Wednesday was the biggest day I’ve ever had on here and it’s because of you all. Thank you very much as I’ve been wanting to break my old record for over 9 months now.

KB

NXT
Date: December 28, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

It continues. Anyway here we have another edition in the never ending saga that is the fifth season of NXT. I know I say that a lot, but what else is there really to say at this point? We have a love triangle regarding Bateman, Curtis and Maxine, which would be a bit better if the people in it were interesting. Anyway let’s get to it.

Striker is in the ring and says that in three weeks, we’ll be having NXT’s 100th show. A lot of people got their start here, so here’s Justin Gabriel. Before he can say anything though, here’s Slater. He talks about carrying Gabriel all the time and reiterates that he’s the One Man Rock Band. Someone find out what that’s supposed to mean. I’d really like to know. Gabriel asks him just that and Slater says that he plays instruments. Striker makes the match.

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

Slater hides in the corner as Josh tries to get the nickname Capetown Werewolf over for Gabriel. Striker goes over some of the history of NXT, such as Zack Ryder being the pro for Titus O’Neil back in Season 2. They speed things up and the fans like Gabriel’s speed moves. Gabriel works on the arm and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this. I can’t say I blame them. This has been pretty dull stuff so far. A clothesline puts Slater on the floor and Gabriel hits a big flip dive to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Gabriel breaking Slater’s momentum with an STO. He loads up the 450 but Slater crotches him. Justin gets knocked to the floor and is holding his thigh a bit. That gets two back in the ring but the hand hit the mat three times. Time for a chinlock now. Gabriel gets a small package for two and it’s back to the chinlock, both of which have been by Slater. Josh says this is his favorite season of NXT. The man has no taste.

Justin fires off some kicks and a springboard crossbody gets two. Striker takes credit for this (with a Barry Horowitz reference) as Gabriel’s second 450 attempt gets the same result. They slug it out from their knees and Justin hits an Eye of the Hurricane and a top rope Lionsault for two. You can hear what sounds like the referee saying “go home” and Slater hits a spinebuster for two. They go up to the corner and Slater is knocked throat first onto the top rope. A springboard 450 gives Gabriel the win at 13:02.

Rating: C+. It’s really impressive what happens when you give a match more than a minute and a half. I know it’s impossible to have matches going 12 minutes every week on TV and I’m not saying that’s what should happen, but it’s nice to see things like this every once in awhile. Not a classic or anything but it was a pretty decent match.

Raw Recap eats up a few minutes and focuses on Punk and the gauntlet.

Bateman comes up to Maxine in the back and says they’re both crazy so they’re perfect for each other. Maxine says that she didn’t like the weekly pillow fights and having to watch Titanic every week with his head on her shoulder. He says he’ll get her back and kisses her. That earns him a slap. They leave and we see Curtis watching from the shadows and being very happy about what he saw.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Darren Young is on commentary. Watson controls to start and Young complains as a distraction to let Tyson take over. Tyson hammers on him for a few minutes and you can hear individual fans shouting in the crowd. Watson gets a dropkick and makes a comeback. This crowd is almost eerie. Kidd jumps into a dropkick and there’s the spinning splash for two. Young gets up and distracts Watson so Kidd can hit a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Absolutely nothing to see here at all. Young is trying to get into the mind of O’Neil through Watson, which would be more interesting if this hadn’t been going on for going on ten months now. Also they waste Kidd on this? He’s one of the best regulars on this show if not the best and they waste him here? Seriously?

Aksana comes up to Maxine and and shows her some e-mails she found on Teddy’s phone. They’re from Bateman and says that he’s looking forward to being a Smackdown Superstar but to keep Maxine on NXT because she drags him down.

Johnny Curtis vs. Derrick Bateman

Brawl to start and Bateman takes over with loud clotheslines. They fall to the floor after more beating by Bateman. The crowd sounds like they’re at a funeral. Curtis takes over and Maxine takes over again. After a break Curtis is still in control. Clothesline gets two. This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in years. And then Bateman rolls him up for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: F. Imagine how interesting it is to watch white paint dry on growing grass. You might have a more entertaining day doing that than watching this match. The feud and story is decent but the matches are just dreadful because Bateman is better as a zany face and Curtis is better as a waiter, so the matches suck. Nothing to see here, just like every other week.

Bateman gets on his knee as Maxine gets in the ring. She walks past him and Curtis comes back out. They kiss and leave together.

Overall Rating: D. GAH JUST END IT ALREADY!!!! How in the world do they think anyone cares about these people at this point? There’s time for a sixth season before the Network launches. But are they going to do that? No. They’re going to keep this up until everyone on the planet is dead from a gunshot to the head after watching Curtis every week.

Results
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – Springboard 450 Splash
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Spinning Fisherman’s Neckbreaker
Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis – Rollup

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As I’m sure all of you have heard by now, Orton is injured. Last night at Smackdown there was an angle aired where he can be written off TV for awhile. It’s not currently known how bad it is. Sheamus will be replacing him on the house show circuit.

Thoughts on this?

This one should be a bit arguable.I’m going to go with the downward spirals of the Hardy Boys.  Jeff went from being a heel (seriously, WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA???) to Victory Road and Matt made him look like a pillar of stability by comparison.  These two were at one point considered the future and now they’re running jokes.  And Jeff will be world champion by Mania.

Your picks/thoughts?

Sometime soon, hopefully before the end of the year, I’ll be trying to consolidate a list of links to all shows I’ve done and putting them on the top of the main page. I’ll keep it updated with each review I post for easier navigation for both you all and myself.

KB

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2001
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a request from someone. Either way it’s a Raw from 2001 post Alliance which makes it automatically better than the previous show. Tonight the main event is RVD vs. Jericho for the Undisputed Title. Other than that I don’t know much about this show at all and I’m not sure why it was requested that this was reviewed. It’s post Armageddon so Jericho is world champion.  Let’s get to it.

