Smackdown
Date: July 1, 2011
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have the main event set for MITB as it’s Christian vs. Orton 39 or whatever we’re up to with them now.  Also tonight we’ll probably find out who the Money in the Bank guys are, which should be interesting given who we have in the midcard on Smackdown.  The field for both shows is pretty wide open this year.  Hopefully Smackdown can get back to where it usually is.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Mark Henry and how dominant he’s been lately.  Apparently he gets Orton tonight.

Teddy is in his office and Christian comes in with a contract.  He wants a contract signing with Orton tonight.  Teddy points out that he didn’t win the tag match last week, Henry did.  That clears up some stuff so we’re off to a good start.  If Henry wins, he might make it triple threat.  Christian is barred from ringside.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

Not bad for an opener.  Henry immediately rams him into the corner but Orton fires off some right hands.  That doesn’t last long as Henry throws him into the corners a few times and then hits a belly to belly suplex for two.  Big boot puts Orton down again and Henry chokes a bit.  Time for some smack talk as Henry says he’s the champ and not Orton.  World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Orton gets a DDT for two.

We head to the floor and the referee actually lectures them for a bit, saying get back in the ring before he has to start counting them.  I’ve never heard that before.  Not that it matters though as here’s Big Show’s music.  No Big Show though as Henry stares at the runway.  When he realizes that there’s no big bald dude coming, he turns into an RKO at 8 and Orton wins by countout at 4:24.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t meant to be a classic or anything like that.  Henry not being in the main event makes sense as they’ve been building to Show vs. Henry for awhile now.  This gets Henry out of the equation though so it accomplished that at least.  Nothing great but the pop for Orton was solid.

Post match Henry goes up to the technical area and yells at the music guy.  He destroys a lot of equipment while the sound guy is sitting there in terror.  I run the sound board at my church so I feel for this guy.  The guy starts to leave but Henry changes his mind and throws him off the side of the stand they’re on in a nice visual.  The guy just disappeared.  Henry finally leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Neither guy has music due to the attack.  It’s a weird visual to see Bryan coming out to dead silence.  The lack of music of course.  The very mild reaction is typical.  DiBiase coming out to no music is a nice unintentional throwback to his pop’s days.  That’s about the only similarity between them though.  Ted says he’s enjoyed humiliating Bryan and it’s due to Cody in an inset interview.

Basic stuff to start with Bryan getting an armdrag into an armbar.  Off to a full on surfboard which still astounds me every time.  Bryan heads up but misses a jump of some sort, allowing Ted to dropkick him to the floor as we take a break.  Before we go back to the match, let’s have a quick video about Daniel Bryan.  Not bad for mid match advertising.

Back with Ted holding a chinlock.  DiBiase hits his following clothesline for two and it’s right back to the chinlock.  Bryan gets his backflip out of the corner and a clothesline puts DiBiase down.  He’s getting frustrated here.  Here come the kicks but Ted grabs one into a rollup.  Bryan counters that into an attempt at the LeBell Lock but Ted gets a rope before it’s on.

A backdrop puts Ted over the top and Ted tries to jump off the apron, only to be rammed into the post and then the railing.  He’s holding his shoulder after the second ram which gets two for Ted.  DiBiase gets some facewashes in the corner and a big slap.  They go up the corner but Ted is knocked off and Bryan hits a dropkick to put both guys down.  His arm and shoulder are still bothering him.  Bryan unloads with strikes and a big kick gets two.  Dream Street is countered so Ted tries another following clothesline.  Bryan is ready for it though and throws on a guillotine choke which is good for the submission at 9:03 shown of 12:33.

Rating: B. I liked this here as they had the time to build up a solid match with some psychology at the end of it also.  As usual, Bryan has a solid TV match.  I was very skeptical about him when he first came to WWE but he’s proven me wrong and has gone on to have some very solid matches.  Good TV match and it worked well, which is stunning for DiBiase.

The music is working again.

Christian comes in to see Teddy, saying since Henry lost he should get the title shot.  Teddy says the word on the street is that Christian was seen leaving the production truck after Big Show’s music played.  Apparently that doesn’t matter as there will be a contract signing in about an hour.  To kill the time though, Christian will be facing Sin Cara.  Bit of a step up from what Cara’s been doing to say the least.

Ted is upset and Cody says Ted hasn’t won a match since May 20.  He can’t guide Ted until Ted changes his ways.  If Ted can’t do that, he might as well wear a paper bag.

We recap Khali and Mahal and the heel turn of Khali.  We get highlights of Mahal and Khali dominating people while Singh talks about what’s going on.  Apparently Jinder wishes he was Great Khali but never will be.  He’s Singh’s brother in law apparently which makes him Khali’s brother in law also.  Mahal is married to their sister.  His power over Khali and what he’s saying when he shouts is that he’ll humiliate their family by divorcing his sister.  Dang it’s nice to have everything explained all at once for a change.

Video on Sin Cara that we’ve seen before.  Actually this is an extended one because he talks in it.  Wait that’s Mysterio.  What am I watching?  It started as a video on Cara and became one about Rey.  Why are they promoting Rey on Smackdown now?

Sin Cara vs. Christian

The MITB case is hanging over the ring and we’re told the SD MITB participants:

Kane, Sin Cara, Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Sheamus

Some interesting choices in there.  I guess Sheamus is the frontrunner but I’m not very sure.  Rhodes as a dark horse I guess.  Cara under jumps a springboard armdrag and Christian hits the floor.  Cara keeps teasing dives but Christian runs more as we take a break.  He complains about the lights before we cut away.  Back with Christian hammering away and trying to start a Sin Cara chant for some reason.

Christian hits the floor and Cara hits a corkscrew plancha to take over.  Back in Cara gets two.  There’s the way too complicated arm drag out of the corner for two.  Christian manages to backdrop him to the floor to take over.  The Cara chant starts up as he’s in a chinlock.  The Canadian gets a few near falls and chokes him on the middle rope.

Top rope headbutt misses and Cara gets two.  Springboard back elbow gets two.  Cara tries what looked like his finishing move but rotates more into a DDT instead for two.  Victory roll and a pretty ugly one gets two.  Christian goes up but Cara gets a boot to try to set up the top rope C4.  Christian shoves him off and hits the floor to rest a bit.  Cara is like cool dude and gets a rana off the apron to put Christian down again.

Back in a kick staggers Christian again and a springboard crossbody gets two.  Christian counters into a reverse DDT for a long two.  Cara grabs a small package for two.  Tajiri elbow is countered into a failed Killswitch attempt.  Cara charges but gets dropped onto the turnbuckle, followed by a spear to give him his first loss at 9:31 shown of 13:01.

Rating: B-. Good but not quite as good as the previous one.  It’s scary to think how bad this could have been without Smackdown editing for it.  The high spots are cool but at the same time they can cause problems with botching, which is something that it’s hard to overcome.  Kind of surprised Cara’s first loss is here, but at least he was able to hang in there with some higher level talent so that’s a good sign.  Pretty fun match, botches aside.

We get a clip of Jackson winning the IC Title.  He gets Cody tonight.  I was kind of hoping for a feud between those two so I’m happy here.

Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Jackson goes right at him and tosses Cody around like a tiny man.  Cody escapes a gorilla press and heads to the floor.  Some distracting by Ted allows Cody to take over for the first time.  Back inside Cody works on the arm and turns it into a hold I don’t think I’ve ever seen.  He’s sitting back like a camel clutch but has Jackson’s arm wrapped around his leg like a LeBell Lock.

Jackson gets up and throws Cody with a release gordbuster.  Big Zeke sells the arm and hits a corner clothesline and it’s slam time.  DiBiase comes up on the apron and gets drilled, only for Cody to hit the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the upset pin at 4:06.  I’m rather surprised by that.

Rating: C+. I know Jackson is almost universally hated on the internet, but answer this: what exactly are you expecting him to do/be out there?  The guys is a pure power wrestler and he uses basic power moves.  Why in the world would you expect him to do anything other than that?  I really don’t get the criticism I read about him as he’s doing exactly what someone that looks like him is supposed to do.  Anyway this wasn’t that bad at all with Jackson dominating and Ted trying to redeem himself in Cody’s eyes.  Nice little match.

We get a video on Jackson in the form of a little highlight package.  This is a new running thing on Smackdown and I really like them.  They’re like 30 seconds long and gives you a nice quick idea of what you can see if you keep watching the show.  Well, at least in cases where the guy hasn’t had his match already.

Johnny Curtis draws a picture of himself in a corner.  He has to run out of lines eventually.

Raw ReBound is the same as from NXT, showing a shortened version of Punk’s promo.  Cole tells us that Punk has been indefinitely suspended.  Booker saw it on Youtube and says he was blown away.  Good to know that Booker doesn’t watch Raw.  Vince is rumored to be on Raw apparently.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett actually throws some bareknuckle punches which I don’t remember him doing any other time.  He controls early until Kane gets a boot up to break the momentum.  The low dropkick is set up but Wade hits the floor to avoid it.  Kane chases him in and runs into a big boot to knock him back to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Barrett holding a chinlock that is quickly broken.

Kane charges into an elbow and takes another big boot.  Barrett really likes that move.  He chokes Kane on the middle rope as Booker criticizes him for wasting time.  All the choking gets him a one count so let’s hit that chinlock.  Big uppercut takes him down after the hold is broken.  Barrett keeps expanding his moveset by hitting a DDT for two.  Middle rope elbow misses as the announcers are talking about ducks.  I think I’m glad I missed what got us there.

To the shock of everyone Kane busts out a pretty good cross body for two.  It’s followed by a big boot of his own for two.  Clothesline in the corner and a side slam get two.  Top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam.  That gets reversed so Kane tries what looks like either a tombstone or a powerslam but Barrett gets out of that also.  Boss Man Slam gets a close two as this is getting good.  Doesn’t last long though as Barrett misses a big boot and Kane is able to hit the chokeslam for the pin at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: B. I like both of these guys and they put on a good match here.  This is one of those matches where both guys look good which is a good sign.  Barrett certainly doesn’t look weaker for losing and it’s not like Kane winning is a shocking upset.  Barrett keeps using his varying offense and it makes for entertaining matches.  The rating might be a bit high but I liked this quite a bit.

We see Henry attacking the guy earlier.  He’s been taking to the hospital and his vital signs are good.

Time for the contract signing.  Christian comes out with a lawyer with him.  He says there’s a clause in the contract saying that if there’s a bad decision or unfair call he gets an automatic rematch.  He swears he can beat Orton and cuts the champ off when he tries to talk.  The WWE and the fans can’t save their golden boy anymore because Orton can’t beat him.

Orton talks about how they had great matches and Orton kept winning.  Now we’ve gotten to all this and it’s making him angry.  As you know, he’s had problems in the past controlling his anger.  Lawyers won’t help him though because the only way he can get the title is to beat Orton, and that won’t happen.  Orton signs it up and hands it to Christian.  The lawyer reads it first and whispers something to Christian.

