I went to my first Raw in June 2009.  On that night, The Miz was on the show.He called out John Cena in a “feud” that basically consisted of Miz calling out Cena over and over and when Cena didn’t acknowledge him, Miz declared himself the winner.  Eventually Cena beat him in basically a squash at The Bash.

 

Flash forward less than two years.  Wrestlemania just went off the air and this is the final result you see:

 

The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock

 

Who in the world would have believed you would have seen that?  Miz went from being the host of Smackdown to a chick magnet to a guy in a funny show on WWE.com to a joke tag champion to a good tag team champion to a guy who called out Cena to the US Champion to Mr. MITB to world champion, pinning Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania.

 

Oh and Rock came back and was in the main event of Wrestlemania and will be in the main event of the Royal Rumble next year.  You never know what you’re going to get.

Note that this contains spoilers for this week’s Impact so if you do not want to be surprised by it, do not read this until after Thursday’s show.The latest rumor going around is that Clair Lynch, who is portrayed by a model and actress named Julia Reilly, is quitting the company because she was embarrassed when her name and picture were shown on a wrestling message board. If this is the case, I have something I’d like to say to/regarding Ms. Reilly.

If it’s true that she’s quitting because she didn’t want to be associated with wrestling and she’s embarrassed by people knowing she works for a wrestling company, screw her. No seriously, get off my TV and never come back.

Yes, Julia Reilly, you work for a wrestling company. I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s true. I know it must suck as an actress and a model to be put on live national television every week in a featured role, which is more than probably 99% of actresses will ever get and I’m sorry you were paid to do it.

I’m a wrestling fan and I’ve been one for well over 20 years. I’m also a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Kentucky. What Ms. Reilly is saying is that people like me that watch her performances and potentially pay money out of our pockets to see the resolutions and advancements in her storylines are beneath her and she doesn’t want her name associated with us, our kind, or the thing we’re interested in watching. If this is true, then I feel no sympathy for her and I hope that someday her career fails to the point where she can’t get any other job than as someone who used to be on a wrestling show and even then gets turned away. I haven’t heard of such arrogance in a long time and it’s disgusting to me as a wrestling fan. I guess wrestling just isn’t as classy as a damsel in distress from a series who tells kids to eat their vegetables so they’ll get big and strong.

In short, get over yourself Julia Reilly. You’re not better than us and you likely never will be. I’m sorry that you think this is beneath you, because I assure you it isn’t.

WCW Saturday Night
Date: August 21, 1993
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 750
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

This was my first request via Twitter. I don’t usually do Saturday Night but the few I’ve done have gone pretty well. This is less than a month before Fall Brawl 93 so we have two world titles at the moment. Both champions are in action tonight. One has a squash, and the other has a 40 minute match against the guy who is probably his greatest rival. Let’s get to it.

Also this is three days after Clash of the Champions 24 but it was taped earlier, so we likely won’t hear much about the Clash.

Sid Vicious/Harlem Heat vs. Ron Simmons/2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell

Harlem Heat has been around like two weeks at this point. They’re Kane (Stevie) and Kole (Booker) at this point and all three heels are managed by Colonel Parker. This is just after the Heat were changed from prisoners in shackles won by Parker in a card game to street thugs. How did this company not get sued into the ground? Apparently the commentary was recorded after after the Clash or the results were given to Tony and Jesse beforehand.

Booker and Scorpio start things off with Scorpio countering a kick into a fast rollup for two. Off to Bagwell and the arm work begins. The ring is divided into sections, almost like a bunch of gym mats hooked together. Stevie comes in but Bagwell suplexes him over anyway. That’s more power than I was expecting out of him. Bagwell gets caught in a slam but an elbow misses. While the match isn’t that great, the commentary does offer a good line. Jesse: “Why do they call it an Irish Whip? Did someone from Ireland invent it?” Tony: “Uh yeah Jess.”

Off to Simmons to make it power vs. power. Stevie takes him down with a clothesline but Simmons comes back with a botched spinebuster, making it look more like a shove. The heels bail to the floor and things stop for a bit. Sid comes in and wants a test of strength with Simmons, but as any good heel would do, he kicks Simmons in the ribs instead of going through with the test. Ron is cool with that and it’s time to go after the arm. Considering it’s 1993 and this is Sid vs. Scorpio, 2 Cold is dropped face first onto the buckle pretty quickly and the bad guys take over.

The Heat double team Scorpio on the floor with a clothesline and it’s back in to Sid for a one armed chokeslam, which Tony says is like a powerbomb. Off to Booker who yells at the camera a lot and tags Stevie in again. We head to the floor and Scorpio is dropped throat first on the barricade, making him sound like a cat coughing up a hairball. Back in and Scorpio avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Sid powerbombs Bagwell to death for the pin.

Rating: C. Sid was on his way to the world title at this point and it’s pretty easy to see why. He was the perfect kind of monster giant and him vs. Vader could have been an awesome clash of the titans. Then he went insane stabbed Arn Anderson so we got Flair in the main event, which worked out fine. Harlem Heat would wind up being the most successful out of all these guys though, which shows you never know what you’ll get out of wrestlers.

The announcers talk about the Amateur Challenge, which is something kind of sort of like Tough Enough without an actual contest.

The Equalizer vs. Ron Preston

Equalizer is a big guy who would become “famous” as Dave “Evad” Sullivan. Here he’s just a big bad guy who didn’t really equalize anything. We have a two minute match here and about a minute of that is spent in a neck crank. Full nelson ends Preston.

We go to the Fall Brawl Control Center, which is the old way they used to promote the PPVs. Back then, they would actually take time to hype their matches and tell us why we should buy them, as opposed to today when they have both guys beat the other and then hope that gives us enough reason to want to see them fight a third time. We get some clips of past WarGames matches after the host of the segment says the wrong year for when the match started (it was 87, not 88).

Charlie Norris vs. Fury

So if you’ve read my stuff before from this time period, you know that I don’t really like WCW in 1993. Two of the big reasons for that are Equalizer and Charlie Norris. They were both big, strong, and absolutely AWFUL. Norris is an Indian and that’s about it. Norris hooks on an armbar as the match is ignored for the sake of talking about the PPV. In this case, I’m totally fine with that.

Fury, who is apparently part of a tag team called The Wrecking Crew, hits a clothesline and shoulder block before hooking a chinlock. Norris grabs a sunset flip for two before getting suplexed for the same. Back to the chinlock but Norris gets up, goes on the warpath, and hits a big chop for the pin. Fury by the way is Marcus Laurinitis, brother of John and Road Warrior Animal. He never did much of note.

Rating: D-. This was Norris’ Saturday Night debut, which basically would be his national debut. If that’s the case, why in the world would you have him get beaten down this long, and why would you have this match go nearly seven minutes? Like I said, 1993 in WCW was horrible and it would only go downhill from here for Norris.