Matt Hardy is in WWF New York drinking. Make your own jokes.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy

Taker is champion and has short hair here. He’s recently heel but is still Rollin. He’s booed out of the building….I think. Taker decks him before the bell rings and demands respect. Jeff hammers away and manages to dropkick Taker to the floor. A big dive to the floor hits railing though and Taker takes over again. Matt and Lita have broken up for some reason. This is total dominance by Taker. There’s the Last Ride and it gets a face pop. Lita goes up and Taker just glares at her. That gets rid of her and Jeff is done quick.

Rating: D. No idea what was up with the squashification here. I know Taker was far bigger than Jeff as Jeff was still a Hardy Boy here but maybe I’m just looking at it with almost 2012 eyes. Not much here but it made Taker look awesome….which goes against the idea of his heel turn but this was a bad year as far as common sense for WWF.

Taker carries Jeff to the back for no apparent reason. Oh wait he stops on the stage and lays Jeff down, then powerbombs him off the stage. Here’s one for Lita as well but she kicks him low. It doesn’t work but nice try. She gets tossed as well and Matt panics in WWF New York. Gee maybe you should have been here. Matt would get hurt on Smackdown and I don’t think they were back until the Rumble.

Matt calls to the arena and tries to find out about Lita.

Here’s Vince to talk about Austin. They don’t like each other anymore and the WHAT chants have recently debuted. We get a clip from Smackdown where Vince started a small fire and one of the fireman was Austin who beat up Booker T and Vince. This led to the AWESOME grocery store fight which was one of the first things I looked for upon discovering the wonders of Youtube. I may need to go back to that for pure nostalgia.

He demands Austin come out here and here’s Austin with the WHAT shirt. Vince yells at the fans that he hates the WHAT stuff and yeah heels are idiots in wrestling. Vince wants an apology and Austin is incensed. He says he took Booker on a shopping spree and lists off things that he gave Booker, saying it was a favor. He was calm, cool and collected. Austin lists off things he ate today and the chants just get louder and louder. He also had 9 beers and a Bloody Mary. This was one of Austin’s lasts gasps of charisma and it still works. Austin untucks his shirt but Booker saves Vince.

He pops up on the Tron and is next to Austin’s truck. Booker already took it for a joy ride and talks about the beating in the grocery store. The truck gets destroyed with some metal object and Austin goes after him.

During the break, Booker bailed as Austin got to the back. Austin chased after him in the beaten up truck.

Tag Titles: Albert/Scott 2 Hotty vs. Dudley Boys

Two guesses as to who has the titles here. Good night I could look at Dudleyville Stacy all day. D-Von vs. Scotty gets us going. Bubba distracts him and the champions take over. Double flapjack looks to kill Scotty and this is totally one sided. Off to Bubba who takes a superkick and it’s off to Albert. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo here and after a dance it’s a Giant Swing to D-Von. Missile dropkick from Scotty takes down Bubba and the Worm gets two. Stacy takes her boot off but Albert kisses her down. 3D ends Scotty.

Rating: D. Total squash here as I don’t think even Scotty’s grandmother thought he had a chance here. Any match with Stacy in that outfit can be called a failure but other than that there was nothing here at all. They had nothing else to do with the titles at this point as the great three way feud was long since done by this point.

Booker is on the phone with Austin and is hiding in a church. Vince: “Say what?” How nice of Vince to leave the speakerphone on for us. Booker is about to play Bingo. I remember this show.

Russ Haas, Charlie’s brother and a WWF developmental guy, passed away.

European Title: Christian vs. Tazz

Christian chokes Tazz with Tazz’s towel and punches in the corner. Tazz hooks two suplexes but the Tazmission is countered into the Unprettier for the quick pin. There was a low blow in there somewhere. Total squash. Tazz would get a quick tag title run in January and then retired in like April. He hooks a Tazmission after the match but no one cares.

Gregory Helms talks to Ric Flair about Tazz but Lance Storm pops up to beg for a job. Flair freaks out on him like only Ric Flair can do. If Storm wins tonight Flair will ruin Storm’s life. His match is against the Rock. Flair was a boss at this point.

Vote for the match of the year that will air on New Year’s Eve!

RVD is getting ready and Vince tries to suck up to him and get RVD to work for him if he wins the title. RVD isn’t pleased with the idea but never stops smiling. Vince wants Jericho to win now. He’ll be doing commentary.

Booker plays Bingo. He doesn’t win so he starts a small ruckus. Then he switches cards with some old woman in an attempt to cheat. Now Austin is calling the numbers and Booker runs. Booker’s card would have won.

After a break Booker is still in the church and this is like something out of a WWE Pictures movie. He hides in a pew then behind the pulpit. You know, if he wouldn’t pop his head out every 8 seconds, the hiding spaces might work. Now he pretends to be a statue. None of this is funny in case you’re wondering. Booker hides in a closet and oh man I think I know where this is going.

The Rock vs. Lance Storm

If Storm wins, he gets his job back. They fight over a hammerlock and then Rock kills him with a clothesline. Out to the floor and Rock jumps in on commentary. He says Lance is trying to get his job back but reads a paper which is a list of possible jobs. The best one though is to go back to getting beaten all over Cajun Country. See how that works? He did something out of the norm which happened to be funny and it worked.

Back in, Storm accidentally kicks the referee. Sharpshooter by Rock gets a tap but here’s Test to break it up. A big boot gets two for Storm. Rock hits the spinebuster but goes after Test and gets counted out. Well they had to do something with Storm and it’s not like they were going to have him pin Rock.

