USWA Championship Wrestling – January 2, 1993: Let Me Get This Straight…….What?

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 2, 1993
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Dave Brown

So I came across this today and having liked what I’ve seen from the USWA I figured this would be worth checking out. I did a show from February of this year already so I have an idea of what to expect. That show wasn’t all that great but it’s very hard to tell much off one show. Let’s get to it.

Bill Dundee is going to WCW so we get a highlight reel of his career. Dundee comes out and says this is his last week so he’ll be going to all the cities this week and today is his last TV match.

Mike Miller vs. Bill Dundee

Miller pounds him into the corner to start but Dundee pounds him down. Miller comes back but Master of Terror and someone else run in for the DQ.

Master of Terror piledrives Dundee on the floor and the other guy is named Mike Samples. Lawler and Danny Davis (the wrestler, not the referee) run in for the save. Samples manages to get a third piledriver on the concrete on Dundee though.

Lawler talks about how great this crowd is and then talks about how the competition the last few years has been between organizations, not the wrestlers. I believe this is the start of the USWA vs. WWF feud which was actually pretty awesome, as even back in 1993, the USWA acknowledged Vince as the owner of the WWF and had him as the evil Mr. McMahon, leading the war against the USWA. This was never mentioned on WWF TV of course but it was a huge feud. Lawler implies some WWF guys are coming to the USWA and that we’ll get some interpromotional stuff.

As for Mike Samples, he cost Lawler a battle royal win and $10,000. We get a clip of it and Lawler was knocked out by a foreign object and pinned. Different kind of battle royal I guess. Mike Miller (not Mike Samples) jumps Lawler with a chair and they get in a brawl.

Jeff Jarrett plugs a house show.

Brown tells us that Lawler and Miller had been at a party and Miller had gotten drunk. The host had asked Lawler to take care of it so Lawler punched him out. That’s why Miller jumped him. Simple but effective.

Danny Davis says Dundee is like a brother to him but right now he’s got an ice pack on his neck in the back. Davis wants both Samples and Master of Terror in one on one matches tonight.

Jerry Lawler vs. Mr. Paradise

Total squash until Miller runs in for the DQ at about a minute.

It takes awhile to break up. Miller says that he’s not a bad person. He was at a New Year’s Eve party having a good time when he looked up and saw Lawler having milk and cookies. Lawler came over and asked him to leave. Miller wasn’t ready to leave so he kept talking to the girl he was talking to. Lawler spun him around and knocked him out. Miller is going to come after Lawler every time he sees him, no matter where it is. See how easy it is to have a program you could have running for awhile?

We get a clip from a Jarrett vs. Brian Christopher title match. I’m not sure who the champion is here but Christopher hits him with a chain for two. Then someone throws powder in Jeff’s eyes but that only gets two. Jeff rolls him up for two. It’s clipped between each of these things happening. The ref gets bumped and Christopher misses his top rope legdrop.

Jeff hits his cross body off the top but Brian’s manager hit him with a cane for two. Brian got the chain again but Jeff steals it and hits him from the middle rope with it. THAT gets two and these kickouts are getting ridiculous. The manager trips Jeff with his cane but Jeff rolls through and hooks the tights (giving me more of a shot of Christopher in a thong than I ever wanted to see) for the pin. The manager gets shaved post match as I guess a stipulation. Apparently Jarrett won the Southern Heavyweight Title there. This would have been just before Christmas and Jeff’s sixth title reign.

Bounty Hunter vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is non-title. Bounty Hunter is your generic masked man. Jeff pounds him into the corner to start and after a back elbow, a jumping DDT gets the quick pin.

Brian Christopher in a shirt and tie comes out with something to say. Christopher says his manager hasn’t deserted him and he has a guy named Mr. Clyde with him now too. If Jarrett puts the title up, Clyde’s hair will be on the line. Jeff wants Brian’s hair on the line. Christopher says Clyde’s hair plus $1000. Jeff declines again and does the same with $2000. During a commercial, Christopher says he’ll put it on the line in two weeks. Oh ok next week. This week it’s Clyde’s and $2000. Those matches happen on the next two Tuesdays in Memphis. Ok then.

