Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 16, 1988
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

It’s another show here but we’ve got a new location at least. This is where the first TNA show took place but that was about fourteen years from now. This is six days before the first Royal Rumble but we’ve got a few weeks of TV to get through before that’s acknowledged, which will likely get on my nerves. Let’s get to it.

The marketing boss of the arena welcomes us to the show. That’s different.

As always, the announcers open the show and we get the opening sequence. Vince tells us who’s coming today.

Strike Force vs. Dusty Wolfe/Iron Mike Sharpe

Strike force are tag champions but this is non title. Martel starts with Sharpe and we get to something very special to me. As usual we get a voiceover from the Fink talking about an upcoming house show, this one at a high school on Wednesday night, February 3. That night, I was being born. Tito vs. Wolfe now and the champs’ dominance continues. Tito gets beaten down for a few seconds until it’s off to Martel who cleans house with dropkicks and Tito’s Figure Four ends this.

Rating: D. Boring match, but the announcement of the house show was really cool to hear. Strike Force is a team I’ve always liked and they were pretty underrated. For some reason despite holding the titles for six months, they’re viewed as transitional champions. I’ve never really gotten that.

UPDATE! With Craig DeGeorge!

Hogan vs. Andre II is announced for February 5, LIVE on NBC. We look at Mania III and the controversy over the slam. Not the famous one, the one early in the match. Andre jumped Hogan on a SNME and beat him down.

Van Van Horne vs. Greg Valentine

Yes, that’s the right name for the jobber. The squashing continues and we hear more about that February 3 house show. There’s a butterfly suplex for two and we hear from some fans if Brutus Beefcake should be allowed to cut hair. Valentine pulls up off a pin and drops an elbow. Figure Four ends this.

House show ads.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tiger Chung Lee

Bigelow is the second biggest face in the company at this point. A bunch of headbutts, a bunch of forearms, a few slams, slingshot splash and we’re done.

Ron Bass vs. Rex King

Bass is an evil cowboy. He wears a black hat and names his rope. Scott Casey, a cowboy who wears a white hat, says that Texas doesn’t like Ron Bass. Ok then. Bass allows a few free shots before finishing with more or less a Pedigree minutes the arm trap.

Hogan and Bigelow talk about being all ready to face DiBiase and Andre.

We get a clip of Matilda being dognapped.

British Bulldogs vs. Gino Carabello/Brian Costello

Costello is a long running Superstars jobber. Take a guess as to what happens in this one. Smith powerslams him but doesn’t cover. Dynamite comes in for the delayed vertical and we cut to the platform for a shot of the Islanders and Heenan. Dynamite gets the pin with a belly to back superplex. Total squash.

The Islanders and Heenan have dog food. Heenan says Tunney knows where the dog is so go find him. The Bulldogs run off and Heenan says they’re innocent.

Don Muraco vs. Dave Wagner

It’s confirmed that Matilda’s whereabouts are known but not her condition. Not much contract so far until he clotheslines Wagner in the corner and pounds him down like he owes Muraco money. Muraco goes up and drives his knee into Wagner’s chest. Tombstone ends this squash.

Rating: D. Another dull match but seeing the tombstone in the 80s is interesting. Muraco wouldn’t be around a ton longer before he headed to the indies like the dreadful UWF. Other than that, there’s not much here but it’s a squash so what exactly was I looking for in the first place?

Bad News is coming.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brady Boone

DiBiase says he’s going to buy the world title. Boone gets some slams and the fans erupt. DiBiase was hated man. Ted slams him down, goes to the middle rope and falls backwards with an elbow for the pin. I like that.

House show stuff, including shows where DiBiase would team with Andre against Bigelow and Hogan. Ted would have the title at that point for all of one day.

The Bulldogs say Matilda is in bad shape.

Vince tells us what’s coming next week and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. They packed in a lot of stuff but the announcement of Hogan vs. Andre II was bigger than anything else. The Bulldogs getting their dog back was a storyline development to end a quick story. Other than that though, there isn’t much going on at all here but we’d be getting to the tournament stuff soon enough.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 27, 1998
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 12,019
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Fully Loaded and we have new tag champions in Austin/Undertaker. We’re officially headed to Summerslam now which I believe is in four weeks. They’ll be defending tonight in the main event against the Outlaws. Other than that there isn’t much else to talk about. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills of Taker tombstoning Kane to win the titles and then leaving with both belts.

Here’s Taker to open the show with both belts. He talks about beating Kane last night and now he and Austin are the champions. They’ll be champions but they’ll never be partners until Austin apologizes. That brings out Undertaker who doesn’t believe what he just heard. Vince says that he believes there’s a conspiracy because he would have done the same thing Taker had done last night if he was trying to screw Austin. It took three tombstones to beat Kane at Wrestlemania but one last night.

Therefore, if anyone deserves an apology, it’s Vince. Vince is hurt after the chokeslam last week so Taker should apologize. Tonight the new champions defend against the Outlaws. Vince says he won’t leave until he gets an apology. Here’s Austin who tells Vince to leave because he’s got nothing to say to him. As for the apology, here’s a middle finger for Taker instead.

Vader vs. D’Lo Brown

Vader pounds him down to start and Brown looks for mercy in the ropes. Brown fights back with rights of his own and slams Vader like it’s nothing. He does it again and hits a moonsault for two. They go to the outside and Vader takes off the chest protector. A splash on the floor is enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. It says a lot when you get slammed by D’Lo. I mean….he’s D’Lo Brown. This went nowhere but I think the idea was to keep Vader strong so that when he’s jobbing for everyone else there’s still the tiniest bit of value to a win over him. The match itself was nothing though.

Here’s Droz’s World, which is a weird kind of reality show thing.

Brawl For All Quarter-Finals: Bart Gunn vs. Steve Williams

Bart knocks him out in the third round, thereby making WWF want to blow up the whole thing because Williams was the guy they wanted to push as well as making JR’s soul die a little bit.

Ad for Sunday Night Heat in a mockup of the 60 Minutes clock.

Williams is helped to the back while Owen Hart comes out. Owen says he proved himself last night and issues an open challenge. Cue Jason Sensation in his Owen attire. He wants them to stand nose to nose, which means they’ll be miles apart. Jason starts a nugget chant but when Owen comes after him, we get Owen’s real opponent.

Owen Hart vs. Dan Severn

Owen hits him low and we’re ready to go. Severn is in street clothes. Owen tries a quick Sharpshooter but Severn gets out. Shamrock runs in for the DQ after about 40 seconds.