Rating: D. This was nothing and is there really any point in it being Rock in the first place? I mean, there was NO ONE but Rock that could do this? I mean….HE’S THE ROCK. They couldn’t have it be like a handicap against the APA or something stupid like that? Kane maybe? I don’t get it.

Rock gets in Rock Bottom position post match but doesn’t attack. Instead he shakes his hand, and THEN Rock Bottoms him. Kind of a jerk no? Rock was the one that lost his focus and got beat.

Back at the church and a woman walks into the same closet. And yes it’s a confessional. The girl admits she’s cheated on her husband with her husband’s brother and his best friend. Booker wants details and apparently there was alcohol and a video camera involved. She’s instructed to do 18 Hail Marys and send him the tape. This is going to end badly isn’t it?

Here’s Jericho to talk. He talks about beating Rock and Austin in one night. To be fair, that was less than three weeks before this so it was brand new. There’s no reason for RVD to get a title shot tonight says he. RVD cheated to beat him on Thursday and he has footage to prove it. Van Dam used a chair so he shouldn’t get a title shot. He demands Flair reverse the decision from Thursday and cancel the match tonight.

Cue Flair who says no. Jericho brought the chair into the ring and RVD used it. All Flair saw was Van Dam get the pin so he’s #1 contender. Jericho gets in Flair’s face and says Flair wishes he was someone else for once. Flair doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring with him, WOO! He accuses Flair of having a midlife crisis. Flair: “I HAD THAT TEN YEARS AGO!” Somehow this turns into Flair refereeing the main event tonight. See, something like this is perfect for Flair: being the boss, talking about how great things can be, and maybe refereeing a match or something like that. He’d be perfect for something like that today.

Edge/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Test

Edge and Angle are on the verge of a mega feud and Edge is on the verge of a mega push. He’s IC Champion here. This was supposed to be Regal instead of Test but Edge hurt him. Angle had a really bad rock remix of his song here. It sounds like a half breed between his music and the late 90s Big Bossman song. Angle vs. Rikishi starts us off. Kurt avoids a quick Stinkface and spins Rikishi inside out with a clothesline. Edge comes in with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. Spear to Test but the Angle Slam pins Edge. This was nothing.

Rikishi starts to clean house but gets beaten down. Rock makes the save and Test gets a Stinkface.

HHH returns January 7. The song playing over his video: Beautiful Day by U2. That’s an…odd choice.

Test is in the back and Cole annoys him so Canada gets its revenge on Cole. By that I mean a really awkward shove.

Big Show/Tajiri vs. Billy/Chuck

Torrie is with Tajiri here and is Cruiserweight Champion. Billy and Chuck aren’t gay yet. Chuck pounds on Tajiri to start but Tajiri gets a BIG kick in the corner for two. Jerry: “Did you tell Torrie I had a mirror over my bed?” JR: “HOW WOULD I KNOW YOU HAVE A MIRROR OVER YOUR BED???” Well I thought it was funny. LAUGH MONKEYS! Billy beats on Tajiri a bit and the heels double team. Tajiri hits a big kick and it’s off to Show. Tarantula to Billy but Show kind of gets kicked by Chuck. The handspring elbow hits Torrie and Billy hits a flapjack for the pin. This was again, nothing.

A guy confesses to Booker that he ate too much dessert. Booker isn’t pleased and throws him out. Here’s Austin to confess and Booker runs some more.

After a break, Booker and Austin run in front of some nuns. They need a ride to an orphanage and Booker uses the chance to escape. Austin runs into a priest who wants to hear Austin’s confession. Ok then. And yes, that’s it.

Flair offers to teach Van Dam the Figure Four.

WWF World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Vince does Jericho’s intro. Van Dam isn’t One of a Kind yet. Jericho grabs the arm to start. Van Dam sends him to the floor and hits a dive as America takes over on Canada. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two. Jericho hooks a chinlock as Vince is in full heel mode here. Lionsault misses but a quick clothesline gets two for the champion. Van Dam gets a rolling sunset flip out of the corner for what might have been a faster two.

Vince praises Jericho the whole match and talks about how awesome he is. This has been almost all Jericho, and to be fair he’s world champion so it probably should be. A spin kick takes Chris down and a flip attack off the top gets two. A standing rana is countered into the Walls which of course isn’t the finish. Flair and Jericho get in a fight and Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Vince pulls Flair out and a it’s thrown out I guess.

Rating: C. Just an ok match here because the focus was on Flair and Vince. The ending was stupid but this was a pretty stupid Raw overall. The ending had the fans buying something might be up but it was pretty clear what Vince was going to do. Not much here but I’ve seen far worse.

The good guys put the bad guys in Figure Fours to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that pleased with this one. Van Dam’s push went nowhere other than right back into the midcard while Vince vs. Flair resulted in the return of the NWO for no apparent reason. Not much here and the Booker vs. Austin stuff wasn’t funny, which I’m sure they didn’t care about so what difference does it make? Not a very good show.

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Spring Stampede 1999
Date: April 11, 1999
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Attendance: 17,690
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is the final part of the WCW stretch thank goodness. These past two shows have just killed me as they’ve been completely awful. This show HAS to be better than those. I mean the law of averages has to catch up with WCW eventually right? The main event tonight is a fatal fourway for the title with Hogan vs. Nash for Flair’s title. Oh and Goldberg vs. Nash. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a clip reel of the four guys in the main event.

The set is an old style one almost like Nitro but with a Spring Stampede logo and set to it. I like it.

Blitzkrieg vs. Juventud Guerrera

I’ve heard a ton of great things about Blitzkrieg but I don’t remember him that well. Apparently he’s one of the more insane high fliers ever. I’ve heard his music before somewhere but I can’t place it. The winner faces the Cruiserweight Champion tomorrow night. They shake hands pre match and the crowd is hot. They go to the mat quickly and Juvy might have pulled his mask a bit. Well if you wear one it might get pulled you lunkhead.

