Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Place, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and we still have no midcard title matches. The show should be interesting but I’m not wild on them giving us HHH vs. Punk already. Anyway tonight we’re in Canada or Bizarro Land as WWE likes to call it. According to Del Rio on a radio show Bret will be there and there’s nothing wrong with bringing him in for a Canada show. Let’s get to it.

Alberto is in the ring to open the show and he talks about not getting respect. He lists off some accomplishments such as retiring Edge, injuring Rey and beating Punk at Summerslam. He wants respect and here’s Bret. He talks about how you get respect and how Del Rio is all flash and talk. Bret is stumbling over lines and misspeaking. He’s got his glasses on so he might be a bit drunk. Del Rio says Breth is old and looks like an illegal Canadian that cleans his house.

Del Rio threatens him with violence and here’s Cena. Cena says he sees a Hall of Famer. He talks about how Del Rio has run from Cena for weeks now and says he should drive back to Mexico. Cena gets in a good line, listing off features of the cars (Cena being a known car guy) and saying Del Rio has no idea what he’s talking about. He says let’s fight right now and Del Rio agrees. Cena is STUNNED, but Del Rio means Cena vs. Ricardo Cena says the crowd noise makes him have ideas and the crowd actually cheers him. He suggests Alberto vs. Bret for the title tonight. Bret takes off the jacket and glasses and the fans erupt.

And never mind as Johnny Ace comes out and makes a tag match instead.

Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Only Morrison gets the tail end of an entrance here. That’s a good way to save some time. Morrison and Ziggy start us off with Morrison taking over, hitting a huge Beautiful Disaster (yes I know that’s what Cody calls it but it’s the same move) and Ziggler sells it perfectly. Morrison misses a charge into the corner and his arm hits the post. Big elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

A double tag brings in Riley and Swagger with Riley hitting a worse than usual spinebuster. He clears house and hits an STO on Swagger for two. He needs to stick with the DDT and tries one on Swagger but is countered into the ankle lock. Riley rolls through it to send Swagger into Ziggler. A TKO ends Swagger at 2:50 with Ziggler not breaking up the pin despite there being no one to stop him. Ziggler yells at Vickie post match, calling Swagger a loser.

Miz and Truth take a walk with a mic and says just getting a tag match isn’t enough to calm them down. Miz does the talking and runs down the talking segment with HH and Punk later. Truth says he thinks HHH has made a good decision. Miz: “Really?” Truth: “Ninja please!” Miz: “What did you just say?” Truth: “I said Ninja WAZZAH please”. That was one of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long time.

They come into the arena minus music (nice touch of realism) and Truth says HHH is COO. If you say that twice you get Cuckoo, and that’s what HHH is. The two of them should be in the main event of every PPV and they’ll prove it right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

This is after a break. Kofi does his thing and speeds it up to start. They exchange leapfrogs and go to the floor in a heap. Bourne and Truth glare at each other as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock until he shifts to ram Kofi’s head into the mat for what looked like three but was called two. They seem off for some reason. Kofi hits a jumping double stomp and both guys are down.

This match is a mess and I can’t get into it at all. Kofi starts his comeback and misses the kick but Truth gets involved anyway. He trips Kofi a bit and Miz is able to hit the Finale (screw writing out the whole title even though it would have been shorter than this part I’m writing here) for the pin at 8:39 total.

Rating: D. I know this is probably low and I won’t defend it that much but dang man I couldn’t get into this. There was nothing here that made me want to watch the match and I was terribly bored by it. They were a step off the whole way through and it didn’t work for me. I could see some people liking it though.

Teddy tells Vickie that the tag match earlier will be a fatal fourway for the US Title Sunday and Vickie freaks. Kelly is allegedly looking at them so Vickie yells at her. Vickie says she could beat Kelly. You know the rest.

We get a clip of Lawler/Ryder beating Otunga/McGillicutty last week. Tonight it’s a rematch and Lawler has a mystery partner. They’re in the ring and run their mouths a bit about how awesome they are. Lawler says McGillicutty has nothing on his daddy and Otunga failed his charisma classes at Harvard. Here’s the partner.

Jerry Lawler/Sheamus vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Gee Lawler got over Sheamus kicking his head off in MSG a few years back. Lawler starts with Otunga but off to McMynameshouldbeJoeHennig quickly. If you can’t figure out what’s happening in this, too bad because I’m not feeling the review for it. Sheamus, Brogue Kick, Celtic Cross, McGillicutty, 2:30. The former champs were on offense about 20 seconds and I think you can fill in the blanks yourselves.

Ricardo is doing push-ups when Del Rio comes in to yell at him. He drinks….an aphrodisiac….and goes back to push-ups. Weird.

Bret Hart/John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio/Ricardo Rodriguez

Cena and Ricardo start us off and John plays matador with his shirt. I prefer Tito. The match is exactly what you would expect: Del Rio runs away while Cena destroys Ricardo. Del Rio comes in for a bit and doesn’t stay in long. Alberto finally leaves and after Cena leaves him laying, Bret hooks a Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:15. Total comedy match.

Rating: C. What were you expecting here? I won’t call this a failure because the point of this was to let the fans see their hero and see him put the Sharpshooter on someone for an easy submission. There’s not a thing wrong with that at all and that worked fine. However the lack of anything resembling a build for Cena vs. Del Rio has me not caring even more. Fine for what it was.

Video on 9/11 and Smackdown airing two days later. That was indeed cool. Cena is narrating this.

Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero

Kelly embarrasses her for a bit and then Jack comes down after Dolph. They get into an argument and Kelly rolls up a distracted Vickie at 1:20.

This show has been….what’s the right word…..REALLY BORING.

Video on HHH. He’s back in the ring on Sunday. I never would have gotten that guys.

Mark Henry says he’ll be champion Sunday and he wants to be.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody pounds Randy down into the corner and that doesn’t go all that well for him. Henry comes out so Orton grabs a chair and starts walking up the ramp, making Henry leave. Rhodes tries to jump him and that doesn’t go well at all. Orton stomps him down in the corner and beats up Rhodes a bit. Henry comes back with a chair of his own and sits down on the stage.

Orton goes up after him but is unarmed as the chair he had was dropped between the ring and stage. He goes back to Rhodes instead and walks into a Beautiful Disaster off the apron as we take a break. Back with Rhodes holding a crossface chicken wing and working on the arm. There’s a fan in the crowd with an old school IC Belt. Henry moves the chair closer to the ring. Rhodes escapes the elevated DDT but Orton escapes CrossRhodes and hits the DDT anyway. It’s RKO time and Henry gets up and onto the steps, distracting Orton enough for a mask shot. CrossRhodes ends this at 10:24. Expect a rubber match Friday.

Rating: C. Not as good as Friday but not bad. Henry distracting Orton was good as he’s getting into his head and making him lose. Rhodes getting exposure like this is a good thing and the pin not being clean means nothing for the most part, at least to me. Not much here but for the main event this was ok, especially on a throwaway show like this one.

Henry hits him with a chair post match and yells a lot.

We get a quick recap of last week with HHH and Nash imploding.

Here are HHH and Punk for the final encounter. They talk about how Punk is held down because of the bodybuilder fetish and HHH retorts with Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley and someone else that I don’t remember. Punk says the company doesn’t listen to the fans which HHH disagrees with. Punk talks about the fans cheering for him at MSG and then nothing happened.

HHH runs down Punk’s resume and says those sound like opportunities to him. He’s got a great point there. HHH references the Cena story Punk told a few weeks ago and talks about Cena being the biggest star in this business by winning the fans over. He’s absolutely right. HHH talks about how it’s all about the fans and Punk cuts him off, saying they’re cheering for me. HHH gets in the reality though: where have those fans been the last six years?

HHH goes on a huge rant about how Punk has a different philosophy and he’s wrong. He goes on a better rant about how this is personal and not business because Punk made it personal. Punk says this is about change and this isn’t Punk talking to HHH. It’s Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque. The mic cuts out on Punk but then it comes on for HHH. It goes off again for Punk and Punk freaks.

HHH doesn’t get what’s going on and gets another mic. HHH hands it to Punk and it goes upside his head. Punk leaves him laying to end the show. The intensity from HHH was great here and he leaves Punk saying something like “well yeah I haven’t drawn ever and I was given a bunch of chances and I never really got them to work except this one but I’m still the best because I say so.”

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the least interesting Raws I’ve seen in years. There were long stretches where I was barely paying attention to the show. Point blank, that NEVER happens with me. I get that Monday Night Football is back but could they have something resembling effort? I have no idea who Cody is facing, I have zero desire to see Cena vs. Del Rio and Punk vs. HHH didn’t need more of a build. Bad show this week and in a boring way.

Results
Alex Riley/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – TKO to Swagger
The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale
Sheamus/Jerry Lawler b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Celtic Cross to McGillicutty
John Cena/Bret Hart b. Ricardo Rodriguez/Alberto Del Rio – Sharpshooter to Rodriguez
Kelly Kelly b. Vickie Guerrero – Rollup
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton – CrossRhodes

No Surrender 2011
Date: September 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re at the finals of the BFG Series tonight and I think it’s some system where you win based on how many total points you have. Not that TNA ran over any possible scenarios or anything but I guess math is a bit beyond their abilities. We have Angle vs. Anderson vs. Sting for another PPV tonight because those three are the only people that have been designated as main event guys. Three matches were thrown onto the card Thursday and I think more will be added with no warning. Let’s get to it.

There’s a patriotic theme to the Impact Zone and the TNA voice says let’s take a moment to remember ten years ago. That’s fine. The roster is on the stage for this.

The opening video is all about the BFG Series and to be fair that’s what they should focus on, even though the logic of it is pretty limited.

Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

The winner is #1 contender for the X Title. These two have been feuding and split the first two matches. Jesse has his football which I wouldn’t recommend since I’d rather be watching my Cowboys than this game. He signs it for a kid which is a nice touch I guess. The ropes are the old WWF red white and blue style which is required for this show. Kash’s tattoos almost look like they’re eating him. If it gets rid of some of that gut I’m all for it.

They hit the mat quickly for some technical stuff and Jesse snaps off some armdrags. It’s a stalemate early on. Kash wants a test of strength and that goes nowhere. Kash slaps him but you don’t slap a guy from Texas. Sorensen charges but gets sent into the post on a slide to give the evildoer the advantage. Brainbuster gets two. He fires off some crossface shots to the…uh….face’s face and keeps pounding away.

Sorensen fires back with some strikes and a solid dropkick which almost every young kid has anymore. They must have grown up watching Maven “Eyebrows” Huffman and followed his great example. Cross body gets two and it’s time for more of Kash’s boring old school style stuff.

I don’t get why Kash keeps getting hired. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him but he was in WCW in the dying days, got a title in ECW, got a title in old TNA and got the Cruiserweight Title in WWE. I don’t get it at all. Kash can’t put him away so he gets frustrated and shoves the referee. A Crash Landing (release vertical suplex) sets up an attempted moonsault but Kash crashes. He still manages to get two as Sorensen is in trouble. Out of absolutely nowhere Sorensen gets behind Kash and lifts him into the air for kind of a reverse Impaler for the pin at 8:00. That was about all the offense he had in seven minutes.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible opener but the ending came out of nowhere. I don’t get why they brought Kash back in as his look isn’t any good anymore and he’s old. There’s nothing interesting about him but I guess it’s because he’s a grizzled veteran or something. Not much of a match but hopefully Sorensen can move on to someone other than Kash.

Angle isn’t happy about having the title match tonight and yells at Hogan about it. He’s officially Immortal as well. Hogan tells him to chill and says go get ready. I smell a swerve.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Storm has to win via submission to have any chance. Storm has a new shirt that says Beer Hunter with some crosshairs on it. I like it. Loud Bully Sucks chant to start and he runs away from Storm for a bit. If he was smart he’d get counted out quickly or find a way to get himself pinned. Ray keeps running and I have a feeling this is going to be a show based around trying to get points one specific way or not losing one specific way.

Ray stalls even more, channeling his inner Zbyszko. We get going now and Ray sends him into the corner but gets caught in a cross armbreaker and is in trouble. Storm isn’t very good at it though (makes sense) and Ray gets out and bails. The fans keep calling him Pussy Ray. Storm goes back to the arm and hooks an armbar, showing psychology. Ray tries to break it but gets caught in a cross armbreaker again, this time in the middle of the ring.

Bully escapes again and heads to the floor. This time Storm goes after him and hammers away a bit, still working on the arm, sending it into the steps. Ray sends him into the apron and steals some beer. No idea if he swallowed it or not. He grabs a chair and as it’s being taken to the floor Ray spits the beer in the eyes. Old school heel work still works.