We see Cactus Jack’s return promo from the Clash, which is him saying he’s back and he wants Vader. He talks about the look in the eyes of wrestlers when they face Vader. They used to look at him like that and he wants to earn that look again. This is another classic Jack promo.

Mike Thor vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd has been injured recently and is wearing a mask as a result, but tonight he’s removing it. Badd is still at the point where his character is gay but we can’t say he’s gay because it’s 1993 and you can’t do that. Johnny knocks him into the corner to start and then down onto the mat with a headlock. Off to the arm as Jesse tries to figure out what the B. in Badd’s name stands for. After some near falls, Badd takes the mask off and reveals that he’s fine before hitting the big left hand (the Tutti Fruti) for the pin.

Rating: D. This was about four minutes of armdrags and armbars. Badd would get WAY better around 1995 but he was still developing at this point. To be fair, he was a lot better than he was a year before this, as he now had an actual offensive move set outside of the punch. Also, Mike Thor is a good name for an indy guy.

Badd insists he’s still pretty.

Ice Train vs. Rage

This is Train’s debut and he has a guy named Thunderbolt Patterson with him. Fury is the tag partner of Rage from earlier. Nothing match that Train wins in less than a minute with a powerslam. I always liked Ice Train.

Patterson and Train say Train wants to learn and improve.

Big Van Vader vs. JD Stryker

Chokeslam, punch, powerbomb, pin.

Vader, the WCW Champion, and his manager Harley Race, say they don’t care about what happens in the main event. Race wants to talk about WarGames, where Vader is going to destroy everything. A mystery partner is mentioned, who was already revealed to be the Shockmaster.

So we have almost fifty minutes to go in the show and this is all we have left.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair

I know why this was requested. This is one of those matches that is nearly impossible to screw up and you start at a higher rating than the usual. It’s not about will the match be good but how good will it be. A quick shoulder takes Flair down as Tony talks about the history of these two, without mentioning the original Clash for some reason. Sting wins a battle of a hammerlock as Tony messes up the date of the original Clash (he says April, it was March 27).

Sting controls with a wristlock on the champion (Flair has the belt coming in) and we’re still in the feeling out process here. Flair tries a Figure Four out of nowhere but Sting escapes before he gets close. Things speed up but they botch the gorilla press spot. Sting doesn’t panic though and throws on a chinlock, which is probably the best thing they could do in that situation. Now the press slam hits and Flair goes to the apron.

A suplex back in puts Flair down and there’s a Boston Crab. Flair taps but it doesn’t mean anything yet so he gets a rope and bails to the floor instead. Back in and Flair goes to the eyes before chopping away in the corner. Say it with me: those don’t work on Sting. A half crab works on Flair’s back again, followed by another gorilla press for two. Sting hooks an abdominal stretch and the champ is in trouble.

As is his custom, Sting misses the Splash in the corner and Sting gets his second wind. They head to the floor but Flair tries a piledriver and gets backdropped instead. Flair begs off in a corner and suckers Sting in like only Flair can do. Sting gets thrown to the floor but it just ticks him off. Flair fires off the chops but, say it with me, THOSE DON’T WORK ON STING.

The champ begs off again and walks to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tony calls Sting Steamboat before Sting misses a splash on the top rope, clotheslining himself. There’s the knee drop to the head from Flair and the champ has his third wind. I don’t know what it is about them but Flair does some of the best snapmares ever. Flair rolls up Sting about six times in a row, all for two.

Ric is in full heel mode despite being a face coming in. A cover with the foot on the ropes gets one and a suplex gets about twelve. We take a break and come back to Sting making a comeback. During the break Sting rolled through a top rope cross body by Flair for two. Both guys are down for a bit before Flair hits a belly to back suplex for another few two counts. He must have had seventeen near falls so far.

Flair goes up top…..and the forearm off the top actually connects. You never know what you’ll find in these old shows. A sunset flip gets two for Sting as does a backslide. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and down to the floor he goes. Flair pokes him in the eye and goes up, only to get slammed down. It wouldn’t be a Flair match if that spot hadn’t happened. A clothesline gets a few two counts for Sting and he clotheslines Flair to the floor.

They head to the outside and Flair chops him against the railing. Even on the floor, THOSE DON’T WORK ON STING. Back in and Flair backs off again and Sting escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two. Flair pokes him in the eye and there’s the Figure Four (complete with a Whomp There It Is chant from the audience for no apparent reason). That finally gets turned over but Flair gets the rope.

Sid comes out to the commentary desk for no apparent reason as Sting gets a small package for two but the knee is in big trouble. Sid says this should be his title match and talks about bees. Flair chops him again because at times he really isn’t that bright. The gorilla press hits and a bulldog puts Flair down. Another small package gets two for Sting as does an atomic drop.

Probably the fourth gorilla press puts Flair down but the splash hits knees. Sting comes back with a clothesline and puts the Figure Four on Flair. Flair gets the rope and they trade rollups for two again. For the fifth time the chops don’t work on Sting so he superplexes Flair down. Eventually that gets two and gorilla press #5 puts Flair down again. Flair cross bodies Sting to the floor and both guys are down. Sid sneaks in and sends Sting into the barricade to give Flair the win by countout.

Rating: B+. This is one of those matches that it’s pretty much impossible to get wrong. They were getting pretty repetitive at the end though, with way too many rollups and gorilla presses. The first half of the match was great though with Flair trying to get Sting to use energy and Sting working on the back to set up the Scorpion. The ending kind of sucks but they couldn’t put either guy over clean here so I can certainly live with that.

Flair freaks out on Sid but Harlem Heat runs in before there can be another fight. Sting saves Flair and they knock Sid to the floor.

Post break Flair and Sting say that sucked but they’ll get Sid and the Heat later.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two hour show and 1/3 of that is Sting vs. Flair for forty minutes. The rest of the show was standard 1993 WCW nonsense that no one wanted to see, but for free TV on their flagship show, this was pretty awesome stuff at the end. I don’t have anything else to say: it’s Flair vs. Sting for forty minutes. That sums everything up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I was watching a Flair match and he put his feet on the ropes on a cover.  It wasn’t the end of the match, it wasn’t a plot point, it was nothing more than a regular cover.  However, it got the fans to boo him louder and cheer for his opponent more.  Flair did that because he’s a heel and that’s what heels do.  Today, the only time you see something like that is to end a match and advance a plot.  During matches, heels glare at crowds and that’s about it for the most part.

 

See how easy it is to make thing better?

TNA Weekly PPV #5
Date: July 17, 2002
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

It’s another TNA show here and we’re continuing some interesting stuff from last week in the form of the Disciples coming after Jarrett. On top of that, we have Hall vs. Lawler tonight in the main event. Uh…did I mention we have the Disciples coming after Jarrett? We also have an adult star in a match as well as midgets. Can’t you tell how overjoyed I am? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Jarrett’s path of rage over the first four episodes.

During the week, Shamrock snapped on Goldilocks and offers to beat her up. That’s pretty out of character for him.

