Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Guest Host: Jonah Hill

We’re past Survivor Series and it’s officially the road to Mania. The next PPV is TLC and I think that’s 4 weeks away. Rock/Cena won, which means absolutely nothing but Rock did look awesome in the ring so I guess there’s that. Also we have the title on Punk which should at least be more entertaining. There’s a guest host here tonight I think. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up. It sounds like they’re saying Woo Woo Woo during the transtional parts.

Punk opens the arena part of the show and he gets a nice pop. Good to see that he can get those when he’s not with Cena. He talks about being in first grade and having his teacher asking him what they wanted to do. Various people said stuff like a police officer, fireman, etc. He of course wanted to be a professional wrestler, and here he is: the guy that won the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden last night.

He did this on his own terms and this is all he ever wanted to do. Now he wants to be the bringer of change. Punk sits down in the ring and talks about the ice cream bars. Now he wants to get rid of Johnny Ace, which draws out the skateboard man himself. Ace says nothing of note so let’s get back to Punk talking. Punk talks about how greedy Vince is while Ace is the stereotypical middle man, like the guy from Office Space.

Punk criticizes the term WWE Universe. They’re FANS. PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!!!! Next week it’s Del Rio vs. Punk for the title. Punk makes fun of him for that so it’s Ziggler vs. Punk tonight. Punk: “That’s not a good idea or innovative. That’s stupid.” The fans want to see Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. Ryder is busy tonight vs. Del Rio. Punk starts walking up the ramp towards Ace and some day he’s coming for Ace himself.

Last night after the PPV went off the air, the fans chanted for Ryder while Rock was in the ring. Think about that: the Rock is in the ring in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN and the fans want Zack Ryder. Rock said he was a fan. Sweet goodness man. PUSH THE GUY ALREADY!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder breaks up the intro by Ricardo. I don’t get the point of the booking here. Think about it: Del Rio is #1 contender and Ryder is over like free beer. Why do we need to have this match? One has to lose and Ryder needs to get a win here but Del Rio is already on a losing streak. Why not someone like Morrison here? Instead they’ve come up with the booking already and screw the fans and what they want. And they wonder why their numbers are falling through the floor. Ryder starts his comeback but is sent into the buckle and the armbreaks officially squashes him at 2:26. I hate this company at times. I do.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Jack tries amateur stuff but Sheamus easily powers him to the floor where Swagger is frustrated. From what I’ve been told, the Twitter thing flashed static and the words “It Begins” was in there instead. Interesting. Swagger takes over with the Vader Bomb and we go to the back for a double armbar. Sheamus starts his comeback but the shoulder off the top misses. Brogue Kick is countered into the ankle lock which is kicked off and the kick ends this at 4:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match but it was a nice win for old pasty. Swagger is the walking definition of jobber to the stars at this point and that’s a good role for him since they’re not going to give the guy a new gimmick and the All American thing is done as done can be, so having guys beat him like this is fine.

Nash is up next.

Nash comes out and talks about MSG and how important it is here. He talks about the Curtain Call (look it up) and how HHH should have come back and it should have been them in the main event. But instead the Cerebral Assassin is gone at the hands of Nash. He says he’s the survivor of the group.

Here’s Cody, who says he’s unbeatable and he’s unrepentent. This brings out….oh give me a break it brings out Santino.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

The Canaditalian avoids the Russian from the American but there’s the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 1:03.

Post match Cody goes after Booker, yelling about various stuff. I’ve heard this was the feud for the next few weeks so here we are. Booker gets water thrown thrown in his face and Cody walks out.

Ziggy is in the back and says he won two matches (he was eliminated but he was still on the winning team) and was the only one that did so. He’s the new face of WWE and will prove it to Punk next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk

They head to the mat to start and there isn’t much to say so far. Ziggler beats him down for a good while and this is getting a solid amount of time given how slow they’re going. Punk tries a sleeper but Dolph takes over again. Booker calls him the Zig Zag man to get on my nerves. Ziggler keeps the advantage as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggy still in control but Punk fights back. Into the GTS attempt but it’s countered into the sleeper. Again it’s the Zig Zag Man line from Booker to get on my nerves again. That doesn’t work since Punk is a face and here’s comeback #2. He sets for the Macho elbow but Ziggy grows a brain and MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE PUNK JUMPS. Why is that so complex?

Dolph kicks his freaking head off with a slick dropkick and they go up. Punk knocks him down and there’s the elbow. It only gets two because it’s a middle of the match move. There needs to be more pins off non-finishers. GTS is countered into another throwing kind of move for a close two. Zig Zag is countered into the GTS for the pin at 16:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but I didn’t get into it like I did with Cena and Ziggler or Orton and Ziggler. Punk gets a good win here but he’s right: this wasn’t interesting or innovative, but it’s all we’re getting tonight because this could be interesting and not involve Rock, and since we want Punk to not have much to work with, we’re stuck with this. Decent match though.

Here’s Show to talk about Henry. Henry is coming back, Show still wants to fight him, same old same Show.

The Divas do the same stuff but it’s about WWE 12 this time. Next.

Kane return promo. The mask is included for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Barrett says the next thing in his sights is the world title. Barrett beats him down for awhile but as he loads up Wasteland, here’s Orton for the distraction. Wade freaks and drops Kofi. He manages to bail before the Trouble in Paradise as we go to a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock as Randy is sitting at ringside. I like how they’re actually setting up Orton as a natural progression of a story instead of just rushing it.

Boss Man Slam (BIG one too) puts Kofi down down for two. Barrett pounds him down and hooks his bow and arrow hold. This is a pretty uninteresting match. Oh and I forgot to mention: Lawler has a bad voice due to last night so he can barely talk. Out to the floor and Kofi hits a huge dive to take over. Boom Drop hits but a corner splash misses. Kofi loads up the springboard cross body but Wade kicks the rope and Wasteland ends this clean at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Better match than I expected here and it’s awesome to see Barrett getting such a strong push. Also having Orton set up as Barrett’s next feud is a good thing and hopefully we see Barrett get the pin at the PPV, which is a feud win that he needs. Good stuff here but Kofi having a chance would have helped. Not their fault though.

Barrett announces himself as the winner to rub it in on Orton, who teases an attack but declines.

Here’s Cena for the ending segment. The people boo as you would expect. He talks about how a lot has changed in the last 24 hours (Ryder Twitter plug), including us having proof that he and Rock can team up. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles after they get a mention here. Also last night Rock proved that he’s still got it, which means Mania will be exactly what it should be.

This brings out Awesome Truth with Miz talking about how the fans didn’t want to see Cena last night. Truth says Cena is in his own world and Mania will be awful for him. Cena cuts them off and says we learned that Rock still has it and that no one cares about Awesome Truth at all. Cena tries to put some tension between Awesome Truth and neither of them are too happy with it.

Cena leaves and says they should be booing themselves. They get in each others’ faces and argue, resulting in a shove by Miz and a punch by Truth. Miz begs off and says let’s go get Cena, then jumps Truth as they head up the ramp. A Finale on the ramp (head didn’t hit) ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show for the most part. The wrestling wasn’t bad but other than the main stuff, the rest was just there. It felt far more like a commercial for WWE 12 but that’s just a one night thing I believe since it comes out tomorrow. It wasn’t a bad show, but I have no idea what’s coming next and I don’t really see myself caring, which is a bad thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland

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Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Here we are with Rock’s first match in seven years. He’s teaming with Cena to face Awesome Truth, who have looked like the most thrown on heels that I can think of in a very long time. We also have Punk vs. Del Rio and Show vs. Henry for the world titles. The elimination match (Team Orton vs. Team Barrett) has been built up very well indeed and I’m looking forward to it more than any other match. Let’s get to it.

Johnny Ace opens the show. No real point to this but he’s here anyway.

United States Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans want Ryder. I mean they REALLY want Ryder. Ziggler takes over to start but a charge in the corner misses to give Johnny NoChance the advantage. They do the always cool slingshot spot, channeling their inner Hennigs. Out to the floor where Morrison hits a huge dive. The fans still want Ryder. Why in the world they’re going with Morrison here I have no idea but they’re doing it and that’s their decision and when Ryder’s pop doesn’t mean as much, it’ll be his fault right?

Vickie time gives Ziggler control back and he cheats like a hashtag heel. Morrison tries to fight back but walks into a reverse suplex for two. Sleeper hold is countered but an O’Connor Roll gets two for Dolph. Flying Chuck gets two. Why is it called that anyway? Sleeper by Dolph is countered into a sleeper by Morrison which draws a LOUD boo from the crowd. Vickie breaks up a cover off a tornado DDT, drawing an ejection for her.

Fameasser gets two for the champ but Morrison starts his comeback. Ah John. If only you actually had a chance of winning this match at all. I mean, it’s pretty clear you’re going but they want to squeeze every drop out of you that they can, even though Ryder is clearly the people’s choice. Starship Pain eats knees and Zig Zag keeps Dolph’s title at 10:40.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener, but the constant Ryder chants (not the fans’ fault) took away from it. That and the fact that Morrison was as much of a lame duck as you could ask for. Nothing too bad here and it was fine for an opener, but there wasn’t enough here to make it a great match. Now get the belt on Ryder already.

Vickie comes out and says that Dolph is awesome. Dolph says he is awesome and no one would want to follow that. The fans want Ryder but Dolph says he isn’t here. Cue Ryder who hits a Rough Ryder to blow the roof off the place.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

This is a lumberjill match for no reason whatsoever. Eve jumps into a slam to start but takes over quickly, sending Beth to the floor. Back in a neckbreaker and the standing moonsault get two. We get into the normal set of circumstances with Beth locking in a hold as Eve is in trouble. Eve starts her comeback as this couldn’t be more of a beer break match if they put a freaking stamp on it.

Eve hooks this wicked looking choke which shifts into a triangle choke but it doesn’t work as it’s a new submission hold that looked good so it can’t be the winner early. They exchange rollups for two each and this is still going nowhere. Eve takes her down and sets for the moonsault but Beth goes up top and they fight on the top rope. Beth counters into the Glam Slam off the top for the pin at 4:42.

Rating: C. Better than average Divas match here with a pretty solid ending. That being said, I have zero reason to care about this story at all as it just keeps going with nothing really developing at all in it. The heels are still evil and proclaim dominance but they run from any staredown, which defeats the purpose of being dominant. In short, I don’t care at all.

Punk is warming up when Otunga comes up and says that Punk should apologize to Cole before he competes tonight, on the orders of Johnny Ace. Punk says he’ll think about it after he wins the title.

Rock has a mic and talks about being here when he was 5 years old and hanging out with Andre the Giant (which he repeats) while he watches his dad defend his WWCensored tag titles. He debuted here in November of 96 with the worst haircut ever and a stupid outfit but they chanted his name. That was the beginning of an odyssey and he went through the company, winning everything in sight. He talks about Awesome Truth a bit and this is going WAY too long at about five minutes now. Now Rock starts a song number, asking the fans to sing New York with him. WAY too long here but the fans were into it.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Mason Ryan, Sheamus

This is the match that I’ve wanted to see more than any other. Ziggler vs. Kofi starts us off after an eternity of entrances. Cara is in white and Rhodes has knee pads. Off to Orton and the RKO ends Ziggler in about 4 seconds. Team Barrett huddles up but Orton jumps them and picks Barrett to beat up. Everything breaks down and Team Orton stands tall. Kofi and Cara try stereo dives but Cara hooks his leg on the ropes and is holding his knee. Great. The fans, again, want Ryder. Cara is eliminated and we’re down to 4-4. I’m not so sure how planned that was, but it looked like he grabbed the rope so maybe it was planned.

Rhodes vs. Orton now and make that Ryan vs. Hunico. I don’t expect these two to be in there that long. Hey I’m right as it’s off to Kofi very quickly. Kofi runs into a slingshot move and goes crotch first into the buckle for two. Wade in now and it’s time for a chinlock. Back to Ryan vs. Hunico and Wales beats up Mexico a bit. Hunico makes a blind tag to Cody who hits the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the pin and a pop plus a chant.

