Tribute to the Troops 2011
Date: December 13, 2011
Location: Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the show that is now a tradition and is still pretty awesome. We’re still stateside for this and it’s probably a lot easier that way. The matches here don’t mean anything and that’s fine. This is about the people in the audience and that’s fine. This was taped Sunday night so don’t expect any references to last night. Let’s get to it.

We’re in an arena this year.

The President gives his usual message about this show.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Pretty big match to start things off with. Orton takes over to start and we get a Slammys reference. Maybe the commentary was recorded later? Barrett pounds him down to take over and a big boot puts Randy on the apron and gets two back in the ring. Pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett goes up and Orton gets in a set of punches and a superplex for two. Here’s the comeback and it starts with the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered and they go to the outside. The DDT on the floor is countered and they brawl to a double countout at 5:57.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be a lot lighter on the ratings tonight because the winning and losing isn’t the point. This is about the fans having a good time and they couldn’t have one guy go over cleanly here. They didn’t have a lot of options so there’s nothing wrong with what they did here. Decent match too.

Barrett beats Orton up post match and loads up a table. Orton gets in a dropkick and sets up the table. Otunga of all people runs out for the save and he beats on Randy for a bit. There’s an RKO for him and he goes through the table via a big powerbomb.

Nicole Kidman loves the troops. My goodness she’s beautiful.

Jake Gyllenhall loves the troops.

Barrett says he has the psychological advantage over Orton. The only voice Orton will hear is a table breaking in half.

Nickelback performs Burn it the the Ground. Awesome song live.

A group of superstars jump out of a plane, which is what the specialty unit at Fort Bragg does.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder brings out Sgt. Slaughter to counteract Ziggler. Ryder hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Swagger comes back with a powerslam for two but Zack pops off some punches. This isn’t going to last long. There’s the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. Ryder is sent to the floor and Ziggler gets in a shot. Slaughter hits the Slaughter Cannon to put him over the announce table. Swagger beats down Sarge and steals the Ryder headband he was wearing. Back inside the Vader Bomb misses and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:45.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Slaughter being brought in was the right idea. He’s a character that it’s impossible to not like a little bit and for a patriotic show, you really can’t go wrong with him. This was short and there’s not much wrong with that. Although I’d question an AMERICAN character being a heel here.

Slaughter puts on the Cobra Clutch post match.

Hugh Jackman loves the troops.

The Bellas visit West Point.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Muppets love the troops and show more personality than other celebrities combined.

Celine Dion loves the troops.

George Wallace, a comedian, does a brief routine.

Video on Nash vs. HHH.

Booker joins in on commentary.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan’s ribs are still taped. Rhodes goes straight for them, dropping the ribs onto the corner and taking over quickly. Off to a surfboard and Rhodes stomps him down in the corner. The commentary is all about Booker and Cole, which is a bit more understandable due to Booker facing Rhodes on Sunday. A clothesline puts Cody on the floor but Bryan jumps into a kick to the ribs. Booker checks on Bryan and pops Cody in the jaw, allowing Bryan to get a rollup in the ring for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Intense match while it lasted and it sets up Booker vs. Cody even better for Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that match which really surprises me. I don’t think Booker will win the title but it should be an entertaining match at least as Booker is almost always watchable. This was just for the ending and that’s fine.

Booker beats on Cody a bit post match and there’s a Spinarooni

Carson Daly loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs.

Air Boom runs into Miss USA and does the Boom Boom Boom.

Robin Williams loves the troops.

The Dancing with the Stars winner, a veteran, says the troops are cool. He judges some of the wrestlers dancing. They’re videos of guys in the past and Eve gets the high score despite having nothing on Layla. Granted she didn’t have a video in this.

Hornswoggle does the announcing for this.

Air Boom vs. Primo/Epico

Rosa is with the non-champions and she’s still gorgeous. Kofi vs. Epico to get us started. Epico and Primo are real life cousins. Off to Bourne very quickly and he does his usual high flying stuff to fire the crowd up. Epico takes over and works on the back of Kofi but there’s a tag to Bourne who comes in with a rana. Everything breaks down and a Backstabber by Epico ends Bourne at 2:59. I guess there are your next champions.

Matthew McConaughey loves the troops.

Nickelback performs again. This time it’s a new song called When We Stand Together.

Christina Aguliera loves the troops.

Here’s Christian looking like he fell out of a building. He’s in agony but is here to celebrate the Canadian Army. Cue Sheamus to glare at him.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew actually comes out second and gets a full entrance. Sheamus beats him up but can’t get the Celtic Cross. Drew gets in a few shots but Sheamus remembers he’s Sheamus and he’s fighting Drew McIntyre so he takes Drew down and a Brogue Kick ends this at 2:15.

Jimmy Fallon loves the troops.

Regis Philbin loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs again.

Bradley Cooper loves the troops.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show

Punk vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena who gets a bit reaction. He and Punk do some nice double team stuff and Punk messes up a bit and covers Miz at the same time Cena does. I think he legit forgot he wasn’t legal. Not a big deal but kind of funny. Off to Show who hits one of the hardest sounding chops I’ve ever heard. Del Rio comes in very slowly. Henry comes in about four seconds later and here’s the big showdown.

Henry gets the better of it and slams Show for two. The heels take turns beating on Show and Henry comes back in for a bearhug. Show fights out of it and hits a superkick. Double clothesline and both guys are down. Off to Miz vs. Punk with the champion taking over. Punk and Show do the Snuka/Andre move for the elbow to set up the Anaconda Vice but Del Rio comes in for the save.

Punk fights off Henry and here’s your real hot tag to Cena. He hits the suplex on Henry and I guess it must be the camo that makes no one able to see him. Everything breaks down and we get the usual ending to this show where all of the faces hit their finishers for the pin, with Cena hitting the AA on Henry to officially end it at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is the standard finish for this show and that’s just fine. This is about giving the troops something cool to end things and they did that just fine. Cena, the military themed guy, ending things with a huge power move is perfectly acceptable. This was about exactly what you would have expected and that’s all it needed to be. Fine ending.

Cena thanks the roster (which is all on the stage) and all of the troops for what they do. Nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C+. I didn’t get into this one as much as I have in previous years. It just didn’t feel the same as it does when it’s outdoors. This felt more like a big commercial for TLC, which is understandable, but it didn’t quite click like most of the shows usually do. Still though, it’s fine for what it was and it’s not supposed to be anything serious. Not bad, but they’ve done it better.

Results
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix – Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre – Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry – AA to Henry

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2001
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 12,477
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Tonight we keep going with the King of the Ring build and more of Austin vs. the Canadians. I think I vaguely remember this show but I’m not sure. There’s one major thing that happens tonight which is the start of something big and you’ll know what I’m talking about when we get there. The card looks decent so let’s get to it.

We get a video from Smackdown where Benoit and Jericho defended their titles in a TLC match, which I’ve actually reviewed. Here’s the Smackdown if you’re interested:

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?p=3422809#post3422809

It’s a shame we didn’t have the title change here in Calgary. Can you imagine the pop for that?

A courier sent JR a letter earlier today saying Undertaker’s wife would be here tonight. It wasn’t signed. And so it begins. That’s not the big thing I was referencing earlier either.

Here’s Vince to open things up. He doesn’t like being in Calgary and they don’t seem too happy to see him either. Vince talks about how in Canada, French and English can get along and that amazes him. Some people even feel proud to say they’re Canadian. Think that pops the audience much? Vince thinks maybe Canadians are happy to have brought Americans hockey, strong beer, or the word “eh”. However, Americans should never go to Canada.

Cue Jericho….and his mic doesn’t work. Vince: “That must have been a Canadian microphone.” Jericho gets right to the point: he wants Austin for the title and he wants him tonight. Vince declines so Jericho accuses him of wearing a toupee. He brings up Vince being a genetic jackhammer and says that Vince has made two sl***: Stephanie, and his new one: Austin. Vince also is a great singer, and with that we get the always awesome Stand Back video. Vince is ticked so he gives Jericho his title shot. Just not against Austin. It’s against Big Show for the Hardcore Title.

Cue Benoit who says he can’t just “STAND BACK” and let Jericho have all the fun. Benoit says that he should get the match with Austin. He even has more footage from Stand Back night, this part focusing more on Vince’s dancing abilities. Benoit gets to face Rhyno. Whoever is more impressive in their individual matches gets Austin for the title. Somehow this segment took twenty minutes.

Stu Hart (looking like he had no idea where he is) and his family are here.