He goes to sign but the pen doesn’t work.  Teddy goes into his pocket for another pen but here’s Sheamus, returning from being punted and massacring both guys.  RKO is blocked and it’s a Brogue Kick for both guys.  Sheamus picks up the contract that doesn’t have Christian’s signature yet and rips it up.  He leaves both guys laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was a pretty awesome TV show.  You had some good matches, the main event scene has a new element added to it which was needed as Christian vs. Orton can only happen so many times.  Almost every match got some time and the whole thing was very good.  No bad matches, everything made sense, stories were advanced and the whole thing was very efficient.  Nice to see Smackdown bounce back after a few weaker shows.

Results

Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via countout

Daniel Bryan b. Ted DiBiase – Guillotine choke

Christian b. Sin Cara – Spear

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Kane b. Wade Barrett – Chokeslam

I can’t believe I didn’t put something up on this sooner.

As I’m sure you’ve all seen by now, Punk had an awesome promo on Monday that was at least somewhat shoot.  What are your thought on where he’s going and what he’ll be doing in the future?

At the moment, I’m thinking he’s going away, at least for awhile and that Cena gets the clean win.  I think we’re probably building this up too highly, because the whole thing ends with a single fall.  I’d like to be wrong, but I don’t think it can end any other way.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 30, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We continue the build towards Destination X tonight with another triple threat qualifying match. Other than that we’ll likely see more of Sting being insane and staring at Anderson. The show was a lot better last week than it’s been in awhile so hopefully they can keep that streak going tonight. Let’s get to it.

We have limited commercial interruption tonight.

We open with a recap of Sting being insane last week and attacking Bischoff and Abyss.

Hogan welcomes Steiner to Immortal and says he’ll be taking care of business tonight. Steiner leaves and Sting’s voice is heard. Hogan walks over to a monitor and sees the back of Sting’s head. Sting talks about how the monster isn’t under Terry’s bed because he’s right here. Sting turns around and has the full on Joker face paint. Hogan walks into the arena and here we go.

He gets a huge face pop as almost always. He’ll take care of Sting on his own time but right now wants to talk to someone else: Mr. Anderson. Hogan says that when Anderson faces Sting, he has two choices: he can join Immortal and have an army of monsters with him or he can go alone and lose everything. Anderson mocks him of course and says he won at Slammiversary on his own.

Hogan says he sees dollar signs with Anderson and says Anderson owes him one. This doesn’t sit well with the champ but we cut to the back with Sting destroying Immortal with the bat, saying that he wants to talk to Hogan. He looks at the camera and says “The only thing for sure about Sting is…oh forget it.” Lights go out in the arena and Sting is in the ring with the bat. He hits Hogan in the knee as Anderson runs. Sting looks at Hogan and says hang on a second so he can yell at Anderson some more. He names the July 14th show Midsummer Nightmare and then hits Hogan again, this time in the ribs.

Sting talks about being a Hogan mark for his entire career and starting his career in the Sports Arena when he was breaking in. Sting is completely insane here. He talks about the vitamins that Hogan used to take and says the Pythons are down to 21 inches. He grabs a bottle of them in the corner and takes some with Hulk, pouring them down his throat. There’s a Scorpion as Hogan is defenseless.

Here’s Immortal for the save as we talks some more. Ray says that their paths have never crossed and that changes tonight. He can’t stand a bully because all the do is run their mouth. Therefore tonight, it’s Sting vs….Scott Steiner. They get Hulk up and he says cut the music. Tonight he’s going to wipe the smile off Sting’s face. Long segment but it kept my attention throughout, which is always a good sign. Good stuff.

There were some BFG Series matches over the weekend. Here are the updated standings.

Crimson 17
Gunner 14
Matt Morgan 14
AJ Styles 14
James Storm 14
Rob Van Dam 7
Scott Steiner 7
Bully Ray 7
D’Angelo Dinero 0
Robert Roode 0
Devon 0
Samoa Joe 0

Gunner vs. AJ and Joe vs. D-Von tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: D-Von vs. Samoa Joe

The bell is after the break. Joe vs. Kaz at Destination X is confirmed. Joe grabs the Clutch almost immediately but D-Von gets the rope. D-Von hammers away but Joe gets a kick to the chest to take over. Knee drop hits and D-Von is in trouble. Spear by D-Von takes Joe down and here coems the former Dudley. Spinning back elbow sets up a Rock Bottom and a flying headbutt. Clothesline gets two.

Joe gets some boots up in the corner to break the momentum and hits a leg lariat off the middle rope. He lets go of the pin and goes for a leg bar instead which makes sense from the points perspective. When that doesn’t work he throws on a key lock but D-Von makes the ropes again. D-Von gets some right hands in but gets caught in a powerslam to set up a cross armbreaker. The fans are way into D-Von here. He comes off the middle rope but Joe gets a boot up to keep him down. Clutch doesn’t work and Joe walks into a spinebuster for the big upset at 6:14.

Rating: C+. I liked this. The psychology was there as Joe wanted the submission so he could try to make a big jump in the points standings but now he gets nothing. I’m still a bit skeptical about the Series in general but it’s starting to take shape and I could see this working pretty well. Pretty good stuff here and it worked much better than what I was expecting.

Pope is with D-Von’s kids and is excited over the win for his new friend.

Steiner comes into Immortal’s locker room and yells at Ray about life in general. Ray gives him his chain for the match with Sting later.

Kaz tells Joe that he’s better than this. They yell at each other and it’s implied that we’ll get a brawl later tonight.

We recap the X-Division Showcase stuff. Low Ki is back tonight, as is Matt Bentley and Jimmy Yang. Low Ki is more famous as Kaval. He and Yang were in the first ever TNA match I believe. Bentley is famous for having a cousin that you may have heard of: Shawn Michaels.

Matt Bentley vs. Jimmy Yang vs. Low Ki

Yang thinks he’s Elvis. If I remember right his original gimmick was part of a three man team called the Flying Elvises so that’s some continuity. Low Ki sends Yang flying and gets a big chant to start. Handspring elbow into a cross body gets two as we start very fast. Yang hits a cross body of his own before we get down to Low Ki vs. Bentley. They trade chops before a clothesline puts Low Ki on the floor.

Yang is back in but he’s all alone. He fires off a huge dive to knock Low Ki down and it’s a good thing he was there because otherwise Yang would have faceplanted. Yang throws on an armlock but gets caught in a crucifix for two. Spinwheel kick that looked awesome puts Low Ki down. Low Ki unleashes the kicks and there the Warrior’s Way to Yang. Big springboard spin kick gets two on Bentley.

Bentley gets a Stunner to Low Ki and a DDT to Yang at the same time. Superkick puts Low Ki down for two. Top rope cross body lands in a gutbuster and it’s Yang Time. It’s a corkscrew moonsault but Bentley moves out of the way. Not that it matters because he would have missed by two feet but whatever. Warrior’s Way ends Yang clean at 6:40.

Rating: B-. Another fast paced and fun match here. Yang was really exciting with his dives and his kicks. I have a feeling this is going to all go away after Destination X but at least it’s fun to watch while it lasts. They were going very fast out there and it worked quite well for the most part. Fun stuff.

Video on Ultimate X which still doesn’t have any competitors listed yet.

Madison Rayne is freaking out over her lip gloss missing. Winter and Angelina Love come up and Angelina is all fine now. Madison yells a lot and leaves. Winter says she should be champion and she’ll get the title at Hardcore Justice. Angelina says she’s glad someone finally appreciates her, in the form of Winter. The other life and past stuff isn’t mentioned at all.

Back and we get some fan cam stuff of Joe beating up Kaz at a bar.

Hogan is taping his fist and says he’s going to get Sting tonight.

Winter/Angelina Love/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Elimination rules here. Mickie and Winter start us off and Winter loses her belt quickly. Angelina comes in sans tag so I guess it’s lucha tagging rules, meaning you can come in whenever your partner hits the floor. Tessmacher hits what she calls the, and I’m not making this up, Asstastic on Winter. Basically it’s a Stinkface but much more fun to look at. She walks into a bridging suplex though and it’s 3-2. Madison and Love are in different corners for some reason.

Tara comes in and beats on Winter a bit, hitting the standing moonsault for two. Winter and Angelina hit a Botox Injection/Samoan Drop combo but Madison steals the pin. It’s 3-1 now but Mickie hits a spinning kick to Madison for the pin. Winter and Angelina don’t seem to mind it being 2-1. All those pins happened in less than 90 seconds or so. Angelina and Winter double team Mickey but mess up that same double team move as Angelina kicks Winter which gets two for Mickie.

Angelina tries that spinning backbreaker of hers but gets reversed into a jumping DDT attempt. Winter makes the save into a backbreaker of her own, allowing Angelina to hit the backbreaker on Mickie. Winter and Angelina argue over who gets the pin as Winter says it’s her turn now. Angelina isn’t thrilled with it and Mickie is back up and able to get a neckbreaker to end Angelina and get us down to one on one. Rollup with tights gets two for Winter. Jumping DDT ends Winter at 6:41 overall.

Rating: C. Well Mickie just pinned all three of them in a row in maybe three minutes with none of them ever leaving the ring. With that it’s kind of hard to think Winter has much of a chance at the PPV but I guess that’s the point of the match. Not a terrible match but I kind of don’t see the point in the eliminations or the total dominance by Mickie.

Gunner says he’ll take out AJ tonight.

Kendrick talks about his match with Abyss while Abyss reads from The Art Of War.

Time for the contract signing for the Destination X main event which is Styles vs. Daniels. AJ asks if Daniels is sure and Daniels signs up. Daniels says it won’t become personal and after the match he’ll shake his best friend’s hand. AJ signs and Taz says he doesn’t buy it. Everything looks to be ok but here’s Jerry Lynn of all people. He says he was part of the team that built the X-Division and the two guys seem to agree.

Here’s RVD who calls himself a pioneer and says he was X-Division before the X-Division. Lynn yells at him and Daniels says that if these are the two big matches, it could be the best PPV ever. They were all part of the X-Division movement apparently. I’d hardly call it a movement but whatever. Daniels proposes a match on Impact next week in the form of a four corners match which everyone agrees to.

AJ is leaving but Gunner jumps him. He sends AJ into the railing and we go into the ring. There goes the table for the contract signing and AJ hammers away. There’s a referee in ther ebut I don’t think this is a match. Certainly doesn’t appear to be. Apparently it is now though.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Gunner

There’s a red carpet on the mat which is a rather weird look. AJ jumps him in the corner and hits a forearm. Gunner pounds away as this is more of a brawl. AJ takes over and gets a belly to back suplex to put Gunner down. Flying knee gets two. Pele sends Gunner to the apron and a dropkick puts him on the floor. There’s a big old dive over the top and everyone is down. Gunner gets a shot in and tries the F5 but AJ reverses and sets for the springboard forearm. Gunner gets a low blow in and the F5 ends this clean at 5:02.

Rating: C. Not too bad here but nothing all that great. Gunner is a guy that has stalled pretty badly recently and his matches aren’t helping him. The red mat took a bit of getting used to but it wasn’t all that bad of a thing eventually. Either way not bad here but it was pretty average overall.

Sting says it’s the wrong place and wrong time for Steiner.

Package on ODB vs. Velvet and all that jazz. Velvet says she’s used to being bullied so this is nothing new. She’s done being the runt of the litter and she’s not taking it anymore. How many hot chicks do you remember being bullied? Something doesn’t fit here.

Crimson vs. Roode next week.