HARD chop by Ray as Tazz explains the difference between types of quivers between your legs. He calls for the Bubba Bomb but gets reversed and it’s right back into the armbreaker. Ray looks like he’s in big trouble here but he gets his foot onto the rope to break it up. Storm throws on a Scorpion (he’s grabbing the foot, not the knee) and Ray is in trouble again. Blast it he made the ropes.

Storm kicks away at the arm and throws on a (Mr.) Fujiwara Armbar but Ray counters into a rollup for two. Storm goes to the floor and has some beer also complete with some yucky backwash but spits it into the referee’s eyes by mistake. As he’s blinded, Storm gets the tapout but loses by DQ at 11:50. Well that makes sense I guess. It also gives Ray 53 points, I believe clinching at worst a tie.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match and the psychology from Storm was there for the majority of the match. It wasn’t so much on Ray’s part because there was no reason for him to not just head to the floor and take a countout loss then interfere in the other match for a DQ for either guy, giving himself the tournament. Then again that wouldn’t make for much of a PPV so I guess they couldn’t do that.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie which involved past lives, blood, implied lesbianism, drinking blood and Daisy Duke shorts. You can piece the rest together yourselves.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie beat Winter a few weeks ago on Impact to get the title back. Winter is a bit freaky with some magic stuff going on. This is the rubber match. Winter’s music is kind of cool. Mickie has a Wonder Woman style outfit here including the skirt. Mickie takes over quickly and we head to the floor. Winter goes face first into the railing but she takes over back inside.

Mickie comes back with some strikes and a rana out of the corner. A dropkick puts Angelina down but it lets Winter get a shot to the head in to take over again. Suplex gets two. Winter chokes away as does Angelina. She puts on a backbreaker and bends Mickie over her knee. I can’t complain about all the upskirt shots here from Mickie. Spinout backbreaker puts Mickie down again.

A neckbreaker out of nowhere gets Mickie a breather as both chicks are down. They slug it out with Mickie getting the better of it. She fires off some clotheslines and a flapjack before nipping up. A big kick to the face gets two as Winter grabs the rope. James throws on a half crab with a leg trap but Winter gets the rope. Love slides in the belt but Hebner gets it away. A rollup gets two for Mickie.

Winter fires off some shoulders in the corner and Angelina is lurking. Mickie tries a tornado DDT but Angelina pulls Winter to the floor. Mickie is like cool and takes her down with a Thesz Press off the apron. Love runs up the apron as Winter has a chance to load up some blood. Mickie comes back in and Love distracts her. Unfortunately she doesn’t do it well enough and Love takes the blood in the eyes. Mickie goes for Winter but takes the OTHER blood in the eyes for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. The match was fun but we see one of Russo’s weaknesses here: that’s two matches in a row based on spitting something in someone’s eyes. There’s no point in doing it twice in a row as it makes it look stupider the second time. Also this was almost the same ending that they had to the PPV match last time, making it even dumber. Do ANYTHING other than the previous match’s ending. A belt shot would have worked fine here, but Russo likes spitting blood so that’s what we get. Also why did they put the belt back on Mickie at all?

Gunner says he’ll do whatever it takes to go to BFG when Ray comes in and says HE goes and Gunner does whatever it takes to get him here. To even get a tie either guy has to win by tap out. Bullying is Ray’s business and business is good.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

Anderson makes fun of Immortal and while he doesn’t like Sting he’ll do it to get rid of Angle. JB gets embarrassed by saying he sees a sunset in doors. Typical Anderson here.

We recap Joe vs. Morgan which is basically Joe injuring a bunch of people because he couldn’t get half the matches in the Series that anyone else could at the end and Morgan stood up for the honor of a Series he was in for about a month.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

The fans are for Morgan who is in almost all white. Joe fires chops at the injured chest/pec so Morgan hammers away right back. He takes over even more and hits a Taker apron legdrop. Joe gets back in the ring and hits the suicide elbow to take over. Back inside Morgan hits a top rope crossbody for two. He loads up the Carbon Footprint but Joe bails. As he’s getting back in he pulls the arm across the top rope to work on the pec and then hits a running knee to keep his advantage.

The fans chant Sloppy Joe as Tazz implies a lot of the fans at home are fat. Tenay has nothing for that. Joe pounds him into the corner and gets a loud enziguri for two. Morgan fires some punches but is taken over by some Judo throw that Tazz loves knowing the name of. Off to a Kimura for awhile but someone shows Joe a Twinkie so he lets go of it. He calls for the Muscle Buster and then doesn’t go for it, instead being taken down by a discus lariat.

Morgan hits a side slam but Joe takes over again. The selling/momentum is kind of missing in this match. In a weird looking move, Joe gets a running start at Morgan and then grabs him into a belly to belly. He tries the Clutch but it’s more like a sleeper. Morgan manages to break it but Joe never had it on full. He tries it again and gets it on mostly full including the leg lace. Now it’s the full Clutch but Matt gets his leg on the rope. Joe gets in Hebner’s face but misses a charge, letting Morgan take his head off with the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the main thing here is that this is a great example of what’s wrong with TNA. Back in 2008 Joe was awesome and motivated and dominating people while looking awesome. Then they decided he wasn’t going to get pushed anymore and he’s been floundering ever since. Morgan is a guy they’ve decided they aren’t going to push so he’s floundered as well. The problem in short is the management has decided that they’re in the group not worth pushing so they’re not going to and the guys get discouraged and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy.

Roode says it’s his time and he’s coming for Gunner and Ray. Storm is with him and doesn’t look pleased. Storm stops him and says it’s cool and sounds sincere.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Eric comes out and says since the score is tied it’s Ray vs. Roode for the title. Why they didn’t just do a regular tournament is beyond common sense but so is most of TNA. Also the fact that we have three matches left and 80 minutes to go isn’t saying much either.

Aries says Kendrick’s time is over and it’s time for action. Kendrick is bringing his A game but Aries is bringing his A Double game.

We recap Kendrick vs. Aries. Kendrick speaks a lot of philosophical nonsense and Aries says he’s better than Kendrick.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

Kendrick is wearing a Genghis Khan head dress. I haven’t been incredibly impressed by Aries but I keep being told he’s the best in the world for some reason. They go to the mat quickly and that gets no one anything. They trade counters and Kendrick hooks a Fujiwara Armbar, making it the third match tonight where we’ve seen that submission. They speed it up a bit and Kendrick gets a headscissors to get a small advantage.

Aries is sent to the apron so he can chill a bit. Kendrick gets bored I guess and goes after him and back inside we go. Kendrick gets a kick to the head in and tries Sliced Bread but Aries heads for the outside. Brian rams him into the railing a few times and tries Sliced Bread out there which doesn’t work either. Aries gets a Russian Leg Sweep into the post to take over, getting two in the ring.

Back inside a pair of elbows gets two for Aries. There’s stump puller to really mix things up. A release STO sets up the classically stupid pendulum elbow which misses. Kendrick is sent into the corner face first but he manages to break up a running dropkick. Brian hits a bunch of dropkicks of his own to send Aries outside and we go back in again. There’s a missile dropkick for two.

Tornado DDT gets two. He tries Sliced Bread again but gets tossed over the top and out to the floor in a very nasty crash. Aries tries a suicide dive but Kendrick moves, sending Aries crashing into the barricade. They both barely beat the count back in and slug it out. Aries avoids a charge and Kendrick hits the floor AGAIN. What is that, 6 times already? Back in a running dropkick in the corner gets two.

Aries sets for the brainbuster but gets rolled up for two. Backslide gets two. Aries fires off a tornado forearm for two and an elevated DDT ala Orton for two. 450 misses but Aries rolls through. Kendrick grabs a tiger suplex for two. He tries sliced bread but the referee is in the corner. Aries kicks him in a place that isn’t nice to kick another man and the brainbuster ends this at 14:20 with a new champion.

Rating: B-. This was probably the best match of the night so far but it still was nothing to write home about, let alone half a page. They went outside so many times I lost count and the whole thing felt kind of boring. It wasn’t a bad match and was pretty good at times, but when you can bore a TNA crowd, you’re doing something special. To be fair this has been an incredibly unimpressive show so it’s not this match’s fault.

Ray says this is about one more match that he has to win to go to BFG. He’s going after Roode’s bad neck.

Bound For Glory Series Final: Robert Roode vs. Bully Ray

Well at least we’re not getting a three way. They get in an a face to face argument in the aisle with Ray trying to intimidate him. The fans are totally behind Roode and they stare it down. They talk a lot of trash and I think this is supposed to be epic and it just isn’t. Ray hides again to stall. And then does it again. Ray steals the hat of someone at ringside and that is a large man.

There has been no contact in about five minutes so far. They lock up and Roode gets an armdrag to send Ray to the floor again. I know they have a ton of time to fill but would some punches kill them? They lock up again and Ray is frustrated. He manages a hard chop but Roode no sells it and flips him off. Then he does it again minus the flipping. Instead he slaps Ray and finally we get going.

Scratch that as Ray is on the floor AGAIN. Ray grabs a headlock but Roode counters down into the crossface from earlier. Ray tries to grab the referee to no avail but gets out of the hold. A neckbreaker puts Roode down and a splash gets two. He slaps and chops away while talking trash but Roode no sells the chops again. Ever the lunkhead, Ray keeps chopping and they keep failing.

A big right hand works a bit better and they slug it out. Roode comes back with a forearm and clothesline to take over. The Blockbuster gets two. Rock Bottom gets two for Ray. Bubba Bomb gets two and Ray is mad. The middle rope backsplash misses and the spinebuster gets the pin out of nowhere at 12:34.

Rating: C. The match got better in the middle but the first seven or eight minutes were so boring it was ridiculous. I get that it was supposed to be epic, but you can only get so epic with Bubba Ray Dudley. I’ve been told how great Roode is for years now and while I don’t think he sucks, I don’t see this star in him that everyone says is there. I like Storm better but we’ll see what he can do with this chance now.

Rosita talks about her dad dying on 9/11.

We recap Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson. Angle joined Immortal to get rid of Dixie’s young talent and got brought into this feud because of it. Anderson is back and the Network made this main event for some reason.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is in the blue one again tonight. After some big match intros we’ve got about 20 minutes for this assuming the show is going off at about 10:53. The fans seem to be behind Anderson at first. Angle immediately goes to the floor to continue the stalling theme of the night. Back in and both guys hammer him down and send him to the floor to get a one on one going.

We’re firmly into the triple threat formula as they go at it for a minute or so until Kurt comes back in and Anderson goes to the floor. In perfect timing, Angle sends Sting to the floor and turns around to have Anderson waiting on him. What are the odds of that? Everyone is in now and Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two as Sting makes the save. It’s a triple suplex as Angle suplexes Sting who suplexes Anderson. I think I’ve seen that before.

Angle is the only person standing at the moment. Belly to belly gets two on Sting. Off to a rear naked choke which doesn’t last long since Angle isn’t Samoan. Stinger Splash hits Angle and a regular DDT gets two. Anderson is back in now and he hits a kick of some sort for two. Mic Check to Angle doesn’t work so here are some rolling Germans. Now Sting takes some rolling Germans for a two count. I bet he could have had three if they were Rolling Rocks instead.

Angle tries a superplex but has to settle for the running up the corner belly to belly for two instead. Sting counters the Angle Slam and throws Kurt over the top. Scorpion on Anderson and Anderson squeals like a piggy. He can’t quite get the rope but Kurt comes in for an Angle Slam to Sting for two. Why is Kurt surprised that move didn’t get a pin? One to Anderson gets the same result.

There’s the ankle lock on Sting but it’s eventually rolled through, sending Kurt into the Mic Check for two. Sting fights out of the fireman’s carry into a Death Drop for two as Angle pulls him out to the floor. Hogan pops up and sprays something in Sting’s eyes (third match with someone being blinded tonight) and the Angle Slam keeps the title on Kurt at 15:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it’s triple threat 101 here all the way. I’m so sick of seeing these three having these matches time after time and I can’t stand it anymore. The match was ok but for the love of goat’s milk, why do we need three blindings in the same show? I mean come on and give us ANYTHING else. You can’t throw in a chair shot or something? Either way, it keeps the title on the drunk which is the point….somehow.

Overall Rating: D+. It picked up a little in the last hour or so but until about 9:45 this was really boring. I still don’t get the idea in booking the tie instead of a straight semi-final and then final but it’s TNA so who knows what they’re thinking. The problem here for the most part was that it was just boring. A lot of the matches seemed thrown together and the important matches, namely the BFG matches, were ok at their very best. This wasn’t a good show but I guess they have some time to set up BFG which has most of the matches set already. It has to be better than this which was just boring.

