Unforgiven 2001
Date: September 23, 2001
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,855
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Boy have things changed in a year. We’re in the Alliance Era now, meaning we have two world title matches. First up is a handicap match with Shane/Booker teaming up to fight Rock for the WCW Title and Angle vs. Austin with Angle getting another shot as the hometown boy. This is a very different style also as other than two matches, everything is over ten minutes long. Let’s get to it.

This is less than two weeks after 9/11 so let’s get patriotic! There’s some miscommunication in there somewhere as she starts to sing God Bless America after being announced as singing America the Beautiful. She has one of those voices where the louder she gets the more it sounds like screeching.

The opening video talks about the aforementioned main events.

WWF Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Hurricane/Lance Storm vs. Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Spike Dudley

Dudleys have the titles and this is elimination rules. Helms is European Champion. Storm/Hurricane and the Dudleys are Alliance. Brawl to start with Show beating up the Dudleys on his own. Matt vs. D-Von gets us going officially but it’s off to Hurricane quickly. Hurricane poses a lot so Matt arm drags him and poses too. The hat wearing Jeff comes in to a girl pop.

Spike wants to fight Helms because he tried to steal Molly from Spike so Helms runs. He lets Storm beat Spike down and then comes back in. Helms wanted Molly to be his superhero sidekick. That could never happen right? I mean it’s not like she’d…..ok so she turns on Spike later in the week and becomes Mighty Molly. Hurricane gets the cape (which was a really disappointing show) and it’s gone that fast. Gutbuster gets two on Spike. Off to Lance who gets caught in a Dudley Dog to put both guys down.

Hot tag brings in Show and it breaks down fast. The Hardys dive on a lot of people and Spike climbs onto Show’s shoulders to dive on EVERYONE. Show points to the corner and everyone in the arena freaks. Bubba breaks it up so Show beats up everyone in sight, chokeslamming Storm to end him and get us down to three teams. The Dudleys hit a double suplex on Show and Matt is back in, rolling Spike up for two.

Spike counters the Twist of Fate into a neckbreaker for two. The second attempt works a bit better and SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE, we get the Hardys vs. the Dudleys. Bubba breaks up Poetry in Motion and they call for 3D. It’s Bubba vs. Jeff now and Bubba chops loudly. Jeff jumps really high on a back drop and it looks great. Matt tries to come in and help, letting Jeff get caught in What’s Up.

D-Von hooks a chinlock and Jeff is in trouble again. D-Von gets a sloppy powerslam for two. Out to the floor and Bubba sends Jeff into the steps and that looked nasty as Jeff was a bit high so his hip hit the steps straight on. Jeff manages to fire off a Whisper in the Wind (I don’t think Ross knows that name) and brings in Matt. He dives out to the floor with a moonsault to take out both Dudleys. Twist of Fate is countered into 3D but Jeff dives off with a Swanton to break it up. Bubba hits his self-titled Bomb as Jeff is being put out so D-Von can steal the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun opener here and it ate up a lot of time. The Dudleys vs. the Hardys was always entertaining but dude, how many times can they have it before it gets boring? The tag division was totally dead by the time we got to Mania so that should tell you a lot right there. This was good stuff though and the other teams actually made it a bit better which is rare in these matches.

RVD is just getting here. No wonder he was criticized. Stephanie comes up to him and wishes him luck against Jericho. She offers him services and sex might be kind of almost maybe sort of involved. He turns her down but I think she meant managing. He does need help finding a dressing room. Her hair is awful here.

Angle’s family is in the front row. Well if that doesn’t seal the ending I don’t know what does. Kurt isn’t medically cleared due to a neck injury. I’ll retract my previous statement: THAT seals it more than anything else.

We recap Raven vs. Saturn which is over Moppy. Moppy is just that: a mop. Saturn was in love with it and Raven put it in a woodchipper. Terri left Saturn for Raven during this also.

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn goes off on him to start as Paul gets in the line of the night: “They’re fighting over the memory of a mop.” Raven goes to the floor and hits the Russian leg sweep into the barrier and a drop toehold into the steps. JR talks about the Flock and Heyman talks about how JR never watched Nitro. JR: “I was busy!” Back in and Raven grabs a cobra clutch of all things.

Saturn escapes but Raven hits a HARD knee lift to send him out to the floor. Saturn keeps trying to get back in but Raven keeps knocking him back to the floor. He manages to get back in with a sunset flip but Raven grabs the rope for two. Saturn hits his usual nice superkick and pounds away. Suplex puts Raven down again. Raven counters a top rope rana and a sunset flip gets two. Perry goes way old school with a catapult and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gives Saturn the win.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match but it was fine. Saturn bleeding from the eye made him look like a warrior…even though this wasn’t a match that needed a warrior. These two always had solid chemistry together and even here with Raven and Saturn both meaning nothing it was a decent match.

To show what the Alliance did to the company, every match after this is a title match.

Christian talks to the gorgeous Lillian about Edge and how he’s going to fulfill his dream and prove he’s better than his brother. It’s worth it too.

We recap Edge vs. Christian which is about Christian being jealous of Edge’s success, namely winning the KOTR and IC Title. This led to the awesome “CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOUR O-O-O-O-O-WN” music. Edge’s face visuals were amazing in this feud.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge

Edge has the always awesome Rob Zombie entrance here too. Edge hammers away to start and Christian tries to get a breather. They fight up the ramp and it’s all Edge here. Edge hits a slingshot to send his brother/friend into the set face first. Back to the ring and Edge is in firm control. He rams Christian’s head into the middle buckle ten times and chokes away a bit.

Christian sends him into the post and let’s talk about grandma. Christian is really not quite used to being on offense on his own yet. It took him a few years to really get going with it and even then it took him a few more years to break to the main event level. Edge gets a shot in and heads up top. He shoves his brother/friend off and jumps, landing on his feet. He fakes out Christian and the Canadian hits a German on the Canadian for two.

Edge is bleeding from under his eye. They slug it out and a double cross body puts both of them down. This isn’t really gelling but it’s not bad. Unprettier is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is tossed to the floor and he crawls under the ring so he can come out the other side and hit a top rope cross body for two. The less successful brother goes to the floor and grabs some chairs for a Conchairto but Edge sweeps the leg, sending a chair into Christian’s head. Edge tries the same thing and Christian pops him in the balls with a chair for the title.

Rating: C-. It’s not a bad match but the flow was way off. It’s like they went from one set of spots to the next with little in between. They would get a lot better but at this point Christian just wasn’t ready to do much and Edge wasn’t good enough in the ring to be able to carry him there yet either.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. Kronik. Steven Richards blamed Taker for RTC splitting up and then Kronik beat him up, drawing out Kane. Kronik cost the Brothers the WWF Tag Titles but since this is the Alliance Era, they had both titles at once so they were still the WCW champions, because once you lose a title match you’re still champions right?

Taker talks about how awesome they are and how they’ll beat Kronik.

WCW Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Undertaker/Kane

Richards is with Kronik here. The brawl starts on the floor and it’s Adams vs. Taker to officially get us going. Off to Kane who still has a bad arm. Off to Clark with Kronik in control now. Big boot gets two. There are a lot of kicks and punches in this. Kane kind of falls down on a neckbreaker….and then a shoulderbreaker. Taker comes in and works on the arm, hitting Old School.

An armbar goes on but Adams breaks it up. Clark sells the arm so he’s up a few steps already. More punches and kicks from Kronik and they’re not clicking at all. Kronik takes over with double teaming and upgrades their offense with a double shoulder block for two. Off to the chinlock with Adams keeping Taker down. Back to Clark but Taker hits a running DDT and there’s the tag to Kane.

He cleans house and a big boot puts both guys down. A side slam to Clark does the same and Kane loads up a chokeslam. Adams makes the save and we get the rare triple clothesline to put everyone down. Taker comes back in and it all breaks down. He sets for a chokeslam on Clark but Richards comes in for the save. Double chokeslam to Taker is broken up and Kane hits his clothesline and a chokeslam ends Clark to keep the titles on the Brothers.

Rating: D-. This match was voted worst match of the year….and I’m really not sure why. Sure it’s bad but I’ve seen FAR worse matches than this before. Kronik looked as limited as you can be and they would be fired soon after this for the match. They needed more seasoning and the offer was to send them to the minors but they refused and were fired because of it. I don’t get why this was blasted so much because it’s not the worst match I’ve ever seen or really even close to it. I’m sure I could find some worse WCW matches.

Post match Steven gets beaten up.

Shane tries to fire up Booker and Taz comes in to fire both of them up.

Steph goes looking for RVD and talks through his door, saying that since tomorrow is her birthday she wants him to destroy Jericho. She still can’t act. I mean really, how hard is it to sound like you’re not on a script. More sex is implied. Jericho is behind her and it’s time for the great insults. “How old are you going to be?” “25.” “No I asked how old you’ll be, not how many men you’ve been with in the past week.” Implant jokes are made as Stephanie got some surgery recently and I can’t say I’m complaining.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

JR and Paul have an argument about RVD’s ECW accomplishments. Why would you want to argue with Heyman about that? They fight to a stalemate with both guys trying dropkicks and the fans applaud. They exchange some nice pinfall reversals and RVD is the fan favorite. Jericho slaps him in the face and starts winning through the use of strikes. RVD gets a rollup using just his feet for two.

There have been no weapon shots used yet and we’re about 5 minutes into this. Jericho is sent to the floor and Van Dam hits a cross body off the apron for two. There’s the spin kick to Jericho’s back while he’s on the railing but Jericho moves as Van Dam crashes. And now it’s time for the ladders. Jericho takes his head off with it and we go back into the ring. Van Dam’s shoulder goes into the post twice and Jericho is kind of wrestling heel here.

Both guys are suplexed onto the ladder with Jericho doing it second. Rob escapes a Walls attempt and hits a modified Rolling Thunder (he rolled through once and then just splashed him instead of a backsplash) and then a split legged moonsault for two. Lionsault misses and Van Dam takes his head off with a spin kick, giving us about our third busted eye of the night.

Five Star misses and Jericho gets two. This has been a really good match so far. Jericho takes a drop toehold to send him into the ladder. Rob grabs a chair and slams Jericho down onto it then climbs the ladder. Jericho counters by throwing the ladder at Rob’s head and putting the Walls on him ON THE LADDER, ala Benoit at the 01 Rumble. Van Dam crashes to the floor and Jericho misses a dive onto him.

I’m sorry for all the play by play here but it’s one of those matches where there’s nothing to make fun of. Jericho finds a chair under the ring and RVD’s suicide dive eats chair. That only gets two so Jericho sends the arm into the post again. Back inside Jericho takes a spin kick for two but rolls out of the cover into a Fujiwara armbar but Rob makes the ropes. The fans are starting to get behind Jericho as he uses a chair on the arm and back. Here’s Stephanie to grab the chair but Jericho takes a BIG swing at her. She drops to the floor, letting Rob hit a Van Daminator and the Five Star to retain.

Rating: B+. Now this is more like it. This is a fine example of the match being about the guys using the weapons rather than the weapons being used on the guys and that almost always guarantees a better match. These are two guys that could have a good match no matter what the stipulation and that’s the formula for a great match. Jericho would turn heel soon after this but wouldn’t join the Alliance.

Booker fires himself up and Shane helps him. Shane wouldn’t mind winning the title either.

We recap Rock vs. Booker/Shane. Rock beat Booker in the main event of Summerslam for the WCW Title. Since Shane owned WCW he made the next match, which is a handicap match for the title. For some reason this is set to Rey’s old WCW music.

WCW World Title: Shane McMahon/Booker T vs. The Rock

If either of the heels get a pin, they win the title. Booker and Shane have to tag and Booker starts us off. Rock gets a quick neckbreaker for two as Shane makes the save. I’d expect that a lot tonight. The fans think Shane is a cat. A belly to back suplex gets two as Shane saves again. Shane tags himself in and runs into a fresh Rock. Rock fakes him out after a chase and the beating is on.

JR tries to talk about the WCW traditionalists hating the idea of Shane as champion. There are so many replies to that I’m not sure where to start. The WCW guys take over and work on Rock’s ribs. Rock counters Shane with the release overhead belly to belly and Shane is in trouble. Rock grabs a Sharpshooter and Booker makes the save. Outside we go and Shane hits a clothesline off the railing to put Rock down.