House show rundown. Lawler vs. Samples in a boxing match. To clarify Brian vs. Jeff, both matches will be Jeff vs. Brian. However, Jeff won’t defend the title unless Christopher’s hair is on the line. In the first one, Jeff gets $2000 and to shave Clyde’s hair if he wins. I think the second match happens no matter what. This is overly complicated.

Lawler talks about the fight with Miller and says Miller was too drunk. Lawler is a legit non-drinker so the line about him drinking milk might have been accurate. We hear about Lawler beating him up at the party and it’s the same stuff we heard earlier.

Mike Samples talks about a mixed tag coming up. Oh and Lawler is full of hot air. He knows how to box so he’ll beat up Lawler on Monday.

Ben Jordan/Man Mountain Miller vs. Bruise Brothers

It’s the Harris Brothers. Powerbomb and we’re done in 20 seconds.

The Harris Brothers keep beating on them until the Moondogs make the save with chairs.

Some guy comes out to yell about Mike Samples. Samples manages the Harris Brothers and I think this guy manages the Moondogs. The two teams meet on Monday for the titles. His name is Richard Lee.

The matchmaker talks about how women and men shouldn’t be fighting and Miss Texas (Jackie Moore) is involved in this feud somehow. Apparently the matchmakes is in the match and threatens to spank Samples’ chick. I’m confused about this story but if Jackie isn’t on my screen it’s good.

The Masters of Terror come out for a tag match but Danny Davis and Bill Dundee run in and jump the Masters for earlier. There are two Masters? That makes more sense….I guess. The brawl goes on for a few minutes.

Post break Dundee says he’ll be in a tag match on Monday. He’s in a tag match here. Apparently he’ll be “an executive” in WCW, which means a manager for William Regal.

We run down the Memphis card again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know how well it came off here but this was a mess. Ok so let me make sure I have this straight: Samples is the manager of pretty much every heel on the roster, Lawler is fighting him on Monday after spending the whole show brawling with and talking about some guy named Mike Miller, and Jarrett has to beat Christopher in a non-title match to be able to defend the title against him?

This was somehow even more confusing on TV because they assume everyone knows who these people are so we have no idea what the history here is or what name goes with what face. Really confusing show and the very limited wrestling we got was bad as well. I likely won’t be doing more USWA from this era.

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Wrestlemania #2 – The NFL Vs. WWF Battle Royal – Could It Work Today?

This was a pretty big deal that you don’t hear about that often.We often see football players on wrestling shows, but never to this extent.  Ok not until 1995 but you get the idea.  Is this something you could see working today?  It’s a possibility but I’m not sure I’d want to see it, mainly due to the amount of screwing up they could do to it if it wasn’t done just right.

 

Thoughts?




Wrestlemania Count-Up – #2: The Inbred Cousin Of Wrestlemania

Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar  out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: D+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

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Rock Or Cena

Which side are you on?I’m still with Cena.  Rock was far funnier tonight when he was on location, which makes me think that he’s lost the ability in front of a live crowd.  He’s gotten used to a script and being on film which is a very different style.  I’m curious to see Cena’s reaction if he loses though.

 

Thoughts?




Monday Night Raw – March 5, 2012 – The Word Of The Night Is Smart

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2012
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We have four Raws to go before Wrestlemania and tonight’s is star studded to say the least. We have Rock, HHH, Undertaker and Shawn scheduled to be on the show tonight so there’s definitely an old school feel to it. Other than that I’d expect more build to the PPV as almost everything is set in stone by this point. That’s probably a good thing though. Let’s get to it.

Teddy Long is in charge tonight.

