NXT
Date: April 26, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Somehow this is two months old already.  Two months.  How in the world has it only been two months?  Anyway, we’re done with the draft now so it’s time to focus on the real important thing tonight: NXT!!!  Please, someone tell me there’s an elimination coming soon.  I can’t take these six guys on the show for another month.  Let’s get to it.

Maryse and Striker bring out the rookies and pros.  It’s time to play How Well Do You Know Your Pro.  This is the game where the teams are given a question and have to match their answers.  Is there a reason why the games are always the same and they NEVER come up with anything else?

First question is what is the one thing your rookie does better than any other rookie.  Byron says he speaks better, Tatsu says just wrestle.  Nice knowing you Yoshi.  Connor, with mutton chops, says punish people, Kozlov says fire up.  Young says he doesn’t care what Chavo said and that he thinks he’s a better wrestler than Chavo.  Chavo’s card says wrestle but it’s not a match.  Novak says he makes it look good, JTG says fly, which is apparently a match.  Cannon says this is about him, Kidd says best attire.  Titus says connect with the WWE Universe, Horny says bark.  Novak is the only one with a point.

Question two is if you can’t be a superstar, you should be what.  Regal talks about other jobs he used to have, such as working as a bouncer and wringing out sponges for a one armed window cleaner.  Byron says news reporter and is wrong as I didn’t see the card.  Conor says fighter, Vlad says firefighter which isn’t a match.  Young says he doesn’t care and Chavo says tax man.  Since when does Chavo wear glasses?

Novak says there is no answer because he will be the next breakout star.  JTG thinks hip hop MC.  Cannon wants to know how many times Maryse threw up in her mouth after kissing Yoshi but Kidd says fashion designer.  O’Neil says dogcatcher, Horny says bodyguard.  This ate up ten minutes and managed to make this show even weaker.  Regal again saves it, saying he understands why Cole left this show.  Novak wins with the only correct answer out of ten total.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Young is being all aggressive to start and we hit the floor with Young in control.  Darren and Chavo are a weird pairing as they’re kind of both heels and yet they’re feuding.  Horny plays cheerleader to get Titus out of a chinlock.  Big old sideslam gets two.  Titus has beaten Young twice this season already so this is billed as a rivalry.  We’re in North Carolina so Young throws on a Figure Four.  Chavo won’t help him though so Young walks into a Low Down to end this at approximately 3:30.  My feed messed up so I missed a few parts but the match couldn’t have been longer than four minutes.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Titus continues to be pushed to the moon.  Ok maybe to outer space as I don’t think you can get to the moon from NXT.  Young arguing with Chavo is a nice little touch as it gives you a reason to pay attention to them, which is fine as Young is probably the best all around of these six.  Having a talented pro helps a lot too so they’re probably the best pairing.

Jacob Novak/JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian

The idea of putting a weak guy with a good guy is foreign on this show isn’t it?  Novak calls out Regal again as maybe my previous statement should be retracted.  Novak says Rega’s career is over which makes Regal stand up.  Regal says he’s over 40 and has lived 1000 lifetimes.  However, if Novak thinks he’s going to let a Muppet like Novak tell him what he’s going to do, Novak is crazy.  Regal wants a match RIGHT NOW.  Novak of course says no because he’s in the tag match but he’ll take on Regal next week.  I guess the big brawl of a feud is penciled in.

Novak and Kozlov start us off as Regal is eerily calm.  O’Brian and Kozlov send Novak to the floor as we take a break.  Regal calls JTG a waste of space and one of the worst people in the WWE.  Preach it brother man.  Back with JTG hitting a clothesline for two on O’Brian.  O’Brian fights back but stops to hit Novak like a good man but JTG takes over again.  Novak hammers on him a bit as Regal talks about lighting Novak on fire in the middle of winter and using his burning flesh to warm his hands.  Vince….about that offer for help for any employee…

The rookies hit the mat as we hear about how impressive Novak has been lately.  Regal takes credit for that which is saying a lot as I’ve become more and more bored by him week in and week out.  Naturally the two guys that are joined at the hop this season get to work the majority of the match.  O’Brian gets a DDT to break the momentum and it’s off to Vlad.  JTG gets involved and everything breaks down.  Novak fights off a double team and hits a big boot to O’Brian to end this at 6:45.

Rating: D+. I know this is getting into a good bit of personal bias, but I do not care about these two anymore.  Novak is trying with the whole Regal thing but it’s nothing.  If they let Novak go over Regal it’ll help him a bit but at the end of the day, Novak and O’Brian have no point being here and yet they’re never thrown off and are even brought back.  I don’t get it at all.  Match was just kind of there anyway.

Raw ReBound recaps the Draft of course.

Someone has destroyed Maryse’s purse so she rants to Tatsu in French.  She blames Lucky and goes off to check on her shoes.  Tatsu comes up to Saxton and asks if he’s seen Lucky.  Saxton gets annoyed with Tatsu not being his pro and says Tatsu can come to the ring for his match with Cannon.  Good to see Saxton showing some serious nature.

Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon

Saxton takes over to start as we hit the floor.  The crowd is SILENT.  Do you know how hard it is to kill fans in North freaking Carolina???  Big boot gets two for Cannon.  Triangle choke by Cannon gets him nowhere.  We hit the chinlock as Todd talks about Tatsu and Kidd going to Smackdown along with Regal, meaning they can hang out together.  Regal goes into a rather depressing speech about having no friends.  Grisham says the two of them get along.  Regal says in total deadpan that they don’t.  This was almost saddening.

Saxton makes his comeback and gets two off a shot from the middle rope.  Rollup gets the same.  We reference Gorgeous George and Chanel #10.  Kidd breaks up a pin attempt so Yoshi takes him out.  Cannon takes out Yoshi so he can tell Maryse he had nothing to do with this.  Yoshi comes in for the DQ at 5:44.  Saxton beats up Yoshi and gets beaten up by Cannon post match.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but this was more or less the Maryse match rather than Cannon vs. Saxton.  That being said, it’s hardly a bad thing as she’s far more interesting and charismatic than both of them.  Match was only there to set up the finish which is ok, but it gets annoying after awhile.

Maryse might be impressed by Cannon.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  They seem like they’re just going in circles at this point with nothing at all coming to help this show.  O’Brian needs to go as he has nothing going on at all.  Even Novak has something to do here.  Still no mention of an elimination as I really think it’s going to be one winner and no eliminations throughout the season.  It’s never been this far into a season without one so maybe that’s what they’re going with.  Anyway, bad show here but there are at least some stories coming together, which would help this show a lot.

Results

Jacob Novak won the How Well Do You Know Your Pro Challenge

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Sitout Spinebuster

JTG/Jacob Novak b. Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov – Big boot to O’Brian

Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton via DQ when Yoshi Tatsu interfered

Here’s the final results. Is there a reason why the midcard champions are on the same show?

TO RAW
* Jack Swagger
* Kelly Kelly
* JTG
* Drew McIntyre
* Curt Hawkins
* Chris Masters
* Kofi Kingston
* Tyler Reks
* Beth Phoenix
* Rey Mysterio
* The Big Show
* Alberto Del Rio
* John Cena

TO SMACKDOWN
* Daniel Bryan
* The Great Khali (w/Ranjin Singh)
* Jimmy Uso
* Alicia Fox
* William Regal
* Yoshi Tatsu
* Natalya
* Jey Uso
* Ted DiBiase
* Tyson Kidd
* Tamina
* Alex Riley
* US Champion Sheamus
* John Cena (later drafted back)
* Randy Orton
* Mark Henry
* Sin Cara

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the Draft and also the go home show before Extreme Rules.  The changes tonight don’t go into effect until after the PPV so the matches there are set in stone.  What it does mean though is that we could see a changing of some of the shows various titles are on which could help spice things up a bit.  This is usually fun and is being moved to this date due to Edge’s retirement, which is definitely a good thing as Smackdown is very low on star power right now.  Let’s get to it.

During Tough Enough we saw the Raw midcard coming into the ring for a 20 man battle royal with the winning brand getting the first pick.

Battle Royal

This is in progress as we start.  More or less imagine anyone in the midcard or upper midcard on either show and they’re in this.  There are 20 men in this with guys like Kane, Show, Bourne, Sheamus, Corre, DiBiase, Tatsu, Clay, Henry etc.  Three or four guys put Kane out.  Show fights Khali for a bit to a nice reaction.  These matches are always hard to call and this is no exception.  A bunch of Smackdown guys put out Khali.

Sheamus tries to dump Barrett but can’t get him.  Clay is walking around looking like he wants lunch.  Only two eliminations so far that I can tell.  Drew almost gets Bryan out but DiBiase saves.  If I understand this right any amount of people can win for a team, as in if there are three Smackdown guys left in the end the match ends.  Kozlov is out.  Show beats down Sheamus as Henry puts Big Zeke out.  The team dynamic here is kind of cool.

Slater is gone as is Masters.  Raw has a slight advantage now.  Barrett is gone as Raw takes over.  Did Ted DiBiase just put Barrett out?  Wow indeed.  There goes DiBiase.  Henry and Clay go out at the same time.  It looks like it’s 6-4 with Raw ahead but Tatsu goes out to make it 5-4.  Sheamus can’t put Rhodes out.  For Raw it’s Sheamus, Bourne, Daniel Bryan, Mason Ryan and Santino.  For the blue guys it’s Rhodes, Kofi, Drew and Show.  Drew puts Sheamus out as we take a break.

Back with no changes.  Bryan gets crushed by Show as Bourne puts McIntyre out.  Kofi comes off the top on Ryan but misses completely.  Santino goes to the apron and tries the Cobra on Show.  Show casually grabs it and hits Santino with his own move.  Bryan and Rhodes go out as we’re down to Mason Ryan and Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston and Big Show.  Size vs. size and speed vs. speed.  Kofi goes to the apron and we get an awesome sequence with Bourne hanging off the apron and sliding back in while Kofi jumps back in.

Bourne is put on the top but jumps at Show, only to be thrown out with ease.  The double teaming begins and a pendulum kick sends Ryan into Show who tosses him to earn the blue show the first pick at 13:40 since the show came on the air.  Best time guess I can give you there guys.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was just ok.  The ending sequence with Kofi and Evan was awesome and the right team won.  I’d bet on this being the big star pick that they need or they’ll save it until the end.  Either way not bad here but just a battle royal which isn’t something that is very good most of the time.

To Smackdown: JOHN CENA!!!  Cena comes out on the stage in the blue shirt as I’m stunned.  Raw belongs to Orton I guess.

We get the recap video of Morrison and Truth which is made out to be something Biblical almost.

Here’s Truth to no music and he says Raleigh, North Carolina…..SHUT UP!  Tonight is all about you, meaning the fans.  They do the WHAT chant and Truth gets annoyed.  He blames the fans for his failure because they goaded him into it and says the fans haven’t gotten him anywhere over the years.

Truth says the fans need rhythm and to get in tune for his singing and dancing.  He talks to an imaginary fan named Little Jimmy who he apparently made happy by singing What’s Up.  The kid singing doesn’t make him a champion either so Little Jimmy can SHUT UP.  He’s giving the fans the boot tonight and is done with them.  When he let go all of the frustration and anger if felt MARVELOUS (he screamed it, not me)!  For the first time the Truth has set him free.

Morrison jumps Truth and the referees come out for the pull apart.  Morrison breaks free and charges Truth who he leaves laying as we take a break.

Rock is here next week which is his birthday.

Another video of what will be Awesome Kong and we see her face.  The world Kharma pops up on the screen.

Eve Torres vs. Layla

Well the people in this one look better than they did in the first match.  Michelle comes out after Layla and is pretty ticked off here.  Eve gets a very quick Downward Spiral for two.  Layla comes over to Michelle and swings at her as Cole interrupts again.  Eve wins with a rollup at 40 seconds.

Cole is talking about his training regimen and says that Mr. Wrestlemania has left ringside.

Layla DESTROYS Michelle post match and cries, shouting that she’s sick of this.  Michelle goes onto the announce table as Layla is bawling.

To Raw: Rey Mysterio.  Well that’s a change of pace for him.

JR is warming up.  Trish wishes she jiggled that much.

Cody Rhodes talks

about giving Rey a new mask, as in the kind that you get in a hospital.  This is another of those creepy Cody promos that get better and better every time.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes over early and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two.  After that chickenwing Sheamus uses he gets sent into the post to shift momentum.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Next week will be Raw and Smackdown combined again apparently.  High Cross misses as does the Brogue Kick but a pair of Trouble in Paradises ends this at 2:34.  Quick match and nothing to rate at all.

To Smackdown: Randy Orton.  My jaw literally dropped on that one.

Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross

Booker T is on commentary now which I believe is the 9^th consecutive week that the announce team has changed during the show.  Lawler gets up to be in JR’s corner.  Ross is in dress pants and an Oklahoma football jersey.  The seconds are on the apron instead of the floor.  Cole makes fun or Ross’ weight and they circle each other a lot.  A minute in and we’ve had no contact.