Shane may be annoying at times but for a guy that isn’t a regular wrestler he can pull off some good stuff. Booker actually covers after a snapmare which thankfully is good for only one. Outside again and Booker misses a big chair shot. Rock can’t get anything going because Shane interferes again. There’s a slingshot into the post which Rock can sell like no other.

Back inside IT’S A SPINAROONI!!! Rock grabs a rollup for two and we’re back on the floor again. Booker tries to set up the elbow for Shane but Rock moves and punches away. That doesn’t last long as he’s right back on the table again after a superkick. Back inside and Rock hits a Samoan Drop for no cover as Shane brings the belt in, accidentally clocking Booker with it.

A belt shot to Rock gets two and we’re back to a regular match for a few moments. Shane tries to hit his elbow but Rock rolls away. Rock fights them both off with punches and clotheslines. A DDT gets two on Booker. Shane takes Rock down and nips up, setting up a Shanebow. Rock nips up instead and plants Shane with the Rock Bottom. Spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow on Booker but here’s Test to break that up. Somehow this isn’t a DQ because Nick Patrick is corrupt.

Bradshaw comes out and chases Test into the crowd as a WWF referee is here now. Why? It’s a WCW Title match. He pulls Patrick out of the ring to break up a pin so Patrick beats up the WWF guy. Booker gets two on Rock so the WWF referee pulls Patrick out, only to get blasted by Booker. Book End is broken up and there’s a Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Oh wait yeah there is and it’s over.

Rating: C. This was fine at first and then it went all nuts. We had two wrestlers run-in, two referees fighting, two ref bumps, a pair of belt shots and a third ref in a handicap match with a crooked referee. And people wonder why it was claimed the main events were overbooked at this point. I mean dude, how hard is it to have Rock make a superman comeback and beat both guys with Rock Bottoms? Either way this wasn’t bad but overbooking killed it.

Tajiri wants to fight tonight even though he has bad ribs. Torrie begs to get to be at ringside to Regal and Regal gives in. Uh…point of this?

Stacy is at WWF New York and we get clips of her shaving her legs in a bath.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is champion. JR doesn’t get how Tajiri can date an Alliance chick in Torrie. Common sense never was Ross’ strong suit. Tajiri fires off some kicks and chops but the fans don’t care. To be fair this is a filler match between the Rock match and Austin vs. Angle. Rhyno gets in a shot and we hit the chinlock. Big spinebuster gets two. Rhyno goes after Torrie and loads up a Gore but Tajiri kicks him HARD in the face to break it up. Tornado DDT is countered so there’s an Octopus Hold and an attempted Tarantula. Buzzsaw Kick misses and a suplex sets up the Gore to give Rhyno the title.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but it wasn’t that awful. It needed to be on Smackdown as far as quality but at the same time it did let them have a buffer between the title matches which is a good idea. Also it’s not like there was much to see here so a nacho break was a good idea. Why did Tajiri want to fight here though?

We recap Austin vs. Angle. Austin couldn’t beat Angle at Summerslam and Angle kicked out of three Stunners. They kind of stalked each other and Austin stole the medals, throwing them in a river. Angle retaliated by taking a lead pipe and blasting Austin in the back of the head with it in Austin’s new truck. Austin was fine because it’s just a world class athlete hitting you in the back of the head with a lead pipe on an adrenaline rush. Nothing serious there.

He then blindfolded Austin and threatened to throw him in a river if Austin didn’t cry. In a funny bit Angle shoved him into a kid’s pool to make him think he was in a river. This resulted in Austin shoving him off a stage and injuring his neck. Angle gave an incredibly cool promo, ripping off his neck brace and saying that Austin knows that Angle can beat him. Check that promo out if you can find it.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Angle gets the hometown boy pop and Fink milks it perfectly. “From PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA!” Angle meets him on the ramp and here we go. Austin is hammered down and Angle is all fired up. The champ is all afraid to try the Stunner because either it won’t work or the kick to set it up could result in an ankle lock. Angle hits a Thesz Press and hammers away in the corner.

We head to the floor and Austin is reeling. Austin blocks a superplex but Kurt is like oh yes you are going and hits it on the second attempt. Austin grabs a sleeper but gets countered by a jawbreaker. He tries to leave with the title but Angle catches up to him and throws Austin off the ramp just like Austin did to him a few weeks ago. Angle puts him against the railing and pounds him down with punches and chops.

Kurt picks Austin up and carries him back to the ring, ramming him into the post. We’re seven minutes into this and it’s been 95% Angle. He stops to peel back the mats and Austin gets a knee to the back to take over. Piledriver on the floor doesn’t work and Austin is cut above the eye. Angle chops away and tries an Olympic piledriver but is backdropped as well.

Angle tries a suplex out there but Austin reverses and drops him onto the table. He does it again and the table is sturdy. Here’s a third try and it STILL doesn’t break. That’s a good table! Austin drives knees to the neck back inside. He talks trash to Kurt’s family in the front row which is why he’s a great heel: he knows how to get a crowd riled up which so few people today know how to do.

Off to the chinlock and I’m cool with that as they’ve been going hard for almost 15 minutes. Austin pounds on the back but gets caught in the Germans. It’s just three this time but Kurt is holding his neck. Austin tries a super belly to back but Kurt reverses into a bad looking cross body for two.

Release spinebuster puts Angle down and Austin kicks him in the little Olympians. The referee is shoved so Angle kicks Austin low to even things up. A DDT sends Austin to the floor and we’re running out of time. This has been pretty good but it’s certainly no classic. Back in Angle stuns Austin for two. Austin hits a belly to back suplex called the Angle Slam. I mean he didn’t even try to change it. A piledriver gets a close two and Austin is getting mad. He loads up the Stunner but Angle grabs the boot and the ankle lock gives Angle the title.

Rating: B. The match was certainly good but it’s not on the level I think they were hoping for. It never quite hit that level of intensity and violence and Angle’s neck injury didn’t quite live up to the amount of intensity that I think it was supposed to. Definitely good though, just not a classic.

Angle’s family comes in for the huge celebration post match. The WWF comes in too and it’s a huge party. He would lose the title in 15 days so this doesn’t mean much long term. Still though it’s a very cool moment here.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good bit above last year’s show and the length of the matches help it. The Alliance Era wasn’t kind though and the future of a ton of title matches on every show proves to be a coming problem. Angle winning the title was a cool moment but Rock is a world champion also. It kind of deflates it a bit no? Still though, fun show and one of the better ones of this era.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 1998
Location: Tsongas Arena, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on Saturday again for our first of two Raws in three days. We’re continuing the push to Breakdown on the 28th. We’re in the full stretch of Austin vs. Vince now as Vince is trying to have Kane and Undertaker get the title off Austin by manipulating them somehow. Other than that we’re kind of transitioning from the Summer to the end of the year which culminates at Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

The arena looks really different here as the aisle is shaped like an L instead of a straight line, so the video screen (not the Titantron) is on the opposite side from the camera instead of on the side if that makes sense.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Edge

Jarrett takes over quickly and rams Edge into the buckle. Edge comes back with an enziguri and here’s Southern Justice with a guitar. Jeff hits a powerslam for two. Northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. They’re going back and forth very quickly here. Out to the floor goes Edge but he comes back with a top rope cross body for two. Jarrett hits what would become the Stroke for no cover. DDT gets two for Jarrett as does a catapult into the buckle for Edge. Edge hits two Amigos and a sitout gordbuster for the third. And there’s the guitar shot for the DQ loss for Jarrett.

Rating: C. This was getting good until the end with the lame ending. Edge was a great addition to the roster in a few years but here he was still learning his stuff pretty slowly. Jarrett got MUCH better after getting his haircut and starting the guitar stuff. Also dropping the stupid country music stuff helped a lot.

Austin vs. Kane vs. Undertaker later tonight. Gee that’s kind of a quick addition.

Bradshaw vs. Darren Drozdov

Droz has a torn bicep coming into this. Bradshaw runs him down almost immediately and suplexes Droz for two. Droz comes back with a powerslam but gets backdropped to the floor. Back in the big boot misses and Drozdov hits a big shoulder block to take over. Apparently that triple threat I mentioned earlier is for Breakdown, not tonight. Droz counters the Clothesline and hits a DDT followed by a three point clothesline for two. Bradshaw scoops the feet in the corner and puts his own feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but I never got the appeal of Droz. When you have what he had as a gimmick there’s only so far you can go but he tried. Bradshaw was just waiting for the APA to hook up so he’d have anything to do. Until then he was just a ticked off Texan of which there were about a hundred over the years. Not bad, but just a filler.

I think this show was more like a special rather than a full episode of Raw as we get a long recap of Austin/Kane/Undertaker from over the summer.

Mark Mero vs. Miguel Perez

Yeah this is acting a lot more like a special as there aren’t any promos or anything but a bunch of quick matches. Also it seems like this show is a little shorter than most usual ones. Feeling out process to start as Perez is using his speed advantage to take over. A dropkick puts Mero on the floor and Marc slows things down a bit. Top wristlock gets no one anywhere but Mero takes over with a clothesline in the corner. Perez comes back with a dropkick and standing moonsault for two. DDT gets the same but Perez walks into the TKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here but it was a glorified squash which I’m not a fan of. At the very least we didn’t have to hear Jackie talk during this. Perez was never on Raw again so at least he went out losing. Granted I don’t think I ever saw him win so this isn’t a shock. Is it clear I’m trying to fill in this space yet?

The Oddities aren’t worried about the DOA later.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Oddities

Golga and Kurrgan here. The ICP play them to the ring again here which was probably a bigger deal back then. Kurrgan and I think Skull start things off before it’s time for the jumping Cartman loving Earthquake. King has Golga’s Cartman next to him with the crown on it. Golga loads up the Earthquake….and the top rope breaks. It falls off the corner and Golga gets choked with it. The ICP run in for the DQ because the ring is broken.

The clowns get beaten up post match.

Here’s Rock with something to say. He wants to talk about the ladder match at Summerslam where he beat up HHH for thirty minutes but then HHH climbed the ladder and stole the Rock’s Intercontinental Title. The Rock will always be the People’s Champion though. Lately though people have had issues knowing their roles. Those people would be the Undertaker and Kane. Kane isn’t going to get away with chokeslamming the Rock and sometime soon Rock will be coming for Kane. This would be something very close to a face turn.

And now for something completely different, here’s the Lion’s Den match from Summerslam, in its entirety.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This match is taking place in a theater adjacent to MSG. I know that because Ross said that this match is taking place in a theater adjacent to MSG. So this is the WWF version of the UFC cage but they’re wrestling a WWF style match in there, which is about what you’d expect I guess, as it’s pretty clear Shamrock wouldn’t have much trouble in a real MMA fight with Owen.

Hart would hang on for awhile, but it’s not likely he would have much of a chance in the long run. The cage offers some different effects, but it’s nothing earth shattering. It’s better than a normal match would have been though, as it suits Shamrock very well. Speaking of that, he hits a sweet move as he gets a running start and plants his foot on the cage to jump backwards and catch Owen with I think either a back elbow or a dropkick.

Either way it looks very good and he nailed him with it. The cage isn’t really offering a lot of differences, but the main one is on whips. With no ropes, you’re just hitting cage, which has to hurt pretty badly. Hart gets the sharpshooter, which Ross says no one does better. Remind me never to leave WWF.

This is likely the coolest spot of the match as Shamrock crawls to the cage and climbs it while in the Sharpshooter, forcing the hold to be broken. The problem is they just brush over it, despite it being brilliant. Owen gets a choke on him but Shamrock runs up the cage to backflip out of it and gets the real ankle lock, not the Angle lock, to get the win.

Rating: B-. This was a weird concept and I guess it worked. It didn’t really fail, but it just wasn’t the best thing in the world. Overall the in cage stuff was fine, but it just wasn’t to my liking and I’m glad it only happened like three times. Shamrock never quite clicked in the WWF until the next year, so that can’t get here soon enough.

