Olde Wrestling In Detroit
Date: March 30, 2019
Location: The Whiskey Factory, Detroit, Michigan
Commentator: Joe Dombrowski

This is something I have wanted to see for a LONG time, as the promotion is set in the 1920s and features a corrupt judge, bootlegging, shoeshine boys and more. It sounded like a blast and made me grab a subscription to IndependentWrestling.TV, which sent me on a list of about 20 shows. This is the grand finale though so let’s get to it.

Opening video, with old school style of course.

The ring announcer (in a furry top hat) welcomes us to the show (which is pronounced Old-E Wrestling) and we’re ready to go.

Jeff King vs. Cymbal Monkey

Cymbal Monkey might be better known as Space Monkey, and yes he looks like the wind up monkey toy that plays the cymbals. King on the other hand, is billed as the man who drove Frank Gotch out of wrestling…and he looks like Barry Horowitz in a one shoulder singlet. He also doesn’t like the cymbals and threatens to leave if they’re played one more time. They are indeed played, with King saying they are an illegal object.

Threats of a broken back via a bearhug are made and King demands a check of the tail (because being a monkey, he has a tail). The ring announcer, who sounds like an old radio announcer, thinks this might even make the DuMont Network! Or even a Nickelodeon! King grabs a headlock but a bite of the hand takes care of that. The Monkey takes the banana from King (who had a banana) as the commentary promises this to be a humdinger. Just like Vince McMahon about the opener at Summerslam 1990.

Monkey takes him down with a drop toehold as commentary talks about the popularity of swing music. A dropkick (flying leg kick, as the commentator calls it, just like Heroes Of Wrestling) has King rocked and he almost slips on the banana peel. King wants to know WHAT THIS IS and then runs Monkey over. An elbow on the tail connects as commentary is happy there are no groups around for animal rights.

The tail is wrapped around the rope but Monkey gets a boot up in the corner. A monkey flip (“Monkey type fashion” according to commentary) sends King into the corner and it’s time to get the cymbals. King grabs the bearhug but the cymbals go upside his head for the escape. Then a charging King charges and slips on the banana peel to give Monkey the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C+. Oh yeah I’m going to have fun with this, and partially just due to the commentary. The match itself was just ok but this is ALL about the presentation and that is working well. You knew the peel was going to play into the ending and in this case, it was the perfect choice. This was a blast and it’s very goofy, but they are leaning HARD into the joke to make it work.

Here are two men in suits, plus a spinster/possible religious fanatic for a chat. They are here to shut this operation down because one of them a Senator (Volstead, the name of the act that instituted prohibition), and the other, a representative of the government (they have names, though they’re a bit hard to understand), are here for ALL OF THE BOOZE.

The first man (I believe the Senator) explains the prohibition rules and the spinster (carrying an ax) threatens to use the ax on anyone who breaks said rules. Well that got intense quickly. The fans chant for something called the Purple Gang, which apparently are the main enemies of these three.

The promotion is nice enough to promise that the next match is actually happening. With no more interruptions. “Yes we’re certain.”

Danhausen vs. Marion Fontaine

Danhausen looks like Nosferatu. Fontaine is a mustached haberdasher and puts up his fists like he’s a boxer from the 1890s (I like him). Hold on though as Danhausen (with darker face paint than usual) stalks Fontaine around the ring, but the referee makes the mistake of inviting Danhausen into the ring (because vampires can’t enter a place where they haven’t been invited).

A test of strength is broken up as Fontaine goes for a hammerlock, with Danhausen reversing into one of his own. Back up and Danhausen screams at Fontaine, who faints, with commentary thinking it is a case of the vapors. Fontaine knocks him out to the floor but Danhausen is right back in to rip at Fontaine’s face. Danhausen stomps away and chokes with a boot in the corner. A bulldog doesn’t do much to Danhausen, who comes up smiling. Instead, Danhausen grabs a slingshot German suplex for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: C-. Oddly enough, this wasn’t the most entertaining match as Danhausen wasn’t doing his usual stuff and it got a little dull at times. The Nosferatu deal was great, but there is only so much you can do when the gag keeps going. The good thing is they kept it short, but I’m not sure how much more good there was involved.

Gregory Iron vs. Caleb Stills

Stills seems rather mean and Iron has cerebral palsy, in essence leaving him with one arm. Here, he’s a bullfighter (sure). Stills jumps him from from behind and takes the bull cape, which he tucks into his trunks. Iron takes it back and taunts Stills with the cape, only to switch to Stills’ own jacket. That’s enough to make Stills charge, with the frustration letting Iron chop away.

Stills is so annoyed that he goes outside and kicks the post, which just makes things worse. The chase is on outside, as commentary suggests Iron’s arm is messed up because of a bullfight gone wrong. Back in and an Irish Curse gives Stills two before it’s time to crank on both arms. A missed charge in the corner doesn’t do much for Iron as Stills crotches him on top. Stills grabs a torture rack but the referee yells at him a bit too much. That’s enough for Stills, who shoves the referee for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: C-. This was ok at best, as Iron as a bullfighter was a cool visual but I didn’t need to see it for nearly eight minutes. Stills was little more than a hothead, which isn’t going to be enough to keep the interest going for that long. That’s kind of the theme for the whole show and I can’t say I’m all that surprised as it is kind of a one note concept.

Post match Iron fights up and knocks Stills to the floor.

Aiden Prince vs. Feline Blanco

Prince would wind up in Impact and is royalty here. Blanco gets kicked in the ribs to start but he starts picking up the pace and hits a quick splash. A shot to the face is enough to send Prince outside as commentary talks about “the lucha door style”. Prince pulls him outside for a ram into a support post and they fight into the crowd for a bit. Well fight is a bit of a stretch, as it’s Prince beating him around the arena.

Back in and a running crotch attack to the back of the neck gives Prince two so it’s time to choke. Blanco fights up and hits a springboard crossbody, followed by a dropkick to put Prince on the floor. There’s a suicide dive but Prince runs him over again back inside. Prince gets a bit too confident though and it’s a sunset flip to give Blanco the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. Another match that was perfectly watchable but not something that I would need to see again anytime soon. Prince has a good look and Feline is a run of the mill luchador, but that isn’t quite enough to blow your mind. It didn’t help that this one wasn’t very heavy on the gimmicks so there wasn’t much to get excited about here.

Intermission.

Jody Nation vs. Kate Carney

Nation is the ax wielding spinster from earlier. Carney on the other hand has a sailor named Josh in her corner. She’s about to sing something but Nation charges at her because that isn’t going to happen. Nation is sent outside and doesn’t seem happy when Carney takes off some of her clothes to reveal her gear (which is nothing out of the ordinary).

The chase is on outside before they head back inside with Carney taunting her with various flesh. Commentator: “I’m going to need a double scotch rocks and a pack of Lucky Strikes”. Nation comes back with a slam as commentary talks about a young comedian named Bob Hope. Carney fights up and runs her over but here is the Senator and agent from earlier, allowing Nation to hit her with the ax. A middle rope ax handle gives Nation the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C-. The idea here made all the sense in the world as you have someone who wants things conservative and simple while the woman was showing about as much skin as she would on the beach. That being said, there hasn’t been what I would consider a very good or even very above average match on the show yet and this was another example.

Lobby Legislators Of An Anti-Saloon Land vs. Purple Gang

That would be Representative Gavin Q. Volstead/Senator Cameron S. Smith vs. Abe Bernstein/Nate Axler, or government vs. mob. The fans are all behind the Gang as Voldstead and Axler start things off. Bernstein shoulders him down and dropkicks Smith for a bonus to put them both on the floor. Back in and it’s off to Bernstein, who seems to be the muscle.

The Legislators get tied in the ropes and punched into the teeter totter spot. With that broken up, the Legislators manage to pull them outside for a posting to take over. Back in and a double suplex drops Axler but he fights up and hands it back to Bernstein for the house cleaning.

A double clothesline/shoulder/I can’t believe it matters runs the Legislators over and a powerslam gets two on Volstead. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped. Cue the sailor from the previous match with a life preserver to the head of Volstead, which draws out Jody Nation for the save. Kate Carney cuts her off and Volstead hits Smith with a boot by mistake. Bernstein drops a leg for the pin at 13:46.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches of the night, which granted isn’t the biggest accomplishment. It’s also a bit surprising that this wasn’t the main event, as the whole prohibition vs. booze seems to be the main story of the show. What we got was a pretty good match, though it was hardly an instant classic.

Olde Wrestling World Title: RJ Metropolis vs. Matthew Cross

Cross, better known as Matt Cross of course, is defending and it’s 2/3 falls. Metropolis, a rather popular silent film star is slightly known as RJ City. Thankfully the belt does look like an old boxing title for the right flavor. Feeling out process to start with Cross getting the better of things early on. A bearhug has Metropolis in trouble and a whip across the ring has Metropolis down and holding his knee. Believe it or not, Metropolis is in fact goldbricking and it’s a rollup for the first fall in less than five minutes.