Results

Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash – Reverse Inverted DDT

Bully Ray b. James Storm via DQ when Storm spit beer in Ray’s face

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after Winter spit blood in Mickie’s face

Mexican America b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Anarquia pinned D-Von after reversing a suplex

Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Crossface

Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster

Robert Roode b. Bully Ray – Spinebuster

Kurt Angle b. Sting and Mr. Anderson – Angle Slam to Sting

No Surrender 2010
Date: September 5, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The main thing tonight is the semi-final matches in the world title tournament. They should be good but the rest of the card seems a bit lackluster. It’s not bad but I just don’t really care about what I’m seeing here. Dreamer vs. AJ on PPV? Really? This should be ok though as TNA PPVs can often surprise you. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of the four guys in the semi-finals getting here earlier in the day. The video is your standard let’s hear from all four guys and get their opinions on the tournament. Nothing special at all but the idea works.

Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so apparently London Brawling isn’t here so this is your replacement. Shelley and Jeremy start us off with some very nifty mat work. Shelley is in shorts here which is a weird look on him. Taz implies the challengers have an attitude now, which probably means a heel turn. Apparently Generation Me are Christian athletes. Nothing wrong with that, but interesting that this comes up just around the time they turn heel.

The fans call them the Bucks of course because they have to be smart right? Oh wait that’s the last name of Gen Me here right? It is as we prove again how stupid the name Generation Me is. Young Bucks is hardly a bad name. Shelley with a reverse Boston Crab into a surfboard. They’ve both been in there the whole time and just as I say that Sabin comes in.

We crank it up as Max hits an INSANE backflip into a Diamond Cutter. Neckbreaker on Shelly on the apron and Shelly may have a bad neck now. It turns into a gymnastics routine, which is always fun if nothing else. These are perfect choices for openers as they’re very exciting and gets the crowd going. I’d prefer them in the middle of the show though as they can breathe life into the show later if things start to drag.

The ring looks a bit smaller than usual here for some reason. Sabin gets the hot tag and it’s on again. Springboard Tornado DDT gets two. Cue R-Truth’s opening line as this is the part where we crank it up. Sabin and Max slug it out in the ring and another tornado DDT is blocked. Gen Me kick the heck out of Shelley and set up for More Bang For Your Buck. In a very innovative counter, Jeremy goes for a superkick but Shelley grabs it and throws the foot into Max’s head. Skull and Bones end it clean.

Rating: B. Solid opener as always between these two. They know how to just make things exciting and fire up the crowd, which is always a great thing to see in the opener. The Guns are without a doubt the best team in the world today and highlight the division about as well as anyone can. Very fast paced match that has me wanting to see the rest of the show.

Post match Gen Me jumps the Guns and beat up Shelley and continue the focus on his neck, including an elevated DDT to the floor. We get an X thrown up from the referee for dramatic effect. Nice to see them as heels for once. Shelley walks off with some help.

Taz and Mike welcome us to the show, 25 minutes in. They run down the main points of the card, which we’ve already bought.

X Division Title: Sabu vs. Douglas Williams

They say that this is the only singles title match tonight, which means the TV Title still isn’t on the line, which is a good thing. These X Factor things are again annoying. We get all these things already but we need a Powerpoint presentation to tell us them again? The Bombay, Michigan thing always makes me chuckle. Williams out moves Sabu to start as Sabu isn’t sure what to do here.

He’s one of those guys that can be decent in the ring but when he gets bad he gets really bad. It depends on how insane he goes I guess. We start on the mat a lot which is a nice change of pace. Slingshot legdrop is kind of a slingshot double boot as it sets up the one arm camel clutch. That name always makes me chuckle.

A table is set up at ringside but we get into the ring before it can be used. The fans of course aren’t happy about us sticking to actual wrestling. Taz talks about his rivalry with Sabu, which is a good thing. I’ve long since thought Lawler needs to remind fans that he used to be a wrestler and even a world champion. Most young fans probably don’t know that and it probably would give him credibility.

Sabu brings in a chair but does nothing with it again. Triple jump moonsault is just barely ok as it gets two. Loud Sabu chant which will be validation to keep him around according to Dixie. We hit the mat again and Williams uses some insane spinning chinlock. This hasn’t been great but it’s no trainwreck at all. Sabu goes No Mercy with a springboard back elbow. Williams kicks the chair into Sabu’s balls and gets a gutwrench suplex for two.

Sabu goes for a big assisted dive but can’t quite get it so he just jumps, and I use that word loosely, over the top. Williams is put on the table but Sabu goes through it instead. Was there a point to that being in the match at all? I mean what did that add at all? Hebner tries to get rid of the chair, allowing a belt shot to the head of Sabu to make Williams retain. Well at least he kept the belt.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad really. It’s no classic or anything, but this was much better than I was expecting. Sabu didn’t go completely insane and as usual, it was far better that way. Williams definitely should have won and thankfully he did. This was definitely a passable match and a nice surprise in a way.

Anderson says he’s going to preach tonight and gets the crowd to say they’re jerks. I hate that gimmick.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye

Madison in leather is something I could get used to. Tara interferes almost immediately as we get an early sex based chant. Dang I hate this crowd at times. Rayne goes for the head of Skye to start as this isn’t as good as expected. Knees to the crotch of Madison makes Taz wonder if that would hurt.

Are there any Knockouts other than the BP and Tara? If there are they never appear on TV. Tara goes for the helmet but Love makes the save. And then Velvet just gets a DDT to get the win. It was as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It was on the exact level as a Divas match with very little wrestling but then again who cares about that when you have the looks? That was only half sarcasm mind you. The division has more or less died over this year and it didn’t get any better here. Pretty bad match.

Hardy, who looks a little blue, says tonight is for RVD. Well of course it is.

Abyss vs. Rhyno

This is falls count anywhere. Rhyno hits a nice dive to take out Abyss and we head to the back. They fight out near the amusement park as Taz is talking about a corndog. I haven’t had one of those in forever. Back into the Impact Zone as it’s your standard one punch knocks you three feet match here. The man beats goes into a trash can to give Abyss control.

The fans want Janice, once again proving how annoying they can be as they cheer the heel. Back on the floor again as Rhyno throws Abyss through part of the stage, where he is followed by Rhyno. The fans chant WE CAN’T SEE, which is true actually. We cut to Tenay and Taz, as I’m guessing Abyss needed a Twinkie break or something. And here comes Rhyno through the other side of the stage.

That gets two for Abyss so he rips apart the guard rail. Rhyno avoids it and hits a running clothesline because the Gore wasn’t appropriate there I guess? The fans chant for Rhyno, showing how fickle they are. Gore misses and a chokeslam onto a trash can gets two. He gets Janice but a Gore puts him down. Naturally it gets two, proving that the Stevie Kick is more powerful than the Gore. Black Hole Slam only gets two which is a surprise. Rhyno gores the guard rail and a Black Hole Slam ends it.

Rating: D+. Just a run of the mill weapons based match. Rhyno kicking out of the first Slam and Abyss doing the same with the Gore were nice surprises but they got no talking or reaction at all. This wasn’t horrible, but at the same time this just didn’t do much for me. Decent little weapons match, but the falls count anywhere portion was pretty pointless at the end of the day.

We recap Jarrett/Joe vs. Nash/Sting. I still don’t get the point of Joe being in this but whatever. This is one of the aspects of the THEY storyline, which isn’t a good thing as it needs to be toned down, but whatever. That and political storylines rarely work in wrestling, so let’s keep doing them right? This video is like 4 minutes long for no apparent reason.

Samoa Joe/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kevin Nash

Hogan isn’t here again, once again proving his worth to the company. Nash and Sting have the Wolfpack music going here. Sting and Joe start as we talk more about the vague references to things. Taz talks about the politics, which are RIVETING, yes RIVETING I say, to the casual fan that doesn’t get that meaning. Sting in a TNA shirt just looks weird. Joes takes down Nash with a big running jumping kick.

Nash comes in as we talk about how there is no Impact this week. Great to know that on a PPV rather than the TV show but whatever. Nash hits the side slam which is one of my favorite moves. And now we talk about politics and behind the scenes stuff, which makes my head hurt. I watch wrestling for wrestling, not a political drama. Stinger Splash and Jarrett is in trouble.

The crowd cheers for Sting, yet again not getting the point of being fans. Double clothesline and Sting and Jarrett both go down. Hot tag to Joe and the cleaning of house begins. Jarrett gets the bat and pops Sting a few times to a semi-heel (as heel as you can get in TNA that is) and the Clutch from Joe ends it as Sting is out.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but too short to mean much. The idea is that Jarrett shouldn’t have used the bat but did anyway due to insanity or something like that. It’s more overdoing an angle which is the last three months in a nutshell. Yet again a lack of answers which will lead to them just saying the same things over and over again.

We talk about AJ vs. Dreamer, which is the idea of EV 2.0 vs. Fourtune. The video really shows how messed up this feud is as most fans are likely to agree with Fourtune rather than the ECW guys. At least I do.

AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

I Quit rules. AJ hides behind the ramp to jump Dreamer as he comes through the curtain. Not a bad idea I guess. Shame that it doesn’t work though and we’re off and running. Styles shouts that Dreamer sucks while Dreamer chokes him. Dreamer gets a seated full nelson as he goes No Mercy as well. This has been more or less all Tommy so far, which gives me hope for AJ.

Styles takes over and goes for a figure four on the ramp, but Dreamer pops him with one of the lights that he rips off the ramp. Well that’s different. Crossface with….something across AJ’s mouth doesn’t quite work. Running clothesline while Dreamer is up against the ring. I don’t get how this is worthy of being an I Quit match already but whatever. There goes the padding on the floor which is old school heel stuff here.

Styles Clash on the concrete is blocked and AJ is in trouble after a shoulderbreaker. The fans cheer both guys. Can we get them a lesson in fandom? Semi-Pillmanizer to AJ’s arm and then Dreamer wraps the arm around the chair. AJ pulls a fork out of nowhere and goes for Dreamer’s face, resulting in another crossface. We head to the floor for a bit as Dreamer wraps AJ’s arm around the railing. AJ wraps Dreamer’s ankle around the railing because he’s a copycat. This of course doesn’t work either as we head back into the ring.

Figure four goes on but Dreamer rolls over. Figure Four on the post as I wonder what the post actually adds to it. AJ is kind of obsessed with that hold as he uses it for the third time in like 2 minutes. Dreamer finds the fork AJ had earlier but a Pele sends him to the floor. Suicide dive but AJ jumps into a kendo stick shot. Dreamer gets a crossface with the kendo stick around AJ”s eyes, but it breaks before he quits.

AJ gets another fork (has he been chilling with Abdullah lately?) and apparently stabs Dreamer in the eye with it. A thumb in the eye and a fish hook hold on the mouth makes Dreamer quit. The ending looked great as they continue to try to make AJ a heel no matter what they do. Shame he still gets cheered because HE WRESTLES LIKE A FACE.

Rating: C+. Very brutal and violent match, but again was there a point to having the stipulation there other than to have violence? I know they want it to be like ECW but do they want it to be that aspect of it? I wouldn’t think so, but then again I’m not TNA thank goodness. This was ok, but it just got a bit out there near the end.

Angle says he’ll win.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Pope vs. Anderson goes on last? Really? Ah wait make sure we get Dixie a quick cameo. The fans are split here, which makes sense in this match at least. Long feeling out process to start which implies a long match. SICK powerbomb from Angle off a reversal but no cover. The fans think this is awesome three minutes in after one big move. They’re improving I suppose.

Angle is dominating for the most part here but Hardy keeps getting out. It’s rare to see a mostly face vs. face match but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Angle with a reverse bearhug, which more or less equals sitting on the mat with a waistlock on Hardy. Slingshot dropkick misses first but not the second time. The fans of course tell Hardy that he screwed up because Heaven forbid he makes ONE mistake.

Belly to belly from Kurt as he still can throw one of those. Hardy gets a Stunner and Diamond Cutter which is of course called a Twist of Fate. How awesome is that running suplex that Angle does once in awhile? Angle slam sets up the ankle lock but Hardy gets out. Here are the Rolling Germans.

Moonsault and Whisper in the Wind both miss (as in there was no contact on the latter but Angle sold it anyway for two) so we head to the floor. Very solid match so far as they’re doing a slow build pace which is usually a good thing I think. Swanton hits Angle while he is on the floor so everyone is dead. Nice spot, drawing a Jesus Christmas line from Taz. Dixie is concerned and she looks like Morticia Adams.

Back in the ring and they slug it out. Kurt wins, getting a German before an awkward looking Frog Splash for two. The fans think this is awesome and for once they might have a point. It’s pretty good at least. After even more back and forth stuff, Angle takes two Swantons and manages to kick out.

A third gets knees and there’s the Angle Slam for two. We head to the floor again which lasts for about 4 seconds. Sorry for all the play by play but this is a very good match so it’s hard to make jokes. Ankle lock goes on forever (as in like a minute and a half), but Jeff doesn’t tap. There’s the bell, and it’s a time limit draw. There was no countdown or a time limit announced at the start of the match or anything, but what difference should that make?