Cole, in his orange singlet, dances around a lot as Ross throws right hands.  Cole hits the floor as we’ve had no serious contact after two minutes.  Cole puts JR’s hat on then takes it off and stomps on it.  Cole has a lot of tattoos.  Swagger towels Cole off and he does some pushups.  We’ve now reached the length of Sheamus vs. Kofi with no contact yet.  Ross finally grabs Cole and shoves him down.

Cole calls for timeout and Swagger puts a stool in the corner.  There’s a spit bucket and water.  Cole actually tries to slam him so Ross hammers on him with some ground and…..with some ground and……no I just can’t say it.  Cole tries to run and Lawler throws him back in.  Swagger takes down Cole and then comes in for the DQ at 4:35.

Rating: F-. Oh just…..no.  We get it: Cole is a jerk that everyone hates.  This needs to END.  It’s played beyond belief and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to keep going after Extreme Rules.

Cole shouts about what Ross did to him as he has a bloody lip.  He gets a belt off JR I think and whips Ross with it.  Lawler comes in for the save and the heels run.  An E-Mail makes the match on Sunday a country whipping (strap) match.  Someone got busted legit in that as there’s a bunch of blood on Ross’ cheek.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

This is for two picks.  Orton takes over for a bit until Ziggler comes back with a crossface chickenwing as the Backlundmania is spreading.  Orton fights back as they seem to botch something with Ziggler going to the floor.  Dropkick sends Orton into the front row and it’s not a countout of course.  Orton’s new beard won’t let that happen.  Randy comes back in and hits what is supposed to be a Thesz Press and hammers away.  Angle Slam gets two.  He loads up the RKO and despite Vickie interfering we’re done at 3:20 to send two more people to Fridays.  Good grief that’s a ton.

Rating: C+. This was short but they fit a lot in there.  It was a pretty good job of getting a very quick match that made sense which is hard to do with just over three minutes.  The ending was pretty obvious when Ziggler got no entrance at all and now looks like Evan Bourne’s cousin.  Not bad but WAY too short.

We start the Draft wheel again but Punk cuts it off.  He talks about beating Orton in the last man standing match this Sunday.  Orton says he’ll be glad to be gone from Raw so he won’t have to deal with Punk anymore.  This Sunday he’ll be the last man standing.  Now for the picks.  Ok never mind as they’re after the break.

To Smackdown: Mark Henry and Sin Cara.  Henry still has a job?  Cara is good because they can edit his matches to make them a bit less sloppy which will help him a lot I think.

Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio

Barrett gets kicked in the leg to start but a Boss Man Slam gets two.  Off to a bow and arrow as Rey is in trouble early on.  Rey gets a springboard cross body for two.  Into the corner as I love that evil smile Barrett has.  Rey knocks him down and gets a headscissors to set up the 619 and top rope splash to end this at 2:30.  Just like the previous match: short but they got some stuff in there.

To Raw: Big Show and Alberto Del Rio.  Show is pointless as he can go from show to show with his tag title.  Alberto changes the whole world title picture though.  In the back Alberto is mad and Clay wants to know what happens to him but is sent away.

After we run down the card, Teddy introduces the main event which is for the final draft pick.

CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian

The match starts after the break.  There’s going to be a supplemental draft tomorrow at noon.  That’s always fun.  Josh says this is the final time for Cena on Raw.  Assuming that draft picks stays, that’s absolutely laughable since they said next week is going to have guys from Raw and Smackdown on it already.  Christian vs. Miz to start us off.  Off to Cena and Miz runs off.  We actually take ANOTHER break as this is ridiculous.  Vince must need a new plane with this many commercials tonight.

Back with Cena cleaning house with a dropkick to Punk and it’s off to Henry.  After he stands on Punk a bit Christian comes in but the clapping gets him in trouble.  Avoid the clap dude.  Punk gets a big kick to take him down and it’s off to Del Rio. He works on the shoulder a bit and it’s off to Miz.  Lots of tagging in this match so far.  More arm work follows including a Codebreaker to the arm for two.

After Christian plays Ricky Morton for a bit (does that make Edge Robert Gibson somehow?) he manages to pull off a tornado DDT to Del Rio and it’s hot tag to Cena.  Miz comes in also and Cena hammers on the champion.  Protoplex puts him down but Henry takes Cena down with a shoulder block.  He picks Christian up in a press slam and throws him into the steps and the Skull Crushing Finale ends Cena.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here with nothing of note to it.  I think we all knew Raw would win here as they more or less had no other option.  Henry turning isn’t anything of note at all as he’s boring beyond belief for the most part anymore.  Not much here but a decent ending I guess.

To Raw: John Cena.  Yeah we knew it was coming.

Cena cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well for overall shock value this certainly worked.  Cena and Orton both going had my jaw dropping.  The wrestling itself though….not so much.  The Cole/Ross thing was just annoying as it has been for weeks now.  The total focus on the main event save for a few picks is rather annoying stuff but that’s par for the course here.  Pretty weak Draft but it gave Smackdown more than the boost it needed, which is the point of the show.  The ending was a bit predictable but that’s fine as the initial shock was great.  Not the worst show but nothing great at all.

Results

Team Smackdown won a battle royal – Big Show last eliminated Mason Ryan

Eve Torres b. Layla – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Trouble in Paradise

Jim Ross b. Michael Cole via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Rey Mysterio b. Wade Barrett – Top rope splash

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/CM Punk b. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian – Skull Crushing Finale to Cena

In Your House 7: Good Friends, Better Enemies
Date: April 28, 1996
Location: Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
Attendance: 9,563

So Wrestlemania has come and gone, and of course the big deal is that Shawn Michaels, the undisputed king of the midcard has broken through the glass ceiling and defeated Bret Hart to become the world champion, ushering in the new era of the company. No one knew what that era was, but I guarantee you no one knew about the juggernaut that was about to steamroll both Vince and the WWF that July when the NWO would form.

Shawn would continue to be the face of the company until around November when a new star would emerge. Little did the company know (whenever I type that I always hear the voice from Stranger Than Fiction which always creeps me out) that by putting the title on Shawn, they ultimately made the move that would save them in the long run, but I’ll remain cryptic and explain that concept for later on for those of you that don’t get the historical aspect which would be impressive as it’s very indirect.

Anyway, as for tonight, the title of our show refers to Shawn and Diesel, who are going to have their big match that would end their feud once and for all: a No Holds Barred match for the title. The most important thing about tonight though was very simple: it was Hall and Nash’s last televised appearances with the company.

These departures, the so called Curtain Call incident, next months’ In Your House, and Bash at the Beach which was held in July of that year, are four nights that shaped the business as a whole and may be four of the 5 nights that are the reason the WWE won the Monday Night Wars. Explanations coming later including one in this review, but for now let’s start the show! Oh yeah and Foley is here now also.

Standard recap video package to open as it once again tries to play this off as equal to Mania but no one really buys that. No one gave Diesel a chance as no one believed that Shawn was going to lose in his first title defense. It was simply not going to happen after the amount of time and effort he had put into his buildup.

Diesel had turned on him at a house show which prompted Shawn to say what the company tried to build up as a famous line “I’m going to kick his 7ft face.” Yeah that really isn’t that famous. Time for the first match.

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

This is kind of a rematch from Mania, minus Vader and Yoko per team. The whole showdown with Vader and Yoko never happened as someone woke up and realized that match would just bomb so they turned it into a 6 man by adding these guys. Owen and Bulldog were by far and away the best tag team around this time but they didn’t get the tag titles until September and they held them until May which was some kind of a record or something that I don’t feel like looking up right now.

They were kind of emulating the original Hart Foundation with the power/speed and while it wasn’t as effective, it was good enough to dominate the tag division for about 9 months. Anyway, here we go in a rather pointless tag match.

We get a pre match interview from Jake but Vince of course cuts off one of the best promo men of all time to push some stupid story, as Vince has to be the center of attention. Before the match, Cornette’s annoying lawyer has a court order banning Jake’s snake from being used. Jake of course rips it up and throws the snake on the heels. Why is it that every heel has a horrible fear of snakes? WWE needs a psychologist on staff to help deal with this.

Apparently Johnson was a surprise partner, even though he was Jake’s partner last month. Part of the story is that Bulldog is worried he’s not as strong as Johnson based on arm wrestling or something. Oh and he broke Johnson’s thumb. So far this is a pretty formula based match with Jake and Owen doing most of the heavy lifting. Whenever Johnson is in, Bulldog runs to tag in Owen to avoid the confrontation.

Johnson is over as we have a very hot crowd. Johnson somehow botches a clothesline. That’s like the most simplistic move of all time. DONALD FREAKING TRUMP did a decent one. Apparently this was supposed to be Bulldog vs. Jake. Vince of course says Owen would be nothing without Bret, even though Bret wouldn’t be around for about 6 months at this point.

Jake is in the ring far more than Johnson as the company knew that Ahmed just flat out sucked in the ring but he was over and had a great look. We go to the rest holds as you can tell this isn’t going to be over anytime soon. This should sum up things very well for you: Jake is in the ring for about seven minutes straight, taking most of the offense.

He finally makes the tag to Ahmed, and Johnson is literally in the ring 30 seconds before tagging back out. That’s how much faith they had in him. Ending comes when everyone is brawling and Bulldog hits Jake in the knee with Cornette’s tennis racket a few times and puts him in a leg lock for the submission.

Rating: C. This isn’t a bad match. Ahmed had no business being on live PPV, but it’s not bad. It was decent for an opener and that’s about all you can ask for here. Jake shows he still has it and he would get a decent little push in the next few months. Nothing special really, but just a little something to keep the fans happy.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Goldust

Yes that Ultimate Warrior and that Goldust had a match. Warrior had made a return at Mania, squashing HHH in less than two minutes and taking a Pedigree, yet being on his feet before HHH was. Goldust is accompanied by Marlena, who was supposed to be really sexy I guess, but she never did it for me at all.

He’s also accompanied by his bodyguard Brusier Mastino. Earlier tonight….wait a second. Brusier Mastino? That’s the name that Kane used when he was a jobber in WCW back in the early 90s. That’s clearly not Kane here as he was playing Isaac Yankem at the time. What the heck? Why use the name of a guy that did absolutely nothing in WCW as a character here?

According to Wikipedia, the man with Goldust is the same one that played Mantaur a year ago. Huh? That’s really weird. Anyway, earlier tonight, Warrior was giving an interview when Marlena blew cigar smoke in his face and Goldust threw gold dust into his eyes. Why would you want to tick him off? GOldust ran away and fell, apparently hurting his knee. Goldust is coming off a mini feud with Savio, and McMahon says that he hopes that feud isn’t over. What is Vince on anyway?

The music hits, the crowd pops, Vince screams, and Warrior jogs to the ring. The massive pyro display is kind of a cool touch for him. We haven’t started the match yet and Lawler is up to two movie references. Make that three, and there’s the bell. Goldust starts our epic showdown by hobbling to the back and apparently leaving.

Then, in something you can tell Vince is furious over, the Warrior picks up Marlena’s cigar from the aisle and starts smoking it. The fans have no idea what to think of this, especially after those Warrior PSAs from the late 80s about not smoking.

Movie reference #5 by King. The bodyguard leaves as Warrior gets Marlena’s director’s chair and sits it in the middle of the ring. Mastino comes back with Goldust and Marlena, screaming “HE’S GOT THE CHAIR!!!”, like it’s the end of the world or something. As Lawler makes his seventh movie reference, Warrior is sitting in the chair, smoking the cigar, as the trio leaves to Lawler’s ninth movie title joke.

Warrior keeps messing with his hair as Lawler calls him a Rebel Without a Clue for number 10. Goldust gets on the mic to say something but the fans boo him. He threatens to come out there and kiss every person if they don’t shut up as this continues to be the weirdest match of all time and we haven’t even started yet. Number thirteen hits as Goldust and Marlena get into the ring, while the cameraman keeps getting shots of her back.

Warrior holds up Goldust’s robe like a bullfighter. Warrior gives Marelena her cigar back which she pops right into her mouth like it’s no big deal at all. In what takes another full minute, Warrior gives Goldust his robe back, accompanied by the fifteenth movie pun by Lawler. I know you might be getting sick of my counting them, but seriously, they’re the most entertaining thing going on right now.

This is at 10 minutes and counting so far and they haven’t even touched each other. Apparently Goldust being outside the ring for seven minutes isn’t enough for a countout either. McMahon says Warrior will do whatever it takes to get the match started. I’m not even going to acknowledge that with a joke or an insult. Goldust sits in the chair and rubs his chest as Marlena…does something.