Hold on though as Metropolis wants a five minute break, because it’s time for him to go outside, construct, and sit in a director’s chair. The delay draws Cross out and Metropolis gets in a cheap shot to take over back inside. Now it’s time for Metropolis to pull out….one of those snapping slates that you see when movies are being made and people say TAKE ONE. After an alleged pinch of the nose and a running slap in the corner, Cross has had enough and comes back with a running forearm.

A backbreaker ties it up at a fall apiece and Metropolis heads back to the floor for a seat in his chair. They brawl on the floor before beating the count back in, where Metropolis takes him down again. A fan helps put the chair inside and Metropolis sits down while grabbing the sleeper. Cross fights out and hits a running boot for two before having a seat himself. Metropolis tries a piledriver but gets caught in a fireman’s carry.

That leaves Cross so confused that he puts the referee in it as well, as apparently the airplane spin makes you blind as well as dizzy. Then the referee gives Metropolis one and all three do a Flair Flop. Back up and Metropolis rolls him up for two but Cross is fine enough to tie up an arm and a leg at the same time for the win at 16:24.

Rating: B-. Cross is a talented guy and Metropolis did well as the film star, but this felt like a tacked on match without much importance. I’m not sure if the match was referenced more than once or twice throughout the show and Cross didn’t really have a character outside of “champion”. Best wrestling on the show, but also the least interesting match.

Overall Rating: C. This is a weird show as it’s built around one concept, but the problem is that concept loses its charm fairly quickly. Eventually the gag gets a bit old and you’re left with a voice on commentary that runs out of jokes and matches that are only ok. It isn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that feels like an idea that would work a lot better as an hour at most rather than a full event. Some of the characters were funny and commentary had some good lines, but this wasn’t as fun as I was expecting, at least not after about thirty minutes in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Rampage
Date: May 27, 2022
Location: Michelob Ultra Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Ricky Starks

It’s the final show before Double Or Nothing and that means it is time for the last push towards the show. If nothing else, we get to find out who will be in the final of the women’s Owen Hart Foundation tournament, because that is still going. Tonight is mostly about firming up what is already there though so let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bryan Danielson vs. Matt Sydal

William Regal is on commentary as Danielson wins a test of strength and grabs a headlock. Back up and Sydal snaps off a flying mare, leaving us with a standoff. Danielson uppercuts him down and fires off the forearms to the head but Sydal is back with a leg lariat. We take a break and come back with Danielson dropping a knee for two of his own, only to have Sydal kick him in the face for a breather.

A hurricanrana gives Sydal two so he goes up for the Meteora, which is pulled into a nasty half crab. Sydal has to roll out so Danielson puts him on top. The belly to back superplex is reversed into a heck of a powerbomb to give Sydal two (that was great). A slugout goes to Sydal and he hits the jumping knee. Danielson isn’t having that and hits the running knee, setting up the hammer and anvil elbows. The guillotine choke finishes Sydal at 11:00.

Rating: B. Sydal was bringing it here and you knew that Danielson was going to be able to do some violent and painful things. The match was hard hitting and competitive, which is a good way to go as there wasn’t much doubt about the winner. Very good opener here, with that top rope powerbomb looking awesome.

Video on the rise of Hookhausen, though Danhausen still can’t train that well.

Young Bucks vs. Taylor Rust/Jon Cruz

The Bucks come out in full on Hardys cosplay, complete with the music, the dancing, the DELETING, the Gangrel (yes the real one) and the Brandon Cutler as Lita (including the underwear). Cruz gets taken down by Nick, with some spot on Jeff Hardy style offense. Matt (as Matt) goes up top for the elbow before coming down to the middle rope instead. The delay lets Cruz get over to Rust, who walks into a double superkick. Another double superkick knocks Cruz silly and sets up the Swanton for the pin at 2:40. This was hilarious and you can tell the Bucks are huge Hardys fans.

Post match the Bucks turn on Gangrel but the real Hardys….rather slowly come to the ring for the save. Cutler breaks up the double Twist of Fate but Gangrel Impales him. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton crushes Cutler and we get the New Brood reunion.

Darby Allin challenges Kyle O’Reilly for Double Or Nothing. If O’Reilly turns him down, Allin will interfere in both of the Undisputed Elite’s matches and ruin their night.

Max Caster vs. Dante Martin

Caster’s rap is about Martin’s lack of success with women. The Gunn Club is here with him and try to handle Anthony Bowens’ signature, causing Bowens (as pushed to the ring in a wheelchair by Billy Gunn) to protest until he gets to do it. Martin dives onto Caster and the Club so we’re ready to go. Everyone else is ejected as Caster goes after the knee and twists it down for an early two as we take a break. Back with Caster missing the Mic Drop and Martin backflipping over him. Some elbows put Caster down and the Nose Dive finishes for Martin at 6:14. Not enough shown to rate, which makes the commercial all the more annoying.

Video on Adam Cole vs. Samoa Joe in the Owen Hart Foundation men’s final.

We look at Sammy Guevara and Frankie Kazarian destroying the TNT Title last week.

Here are the Men of the Year, with Dan Lambert talking about how you can guarantee that there are very few things you can believe in. You can believe in them though, including the TNT Champion. We need a new title belt for him though, with Scorpio Sky receiving the newly designed version, which is basically the same belt with yellow and purple trim (ala the Los Angeles Lakers).

Hold on though as we cut to American Top Team headquarters, where Sammy Guevara/Tay Conti/Frankie Kazarian break in. They look at the title collection and, with a lead pipe, break into it and steal some titles. The challenge for the six person tag is thrown out for Double Or Nothing, with Sky accepting, on one condition: if Sky/Ethan Page/Paige VanZant win, Kazarian/Guevara can never challenge for the TNT Title again.

Kris Statlander is tired of being nice because it hasn’t gotten her anywhere.

Double Or Nothing rundown.

Women’s Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Semifinals: Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho

The winner gets Britt Baker on Sunday. Soho goes for the knee to start but Statlander flips her away with straight power. An armdrag sends Statlander into the corner but she blocks another one, again with the power. A kick to the knee just annoys Statlander, who blasts Soho with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Statlander powerbombing her out of the corner but her arm gives out on a gorilla press attempt. No Future connects for Soho but Statlander gets sent outside. Soho has to get her up and it’s a hurricanrana from the apron to stagger Statlander again. Statlander is fine enough to hit a quick Falcon Arrow for two but the shoulder gives out on the Spider Crab attempt. Soho kicks the knee out again and crabs an Oklahoma roll for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: B-. This was another match where there wasn’t a ton of drama about the result but Statlander did well in her spot. Soho vs. Baker was all but guaranteed for the final as there is enough of a history there to make it work. Good main event here though and it’s nice to see Soho getting a run for a change.

Post match here is Britt Baker, but Soho cuts her off. Soho is tired of hearing Baker talk so on Sunday, Soho is taking the tournament. Baker has a receipt coming on Sunday and the mic is dropped to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Now that is more like it, as we had good action, but more importantly they did a lot of the work on the way to the pay per view on Sunday. That is the point of a show like this and AEW made it work very well. Double Or Nothing is looking great, though adding in two more matches might have been a step too far. Anyway, pretty awesome Rampage this week.

Results
Bryan Danielson b. Matt Sydal – Guillotine choke
Young Bucks b. Jon Cruz/Taylor Rust – Swanton Bomb to Cruz
Dante Martin b. Max Caster – Nose Dive
Ruby Soho b. Kris Statlander – Oklahoma roll

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2022
Location: Simmons Bank Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re almost up to Hell In A Cell and that means it might be time to actually add some things to the card. I’m not sure what the main event is supposed to be but maybe we get something else this week. If nothing else, New Day has a mystery partner to FINALLY wrap up their feud with the Brawling Brutes. I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Usos taking out RKBro last week to unify the Tag Team Titles. Randy Orton was injured pretty badly last week to put him on the shelf for the time being.

Here are the Usos for a chat. After thanking Roman Reigns for making this possible, we hear about how the Usos recently celebrated twelve years in this company and they couldn’t have done it without the fans. The fans have cheered and booed them while seeing their up and definitely (Jey’s word) seeing their downs. After all their time together and all the plane rides and all the time away from their families, the fans were always there.

Jey always loves being here in front of these people and entertaining them, so from the bottom of their hearts, thank you. After all though though, Jimmy has learned that they need…..NO ONE! They have each other and now they have taken out RKBro, leaving Riddle crying like they had the little kids crying last week. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura with a challenge for a title match and he has a partner. This brings out Riddle and house is cleared, with the Usos being sent running.

We look at Ronda Rousey having some trouble beating Raquel Rodriguez a few weeks ago.