Here’s Mexican America to complain. Hernandez is the president of the team apparently. Anarquia says that Hernandez is mad now and that’s not good. They should be in the BFG Series but Beer Money is in there instead. They’re the best tag team but they’re not in the series for some reason.

They’re interrupted by the British Invasion who say they’re foreigners also. We’ll ignore that only Sarita is a foreigner and she’s Canadian. The Brits are apparently faces now and want a match with Mexican America for the #1 contender spot. They want the girls, or “los prostitutos” left out of it though. Brawl starts and the Brits get beaten down. Rob Freaking Terry of all people comes out for the save.

Jeff Jarrett has a message from Mexico and is with Karen. They’re in the middle of Mexico City and Kren says they’ll have presents for everyone. They’ll be back in a few weeks apparently. So what was the point in sending him to Mexico if he can just come back?

Ray says that Steiner will take care of Sting tonight and tells Gunner they might as well hand him the world title. He has the rest of the night off apparently. Abyss is reading his book which Ray thinks is adult in nature. He can’t find his mask and freaks out.

Scott Steiner vs. Sting

We do big match intros but Steiner jumps Joker Sting in the corner before they get through either name. Belly to belly gets two. Sting starts a comeback but Scott counters the Splash in the corner and goes for the Recliner. That gets reversed into the Scoprion but Scott gets the ropes. T-bone suplex puts Sting down but another charge misses and the Death Drop ends this at 4:40.

Rating: C-. Pretty weak main event here as the new member of Immortal gets dominated for the most part here. He got in some stuff but Sting more or less brushed it off and didn’t even break a sweat in doing so. Not terrible or anything but really just kind of there, which isn’t a good thing for the main event.

Sting goes for the makeup/paint but Ray makes the save. Anderson comes out for an ugly Mic Check on Sting and then leaves. Immortal beats Sting down and they call in Hogan for some big right hands. Of all people Kurt Angle makes the save. Didn’t see that one coming. Angle stares Hulk down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another good show tonight as they’re on a hot streak at the moment. I’m really not sure what that says because this streak has been going on since they stopped the majority of their regular stuff and brought in a bunch of guys that haven’t been around in awhile. Definitely an entertaining show though with some decent matches and advancement of the angles. Not great but by Impact standards I was well pleased.

Invasion
Date: July 22, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,964
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

So this is easily the most requested show since I’ve stated doing the reviews so I might as well get it out of the way. This is the infamous INVASION of the WCW/ECW Alliance. Since I’ve already explained my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole in the Survivor Series 2001 review the talking about it here is going to be somewhat limited but I’m sure I’ll have something to go on and on about in here somewhere.

The main event is the Inaugural Brawl, which is just a big ten man tag. Other than that the card is relatively boring other than Hardy vs. Van Dam for the Hardcore Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Roosevelt and the Nazis and Japanese Army. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Ok, I know Vince likes things big, but this is ridiculous. The logo for the show is this weird hybrid of Shane and Vince’s faces. It’s kind of cool but more creepy.

Mike Awesome/Lance Storm vs. Edge and Christian

Hmm I wonder who is winning here. Edge and Christian’s music cuts Storm off. That’s rather amusing. I’ve always liked Storm so that has something to do with it. Edge is the reigning KOTR at the moment if that means anything to anyone. Christian and Awesome start us off. Storm vs. either of the faces could be most interesting. Edge gets down and Christian goes for a dive over the ropes. He slips though and nearly has a very bad fall.

Odd hearing WWF fans say YOU F’D UP. Awesome sans mullet is odd looking to put it mildly. Christian is getting beaten down for the most part here as you would expect. Why you would expect that I’m not sure but it sounded right in my head. Cole is really new at this whole commentary thing at this point and it shows badly. Edge gets the tag and takes out various heels. Edge rams Storm into Christian which would mean something in a few weeks/months.

The rollup only gets two though and we slow down for a bit. The crowd is hot here as they tend to be in Cleveland. Pretty decent tag match here. Awesome sets Edge for a powerbomb but Christian spears Awesome so that Edge falls on top for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Very good choice for an opener here as both teams were trying out there and it showed very well. Edge was getting hot around this time and it would have been a world title reign had a few things gone right. This was fun though and a great opener.

Vince is happy. Regal, in a collared WWF shirt and tights, says Austin is here. He gets Raven later. Well that’s an odd combination if there has ever been one.

We recap the feud between the referees. Yeah it was bad. It results in this.

Earl Hebner vs. Nick Patrick

Of all people, Mick Foley is the referee here. Yeah I don’t get it either but whatever. He’s wearing a Marvel t-shirt so I can’t complain at all. Nick comes out with an army of referees which is just funny looking. Earl does the same. It looks like the world’s weakest gang. Oh and they’re in refereeing gear.

Take a wild guess as to the quality of the work here. Do I need to offer commentary on this one? It’s a glorified lumberjack match. Foley throws out the WCW referees. Earl hits something resembling a spear for the win. Patrick gets in Foley’s face and guess what happens. I think you know the drill.

Rating: N/A. I’m not grading two non-wrestlers like I would grade regular wrestlers.

We recap Debra getting abducted on Smackdown. Debra complains about it. She makes Stephanie look like a great actress. Taker’s wife Sara isn’t much better. She’s attractive though.

We recap the APA vs. Palumbo and O’Haire. It’s tag champions vs. tag champions. Basically the APA called for the WWF locker room to join forces to fight in the war. The WCW Champions jumped them at WWF New York.

APA vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

No titles on the line here, despite them both being champions of some sort. Dang O’Haire had the look down to a science. So did Palumbo. We get a mention of Kevin Nash. He and DDP were the guys O’Haire and Palumbo beat. Teddy Long informs them they have seven minutes. Oddly enough Farrooq was managed by Long back in the day.

Oddly enough this is a pretty back and forth match. Bradshaw busts out a DDT of all things. Never seen him use that I don’t think. Farrooq gets a standing switch. This is FREAKY. Oddly enough this is pretty back and forth with no one really dominating at all. The Clothesline From JBL ends it. This never got off the ground at all.

Rating: D. Just boring stuff here. You could clearly see there was very little thought put into the matches here. These two teams just were kind of there. It’s not bad I guess, but this could have been on Superstars or something like that. Pretty weak.

Vince is with Jericho in the back and says Vince is the difference between ECW/WCW and WWF. He’s exactly right actually. Oh and Heyman sucks.

Stephanie hates Jericho. WOW her acting reaches new levels of suck. Heyman is sitting in the back and then goes off on Billy Kidman, saying he has to win this next match.

X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

It’s champion vs. champion again. This is in the X-Factor era. Yeah no one cares AT ALL. Kidman’s music was rather groovy. Pac is total heel here but he’s the face because of the company he’s in. Waltman should be good here though as he’s always good against smaller guys. Scratch that about Waltman being the face. They still hate him. I’ve always liked Cleveland.

Apparently you don’t want to be the first to lose. Dang I thought you always wanted to lose. What was I thinking? They got close to the WCW/NWO issue with the announcers being completely idiotic looking by saying one group was the crowd favorite when they were being booed out of the building. They pick it up a bit with some nice high impact stuff. Pac catches a diving Kidman coming off the top in an X-Factor.

That looked pretty stupid, but I’d think that’s because it’s the stupid X Factor. Bronco Buster is blocked with a boot to the balls. I love alliteration. That sets up the Shooting Star Press for the pin. According to Ross, the Bronco Buster is a high risk move.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great at all. The most interesting thing here was the crowd. The match itself is ok but not bad. Pac was always at his best against small guys and he was far less annoying here. Nothing great but the SSP is always sweet.

DDP babbles about nothing.

Torrie and Stacy try to sound sexy and just fail. They like the Hardys apparently.

William Regal vs. Raven

We get a brief history of Raven’s career, minus Johnny Polo that is which might be his best gimmick. It’s a slugfest to start which Regal is good at. He was very physical around this time and it always came off rather well. His feud with Jericho was a highlight of his career to me. All Regal so far. That forearm to the face that he uses for a cover is great. We get a slingshot as I wonder what the point of this was.

The fans think this is boring and I can’t really say that I disagree. It’s not bad, but this is as basic as you could imagine. They look like they’re both rookies who know very few moves at this point. It’s more or less all punches and clotheslines. They’re crisp and such, but this just isn’t that interesting. You know what it reminds me of? An old SNES wrestling game where you have like 5 moves and everyone has the same set no matter what their size is.

The boring chant is really loud now. You can tell there is no story here at all. Raven gets thrown to the floor and for zero explained reason, Taz runs out and hits a suplex on Regal to allow Raven to hit the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D-. Just like I said before, this was just boring. I have no idea what the point was here but this didn’t come off well. It was just a wrestling match, but with this being a PPV, this wasn’t acceptable for me.

Taker and Kane get a pep talk from Vince. Taker doesn’t like Vince talking about his wife.

Billy Gunn/Albert/Big Show vs. Kanyou/Hugh Morrus/Shawn Stasiak

Again, what in the freaking heck is the thought process on this show? It makes no sense at all. This was made on Heat. Oh and Albert is IC Champion here. He’s still in X-Factor and the song is still awesome. Stasiak is using Mr. Perfect’s gimmick, down to the music. It was idiotic. In a cool spot we get a triple press slam from the WWF guys. Gunn and Kanyon start us off. This was Billy Gunn push #2837G.

Kanyon does an odd combination from a Russian legsweep into a Stroke. Nicely done. We get the traditional melee and Albert hits a bicycle (Pump kick that Sheamus uses) kick to Shawn and by hits I mean misses Shawn completely but has it sold anyway. This is pretty much all Albert.

Fameasser hits on Morrus. For you newer fans, Morrus is more commonly known as Bill Demott. Stasiak hits a reverse DDT so Morrus can get the pin. This was a MESS. Show hits chokeslams all around post match. Show debuts the Alley-Oop which he should do more often as it looked pretty cool.

Rating: F+. Just horrid here and I have even less clue what the booking here was supposed to be. This was a weird choice to say the least and I guess it was to showcase the WWF guys but it came off like a bunch of jobbers beat them. Made no sense.

Shane talks to Booker and says the Alliance (not named that yet but close enough) is up 4-3 because of Chavo beating Scotty on Heat. That answered a LOT of questions actually as no one got how later in the Alliance said they had an extra win. I was at a friend’s house watching this and we spent 40 minutes after the show trying to figure it out. We had lists of matches and charts etc going and NO ONE got it. Yeah I’m just killing time now.

Regal fires Tajiri up.

Taz vs. Tajiri

This was the ECW Title match at I think Heat Wave 99 and it was a glorified squash. Apparently Tajiri is popular for staying in the WWF. Ok then. Hey they actually mentioned the Heat Wave match! Sweet I’m not insane. Taz hooks a bunch of suplexes and submissions, which makes me think instantly that Tajiri will win. In at least the last two matches and maybe more, the guy or guys that dominate early loses in the end.

Handspring elbow gets a BIG pop. Didn’t see that one coming. We hit the floor for all of 5 seconds and I’m bored out of my mind. The Tarantula helps that a bit. Tajiri kicks the tar out of Taz for a LONG two. Those kicks are LOUD too. Just as it’s getting good, the mist hits as does a kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This got really good for like 30 seconds. Other than that though it just wasn’t interesting at all. Again, I don’t get the point in these 5-6 minute matches with zero point to them at all. Could have been a lot worse though.