Even Vince is sick of the jokes at #18. Warrior takes the cigar again and puffs away as King is starting to repeat jokes. Vince asks what everyone is wondering: what is going on? Goldust sticks out his hand which Warrior puts the cigar into before clotheslining him to the floor. Goldust walks to the back for the count out. Are you kidding me? THAT’S IT? The bodyguard takes some clotheslines and a slam as Warrior is announced as the winner.

Vince and Lawler both say something to the effect of the winner of what contest? There was a match here? Post match, Lawler breaks into the twenties in jokes as Warrior puts Goldust’s wig on with the bodyguard’s hat over top of that and climbs the ropes to end this.

Rating: G-. This is so bad it’s below an F. This went on nearly 15 minutes and the contact between the two was a cigar to the hand and a clothesline. The crowd was on fire before the “match” and then we get this? This is why Warrior is blacklisted in wrestling forever. Not this particular thing, but the full thing of shenanigans like this. This was a total waste of time, there was no match, and the fans had no idea what was going on. Easily the worst segment of all time.

We cut to the back to see Bulldog FREAKING out about something as he tries desperately to get into Shawn’s dressing room, saying something about his wife Diana. This turned out to be the start of Shawn’s next storyline and his first real feud. The story would go on to be that allegedly Shawn either hit on or attempted to rape Diana backstage, which would turn out to be false and just a way to get Bulldog a title shot. This would lead to a match at the next In Your House.

We come back to the arena with Warrior’s music still playing and you can see that Vince is ticked at what just happened in the “match.” Vince attempts to play off his anger by saying that he’s mad that Goldust was such a coward. While that’s at least somewhat plausible for the time being, knowing that Vince was the boss the whole time makes it laughable. As he and King talk, apparently, IT’S TIME, IT’S TIME, IT’S VADER TIME!!!

Vader vs. Razor Ramon

And it’s official: Razor is jobbing on his way out. Since no one knew he was leaving though, this wasn’t a given domination by Vader at the time. This is an interesting pairing here, as Razor usually does a lot of power moves but in this case, he’s having to do more hit and run stuff.

His size makes this plausible though, so it’s an interesting match. Vader of course dominates most of the match with Razor getting in some shots here and there, but ultimately getting knocked right back down by Vader. In an odd scene, Razor kicks out of the Vader Bomb. Razor amazes me by hitting a standard suplex on Vader after ten minutes have gone by. The more I see of his stuff, the more Razor impresses me.

Razor hits his big man finisher with the second rope bulldog but that doesn’t work. He almost gets Vader in the Razor’s Edge following a missed Vader Bomb but he can’t do it. He does however hit an electric chair drop on him which is quite impressive. Finish sees Razor set him for the Edge but getting backdropped and Vader just sits on his chest for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a very solid match. Razor made Vader look like a million bucks here, just like he should have. Razor’s last night would be three weeks away, but for all intents and purposes he was done after this match. Vader was going to be the top heel over the summer as he would eventually challenge Shawn for the title at Summerslam. I think Vince knew what he had with Vader, but Vader was too much of a business risk with how insane he was.

After the match, Doc Hendrix shows up and says that President Monsoon has determined that based on Vader’s victory here, he’ll be on the next In Your House, facing Yoko. Vader had injured Yoko on Raw by breaking his leg, resulting in a very funny scene where they had to bring a forklift to carry Yoko out of the arena, but apparently it has healed.

Cornette goes into one of his legendary rants, talking about how Yoko is a dead man. He says that Razor is the example of what Vader does to people in the ring. Razor came into this match as a handsome man and left looking like Margot Kidder.

For those of you that don’t know, that’s the woman that played Lois Lane in the Superman movies. What that has to do with anything is beyond me, but it’s Cornette doing what he does best: ranting and raving like a crazy man.

Tag Titles: Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

Ok, there’s actually a somewhat lengthy backstory here. The Smoking Guns had vacated the tag titles because Billy hurt his neck, leading to a tag title tournament. The finals were held on the preshow of Mania 12. Prior to that, Sunny, the Bodydonnas manager and the woman that I think was most of our first fantasies, won the Slammy for best buns.

At the end of the match, Phineas had the match won and Sunny allegedly flashes him, which is stupid because you can clearly see she’s covered up, but man it was 1996 so it was shocking at the time. This led to the Godwinns losing the match.

This is the rematch, but earlier in the night, once again on the preshow, the cameras saw Phineas and Sunny off in the back of the building and Sunny flashes her chest at him. Another thing, the Godwinns have comical nicknames. Henry O. Godwinn (HOG) and Phineas I. Godwinn (PIG). They have Hillbilly Jim as a manager now, meaning they can use his old music, Don’t Go Messin With a Country Boy, meaning they get huge pops.

We cut to the back where Mr. Perfect, absolutely rocking the suit he’s in, is with Sunny and the champions. Sunny, looking instant orgasm hot, says that she showed PIG a thing or two and hits on Perfect, before saying that tonight the Donnas are going to outwrestle them. Perfect has a great line by saying that Sunny certainly has the greatest, most amazing pair of…….tag team wrestlers he’s seen in quite some time.

Ok it was funnier when he said it.

Anyway, on with the match. Of course, we have the biggest sex symbol in the history of the company on the way to the ring so we stay on a wide shot of the crowd the whole duration of their entrance. This is another standard though not bad tag match which really is a tale of two halves: to begin with the Godwinns just beat the living tar out of the champions before PIG gets beaten down in the other corner.

This is what you would expect from two such teams. The big guys overpower the smaller ones as the smaller heels do what they can to hang in there until they finally get the advantage. This eventually leads to the power guys making their comeback. Anyway, that eventually happens and Sunny runs to the back, drawing all the attention with her. She returns with a signed photo of herself, autographed to Phineas.

This distracts him as Jim is about to throw the slop onto Sunny. In the ring, Henry hits the reverse DDT on one of them, but he’s distracted by what’s going on outside. The BodyDonnas switch and Henry gets rolled up for the pin. After the match, the losers console their love struck partner, but as they leave he hides the picture in his overalls.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a bad match. It was standard formula stuff which is what most good tag matches are. The main focus was on Sunny which makes sense as she was the biggest star of all these people. There were some great theme-based tag teams back in this era and these were two of the most memorable.

We cut to the back with Mark Mero apparently ticked off at HHH over being jumped earlier tonight on the preshow. Sable is jaw droppingly hot at this point and somehow people care even less about Mero than they would later on.

Time for your main event recap. They screw up by saying No Holds Barred Championship, implying it’s a new title or something. You know what they meant, but it was written poorly. How sad is it that I rented this tape so many times that I haven’t seen this recap in years yet I know the narration word for word? You know, the build up for this is making it feel pretty epic. At the time, this was a big match as Shawn had never beaten Diesel.

Shawn promises the Kliq a party tonight no matter what. Diesel says he’s got a surprise planned. I know what it is, but I won’t spoil it for you.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

JR is an interviewer. That’s just a shame. Maurice Mad Dog Vachon is in the front row. Shawn’s entrance is cool. He throws up a hand sign, power walks down the aisle, and takes off the vest and the belt before sliding in to start the slug fest. This is very fast paced and it’s working really well. We’re a minute into this and Shawn has come off the top rope twice.

Once for a twisting moonsault and the other to hit Diesel in the head with the boot he stole from the Spanish announcer. Diesel gets the best snake eyes I’ve ever seen as he throws Shawn up into the air to smash him down into the buckle. Diesel is just beating Shawn up at the moment but for some reason, considering it’s no holds barred, Diesel takes the tape off his wrist and chokes out the referee.

Then he whips Shawn with the referee’s belt. Diesel hangs Shawn over the ropes, which is pointless as Shawn can clearly touch the floor which would just make him uncomfortable and not unconscious. This is getting very violent. Not as bad as some of the future stuff, but at the time this was big stuff. Momentum swings when Diesel does the classic chair to the top rope spot to hit himself in the head.

Shawn is doing the Ricky Steamboat method of getting the heck beaten out of him then doing something big to win. He’s getting the tar beaten out of him and having him kick out time after time makes him look strong. Diesel was leaving so it wasn’t a big issue at all. Diesel jackknifes Shawn threw the announce table, which was a new thing at the time so there’s no joke to it. Shawn looks dead after this, and rightfully so.

Diesel goes into the ring with the title which is a nice touch. Vince screaming at Shawn to let it be over is so melodramatic it’s funny. Shawn of course doesn’t listen and is up on his feet like the true no seller he is. Shawn starts his comeback and we have no commentary which I really like. We all know Shawn’s moveset down to the letter when he’s making his comeback but it’s nice to just see it.

It gives the sequence the feeling of a house show and it’s a very nice little break from the norm. Of course Vince can’t let us have something cool for awhile without him so he’s back. He hits some of the most wicked chair shots to Diesel I’ve ever seen. These two are putting on a heck of a show out there as you can really feel like they hate each other.

While they were very close in real life, seeing them beat on each other like this is nothing but great as you can feel the natural chemistry that they share. This is great. Shawn hits the screw you elbow after a brief Diesel comeback but the kick is blocked, despite Vince screaming give it to him Shawn give it to him! Now we get the famous part of the match.

Diesel goes over to Vachon, the guy from earlier, and attacks him. He chokes him to the ground and RIPS HIS PROSTHETIC LEG OFF. I don’t care how scripted it was, that was sick. There’s nothing at all that makes you a bigger heel than that.

He attacked an old man and literally ripped his body apart. Shawn low blows him to stop him before hitting him with the leg, then hitting the chin music, after stomping loudly on the mat about 12 times. Seriously, if you hear the stomping, WHY WOULD YOU TURN AROUND? Also, the genius cameramen has the cameras on Shawn’s feet so you see Diesel fly back from the kick but not the impact of it. The pin ends the show.

Rating: A+. I absolutely loved this match when I was a kid and I still love it to this day. It had the big match feel and it never lets up. These two had mad chemistry together and this is probably their best match ever. They don’t use a ton of weapons which is what makes this good. There are indeed a few good things in there but it never overshadows things to become stupid like a hardcore match.

They use a chair, a rope, a boot (one time), and a prosthetic leg. The fire extinguisher and the table are semi weapons as it wasn’t the table that hurt but the power bomb through it, and the extinguisher is more of an annoyance than pain. Even with 6 weapons, it never gets old or boring as they’re well spaced out.

This is just a fun match and a great way to make Shawn look incredibly strong in his first title defense. People still use this as a reference for Shawn’s ability in no rules matches, and it holds up today with ease. Great match and one you should all see.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event is amazing, but the middle is killed worse than Mania 25 was by Kid Rock. It just sucks the life out of the show and it never recovers until the main event. However, I’d recommend that segment just to see how out there it is. Overall, this show is somewhere between good and bizarre.

The main event is a great match and probably somewhere on my list of favorite matches of all time, but nothing else here is really good at all. There’s some ok stuff, but nothing ever rises above that. Avoid the show, watch the main event.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,668
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the second half of our double feature I guess you’d call it. I just got done posting the Fingerpoke of Doom show. This is the Raw from the same night which of course features Mankind winning his first world title. The rest of the show is more or less forgotten and since this is my favorite moment in the history of wrestling I just wanted to do this show. Let’s get to it.

A video about the career of HBK opens the show. He had recently been fired as Commissioner by Vince so this is kind of a goodbye thing. Vince yells to cut the video, so we cut to the arena to see the Corporation coming to the ring. There is a lot of talent in there to put it mildly. Oh and Test is there too. Vince talks about how Shawn humiliated his son and if anyone does that again, they have to deal with Vince.

A live shot of Shawn coming to the arena is shown on the screen, and there’s the music. Not sure what the point of the video was since he was there seconds later. He has the cavalry with him, and it’s DX. And by that, I mean the REAL DX: HHH, X-Pac, Chyna and the Outlaws. This team with Shawn is a weird visual but cool at the same time.

According to Shawn he’s still the Commissioner because the contract is iron clad and Vince said the Commissioner answered to no one, including Vince. Shawn says the only way he leaves is if he resigns, which more or less set up the Vince makes Shawn’s life a living nightmare angle. We see a clip of Vince drawing his number for the Rumble and he wanted #2. Shawn therefore grants his wish, setting up one of the worst Rumbles of all time. He also promises Vince a surprise for later in the night, which will drive him Stone Cold Crazy.

By the way, Cole is somehow more of an annoying douche here than he is now.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Shamrock is the IC and a tag champion here but this is nontitle. Ken was in the ring for the opening segment but had a regular entrance for no apparent reason. It’s a striking contest to start with Blackman taking over. We hear about Billy Gunn feuding with Shamrock, more or less giving away the ending.

Dan Severn, in a neck brace, comes down. He used to be both UFC Champion and NWA Champion at the same time. It’s so weird hearing about UFC on WWF TV. His mustache on his own could probably win the IC Title. It’s that awesome. Dan and Shamrock were big rivals in UFC so there’s the reason. Shamrock hits his belly to belly which is more of a throw than anything else. Severn pops up on the apron and Billy Gunn runs down for a Fameasser to Shamrock, giving Blackman the pin. Predictable but fine.