Too Much vs. Southern Justice

Christopher and Knight start with Lawler playing cheerleader for his son. Off to Taylor who doesn’t have the same luck. Knight kicks him in the chest which gets a hug from Christopher. From what I can tell, Too Much was going to be Billy and Chuck in the Attitude Era but it didn’t come together. It turns into a power vs. speed match as Brian tries a cross body out of the corner but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Hot tag brings in Scotty but there’s too much power for Too Much and the Slop Drop pins Scotty.

Rating: D. Whatever again here man. It’s very clear that this is just a placeholder show until we get to the real stuff again in two days. That gets really annoying though as we have to sit through a show with stuff like we’ve gotten so far. I watched Summerslam so why would I want to see that match again on Raw?

Promo of the old guys saying they love the new generation.

Dustin Runnels vs. Vader

Dustin is wearing the “He Is Coming Back” shirt. Vader drills him and pounds him down but is too fat to be Vader anymore. The beating goes on for awhile but Dustin gets in a shot to break the momentum. He makes his comeback (get it?) but sees Val in the crowd with a sign saying “I Have Come.” Ok that’s kind of funny. Vader jumps the distracted Dustin and actually wins the match with a Vader Bomb. This was very short.

Video on Sable, focusing on her match from Summerslam.

Al Snow is here and wants to talk to Vince. He gets Slaughter, Patterson and Brisco instead. It’s a comedy segment that ends with Patterson getting a shot between the legs from Head. Get this show over with already!

The Headbangers think it’s Saturday.

Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Brown and Mosh start things off with Mosh in control. Off to Thrasher who hits a flapjack for two. Henry comes in and it takes double teaming to take him down. A double suplex puts Henry down and it’s back to Mosh vs. D’Lo, with the latter hitting a running powerbomb for two. The Headbangers throw the Nation together and here’s Chyna for the DQ. Too short to mean anything but it was bad.

D-Generation X vs. Kai En Tai

Taka and Roadie start things off. The Outlaws double team Taka so it’s time for Funaki. Men’s Teioh comes in and the squash continues. HHH comes in and doesn’t bother to take his hat off. HHH chops him in the chest and hits the high knee before bringing Dogg back in. The heels take over and quadruple team Road Dogg with elbows and a dropkick from Taka. Top rope splash gets two for Togo. Road Dogg moves from a top rope splash from Taka and it’s off to Pac. Things speed up and everything breaks down. A gorilla press from Billy into the X-Factor pins Taka.

Rating: C-. A squash match to end this wretched show. For some reason that doesn’t surprise me. There was never any doubt that DX was going to win this and they never broke a sweat. The Nation didn’t even come out to try to avenge the earlier DQ loss. In other words, it’s a pretty worthless main event, although that finisher was cool.

HHH gets a fan to flash DX to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. For the love of all things good and holy, NEVER LET AUSTIN AND VINCE BE OFF THE SHOW AGAIN! This was one of the least interesting shows I can ever remember with no main event guys showing up and therefore making it almost a lame house show. I don’t know if everyone else was on vacation or what but this show came off like it was nothing. The ONLY thing of note here is Rock calling out Kane which could have been done on any other show. Just horrible and totally not needed, especially with regular Raw being back in two days.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I know I say I hate this, but for once I got an idea in my head and I liked what I saw. This isn’t a fully fleshed out idea, but it’s more for the Cena promo that I would have loved to hear him say tonight. The answer, as most answers are, is found in a Rocky movie. Before I start this, I know full well this would never work on WWE TV, I know it has holes in it, I know it isn’t going to happen.  I get that.

Now the crux of this is based on the Brock interview that they’ve aired for the last two weeks.  The idea here is that Brock has dominated everything (not named professional football) that he’s ever competed in.  Everything from amateur wrestling to pro wrestling to the UFC, he’s gone to the top of it with no one being able to stand in his path.  Lesnar is a finely tuned athletic killing machine that has never been stopped no matter what he attempts.

On the other side you have John Cena, who played college football and is the top man in the WWE and has been for about the last 7 years.  He started very slowly and worked his way to the top.  The idea is that Cena works his way through every problem he faces and even when he fails, he never gives in and never quits.  He spent years and years perfecting his craft, unlike Lesnar who has basically come in and within a month or two is the top dog everywhere.

This presents a very strong dichotomy between the two and gives you an angle to play off of.  This is where Rocky V comes in.  For those of you that haven’t seen it, the end of the movie is a confrontation between Rocky and Tommy Gunn.  Rocky is a street fighter who had no high class training and was very raw for the most part of his career.  Gunn was trained well and became a polished fighter.  Now at the beginning of the movie, Rocky has been told that he can never step foot into a boxing ring again due to fear of head trauma.  This is where the connection kicks in.

By the end of the movie the two are about to fight each other but Gunn’s manager says that Tommy only fights in the ring.  Rocky says “my ring’s outside.”  Now THIS is where the WWE should pick up on things.  The idea is that Lesnar has dominated everything he’s done, but everything he’s done has had rules.  Even in the UFC, everything is regulated and under control at all times.  Play up Cena’s background as more of a street brawler (if you flash WAY back in his career it’s there) and how he’s not a polished killing machine like Lesnar, but at Extreme Rules, Lesnar doesn’t have anything under control.  It’s on Cena’s terms, not Brock’s.  It’s a street fight, not a match with rounds and rules and on Sunday, anything goes.

To cap it off, picture Cena saying something like this: “And Brock, this Sunday in Chicago, if you think the beatings you took in the UFC were bad, you just wait.  There ain’t gonna be a referee to pull me off you like when you guys like Cain Velazquez and Allastair Overeem beating your face into a cage.  That’s what happens when you lose control: you get beaten up Brock.  I’m not stopping until the job’s done and I’m the one left standing.  See you on Sunday.”

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2012
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s a three hour show in Detroit tonight. In theory this was going to be the Draft but with the Super Show having guys from both shows on it, there’s no real need to have one. Del Rio was officially traded to Smackdown so they could probably have things like that instead of wasting a full show on a Draft. That’s probably a good idea as you can use time on other stuff. Today is also Cena’s birthday if that means anything. Let’s get to it.

Let’s burn it to the ground.

We open with the Lesnar vs. Cena contract signing, moderated by Teddy Long. Teddy screws up something about the number of titles Cena has won, because CLEARLY which title he’s won makes a difference right? Brock gets his entrance but it’s Ace instead. Brock isn’t here yet so the signing will be later. Also tonight might be Cena’s last night on Raw, so get out of his ring.

Ace goes to leave…..and here’s Edge. He says he’s off his contract in a few days after this but he’s here to talk to Cena. However this isn’t the real Cena standing in front of him. Edge came to talk to the John Cena who is his greatest rival ever in the WWE. The real Cena is the one that beat him at TLC in Toronto and threw him in the Long Island Sound. Maybe it was Rock beating him that changed Cena, because big losses can change people, like Andre losing to Hogan and the Screwjob and such.

Cena has to find what’s inside of him because this is all that both Edge and Cena have ever done. This isn’t what Lesnar is all about. He doesn’t care about these people unless they can line his pockets. Brock was gone for eight years while Cena and Edge were carrying the load. A loss to Lesnar is a slap in the face of guys like Undertaker, Michaels and Edge, so Cena needs to wake up. He isn’t asking Cena to beat Lesnar. He’s telling him to. This was pretty freaking awesome.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi quickly knocks him to the floor and has to do the hair bounce off the top rope thing because Jericho moved out of the way. Back in Jericho easily takes over and chops Kofi down before hooking a headlock. A charge into the corner misses and Jericho is knocked to the floor. Kofi hits a HUGE flip dive over the top which looked awesome. Chris is down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock (duh) due to the springboard dropkick during the break. The bulldog puts Kofi down but the Lionsault misses. Standing rana gets two for Kofi but Chris hits a clothesline to take him down. Kofi pops back up for the top rope cross body and the SOS for two each. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Walls attempt but Kofi escapes. He tries a springboard something but jumps into the Codebreaker. Liontamer ends this at 12:00.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end. Kofi is great in this spot and I’d have few problems if he stayed here for awhile. He can be given a quick push if need be but he’s fitting in very well as a high flying jobber to the stars. There’s nothing wrong with being in this place on the card for a long stretch as a lot of people have had fine careers here.

Jericho says he’s going to win the title on Sunday and has a present for Punk when his title reign ends.

We get a clip of Lesnar debuting (in the ring) against Jeff Hardy and winning by KO at Backlash 2002.

Ace is on the phone when Eve comes in. He tells her to call him Johnny and offers her an opening in his administration. The job would be Executive Administrator which she accepts. He wants a hug but gets a handshake instead.

We get some of the sitdown interview from last week with Lesnar.

Punk is in the back and his gift is a big basket of liquor. Punk keeps one bottle which he says he’ll give to Jericho at the PPV and gives the rest of the basket to Josh. This could be interesting.

Lord Tensai vs. R-Truth

This is kind of a drop in opponent quality for Tensai. Tensai’s inset promo is mostly in Japanese. Tensai no sells a lot of Truth’s offense and runs him over. He fires off the headbutts in the corner and Truth is in trouble. Backsplash hits and the Baldo Bomb sets up the Mist Claw for the win at 2:00.

Here’s Kane to talk about the match on Sunday with Orton. Orton can’t beat Kane with rules as was proven at Wrestlemania so why would he think that he can beat Kane without them? Orton is struggling with humanity and hates that Kane has discovered his one true weakness. Kane has found Orton’s shoulders? He calls Randy a scared boy looking for his father. Orton pops up on the screen and says he wants to get into this too. Behind him is Paul Bearer tied up in a chair. Orton throws him inside what looks like a freezer. Kane says he doesn’t care because his father is the devil himself.

Kane goes to leave but Orton comes up the aisle for a slugout. Kane gets rammed into the steps and then the post with a good looking shot. Orton finds a pipe from somewhere and beats Kane up with it, sending Kane up through the crowd.

Jericho is in the back and runs into Alex Riley, who says he thinks Punk is drinking from the bottle of alcohol he was given. They go to his locker room and see him on the phone having a drink from a red cup with the bottle next to it, but you can’t tell what’s in the cup. Jericho looks happily stunned.

Alberto Del Rio/Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show/Great Khali

Cody vs. Show II is announced for the PPV and the stipulation is to be determined. They don’t know it by now? That can’t be a good sign. Khali is limping from the attack on Friday. He and Cody start and Cody’s kick is easily countered. Khali goes after the knee of Cody but when he loads up the chop Cody bails to the floor. Back inside Rhodes immediately tags out and Alberto fires a kick to the knee. That gets him nowhere other than into the corner for some chops.

We take a break and come back with the hot tag to Big show so he can beat on Del Rio. Cody pulls the rope down and sends Show to the floor for some work on the knee. The heels work over the knee with Cody hooking the Figure Four. It’s not as bad as the one from Friday but it’s still pretty bad. Show comes back and Del Rio walks out, allowing the chokeslam to pin Cody at 10:20.

Rating: D+. Oh good freaking grief this company makes my head HURT. There’s a title match on Sunday (one of five total on the show I believe) and they decide to have the champion, who has dominated the challenger for a month now, dominate him again. I mean, heaven forbid that Khali gets pinned or that Big Show takes a fluke fall to make us think that Cody has a chance right?

Santino defends the US Title against Miz on the pre-show on Sunday, because THE UNITED STATES TITLE ISN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO PUT ON A FREAKING PAY PER VIEW!

Jericho is with Ace, Eve and Teddy, saying that Punk needs to be stripped of the title. Eve says that there’s a WWE rule saying that you can’t drink alcohol within 12 hours of a WWE show. There’s going to be a field sobriety test later. Jericho leaves and Teddy gets yelled at for not following the rules. He gets to administer the test later and possibly strip Punk of the title.

Lesnar is here and shoves Josh against a wall. Brock walks away and Josh says he’s just trying to do his job, which earns him a trip through the interview set.

Back from a break and Josh is being put on a stretcher.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real.

Punk freaks out and breaks stuff because he has to have a sobriety test.

Here’s Teddy with two cops for the sobriety test. Jericho comes out to observe this. Punk comes out and is acting shaky because he’s drunk you see. He drops the belt as he’s standing in the ring. It’s not Hawk in 98 bad but I don’t see a clear ending to this. Punk talks about how ridiculous this is, and the whole WWF (yes WWF) Universe says this is ridiculous. First up is he has to recite the alphabet backwards. He can’t do it and says it’s stupid because no one can do that sober or drunk.

Next up is walking a red line that’s in the ring. “I’ve seen Cops before. This is easy.” He does a Karate Kid impression but can’t do this either. The second officer says that Punk is obviously intoxicated and the cops are sent away. Teddy asks for the title and Punk doesn’t want to do it of course. He hands Teddy the title but before it goes to Jericho Punk wants one more chance. He tries to do the alphabet backwards again and does it very slowly (messing up the S and the T) but does it at the same time as walking a straight line, before moonwalking and strutting through the end. Punk gets it right and destroys Jericho.

Clip of Lesnar destroying Hogan on Smackdown. I really don’t get why this is supposed to be a big deal.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Daniel Bryan gets to be guest referee. They trade power to start but Bryan stops him from throwing a punch. Remember that Sheamus is on the referee probation. Henry runs Sheamus over and covers with Bryan counting the pin in less than a second, ending it at 1:36.

Post match Sheamus goes after Bryan but has to kick Henry’s head off first. He takes Sheamus’ knee out and kicks him in the head before putting on the YES Lock.

Brodus/Horny vs. Ziggler/Swagger later on has its own sponsor: Taco Bell.

Back from a break Sheamu

s thinks Bryan is a coward and a snake in the grass. He’s going to get the same treatment that the snakes in Ireland got, but Sheamus is no saint. I like Sheamus A LOT more (which is saying a lot as he might be my favorite wrestler right now) when he has some adversity instead of just plowing over everyone.

Primo/Epico vs. Zach Ryder/Santino Marella

Ryder and Epico start things off with Zach taking over with an armbar. He sends Epico into the corner and hits the boot but Rosa distracts him from hitting the Rough Ryder. Out to the floor and Ryder gets sent into the post which gets one in the ring. The champs hammer away on him but Primo misses a springboard flip dive, allowing the hot tag to Santino. He loads up the Cobra as Ryder takes out Epico. Primo dropkicks Santino down but Santino backflips to his feet and the Cobra gets the pin at 3:18. It was stupid but I found it funny so that’s all that matters.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what to think of this. On one hand I’m glad Ryder isn’t getting destroyed by another main event guy, but at the same time the tag titles are about as valuable as the CWF Bahamanian Title right now. Then again, the titles have been dead for a long time now so I think it’s excusable.

Kane sneaks into the freezer and gets Paul out. Paul thanks him for saving him, but Kane shoves him back in again. Ok then.

Epico and Primo are arguing when Abraham Washington comes in and wants to know why they’re being treated like jokes who can’t get on Wrestlemania or can’t get an entrance. He gives them his card and they seem interested.

Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

This is presented by Taco Bell. Whatever pays the bills. Horny starts with Swagger before it’s off to Dolph. He stands on Horny’s head but Horny comes back with a headscissors. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and the fat dancing dinosaur from another planet runs over the All American Hitler Youth. Vickie comes in for the DQ at 1:55.

Horny, the dancers and Brodus surround her but she goes to get Brodus’ hat and puts it on Clay’s head. Horny bites her and that’s it.

Lesnar headlined Mania 19. His concussion isn’t mentioned or shown.

Here’s the rest of the interview with Brock last week.

Ace comes out to run the contract signing. Brock comes out to a decent pop. And there’s no Cena. Lesnar calls him out but there’s still no Cena. Brock gets in Ace’s face a bit but says that he needs to talk about why Brock was late earlier today. He asks Ace to sit down and talk about some changes that Lesnar wants and needs. Since he’s been back, he’s not happy with how things are going.

Brock has some demands/requests that Ace is going to have to sign off on them. He has a copy of those changes that have to go through before Sunday, preferably right now or he’s not signing to face Cena. Brock says he’s not a naive farm boy like he was eight years ago. Instead he knows this company needs him. If he’s going to be the face of the company, he wants all of Ace’s ideas run by him first. He wants Vince’s private jet to and from the venues for Raw.

Beating people up makes him happy, so when he got he got here and had to deal with what he hates, that being stupid people, he beat someone up. He’ll show up on Raw when and how he wants. Ace can’t fine Brock like he did Sheamus and Brock wants more money also. Until those demands are met, there’s no match on Sunday. Oh and the show needs to be called Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. Ace shakes his hand and says he agrees to those terms. Brock signs and here comes Cena.

Cena has the chain and the lock around his neck. I think this is Serious Cena. He has the chain in his hand now and looks at the contract but doesn’t sign it yet. Cena looks at it again but still won’t sign. Lesnar taunts him and Cena takes the contract out of the folder. Brock says he likes the feeling he’s getting from Cena because it feels like it’s real.

He says Cena is scared and that he’s the reason Cena lost last week. He keeps saying Cena is scared which makes Cena sign. Cena has the right hand with the chain cocked back and Brock has his hand cocked as well. There goes the table but Brock smiles and shakes his finger no. Cena never said a word. Brock leaves to a ton of booing for the first time since he’s been back. And we’re done with a 15 minute overrun.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show as it felt like a go home show. Instead of your usual stuff, we got a lot of solid build to the major matches. Why was it solid? BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALL THE SAME! They mixed stuff up, like with the two world title matches. It’s so refreshing to see something different like that instead of the same stuff time after time.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Walls of Jericho
Lord Tensai b. R-Truth – Claw Hold
Big Show/Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes/Alberto Del Rio – Chokeslam to Rhodes
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Rollup
Mark Henry b. Sheamus – Clothesline
Zach Ryder/Santino Marella b. Epico/Primo – Cobra to Primo
Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Vickie Guerrero interfered

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

On Raw tonight Santino got dropkicked but backflipped to his feet to hit the Cobra for a pin. It was so stupid but at the same time I loved it. What are some moments of yours that are so stupid and/or ridiculous that they’re great?For me, it’s the Reviving Elbow.  This was one of the best thinking outside the box moments I can remember in a LONG time.  It’s from WCW in I think early 1995.  Hogan and Savage are in a tag match against two guys that aren’t important enough to remember.  They beat Hulk down but get distracted by something or other.  Savage can’t get Hogan up, so he goes up top and hits the big elbow on him which brings Hogan back to life.  That’s so crazy and creative that it’s GREAT.  Youtube it.

Your picks?

PWF Homecoming
Date: March 11, 1989
Location: Florida State Fairgrounds, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Diamond Dallas Page

Now here’s one I’d bet 99% of you have never heard of. This is the Professional Wrestling Federation, which is a company that Dusty Rhodes started in Florida once the CWF went out of business. That’s about the extent of what I know about this show. Well that and that it takes place in 1989. I have no idea what else to expect here and this is the only show of theirs that I know of. Let’s get to it.

Page and Solie welcome us to the show and tell us where the show is taking place at which is nice. The main event is the Steelman vs. Dusty for the inaugural PWF World Title. There’s a match going on in the background but we can’t see who it is or what’s going on. Steelman is apparently about 400lbs.

There are two “reporters” talking about the show.

Dusty is getting ready in the back.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Lou Perez vs. Jim Backlund

Backlund is champion I think. It seems that Perez is the crowd favorite here. Backlund takes him to the mat with a headlock and they get back up quickly. Perez jumps over him a bunch of times and this has something to do with Florida Championship Wrestling as well. No idea what but I don’t think it really matters for the most part. Backlund works on the arm and we have five minutes remaining. This was the match that was going on when we started. Nice job guys.

Backlund dropkicks him down with four minutes left in this boring match. Perez comes back with a backdrop for two. Something like a Boss Man Slam puts Backlund down but Perez hurt himself too. Two minutes left and Lou gets a near fall on a sunset flip. They hit heads and go down again to kill more time. Snap suplex by Backlund with a minute left and he goes up top. His splash misses and Perez hits a dropkick for two. Time runs out so Backlund keeps the title.

Rating: D. What a boring match. This was 1980s small people wrestling in a nutshell: neither guy was particularly good, but you can have a Junior Heavyweight Titles so put it on someone. This resulted in REALLY boring matches like these and about four guys ever getting the title. The problem is that these guys wrestled like heavyweights but at about half the speed for some reason. It never was very good until some Japanese and Mexican guys came in and actually did something interesting. I’ve never heard of either guy anyway.

Bobby Jaggers/Johnny Ace/Black Bart/The Terminator vs. Nasty Boys/Italian Stallion/Bubble Gum Kid

This should be….uh…..interesting. And yes it’s the same Johnny Ace. Bart and Jaggers are the Southern Force. Ace and Terminator, his less famous brother, are tag champions. Stallion and Bart get things going as Page talks about Ace’s trunks. Jaggers gets slammed as does Bart so it’s Bart in officially now. Knobbs comes in and has a bad shoulder apparently. Off to Sags and then Bubble Gum Kid. Seriously, who named him that?

The Nasties help Stallion to cheat on Terminator so here’s Ace. The problem with a match with this many people in it is that you can’t keep up with who tags in. Also there’s not enough time to get anything going so it’s kind of a mess. Kid hipblocks everyone so Page complains about him being too flashy. Even Gordon gets on Page for that. Stallion comes in and gets out of the heel corner followed by some dancing.

It’s Jaggers vs. Stallion at the moment with Jaggers looking afraid to charge in at him. Back to ace who has flower power going on with the tights. Page has a habit of putting the word baby at the end of every sentence. Knobbs comes in to face Bart and gets caught in the heel corner where they work over his bad shoulder. We finally have our face in peril. It’s off to Ace to work on the arm and then back to Terminator.

Now it’s Bart working on the arm and as soon as I finish typing that it’s Jaggers. Sags tries to come in which doesn’t do any good so it’s Terminator in for more punishment. Knobbs manages a clothesline and gets the tag to Bubble Gum Kid. Everything breaks down as you knew it was going to do at some point. Kid goes up but gets hit in the head with a bradning iron, allowing Bart to steal the pin.

Rating: D. Another uninteresting match here for the reasons that I gave you earlier on. There were just way too many people in there and because of that it was really hard to get a story going. The shoulder was about what you would expect here and it’s amazing how the Nasty Boys were in essence the same guys for so many years. This was nothing but a way to get a bunch of people out there though.

We talk to some suit who is president of the organization. He says the future will mean something and that’s about it. We also see the PWF Title for the first time.

Terry Funk vs. Dustin Rhodes

There’s some guy with a big sign at ringside which looks like a protest sign. It’s a pro-Dustin sign, calling him America’s Baby. Terry gets in an argument with some fan in the third row. He breaks the sign too just because he’s Terry Funk. The guy tries to get the sign back so Terry beats him up. Dustin comes out and dropkick Funk’s manager Oliver Humperdink.

Apparently this is some continuation of the Funk vs. Rhodes war which I don’t remember ever starting. I do however remember it continuing for years on end. Terry suplexes him back into the ring and the beating begins. Piledriver hits but Funk won’t cover. Dustin is a total rookie at this point so it should be a squash. An eventual cover gets two. Dustin whips him into the corner and Funk goes over the corner and to the floor.

Terry comes back and throws him to the floor as Page talks about Dusty’s loins. Dustin comes back with punches and they head inside. Back elbow gets two. There are two slams and a suplex. It’s clear Dustin has very little ring time at this point so his offense is incredibly limited. Funk punches himself in the face to wake himself up and heads to the outside again.

Dustin elbows him in the head as Funk is coming in. It’s clear that Funk’s selling is designed to make Dustin look much better than he has any right to be at this point. They brawl on the floor a bit before heading back inside for choking from Funk. He’s got something in his hands to choke with because he’s Terry Funk and therefore evil. Dustin comes up with a backdrop and a Dusty elbow to the head. Humperdink comes in with a rope, only to get beaten up. Funk chokes Dustin with the rope for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was probably the best match of the night so far and it was Dustin using the same moves over and over, which to be fair isn’t his fault. He had only debuted about six months before this so he was lucky he had someone like Funk in there that could walk him through the whole thing. Boring match but it could have been a lot worse. Rhodes had talent but he needed to get out of his dad’s shadow and get experience.

Italian Stallion and the Nasties make the save from a worse beating because Papa Rhodes was too busy I guess.

The Commandos vs. The Star Riders

No idea who any of these people are but the Commandos are big fat guys while the Riders are small guys. The fat guys jump the Riders and we start with the white Commando vs. we’ll say Rider #1. Off to the black Commando as this is comprised of a lot of clubbing on the back so far.

Back to the white one who misses a corner splash while Page implies Gordon is a cross dresser. Here’s Rider #2 and their names are apparently Rock and Blade. The black Commando is named Ray. Rider #1 is Blade. Ok then. The heels (Commandos) cheat, resulting in a double team clothesline and a splash by the white one gets the pin. This was too short to rate but it’s clear that all of these guys are REALLY green.

Terry Funk says he liked being in Hollywood but he’s back now. Oh and he won’t sleep with the interviewer woman, which is probably going to stop half of her questions. Terry wants to talk about Dusty Rhodes but the interviewer talks about Dustin. Funk wants to take away Dusty’s pride. He wants a Texas Chain Match with Dusty.

Florida State Title: Al Perez vs. Mike Graham

Mike is champion and this is No DQ for no apparent reason. Graham takes him to the mat immediately as is his custom. He hooks a leg lock and this is already boring. Perez gets out of it so Graham puts him right back into it. Al rolls to the floor before coming back in for some forearms to the back. Perez is sent to the floor and then into the post. This match is already boring, much like most of Graham’s stuff.

Back in and Perez takes over, catapulting Mike into the corner. Time for the chinlock to keep the riveting going. The match isn’t bad mind you, but it’s REALLY uninteresting. The No DQ rule hasn’t meant anything yet either. Al throws his feet on the ropes to establish that he’s a heel. Graham gets up and hits a single punch to put both guys down. Right back to the chinlock which has almost no torque on it.

This is one of those matches with nothing to talk about. The No DQ rule is probably here for the ending but it’s making the match even less interesting because you’re waiting on a brawl to break out but it’s just a boring wrestling match. Back to the chinlock for a third time which is broken up after a minute or two. They collide twice to really emphasize that they’re both down.

There goes the referee and Perez gets a chair and a shot to the arm which apparently is injured. Thanks for telling us that 10 minutes into the match guys. Graham comes back with the good arm and knocks Perez to the floor. The arm is sent into the post and Perez goes after it very slowly. Back into the ring for a key lock and they roll around on the mat for a bit with the hold on. Perez turns it into a pin and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: F. It was boring, there was no justification for the No DQ ruling, the rule didn’t come into play until the referee went down which made no sense and the ending was lame as the cheating could have happened with nothing at all with the arm shot. Graham is a guy that you hear good things about and while he’s technically sound, I’ve yet to see him have a good match.

Scott Hall/Steve Keirn vs. Dick Slater/Bam Bam Bigelow

Keirn has an alligator with him named Wally. Get the reference? Gordon says this is an Australian tag match, whatever that means. Bigelow and Hall start things off. Bigelow is the only one here that looks like he usually looks. Hall works on the arm and brings it’s off to Slater who takes over. Back to Bigelow who looks silly working on the arm. Monster heels go after RIBS man. RIBS. Bam Bam misses a headbutt and Hall hits a dropkick.

Off to Keirn who works on the arm as well. Slater is knocked to the floor and Keirn suplexes him back in for one. This is another boring match. Swinging neckbreker from Slater puts Keirn down but he won’t tag. I guess it’s supposed to tease tension or something. Slater drops an elbow for a delayed two. Keirn hooks a sleeper so Bigelow makes the save. Hall knocks Slater down and after about a day and a half Keirn tags him in. A quick sunset flip gets the pin. Oh and apparently Slater and Bigelow are part of Page’s stable.

Rating: D-. Scott Hall’s mustache alone keeps this from failing. Other than that there’s NOTHING here that anyone should want to see. This show continues a complete lack of being able to tell us anything about the stories leading up to the match. Bigelow and Slater are in the Diamond Exchange? Thanks for telling us that with 10 seconds left in the match. It really made the ending epic.

Slater goes after Humperdink post match but Bigelow beats down Slater.

Page is in the ring but let’s go to Gordon and whatever that interviewer chick is named. Nothing at all is said so let’s go back to the ring. The president presents the title belt to the referee. Page is ring announcing apparently.

PWF World Title: Big Steel Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Big Steel Man is Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Dusty comes out to Old Time Rock And Roll. Well at least he has good taste. Oh apparently Page is the manager of Big Steel Man. That sounds like something a 4 year old would come up with. Steel Man shoves Dusty around a lot to start. Dusty comes back with an elbow. That sequence took over a minute somehow. Dusty jumps (yes, jumps) into a bearhug two minutes into the match. This match is really looking down in a hurry.

Dusty elbows out of it and goes to the floor, only to have his shoulder rammed into the post. Back inside Steel Man works over the arm with a wristlock. The guy is 370lbs and he’s using a move that a cruiserweight could use. That’s not a compliment in this case. The arm goes into the buckle and Big Steel drops four legdrops in a row followed by a missed top rope splash. Dusty rolls over quickly and gets the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: F. OH COME ON! After this horrible show, the big star’s match for the world title isn’t even eight minutes long? There was no build at all and the ending didn’t do anything for the crowd, as they didn’t have a chance to get ready. Also, Dusty looks like a weak champion as all he did was move out of the way instead of hitting a move of his own. Horrible main event to a terrible show.

The Diamond Exchange comes in to work on Dusty’s arm. Keirn comes in and lays on Dusty to protect him instead of, you know, hitting the heels with a chair or something. Dusty gets up because his help sucks and clears the ring.

Overall Rating: F. When the only good thing there is to say about a show is that it’s relatively short, that’s a pretty sure sign that the show is horrible. The wrestling is bad, there are almost no stories in sight and there’s nothing redeeming here at all. It comes off like a really bad indy show with guys that haven’t been around for years. From what I can tell these guys were CWF/Florida Championship Wrestling guys, and if that’s the case I’m NEVER watching that company again. Horrible show.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Bash at the Beach 1997
Date: July 13, 1997
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 7,851
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

I’ll be doing the three Bashes in a row and then probably just doing individual shows again for awhile. It’s 1997 and the unofficial anniversary of the NWO being formed. This was in that weird period for WCW as everything was setting up for Sting vs. Hogan, but at the same time it took forever to get there because we waited 9 months between Sting’s moment of showing he was WCW and the actual match. The main event here is Luger/Giant vs. Hogan/Rodman. As in Dennis Rodman. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is Luger ranting about the NWO and how Rodman has been all mean to them and jumped them a few times.

The announcers talk a bit and apparently Page has a mystery partner for later that is either Curt Hennig, Sting or Raven.

Mortis/Wrath vs. Ernest Miller/Glacier

These four seemingly had more matches on PPV than I can count. Glacier is all ticked off to start and spears down Mortis so he can pound on him. He looks at Wrath and freezes him somehow so that Miller can hit a springboard dropkick to take the big man down. Off to Miller vs. Wrath now as we’re told Miller played for the Falcons and Patriots. I can’t find any evidence of this anywhere else and I’ve never heard of it otherwise. Why does that not shock me?

Miller fires off some kicks but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a middle rope elbow misses. Glacier comes in and hits a double dropkick with Miller to Wrath for two. Glacier goes to the floor where Mortis beats him up a bit. Wrath hits a pretty nice running somersault off the apron to take out the ice enthusiast. He finds a chair to put against Glacier’s head so Mortis can kick the chair into Glacier’s head into the post.

Back inside now for Glacier vs. Mortis. Heenan says there’s something between these two in the past but Glacier doesn’t want to go into what it is. Wrath comes back in and they hit Beer Money’s DWI for two. ROH fans will like this as Wrath throws on a Billy Goat’s Curse and Mortis drops a leg at the same time.

Mortis misses a moonsault and Miller comes in illegally to help Glacier. Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) takes out both heels. Everything breaks down and Glacier gets a DDT to put Mortis down for a delayed too. James Vandenberg, the manager of Mortis/Wrath puts a chain on Mortis’ foot so a kick to the chest ends this for Glacier’s first loss.

Rating: B-. Better match than you would expect here and I liked it for the most part. Mortis is more commonly known as Kanyon and he can do some interesting stuff. Wrath was shockingly good here too and is a guy I’ve always liked a little so that’s a nice perk. Also, notice how much better it is with guys to compliment the martial arts guys. You get a much better match.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon

Jericho is champion. He’s a face and hasn’t been champion long. I think Dragon is also but I’m not sure. To the shock of no one they start on the mat. Neither guy can hit a kick so they lock up again. Dragon does his handstand in the corner and of course no one can touch him as he does that. There are the kicks from Dragon and he puts on a nerve hold but just for a few seconds.

Jericho counters Dragon’s offense into a double powerbomb and a senton backsplash gets two. The fans want Sting. Just another five months for that guys. Jericho works on the back before the speed things up a bit. Moonsault press gets two for the Canadian as does a tiger driver. I’m not sure what happened here but they both go up to the top and Jericho tries a dropkick which clearly misses by about 8 inches but Dragon drops to the floor anyway. The announcers say he missed it and that Dragon fell to avoid it but it looked like a botch.

Anyway Jericho hits a plancha and they go back in. A rana by Dragon out of the corner doesn’t work as he gets shoved to the floor. Jericho dives on him but gets caught by a dropkick in a cool looking shot. Snap suplex on the floor has Jericho in trouble, yet he was back in the ring first. Dragon gets him to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Back in the ring and both guys try La Magistral but can’t get the pin. They speed things way up into some pinfall reversal sequences but Jericho counters a Dragon Sleeper attempt and they both go outside. Back in again and Jericho hits a Lionsault to the back for two. Another Lionsault attempt is countered by a dropkick and Dragon tries both his finisher with no success. Muta style moonsault gets no cover for Dragon and Jericho counters a powerbomb counter into a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: C+. This was actually kind of a mess. Far more of a collection of spots than a coherent match with any form of a story or anything like that throughout it. It’s certainly good and the big spots were cool, but I’m not sure if they really had this planned out all that well. They just kind of missed here.

Gene comes to the ring to talk to Raven. He asks Raven about being DDP’s mystery partner so Raven recites a poem. Stevie Richards pops up and mentions an announcement Raven has tomorrow on Nitro, earning him a backhand slap from Raven. The announcement might have been the formation of the Flock but I’m not sure.

Steiner Brothers vs. Masahiro Chono/Great Muta

They’re NWO Japan and if the Steiners win they’re #1 contenders….again. WCW has this really annoying habit of having teams (usually the Steiners) win title shots “somewhere down the line” but they never actually got them. The Japanese dudes clear the ring rather quickly so the Steiners go up top and hit a pair of clotheslines to send the foreigners to the floor. Chono gets in an argument with some guy at ringside before we get this going.

Scott and Muta get us going. Scott pounds away and Muta is like boy please and kicks away. Steiner finally gets his butterfly powerbomb to take over and hits a gorilla press to send Muta outside again. Off to Chono and Rick, whose eyes look all freaky. Chono gets annoyed with the bug eyes and hits a SICK Mafia kick to put Rick down.

Test of strength results in a kick to Rick’s ribs and they switch off again. Scott likes to pound Muta on the back. Belly to belly superplex to Muta doesn’t work as Chono grabs an electric chair drop and Muta hits the handspring elbow to take over. Chono goes up and he winds up taking the aforementioned belly to belly to put both guys down.

Hot tag Rick who hits belly to bellies on both guys. Steiner bulldog gets two. Scott goes up as the illegal man and gets caught in a rana by Muta. Rick by in and gets caught in a leg whip by Muta but manages a suplex for two. Everything breaks down again and while Chono argues with the referee, a super DDT (Rick puts him on his shoulders so Scott can hit a DDT off the top) ends Muta.

Rating: D+. Match was another mess with no flow to it at all. The Steiners were so bored/boring by this point that it was unreal. They had beaten every team in existence and there was no one left to challenge them. Since the Outsiders were allergic to wrestling I suppose, this was just another waste of time and it was pretty clear the Steiners didn’t care at all.

Juventud Guerrera/Hector Garza/Lizmark Jr. vs. La Parka/Psicosis/Villano IV

Ready for some pointless lucha libre for the sake of only having lucha libre? Onoo is with Parka and Psicosis. This is under lucha libre rules, meaning if you go to the floor someone else on your team can come in sans tag. Lizmark and Psicosis start us off as Tenay tries to explain rudos vs. technicos. Juventud’s team is technico here. They do some speed stuff and then Villano and Garza come in because they feel like it.

Things speed up and after this point I’m really not going to try to keep track of what’s going on because the point of it is to go completely insane for awhile. Sonny tries to kick Juvy but he moves and the kick hits La Parka instead. The power of money keeps him from mauling Onoo. Psicosis misses a running dropkick and the rudo team has an argument.

Juvy hits a springboard triple splash for two and all three technicos hit stereo planchas as the referee literally ducks and covers in the corner. Juvy tries a springboard cross body but Psicosis gets something like a dropkick up to block it. They go to the corner and Psicosis gets something like a sunset bomb on steroids for two. They do some more insane stuff and Garza gets a moonsault press for two.

Everything breaks down again as some heels collide. We get the four man move called the Star that never got over in America. Basically they’re all on the mat and have leg locks on someone while two guys get in the middle and do a move. It’s WAY too contrived to look good at all. Five man Tower of Doom is broken up and everyone goes to the floor.

Lizmark is the last one out with a big dive to Villano. Air Juvy (love that move) and again I can’t keep up with this at all. Garza hits his HUGE corkscrew plancha to take out everyone else. Villiano V comes out and switches with his brother but gets caught by a missile dropkick and standing moonsault for the pin by Garza.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because from an American standpoint, it was an insane mess but from a lucha libre standpoint, I’d think it was rather good. It certainly was exciting and got the crowd going again, but at the same time this kind of stuff happened about once a PPV for WCW. This was one of the more fun ones though.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan gets some big sendoff by the announcers like he was some great guy or something.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

Jeff is champion here. They both pose with the belt to waste some time. It should be noted that Jarrett is about as popular as George Wells was. If you’re saying “who?” to that name, you’re getting the point. There’s a reason he would be back in the WWF in about three months. Jarrett takes him down to start and struts to waste some more time. He is from Tennessee after all.

He wastes too much time though and walks into a Bossman Slam. Mongo takes out the knee so Jeff heads to the floor a bit longer. For some reason Jeff accepts a test of strength with a big power wrestler. What could go wrong with this? It’s pretty clear Mongo has no idea how to actually pace a match or use psychology or anything like that at all but he’s not messing up every move anymore.

Out to the floor and Mongo goes into the steps. That doesn’t seem to hurt him and Jeff goes into the railing to further injure the knee. Mongo chokes him with a cord and we head back into the ring. Weak gorilla press is followed by a powerslam for two. Mongo misses a knee in the corner and now Jeff uses a football tackle on the knee. There’s a second one and Mongo is down. He sets for the Figure Four but Debra gets up on the apron, “accidentally” gives Jarrett the case and he hits Mongo with it….in the arm. He tries again and hits him in the head for the pin to retain. Debra leaves with Jeff.

Rating: D. The lack of psychology and anything remotely resembling it hurt this a lot. Mongo would get the title in a few weeks so it’s not like this mattered that much. Jarrett and Debra would go back to the WWF soon enough so we didn’t have to put up with this feud much longer. Jarrett got better with age but at this point he wasn’t nearly as good as he’s known as today.

Hogan and Rodman say nothing of note.

Scott Hall/Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page/???

Hall is a tag champion but is teaming with Savage here because Nash is busy at a taco festival I suppose. The partner is likely either Raven, Hennig or Sting. It’s pretty clearly not going to be Sting because it would be too big of a waste for his return. Raven….probably not due to it being kind of a big jump up for him in the card. Hennig was more or less the default pick and it turns out he is in fact the partner. This is his WCW debut in the ring, because he popped up on Nitro for no apparent reason other than to make sure this wasn’t an actual shocking debut at the PPV.

Page vs. Savage starts us off which is one that’s hard to screw up based on how obsessive they were about setting up matches beforehand. Page sends him to the floor and Savage stalls some more. There’s a bunch of stuff in the ring for some reason and Savage doesn’t want to fight. Not sure what it is but the referee keeps wiping it off the mat. Off to Hall vs. Hennig now and they look at each other a lot. They go to the corner and Hennig actually gives a clean break.

Both combinations seem more interested in seeing how long they can go without actually getting into a full on match. Curt hits an atomic drop and Hall does his hop selling. Back to Page so he can hammer on Scott a bit. Page gets beaten down and it’s the NWO in control. Since it’s a match between 1996 and 1999, Page has bad ribs. Out to the floor and the beating continues. Hall gets a discus punch for two.

Back off to Savage as Page gets a right hand in. Page kind of falls down and it’s ice cold tag to Hennig. Granted the match is like seven minutes old at this point so it’s not like he was in peril long. And since this is in 1997, Hennig of course turns on Page and leaves him to the wolves known as Hall and Savage. The beating goes on for awhile and the big elbow ends it. Hennig wouldn’t officially join the NWO for a few weeks after pretending to join the Horsemen.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here as the whole thing was about going from debut to the turn (if you can actually be one way or the other after five minutes) in under ten minutes, which is pretty wasteful but they’re trying at least. Hennig would join the Horsemen soon enough and then the NWO because that’s what everyone did, minute the Horsemen part I guess.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Because the fans were BEGGING for it! WCW really doesn’t help themselves with the lack of recaps. I have no idea why most of these matches are happening and it’s totally random as to whether or not you get a recap of it. Even a quick sentence can sum up a lot of stuff. To the shock of no one, this is more of a brawl than a match. Piper beats the tar out of him to start and sends him to the floor.

Back in and Piper chops away in the corner and Flair is looking like a clueless putz. No idea if Flair is face or heel here. Piper hammers away in the corner and there’s a Flair Flip in the corner. Flair eats post and Piper chops away some more. I don’t think he’s done anything but punch or chop. Back in again and Flair gets a shot to the knee to take over. Figure Four goes on and Piper reverses it.

Roddy actually gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Wouldn’t have expected that one. Low blow takes the Canadiscot down and it’s back to the knee. That doesn’t work either so Piper fires off punches and kicks Flair’s leg. Out to the floor again which doesn’t last long. Back in Flair gets a jawbreaker to quickly break up a sleeper.

After a bunch of two counts Flair goes up and you know how that goes. Figure Four goes onto Flair and is broken rather quickly. Illegal object from Flair is stolen by Piper and Flair goes out. Here are the Horsemen and Piper of course outsmarts them until Mongo of all people is able to piledrive him. That only gets two and Piper Hulks Up. Sleeper ends this which is supposed to be some big deal, even though WE HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING.

Rating: C+. Well I can’t really say it sucked, but is there any real point in having these guys fight? It’s not a bad match and is actually kind of good, but the time hurt it as this got nearly 15 minutes and with Piper only being able to chop and punch, how good can it really get? Also, no Malenko, Guerrero or Mysterio on here, but they get 15 minutes. And people wonder why this company went out of business.

Dennis Rodman/Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

I get that Rodman was a legit big draw and at the time he was an A-list celebrity so it’s not as stupid as it sounds like now, but what does this accomplish from a storyline perspective? Oh that’s right: it keeps Hogan from having to defend the title so he can hold it even longer. Buffer says tens of millions of people are watching this around the world. Savage is out with the heels here.

Luger and Hogan start and I’d expect Hogan to wrestle more in this match than he has in the past five weeks combined. They go to the mat and it’s just ugly. We put the camera on Andrew Galotta (boxer) and Rodman’s agent for awhile. Not much contact so far as Hogan is stalling a lot, mainly because were twenty five minutes left in the show when the bell rang.

The first major contact is a shoulder block by Hogan about three minutes in. Luger hits one as well and by hits I mean you can see a good three inches between their arms. Hogan hammers him down and it’s his usual heel stuff. He asks the fans if they want Rodman to come in and it’s pretty clear Rodman is the most popular guy in the building. Hogan goes over and makes the tag and it’s time for the announcers to overhype everything like never before.

Rodman is in sunglasses here. He stalls like Larry Zbyszko dreams of and they lock up. Rodman gets an armdrag and the reaction from the announcers (the WCW ones mind you, as in the ones that HATE the NWO) makes the one when Sting won the title later in the year pale in comparison. I mean they lose their minds because Rodman hit an armdrag. Luger armdrags both guys twice and the overreaction is just stupid. Have these guys never seen a Ricky Steamboat match? This is proving why the match is stupid, right here.

A leapfrog and a shoulder block by Rodman (meaning a basketball player is capable of jumping and leaning his arm forward) are hailed as “flashes of brilliance” by Tony. The guys on Tough Enough have flashes of brilliance in their second episode then. A single clothesline sends Rodman looking for a nurse and it’s off to Giant vs. Hogan. They proceed to do a basic Nitro match for a few minutes as no one cares with no Rodman in there.

Rodman offers to come in and fight the Giant and plays face because he doesn’t know any better. He tries more leapfrogs and then we realize that it’s stupid to try to jump over a guy called THE GIANT. Heenan loses his mind because his apparently new sexual object of desire known as Rodman is in trouble. If you were new to this product and heard the commentators, you would swear Hogan and Rodman were the good guys.

Hogan and Rodman get a double clothesline to Giant and Rodman breaks up Hogan’s pin attempt for some reason. Hot (and unseen) tag brings in Luger but Hogan takes him down pretty easily. Savage interferes and this is rapidly getting boring. There’s the legdrop for two and ZERO reaction from the crowd and announcers. This is the Hulk Hogan legdrop and it got no reaction. Maybe Hogan should try a leapfrog. Actually that would get a reaction.

Back off to Rodman as this slows down even more. There’s the foot choke in the corner which gets a bigger reaction than the Hogan legdrop. Another unseen tag brings in Giant but this one doesn’t count for some reason. Giant comes in anyway and here’s Not Sting. He hits Giant with the bat and everyone thinks he’s NWO. Pay no attention to the fact that he’s maybe an inch shorter than Giant and comes in over the top rope. Hogan accidentally hits Rodman and the Rack ends Hogan finally.

Rating: F+. Totally awful main event but the announcers overreacting is pretty funny stuff. In short, Rodman isn’t a wrestler so he’s not really at fault here. I mean, would you turn down probably a minimum of six figures for twenty minutes of “work”? He just took a check and did his thing out there to a huge reaction. That being said, this proves nothing and the whole thing was just a mess because we had to protect Rodman (again not his fault).

Luger Racks Rodman and Savage post match.

Overall Rating: D. This was a hard one to grade. It’s certainly a low level show and that needs to be kept in mind. This show wasn’t about having a good show but rather having a big buyrate due to Rodman. It’s definitely not the worst show ever but it shows a lot of what’s coming for WCW and how things would start falling apart. They clearly weren’t trying that much here and they wouldn’t do much next month either because it was in front of a bunch of drunk bikers. Bad show, but for different reasons than usual.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

As some of you may know, Dave Meltzer has a habit of complaining about WWE lying about its PPV attendances. What I want to know is why is this such a big deal? Wrestling is based on lies, so why is lying about PPV attendances any different?

Extreme Rules 2009
Date: June 7, 2009
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 9,124
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews

Kind of just a filler show here as I felt like doing a modern one rather than more of the same stuff that I’d been doing. This is a year and two days old so it’s still relatively recent. This is one of those cards where everything is a gimmick match which is fine. The main event is Hardy vs. Edge in a ladder match so that should be fine. We also get Batista vs. Orton in a cage. I can live with that I guess. The card looks ok so let’s get to it.

The opening video is of all the guys and talking about how extreme this is. It’s a fairly weak video but it gets the point over, or at least I guess it does.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

Show says instead of asking him for his strategy, you should ask Cena for his strategy.

We recap Jericho trying to rip Rey’s mask off on Smackdown. Him dressing as a Rey fan was really smart actually.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This was one of the matches that brought credibility back to the belt. Rey is defending here. Jericho’s voice says he’s not there but up here, which is at the merchandise stand. He says Mysterio is encouraging deception by having WWE sell the masks. He does the walking to the ring through the crowd promo which is always awesome. This was when Jericho was still just completely amazing with this gimmick and even I was loving him.

Jericho wants Rey’s mask. These two tore the world apart with great matches so this should be great. Both guys know about 100 styles and can mix them up really well so I’m looking forward to this. Actually I’m not as it’s started so I’m looking at it but with a happy grin I guess. Oh and this is no holds barred for the gimmick. We start on the floor with Rey throwing pieces of a table at Jericho. They’re going at a fast pace here which is very clearly working for them.

This is one of those matches that is hard to make jokes about because you know it’s going to be good. Rey hits a nice plancha from the top to the floor. JR says Rey is being aggressive. That’s true I suppose. Actually yeah it is true. It’s strange to see Jericho being the bigger guy. We get some decent talking about the customs and traditions associated with the mask in Lucha Libre, which is very interesting stuff when someone like Tenay talks about it.

When Grisham talks about it he sounds like someone giving a high school presentation. Rey takes a Gordbuster on the floor. Dang that would have hurt. Jericho goes for the mask and you get a perfectly clean shot of Rey’s face. Ah never mind. I didn’t realize I had flipped over to a WCW show where he didn’t have it on for a long time. You get a good face shot here too but this one was less intentional I think. A really good suicide dive takes Jericho out as this has been high impact and back and forth.

What more can you ask for? The fans are appreciative of this too which always makes me smile. Jericho gets a spinning rack thing for a long two. Lionsault of course misses and Rey gets the 619. He jumps into a Codebreaker though and we’re about at even. The looks Jericho does are great. Jericho has a chair. Maybe he wants to give Rey a lap dance. Oh I forgot this was no holds barred. That explains the lack of a DQ for the chair use from both guys.

Rey sets up the chair and gets a running start but is caught in the Walls. Somehow he gets the chair and drills Jericho. Nice shot too. Rey goes for the 619 but Jericho manages to pull the mask off. Since Rey is desperately covering his face, the rollup by Jericho ends it.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with them going back and forth with all kinds of stuff. The chair played a very limited role which makes the stipulation fairly pointless, but still this match worked so well that I can’t complain. It’s not like it didn’t get used at all so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. This match was great though as it turns out that when you put two guys in the ring and let them just go, things turn out well.

Ad for the Randy Savage DVD.

Josh Matthews is with Batista. We see a video from Monday where Orton and Legacy beat up Flair in a “fight” and punted him. Big Dave says Orton won’t be able to do that to him tonight. This is supposed to be big and dramatic and it just isn’t at all.

CM Punk vs. Umaga

This was a fairly weak mini feud that saw Umaga just destroy Punk at every time. Punk has MITB here and has been trying to cash it in for awhile but Umaga keeps stopping him. Oh and this is a Samoan Strap Match. Why do I not picture a lot of straps in Samoa? They’ll be tied at the wrist here and I think you win by pinfall or submission. There was never any real justification for Umaga to beat the heck out of Punk like he did but whatever.

I guess you could go with he’s a savage. I guess this is the four corner style. Blast it. There is however a helpful graphic in the corner saying how many you have in a row with Punk in green and Umaga in red. Still though I’ve never gotten a clear definition of what in succession means. I know what succession means but often times they just seemingly go with what fits best for the rules at the time. Umaga works on Punk’s arm as this match is just kind of odd.

Not sure why it is but it comes off as most odd to me. With Punk on the floor Umaga gets two buckles but instead of getting the third he goes for Punk. I didn’t know Samoans were such idiots. Aww Punk went for the GTS. That’s so cute. Grisham says Punk was undaunted. What does it mean to be daunted?

I’ve never heard of anyone being daunted but just undaunted. Fans are very behind Punk. Punk gets three but charges at Umaga instead and gets drilled. Well he deserves it for being stupid. Umaga gets three but Punk gets him to charge at him like a bull and Umaga goes to the floor. This is getting fairly repetitive.

Umaga gets pulled off the top and crashes to the mat. Punk gets three and with Umaga pulling away from him, for no explained reason at all, Umaga charges at him and gets caught in GTS so Punk can win. Ending was just stupid looking on Umaga’s part.

Rating: D. These matches were never very good and this is no exception. Also, there were far too many stupid moments here, mainly the ending. I love Punk, but this was just an incredibly pointless feud and thankfully this is the last one between them. Keep an eye on Punk though. He’s going places.

Gregory Helms is with Christian and he says that Dreamer and Swagger will lose tonight. Dreamer says Christian will lose. Swagger comes up and says they’ll both lose. Ok then.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger

If Dreamer loses he’s gone. This is a hardcore match so it’s pinfalls count anywhere. Who would believe Swagger would be the most successful guy a year later? So Dreamer is on a one day contract since they mistimed the whole contract thing in storyline terms. Swagger is the guy Christian beat to get the title.

We even get big match intros. Dreamer is wearing something close to silver pants. Hey, did you know that the champion is at a disadvantage here? I didn’t know if telling you that twice in 40 seconds would be enough indication. Striker says Dreamer has a Singapore Stick. Let the ECW fans freak. White Russian Leg Sweep to Swagger. Dreamer hits a front flip with a trash can behind him so that hits their faces. This is kind of sad considering what ECW was originally about.

Dreamer sets for the baseball slide but Christian stops him and does it himself. In other words, the blonde haired WWE product did the ECW original’s thing to another WWE guy. That sums up so many things so easily. The people want tables. Yeah I’m stunned too. Swagger no sells some kendo shots and hits a belly to belly on Dreamer.

We’re going with the various one on one matches here which is about as expected. Crowd is DEAD other than for the big spots. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Dreamer nails him with a crutch twice and hits a DDT to get the ECW Title. More on that in a bit.

Rating: D. This is your traditional “hardcore” match which means let’s hit each other with trash cans and hope the people care. This just felt completely lifeless to me and I just wanted to see it end, which isn’t something that I have issue with that often. There are far worse matches, but this just had nothing at all to it. Even Dreamer’s win, while a big moment for old school ECW fans feels flat. Let’s look at this for a minute. Imagine Christian or Swagger in the original ECW.

They come off as two guys that would get booed out of the building for some reason. Look at the size of the belt. It’s freaking huge and looks like a bad toy. Dreamer has a massive celebration and you can tell that he’s loving it and that it’s a huge deal, but you can see ECW’s already dead body just rotting away here and even me, someone that didn’t get into ECW until the last year or so when it was a shell of itself, can tell this isn’t meaning anything at all.

Look at the next segment: Vickie preparing to defend the title of Miss Wrestlemania against a guy in drag in a hog pen match. The soul of ECW is dead, and to top it off Dreamer would lose the belt in Philadelphia to Christian two PPVs later. It actually makes me sad.

So anyway, Vickie is training for her hog pen match while Chavo makes pig noises and is wearing a pig nose. Let’s get this over with.

Miss Wrestlemania: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Please, make this go quick. Seriously, this is the dumbest thing of the year and it needs to end. Lawler is the host for this or something. You have to get the pin in the pen, which has hogs in it. Please just get this going as they talk forever first. Chavo is her partner and it’s 2-1. She throws mud at Chavo who is in street clothes and he beats her up.

So they’re in a mud pen and have to be thrown into the other one and then pinned. Oh wait they can come back out of the one with the pigs and get pinned in the bigger one. Vickie comes in and Chavo accidentally slops her….shoulder. Santina pins her and this is thankfully over. Vickie and Chavo fight in the mud as Cole and Lawler are laughing, likely by Vince’s orders. Santina celebrates forever as this segment has gone on longer than all but one match so far.

Rating: N/A. Give me a match and I’ll rate it.

Ad for Summerslam, which was a good show if I remember correctly. After checking the review for it which can easily be accessed by using the Table of Contents thread on the top of the Old School Reviews section, I was right as I gave it an A-.

We recap Batista vs. Orton, which was of course about Flair. I was there for the announcement of the cage match on a Raw that completely sucked. Flair was really annoying at this point as even Orton asked him if he was retired or not. Flair got punted and I think never came back.

Goldust and Horny make fun of Vickie and Chavo. Edge is sitting in Vickie’s office and Edge makes fun of her. They’re still married but they’re arguing here. Edge says they’re getting a divorce.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista

This is a cage match. Orton has been really evil lately and Batista is mad at him for kicking Flair, even though a lot of people are glad about it. Batista gets a very solid face pop. Orton is dangling from the top of the cage less than 30 seconds in. Well at least they’re not wasting time. Basically Orton is running for his life here but Batista keeps catching him.

In less than three minutes, Orton has almost been out three times. I sense a theme. Four times in three and a half minutes. Well at least he’s consistent. It amazes me how evil he can be at this point and how over he is a year later. Orton throws him into the cage and everyone is tired like 5 minutes into this. I get that the cage is deadly but come on now people. Punt misses and Orton runs again.

Batista Bomb and RKO are countered but the Bomb hits and gets three in SEVEN FREAKING MINUTES??? Yes, this match is over in just barely over seven minutes. WHAT THE HECK? Well it would turn out that Batista had a torn bicep and he would vacate the belt on Tuesday. The following Monday Orton would win it back in a match on Raw, making this title change, say it with me, TOTALLY POINTLESS!

Rating: F+. Seriously, I’ve seen longer cage matches at house shows. I get that the match was booked and had to be all short and stuff, but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. This was just bad all around, mainly due to it being way too short and like half of it being Orton trying to run. You could tell something was up here though so I guess it makes sense.

We recap Big Show vs. Cena. In essence, it’s just that Show is too big to get the STF on so we’re having a submission match so that Cena can look great in winning.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Ok so there’s an hour left in the show and we have two matches left. That’s not a good sign. We get a quick ad for the Bash which is a really good show if I remember correctly. Cena’s arms are freaking scary looking here. Cena goes for the leg which makes sense but it only works twice. Show’s finisher is the Colossal Clutch which is the reverse chinlock that looks like it would hurt bad.

Does Cole have Show’s shoe size tattooed into his memory or something? He mentions it in every match Show is in it feels like. In a nice looking spot, Cena goes for a bulldog and Show just pushes him out of the ring. That looked awesome. The flying shoulder doesn’t work at all which is a great visual.

This match is pretty boring. The audio on the commentary goes way down in volume which is always fun. Show goes for a full nelson. Who is nelson that he gets like three moves named after him? This is going SO slow and it’s rather annoying. Cena gets a sleeper which is smart. At least he’s thinking.

It’s actually more like a choke but whatever. It amazes me that a guy can manage to be strangled for about 45 seconds by a guy that is ridiculously strong and still be, you know, alive. Show hits the Alley-Oop which is just awesome every time I see it. Again, this is a rather boring match. Now Show is working on the back and ribs. Could this match be any more paint by numbers? This match is just crawling by with nothing of interest at all going on.

Show pulls on Cena’s neck which works on his back somehow but never actually goes for a hold. Crowd isn’t dead but they’re rather sick. Vader Bomb misses. Cena can’t slam him. I want this to end. Is Show hugging him? It’s not a bad hold I guess but it’s boring. Cena is on the floor and nothing of note is happening.

It’s just them plodding around filling time. Maybe if they gave the opener more than 6 minutes this could have been shorter and therefore watchable. We’ve probably spent 5 minutes just standing around with Show looking down at Cena. Oh look it’s an abdominal stretch. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT and AGAIN he can’t hook the STFU. Cole says Cena is showing signs of life. I guess that means besides the whole walking, breathing, moving and looking around.

Hey, let’s have a bearhug now since that’s oh so riveting. Cena hits the FU but can’t get the STFU. The Knockout Punch hits. Can we watch a Knockouts match instead? Cena hits the top rope Fameasser and we get to the really stupid ending as Cena ties Show’s leg in the rope and hooks the STFU that was.

The problem is Show’s leg COMES UNDONE so it’s just a crossface. And there’s the tap, thank goodness. Cole saying Cena has done another miracle sums things up pretty well I’d say. You know, because I just said it.

Rating: F+. Oh sweet goodness this was bad. I have never been so bored in a match, and somehow that’s not an exaggeration. This was just painfully boring as NOTHING happens for about half of this match which went like twenty minutes. Just terribly boring and while the ending was creative, the botch made things just look awful.

Edge and Hardy get the big long video. This felt like a big match and with Edge saying something like Hardy makes highlight reels but Edge wins world titles, I was excited for this one.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

There must be 15 ladders around the ring and the aisle. Of course Roberts tells us that this is a ladder match since we never could have figured that one out on our own. Edge is champion here. Hardy really was a big deal back then. Wow a year ago is now considered back then. That’s odd to hear. Seriously, how weird is it to see Jeff Hardy vs. Edge in the main event of a pay per view?

This crowd has been DEAD all night and it’s rather annoying me. Why is a running shoulder in the corner different than a spear? And to anyone thinking “because it’s in a corner”, shut up. Jeff goes for a small ladder but it goes into his ribs.

Ross reminds us that the ladders aren’t going to give, even though these two were the first people to break one of them at MITB earlier in this year I believe. Or was that a year before? Does it matter? It was more than a week ago so it’s fair game as far as erasing it goes. Ok so it’s a spear when there’s a ladder between Hardy and the corner but not when there’s no ladder? Sure why not.

Edge smashes Jeff’s leg in between a ladder and then hooks a Sharpshooter while Hardy is lying on the ladder. Hardy actually taps which is surprising if nothing else. I love the spots where the ladder is knocked out from under someone. Those are always awesome looking. In a NICE spot, Edge takes a gordbuster onto an inverted ladder on the parts that spread out to brace the ladder. FREAKING OW!

It’s big ladder time now and Jeff gets on top of it and tries to lean it over so it’ll fall and he’ll be able to grab the belt. Well that’s original at least I guess. It never ceases to amaze me when people pull out new spots with the ladders like Kofi and the stilts at Mania this year. It works to an extent but Edge makes the save.

Ross says he jerks him down which is a better description than when he said Lita jerked Edge off at Mania X7. Jeff lands on his leg so that’s hurt now. And of course he hits Whisper in the Wind off the ladder just after that. We’re on the floor now with a ladder set up between the railing and the ring like a bridge if you know what I mean. Jeff gets launched into the front row. Ross says he went sailing. There’s a funny skit with Hardy as a sailor in there somewhere.

Edge is set on the ladder that was a bridge and Hardy climbs up another one. Edge gets up and climbs Hardy’s ladder and yep they both go through the ladder “that won’t give a bit”. As in the ladder is broken and bent and stuff. And there goes the referee once we’re back in the ring. Ah there’s another one. That’s better.

Jeff climbs the big one in the middle of the ring and Edge climbs one in the corner. Edge goes for the big spear like at Mania X7 but Hardy catches him in a Diamond Cutter (called a Twist of Fate but I can live with that one). They’re both on the big ladder and fight it out up there but Hardy drops down and in a brilliant spot pulls Edge down THROUGH the rungs of the ladder so that his arms are the only things stopping him from going down to the mat. That’s enough for Hardy to win it.

Rating: B+. Very solid main event here with the two masters of the ladder match doing what they do best and making it seem like a big deal. Not sure what but it was missing something from making it a classic, but it’s still great. These two have insane chemistry together and this is no exception. Great match and nearly a great way to close the show. I say nearly because the show isn’t quite over yet.

JR goes into the ring to talk to Hardy…..AND CUE PUNK’S MUSIC! It’s time for an MITB CASH IN!

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy can’t even stand up and there’s the GTS for 2. Punk’s heat is molten here as no one likes this other than me. I fell asleep during the ladder match when this aired and woke up to hear Hardy win. I closed my eyes again and heard Punk’s music. I FREAKED. A second GTS gives Punk the title.

I won’t bother with a rating obviously, but the first thirty seconds here were obviously harkening back to Gotch vs. Hackenschmidt but over the next fifteen seconds they really let things go as it turned very sloppy. The last 15 seconds saved it though as they were clearly channeling Steamboat and Flair other than about 2 seconds in the middle there. Punk’s current heel persona would kind of debut next month.

Overall Rating: D+. While there are two great matches on here, after that it just has nothing. And when I say nothing I mean NOTHING. The problem is that there’s a difference between being just a waste of time and being a bad waste of time. This would be the latter. Other than the IC and ladder matches, there is NOTHING here.

The problem with the IC match is the rematch next month is even better, so there is absolutely no reason to see this show. Punk’s first cash in was far better too, so there is just nothing of note here. The ladder match is good, but it certainly doesn’t save the show. Not recommended at all, but the IC match and ladder match are worth seeing if you’re bored.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: February 9, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Michael St. John

This is the last USWA show that I have at the moment but hopefully that’ll change in the near future. These shows have been really entertaining and there are some people coming in that I’d really like to see. Lawler and Jarrett won the tag titles on Monday over the Fabulous Ones so I’m sure we’ll talk about that a lot today. Let’s get to it.

Eric Embry is here today as is Eddie Gilbert. I haven’t seen them in awhile.

Tom Pritchard vs. Jerry Lynn

Jamie Dundee is refereeing and he pulls Pritchard’s arm to prevent him from throwing a punch. Pritchard is a doctor because he’s a psychologist in the ring. It’s about time they explained that name. Pritchard controls to start with some very basic stuff, getting two off a suplex. Sunset flip and small package get two each for Lynn. The referee gets knocked down but wakes up quickly enough to count a pin by Pritchard while his feet are on the ropes. I smell shenanigans. Too short to rate but this was fine.

We see the tag title match from Monday which was a total brawl. Cornette had powder but Fargo knocked it back into his face. Lane was going to hit him with the racket but Keirn made the save, allowing Jarrett to hit a dropkick for the titles. Post match Eddie Gilbert returned and beat down the new champions to try to collect the bounty. Lawler got up and beat up Gilbert. They went into the crowd and Gilbert threw a fireball at Lawler.

We get a clip from the dressing room with Lawler being interviewed about Gilbert. Lawler says that Eddie Gilbert and the Fabulous Ones were in it together all along and split Funk’s bounty money. There’s nothing Gilbert can do to get rid of Lawler no matter how much he tries. Eddie shows up but a suit says if Gilbert doesn’t leave he’ll be arrested. Gilbert yells into the camera that no one knows where he’s been and this is his town now.

Eric Embry vs. Cody Michaels

I thought we got rid of Embry. Embry takes him to the mat with ease but gets backdropped. They go to the mat and Eric punches him into the corner. They collide and Eric drops a headbutt for a pin even though Michaels was in the ropes. Dundee was the referee again.

Here’s Jerry in a suit and tie. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. He talks about going to someone’s house that you don’t know that well and they have a small dog. The dog might nip at your heels when your back is to them but when you look at them, they run and hide. The fire only burned his shoulder apparently. Here’s Gilbert and it’s on. They turn over the desk and Lawler loses his suit jacket. The locker room empties out to tear them apart.

Mid-South ad. Jeff Jarrett is defending against a guy whose name I won’t say because he’ll be here later in the show.

Actually that challenger is here now. He’s been named Rookie of the Year by PWI and says that things are going well for him and his girl. Here’s his match.

Danny Davis vs. Steve Austin

His girl is named Jeannie, who is more famous as Lady Blossom, whose chest is probably bigger than Trish Stratus’. Jamie Dundee is refereeing again and doesn’t see a quick sunset flip by Davis. Austin works the arm and pulls Davis’ hair but denies it to the referee. Davis backslides him but Jamie is over with Jeannie again. Into the ropes and Austin hits the Stun Gun (not named yet) but Davis has his feet on the ropes.

It’s so weird seeing Austin with shoulder length blonde hair and flower shorts. Small package has the same result for Davis as the other two. Austin charges into the post and Davis hits the neckbreaker, but Dundee turns away to talk to Jeannie. Eddie Marlon, the boss, comes out and stops the match with no winner declared.

Rating: C. This was way more about the angle with Dundee than the match, but it’s always cool to see a future legend out here when he’s first starting out. Austin had the fire in him and was ok in the ring, but he was far from the awesome level that he would become. It’s amazing to think that in four months he would be WCW TV Champion. They had some good scouts in that company.

Marlon and Dundee argue a lot and Dundee says that Max Andrews, I think the owner of the place, hired him so Marlon can’t fire him. No he can’t, but he can take him off the job. Bill Dundee (Jamie’s dad) comes out and says that Jamie is going to quit rather than be fired. Bill yells at him and Jamie says he’s not quitting. Jamie says that he doesn’t live with his dad anymore so it’s not his rules. That’s why Jamie’s mom left too: Bill had to have it his way. Bill pulls the belt off Eddie and whips his son with it. That’s awesome.

Here’s Gilbert for an interview where he says that he doesn’t care about what anyone says: he wants Lawler to look him in the eye and get out of his way so that he can have his time in the spotlight. Here’s Lawler and they’re at it again. It’s broken up just as quick.

New Kids/Bill Dundee vs. Uptown Connection

That’s the Lee/Doug Gilbert/White Boy team’s name now. Eddie Marlon is refereeing because Dundee got fired. Tom Pritchard comes out to ask when he gets an interview and is mad when he finds out he’s not on the schedule. The New Kids dropkick down everyone so White Boy brings in a chair. He drops it on the floor as the announcers try to throw Pritchard out.

Christopher and Gilbert start but it’s quickly off to Anthony and then back to Lee. Lee drops Christopher across the top rope and it’s off to Gilbert. More pounding follows and it’s White Boy in. He gets rolled up for two and it’s back to Lee. The Uptown guys tag in and out very fast, which is a recurring idea in the USWA. Everything breaks down and Marlon goes down, so the locker room all comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. The match was nothing of note here and the referee didn’t mean a thing until the very end. The post match stuff which we’ll get to in a moment was a lot more interesting, which is the usual case in this company. The Uptown Connection just wasn’t that interesting, but they served well as the heel team.

Bruno chokes Marlon while Jamie comes out and whips his dad with a belt. The US Males and some other guys come in for the save.

Mid-South stuff.

We get a clip from Monday with Chris Walker (who has a small chance at being Renegade from WCW. His last name was Walker and they look almost identical) vs. Pritchard. Walker was throwing him around when Gilbert and Anthony came in for the DQ, only to be saved by US Male.

The US Males come out and say exactly what you would expect them to say about Gilbert and Anthony.

Jarrett comes up and talks about his upcoming title match with Austin. He’s still REALLY bad at talking. Here he seems to advocate domestic violence against Jeannie, who used to be married to Chris Adams. Cue Jeannie who says Jeff wouldn’t know a lady if one was standing in front of him. She slaps Jeff so Jeff takes his jacket off and grabs her wrist as she tries another slap. Cue Austin for the required brawl. They go into the ring and Austin clotheslines him down but Jeff punches him to the floor.

Sgt. O’Reilly/Keith Eric/Eli The Eliminator vs. US Males/Jeff Jarrett

Marlon is refereeing again. Walker vs. Eric to start us off but it’s quickly off to the other Male. Jarrett in now as the quick tagging continues here. Eli comes in and pounds on Jeff, including one of the weakest slams I can remember in a long time. Legdrop gets two. Sarge comes in and just like every other time he’s been in the ring, things go badly for him. Back to Thompson (the other Male whose name I couldn’t remember earlier) who gets two as Eric has to make the save. Jarrett works the arm and it’s back to Walker again. Things break down and it finally ends with a top rope Jarrett cross body to Sarge.

Rating: D. This was really boring as it was in essence a squash. It only ran four and a half minutes but it felt about three times that, which is never a good sign. Jeff had it in the ring but he really didn’t click in full for a few more years. Granted being Simply Irresistible didn’t help him that much.

The announcers wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D+. I really didn’t like this show that well. That being said, there was a huge angle going here with Gilbert vs. Lawler and the Austin match is exciting, but it just wasn’t that interesting overall. The six man tags were pretty boring but maybe it’s because you see the same guys every week. In essence, the big stuff is good but the lower stuff is weak.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

And follow me on Twitter @kbreviews