Monday Night Raw – July 1, 2002 – Worst Ladder Match Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 1, 2002
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators; Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to something other than TNA for a nice change of pace. This is a request and it’s probably due to just the main event. This is the show where somehow midcarder Jeff Hardy is getting a world title shot in a ladder match against the Undertaker. Other than that, this is a very generic looking card. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Vince talked about Ruthless Aggression. Vince wanted to know who had it, and that man would be the new King of the Ring: Brock Lesnar. Van Dam, the guy that Brock beat in the finals, disrupted the coronation and beat Lesnar up. Kind of. They had a rematch later that night for the IC Title which RVD had won with the Five Star but Heyman caused a DQ. Brock powerbombed him through a table to end the show.

I forgot how much I liked Across The Nation as a theme song.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Paul says this will be the summer of Lesnar, not the summer of RVD. Heyman talks about how Lesnar has intelligence and is inspired by Kurt Angle. Angle issued a challenge to any rookie to debut against Angle (some guy named Cena debuted). Heyman says Brock is issuing a challenge to anyone.

Brock Lesnar vs. Ric Flair

Not bad for an opener. They do also cover themselves here by saying that this open contract was issued at 1pm this afternoon so it’s not completely illogical to have Flair ready to go. Flair yells at I think Heyman about interfering in a match that cost Flair control of Raw. Lesnar says Flair is in the wrong place with the wrong guy in the wrong year. Flair gets run over to start but manages a chop to slow him down.

More chops and Flair tries to get Brock to chase him. Knee drop gets two for Ric but he gets launched over the referee with ease. Brock takes over and there’s the Flair Flop in the corner. Lesnar works on the back and they go to the floor for a little bit. He goes shoulder first into the post back in the ring and Flair has an opening. Flair chops away but runs into a bearhug. A pretty weak spinebuster (no snap or pop at all. Maybe some crackle though) takes Flair down but he hits a low blow. Figure Four goes on but here’s Heyman for the distraction. Flair goes for him and walks into an F5 for the pin.

Rating: D. Apparently the bad booking of monsters isn’t a new thing. Lesnar is supposed to be an animal, yet it took Heyman to save him from Ric Flair? Yes, Flair is a veteran but that doesn’t mean Lesnar shouldn’t kill him. Would you see a 53 year old boxer destroying a 25 year old phenom? I didn’t think so. Not a fan of this at all. The veteran will possibly have better technique and be more polished, but at the end of the day he isn’t going to be able to take a right cross to the chin.

Coach hits on Jackie Gayda in a creepy way, talking about the Divas Undressed competition. Jackie gets annoyed with him, blaming her last tag team loss on Molly. Molly comes up and says Jackie should follow a role model. They brawl into the arena and Molly tries to kill her with a pipe. Time for a match no one is interested in!

Molly Holly vs. Jackie Gayda

Molly hits a missile dropkick and beats Jackie into the ground. I don’t think this is an actual match. There was no bell or referee or pin. Trish comes out to save Jackie and takes Molly’s pants off. I clearly get the point in this. Don’t you?

Christopher Nowitski has challenged Bradshaw to a match that isn’t for JBL’s Hardcore Title.

Christopher Nowitski vs. Bradshaw

King has Chris’ Harvard ring. JBL kicks his head off to start and it’s a beating. Jibbles goes for weapons but it’s not hardcore. In the confusion, Chris hits Bradshaw with a cowbell and pins him. This didn’t even last a minute.

Regal is watching on a monitor in what is apparently Heyman and Lesnar’s dressing room. RVD arrives limping and wants to know where Brock and Paul are. Regal says be on time next time and they’ll have a match later apparently.

Jeff is in the back and is offended to hear he’s the underdog tonight. He has to climb a ladder and he runs around in the back climbing various things. We really should have seen the signs back then.

Booker and Goldust are in the back and Goldust is dressed as Darth Vader for no apparent reason. Booker doesn’t like Star Wars but apparently he likes handling a Lightsaber. “Obi-Book-Kenobi.” WHAT AM I WATCHING???

Vince gives the fairly newly back Eddie a pep talk before he teams up with Benoit later. Vince asks what the translation is for Ruthless Aggression in Spanish. “Eddie Guerrero holmes!” Benoit is in his first match back in like a year after his neck injury.

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Van Dam is IC Champion and Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal takes him to the match very quickly and counters the stepover kick. Out to the floor after a suplex and a Knee Trembler gets two back in the ring. Regal keeps it on the mat and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap. Rob manages to grab a monkey flip and hammers away in various corners. Spinning cross body gets two as does Rolling Thunder. Butterfly suplex is countered and the Five Star ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh not bad and definitely the best of the night. They were starting to push Van Dam at this point and he got some world title shots later in the year, but then the company decided to go with Shawn as champion and then HHH forever instead of Van Dam. RVD got the title in like 4 years, but then proved that he couldn’t handle it so that’s all well and good.

Van Dam calls out Lesnar but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says we’ll do it at Vengeance. Ok then.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit

This was set up last year with Benoit returning and putting a wicked Crossface on Bubba. Eddie vs. Spike gets us going and Eddie controls as he should. Bubba comes in and hammers on Guerrero, only to walk into a dropkick. Eddie does a fairly unnecessary roll but it brings in Benoit. Benoit goes all psycho with the chops in the corner and Bubba is in trouble.

Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for two but the Canadian hits a German on the American to take over again. I love watching people throw German suplexes. Bubba gets a neckbreaker and it’s off to Spike. Spike grabs a rolling cradle for two. He tries another but Benoit grabs a Crossface to draw in Bubba. The heels make an illegal switch and Eddie pounds on Spike for a bit. Spike goes into the post but there’s heel miscommunication and the Dudley Dog.

Both guys are down and there’s the hot tag to Bubba. They were pushing him as kind of an upper midcard guy around this time, possibly as a world title challenger when HHH got the Raw title. Believe that playa. Sorry I had to do it. What’s Up to Eddie and Bubba orders a table. There’s one set up on the floor but Benoit pops Spike. Eddie hits a nice springboard rana to take Bubba out but the Frog Splash misses. Bubba Bomb ends Eddie.

Rating: C+. Not exactly the ending I was expecting but it was a good tag match which is what this show needed. The Dudleys were still an odd pairing as while Spike is indeed a Dudley, he’s not the Dudley that you think of as part of the Dudley Boys. Also, kind of an odd return for Benoit wouldn’t you think?

Spike goes through the table and Benoit hooks a Crossface on Bubba for a good while.

Rey Mysterio is coming. The music almost sounds like it’s from Halloween.

DarthDust comes up to Big Show and it’s just weird. Goldust says he’s Show’s father and breaks a plastic sword over his head. Goldie goes to leave but walks into Nash who kills him. It was NWO time if I didn’t mention this.

Video on Hardy’s history in ladder matches.

Taker says he’s going after Angle and then Rock. He’s not worried about Hardy at all.

Show finds X-Pac unconscious in the back. Make your own jokes.

Booker T vs. Big Show

This was supposed to be a tag match but take what you can get. Booker had been kicked out of the NWO and was on a revenge tour…kind of. The NWO would be gone in two weeks anyway so it doesn’t really matter. The mashup of Show’s music with the NWO theme doesn’t work at all. Show and his one piece women’s swimsuit of doom takes over quickly on Booker with the size and power game.

There’s a suplex for two. This was a period for Big Show where he was getting way too big and way too slow and it hurt his game really badly. Bearhug now and Booker is in trouble. Sidewalk slam gets two. They go to the floor and Show keeps up the dominance. Show gets the steps but they get kicked into his face. We’ll ignore the laws of physics that would suggest that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for the steps to hit him in the face from that angle but whatever. Booker wins by countout.

Rating: F+. This was nothing and the ending sucked. Booker got in one move other than the kick to knock the steps into Show’s face. Other than the tag match, all of these matches have just sucked, mainly due to them being short. The NWO never worked in the WWF but they kept shoving them down our throats until WWE woke up and stopped it in a few weeks.

Nash and Michaels, also in the NWO, punch Big Show. Make that just Nash actually. Michaels says they’re after Booker, not each other. Shawn says the NWO is a family and they’ll be a more complete family when the injured member returns. That would be HHH and he never would join. After a LONG speech, he kicks Show in the face and they leave.

Vince tells Taker how awesome he is. Taker vs. Rock is announced for Vengeance.

Matt wishes Jeff good luck and Lita pops in in a neckbrace to wish him good luck too. Jeff nearly destroys the door and screams a lot as he leaves. We really should have seen the signs coming.

Undisputed WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

So the idea here is that Jeff has been destroyed by Taker every time they’ve fought but Taker has never been in a ladder match so Jeff should have a chance. Taker goes for the ladder but gets it kicked into his face. Jeff gets a chair shot in but Taker catches the ladder shot from Jeff. They haven’t been in the ring together yet. Taker hammers on Jeff for awhile but gets sent into a ladder to slow things down.

Jeff launches himself at the ladder with Taker under it, probably hurting himself even worse. They get into the ring and Jeff is down again. Taker gets a big shot with the ladder to knock Jeff into the table. He has the match won but instead Taker climbs down and pounds on Jeff even more. This is SO slow. Jeff tries to fire in some shots and goes off on Taker but a single punch slows him down.

Taker hits a running clothesline in the corner. This is the least interesting ladder match I’ve ever seen. Taker misses a charge in the corner and slams into the ladder….but is back on offense about 4 seconds later. Whisper in the Wind takes Taker down but the champ is back up and hitting a big boot before Jeff gets in another shot. A low blow puts Taker down as does a flip dive to the floor.

Jeff gets the big ladder but Taker stops him with a Last Ride attempt. The WORST RANA EVER sends Taker to the floor as a counter and Jeff climbs. He touches the gold but Taker makes the save. Taker goes for the Last Ride again but Jeff cracks him with a chair twice and climbs very slowly. And never mind as Undertaker cracks him with the chair and “chokeslams” (more like choke-shoves) him off to retain.

Rating: D. I remember this a lot more fondly than it was here. The ending is good and is some decent drama, but the rest of it is just SO slow and uninteresting. Jeff never had a chance but Taker did nothing but punch the rest of the time and that doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Very weak match but a good ending.

Jeff gets back up so Taker goes back in and hits a Last Ride. Taker rides off but Jeff gets the mic and says he’s still standing. Taker comes back to hit him but stops and raises Jeff’s hand, supposedly turning face in the process. I don’t remember that coming for a few more weeks but allegedly it was here.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the second hour was much better but the first one was just horrible. The problem here is that it felt like a throwaway show but they didn’t want it to be if that made sense. It set up some stuff for Vengeance but not a lot happened here. Oh and Thursday is the show where Angle made the Undisputed Title disputed, which I’ve already reviewed actually.

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Final Resolution 2007 – Christy Hemme Got More Time Than The World Title Match

Final Resolution 2007
Date: January 14, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We finish this trio of TNA as well as 2007 with this. This is a double main event for the most part with Sting defending in a triple threat match against Christian and Abyss as well as an iron man match with Angle vs. Joe in what was supposed to be their final showdown, with the winner getting a title shot next month. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about those matches, with audio from Muhammad Ali. Appropriately enough, this is being written on his 70th birthday. The iron man match gets way more focus than the title match, and I don’t think Christian was even in this.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

Last man standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. AJ keeps stealing wins over Rhyno so somehow that means last man standing. Rhyno starts off fast and hammers away. This might be the PPV debut of AJ’s long tights. Rhyno busts out a tope and AJ is reeling early. AJ does his drop down into the dropkick spot. The fans seem split here. Rhyno Hulks Up and beats AJ back again.

AJ pulls the tape off his wrist but as Hebner throws it out, Rhyno takes a low blow. A springboard splash gets a pin and an eight count. AJ pounds him down but a charge results in Rhyno picking him up and dropping him onto the top rope snake eyes style. Out to the floor and AJ hits a flip dive. Quickly back into the ring and AJ gets two. AJ is the heel here but he’s still more popular than Rhyno.

AJ comes off the ropes with a forearm but jumps into a spinebuster for the pin. It only gets about seven. They circle each other and slug it out. Rhyno takes over and loads up a superplex but walks into a sunset bomb for two. TKO gets two for Rhyno. It’s Table Time but Styles manages to crotch Rhyno on the edge of it. Back in the springboard forearm only gets two.

Powerbomb puts AJ down but Rhyno walks into a Pele to put him down. A Gore out of nowhere kills AJ but Rhyno doesn’t cover. Another Gore kills him even deader for the pin and the ten count. That second one looked SICK. AJ could have gotten up but sat down to avoid a third Gore.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the going back and forth came a little too fast. You would see them go down and then be up seconds later. Also they didn’t get particularly violent at all, which makes me question why they went with this as the opener. It was good but you would expect more when you hear the words last man standing.

Rhyno says he’ll take Styles out tonight and chases AJ to the back.

West and Tenay run down the card.

Rhyno and AJ pop up on the stage and Rhyno piledrives him. He loads up a table and sets it up in front of the entrance tunnel but AJ avoids the shot and Rhyno crashes through the table.

We recap the X Title match. Lynn is the old guard, Daniels is champion and Sabin is the young gun. Past, present and future. A lot of these soundbytes from Lynn are the same ones they used for his singles match with Sabin next month.

Jerry Lynn says he’s not old and he’ll teach both of them something tonight.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is champion here. I’ll give Lynn this: he does look good for a 43 year old man. Sabin gets beaten down by both guys so he hides on the ramp. Well as well as you can hide by being a pale professional wrestler in trunks hiding on a dark ramp. Back in and we get a triple crisscross. Ok that did look cool. Daniels takes over and knocks both of them down including knocking Sabin to the floor.

The champ puts a figure four headscissors onto Lynn on the middle rope, leaning out of the ring. Sabin uses the opening to kick his head off and takes over on Lynn. From what I understand, this is Lynn’s first match in TNA in about a year and a half. And someone he’s technically #1 contender to a title. Right. Anyway Daniels comes back in and goes Koji Clutch on Lynn but Sabin breaks it up.

Lynn gets sent to the floor as Sabin fires off some kicks to Daniels for two. He hooks a nerve hold on the champ and keeps Lynn on the floor once again. The fans say Lynn still has it despite him getting beaten up the whole time in this match so far. Daniels is put in the Tree of Woe and a hesitation dropkick gets two. All three back in now and the fans are way behind Jerry.

Speaking of Jerry he goes up and hits a foot into the chest of both guys. Headscissors all around and the fans are really into Lynn. He sets for the Cradle Piledriver but Daniels hits an Sto to stop him. Everyone is down again and Lynn goes after Sabin. Lynn sets for a bulldog off the middle rope but Daniels runs up and we get a low level Tower of Doom. BME gets two on Sabin. Sitout powerbomb gets the same for Lynn. Lynn and Daniels go at it and Lynn hits an inverted Emerald Flowsion for two. Cradle Piledriver puts Daniels down but Sabin grabs a rollup and tights on Lynn to win the title.

Rating: B-. I usually don’t like triple threats but this one worked very well for me. All three guys were moving out there and Daniels was doing enough other stuff to keep him from getting on my nerves. They flew around enough and the ending was hot enough to make it work and I liked this match a good deal.

Kevin Nash says that he’s looking forward to the PCS Finals and Bob Backlund, who had been referenced for months, debuts as the head judge for the contest. Nash talks about going up and down the road with Backlund and Backlund has no idea what he’s talking about. You can hear David Penzer in the background giving the crowd NFL scores. Backlund asks if the finalists have been tortured well enough. Nash talks about playing musical chairs with them and Backlund isn’t sure what to make of it. Nash leaves and Young pops up, talks about going shopping with JB, and says he voted for Backlund in 1995.

We recap the Paparazzi Championship Series. Basically it was NXT before NXT existed, with five lower midcard guys competing in things like limbo, pogo sticking, high card draw and so on. This was run by Kevin Nash who cracked jokes the entire time. Bob Backlund was mentioned about every five minutes. For the life of me, this might be the most out there storyline I’ve ever seen in TNA. Apparently it was to bring out the characters of the X-Division. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Paparazzi Championship Series Finals: Alex Shelley vs. Austin Starr

It’s a ten minute time limit and if there’s no winner in that time, we go to the judges. The judges are Samolian Joe (from Madagascar Championship Wrestling, very white), Big Fat Oily Guy and Bob Backlund. Oily Guy is in thong. They exchange wristlocks to start and then go to the mat. Nash claims 39,000 people saw him beat Backlund in MSG. He’s joking and got a chuckle out of me, talking about the hour long match they had.

Starr Hulks Up (Nash’s term) but Shelley takes his head off with a clothesline. The Oily Guy keeps oiling up. Sliced Bread is countered as they haven’t done much here. Shelley is sent to the floor and Starr hits a corkscrew plancha to take him out. Starr goes over and gives himself points on Samolian Joe’s card. Suicide Dive takes Starr out. They seem to only care about the judges instead of getting a pin.

Back in a Lionsault gets two for Shelley. Starr gets some water and spits it in Shelley’s face but can’t take over. We’re over seven minutes into this so you would expect them to pick it up. Sliced Bread is countered again and Starr goes up for the 450. Shelley crotches him though and hits a Backstabber to take over. Slingshot DDT gets two. We’re told there’s a minute left. Sliced Bread is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always thought that would make a great finisher) and Starr hooks a camel clutch with 15 seconds left. The time runs out with no submission.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was clear that they were going to the judges for a comedy ending to it. The match wasn’t bad though so I can’t really complain about it. The ten minute time limit made it really clear but it wasn’t a bad match or anything. I could have done without the Oily Guy though.

The fans are behind Shelley. The judges hand in their cards. Samolian Joe says Starr, Oily Guy says Shelley, Backlund says this is about conditioning and gives Starr’s a score of 92 and Shelley’s a score of 95. In takedowns, Starr gets an 82 and Shelley gets a 95. Something about positions gets Starr a 90 and Alex Shelton gets an 85. As for pinning combinations, Starr gets a 10 and Shelley gets a 9. Proper match building: Starr 25, Shelley 25, and that’s the final verdict: a draw.

Nash calls for overtime and they speed things up. Shelley gets a nifty rollup for the pin after about 20 seconds. His prize: a bowling trophy. It made little to no sense, but it was very entertaining. Starr goes off on Nash and the other X guys that came out to celebrate hold him back. Starr says this isn’t why he’s here and he only respects Senshi. Senshi doesn’t go anywhere so Starr slaps him. Senshi takes him down and Starr bails. He shoves all of the judges and Backlund puts him in the crossface chickenwing.

We recap the Petey Williams vs. James Storm match. Storm turned heel last month and hit Harris in the face with a beer bottle, blinding him. Williams came out to stand up for Harris and let’s have a match as a result.

James Storm vs. Petey Williams

Gail is with Storm here but isn’t thrilled with it. Petey speeds things up to start and a dropkick sends Storm to the floor. A dive misses though and Storm takes over. The fans want the Cowboy dead. Powerbomb sets up the Eye of the Storm for two. Petey grabs a DDT out of nowhere to put both guys down. I’m a bit distracted by Gail’s awesome rack so I apologize for the lack of play by play here. Storm blocks the Destroyer and hits a reverse DDT to take over again. Petey gets in a shot but his sunset flip is countered. Slingshot Codebreaker gets two. Last Call misses but Storm rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty worthless match here that belonged on Impact. Williams was kind of thrown in there and fit to an extent but he could have been anyone for the most part. It was short though so I can’t really complain about it that much. Plus Gail looked great in a skirt and bra.