Here’s Shawn to open the show. He says he loves hearing the HBK chant now because it allows him to catch his breath because he can’t move around that well anymore. Shawn talks about how things got heated with him and HHH but that’s all over because now the match is on. He asks HHH to come out here. Here’s the Game and they hug. Shawn reminds HHH of all the things that he said last week and even said he called HHH a coward, somehow getting away with it.

Something must have changed HHH’s mind and Shawn has to know what it was. HHH doesn’t look happy. The fans chant for Undertaker. HHH starts to talk but Shawn cuts him off as he wants to see the moment HHH agreed to the match with his buddy. We see the clip and of HHH agreeing after Taker said Shawn is better. HHH starts to talk again but Shawn cuts him off. It was saying Shawn was better that set HHH off.

HHH says he left Shawn a voicemail about this but if we need to do this in front of the world so be it. HHH says this isn’t about which of them is better. He’s tired of hearing people talk about how Shawn couldn’t get the job done. He’s tired of people calling Shawn a failure who was never as good as he thought he was. HHH is his best friend and the guy that believes that Shawn is the best ever. HHH is going to end the Streak to shut those people up about Shawn. How would that shut them up exactly? Shawn is a little offended by this and says HHH will lose again. Oh, AND HE’S GUEST REFEREE.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Ace and Otunga come out almost immediately. Santino loads up the Cobra but Ace distracts, allowing Ziggler to interfere and Swagger hits the gutwrench powerbomb…for two? Cue Teddy with Kofi and we go to a break. The portion we saw lasted about a minute and I’m assuming it was thrown out. Amazingly enough it’s not a tag match yet! Teddy and Ace get in a fight almost immediately as Ziggler interferes AGAIN. Kofi smacks him so Ziggler gets a Cobra. Vickie avoids one so Aksana gets in a fight with her. Santino counters the Cobra into the ankle lock as Teddy knocks Ace down. Santino counters the ankle lock into a rollup AND WINS THE TITLE AT 6:30!!!!! I’m legit shocked.

Rating: D+. The match was an overbooked mess but it was awesome. I’m not a Santino fan at all but it’s not like the title means anything on Swagger. The title died the minute Ryder lost it so putting it on Santino is just fine. I’m glad they didn’t turn this into a tag match as it gave me a legit surprise.

Ace freaks out but Teddy says this is his show and throws Ace out. Santino, Kofi, Aksana and Teddy all do the Trombone.

Rock is in Boston and he’s got a history lesson for Cena. This is filmed on location earlier in the day. He talks about how the British were in people of Boston’s faces every day. Then in 1773, the Boston people threw the tea in the ocean and called it the Boston Tea Party. So tonight, Rock is going to throw some of Cena’s stuff in the ocean. He has a bunch of merchandise. “John Cena midget shorts. Who would buy these things? They’re an insult to midgets. The John Cena garden gnome. There’s a man somewhere with one of these in his garden. And he’s a virgin.” Rock is coming to start the Rock Revolution tonight.

Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

Kelly is on commentary and talking about being nominated for a Kids’ Choice Award. Rollup, 34 seconds.

Post match cue RYDER to a big pop. He can at least walk now. Broskis before Hoeskis.

Post break Eve tries to apologize to Ryder and kisses him. She walks off smiling and Ryder seems to fall for it.

We cut to earlier today with Cena alone in the arena. I’ve always liked shots like that. He talks about Wrestlemania and how it’ll be full of moments. With everything that’ll be happening, all eyes will be on two men and one match. He talks about how Boston is now being the city of champions after being the city of broken hearts for so long. Cena talks about them losing the Super Bowl to the Giants but no one remembers second place. If he loses, he’s just another name in Rock’s book. But if he wins, it’s the biggest match ever and no one remembers second place.