Crowd COMPLETELY turns on this and boos the heck out of it. Cue Bischoff to add five more minutes. His ankle is dead though so there you go. Ankle lock goes on again but Jeff shakes it off. Naturally he’s mostly fine now and starts the comeback. Solid stuff again here as Jeff takes over.

So much for that as Kurt hits an Angle Slam off the top for two. I would have bet on that as being the ending. Hardy somehow sends him to the floor and Angle BARELY gets back in to avoid a count out. O’Connor Roll gets two and there’s a double clothesline. No pin though after Angle gets two at the very end so FIVE MORE MINUTES!

Ok is there a reason they just didn’t have one big long match? Jeff’s ankle is more or less done but Angle rams into the post. Angle is busted open after hitting the steps on the floor (allegedly). You know because there aren’t any steps in the ring so they had to be on the floor. Wow that was a stretch for a joke.

Hardy more or less puts on a Walls of Jericho and the blood is pouring out of Kurt’s head. Kurt reverses into the ankle lock but Jeff is in the ropes. Apparently being in the ropes for about 5 seconds doesn’t count anymore as Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring and puts the ankle lock on for about 30 seconds but no tap.

Bischoff wants someone to look at Kurt’s head. This is pretty clearly filler as we need to spend time. Eric declares the match a no contest due to the cut. You have got to be kidding me. Also, do they really think Anderson vs. Pope is going to be able to follow this?

Rating: A-. Match was GREAT, booking is idiotic. This is a way to set up a triple threat or something (because they’re an alternative to WWE right?) like that. This was a great in ring performance though and one of Jeff’s best matches ever. This would be an A+ if not for the constant stoppages and the flat out stupid booking, but that’s TNA for you I guess: you have something great so you overbook it as much as they can.

Pope does a pretty stupid interview about enemas.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi Finals: Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Shouldn’t this be for the title? They start on the mat as I wonder why this is on last. I guess so they didn’t have that idiotic ending end the show? Pope works on Anderson’s shoulder which plays into their feud, so there’s some continuity. I have a little trouble taking a match seriously when the fans all chant Anderson’s catchphrase. Anderson can’t really use the arm at the moment which is some nice selling.

Anderson works on Pope’s shoulder as this is a very slow paced match. Pope blocks a top rope suplex and Anderson goes to the floor. This has been pretty good but the slow pace is hurting it a bit. We hit the near falls aspect of the match and it’s still entertaining. Mic Check is blocked so Anderson hits it 2 seconds later for two. Crowd is pretty much dead mind you. DDE misses and Pope jumps into the Mic Check to end it. Anderson advances to the finals to fight….uh someone. Big F Bomb by Anderson after the match.

Rating: B. Pretty good match here with nothing notably bad and a totally clean ending which is nice. The crowd was just DEAD after the previous match though which is a bad thing and it hurt the match a bit. This was good though and much better than I expected from these two.

Overall Rating: B. Pretty solid show I thought. Nothing is really horrible other than the booking in the Angle/Hardy match. The matches all worked and have been built up to an extent on Impact. The PPVs are usually far better than Impact and this was no exception. With a great match in the first semi-final and some good stuff for the rest of the show, how can you really complain here? Solid show and I liked it FAR more than I expected to.

The show is tomorrow and I forgot to put this up until now.

There are only two things that matter so here are my picks for them:Given how they’ve changed the finals of the tournament from a fourway at the beginning to a tournament (I might have imagined that one since it makes the most sense) to whoever has the most points, I have no idea who is winning it.  I mean it’s not like TNA did anything on Impact to make us care about the matches or tell us who needs to do what to win for people that were being sold on the PPV at the last show, but that would have made sense and is why TNA never grows its audience.  I’ll take Roode for lack of anyone better.

As for the main event I’ll take Angle I guess but I’m not caring about the match or the show much at all.

Your picks?  You can predict any of the matches of course.

Smackdown
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have two more shows before Night of Champions and to the best of my knowledge we have one match on Smackdown set. There’s no IC Title match and the tag title match is on Raw. Wait…are there any other title matches from this show? If there are I can’t think of any. This isn’t exactly a stacked card from the Blue team and Cody is hardly ever on TV anymore because he actually got some momentum and we can’t have that no can we? Let’s get to it.

A video about Mark Henry starts us off. He’s big and mean and strong. Also he’s injured a lot of people because that’s what big mean strong people do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is being in a dentist chair for two hours next week.

Here’s Henry who almost has to win the title to keep from wasting the last three months of our time. He talks about being in WWE 15 years and needing to validate his time here. Last week he destroyed Orton worse than Orton has ever been destroyed and now he’s more dangerous than he’s ever been.

He gets cut off by Zack Ryder who is still assistant to the GM here. Ryder comes bearing news: tonight there’s a no contact rule for Henry and Orton. They both have matches tonight though. Ryder tries to leave but Henry says come back here. He thanks Ryder for the head’s up and Ryder tries to leave again. Henry says he has a question and Ryder is terrified.

Henry wants Ryder’s prediction for the PPV. He picks Beth over Kelly Kelly. As for Henry’s match though, if he picks Orton then Henry will “snort me up one nostril and out the other.” Ryder tries to leave again and Henry says he’s going to hurt someone tonight. Ryder tries to fight him and that gets him a World’s Strongest Slam. Cole: “I think that puts Henry out of the running for Broksi of the Week.” Booker: “You know it.”

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants a test of strength and Jackson is all cool with that. Jackson goes down and starts the traditional face comeback in a test of strength but Henry backdrops him out of it. There’s a top wristlock in another strength contest. Jackson fires off some punches and tries the Rack but since he lifted the bigger Khali a few weeks ago he can’t lift Henry here. Don’t you just love physics in wrestling? Henry gets him down with a clothesline and hits two splashes before the Slam ends this at 2:58. Just a squash.

Orton’s match tonight is with Rhodes. I’m stunned too: Rhodes still exists.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana in more leather. She wants to be guest ring announcer again and Teddy says that would take the special out of special guest ring announcer. She says she can do something else with her mouth: sing. Teddy leaves to go check on Zack Ryder.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

The topic of conversation of course is Cara’s heelish…..er I mean rudo actions last week. Cara sends Kidd to the floor and hits a huge dive to take out Tyson. Cole starts making fun of Josh so Booker gets us back to sanity. Josh says he would interview Sin Cara but he doesn’t speak Spanish. Cole gives him a Spanish lesson as the match is totally ignored. Cara and Kidd have their usual fast paced back and forth match. A spinning springboard cross body gets two for Kidd who rolls through Cara’s cover. Cara hits a cross between a Samoan Drop and an Angle Slam to set up the Swanton/Lionsault combo for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C+. The usual good match from these two with some nice dives and counters, but as he always does anymore, Cole took the focus completely off the match and made it all about himself. We have some high flying stuff going on out there but hey, let’s have Cole teach us (incorrectly) how to fake a conversation in Spanish and make fun of Booker’s way of commentating. I used to think he was no big deal and that people were overreacting to him but dude, shut up for five minutes already.

As per Cole’s more or less demandments, Josh goes to interview Cara. Cole cracks up as Josh talks really slowly. Cara speaks English and says….well now he’s in Spanish again. Oh ok he’s doing the wrestling thing of saying something in Spanish and then repeating it in English. He says he’s going to continue this style because it’s the real Sin Cara.

Cue Daniel Bryan who isn’t happy. He’s surprised Cara can speak English and was also surprised that Cara kicked him in the head last week. The kick spoke in a universal language: he doesn’t respect Bryan. Bryan wants a rematch next week and Cara drills him, putting him in the LeBell Lock and Bryan taps.

Video on Cody. He’s disfigured don’t you know.

Orton says Cody’s changes haven’t been for the better. He’s unstable and that can be dangerous. As for Mark Henry, what he did last week was smart and calculated, which aren’t usually associated with Henry. Orton says an RKO can stop Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

Why doesn’t Natalya get a title shot on PPV? Beth is coming up on her second. Beth is with Nattie and Kelly is alone. Kelly hammers away to start and we’re told about some article on WWE.com which set everyone off. That would make a difference if the article had come out before the heel turn started but whatever. Natalya beats her down on the floor and is in total control.

We go old school with an abdominal stretch. Cole of course won’t shut up about everything not related to the match. Kelly fights back with a slap and a sunset flip which is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt but Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:58. Another short match but Kelly escaping with the win is getting a bit old. Hopefully Beth takes it Sunday or Eve finally turns on her.

Here’s Christian for a match but he says his match has been postponed. The rest of the matches have been postponed too. Due to Teddy Long making him be in the main event last week, he wasn’t ready for his cage match. Christian wants, say it with me, one more match for the title.

Sheamus comes out and says this is getting embarrassing. Christian reminds Sheamus as a litter of puppies. All but the runt grew up to be big and strong but the runt developed mange. Every time he barked, hot air came out of him. Christian yells at him and says shut up. The pale one says he wants to get to his match and Christian isn’t going to get another chance because he’s out of excuses and out of chances. Right now though, he’s going to get out of this ring. Christian actually leaves. And I’m sure he won’t come back at all right?

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

The crowd is behind Sheamus so at least they’re well behaved. It’s a power match to start with Sheamus controlling but not by much. Barrett gets a kick in to block a backdrop and then runs to the floor. Back in Barrett beats him down a bit and Sheamus is like BY THE POWER OF IRELAND and pounds him down in the corner. Sheamus gets reversed into the corner though and Barrett takes over for the first extended period of the match so far.

Barrett puts on a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Wade getting two off something we didn’t see. Out to the floor again and Barrett gets a big boot in and rams Sheamus’ back into the apron a few times, getting two in the ring. Barrett gets a single right hand to put Sheamus on the floor. Back in Sheamus fires off and it’s a slugfest won by the pale one. There are those tied in the rope forearm smashes, now getting counted along with by the crowd. A top rope shoulder block hits but here’s Christian for the DQ at 6:53 shown of 10:23.

Rating: C+. These two are good for a power brawl and that’s what they had here. I’m not sure what else they were supposed to try to do so they didn’t try anything complicated. There’s always something fun about two big and strong guys out there hitting each other until one can’t get up and that’s what they were getting close to by the end. Fun little match. Also Sheamus vs. Christian could be a pretty entertaining feud.

Sheamus starts beating Christian back but gets double teamed by the Canadian and the Brit. That’s not a problem either as he gets Christian to run and takes Barrett out with a double sledge and the Brogue Kick. Christian comes back in and almost gets caught in the Celtic (formerly High) Cross but he gets out and runs.

Air Boom vs. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal

Kofi’s pyro works tonight as opposed to Monday. Bourne vs. Mahal gets us going with Mahal getting a clothesline for two. Off to tall dude who has to lean down to hit Bourne in the back. Khali smothers Bourne’s face against the top rope and it’s back to Mahal. This referee is really loud.

Bourne escapes a suplex by kneeing Mahal in the head which was impressive. Hot tag to Kofi and he cleans house. Boom Drop hits and he loads up the Trouble in Paradise. Instead he hits a spinning cross body off the top and Khali saves. Mahal yells at Khali and slaps him, making Khali shove him into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match and I’m kind of disappointed that they’ve split up the Indian dudes this quickly. They could have been something interesting especially with an actual backstory to them. Mahal was a hot guy when he came in and has come crashing down since then and I don’t get why. I guess this sets up Khali vs. Mahal and I’m not sure why that’s happening.

We run down the card for NOC.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here of course. We get a clip of Ted getting beaten down by Cody after his loss. Cody talks about how everyone is jealous of his abilities and his success. He’s tried to inspire people but Ted DiBiase was happy being Ted DiBiase so he dropped him. Rhodes points out that Orton has no room to talk about being unstable.

Feeling out process to start and neither guy has a real advantage. Orton gets two on a dropkick. Here are the stomps which Cole calls psychological. Almost all Orton so far but they have a lot of time. Thesz Press keeps Rhodes down. Cody gets in a shot with the mask and Randy goes down. Cole goes into a big rant about Josh being a follower or some jazz like that as Orton makes a comeback.

Orton headbutts the mask and takes over with an adrenaline rush off the pain. Booker: “Cole has anyone ever told you that you’re just annoying?” Orton injures his knee a bit and Cody hones in like a wrestler that sees an opponent with an injured knee. Rhodes puts him on the apron and hits his kick as we take a break. Back with Cody still in control in the corner.

Cody works over the arm because he’s a bit strange at times. You know, I mean it’s not like ORTON HURT HIS KNEE EARLIER. Time for Cole to work his annoyances again as Booker mentions he has wrestling students. Cody works on the arm even more which I guess is the focal point now. Orton has had bad arms/shoulders so it works I guess. Rhodes throws on an armbar and the fans chant for Randy.