Jeff and Matt talk about Jeff’s match with Van Dam. Van Dam pops up and cracks the HECK out of Matt with a chair. That sounded great.

Hardcore Holly is at WWF New York and gets on a plant for wearing a WCW shirt.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Why all the TNA on TNA violence? RVD’s outfit is tiger print of all things tonight. He looks like Tony the Tiger in spandex. This should be fun. Hardy isn’t a huge deal yet but he’s in the midcard. Van Dam is WAY over. Crowd is red hot for this as it was more or less the second featured match on the card. Hardy goes for his run the rail spot and Van Dam makes the stop by jumping up on it to stop him. Nice.

Into the crowd now. This is totally sloppy and totally a mess but since it’s a hardcore match, it’s working rather well actually. The crowd is helping it a lot also. Van Dam takes a bow which is a very nice touch. With Van Dam on the apron, Hardy slingshots over the ropes into a powerbomb to the floor. Sweet looking spot and it’s ladder time. This had to happen. In another sick spot, Hardy is on the top of the ladder, and I mean the big one, and is pushed off and crashes to the floor.

This was what gave us the “How do you learn to fall off a 20ft ladder” soundbyte. In another, say it with me, sick spot, Van Dam is crouched but jumps into the air for a Van Daminator that looked GREAT. It knocked Hardy through the hole into the stage to the floor. We’ve reached the part where it’s just them beating the living crap out of each other and the fan are flat out eating it up.

The belt is in the ring as Hardy gets a nice German Suplex. Jeff is bleeding a bit. Swanton misses. With Jeff down, Van Dam puts the belt on Hardy’s chest and hits the 5 Star for the pin. Fun match.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match where you have to consider what was going on out there. This wasn’t meant to be a mat clinic or anything. This was about high impact, high intensity over the top spots and that’s what the fans got. This was fun and the crowd loved it. Great match.

Angle is annoyed for some reason. He says he’ll destroy tonight.

We actually have a video package about the bra and panties tag match. Seriously? Short version: Trish and Lita hate each other because of them trying to steal the Hardys from each other. Torrie and Stacy do the same thing. Yeah let’s just get to it. See, the thing they never could get around was that Torrie and Stacy had no talent other than looking good. Trish and Lita at least could fight.

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

Stephanie gives the pep talk. That’s amusing. Heyman takes over which is a major upgrade.

Austin is acting like himself.

We recap this, which started with Shane buying WCW. They finally switched the roles as a face had WCW and a heel had WWF. Then one night Vince said he was tired of this so he said let’s have a match. The five guys he picked were ECW guys, you get the rest. Dreamer and Van Dam debuted that night. Austin had been an idiot since he turned heel so he started being the old Austin again.

More or less he kept saying he wouldn’t be his old self until he said he’d do it. No big moment of clarity or anything. He just changed his mind. Yeah there wasn’t much of a story other than they don’t like each other, but did there need to be? Oh and DDP stalked Taker’s wife. Stephanie being revealed as the ECW owner is one of my favorite moments ever. Oh and Freddie freaking Blassie showed up for a pep talk.

Inaugural Brawl: Team WWF vs. Team WCW/ECW

WWF – Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Kane, Undertaker
WCW/ECW – Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, Dudley Boys

All three Alliance bosses get entrances. Now Vince gets an entrance. It’s been over 12 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not even to the wrestlers’ entrances yet. So yeah for you trivia buffs, this is the other non-ECW PPV that the Dudley Boys main evented. Kane and Taker were still kind of tag partners at this point but not really. So apparently Taker and Kane are balanced out by the Dudley Boyz? Ok then.

Oh and this is just a ten man tag. No special rules or anything like that. And pay no attention to the fact that both Taker and Kane (albeit as a jobber) used to work for WCW. Rhyno makes it the third ECW guy in a row. Talk about a push that died after this. Next is Jericho, who is about as opposite of Rhyno after this show as you could ask of anyone. Stephanie and Jericho was one of the funniest feuds I can ever remember.

Booker is US and World Champion at this time but he would hand the US Title to Kanyon soon after this. This just feels entirely thrown together. Sting is mentioned on a WWF PPV for likely the only time ever. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music is just hilarious. Angle gets a HUGE pop despite going the wrong way down the ramp.

The level he reached about two months from now was insane. DDP is apparently the biggest deal in the Alliance. Dang did they ever jump the gun here. The 9 mentioned start fighting in the aisle and we have Austin. Notice a certain one sidedness here?

Austin and Rhyno start us off. Austin hits a superplex off the top. Sweet goodness. Jericho gets a NICE pop for the tag. Booker, the only one of the WCW/ECW guys to get a legit push in WWF comes in. Angle gets another great pop. This was after the peak the company had a few months earlier, but it was still a huge deal. This evolves into your standard big time tag match with various people beating on each other with no one really controlling for a ton of time.

DDP hits a Stunner on the top rope on Taker to finally get something resembling control. Austin works on a wristlock on Booker. There’s something you don’t see everyday. We’ve been at this for about ten minutes now and there hasn’t been any long term control. There isn’t much to say here either though as it’s exactly what you would expect it to be. Heyman is awesome at being completely evil when he has to be.

Angle is in some trouble here and the Spinarooni hits. Page hits a spinning powerbomb on Angle which is one of my favorite moves. So after nearly 20 minutes we get to the traditional face in peril sequence of the match. We go old school with Austin getting the tag but the referee didn’t see it. I love things like that. Diamond Cutter on Angle and it gets NO reaction. Cole of course calls it a neck breaker while Ross, 10 seconds after it, says the name right.

And here is the brawl that you knew was coming. Rhyno hits the Gore on Booker and Taker finally gets his hands on DDP again. Chokeslam to Page. Booker and Austin fight on the floor while the WCW referee gets a Last Ride. Taker and DDP go into the crowd while Austin’s knee is messed up after going into the steps. Kane is fighting both Dudleys.

That’s how you can tell Taker is a bigger deal than Kane: when Taker did that, they got their own match. It’s table time. Kane hits a chokeslam through the announce table on D-Von. He got him UP there too. Rhyno and Bubba put Kane through the Spanish Announce Table. Good to see a tradition still alive. Jericho puts Rhyno through the table the Dudleyz set up. Booker and Angle are the only guys still conscious. Oh and Bubba also.

The referee is still looking at Austin’s knee. Yes I’m listing a lot of play by play but you have to here so you know what’s going on. Angle fights off Booker and Bubba with an ankle lock and the Angle Slam, back when it was a good finisher, respectively. And there goes the referee. Cue the finish. Vince grabs the WWF Title and throws it to Angle. Shane gets it though and down goes Vince.

It’s Booker vs. Angle now. Angle hits his pair of finishers on him, Austin throws the referee in, kicks Angle in the head, Stunner, pin, WCW/ECW wins. Austin turned heel again, shocking JR despite him having done the same thing TWO AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Austin and the three Alliance leaders have beers to end the show.

Rating: B. This did something I didn’t think it did: it made the far weaker WCW/ECW team look legit. This was all about making WWF look like they were in danger and it did that. WWF never had the advantage in the whole match until the very end. WCW/ECW controlled this as they should have.

Austin turning heel had to be done given the totally rushed nature of this angle but that’s neither here nor there. The match wasn’t terrible either, so I’d say this was a success. Not a classic or anything, but a success.

Overall Rating: B-. Now think about this for a minute. Yes, most of the matches completely sucked. Actually all but like 3 did. However, this was based around the main event. I don’t recall any other matches other than the hardcore title one being advertised. Oh and Bra/Panties. Other than that, this show wasn’t up to a high quality in the ring because it didn’t need to be.

This was about two things: the main event, and making WCW/ECW look like a threat. Once the PPV ended, no one cared who won the matches or who was even in them. All that mattered was the Alliance won the night and the main event in particular. This definitely isn’t a show you would want to watch for the show itself, but the main thing here is that the huge angle got rolling.

Now to be fair, the angle bombed about as ten times as much as anyone on the planet could have asked it to, but no one knew that at the time. This should have been an angle that went on for at least a year or two, not five months. Anyway, if this was any other show, it would be a C- at best. However, this was a historical show, and as a stand alone show I thought it was successful. On a long term basis though, bad. Like, really bad. Other than for historical issues though, I wouldn’t sit through it.

NXT
Date: June 28, 2011
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

It’s another elimination week to get us down to the final two which will hopefully end soon after that.  The final three are Darren Young, Conor O’Brian and Titus O’Neil.  It seems like the competition is Titus’ to lose here but you never know with this show.  That being said, I’d probably bet on O’Brian to win it because we all want to see him for another four months down the road right?  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Darren Young who now has no pro as Chavo has left.  Young says that Chavo quit because he couldn’t handle the fact that his rookie was better.  Young points out how he’s faced Cena and main evented Summerslam this year which is something Chavo has never done.  True actually.

O’Brian comes out to say that after tonight, Young is done.  He promises utter destruction.

Darren Young vs. Conor O’Brian

They fight over a tieup to start and head to the floor.  Hot crowd tonight too.  Back inside and Conor takes over with a clothesline.  A shoulder by O’Brian gets two.  Young hits a neckbreaker on the apron and both guys are down as we take a break.  Back with O’Brian escaping a cravate but getting thrown down for two.  Off to a neck crank by Young which doesn’t last long.

Kozlov isn’t here tonight either apparently as he’s in Australia with the Raw roster.  Chinlock doesn’t work long and O’Brian hits a slingshot to send Young into the corner.  Young hits the ropes and gets his head kicked off by a big boot.  That looked good.  Regal brings up the point that these guys know each other way too well.  Young hits Three Amigos to the biggest heat he’s gotten since he had a big yellow N on his chest.  A Frog Splash ends this a few seconds later at 8:45.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and that big kick was the biggest part of the whole thing.  The lack of pros actually helped a lot here as it was just a competition rather than about the pros, which is the point of the show.  O’Brian is still dull but if he can get even a single move going for him it’s an improvement.

Tatsu is at his shrine with his action figure again and Kidd comes up and breaks it.  They have a match later but Yoshi jumps him and attacks him until he’s pulled off.

Tyson Kidd vs. Yoshi Tatsu

TYSON’S HAIR IS GONE!  He cut that little thing off his head and it’s due to Bret pulling on it apparently.  Yoshi is all ticked off and hammers away to start, sending Kidd to the floor.  HARD chops in the corner and Kidd is in trouble.  Kidd comes back, hitting what looked like a forearm off the middle rope.  On the floor he hits a dropkick to send Yoshi into the steps as we take a break.

Back and we’re in a chinlock by Kidd.  He works the arm and gets two off a hammerlock suplex.  Big kick into the arm has Yoshi in agony.  Fujiwara Armbar goes on which is becoming a very popular move anymore.  Yoshi starts his comeback with his variety of kicks.  Big kick gets a close two as the fans are into this again.  They go up and Kidd is shoved off.  He manages a dropkick to crotch Yoshi though and a top rope rana gets two.  I would have bet on that being the ending.  Rollup gets two for Yoshi.  Another big kick finally ends Kidd at 9:20.  Abrupt ending but rather good.