Post match Williams gets cuffed to the ropes as Gail protests. Storm goes after Gail so she slaps him. He loads up the beer bottle but Gail hits him low and gets the bottle herself. And then that worthless bag of skin known as Jackie Moore debuts as Storm’s new chick. Gail takes the AMW finisher, the Death Sentence.

We get a video of the New Age Outlaws going to Connecticut to make fun of WWE. This went on for awhile and I don’t think anyone really cared. This is set to the Hardy Boys’ old music from the late 90s. The Outlaws put up 1,000,000 dollars for a match against any WWE team. Here they are (the Voodoo Kin Mafia or whatever) for the challenge. They declare victory over WWE for some reason.

They talk about chilling at Titan Towers and Vince did nothing. Then they went to a house show and bothered Paul Levesque (HHH) who did nothing. They do wish him well in healing his leg though. They went to San Antonio to find Michael Hickenbottom (HBK) but he was a no show. Then they put out the million dollar charity (first time I’ve heard that mentioned) challenge but Vince turned it down. It would have helped ratings apparently.

Roadie makes fun of Vince for letting Cena lose to Kevin Federline and the celebrity look-a-likes (Rosie and Trump I think) have a match. I have no idea what the point of this was. The booing that was heard turned into TNA chants. That’s actually true, and then they do stupid stuff like this because this is what you pay to see when you buy a TNA PPV: people talking about WWE. Roadie actually says that Vince insults people’s intelligence. I’d advice you to scroll up about a page or two and make your own jokes. The fans don’t seem to care here.

He says that this is like the Iraqis having purple fingers from voicing their opinions. Yeah, because picking a wrestling company when you can watch both without overlapping is like freedom to vote. The fans are led in a chorus of We’re Not Gonna Take It and that’s it. And no it isn’t because Christy Hemme is here. She cries about how Shawn/HHH and the Outlaws are debated about who the foundation of DX. I kid you not, she asks what about Chyna.

It’s about women like her and Lita and Trish and WHAT IS THE POINT WITH THIS??? Oh it’s the start of Hemme’s women power thing. She talks about how the women aren’t disposable and how she wants to wrestle. This is just awful. The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and Christy says she does too, then she proceeds to keep talking. She goes into her last tirade and the fans chant boring. This has been going on over ten minutes now.

Roadie says there’s a place for women in the business and sounds sympathetic. Billy says that Christy is a sl** (BIG pop) and tells her to go back to stripping. Girls are good for two things, prompting a suck it sign. Christy goes off on him again and slaps Kip (Billy) to finally end this. For some reason, this got about 15 minutes in total, or longer than every match on the card other than one tonight. And it led to Christy in a tuxedo match and managing a bunch of tag teams.

Team 3D says they’re ready for LAX. Runt (Spike) and Konnan have both been taken out for this match. Ray talks about the fans and how LAX has no idea how lucky they have it. They leave and Sting pops up, looking for Abyss. And that’s it.

We recap LAX vs. 3D. LAX has the titles, the Dudleys want them, Brother Runt and Konnan got beaten up. Runt is an alcoholic or something.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D

D-Von vs. Hernandez gets us going. D-Von is played up as being just as strong as Hernandez here which is probably a stretch but I’ll go with it. Spinning elbow gets two. Off to Ray who chews on gum that Homicide spits out. Ray spits it back at him and that’s your pairing at the moment. The fans chant 187 as Homicide gets caught up in the power game. BIG Rock Bottom gets two. That looked awesome.

Off to D-Von who gets caught by Hernandez and a double team attack gets two. The spinning elbow takes Homicide down and it’s back to Ray. It’s been about 90% Dudleys at this point. Ray and Homicide go to the floor and Homicide gets killed. Does that make sense? Either way it’s off to SuperMex again. Off to a chinlock and the fans want tables. The LAX control doesn’t last long as D-Von beats them down again.

Splash misses for Hernandez and D-Von takes over (Ray: KILL HIM!) again. LAX gets caught by double teaming and Ray doesn’t seem to feel the need to get involved. He gets a tag a few seconds later and What’s Up Hernandez. 3D from 3D to Homicide and Hernandez is sent to the floor. And here’s Runt in a Santa suit, drunk off his Spike. He jumps off the top onto Homicide and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the ending was about the only way they could manage to keep the titles on LAX. This was pretty one sided the whole time so they couldn’t change the titles or having a regular ending without making one team look weak. Konnan being gone was fine for an explanation for the lack of cohesiveness from the champs. This was the first of five straight PPVs these two were against each other.

Joe says welcome to the ending Kurt. It’s personal now as it almost always is.

Recap of Joe vs. Angle. Joe was undefeated in TNA but Kurt showed up and in his first match, broke the streak. Joe won at the next PPV and this is the rubber match. They really could have built this up for a year at least but they did it in a month for some reason.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

30 minute iron man match, winner gets the title shot next month. The fans are totally split here. They go to the corner to start and then to the mat after about a minute. Joe runs him over and Kurt hits the floor. Back in and they’re clearly pacing themselves here. Three minutes in and there’s more stalling by Kurt. Back in Kurt chokes away in the corner but Joe gets a running kick for two. Five minutes in.

Joe hooks something like a seated abdominal stretch and then a front facelock. Angle gets in a shot at Joe’s bad knee and hits a belly to belly suplex to take over. Off to a chinlock to eat up a few minutes. Joe gets up and hits a snap suplex and both guys are down at ten minutes in. Back up and Kurt gets sent to the floor. Elbow suicida mostly misses but they’re both down anyway.

Angle has a small cut on his head. Joe gets two and a powerslam but misses a charge. The American hits a German on the Samoan for two. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but Kurt rolls through. Joe rolls through that into the Clutch for a tap at just shy of 13:00 gone by. It’s 1-0 Joe. Things reset a bit but Kurt takes over with some right hands. Off to a chinlock and we hit the halfway point while in that hold.

Joe rolls through an Angle Slam and hits a running knee to the face for two. Angle picks the ankle though and Joe taps out with 13:57 to go to tie it up. Angle controls as the fans chant for Joe. Back to the chinlock but Angle shifts back into the ankle lock and Joe taps for the second time to make it 2-1 with about 11 minutes to go. Both guys are down again. Why Angle is tired I’m not quite sure but he is.

Angle pounds away in the corner with ten minutes left. Joe tries the MuscleBuster again but gets rolled up for two. Angle Slam gets the same. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on again. Joe counters this time and this time the MuscleBuster ties us up at 7:40 to go. The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Him but Angle takes the knee out again. Back to the ankle lock with the grapevine but Angle goes to just a regular one instead. Joe kicks him off so Angle goes up. Kurt jumps off but into a suplex attempt. He rolls through though and takes a 3-2 lead over Joe at 5:19 to go.

Five minutes left. Angle starts stalling with four and a half minutes to go. Out to the floor and Angle is fine with chilling there for awhile. Four minutes left. Angle starts running but Joe’s leg keeps him from running. Back in and Joe is in trouble. Kurt charges into the corner and runs into a release Rock Bottom. Three minutes left. MuscleBuster is countered and Angle wraps the leg around the post. 2:30 to go.

They strike it out on the floor and back in with two minutes left. Joe hits a kick and Buster but Kurt gets his foot on the ropes. 90 seconds left. Both submissions are broken up and 60 seconds left. Joe tries the choke but Angle plays defense. 30 seconds left and Joe hooks an ankle lock on Kurt. There’s the grapevine but Kurt barely hangs on and tapes after the bell, managing to win.

Rating: B-. It was good but they never hit a high gear like they’re capable of. It had good drama at the end though which is really the best thing you can ask for. Keeping this at 30 minutes instead of an hour is a great idea and should be the norm for all Iron Man matches. Good match but these two are better at one fall stuff.

Sting says he’ll separate Abyss from his puppeteer tonight. Cue Mitchell and Abyss with the manager saying Sting is just as much of an animal as Abyss. Sting grabs Mitchell and says tonight Mitchell will be dancing with the devil.

We recap the world title match. Sting lost the title to Abyss via DQ at the last PPV so this is his rematch. As for Christian, he and Tomko know something about Abyss’ past and that Abyss was in prison for shooting his dad. Sting is trying to save Abyss from the dark side and almost did when Mitchell was gone, but Mitchell got him back recently.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Abyss vs. Christian Cage

Elimination rules. Tomko will be locked in a small cage at ringside. Christian gets knocked down quickly so the others go at it. Abyss is champion here if that wasn’t clear. He gets knocked to the floor so Sting beats up Christian for awhile. Abyss pulls Sting to the floor and rams him into the cage. Now Cage is thrown around too. All Abyss at the moment. Christian gets in a shot and goes back inside with Abyss as Sting is still down.

Shock Treatment hits for two on the second attempt. Christian takes out the knee but jumps into a chokeslam for two. Tomko reaches through the cage and chokes Sting. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam but the referee is yelling at Tomko. Christian guillotines Abyss on the ropes, right into a Death Drop from Sting and it’s one on one (despite a very clear shot of Abyss’ shoulder being up). Abyss chokes Sting before he leaves.

Christian uses the distraction for a missile dropkick for two. Off to a chinlock for a change of pace. Sting Hulks Up and gorilla presses the Canadian. Superplex puts both guys down and Sting can’t cover. Mitchell comes back down for no apparent reason. Sting hooks the Deathlock in the middle of the ring but Mitchell hits the guy holding the key and frees Tomko. Tomko runs in and hits a Rack Neckbreaker which is good for two.

Christian distracts the referee as Tomko comes in again. Sting knocks him to the floor as Abyss returns to beat Tomko up. Christian misses a belt shot and walks into an Unprettier from Sting for a VERY close two. Down goes the referee and Mitchell comes back in. Abyss is there too and Sting puts Mitchell in the Deathlock. Abyss I guess turns again, hitting Sting with a chain. A Frog Splash gives Christian the title.

Rating: C-. This didn’t really do it for me. It’s not bad, but MAN was it overdone at the end. Christian gets a world title out of it so the internet exploded, but at the same time the match was pretty boring. It just went too crazy at the end and the match felt like a trainwreck. Also it was pretty short, which didn’t help things.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s far better than Against All Odds, but this was a step off. The problem for the most part is that the main event feels like an afterthought, but it had to be given that Angle vs. Joe was the real main event. They kind of backed themselves into a corner with that, but given what they had it’s understandable. The other issue the title match had is that it felt very rushed. Gee, could it be because you spent FIFTEEN MINUTES ON A FREAKING CHRISTY HEMME SEGMENT??? Time management: it’s always been one of TNA’s biggest issues and it still is today. Ok show, nothing really memorable though.

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2001: Benoit, Jericho and a Ladder

Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 16,056
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So with another year gone, two things have happened. First and foremost, Austin is back. He’s a bit weaker than he was before, but he’s still the biggest star in the world. Other than that, WCW is on its absolute death bed, as it would be out of business in about two months. The company is hot right now and they know it, so here they had more or less their 10th free shot in a row at having a great show and knowing there’s next to nothing WCW can do to touch them.

The other big match is Angle vs. HHH for the title. There’s really not a lot to say about this show as the main thing really is just Austin. He’s not a lock to win though as Rock is a huge deal also. I don’t think anyone bought Angle as a main event level guy though, so he could win here and be fine. Either way, let’s get to this as I know at least the Rumble is good.

The intro is of course bland and talking about ho this is the one night where you can win a chance to go to Mania. I get that that’s the main point, but could you please be a bit less generic? It’s not going to kill you for once.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Edge and Christian

My goodness it’s a non gimmick tag title match! The best I can gather is that Edge and Christian have been using chairs on the Dudleys so there’s a regular tag match because of it. Oh wait, Edge and Christian are the champions here? Well that makes more sense I guess. They used the chairs to help give them an advantage. Ok that actually does help things out a lot. The champions try to run after about 4 seconds as apparently the Dudleys are injured from the chairs still.

Lawler is amused that they have concussions for some reason. Also for some reason they’re allowed to compete despite having concussions. Only in wrestling would that be perfectly fine. Bubba and Christian are in now and Bubba is holding his head without it being touched so if nothing else he’ selling. Jim and Jerry argue about teeth for no apparent reason. Bubba shouts way too much. It’s so weird to see Edge in the midcard and not incredibly over yet.

We shift into more of a traditional formula here with D-Von fighting for everything he’s worth while the referee naturally misses a tag. While Bubba has the referee’s attention since he never was that bright, D-Von avoids another double chair shot. Once the Dudleys take over, Edge shows off his idiotic side by bringing in a title belt but he misses. That’s fine, but he lays it down. Why would you do that?

Bubba is behind you, there’s no referee, so you lay down your weapon. He was still getting the hang of the top heel thing I guess. In a cool spot, the Dudleys set for 3D but Edge spears Bubba while D-Von has Christian up. It was cooler looking than it sounded. After Edge and Christian try to steal What’s Up, Edge gets hit by the 3D in an ending that felt kind of anti-climactic for some reason.

Rating: B-. This was a match between two teams that fought about a thousand times but it was nice to see them do it without weapons for a change. That’s not something you often see and the good thing is you could have a good match without them. That’s always a good sign and a nice bit of fresh air from these guys. It wasn’t great but it was a good choice for an opener.

Drew Carey is here.

Vince says that Austin will be in the Rumble but HHH keeps his shot. This is about HHH accidentally running into Austin and Austin beating the heck out of him which broke some agreement. The ruling was that Angle caused it so it didn’t actually break the order, which made it completely pointless.

We go to Stephanie and HHH’s dressing room. This was just after Trish was caught bent over in front of HHH so that’s the main topic. Trish is going to be at ringside tonight. Stephanie cannot act, period. Drew Carey comes in and gets tips about how to do PPV because he’s doing Doritos presents Drew Carey’s Improv All Stars. Yes that’s actually what he calls it. He also apparently ran into Kamala at an airport and he’s now a singer. Amazingly enough, that’s real.

Farrooq and Bradshaw show each other their Rumble numbers in a scene that was supposed to have gay overtones that failed completely. Crash comes in and threatens to eliminate them later.

We get the recap of Jericho vs. Benoit, which more or less is both guys saying they’re better and Benoit having the IC Title, so they put it on the line in a ladder match. Do you need any more build that Jericho vs. Benoit in a ladder match? I don’t think so.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

I’ve always loved the prove me wrong line that Benoit had. It was perfect for him as it was short and sweet and correct. That’s all you need a lot of the time. Jericho has a bad shoulder here too to offer some psychology to the match. It helps here as your arms can help you climb a ladder so if nothing else it fits the flow of the match here which can often be the most important part of the match.

They bring the ladder in and somehow we get even more physical than we already were in this match. This was some of Jericho’s best in ring stuff around this time as he was clearly having a blast. See, the difference between WCW and WWF is that here, Benoit and Jericho are likely going to steal the show. They did it in WCW as well but there they would likely just do the same thing again until they jobbed to a 42 year old that didn’t need a push at all.

Here, Benoit would be a workhorse that got all kinds of praise and big matches while in less than a year Jericho would be world champion. Ah here we go. It’s ladder and other weapons time. After some stiff shots in the ring, Jericho goes to the floor and grabs a chair. Benoit launches a suicide dive at him but goes straight into the chair in a great looking spot. And see, Jericho SELLS THE SHOULDER. How hard is that for people to learn?

This turns into a game of top this as they come up with more and more ridiculous ways to hurt each other with the ladder. One of them is Benoit being tied into the ladder on the second rope and Jericho hooking a side Russian legsweep on him, bringing the ladder down with them. There’s stuff in here straight out of a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.

Benoit gives Jericho a belly to back suplex over the top rope. That’s cool looking if nothing else. Climbing back in, we have a fight up on the top of the ladder, which leads to the spot of the match. Jericho knocks Benoit backwards, and puts THE WALLS OF JERICHO on him on top of the ladder. To say this looks both incredible and painful is a total understatement. That just got this match a much higher grade.

Benoit goes off the ladder but has the energy to kick it over to save the title. This is great stuff here. Back on the mat, Jericho gets caught in the crossface and taps, but obviously this means nothing. There’s at least some psychology here as Benoit already has Jericho’s shoulder hurt so he works on it. That’s at least smart. Since there’s nothing else to do, Benoit is picked up and just thrown into the ladder.

Why not? Sometimes the best solution is just to beat the other person up with the ladder. It’s working here if nothing else. In yet another great visual, we go to the top for a suplex but Jericho is shoved off. Benoit goes for the swan dive, and the whole crowd just rises to their feet to watch in amazement at what they’re seeing. That’s how you know you’re doing a great job: the crowd responds to you.

We finally get one of the first dead spots of the match which is perfectly acceptable in this case as they’re half dead. This lasts all of four seconds though as Jericho comes back in with a chair and just wears out Benoit with it while he’s standing on the ladder. Benoit gets pushed off and bounces off the ropes, then the apron and then the floor, which is enough for Jericho to get the belt. DANG that was painful looking. The highlight package of this match doesn’t do it justice.

Rating: A. This was a freaking brutal fight. They beat the living crap out of each other here and are going to be hard to top. For some reason this match isn’t really remembered, and that was the case even before Benoit was deleted from history. These guys went at it like no other and beat the living heck out of each other. Go find a copy of this as it’s definitely worth it. Great brawling match with tons of brutal spots.

Drew Carey hits on Trish and her chest, which ends up with him entering the Rumble.

Chyna says she’s ready. She was still hot back then.

Jericho says that was a war but he’s happy.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory, which is based on the RTC hating Chyna for being in Playboy (thank goodness!) and then spike piledriving her which allegedly broke her neck. Her line of I hate them while crying is a great thing.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Around this time Chyna had this big pyro gun called the C-2000 that launched fireworks into the air which was kind of cool. Ross says that Ivory is sexually frustrated and menstruates 30 days a month. I’ve got nothing for that. If nothing else they got the description of her right: she’s more or less Lilith from Cheers.

Chyna was supposed to be this woman that broke all kinds of barriers yet she wrestled in more or less a leather two piece swimsuit. If anything, Ivory in her full body outfit is the one breaking more barriers. This has been ALL Chyna. She beats up Richards and goes for a handspring elbow and falls down holding her neck because of it.

That ends the match after Ivory’s body covers her. This led to her being completely fine and coming back to destroy Ivory in about 2 minutes at Wrestlemania to win the title and completely ruin it as there was no one but Lita that had a freaking prayer against her. She left the company maybe 6 months after this, never to be seen again. The stretcher part takes at least five minutes, which is longer than the match went. Her chest looks freaking amazing in that segment if nothing else.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle, not a match. It wasn’t any good anyway, so there’s just not a lot to say here. It lasted about three minutes and was pure dominance.

Stephanie runs into Trish. Hot women arguing ensues.

Drew Carey tries to introduce himself to Kane. Recap not needed.

Low Down, perhaps the dumbest idea ever, (D’lo Brown and Mosh as Arabs) argue with their manager about who should be in the Rumble. It doesn’t matter as Drew Carey gets their spot. Now this is an important point. Let’s compare this to WCW and David Arquette. Both Carey and David are about the same level of celebrity status and they’re here to promote something that not a lot of people are going to watch anyway. What does the WWF do?

They replace a jobber in a match where he absolutely won’t be missed. Think about it: what would Brown or Mosh do in the match? Hang around for about seven minutes and be destroyed by either Taker or Kane or someone like that. Would anyone really miss either of them being in there? Not in the slightest. Instead, you get a celebrity in the match where he might bring in a few fans to the show. See, that’s how you use celebrities.

You put them in a place where they don’t make a big difference at all, but they seem like they do. That’s smart business. You give up a little something and while you likely won’t get a big payoff, you might get a decent one. If not, you lost Mosh or D’Lo for one night. That’s something you can live with and if nothing else, Drew gets publicity and you look like nice guys. Now on the other hand you have WCW, where a celebrity of about equal status was there trying to promote something.