Alabama Slam cuts the comeback short but it only gets two. Orton gets a shot in and both guys are down. Booker gets WAY too excited when Randy starts his comeback. There are the clotheslines and the powerslam but Rhodes gets a release gordbuster to break up the momentum again. Orton fires back with a kneedrop as this is starting to get good. Elevated DDT and Orton goes into seizure mode. Rhodes shows some intelligence and RUNS while Orton is all fired up. Cross Rhodes are avoided and the RKO ends this clean at 6:57 shown of 10:27.

Rating: B-. This could be really good in an instance where Cody has a chance, but here he was just cannon fodder for Orton. The problem here is that Cody has lost a bunch of steam in the past few weeks since he won the title because just like everyone else who gets some momentum he’s immediately stopped cold so that a guy the writers haven’t picked doesn’t become something huge. This is probably the biggest problem in WWE at the moment: no one is allowed to get significant momentum and it cripples so many pushes.

Here’s Henry post match and Orton is a bit scared. Orton gets in some shots but Henry takes him down with ease. He hits the Slam and puts an unfolded chair over Orton’s throat and says he could break him, ending the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week as we move closer to Night of Champions. Orton vs. Henry gets a bit more build but it’s kind of the same stuff we’ve seen so far. I guess the no touching policy was either forgotten or was only in effect until after their matches were over. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but Christian vs. Sheamus should be good….when we actually get there. Good show overall but a bit boring.

Results

Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Lionsault

Kelly Kelly b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Christian interfered

Air Boom b. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal – Trouble in Paradise to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s week two in Alabama and it’s also the go home show for No Surrender. That being said, we only have most of the card so far and the world title match has only been announced on Facebook instead of, you know, on the TV show which the majority of the audience actually sees. The big thing tonight is the return of Jeff Hardy on the day that he was sentenced to ten days in jail on drug charges. The return speech could be very interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Jeff Hardy and the mess that was Victory Road. He’s back tonight you know.

We also get a clip of last week where Hogan beat Sting up with a chair and cost him the world title. Anderson gets his rematch tonight.

Here’s Anderson to open the show. He talks about how he hasn’t had much to say the last few weeks because he’s been a man of action recently. He signed a deal with the devil though, and that was his own fault. Anderson welcomes the boos for it. The wide shots are really good to see here as there are actual people there instead of it looking like they’re in a lunchbox.

He turns his attention to Bully Ray for keeping him on the outside looking in. Anderson promises to be more annoying than ever before and tonight it starts with him going after Angle. Anderson brings up the dreaded rematch clause and he’s cashing in tonight. He knows it won’t be one on one and he points to the ramp. Here’s Sting to be Anderson’s backup. Sting says he’s like a fungus that won’t go away. This week he’s got the power of the Network and he’ll be the enforcer in the main event.

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. British Invasion

Winners get Mexican America on Sunday. No intro for the Brits. Magnus vs. D-Von to start. Off to Pope quickly who hammers away with elbows to the head. Williams comes in and slows things down a bit as you would expect from him. A clothesline gets two for Magnus. Mexican America are on commentatry. A middle rope elbow by Magnus gets two for Williams.

Pope fires off a DDT to Magnus and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to D-Von who cleans house with right hands and power moves. Powerslam gets two on Williams. A Cactus Clothesline by Pope puts Williams on the floor and a release spinebuster by D-Von ends Magnus at 3:56. They seem fine despite almost always having problems.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it wasn’t that bad. Didn’t D-Von not particularly like Pope last week though? Also this is the best they can do for #1 contenders? They’ve won a total of one tag match (this one) and now they get a title shot. That’s wrestling for you I suppose.

An MMA fighter comes in to see Angle.

The Final Four in the BFG Series are Gunner, Roode, Storm and Ray. The matches Sunday are Roode vs. Gunner and Storm vs. Ray. The guy with the most points after those matches go to the PPV. It’s not a tournament, it’s really a points system to go to the biggest show of the year.

All four finalists are in the ring and Ray gets JB out of there. He respects Beer Money but neither of them is going to Bound For Glory. Ray talks about how tag teams want to become great individual wrestlers and every team has done it. Gunner is a guy that is willing to put his personal desires aside and will make sure Ray goes to BFG to win the title. Wrestlers are selfish so Beer Money won’t lay down for each other.

Roode says he doesn’t buy any of what Ray said but they have their eyes set on the world title. They want to be world champion and Sunday only one can walk out #1 contender. Roode asks Ray who is going to be the better man. It’s going to be Roode or Storm because it’s not going to be Gunner or Ray. Roode promises the Beer Money fans that no one will ever split them and no one will ever kill Beer Money. There’s a fatal fourway later on.

We get a recap of Eric’s Hollywood Adventures.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

That MMA guy is on commentary again. What he has to do with this is beyond me but who cares. Robbie keeps trying to put his feet on the ropes for covers and the referee stops counting. And there go Eric’s pants and he’s wearing Jersey Shore style trunks. He hits the top rope elbow for two. A piledriver ends this at 2:51. I’m fine with these antics if the title is defended.

Rob Terry beats up Young post match with a Last Ride.

RVD is looking for Jerry Lynn and hey there he is. Rob gets in his face and Jerry asks what about him. He complains about having to get a real job instead of getting contracts like Rob did. Eric and Hulk called him and asked him about showing up and he said he’s better than Rob. He admits to screwing him and Rob beats him down.

Velvet talks to Mickie who has a dog with her. She mentions wanting to be champion someday. Karen comes in and complains about life in general, saying get rid of the dog. Winter gets her rematch at No Surrender.

Jeff Hardy is here.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is guest enforcer. They exchange headlocks to start and it’s a tossup. Angle takes Anderson down with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They collide in the middle of the ring and both guys are down. They’re mirroring each other so far. Anderson tries to speed it up but gets caught in a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry drop for two.

Kurt counters the Mic Check and hits the Rolling Germans for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on. Anderson manages to roll through and get two before the Mic Check gets the same. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Kurt kicks him low and hits the Slam but Sting pulls the referee out. Anderson hits another Mic Check but here’s Gunner for the DQ at 7:12.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this as it felt like they were just going through the motions to get to the DQ ending. I can’t stand matches like that because they’re boring and don’t show anything that these guys are capable of. Not a good match for the most part but when you handcuff them like this there’s only so much they can do.

Immortal beats down both guys post match. The fans chant for Hardy but that gets them nowhere.

Immortal is celebrating while Eric is on the phone and doesn’t look happy. He tells them to go outside and isn’t happy with what he hears. He’s almost freaking out about it, asking if it’s a prank call. No idea what it is.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Winter

Winter vs. Velvet to start but it’s off to Mickie vs. Angelina before there’s any contact at all. Mickie snaps off a rana out of the corner but a Winter distraction results in a kick to the ribs. Velvet gets a blind tag to come in and a low dropkick gets two. There’s a weak monkey flip and she takes both Winter and Angelina down with a headlock/headscissors combo. Love cheats again and Velvet gets beaten down for awhile. After a long beatdown she makes the hot tag to Mickie and we get the title match preview. With the big hulabaloo going on, Winter sprays blood into Mickie’s face at 5:10 for the pin.

Rating: D+. Love is so skinny it’s getting scary. Other than that, this was your typical Knockout tag: it’s not bad but it’s better than the Divas which is the entire point. I’m still not sure why they gave Mickie the title back already and I hope they don’t give it to Winter again on Sunday because it would be pretty stupid to have the change that fast. This wasn’t terrible though.

Here’s Austin Aries to say he’s going to win the title Sunday. He tells the fans to shut up a lot so clearly he’s not a nice person. Aries calls Kendrick a hypocrite and calls out Kendrick here and now. Here’s the champ in a suit with a briefacse. He talks about being tired of being a social outcast and wants to be a success, like Aries. “I’m even wearing shoes!” And yeah he hates them. He goes into a bit rant about how he needs to be free to reach his mother earth and quotes Buddha a bit. Kendrick calls the title materialistic and Aries insults him a lot. The brawl is on and Aries runs.

Hogan is freaking in a good way and Eric is still upset. He talks about going to the beach and Eric says we’re not done yet. The Network isn’t happy. Because of the beating that Hogan is so happy about there’s a three way for the title at No Surrender with Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s Jeff with like two minutes left. He talks about how he was messed up last time and he’s sorry about it. He had a problem and hit rock bottom there. Everyone is mad at him and he can’t blame them. His eyes look decent at least. He wants one more shot. The fans chant one more shot. He says all he can do is ask and that’s it.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week but you can see a lot of problems. For one thing we got three title matches added with three days left before the PPV, one of which is the main event. That’s a match that could draw in some people and they’re adding it in at the last minute. The Hardy thing is too early to tell but my initial instinct is not to trust him, which is partially the point and all of the problem. Good show this week but No Surrender feels thrown together and that’s not good.

Results

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. British Invasion – Spinebuster to Williams

Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver

Mr. Anderson b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered

Winter/Angelina Love b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Winter spit blood in James’ face

Gunner b. James Storm, Robert Roode and Bully Ray – Running knee to Ray

Yes he is.  For ten days.

He also gets a hundred thousand dollar fine and 30 months probation.  All this after over a year in court.

Thoughts on this?

Starrcade 1991
Date: December 29, 1991
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Vigrinia
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

This is the inaugural Battlebowl and I believe the first WCW PPV I distinctly remember. This is literally the only thing on the whole card. There are ten qualifying matches with mixed up tag teams and then the two ring battle royal main event. That being said this is BY FAR the best way they ever accomplished it and a good show based on my memories.

The only thing that matters here is Sting vs. Luger as this is more or less one big buildup show to SuperBrawl where they would go at it for the world title. Starrcade went from being the biggest show of the year to this somehow which is something a lot of people never got. This concept would get bad quickly but at first it was good and it had Sting at the height of his drawing powers as a face so we have that to fall back on. Let’s get to it.

The opening is a basic video explaining what I just said to you.

Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt and Magnum TA do the drawings. I won’t mention throwing it to them as there’s nothing to it really.

Michael Hayes/Tracy Smothers vs. Marcus Bagwell/Jimmy Garvin

Hayes and Garvin of course are the Freebirds. Allegedly the matches here were in fact fixed but booked to the point that you couldn’t tell they were. The non-Freebirds start us off with Bagwell being the only face in sight. Or is Smothers the only heel? I can never remember with the Freebirds. These shows are hard to talk about as there are no angles so we kind of have to figure that out as we go.

We go to the crowd where we see wide spaces of empty seats. We hear about Mike Graham teaching Bagwell and how great of a trainer he is. That’s a lie as he’s a terrible trainer but points for trying I guess. No tags yet. Ah there’s one as Garvin comes in. Apparently the Birds are faces here. If nothing else they’re popular here so that’s all that matters. Smothers goes to the floor as this isn’t really going anywhere.

Hayes shaking his head at Smothers is funny stuff though. Bagwell back in and the arm gets worked over. Hayes finally comes in to a solid pop. And there he goes again as Smothers is getting destroyed out there. He’s a US Tag Champion at this point which means nothing but the lack of angles leaves me a lot of empty space to fill. The fans think Tracy sucks.

Yeah the Pistols (Tracy’s team) are heels now which makes more sense. The Freebirds have to go at it for once and of course they don’t do much other than strut and lock up a lot. Oh hey there’s an arm drag! This is all in good fun though rather than being bad. And after a good bit of nothing they’re both out again. Can’t say I blame them though as it wouldn’t have made a ton of sense to beat each other up.

Garvin vs. Smothers now as we speed things up a bit. Cross body by Bagwell gets two and then Hayes accidentally hits Garvin, which says a lot as one of his finishers was a big left hand. While they argue, Smothers misses a top rope splash and Bagwell gets his Fisherman’s Suplex for the pin. The Freebirds are all cool and Bagwell and Garvin are in Battlebowl.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and the matches will be on a bit of an adjusted scale. In other words this wasn’t a great match all things considered but given what they have to work with, as in not their usual partners or in Bagwell’s case a tag match in general, this was pretty good and held my interest for the nearly 13 minutes it got, which was probably too many.

Rick Rude/Steve Austin vs. Big Josh/Van Hammer

Let’s see: Van Hammer was a total lack of talent but became one of the most popular guys in the company. Josh was a woodsman that danced with bears and was at the first Wrestlemania and was the original Doink. Rude is US Champion, Austin is TV Champion. Both are in the Dangerous Alliance and both are awesome. Austin and Hammer start which works as they had a TV Title feud.

Man it’s weird seeing Austin as someone that reminds me of Dolph Ziggler but with a better name. His character was NOTHING like the redneck and he could move out there. You can see the talent too which is weird considering who he’s in there with. Not much going on here but nothing too bad I guess.

Hot tag to Big Josh and his offense lasts all of a minute as Austin and Rude’s combined awesomeness takes him down. We more or less repeat the same stuff from the previous segment as Josh gets beaten down and searches for the tag. Sweet goodness Van Hammer was over. It could be argued that he was second only to Sting in popularity. And so much for that as a blind tag and Rude Awakening end Hammer.

Rating: D+. Total run of the mill stuff here but Austin and Rude make it worth watching. They had the advantage here due to experience together but the creativity of the faces made something like this far better than I expected. Not a great match but it worked. Somehow this was the same length to within a few seconds of the previous match which blows my mind.

El Gigante/Larry Zbyszko vs. Dustin Rhodes/Richard Morton

I smell a comedy match here. Larry, the genius that he is, allows Gigante to do the vast majority of the work here. To be fair that’s a rather smart strategy considering who his partner is. Larry is the coach apparently, barking orders at Gigante throughout the entire match. Rhodes does the vast majority of the work for his team which is odd as Morton is certainly capable of holding his own out there.

Larry comes in and has a good mini match with Dustin. Rhodes, more commonly known as Goldust today, was getting better every day at this point and Larry was a solid veteran that retired very early for a wrestler, hanging up the boots for the most part at around 40. He started doing more independent stuff but that’s certainly common. Larry tags Gigante in and then slaps him, sealing his own fate. Larry tries to run but Gigante throws him back in by his head and into a double dropkick for a growl at the referee and the easy pin. Morton was never legally in.

Rating: C-. Another quick but solid match. Actually no it wasn’t another quick match but rather the first quick match. This had a story to it which tells you what can be done if you rig the matches properly. While there was no direct connection here the idea of a loudmouth and a monster doing their thing was well done. Morton literally not being in there was weird but whatever.

Bill Kazmaier/Jushin Liger vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Mike Graham

Oh where to begin? Kazmaier is at the time the greatest competitor in the history of the World’s Strongest Man from America at this point. The problem is he makes Mark Henry look like Lou Thesz. Liger I’m sure you know of. DDP was still terrible at this point as he had just entered into the wrestling world having been a manager forever. Graham is the son of Eddie Graham, the legendary Florida promoter. He wasn’t horrible but he was more or less just a territorial guy put in a spot he wasn’t ready for.

Graham and Liger start us off which is by far the best possible combination. Liger is young here and completely awesome. Also keep in mind that he’s unlike anything that anyone had ever seen in America before. The roof of the place is rather weird looking to the point that it looks like a spaceship or something. And here’s Kazmaier. This could be painful to put it mildly, but at least Page isn’t here yet.

And I need to learn to stop talking. Page can’t slam him as Bill hasn’t really done anything at all. Kaz can’t do much of anything here so he has to defer to DDP which is a losing situation too. And here’s Liger vs. Page which is going to be a disaster too since Page won’t be able to do anything so Liger has to calm his stuff down. Back to the two talented ones and that lasts all of a second.

Back to Kazmaier, a power guy, that locks on a wristlock. Sure why not. Back over to Page as this is dragging something fierce. We get the eternally awesome Liger Surfboard on Graham as this match needs to end soon. Graham gets out and puts on a pretty bad looking Boston Crab. Very boring match so far. Back to DDP and Kaz which lasts about a second before it’s Liger and Graham part 5.

And so much for that as we’re back to the bad workers. They’re tagging very fast here. Graham goes to the floor and Liger hits a big front flip to take him out. Well at least I think that’s what he did as Ross can only tell us about it since the camera missed it. Second rope moonsault gets two for Liger. Everyone in there now as Kaz press slams Liger onto Page for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was FAR too long and that’s definitely the biggest thing it has going against it here. The other thing is Liger is the best worker in there while Graham was just ok. He however was the best wrestler on his team and the only one that belonged in the ring at all. Page wouldn’t get much better for about four years but he got better in a hurry once he started. This could have been decent if it had cut off about 4-5 minutes.

Lex Luger/Arn Anderson vs. Terrance Taylor/Z-Man

Z-Man is the only face out there. The heel team is rather impressive sounding. Luger is the dominant world champion at this point. Anderson and the face start us off and Taylor seems to not care that he’s a bad guy. Everyone goes in almost immediately and Luger and Arn are sent running. Luger and Zenk (What did you think the Z stood for?) and Luger have a nice fast paced sequence.

Taylor comes in as the faces (more or less) work on Lex’s arm. We hear about Luger trying to put Sting out of action using the gift boxes which was the biggest angle going at the time. In a nice sequence, Taylor goes for a sunset flip but Luger punches him. He has to do this twice more and STILL can’t get rid of Taylor but as he’s going down he tags Arn.

In that sequence you had Taylor, Luger and Anderson all involved in one straight stretch. It’s not something you see that often either and it was rather creative. I liked that more than I should have more than likely but whatever. Race interferes, allowing Anderson to hook a DDT (his finisher) on Zenk for two as Taylor makes the save.

Luger was kicked out of Miami for disciplinary reasons. I’ve never heard that before. Anderson goes for a double axe handle off the middle rope while Z-Man is on his back. It’s one of those stupid spots where the guy jumps into the feet. Never liked that but it’s a wrestling staple I guess. Taylor gets a rollup on Luger for two. Backslide gets two.

Gutwrench powerbomb gets two on Luger to the point where Anderson has to make a save. Taylor is showing off here and it’s working. Wow did I just say that? He calls for the Five Arm (another reason I can’t stand him) but Anderson gets a knee in the back to set up the Attitude Adjustment (Luger’s Piledriver. I guess 19 years is long enough to steal a name) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Definitely the best tag match so far. We had a definite face and heel team out there and it helped a lot. Having Anderson being the expert in tag wrestling that he was and making the save for Luger against the young hot shot that was giving him trouble was a nice story. This was a solid match and it worked very well given the circumstances here.

Ricky Steamboat/Todd Champion vs. Buddy Lee Parker/Cactus Jack

Champion is one half of the Patriots and is more or less an army ranger kind of character. He’s big and handsome and that’s about it. Parker is a weak cop character and more famous as the guy that said Batista had zero future as a wrestler. He’s considered one of the biggest jerks in wrestling history as he accomplished a grand total of nothing in his career but expected insane praise from anyone new in the business.

Almost all of his trainees (including one Bill Goldberg) would probably enjoy this as while he’s leaving the locker room Abdullah the Butcher beats the HECK out of him because Abdullah wanted to be partners with Cactus. Side note: why was there never a Cactus vs. Steamboat feud? How awesome would that have been? The beating in essence makes this a handicap match for Cactus.

Abdullah comes out to be his partner but of course isn’t allowed. Parker stumbles out through the curtain and Abdullah kicks his teeth in again, beating him half to death with the stick he carries with him. The two legends start us off here as Steamboat isn’t sure what to do with the ultra-aggressive Cactus.

Parker, trying to remember what planet he’s on, crawls back up onto the ramp after Abdullah kicked him off to the concrete below. Steamboat skins the cat and sends Cactus to the floor and hits what we would call a suicide dive to take Cactus down. Back in and Ricky throws in a superkick and enziguri to make the tag. To say he was ahead of his time in America is an understatement.

Champion, more or less just a big power guy, locks on a camel clutch. Parker is literally crawling on his stomach towards the ring. He’s selling the beatdown if nothing else. Tony sums it up perfectly (I’m shocked too) by saying that he looks like he’s in the desert reaching for a drink of water. Cactus hits his elbow from the middle rope to the floor which in his book he credits with causing his knees to slowly fall apart over the years.

Parker has made it all the way to the other ring but still has one more to get through. Cactus apparently has no clue this is happening but that was typical of him back in the day. Champion gets a powerslam for two as Parker has made it to the corner! Cactus goes up top but Champion gets a punch to the stomach to block it.

They collide and Parker, who is a jobber mind you, gets the tag. His reward for making it all the way here after a beating like that: A fresh Ricky Steamboat. Dang talk about having a bad day. Naturally a powerslam and the cross body end him in about 6 seconds. Well at least they made it quick.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here considering it was a handicap match more or less. Cactus was getting very good around this point and everyone knew it. They put him together with Sting soon after this and it was totally awesome. Steamboat here was of course good and Champion fit in very well as the power guy against Foley. Nothing great but all things considered this was fine.

Sting/Abdullah the Butcher vs. Bobby Eaton/Brian Pillman

That’s actually a good sounding heel team. Since Sting is on one team they’re the automatic faces of course. Abdullah was one of the guys that Luger sent to try to take Sting out so this is almost 3-1 against Sting. Abdullah with his rather horrible physique of course jumps Sting and beats him with his stick (called a kendo stick so it wasn’t WWE that invented it).

Brian runs down and makes the save for his buddy, beating on him with the same stick. Eaton works on Sting’s bad knee as this is going insanely fast so far. Eaton throws him into the ring and we’re finally going officially. The other two are still brawling on the floor and Sting is in big trouble already. The hero fights back through and Eaton is in trouble as we’re on the ramp.

Eaton is part of the Dangerous Alliance who Sting is feuding with. Sting is just ridiculously popular here. Eaton slaps Pillman which is apparently a tag. Ok apparently it isn’t. Butcher blasts Sting just because he feels like it and Sting is in trouble again. He drops down to the floor and grabs a pencil from Ross’ desk. Tony: I don’t think he’s going to use that pencil in its proper use. You can’t buy announcing like this people.

Naturally the pencil goes towards Sting’s throat. Who would you disqualify there? Pillman makes the save for his friend and Sting is all ticked off. He beats up Eaton on the floor as he’s getting violent out there. Pillman slams Butcher in the ring and hits a big old splash on the fat dude. Brian won’t tag Eaton.

Eaton tries to tag Abdullah who has no issue with wanting to beat up Sting. The announcers talk about how Sting has been in there the whole time which Eaton has as well. Sting counters something into a tombstone which is more or less botched. Pillman and Abdullah come in to fight some more as Cactus come lumbering out. Abdullah holds Sting but Cactus misses and blasts Butcher with the stick. After a dropkick for Jack, a cross body to Eaton ends this.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly not boring. It wasn’t particularly great but Eaton vs. Sting is always worth checking out. Total one man show out there from Sting which is all the fans wanted. Pillman wasn’t quite a star yet so he was the only person anyone cared about out there. It would play into the ending of the show later on so this was important. Very fast paced and never once boring.

Cactus and Abdullah fight up the ramp for fun.

Vader/Mr. Hughes vs. Rick Steiner/Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, AKA Adam Bomb. It was originally supposed to be Diamond Studd (Scott Hall) but he has an arm injury. Vader is kind of new at this point but would become awesome very shortly. Steiner is the only face here. Vader and Hughes apparently team from time to time. Vader and Steiner start us off.

Everyone here played college football apparently. Wait Rick did? Are you sure about that? Ah never mind he just said college sports. That’s ok then. Steiner jumps from the apron to the floor to nail Vader as this is really just those two having a match while the other two are standing around which is likely the best idea for everyone involved.

Steiner and Vader get into a big power match on the floor so Vader rams him into the post. In an impressive show of strength Rick suplexes Vader back over the top rope and into the ring. Rick won’t tag out because he knows Nightstalker is awful. He tags Rick instead and promptly gets drilled by Vader. Bulldog off the top from Steiner to Hughes but he’s not legal so a splash on Nightstalker ends it.

Rating: D. Bad match here but at the same time look at who was out there. Steiner was all his team had and Vader was just a monster that if you weren’t named Steamboat or Sting you had no business in there with. This was the shortest match on the show at barely over five minutes so there’s that at least. Nothing good here at all but Steiner was trying.

Ad for Superbrawl, an hour and a half into this.

Scott Steiner/Firebreaker Chip vs. Arachnaman/Johnny B. Badd

Arachnaman is Brad Armstrong and Chip is Todd Champion’s partner in the Patriots. Basically Steiner is the only one in this worth anything. Badd means nothing at this point. He and Chip, who is roided like there is no tomorrow, start us off. And I’m bored. It’s not too bad but we’re just waiting for Scott to come in there and destroy everything in sight.

Yep there’s the tag and there goes Johnny. Armstrong (you try spelling the other one over and over) comes in and as usual gets his head handed to him. Steiner is just killing anything in sight with raw power. Down goes Badd again and Chip gets tagged back in. And of course he gets beaten down again. When I say beaten down I mean for a very long time as the heels (I guess?) take turns destroying him.

There are long stretches in here with nothing to say as no one cares about anyone but Steiner and with good reason. We speed things up a bit and Steiner gets a blind tag from Chip. Steiner comes in to a solid pop and just massacres them. Armstrong gets a kick but goes up top, only to get caught in a GORGEOUS belly to belly suplex from Scott to end this. Awesome suplex to end it as it looked devastating.

Rating: D+. Total dominance from Scott as everything here was designed to make him look like a star. If he hadn’t kept getting hurt he really could have been something special. Back in his young days he really was the prototype athlete as he had insane strength and agility for someone his size. Shame he completely lost his mind.

Ron Simmons/Thomas Rich vs. Steve Armstrong/PN News

This is the final tag match which is a good thing as you can tell that the fans are pretty much sick of them at this point. They really needed some singles stuff thrown in here and there to give the people something of a break. Power vs. power to start here with News vs. Simmons. Rich is a former world champion and Armstrong is one of the Young Pistols.

Simmons is on the verge of a huge push where he would win the world title. Simmons dominates for a good while until Rich more or less demands to come in. And then Armstrong beats him up so he begs to get back out. Simmons says no you wanted in so stay in like the jerk he used to be.

News and Armstrong beat up Rich for a LONG time and it gets very boring. The fans want Ron, Rich wants Ron, I want a stiff drink. This concept is fine but it REALLY needs to have shorter matches. We’re about ten minutes into this and there’s just nothing to talk about. Simmons finally gets the hot tag and the fans pop BIG. He slams News (who weighed like 450) and hits a Spinebuster on Armstrong to win it.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever let’s just get to the battle royal so I can stay awake. See the previous match’s rating and substitute Simmons for Steiner.

Battlebowl

Two ring battle royal with the 20 winners from the ten tags that I’m not going to list off. Ok so I am since it takes a good while for the entrances: Vader, Marcus Bagwell, Jimmy Garvin, Dustin Rhodes, Bill Kazmaier, Jushin Liger, Steve Austin, Richard Morton, Todd Champion, Abdullah the Butcher, Firebreaker Chip, Thomas Rich, Ron Simmons, Ricky Steamboat, Mr. Hughes, Scott Steiner, Lex Luger, Rick Rude, Arn Anderson, Sting.

They saved Sting for last and I guess the fans were counting as just after Anderson you can hear them erupt. Sting is just ridiculously popular to the point where it’s hard to tell who the second most popular guy in the company is since it’s such a gap between whoever it is and Sting. Steamboat I suppose. This is on the Essential Starrcade DVD if you want to see it. The DVD is well worth picking up anyway as it’s awesome. Bad documentary though.

The first guy, Vader, misses his cue so the announcer has to stall by saying “The first competitor……in Battlebowl……the very first…….is…….VADER!” Funny. Quick summary of the rules: you start in the first ring and have to be thrown into the second ring (never specified if it has to be over the top) and then from the second ring over the top to the floor to be eliminated. Whoever wins the first ring will meet whoever wins the second ring in an over the top rope challenge for the whole thing.

They all start as Sting hits the ramp. Like the idiot that he is he goes straight for Vader. Anderson vs. Steamboat happens on the ramp. If nothing else the image of Anderson PANICKING when Steamboat is revealed as Dustin’s partner at Clash 17 is great. Kazmaier is put on the ramp over the top and Vader and Hughes, the guys that put him out, look legit confused when he’s allowed back in.

It’s so weird seeing Austin with blonde hair long enough to be in a ponytail. Ok apparently it is over the top to get into ring two. Vader and Steamboat go to the ramp too which is another drool worthy match. I know they had at least one big time TV match because I’ve seen it. Sting and Austin go at it in the corner. Imagine that match in 1998. Sweet goodness that would have drawn millions.

Vader puts Steamboat on the ramp again just because he’s evil. Rhodes and Anderson are brawling on the floor. Liger beats on Abdullah which is one heck of a weird match when you think about it. Thomas Rich goes into ring 2. You just have to go over the rope and can land between the rings as going over both sets would be really hard since there’s a good three foot gap between them.

Sting goes after Luger and the fans ERUPT. Morton throws Bagwell into ring 2 to give Rich something to do. Thankfully they go to a wide shot instead of the very annoying double screen. Dangerously gets on Tony and Jim’s nerves which is really funny. He was such a freaking jerk. Vader won’t go near the other side of the ring which is really smart. Well who’s going to make him I guess.

Chip hits ring 2 also giving us three people there. Liger and Morton go over also as the first ring is thinning out a bit. I love that they don’t even bother showing us that ring as no one cares. Ok now they won’t show ring 1. Well to be fair what happens there doesn’t really matter I guess. Morton and Liger have a solid mini match and then both go out, eliminating them from the match altogether.

Hughes is in ring two now. That gives us 14 people in ring 1 I believe. Rich is out. Steamboat and Anderson have fought around the ring and just kind of go into ring 2 for the fun of it. Garvin and Champion are in ring two now. It’s reaching the point of just needing to know who is left in ring #1. Tony thinks there are ten left in there but counting may be beyond his skill set.

Austin and someone else that may have been Scott Steiner hit ring 2. Garvin is out. Kazmaier and Abdullah go to the second ring. So does Simmons even though he went through the ropes. In ring 1 we have Sting, Rude (who both go to ring 2 as I type their names) leaving Luger and Vader (Rhodes went over as I was typing) in ring 1. Luger beats up Vader and Harley Race looks awesome here since he manages both guys. Or at least he would manage Vader soon.

Chip is out as Luger wins ring 1. You can’t say he wasn’t pushed as a strong champion. Abdullah and Kaz and Champion all go out. Luger gets to chill for awhile as Steiner has the future Steiner Recliner on Hughes. There’s a chance I’ve missed some people as it’s hard to tell as everything is going kind of fast. We do a wide shot and a split screen to annoy me. Granted the split screen are just small windows and are over the ring skirt (the thing that says WWE or TNA and is below the apron).

Rhodes is out and so are Hughes and Simmons. Bagwell is out and so are Vader and someone else I missed. Steiner is out and we have one heck of a tag match left with Steamboat, Sting, Austin and Rude as the final four. Steamboat pairs off with Austin and Sting beats on Rude. Stinger Splash to Austin which just sounds right coming out of JR’s mouth.

Rude is US Champion, Austin is TV Champion and Steamboat is a tag champion here. With four people left is there really a need for small split screens? Rude accidentally hits Austin to out him out. Rude throws Steamboat but he skins the cat and gets a headscissors on Rude to eliminate him. Rude grabs him as he gets back in to eliminate him then slides back in to hit a Rude Awakening on Sting.

The fans go NUTS for the idea of Sting vs. Luger though, making this the perfect ending for Battlebowl. This was the top rivalry at this point and everyone was just waiting for Sting to rise up and take the title off the monster champion. All Luger here as Sting is more or less dead. Both guys are in yellow here which is weird. Luger doesn’t throw him out when he has the chance, showing his incredible intelligence.

Luger throws him to the ramp and Race beats Sting up so Sting has to fight him off too. Sting goes into the guardrail and Sting is more or less nothing right here. Sting blocks a shot to the railing and takes over with the fans getting into things again. Sting puts him back into the ring and is all fired up. He beats the tar out of Luger and has him draped over the ropes.

Race comes in and Sting has to stop him, allowing Luger to rest enough to avoid the Splash and leave Sting hanging over the top rope. And again like an idiot he pulls him back in. Luger throws him over but Sting holds on and just goes OFF, beating the heck out of Luger and finally hitting a big clothesline to put Luger out and then collapses in the ring.

Rating: B. This was rather fun actually. The two ring idea worked very well and the final pairing was perfect. This is what you get when there’s a POINT to a battle royal rather than just having one for the sake of having one. Sting looks awesome and we set up the main event of the next PPV. What more can you ask for?

The announcers say time is running out for Luger to run as Sting is coming for him. He’d get him in about two months.

Overall Rating: C. This was a hard one to grade as this is the definition of a hit or miss show. The concept is a novelty for sure, but this is the only time it ever really worked. The main reason for this has to be Sting and Luger. At the three other versions of this the winners were Great Muta (left for Japan soon after), Vader (already world champion) and DDP (glorified jobber).

Here with Sting winning it you have a story and reason for him now to fight Luger since he’s beaten him in a major competition. That being said, this is more or less a failure as a build for the biggest show of the year as THIS should have been Sting vs. Luger, not Superbrawl. At least we got something entertaining between them before Luger was a jerk at the title match, knowing it was his last match and more or less phoning in the phone call he made to phone the match in. Either way, if you want to see Battlebowl at its best, this is the show to do it. Good show but ODD choice for Starrcade.

NXT
Date: September 6, 2011
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re back after a week off last week and now we can continue doing absolutely nothing with the rookies on the show! Anyway this is I think the 26^th week for this show, nearly combining the first two seasons of it. If nothing else we might get some more updates on the AJ/leprechaun romance and I for one can’t wait for that. Let’s get to it.

Jack Korpela, the guy from WWE 24/7, has taken the departed Grisham’s place.

We get a recap of Striker being interrupted by Young. Young blasted him and yelled at him until Regal made the save.

Here’s Young to open the show. He makes fun of Striker for saying the same thing every week. However he says NXT is over, finished and done. OH YES!!! THERE IS HOPE PEOPLE!!! And of course there isn’t because he says there’s no point to continuing it because he’s already won. He turns his attention to Regal and thanks him for wanting to fight tonight.

Regal grabs a mic and gets into the ring. He believes Young has a future in the WWE but beating people like Striker up isn’t the way to do it and Regal isn’t going to allow it. Young says stop stealing his spotlight. Regal says he doesn’t need it because everyone knows who he is already. He talks about how he’s committed more crimes in and out of this ring than anyone Young knows. Young asks for a match and Regal says if that’s what it takes to get through to Young so be it.

Inside Out trailer kills some time.

AJ/Titus O’Neil vs. Maxine/Derrick Bateman

The guys start us off and some of the camera work is cool here as it’s a lot closer than usual. All Titus the first minute or so in. Powerslam gets one. Off to the chicks and AJ hits a nice spin kick to put Maxine down again. Low dropkick gets two for her. This has been one of the most one sided matches I’ve seen in a long time. Naturally as I say that Maxine gets a two count.

We’re told Horny has coached AJ because he’s learned from DX and Finlay. Seriously, what are we supposed to believe that Horny has taught her? How to throw a spin kick? We’re supposed to buy that? Why am I questioning NXT logic anymore. Off to a chinlock and then an atomic drop. Scratch that and we’re back to the chinlock again. We get a double tag which is pretty pointless since we’ve established that the genders have to match. Titus cleans house and hits a shoulder breaker for two. Clash of the Titus and we’re done at 5:23.

Rating: C. Titus is so far and away better than anyone on this show including most of the pros it’s unreal. There’s no point in even having the competition anymore but I have a feeling they’re going to turn him heel eventually, saying he doesn’t need Horny anymore and they’ll drag the show out for another five months or so to flesh out that storyline and keep us from getting anywhere.

Maxine is yelling at Bateman over their failure. He brings up watching Dirty Dancing last night instead of Roadhouse and then they fight about hair. Maxine says they need to separate Horny from AJ and that’ll be what they need. This sums up the entire season: Bateman: “It’s so hot when you scheme against leprechauns.”

Regal leaves to get ready for the main event. Striker replaces him.

Here’s Tyson Kidd who says that someone has been messing with him lately, flashing Japanese characters on the screen. He says Yoshi needs to come out wherever he is. Kidd is from the Hart Family Dungeon so he’s the best, including better than Tatsu. Another character flashes up (Striker says it means pride) and here’s Yoshi….in a mask. The music is his and he’s announced as Yoshi.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd

He takes the mask off and has half his face painted white/red with a Japanese character and half is normal skin. Think Roddy Piper at Mania 6. I don’t get it. Was it supposed to be some kind of a surprise that it’s Yoshi? It’s not like there are many other Japanese guys in the company. Kidd takes over to start with pounding but Yoshi drapes him over the top with a release suplex. Tyson is on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Yoshi slingshotting Kidd to the ropes. Kidd tries to skin the cat (who thought of that term anyway? I mean who looked at it and thought of a cat being skinned?) so Kidd kicks him down to the floor again. Kidd takes over and after a beating we’re on to a chinlock in the ring. While in the chinlock Striker calls Regal the best athlete never to hold a major championship. The IC Title is a minor title?

With Tatsu in 619 position Kidd drops a leg from the apron which gets two. Back to the chinlock but Tatsu escapes with a belly to back to put both guys down. Out to the floor again and Kidd runs into a boot to the face to put him down. Tatsu goes up and hits a top rope chop and a shining wizard gets two. Striker asks if we should start calling Tatsu Hokori (it’s the Japanese word for pride so I probably misspelled that) and then says question mark.

Yoshi loads up a big kick but Kidd kicks the knee out to take over again. The springboard elbow drop hits knee, which you would think would hurt the knee a lot worse than it would hurt Kidd’s elbow. Either way Tatsu goes up but Kidd hits a running dropkick to take him down again. Tatsu blocks a super rana and a top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 10:32.

Rating: B-. These two have good chemistry together but the problem here was that Tatsu was the same guy in different color tights and with half of his face painted. He’s always worked hard and never given up, so why is this any different? It was just as good as any of their other matches so if you’ve liked them, you’ll like this one too.

Darren Young vs. William Regal

No entrance for Young. Regal takes over immediately with knees to the head of Young in the corner. Out to the floor and it’s all Regal. The fans seem into him also. Regal goes over to the broadcast table and grabs a headset, yelling at Young to apologize and Young says no way. Young reverses and sends Regal into the corner and he looks to be in a lot of pain.

Young yells at Striker because he’s not a nice person. Regal gets all ticked off but gets caught because the referee gets in the way. Young stomps on Regal’s hands and they go into a submission sequence on the mat which Regal gets kicked in the face for. Back to the mat and Regal takes over with a hard elbow to the face. The referee won’t shut up so Regal turns to him and apologizes, kicking his foot backwards into Young’s chest. That made me smile. Exploder suplex sets up the Regal Stretch and here’s JTG for the run-in but Striker takes him down! Running knee to the head of Young ends this at 6:50

Rating: C. Regal can still go in the ring and knows how to work a crowd and cheat like a master. Young on the other hand is as generic as you can get and is a great example of what’s wrong with the developmental system. The guy is built very well and is passable in the ring, but he has no ability to get the crowd into a match or against him at all. There’s nothing at all that makes him stand out from anyone else on the roster. The difference between someone that worked his way up through the indies and the old school way and the modern system is remarkable.

Overall Rating: C. I’m going to have to start grading this on an NXT scale, meaning for this show it was ok. The stories aren’t that bad but for the most part they have nothing to do with the NXT competition anymore. It was nice to see the rookies back in action though so at least there’s that. They were fighting announcers but at least they were there. Also it’s pretty clear that we’ll have Regal/Striker vs. Young/JTG soon, probably next week. Not bad here, but it’s still just NXT.

Results

Titus O’Neil/AJ b. Maxine/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – Top rope spinwheel kick

William Regal b. Darren Young – Running knee to the head

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re two weeks from Night of Champions and we have a lot of the card starting to be filled in. HHH vs. Punk is already happening this early which really surprises me. We also have Cena vs. Del Rio and the champ will actually be back tonight after getting his work visa stuff straightened out. Other than that we know the titles will be on the line but we’re not sure who will be challenging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long montage of HHH vs. Punk and the Nash factor too. When I say long I mean like three or four minutes.

Here’s the Cult of Personality to open things up. He talks about how he’s different and doesn’t have a filter from his brain to his mouth. That also makes him a target and tonight he’s against R-Truth. He’d rather be facing Kevin Nash because he’s the status quo. He doesn’t buy that Nash and HHH are arguing, so right now he’s offering Nash an open forum to come and face him like a man.

Here’s Nash who talks about how he’s not apologizing for what he did last week. Punk runs down all of Nash’s nicknames (SUPER SHREDDER!!!!!) and Nash isn’t thrilled. He says Punk should be thankful for HHH pulling him out of the match because he’d kill Punk. Punk says Nash hasn’t been relevant since 1994 and that brings Nash closer to the ring.

HHH comes out and Nash says HHH needs to get rid of Punk who is a cancer. I hate that word being used in wrestling, I really do. HHH says he found some stuff out this week. The Staples Center (the place Summerslam was held) found some security footage which shows who sent the text from HHH’s phone. The person that sent the text to Nash from HHH’s phone was…..Nash.

Nash says that’s true and he did it so he could make the WWE cool again. One of them (Nash or Punk) has to go. HHH says Punk hasn’t lied to him once and Nash has done nothing but lie since he came back. HHH says he doesn’t want to do this and Nash freaks out. He gets in HHH’s face and HHH blasts him and then fires him before leaving. Punk talks some trash and we take a break.

Nash is trying to leave and Johnny Ace gets in his car after looking around first.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali

They’re officially Air Boom. Justin Roberts told me so. This is non-title. Mahal vs. Bourne to start us off and Bourne tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a jumping knee. Lawler has to fight either Otunga or McGillicutty later tonight. Khali comes in and beats up Bourne for a bit and it’s back to Jinder. Bourne gets in a shot and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He beats up Mahal but is sent to the floor by Khali. Khali sends Kofi back in but misses a chop, hitting Mahal instead. That sets up the Shooting Star for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. This match made perfect sense. The champions couldn’t hang against the two bigger guys physically so they used teamwork to escape with the win. I liked this and it’s cool to see a team thrown together actually working as a unit and having some chemistry. You can get good teams out of that and it’s working here.

Kelly is on commentary for the next match.

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Winner gets Kelly at the PPV. No chance for Natalya? And why not exactly? Beth has the skirt/shorts look back. Nattie sits in on commentary also, giving us five total people out there. Eve tries what looked to be a monkey flip but slips. Beth uses power and sends her shoulder first into the post. Natalya and Kelly are arguing over what Divas should be like the whole match. Eve misses a kick out of the corner and gets caught in the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:03. This was really, REALLY sloppy looking.

Nattie decks Kelly post match.

Drew McIntyre is talking to Christian who wants ONE MORE shot. Drew says he deserves one shot at….something but he’s cut off by Alberto. Del Rio talks about how he expected Christian to be champion here. The reason he doesn’t is John Cena. Christian cuts him off and says this is the part where Del Rio wants him to fight Del Rio’s battles for him right? Del Rio points out that Cena gave him an AA last week and the next night Christian had the cage match. He leaves the Canadian with that thought.

Inside Out trailer because we need to be reminded about it in case we happen to live in one of the 10 cities it’s showing in.

Truth vs. Punk next.

R-Truth vs. CM Punk

The Truth has now set him free instead of shall set him free. Miz is nowhere to be seen even though he was coming to the ring with Truth before the break. He wants to know why Punk is different because he was telling the truth the whole time before Punk was. Maybe he should buy a ticket to Night of Champions so he can stuff his face with popcorn.

This brings out Miz who says there’s a conspiracy and that HHH is in way over his head. Miz is going to do HHH’s job for him: at the PPV they’re getting the tag title match. They make fun of the name Air Boom and it isn’t funny. Punk is about to get got. Miz has a satellite radio show now. Punk controls early with a headlock and Jerry has to get us back onto the match while Cole starts ranting against Ross a bit.

Punk hits a suicide dive to take Truth out but Miz moves to avoid it. While still on the floor Miz gets a shot in to Punk’s knee and Truth takes over. This show and this match in particular are just dragging. I know they were in Europe this past week (the SD guys were) but this has been very lackluster. Truth throws on a half crab while the announcers spend the entire match talking about HHH and how he’s failing running the company. Truth goes up very slowly and Punk pops him in the head.

Punk goes up for a superplex and is at least selling the knee. He goes all the way up too and the superplex puts both guys down. Punk gets a hobbling knee in the corner and the bulldog to follow. The springboard clothesline hits and Punk is rapidly getting louder and louder face pops. The knee gives out on the GTS and Truth hits the sitout gordbuster for two. Punk takes out Miz and there goes the plaid! Miz gets ejected but Punk gets hit in the back while watching it. Not that it matters because the GTS ends Truth clean at 9:45.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t into this one. Punk’s selling was good but at the same time the parts where Truth was in control were really boring. Punk’s face pops are interesting as the fans are getting more and more into his offense. It wasn’t horrible but Truth is really boring to me in the ring anymore.

HHH comes out post match and Punk says he still doesn’t believe Nash and HHH aren’t in on it together still. HHH calls Punk Obama since he wants change. The match at NOC is now no DQ and afterwards Punk might get fired. Punk says that’s cool but he wants one more thing: if HHH loses, he resigns as COO. HHH says done and leaves.

Some guy I don’t recognize (apparently Curt Hawkins) is talking to Tyler Reks and Wade Barrett. Del Rio interrupts and gives the same kind of speech to Barrett that he gave to Christian. Yes pick the guy that lost to Cena in three minutes last week.

The WWE Network is coming in 2012.

We get a quick recap of last week with Lawler insulting McGillicutty and Otunga and them getting in his face.

There’s a tag team match this week and Lawler has a mystery partner: Zack Ryder. We get a video of Ryder, complete with a big montage of his show and Cena appearing on it. I guess this is his official face turn.

Jerry Lawler/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Ryder gets beaten down for the early part of the match while Cole makes fun of his Youtube show. After about a minute it’s a hot tag to Lawler and he cleans house with punches and a dropkick. The middle rope punch hits and Ryder wants in. He hits the Rough Ryder on Otunga and we’re done in 2:00. This was fine.

Del Rio tries to get Ziggler to do his thing. The Bellas come up and hit on him. He says hang on a sec and keeps going on Ziggler, implying Vickie is cheating on him….kind of.

Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater

Slater is sent into the post about 5 seconds into this and Orton hammers him down. Orton stomps away and hits the knee drop. Slater pokes him in the eye and gets an enziguri for two. Spinebuster gets two. Orton fakes Slater out and takes over again. There’s the powerslam and the elevated DDT. RKO and we’re done at 2:57. Just a quick match that wasn’t quite a squash.

Ryder is talking to Cena and is filming his show at the same time. He puts sunglasses on Cena and Cena asks who wears sunglasses indoors. Cena is up next.

Here’s Cena who says Happy Labor Day. This is just for talking and I don’t think there’s a main event match set up yet. Cena wants to get his hands on Alberto but the champ keeps ducking him. We get a Tattoo from Fantasy Island reference which makes sense when you think about Ricardo being about two feet shorter. Here’s Alberto in a car which Cena thinks he doesn’t know the name of.

Del Rio talks about how he’s trying to protect Cena. However, he can’t say that about these guys, and here are Barrett and Swagger. Ziggler joins in also and here’s Christian to make it 4-1. Alex Riley and Sheamus come out as does Morrison, running along the railing as he comes. I think I smell an 8 man tag. Teddy comes out and says he has some authority when necessary around here. You know the drill here but in a little twist, this is under elimination rules ala Survivor Series. That helps a bit. The bell is after a break.

John Cena/Sheamus/Alex Riley/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian/Wade Barrett/Jack Swagger

Survivor Series rules remember. The match is in progress as we come back with Barrett vs. Riley and no eliminations so far. Barrett hits a Boss Man Slam for two. We came back at 10:53 so this is going to go fast probably. Riley manages to send Barrett into the corner and it’s off to Morrison and Ziggler. Morrison takes down the entire heel team and avoids a rollup. Christian comes in and gets kicked in the head. Morrison’s partners have no issue with letting him get beaten down 4-1.

Swagger tags in and we get a double submission attempt. With ZERO help from his partners, Morrison has to tap out. Here’s Vickie with Swagger looking at her. We take after less than three minutes. Back with Ziggler hammering away on Riley with no extra eliminations during the break. Riley fights back and hits that sweet spinebuster of his. And never mind as he walks into a Fameasser for two.

Swagger tags himself in again and gets in an argument with Ziggler. Riley rolls through the ankle lock but gets caught by a Vader Bomb and is put right back into it for Swagger’s second submission of the match, making it 4-2. Sheamus is in now and gets his head kicked off by Barrett.

That only gets two and Sheamus wakes up to pound away on Barrett like the true brawler he is. Top rope shoulder block hits and Sheamus pops Ziggler to break up interference. Brogue Kick misses but the pumphandle slam is broken up. Brogue Kick ends Barrett and here’s Christian. It’s Cena/Sheamus vs. Swagger/Christian/Ziggler at this point. Killswitch is countered and Christian is sent to the apron where he slaps Sheamus.

Old pasty chases him around the ring and knocks down Ziggler in the process. They go into the crowd for a chase scene and then up the ramp for the double countout, putting us at 2-1. Gee I wonder how this is going to end. He gets Swagger first and team heel takes over. Vickie is all smiley as Swagger beats on Cena. Cena fires back and goes into his finishing sequence.

Cena hits a double Five Knuckle Shuffle to them but walks into a side slam kind of move from Swagger. Vader Bomb hits and now Ziggler tags himself in with some nice psychology there. He walks into the AA though and it’s one on one. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Cena rolls through into the STF for the tap at 17:42.

Rating: C. Eh not bad here but so what? This doesn’t advance Cena vs. Del Rio or anything which is something that we’re desperately needing at this point. I’m really getting tired of these pretty pointless tag team main events though as they’re not getting us anywhere, especially when it comes to the world title match.

Del Rio runs in, takes an AA and is right back out again. Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one at all. It felt like a throwaway show and that’s not good this close to NOC. Alberto vs. Cena feels like it has zero attention to it while HHH vs. Punk is being pushed to the moon to try to stop the feeling that it’s being used way too early. The problem with NOC is there really are no stories needed for most of these matches and it’s showing here as there’s no reason to have a lot of the matches and a lot of people will be left off the show. Bad Raw tonight and I wasn’t impressed at all for the most part.

Results

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali – Shooting Star Press to Mahal

Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam

CM Punk b. R-Truth – GTS

Jerry Lawler/Zack Ryder b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Rough Ryder to Otunga

Randy Orton b. Heath Slater – RKO

John Cena/Alex Riley/Sheamus/John Morrison b. Christian/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Wade Barrett – Cena last eliminated Swagger with the STF to win