CM Punk/Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan

Smackdown has made me loathe these main event style tags. You know, Bryan has looked like a complete afterthought in his feud. The two of them haven’t interacted at all that I remember. They’ve probably been in the ring together a few times but it’s been nothing significant. Jericho and Punk start and Chris is knocked to the corner very quickly. Off to Bryan and Sheamus with Sheamus beating on him like he stole something. Clothesline gets two.

Back to the starters with Jericho getting in a shot to the ribs which are still hurt from last week. We take a break and come back with Punk coming up out of a hold, only to get side slammed. They’re really pushing the social media tonight, reading tweets from “fans”. Off to Sheamus who hits the Irish Curse for two on Jericho. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to take over and Sheamus is down.

Jericho hooks a chinlock but misses a running knee in the corner. Double tag to Punk and Bryan and Punk springboards in, hurting his back in the process. He comes back with one arm though and manages to slam Bryan and hit the elbow. Everything breaks down and Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross on Bryan but Jericho saves. I can’t keep up with all this. Jericho goes for the Walls on Punk but Punk counters to a small package but Jericho counters into one of his own for the pin at 10:57.

Rating: C. See, this one helps as it actually gives us a new wrinkle in this story. Jericho has a pin over Punk now so the title is in some more jeopardy. That’s a big perk as until then, it was Jericho trying to make Punk tap which just wasn’t going to happen. Not a bad match either with Punk’s top notch selling helping a lot.

Off to Paul Revere’s statue. Rock wants to know what would happen if Cena was riding instead of Revere. We’d all be having tea and blessing the Queen. Rock would have to invent a time machine and go back to 1776 to beat up Cena. With the Flux Capacitor smoking, the Rock, 25% black, 25% Samoan and 50% Clydesdale, Ben Franklin would say forget you kite, THIS MAN invented electricity. We get Rock’s version of Yankee Doodle involving a feather going into John Cena and calling it a jabroni. Hilarious stuff.

Big Show vs. The Miz

Miz immediately hits the floor and Cody is on the ramp. He says there’s nothing worse than embarrassment. There’s no clip this week, because at Mania 18, Show was at the WWE restaurant in New York instead of having a match. Miz jumps Show but is speared down and the WMD gets the pin at 2:00, about 1:40 of which was Cody talking/the clip.

Time for the third Rock history lesson. He’s in front of the Massachusetts State House and talks about how the revolution lead to the birth of a new nation. The people have been waiting for ten years for Rock to overthrow John Cena and tonight, Rock is in the Garden.

Undertaker will confront Shawn next week.

Kane vs. R-Truth

Truth talks about Little Jimmy a bit before the match. Truth attacks him in the corner to start and gets beaten down quickly. He gets in a few punches but the axe kick misses. Chokeslam gets the pin at 1:23.

As soon as Kane does the corner fire, here’s Orton. Truth grabs Kane’s foot so Orton can hit the RKO. He wants a mic and says it’s good to be back.

Here’s Cena for the big closing number. He says the place is pumped and he knows why. The Rock is back. He means the real Rock, the one he needs to face at Wrestlemania. Rock has been giving history lessons all day and it’s exciting. But if you get through all of the theatrics, what is Rock really saying? He’s obsessed with breakfast cereal, he’s obsessed with how Cena looks, and talks about how many women he’s slept with. Am I fighting Rock or Situation from Jersey Shore?

Last week Rock was shaken by what Cena said and that’s never happened before. Cena says look at me. He looks ridiculous. He’s wearing kneepads to talk to you people tonight, but this is what shook the Rock. But tonight Rock has his swagger back. He wants to see The Rock in this ring right now. Not Dwayne, but The Rock. Cue Rock and Cena is even more fired up.

Rock says he’s never been shaken and unconfident. When you strip everything away, at the Rock’s core, Rock is 6’4, 260lbs of man that is going to rip Cena’s throat out. At Cena’s core, he’ll always be a little boy. And that’s it? Rock leaves with that and Cena says that doesn’t intimidate him one bit.

