Daily News Update – December 8, 2023

Battle Of The Belts V
Date: January 6, 2023
Location: Portland Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Chris Jericho

We’re back with another of these shows that doesn’t feel like all that important to AEW. It’s another three match card and all of them have titles on the line. This includes a rematch from Dynamite, where the Acclaimed retained the Tag Team Titles over Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal. This time it’s No DQ though so let’s get to it.

We open with Darby Allin leaving the ring after his Rampage main event.

Tag Team Titles; Jay Lethal/Jeff Jarrett vs. Acclaimed

The Acclaimed is defending, No Holds Barred, and Satnam Singh/Sonjay Dutt/Billy Gunn are here too. The champs get jumped from behind before the bell and the fight is on fast. Lethal gets a Figure Four on Bowens on the ramp but it gets broken up rather quickly. We settle down to a regular tag match with Bowens grabbing a Blockbuster to take over.

Caster comes in, runs the ropes, drops to the floor and punches Singh in the face (no effect) as everything breaks down again. Jarrett saves Lethal from Scissor My Timbers, setting up a double strut as we take a break. Back with Bowens and Lethal slugging it out until Bowens blasts him with a clothesline. The double tag brings in Caster and Jarrett, with the former cleaning house. An Angle Slam drops Jarrett and, after pulling off the invisible straps, Caster grabs the ankle lock.

With that broken up, Singh takes out Caster, leaving Bowens to hit the running jumping Fameasser. The referee got bumped in there somewhere so it’s a second one sliding in to count the late two. Jarrett grabs the guitar but Gunn makes the save and blasts Singh with the guitar. A Stroke takes Gunn down but Jarrett walks into an AA from Caster.

Singh chokeslams both champs though and then does it to the referee as well. Dutt puts the referee shirt on (Jericho: “It even matches his black trousers!”) and counts two with Aubrey Edwards coming out to break it up. Then she breaks his pencil and shoves Dutt down, leaving Lethal to get caught with the Arrival and the Mic Drop to retain the titles at 10:53.

Rating: C. Well that was a lot. I’ve never quite gotten the concept of starting with rules and then breaking down into no rules but that’s a modern wrestling issue. What got me here was Edwards going after Dutt, as if ANYTHING he did would have mattered in the first place. That came off as a spectacle for the save of involving the referee in a match that was already way overloaded. Gunn’s guitar shot to Singh was good but that was about it for the decent weapons stuff. Total insanity here and I absolutely didn’t need to see these teams fight twice in three days.

Will Hobbs has the Book Of Hobbs with him, which includes everything that has happened to him. Now it’s going to happen to you.

Eddie Kingston and Ortiz aren’t sure what is going on with the House of Black but they’ll fight next week on Rampage.

TBS Title: Jade Cargill vs. Skye Blue

Jade, with Leila Grey, is defending. Blue goes right at her to start and snaps off a crucifix for two. After a quick breather on the floor, Jade comes back in and knocks her to the floor with a rather hard forearm. A chokeslam on the ramp plants Blue again but cue Red Velvet to stare Cargill down from the stage.

We take a break and come back with Blue snapping off a rather spinning headscissors. One heck of a pump kick drops Blue though and it’s Velvet coming down to check on her. Back in and Jaded is countered into a victory roll for two, followed by Code Blue for the same. Blue loads up a springboard hurricanrana but Jade catches her and spins it (after a few movements) into Jaded to retain at 9:13.

Rating: C+. They were working here and that finish was awesome. There is something really impressive about Cargill managing to manipulate a full sized human around like that into Jaded and she made it look easy. Blue was putting in the effort, but as I’ve said multiple times now: until they put Jade in there with some big name, there is little reason to believe the title is in serious jeopardy.

The Firm is ready for Junglehook (yes, combining names is very clever) on Dynamite.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Video on Ruby Soho/Willow Nightingale vs. Ruby Soho/Tay Melo in a street fight next week on Rampage.

All-Atlantic Title: Orange Cassidy vs. Kip Sabian

Sabian, with Penelope Ford, is challenging and Danhausen here is with Cassidy. They start fast with a more ticked off than usual Cassidy getting headlocked. That earns Sabian a bunch of right hands, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Cue the Bunny so Sabian can hide behind the women, which is enough of a distraction for a cheap shot on Cassidy.

Hold on though as Danhausen loads up the curse, only to have Sabian bite his finger. The distraction lets Cassidy hit the suicide dive, followed by the Stundog Millionaire back inside. They head back outside though, with Sabian hitting a hanging neckbreaker to the floor. We take a break and come back with Cassidy still in trouble, though he avoids the reverse Cannonball.

Cassidy knocks him off the top but Bunny grabs the leg. That’s enough for an ejection for both Bunny and Danhausen so here are Butcher and Blade to beat up Danhausen. Cassidy and Sabian slug it out, with Sabian trying his own lazy strikes. That wakes Cassidy up but Sabian knees him in the face for two.

Another hanging neckbreaker gets two on Cassidy so Sabian hits his own Orange Punch. Cassidy fights back up and the Beach Break gets two. The frustration makes Cassidy hammer away in the corner until he accidentally shoves the referee away. Sabian tries to go after him again but back to back Orange Punches finish to retain the title at 16:44.

Rating: B-. So Cassidy wins over Sabian, who isn’t exactly the most enthralling opponent. They did something with Sabian getting underneath Cassidy’s skin but that doesn’t really make up for a lot of Sabian’s flaws. I know he has been around since the beginning but I’ve still yet to have much of a reason to get interested in anything he does. Cassidy continues to own Friday night and that’s a good place for him as the fans still love everything he does.

Overall Rating: C+. That’s the latest Battle Of The Belts and while it was certainly entertaining enough, it still doesn’t feel important. That has been the biggest flaw of this series since it started and nothing about this changed it. AEW might be better off by having an expanded Rampage instead of one of these, as that’s pretty much what you got here. It was good on its own and combined with Rampage, this was a rather nice two hour Friday night show.

Results
Acclaimed b. Jeff Jarrett/Jay Lethal – Mic Drop to Lethal
Jade Cargill b. Skye Blue – Jaded
Orange Cassidy b. Kip Sabian – Orange Punch

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Rampage – January 6, 2023: I Had Fun

Rampage
Date: January 6, 2023
Location: Portland Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Chris Jericho

We are in for the first of two hours of AEW TV this week. That could mean quite a few things, but we do have a TNT Title match as new champion Darby Allin defends against Matt Taven. It’s a little weird to have a title match on the show right before a title made of nothing but title matches, but it should be good. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Top Flight vs. Jon Moxley/Bryan Danielson

The Club gets jumped from behind to start and it’s Darius dropkicking Moxley for a quick one. A standing moonsault gives Dante two but it’s off to Danielson to fire off the kicks in the corner. Moxley comes back in to hammer away before it’s a four way standoff. The double fights go to the floor, with Moxley and Danielson hitting running kicks against the barricade.

Back in and Danielson puts Dante in a surfboard, allowing him to rip at the face a bit. Moxley’s superplex into a cross armbreaker keeps Dante down as we take a break. Back with the Club kicking away at Dante but he manages to send them into each other. The hot tag brings in Darius to start cleaning house, including blocking Danielson’s kick to the chest. Danielson backflips over Darius but gets caught in the Spanish Fly for another double knockdown.

It’s back to Dante with a springboard flip dive for two more but Moxley pulls Dante into a keylock. Well at least the attempt of one as Dante slips out, earning himself some elbows to the face. A victory roll gives Dante two so Moxley King Kong lariats him for two of his own. Danielson comes back in with the running knee to Darius for two, followed by a discus forearm. The big kick to the head drops Darius again and Moxley dives off the top with an ax handle on Dante. Danielson stomps Darius in the head and the Regal Stretch finishes at 13:32.

Rating: B. That was a heck of a match and while I didn’t quite buy Top Flight as having a real chance, they hung in there through so many big shots that my eyes were popping open each time. They pulled me into this one really well and I had a great time with it. Top Flight needs to win something soon though because having a bunch of really good performances in losses only gets you so far.

Hangman Page is ready to hut Jon Moxley so badly that he’ll burn a copy of the fight onto a VHS so Moxley can watch it again. In his hand is a paper: his medical clearance to face Moxley next week. You knew that was coming.

Jamie Hayter/Britt Baker vs. Renegades

Baker and Hayter (with Rebel in their corner) jump the Renegades from behind to start and the beating is on fast. We settle down to Robyn dropkicking Hayter for two and handing it off to Charlotte. That’s fine with Hayter, who suplexes them both down and brings in Baker (the fans approve). Robyn gets forearmed against the ropes and Baker drops her again as we take a break.

Back with Robyn down in the corner but she enziguris her way to freedom. Charlotte comes in and gets taken down by Baker, meaning Robyn has to make a diving save. That earns Robyn a Hatebreaker and Charlotte gets n AA onto the knee. The sliding lariat into the Stomp from Baker is good for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: B-. The Renegades were trying here and it was a more entertaining match than I would have expected. Baker and Hayter got a nice boost going into their big match next week on Dynamite, though I’m still not sold on the idea of Saraya and Toni Storm teaming together. For now though, the Renegades tried hard here and came out of it a lot stronger than they went in.

The House Of Black talks about dealing with a man who never played by the rules. Now that man is asking why Malakai Black never played by the rules. The man is Eddie Kingston, and this isn’t the one that Black used to know. They’re here to help him. That’s the most coherent thing they’ve ever said.

Sonico vs. Preston Vance

Full nelson and a discus lariat finishes Sonico at 40 seconds.

Post match Vance rips off Sonico’s mask.

After Darby Allin won the TNT Title on Dynamite, Mike Bennett and the Kingdom came up to him with Bennett ranting about his own greatness. The challenge was issued for Rampage and the match is on.

Darby Allin and Mike Bennett are ready for the TNT Title match.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

TNT Title: Mike Bennett vs. Darby Allin

Bennett, with the rest of the Kingdom, is challenging. Allin sits in the corner to start before Bennett cranks on his arm. They head outside with Bennett sending him into the barricade but missing a charge, allowing Allin to run him over. We take a break and come back with Bennett hitting a Death Valley Driver for two and going for a Kimura. Allin can’t flip out of it but he can get a boot on the rope for the break instead.

They head outside with Allin taking over and putting him in a chair, setting up a top rope missile dropkick to knock him right back out. Back in and Maria gets on Bennett to protect him from the Coffin Drop. The distraction lets Matt Taven get in a kick to the head, meaning Bennett can hit a piledriver for two. A super piledriver is broken up and Allin hits a super Code Red, setting up the Coffin Drop to retain the title at 12:05.

Rating: B-. The crowd helped carry this one a lot further than it should have gone otherwise, as the Pacific northwest was going nuts for Allin. The good thing about someone like Bennett is that you can have him take a loss without losing any status. This was all about having Allin get a win after some adversity and it went very well.

Overall Rating: B+. Rather good show here, with a pair of solid matches, a squash, and a strong opener. I had a good time with this and while it might not have been exactly important, it was a show that gave you entertaining wrestling in front of a hot crowd. Sometimes just having fun is important and they made it work well here. Very solid effort this week.

Results
Bryan Danielson/Jon Moxley b. Top Flight – Regal Stretch to Darius
Britt Baker/Jamie Hayter b. Renegades – Stomp to Charlotte
Preston Vance b. Sonico – Discus lariat
Darby Allin b. Mike Bennett – Coffin Drop

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – January 6, 2023: It Should Have Been Bigger

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2023
Location: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

We are less than a month away from the Royal Rumble as we are officially in the new year. That means we should be in for some fun tonight and there is certainly a big main event. This week, the Usos will be defending the Tag Team Titles against Drew McIntyre/Sheamus in a match that was originally scheduled for last month. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The Bloodline opens things up by throwing chairs from the crowd as Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman come to the ring to join them. Reigns demands acknowledgment and seems to receive it but doesn’t seem happy. This week, we are going to hear from Sami Zayn, who says this year belongs to the Bloodline.

Zayn brags about the team winning its matches on Raw but that’s not what Reigns wants to talk about. He wants to talk about LAST YEAR when he and Zayn faced John Cena and Kevin Owens. Some people have said they lost, but Reigns doesn’t remember his shoulders being on the mat. Nah, Sami lost last week, so why did he call his shot? That’s what Reigns does, just like Babe Ruth.

Reigns thinks Sami might want to be the Tribal Chief. Why is Sami doing what Reigns does? Reigns starts screaming at Sami about wanting his job until Kevin Owens interrupts. Owens talks about how Reigns has a KO Problem and can’t get rid of him. Maybe he should deal with it in a title match at the Royal Rumble. Reigns: “Yeah sure whatever.” Reigns will give him the shot if Owens leaves forever after he loses. Owens seems to agree but the wording is a bit vague on if it’s title vs. career.

Earlier today, Kofi Kingston and Santos Escobar got into it backstage over Kofi’s Royal Rumble botch last year, meaning we’ve got something tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Santos Escobar

Xavier Woods and the rest of Legado del Fantasma are here too. Escobar gets in a shot to start and Kofi is rocked, allowing him to go up top. That’s fine with Kofi, who kicks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kofi in trouble but managing to fight his way back up. Woods offers a trombone distraction but Escobar is fine enough to kick Kofi in the head for two.

Kofi slips out of a fireman’s carry and gets two off the SOS. Kofi goes up but gets kneed out of the air for two, leaving them both needing a bit of a breather. The brawl starts on the floor though and the distraction lets Escobar hit a jumping superkick. The Phantom Driver finishes Kofi at 10:05.

Rating: C+. You had two talented wrestlers with a bit of time so of course this worked out fairly well. Kingston is the definition of bulletproof in WWE so having him put over a newcomer like Escobar is one of the smarter things to do. It wasn’t a classic but for ten minutes on Smackdown, this was quite easy to watch.

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns for the title is set for the Royal Rumble. No words on Owens leaving if he loses so that doesn’t sound like a stipulation.

Sami Zayn tries to talk to Roman Reigns but gets Paul Heyman instead. Heyman thinks this isn’t a good time as the Usos go in to see Reigns. Last week Heyman said stay three steps ahead, but that still might be a bad time for Sami.

Liv Morgan enters the Women’s Royal Rumble and is willing to go in at #1.

We look back at Uncle Howdy attacking Bray Wyatt last week, which freaked out LA Knight in the process.

LA Knight was walking through Memphis earlier today and after getting over how bad that was, he thought it was great that Bray Wyatt can’t keep his freaks in line. At the Royal Rumble, Wyatt is getting what is coming to him, YEAH.

Emma/Madcap Moss vs. Karrion Kross/Scarlett

This is Scarlett’s in-ring TV debut and we’re joined in progress with the women coming in off double tags. Scarlett shrugs off some right hands and suplexes her for two. Kross comes in to glare at Emma, allowing Scarlett to post her. Emma gets sent over the announcers’ table, leaving Kross to hit the Krosshammer into the Krossjacket for the win at 3:08.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash for Kross and Scarlett, as Emma and Moss never felt like they were a threat to win. Scarlett is someone who can easily handle herself in the ring and doesn’t always have to be on the floor. Kross seems to be ready for a showdown with Rey Mysterio and that means he wasn’t going to need to break a sweat here with Moss.

Post match Kross and Scarlett put a Rey Mysterio mask on Moss and says Rey is running out of time.

We look back at Charlotte returning and winning the Smackdown Women’s Title from Ronda Rousey in less than a minute.

Sheamus and Drew McIntyre were at Jerry Lawler’s bar earlier and fired each other up for their Tag Team Title match tonight.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She is happy with her title win last week and doesn’t really care what people think of her. The one thing she isn’t is complacent, so she will face anyone. Cue Sonya Deville, who wants and receives a title shot.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sonya Deville

Charlotte is defending and kicks Deville out to the floor to start. Back from a break with Deville going after the knee and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Charlotte hits some clotheslines, followed by a flipping clothesline for two. A spear cuts Sonya down and the Figure Eight retains the title at 6:46.

Rating: C-. So that happened. Charlotte wasn’t going to drop the title this fast but they didn’t even bother with anything close to drama. It was all about getting Charlotte in the ring again to clarify that she’s all nice and good now, with Deville being a good first victim to the title reign.

Video on Cody Rhodes returning to WWE last year.

Remember how Lacey Evans has been training? She still is.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Ricochet vs. Top Dolla

Dolla powers him into the corner to start and gets Ricochet on top to toss him down. A big boot gives Dolla two but he takes too long dancing, allowing Ricochet to kick him in the head. The standing Sliced Bread drops Dolla and the shooting star press finishes him off at 1:57.

Post match Dolla shakes Ricochet’s hand….allowing Ashante Adonis to superkick Ricochet in the face. B Fab adds in a kick of her own as all of Hit Row seems to have turned. Braun Strowman runs in for the save, which shouldn’t have happened as Top Dolla needed to look dominant here.

The Usos go to the ring for their title match. Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring him Sami Zayn.

Video on Gunther vs. Braun Strowman for the Intercontinental Title next week.

Sami Zayn comes in to see Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman, with Reigns telling him to sit without giving him a look. Sami immediately says that Reigns is the Tribal Chief and no one else is. Reigns doesn’t accept because he holds himself to a high standard and no one should be treated like Sami was earlier. He doesn’t accept because he should be apologizing, so Reigns says he is sorry.

Reigns understands that he is mad at Kevin Owens and taking out on Sami. That’s why he’s going to let Sami help him get rid of Owens, when Sami and Owens face off next week. Sami is in but hears the Usos’ music and goes towards the ring. Hold on though, as Reigns wants Sami to watch with him.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Drew McIntyre/Sheamus

The Usos, with Solo Sikoa, are defending. Sheamus takes Jimmy down to start and it’s off to Drew, who tosses him into the corner. Jey comes in and manages a quick suplex to take over, allowing Jimmy to come in for some choking. Drew gets sent outside and suicide dived into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting the ten forearms to Jey’s chest but Jimmy gets in a shot to take over again. Drew cuts off the double Uce and it’s a double super White Noise for two on the champs. A flip dive off the apron takes the Usos down and it’s a Claymore for two on Jey with Jimmy making the save.

We see Reigns/Zayn/Heyman eating popcorn as they watch the match as the 1D hits Sheamus….for two as McIntyre makes the save. Sikoa goes after Drew but here are the Brawling Brutes to cut him off. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Jey so Jimmy makes the save. A dive takes the Usos out so Sheamus picks Jey up, only to be rolled up with Jimmy giving an assist to retain at 13:19.

Rating: B-. They had a bit of drama when Sheamus survived the 1D but there is only so much of a reason to believe the Usos are losing anytime soon. Sheamus and McIntyre could have gotten the title shot on a big stave and just a Smackdown main event doesn’t feel that big. Good TV match, but it should have been a bit bigger.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty solid show tonight, but the question now is what happens with Sami/Owens/Reigns. That seems like it is about to blow up either in the next few weeks or at the Royal Rumble at the latest. Other than that, the Rumbles continue to loom, but there are only three out of sixty spots filled. That could take up a lot of time over the next few weeks so things could start picking up rather quickly. For now though, a good show that could have been bigger.

Results
Santos Escobar b. Kofi Kingston – Phantom Driver
Scarlett/Karrion Kross b. Emma/Madcap Moss – Krossjacket to Moss
Ricochet b. Top Dolla – Shooting star press
Usos b. Drew McIntyre/Sheamus – Assisted rollup to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestle Kingdom 17: Deja New Japan?

Wrestle Kingdom XVII
Date: January 4, 2023
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Chris Charlton, Gino Gambino

It’s time to go back to New Japan for a promotion that I have not looked at since last year’s Wrestle Kingdom. As tends to be the case with this show, I’m coming in mostly blind, save for knowing the wrestlers involved. The main event is Jay White defending the IWGP World Title against Kazuchika Okada, who he took the title from back in June. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Boltin Oleg vs. Ryohei Oiwa

This is a three minute exhibition and Oleg, an amateur champion, is making his debut. They go with the grappling to start and Oleg powers him down, followed by some over the shoulder armdrags. Oiwa cranks on the arm and an armbreaker sends Oleg to the rope. Back up and Oleg grabs a slam as we go to the draw at 3:02.

Rating: C. Even commentary was saying “this is meant to go to a draw” so it is kind of the definition of getting your feet wet. I’m fine with something like this as nothing more than a warmup as Oleg seems to have some name recognition based on his amateur credentials. It’s three minutes, it came and went, no one pretended it mattered. That’s an easy way to start the night.

Pre-Show: New Japan Ranbo

This is the Royal Rumble (minute long intervals, pin/submission/over the top eliminations), with the final four moving on to a match at New Year’s Dash to crown this year’s Provisional King Of Pro Wrestling Champion. Sho is in at #1 and Hikuleo is in at #2, leaving Sho looking nervous. The forearms have little effect on Hikuleo so Show bails to the floor for some regrouping.

Evil (with Dick Togo) is in at #3, meaning Hikuleo gets to beat up two people instead of one. Tomohiro Ishii is in at #4 and stares down Hikuleo before helping Evil beat him down. Great-O-Khan is in at #5 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring as Ishii and Hikuleo fight. With Khan taking forever to get in, Douki is in at #6 and helps clear the ring without eliminating anyone.

Evil and Togo try to get rid of Ishii but Rocky Romero is in at #7 for the save. Romero gets rid of Evil and the Forever Lariats have Sho in trouble. Kenta is in at #8 and gets in a brawl with Ishii until Yoshinobu Kanemaru is in at #9. With more brawling ensuing, Aaron Henare (he’s big) is in at #10 and slugs it out with Ishii to limited avail. Ryusuke Taguchi is in at #11 and helps Henare get rid of Ishii.

Taguchi and Romero (former team) go after Henare but Jeff Cobb is in at #12 as Hikuleo gets rid of Douki and Kanemaru. Shane Haste is in at #13, with Romero countering his powerbomb attempt. Mikey Nicholls (Haste’s partner) is in at #14 and Romero is out fast. Haste and Nicholls (The Mighty Don’t Kneel) double team Taguchi for the pin as Yujiro Takahashi is in at #15.

Cobb whips Khan into Hikuleo, who gets clotheslined out as a result. Toru Yano (who has dominated a lot of this title’s history) is in at #16 as Cobb is tossed as well. There goes Haste, followed by Nicholls, leaving Khan and Henare to stand tall. El Phantasmo is in at #17 and starts raking backs (as the Dermis Destroyer). A nipple twist (yep) gets rid of Henare and it’s Taichi in at #18.

Everyone but Taichi (including some eliminated names) fight on the floor and it’s Shingo Takagi (last year’s champion who reportedly doesn’t want to be here) in to go after Taichi. I believe (as there are a lot of people outside) that leaves us with Sho, Khan, Taguchi, Takahashi, Yano, Phantasmo, Taichi and Takagi as the final group (remember the final four advance).

A bunch of people get together to dump Taichi and there goes Takahashi. Phantasmo is knocked off the apron but lands on the barricade, where Kenta (who was apparently eliminated somewhere in there) and Takahashi help him back to the apron. Takagi joins him out there and Sho accidentally knocks Phantasmo out, meaning Khan, Takagi, Sho and Yano win to advance at 30:35.

Rating: C+. This is the Wrestle Kingdom “get everyone on the show” match and it still works. What amazes me every year is that this match always flies by and it did so again here, with thirty minutes feeling like it was less than half that. It’s a fun match that gives the fans something to cheer about while also setting up something for the future. That’s more than you get on most Kickoff Show style matches so well done.

A woman tells the fans to vote for something.

Pre-Show: Yuji Nagata/Satoshi Kojima/Togi Makabe vs. Tatsumi Fujinami/Minoru Suzuki/Tiger Mask

This is the Antonio Inoki Memorial Six Man Tag and Tiger Hattori is special referee for a real bonus. Nagata and Fujinami start things off with an exchange of wristlocks. That goes nowhere so Nagata shoulders him down, only to get dropped as well. Suzuki comes in to slug it out with Nagata.

Tiger Mask gets in a few kicks and it’s Nagata getting beaten down in the corner by a rotating cast. Nagata manages a suplex so Kojima can come in to chop Suzuki in the corner. This proves to be rather stupid as Suzuki glares at him and laughs at the idea of a forearm off. Tiger Mask comes in for the tiger driver and a near fall, only to get caught in the Kojicutter.

It’s off to Makabe as everything breaks down, with Nagata and company getting caught in stereo holds. All of those are broken up until Tiger Mask crucifixed Makabe for two. Suzuki catches Makabe on top so Tiger Mask tries a…something that doesn’t work, allowing Makabe to cradle him for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. Much like the other two matches, I don’t think this one was entirely meant to be taken seriously. This was much more about getting some legends in there for the sake of honoring the most important person the company has ever seen. That is completely understandable so soon after Inoki’s passing and the match was certainly watchable, if a bit formulaic.

Post match, Fujinami welcomes the fans to the show and honors Inoki.

We start with a tribute to Antonio Inoki, as you had to know was coming.

The opening video, if you can call it that, runs down the card, in order. As per tradition, I’m still not sure if I like that or not.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Catch 2/2 vs. LiYoh

Catch 2/2 (TJP/Francesco Akira), of the United Empire, is defending against Lio Rush/Yoh (who are an unlikely team that managed to win the Super Junior Tag League to get this shot). It’s a wild fight to start with Rush dropping TJP and taking Akira up the ramp, where Akira plants him face first on the steel ramp. Back in and Yoh fights them off for a bit, only to get caught in the wrong corner.

Akira hits a rope walk Tree of Woe dropkick to send Yoh outside, setting up Take A Picture (kind of a toss from the apron hip attack). The busted open Rush is picked up as TJP hits a Shinjiro Otani to Yoh but Rush cuts him off with a spear. Rush comes in off the tag and picks the pace way up, including the Tajiri handspring elbow to both champs. Suicide dives take out both of them again and it’s back to Yoh, whose superkick is cut off. Everything breaks down and everyone but TJP is knocked down.

Back up and a powerbomb/suplex combination drops Yoh but Rush makes the save with the Final Hour. The 3K (3D into a Downward Spiral) connects on Akira, only to have TJP come in with the Mamba Splash for the save. The Detonation Kick gets two on Yoh but the Leaning Tower is countered with a poisonrana. Another 3K gets another two but TJP is right back with a small package to pin Yoh and retain at 10:31.

Rating: B-. That’s a smart way to open the show as it was all energy and they didn’t bother wasting time with anything fancy. 2/2 is a good team and they did their thing here. Rush’s eye being busted open is what is going to be remembered here as it was a gusher, but other than that you had a ten minute match which I feel like I’ve seen several times before.

IWGP Women’s Title: Kairi vs. Tam Nakano

Kairi (formerly Sane) is defending and this is Stardom’s portion of the show. Kairi is in her pirate gear, complete with…Grim Reapers? They fight over a lockup to start until Nakano grabs a headlock. A basement dropkick puts Kairi down and Nakano gets to give her what might be described as a cute stare.

Back up and Kairi sends her into the corner for the sliding forearm but charges into a spinning kick to the face. With Kairi outside, Nakano hits a dive (left a bit low), followed by a Steiner Screwdriver for two back inside. That’s quite the kickout move less than five minutes in but Kairi is back up with a spinning backfist for two of her own. The Insane Elbow retains the title at 5:57.

Rating: C+. They went through this as fast as they could as they didn’t have much time here. Kairi is still rather good in the ring and I’ve heard good things about Nakano. The Screwdriver was weird and felt like something they were trying to squeeze in whether it fit there or not. For a fast match though and what I believe is the first women’s match ever at Wrestle Kingdom, it went well.

Post match the lights go out and Mercedes Mone (Sasha Banks) debuts, shocking….I’m sure there is someone there who didn’t know this was coming. Thankfully commentary acknowledges that it wasn’t a surprise as they have the staredown with Kairi holding the title in the air.

Mone pulls her into what looked like a Gory Stretch spun into a faceplant (or it might have been some kind of an armbar that didn’t go right). That leaves Mone to introduce herself as the CEO of the women’s division. She’s coming for the title in San Jose next month and you can bank on it. That was certainly a debut but it didn’t quite blow the roof off.

IWGP Tag Team Titles: Bishamon vs. FTR

Bishamon (Hirooki Goto/Yoshi-Hashi of Chaos) are challenging and commentary tells us about FTR’s travel issues getting here. Hashi shoulders Wheeler down to start so we’ll try Harwood vs. Goto instead. That doesn’t last long as Hashi comes back in for the double team, only to have it broken up just as fast.

The champs send them outside for a dive, setting up the PowerPlex for two on Goto. A powerbomb into a bridging dragon suplex gets two with Hashi making the save. The Big Rig is broken up though and Goto hits the fireman’s carry backbreaker for a breather. Harwood comes in off the blind tag and gets taken down with a running neckbreaker.

Bishamon’s Sho Tow (I think?) finisher is broken up and it’s a Big Rig for two on Goto. Wheeler and Hashi suplex each other to the floor, leaving Goto to fight out of a piledriver attempt. Another piledriver attempt works just fine, followed by the spike piledriver for two with Hashi making the save. Another Big Rig is broken up and it’s Sho Tow to Harwood for the pin and the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B-. And thus FTR’s downfall continues as they are now out of titles after holding a bunch of them for several months. The good thing is that they lost them in another solid match, which shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest. Bishamon winning the titles is fine as commentary hyped them up as the best team in Japan. Give them the titles so FTR, who seem to be more guest stars than anything else, can head back to AEW and sit around some more.

TV Title: Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Ren Narita

Tournament final for the inaugural title with a fifteen minute time limit, meaning a draw will require a rematch at a later date. They both fight for a cross armbreaker attempt to start before Sabre’s penalty kick misses, giving us a standoff. Narita kicks him down but Sabre is right back up with a twist of the arm.

A belly to belly gets Narita out of trouble for a few seconds but he can’t hook an abdominal stretch. They trade kicks to the back, with Narita sitting down so Sabre can hit his own. An exchange of kicks to the chest goes to Sabre but Narita goes after Sabre’s arm for a change and a double knockdown.

Back up and a bridging t-bone suplex gives Narita two but Sabre pulls him down by the leg. Sabre can’t get a triangle choke so Narita hits him in the face. They trade snap German suplexes but Narita misses a running spinwheel kick. Back to back German suplexes are no sold so they fight over another abdominal stretch, only to have Sabre switch to an armbar for the tap at 10:30.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t feeling this one very much as it was a lot of both guys doing the same thing and often popping up right after. Sabre is good at tormenting people with his holds but that wasn’t really on display here. Narita is someone who has come a long way in a short amount of time, but it wasn’t exactly an awesome showcase.

Post match the Mighty Don’t Kneel come out to offer Sabre a spot on the team and the shirt goes on.

Never Openweight Title: Karl Anderson vs. Tama Tonga

Tonga, with Jado, is challenging and gets decked before the bell. Anderson drops him on the barricade and throws him over before going back inside to pose a bit. The Burner (Rikishi) Driver on the ramp knocks Tonga silly again, leaving Anderson to chant his own name. Tonga blocks a Gun Stun on the ramp though and they fight to the apron for a slugout.

They slug it out on the apron with Tonga getting the better of things before hammering away in the corner. A charge misses though and Anderson hits the HI YAH kick. They head up top with Tonga knocking him down, setting up a top rope clothesline. Supreme Flow gives Tonga two and they run the ropes, only to have Anderson’s Gun Stun blocked. A middle rope Gun Stun to Anderson sets up a regular one (with Tonga slipping off, making it look like Anderson shoved him off) to give Tonga the pin and the title at 9:33.

Rating: C. This felt like a match that had a lot more history behind it and if that is the case, fair enough. Tonga winning makes sense as Anderson is in WWE full time so put the title on someone who is going to be around. Good enough match here, but that ending didn’t exactly do it any favors.

Keiji Muto/Hiroshi Tanahashi/Shota Umino vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon

This is Muto’s (Great Muta, but in normal form) final New Japan match. Muto and Sanada start things off with a teased Too Sweet but Sanada takes out the bad knee. A springboard dropkick takes Muto down again, only to have Muto grab a backsplash. The moonsault is loaded up but Tanahashi calls Muto off for the sake of his knees.

Instead Muto snapmares him down and hits the Power Drive elbow. Tanahashi comes in for the springboard spinning crossbody but Naito takes him down. A basement dropkick rocks Tanahashi again and we slow things down. Bushi’s neckbreaker gets two but Tanahashi gets in a dragon screw legwhip on Naito. That’s enough for the tag off to Umino to pick the pace way up and clean house.

Everything breaks down and Los Ingobernables get caught in triple submissions but a rope break leads to the triple escape. Bushi missile dropkicks Umino and Bushiroonis (just go with it) up. Tanahashi comes back in with some Twists and Shouts, setting up Muto’s Shining Wizard on Bushi. Umino adds the Death Rider for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was rather formula until the end when everything broke down and the good guys dominated, as they should. There was a grand total of no way that Muto’s team was going to lose in his last match in the promotion so the result was little more than waiting for the obvious ending than anything else. Giving Umino the pin was a nice moment and it isn’t like there is any shame in losing to Muto in his last match around here.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi vs. Master Wato vs. El Desperado vs. Taiji Ishimori

Ishimori is defending and this is one fall to a finish. They start fast (I sense a theme beginning here) with Takahashi and Desperado running Wato over. An exchange of rollups give us a big standoff as we hear about a fight backstage, possibly involving Tetsuya Naito. Ishimori bails to the ramp for a breather and that’s not cool with everyone else, meaning the chase is on. That’s fine with Ishimori, as the fight breaks out on the ramp and Ishimori is the only one to get back inside unscathed.

Back in and Desperado goes after Ishimori’s knee but the other two make a save. Wato strikes away at Takahashi and sends him outside, meaning it’s time for the string of dives. Takahashi caps it off with a huge dive off the top to put everyone down before they all head back inside. A series of strikes leads to Desperado hitting something like a Blue Thunder Bomb on Ishimori.

Desperado punches Wato down and everyone is on the mat as we hear about Los Ingobernables getting in a backstage fight with the Kongoh stable of Pro Wrestling Noah (right before the New Japan vs. Noah show as luck would have it). The four way chop off is on until Takahashi and Desperado are sent outside. Wato kicks Ishimori down and goes up top, only to get pulled down in a Tower of Doom as Takahashi comes back in.

Desperado joins everyone else and goes after Takahashi, setting up an Angel’s Wings for two. Takahashi grabs the Time Bomb for two of his own but Wato is back in with a tiger suplex into a crucifix for two more as Ishimori pulls the ref. Back up and a SCARY German suplex gives Wato two on Takahashi, who is right back up with the Time Bomb II for the pin at 16:39.

Rating: B. They were flying through most of this and it didn’t feel nearly as long as it was, but there were quite a few times where they stopped, which stood out a bit. That being said, I’d call it more than acceptable when they were going that fast. All that being said, this is the fourth time Takahashi has won the belt at Wrestle Kingdom, to the point where I was actually thinking “Really? Again?” when he won here. Very good match, but maybe let someone else get this spot next time.

IWGP United States Title: Kenny Omega vs. Will Ospreay

Ospreay, with the United Empire, is defending and this is a pretty long time in the making. Don Callis joins commentary (great) as Ospreay headlocks him to the mat. Ospreay tries to pick up the pace but gets knocked off the apron, sending him hard into the barricade. Back in and Omega kicks him down and rips off a turnbuckle pad. Omega hits a hard backbreaker to cut Ospreay off again, only to have him come back with a hot shot.

A big boot and cutter drop Omega and a Phenomenal Forearm does it again. Ospreay kicks him to the apron for a strike off, only to miss the middle rope Oscutter. Omega puts a table on top of Ospreay on the floor and strikes away even more. That’s fine with Ospreay, who knocks him away and goes up top for a Sky Twister to drop Omega again. Back in and the Hidden Blade gives Ospreay two but he still can’t hit the Oscutter.

Omega is fine enough to grab the Snapdragon for two and they’re both a bit winded. Back up and Omega takes him up top but Ospreay flips out of the top rope dragon superplex. The Oscutter finally connects for two and there are some HARD Cheeky Nandos kicks to keep Omega in trouble. Ospreay goes up again but this time Omega DDTs him onto the exposed buckle, drawing a good deal of blood. There is blood all over the floor as Omega hits the Rise of the Terminator.

Ospreay is sent head first through the table (leaving a big hole in the middle) before the beating continues back inside. There’s the Snapdragon into a V Trigger, with Callis complaining about a slow near fall. Omega goes up top but Ospreay stumbles into the ropes to crotch him down. Ospreay goes up as well but gets dropped face first into the buckle again (ouch).

Another V Trigger looks to set up a super One Winged Angel. Since that would, you know, kill Ospreay, it’s a super German suplex instead. Another V Trigger seems to wake Ospreay up as he strikes away, including a big shot to drop Omega. The Hidden Blade gets two on Omega, followed by a Styles Clash for the same. Another Hidden Blade misses and they strike each other down while holding wrists. More strikes set up a V Trigger and the One Winged Angel to give Omega the pin and the title at 34:38.

Rating: A-. This was a different match than I was expecting as they didn’t go as nuts with the flying and instead focused on the hard hitting fight. Omega is a lot easier to watch around here, as he goes a lot more serious and actually feels like he is having a match instead of a performance, making it that much better. Ospreay got in some of his high flying to go with the strikes, but that blood is what is going to be remembered. Heck of a match here and it felt worthy of Wrestle Kingdom.

We recap Kazuchika Okada challenging Jay White for the IWGP World Title. White took the title from him last year and now Okada wants it back. Game on.

IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Jay White vs. Kazuchika Okada

White, with Gedo, is defending and Rocky Romero is on commentary. They glare at each other to start until Okada shrugs off a chop. Okada takes him down but Gedo pulls White away from a running something. White gets in a shot of his own though and we hit the chinlock. A DDT gives White two and he drives Okada into the barricade for two, which he shouts over and over again.

After some chops, he adds a SWEET, only to have Okada come back with a DDT of his own. Okada grabs a flapjack and dropkicks White off the top to send him outside. Back in and a missile dropkick sets up the Money Clip, which is broken up just as fast. White is back with a swinging suplex, leaving commentary thinking White wants the fans to cheer him. The chinlock goes on before White goes after the knee for a change.

The knee is fine enough for Okada to hit his dropkick though, followed by the spinning Tombstone. White is sent outside for a top rope flip dive but he’s smart/beaten up enough to drop to the ground before the Rainmaker. Okada tries it again but this time White spits in his face, setting up a swinging Rock Bottom to put Okada down for a change. Back up and Okada grabs the arm for back to back clotheslines, only to have the Rainmaker countered into the Blade Runner.

Another Blade Runner is blocked so White hits his own standing clotheslines. Now it’s White doing the Rainmaker pose, allowing Okada to hit the real thing for a close two. White wins a strike out and says Okada isn’t taking this from him. They slug it out until Okada hits his own Blade Runner, followed by a Cobra Flosion. The Rainmaker gives Okada the title back at 33:04.

Rating: A-. Another very good match as White continues to feel like a star. Then you have Okada who is….well he’s Okada, and that is about all you need to say about him. This didn’t quite hit the top level that some Wrestle Kingdom main events have reached in the past, but I’ll take a near classic to close out the show any day. Much like Takahashi winning again though, seeing Okada win the World Title again isn’t the most exciting result. Great match though and that’s all that matters.

Post match White pulls himself up and actually seems to show some respect. With White gone, Shingo Takagi comes out to issue the challenge for February 1 (commentary seems a bit confused by Takagi picking that date). With Takagi gone, Okada asks if Antonio Inoki saw the matches and thanks the fans to wrap things up. Actually hang on, as we’ll get in one more Inoki chant to really finish it off.

Commentary talks a lot, as tends to be the case.

Overall Rating: A. It’s not quite at the same level as previous Wrestle Kingdoms but how can you complain about something this good? The last two matches were both great and there was more than enough that was either solid to near awesome throughout. Nothing was bad, but perhaps more importantly, this FELT like a Wrestle Kingdom. Maybe it’s the fans cheering or maybe it’s having the show on one night again, but this was another blast, as tends to be the case with Wrestle Kingdom.

Results
Boltin Oleg vs. Ryohei Oiwa went to a time limit draw
Great-O-Khan, Shingo Takagi, Sho and Toru Yano won the New Japan Ranbo
Togi Makabe/Yuji Nagata/Satoshi Kojima b. Tatsumi Fujinami/Minoru Suzuki/Tiger Mask – rollup to Tiger Mask
2/2 b. LiYoh – Small package to Yoh
Kairi b. Tam Nakano – Insane Elbow
Bishamon b. FTR – Sho Tow to Harwood
Zack Sabre Jr. b. Ren Narita – Armbar
Tama Tonga b. Karl Anderson – Gun Stun
Keiji Muto/Shota Umino/Hiroshi Tanahashi b. Los Ingobernables de Japon – Death Rider to Bushi
Hiroshi Takahashi b. Master Wato, El Desperado and Taiji Ishimori – Time Bomb II to Wato
Kenny Omega b. Will Ospreay – One Winged Angel
Kazuchika Okada b. Jay White – Rainmaker

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Impact Wrestling – January 5, 2023: One Of The Best Things Impact Has Done In Years

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2023
Location: Charles F. Dodge City Center, Pembroke Pines, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re back after last week’s Best Of 2022 event with the first show of 2023. That means we are just over a week away from Hard To Kill and the card is mostly set. There is always room for a little more effort though and now we might be getting to do just that. If nothing else, getting some of the lower card built up should help so let’s get to it.

In Memory Of Don West.

Opening recap.

Masha Slamovich vs. Taylor Wilde

Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Wilde is in all black and apparently has a new attitude, as seen on Before The Impact. Purrazzo doesn’t think much of Wilde’s resume, asking how long it has been since Wilde was a champion. Fair enough really, as it was a long time ago. They grapple to the mat to start with Slamovich spinning out of a wristlock into an armbar.

Wilde avoids a charge in the corner though and some choking has Slamovich in trouble. As Purrazzo complains about Hannifan talking about everything else coming tonight, Wilde sends Slamovich face first into the apron. That earns hear a northern lights suplex and a forearm to the face, followed by a suplex to send Wilde into the corner for two.

Back up and Wilde strikes away at the ropes, setting up a double clothesline (ignore Slamovich seemingly forgetting to stick her arm out until they had already collided). Wilde is back up with a Codebreaker but Slamovich pulls her throat first into the top rope. Slamovich stops to yell at Purrazzo though, allowing Wilde to grab a small package for the pin at 8:20.

Rating: C+. What in the world happened to Slamovich? She was the unstoppable monster for so many months and then just doesn’t stop losing. You would have thought she would get the Knockouts Title at some point in there, but now it would seem almost sad to see this version of her as champion. As for Wilde, it’s almost weird to see her getting a win like this, but if they are going to do something with her, it makes sense to start after that kind of a change.

Post match Slamovich beats up security.

Sami Callihan wants the Design but isn’t sure if they want him.

We look back at Rich Swann and Steve Maclin brawling last week.

Swann challenges Maclin for Hard To Kill with no DQ, no countouts and falls count anywhere. Be ready to fight all night long.

Black Taurus vs. Anthony Greene

Crazzy Steve introduces Taurus, promising that he will crush Greene (you may remember him as August Grey in NXT) with his hooves. Greene starts fast with a running hurricanrana so Taurus hits him rather hard in the corner. A powerslam gives Taurus two but Greene sends him outside. Greene clothesline Taurus down and declares himself the best thing in wrestling as we take a break.

Back with Greene hitting a dropkick to the back for two, followed by a springboard spinning crossbody. A suplex into a German suplex gives Greene two more but Taurus grabs some Sling Blades. Taurus hits a pop up Samoan drop and Destination Hellhole finishes Greene off at 9:07.

Rating: C. Taurus wasn’t going to lose on his way to a title match at Hard To Kill so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. Greene did well enough in his debut and will probably be part of the X-Division for awhile, but I’m not sure how far he is going to go. He never became the biggest star on 205 Live but maybe he’ll fit in better around here.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in to jump Taurus and gives him the spray paint treatment.

Kenny King invaded Mike Bailey’s dojo and beat up his students as Bailey wasn’t there (Impact LOVES the school invasion angle.).

Bailey is ticked and wants King in a Pit Fight (anything goes, fists taped, knockout or tap out).

Jonathan Gresham vs. Ernest R. Anthony

Gresham shakes his hand to start and they wrestle to the mat in a hurry. A dropkick sends Anthony into the corner but he comes back with a shot to the face. That earns Anthony an ankle crank before tying up the arm and twisting the ankle around again. With Anthony helpless, Gresham stacks him up for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: C. There is something special about watching Gresham pick someone apart and completely destroy them. The limb twisting and cranking can be great as Gresham makes it look so easy. I could go with watching him pick people apart around here too, and that seems to be what we’ll be getting for a good while to come.

Tasha Steelz yells at Savannah Evans about their recent losses. Gisele Shaw, with Jai Vidal, comes up to offer herself to the team. This doesn’t go well for Steelz, but Evans is interested.

The Design says if Sami Callihan wants to join, he has to start by recreating himself. Callihan can start next week by shaving his head, if he’s interested.

Video on Josh Alexander’s Impact Wrestling World Title, now the longest on record.

Here is Moose for a chat. He does bad things to people and at Hard To Kill, Joe Hendry is getting a taste of that. Moose has done anything he needed to get here, going from hero to villain, but now he knows what he is supposed to be. On Friday 13, he’s going to be Hendry’s first adversity and take the Digital Media Title while knocking the smile off his face. Moose takes the jacket off and wants the fight right now, so he says Hendry’s name.

Cue Hendry, who says there is nothing worse than a grumpy Moose. The real Moose is inside this one, so tonight let’s let the Moose loose. Hendry has a new song for Moose, including various mistakes and clips of Moose dancing as part of IPWF. The fans chant for Dancing Moose, which has Moose saying he believes….that he’ll beat Hendry up at Hard To Kill. Moose: “NOW PLAY MY D*** MUSIC!” I Believe In His Dancing plays again and Moose is furious. Hendry’s songs are always great and this was no exception.

Mickie James gives us a long look at her career, going from training to TNA (as part of the Gathering) to WWE. We hear about the Trish Stratus feud before she came back to TNA as Hardcore Country. Then she met Nick Aldis (Mickie: “I’m a lookin and I’m a likin! Then he spoke with a British accent and MIND BLOWN!”) and he became the love of his life, leading to the birth of their son.

She thought her career was over but then she went back to WWE. It was great but she wasn’t done. That brought her back to Impact Wrestling and she had one more great run. Now she wants to do it one more time and give the fans someone to believe in. This was REALLY good and one of the best things Impact has done in a long time, as it was all Mickie, who told her story very well. I really have no idea what happens with her title match and that’s a nice feeling.

And now the other side of fun, with a retrospective on Don West, who passed away last week from brain cancer. There are some really cool old school TNA clips here, with West’s voice blasting over them, which makes them feel all the more special.

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Sabin

Brian Myers and Alex Shelley are here too. Sabin spins out of a wristlock to start and an armdrag makes him complain about some bicep pain. Another armdrag into an armbar keeps Cardona in trouble until he sends Sabin outside. The dropkick through the ropes drops Sabin again and we take a break.

Back with Cardona whipping him hard into the corner, setting up the neck crank. That’s broken up and Sabin’s sunset flip gets two, only to have Cardona blast him down again. Sabin fights up and this the Tree of Woe dropkick but gets sent shoulder first into the post. The Reboot takes too long though and Sabin backdrops him to the floor as we take another break. Back again with Sabin’s tornado DDT getting….nothing as Myers distracts the referee.

Sabin takes out both Major Players with a suicide dive, followed by a high crossbody for two on Cardona. A distracted referee is enough for Cardona to get in a low blow and Sabin gets cut off again. There’s a suplex into the corner, with Cardona nailing back to back Reboots. The middle rope missile dropkick wakes Sabin up for some reason and he nails an enziguri. The Cradle Shock finishes or Sabin at 18:07.

Rating: B-. This got a lot more time than I would have expected and that was kind of nice for a change. Cardona is best known for his antics but he is more than capable of having a solid match against a variety of opponents. Then you have Sabin, who is one of the better hands that you can find in Impact’s history. Good stuff here and better than I was expecting (certainly longer at least).

Bully Ray (not supposed to be here this week) interrupts commentary’s preview of upcoming shows and demands a mic. Ray wants Josh Alexander (also not supposed to be here) right now but gets Scott D’Amore instead. D’Amore finds it interesting that Ray is willing to deal with Alexander now after no showing Alexander’s challenge a few weeks back. He cuts Ray off from the “you brought me back” speech and brings up Ray calling him for a job, saying he was a changed man.

D’Amore left this industry twelve years ago and didn’t like what he saw when he looked in the mirror. Then he came back five years ago and wanted to write a new story. The hope was that Ray could do the same, but look at what he is now. D-Von won’t be in the same room as Ray without getting a big bag of money and Ray’s only friend, Tommy Dreamer, is in the hospital. Alexander is coming back to a locker room that respects him and family that loves him. No matter what happens at Hard To Kill, Ray is going home alone.

Ray says that doesn’t leave him sad or pathetic, but rather a three time World Champion. They yell at each other a lot until D’Amore is ready to fight. D’Amore says he built up this locker room (Ray: “A locker room full of nobodies.”) and then nails Ray. Cue Ray’s lackeys to grab D’Amore though and it’s a low blow into a powerbomb through a table to leave D’Amore laying to end the show. Commentary being aghast doesn’t quite hold up when D’Amore hit him first, but we have to continue the BULLY RAY IS THE MOST EVIL MAN EVER story somehow.

Overall Rating: B-. There were some very good parts in here (the opener, the main event and that awesome Mickie James video), which are enough to outweigh some of the weaker stuff. I really don’t care for Bully Ray being in the main event/title picture, but they are doing the right things to make fans want to see Josh Alexander take him out and save the company. Hard To Kill is a two match show and those two matches have been set up very well.

Results
Taylor Wilde b. Masha Slamovich – Small package
Black Taurus b. Anthony Greene – Destination Hellhole
Jonathan Gresham b. Ernest R. Anthony – Arm and leg trap cradle
Chris Sabin b. Matt Cardona – Cradle Shock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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NXT LVL Up – December 30, 2022: Egads What A Dull Show

NXT LVL Up
Date: December 30, 2022
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Sudu Shah, Byron Saxton

It’s time for the final WWE show of the year and I have no idea what to expect around here. The good thing is that the show has been a little more focused in recent weeks but there is no reason to believe that it is going to continue for any length of time. Maybe they have something planned, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Thea Hail vs. Amari Miller

The rest of Chase U is here with Hail, who gets armbarred to start. That’s reversed into a headlock takeover and some armdrags have Miller in more trouble. A middle rope spinning splash misses for Hail though and we hit the chinlock. Hail fights up and hits a springboard backsplash, setting up the neckbreaker spun into a faceplant for the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C. Hail is such a ball of energy that it is almost impossible to not like her at least a bit. She is so all in on this Chase U stuff that she is going to be something if she can back it up even the slightest bit in the ring. Miler has that great personality and smile but she feels like she is in the same place she was a year ago, which is rarely a good sign.

Oro Mensah is ready to show Javier Bernal what he is all about.

Bronco Nima/Lucien Price vs. Bryson Montana/Oba Femi

Now this is interesting as you don’t have any star power involved. Nima and Montana fight over a lockup to start with neither being able to get very far. Price comes in to kick Montana in the face for two, meaning it’s off to Femi. A big spinebuster drops Price and we hit the chinlock. It’s already back to Montana to forearm away but a charge misses in the corner. The tag brings in Nima as everything breaks down, leaving Montana to get Codebreakered into a German suplex for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match that this show needs to do more often, as they let one of the new teams actually win something. Nima and Price might not be the next stars called up but at least they did something different here and that is long overdue. There’s something to be said about having four big guys hit each other and that’s what you got here.

Oro Mensah vs. Javier Bernal

Mensah wrestles him to the mat to start as commentary compares Bernal to Conor McGregor and Zoolander. An armdrag into an armbar has Bernal in trouble but he drops Mensah ribs first onto the top rope to take over. We hit the seated abdominal stretch, followed by an over the shoulder backbreaker to stay on the ribs. With that broken up, Mensah makes the comeback and starts striking away, setting up a springboard missile dropkick. The running spinwheel kick in the corner finishes for Mensah at 6:20.

Rating: C. These are two guys who are in weird places. Mensah hasn’t done anything since he came over here and has dropped rather hard since being in that #1 contenders match. Then you have Bernal, who is doing his comedy stuff well on NXT but loses to someone like Mensah. That’s a strange way to go and it didn’t work well here.

Overall Rating: C-. Egads this was a pretty worthless show, though I did like Nima and Price getting a win. Hail beating Miller doesn’t feel like much but the energy picking up was nice. The problem here was the show feeling so boring and there isn’t much that could be done to fix it this week. Maybe it was due to the holiday season but there wasn’t much here in the way of effort in the matchmaking and it showed badly.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2001 (2018 Redo): Canadians and Carey

Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 17,137
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is the first of two requested Rumble reviews of the year to go along with the regular redo of last year’s show. We’re nearing the end of the Attitude Era and Steve Austin is back after nearly a year on the shelf for neck surgery. All signs are pointing to Rock vs. Austin for the title at Wrestlemania and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how this is the only chance for a lot of people to become World Champion.

The opening sequence is rather clever as it’s a pole with street signs, each bearing a Rumble participant’s name. The Road to Wrestlemania you see.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending and the story….well it likely doesn’t matter as these teams plus the Hardys feuded for the better part of ever. Thankfully the recap shows us that the Canadians laid both of them out with chair shots to the head on Monday. What a sign of the times that really is. Edge and Christian tease walking out but you know that’s not going anywhere.

D-Von neckbreakers Edge for two to start as Jerry goes over the Dudleys’ family tree. Eh it was better when Heyman did the same thing at Wrestlemania. Bubba comes in and drops a big elbow for two as Lawler makes fun of the concussions. Again, total sign of the times and it’s almost disturbing to hear today. Christian walks into a side slam for two but a forearm to the back of D-Von’s head gives the champs their first control.

A Russian legsweep keeps the head banged up as it’s time to talk about Christian’s hair and teeth. Bubba comes in for a save with Lawler giving tips for how to make the concussion even worse. We get a rare D-Von chant as he tries to fight out of a chinlock. Another neckbreaker gets two on D-Von and Edge stays on the neck. Lawler: “I love it when Edge talks trash.” JR: “Does it keep you aroused?” D-Von gets in half of a double clothesline and it’s time for the slow crawl to the corner.

Like any good villain, Christian distracts the referee so the tag doesn’t count. Instead it’s Conchairto time but the chairs only hit each other, allowing D-Von to clothesline both champions down. NOW the hot tag brings in Bubba and it’s What’s Up to Edge. It’s table time but Christian cuts him off. Edge misses a belt shot and gets rolled up for two. A spear cuts off the 3D though and gives Edge two on Bubba. The champs load up their own What’s Up but D-Von makes the save this time, followed by 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. These teams are always good for a layup and like I said, it’s not like the story really mattered. You could throw any combination of these four and the Hardys out there for a great match and that’s a great thing to have in your back pocket. It’s not like the titles really mattered at this point as the fans wanted to see some combination of these three teams, which the company certainly gave them. The concussion stuff is still a bit rough to sit through though.

Drew Carey arrived earlier today. More on this later.

Also earlier today, Vince clarified that HHH will still get his title shot tonight despite what happened with Steve Austin on Smackdown. What happened you ask? Well again that’s not important enough to mention. Like anyone wasn’t watching the shows at this point though.

HHH doesn’t want Stephanie coming out to the ring tonight but Stephanie says she has to be there to deal with any potential Trish Stratus interference. After listening to Stephanie’s normal levels of acting, we’re joined by someone with some actual talent in that area as Carey comes in. He didn’t know the two of them were married because he’s been a bit busy lately.

Carey talks about running into Kamala recently and HHH tries to get rid of him. Drew understands and is looking for Vince for some tips on his upcoming comedy pay per view. Stephanie leaves with him because she wants to find Trish. Nothing wrong with a little promotion like this and the segment didn’t take long.

The APA talks about showing each other something. Bradshaw: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”. They mean Rumble numbers of course and Faarooq needs two beers. Crash Holly comes in to say he’ll thrown them out tonight even if they’re friends. Bradshaw: “And people say we’re drunks.”

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been fighting over the Intercontinental Title and tonight it’s a ladder match for Benoit’s belt. Most of the video doesn’t even have words but it’s not like it matters. Much like the tag match, you could throw these two and Angle out there with whatever story you wanted and it’s going to get a strong reaction. Again, that’s incredibly valuable to have at your disposal.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is defending in a ladder match and the fight is on in a hurry. The slugout leads to both guys trying their submission to no avail. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post as Lawler picks Benoit to win in a blowout. A shoulder breaker stays on the shoulder and Jericho’s springboard dropkick is knocked out to the floor. They’re definitely going with the idea that Benoit knows Jericho very well to start.

The shoulder goes into the post and it’s already ladder time. It’s way too early to climb though as Jericho pulls him off in an electric chair. Jericho rams the ladder into Benoit’s ribs and puts said ladder in the corner. Now you know what’s going to happen and I know what’s going to happen, but since Jericho is a face here, he’s stupid enough to be whipped into the ladder and fall outside again.

Benoit’s dive through the ropes is blocked with a chair to the head (egads that’s tough to watch). A ladder shot to Benoit’s back only hits barricade and now it’s the ladder going off Jericho’s head. Jericho sends him into the ladder back inside before tying Benoit’s leg into the ladder. That means a super Russian legsweep to bring them both crashing down. Benoit goes into the ladder again and Jericho catapults the ladder into his face to make things even worse. These are some brutal, brutal shots here and they keep getting harder and harder.

Jericho starts going up the ladder so Benoit belly to back suplexes him over the top in a heap. They both head up the ladder this time though and Jericho gets the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER for one of the coolest and most painful looking spots you’ll ever see. Benoit falls off but manages to kick the ladder over, sending Jericho into the ropes. The Crossface makes Jericho tap (and goes back to the shoulder from earlier) but Jericho’s other arm is still good enough to send Benoit into the ladder.

The ladder is set up in the corner but Benoit knocks him off, setting up a HUGE Swan Dive….which only hits mat. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit for a climb but Benoit shoves it forward, sending Jericho crashing into the top rope. Benoit goes up but Jericho makes the save with a chair to knock Benoit to the floor. That’s too much of a fall and Jericho wins the title.

Rating: A. This is one of my all time favorites as the match is nothing short of brutal and featured some unique spots in there. Sometimes you just need two people to beat the heck out of each other with reckless abandon and that’s exactly what you got here. There’s even some psychology with the arm work and that’s all you could ask for. This isn’t a match that needs a lot of analysis because you get everything you need out of just watching the thing.

Carey meets Trish Stratus who isn’t all that interested when he hits on her (Drew Carey isn’t that bad of a catch actually) because she’s involved with someone. That someone would be Vince, who doesn’t seem thrilled to meet Drew. The pay per view is plugged and Vince has an idea to promote the show: Drew can be in the Royal Rumble! Drew: “I don’t wrestle. Of course I don’t act but I have a show.”

Chyna doesn’t want to hear from Billy Gunn about her match with Ivory. She tells him to worry about the Rumble. I’d worry about being Billy Gunn.

Jericho says he proved Benoit wrong.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor gave Chyna a spike piledriver to put her out of action, meaning her career might have been over. Now she’s back to destroy Ivory for what she’s done to them in what should be a squash.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Chyna

Chyna is challenging and hits some quick clotheslines to begin the dominance. A toss off the top keeps it going and Ivory gets stomped in the corner. Ivory gets tossed outside so Chyna follows her into the crowd for the quick stop. Chyna cleans house, including tossing Steven Richards. Back up and a handspring elbow into the corner crushes Ivory….but Chyna collapses and grabs her neck. Ivory gets the quick cover for the pin after no offense.

Rating: D-. Of course the wrestling isn’t the point here as this was an angle disguised as a match. There are only so many ways you can book Chyna vs. Ivory, or Chyna vs. any woman for that matter, and this is the kind of trick booking you have to use. It’s barely a match of course and what we got was nothing worth seeing of course.

Lawler goes in the ring to check on Chyna and Billy Gunn (who comes from opposite the entrance for some reason) joins him. A long stretcher job ensues.

After someone seems to have her neck horribly injured, we go to Stephanie needing her hair fixed. She runs into Trish and things get catty, as expected.

Harvey Wippelman gives Drew some gear when Kane comes in. I think you know where this is going and it’s starting to wear thin.

Tiger Ali Singh and Low Down (D’Lo Brown and Headbanger Mosh in, shall we say, an ethnic gimmick, which is probably more offensive than funny) are arguing over who gets the spot in the Rumble. Vince comes in and says never mind because Carey is getting their spot. This is the kind of detail that makes the entry a lot easier. You’re not left wondering whose spot Carey is taking because the name is officially give. Also, who is going to remember Brown or Chaz in the match as cannon fodder for a big name? Put Carey in instead and give us a fun moment instead. It’s not like it’s going to change anything.

Fans at WWF New York give their picks for HHH vs. Kurt Angle.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. HHH. Angle won the title a few months back but HHH said he could get the title back whenever he wanted it. A few family strings were pulled and Vince’s son-in-law got the title shot. Since Angle couldn’t have a McMahon in his corner, he got Vince’s mistress Trish. This set Stephanie off and the ladies are in a bigger feud than the men. Oh yeah the men don’t like each other either.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. They fight over the arm to start as JR has to point out that this is heel vs. heel for a really weird setup. Lawler of course would rather talk about the women at ringside (to be fair, Stephanie looks great here). Angle throws HHH outside but the fans think the champ sucks. The signature chant hasn’t started yet so that’s still some fresh thinking.

Angle follows him out for some right hands to the face, only to get sent into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and HHH starts on the knee as the announcers discuss Drew Carey. Lawler actually brings up a good point by saying he made a huge name for himself by piledriving Andy Kaufman. What kind of attention would someone get for taking out Drew Carey? Angle whips HHH over the corner for a big crash and more “acting” from Stephanie. Another whip sends him into the steps and it’s Angle being even more aggressive.

A missed charge allows HHH to wrap the leg around the post though and a chair to the knee makes it even worse. HHH follows it up with a chop block and it’s off to the Indian deathlock. Well you knew he was going to work that one in somehow. The Figure Four follows up and JR is talking about all the things Gordon Solie would say about the hold. Trish tries for a save but Stephanie pulls her out for the catfight. Vince comes out to break it up as HHH looks on. Maybe getting some ideas for later?

HHH finally snaps back into it and drops some elbows on the leg. A DDT cuts HHH off though and a bridging German suplex gets two. Kurt goes up but gets low blowed, followed by a Razor’s Edge of all things for two more. You know it’s serious when HHH is using the Kliq moveset. Angle is back up with a suplex and the moonsault, only to bang his knee up some more.

They head outside and the ref gets bumped, with Lawler referring to Hebner as one of his best friends. Back in and HHH goes up, allowing Angle to run the ropes for a super armdrag. There’s no referee so HHH grabs the belt but walks into another suplex. Naturally the Pedigree connects for no count so here’s Austin to lay HHH out with a belt shot.

Rating: B. A little too much overbooking for my taste but the ending makes sense given HHH costing Austin the title a few weeks back (which the announcers finally bothered to mention after the match was over). Angle retaining is fine too as HHH vs. Austin doesn’t need the title and we can get to Rock vs. Austin at Wrestlemania that much easier. Angle still isn’t quite capable of hanging move for move with someone like HHH but he’s certainly able to do enough to cover up his few faults. The fact that he was only about fifteen months on the main roster at this point is almost scary.

The Rock, looking a little stoned, compares the Rumble to a big pot of jambalaya: there’s a bit of everything in it. The big question is whether the Undertaker and Kane are together and you know Rock isn’t letting an easy line like that get by. After talking about Undertaker tickling nipples, Rock says the Rumble could come down to him and anyone from Bull Buchanan to Perry Saturn to Steve Austin. He’ll win either way. Standard Rock here, with crazy charisma and presence without saying anything more than “I’ll win and don’t care who I have to beat”.

Long recap video on the Rumble. Does this really need an explanation? A bunch of people are in and about 25 five of them are kidding themselves into believing they could win.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals this year so they have a lot of time. Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Bull Buchanan (of the RTC) is in at #2. Buchanan throws him into the corner but gets punched up to the top for his efforts. That goes nowhere so Matt Hardy is in at #3 in one of those old Rumble tropes. It’s kind of amazing how often this happens isn’t it? Buchanan is tossed without much effort and a fist bump gets us ready for the brother showdown. Matt can’t get him out in the corner so a suplex drops Jeff instead. Faarooq is in at #4 and it’s time to run over some Hardys.

Poetry in Motion into the Twist into the Swanton is enough to dump Faarooq though and it’s back to two. There go the shirts (and the schoolgirl cheers) as it’s time to slug it out. Drew Carey is in at #5 and the Hardys don’t even bother stopping their fight this time. They actually eliminate each other and Drew climbs in, much to the fans’ appreciation. Then the clock runs down and it’s Kane at #6, giving us the only thing JR could possibly say: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”

Drew tells the Hardys to get back inside and save him as Kane takes his sweet time in a logical move. Carey keeps up the intelligence by offering cash but it’s Raven coming in at #7 with a kendo stick for the save. In the smartest thing he could do, Carey eliminates himself and manages to not have died.

I’ve said this before but that’s one of the best celebrity appearances in WWE history. He came in, he did his thing, he took a spot from a nothing wrestler who would have been tossed in short order and we get a fun moment. About nine months earlier, WCW took a lesser celebrity and made him the World Champion. Now which of these two did things the smart way?

Anyway we’re on to the hardcore section now with Raven spraying Kane with a fire extinguisher, only to have Al Snow jump the gun at #8 and attack Raven from behind. The buzzer, uh, buzzes, and it’s Snow coming in legally this time. That means a bowling ball between Raven’s legs with JR saying it seems like a hurricane blowing through New Orleans. I’ll be leaving that one alone as the hardcore guys beat the heck out of Kane.

Perry Saturn is in at #8 with Lawler and JR losing their minds over Terri’s top. Saturn starts in on Kane’s knee as there are weapons all over the ring. Kane has finally had it with this getting beaten up thing and slams Saturn down but everyone gangs up on him to get Kane down. Then reality sets in that they have to get him back up and throw him over the top. There’s a reason these guys are stuck in the hardcore division. Steve Blackman is in at #9 and WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT IT’S ANOTHER HARDCORE GUY! I know the line is it’s completely random but these things get hilarious at times.

The brawling continues until Grandmaster Sexay is in at #11. Weapons are swung until Kane has enough of the nonsense and eliminates Sexay with the trashcan. Everyone else follows him out and Kane is alone to face the Honky Tonk Man of all people at #12. For some reason he decides to ask Kane to stand back so we can have a song. One guitar shot later and Kane has his sixth elimination in about four minutes. Again: great usage of a legend there, if nothing else just to give the fans a breather and a transition between the sections of the match.

That next section begins with the Rock coming in at #13 so the slugout can begin. They knock each other down in short order though and it’s Goodfather in at #14….and being eliminated in thirteen seconds, counting entrance. Kane chokes Rock on the ropes with JR getting in the….I’m not sure what the right adjective is but he calls Kane a carnivore and Rock a big piece of Rock Burger.

Tazz is in at #15 and manages to last even shorter than Goodfather. Rock can’t get Kane out either so he settles for a Samoan drop. It’s Bradshaw in at #16 and both Kane and Rock are clotheslined down in short order. Rock takes Bradshaw down but walks into a clothesline from Kane as things stay slow (fine in this case as Rock and Kane have been fighting for a few minutes now and Bradshaw is getting beaten up by both of them). Albert is in at #17 and gets double teamed by Kane and Bradshaw.

Lawler of course asks about Trish and Stephanie with JR cutting him off as fast as he can. The four pair off but no one is eliminated until Hardcore Holly is in at #18. Rock has to survive an elimination attempt as Albert bicycle kicks Kane down (that looked impressive). A running clothesline takes Bradshaw down (for a change) but Rock can’t get Kane past the apron. K-Kwik (R-Truth, who is somehow STILL AROUND seventeen years later) is in at #19 and is promptly stomped in the corner.

Rock can’t get K-Kwik out (Seriously?) and it’s Val Venis in at #20, giving us Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, K-Kwik and Venis. The brawling continues with no one coming close to an elimination until William Regal is in at #21. Bradshaw manages to hang on this time as it’s Test in at #22 to keep filling the ring up. Regal is tossed to keep things even though with JR saying he was molested.

The returning Big Show is in at #23 to get rid of Test and K-Kwik, followed by chokeslams to Albert and Bradshaw. Venis and Holly go up and down next, followed by one to Kane for a BIG pop. Rock is smart enough to kick him low though and a spit punch eliminates Show in short order. That was quite the sequence and has the fans right back into things after a bit of a lull. Smart booking, again. Show isn’t done though and loads up the announcers’ table as Crash Holly is in at #24.

The chokeslam puts Rock (not eliminated) through the table and the fans are quieted again. Everyone left in the ring goes after Kane but it’s Undertaker in at #25 to save his brother. The ring is cleared in all of thirty seconds and it’s Kane vs. Undertaker in a staredown with Rock still down on the floor. Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #26 and I’m not even going to bother describing his painful experience. Undertaker and Kane look at the ramp for the next entrant and it’s Steve Austin in at #27….only to have HHH jump him in the aisle.

Rock gets back in to fight the giants as HHH sends Austin into the barricade, busting him open somewhere in there. With Austin down on the floor, Billy Gunn is in at #28. Right hands abound but Undertaker and Kane stomp Rock and Gunn down into the corners. Undertaker DDT’s Rock and punches him in the head but it’s HAKU (the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion but not under contract because WCW WAS STUPID) in at #29.

Austin is still down on the floor and my goodness that’s a lot of blood. Undertaker and Kane beat on Haku, who is nice enough not to eat them. JR and Lawler get in an argument over Austin being attacked because of course they do and it’s heel Rikishi in at #30 (which was already announced). Austin is up to hammer on him in the aisle though and we have a final grouping of Austin, Kane, Undertaker, Rock, Rikishi, Haku and Billy Gunn. Right hands and a clothesline get rid of Haku and we’re down to six.

Undertaker chokeslams Rikishi and sends Rock to the apron but hurts himself headbutting Rikishi. A superkick actually gets rid of Undertaker in probably the biggest success of Rikishi’s heel run. I mean, it’s also one of the only ones but it counts. For some reason Rikishi tries the Bonzai Drop on Rock, earning himself one of the dumbest eliminations of the year. We’re down to four as Undertaker’s motorcycle revving is rather distracting. Gunn hits a Fameasser on Austin and is eliminated for general purposes.

Rock gets in a DDT on Kane and finds himself in an opposite corner from Austin, meaning we have the modern Hogan vs. Warrior moment. The Wrestlemania preview is on and you can actually see the fans standing to watch it. There’s a Stunner to Rock and the Thesz press to Kane, followed by a low blow. A Rock Bottom cuts Austin off but Rock sends Kane through the ropes by mistake.

The big time slugout is on again but Kane comes back in and dumps Rock. Now THAT is a big deal for him…yet he was in a triple threat hardcore match at Wrestlemania. Wrestling is funny that way. Kane chokeslams Austin, only to walk around for a bit. A low blow gives Austin a breather so Kane grabs a chair. No worries though as a Stunner and some chair shots send Austin to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This was the Rumble formula at a very high level with Austin not being a lock to win here (Rock was very much an option) and Kane as the story throughout the match. There were also some long sections in there, along with several stories being set up for the future. The company was on a roll at this point and it’s no shock that the Rumble was excellent as well. Great stuff here and one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: A. When the worst part of the show is an angle disguised as a match, it’s pretty clear that you have a winner. The Rumble and the ladder match here are both top notch and it’s no surprise that things are rolling along as well as they are here. The company was just on a roll at this point with no turning back (until they managed to botch the biggest storyline in wrestling history but that’s a story for later). Just a great show top to bottom here with the only weak spot being a three and a half minute match. That’s some pretty sweet territory and the amazing thing is Wrestlemania blew this away.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B-

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

It always interests me when the first and third ratings are the same and the middle is different. Still though, great show all around, as it always has been.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2001-drew-carey-could-go-to-wrestlemania/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2001-two-masterpieces-in-a-row/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Vince McMahon Officially Returns To WWE

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/vince-mcmahon-officially-returns-wwe-board-directors/

So there it is. The big story this week has been Vince McMahon planning a return to WWE and that is exactly what he has done. McMahon reportedly came back to oversee media rights deals and a possible sale of the company. There is no word on him possibly returning to creative, though he suggested that he wouldn’t in a press release.

In short, this is another depressing announcement from WWE. Things were getting fun for a little while without McMahon but here he comes again, because of course he does. It’s another case of McMahon not being willing to let anything go, meaning that even if we don’t have the big changes coming, it’s going to be hanging over our heads forever. You can probably also expect WWE to have a bunch of sudden budget issues as a bunch of wrestlers that Vince doesn’t like get let go because….whatever nonsense reason they have at the moment. Fun times again, as it always is with Vince.

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1999 (2016 Redo): WCW Flash Forwards

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

What did I ever do to you people? I try to give you all a variety of stuff and somehow I always wind up with freaking Russo. Isn’t me freaking out over 2000 WCW enough for your bloody thirsty evildoers? Anyway, it’s Austin vs. McMahon at #1 and #2, along with Rock being borderline criminal against Mankind in an I Quit match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Austin vs. McMahon. The World Title match isn’t even mentioned.

Of note: the theme song here would become Vince’s theme for pretty much ever.

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Road Dogg is Hardcore Champion after beating Boss Man (half of the Tag Team Champions and part of the Corporation) to win the title. Therefore the solution: let them have a regular singles match. Ah the powers of Russo. Even Cole is trying to figure out why the Corporation wouldn’t want a chance to get a title. Boss Man is still one of the only people I’ve ever seen who stands on the bottom rope for his pre-match posing.

Dogg gets shoved down to start and we get an early hair pulling complaint. I hope he files the proper paperwork for that. Or he could just punch Boss Man in the face instead. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and gets crotched as Lawler tries to explain why this isn’t a title match. I’ll give him points for trying but it really makes no sense. Boss Man gets more aggressive but is told this isn’t a hardcore match.

The distraction lets Dogg crotch Boss Man against the post but he punches and kicks Dogg down with ease. They’re clearly trying really hard to have a regular match but neither guy seems to know how to do it. We hit a bearhug from…..well from the person you would expect to use a bearhug in this match. Dogg actually raises the roof to get the crowd on his side but gets dropped with a knee to the ribs.

The referee checking on Dogg allows Boss Man to unhook the turnbuckle pad and we’re just waiting on it to come back and cost him. Boss Man wins another slugout but gets caught in a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Dogg has to slam him off the top and it’s slugout the fourth. A flying forearm and the shaky knee get two for Dogg but he walks into the Boss Man Slam for the fast pin.

Rating: D. So their big idea was to have one of their most popular acts wrestle a style out of his element against an opponent not capable of wrestling that style and then lose. I’ve said it before but it deserves repeating: Vince Russo is really not that bright when it comes to putting together shows.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock. Gunn had, ahem, exposed himself to to Shamrock’s sister Ryan. Ken went psycho (again) and set this up with his Intercontinental Title on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is challenging but has a bad ankle coming in. Shamrock is the part of the Corporation and the other half of the Tag Team Champions. It’s actually Gunn being the aggressor to start by choking Ken down while Lawler is in full on heel mode here, completely supporting Shamrock for wanting to destroy Billy. A clothesline and delayed vertical get two for Gunn but he misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post.

Shamrock slowly kicks away until he ducks his head and gets caught in a Fameasser for two. So what exactly is Gunn’s finisher then, as that was treated like a nothing move. Gunn misses a charge and falls out to the floor so Ken can send him hands first into the post. I say first falsely implying that any other part of his body hit the post as well.

Shamrock takes some time to jaw with the fans, allowing Billy to come back with something like a Stroke off the apron and onto the announcers’ table. Well at least that looked good. Back in and Ken starts going after the ankle nearly ten minutes into the match. We get some very slow kicks to the ankle as Cole can’t remember Gunn ever submitting. Uh, right. Anyway, Shamrock pulls him down by the hair and gets two off a fisherman’s suplex.

The referee gets bumped and a double clothesline puts Gunn and Shamrock down as well. Cue Val Venis, who had recent issues with Shamrock, to take the champion down with a DDT. Gunn makes his comeback as there are fans in towels doing Val’s gyrations in the crowd. Billy hurts his ankle again coming off the top and the ankle lock retains Ken’s title.

Rating: D+. Off the top of my head, I can’t remember a less necessary run in. It didn’t change anything and they could have done the exact same finish without Venis coming out there. On top of that, the fans are actually pretty quiet. Believe it or not, there isn’t a lot of interest in thirty five minutes of a thrown together nothing team beating one of the most popular teams of all time in back to back matches.

Shane McMahon tries to fire up his dad for tonight.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Gangrel

X-Pac is defending of course. Feeling out process to start, which isn’t the smartest move in the world for a match that isn’t likely to go more than six minutes. X-Pac quickly takes him down and drops a leg for two. It’s already time for the rapid fire kicks in the corner but the Bronco Buster only hits corner. Gangrel is smart enough to follow up with a belly to belly for two and we hit a quick chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Gangrel throws him into the air and into a big crash, only to miss a top rope…..we’ll say elbow. X-Pac starts his comeback with a pair of spinwheel kicks because he’s a man of limited awesome. The champ tries a high cross body but Gangrel rolls through for a three but the referee says two anyway.

Lawler actually has a good explanation by saying the first count was for X-Pac’s cover and the other two were for Gangrel. That’s not what happened but it’s as logical of an explanation as they were going to find. Back up and Gangrel tries to throw X-Pac into the air, only to get pulled down into the X Factor to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Actually not bad here with Gangrel being a totally serviceable worker most of the time. That being said, there’s almost no story here as the announcers didn’t have any reason for these two to be fighting. At least the fans finally had something to cheer for a change though as it’s been a lot of energy killing losses so far.

DX says they’re a family but tonight it’s every man (and woman according to Chyna) for themselves.

Here’s Shane McMahon to introduce Luna Vachon, who he says is winning the Women’s Title due to Sable having a bad back. Sable comes out and says ring the bell. I have no idea what connection Shane has to this feud and the announcers didn’t seem to bother explaining the story.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Sable is defending and this is a strap match. Luna bails to the floor to start but gets pulled face first into the post. Back in and Sable chokes away as Shane calls Luna hot. Sable can only get two buckles though until Luna pulls her down. That earns Sable a whipping and some kicks in the corner, only to have Luna hit a quick backbreaker.

Luna starts dragging her around to three buckles with Sable slapping them as they go. Of course Luna doesn’t notice because wrestling logic is screwy. Sable flips over Luna and goes for the fourth buckle but Shane gets on the apron for a distraction, which somehow doesn’t count as a break in the momentum. Not that it matters as Sable’s insane fan jumps the barricade and decks Luna, allowing Sable to hit the fourth buckle and retain the title.

Rating: F+. I really can’t stand these gimmick matches getting less than five minutes but they’re a Russo staple. The problem here is there’s no real reason to have all these stories going on, along with no time to build up any drama and advance the story of the match. In other words, it’s too little material in too little time and it drags the whole thing down.

The Corporation debates over who gets to eliminate Austin and win the $100,000 bounty Vince has put on his head tonight.

We recap Mankind vs. the Rock. Mankind won the title on January 4 and Rock wanted a rematch. He offered various stipulations to Mankind before saying he quit trying. That was enough to get Mankind to agree because he knew he would never quit. Therefore it’s time for an I Quit match for the title. Mankind summed it up very simply with a question to Rock: “How does it feel to be in a match you can’t win and I can’t lose?”

A fired up Rock guarantees to win because he’s just that awesome. Watching Beyond the Mat has kind of ruined this for me as it showed Mankind standing about two feet away while Rock was talking here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind is defending and this is an I Quit match. Also of note, Mankind had to face Mabel (Viscera) on Sunday Night Heat, resulting in a bad rib injury. Rock gets pounded into the corner to start and Mankind hits his running knee to the head. Some right hands won’t make Rock quit yet though so Mankind hits him with the microphone. They head outside with Mankind going knees first into the steps in one of his trademark bumps. Is there any shock that he can barely walk around today?

Rock goes over to do commentary so Mankind blasts him in the head with a chair, only to draw another no. The Mandible Claw knocks Rock mostly out but he won’t quit. Mankind tries to take him into the crowd but charges into a belly to belly right back over the barricade for a big crash. Back to ringside with Rock loading up a Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table but it quickly breaks under their weight. Since it wasn’t really worse for either guy, Mankind is right back up and sending Rock into the post.

The fight goes up the aisle with Rock shrugging off right hands and DDTing the champ on the floor. For some reason Rock thinks it’s smart to bring in a ladder but a hard shot still won’t make Mankind quit. Rock climbs the ladder next to the technical area and Mankind follows him up to a little catwalk. A low blow stops Mankind and Rock rams him off the stand and onto the equipment, causing an explosion and the loss of the arena lights.

The match basically stops as Shane comes out but Rock says there’s not going to be a doctor because Mankind is going to quit. Mankind can barely move so Rock drags him back to the ring as this is now a much slower pace. With nothing else working, Rock handcuffs Mankind behind his back and it’s about to get ugly.

Some right hands and rams into the buckle have Mankind bleeding but he kicks Rock low to get a breather. Another low blow has Rock in trouble (and the receding hairline doesn’t do him much good either) but of course he won’t quit. A clothesline puts Mankind down and now it’s time to get scary.

Rock puts a chair over Mankind’s face for a People’s elbow but he still won’t quit. Now we get the infamous part of the match as Rock hits him a ridiculous eleven straight times in the head with Mankind not being able to defend himself in the slightest. Even Lawler says that’s enough after two shots. Mankind is completely out as Rock puts the mic to his mouth and a recording of Mankind’s voice from weeks ago says he quits to give Rock the title back.

Rating: B-. That ending is too much to take and is almost more brutal than the Cell match against Undertaker. The beating just kept going and going with Mankind looking weaker and weaker every time. Apparently Rock hit him about three times as much as he was supposed to and Foley’s family was terrified (justly so) over what they saw. The rest of the match is good enough but the ending is one of the scariest things you’ll ever see in wrestling, or anywhere for that matter.

We recap Austin vs. Vince which just happens to be taking place in the Royal Rumble. There’s no secret about the fact that this is all about those two and to be fair that’s the only thing anyone wanted to see. Austin is #1 and Vince is #2, meaning we’re going to see them for at least ninety seconds. Vince has also put a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head, in case you didn’t have enough stories going on yet.

Also earlier tonight, Austin crushed some cars with his monster truck and then beat up the Stooges in the arena. I’m not sure what that adds to anything but it’s a thing that happened. As usual, such is life in Russo’s WWF.

Royal Rumble

Austin is in at #1 and Vince is in at #2 and the intervals are ninety seconds. Fink takes FOREVER to do the full rules and Lawler is telling him to shut up. Fair point too as he’s explaining what does and does not constitute eliminations. Of note here, we get the debut of Vince’s chiseled physique which was a real shock as no one had ever seen his arms before. Austin pounds away to start (shocking I know) but opts not to throw Vince out as Golga (Earthquake in a mask as part of the Oddities, which is one of the most bizarre character changes I’ve ever seen) is in at #3.

Golga goes after Austin but gets dumped in fifteen seconds. Vince bails under the ropes and goes into the crowd to give us a chase scene. They fight into the concourse as Droz is #4 and this is where the match starts to fall apart. If Austin and Vince are going to fight through the back, why have Golga get eliminated when you could do Golga vs. Droz? It’s not much (save for a battle of really strange names) but at the moment, the fans in the arena are paying to see Droz stand around doing absolutely nothing.

This is even more proof that Russo is a good idea man but has no idea how to run an actual show. It’s not even a complicated concept: you need to give the fans something to watch. I know there are more people on the other side of the camera but you can’t forget the people who paid money to come see you. It’s poor planning and shows a severe lack of thinking, which is Russo in part of a nutshell.

Speaking of Russo, we see Austin getting beaten down by the Corporation until the camera cuts off. That means we cut back to Droz who is….standing there. Yeah this is really what you’re paying to see: a guy standing in the ring doing nothing. Edge comes in at #5 to give us something but the fans are now dead because they’ve lost Austin and Vince (neither of whom were eliminated) but they’re stuck with two uninteresting guys that have no chance of winning.

After nothing of note, here’s Gillberg (with full Goldberg entrance) at #6 to keep this stupid. Gillberg is out in just a few seconds as we cut to Austin unconscious in the ladies room. Steve Blackman is in at #7 as Austin is stretchered out. The clock is flying by now as they need to get some action going to revive the crowd. Dan Severn is in at #8 as the lack of star power is already making this horrible.

We see Austin going into the ambulance, which to be fair is more interesting than four nothings (remember that Edge wasn’t a big thing for a long time to come) wasting time in the ring. Tiger Ali Singh, one of the biggest misfires you’ll ever seen, is in at #9. Blue Meanie is in at #10 and we’re somehow a third of the way through this.

After Austin and Vince, the biggest name in the match so far has been…..geez I guess Droz. What this match needed was a midcard act to clean out the deadwood (Shamrock perhaps) until some popular act (maybe the Outlaws) came in to balance him out. Put Shamrock in at about #8 and the Outlaws in at about #13 and #16 respectfully, then pick up the pace again later on. But no, let’s have this huge bunch of nothing in the ring to kill the crowd until we get back to Austin vs. Vince at the end because Heaven forbid Russo come up with anything besides one idea.

There’s no one at #11 but we cut to the back (again) to see Mabel destroying Mosh and taking his spot. Blackman and Severn are quickly put out with Singh following them a few seconds later. Road Dogg is in at #12 to FINALLY give the fans someone they care about. Meanie is dumped as well, leaving us Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg in the ring.

Edge is eliminated a few seconds later but there go the lights because we haven’t had an angle in a few seconds. It’s the Ministry of Darkness (is there a reason Undertaker isn’t on this card?) to eliminate Mabel and here’s Undertaker to hypnotize him, leading to Mabel becoming Viscera. Therefore, we have ANOTHER lull as Dogg is all alone.

Gangrel is in at #13 and doesn’t last thirty seconds, giving us the third lull of the first half of the match. Add that to the fact that save for Austin and McMahon who haven’t been seen in twenty minutes, the first eleven entrants are already gone, making the first third of the match completely worthless. Kurrgan is in at #14 and beats on the Dogg until Al Snow is in at #15, only to be eliminated in less than a minute.

Goldust is in at #16 to interrupt Dogg vs. Kurrgan II. Dogg knocks both of them down and gets the fans breathing again with a SUCK IT. Here’s Godfather at #17 as it occurs to me that three of these people will be Intercontinental Champion in less than three months. They go from boring everyone here to having a title in that span of time. Again, only Russo.

Kane is in at #18 to FINALLY give us someone who might have a prayer of a chance at winning this thing. He clears the ring in thirty seconds but here are people from the mental institution to reclaim Kane, who eliminates himself and runs through the crowd. So yeah, we now have NO ONE IN THE RING, meaning that when Shamrock comes in at #19, he has nothing to do but stand around as we wait for an opponent. Oh wait Vince comes back to do commentary as we’re just sitting around.

As we wait, allow me to point out that save for the first two, the first eighteen entrants have all been eliminated, making nearly two thirds of the match completely worthless. Billy Gunn comes in at #20, wearing one boot. Heaven forbid we get anything going through as Shamrock takes him down with a kick to the bad ankle. Gunn throws him into the corner for a break but Ken goes after the ankle again.

Test is in at #21 but let’s cut to Mabel being put in a hearse. As luck would have it, an ambulance pulls in with Austin driving, because he was able to wake up, commandeer the ambulance, and drive back here in the span of half an hour. We FINALLY go back to the ring where Gunn low blows both guys. Big Boss Man is in at #22 to line up the Corporation members for Austin, who comes down and chases Vince off. Shamrock is quickly dumped and Vince is back on commentary.

It’s HHH at #23 as you can see the star power starting up because we couldn’t have them in there earlier in the match because of whatever reasons. People start taking worthless shots at Austin, who blasts Gunn with a hard clothesline. Val Venis is in at #24 and Austin dumps Gunn, giving us Vince, Austin, Test, Venis, Boss Man and HHH. X-Pac is in at #25 as Lawler wants to know why no one is going after Austin. Fair point, but the answer would be “because the script says they shouldn’t.”

X-Pac kicks Austin in the face and it’s Mark Henry at #26 to a far bigger reaction than you would expect. Jeff Jarrett is in at #27 as there’s just nothing going on between these entrants. The stupidity continues as X-Pac is the only one going after Austin and it’s likely not even due to the money. D’Lo Brown is #28, still feeling guilty for making Terri Runnels suffer a miscarriage. Austin easily dumps Test and Boss Man gets rid of X-Pac a few seconds later.

Henry clotheslines HHH and Jarrett goes after Austin, prompting Vince to praise him in something that sounds bizarre today. HHH gets rid of Jarrett and it’s Owen Hart taking his place at #29. Owen and Brown double team Austin until HHH makes the save, presumably to get all the money for himself. Austin slips to the floor and throws water at Vince. Chyna is the first woman in the history of the Rumble at #30 and immediately dumps Henry. That earns her an elimination from Austin and we’re down to Austin, Vince, HHH, Venis, Brown, Boss Man and Owen.

We get Austin vs. HHH in a fall preview but HHH has to eliminate Venis. Austin uses the distraction to Stun HHH and toss him, leaving us with four in the ring. Brown misses a dropkick on Austin (why are these two fighting in the final five of the Royal Rumble?) and everything slows down AGAIN. Owen enziguris Austin but gets backdropped out. Boss Man punches Austin down and D’Lo hits the Low Down, only to have Boss Man throw him out.

A Stunner is enough to get rid of Boss Man and we’re down to Austin vs. Vince. Well of course we are. They fight on the floor (read as Austin beats him up even more) before Vince hits a quick low blow instead. That earns him a Stunner but Rock comes out for a distraction, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. Do I even need to explain this one? You had Austin, possibly at the peak of his popularity, and even he couldn’t get anything out of the fans. It’s further proof that you can’t just treat your fans like garbage the entire night and then expect them to pop for your one idea.

On top of that, these shows continue to not be able to hold up. Can you imagine if this happened today? No one would buy Vince as keeping the title shot because there was no way that could happen. This result was designed to get people to watch Raw the next night to see how Austin was going to get out of this one. That’s fine at the time, but it really doesn’t hold up on a second viewing in the slightest.

It really is amazing when you consider that Russo somehow put together the worst Royal Rumble ever, followed by maybe the worst Wrestlemania of all time just two months later. Why in the world would someone think that he should be given even more power and authority? This was one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen and it’s almost painful to sit through all over again.

Shane and the Stooges come out to celebrate, meaning it’s time for beers. This goes on for a bit until a two minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: F+. Let’s recap here. On a six match card, you had two face wins with X-Pac and Gangrel. In other words, the face wins came in the most meaningless matches on the card. As I said in the redos of some WCW pay per views, you have to give the fans something to cheer for. This was one of the worst major shows I can remember in a long time and it’s almost all because of Russo not knowing how to write a wrestling show. This is one of those rare shows with almost nothing positive going on and it’s really amazing that they actually put this on and expected people to be entertained.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2016 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: D+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C-

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2016 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1999-disturbing-to-watch-for-multiple-reasons/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6