Smackdown
Date: August 12, 2011
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show before Summerslam and the card is probably about half set. With only four matches they almost have to add a few on here. I could picture Bryan vs. Barrett and the Usos getting a tag title shot which would help the card out tremendously. Either way it’s in need of help right now. Also tonight Christian implied he has a major announcement so let’s get to it.

The main event tonight is Khali vs. Orton. Well they promised a great main event so they have a lot of work to go.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is finding dental insurance at the moment.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He talks about how a month ago he was just hanging out in the back waiting for a friend (not sure who he means) and now he’s in charge. He’s also the guest referee in probably the biggest match ever. Both guys have their names mentioned and get about the same volume although Cena’s last longer. There’s a CM Punk chant but it’s nothing thunderous.

Trips says there’s a line of people waiting to get in to see him in the back. There’s a ton of pressure being the boss and he’s loving it. He wants every show to be as exciting and unpredictable as it can be. Therefore tonight the Intercontinental Title is on the line with Cody Rhodes challenging. With four matches on Summerslam shouldn’t you save that one for Sunday?

Also it’s Bryan vs. Del Rio in a MITB vs. MITB match. Just for pride though. Tonight Orton and Christian are in action also with Orton vs. Khali (surprisingly decent heat for his name) and Christian vs….someone that we’ll find out in a bit because here’s the champ. Josh reminds us that Christian said he has a big announcement/surprise. Christian says HHH should have called the champ given the circumstances. “I would have except I don’t give a crap.”

Christian’s surpsie is he’s going to sue the WWE. He has medical documents saying that Orton has serious anger management issues. If Christian has to fight in a no holds barred match, the company is putting him in an unsafe working environment. He’s been talking to the lawyers and if the stipulation isn’t changed, he’s filing a multimillion dollar lawsuit. He’ll sue everyone from HHH to his kids to Johnny Ace (he’s never called that but I don’t want to keep typing Laurinitis) to every single fan that goes to Summerslam.

HHH says the match is still on. Christian has a contract with WWE, meaning he has a contract with HHH, meaning HHH is his boss. If Christian doesn’t do as HHH says, as in compete in the matches HHH picks, Christian is in breach of contract, meaning he’ll be fired and HHH will be taking that title back. Christian FREAKS, wanting to know why HHH is doing favors for Orton. That’s….a really good question actually. HHH respects Orton and the fans like Orton but the fans don’t like Christian because they don’t respect him. HHH doesn’t respect him either. Christian needs to earn it back by competing Sunday.

HHH tries to leave but 15 minutes for the segment isn’t enough I guess. Christian says cut the music and says he gets the last say. Christian will earn it so you can forget the lawsuit. He’ll beat Orton on Sunday but first let’s get through this match that HHH has made for tonight. HHH says cool so here’s Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Christian

The bell rings after a break. You can’t say they’re feeding Sheamus small potatoes (he is Irish after all) in the early part of his face run. Christian has to hit and run to start and manages to send Sheamus to the floor. Sheamus goes to the post and is holding his shoulder. The pale one gets some kicks in and charges into the post, hitting the other shoulder.

Ok so it’s the left arm that is hurt. Got it. Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse with the left arm but can’t cover because it hurts. Powerslam gets two. Killswitch doesn’t work as Sheamus punches Christian in the face. Love basic counters like that. Christian gos up which doesn’t work but the High Cross is broken up also. Sheamus does that thing where Christian’s feet are in the ring and his torso is between the top two ropes and he hammers in forearms to the chest.

He calls for the High Cross again for a better reaction but tries the kick instead. Christian hits the floor to avoid it and tries to leave which doesn’t work either. High Cross doesn’t work again and Christian gets a reverse guillotine. He tries to walk again and is up to the top of the stage at 7. And there’s the countout at 5:56.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can do here with this pairing but they went with the best ending they had available I think. Christian looks like a coward again and does soemthing he won’t be able to do Sunday while Sheamus continues to look strong. It was pretty decent while it lasted too.

AJ/Kaitlyn vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya

My prediction for this match: pain. The heels are now the D.O.D.: Divas of Doom. Which one is Butch and which is Simmons? Kaitlyn is the first piece of meat but she avoids a charge to bring in AJ. Booker says the heels remind him of Harlem Heat. I guess minus the skin color, blood relation, titles, gender, talent for one of them, longevity, talking ability and a host of other things. Anyway the Glam Slam ends AJ at 1:14.

Post match there’s a beatdown with Kaitlyn being put in the Sharpshooter.

Sin Cara is back tonight. It’s an FCW guy named Hunico under the match.

Ryder says the ratings are up because of him. Legacy comes in and Rhodes thanks Zack for the title shot. Teddy says it was his idea. Everyone but Teddy leaves and here’s Aksana with the music again. Teddy says let’s keep this professional. Sexual innuendo abounds but Teddy leaves, claiming car problems. Stick shift jokes are made and aren’t that funny due to the images associated with Teddy Long being undressed.

Booker is talking about biscuits and gravy. Could this be a secret alliance with Jesse and Festus???

Video on Mark Henry. He’s strong don’t you know?

Johnny Curtis is in the locker room and Mark Henry comes in. Henry is his debut opponent. Henry has a play on words for him: break a leg.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

It’s clearly not Sin Cara if you look at his body but it’s close enough. The lights go out so it’s ok for the most part. Cara hits a bit spinning cross body to the floor. Kidid gets a dropkick to the bad ribs and Cara is in trouble. Springboard cross body (more like a headbutt to the chest) gets two. Booker: “Did you see that???” Cole: “Yes, it’s called television.” Cara gets something like a rolling Samoan drop and then a slingshot hilo and a lionsault end this at 2:57. Not quite a squash but Cara was never in any real trouble.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Both guys are in white here. Josh says there will be a cash in by Alberto tonight which Cole shoots down quickly. Cole is going off about Bryan’s breakfast or something. Alberto works on the arm and Cole is already on my nerves. Now Booker is talking in an African accent. Josh THANKFULLY talks about being Mr. MITB to bring us back to anything resembling wrestling. Bryan fires off some kicks but Alberto kicks his head off with an enziguri.

Bryan knocks him to the floor and the suicide dive lands more on top of Del Rio than in his chest. Bryan goes up top for the missile dropkick but misses and the cross armbreaker ends this totally clean at 3:31. I certainly didn’t see that coming and the results I saw said this was a long match. That’s not exactly long.

Rating: C+. This was a hard hitting match that worked rather well but the shortness kills it deader than dead. Bryan was supposed to have hurt his arm on the dive, but it was the other arm that the armbreaker was on. I have no idea why they cut this so short but maybe there was a legit injury or something. Just kind of weird, especially with Bryan losing clean like that.

Post match Barrett comes in for a beating. Wasteland leaves Bryan laying. It’s mentioned that they’re fighting at the PPV so we have a fifth match which helps things a lot.

Christian is sitting in the back and looks annoyed.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Booker gets another bag and is annoyed again. Jackson uses power to take over but misses some elbows, allowing Cody to hit the floor. Back from a break with Rhodes hammering away. There’s a chinlock which goes on way too long until Jackson gets up and rams him into the back. After a clothesline in the corner here are the slams. He gets the Rack position but Cody grabs the rope. Ted offers a distraction which doesn’t work, letting Cody hit the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes gives us a new IC Champion at 4:34 shown of 8:04.

Rating: D+. Considering until the last 15 seconds this was shoulder block, chinlock, clothesline, slam, failed Rack, this was a really boring match. That being said, the ending was more or less clean. Rhodes broke the hold on his own, Ted didn’t really do that much and the kick hit when Jackson had missed Rhodes after being back to his own feet. Also the pin was totally clean after Cody’s finisher. I still don’t get why it wasn’t at the PPV but I’d bet on a potential rematch there. Also, how many would have bet Cody would get a title first? I’d think there were some, but not as many, at least a year ago or so.

Post match Jackson gets bagged. He wakes up though and destroys DiBiase.

Cena vs. Punk recap video eats up a few minutes.

We run down the PPV card and there are only four matches announced, even though they said Barrett vs. Bryan was official earlier.

Orton talks about how he’s tired of Christian trying to get him to slip up and break the rules. This Sunday there are no rules though. Orton talks about going to anger management classes and how he needs to not keep his anger inside. Therefore, he needs to let it out on Sunday. Oh and he’ll RKO Khali.

Johnny Curtis vs. Mark Henry

Total squash, World’s Strongest Slam, 55 seconds. We sat through a dozen bad puns for that? Wow.

Post match he sets for the Pillmanization but Sheamus makes the save since Curtis isn’t on the future endeavored list. Sheamus calls Henry a whale and himself a shark. He wants to fight right now and Henry goes to the apron and then stops to give Curtis another World’s Strongest Slam.

Randy Orton vs. Great Khali

Khali uses the power game to start which is about what you would expect in the opening minute. Orton gets some punches in but they don’t do much. Out to the floor and Orton goes into the steps. The chop hits for two less than two minutes in. Time for the nerve hold to waste some time. Orton gets up and dropkicks Khali into the ropes, tying him up. Mahal gets taken down and Orton gets a regular DDT. RKO is countered by the vice grip which doesn’t last long. Orton fires off some European uppercuts and gets a jumping RKO to end this at 4:32.

Rating: C-. Eh what can you really do in a match like this? Khali beat on Orton a lot with his power game and then got caught in the one big move to end it. The RKO looked good as Khali’s neck snapped backwards when the move hit. Not anything good but at the same time, what are you going to do here?

Post match Christian comes out and is very happy about the no holds barred match now. He says he has the best thing going today and says he’s looking forward to the match. He smiles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t all that thrilled with this one. There’s some good stuff in there but a lot of the matches are really short. Also we only got one match added to the PPV. I’m really surprised we didn’t get two or three and it’s probably not good to have so few heading into the show. Maybe a cash-in will fill in some time but who knows? Anyway not a horrible show tonight but not one of their better efforts recently.

Results

Sheamus b. Christian via countout

Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Glam Slam to AJ

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Lionsault

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Mark Henry b. Johnny Curtis – World’s Strongest Slam

Randy Orton b. Great Khali – RKO

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the show after Hardcore Justice which last year was the Whole F’N Show but this year is more of an explanation show. Angle turned heel (it seems) on Sunday by hitting Sting with a chair to win the title. Hogan was there also but there was no evidence that he was combined with Angle. It should be interesting as we’re getting close to BFG time which could be rather shaky indeed. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from after the PPV ended and Angle says he took an opportunity which is something Sting would have done as well. We also get some stills from the match which shows Angle using the chair but Hogan not being involved. Kurt is champion now and he’ll take it like he did.

Here’s Immortal including Abyss to open the show. Anderson stays a few feet behind Ray and is the last in line. Ray is the mouthpiece as usual and says that Abyss is becoming a huge disappointment. He wants to know if Abyss seriously lost to AJ at the PPV. Abyss is on thin ice with Bischoff. Tonight there’s a fatal fourway in the BFG Series with three Immortal members and Crimson. Ray says he’s winning the series and winning the title.

On to Anderson now and Ray doesn’t like him. However he was impressed by the beating Anderson took on Sunday. Anderson belongs in Immortal and Immortal can benefit from having him. They need to put their problems aside though because it’s about Ray being world champion and Immortal taking over TNA and all that jazz.

He sticks his hand out to Anderson but Anderson laughs and doesn’t shake it. Ray yells at Anderson for not taking him seriously and the fight is on. Steiner tries to break it up so Anderson beats him up too. Gunner and Abyss get in a shot and a kind of weak beatdown is on. Ray loads up the chain and blasts Anderson with it to leave him laying. Anderson is bleeding and Ray says get him up again. Security comes down and gets beaten up to. The TNA agents come out and Immortal leaves. Didn’t see that coming. He’s taken out on a stretcher as we go to a break.

Back and Anderson doesn’t want to be on the stretcher but he’s taken to the hospital.

Bischoff apologizes to the team for bringing Anderson in. Ray says it’s ok. Eric says Hogan is coming here as is Angle. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Kurt though. Abyss says we’ll be ready. Eric doesn’t like the term we.

Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Winner is #1 contender to Winter. The mist from Sunday is now called blood. Oh and Mickie is fine. She tries to grab a rollup like she did at Lockdown. Madison gets on the mat and kind of kicks at Mickie who is just standing there. Now she throws what looked like a bracelet to James and while the referee isn’t looking goes for the eyes. Madison tries the hump the mat thing but Mickie counters into a rollup with a nice view. Spinning seated dropkick gets two. Mickie nips up and the Thesz Press off the top. With Madison’s tiara on the jumping DDT ends this at 3:00.

Rating: C. More or less a squash here for Mickie but when the girls look like this I can live with it a bit more. Mickie getting her rematch is a good thing because she got cheated out of the title in the first place. This was fine I guess and Mickie looked good both from a wrestling standpoint and a looks perspective so I’m fine all around here.