Off to Sheamus vs. Rhodes and Sheamus powers him into the ropes for the pounding forearms which gets counted along with. Get the fans involved in a match, even with something like that, and they’ll love you forever. The referee breaks things up and Cody is able to bring in Barrett who takes over. Off to Hunico and we hear that Sin Cara is trending worldwide. This has been talked about all night by the way but I didn’t feel like bringing it up as it makes my head hurt.

Hot tag brings in Kofi who beats up the Brit because that’s what people do. Boom Drop hits as Cole says he’s emulating Shawn Michaels. Booker: “I never saw Shawn do a Boom Drop.” Barret avoids the kick but walks into a Pendulum Kick, as does Swagger. Wade drops him dead with a big boot though and Wasteland makes it 4-2. Orton comes in but is sent to the floor quickly. Hunico hits a suicide dive and takes over. Could he be more RKO fodder if he tried?

Off to Swags who hasn’t done much in this so far. Rhodes comes in to work on the arm and gets a near fall. Orton manages to throw Rhodes off and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and one to Swagger as well. The paler one goes up and hits the top rope shoulder. Hunico is sent outside and there’s an Irish Curse for Jack. Barrett breaks the Cross up but is knocked to the floor. Sheamus goes after Swagger and it’s a LAME DQ to make it 4-1. Did I mention they made it a big deal that Orton is a 4 time sole survivor?

Sheamus kicks Swagger in the head before leaving and Orton gets the easy pin to make it 3-1. It’s Hunico, Cody and Barrett left if you’ve lost count. Rhodes comes in to pound him down but Orton fires back with the clotheslines and powerslam. Elevated DDT hits and he loads up the RKO. Barrett distracts as Hunico makes a blind tag. Springboard, RKO, 2-1. Barrett comes in and gets taken down but there’s an RKO to Rhodes. Randy gets too distracted though and Wasteland ends this at 22:18 with Barrett and Rhodes being the sole survivors. Cara has a ruptured patella tendon.

Rating: B-. This was fun but the botch brought things to a complete halt which hurt it a lot. The right guys survived too as they’ve been very hot on Smackdown lately. Randy laying down clean is the right thing to do and he did that here. I have no issues with him pinning Swagger and Hunico, but it’s good that they kept the top heels strong. Fun match, but it wasn’t as good as it was hyped up.

The Bellas hit on Del Rio when Ace comes in. There’s a LOUD Cody chant for this as Ace talks about Del Rio needing to take this seriously. Del Rio says this is the first defense of many in MSG for him.

Don’t be a bully.

We get a long video on Show vs. Henry and the ring breaking last month.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

The ring has been reinforced. Show shoves him around to start as I think the fans want Bryan. Show busts out a waistlock and armdrag of all things. Henry goes after the knee which is smart strategy since he can take it down with his power game. If Cara is out like he thinks he’ll be, it’s six months recovery. He lays on the knee of Show to waste some time. If they keep this a simple power vs. power match, it should be ok. The fans think this is boring and I can’t say I disagree.

The fans chant for Bryan now and Cole says he’s not here tonight due to the attack Friday. Show fights back with a DDT and calls for the chokeslam but Henry picks him up with the Slam for two. Splash gets two as well. An elbow drop gets two. Fire Henry chant starts up as does an Undertaker chant. Out to the floor and Henry rams him through the barricade and please don’t let it be a lame double countout.

Thankfully they’re both back in and Henry is ticked off. Henry headbutts him on the apron and they load up the superplex. Show breaks it up and hits a superkick of all things to put Henry down. That draws the required HBK chant. And with that, Show goes up to the top rope. He looks SCARED. After about a minute, LUCHA SHOW HITS AN ELBOW OFF THE TOP!!! It only gets two and even the MSG fans are into this now. That draws a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the punch but Henry ducks and kicks him low for the ULTRA LAME DQ at 13:22.

Rating: B-. Man, this was some insane stuff. The elbow was NUTS and the crowd chanting was better than anything you’ll ever hear in TNA. The ending CRIPPLED this though as it was a fun battle of the big men until then, but that ending just sucked. Let it end by a double countout after the elbow or something, but not like that. It was horrible looking all around.

Post match Henry loads up the Pillmanization but Show moves at the last minute. Now Show sets to Pillmanize Henry’s ankle and drops a leg on it for the injury. Uh, Bryan anyone? No? Well of course not. That would pop the crowd huge and we don’t want that. Legit we don’t want that. It’s the Rock’s show.

Barrett says nothing of note when Awesome Truth interupts him. Barrett makes a Charlie Sheen reference. Oh good grief. Truth and Miz talk about Rock/Cena and Truth talks about seeing pigeons looking at a picture of Rock/Cena. “You know what they said to me? Nothing! They’re pigeons! They can’t talk!” Awesome.

The New York National Guard is here and get recognized. Think that draws a USA chant?

We recap Alberto vs. Punk, which King thinks started at Survivor Series. Del Rio cashed in then won it again at HIAC, so this is Punk’s rematch.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk has his own ring announcer: The Fink. Punk goes old school ROH with the hoodie. The fans want ice cream. CM grabs a headlock to call some spots and gets two off a shoulder black. Both guys work on the arm with Punk in control at the moment. Del Rio heads to the floor as we hear even more about Twitter. Del Rio heads to the floor twice so Punk hits a suicide dive to take care of him.

Del Rio takes over and Ricardo gets in a shot as well. Punk chases after him but runs into an Alberto kick. Del Rio works the arm which is psychology baby! GTS is countered so Del Rio hits a single arm DDT for two. More arm work and Alberto goes up for another shot to the arm, getting two. He misses a charge and lands on the floor with a thud. Punk takes him down again (while shaking the arm) and they slug it out.

Punk takes over with a springboard clothesline for two. He calls for the GTS and Ricardo has a towel for some reason. The GTS is countered and Del Rio gets a Backstabber for two. The knee in the corner misses and the Del Rio enziguri gets two. A Codebreaker to the arm gets two. They go up and Punk gets crotched so that Del Rio can kick the arm again. He misses a charge though and Del Rio’s arm hits the post. The Macho Elbow hits for two.

GTS and armbreaker are countered but the second armbreaker works to put Punk in real trouble. Punk finally gets his feet on the ropes for the break and sets for the GTS, but he only has one arm. Ricardo interferes but gets kicked down. A big kick sets up the Vice and Punk is champion at 17:03.

Rating: C+. The psychology was pretty solid but Del Rio is such a boring character that I didn’t care in the slightest. Punk winning is a good thing as he was the hottest thing going on Raw for a very long time. Not a classic or anything but it puts the title on the right guy, which is what we needed badly on Raw for the past few weeks.

Fink does the NEW WWE Champion thing post match which brings a legit smile to my face.

We recap Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth which starts as a big love letter to Rock. The main event was set for Mania a year ago (essay coming soon) but Awesome Truth wasn’t happy. This is far more about Rock and Cena, as it should be.

John Cena/The Rock vs. Awesome Truth

Gee, who do you think is going to get the most boos? Rock looks great, more muscular that I ever remember seeing him. He starts with Miz as the bell ringer messes up a bit. Cena gives his shirt and a kiss on the cheek to Arnold Skaaland’s widow. Rock cleans house with arm drags and La Majistral for two on Miz. Truth wants him so Rock goes Owen with the wristlock counter.

Rock cleans house again and busts out a fisherman’s suplex to Truth but Cena is fighting Miz so there’s no count. Miz comes in and wants Cena. The fans think Cena can’t wrestle, so they stand around forever. Cena fires off a monkey flip and a dropkick but fans: “You still suck! You still suck! You still suck!” Cena loads up You Can’t See Me but goes to look at Rock instead. Rock sees Truth coming to jump Cena and does nothing at all.

So it’s Cena as Ricky Morton here as he gets beaten down, going into the post. Both heels take turns on him and we head to the floor. Fan: “Tell those pigeons who’s boss Truth!” Miz hits the low DDT for two. There’s the corner clothesline and the fans are either saying he’s awesome or awful. Truth pops Cena and Miz gets two off of it. Booker talks about Rock being selfish and we hear about the summer of 2001 when Rock beat Booker time after time.

Awesome Truth beats down Cena even more as Truth hits a dancing legdrop for two. Hulk Hogan he’s not. He goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an FU attempt. Truth rolls through that and gets two. Cena gets in the shot that he needs and hits an AA out of nowhere on Truth. Miz comes in and takes Rock out though so the heels keep the advantage.

Another dancing legdrop misses and it’s hot tag Rock. He cleans house, hitting the Rock Bottom on Truth and the Sharpshooter is put on Miz. Truth comes in with the Little Jimmy to break it up so Cena spears him down. Great, another guy with the spear. Miz takes over but of course runs his mouth and gets caught by the spinebuster and People’s Elbow for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B Fine main event tag match here and Rock looked great. That’s the biggest thing here as there was no doubt who was winning here. Now at Mania….I’m not so sure, but that’s another review for another time. Good stuff here and it was exactly what was advertised, which is the right idea here. Not that it means anything, but Rock has been in the ring which is the right thing.

Cena goes to leave but Rock calls him back.  They have a pose off and Rock of course is cheered longer and louder.  Cena goes to leave but Rock grabs him in a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s hard to say this show wasn’t good, but it could have been a lot more. They were intentionally keeping the crowd at a lower key until the very end to pop big for Rock, which is ok, but it makes the rest of the show pretty uninteresting. Some bad finishes really hurt things, but Punk winning the title is great and Rock looked awesome so it’s hard to complain. Good show, but it could have been more.

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison – Zig Zag
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam from the top rope
Team Barrett b. Team Orton last eliminating Randy Orton
Big Show b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry kicked Big Show low
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – Anaconda Vice
The Rock/John Cena b. Awesome Truth – People’s Elbow to Miz

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 21, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We have arrived. This is the show with probably the most famous and best TV tag match in company history if not wrestling history. It’s Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho in a tag title match. The rest of the show doesn’t matter but last night was Judgment Day and HHH lost the IC Title while Austin is still world champion. Let’s get to it.

Austin is here immediately to open the show. He says he’s still the champion no matter how much the people hate him. Austin represents all of them and even though he’s a fighting champion, Undertaker doesn’t get a rematch. There’s no one in the WWF that can beat him, and here’s Jericho. He asks if Austin would shut up and asks him why he sold his soul to Vince. He sold his soul and is as big a sl** as Stephanie. The challenge for later on is made (Benoit/Jericho won a match last night to determine the #1 contenders) and it’s a big brawl with the partners coming in as well.

After a break the Two Man Power Trip (which has three people in it) rant a lot with HHH being the main hot head.

Angle gets here with his medals again. He shows them off to various people because there’s a ceremony later. Oh it’s this show. Nice.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Rhyno

This is a more even match than it sounds. Rhyno gets weapons out but gets beaten down quickly. The size difference here is massive. Show suplexes him on the ramp but misses a charge into the post. Here are the weapon shots as Rhyno works over the arm. Getting rid of the chokeslam makes sense. Rhyno sets for the Gore but it hits a chair. Show hits something like a Van Daminator (minus the jump) and a chokeslam onto said can gives Show the title.

Rating: C-. This could only be so good. The match lasted about 4 minutes so it’s not like this was supposed to be a classic or anything. Show shrugged off the arm work which was kind of stupid and made Rhyno look weak, but the reign wound up being pointless as Jericho would win it the next week but lose it back to Rhyno the same night. Go figure.

Angle shows the medals to someone else.

Terri comes in to hit on the APA and pours beer on her top to mess with them. They’re facing the Radicalz next. The Radicalz jump the alcoholics.

Austin can’t find Debra.

Spike and Molly talk about their families fighting. Are they Romeo and Juliet? He gives her some Dudley Glasses as a good luck gift.

Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. APA

Farrooq beats on Dean to start us off. The beating they took doesn’t seem to really be hurting them that much so far. The double neckbreaker gets two on Malenko as this has been one sided so far. Suplex gets two for the future JBL. The heels have to cheat and a superkick puts Bradshaw down for two. Off to Farrooq who can’t get the Dominator on Saturn so Perry hooks a suplex.

Farrooq takes a quick beating but snaps off a powerslam to set up the double tag. Bradshaw cleans house so Terri flashes him….to no effect at all. Saturn takes a big beating with a ton of power moves, getting pinned by a pair of double powerbombs. This would be the start of the Saturn is loopy angle.