We cut to the back where Hall and Jarrett are fighting. Security finally breaks it up and we’re told that Jarrett (wasn’t he suspended last week?) is out of his #1 contenders ladder match with Malice.

Here are the Disciples and Mitchell with the latter having a mic in the ring. He issues an open challenge to face Malice in the ladder match for the title shot. The lights go out and we have an opponent.

Malice vs. Sabu

Sabu goes right for him and gets in some good shots before running into an elbow from Malice to take him down. This is a ladder match remember. A chair is thrown in to Malice but Sabu channels his inner Raven and drop toeholds him onto it. There are two pelts of the chair to Malice’s head (love that move) but Air Sabu is caught in the corner into a backbreaker. The chair is wedged between the top and middle rope by another of the Disciples and there goes Sabu’s head into it.

Malice gets thrown to the floor and gets a ladder and because he’s not that bright, holds it in front of his face so Sabu can hit a baseball slide into the ladder into Malice’s head. Air Sabu over the top takes Malice out but Sabu has to fight off Tempest before going after Malice again. Sabu sets up a table because he’s, you know, Sabu, but Malice hits him before he can use it.

Sabu gets dropped face first onto the ladder which busts him open. The ladder is set up in the corner and Malice splashes Sabu against it before hitting a World’s Strongest Slam on both Sabu and the ladder at the same time. Sabu rams Malice with the ladder as he won’t stay down at all. To be fair, that’s Sabu’s trait so it’s not as big of a deal. A climb doesn’t work for Sabu and Malice hits a release belly to belly on Sabu onto the ladder. Malice still can’t get to the contract because as always in ladder matches, people only stay down for about 20 seconds at a time.

Malice misses a charge into the ladder in the corner and Air Sabu hits this time, driving Malice into the ladder again. Sabu goes up but the ladder gets kicked out from underneath him. A chair to the face slows Malice down but Sabu walks into a spinebuster to take him down again. Malice goes up and there’s the big shove off to put him through that table at ringside. That’s good enough to let Sabu get the contract and the title show.

Rating: B. Considering this was Sabu vs. The Wall, this was a miracle. They went with the spotfest formula here and it worked well in this case. Sabu hit most of his spots and some of the bumps looked good. I was digging the Sabu vs. the army of Disciples here and the match was a great surprise.

The Disciples destroy Sabu post match and Malice chokeslams him through a table.

Here’s AJ with something to say. He calls out his partner Jerry Lynn and they yell at each other a bit. Lynn talks about how many years he’s been wrestling (Tenay: “THAT’S A SHOOT!” Well yeah I guess but that’s not exactly a shocking statement) and asks how long AJ has been wrestling and what he’s accomplished. Lynn doesn’t like AJ stealing all the glory. Jerry goes to leave but gets kicked in the head (in an interesting note, that’s exactly what happened on Raw last night) and AJ hits the Styles Clash.

We recap St. Claire’s striptease from last week before going to Jasmine in the bathroom. Francine runs in and jumps her, leaving her laying as a result.

Here’s K-Krush for a chat. Krush says everyone needs to look at him because he looks like a star, he sounds like a star and he even smells like a star. So why isn’t he the biggest star in this business? Why did WWE let him go? It’s because he was going to become the hottest star in the company but they didn’t want something they were afraid of. Now he’s going to go to the top of the mountain. The fans seem to like what they’re hearing here a lot. He says he’s the Truth.

K-Krush vs. Norman Smiley

Krush jumps him before the bell but Smiley comes back with some Tough Enough level offense and some dancing. A slam puts Krush down and it’s the BIG WIGGLE! Basically it’s simulated anal sex but much more humorous. Krush avoids a clothesline and kicks Norman’s head off to take over. When all else fails, hit him in the face. Krush pounds away but Smiley grabs a belly to back suplex to put him down. That gets him nowhere though as Krush hits him in the ribs again and a sitout gordbuster gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an interesting time for Krush as he would get very popular all of a sudden before being turned face by the crowd reactions alone. This would all happen in the span of like three weeks no matter what he did to get on the nerves of the fans. The match was nothing but an extended squash.

Post match Krush whips Smiley with a belt and hangs him. Smiley’s wife waddles out and gets choked as well.

Puppet the midget is in a trash can and doesn’t want to talk. Somehow this takes 90 seconds. We pan over to the Dupps who are playing with fire. This would be the dumb parts of the show I’ve been telling you about.

Flying Elvises vs. Christopher Daniels/Elix Skipper

It’s a brawl to start and a member of each team is sent to the floor. The two in the ring both head to the floor very quickly with Skipper hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Siaki and Skipper get us going to start and scratch the Siaki half as it’s off to Estrada. Skipper is in trouble so Siaki drops to the floor and jumps in on commentary. He brags a bit before taking his shirt off and taking a tag.

It’s been all Elvises so far and an old A-Train over the shoulder backbreaker gets two. Back to Estrada as Siaki gets on commentary again. Estrada puts Skipper in a Razor’s Edge position and sits out into a kind of powerbomb for two. Skipper gets in a dropkick and it’s off to Daniels. Daniels and Skipper are the good guys here but they’re not really thrilling the crowd so far.

Things speed up and Daniels fires off clotheslines and dropkicks all around before Estrada suplexes him down to shift the momentum again. With Daniels on all fours, Skipper runs in, springboards off him, onto Estrada’s shoulders and then onto Siaki for a rana. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Daniels on Estrada as this has picked up VERY quickly. Estrada comes back with a middle rope legdrop for two and it’s back to Siaki.

An enziguri puts Jorge (Estrada) down and it’s a double tag to bring in Skipper and Siaki. A belly to belly puts Estrada down and a floatover double underhook suplex gets two. Estrada comes back with an X Factor for two as this is slowing down a bit again. Daniels comes back in for the BME for two on Estrada and a missile dropkick from Skipper gets two on Siaki. The Play of the Day puts Estrada down but Siaki comes in and hits a rolling suplex into a neckbreaker for the pin on Skipper.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for a spot fest, but it ran a bit longer than it needed to. On top of that, at the end of the day your X Division heels are called the Flying Elvises. They’re in the white Elvis suits but other than that, there’s nothing Elvis related about them. The name is too distracting for it to be such a small part of the gimmick and it’s making them more of a joke than a threat.

The Dupps come out and hit Estrada with some boards post match. Siaki bails and lets Estrada get destroyed.

K-Krush says nothing before Hall jumps him and beats him down.

Puppet vs. Meatball

Meatball was on Hogan’s Micro Championships Wrestling. This is a hardcore match and Meatball brings a bag of Doritos with him. Oh this is going to be painful. Puppet blasts him with a trashcan to start but he pulls up at a two count. A modified Van Daminator puts Meatball down and we head to the floor. Meatball picks him up and takes him to a shopping cart….and it’s full of food. I’ll sum up the next fer minutes: pie, eggs, pineapple, sugar, watermelon. Another Van Daminator (without the chair actually hitting Meatball) puts him down and this needs to end now. Puppet wins with a Vader Bomb onto a chair.