In a brilliant bit, Cena reads Rock’s height and weight off his arm. Rock can rip his throat out and he’s going to have to do just that to beat him. Cena says he’ll make history at Wrestlemania when he wins and that’s it. Cena dives into the fans to end the show. I’m assuming that’s his family or something. He hugs his dad and apparently the rest of his family. Cena’s wife is shown on camera and is really pretty.

Overall Rating: A. I love and hate Wrestlemania time. It gives us great episodes like this one but it also reminds you of how bad the rest of the year can be. The key word for tonight would be smart. Everything had a point and made sense, which is arguably the most important thing a wrestling show can do. I’m fired up for Wrestlemania and that’s hitting at the right time. Great show tonight and I want to see more.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Eve Torres b. Alicia Fox – Rollup
Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk/Sheamus – Small package to Punk
Big Show b. The Miz – WMD
Kane b. R-Truth – Chokeslam

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Santino Marella Wins The US Title

Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair, Magnum TA……Santino Marella?

 

Swagger wasn’t doing jack with it so putting it on someone the people love and who is at least on TV every week is fine.

 

Thoughts?




Shawn Michaels To Referee HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania

It fits the story and if they have to go with another gimmick to it, that’s the perfect one.  It says a lot when this match has technically been three years and three featured Wrestlemania matches including one main event in the making.  That has to be a record.




(Not My) Thought of the Day – How Times Change

This is something I saw a similar version of in a comment on a blog but it made a lot of sense.Picture a group of wrestlers who look different enough to tell them apart but get no substantial mic time, have a generic name and wear generic outfits.

 

Back in the 70s and 80s we’d call them jobbers.  Today we call most of  them superstars.




Championship Wrestling From Florida – April 10, 1982: No Award For The Catering?

Championship Wrestling From Florida
Date: April 10, 1982
Location: Sportatorium, Tampa, Florida
Commentator: Gordon Solie

This is one of the major territories I’ve never touched on which is a shame. Florida was easily one of the most important places as everyone went there at some point. It was owned by Eddie Graham who people claim to be one of the most brilliant bookers ever, as well as one of the most ripped off booker ever. Anyway I don’t know much of anything about the angles going on here so let’s get to it.

Florida TV Title: Dory Funk Jr. vs. Sweet Brown Sugar

Joined in progress as was Florida’s custom. I believe Sugar is defending here but he’s in an armbar as we join things. We have three or four minutes remaining in the fifteen minute time limit. Dory has something called the International Title. Under three minutes. Sugar fights up and dropkicks him to the floor. Tommy Young is referee. Was there ANY other NWA referee in the 80s? Funk comes back with those famous forearms of his but gets cross bodied for two. David Von Erich is here and jumps Sugar. Two minutes left. Dory piledrives him for two. A minute to go. Dory hooks the toe hold but the time runs out.

Rating: N/A. I don’t think it’s fair to grade four and a half minutes of a fifteen minute match. David would win the title in two weeks and then lose it to Dory before the year was over. The title would also be retired by the end of the year. Anyway not much here as the time limit draw was pretty clear the whole time.

Gordon is with some chick named Barbara who is a corespondent I guess. We’ll get some video on Dusty Rhodes later.

Apparently later is now as we see Dusty singing with Willie Nelson in concert. Over in Japan, Dusty says even though Dusty hasn’t been in Florida for six months, no one has risen up to fill his shoes. He’s been chasing Ric Flair around the country but he’s coming home.

We hear from a sheriff about a festival for charity that happened recently. Mike Graham beat up a deputy. Another deputy had a sleeper put on him. They raised over $6000. That’s cool if nothing else. There was a parade too with Eddie Graham as the marshal. Eddie gets the key to the city for his efforts.

We keep up the civic stuff with Eddie getting an honorary membership in the Rotary Club and some other award from them. He gets a third award from them. The charity stuff is cool and all but do we need to spend like ten minutes on this and the Dusty stuff?