What does WCW do? THEY MAKE HIM WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, thereby making the wrestlers look pathetic, the title look like a joke, their PPV look like a bigger freak show than a pro wrestling show normally is, an more or less drive yet another spike into their own coffin.

Instead of having him do something stupid with Disco Inferno or something for like 5 minutes on Nitro, they said that this actor is on equal footing with the champions of the other major company at the time, which at that time would have been HHH. See why they went out of business so fast?

We hear opinions from the fans on who will win the title match tonight.

HHH is getting ready and sounds like Darth Vader.

We recap this feud, which consists of Angle hitting on Stephanie and Trish allegedly trying to sleep with HHH through some comedic mix ups.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle had won the title in the fall from the Rock and held it ever since, more or less in a huge Cinderella thing where no one could beat him and he just kept getting luckier and luckier, which is fine I guess. This is another hard match to comment on as both guys were just off the charts around this time as far as in ring work went. The good thing here is that they manage to balance the brawling style which dominated the era with some solid in ring work that both men excel out.

This is another match that’s hard to criticize or poke fun at because it’s working really well. You don’t often hear about these two having chemistry but it’s there. Sadly though, the match runs a bit long for the fans. It’s about 25 minutes, and for purist fans like most of us here it’s a treat, but the problem is that this is still the Attitude Era, so if a match has a good amount of technical stuff in it or psychology etc., it’s considered boring.

However there’s a part in here where it gets a pick me up as the two women come out and fight for a bit. This is a bigger reaction than anything in the match. The problem with this match is simple. HHH is the undisputed top heel in the company as he was revealed as the guy that masterminded Austin being run down, but Angle was more or less built up as the midcard guy in over his head but still good enough to put the belt on.

Think of Punk’s original reign and you’ll get what I mean. The problem here though is that HHH is simply a bigger star and at this point a better wrestler than Angle. Angle would get a lot better but this is probably the peak of HHH’s in ring ability as he was just so perfectly evil at this point and the in ring work backed that up to perfection.

Anyway, you can tell that Angle is really finding his groove here as he’s getting a lot more intense than he used to be and is getting into that character that took the world by storm within a few years. This is mainly technical stuff as HHH uses the Indian Deathlock of all things, which no one buys at all, mainly because other than the Sharpshooter and the figure four, one of which is used and I’ll let you guess which one, no one taps to a submission hold.

In another blast from the past, HHH busts out a Razor’s Edge. Hall was gone by this point from mainstream wrestling so this was a bit more acceptable I guess. Also the ratings were so low that I don’t think they could be seen from the ground anymore so who the heck cares? Anyway, Vince comes out to get the girls broken up, oddly enough picking this time to come out and get his hands on Trish. What a shock that is.

Anyway, after they leave and the crowd more or less goes with them, the referee goes down twice. The second was great as he was down on the outside and HHH throws Angle into the post and Earl just slams into the steps in a solid bump. HHH misses a belt shot but there’s no zebra impersonator. He does however get a heck of a Pedigree that Angle takes perfectly.

Austin runs out though and beats HHH up with Earl still down. At least in this case the bump the referee took looked awesome so you can validate him being down this long. HHH takes a belt shot so he’s down as Austin gets the referee back in there. He gets a Stunner in just for good measure and Angle keeps the belt. Angle would hold onto the belt until next month when Rock beat him for it to set up Mania 17.

Rating: B. This was a very solid match, but the run in at the end kind of hurt it. The problem with Angle’s reign was he never had a definitive win to cement himself as champion, much like Punk’s first reign, and it suffered a lot because of that.

I’m not saying you put him over HHH clean, but somewhere along the line he had to beat someone in a title match without help or cheating. Either way, HHH was great here and Angle was improving dramatically, so this was fine. I might have cut out 4-5 minutes, but it’s very solid all around.

Rock says he’s ready for the Rumble. It’s funnier than it sounds.

Royal Rumble

Jeff Hardy is first and Bull Buchanan is second. It’s so weird to see Jeff as a total midcard guy that’s known for doing nothing but high spots. I had to pause for a second there to get my composure. Rikishi is number 30. In a stunning turn of events, Matt is number 3. Why does Ross always say wait a minute? We don’t have that kind of time. Naturally Bull is gone in about twenty seconds. I will give them this: they actually fight each other.

The Steiners just wouldn’t do it and it sucked. Farrooq is 4th and they double team him of course. See, that’s a classic tactic but it works well. Jeff botches a double team spot. In other news, the sun came up today. The double team finisher leads to Simmons being thrown out. Now we get to the fun part as they just throw punches. Jeff gets a SICK Whisper in the Wind as Drew Carey is 5th. This was when he was actually a big deal so this was a cooler thing that it seems like.

I thought they were booing but they’re chanting Drew. Matt and Jeff put each other out so Drew stands alone. In a truly great moment, Kane is number 6. The look on Drew’s face and the reaction of the crowd and Ross absolutely panicking is just perfect all around. Kane walks around the ring and does the fire thing. Drew tries to get Matt and Jeff to come back then tries to pay Kane.

He gets put up in a chokeslam but Raven and his sweet music save him as number seven. Drew waves goodbye and eliminates himself. He walks to the back, high fives some fans and is never seen in the WWF again. See, that right there is how it’s done.

Drew was in there all of three minutes or so, he got a solid response from the crowd, he took the place of D’lo or Mosh who Kane would have put out in about 10 seconds and no one would have remembered, Drew comes out of it having lost no respect at all, and he got some publicity for his PPV. Everyone wins.

There was nothing wrong with this and it came off great. Anyway, Raven gets thrown through the ropes which allows Al Snow who Raven had injured to run out early and beat on Raven. His clock goes off so he’s in now and he brings weapons. One of these is a garbage can, and for the first time ever, it has garbage in it. He also gets a bowling ball which he rolls into Raven’s crotch.

In a chilling line, Ross says this is what New Orleans looks like after a bad hurricane. Saturn is 9th with Terri who is about to fall out of her top. All three guys work on Kane, and they prove that they’re idiotic by beating on him enough to get him on the mat, instead of, you know, OVER THE TOP. Blackman is 10th, and being the genius he is he beats on everyone not named Kane. This big long hardcore thing isn’t working for me or the audience either.

The division was just dead by this point and it’s showing badly. Grandmaster is 12th and now we get to the fun part. Kane goes to the floor and grabs a garbage can and just freaking kills everything in sight with it. He knocks all five out in about 20 seconds with some sick shots. Blackman tries to skin the cat and Kane just blasts him over the head which makes me chuckle.

Number 12 is the Honky Tonk Man who sings and plays the guitar. That seriously might be the greatest gimmick of all time. I mean really, a wrestling Elvis impersonator? That’s just amazing on a ton of levels. Seeing Kane, more or less a crazy sociopath behind Honky for this is hilarious. Honky is gone in about a minute and Rock is 13 to a big ole pop. Kane is a lot more muscular here than he usually is.

Goodfather is 14th and for some reason there’s a big Rumble R over the right side of the screen but not that left. That looks odd. Goodfahter is in for about 2 seconds as Rock puts him out. Ross gets in another of his out there lines by saying Kane is a carnivore chewing on a big piece of Rock Burger. Yeah I’ve got nothing. Tazz and his awesome music is 15th and he lasts longer than Goodfather, being eliminated in 8 seconds or so.

13 people have been eliminated. Kane has put 7 of them out. Bradshaw gets us into the second half, and oddly enough he had the longest world title reign of these three. That’s just weird to say. Albert is 17th, making the shortest man in this match at the moment is Rock who stands 6’5. Hardcore Holly is in at 18. We’re at kind of a slow point here as not a lot is going on.

K-Kwik, more commonly known as R-Truth is 19th. Bradshaw powerbombs the living tar out of him. That was painful looking. Val Venis is number 20. He’s still in the RTC at this point. This match has a noticeable lack of energy to it which isn’t good at all. I think Rock came in way too early. He’s a big deal and he’s been in there awhile already. Right now Kane and Rock are the only two that are really up and doing much of anything.

William Regal, still a smiley heel is 21st. He has a lot of heat on him if nothing else. Test is 22nd. Not a lot is happening here at all and we need to get rid of some of the people in there. As I typed the word some, Regal is gone. Test, the guy that threw him out, would win the European Title from him before Mania. He then kicks the heck out of Venis.

Big Show makes his return at 23. Good GRIEF that man is fat. He throws out Truth and Test in about a second each and then chokeslams literally everyone other than Rock so they’re all down. Rock manages to get a low blow in and knock Show out before the next guy comes out. Show isn’t happy though and chokeslams Rock through the table in a cool looking spot. Crash is 24th.

Everyone joins together to beat on Kane. Rock is out on the floor. He’s selling perfectly too. Taker is 25th and it’s on. He saves Kane from a massive beatdown and they look at each other and Taker gives him a sign. Within 15 seconds, all five others in the match are gone so it’s Taker, Kane (he’s eliminated nine people here, which I think ties him for the record at the moment) and Rock who is still on the floor.

There had been talk of Taker and Kane hooking up again and apparently that was true. In an amusing spot, Scotty is 26th. Guess how this goes for him. The idiot actually gets in the ring. In a flat out brutal beatdown, Scotty is punched, kicked, kicked in the face and takes a double chokeslam before they throw him out together. 27th is Austin, and to say the place pops is an understatement.

However, he doesn’t make it to the ring just yet as HHH is here. Rock is back in and all of a sudden this is awesome. See what happens when you don’t have any stupid fillers in there and you just put the big, talented stars in there?

HHH beats the tar out of Austin and cuts him open, which to be fair works because he jumped him from behind so Austin never had a fair shot. Billy Gunn is 28th and the level of awesome is just sucked out of this thing. Taker hits Rock with that sweet running DDT that I wish he would bust out a lot more often.

Haku of all people is 29th. Note: he was at the time FAR more famous as Meng. He was also the WCW hardcore champion at the time, but WCW in its eternal brilliance put a title on a guy that was getting paid per appearance and had no formal contract. His return lasted all of six month or so but it was kind of cool I guess. I thought it was more like a month, but whatever. He teamed with Rikishi which went nowhere and he because a Heat guy after awhile.

Ross’ blatant cheering of Austin and calling it a shame is really annoying. We get it: you love Austin. You’re supposed to at least try to be unbiased. Granted, I have to wonder how much of this is Ross and how much is Vince screaming in his ear. Rikishi is number 30 but Austin jumps him on his way in. Your final grouping is Rikishi, Haku, Billy Gunn, Rock, Kane, Taker and Austin. Austin puts out Haku to get us down to six.

Taker gets a good chokeslam on Rikishi which impressed me. They seriously tried to make Rikishi a legit big deal and to say it failed is the understatement of the year. To further my point, they actually let him put Taker out with a kick. I can’t stand Vince’s fascination with huge men at times. Seriously, he just put Rikishi over Taker.

Rather than having Rock, Austin, Kane and Taker as almost a dream final four, we get Billy Gunn, Rock, Kane and Austin as Rock puts Rikishi out. Billy gets a Fameasser on Austin but this I guess energizes him to allow him to put Billy out to get us to three. Austin is down in a corner, Rock puts Kane down and falls in another corner, and you know what’s coming. Rock wins the fistfight and the fans are clearly more into Rock than Austin.

Austin catches him with a Stunner as Kane is somehow still down. There’s a Rock Bottom to a great pop. It was kind of clear that Austin wasn’t as big of a deal as he used to be as Rock had surpassed him. This is the period that Rock lovers point to and say Rock was bigger than Austin. That’s like saying that Jim Brown, who was the best running back of all time and played in the 50s and 60s isn’t as good as Ladanian Tomlinson today.

Well duh of course not the man is in his 70s. Austin was past his peak here while Rock was in the middle of his. If Austin never left, Rock doesn’t hit this level, end of argument. If you believe otherwise, I’d love to hear your reasoning because it’s wrong. Anyway, Rock throws Kane through the ropes to give us more Rock and Austin. Lawler says he’s been waiting for years to see this. That’s odd as it’s been less than two years since their last Mania match but whatever.

Kane hits a chokeslam here as despite Austin being the relatively clear winner, it’s not for sure which makes this ending a lot better. Also it’s not like Austin is in there with Billy Gunn or someone completely ridiculous. Kane is a legit contender here which is making all the difference in the world. Kane gets a chair but Austin gets a counter and hits a Stunner.

Austin gets three very solid chair shots and a clothesline sends him to Wrestlemania, where he would take the title from Rock who would win it in a month and thankfully turn heel which thankfully Vince recognized was the only way to go. Basically, turn Austin heel had been the big movement online around this time as it was clear that Rock was the bigger face and it appeared that Vince was trying to make Austin bigger by sheer force. Luckily he woke up for once and we got Mania 17 out of it.

Rating: B. While not as good as last year’s this was still very solid. Austin winning made sense, the last two guys both also could have won, the midcard was well represented, and other than Billy, there was no one there at the end that wasn’t a legit winner. Carey offered a bit of flavor to the match and I think it helped.

It was something different, but it’s well remembered because it was well done. That’s proof you have a good moment. Kane was the story here though as they made him look awesome. His reward: a short run with the hardcore title because that’s how he’s respected. Anyway, this was very good stuff and above all else, it worked.

Overall Rating: A. This is a very good show. Every match has something good to offer, as the Chyna match was the worst but she looked awesome in it. There are five matches: four are for titles and the last is the Rumble. That’s a stacked card if there ever was one. Carey offered some mainstream appeal which is never a bad thing unless you completely screw it up and they didn’t here so that enhances this even more. This is definitely a top level show and certainly worth checking out.

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I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Character Development

This is one of those things that came to me when I was in the shower, which for some reason is where most of these ideas come from. Character development is one of the major things that is lacking in today’s product. I was reading a Jim Cornette commentary the other day and he said something to the effect of it’s not about what your character would say, but rather that the people you see ARE their characters. For instance, Ric Flair wasn’t playing the Nature Boy Ric Flair. He WAS the Nature Boy Ric Flair. That was then.

Today, most people on a wrestling show don’t have characters. Take for example Heath Slater. What do we know about him? Well he likes southern rock and he was on NXT and he was in the Nexus. What else do we know about him? For the most part, nothing at all. There’s nothing else that we have to go on about him. Oh and he’s not nice. Why should I care about this person? In short, there’s nothing there. He isn’t developed in the slightest. What exactly is a One Man Southern Rock Band? Does he play the bass with his toes?

Let’s compare Slater to someone who is currently the talk of the WWE world: The Funkasaurus himself, Brodus Clay. What do we know about this incarnation of Brodus Clay? He’s big, he’s a monster, he’s presumably a good guy, he loves to dance, he likes to have fun, he talks in the ring, and he has a thing for funk music. We got all that from him in a five minute segment. Heath Slater debuted on WWE TV on February 23, 2010. He’s been around almost two years and we learned more about Clay in five minutes.

Slater is one of the vast majority of the roster that has the same problem. It’s a long standing problem that has been getting worse and worse every year. Anymore, we never hear anything from these people other than whatever factoids Cole is willing to throw out to us this week, when he has time to stop arguing that is. Clay is a rare occurrence but the problem at the end of the day is that no one ever gets the chance to tell us anything. Let’s take a closer look at this.

Look at some of the big stars in WWE: Cena, Orton, Sheamus, Punk, Rhodes, Ziggler etc. Off the top of your head, you could probably tell me a good bit about any of their characters without saying a single thing about any of their matches. Sheamus for instance: he’s Irish, he loves to fight, stands up to bullies, he has a rather interesting family, and he likes to pretend to be angry before smiling. Oh and he’s related to Beaker from the Muppets. In short, he’s someone that we know a few things about and we could determine if he’s someone we want to support.

You could do that for most of the top names on the roster. What do those names have in common? They’re all developed characters of course. Now for the important question: how did they get that way. The answer is simple: they’ve been allowed to talk and explain their characters through their actions. Now, the majority of the roster doesn’t get this luxury because we’re just told what happens to them. Even the main guys have limited characters. Let’s go back to everyone’s favorite era: the Attitude Era.

Consider one bald headed rattlesnake. When Austin arrived, he was the Ringmaster. What the heck is a ringmaster? He had a feud with Savio Vega over….something. Then he was turned into Stone Cold, which still didn’t really mean much. Then he started talking about how much he didn’t like authority. Then he had a match at King of the Ring 1996 with Jake Roberts, and he cut a promo after it. He talked about being the new generation and at the end of it, he tied it together by talking about a Bible verse, connecting to Jake’s preacher character. A superstar was born.

Now I’m not saying that everyone who gets to talk for 90 seconds is going to be Steve Austin. However, what it does do is give them a chance to let us know a little more about them. What are they like? What should we know about them? What’s their take on things? We don’t know that about most wrestlers today. There’s a simple solution to this problem: have them tell us. Instead of Cole telling us that Justin Gabriel is the South African Werewolf (whatever that is) or what the significance of Hunico’s bicycle’s bike is or where Kofi went to college. Let us tell us these things, or better yet SHOW US these things.

Going back to Austin, imagine this. Now Austin can best be summed up as a rebel right? He rebelled against tradition, authority, pretty much everything. Now imagine if when he came down the ramp, Vince called him a rebel and he wore a Confederate flag and Vince kept pounding it into our heads that Austin was a rebel. How long do you think his character would have lasted? He’d have been lucky to make it out of 1996. Vince and JR treated him like someone who had done something rather than slapping a label on him and inserting that word into their commentary like a Mad Lib. Characters need to be acted out, not named.

How do we go about doing this you ask? There are a few ways to accomplish this, so let’s take a look at them.

1. Inset promos. These are one of the greatest ideas ever in wrestling. They were a lot more popular in the old days, but they seem to be making a small comeback. When someone is coming to the ring, have a small box pop up with them in it talking. They can talk about their current feud, an upcoming match, or something about their character. Have them out doing something or whatever. They’re short, they’re easy, and they can tell us a lot about someone.

2. Cut a few other things on the show to say time. There are so many things that happen on an episode of Raw that could be shaved off to give us more time. First of all, you could cut the Divas matches. Think about it: what do these matches add? The Divas don’t have storylines, most of them are interchangeable, the matches last at most two minutes, and they don’t go anywhere most of the time. When did Beth last defend the title anyway? Or cut the Did You Knows. 3 of them per show, 15 seconds each, you could cut a nice little promo in 45 seconds. See how easy it can be?

Another thing that could work wonders for the character development: let these guys develop their own characters. Think about it. Have you ever seen someone with the completely wrong character for them? Think of the Undertaker for instance. Can you imagine him as say….Doink? It would be the totally wrong fit for him. Giving someone the right character is essential.

Look at the Rock. His character basically was a jock that cracked jokes. In real life, Rock was in fact, a jock who probably cracked a lot of jokes. Austin really is a redneck from Texas. Vince McMahon really is a somewhat crazy, self-obsessed rich guy that owns the WWE. Their characters worked really well because they knew how to be themselves and it was something they could get behind because they didn’t have to act.

Let’s look at an example of this not working: Lance Storm as a fun loving dancer. Lance Storm is a very talented wrestler. He’s fun to watch, he’s smooth, he’s very smart (read his stuff), and he couldn’t have looked more out of place as a guy who loved dancing and having fun. Now, maybe that’s how he is in real life, I don’t know. The character was totally out of place and I think everyone knew it.

Shifting gears a little bit, let’s look at wrestlers’ ring names. This is where a lot of the appeal is being lost I think. Today, here are some wrestlers’ ring names: John Cena, Randy Orton, Darren Young, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, Evan Bourne, Wade Barrett. What do any of those names invoke images of in your heads? They’re just names. None of them are exciting or interesting or make me want to go and see who they are.