Rating: N/A. Not about the match or anything as this was just for the angle. That’s perfectly fine and is a common practice in wrestling today still. Blackman was just boring to put it mildly, but he was trying at least. The Attitude Era was known for having a point to everything, and this had about three angles going at once, which is average for the time.

Gunn and Shamrock are fighting in the back.

Here comes Mankind for no apparent reason. He doesn’t have his far more famous music yet either. Foley beat up Shane last week apparently. Foley: “I swear that was the first time I’ve ever grabbed another man’s testicles.” He’s just awesome at this point with his promos as he’s a clueless putz that seems to find himself in the top feuds in the company but everyone loves him and he can back it up. It was just out there all the time, but it worked like a charm.

He wants a shot at the Rock and the Title at the Rumble. We get an I Love Lucy reference as he says that’s what the fans want. He corrects the fans by saying he’s not God but he’s good. Foley beat Rock at Rock Bottom but Vince changed the decision. Vince comes out and blames Foley for blaming the fans. He says Foley hasn’t paid his dues and no more title shots for him.

Vince makes HHH vs. Foley tonight with the winner getting a spot in the Rumble. We see a clip of Foley beating up Shane, and Shane is announced as the guest referee. I knew that before it was said. There was a hardon for guest refs around this time so it was pretty clear that was coming.

Chyna and her friend Sammy are here.

Mark Henry vs. Goldust

Henry is sexual chocolate here and wants Chyna. How weird is it that these two are still employed? Goldie is still a bit insane here unlike now when there is nothing special about his character in the slightest. Goldust goes to the legs because that’s what you do against every big man you ever fight. Just as always, it doesn’t work.

Henry more or less dominates, hitting a big elbow drop. A press slam drop ends Goldie’s comeback and here are Chyna and Sammy on the stage. This allows Goldust to hit Shattered Dreams, which is of course a DQ.

Rating: D. This was just a waste of time and did nothing but set up the angle that’s about to happen. Goldust didn’t really mean much at all and Henry was in this whole thing with Chyna. You got a lot more pointless matches like these at this time, but it was a far more angle heavy period of time.

Sammy and Chyna get in and Chyna has something to say. The other night with him was incredible, but she’s not enough woman for him. She introduces him to her friend Sammy. Chyna makes the inevitable offer, and Henry faints. I’m not sure if this ends tonight, but the payoff for this is BAD. Apparently it doesn’t but Sammy is a transvestite. Gotta love Russo!

Jesse Ventura is governor of Minnesota. That’s still insane. His line at the inauguration: “We shocked the world.” Amen. Also for you REALLY old school fans, Terry, Tyrell and Jade are here, more commonly known as his wife, son and daughter. Just in case you never got those references.

Dennis Knight (soon to be Mideon) is in a dungeon, chained to the ceiling with various metal objects hanging around and laying on the floor. Sure why not?

Godfather vs. Test

Test is in the Corporation, which would change later. He had just debuted recently before this as a hired gun. Ho Train hits and Test is in trouble. Val Venis comes out as Test hits a big boot. Godfather and Test fight on the floor and the referee just throws it out for no apparent reason. Val runs down and brawls with Test. This whole thing took like 2 minutes.

DX is talking.

Mankind vs. HHH

Winner goes to the Rumble. Shane is guest referee. HHH works on the arm as Cole is REALLY annoying already. This is going to be short. Foley hits a baseball slide to put HHH down. HHH gets a sunset flip but Foley grabs the ropes. Shane kicks his arm and makes a fast count to end it. Like I said it was short, as in like 2 minutes.

HHH apologizes but says business is business and a win is a win. To avoid thoughts of a heel turn he gives Shane a Pedigree before saying to Foley that Shane is all his. Mankind says this is something my high school coach taught me. He more or less puts Shane in an abdominal stretch while sitting down. Foley says he’ll break Shane’s shoulder if Vince and the Stooges, who have just come out (ok not in Patterson’s case but 2/3 isn’t bad), come any closer. He wants a title shot TONIGHT and makes Shane screams. Vince agrees but Foley wants No Disqualifications. It’s on, and Rock comes out to yell at Vince.

Slam of the Week is X-Pac getting kicked in the head by Bossman.

We recap what just happened.

Edge vs. D’Lo Brown

Edge has only been around about 6 months at this point and still comes through the crowd. I LOVED this guy back in the day and did for a long time. Brown and Henry have been having issues with PMS, so expect a run in here. No bell here as we just get going. Big plancha to the floor by Edge which has no effect for some reason.

Liger Bomb to Edge doesn’t get a cover as D’Lo has to play to the crowd. Very nice top rope cross body from Edge gets two. Here’s PMS as has been a theme tonight. Terri is pregnant but won’t say who the father is. D’lo accidentally knocks her to the floor and she holds her stomach. This would result in Brown being their slave more or less. I hated this stable, as did most people. The match just ends.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match as Brown was always solid in the ring and Edge was AWESOME when he debuted. This was a great pairing and I’d love to see them go at it again. And then we have to do a lost baby angle which was one of Russo’s favorites. It turned out that Terri was never pregnant of course.

Kane comes out with Shane, Bearer and the Stooges. He’s in the Corporation as well but doesn’t seem happy about it. Kane has a sign on his back for the Brisco Brothers’ Body Shop. Shane says this is a handicap match against the Stooges. Wait what?

Gerald Brisco/Pat Patterson vs. Kane

Vince comes out again and says this is because the Stooges were partially responsible for Shane getting hurt last week. Patterson tries to bribe Kane with what he has in his pocket: a cigarette and a condom. Would anyone else like to just watch Patterson go about his daily life? Chokeslam for Brisco. Patterson gets a chair but Kane sees him. Shane is in the ring with a mic and egging Kane on which is funny stuff. Kane PUNTS the chair off the mat and over the top. That was rather impressive looking actually. Kane grabs Shane by the throat but Vince says Kane will go back, meaning to an insane asylum. Not even a match.

Dennis Knight is still in the dungeon. The Acolytes come in and say “he’s ready for you.” Knight is more scared by this. The he is Undertaker and Knight would become Mideon in a FREAKY ceremony the next week.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Road Dogg

Snow is the challenger and wearing a shirt covered in “blood” from a bloodbath from the Brood. Snow hides behind the curtain and we fight on the stage. The Hardcore Title was actually a coveted title at this point and not a joke. It’s very violent very early as Snow is dominating. He hits a moonsault off the barricade but Road Dogg moves, sending Snow through a table.

Big old cookie sheet (why are those under wrestling rings or in arenas ever?) gets two. They head up the ramp and off to the side towards the back. Dogg goes up a set of steps and does a flying leap to take Snow down with a double axehandle. We’re in a supply closet now or something and various stupid things are used as weapons.

They find a cart of potted plants to throw at each other. This is more intense than it sounds. Snow gets a steel pole and does some nice spinning and flipping (there’s a proper term for it but I can’t think of it. Think of a drill team) with it before driving it into Roadie. They go outside into the snow. Keep in mind this is Massachusetts in early January so it’s FREEZING.

Snow gets put in a wheelbarrow or something and shoved into a wall. The referee can’t stand up in the snow which is kind of funny. A piledriver on a wooden pallet pins Snow so Road Dogg retains (Cole of course says he won the title because Michael Cole is an idiotic douche).

Rating: B. Keep in mind this was a hardcore match and not a regular match when thinking about that grade. This was actually quite good and worked rather well. Road Dogg was cleaning up his real life a lot around this time and got off of drugs and stopped drinking for the most part and his in ring work went WAY up as a result. The push was kind of a reward for it and he would get the IC Title in two months. This was one of the better Hardcore Title matches I remember actually.

Dennis Knight is thrown through a door.

The Corporation jumps Shawn and beats the living tar out of him, throwing him into the window of a car. That’s all in theory that is as the cameraman was knocked down and we heard glass breaking. When we come back Shawn is bloody and in the windshield.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. The Rock

This is No DQ remember. This is the match that Tony Schiavone gave the ending away to on their show, shifting the ratings for the night because of it. DX comes out to back up Foley, because they couldn’t go to the hospital with Shawn or help defend him right? Rock of course has the Corporation with him.

Rock jumps him immediately and knocks him to the floor. He won’t let the Corporation beat them up because he wants to do it himself. How noble of our heel champion. Foley does his first sick bump of the match as he goes knee first into the steps and flies over them in a painful looking shot. These two always had mad chemistry together, which is something that could be said about most guys with Rock actually.

Rock does commentary during the match, which always cracked me up. He talks a bit too much though so Foley takes over. Foley does a promo of his own and we cut to a shot of Vince and Shane, but we hear a bell ring. Foley is down and Rock has the bell. Subtle. Rock Bottom through a table and Foley is in trouble. This has all taken less than three minutes so I’m not leaving much out at all.

To play up the spontaneous nature here Rock is in street clothes, as in the kind you would work out in. Corporate Elbow (debuted 5 minutes from my house) hits for two as this is ALL Rock. Foley with a spinning neckbreaker out of nowhere to get both guys down. Bossman throws the belt in and a shot to the head (sounded SICK) gets two as well. Double arm DDT onto the belt and Rock is in big trouble.

There’s Mr. Socko as the crowd has lost it. Mandible Claw goes on but Shamrock pops Foley with a chair. Billy Gunn takes him down and the brawl begins. Everything goes crazy and CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin comes out and everyone loses it. He caves Rock’s head in with a chair and pulls Mick on top for the pin and the world title as the roof is blown off the arena.

Rating: A+. This was about a shocking moment and excitement and a feel good story and they NAILED it. This is very personal bias heavy, but they’re my reviews so who cares?

DX puts Foley on their shoulders as the Corporation carries Rock out. Cole gets in the famous line of “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it!” This is one of the best feel good moment in WWF history as Foley was considered one of the best to never be world champion as he worked as hard as anyone else but was never given a serious shot at it.

He got the shot tonight and he won the title. Road Dogg does the big announcement of Mankind being the new champion to a HUGE ovation. Foley dedicates the win to his kids and takes a lap around the ring with the belt to end the show. This is my favorite moment in wrestling history, bar none.

Overall Rating: B-. I hate to use that grade as the show is far from average given the ending but the rest of the show is pretty bad. The last half hour is great stuff though which pushes the rating higher.

There was a very clear and predictable pattern for everything that wasn’t the main event and it got annoying after awhile. The ending more than makes up for it though as this was just perfect all around. Great moment and 100% worth seeing. If you even remotely like Foley I defy you to not smile a bit while you watch this.

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight Alberto Del Rio is going to have a going away party for Edge who apparently will be in attendance tonight.  Things are all leading to the Draft on Monday where things are going to get turned upside down as they typically do.  This should be fun as Smackdown was pretty good last week.  They’ve changed their style to more of a squash heavy show which works in a different way than the style they had used before.  Let’s get to it.

We open with the 3 Doors Down video from Raw which works for me as they’re my favorite band.  This is a clipped down version, as in like 45 seconds long.

We also get a recap of the ending of the battle royal last week with Christian winning the spot in the match against Del Rio.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine at the moment is people that can’t understand what “no lettuce” means.

The world title belt is hanging above the ring.

Big Show and Kane vs. Corre for the tag titles later as well as Kofi vs. Barrett for the IC Title.  Didn’t he get a rematch already?

Cole gets a big introduction as Sir Michael Cole.  Wouldn’t he be subservient to King Booker?

Cody Rhodes comes out with a paper bag.  There are also people in suits with a shopping cart.  Cody says his mask is for protection but Rey’s is for hiding his fears and hatred for the fans.  He talks about how the fans are all wearing masks as we’re getting philosophical here.  He has a remedy though at his own expense.  In the shopping cart are paper bags with faces cut out of them.  Not quite the cars that Oprah gives away but a nice gift I guess.  Cody has a bag saved for Rey.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey gets a kick in early and we head to the floor.  Rey gets a seated senton off the apron as we take a break.  Back with Cody knocking Rey off the top and taking over.  Cody tries a powerbomb which is reversed for two.  Big old clothesline gets two for Rhodes as Cody is being all psycho.  Dropkick looks to set up the 619 but Cody reverses with a backdrop to the apron.  They fight on said apron with Cody sending Rey into the post as we take ANOTHER break.  We’ve had two breaks with three minutes of actual wrestling to watch.

Back with Cody hammering away as Booker and Cole get into it again.  Rey does the Bret Hart chest into the buckle bump so Cody can ram the mask into the head of Rey.  Booker thinks Cody has amnesia.  What in the world is Booker on anyway?  Rey fights Cody off of the top and gets some high flying stuff including a cross body for two.  The swinging kick to a seated Cody misses as he rolls Rey up for two.

Top rope….something….jumps into a dropkick by Cody for two.  It might have been a cross body but it wasn’t actually cross.  Cody sets for Cross Rhodes but Rey fights out of it.  Another powerbomb is attempted but Rey counters again, this time into a rana for the pin at 7:10 shown of 14:10.