Rating: D+. This was pretty stupid. The pre-match beatdown didn’t mean anything and neither did the flashing. Saturn was getting too popular or something so they decided to give him the upcoming gimmick where he was nuts and wanted to date a mop. I can’t stand the idiocy of this company at times.

Regal is talking to someone when Austin comes up looking for Debra. Regal says she might have been attacked by Taker.

The soon to be face Edge and Christian decline to be in on Kurt’s gold medal ceremony.

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. X-Pac

Fast paced feeling out process to start with no one being able to take over so far. The fans all chant for Lita as this is still fast paced. Justin Credible distracts Matt so Pac can take over and let the cheating begin. JR and Paul argue over who “they” are (as in they call Justin the one man crime spree) as Pac/Credible crotch Matt on the post. Bronco Buster is still annoying. They slug it out and Matt blocks the X-Factor into a slingshot.

Pac grabs a backslide for two with the feet on the ropes. Other than a chinlock they’ve been going strong for like 5 minutes. Out to the floor where Jeff interferes and it turns into a big brawl. Lita tries to jump Pac which results in her getting flipped. Here’s Eddie for the save and he throws Pac into the Twist of Fate for the pin as Matt retains.

Rating: B-. For a six minute match, this was pretty awesome. They didn’t stop moving the entire time and it made the match a lot better. Pac can go when he’s in there with a smaller guy like Hardy and this is what you get out of it. As long as he’s not around big guys and overcoming the odds and making said big guy look like an idiot, this was fine.

Saturn is still out of it.

Angle is very happy looking as he comes to the ring. After a break here’s the medal celebration, complete with an Olympic style three place podium. Kurt reads from a scroll about what a hero is because San Jose is stupid. It’s pretty epic with fireworks and Heyman saying John Wayne wishes he could be the American that Angle is. Imagine how JR takes that.

This brings out Shane McMahon to I believe new music which is still awesome. I know he didn’t have it at Mania. He talks about WCW which is starting soon. Shane goes through the letters WCW, starting with W, which stands for World. We live in the world on the planet Earth. There are other planets like Mars, Jupiter, Pluto, and they all have moons. Kurt: “What are you talking about?”

Shane goes on to talk about the letter C, which stands for championship, which Kurt currently doesn’t have. It can also stand for crayon, coyote and for cookie, which is good enough for me. Kurt: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” (According to Eric Bischoff, it stood for commitment but continuity didn’t mean anything in WCW). The final W is for wrestling which he says as he walks up the podium. Angle runs up and hits a big old Angle Slam and the ankle lock to leave Shane laying. This was odd as Shane had no real reason to come out here. It set up a great brawl at KOTR though so no complaints there.

Debra is in the back and is fine. Austin comes in and she says she was just gone getting coffee. She apologizes and Austin says he was worried about her. He talks about Regal thinking it might have been Taker and here is that Taker, getting right in Debra’s face. Taker says it’s not over, which it more or less was. He says it’s personal and to keep his family out of it. Austin isn’t that much shorter than Taker. Taker leaves and Austin says he didn’t fight because Debra was there. Austin came off looking like a face here while Taker looked like a heel.

Shane is escorted out. And I’m sure we won’t see him all night long right?

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies

Molly isn’t tall enough to be the Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress and I don’t know of any Bus Stops in Dudleyville. That’s all the Hollies songs I know so no more references. Big brawl to start and Hardcore is sent outside so double teaming ensues. Bubba vs. Crash officially gets us going. Off to Bob vs. D-Von as the fans want tables. Spike and Molly are near each other on the floor which distracts D-Von, giving the Hollies the advantage.

Heyman is making Jewish references which are probably pushing the limits a bit too far. Suplex gets two. Hardcore’s dropkick is still sweet to watch. Crash gets a DDT for two. Bubba gets the hot tag and there’s What’s Up to Bob. It’s Table Time and JR asks why it’s always D-Von that has to get the tables. Spike tries to convince Bubba not to use it but Crash hits a baseball slide to send it into their faces. Crash tries to use the bell but Molly breaks that up. The bell winds up in the ring and upside D-Von’s head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Hollies were an interesting team that were actually former tag champions, having a totally forgotten two week reign back in 1999. That being said, they were interesting in that they were rarely put into storylines other than hardcore matches or against each other but they were a fairly decent tag team. Fun little match here with a nice surprise at the end, which is usually the best part of a match.

Vince gives Kurt an IC Title shot against Kane. Kurt isn’t sure if that’s a reward. Vince wanted Kurt to hurt Shane even worse.

The more famous Dudleys yell at Spike about Molly. They declare that Molly is going through a table.

Eddie comes in to check on Matt before he and Jeff team up against Edge and Christian.

HHH reminds Austin that they’re a team.

Steven Richards is at WWF New York and announces that…..well I’m not sure as Heyman yells that NO ONE CARES and to go tell someone who cares. I don’t know if it was his voice or what but that cracked me up.

Eddie Guerrero/Jeff Hardy vs. Edge/Christian

Eddie vs. Edge starts us off and this is a pretty stacked tag match. Jeff speeds things up but Christian cheats like a good heel. He comes in legally now and gets a powerslam for two. Heyman shows what an analyst is supposed to do by asking the question of who would make a better partner for Eddie: Jeff or Matt.

See, that simple question is pertinent to the match and angle at hand, gets JR into the conversation, and isn’t something that there’s a clear cut answer to. Today you would hear about how one isn’t in the Fave Five and something about how Cole is going to do this or that and how something is trending on Twitter or talking about the main event. In about 4 seconds, Heyman has probably played more attention to a match than Cole has in a year.

Anyway, Jeff comes in with a jawbreaker to put Edge down and we get a double tag. Eddie snaps off a gorgeous headscissors and the non-Canadians beat Christian down in the corner. There’s Poetry in Motion but Eddie takes a spear and everything breaks down. Eddie might have pushed Jeff out of the way for it. Lita crotches Edge on the post and Eddie gets a sunset bomb on Christian for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty nice fast paced tag match here. Unfortunately the Eddie and Hardys angle never got any resolution as Eddie would be sent to rehab later this month and would be released in November. After next week, he wouldn’t wrestle on Raw until April of 2002. Shame too because the angle was pretty intriguing.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Kurt Angle

Kane still has a bad wing. He takes over anyway with a powerslam early on. Kurt avoids a chokeslam and goes after the arm. A cross armbreaker doesn’t work that well so Kane gets Kurt on the mat and pounds away. The arm work continues for awhile until Kane fires back with a side slam and the clothesline. A big boot and another clothesline put Angle on the floor and here’s Shane for the return attack. He throws Kurt back in for a chokeslam to keep the title on Kane.

Rating: D. Pretty meh match here but it wasn’t terrible I guess. These two didn’t have a particularly good match when they wrestled at Mania either so maybe they just don’t click well. They had six minutes or so and it went by fast, but everyone was waiting on Shane to return and attack, so it was a pretty moot point anyway.

The Chrises say remember where we came from to get here.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great show overall with some very fun stuff throughout the night. Everything clicks and for a TV show, that’s almost unheard of. When you get a classic main event, you’re guaranteed a good show but a great show surrounding it makes this one of the best Raws I can remember in a very long time. Check this show out as it’s awesome stuff.

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Ring of Honor
Date: November 19, 2011
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

We’re at the first show of the third taping set with the road to Final Battle being pretty clear now. Last week saw Edwards busting out some new tricks to use on Richards which Richards hasn’t seen before. That should make for a pretty interesting big show match but as for TV, Richards is killing me. Let’s get to it.

On the opening recap video, there was a message from the station saying that on 1/1/12, this channel may no longer be available. It’s not for sure but it’s possible I guess.

The main event is Richards vs. O’Reilly in a Team Richards showdown. Oh freaking great.

Mike Mondo says he doesn’t know his own strength.

Mike Mondo vs. Alex Silva

Silva recently won his second OVW TV Title. To be fair he lost it like 9 days later but he did win it so points for that. We’re told that we’re going to find out who Edwards’ trainer is going to be later tonight. They chop it out and do a ridiculous leg lock thing where their legs are tied together and stand on their heads to chop each other. They head to the floor where Mondo hits a big dive.

Edwards’ trainer is Dan Severn. For you people that are saying “who is Dan Severn?” that would be because he never meant anything in mainstream wrestling but was a big deal in the very early days of UFC. Why he was picked is beyond me, but I’m sure it’ll be declared AWESOME. They slug it out and Silva grabs a spinebuster for two. Mondo grabs an armlock but Silva grabs a rope. A second spinebuster is countered into a facejam. A double arm DDT gets the pin for Mondo at 5:00.

Rating: C-. It was better than Mondo’s first match. Silva is only 20 so it’s not like this is going to be his last match. Mondo….I’m just not a fan of the whole Crash Holly “I’m big” thing he’s got going on. He isn’t that good and it shows really badly for him at times. Not a horrible match, but it would have been better served as a dark match.

Cornette says he doesn’t have an official response for Steen yet but on a personal level he says that he’s innocent and will officially respond next week.

Lethal vs. Generico next week for the TV Title.

Lethal says whatever Mike Bennett is up to, it’s not going to work. Bennett had his shot at more time but ran, so Generico gets the next shot.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Mike Bennett

Bennett says this is a TV Title match despite a lack of a title for Bennett. A spinebuster puts Jamin down and Bennett is barely breaking a sweat here. Off to a chinlock as Olivencia is the hometown boy. He’s an upper midcard face in OVW if I didn’t mention that. A running knee by Jamin sets up his comeback and a clothesline gets two. Jamin jumps into a boot but grabs a rollup for two. A sitout Rock Bottom (Box Office Smash) ends Olivencia at 3:34.

Rating: C. Just a squash here which is fine for something like this. Three matches per show is far better than the usual two that they have so I’ll give them points for that. Not a great match at all or even a good one, but it’s hard to grade squashes as there’s just nothing to talk about for the most part.

The reveal of Edwards’ trainer was on Edwards’ Twitter. Richards is mad about it being Severn because Edwards stole it from Richards or something.

We talk about the All Night Express for no apparent reason.

The Briscoes want Coleman and Alexander to show that they’re better than the tag champions and that challenge is accepted.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Davey Richards

This is getting like 20 minutes isn’t it? Davey says the fans are here for American Strong Style, which is ROH style. Great. Truth Martini is on commentary for no explained reason. They trade kicks and strikes as the kickboxing and martial arts begin. Richards takes him down but there’s no malice here. They both hit dropkicks to give us a stalemate. They hit the mat for leg locks which goes nowhere.

Richards kicks him in the face so they slug it out a bit more aggressively here. Now we talk about Edwards stealing Severn as a training partner. Martini talks about how Edwards is lost and he could give Edwards the guidance he needs. O’Reilly throws on rolling butterfly supelexes and off to a cross armbreaker. They slug it out and Richards kicks him down. A running kick to the face of O’Reilly gets two as we take a break.

Back with O’Reilly getting two and we slug it out even more. The champ takes him down with a clothesline but here are more strikes and kicks. Richards says bring it on so they slap each other a lot. A running knee to the chest gets two for Kyle. A leg trap suplex gets the same and Kyle goes up, only to get knocked to the floor. Richards misses a kick and hits the post by mistake, letting O’Reilly hit a running dropkick off the apron. Missile dropkick gets two and it’s off to a guillotine choke.

Richards rolls into an ankle lock which is reversed into a tornado DDT and back into the choke. Off to a standing version of said choke and Richards grabs the ankle. Kyle rolls through into one of his own but Richards rolls through into one of his own and the other member of Team Richards throws in the towel at 16:30.

Rating: C. The kicks are still annoying. Richards shrugged off the kick to the post and the ankle lock came out of nowhere, which isn’t a good thing because it all the kicks go completely against the style the match had so far. But hey, they kicked and struck a lot so the match had to be good right? Not a fan of Richards and this style at all.

Richards beats up Martini post match.