Angle is here.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

Austin Aries is on commentary. Non-title here I think. Robbie jumps Kendrick while the music is still playing. We’re on a chinlock less than a minute in. Kendrick gets sent to the floor and Cookie steps on his head a bit. Robbie yells at her for some reason. Back inside now and they slug it out with Kendrick winning. He fires off a bunch of forearms but Sliced Bread is broken up. Cookie sprays the hairspray into Robbie’s eyes (referee is like cool, whatever) and Sliced Bread ends this at 2:43. This was fine.

D-Von and Pope are talking and Pope gets a text from someone congratulating them on their match. D-Von congratulates Pope on the win but says if he cheats him tonight it’ll be a beating. Pope says let’s go win but D-Von doesn’t trust him still.

The Jarretts are here with Mexican clothing on.

Robbie yells at Cookie post break and there’s a lot of cursing. Cookie blames him, Robbie blames her, they say it’s over.

Bound For Glory Standings

Crimson 43

James Storm 33

Devon 30

Gunner 28

Bully Ray 28

Bobby Roode 28

Rob van Dam 25

Matt Morgan 24 (injured)

AJ Styles 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Scott Steiner 14

Samoa Joe -10

Bound For Glory Series: Beer Money vs. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Rob’s left hand is taped. Christopher Daniels pops up on commentary and the match starts after a break. After the break (complete with the mini screen of Daniels talking) he challenges AJ to a rematch from Destination X. After issuing the challenge he leaves. D-Von starts with RVD and it’s off to Pope quickly. AJ comes in in a Lockdown 2010 rematch. Storm is tagged in and tried to steal a pin but AJ breaks it up.

D-Von and Pope work well together, resulting in a two count for D-Von on Storm. Storm goes up to the middle rope and hits an elbow, allowing Roode to get the tag. Spinebuster gets two on Pope but Van Dam saves. Beer Money, being the only real team in this, double teams the best as things quickly break down. AJ comes in with the forearm but D-Von takes him down with a spinebuster/chokeslam. Pope and D-Von clear the ring and set for something on AJ but D-Von takes Pope out by mistake. Roode comes in and a fisherman’s suplex pins Pope at 5:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent three way tag here and we get more of D-Von vs. Pope. It’s the same stuff we’ve been getting for the most part but at least it’s something. I think at least. Anyway, the Daniels vs. AJ 9 or whatever should be good if not a bit pointless. Beer Money winning shouldn’t shock anyone since they’re the champions and all.

Angle is up next.

Angle thanks the fans for their caring about the PPV. This isn’t about him joining the dark side or anything like that. He thanks Sting also. This is about Karen and Jeff and the marriage stuff. Someone that isn’t a wrestler called him and told him not to blame Karen or Jeff. There was a third party that caused the divorce, and that was Dixie Carter.

He went to Carter three years ago and was told that she knew nothing of the affair. The third party (the person that called him) told Kurt about this. Carter lied to prevent a media disaster and Kurt didn’t kill Jeff to prevent one also. This is the beginning of him keeping Carter from coming back and he’s going to stop all of the young talent to keep her away.

Angle goes to leave but Sting pops up on Kurt’s riser in the stage. Kurt holds up the chair for defense but Sting knocks it away with the bat. Angle drops down to his knees and Hogan comes out and cracks Sting with the chair. Angle says Hogan was the informant that told him about all of the affair and Carter’s lies. Hogan wears him out with the chair. He throws Sting in the ring (Sting in jeans is a weird sight) and beats him down with fists. Kurt comes in and Hogan raises Kurt’s arm.

Video on BFG being in Philadelphia and how this is the most important show of the year.

ODB/Jackie vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

There’s a Tessmacher chant as she and Jackie start us off. Tessmacher takes her down with a dropkick and it’s off to Tara who gets a sunset flip for two. Off to Tessmacher who does her stupid thing in the corner. Tara vs. Jackie now and a side blockbuster gets two for Tara. We get about the fourth headlock of the match and Tara avoids some cheating. Off to ODB now and Jackie won’t let her throw a punch. Tara gets a superplex to slow ODB down and everything breaks down. Jackie and ODB set for a stomping but Jackie says no. Brooke (her official first name now) takes the heels down and rolls up Jackie for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D. This was either weird or stupid. The evil ones now have to play nice to impress Bischoff or something after being all evil for like two months. Why we’re supposed to care about them is beyond me but whatever. The match sucked, namely due to the girls not being sure what they were doing. Brooke is improving though.

A bunch of guys are outside Bischoff’s office.

The X-Division is in Eric’s office. Abyss is there and is scolded for messing things up. There’s now a 225lb weight limit on the division. There’s going to be a #1 contender gauntlet match next week. Aries sucks up to Eric a bit and gets to stay while everyone else leaves.

Here are the Jarretts in Mexican clothing. We get some clips of Triplemania where Jeff won the AAA Title (which is censored from the show). Jeff says this is all an act or something but it’s real. Jeff needs to learn the nuances of Mexico and needs the endorsement of the Mexican people and for the Immortal Title. He’s gone all over the Mexican cities (his words) and has gotten endorsed. He has the Lopez Brothers in the back to endorse him. They’ve done the landscaping for TNA since 2007.

It’s implied that they’re illegal aliens and their names are Jose and Jos-B. Say it out loud and you’ll get the joke. They’re both kind of short but it may be Jeff’s sombrero. Jeff wants an endorsement but they don’t speak English. They see Hector Guerrero in the Spanish announce table and FREAK, wanting him to come to the ring. Now they only know how to talk about Guerreros. Jeff beats them up but Hector comes out for the save. This was hilarious and one of the funniest things TNA has done in a LONG time.

Eric Young is still in Hollywood and is looking for Scott Baio. I give up.

Anderson, looking like a zombie with blood on his head still, is here again and comes into Immortal’s locker room (complete with lockers) and gets jumped by Gunner. There’s what sound like a beating with a chain that we don’t see.

Matt Morgan comes out for commentary, now out of his sling.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Bully Ray vs. Gunner vs. Scott Steiner

This gets big match intros because it’s the last match. You have to tag in this. Ray starts it off but it’s off to Gunner very quickly. Crimson takes over quickly and grabs the cravate for some knees to the head. Gunner takes him down and Ray wants in. Crimson gets up so Ray tags in Steiner. Scott beats him down and there are the push-ups. Gunner uses the numbers but Crimson gets things going and sends Gunner into Ray and rolls up Gunner for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C-. Nothing here really but the idea of Ray being scared to fight Crimson and the lack of Anderson running in was fine. It was good to make Crimson look good but at the same time it was pretty dull. What does it say that Immortal can’t beat one guy in five minutes though?

Post match Angle comes down and beats up Crimson, mainly going after the leg.

Overall Rating: B-. While there were some bad parts to this, the show overall worked pretty well. They’re setting up BFG now with some big matches it seems. I’m not thinking I’ll like most of them but they’re certainly setting them up which is the most important part right now. Either way, this was one of the better shows they’ve put on in awhile and much better than last week. I’ll even ignore the lack of ANY match reaching 6:00.

Results

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Sliced Bread #2

Beer Money b. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam and D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Fisherman’s suplex to Dinero

Miss Tessmacher/Tara b. ODB/Jackie – Rollup to Jackie

Crimson b. Scott Steiner, Bully Ray and Gunner – Rollup to Gunner

Showdown At Shea
Date: August 9, 1980
Location: Shea Stadium, Flushing, New York
Attendance: 36,295
Commentators: Michael Cole, Mick Foley

FINALLY! This is a show I’ve wanted to do for well over a year now and until now I have never been able to find a copy of it. The commentators obviously aren’t from the right era but the original show had no commentary so this is all we’ve got. There were actually three Showdowns at Shea. The first one had a 75 minute draw between two faces for the world title (Morales vs. Sammartino) and the second had the famous Ali vs. Inoki fight (not at the stadium but played on the video screen there).

This one however is the most famous one with the first major Hulk vs. Andre match with the roles reversed and the match that won match of the year in PWI: Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino in the blowoff to a BIG feud in a cage. This is another one of those really glorified house shows but it’s a famous one and it’s nearly a holy grail to me so let’s get to it.

According to WWE 24/7 this is rated TV-14. Make your own jokes.

There’s no special opening here as it’s just Vince doing the in ring announcing and Cole welcomes us to the show. Cole is talking over Vince which today is grounds for death. It’s kind of annoying though as we can’t really tell what Vince is saying. The mat is red/purple which is weird looking.

Angel Marvilla vs. Jose Estrada

There were two matches before this, neither of which meant anything. To give a sign of the times we’re told why Fink isn’t there: he was on loan to Jim Crockett for his TV show. Can you imagine Jerry Lawler popping up on Impact for a loan? The looking back aspect of the commentary is very interesting as we hear about the high level of Puerto Rican wrestlers on New York cards which is true.

It’s so weird seeing no crowd around the arena and grass there instead. This is just weird to see as the wrestling is pretty bad but it’s just an opener here. The crowd sounds dead but the problem is that the crowd is so far away you can’t really hear them. They’re not bored though or at least I wouldn’t believe they are. The commentary is recorded in 2008 as Foley talks about the differences between modern wrestling style and the much slower paced stuff back then.

Estrada sends him over the top to the apron with a dropkick. I’m trying to talk about the match but like I said the wrestling is pretty weak here. Also the commentary here is one of the real highlights here as it’s rare that you can hear commentary recorded after the fact. Jose’s son was Edge’s first opponent and Edge nearly killed him, literally. Foley has never seen the main event tonight which should be interesting. Angelo hits a running flying headbutt for the pin. Vince’s microphone doesn’t work and he takes about a minute to get into the ring which Cole and Foley make a lot of fun of. Yeah they knew Vince wasn’t going to watch this.

Rating: D-. Match sucked but the commentary is the real treat here. I have a feeling that’ll be a running theme tonight too. These two were just out there as an opener and as odd as it is to say this they were there because they were Puerto Ricans. Those are Foley’s words mind you so don’t get on me for saying that. This wasn’t much of a match but it got the show started and something had to do that.

We skip a women’s tag match which had Moolah and three other girls. I’m not skipping them mind you. They’re simply not on the video although they happened.

Dominic DeNucci vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Now THIS should be interesting as Dominic trained Foley. I’ve never seen one of his matches so I’m new here too. The Baron kind of sucks but whatever. Notice a lot of the foreign wrestlers here as we’re on our second televised match and there hasn’t been a single white man. It was a different time to put it mildly and I’m kind of surprised by it since you would think it would have gone the other way and gotten more diverse.

The Baron is in the Hall of Fame for NO reason at all. His highlights listed on Wikipedia include one reign as a tag champion. Yep that’s it. Vince’s mic, now working, has a loud echo in the big stadium. Baron is loudly booed and Dominic is cheered which Foley calls a pop. Clean break in the corner to start as these guys look a lot alike other than their tights being different colors.

We talk about the ethnicity stuff again which is rather interesting. We make fun of Baron having a HUGE Malta contingent of fans which allows Foley to cater to history geeks. Baron gets rammed into the post twice which is fine with the referee for no apparent reason. Wait Dominic is in the red? How did I get that confused this whole time? Baron goes for a foreign object in his trunks resulting in a lot of jokes about something else in his trunks.

Foley talks about how Baron influenced his most famous trademark as Baron was known for REALLY overdoing his pulling out the foreign object, which inspired the way Foley would pull out Socko and look like he was trying to scratch his knee and then reach the ceiling. As you can see the wrestling here continues to mean nothing of note. The wrestling back in this era was for the most part just two guys in the ring having matches with no real story or angles going on.

Cole and Foley talk about early 80s television shows and what the actors are doing today. Dominic gets a sunset flip (which I remember reading about Foley FREAKING when he learned) and lays on his back instead of leaning forward for the pin. The time is announced at 6 minutes which the commentators talk about feeling FAR longer and I can’t say I blame them.

Rating: D. Another boring match although better than the first one. Again the commentary is far more interesting and is making this stuff watchable. Things should pick up later with better talent and matches that have feuds behind them coming up. Not much as far as wrestling goes here especially the ending but it wasn’t horrible.

Two more matches skipped, one of which had Greg Gagne so be glad it was skipped. The other had Pat Patterson vs. a Japanese guy that isn’t well known at all. Given the amount of time we’ve got left on this show, something tells me we might see these later on.

WWF Junior Heavyweight Title: Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Chavo Guerrero

Where to begin with this one? This is the equivalent of the Cruiserweight Title and the guy that holds it primarily wrestles in Japan. Fujinami is a GREAT wrestler for those that have never seen him and is one of the best lighter guys ever. Chavo is of course Chavo Guerrero’s father and was known a few years back as Chavo Classic in WWE. This title would move to Japan permanently soon after this and should not be confused with the Light Heavyweight Title which also was in Japan and Mexico for about 15 years and became part of the J-Crown which was defended in WCW in the mid-90s.

Oh yeah we have a match to see here. It’s getting noticeably darker here as you can tell we’ve skipped some stuff. Chavo is challenging here. There are also no entrances as when the announcements start the guys are already in the ring. The upper deck is nearly empty in a shot Vince likely won’t be thrilled with. Again notice the lack of Caucasians. Cole says he doesn’t know if the fans will like this or not because it’s just not what they’re used to which is probably true.