Rating: C+. Well what we saw of it was good.  This will likely be setting up the tiebreaker match at Extreme Rules which I really hope Cody wins.  He has the potential to be a decent main event jobbing heel and I hope they let him do that rather than having him job to Rey like so many others have done in the past.

Cody keeps beating on Rey post match and they go into the crowd for a bit.  They get bored out there I guess as they head back to ringside.  Cody sends Rey into the steps and they fight on the barricade.  Rey sends him into the crowd again and takes over.  Rey LAUNCHES Cody over the railing to send him back towards the ring.  Cody looked like a mannequin flying through the air.  Cody takes over again and hits Cross Rhodes on the floor.  He puts a paper bag over Rey’s head and leaves him laying.

Gabriel and Barrett are in the back and Gabriel says it wasn’t personal when he eliminated him.  Barrett says it was personal and Slater says they both would have sold their mother down the river to get ahead.  Jackson comes up and says calm down because he’s the leader.  Barrett glares at him so Jackson says he’s just kidding.  Barrett and the tag champions still aren’t happy.

We recap Laycool’s therapy from last week.  They had more therapy earlier today and McCool says Layla wouldn’t be here without her.  They argue even more and yell at the therapist.  McCool says maybe they should split because Layla might not be flawless.  Michelle apologizes and they hug to a nice pop.  And never mind as McCool grabs her by the hair and throws her onto the couch.  I’ll let that image sink in for a few moments before I point out it was to hurt Layla.  She cries as McCool leaves.

Cole is in the ring and we see a clip of the knighting and feet kissing thing from Raw.  He brings out Swagger for the following squash.

Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta

Total squash as Swagger beats him up with ease, hitting the Vader Bomb.  An enziguri hits and Trent tries a springboard, only to get caught in a powerbomb.  Angle lock ends clean at 1:13.

Big Show was at the Kids Choice Awards.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane

Slater vs. Kane to start as we’re talking about John Kennedy for some reason.  Cole says Booker is jealous because he’s not a King anymore.  Maybe he’s an 8 or 9 but not a King.  Show comes in for some pounding and it’s back off to Kane.  Slater gets a shot to the knee and immediately tags out.  Gabriel comes in and before he takes two steps takes a right hand from Kane to take him down.  That looked great!

Kane goes up but Jackson shoves him off to set up the Ricky Morton stint.  Slater grabs a chinlock and tags out again to Justin.  Gabriel at least makes it more than a few seconds before getting drilled this time that’s an upgrade for him.  Kane pops him with another hard sounding shot and tries the side slam.  Gabriel reverses into a spinning DDT for two.  Slater comes off the top and Kane pops him as well.  He’s been sharp with those punches in this.

Hot tag to Show who cleans house.  Slater gets sent to the floor onto Jackson and Kane hits that uppercut on Jackson as well.  He must have been following his brother with only big right hands or uppercuts.  Anyway Slater runs into Big Show and we remember who is who here, meaning the chokeslam gives us new champion at 4:04.  Kane and Big Show were never once in anything resembling jeopardy here.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here but Kane’s uppercuts, while basic, were cool looking as they made every member of the Corre go flying.  Also they didn’t make things ridiculous by having the two small guys fight against the monsters which would have been a good bit realistic.  Not much here but the right ending and it gives the English fans something special to remember.

The Corre argues in the back with Jackson blaming Slater for getting pinned and Slater shoving Gabriel and walking away.

Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters

When is the last time Masters won a match that wasn’t on Superstars?  Masters shoves him into the corner to start and sends Drew to the apron.  Masterlock out there doesn’t work so Chris blasts him to the apron.  Back in and Drew wakes up a bit as he hammers away for two.  Futureshock is reversed into a small package for two.  Sky High gets two for Masters as he makes a nice comeback.  Middle rope shoulder gets two and he goes for the Masterlock again.  Drew walks up the corner and slams back onto Masters to reverse.  Futureshock ends this at 3:35.  Nice pop for McIntyre.

Rating: C. Better match here with Masters looking competitive again but eventually he has to beat someone.  He really needs a move that is a pinning move like a powerbomb or something as most heels simply aren’t going to give up to end a match.  That Sky High of his could work.  If he gets some pins with it then it makes him a far better threat to anyone else he fights, which he really isn’t at the moment.

Raw ReBound is the R-Truth heel turn from Raw.  The video they have is the one from NXT which is much better than the actual turn itself.  Eats up about 4:30.

We recap the Rhodes/Mysterio match and post match stuff from earlier.  The match at the PPV will be falls count anywhere.  That fits with the crowd thing earlier I guess.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Jackson is with Barrett.  Kofi hammers away to start as Booker says Kofi worries about the fans too much.  Barrett gets a boot in to take over.  Kofi sends him to the floor and hits a BIG cross body to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Barrett holding a bow and arrow hold on Kingston.  During the break Barrett sent Kofi into the steps to take over.

Back to the floor again as Barrett might have a bad wrist or hand.  Jackson accidentally takes Barrett out and we head back in.  Barrett yells at Jackson and sends him to the back.  Small package gets two for Kofi and it’s comeback (was he ever in trouble) time.  Boom Drop hits and Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise.  Wade catches him in a fireman’s carry and puts Kofi on top.  Kofi tries a victory roll/rollup off the ropes but Barrett kneels down and grabs the ropes for the pin at 4:24 shown of 7:54.  Well that was short.

Rating: C-. Kofi’s big spots were nice but he needs to go to Raw.  There is nothing left for him to do on Smackdown and it’s very clear.  He hasn’t had any direction in forever and he needs a change of scenery.  This was a pretty weak match overall but the time is to blame for that.  Even though the whole thing was almost 8 minutes, just seeing about four and a half didn’t work.  Not a fan of this one but it was ok from a technical standpoint.

Time for Alberto’s party for Edge.  Clay and Rodriguez are there with him of course.  There are presents apparently and they’re under sheets.  Alberto pulls the first sheet off and it’s a grandfather clock.  Gift number two: adult diapers.  Make you own jokes there.  The third gift is her.

Cue LITA of all people….and it’s a fat chick.  Yeah I think we all saw that coming.  Del Rio says she never looked better.  Edge can go on a romantic stroll with her because he has this: a walker.  Time for the final gift which is a motorized scooter driven by Ricardo.  He does the Edge pose for the pyro to go off.  Oh and it comes complete with a handicap parking pass.

Cue Edge, looking a bit more like himself in jeans and a t-shirt with sunglasses.  Edge RSVPed on Facebook (that was on the graphic every time they showed it tonight) and this party sucks.  After some bad insults, Del Rio sends Brodus after Edge.  Christian pops up from nowhere with a ladder to drill Brodus and Del Rio as Alberto charges.  Christian sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and pulls down the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Considering this was one of the England show, this worked pretty well I though.  They let it be a regular show instead of a boring one like they tend to have on the British episodes.  Things are kind of on hold until the Draft which is a problem as we have the PPV right around the corner.  Cody was good tonight and the PPV is a good place to blow that feud off at.  Solid show overall and it worked rather well.  Good stuff.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana

Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock

Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater

Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen

We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to.  Sting is still world champion and AJ is back.  Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is.  Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches.  Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries.  Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue?  Karen says it’s over.  We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone.  Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.

Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons.  He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown.  The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done.  He wants Ray in the cage tonight.  AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight.  Here’s Ray for his reply.

Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month.  Uh….not quite.  Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time.  Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids.  The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently.  AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal.  Rey comes to the cage but stops early.  Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.

He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle.  Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on.  Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down.  Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down.  Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels.  They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table.  Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something?  Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead.  With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.

We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode.  He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV.  That’s probably the best thing for him really.

Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons.  They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now.  Beer Money comes out and says cool.  The match starts after the break.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry

The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back.  Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two.  There are weapons hanging around the ring as well.  Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more.  Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two.  Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.

Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys.  Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry.  Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down.  Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt.  DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.

Rating: C-. Run of the mill throwaway tag match here but Beer Money looked good.  It also advances Immortal vs. Fourtune which helps a bit.  Beer Money is in desperate need of challengers at this point and with various teams being dismantled they need to find some new ones very quickly.

The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot.  It’s her night apparently.  Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight.  This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently.  We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.

Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.

Here’s Hogan after a break.  He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now.  Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.  Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close.  RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel.  He turned his back on everyone for ratings though.  Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.

RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect.  I’m not touching that one.  A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t.  Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond.  Uh….what?  As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.

Cue Sting who says he invited himself.  RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network.  Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger?  Because if you are give me some!”  Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now.  Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon.  Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner.  Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother.  No word on if the main event is a title match.

Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.

Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title.  There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.

Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time.  I give up.  Young is feeding them beans.  Angle says go get some buckets.  Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara

Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently.  Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up.  Anarquia runs down America a bit.  Ah there’s the flag.  The match starts after the break.  Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress.  Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows.  Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.

Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again.  Now she yells at Tara.  Some of you might be noticing a pattern here.  The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown.  Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline.  Too short to grade.

Time for Karen to be crowned.  Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile.  They’re both in pure white too.  She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain.  And of course there’s manure in the crown.  Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair.  Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.

Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back.  Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is.  Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib.  Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him.  Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him?  Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson.  Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.

Back and we recap what we just saw.  The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown.  I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.

Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down.  Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately.  This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be.  RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth.  RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee.  It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it.  Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here to set up the post match stuff.  I believe this is the first time since the attack with Janice in the fall/summer of last year but I’m not sure.  Either way, nothing too bad here but it was way too short to be great.  Granted if it hadn’t been we couldn’t have shown Karen having horse manure dropped on her head again so they clearly made the right choice.

Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.

Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.

Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit.  Matt is COLD BLOODED!

Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title.  He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now.  Cue Scott Steiner of all people.  He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA.  If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself.  The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently.  Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.

Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form.  Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him.  They make the obvious match.  They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low.  Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.

Tessmacher is back.  Ok then.

Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week.  Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this.  Angelina destroys her.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting

Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA.  Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save.  Sting never got touched if that’s not clear.  As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe.  Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.

Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way.  Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again.  Chop block gets two.  We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop.  Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week.  The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of.  Back to the left one now.  Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash.  Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here for the most part as Matt was just a midcard guy getting a title shot.  I like that actually as it allows you to have both guys lose nothing.  Sting beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and Matt loses nothing because he shouldn’t beat Sting.  The leg work stuff was fine too as it added a little story to the match.  Not bad at all here which was a nice surprise.

Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.

Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move.  Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle.  Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.

Hogan says Anderson is done.  He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo.  Has he been chilling with JR or something?

Anderson says they had that coming to them.

Sting says who cares about whatever happens as all that matters is what Anderson did.  He wants revenge.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this again for the most part.  They were kind of in a holding pattern here which is perfectly fine.  Something that you notice about TNA is that there are a lot of people that miss the show some weeks because of a lack of time to fit everyone in, such as Mickie, Pope and Joe.  That’s not a bad thing as they do what they have to do with just two hours a week but it’s something that becomes a bit of an issue as it can get hard to keep up with stories.

No Bischoff this week which helped a lot.  Too many authority figures hurts things a lot and that’s a problem TNA needs to address.  You have Hogan, Bischoff and the Network plus various people making matches at a whim it seems.  Sting vs. Van Dam is fine for a PPV main event and it helps a lot here to see a random world title match that made a bit of sense.  More wrestling please though.

Results

Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry

Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne

Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam

Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop

When I first wrote this I followed it up with the Raw show from the same night which I’ll post Saturday.

Monday Nitro
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 38,809
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This is another of those shows that is historical to put it mildly. We’re about two weeks past Starrcade 98 and the end of Goldberg’s streak at the hands of Nash. That being said, tonight we have a rematch for the title. This is arguably the last stand for WCW as Raw is just owning them left and right in the ratings. Can they pull off one more chance? We’ll find out here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a big dramatic montage of the main event of Starrcade where Nash (who had just become booker at the time. I mean what are the odds of that?) beat Goldberg and won the world title. You would think one of them died given the way these are presented.

The Nitro Girls open the show, as always.

Flair is the President or something like that here. Hogan has recently retired apparently, announcing it on the Tonight Show.

There’s a Nitro Party in a luxury box for a winner of some kind of contest. What a great night to be there.

Glacier vs. Hugh Morrus

Yeah this is the opening match. Riveting no? Glacier was some kind of ripoff of Subzero from Mortal Kombat. I never got why this was done but then again why should you pay attention to the reason why you spend tens of thousands of dollars on a gimmick and the production values of a character? Morrus is now bald and has Hart as his manager, as he did before.

Glacier dominates for the most part with his great array of kicks. Hart tries to interfere which fails badly. Just after that a clothesline and the moonsault end it for Morrus. Those were the only two things that he hit all match.

Rating: N/A. This would have been the equivalent of a dark match as it was just to give the fans something to get them going with no particular reason for it. There’s no story or anything and it’s just a quick match so some wrestling can be seen. As we’ve been over, that was a big problem with the three hour shows, one they never quite solved.

