What are some matches you don’t hear people talk about that you’re a fan of?

One of the matches I remember liking is the main event of Uncensored 97.  it’s a three team 12 man tag with Team Piper vs. Team WCW vs. Team NWO with a stipluation if each of them wins.  The whole thing actually works and there’s nothing to it that is too far over the top that it gets ridiculous.  The post match appearance by Sting and confirming that he’s WCW is awesome stuff too.

Your picks?

Great American Bash 1988
Date: July 10, 1988
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

This is a bit more like it and it’s a traditional PPV. If you’re a fan of long matches, this is the show for you. There are five matches and the shortest is just under sixteen minutes long. The main event is Lex challenging Flair for the title as Luger is the hottest thing in the world and the question is how is Flair going to escape. Notice I said escape and not win. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bit too upbeat for my tastes. The name of this show is the Price of Freedom. Did George Bush produce this?

World Tag Titles: Sting/Nikita Koloff vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

No entrance for the champions. Koloff has a full head of hair and it’s not working for him at all. Sting has burst onto the national scene with his classic at the first Clash so the crowd is white hot. They clear the ring quickly but the Horsemen are all like BRING IT ON. Sting nails a dropkick to send Arn to the floor and then hits a plancha (remember this is 1988) and takes Anderson out.

They’re the official starters and it’s off to Nikita for some arm work quickly. Koloff fakes Anderson out and hits Sickles on both Horsemen but doesn’t cover until late and Arn gets his foot on the ropes. Those idiot Lithuanians. Sting comes in and it’s back to the arm. The Horsemen try to double team Sting with stereo top wristlocks but Sting is like screw that and backflips out of it. He was so fast and so athletic back in the day that no one could touch him.

Tully comes in and finds his arm being yanked on too. Nikita works him to the mat with ease and gets some two counts. Tony and Jim talk about the continuity of the challengers being great which is a surprise. It’s so nice to hear guys talking about the match and analyzing it instead of having them rant and rave about stuff that has nothing to do with it. Blanchard misses a charge into the corner and goes into the post shoulder first.

Anderson manages to slap Tully’s boot but that doesn’t count. I wonder what you actually have to do to have a tag count. That’s an interesting question. Anyway back to Sting after a fake tag (he did the clapping thing) as Tully still can’t get out. We’re 10 minutes into this and it’s been all Sting and Koloff, which is an old formula in the NWA and I’d bet we see it again in Luger vs. Flair later.

Koloff and Blanchard go to the mat and Anderson FINALLY gets the tag but Nikita rolls to his own corner to further frustrate Arn. Koloff takes Anderson to the mat quickly but the Horsemen get in some shots to the knee to FINALLY slow things down. That lasts about five seconds as Koloff and Blanchard collide and go to the floor together. Nikita suplexes him in for two but JJ makes the save. Koloff tries to drill him but clotheslines the post instead and there’s your match changing moment.

You don’t have to tell Arn twice that someone has a bad arm so he sends Koloff’s arm into the post again and Tully pounces. Off to Anderson for the hammerlock slam (called vintage by JR). There are five minutes left and that should tell you what the ending is going to be right away. Koloff fights up but gets caught in a DDT for a pop. That’s still a very popular move at this point but it only gets two here.

Tully and Arn keep working on the arm but they can’t seem to pick which arm that it’s supposed to be. Blanchard hooks on an armbar and we have three minutes to go. Arn tries a Vader Bomb but jumps into knees and the hot tag gets a big pop. We’re under two minutes and Sting is dominating. Sting dropkicks Tully and hits the splash but Arn makes a tag to kill the crowd dead. The one minute mark brings a sleeper to Arn but Tully tries a top rope sunset flip which Sting blocks. Sting hits the splash and gets the Scorpion on Blanchard but time runs out and it’s a draw.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but with five minutes to go everyone knew it was going to be a draw. Also the first 10 minutes or so are mainly armbars but Sting was such a popular and charismatic guy that he was able to carry the whole thing through to that point. Nikita helped as well as he knew how to work a crowd like few others. Good opener though, although I’m not sure if they should have kept the titles on the Horsemen or not.

US Tag Titles: Fantastics vs. Midnight Express

The Fantastics (Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers) are champions and if they win they get to lash Lane and Eaton 10 times and they get to lash Cornette as well. Jim will be up in a cage above the ring though which is funny stuff as he’s legit scared of heights. I’ve always liked the Fantastics so this should be good. Cornette is in a straitjacket as well.

Cornette freaks out as only he can do, getting in such lines as “THIS JACKET HASN’T BEEN TAILORED!!!!” and then trying to bribe the referee with 5,000, 10,000 and finally 15,000 dollars. The referee turns him down so Cornette says “WHAT KIND OF CRACKPOT ARE YOU? YOU’RE AN HONEST MAN! BOBBY HE’S AN HONEST MAN!!!” Cornette gets in the cage and has one of the best terrified reactions you’ll ever see. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I’M GOING UP IN THE AIR!!! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!” Hilarious stuff.

Ok so now there’s the bell as all of that was just pre match fun. Bobby Eaton vs. Bobby Fulton gets us going. Fulton tries a cool move by sliding between Eaton’s legs but pulls him down into a sunset flip position for one. Eaton takes him to the mat with a headlock to take over but a headscissors sets up a rana to put Eaton right back down. The fans are all over Cornette who I think is having a heart attack.

Lane comes in and fires off some awesome kicks to send Fulton out to the floor. Lane’s martial arts were always good. Rogers comes in and beats up some Midnights to take over again. We hear about the Maryland State Athletic Commission, which no one has ever heard of before and is foreshadowing for later tonight. Eaton pops Rogers in the face but a blind tag brings in Fulton again and everything breaks down. The champions send the Midnights to the floor and dance a bit.

The focal point is mainly the arm of Lane and Rogers backflips out of a backdrop but a blind tag brings in Eaton for a bulldog. This is a total chess match with both teams trying to top each other. Stan takes Tommy’s head off with a slingshot clothesline and it’s back to Eaton to destroy him a bit more. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Lane comes back in and fires off some kicks to send Rogers into Eaton for a Low Down backbreaker.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two as Rogers is in the ropes. Cornette is still sitting in the cage and is freaking out. We’re at about eleven minutes which JR and Tony tell us more than once because I guess we need to know it really badly. Rogers finally gets in a shot but Lane is in to break it up. He misses a kick by what must have been a good six inches (or half his foot, whichever you prefer). (I’ll now pause for you to roll your eyes at what might be the worst joke I’ve ever made).

Fulton tries to come in illegally which doesn’t work because most faces aren’t good cheaters. Sunset flip gets two for Rogers but Eaton takes him down quickly. Top rope legdrop (Eaton’s is great) hits for a tag instead of a cover. The Midnights keep up the beating but a Rocket Launcher eats knees as we hit fifteen minutes. It’s finally a hot tag to Fulton and everything breaks down. Double teaming puts Fulton onto the floor and he takes a slam out there. Down goes the referee and Stan has a chain or something. Eaton winds up with it and pops Fulton with it for the pin and the titles and a face pop.

Rating: A-. Don’t let anyone tell you the 80s weren’t the best time ever for tag team wrestling. This was for the midcard titles and it was a great match. It’s totally awesome as both teams work together so well and you got a great match out of it as a result. This was what they did on all kinds of house shows and the scarier part is that the Rock N Roll matches with the Midnights were probably even better regularly.

The chain is found post match but it doesn’t matter as Eaton slipped it into Fulton’s tights. That’s genius. Post match Cornette takes a lashing with a belt anyway.

Cornette rants to Bob Caudle about the torture he just went through.

Road Warriors/Ronnie Garvin/Jimmy Garvin/Steve Williams vs. Kevin Sullivan/Mike Rotundo/Russian Assassin/Ivan Koloff/Al Perez

This is the Tower of Doom match. Sooo…..how in the world do I go about explaining this one? This was a one off concept (thank goodness) that is kind of like WarGames meets Doomsday Cage (Uncensored 96) meets Triple Cage (Slamboree 2000). You have three cages: one is a taller version of a regular cage. Above that you have a smaller cage and above that you have a cage that at most two people could fit in at once.

The idea here is every two minutes, each team sends in a man. Now the logical thing would be to put them in at the bottom, but instead they’re starting at the top via huge extended ladders. The idea is you have to climb down the cage and out the door. The catch is that Jimmy Garvin’s chick Precious is in the bottom cage and has the keys.

The entire point to this match is that Sullivan wants Precious who keeps turning him down. I’m not sure if it’s been introduced yet or not, but there was something about papers he had that she didn’t want being seen and he called her Patti as if he had known her before so maybe they were married before or something but the whole insane story was dropped with no explanation after Garvin got hurt and Precious, his real wife, left wrestling. That’s wrestling for you though.

The rest of the people aren’t there for any particular reason. The Varsity Club and the Road Warriors were feuding I think but they were more there as heavies. Williams would join the Club soon after this and end that run. Ronnie is there because he’s part of Garvin’s family. They stand around forever to wait on everything to be secured.

Ivan Koloff vs. Ronnie Garvin to start in a clash of former world champions. Keep in mind they’re up there by the lights so the fans can’t see a thing. Rotunda is up there already (not in the cage but waiting outside of it) along with Williams to go in next. There’s no room for anyone to do anything up there so it’s really boring to start. After two minutes the trap door will open but it’s only for ten seconds so there’s a chance of having a 2-1 situation.

Garvin and Koloff chop each other a lot and the cage shakes. I’m scared of heights so this is terrifying for me. We randomly cut to a not very hot chick in the crowd as the horn goes off for the two minute interval. The door is open for like 40 seconds as Garvin goes through and there’s some powder thrown. Ok so Garvin is in the second cage by himself and has to wait there now. Williams is getting beaten down 2-1 and Animal and I think that’s Perez who are coming in next.

Williams fights both guys off as the cage keeps shaking. I need some Tums. The horn goes off and Garvin gets down to the regular cage, Williams and Koloff get into the middle cage and it’s Animal vs. Rotundo and Perez on top. Precious lets Garvin out so it’s officially 1-0 Team Garvin but 3-2 in the cage itself. Hawk and the Assassin are up next but not quite yet. Animal takes over on the heels and the fans actually get into it.

Koloff gets beaten down also and there’s the horn. Perez makes it to the middle cage as does Animal. No one makes it to the bottom cage so it’s Animal, Koloff, Williams and Perez in the middle while Rotundo, Hawk and the Assassin are up top. Jimmy Garvin and Sullivan who are more or less the captains are left. Williams slams Koloff and JR is practically in the cage to suck him off for it.

Another horn goes off and it’s Perez and Animal in the bottom cage, Koloff, Hawk, Assassin and Williams in the middle and Rotundo, Jimmy and Sullivan up top. Now remember that just because all 10 are in, it doesn’t mean the horn thing ends because the trap doors aren’t staying open. Animal escapes to the floor and Williams puts Koloff in a Figure Four. Ross is saying how intense and insane it is and while it’s overkill, this is still pretty nuts.

There’s a horn and Rotundo finally makes it out of the top. Assassin makes it to the floor as is Koloff. Perez makes it out to the floor. Hawk comes down to the bottom and is in a handicap with the Russians. Ok so the Russians and Road Warriors are feuding. That’s why they’re in this. Hawk takes them both down with a clothesline while Garvin and Sullivan fight up top. Williams vs. Rotundo is going on in the middle. I’ll give them this: they’re staying on a wide shot at least some of the time and you can see most of everything which is a nice touch.

Precious is still in the bottom cage remember. Hawk escapes, but that leaves it 4-2 (Jimmy/Williams vs. Russians/Sullivan/Rotundo). Williams makes it to the final cage but Garvin and Sullivan don’t care about moving but eventually go down. Williams and the Russians escape so we’re left with Rotundo/Sullivan vs. Jimmy Garvin, who thankfully isn’t in those small white trunks anymore.