Cole calls Chavo vs. Chavo Jr. one of the more interesting stories in WWE history. Never let it be said that Cole understates anything. We get a Brian Hildebrand reference of all people as he’s more commonly known as referee Mark Curtis. Crowd is more or less silent here. All kinds of lucha and high flying stuff here which pops the crowd loudly. And so much for that as we go back to technical stuff and basic striking.

Cole and Foley discuss the mentality of a midcard worker who knows the fans are there to see the main event and not you. Foley also points out that the fans are likely to file in late because they only care about the main event which would explain a lot of the empty parts of the stadium. Fujinami hits a suicide dive which was INSANE stuff back then. Chavo goes for one as well but catches himself on the rope when he sees Tatsumi is gone.

This commentary is very interesting as you’re getting a lot of history and behind the scenes stuff that you would NEVER hear on Raw or Smackdown. Foley even mentions wrestling NEWSLETTERS and people talking about wrestling on the internet today. Imagine that being talked about seriously on Raw. I know I’m harping on that a lot but it’s by far and away the most interesting part of the show.

Foley talks about Japanese wrestling magazines that would come out within days of major shows with full color photographs. That’s rather impressive. We also hear about the silent crowds in Japan which takes a lot of getting used to. We hit the mat as I remember we have wrestling going on. It’s so weird to see the matches being such stuff in the background for the most part. Airplane Spin by Fujinami sends Chavo down.

Chavo hits a flying shot to the face and Foley is like oh crap we’ve got a good match here so I’ll finish my stories later. We get back to back rollups as Foley says how rare rollups and speed like this was which is true. Fujinami gets an awesome rollup for the pin and the referee doesn’t signal at all so it’s rather confusing. It’s the same thing Brian Pillman beat Jushin Liger with at Superbrawl II if you REALLY want to know what it looked like for some odd reason. Vince says he’s still World Wrestling Federation Champion.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but FAR better than what we’ve seen so far. This would be decent by today’s standards but this was ground breaking back then as no one knew what to think of guys flying around like that and moving so fast. The flying moves were solid too but they were like toppings on a pizza if that makes sense with the mat work being by far and away more important and prominent. Best match of the night by a mile though.

WWF Martial Arts Championship: Antonio Inoki vs. Larry Sharpe

Apparently these are shoot fights and Vince calls it the National Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship but that’s the only source I see that says that. Granted having Vince as your source kind of ends anyone else. I’m not going to try to explain the history and lineage of this title as it wound up in Japan and was never mentioned again after about 1985.

Ok we’re not going to have rounds or anything here. Inoki is called the most popular Japanese wrestler in the world ever which is a thread for sure. Foley tells a cool story about being in Italy and people came up to him asking for Inoki tickets instead of wrestling tickets. Sharpe was a Memphis guy I think and is very blonde. Foley and Cole try to explain the Martial Arts Title which maybe this isn’t for. I don’t pretend to get a lot of Japanese stuff but I know enough to get by.

Yeah this is a regular wrestling match but I’m going to say it’s the Martial Arts Title anyway. We hear about the legendary Inoki vs. Ali fight which is more or less the screwed up grandfather of MMA. LARRY SHARPE RAN THE MONSTER FACTORY! I KNEW I had heard that name before! This is just a standard wrestling match as the commentary continues to be the highlight here.

Inoki busts out the kicks which apparently is what he used against Ali. Does Inoki ever age? He looks the same he looked when he went into the Hall of Fame this year. He’s currently the equivalent of a Senator in Japan. Inoki kicks a lot at the legs of Sharpe who makes a short comeback. Inoki kicks the heck out of him again, getting a HUGE reaction surprisingly enough. Sharpe FALLS off the top for a “splash” and the Enziguri…DOESN’T FINISH? Inoki is all OH NO YOU DIDN’T and hits another one, prompting Sharpe to fall backwards like an idiot. Pin is academic.

Rating: C-. Kind of boring here and the end was kind of weird but the match wasn’t horrible. Inoki’s reception surprised me a bit but seeing a legend like Inoki is always fun. In the post match announcement Vince calls it the Martial Arts Championship so maybe he doesn’t even get it. Match was ok but nothing great at all.

Ok now I KNOW we’re coming back to some of the matches later as next up is the tag title match which would mean we’re skipping the IC Title match and Hogan vs. Andre.

Tag Titles: Bob Backlund/Pedro Morales vs. Wild Samoans

Backlund is world champion and this is 2/3 falls. Basically this would be Cena/Orton vs. the tag champions if the tag titles were a big deal. Backlund is way over as is Morales. Vince says in the corner to his left are the champions. The corner is empty but who cares about little things like those? According to Foley it’s FAR more interesting to talk to Backlund than to Afa, which doesn’t surprise me at all.

As far as the relations here, Afa and Sika are brothers I believe. Afa’s kids include Samu and Manu while Sika’s son is Rosey and he has another son in FCW. More or less picture it like this: if they’re Samoan and a wrestler, they’re probably related to each other. Cole talks about Pedro being a former WWE Champion which makes me think of him holding the spinner belt. We get some discussion of the New York curfew which meant that no wrestling could happen after 11. Matches would just stop at that time due to state laws. Imagine a big match just stopping at that point.

This is being written hours after the final NXT show on Syfy and there was a This Week in WWE History segment about a Cactus Jack vs. HHH match. Oddly enough Foley and Cole discuss that very match here in a very funny story about Captain Lou wandering down to ringside while the two guys were brawling in the crowd. Apparently Vince and Cole were in the gorilla position (Cole’s words) and Vince looked at him and said “Did Captain Lou just walk to the ring?” “I believe he did.” “Just checking.” Far funnier than it sounds.

We get the famous Samoan nerve hold on Backlund as this has been far more interesting and far more modern of a style match. We get a good example of what a manager can do as he holds Backlund’s tights to keep him in the corner so Sika can beat on him. Foley gives us a rather interesting history of managers. He really knows what he’s talking about as this is the area and company he grew up with. Backlund gets the Atomic Drop (his finisher. It was a much simpler time obviously) and Morales gets an O’Connor Roll (run the other guy into the ropes and roll him backwards into a rollup. You’ve seen it a thousand times. Bret likes to do it.) for the first fall.

Vince flat out screws up and says we have new champions prompting a very interesting question from Foley: who yells at Vince when he screws up? Vince booked the match, Vince made the announcement and he’s told the referee made it 2/3 falls. HUGE BULL chant starts us off. The Samoans beat up Morales before the second fall. THE FREAKING COPS TAKE ALBANO OUT! In the biggest city in the country in the middle of the summer, there was NOTHING better for them to do???

Foley starts having a sandwich because he saw Don Muraco do it as everything goes insane. Backlund gets a Piledriver on Sika to bring in both other guys. The commentary here is cracking me up. Backlund goes for a belly to back on Sika but Afa hits him in the head, prompting Backlund to…..fall backwards and drive Sika into the mat in a belly to back suplex. Pedro hits a dropkick on Sika so Backlund can pin him. They would have to forfeit the titles because Backlund couldn’t hold the tag and world titles so the Samoans got them back.

Rating: B. Most fun any of the matches so far tonight have been with the crowd being WAY into it and the guys having a great time out there. This worked as all four guys were pretty solid if not very good in the ring. The booking is a bit odd if they were just going to give the titles back to the Samoans. Why not a disqualification or something like that?

I was right. We’re doing some of the other matches.

Pat Patterson vs. Tor Kamata

We get one of the first wide shots and in case you’re curious the middle of the ring would be about where second base is. Kamata jumps him before the bell starts and is a rather fat man. He misses a top rope splash and Patterson takes over. Foley makes fun of Pat’s speech issues which are always funny. We talk about the Boot Camp match (go find that match. It’s against Sgt. Slaughter. Find the Alley Fight too as both are classics) to fill some time. Kamata throws powder at Patterson but it hits the referee for the DQ. WAY too short.

Rating: N/A. Fun while it lasted but nothing of note really. Patterson gets a big pop for the win.

Fabulous Moolah/Beverly Shade vs. Peggy Lee/Kandi Malloy

I only know one of them either. I think the card I have might be out of order. Or maybe the tape is out of order. It’s so weird seeing Vince doing Fink’s job. All one pieces for them here and Moolah with the black hair. Apparently Foley toured with Peggy Lee in some indy company in Africa. Well ok then. We hear about Moolah’s 28 year title run which is hilarious.

Match is a mess of course other than Moolah here. Foley sings a song for Peggy which I think is an Buddy Holly number. Ah yes it is but instead of Sue he says Lee. Foley points out that Moolah trained most of the women which is why so many of them wrestled exactly the same. Nothing of note is going on here of course. Double leg locks by the non-Moolah team. Moolah is just like screw this and beats up Lee and hits a backdrop of all things for the pin.

Rating: F. Cole and Foley rip the match apart afterwards, not even trying to make this sound like anything serious and I can’t say I blame them. Moolah was the only thing worth anything here.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Patera vs. Tony Atlas

This is pre-jail for Patera so he’s blonde and still kind of awesome. Atlas is Mr. USA and a generic strongman. Surprisingly good reaction for Atlas. This sums up Patera very well: before Mark Henry, there was Ken Patera. Just with a lower level of suck that is. Atlas is RIPPED with a body that makes John Cena look like Yokozuna. He throws Patera through the ropes on a kickout. Keep in mind Patera weighs about 270.

Foley goes into this insane story about how he remembers the Atlas/Johnson title win and how a strange set of circumstances that night led to him being world champion. Cole is ON IT tonight, talking about how the guys are doing everything in much more dramatic fashion because there’s no video or anything like that so the view you have from the stands is all you have. That’s something I wouldn’t have thought of but it’s very true.

We then get something I’d bet you will hear on a maximum of three other WWE produced shows ever: Foley says a lot of the matches aren’t that good. How many times can you remember someone that flat out saying a show has been bad for the most part? Vince would call the worst matches ever “extraordinary” or something like that while Foley is sitting here saying this show hasn’t been very good. He’s absolutely right which is very nice to hear for a change, especially from someone that knows what it’s like to be out there.

Full nelson goes on but Atlas gets the ropes. The announcers don’t talk about the matches at all and are just telling stories about how their memories of these guys which is really fun to hear. It’s nice to hear guys that love this stuff just sit around and talk about wrestling rather than put things over. We get an interesting issue as the fans chant USA for Mr. USA Tony Atlas. Keep in mind Patera was a legitimate Olympian.

Cross body gets two for Atlas as Cole runs down the history of Shea Stadium. We hit the floor for some brawling and Patera is in trouble. This is a big brawl for the most part and we get a bell as Patera stays outside too long. Foley calls the finish unsatisfying. Atlas gets on the mic and wants more but the champion runs.

Rating: C-. Not very good but fun. Power vs. power is easy to do and this worked fine. Both guys oversold everything which is the idea here and it worked rather well. Not great or anything but fun which is what the idea is supposed to be here. Atlas was pretty decent actually.

Ivan Putski vs. Johnny Rodz

Please….make it quick. Vince calls the wrestlers the principles. Putski is your Polish ethnic dude. Rodz is a trainer and Foley worked out with him for awhile. Rodz, the brilliant mind that he is, said Foley had no future. His reason? He couldn’t kick properly. Foley asks why Cole doesn’t talk about his legitimate news reporting stuff. Without missing a beat, Cole says “because no one cares?” He’s nothing if not self-aware.

We hear some about it and Cole being in Berlin for the fall of the wall and Foley says that it has nothing on Putski using a bearhug! Mick says Cole should talk about his credentials more and work in Rwandan genocide references in on Raw. How do you respond to that? Cole doesn’t, going back to making fun of the match. Putski just goes OFF and hits the Polish Hammer (running double axe to the chest. The guys sell it like JR calls a Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: D-. As I’ve said all night, the match was crap but the commentary was great. Foley and Cole have some awesome chemistry and we’re hearing a lot more from Cole than you usually would. He’s a likeable guy here and sounds like someone that it would be really fun to talk to about a bunch of different things.

The Hangman vs. Rene Goulet

Hangman is a generic guy and Goulet is more or less a career jobber. The commentary is great here as Goulet is famous for losing all the time and Hangman is someone even Foley doesn’t know. Goulet is wrestling with a torn bicep here because he wasn’t given time off for surgery. We hear about a charity softball game during the ECW Invasion. What the heck?

Cole says he’s sang Cena’s theme song with Cena in karaoke and sang Another One Bites the Dust with Patterson. WOW. Foley freaks on Cole about how he’s ignoring HANGMAN VS. GOULET! We talk about Hogan vs. Andre and the cage match which is just funny. Cole asks Foley about the Pope leading a prayer here in the 70s. Foley: *dead silence* that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard! I had to stop the tape from laughing so hard at that.

We’re told this is a popcorn match as this is some of the best commentary as I can ever remember. Goulet is pretty boring and Hangman isn’t any better. DEAD crowd. Cole says the Hangman is the forerunner of a lot of failed gimmicks in the future. See what I’m talking about? We talk about serial killers and rats to fill some time as a hot shot ends it.