Now the sheriff gets awards. GET ON WITH IT. The guy that put the sleeper on the deputy gets an award. Oh that’s Magnum TA. I didn’t recognize him for a bit there. Now the co-chairman is here to present an award to Mike Graham. This just keeps going. Isn’t this supposed to be a wrestling show?

Andre Fillipe vs. Kendo Nagasaki

Nagasaki is called the Black Ninja and is managed by JJ Dillon. The Ninja looks like he’s in gray trousers. The announcer calls the jobber Peltier but Solie says Fillipe. I’ll go with the Dean. Nagasaki chops a lot and wins with a big chop.

Dillon says that’s another body on the pile. He’s challenged Mike Graham for a match today but there’s no response from Mike. Graham pops up in the ring in a suit but he’s ready to go in street clothes. JJ gets in with a kendo stick but gets knocked down and beaten with the stick. Graham slaps on a figure four and JJ is in trouble. Nagasaki makes the save but gets beaten down as well and put in a figure four. JJ saves but is sent to the floor, allowing Nagasaki to choke Graham down. Graham bleeds from the mouth until some wrestlers make the save.

Gordon is at the announce desk and gets a call on the Batphone telling him that Graham is being taken to the hospital.

Wahoo McDaniel vs. Rick Harris

This is from Charlotte. Wahoo kills him with the big chop after about a minute shown.

Video on Flair and his tastes for the finer things in life. I think this is on one of Flair’s DVDs actually. Vignettes like these would do wonders for 99% of the roster today.

Dick Murdoch vs. Iron Sheik

Murdoch beats on Sheik with the flag before the match so Murdoch has a very early advantage. This isn’t in the Florida studios and JJ is on commentary. He seems to be a big Sheik supporter. Murdoch pounds him down and JJ (while still on commentary) jumps in and we cut it away.

Brian Blair vs. Bob Russell

Airplane spin, cobra clutch, done. Blair wins if that wasn’t clearn.

Jimmy Garvin is worried about Mike Graham. This goes on for awhile and he doesn’t have much to say.

Here’s a clip (I guess) of a Butch Reed match. It’s done even faster than the Blair match, maybe lasting 20 seconds before the pin off a cross body.

El Gran Apollo/Terry Allen vs. Don Diamond/Cyclone Negro

Don Diamond was the name of Corporal Reyes on the Zorro series produced by Disney in the 50s. That Diamond would be about 60 at this point so I’m going to assume it’s not him. Allen dropkicks him down anyway and they trade wristlocks. Here’s Apollo and never mind as it’s back to Allen. Negro comes in for literally four seconds before tagging back out. Magnum is beaten down for awhile until the hot tag brings in Apollo. He cleans house and we’re almost out of time. Actually we’re out of time and it’s a draw. Wait the bell rang but they fight through the credits and Magnum gets the pin off a cross body. Ok then.

Rating: D. The ending, assuming it actually was one, wasn’t any good. This was one of those long squashes that they had to have to fill in the rest of the show. You could have had a match in there but we needed to have the awards presentations earlier right? Anyway bad match, but Allen would become a huge star soon enough.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t impressed here but to be fair it’s 1982 which isn’t exactly the best time in the world for pro wrestling. Anyway, I have a few other shows from this company that are a few years after this so they should be nice to see as a comparison to this. This company gets great reactions so maybe they were just having a bad day.

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Wrestlemania #1 – Did It Have The Right Main Event?

The main event was Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff. Was that the right main event?In short, no it wasn’t.  The main event should have been Hogan vs. Piper for the title, preferably with Piper defending the belt that he won at War to Settle the Score  after Piper cheated like there was no tomorrow and stealing the title while Hogan threw a total fit afterwards, demanding a rematch here.  Hogan winning the title back here would have been great and they could have found a way to get T. in there somewhere else.

 

Thoughts on this?