Let’s look at some of the old generation’s names.

Hulk Hogan: someone big, strong, the Incredible Hulk.

Ultimate Warrior: speaks for itself.

Randy Savage: crazy, wild, violent.

See how easy it is? These people are supposed to be wrestlers and larger than life characters, but for some reason Vince has decided he’d rather they sound like accountants. The appeal of the name is something that can make you pause and want to hear more about them. Why is this such a horrible thing to do anymore? For some reason the WWE seems to think that the best thing to do is make everyone as generic as possible, probably in case they jump or whatever, but still it gets annoying. If you can make up a name, make it something decent.

Finally we have entrance music. Often times the theme song of someone can tell you all you need to know about them in just a few seconds. Think of Ted DiBiase’s song: money, everyone has a price, I get what I want. Hogan: he loves America, he’ll fight for everyone, he’ll never quit. Shawn: I know I’m awesome, I know I’m good looking, I know I’m the best. How many people today have a song that could ONLY go with their character? The answer is very few.

Character development is lacking so much in the modern wrestling product anymore today. Even the slightest bit of it seems to be stamped out almost as quickly as it came. Look at Del Rio: there is NOTHING we know about his character that we didn’t know a year ago. He had the wink and it was implied that he was a very evil person, but then they took care of that and made him a guy that was rich and talked about destiny. Well what then? Once he reaches his destiny, what can come from him then? It’s like the company has decided they want everyone as generic as possible and it’s really hurting things. Why would I want to see people who are as uninteresting as possible? If you can figure that out you’re a lot smarter than I am.

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Against All Odds 2007 – This Show Does In Fact Exist

Against All Odds 2007
Date: February 11, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Another TNA show here with a very basic main event of Angle vs. Cage for the title that Christian won last month. Other than that we have Abyss vs. Sting in a Prison Yard match. Oh this is going to hurt isn’t it? It always does. 2007 was such a bad year for TNA but to their credit they bounced back the next year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how Christian is great (“The best thing since sliced bread. Who are we kidding? I’m better than sliced bread.”) and how Angle is still pretty new around here and is looking for his first TNA (officially NWA) world title.

Team 3D is in the ring to open the show as they want to start the Little Italy street fight right now.

Team 3D vs. LAX

LAX has the titles but this is non-title. There are tables in the ring like at a stereotypical Italian restaurant. LAX comes from under the ring while Konnan is being wheeled out and jumps 3D to open things up. All LAX to start with Hernandez cracking D-Von with a chair and both of them hitting dives. Scratch that as Hernandez gets popped with a chair on the landing to give 3D the advantage.

For some reason there are cage kind of things with dancing girls in them at ringside. Ok then. Ray catches a diving Homicide and hits a fallaway slam onto the ramp. And now Ray gets the girls from the cages put onto his lap. Ok then. All LAX here as D-Von gets double teamed. Homicide brings in a trashcan complete with trash. He finds a pizza cutter and D-Von gets carved up.

Ray counters with a cheese grater which cuts up Homicide so Ray can lick the blood. The “Latino Nation” (read as guys in white undershirts and bandanas) come in for a beatdown but 3D fights them off. What’s Up to Homicide. It’s table time but they load up What’s Up on Hernandez, only to have D-Von dive on the Latino Nation guys instead. Hernandez fights back and hits a spinebuster to Bubba through the table. A top rope elbow from Homicide gets two. Saving Grace gets two for D-Von (the reverse inverted DDT) and his face is covered in blood. The Latino Nation blocks a superplex and the Border Toss pins D-Von.

Rating: C-. Just a standard hardcore brawl with a lot of blood. I don’t get the appeal of these but I’m sure they have an audience. Nothing happened as far as the titles until Lockdown where 3D got them off of LAX. LAX was supposed to be this huge deal but I never really got what was all that great about them. They were certainly good but I didn’t get the mass appeal.

Austin Starr talks about how he’ll get to shine tonight and makes various movie references. Bob Backlund strolls through the shot and Starr threatens him with violence. Starr leaves and Backlund says a lot of long words and implies he’ll fight back.

Austin Starr vs. Senshi

Starr was in the finals of something called the Paparazzi Production Series and felt he got cheated (he did) so he wants a chance to get noticed tonight. There are a bunch of people in the front row who look like a softball team. Senshi starts off fast and pounds away with his strikes. Starr sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive. Slingshot hilo and an elbow drop get two.

A back rake gets two so Starr pulls on his ears. HARD chop by Starr. Pendulum elbow misses and Senshi fires off some kicks. Gutwrench powerbomb gets two for Starr. Senshi comes back with more kicks and chops. A springboard enziguri gets two. They both try suplexes but Senshi hits a Liger Kick. That doesn’t get sold as Sensehi misses a splash. Starr hooks a quick crossface chickenwing but it’s released quickly. Warrior’s Way misses and it’s back to the chickenwing. Starr tries an O’Connor Roll but Senshi rolls through and it gets a messy and mostly unclear three for the pin.

Rating: C-. Again the match was ok but I don’t care for these two. Their styles don’t do anything for me and therefore the matches come off as pretty uninteresting. I’m not a fan of all the strikes and the like which makes these indy guy matches dull. Not terrible, but it came and went and it’s over.

Post match Starr is ticked off and throws a bunch of chairs into the ring. He demands a mic and says he demands the match get restarted. He’ll throw every chair into the ring until someone restarts it. Backlund comes out and Starr backs away from the old man. He slaps Backlund and gets locked in the chickenwing. I know he’s nuts but I love Backlund.

Tomko and Christian get in an argument about I believe Steiner. Steiner comes in and yells because Tomko won’t shine his shoes or clean his glasses. Steiner yells about Tomko but Christian turns this around onto Angle somehow. Scott says he’s about to want to beat up Christian instead of Angle. Christian tells Tomko to go fix this.

We run down the rest of the card.

Recap of Christy Hemme vs. most males in TNA. She says she wouldn’t sleep her way to the top but the James Gang (Kip in particular) said she should do that and this started on a long feud that not many people cared about. Cornette says he’ll have an opponent for her.

Christy Hemme vs. ???

It’s a tuxedo match. And the opponent is…..Big Fat Oily Guy. Literally that’s his name and it’s a parody of Big Dick Johnson from WWE. Oh joy. Christy doesn’t look bad in a tux. Then again there’s very little she wouldn’t look good in. Oily guy is billed as being from Stanford, Connecticut. I’m not going to bother talking about this. Both of them lose their jackets and Oily Guy loses his shirt. This is booed out of the building. Christy wins in about two and a half minutes. Just awful.

Kip James comes out and strips her post match.

We get the latest Paparazzi Production Video and it’s implied that it’s a sex tape with Traci and Eric. It’s of Traci in a hotel room on the phone. There’s a Roode contract there and she glares at the cameraman, whoever that is. She’s off the phone and someone knocks. The cameraman gets into the closet and it’s to be continued.

We recap the Basebrawl which is a couple of baseball players and a wrestler each. Lance Hoyt says that Dale Torborg and AJ Pierzynski don’t get what he has to do. He’ll have David Eckstein with him. Johnny Damon was involved in this somehow too.

Dale Torborg vs. Lance Hoyt

Torborg is more famous as The Demon in WCW. Oh ok the softball team from earlier is Team Eckstein. Torborg was the strength coach for the White Sox so he really is a baseball guy. The fans chant baseball sucks. They go to the floor and this is a big mess. AJ whips Hoyt into the railing. The fans do not care. I mean AT ALL. I love baseball but I have no idea why this is here. Well I know why it’s here because it’s good to have your name associated with Major League Baseball but don’t expect the live fans to care.

Torborg hasn’t been a regular wrestler in about six years at this point and Hoyt is a pretty generic big guy so there isn’t even a decent match to see here. Hoyt tries a run up the corner spinning cross body and slips, hitting most of one of Torborg’s legs. Hoyt makes a comeback and goes up but Pierzynski hits him with a chair so Torborg can get the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible but like I said, I get the point in them doing it. That being said, Torborg isn’t a wrestler anymore and could only do basic stuff, making the match a total joke. To be fair though, they kept it short (five minutes) and the baseball guys are professional athletes so them getting physical is a lot more believable.

Eckstein gets in and says what happened with the chair while his brother pops Torborg with a chair. The match is restarted and a layout F5 ends Torborg.

More of the Paparazzi video including a few jokes from Nash in the first place. In the film, Eric arrives with chocolates and flowers. He ate some of the chocolates and the flowers are plastic. She rips his shirt off and allegedly it’s both of their first times. Eric’s unknown friend told him that was a bad idea but as he’s about to sign, it’s to be continued again.

We recap AJ vs. Rhyno. AJ had been running so they’re having a chain match. That makes sense right? WELL OF COURSE THAT’S NOT ALL THEN!!! There are going to be poles or something and the key is on one of them and there’s a weapon on another one.

AJ Styles vs. Rhyno

The weapon of choice is a nightstick. AJ runs a lot and Rhyno chases after him instead of just standing still and letting AJ run out of room on the chain. AJ gets back in first and hits a baseball slide to take over. They get into a tug of war and Rhyno takes over with pure power. The chain is wrapped around the post here. Back inside now and Rhyno takes over and hits a belly to belly.

Gore is countered by a dropkick and AJ chokes him with the chain. AJ goes for the key but Rhyno makes the stop. You don’t win if you get to the key or anything. AJ just gets loose and makes the whole gimmick totally pointless. Springboard forearm takes Rhyno down for a delayed two. Rhyno takes over and hits a spinebuster for two. He gets the nightstick but AJ hits him low to switch the momentum back.

AJ gets in some stick shots which should probably knock someone into a coma but it doesn’t even knock Rhyno down here. Styles gets the key and unhooks himself to totally negate the point of this match. AJ cuffs the chain to the ropes, tying Rhyno to it. Rhyno can get over halfway across the ring though so it’s not that horrible. Pele puts Rhyno down but he walks into a Gore but Rhyno can’t reach the key. Hebner casually kicks the key over to Rhyno in what is supposed to be a big deal I guess.

Ok now no one is chained up. In a chain match you know. Spinebuster puts Styles down and Rhyno goes for a table. Rhyno tries the running spinebuster kind of thing but AJ escapes. Another belly to belly looks to set up the Gore through the table but AJ moves and pins the not very down Rhyno off the crash.

Rating: D. It was an ok match but the gimmick part of it made my head hurt. This is Russo 101. If you want to have a gimmick attached that’s fine, but don’t overdo it like this. What did the poles and the key add to this? Either have the gimmick or don’t have it. It turned this into a game show instead of a match, which is what gets old with Russo.

Here’s part 3 of the Paparazzi thing. Eric doesn’t want to sign so Traci takes her jacket off to leave. He signs on her chest and the cameraman moves. She makes Eric close his eyes and Traci runs off, giving the contract to a waiting Roode. And they leave. That’s the end of the film. Backlund runs in and FREAKS, yelling about adult films.

We recap Sabin vs. Lynn. It’s old vs. new. Again.

X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin

The old X Title looks like a toy. They go to the mat to start and Sabin is sent to the floor. The idea is that Sabin underestimates Lynn because Lynn is 43. Sabin stalls more and we get some technical stuff with Sabin not being able to do anything to counter Lynn. And Sabin stalls AGAIN. The fans think this is boring as Lynn avoids a dive by Sabin. Sabin finally does something by kicking the ropes as Lynn gets back in.

Chris stomps away and works on the back. Backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Dropkick to the back gets two. Lynn tries to get something going but Sabin drops him face first onto the buckle. Another backbreaker gets two. Sabin gets in his face and pops him in the face a few times. Jumping back elbow in the corner has Lynn in trouble. Lynn kind of Hulks Up and fires off some dropkicks. Into the corner and Lynn spits onto his hands and rubs it in Sabin’s face, which Sabin did earlier.

Lynn gets a bit too cocky though and walks into a kick. Neckbreaker gets two for the challenger. Sabin is sent to the apron and manages a Stunner onto the ropes to take over again. Helicopter Powerbomb gets two for the champ. Cradle Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two. TKO gets two. Lynn tries the Cradle (theme in this match) Piledriver but his back goes out and Sabin backdrops him, grabs the rope and gets the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine. What more can you ask for than a decent match with an injury worked in and then that injury playing into the ending? That’s what you call psychology people and while this was very basic levels of it, that’s all you need at times, especially in a match like this. Fun stuff and the best match of the show so far.

Samoa Joe, the unofficial enforcer for the main event, leaves Angle’s dressing room.

Here’s Roode for an interview. He and Traci are very happy about the contract that they have Young’s signature on. Roode talks about how Traci finally did something right and calls out Eric Young. Young is all depressed and Roode says he doesn’t get what the fans love about him. He’s figured it out now though: the fans see themselves in Young. Like Young, the fans are worthless. Just like Young, the people will never know what it’s like to be successful.

They’ll never know what it’s like to sleep with a beautiful woman either. That gets Young’s dander up and he wants to hit Roode but he can’t bring himself to do it because it means he’s fired, which is Eric’s greatest fear. This would be the scene for about the next three months between these two.

Christian says everything is cool but Tomko walks away when asked if things are cool with Tomko and Steiner. As for Angle, Christian knows that Angle won a gold medal. Well the NWA World Title is the gold medal of TNA, so at the end of the night, Christian will be standing on top of the medal stand. Cornette pops up and reminds Christian that in TNA, if a champion is disqualified the title changes hands, so his goons better not get involved.

We recap the mixed tag. Gail Kim had been turned on by Storm so she wanted to beat him up but Jackie Moore returned for the save. Petey Williams is with Gail for some reason so let’s have a mixed tag!

Gail Kim/Petey Williams vs. James Storm/Jackie Moore

The guys start us off and it’s Petey in early control. Jackie wants in there because she hasn’t annoyed us yet. Off to Gail who is looking good in those white shorts. The heels cheat so the fans chant brokeback cowboy. Storm hooks on a bad chinlock. Petey tries to come back but gets kicked in the face for two. The fans now want to kill the cowboy. Not nice people there in Orlando.

Eye of the Storm puts Petey down again. This has basically been one sided so far. Off to Jackie for more of her great additions to this one. Petey finally starts moving and hits a slingshot Codebreaker to Storm. The problem is Petey can’t tag because his partner has breasts. Here comes the Destroyer but Jackie continues to mess up our good time. The girls go at it which is a lot less exciting than it sounds. Top rope dropkick puts Jackie down for two. Gail rolls her up but is kicked off, right into Storm. The collision is enough for Jackie to pin her.

Rating: D. Whatever man. I don’t really see why this feud was supposed to be interesting but the idea here was to have Storm be out there for the post match thing which we’ll get to in a minute. As for Jackie, she continues to hold the title of most worthless female in the history of wrestling.

Post match Storm goes for a bottle shot but Williams saves it, only to get kicked in the face. The referee takes a DDT from Jackie and they load up the Death Sentence on Williams. And here’s Chris Harris for the big return, looking to kill Storm. This would set up one of the worst TNA matches I’ve ever seen and then the rematch which was one of the best.

We recap Sting vs. Abyss. Oh boy it’s Sting vs. Abyss. Ok so Abyss was basically subservient to James Mitchell and Sting wanted him to be his own man. Mitchell said it’ll never work and this spiraled into a huge and overly complicated backstory of Abyss being in prison for shooting his father in the head three times and Mitchell getting him bailed out. I’m not sure if it’s been revealed at this point but Mitchell is Abyss’ father. The world title was involved earlier. This results in a prison yard match, whatever that is. Mitchell burned Sting’s face too. Eventually it would be revealed that Abyss’ mom shot him. Got all that?

Sting, in an Abyss mask, says he’ll take care of Mitchell after he takes care of Abyss.

Abyss vs. Sting

The arena has been made to look like a prison yard and there’s a solitary confinement box. You put the other guy in it and lock it to win. Whatever. Abyss comes out to the ring, then walks outside where the match starts. Sting goes into the arena also and plays to the crowd a bit. He’s in the singlet and t-shirt ensemble this time. Outside he goes and the match is finally ready to get going.

They’re outside to start and they fight near a big dumpster, as in one of the kind that’s like 15 feet long. Sting gets launched into it and Abyss loads up a table. Sting pops out of the dumpster and hits Abyss with something that he found in there. For no adequately explored reason, Abyss rolls himself onto the table and Sting splashes him through it. They go into the arena now and Sting finds a barbed wire ball bat which goes into the ribs and back and arm of Abyss.

Sting calls for the cage to be lowered but Abyss avoids going into it. Sting beats up Mitchell and steals his belt, popping Mitchell with it for fun. I must have missed Abyss getting knocked down. Sting whips Mitchell for awhile and Mitchell is busted. Abyss finally comes back and the brawl continues. He pulls one of the lights off the posts and shatters it over Sting’s head. That looked great.

Abyss still can’t quite put him in the cage though so here’s a table. And here’s a barbed wire board. You know, because every wrestling ring has one underneath it. Black Hole Slam puts Sting down and Abyss rips the mask off Sting. He still can’t shut the cage though and Sting hits a pair of Splashes and the Death Drop. Sting puts Abyss in the cage but doesn’t shut up because Mitchell runs in.

Sting, Rhodes Scholar that he is, puts Mitchell in the Deathlock and Abyss runs him over. Abyss puts him on the table For absolutely no apparent reason, Abyss tries to climb up the cage. Sting gets up and since Abyss is slower than molasses at Christmas delivered by a snail with a limp, Sting loads up the barbed wire board onto the table, pops Abyss with the bat and powerbombs him through the board/table. That’s good for the win.

Rating: C+. How exactly do you call something like this? It isn’t exactly a match that has a precedent for it but the match was entertaining enough. The whole idea was for Sting to get to be able to be alone with Mitchell and that’s what happened. It was fun enough so I can’t really complain.

Sting destroys Mitchell post match until security makes the save. Mitchell would be gone for six months.

Angle talks about how when he got here, Samoa Joe looked like the best in the company. They beat each other up but it was worth it to get here.

We recap the world title match. Angle won the shot in an iron man match last month. Tomko was brought in to help out Christian and Steiner came in too. Joe was teased as the helper but Joe keeps saying he’ll be impartial.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle

Christian is undefeated in TNA at this point. Tomko gets thrown out before the bell. Joe isn’t here yet either despite being the unofficial enforcer. Angle easily takes him to the mat to start. About a minute and a half in, here’s Joe with a chair. After the match basically stops for a minute, let’s continue. Angle pounds him down and grabs a quick ankle lock but the champ gets to the floor.

More bald man dominance out there as Angle picks him up in the Slam position and rams him back first into the post. The fans are into this and split probably 70/30 to Angle. Kurt misses a charge and his shoulder goes into the post. Joe yells at Angle because he wants the next shot to be at Angle. Oh yeah I forgot: Joe gets the winner at Destination X. Off to a chinlock back in the ring.

Back to the floor and nothing happens so let’s go back inside. They slug it out from their knees and Kurt takes over. Kurt hits some suplexes but both finishers are countered, resulting in the ankle lock but Christian quickly gets a rope. Low blow sets up the Unprettier for two. Slingshot by Kurt sends Christian into the corner. For some reason the champ tries to climb the ropes so Kurt runs them and throws him down.

The American hits the Germans on the Canadian, getting all the way to seven but that only gets two somehow. AJ runs in out of nowhere and gets on the top but Angle says jump. Joe chases AJ to the back and Christian pops Angle with a chair during the distraction. A Frog Splash gets two. Unprettier gets two. Kurt grabs an ankle lock but Cage counters, sending Kurt into the referee.