Rating: F. Match was boring but I didn’t see much of it due to laughing so much. I’d love to hear some commentary on other matches like this later on. We still don’t know who Hangman is and we go to highlights of the match. Uh…why?

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Yeah this works. Hogan has the traditional colors on but is a heel here. Cole keeps talking about Mania 3 and their FIRST MATCH EVER! This show and match was a big blow to Hogan’s ego that he lies about to this day. He claims that he and Andre drew this house but for the whole summer this and Larry/Bruno were the top feuds. One time was Hogan/Andre the top listed match and it got about 40% of a house full. 3 months later they came back and did the traditional listings resulting in a full house. Real World: 1, Hogan: 0.

It’s so weird seeing the yellow and red as heel colors. Foley fought Andre in Japan. I never knew that. Those ropes are LOOSE. Black elbow pads for Hogan which is a weird look. Hogan with a headlock to start as it’s a long feeling out process. Far different match than you would get at Mania. Foley talks about being at a Harley Race BBQ where Race has a picture of him slamming Andre. Take that Hulk!

We get some cool Andre stories which are just amazing every time. Hogan has a hairy back. Now that’s a weird one to write out. Bearhug by Hogan and this is a very slow match. Andre blocks a slam with a hammerlock. Down goes the referee as Hogan gets slammed. Hogan slams Andre and it’s just a normal move other than Cole and Foley babbling about it. Funny though. Andre gets a splash and a tainted count to win it from another referee. He got out but the referee counted it anyway.

Rating: D. Boring match here but these two are always fun together. This is the unspoken match as everything that Vince didn’t want you to know about at Mania time happened here. This was quick and more or less harmless though. I’m very surprised that this went so fast though, not even getting 8 minutes. Andre got busted open after the match.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the tar out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling sucked but the commentary and atmosphere MORE than make up for it. This is probably the most interesting commentary I’ve ever heard as it’s really like hearing a director’s commentary on a DVD. It wasn’t about what was happening in the ring but rather about what was happening at this time and some very cool insight that you never get in regular shows. If you want to see this show good freaking luck finding it, but I’d recommend listening to it rather than watching it, which is a weird thing to say but very true. Recommended though and 85%+ of that is for the commentary.

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 26, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, JBL, Joey Styles

Well, it’s somewhat different this year but not by a lot. For one thing, Cena is the undisputed top guy in the company now, even surpassing HHH and Batista. HHH has been out of action since the Fall after tearing his quad again, and tonight is his epic return facing Booker T for no apparent reason other than he’s a big name for HHH to beat on. Your main event is Cena vs. Orton for the title, so you can really see how much difference two years makes.

I mean seriously, Cena was champion two years ago, so it’s not like they’re doing the same thing this year or anything. This was at the beginning of Orton’s rise to being one of the top dogs in the company as he is at the moment. He’d go on to win the title in about two months.On the Smackdown side, we have Batista vs. Khali. I don’t even need to make fun of that yet. Finally, the ECW Title has become much closer to what it is today, as we have Morrison vs. Punk for the belt. Also, this is about two months after the Benoit tragedy, and I’m going to leave it at that.

NXT
Date: August 9, 2011
Location: Power Balance Pavilion, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

It’s week….sweet mercy it’s week 23 of this show. This show started over five months ago. Think about that for a minute. What were you doing five months ago? This same stuff has been going on that long. The NFL season doesn’t run as long as the fifth season of this show. There hasn’t been an elimination in over a month. It might seem like I’m rambling here to fill in space. That’s because I am, as there’s nothing else to talk about regarding this season. Let’s get to it.

There’s a challenge ready to go in the ring and Striker gets cut off by Young. It’s something to do with eggs and spoons and finishing lines. Young says he’s not doing it and I think I know where this is going. Young says that Striker is just a wannabe while Young is a superstar. Uh…right. The obvious match is made.

Kidd says he’s facing Justin Gabriel tonight. Oh great now we’re bringing in MORE people to fight against people that have nothing to do with the contest anymore. Kidd isn’t afraid because he’s a pro. He also compares himself to British Bulldog and Bret. Ok then.

Summerslam ad.

BUY OUR PRODUCTS!

Tyson Kidd vs. Justin Gabriel

Regal points out that he wrestled Gabriel’s father in South Africa. Also Gabriel was the first rookie to pin a pro. That pro: William Regal. They hit the mat quickly and fight for control. Kidd takes him down and fires off some kicks. We get a Lance Storm reference as Kidd has been training with him recently. Kidd keeps his advantage as we go to a break. Regal stutters a lot as Gabriel counteres an Asai Moonsault.

After telling us to buy the latest top stars of whatever decade DVD and that bullying is bad except when it makes money for the company, we’re back with Kidd holding a chinlock. Kidd fires off some strikes and here’s another chinlock. With Gabriel draped over the bottom rope, Kidd tries a slingshot legdrop but lands on the apron due to Gabriel moving. Here’s the comeback and a spinwheel kick takes Tyson down. Roaring Elbow gets two. Kidd avoids the 450 but Justin doesn’t crash. Kidd goes to the floor and Gabriel hits a kick through the ropes and a corkscrew plancha.

Gabriel tries a springboard cross body but Kidd rolls through for two. They go to the mat again and get into a weird position. Justin grabs some kind of chinlock with his knee up but Kidd makes the rope. Kidd gets out of the way of another 450 and crotches Gabriel. Big kick sets up a springboard rana for two.

Gabriel grabs a sunset flip for two and we get a double leg nelson analysis from Regal. Kidd picks the leg and it’s off to a half crab (taken from Storm according to Regal). Justin rolls through into a pinning combination for two. Kidd gets his head taken off and Gabriel goes up but Kidd is in the middle of the ring. This isn’t a problem though and the 450 ends this at 14:45. That was impressive.

Rating: B. Very good match here as it was almost like an old WCW Cruiserweight match. The 450 to end it looked very good also as it was definitely the furthest he’s ever gone to hit it. The main issue with this match: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH NXT??? This doesn’t have anything to do with the rookies and the show is halfway over now and we haven’t even seen two of them. Wait why am I complaining? This was better than anything this show has done in months.

Darren Young vs. Matt Striker

Striker has tights with his name on them now. I’m so glad he didn’t have those last week. Striker takes him down and hammers away almost immediately. Regal says he trained Striker (partially) on one of his off days. Dave Taylor is the one that really trained him though, also according to Regal. Young takes him to the apron and gets a neckbreaker out there which gets two back inside.

Off to the chinlock and then he rams the arm into the post a few times. Young snaps off a belly to belly suplex and Striker lands on his head. Young hooks an armbar because he’s worked on the neck so far and he’s pretty stupid. Striker is bleeding from the nose and grabs something like a Gory Bomb. And never mind as Young grabs a fireman’s carry and drops backwards to drive both knees into the ribs for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match as Young has about his 5^th different finisher in about a year but whatever. I’m not sure I get the booking here. Why have Striker come back just to lose? What does it mean for Young that he can beat a guy that has had one match in four years? Striker looked decent and the blood helped it a lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a bit shaken up either.

We get the same long recap of Punk vs. Cena from last night.

Daniel Bryan is actually here and talks to Bateman. Bateman is playing some video game against Cena. Bryan turns off the TV and says that Bateman has been making a fool of himself lately. Until he figures that out, he’s on his own. That means we have one pro left of the three and he’s a leprechaun.

Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

The bell rings and the crowd goes SILENT. Titus hammers away early on but Bateman gets something like a standing blockbuster for two. Dropkick to the ribs gets two. Off to another chinlock which is broken up by Titus. The crowd is just not caring at all. Backbreaker puts Bateman down but Titus can’t follow up. Bateman picks him up and falls down, letting Titus get the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? I guess they didn’t have time for the full Punk vs. Cena segment from last night so we got a quick match instead. I wouldn’t get used to this as the rookies are a special attraction anymore it seems. Titus looked weak here and this was mainly more about Bateman looking lost without Bryan, because he’s had so much experience with him since the comeback right?

Post match Bateman goes after the Leprechaun but gets taken down and there’s a Tadpole Splash.

Overall Rating: C. That’s on an NXT scale, not a regular one. Yeah the wrestling was better, but we had three matches: One was a pro whose rookie is gone vs. a former NXT rookie, a rookie vs. a host and two rookies fighting again. One match actually means anything and that’s about it. What is the end game of any of this? The crowd going SILENT for rookie vs. rookie stuff is a very bad sign and it just needs to end already.

Results

Justin Gabriel b. Tyson Kidd – 450

Darren Young b. Matt Striker – Fireman’s carry into a gutbuster

Titus O’Neil b. Derrick Bateman – Pin after Bateman fell during a slam

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, JBL

So a few things have happened since last year, but a lot of the show is the same. DX is back, feuding with the McMahons, Edge has risen to prominence and is the WWE Champion, and Booker is now a British guy. Your main events are Booker vs. Batista and Cena vs. Edge, along with the DX vs. McMahon tag match. The other major difference is the return of ECW, which as usual has one match. This is far different than the ECW you see today, as the title match is Big Show vs. Sabu.

Hogan is here again, this time against Orton, while Flair and Foley are having an I Quit match, which would be Foley’s last big angle as he would leave for awhile very shortly after this, returning in about 9 months for a few appearances here and there before becoming commentator for about a month before leaving for TNA. That’s enough recap from me, so let’s do this. Oh one last thing. Angle would be released 5 days after this show and would debut for TNA about 5 weeks after this.

The opening video is generic to say the least. It’s just promos and clips from the three major feuds. I’m really disappointed in this.

The 6 announcers welcome us to the show which takes a few minutes. Lawler says that he’s the WWE’s original party animal which just amuses me.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Remember how I said I was disappointed? That’s nothing compared to this. This contest is being held because these two have been fighting over who was closer to Eddie. This is nothing short of disgusting to me. Eddie passed away less than a year ago, and this isn’t even the first angle that was because of him. I get that he was a huge star, but you don’t need to use him to further storylines.

Chavo says that Rey is living off of Eddie’s legacy, which in reality he likely was as he got the world title at Mania, but that’s a different argument for a different time. They show video packages of both men’s relationships with Eddie as I feel like I’m in 5th grade. Seriously, this is like two 8 year old girls arguing over who someone’s real best friend is. However, the other friend just happens to be dead. See? No matter how you say that it’s not respectful or paying tribute. IT’S CREEPY.

Also, the whole Dominick storyline is completely omitted. In other words, thanks to the magic of WWE, the whole angle about Eddie trying to destroy Rey’s family and steal his son has been completely forgiven. And people wonder why WWE is criticized so much. Apparently Chavo is retired or something but this is a one night only event. If only that were true. As much as I can’t stand JBL in the ring, he’s pretty good on commentary.

It’s nice to have him out there as he was a wrestler far more recently than Tazz was. Chavo cost Rey the title. Thanks for mentioning that 3 minutes into the match. JBL makes an Arturo Gatti reference which is just weird to hear at this point. Chavo is complaining that Rey is trying to make a name off of Eddie. Yeah, I don’t need to criticize that. JBL calls Chavo’s comeback the biggest one since the resurrection. Again, don’t even need to make fun of that.

JBL goes on to say that these are two of Smackdown’s best. If this is one night only, wouldn’t that mean he’s not on Smackdown at the moment? Rey is having mask issues so we take a short break. Ok I like JBL. He’s actually really good at this. They both stand on the top rope and…just kind of jump off. Yeah that spot looked really stupid. Bradshaw keeps calling him Shavo which is getting annoying.

Yeah JBL is already getting annoying. If he says “He’s a Guerrero!” one more time I’m going to scream. Eddie was a groomsman at JBL’s wedding? How much do they want to break down the walls between reality and kayfabe? 619 but Chavo avoids the senton and they go to the floor. Vickie, now with about another 50 pounds on her and in full annoying mode heads to the ring and goes after Chavo for no apparent reason, slapping him.

The three amigos get Chavo booed out of the building. Cole calls a hurricanrana a headscisscors. Since Chavo got booed out of the building for the triple suplexes, Rey does them as well as everyone is being booed now. Rey goes up for a frog splash and Vickie tries to stop him, resulting him in him getting crotched. Chavo hits a suplex which is called a brainbuster, leading to the frog splash as Vickie screams to win it. Post match, they still won’t shut up about how it’s about family etc.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the rating is hurt a lot as this storyline is just flat out horrid. It’s completely disrespectful, and while it got both of the Guerreros jobs, it just wasn’t needed. There were about a dozen other ways to do this that wouldn’t be disrespectful at all, nor would they have ticked off the crowd. I hated this, but the wrestling was ok I guess. It would have been better if I had watched it muted.

Booker and Sharmell are in the back with Booker still being British, which is oddly a far better gimmick for him. He was completely generic as Booker T, but this is quite memorable. Edge and Lita come in and they argue about who the most powerful couple in wrestling is. That would be Vince and Linda.

This would lead to the triple threat challenge at Cyber Sunday which was all three championships on the line at the same time and was ended by Kevin freaking Federline. They make a bet about their title matches that didn’t mean anything at all in the end.