Hardy Boys vs. Justin Credible/X-Pac

Justin vs. Jeff starts us off and it’s off to their partners a few seconds in. Matt gets crotched on the post and Lita’s evening is ruined according to Heyman. Bronco Buster to Matt. Oh and Eddie is here with the Hardys. When the referee isn’t looking, Lita crotches Pac on the post as payback for her unattended vagina that night. Hot tag brings in Jeff and he cleans house. Eddie breaks up a double superkick, allowing the Hardys to hit their finishers on Pac for the pin.

Rating: C-. Really quick match here but they didn’t get boring or anything. Eddie would be gone after Smackdown due to rehab and so we never found out where this was going. I’d asssume it would be to an eventual Eddie heel turn, possibly with Lita, but there’s no way to really know. Decent match though.

Eddie saves Matt from Albert post match.

Trish and Terri fight over a mirror.

Tajiri is cleaning Regal’s office when Albert comes in and demands a match with Eddie. Regal says ok.

Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Rhyno goes for the bad ribs immediately, hurting Benoit with a gorilla press drop. Benoit snaps off the rolling Germans and the Crossface but Rhyno grabs the rope. The Gore hits but Benoit rolls to the floor. Benoit fight back and hits the Rolling Germans again but opts for some chops instead of covering. A superplex puts the man beast down for two. The Gore is countered into the Crossface for the tap. This was short but intense. Not enough to rate though.

We recap the Blackman/Trish/Grandmaster thing. Sexay thinks shenanigans of a sexual nature were afoot.

Steve Blackman/Trish Stratus vs. Perry Saturn/Terri

At least the girls look good. Saturn is loopy and Terri is in a skin colored bikini. Nice to see she’s taking this seriously. The men start us off and Saturn hammers him down. The girls come in to wake the crowd up a bit and Trish is just not that good yet. The guys come in again and Blackman dominates. Terri interferes and gets spanked. Catfight time and here’s your major moment: Lance Storm runs in and superkicks Saturn so Blackman can get the pin.

And that was the start of the Invasion.

The match was junk and too short to rate again. It sucked, although the girls looked good.

During the break, Storm ran out of the building, celebrated with Shane, and left in a limo. Paul: “It’s just begun.”

Vince FREAKS on security in the back.

Al Snow is at WWF New York. He talks about his new show: Tough Enough.

Spike and Molly are all lovey dovey in the back. I see why these two never talked. Spike is about to kiss her when Angle comes in. He says it’ll be a mistake and offers them a lesson in the birds of the bees. Spike protests and smacks Angle. Just guess how well that goes for Spike. Molly goes looking for the Dudleys to help Spike but they just happen to run out in front of the Hollies, who beat down the Dudleys. See how simply a story and feud can be made?

After a break the Dudleys are yelling at Spike. Molly is going through a table.

Hardcore Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Lillian says Jericho is also the IC Champion, which is completely wrong. Jericho lost that title almost two months before this. He runs past Show and gets in the ring first, hitting a baseball slide to take over. A chair shot doesn’t work as Show knocks it away. Remember he’s still banged up from TLC. Show take over with the power game and throws around various metal object.

Jericho manages to dropkick a chair into Show’s knee but is then easily tossed head first into a trashcan. Total dominance so far. Show misses a legdrop onto a trashcan and Jericho gets in a few shots which don’t get him anywhere. Show puts him on the middle rope and picks up the steps. Jericho manages to fire off a dropkick into the steel to knock them into Show’s head and a fast Lionsault gives him his second title at the moment.

Rating: C. I don’t know why but I liked this. Jericho sold like a master and I can actually buy the ending because it puts Jericho over very strong. The finish was clean too, as Jericho didn’t cheat at all to win this, given the structure of the rules. Fun match and I have no idea why I liked it as much as I did, since there certainly isn’t much to it.

Jericho holds up both belts on the stage and turns around into a Gore by Rhyno to give him the Hardcore Title.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Albert

Dig that X-Factor theme. That’s the only good thing they had going for them. Eddie pounds away as fast as he can but Albert catches him and starts using the power. BIG gorilla press puts Eddie down. Eddie gets in a dropkick to the knee but his dive to the floor is caught and Albert rams him into the post. Eddie counters a powerbomb but Albert runs him over again. Lita comes running out as Eddie counters a Baldo Bomb into a rollup for the pin. Too short to rate but Eddie did his usual good stuff. No idea what Lita added to this.

Mick Foley was on the Today Show about his new book which is also a New York Times #1 bestseller. Can you imagine a wrestler today writing a book and having it go to #1 on the New York Times bestseller list? Foley did it TWICE.

We get the first of the Stalking Sara videos where someone is filming Undertaker’s pretty blonde wife at her house. The reveal would be awesome at the time and then would totally fall flat on its face.

The Hollies talk about the tables match and Molly begs to keep Spike from going through the table.

The Canadian Chrises talk about getting the title match tonight when Vince comes in. Both of them have impressed him and they’ve both earned a title shot at Stone Cole. Austin wants to fight them both at the same time but Vince isn’t letting that happen. Benoit gets the shot. Post show Vince wants to know where the Stand Back footage came from. Jericho gives him a pep talk. He wants the first shot and Benoit has no problem with that.

Tajiri broke something in Regal’s office but Vince comes in before he can get fired. Tajiri bows a lot and Vince doesn’t get it. Regal sends Tajiri off to get some coffee for Vince. “Bloody foreigners.” Vince says Austin has a brilliant idea for the main event and tells Regal to make sure to watch, but he won’t say what it is.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollys

This is a tables match. Just the four people in this one so no Spike or Molly, but they’re at ringside. I think you only have to put one person through a table to win. The Hollys take over to start and Crash brings in a table. Bubba prevents Hardcore from powerbombing D-Von through it and JR says he thinks Hardcore was attempting a powerbomb. Was it when he powerbombed D-Von that gave him away Jimbo?

The cousins try to throw Crash into Bubba through a table but instead Bubba moves and Crash just bounces off of it and lands on his head. FREAKING OW MAN!!! What’s Up Hardcore? It’s Table Time but Hardcore dropkicks them down. Not that it matters because there’s a 3D through the table for Hardcore and the win.

Rating: C-. Not bad but nothing to remember. I think this blew off their feud which was a fine little feud that was aired on TV. Why they don’t do more of that I’m not sure, but it was perfectly fine, it brought in some new blood to the tag division (which didn’t stay around but whatever) and it came to a logical conclusion. Now why can’t they do that more often?

The Dudleys try to put Molly through a table so Spike says put me through it instead. For some reason he thinks laying on the table is going to stop them, and I think you know what’s coming. Molly is powerbombed through Spike through the table. Molly keeps asking if Spike is ok as she goes out.

We talk about the semi-huge white elephant in the room: HHH isn’t here. We get a video of him in the office of Dr. James Andrews and him getting the diagnosis. It’ll be six weeks of crutches and then at least four months to heal before we even start rehabilitation. HHH talks about being put in the Walls of Jericho and then collapsing after the match ended. He knows he’ll be back and it was never if he would be back.

The next day was the surgery and I know the timing is bad but my goodness Stephanie is beautiful. This was a bad quad tear because the tear was under the first layer of muscle which made it hard to find. The repair was good though. JR says he’ll be out at least four months, which wound up being closer to seven.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit

I remember this match happening and I fell asleep before it ended so I’ve never seen this all the way through. For some reason Lillian doesn’t introduce them here. Instead the Fink does big match intros. I guess she got the night off for the screw up earlier? Benoit has taped up ribs. Fink’s voice is just perfect. There’s something right about him introducing the world title match.

Austin goes after the bad ribs immediately and Benoit tries for a home run Crossface. Remember we’re in Canada so everything Benoit does gets a big eruption. He chops away but Austin his the Thesz Press. Benoit grabs a Crossface and the place explodes. Austin finally gets a rope and they go to the floor. The challenger gets fired into the steps and we go back into the ring.

Benoit gets a Sharpshooter and it’s in the middle of the ring. The place goes nuts and Benoit pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Austin FINALLY gets a rope and the booing is great. Out to the floor and Austin suplexes Benoit onto the announce table which doesn’t break. There’s an abdominal stretch back in the ring. I think JR’s voice is about to go. Benoit gets it broken due to the referee seeing Austin cheating and here are some rolling Germans.

We go up and Chris looks for a superplex but Austin counters and slams him face first onto the mat. Austin’s superplex gets two. Austin tries a belt shot but Hebner takes it from him. Back in the ring we get a Stunner but Vince is arguing with Hebner. Benoit gets up and clocks Austin with the belt but the count is delayed so it’s only a two. This is REALLY good stuff. Another Stunner attempt is countered into the Crossface but Vince pulls the referee out. Hebner shoves Vince down but Austin gets the ropes again. And then in a HORRIBLE ending, Austin puts the Crossface on and Vince says ring the bell. Yep, they did that.

Rating: B+. Until the ending, this was excellent. I’d love to see these two get twenty five minutes in a PPV main event and let them let it all hang out, but I’ll have to settle for a 12 minute Raw main event instead. Great match which I was getting into 10 years later and knowing the ending. That should say a lot about how great it was.

Jericho comes out and puts Austin in the Walls while Vince is in the Crossface.

Overall Rating: B+. I really liked this show. A lot of stuff happened on it and we get a great main event on top of it. Plus you get the starts of the Stalker and Invasion, which are both pretty big deals. Unfortunately the Invasion would be one of the worst run angles in the history of wrestling if not the worst, so we kind of peaked early. More would come soon enough though. Great show.

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What do you think about this?

I’m not sure how to take this yet.  Kane is one of my favorites, but I’m really not sure what the point is in having him (seemingly) come back as a heel.  It’s too early to tell obviously but this could be kind of stupid.  It gives Cena something else to do until probably the Rumble, but after that I’m not sure.

As for the mask…..why?  He had his greatest run without it and his second best run with the original.  This one now is like the one he had in 02-03, when he had his worst results (no world title).  Also, WE KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.  There’s my mystery to it at this point.

As for the talk of Kane vs. Taker III at Mania…..no.  ANYTHING but that.

Your thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 1998
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s FINALLY the go home show for Over the Edge so I think you know what the focus of tonight is going to be. Expect a lot of Nation vs. DX and a lot of Austin vs. McMahon/Love. The match at the PPV is a classic so I hope the show leading up to it can be as good. This isn’t a live show which means very little for the sake of this but I need to fill in more space. Let’s get to it.

Here are Vince, the Stooges, and cops to open the show. We recap last week with the Stooges and Vince (dressed in a costume) beat down Austin to let Foley get the real beating in. However that’s going to pale in comparison to what happens on Sunday. He says that he got away with assault last Monday. Vince runs down the stipulations of the match and what everyone is going to be doing. Cue Austin and the eruption that comes with him.

Austin curses a lot and tells the cops that he heard an admission of assault so cuff him. Somehow it actually works and Vince is taken away by the cops. The Stooges try to keep it from happening and Austin says that looks like obstruction of justice. That gets the Stooges cuffed as well and I can’t help but think that Patterson is a little aroused by this. Austin pulls out a beer and pours it over Vince as he’s taken away.

Legion of Doom vs. Disciples of Apocolypse

It’s a six man here with the debut of Droz. His name is Puke here but screw that. He gets beaten down by Chainz on the floor. Well so much for that. Animal vs. let’s say Skull starts us off. Off to Droz who hits a clothesline and then gets beaten down again. He can throw a decent dropkick though. That’s enough for him I guess as he goes out quickly. Still better than Garrett Bischoff.

Hawk (who still doesn’t look right with hair) is beaten down in the corner after being in control for about 4 seconds. Well to be fair he was supposed to be drunk or high so it’s kind of excusable. Chainz and Hawk collide which lets Chainz get two. Can we have Hawk shoot up in the ring? It would be more entertaining than this. Off to Droz and everything breaks down. Droz hits a three point clothesline and a Batista Bomb on Chainz for the pin.

Rating: D. This feud was so boring and thankfully I think it ended very soon after this. I don’t think it was so much about the feud being over as much as Vince falling asleep from it. There’s no chemistry at all and the Warriors are just old here. Droz didn’t help things and his pill pusher character never went anywhere. Granted that could be because he was crippled.

Vince and the Stooges are led away in handcuffs. Austin talks more trash to them.

Dan Severn vs. Owen Hart

We get a video of Owen turning on Shamrock before this starts. Gee, I wonder what the ending of this is going to be. Severn is the NWA World Champion and that belt on Raw is still a bizarre sight to see. He takes Owen down very quickly and tries a cross armbreaker but Owen manages to avoid it. Severn chokes away and Owen starts throwing punches. The crowd really doesn’t care here. And then Owen kicks him low for….not a DQ? They go to the mat for a bit and Severn gets an armbar to draw in the Nation for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was nothing, partially because Severn really wasn’t an interesting wrestler at all. And people wonder why ROH gets eye rolls when they bring him in as a big deal. The match was just for the postmatch beatdown, but I really don’t get the point of this for the most part. It was pretty worthless for the most part though.

The Nation destroys Severn but they can’t quite Pillmanize his leg due to referee interference.

Austin was on Celebrity Deathmatch last week and will be again this week.

Vince is still in the squad car.

Edge is still coming.

Here’s the Jackyl who has with him Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf and Crackhead Bob from the Howard Stern Show. Hank had recently been voted the World’s Most Beautiful Person by People Matazine’s website so he curses about that a lot. Bob yells a lot. This is stupid if you couldn’t tell. Jackyl says we’re not done yet and brings out Luna, Golga (Earthquake) and Giant Silva.

Golga vs. Thrasher

If you don’t know what’s coming here, you’re beyond my help. Bob sits in on commentary while the dominance commences. Total squash of course that takes longer than it should. It ended with a powerslam if you’re interested. Silva beats up Most for fun. The referee too.

Vince is still in the car as Austin talks trash to him.

Vader vs. Jeff Jarrett

Austin has agreed to let Vince and company go if certain conditions are met. No word on what those are yet. Vader pounds Jarrett down and hits a splash but there’s no referee due to Tennessee Lee. Then he does it again. Jarrett goes after the knee as Vader goes after Lee. The fans cheer for Vader but they don’t know what they want to see right Vince? Jarrett works over the knee until Vader runs over him. I’ve always liked that. Vader hits a middle rope splash but Kane runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Better than the opener as the fans were into it, but still pretty dull. Jarrett was so freaking boring as the country singer guy and it was no exception here. He wuldn’t change characters until like July and it couldn’t have come soon enough. Vader still had it but they were already burying him, saying he wasn’t in top shape on commentary. The second run-in finish of the night isn’t helping things either.

Kane destroys Vader post match.

Vince is out of the car. Austin makes him apologize but Vince calls him the former champion. That’s not good enough so Vince has to do it again. Austin says Vince is a good kid and they all get unhancuffed.

Here are Vince and the Stooges after the second hour begins. No commercial though which makes this seem more realistic. Vince looking all messed up is a nice visual. He freaks out on Austin for treating him so badly and insists he DID NOT mean his apology. Austin made a condition that there had to be a WWF guy at the match Sunday to keep Vince in line. Vince is cool with that because no one on the roster can intimidate him. He makes Austin vs. Taker tonight.

DX was at an airport earlier. This is another of their “secret missions”. HHH had a speech but says Raw is too full of hot angles so they have to cut it short. HHH is going to be flying the plane and says it’s a very dangerous mission so he may never see them again. He gets in the wrong plane and that’s it. Ok then.

Al Snow jumps the guardrail and gets in the ring. Then he gets out of the ring and grabs Jerry, demanding his meeting with Vince. Security pulls him off.

Taka Michinoku vs. Dick Togo

Taka is Light Heavyweight Champion but this isn’t a title match because he’s not allowed to defend the title I guess. Also, Togo still has the best name EVER. There’s a spin wheel kick by Taka to send Togo to the floor and there’s his signature dive to the floor. Back in and another dive runs into a dropkick. Taka gets knocked into the railing and there’s a flip dive from the apron. Togo grabs a nerve hold for about a second and then hits a powerslam for two. Taka fights back but his tornado DDT is countered. A standing rana gets the pin for him though.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it was pretty uninteresting. This feud went on for awhile until they pulled the plug on Taka as champion and had him join Kai En Tai, putting the Light Heavyweight Title on this new guy named Christian who had a little bit better career I’d certainly think. Fun match, but it had nothing on what WCW was doing at the time and this division never did.

Post match the other Kai En Tai members come in and beat up Taka.

Back to the airport for more DX hijinks. Apparently HHH has flown off and they have no idea where he went. They all suggest they can fly after him but no one does. Rockabilly is mentioned.

Marc Mero vs. Farrooq

Sable forcibly rips the rope off Mero and he’s not happy about it. Mero starts off fast but gets caught in a powerslam. We go to the floor where Mero hides behind Sable. Mero stomps away again and Sable pops up on the apron. Mero tells her to get down and walks into a clothesline for the pin. This was just for the Sable/Mero stuff.

Mero freaks out on her post match and says that on Sunday, Sable can bring anyone she wants to meet him in a match. If they do, she’s free. If he wins, she’s gone forever. It would wind up being her vs. Mero with Sable losing. She’d be back in a few months.

Video on Pat Patterson and how awesome he is.

HHH is flying around (“I’m in the COCKpit!”) and says he’s flying around Nitro, writing messages in smoke for the WCW fans, such as DX Rules, WCW Sucks! Stupid but I’ve seen worse.

HHH vs. The Rock

This works. Non-title here. Before we get started though, Rock says the fans want to know how he feels about Viagara. However, since he doesn’t need it, he has no comment on it. He’ll also beat Farrooq on Sunday. As for HHH, DX is obsessed with their anatomies. Rock has something hard waiting for him: the Rock Bottom. After a break, here’s HHH and we’re ready to go.

Feeling out process to start and they’re more or less playing chess with each other. They trade headlocks and both guys go to the floor. Chyna interferes but is counteracted by Mark Henry. Back in the Rock takes over. Henry interferes, drawing Chyna up to the apron. The distraction allows a belt shot to HHH but Chyna makes the save and we take a break. Back with the People’s Elbow getting two.

HHH fights back with a clothesline and a crotch chop to Henry. Henry gets on the apron so Chyna pops Rock with a title as well. That was nice. HHH drops the knee (missed by four inches) for two. He stomps away but Rock hits a swinging neckbreaker to get two. Pedigree is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Henry stomps on HHH but Chyna pops him with a chair. HHH saves her and they fight on the floor to a double countout.

Rating: C-. Rock vs. HHH is one of those matches you always have to take a look at. This was nothing special but they would really heat things up over the summer, culminating in one of my all time favorites at Summerslam in their ladder match for the IC Title. The ending had to be that way because they were both champions, but you could see the chemistry out there.

HHH says bring it and Rock leaves. Farrooq pops up behind the future Great One and piledrives him on the stage.

Vince is going to be the guest referee for the main event.

Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker

Before Austin arrives, Taker chokeslams Vince. He loads up the Tombstone but here’s Kane. They slug it out and fight into the crowd. With Vince down here comes Austin. Stunner to both Stooges and he ties Vince up in the ropes. Austin grabs a chair and Vince is panicking. Here’s Dude Love with a chair of his own but Austin is ready for him and smacks his chair into Dude’s into Dude’s head. It’s so refreshing to see smart faces.

Overall Rating: C+. If there’s one thing Raw never did wrong at this point, it was the go home show. This set up the PPV perfectly with I believe everything outside of Jarrett vs. Blackman getting some time and I think we’re all thankful for that. Not much as far as wrestling goes but it’s 1998 so I don’t think anyone is surprised by that. Good stuff though and we got a classic main event out of Austin vs. Foley.

Here’s Over the Edge if you’re interested.

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?p=1111563#post1111563

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Final Resolution 2011
Date: December 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the final PPV of the year for TNA and the card has been built up pretty well on TV. In essence there’s a double main event with the Battle of the Jeffs and the Iron Man match for the title. There are a few matches that haven’t been built up at all but that’s bound to happen to a degree. The card looks pretty good though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is just what you would expect: a highlight package of the two main event feuds.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels

This is supposed to be “just a wrestling match” according to Daniels. They take turns with a headlock for awhile to fulfill the idea that it’s going to be all clean and nice. Rob kicks away and does his rolling leg cradle for two. They fight to the apron and Van Dam is sent intot he post chest first. This is one of those matches where time is passing but there isn’t much to talk about.

Since Van Dam’s ribs hit the post first, Daniels puts on a reverse waistlock. Van Dam makes his comeback and hits the standing moonsault for two. This is a really uninteresting match. Rolling Thunder gets two. He goes up but Daniels rolls out of the way and spears him down for two. Great, ANOTHER person using that move. A palm thrust gets two for Daniels. They go up top and Van Dam casually knocks him off and hits the Five Star for the pin at 11:40 (my stream is jumpy so the times are about as accurate as I can guess.)

Rating: C. This was really boring for the most part. There was no real heat to the match and they didn’t do anything significantly interesting. I’ve never been a fan of Daniels at all because he doesn’t get anything going for me at all with this being a great example. Still though, it’s him against someone not named AJ Styles so I can’t complain much.

The announcers run down the card.

Mickie says tonight it’s about wrestling, not politics in her match with Gail Kim. They’ll take it to the wall tonight.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Eric disrobes because it’s funny I guess. A Thesz Press puts Robbie down and we go to the floor. Young hits a nice dive but has to avoid a Big Rob shot, allowing the champ to take him down with a clothesline. Robbie takes over with his pretty dull stuff and hits a middle rope elbow after some fist pumping for two.

He hooks a chinlock to waste some time. Young makes his comeback but misses coming off the top. Eric puts him down again but Big Rob chokes him out for a few seconds. Robbie is sent into Big Rob’s crotch and Young tries a DVD on both of them. And never mind as a Codebreaker keeps the title on Robbie at 7:30.

Rating: D. Ho-freaking-hum. Horribly uninteresting match again here with nothing going on at all in it. To be fair though, this is one of those matches that suffered from the automatic rematch issue: since we’ve already seen a winner and a loser here, there’s no real interest in seeing them fight again. That being said, we’ll probably get this again because of Big Rob getting involved again. Nothing to see here and the first half hour of this show has been pretty awful.

Pope and D-Von say they’ll win. There’s no trouble at home says D-Von. Pope says it’s not his fault D-Von is a bad father and tonight it’s about the gold.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Crimson vs. Pope gets us going here with Crimson using his cravate with the knees to take over. Morgan comes in and he wants D-Von. That isn’t the best idea in the world as D-Von takes over with his usual stuff. Back to Red Man vs. Pope with the street preacher who never preaches taking over. STO gets two but he gets speared down quickly. An exploder suplex gets the same.

Morgan hits the fallaway slam for two as well as a side slam. Pope finally gets in a DDT to put both guys down and brings in D-Von off the not-hot tag. A neckbreaker and headbutt off the top get two on Crimson. Everything breaks down and there’s a spinebuster to Crimson. Top rope elbow from Pope gets two. A double chokeslam from the champions keep the titles on them at 9:33.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There’s no heat on any of these matches because their build has been horrible or non-existent. This D-Von vs. Pope stuff has been going on since June and it’s still not getting anywhere. That’s one of TNA’s problems: they take forever to get anywhere which is what’s going on with this. That and no one cares about D-Von in 2011 but that goes without saying.

AJ says his knee is fine and he’s ready to go tonight.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash

If Kash wins….I’ll probably just complain more than usual. Feeling out process so far with Aries showing off as only he can. Kash takes over and things get a little sloppy. He slaps Aries around a bit because he’s just not a nice person. Is Aries a face now? I don’t think he is but I’m not really sure. Is Kash one? I’m so confused by this company. Kash rolls Aries up and it looks awful. Back to the champ’s control but a jumping fist drop misses.

Out to the floor and Aries rolls him up, this time using two feet on the top rope to out do the one foot that Kash used earlier. Ok that was cute. Back to the floor again and Kash puts Aries down to take over again. Aries takes over right back and hits the best suicide dive in wrestling. Most people just slap the other guy’s chest anymore which isn’t that impressive. A gutbuster gets two for the champion.

There’s the Pendulum Elbow for two. Kash counters the brainbuster and knocks Aries down, then hits him again as he’s falling. Kash sets for what looks like a belly to back but slams him forward instead. The replay makes it look a lot more vicious. Moneymaker is broken up and Aries goes up, only to get crotched. Kash goes up for the same result but he manages to try a top rope powerbomb. Aries counters into Splash Mountain (not exactly Mysterio level but not bad).

They chop it out and Kash sets for the Moneymaker again. Aries counters with a basic stomp on the foot and then a backdrop. This has been better than I was expecting. Into the corner and Austin runs into a boot but the Moneymaker is countered again. Aries pulls out a foreign object which is taken away quickly. Now Kash has one too but it gets stolen. Aries hands him the title which gets taken away, allowing the brainbuster to keep the belt on the champ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. They started off badly but once they got down to doing basic stuff it got a lot better. Splash Mountain is one of those very cool moves and it worked very well here as it hasn’t been done in forever. The ending was creative too and it worked all around. Good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

They try to go to a video recap but it’s not there so let’s try that again. Ah ther eit is. Mickie is great, Gail is great, so let’s have a match about it. Karen keeps trying to hold Mickie back but it doesn’t really work.

The production mistakes continue as the video package plays again.

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Mickie James

Why does no one ever wear the Knockouts Title? I mean you NEVER see it around someone’s waist. They fight over a wristlock to start and then Mickie wins a brief slugout. Gail avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get a rollup out of said corner. Mickie’s victory roll is countered by having her face slammed into the mat. That looked great. Gail takes over and works on the back but her second backbreaker is countered into a nice headscissors by James.

Gail works her over some more but Mickie sends her to the floor where Gail’s leg hits the steps. That can’t feel good. Thesz Press off the top gets two but Mickie couldn’t cover properly because Mickie was still in a split. Jumping DDT is countered so Mickie settles for a dragon screw instead. Gail goes to the floor and tries to walk but she gets sent “into the post” instead. Her head pretty clearly didn’t hit but nice effort anyway. And then Madison comes out to hook Mickie’s foot so Eat Defeat can end this at 7:48.

Rating: C+. REALLY don’t like that ending as it just comes flying out of nowhere and it really didn’t work given how much they had been having the competitive match before that. Good girls match though which was a lot better than most of them have been lately. My goodness the Knockouts blow the Divas so far out of the water it’s not even funny anymore.

Storm says there’s always someone bigger and tougher than you are to knock you down. That’s his message to Angle, because tonight he’s getting his second win in a row over Kurt.

We recap Storm vs. Angle, which is about Angle jumping Storm in the back and injuring him. It’s so nice to see a feud that makes sense and follows the story.

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are all behind Storm. He’s gotten the push of a lifetime out of this. Storm tries to take it to the mat and that goes about as well as you could expect it to. They exchange some quick arm work and Storm grabs a headlock to take over. For someone that said he wasn’t coming here to wrestle Angle, he certainly looks like he’s wrestling Angle. Kurt hammers away in the corner to take over, which plays into the whole concussion story/real injury.

Out to the floor and Storm gets rammed into the barricade which might have hit his head again. Off to a chinlock but then Kurt just pounds away at the head. That always makes me a bit shaky, especially when Storm had a legit head injury recently. A suplex puts Storm down again and Storm looks out of it. Back to the chinlock and Storm’s head injury is being played up here.

He finally suplexes out of the hold though and both guys are down. Storm wins a slugout and hits the Codebreaker/Backstabber combo for two. Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly for two. Storm avoids the rolling Germans and it’s ankle lock time. I really can’t stand that as it comes out of nowhere and goes completely against the whole psychology of almost all of Kurt’s matches.

It doesn’t last long but James gets caught in the Rolling Germans this time. They’re slower than usual though. Just three in this set for a count of two. Angle Slam is countered into the Eye of the Storm for two. Storm goes up but gets caught in the (second attempt of) running belly to belly for two. The crowd isn’t as into this as they should be since it’s been pretty good.

Angle Slam is countered as is the Last Call, the latter into the ankle lock. Storm kicks out of that and Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post. Instead of pulling Kurt out, Storm channels his inner Apex Legend Killing Viper with an elevated DDT onto the apron. Somehow that only gets two back in the ring but Kurt snaps off an Angle Slam for two. Moonsault misses and the Last Call ends this clean at 17:54. Can’t say they didn’t put him over.

Rating: B. Solid match but for some reason the crowd wasn’t all that into it. The ending being clean is a very nice change of pace and it worked pretty well indeed. Now, if Storm wins the feud in the end, everything is right in Orlando. That’s kind of the key: Angle needs to put Storm over clean at the end of the day, and I’m not 100% certain that’s going to happen. Very good match though.

The Jarretts are nervous. Jeff is ticked because he’s been on the cruise for three days and now he hears about the stipulation Sting added despite being a company man. Sting pops up with the handcuffs.

We recap the battle of the Jeffs. Hardy came back and Jarrett complained because Hardy wasn’t a company man and dropped the ball and all that jazz. Jarrett lost to Hardy three times at Turning Point to set this up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

This is in a cage. Sting will be handcuffed to Karen on the floor. If Hardy wins, he gets the title match at Genesis and a Jarrett is fired. If Jarrett wins, Hardy is gone from TNA. I didn’t hear the opening bell so the time is going to be a little off. You can win by any means. Hardy takes over early and hits the basement dropkick for two. They keep stopping for some reason. Hardy goes for the escape but that gets him nowhere.

Jarrett goes into the cage a few times as Hardy is definitely in slow gear here. Twist of Fate is countered into the Figure Four just a few minutes into the match. It’s very frustrating to not be able to say Jeff in this. Hardy gets rammed hard into the cage and Jarrett goes for the climb but Hardy makes the save. Jarrett goes into the cage and Hardy hits something like a Lionsault for two. There wasn’t a running start but the camera angle wasn’t clear as to what he did.

They slug it out, won by Hardy. Twist of Fate hits but Jarrett is too far away for the Swanton. A second Twist sets up the top of the cage Swanton….which completely misses as Hardy crashes and burns. And people wonder why he’s addicted to drugs. There’s the Stroke and Jarrett calls for the door to be opened. Hardy makes a diving save and we keep going. How has this only been going eight minutes so far?

The referee goes down from something and Hardy is rammed into the cage which is rammed into Sting. Karen gets uncuffed and the door is rammed into Hardy’s head. That gets a VERY close two. Karen tries to send in a guitar but Sting makes the save. We also get the ultra rare barefaced Sting shot. The Twist of Fate ends this at 10:03. That seems really short.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid cage match but again, the length really hurt it. There wasn’t much of a beginning and the violence was pretty limited. Jarrett being the designated loser from the beginning of this match didn’t help anything either. Not a classic by any means but the Hardy Swanton spot was pretty cool looking, although not really needed.

Sting says someone is fired on Thursday.

Roode says the same stuff he’s been saying for weeks now.

We recap the title match which is just Roode turning heel and AJ being his first challenger. This is their rematch.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

This is a 30 minute Iron Man match and AJ has a bad knee coming in. Feeling out process to start as AJ is tentative because of the knee. They trade headlocks as we’re three minutes in. They’re pacing themselves though and that’s just fine. Thank goodness this is thirty minutes and not an hour because those matches are just dreadful to sit through. They go back and forth with headlocks and headscissors and AJ is currently in control.

They run the ropes and AJ’s limpp is getting more pronounced. Roode hits the floor for a break and we’re five minutes in. Back in and he hits some shoulders and chops in the corner. AJ gets sent to the floor and it turns into more of a brawl. Roode takes over back in the ring but AJ tries to speed things up and gets some rollups for two each. While he’s laying on his back, AJ nips up into a rana. That was cool.

Clothesline gets two for the challenger and we hit the chinlock. Roode fights up and hits a knee crusher…which doesn’t seem to slow AJ down that much. A second crusher sends AJ to the corner where Roode gets in a shot to the knee and a rollup with feet on the ropes for the first fall at 10:00 with 20:00 to go. Roode works over the leg for the next few minutes, which is perfectly smart strategy.

AJ tries that nip-up into the rana again but gets caught in a half crab. He finally makes the rope and the knee is in trouble. There’s a Figure Four which is still on at the 15:00 mark. AJ taps with 14:38 left and Taz says he should have done that earlier. A chop block puts AJ down again and Roode tries a Figure Four again, but AJ kicks him off, sending the champ’s shoulder into the buckle. He may have injured the shoulder on that.

AJ hits a flying armbar and then a Crossface makes Roode tap with 12:23 to go. Twelve minutes left. He hooks the arm but Roode countered into kind of a half crab but with Roode laying on the mat. AJ escapes and strikes away but Roode knocks him down again. He walks over and gets caught in a small package with 9:51 to go, tying it up. They slug it out and Roode kicks him in the knee to regain momentum.

Spinebuster gets two for Bobby. Roode goes for the knee and AJ kicks him in the shoulder, but the champion gets a DDT onto the leg to put AJ back down. Roode tries a slingshot but AJ lands on the rope (on one foot so the quick recovery isn’t ridiculous) and tries the springboard moonsault into the DDT which mostly doesn’t work. The springboard 450 however does get him a pin and a 3-2 lead with 7:00 to go.

A Fujiwara Armbar is countered as is a half crab attempt. AJ drapes the arm over the rope but when he slides back in, Roode drops onto him and grabs the rope for the pin at 5:00 to go. They go up to the corner where AJ runs the corner and arm drags Roode down onto the shoulder. Three minutes left and AJ drops him onto the arm with a belly to back suplex. Fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two.

There’s the Pele but AJ can’t follow up. Two minutes left. He loads up the Clash but falls backwards with his knee getting all twisted up in the process. Roode goes to the floor instead of covering or following up for some reason. AJ’s leg is fine apparently as he hits a flip dive over the top to the floor with 1:00 left. Back in and Roode rolls to the floor again and keeps running until the clock runs out for a 3-3 tie at 30:00.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match but I’m not a fan of Iron Man matches at all. The problem with them is that there’s almost no point to watching them for the first 25 minutes or so since they’re almost always decided at the very end. Not a bad match at all, but I think everyone knew the tie was coming or that AJ would lose somehow, which hurts things a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. I was disappointed by this show but it’s certainly not bad. The first hour or so is really bad but after that things pick up a lot and it gets a lot better. That being said, the big matches were pretty lackluster overall, with the Battle of the Jeffs being too short and both main events being too predictable. Coming in though we all knew this was a B-Level show which makes things a little better, but at the same time it wasn’t a great show at all. Not bad, but nothing that’ll mean anything in two months.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels – Five Star Frog Splash
Robbie E b. Eric Young – Codebreaker
Matt Morgan/Crimson b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Double Chokeslam to D-Von
Austin Aries b. Kid Kash – Brainbuster
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Eat Defeat
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Twist of Fate
AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode went to a 3-3 tie

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USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: February 13, 1993
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Cory Macklin

So I found almost 30 territorial style shows today, so expect a lot of stuff like this: local TV shows that probably have some big names in their roots. This is the USWA, which had been a merger of the CWA (Memphis) and WCCW (Dallas) in an attempt to fight the WWF. However, WCCW pulled out so this is just the Memphis territory of the day. If my memory is right, there’s also a talent exchange with WWF at the time so you may see some familiar faces. Jerry Lawler is more or less divine here, so expect a lot of him. Other than that I have no idea what to expect as I know next to nothing about the USWA. Let’s get to it.

The commentators welcome us to the show and run down the card. There’s some guy named the Rock and Roll Phantom that gets to get beaten up by Lawler. Also Jeff Jarrett (big pop) against Brian Christopher and the Harris Brothers vs. the Gilberts. Lex Luger will be here too. He’s the Narcissist at this point and is part of the talent exchange.

Here’s Brian Christopher who has two belts. Based on what I could find he was Southern Heavyweight Champion (midcard title) at the time so I have no idea what the other belt is. He says that because he’s a double champion, he’s important. Since he’s important he gets to meet other important people, and this week he met Lex Luger. DANG Christopher looks just like his daddy in the face.

He says he’s been hanging out with the WWF Superstars because they’re the best in the business. He has a highlight reel of Luger’s work which is just Luger’s debut in the WWF where Heenan sounded like he wanted Luger to make sweet love to him. At the end of the tape, Christopher says that Luger is going to be here later but first we need a little etiquette lesson. When Lex gets here, you all better cheer him.

With that he brings out the Narcissist. Oh wait it’s Narcissus. Close enough. Christopher talks about how there’s a guy around here named the King who has been making fun of the WWF. That was the huge story at this time: an interpromotional feud between the companies with Vince (acknowledged as the WWF owner on USWA TV) sending his guys down to fight the Memphis guys. He also talks about Jeff Jarrett barking about the WWF a lot because he’s scared of the WWF and Lex in particular.

Lex says that he’s here to give the USWA a peak at what God created when he created the greatest physique ever. I don’t think he imagined a fanny pack with it. The businessmen want Lex to have some tune-up wins before he goes to Wrestlemania in Las Vegas. Those guys also warned him to avoid the USWA because there are some guys there that are pretty good. That made Lex come here because he wants to prove he’s the best. He’s supposed to be a heel right? There will be one or two opponents he’ll take on here before Mania. Unfortunately this is the only show I have from this era so I don’t know who he picked.

Video on Brian Christopher. Or is this his entrance? It’s set to an Elvis (I think) song. Well the Memphis theme is really setting in.

Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

Luger and two other guys that I don’t recognize are here with Christopher. Brian says there’s no need for Lex to be here for this one but then he changes his mind. Ok then. There are no apron curtains. That’s not something I’ve seen outside of a tiny indy company. Lex sits in on commentary for this. There can’t be more than 150 people at this. Ever heard me say someone is stalling like a man from Memphis? Here’s a good example of something like that.

First contact: 63 seconds in. Christopher keeps shouting to Lex how awesome he is but in a sucking up way, not an evil way. Second contact: 100 seconds in. We’re over two minutes in and we’ve had two tieups and that’s it. Ok from what I can find, Christopher is also the Texas Champion. Jeff finally has enough and pops Brian in the face with a right hand. We finally get going as Brian hits a clothesline and stomps a bit. To be fair, Memphis was far more based on egging on the crowd than the in ring action.

A backbreaker gets two for Christopher. He misses an elbow though and Jeff grabs a rollup for two. How weird is it that these two would reach their biggest successes as totally different characters? Christopher as a dancing idiot and Jarrett as a self-obsessed heel. One of the guys that came out with Christopher grabs Jeff’s leg but he manages a DDT to Christopher anyway. Not that it matters as the other guy comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to rate as there isn’t much action in them, but like I said there isn’t supposed to be. These were two fairly big names and two acts that were over as a face and a heel, which is really all you can ask for. At the same time though, there’s barely any wrestling and it was all set up for the ending, which is ok, but it’s still nothing to see.

Jerry Lawler comes out for the post match save. Christopher suggests a tag match with himself/Lex vs. Lawler/Jarrett. Lex declines.

After a break, we have ANOTHER Brian Christopher interview. He says he can be the next Unified World Champion. Christopher says that Lawler is getting old and is going to have to retire soon. When that happens, he’ll be the new king. He never would win that title. Lawler only won it 28 times. That’s mild for him. He won the Southern Heavyweight Title 52 times.

We run down the card for Monday’s big show in the Mid-South Coliseum. There’s a new team there called PG-13 who I’m sure some of you have heard of.

We recap Lawler vs. Christopher which is the main event of that show on Monday. Christopher ran his mouth about how Lawler couldn’t beat him but he never could get a title match. Here’s another video of the same thing happening but Doink the Clown is involved here for no apparent reason. Doink put water on the floor or something so Lawler slips and Christopher beats him up.

Here’s Lawler in the arena who talks about Christopher, saying that Christopher wants to hang out with Lex Luger. Brian runs his mouth about Lawler but that’s all he’s ever done. This time it’s put up or shut up because it’s going to be one on one. Lawler isn’t ready to pass the torch yet. This is going to be the whipping that Christopher needs and all that jazz. This is a wrestling show right?

You would think that would be the segue to Lawler’s match right? Well you would be wrong.

PG-13 says there’s no competition for them here. Everyone else is the Atari and they’re the Super Nintendo. Ok give them a point for a funny line. There’s a music video with them rapping too.

Rock N Roll Phantom vs. Jerry Lawler

The Phantom is Ron Bass’ (remember him? You probably shouldn’t) brother in a mask. He’s rather fat and is from Louisiana. Luger is out for commentary again. The Phantom takes over to start but Lawler gets going and the same guys that came out with Christopher earlier are here with the Phantom. They come in for a DQ at about a minute in. Jarrett and Christopher come out for a huge beatdown. Christopher gets on the mic (fourth or fifth time tonight) and says if Lawler wants to fight him tonight, get Jarrett out of the ring. Christopher tries to run anyway but Lawler catches him and beats him up.

The announcer that hasn’t talked much runs down the upcoming house show schedule.

Jeff Jarrett is here to talk about the Rock N Roll Phantom. We get a clip of some fat guy singing with the Phantom as the Phantom plays guitar. Then Jarrett came out and broke it up and I think they’re going to have a match. One of the two guys that were with Christopher (one is named Mike Samples so that might help things in the future) interferes and Jarrett gets beaten down. Jeff fights all four of them (singer too) off and the match was thrown out.

Back in real time, Jarrett says a lot has been going on and then the Phantom jumped in on top of it. It’s about respect you see.

As he leaves here’s Doug Gilbert but his brother/partner Eddie Gilbert isn’t here. Doug wants to be known as the King of Rock and Roll from now on. It’s Eddie’s fault that they’re not the tag champions at this point because he’s irresponsible. That’s not acceptable for the King of Rock so the next time Eddie is late for something, it’ll be a beating for him. Here’s Eddie who tries to talk sense but Doug cuts him off. Eddie said he wasn’t here because his brother didn’t pick him up at the airport. He offers to take this to the back and talk it out but Doug jumps him and beats him down.

The Harris Brothers are here with Mike Samples (WHO IS THIS GUY???). Samples says his hair is on the line on Monday but it’s really isn’t because the Bruise Brothers (Harrises) wouldn’t let that happen.

J.R. Alzado/Sam Norris vs. Bruise Brothers

I don’t see this lasting long. The announcers aren’t sure who the jobbers are until the names pop up on screen. Total dominance with the Brothers winning in about a minute.

On Monday, the Gilberts will fight instead of having a tag match.

The card for Monday is run down again.

Christopher runs out to say that Lex is going to fight someone next week but the show gets cut off before he could do it.

Overall Rating: D-. If you’re a diehard Brian Christopher fan, RUN, I say RUN, out and find a copy of this show. Or stay at home because it might be more convenient but you get the idea. I don’t ever recall seeing a show that was so dedicated to a single thing more than this one. This show is about an hour long (as in an hour of show, not 45 minutes counting commercials) and about 80% is about Christopher and/or Lawler. There’s about 6 minutes of wrestling in it and none of it is any good. It’s not completely awful, but the Lawler/Lawler’s kid stuff drove me crazy and had me wanting the show to end. Bad sign.

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I forgot to put this up earlier but it’s still Saturday so it counts I guess.

Tomorrow is the final PPV of the year for TNA and it’s pretty much a B-List show.  Here are my thoughts.

The show has been built up pretty well on Impact, but it still feels pretty basic on paper.  The main event should be fine as the guys have enough history together to make a solid and fairly emotional match.  Now with that being said, I’ll leave it up to you if I mean Jeff vs. Jeff or AJ vs. Roode, because if you watch the shows, either of them could be built up as the show’s main event.  My bet is on the cage match but it’s not a strong feeling.

One thing you may not know, and since I doubt anyone follows Dixie on Twitter which is where this came from, is that if Hardy wins then he gets to pick whether Jeff or Karen is fired.  Think that should have been mentioned on Impact?  Yeah I thought so too, but I’m no professional.  On to the picks.

I’ll take:

Roode vs. Styles to a tie

Hardy wins, duh

The tag champs and X Champ keep their titles (PLEASE let this be the case for Aries.  Not that I love Aries but the less Kid Kash I have to see the better)

Daniels to cheat to win over RVD

Assuming it happens, Storm over Angle

Did you know there’s a TV TItle match?  I certainly didn’t, because the TV Title is the most worthless belt that doesn’t have a twin and is red in wrestling.  Eric gets another shot so I’ll go with Robbie to retain.

The other matches…..eh who cares.

Your picks/thoughts?

Simple question.  What got you into the grand sport (yes sport) of pro wrestling?

My mom watched for years as we live in an area that let her see such guys as Jerry Lawler.  I remember hearing her talk about him when I was like 3 and she took me to house shows as a baby.  I know I saw Andre the Giant once interfere in a match between Earthquake and Jim Neidhart.  Also the whole Hulk Hogan thing got me more into it than anything else.

Your version?

Best of the WWF Volume 7
Host: Gene Okerlund
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

We’re back to this again and this is the second time I’ve had to do the first half because I screwed something up and I’m an idiot. Anyway this is from mid 86 which isn’t a good time for the WWF other than this new guy named Savage who is kind of awesome. Other than that there isn’t much to it. Let’s get to it.

Dig that Coliseum Video opening! And yes I know I say that every time but it’s still awesome.

Gene welcomes us to the tape and runs down the card.

Pedro Morales vs. Terry Funk

We’re in Boston here in I’d guess early 86. Gene tells us about Morales holding what we would now call the Triple Crown. Morales is at the end of his career here but he was still big enough of a draw to be brought into the big New England crowds. Morales hammers away and Funk is all messed up early on. Then again he might just be Terry Funk. Funk comes back in and throws Pedro onto the announce table.

Morales may have injured a hamstring on the fall. Funk hammers him in the head and does a little Ali Shuffle. He keeps peppering Morales and they go out onto the table again. Funk actually pulls the headset off of Gorilla who implies a showdown later on. That could actually be worth seeing. Or maybe that was Jimmy Hart. Pedro goes shoulder first into the post and this has been totally one sided so far.

Funk pulls some tape out of his tights and chokes away. Morales gets it though and here comes the firey Latin temper that he was famous for. He knocks Terry around as Jimmy is freaking out on the floor. Funk gets knocked to the floor and the steps get turned over. He goes head first into them and hides under them like a true cowardly heel. Pedro teases jumping off the top but settles for drilling Funk upside the head. Funk does a perfect Flair Flop off the apron to the floor.

I don’t think I’ve seen anything other than punches in this match so far and that’s made it awesome. Funk is all over the place, looking either drunk or old. In other words, he’s perfectly fine. Back to the floor again and Terry finds a wooden chair under the ring but it doesn’t get used. Instead Pedro punches him some more and kicks him in the back. Funk gets his trunks pulled down and that’s an image I really didn’t need to see twice in one night. Jimmy slips Funk the Megaphone and a shot to the head ends this.

Rating: B-. This was a great old school brawl from two great old school brawlers. Funny how something like that works isn’t it? Pedro was more or less done after this and it’s not like Funk ever did much in his run in the WWF. At least after this he went back to the NWA where he was much more successful.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

This was the hottest feud on the planet back then and Savage jumps him as soon as Hogan hits the ring. He destroys Hogan for about three minutes with the robe and shades still on. And that is why Randy Savage is better than you: he can make a robe, sunglasses and purple underwear look awesome. A bunch of belt shots, including one off the top are all cool with the referee.

Liz gets on the apron for dramatic convenience and Hogan takes over with his big rights. Now he has the shades on and he chokes away with the headband. We head to the floor and Savage goes into the post, busting him open badly. Hulk peppers him with some shots to the open cut. What a strategic American hero.

We get our first non-punch move of the match: a choke by Hogan. The fans are WAY into this as Liz gets up on the apron again. Savage gets a shot in and sends Hogan to the floor. There’s the double axe to the outside and another one on the inside for two. Savage goes up and there’s the big elbow, but Hogan does the superhero kickout at one. It’s Hulk Up time and I think you know where this is going.

Hogan goes off on him and there is blood everywhere. There’s the big boot and Savage keeps trying to run. Back to the floor and Hogan sets to ram him into the post but Liz stops him. Savage gets down and rams Hogan into the post. We have a bell for some reason and I guess we’re done? There are spots of blood on Hogan’s trunks.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches where there wasn’t any kind of a story to it and it was just a big brawl from bell to bell. Due to that, the fans LOVED this and never stopped freaking out the entire time. These two did this same match almost every night on the house shows and it never stopped working. Once they teamed up in 88 they were almost unstoppable and it’s why the matches they had after they Exploded were so awesome.

Post match Hogan goes nuts, throwing on a bear hug. It takes a bunch of the roster to break it up. It’s cool to see that from Hogan (who is getting cheered harder than almost anyone else I’ve ever heard in the Garden) who rarely shows much anger. It’s a countout win for Savage if you’re interested, which was Hogan’s second straight loss to Savage in MSG. There’s huge heat on Savage being announced as the winner.

Lou Albano vs. Arnold Skaaland

This is a battle of the managers from 77, which I believe was a HUGE feud if I remember right. They’re both old but the fans are all over this. Skaaland drills him after the bell and Albano almost immediately runs. I think I’ve seen this before. I mean before I erased the review earlier tonight. Albano goes old school on the heel style with a foreign object that isn’t really there. Do that about four or five times and you’re going to need a police escort out of the place, at least back in the day.

The beating goes on for awhile and it’s more or less all Albano just popping him in the head with the object. Seriously that’s all the match is but if I know my MSG crowds, the pop for the comeback is going to be oh yeah there it is. Skaaland gets the object and drills Albano with it a few times to blow the roof off the place. Albano bails and it’s a countout win for Arnold.

Rating: B-. I know that’s way too high for four and a half minutes of nothing but punches, but dang the fans ate this up. They’re two old managers but that’s all this needed to be: a beating by Albano and then a big comeback win for Skaaland, which is all the fans wanted to see. This is a walking definition of less being more.

Tag Titles: Toru Tanaka/Mr. Fuji vs. Haystacks Calhoun/Tony Garea

The non-Japanese guys are champions here. This is a rematch from when the country boy and Garea, the guy from New Zealand won the titles earlier in the year. It’s also 2/3 falls. Calhoun is about 600lbs and was the biggest guy in the company’s history until some French giant arrived. Tanaka throws the salt that is always thrown by Japanese guys for some reason and some little old ladies keep sweeping it up. Ok then.

We’re almost immediately clipped to Garea and Tanaka starting us off. Garea hooks a headlock and is really bland looking while doing so. Calhoun is really happy and jolly. He’s a hillbilly character the size of Yokozuna if that gives you a visual. He comes in too celebrate because his partner hooks a chinlock. See what I’m dealing with here? The heels cheat to take over and it’s off to Fuji. It’s so weird to see him in shape.

Garea fights back, hitting what Tito Santana used called a head knocker. Clipped again to Garea backdropping Tanaka and it’s off to the fat man. He does a few comedy spots but also some simple ones like sitting on Tanaka’s chest instead of dropping onto him. The second time he does it, Garea stands on Haystacks’ back. Calhoun takes some salt to the eye but he gets out easily. A few shoulders get two on Tanaka. And there’s a spin kick to the stomach for the first fall for Tanaka.

Clipped to the start of the second fall with Tony pounding away on Tanaka some more. He hooks a front facelock which is ruled a choke in a rare thing to see for a face’s move. We get the most obvious clipping I’ve ever seen as all of a sudden Fuji is in the hold instead of Tanaka. I know they’re sneaky but come on now. Everything breaks down and the heels double team Calhoun enough for a DQ to tie things up.

Third fall begins with Calhoun all messed up but that’s normal for him as he was always kind of played up as a simpleton. Garea starts of course and Tanaka wants a handshake. They do some lame brawling and Garea hammers away even more. Off to the country boy again and the big splash keeps the titles on Calhoun and Garea.

Rating: D+. This was really pretty boring. I’ve seen some old school matches that are good but this was nothing to see at all. Calhoun was a big old school draw but he didn’t do much for me. The match was nothing to see and was mainly Garea doing the whole thing and boring me to death the entire time. The Japanese team would get the titles back later in the year.

Calhoun splashes Tanaka again because he can.

This next one is from Showdown at Shea so it’s pasting time. Monsoon does commentary on the tape but I’m not watching this again.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Patera vs. Tony Atlas

This is pre-jail for Patera so he’s blonde and still kind of awesome. Atlas is Mr. USA and a generic strongman. Surprisingly good reaction for Atlas. This sums up Patera very well: before Mark Henry, there was Ken Patera. Just with a lower level of suck that is. Atlas is RIPPED with a body that makes John Cena look like Yokozuna. He throws Patera through the ropes on a kickout. Keep in mind Patera weighs about 270.

Foley goes into this insane story about how he remembers the Atlas/Johnson title win and how a strange set of circumstances that night led to him being world champion. Cole is ON IT tonight, talking about how the guys are doing everything in much more dramatic fashion because there’s no video or anything like that so the view you have from the stands is all you have. That’s something I wouldn’t have thought of but it’s very true.

We then get something I’d bet you will hear on a maximum of three other WWE produced shows ever: Foley says a lot of the matches aren’t that good. How many times can you remember someone that flat out saying a show has been bad for the most part? Vince would call the worst matches ever “extraordinary” or something like that while Foley is sitting here saying this show hasn’t been very good. He’s absolutely right which is very nice to hear for a change, especially from someone that knows what it’s like to be out there.

Full nelson goes on but Atlas gets the ropes. The announcers don’t talk about the matches at all and are just telling stories about how their memories of these guys which is really fun to hear. It’s nice to hear guys that love this stuff just sit around and talk about wrestling rather than put things over. We get an interesting issue as the fans chant USA for Mr. USA Tony Atlas. Keep in mind Patera was a legitimate Olympian.

Cross body gets two for Atlas as Cole runs down the history of Shea Stadium. We hit the floor for some brawling and Patera is in trouble. This is a big brawl for the most part and we get a bell as Patera stays outside too long. Foley calls the finish unsatisfying. Atlas gets on the mic and wants more but the champion runs.

Rating: C-. Not very good but fun. Power vs. power is easy to do and this worked fine. Both guys oversold everything which is the idea here and it worked rather well. Not great or anything but fun which is what the idea is supposed to be here. Atlas was pretty decent actually.

Now we get to one of the theme parts of the tape: The Slammies! This was for the original broadcast, which is so far beyond campy it reaches the city again. Gene goes up to some fans and annoys them. All he does is ask who is winning tonight, without asking about categories or nominees. This goes on way too long and he doesn’t seem to stop asking decent looking women. One guy wisely walks away from him. I really hope these guys are plants. This is in Baltimore. The only interesting thing here: Gene says the words jabrino and kayfabe. This goes on WAY too long.

Jesse talks to Piper while Piper is in the bathroom.

Now we get to the main part of the awards. Vince and Gorilla are hosting and Gorilla has to zip up. The first award is for Most Ignominious and it was voted up by the WWF Academy of Arts and Sciences. The winner (and only nominee) is Nikolai Volkoff. Sheik and Volkoff (in wrestling gear and a cheap suit respectively) come out to accept the award but Sheik falls on his face. Volkoff thinks it’s a singing award. He doesn’t know what ignominious means and when he finds out he isn’t pleased. Nikolai says he shouldn’t be the Most Ignominious. He should be the SECOND Most Ignominious.

Roddy Piper wins the award for best performance in the Land of 1000 Dances video. He has what appears to be a broom with him for some reason. The trophy breaks as soon as he picks it up. He says that’s typical of MTV: Music to Vomit by. Oh that Roddy. He’s so crazy. Like MTV has anything to do with music.

Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs

If this isn’t awesome, they’re having an off night. Bret and Dynamite start us off and things are in high gear already. Bret bails and we’re clipped. YOU AIR TEN MINUTES OF GENE ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS AND YOU CLIP THIS??? Bret gets sent outside again and it’s off to Davey. It’s power vs. power now as Anvil comes in. They trade slams and Davey does it with just one arm. Show-off.

Davey makes Anvil look stupid (a far stretch to be sure) and it’s off to Bret. The Harts take over on Davey and work him over in their corner. This is Foundation 101 and to be fair it’s 80s tagging 101. They’re in the black and blue which I always like a little better than the pink. Smith gets the tag to Dynamite but Bret pops him in the back as he’s hitting the ropes. Now the REAL beating begins. Anvil sends him to the floor where Bret slams him on the concrete.

The heels do some old school cheating like switching without tagging and other such nefarious means. Dynamite takes the Bret chest first to the buckle bump. The Harts work over the ribs and back for the most part. There’s some heel miscommunication as Bret holds Dynamite’s arms back but Anvil has a boot up in the corner to ram Dynamite’s head into. You don’t often see that from the Harts.

Davey finally freaks out and chases Bret around the ring which just allows choking by Anvil. They continue the tag cheating ways by having Dynamite make the tag but Bret distracts to keep the tag from counting. I love stuff like that. Dynamite tries to spin out of a backbreaker like a tilt-a-whirl but I think they botch it to a degree. Backslide gets two for the Kid.

Dynamite gets tied up in the ropes but escapes just in time to avoid a flying Hitman who crashes into the ropes. Hot tag FINALLY brings in Davey to clean house. There’s the press slam to Bret. The numbers catch up with him and he takes a Hart Attack. Bret covers him, only to have Dynamite fly off the top with a swan dive (he was Benoit’s idol) and makes the illegal pin.

Rating: B. Oh come on it’s the Bulldogs vs. the Harts. This would be good if none of them had any limbs on their bodies. This is probably the best pairing of any WWF teams in this era, and when you consider how totally stacked the division was in this era, I can’t really think of any higher praise.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Moon Dogs

The lighting is horrible here so I’m assuming this is in a non-American city. I’m right as it’s from an unnamed city in Australia. The Rougeaus are brand new here. This incarnation of the Moon Dogs are Rex and Spot, probably the most successful pair. The Rougeaus take turns beating up on Rex, who is returning it seems. The brothers aren’t even in matching tights so this must be very early in their run in the company. Further research says this is their first month there.

Spot comes in but the beard doesn’t work its usual magic as he’s rolled up for two. We’re in Sydney if you’re particularly interested. According to Hayes this is the Rougeaus’ debut. The newcomers work over Spot but we’re clipped to him holding Raymond in a bearhug. Hot tag brings in Jacques who cleans house and hits a cross body for the pin on Rex.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a nothing tag match here but that wasn’t the point. This was the team’s debut and they needed a win over an established team to get anywhere. Also it’s just a house show match for a country that didn’t get much mainstream wrestling, so it’s not like this was supposed to be anything of note.

Dream Team vs. Iron Sheik vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Both teams here have lost the tag titles at Mania so they have that in common. Also this is the rare heel vs. heel pairing. This might be in Philly but I’m not 100% sure. Oh ok this is before Mania 2 so the Dream Team (Beefcake/Valentine) are the champions. Off to Beefcake who gets caught in the other evil corner. Nikolai hammers away on him and wins a brief power struggle.

I think the champs are the de facto faces here. Valentine has a little bit better luck against the Russian so it’s off to Sheik. He hooks an abdominal stretch and Gorilla still finds something to complain about with it. The Sheik goes aerial with a dropkick of all things and gets two. Brutus gets the tag and this match is boring me to death. The not yet Barber misses a middle rope fist to Volkoff and it’s time for a bearhug to waste more time. Camel Clutch by Sheik is broken up and Valentine comes in, as does everyone else. And there’s the lame double DQ. At least it’s over.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamest matches I’ve seen in years. Just boring all around and the whole thing didn’t work at all. The Dream Team was straight up boring but would be together until Mania 3 because the fans hadn’t suffered enough I guess. Just a horrible match and terribly boring.

Overall Rating: B-. The last match really drains this because aside from that, I really didn’t have anything to complain about. Everything works really well and you get an hour and a half of great stuff until the last match on the tape just kills this thing deader than Coliseum Video. If they had put Hogan vs. Savage on last, this goes WAY up in value. Still good stuff though, which is rare in this series.

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