Rating: N/A. I review wrestling, not stupid freak show comedy. Thankfully this was the last week of this nonsense.

Another midget simulates sex with one of the cage dancers.

Jasmine St. Claire vs. Francine

Oh geez it just keeps going. It’s a catfight, clothes are ripped off, Francine wins by DQ in like 80 seconds when Blue Meanie comes in and DDTs Francine. I don’t think either girl appeared for the company again.

Francine is taken out on a stretcher.

Low Ki has nothing to say.

We get some highlights of Low Ki and AJ’s finishers.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

Ki won this shot last week in the elimination match. They take it to the mat very quickly and Low Ki fires off some chops. That gets him nowhere so it turns into a kick fest. Low Ki takes him down by the leg and it’s off to a front facelock. A fan with a sign is being taken out so the match slows down a lot so the fans don’t miss anything. AJ avoids a kick and dropkicks Low Ki down a few times.

Low Ki kicks AJ in the head and out to the apron. You may notice multiple variations of the word “kick” a lot in this match. I’m not saying Low Ki can’t do much other than kick…..actually yeah I am. It’s like 75% of his offense and it gets pretty repetitive. Low Ki gets sent to the floor but Styles misses an Asai Moonsault. Styles gets on the apron and Low Ki hits a standing enziguri to kick him back into the ring. They both head to the apron and strike it out before Low Ki hooks the Dragon Clutch (a version of the Dragon Sleeper) on the apron.

Back in the ring AJ elbows him down for two. Powerslam gets two for the champion as does a brainbuster. AJ goes up and after blocking a superplex, he fires off the Spiral Tap but Low Ki moves and gets two. The Ki Crusher 99 (modified fisherman’s buster) is countered into a DDT but Styles can’t cover. Low Ki sends him into the corner and after a cartwheel, he stops, jumps in the air and kicks AJ in the head. Low Ki goes up and tries some flip into a rana but gets (mostly) caught in the Clash to keep the belt on Styles.

Rating: C+. I do not like Low Ki or Senshi or Kaval or whatever Japanese sounding name he has this week. We get it: you can throw a freaking kick, NOW DO SOMETHING ELSE. It’s that same nonsense that made me sick of ROH and Davey Richards and it drives me crazy when Low Ki does it here. Throw a freaking suplex or something already.

As Styles leaves, Lynn pops up and blasts him. Back to the ring a ladder is set up and Styles gets thrown into it via a suplex (paying attention Low Ki?). He throws Styles around a bit more and leaves him laying with a Cradle Piledriver. They defend the titles next week.

Sabu has asked for the world title match next week to be a ladder match. Shamrock said ok but the NWA has decided it’s ladder or submission. Sure why not.

Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall

Before the match Lawler cuts his usual Memphis heel promo which doesn’t do anything for fans outside of Memphis. He runs down Jerry Lawler, talking about the number of marriages Jerry has had. There was a ticket left for Jerry tonight but apparently he’s at a high school trying to lure underage girls to him. Oh give me a break. Hall finally cuts him off….or at least his music does. Lawler talks about Hall a bit but Hall is behind him as you would expect. Hall stands behind him for almost two minutes before Lawler notices.

Hall finally decks him and Lawler goes to the floor. This has all taken nearly ten minutes before we finally get Lawler thrown onto the announce table. We head up the ramp with Lawler getting punched down again and again. Lawler finally gets in a right hand and they head into the ring. After some punches in the corner, a suplex gets two for Lawler. This guy is AWFUL as a heel in the ring.

They head to the floor for Lawler to run his mouth to the crowd before heading back in for a slugout. A superkick puts Hall down and it’s goggles time. Like any heel worth anything though, Lawler takes too long going up and gets slammed down. There’s the fallaway slam and a belly to back superplex but K-Krush runs in to break up the Edge. That’s not a DQ for some reason and the Edge gets the pin on Lawler.

Rating: D. Brian Lawler is a very boring wrestler as a heel. He’s a master of the Memphis style but sweet goodness it does not work on a national stage. This was a nine minute match with about three minutes worth of offense. The main event stuff on this show is driving me insane but it should crank up in a few weeks.

Krush and Lawler beat down Hall and choke him with the belt from earlier. Hall is taken out on a stretcher but Jarrett sneaks in as a paramedic and beats up Hall with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show was about setting up for the future and that’s fine. There are still some major problems, but thankfully the midgets and the girls would be gone after this week. The other big problem is the main event feud with Hall as the top face of the company. Hall in that role is ok for the most part but Lawler just isn’t doing it for me at all. The problem is mainly that with Shamrock as the world champion having random matches, there’s really no reason for Hall to be fighting these three guys. Without spoiling too much, that’ll change soon. Decent show this week as the problems are starting to be solved.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and nothing of note has changed. Punk is still champion, Lesnar beat up HHH as we expected him to, and there isn’t much else to talk about. Things will start to die down now as they always do in the fall but hopefully things aren’t all that bad. Let’s get to it.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Heyman brags for Lesnar about making HHH tap last night. Apparently that means that HHH quit on all of the fans because he couldn’t survive Lesnar. It’s HHH’s fault though because he told the referee to not stop the match no matter what happened and that’s what happened. Heyman asks the referee to come down here to be addressed by Brock.

Lesnar gets in the referee’s face and pulls Armstrong to himself, before saying good job. Heyman says Lesnar is the new king of kings. He’s the master of the Brocktogon and the conqueror of the WWE Universe.

Sin Cara/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes

Kofi and Young start us off with Darren being in trouble early. The champs’ team clears the ring and we take a break. Back with Truth coming in to punch Young a bit more. Ax kick hits and Khloe Kardashian is the social media ambassador tonight. Good grief. Off to Cody who comes in with a release gordbuster on Truth to take over. Titus comes in with the neck crank on Truth as things slow down.

O’Neal barks which is called the Q Bark now apparently. He suplexes Young onto Truth for two which is a takeoff on the Hart Foundation’s slam version back in the day. Off to a bodyscissors from Young followed by a chinlock from Titus. Kofi seems to have disappeared. Cara snaps off some ranas to clear the ring and Kofi dives on the Players. I guess he didn’t disappear. Back in the ring Cody goes for the mask but gets rolled up by Cara for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was a bit slow but I have no problem with combining a few feuds. That being said, why are the Players facing Kingston and Truth still? They lost twice already, clean both times I believe. Anyway, Cara continues to look good as they keep him in short bursts. A feud for the mask is fine but wasn’t that what his first feud was for? Anyway this was decent.

AJ is in the back when Otunga returns. He offers his services and she gets mad for some reason, giving him a match against a mystery opponent. Otunga leaves and AJ responds to a Tout from Punk earlier, where he said he wanted to name his own number one contender. That’s cool with AJ, but she has final say over it.

Ryback vs. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez

One step forward, two steps back for Ryback. Ryback hits three powerbombs on let’s say Andy. He shouts for Jinder and loads up the double Shell Shocked when Mahal comes in for the DQ at 1:29.