The horn goes off and Rotundo gets out of the entire cage while Garvin vs. Sullivan are left in the middle. A big brawl breaks out on the floor with the other 8 guys because Garvin vs. Sullivan is pretty boring without Precious involved. Garvin works on the leg a bit and then they slug it out. The horn goes off and they both go down to the bottom and Sullivan goes right for Precious who kicks him away for Jimmy to save her. Garvin works on the knee some more and hits his brainbuster finisher but can’t get the door unlocked. Sullivan gets up and shoves Garvin out to give Team Jimmy the win.

Rating: D. The match is a total mess, but by comparison to something like the Doomsday Cage Match, this is a masterpiece. It makes almost no sense but at least once you get into the match you can follow it. There’s one really stupid part which we’ll get to here in just a second if you haven’t figured it out already. It should have been WarGames, but this isn’t a total disaster I guess.

Now we get to the big problem: since Garvin was thrown out, Precious is locked inside with the man that wants to either rape and/or murder her. Yeah they didn’t really think that one all the way through did they? Sullivan drops to his hands and knees and crawls over to her as Jimmy and Hawk try to climb up the ladders for the rescue. Sullivan gets her jacket off and pulls a rope or chain out of his trunks and chokes away until Hawk FINALLY comes in to half kill Sullivan with a clothesline. Garvin gets Precious out as you have to wonder why in the world the Garvins EVER agreed to let her be in there in the first place.

Oh and one other thing about it that makes it more bearable than the Doomsday match: YOU COULD SEE IT. They were in the middle of the arena and it was well lit. Why that was such a stretch for 96 is beyond me.

Bob Caudle fills in some time while they take the cage down.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Dusty Rhodes

Barry is defending here and this is Dusty’s rematch after being stripped of the title for beating up Jim Crockett. Windham used to be Dusty’s friend but turned on him to join the Horsemen and take Luger’s spot so there’s heat here. Barry charges in but Dusty lifts up his elbow to scare him away. Dusty sends him to the floor quickly and Barry needs time out. Barry drops an elbow on the back of his head but Dusty pops up for a gorilla press to take over.

A DDT puts Barry down again as Rhodes controls to start us off. Rhodes hits a top rope cross body for two after the earth stops shaking. Dusty pops both Windham and JJ with elbows and the crowd explodes. The fat man was indeed popular and no one can take that away from him. Five minutes in now and Barry pounds away. I miss the NWA telling us the time gone in a match as it helps keep track of where we are and wasn’t just for time limit endings.

We go to the floor and Windham’s piledriver is reversed. Barry pounds away in the corner and we go outside again. And never mind as Dusty leans back on the rope (amazingly it doesn’t snap like a twig) to slingshot Barry out to the floor again. Barry grabs his finisher, a claw hold, after JJ interferes. We’re currently at 90 seconds of the US Champion having his finishing move on Dusty but Dusty is gyrating. Make that two minutes of nonstop claw. Dusty manages to stand up, climb the ropes (which doesn’t call for a break from Tommy Young) and signal for an elbow but Windham takes him down again.

We’re at 3 minutes straight now and Dusty hasn’t been past his knees in about two minutes of that. Imagine if Cena stayed in the cross armbreaker for three minutes. The internet would form into a missile and kill him all at once. Total time in the Claw: four minutes and five seconds before an elbow breaks it up.

Let me repeat that: the old man (Dusty is a veteran at this point and in his early 40s) just lasted over four minutes in the finishing hold of the young unstoppable US Champion who won the title with that very hold. I’ve heard of killing moves dead before but Dusty took the Claw, shot it, buried it, turned it into a chicken, plucked it, cleaned it, put it in batter and sold it to a man named Sanders.

Dusty is immediately fine and tries a Figure Four but gets caught in the Claw again. Dusty was out of the hold all of 8 seconds. This one only lasts 46 seconds as they go up to the corner again. Barry tries the superplex but Dusty shoves him off and takes out the referee. Dusty slams him off and hits the big elbow but there’s no referee. Ronnie Garvin of all people comes out and kills Dusty dead with his Hands of Stone punch finisher as he turns heel. The Claw is academic as Dusty is dead and Windham retains. Garvin would be gone in only a few months and would be in the WWF by December.

Rating: D+. That claw in the middle was just so ridiculous. I mean seriously, Dusty lasted practically 5 minutes in it overall and was just fine until a punch comes out and stops him cold? I mean how weak does the Claw look now when a right hand, the most basic move in wrestling, ends Dusty faster than five minutes of a claw? How many matches have you seen that are shorter than five minutes? Imagine a single hold lasting that long. Crazy.

Garvin is with JJ and Gary Hart, another heel manager. There appears to be a suitcase of money handed to Garvin. See, why is that so hard? Someone did it because of money. Why is that such a hard concept anymore?

NWA World Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair

That would be written a few dozen times over the years but this is one of the first times. Pretty basic story here: Luger was a Horsemen, lost his US Title to Dusty at Starrcade and then said he was going to be on his own and got thrown out of the Horsemen and was replaced by Windham, his best friend. This is his revenge/shot at awesomeness. Flair is in white which isn’t something you see often.

Flair is in white trunks with yellow pads and Luger is in yellow trunks with white pads. Uh…deep? Very slow paced start but they have a lot of time. This has TV time remaining which sounds really odd on PPV but it’s the truth. Flair is sent to the floor and takes a walk in front of the State Athletic Commission. Luger leapfrogs him and adds a gorilla press for pain.

The champ hits the floor again and yells at a fat boy in the crowd. There’s always one of them out there. I think the real money in the NWA was in coaching physical fitness, not wrestling. Back in Lex grabs a half test of strength and guess how that goes. Gorilla press puts Flair down again and it’s off to a bearhug. There’s a suplex and Flair’s back is being destroyed. Lex’s big elbow hits but a second misses.

That does a total of nothing as Lex hits a hip toss and we’re back on the floor again. Flair sends him into the railing and takes over. We’re over ten minutes in now as Flair puts him down again. Flair starts in on the ribs which takes away the Rack I think. Lex fires off a clothesline for two and Flair goes up. This time it’s different though as Lex shakes the rope and Flair is crotched. Another clothesline gets two as does a slam.

A very long sunset flip gets two. Now we get to the second half of the match as Flair goes after the knee. We’re 15 minutes in and Flair cannon balls down onto the leg. There’s the Figure Four (wrong knee of course) but it only lasts for a few seconds. Lex somehow gets up and clotheslines Flair to the floor and it’s the momentum that sent him out there as the rule is adjusted again. Granted that was almost always how it was called.

Flair chops away but Super Lex isn’t hurt at all. That was another constant: chops never worked on Lex. Sting was about the same too. Luger hits another gorilla press but the knee gives out after it hits. Lex, ever the genius, tries a knee drop and misses. He deserves it for such a boneheaded move too. Flair goes up and this time is slammed down. JR says that’s the fourth gorilla press for Luger. And people say Cena is repetitive.

An atomic drop is no sold by Lex. If there’s ever been an anti-steroids ad, I give you exhibit A. We’re at twenty minutes so this is almost done. Flair is sent to the floor again but it doesn’t last long. They collide and both go over the top where Flair screams that his leg is hurt. Lex goes into the post and Dillon sends him into it again.

Now we get to the interesting part: Lex is busted open. Remember that. There’s barely any blood but the announcers make it clear that Lex is bleeding. And here’s the Maryland State Athletic Commissioner to get the referee’s attention. Lex puts him in the Rack and there’s the bell.

Rating: B. Good match here but the Starrcade one blows this out of the water. The ending is pretty stupid as I’m sure you can see what’s coming a mile away. Lex would face Flair about a thousand more times for the title but he would never get the big win, which is what stopped Lex from becoming the mega star that he was supposed to become. Let’s get to the part you all know is coming.

The match is stopped because of the cut. The fact that no fan has ever heard of the Commission and that you can’t see any blood is ignored.

The faces come out to raise Lex’s arms but it means nothing.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s a pretty good show but the ending is pretty weak. I don’t get the point in not switching the title here and having Flair get the title back at Starrcade. The rest of the show is pretty good stuff although the Tower of Doom is pretty stupid. The second tag match is very good and the rest of it is solid enough. Worth seeing but don’t watch the home video as it hacks the thing to pieces.

NXT
Date: September 27, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

Another week here and after the last two weeks I’m assuming that it’s time for the Usos to face JTG and Young in what Gorilla Monsoon would call a main event in any arena in the country except the one we’re in now where it’s a filler match 2 spots down on the card because it’s a pair of teams that not many people care about. Also I’m sure Maxine and Bateman will try to further the split of Horny and AJ because….because….because that’s what bad people on an internet wrestling show do. Let’s get to it.

JTG and Young open the show and I still want to hurt JTG. Regal: “You know I absolutely hate him.” Young calls JTG a tag team specialist and they go over their tag team success here. They talk about winning NXT and then the tag titles but the Usos interrupt. They actually get to talk and no one seems that interested. We get clips of both Uso attacks after the wins by Team Annoying. The Usos talk about the Samoan heritage and how great at tag team stuff the Samoans are. Fan: “SHAD WAS BETTER!” JTG says the Samoans were a joke and gets chased to the floor. The tag match is mentioned.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal

Yep it’s officially the minor league show and not about a competition anymore. Yoshi’s music doesn’t really fit with the new look. Regal says he was at Mahal’s christening 25 years ago and was rivals with Mahal’s dad. We hear about how Yoshi was squashed by Mahal about two months ago and got some teeth knocked out in the process. I remember that match and if this isn’t better than that one, that says a lot.

Yoshi takes over with a headlock but a suplex gets Mahal out of trouble. A chinlock eats up a few seconds and Mahal takes over. Korpela: “What would your strategy be if you were Yoshi?” Regal: “Win the match.” You can’t buy this kind of analysis people. Regal follows that up by talking about Mahal’s uncle, the Indian Karaoke Champion: Getupta Singh. Back to the chinlock. A kick by Yoshi gets two. The Indian hits a Samoan on the Japanese but it gets reversed into a crucifix for two.

They go up to the corner and Yoshi blocks a superplex. Tatsu tries a dive as Regal talks about how you have to be a special kind of man to headbutt someone. Yes you do, but it takes a more special man to Coco Butt someone. As Yoshi is getting up he gets caught in the full nelson slam for the pin at 6:07.

Rating: C-. Not too bad but I feel sorry for Mahal. He was getting a fairly decent push on Smackdown or at least the opening stages of one and then that just kind of stopped. That’s another case of someone getting some kind of momentum and then the writers getting bored with him and so much for that. The match wasn’t bad but it’s nothing I’ll remember tomorrow.

Video on the Cell.

And now from that to something completely different as Horny is looking for AJ and has a note for her. Maxine tries to tell him that AJ is with Titus but Horny shushes her. Horny finds Titus and AJ (score one for Maxine) and the note (read by Titus for some reason) is a very poetic letter (it talks about being a boat tethered in a storm and stuff like that), basically saying that Horny is leaving NXT for Smackdown. AJ is sad but uh…isn’t she on Smackdown too? Horny leaves all sad and AJ points out just that: she’s on Smackdown too. I believe that officially eliminates all the remaining Pros.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal talks about how Punk winning would mean he has no more worlds left to conquer because he’d be WWE Champion. My face actually scrunched up and I looked up from my computer in a state of confusion over that one. Kidd speeds things up to start but Watson (much better without the glasses and OH YEAH) hits a dropkick for two. Korpela says everyone is talking about Watson’s vertical leap. Today I talked about how the Monopoly game is back at McDonald’s which means the McRib is back soon, but that’s just me.

Back in after a quick bit on the floor and Tyson hooks a chinlock. He shouts to the crowd and they don’t shout back. A belly to back breaks the hold up and both guys are down. Watson hits another dropkick and a clothesline in the corner. A spinning splash gets two as Regal makes fun of JTG a little more. Kidd hits something like a spinning neckbreaker that has a long name including the word moss that I don’t feel like typing and a springboard elbow for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: C. Kidd is getting better and better every week and thankfully he’s regularly appearing on Smackdown because of it. However, I’d like to see him doing something more than just appearing on NXT beating up random former NXT rejects. They need to just turn this into its own independent show and make an NXT Champion already so Kidd can challenge for it.