Rating: B. For NXT, this was AWESOME.  They were allowed to go out there and beat the heck out of each other.  Those kicks and 2 counts were great and I really didn’t know who was going to win there at the end.  Sick high kick to put Kidd down at the end also made this a very good match and one of the best NXT matches I’ve seen in a long time.

JTG is getting ready and here’s Horny in a trashcan which he’s able to walk in somehow.  O’Neil comes up to stop an attack because he’s only trying to steal the gold jewelry because he’s a leprechaun.  They get in an argument over what it’s made of.  I give up.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Maryse is on commentary here for no reason other than “she feels like it”.  O’Neil throws him around as Regal and Maryse argue a bit.  Horny has a note for Maryse and it’s in English apparently.  It’s an old school style of do you love me?  Circle one.  We hear about the required height to date Maryse as JTG takes over a bit.  Maryse is taking pictures as O’Neil fights back.  JTG is sent to the floor and almost runs into Horny.  He gets on the apron and poses at JTG.  Back in the ring the Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:20.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here as Titus continues to be so far and away better than everyone else in this season it’s unreal.  Nothing of note here as JTG is still a jobber, no matter which way he’s leaning on the face/heel spectrum.  Maryse was far more of the focus here than the match and I can’t say I blame them here.

Maryse rips up the letter post match.

Raw Rebound eats up some time.  They only talk about the main event and the Punk promo though.  That’s still awesome stuff, but it makes me think Cena wins clean at the PPV.  Just parts of it here though instead of whole thing due to time.  Most of the controversial stuff here is gone.

Grisham says that Punk has been suspended indefinitely and Vince might be on Raw.

Time for the elimination and thankfully O’Brian is gone.  He asks Hunter (HHH I presume) for a chance to play the game.

But wait we’re not done yet because someone else is going to the finals.  Derrick Bateman is back and Bryan is his pro again.  What in the world?  Why are they adding someone else NOW?  Do they really want to extend this even further?  I’m going to be at the show on August 2.  There better be a new season by then.

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this was the best episode of NXT in months.  There were good matches and the crowd was red hot all night.  O’Brian finally being gone is the right choice because you could make a case for Young or O’Neil winning the whole thing.  Bateman being added is uh….puzzling.  At least he was funny during his time here so it’s not too bad.  Good show this week that flew by in a good way.

Results

Darren Young b. Conor O’Brian – Frog Splash

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – High Kick

Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

Conor O’Brian was eliminated in 3^rd place.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2011
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s Raw Roulette tonight, meaning Spin the Wheel Make the Deal for you old school WCW fans.  In short it’s a lot of gimmick matches, determined by a likely rigged wheel.  We’re building towards Punk vs. Cena at the PPV and also towards the MITB ladder match which is likely to see some qualifying matches tonight.  Also Shawn Michaels is here tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Booker T is operating the wheel.

Here’s Shawn to open things up.  He says he promised he’d stay away but he can’t quite leave all this.  He did it for 20 years and you can’t just stop cold turkey.  Shawn is still the headline, the showstopper, the main event, Mr. Wrestlemania and now Mr. Hall of Fame.  He insists he’s not the guest host but is just a guy that’s here.  The last thing he’s going to do is tell you about a new show he has on the Outdoor Network which debuts tomorrow night at 11:30 PM.  He’s not going to point out his Twitter which is listed on the screen.

Shawn is interrupted by Punk and Nexus minus Ryan who apparently was hurt over the weekend.  Punk talks about how Shawn has an addictive personality and can’t stay away.  He reminds us that he’s leaving on the 17^th.  He says he’s going to leave a winner, which Shawn says you might want to ask Cena about.  After some more insults, Shawn gets a great line in by saying that the people cheer him because they know he’s better than Punk.  Punk wants to know if that’s a challenge.  Shawn says they’re not alike even though they have similarities.  Shawn says they both have their own styles and Otunga’s head is kicked off.

An E-Mail says Punk has the first match tonight so let’s spin the wheel.  Booker lists off some possible matches: on a pole, guest referee, cage, submission, pillow fight etc.  We spin the wheel and it lands on a question mark.  That means he has a mystery opponent, in the form of Kane who just happens to be standing next to the wheel.  Shawn gets Sweet Shoulder Music to McGillicutty and here’s Kane.

Kane vs. CM Punk

The bell is after the break.  Before we come back there’s a video about Mark Henry and then Henry putting Kane through the table last week is mentioned.  I wonder if that’s hinting at what’s coming.  They hit the floor with Kane totally dominating.  Clothesline in the corner and a side slam get two.  Punk manages to guillotine him on the top rope and a high kick puts Kane down.

Punk hammers away and tries to kick at the leg a bit, only for Kane to grab a chokeslam attempt.  Punk escapes but Kane takes him down anyway.  Top rope clothesline is broken up so Punk tries a superplex.  That doesn’t work but Punk rolls to the floor to avoid the clothesline.  Punk walks out for the countout at 4:16, saying that he doesn’t care which makes sense for him.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here at all as it was mainly just to play up the whole Punk is leaving so he doesn’t care at all.  That makes sense and could prove interesting over the next few weeks.  The match itself meant nothing and wasn’t very interesting as a result, which gets annoying quickly.

Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne

This is the make up match from last week when they screwed up the voting thing.  It’s also a roulette match with the stipulation of….something that is going to be determined after they get confused.  They ring the bell with Justin Roberts still in the ring and before the wheel is spin.  Even in some Daisy Dukes is with Booker and it’s no countout.  They start on the mat until Cara speeds things up with his insane flying stuff.

They head to the floor and then roll back in almost at the same time.  Bourne gets his double stomp to the chest for two.  Handspring elbow misses and Bourne misses a jumping kick.  Rana sends Bourne to the floor and Cara hits a HUGE suicide dive.  The crowd is into this also.  Bourne counters a spinning something into a headscissors to take over and we go back inside.

Cara avoids a dropkick and gets a rollup for two.  La Magistral gets two for Cara.  A spinning crossbody which wound up with Cara landing with his back on Bourne’s chest for two.  Standing moonsault gets two for Evan.  Shooting Star misses and Cara gets his spinning mat slam for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: B-. Cara is getting better with fewer botches, even though it seemed like Bourne was shaken up on the ending.  They did the right thing here and let them go, but a few more dives would have made it far better.  Still though, there was enough there to make it fun and the fans were way into it which is the whole point.

Kofi gets to spin the wheel to determine what kind of match he has with Ziggler next.  Vickie comes in to spin it for him and it’s Player’s Choice, meaning Kofi gets to pick the match.  He goes with Vickie is barred from ringside.

Instead of qualifying matches we’re just going to be told who the participants in MITB are going to be.  For Raw:

Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne. Alberto Del Rio, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Alex Riley, The Miz.  No Dolph?  Interesting.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Vickie tries to come out and is sent to the back.  WWE really needs to find something else for these two to do.  Dolph hits the floor almost immediately and tries to walk out like Punk did, only for Kofi to stop him and bring him back towards the ring.  Dolph sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding a chinlock.  Fameasser gets two.  Kofi reverses a half nelson slam into a small package for two.  Slugout is won by Kingston but Ziggler gets a big boot up.   He throws Kofi into the ropes but Kofi bounces off the top and a sweet Trouble in Paradise ends this at 7:35.

Rating: C. Match was mostly in the commercial but that kick to end it was pretty sweet.  I guess we’re going to get another match between these two later on because we haven’t seen it enough yet.  These two desperately need something new to do and they have for a very long time.  Not bad here but nothing memorable at all.

Booker recaps the first hour with Maryse next to him.  Alberto comes in and complains about having to face Show again.  Alberto hits on Maryse, asking her to spin it for luck.  The match is a steel cage match which gets a big reaction from the crowd.  Maryse leaves when she sees that.  “Tell me she didn’t just spin that.”

We get a clip of Henry slamming Show through the table at Capitol Punishment.

Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

Pin, submission or escape here.  Alberto runs for the wall almost immediately and that doesn’t work at all.  Alberto gets a boot in but can’t really follow up.  He gets a shot in to the knee and works it over which is the best strategy against Show here.  And yeah there’s Henry.  Show starts his comeback and chops away.  Chokeslam is loaded up but Alberto kicks the knee out again.

Show goes down after some more kicks but as Del Rio tries to escape he gets chopped again.  They go up on the corner and a superplex nearly breaks the ring.  And here’s Henry to try to rip the door off.  Thankfully it didn’t take as long as it did when he did it on Smackdown a few years ago.  Henry comes in and beats up Big Show, allowing Del Rio to escape at 5:23.

Rating: D. Just…no.  A cage match that lasts 5:23 and has outside interference completely misses the point of the thing.  Henry stays intimidating and interesting for about five minutes and then once he loses he goes back to being a bunch of nothing again.  One of the worst cage matches I’ve seen in a very long time.

Henry rams the door into Show who is against the wall of the cage, making it break and fall to the floor.  Show gets laid out and Henry yells a lot.  The cage breaking was cool.

We recap Kelly winning the title last week.

Nikki Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Brie vs. Kelly at MITB.  It’s a submission match.  Oh sweet mercy help up.  Nikki goes after the arm and grabs a Fujiwara Armbar.  And never mind as Kelly reverses into a Boston Crab for the tap at 1:18.  They beat Kelly down post match and Eve makes the save.

Video on Andy Levine winning Tough Enough.  He talks about getting slapped and taking the Stunner after being hired.  We see various people talking about how Andy is promising and all that jazz.

The wheel is spun for Rey’s match and it’s a tornado match.  It’s him and Riley vs. Miz/Swagger with no tagging.  Rey leaves and of all people Diamond Dallas Page pops up to push his WCW DVD.  Drew McIntyre comes up and says the old guys are taking up his TV time.  He says they have ten minutes to leave and walks into Sweet Chin Music.  Shawn wants the DVD because he never watched WCW.

The Miz/Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio/Alex Riley

No tagging remember.  Rey vs. Swagger and Miz vs. Riley are the pairings to start us off.  Mysterio and Swagger stay in the ring and Riley gets beaten down.  Miz and Swagger set up for a Doomsday Device but Miz gets crotched.  Seated senton from the apron takes down Swagger and Riley gets a hiptoss from the top for two on Miz as we go to a break.

Back with Miz and Swagger beating down Riley as Rey is already down.  Riley comes back and gets a rollup for two on Miz.  Rey tries a springboard but jumps into a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster on Miz’s knee.  Swagger and Riley fight to the floor and Miz tries s superplex but is knocked back to the mat.  Seated senton hits and the returning Swagger is sent into Miz.

Riley pulls the ropes down to send Swagger to the floor.  Big kick to Miz gets two for Rey.  Another kick sets up the 619 but Swagger breaks it up.  Riley gets a spinebuster to Swagger for what looked like three but Miz saved just in time.  Reverse DDT gets two for Miz.  Cactus Clothesline sends Riley and Miz to the floor as Swagger hits a big boot to Rey for a close two.