Ryback puts on the Clutch but gets destroyed anyway. The jobbers get beaten up too.

Dolph comes up to Jericho in the back and Jericho lists off his names. AJ comes in and makes a rematch between the two, with the obvious stipulation of Case vs. job.

Here’s Del Rio to say exactly what you would expect him to say. We get stills of him having the foot on the ropes, he wants a rematch, we’re all going to be bored. Cue AJ who says that’s not her territory but Del Rio can have a match here instead.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Before the bell and after a break, here’s Sheamus to join the fun. Orton dropkicks Alberto down for two almost immediately and hooks a chinlock. A slingshot suplex puts Del Rio down and there’s the Circle Stomp and kneedrop for two. Del Rio comes back with a knee and a chinlock for the sake of calling some spots. He mocks Orton’s mat smacking and goes up for some reason, only to get superplexed down for two. They slug it out from their knees with the Viper taking over.

After the clotheslines from Orton he loads up the Elevated DDT, only for Del Rio to escape and hit an enziguri. A charge from Del Rio is caught and Orton hooks his backbreaker. After a pair of kicks to the arm it’s apparently time for the armbreaker (he should just call it Destiny) but Orton counters into a neckbreaker for two. The Elevated DDT out of the corner gets no cover as Orton loads up the RKO. Ricardo comes in but Sheamus and a glare from Orton stops him. Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two as Sheamus points out the feet being on the rope to the referee. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and hopefully it sets up a triple threat instead of another one on one match. Orton is in the kind of position where he can be thrown into a match like that and lose without it hurting him at all. He can add a lot to the match though, especially some fresh blood to a boring feud between Sheamus and Del Rio. Decent enough match here.

Punk says there was no controversy to his win last night. He still wants respect.

We get a Tout from Antonio Cesaro and Aksana in the ring after winning the title last night.

Here’s the video on the stuff WWE did in LA this past week.

Damien Sandow vs. Brodus Clay

The intellectual says he’s going to send the Funkasaurus back into extinction. That’s quite the mind. Sandow sends him into the corner but the power game takes over for Brodus. He backdrops Damien and dances a bit. Sandow gets slammed down again and an elbow keeps him down. Daniem tries to go after the knee of Brodus which has been bad for weeks now. That gets him nowhere other than put in the corner where Brodus does Big Show’s gyrating hip attack. A running headbutt to the chest puts Sandow down again but a splash misses in the corner and Sandow rolls him up with tights for the pin at 2:40.

We go to Shawn Michaels in San Antonio. He says he was watching last night and talks about how it may have been the end for HHH. Shawn says you can prepare yourself for the end of your career but when it hits, you can’t be ready for it. HHH left it all in the ring last night and couldn’t get it done, so maybe his career is over. Shawn says that he was another distraction to HHH and if he had been in HHH’s corner, maybe he would have won. HHH is one of the best ever and Shawn we all love him.

David Otunga vs. Big Show

Total dominance by Show who is wrestling more like a face here. He fires off some knees to the head of Otunga and hits the Eye of the Hurricane (I think Show called it the Final Cut back in the day but I’m not sure) before finishing with the WMD at 2:07.

Earlier today Show ranted about the match last night.

Kane/Zach Ryder vs. The Miz/Daniel Bryan

The idea is that the partners have had issues in the past. That’s an understatement. They do acknowledge the issues Kane and Ryder have had which is a big help. Ryder gets in the ring very slowly and doesn’t look happy at all. Bryan starts with Kane but Bryan tags out less than two seconds in. We get a DANIEL BRYAN chant as it’s off to Ryder. There were two tags within the first fifteen seconds.

A middle rope dropkick sends Miz into the corner but Miz kicks Ryder in the face to escape. Bryan comes in and the place ERUPTS. He stomps on Ryder while taunting him about making a tag. Back to Miz who pulls on Ryder’s face and hits a neckbreaker for two. Back to Bryan who fires off some kicks in the corner. Bryan accidentally runs into Miz, allowing Kane to get the tag.

Miz won’t tag in now so it’s Bryan vs. Kane. Daniel’s solution? Slap the monster. Bryan runs into the crowd and Miz leaves too. Kane chokeslams Ryder for old times’ sake and beats up the steps and table. The timekeeper gets thrown around and Ryder gets a tombstone. Does Vince have some kind of fetish for seeing Kane beat him up? We’ll say the match ended at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much here but unfortunately it doesn’t set up Miz vs. Ryder for the IC Title which would have been a good short feud for both guys. Kane and Bryan both having anger management issues could be interesting, although I hope it doesn’t wind up being about Charlie Sheen as the dynamic there would be weird.

Cena won’t say Punk is best in the world.

Punk says that he picks John Cena for his #1 contender if Cena will accept a condition. It’s not particularly stated but the condition seems to be that Cena has to respect him.

Divas Battle Royal

This is for the #1 contendership. I think there are seven in this and I’m not going to bother listing them. Aksana and Rosa go out at the same time and we have Eve, Tamina, Alicia, Natalya and Kaitlyn in there still. I didn’t see Beth or Kelly in at all. Kaitlyn is sent to the apron but Tamina drags her back in for no apparent reason.

Eve is down in the corner and talking to a referee about something. Tamina and Natalya double team various people but they don’t eliminate anyone. Alicia dropkicks them to the apron but both get back in. Natalya gets sent to the floor by missing a charge, Tamina superkicks Alicia out and Kaitlyn throws out Tamina. Eve gets up but can’t get Kaitlyn out so Kaitlyn clotheslines her out to win at 4:10.

Rating: D. It was longer than it needed to be, it was boring, and the two most famous Divas weren’t in it. I guess this sets up the match at Night of Champions which is as good a way as anything else to get us to that. Nothing to see here though as the Divas are just worthless other than looking good.

After a recap of the opening segment, we see a Tout from Lesnar saying he’s done with WWE because he’s accomplished everything he wanted to here. Winning one match was his whole list?

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Daniel Bryan has to go to anger management classes, which gives us a way to talk about the WWE App for Android.

Vickie yells at Dolph about AJ. Dolph says this is about him tonight and not Vickie. Vickie freaks out again and Dolph says he’ll win. He leaves her in the locker room.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Contract vs. MITB Case here. Jericho gets a quick rollup to start and Dolph bails to the floor. Back in and Jericho grabs another rollup for the same result. A missile dropkick puts Ziggler down and Jericho backdrops him out to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts Dolph out there again and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and doing the handstand. Jericho finally escapes and takes Ziggler down with a shoulder.