To fill in time we show the segment from last week where Flair won control of the company. This was after he lost the big match the night before to Bischoff. This was also after Flair stripped to his underwear and tore up $100 bills in the ring for no apparent reason other than general insanity. We also see clips of a doctor saying that Flair didn’t have a heart attack but was being slowly poisoned. This was, of course, never resolved. They spend like 5 minutes just airing clips to fill time. We also see the Giant in one of his final WCW appearances before he would show up in WWF less than 6 weeks later. Pay no attention to Flair needing about 8 people to beat Bischoff.

Uh, theme song, after 16 minutes of video not counting any commercials that would have aired. That’s reaching ECW levels.

Flair and family with Arn Anderson come out. This takes another 3 minutes or so as he walks through the backstage while people clap. Why do I have a feeling that this is Flair’s dream come true? This is his first night in power as well. Malenko is on crutches for some reason that the announcers don’t know. According to Tenay it’s a sprained ankle.

Flair orders Bischoff to come out if he wants to work here anymore, so here he comes looking all sad and whatnot. He humiliates Bischoff and talks about all of the things that Flair has put him through over the years. Flair puts Bischoff back on commentary, working under Schiavone. He also reinstates Randy Anderson who Bischoff fired for refereeing fairly while he had cancer.

Since he hasn’t talked enough yet, Flair thanks everyone that helped him in the fight with Bischoff and apparently Randy Savage is back now as well. Flair books himself in a handicap match with Windham and Hennig at Souled Out. David volunteers to be his partner. Pay no attention to the fact that he has never had a match, or that you have BENOIT AND MALENKO standing behind you.

Booker T vs. Emory Hale

Hale worked four matches with WCW, one of which was as The Machine, who was a character WCW built up for months. He lost clean to DDP and was never seen again. Take a guess as to how this is going to go. They botch something and Booker spins up. Hale is a big old boy but not in the fat sense. Missile Dropkick ends this in like 40 seconds.

The Nitro Girls dance some more.

Bischoff still won’t talk. The other guys talking to him about how to do all this stuff is kind of funny.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Norman Smiley

Chavo has his stick horse here and is more or less insane. He rides around on it after putting Smiley on the floor. Can’t you see this RIVETING action here that is SO much better than Raw? I want to learn the Big Wiggle. The main thing here is to get Bischoff to talk rather than the match at all. Naturally you have two talented guys in there that can put on a fast paced match with stuff you don’t get in American wrestling, but hey we need to focus on Bischoff right?

Chavo botches the HECK out of something but gets a rollup out of it anyway for two. A sunset flip ends this in like 2 minutes for Chavo. I know I’m not saying a lot but there just isn’t any point to these matches and the focus is on the commentary so I’m a bit weak on material. Smiley breaks the horse afterwards.

Rating: N/A. Watchable stuff but the botch and lack of time really made this hard to get something going on. Not awful though.

Chris Benoit vs. Horace Hogan

I think this is about the start of the second hour and there is NOTHING going on so far from an in ring perspective. Benoit dominates the whole time as we talk about Bischoff even more. See how that was a major problem around this time? He was rapidly becoming the star of the show, which isn’t something that works at all. Randy Anderson is the referee here.

Top rope suplex sets up the headbutt but Benoit might have missed. The ever talented Horace (what kind of a name was that? His real name is Michael and they picked Horace?) takes over for all of a second as Benoit just SNAPS around into the Crossface for the academic submission.

Rating: D+. Total squash here but in the sense of squashes this worked rather well. Benoit dominated to say the least as Horace had nothing at all going for him. Granted that could be said about his career in general so there you are. And then at the PPV Benoit fought I think Mike Enos. Benoit in a nutshell ladies and gentlemen.

Goldberg is arrested. And so it begins. Basically he says he didn’t do it, whatever it is. He freaks out and we can see why he hardly ever talks. He says they’ll have to shoot him to take him in. At this point he has no idea what he’s being accused of but he still is willing to get shot for it. Nash is of course there and is ticked about him being put in the totally unmarked cop car. Hogan laughs about it too, in his big return I guess.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

Naturally the conversation is about Goldberg instead of the match. Larry offers his legal counsel, but I lose all interest because RALPHUS is here. Look this guy up as he was purely awesome. Tony informs us that of course they’ll have no issue with jumping away from the match if something changes in the whole Goldberg deal. Oh wait let’s stop to talk about the Flair match at Souled Out.

After two minutes of no conversation about the match, Tony finally starts talking about the match for about 20 seconds. And we’re done with that now as we talk about how we’re in the 7th segment of a 16 segment show so we have plenty of time to find out about Goldberg. Head and arms suplex takes over Jericho. This has been a solid back and forth match.

DVD is blocked and Jericho goes flying in a suplex. Jericho shoves the referee in front of a Saturn cross body and then punches Saturn in the balls. Lionsault covers but it’s a DQ due to the shove of the referee. However since Scott Dickinson (referee) is feuding with Saturn, Jericho wins for breaking no rules.

Rating: B-. Solid match until the stupid ending as if nothing else it could have ended in a pin. This was around the best time of Saturn’s career, so guys like Jericho were going to get very solid matches out of him no matter what. This of course meant nothing as Saturn would fight a referee at the PPV and Jericho would do nothing. Welcome to WCW.

Goldberg goes to the police station, where of course it’s fine to have a camera follow him. He’s been arrested for aggravated stalking after a charge brought up by Elizabeth. This was originally supposed to be rape or sexual assault but Goldberg flat out said no way. Also one very important thing to keep in mind: Tony says this police station is ACROSS THE STREET from the arena where the show is. That’s going to come into play later.

The Nitro Girls dance some more.

We talk to the Nitro Party winner again to waste some more time. Oh look there’s a thumb wrestling contest. Holy crap this stuff is freaking AWESOME BABY!

Now we go to the police station to see Liz get interrogated. While this is supposed to be serious, it’s just hilarious as we have a camera watching a police interrogation of a stalking victim. She talks about him always being at every show he’s at. Isn’t that called him going to work? This comes off as a scene from a police drama.

We cut to I guess a parking lot where Eddie and the other luchadores (the Latino World Order) are doing various Mexican stereotypes. Eddie had been promised a major push but Eric changed his mind and threw coffee on him. This was Eddie being compensated for it in some way. Take a guess as to how far this angle went. Now they’re at a party with women and Eddie is the center of attention. Two of the other guys aren’t happy. This segment goes on WAY too long as it’s like 5 minutes already.

Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis

Kidman is Cruiserweight Champion here and Heenan is on commentary now. This is a tornado rules match, meaning no tagging. That makes things more fun if nothing else. Kidman and Psychosis start us out with Rey and Juvi on the apron. You know, in a tornado match. Juvi doesn’t want to tag in so Psycho forces him to. Rey, already with a knee brace on hits a nice rana off the top to come in.

He does what would become the 619 but it was just a taunting move back then as it didn’t become a strike until WWE. When Juvi’s head was on straight he was pretty awesome. And now we’re going to go back to making fun of Eric for not talking. Methinks he left about an hour and a half ago, which is a nice touch if that’s the case. The announcers have been fairly convincing otherwise.

Nice rana by Kidman as he comes in. Tony again mentions the tornado rules because it makes more sense now I guess. Sweet pair of dives by the faces to take complete control. Springboard Doomsday Device half kills Psycho as there is zero flow to this match at all. Juvi Driver hits Rey as a counter to an Asai Moonsault and it gets two. Some insanely fast countering leads to face miscommunication, which is something you rarely see, to set up the guillotine legdrop from Psychosis to end it.

Rating: C. The spots were cool but like I said there was just no flow at all here. It was just a collection of spots that had no thought to them at all. WCW matches in this division were normally good about avoiding that, but then again there must have come a point where the guys just knew there was nothing they were going to gain no matter how hard they tried, so why bother anymore? It was ok, but the constant changing of the tag rules hurt it a good deal. Definitely ok though.

Goldberg is being told what Liz said about him, with Goldberg explaining the basic common sense of why he’s always at the same arenas and hotels Liz is at: they work together. Liz also mentioned a gym that Goldberg is always at. The reason he’s there: it belongs to him. Well that’s simple enough.

Nash comes out and says Goldberg got screwed at Starrcade and Nash never beat him. We’ll get to that show soon. He doesn’t believe Liz and says Hogan is behind this. And there we have the problem: Hogan has nothing to do with any of this but he’s thrown into it anyway. Nash wants Hogan tonight. Flair comes out and makes the match, despite Hogan retiring on the Tonight Show on Thanksgiving night.

Same video package from the beginning of the show about Nash vs. Goldberg airs. Tony is instantly convinced that Hogan is behind this. Why he’s convinced of it is never explained but who cares about anything like that?

Liz gives another testimony to the cops but her story doesn’t line up with what she said earlier.

Gene brings out Hogan who gets ZERO reaction. He wants to run for President, as in of the United States. Oh dear. He talks about how Goldberg is a criminal and gets even more heat on him, as Atlanta is Goldberg’s hometown. He’ll do the match with Nash tonight as his retirement match, which is now a title match.

Jericho talked to Dickinson earlier, more or less manipulating him into the DQ earlier. This was a pointless segment but that’s WCW for you.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Konnan

Steiner is champion. He goes on a rant about being out of control and out of his mind, which is fairly true it would seem. Bagwell makes fun of Flair’s heart attack, because there’s nothing wrong with that right? Konnan’s graphic of course says he’s TV Champion despite Tony saying he’s the former champion. Immediately the match looks bad as Konnan shoots him in and then just stands there so Steiner can hit him. That looked awful.

And there it is. “Fans the competition’s show is in the can. Mick Foley, who used to wrestle here as Cactus Jack, is going to win their world title tonight. That’s their world champion.” Oddly enough, this tape is of the rebroadcast and the famous line of “that’s gonna put some butts in the seats” is missing here. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Monday Night Wars have just ended for all intents and purposes. According to just about every source I’ve heard, at this point the audience switched over to Raw in a large quantity.

Why WCW thought this was a good idea is one of the longest running questions in wrestling history, as no one has ever been able to get the point of it. Why would you tell the people that are watching your show what’s going on at the other show? Especially when this is a rematch from last week of all things. This was just a stupid idea all around, as they more or less said “hey, WWF has a major main event too where you’re GUARANTEED a title change.”

I’ve never gotten why WCW was so obsessed with the fact that they were live. I don’t get why it’s so different. I get that people are supposed to think things are spontaneous, but you can film the show to make it appear that things are going rapidly no? Also, something else that WCW never got was that an awful live show pales in comparison to taped awesomeness. This just made no sense at all and no one I’ve ever heard of thought it was a good idea, which is more or less backed up by the ratings.

Finally, this is dumb because WCW had already promised one of two main events: Nash vs. Hogan or Nash vs. Goldberg. Those are hardly nothing matches and would likely have drawn a large audience. If you have people thinking about how awesome they could be, then why offer them an alternative? According to the ratings breakdowns, just after Foley would win the title on Raw, a lot of people shifted back to Nitro, implying people wanted to see the main event they were offering, which we’ll get to soon.

As for the match itself, shockingly enough it’s awful. Steiner dominates while Tony says they haven’t gone to the precinct for awhile. Oh and we’re LIVE. Konnan gets the worst X Factor in history for two, and here’s Bagwell for the DQ. Beatdown follows.

Rating: F+. Just a nothing match that went nowhere and ended as a joke of course. Total waste of time, but then again Konnan wasn’t ever really much at this point anyway. Steiner was pushed WAY too hard but he was old and had been around in the early 90s so he was the perfect person to push right?

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath

Yeah….this is what they wanted you to watch instead of Foley vs. Rock. That makes perfect sense right? Ok so Nash vs. Hogan is going to happen and Nash will fight Goldberg also if he gets here. Eric makes a Goldberg joke, proving he’s still alive. Wrath talks about how awesome he is. This is an open challenge but screw the whole drama thing.

Tony of course talks about how this is live and it couldn’t happen on a taped show. Uh….YES IT COULD. Why is it so hard to believe that a guy could come out and make an open challenge on a taped show? Is there a taped show rulebook somewhere that I’ve never seen? Wrath beats up Bigelow a bit but we hit the floor. Yes Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Adam Bomb is happening on national LIVE blast it TV in 1999.

Bischoff keeps making Goldberg putdowns as this is what he’s getting paid for now. We go to the floor again as Tony crows about how they have a world title match tonight. Well according to him so does WWF but I certainly won’t change the channel to see that right? Totally awful match here as it’s just a big brawl but it’s moving along like molasses as everything takes forever to do, making it incredibly boring.

They’ve been on the floor more than they’ve been in the ring, which is typical here. Who cares if it’s a bad match? It’s LIVE! They brawl onto the floor again, the referee goes down, and it gets thrown out.