Ad for the best managers DVD. That’s a lost art in wrestling anymore.

It’s time for the ECW title match. The story is pretty simple: Big Show is ECW Champion and Sabu wants to be. Sabu won a ladder match against Van Dam on ECW to get this match, albeit with help from Show. Styles screams that this was VINTAGE ECW. Is this a running joke that we just never caught on to?

ECW Title: Sabu vs. Big Show

This is extreme rules, and for the ECW WORLD Title. Yes it was called a world title back then. For those of you that haven’t seen Sabu before, consider yourself lucky. He’s the epitome of everything that’s wrong with hardcore wrestling as his skills were limited at best and dangerous at worst. However, he was an extreme icon, so it’s all good. The ECW belt looks like a toy on Show. Within 5 seconds of the bell, Sabu has hit Show 4 times with a chair. That’s a good way of foreshadowing the match.

Show steps on it and crushes the chair which looks cool. This is more or less just Sabu using weapons and Show beating him up. It’s a simple formula but it’s working to an extent. The chair shots sounds SICK. If you think Hardy botches moves, he’s Bret Hart compared to Sabu. It’s table time, as Sabu is the guy that made them famous, far more so than the Dudleys who are more known for them.

Sabu gets him through the table which the more I think about it the more I think that it is nowhere near as great of a spot as it’s built up to be. A Vader Bomb pretty much kills the Arabian. Big Show brings in a table and stairs which is a cheap indy show name if I’ve ever heard one. Show sets up a tiny bridge with a table over two sets of stairs.

Sabu climbs on it and of course it falls over, so he sets it again as Show just looks at him. Naturally, he’s booed for it. Chokeslam through the table ends this, even though Sabu is on the table and therefore his shoulders are technically up, but why am I trying to use logic on a match like this?

Rating: C. It was a hardcore match with good chair shots. What are you really expecting here? It was fine for what it was, but it’s nothing special. Sabu as usual was just flat out horrid and Show didn’t have to do much. It was ok, as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

We see Layla winning the Diva Search. Yeah I don’t care either. In the divas locker room, Layla shows off her horrible acting skills while Trish yells at her for saying she doesn’t belong here. Truer words have never been spoken. Three years have passed and Layla still can’t do crap. Of course, in the end Trish is fine with it and everything is cool. They take her into the shower and spray her down with water. Yeah, it’s stupider than it sounds.

A band called the Teddybears did the theme song. Is there a point to these things that I’m missing?

We get a recap of Hogan vs. Orton, which is billed perfectly as legend vs. legend killer. These Hogan highlight packages are always cool. More or less all this happened for was to get Hogan’s reality show pushed and to promote Brooke. Orton hit on her and Hogan stopped him, resulting in Hogan getting RKOed on a car.

We also get highlights of all the legends that Orton hit with the RKO, which is a decent list I guess. We even got a parody complete with impersonators. More or less, this is Orton replacing Shawn, but lower on the card, as it should be.

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Wow Hogan goes on third? That’s very surprising. Unless I’m overlooking something, this is Hogan’s last match to date in WWE. He appeared once other than this at the 15th anniversary where he fought off Khali, but other than that he’s been gone. You know it’s a good thing Vince is rich. He has to pay a lot of money for roofs. Hogan of course gets the legendary pop that he deserves. Ross of course mentions that Hogan has a bad knee. Hulk Hogan doesn’t get hurt you idiot.

Hogan definitely is looking smaller here, but he’s still muscular. The reaction for Hogan really is awesome. I love the old school merchandise like the towel and shirts. The entrance goes on forever just like the old school ones did. This is always fun and this is no exception. This is a much better reaction than he got last year and I think it’s because they got the formula right: Hogan vs. evil. That was the problem with Shawn.

He was still a face so why would we want to see Hogan beat him up? The fans didn’t buy it so while it worked, it wasn’t great. It’s weird seeing someone being taller than Orton. In a head scratcher, Hogan gets put in a headlock and goes down to one knee in just a few seconds. Everyone goes a bit blind as the headband goes off. They use an overhand wristlock and it looks decent. I’m quite surprised. Other than shoving Orton at the beginning, it’s been all Orton.

Dang it why is it that every time I say that the comeback begins? Hogan gets on the second rope and punches him, which for some reason surprises JR. It’s not like this is a new thing for him. He hits a clothesline with authority, which is another term that’s never made sense. How can a clothesline have authority? Can it give you an infraction while you try to start a resistance? The bias for Hogan and his rule breaking will never cease to amuse me.

In a weird time, they mention that the fans from the old AWA days remember the times when he refused to obey the rules. Why not just go with the time he was a heel in the far more famous WCW? Maybe there’s something to that theory of WWE never mentioning WCW because they know it’s better. Orton finally goes for the knee which is what makes sense all along, as given away by the massive knee braces on both legs.

They finally mention that Hogan was the main event of Summerslam 90, which I’ve long since theorized. Apparently Orton is craving to be loved. Thank you Sigmund Ross. Orton slides under the big boot just like Shawn did last year and hits the picture perfect dropkick. Screw Bob Holly. Orton’s dropkick is perfect. Now here we have something that makes me change my mind about a lot of the criticisms that Hogan gets.

Randy hits the RKO and covers, and Hogan doesn’t kick out. He puts his foot on the rope. That’s very subtle but when you think about it, that’s a huge show of respect to Orton. Of all of the big finishers that Hogan has been hit with over the years, I’ve never seen him not kick out of it with that big power move. He didn’t power out of the RKO. He had to use the weaker kickout. That’s a huge show of support for the young kid and it makes him look dominant.

The thing is they never mentioned it as a big deal, despite it being one of the biggest rubs that Hogan has ever given anyone. Anyway, Orton celebrates because he thinks that he’s beaten the legend himself and maybe he has a right to, but Hogan’s foot didn’t go unnoticed by the referee despite the announcers being completely oblivious to it.

Hogan staggers to his feet and limps around in a circle shaking his head which is a truly sad sight to see in my eyes as he just doesn’t have the physical strength anymore to do it the way he used to. We all know how this is going to go. Hogan circles Orton, shakes a finger in his face, kicks him in the head and after about 15 seconds, drops the leg for the pin.

I love how nonchalant Hogan is after the legdrop, as if to say yeah I know he’s not getting up for a month. Lawler marks out like an 8 year old for this and I love that. If this were anyone else I’d hate it but in this case it’s fine as this is Hulk Hogan. He’s the greatest ever and he should be treated as such. As Hogan celebrates we see a guy with a tattoo of Hogan all over his entire back. That’s either creepy or awesome.

Rating: B. This is exactly what a modern Hogan match is supposed to be. You have a young guy that is kind of proven but not quite and he just can’t beat Hogan despite getting close. Now some of you again might say that Hogan didn’t give Randy the rub here, but on a closer look he did.

That lack of a kickout of the RKO was in reality was huge. It made Orton look like a monster because it was enough to stop the super kickout from Hogan, which no other move has ever done in history. That’s about as big of a rub as you could give.

We see a big party that was held yesterday announcing the debut of 24/7. Kennedy is there, which amuses me.

Foley is in the back and Melina comes up and hugs him. Now this was a very interesting storyline that I wish had been given more time to develop. Flair had run down Foley in his book and Foley did the same. There was a real life feud between these two but they’ve since patched things up. Melina was a real life friend of Foley who was stuck in the middle of this for some reason. They had agreed to an I Quit match here after having a pretty bad one at Vengeance.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

Sweet goodness Lillian is amazing looking. Foley brings in some weapons with him. It’s weird seeing Foley more or less as the heel and Flair as the face. There is legit animosity between these two which always helps things get better. Foley jumps him and it’s on. Running knee to the face in the first ten seconds from Foley. And then he does it again with the garbage can.

Mandible Claw goes on and Flair is down. This is more or less a squash almost but Foley grabs the mic and says make it easy on yourself and say it’s over. Naturally it’s not over and Foley gets barbed wire. On his alternate commentary from his DVD, Foley says he felt he didn’t have aggression here and he felt bad about it. Flair wraps barbed wire around his hand and CHOPS FOLEY. This left a HUGE scar on his chest that he shows on the DVD and it’s awful looking.

Barbed wire board is rammed into the face of Flair and he slides under the ring to blade I think. Oh yeah he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Something I’d like to do here is time how long between that chant starting and the amount of time before they’re introduced. Teasing them like that is a great idea as we have to wait for awhile instead of instant gratification.

Barbed wire board dropped on Flair results in him shouting obscenities to Foley. Foley busts out the tacks as there hasn’t been much of anything from Flair here. Flair is slammed onto the tacks for the second time in about two weeks after Show did it to him on ECW recently. Dang there are a ton of tacks in Flair’s arms.

Time for the barbed wire bat here. Flair is bleeding like crazy at this point. And now Flair sends him into the post and beats his arm with the bat. Foley is apparently wearing a Japanese Cactus Jack t-shirt. BIG bump as Foley is on the apron and Flair gets a running start with the bat and sends Foley to the floor and he bangs his head on the concrete. Cue Melina down to the ring to check on Foley who is out and the referee stops it.

Ok never mind as Flair decides that’s not enough so we’re going to keep going. Flair says he didn’t say I Quit so we keep going. He beats on Foley even more until Melina throws the towel in for him and says he quits. Foley still didn’t say I Quit so I don’t get why Flair would accept that either. Oh ok he didn’t. Foley quits seconds later I think after Flair threatens to hit Melina.

Rating: B-. On Foley’s DVD he does commentary for this match and he says that it wasn’t a very good match despite having a massive scar on his chest from the barb wire spot. He said that he never really took this as far as he could have to make it a truly bloody classic, but he thought it was ok. I would have to disagree with him to an extent though as it was at least decent.

Having Melina play into the equation at the end was a great move, despite her turning on Foley and having him fired less than a week later. I also really like the false ending as it makes you wonder how far they’re going to take this one.

Vince and Shane are in the back with Estrada. They more or less say that Umaga will be backing them up tonight. JBL gets in one of the best secretive lines you’ll ever hear as he calls him Armando Ali Baba Estrada. Back in OVW, Estrada played an Iranian character named Osama. That’s a very nice little inside joke.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Batista

There’s no buildup here other than Booker is champion and Batista never actually lost the title but had to drop it due to injury. Booker’s wife just does nothing but shout “All hail King Booker!” over and over. JBL’s sucking up is quite humorous. She’s at 11 times already. After 15 of them, we finally get Booker’s entrance. Isn’t that in essence a jobber entrance? He’s already in the ring when his announcement is made. Yep, Booker gets no respect.

Batista gets a solid pop but nothing mind blowing. This was one of three consecutive Smackdown PPV main events involving these two, so you really don’t have to think that hard about why there were jokes about how repetitive these shows were. If I remember right these two had a legit fight backstage at some point and Booker beat up Batista with relative ease.

They botch a spinkick spot but I’m not sure who is to blame. Booker throws the kick but Batista wasn’t there so they had to have him keep spinning. It didn’t look that good. We get a loud and long boring chant as the first 2-3 minutes of this is primarily Booker having Batista in a chinlock. Batista is quite rusty here which is certainly playing a role here. Booker hits him with the scepter on the floor, which means Batista is moving even slower than he was before and that’s saying a lot.

Back in to an arm hold, which is the same thing as a chinlock in essence. The crowd chants she’s got herpes at Sharmell. This is just amusing. Booker gets crotched by missing a kick, so Batista, ever the strategist and in ring general, picks him up and drops him the same way over another rope. What’s the point of that? Couldn’t he do something more original than that?

Booker hits a missile dropkick which used to be his finishing move in WCW, yet here is just a run of the mill move and the same thing happens with the Book End. JBL makes a bowling analogy which makes me shake my head. Batista hits a jackhammer which Booker pops up from. I love how neither of these guys have an original move to save their life.

Batista hits a bad full nelson slam to set up the power bomb. Sharmell runs in and slaps Batista for the DQ. Yes that’s actually the finish they went with. Post match Batista beats up Booker and BADLY botches the Batista Bomb. He barely got him up and it looked like he was trying to use it on Khali.

Rating: D. For the second year in a row Batista has the worst match of the night. It was barely over 10 minutes long, it was about 4 and a half minutes of rest holds, and the finish was completely stupid. Batista botches so much out there that it was just horrid. If you want to know where the stigma of Batista sucks comes from, I present to you Exhibit A. This was just flat out awful all around and felt like it belonged on Smackdown.

Jeff Hardy is coming to Raw.

DX is talking to someone who we can’t see and they tell him that Vince said Umaga is the biggest monster in the company.

Recap of DX vs. the McMahons and the feud that Satan is afraid of. This feud went on ALL summer and produced only a handful of decently funny moments. It was way too long and was stupid, primarily as it was DX vs. the Spirit Squad, who were tag champions at the time.

Despite beating them about 5 times, DX never won the tag titles. Why that’s the case is beyond me. It might be because they couldn’t have two major stars as champions. That couldn’t happen. We need our male cheerleaders blast it!

