Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2000
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 13,253
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is another request that I don’t remember the reason behind. This is right around the Rumble so I’d bet on there being a lot of hype for the show. We’re in a good time for the company as 2000 is probably the best year the company has ever had, which is saying a lot as they had some solid years around this point. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

The opening video is from Raw with Rock demanding that HHH and Stephanie reinstate Mick Foley before the entire roster walks out. Rock also demanded an eight man tag with DX vs. the Acolytes and Rock N Sock Connection. DX walked out on HHH for some reason and Foley got Pedigreed through the table and in the ring for the pin. Mankind came back and beat HHH up anyway.

Cue HHH and Stephanie to open the show. Stephanie says she wants to clear something up: no Superstars are leaving this company because the two of them have righted the wrongs. Why would anyone ever want to leave? Their doors are always open and they’re always fair. Stephanie says she’s the ONLY McMahon running things in this company.

HHH says that he needs to get something off his chest. He needs to apologize, but it’s not to the fans or to the guys that were going to walk out on Monday. HHH is their world champion and it’s for the fans. He will however apologize to DX. HHH talks about trying to show DX tough love and getting tough love in exchange when they walked out on him.

He wants to right the wrongs tonight, so it’s the Outlaws vs. Bradshaw in a No DQ handicap match. If Farrooq interferes, the Acolytes lose their title shot at the Rumble. The Outlaws get to have the same match with Farrooq too. As for X-Pac, tonight he’s teaming up with HHH to face Big Show and The Rock. As for Mick Foley, on Monday he was left in a puddle of blood. That’s just a taste of what’s coming at the Rumble in New York City. HHH has nothing to do right now, so get out here Foley.

Here’s Foley but it’s a fake. The fake one kneels before HHH and begs for mercy until the real Mankind comes out. He talks about how HHH has tried to take away his job and his dignity, but then on Monday he took away the best night of his career. HHH bloodied him and ruined his shirt. On Monday as the cool water of the shower hit him, he realized that Mankind may be entertaining and a good author, he’s not ready to face HHH in a street fight at the Royal Rumble.

However, the fans deserve a replacement, and that replacement is here tonight. Foley takes off the mask and rips open his shirt, revealing the Cactus Jack WANTED DEAD shirt. Cactus says that his first official act as a part of the WWF is kicking HHH’s teeth all over Chicago. He pounds HHH down in the corner (in what I believe Foley called the best punches he ever threw) and shrugs off a chair shot from the Fake Foley. HHH bails as the other one gets beaten up. Cactus says he’ll bleed at the Rumble but he’s going to beat HHH all over New York City and take the WWF Title from him. AWESOME segment here.

New Age Outlaws vs. Bradshaw

Road Dogg runs down the fans for not getting the catchphrase right. Bradshaw throws powder at the Outlaws who amazingly don’t snort it. Billy gets thrown into the steps and Billy is clotheslined to the floor. Bradshaw puts the steps in the ring and sets up a piledriver to Billy on said steps but Road Dogg saves with a chair shot. The double beating goes on until Bradshaw fights back in vain. Bradshaw kicks the chair into Roadie’s face but as he goes to slam Billy, Road Dogg chairs him in the head with Billy falling on top for the pin.

Here’s Rock in the back who welcomes this new guy named Jonathan Coachman to the WWF. Coach says he’s called Coach which Rock doesn’t like. Rock says it doesn’t matter if he’s teaming with Big Show or Big Bird, he’ll win. It doesn’t matter how Coach got the name Coach and that’s about it.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly/Al Snow

This was during Snow’s questionable heel turn phase. Hardcore and Grandmaster start us off and Holly is taken over by a hip toss. Off to Crash who gets the same treatment. Scotty comes in and things speed up. A kind of pumphandle slam puts Crash down and it’s Worm time. Snow pulls Scotty to the floor and Hardcore takes over on him. The former racecar dude jumps into a boot and it’s hot tag Rikishi. A one man 3D kills Crash but Hardcore dropkicks him down. Snow gets crotched on the post as the Rikishi Driver ends Crash.

Rating: D+. Not much here but the fans popped big for Rikishi and his dancing pals. For the life of me I don’t get the point of making him a heel. I mean…..why would anyone do that? The match was nothing of note but it filled in about five minutes which is the right idea I guess. Nothing much to see here though.

Snow beats up the Hollies with Head. Too Cool and Rikishi dance.

HHH congratulates the Outlaws but they don’t know where X-Pac is.

Clip of Cactus Jack in Japan being all psycho. Good thing they had this ready just in case he transformed isn’t it?

Test vs. Gangrel

Test has a broken nose or something like that coming in here. He starts off fast but walks into a belly to belly. Test gets sent to the floor where Luna attacks. Back in and Gangrel gets crushed by the gutwrench powerbomb but Luna distracts referee Teddy Long. There’s the full nelson slam but Luna pulls the referee to the floor and decks him. She jumps on Test and gets spanked for her efforts. The match is thrown out and that’s probably a good thing.

Test beats up both of them post match.

Jericho and Chyna are in the back and try to make up after losing in a tag match on Monday.

Hardy Boys vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert

This is before Lita joined the team so it’s Terri with them here. Albert is currently known as Tensai. He and Jeff get us going with Jeff having to evade a lot. Off to Matt for some successful double teaming on the current Japanese enthusiast. Albert gets Matt up for a spinning rack neckbreaker and it’s off to Bossman. He beats Matt down even more and kidnaps Terri which goes nowhere. Everything breaks down and Jeff avoids a charging Albert, sending him into Bossman. Albert and Bossman had been arguing a lot lately so while they fight some more, Jeff dropkicks Bossman into Alberto and rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here really but it was all about splitting up Albert and Bossman for good, which needed to be done. Bossman would do nothing of note while Albert would join T&A which gave us some very hot shots of Trish Stratus. The match was nothing of note though and was just there as a means to an end.

Big Show wants to face HHH but says he doesn’t like being called a jabroni by Rock. Maybe he’ll win the Rumble instead of Rock.

Chyna goes up to Tori (not Wilson) and has bad news for her. I guess we’ll get more on that later.

Kurt Angle/Steve Blackman vs. Edge/Christian

Angle is VERY new here, having about three months under his belt at this point. Edge and Blackman get us going with Edge dominating through a lot of dropkicks. Off to Christian vs. Angle with the Olympian getting run over. Christian misses a charge and runs into the post to give the cannon fodder control. It’s so weird to see Angle as a rookie like this and the lowest level guy as far as accomplishments go. Angle hooks a quick chinlock but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT by Christian. Blackman fires off some kicks to Edge….and here’s Val Venis. He plays with Blackman’s kendo stick so Edge can hit a German for the pin.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was as I don’t remember Blackman vs. Val at all and I have no idea why this would have been a feud at all. Angle would become the first big star out of this with Edge close behind him and again it’s weird to see something like this with both of them being lower midcard guys. The match was nothing.

Chyna is talking to Tori in the back still and says that Jericho is crossing a line. He’s been looking at Tori apparently and maybe Kane, Tori’s boyfriend, should kill Jericho as long as it’s not for the co-owned IC Title that Jericho and Chyna share. Tori freaks out and agrees.

Clip of Cactus diving into a dumpster and getting shoved off the stage.

New Age Outlaws vs. Farrooq

Farrooq jumps them both to start but the numbers catch up with him quickly. Billy hits a Jackhammer and the shaky knee gets the pin with Billy helping out. This wasn’t even 90 seconds.

Bradshaw runs out with a pipe for the save.

DX is still looking for X-Pac.

D’Lo Brown/Godfather vs. Headbangers

What is with all the tag matches tonight? An orange logo pops up on screen with a 13 in the middle and says the mood is about to change. That would wind up being Taz. Godfather asks if the Headbangers are gay but Mosh says Godfather’s problem is that they look better than his ladies. Mosh and Brown get us going but both quickly tag. Godfather runs Thrasher over and hits the spinning legdrop. Brown comes back in for a double suplex The Bangers double team D’Lo but since they don’t recognize, it’s quickly back to Godfather for the Ho Train. Low Down gets the quick pin. This was basically a squash.

Big Show and Rock are in the back and Big Show doesn’t want Rock in his way tonight. Rock says Big Show is a worthy opponent but he’ll never be People’s Champion. HHH can have the back of his hand while X-Pac has the front during the beatdown tonight. Rock is just CRAZY over here.

More Classic Cactus shows him winning a random hardcore match over Mideon and Viscera.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Pre-match Jericho runs his mouth of course, saying that he doesn’t find Tori attractive and you’d have to be stupid to do so. The beating begins as Chyna is watching in the back with a big smile on her face. Kane grabs him to start but Jericho comes back with the forearm….which does nothing at all. A powerbomb puts the Canadian down and a shoulder sends Jericho to the floor.

Kane mixes it up and tries a clothesline off the steps but Jericho ducks. They go to the apron with Jericho dropkicking Kane to the floor. Jericho finally gets a breather by hitting a drop toehold onto the steps. Back in the missile dropkick looks to set up the Walls but the Kat (Chyna’s implied lesbian worship slave) comes out to steal the IC belt. The distraction lets the chokeslam and tombstone get the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing here but these two had some chemistry together at times. The co-champions angle didn’t really work but it was certainly a unique idea. Kane would move on to feud with X-Pac over Tori while Jericho would have crazy good matches with Angle and Benoit for like ever.

X-Pac is here, making the whole “where is he” stuff from earlier mean nothing. Pac isn’t worried about tonight but doesn’t like having to get beaten up every week. HHH says trust him.

X-Pac/HHH vs. Big Show/The Rock

HHH tries to drive a wedge between his opponents by saying Rock has to come out last to get the big pop because of his ego. Big Show looks mad before starting with HHH. Show pounds him down and hits a headbutt before stomping away in the corner. He refuses to tag Rock so when he calls for the chokeslam, Rock tags himself in. Off to Pac and Rock destroys him, throwing him to the outside. Spinebuster to HHH looks to set up the Elbow but Pac hits him in the back with a chair.

Pac comes in but the Bronco Buster is killed by a clothesline. Rock takes a spinwheel kick for two and it’s back to HHH. DX tags off a few times until HHH walks into a DDT. Rock crawls over to Big Show but the big man walks out on him, officially turning heel. A low blow and Pedigree get the pin on Rock.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here as this was much more about the angle than the match. Rock vs. HHH would obviously be a bigger deal later on in the year and would go on to produce one of the best feuds of all time. Big Show would turn face again just after Wrestlemania. That guy must hold a record for most turns.

Post match Big Show chokeslams Rock to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst show ever but it had an excellent opener to start things off. The Rumble would wind up being awesome and almost everything here touched on matches there other than Hardys vs. Dudleys but I can live with that. The opening segment is legendary and it is for a reason, as it worked perfectly. Not a good show for the most part but it had its moments.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 20, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s just after MITB and the only major change is that Ziggler is the MITB case holder for this show. Other than that we’re just in a holding pattern tonight as everything is likely to be shoved forward on Monday at the 1000th Raw. I’d be surprised if we found out anything about Summerslam tonight but it’s possible. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is currently Pandora charm bracelets.

Here’s the freshly returned Rey Mysterio to open things up. We’re in his hometown tonight so you know the pop is big. We get a quick recap of Alberto injuring him in this arena a year ago but now he’s back here with his family. He couldn’t wait for tonight to get back which is why he was there on Raw, and Alberto being there just made the whole thing sweeter.

Cue Alberto who calls Rey a chihuahua and says that Rey is back, only to get hurt again. Alberto says that he could hurt Rey all over again but instead he’ll just let Rey leave. Rey says no way so Alberto says whatever and starts talking about Sheamus. Rey says that at MITB, Sheamus beat up Del Rio. Del Rio says that he’ll be the next world champion, and here’s Ziggler.

Dolph talks about winning the case and about how he was going to cash in on Sunday which would make him the World Heavyweight Champion right now. Del Rio says that he’s loco and challenges Dolph for a fight right now, along with his burra (female donkey) Vickie. Rey says get it on right now but Dolph suggests he and Del Rio team up against Rey. Cue Sheamus and I think I know where this is going. Sheamus says that if Ziggler takes another step towards Rey, the briefcase is going up his trunk and he’ll drive Dolph into the Pacific Ocean. Del Rio runs so Ziggler gets an ax handle to the face and almost a 619.

After a break the tag match is announced. If you don’t know what I mean, go read something else.

Prime Time Players/Hunico/Camacho vs. Primo/Epico/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Hunico and Epico get things going with things moving very quickly. Hunico slams him face first into the mat but is quickly pulled down into an armbar. Off to Primo for a dropkick and more armbaring, this time on Camacho. A blind tag brings in Truth for some gyrations and a spinning legdrop. Everything breaks down and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting tagged in to beat on Camacho. The Boom Drop hits but Hunico breaks up Trouble in Paradise, allowing Camacho to hit a spinebuster on the flippy Jamaican.

Off to Hunico with a slingshot hilo for two. Titus comes in and slams Kofi down for two before hooking an abdominal stretch. Young comes in but Kofi takes him down with a shot to the face. Hot tag brings in Primo who cleans house. A spinning flip dive off the top takes down Darren and everything breaks down. Titus knocks Primo off the top into the gutbuster from Young for the pin at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. This was fine when you consider how many people were in it. The tag division is actually growing a bit here with four teams to fight each other which is a nice change of pace. Also it’s nice to see at least some of them on TV almost every week. This wasn’t a great match or anything but at least it’s better than nothing.

Big Show comes out post match and cleans house on everyone but the Players. He leaves them all laying with punches and chokeslams before asking for a mic. He says “and what” and leaves.

Jeremy Piven was on Raw once.

We get a LONG recap of Cena’s path to MITB and his promo on Monday, announcing that he’s cashing in at Raw 1000.

Don’t be a bully.

Damien Sandow vs. Zach Ryder

Sandow yells during Ryder’s entrance about how stupid it is so Ryder charges into the ring and it’s on. Ryder pounds him down but Sandow gets in a shot to the head and takes over. Sandow puts Ryder on the apron to drop an elbow as the fans cheer for Zach. Back in and Sandow fires in knees to the ribs, followed by the double arm neckbreaker for the pin at 1:25. Basically a squash.

Time for the Peep Show with Bryan and AJ as the guests. Christian talks about the situation and we get a clip of the proposal from Monday. Here are AJ and Bryan with AJ now in a Bryan top. There’s a ring now on her finger now too. Christian asks about the wedding planning and we get a video of the pair going to various places set to classical music. I miss little videos like this one. Christian asks if Bryan is serious and if AJ has forgiven Bryan for what he did, both of which receive a yes answer.

Christian asks the fans if they think this is true love or if AJ knows what she’s doing. The fans say no, so Christian asks AJ if she knows what she’s doing. That earns Christian a slap and the marriage participants go to leave, but Christian says hang on a sec. Apparently Bryan has a match tonight and it’s with AJ’s psycho ex-boyfriend.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

We start the match after a break so that the set can be cleared out. Bryan fires off some YES kicks but Kane knees him in the ribs to break that up. Kane kicks him down for two and puts on a bodyscissors. A backbreaker hits Bryan and Kane bends Bryan’s spine over the knee. Bryan finally gets up and does the backflip out of the corner before taking out Kane’s knee. Here are more kicks but Kane grabs him by the throat.

Chokeslam is broken up and there’s a BIG kick to the head for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into an uppercut for two. Side slam gets two for Kane and the big man goes up, only to jump into a YES Lock attempt. Kane escapes and they head to the floor with Kane accidentally knocking AJ over. Kane goes off on Bryan and sends him into the announce table. Back inside and Kane loads up the chokeslam but AJ jumps on him, drawing the DQ at 5:13.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this one by the end. The ending is annoying but there’s no need to have Bryan get a win before the wedding as that is likely going to end in chaos. These two have some chemistry together and it was here again, which is always a nice thing to see. AJ still being psycho is a good thing too as it’ll play into the wedding on Monday.

AJ stays on Kane’s back and rips at his face. Bryan charges at Kane but gets chokeslammed with AJ still on Kane’s back. AJ gets down in Kane’s face like she’s about to kiss him and gives him the freaky look. Kane looks confused and Bryan pulls AJ out to the floor. Bryan and AJ kiss on the stage.

Here’s Slater again and he has a new legend to face, which is the first time he’s done that on Smackdown. We get a quick video about Heath’s experiences against legends.

Heath Slater vs. Animal

Yes of the Road Warriors. Animal looks OLD. He isn’t fat but he has no muscle definition at all. The match runs 45 seconds and Animal wins with a powerslam and elbow drop.

Ricardo and Vickie are arguing in the back and Vickie screams a lot.

We run down the stuff for Raw 1000.

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus

During Dolph’s entrance we get a clip from Monday with the Codebreaker to Ziggler. Ziggler and Sheamus start things off and the champ runs him over with a shoulder block. Ziggler goes after Sheamus’ arm which I guess is still injured. Sheamus picks him up and hits a quick Regal Roll for two. The fans want Rey and here he is, hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Rey is in a t-shirt here which is a different look for him.

Ziggler takes Rey’s head off with a clothesline for two and it’s off to Del Rio. Rey rolls away from Alberto and tags in Sheamus, sending Del Rio to the floor in fear. Ziggler gets caught in the ropes with the ten forearms and is sent to the floor. Sheamus goes out after him but gets dropkicked coming back in as we take a break. Back with Ziggler getting thrown off Sheamus and there’s the tag to Mysterio.

Rey kicks Dolph in the face for two and it’s 619 time. Del Rio kicks Mysterio in the back to break that up though and comes in with a chinlock. Back to Ziggler for some rope choking and an armbar. Alberto comes back in and works on the arm again but allows Rey to get close to a tag. That doesn’t connect though and Rey gets sent into the corner. Rey backdrops Del Rio to the floor but Ziggler comes in and breaks up the tag to Sheamus.

Ziggler picks up Rey but gets caught in a spinning DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and Del Rio comes in again. Sheamus cleans house on everyone, including sending Del Rio into Ziggler, knocking Ziggler into the announce table. White Noise takes down Del Rio but Ricardo breaks up the Brogue Kick for the DQ at 9:46 shown of 13:46.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, especially with an ending like that. That’s not much of a return to the ring for Rey as he never even got a hot tag. The ending was stupid too as it’s the second DQ ending in a big match we’ve had tonight. The match wasn’t even that good either as it was a slow paced version of the main event tag. Not horrible though.

Del Rio puts the Armbreaker on Sheamus again before leaving. Ziggler looks like he’s going to cash in but Rey breaks it up. Sheamus kicks Ziggler’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being VERY generous. There was nothing tonight that means anything as Rey’s return was pretty much wasted and it looks like we’re getting more Del Rio vs. Sheamus. That would be fine if it was set up by something different. Instead, Del Rio is going after Sheamus’ arm AGAIN, because that’s how this feud is set up I guess. This show was worthless, but Monday should have a few things on it. Bad show this week and one of the worst in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 13, 2012
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before Money in the Bank and most of the show is set. For the short term, tonight Zach Ryder is in charge after winning a battle royal last week. We have another week or two before we get a permanent GM so putting Ryder out here like this is a good idea as it gives him some TV time to remind people that he’s still alive. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Z True Long Island Story of Ryder celebrating his win in the battle royal.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is that extra day off after the All Star Game. What was the point of it?

Here’s Ryder to open the show. He welcomes us to Zach-Down and leads us in a huge fist pump.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio makes fun of Ryder so Ryder makes this match. Cara avoids a charging Del Rio but gets taken down by a fast knee for two. The stupid lights are off again. Del Rio takes him down before bending Cara over the middle rope for some choking. Cara avoids a charge in the corner and fires off some kicks. A DDT gets two on Alberto but he comes back with a chop to put Cara down.

Now Del Rio misses a charge of his own and Cara kicks him to the floor. A suicide dive sends Del Rio into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Cara hitting a running kick to the chest for two. Del Rio shrugs that off and grabs the arm as is his custom. He hooks an armbar and cranks on it for a good while. Del Rio misses a charge in the corner (a theme in this match) and Cara snaps off a rana to take over. A spinning DDT gets two for Cara but a Swanton misses. Cross Armbreaker finishes this at 6:40 shown of 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I was expecting and Cara looked pretty good in it, but the big issue: why does Cara need to be in here? He’s in the MITB match on Sunday and therefore may be a world title contender in the very near future, but he has to job here. Why? Was there NO ONE else on the roster that Del Rio could have made to tap here? I know I say this a lot but WWE keeps doing it.

We get a quick Tout video from Cena, talking about his favorite Raw moment, which is the night when he was drafter to Raw. This is followed by some fans’ videos. This is going to get old REALLY fast. All of these favorite moments are from the last two years.

Big Show complains to Ryder about how the show is being run. He threatens to knock Ryder out but Khali stops it. Ryder makes a match between the two of them tonight. Khali does Woo Woo Woo.

Primo vs. Darren Young

Young pounds him down to start but Primo comes back with some punches. The running hip attack hits Young while he’s in 619 position but Primo walks into a hot shot. AW is on a mic all of a sudden and says this beatdown is courtesy of All World Enterprises. Young chops away and drops a leg on Primo while he’s on the apron. Back in there’s a regular legdrop and an elbow gets two. AW is playing this role perfectly. Off to a cravate to kill some time but Primo makes a comeback. Young knocks him right back down but he wastes too much time, getting small packaged and pinned clean at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here, but AGAIN, what is the point in having one of your #1 contenders lose here? Young isn’t great on his own, but why did he need to lose here? What does this gain? If my memory is right, the match on the preshow is non-title, so you don’t need to keep the Colons strong. Also why isn’t the tag title match happening there? This makes next to no sense on all fronts.

Did you know: Raw has aired 300 more episodes than Monday Night Football. Yes WWE, it means something that when you air 50 episodes a year, you can beat a show that airs 17 a year. Good job.

Another Raw moment is Edge retiring.

Ryder and Sheamus are doing nothing in the back so Jericho comes up and runs his mouth. Ryder makes them the main event.

Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/Dolph Ziggler

Christian and Cody start us off and the Canadian is taken down by a shoulder block. Christian comes back and brings in Santino, causing Cody to runs away. Off to Ziggler whose hair is slicked back enough that you could barely tell it was there from behind. Ziggler takes him to the mat and we have no commentary. Santino cranks on the arm and I’d assume the audio being gone is a production thing that will be fixed during the broadcast.

Santino works on the arm and brings in Christian, but it’s back to Cody who takes over. Ziggler comes in and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Back to Cody whose Alabama Slam is countered and Christian hits a flapjack to take over. Hot tag brings in Santino and he cleans house, but Cody breaks up the Cobra. Cody and Christian brawl up the ramp, allowing the Zig Zag to hit Santino for the pin at 4:32.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here and while it’s annoying to have another big name and in this case a champion get beaten here, at least it was by someone that would be in the same match as them on Sunday. Santino is there for comedy anyway so it’s not that big of a deal. Ziggler and Cody are the favorites for the match too so if one of them win, that makes it a bit better.

Raw ReBound is the ending to the show with the tag match and AJ slapping both Bryan and Punk.

Great Khali vs. Big Show

Commentary is back now. They circle each other for a bit and the WMD gets the pin in 33 seconds. I’m so glad they did this aren’t you? One good thing though: Khali has nothing to lose here so the win means something (I guess) and Show looks dominant going into Sunday. Why can’t that be the case in every match?

Ryback vs. Tyler Reks

Makes sense after Hawkins getting beat last week. Ryback throws him around to start and sends Reks to the floor, only to get stunned coming back into the ring. That’s the extent of Reks’ offense here though, as Ryback suplexes him down. Reks gets a right hand to Ryback’s ribs but gets clotheslined right down. Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:50. Handicap match next week?

Hugh Jackman was on Raw once.

Rock will be on the 1000th Raw.

Some fans Tout their favorite Raw moments. They’re all from the Attitude Era other than one from 2007. Again, why am I supposed to care about this stuff?

Justin Gabriel vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes him down quickly and hooks a chinlock. Justin makes a short comeback with some strikes but he walks into some knees to the face and the double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:30. Total squash.

We recap the reveal of the Anonymous Raw GM because once just wasn’t enough I guess.

We run down the card for Sunday, all four matches of it.

Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and Jericho slaps him. Sheamus pounds him into another corner and Jericho bails to the floor. Back inside and Jericho gets drilled down again. Jericho gets a boot up and hits a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Sheamus is having none of that and hits the ten forearms before knocking Jericho off the apron and onto the announce table.

We take a break and come back with Jericho kicking Sheamus in the chest. Jericho hooks a chinlock but Sheamus gets up and avoids a charge, sending Jericho’s shoulder into the post. Irish Curse gets two as does the Regal Roll. Jericho tries a quick Codebreaker but Sheamus counters. Brogue Kick gets Sheamus caught in the ropes and Jericho hits the springboard dropkick for two.

Sheamus knocks him down again and loads up the High Cross but Jericho counters into the Walls. Sheamus makes a rope but gets put right back into the hold. Jericho pulls him back into the middle of the ring but Sheamus escapes and White Noise gets two. Brogue Kick misses and the Codebreaker gets two. Sheamus kicks Jericho away and pulls himself to the top but jumps into two knees to the face called the Codebreaker. THAT gets two and Jericho is furious. Jericho tells Sheamus to get up but walks into the Brogue for the pin at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: B. This was your usual good Smackdown main event. I can live with Jericho living here because he dominated the match and lost on a Hail Mary Brogue Kick from Sheamus. They beat on each other for a long time until it was hard to say who was going to win at the end. That’s hard to do anymore but it worked very well here. Good stuff.

Post breaks here’s Del Rio’s car but Del Rio pops up behind Sheamus and puts him in the armbreaker over the stage. You know, exactly what he was supposed to do a few weeks ago before their other match. Sheamus is in trouble to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t bad, but Smackdown continues to be completely not required wrestling to watch anymore. With all of the recaps on here and the quick squashes other than the main event, there wasn’t much worth seeing. MITB looks like it’s just a bump in the road before the 1000th Raw which is the real major show this month. After that though, it looks like they could be in big trouble. Nothing to see here but it’s nothing too bad. Also, what did Ryder do here other than make like 2 matches?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2012
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s another live show here and in this case it’s the Great American Bash. The main event tonight is a 20 man battle royal with the winner getting to be GM next week on Friday. That’s up in the air and only offers a few interesting options, which means one of them is likely going to win. These shows are very hit and miss so hopefully this is the former of the two. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with a big party. There are girls in small outfits, Hornswoggle in the tub and Teddy in a Kiss the GM apron. Eve is going to be the cleaning lady tonight. Santino is brought forward to light the barbecue to officially start things off. Teddy and Santino back off from lighting it as Kane is here. He lights the fire for them in a cute bit.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is having guests that are going to keep me from seeing Dark Knight Rises for another week.

Cole says he’s going to get inside AJ’s head tonight.

Here’s Del Rio to open the show. He’s going to talk about himself, namely his match at MITB with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to be sent back to Ireland because he’s just like all these people: a hooligan trying to take advantage of people like Del Rio. Alberto came here legally and is making money both here and in Mexico, unlike everyone here. He wants to send everyone here to the place where they belong, so he asks to see some people’s papers. One guy doesn’t have them so Alberto asks for security to take him out. The guy says this is Texas, not Arizona.

Cue Sheamus for the save and they brawl in the aisle. The champ throws Del Rio off the stage and into the barricade a few times. Ricardo keeps trying to help and eventually it allows Del Rio to kick Sheamus in the head. Ricardo opens the hood and Del Rio slams it down onto Sheamus’ back over and over.

Post break we look at most of the attack all over again. Sheamus is taken out and has some blood coming down his head.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Cody brags about having another qualifying match later tonight but Teddy informs him that it’s against Christian. Cody isn’t happy.

Raw Moment: Foley wins the title. They spend about as much time talking about WCW spoiling it and 600,000 people changing the channel than about the title change itself.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Christian

Non-title. The idea is that Cody has never beaten Christian so he’s in over his head here. Cody sends him to the apron and hits a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes looks at the case a lot and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a hammerlock before hitting a release gordbuster for two. Christian comes back with a middle rope missile dropkick and gets fired up.

He slingshots to the floor and uppercuts Cody followed by a running seated dropkick. Top rope cross body gets two for the champ. Cody’s Alabama Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two. He goes to unhook the buckle but Christian grabs him with a reverse DDT for two. The spear is countered but Cody misses the Disaster Kick. Killswitch is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the completely clean pin at 9:12.

Rating: C+. Well that was kind of anti-climactic. Naturally there was NO ONE that Cody could beat other than Christian to qualify right? I mean, there was no one else that could job out there other than a champion. The match was good but it makes the title look weak again which they had been changing for awhile.

Backstage Ryder starts a dance party after Slater is run off. Brodus takes center stage.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley

Riley immediately hits a great dropkick for a fast two. Ziggler DDTs him down for a fast two and takes over. Riley makes a fast comeback with a clothesline in the corner and a spinebuster for two. The crowd continues to be into Riley which is interesting. Inverted DDT is countered but Ziggler’s Stinger Splash misses, giving Riley a rollup for a close two. Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:28.

Cole is in the ring to interview AJ. That theme song of hers’ is catchy. Cole says he’s fair and balanced, unlike AJ who is clearly unbalanced. We get a long video recapping everything AJ did last night. Cole cuts her off and says AJ wasn’t thinking. He calls her a teenager (she’s 25) and asks if she’s ever thought about pursuing a real man. One with power and influence and a former war correspondent who became the voice of the WWE.

Cue Bryan before this gets too weird. He calls Cole a sexist and says AJ didn’t mean for him to go through a table last night. It was all a misunderstanding. Cue Punk who angrily throws Cole out. He says AJ did something last night that directly affected both Bryan and himself last night. Punk isn’t going to pretend it didn’t happen just because AJ is guest referee. She’s not in a good place mentally and maybe some of that is Punk’s fault. Punk says AJ needs professional help but Bryan cuts him off.

Bryan says that Punk is trying to be tricky because AJ is the guest referee. The only thing Punk cares about is having AJ as guest referee because he needs her to retain the title. AJ kisses Bryan for awhile and Punk shakes his head and leaves. She goes after him and kisses him too. Bryan looks stunned and Punk looks confused. AJ skips off and does a YES chant on the stage.

Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre

Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.

Back to the party where Little Jimmy is jumping up and down. Sandow comes in and unplugs the cord. He says this isn’t what our founding fathers fought for. Ryder gets in his face but Sandow has a speech ready. A fight breaks out with the people chanting Ryder. Zach gets the punch bowl but it goes onto Eve. Everyone laughs at her and it’s time to keep dancing.

Hawkins and Reks both think they can beat Ryback but Hawkins won the coin toss and gets to face him.

Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins tries a sleeper but gets caught in the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder. Ryback slams his head into the mat and hits an overhead choke suplex. Hawkins gets his head taken off by a clothesline and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:08.

Sheamus is out of the battle royal tonight.

Raw Moment: Vince Appreciation Night. Donald Trump made it rain money.

Here’s Teddy to thank the fans for letting him be the GM this week.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Heath Slater, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Big Show, Great Khali, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Tensai, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Zach Ryder, Santino Marella, Cody Rhodes, Christian

Only the big names get entrances as per usual. At the moment I’m probably missing some names but i’ll fill them in as we go. Show throws out Justin and Brodus quickly. A bunch of people team up to throw out Khali. I’m missing one guy but I’m not sure if Sheamus was replaced or now. Ryder knocks out Sandow and Cody throws out Santino. Oh Christian is #20. Show shoves out Kofi and Cody as we take a break.

Back with ten guys to go as Bryan and Punk slug it out. Bryan stands in front of the ropes and Punk charges at him, eliminating both guys. Ok so we have Kane, Ziggler, Cena, Christian, Del Rio, Tensai, Ryder and Big Show to go. Big Show chokeslams Cena but Kane chokeslams Big Show. Tensai goes after Kane and pounds him into the corner. Cena erupts and beats up everyone before tossing Del Rio. Kane takes an AA but Tensai slows Cena down.

Christian and Ryder work on Big Show but that gets them nowhere. Cena dumps Tensai but Show dumps Cena immediately thereafter. So it’s Big Show, Ryder, Christian, Ziggler and Kane. Show spears Ryder down and easily tosses out Christian to get us down to four. Ziggler puts Show in the sleeper but Kane kicks Show in the head to put them both out.

It’s Ryder vs. Kane now which isn’t the pairing I was expecting. Kane pounds him down but runs into the corner knees and the Broski Boot. Ryder tries the Rough Ryder because he’s not that bright, but he escapes the chokeslams and low bridges Kane for the elimination and the win at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Why not? Seriously, why not? You can’t say this was predictable and it was pretty fun at the same time. Ryder has nothing to do and it’s good to give him a featured spot on next week’s show. This is probably Ryder’s second biggest win ever and maybe it’ll be the start of a new push for him. Nothing special here but I had a good time with it.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that’s more based around fun than quality. That’s ok but I’d kind of like to see something that actually matters on Smackdown once in awhile. This felt like any other episode and the live aspect didn’t really change anything other than the day it was airing on. As for the American aspect of it, there was almost nothing here other than some standard comedy bits and Duggan/Slaughter’s required appearances. Nothing to see here but it was nothing particularly bad so we’ll go with a little above average.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 29, 2012
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It appears to be time to start the MITB build as they did that over on the Raw show. Now over there we had people that had only been WWE Champion, but there aren’t that many candidates for the Smackdown World Title. Also I’m not sure if there are going to be more people in the Raw match or not, but they have more time to change it if they want. Sheamus defends against Ziggler and Del Rio in a triple threat tonight too. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is yet again this heat wave. Four straight days of over 100 degrees in Kentucky? That needs to be destroyed.

We open with a recap of the triple threat elimination match from Raw.

AJ vs. Layla

Layla has Tiffany’s old music now because….I have no idea actually. AJ takes her to the mat but Layla runs her over and blows a kiss. A rollup gets two for the champ (non-title here though) and she works on the arm. AJ comes back with a dropkick and corner clothesline for two. Layla comes back with a spinning facejam but AJ kicks her head off. Cue Bryan to shout YES a lot and skip around the ring ala AJ. Layla rolls up AJ for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C-. This was better than most Divas matches. The ending was another advancement in the story as now Daniel is tormenting AJ. Both girls were looking good here too, although I still don’t like the new music for Layla. Then again I didn’t like the song back when Tiffany had it either. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when they have time.

AJ snaps on Layla post match. Bryan tells her to calm down and says there’s something that needs to be done. He demands to talk to Vickie and threatens to hold the show hostage unless she comes out here. Bryan says YES a lot and AJ does the same. We take a break for a Raw Moment of Tyson joining DX and come back with dueling YES shouts. Vickie comes out and says everyone is tired of hearing Bryan’s catchphrase over and over again.

Bryan says he’s the #1 contender to Punk’s title and he thanks Vickie for getting him that shot. He proposes an alliance once she becomes GM. He wants AJ banned from ringside because she’s a liability. Vickie yells at AJ a lot but Bryan says this is about him, not AJ. Vickie talks about some poll on WWE.com and based on that, AJ is going to be guest referee.

This comes off as incredibly lame to me, as it’s taking WAY too long to make this announcement. Instead of wasting time like this, just announce this stuff and say the Board of Directors made the decision. It saves like ten minutes that you can use on other stuff. Bryan yells NO and leaves. Vickie STILL isn’t done because she announces that there will be MITB qualifying matches over the next two weeks and everyone is eligible to enter.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Zach Ryder vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow does his usual stuff on the way to the ring. Booker says that Sandow needs to stop idolizing Leaping Lanny Poffo. So there is something to that theory I guess. Anyway Ryder takes him down to start but Sandow reverses him into the corner and stomps away. A Russian legsweep puts Ryder down and Sandow drops an elbow which has some Latin name apparently. Sandow ducks his head and gets caught in a facejam followed by the knees in the corner. A kind of powerbomb gets two for Ryder and there’s the Broski Boot. Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot and that double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 2:25.

Bryan goes to the Divas locker room looking for AJ but finds Kaitlyn instead. She doesn’t know where AJ is but suggests that Bryan find her and get on AJ’s good side because she’s a bit crazy.

Summerslam hype video.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd

Swagger quickly takes him to the mat but gets caught in a pair of rolling cradles for two. He bails to the floor in frustration but gets dropkicked in the face for his troubles. Back in and Kidd charges into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Jack works on the arm and drops a leg on it for two. Vader Bomb gets two. Swagger hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Kidd quickly gets up and hits a DDT to put both guys down. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A victory roll attempt is countered and there’s the ankle lock but Kidd escapes. Another dropkick sets up a Blockbuster for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending was a nice surprise. Swagger would be in the match as a warm body, while Kidd can at least add some dives and high spots which is what makes those matches work. Also it’s nice to see some new faces getting pushed like Sandow and Kidd. They won’t win, but it’s nice to see them getting to rub elbows in a match like this. That’s how you get them pushed which is something WWE really needs to do at this point.

We get the McMahon in the hospital moment AGAIN.

We recap the mess that was the contract on the pole match from Monday.

Ziggler wants to know why Vickie isn’t doing anything but she can’t because the Board is watching her. Dolph wants the Brogue Kick and Cross Armbreaker banned. She says that’ll make her look bad which makes Ziggler freak out. She slaps him in the face but agrees to be out there with him tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/David Otunga

The winning team will both get into the match. David gets a fanfare of music while he poses in the ring now. Santino and Cody start but it’s quickly off to Christian. Christian gets in some right hands but Cody takes him down with a knee to the ribs. Off to Otunga who hits a seated shoulder block for two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds, but Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs.

Off to Otunga vs. Marella with the champion hitting his usual stuff. He loads up the Cobra but Cody pulls Otunga to the floor before Santino can cover. Rhodes comes in legally and gets a few two counts before throwing the Cobra sock to the floor. Otunga comes in and drops an elbow for two, followed by a modified camel clutch.

Santino suplexes his way out of it and tags in Christian who cleans house. A flapjack and jumping back elbow to Cody look to set up the Killswitch but Cody escapes. Another attempt is countered but the reverse DDT connects. Otunga breaks up the spear but heel miscommunicatio lets Christian spear Otunga down for the pin at 6:23.

Rating: C-. This was fine and we have a warm body and a comedy character into the match now. To be fair, either team could have won and the results would have been about the same. Otunga is just barely above being a comedy character anyway and Cody and Christian probably have about the same chance to win the case. This was fine but nothing great at all.

Sheamus says he could win tonight and make it to MITB, only to get cashed in on. Or he could walk outside and get hit by a car driven by Lindsay Lohan. He doesn’t live by what if’s, and therefore he doesn’t worry.

Time to waste another minute and a half by talking about This Is Your Life Rock.

Bryan comes up to AJ in the back and says he’s worried about her well being. AJ attacking Layla isn’t like her and maybe she should seek professional help. Bryan knows a doctor that could help her, because people that care about each other help each other out. AJ says she’ll take the number. Well actually she says YES a lot but you get the idea.

Dan Barone/Brendan Burke vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Kentucky (YAY!) and they combine to weigh 350lbs. Where do they find these singing jobbers? Is there a farm where they’re grown? Barone takes a HUGE powerbomb and Shell Shocked (that’s the official name for it) ends this at 1:50.

Aksana and Cesaro are kissing in the back when Teddy interrupts them. He’s the GM for both shows next week and on the live Smackdown this Tuesday they’re facing Layla and Great Khali. Teddy has power again for 20 seconds and he’s already made a tag match.

The Raw ReBound is about the ending and the MITB match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Justin Gabriel vs. Tensai

This is quite the downgrade for Tensai. Cody is officially protesting not being in the MITB match because he didn’t lose. Tensai runs him over with his usual stuff and hits a butterfly suplex for two. A bearhug is quickly broken up as is Gabriel’s sunset flip. Gabriel fires off some kicks but can’t even drop Tensai. A springboard missile dropkick puts him down though and a Lionsault gets two. Not that it matters as he jumps into the Baldo Bomb and the running backsplash gets the pin at 2:45.

The THIRD Raw Moment of the night is HHH returning from his quad injury in 2002.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Del Rio still wants a one on one match and doesn’t like competing in this little town. Vickie interrupts him and does Dolph’s intro. We go to a break before the match and this is either something only on the international version or they’re REALLY going overboard, as the fourth Raw Moment is Barker on Raw. Sheamus knocks them both down to start and sends Ziggler to the floor. Del Rio jumps the champion from behind but walks into the Regal Roll for one.

Ziggler tries to jump Sheamus and gets glared at. Sheamus chases him around the ring and runs over Del Rio on the way back in. Del Rio hits the DDT on the arm to take over and hooks an armbar. Sheamus gets sent to the floor and Ziggler follows him out, beating up both guys on the floor. He covers Alberto for two in the ring and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor again.

Del Rio misses a charge into the corner and Ziggler gets two off the collision into the buckle. The fans are behind Sheamus even though he’s on the floor. Del Rio breaks up a superplex attempt but gets knocked off the top to the floor. Sheamus comes back in and hits an electric chair drop on Dolph as we take a break. Back with Del Rio knocking Sheamus to the floor again. The challengers both fall outside on their own and work over the champion at the same time.

They beat on him behind the announcers’ desk and send him into the steps before going back inside for more beating. Alberto double crosses Dolph and tries to steal the title, resulting in a slug out between the two of them. Sheamus comes off the top with a double shoulder block and everyone is down. Ziggler gets thrown to the apron for the ten forearms to put him down. The DDT to the arm is countered and the Irish Curse gets two. Ziggler comes back in but the Fameasser is avoided and there’s White Noise.

Del Rio breaks up the Brogue Kick and gets two on Sheamus. The Armbreaker is broken up but Sheamus charges into the post. Ziggler dropkicks the arm into the post but Del Rio kicks him to the floor. There’s the Armbreaker but Ziggler makes the save. Fameasser gets two on Alberto but Ricardo gets on the apron. Ziggler rolls up Del Rio but Sheamus kicks his head off for the pin at 11:15 shown of 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a solid TV main event with a ton of near falls at the end. Unfortunately it probably sets up Del Rio vs. Sheamus for the title at the PPV because that’s the match they want, even though it’s been moved twice already, one of which I believe was a sign from a higher power not named Vince. This was good stuff though with a ton of near falls and chances that the title could have changed. Sheamus winning was in doubt at some points, which is a very nice touch.

Overall Rating: B-. Given the insane amount of time wasted on this show, they got a lot done. If they had any sense of time management this could have been an even better show. Still though with a good TV main event and some build to MITB including some nice surprises, it’s hard to complain much here. Teddy as GM should be keeping the course just fine so the live show might actually be good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 22, 2012
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re past No Way Out and we have the same world champion in the form of Sheamus. We’re starting the build up to MITB as well so maybe we’ll have someone added to the ladder match here. If I understand it right we have eight people in it again, but I’m really not sure if they have enough people to put 16 guys in two ladder matches. Besides that’s too many in a single match anyway. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is this heat. It’s way too hot to be early summer.

Bryan vs. Kane later tonight plus Sheamus vs. Ziggler in a non-title match.

Here’s Teddy to open the show. Ace is officially fired and tonight, Mick Foley is in charge. Here’s Big Show instead though for a chat. He doesn’t care that Ace is fired because he didn’t care about him. Show doesn’t care about the fans either and now he can do whatever he wants. He congratulates Cena for the win on Sunday but doesn’t care about that anymore. Yep, another main event loss is being written off.

Instead Show is moving on to something, but the fans have to chant for Cena first. Since Show doesn’t care about them though, he’s moving on to the MITB match. He says there are no five men that can stop them, which is a great sounding thing as it might mean that there are only going to be six people in the match. Once he wins the case and cashes in, he’s going to be champion for as long as he wants to be. He’s going to win the title for himself instead of the people in the back or the fans, because it’s all about him.

Cue serious Brodus who is a little hard to take seriously when he has the girls with him. Brodus charges in and is immediately taken down by knee strikes. Brodus hits the headbutt and Show goes down fast. He pounds on Show in the corner but Otunga comes out and hits the bad knee to put Clay down. Show hits him in the knee a few times as the fans chant that Show can’t wrestle. The WMD leaves Brodus laying. Otunga gets in the ring and says someone should call Brodus’ mama. He’ll do it himself and tell Mama Clay that Brodus can’t get up. Otunga does the Carlton Dance and the Thriller Dance. Ok then.

Ryback vs. Frank Venanzia/Jared Walker

Booker says Walker is Brickhouse Brown’s cousin. There’s a name out of the past. Ryback calls them stupid a lot and powerbombs Walker onto Frank. Double Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:43.

Foley is in the back with Yoshi Tatsu when Vickie comes up. She’s the guest GM of both shows next week. If Foley doesn’t behave, she’ll make him her assistant. Foley likes the idea and offers Khali as an assistant instead. Khali and Foley dance.

Bryan’s memorable Raw moment is Jannetty beating Shawn for the IC Title.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Non-title of course. Christian hits a shoulder block to take Del Rio down and hooks the sunset flip out of the corner for a fast two. Del Rio responds by kicking him in the head to take over but Christian sends him to the floor. The champ dives onto Del Rio as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holds Christian in an arm lock. During the break Christian’s shoulder went into the steps to start the attack.

Elbow drop gets two for Del Rio and he stays on the arm. A kick to the arm gets two. Alberto goes up but Christian gets in a right hand and a top rope rana for two. With Del Rio in the rope Christian hits his uppercut but the top rope cross body misses. The corner enziguri misses and Christian hits the tornado DDT for another two. The Codebreaker to the arm slow Christian down again but he shrugs it off and hits a missile dropkick for two.

The Killswitch is countered into a Stunner on the arm for two. Christian takes him down and loads up the spear but he charges into a kick to the face. Cross armbreaker is countered into a countered Killswitch. They go to the corner but Rodriguez interferes, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri and the Armbreaker for the tap at 6:14 shown of 9:44.

Rating: B-. So to be clear, Del Rio has now beaten both midcard champions in four days. Shouldn’t he still be #1 contender by default, or do they really need to have him crush the champions in order to get there? At least this wasn’t a 90 second long match like the one against Santino was. Christian is still solid here and I’ve been liking his face run a lot.

Cody comes out and beats up Christian post match because this feud isn’t done for some unexplained reason. Cody shouts that he is Smackdown and that Christian is stealing his time.

We get a recap from Raw on Monday with Bryan/Kane/Punk/AJ.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is guest timekeeper for this for no apparent reason. Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but charges into a slam. Kane pounds away but charges over the top by mistake. That doesn’t seem to matter much as he keeps beating on Bryan on the floor, only to get sent into the post. Bryan loads up the knee off the apron but Kane gets back inside instead. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s time for the kicks.

Kane comes back with his low dropkick for two and follows Bryan into the corner with a clothesline. Bryan comes back with more kicks but Kane grabs the leg. That gets him nowhere as Bryan sends him into the buckle. He slips coming off the top with the dropkick but a second attempt at it gets two. Kane gets all fired up and pounds away in the corner. Big boot looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan dropkicks the knee.

A hard kick to the head gets two for Bryan but his Swan Dive is caught in a choke. That gets countered into a failed YES Lock but the chokeslam is countered into a guillotine. Kane powers out of that too but Bryan gets the YES Lock. AJ rings the bell without a tap at 7:25. That gets waved off because Kane didn’t tap and the chokeslam gets the real pin at 7:54.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this at the end until we got to the psycho AJ segment of it which was also fine. The near falls at the end were getting good and I was wondering if Kane was going to tap or not, which is a good thing. Another interesting thing here is that Bryan is on the verge of being turned face by crowd reaction alone, which usually results in a monster push. This was a nice surprise.

AJ skips off of course.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s glad Ace got fired so he can come back for one night only in Baltimore. Cue Heath Slater to a big cheer from Cole. Slater complains about what happened on Raw with Lauper and Piper, but Foley says there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Foley makes a match for Slater here tonight though.

Heath Slater vs. Zach Ryder

You know, because the LONG ISLAND GUY couldn’t be on Raw in LONG ISLAND right? Ryder takes over quickly but Slater hides in the corner. He comes back with a neckbreaker for two but walks into knees out of the corner. Rough Ryder gets the pin at 1:12.

Foley and Ryder celebrate in the back but run into Sandow. He’s disgusted by what he just saw and says that Ryder has brought the WWE Universe down to new levels of stupidity. I guess Sandow has his first feud.

Usos vs. Prime Time Players

Darren and Jey start things off with the Uso taking over. They head to the corner and the brothers double team Darren. Titus avoids a double superkick and it’s off to Jimmy. Darren drives him into the corner and it’s off to Titus for some power. We hit the chinlock which Jimmy escapes pretty quickly. Hot tag brings in Jey but he and Darren go to the floor quickly. Jimmy goes up for the Superfly Splash but Titus pulls him down and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the Prime Time Players getting another win is a good thing for them. With the tag champions being gone for awhile now until Truth’s foot heals, Young and O’Neal need to be built up as much as they possibly can. The match was nothing of note but it did its job pretty well.

Post break Epico and Primo jump the Players in the back.

Here’s Santino for Sign of the Night. Most of these signs suck. Some chick has an I Love Santino sign and he invites her into the ring. She’s dressed like Santino and their Cobras kiss. Then she kisses him and Santino faints.

Jerry Lawler likes Vince in the hospital. This is the third time I’ve seen this in a week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title here. Ziggler gets behind Sheamus to start but Sheamus easily powers out of it. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock followed by a shoulder for two. Ziggler gets a boot to Sheamus’ face and sends him to the floor. Dolph is hitting and running here which makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is diving at a power guy, resulting in him getting caught in a fallaway slam into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with the guys in the ring and Ziggler putting on a chinlock. They go to the floor and Sheamus sends Dolph into the steps but he stops to yell at Vickie. Dolph comes back with a sweet Fameasser off the steps to take over. Neckbreaker gets two as does an elbow drop. A quick sleeper is countered but Dolph dropkicks him down for two. Another neckbreaker gets two so let’s hit the chinlock again.

Sheamus breaks out of that one just as easily as he has all of the other ones. He starts running over Ziggler and loads up White Noise but Ziggler escapes into a rollup for two. Dolph comes back with a jumping DDT for two and Sheamus goes to the apron. He goes up top and knocks Ziggler out of the air when Dolph tries to run the ropes. The top rope shoulder gets two and there are the ten forearms in the ropes. Irish Curse is broken up but Ziggler charges into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:00 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B-. I liked this one more than the PPV match. Ziggler used a lot of sleepers and chinlocks, but there’s something about him where you think that he could pull off an upset here. He can hit that Fameasser from anywhere and it would do him a lot of good to make that his primary finisher. This worked well though and for a TV main event, this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. What an improvement over last week. This show felt like it was actually decent even though nothing really happened. The main event was good and we got another good match in Bryan vs. Kane. Above all else though, nothing was really bad and we got some good matches too. That makes this about ten times better than last week’s show which is the best thing that could happen for Smackdown this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 15, 2012
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show before No Way Out and most of the show is set I believe. Tonight we have a tag match between the guys in the world title matches which is a nice touch. Other than that I’m not sure what else there’s going to be, but I’d bet on there being some Johnny Ace talking time, which is some cross between hilarious and awful. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of Raw and the punch not hitting Vince in the face.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Cincinnati Reds. Those pesky people sweeping the Indians.

Here’s AJ to open the show. She says there’s a very simple reason why she kissed Kane on Raw. Before she can get it out though, here’s Vickie to interrupt her. She says that AJ isn’t the story tonight, because the story is Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler talks about yelling at Vickie and saying he’s better than this. He goes into one of his fast paced insult barrages at AJ, who responds by saying “I stopped listening about halfway through that but I guess I was supposed to be offended?” The huge smile on her face and the voice she says it with make that awesome.

AJ thinks the bleach in Ziggler’s hair has gotten into his brain if he thinks he’ll win the world title. She calls Vickie his grandma and gets slapped. AJ gets the psycho eyes going but here’s Punk to make her all smiley. He says that just because Vickie says excuse me doesn’t mean we have to. There is no excuse for Vickie because every week she comes out here and talks about Dolph Ziggler but he never comes through. If he’s the voice of the voiceless, Vickie is the voice of the pointless.

Ziggler is about to offer a rebuttal but here’s Bryan. AJ looks half scared and half angry. Bryan says Punk is a hero for having AJ make out with Kane on Monday and hiding behind him here tonight. He says AJ has Punk wrapped around her finger and she doesn’t realize it. AJ cost Bryan at Wrestlemania and if she’s in Punk’s corner on Sunday, it’ll mean Bryan wins the title.

Cue Sheamus because five people talking in this segment aren’t enough. Sheamus can’t believe Bryan still believes AJ cost him the title. He admits Ziggler had a great showing on Monday, but that means nothing on Sunday. Let’s do the tag match now. AJ charges at Vickie but Punk pulls her back. The match starts after a break.

Sheamus/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan

Bryan and Sheamus get us going and the speed attempt gets caught in a Regal Roll for two. Off to Punk who comes off the top with an elbow to the arm. Off to Ziggler and it’s time for more arm work. Sheamus works over the arm a bit and Punk hits a slingshot hilo on Dolph. A delayed vertical suplex gets two. Sheamus comes in and Ziggler literally runs to the corner for the tag.

Ziggler comes back in almost immediately and pounds Sheamus down. A knee drop gets two. Back to Bryan who walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back to Punk for the springboard clothesline and he goes to the apron. Ziggler distracts him and Bryan knocks him off the apron. That seems to be the same sequence they’ve used to change momentum in Smackdown tag matches for weeks now.

Bryan hits the running knee of the apron and we take a break. Back with Bryan missing a swan dive and it’s a double tag to bring in Ziggler vs. Sheamus. Irish Curse gets two as Bryan makes the save. Everything breaks down but Punk and Bryan go to the floor. Zig Zag is countered and Sheamus hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but the girls come in. Ziggler uses the distraction to get a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 8:43 shown of 12:13.

Rating: C. This was just a regular main event style tag match. The ending was certainly the right call as they had to give us a reason to think that Ziggler has a chance on Sunday. He doesn’t but it’s nice of them to try to give us a reason to think otherwise. Punk and Bryan were barely involved in this match, but they’re all set up already anyway.

Post match the girls get in a fight and Vickie rams her into the apron before running off. AJ’s back is hurt so Kane comes out to carry her away. Punk goes after him but gets a chokeslam for his efforts. Bryan gets the same. AJ is on her knees on the stage and looks all cuckoo eyed at Kane.

Here’s Brodus Clay for a match but before the match he talks about how he can’t go near Ace’s prized possession or he’s immediately fired. That’s ok though because John Cena is going to take care of the prized possession on Sunday. All he wants now is competition, which Ace has promised him.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Dang it and I was getting my hopes up for a second there. What a shock: something with Ace involved is a letdown. Splash finishes in 22 seconds.

Post match Brodus is about to dance when Otunga, the guy Clay is facing on the pre-show on Sunday, takes out Brodus’ knee. The leg work goes on for awhile.

Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is on commentary. Alicia takes her down to start but misses her flipping leg drop. Glam Slam ends this in 50 seconds. Yeah and this REALLY makes me want to see the Divas Title match Sunday.

John Cena says don’t try this.

Hornswoggle’s favorite Raw moment is the Muppets episode. I love the Muppets, but this is literally longer the previous two matches combined. When matches are relegated to getting 30 seconds each, maybe it’s time to cut down on stuff like this.

Now to waste more time, here’s Ace to show us a recap of the ending to Raw. As in the SAME THING WE SAW AN HOUR AGO! After wasting three minutes on that, Ace talks about how he’s put his job on the line more than once before and has always come out on top. He brings out Big Show who talks about how he can say and do whatever he wants here because he’ll get paid no matter what.

Back in WCW, he was never able to be pushed over the faces of the company like Hogan, Flair and Sting. Once he left there he came to WWF and everyone gave him advice. Vince’s advice was to put on a show, so he named him the Big Show. So for fourteen years (how is February of 1999 to June 2012 14 years? That’s bad math even for WWE) he did it Vince’s way. For 10 of those years, he cracked jokes and laughed. That statement actually made me close my eyes and shake my head from how wrong it was.

Show talks about how he’s proud to not be like Cena anymore and how he can do whatever he wants and doesn’t have to care about what the fans think. What he does to Cena will be calculated and uncomfortable. He’s looking at this sunday as his first match, where he will be victorious. He guarantees it. The two of them go to leave but Cole stops them. He says that he’s heard Cena is on his way here tonight (big pop). Show says if Cena is looking for him, he won’t be hard to find.

Christian comes out for his match so of course we have to look at a recap of his feud with Cody, as in an Over The Limit recap. The rematch is at No Way Out.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger pounds him into the corner but Christian gets a kick into the ribs to break up the momentum. They go to the floor and Swagger runs him over with a clothesline. Back in and Jack hits a legdrop for two. An attempt at a second misses and Christian takes over again. A spear misses but the ankle lock is countered. Jumping back elbow out of the corner puts Jack down and Christian goes up. Swagger tries to run the corner but gets shoved down and the Frog Splash gets the pin at 2:47.

Ryback vs. Ari Cohen/Mike Testa

The fresh meat tell a knock knock joke before the match. What are you expecting here? Double Samoan Drop ends this at 2:03. We get it already, now find him someone we’ve actually heard of.

Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd

This is a result of the latest JR trolling by the troll last week. Sandow went after him but Kidd made the save. Damien jumps him to start, Kidd gets some offense in, the Sharpshooter is countered and the neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:02 in ANOTHER FREAKING WORTHLESS MATCH!

We run down the PPV card.

Now we see Big Show’s talk from forty minutes ago.

Cena arrives and goes into Ace’s office but it’s empty.

Don’t be a bully, but buy our PPV with a pair of bullies in the main event.

Cena FINALLY shows up to fire up the show a bit. He talks about getting a phone call saying that Big Show called him out, so here he is. Wait so why have they been hyping up the idea of Cena calling out Big Show all night if Show apparently called him out? Whatever as this show is almost over. Cena says he’s not hard to find and the Big Show shouldn’t be either, so here’s Ace to waste more of our time.

Ace says that Show has been sent home to make sure the match takes place on Sunday, as well as so we could hype up Show and Cena face to face all night and then not deliver it. Cena says that puts Ace in the #1 spot on the to be knocked out list. Ace lists his job titles and says that if Cena touches him, he’s fired. Cena points out that the match has to take place on Sunday so Ace can’t fire him. John makes fun of him even more and gets ready to beat him up but Ace tells him that if he beats Ace up, then Cena will be fired. Cena blasts him in the head and says someone gets fired on Sunday to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show was the definition of a failure. There was NOTHING on here that was any good and nothing at all was added to the PPV. Someone gets fired in the main event. So we might get the Ace firing that we’ve been promised for weeks now or another Cena firing which we’ve seen how many times now? This was a total waste of my time and one of the worst TV shows I’ve seen in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2012
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Back to the blue guys again for another Smackdown. The only thing announced so far is that Del Rio and Sheamus will do something. Whatever that something is has yet to be announced but that might be for the better. The whole company is almost at a standstill at the moment but hopefully things pick up soon. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is people that won’t return e-mails.

Here’s Del Rio to open things up. He shows us a clip from Raw and his attack on Sheamus’ arm, because we haven’t had an arm injury angle in two full weeks now. After some basic threats of taking the title, here’s…..Ricardo dressed as Sheamus. He even has white leggings and arm covers to make himself look pale. Del Rio says this isn’t really Sheamus, because anyone can pound their chest like a caveman, spike their hair like a stupid kid and act like a hooligan. Ricardo tries a Brogue Kick and falls down.

Cue the real Sheamus who looks ticked off. Both guys jump him immediately but Sheamus throws Ricardo out with ease. Rodriguez comes back in and Del Rio kicks Sheamus in the head. He goes for the arm but Sheamus fights him off and clears the ring. They go to leave but Sheamus chases them down and runs them over. He tries to load up the High Cross off the stage but Ricardo makes the save. They go for the arm again but referees break it up. Teddy comes out and says that since Ace isn’t here, he’s in charge tonight. He makes Sheamus vs. Kane and Del Rio vs. this man.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Great Khali

Khali starts with the chops in the corner but misses a big boot in the corner, allowing Del Rio to go after his legs. He puts on a leg lock but Khali punches him in the head to escape. Why over complicate things I guess. A kick to the head of Khali gets two. After some more knee work, he switches to the arm for no apparent reason. Del Rio goes up but jumps into another chop to the chest. Ricardo distracts Khali to stop the Punjabi Plunge and the Cross Armbreaker gets the submission at 3:29.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than a near squash. Khali is fine for roles like this as he wasn’t in there long and his size alone makes beating him seem impressive. Del Rio isn’t interesting still, but at least with Ricardo out there we’ll get some decent comedy moments. The match was just ok.

We get the Big Show piece from Raw where he talks about being tired of being seen as a joke.

Teddy is in the back when Brodus’ girls and Brodus himself come in. Brodus is now officially on Smackdown permanently but can’t be on Raw because of Big Show. Ok then.

Brodus Clay vs. Derrick Bateman

Apparently Clay sees Big Show when he sees Bateman. Clay pounds Bateman down with ease and we head to the floor for the headbutt. Back in the ring there’s the splash and suplex. Splash and we’re done at 1:05.

Video on the Mexico/South America tour.

Booker’s favorite Raw moment is his match with Buff Bagwell for the WCW Title. Oh what a disaster that was.

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew immediately knocks him down but Cara comes back with his kicks. Drew gets in a shot and takes over, sending Cara to the floor for a second. Back in and it’s a chinlock for a big but Cara comes back with some ranas. A BIG boot sends Cara flying, but Drew charges into two boots in the corner. Cara goes up and tries to jump into his finisher but Drew blocks it. Cara never hits the ground and comes out with a spinning DDT for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. Cara has looked WAY better since coming back. He’s not botching anything of note and he’s mixing up his finishing moves which is a nice touch. He’s beating up jobbers pretty easily which is a good sign also. That’s something the company has improved on in the last month or so: its use of jobbers for squashes.

Tony Andriotis/Kevin Mahoney vs. Ryback

Double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop, 1:43. Next.

The crew sets up the Peep Show set but Cody Rhodes comes out and breaks it up. He talks about how he was going to be the guest on the show tonight but Christian should be pandering to him instead of Cody pandering to the host. Cue Christian who says he’s the one that beat Cody, not the other way around. Cody wants to know who Christian thinks he’s fooling, because before then he didn’t care about any of the people.

Christian says he had a moment of clarity. He missed most of the year with an injury, and while he was out he inducted Edge into the Hall of Fame. While Edge was giving his speech, it occurred to Christian that a career can end in an instant. He didn’t want to be remembered a the guy that whined about wanting one more match all the time. He wanted to come back and win championships and put together a Hall of Fame career on his own. Cody laughs about Christian being in the Hall of Fame and says that at No Way Out, the title is coming home. Christian says shut up and wants a fight, but here’s Dolph Ziggler.

Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler

This should be good. So Christian was going to do the talk show and wrestle? That’s quite a night. Cody sits in on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler throwing Christian to the floor. Christian comes back quickly and rams Ziggler into the barricade. Dolph knees him down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock which Christian easily breaks.

Ziggler takes him right back down and hooks the same hold as Cody complains about not getting a fair shake at Over the Limit. A slingshot sends Christian into the corner but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb for two. Christian hits an uppercut while Ziggler is on the ropes but the spinning sunset flip is rolled through and the Fameasser gets two. Christian puts him back down but his spear is countered by a dropkick for two. There’s the sleeper but Christian counters quickly. He goes up and knocks a charging Ziggler down so that the Frog Splash can get the pin at 6:34 shown of 10:04.

Rating: C+. This was the match you would expect these two to have. Ziggler is basically a jobber to the stars at this point, which is pretty stupid given the lack of main event talent they have at the moment. With Jericho and Orton both suspended, Ziggler could be a solid fill-in guy, but instead they have him jobbing left and right. The good thing is they haven’t had him look weak in these losses, which will help him a lot in the long run.

We get the ENTIRE Cole vs. Cena segment from Raw.

Cole speaks about the incident but gets cut off by JR……being imitated by Hornswoggle. We get some slow motion replays of the beating and Horny laughs a lot. Thankfully Damien Sandow cuts this off to save us. He runs down Horny and goes after him but Tyson Kidd makes the save. He dropkicks Sandow to the floor and Sandow walks away. When Kidd turns to look at the leprechaun, Sandow comes back in and beats Kidd up, hitting his neckbreaker.

Kane only cares about winning the triple threat match tonight. AJ’s look means nothing to him. Kane walks away and AJ is watching him from behind some crates.

Jimmy Uso vs. Antonio Cesaro

Teddy has to do the entrances for Antonio and Aksana. Cesaro pounds him into the corner to start but Jimmy comes back with a superkick to the ribs. A headbutt gets two but Cesaro throws him into the air and down into the European Uppercut. The falling Cradle Piledriver gets the pin at 58 seconds.

Sheamus’ favorite Raw moment is the Breakthrough Battle Royal.

Sheamus vs. Kane

They fight over a lockup to start with neither guy getting an advantage. A shoulder puts Sheamus down so the champ goes after the arm. Kane throws him into the corner but Sheamus comes back with some punches. That gets him nowhere as Kane rams him into the corner and works on the bad arm. A brief comeback is stopped and Sheamus is thrown to the apron and booted to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane getting one off a move we didn’t see. Kane hooks a neck crank followed by a side slam for two. Back to the crank which is broken a bit slower this time. Sheamus comes back with some kicks to the ribs and hits the top rope shoulder to put Kane down. A running knee to the ribs and a double ax get two for Sheamus. Powerslam gets the same. Regal Roll is countered and Kane uppercuts him down.

The low dropkick gets two and Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse out of nowhere for the same. Sheamus is getting a little frustrated so he drops a bunch of knees on the back of Kane. Here comes the Brogue Kick but instead he opts for the ten forearms. A suplex back in is blocked and Kane goes for the clothesline. A superplex attempt is blocked but the clothesline misses. White Noise hits but Kane tries the chokeslam. Sheamus fights out of it and they clothesline each other, followed by Ricardo running in for the DQ at 9:34 shown of 13:04.

Rating: C. This was getting decent but it was clear they couldn’t have either guy go over leading up to PPV title matches. That being said, while the ending was predictable it doesn’t mean it was bad. It’s good that they don’t have either guy lose clean, but at the same time, why would Del Rio want to interfere here when Kane could do more damage to Sheamus?

Kane takes Sheamus down post match and here’s AJ to smile at Kane. The distraction lets Sheamus Brogue Kick Kane’s head off. Ricardo gets up and Sheamus does the same to him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and it did its job of furthering the main event match. We also got another match added to the PPV with the IC Title in it, as well as got some TV time for some of the new characters. Adding Brodus to Smackdown is probably a good idea as there’s only so much room for him on Raw at the moment. This wasn’t a great showbut it certainly wasn’t bad, which is pretty good anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WrestleWar 1991
Date: February 24, 1991
Location: Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Dusty Rhodes

I’m running out of WCW PPVs to do, but before I get done with them I still have one last WARGAMES to get through. Oh that makes me feel better. Tonight’s main event is in the double cage and we have Sting’s team vs. the Horsemen. Well three Horsemen and Larry Zbyszko who is subbing for an injured Arn Anderson. I would usually say what else is on the card, but screw that. This show has WarGames. Let’s get to it.

The arena looks much more modern, partially because it isn’t in half darkness as it had been for most of the 80s.

Tony runs down the card and throws it to our announcers.

Six Man Tag Titles: Junkyard Dog/Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Stage Patrol/Big Cat

Where do I even start? Ok so odds are you haven’t heard of these titles before, and there’s a good reason for that: they were only around for less than nine months. The titles were first won seven days before this show at a live event. Now one might ask why they didn’t have the first champions crowned here on PPV. It’s WCW in 1991. There’s your answer and it’ll answer most of your questions. The State Patrol is Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and Lt. James Earl Wright, who is most famous for being one half of the State Patrol. Big Cat is Mr. Hughes and he’s one of the challengers here.

Cat and Dog start things off. I think you can see JYD’s gut expanding from here. He hits Cat with some headbutts and it’s off to Morton and Wright. Morton speeds things up with armdrags and it’s off to Rich. Rich slams him down and hooks an armdrag followed by an armbar. Off to Parker who gets the exact same treatment. Back to Morton for some atomic drops and then back to the same armbar again.

The Dog comes back in to crank up the fat levels of this match. Big Cat comes in again and wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Morton to face the State Patrol on his own. The numbers catch up with him and it’s time for Morton to start selling. Parker drop toeholds him down and Cat hits an elbow for two. Dropkick gets two. Morton slugs back against Parker but gets powerslammed down for two.

The State Patrol keeps up the double teaming, hitting a bulldog for two. Back to Parker as I’m seeing why this team never went anywhere. Cat comes back in for a big old backbreaker for two. Parker misses a charge and there’s the hot tag to JYD. He hits the Thump (powerslam) but Cat makes the save. In a smart move, Morton immediately dives on Parker and gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Technically this was barely passable but what in the world was the point to this match? On second thought what was the point to these titles? The match wasn’t any good as it was in essence just a bad TV main event, which doesn’t exactly fire me up for the rest of the show. This was an odd choice all around.

Alexandra York and Terrance Taylor don’t have much to say.

Brad Armstrong vs. Bobby Eaton

We hear about Armstrong’s brother fighting Desert Storm, which would be Road Dogg. Eaton gets a good reaction and the fans chant for him on his way out. Bobby jumps him during the opening and takes over for a little bit. A flying headscissors and dropkick by Armstrong set up an armbar to slow things down. They get back up and a monkey flip sets up the same armbar by Brad.

Bobby gets back up and we head out to the floor. That goes nowhere so let’s hit that armbar again. Off to a test of strength with Bobby taking over. Brad climbs up Eaton and goes to the corner for a spinning crossbody….and back into the armbar. Eaton finally gets tired of it and pops Brad in the face, but his slingshot suplex is countered into a regular suplex by Armstrong for two.

We hit the fifth armbar in five minutes as we see Jason Hervey here again. A backbreaker puts Armstrong down and he drops an elbow to the face. We hit the chinlock and Great Muta is here watching as well. Eaton hits a slingshot backbreaker for two. Off to a modified camel clutch to keep the pressure on Armstrong’s back. Back up and Armstrong tries to hit the ropes but Eaton elbows him in the face and out to the floor.

After a beating on the floor we head back into the ring for an abdominal stretch. Eaton holds the ropes because that’s just the kind of a guy he is. Anderson dives through Armstrong’s legs to see the cheating in a nice touch. Eaton misses a charge in the corner and Brad hits that perfect dropkick to take over. Bobby grabs a ducked head and hits a neckbreaker followed by the Alabama Jam (top rope legdrop) for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as bad as the opener but it wasn’t that great either. Eaton would get a decent run as an upper midcard heel before turning into a jobber to the stars for most of the 90s. He was still popular after being part of the Midnight Express so it was good to see WCW capitalizing on that here. Also as usual, get Brad Armstrong if you need someone to look good, which is what Eaton would become later on.

Itsuki Yamazaki/Mami Kitamura vs. Miss A/Miki Handa

Itsuki was one of the Jumping Bomb Angels and Miss A is one of those chicks that Meltzer has given a bunch of 5 star matches too and that no one else has ever actually seen for the most part. This is something WCW did at times: bring in a bunch of female Japanese girls that were indeed different and good, but that no one really cared about. I think that’s Kitamura and Handa starting things off but JR isn’t exactly helpful here. You can imagine what Dusty sounds like.

Miss A’s team jumps the others which is a good idea as she’s pretty much a monster, standing nearly 6’0 and weighing about 200lbs. In other words, imagine Daniel Bryan against three AJ’s. Itsuki tries to speed things up but all of her work is lost when it’s off to Mami who takes some HARD kicks from A. Mami stays in for a bit, only to have her legs beaten half to death.

Back to Itsuki who is having FAR more luck out there over her partner. The match keeps going as Dusty wants to hook JR up with Miss A. Ok then. Handa, the much smaller member of her team, gets a few rollups for two until it’s back to Itsuki. A comes back in and it’s time to kick. A throws Itsuki around for awhile and then double teams with Handa. Itsuki comes back with a missile dropkick to both (barely) evil ones and Mami hits a top rope clothesline on Miss A. A comes back with a clothesline of her own but gets rolled up out of nowhere for the pin by Itsuki.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad or anything and was even good at times, but as usual with PPVs from this era: the match doesn’t really mean anything. It exists because the NJPW/WCW Super Show is coming up, but other than that there’s no real reason for it. It ate up about eight minutes though so I guess it has that going for it. I don’t know any of these women though so I can’t really care that much about the match, which was fine.

Missy Hyatt runs her mouth and says she’s going to go find someone to interview. Seriously why did she have a job for so long?

Buddy Landel vs. Dustin Rhodes

This might be Dustin’s WCW debut. Dustin pounds on Buddy, who is way shorter than the future golden one. Landel tries to chop away but Dustin spins him into the corner and fires away punches and elbows (think of who his daddy is) on the middle rope. Off to the armbar and then Landel gets knocked down into the corner. Dusty talks about dogs for some reason and Dustin charges shoulder first into the post.

Landel takes over off the miss and pounds away with his wide array of stomps. A forearm to the head gets two. He puts on an armbar and pounds away at the head. They seem to mess up an Irish whip and Buddy hooks a sleeper. Dustin counters into one of his own which is quickly broken. Buddy charges into a boot and gets caught in a baboon (not high enough for a gorilla) press slam. Bulldog gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was nothing to see as Dustin was still really young and not very good at all yet. He would get a lot better, but sweet goodness his early stuff was hard to sit through. The problem he had was that he wasn’t anything but Dusty’s son for about a year before he started to come into his own. This was a pretty bad match but Dustin was only twenty one at this point so he probably wasn’t ready for this kind of spot yet.

Missy tries to go into the men’s dressing room and finds Stan Hansen. I seem to remember her doing this at a bunch of PPVs. Hansen throws her out.

Young Pistols vs. Royal Family

The Family is Rip Morgan and Jack Victory and are allegedly both from New Zealand. They jump the Pistols to start but the Pistols counter a double Irish whip. The Family easily takes their heads off with clotheslines in a nice counter. With Smothers getting double teamed, Armstrong gets to the top for a double cross body to give the Pistols a breather. The Pistols hit a pair of dropkicks….and the lights go out. It’s WCW after all.

Thankfully they put the spotlights on, but unfortunately it means we have to see more of the match. Morgan and Smothers officially start things off and it’s time for the armbars. You see this a lot in matches from the late 80s and early 90s and I’ve never quite gotten why. Were there NO other options for rest holds to pick from? They’re also annoying because there’s nothing to talk about during the holds. It’s one guy holding another guy’s arm, then the other guy grabs the first guy’s in the same hold.

So after a few minutes of that, we get the lights back. Thanks for that guys. Off to Armstrong for some dropkicks before Victory gets the tag. Hey look: ARMBARS! Now it’s a headlock just for a change of pace. Smothers comes in off a blind tag and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two. Time for another armbar, but this time there’s a twist. Literally, as in Smothers twists the arm during the hold.

It’s back to Armstrong and the Royal Family finally gets some offense in. They take over with what limited power they have and wear down Armstrong on the mat. A double shoulder block gets two for Morgan. I never quite got the appeal of Victory. He won rookie of the year in I think 1985 and then never did anything but wear masks to fight on Clashes of the Champions.

There’s another basic double team move, this time a double clothesline for two. I can pretty easily see why the Royal Family never quite reached the Steiners’ level of tag team capabilities. We FINALLY get the tag to Smothers who cleans a few rooms of the house, but the fans flat out do not care. The Family tries another double suplex on Smothers but Armstrong dropkicks Morgan, allowing Smothers to fall on top of him for the pin to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D-. Sweet merciful goodness this was dull. This is the problem you’ll often see on these PPVs: these matches are here to just fill in time because most of the wrestlers don’t have a ton of stories backing them up. It also doesn’t help that the eight people with the top stories are in the same match at the end of the show. Either way though, this match was really boring and likely would have been with or without a good story backing it up.

DDP, the Freebirds’ new manager, says the Birds have a title match tonight because he tricked Teddy Long. Long comes out and is surprised by this, and swears that Doom is still a unit.

Z-Man vs. Terrance Taylor

Taylor is part of the York Foundation which is kind of a business organization type of heel stable. It was just starting at this point and would eventually get going in a few more months. This is No DQ after three previous matches didn’t have a clean ending. The idea here is that Alexandra York (Terri) has a computer that gives Terry a perfect plan for the match. They start with some basic stuff and Terry bails to York for instructions. They try it again and Terry gets punched in the face again.

After more talking with York it’s time for another punch from Z-Man and it’s down to the mat. Zenk drills him again and it’s time to talk to the computer. They slug it out and Zenk sends him into the ropes for a backdrop for two. Time for the headlock again as this match keeps starting and stopping which is what gets annoying about a lot of matches.

The headlock stays on even after Z-Man runs up the corner for a headlock takeover. A belly to back finally breaks the hold and Nikita Koloff is in the audience. Out to the floor and Taylor rams him into the barricade and chokes away a bit with a camera cord. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a camel clutch and let’s look at Hiro Matsuda in the crowd. Ok then.

Zenk comes back with a clothesline over the top which is fine because it’s a No DQ match, even though a clothesline over the top has been perfectly legal in every other match ever in WCW. They head to the floor again and Z-Man gets sent into the barricade. Z-Man comes back with a neckbreaker and superkick for two. This is before Shawn popularized the move so it looked a bit more exciting back then. An enziguri puts Taylor down for two but as Z-Man comes off the top with the cross body, York distracts the referee. Zenk yells at him long enough to get rolled up with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t get better until after they got done with the stupid computer nonsense. These feuds went on for a long time and eventually the Foundation grew into a cool and complex four way feud which almost got over huge but various things screwed it up. Decent stuff here though.

It’s time for the Danger Zone and Dangerously comes out dressed in stereotypical Mexican attire, including the huge sombrero. He says that he’s actually an undercover agent for the immigration offices and everyone here is under arrest. He brings out El Gigante and taunts him like a bull. Dangerously tries to get the giant to teach him English insults. Gigante says he doesn’t speak English so Dangerously throws the sombrero into his face, getting beaten up as a result. This was stupid but funny in an evil kind of way.

Matsuda and Muta talk about the NJPW show. This show is basically just a commercial for that show.

Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader

This is a rematch of a match from Tokyo that was thrown out. They immediately start on the ramp and it’s a big brawl. Vader takes him down but Hansen hits a short range lariat. Back into the ring and Vader hits one of his own to take over. Vader hits a corner splash and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Out to the floor and Vader takes him down again with more punches.

In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.

Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.

They fight to the back of course.

US Title: Dan Spivey vs. Lex Luger

The winner will be presented with a new US Title. Luger is defending of course. Lex is all fired up here, running Spivey over with a bunch of clotheslines and shoulder blocks. Lex blocks an atomic drop and hits a belly to back suplex for two. He misses a charge though and crashes into the other ring. Spivey suplexes him back into the ring and hits a tombstone for two.

After a neckbreaker it’s off to a chinlock followed by a DDT for two. After a clothesline, Spivey misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two. Of all things Spivey goes up top and drops a spinning elbow for two. Spivey chokes away with his legs and Luger is in trouble. This is a surprisingly good match. Big boot gets two. Spivey tries another piledriver but Lex escapes and gets all fired up. Lex punches him out of the corner but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two.

Back to the chinlock for a bit but once they’re back up, Spivey charges at Lex and is slammed onto the top rope and out to the floor, which isn’t a DQ because of whatever reason they have this time. A middle rope clothesline puts Spivey down but Luger’s sunset flip is countered by a left hand. They clothesline each other and slug it out before colliding to put both guys down again. Luger gets up first and goes up top but Spivey slams him down, only to have Luger hold on and small package him off the top for the pin. You could argue that’s because he had so much experience slamming Flair off the top actually.

Rating: B+. This was a huge surprise here as both guys were hitting on all cylinders. The ending was great and a move that I’ve never seen before. Luger would turn heel very soon and win the title in the summer at a show I’m sure we’ll get to later. Spivey would have a total of zero other great matches. This was really good though.

Luger goes to get the new title but Koloff hits him with the belt. He says he wants the world title but had to prove his worth first.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

There’s a fan here who won some sweepstakes who says his favorite team is Doom. JR: “Well I don’t think they’re going to be a team much longer.” That was hilarious for some reason.

We see a clip from last night with Pillman’s neck being injured. Remember that, because it becomes important later.

Quick recap of the rules of WarGames: each team has four people. One person from each team will start and they fight for five minutes. After those five minutes, there’s a coin toss which the heels will win. The heels then get to send in a man for a two minute advantage. After those two minutes, the good team gets to send in its second man to even things up for two minutes. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in and it’s first submission only to win.

WarGames

Sting, Brian Pillman, Steiner Brothers

Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Sid Vicious, Larry Zbyszko

A very taped up Pillman goes into the ring first, sneaking behind his huddling partners. He starts with Windham and fires away with clotheslines and dropkicks. Pillman goes to the middle rope and head fakes him out to hit a dropkick. Remember that the match cannot end until all eight are in, making the match a minimum of seventeen minutes. A low blow slows Windham down as Pillman is all fired up.

Barry is busted open after being raked into the cage. Another big clothesline has Windham in trouble. They go into the other ring (it’s two rings side by side with a huge cage over them both) and Barry is reeling. A spinwheel kick puts Windham down and Pillman works on the leg with less than a minute to go. A middle rope punch puts Barry down and the Horsemen win the toss, sending in Flair.

Pillman and Flair chop it out in the corner. I’m 90% sure they had a title match once and dang I’d love to see it. Flair is world champion here I believe. Pillman fights off the Horsemen as long as he can but gets his shoulder rammed into the cage. That’s the worst part of his injuries so Pillman is in big trouble. They go back to the original ring and Sting goes in next.

Both Horsemen are there to meet him but Sting kills them both with clotheslines. The fans are WAY into this too. A bulldog puts Windham down and the pairings switch off. Another bulldog puts Naitch down as they’re all in the same ring again. Flair’s chops still don’t work on Sting. Stinger Splash hits Flair and Larry Z is in to make it 3-2 for two minutes. Sting dives over both sets of ropes to take Larry down.

Pillman has a figure four on Barry and Flair is apparently cool with letting him be in the hold. Finally they kick Pillman in the shoulder to break it up. Rick Steiner comes in to even things up and it’s Steiner Lines all around. He rakes Flair’s face across the cage to bust him open too as this is breaking down, in a good way. Pillman is in the Tree of Woe and Sting is busted too.

Sid comes in as the final member of the team and the pain begins. He holds Steiner for a low blow from Flair but Pillman makes the save. Larry Z of all people cleans house but Rick pounds him down. Scott comes in to even things up and now it’s first submission to win. We get the WORST camera shot ever as the camera looks at Sid and Rick as they’re openly calling spots. That was like a blooper or something.

Scorpion on Flair as Scott beats on Larry’s shoulder. Sid rams the shoulder of Pillman into the corner a bunch of times and the tape comes off. In an awesome looking visual, all of the Horsemen and Larry are put in Figure Fours at the same time. Every evil guy is in trouble except Sid who even Sting can’t get off his feet. The Steiners FINALLY put him down but Barry and Sid double team both of them.

Flair and Pillman lay some of the hardest chops you’ll ever hear into each other. Now we get to the famous part of the match as Sid grabs Pillman and tries to powerbomb him. Remembering that Sid is 6’9 and the cage roof is barely over 7’0 tall, Sid can’t get him up all the way so Pillman’s feet hit the top of the cage. This makes Sid DROP PILLMAN ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, legitimately knocking him unconscious. Sid, the nice guy that he is, powerbombs Pillman AGAIN. El Gigante is brought out to submit for Pillman who isn’t moving at all. The first powerbomb legitimately made me cringe.

Rating: A. The match is great and you absolutely can’t fault them for ending the match when they did. That was one of the scariest looking botches I’ve ever seen and Pillman is lucky to not have a broken neck. The match isn’t quite as good as the bloodbath that would happen the next year, but this is certainly awesome and is totally worth checking out. This is the mother of all gimmick matches for a reason and this is a forgotten entry in the series.

We look at the US Title attack earlier on, presumably to fill in time due to the match being stopped early.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual with shows from this era, if you cut out the stuff that was cut out on the home video version, the show is much better. Still though, with two great on here, it’s certainly an awesome show. Sting was on fire at this point and it was hard to not like whatever he was doing. Things would go into a BAD funk a few months after this though, with Sting feuding with Nikita Koloff and Flair going to the WWF in about three months, but we’ll get to that later. Good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1992
Date: October 25, 1992
Location: Philadelphia Civic Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Tonight is about Spinning the Wheel and therefore making the deal. The main event is Jake Roberts vs. Sting in a feud that I’m not sure anyone ever quite got. The idea is that you have 12 gimmicks on a wheel and whatever it lands on is the stipulation. In other words, it’s Raw Roulette. Other than that we have Ron Simmons defending against The Barbarian of all people. It was an odd time to say the least. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has the usual haunted house theme.

Tony and Bruno Sammartino do some hosting/analysis stuff.

The twelve matches on the wheel are:

Texas Bull Rope

Spinner’s Choice

Russian Chain

Dog Collar

I Quit

Barbed Wire

Cage

Lumberjack With Belts

Prince Of Darkness

Texas Death

Coal Miner’s Glove

First Blood

We get a video of Cactus Jack training Barbarian for the powerslam. That’s different.

Terry Gordy isn’t here so Steve Austin is teaming with Steve Williams in the tag title match.

Rick Rude has to wrestle twice tonight. Missy Hyatt says nothing of note about that but says she’ll vote for Jesse Ventura for president. Ok then.

Z-Man/Johnny Gunn/Shane Douglas vs. Arn Anderson/Michael Hayes/Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Gunn is more famous as Tom Brandi. So we have three guys who are young and muscular vs. a heat machine and two wrestling masters. We’re in Philadelphia. You can fill in the blanks yourselves. Gunn and Anderson start things off with Anderson pounding him into the corner. Gunn comes back with a bad dropkick and Z-Man hits one of his own. The good guys clear the ring and get booed out of the building.

Z-Man comes in legally and cranks on Arn’s arm until Bobby comes in to take over. Eaton pops him with a right hand and the place ERUPTS. Off to Hayes who gets cheered too because he’s the king of playing to a crowd. Shane comes in to work on Michael’s arm and is booed in the process, which isn’t something you would ever expect to see in Philly. Back to Eaton who is armdragged down immediately.

Eaton takes Shane into the corner and pops him with a right hand too, but he gets promptly taken down by a flying headscissors. Back to Z-Man who these people just hate. He hooks a leg bar as Jesse rants about Shane probably being a right wing Republican. Z-Man hooks a sleeper on Anderson but it’s quickly countered. Back to Hayes who pounds away and hooks a chinlock on Zenk. Eaton comes in but leaves quickly with a blind tag to Arn.

Anderson KILLS Z-Man with a clothesline and the place erupts again. Even Jesse is stunned by this and he doesn’t stun easily. Hayes hooks a rear chinlock but Zenk slams him into the mat to escape. Double tag brings in Shane vs. Anderson but Eaton cheap shots Douglas in the knee to stop the comeback, again getting a pop from the audience. Eaton drops a top rope knee drop onto the knee and hooks a Figure Four (with help from Hayes of course). Shane turns it over and atomic drops Anderson, but they hit heads. Hot tag to Gunn and everything breaks down with Gunn hitting a Thesz Press to pin Hayes. The booing is great.

Rating: C+. If this has been ANYWHERE other than Philadelphia, this would have been an excellent opener. I can’t say the fans turned on the good guys because they were never on their side in the first place. You had to know this was coming if you knew anything about the city, but the match itself was fine. Jesse’s reactions to the crowd were entertaining too as he sounded genuinely surprised.

Harley Race says Missy Hyatt can’t talk to Rick Rude. Smart man. Race isn’t supposed to be here apparently.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Brian Pillman

This should be awesome. Pillman is a heel here and would hook up with Steve Austin soon. The fans have no problem cheering for Steamboat so the crowd is back to normal. Steamboat chops him to start and hits a shoulder for two. Pillman throws him over the ropes but that doesn’t work on the Dragon. Steamboat plays possum and rams Pillman’s face into the mat to take over. Dragon busts out the armdrag/bar combination and takes over.

Pillman gets backdropped and slammed a few times, so he pokes Steamboat in the eyes to take over. See? Being evil does pay off. Steamboat is like screw this getting beaten up and chokes Pillman over his head. Brian blasts him in the back of the head when Steamboat has his back turned to take over. The headscissors gets two for Pillman and he chokes away a bit on the ropes. The Dragon blocks a superplex but jumps into a dropkick for two.

Pillman is getting frustrated because he can’t put Steamboat down so Ricky hits a Russian legsweep to put both guys down. There’s a sleeper and the Dragon is in trouble. Steamboat falls into the corner to ram Brian’s head into the buckle to escape. Pillman starts running but he catches Steamboat coming back in with a knee lift. A cross body off the middle rope gets two for Pillman. Steamboat goes up and hits a top rope sunset flip for two. Pillman counters but Steamboat counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: B. This is what you call a fast paced wrestling match between a talented face and a talented heel. To put it short, the idea worked. They worked very well together as you would expect them too, with both guys looking crisp the whole way through and the crowd reacting well to it. Good stuff here indeed.

Masahiro Chono, the NWA World Champion, selects Kensuke Sasaki as his guest referee. Harley Race will be the other one. Wait so why was it surprising to see him earlier?

Bill Watts has some announcements. Terry Gordy has been fired for breech of contract and Steve Austin will be replacing him in the tag title match tonight. Also Rick Rude has whined too much so Vader will substitute for him in the US Title defense.

US Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Vader

Rude is the actual champion but Vader is subbing for him. This is No DQ. Rude comes out too but doesn’t stick around. Race gets thrown out too. Vader hits him in the face and Koloff doesn’t really move. They slug it out a lot and Vader splashes him to take over. A HARD clothesline takes Koloff down as does a headbutt. Koloff is sent to the floor but comes back with some power offense of his own. He hits a crossbody to the back for two which is a move I’ve never seen before.

Off to a chinlock which goes on for a good while. JR talks about a thirty minute time limit and I can’t help but chuckle. Can you imagine these two going half an hour against each other? Vader finally breaks it but gets cradled for two. Koloff hits another cross body of all things for two. He’s not the kind of guy I would expect to use that but he’s the speed guy in this when you think about it.

Vader rolls to the floor to stall and then does it a few more times. Koloff finally has enough and goes out after him, but the Sickle hits the post and Nikita is in trouble. Back in and Vader goes into mauling mode, running over Koloff and sending him to the floor. There’s a HARD chair shot (remember that it’s no DQ) and we go back in where the powerbomb retains the title for Rude.

Rating: D. You know considering this was No DQ, there was a total of one thing that would fit that gimmick. They flew through this and I can see why they clipped it on the VHS. The full version was about three times as long and it wasn’t anything better. Koloff more or less disappeared after this.

Steve Williams is glad to have Austin as his new partner.

Tag Titles: Steve Williams/Steve Austin vs. Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes

Windham and Rhodes are defending here. This is actually the Unified Tag Titles but who cares about stuff like that? This was supposed to be the rubber match with Barry/Dustin vs. the MVC but Gordy is gone. Austin is in purple here which is a weird thing to see. Williams (as in the person using his real name unlike Austin whose last name is also Williams) starts with Dustin and it’s time to talk about football.

Appropriately enough they get down in three point stances and collide but the second time Williams suckers him into a clothesline to take over. Dustin clotheslines him down as well before hooking on a wristlock. Off to Barry who is having problems with his partner at this point. It’s power vs. speed here with the speed of Windham taking over in the form of an armbar. Williams armdrags him right into the corner of Rhodes and there’s a tag.

They fight over a wristlock with neither guy being able to take over for the most part. The fans chant for Flair (I think) and it’s off to Austin, who hits a dropkick to take over on the incoming Windham. While in purple. Imagine that one. Austin gets caught between the champions like a pinball and is knocked to the floor. Back in and Dustin hooks a headlock on the mat.

Jesse talks about his time in the East West Connection and how he and Adonis didn’t get along outside the ring but they did in the ring. See, back in the day wrestlers who became commentators actually TALKED ABOUT THEIR CAREERS and used those stories to make points about the matches they’re commentating on. It’s not that hard. Austin works on the leg but it doesn’t do that well.

Rhodes charges into a boot but he comes right back with a lariat to take over and get two. Windham comes in with another clothesline for another two and the same off a suplex. Back to Doc who is taken down immediately. They slug it out but Windham misses a charge and lands on the floor. Back to the future Rattlesnake as the challengers take over. Suplex gets two.

Williams comes back in and charges into a quickly broken sleeper. He ties Barry up on the floor in a hold and brings in Austin. Austin works on the arm with a hammerlock slam and it’s back to Dr. Death. Powerslam gets two as JR sounds like he wants to marry Williams. This is nothing new but it’s a bit more pronounced here. Williams breaks a chinlock with a jawbreaker but Williams brings Austin in to prevent the tag.

Barry breaks up a superplex and hits a middle rope lariat for two. Hot tag to Dustin and he cleans house with rapid fire elbows to the head. Bulldog takes Austin down but Williams makes the save. Dustin’s rush of offense is stopped cold and the challengers take over again. A corner splash puts him down again and there’s a Boston Crab. That gets followed by a body vice from Austin but even an interfering Windham can’t break it.

Dustin uses the ropes to get free and we get the always cool back bridge into the backslide for two. Dustin tries to come back against Williams but Dr. Death just casually takes him down with an amateur move. Austin and Rhodes slug it out and the future bald one takes over. Big shock right? Rhodes is busted and Williams goes after it like a maniac. That’s another fitting action for him.

Off to a chinlock from Austin which is one of the first rest holds of the match so far. An elbow misses though and Rhodes gets a small package for two. Williams hooks a chinlock as we have five minutes left. Austin drops a double ax with four to go. He hooks a half crab which is kind of stupid at this point. Dustin gets taken down again at three minutes left but the challengers don’t seem all that interested in going for the kill. Windham gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it.

There goes the referee and it’s time for a replacement. Williams hits a clothesline for the pin on Windham out of nowhere….but he’s not legal so it’s a Dusty Finish. Dustin pins Williams but he’s not legal either. There’s the lariat to Austin for two. Everything breaks down and we have a minute left. Dustin tombstones Austin with 30 seconds to go but both guys are down. Time runs out with them all standing around which is odd but the rest of it was awesome so I’m cool with it.

Rating: B+. I really liked that ending sequence with the false finish because it was the right call from a rules standpoint. The rest of it was really good as it was an extended formula tag match from four guys who were all very talented. This worked quite well and thankfully the MVC was gone forever. Williams and Rhodes would lose the titles to Steamboat and Douglas less than a month after this.

We go to Vader/Race/Dangerously with Paul taking credit for all of the success tonight. He takes credit for everything until Madusa shows up. She thanks everyone but Dangerously for winning the world title (which I guess is coming later). Dangerously goes OFF on her, talking about how HE is the one that did everything and it’s because he’s a man.

Madusa is just a woman and there is beneath him and subservient. She’s been there to take care of Rude’s needs but she was only hired for that because the other hooker was busy. He fires her from the Alliance and jumps in the air, so she hits a high kick to the face and DESTROYS HIM as even Vader and Race run away. The place ERUPTS and Jesse is freaking out. This was awesome in so many ways.

Sting comes out to spin the wheel and it lands on a Coal Miner’s Glove match. Why? My guess would be a gas leak in the WCW offices. This is one of those moments in WCW where you just shake your head and facepalm, because that is probably the worst possible choice they could have made. Somehow this took four minutes.

NWA World Title: Rick Rude vs. Masahiro Chono

Harley Race and Kensuke Sasake are guest referees here. Now these two had a masterpiece in Japan in a tournament final where Chono won the title, so this has potential. If you know anything about WCW in 1992, you should know what that means. Madusa comes out with Rude, making him the face after that previous segment. Oh and Chono is defending here. Race, Rude’s selection, will be refereeing inside the ring. That took about three minutes to decide.

This match serves as another great example of what was wrong with the NWA. Chono is a great wrestler. I don’t think anyone that knows what they’re talking about is going to dispute that. Chono is 29 here and in the prime of his career. That being said, I’d be surprised if more than 3% of the audience watching this show knew who he was. From what I can find, this is his first televised singles match EVER in WCW. I mean, the match had been hyped on TV and all that, but the fans are just supposed to buy into this guy as the world champion without EVER seeing him wrestle? That’s never going to work.

The fans want Flair before we get going. Rude talks trash….in English. Jesse: “He’s from Minnesota. All Minnesotans speak Japanese as a second language.” Feeling out process to start and they fight over a hammerlock. Chono takes him to the mat and the rest holds begin. The first one is an armbar which eats up a minute or so. Rude comes back with a slam and some elbows for two.

Chono gets up and slams Rude down and we hit an armbar. And then we stay in the armbar. There has to be something going on behind the scenes here. I mean think about it: how can these guys go from having a classic (and it was a classic) to being this BORING? Clearly they know how to have an exciting match and they work pretty well together, but this is just LONG stretches of them laying on the mat in a hold that isn’t going to get a submission and that bores the audience to death.

Now Rude comes back and hits some right hands, which are the most interesting part of the match so far. Jesse says Rude is shaved so he could drop weight. Ventura is trying but man alive there’s only so much he can do. We hit the chinlock as things slow right back down. Chono comes back and takes Rude right to the mat for an STF (finisher) attempt, but Rude blocks. Instead Chono just uses the leg part and things get boring again. Imagine Cena prepping for the STF for two minutes. See how the fans could get bored REALLY fast?

We’re fifteen minutes into this. Read back through the description. Does that sound like fifteen minutes worth of action? Rude piledrives him but Chono gets a foot on the ropes. Rude, likely out of boredom, fires off some more fight and WE HIT THE CHINLOCK AGAIN. JR is so bored that he’s talking about Rude’s arm wrestling career. If that chinlock isn’t your cup of tea, here’s a sleeper instead.

At least in this one the fans (including Hat Guy in the front row) are looking at a fight in the stands so they’re not missing anything. This would be opposed to the rest of the match when the fans aren’t missing anything while looking at the match. We hit twenty minutes as Jesse talks about Ben Franklin winning the world title against Thomas Jefferson back in 1796 in a 2/3 falls match. Rude shifts to a headlock but misses a top rope dropkick. Chono accidentally charges into Race and knocks him to the floor. He sends Rude into the corner where Rude lands on both referees…..and that’s a DQ. Rude hits the Awakening but it doesn’t count.

Rating: T. As in THIS is why the NWA died around this time. We had a boring match with a guy that no one cared about with a bogus ending. Why am I supposed to care about this match? Neither guy was impressive at all and the match brought down what had been a good show so far. Just awful here.

Post match there’s an argument over who wins by DQ. Sasaki beats up Race.

We look at Cactus Jack training Barbarian for the world title match. This would consist of having Barbarian on all fours with cinder blocks on his back. Jack breaks them with a sledgehammer. This is in the montage used on Are You Serious.

WCW World Title: Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons

Yeah it’s THAT Barbarian. See, for some reason WCW decided that the big names should go after the NWA Title while the WCW Title was treated like a midcard title. Simmons has a HUGE entourage bringing him to the ring. Barbarian is a Jack surrogate as Cactus is injured. They stare each other down forever and feel each other out before Barbarian pounds him down in the corner. Simmons comes back and Barbarian bails to the floor.

Barbarian gets a Stunner over the top rope to take over again and sends Ron to the floor. No one cares about this match at all and I can almost guarantee they’re not going to get the fans to care based on how good (and I use that word loosely) the match will be. Barbarian rams him into the post and then into the railing as this is already dragging less than five minutes in.

Back in and Ron hits the absolute worst sunset flip of all time for two. Barbie hooks a LONG cobra clutch which looks more like an armpit claw but whatever. A top rope elbow misses and Simmons gets a chance to breathe. They slug it out but Simmons channels the power of football to hit a bad spinebuster for two. Simmons misses a clothesline but Barbarian sells it anyway.

There’s a three point shoulder block but Jack has the referee. Barbarian kicks him in the back of the head and sends him to the floor as a result. Back in and Simmons is nice enough to roll three feet to the left so that the top rope headbutt can hit. Once that gets two, Barbarian’s chances are done. Simmons grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for the pin to retain.

Rating: F. The Barbarian just co-main evented a show. This was treated like a worthless match and to be fair, there was good reason to do that. It came off like a bad main event of a C level TV show, which goes a long way to explain the troubles this company was having around this time. Just awful here.

Sting, Bruno and Erik Watts talk about the match we just sat through.

Sting vs. Jake Roberts

Coal Miner’s Glove match, which means there’s a loaded glove on a pole. Jake uses some VERY generic rock music which would later be used by Big Bubba and had previously been used by Austin. This is non-sanctioned and Sting is just MAD over. The story here is Roberts jumped him and laid Sting out so this is revenge. Sting controls early as Roberts stalls. Sting misses a dropkick and Jake goes after the back.

They go to the floor and Jake’s arm goes into the post. Sting goes for the glove (which is about 12 feet above the ring) but Jake makes the save and hits a suplex. Jake sends him to the floor but his attempt at getting the glove results in him being crotched. Sting works on the injured arm for a bit and they head outside again. Jake hits him in the back with a chair and chokes with tape back in the ring.

This match really isn’t working either as they’re basically having a regular match, albeit very rushed. That doesn’t make me think this is a blood feud or all about revenge or anything close to it really. Jake misses a running knee lift but the Stinger Splash misses too. Jake uses the bad arm for the DDT but Sting comes as close to no selling as you can while still selling. Sting does a cool move where he swings around the pole to knock Jack down. Cactus runs out with Jake’s cobra as Sting gets the glove. Sting knocks the snake onto Jake’s face where it “bites” him, allowing Sting to get the win.

Rating: F. As I said, the glove meant nothing here as it had to be the dumbest possible gimmick they could have gone with. Jake would basically be gone after this and wouldn’t be seen in mainstream American wrestling again until 1996. This was absolutely awful though and the ending was so stupid that I can’t really believe I saw it. Keep this in mind when you’re at work: someone was paid to think of this idea.

To give you an idea of how REAL that bite is, Jake pulls the snake away, looks at it, and puts it right back to where it was “biting” him. That’s like something out of a parody of a bad horror movie. Jake is “poisoned”.

We get about four minutes of wrap up to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I’ve heard of shows going off a cliff before, but this went off a cliff, through the ground and landed in the ocean somewhere. The last three matches are just DREADFUL, combining to be almost an hour with the best match somehow being Simmons vs. Barbarian, which was long and dull. WCW in 1992 has a reputation and if you watch this show, you can see why. The tag match is really good and the Steamboat vs. Pillman match is solid, but other than that there’s NOTHING here other than more reasons to never think about WCW in 1992 after Beach Blast.

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