Overall Rating: C. The three matches helped a lot but at the same time….I just don’t care about most of these feuds. Honestly if I lose ROH TV soon after this I’m not going to care in the slightest. These stories aren’t interesting me at all and the matches are nothing special to see either. I don’t get all the hype this company gets, because this show has been weak since day one.

Results
Mike Mondo b. Alex Silva – Double Arm DDT
Mike Bennett b. Jamin Olivencia – Box Office Smash
Davey Richards b. Kyle O’Reilly via corner stoppage

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It’s that time of the month again.  Make your own jokes.I’ll take Rock/Cena but if there’s no violence there, it’s going to be viewed as boring.  I’m thinking there’s a big essay length post about the build to Mania whenever I have the chance to write it.

I think Team Barrett wins because the Barrage has been going too strong to have him lose his first big match as a top heel on the show.

Henry to retain.  It wouldn’t make sense for Show to win and I’d expect a possible match to blow it off at TLC before Kane returns.

The show is looking good from a build perspective and somehow, Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth is looking like the weakest main event.  The biggest problem is that there’s no reason to have the match as nothing is going to happen if Awesome Truth wins because they’ve been right: they’re an afterthought.

Thoughts?

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Well this has been built up for a good while now. The main thing here is who does Cena side with: Nexus or the forces of good as it’s Free or Fired. I really don’t know what’s coming here so I’m rather excited for this. We also have a decent build to Edge vs. Kane but I don’t think it ends tonight. Kane is a step backwards now but I think he still pulls it out. On paper this is a decent show. Let’s get to it.

We open with the old school run down of the Survivor Series logos and then we shift over to Cena. Wait I’m watching this on the internet so let me get this out of the way: CZENA SUX HE ONLY KNOWZ FIVE MOVEZ! There now that that’s out of the way we can continue. The people in the LD are right: this video on Cena and Barrett is awesome. Oh and Orton is here too.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

At least Maryse looks hot. Cole is on Bryan for his music this time. Daniel goes for the arm to start which gets reversed. Some submissions master. Nice counter if nothing else and the lights go out for a second. Lawler: I like it when the lights go down. Cole: So do I since I don’t have to look at Bryan. He’s on tonight. DiBiase tries to suplex Bryan to the floor and actually get it in a nice bump.

Challenger controls and hits an elbow from the middle rope to Bryan who is laid on the apron. Think how Taker puts someone for his legdrop. I guess the lights going on for a bit made him channel his inner deadman. Bryan gets some strikes in but DiBiase just pounds him down. Dang Maryse is looking good in a nice little short dress. DiBiase gets a second rope dropkick for two.

Cole jumps down Bryan’s throat again. Apparently Johnny Rodz trained Striker. That explains a lot. Bryan speeds things up but still can’t keep momentum going as DiBiase kicks him in the face. Bryan gets a suicide dive to the floor and may have blown out a shoulder. Not sure if it’s legit or not. There’s the top rope dropkick so he’s doing on enough it seems.

Bryan gets a small package for two but DiBiase gets a clothesline so hard that Bryan backflips for two. Dream Street is countered twice but DiBiase gets a big spinebuster for two. Better match than I was expecting so far. Ted goes way up but gets crotched into a belly to back off the top. Nice job and Bryan’s shoulder is either messed up legit or he’s selling the heck out of it. That gets a nice two and here comes the LeBell Lock but it’s countered into a slingshot. And so much for that as the hold goes on and DiBiase taps.

Rating: B. Solid opener all around here. I don’t think DiBiase was a legit threat for the most part but he was fine for a challenger. This is the kind of thing I’ve been looking for more of with DiBiase giving Bryan a nice challenge but nothing he can’t handle and we got a pretty solid match out of it. What more can you ask for? Nice opener.

As Bryan is celebrating Miz pops him with the MITB case. He and Riley get in the ring and runs down the Heat (remember he’s from Cleveland) which is very true here as the Heat are just doing ok this year and have started badly all things considered. He shifts over to LeBron, saying he should go back to Cleveland. The lights go out again during this. He says he’s tired of carrying the briefcase. It’s a matter of when, not if.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison which should be good if their falls count anywhere match was any indication. Basically Morrison says Sheamus is a bully and is protecting Santino from him. Sheamus says he’s a former and future champion and Morrison is jealous.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

I’ve been looking forward to this one. Morrison starts fast of course and sends Sheamus to the floor with a dropkick, followed by a corkscrew dive over the top to the floor. And so much for that as Sheamus drills him in the head. Striker says he’s enjoying the beating here. All Sheamus for the most part here. Lawler still doesn’t like him.

Lawler talks about the size difference, prompting various jokes. Sheamus is pounding away here and is getting close to that zone of his. Middle rope suplex is blocked though and here comes Johnny Boy. Top rope cross body is rolled through into a powerslam for two. I’ve always been a fan of that counter as it’s simple yet effective. Brogue Kick misses and an enziguri puts both guys down.

Sheamus is up first and we slug it out. Nice job of being an anti-bully by punching the guy in the face. Nice thing to teach the kids there Johnny. He looks all ticked off now and goes on offense. He walks into an Irish Curse for two though. The crowd is into this show so far which is a nice touch. We get our second slingshot into the post of the night and a Russian legsweep gets two on the Irish dude.

Morrison lands on the middle rope off a catapult and Sheamus takes the knee out. Solid back and forth match so far. In a move I’ve never seen before, Sheamus puts Morrison’s leg on his shoulder like he’s going to stun it and then launches him forward just by pulling it forward. That’s a new one on me. Half crab gets Sheamus nowhere. Morrison grabs a rollup for two.

Back to the knee and Morrison is in trouble again. Morrison sends him into the corner but Sheamus gets up before Starship Pain can hit. And there’s the High Cross but it’s countered again and the Flash Kick takes down Sheamus. A running knee gets the three and the WZPC Title is in trouble.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot. Rather solid match for the most part here with both guys getting solid offense in which resulted in me not knowing who was going to win until the end. That’s the sign of a good match and it paid off here. Solid stuff again and these two have a weird chemistry together which isn’t something you can teach. I liked it.

Knucklehead stuff.

Cena is in the back and here’s R-Truth again to complain about nothing in general. He offers a solution and Cena kind of rolls his eyes. Truth offers to interfere and attack Orton which Cena shoots down. Truth doesn’t believe he’ll be fair. More or less this sounded like a heel turn promo.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Basically this is happening because Kaval got his first win over Ziggler on Smackdown and is using his win of his choice. Cole runs Kaval down of course. Vickie does her usual thing. Kaval has some slightly new tights here. And so does Ziggler. Kaval kicks a lot to start and in other news I’m watching wrestling. A snap mare gets one. Who covers after a freaking snap mare?

Ziggler gets some basic grappling to take down Kaval. Striker wants Vickie and Kaitlyn. He must be hardcore. Handspring into a cross body (think Tajiri) gets two for Kaval. Vickie distracts Kaval and down he goes. The title has never changed hands in Miami. I don’t get the point of those things. They don’t really mean much but they’re better than nothing I guess.

The announcers exchange movie and TV references including Cagney and Lacey as not much is going on here. Kaval takes over with strikes of course, some of which aren’t even strikes. Kaval is the World Warrior apparently. NICE moonsault press gets two. A handspring sets up a BRUTAL kick to the face for two. That was awesome looking.

Warrior’s Way is avoided and Ziggler gets the sleeper on the middle rope. He gets knocked off and Kaval busts out a moonsault into a 450. No worries though as he lands on his feet. Well of course he does. Backslide gets two and a Fameasser (NOT THE ZIG ZAG COLE!) gets two. Both guys down now as this show has been SWEET from a wrestling perspective so far. SWEET enziguri from the top gets two.

They slug it out some more and Ziggler can’t put him away. Kaval goes for a school boy but Ziggler grabs the ropes. A small package for Dolph gets two as this is getting very good very fast. Another rollup from Kaval is reversed into a rollup by Ziggler to retain. Nice pinfall reversal into the ending there. May have been some tights grabbed too.

Rating: B-. This has been a SWEET show from a wrestling perspective as this is the third solid match in a row. When’s the last time you get that from a WWE show? Kaval shouldn’t win a title yet so this is a good ending for it. Ziggler is very good in the ring and has been getting to show us that lately. I liked this as I have every match. Good match again.

Team Del Rio talks about beating Rey and there’s a theme of speaking Spanish here. Del Rio wants to see kids cry. I like this guy!

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Chris Masters, MVP
Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger

The crowd has kind of died which is sad as this has been a very solid show so far. Cole says the heel team is the best groomed team ever. That was a good one. The captains start us off here as I love seeing these matches. It would be nice to not have seen it at Bragging Rights but you get the idea. Cody comes in maybe 10 seconds after we start. Team Rey is all in blue.

Striker says Rickey Henderson might be the best ball player of all time. Just….no. Lawler has to get them back on track. You can tell they’re in trouble when he’s the voice of reason. Beautiful Disaster gets two and here comes Alberto again. Rey takes over and needs to tag. Ah there we go and it’s the hometown boy. Drive By kick in the corner and here comes Kofi.

Lawler talks about his mini clowns and mini kings. Here’s Masters now as Alberto is getting beaten up. Drew jumps into Chris’ boot and MVP is back in to beat up Drew. Ballin hits but we get the Mania 5 Rude/Warrior ending to get rid of MVP. Masters vs. Alberto now as Masters hits a Jackhammer for two. Masterlock can’t go on but Alberto gets a Codebreaker onto the arm and then the armbreaker gets the tap to get us to 5-3.

And here’s Big Show which I think everyone saw coming. Off to Swagger and down he goes to some chops. Swagger takes out the knee and brings in Alberto again. Dang he’s been in a lot. He slaps Show’s head and Show shouts HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Drew won’t tag in so Alberto tags him in. Show knocks Alberto out anyway for fun. Nice shot as Del Rio just crumbled. Something tells me that’s your ending.

Future Shock can’t hit Show who slams Kofi onto Drew for two. Del Rio is taken out and I’d bet on him coming out to get the win, especially since the announcer said completely eliminated. Kofi slaps Cody who LOSES it, destroying the table and kicking anything in sight. He yells at Chimmel to HOLD UP THE JACKET. There’s a blemish so Kofi slams him again.

Show comes in and grabs his face. Show yells at him and Cody hides, so Show just punches him for the easy pin. Reks is in and hits a big clothesline on Show to take him down for two. Back to Swagger as it’s 5-4 Del Rio but he’s out getting checked on. The heels go after Show’s leg but Show kicks him in the head. And so much for that as Show goes for the chokeslam but it’s reversed into the ankle lock. Has no face ever heard of breaking up a hold???

Show drags Swagger to the corner and gets the tag to Rey who goes nuts on Jackie boy. Big boot takes Rey’s head off though for two. Kofi interferes to put Swagger in 619 position but he grabs the legs into a SICK ankle lock. He can’t crawl to the corner so he swings Jack into 619 position but Swagger tags Reks. Kofi comes in but they can’t get Reks out even with a big top rope cross body.

Kofi misses his running leapfrog into the punches in the corner and winds up in the Tree of Woe. Kofi kicks him out of that and gets the pin to tie us up. Swagger grabs the ankle lock which doesn’t work and neither does the powerbomb. Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise and lands in the ankle lock to make it officially 3-2 with Show and Rey against Swagger Drew and Del Rio even though Del Rio is gone.

Show and Rey go for the Rey diving off Show’s shoulders but Drew gets a shot in and Rey crashes. Swagger vs. Rey with the masked dude getting a top rope rana to set up the 619. There’s the Show’s shoulder splash to get us down to just Drew in the ring. Yep I’d still bet on Del Rio coming back. Future Shock is blocked and the 619 sets up a chokeslam to end it. Apparently that’s it as Del Rio is gone. So I guess Del Rio was eliminated first?

Rating: B-. These are hard to grade but this was pretty fun. The ending was about what I expected but Alberto going out first was really weird and I was completely wrong about him coming back. It’s nice to see one of these at the show that’s supposed to have these matches. Rey and Show winning was kind of predictable but that works fine sometimes. Fun stuff.

Ad for TLC which is literally all stick figures. I liked it.

Randy says nothing special.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Man Michelle looks good in some gold shorts. I can’t imagine Natalya doesn’t get the belt tonight. Actually I could but it involves Beth Phoenix returning soon. Natalya is built. We start with some blonde on blonde action here which is never a bad thing. The announcers point out that both of Laycool are from Florida. That means a total of nothing but whatever.

Heel double teaming puts Natalya out to the floor and has her in trouble. Dang imagine Michelle as your teacher in like 7th grade. Natalya gets a suplex on both girls to send everyone down. They play up the whole this is Natalya’s life thing as she gets beaten down. That would signal foreshadowing and maybe it does as McCool is sent into the crowd. Back in the ring as Natalya sends their heads together and the Sharpshooter to McCool ends it.

Rating: D+. Was anyone really surprised here? This was about what everyone expected it to be and at least the right person won. Not a bad match or anything but a total break between the early stuff and then the real meat of the show which we’re about to get to. This change needed to happen so all is right with the world now. Ok not in the slightest but this was the right result.

Post match Laycool jumps here and I was right as Beth is here to kick their small but shapely figures. She celebrates with Natalya.

We recap Edge vs. Kane which more or less is Edge came back to Smackdown and won a title shot then kidnapped Paul Bearer. That’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Champion comes out first here which is a little weird. Pretty decent pop for Edge. Edge brings out an empty wheelchair to keep up the psychological stuff. Edge fires away to start and pulls Kane not quite to the floor. Top rope something jumps into the chokeslam but a spinwheel kick gets Edge out of trouble as well as two. Edge keeps messing with Kane’s mind and it seems to be working.

Edge goes for the knee and controls for the opening few minutes if not more. Edgecution is blocked and Edge gets draped over the top rope and has his head kicked in. Kane keeps asking where Paul is. Apparently the only way for him to find out is for Edge to tell him and it has to be IN THIS MATCH. Why? Striker makes it seem like Bearer will die if he doesn’t do this just right. This isn’t Bash 04 dude.

This crowd is just boring. We get a Craig Pittman reference of all things as King mentions hearing once that “beatings will continue until morale improves.” Edge gets a top rope cross body for two as this is going VERY slowly. Edge gets a shot in for a counter as this is putting me to sleep.

We get some very basic back and forth stuff with nothing behind it at all. The fans just do not care at all here. The Edgecution hits as I’m just waiting for LONG stretches of time between typing anything here due to boredom. Edge sets for the spear but Kane kicks his head off and gets the chokeslam for two. And then Edge hits the spear to win it. The announcers seem to not notice.

And never mind as both sets of shoulders were down so it’s a tie and Kane keeps the title. I smell a TLC match.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was boring. We had to sit here that whole time for THAT finish? Are you kidding me? We had a tie at Survivor Series. This company makes my head hurt so often at times. I guess that it sets up a big gimmick match at the next PPV, but the downside is that it sets up a big gimmick match at the next PPV.

Post match Kane goes to beat up Edge but Edge counters and puts Kane in the wheelchair which Edge sends through the barricade.

Barrett talks to Cena about Nexus which began in this building. We get it.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

All of Nexus is out here for this but they don’t talk. Well other than Barrett of course. Slater vs. Santino to start as apparently Vlad has been teaching Santino Sambo. Oh great now he has offense. Nexus looks like they have more unique tights now. Santino gets the first loud chant in a good while. Oh what are you really expecting here? After Vlad gets beaten down for awhile Santino comes in and cleans house but Nexus interferes so Slater can get the pin to retain. It was maybe four minutes long.

Rating: D. This was the next to last match on a major PPV. Do I need to explain why this was a bad idea?

Nexus beats Santino down afterwards and it’s E-MAIL TIME IN SOUTH BEACH BABY!!! It’s just a reminder to not interfere in the title match and if they do they’re all suspended.

We recap Cena vs. Barrett. Cena is stuck in Nexus and if he gets Barrett the title tonight he isn’t fired and is free from Nexus. If Orton retains then Cena is fired. Short and sweet, so of course they take five minutes to set it up. Sweet video though.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Cena comes out first and is all like come on let’s get this over with. Nice pop for Orton but not as big as for Cena. Immediately after the bell rings a fan shouts out YOU FREAKING PIECE OF GARBAGE! Not sure who that was to but dang it’s weird hearing that on a WWE show. The fans chant RKO and we start very, very slowly.

Clean match a few minutes in. This is going to get 15-20 minutes and no one cares about anything but the ending. Cena is being fair so far. They head to the floor with Barret in control. Barrett throws punches for two as Cena counts fairly. This has been about 80% punches and headlocks and we’re almost ten minutes in.

The one thing no one seems to talk about in WWE is the idea of Barrett just being able to beat Orton. If that happens fairly then Cena wins his freedom and Barrett wins fairly. It tells you a lot when a clean ending is a total and complete impossibility. The match doesn’t matter a bit here as it’s just window dressing for the Cena move, whatever that is.

A Barrett elbow gets two. Cena keeps having to explain that it was a two count and the shoulder was up. Barrett sets for Wasteland but Orton gets elbows to the head. And then he gets a Bossman (Black Hole according to Striker) Slam for two. Dueling Cena chants start up. Back in the ring Wasteland hits and Orton grabs the rope. Cena counted fairly.

Barrett gets in his face and Cena looks scared. Barrett shoves him and Cena shoves him into the RKO and counts the three. Hokey smoke. Everyone is stunned, myself included.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but to put it mildly this was all about setting up the ending angle which is going on as I type this. Barrett’s in ring style is something I like. This wasn’t horrible as the crowd carried a lot of it, but this really was pretty weak. It was all about the ending though, and sometimes that’s fine. Not terrible but just there as a backdrop for the ending.

Nexus runs in and it’s the Super Best Friends to take care of them. Cena hands him the title and he poses to his music and leaves. Cena stands in the ring and lays his wristbands down in the middle of the ring and gets a mostly face chant. He hugs Cole and Sign Guy then comes back towards the ring. He points to a camera and walks up the ramp. I feel like an idiot writing every basic thing he does. The little graphic comes on in the corner as he’s about to leave but he goes into the crowd to high five people. He goes all the way around the arena and the camera stays on him, and then he leaves and we fade to black.

Overall Rating: B. There were some boring parts (Kane vs. Edge springs to mind. Scratch that as springing would imply someone doing something quickly in that match) to this but overall I really liked tonight’s show. The wrestling in the first hour to hour and a half is the best WWE has put on TV in a long time. The drama in the main event was certainly there and while I didn’t like the execution of it that well, the point was to make us want to watch to see what happened and that’s what happened.

This show was high on drama and it felt like a major show. Having four good matches to start and some decent ones to finish on helped a lot too. The show felt like it was something you needed to see and with that all hinging on one moment, the extra stuff at the beginning easily make this a good show and well worth checking out if you get the chance. Good show.

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Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2011
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

With two days to go before the PPV, most of the card is already set. Rock/Cena will probably be the focal point of the talking which is fine, as long as the rest of the show gets some talking too. Big Show vs. Henry should get a good solid push here and somehow I’m looking forward to that. If they keep it at about ten minutes max it could be ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with Henry in the back choking away at Bryan and beating the tar out of him. He yells about disrespect and carries him into the arena. They hit the ring and Bryan is destroyed with the Slam. Referees come out so Bryan takes another slam. He grabs a mic and says that either he or Big Show is leaving MSG on a stretcher, and it won’t be him.

Show isn’t scheduled to wrestle tonight.

The main event is Orton/Sheamus vs. Barrett/Orton.

Sin Cara vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Pre-match, Vickie announces that Dolph is fighting twice at the PPV as he did I think last time. The opponent this time is Morrison. The lights are changed again. I wonder if that’s the case during the Survivor Series match as well. Ziggler stalls a bit then takes Cara to the mat with a fireman’s carry. Cara finally gets some speed going with the Tajiri elbow and a suicide dive to the floor to take out the champ.

Dolph gets a boot to Cara as he comes in and drops an elbow. He botches the nipup a bit but points for trying. Hashtag heel hooks something like a Fujiwara Armbar but Cara comes up with strikes and the spinning wrist drag out of the corner. An enziguri from the apron sets up a misses swanton. Cara tries to roll him up but Dolph reverses and uses the tights for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: C-. This match never got going. They started off slow and other than the dive to the floor, nothing exciting ever really happened. It’s good that Dolph didn’t lose again as he’s got enough people chasing him so far. Not a horrible match, but absolutely nothing past first gear in this one.

Ziggy talks some trash so Cara beats him up like a rudo. This draws out Swagger and Ryan in that order for the saves.

Mason Ryan vs. Jack Swagger

Here’s the rare joined in progress match. Swagger takes him to the mat as I don’t think this has been going on very long so far. Ryan tries a powerslam but Swagger reverses and takes him down with a Vader Bomb for two. Off to a double chickenwing as this is rapidly approaching Ryan’s limit as far as time goes. Here’s his comeback with a powerslam as Cole talks about all of the big moments in SS history. Full nelson doesn’t work but the second attempt does. The slam ends this clean at 6:18 shown.

Rating: D+. Just a power match here but Ryan getting all the ring time he can is the right thing for him now. It’s not like Swagger is worth anything as a win anymore but Ryan got some experience which he needs. He’s got a LONG way to go and ring time is all that’s going to help him at this point.

Alicia Fox hits on Gabriel in the back when Ryder comes up and asks for a signature in exchange for a shirt. Show comes up and signs also. Ryder and Gabriel aren’t cool with Show being here because he wasn’t around for the beatdown earlier. Show asks where Mark is but goes to find Daniel instead.

Here’s Christian who is all banged up with a neck injury as well as his legit bad ankle. Christian insists he fought Sheamus last week as well as all over Europe, during which he hurt his ankle. It may keep him out for a few months but he’ll be cheering on Team Barrett on Sunday. Normally he’d be asking for one more match for the world title, but instead here he’s wanting one more match period. The fans don’t care about his pain and he says he’s a man. The people make him sick though and he’s through with all of them.

Bryan is in the trainers’ room with AJ for some reason. Show comes in and says it’s his fault. He’ll go find Henry.

Ted DiBiase vs. Derrick Bateman

THEN WHY IS HE ON NXT??? Whatever, as it’s not worth thinking about. Maxine interferes a bit and allows Bateman to take over. This isn’t going to last long I don’t think. NXT is discussed a bit as Bateman hooks that half nelson which was in every match on NXT this past week. I was right as Dream Street ends this at 2:50.

Show searches for Henry but finds Tyson Kidd and Jinder Mahal, who says something in whatever language he speaks. “You want to repeat that in English?” “No.” PUNCH. Show was also told Henry left the building.

Here’s Show in the ring and he says that the match could have happened tonight. However if that happened, he would have beaten Henry down so badly it would have been a disqualification and no new champion. Show has a piece of his favorite footage which is where Show had his leg broken by Henry. He says it’ll be Henry that is carried out of Survivor Series and there will be a new champion. Show holds up his fist and says it’s coming for him. He yells at the camera as his music plays.

Kofi Kingston vs. Hunico

Hunico says something in Spanish before the bell. Kofi grabs the arm to start and we hit the ropes a bit. Kofi sets for a monkey flip but Hunico fires a dropkick into the ribs to take over. Hunico with a chinlock and Booker says Kofi might tap. Has anyone ever given up to one of those? These two aren’t really clicking so far. Off to something like an abdominal stretch on the mat. Kofi makes his comeback as we talk about the elimination match some more. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. The top rope cross body is rolled through for two but SOS gets the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this for how basic it was: it was a heel vs. a face with the brawler vs. the high flier and the high flier hitting a speed move to win it. What more can you really ask for in five minutes? I liked it here and it worked pretty well given what they had. Setting up the PPV match is always a good thing, but why in the world is Hunico supposed to be viewed as a threat?

Video on Big Zeke.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

Beth vs. Eve is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. Kaitlyn vs. Beth to start and I don’t think this is going to last long. Beth and Natalya are called Pin-Up Strong. The team with three nicknames takes over quickly with Nattie hooking an abdominal stretch. Off to AJ who is caught in a Sharpshooter with Natalya bending all the way back to the mat as AJ taps at 2:57. Kaitlyn is all ticked off post match, teasing a heel turn.

The main event angle from Raw eats up ten minutes.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

Cody has officially been relegated to just a guy in trunks instead of an interesting character. I mean, he was getting over as a heel in a character that was even slightly different so KILL HIM NOW!!! Cody vs. Sheamus starts us off but it’s off to Barrett less than a minute in. Sheamus takes over and hits the pounding forearms while Barrett is in the ropes. Barrett and the moving hair of death fires back with that bow and arrow hold of his.

A tag brings in Orton and the place pops. He hits the powerslam and elevated DDT very quickly and calls for the RKO already. Cody comes off the top to break it up but jumps into a boot and the over the shoulder neckbreaker. Barrett kicks Orton down and we take a break. Back with Orton vs. Rhodes as Christian has come down to ringside. The captains slug it out and Barrett wins it, as he should given his backstory. Nice to see that for a change.

Barrett breaks up an attempted tag in a nice move by coming in and drilling Sheamus before Orton can get to him. There’s the hot tag anyway as Sheamus cleans house. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Christian pokes him with the crutch for the DQ at 7:50 shown of 11:20.

Rating: C+. This was shaping up to be a pretty solid tag match but the ending and lack of time hurt it a lot. The ending not being definitive is a great thing as Barrett looks strong and Christian is added as a potential wild card to the match on Sunday. This match has been built up very well and it feels like an additional main event, which is all you can ask for.

Rhodes takes a beating post match with finishers a go-go. Barrett takes an RKO and the good guys stand tall.

Overall Rating: B+. For a go home show, this was good stuff. Almost every big match got at least some kind of discussion or advancement and the elimination match continues to be built strong where I’m looking forward to it more than Cena/Rock or any other match. Good stuff here and I’m pretty impressed by this show.

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Sin Cara – Rollup with a handful of tights
Mason Ryan b. Jack Swagger – Full nelson slam
Ted DiBiase b. Derrick Bateman – Dream Street
Kofi Kingston b. Hunico – SOS
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to AJ
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett via DQ when Christian interfered

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location; Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Michael Cole

Well here we are. After a month of build up, we’re at the Survivor Series. Since most of you have been watching the buildup, I’ll spare you the details of it. The card looks pretty good if nothing else. I’m not wild on the treatment the two triple threats are getting as they seem like the belts are being made silly which simply never works for me. I will say this though: the team matches have been booked and built very well.

That’s the key to these shows I think as you can advance feuds, like Orton vs. Kofi without actually having them fight. That’s invaluable as in today’s market you have so many PPVs dominating the market that saving some of the matches is the best thing possible. Let’s do it as I’m doing this one live so it’s going to be a bit less wordy.

The opening video talks about the history of the show. I’ve been doing that for a month so whatever.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Ziggler, Swagger
Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! This is what the Series should be about: promoting the midcard. The most important thing about the midcard here: it exists. For so many years there just hasn’t been one as everyone is just sent to the main event or is a jobber. Here are ten guys that are firmly in the midcard. The heels are quite a team actually and there’s at least four great theme songs in there. Sheamus is a very good monster heel.

I’d bet on Lawler trying to cause Sheamus his match. The description of Miz is perfect: you might like him but you just won’t admit it. How true is that? Apparently Sheamus’ day may come tonight. There’s nothing like that great Lawler analysis. We start with Swagger and Bourne, which is a rather odd but interesting pairing. I guess that’s the point here. Allegedly Miz was at the first Survivor Series. So is he like a poor man’s Foley or something?

The stream isn’t being very nice so this could be a bit spotty here. As for reasons as to why these guys are here, more or less most of these feuds aren’t happening anymore but they were recently enough so I guess that counts for something. Ok the live idea didn’t work as I couldn’t find a good enough stream so this is being written very early Tuesday morning now. DAng it’s weird writing one of these since I haven’t done one in months now.

Seeing Sheamus after the ending of Raw is just a bit odd. Swagger is just made of awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a small package blocked before. Ziggler beats the heck out of Bourne which makes me wonder if he’ll, meaning Ziggler, will ever get a push like so many people want him to. Evan Bourne is freaking scary in the air man. We get the first tag for the faces as Hardy comes in. Less than 20 seconds later he tags Bourne back in and the Shooting Star puts out Ziggler.

In about 10 seconds Bourne is out to a double arm DDT. Did Striker just say Finlay vs. McIntyre has been lighting up Friday nights? That’s very stupid but I like Striker just for his references alone so there we are. Finlay and Sheamus stare each other down and Sheamus just jumps up with a bicycle kick. I LOVE THAT! He was just like screw this standing around nonsense and kicked the tar out of him to pin him.

We’re at 4-3 now if you were a bit confused. We keep hearing about Lawler and Sheamus and no one really cares as Jerry has come off like a jerk during this whole thing. Miz calls spots to Hardy which Striker uses the Billy Graham method of saying Miz is trash talking him to cover it up, which is a good idea if nothing else. Hardy is taking a beating here which is a tradition of Survivor Series. Even on the apron Morrison has such a great presence. You can’t teach something like that.

Does Matt have a single move that doesn’t work on the neck at all? Morrison got a POP. Something in me wants to see Swagger vs. Morrison in a long feud. That would just be awesome in my mind. Yeah I’m a Morrison mark now. The guy is just freaking awesome. The referee went down which apparently is a legit injury. Starship Pain, which is a sweet name if there ever has been one, ties us up. It’s Miz, Sheamus and McIntyre vs. Shelton, Hardy and Morrison.

Miz and Morrison could main event a small PPV someday. Shelton is freaking insane in the ring. Now if only they could get him a personality. Miz pins Shelton with the Breakdown which takes less time to type than the regular name. That right there is what Miz needs more than anything else: pins over more established stars. He’s viewed as a guy with limited credibility and the more wins he gets the faster that goes away and the faster he becomes a more complete wrestler.

Like it or not, he’s the real deal and he’s going to be around for awhile. I’m still undecided on McIntyre. He’s not bad, but I don’t see him as being as great as everyone says he is. If nothing else he uses a DDT so I can’t complain. He gets us down to 3-1 and I’m marking for Morrison here, despite knowing the ending.

Morrison of course gets his head handed to him as we get even more Rockers comparisons, which doesn’t work as both guys have potential to be somewhat big deals. Eventually the Razor’s Edge from Sheamus puts out Morrison, giving us three sole survivors as WWE makes my head shake more and more.

Rating: B. This was easily the best choice for the opener. The midcard gets a very solid push here which is what these matches can do better than anything else. The ending was very good also as it would have been unrealistic for Morrison o fight off all three at once. He should have gone down here and having it 3-1 keeps him credible. This was a solid match as the heels winning is just fine. This was very good and an excellent opener.

The black push continues as Christian is the only white guy on his team. Only this comes to mind:

The segment is funny if nothing else. Kofi without the accent has upped his credibility about 1000%. I still don’t buy everything that is said about Christian. I think that’s his biggest issue: his name. Christian. It just does nothing for me at all. I’d say that’s the main problem.

We recap Rey vs. Batista, which has to be the best heel turn in a good while. The angle sucks badly as they weren’t really best friends or anything or even close so the whole thing didn’t work. Anyway, let’s get to this as the package goes on way too long.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

This match has a no harm clause meaning that if Batista hurts him he can’t be sued, which more or less gives away the result. As I said in the LD, only WWE would have Batista’s first major heel match in his hometown where he’s going to get a massive pop. Ok, I’m sick of any and all references to Eddie. He passed away four years ago. Yes it was tragic. Yes he’s missed. STOP FREAKING MAKING ANGLES ABOUT HIM!!!

If you want to remember him fondly, stop using him as a prop. That’s absurd. Ok, so usually I write the reviews as the match goes, but based on what I read in the LD, this was a minute long squash. I have no idea where the whole part about not being able to respect Rey again came from. The way you guys were talking about it, Rey got less offense in than he did against Khali when he was world champion. This was perfectly fine.

In wrestling, you have to have a high level of suspension of disbelief. Rey as a credible main event guy is something that certainly falls under that category. There’s no reason to believe that he should have a chance against someone of Batista’s size. The thing is in this match, he got a TON of offense in. More or less Batista had to get his hands on Rey one time and the rest would be history. Rey got out of a ton of stuff and had Batista in trouble.

I seriously do not get where the squash thing is coming from. Batista is supposed to be an animal and he mauled Rey after he hit the first big move. Was Rey supposed to kick out of the Batista Bomb? He got a beatdown after a big power move. This was perfectly fine and there was nothing wrong with it. Rey has been beaten up before by people like Chavo Guerrero of all people and he came back fine from it. He’ll come back, likely at TLC and cost Batista the title. What was wrong here?

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine. It was short but it did its job very well. Honestly, what do you want from this match? It did everything it was supposed to do which mainly was getting Rey off of TV for awhile. It did that and allowed Batista to get a big boost as a monster heel. What more do you want here?

We jump to the back with Team Orton who might as well be called team losers here given the endings to the first two matches.

Promo for the Raw that aired last night which was quite good.

Team Orton vs. Team Kingston

Orton, Rhodes, DiBiase, Regal, Punk
Kingston, Christian, R-Truth, MVP, Mark Henry

The feuds are about as basic as you could think of here but that works fine here. We’re starting out with Henry vs. Orton. Please, make it quick. Henry is named the Chef of Hell’s Kitchen by Striker. I don’t get it. Striker goes on to point out that Orton is a Royal Rumble winner which could play into strategy here. Cole points out he’s a six time world champion as well. Ok, the Rumble thing makes a little sense I guess as both matches are about survival.

The world champion thing tells me one thing: titles change hands too often. No one mentions that Orton has been the sole survivor three times because that clearly has no effect on anything at all. Either way, an RKO takes Henry out in about a minute so at least he didn’t fill up the screen for too long. On paper this more or less should be Christian and Kofi again Punk and Orton.

Everyone else on those teams are more or less jobbers or midcard guys that aren’t going to do anything here. Thank goodness they didn’t call that move where Punk jumped and did a front flip over MVP a belly to belly suplex. At least they got that right. My boy hits a GTS to put Truth out, but does a very smart thing before doing it: he pulls Truth to his corner before going for the cover.

It’s little things like that which can make a wrestler be a step ahead of everyone else. It’s smart from a kayfabe perspective which so few people do yet. They’re really talking Kofi up here which is the best thing they could do. After a Killswitch misses, a pretty nice spinning sunset flip from the middle rope puts out DiBiase to make it 4-3.

Kofi comes in to a solid pop. If you haven’t seen it, take a look at the MSG fight between Kofi and Orton. It made Kofi’s career. Rhodes is called the Triforce of the Blue Eyed Bandit. I’m not sure if I like that or not. After a blind tag MVP hits what is actually a Mafia Kick on Regal for the pin to tie us up at 3. Striker is just on a higher level than Cole and King behind the mic.

There’s such a flow to him out there and he sounds completely comfortable. Ballin might be the most absurd move in wrestling since the People’s Elbow. IT’S A FREAKING ELBOW DROP!!! Thankfully Rhodes hits Cross Roads to put him out. That’s a major step for Legacy as having their own individual finishers sets them up for an eventual singles push. Think about all of the great teams that have split and all of them had singles moves to end matches with.

A Killswitch puts out Rhodes, and amazingly enough we’re down to a two on two match with the four biggest stars in this thing. Who would have seen that coming? From out of almost nowhere, Christian hits a Killswitch on Orton but Punk makes a save. Orton is up in about 15 seconds and Christian walks into an RKO to make it 2-1 with Punk and Orton against Kofi.

Punk gets him up for the GTS but because he kicks him feet he gets out. That’s all anyone has to do to get out of a move like that. The magical feet kicking knows no bounds. Orton hasn’t been in at all since it’s been one on one. Orton has an awesome silhouette. He just looks awesome standing there. If nothing else we’re getting a good Kofi vs. Punk match. I love what they’ve been doing with Kofi.

Instead of the way they built up Hardy who kept getting closer and closer but didn’t actually win, they’re having Kofi just rise up and start beating everyone he faces. I like that as it’s a different style to the push and it’s working very well. He catches Punk in a rollup and gets him. Orton walks in and almost immediately the Trouble In Paradise ends this. Kofi’s skyrocket push continues.

Rating: B+. Again, this was a very well done match. They knew what they were doing and it showed. They got rid of the six guys that meant nothing and got it down to what mattered. This match was designed to make Kofi look great again and they did just that. He pinned two men that within the last two months had been world champions completely clean. That’s a huge boost to Kofi and puts even more heat on Kofi vs. Orton. I loved this and it came off very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

I’m really not big at all on the idea of having more or less the same match on both brands for the title, especially triple threats. Granted I don’t like triple threats anyway as it’s all about a gimmick that’s been done so many freaking times that it has lost any and all kinds of credibility it once may have had but again that’s neither here nor there.

Not to mention everything in this match turns into yet another formula match, which is one guy goes down and we have a one on one match, then repeat that with a different order of people. Naturally I could have written double this in the time Taker’s entrance takes. Yeah he’s still coming. I had a nice bowl of soup during his entrance.

It ticked me off that I was out of soup and had to get dressed and go to the store and get some soup and then come home and make it but at least I didn’t miss any of the match since Taker was 90% done with his entrance when I got back. Naturally, the match goes the formula direction for the majority of it. I’m not sold at all on splitting Show and Jericho already. They more or less are the tag division at this point, but granted last night on Raw they were announced to be fighting DX at TLC for the belts.

Again, I don’t like this as it’s two guys that won’t be together in 3 months because THEY ARE NOT A TAG TEAM. They’re singles guys with nothing else to do so let’s just throw them together again. They’re just kind of going through the motions here with near falls being broken up by the third guy every time.

That’s fine as it builds some drama, but at the same time it really doesn’t do much at all. It’s repetitive, which is never a good thing in a match. It’s not a bad match, but it’s not that interesting at all. Finally Jericho takes a shot to the head and Show goes into Hell’s Gate for the tap. Not wild on the ending but whatever.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. Granted that might be because Show was in it and he just can’t do anything most of the time. What the heck happened to him? In WCW he was the MAN. Anyway, this wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Taker was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it?

Josh Matthews, who should be thankful for having a job given that he’s completely worthless, is with the survivors of Team Miz who say they’re all great.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

McCool, Jillian, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Layla
Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly, Eve, Melina

How sad is it that I have no clue what show most of these girls are on? So Melina is champion yet Mickie is the captain. I hate these matches as all of four people care and it’s a T&A match. Yeah the girls look good, but that’s all there is to it. The matches are the same every year and next to nothing ever changes. Why are these girls feuding? No reason, other than some are faces and some are heels.

I am bored out of my mind with this match. Why am I supposed to care about any of these women? Kelly eliminates Layla to absolutely no reaction. McCool apparently disrespects AJ Styles by using his finishing move, despite AJ being known for all his other stuff more than that. That was so overblown it was ridiculous. Eve is just worthless in the ring and it’s pitiful. The thing is, she looks good in shorts and a tight top so she’s told she can wrestle.

She puts out Jillian as still no one really cares. Beth puts Eve out in a few seconds to get us down to 3-3. Kelly goes out despite her face never hitting the mat. Mickie and Beth botch a crucifix but it gets three anyway. We have Mickie and Melina vs. Alicia and McCool.

Alicia goes out due to a high level of suck so we’re down to 2-1 as McCool tries so hard to get people to care about her or accept her as anything but the vagina Taker gets off in. That’s an image I didn’t want. Finally after far too long of a match Melina beats McCool to end this mess.

Rating: D. This was, as usual, a waste of time. The wrestling is ok, but geez what is it going to take to get it through the heads of the writers that NO ONE CARES??? Seriously, when was the last time you saw the crowd into a Divas match for a reason other than what the girls looked like? The division is a joke and always will be a joke because there are no characters, there are no stories, and the champions are flavors of the month, except for a few here and there.

Mickie, the most talented one, is criticized for not being a stick but having some meat on her which makes her more realistic. That’s evil apparently, and again shows everything that’s wrong with the women in wrestling. Scratch that. Everything wrong with the division is better.

We recap Batista vs. Rey, despite the match already happening. It sets up Batista saying he’s not sorry.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. John Cena

DX has gotten some heat for coming out together, and I can understand that. It makes it look like they don’t care about being champion, which is the point of the stupid match and being a wrestler in the first place but whatever. In a great moment, Shawn kicks HHH a few seconds into the match. I love that. He just made up for coming out with HHH as he says screw this guy, I want the title. That’s awesome.

This however creates a good thing and a bad thing, as we have the usual greatness that is Cena vs. Shawn, but it also sends us straight into another formula of a match, which is the last thing we need here after what we had earlier. Anyway we hit the floor after some good stuff, and as Cena is going to FU Shawn through a table, HHH is back for the save. He makes up for earlier and hits a spinebuster through the table with Shawn.

And yep, it’s formula time as it’s HHH vs. Cena in the ring while Shawn recovers. And after more good stuff there, we get the DX somewhat decent combustion. It of course ends with Cena and the STF, but Shawn gets a crossface instead. This is another ok match that is just pure formula stuff. It’s just take two guys, have them fight for three minutes then replace one guy.

Shawn kicks both guys, but HHH falls on Cena while Shawn falls outside for no apparent reason. We do get the always fun let’s go Cena, Cena sucks chants. I love those. FU to HHH as we’re in pure finishers/counters only. The problem with having double main events like these is that it keeps one from being the real main event.

It makes this match seem like less of something because we did it just 25 minutes ago. Just to further emphasize my point of only finishers at the end, Shawn kicks HHH for the third time and Cena hits an FU on Shawn to slam him into HHH for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. This wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Cena was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it? In case that looks familiar to you, it’s because it’s word for word the same as I put about the Smackdown title match but with Cena instead of Taker and the Big Show part edited out.

That’s because more or less it was the same thing but with different people in it. That’s the problem with these matches and booking like this: it’s repetitive, which makes it very boring, at least to me. The wrestling was fine given who you had in there, but MAN was it predictable.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show and that’s primarily because of one thing: the booking MADE SENSE. There is not one thing here where you have to scratch your head and wonder what they heck they were thinking. Everything went as it should have and it worked out well. Feuds were advanced, the right guys went over, no big names lost credibility, and some feuds were ended. What more could you ask for?

The one thing that you could ask for was a more creative way to have the title matches. I hate matches where it’s just the same thing that it’s always been but with different people which is what the world title matches were here. It’s a good show, but it won’t blow you away by any means.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well we’re after the Turning Point PPV now and head towards Final Resolution which is likely going to see AJ vs. Roode II because AJ was injured in the previous match. Also because there really isn’t anyone else to face Roode at the moment. Other than that, expect more Bischoff vs. Bischoff stuff to bore the fans out of their minds. Impact has been good lately though so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the main event of Turning Point where Roode cheated to keep the title.

Here’s Roode to open the show. He says it’s a shame to think he was part of Fourtune. He was the star, he was the leader and he was the future of the company. Roode says he got rid of the two of them and here’s Storm. They’ve made him the real star of the company in this. Storm wants to know why Roode jumped him, which Roode denies. Storm doesn’t care so he charges but security stops him. He turns around to have AJ behind him and the beating is on. Security pulls them apart and are about as successful as they usually are.

Post break AJ rants some more and Roode says no rematch. The brawl starts up again and cue Sting. He makes a 30 minute iron man match for Final Resolution for the title.

After we hear Taz and Mike talk a bit, Roode goes after Dixie in the front row. AJ makes the save but Roode hits him in the back to knock Dixie down as well.

Joe comes up to Storm in the back and says it wasn’t Roode as he saw him the whole time. Joe says it wasn’t him either. They fight anyway since this is TNA where backstage brawls are required by law.

Sting goes after Roode post break, saying that was like putting Roode’s hands on Sting.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. D-Von

Pope is hitting on some blonde outside. D-Von takes over to start and runs him over with a clothesline. Some shoulders and a side slam put him down as well. D-Von throws him to the floor right in front of Pope. Pope slaps Robbie and is drilled by Terry for his efforts. D-Von’s kids go after Terry for no apparent reason and Eric Young comes down to pop Terry with a chair which does nothing. D-Von’s distraction lets Robbie roll him up at 2:00 to retain.

D-Von yells at his kids post match and they stay with Pope.

Sting talks to Garrett, praising him for his match last week. Garrett wants more of Gunner and Sting isn’t sure. Garrett leaves when Morgan and Crimson come up. They wind up with a tag title shot later in the show. Sting is worried about the lack of a tag division or something.

Eric and Flair rant about Garret when Sting comes up to them talk about the rewriting of Bischoff’s contract. However Eric doesn’t have a signed contract so it doesn’t mean jack. Sting makes Garrett vs. Gunner for later.

Kid Kash/Austin Aries vs. Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick

Kendrick has dark hair now. Jesse vs. Kash to start because we haven’t seen that enough yet. Cross body off the top gets two for Jesse. Aries won’t tag in and Kash gets rolled up for two by Kendrick. Aries comes in for about a second, ducks an enziguri and here’s Kash again. Hot tag to Jesse and he gets a northern lights for two. Aries walks out to make this a handicap match. Kash misses a moonsault and Sorensen hits a reverse Cross Rhodes (it ends in a DDT) for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: C-. I’m so over Kid Kash at this point that it’s not even funny. The guy is old, he’s fat, he can’t talk, and he’s not interesting. He’s never meant anything but he’s running his mouth about being a legend which no one even remembers. Nothing to see here as it’s the same stuff they’ve been doing for awhile.

Karen is her usual self and gives Gail the night off.

Anderson is playing a football game in the back when Storm comes up, wanting to know if Anderson had anything to do with it.

Gauntlet Match

There are ten chicks in it and the winner is #1 contender. Velvet vs. Rosita starts us off. I’ll only be giving the total time for this. Velvet is in blue which I highly approve of. Velvet hits a facebuster to end Rosita in about 4 seconds. Tessmacher is next and we have some good looking women in TNA. Brooke takes over and hits her Stinkface thing and takes her top off. A bulldog ends her a second later.

Fourth is Angelina who counters the facebuster into a rollup with tights to end it. I hate gauntlet matches because most of them are quick wins that are totally unrealistic by comparison to regular matches. Velvet kicks Mickie in the face on her way to the ring and we take a break. Back with Love hammering on Mickie which doesn’t last long as Mickie kicks her head off for a quick pin.

Off to Sarita in 6th and this is UGLY. Sarita botches a springboard move, landing on Mickie’s head despite Mickie ducking. A sloppy jumping DDT (head didn’t hit) ends this a bit later. Tara is 7th and they hit the match. Tara throws on a heel hook and then the standing moonsault for two. Another somewhat bad jumping DDT gets us to Winter who is still gorgeous. A bridging suplex gets two as Mickie is getting tired.

Mickie escapes a fireman’s carry and hits a SICK kick to Winter’s head for the elimination. ODB is in at 9 and is A LOT slimmer. She even had abs. A fallaway slam sets up a nipup and a Bronco Buster. She’s in camo pants now which works a lot better for her than the long shirt she usually wears. Top rope Thesz Press gets rid of ODB and Madison is last. ODB drills Mickie before leaving and hits a TKO (love that move). Madison walks around forever and Mickie rolls her up for a surprise pin at 15:02.

Rating: D. I hate these matches. The 9 eliminations took WAY too short an amount of time and it’s unrealistic even from a wrestling perspective. Nothing to see here although the girls looked hot and it’s amazing how much better/in depth the Knockouts are than the Divas at this point.

Ray is talking to some ugly chick (joke from Turning Point I think) when Storm comes up. He says take a free shot because he thinks Ray was involved. Ray says no but he knows who it was and that person is here. He offers Storm a spot in Immortal and Storm turns him down flat.

Garrett says he hopes Gunner underestimates him again tonight.

Here’s Hardy and we get a quick shot from Turning Point where he beat Jarrett three times in a row. He says thanks to the fans and promises to always be there for them. His sights are shifting to the world title and that brings out Karen. She says someone with some balls needs to put Hardy in his place. She has the biggest set here and says Hardy needs to do more than just have sad eyes.

What he did at Turning Point wasn’t being a man and Hardy needs to be one. She calls Hardy disrespectful and talks about Hardy’s wife Beth. Karen pretended to be Beth’s friend and performance problems are implied. She tries to get Jeff to hit her and says he didn’t beat Jarrett fairly. Karen goes to slap him but Jeff blocks it. Here’s Jeff Jarrett with the AAA belt but Hardy sees it coming. Karen tries a low blow but Hardy grabs it and the brawl is on.

Flair and Bischoff give Gunner a pep talk, saying destroy Garrett tonight.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Crimson vs. Anarquia starts us off and the chicks distract Red Boy so Hernandez can clothesline him down. LAX beats on Crimson who can’t get anything going in the first three minutes or so. A shoulder/spear takes down SuperMex and it’s a double tag for Morgan and Anarquia. Morgan throws everyone around and chokeslams Anarquia for two. Exploder suplex and the Carbon Footprint give us new champions at 5:21.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the titles need a shot in the arm at this point. Maybe this is it and that’s perfectly fine. I hope this goes somewhere different than Morgan and Hernandez went to as that did no one any favors. Too short to mean much but this could have been a lot worse. At least Mexican America and their dead end gimmick is over.

Storm thinks he knows who the attacker is.

Garrett Bischoff vs. Gunner

Sting, Eric and Flair are in corners. Garrett has his own song now. He uses basic stuff to start and it’s off to Gunner in control because he’s, you know, not a referee. A charge of his hits the post but Eric grabs Garrett’s foot and Gunner takes over again. A spear in the corner has Garrett in trouble but you know the fluke pin is coming. And there it is as Garrett counters a suplex into a DDT for the clean pin at 3:56.

Rating: F. The match sucked, but maybe that’s because HE IS A REFEREE. I know he’s Bischoff’s son, and that’s what’s wrong with this story: the guy has no reason to be in the ring but he’s there anyway because he’s Eric Bischoff’s son and is getting 3-4 segments a show and going over people like Gunner instead of people like Alex Shelley or someone else going over him. That’s why this angle doesn’t work.

Here’s Storm for the big finish. He says he’s being passed over because he’s too southern and that’s not right. Storm calls out AJ of all people and Styles is a little banged up still. AJ: “Are you kidding me?” AJ doesn’t think that makes sense because he’s been the one behind Storm the entire time. Storm points out that ever since Storm has been on the shelf, AJ has gotten two shots at Roode. Styles says Sting made those decisions and denies being the attacker.

They’re about to fight when Kaz comes out to break them up. Kaz gets AJ out of the ring and Angle comes in from under the ring for the beatdown. We have an attacker.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty decent show tonight where the wrestling matches don’t add up to the final grade of the show. A good amount of stuff happened here with new champions and a new main event level feud starting up. I’m ok with Angle being the guy but it can’t end with Angle going over Storm. They’ve made a new star in the Cowboy and they need to keep him strong. Beating Angle in a feud would be a great way to do that, but Angle going over would completely miss the point. Decent show tonight though.

Results
Robbie E b. D-Von – Rollup
Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash/Austin Aries – Spinning DDT to Kash
Mickie James won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne
Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Mexican America – Carbon Footprint to Anarquia
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner – DDT

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 18, 1998
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 11,528
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Over the Edge which is on the 31st of May. Until then, it’s more Austin vs. Vince craziness. Tonight it’s going to be the Rattlesnake vs. the Stooges in what I’m sure will be an athletically based contest. Val Venis finally debuts tonight and we’ll probably build up a lot more for the PPV as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Vince stacked the deck against Austin which sets up the awesome match at the PPV.

Vince and the Stooges open us up. According to Vince, Austin has a concussion which JR disputes. If Austin tries anything, he’ll get hurt even worse. For Austin’s protection, he’s barred from the arena tonight. We see a video of Austin arriving and a guy stopping him. The guy sounds scared to death. Austin says he’s going to have some beers and the guy has five minutes to decide about the easy way or the hard way.

Here’s Dude who says that as Austin’s title reign is dying, the Dude is becoming stronger. Insert your own Lebowski joke here. That movie had already come out so I wonder if that’s why Vince picked the name Dude. I can’t imagine Vince has seen that movie to this day so we’ll go with no there. Dude says all of their dreams will come true on the 31st.

Vince calls out Dustin Runnels, (Goldust) and yells at him for blaming Vince for all of his problems. Vince says he gave Dustin Goldust and Dustin threw it away. Dude vs. Dustin (who recently had knee surgery) is made and the #1 contender spot is up for grabs. If Dustin loses, he has to work for free for thirty days. Dustin says ok and clocks Dude, getting him a 3-1 beating.

Jerry Lawler gets here with someone under a sheet. He tells whoever it is to mingle but the person can’t see. Jerry says it’s a security precaution and the security guard from earlier says it’s ok.

Scorpio vs. Val Venis

This is Val’s debut. The first thing said about Venis is from Cole: “Here he comes!” These jokes write themselves. Nothing special to start us off as they trade wristlocks. Val takes over with some clotheslines and a powerslam. Scorpio comes back with a sunset flip and what we would call Trouble in Paradise. Val goes up for a middle rope splash but jumps (mostly) into a boot. Trouble in Paradise hits again and the Tumbleweed gets two. The Canadian (Val) gets a German on the American for two. Scorpio slams him but the moonsault misses, setting up the Money Shot to end this.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t that good as it ran too long for a debut. Venis shows he’s resilient but he needed more than that in his debut match. The top rope splash was always cool to see, but Val was in too much trouble here for his debut. Also he looked a little out of sync in there and the match dragged about two minutes too long. Not horrible, but it’s a debut so you have to cut him some slack.

Austin goes up to the security guard again and says the guy has picked the hard way. Pain ensues. Then we get the kind of thing that makes characters great. Austin grabs the guy’s walkie talkie and says that we have a situation here and that he’s coming for Vince. Little things like those made Austin unique because we get a bit of comedy in there with it, just to add his own signature to it. Little things like that add up and helped make Austin the legend that he is.

Here’s Austin in the arena and he says he’s getting a little madder about all of the strings Vince is pulling every day. He calls out Vince and the Stooges to settle this right now. Either get out here or he’ll start breaking expensive stuff. Austin wants to fight them all and Vince panics. Austin wants a street fight and Patterson says sure because Austin said he sucks, which he absolutely does not! Oh there are a million jokes there. Briscoe wants in on this too. Vince says Austin will get two of the three, but he won’t say which two. Is this supposed to be a secret?

Edge is coming.

The make-up lady is trying to help the person under King’s sheet. I think I know who it is.

Here’s Sable who asks Marc Mero to come out here. She offers him an amicable split and Mero chuckles. He has a contract that she signed and says she’s his property.

Marc Mero vs. Terry Funk

Mero jumps him coming in and they start in a brawl on the floor. Yeah brawl with Terry Funk. This COULDN’T go bad. Back in and Terry takes over with a piledriver for two. Mero pounds away as JR makes some not very veiled references to WCW and their Seniors’ Tour. Funk shoves the referee and suplexes Mero but with the referee down Marc hits him low for two. TKO puts Funk down but Sable is on the apron. Terry no sells the TKO and hits a DDT for the pin.

Rating: C. Eh not bad but the point here was advancing Sable vs. Mero which they did here. This is what wrestling doesn’t have today: basic storylines like this with a match being thrown out there where this isn’t a shocking upset. Both of these guys have their own thing going on and we didn’t have to have a big video about it. We were just told about it and I find that it works better that way.

Cops are here for Austin.

Legion of Doom vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Gah I hate this feud. No Sunny here who I think was gone for good now. It’s Chainz/Skull here so I don’t have to play guess which twin. Skull vs. Hawk to start. I don’t like Hawk having hair as it gets confusing. The DOA controls early on but Hawk hits a facejam on Skull to take over and he follows it with….my goodness an enziguri. Well not really as that means head kick and this was in the back but still, points for trying.

Off to Animal and everything breaks down. Animal powerbombs Skull for one as this is falling apart quickly. Hawk hits a middle rope splash for two as the tagging is being forgotten. 8-Ball comes in through the crowd and rolls Animal up for the surprise pin. They would have a regular tag at the PPV. This was short and not very good, which I think was intentional to show that the LOD were getting up there in years and couldn’t hang with these younger guys.

LOD demands a 6-man next week. That would be Droz’s debut.

Steve Austin will be on Celebrity Deathmatch.

Paul Bearer and Kane were at a medical facility earlier for a DNA test. Kane in street clothes with a hood over his head is a different look for him.

Here’s King with his bodyguard. And it’s Al Snow. I was right earlier.

Dude Love vs. Dustin Rhodes

30 days pay vs. #1 contendership here. Dustin hammers away and this is just Dustin Rhodes. He has a big FU painted on his shirt while Love was in a sportscoat. Out to the floor and Dustin goes into the steps. Austin is watching in the back. Dustin hits the bulldog to booing but walks into the Mandible Claw to end this. This was nothing.

The cops arrest Austin. After a break Vince comes in to run his mouth and provoke Austin some more.

Headbangers vs. Kai En Tai

This is supposed to be 2-2 but it’s a 3-2 attack in the aisle. The team is Dick Togo and Men’s Teioh. We get down to a regular match as Snow is in the audience now, demanding his meeting with Vince. The heels cheat a lot because that’s what heels do. Back in the ring Teioh hits Thrasher low and Togo hits what we would call a Whisper in the Wind to put Thrasher down again.

Thrasher finally blocks a superplex or a super rana to take over. And never mind that as Teioh interferes to knock him off the top. The heels cheat even more as Funaki comes in to beat on Mosh. Bradshaw and Taka come in for the save from the big beatdown and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. Eh whatever here. Kai En Tai wouldn’t go anywhere until Taka turned heel and joined them but it’s not like this ever amounted to anything. Pretty weak match overall and the ending didn’t help as that’s how the vast majority of these matches ended: in a relatively predictable DQ.

Austin is put into the police car.

More of Bearer and Kane getting their DNA test.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Owen Hart/Rocky Maivia

DX does their schtick before the match. It’s a big brawl once the Nation gets here with no one in the ring at all. After a break we’re finally ready to go with Rock vs. Road Dogg. Billy protests something and Rock kicks Roadie low. There’s the People’s Elbow which has a name now. We hear about how great Owen is and now it’s time for Billy to get beaten up. Back to Roadie after about 2 seconds as Rock hits a Samoan Drop and Owen adds a top rope elbow for no cover.

Instead of trying for the pin, he wants to bite Dogg’s ear. Well sure why not. Rock Bottom gets two and everything breaks down. Rock is yelling at Chyna when Faarooq runs down and plants him with a piledriver. Road Dogg reaches over to steal a pin and get what would be the biggest fall of his career if he knew what was coming.

Rating: C-. Eh it set up the PPV match with Farrooq vs. Rock and continued the summer long feud between the two groups. The match wasn’t the point here and there’s nothing wrong with that in this case. It was going to set up Rock vs. HHH at the end of the summer and this is one of those side steps to get us there.

The cops haven’t taken Austin away yet. After a break the cops let Austin go after he apologizes to the guard.

Kevin Kelly is in the ring with a doctor who says Paul is Kane’s father. There go the lights and here’s Kane. Bearer calls Taker’s mother a two bit w**** and Taker is there in about 4 seconds. Kane takes a chokeslam but Taker goes after Bearer too much and Kane beats him down. Vader, Kane’s opponent on Sunday, comes down to beat on Kane as Taker chases Bearer off. Vader stands tall as Kane bails.

Gerald Brisco/Pat Patterson vs. Steve Austin

Commissioner Slaughter is guest referee. He pops Austin on the way in and it’s a beatdown. This is a street fight also. Patterson hits him with a foreign object of some kind for two and Austin is all fired up. Stunners for the Stooges as well as Slaughter so I think we’ll say this is thrown out. Dude runs out and gets a beating also. A “fan” jumps the railing and pops Austin with a chair but it’s Vince in an Austin mask. Austin is left on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was energetic enough and the one major angle was well pushed, but it was the main focus of the show which gets a little tiring. This is more of a miss than a hit which is rare in these days. We need to get to the PPV soon because the story and scenario is all set up. Not a terrible show but it was kind of hard to get through.

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