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. DX

In case you’ve forgotten it, Shawn made his Summerslam debut in a 6 man tag in 1989. Just thought I’d remind you because JR has only said it at the last three Summerslams. We get the traditionally way too long DX intro. Good night Lillian looks great. HHH says that we need to get ready to suck it. Shawn says if you’re not down with that, they’re going to tell you to suck it. Well I’m glad we’ve got so many choices to pick from.

To say JR doesn’t like Vince is an understatement. Apparently one day Vince will run a hostile takeover of the afterlife. Spirit Squad runs out and uses their trampoline to come in. Two backdrops, a toss over the ropes, Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree later they’re gone and HHH has a new sweatband. Finlay, Regal and Kennedy run out to beat on DX. The McMahons haven’t even left the stage yet in case you were wondering.

While the club from Finlay would usually drop Khali, since it’s used on DX, it has little effect at all. Big Show is here now and as they try to fight him, we finally have some logic as the other EIGHT GUYS that DX beat up finally wake up and help out, so it’s 9 on 2 here with the McMahons still to come. See, this is the first time ever that I can recall where Vince finally had a brain and realized he owned an army of guys to beat up whomever he was feuding with at the time.

He’d always send one at a time. You own the company Vince. Send out 10 guys at once or something to beat the other dude up. See how effective it can be? I really feel sorry for Styles and Tazz as they’ve been sitting there all night doing nothing after calling a single match. That’s just stupid. Why not have them sit up near the entrance so they can at least go sit in the back after their match? HHH goes through the ECW table as Vince and Shane finally are in the ring.

JR is really getting annoying with this running Vince down. We finally have a bell. It’s Vince against Shawn to start. Ross calls the heels the money maniacs. That’s like the main event of Summerslam 88 from my nightmares. HHH is still on the floor from the chokeslam through the table. HHH tries to get up but Shane hits a baseball slide to knock him onto JR and King. Ross flips HHH over as he’s ticked off about being covered by a big sweaty man.

The way it looked was just quite funny. Demolition Decapitator or whatever that move was called lands on Shawn. The McMahons hit a Hart Attack which is just appropriate being used on HBK. This is followed up by a Doomsday Device. This is actually kind of cool. Of course HBK kicks out though and this isn’t even surprising to the announcers. You have to love the power of kayfabe don’t you? Shawn finally gets a tag and HHH looks perfectly fresh.

Even Hulk Hogan thinks a comeback like this is stupid. JR says it’s adrenaline. I say it’s nonsense. As if 9 run ins weren’t enough, we make it a perfect ten as Umaga comes out. Oh wait it’s 11 since Estrada is with him. We now have 15 people in this match, not counting the referee and 4 announcers, all of which have been involved in this match. Counting Lillian, that’s 21 people that have been at ringside that we know the names of and have been involved in this match somehow.

Anyone else think that’s a lot? It turns out that the person DX was talking to was Kane who chases Umaga off to start their feud which, shockingly enough, Kane jobbed in. Shane sets up for Coast to Coast but Shawn…knees him in the leg I guess, to stop it. Of course it’s called Sweet Chin Music. It’s probably good that he did that as Shane would have been about a foot short. Vince takes both finishers to end this mess.

The recaps and celebration goes on for about two and a half minutes just to make sure we know that this was really a huge win for our triumphant heroes. Somewhere around JR’s 8th sports analogy for how amazing DX’s win is, the faces are finally about to leave the arena. Oh wait, we have MORE replays for you. To begin with, they set for their double pose but I think Shawn’s elbow is hurt as he can’t do the double bicep. He was holding it earlier after going ove the top rope with Shane.

They do a very good job of changing the camera angle for the Shane kick as it’s from behind Shawn now and therefore looks like he actually got the kick. That’s very smart and well done so points for that. Some big fat guy comes out about a foot and Shawn sort of acknowledges him, which I’d assume is someone saying to wrap this up as it’s over. I don’t think he was supposed to be on camera.

Rating: C-. This was a very hard one to grade as it’s just a mess. With more than ten people running in that aren’t involved in the match at all, it’s a hard one to grade. However, I’ll give them credit for FINALLY getting the idea behind Vince as the evil owner right. However, at the end of the day, there was too much going on here for it to be taken seriously. The flaw with this feud is simple: DX are former world champions, and Vince and Shane are businessmen.

There’s no reason to believe that the McMahons would have a chance at all here. Granted they got the theory correct by adding in a lot of people that know what they’re doing to make the feud more interesting. It was better than I’m making it sound, but it wasn’t great.

Kane actually helped out a lot here as he took away some of the ridiculous odds for DX. JR needs to shut up though, as for about 20 minutes he did nothing but talk about how great DX was and how evil the McMahons were. It’s one thing to mention it a few times, but he must have cracked the 20s in times he complained about it. It was completely annoying and WAY overdone.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

Time for the final recap of the night as we look at Cena vs. Edge. They tried as hard as they could to make this an epic feud and they got as close as possible without actually getting there. Edge won MITB in 2005 and shocked the world by stealing the title in January after an Elimination Chamber win by Cena. I remember watching that match and texting a former friend of mine that was a diehard Cena mark. I told her the next day that Cena lost the title to Edge and she almost fell over.

The reaction was great. Cena got the title back soon enough but Edge won it from RVD on Raw in July. Edge beat up Cena’s father 6 days prior to this, and Cena is the hometown boy here. We cut to the theme song of the show to get more clips from this feud, including the live sex celebration that as I’ve said a dozen times, was nothing special. It truly wasn’t. It was them moving around under a blanket and nothing more. Big freaking deal.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Apparently if Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction. The main selling point here is Cena’s father, which makes a lot of sense actually. Lita needs to freaking cut her bangs. You have a hot face. Show it off. She’s Women’s Champion here which was her final reign I believe. Correction it’s her next to last reign as she would lose to Trish next month in Toronto so Trish could retire as champion.

Lita was gone in November, leaving the whole division completely destroyed, the issues of which are still being felt to this day. This is more or less standard stuff with Edge getting close to a bunch of count out wins. On one of these, Edge knocks Cena to the floor and Cena’s eyes are just hilarious. They’re bugged out all over the place as he looks like he just remembered that Christmas is tomorrow or some other cliché from a bad movie.

For some reason I have My Immortal by Evanescence stuck in my head. As you can tell, this match isn’t holding my attention that well. Fans are solidly behind Edge it would seem. You have to love that in Cena’s hometown he’s still not popular. This was the era that Cena was beginning to be truly despised by a lot of fans in, as he was just constantly shoved down our throats, and it would only get worse as the year long title reign was coming.

However, I think those criticisms are unfair for one simple reason: who else was the title going to go on? HHH would be injured in just a few months, HBK lost to Cena at Mania before feuding with Orton and would leave for knee surgery (which had to be legit. It’s an HBK knee injury after all), and Cena was feuding with Edge right here. In short, who was there left to put the belt on, Umaga? See what I mean? There were no other choices other than for Cena to hold the title.

We get a Cena chant that is a lot stronger than I think it actually was if that makes sense. Cena starts his huge comeback of all his standard stuff, complete with an STFU. Lita sets up with the belt to hit Cena but Edge says no as it would cost him the title. She slips him some brass knucks after he makes the ropes though. FU is countered and Edge nails him in the back of the head with the brass which sounds awesome to end it and the show.

Rating: C+. This was fine, but just fine. It’s nothing epic at all despite what the announcers would like you to believe. There really wasn’t a solid main event this year and it showed bad. This would probably be the best choice for it though, as there’s not a lot that would have topped this.

Either way, the match was just ok, but it felt like the title should have changed here. It would change the next month in Toronto as Cena was booed out of the building, so why wait? Why not have Cena get the big win here in his own hometown? Either way, this was ok but nothing great.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is the epitome of slightly above average. Everything on it is just ok. There isn’t a big moment or a big match that makes it jump off the page at you, as Flair and Foley or Cena/Edge is probably the match of the night by pure default. It’s an ok show and watchable, but it’s nothing great at all.

DX vs. McMahons was ok, but just ok. That’s the only thing I can think of to describe any of the matches on here: ok, but just ok. It’s nothing special at all and because of that, it’s right in the middle of recommended and not recommended. Some might like it but others will be bored out of their minds.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 2011
Location: HP Pavilion Arena, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and we have four matches scheduled.  I’d expect a BIG push towards Cena vs. Punk which is really the only thing that has been built on the entire show.  That’s something this show needs though: a single match to build the whole thing around.  Hopefully the card gets some meat on it tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He says the usual stuff about Sunday: it’s a huge match, it’ll change WWE forever, he can only be trusted so he’s the referee….all that jazz. Tonight we’ll get the contract signing for the match at Summerslam. Both guys are in action tonight and Cena is up first.

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger

We get some clips of Cena talking to HHH during the entrance, saying that it’s an ego thing. HHH says whatever he wants to happen in the ring on Sunday will happen. Swagger takes it to the mat quickly but stops to do his run around the ring. Cena proves to be smarter than the rest of Jack’s opponents and levels him as he does it. The champ busts out a Stinger Splash in the corner and a dropkick for two.

Swagger takes over with a shoulder block and we hit a double chickenwing. Cena wakes up and takes Swagger down. The STF doesn’t work so Cena starts up his finishing sequence instead. Not that any of that matters as he casually picks Swagger up for the Attitude Adjustment to end this clean at 5:30.

Rating: C-. This was fine if not a little boring. Cena was supposed to look solid here and that’s what he did. With Punk being in action later I’d assume we’ll see him in action against Kofi which should be fine. Not much of a match here but that was the point for the most part: making Cena look dominant.

Rey vs. Punk later on.

The Wrestlemania Recall is Bret vs. Perfect in their classic from 1991.

Surprisingly enough it’ll be Alberto facing Punk tonight. He talks about how Punk ran from him to end MITB so tonight we’ll see what would have happened.

We recap Truth vs. Morrison which is what sent Truth over the edge. In the back Truth says he’s a good R-Truth and Josh asks him why he would take advantage of Morrison. Truth says why a lot. Why do hot dogs come 8 to a pack when buns come 6 to a pack? Why does he hate spiders? He’s glad Josh asked that. He hates them because they’re small and silent. No one is friends with spiders. STOP WHATING ME! Truth talks about his grandmother getting vegetables together and making spider stew, but only Little Jimmy would eat it. Truth is crushing a spider later.

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz jumps him during the entrance and beats him down. He throws him into the big WWE logo and kicks Rey’s head into it. Referees take Rey out and Miz comes to the ring. Cole talks to Miz about what happened and there’s no match. Miz wants to talk about his match on Sunday but he doesn’t have one and he isn’t happy. He’s all over mainstream TV right now but he’s got nothing going on Sunday. He wants to know why but he also wants a referee to come down here right now and declare him the winner by forfeit.

A referee comes out but won’t raise the hand. Apparently HHH has made a new match.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Basics to start until Kofi gets a dropkick for two. Miz beats him down into the corner as Cole talks about how great Miz is. Ross talks about having diet cookies with skim milk and barbecue sauce. Kofi gets a Thesz Press and then a suicide dive to Miz on the floor. We take a break with Kofi being all fired up.

Back with Miz holding a chinlock. They trade some strikes and Kofi gets some near falls. Miz goes up and hits a double axe off the top. Kofi tries to speed up and tries a splash in the corner. Miz moves so Kofi jumps to the top and hits a spinning cross body for two that looked sweet. Miz tries a superplex but Kofi counters into a sunset bomb for two. This has gotten a lot better after the break. Trouble in Paradise misses but Miz can’t hit the Finale. Miz drapes him over the top and hits the Finale to win at 10:45.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better after the break once they got into a rhythm. This was some nice back and forth stuff and Miz got a win that he needed. Kofi’s cross body was really impressive too. Again though, can we please get Kofi some direction? He just stumbles around the show all the time and has been for over a year.

Punk says HHH needs to keep his nose out of the match and is doing this for his own ego. Punk beating Cena again is good for business. Oh and he’ll beat Alberto.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Punk is almost turning face before our eyes. The fans are all behind him here even though they’re on all sides of him. Feeling out period to start until Punk charges in the corner and hits his shoulder against the post. Alberto works on the arm as is his custom and the fans are still totally behind Punk. Del Rio tries something off the ropes but slips to the floor.

Punk gets going and hits the springboard clothesline for two. He tries the GTS but Alberto reverses and sends his shoulder into the post again. Alberto tries the cross armbreaker which is reversed into a big old kick upside his head. GTS hits and we’re done clean at 4:45. Kind of surprised it ended that fast.

Rating: C-. Eh this was ok. Punk did almost the same thing as Cena earlier and that’s a nice touch on the show. I’m not sure what to expect on Sunday but this was pretty expected here. Punk’s reactions from the crowd are getting harder to ignore and it’s going to be very interesting to see where they go post Cena feud.

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

I wouldn’t bet on this lasting long. Eve has a remix of her song which sucks. She does look good in green though. Beth beats on her a lot until Eve gets in a kick to the back. That gets her nowhere but a kick off the middle rope does. Eve goes up but gets dropped. Glam Slam and we’re done at 2:56. Not long enough to rate but Beth looks good in black and Eve has great legs so this was far from a failure.

Post match Beth says she’s going to change the Divas division, basically threatening to take out the sexuality. We’re ignoring her MASSIVE cleavage here I guess. Kelly jumps her and stares her down.

Package on Miz and Cena at the Teen Choice Awards.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley

Riley insults Vickie’s breath pre match. Riley takes over quickly and gets a fast two. Vickie is SCREECHING. There’s a sleeper very quickly but Alex breaks it. There’s a spinebuster but Vickie is in the ring. She yells at him a lot and slaps him for the DQ at 1:30. That should set up a rematch for the title on Sunday.

Post match Alex punches Dolph, knocking him into Vickie.

Long recap of Punk vs. Cena, including a narrator about the things at MITB.

We run down the Summerslam card and there are still just four matches.

R-Truth vs. John Morrison

Morrison starts hammering away to start and the C4 hits a few seconds in. Morrison sends him to the floor and hits a big corkscrew plancha to the floor, taking out the referee in the process. This has been more of a beating/brawl than a match. John goes into the crowd and tries to climb onto the barrier.

Truth sweeps the leg and Morrison crashes onto the bacrricade on the back of his neck. Morrison dives in at the last second and is stomped down even more. Off to a chinlock which makes sense in this case. Jump downward spiral misses and here comes Jomo. The second attempts at the jumping spiral (NAME IT ALREADY) hits though and we’re done at 4:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here and Morrison’s dive was cool. The neck work made sense here so I can’t complain on that regard. I’m rather surprised that this didn’t go down on Sunday but maybe it will in a gimmick match or something. Nothing too good but it was fine for what they could do in four minutes.

Next week Rey is using his rematch clause to face whoever the undisputed champion is in his hometown of San Diego.

Here’s Christian to hype the world title match at Mania. Both of them will be fighting on Friday. Christian has an announcement on Friday and says it would be good for HHH to be there.

Time for the contract signing. Punk cuts HHH off by saying this is all for show. We might as well cut to the chase and flip the table over and brawl. He feels like he’s on Conan O’Brien or something and is about to have a clip from his latest movie. He does however have a movie star to explain why he hates Cena. A real movie star that is, not the guy from the Chaperone.

It’s a Rock promo which was released a few weeks ago. He basically makes fun of Cena’s clothes and his entrances plus the dueling chants. Rock calls Cena a phony in this. After the clip, CM says that Dwayne is just as phony as Cena. Cena talks about how he likes it when guys like Rock and Punk talk about him.

Now it’s time for some truth. Rock is a legit star and he has his millions. No matter what Cena says or how long they battle it out, he’ll never win over the millions. He talks about how people say he needs to increase his workrate or add to the 5 moves of doom (his words not mine) or he needs to let his heel persona shine out. Cena talks about the Yankees line that Punk said last week and how he likes it now because it gets a reaction no matter what. He talks about Punk asking for all of those perks and says if he wants to see a phony, just look in the mirror.

HHH gets in on this and says that Punk more or less held out for more money and a few perks right? Punk goes off on Johnny Ace (he was here too by the way) and asks about the four releases on Friday, asking if any of those were to his face. Punk talks about winning his first title (ECW Title) and having Cena say good job and he had almost give up on Punk. This is an insult somehow.

Yes, Punk held the company up for more perks but everyone else would have also. Cena won his first title in Los Angeles and this Sunday he’ll lose the WWE Championship. He’ll still be a big star and have his fight with Dwayne, but he’ll have nothing. Punk signs and Cena looks at him. He asks if Punk knows how much pressure is on him on Sunday. Punk won one match in Chicago.

Cena wants to know if Punk has thought about what happens if Punk loses at Summerslam. Punk isn’t happy. Cena says win lose or draw he’s facing The Rock at Mania. Punk however needs this match because now everyone is watching him. Everyone is listening to him now because that mic in his hands is a pipebomb. However if he loses, he’s a one hit wonder.

He’ll be known as Buster Douglas, Yahoo Serious (who?) and Milli Vanilli. If Punk loses, it’s all gone. Cena signs and says good luck. Punk says luck is for losers and he’d rather be a one hit wonder than a phony. Cena says the talking is wearing a bit thin and both guys stand up. There go the belts and there goes the table. Johnny Ace splits them up so Punk fires a kick which hits Ace. HHH tries to split them up and Cena accidentally hits/shoves him down. HHH isn’t happy and Punk leaves. Punk wants to know if the fix is in.

Overall Rating: B-. I wasn’t all that into this one but the last segment helped it a lot. This was supposed to build to Summerslam and we started with a card of four matches and left with only a referee added to that. Punk vs. Cena was pushed but nothing happened that made me want to see it more. Some of the wrestling was good but overall this just pushed one match. That’s fine when most of the card is filled out but that isn’t the case here. Kind of a misfire here but nothing was horrible so we’ll call it ok.

Results

John Cena b. Jack Swagger – Attitude Adjustment

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale

CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – GTS

Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

Alex Riley b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Vickie Guerrero interfered

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a rather nice cheerleader, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the heck does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Hardcore Justice 2011
Date: August 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Well at least there’s no ECW tonight. This card looks like it’s loaded up with a lot of stuff that not many people other than the really big fans would be interested in. The main event is Sting vs. Angle because goodness knows we haven’t seen those two fight enough in the past. I’d assume some kind of shenanigans because this is a TNA show after all. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Sting vs. Angle with Sting going all crazy. He seems to like it. Angle is coming after Sting and the title though. Sting needs the belt right now to help fight Hogan and Bischoff and bring back Carter. Sting says he hasn’t snapped but that he just feels good. Angle says that it’s just business.

They even have a sponsor tonight: Direct Auto Insurance. That’s a good thing.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries

Taz says he sees a lot of himself in Aries. Not sure on that one. Kendrick has some weird new music and he’s back in the shorts. Well long shorts but whatever. There’s a big brown thing on the front that looks like a huge patch. Aries is sent to the floor quickly and has no issues with just chilling out there. Well you can’t say he’s not thinking. Not that this isn’t the strategy of almost every heel in a triple threat or anything but still.

Down to a one on one match at the moment and Shelley takes him to the mat. They ask for Aries to come back in but he declines. Alex throws on a wristlock as Aries is getting back in very slowly. And never mind as he’s right back outside. The fans are behind Shelley here. Shelley backs him into the corner and Aries holds him in place there. Not sure why but he just kind of did.

Shelley pops Aries on the apron and Austin is down again. Ah there he is and never mind as he’s knocked to the floor again. They totally botch something as Shelley is suplexing Kendrick and Aries is supposed to catch him but he misses Kendrick completely. Then Austin rakes Shelley’s back…and falls down. No idea what that was supposed to be but it’s booed loudly.

The faces slug it out and Shelley is sent to the floor. Austin pops Kendrick to stop the dive though as Taz calls him a funky looking possum. Kendrick gets backdropped to the floor and hits his foot/ankle on the apron on the way down. Aries sets for a dive of some sort but Shelley breaks it up. What’s good for the funky possum is good for Skunk Boy I guess. Aries sends them both to the floor and stands tall for a few seconds. The Possum flies and his advantage continues.

Back in a Lionsault by Aries lands on the knees of Shelley. Aries is down and Kendrick gets caught in a Crossface. The only non rodent named person gets to the rope. Alex can’t get Sliced Bread but does get a Dragon Screw Leg Whip to put the champion down. Shelley goes up for what presumably was to be the splash but Aries makes the save. I’ve never gotten that: why not let Shelley take Kendrick out THEN jump Shelley so you can steal the pin on Kendrick?

Aries is sent to the floor (film at 11) and Shelley puts that freaky leg lock on the champion again. Aries saves and bulldogs Shelley, putting him into an inverted chinlock (Benoit used to do it a lot). Kendrick vs. Aries now and Austin takes two different feet to the face. Sliced Bread is countered again so they try a Tower of Doom/Mega Sliced Bread move on Shelley but Kendrick falls off the top. Brainbuster hits Shelley but Kendrick saves and hits Sliced Bread to Aries onto Shelley, who he pins to retain.

Rating: C+. The botches hurt this a lot here, especially the one at the end. When one noticeable botch happens it’s understandable it’s ok but two that big in one match hurts it too much. Still though, pretty fun although they never hit that huge gear you would have expected. A lack of dives, the whole point of the division, hurt it also. Still though fine for an opener and nothing bad.

Tessmacher and Tara talk about the brawl with Sarita/Rosita and we get to see why Tessmacher should be seen and not heard. Tara guarantees a win and says “Come on Brooke.” It’s about time she had a first name.

Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

The challengers (I’ve been yelled at for referring to a Mexican that portrays a Mexican who is called Mexicans as a Mexican so it’s challengers now) look good in their red, white and green flag outfits of a country it’s apparently racist to say by name. Tessmacher looks good in red but not as good as in blue. The challengers’ male counterparts (who are of no apparent nationality or race whatsoever) are sent to the back.

Tara vs. Rosita (loving the white shorts) start but it’s off to Sarita who looks like a freaky Christmas present. The challengers keep tagging quickly as it’s back to Rosita who snaps off a rana on Tara. Tara’s response: KICK HER IN THE FACE. Why mess with the basics? This breaks down quickly and it’s Tessmacher being all feisty. She gets her face rammed into the buckle though and the challengers take over.

The fans chant for Brooke and then Tessmacher. Tazz makes an Andy Devine reference or something similar to that. Tessmacher gets beaten down but manages to grab a rollup for two and a tag as well. Tara comes in but the Widow’s Peak (is that offensive to spiders? Insects maybe? Why not a thorax peak?) is broken up and Tara gets dropped on her shoulder out of a double underhook slam.

Rosita kicks Tara into a cover by Sarita for two. Sarita really likes to dance. Must be a freaky Christmas present looking thing. Widow’s Peak is countered again into a rollup by Rosita for two. Mike keeps calling Tara Powerfully Hot. I really hope that isn’t an attempt at a new nickname. Tessmacher makes the save again and this time, the third time (racist against even numbers much?) the Widow’s Peak (complete with its own chant) ends Rosita.

Rating: D+. They were playing up the power vs. speed thing here but it didn’t work for the most part. In short (or tall. Please don’t sue me!) it’s just boring. There’s no interest in these titles and I see no real reason for this match to have happened other than to get the rematch clause out of the way. The tag titles need to die already because they never had a point to them and the depth isn’t there anymore to support it.

Pope is trying to send out a tweet to D-Von to say the match doesn’t need to happen. If he’s so close to D-Von’s family, why not just go to them and get D-Von’s number? Pope says he’s been a good influence on the family so he doesn’t get why D-Von is mad. It’s going to be intense though because of the BFG aspect of it. He’s going to do the right thing.

D-Von is a submission away from being tied for first in the Series. That’s not right. Like at all.

Bound For Glory Series: Devon vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Matt Morgan is the official analyst for the Series now. I think he has a new version of his theme music but maybe not. D-Von’s kids are in the crowd and Pope says hi to them on the way to the ring. At No Surrender the top four in points will have two singles matches and the person with the most points after those matches go to Bound For Glory. Dudes, just make a tournament. Quit making it overly complicated.

Pope says D-Von is like his big brother and he expect a lot out of him, just like the kids expect something out of him. Their relationship is more important though so Pope is going to do the right thing again here. Morgan isn’t happy because he’s injured and Pope is laying down on this opportunity. D-Von isn’t taking it though and says get up, albeit it in more colorful language.

Basic stuff to start including D-Von getting a hip toss and covering, with Pope holding him down in an attempt to get pinned. Why doesn’t he just tap out while in a wristlock ala Chavo Guerrero? More basic stuff until Pope hits a forearm to take over. There’s a lot of arm work in this so far. Why do wrestling companies keep thinking we want to watch commentators talk? I didn’t pay $40 to watch Matt Morgan talk.

D-Von takes over again and it’s back to the arm. Jumping back elbow gets two, just like a headbutt. Out to the floor and Pope misses a charging D-Von, sending him into the post. Pope gets a chain and hands it to D-Von’s kids. Morgan is getting fed up with the total lack of focus on the match and I’m starting to agree with him.

Dinero starts getting something going and hammers away on the head a bit. Top rope cross body gets two. The crowd doesn’t seem to be all that interested. When you can manage to bore the Impact Zone, you might be really freaking boring. Pope sets for the DDE but stops dead, allowing D-Von to spear him for two. Morgan sighs and is about to growl. D-Von tries a chokeslam (really?) and gets rolled up for the pin. Sloppy rollup too.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but it’s D-Von Dudley vs. Elijah Burke for nine minutes on a PPV in 2011. That sounds like something off a really bad indy show. This story has been going on for several months now and it’s more or less right where it started: Pope likes the kids, the kids like Pope, D-Von doesn’t like Pope. Are the kids going to turn on D-Von or something? Why would they do that? Why is this getting so much time? I don’t understand it.

D-Von wants to leave but his kids say shake his hand, which D-Von does.

RVD says he’ll beat Crimson when Jerry Lynn pops up. He says he’ll be in RVD’s corner and that’s that I guess.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie James which has been set up for months now but it’s not an X-Division match so it got put on hold. Angelina and Winter are working together because the zombie thing is over.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Winter’s song is pretty awesome. Mickie and Winter are both looking hot here. Mickie takes over to start and grabs a leg. Kind of an awkward start as they seem like they’re not clicking in the slightest. Out to the floor and some double teaming sends Mickie into the front row. For no apparent reason Winter is all cool with getting a countout. This is what I mean by a lack of psychology.

The only good thing so far in this is all the upskirt shots of Mickie. Winter works on various parts of Mickie, currently working on the back. At one point Angelina comes in and hits her spinning backbreaker. She tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but Mickie escapes. A very weak dueling chant begins. Mickie grabs a tornado DDT to send Winter to the floor. Angelina comes in to try it again but Mickie takes her down. She tries to come in a third time but gets caught, allowing Winter to spit mist (think Muta) into her face for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Mickie having her skirt fly up all the time can’t be a failure but at the end of the day this was freaking bad. There was no flow to the match at all and Winter looked all over the place. Also the mist and the three run ins by Angelina were way too much booking. Not very good at all as the Knockouts are really failing now and we’re not even touching on the Velvet was bullied nonsense.

Kendrick is talking about winning earlier when Aries pops up, telling him to shush. That wasn’t a triple threat but rather a handicap match. Until Kendrick beats Aries, he’s not the real champion. Aries gives Kendrick the towel he was carrying and says go take a shower because you look homeless. I haven’t been to Minneapolis in years but I don’t think the homeless there have championship belts.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Rob Van Dam

Lynn is with RVD here. The fans are behind RVD as you would expect. It’s a bit surprising I guess because we know so much about Crimson and have so many reasons to care about him right? An early Rolling Thunder attempt misses and Crimson gets a suplex for two. Van Dam starts kicking and there’s Rolling Thunder. Rob is holding his throat for some reason and Crimson adds in a neckbreaker for two.

Out to the floor and Van Dam uses some nice speed stuff to take Crimson down. Taz starts using bad lines to plug the sponsor like “he’s going to need some insurance after that. Better call Direct!” Back inside and Crimson takes over with basic strikes, namely elbows and forearms to the head. Off to a cravate which makes sense with the throat/neck stuff earlier.

That doesn’t last long and Van Dam gets the split legged moonsault but can’t get the kick off the top. Crimson gets something like a Falcon Arrow for two. Red Sky is countered by a kick to the chest. There’s the spinwheel kick from Van Dam which sets up the Five Star to NO reaction. The cover is delayed though and it only gets two. Tenay sounds like he’s ordering dinner when he calls the kickout. Crimson spears him down for two. In a weird ending, RVD misses a spin kick and Crimson hits Red Sky. He covers but Lynn comes in to break it up for the obvious DQ, costing RVD ten points.

Rating: C. Not horrible here but they tried I guess. The crowd flat out does not care about Crimson and that’s going to be a big problem moving forward. The problem is that we’ve been given zero reason to care about him through the form of promos or backstory so why are we supposed to want him to win? That hasn’t been addressed and it’s a problem.

Post match RVD yells at Lynn, saying he cost him a lot of points in the Series. Lynn apologizes so there’s No Surrender for you.

Anderson talks about Immortal being awesome. He curses a lot and makes noises that a 4 year old would make. This is so stupid I can’t comprehend it.

We recap Fourtune vs. Immortal. It’s a six man tag that is happening because they’re factions and we need a match on PPV between them.

Scott Steiner/Abyss/Gunner vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian/Daniels

And remember Daniels has been talking to AJ about something that hasn’t been established yet. Gunner vs. Kaz to start us off and they hit the mat. Kaz grabs a front facelock and Gunner taps. It doesn’t count for no apparent reason other than that isn’t what’s supposed to happen or something. Off to Steiner who shoves Banderas around a bit. Crucifix gets two for Kaz.

Off to AJ as Fourtune is all in black/gold trim here. Steiner is feeling rather colorful with his language tonight. The super best friends double team Steiner a bit and the bald dude comes in for Fourtune. Off to the Monster in a match that doesn’t sound very appealing. Daniels tries a springboard something and falls flat on his face. He does manage to get a foot to hit Abyss so it’s not a total loss.

Triple teaming puts Abyss down but Daniels charges into a spinebuster. Off to Gunner who throws on a chinlock. Steiner comes in with a suplex and it’s off to Abyss quickly. Immortal likes to tag a lot. Daniels rolls through to tag in Kaz who snaps off a rana which Abyss sells really strangely. Flux Capacitor gets two. Tornado DDT sends Abyss to the floor where Kaz hits a huge dive onto him.

Everything breaks down and they head to the floor. Steiner and Gunner set up a table to try to validate this as a hardcore show. Back to normal now with Steiner beating up Kaz. There are the push-ups. Gunner comes back in and continues to be as basic as possible while still trying to be all tough and evil. Off to Abyss as this has been domination for awhile.

Kaz manages to get a DDT to take Abyss down and there’s the hot tag to AJ. AJ fights off Immortal and hits a springboard cross body on Abyss for two. Styles Clash is countered as is Abyss’ chokeslam. Pele puts Abyss in 619 position but Gunner makes a save from a pin. Everything breaks down again and Daniels hits an STO into a Lionsault. AJ goes up but gets crotched and Gunner tries to F5 him through the table. Daniels saves and both he and Gunner go through the table. AJ hits a springboard Pele on Abyss for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but definitely the best match of the night so far. No tension or issue between AJ and Daniels at all so that was kind of odd. Still though it was a nice change of pace after being bored out of my mind for 90 minutes coming into this. Not a classic but this was fine for what it was.

Immortal yells at Abyss post match.

Ray says there’s only room for one of them in Immortal. Everyone makes mistakes. He carried D-Von around for 15 years. JB’s parents made a mistake when they had him. Even Hogan and Bischoff made a mistake when they let Anderson into Immortal. Anderson is going to get beaten out of Immortal.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray. Basically it’s about Ray volunteering Anderson to face Kurt Angle and then costing him the match. This is a contest over who can be a bigger jerk for the most part.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Ray comes out first and talks trash to Taz for some reason. He also sets for an attack on Anderson, who I guess doesn’t notice the lack of Bully Ray in the ring even though he would have come out second. Another thing I’ve always wondered: how do guys not get in fights when they’re waiting to come through the curtain? In a cool bit, Ray sneaks up on him and Anderson says into the mic “Yeah I know he’s behind me” and turns around to slug Ray.

After he beats on him for a bit he repeats his name. I’ll give him a pass for the cool bit before that. This might be a street fight but I’m not sure. They brawl around the railing and I don’t think a bell has rung yet. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Ray goes into the post/steps at the same time. Into the ring now and Ray gets a shot in to take over. Anderson takes forever to get up from a pretty normal shot.

Big chop in the corner as Ray has dominated the in ring aspect of this. I’m pretty surprised by that as he’s certainly more of a brawler than a wrestler. Side slam gets two. Ray hammers away and talks more trash which motivates Anderson. It’s about time something did. They slug it out from their knees and Bubba tries the Bubba Bomb which is countered into a DDT by Anderson to put both guys down.

It’s boo/yay time with Anderson being the popular and therefore successful one. Ray starts no selling stuff as clotheslines and shoulder blocks have no effect on him. An elbow does though as does a neckbreaker which gets two. Mic Check is blocked as is a release Rock Bottom. Another Mic Check is avoided but Anderson steals Amazing Red’s double spin kick for two.

Swanton hits for two as Ray reverses into a crucifix for two of his own. Cutter gets two for Ray. He grabs the chain but Kenderson picks him up in a fireman’s carry. Instead of the rollthrough that he usually does though he falls backwards by accident, adding yet another to the insane list of botches tonight. Ray tumbles into the ropes which gets two for some reason.

Ray tries to walk out but that doesn’t work all that well. Anderson is kind of wrestling face here by default, which of course messes up the whole dynamic of him but it’s TNA with a tweener so who cares? Anderson has the chain now which is quickly taken away. The delay allows Ray to low blow him and roll him up for the pin. Not wild on that ending.

Rating: C. The match was good but at the same time it never clicked as well as I think they were shooting for. Anderson needs the exact right kind of guy to get him to have a great match and Ray isn’t that kind of guy. Also the double heel thing didn’t work for the most part because Anderson tried to be a heel but he was cheered because he had to be by default. Not bad but not great.

Hogan and Bischoff are here. Gee how nice of them to grace us with their presence. Hogan isn’t happy and yells at Abyss, saying he isn’t a little cruiserweight out there. Bischoff yells at him too. Ray comes up and asks if they saw that and they don’t care. Immortal goes to have a meeting but Bischoff tells Abyss to stay there. If this leads to anything other than Abyssamania I’m happy.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

TNA named them that so don’t yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It’s officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.

Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.

Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it’s been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.

Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it’s time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!

Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain…again.

Rating: C. Match was again just ok but at the same time, what are they waiting for with Beer Money? They’ve already had the longest title reign in the history of the belts and they’ve beaten everyone that there is to beat. Knowing TNA they’ll just hand the titles to part of Immortal but whatever. They need to drop the titles but I have no idea who they could do that to.  The back injury was never touched on at all and Storm looked fine.

Angle says he needs to beat Sting to be considered the best ever. Angle says he won’t lose and that’s it.

Hype video for the main event which is more or less a clash of the titans. Angle allegedly has never beaten Sting which is false but he did say he’s never beaten him without help, so they’re covered. Angle insists it’s just business, which is never a safe line to say in wrestling.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

Big match intros fill in some time. Sting is in gray which is a weird look on him. Sting grabs the arm to start as this seems like it’s going to be a feeling out process to start. I think they’re going for the big epic match but that’s just not going to happen here. Angle grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere. The dueling chants are already going and Sting’s paint is like 1/3 off less than two minutes in.

Now Angle works on the arm. The gray isn’t working for Sting as it looks like he’s dusty. Sting escapes and works on the leg to set up for the Scorpion. Angle fights back and hammers away. The champ backdrops him over the top and out to the floor as things slow down a bit. Out to the floor for the usual railing stuff. Back inside and Angle grabs a Samoan Drop for two.

There’s a seated reverse chinlock as Angle works on the back a lot. Off to a slightly modified version of the same chinlock after a few quick covers. Sting pops out of the corner with a clothesline and both guys are down. DDT gets two for the champ. Angle pops off the belly to belly for the same. Sting grabs the Death Drop and you would think Tenay was ordering lunch. Actually scratch that as picking the chicken salad would be more emphatic than that.

Rolling Germans by Angle get two. Tenay sounds like he doesn’t care at all about these covers and near falls. Moonsault misses so Sting hits an Angle Slam for two. There’s the Scorpion which isn’t sat down on at all. He finally makes a rope but Sting hits the Splash but the second one misses. Angle Slam hits for two and no reaction from anyone. Kurt charges at Sting in the corner but his shoulder hits the post.

Sting throws on the ankle lock and they speed things up a bit. Angle puts on the Scorpion Deathlock because that’s how Angle matches roll. Here are some more rolling Germans and Kurt grabs the ankle lock. Sting rolls through for two. And there goes the referee due to a misses enziguri by Kurt. Well it IS a TNA main event. Heeee’re Hulk with a chair. He gets the best reaction of the night and sets to pop Sting with the chair. Angle grabs it from him and Hogan leaves. Kurt blasts Sting with the chair and the Angle Slam gives him the world title.

Rating: C+. Good match overall but the crowd did not care for the most part and neither did Tenay. Not a horrible match but they didn’t get going like I think they wanted to. The finishers were never going to finish it and we were just waiting on the ref bump for the screwy ending. Good enough match but Kurt has had better matches in his sleep.

Hogan isn’t happy but he isn’t furious either. TUNE INTO IMPACT BABY!!!

Overall Rating: D. I’m sorry but no. Some of the matches were ok I guess but nothing other than Angle vs. Sting felt like it had any build at all. This show was boring and not hardcore in the slightest. No idea why they kept that name this year because there wasn’t even a street fight or anything like that on the card. Angle as champion will probably last until BFG with a match vs. RVD or something but that’s not exactly thrilling. It feels like we saw this two years ago, and that’s not good. Bad show.

Results

Brian Kendrick b. Alex Shelley and Austin Aries – Pinned Shelley after a brainbuster from Aries

Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Rosita/Sarita – Widow’s Peak to Rosita

D’Angelo Dinero b. Devon – Rollup

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after spitting mist into James’ face

Crimson b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered

AJ Styles/Daniels/Kazarian b. Abyss/Gunner/Scott Steiner – Springboard Pele to Abyss

Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson – Rollup

Beer Money b. Mexican America – Superkick to Anarquia

Kurt Angle b. Sting – Angle Slam

eZQ%tg(13nhE

I couldn’t find a way to watch it so I’ll have to see it tomorrow.  Very sorry about the delay and I’ll be sure to have Summerslam up on time next week.