Mahal says not to talk about Khali because he’s the only one that matters. Most of this isn’t in English so it’s hard to really get what’s going on. I think he says eat more chicken. His eyes are all freaky looking. Tonight he’s returning to greatness.

Usos vs. JTG/Darren Young

Why does no one jump the Usos during that dance thing they do? I mean….it wouldn’t be that hard. JTG vs. let’s say Jimmy (like I can tell them apart) to start us off. I was watching the 88 Great American Bash and turned off Fantastics vs. Midnight Express for this. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as good. Jimmy hits a northern lights suplex as we’re told that JTG never won a tag title despite being in a (not named) popular tag team.

Korpela talks about how there’s still a competition and says it’s about being the next break out star. There’s no mention of being on Season Six now. I think my blood pressure just dropped down to healthy. I think that’s Jimmy getting beaten down but I don’t particularly care enough to remember which has the chest tattoo. Hot tag brings in Jey who kicks and punches a lot. Young manages to grab a belly to back to Jimmy (I had them wrong) on the apron to shift momentum as we take a break.

Back with JTG coming in to pound on I guess Jimmy. After a long chinlock, Jey breaks up a cover and it’s off to Young. Regal explains the point of the rapid covers that don’t work as he says Young knows it’s not going to get a pin but it’ll drain Jimmy a lot. See, THAT is what an analyst is there for. He knows what he’s talking about because he’s been in there. It’s a lot better than saying someone is in the Fave Five which has about 27 people per week.

Jimmy’s back is worked on and Young sends him into the corner for two. Has anyone ever been pinned off an Irish Whip? Young slaps away at the back and hits a chinlock again, this time with the knee in the back. Maybe he did learn something in Nexus. Regal talks about how Young is working on the back. Korpela: “Good point.” Regal: “I know.” Jimmy breaks up the chinlock but JTG gets a tag to break it up again.

To my great surprise, this hasn’t been a very bad tag match. It’s amazing what random guys can do when they’re thrown out there and allowed some time to develop and get experience isn’t it? Jimmy sends JTG flying with something called an Alley-Us (I’d call it a flip but what do I know?). Either way it gets the tag in to Jey and the lower half of the house is cleaned. He hits the running Umaga smash to the face in the corner which Korpela says is shades of Rikishi and a double superkick sets up the superfly splash to Young for the pin at 11:23.

Rating: B-. I don’t know if it was the total lack of anticipation or expectations, but this was a pretty good match. The hot tag was obvious, but they built it up the whole time and with Regal talking about how good the back work was, I was getting into it a little bit at the end. Keep in mind that this was Usos vs. JTG/Darren Young and you’ll get why that’s a lot harder than it would be in most matches.

Post match the Usos celebrate but Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins run in for an attack. Again, that is almost territory style as you bring in whatever random talent you can find for a quick feud/program with someone else after another program is over.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this tonight because they got a step closer to making this the C show instead of the competition nonsense. Also it means no more Hornswoggle at least here which means maybe that story is over. AJ’s reaction to it made me chuckle too. When you look at this show, there’s the makings of some decent stuff, especially if they gave up on the competition and just let it be its own thing. Not bad here as it gets closer to dropping the NXT nonsense.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Yoshi Tatsu – Full Nelson Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow
Usos b. Darren Young/JTG – Top rope splash to Young

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 26, 2011
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Booker T

Since we’re 8 days removed from Night of Champions and the WWE is stupid, this is the last Raw before Hell in a Cell. The main event is already set so I’d expect a lot of stuff being added in to fill up the midcard tonight. Also we should probably get some more on the firings of R-Truth and Miz tonight as we got some advancement in the whole big story last week. Let’s get to it.

Booker is in on commentary instead of Jerry due to Henry’s attack last week.

The Cell is hanging above the ring.

Alberto vs. Punk in the main event tonight.

Here’s HHH to open things up to a big ovation. He wants to explain the firings last week. The firings were due to this, and we throw it to a video about Truth and Miz freaking out post Night of Champions and about the events of the PPV and last week. After the video HHH says he didn’t buy the apology but he used them for one more main event then fired them. The fine however will still be paid but by Mark Henry for his attacks last week.

HHH says no one is bigger than the WWE and he’ll always do what is right for the company…and here are Vickie and Dolph. Dolph complains about getting his jaw broken by Hugh Jackman and the headlines on news sites because of it. He wants to know what HHH plans to do about it. HHH takes some not so subtle shots at Dolph and offers Dolph security for when the Muppets are here next month.

Cue Cody Rhodes who complains about Orton hitting him with the bell in the head and needing 9 staples to close it. Why wasn’t Orton fired or fined? HHH talks about how a few years ago Orton attacked his wife while HHH was handcuffed (nice touch by pointing out that Rhodes was there helping) and then he beat up Orton on Orton’s front line. Rhodes needs to man up. This draws out Christian who says HE was wronged the most by Sheamus for throwing him back into the ring against Henry. “It was a lumberjack match idiot.”

Christian threatens a huge lawsuit but won’t do it for the sake of one more match. That’s what Christian will get. At HIAC he’s getting one more match, but it’s against Sheamus. This Friday Christian gets one more match against Randy Orton. Tonight Christian gets one more match against John Cena. “Is it for the title?” “No.” Christian freaks out and leaves.

Ziggler yells some more and is told he has to defend the US Title tonight against Ryder. HHH says WOO WOO WOO You Know It. Cody is the last one in the ring and HHH gives him the night off. Cody says give yourself the night off. HHH doesn’t like this and says Cody is defending tonight. Every time Cody complains the match is upgraded. It goes from a triple threat to a fatal fourway to a ten man battle royal in about 15 seconds. The battle royal is up next. Cool.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

Cody Rhodes, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, Drew McIntyre, Sin Cara, Ted DiBiase, Alex Riley, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Justin Gabriel

Cara gets an entrance and it’s the original blonde. Good pop for Sheamus and those are the only two who get entrances. Cody hits the floor quickly and Drew is beaten down and tossed in about 15 seconds. The other Sin Car comes in and takes the original’s place. Bryan tosses him a second later so we’re down to 8 in less than a minute. The original hits a rana off the steps to the fake one but isn’t allowed to go back in.

Cody is back in the ring now and Ted is all over him. Gabriel skins the cat and pulls Riley to the apron with him. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick but takes Riley out anyway. A double axe puts Gabriel out and we’re down to six. Make that four as Jackson throws out Bryan and Morrison in a double backdrop. Sheamus and Jackson (Legacy are the other two remaining guys) go at it in the big brawl and Jackson is beaten down quickly.

Ted tries to sneak in with Dream Street but gets put on the top rope and knocked out. Beautiful Disaster puts down Sheamus but Jackson throws Rhodes….to the apron. Jackson charges like an idiot and is tossed to get us down to Rhodes vs. Sheamus. Sheamus gets ready for the Cross but Christian comes out for the distraction. Cody can’t toss Sheamus in the distraction though so Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick and gets caught on the apron. Cody takes the mask off but Sheamus gets a shot in to block it. Christian distracts him though and a mask shot ends Sheamus at 4:34 for Cody to retain.

Rating: D+. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was pretty weak. They had some drama at the end which helped but people went out so fast that it was hard to get into it. With a person going out about every 30 seconds there’s only so much you can do as far as getting into this. Not a very good match and not very interesting.

Christian rams Sheamus’ arm into the post and yells a lot.

We get a clip of Henry beating Jerry down last week.

David Otunga says that he’s got a law degree (and he has the bowtie to prove it) and Johnny Ace says maybe he should do something about the safety of people.

Video on Kelly Kelly.

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix

Eve has changed her hair and it’s not working for me as bangs are never my thing. Beth and Eve get us started but it’s off to Natalya quickly who interlocks her legs with Eve’s and rolls her over so that their legs are both up in the air and it’s torquing her back and neck. That looks awesome. Back to Beth and off to Kelly who does her usual stuff including a spank and the screaming headscissors. Eve misses a charge but Kelly throws Natalya out anyway. Beth gets the Glam Slam and we’re done at 3:17.

Rating: D. Ok so let’s see. It’s taken us two PPVs and two Raw matches to get us to the point where we all knew it was going eventually: Beth beats up Kelly and pins her with the Glam Slam. Is there any reason it took us this long? I’m guessing Kelly somehow blames Eve because Kelly is the special angel that can’t do anything wrong or whatever so Eve has to turn out of it. Bad match but that’s expected.

Mark Henry vs. Great Khali

Khali only weighs 350lbs now. Before the match Henry hits Khali in the head with the world title and hits him with the Slam. Henry yells a lot and leaves while only sweating a few buckets, which is normal for him. No match.

Here’s Cena to get into the Cell which is halfway lowered. The fans pop big for Cena holding up the title. He talks about this Sunday and it’s going to be the first triple threat ever in the Cell. Cena talks about how this Sunday he’s going to use the Cell as a problem solver to prove he’s the best. He plays up the brutality of the match and says he doesn’t lose it Sunday.

This brings out Alberto as well as Punk in a sports coat for commentary on the next match.

John Cena vs. Christian

Yes we have 5 people on commentary tonight. Christian is launched into the ceiling quickly and Punk argues with Alberto almost immediately. Alberto yells and Punk says Alberto is half undressed. Christian takes over with high impact stuff but misses a swan dive. Cena fires off the shoulders but the Proto Bomb is countered. Killswitch doesn’t work either and there’s the Bomb. There’s the Shuffle but Christian runs before the AA can hit. They go to the floor and onto the table where Alberto jumps Punk. Christian gets a shot in on Cena but runs into the AA. And here’s Alberto for the DQ at 3:20.

Rating: C-. The stuff we got was ok but this was barely enough to grade. I don’t get how this really pushes forward the match but maybe they should have more than 13 days to promote the thing? That would make sense though so we’ll have to throw that explanation out the window. Not much to see here.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

If this actually happens….I can’t say I’d really be complaining. Before the match we get a recap of last week’s Jackman stuff. Ziggler goes right at him and Ryder is in trouble. Swagger is at ringside too. A splash in the corner misses for Dolph and his head cracks the buckle. Ryder pounds him down and does the Woo Woo Woo kick in the corner. Vickie is on the apron and the Rough Ryder misses. Swagger clotheslines Ryder on the ropes and the Zig Zag keeps the title on Ziggler at 2:03.

Post match the Vickie Family tries to beat Ryder down but Air Boom’s pyro messes up and they run out for the save. Teddy Long comes out and makes a six man. Vickie has until after the commercial to find a third man. If she can’t, it’s a handicap match.

Air Boom/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

There’s no third man nor Vickie when we come back so it’s 3-2. Swagger vs. Kofi to get us going and Kofi takes over quickly. Off to Bourne who doesn’t do as well because he’s Evan Bourne and it’s his job to be destroyed a lot. Swagger goes way old school and hooks on the Rings of Saturn. Kofi comes in off a hot tag and hits a cross body which isn’t nearly as good as most of his usual ones.

He does the jumping ten punches in the corner to Swagger and Vickie comes back with Mason Ryan with longer hair. Do was have a Vickie Family now? The African escapes a German from the All-American and brings in Ryder. Ryder gets to meet Ryan….who beats up Swagger instead and tags in Ziggler by slamming him into the ring. A spinning release Rock Bottom leaves Ziggler dead and the Rough Ryder pins Ziggler at 6:31.

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the ending was a good thing as we have a reason for a third match now, possibly at the PPV. Ryder has a chance to get a big push and this might be the right time to do it. Air Boom is getting some traction and that’s what they need to do at this point. Pretty boring match and it’s pretty clear that they weren’t all that into it out there.

Video on the Cell which we saw last week.

We run down the PPV card and Kelly defends against Beth again. JR: “Beth finally gets her opportunity.” I’m leaving that one alone.