They speed things up and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg pounds away in the corner but Juvy comes back with a springboard dropkick to take over. Blitzkrieg goes outside so Juvy hits a great dive to the floor. Brainbuster gets two. Here’s a surfboard which always amazes me. Blitzkrieg speeds things up and hits a spin kick. A dropkick puts Juvy outside and Blitzkrieg sets for a dive but Juvy sees it coming and dropkicks him out of the air.

Back in and Juvy is sent out again. HUGE spinning moonsault by Blitzkrieg kills him and they go back in. Things speed up and they bust out some slick counters. A move we would call Yang Time misses for Blitzkrieg and the Juvy Driver is countered as well. Blitzkrieg tries what I guess you would call a spinning hurricanrana into a victory roll driver out of the corner for two. They go up again and Juvy counters the same move into a Juvy Driver off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: B. Again, the old school WCW formula works: a big fast paced match to open the show with two guys just going insane out there. Blitzkrieg would only be around a few months and never really had a big match with Mysterio that I remember, which is a shame because it would have been awesome. Good stuff and better than most of the usual stuff from this division.

After a quick recap of Hak vs. Bigelow, here’s your generic hardcore match for the night.

Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Hak comes out carrying a table and wrapped in barbed wire. He is, not the table. The brawl begins on the floor and they go to the wagon. Hak has hidden a table under there. Well of course he has. He hits a HUGE swanton off the wagon through the table. Chastity, Hak’s chick, gets the gimmicks (Tony’s term for weapons) out and Bigelow shrugs the dive off.

Back to ringside and they hit each other with various metal objects. Tony flat out says that trashcans don’t hurt that badly. What’s with him tonight? Bigelow whacks Hak with said painless can then a kendo stick shot. There’s a plastic salad bowl to the head. They botch what I think was a suplex and Bigelow falls on Hak’s knees. Out to the floor and here comes a ladder.

Hak dropkicks it into Bigelow and then hits another Swanton onto the ladder onto Bigelow. Now he busts out a piece of a barricade and the table falls to the floor. The ladder is up in the ring and the table is like a bridge between the ring and barricade. Hak climbs up for no apparent reason and goes crashing down through it. Back in the ring there’s a barricade in one corner and a ladder in the other.

Hak gets crotched on the barricade which Bigelow picks up. He stands there with it forever because Chastity is late with the extinguisher. The distraction lets the White Russian Leg Sweep put Bam Bam down. And then he hits what’s supposed to be the Greetings From Asbury Park (single shoulder sitout Tombstone) off the middle rope through the table but it was more like a powerslam. Either way it ends things.

Rating: D+. Not bad but this was just another hardcore match in WCW. Neither guy was worth anything other than this but it filled in a little over ten minutes. The ending bump was pretty solid but the match was nothing memorable at all, which is the major problem with this division as a whole. In WWF, they were bad but they were funny. These just aren’t that good.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs is a narcissist style character here. I have no idea why this match is happening but that’s WCW for you. Riggs dances around like Rick Rude and tries to show Mikey up. There’s been practically no contact in the first minute. Mikey slaps him in the face and it’s the Cody Rhodes idea where he’s freaked because his face was touched. Riggs is knocked to the floor and this is nothing to see.

Mikey puts his throat over the bottom rope and hits a slingshot legdrop. A rana off the apron drives the top of Riggs’ head into the floor. Get this over with already. Another attempt at the legdrop misses and Mikey goes into the railing. Dropkick takes him down and I put on a Jimmy Stewart movie from the 30s. A quick chinlock gets a big BORING chant. Mikey hits a middle rope dropkick for two. And then Riggs hits a forearm for the pin.

Rating: F. If Scotty Riggs getting a featured match on PPV in 1999 wasn’t enough, the match was terribly boring. The problem here was that no one had any reason to care about these guys and Riggs was in a nothing gimmick that we had seen a million times before. I mean how many times have you seen a character that is obsessed with his looks and talks about how pretty he is?

We recap Disco Inferno vs. Konnan. Konnan had a music video which Disco made a parody of. There’s your match.

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

Oh and Disco is in the Wolfpack here….kind of. Konnan makes what I presume are gay jokes about Disco’s looks to start. Disco imitates Konnan and hits his rolling lariat. He goes up but Konnan shakes his crotch at him so Disco hops down. Ok then. Konnan takes over and hits his seated dropkick. Konnan has a big bandage on his head which I missed before. They’re both in camo pants. K-Dawg climbs the corner with a running armdrag. Not bad.

Off to the chinlock section of the match. Can we vote to get that removed? It happens in almost every match and it’s really dull. Disco hits a middle rope elbow for two. Konnan gets sent to the floor and this has been almost all Disco. I think he finally realizes he’s fighting Disco Inferno and comes back with the 187 (fisherman’s DDT) for two. Disco gets the same off a neckbreaker. After a bunch of clotheslines miss, Konnan hits Disco’s own finisher the Last Dance (Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: C-. Oddly enough this was better because of Disco. Had he had a workable gimmick and maybe a name change, he could have been a decent midcard guy. The problem is he’s most famous for the idiotic character and he never could escape it. Still though, he wasn’t half bad here.

We recap Kidman vs. Mysterio for the Cruiserweight Title. Rey took the title from Kidman, and they’re also tag team champions. This is the rematch.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Winner gets Juvy tomorrow night. They do some nice flips to start without much damage being done. Rey gets a headscissors and has a small advantage. Kidman hits one of his own and the first two minutes or so are a stalemate. Rey gets backdropped to the floor and there’s a dive which gets very little reaction. Kidman takes over and Rey goes into the barricade. That’s a surprising amount of violence from two face champions that are smaller guys.

Now Rey sends him back to the floor. Kidman shows off some impressive strength and catches the Asai Moonsault attempt. Rey goes into the steps and both guys are getting mad. Lionsault gets two for the champ. Another rana attempt is countered into a running powerbomb. The crowd is pretty silent for this and to their credit it’s a pretty slow match so far. BK Bomb gets two. They go to the floor and Kidman hits a Shooting Star off the apron.

Back in the World’s Strongest Slam puts Rey down but Kidman jumps into a dropkick. The fans sound like they’re at a golf tournament that doesn’t have Tiger Woods in it. They both go to the top and Rey hits a top rope bulldog for two. I really don’t understand this crowd. The match isn’t a classic or anything but they’re hitting some BIG spots in this. Kidman hits the chinlock and the fans don’t react at all.

After a quick trip to the floor, Rey takes over again. He dives into a clothesline though which is a nice little nod to earlier in the match. The crowd again does not care. Heenan talks about Rey’s fatigue pants and how there are a bunch of pockets in them. “Wouldn’t it be fun to load those up with illegal objects?” Tony and Mike of course use that to talk about Hak and Bigelow, because they don’t get the idea of a heel commentator. Bobby might as well be running with an anchor.

Rey gets a facejam for two. He looks like he’s about to cry. Mysterio gets taken down into position for a Shooting Star but he’s playing possum. Kidman counters his whatever into a sunset bomb off the top for two. AND THE CROWD STILL DOESN’T CARE. Rey counters a wheelbarrow suplex off the top into a sitout bulldog for two. That’s what he won the title with in the first place. A top rope Fameasser and standing moonsault get two for Rey. Kidman blocks a powerbomb and tries another shooting star but Rey breaks it up again. There’s a top rope rana into a rollup for the pin for Rey.

Rating: B-. I really want to understand the issues with the crowd here. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was really a pretty good match. The near falls until the end were really hot and the crowd just sat there. I don’t know if they were burned out by a weak stretch of matches or what but I was really confused by it.

We recap Raven/Saturn vs. Malenko/Benoit. The Horsemen were tag champs and were fighting Raven 2-1 for some reason. Saturn came in to help and got a submission but it didn’t count for some reason. Raven and Saturn cost the Horsemen the titles so this is a grudge match. See how easy it can be to set up a non-title feud?

Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

Anderson is with the Horsemen here. Raven and Saturn bring out a table. Oh and if you don’t believe WCW went on talent raids in ECW, I present you with this match. Saturn is in a leather skirt because of some big thing with Jericho. The fans are all over the Horsemen already. Dean stalls to start and MAN the fans are on him. Oh ok he’s stalling on the apron so much because Benoit is starting.

The Canadian sends him to the floor and Saturn sends the Horsemen into each other. Off to Raven as Benoit gets beaten down. Benoit dropkicks Raven to the floor so Anderson/Malenko can double team him. Something like a double spinebuster puts Raven down and they work on his legs/hamstrings. The crowd pops more for a Raven kickout than anything in the previous match.

Lil Naitch is refereeing so he just happens to miss Raven’s small package on Benoit. Clothesline gets two for Benoit and Robinson seems to be counting faster than usual. He stops Saturn from coming in and gets great heat. Saturn comes in and cleans house but Malenko takes him down with a right hand. A modified Doomsday Device by the non-Horsemen gets two as Benoit grabs Rolling Germans on Raven.

Malenko hooks the Cloverleaf on Saturn but he makes the rope. Great drama so far in this. Death Valley Driver hits Malenko but Benoit comes in PERFECTLY to break it up with a Swan Dive which also gets two for Malenko. Things settle down again and Benoit works on Saturn’s leg. Malenko comes in with a sleeper and body scissors. Raven breaks it up and things break down a little again.

After a northern lights suplex we go to the floor where Dean kicks Saturn in the ribs a few times. Back inside and he comes in legally for a change. Chinlock goes on now but I can live with this one as they’re probably getting tired. Raven finally comes in and is on fire. He had a tendency to not be in the ring that often but when he was he was incredibly energetic.

Someone throws in a chair and Raven hits the drop toehold onto it with Benoit’s head going in. Anderson pulls Dean off a table on the floor so Saturn goes through instead. Even Flow takes Dean down but Anderson interferes, allowing the chair to be put on Raven’s head so Benoit can hit a Swan Dive to the chair to Raven’s head and Malenko gets the pin. Great match.

Rating: B+. That’s probably high but I was really getting into this one. The ending is good too as the Horsemen cheat to win and the heat on them was great. Excellent match as they gave four very talented guys time and a story and you got a very good match out of it. If WCW could get that that was the idea of exciting wrestling, they might still be in business today.

We recap the US Title match. Hall had been US Champion but got legit hurt so we had to have a new champion. A tournament started and after some Jericho shenanigans, he didn’t make the finals. Instead it’ll be Booker, the TV Champion, against Scott Steiner. Stevie Ray might be in his brother’s corner here but it’s not entirely clear.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Scott gets in an argument with a fan as the fan’s girlfriend keeps rubbing his chest. Funnier than it sounds. This goes on for a good while as Steiner keeps yelling at fans. Steiner finally gets in the ring and then goes to the ropes to avoid fighting. Back to the floor and now Steiner jumps into the crowd. Steiner finally comes in and taker Booker down with ease.

Booker speeds things up and hits AJ Styles’ drop down into a dropkick to send Scott to the floor. Steiner pounds him down some more and this is looking like it’s not going to be particularly interesting. A clothesline off the apron puts Scott down again as this has been back and forth. Steiner tastes the steel but manages to crotch Booker out of the corner. Out to the floor for some chair shots and we head back inside.

Now we get the push-ups. He shoves the referee and this is going nowhere. There’s a Steroids chant. Belly to belly gets two. Now Steiner just openly chokes the referee and kicks Booker low which isn’t a DQ due to the referee being scared. Steiner has to stop to pose because we need a break or something. Off to a bearhug which is probably the last thing this match needs.

Booker starts to escape but gets caught in a belly to belly drop on the head. It was supposed to be a suplex but it just wasn’t. A DDT puts Scott down and HE ACTUALLY SELLS IT!!! Take a lesson Rick. Booker comes back with some strikes and he goes up top. And there goes the referee. The fans immediately look at the entrance ramp, which shows how jaded they are.

Booker makes his real comeback and hits the axe kick but there’s no referee. Down goes the referee for a second time and Booker gets crotched. Steiner busts out the “Frankensteiner” for two. He pulls out a foreign object and clocks Booker with it for the title. The fans are NOT pleased with that ending.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse but the middle part of this was just dreadful. Scott was at least selling here but it wasn’t anything great. This would be the beginning of the mega push that the Steiners got this summer for absolutely no apparent reason other than they were old which is how you get pushed in this company. Still though, not much although Booker would get a lot better push in about a year. Also in a little trivia for you: Scott would win the US Title in a tournament final the next year at Spring Stampede as well.

Recap of Nash vs. Goldberg, although they’re just clips with no actual talking to them.

Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg

Apparently this is the rematch from Starrcade or something. Liz and Luger are here with Nash. Nash says something on the mic but the mic doesn’t seem to work because I didn’t hear a thing. He drives Goldberg to the corner and pounds away knees in the corner. The fans are looking at something to the right of the ring and Nash continues to go as slowly as he can while still being considered alive.

The fans almost immediately chant for Sting as Nash gets a two count. He hits the side slam for another two as this has been completely one sided. The running hip attack to the back of Goldberg while he’s in the 619 position keeps the bald one down. Goldberg snaps off a shoulder block though and something like a hooking superkick to load up the spear. NASH JUMPS OVER GOLDBERG!!! The spear hits the referee so Luger pops Goldberg with the chair. Goldberg blocks the powerbomb with a handful of balls. Spear and Jackhammer end this.

Rating: D+. What in the world was the point of this? Goldberg hit like 5 moves and dominated so he’s back to the point where he used to be, minus the title that is. Still though, was there a point to having this be like seven minutes long? It wasn’t horrible, but I’m sitting here asking if that’s it. Also, was there a point to Luger and Liz being out there? I don’t see it if there was.

Video on the main event. Flair turned heel to win the title last month off Hogan and Page and Sting are there so there can be four guys in it. Savage is guest referee for no apparent reason.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting vs. Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

No Michael Buffer for the intros. No tags here and it’s one fall to a finish. This is one of the final matches under the People’s Champion era for Page. Flair is champion and comes out first for some reason. He and Sting pair off as Page fights Hogan. Those two never had a big PPV title match that I remember. Sting almost gets the Deathlock on Page inside a minute but DDP makes the rope.

Hogan and Flair fight up the ramp as Page tries a Diamond Cutter. Everyone back in now and it’s getting hard to call all of this. Sting slams Flair off the top which makes things feel right. Hogan takes the weight belt off and whips at the champ as STING ACTUALLY HITS THE STINGER SPLASH AGAINST THE RAILING!!! I’ve been watching him over twenty years and I’ve never seen him hit that.

The weight belt goes back on as it’s just Hogan vs. Flair in the ring at the moment. Hulk no sells the chops and hits the boot and leg. Sting hooked the Scorpion just before that and has to let it go to break up the pin. Flair gets in a shot at Hogan’s knee, because that’s gone so well before right? The Figure Four goes on and Sting misses his second attempt at a splash.

Hogan turns the hold over and Page has to break it up. Page knocks Flair to the floor and we get the Figure Four around the post on Hogan. The trainer runs out to check on Hogan and he has to leave. Even Bischoff comes out to check on him. So it’s a triple threat now and they’re all in the ring. Sting beats up Flair while Page just chills. Flair, after eleven years, still doesn’t get that chops don’t work on Sting. Flair Flip in the corner and he gets clotheslined to the floor.

Page works on Sting’s ribs but Flair is back in now. Discus lariat gets two. Savage is counting slow and hasn’t meant a thing yet. Stinger Splash hits Page and he slams DDP’s face into the mat. Page tombstones Sting for two as Flair breaks it up. Sting superplexes Flair for two. Page puts a sleeper on Flair who has a sleeper on Sting. Sting hits a jawbreaker on both and they’re all up at 9.

Sting gets double teamed and THAT STILL DOESN’T WORK ON HIM. He hits a double clothesline and beats them both down. Splashes for both guys but Page breaks up the Deathlock on Flair. Death Drop takes Page down but Sting can’t cover. Flair puts the Figure Four on Sting and Sting makes the ropes. Flair won’t break it so Savage drags them to the middle of the ring and drops the elbow (Sky Elbow according to Tony) to break it up. A Diamond Cutter to Flair gives Page his first world title.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match ever but I really don’t get what Savage was needed in there for other than a single move. A lot of this dragged really badly but they at least did something. It may not have been interesting but they were doing something. Page turned heel soon after this and it bombed HORRIBLY because people had gotten behind him for being the scrappy underdog that kept pushing until he reached the top. As in like Hardy whose heel turn also bombed. Funny how that works isn’t it?

Overall Rating: C+. WOW this was so much better than the previous two shows. I mean man this was a breath of fresh air and a lot of that is because they had some relatively clean endings. You couple that with longer matches and only one match that had no business being on PPV (arguably) and you get a decent show. It’s nothing great but it’s certainly better than the two that follow this one.

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Simple question: what kind of content do you want on here?  I’m not at all saying I’ll change the style I’ve been using, but what would you like to see as far as content?The style of the reviews isn’t going to change and I’m going to be doing the regular TV shows no matter what.  Aside from that, what would you like to see?

And I mean PPV, not Raw/Impact etc.It’s hard to go against Money in the Bank.  I mean, you had two great matches and one classic with a great moment to end it.  Just an all around great show and nothing all year comes close to it.

Your picks/thoughts?

Slamboree 1999
Date: May 9, 1999
Location: TWA Dome, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 20,516
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Another WCW PPV for you here. This one looks a little less boring than the Bash, but that’s not really saying much. The main event here is Page, the world champion, defending against Nash. We also get the first bout in the EPIC Flair vs. Piper feud, and I’m sure you’re all dying to see that. Let’s get to it.

We open with your standard video talking about a big match tonight, which here is Goldberg vs. Sting. Also Flair vs. Piper plus a few others but it’s mainly those two.

Tony is in a leather jacket for some reason. The announcers run down the card.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Video on DDP.

Konnan vs. Stevie Ray

Horace and Vincent of the NWO Black and White are with Ray. The fans here in St. Louis are awesome as they’ll cheer for any face and boo any heel. Why is that so complex? Ray pounds him down in the corner but Konnan pounds him on the middle rope while making oral sex gestures. Vincent gets on the apron to break up a pin attempt. He cheats a bit more on the floor and the fans aren’t all that thrilled here.

Off to a chinlock as Ray thinks of something new he can do other than kicks and forearms. He chokes away which is at least new. Back to the chinlock for more time in the think tank. Suplex gets two and there’s the jump off the ropes into a boot spot. Konnan speeds things up and messes up a leapfrog. X Factor puts Ray down but Horace trips K-Dawg up. Here’s Rey to distract the goons and Konnan wins with a rollup (with a pretty fast count).

Rating: D-. Really dull match here but at least it was kind of logical: once Rey is there to counteract Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber, Konnan can get the pin on his own. Stevie is just so freaking boring without Booker there to help him out that there’s no need to have him out here, especially on a PPV. Boring match and not any good at all.

Video on Kevin Nash.

Video on Sting.

Page talks to Bigelow in the back but we can’t hear what’s being said.

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is for the moniker King of Hardcore, which isn’t an official title. This of course is a hardcore match if you didn’t get the idea there. There isn’t going to be much to talk about in this. It’s your standard hardcore match with both guys being hit in the head with generic pieces of metal. There’s an RVD sign in the crowd. Heenan tells the announcers to be quiet so he can hear the weapon shots.

Bigelow hits a top rope headbutt for two. Out to the floor and there’s still nothing to talk about. It’s pretty much the same as every hardcore match you’ll ever see. Knobbs’ trashcan shot is blocked by a waiter’s tray which winds up going on top of Brian’s head. Bigelow is in control here. The fans want a table. There are long stretches here where there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just random weapon shots and the announcers laughing.

They fight up the aisle with Knobbs using a trashcan to keep control. There’s the internet location getting its required cameo. They go old school here with the fake souvenir stand that no fan would be able to get to because it’s on the arena floor. We go behind a curtain (revealing about 1/5 of the arena being tarped off) and there’s a ladder shot. An elbow off the stands onto a table misses for Knobbs (I think, you can’t see anything) and Bigelow suplexes him through the table for the pin.

Rating: F. Heenan’s final line of “and they do this for a living” sums things up well. Why in the world did Knobbs of all people have a job here? The match sucked due to there being nothing interesting here at all. There was no comedy spot, there was nothing other than the most basic weapons available, and nothing interesting happened at all. Bad match and really boring. Also it ran almost 12 minutes. Inexcusable.

We recap Rick Steiner vs. Booker. Booker won a match against Steiner with help from Stevie, who is in the NWO (Booker never was). Ray saved him again but Rick came in to beat him up. Rick vs. Booker started up again so let’s have a TV Title match again.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T

Booker is champion here if I didn’t make that clear. Rick starts out with a belly to belly release and a couple of Steiner Lines. I think he’s the heel here but I’m not sure. More control by Steiner until Booker kicks him in the face to put him down. Steiner pops up of course because he isn’t going to sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Booker. I think he’s either heel here or borderline heel.

Steiner takes over on the floor and things slow way down. Time for a chinlock again. The crowd is very quiet. Steiner punches a lot and the fans don’t care. A bunch of punches gets two and here’s that chinlock again. Booker fights back and hits the axe kick, a spinebuster and the missile dropkick but STEINER WON’T SELL THEM. Here’s what happens after every move: Steiner lays there about 2-4 seconds then gets up like nothing happened. Scott finally runs out for the distraction and a Steiner Line gets two. Scott trips Booker and the Bulldog off the ropes gives Rick the title.

Rating: D. Just a horribly boring match here as Rick is beyond worthless in the ring at this point. Naturally the answer to that is to give him a title for four months. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING Booker did here and Booker looks like a joke as a result. Bad match but as usual, most of it is due to Rick being lazy and not selling anything.

Time to recap the stupid match of the show. Randy Savage is out of wrestling at this point so he’s putting one of his chicks (the hot one) in there against Lil Naitch in the form of referee Charles Robinson. Yes this match is happening.

Rick rambles to Buff in the back and wishes him luck against Scott later. Gee, that must be totally genuine right?

Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson

Ok to be fair, Robinson’s Flair costume is AWESOME. He has the robe, he has the hair, he looks exactly like a small Nature Boy. Even his face looks like him. Flair and Savage are seconds here. Asya and the other chicks are here too. To be fair, George was indeed hot. Flair, the President of WCW at the time, says he’d like to have Madusa ride Space Mountain. Miss Maddness can come too, but George is being saved for Robinson. Robinson rips George a bit and he sounds EXACTLY like Flair. This is the best imitation I’ve seen in years. Savage (POP) says George will win.

Robinson struts a lot as they stall for a few minutes. George goes after the arm and Robinson reverses. Off to a full nelson and snapmare as George is dominant. Flair and Robinson get rammed together so Savage has to come in and protect George. Robinson goes for a chair but Miss Madness steals it. She gets slammed outside and Savage FREAKS. I mean freaks by his standards.

Back in Robinson takes over with a choke and then does more of that. George comes back with a few chops and Robinson does the flip in the corner and runs the apron, only to get slammed off the top. Heenan says this is great and I can’t say I disagree. There’s a Flair Flop and they’re getting tired. The heels cheat a bit and work over George’s knee but Madusa makes the save.

Robinson works on the knee and if the match continues like it has, that means we’re heading for the Figure Four. He hooks the knee a bit and cranks on it for awhile. Here’s the Figure Four and while it looks good, it’s on the wrong knee. She reverses it and Flair comes in for the save. Savage chases him off and beats up Robinson so George can drop a half decent looking middle rope elbow for the pin. Savage is reinstated.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but at the end of the day we have a referee and a manager in there. Robinson’s Flair impression is absolutely excellent and one of the best I’ve ever seen. George really is gorgeous and it’s a shame she wasn’t around in wrestling more than she was. That being said, this was decent enough all things considered. Ten and a half minutes was too long, but it wasn’t boring and they were trying which is more important than anything else.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Bagwell was a face and made fun of him so Steiner said he had a big ego. Bagwell imitated him and it wasn’t really funny.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

Video on Goldberg. These videos are just their music playing over clips of them. They only last about 15-20 seconds each.

Now to really crank it up, here’s a video on all four people in the main events. There aren’t any words to this so the feuds still aren’t explained.

The third straight video (at least they’re short) is on Flair being president and being insane. He’s signing contracts without reading them and one of them is for a match with Piper for the Presidency. Flair thinks he’s President of the United States. I kid you not, this was the second biggest wrestling company in the world at this point. Oh and he went to a mental hospital and thought he was in a hotel. Again, this is what we mean when we say insulting to our intelligence.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Recap of Sting vs. Goldberg. This is for who the franchise is or something.

Sting vs. Goldberg

Tony is either trying to explain what we just saw or is questioning it himself. I’m really not sure. I’m also not sure why this match is happening but who cares? Sting has white boots with black toes. It makes as much sense as anything else here. Goldberg takes him down and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. Sting stalls on the floor and then takes Goldberg to the floor with a clothesline.

Goldberg hooks a cross armbreaker but it isn’t on correctly. Sting fights out of it and we go to a test of strength. He takes out Goldberg’s braced knee (oh sweet psychology, how I missed you) and puts on a Boston Crab which is quickly broken. Goldberg fights back with power moves and things slow WAY down. Top rope clothesline by Sting sets up some Stinger Splashes but Goldberg catches him in a spinebuster which is called a spear. And here’s Bret Hart with a chair and it’s a no contest.

Rating: D. Another bad match. I mean seriously, this show SUCKS. There’s been nothing but boring matches (aside from the opener) and stuff that is basically around to set up matches on Nitro rather than HERE ON THE FREAKING PPV. Nothing to see here as they basically kept it as slow gear as possible.

And then the Steiners run out and beat up Goldberg and Sting. WHY ARE THEY THE FOCAL POINT OF A SHOW IN 1999????

Another wordless video on Page vs. Nash. No word on why they’re fighting but there’s clearly no thinking anywhere else in this show so who cares?

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

And Buffer’s mic doesn’t work right. Seriously, fold already. You can hear him in the arena but not over the PPV feed. Page is champion. Early Cutter attempt is blocked and Page hits the floor. We actually get a reference to the Vegas Connection. Page hammers away but runs his mouth to get himself sent to the floor. Back inside and Nash hammers away. Page charges at Nash and finally kicks him low to take over.

Page rips a buckle off and hits him with the mic for two. He gets sent into the exposed steel though and both guys are down. Page takes over and sends him to the floor. A baseball slide puts Nash down and there’s a Diamond Cutter to kill Nash out there. It only gets two in the ring but at least there was a delay. Now Page goes for the knee for no apparent reason.

He wraps it around the post a few times and pounds on Nash again. There’s something going on in the crowd so they change the camera angle, which is pretty smart. Nash makes his comeback and hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle. Back to the regular angle. Nash….at least limp. Big boot and Jackknife….but here’s Savage to break it up for the LAME DQ. So is he a heel now too?

I would rate it here, but Eric comes out AGAIN and restarts the match. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ. Discus lariat gets the same. And here’s a sleeper, which looks awful because Nash is so tall. Now Nash hooks an even WORSE sleeper but Page jawbreaks his way out of it for two. A chair shot hits the rope and Page takes it in the face for two. Low blow gets two for Page. And then Nash kicks the chair into Page’s face, takes the straps down and wins the title via the Jackknife.

Rating: D. The fans popped for the ending, but I’m just spent at this point. There’s nothing interesting here and the run in and restart made no sense, which is what the name of the show should be. Nash would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Savage before Hogan took it the next night. This was nothing interesting at all and the knee selling coming and going hurt things.

Overall Rating: F-. This is usually were I’d make some witty statement about how this show was so bad it goes beyond bad ratings or something, but there’s nothing left in me after watching this mess. The illogical stories, the stupid booking, the overdoing it with the Steiners, the worthless world title change, and the bad matches just made me completely uninterested by the end of this show. I haven’t felt like that about a PPV in a very long time, but this just drained me completely.

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