Gutwrench bomb is countered into the 619 which is countered into the ankle lock.  They’re in the ropes but that doesn’t matter I guess.  Riley makes the save and there’s the 619 position.  Riley drills Swagger and then the 619 hits.  Inverted (kind of) DDT sets up the top rope splash for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. This got a lot better as the match kept going.  Riley keeps getting pushed harder and harder which is a good sign for him.  The tornado aspect helped a lot here as it kept things from getting boring.  They let the guys do all of their stuff and the false finishes were pretty awesome too.  Pretty awesome for a TV match.

Rey might have hurt his knee.

Quick video on Shawn’s new show.

Truth spins the wheel after checking for a conspiracy.  Truth vs. Cena will be a tables match.

John Cena vs. R-Truth

Tables match here.  Truth gets a right hand to start but walks into a suplex to give Cena the advantage.  Table is loaded up but Truth beats Cena to it.  Surfboard hold goes on by Truth as the fans are split on Cena again.  Dropkick puts Truth down.  AA is blocked into the suplex into a Stunner by Truth.

Truth sets up a table in the corner as Cena is getting up.  A suplex into it is reversed though and both guys are down.  Truth charges at Cena but goes over the top and they both hit the floor.  Cena puts him into the steps and takes a table from the aisle to put in the ring.  Apparently the one that was already in there isn’t to his liking.  AA is loaded up but Punk comes out to move the table.  Cena and Punk brawl and Truth manages to hit a shoulder block/spear to put Cena through the table to end it at 5:08.  Punk is wearing an Austin shirt or a great imitation of one.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak match due to the time limit but overall these two don’t have much chemistry for the most part.  Punk was the main thing here and that’s fine.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with this because it could go anywhere for the most part, namely due to the uncertainty of whether or not Punk is leaving.  Match was worthless though.

Post match Punk sits on the stage and says he doesn’t hate Cena.  He even likes him more than most people in the back.  Cena isn’t the best though, at least not in the ring.  Punk says that Cena is only the best at kissing up to Cena.  He’s even better than Hulk Hogan was at it.  He’s not as good as Dwayne though but he’s close.  Punk says he’s the best wrestler here and has been since day one when Paul Heyman saw something in him.  He’s a Heyman guy, just like Brock Lesnar was and he left too.  There are some named you never hear anymore.

Punk talks about how he’s tired about not being on souvenir cups or on the front of the program or in movies or on a show on USA or on Conan or Fallon even though he should be.  He’s not even in the opening video of the WWE shows.  Some fans are cheering and Punk says that’s a big problem with him leaving because they’re sipping out of the cups he’s not on.  He’s winning the title and might defend it in New Japan or Ring of Honor.  “Hi Colt Cabana.”  Vince is a millionaire and not a billionaire because of the idiots he surrounds himself with.

Punk says that the company might be better off when Vince is dead because then the company is going to his idiot daughter and worthless son-in-law.  He has a personal story about the bullying campaign and his mic is cut off, ticking him off before they cut the cameras and end the show.  This was mind blowing stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was right in the middle but some of the matches are good enough for the show to work.  I’m not a fan of the gimmick shows for the most part, especially three in a row.  The tornado tag was rather good and hopefully sets up Miz vs. Rey which is a feud we haven’t seen before.  Thankfully next week we get back to the regular stuff which I’ve missed over the past month.  Not bad show here but there were definitely bad parts to it.  Punk’s promo pushed this up from a C+.

Results

Kane b. CM Punk via countout

Sin Cara b. Evan Bourne – Headscissors into a mat slam

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Del Rio escaped the cage

Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Boston Crab

In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede
Date: July 6, 1997
Location: Saddledome, Calgary *dramatic pause* Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 12,151
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Well, KOTR has passed. Your highlights are Steve Austin and the returning Shawn Michaels have beaten Owen and the Bulldog for the tag belts. This happened on a Raw but I’m too lazy to go back and correct it. As for the PPV, HHH is your new King of the Ring, and Taker is pretty much fighting every big named heel on the roster. Austin’s war with the Hart Foundation has reached a boiling point and here is your blowoff to the biggest part of it.

Since Austin has no friends, he pretty much found four guys that hate the Harts just as much as he does: Goldust, who was feuding with Pillman (I think), Shamrock was feuding with no one in particular but would soon begin a feud with Smith, and the LOD was feuding with the former tag champions for all of two days.

Other than that, the only big match is Taker vs. Vader for the WWF Title. The issue with a ten man tag for your main event is simple: we’re looking at a four match card on a PPV. That’s a stretch even for these shows. This show is praised for its crowd involvement, with Bret himself saying it’s one of his all time favorites. I haven’t seen this show in almost 12 years so we’ll see how it holds up.

As a side note, this is the end of the traditional IYH formula. After this, IYH would be the subtitle, such as the next show which is Ground Zero: In Your House. It would also be the last two hour show, so these reviews will get longer.

Free For All: Blackjacks vs. Godwinns

The hog men are back to being heels after I don’t think they’ve been on TV at all, so that’s a bit weird. For some reason that I don’t know, Vince and Lawler are dressed as cowboys so they’re all in JR style hats. JR looks at them like he wants to shoot them. Lawler’s headset isn’t working.

We get some graphics showing the two big matches before the intros of the teams. Taker is rocking his usual sleeveless outfit but he has the title and a cowboy hat on. It’s actually somewhere between awesome and ridiculous looking. Not sure which actually. Anyway, let’s get to this bad match, which to be fair was free so you can’t really complain about it.

The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw, which is a decent pairing as you have two big guys from Texas that are completely opposite styles: Windham has talent and Bradshaw doesn’t. Great combination as pairings like this always work best when they’re opposites. Apparently the Godwinns are heels since the LOD botches their finisher and broke Henry’s neck. Vince says the crowd will be pro-Canadian.

Lawler’s headset is fixed as he saves the commentary by saying of course they will be. THEY’RE CANADIAN! Have to love Vince’s brilliant impact. Apparently all of the Hart Family will be there tonight. Oh yeah the match. The crowd is way hot for it, but it’s a free match to get the crowd excited so what can you expect from it? There’s nothing of note here but double teaming wins it for the Godwinns.

Rating: D. It was just a five minute tag match to get things going so it wasn’t supposed to light the world on fire. It was a way to get things going, which I guess it did. Nothing to really say here.

Very nice video package talking about how things are changing in the company and there’s no more black and white but rather shades of gray. Austin is the anti-hero now but he’s so over that the company doesn’t really care. Bret is going to be god incarnate in the ring tonight and it’s just going to be fun to watch.

Best sign of the night: Brett is King. They can’t spell their hometown legend’s name right. That cracks me up.

HHH vs. Mankind

This is a rematch from the KOTR finals. My favorite entrance music plays as HHH comes to the ring. I mean just that choir singing his praises is amazing. Recap video showing how different these two are. This has spawned Foley’s face turn. Sweet goodness this crowd is hot. Foley imitates HHH’s curtsey which is just freaking hysterical.

I’ve always loved that running elbow from the apron. Who else does that? Foley is just beating the tar out of HHH here and it’s fun to watch. Apparently he’s the prime minister of Parts Unknown. I guess the Warrior is the mayor? HHH gets a freaking sunset flip. I mean really, WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THESE MOVES GO?

Rock is throwing cross bodies, HHH is sunset flipping people, Austin is coming off the top, I mean what the heck? Match gets turned around when Chyna hip tosses Mankind into the stairs where he slams his leg. A chair shot makes his leg hurt even worse. After that we get HHH working over the knee for a long time but Mankind starts his comeback with a shoulder to the balls which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.

Chyna is really getting annoying here with all of the interfering. I don’t like the constant interfering as it makes her look more important than HHH. It’s just distracting and eventually gets stupid. Finally they brawl to the floor and eventually into the crowd for the double DQ.

Rating: B-. This was a fun, hard hitting match. Any time you can get two guys to just beat the living tar out of each other with a bit of a past together, it’s almost always fun. These two had a great amount of chemistry and it would show later on when they were one on one for the world title in a few years. Great stuff here.

They keep brawling through the crowd which is almost always fun to see. HHH is going at it here and you can see the Cerebral Assassin coming out in him. He’s starting to get some definition as well so he’s really starting to transform into the Game.

We see a recap of Stampede Weekend. There was a parade and all kinds of stuff which is an annual tradition up there. There was a tug of war and a big party which really looks like it would be fun. Bret was a big guest at a rally and there were thousands of people there for him. This seriously is insane.

Bret and the Harts are in the back. Austin interrupts but Bret calls off the dogs, saying he wants it five on five later on. The crowd is hot even seeing him let alone him being in front of the camera. That main event is going to be insane.

Taka Michinoku vs. The Great Sasuke

Fink with a cowboy hat is great. We cut to the crowd and Mankind and HHH are still hammering each other. HHH is busted open but it made him madder. This is a freaking slugout. Now we get to the real match. A graphic says this is a light heavyweight match. Two things: do we really need a graphic to let us know that? We heard their weights and we can see they’re small and thin.

Also, isn’t light heavyweight an oxymoron? If you’re light, how can you be heavy? Why not just lightweight? Actually, why not you don’t have size so you’ll never be a world champion-weight? That’s the real weight class we’re seeing here as WWF tries to make their own cruiserweight division which bombed so badly that words cannot describe it. This starts out as a martial arts match which is ok I guess. Sasuke is the heel here I think.

These two are doing a bunch of random moves which are ok I guess but they have nothing on WCW. Taka however has one of my all time favorite moves as he gets a running start, jumps to the top rope, pauses while on it, and throws a huge dive. That always made me mark out. Sweet looking missile dropkick from Taka. See what I mean? It’s just random moves from all over the place. No psychology or anything involved, just random moves. Sasuke wins with a Tiger Suplex.

Rating: C-. This was wild but not particularly entertaining. This was the difference between WCW and WWF in this division: WCW built up guys over time. WWF’s division is like the women’s division now. There are no stories, very few promos, and the only matches you would ever get are contender’s matches and title matches. WCW had a whole division and not the champion against challenger of the month. It was a copy of WCW, minus the thought and the majority of the talent.

We go back to HHH and Mankind who are still fighting. They’re outside now and it’s still fun, but now we’re getting to the point of overkill. I like it so far but they don’t need to take it too far.

Recap of the Taker feud, which was supposed to be him vs. Ahmed, which is my memory and the stories I’ve heard are true, Ahmed was supposed to get the title here. However he legit got hurt and had to stay out of it. A big brawl explains this.

Vader and Bearer are in the back and a newly clean shaven and blonde Paul Bearer talks about what would become one of the best done stories of all time: Taker killing him family. Through this, we would hear of a man that would be revealed as Undertaker’s brother. His name was Kane. More on this in a few months.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Undertaker

Like I said this was thrown together due to Ahmed being hurt. Taker’s pop is of course epic, even in Canada. That shows how great he is, as Canada is notorious for booing the faces. Taker is the exception to the rule I suppose, as he is in so many other things. He comes to the ring with the I guess you’d say jacket over his ring gear. He takes it off and there it is: the WWF Title. That just looks perfect on him.

Taker starts off by punching the heck out of Vader. This is exactly what you would expect from these two: hard hitting brawling. Taker beats on him for the first 3 minutes or so but eventually Bearer gets involved and the Mastodon takes over. Vader at this time was just freaking awesome to watch but no one knew what to do with him. He wasn’t going to win the belt off a three day notice and after this he would just start flying down the card until he faded into Bolivia.