Riddle and Shinsuke Nakamura know they can work together, even without their regular partners.

Shotzi and most of the women’s division is in the locker room with Shotzi complaining about Rodriguez getting another match with Rousey. No one wants to listen to her until Natalya and Shayna Baszler seem intrigued.

Ronda Rousey vs. Raquel Rodriguez

Champions Contender match. Hold on though as we cut to the back where Natalya and Shayna Baszler come to the ring but Shotzi gets locked in the locker room thanks to Aliyah. I’m not sure how bright an idea it is to run a story about not being able to get through a locked door after someone else went through it this week, but we’ll go to the ring anyway. Rousey goes for the arm to start but gets powered up. The hurricanrana gets two on Rodriguez but Baszler and Natalya run in for the DQ at 42 seconds.

Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Ronda Rousey/Raquel Rodriguez

Joined in progress with Baszler working on Rodriguez’s knee. That’s broken up with a kick to the floor so Rousey comes in to clean house. Natalya takes her down in short order for the Sharpshooter but Rousey crawls over for the tag to escape (that’s a new one). Rodriguez gets taken down again but it’s right back to Rousey for the showdown with Baszler. Natalya breaks that up but the Tejada Bomb (Chingona) finishes Baszler at 3:24.

Rating: C-. And that’s how you use two women who will probably be headliners in the Women’s Tag Team Title tournament. Baszler and Natalya have never been portrayed as anything more than cranky losers and that was the case again here. Natalya even got Rousey in the Sharpshooter without much trouble but the match was over shortly thereafter. Another match that shows how unimportant the tag division is, in case that wasn’t clear enough.

New Day likes having the element of surprise because their partner tonight could be anyone from Max Moon to Reed Richards to the interviewer.

Los Lotharios vs. Jinder Mahal/Shanky

Hold on though as we cut to the back where Mahal can’t find Shanky. Mahal finds him in the locker room, dancing to their own theme music. They get to the ring and it’s Shanky big booting Humberto so Mahal can come in. Everything breaks down and Angel TAKES OFF HIS PANTS for the ring announcer Samantha Irvin (who looks terrified). The distraction lets Shanky kick Angel in the head but it’s Humberto hitting a springboard kick to the face to pin Mahal at 2:14.

Post match Mahal yells at Shanky and leaves so Shanky dances in front of Samantha, who seems a bit more enthusiastic.

Max Dupri comes in to see Adam Pearce and asks about his contract, which Pearce says is all legal. That works for Dupri, who can now find his first client.

Here is Kevin Owen for the KO Show, with his guest being a member of the Bloodline: SAMI ZAYN! After an exchange of pleasantries and a burial of whatever they were fighting about last time (Sami doesn’t remember either), Sami says he knows Ezekiel is Elias too. That has Owens crying on Zayn’s shoulder because someone finally believes him. Owens needs him to come to Raw and help him deal with Ezekiel but Zayn has his hands full. Zayn calls him Uce, but Owens isn’t sure he likes that.

Owens calls him a moron, so Zayn says that Ezekiel and Elias are CLEARLY different people. This turns into a LIAR/MORON exchange until Owens asks why the Bloodline left Zayn high and dry on Raw. Owens introduces the Bloodline twice but no one comes, because the Bloodline doesn’t care about him. Sami says Owens doesn’t know what he’s talking about and goes to leave but Owens stops him in the aisle, earning a shove into the barricade. Owens goes back into the ring and beats up the people taking down the set to blow off some steam.

Ricochet/Drew Gulak vs. Gunther/Ludvig Kaiser

Gunther wastes no time in shoving Gulak off the top for a crash as we take an early break. Back with Gulak getting over for the tag to Ricochet who hits a springboard crossbody on Kaiser. A fireman’s carry is broken up by a rake to the eyes though and it’s back to Gulak. That’s fine with Kaiser, who kicks him in the face for the pin at 6:24. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a step above a squash.

Post match Gunther kicks Ricochet in the face.

Sami Zayn asks the Usos where they were and thinks he isn’t being respected. What if he just joined with them? That’s cool with the Usos, who make him an honorary Uce. Zayn is very pleased, but I don’t know how much the Usos buy this.

Memorial Day video, three days before Memorial Day.

Brawling Brutes vs. New Day/???

Before the match, Sheamus brags about how it doesn’t matter who the mystery partner is because New Day Sucks, New Day Sucks, New Day Sucks. Cue New Day, who thinks the Brawling Brutes sound like off brand Wrestling Buddies. After more jokes (including McAfee having way too much fun with Sheamus saying it doesn’t matter if it’s Moby Dick), it’s Drew McIntyre and we’re ready to go.

The bell rings (nineteen minutes after the Brutes came to the ring) and it’s Butch going after Woods to start. Woods gets taken into the corner for the forearms to the chest from Sheamus, with Butch adding a bunch of his own. Woods fights up gets over to McIntyre for the tag, meaning Holland comes in for a change. Sheamus’ distraction lets Butch get in a cheap shot and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting a top rope knee on Kofi for two in a big crash. Kofi manages to knock him down but the other Brutes pull Woods and McIntyre off the apron like good villains. The hot tag attempt works a bit better on the second attempt though as McIntyre comes in to clean house.

Butch jumps on McIntyre’s back but gets sent outside, leaving Woods to hit a running dropkick through the ropes. Sheamus hits Woods with something (off camera) so Kofi dives onto Sheamus for the knockdown. The Glasgow Kiss and the Claymore set up the Limit Breaker to give Woods the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C+. Perfectly good house show main event here as McIntyre was one of the most logical choices New Day had. Hopefully this wraps up a feud that has gone on for far too long now as WWE continues to not quite get how to put a bow on things. McIntyre continues to look like a monster and that is what he got to do here, as he does better than anyone on Smackdown at the moment.

Dancing, including McIntyre, ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While it wasn’t the worst show, this was a pretty dry effort as there was barely anything noteworthy. I don’t get much out of McIntyre being gone for two weeks on a promotional tour and coming back to beat up Ridge Holland or Owens vs. Zayn again but your mileage may vary. It’s another slow show on the way to their latest uninspired pay per view, which takes place in nine days and has four matches on the card, all from Raw. WWE might want to work on that, but they didn’t do anything about it here.

Results
Raquel Rodriguez b. Ronda Rousey via DQ when Natalya and Shayna Baszler interfered
Ronda Rousey/Raquel Rodriguez b. Natalya/Shayna Baszler – Tejada Bomb to Baszler
Los Lotharios b. Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Springboard kick to the face to Mahal
Gunther/Ludvig Kaiser b. Ricochet/Drew Gulak – Running kick to Gulak
New Day/Drew McIntyre b. Brawling Brutes – Limit Breaker to Holland

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 26, 2022
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are well on the way to Slammiversary and that means it is time to build towards the matches that are already set for the show. This includes the World Title match of Josh Alexander defending against Eric Young, which will probably be built up a bit more this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event, with the Briscoes retaining the Tag Team Titles over Violent By Design. This set up a post match staredown also involving Josh Alexander, likely setting up a six man tag this week.

Opening sequence.

Ultimate X Qualifying Match: Alex Shelley vs. Trey Miguel

We get a respectful handshake to start until Shelley grabs a hammerlock. Miguel spins out of that in a hurry though and we’re at a standoff. A whip into the ropes doesn’t work for Shelley, as Miguel is right there with a few kicks to the arm. Shelley sends him outside though and there’s the baseball slide to stagger Miguel. The chop hits the post though and Miguel grabs a middle rope moonsault as Shelley grabs his hand.

Back in and Shelley is fine enough to knock him out of the air and start cranking Miguel’s leg around the rope. A dragon screw legwhip makes Miguel scream and the Motor City Stretch makes it even worse. That means Miguel needs a rope for the break and a dropkick has Shelley in trouble for a change. Miguel grabs his leg before firing off the kicks to the chest anyway and grabbing a dragon sleeper.

Shelley slips out so Miguel dropkicks him in the back of the head for two. A Downward Spiral into the middle buckle drops Miguel as well though and they grab hands for the slugout. Miguel gets the better of a strike off but misses the top rope Meteora. Shelley grabs a scoop brainbuster for two before Miguel counters Shell Shock into a crucifix for the pin at 12:26.

Rating: B. This was the technical exchange that was bound to be great because the two people in the match were that good. Miguel can look excellent when he has the right opponent and that is where Shelley comes in. Shelley is one of the smoothest and most talented wrestlers in the world so this was destined to work very well.

The Briscoes and Josh Alexander are ready for Violent By Design. The Good Brothers come in and want a Tag Team Title shot, which is cool with the Briscoes.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Masha Slamovich vs. Havok

Rosemary is here with Havok. They slug it out to start with Havok sending her into the corner, only to miss a charge. Slamovich hits a heck of a spinwheel kick in the corner, followed by a hard kick to the head. Something that is supposed to be the Snow Plow (closer to a suplex slam) finishes Havok at 1:28.

Rosemary isn’t sure what to do.

Trey Miguel is fired up about his win but Kenny King comes in to say the title is coming his way at Slammiversary. Black Christian doesn’t think much of King and challenges him for the Ultimate X spot. Deal.

Rich Swann thinks Matt Cardona is ducking him so Swann is coming for him. As for Matthew Rehwoldt, if he wants to throw Swann out of Gauntlet For The Gold, come see him face to face.

Chelsea Green vs. Jordynne Grace

Green gets her to give chase to start and then pulls her down by the hair back inside. Commentary explains the idea of the Queen Of The Mountain match, which even they admit is pretty complicated. Grace fights back up and hits a backbreaker but Green knocks her to the floor for a flip dive off the apron.

We take a break and come back with Grace being sent face first into the middle buckle for two and then gets four more for a bonus. The hard spinebuster gets Grace out of trouble and she grabs a sleeper in the corner. With that broken up, Grace hits some shots tot he face and a torture rack spun into a powerbomb gets two. The MuscleBuster is broken up so Green hits a facebuster, with Grace bridging up for the kickout. Grace’s electric chair is broken up but she’s fine enough to hit the Grace Driver for the pin at 11:26.

Rating: C. Just a match here, with the ending surprising me a bit. Green doesn’t exactly win much around here and it would be nice to have her get a bit of a boost. Granted at the same time, Grace winning is always a good thing and the Queen of the Mountain match is…well it might have pinfalls involved but that might only be in stages 3, 19 and G.

Honor No More complains to Scott D’Amore about the unsafe working environment that caused Maria Kanellis to get hurt. They want the Good Brothers at Slammiversary but they’re taken with the Briscoes instead. Eddie Edwards issues threats.

Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t want Mia Yim coming in and making a name off of her but Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans come in. Steelz offers to let Purrazzo at ringside for Evans vs. Yim next week.

Chris Sabin vs. Frankie Kazarian

Kazarian runs him over with a shoulder to start and grabs a headlock on the mat. Back up and a headlock takeover puts us in about the same spot so Sabin goes after the arm as we hear about Kazarian’s history in the company. The headlock takes Sabin back down but he fights up in a hurry and tosses Kazarian outside in a big crash. Back in and a high crossbody hits King, setting up a hard clothesline for two.

The crossarm choke goes on for a bit, followed by a quick German suplex. Kazarian is right back with a shot to the face, setting up a springboard spinning legdrop. The slingshot DDT gets two more on Sabin but he’s right back with a running boot to the face. Kazarian tries to go up but gets belly to back superplexed back down. Back up and stereo crossbodies put both of them down but Honor No More runs in and decks Kazarian for the DQ at 10:25.

Rating: B-. This is a match that was going to work because of the talent involved but the ending didn’t help things. It was nice to have Kazarian back for a one off as he looks as good in the ring as he ever has been. Odds are the ensuing tag match should be good as well, while also giving Honor No More something better to do.

Post match the big beatdown is on so Honor No More poses.

Post break Honor No More rants about how Impact has no respect. Heath and Rhino come in for the yelling and likely match setup.

Shera/Raj Singh vs. Bhupinder Gujjar/W. Morrissey

Singh and Gujjar start things off with Gujjar hitting a dropkick followed by a Sling Blade. It’s already off to Morrissey for a shot to the face before it’s right back to Gujjar for the slingshot elbow. Shera gets in a shot from behind though and Gujjar is in trouble for the first time. Gujjar belly to belly suplexes his way to freedom though and the hot tag brings in Morrissey to clean house. The powerbomb is broken up by Shera as everything breaks down. Morrissey chokeslams Raj and the middle rope spear gives Gujjar the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C. I can see the potential in Gujjar, but at some point he needs to do something other than feuding with Shera and Singh. The story is pretty much little more than Singh wanting Gujjar to be on his team but Gujjar keeps saying no, repeat for several weeks. There is something to Gujjar, but he needs to get out of this story already.

Moose is ready for his tag match next week, whether or not Sami Callihan is out to get him. He knows what Sami is doing but here is Steve Maclin, Moose’s partner next week, to tell him to be ready. The lights flicker but no one is here.

Here is what’s coming next week.

Briscoes/Josh Alexander vs. Violent By Design

Alexander and Deaner start things off with an exchange of arm control until Deaner grabs a headlock. That’s reversed into an armdrag into an armbar before Jay comes in to stomp away in the corner. Mark comes in and gets taken into the corner though, allowing Young to choke away. That earns him a backdrop and everything breaks down, with Jay hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Mark adds the Bang Bang Elbow and we take a break.

Back with Young elbowing Jay in the back but Jay gets over for the tag to Alexander without much trouble. That lets Alexander hammer away on Young in the corner but a Deaner cheap shot puts Alexander down again. Alexander’s neck gets caught in the corner for a dropkick to the back, leaving his nose busted.

A backbreaker/neckbreaker combination gets two on Alexander but he fights out of trouble without much effort. The hot tag brings in Mark to clean house and the Froggy Bow gets two on Young. Jay gets to clean house and there’s Redneck Boogey for two on Deaner. Young gets in a flag pole shot to Mark so the Deaner DDT can get two. Everything breaks down and Deaner gets in a hockey mask shot to Mark, setting up Young’s piledriver for the pin 17:09.

Rating: B. I can go for having Violent By Design in a six man tag like this as they should know how to cheat to win. While I don’t need to see them get another title shot, they can be used to boost things up a bit on the way to the Slammiversary main event. Other than that, the Briscoes are gearing up for the big title match against the Good Brothers, while Alexander wasn’t really a factor here, making it kind of a pointless, yet still good, match.

Overall Rating: C+. There are some good parts to the show and I like the Honor No More stuff getting a little more attention. We also had some Slammiversary matches moved forward and I could go for seeing where some of the stories go. Some of the matches need some more work, but this was a solid enough step towards the pay per view and had enough good action to go with it.

Results
Trey Miguel b. Alex Shelley – Crucifix
Masha Slamovich b. Havok – Snow Plow
Jordynne Grace b. Chelsea Green – Grace Driver
Frankie Kazarian b. Chris Sabin via DQ when Honor No More interfered
Bhupinder Gujjar/W. Morrissey b. Raj Singh/Shera – Middle rope spear to Singh
Violent By Design b. Briscoes/Josh Alexander – Piledriver to Mark

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I mean….kind of.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-joe-gacy-roman-reigns/

NXT LVL Up
Date: May 20, 2022
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Sudu Shaw, Nigel McGuinness

We’re off a pretty hot ending on Smackdown and hopefully at least a little bit of that can carry over here. Other than that though, there is always the chance to run down Sasha Banks and Naomi again, because doing it on national TV wasn’t enough. And there might even be some wrestling thrown in. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Javier Bernal vs. Bryson Montana

Montana was the last man standing in Ivy Nile’s challenge a few weeks back. They fight over arm control to start with Montana flipping out and staring at Bernal a bit. A side slam plants Bernal but he fights out of an over the shoulder backbreaker. Some kicks to the leg put Montana down and a Codebreaker finishes Montana at 4:11.

Rating: C. This was all about Montana, which makes the loss a bit more annoying. Montana is certainly a physical beast and it is a bit questionable to have him lose here. At the end of the day, Bernal isn’t someone who has done anything of note in NXT but he can beat Montana in a short match. Maybe they see something in Bernal, but it hasn’t exactly been showcased so far.

Ivy Nile vs. Yulisa Leon

Valentina Feroz is here with Leon. Feeling out process to start with Nile winning a test of strength without much effort. Nile takes her down into a headscissors and drags Leon away from the ropes in a smart move. Leon slips out and fires off some forearms against the ropes, which seem to stagger Nile for a change. A neck crank is reversed into a neckbreaker though and Nile hits a running forearm in the corner. Leon comes back with a slam but Nile rolls through and grabs the dragon sleeper for the tap at 5:19.

Rating: C. They were trying something here with Leon but it is pretty clear that Nile is on her way to the top of the division so she isn’t losing here. Leon getting in a few shots to the face to rock Nile was a little surprising though they were only going to get her so far. Now just get to the point with Nile, who shouldn’t be on a show like this one.

Josh Briggs vs. Quincy Elliott

Brooks Jensen is here with Briggs. Elliott takes him into the corner for some hip gyrating but Briggs manages to get Elliott on the middle rope. The running right hand rocks Elliott but Briggs makes the mistake of high fiving Jensen and hurts his hand on the cast. Back in and Elliott runs over and a quickly broken neck crank goes on.

The splash to the back sets up a waistlock but Briggs is up again. One heck of an elbow to the face rocks Briggs, setting up an abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Briggs avoids a Banzai Drop and hits a big boot into a side slam. Back up and Briggs hits a lariat for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C-. I still don’t get nearly as much out of Elliott as NXT seems to but maybe there is something to him that I’m not getting. He is big and can move, but the dancing and gyrating is only going to get him so far. I’m still not sure Briggs and Jensen haven’t gotten much further, though it isn’t surprising to see them sticking around as they’re good at what they do.

Overall Rating: C. Another week that just comes and goes, which shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. The wrestling is completely adequate without being something that is going to make me interested most weeks. We see a lot of these people on NXT every week and they aren’t that great in the first place. It is still hard to get that annoyed at a 29 minute show, but it’s also one of those shows that has no impact whatsoever.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: November 20, 2007
Location: St. Pete’s Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving week and CM Punk is still ECW World Champion, having retained the title at Survivor Series over Miz and John Morrison. That means he needs a fresh challenger, and Miz getting a singles shot might be about as good as they can do. It might not be fresh, but I’ll take that over Big Daddy V. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

There is a big Thanksgiving spread around ringside so things can be a bit more festive.

CM Punk vs. Kenny Dykstra

Non-title. Punk goes after the arm to start and takes him down for a running legdrop. The tiger bomb backbreaker gives Punk two but it’s too early for the GTS. Instead, Dykstra takes his head off with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back. Punk jawbreaks his way to freedom but Dykstra knocks him right back down. Punk fights up again and knocks Dykstra off the top, setting up a high crossbody for two. The springboard clothesline gets the same but Dykstra manages to send him into the post to cut him off again. That’s too much for Punk, who kicks him in the leg and hits the GTS for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here as Punk picks up a win over someone who shouldn’t be giving him that much of a challenge. Bringing in more and more names is one of the best things that ECW can do, if nothing else to see who might stick. Punk is still kind of floating around without a major opponent at the moment, so sending him out there for a one off match is fine.

We recap Kane beating up Matt Striker last week.

Here is Elijah Burke in the ring for a chat and he has the newest debuting ECW star.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Tommy Dreamer

That’s a surprise, though the gold hair is still awful. Benjamin takes him down and hammers away, setting up the catapult to send Dreamer throat first into the bottom rope. Dreamer fights out of a cravate but gets knocked down into the corner. The cravate goes on again and it’s a backbreaker for two on Dreamer. Back up and a bulldog plants Benjamin, who is fine enough to pull him off the middle rope. The jumping Downward Spiral finishes for Benjamin.

Rating: D+. Benjamin getting a renewed singles push is a good thing but that gold hair is going to be the end of any value he has. There are things that just do not work and that is what seems likely with suddenly having a big yellow blob on his head. Benjamin is an athletic marvel and that should be enough without the hair being the focus.

Jesse/Festus vs. Deuce N Domino

Miz and John Morrison are on commentary and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. The bell rings and Festus snaps as Jesse takes Deuce down. Domino comes in and gets armdragged so it’s right back to Deuce for a double arm crank. Commentary seems to approve of Cherry as Jesse punches Domino out of the air. The hot tag brings in Festus as Miz and Morrison desperately look for a weakness. House is cleaned and it’s a rocket launcher clothesline to finish Deuce.

Rating: C. I could go for more of the tag division starting to pick up and if ECW and Smackdown are sharing one set of titles, it could work out well. ECW might be able to put together a team here and there and if you can put some Smackdown teams on ECW for the sake of some flavor, good for them.

Miz and Morrison aren’t worried.

Matt Striker and Big Daddy V are ready to eat Kane.

Kevin Thorn vs. Nunzio

Thorn has new gear and short, slightly spiked hair for a rather bad look. Nunzio gets taken down and pummeled in the head to start, only to get caught in an over the shoulder backbreaker. Thorn dropping down to his knees makes Nunzio bounce hard, setting up the Original Sin for the fast pin. Total squash.

Kelly Kelly and Layla got in an argument after last week’s ECW. It turned into a food fight.

Here is Layla for a chat. She is thankful for a few things, like being so much better than Kelly Kelly. Cue Kelly to pie Layla and a bigger food fight, courtesy of the Thanksgiving table, ensues.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Matt Striker/Big Daddy V

The double clubbering is on to start because there are no tags. V belly to belly slams him down and there’s the mounting so Striker can talk trash. Striker drops an elbow but Kane pops up with the uppercuts. With that not working, a double clothesline staggers V and the top rope clothesline really staggers him. A big boot puts V on the floor and the chokeslam finishes Striker.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again, as it wasn’t a long match and they didn’t do much other than have Kane beat up Big Daddy V and then pin the lame manager. That makes Kane look good and he would be fine for a future title shot against Punk, though I don’t think they go that route at the moment. At least the Big Daddy V push seems to be over, at least for the time being.

Post match V comes in to beat Kane down again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Totally skippable show this week and nothing that you need to see. ECW isn’t terrible these days, but it is often kind of an uninteresting show where you would be better off just reading the results. Other than Kane and Punk, there isn’t anyone who feels like a star around here and you absolutely know what you’re getting with Kane almost every week. ECW feels like the third rate show and WWE isn’t doing anything to make that feeling go away. They certainly didn’t this week, as this was 45 minutes of very little.

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FTF X
Date: October 4, 2019
Location: Oakland Metro Operahouse, Oakland, California
Commentator: Joe Brody

This is from Hoodslam, and to give you an idea of what is going on here, one of the company’s mottos is “don’t bring your f****** kids”. In this case, the FTF stands for F*** THE FANS and this card features Drugz Bunny and the Stoner Brothers (Rick and Scott). I have no idea what I’m getting myself into here so let’s get to it.

Note that I have never seen anything from this promotion before so I have no idea on storylines or characters.

A masked man in black and white tells us about an upcoming show in Sacramento.

The opening video talks about reality and features people smoking, uh, something illegal in various states, and lifting weights. This however, I believe meaning the show, is real.

The house band wants us to be censored excited. Music is played.

Here is our host, Broseph Joe Brody, who loves Axe body spray and Nickelback. You might remember him as AJ Kirsch from one of the last seasons of Tough Enough but he’s a bit better suited here. Middle fingers and F*** YOU BROs ensue as the fans either love the guy or want to kill him. He welcomes us to F*** THE FANS, which is what the fans start chanting. After running down the main event, he introduces the band (Squad Stewart), which has to be cut off from singing Rod Stewart. This is the accidental phenomenon, because this is HOODSLAM!

Broseph gives the fans some booze as the band plays some more, this time about how you shouldn’t bring your f****** kids.

Our first match is a drowning match so here is Otto Von Clutch as our special lifeguard.

Stoner Brothers vs. The Caution

That would be Rick Scott/Scott Rick (I said that right) Stoner (I think you get the idea) vs. Anton Vorhees/Dark Sheik. The Brothers come out to a song called Stonerized and are both smoking in and out of the ring. Since the referee is a lifeguard, we’ll start with a whistle instead of a bell. The Caution is knocked down to start and Vorhees is tossed into a powerbomb. They head outside to keep up the beating but it’s too early for the drowning (in one of the water filled buckets).

Anton gets some water in his mouth to spit in the Brothers’ eyes (Brody: “Do you know how badly water in the eyes burns? Shut up.”) and uses Scott as a launchpad for a hurricanrana to Rick. The drowning attempt is blocked but so is Rick’s double chokeslam attempt. Scott gets his brother’s head out of the water, allowing Rick to toss Sheik back into the ring but she sticks the landing and kicks Rick in the head.

Sheik gets powerbombed over the top into a German suplex as Brody insists on safety third. Back up and Sheik hits a top rope stomp onto Scott, setting up a Codebreaker to Rick. Multiple elbow drops keep the Brothers down but Scott is up with a double clothesline to the back of the head. Anton fights out of the water bucket and the Brothers hit each other by mistake.

Hold on though as he has an idea: a trip to the back lets him come back with a blue tunic and Link hat, which lets him breathe underwater (if you’re not a Zelda fan, ignore this). After the Zora splash, Anton has to save Sheik from being drowned, allowing her to hit a low blow. Scott is drowned for the win at 11:12.

Rating: C+. The stoner stuff isn’t for me, but the Zelda references had me cracking up more than once. If nothing else, this gives me an idea of what to expect from the show and I’m looking forward to it a lot more, so well done on the opener. The blue tunic was the icing on the cake and I had a great time with this, as ridiculous as it was.

Post match, Rick gives Scott the Heimlich to bring him back to life, with even Brody not being sure about that.

Brody gives the fans the code word in case the cops show up.

Best Athlete In The East Bay Title: Sweet Boone vs. Matt Carlos

Boone is defending (the golden fanny pack) and this is an I Quit match. Brody doesn’t seem to get Carlos, who waves his arms and head around a lot. On the other hand, he does get Boone dog Little BJ, who happens to be invisible. Boone is also the sheriff so he deputizes some fans. Carlos drives him into the ropes to start but gets hit in the face for his efforts.

Thankfully the referee remembers that grabbing the rope means nothing, with Brody talking about how there are no pinfalls or countouts, before realizing that they never have countouts around here. Boone pulls him down into a pretty bad looking ankle lock, which is countered into a headlock with some right hands to the face. A crucifix doesn’t get Boone anywhere so he switches to something like a reverse Koji Clutch. Boone switches to a half nelson, which is pretty easily reversed into a Crossface.

Boone says Booners Never Quit so he slips out and grabs the bad (I think we might have an intentional pattern here) ankle lock again. Back up and they go to the apron, with the fans shoving Boone back up from falling into the crowd. Boone switches places with him and dropkicks Carlos tot he floor, where there is no catch. A flip dive from the apron (complete with finger guns) drops Carlos again (Brody: “And f*** the fans, not of them can’t see.”). Carlos is back up with a DDT onto the apron and steps on Boone’s head for another NO.

Brody laughs at a fan for trying a CARLOS chant as Carlos goes to get something. This time it’s lighter fluid but Boone takes it away….and pours it on himself. Carlos is a bit freaked out but gets more annoyed when the referee gets knocked down. With Boone knocked down again, Carlos heads backstage and comes back with….a knife. They fight over said knife, but it eventually gets knocked to the floor.

The referee is FINALLY helped up and here is a former champion (Richard Schhhary. Get it?), whose arm is bandaged (after Little BJ bit him). Therefore, Schhhary steals Little BJ and puts him in a bag, which he then covers in lighter fluid. Brody: “YOU CAN’T! YOU WON’T! YOU WOULDN’T!” Boone begs him not to do it but since he can’t go through the ropes for the save, Carlos grabs a Crossface and Boone quits at 18:48 so he can save the dog.

Rating: C. This went WAY too long and it killed what momentum they had. You knew the dog was going to be involved in the finish in some way and they telegraphed the heck out of it. Granted on a show like this, teasing the invisible dog being lit on fire is something that fits perfectly. Boone and Carlos didn’t do much for me and the match needed to be shorter, but it could have been worse.

Schhhary steals the dog anyway and Carlos celebrates for a LONG time. Boone isn’t done though, and wants Schhhary in a beard vs. mustache match in two weeks.

Golden Gig Title: El Chupacabra vs. Joey Nuggs

Chupacabra is defending (with the title represented by a golden razor blade necklace), I believe the top title in the promotion. The referee, named Wiggles, gets a special entrance as well. Nuggs is a rather large karate guy, who doesn’t look like he does much karate. Chupacabra has a long entrance but hold on as here is Da Squaaad (that’s how it’s spelled).

They want to make this a bit bigger, so let’s make it a Dog Collar match. After a long time spent setting up the collar, Chupacabra chops away to start but gets powered into the corner without much effort. A knee to the ribs cuts Chupacabra down and it’s already time to choke on the ropes. Chupacabra slugs away but gets dropped with an elbow (or COMBO BREAKER according to Brody) as a fight breaks out in the crowd.

Nuggs takes him outside for a slam on the floor but Chupacabra is right back in to slug away. Some Cannonballs in the corner crush Nuggs and Chupacabra goes up, only to get pulled down by the collar. Chupacabra is able to send him back out to the apron but gets knocked down hard.

Nuggs goes up (with Brody telling the fans not to touch him) and misses a splash 9with the camera cutting away on the lack of impact for some reason. The referee starts the count, with Brody telling fans to shout random number to confuse him. Chupacabra is back up with Sliced Bread for two so he chokes Nuggs with the collar for the pin at 12:12.

Rating: C-. Much like the previous match, this one went on too long and it overstayed its welcome. The collar stuff was used, but they could have had a similar match without the gimmick in place. I’m not sure if this feels like a top level title match, but then again I don’t think this is your normal promotion. Neither guy looked particularly impressive though, and that hurt things a good bit.

Post match Nuggs, with his throat all messed up, yells at Brody and the fans for daring to try to talk to him after he got choked out. A lot of swearing ensues, with even Brody thinking it’s a bit much.

The referee comes out for the next match and apparently has to dance whenever Brody sings James Brown.

Intergalactic Tag Team Titles: Drugz Bunny/Cereal Man vs. Da Squaaad

Bunny/Man are defending (the titles have skulls in the middle) and the Squaaad is Hip Hop Harry/D-Rogue/Kenny K/Shakira Spears. Cereal is about five cereal mascots mixed together, and comes out to a song about holding out for a hero with several cereal properties. Bunny on the other hand is The Rabbit With A Habit and pours out some white powder before the match.

Hold on though, as the Squaaad says that since this is their show (I guess?), we’re doing this 4-2. The champs start fast and hit Harry with a double flapjack, followed by a DDT from Cereal. A legdrop hits Harry so the rest of the Squaaad comes in for the save. Brody: “All these f****** gimmicks.” Kenny comes in with a backbreaker to Bunny and it’s D-Rogue coming in to run him over again. Harry adds a springboard back elbow and Shakira comes in for some stomping.

A backdrop finally gets Bunny out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Cereal to clean house. Cereal hits a sidewalk slam on Harry and bulldogs Kenny onto him as everything breaks down. Bunny bicycle kicks Kenny down and Cereal Stuns Harry for…..not the pin as the Squaaad says not so fast. See, D-Rogue forgot: it’s elimination rules (for Da Squaaad, not for the champs). Kenny stands on Cereal’s back and then drops down on him with a splash for two. A running knee in the corner sets up a Cannonball for two more on Cereal as frustration is setting in.

Cereal gets up a boot in the corner though and it’s a butterfly suplex to give him a breather. The double tag brings in Bunny and Spears, the latter of whom gets kicked down. D-Rogue comes in for the save and slams Bunny, setting up a moonsault from Kenny (which lands on Bunny’s head) for two, with Cereal making the save. A Hart Attack gets rid of Spears though and we’re down to 2-2. We get the big staredown and Bunny gives Kenny an RKO. Cereal is taken down though and the Big Rig hits Bunny for the pin and the titles at 14:05.

Rating: B-. This is the same idea you have seen time after time and that is not a bad idea. It has been done for years because it is something that works so well. This is a case of screwing the fans over and it worked well, because it is a classic concept. Fans are not going to like cheaters and that is what happened here, especially after they lost in the first place. Good stuff here, even with the joke from the champs losing its spark pretty fast.

Oh and one more thing: Hip Hop Harry only has one leg. Not too shabby.

Post match Brody is a big scared of the Squaaad but does give a bit of serious analysis to what we just saw.

With Da Squaaad gone, Brody thanks the ban and gets a big barrel and beach ball for some beer pong with the fans. Some fans shoot from the crowd and get a beer if they hit. Nice way to fill in some time as the band plays. Brody has some beer of his own and suggests that he’ll have more later.

Since the main event is big, he brings out Wonder Dave as his guest commentator.

Rumble Of Rankings Ramifications

This is a Royal Rumble with 30(ish, Brody’s term) entities involved and the winner getting a Golden Gig shot next month. Glorious Banana a man in a banana suit who comes out to Robert Roode’s old theme, is in at #1 and Funnybone, a guy in skeleton paint, is in at #2 and we have 90 second intervals. They forearm it out and trade shoulders with Funnybone getting the better of things. Otto Von Clutch is in at #3 and gets in a staredown with Funnybone. That’s fine with Funnybone, who knocks him down but Banana is back up for some double teaming in the corner.

Batmanuel (I think you get the idea) is in at #4 and gets in a staredown with Von Clutch, whose offer of an alliance isn’t accepted. A running shoulder in the corner has Von Clutch in trouble and it’s Marcelo Montoya in at #5 (with the fans providing the buzzer sounds) for a springboard knee to Batmanuel. The fans chant SAFETY THIRD as everyone brawls until D-Rogue is in at #6.

Batmanuel was put out somewhere in there and Joey Smoak is in at #7. Brody: “I just heard a fan say don’t bruise the banana. That joke was a lot of things but one thing it wasn’t was appealing.” Smoak is sent to the apron but not out and it’s James C (thankfully not a Jim Cornette parody) in at #8. The smoking James comes in and offers fans his cigarette until it’s Johnny Drinko Butabi is in at #9 as the ring is getting way too full.

Smoak is on the floor, though it isn’t clear if he is out, even as Funnybone chops at a bunch of people. Batmanuel is back in and it’s Juice Lee at in #10 as Banana is out. Von Clutch is out as well as the ring is a bit less full. Brittany Wonder (no word on if she is any relation to Wonder Dave, or Wonder Boy, the latter of whom has nothing to do with wrestling) is in at #11 and gets to clean house, including a spinning DDT to James C.

Big B is in at #12 and Batmanuel is kicked out for an elimination. The fans are VERY happy with that, though not so enthusiastic when they find out Montoya was eliminated off camera. Neil “The Thrill” Harper is in at #13 and everything settles back down. Otis The Gimp is in at #14 as this match is starting to die a bit. After another batch of nothing, Christopher Torres is in at #15.

HBKen (and yes he has his own version of Shawn Michaels’ theme) is in at #16 and yes, he is based on the Ken from Street Fighter. Commentary thinks someone might have been eliminated but isn’t sure who so we’ll move on to Brutal Bob Hands in at #17. Hands, who is rather small, hits a chokeslam and then tosses Torres. Brittany is left laying on the mat and it’s Master Eriks (a ringmaster) in at #18.

Harper is tossed as there must have been some eliminations off camera as the ring is nowhere near full enough. Hands and James are tossed and it’s Matt Carlos in at #19. Funnybone is still in and hits a bid give onto a bunch of people. Then he does it again for a bonus but makes sure to go through the ropes. Then he grabs Banana, who is still at ringside with a bunch of other people, as Lee is knocked off the top and into a moonsault onto the pile on the floor. That’s not an elimination as he went through the ropes, even as it’s Hip Hop Harry in at #20.

Eriks is out and it’s Kenny K in at #21 to keep Da Squaaad strong. Bison Braddock is in at #22 and commentary makes a correction by saying that Lee WAS eliminated earlier. Brody says Braddock is #21 and I can’t imagine it matters that much. Shakira Spears is in at #23 to complete Da Squaaad as you can tell the people in the ring are getting a bit tired. Richard Schhhary is in at #24 and starts in with some paper cuts to be a real….never mind.

Drugs Bunny is in at #25 and maybe he can get things hopping. Big B is out and commentary ignores it as Bart-Man is in at #26. Simpsons jokes about as Bart-Man chokes Carlos and it’s Sweet Boone in at #27. He goes straight after Schhhary and gets rid of him, only to give chance and eliminate himself. Steven Tresario is in at #28 and Otis likes Shakira chopping him. Things slow down again….and it’s Team Rocket (Jesse and James, complete with Pokemon speech and costumes) in at #29/30.

As the Pokemon jokes abound, Thicc Martel, the Plus Sized Model (I laughed) is in at #31 to complete the field (I think?). Tersario is out and it’s….Broseph Joe Brody in at #32. He jumps over the top rope and is thrown out by James, sending him into a great rant. Team Rocket tossed out Martel and there’s a 3D to Carlos. Spears eliminates Drinko but and there goes Carlos with him.

There goes Bart-Man but Spears spears Team Rocket down. Bunny tosses Spears though and we’re down to Bunny, Jesse, James and Funnybone. A low blow isn’t enough to get rid of Bunny as he skins the cat back in, only to have James stomp him in the face. James actually tosses Bunny but it’s Funnybone up with a double noggin knocker. A double clothesline finally gets rid of Funnybone though and Team Rocket shares the win at 53:03.

Rating: D. I love a good Royal Rumble but that was not the case here. This went on WAY too long and the lack of acknowledging a bunch of the eliminations didn’t help. There were a few jokes that worked (Thicc Martel was hilarious) and Brody’s rant after being eliminated was great, but this went far too long and the jokes weren’t frequent enough to keep my interest. Cut the intervals down to a minute (at most) and it’s better, but for a show that is supposed to be a lot of fun, I was badly tuning out by the end out of pure boredom.

Brody thanks us for coming out and hits the catchphrase one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a weird one, as the concept is a lot of fun and there were some genuine laugh/cheer out loud moments on this show. The Zelda stuff and Thicc Martel were good gags and the Steinerized parody was downright inspired. It is a feeling that works really well, though then you get to the problem: this show is three hours and twenty minutes long.

Now I can get that this would be very different as it’s a party atmosphere (and the booze/various substances probably helped) and way more fun in person, but my goodness this show needed to be about 30 (or more) minutes shorter. That main event was pretty close to horrible and I was begging for the thing to end. At some point the thing needs to wrap up and this show didn’t seem to get that at times. There is a lot of fun to be had, but this needed to be about two and a half hours max, not pushing three and a half.

One more thing: if this is something that you might want to check out (and it is REALLY fun at times), note that it is absolutely an adult show with a lot of language and crude jokes. It’s definitely something you need to be in the right company for, as hearing/seeing some of this out of context/by someone you might not want seeing it could be quite the problem.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Make sure you check out some recent reviews.

NXT – May 24, 2022

Monday Night Raw – November 19, 2007

New York Wrestling Connection Private Party 17

Dynamite – May 25, 2022

Ouch: NXT Star Out Of Action With Injury, Tournament Changed As A Result.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/ouch-nxt-star-action-injury-tournament-changed-result/

Note On The Details Of AEW Star’s Contract With The Company.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/note-details-aew-stars-contract-company/

Important Update On The Future Of WWE’s Brand Split.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/important-update-future-wwes-brand-split/

Bid Him Adieu: Former WWE Star Announces Upcoming Retirement Match.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/bid-adieu-former-wwe-star-announces-upcoming-retirement-match/

VIDEO: WWE Hall Of Famer Undergoes Major Double Surgery.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/video-wwe-hall-famer-undergoes-major-double-surgery/

VIDEO: NXT Announces Possible Debut/Return Of Star.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/video-nxt-announces-possible-debut-return-star/

Double Shot? WWE And AEW May Share A Major Day Later This Year.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-aew-may-share-major-day-later-year/

Interesting Update On Stephanie McMahon’s WWE Future.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/interesting-update-stephanie-mcmahons-wwe-future/

Crown Him: New Match Set For AEW Double Or Nothing.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/crown-new-match-set-aew-double-nothing/

International Team Makes Surprise Debut On AEW Dynamite, Lays Out Champions.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/international-team-makes-surprise-debut-aew-dynamite-lays-champions/

WRESTLING RUMORS: Update On Identity Of Soon To Debut Star.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-rumors-update-identity-soon-debut-star/

AEW Announces Star To Miss Time Due To Injury, Off Weekend Appearances.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/aew-announces-star-miss-time-due-injury-off-weekend-appearances/

Alexa Bliss Reveals Death Threat From Fan.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/alexa-bliss-reveals-death-threat-fan/

It’s A Big Difference: WWE Makes A Strange Name Change For A SmackDown Star.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/big-difference-wwe-makes-pretty-strange-name-change-smackdown-star/

WATCH: NXT Star Announces She Has Multiple Knee Injuries, To Miss Time.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/double-ouch-nxt-star-announces-torn-mcl-knee-injury/

WRESTLING RUMORS: WWE May Move Money In The Bank Over Poor Ticket Sales.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-rumors-wwe-may-move-money-bank-poor-ticket-sales/

As always, hit up the comments section to chat about what is going on and get on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page.

Dynamite
Date: May 25, 2022
Location: Michelob Ultra Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Excalibur, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

It’s Double Or Nothing weekend and that means it is time to get in the last Dynamite before the pay per view. Therefore, we nee to find out who will be in the finals of the Men’s Owen Hart Foundation tournament, which should make for some interesting action both tonight and on Sunday. It’s also the third anniversary of the first AEW show so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Wardlow vs. Shawn Spears

In a cage with MJF as the referee and Wardlow has to win here to get MJF on Sunday. Wardlow is still handcuffed to start so Spears gets in a few shots, allowing MJF to stomp away in the corner. The double teaming is on, including sending Wardlow into the steps. MJF stops to talk too much trash though and gets hit in the face, which means Wardlow can drop Spears.

The Swanton connects but MJF won’t count, allowing Spears to get up. One heck of a chair shot hits MJF by mistake and Spears knows what he’s done. Wardlow pops up and it’s a four movement Powerbomb Symphony with another referee coming in to count the pin on the done Spears at 6:58.

Rating: C. This was more of an angle than a match and they did it very well. The last few weeks have done a great job of having Wardlow slowly reel MJF in and the big massacre can take place on Sunday. At this point, they can have MJF get in some cheap shots and cheat to take over, but then it is time for the Powerbomb Symphony that everyone has been waiting on.

Post match Wardlow goes for MJF but security runs in so MJF can escape.

JR and commentary offers condolences on the Texas shooters and say this has to stop.

The Jericho Appreciation Society attack a backstage worker with a fireball for wearing a Jon Moxley shirt.

Tony Schiavone brings CM Punk and Hangman Page for a face to face meeting. Tony goes over the stealing finishers and Punk says he’s ready to take the title. Page says there is nothing Punk can do to take the title from him. That makes Punk think Page is taking this personally. There are a lot of people backstage who want their shot and for Punk, this is just business.

Page wants to light a pipe bomb and roll it right up to Punk’s feet, where the Pipe Bomb promo was dropped in the first place. After pausing for the CM PUNK chants, Page says he can’t do it because he respects Page. The thing is Page doesn’t think Punk knows what it means to be a champion, because it is about more than being in this ring.

It’s also about what you do when no one else is watching, which isn’t what Punk has been about since he got here. On Sunday, Page is defending AEW from Punk, which gets a big reaction. Punk says Page is going to have to do something about it, because Punk paved the road here. Page built the house with trees that Punk chopped down and he gave Punk the blueprint. Page will shake his hand on Sunday, and he’ll do it right now too. It’s a right hand instead and that looked like it made some nice contact.

Video on Anna Jay vs. Jade Cargill for the TBS Title.

Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley vs. Private Party

William Regal and Chris Jericho are on commentary, with Jericho demanding that the crowd be quiet because they don’t have the rights to sing his song. It’s a brawl to start with Quen hitting a moonsault press for two on Moxley. Kingston comes in and beats on Quen but does stop to yell at Moxley. Said Moxley comes back in to plant Kassidy and we take a break

Back with Private Party taking over and knocking Moxley and Kingston to the floor. Quen’s shooting star press gets two on Moxley, who pops up and starts hammering away. The hammer and anvil elbows crush Quen as Kingston makes Kassidy tap to the eastern stretch. The Paradigm Shift finishes Quen at 7:25.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why Private Party, who has done nothing in weeks, was getting in this much offense on Kingston and Moxley but at least the ending had the two stars look dominant. Not quite as squashish as it should have been but they got the finish right. Kingston needs to switch back to his regular gear though, as the basketball shorts look wasn’t working so well.

Post match the Jericho Appreciation Society rushes the ring but referees break it up.

Video on Owen Hart, with wrestlers talking about what the tournaments would have meant to him. The people still involved in the tournament are ready to win.

Ring Of Honor Tag Team Title Roppongi Vice vs. FTR

FTR is defending and Caprice Coleman is on commentary. Romero shoulders Wheeler down a few times to start and the threat of a cross armbreaker sends Wheeler over to the ropes. Back in and Dax gets chopped by Trent, only to reverse him to show the proper technique. Wheeler comes back in and gets half and half suplexes for two as we take a break.

We come back with Wheeler diving over for the tag off to Harwood to punch away. Some rolling German suplexes get two on Trent with Romero making the save. Double knees drop Harwood again but Strong Zero is broken up. A small package and victory roll give Trent two each but Vice is right back with Strong Zero for two with Wheeler finally making the save…..and New Japan’s Jeff Cobb and Great O’Khan running in for the double DQ at 10:21.

Rating: C+. This was turning into a heck of a match until the Forbidden Door ending took it away. Vice isn’t one of my favorite teams but they were hanging in there with the best team in the world. I do like that FTR survived Strong Zero before the interference, which keeps the champs looking a bit stronger. Run this back in the future perhaps.

House is cleaned, though O’Khan’s running cutter doesn’t exactly connect clean. Both teams are laid out and Trent/Wheeler are sent through tables. Cobb and O’Khan hold up the titles.

The Hardys talk about how they have a lot of similarities to the Young Bucks. They came from religious families and didn’t drink of smoke. That’s what the stories end though because the Hardys fought up to become one of the most revolutionary tag teams ever. The Bucks are talented, but they are seen as Hardy cosplayers. Now they’re approaching GOAT status, with Jeff making goat noises. They’re beyond their prime but they’ll still never be better than the Hardys. The Bucks weren’t even better babies than them! The saying is never meet your heroes, but in this case, the Bucks will never beat their heroes.

Ricky Starks vs. Swerve Strickland vs. Jungle Boy

Non-title. Starks bails to the floor to start but runs back in for the early exchange of rollups. With Starks being sent outside, Jungle Boy gets tripped to the floor with Swerve joining them. Starks takes them both down and we go to a break. Back with Jungle Boy hitting a running hurricanrana off the apron for two back inside, with Starks making the save. Swerve clears Starks out and sends Jungle Boy into the corner.

They go up top with Swerve being poisonranaed off….and landing on his feet, much to Jungle Boy’s shock. Starks kicks Swerve in the face and takes Jungle Boy down for two, with the kickout leaving him shocked. Roshambo to Swerve is blocked so Starks goes to the eyes and hits the Roshambo, only to get Snare Trapped. A long crawl gets Starks to the ropes so Jungle Boy pulls him back to the middle and puts it on again. Swerve breaks that up and hits the Swerve Stomp to finish Starks at 9:38.

Rating: B. This was the kind of action packed match that you should have expected from these three and I can always go with Swerve winning. What matters here is they gave you a reason to believe that we might see new champions while also giving us a good match this time. The triple threat match on Sunday should be good and the preview has me more invested in it than I was coming in.

Post match Powerhouse Hobbs comes in for the beatdown on Swerve but here is Luchasaurus, who can’t overpower Hobbs. This brings out Keith Lee so the brawl can be on, with Lee clearing the ring and hitting a slingshot corkscrew dive, which he can just do.

Dan Lambert laughs off Tay Conti and Sammy Guevara breaking up the TNT Title. Since American Top Team has won every belt there is, he has the belt makers on standby, so the new title will be unveiled on Friday. Lambert is relieved because it means Conti and Guevara can’t do anything with it.

Here is Thunder Rosa for a chat and for once she doesn’t have face paint on. This is the real her and she wanted people to see what a champion looked like. That’s what Serena Deeb will never look like, even though Rosa used to look up to her. On Sunday, the war paint is coming on and Rosa will make Deeb pay for the disrespect. Then theme music plays her off, even after a pretty good speech with the serious stuff working well.

Red Velvet mentions Ruby Soho, who happens to be walking by. Velvet hands her a notebook to know how to take out Kris Statlander, who might be banged up but Soho is ready without it.

Women’s Owen Hart Foundation Semifinals: Britt Baker vs. Toni Storm

The fans are split as it’s an exchange of wristlocks to start. Storm gets a headscissors on the mat but Baker switches into a neck crank, sending Storm to the ropes. A basement dropkick sends Storm outside, where she posts Baker hard. They head outside with Storm posting Baker, who sends her into the steps as we take a break. Back with Storm hitting a middle ropes DDT and a running hip attack.

Storm Zero is countered into an Air Raid Crash for two, which draws out Jamie Hater. Baker doesn’t want that so Storm grabs a rollup into a release German suplex to send Baker outside. A tornado DDT off the apron plants Baker on the floor as Storm’s nose might be broken. Hayter is knocked off the apron, leaving Baker to have to break up Storm Zero again. This time it’s a rollup with Baker…kind of grazing the rope as there is no Hayter to grab her hands, for the pin at 9:22.

Rating: C+. The ending hurt this one a bit, though the likely match of Soho vs. Baker should be a good final. Baker is still one of the bigger names in the division and a win over her still means something, so go with what works and set up something big. At the same time, dang I could go for Storm winning something, just for the sake of giving her a small something more important to do.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Men’s Owen Hart Foundation Semifinals: Samoa Joe vs. Kyle O’Reilly

Non-title and Joe pounds away against the ropes to start. Joe chops him down and then beats on O’Reilly again for daring to try a comeback. O’Reilly manages to knock him down and starts in on the arm, which was banged up by Jay Lethal and Satnam Singh. The cross armbreaker can’t quite go on as we take a break.

Back with Joe slugging O’Reilly down and hitting a backsplash, setting up some kicks to the face. A hard clothesline gives Joe two but the MuscleBuster is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Joe makes the rope and strikes away to rock O’Reilly but the Rock Bottom out of the corner is broken up. That doesn’t matter for Joe, who pulls him into the Koquina Clutch to knock O’Reilly out at 12:38.

Rating: B. This is what you were probably expecting when you heard Samoa Joe vs. Kyle O’Reilly being added to the card. Joe knows how to do this submission/striking match as well as anyone and O’Reilly is either right there with him or slightly better at the moment. Joe might not be what he used to be, but he can do this match with anyone.

Adam Cole comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a good bit as it made me more interested in Double Or Nothing. There wasn’t anything on here that was great, but it worked well as a show that made me want to see their followup on Sunday. That is a hard trick to pull off but more importantly, it gave us the best AEW show in a few weeks, meaning some issues went away. This is the show they needed and they delivered.

Results
Wardlow b. Shawn Spears – Powerbomb Symphony
Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley b. Private Party – Paradigm Shift to Quen
FTR vs. Roppongi Vice went to a double DQ when Great O’Khan and Jeff Cobb interfered
Swerve Strickland b. Jungle Boy and Ricky Starks – Swerve Stomp to Starks
Britt Baker b. Toni Storm – Rollup with a grab of the ropes
Samoa Joe b. Kyle O’Reilly – Koquina Clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.