A top rope double ax gets two as does what was supposed to be a rana but Jericho’s legs wound up under Ziggler’s legs. That could work as another move in its own right. Ziggler grabs a jumping DDT to put Jericho down and the match slows a bit. Fameasser misses and but Jericho can’t hook the Walls. Small package gets two for Ziggler but the Zig Zag is countered. The Lionsault hits knees and the Zig Zag gets rid of Jericho at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from these two, although I’m not sure if last night’s result was the right call now. Wouldn’t it be better to have Jericho lose “the big one” last night and put up his job for a final chance to win? On the other hand, the win last night made Ziggler look like he was in a lot more jeopardy tonight so it’s hard to say. Actually the right call would have been to have these stips last night, but that’s too much foresight so we got this instead, which was still fine. The ending was never in doubt though as we knew Jericho was leaving.

Ziggler celebrates a lot post match but Jericho takes the case from Vickie. He hits Ziggler with it a few times and hits a Codebreaker for good measure. That’s a pretty heelish exit after he lost completely clean.

Here’s Punk to close the show. He goes to Lawler and wants an apology for Lawler saying that Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe. Before he can get that, here’s Cena. Punk is annoyed that Cena came out early because he’s stealing the spotlight again. He’s tired of taking a backseat to Cena and Rock and everyone else. Punk has done it out of respect but he’s never gotten any respect back.

He’s tired of walking through airports and having people saying “what’s up champ, why weren’t you in the main event?” Punk says that he respects Cena and allows him to go on last, drawing a CM Punk chant. Punk talks about beating Cena twice last year for the title and for beating him last night for the title again. Last year he had to hold the company up to get some respect. Cena is the #1 contender now because Punk has to beat him again to get respect.

Punk talks about looking into the crowd and seeing all of the green (Cena’s current colors in case it’s 2017 or something). He wants Cena to say he respects Punk because the people will follow whatever Cena says. The title shot is his if he’ll say Punk is the best in the world. That line gave me flashbacks to Jesus in the wilderness with Satan. Cena talks about how he believes in the people and how he has to believe in himself. Based on that, he can’t say it because he doesn’t believe it. He says he believed in everything he said leading up to the match with Rock and if he gets a rematch he’ll say it again.

Punk has held the title for nine months and all anyone remembers is him blowing a kiss to Vince (which was before this title reign but you get the point). Cena will not say Punk is the best in the world but he’s giving Punk another option: he’s offering Punk vindication. If Punk can beat Cena in Cena’s hometown, that will prove he’s the best in the world. If Punk won’t do it, Cena has no respect for him. With that, Cena leaves Punk in the middle of the ring alone.

Punk immediately turns to Lawler and says he wants an apology right now. He demands an apology because he never turned his back on the WWE Universe as Lawler said he did. Lawler gets in the ring and says it’s a misunderstanding but apologizes. He goes to leave but Punk stops him. If Cena won’t say Punk is the best in the world, the people will believe Lawler, as he’s the minister of propaganda for the WWE. Lawler thinks but he can’t say it. He goes to leave again and Punk kicks him in the head. Punk stares down as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. There was something very important tonight that has been missing from Raw lately: there was a clear direction. Tonight we had I believe three potential matches set up for Night of Champions. Everything on the show seemed to have a point and that kept things from dragging. This was a decent show and I liked it more than most of the recent episodes, which is a good sign as we’re in a new period of the year. Cena and Punk are channeling Savage vs. Hogan in 88/89 when the Mega Powers Exploded and that sounds awesome.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Sin Cara b. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes – Rollup to Rhodes

Ryback b. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Damien Sandow b. Brodus Clay – Rollup with a handful of tights

Big Show b. David Otunga – WMD

Kaitlyn won a battle royal last eliminating Eve

Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Jericho – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner. We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out.  They play it up like it’s his last match.  Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Dolph Ziggler – Walls of Jericho

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package

The Miz b. Rey Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Irish Curse

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Prime Time Players – Little Jimmy to Young

CM Punk b. John Cena and Big Show – Pinned Show after an AA from Cena

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – Kimura

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

 

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

 

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

 

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

 

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

 

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

 

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

 

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

 

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

 

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

 

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

 

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

 

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

 

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

 

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

 

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

 

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

 

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

 

Ad for some movie.

 

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

 

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

 

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

 

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

 

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

 

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

 

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

 

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

 

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

 

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

 

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

 

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

 

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

 

The California National Guard is here.

 

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

 

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

 

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

 

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

 

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

 

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

 

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

 

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

 

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

 

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

 

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

 

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

 

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

 

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

 

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

 

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

 

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

 

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

 

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

 

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

 

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

 

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

 

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

 

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

 

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

 

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

 

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

 

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

 

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

 

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

 

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

 

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

 

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

 

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

 

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s Summerslam time and honestly I barely care after this lackluster build.  Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the matches of course.

For the preshow I’ll take Santino to retain in some wacky manner.  It should go to Cesaro to just give him something to do but they’re pushing Cesaro too hard to have him win here.

 

On to the main card, I’ll go with Bryan over Kane.  Bryan hasn’t won a singles match in months but yet he doesn’t need to win at all.  I’ll go with him because there is no reason to have Kane win at all here.

 

Ziggler over Jericho due to the word on the street being that Jericho is done after Sunday.

 

Miz to retain I guess but honestly does anyone care at all here?

 

Hopefully the Prime Time PLayers take the tag belts as Kofi and Truth are some of the lamest champions I can remember in a long time, which is saying something for the freaking tag team titles.

 

Sheamus over Del Rio with a possible cash in for Ziggler.  I really hope they don’t put it on Del Rio and then have Ziggy cash in.  That move drives me crazy.

 

For the main events, I’m hoping for Punk to retain but Big Show being in there would point to Cena walking out with the title.

 

For the real main event that hopefully won’t go on last, it has to be Lesnar.  I mean…..it HAS TO BE Lesnar……right?

 

Overall, this is one of the weakest looking Summerslams I can remember in a very long time.  The world title match is dragged down by a combination of Big Show and Punk seeming to have no idea if he’s a face or a heel.  At the end of the day, Rock continues to loom over this company but at least now there’s an open spot to face him at the Rumble.  Other than that, we have Lesnar vs. HHH in a feud that has almost no heat on it because it was started and then not mentioned again for three months before Shawn turned into a scared coward and Lesnar turned into every other cowardly heel that runs from a fight on the roster despite running over JOHN FREAKING CENA like he wasn’t there.  But hey, it makes HHH look more feared and if anyone needs the extra boost, it’s HHH.

 

Thoughts/predictions?

TNA Weekly PPV #4
Date: July 10, 2002
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

For the first time in a few weeks, we don’t have a new title to be decided. We do however have a six way X-Division elimination match as well as a racecar driver vs. K-Krush. The first three shows have been pretty good so far but they need to fill in the middle of their cards better than they have been. Let’s get to it.

While we may not have new champions to decide, we do have two title matches tonight. Hey look, here’s one of them now.

Tag Titles: AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn vs. Slash/Tempest

Tempest is more famous as Devon Storm, who is more famous as Crowbar in WCW. We get a clip from last week with AMW being attacked and taking them out of the tag title tournament. AJ and Lynn teamed up and beat the Rainbow Express for the titles. Slash and Tempest are here because TNA was actually trying to set up a real division instead of having like three teams.