Part of this might have been due to the absolute worst nerve hold I have ever seen. Vader’s hands aren’t even clenched. It’s him with his hands on Taker’s neck and nothing more. It’s pathetic looking. There’s a serious lack of drama in this match as Taker never really seems to be in any real danger. Vader gets close of course but never puts anything big together.

He kicks Taker low right in front of the referee but there’s no DQ called. JR has no clue why there wasn’t and neither do I. I thought that was the finish actually. Anyway, Vader goes for the Bomb, Taker blocks it, hits two chokeslams and a tombstone to keep the belt.

Rating: C-. Like I said, there was no drama here. It really felt like this was a title match for the sake of having a title match, and that rarely if ever works. Now to be fair they had a week to build this up so Vader really was a last second replacement which likely takes a lot away from this. I just wanted more from this match though which pretty much sums up my feelings as a whole: I wanted more.

We get a recap of all of the stuff that the Harts have had for them this weekend. Allegedly many of the lines to just get Bret’s autograph were a mile long. Now I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it sounds amazing either way.

Video package on the history of this feud. Basic stuff here that I won’t bother going into except this: Mankind is shown fighting Bret. Why then would you put Goldust, a mid card guy, into the main event and not Mankind, a guy with main event experience? I just don’t get that.

Austin’s team is in the back. Each cuts a mini-promo and Shamrock’s is so bad. Austin says nothing and just leads them to the ring.

Austin’s Team vs. The Hart Foundation

Before the match some Canadian band sings O Canada and the crowd is on fire. Hart Family is shown at ringside. Goldust is out first to pretty much no reaction. Hearing that a team’s combined weight is over 1,300 pounds is just odd sounding. No Marlena tonight which is a good thing I think. Shamrock gets a pretty good pop. It’s not mind blowing but it’s good. Three hot women have signs that says the Harts suck. Well I’m shocked.

LOD is very over as well. That’s another gimmick that just works no matter what. And now, the captain of the team: for a guy that is supposed to be the arch rival of the national hero, the guy is pretty freaking popular. He got the biggest pop of the team and while there was booing, it was nothing compared to the cheers.

However, he just got outpopped by a mile by Brian Pillman. All five Harts get their own intro, and the fans are insane the whole time. They progressively get louder until they blow the roof off the place for Bret. His pop is one of if not the loudest I have ever heard. You all remember the sign that says if Cena wins we riot. In this case, that would be true.

The difference between Cena and Austin can be made clear right here though: Cena was visibly shaken at One Night Stand. Austin is thriving in this environment. The Harts come to the ring in unison, all wearing leather jackets. That’s a nice little touch that’s missing from so much today. Tag teams should dress alike. It just makes them look more unified to me.

There’s a great visual to start this as all ten men are in the ring but Bret and Austin are in the middle with their eyes locked on each other. All eight others just fade away and all you see are those two. That’s absolutely great. They start of course which makes me wonder if that should have been your main event: Bret vs. Austin. However, they’ve fought so many times and the crowd is so hot for his, I can’t really see how it would be better.

The ten man is the right decision. Bret actually wins the fist fight to start as the crowd is orgasming on every move. Austin comes back though, beats Bret into the corner, flips the crowd off and THEN whips Bret in. See what he did there? He got a little extra heat going, but it didn’t take any momentum away from the match. That’s a very nice touch.

Eventually Neidhart gets tagged in. I have come to the conclusion that he is nothing more than a fondly remembered Marty Jannetty. He never did a thing on his own. Actually, Marty did more than Anvil did. That’s saying something indeed. Shamrock’s belly to belly is just freaking sweet. I’m not liking the tags at the same time thing over and over. Let us see more than just the rivals. Owen apparently has a new haircut.

It’s so new he’s had it for three months now. Dang this crowd is intense. They’re screaming, yelling, cussing, shouting obscenities at people and will not calm down for one second. You might say they’re just-insane. Bulldog actually gets the delayed suplex on Hawk. That’s quite impressive.

However, he hits the powerslam and Hawk is up within about three seconds. It was one of the worst no sells I’ve ever seen. Goldust is put into a tree of woe in the Harts corner and gets one of the worst beatdowns I have ever seen. The crowd sees him get tied up and rises to their feet.

We finally get our first wild brawl of the night as all ten guys come in. During the fracas, (that’s your big word for the day people: fracas) Owen’s leg is destroyed by Austin. Three times being slammed into the post and a chair shot. He limps to the back with the help of officials so apparently it’s 5-4 now, even though this isn’t an elimination match. Back shot of Pillman which is something I didn’t really want to see.

Bret retaliates by going after Austin’s knee, eventually using the figure four on the post, which when you think about it, doesn’t hurt much with the post. It would hurt, but not as bad as they would like it to. Austin goes to the back too as this is very one sided now. That’s a tactic I use when I write OCW multi-man matches. Ten guys are just too many to work with so I’ll shorten the amount of people in the match.

Vince calls the Harts a nationalistic faction. WELL DUH VINCE! Bulldog beats the living tar out of Shamrock and the crowd is exploding to say the least. Once Goldust comes in, JR does a GREAT Dusty Rhodes impression but I’m not sure how many people would pick up on it. It’s so subtle that it’s hard to catch. Austin comes back out and it’s him vs. Bret again and Austin is beating the tar out of him.

According to Ross, Austin is being excellently executed. That’s a good little line. Austin calls spots to Bret but the beauty of Austin’s character is you could believe that he’s talking trash to him. Bret is in a sharpshooter as Owen comes back to the ring. Soon thereafter, the Hart brothers at ringside get involved by punching Austin and jumping the rail. Within a few seconds it’s a wild brawl and Owen rolls up Austin for the pin.

Post match, we have another wild brawl and for some reason security does nothing to the fans that jumped the railing and lets them get in the ring and celebrate. Austin of course runs back into the ring as the Harts are celebrating with a chair and gets his head handed to him. Lawler’s hatred for Bret will simply never go away.

Of course, Austin is handcuffed instead of the other Harts and is taken away by security. The logic in WWF makes me shake my head at times. Stu gets into the ring afterwards and the crowd is gone completely. There’s almost thirty Harts and all of them come into the ring. Make that fifty. The Harts’ praises are sung as we go off the air.

Rating: A. This was a great ten man match for many reasons, but the one that is forgotten is the wrestling itself. I wasn’t bored once during this match and as someone that can’t stand tags to end a show, that’s saying a lot. It’s probably the best non-gimmick team match I’ve ever seen. I really liked it and the crowd carried this for the most part, which wasn’t actually needed.

Overall Rating: A. The obvious big flaw with the show is that it’s just four matches. However, the weakest by far is the light weight match, which was at least watchable. It’s far from bad, just not that great. The main event is of course the best on the card with a crowd as hot as I have ever seen. Great show, maybe not all time great, but certainly great and probably the best In Your House so far. At worst, it’s second to Mind Games only.

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

So this is the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi which I found online out of boredom. Since I’m getting dangerously close to the end of the ECW PPVs, I figured I’d do the first and last shows of ECW on Sci-Fi and TNN just for the heck of it. This show is considered a miserable failure so let’s find out why. The main event is a battle royal to determine who fights Cena at Vengeance. ECW came back officially two days before this so it’s brand new and this is the big debut. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the second One Night Stand which was where the If Cena Wins We Riot sign debuted. Cena says he’ll be on ECW tonight, thereby killing ECW on its opening night. This was supposed to be the real ECW but you could tell that was never going to happen a few seconds after it debuted.

Heyman opens us up here and brings out RVD. They even have the hole in the brick wall entryway. RVD is WWE Champion here, having won it two nights ago. His voice reminds me of a less depressed Vin Diesel for some reason. They keep saying he’s the champion without saying WWE. Heyman declares him the ECW World Champion. Taz says no one knows what RVD is feeling. I think that should say no one knows why RVD never won the title in the original ECW. He says he’s just going to defend both titles. Van Dam wants the other one because it spins.

And here’s the #1 contender: Edge. Edge is ok because he could have made it in the original ECW I think. He cost Cena the title at Vengeance so he’s WAY over. Edge spears him after complimenting him. He goes through the crowd and Cena is behind him. RVD and Cena fight over who gets to beat up Edge. This of course allows Edge to escape. And remember, this is ECW. Pay no attention to the argument going on over the WWE Title with WWE guys.

After a house show ad, Heyman gives a speech to the locker room and says they’re invading Raw on Monday. You know it might work better if you didn’t say it on national TV.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

And this right here is where ECW died completely. Since they could only get on Sci-Fi, they tried to get more sci-fi stuff on the show, hence this. And cue Sandman to not Metallica. Styles and Taz don’t even try to take this seriously. This is like a bad indy show joke or something. Sandman canes the tar out of him to a great pop and the White Russian Leg Sweep ends this in like 10 seconds. Dust flew off of Zombie. No rating obviously.

Kelly is an exhibitionist and wants to take off all of her clothes.

DX is coming back. On ECW. Shoot me. Better yet shoot Heyman as he doesn’t deserve this.

We see the whole Taz destroying King match from the PPV two days ago. It’s a 30 second squash but we see the whole thing, including intros.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch. Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out everything he had planned and we’re having an extreme battle royal for the shot against Cena at Vengeance.

Read the Rise and Fall of ECW.

An unnamed character (Kevin Thorn) looks up at the ECW sign as Joey and Tazz say he couldn’t be what they think he is (vampire).

Kelly comes out to strip for us. She only has one name so far. She gets down to her underwear and unhooks her bra and puts her hands over her chest and leaves. Was there a point to that at all?

Extreme Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Big Guido, Little Guido, Stevie Richards, Big Show, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Al Snow, Tony Mamaluke, Balls Mahoney

So despite Heyman saying 10 there are 11. Sure why not. The weapons are all on the floor which completely goes against the logic of a battle royal. Balls has a bad cover of AC/DC. Show has hair here. That’s not something I’m used to. Wait didn’t he get his head shaved before this? Everyone runs from Show and it’s almost impossible to keep track of who is eliminated and who is just running. Roadkill takes a fallaway slam and we go to a break. No one has been eliminated since they all went through the ropes. We get some token weapons shots and I want this to end.

Taz tries to play this off as being more extreme than anything else and I feel sorry for him. Sabu sets up a table. Everyone jumps Show and it does nothing at all. Show puts out Snow. And Doring. Uh Richards too. Might as well say Roadkill too. Balls Mahoney is number five. This is all in a row so I’m not skipping anything. Dreamer goes after Show with something made of metal and of course it does jack. He goes through a table on the floor. It’s Show, the FBI and Sabu. Show puts all three of the non-fake Arabians out in about 45 seconds and then Sabu hits him while he’s on the ropes to win it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet mama this was bad. Show literally eliminated everyone other than Sabu in less than 4 minutes. There’s domination and then there’s this. One of the worst battle royals ever to fittingly close out one of the worst hours ever.

Overall Rating: G. This is one of those weird shows that actually goes beyond failing and blazes new territory. Other than the main event if you want to call it that, the longest match was less than 100 seconds long. One match had a zombie and one was from a PPV so it wasn’t even new. They had no freaking clue what they were doing with this and it showed badly. They more or less redid the whole thing the next week when this bombed so terribly. Not even worth it for the historical value. Terrible show.