Angle Slam gets a very delayed two. The ref goes down again and here’s Tomko to take out Joe, only to walk into rolling Germans. Here’s Steiner with a pipe and Joe gets back up. Angle thinks Joe jumped him I think but Joe takes out the muscle guys. Joe beats them to the back and Angle throws on the ankle lock and Christian taps. No referee though so Christian pops Angle with the pipe and Unprettier #3 keeps the title on him.

Rating: B-. Fun main event here and a solid match for a B-ish level PPV. This set up Christian vs. Joe where Christian cheated again to keep the title. Good enough match as Christian did a lot of growing up in TNA, as he was just a midcard guy before this in WWE. Granted having matches with Angle and Joe is going to help anyone.

Overall Rating: C. Very much just an average show. It’s not bad but it pretty much just came and went. Some of it was good and some of it was bad, but for the most part here there was nothing on this card that I’m going to remember. I wouldn’t have been terribly disappointed had I watched it live though, which is usually a good sign. This was good enough. That’s about as good of a description as I can give it.

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Evan Bourne Suspended For Second Wellness Violation

According to the WWE’s Corporate Site.

Methinks he’s gone. I don’t see any reason to keep him around, especially after losing the titles already. Just cut him now.

Thoughts?




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2000: Best Rumble Ever

Royal Rumble 2000
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,200
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

At this point, the wars are over. WCW is practically dead and the WWF just keeps pouring it on. The main thing that’s different than last year though is simple: Austin is gone. With the company so far ahead that they would have to be WCW to manage to lose the lead they had built up, Austin was finally allowed to take the nearly yearlong break that he so badly needed to get his neck fixed once and for all.

With him out of the way, the Rock and HHH have stepped up. To all Rock fans, get this through your heads: without Austin taking this time off, Rock would be a fairly big star at best. He’s not bigger than Austin, he never was bigger than Austin, and he never will be bigger than Austin. He got as big as he got because of Austin not being there and that’s all there is to it.

Anyway, a lot of the roster is filled out now as we have guys like Jericho, Angle, the Dudleys, Show and I believe the Radicalz would debut the next night or eight days later so they were just over the horizon at this point. Your other main event tonight is HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight, which was one of the best matches I’ve ever seen and since I want to get to it, we’re starting now.

The opening video is about how insane Cactus is and how sane HHH is. That was the real point of the street fight tonight: getting HHH over as a crazy man. In other words, Foley is doing what he might be the best ever at, and that’s even better than Flair: getting people over and making them look better than anyone else ever could. There’s no mention of the match at all here, which is odd. After a brief intro from Jerry and Jim, we’re ready to go.

Kurt Angle vs. ???

Angle was the undefeated rookie wonder here and he had issued an open challenge here or something like that. He’s the clean cut kid here that no one could touch at this point. It had leaked out who the opponent would be, but not to the general public. Angle of course gives a speech talking about how great he is. The crowd is very hot already as is customary of a New York crowd. He gets some cheap heat by ripping on the Knicks, which is just fine. Cheap heat is still heat.

This is less than a week after the MSG Raw before Survivor Series so I’m fired up about the Garden in general. Actually the fans are chanting for the guy he’s about to fight so I guess they know who’s coming. Angle was just ridiculously great in this role. The music hits, and the symbol that we’ve been seeing for a few months comes up for Taz, who is the mystery guy. The crowd pops like a cherry for him too. I mean they are LOUD.

Angle beats on him for a few minutes until Taz gets his hands on him and let the suplexing begin. After a German, a head and arms, and a T-Bone, the Tazmission debuts in the WWF and Angle is out cold in about 20 seconds, ending his undefeated streak and making Taz look like an insane killing machine. Now that is how you debut a guy. Once Taz got going, he DESTROYED Angle. Angle is taken out on a stretcher as apparently it was a choke and not a sleeper.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s just over three minutes long, but DANG. That was a nearly perfect debut as Taz looked awesome there and Angle put him over like a master despite having only been around a few months at this point. Taz dominated here and was supposed to get the push that Benoit wound up getting, but because of Hardcore freaking Holly messing up a spot with a candy jar at Mania, Taz had an eye injury and had to take a lot of time off, so Benoit got the big IC title push instead.

Matt, Jeff and Terri are in the back to talk about the first ever tag team table match. Terri actually looks good here. They “won” her in the Terri Invitational Tournament (initials) so she’s their manager for awhile. This doesn’t last long as they realized Terri had no talent so that ended that. She was split from them by Mania I think. Anyway, the Dudleys have been putting people through tables so Matt and Jeff put them through some on Smackdown, leading to this match.

Taz says that he’s going to go right through this company.

Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

Like I said, this is a table match. The Dudleys have been around for a few months here and were the best team that people had seen in forever as no one had seen two guys this violent in a mainstream promotion for more than a few weeks before. And no, Public Enemy doesn’t count due to a lack of talent. Bubba is still a southern stutterer here.

We get a John Rocker reference as Bubba says that’s his new favorite player. For those of you that have either forgotten him or haven’t ever heard of him, he was a decent relief pitcher for the Braves who went on this insane tirade one day, bashing just about every religious or ethnic group in existence and complaining that New York had all of them. It was a big deal and he got in a lot of trouble for it.

He was HATED in New York because of it so just saying his name was instant mega heat. There’s a taxi hanging above the entrance. The entry way is really cool as it looks like an alley or a street to play up the street fight later on. In this you have to put both people through tables so we’re guaranteed an extra table or so. Thankfully we don’t have the pointless tagging thing here.

Don’t you love how ECW had just gotten on television nationwide in late August and within five months three of their biggest stars ever are opening a WWF PPV to HUGE pops from the New York crowd? Yet Vince said he never stole stuff from them. Keep telling yourself that Vince. You just happened to have these three guys get their biggest exposure yet back to back in a gimmick match made famous in ECW in front of their second most important city?

I’m not saying it’s bad because it’s a great idea, but Vince stole these guys. Again, smart, but not original at all like he would like you to believe. Naturally Jeff is flying all over the place. Bubba takes a SWEET chair shot from Jeff. He follows that up by running along the barricade at Bubba, but the member of Team 3D picks up the table and just chucks it at Jeff, slamming into his head for a great sound effect. See, this is a great example of not overbooking a match.

With these four guys, there’s zero need to try to do something big and complex. Just tell these guys to go out there and beat the heck  out of each other using weapons and high spots. Honestly, what more do you need these guys to do? You just let the guys go out there and rock the place. This was the real answer to the Cruiserweights in WCW: bigger guys just going out there and having over the top gimmick matches. It seems to be working fine here, and it got people’s attention.

The Hardys get the advantage again and they set for a double suplex on Bubba from the middle rope, but D-Von moves the table. I’ve always loved spots like that, as the guy is more or less saying he doesn’t care if his partner is hurt or anything, as long as he doesn’t go through a table. That’s brilliant. Here’s your token ladder, which foreshadows and references past and future matches which is hard to do.

There are some SICK chair shots in this. Matt has Bubba on a table on the floor but D-Von almost makes a save. Matt shoves him straight into a fan which was a not so good looking spot. Matt gets the leg drop to put Bubba through, but from out of absolutely nowhere, Jeff jumps at the same time in a half splash half elbow half manbearpig onto Bubba. I mean he came from nowhere. Think Shelton jumping onto the ladder to stop I think Van Dam at Mania.

We have a huge HOLY CRAP chant as D-Von takes another great chair shot. Bubba can barely stand. I think he can still be in the match and it’s not an elimination. I’m not sure if I like that or not. In ANOTHER nice sequence, D-Von is on a table on the floor and Matt dives at him. He moves and stands in front of another table and dives out of the way so Jeff crashes through that one.

That looked like something out of a Die Hard movie. Bubba is back now and I’m completely into this match. They point out that since the Dudleys didn’t put them through tables, it’s not over. At least they follow the rules of the match. They set up an elevated table and power bomb Matt through it, which Ross says will cause some erection dysfunction. Don’t ask. I’ve always liked the euphoric thing Bubba did when he went through the tables. It was just cool.

The finish here is somehow the coolest part. They head to the entry way where the Dudleys set up double tables. They go up to the top of the set and get on the taxi, where Bubba tries to get a powerbomb. Jeff fights out of it and hits Bubba with a chair to knock him straight back off of it, which looks cool enough as is. After that, D-Von gets put on the table and the Swanton Bomb ends this freaking awesome match.

Rating: A. THIS WAS AWESOME! The spots were completely insane and the chemistry was undeniable here. The crowd ate it up too so it sounded great. There was no story here and there wasn’t supposed to be. There’s nothing wrong with just a wild brawl when it’s done right and this was a great example of that. Just all kinds of fun and the fans bought every bit of it.

Angle is groggy and acts like he has a concussion where he’s only concerned about being undefeated. It’s funnier than it sounds.

We’re now going to have the Miss Rumble pageant. This is coming off the heels of the Kat taking her top off at the last PPV and actually showing on screen for about 2-3 seconds which was a HUGE thing as nudity was actually shown on WWF TV with no issue about it. Of course then the PTC freaked the heck out about it as the company was apparently corrupting children’s minds by showing an adult image on a show that an adult had to order for their children on a show called Armageddon.

Dang, Vince really is trying so hard to corrupt the minds of the youth. It would be so simple to allow a 12 year old to see such a thing. All they would have to do is order a PPV while making sure to sound like an adult on the phone, find some way to keep their parents from noticing them watching it when a show they didn’t order is on, hide the cable bill from their parents and then manage to pay for the show themselves despite likely not having a checking account or a credit card.

I mean really Vince, at least have SOME kind of way to prevent kids from seeing the show. Anyway, this is a beauty pageant and according to the rating, there would be more nudity here. The judges are Slaughter, Tony Garea who no one under 35 knows, Fabulous Moolah, Johnny V and Freddie Blassie who gets a great pop. Lawler is the host for this. First up is Ivory who is wearing a big sweatshirt. Terri is second to a solid pop.

Jackie, who no one likes at all, is third. Fourth is a woman named Barbara Bush who was nicknamed BB and was an EMT or something. She lasted all of a month or two. Luna is 5th as this is going to take awhile. Kat is the final one and she gets a solid pop. She’s women’s champion at the moment. Of all people, the celebrity judge is ANDY RICHTER from “The Conan O’Brien Show.” Seriously that’s what they call it.

This is your standard thing so I’ll skip most of the details. Lawler’s jumping up and down is kind of funny. No one has ever cared about Jackie at all and no one does here either. This really is moronic. Luna, despite wearing a gown that is just buttoned in the front and a thong under it, won’t disrobe. Kat’s is made of bubble wrap. Yep, that’s your Women’s Champion.

Naturally Mae Young comes out and wants to compete also. She disrobes and takes her top off. The look on Lawler’s face when he sees them is priceless. That’s your nudity for the night, and yes, we see them. Mark Henry who was for no apparent reason dating Mae at the time comes out to cover her up. Mae wins unanimously. WZ actually had a link on the main page to a still shot of Mae’s chest. I wish I was making that up.

We go to WWF New York which is new to meet the debuting Coach. Good night that place would have been awesome to attend.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice.

Jericho and Chyna are in the back arguing about who should wear the belt. This was a very interesting angle they did where they were co champions. In other words, they could both defend the title individually but if say Jericho lost, Chyna lost too which made it something different. Unnecessary, but different.

Angle says that since he was choked out, he’s still undefeated.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

This is for the undisputed title. Holly is there because he’s beaten both of them one on one and it’s an even numbered year so we have to give him his next failure of a push. Seriously, he got more pushes than a grandmother that stands in front of a flight of stairs. Chyna was a big deal at the time as a woman legitimately competing with men was unheard of yet she was pulling it off.

Jericho is over to say the least. Jericho was awesome on the mic at this point as you could tell he was just so happy to be out of WCW. This is a standard match for the most part, which means one person goes down and the other two have a short singles match until the third comes back. Jericho is by far and away the favorite here. Chyna hits the handspring elbow which for the life of me I still don’t get the point of.

Chyna and Jericho keep vying to outdo each other and it’s not that interesting. Why in the world did Holly need to be in this? I just don’t get that. Holly takes a slow but decent Pedigree but kicks out anyway. They’re doing a lot of near falls near the end here, which at least is building a bit of drama. It’s not a bad match, but it’s just not that interesting. Jericho hits a Lionsault on Chyna to become undisputed champion, and that’s that.

Rating: C. Like I said, this wasn’t bad but it just wasn’t interesting at all. Holly flat out didn’t need to be in there since he wasn’t even involved in the decision. This wasn’t much, but it was ok and certainly watchable.

Rock, rocking the SWEET Brahma Bull jersey, is in the back with Cole and says that there are two people he’s worried about in the Rumble: Crash Holly and Mosh. Cole questions this so Rock says go have a glass of shut up juice. He calls out Big Show and says that he wants it to wind up as those two in the final pairing. The charisma here is completely ridiculous it’s so high. He really was a god on the mic.

Jericho cuts a traditionally great promo talking about how he’s going to lead the Jerichoholics to the promised land like a pied piper while holding up the Interchrisinental Title.

We recap the APA vs. the Outlaws, which is here because the APA won a battle royal thing.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

After about a two minute entrance we’re ready to go. This match lasts two and a half minutes. The Acolytes beat the champions up. Or do they beat them down? I’m not sure actually. After a short mini match, X-Pac runs down and beats up Bradshaw, allowing Billy to his the Fameasser for the win.

I know that sounds like nothing but there’s just nothing at all to talk about. They brawled for 45 seconds, the Acolytes beat up the champions for a minute or so, then Pac was there for the finish. They much be setting up HHH/Foley for more time or something, which I’m fine with.

Rating: N/A. I can’t rate something this short at all.

Road Dogg says that even though they got beaten up they’re still the champions. You can’t argue that one.

We recap HHH vs. Foley, which started with HHH beating Show clean for the belt and having the McMahon-Helmsley Era run things. Foley calls them out and he’s fired due to losing a pink slip on a pole match. A fake Mankind (Mideon) showed up to make fun of him. Rock and the rest of the roster threatened to leave and form the Rock Wrestling Federation unless Foley was reinstated. Mankind comes back and HHH beats the heck out of him after agreeing to the street fight.

Then, in one of the coolest moments of this era as far as I’m concerned, Mankind comes out and says he’s not ready to fight HHH in a street fight, but he has a replacement ready to go. He pulls open his shirt and takes off the mask and turns into Cactus Jack. HHH is FREAKING and then gets his head handed to him by Jack, setting this up. The level of awesome that Foley was in this multiple personalities thing was just insane on so many levels.

WWF Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

Jack gets a crazy pop and HHH might as well be a Red Sock. Stephanie looks great as usual. I love HHH being so nervous about getting in the ring as it really plays up his being out of his element. The intros take just shy of eternity, but you hear in HHH’s My Time song the words The Marks, The Suits, McMahon. I guess those are people he doesn’t like, which is kind of cool. Finally we’re on.

Foley is called Mankind time after time by Ross. Ross is stuttering like no other. HUGE Cactus Jack chant gets going. It’s all Jack so far. And just as I say that HHH hits a bell shot to the head. Naturally it doesn’t do much. In shades of Rumble 98, Jack runs straight into a chair shot like he’s running home after a day of simple torture as a child. The crowd is hot here as Jack puts the chair on HHH’s head and drops a leg on it.

And that can shatter a skull right Cole? Ross says HHH might be the best technical champion in company history. I’m not even touching that one as it’s so freaking stupid. We hit the crowd and the crowd is making this match better. It’s been hard hitting so far but we’ve been at this five minutes so far. We’re in the entry way now and HHH is getting killed. Remember that the entry way is set up like an alley, so the trash cans being there at least make sense.

This is ALL Cactus here. I love how Foley can become such a better threat with the gimmick change. It really is brilliant. The crowd is rapidly approaching ECW levels here. Basically HHH keeps using his regular stuff and Jack keeps going insane on him with violent stuff. It’s a great bit of storytelling mixed in which almost never happens in these matches. Jack goes under the ring with HHH down and pulls out a 2×4 wrapped in barb wire. Oh yes.

Ross is of course freaking. Due to the idiot of a referee, HHH gets the board and puts Foley down with four stiff shots with it, all to the back and front. That’s brilliant actually as Foley is wearing a shirt which likely has padding underneath it. While I can’t imagine that’s real barb wire, the image is great and for people that aren’t sharp enough to see what’s going on here, it’s a great way to make this match seem about 10 times more violent.

It’s the little things like that which can make a match and it’s doing so here. A board shot to the lower back which is considered a low blow stops the momentum HHH has built up. I love how with low blows half the time they’re not even close to the groin. The crowd booing when the barb wire board is thrown out is just classic stuff. Twelve minutes in we have our first cover. That’s another nice touch as it makes it seem like it’s about the violence rather than the pin here, which is what it’s supposed to be. In case you can’t tell, I really like this match. Granted Foley is my all time favorite wrestler and this was by far his best period, so there we are.

The referee goes down and a barb wire shot to the face puts HHH down. Ross is selling this as insanity on a great level. HHH is bleeding and it’s a very good one. One is right next to his eye which looks even sicker. In a sick looking spot, HHH is trying to get out to the floor but Foley takes the board and the wire and puts it over the very cut forehead of HHH and just pulls back. The screaming is perfect as this match is awesome so far.

Ross here is great on the mic as he’s not getting insane through the whole match. He gets way into it in bursts which makes those moments seem more impressive. That’s the big issue with guys like Cole. He gets into the match WAY too early and it takes away from the later big spots. Ross gets into the big spots but other than that he’s rather calm which helps to build up later stuff, thereby adding credibility to the good stuff.

That’s the mark of a great commentator: they don’t take anything away from the match but they add so much to it, like Ross is doing here. I usually can’t stand him but this is great stuff from him. Jack goes through a table when he goes for a piledriver to get us back to even. HHH’s leg is bleeding, which is a very nice touch. Oddly the table that was destroyed wasn’t Spanish. That’s very odd indeed. MAN that’s a thick cut in his leg.

Cactus hits a bulldog onto the barb wire. One of the major keys here is that it’s completely unclear who is going to win. At the time, no one knew. That can completely make a match as in my eyes it’s the most important thing there is in wrestling. On the floor again, HHH gets a hip block onto the steps and Foley rams his knee into it. Using his generally good psychology, HHH goes for the knee with the barb wire.

The good thing is it’s still a sick thing to do despite how much it’s been used so far in this match alone. From nowhere HHH finds handcuffs and tries to put them on Foley, which after a brief comeback works. This is already a bit uneasy to watch but this is bringing flashbacks to last year. If nothing else there’s a bit of slack in these unlike last year so it looks a bit less awful if nothing else. Jack puts up a heck of a fight despite being in essence armless here. That’s just impressive.

I’ll go with this for how brutal this is: HHH actually breaks the chair from hitting Jack with it so hard. Has that ever happened before? With them back in the entry way, Jack begs HHH to hit him again, but Rock pops in from nowhere to half kill HHH with the chair. A cop pops in and unlocks Jack’s arms and we’re at it again, as the fans are right back into this thing. The piledriver works this time, but the table DOESN’T BREAK.

Think about that. How sick would that look? I mean HHH just stopped cold all of a sudden. We’re back in the ring now, as Jack pulls out a bag of thumbtacks. You have to remember, this is before Abyss made those look like watercolor paints. They were hardly ever used but they’re busting them out here. Jack goes into them via a backdrop just after Stephanie comes out. She’s wearing a leopard print choker, which is the same as Cactus’ boots in a nice little touch.

After that, the Pedigree gets two in what might have been the second cover of the match. Then to finish us off, in one of the sickest spots I’ve ever seen, Cactus gets Pedigreed onto the tacks for the pin. Jack is DEAD. HHH gets the belt and goes to the floor and just collapses. Stretchers come out and of course Jack is up to attack HHH one more time.

They would have a Cell match at No Way Out which was awesome as well where Foley would officially retire, and other than one match which was a surprise he kept true to that for the most part. I’m fine with short comebacks and occasional matches to put people over as he does so often. This made HHH look legit which is exactly what it was designed to do. This was awesome.

Rating: A+. Yes I’m being generous on the grades for this show, but DANG. These two half killed each other out there in easily the best brawl for the title I’ve ever seen. This was insanely violent and HHH came off looking great. There was a legit threat for Foley to take the title here which helped the drama a lot as well.

The blood was great and it added a completely new aspect to HHH’s character that’s still around today. These two beat the heck out of each other and it’s saying a lot when it’s Foley who has the job of making HHH look this great put into his hands, and luckily it worked and it worked very well. Go watch this match as it’s worth it. I’ve heard this match called the match of the decade and off the top of my head I can’t think of a better one.

After some generic interviews, it’s time.

Royal Rumble

D’lo Brown is number one and Grandmaster Sexay is 2nd. He gets a huge pop and we get more bad jokes about him not being Lawler’s kid. We’re doing 90 seconds here. X-Pac is 30th for reasons that would entail him winning some match no one remembered. Let the generic stuff begin. Granted they’re following a classic so there we go. I hate that laugh that Grandmaster does.

Mosh is third, dressed with two foot long cones sticking out of his chest. Kai En Tai runs out, despite not being in the match. They’re easily dispersed so that was completely pointless. They weren’t allowed in due to lack of room in case you were really bored. Mosh is hurt so we’re back to the original pairing while he hangs on the ropes. Christian, who has some of the most awesome music I’ve ever heard at this point, is 4th.

This is always the awkward part of the match as there aren’t enough people to have anything going yet and these guys have a combined chance of zero to do anything so few people really care but it’s better than nothing. Rikishi is 5th, 8 months before it turned out he tried to kill the biggest star in the world. He dumps everyone other than Grandmaster before anyone else comes out. That Rikishi Driver was a freaking awesome move.

Shockingly enough Scotty is 6th and we have the trio in the ring. You know what’s coming, and oddly enough I like this. It makes sense here. They’re all friends and even though it’s every man for themselves, this makes a lot of sense. The fans are very into it so that’s fine, and it doesn’t last long as Rikishi puts both guys out at the same time. I’m ok with that actually as it didn’t last long and it made sense.

Also, there’s still one guy there so it’s not like the next guy has to stand around waiting for a minute and a half. Things like this can work when done right, and this was done right. Also, the fans loved it so that automatically makes it far more ok. Rikishi’s nipples are really close together and it’s very odd looking. After they’re gone, Rikishi dances on his own a bit more. Steve Blackman is in at 7 and is gone in about 45 seconds.

See this right here is something the Rumble can be great at. Rikishi is a somewhat big star here, but he’s getting to show off here and he looks far more impressive now than he did when he came in. That’s a very simple way to get someone over and it worked here. Viscera is 8th and he actually hits a belly to belly on Rikishi. Three super kicks and a shoulder block and Big Daddy V is gone. Again, by just putting out a guy at a time he looks great and dominant.

They’re pushing him without him actually winning a match. Boss Man is 9th but he very slowly gets in. He stands on the floor and lets someone else come in to help him, which is smart. Granted this was considered a violation of the rules back in I think 94 but we can ignore that I think. Test comes in at 10 to a big old pop. I know it sounds absurd now, but he really could have gotten a brief title run sometime around here.

He should have gotten it at Survivor Series, but granted I can’t complain about going with Show when they did as he was completely dominant around that time. British Bulldog is 11th. One good thing here is there’s no dead weight in there to slow things down. Having people like Mosh and Grandmaster to fill out the roster is fine, but there’s no point to having them stay in there a long time, and here you can see why.

They were in the Rumble and there was no chance of them doing anything, so they got out early. It’s clear that the people in there now are higher up on the ladder and they’re in later, which makes them even possible dark horses to steal the thing. That’s very smart booking and some of the best I can ever remember for the Rumble.

Gangrel is 12th to get some jobbers in there which is fine to an extent. Kai En Tai runs out again and get thrown out with Gangrel just KILLING Taka. The bump he takes over the ropes is great as he over rotates and his face slams into the floor and bounces off. Edge is 13th to a solid pop. We get the Taka bump again to the delight of the king. BOB BACKLUND is 14th to a great pop.

Does this guy age? He’s 51 here and looks like he did 20 years ago. A ton of guys get together and throw out Rikishi. I’m impressed by Backlund. He looks great all things considered. Jericho is 15th as I’m loving the booking here. A few things are happening. They’re having little mini stories thrown in here and there to keep the match fresh and it’s working like a charm. It’s keeping the crowd entertained and they’re responding very well.

It’s a smart way to build up to the final guys which is the best way to go. This has been a very good Rumble. Jericho puts out Backlund. Crash Holly is 16th as I’ve never seen the resemblance to Elroy Jetson that everyone says exists. Chyna is 17th as Lawler starts picking everyone as being Rock. She puts Jericho out by suplexing him over the ropes but Boss Man puts her out seconds later.

To recap we have Gangrel, Edge, Test, Boss Man, Bulldog and Crash and they’re joined by Farrooq. The Mean Street Posse comes out as apparently they’re mad about not being in either. Boss Man puts out Farrooq due to their interference. Road Dogg is 19th. We’re kind of hitting a dead spot here as Al Snow is in at number 20. Road Dogg puts out Bulldog as JR makes dog jokes. Venis is 21st. Funaki is thrown out for the third time as Taka is apparently hurt.

That clip never gets old as they show it again. Prince Albert (A-Train) is 22nd as Edge is thrown out by Snow and Venis. Hardcore Holly is next. Amazingly enough, he gets no reaction. Rock is 24th to a HUGE reaction. There goes Boss Man. Billy Gunn is next as we’re getting close to the ending now. There goes Crash by the Rock. Road Dogg has hidden in the corner and has his arms and legs wrapped around the ropes. That’s rather smart.

Big Show is 26th. Rock hits him before he gets in and the pop is there. Test is gone in about 4 seconds. Gangrel lasts a bit longer than Test did against Big Show, making it about 8 seconds. Show still has long hair here so he looks more intimidating. Bradshaw is 27th and the Posse helps the Outlaws put him out with ease. Kane is 28th and we’re getting to the good part now. Tori looks AMAZING in this little black dress.

Kane puts out Snow in a few seconds and then Albert shortly thereafter. Godfather is 29th. I remember my father thinking he could have won this. Thankfully we don’t have a 20 second shot of the women to waste time. Funaki is back again and the joke is stupid now. X-Pac is in at 30 so our final group is X-Pac, Rock, Show, Kane, Snow, Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, Godfather and Holly.

Again note how this is a good thing: there are potential winners in there instead of just one guy that you know is going to get it. Holly is out and we’re down to 8. There goes Godfather as I type that. Snow is gone. Gunn puts out Road Dogg and Kane puts him out within a span of 5 seconds to bring us down to Rock, Show, Pac and Kane. At least the biggest four of the final 9 are left. Kane goes under the ropes to fight the Outlaws for no apparent reason.

X-Pac is thrown out but no one sees it. Kane and Big Show fight over a chokeslam as Kane slams him in a cool spot. Pac puts out Kane despite not being in there officially I guess. The Bronco Buster sucks the life out of this thing for me. Show throws him out with ease and we’re down to the best pairing possible with Big Show and Rock. The elbow gets a great pop. Show gets a chokeslam though to get crazy heat.

Show sets him for kind of a powerslam move which at least makes sense to throw him over but Rock grabs the top rope and Show goes over instead while Rock slides in under the bottom rope. Later on there would be a story where Show says that Rock’s feet actually touched and he had video to prove it. That led to Rock vs. Show at No Way Out for the Mania spot which Show won.

Vince came out and said that yes, Big Show was going to Mania, but the deal never said Rock wasn’t, so we got a triple threat. For no apparent reason, that match happened on Raw the Monday before. Linda then came out and said that it would be a four way at Mania, including the unretired for one night only Mick Foley.

There was a McMahon in every corner as they made sure that the main event of Wrestlemania was again about them instead of the wrestlers. But enough about that as this Rumble was great.

Rating: A-. This is how the Rumble is supposed to be done. Take a look at how they did this. You had the guys that were there to fill in the 30 spots in there first to make sure they were in and had an actual chance. Then we got the smartest move of the match: having Rikishi dominate.

This does a few things: it allows the jobbers to be cleared out as well as making Rikishi look good AND it offers a bridge to the next segment of the match where guys like Test and Boss Man could come in and hang around until we got to the final batch of guys. That’s very smart booking and it made this match work very well.

The Kai En Tai jokes were funny for the most part but it got to being overkill at the end. I was very happy with this whole match though as even though I knew the ending like the back of my hand, it worked and had me entertained. Excellent Rumble.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show. There’s one stupid part with the tag titles but if that was done to give the two main events more time then I’m completely fine with it. There was still a match there and they didn’t try to put an emphasis on a match that few would have been the most interested in rather than taking away from two great main events.

This was validation that the company could thrive without Austin and while I think he brings a lot to the table, he needed to go away for awhile to let some others get to his level. That was the issue: Rock or HHH or other people couldn’t get up to where Austin was because he was so high up there that it was impossible for anyone to touch him. His time taking time off gave everyone else a year to catch up, which was exactly what they needed. Definitely worth checking out.

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Monday Night Raw – January 16, 2012 – Ace….With Emotion?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2012
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Monday and if I didn’t know any better, I’d have no idea that the Rumble was less than two weeks away. Has any Raw guy mentioned being in the Rumble at all? We’ve had nothing but the Cena vs. Kane stuff with Ryder running scared. Ryder defends the US Title tonight and for some reason Perez Hilton is here. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is about Martin Luther King.

Let’s Burn It To The Ground.

Here’s Foley to open the show. He talks about enjoying being a non physical presence, including hosting This Is Your Life John Cena. However, his kids got to see him perform, (including being in the main event of Wrestlemania in this arena). He does have two other kids though, who haven’t seen him perform. Due to that, he’s entering the Rumble.

Cue Vickie and Ziggler. Ziggler yells at him about taking up a spot in the Rumble from someone else that could use it more. Foley says it might be a huge mistake but he’ll be there to win it. Ziggler talks about everything he’s done to get to this point in his career and how he can’t imagine facing someone fat like Foley at Mania for his world title. He tells Foley to go home, get a new shirt, eat a salad and go home.

Cue Punk who is glad to see Foley. Punk says that he and Foley are a lot alike in that they’re unconventional and don’t look like the rest of the WWE roster. He makes fun of Ziggler’s look and Ace in general. They get in an argument with Vickie and here’s Ace. He says he’ll be fair at the Rumble and says he’ll consider Foley in the Rumble. After about 2 seconds, he says no. Vickie laughs at him and that’s it.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom

Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There’s a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.

Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn’t very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it’s Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.

Ace is in the back when Otunga comes in. He hands Ace an envelope which isn’t spoken of again. Someone comes in and Ace puts him in the main event: a six man with Bryan/Punk vs. Otunga/Ziggler/Henry. It’s Jericho, who turns off the lights, turns on the jacket, and poses.

The envelope that Otunga handed Ace was a doctor’s update on Ryder. We go to the back where Ryder is with Eve. His ribs are all taped up. Josh comes up and they say that he’s in no condition to compete. He says he won’t forfeit the title and Eve says she’ll go with him.

We get a video from last week about Kane/Ryder/Cena and all that stuff.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

After a break Ace says that Ryder wasn’t medically cleared. And that’s it.

Great and no it’s Hilton time. He’s booed out of the freaking building. Thank you Anaheim.

Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox vs. Bella Twins

Perez breaks up Twin Magic and Kelly gets a rollup at 55 seconds. GET RID OF THIS DIVISION ALREADY.

Rumble moment: 92 with Flair’s marathon. Heenan’s reaction to Flair being #3 is left out here for no apparent reason.

Here’s Truth but before he can say anything cue Barrett. Barrett: “R-Truth…if that’s even your real name.” Ok that made me smile. Truth is officially in the Rumble and Foley isn’t. Truth says Barrett talks funny. The fans are allowed to WHAT him. Truth went to Disneyland this morning and it made him smile. He has a slideshow to show us. First of all he met Mickie and Minnie. And Donald Duck.

Then he met Pinocchio who said Barrett is winning the Rumble. The picture of Pinocchio’s nose grows. Truth: “I don’t even know if that’s PG.” Truth bashes Barrett when Miz jumps him. Sheamus makes the save. Cue Teddy who is here because….I have no idea. Let’s have an over the top rope challenge.

Sheamus vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

After the feuds pair off, everyone joins up to throw out Barrett. Truth and Sheamus get into it but Miz takes them both down. Sheamus “hits” three double axes (and by that I mean they missed by six inches each) and the forearms to the chest. Brogue Kick misses and Miz can’t knock him out. Sheamus tries to put him out but Truth throws them both out to win at 5:10.

Rating: D. The match was just there but the point was to remind people that the Rumble is actually happening. Not bad and nice to play up the anyone can win aspect. Barrett going out first like that was kind of surprising. Still though, it was nothing special, but it wasn’t really supposed to be.

Miz gets his head kicked off post match.

Cena comes in to yell at Ace who makes Cena vs. Kane for the PPV. Cena vs. Swagger is…next?

Jack Swagger vs. John Cena

Cena takes his head off before the bell even rings. Out to the floor and Cena keeps destroying him. The bell never rang and Cena beats the tar out of him. Let me guess: embrace the hate right? Cena sets to crush Swagger’s skull with the steps but cue Kane’s pyro and music. Kane pops up on the monitor and says Cena will have embraced the hate by the Rumble. You know, because Cena has NEVER been violent or aggressive before right? Give me a break. There was no match.

Here’s Brodus who has a new intro with I’m assuming his dancing chicks talking about how he’s the only Funkasaurus in captivity.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

JTG gets molested but he does manage to get in a punch. Brodus does his chatting during the match. Corner splash sets up the cross body and we’re done at 1:09. The finisher is called Funky. Ok then.

We recap Show running over AJ last week.

Here’s Bryan for an update on her. He runs down Big Show for what happened and says they were fake tears. Show should never show his face on Smackdown. Violence is threatened if he does appear. Bryan is dedicating his match Friday to AJ.

Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry/David Otunga

Punk vs. Ziggler gets us going. The champ takes over to start and a snap suplex gets two. Off to Bryan who might have tweeked his knee. Ziggler DDTs it and it’s off to Otunga. Bryan takes a beating but it’s off to Punk vs. Otunga. Notice that Jericho hasn’t been in there yet. Ziggy comes back in and stomps away on the champ. Punk gets in a shot and Jericho wants in but Ziggler stops it and it’s back to Otunga.

Naturally Punk beats him down, hits the Macho Elbow and it’s off to Jericho. Jericho plays to the crowd instead of going after Otunga though….and tags out to Bryan, walks up the ramp, and leaves. We take a break as no one is quite sure what’s going on. Back with Bryan in trouble and it’s off to Punk quickly. He hits the springboard clothesline but Henry comes in. Everything breaks down and Bryan pops Henry, but Mark screams at him. Bryan hobbles away and they fight up the aisle.

Ok so it’s 2-1 now more or less. Henry is beating Bryan up….and here’s Foley? The fans seemingly boo this out of the building but it’s hard to tell. Fameasser gets two on Punk. Punk gets in a kick and it’s off to Foley who gets a pop so I must have misunderstood the reaction earlier. He destroys Otunga and hits the running knee in the corner. Double arm DDT hits and it’s Socko! It gets the win at 14:43.

Rating: C. Well that was a mess. Foley and Punk are announced as the winners and I have no idea how you get to that conclusion. Either way, the match was a mess with a bunch of stuff with some wrestling thrown in. I really don’t get what they were going with here but it continues the working theme that nothing has much of a plan that I can see.

Ace comes out post match and reverses the decision. Punk gets in his face and says the reason Ace doesn’t like Punk is because Ace never was anything but a look. He was the brother of a Road Warrior but he was nothing more than roadkill. It kills Ace that he never made it to this level as a competitor. Punk swears he’s going to get cheated at the Rumble because Ace can’t stand that Punk is the champion. No matter what, Punk will still be better than Ace because the people will be talking about Ace for the first time, but it’ll be because Punk is going to destroy him. Punk fakes him out with a punch and calls Ace pathetic.

Punk leaves and Foley gets Ace a very funny double thumbs up. Ace is ticked off but we’re not done yet. He says he’ll be the future permanent GM of Raw and he won’t be intimidated by Punk. Foley says just admit that you’re going to screw Punk. He calls Ace a sycophant, which is New York Times bestsellerish for kiss-up. Ace wants to know who Foley thinks he is. He admits he’s going to screw Punk because he’s tired of being bullied because he’s not appreciated for putting on the best shows he can. He hits Foley with the mic

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show tonight. I’ve certainly seen worse, but the booking ticked me off. The whole US Title changing hands is stupid as they had Ryder get one of the most unique pushes ever and then he loses the title less than a month later? WHY? Anyway other than that (and the announcers being more excited about Perez Hilton than a title change), the show was just kind of there. They’ve barely built up to the Rumble at all which is pretty stupid, but hey it’s not like PPV means anything anymore right? It’s about TV ratings and that’s it it seems. The ending however helped the title scene A LOT.

Results
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Gutwrench powerbomb
Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Rollup to Brie Bella
R-Truth b. The Miz, Sheamus and Wade Barrett in an over the top rope challenge
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Funky
Dolph Ziggler/David Otunga/Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/Chris Jericho via DQ when Mick Foley interfered

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Ryder Loses US Title To Swagger

Yes WWE, let’s make sure that no one the fans decide gets a sustained push. Better put the title on a hand selected guy instead. Those fans don’t know what they’re talking about. He had one of the most unique rises up the card in years and they make him a coward who won’t throw a single punch at Kane after less than a month. This company REALLY makes me mad at times.




What Killed WCW (Full Version)

Those of you that have read my stuff for years now (thanks for that) know that I like to talk about WCW. The company officially closed over ten years ago and yet there are still people that talk about how great it was. Now yes, WCW had some absolutely dreadful stuff over the years, most of which I’ve at least touched on. However, what people forget is that WCW had some flat out AWESOME stuff that today’s WWE wishes they could do. WCW had WWF beaten and then screwed up, and today Vince McMahon and WWE rule the wrestling world totally and completely.

Now, there have been books written about how WCW died and went out of business and all that. However, there are a few things we’re not quite clear on and to be fair, I don’t think there’s a clear answer out there. As you’ve probably guessed from the title, the purpose of this piece is to try to figure out who killed WCW, when it happened, what caused it. This is very important to start things off with: I don’t have a specific answer to those questions as I write this. I’ve tried to figure these answers out for years and I thought maybe by writing it out I could come to some sort of conclusion. When I started reviewing the late WCW shows I thought about doing this and was going to call it “Jumping the Shark Backwards”, but I never got around to it. Here it is now though, so let’s see if we can figure it out.

One major note: about 99% of this isn’t researched and most of it is coming off the top of my head, so if I mess up a few dates or names, don’t be surprised.

Another warning: this is LONG. It’s easily the longest piece I’ve ever written on wrestling so don’t expect it to be quick like a lot of other things I write. There are stats, history lessons, my thoughts on things, and a lot of other stuff. It reads almost like a college paper so this is going to take awhile to get through.

To begin with, I’ll give you a brief(ish) history of WCW. For the sake of clarity, we’re going to say that WCW officially started when Ted Turner took over the company, which took place on November 21, 1988. Now before I explain how we got there, I’ll go a bit further back into history. Not that it’s important to this, but I like talking about the history of the sport I love. If you’re already familiar with the way the territory system and Jim Crockett Promotions worked, skip ahead a little. The first paragraph after the history lesson begins with “Now that we know how it started, how did it die?”

See, today wrestling is way different than it originally had started as. WAY back in the day (as in like before the 1950s) you would have local territories and local promoters would run their individual areas. To cross over into another promoter’s territory was almost an act of war, which would somewhat be the case into the mid 80s. In 1948, a group of promoters combined to form the organization known as the NWA. The basic idea was they would all still run their territories, but there would be one name over all of them and one champion to rule them all. Local champions would exist, but the NWA World Champion would travel around.

For a non-wrestling analogy, think of the NCAA. You have your Big East, your ACC, your SEC and so on, but they’re all members of the NCAA and while you’ll have conference champions, there’s one NCAA Champion. Then imagine that champion traveled to individual conferences, wore trunks and tried to pin the other players down.

Anyway, this was the dominant situation for about 12 years, until two guys named Toots Mondt and Vince McMahon Senior thought that the NWA Champion, Lou Thesz, wasn’t a good enough draw in the northeast where they ran a territory. They withdrew from the NWA and changed their name to the World Wide Wrestling Federation (that’s about as abridged and simplified as saying a babies come from a mother’s stomach but you get the idea).

More companies eventually did this and the NWA started to realize they were in trouble. At the same time, a man named Jim Crockett promoted in the Carolinas area. His son took over the company and became president of the NWA. At the same time, Vince McMahon Jr. (the Vince that most of you are familiar with, had a radical idea: what if wrestling was a national product? I want this to be clear: this was INSANE at the time. Nothing had ever been attempted like this and most people laughed at him.

Then Vince got evil on them. He started going around and taking up all of the talent around the country from various promotions. Now his dad had this wrestler that was a heel, but was offered a part in a big Hollywood movie. Vince Sr. said you’re a wrestler, not an actor (there’s a joke in there somewhere) so if you take the movie, you’re gone. The wrestler took the movie, became a sensation, then went to the AWA, wore red and yellow, and Hulkamania was born. Vince Jr. bought his father out, brought back Hogan, and the rest is history.

Now around this time, Jim Crockett Jr. (both big time players in the 80s were juniors. Kind of interesting) had taken over and came up with an idea of his own: why can’t I own more than one territory? So basically, Crockett did the same thing Vince did: he went around and bought up every major name in a bunch of territories or flat out bought the territory itself. He had his own empire going in the southeast and for all intents and purposes, he owned the NWA (note that officially he didn’t but he owned about 90% of the talent anyone would want to see).

Crockett did really well for awhile, namely on the strength of the Flair vs. Dusty feud and the Four Horsemen. He had a national TV show on Ted Turner’s TBS station and life was good. The problem was he had a booker named Dusty Rhodes, and Rhodes was a little crazy. He would create what is known as the Dusty Finish, which would involve a fall going down and then something happening to cancel it, he created the Bunkhouse Stampede, which was a cage match battle royal where the idea was to throw people out of the cage (think about that for a minute and guess who won) and then came up with the idea of putting the world title on Rick Steiner, who was more or less the Eric Young of his day.

Combine this with Crockett overspending on things like jets and buying all these promotions and Ronnie Garvin as world champion and Vince messing with his PPV debut and Hulkamania and it’s no wonder why he was broke relatively soon. Enter Ted Turner, who bought the promotion flat out and took over on November 21, 1988, which is where we’ll say WCW began.

Now that we know how it started, how did it die? You’ll hear a lot of different theories about this, but for this case, I think we should use the process of elimination. Now for an opening suspect, the most common answer is the day that Jamie Kellner, one of the new bosses at AOL-Time Warner, canceled WCW programming on TBS and TNT. I’ve heard the argument and statements that it was that move that killed WCW and it’s still as stupid today as it was then.

Just think about this for a few seconds. Kellner had built up a lot of what was the FOX Network dominance. The guy knew what he was doing. Do you really think he would have killed off WCW programming if it still had value? By 2001 when the switch was pulled, WCW had been driven so far into the ground that there was absolutely no way that it was going to come back. Scratch that. It could have, but it was going to take YEARS to do.

Why in the world would they want to keep the company on the air when it was so damaged and bleeding money like it was already doing? This idea that Kellner and his cutting off the programming was what killed WCW is just wrong on all levels. He didn’t kill WCW. He simply put it out of its misery.

We’ll move back in time for the rest of this and go to Bash at the Beach 2000. This is a far less likely candidate because it’s really not that remembered. The idea here is that there was some kind of worked shoot which we’re still not sure how much was a work and how much was a shoot. It was Hogan vs. Jarrett for the title, Jarrett laid down, Hogan got the title and was never seen again. Russo came out later and buried him and made Booker vs. Jarrett the main event where Booker got the world title.

What did this wind up meaning? Nothing. The ratings didn’t go up, no one ever mentioned Hogan again, and Booker was moved up to the main event out of nowhere. A telling sign about WCW and the state of their world title at the time though: Booker is famous for being a five time world champion in WCW right? He won all of those in a span of about 9 months, including a span where he was injured for awhile. The title at this point was completely worthless because no one could keep it more than 5 minutes. We’ll get back to that very soon. This isn’t the right answer either so let’s keep going.

The next suspect is one David Arquette. I’m sure you’re all familiar with this story. For some reason WCW thought it would be a good idea to have a movie featuring the company. In short, it BOMBED, but that’s not the point here. In an effort to market the film, WCW took one of its actors and made him HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. Yes, an actor was world champion at the same time that HHH was WWF Champion.

So to the shock of no one, the angle bombed and they didn’t take the title off him immediately. Instead, they let David Arquette keep the title until Slamboree 2000 where they had a triple cage match with him vs. Jarrett vs. DDP. Jarrett won the title after Arquette was standing on top of the cage by himself for a few minutes and could have grabbed the title. While it’s a stretch, it could be argued that this was more of making the title look worthless. You know, beyond the fact that the real life husband of Monica from Friends was WCW World Champion.

Let’s compare this to WWF and Drew Carey who was in the 2001 Royal Rumble. In 2001 he was promoting a comedy PPV and Vince put him in the Rumble. He took the spot that was going to either Chaz (Mosh from the Headbangers) or D’Lo Brown. Both Carey and David are about the same level of celebrity status and they’re here to promote something that not a lot of people are going to watch anyway. What does the WWF do?

They replace a jobber in a match where he absolutely won’t be missed. Think about it: what would Brown or Mosh do in the match? Hang around for about seven minutes and be destroyed by either Taker or Kane or someone like that. Would anyone really miss either of them being in there? Not in the slightest. Instead, you get a celebrity in the match where he might bring in a few fans to the show. See, that’s how you use celebrities.

You put them in a place where they don’t make a big difference at all, but they seem like they do. That’s smart business. You give up a little something and while you likely won’t get a big payoff, you might get a decent one. If not, you lost Mosh or D’Lo for one night. That’s something you can live with and if nothing else, Drew gets publicity and you look like nice guys. Now on the other hand you have WCW, where a celebrity of about equal status was there trying to promote something.

What does WCW do? THEY MAKE HIM WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, thereby making the wrestlers look pathetic, the title look like a joke, their PPV look like a bigger freak show than a pro wrestling show normally is, an more or less drive yet another spike into their own coffin.

Instead of having him do something stupid with Disco Inferno or something for like 5 minutes on Nitro, they said that this actor is on equal footing with the champions of the other major company at the time, which at that time would have been HHH. See why they went out of business so fast?

To top it off, at the end of the show, Kanyon came out to help save DDP from a beatdown. Mike Awesome then threw Kanyon off the triple cage and through the ramp as the announcers said that this was the worse On top of that, Arquette came back at another PPV later on. Again, no one cared. The movie bombed, the title looked completely worthless, and WCW slipped one step further to worthlessness. We’ll call this the first of the potential suspects.

In reverse chronological order:
1. David Arquette Wins World Title – May 7, 2000

Now we get to the first of the big guns and something that I’ve considered a possible suspect in the past: the departure of the Radicalz. You have to remember that WCW had started their big run in 1996 on the idea of taking talent from the WWF. Now this had already happened in the form of Big Show a year prior and Chris Jericho about 4 months before, but this was a large group of people going at the same time. Now let’s take a look at what this meant both individually and then collectively.

We’ll start with the biggest of the four in Chris Benoit. Whether it was for the sake of trying to get him to stay or not, he had been given the WCW World Title just before he left. In other words, whomever was the next champion had no claim to the title. Why should I buy him as the best when the guy that was champion never lost it at all? The same thing happened to Lex Luger back in 1991, which I assure you we’ll get to later on.

Second is Eddie Guerrero. Now he was never nearly as big as Benoit was back in WCW but he was certainly worth something. He gave solid Cruiserweight Title matches and had arguably the best match in WCW’s history with Rey Mysterio at Halloween Havoc 1997. Eddie was the best of all of the Hispanic wrestlers there and it gave them a door into Latin America, along with guys like Juvy and Mysterio.

Saturn was a rising star in WCW, having won some tag titles in 99 and having a few runs as TV Champion as well. His popularity was growing, so WCW made him wear a dress and hook back up with Raven. Saturn kept getting cheered so he and Benoit were shoved down in favor of guys like the Jersey Triad and the reformed Harlem Heat. Oh and the Steiners. We don’t want to forget them.

Malenko is probably the weakest of the whole team, but he was certainly good for some solid mat work as well as being one of the members of the Horsemen (there’s a long thing that could be written on how badly that group was screwed up past about 1995 but that’s another story). Anyway, he wasn’t great but he was another loss.

So we combine all these guys into one unit that bailed on WCW in January of 2000 and showed up on Raw before February hit. Now what does this mean? First and foremost, those are four guys worth of at least watchable matches that you have to replace. At the end of the day, it’s a wrestling program. You have guys like Benoit and Malenko and Guerrero and Saturn out there having long matches on these shows and taking up a lot of the PPV time. Let’s say there are three matches between the four of them at 12 minutes apiece. Counting promos and entrances, you’re losing almost an hour or 1/3 of a PPV. That’s a lot of time to fill.

When guys like them leave, you have to fill their spots. For fun, let’s take a look at the three PPVs before they left and the three after and compare the matches in the spots on the cards with the Radicalz and the ones without them. The three beforehand were Mayhem 1999, Starrcade 1999 and Souled Out 1999. The three after they left were SuperBrawl 2000, Uncensored 2000 and Spring Stampede 2000.

At Mayhem, the matches involving the Radicalz were an eleven minute elimination tag third on the card and the main event for the world title which ran 18 minutes. Starrcade: fourth on the card was an 8 man tag lasting 5 minutes and the next to last was a ladder match for the US Title running 10 minutes. Souled Out was a two and a half minute opener, a ten minute hardcore match on sixth and a fifteen minute main event for the world title. On average, their matches ran about 24 minutes per show.

By comparison to the three shows after they were gone in the same spots on the cards: at SuperBrawl the third match had 3 Count and Norman Smiley lasting four minutes and the main event had Sid Vicious, Scott Hall and Jeff Jarrett running about 8 minutes. Uncensored saw Brian Knobbs vs. 3 Count for the Hardcore Title taking up 7 minutes and the next to last match was Sid vs. Jarrett running seven and a half. Spring Stampede was another handicap with Flair/Luger vs. the Mamalukes/Harris Brothers running 6 minutes, Sting vs. Booker for six and a half and Jarrett vs. Page for 15 minutes. The averages for these matches: 18 minutes per show.

That may not mean much, but it means the matches were shorter on average and instead of guys like Benoit and Saturn, you’re getting 3 Count and Brian Knobbs. Instead of Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko, you’re getting Sid and Jeff Jarrett. Some of those may sound interesting, but which matches do you think are going to be train wrecks and which do you think are going to be good technical matches with good intensity?

In other words, the Radicalz leaving left a big hole in the card and instead of replacing them with younger wrestlers, the answer was more old guys, which was a major criticism of WCW at the time. The problem with the Radicalz leaving was that the company lost a lot of their young talent that was able to put on long matches and eat up PPV time. After they left, you get things like handicap matches and boy bands. Combining that with the further damage to the world title and it’s pretty easy to add the Radicalz leaving to the list of suspects as to what killed WCW.

In reverse chronological order:
1. David Arquette Wins World Title – May 7, 2000
2. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000

Just before then in the fall of 1999, Smackdown debuted as a regular show for the WWF. Due to this, Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara, the writers for WWF, left and went over to WCW. Since WCW was the only other game in town, both guys headed down south (because WCW is a southern company don’t you know) and decided that it wasn’t Foley and Taker and Rock and Austin and the young guys that had made WWF the dominant force in the last 18 months. It was all about the WRITERS, not the wrestlers.

Russo’s first major show as head writer was at Halloween Havoc 1999 and things almost immediately went downhill. To begin with, on the first show we had a “shoot” where Hogan laid down for Sting to pin him. No reasoning was ever given for this, but hey, it’s a shoot so it’s good right? Also we had Goldberg vs. Sting in the last match of the night because the match that you could have seen as the main event of Starrcade a mile away should be thrown onto the end of the PPV unannounced and it should last 3 minutes right?

You had ludicrous gimmicks (That 70s Guy, Screaming Norman, Oklahoma etc), more swearing, more semi-clothed women, a lot more people talking about how things were behind the scenes, and a lot more title changes. Here are a few more numbers for you stats people. We’ll take a look at how many times the WCW World Title changed hands in the years from 97-99 and then the year 2000.

In 1997, the world title changed hands 3 times, in 98 it changed hands 6 times, in 99 13 times, and then in Russo’s first year: 24 times, or once about every 2 weeks. The world title changed hands or was vacated seven times in January alone. In 2000, the title was vacated or stripped six times. Like we talked about before, why should I buy whomever the next champion is if they didn’t win the title? Also during this stretch, Arquette and Vince Russo himself were world champions. While TV ratings went up, the limited integrity that WCW had left as well as the general idea of what wrestling still was were thrown away for the sake of shock value and soap opera style television.

You’ll often hear that the difference between WWF and WCW under Russo was that there was a filter in the form of Vince McMahon. The differences is that at the end of the day, the big matches of the WWF Pay Per Views were usually awesome. You were getting Austin vs. Foley and HHH vs. Rock and Rock vs. Austin and Undertaker vs. Foley and Foley vs. Rock and there was some great wrestling going on. Yes it was all over the top and there were a lot of wild brawls, but what mattered was who got the 1-2-3.

In short, the WWF World Title was treated as something special. Instead of these matches happening on Raw, they happened on PPV. Remember those 24 world title changes in a year? Of those 24, 7 took place on PPV. The world title changed hands or was vacated on Nitro or Thunder SEVENTEEN TIMES IN A YEAR. By comparison, over in the WWF in the year 2000, the title changed hands 5 times, once on TV. Since Monday Night Raw debuted, the WWE Championship has changed hands 19 times IN TOTAL on something other than PPV, one of which was at a house show and one of which was it being vacated due to injury and being announced on WWE.com.

In short, Russo’s regime made the WCW World Title look a lot more worthless than it ever had before. With stuff ranging from the title being vacated to everything happening for free on TV instead of PPV, to constantly vacating the title, to David Arquette as champion, to Vince Russo as champion, why in the world would I want to see a WCW World Title match? The problem was that no one did want to.

The world title was probably the biggest thing he killed, but you also have to factor in things like the idiotic angles (pinata on a poll, That 70s Guy/The Fat Chick Thriller, Duggan turns Canadian, the Graveyard match (exactly what it sounds like), to Scott Steiner’s main event push, to Jeff Jarrett’s main event push and more stuff I’ve probably blocked out of my memory. He took a wrestling company and turned it into whatever WCW was from late 99 to the year 2000, so we’ll have to add him to the list. The minute he was hired, things were put on a very slippery slope and they never recovered.

In reverse chronological order:
1. David Arquette Wins World Title – May 7, 2000
2. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
3. Vince Russo Hired – October 5, 1999

But could they have survived before that? Let’s keep looking.

Russo and Ferrara were hired in October, but for the majority of the year, 1999 wasn’t all that bad for WCW. I mean, ignoring the bad storylines, bad matches, getting destroyed by WWF more and more every night in the ratings, trying to come up with ways to stop the downward spiral and all that jazz, WCW had a passable year in 1999. Except for that first Nitro of the year.

This would be the famous January 4, 1999 rematch between Nash and Goldberg. For the sake of this, I’m just going to give you the match and some of its build. The idea is that Goldberg was arrested on stalking charges but Liz was faking the whole thing. Hogan had come in and said that he’d fight Nash for the title instead. Here’s the match, and the night that changed wrestling forever (granted Tony say that every night). I’ll throw in the segment we saw just before the match as well.

Goldberg is released from jail, making him yell at cops. He wants an escort to get to the Georgia Dome, which keep in mind, is across the street. Ok at this point, there are about 12 minutes left in the show. Let’s see how long it takes him to cross the street.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has Scott Steiner with him. Keep in mind his last match was back in October. What a coincidence that he’s here. I always wonder what’s going through their heads when things like these are about to happen. Nash comes out with Scott Hall, so the Outsiders are back again I guess. Keep in mind that this is, yet again, NWO vs. NWO. Hogan is in street clothes.

These are NOT taped matches mind you. There’s the bell, Nash mocks Hogan’s shirt rip. There was a commercial in between Goldberg leaving the police station and the introductions, so adding on let’s say three minutes for that, he left the station about nine minutes before the bell rang. They circle each other and the crowd is white hot. “This is what WCW is all about” according to Tony. Nash shoves Hogan, Hogan pokes Nash in the chest, Nash goes down, Hogan wins the title.

The four guys flood the ring and Goldberg arrives, in a car that he was driving. It happens to be the same car he went to the police station in, and it’s not a police car. So did the cops just steal his car or did he steal the unmarked cop car? The fans TOTALLY turn on the ending and are furious but HERE’S GOLDBERG! Down goes Steiner. Down goes Hall. Add Nash to that. Hogan gets some shots in but takes an AWFUL spear.

Goldberg sets for the Jackhammer, but Lex Luger comes out and beats up Goldberg, joining the NEW NWO! Yes, this is the NWO being reformed, two and a half years after it started. Goldberg gets handcuffed to the ropes and taze the heck out of him. He gets the spraypaint treatment as the fans want Sting. He would show up….two and a half months later. Hogan sprays the belt with the red paint and Steiner does the hand sign to end the show.

Now there are a lot of problems with this but most of them are short term based and that’s not what we’re looking for here. At the end of the day, while it was bad, I’m actually going to say that the Fingerpoke of Doom and the night that they threw away the whole potential ratings win due to Foley and all that jazz actually wasn’t actually a major contributor to the death of WCW. The ratings didn’t fall off a cliff or anything and while it brought Hogan back to the title, it had been done already by Hogan vs. Sting (oh believe me, that’s coming). Hogan was only champion for about two months and after that things went back to normal.

It really wasn’t that much of a problem in the long term. Things had already been falling apart and the fans were annoyed enough at Goldberg losing the title. Yeah things were bad and it’s probably the most infamous moment in WCW history, but it’s not like things were guided by this one moment for all time and eternity. They had won one week out of the last four months and other than the Warrior months they didn’t do anything at all in the ratings. It was bad and everyone rolls their eyes at it, but it really didn’t change anything long term and probably to the shock of some of the people reading this, I’m not going to call the Fingerpoke of Doom a suspect in what killed WCW.