Lynn and Slash get things going. Slash is a power guy so Lynn speeds things up and takes him to the mat with a headlock takeover for two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb which is countered into an X-Factor for another two. AJ comes in and you know things are going to speed up even more. Off to Tempest who takes AJ down by the arm but AJ drop toeholds him to the floor.

Back in and Tempest chops away, followed by a top rope flipping headscissors to take Styles down. AJ tries the move that we would later call the Styles Clash but gets backdropped to the apron instead. Everything breaks down and the Disciples (of the New Church) are sent into each other and out to the floor. AJ dives onto both of them but gets caught, so Lynn dives on all three to knock them down.

Styles gets sent into the apron so Jerry takes over with a slingshot Fameasser, followed by a springboard moonsault from AJ for two on Tempest. Slash takes Lynn down and Tempest hits a Death Valley Driver for two on AJ and a jumping back elbow to set up a chinlock. The Disciples hit a double sitout chokeslam for two as Styles is in the process of getting killed again. Slash hits what we would call the Eye of the Storm for no cover before missing a dropkick.

A discus lariat puts Slash down again and there’s the hot tag to Lynn. There’s a tornado DDT to Slash but Tempest superkicks him down. Tempest’s top rope rana is countered and Lynn hits a middle rope cross body for two. The Cradle Piledriver kills Tempest dead but AJ tags himself in and hits the Spiral Tap for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good opener here as the new champions get a good win to establish themselves as the best. The idea of them fighting over who the best guy on the team is makes for a good story, especially when Styles is X-Division Champion on top of being a tag champion. Good opener here as things are off to a good start tonight.

The win gets pyro for some reason.

We recap the tag match that ended last week’s show with Christopher turning on Hall, giving Krush and Jarrett the win.

Hall calls into the show and says he’s coming for all three of them.

Here’s Christopher to talk about why he turned on Hall last week. He talks about transitioning from being a child to being an adult. Christopher says he’s always been identified as Jerry Lawler’s son (Tenay: “That’s because you are.”). He’s tired of being overshaddowed by his father and he’s going to prove he belongs in this business. He says screw Jerry Lawler because he was never there to be a father to Christopher. Tonight, everything starts to change. He goes on another rant against Lawler for always kissing up to Vince and tonight, it’s all about him, which is why his name is now Brian Lawler.

Brian Lawler vs. Norman Smiley

MAGIC IS BACK!!! Lawler pounds him in the corner and Smiley is in trouble early. A neckbreaker puts Smiley down but Norman comes back with a slam. West is his usual completely over excited self on commentary here, shouting about how Norman needs to DO IT FOR JERRY. Lawler gets spanked a bit but we don’t get the Big Wiggle.

Lawler rams Norman’s head into the mat to stop the comeback and things slow WAY down. Well he is from Memphis so you have to expect a lot of slow paced offense. A charge into the corner hits post though and Smiley fires off some right hands. Norman pounds away in the corner but a low blow puts him down. The Hip Hop Drop (minus the goggles) gets the pin for Lawler.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, it’s Grandmaster Sexay as a big time heel in this company. You can only take that so seriously and I don’t think it worked all that well. The match with Hall is next week so hopefully he gets put down where he belongs. Nothing to see here as it was a Memphis style squash, meaning they stretched a two minute match into over five.

Jarrett doesn’t like that he doesn’t have a world title match tonight. Bill Behrens tells him to chill so Jarrett shoves him, earning a suspension. Jarrett leaves and we hear someone in a locker room that might be James Mitchell yelling at someone else, saying this will never happen again.

K-Krush vs. Hermie Sadler

Time for racecar drivers in the ring. We recap the stuff that set this up which saw two racecar drivers beating Krush (R-Truth) up. Hermie jumps him to start and knocks Krush to the floor and pounds away. Krush chokes him back to the post but misses Hermie’s head with a punch and hits the post instead. Back inside and the ax kick puts Sadler down for two. A powerslam kills Sadler again but he kicks out again. Now it’s a figure four on Sadler but he rolls over to escape it. Krush misses a dropkick but rolls Sadler up for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: D-. I’m going to keep this short: stop putting racecar drivers in wrestling matches. No one cares, it doesn’t get people interested, and they rarely can do anything in the ring. That’s it.

Krush hits Sadler post match and that’s a DQ so Sadler wins. Sure why not.

Omori, the challenger for Shamrock tonight, is getting ready. Alicia comes up to him and money is exchanged.

Hot Shots vs. Briscoe Brothers

Yep, the ROH Briscoe Brothers who are barely 18 here. The Hot Shots are Cassidy Riley and Chase Stevens. It’s interesting to see the Briscoes basically being jobbers coming into this. I can never remember which Briscoe is which so we’ll say that’s Mark in the ring with Riley. Off to Jay (I was right) who chases Riley around, only to get caught by Mark off a blind tag. The Hot Shots LAUNCH Mark over the top onto Jay followed by a pair of big dives to take the Briscoes out again. Everything breaks down and the Disciples of the New Church come in to clean house for a double DQ.

Malice kills all four of them with chokeslams and Mitchell gets in the ring with the Disciples. He says they want Malice to get a title match against Shamrock or people are going to get hurt. The timekeeper gets brought into the ring but Shamrock comes in before death can occur. The Disciples jump him and beat him down but Omori, the opponent for later, runs in for the save.

The Dupps are ready for the Flying Elvises tonight.

Instead of the tag match we had scheduled, here’s Jasmine St. Clair, an adult star who showed up in ECW in its final year. She talks about how she wants to see some T & A and offers to give JB a lap dance. While dancing she takes off her thong and Bill Behrens comes out to stop it. In a funny bit, Ed Ferrara runs into the ring and spears Behrens down. Behrens eventually covers Jasmine up and drags her away.

The Dupps vs. The Flying Elvises

The Dupps are country boys named Bo and Stan (Trevor Murdoch) and the Flying Elvises are Sonny Siaki and Jorge Estrada, both of whom you don’t really need to know. Brawl to start and the Dupps sloppily clean house to control early. Mortimer Plumtree comes out for commentary for no apparent reason. Siaki and Stan start things off with Stan in full control. Off to Bo with a shoulder and legdrop for two. Siaki tries to speed things up but gets caught in an Alabama Slam out of the corner.

Mortimer is trying to come up with suspects for the attack on AMW last week which is the most interesting part of the match. Some Elvis cheating gives them control and it’s off to Estrada. After getting in a bit of trouble, Estrada comes back with a split legged moonsault for no cover. Off to Stan who cleans house and kills Estrada with a full nelson slam. Apparently that’s not worthy of selling because Estrada hits a pumphandle throw and a twisting springboard swanton for the pin on Stan.

Rating: D. There was nothing to see here at all. I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for here and neither team gave me a reason to care about either one of them. This is the kind of filler match that I was talking about in the intro: it’s not horrible or anything, but there’s nothing interesting at all here and I don’t think anyone cared about any of these guys at all.