Ken immediately starts choking Owen out and Severn has to put Ken in a Dragon Sleeper to break it up. Blackman comes down to break up the breaking up.

After a break, Shamrock doesn’t want to talk.

Farrooq/Scorpio vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Bradshaw is on commentary and is very mad at Terry Funk. Scorpio and 8-Ball start us off but it’s off to Farrooq quickly. Skull comes in and does about as well as his brother. JR has no idea which is which. The bikers get Farrooq on the floor so Scorpio hits a huge dive onto both of them. Scorpio is in legal now and takes a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.

Lawler agrees with Bradshaw about Funk so Bradshaw grabs him by the throat and says call the match. Scorpio hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise to bring in Farrooq. He knocks one of DOA to the floor and Bradshaw goes off. He jumps Farrooq as well and it’s a DQ. Too short to rate but it was there for Bradshaw.

A brawl breaks out post match and Bradshaw leaves.

Rock isn’t worried about defending the title against HHH and X-Pac tonight.

Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. X-Pac vs. The Rock

It’s a triple threat, not a handicap match. That’s a new concept at this time so JR explaining it is more acceptable. It’s HHH’s birthday. DX double teams him to start and it’s dominance. Rock manages to clothesline X-Pac down but gets taken down immediately by the future Game. There’s the jumping knee to the face and it sounds like the fans are singing Happy Birthday.

Pedigree looks to pin Rock but Pac breaks it up because he wants to be the champion. I know it’s a cliched path for these matches to take but it makes perfect sense. HHH is sent to the apron and Rock whips X-Pac into him, sending HHH into the table. It’s basically a one on one now with Rock in control. Samoan Drop gets two. Rock hits the People’s Elbow and the place comes unglued. You can see it coming.

It only got two so there’s a Rock Bottom. Even JR wants to cheer Rock at this point but can’t quite do it. Everyone is back in now and HHH takes Rock down. X-Factor looks to pin Rock but HHH breaks it up. Rock rolls to the floor while DX implodes. He walks out and it’s a countout, so we have two winners but no title change. All hail Russo?

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they didn’t have the idea perfected yet. Rock’s popularity is scary and I don’t think they knew what was coming when they finally turned him after Summerslam. Now they turned him right back at Survivor Series but I think it was more of a preview for his real face push in 1999.

The Outlaws say they’re not concerned about what just happened. They are however concerned about getting the tag titles back.

Brakkus vs. Jesus

Brakkus is a German musclehead and I think you can make your own jokes about his opponent. Spinebuster ends this quick. Brakkus would never be seen on Raw again.

Val is in the shower with Yamaguchi-San’s wife. She looks better with wet hair.

Val Venis vs. Brian Christopher

Before the match, Kai En Tai comes out…..with swords. Christopher jumps him to start and does that evil laugh of his. Kai En Tai has salamis now. Brian tries a piledriver but gets caught in an Alabama Slam. Scotty distracts val and Brian gets a DDT. Never mind as Val finishes with a fisherman’s suplex. This was another quick match.

Too Much double teams Val until Taka makes the save. Kai En Tai challenges Val to a match and then says after that “I choppy choppy your pee pee.” And yes, that’s what he means. He cuts one of the salamis with the sword.

Godfather/Mark Henry vs. Legion of Doom

Godfather is officially a pimp. Hawk is stumbling around and not in his shoulder pads. He falls getting into the ring and is drunk. Animal and Henry start things off. Off to Godfather and Animal works his arm. Animal reaches for a tag but Hawk is asleep. Henry drops a leg for two. Animal powerslams Godfather for the same result. Back to Henry who can’t even do a shoulder block right at this point. The Warriors try the Doomsday Device and Hawk falls off the top. Death Valley Driver pins Animal.

Rating: D. This was an angle that I was never comfortable with. It ended badly and naturally in Lexington because bad things happen in this town. Anyway, this was the start of the angle that more or less ended their careers and that’s probably the best thing for them as their age had taken a big toll on them.

It’s time for the trophy presentation for the bikini contest that Sable won last night. Lawler gets to present it of course. Mero and Jackie are here for this as well. Sable loses because body paint doesn’t count so Jackie wins, so says Vince. Sable says she knows she won and she isn’t surprised at this at all. She wishes Vince was man enough to tell her to her face. That brings out Vince who rips into Sable and calls himself a knight in shining armor. He can replace her but won’t as long as she doesn’t become ungrateful. Sable takes her t-shirt off and has on a bikini.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Steve Austin/Undertaker

Austin and Gunn start it and we’ve got a beach ball which Austin punts HARD. Billy tells Austin to kiss it, Austin flips him off. The first hard contact is a clothesline to take Gunn down but he bails to avoid the Stunner. Austin goes after him but Roadie gets in a shot. Off to Taker and Road Dogg the the Dead Man dominating. Old School takes the canine down.

He sets for the chokeslam but Billy chop blocks him. The Outlaws work on Taker’s knee with Road Dogg trying a stepover toe hold. Taker counters that into a leg bar in something modern Taker would use. He pounds Road Dogg in the corner but Roadie ducks a big boot and chop blocks the Dead Man down. After more work on the leg we get some heel (I guess?) miscommunication. Billy misses a splash and here’s Austin. He cleans house and pins Road Dogg with a Stunner in about 20 seconds.

Rating: C. This was a much better match than I was expecting. The Outlaws worked a decent heel match here as they went after the leg as they probably should have. Austin and Taker were never in any real danger so this was more of a formality than a match, and that’s ok.

Austin throws Taker a beer post match which he eventually drinks. Kane and Mankind run in to attack Austin and Taker helps his partner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show but it’s pretty clear that they’re just going through onto the next week until we get to Summerslam. The whole conspiracy went on forever and never really had a definitive ending. It would result in Vince going super evil though which was pretty interesting in the latter part of the year. Not a great show but not bad.

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Clash of the Champions 22
Date: January 13, 1993
Location: The Mecca, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Well this is it. This is the 9th level of torment. It’s the absolute greatest form of torture in recorded history. This, is WCW in 1993. I’ll wait for your hearts to start beating again. WCW was great at times, but when they were bad sweet merciful crap they were bad. This is some of their worst. The main event is an 8 man cage match pitting the evil team against the good team. That’s not a simple way of putting it. That’s what they say in the opening video. Let’s get this over with so we can move on to something more pleasant like a root canal.

Tony and Cowboy Bill Watts open the show as Watts talks about the old days because having the actual boss on TV was something that WCW thought was a good idea for no apparent reason at all.

Van Hammer is hurt and off the main event tonight but there’s going to be a replacement named Vinnie Vegas for the arm wrestling contest that Van Hammer is in. No mention is made of him not being in the main event. The arm wrestling thing is big news though baby!

Erik Watts, Bill’s son, has been arrested. Dang they’re not hiding anything here are they? Bill: Erik has always been like my son. Maybe because he is your son you stupid, stupid man. Erik is suspended tonight. He happens to be here for an interview though and the booing is really loud. He was supposed to fight Cactus Jack and can barely talk. Erik was a guy that was supposed to be awesome, but only his dad thought that. He was absolutely terrible so Bill put him on the upper midcard because he could.

Ross and Ventura open the show and talk about the main event like sane people would do. This was one of JR’s last major shows so Eric was about to take over.

Cactus Jack vs. Johnny B. Badd

Cactus, a heel, gets a noticeable face pop. Badd is rather effeminate tonight to put it mildly. This stems off of Starrcade 92 where they were Lethal Lottery partners and they brawled to lose the match. Jesse points out that there are signs for Cactus Jack everywhere and it makes him wonder what is wrong with these people.

Naturally Cactus makes it a brawl (aww why not MAKE IT A WIN?) but Badd wrestles him which works far better for him. Oddly enough he’s a brawler by nature who is wrestling to his advantage. That says a lot about Jack’s brawling abilities. Small package gets one for Badd. Top rope sunset flip doesn’t connect and Cactus drops an elbow for the pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: C. This was confusing to say the least as Cactus had gotten very over all of a sudden and WCW wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with it. Not a bad match but it was a very quick match so it’s not like you could say much about it at all. Fun little match though and the face pop is interesting if nothing else.

There’s a new NWA Champion and his name is the Great Muta. He won it at the WCW/NJPW Supershow III which I recently reviewed.

We get more or less a music video of 2 Cold Scorpio which shifts into a PSA and then back into a video. And hey he’s in the ring. Oh never mind it’s a highlight video now. I won’t get tired of Scorpio in the ring though so this is fine by me.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Scott Flamingo

It’s an ECW preview match here as Flamingo would change species later as he turned into Raven. Scorpio spins out of some stuff and we have an early standoff. He likes to use a lot of cartwheels. We head to the floor early with Flamingo taking a flying shot to the back. Back in with Scotty getting a nice running dropkick before a dive over the top to the floor, taking out the Cold dude.

Small package gets two for Scorpio but he’s in trouble so far. We hit the chinlock as they need a bit of a break. Scorpio speeds things up a bit again and hits the Tumbleweed for two. A spinning legdrop in the corner sets up the original 450 to end this though. Far better than you would expect.

Rating: B. This was just four minutes but DANG it was a good four minutes. Scorpio is a guy I’ve always liked and this was no exception at all. He looked great out there and Flamingo was no slouch either. They were both MOVING out there in a match that would have been a good Cruiserweight match about five years later. Good stuff.

What the heck? This show was supposed to suck remember.

Video on Thundercage which is the main event tonight. In essence it’s Hell in a Cell. We hear about how Rude is out with an injury and Team Vader needed a replacement. Cactus and Orndorff had a match with the winner getting the spot. Jack took out Vader’s manager and got jumped during the match by Vader, more or less pushing him to the brink of a face turn without actually going the other way. Later in the night Cactus drilled all of them with a shovel. Dang I want to watch Halloween Havoc 93 and the Texas Death Match now. If you don’t get it, Cactus in 93 was AWESOME.

Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Benoit

This is more or less Benoit’s debut. He had a one night appearance back in a tag tournament but that’s more or less forgotten here. Armstrong is an incredibly solid wrestler that most people haven’t seen much of which is a shame. We hear about how Benoit survived the Dungeon so they know he’s good. To give you an idea of how good Armstrong is, he’s not only keeping up with Benoit but he’s even beating him to a degree in technical style.

To the surprise of no one we’re on the mat with more or less a test of strength going on. Benoit powers up in a bridge and Jesse is impressed. Armstrong does the same thing as this is good stuff so far. Some moron shouts boring and is promptly booed out of the building. Armstrong gets a nice reversal to send Benoit to the floor. Back in Armstrong hits some more dropkicks and back to the arm. Basic stuff but well done so far.

Benoit gets the suplex drop onto the top rope as he’s pretty firmly in control at the moment. Benoit gets a running springboard clothesline (think the dropkick that Jericho does and the cross body that Christian does) to Armstrong on the apron to take us to the floor. It’s very clear that this is pre-steroids for the pre-Crippler. Snap suplex gets two.

Armstrong gets a knee in but it gets him nowhere as Benoit hooks a backbreaker to get himself out of trouble. Diving headbutt misses though and here comes Armstrong. And never mind as Benoit hooks the Dragon Suplex out of nowhere (full nelson suplex) to get the pin. Sweet bridge on the pin.

Rating: B. I really liked this one but then again when you have two talented guys out there this is what you get. Nice little story being told as Armstrong was able to beat Benoit with basic stuff but once they cranked things up Benoit was far too much for him. It shows that Benoit can turn on the jets and blow people away, which is a good sign for him in this impressive debut.

We get some clips of the Rock N Roll Express in Smokey Mountain Wrestling which is pretty much brand new at this point. They’re going to be at Superbrawl which is one of WCW’s first steps into cross-promotional. We see them beating the Heavenly Bodies for the Smokey Mountain Tag Titles. Ok so we don’t see the title change and the clip just kind of ends. Ok then.

Jesse is in the ring to do his arm wrestling thing. This was a worked tournament thing he did which went nowhere. Van Hammer, the winner of the tournament, is hurt though so it’s Tony Atlas vs. Vinnie Vegas, more commonly known as Kevin Nash. Nash is allegedly left handed so we’ll use the left arms. Atlas sounds like he’s in labor and Nash wins after a LONG contest that the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with.

Back from a break with Vader’s challenge to Sting for the White Castle of Fear. This is just Vader standing in snow instead of the official video which is Sting in a helicopter and going to a party with more or less S&M, an orgy and midgets. It was indeed weird but it was WCW in 1993 so there you go.

Larry Zbyszko talks about the tournament for the #1 contender spot to the US Title. The finals turned out to be Dustin Rhodes vs. Ricky Steamboat but since Rude was injured the finals became for the title instead of the title shot with Rhodes winning the belt. We get clips of all four first round matches, none of which are anything special at all. We throw in clips of the semi-finals just because they can.

Wrecking Crew vs. Johnny Gunn/Tom Zenk

One of the Wrecking Crew is a dead ringer for Animal and upon further review yeah it’s his brother. Gunn is Tom Brandi who some of you may have heard of but if not he’s not worth looking up. Rage starts for the Wrecking Crew against Z-Man. This is power vs. speed with speed clearing the ring to start. HUGE dive by Gunn to take down both guys on the floor. That was sweet looking!

Heel miscommunication gets a rollup for two for Gunn. The Wrecking Crew takes over with basic power stuff as this isn’t much at all. A facejam by Gunn brings in Zenk. We get a really awkward spot as Fury was supposed to charge out of the corner into a backdrop but he just stopped, making Zenk look like an idiot. I mean more of an idiot than he typically does.

The referee ducks a clothesline and the Wrecking Crew continues to take over. Z-Man (they use that name and Zenk interchangeably) gets a boot up to block an axe handle off the middle rope and Gunn comes in. Forearm/clothesline takes down Fury who has been in there forever. And then a shot to the back of Gunn results in a move called the Wrecking Ball where Fury gets Gunn over his shoulder and Rage jumps off with a forearm smash to end it.

Rating: D. This was really rather weak and definitely the worst match of the night so far. This wasn’t anything special at all with the Wrecking Crew more or less disappearing after this and Zenk/Gunn never meaning anything at all. Pretty weak match that went nowhere at all but at least it was only about six minutes long.

Larry Z talks to the Hollywood Blondes and their title match against Steamboat/Douglas up next. They aren’t called the Blondes yet but it’s coming.

Sting comes out and accepts Vader’s challenge. Simmons and Rhodes, his partners tonight, say they’re not worried.

Vader’s team says they’re ready for a handicap match. Race says they’ll get back at Cactus Jack eventually, which resulted in a really stupid angle which resulted in a really good match. They beat up Barbarian because he’s Jack’s friend to make it 3-3 because they’re very stupid.

We get highlights from the first two SuperBrawls to give us a reason to buy the third one. The show wound up being not bad. This eats up a few minutes. Ok make that several minutes.

Steamboat and Douglas say they’ll keep the titles. They’re the Unified Tag Champions which was something far too complicated that crippled WCW in the second half of 92 but hey, whatever the NWA says goes right?

Unified Tag Titles: Shane Douglas/Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman

Both teams are in the ring when we get back. The time limit is thirty minutes here instead of the usual hour which allegedly is going to cause faster pin attempts. Steamboat and Austin start us off and do I need to explain to you why this is awesome? Steamboat and Douglas send the Blondes to the floor almost immediately as this is going to be fast paced for sure.

Steamboat won’t shake Austin’s hand so Austin pounds on him. Off to Pillman and we unleash the chops. Shane comes in off the top as we talk about Bruno Sammartino for some reason. The champions tag in very quickly and Pillman hurts his knee on a leapfrog attempt. Stu Hart trained him though so of course he’s faking. He tries a springboard cross body but gets the heck powerslammed out of him by Shane for two.

Shane works on Austin’s arm as the future bald man is in trouble. Brian breaks up a pin as this is completely one sided. Steamboat throws Pillman onto Austin and Stone Cole is in trouble. Finally the challengers take over off a suplex and some double teaming. They work over Steamboat’s back with a slam on the floor. Steamboat manages a sunset flip but Austin has the referee.

Ricky drills Pillman to put him into the steel but Austin saves the tag with a suplex for two. Steamboat counters a body vice but his back is hurt pretty badly at this point. Pillman sets for his springboard clothesline but down goes Austin as Steamboat ducks. A double chop STILL can’t bring in Douglas but Ricky gets a belly to back to Pillman to put both of them down.

FINALLY the hot tag brings in Douglas and the beating is on. That’s good as the roof is now off. Dropkicks and clotheslines all around as Steamboat is amazingly up after about three seconds. Belly to belly out of nowhere drills Pillman but Austin (illegally) comes off the top (screw you Bill Watts) but it only gets two. Austin is finally like screw this and drills Shane with the belt for the DQ and a bunch of blood. Big heel beatdown follows and they leave with the stolen belts. They would get them for real in a few months.

Rating: B+. Fun match all the way around as they played the NWA formula to the letter here. You can often tell how good someone is when they can have great tag matches and this is a great example of that. They put on a great show here and the whole thing worked very well. Fun match and more or less the first of the Blondes great matches.

We see a clip of Vader winning the world title back from Ron Simmons and messing up his shoulder. Jesse brings out Race and Vader who say Vader is awesome. Simmons comes out and says he’s going to get his title back, which of course he never did. The fight is on with Simmons THROWING Vader down in a spinebuster. That was awesome looking.

Simmons goes after Race but Vader destroys Simmons and reinjures his shoulder with some shoulderbreakers on the floor. Sting and Rhodes come out for the save as it looks like it’ll be 3-2 in the main event.

Sting/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Barry Windham/Paul Orndorff

This is the Thundercage match which like I said is more or less the Cell without a top but it comes up at an angle so it’s more or less impossible to climb in and out. Sting vs. Vader is always awesome so this is going to be good. You can’t be disqualified but you have to tag in and out. Sting and Orndorff start us off. Ok so only Vader is chilling on the apron. Ah there it is as the former tag partners in Rhodes and Windham start us off.

Everyone not named Vader is in street clothes here. Off to Sting vs. Vader which is one of those feuds that always worked very well. Sting hammers away and the Splash hits in the corner but Vader doesn’t go down. Sting pounds him down into the corner and the fans are WAY into it. Everyone but Dustin comes in as he more or less lets Sting fight everyone off on his own.

The numbers catch up with Sting though as Vader goes up and half kills Sting with a shoulder block. A splash misses though and Sting sends him to the floor. Is Dustin allergic to HELPING HIS PARTNER or something? Off to Orndorff who hammers away on Sting. Windham comes in now as Rhodes has been totally worthless in this. Vader gets a corner splash on Sting who might have been in there seven minutes straight now or so.

FINALLY Dustin comes in and since he’s a cowboy he can beat up anyone. And here’s Cactus Jack with bolt cutters to break in and hit every heel in sight with a boot. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a face turn. Orndorff goes for the Piledriver on Dustin but gets popped by said boot and Cactus falls on him for the pin. Sting’s music plays for some reason.

Rating: C+. The cage here meant a grand total of nothing. They beat Sting up pretty well but Dustin did nothing for the most part. Not a bad match and the crowd was way into it, but dude the whole cage aspect was completely pointless here. It set up Sting vs. Vader….somehow and I guess advances Jack vs. Orndorff which someone thought was a good idea. Anyway not bad but kind of a head scratcher.

Cactus says he’s in over his head but not as much as Orndorff is. He’s getting into that zone of his on the mic here.

Overall Rating: B. This was light years ahead of what I was expecting. You can kind of see how odd it is in the main event as Sting vs. Vader were about to feud or were feuding I guess but it was still pretty confusing. The NWA was clearly getting on their nerves here and when Flair came back the NWA’s days were numbered. That being said, this wasn’t horrible at all but it was a bit confusing and odd at times. Still though, good wrestling overrides that so definitely a good show.

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We pretty much have a good idea of what the upper half of Mania looks like at this point.

Raw World Title: Jericho vs. Punk
Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Bryan
Undertaker vs. HHH III
Cena vs. Rock

My take:

I’m worried about this year’s show.  Other than Jericho vs. Punk and maybe Rock vs. Cena, is there any real drama in most of those matches?  The Streak will not end, Sheamus looks pretty much like a lock to win the title, and I’d be pretty surprised if Rock didn’t tap to Cena to end the show.

What do you think of these so far? What do you thing the rest of the card is going to look like?

Elimination Chamber 2012
Date: February 19, 2012
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

This is the final stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, or the beginning of the road, depending on how you look at it. The even money would seem to be on both of the champions retaining here but you can never be sure. I mean, Santino is scheduled to be in this match so how sure can you be? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would imagine it is.

The Chamber is lowered.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they’re not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.

Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that’s just speculation. Here’s the first pod opening and it’s…..a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.

Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we’re told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.

Dolph can’t cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It’s R-Truth who works on the pink one. He’s no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he’s not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy’s ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.

Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.

Here’s Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn’t you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.

Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk’s eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.

Punk’s arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he’s alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can’t pin Miz.

Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he’s unconscious. The referees say he’s done and say he’s not responsive. I’m REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.

Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn’t running in as a surprise since it’s over.

Rating: C+. The Chamber is one of those matches that gets an automatic higher grade to start. This was one of the weaker ones I can remember. For me the problem is that the main feud in this, Jericho and Punk, has no heat on it and there’s zero reason for this to be in the Chamber. They were the only two that had a chance in this but their feud has just begun with nothing but a run-in by Jericho, a promo and some staring. That’s the problem that these calendar based PPVs present and that looks like how the future will be.

We recap Santino getting his spot in the Chamber.

Santino drinks Raw eggs to Eugene’s music and with a towel that looks like it has the All That logo on it.

Remember those overly long videos on Rock and Cena? Here’s another one, this time on Cena’s training regimen and the gym he goes to. Some developmental guys work out there. This one wastes four minutes of PPV time.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

Santino punches some meat.

Jericho can’t talk.

Here’s Ace for his big announcement. He’s the Raw interim GM and he’s heard complaints about Smackdown’s GM Teddy Long. And never mind as here’s Alberto Del Rio! He says Teddy is a dog and likes to play favorites. Alberto wants Ace to be permanent Raw GM and the GM of Smackdown too. That brings out Henry who Cole thought was suspended (wasn’t he on Smackdown this week?).

Henry thinks Teddy is a bully who physically assaulted him. He supports the idea of Ace as permanent GM of both shows. Here’s Christian in a hat. Christian says that Teddy has been negligent and Smackdown is an unsafe working environment. He endorses Ace for GM as well. Ace has a picture taken of all four of them and then a second one. Now one with Otunga in it as well. And that’s that.

Santino runs some steps.

The Chamber is lowered. As in the ambulance match is main eventing ELIMINATION CHAMBER instead of an ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Big Show says he has to win tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Here’s Sheamus post match who takes Bryan out.

Time for unfunny comedy with Natalya. Cheese is present. Horny says that jack cheese is his favorite. Jack Swagger gets a cameo with Vickie, prompting a cottage cheese line. Justin Gabriel gets in Jack’s face so Teddy makes our filler match. Jack says that one man should run both shows. Teddy agrees but says it should be him. The match is for the title.

Buy Rock’s new DVD!

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Please change the title. Swagger controls to start and hits the Vader Bomb for no cover. Gabriel gets in some basic offense but Swagger grabs the ankle lock and wins by submission at 3:00. Of all the matches I’ve ever seen added to a PPV to fill in time, this was one of them.

Undertaker will be on Raw tomorrow.

We recap Cena vs. Kane. Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder then makes Cena make out with a hot woman to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Conclusion? Ambulance match, duh.

John Cena vs. Kane

You win by putting your opponent in the ambulance and having it driven out of the arena. You know Walt Disney was an ambulance driver in World War I when he was about 14. True story. Kane’s broken leg by Henry has been changed into a self imposed exile. Ok then. Cena charges to start and they head to the floor. They fight by the ambulance and use some of the stuff inside it as well.

Back to the ring and Kane goes into the steps but takes over anyway. Kane hits the side slam but Cena ducks the clothesline. He hits some of his signature stuff but the AA is countered into a smother. Cena goes down and is out cold so Kane throws him to the floor. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair. Well at least he’s making sure Cena is comfortable.

Cena escapes the chair and they fight to the ambulance again. Kane gets slammed into the vehicle and put into the chair. Cena rolls the chair into some production stuff. They fight into the tech area and Cena goes all beast mode. He asks Booker if this gets him a spot in the Fave Five and rams the steps into Kane’s head. John sets up the steps and tries to AA Kane through the table but Kane reverses into a chokeslam through it instead.

Kane goes up to the ambulance and gets a stretcher on wheels. Kane gets him in the ambulance but can’t close the second door. Cena kicks it into Kane’s face and they fight to the cab of the ambulance. John climbs onto the roof of the cab and then on top of the ambulance. They slug it out up there and Cena AA’s Kane off the ambulance into a conveniently placed area we can’t see. At least you couldn’t see the crash pad. He puts Kane in, closes the doors and it’s over at 21:21.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it wasn’t great at all. Why this finished the show rather than one of the title matches is beyond me, unless something changes after the match. Cena winning was obvious and that’s fine. At least it ends this horrible storyline for good (in theory).

Overall Rating: D. Let’s see. The namesake match didn’t main event the show, the world titles didn’t change, the presumptive Mania matches are exactly what we thought they would be, and Cena wins again. Why exactly did this show exist again? I really didn’t like this one at all and it feels like WWE is being dragged into Mania instead of hitting it head on. They really need to crank things up before the PPV because in my eyes, what they’re doing heading into it isn’t working.

Results
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth – Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka – Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella – Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane – Cena put Kane in the ambulance

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Bryan won, basically making the whole PPV pretty pointless. Sheamus came out post match and laid out Bryan, basically confirming their Mania match.

Thoughts on this?

And they wonder why people think they’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Is there some law saying SD can’t main event a PPV?

Punk won the Raw Chamber match, last eliminating Miz. Jericho was knocked out of the cage and “unconscious.” You know, seven days after Sorensen had his neck broken. Not sure I’m ok with that. I’d assume it’s Jericho vs. Punk at Mania.

Thoughts on this?

All-American Wrestling
Date: February 24, 1985
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura

This is another one of those shows that I have a fair few episodes of from this era. This is one of WWF’s weekend shows and I think it ran on Sunday mornings. It was one of their bigger shows and it ran nationally. We’re about 5 weeks from Wrestlemania and this is the six days after the War To Settle The Score, so this is probably going to be talking about Hogan vs. Piper. Let’s get to it.

By the way, this is one of those shows that shows clips from everywhere so no location listed.

Terry Gibbs/Carl Fury vs. Junkyard Dog/Tony Atlas

Atlas and Gibbs start us off and Atlas easily breaks a full nelson. Both jobbers are easily thrown around and here’s JYD. He throws Fury around for a bit before turning it back over to Atlas. Gorilla press and a splash end this. On a level of squashes, this was pretty squashy.

Off to Gene in the Control Center who says what’s coming.

UPDATE! With Alfred Hayes!

This one is about the Lady’s Championship as Lelani Kai beat Wendi Richter recently. We get a clip of Moolah beating up Richter during a promo. Richter is going to use her return clause. That would be at Wrestlemania.

Pete Pompeii vs. The Spoiler

There’s no referee. Spoiler is a masked guy with Johnny V as his manager. Johnny is taking pictures during the match. This is in Ontario. It’s another squash with Pompeii getting in some small offense but nothing that makes any real difference. Spoiler wins with the Claw.

Lou Albano is freshly face and has been raising money with Cyndi Lauper for charity. However he wants to talk about his fifteenth team to be champions. He brings in Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham who he SWEARS is the best team they’ve ever seen.

Gene says this is our feature match.

Bret Hart vs. Rene Goulet

This is Bret’s MSG debut and he’s just a kid in black and red trunks. Bret takes him down to the mat with a headlock and then does the same with an armbar. Goulet gets in a knee to the ribs to break that up and hooks a bearhug. Goulet bites Bret a lot and shoves him onto the announce table. Now it’s a claw hold which Bret eventually breaks up. A slam gets two for Goulet.

Bret grabs a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Rene is your traditional pompous Frenchman and plays to the crowd as rudely as he could. Off to a chinlock and then the Claw again because once wasn’t enough. Bret gets knocked to the floor and Goulet poses on the ropes. Hart comes back in with a sunset flip that had the crowd very excited. Here’s Bret’s comeback with an atomic drop and abdominal stretch. There’s the backbreaker and a legdrop.

Goulet rams him into the corner and pulls out a foreign object from his tights. Bret grabs a sleeper (his finisher apparently, which Gene calls a Singapore Sleeper which is a new one on me) and it gets the win for Bret. Goulet still has the object (can you really call it foreign with him?) after the match.

Rating: D. Bret is one of the best ever but he needs more than this to work with. Goulet was really boring and was usually just there to put over young guys like Bret or Hillbilly Jim. When you use the same rest hold multiple times, you can usually tell that a guy isn’t anything special. Boring match but the fans liked Bret.

Time for the Pit!

The guests are Mr. Fuji and Jim Neidhart. That’s a unique pairing. Fuji says he’s sorry Muraco isn’t here tonight. Apparently Fuji is managing Neidhart. That must have been pretty short lived. Anvil introduces himself and Piper says he loves them. That’s it.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Aldo Marino/Tony Garea

Garea has seen better days. The evil foreigners (as opposed to the nice foreigners) do their singing and IRAN NUMBER ONE RUSSIA NUMBER ONE thing. Garea vs. Sheik starts things off. After about 50 seconds we get contact in the form of a Garea headlock. The fans are freaking over Garea hurting Sheik. Off to Aldo who keeps up the headlocking. Volkoff gets in a boot though and the bad guys take over. Belly to back suplex kills Marino and it’s off to Volkoff. He piledrives Marino and the gorilla press backbreaker ends this massacre.

Rating: D. Garea was so fun to watch back in the day but his prime was about five years before this. Not much to see here but it was a squash near the end of a show so there’s only so much criticism you can give it. Boring match and it was just barely long enough to rate, which is very pesky.

Fuji says he’s beautiful and successful. He and Muraco communicate with their minds. Muraco pops up and shouts BANZAI. He’s got the Asiatic Spike now. Muraco sounds high as a kite and says they’re both evil.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t say it’s good because they’re all over the place with this show. Literally as they were in about 4 different arenas. This is another in the pile of WWF shows that has a random assortment of matches, most of which aren’t any good. Bret’s debut in MSG is cool to see but other than that, not unless you’re a big fan of this time period.

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Clash of the Champions 21
Date: November 18, 1992
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Egads 1992 WCW. This is the stuff that nightmares are made of. After the summer ended and the NWA decided to take control of the company again because they wanted their 9 seconds in the sun again, things went way downhill in WCW because the big bad NWA decided they needed to reset everything because it was getting too good. They had set up a massive tag tournament to crown official tag champions and it was the sole focus of television for a long time. This is WCW after it because they had to restart everything. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just about the matches tonight. This looks bad.

We see the weigh-in for the battle of the sexes match later. This results in seeing Paulie in his underwear. Madusa and Dangerously fight of course.

Tony is with Bill Watts and I still hate him. Why couldn’t they just have a character rather than the actual boss in there?

Teddy is with Michael Hayes who introduce the show I guess. Oh ok there’s a bounty on Erik Watts and they want to get it. The Freebirds that is. In an unrelated note, Brian Pillman is hurt and is at ringside.

Yep there he is on crutches with a knee injury. He can’t fight Brad Armstrong who isn’t happy. Pillman beats him up with his crutches and is disqualified before the match starts. The match starts anyway and goes for thirty seconds with Pillman winning due to Armstrong being hurt. Pillman was turning heel if you didn’t get that.

We get a clip from Halloween Havoc where Dangerously went on a huge rant against Madusa because she was a woman and fired her in a semi-famous bit. Madusa kicked him in the face to wild cheering. We get workouts from both of them, including a funny bit where Paulie fights a jobber and punches him, turns around so Austin can hit him, and then pins him.

We also see a showdown between Dangerously and Madusa where Paul runs his mouth so much that the rest of the Dangerous Alliance leaves him and he makes Madusa cry. She goes off on him and he runs for his life. Hayes is with Heyman and apparently he’ll have an arm tied behind his back. This anti-women thing is great from Paul as you have to wonder how much was legit. Paul: the only sacrifice women make is when they’re 16 and in the back of their boyfriend’s car. WOW.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton vs. Kensuke Sasaki/Erik Watts

Ok so this is a bounty match. Watts is AWFUL and everyone hated him but they kept pushing him anyway because his daddy was the boss. They also gave him a big story with a bounty being on his head. Whoever hurts him gets $10,000 from Paulie. Eaton and Watts start us off.

Watts can’t do anything here as would be the case for his entire run. There’s one heck of a drinking game in there as you take a shot every time Watts does something that isn’t quite a wrestling move but was supposed to be one. You’ll die of alcohol poisoning in minutes. Anderson comes in and something tells me his thought process is “why do I have to deal with this garbage?”

Sasaki comes back in and is oddly enough a face here. That’s not something you see very often at all, at least outside of Japan. He’s not much better than Watts as he botches a monkey flip from Eaton. Sasaki is compact and very strong. I like that old school WCW ring skirt as it’s the first one I remember from when I was a kid.

Anderson might have a bad knee. He’s barely in there at all so maybe there’s something to it. Watts is back in now and he’s just bad. It’s not his fault mind you as he needed to be in some indy company for a few years just to get experience. He wasn’t ready for this exposure and his nerves made him a lot worse. Watts gets an STF on Eaton to end this.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad. When Kensuke Sasaki is the best guy on a team, you know something is bad. This was pretty weak for the vast majority. Wait…that would imply there was a good part and that certainly wasn’t the case here. Watts was just awful but like I said it’s not his fault. This was a bad match and it didn’t advance anything. Oh and Bobby Eaton and Arn Anderson, two of the best tag team wrestlers ever, had to job to these guys. That’s sad.

Teddy Long and his new protégé say that they’ll knock out Scotty Flamingo. It’s Johnny B Badd if you were wondering.

Flamingo is with his trainers, Vinnie Vegas (Kevin Nash before he meant anything) and Diamond Dallas Page, say that Flamingo is ready. Flamingo’s more famous name: Raven.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Scotty Flamingo

This is boxing with three two minute rounds. Why do we get so many boxing matches in wrestling companies? Why can’t one in ring competition be enough? Round one starts with Badd pounding the face of Flamingo. Keep in mind that Badd was a very legit amateur boxing champion so he knows what he’s doing here. Flamingo cheats with wrestling stuff when the Vegas Connection (the more famous guys’ tag team name) and Badd just destroys him with basic boxing stuff, including a BIG knockdown to end it.

Between rounds the heels fill Flamingo’s glove with water which makes it more or less lethal. Flamingo can barely get up to fight as he’s been destroyed so far. Badd peppers him a bit more until Page gets up on the apron and Flamingo gets one big right hand with the loaded glove and that’s enough for Flamingo to win. No rating due to it being a big comedy angle.

We preview Starrcade 92 which is another Battlebowl. They air a clip from last year’s show where Sting got his head handed to him for the whole night before pulling out the miracle win. When I say clip I mean about five minutes worth. The show is on Monday too.

They do the first match’s draw here, and it’s Cactus Jack/Johnny B. Badd vs. Dan Spivey/Heavy Metal Van Hammer. What a coincidence that Jack and Hammer are feuding at this point too.

There’s a wrestling rap album. As in an album of rap songs about wrestling. Oh dear.

Cactus Jack/Tony Atlas/Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons/Too Cold Scorpio

Ok so Simmons is world champion and is feuding with various guys because they wanted to make Simmons seem like he had something to do while making the WCW Title a midcard title so that guys like Great Muta and Chono, NWA guys, could be the REAL focus of the show. Simmons vs. Barbarian was the WCW Title match at Halloween Havoc. Let that sink in for a bit.

This is Scorpio’s debut and the good guys sprint to the ring with the announcers having no clue what Scorpio’s name is. This match with having only one white guy in it is Watts’ attempt to make the company believe he’s not racist and of course he made the black dude worthless and the title a joke until Sting saved it. Jack is legit injured here so he was a manager for the most part. Somehow injured he was miles ahead of the guys he managed.

Atlas looks like a freaking tank here. There was supposed to be some guy named Robbie Walker as Simmons’ partner. Considering this is Scorpio when he was young and in awesome shape and totally mind blowing, I think he upgraded. Yeah he’s 27 here as is Jack so both guys are young and just awesome. Scorpio misses a moonsault completely and kicks Jack in the head so he has to tag.

Jack and Simmons now as Barbarian was in there all of 10 seconds. Remember: Jack is badly hurt here but he’s the only credible guy on his team. Ah, it’s the #1 contender: Barbarian. Yes that Barbarian. It’s weird hearing them constantly saying “Simmons’ partner” because they really don’t know who he is. Atlas comes in and is just old. He’s still ripped though so that helps.

Barbarian beats on him a bit but then Jack has to be the one to get kicked in the head. Hot tag to Scorpio who blows the roof off the place. He was SO far ahead of his time it’s not even funny. Barbarian misses the big boot to Simmons which kills Atlas and with Simmons holding the other two off, Scorpio unleashes the 450 which is more or less the national debut of it and you can’t hear Ross’ commentary (which is more or less him losing his mind) over how loud the fans are. Naturally that gets the pin.

Rating: B-. This was to do two things: further the Simmons vs. Jack’s team feud and the bigger one: make 2 Cold Scorpio look AMAZING. To say the very least regarding the second one, JACKPOT. The fans loved him as more or less he was a 240 pound Rey Mysterio and keeping in mind this is 1992, this was completely revolutionary stuff. Awesome debut and everything worked like a charm. Match sucked when him or Jack wasn’t in there though.

Jesse talks to the newcomer and Simmons, who says he’s ready to overcome the odds. He introduces his new partner who says he’s ready for anything.

Tom Zenk and Johnny Gunn go into a clothing store and women mob them. This could not be any more pointless.

A clean shaven Rick Rude says he’s going to even the score with Sting. This is part of the King of Cable tournament which was apparently over the stuff the ropes were made of. Such a shame they didn’t tell us that until after the finals.

We talk about the World’s Strongest Arm Contest, which was a legit arm wrestling tournament. Van Hammer wound up winning the thing and that’s about it.

Dangerously says he’s a man.

Paul E. Dangerously vs. Madusa

This has a five minute time limit and Hayes is with Dangerously. He’s billed as the Psycho Yuppie. He has an arm behind his back too. A person with blonde hair and covered from head to toe runs in and Paul shatters his phone over her head. And as anyone could tell, it’s not Madusa but rather a jobber that was paid off I guess. Paul figures out what’s going on and you would think the Psycho theme started playing or something as they’re terrified.

She comes in and beats the tar out of Paul. This was her only thing she ever really did but it was a far cry from Chyna who was actually interesting when she did these things. All Madusa so far as would be expected. They go back into the locker room as Paul tries to run but she carries him back on his shoulder. Their chests are the same size apparently. Who is that good for actually?

Hayes trips up Madusa with two minutes to go so Dangerously can get in some cheap shots. He goes up top and hits a double axe but she’s up almost immediately. Let the pain be distributed as it’s all Madusa of course. And there go his clothes. He runs away for the last fifteen seconds or so. He was never seen in WCW again. Not going to rate this as it wasn’t a match and was a lot of just comedy stuff that went nowhere. Also, is there ANY reason to not have Madusa beat him here?

We look at the King of Cable tournament, which apparently IS about cable TV. I hate this company at times. The semi finals are Dustin vs. Vader and Sting vs. Rude, which is tonight.

Vader and Race reaffirm Vader’s awesomeness.

King of Cable Semi-Finals: Sting vs. Rick Rude

Larry Zbyszko, Hiro Matsuda and Ole Anderson are judges in case this goes to a 20 minute tie. Rude is US Champion at this point. He looks so odd clean shaven. Rude attacks early with lots of neck stuff to set up the Rude Awakening later on. Sting works on the ribs which I guess can work as they’re related to the back for the Scorpion. Far more Sting than Rude here.

Jesse talks about the thought process here as Sting needs to impress the judges while also trying to get a win which is rather true. The idea here is that Sting is trying to keep the advantage and just ride the time out which isn’t really a face thing to do but it’s a way to win.

Sting, like the idiot that he is, goes for the Stinger Splash against the railing and as usual it MISSES COMPLETELY. Why would you go for a move that has never hit once? Even Flair has gotten his shot off the top to work once or twice. Rude takes over and hooks a camel clutch at the halfway point. Jesse says Sting is ahead so far. He was usually honest which is rather refreshing.

Things slow WAY down with Rude on offense. Lots of chinlocks and lots of big heavy strikes. He was never a power man but he hit really hard. Rude tries to cannonball down onto Sting but misses and here comes Sting again. Under five minutes to go and it’s still Rude in control with a bearhug now. Less than four minutes left now as you have to go with Rude at this point.

I love how they’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is going to a draw. Everyone knew it but they don’t even bother suggesting that someone could get a clean win. Sting is in big trouble here with two minutes to go. He slams Rude off the top though and here comes the painted one. A cross body off the top gets two. Sting gets the Splash and goes for the Deathlock as time expires. The judges give it to Sting 2-1 with Larry voting for Rude. I’m not sure on that but I can see it I guess.

Rating: B. This was very different as they had to mess around with the style out there due to the judge aspect but it worked very well I thought. These two feuded for well over a year and it was no different here with it being pretty solid. This is another great example of psychology as they had to try to impress three people and survive. This worked very well I thought with Sting and Rude always meshing very well.

Tag Titles: Ricky Steamboat/Shane Douglas vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windhams

Don’t worry about which titles these are. More or less they’re the WCW Titles and that’s all we’re going to go into it. Shane vs. Dustin to start us off. Notice here that the NWA stuff is going on last and is the featured contest even though it has less star power and is a lower match on the card overall but goes last anyway because it’s the NWA part. Most fans and definitely the majority of casual fans wanted to see Sting and have no reason to watch now. That’s bad booking and can probably be blamed on the NWA.

This is going to go rather slow as it has some time to work with for once. Oh Barry and Dustin are champions here if I forgot to mention that. Steamboat vs. Windham now in a battle of a future vs. former world champion. They go to the floor and Barry is being a bit more aggressive than you would expect from a face champion. Sweet goodness Steamboat can throw a chop.

Shane looks so out of place here but he’s holding his own here for the most part. I was right about the time prediction as this is going rather slowly. That doesn’t mean it’s bad as we’re getting some nice teamwork here. Barry vs. Shane at the moment. Shane misses a cross body and eats rope so it’s off to Dustin who wrestles away. Dustin and Ricky don’t like to strike that much.

Lots of tags by the champions. They work on the arm and tag in and out probably five times in a minute. The idea there: don’t let one guy get winded at all. Smart tag wrestling there. All champions here as Shane is in a lot of trouble. This is definitely an old school style going on here and it’s a bit hard to sit through in long stretches. Hey it’s the NWA though so it has to be great right???

Off to Steamboat finally and we get an issue as Dustin accidentally headbutts Steamboat in the groin on a leapfrog but Dustin won’t cover him because it wasn’t fair. Windham is TICKED about this so he tags himself in and covers for two. Atomic drops and a lariat get two but Dustin breaks up his partner’s cover because he’s hurt. He even pops Windham and Barry turns into Shane’s belly to belly to switch the titles.

Rating: B-. This one is hard to call as it’s technically great but at the same time it’s rather boring at times. The ending helps it a lot as there’s a lot of thinking here as you have the titles change because one guy doesn’t want to cheat to win and one says win at all costs. This was a good match but it’s one of those matches that isn’t for everyone at all.

Dustin leaves so Barry yells for him which is kind of funny sounding. Barry pays him back for the punch and hits a jumping DDT to leave Dustin laying. Oh and a superplex to.

After the last break Jesse is with the new champions but Barry runs in to crack their heads with a chair.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ok. I wasn’t sure what to expect here and while there are a ton of issues with it, it still comes off pretty well. The idea was to put a focus on wrestling but the problem was that the stories absolutely sucked for the most part. That’s fine, but at the same time you need to have something to work with. This was a bad era for the company, but mainly because the NWA wouldn’t get out of the way. Not a bad show but certainly not for everyone.

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