Smackdown
Date: June 24, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

First show after Capitol Punishment which will likely see more continuation in Orton vs. Christian.  Other than that it’s kind of hard to say as there aren’t many other big time feuds going on this show.  Maybe some more Rhodes vs. Bryan which has been solid and perhaps an IC Title match from Jackson.  Unfortunately it’ll probably just be a rematch with Barrett which doesn’t sound all that thrilling.  Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine is finding a copy of this show this week.

Here’s Teddy.  I wonder how his arms still work with how far he swings them.  He says that the title match on Sunday had a controversial ending and for once he’s right.  Teddy calls out Christian who is all mad about the ending to the match.  We get a clip of said ending and Teddy agrees that it was a bad call.  He apologizes to the fans but the decision stand.

Christian freaks because HE deserves the apology, not the fans.  He says he deserves another title match because of not only that but also what Orton did after the match.  Teddy says Orton committed actions unbecoming of a champion.  The Canadians wants another shot and Teddy says you have to earn it.  The decision was bad, but it was also final.  Christian has to earn his shot tonight against Kane.  Christian yells a lot as Teddy leaves.

I was right.  Barrett gets his rematch tonight.

Shawn will be on Raw.  Also, Sin Cara vs. Bourne due to the votes being messed up.

Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase

Apparently DiBiase has celebrity friends now.  There go the lights again.  Booker calls Teddy a follower and apparently he’s following Cody because he can’t help it.  Cara speeds things up and the fans are way behind him.  Nice dive to the floor which looked a bit edited.  Back in and DiBiase gets a dropkick to counter a springboard cross body for two.  DiBiase gets a HARD kick to the head to take over even more.

Following clothesline gets two.  Cara gets his feet up in the corner and hits a middle rope dropkick for two.  Things speed up a bit and Cara gets a rana to take over.  Dropkick puts Ted down again and a pretty nice armdrag.  He tries a springboard….something, but is caught in a sitout spinebuster for two.  Cara hits the ropes again and goes into a headscissors, spinning around multiple times before he slams DiBiase down into a crossface position but instead covers for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C. I know Cara is huge in Mexico and can spin around a lot, but he needs to actually have a story and an actual match rather than just flipping around a lot and doing a collection of moves.  It’s really not a match and it’s getting a bit old.  Not horrible, but it’s getting repetitive.

We get a clip of Bryan getting paper bagged on Raw by Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan

Cody comes out first and says he loves chocolate.  He calls this town the modern day Sodom because it makes more chocolate than anywhere in the world, making everyone fat and ugly.  Booker is handed a bag, cracking up Cole.  Bryan interrupts and says he’s sick of this.  He makes fun of the mask, saying Cody should put the cup in his pants, not on his face.  Looks aren’t everything and his proof is a picture of Cody’s pop, Dusty Rhodes.  He looked horrible but was interesting and charismatic, which are things that Cody isn’t.  Bryan thinks Cody is a bitter and arrogant jerk who will never live up to his father’s standards.

Those are of course fighting words and as the bell rings, Cole is using a paper bag like a puppet because he’s….uhhh….stupid.  Oh it’s a Booker puppet.  You can tell because it has the word Booker on the top of it.  Bryan reverses La Magistral into a pinning combination for two.  Cody gets sent to the floor and is all ticked off over it.  DiBiase comes out for moral support I guess as we take a break.

Back with Cody sending him to the floor.  Rhodes hammers away even more as Cole argues with Booker.  Off to the arm and then into a Russian legsweep.  Almost all Cody so far in this other than a little bit at the beginning.  Bryan finally comes out of the corner and mostly misses a Pele-style kick.  A rana off the top with Rhodes not looking that good with it gets two for Bryan.

Bryan gets all fired up and throws his kicks.  Booker calling him D Bry is rather annoying.  LeBell Lock doesn’t work and neither does a series of rollups.  The both try cross bodies and collide hard.  Bryan takes DiBiase out but walks into the Beautiful Disaster and his leg is caught in the ropes.  Another one sets up the Cross Rhodes and we’re done at 8:53 shown of 12:23.

Rating: C+. Somewhat better here but DiBiase is weighing Cody down.  His whole psycho thing worked very well but now with Ted out there they come off like an uninteresting tag team who doesn’t team together all that often.  It’s nice to see Bryan have a feud and getting ring time though instead of just coming in and out at times.  Not bad here but I think they could do better.

Bryan is bagged again post match.

Johnny Curtis has ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise in front of him but leaves the mustard, because he can’t cut it.

Show is in the back to talk about the attack from Mark Henry, saying he’s fine.  He doesn’t have much to say to Striker.  Show says Henry was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  This results in a video about Henry for some reason.  As Show is talking some more, Henry pops up to spear him through the set and says better is better.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett jumps him in the aisle to take over.  This is pre-match I think.   The referee says he’s not ringing the bell until Zeke is on his feet.  Here we go and Barrett has a big advantage.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Jackson gets in some kicks but that’s about all as Barrett takes him down and throws on a chinlock.  Boss Man Slam gets two.

Jackson catches Barrett in a release Rock Bottom to get us back to even.  And never mind as Barrett takes over on the floor again and gets two back inside.  Barrett tries Wasteland but Jackson easily counters it into the Torture Rack and we’re done at 4:35.  Dang it I wanted to see those slams!

Rating: C. Nowhere near as good as their match Sunday but hopefully this ends things and we can move onto something else.  I wouldn’t be opposed to Jackson vs. Rhodes for awhile as Jackson is more or less all looks so there’s your story.  Barrett is in a weird place now as I don’t want to see him vs. Orton but he’s a bit bigger than the midcard.  Should be interesting.

Orton says it’s borderline comical that Christian might get another shot and he’s laughing on the inside.  He’ll face Christian again if Christian wins, but the closest Christian will get to the title is having it go upside his head.

Slater and Gabriel make fun of Barrett, who says he has big plans.  He also wants to know where they’ve been for the last few weeks.  They say they’re going to go win a rematch.

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

The Usos are embracing their wild Samoan side a big more it seems with what sounds like a tribal chant to start their music and they yell a lot.  Apparently it was a war dance they were doing.  Slater/Gabriel have new music that is pretty generic but not bad.  Gabriel starts vs. we’ll call him Jimmy.  Quickly off to Jey who gets a northern lights suplex for two.

Justin sends him to the floor and Slater adds in a dive to take over.  The former champions tag in and out rather well.  The crowd isn’t all that thrilled here but they’re trying at least.  Booker and Josh have no idea which Uso is which.  Gabriel teases a springboard but takes Jimmy’s leg out instead.  Off to a Fujiwara Armbar which doesn’t last long.  Off to Jey and Slater who is caught in a Bubba Bomb for no cover.  Oh apparently that’s Jimmy.  Does it really matter?  Jimmy pop locks or something before hitting a superkick to Slater but the top rope splash eats knees and we’re done at 4:28.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here that didn’t do much but it’s good to see actual teams go at it more than once at a time.  It won’t go anywhere as far as a feud or a division but it’s an improvement.  Pretty average TV tag match and the Usos looked good.  I don’t want to see another Wild Samoan team though.  Not sure if it would work for smaller guys.

Cena says don’t try this.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal

Khali comes into the ring but Guido hasn’t rung the bell yet in the first place.  This is a big beating and Mahal leaves Tatsu laying with a full nelson slam.  Khali sends him to the floor and the Indians stand tall.  Match never even started.  Mahal says that was just a sample and that he was born the best.  There will be no more dancing and no more kiss cam because the Eastern Winds will blow through the entire WWE.

Kane vs. Christian

I’d assume if Kane wins he gets the shot at the PPV.  Christian has to use speed to start but baldie shoves him around with ease.  Kane sends him into the buckle chest first and the beating is on.  Christian gets a right hand in but it just ticks Kane off so he pops Christian down with ease.  Christian tries some leverage stuff and guillotines Kane’s throat on the top rope.

The Canadian takes over and tries to smother Kane more or less by putting his hands over Kane’s mouth.  That’s one way to put him down.  Christian low bridges Kane and we head to the floor where Kane is rammed into the railing.  Back inside, Christian goes up and hits a swan dive to keep Kane down.  We hit the chinlock and take a break.  Back with Christian still in control and firing off some right hands.

Those don’t seem to work as Kane hits a side slam for two.  Kane takes over and hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.  Christian tries to go up and manages to hit the tornado DDT for two.  Kane gets a big boot and heads up.  Christian pulls him off, only for two though.  He throws a bit of a fit and is all upset about the kickout.  The fit ends and Christian goes up, only to jump into an uppercut for two.  Kane goes up one more time and this time the clothesline hits.  Kane calls for the chokeslam….and here’s Mark Henry for the DQ at 10:07 shown of 13:37.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here for a power vs. speed match.  Christian was jumping and using moves that with the proper momentum he was able to make look realistic, which is a very key thing for a match like this.  Christian has been on a roll lately in the ring and this was no exception.  Fun stuff.

Henry keeps beating on Kane post match and goes after Christian for a bit before they double team Kane.  Teddy comes out and says one more match, this time in a tag team match.  Orton comes out to be the partner.  Nice pop for Randy.

Kane/Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry/Christian

I guess whoever gets the pin gets the shot?  It’s not really clear.  Actually I’d bet it’s only Christian that can because there was never any mention of Kane potentially winning the shot.  Christian and Orton start us off after the break.  Orton takes over quickly and hits the knee drop for two.  Christian brings in Henry who runs through Orton and it’s back to Christian.

Ok apparently if Christian’s team wins, he gets the shot.  So what’s in this for Kane and Henry?  Henry misses a drop onto Orton’s chest and here’s Kane.  Kane is sent to the floor but guillotines Henry on the top rope for two.  There’s the top rope clothesline for two.  Henry runs over Kane too and it’s off to Christian.  He hammers on the back of Kane as this has been almost one sided.

The big fat tub of goo comes in again and gets two off a right hand.  Kane gets a chokeslam out of nowhere and both guys are down.  Double tags bring in Orton and Christian and Randy hits his chest sticking out Thesz Press.  Henry comes in but can’t get the World’s Strongest Slam.  Orton counters into an RKO attempt but is shoved into Christian who takes the RKO instead.  Henry is legal though and hits the Slam for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but after the long main event earlier that’s fine.  I just hope this doesn’t end with Henry being a challenger to Orton as he’s certainly not someone I want to see in the main event scene.  Not bad here but it was nothing we haven’t seen a hundred times before.

Christian taunts Randy with the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked it better than last week but not by much.  The main thing here is that the show is lacking that energy that they had before.  I’m not entirely sure why but it feels like they’re kind of going through the motions anymore.  The biggest issue I think is that nearly everything here is stuff we’ve seen before.  Other than Kane and Henry being added, everything has been done before, namely in the last week or so.  Not bad and better than last week but not awesome as I’m accustomed to with Smackdown.

Results

Sin Cara b. Ted DiBiase – Headscissors into a mat slam

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Rhodes

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett – Torture Rack

Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel b. The Usos – Slater pinned Jimmy with a small package

Kane b. Christian via DQ when Mark Henry interfered

Mark Henry/Christian b. Randy Orton/Kane – World’s Strongest Slam to Orton

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove