This is something that I’ll be starting up soon: a series of essays/editorials/those long posts I write about a single topic.  This is going to be a special one that I’ve wanted to write for awhile.  I always hear about how this era sucks and how it’s not as good as the Attitude Era and all that jazz.  However, this era that we’re currently in is in fact good, and in many ways better than the Attitude Era that many of us grew up on.  In (maybe) a series of posts, I’m going to take a look at various aspects of both eras and explain the good and the bad of both.  This is not going to be a totally pro PG argument because it’s far from perfect, but I’m going to explain quite a few things.  Look for that in about a week.

KB

Turning Point 2007
Date: December 2, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to more TNA tonight and the final show of 2007. This is the show with the pretty well known Joe rant against TNA because Scott Hall no-showed the event. The replacement winds up being Eric Young, back when he was still pretty lame. Other than that, there isn’t anything of note here as the most important stuff is coming up in the next year. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Angle Alliance (Angle, Styles and Tomko) in the back with AJ freaking out. Tonight it’s them against Joe and the Outsiders. AJ wants Christian to join them and Angle says he’ll go and do it himself.

The opening video has a Christmas sound to it and talks about a massacre coming. There’s another Abyss hardcore match tonight. Oh the uniqueness.

Team 3D/Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal/Motor City Machine Guns

This is a tables match and only one guy has to go through. This was part of the Dudleys hate small people story. Lethal is X Champion and Macho here, although Devine has stolen the belt itself which would go on for awhile. Ray goes on a pre-match rant against the fans, telling them how they all suck. They have to tag so Shelley vs. Devine gets us going. The Guns take turns beating on Devine and Ray is all ticked off.

Off to D-Von vs. Sabin who looks YOUNG. Lethal comes in and walks into a powerslam to put him back down. Both teams work on the arm to try to get some psychology in there but it’s just filling in time before we get to the wild stuff. Lethal tries to speed things up but walks into a one arm Rock Bottom which plants him. The X guys realize they’re not going to be able to hang in a tag match so they speed things up and take it to the floor with a trio of dives.

The Dudleys grab a table and slide it through the ring so far that it hits Lethal on the other side. The Guns get Devine alone in the ring and it’s time for a beating. You can tell they’re a bit winded (all of them that is) as things slow way down once the Dudleys take over. Lethal avoids a charge from Ray and Ray goes crashing through the table but it wasn’t an offensive move so it doesn’t count.

They exchange spots with the table until Devine tries to dive over the top and go through Shelley but Alex moves and it’s a huge crash which looked awesome. Ray does the move the table instead of breaking up the move so that your partner kind of gets screwed spot. 3D is countered and Lethal accidentally takes down the referee. The Guns bust out a pair of dives which the camera mostly misses. That’s been a big issue so far tonight.

Devine brings in a kendo stick but Lethal takes it and gets in a single shot before putting him on the table. That’s not exactly a big revenge move but whatever. Lethal goes up and drops the elbow through the table but the referee is down. The Dudleys come in and clock everyone with the title belt and put Devine on top to make the now awake referee think that Devine got the win, which he and the Dudleys get now.

Rating: C. Pretty by the book stuff here but the thing holding this back was that it ran fifteen minutes. The problem with that is that these matches are designed to be flashy and fun and running that long made the match go way too long. Cut this down by five minutes and it’s a much better match. Also get a new finish because that one has been done far too many times.

Nash says Hall will be here and that the only reason Nash joined Angle earlier was because Angle had a hot wife. Joe cuts him off and says when his partner gets here, let him know.

Roxxi Leveaux/ODB vs. Velvet-Love Entertainment

Velvet-Love is of course the Beautiful People and this is their debut match as a team. They’re nice here. Well I think they are at least. Velvet looks totally different here and not in a good way. She’s still hot but nothing compared to what she would become. Velvet vs. Roxxi starts us off but Velvet is scared so here’s Angelina instead. ODB comes in and spanks her so Velvet rides her around. We’re in a comedy match as ODB wants the referee to spank her.

Roxxi beats on Velvet for a bit and it’s off to ODB again. She stands on Velvet’s crotch and this match needs to end quickly. Now we get a series of spots based around ODB’s crotch. Sky escapes and it’s the not as hot as my partner tag to Love. Everything breaks down and a combination bicycle kick/Russian legsweep beats Roxxi.

Rating: F. Velvet looks a lot less hot with long hair and with a lack of makeup. On top of that, this was a “comedy” match but it wasn’t funny. Don’t you love it when that’s what winds up happening in these things? I still don’t get the appeal of ODB at all, but she keeps getting signed for some reason along with Jackie.

Jeremy catches up with Angle in the back. Kurt is going to Christian’s dressing room, presumably to try to get him to join up. Jeremy says Kurt needs to calm down a bit and Kurt implies Jeremy is sleeping with Karen and goes in to see Christian anyway. Kurt proposes an alliance and Christian is interested, but he wants to be in charge which Angle isn’t cool with. The offer is declined. Angle leaves and Christian gives his partner, Robert Roode, a mini pep talk before he leaves. Ms. Brooks gets in his face and domestic violence is implied.

We recap Storm vs. Young and the Drinking Championship. Young won it somehow which set up the following match.

Storm is mad because he can’t find beer. Jackie says none until after the match.

James Storm vs. Eric Young

Just a regular match here. Young comes in through the crowd to jump Storm and takes over with right hands. Oh and Storm beat Young up really badly on Impact to set this up. They fight on the floor and Jackie gets knocked out thank goodness. Young hammers away but misses a charge into the post. Storm is messed up because he can’t have any beer. He works on the arm on the floor for a bit and we head back into the ring.

Young is bleeding from the elbow. Storm kicks him in the head and goes up for a cross body, only for Young to roll through it for two. Back to the arm as the obvious conclusion becomes obvious: Eric Young as just Eric Young is really boring. There’s the Eye of the Storm but Storm goes up to the corner to chill for a bit instead of covering. The delayed version gets two.

Off to a pretty weak Fujiwara Armbar which goes on twice, both times for awhile. Young makes his one armed comeback and goes up for a top rope elbow, getting two. Storm tries a reverse tornado DDT but Young escapes into a northern lights suplex for two. Enziguri sets up a Backstabber for two for Storm. Superkick misses and Young grabs a powerslam for two. Jackie tries the beer spit but hits Storm by mistake. After some beer related hijinks, Young gets a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a boring match here which was pretty typical for matches in the midcard for TNA around this point. Nothing to see as Young vs. Storm was based around the beer thing and then in the end that wound up playing a pretty worthless role. Again, this went too long (twelve minutes) and it hurt things a lot.

The announcers talk a bit and Hall still isn’t here. They run down the rest of the card.

LAX says they’ll win Feast or Fired and aren’t worried about consequences about beating up Christy Hemme on Impact recently.

Feast or Fired

This is TNA’s version of Money in the Bank. There are four cases: one has a world title match, one a tag, one an X Title and one is a pink slip. We have Scott Steiner, Senshi, BG James, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Lance Hoyt, Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, LAX, Kip James, Jimmy Rave, Chris Harris and Sonjay Dutt. This is the first match ever in this series for lack of a better term.

You have to have the case in your hands and your feet on the floor to officially win this. It’s a big mess of a match to begin with because you have everyone running around all at once with no real idea of a flow or story whatsoever. The fans like LAX more than anyone else. We’re not going to find out who has what case until Impact. Great. Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana to the floor to take out Daniels.

Petey Williams gets a case. Harris is chilling on the floor because he doesn’t want to get fired. That’s kind of smart actually. BG James has hurt his knee and is being taken out on a stretcher. Kip has a case almost off the hook but can’t get out of the ring. Kip throws it over the top to BG who officially has the case now. Harris keeps going over to the announce table and yells at the announcers.

Hernandez tosses Senshi up to the corner where he’s able to grab on and get the third case in a pretty cool looking moment. LAX goes after Rave but here’s Christy for the save. The LAX chick comes in to take her out. Shark Boy clears out the ring so here’s Harris to beat him down a bit. Sharky, ever the scholar, accepts Harris’ offer of help, only to get caught in an electric chair. Harris has a clear shot but doesn’t want it out of fear.

SuperMex throws Dutt up and over the top by the sides of his head. He really is scary strong. Kip, clad in pink, goes up but gets caught by Scott Steiner again. Daniels comes in for the save but Hernandez stops him from getting a case. Actually Daniels gets one but Hernandez knocks it out of his hands. Steiner comes in again and steals the case to end things.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess as always but the stealing of the cases was kind of a nice touch. These matches never really worked all that well but they were trying and they did the only things you can really do in them. The Hernandez spots were cool too but it’s not like this is anything we haven’t seen a bunch of times before.

The cases would be revealed as Scott with an X Title shot, Petey with the world title shot, BG with the tag and Senshi had the fired one, but he would lose the case to Daniels who was fired instead.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Kong. The idea is that Kim is the champion who has beaten everyone in her reign but is running into Kong who is unlike anyone she’s ever faced before.

Gail says she’s ready to go through whatever it takes to keep the title.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

This is the only title match tonight. Gail’s looks are hit and miss for me. She looks good in white though. Kong jumps her during the entrance which is smart for a change. When the other chick is posing on the apron why wouldn’t you jump them? They start fighting on the floor and Kim’s strategy seems to be “get beaten up really badly and hold on as long as I can without dying.”

Kong misses a charge and hits the post. Kim goes straight for the arm and Kong can barely fight her off. We get a bell out of nowhere. Oh that was all pre-match. Kong throws on a sleeper and then spins Kim around in it. That can’t feel good. Kong takes over with power and hooks a camel clutch, making Kim’s top come up. No complaints there.

It’s all Kong here with the power game. As Shawn said in the Mania 13 main event, why mess with what brought you to the game? A three point stance into a splash in the corner crushes Kim. A torture rack is broken up and Kim is trying to get some separation. She goes back to the arm and has Kong in some trouble. You can’t work on fat though and that’s what Kong uses to put her down again. Awesome Bomb is countered as is the spinning backfist.

A middle rope dropkick has Kong staggered. A second one puts Gail down and the place ERUPTS. A senton backsplash gets two. Kong gets up and fires off the spinning backfist to put Kim down again. She chokes away in the corner and shoves the referee down for the LAME disqualification to keep the title on Kim.

Rating: B-. DANG that finish sucked the life out of that match. These two have some sweet chemistry together and it was working out there, until they screwed it up with the DQ ending. The crowd was WAY into this though and the idea of David vs. Goliath is always going to work, which it did here. Even I was getting into this one.

Post match Kong beats up everyone in sight. Velvet comes out to try to help but that goes about as well as you would expect. During the whole thing they keep ringing the freaking bell which gets old after about two rings. Angelina comes in with a chair. She’s nice about it though, holding it in front of her face so that Kong can hit it. There’s an Awesome Bomb (mostly) onto the chair on Kim. ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING BELL!!!

AJ freaks out on Angle for not getting Christian on their side tonight. He threatens to walk out because he can’t function without Christian. Kurt: “What are you, fruity or something?” Karen says shut up and says she can get Joe to turn on the Outsiders. Tomko likes the plan and Kurt says he’ll go do it.

We recap the match of 1000 thumbtacks. Abyss is fighting Rellik and Black Reign (Goldust) in an ultra violent match. Rhyno was supposed to be his partner but he’s hurt so we have a mystery partner.

Black Reign and Rellik are in the basement and Goldust licks his pet rat. He wants Raven to love him. Moving on.

Abyss/??? vs. Black Reign/Rellik

Oh so apparently the partner was known and it’s Raven. This is the Match of Ten Thousand Tacks. There are tacks everywhere and there’s a bag of them above the ring on a pole. Wave to Russo everyone! Tenay continues to treat the fans like idiots by reminding them that Rellik is Killer spelled backwards, thereby taking away the monster aspect and making him sound like a 13 year old trying to be clever on AIM.

Everyone but Raven heads to the floor so Raven jumps over the top to take everyone out at once. Abyss and Reign go up into the crowd as Raven uses his Russian legsweep to send Rellik into the barricade twice. Back at ringside, Abyss sets up a table with tacks on top of it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to talk about in this match as it’s the same match Abyss did every week in this period.

Abyss gets his hand on whatever weapon Reign usually uses which has a sharp blade on it. That busts Reign open and everyone is back inside now. Abyss is busted via something. It was a chair shot. Good enough. Rellik slides in a bed of tacks and drives a handful of them into Raven’s mouth. Things slow way down as they’re filling in time for the finish now. Rellik goes for the bag of tacks above the ring but gets powerbombed off by Raven.

Raven Effect gets two on Reign. Now Bird Man is bleeding from the mouth. Oh man Abyss is COVERED in blood. We’re just waiting on the big spot to end this. Reign hits everyone with a kendo stick but as he’s choking Raven he gets flipped off the corner and into a table covered in tacks. Raven misses an elbow through a table to Rellik who gets the bag of tacks off the pole. Abyss goes for a chokeslam to Rellik but gets something spit into his eyes. There’s a Black Hole Slam into them instead and we’re done.

Rating: C+. It’s a big brawl with lots of blood which is what most of the rating is for. The problem with Abyss is he always had to top what he did before, which became a problem as he had too much stuff to do. Not a bad hardcore match but the tacks spot had been done so many times before that it’s hard to get fired up for them again.

Angle goes to talk to Joe, saying they’re on the same wavelength. He talks about how Hall and Nash are using Joe. It’s a big snow job here but Kurt leaves so Joe can think about it.

We recap Cage/Roode vs. Kaz/Booker. This is more about Booker vs. Roode which is Booker’s first feud in the company. Kaz beat Christian in a tournament final so there’s the other half of the match.

Booker says he’s here to become world champion but also to face the best in the world.

Christian Cage/Robert Roode vs. Kaz/Booker T

Booker vs. Christian to start us off and it’s off to Kaz very quickly. A jumping back elbow takes Kaz down but the non-Canadian takes over, getting a kick for two. Off to Booker vs. Roode which would be one of the least interesting feuds that I can remember in a long time. Off to an armbar by Booker to Roode. The fans are split here as we look at the yet to be named Peyton Banks (get it?) who was stalking Roode at this time.

Off to Kaz who gets two on Christian. Kaz beats up both heels as Ms. Brooks (Kaz’s real life wife) cheers. A big plancha takes out both heels as this is one sided so far. Booker is pretty useless here as double teaming takes down Kaz. Roode hooks a chinlock to fill in some time. We look at the stalker fan again and make it a third time. Kaz speeds things up and Roode just can’t keep up with him.

He tries a springboard something but jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Kaz fights out of the corner and Christian’s head goes into Roode’s crotch. Roode recovers from the pain and breaks up a hot tag to Booker, only to walk into a DDT/neckbreaker combo from Kaz which takes out both him and Christian.

Booker comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, getting two on Christian via a spinebuster. Christian loads up a superplex which fails. Booker hits a missile dropkick and gets two off the Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner. The side kick misses but here’s Kaz again. Roode launches him to the floor but Booker takes out the Canadians with ease. Spinarooni sets up the Axe Kick but Roode breaks it up. Bobby accidentally clocks Christian with a chair and the Axe Kick finishes this technically clean.

Rating: C. Eh this wasn’t great but it was a way to let Booker get a win on PPV. Yep, this was about pushing Booker because he wasn’t a big enough star on his own yet so we so let’s put him over two midcard heels on PPV. Kaz didn’t do much here and the match wasn’t incredibly interesting either way. Just kind of there.

Christian attacks Roode post match. AJ runs out to break it up for no apparent reason.

In the back, Joe is going off on Nash about Hall not showing up. This was legit and we’re approaching the big moment on this show. Joe says he’ll be out there tonight but not alone.

We recap the main event, which is all about the reuniting of the Outsiders to fight the Angle Alliance. Amazingly enough, the feud is about old vs. new. I’m shocked too.

Angle Alliance vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash/???

The match isn’t going to start for a bit. The Alliance is Tomko/AJ (Tag champions) and of course Angle (world champion). AJ as a heel just isn’t working at all. It never did and it never will. He’s a clueless putz here too so that isn’t helping anything. Karen has some sweet legs. Joe comes out last and grabs the mic for the rant heard around the Impact Zone.

He talks about how he was told to come out here because the fans love him and they’ll listen to him. Scott Hall no showed this event but he’s not going to be here in a surprise or something like that. This got Joe thinking: he could walk out here and have a handicap match, but TNA just gave him a live mic on a PPV. Therefore, he has a few things to say.

There are two types of people in TNA: the diehards who do whatever it takes to entertain the fans every night, and Superstars who come in and do whatever they like. The Superstars screw the wrestlers and the fans who paid to see them, no matter how old they are. TNA is about the Guns, TNA is about Jay Lethal, TNA is about Samoa Joe, TNA is about hard working young guys who want to change wrestling. TNA is about guys doing whatever it takes to entertain the fans while others come in and pad their pensions.

Joe talks to someone in the crowd (presumably Dixie) saying go ahead and fire me. He went to the back and said who wants to be in a fight tonight. The X Division jumped up and said give me the shot. One guy though stood out to him and that is his partner tonight: Eric Young. This was a weird pick and according to some reports I’ve read, Joe’s immediate answer was Homicide, but since LAX were heels at this point that got shot down. At least that’s a valid reason.

Ok so now it’s time for the match. AJ vs. Joe gets us going here. Joe hooks a sunset flip but rolls AJ to the side around the ring (that has a name but I can’t think of it) and chops away. Joe tags in Eric who just doesn’t fit here as he’s a comedy character. This didn’t result in a major push for him either. Young comes in to fight Angle and he’s just Eric Young. That’s the problem here: there’s nothing significant about him but he’s just kind of there.

Off to Nash vs. Tomko and the one with hair takes him down with his usual big strikes. Young gets a Thesz Press on Styles, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Angle grabs Eric’s arm and pulls it across the ropes to try to give the match a story. AJ tries a superplex but gets caught in a gordbuster off the top. Double tag brings in Nash and Angle but everything breaks down quickly.

Eric’s dive is caught by the tag champs so Joe dives onto all three of them to take them out. Ankle lock to Nash and Joe smiles. He eventually breaks it up with a superkick and tags himself in to beat on Tomko. Powerslam gets two. There’s a Jackknife to Angle as the parade of finishers begins. AJ hits the forearm on Nash and double teaming abounds. The MuscleBuster ends Tomko.

Rating: D. What a mess this was, and somehow having Hall in there would have made it even worse. Young had no point of being in there and it was almost a shoot with everyone being thrown off by Joe’s promo. The match was going to be bad no matter what, but this was really weak and a horrible PPV main event.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty weak overall with nothing interesting or even that good on the whole card. The Knockouts match was good, but the rest is just so lackluster and boring that it took me about 4 days to get through this show. This was a really weak period for the company and this was a great example of why. The Outsiders thing was horrible and really sums up a lot of the problems with former big names like that. Bad show.

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NXT
Date: November 2, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re approaching a full term pregnancy here as we’re in I think week 35 or so. Darren Young can come back from suspension next week but I don’t think he’ll be returning. The show seems like it’s trying to come back to the way things used to be but it’s really not working. It was a lot better when there were random matches going on instead of ones like there used to be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the proposal and acceptance from last week with Bateman and Maxine. It’s as stupid as it sounds, complete with a bad love song playing in the background.

Here’s JTG to open the show. He brings out Bateman and Maxine, who wears a lot of REALLY not-PG outfits. Maxine insists the name is BetaMax. I give up. Bateman says he wants to do this right, so he drops to his knee and gives her a ring which is “what 38 weeks of being an NXT Rookie can buy.” He hasn’t been here 38 weeks but whatever.

This brings out Watson, O’Neil and AJ. They really do look good in the suits. Maxine is fishless, whatever that means. Now we’re talking about Fraggle Rock. No one gets the joke, myself included. Bateman sends them away because this is an engagement party and they’re not invited. The girls get into a “you’re uglier than me” contest so O’Neil implies that Maxine’s father is here to make this formal. Titus pulls out a fish. Regal: “He’s doing that just for the halibut.” There are a ton of fish jokes and that’s the best of them all. Titus starts singing Under the Sea when Striker comes out and makes the six man tag main event.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

Raw ReBound. The Sheamus/Beaker thing still makes me smile. There are some deleted scenes in this.

Kaitlyn and AJ chat about the wedding. Can we just look at Kaitlyn for 50 minutes instead?

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Rematch from last week, which isn’t nearly as competitive was Korpela wants you to think it was. Regal makes jokes about having an affair with a dwarf. I don’t have any idea what it has to do with this match but it’s funny. Kaitlyn gets more offense in the first 30 seconds than she had all last week. Korpela calls Tamina’s dad (Jimmy Snuka) a Hall of Flamer. The crowd is dead for this. Tamina hammers away and it’s off to a chinlock.

At least we can look at Kaitlyn in those shorts of hers. Jack tries to say that the Divas Division is awesome right now and I begin to chuckle at him. Kaitlyn hits that old classic attack known as WHAT A MANEUVER (modified Side Effect) for the pin at 5:10. Again, can we just look at her for the rest of the show?

Rating: D+. These matches suck. That’s really all there is to say about it. I know Kaitlyn looks good, but is there really any need to have her wrestle? That’s one of the things that suck the time out of a Raw or Smackdown: the Divas matches. They’re not entertaining and most of the time they suck, yet they get a few minutes a week.

AJ/Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/JTG/Maxine

The Fascinating Fact this week: the black sheep of Maxine’s family is an unsavory bishop from the island of Butte, who owns a combined toilet factory who in his spare time sends full tapes of Shetland ponies to people. I think that was a play on words joke but I’m not sure. The girls start us off and Maxine is ticked off. AJ hits a jumping armdrag and things speed up. Maxine rolls to the floor after a spinwheel kick.

Off to JTG vs. Watson now and the good guys take over. Titus gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Watson. Regal asks a good question: why do you need to dance about when you can hit someone in the mouth? Bateman hits a dropkick thanks to a Maxine distraction as we’re running out of time in a hurry. Jimmy the Gimmick hooks on a chinlock and then hooks a Regal Cutter of all things. Even Regal points that one out.

The announcers talk about how long this season has been. Even they don’t know when it’s ending. Somehow Regal turns this into a metaphor involving a hamster on a skateboard. You can’t say he’s typical. Off to O’Neil and everything breaks down. Clash of the Titus ends Bateman at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything, but this match sums up the problem with this season of NXT: Titus can beat Bateman. I looked it up and in this season, that is the 6th time O’Neil or O’Neil’s team has beaten Bateman or Bateman’s team. What in the world is there left for these two to prove? Nothing, but they keep the season going anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. I just don’t care anymore. When things were all going insane it was fun, but we’re going in circles on this show. Titus and the Usos dominate whoever they face, Bateman does nothing of interest and AJ still doesn’t like Maxine. That’s all we’ve seen for the last two months, but it never goes anywhere at all. I don’t get it, but I’m not WWE I guess. It’s not horrible, but it’s more boring than bad.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

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Ring of Honor
Date: October 29, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

After last week we can actually see some angles starting to come together. This is I think the sixth episode for this show and it’s about time that it turned into a regular show. Their pacing is still pretty bad but from what I can find that is going to start changing on this show in that there are actually three matches for this episode. Let’s get to it.

Ok so it’s Saturday afternoon and I turn on Ring of Honor…..and it’s the same episode from last week. I mean Mondo vs. Perkins and the TV Title match tonight. The show re-airs on Sunday night so I’ll see if that’s the new one. Until then I’ll try to find a copy of it.

Ok so now it’s Sunday night and we have the actual show. Good to see.

We open with a recap of last week’s TV Title match which ended in a draw.

Kyle O’Reilly says he’s good. Roderick Strong says he isn’t worried about O’Reilly because he’s a punk kid.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Roderick Strong

Truth Martini sits in on commentary. They start with technical stuff as Martini talks about Strong’s open challenge for Final Battle. They hit the mat and neither guy can take over that well. Both guys avoid strikes and the fans applaud the stalemate. These guys look a lot alike. Time for strikes because this is a Ring of Honor match. Northern lights suplex gets two for Kyle.

Strong goes to his bread and butter in the form of a backbreaker (half nelson variety here) for two. We take a break and come back with Kyle chopping Roderick but getting caught in a waistlock. Martini is off commentary now. More strikes from O’Reilly including a missile dropkick for two. Butterfly suplex is countered as is a backbreaker. O’Reilly hits rolling butterfly suplexes for two.

Roderick takes him off the top and pounds him down with ease. A modified sitout powerbomb gets two. Strong tries a few moves but Kyle counters off of there. Here are some more strikes for his troubles and a fireman’s carry into a spinebuster gets two. Strong Hold (Boston Crab) doesn’t work because Strong is a heel. A half nelson is countered into a crucifix for two. O’Reilly hooks on a guillotine choke but Rodderick rolls forward for two. A running kick (gee, another strike!) ends this for Strong at 12:28.

Rating: C. I get the appeal of it, but man those strikes get annoying fast. I mean, DO SOMETHING ELSE!!! Why is that such a difficult request to fulfill? I don’t like Richards’ style at all and Kyle is part of Team Richards or whatever it is. They try to do almost MMA matches out there and it doesn’t make for entertaining wrestling other than in the eyes of people that think doing a lot of strikes and such make for good matches.

Post match more House of Truth people and Richards come out with Richards being beaten down. Eddie Edwards comes out for the final save. I think I smell a tag match.

After the break, Cornette says that every member of the House of Truth is being fined $2500. Some fans want Kevin Steen back and let’s put the cameras on them. Cornette says Steen has too many mental problems so there won’t be any Steen back. If Steen doesn’t like that, sue him.

Either Lethal or Edwards will get the world title match at Final Battle. Gee, I wonder if it’ll be a guy that has nothing to do with Richards or his former partner that he beat for the belt in the first place. Both guys say they should get the shot.

We also hear about Proving Ground matches. The idea is that they’re non-title, but if you can beat them or get to a time limit draw, you get a title match within 90 days. Logical. A new tag team has such a match next week and they say nothing of note.

Alex Silva vs. Tomasso Ciampa

Steve Corino sits in on commentary. His first line: “My name is Steve Corino and I’m an evil http://onhealthy.net/product-category/cholesterol/ person.” He’s trying to reform his evil ways which could set up a sweet heel turn later on if need be. Silva is an OVW guy who likes to kick a lot. Oh ok so that makes sense now. Ciampa spits at a handshake attempt and hits a jumping kick to take over early on. They go to the floor and let the pain begin.

Silva takes a suplex on the floor and it’s off to a chinlock in the ring. They kick it out a bit as Corino offers to be a mentor to Ciampa. A neckbreaker puts Silva down and there’s a running knee to the face. Make that two knees. Ok three. I think you get the idea here. Silva’s face would seem to say…”THAT REALLY FREAKING HURT!” A powerbomb onto double knees (Project Ciampa) ends this at 4:00.

Rating: C. Total squash here but Ciampa is a pretty decent power guy. He needs to have an actual feud though which is one of the problems with the way they air ROH. With only an hour a week, having the multiple ten minute matches is becoming a big problem. I do however really like them fitting in a quick match like this to showcase someone else other than just two teams/acts a show.

All Night Express vs. Briscoe Brothers

Main event here and the winners get Haas/Benjamin at Final Battle. It’s a brawl on the floor to start as they don’t wait for the intros. I think that’s Jay vs. Kenny to start but it’s off to Titus quickly. The Express takes over to start with the quick tags. A big clothesline gets two for King. The Briscoes take over and pound away as we go to a break. Back with King in trouble but hitting an enziguri to put Mark down.

The fans are totally behind the Briscoes here which isn’t the idea but who cares about that? They know what wrestling is right? Anyway Jay runs in as we hear about how good Titus is in bed. Why does McGuinness know that? Next week we find out who gets the shot at Richards. Backslide gets two for King. There’s the hot tag to Titus and they beat on Jay for a bit, including a dropkick for two.

The fans still chant for the Briscoes as we’re really running out of time here. Jay counters King but can’t hit his finisher (Jay Driller). Mark takes out Rhett and a spinebuster puts down King with a spinebuster. Rhett and Jay go up but Jay is dropped into a snake eyes. Mark goes off on Titus and botches a springboard cutter to put Titus down.

King hits a springboard Blockbuster but walks into a DDT from Jay as all four are down. In a pretty innovative ending, the Express sets for their finisher (Blockbuster/powerbomb combo) but Jay knocks King down and clotheslines his own brother into a rana on Titus for the pin at 12:42. Think about that and it’ll make sense.

Rating: C+. The opening stuff of this (as in before the commercial) was really pedestrian but after that the match got a lot better. They threw out the tagging aspect and the hot tag didn’t have a lot of heat on it, mainly due to the Briscoes being one of those teams that is so over they can’t really be turned heel. Also the fact that they’re athletic and do impressive looking stuff makes it hard to boo them.

Overall Rating: C. Well, they’re getting there. I guess that’s the best way to put it. The show having a third match is a huge step in the right direction and they cut down the lengths of the two featured matches to make them fit into the time frame much better this week. Not a bad show but it’s nothing good either. At least we’re building to something for a change, which is a nice thing to see.

Results
Roderick Strong b. Kyle O’Reilly – Sick Kick
Tomasso Ciampa b. Alex Silva – Project Ciampa
Briscoe Brothers b. All Night Express – Hurricanrana to Titus

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Halloween Havoc 1995
Date: October 29, 1995
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

So we plow on through 1995 as I want to finish this year and get to the NWO stuff. Anyway this is a rather infamous show as we have a double main event: Hogan vs. The Giant for the WCW Title and Hogan vs. The Giant in monster trucks. Yeah I know what you’re thinking. Anyway, this is a show I remember kind of fondly from when I was seven. Now I’m 22 so let’s see how bad it really is. Also on here we have Sting and a freshly face Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman, and we know that can’t go wrong at all right?

Also on the preshow, Paul Orndorff beat Renegade, the previously unstoppable machine, in about 80 seconds. Also we had three guys that had just recently signed with the company: Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit. Sadly enough this show is only 15 years ago and of the five men mentioned in this paragraph, Orndorff and Malenko are still alive. Eddie died of heart failure despite being in great shape, Renegade and Benoit killed themselves, and Orndorff is so injured he can barely move. Wow indeed.

WCW really was hilarious with how overblown their Halloween stuff was. It’s pure camp and it’s hilarious. So Hogan has gone to the dark side, shaving his facial hair and wearing all black. Yeah whatever. Remember we’re still about 8 months from the NWO at this point. Hey a big arena is actually full! I’m stunned too. Oh I forgot: the truck think is on the roof of the building next door.

BREAKING NEWS!

Flying Brian and Arn Anderson have apparently beaten up Ric Flair. That’s just amusing.

Tony wants to know why Heenan has been eating sushi. That’s actually foreshadowing.

We recap Johnny B. Badd and DDP. So if you remember the last show, Badd won a title shot against Sting. We have the match, but Badd is nowhere to be seen. Brian got the shot instead but lost. Badd showed up at the end of the show and says he had a flat tire. Gene says he could have called. Just whip out your cell phone the size of a brick and call Johnny. DDP showed up and said that he should have gotten the shot. His bodyguard says it must suck to have four flat tires. Johnny realizes something is up because he only said it was one flat tire so he punched Page. It was never explained WHY DDP would have messed with Johnny’s car but whatever.

TV Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Johnny B. Badd

Apparently Sting isn’t here yet so he doesn’t know what happened to Flair. Seriously, how do these people get away with being late to work all the time??? This is being written about two hours after Lockdown went off and Bischoff got to the arena at like 1030. HOW DOES HE HAVE A JOB??? Can you imagine if you showed up to work on a huge day two and a half hours late minimum?

A fake Johnny B. Badd comes out but the real one comes through the crowd to jump him. Tony says this started with a bang. That’s just amusing given what Page would become. Ok hang on a second. Earlier on we saw the two monster trucks dueling a bit. Apparently that was Hogan and Giant driving. So they just get together and ram trucks together? Also note that they were already welded together. Keep that in mind.

In a funny spot, Patrick asks Badd if he pulled DDP’s hair. Badd replies by shouting YOU MEAN LIKE THIS and pulls DDP’s hair. That’s just amusing. Heenan says everyone has been talking about the PPV, even the pilot on his plane. WOW. Tony says DDP likes controlling his matches. Wow I thought he liked getting beaten up. You can’t buy commentary like this.

And we hit the chinlock. Maxx Muscle slaps the mat while the fans are chanting for Badd. Yeah Page had a tendency to have stupid managers. We do some more stuff and hit another chinlock. At least there’s a theme to this match. Just to be clear: Bobby Heenan will NOT be managing the Detroit Tigers. Ok then.

After Badd makes another comeback, he throws Page to the floor with no explanation for the lack of a DQ other than that’s not the planned finish. He even busts out what would become the basis for the 619. Maxx Muscle interferes but screws up and the big punch ends this.

Rating: C. This was one of those matches that was just kind of there. It’s not particularly good or bad but rather just long. It’s not terrible by any means but it just happened. Badd vs. DDP would be a feud for a good while until he got fired/left for WWF as Marc Mero.

We talk about the monster truck thing to kill time.

Randy Savage vs. Zodiac

Zodiac has what would become Rey’s music soon. It’s Brutus Beefcake being able to only say yes or no. Yeah it didn’t work. I’m stunned too. Ok so apparently Luger and Savage have to win their matches earlier in the night to get a match with each other tonight. If just one wins then…nothing happens I guess. Well ok then. I love that rock version of Pomp and Circumstance.

Savage jumps him early and is dominating. A fan runs into the ring and stays in there for like 20 seconds with the referee just owning him. Security gets rid of him as Savage wins with the elbow in less than two minutes. This was supposed to be Kamala but he left the company. No one else noticed. Total squash so no rating.

Badd says that he believed he could do this and he did it. This is supposed to be emotional or something but it just isn’t. Gene mentions singing Tutti Frutti in a bar. It’s far funnier than it sounds.

Kurasawa vs. Hawk

This was an odd choice. On Clash of the Champions, Kurasawa broke Hawk’s arm and this is the rematch. No one got this feud or why Hawk was wrestling singles matches or who in the world Kurasawa was other than a good movie makes. Hawk jumps him like you would expect him to as we get going. Hawk gets his one wrestling move, the neckbreaker.

Crowd is into Hawk if nothing else. He even busts out a powerbomb and a gutwrench suplex. Total dominance here. Parker interferes so Kurasawa can take over. He misses a top rope elbow and Hawk takes over again. He was in trouble for MAYBE 4 seconds. Big old clothesline puts the heel on the floor.

On the floor Hawk is rammed into the post, taken into the ring, Kurasawa hits two Samoan Drops and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. I have been reviewing shows for over a year now and I have NEVER seen a match that made less sense. This was never mentioned again. Hawk destroyed him until that ending. No sense at all.

Rating: WTF. I have nothing else to say for that. Hawk looked like he was beating up a jobber and he loses? No rating again but dude, what the heck were they thinking here? Why did Hawk have a singles match here anyway? WCW continues to boggle the mind.

Savage says he’s going to make sure Luger wins. But let’s talk about Hogan instead.

Mr. JL vs. Sabu

JL is short for Jerry Lynn in case you didn’t know that. And yes, it’s the same Sabu. The reason he’s here is he’s the Sheik’s nephew and Sheik was the king of Detroit back in the day. Lynn is in a mask here. WOW it’s weird hearing Sabu being talked about by Tony. Also that sounds like La Parka’s future music but I’m not sure. Both guys are in purple which is odd to see. They do all kinds of flying around ringside with Sabu doing all kinds of crazy dives etc.

We even get a Bobo Brazil reference to make this even more off the wall. This is pretty good for today’s standards despite being sloppy, but for 1995 this was INSANE. I mean remember, WWF was running stuff like Mabel vs. Taker at this time so having Lynn vs. Sabu on a major PPV was ridiculous.

Sabu wins it with a moonsault and Sheik throws a fireball at Lynn and hits him in the mask. Ok then. Heenan freaks over this and wants to know how to do that. Don’t ask Hogan. He tried it once and it didn’t work at all.

Rating: B+. Somewhat above average match, but considering the timeframe, this was insanity. Rey was nearly a year away from changing the whole idea of what cruiserweight wrestling was, but everyone knew this kind of stuff rocked. Sabu can be passable when he’s not trying to do a garbage match, and this is an example of that.

We talk about Hogan/Giant for a bit and go to the Master’s Lair to hear from him and Taskmaster. I would ask how we get a camera and electricity in there, but it doesn’t need to be asked. Why is that you ask? BECAUSE THE LAIR IS IN THE ARENA. Ok, let’s think for a minute. We have Kevin Sullivan and his master, an old man, standing in the arena with no apparent protection. Is there a reason why Hogan isn’t out there bashing their heads in with a chair?

I mean, I get that his friends are all busy, but can’t he fight off an old man and Kevin Sullivan on his own? This is something that I mean when I say idiotic storylines that go beyond suspension of disbelief. I have no idea what Master is saying here. Something about an eclipse or something. I wonder if he looks like that at the airport. Oh we get a mention of the Yeti. We’ll get to that one later. And now let’s talk about the trucks. The fans are booing the heck out of this. Let’s end this now.

Lex Luger vs. Meng

So if Luger wins here, he gets Savage later. Ok then. The fans pelt Sullivan with garbage. I knew I always liked Detroit. During Luger’s entrance we get a HILARIOUS sight joke that if you know your history is great. There’s a graveyard set due to Halloween and one of the graves says Crockett. If you get that joke, it’s hilarious. If not, it means nothing at all. Meng gets his head rams into the buckle and….it works? Come on man, learn your stereotypes!

Luger was rocking the mullet at this point which is just amusing. Meng busts out a small freaking package of all things. Well that was unexpected. Luger works on the right arm. Wow that’s weird to type. I know the common complaint about guys like Cena is they only know five moves, but I think Luger might break that. He might only know four: punch, clothesline, slam, rack. Oh wait: he uses an atomic drop. Dang I thought I had him there.

Meng is a weird case as he was someone that they seemed ready to push for like 3 and a half years but they never pulled the trigger on. Odd as he could have been perfect for a quick heel run near the title. Not saying he should have gotten it or anything, but a run against a top face was certainly within the question. Oh yeah: the NWO happened. He hits a chinlock, which is better than the nerve hold I guess.

Apparently the Dungeon of Doom is recruiting Luger. Yeah I don’t remember it either. We talk about Heenan talking to Sonny Onoo. That’s more foreshadowing for Starrcade which was a very interesting show. We’ll get to that soon. Meng gets his Golden Spike and Sullivan runs in and kicks Luger to give him the win. Ok then. Apparently it’s a method of getting Luger to fight Savage. Ok then. Yeah it’s odd but it kind of makes sense in a way.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s long but not very good. Also the ending was just rather annoying. Not particularly bad, but it’s just there. Luger was boring as always, but this needed to lose about 4 minutes and it makes it FAR better. This wasn’t that interesting but it certainly was long.

Gene is with the Giant. He literally doesn’t make it up to his shoulder. That’s just amusing. Giant taking the mic and Gene’s hand with it is funny stuff as Gene tries in vain to get out of his grip. Giant is pretty funny here as he’s like 23 years old and about 100lbs lighter than he is today.

Arn Anderson/Brian Pillman vs. Sting/Ric Flair

So basically before Fall Brawl, Anderson and Flair had been fighting. Pillman gave Andersont he win by kicking Flair in the head. The next night on Nitro they had a rematch in a cage and Anderson and Pillman beat him down. Flair got Sting to help him, but Flair got jumped before the show so it’s a handicap match to start. Sting is US Champion here if that means anything to anyone at all.

Sting of course saw nothing wrong with this plan at all. The fans want Flair. Sting does a great job of fighting on his own for awhile but after about five minutes here comes Flair! He’s in street clothes and the fans like him. There’s a massive bandage over his head and Sting is in trouble now. The heels go old school and bust out a Rocket Launcher. Again, a few people will actually get that.

The idea here is that Sting can’t make the tag no matter how hard he tries. We get a stupid spot where Pillman gets a half crab. Ok, that’s fine. Pillman is pulling back on the leg to apply pressure right? Anderson reaches out his hand for extra pressure. One thing: Arn is pulling the opposite way. Wouldn’t that, like, take pressure off of Sting? Flair runs in for a save and gets a HUGE pop.

One thing though: he never actually gets a shot in on either heel. That doesn’t mean anything….does it? Sting is screaming for the NATURE BOY! Does Sting want to ride Space Mountain? This is fifteen years ago and Flair still has a horrible looking chest. That’s amazing. Sting FINALLY makes the tag and the place erupts. Wait for it. Wait for it. FLAIR DRILLS STING! Sting snaps but he gets beaten down. Flair is of course fine as Gene waits on the ramp for Flair.

The two not named Flair hold up four fingers and Flair reforms the Horsemen. A guy named Benoit would be added soon. Pillman would be gone by about April though and they would replace him with Mongo a few months later. And we couldn’t get those four vs. Sting, Luger, Savage and Hogan in WarGames…why? Yes I know why but I like complaining.

Rating: B. This is ALL angle and while it’s predictable, it’s classic Horsemen. This was the right move to make as it all came off as a great angle and the whole thing worked very well I think. This is a lot based in taste for me so don’t go looking for a great match here.

I love the Horsemen and their shenanigans as this was a great throwback to the 80s with the group beatdown. Pillman never quite fit but Benoit certainly did so there we are. Also it’s funny seeing Sting get beaten down due to being an idiot. Sting vs. these two is hardly bad either.

Luger wants Savage.

We recap Sting vs. the Dungeon. Basically it’s your standard Hogan vs. Monster and Giant hurts Hogan’s neck. They shaved his mustache and he started wearing black. This naturally started up a war of monster trucks. You see the connection don’t you? I mean it’s clear as day isn’t it? And then on Monday we did something that I don’t want to talk about for as long as I can so we’ll spare it for later.

We come back to the announcers’ table and Bischoff has replaced Tony since Tony had to go play with his hamster I guess. We talk to the guy that made the truck. Yeah no one cares. Apparently the truck weighs 11,000 pounds with 6 foot tall tires.

We go to the roof and a few things to note. First of all, Hogan stands about 7’8 apparently as he TOWERS over those “six foot tall” tires. Second, the rules are you have to get both sets of axels out of the ring, which is 100ft in diameter. Ok, fair enough. Third, we’re going to weld the trucks together. Pay no attention to the fact that they were welded together earlier (this was taped the night before but that isn’t mentioned).

Also for no apparent reason, in this ring we have two charges that will go off if you run over them. Yes, allegedly, on the roof of a building, there are BOMBS that will go off if a truck runs over them. The idiocy here is off the charts. Let’s get this over with.

First of all, we waste a few minutes welding the trucks together. Allegedly these trucks run on alcohol. So wait. There are BOMBS, as in EXPLODING FIRE, near alcohol based fuel? And this company made money??? Again, someone was PAID to make this up. That’s sad.

Oh and they have co-pilots so they’re only driving one set of axels. Hogan gets put halfway out but makes the save. Hogan’s truck has a flag kind of thing that is supposed to be the bandana I guess. One of the bombs goes off and my head hurts. Ah I think I know why Tony left: he has integrity. And Hogan wins of course. Somehow, the idiocy is just beginning.

Giant gets out of his truck and goes after Hogan, and the champ goes back towards the edge of the building. They fight some more up on the ledge and Hogan accidentally knocks Giant OFF THE ROOF. Yes, this was on a major Pay Per View broadcast by a major wrestling company. Hogan’s acting here makes Mr. Nanny look like De Niro. The monster truck dude has to sit here and not break up laughing. That’s just awesome.

And after the apparent death of a wrestler, let’s have a match!

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Dang it’s a lucky thing they won their matches and that this is all they had left other than the main event isn’t it? And thus begins a grand WCW tradition of “we’re going to talk about something else entirely while this match is going on.”

Tony: For a minute let’s talk about this match. They make it about 8 seconds. This will apparently be on the front page of every newspaper in the world tomorrow. After some uninteresting wrestling, Jimmy Hart comes down for no adequately explored reason and Luger gets run into him. Elbow ends it.

Rating: F+. This was like 5 minutes long and I don’t remember any of it. That’s never a good sign. Just a total filler here as was the majority of the rest of WCW’s upper midcard around this time. There was this big mystery angle and all that jazz and it never went anywhere.

Heenan wants to know what’s going on and he leaves to go find out. We recap, as in reshow, the Hogan/Giant thing. Tony tries to keep from cracking up despite of Heenan’s overacting.

WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

They introduce Giant first but Hogan comes out instead, all in black and sans facial hair. Wow that’s odd to see. Was Hart being Hogan’s BFF ever explained? Giant of course walks out with no explanation at all. In what might be the funniest thing that I have EVER seen in wrestling, the camera shoots back to Hogan just in time for him to turn to the camera and blankly stare while his mouth hangs open in awe.

I laughed out loud for a LONG time. I mean the timing was better than you could have planned if you tried forever. This was hilarious stuff to say the least. Heenan sounds orgasmic over this. His hatred of Hogan stayed forever if nothing else. Hogan has black horns painted on his head. Uh….deep?

He can’t slam him though. Oh and Giant is allegedly Andre’s son. Heenan: Eat Hogan like you would eat villagers! Ok then. Giant hooks a test of strength once Hogan is on his knees already. You know that might be more effective if your muscles were flexing or if you had ANY torque on them.

Heenan says he’s never seen Hogan wrestle in anything other than yellow and red. Odd that he’s seemingly managed against him in blue or white tights but what do I know? Giant is destroying him here. Hogan makes a comeback to some SOLID face pops and knocks Giant to the floor. Taskmaster tries to get Giant to leave but Hogan, like an idiot, stops him. Giant gets a SWEET backbreaker. Hogan was WAY in the air for that and it looked awesome.

Heenan points out how stupid Giant is for not going for Hogan’s bad neck. Give the guy a break Bobby. I mean he just fell off the  roof! The bear hug goes on and Tony cracks me up by making it sound like it’s perfectly normal to come back after falling off a roof. Even in kayfabe this is ridiculous. With the paint knocked off Hogan’s head it looks like there’s a Triforce on it. And back to the bear hug. He powers out but walks into the chokeslam. He powers out of that too.

He Hulks Up and the usual puts Giant down, but the referee goes down too. The fans say Jimmy did it. Just to add to the stupidity of this match, when Hogan is yelling at Hart, you can see Giant stick his head up three separate times to see what’s going on. Even playing devil’s advocate and saying he’s playing possum, you don’t have a 7’ monster playing peek-a-boo!

Anyway, Jimmy hits Hogan with the belt but Giant saves him. And it’s bear hug time again. Luger and Savage come out. Luger of course turns heel and….here it comes. This is the thing I didn’t want to talk about all night. On the previous Nitro, the Master had said he had a surprise. At the end of the show, a random block of ice blew up and a mummy came out of it. Yes, I said a mummy.

They called him a Yeti, but he’s a large man wrapped in bandages and tape. What the heck would you call him? With Giant having him in a bear hug, Yeti comes up behind Hogan and more or less dry humps him without actually hurting him at all. It’s Reese from the Flock if you care who is under there.

Luger puts Hogan in the rack to something resembling a pop. They dry hump Savage and rack him too. Giant wins by DQ because he was Hogan’s manager when he hit the referee. They announce that the title can’t change hands on DQ.

OR CAN IT?

Yeah in this match, Hart slipped a clause in, stating that the title CAN change hands on a DQ, so the Giant is the champion. They would strip him of the title in like two weeks and put it up in the inaugural World War Three Battle Royal, which is complete nonsense as Hogan lost the title via a stipulation in a contract he signed without reading. That’s not Giant’s fault but whatever. Hogan and Savage are helped out to end the show. Heenan crying from happiness is funny.

Rating: D. This was a Hogan match with a big angle to end it and nothing more. Giant wasn’t capable of doing much here as he was just a 23 year old kid that had like 5 matches under his belt but he was 7’0 tall, athletic beyond belief and could talk. I’d push him hard like that too.

Anyway, this wasn’t that good but it was Hogan fighting a monster which was what he was best at so I can’t fault them there. A bit long with FAR too many bear hugs but to be fair Giant had no experience and no real style set yet. He would get a lot better. Yeah this was his WCW debut. I’d say this was fine given the circumstances then.

Overall Rating: F+. Uh…yeah. This show sucked and it sucked bad. The highlight of the show is EASILY the Horsemen thing. Outside of that it’s a bunch of WTF moments with bad wrestling mixed in. This just didn’t work at all and it came off really badly. The whole thing was about Hogan and Giant, which is fine, but the roof thing wound up going nowhere.

It wasn’t mentioned at all in the last 20 minutes of the show and it was never explained at all. In short, it wasn’t needed at all. Just a lot of stuff here that made no sense at all and it didn’t work. Bad show, but a ton of moments that are considered classic bad ones here.

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I turned on the show and it was last week’s episode. I’ll track down this week’s episode but for now, there won’t be one because there’s no new episode airing here.

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Well it’s after Vengeance and not a lot has changed. Rhodes is still IC Champion because he didn’t defend at the PPV. Henry is still champion because he broke the ring. Ace is still annoying because it takes half the show for him to introduce himself. Other than that, there isn’t much to talk about on this show. It should be interesting to see where thing go as we approach Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ring collapsing at Vengeance. There’s talk of something happening tonight but nothing specific is mentioned. This was a lot more like a commercial than an opening video.

First line of the show: “With Vengeance still a trending topic in the WWE…” It’s going to be a long night.

Teddy is in the ring to open things up and says Big Show, Henry and the status of the title are in flux. Both of them are here tonight though and the future of the title will be addressed tonight. That of course brings out Christian. He says the future of the title will be addressed right now. Vengeance was historic, meaning that it is now history. Since Show has had his shot, we need a new challenger.

Teddy brings up the loss to Sheamus and Christian says he’s resilient. He wants Long to name anyone that deserves the shot more than him. That brings out Punk of all people. Teddy talks about how there will be some Raw people here tonight for a Super Smackdown. The Brand Split’s days are numbered. Both wrestlers run down their respective bosses and Punk says Ace makes Teddy look like Theodore Roosevelt. Long: “Thank you for that player.” Punk: “It wasn’t exactly a compliment.”

Punk says he wants Christian to get one more match and Christian runs him down for some reason. The Canadian says Punk was the guy that stole the title and that Punk doesn’t deserve the title shot. Punk says he isn’t the one complaining and whining, which he uses a more colorful word for. Make that a word he uses about 15 times. Christian says no one wants Punk here, drawing a huge Punk chant. Punk says there are at least 10,000 people that want to see him here in Houston. The main event is made. Punk: “Holler holler holler.”

Air Boom vs. Awesome Truth

I’m not sure how smart this is but that’s WWE for you. We get a lot of clips from the PPV and Raw, showing the Cena beatdowns and the announcement of Rock/Cena, 24 hours after that was told to us on Vengeance. This is non-title. Kofi vs. Miz gets us going. A big knee puts Kofi down and it’s off to Truth. Off to Bourne as well for some double teaming by the champions.

BIG kick to the head takes Truth down but the Shooting Star is avoided. The heels double team Bourne on the floor a bit as we take a break. We get an explanation for Miz/Truth being annoyed because of Mania’s main event being made without them being in it. Back with the heels beating Bourne down again and Truth hooking a front facelock. Evan snaps off an enziguri and it’s a hot tag to the African who lives in America and used to be Jamaican. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a BIG spinning cross body off the top. Bourne goes to the floor and the Little Jimmy Finale ends Kofi at 4:48 shown of 8:18.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything and while I get the point of pushing Awesome Truth, wasn’t there another team they could beat other than the champions? I could easily see Air Boom losing the titles before Survivor Series but it’s going to take more than that to make Awesome Truth into anything remotely close to a threat to Cena/Rock.

Awesome Truth runs down their list of accomplishments and says Cena picked the only guy that dislikes him more than they do.

In the back we see Bryan and Kidd arguing over Bret vs. Shawn. That’s a cool idea for a match actually. Santino (in a WWE All-Stars shirt) says we should have a match to see who the better trainer was.

Hornswoggle is a Broski. Thankfully Team Vickie pops up and brags that Ziggler has the title still. Dolph vs. Orton for later with Swagger banned from ringside. They leave and Aksana appears. DANG those things are big. Teddy sends Horny off.

Overly long recap of HHH and Nash from Monday.

Wade Barrett vs. Trent Barreta

Barrett says the Barrett Barrage continues. Trent tries to speed things up but walks into a Bossman Slam for two. Off to a bow and arrow hold which doesn’t last long. A big boot puts Trent on the floor as we’re in squash mode here. Barrett keeps hammering on him and counters a rana attempt into Wasteland at 2:33. Total dominance which Booker said as I was typing it.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the bell here’s Cody with the Baggers. He jumps in on commentary as a distraction for Randy. These two usually have good matches together so this should be decent. Cody doesn’t want to talk about Vengeance. The match is pretty fast paced to start. Well, fast paced for the standards of these two. No one can get much of an advantage here. Cody takes credit for Dolph’s success so far since he wore Orton down on Sunday.

Orton takes over and drops a knee onto the arm (he missed) for two. Randy uses some psychology though by working on the arm. It would have been better if he was working on the arm he dropped the knee on but maybe that’s too much to ask for. Orton gets all fired up so Ziggler wisely runs. I’ve never gotten why more heels don’t do that. If you see Hogan Hulking Up, GET OUT OF THE RING. Vickie yells at Orton as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off a dropkick. Ziggler works on something that looks like the inbred cousin of the Rings of Saturn. Orton escapes but a DDT gets two for Dolph. Booker credits Ziggler, saying he does this with no gimmick or foreign objects. Cody takes offense to this, which means this might be the beginning of Booker vs. Rhodes which I’ve heard rumors of.

Ziggler goes up but Orton pops him in the ribs. Any chance we’ll get a Bob Orton superplex? Oh yes we will. Now for the bonus points will we get a mention of Pappy Orton? The suplex gets two and they slug it out. Orton gets all fired up and hits the powerslam to set up the RKO. Scratch that as it’s just the elevated DDT. Ziggler counters with a NICE superkick for two. Zig Zag is countered and Ziggler charges into the RKO for the pin at 10:27 shown of 13:57.

Rating: B. As usual, these two have a good match. Ziggler doesn’t need to lose anymore though as he’s lost most of his matches or has needed to cheat to win. The cheating is fine as he’s a heel, but he needs to stop losing clean. Even a countout loss would work fine for him. This was good though and I like this pairing more and more every time.

We recap the mask vs. mask match from last week.

Sin Cara Black (Hunico) looks like a stereotypical Mexican now and pants a lot. He calls himself Hunico (in a Spanish speech) and says it’s payback time. Oh joy. Yes let’s make a Mexican themed heel in a place where there’s a large Mexican population. Nothing could go wrong there at all right?

Brodus Clay needs to return already.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

This is the Bret vs. Shawn Special. Things start off fast and they go to the mat. Bryan can’t hook the LeBell Lock but does manage to hit a running clothesline and a dropkick for two. Kidd rolls through a middle rope rana for two and it’s pinfall reversal time. Tyson tries the sharpshooter but Bryan counters into the LeBell Lock for the tap at 2:37. Short but really fun while it lasted.

Video on the ending of Raw, including the announcement of Rock as Cena’s partner.

Cole gets on the table and goes over the Michael Cole Challenge. We also see the same pictures he tweeted on Raw. Next.

Here’s Show to talk about the title match and what happened with the ring. “Oops I did it again.” That got a chuckle out of me. He says he’s never been in a fight like that. Show says he’s never been right in the head so let’s reenforce the ring and do it again! He’s been in conference with Teddy Long all day and there will indeed be a rematch. That brings out Henry who is a bit ginger. Must have eaten some bad Slater.

Henry says no rematch and that he made Show hurt, not the ring. The challenge is issued to fight right now and Henry bails. This was pretty basic.

Christian vs. CM Punk

The first few minutes goes back and forth with basic stuff and neither guy getting an advantage. Not that you would know that from the commentary as we talk about Herman Cain, Johnny Ace and Cole’s wife. After about three minutes of decent stuff, Christian misses a middle rope headbutt. Punk loads up the GTS and here’s Del Rio with music and Ricardo. The distraction lets Christian escape and we take a break.

Back with Christian in control and getting two on a few things, including the reverse DDT. Cole logically explains how Del Rio didn’t cheat in the last man standing match with the answer of “if there are no rules, how can you cheat?” Booker has nothing to answer that with. Punk fires off some strikes to put Christian down and Punk goes with him.

Back up and Punk starts up his comeback with a swinging neckbreaker for two. The sunset flip out of the corner by Christian is rolled through and Punk kicks him in the face. A middle rope cross body by Christian is rolled through for two. Punk tries a dive but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk hits the running knee and bulldog but has to chase Ricardo away. Springboard clothesline gets two so Punk loads up the Macho Elbow. Ricardo interferes and Del Rio is able to crotch Punk and momentum changes again. Christian sets for a spear but here’s Sheamus to distract him and the GTS ends this at 9:36 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B-. The match started off slowly but the stuff after the commercial helped it out a lot. I was wondering where Sheamus was so the run in at the end was perfectly fine. I don’t think anyone expected Christian to win here and that’s fine. Punk needs the momentum going into his title match so a win over a main event jobber is fine. Fun little TV main event.

Overall Rating: B. Smackdown is back with a good show here. The idea of the Brand Split being over on Fridays as well is a nice touch and we should get some good matches out of it in the end. This felt a lot more like a Raw than a Smackdown but Raw’s stars are bigger deals than Smackdown’s so that’s understandable. Once Rock is back things will pick up again, but for now this was fine. Good show but not a classic.

Results
Awesome Truth b. Air Boom – Little Jimmy Finale to Kingston
Wade Barrett b. Trent Barreta – Wasteland
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – LeBell Lock
CM Punk b. Christian – GTS

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 27, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in the James Storm as champion era now which is what a lot of fans have wanted to have happen for a very long time now. It’s nice to have some fresh blood in there because there’s no reason to have Angle as champion anymore. His reign was becoming stale so having the change was a good thing. That being said, let’s see if TNA can keep up their hot streak. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s title change as Storm won the world title in a shocker, providing you don’t read spoilers.

Here’s the champ to open the show with a new video, a new song and the belt. He talks about watching Wrestlemania III with his dad and saying he wanted to be a pro wrestler. He couldn’t do it without all of the fans. However there’s another group of guys he wants to thank, so get out here Fourtune. Storm wants to set a few things right, and that means Roode gets the first shot at the title.

That brings out Joe of all people. He says he used to be part of the group that was always held down. James has broken out of that role though because he’s now the champion. Joe sees the same four people before he got that belt. He looks at Fourtune and sees a group trying to keep it all in the family. Incest is implied. Storm says Joe hasn’t earned anything so why is he running his mouth? Joe says because Storm is about to give the title shot to a failure.

Cue Sting who makes Roode vs. Joe for the title shot tonight. The winner gets the title match next week.

Hardy vs. Ray tonight in his first match since March.

Daniels says he didn’t say he quit at BFG. AJ doctored audio allegedly, which is what Rock/the Corporation did in 99. He fights Van Dam next.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rob Van Dam

Feeling out process to start with both of them having control for a bit each time. AJ pops in for commentary a few minutes into things. Standing moonsault gets two for Van Dam but Daniels takes over again with a release Rock Bottom. BME doesn’t hit so Van Dam fires off some kicks. He loads up Rolling Thunder but Daniels rolls to the floor. Van Dam is like whatever man and dives out to take Daniels down again. Five Star misses but RVD lands on his feet. They go to the floor where Daniels finds a tool box. A shot to the ribs of RVD draws the DQ at 5:23.

Rating: C-. I don’t get the appeal of Daniels. The guy bores me to death every time I see him out there. He’s glued to AJ’s hip which isn’t helping him at all either. Get the two of them apart and let Daniels face someone else. ANYONE else. Not a bad match here, but I didn’t want to watch it at all, especially since it’s just leading to more AJ vs. Daniels.

AJ comes down for the save from a screwdriver.

Here are Gail, Karen, Madison and Traci. Gail talks about how she did what everyone told her to do for years until Karen brought her back and told her that it’s all about Gail. Karen makes Gail vs. Velvet for the title at Turning Point. Gail says get someone out here for her to beat up.

Gail Kim vs. Tara

Gail jumps her to start and it’s all her in the opening. Tara is sent to the floor and Traci is yelled at for trying to help her. After a break we’re back with Gail still in total control. Tara fires off some basic stuff but Gail uses the same finisher she used back in WWE, which is that boot to the jaw where she drops the other girl down onto the side of her boot. That’s good for the pin at 6:57.

Rating: D+. Same thing as before here, although the legs looked better in this. Gail practically squashing Tara isn’t something I expected. Not that Gail shouldn’t have squashed someone, but is there really no one else? Gee I guess there actually isn’t. At least it wasn’t ODB or Jackie.

Bischoff and Flair are here. Didn’t they hate each other or something like 13 years ago?

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Robbie E

Eric starts by locking up with the referee and now we’re ready to go. Eric gets a sunset flip for two. A crucifix ends this at 1:00.

Rob Terry and Robbie E beat Young down with little Rob saying he’ll win the belt. Eric gets on the mic and says a Jersey Shore guy is coming next week.

Daniels is on the phone and says he wants his title match after beating RVD. Kaz comes in and says he wants AJ and Daniels to make up. He offers Daniels a mini vacation in California and Daniels says he’ll call him about it.

Ray says he’s going to take care of Hardy tonight and make his first match back his last.

Garrett Bischoff recaps the story of his dad making him be all evil. I’m not sure I buy that but it works for a backstory.

Here’s Eric who says he has important family business to take care of tonight. He calls out Garrett and after awhile here he is. Eric talks about how he raised Garrett to follow him instead of to think for himself. He says about what you would expect him to say to his son. Garrett says this isn’t what he wanted. Eric says he has half an hour to either apologize or it’s child abuse time.

We cut to Flair in the back where he rants about Garrett a bit and says he’s going to yell at him.

After a break Flair and Garrett miss up (Garrett: “Yes Mr. Flair?” Flair: “Not Mr. Flair. God.”) and Flair says Garrett is a punk. He rants for a long while more and says he might beat Garrett up later.

We recap Jeff Hardy’s return and all of the people reacting to him. Jeff Jarrett’s voice is over the video, talking about how no one wants him here.

Here’s Jarrett who says someone forgot a piece of video in that package. He’s talking about Victory Road which Jarrett will never forget. We also can’t air the main event of Turning Point 2006 when Jeff no showed there too. That brings out Hardy for another pull apart brawl. Bully Ray jumps Hardy and it’s time for their match.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

Ray gets in a chain shot and we go to a break almost immediately. Back with Hardy hammering away a bit and hitting a Whisper in the Wind. Twist of Fate is countered and Ray hits a big boot to take him down. Ray pounds him down and a big elbow drop gets two as does an avalanche splash. He hammers in with some crossface shots but a charge gets feet in the corner. There’s a Matt screaming legdrop for two. Twist of Fate and Swanton give him the clean pin at 9:42.

Rating: C. It wasn’t that good of a match, but for a return by Jeff this was a decent enough performance. They kept Hardy to what he does best (selling) and only had him hit high spots. This wasn’t that bad for the most part and for a meaningless match, it was a good way to get Jeff back into the ring with someone he’s familiar with.

Jeff is being interviewed post match and Jarrett comes through the crowd to blast him. Immortal sets to put him through a table but Anderson makes the save.

Roode says this is another obstacle in his way and he’ll go through Joe tonight.

Robert Roode vs. Samoa Joe

Roode has a new entrance as well. Winner gets the shot against Storm next week. They take turns beating each other down in the corner and Roode gets a neckbreaker for one. Crossface is countered as Joe heads to the floor. Joe hooks him into some chinlocks on the mat but Roode fights up and hits the spinebuster.

They slug it out and Roode gets the best of that because he’s the good guy. Blockbuster gets two but Joe escapes the Payoff. Death Valley Driver gets two for the fat boy. MuscleBuster is countered into a crossface but Joe escapes. Joe goes after the knee but Roode snaps off a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: C. Not a bad match again but nothing of note. Was there ever any doubt that Roode would win? I have no idea why they’re using Roode vs. Storm so quickly. That could be BFG next year or Lockdown or something but instead, we get it next week at a show that has already been taped. Nice to see them having this huge match after such great build right?

Storm comes out for the post match staredown.

Here’s Bischoff (older version) for the big showdown with his son. As he’s coming to the ring, it’s announced that next week that we get Hardy/Anderson vs. Ray/Jarrett. Eric calls out his boy and is all happy because he’s sure Garrett is going to apologize. Garrett says nothing and Eric gets testy. Eric keeps shoving him and saying to apologize until Garrett grabs him with a fist pulled back.

That brings out Flair because he has to be out here for some reason. He rants and raves for a bit until Garrett hits him. Eric hits him low and Garrett gets beaten down. Remember, this is what is ending the show. My goodness. Flair and Eric stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was boring. That’s the only way to describe it. The matches were all just ok, the main event for next week was built along with some other stories but it was nothing interesting, and the focus is right back on Bischoff and Flair and whatever their drama of the week is. I don’t know who they think they’re drawing to the show with a 62 year old vs. the non-wrestling son of an executive, but I don’t think it’s too many people. Bad show this week.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels via DQ when Daniels hit Van Dam with a toolbox
Gail Kim b. Tara – Eat Defeat
Eric Young b. Robbie E – Crucifix
Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray – Swanton Bomb
Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe – Fisherman’s Suplex

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Monday Nitro #54
Date: September 23, 1996
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 4,308
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff, Mike Tenay

As mentioned on the previous show, this is the one where everyone not named Savage is in Japan. Eric, ever the lunkhead, mentioned this last week and the NWO knows about it. Expect a lot of unusual names on this show and a lot of matches that no one would ever want to see. Oh and a lot of the NWO as well I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Tony holds up an ad that is allegedly in the USA Today, talking about Nitro being taken over by the NWO tonight. Larry talks about parasites.

We get clips of fans tearing up NWO stuff.

Konnan/Kevin Sullivan vs. Brad Armstrong/Juventud Guerrera

The two Mexicans start us off and Konnan takes it to the mat. Juvy is like “screw that in Spanish” and fires off a plancha and slingshot leg to speed things up. And there’s the 187 to stop that quickly. Sullivan won’t tag in so Konnan has to keep fighting. Armstrong comes in and cleans house a bit but there’s a powerbomb. Sullivan finally makes a tag and here are the NWO sign guys. Sullivan gets a pin. That’s literally all he did in the entire match: walk in and get a pin. Pretty much a squash match.

The Dungeon beats down Konnan for no apparent reason post match. And then they stop and help him up. It was an initiation according to Sullivan.

We get some clips from the end of last week’s show where the NWO said they were coming for Savage this week. Savage says he’s a marked man and if that’s what it takes to get at Hogan, that’s cool with him. He’s the last hope for WCW and says he volunteered to stay here tonight on his own. As for Liz, and I quote, “The only thing we have in common is that in a thousand lifetimes, we might be goldfish swimming in the same water.” Kids, don’t do drugs.

Mike Enos vs. Chris Jericho

We’re told that it’s Harlem Heat vs. Outsiders for the titles at Havoc. They start fast and Jericho gets slapped, as does Enos. Enos channels his inner JYD and gets on all fours to headbutt Jericho. Pretty basic match so far as we talk about Savage and the NWO. Larry says there was something else Savage said that Larry didn’t like. He doesn’t bother saying what that is, but I guess that’s an exercise left up to us.

They go to the floor and it’s all Enos. He loads up the steps and suplexes Jericho onto them, which isn’t a DQ I guess. Three minutes after he initially brought it up, Larry says it was the last hope for WCW line that he didn’t like. Off to a bearhug and then a powerslam for two. All Enos so far. Jericho gets put into a Boston Crab which isn’t ironic yet. Over the shoulder backbreaker now but Jericho counters into a sunset flip for two.

Missile dropkick puts Enos down and up to the corner we go. He sets for a super rana but Enos powerbombs him out of it (not as exciting as it sounds) for two. In a pretty cool ending that I don’t think I’ve seen before, Jericho counters a powerslam into something like a powerslam of his own (better than it sounds) for the pin. That looked pretty sweet actually.

Rating: B-. Much better match here than I was expecting. Enos was fine for what he was supposed to be here: a power guy acting as a foil for Jericho to look good against here. The ending was good too and it’s always fun to see a guy like Jericho getting one of his first big breaks on national TV. Fun match that did things simply but well.

Pat Tanaka vs. Glacier

Tanaka comes out to what would become Goldberg’s music. The guy that got the music became one of the biggest stars ever while Tanaka became the referee for Micro Championship Wrestling. It’s snowing again and we hear about Larry being a black belt also. Think they’ll be kicking a lot? Larry explains what the fist behind the hand for the bow means (wanting violence to be the second choice). They avoid kicks for awhile until Tanaka hooks a sitout powerbomb. Ignore that as a spin kick ends this in about 30 seconds. Glacier won in case you’re really stupid.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

Arn vs. Lex is announced for Havoc as well. The champs jump them and double team Rock for a bit. Booker vs. Rock to start but it’s off to Grunge quickly. We take a break and come back with Heat in control now. Booker crotches himself on a kick attempt though and it’s a not hot tag to Grunge. Big clothesline puts Johnny down (it’s Booker T/Stevie Ray vs. Johnny Grunge/Rocco Rock if you’ve been confused so far) and it’s off to Ray.

Time to talk about Savage again and we have a table from nowhere set up on the floor. Grunge is knocked to the floor and hit his back on it on the way down. Well that sucks. A Harlem Side Kick hits Grunge for two and we cut to the back to see the NWO arrive, now in two limos. At least it’s a chinlock that we’re missing which is an old school technique for getting around this kind of stuff. It was usually used when there was a fight in the crowd or something. Whenever you see fans looking elsewhere, you’ll often see a veteran go into a rest hold to make sure the fans don’t miss anything. That’s how a good wrestler thinks.

The hot tag brings in Rocco and he cleans house as well as a dirty man like he can. He fires off a bunch of right hands but runs into the Heat. The Hangover misses for the most part (Booker’s back landed on him instead) and we get a near fall due to Grunge’s foot being on the ropes. There’s a small package on Booker and Rock reverses it for the pin and the shocking title change.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but this was the kind of surprise that was designed to make you think anything could happen. They lost the titles like two weeks later so that Harlem Heat could defend against the Outsiders so it’s not like this lasted a significant amount of time, but it was a good surprise and I was legit shocked when it happened.

Second hour begins.

Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

Eric says there’s a new NWO member tonight. I can’t think of who that would be as the next member wasn’t until October and it was nothing of note unless I’m totally overlooking someone. Valentine jumps him and that doesn’t work all that well. They go to the floor with Valentine having his token control period. We hear that Super Calo has injured his elbow in a dark match so he’s out for awhile. Savage clocks Valentine with a chair twice and that’s a DQ. The whole point of this is coming down the aisle though.

Here’s the NWO and it’s beatdown time. A Jackknife puts him down and Savage is in trouble. Giant grabs a mic and introduces Hogan. They beat him down even more and drop a leg on him. They even beat him with a Slim Jim. Hogan talks about Savage being bald and they spraypaint the top of his head.

They storm the announcers’ booth and Bobby runs with Tenay. Eric can’t get away though and the announcers sit down with him. They debut their head of security: Vincent. That would be Virgil from WWF. To be fair, no one cared about him or had heard of him in years so it’s not like this meant anything.

Ok so the NWO will be running the commentary for the rest of the night. Eric keeps trying to leave but can’t get away. They debut the NWO Nascar car which used to be the WCW car. Kyle Petty is the driver.

Jim Powers vs. Michael Wallstreet

Giant is the new announcer. Hall and Nash leave the booth and DiBiase sits down instead. The Outsiders are beating up Powers now so there’s no match.

Randy Anderson walks out so Nick Patrick says he’ll do all the refereeing.

Giant chokeslams Powers again and we cut to Hogan in the back, spraypainting something. He comes down the hall and runs into the Nasty Boys. Hogan gives them his hotel key and says tonight they won’t be fighting the Outsiders because they can talk some business with Hogan later. A defection is implied.

Jim Duggan vs. Syxx

It’s supposed to be Ron Studd but that doesn’t happen as Hogan and Nash beat him down in the aisle. We hear what might be the debut of the NWO theme song. Hogan jumps in on commentary which is something that is very rare to hear. Duggan takes over to start and gets the USA chant going. You know, Syxx is from Minnesota. Wouldn’t a USA chant help him as well? The three point clothesline hits but Giant pulls Duggan out and hits one of the worst chokeslams I’ve ever seen on the concrete so that Syxx can get the pin. He had no other offense.

NWO Sting vs. Bo LaDue

LaDue has never had another televised match as far as I know. Sting does the usual Sting stuff and no one buys it. Splash and Deathlock end this.

Hogan talks about Savage a bit.

High Voltage vs. Outsiders

This is part of the NWO Tag Team Tournament. The French Canadians are supposed to be the opponents but the Outsiders come out next so the French dudes run. I have no idea what there is to say about this. Hall beats on one of them, Nash beats on one of them, we take a break, we come back with more beatings, we get a Brooke/Nick reference, Hall suplexes Rage off the top, a Jackknife pins Kaos. That match lasted about 11 minutes.

Rating: F. Yeah it’s a squash, yeah it’s supposed to be dominant, yeah it was really boring.

The NWO talks for a few minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the benchmarks where you can see that everything is about TV instead of being for the live audience. Can you imagine how bored they’ve been for the last two hours of this show? Nothing has happened at all. The whole thing was about the NWO and they have no idea that Vincent is the new man either. This was all for the TV show, which is fine but it takes the crowd out of stuff quickly. Not a good show, but a lot of that is due to everyone being in Japan.