Rating: F. Just pure garbage here and no one, I mean NO ONE, cared. Move on to something else please.

Liz is interrogated AGAIN, and yet again she can’t remember her earlier stories. Why is this so hard to remember? The detectives pick apart her story and she keeps checking her watch. They tell her she’ll be charged with a felony for lying, which makes her say it wasn’t Goldberg at all. IT’S A SETUP! I expect a laugh track or a theme song to kick on at this point.

After the perjury about stalking, we have women dance in the ring because that makes perfect sense right?

The announcers say Goldberg will have to get here and get dressed to fight. Hogan said earlier that he’d fight in street clothes if he had to. So I guess Goldberg isn’t skilled enough to do the same?

Brian Adams vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page was just completely awesome at this point and even I was liking him. After a brief opening Adams hits the floor and Page dives over the ropes to get him. Naturally no one really seems to care other than the fans, but the announcers have been told not to react to it I’d guess so they treat it like a headlock. Vincent interference gives Adams control.

They keep telling us we’re LIVE as it’s just irritating now. Discus Lariat and Page takes over for a bit. This is pure filler until we get to the main event. Tony talks about Goldberg fighting traffic to get here. That street he has to cross must be treacherous. We get a bearhug just to emphasize the level of boring here. Spinning DDT and we’re back to even. And there’s the Diamond Cutter to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match that was just to get DDP on the card. No one cares as this was like the Divas matches you have before the main event to kill some time before we get to the big one. Match sucked.

Goldberg is released from jail, making him yell at cops. He wants an escort to get to the Georgia Dome, which keep in mind, is across the street. Ok at this point, there are about 12 minutes left in the show. Let’s see how long it takes him to cross the street.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has Scott Steiner with him. Keep in mind his last match was back in October. What a coincidence that he’s here. I always wonder what’s going through their heads when things like these are about to happen. Nash comes out with Scott Hall, so the Outsiders are back again I guess. Keep in mind that this is, yet again, NWO vs. NWO. Hogan is in street clothes.

These are NOT taped matches mind you. There’s the bell, Nash mocks Hogan’s shirt rip. There was a commercial in between Goldberg leaving the police station and the introductions, so adding on let’s say three minutes for that, he left the station about nine minutes before the bell rang. They circle each other and the crowd is white hot. “This is what WCW is all about” according to Tony. Nash shoves Hogan, Hogan pokes Nash in the chest, Nash goes down, Hogan wins the title.

The four guys flood the ring and Goldberg arrives, in a car that he was driving. It happens to be the same car he went to the police station in, and it’s not a police car. So did the cops just steal his car or did he steal the unmarked cop car? The fans TOTALLY turn on the ending and are furious but HERE’S GOLDBERG! Down goes Steiner. Down goes Hall. Add Nash to that. Hogan gets some shots in but takes an AWFUL spear.

Goldberg sets for the Jackhammer, but Lex Luger comes out and beats up Goldberg, joining the NEW NWO! Yes, this is the NWO being reformed, two and a half years after it started. Goldberg gets handcuffed to the ropes and taze the heck out of him. He gets the spraypaint treatment as the fans want Sting. He would show up….two and a half months later. Hogan sprays the belt with the red paint and Steiner does the hand sign to end the show.

Ok so obviously the show as a whole means very little so we’ll save the overall rating until the end. Let’s take a look at the various reasons this was a bad idea and more importantly why this was the beginning of the end for WCW as a whole.

1. The World Title looks worthless. Think back to every heel ever. At the end of the day, their existence was about one thing: becoming world champion. DiBiase wanted to buy the title, Hogan used it as a safety blanket, Austin said it was his life, and it was more or less Flair’s logo. Nash more or less has said this belt means nothing to me, so I’ll just hand it to Hulk Hogan instead because he’s my friend.

This has drastic long term consequences. First of all, why would we ever buy Nash as world champion again? If he can just hand the belt away, why should we not think he’ll do it again? Second, it makes Hogan look like a paper champion. This is the more important one which we’ll get to in more detail in the next point. The thing here though is that he never beat Goldberg and Nash beat him under shady conditions. Hogan has the title and doesn’t have to fight Goldberg, which leads us to this.

2. Hogan is champion again. This could rival the first one for most important. It’s the second year in a row this has happened. Hogan, without beating the mega-face (Sting in 97, Goldberg in 98) has taken back the world title while the mega-face is beaten down. Hogan had not been seen in almost three months and is handed the world title just because. There is no need to make Hogan champion other than because he wanted to be. This in no way benefits the company and it simply goes back to the old days of the NWO, leading us to point number three.

3. The NWO is back one more time. Wrestling fans do not have long attention spans. This is a criticism I have of the current THEY storyline in TNA at the moment. You can’t have long running storylines and expect the fans to stick around for the duration of it. This was the case of the NWO. The angle went WAY past its expiration date but WCW kept going with it. It should have died or at least been fatally wounded at Starrcade 97, but Hogan got the title back in three months. Goldberg destroyed Hogan in July and six months later he has the belt again and the group is back.

The fans were simply tired of the NWO, and can you blame them? If you watch WCW from this time, EVERYTHING was about the NWO. People loved it at first, but it overstayed its welcome and the people just gave up. WCW never would listen to the audience though and kept right along with it because it worked once, so it’ll work again. This wasn’t the case obviously, and only due to injuries did this incarnation end.

4. The Foley aspect. As I mentioned, WCW told the fans about the Foley title win. That is my favorite moment in wrestling history and a great moment in general, as one of the hardest working men in wrestling gets the recognition he deserves. It’s a feel good moment and a lot of people seem to like it.

The problem is that as mentioned earlier, people that switched to the title change switched back for the WCW ending. This means that the fingerpoke is the last thing people see in wrestling for that night. By comparison to a great moment like the Foley win, the WCW change looks even worse. If there is no Foley win that night, then the WCW one comes off as a bad moment, but maybe not a disaster. The added bonus of people seeing Foley and feeling good about it makes the Hogan win just seem dirtier, which is a bad thing.

5. The fans are screwed. WCW pulled a bait and switch on their fans. They advertised Goldberg vs. Nash, which would have been a big draw as a mere 8 days before it main evented the biggest show of the year. By telling the fans to expect that then switch it out to Hogan vs. Nash is almost acceptable. It may not be what was advertised, but that’s certainly a major match. I would bet that a lot of fans weren’t thrilled with it, but having a replacement like that probably helped a bit.

And then the incident happened, and the fans that were a bit on edge already probably exploded. It makes you think you can’t trust the company to give what they told you they would give you. If you can’t trust them on a free show, why should you buy a show or a ticket to a show?

In short, this was a disaster and is widely considered the final blow which killed WCW. I think there’s a lot to that theory, but WCW was in big trouble already. There was absolutely no touching Austin at this time and having a guy like Foley around as a solid #2 face while Vince and Rock were the top heels, coupled with a great midcard and there was just no way WCW was going to get back into contention.

The best they could hope for was to hold onto their fan base and find the next big star to build up and hope people bought into them. Rather than going with say Benoit, Saturn (he was a big deal back then. Ok not really but he was popular) Jericho, or any other young guy, they went with Hogan and the NWO again, which naturally brought the ratings back down. They never won another night and they were into comedy for the most part the next year. This may have indeed been the final nail in the coffin.

Overall Rating: D. Main event and angle aside, this show pretty much sucked. Nothing of note happens as everything built up to the main event and then that bombed. There is some watchable stuff, but for the most part it’s completely forgettable. I had to recheck the card to remember what was on it after writing this. I reiterate that three hours is just too long to have a TV show run every week. There is far too much filler like Bigelow vs. Wrath for example. The angle setting up the main event and the main event should be seen for historical purposes, but that is definitely it for this show.

NXT
Date: April 19, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

Week I think seven here as I’m starting to think no one is ever going home.  I don’t mean that as hyperbole either.  I’m thinking that it might be just one winner declared at the end rather than having eliminations.  We don’t have much going on here probably as it’s another show in England which rarely get anything other than a token title change.  Let’s get to it.

It’s interesting to me that all of the major shows in a major city like London are in the same city.  Not saying it’s a bad thing but when you have shows in multiple major arenas in multiple cities in the same state in the same week at times normally, it’s kind of interesting to see.

One other note: I’ve been having very bad connection issues all night so I’m not sure if my internet is going to hold up 100% through the show.  I’ll do the best I can though.

First up we have the joust challenge and there’s no Striker this week.  The joust this time is a tug of war on the pedestals.  There are three random matches and whoever Maryse says does best goes to the finals.  O’Brian beats Saxton, Novak beats Young (WITH CONTROVERSY!!!!!  They went off at the same time and had to go to the replay) and Cannon beats Titus by DQ because Titus tried to pick up too much rope or something.

This is flying by as they’ve done the first three in maybe 2 minutes.  Cannon goes to the finals for being the most obnoxious.  Ok then.  Novak beats O’Brian and then Cannon (who gave up) in the finals to win.  This took less than five minutes combined.  Novak gets two points.  Novak steals Cannon’s robe.

That’s What I Am ad.

JTG introduces Novak who is apparently a street guy now.  He’s privileged to be an American apparently.  It’s time to talk to Regal whose name gets a solid pop.  Saxton and Kozlov cut them off and it’s time for O’Brian vs. Novak.  Oh joy.  What is this, their 5^th match?

Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian

Novak takes over early and gets a clothesline to put O’Brian down.  We’re in the chinlock less than two minutes in.  The lack of charisma here is so high it’s unreal.  Novak puts him down with a big boot as the fans chant for Regal.  O’Brian gets a rollup for a quick three abut the referee says shoulder was up, despite him slapping the mat three times.  O’Brian grabs a rollup which Novak yells at Regal to end this at 3:03.  Man I have to grade it.

Rating: D-. Jacob Novak has managed to reach a level of boring that I didn’t think existed.  I mean good grief this guy is just not interesting at all.  They’ve tried to give him the character of being made a street guy by JTG and it doesn’t fit him but that character doesn’t fit him (I hope that made sense to you because it only kind of did to me).  O’Brian isn’t any better.  The problem is they have no characters and are just people with names that wrestle.  There were names for those kind of people back in the 80s: they were called jobbers.

Post match Novak shoves Regal who charges at him until JTG gets between them.

We recap (thankfully not re-air) the Morrison/Truth segment from last night which was a pretty good heel turn I thought.  The recap is actually rather good, making the whole beating seem epic and making Truth look like he’s completely evil.

Saxton and Yoshi talk about Maryse in the back.  Saxton says slow it down a bit.  Yoshi says it’s cool.  Maryse comes up and asks Yoshi to come shopping with her.  Yoshi gets a kiss on the cheek and pays no attention to what Saxton suggests about their tag match later on.

Hornswoggle vs. Darren Young

Young is blindfolded and has an arm tied behind his back.  Apparently Young shot his mouth off backstage and Chavo “just happens to have a rope right here.”  What kind of freaky stuff is Chavo up to when he’s waiting on his matches?  Also whose side is Chavo on here?  He just happens to have a blindfold in his pocket too.  I know you can make the argument that Chavo had time to get this stuff, but where do you find rope and a blindfold in a foreign city on such short notice?  Odd indeed.

Regal randomly talks about how he used to manage the five Spice Girls but now at his age he can only manage two.  It was as random as it sounds.  This is exactly what you would expect it to be.  Horny moves around and when the referee is distracted Young cheats by moving the blindfold with his right arm.  Young gets shoved off the ropes and Horny hits the Tadpole Splash to end it at 1:28.  This was one of those comedy matches where they left out the comedy.

Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon/Tyson Kidd

WOW I completely forgot Kidd was on this show.  There’s a lot of time for this match too.  Maryse is at ringside here.  The rookies start us off but Cannon wants Yoshi.  I know this because he shouts I WANT YOSHI.  Off to Tatsu whose music sounds like constantly saying the word chimichanga.  Listen to it over and over again and you’ll hear it too.  This isn’t just me being random.  Regal is talking about ground beef for some reason.

The pros are in there rather quickly and Kidd can’t get a backslide.  Tatsu gets an appropriately Japanese armdrag and works the arm a bit as it’s off to Saxton.  Bryon has the armbar on with his back to Yoshi yet Yoshi has his arm out for a tag anyway.  Jumping back elbow gets two for Byron.  Off to Yoshi again as Regal talks about how he would never be able to make it in this kind of environment.  I’m not sure what you can really draw out of that but there’s something there.

Kidd gets kicked in the face and clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Cannon holding Saxton in a modified triangle choke.  That lasts a few seconds as we have to see a replay of what happened during the break.  Kidd jumped Cannon apparently to give his team the advantage.  Off to Kidd again who gets the dreaded “aggression” tag put on him.