Lynn and Styles are fighting in catering with Lynn getting the better of it and hitting a good piledriver on an anvil case.

NWA World Title: Takao Omori vs. Ken Shamrock

Harley Race is here for no apparent reason other than he’s Harley Race. Well that’s a good enough reason for me. Shamrock doesn’t have the belt with him for some reason. He quickly takes Omori down and puts on a headscissors. Omori comes back with a spinwheel kick as Tenay talks about how awesome the NWA is. Off to a quick chinlock but Omori misses a spinwheel kick in the corner.

Shamrock goes after the knee like a good submission specialist but then shifts to a simple punch to the jaw. The problem here is already clear: there’s no story to this match and it’s just there because we need a challenger from outside the company. Omori grabs a full nelson slam but his Bombs Away knee drop off the top misses. The crowd is about as interested as I am here, which is why you can hear the guys in the match talking.

A big clothesline which is apparently another of Omori’s finishers gets two and Tenay is the only person fired up about the kickout. Shamrock comes back with a dropkick of all things followed by a leg bar. Well, the wrestling version of one at least. A piledriver from Omori is broken up by a shot to the apparently injured knee of Omori. That’s a pretty quick injury but it’s due to a submission guy so it makes sense at least. Shamrock puts on the ankle lock but Jarrett runs in for the DQ with a chair shot.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much. I’ve said this before: you have to give fans a reason to care about these matches. Who is Omori? What has he accomplished in wrestling to give him a world title match? We’ve never seen him before on this show (and we won’t ever again) and the announcers only mentioned one match he had, which was a seven second win. Well that’s cool, but it doesn’t really make me believe this guy is a world title contender. On top of that, Shamrock was basically just a name at this point and didn’t have anywhere near the skill in the ring that he used to have.

Jarrett beats up both guys with the chair until Harley Race comes in for the save. Jarrett hits him with the chair too and security gets a few shots to their heads too.

Lynn doesn’t have much to say. He leaves so Mitchell and the Disciples show up. They’re looking for Jeff Jarrett because of a sin Mitchell can’t forgive. They leave too and we hear what sounds like screaming or moaning. It’s Bill Behrens bound and gagged on the floor. Ok then.

Low Ki vs. Elix Skipper vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Kid Romeo vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels

This is a six man elimination match to determine the X-Division rankings. The winner is the #1 contender. This is Daniels’ debut. There are only two in the ring at a time which is probably a good thing for this match. Daniels vs. Romeo to get things going and they trade wristlocks. Both guys avoid various moves before Daniels hits a Japanese armdrag but walks into a dropkick. The winner gets their title match next week apparently.

Skipper comes in and moonsaults over Daniels before superkicking him down for two. Daniels takes him into the corner but Mamaluke tags Daniels to bring himself in. Wouldn’t you want to stay on the apron for the most part of this match? Ferrara points out how much bigger Mamaluke looks which is indeed a striking difference to how he looked in ECW. He goes for the knee but gets clotheslined down by Elix.

Skipper tags in Lynn but it’s quickly off to Low Ki for some hard kicks to Mamaluke. Mamaluke comes back with a hard belly to back suplex for two. Mamaluke grabs some kind of a neck hold on Low Ki but it doesn’t last long. Tony punches Romeo in the corner for no apparent reason before tagging in Daniels, who hits a side slam on Low Ki for two. Romeo comes in and gets kicked before Daniels tags in Lynn. Lynn rolls through a Gory Special into a sunset flip for two. We need to get some people out of here so that it’s easier to tell who is who.

A tornado DDT gets two on Romeo and it’s off to Daniels who misses a top rope splash to Romeo. Lynn vs. Daniels now and Lynn is sent to the floor. Daniels hits a split legged moonsault out to the floor onto Lynn and it’s time for everyone to dive on a bigger pile with each dive. Back in and Lynn hits a guillotine Fameasser onto Daniels while Daniels is in the ropes. Things finally calm down again and it’s Mamaluke vs. Daniels in the ring. Mamaluke rolls some suplexes before hitting a Russian leg sweep for two. Apparently Lynn was on the floor too long and has been eliminated despite not being in the ring He’s ranked sixth.

Skipper hits the Overdrive (MVP’s old Play of the Day) to eliminate Mamaluke and it’s off to Low Ki vs. Skipper. Low Ki sends him into the ropes and Skipper falls through them to the floor. Back in and Low Ki escapes the Overdrive and puts Skipper into a fireman’s carry before ramming Skipper’s back into the buckle. Skipper uses the Matrix to avoid a kick and suplexes Low Ki down for no cover. Instead it’s a missile dropkick to Low Ki which sends him into the corner to tag in Daniels.

Elix almost immediately hits a reverse suplex on Daniels for two but Daniels clotheslines him down. They trade standing switches and Daniels hits the Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) to eliminate Skipper. We’re down to Romeo, Daniels and Low Ki. Romeo comes in and pounds on Daniels before hitting a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog for two. Low Ki gets knocked to the floor but isn’t counted for no apparent reason. Romeo goes up but Daniels crotches him. They fight on the top and Romeo hits an AWESOME version of what we would call White Noise off the top to get us down to two.

So we’re down to Romeo vs. Low Ki. Wait scratch that as Daniels’ foot was on the ropes. This is one of the things that ECW and TNA has always done that gets on my nerves: you get a HUGE move like that and it only gets two. Low Ki kicks Romeo’s head off and puts on a Dragon Clutch for the tap to get us down to one on one for real now.

They chop it out and Daniels grabs a Downward Spiral to take Low Ki down. A back heel trip puts him down again but Low Ki manages to crotch Daniels on top. Daniels knocks Low Ki off the top and this the BME for a delayed two. They trade rollups for a lot of near falls and for some reason the fans start booing this out of the building. I must have missed something there because that was the most exciting part of the match. Daniels escapes the Dragon Clutch and puts Low Ki on top before slamming him down for two. Last Rites are countered into a sitout fisherman’s buster by Low Ki for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of match that is long rather than quite good. It didn’t really pick up until the very end even then it wasn’t anything great. Having this be elimination was way better than having it be one fall to a finish because those matches are never anything but spot fests. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t as great as the announcers were hyping it up to be.

The Flying Elvises come out and beat Daniels and Low Ki down before the four other X guys from the main event make the save. The fans chant for Low Ki.

Here’s Jarrett with less than two minutes to go. He wants a title shot next week. Jarrett yells at some Tennessee Titans who jump the railing and beat Jarrett up. The Disciples come out as well and beat up Jarrett to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ok but they still have a lot of tweaking to do. A lot of the names are there because they’re just that: names. I can certainly forgive them for a lot of stuff here because it’s just their fourth show and they have some stories going on, but they need to fix some of the problems they’ve got here, namely adding some better talent to the midcard. Like I said though, it’s four weeks in so I can’t be too critical yet. Decent show but no great match this week.

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