Otunga talks to Christian, Vickie, Dolph and Cody about a lawsuit and says it’s important they’re all together in this.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Cena is out for commentary. CM pounds him down quickly and we head to the floor. Punk throws Del Rio in Cena’s direction and Johnny isn’t thrilled with it. Back inside Alberto takes Punk’s head off with a kick to take over. This is more of a brawl than a match. Punk pounds him down in the corner and then fires off the knee lifts. Del Rio lands an enziguri to send Punk to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Del Rio escaping the GTS and getting two on a DDT. A kick to the head gets two and it’s time for arm work. Punk’s arm goes into the post and a dropkick gets two. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo freaks. Back in a big kick misses for Punk and Del Rio stuns the arm. It’s good that he’s showing psychology here which is something you rarely miss with Del Rio. That’s such a nice breath of air.

They slug it out and Punk sells the arm by shaking it a bit. A leg lariat/kick to the face takes Del Rio down and there’s the knee/bulldog combination but the bulldog is countered. A Codebreaker to the arm gets two and Alberto is fired up. Punk fires off some kicks and that’s enough for the pin (yes, a non-finisher got a pin) at 12:02.

Rating: C. Not bad here and the ending is a nice touch here but I’m not entirely sure what the point of it was. I mean…Del Rio looks totally weak here which means he’s probably going to win the title back on Sunday because that’s how WWE rolls. Nothing impressive here but it could have been a lot worse I guess.

The Cell lowers and Ricardo is trapped inside with all three of them. He takes both finishers and the Super Best Friends escape finishers before Del Rio smacks them both with a chair and lays them out.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. Two weeks is not enough time to set up a PPV and that’s all there is to it. I mean there’s nothing else to say about it and the build for this Sunday’s show proves it. The show doesn’t feel developed at all and it’s like “hey let’s just throw everyone into the Cell and hope for the best.” The match should be ok but there’s no reason for this to be in the cage. Tonight’s show felt like it was trying to piece together a PPV using glue and paperclips and that’s not something I’d ever pay $45 to see. Weak Raw and a horrible buildup show.

Results
Cody Rhodes won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Natlya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly Kelly
John Cena b. Christian via disqualification when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Zach Ryder – Zig Zag
Air Boom/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mason Ryan – Rough Ryder to Ziggler
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – High Kick

Final Battle 2006
Date: December 23, 2006
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Lenny Leonard, Dave Prazak

To say I don’t know much about ROH would be an understatement. I know it’s the biggest indy company out there and that’s about it. This is the second show of theirs that I’ve done so I’m at least trying. This is one of their bigger shows of the year and the name comes from that it’s the last show of the year. This is also three and a half hours long so it’s going to be a long night. I’ll do what I can as far as knowing names, but I make no promises about having a clue as to what’s going on. Let’s get to it.

We see Homicide and Danielson walking into the arena. That’s the main event.

And Santa Claus is here. Ok then with an elf. The fans recognize him apparently. There’s another elf in his bag. They throw out t-shirts until some guys come in and beat the heck out of them with chairs and some nice double team stuff. Ah they’re the Briscoes. I knew they looked familiar. They want the Kings of Wrestling, more commonly known as Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. Ah apparently those were ROH students. That’s what I was betting on.

Jimmy Jacobs talks about being a stranger in this city. He talks about wanting to hurt Colt Cabana and BJ Whitmer. He loved this chick named Lacey (not that Lacey. This one has talent) and Colt slept with her and BJ messed her face up. He’s teaming with Brent Albright later against those two. This would lead into the Age of the Fall about 9 months later which is what got me to somewhat follow ROH.

The fans are chanting OLE so I’m betting on a luchador. And I’m right.

El Generico vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Davey Richards vs. Christopher Daniels

To say the fans don’t like Rave is an understatement. It’s nice to hear some good solid insults unlike a WWE show. A DIE JIMMY DIE chant starts up. Ok then. Richards is a big deal now and allegedly is the future of the company. He comes out to Runnin With The Devil so I can’t complain. This is a four corner survival match which I’m guessing means elimination rules? Daniels is a tag champion here.

The fans like fallen angels apparently. Maybe this is the Daniels I always hear about being awesome. There’s a fairly hot chick with him named Allison Danger so I can’t complain. His entrance takes a LONG time. She’s a girl scout and the fans want cookies. That’s creative at least. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and we just now hear the announcers. Richards and Generico start.

This is two outside and two inside. We stall for a LONG time to start, namely due to Generico continuously shouting OLE! We’ll be getting a year in review kind of thing also which is a major plus for me. We hear about Rave having a heel hook that got Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) to tap out.

Richards is confused by Generico. Hey I’m thinking like Richards! Daniels’ partner is Matt Sydal, more commonly known as Evan Bourne. Danger is the sister of Steve Corino. Dang. Scratch the elimination part as it’s first pinfall wins. That kind of makes no sense but whatever. Rave vs. Daniels now. Daniels wins. Like, wins a lot. Not the match, just the fight. Wow I worded that one badly didn’t I?

I never liked Rave in TNA and I think I’m seeing why again here. Danger gets the fans to cheer. That’s what a manager is supposed to do partially so she’s doing her job. Richards is fun to watch if nothing else. A German on Generico gets two. Best Moonsault Ever is broken up.

They’re doing a good job of keeping it at about three people in there which is nice instead of the usual two pairings these devolve into. Rave is being smart and just letting these three fight. I’m not entirely sure why the crowd is this into it though. It’s not that great. Generico hits his brainbuster on the turnbuckle on Richards, but Rave made a tag when they were in the corner.

He slips in and gets his heel hook for the submission. Pay no attention to the total lack of tagging for the five minutes before this. He gets on the mic and complains about respect but Nigel McGuinness comes out and slaps him.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it wasn’t anything great. It just came off as being all over the place and lost its structure about 10 minutes in. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that good. Having the heel win the opener is a bit of a head scratcher too but that’s fine I suppose. Just nothing to make me that into the show.

Adam Pearce vs. Ricky Reyes

Pearce is the current NWA World Champion but that hadn’t happened yet. Pearce is kind of a throwback to old heels but the doesn’t have a lot of the talent to do so. He dedicates the night to Jim Cornette for no apparent reason.

He guarantees Homicide doesn’t leave with the world title. Both of these guys have seconds here, one of which is named Shane Hangadorn and the other of which is named Julius Smokes. Pearce apparently looks like Repo Man. This is impromptu even though both came down in their ring attire and they had graphics ready for their names. Sure why not.

Apparently if Homicide loses here he quits. Hagadorn throws something to Pearce and he blasts Reyes with it for the pin. Short and pretty uninteresting. Smokes gets beaten up too.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all but to be fair it was fairly short so I can’t complain much. I’ve never thought much of Pearce and this Smokes guy is getting very annoying very quickly. I’m not sure what the point of this was but it didn’t work that well.

Jimmy Jacobs/Brent Albright vs. BJ Whitmer/Colt Cabana

Cabana’s music is catchy if nothing else. It’s a brawl immediately as we’re told Albright is a gun for hire. Well that explains why he’s in there. We get a series of 2-1s until we get to…more 2-1s. I don’t think there are faces and heels here or anything as they might be all faces. Not sure though. I think Whitmer and Cabana are the default heels but I’m not sure.

We almost get a table spot but Albright makes the save. Whitmer does a cool thing as he suplexes both himself and Jacobs to the floor. It’s better than it sounds. We haven’t had anything resembling a coherent match as it’s all just a big mess so far. Not bad though. Finally we get Whitmer vs. Jacobs who used to be tag partners. They used to be tag champions if that means anything.

Albright hooks a crossface minus the arm trap on Whitmer while looks good. Jacobs is completely obsessed with Lacey but she doesn’t care for him romantically. Welcome to my world kid. Cabana hasn’t been in the match legally yet and we’re a good ways into it. Cabana just comes in after that and hits a sweet moonsault.

He’s actually dominating with a move called the Butt Butt. It’s like a headbutt but with the…you get the idea. Yeah it’s odd. Actually Goldust used to do that. It breaks down into a total mess until Albright just goes off on everyone and powerbombs Whitmer through the table at ringside. Cabana gets destroyed by rolling Germans so Jacobs can hit a senton off the top for the pin.

Rating: B-. Again not bad and while it’s better than the opener, it’s still nothing great. To be fair though there hasn’t been much build up to these matches although I’d bet on the main events to be pretty well put together. This wasn’t terrible but it certainly wasn’t great either. Decent enough match though.

Ad for ROH’s website where they have WWE and TNA DVDs. Ok then.

Kings of Wrestling vs. Briscoe Brothers

The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli in case you weren’t sure. They’re actually the tag champions there again now which is a bit surprising. For awhile they had the ROH, CZW and CHIKARA tag belts at the same time. There was a CZW vs. ROH story for a good part of 2006 which is how Hero got to ROH permanently.

He has his new agent, Larry Sweeney, with him. Claudio might be going to WWE. He talks about signing a contract and was written out of storylines, but he didn’t go for some reason. They’re heels here but the fans love them. The Briscoes though are the most popular team ever in ROH so there we are. And we have no commentary. Ok then. One of the Briscoes hits a huge dive onto the Kings.

Ah there’s the commentary. Alright Jay has the tattoo on his back. Got it. The Briscoes are kind of like a bigger and more intense Hardys, just they’re less interesting. It’s dueling chants time. In a nice move Castagnoli hits a European Uppercut to the back of Jay. Claudio had been the abandoner of the company back in the CZW war in case you care. Both of the Kings are really tall.

I always have issues filling in time when a face is getting beaten down by nothing that impressive. Hero makes a nice save to stop the hot tag. Nice one. Hero hooks a WEIRD hold where he hooks the arms of Jay behind his own back and lifts them up with his feet. FREAKING OW! Mark finally comes in off the hot tag and of course he tidies up a bit. He didn’t do enough to classify that as cleaning.

Claudio hits a top rope European Uppercut and a Riccola Bomb (Arm Trap Sitout Powerbomb) for two. You know I wonder what would happen if you tagged one of your opponents. Would it be legal? Hard to say. Ok not really but stupid stuff like this pops into my head at times. Sweeney has been WORTHLESS here. I forgot he was there. That’s never a good sign.

A Doomsday Rana (Use your imaginations) and a Frog Splash get two on Claudio. I would have expected that to be the finish actually. In an insane looking move, Claudio has a Briscoe hanging both ways around his neck and spins them around into a half powerbomb half electric chair. Just awesome looking as far as a power display goes.

That of only gets two. Everybody busts out finishers and all four are down. GREAT sequence. Claudio kicks out at two as everyone is more or less dead. We’re closing in on twenty minutes here so I can’t blame them. With Sweeney on the apron, Claudio accidentally blasts Hero in the head with a briefcase and a Shooting Star/Guillotine Legdrop combination ends it. Dang I wish the ending had been cleaner.

Rating: B+. Fun match here as these guys just beat the heck out of each other. The one thing though is that ending. After that much they had to use a weapon shot for it? I’m not into that. Also Sweeney was more or less forgotten until the very end which is rather irritating to me for some reason. Still though, very fun match.

Post match, Claudio thanks the fans for the cheers but says he’s not going to WWE. He says just and see what the Kings of Wrestling have in store for the coming year. Sweeney then gets on the mic and says no because Claudio broke up the team and it’s over. Ok then.

With Claudio alone in the ring, here’s Samoa Joe. Joe is, in a word, huge in ROH. This is the Joe that stormed into TNA and took the place over. How did they mess him up again? Joe tells him to get out of his ring. For fear of being eaten by Joe, Claudio agrees. Joe makes a challenge to Pro Wrestling Noah and in particular Misawa.

He says bring on anyone from London or Japan but on February 16, there’s going to be a fight in New York. Nigel McGuinness comes out and accepts the challenge. And here’s Jimmy Rave to beat up McGuinness. Joe slaps him around and we’re going to get Rave vs. Nigel later on.

It’s intermission time so Adam Pearce and Shane Hagadorn harass Gary Michael Capetta who looks to be about 90. They must have edited most of  intermission as we’re already back.

Jimmy Rave vs. Nigel McGuinness

Well that didn’t take long to sanction and sign did it? It’s weird seeing Wolfe with spiked hair. He’s ridiculously popular though, just like in TNA so of course he can’t be pushed right? They shake left hands for some odd reason. That’s different. This isn’t much but to be fair they have a feud going so this works.

I still don’t get the appeal of Rave though. Nigel does an insane submission hold where he locks Rave’s arm around his leg and traps the other arm behind Nigel’s back and bends backwards which looked like it was going to rip it off. The crowd goes oooooo at that. Nigel is apparently a big deal here. Nigel takes his head off with a clothesline but it gets two. Oh I’m sorry: it was a lariat.

Tower of London hits and Nigel isn’t sure what to do. Rave hits a Pedigree for one. Rave counters a Hulking Up Nigel into a Crippler Crossface. As impressive as Rave has been, I still just don’t care about him. Nigel hits a Tower of London (Diamond Cutter) onto the apron, which would be about the same as the mat wouldn’t it? It gets two either way so it doesn’t really matter.

And then after getting destroyed for about five minutes, Rave gets the heel hook and Nigel taps despite never having his leg worked on at all. I HATE moves like that. If that’s the case, why in the world would he wait almost fifteen minutes before going for it? At least with a strike like Sweet Chin Music it’s a knockout move.

This is just a submission which makes a part of the body hurt. Why go for the Crossface earlier? That makes NO SENSE. It’s completely anti-psychology and that’s just irritating. Plus it’s Jimmy Rave so it’s even more annoying. Rave wants a world title shot.

Rating: B-. Totally annoying ending aside, this was a pretty solid match I guess. There were a ton of near falls but you could see the ending coming a mile away with about three minutes to go. Nigel looks dominant but let’s push Rave because…well just because! Didn’t like the ending at all but the rest was good.

Danielson is getting ready.

Matt Sydal/Shingo/CIMA vs. Delirious/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong

Sydal is more commonly known as Evan Bourne as I mentioned above. Shingo is from Dragon Gate and CIMA might be as well. His name is pronounced Shima so this could lead to some misspellings. Also, I’m not capitalizing his name again. It’s the same thing despite what some would have you believe. Delirious is….yeah.

Aries is the only two time ROH World Champion so he’s something special here. Strong is a guy with something like 16 ways to hit a backbreaker. This is under Dragon Gate Rules which aren’t explained. Strong, Aries and Sydal were in a team called Generation Next together.

Apparently you don’t have to tag to switch off but you have to be on offense. Ok that makes sense. Delirious goes into a trance and goes insane once the bell rings. He’s definitely interesting if nothing else. He’s great in the ring if nothing else. He starts with Sydal who I’ll likely call Bourne at least once. This is your usual insane Japanese match and apparently the fans like Cima.

There isn’t much to talk about here other than it’s just general insanity the whole time. This is what you call a spotfest with some mild wrestling involved. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s not comparable to traditional matches. It’s weird seeing Sydal being considered a serious competitor rather than a spot monkey or jobber.

The fans like both teams. Aries is getting beaten down pretty fiercely. I think the team with the Japanese guys and Sydal are the heels even though Daniels, Sydal’s partner, was ridiculously popular. Fisherman’s suplex gets two on Aries. Strong gets the tag and comes in and he and Delirious clean house.

Cima is getting his head handed to him. With everyone brawling on the floor, Sydal goes up top and the crowd just rises to their feet. Great visual there. Delirious hits Shadows Over Hell (Splash to the back of a guy not on the mat) is followed by a 450 from Aries. This is totally insane. Cobra Stretch, Delirious’ submission, is broken up. Cima hits a package piledriver on Delirious for the pin.

Rating: B. This falls into that gray arena of entertaining but bad as far as flow or anything like that goes. Then again that’s kind of the point of the Dragon Gate promotion. This was supposed to be completely insane and it more or less was. It was fun though so I can’t complain much at all.

Everybody helps everybody up in a nice moment. Not everything has to be some epic storyline.

Homicide is ready.

Jack Evans returns in 2007.

ROH World Title: Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson

We have 54 minutes left in this tape. Let’s see if these two are as good as they’re said to be. We’re in Homicide’s hometown so he’s WAY over. It’s a good thing his first name isn’t commonly known. It might be hard to take a guy named Nelson seriously as s street thug. Danielson’s Final Countdown intro is cool too so I’ll give him that. He certainly has his fans too.

I’ve heard great things about both guys in this company so show me what you’ve got. We get the big match intros which are always fun. Danielson is heel here because he more or less has to be. We stall forever as the fans chant ring the bell. Danielson flips him off instead of shaking his hand like the Code of Honor stipulates. Here we go. About forty six and a half minutes to go in the tape at the bell so we’ve got a LOT of time here.

Some guy shows up to do commentary but his name is incomprehensible. We get a long feeling out sequence and Homicide takes off his bandana. Homicide has apparently had some shady decisions in title matches and if he doesn’t win here he’s gone, more or less saying he wins. At least I think so as he came to TNA around this time.

Smokes, the guy that got hurt earlier, isn’t here due to Pearce and Hagadorn. Homicide has a bad shoulder apparently thanks to Danielson last night. Danielson has tights like Regal used to wear. We have a lot of quick holds as they try to gain control. Apparently Danielson has a bad shoulder too.

No one really has an advantage for more than a few seconds here so we’re really still feeling each other out here. Apparently in a previous title match Homicide was getting hit in the head a lot and the referee stopped it which he disagreed with. The surfboard continues to look completely insane every time I see it.

This is wrestler vs. brawler here which is always an interesting dynamic. We get a slingshot suplex as Danielson is in control at this point. Scratch that as Homicide takes over. We hit the floor and Danielson is in trouble. We get the I HAVE TIL FIVE thing which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Three Amigos takes over for Homicide as Eddie had been dead just over a year at this point.

And at about 11 minutes in, Pearce and Hagadorn run in for the DQ. Are you kidding me? Danielson leaves with the belt as Homicide’s Crew makes the save. The crowd LOSES IT over this as even the commentators are saying YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Apparently they are as the referee says no way it ends that way and let’s keep going!

Here we go again as we’re back at it. Oh and the running in heels hit a spike shoulderbreaker on Homicide’s bad shoulder so it’s hurt now. I don’t get the point of the run in at all here. At least it happened I guess you would say early on in the match rather than later so that’s good. It’s his right arm if you’re curious.

Smokes is at ringside now. Oh joy. Danielson is in control now as you would expect him to be. Danielson goes for a flying headbutt and gets caught in a Diamond Cutter (Yes I know it’s properly called an Ace Crusher. If you want to argue which name is more famous I’d love to hear it) Also, assuming the headbutt was launched when Homicide was on the mat, dang he got up fast.

Homicide speeds things up and dives into the second row through the ropes in a cool looking spot. Now Danielson’s shoulder is hurt. This has been a very back and forth match. Danielson gets caught in an armbar but gets to the ropes for the escape. I love that jumping European Uppercut off the top. A crossface chickenwing goes on but more ropes are grabbed.

They trade strikes and hit the floor. Homicide slides back in and hits the ropes so he can….slide back out. Sure why not. Danielson hits a dive into the first few rows that looked great. Can we get rid of that Smokes idiot? He’s getting on my nerves. Danielson starts the series of elbows to the head like he did in the previous match but it doesn’t work.

There’s the crossface chickenwing and the body scissors in the middle of the ring. In a cool spot, the arm comes down a third time but as the referee goes for the bell, Homicide grabs his leg. And Smokes of course has to pour water on Homicide. Seriously, can someone shoot this guy?

Danielson doesn’t let go on the five count so Homicide just gets up. Uh, why didn’t he DO THAT EARLIER? Danielson gets Cattle Mutilation. One thing I want to know: where in the world did he come up with that name? Did he throw that on one day and was thinking about what would happen if he did it to a cow?

He hooks it three times but Homicide won’t tap. He throws in more elbows to the head but he stays in it. Homicide gets the Cop Killer (Vertebreaker for you WCW fans) for a LONG two but Danielson grabs the ropes. Homicide pulls a Randy Savage and goes for the ring bell which leads nowhere.

And then Danielson gets a low blow and small package for two and then Homicide hits a lariat for the pin. Seriously, that might have been the most out of nowhere ending ever. The ring mostly fills up for a celebration. Now can we please kill Julius Smokes?

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match and well worth seeing. There were some moments I didn’t like, but they were few and far between. Homicide winning was pretty clear but it came off well. They built up to a great match and I liked what I saw. Danielson is still overrated, but this was very good stuff. Homicide just doesn’t feel like a world champion to me, but I was impressed. Solid match and worth seeing.

Danielson hands him the belt and Homicide makes his acceptance speech. The remaining eleven minutes are him celebrating and highlights of the year which mean nothing to me since I don’t know who these people are.

Overall Rating: A-. Again I liked this show a lot. There’s one bad match and the rest is all at least good with the main event being great. This was a great show to close things out with for the year and it came off great with a big time title win. This is a great look at the company as you have a title match, a big angle, a lot of high flying, some good mat work and submission stuff in front of a white hot albeit small crowd. This was a great show and well worth checking out.

Ring of Honor
Date: September 24, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

This is the debut episode under the new owners of Sinclair Broadcasting and since I get the channel that it airs on, I’ll be reviewing it weekly now. I won’t be doing it live but it’ll be up by the end of Saturday. This should be interesting as I’ve heard nothing but how great ROH is and now I can watch it. I’m not sure how great it’ll be but maybe it’s worth seeing. Anyway, I don’t watch a ton of ROH but I know of it and follow it to a certain degree. Let’s get to it.

Please keep in mind I haven’t watched an ROH show in about a year so if I don’t get a reference or miss something big, please bear with me.

The arena looks kind of small and it’s dark like the old WCW arenas were but with better production values obviously.

Kevin Kelly welcomes us to the show and announces the main event of the show as being for the tag titles with Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team (Haas/Benjamin) defending against the Kings of Wrestling (both in WWE now). He also brings out the returning Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) as the analyst. Nigel talks about how he’s here for the boys in the back and how he wanted to be a part of this.

Adam Cole and Kyle O’Riley (Futureshock) says they’re going to take over the tag division.

The Bravados (didn’t catch their first names) say they’re going to destroy Futureshock and parents shouldn’t let their kids watch. These teams had a match before and one of the Bravados was injured so there’s a story to this.

Futureshock vs. The Bravados

Both teams appear to be faces and the Bravados are Cherokees. Their names are Harlem and Lance and Kevin Kelly says their win/loss record isn’t great. They’re shaking hands to follow the Code of Honor (not defined here) and it’s Adam vs. Harlem to start. Ok so Adam has the long hair. Got it. Futureshock uses some speed moves to take out Harlem and it breaks down quickly as Lance doesn’t have much more success. They hook a weird move where the Bravados’ legs are intertwined and both Futureshock guys hook armbars.

The Bravados make a blind tag (Kelly: He didn’t see that one.) and take over on Cole. I have no idea which Bravado is which but one gets a Justin Bieber chant. Yeah he does look a bit like him and the pin spotted trunks and boots don’t help. Ok Harlem looks like Bieber and Lance has long hair. Got it also. There’s a Tweet of the Week which makes fun of Russo’s booking by saying “You should watch ROH because it’s not 1997.”

The Bravados hit a double team superkick/German suplex combo called Gentlemen’s Choice for two. Adam tries to fight out of the corner and eventually rolls through to O’Riley. He’s part of Team Richards, meaning he trains with Davey Richards, meaning I’m probably not going to like him at all. He uses a double dragon screw leg whip (he whips one Bravado and that Bravado whips his partner because letting go is too much of a stretch I guess) and a double dropkick takes the Bravados down for two.

Futureshock does a bunch of combo suplexes and Adam hits a suicide dive to take both Bravados out. A missile dropkick off the apron puts a Bravado down and top rope cross body gets two for both guys. They take out Harlem with something that has a name but I couldn’t understand Kelly. It’s Total Elimination but with a clothesline rather than a spin kick and it gets the pin at 7:20.

Rating: B-. I think I can sum up this entire series in the following statement: if you like the ROH style, you’ll like this and if you don’t, you’re not going to be that impressed. There’s some good stuff here but a lot of the moves are ones where the other team clearly had to work with them for it to work and that drives me crazy. It was entertaining but I wouldn’t call it great. That can be good but it’s not going to get to a higher level than that with this style, at least not with me.

We get a report from Best in the World, a show back in I think June. Uh yeah….shouldn’t we be seeing new stuff instead of clips from old shows? It focuses on a four team elimination match won by Haas/Benjamin and followed by a post match beatdown by the Briscos. Now we talk about the world title match where Davey Richards finally won the title by beating Eddie Edwards. Never been a fan of Richards and I don’t think I’ll start now. This eats up like 6 minutes, or 10% of the show.

Here’s a segment called Inside Ring of Honor which explains the Code of Honor. Jim Cornette says that it’s a self imposed code. The idea is you shake hands pre and post match as a show of respect etc. It’s not mandatory but the guys that don’t use it aren’t that popular. In other words, take away the aspect of hatred for the sake of a Code and respect. That’s the same issue that TNA has far too often and it gets old.

Jay Lethal vs. El Generico for the TV Title next week. Lethal says he tried to be someone else for years (Savage) but here it’s about competition and not politics. He’s taking the TV Title so he can get the respect of the fans.

Since it’s been long enough since we’ve had an actual match, here’s a second look at the elimination tag match. Is there a point to this? I mean, it’s like an ad for the website/DVD instead of talking about the show itself. I don’t get this. WE SAW THIS TEN MINUTES AGO. This is eating up like 5 more minutes. They do know they only have an hour a week right???

Nigel interviews a fan who says the champs will retain.

Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It’s annoying but I guess it’s something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.

There’s the bell and it’s been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.

Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can’t hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.

Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there’s a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.

A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it’s broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude’s back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but dude, this was the best they could do? This is supposed to be the big and epic tag team division that is the best in the world? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not a classic or anything at all. I’ve definitely seen better stuff on Raw or Smackdown this year. I saw a match live that was better than this and I can’t even remember who were partnering with Orton and Christian.

They’re off the air at 2:58. We didn’t even get the whole hour. WOW.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s a stretch. This was one of the least inspiring debuts I’ve seen in a very long time. On a 58 minute show (whatsupwitdat?) we had 22 minutes of wrestling and 36 minutes of talking/highlight packages. Now I could understand that if you’re introducing characters etc, but that isn’t what they did. We got two packages OF THE EXACT SAME THING, a quick promo for a TV Title match next week and a video on Richards who won’t be here for two weeks.

If this is the debut, you need to bring out the champ for it, not the tag champs. Wrestling fans see the world champion as the top guy in any company. I don’t care if it’s different in ROH, it’s not different for fans. This was their coming out party and it didn’t work for the most part. Not a fan so far, but this was their first show so we’ll see how it goes next time. Bad show.

Results
Futureshock b. The Bravados – Ride the Lightning to Harlem
Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team b. The Kings of Wrestling – Wrestling’s Greatest Finisher to Hero

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re in the Mark Henry Era here on Smackdown which is still weird to hear. It’s 9 days before Hell in a Cell which is still stupid to hear as we’re five days past the previous PPV. Orton has already said he’s cashing in his rematch in the Cell which is a stretch but it’s the only match they have given the circumstances. There isn’t much else to say about this show so let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is rain when you’re supposed to be having a vacation.

We open with everyone at ringside and Johnny Ace in the ring, drawing a lot of boos. HHH isn’t here tonight so he’s brought out everyone to talk about the issues HHH has caused. He mentions the firings and says that he’s changed his mind and HHH hasn’t lost control. On Monday he saw determination in HHH’s eyes so everything is cool. HHH will be here later.

Ace brings out Henry. Henry says it took him 15 years to win the title and he’s not going to lose it for 15 more years. He calls out various people for not believing in him and here’s HHH. Nice to see that they let Ace have a full assembly since HHH was five minutes late. Henry won’t shake HHH’s hand. Well to be fair he has the mic in one hand and the belt in the other. He does hand the boss the mic though.

Before the Game can say anything, here’s Christian to interrupt. I guess he brought his own mic. He sucks up to HHH and says he appreciates how Smackdown has been treated. Christian talks about how he’s more marketable than Henry. He asks if you can picture Henry’s face on a box of cereal. I’d eat that. Christian asks for one more match and says you know who is going to choke in his match.

HHH talks about how he’s in charge in a scary calm voice. Later on tonight there’s going to be a lumberjack match with Christian vs. You Know Who (Voldermort?), presumably for the title with the winner facing Orton at Hell in a Cell. Shouldn’t that be the other way around? Why does the champion have to qualify for the title match at the PPV? HHH leaves and Henry gets in Christian’s face, sending the Canadian scampering.

Sheamus vs. Heath Slater

Cole calls it Ronald McDonald vs. the girl from Wendy’s. My money is on the Burger King in a run-in. Sheamus pounds him down and hits those forearms to the chest in the ropes to a nice reaction. Slater fires back with a neckbreaker for two and pounds away a bit. He slaps Sheamus in the back of the head and I’ll give you two guesses as to what happens next. Powerslam, top rope shoulder, Brogue Kick, 4:32.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but Slater’s selling made up for some of the boring factors of it. Sheamus might be the next challenger for Henry which could be interesting as the big brawls they have haven’t had a clean winner either time so it might be worth watching. Slater is officially a jobber to the stars and that’s what he’s best at.

Christian tries to get Khali’s help in the title match later. After a big rant about how Khali would want to face a small person, Khali’s response is “you are small.”

Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel

Booker calls Barrett a British nobleman and a former bare knuckle pugilist. Barrett beats Gabriel down quickly and the fans are almost silent. Gabriel avoids and shot and we head to the floor with Gabriel hitting a pretty sweet front flip dive over the top to take out Barrett. The kicks take Barrett down but he breaks up the 450 and Wasteland ends this at 2:32. That wasn’t quite a squash but it was a pretty quick pin for Barrett.

Orton vs. Rhodes tonight….again.

Orton says he doesn’t want to comment about Rhodes. He talks about where he’s in 9 days and when he comes back, he’ll have the World Heavyweight Championship.

Video on how evil the Cell is.

Christian tries to recruit Big Zeke and insults him. Just like with Khali, Christian leaves thinking he has a partner.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

I forgot how good looking Kaitlyn can be. She starts with Nattie and this goes badly for Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn gets in a shot to Beth and brings in AJ who does a bit better. Shining Wizard gets two and everything breaks down. Beth is against someone not named Kelly though so the Glam Slam ends this at 2:04. More or less just a squash.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Cody is sent to the floor quickly by a fired up Orton. Orton has a bad left knee but because he’s intelligent, he doesn’t tape it up. Cody goes after it anyway so it wasn’t successful but he tried at least. The knee goes around the post and Rhodes unhooks a buckle. Using the distraction Cody gets in a shot to the head with the mask for two. Orton clocks him with the mask at 3:28 for a DQ, even though it’s been established that the mask is legal.

Rating: C-. Not much to say here as the whole point was for the beatdown that’s coming post match but probably will be edited out. More on that in a minute. The psychology here at least made sense as Rhodes went after the injured body part. It sounds simple but how many people just don’t get that idea? Anyway this was too short to mean much but it wasn’t bad while it lasted.

Post match Orton goes crazy and beats down Cody with his usual stuff. Now what you won’t see is the ending of this beating. Orton pounded away on Cody with the mask and whatever else he could find. He hit Rhodes with the bell, and this was the result:

http://i52.tinypic.com/2mnorj9.jpg

From a friend that was at the show, that was hardway and the announce table was covered in blood.

Christian offers Sheamus a potato because he’s Irish. It’s a peace offering for Sheamus to help him later in the show. Christian offers him the first shot and Sheamus says Christian can count on him. Christian leaves and Sheamus bites into the potato and spits it out, saying it’s from Idaho and not Ireland.

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Khali has the happy music back and gets a decent pop on his entrance. Mahal says lay down and Khali shakes his head no. The Plunge doesn’t work and Mahal gets a DDT to take over. Khali fights back with clotheslines and the Plunge ends this at 2:05. This wasn’t much.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This one has blonde hair so he’s the real one. When they’re near each other, the easiest way to tell is the fake one is taller. They shake hands so it’s pretty clear that he’s a good guy. We talk about how Bryan has fallen off a bit since winning MITB. He grabs a surfboard but Cara makes the rope. An enziguri puts Bryan down and Booker talks about how Cara has black marks on his boots. Josh says Booker said the same thing about the other one last week so Booker is a little confused.

Cara tries a Tajiri elbow and it looks like it’s edited for a botch. Out to the floor with Cara hitting a rana off the apron to send Bryan into the steps. Back in and Cara goes up but is shoved off by…Sin Cara. The impostor kicks Bryan in the head and hits a bit Swanton Bomb for the pin at 3:00. That one had more torque on it than any one Jeff Hardy has done in years.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t anything great but some of Cara’s high spots were cool, especially the swanton which was really cool looking. I’m still not sure where Bryan is supposed to go after all this but maybe a heel turn or something is coming up for him. I don’t think he’s holding the case until Mania but it’s a nice thing for a possibility.

Christian knocks on Orton’s door and Ryder comes out. The Canadian tries to recruit Ryder but he says it would be a conflict of interest. Ryder’s phone rings and it’s Hugh Jackman. Orton is in on…something. Christian leaves without knocking again.

Air Boom vs. Usos

Bourne starts with Jey (he has the chest tattoo) but it’s off to Jimmy who hits a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Booker talks about being in Harlem Heat and Bourne gets beaten down as is his custom. Kofi gets the hot tag and hits the top rope chop but Jimmy sends him into the corner. The cross body hits and it’s Trouble in Paradise time. Jey breaks it up, letting Jimmy hit a superkick to put Kofi down. Trouble in Paradise sets up Air Bourne for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to argue with a pair of high fliers against some Samoans. That’s old school style and it worked fine here. Air Boom is getting some traction and I’m hoping they have a lengthy reign with them. I like the speed teams like them and as odd as it sounds, having a name has helped them a lot. Fun little match and I still don’t get how Kofi can jump that high.

Raw ReBound eats up about three minutes and it’s only about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Mark Henry

This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. At least two of the NXT rookies are at ringside plus Watson. Make that all three of them are there. Henry looks sad during Big Match Intros. The bell rings after a break and Christian wants to run but doesn’t want to run at O’Neil, Kingston and Bryan. Christian can’t do anything with Henry so Mark throws him to the floor. Big Zeke says for everyone to stay back then knees Christian in the ribs.

Henry throws Christian into the air like on a backdrop but lets Christian crash down. Off to the nerve hold and then a bear hug. Christian pounds away with all of the offense he can get in, culminating in a middle rope dropkick to put Henry down. He shoves Christian off with ease and Christian is scared. Killswitch is broken up and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner but Henry drops down, only to hit mat. They head to the floor and Henry shoves all the faces around when they jump on him. Christian tries to run but Sheamus pops up to throw him back in for the World’s Strongest Slam to end things at 6:19.

Rating: C+. I know I’ve used that grade a lot tonight but this was the kind of win Henry needed: Christian isn’t losing anything here and Henry looks dominant going into the Cell with his first successful title defense. I have no idea what the point of the lumberjacks were here and Sheamus tossing him back in could have worked fine in a regular match. Good logic here though.

Post match Orton comes out to fight Henry and dropkicks him to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With eight matches on a show and nothing being bad plus almost everything having a purpose, it’s hard to say this wasn’t at least a good show. It’s not a great show or anything but for a period where almost everything is a transitional show towards the HIAC PPV, that’s all you can do really. This was a good show, but having two weeks to set up a PPV is way too short, especially with not a ton of time to set up the last one.

Results
Sheamus b. Heath Slater – Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel – Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Swanton Bomb
Air Boom b. The Usos – Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian – World’s Strongest Slam

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I’ve never been a fan of that but that’s just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It’s of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he’s not going to fight at BFG even if he’s in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.

Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let’s do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn’t seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and says the match will happen.

Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.

Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we’re in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.

She grinds onto Mickie’s face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she’s changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.

Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.

Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff’s hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he’s here if Jeff needs him.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse’s football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.

Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let’s Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn’t a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash’s chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C. Not bad but Kash vs. Sorensen is something that should be over already. They had a three match series and Sorensen won the thing. What’s the point in continuing it now? Aries probably needed to get a clean win here but I see the idea of having him win with some shenanigans. Not bad but nothing great. Sorensen can jump though.

Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.

Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he’s afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we’re not allowed to watch.

Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he’d be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.

In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.

Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn’t want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it’s because Kurt knows he’s the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don’t ever say that again and leaves.

Here’s Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here’s Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn’t sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn’t going to work. For 13 years now he’s given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he’s going to become world champion.

Angle implies he’s gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it’s Storm. Here’s the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he’s not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn’t turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it’s happening. I guess it is happening.

Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam

There’s no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it’s off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we’re in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling…eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He’s making fun of Van Dam if that wasn’t clear.

Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake….for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.

Rating: C. I kind of liked the idea of this match as Anderson couldn’t get the win against the numbers game. The attacker of Rob isn’t a huge issue as it’s pretty clear it was Lynn and Ray, which is fine as it makes sense. Not bad here but it was a bit of a stretch to have Ray kick out of the swanton and the shot off the top from Lynn, although that’s a minor complaint.

Storm says he’s happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he’ll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn’t win the Series.

Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode

Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won’t wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there’s nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ’s name, there’s going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.

After a break they’re STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.

Angle is with Steiner and says he’ll beat Storm tonight because of the training he’s been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.

Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they’re not his enemies and to calm down.

Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that’s Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.

Bischoff tells Hogan he’ll find a loophole. Hogan says he’s got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn’t want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.

Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can’t break. Yeah Kurt’s forearm/elbow is bleeding but it’s nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt’s shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.

Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here’s Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.

Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here’s Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt

Rating: B. This was getting good until the end which is probably the best way they could have gone. I still think Storm costs Roode the title at the PPV which is both good and bad as their feud is pretty much guaranteed at some point but they need to let Roode win the title and have a moment first to set up a slow burn heel turn for Storm. Good TV match here until the pretty obvious ending.

Roode holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the pacing problems are back. There were two stretches tonight with over half an hour between matches. In short, that is not something that should happen. With TNA’s roster as big as it is, that should never be a problem. You could throw anything out there to bridge one of those gaps. The TV Title was won in late May and has been defended twice since, once in June and once in August. You could throw that out there. Maybe the Pope or someone like that.

But no, instead we need to spend THREE segments on AJ vs. Daniels to set up their 900th match on PPV and have a long segment with Ink Inc beating up the tag champs. The wrestling, what little there was, was just ok and the talking was nothing special other than to show that it should be Storm challenging for the title and not Roode. Not their best effort here but they added to BFG so points for that.

Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher – Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen – Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson – Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest

Wham Bam Bodyslam
Host: Ted DiBiase
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Stan Lane

Another Coliseum Video here that has no particular reason at all to be done here. Since it’s a pointless tape with nothing special that I recall about it at all, that means it’s time for a review! Let’s get to it.

Looks to be from 94-95. Ted promises us a special feature with Doink and Dink. What did I do to deserve this?

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Tatanka is part of the Million Dollar Team so this is after Summerslam 94. We’re in Albany it seems. The racial stereotype tries to talk but gets cut off by the music of the Renegade Lex Luger. Luger goes right after Tatanka and we’re on in a hurry. The Indian hides on the floor as we stall a lot. Luger wants to kill him it seems. Literally all we have here is Luger chasing Tatanka and Tatanka running away.

FINALLY the referee gets in Luger’s way and we get going. Luger hammers away and after about a minute I have a bad feeling about this tape. Out to the floor and it’s Tatanka in control. We’re maybe four minutes into this and I want to go watch some Sandman vs. Sabu. Three elbows get two for Tatanka.

Ah there’s a chinlock. Wow this is riveting. Luger’s face is pathetic here as he might as well be ordering dinner. He fights up and Tatanka gets a knee to put him back down. Back to the chinlock again. To tell you how pathetic the Million Dollar Team was, King Kong Bundy was considered their best chance at getting a title. Lex fights up again and AGAIN it’s the chinlock. This is one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Luger knocks Tatanka to the floor which seems to be a common theme tonight. Lex goes out after him and the beating continues. At least this is finally picking up a bit. It’s about time after that big long boring match. And there’s a double countout to end this. Oh no. Oh no they didn’t just give us THAT finish after watching these two for almost fifteen minutes. Dang it yes they did.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. Nothing happened in this and it was the epitome of filling in time without having to do a thing. This was a feud I always liked and then we get this nonsense. Totally boring match that is mostly chinlock and running. I know this era was bad but this isn’t making me feel any better about this tape.

Post match we get a tease of more fighting and Luger gives Tatanka the Rack. Oh I’m sorry: the REBEL Rack.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Bret is world champion here so this is probably around August of 94 as that was the top feud around that time. Still in Albany and likely at the same show. Apparently this was October 19, 1994. I’ve always wondered which shows they picked to film and how they were chosen. Bret and Owen start so we’re guaranteed a good start at least. Granted after that last match anything sounds great.

I love Owen celebrating while doing absolutely nothing. Lots of chain wrestling to start as you would expect. Bret works on the arm and gets a crucifix for two. They speed it up a bit and Bret gets a clothesline to put Owen on the floor. Back in and Bret taunts Neidhart, saying he wants the Anvil.

Now here’s a match I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Bret tries his usual stuff but Anvil catches him in a bear hug. Hart bites Anvil’s head to escape and it’s time for power vs. power. Ok never mind as it’s time for Owen vs. Bulldog. They’re getting in and out of there rather fast. Stan Lane continues to be underrated at the announce table. Owen gets caught in the semi-delayed vertical for two.

We hit the chinlock again even though I thought we had hit the quota of chinlocks in the first match. Spinwheel kick puts Bulldog down for two and it’s back to Anvil who puts on a chinlock of his own. The fans are chanting for Owen actually. Owen comes in again and drills Bulldog with some European uppercuts in a nice bit of irony. Shawn Killer Kick makes Smith flip forward and the double teaming commences.

Neidhart back in there now as the heels are working well together here. Bret chases Owen but the referee stops him. This stopping though allows the New Foundation (Owen and Neidhart of course) to hit a Hart Attack on Bulldog for two. Neckbreaker by Owen gets two and we hit the chinlock one more time. This is very much a stop and go kind of match as they’ll get going and then stop for a chinlock etc.

Bulldog fights up and they hit head to head. There’s a tag to Hart but Neidhart had the referee distracted. Heel miscommunication puts Anvil down and there’s the tag to the champion. He beats up both guys while Bulldog just watches on. What a nice partner he is. Russian Leg Sweep gets two on Owen and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. He actually gets the Sharpshooter but Neidhart makes the save. Off to the Bulldog again and everything breaks down. Bulldog gets a small package, Neidhart turns it over, Bret turns it over again and Bulldog pins Owen to end it.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a lot of the rest holds and give it a bit better ending then this would be a much better match. Still though not a bad match at all and I thought it was pretty good. With these four it’s hard not to have a good match. Neidhart was the worst of these four but he’s certainly watchable in the ring. Decent match but could have been much better.

And now, it’s time for Doink and Dink. This isn’t looking like a great tape so far. They run around the WWF Studios playing pranks on people. I hate my life. Oh sweet goodness they’re going to do more of this later.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Same show again and Razor is champion. Razor has some fat guy with him that I don’t recognize. Ah apparently that’s his guest manager for this match. Shouldn’t he be like, a kid? Razor gives his necklaces to the ring attendant: Anthony Chimmel. I had no idea he was around back at this point. Jarrett takes a toothpick to the eye and complains about it to kill time.

Armdrag takes Razor down to start. We’re starting very, very slowly here. Jarrett does the lay on the turnbuckle thing that Shawn did better. They exchange slaps as this is dragging pretty badly. Razor gets the fallaway slam for two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. He works on the arm but gets caught by a pair of dropkicks. Make it three of them for Jarrett to take over. He always had a gorgeous dropkick.

Top rope cross body is rolled through though but Jarrett takes back over easily. Hey look it’s a chinlock. Glad to see that they’re keeping things different throughout these three matches they’ve had at this show so far. Razor gets a backslide for two as even Gorilla says he’s not going to get him here. Apparently the fat guy is named Ranger Danger. Belly to back suplex by Razor puts both guys down. Crowd is pretty dead here but not entirely dead.

Back up and a discus punch puts Jeff down. Razor is sent to the floor and looks to be cut open a bit. Wait maybe he isn’t. Ok yes he is. His hair was covering up the cut the second time. Back in and there’s ANOTHER countout. They did that at I think the 95 Rumble which hadn’t happened yet so I guess this is practice.

Rating: D. Another one of these stop and go matches that wasn’t interesting in the slightest. I still don’t get the ranger dude being out there but it was a much more confusing era back then. These two could have a great match when they tried to but this wasn’t the case here. Not much at all and really bad to say the least.

Jeff wants to keep going and Razor says sure. And there’s the Razor’s Edge maybe 8 seconds later. They couldn’t have done this without the countout??? I give up.

Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn

Well Dunn was a jobbing heel tag team that no one cared about but for some reason they were given a moderate push around this time. Also, the Whackers had jobs at this point? Really? The Bushwhackers were doing this weird nose rub thing around this time that was stupider than what they would usually do if you can imagine that. They stall forever before we actually get going.

Butch bites one of them and they do the do-see-do. A gymnastic comedy routine gets us nowhere. Apparently one is named Timothy Well. We haven’t even had a bell yet so we’re just having a big brawl here. We’re not in Albany anymore. The heels get run out of the ring and it’s time for some whacking. We get a reference to Tie Me Kangaroo Down, which was the theme song of Outback Jack. How did I not get him for OCW?

Believe it or not this match is clipped, meaning it was originally longer than it is here. The heels beat on Luck for awhile with some fast leg drops. This match is about as uninteresting as you could ask for if you didn’t get that already. Flying forearm takes Luke down for one. More double teaming follows. Well Dunn is managed by Harvey Whippleman. Butch (called Miller which I’ve never heard) comes in. Dunn’s first name is Stephen. Battering Ram, heel reversal, face reversal, pin, same ending as the other tag match.

Rating: F+. Again, this was CLIPPED. It was originally supposed to be even longer than it already was. We saw about five minutes of it and the match was boring beyond belief based on that. This is one of the worst tapes I’ve ever seen so far and we have a full 54 minutes to go at this point. Shoot me, please?

The next match is one that was on Shawn’s tape so I’m copying and pasting this.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger

This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.

Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.

Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.

Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.

Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.

Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves his annoying ass right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.

Well that killed off ten minutes so there’s that at least.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Lumberjack match here. Come on Harts: SAVE US! The lumberjacks are as usual the medium names on the roster and the majority of the upper midcard. Gorilla can’t tell if the kid that got the glasses was a boy or a girl. That amuses me for some reason. Atomic drop and a DDT for Bret as they’re starting very fast. This is before Summerslam and their cage match apparently.

Owen is sent to the floor but takes over soon thereafter. He locks on a camel clutch despite not being Middle Eastern. Doesn’t he know his stereotypes? We shift to a chinlock since it’s been a full five minutes since one of those. Jarrett gets involved and the lumberjacks get involved. Sharpshooter goes on Owen but Neidhart drills Bret. Owen covers Bret….AND PINS HIM??? He’s announced as the new champion and the heels celebrate! WHAT THE HECK???

And never mind as the referees come down to tell what happened and I think you all know what’s coming here. We actually go to instant replay here and the referee sees what happened. Bah I wanted to see the mystery Owen title reign! Naturally the match is restarted even though Owen looks good with the title on his shoulder.

We restart things and Bret sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Oh look: IT’S A CHINLOCK! Bret, you too? Cross body gets two for the champion. Wait is Owen officially champion at this point? I’m not really sure. Either way it’s back to the chinlock. Headbutt to the ribs gives Owen control and stomps away a bit. Oh and his arm is fine now.

Bret gets sent to the floor and the heels mess with him a bit. Dropkick sends Bret to the floor again and the beating is on again. Suplex gets two. How can Bret vs. Owen be boring like this? Bret fights back but gets caught by a tombstone for two. A top rope headbutt/splash misses for Owen and both guys are down.

Owen is sent into the corner and Bret adds a legdrop for two. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Gorilla doesn’t know why he’s not going for the Sharpshooter yet. Gorilla, he’s done two of the Five Moves of Doom. If he went for it already he might destroy the universe. Gorilla Monsoon wants to destroy the universe. Elbow gets two. Anvil gets on the apron and Owen accidentally drills him so Bret can roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. The match is ok but compared to their other stuff this is pretty weak. The title switch was indeed a nice shock and I’m glad they went with it at the beginning rather than at the end. Not a bad match but dude, it’s Bret vs. Owen. How is that not a guaranteed classic? Whatever I guess, as it’s easily the best match on the tape so far.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano was more or less the Kong of her day. These two had a very long running feud that actually gave us some good matches. Blayze speeds it up a bit and fires away with kicks so Nakano grabs her by the hair and spins her around in a single throw. FREAKING OW MAN! Leg drop gets one. After a short beating Blayze gets a clothesline using the top rope. That’s the extent of her offense as she gets slammed off the top and a Piledriver gets two for the challenger.

Off to a half crab/ankle lock as Nakano shouts ASK HER! It’s a reverse figure four now with Blayze facing down but Nakanko facing up. I’ve seen that before but it’s rare. Nakano is destroying her with all kinds of holds here. Suplex gets two as the crowd is SILENT. Blayze bridges up and holds said bridge despite the huge Nakano jumping down onto her ribs. That’s impressive indeed.

This has more or less been a squash so far so I’d bet a lot on Nakano losing to a German suplex. A cross body takes Nakano down but Luna Vachon, Nakano’s friend I guess, distracts her and a DDT gets two for Bull. Crucifix gets two for Alundra. Sunset flip is countered by the power of a large ass for two. Powerbomb gets two as they’ve sped this way up. Superplex is blocked by Bull (called Dumbo by Gorilla) but her guillotine legdrop finisher misses. Three dropkicks by the champions get two. And yep there’s the German out of nowhere to end it.

Rating: C+. Hey what do you know about that? Blayze got her ass handed to her for 10 minutes and then hit one move to get the win. Never at all been a fan of this style of booking as it makes the champion look really weak. The pin was clean though so points for that. Also, Bull was doing some insane stuff out there so I have to give this a good grade.

Battle Royal

20 people in this and I’d assume it’s the main event. Let’s see how many I can name: Bigelow, Yokozuna, Mabel, Typhoon…yeah this is a waste of my time. I’ll let you know as they go out. Immediately, as in less than 15 seconds after we start, they gang up on Yoko and he’s gone. IRS, the Heavenly Bodies, Backlund (pre-crazy), Headshrinkers, Smoking Gunns, 1-2-3 Kid, Adam Bomb and Jeff Jarrett are all in there. Yoko pulled out Fatu (Headshrinker) with him.

Kwang (Savio Vega in a Japanese monster gimmick) is in there too. Sparky Plugg (Hardcore Holly) is in there. I think that’s everyone. Oh and Diesel is in it too. Duke Droese is in it. I’m missing one guy. Blast it I hate when that happens. Oh it’s Nikolai Volkoff. That’s much better. Yes Volkoff made things better. That’ll never happen again.

Standard battle royal so far with the guys kicking and punching on the ropes. There goes Typhoon as we’re down to 17 I think. Diesel and Mabel go at it in a preview of the worst PPV main event of all time. Backlund puts Tom Pritchard (Heavenly Bodies) out. That leaves us with sixteen I believe. Bigelow misses a clothesline to put us down to 15. Backlund puts out another one, this time Bart Gunn.

Kid slips back under the ropes and tries to put out Kwang but this is pre-99 so he can’t beat giants yet. We hit another time freeze and as I type that Kwang and Adam Bomb go out to thin the ranks out a bit. I think we have 12 yet but that’s just a head count. I don’t see Nikolai. Diesel puts Mabel out and I think we have ten left. The fans chant for Diesel. There’s a reason he would be world champion in less than 3 months.

And just like that everyone gangs up on Diesel and he’s gone. I count 9 at this point: IRS, Holly, Droese, Backlund, Samu, Billy Gunn, Del Ray (Heavenly Body), Jarrett and the Kid. Just after I unpause the video to count them, Lane lists them off. Blast it. Oh well the tape is almost over so I can’t complain. Jarrett throws Holly out. He and IRS team up a bit and get rid of Droese.

Del Ray goes over but doesn’t hit the floor in a nice save. Irwin is out as is Del Ray, leaving us with Kid, Gunn, Backlund, Samu and Jarrett. Everyone other than Kid is on the ropes and then all four others put Samu out. The final four are Jarrett, Backlund, Billy and Kid. Sorry if I missed some eliminations but they weren’t mentioned and the camera missed them too.

Jarrett dumps Billy to get us down to three. Kid goes up top but lands on the apron and sends Jarrett out to get us down to the 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Backlund. PLEASE let Backlund win! He gets the Crossface Chickenwing on as he’s snapping again. Yep there goes the Kid and Backlund gets the win. He’s SCARY with those insane eyes.

Rating: D. I wasn’t too thrilled with this. Backlund winning wasn’t that bad but getting there indeed was. This was just incredibly boring the entire time with nothing interesting happening at all. With all the missed eliminations and the lack of star power (for the time at least) this really didn’t do anything for me in the slightest. Pretty bad match.

Overall Rating: F. Oh thank goodness this is finally over. This is easily one of the worst tapes I’ve ever sat through, which is saying a lot given that there are two Bret matches on here. I even gave some matches some ok grades, but that’s not saying much. Even the good matches are just barely ok at best with even Bret vs. Owen being dull. Boring tape that I had to pause about three dozen times to watch something more interesting. I think it was called Wrestlemania 11? Anyway, terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE, tape.

NXT
Date: September 20, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

I’m not going to bother talking about the competition or what week it is anymore until we get to a milestone or something like that. I’m not sure where they’re going to go with the stories as a lot of stuff was wrapped up last week. We have the old guys vs. the new guys still but that can only go so far. Regal and Striker got a pretty definitive win but I guess it’s time for the Uso Era now. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Percy Watson Show. He’s been back a week and he has a talk show? Anyway he brings out O’Neil with both guys being in suits. Titus talks about it being a long 29 weeks and says they should take a run at the tag titles after the season ends. Here are JTG and Young with a rebuttal. JTG says he’s a tag team specialist. It seems like JTG is Young’s pro now. Titus brings up the Usos running them off last week and JTG calls the Usos haters. Watson says he and Titus dress better and a tag match is made…I think. They brawl and Titus/Watson clears the ring.

AJ vs. Maxine

We get a clip from last week with the match they had already where Maxine won. Regal talks about Maxine’s uncle being a Peruvian hunchback pickpocket. He also makes saddles for seahorses. At least both chicks look good. Maxine controls early and grabs a chinlock. Off to a Liontamer with her foot on the head and that’s illegal apparently as the referee breaks it up. AJ grabs a pair of rollups for two each and Maxine takes over again.

Regal talks about pulling hair and Maxine puts on chinlock #3 of a four minute match. AJ tries to speed things up and Maxine’s shoulder goes into the post. Spin kick gets two for AJ. Maxine tries that same move she hit last week but AJ kicks her in the back and hits a Shining Wizard (called that by Regal) for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D+. The ending was good but dude, three chinlocks in a five minute match? I mean is that really necessary? This is match #3 in the whole Where’s Horny story and it’s already boring. Granted when you have the same match over and over again it’s bound to get boring. This wasn’t anything special but it wasn’t totally horrible I guess.

HHH’s movie trailer and the Raw ReBound (all about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler and zero about the firing or HHH etc) eat up a bunch of time.

Horny is in the back with a letter for AJ. Maxine comes in and implies sex between Tyson and AJ. Maxine keeps walking and finds Bateman and Kidd. Kidd leaves and Maxine says they’re this close to separating AJ and Horny. They make out.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Derrick Bateman

Tatsu takes it to the mat and still has the paint on half of his face. Bateman chops away and Tatsu has white paint all over his chest. Yoshi drops a Muta style elbow for two and Bateman hits the floor. Tatsu gets sent into the post balls first and there’s paint on the mat now. He needs to look into some higher quality stuff. Back in the ring and Tatsu gets taken down by a clothesline for two. Bateman’s offense is pretty boring.

There’s an abdominal stretch but he shifts into a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Now Tatsu has the same stretch on Bateman but that’s quickly broken up. Tatsu fires away with strikes and a running kick in the corner and a big kick gets two. Cross body off the top gets two. Another attempt is rolled through for another two. A big kick puts Bateman down but Kidd runs in for the DQ at 6:43.

Rating: C. Not bad here but can we do something else besides Tatsu vs. Kidd? The matches are pretty good but have been going downhill a bit in recent weeks. Bateman is floundering at this point and needs something to do besides this pretty stupid love thing with Maxine/Titus/AJ. Not a terrible match, but where does this lead other than Tyson vs. Tatsu again?

AJ talks to Trent Barreta but Titus comes up and Trent leaves. Titus says make up with Horny but she’s not sure. Titus leaves and Horny is behind him. Horny leaves after shaking his head.

Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young

Percy vs. Young to start and Percy gets a butterfly suplex for two. Off to Titus who powers down Young with ease. And now we’re talking about Air Boom. Watson throws on an armbar and it’s off to Titus again. All Watson/O’Neil here. Young is thrown to the floor as we take a break. Back with Watson beating up JTG. Regal thinks Young might have cauliflower ear from going to the floor. JTG is sent to the floor and talks some trash to Regal but turns around into a baseball slide.

Young FINALLY gets a shot in on Watson for their first offense after about seven minutes. It’s Watson taking the beatdown here from Young with something like a weak camel clutch. And never mind as JTG comes in and talks too much trash, allowing Watson to get his foot up. He can’t make a tag though as the match keeps going.

Young cheats a bit and Regal starts coaching him before he realizes what he’s doing. Korpela: “Hold the phone.” Regal: “What phone?” Regal also says that he thinks Young is ahead of all the rookies. Watson takes Young down and gets Titus in for the comeback. He tries what looks to be a spinebsuter but settles for an atomic drop instead. We actually get a Who Let The Dogs Out line from Korpela. The numbers catch up with Titus and a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster ends Titus at 12:00. That’s a surprise.

Rating: C. Not a bad main event but as always with NXT, there’s the problem of the same stuff happening week after week and nothing ever developing out of it. It’s not a bad match but is this ever going anywhere? If it is I certainly don’t see it. I guess this is supposed to set up the Usos vs. Young/JTG but are we supposed to look forward to that now?

Post match the Usos come in and hit their double splash on the winners, ending the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Eh this was just kind of there. It’s like they took a look back at some of the stuff last week and wanted to make sure we really got it so they aired it again. The Usos being on there is almost a guarantee of our main event next week. Not a bad show but it was pretty boring and there was little that made me want to watch next week. AJ and Horny are pretty boring but that’s NXT for you. Not horrible but weaker than last week.

Results
AJ b. Maxine – Shining Wizard
Yoshi Tatsu b. Derrick Bateman via DQ with Tyson Kidd interfered
Darren Young/JTG b. Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson – Gutbuster to O’Neil