In December of 98, Nash won the title from Goldberg. Now this is something that’s kind of interesting I think. It’s famous for being the moment that broke the Streak and the rise of Nash and all that jazz, but what else did it mean long term? Now the answer that you’ll often hear is that they screwed up Goldberg with this, but I’m not sure if I buy into that or not. Let’s think about this for a minute.

What we’re supposed to believe is that Goldberg was going to be the WCW version of Austin. The problem with that is simple: Goldberg wasn’t really a character. He ran through everyone and do you ever remember him talking? It would happen once in awhile, but all he had going for him was the Streak. Austin was an interesting character who fought a war against Vince and was the voice of a generation that was sick of what they had been seeing. Goldberg was bald and wore black trunks. That’s about the extent of his similarities to Austin.

Goldberg was a character that had very little depth to him, and there was one major problem to him: he had to lose eventually. No matter who beat him, once he lost, his mystique was going to be gone. Without the Streak, unless there were some MAJOR alterations made to Goldberg’s character, I really don’t see him being a viable character for all that long. Once you get past the quick squashes, what else is there to him? The answer to that is not much, so I really don’t buy the argument that they crippled a potentially huge character or anything like that. It was a bad move, but it shouldn’t be a suspect.

A small thing that could be considered a suspect would be the formation of the NWO Wolfpac. After months and months of infighting between the NWO, they seemed like they were finally going to die. And then they completely changed plans and formed the NWO Wolfpac to give us not a dead NWO, but TWO NWOS! It was a sign that things weren’t going to get any better, because WCW had no idea what the fans wanted. Actually, I’m going to probably get some disagreements for this but I think it’s the fourth possibility.

In reverse chronological order:

1. David Arquette Wins World Title – May 7, 2000
2. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
3. Vince Russo Hired – October 5, 1999
4. Formation of NWO Wolfpac – May 4, 1998

Going back a little further into WCW history, there wasn’t much else to talk about in 1998 (other than the whole losing the ratings night to Raw on April 13), so let’s jump to one of the BIG guns: Starrcade 1997.

Now this one requires some backstory I’d think. Back in September of 1996, WCW had been reeling from the assault of the NWO and it led up to their first WarGames match against each other. Earlier that month, Sting had allegedly turned heel and joined the black and white, but in reality it was a fake and Sting hadn’t been there. He had been the fourth guy on the team for WCW but they weren’t sure if he’d show up. Sting showed up and destroyed the NWO on his own, but then walked out on WCW.

After a promo a few months later on Nitro telling the fans that he wouldn’t be around much anymore, Sting stopped showing up other than once in awhile. Now he was dressed in black and white and no one was sure as to what side he was on. Until March and Uncensored, no one had any idea. Then at the end of the show and another WCW win, Sting dropped from the rafters and laid the NWO out, confirming that he was WCW and blowing the roof off the joint.

After more months of not talking, all roads led to Starrcade and Sting’s first match in over a year against Hogan for the world title. Now before we even get to the match, there’s more backstory that you need. About a month and a half before Starrcade there was a show called Survivor Series and it was in the city of Montreal. If you need an explanation of what happened there, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS? Anyway, Bret Hart is now in WCW and he’s making his debut at Starrcade…..as a guest referee in the match between Eric Bischoff and Larry Zbyszko. I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in.

Anyway, after months they finally got together. Now here’s how the match SHOULD have gone: Hogan won’t come out. He locks himself in his dressing room or whatever and just won’t fight. WCW guys kick the door in and literally drag him kicking and screaming to the ring. He tries to run and the Giant and Luger carry him back to the ring and they stand guard of him until Sting gets there. The bell rings, Hogan MIGHT get a punch or two in and Sting just beats the tar out of him for about 3 minutes, Stinger Splash, Scorpion Death Lock, new champion, we’re out in 5 minutes. THAT’S IT.

Hogan instead struts down the aisle, playing the belt like a guitar like there isn’t a single thing to be afraid of. The match begins, and Hogan destroys him. I mean Sting gets in something like 4 moves the whole first five minutes of the match and what was the hottest crowd this side of ECW ten minutes ago is DEAD. After a LONG match which is just terrible, we get to the bad part. Since there’s so much stuff in here that you need to know to get the full horribleness of it, here’s an excerpt from my original review:

Stinger Splash of course misses on the floor. That could have gotten the fans to cheer so we couldn’t have that of course right? With Sting more or less out on his feet, there’s the big boot and legdrop. As he’s in the air, Bret Hart walks by the front of the ring. Keep that in mind. Patrick does a semi-fast count for the clean pin. Hart keeps the bell from ringing and shouts at Patrick and half into the microphone that he won’t let it happen again. He hits Patrick, throws Hogan back into the ring, the NWO runs in and gets beaten up, Splash and Scorpion ends the match and Sting wins the title. The WCW guys run in for the massive celebration and we end the show.

Now the fun part: explaining why this was absolutely horrendous.

For those of you that haven’t heard the history, here was the new plan that for some reason that I’m not sure God himself understands. Nick Patrick, the referee, had been very biased towards the NWO in the recent months. He was supposed to make a fast count, leading to Bret Hart running down and saying he wouldn’t let this become Montreal all over again (not in those words but that was the idea). Two things caused this cluster of a plan to fall apart: Patrick counts a relatively normal count, and Hart is there before the bell rings. With Patrick counting normal speed, it looks like Sting just got pinned in a normal match.

Another problem with the whole fast count thing: Sting stayed down. You can see him getting up about 20 seconds later when Bret is arguing with Patrick. If this was supposed to be a fast count then Sting should have popped up a split second after the three correct? Instead he popped up almost half a minute later and looked like he could barely get up if his life depended on it. If this was supposed to be a fast count, why did no one tell Sting that was the finish? Could it be that he knew it would bomb?

The announcers don’t bring up Patrick’s heel tactics, and they touch on it being a fast count. They don’t have time because instead of Hart running down to the ring like he was supposed to, he was already there, so he stops the bell from ringing about two seconds after the pin. He says it won’t happen again, which makes no sense to non-WWF fans, or to wrestling fans in general. Since he was a referee earlier in the night, he is apparently has refereeing powers all night, so he jumps in as referee. Sting hits the splash, the scorpion, and he gets the title to end the show. Two weeks later, the title is held up vacant, and Sting FINALLY pins Hogan mostly clean in LATE FEBRUARY (this was three days after Christmas) at Superbrawl.

The whole thing just made no sense and everyone saw that it was nothing but a way to get the buyrate for Superbrawl up. Hogan and the NWO should have died then and there. Hogan should have disappeared until about June before coming back in the red and yellow, begging for the fans’ forgiveness while Sting slowly accepts the fans again and becomes the surfer or at least a normal looking wrestler. Instead, it’s the same things over and over again. All the fans, myself included, had their intelligence insulted. I and many other fans I knew at the time started watching Raw and loved what we were seeing, because it wasn’t WCW. I never left.

Sting would wind up holding the title for about two months until Savage beat him for it at Spring Stampede, only to lose it back to Hogan the next night. Goldberg beat him for it three months later. To say the fans didn’t react well is an understatement. The next night on Nitro the ratings were GREAT. The lead for Nitro stayed intact until the fans started getting what was going on.

Once the fans were told the title would be held up, they started to watch Raw more often. You couple this with the introduction of Mike Tyson and Steve Austin getting the world title and the lead was gone. About a week after Mania, Raw won for the first time in nearly two years. While the content on Raw was a major factor in this, there was no reason for WCW fans to watch Raw until they got screwed over here.

Sting had been this hero for WCW and would end the NWO once and for all. That was supposed to happen, much like Austin winning the title at Mania. Sting was supposed to destroy Hogan but that just didn’t happen for some reason. That reason would be Hogan didn’t want to lose clean like that and when he got the title back just a few months later, everything fell apart. WCW proved they had learned nothing a little over a year later in the Fingerpoke of Doom. The fans wanted something new and WCW decided that wasn’t going to happen. The rest is history.

In case you didn’t get it, this is another suspect.

In reverse chronological order:

1. David Arquette Wins World Title – May 7, 2000
2. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
3. Vince Russo Hired – October 5, 1999
4. Formation of NWO Wolfpac – May 4, 1998
5. Starrcade 1997 – December 28, 1997

Now with that one, we can jump back a good distance in time, because from about the time that Hall jumped the guardrail until Starrcade 1997, they pretty much could do no wrong. They made a fortune, they dominated the ratings and they were the dominant company in the wrestling world. Even before then, you could probably argue that they didn’t have any glaring errors until you get back to June 1994 and the signing of Hulk Hogan.

The first reaction a lot of people are going to have is “but KB, that got then to their success later.” Well yes that’s true. However, let’s take a look at what they’re giving up. First and foremost: money. Hogan was going to have a heavy pricetag and I’ve heard (and no I have no hard proof of this so if someone says I’m wrong and has proof I’ll certainly say I’m wrong) that it was in the neighborhood of seven hundred grand per PPV appearance. Then again, this is Ted Turner’s company, so money doesn’t mean much.

However, there’s one major thing that Hogan seemed (emphasis on that word) to change: the youth movement. Let’s take a look at some of the WCW roster that was gone soon after Hogan took over and some of the people that were brought up to the top.

Steve Austin: went from being US Champion, TV Champion and tag champion to losing to Jim Duggan in about 30 seconds. Now the interesting thing: Austin had been developing this character that was anti-authority and anti-old school, wore black trunks and had started swearing a lot. He got hurt and then was released for not being marketable. Austin had allegedly been in line for a world title feud for Starrcade with Flair but then Hogan got there, “retired” Flair and held the title for a year and a half, defending the world title against Brutus Beefcake at Starrcade. So Austin was replaced (allegedly) by Duggan and Beefcake and left WCW at age 29.

Mick Foley: he was probably the best promo man in the world for about a year, then had a huge feud with Vader where he got to incorporate more of his hardcore stuff. Foley and Kevin Sullivan won the tag titles in early 1994 and lost them to Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma before leaving in September, because there was no place for someone like Mick Foley there right? He was 29 when he left.

HHH: yep he was there too. He played a Connecticut blueblood who thought he was better than everyone else. They wanted to put him in a tag team, he wanted to be a singles guy. WCW released him and he was in WWF about 4 months later. He left at age 25. And no, you can’t really blame that on Hogan.

I’m probably forgetting others. The thing is though, instead of pushing these guys, you saw guys like Orndorff and Roma and Duggan with titles and guys like John Tenta and Kamala and Beefcake and the Nasty Boys and One Man Gang being on TV and getting pushes and you have to wonder why these guys were in the spots they were in. Now again, you can’t prove that these guys got depushed/pushed due to Hogan, but doesn’t it seem a little strange that these changes all happened right around the time when Hogan arrived? I’m going to add this to the list of suspects, but again there isn’t much hard evidence for it.

In reverse chronological order:

1. David Arquette Wins World Title – May 7, 2000
2. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
3. Vince Russo Hired – October 5, 1999
4. Formation of NWO Wolfpac – May 4, 1998
5. Starrcade 1997 – December 28, 1997
6. Hulk Hogan Hired – June 11, 1994

You know, I think that’s about it. There are some major problems and blunders that WCW had before then, but I don’t think there’s anything that you can really point at which couldn’t be recovered from. There is however one major thing that I think we need to talk about and that would be the idiocy of what they did with Ric Flair in 1991.

Now as we’ve gone over, Ted Turner bought Jim Crockett Promotions in the late 80s. However, he was a tycoon and didn’t exactly have time to run a wrestling company. So Turner brought in a bunch of people that had no freaking clue how to run a wrestling company, with the main one being Jim Herd who arrived around 1991. Herd looked at Flair and thought that he was washed up and past his prime.

This was totally wrong as well since Flair was not only world champion but the top draw still. Herd thought the Nature Boy gimmick was stupid and wanted to change Flair into, and I’m not making this up, a bald gladiator. Yes, he wanted to drop one of the most famous gimmicks in history to make him a stupid character.

As Kevin Sullivan put it, “after we change Flair’s gimmick, let’s go change Babe Ruth’s number.” Flair, having a brain, told Herd that this wasn’t going to work. Herd, being the idiot that he was, decided he knew more wrestling than Flair and told him that Flair would do it or be fired.

Now this is where Flair had him. Since, like everyone that knew what they were talking about, Flair knew that he could walk straight into the WWF and be launched right to the top of the show, he didn’t back down. Herd fired him and Vince got a nice big present called Ric Flair just handed to him. Now let’s get to the interesting part. When he was fired, Flair was still WCW and NWA champion.

Yes, Herd was dumb enough to fire him BEFORE changing the title. See what kind of idiot he was? He was stripped of the WCW Title which was then put in a match between Luger and Barry Windham, which was booed out of the building with chants of WE WANT FLAIR! The winner didn’t matter, because no one was going to take them seriously as champion (noticing a recurring theme in this?), and why should they have? They never beat Flair for the title so they were in essence fighting for the number one contender spot.

No one bought it and the title was hurt badly for the next year and a half since instead of watching fake champions, they turned the channel to USA to see how the real WCW champion did in the WWF. Now the REAL interesting part lies in the NWA title. Like I said, Flair held both titles which were represented by the same belt.

The NWA had a policy for its world champions: you win the title, you pay 25,000 dollars as a deposit on it. The deal was done to prevent people from showing up in other companies with the title. In other words, you rented it. Once you lost the belt you got the money back with interest on it.

Now that’s fine and good. Flair paid the deposit and all was well and good. However, once he was fired from WCW he was stripped of the belt and was told to return it to the NWA. Flair said he’d be glad to do it as soon as he was given his money back. Problem: the NWA didn’t have it. Flair says well then you don’t have a belt either. He took it to Vince and used it in a gimmick, calling himself the REAL world’s champion.

The NWA panicked since there was no way they could let this happen. They took Flair to court over it and were laughed out of the room since they had absolutely no case. They made a deal with Flair and weren’t living up to their end of it. Therefore, there was nothing they could do to keep Flair from using the title on WWF TV. It was his property so he could do whatever he wanted with it. Eventually Flair went back to WCW and let them use the belt after they paid him what he was owed. The big gold belt became the WCW Title and the rest is history. Again though, I don’t think you can really call that a candidate in this because they managed to recover and got out of the NWA before they could do much additional damage.

With that, we have our six final suspects as to who/what killed WCW. We’ll now go through and look at which of these really was the worst. Now remember, what we’re looking for here is the moment where once it had occurred, WCW was simply not going to be able to recover.

Looking over these six, I think we can knock off two right away: Hogan’s signing and Arquette winning the title. The former is easy: they DID recover after it and hit their all time highest after it. As for Arquette, I think that once they had hit April of 2000, there was no way they were going to recover and it’s not like the title had meant anything in a long time anyway.

That leaves us with four possible suspects:
1. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
2. Vince Russo Hired – October 5, 1999
3. Formation of NWO Wolfpac – May 4, 1998
4. Starrcade 1997 – December 28, 1997

Now the question becomes, what was WCW able to do after all of these things? Were they already done by the time they reached any of them? Was one of these moments the one that sent them over the cliff? There are many ways to come at this, so whichever way you want to go with is is fine. We have people leaving, people arriving, a start of a new angle, and a culmination of an old angle. Let’s take a look at these in chronological order.

Starrcade 1997: Now this was certainly a blow to WCW because it was their first major taste of failure after almost a year and a half of being unable to do anything wrong. Now, what people don’t seem to realize is that this show catapulted them up into MUCH higher ratings than they had been seeing before. In February, the show set a record for its highest TV rating ever, only to break it two weeks later. People were watching and they were watching in numbers they had never hit before.

It wasn’t really until May (we’ll get there in a bit) that things fell apart. The numbers for Raw were going up also, but Nitro had a good 4 months to keep the fans interested with something new. They also had Bret Hart, so it wasn’t so much that Starrcade killed them, but rather the following months that really injured them. All Starrcade did was show that WCW could in fact be hurt. Therefore, I think we can eliminate Starrcade 97 from the possible suspects.

In reverse chronological order:

1. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
2. Vince Russo Hired – October 5, 1999
3. Formation of NWO Wolfpac – May 4, 1998

Formation of NWO Wolfpac: I wasn’t thinking much of this one but when I look at the numbers more and more, I’m thinking there might be something more to it. When you look at May 4, 1998’s Nitro, other than the NWO being split in two, nothing else happened that night. Hogan was already champion and had been for a month but thing were fine.

However, once that show happened, within about six weeks of a record high rating in late April, the number had lost over 20% of its rating. Raw’s went up a bit, but they weren’t exactly jumping off the page. In short, it appears that fans were not wanting to watch what WCW had to offer. That’s the difference between Starrcade and this: after Starrcade the fans kept watching, but after this the fans left. Therefore, we’re keeping it on the list.

Vince Russo Hired: This works the same as Starrcade but in a lesser version. The ratings went up for a few months after he arrived. People were interested again and then WCW fell apart and things just went through the floor in 2000. Russo was fired in I think April before being brought back and making himself WCW Champion but that’s a different story. Anyway, since things did in fact improve for awhile and they had one last chance to maybe salvage something, I think we can eliminate this one and cut it down to the final two.

In reverse chronological order:

1. The Radicalz Jump Ship – January 17, 2000
2. Formation of the NWO Wolfpac – May 4, 1998

The Radicalz Jump Ship: With this one, I think we might have a winner. In 1999 you had two major names leave: The Giant (Big Show) and Chris Jericho. Both guys bailed when they realized there was nothing left for them in WCW because the company was in big trouble. They made the jump, but they were about six months apart, meaning they could be replaced. As for the Radicalz, they all jumped in one night. Malenko, Benoit and Saturn all had their final matches for WCW at Souled Out 2000.

Now think about that for a minute. Imagine you lose four guys (remember that Eddie left too but wasn’t on the PPV card) in one night. Imagine if WWE lost let’s say Bryan, Barrett, Rhodes and Kofi all in one night. That’s a lot of stuff they’d have to replace in a hurry. You would have to throw guys up there all of a sudden who may not be ready for it, you have to convince people to not go and watch them elsewhere and watch your new guys. That’s not easy, especially when things were already falling apart as they were. This was a bad moment and yet another big blow to the company.

Now which of these two was worse? I think I have the answer and it’s one word long: Goldberg.

Much the same way that Russo and Starrcade 97 can be written off, the key difference was that after the NWO Wolfpac formed, things were about to get new life in the form of Goldberg. In about two months, WCW would win a night in the ratings due to Goldberg vs. Hogan (why that wasn’t a PPV show is still beyond the common sense of most people) and everything would change. Also, they had ANOTHER good run with Ultimate Warrior showing up in the fall where they won 8 weeks in a row. The NWO moment was bad and things dropped quickly, but they were right back on top later that year.

With the Radicalz leaving, everything was falling apart, but they were already falling apart. The difference was with this big blow, they didn’t recover. The company continued its downward spiral and was out of business in about 14 months, which I think everyone knew was just a matter of time anyway. Everyone knew at that point that WCW was going down and they were going down hard. Ratings kept dropping and the match quality (arguably of course) got worse minus those four. It also gave WWF a nice boost of new talent which didn’t help anything for WCW and was the final blow which they weren’t going to recover from.

So there you have it: after all of the years of WCW screwing things up and somehow managing to come back, it was a group of people rising up together and just walking out that did them in. WCW survived for a little bit after that but they were living on borrowed time. Therefore to me, it was the Radicalz leaving that was the move that killed WCW. To keep up the gimmick of this piece:

As for who killed WCW, the Radicalz did, in Ohio, by walking out.