Sunset flip by Saxton gets two but he can’t keep the arms down.  Regal actually has a name for getting the legs over the arms, which is apparently called the double legged nelson.  That’s a new one on me.  Saxton tries to fight back but gets kicked in the head by Cannon to take him back down.  Cannon gets him down and hammers away while yelling at him.  “It’s all” *WHACK* “about” *WHACK* “ME!” *WHACK* Not quite Magnum and Tully but it’s something I guess.

Saxton fights back and it’s a double tag to bring in the pros.  Tatsu takes over and a big kick gets a long two.  The crowd is starting to get into this now.  That says something about the rookies I think.  Shining Wizard gets two.  Yoshi sets for something but Cannon hits on Maryse.  Yoshi gets distracted and a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza from Kidd ends him at 11:26.  And yes that’s the real name of the move.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but it might be the longest match of the entire season so far.  The rookies weren’t that interesting and Saxton was in there for too much of the match to keep it interesting.  He’s not the worst of the rookies by far but his in ring work leaves a lot to be desired as far as being past the basics goes.  Not a terrible match but nothing great at all.

Overall Rating: D. Well the main event wasn’t terrible but the rest of the show isn’t interesting other than the Maryse thing if you really stretch it.  The problem at the end of the day is simply that the rookies aren’t very good with the main two here being Novak and O’Brian.  O’Neil has a look, Saxton has charisma, Cannon is a decent heel and Young is the best in the ring and has some experience.

Then you get to O’Brian and Novak.  What in the world do these two have to offer?  Whatever WWE thinks it is, I’m not seeing it.  They’re not charismatic, they have no characters, they’re not anything past average at best in the ring, they get zero reactions, and yet they’re here again.  If you cut those two off, this show goes WAY up in value, yet there wasn’t a single word about eliminations again tonight.  Not a horrible show as they cut down on the Raw stuff, which makes sense as there wasn’t as much on last night’s show.  Anyway, not terrible but Novak and O’Brian are killing this thing.

Results

Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge

Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup

Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re in England tonight as you can see by the location of the show.  This show was taped which might explain some differences in the look and feel of the show.  We’re apparently a week away from the 2011 WWE Draft which means this might be the last night a lot of Raw stars are well….Raw stars.  We also will likely get some more matches added to the Extreme Rules card.  Let’s get to it.

Nickelback opens us up.  Awesome.  Yes I like them.  Go ahead and make your jokes.

Here’s R-Truth to open the show in the arena.  Cole cuts Lawler and King off almost immediately and says it’s not 12 years ago.  Lawler says he likes listening to R-Truth rap.  Why do I have a problem believing that?  Truth says he’s going to preach the gospel.  He’s been down a long road of trials, tribulations and demons.  His problem now is that he’s in line to become WWE Champion.  Cena’s name is booed.  For the WWE Universe he’s fighting everybody anywhere anytime.  And that is the truth.

Cue John Morrison who says he’s happy but would be happier if it was him.  Morrison says Truth got lucky last week.  Truth says he’s in the best shape of his life.  We get a clip from last week where during a commercial a referee handed Truth some water as Cena came in.  Morrison says Truth is in good shape for someone who smokes.

Truth: “All you’re trying to do is get me to challenge you to a match for my spot at Extreme Rules.”  Morrison: “All right I accept.”  Morrison points out that Truth said he’d fight anybody and the people seem to like the idea.  Truth says he’ll do it on two conditions.  First up a bottle of water and a cigarette.  Morrison says he’ll need some luck too.  Crowd had no response at all to those three final things.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

This is for the spot at Extreme Rules apparently.  Morrison takes over early and Truth hits the floor.  The fans aren’t thrilled as he gets some water and we take a break.  Back with Truth holding a headlock and then grabbing some pinning combinations for two.  Back to the headlock again as I guess Truth was tired again?  Morrison makes a small comeback with clotheslines but is takes down by a spinning kick by Truth.

Truth works on the arm for a bit and hits that suplex into a Stunner move of him for two.  Axe kick misses as does Morrison’s kick off the middle rope.  Morrison blocks the jumping downward spiral (which I think is called What’s Up but I’m not sure), putting Truth in perfect position for Starship Pain to end this in 7:08 (counting commercial).  Morrison is now in the PPV main event.

Rating: C. Just an ok match here but the water angle was kind of interesting for a nice twist.  The reaction to the change in the triple threat is kind of surprising though as they acted like it was no big deal at all.  Not a terrible match but just kind of there.  The best word I can think of for this match is basic.  It wasn’t anything great but it wasn’t bad either.  Average grade sounds right.

Truth goes off on Morrison post match, apparently turning heel.  He throws in a running knee to Morrison’s head, driving it into the railing.  Then he kind of hougs Morrison and says it’s all right before throwing him down on the floor.  He steals Jerry’s water and blasts Morrison in the head with it.  Truth says John did this and hits What’s Up on the floor.  He gets a cigarette from a fan and actually lights up.  Never thought I’d see that on WWE programming.  He blows smoke on Morrison and throws the lit cigarette at him before leaving.  Long segment here but not too bad.

Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for Bourne here other than a faint trace of his music.  Vickie does the regular entrance for Ziggler, who she claims is new and improved.  He has a haircut and dark hair now.  Well he doesn’t look like Curt Hennig anymore.  Ziggler takes over quickly but is caught in a hurricanrana.  Bourne tries to come off the ropes but gets caught by a dropkick for two.

We hit the mat and Ziggler looks like he’s unsure what he wants to do before settling on a bow and arrow kind of hold for a bit.  Bourne keeps trying to fight back with some strikes but Ziggler takes him down with ease.  A nice little string of offense by Evan ends with a spin kick for two.  He goes up for Air Bourne but Ziggler moves.  Bourne LANDS ON HIM FEET but is caught in a Zig Zag to end it at 2:10.  That landing by Bourne was amazing.

Cole is going to be knighted later apparently.

The Raw Rewind is all three of Sin Cara’s appearances.

Video of Edge’s two appearances last week, set to 3 Doors Down’s When You’re Young.  Del Rio is going to have a farewell party for Edge on Smackdown apparently.

Here’s Miz in a new shirt, along with Riley.   It looks like a baseball jersey and says Awesome.  Miz complains about being in a triple threat match and having it changed on him.  The match is going to be in a cage also where you can win by pinfall, submission or escape.  He wants a chair because he’s going to protest this change as we take a break.

Back with Miz running his mouth as we come back in mid sentence.  He’s talking about how it doesn’t matter who does something because at Extreme Rules he’s going to still be champion at the end of the match.  He sets for the catchphrase and Sin (Scene according to JR) Cara’s music cuts him off.

Sin Cara vs. Alex Riley

BIG height on the trampoline this week as he easily clears the top rope.  Loud Sin Cara chant starts and here’s Cena at a full sprint to clear the ring.  Well you can’t say Cara isn’t getting a good rub right of the bat.  The GM sends an e-mail to make it a tag match.  Works for me.

Alex Riley/The Miz vs. John Cena/Sin Cara

Riley and Cena start with the fans booing Cena out of the building.  Bulldog takes Alex down and he bails to the floor as we take another break.  Back with Cena taking it to Miz FU is blocked and Miz gets a Side Effect to send Cena into the corner.  The announcers talk about the Draft and Jerry wants to know if Cole is drafted off Raw.  My guess would be very little would change as he already does Smackdown but what do I know?

Riley and Miz hammer on Cena a bit more until Cena gets that sitout powerslam kind of move he hit last week.  That’s enough for the hot tag as Cara comes in by kind of jumping into Miz.  Things speed way up and Cara hits all kinds of dives and springboard moves to take down both opponents.  He sets for what looked like a springboard splash of some sort but Riley made the save, pulling him to the floor.

Miz rams him into the apron and takes over as they’re now the legal men.  The dueling Cena chants begin as Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Back off to the champion who can’t get his running clothesline in the corner.  Double tags bring in Riley and Cena and John initiates his ending sequence.  Before 5 Knuckle Shuffle he takes out Miz.  The champ picks up his title to leave as Cena hits the FU on Riley.  Tag brings in Sin Cara who TOTALLY misses a springboard moonsault which is enough to end this at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Not a terrible match but Cara still looks really shaky out there and can’t hit some very basic spots.  If not for the sake of a quick camera edit that ending would have looked completely unrealistic and even with it the move looked bad.  Cara is trying but he looks like he’s about to go flying to the floor any second.  Not a good sign to be sure.

Nikki Bella vs. Eve Torres

Brie says that she wants a rematch but Eve might get drafted to Smackdown.  Not really any kind of a threat or anything but just kind of a statement of fact.  Eve misses a baseball slide to Nikki as she’s in a Tree of Woe to let Nikki take over.  Brie I think tries to slam Eve’s knee into the apron but the contact doesn’t seem to be there.  Nikki misses a double knee drop and Eve gets a rollup to end it at 1:48.

Eve poses after her win and Cole cuts it off.  He’s going to be knighted next.

Back with Cole in the ring and he calls out Swagger.  Jack comes out in a suit holding what looks like a robe over his arm.  Swagger doesn’t look mad at him after last week.  They hug so I guess everything is ok.  Swagger pulls out a scroll and botches saying “Hear Ye” by saying “Hear He”.  Tonight we add a new item to his hall of fame career as he becomes Sir Michael Cole.

Swagger brings out a woman that is called Queen Elizabeth.  The fans boo loudly as she reads whatever proclamation she has and taps him on the shoulders with the sword.  Cole kisses the queen and tries to start a Sir Michael Cole chant.  The fans reply by chanting sucks.  Cole says to show respect because they’re all his peasants.  And speaking of peasants, he turns his attention to JR and the King.  Isn’t a King ahead of a knight?

Cole says they should kiss his feet.  Cole takes his shoe and sock off, revealing a disgusting looking foot that looks like it’s dirty and infected or something.  Swagger takes Lawler out and then grabs Ross.  JR of course refuses so the ankle lock goes on and down goes Ross onto the foot.  Cole and Swagger stand tall.

Punk vs. Orton later tonight.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

Cole and Matthews on commentary now as this is what, the 7^th or 8^th week in a row that the same team doesn’t finish commentary?  Sheamus says this might be his last chance to embarrass Santino due to the draft.  The Champion sends Santino into the corner and takes over with ease.  Powerslam is reversed and that’s about it for this sequence by Santino.

Off to that crossface chickenwing on the mat but Marella fights back up.  An elbow drop leads to a similar version of the same hold.  Total dominance for the first few minutes until Santino dodges a charge in the corner.  He loads up the Cobra but falls down in the process.  Brogue Kick ends this clean at 3:28.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here and a way to get Sheamus on the show.  Santino is a rare breed of jobber where he can lose time after time but keep his credibility based solely on his comedy.  Not much of a match but at the same time it wasn’t supposed to be.  Kind of surprised that Santino got in literally no offense.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk grabs a headlock to start and the fans chant in a dueling fashion.  Orton stomps Punk down in the corner which doesn’t last long at all.  Punk fires off some knees to the head and a running one puts the Viper down.  Orton comes back and gets his powerslam to set up the RKO.  Punk shoves him off and we take a break.

Back with Punk slamming Orton and dropping a knee.  Off to a front facelock and Orton can’t seem to reverse it.  We get a GTS/RKO chant as Punk keeps up his offense.  We go out to the floor for a bit as Punk wants to know if he can get a pin out there.  Back in and it’s off to a modified triangle choke.  Orton bites the fingers to escape.  Punk tries a bulldog which is reversed into a belly to back suplex as we’re back to about even.

The bulldog hits this time and it gets two.  Punk is all frustrated since getting bitten on the hand.  He fires off some kicks but walks into the Orton backbreaks and an Angle Slam for two.  Punk clotheslines him on the top rope as we get another dueling chant.  Springboard clothesline gets two.  Punk goes up, only to get caught by a superplex for a long two.  Punk rolls to the apron which is a bad idea against Orton.  Elevated DDT is reversed into a GTS attempt.  That is countered into an RKO attempt but Punk gets a kick to the head.  Another GTS attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 15:44.

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match here but it certainly wasn’t enough to save the show.  They were trying and gave us a pretty good match but it wasn’t as good as their Mania match.  This was the standard long match to end a TV show and send the fans home happy which is fine, but I’d like to see Punk get one win over Orton in this feud.  Not bad, but nothing classic.

Post match the New Nexus hits the ring for the big beatdown.  Batista’s Welsh son hits his Rock Bottom/Side Effect finisher to leave Orton laying.  McGillicutty and Otunga want to do something of their own but Ryan says Orton is his.  Ryan sets for a punt but Punk wants the honor.  After taking forever, Punk charges into an RKO to end the show.  Nice ending.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  I know it’s a show over in London so things are a bit different, but at the same time a lot of this felt like it was completely lacking.  There wasn’t a main point to most of tonight other than I guess you could say Truth’s turn.  Cole’s segment didn’t really do anything other than make him look like a bad guy which we’ve known for a long time now.  Nothing of note here and I wasn’t impressed at all.

Results

John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain

Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag

Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley

Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup

Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup