ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 11, 2007
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are officially in a new era around here as CM Punk has defeated John Morrison to become the new ECW World Champion. Odds are Morrison gets a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension, but we’ll need someone else on the way there. I’m curious to see how that goes, but they could use some other important stories around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Punk winning the ECW World Title from John Morrison last week.

Opening sequence.

Here is Armando Alejandro Estrada to introduce CM Punk. Estrada says he’s glad to have Punk as his champion because he was always a big fan. That sounds good to Punk, who has a gift for Estrada: his very own CM Punk shirt! Actually he’ll do even better than that, so Punk whips out a Sharpie and signs it. Punk wants him to try the shirt on, because now is not the time to be shy. Estrada wasn’t just lying when he said he was a big fan right? After some coaxing that borders on threatening, Punk gets him to put the shirt on over his suit.

Cue Elijah Burke to interrupt though, with Estrada saying that Burke is Punk’s opponent at Unforgiven. With Estrada gone, Burke asks if Punk is done playing dress up. Burke is here to congratulate him no the title win, but hold on because we have WHAT chants. He was the first person to see Punk’s talent and even brought him into the New Breed. That being said, Burke can see himself taking that title, because he is just flat out better than Punk at everything. Punk thinks that future is from a broke magic 8 ball, so Burke needs to look at the here and now. Burke shoves him away and gets kicked in the head to clear the ring.

Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Expose is here with Miz but the fans are behind Dreamer as he grabs a headlock to start. A running clothesline puts Miz on the floor but he’s right back in with a catapult to send Dreamer throat first into the bottom rope. Dreamer catches him on top though and it’s a superplex to bring Miz back down. There’s a catapult into the corner and a reverse DDT gives Dreamer two, as Miz gets a foot on the bottom rope. Back up and Dreamer misses a charge into the post, setting up the Reality Check to give Miz the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a great match, but they were rushing through on the way to Miz getting another win. Despite not being the most serious guy in the world, Miz is slowly being built up into a little something around here. That is something that could go somewhere, but it might be as more of an annoyance to Punk than a serious threat. Still though, that’s quite the turnaround after only being in the ring for a fairly short while.

Post match, Kelly Kelly still doesn’t look happy.

Post break, Balls Mahoney gives Kelly Kelly a teddy bear, but she leaves before she gets too emotional.

Matt Striker vs. Nunzio

Big Daddy V is here with Striker. Nunzio knocks him into the corner to start but V pulls Striker out of the way. The missed charge lets Striker grab the rollup pin.

Post match, V gorilla presses Nunzio face first onto the turnbuckle and causes him general physical damage. The Boogeyman pops up on the Titantron and reads a version of Humpty Dumpty to set up his match with Big Daddy V next week.

We look back at the reveal of Hornswoggle as Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son.

Balls Mahoney vs. Mike Knox

This is Knox’s return after a fairly lengthy absence. Mahoney works on the wrist to start and hammers away at the jaw. Knox runs him over though and pounds away as we see Extreme Expose (Brooke has the bear) watching in the back. A chinlock with a knee in Mahoney’s mouth doesn’t do Knox much good as Mahoney is right back with the snap jabs. Knox shrugs them off though and kicks Mahoney in the face for the pin.

A smiling Miz approves of the beating.

Unforgiven rundown.

We look at CM Punk winning the ECW World Title again, albeit in a different video from earlier.

CM Punk/Stevie Richards vs. Elijah Burke/Kevin Thorn

Burke drives Punk up against the ropes and we actually get a clean break. With that going nowhere, it’s off to Richards vs. Thorn, with Stevie managing to kick him down. Punk comes back in for some kicks of his own and the good guys start taking turns on Thorn. Richards finally gets taken into the corner corner and Thorn busts out a torture rack of all things.

With Richards dropped, it’s back to Burke to plant Richards in the corner. The elbow in the corner and some stomping get two on Richards and we hit the front facelock. Burke misses a charge into the corner though (WAY too common this week) and the hot tag brings in Punk to clean house. A few clotheslines set up the GTS to finish Thorn.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill tag match here with Punk getting to overcome the odds and win in the end. It keeps Punk looking strong going into his first title defense, which should be a pretty academic win, but you have to put in a bit of work. Other than that, you have Richards getting a nice little bounce back, which he needs after the loss to Thorn.

Punk stares Burke down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. As has been the case for a pretty good while now, it is clear that ECW needs some fresh blood, just for the sake of getting some new stars and stories going. Mike Knox could help that a little bit, but I’m not sure how interesting that is going to be. Punk winning is a big deal, but reheating his feud with Burke isn’t going to be the rocket up to the next level. This was a fairly uninteresting show and that’s a bad sign for the start of Punk’s title reign.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Elimination Chamber 2022
Date: February 19, 2022
Location: Jeddah Super Dome, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back on the other side of the world this time and the card is pretty stacked. There are two Elimination Chamber matches to go with three women’s matches as we get ready for Wrestlemania. That could go in more than one direction and the show seems a bit more interesting as a result. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Dominik Mysterio is here with Rey. Miz knocks him down to start and hits the early posing on the ropes. Back up and Rey headscissors him into 619 position but Miz isn’t quite ready for that. Instead Rey knocks him to the floor for the sliding splash, setting off a 619 chant. Dominik sends Miz back inside (twerp) but he breaks up something from Rey on the top. They head outside again with Miz sending him into the barricade, setting up the running kick to the face back inside.

The chinlock sets up the YES Kicks but, as usual, the big one misses. Another headscissors sends Miz into the post and there’s the top rope seated senton to drop him again. Miz is back with a DDT for two but the Skull Crushing Finale is broken up. The 619 connects so Miz has to roll outside before the top rope splash can launch.

Miz grabs a chair, earning himself a dive from Rey. Dominik grabs the chair and takes it away, so Miz fakes being shoved into the steps. That’s enough for an ejection of Dominik, but Rey counters the 619 into a cradle for the pin at 9:15, proving that Dominik is in fact worthless and a detriment.

Rating: C+. These two work well together and putting Rey out there is a good way to open any show. The fans are going to respond to him and the high flying/fast paced stuff is still more than entertaining enough to watch. Odds are this sets up Dominik beating Miz as well, because Dominik will be a thing whether you like him or not.

Post match Miz goes after Rey, which draws Dominik back in for the save. A double 619 sets up back to back frog splashes to leave Miz laying.

The opening video looks at how the Elimination Chamber is here, which sets us on the Road to WrestleMania. The rest of the matches get a look as well.

We recap Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns for Reigns’ Universal Title. Reigns is on the way to Wrestlemania and Brock Lesnar but he has to stop for a match against Goldberg, who just said he was getting a title match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg

Reigns, with the rest of the Bloodline, is defending. They stare at each other for a good while and the GOLDBERG chants are on. The big power lockup goes to Goldberg but Reigns starts punching him in the face. Goldberg is sent outside but he sends Reigns into the barricade for a breather. Back in and the spear cuts Reigns down but the Jackhammer is countered into a release Rock Bottom. The Superman Punch drops Goldberg again but Reigns’ spear is countered by Goldberg’s spear. The Jackhammer doesn’t work though as Reigns reverses into the guillotine and Goldberg is out at 5:59.

Rating: C. Happy days are here again as they can’t threaten us with this stupid match anymore. It wasn’t exactly good but it was short, which is the most important aspect of any Goldberg match. I know it would have been insane to change the title here, but it isn’t like they haven’t done something nutty with Goldberg before. This could have been far worse, which is about the benchmark for most Goldberg matches these days.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Rhea Ripley vs. Doudrop vs. Bianca Belair vs. Liv Morgan vs. Nikki Ash vs. Alexa Bliss

For the Raw Women’s Title shot at Wrestlemania. Nikki and Liv start, leaving Alexa in her pod, complete with swing (because of course). Liv gets sent into the cage, the Plexiglas and the cage floor until Doudrop is in after about two minutes. Doudrop comes in at #3 and drives Nikki into the cage over and over before cutting off Liv for trying to break it up. A missed charge sends Doudrop into the post though and Nikki is left alone in the ring as Rhea Ripley is in at #4.

The stalking is on but Ripley has to superkick Doudrop. Ripley sends Nikki into the cage and climbs the cage to pose a bit, setting up Riptide to get rid of Nikki at 6:18. Alexa Bliss is in at #5 and gets to clean house, including Insult To Injury for two on Morgan. Back up and Morgan knocks Bliss down and goes up but Doudrop shoves her off the ropes (with Morgan’s leg getting caught) for a crash. Ripley offers a distraction though and Morgan hits a sunset bomb to get rid of Doudrop at 8:51.

Bianca Belair is in at #6 to complete the field as Morgan might have hurt her knee when she got caught on the ropes. Belair hits a scary one armed gorilla press on Morgan and a handspring moonsault hits Bliss. We get the Ripley vs. Belair showdown but they stop to suplex Bliss and Belair instead (with Bliss’ dress falling onto Ripley’s face while she’s upside down). The staredown is on again and they trade some hard slaps to the face. The KOD is broken up but Morgan hits a double Codebreaker.

Bliss is back up with what looked like a running Blockbuster to Morgan, setting up Twisted Bliss for the elimination at 12:08. Bliss hits Ripley with a DDT and the KOD gives Belair the pin at 12:41, leaving us with Bliss vs. Belair. A Code Red gives Bliss two but Belair powers her down. The 450 misses but Bliss can’t hit her DDT. Instead Belair powers her up for a suplex, which is broken up as well. Another DDT is blocked so Bliss rolls her up for two. Belair has had it though and hits the KOD for the pin and the title shot at 15:35.

Rating: C+. The time was all over the place here and I believe this is the shortest Elimination Chamber match ever. The good thing is that they didn’t go nuts by having Bliss win in her return to push her straight to Wrestlemania. As much as I wanted Ripley to win, Belair has unfinished business with Becky Lynch so that is probably the right way to go.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

WWE met with some Special Olympians this weekend.

Naomi/Ronda Rousey vs. Sonya Deville/Charlotte

Deville has a bad arm coming in and as a result, Rousey has to have an arm tied behind her back. Rousey comes to the ring in her judo gear for a different look. We get a video on Rousey before we’re ready to go. Deville and Rousey start things off and believe it or not, Deville’s arm is suddenly fine. Charlotte offers a distraction so Deville can jump Rousey in the corner.

A kick to the head rocks Deville though and a knee to the head does it again. Rousey wants Charlotte, who is fine enough to come in, only to tag right back out. Naomi comes in to jump Sonya but gets sent hard into the corner. A clothesline is avoided with a slide though and it’s back to Rousey, who tries the armbar on Sonya. That’s broken up with a kick to the face though and Charlotte gets to chop away in the corner.

The double teaming continues, with Charlotte kicking Naomi off the apron. A hammerlock goes onto Ronda’s good arm but she manages to knock Charlotte down and bring Naomi back in. The springboard kick to the face rocks Charlotte but Rousey is knocked outside. Back up and the hot tag brings in Rousey, setting up Piper’s Pit to Deville. Charlotte is fine enough to look on as Deville taps to the armbar at 9:12.

Rating: C. It went a bit longer than it needed to but they did what they needed to do. There was no reason to have Charlotte and Rousey do anything important here and they didn’t waste time. Rousey gets to look like a force and Deville will be fine after a quick promo where she abuses her power again. It might not have been great, but it did its job.

We recap Madcap Moss vs. Drew McIntyre. Moss and Happy Corbin injured McIntyre’s neck and put him out for about a month so it’s time for revenge in a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss

Falls Count Anywhere and Happy Corbin is here with Moss. Corbin helps jump McIntyre to start and the fight heads outside. Another shot from Corbin wakes McIntyre up so the chase is on, with Corbin bailing to the back. Moss tries to jump the distracted McIntyre but he gets kicked in the face instead. Corbin runs back out to keep Moss from being thrown off the stage and it’s a double suplex to drop McIntyre.

Back in and McIntyre fights back, setting up the reverse Alabama Slam, with Moss landing HARD on top of his head in a terrifying crash. Corbin offers a distraction but Moss charges into a belly to belly on the floor. McIntyre tells commentary to move so he can suplex Moss over the announcers’ table. Corbin is back up to send McIntyre through the barricade for two but McIntyre is fine enough to hit a superplex for his own near fall back inside. The Futureshock sets up the Claymore (with McIntyre holding Angela the sword) for the pin at 9:11.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting here? McIntyre wasn’t going to break a hard sweat against Moss and this was little more than an extended workout. I’m sure we’ll get McIntyre vs. Corbin at Wrestlemania and it won’t be much better because it’s just finishing this story off. I know WWE thinks it’s a big enough deal but who could possibly be interested in this show?

We recap the Kickoff Show match with Rey Mysterio beating Miz, followed by Dominik beating up Miz for a bonus.

Miz is furious and promises to get a partner to help deal with the Mysterios. He is off for a phone call.

WWE Superstars had fun in Jeddah, because it’s different here.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Lita

Lita is challenging and shoulders Becky down to start, earning a YOU STILL GOT IT chant. The Twist of Fame is broken up and Becky snaps the back of Lita’s neck across the top. The stomping is on before Becky kicks away at the ribs. Becky’s middle rope Fameasser brings Lita out of the ropes for two and the Bexploder gets the same. Another Bexploder is countered into a DDT for two and the comeback is on. Lita hits a middle rope crossbody for two and they go to a pinfall reversal sequence.

Lynch gets caught grabbing the rope so Lita pulls her into a sleeper, which Lynch needs the rope to escape. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita two and she busts out a Trish Stratus Stratusfaction. A snapmare driver gives Lita two but Becky is back with the Disarm-Her. That’s blocked as well, so Becky hits the Manhandle Slam for two, with Lita getting a food on the rope. Lynch misses a moonsault so Lita hits a Twist of Fate into the Litasault for her own near fall. Back up and Lynch hits a quick Manhandle Slam to retain at 12:14.

Rating: C+. Considering Lita has barely wrestled in years, this was a pretty entertaining match. Lynch wasn’t about to drop the title but they gave Lita a lot here, as they should have. I do like bringing in these legends to face the champions on occasion, as it is a good way to bridge the gap between the major title defenses. Sometimes it’s ok to have a quick story without the drama and that is what they did here.

Post match Becky leaves and Lita gets a bit of a sendoff.

Undertaker is in the Hall of Fame and we get the same long form video from this week’s Smackdown.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Viking Raiders

The Usos are defending…..at some point in the future as they jump the Raiders on the floor and lay them out. No match.

Video on Seth Rollins.

We recap the men’s Elimination Chamber for the WWE Title. Bobby Lashley beat Brock Lesnar to take the title at the Royal Rumble so Lesnar wanted a rematch. This is as good as he can get, which seems to suit him just fine.

WWE Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Riddle vs. Seth Rollins vs. Austin Theory vs. AJ Styles

Lashley is defending and it’s Seth Rollins starting with Austin Theory. During Lesnar’s entrance, Cole used the line “playing with the house’s money” for the third time tonight. Rollins hits a Sling Blade to start but Theory is back with a release fisherman’s suplex. Some superkicks put Theory down and it’s a Buckle Bomb into Lashley’s pod to leave Lashley and Riddle laying.

Riddle is in at #3 and beats on Riddle as Lashley is helped out of the Chamber. Rollins catches Riddle on top for a reverse superplex and there’s a frog splash to give Rollins two. AJ Styles is in at #4 and powerbombs Rollins down for a fast two. A double superplex is loaded up but Theory makes the save and powerbombs Rollins and Styles down. It’s supposed to be Lashley in next but since he isn’t here, Lesnar kicks his pod open and starts wrecking people. The F5 finishes Rollins at 9:48 and another F5 finishes Riddle at 10:13.

At the same time, we are told that Lashley will not be back, meaning that there will be a new champion tonight. Another F5 gets rid of Styles at 10:57 and it’s Lesnar vs. Theory for the title. Theory tries to hide in a pod but Lesnar breaks it open and suplexes Theory onto the cage. Theory gets in a low blow and a rolling dropkick, setting up a DDT for two.

Lesnar glares at him so Theory climbs the Chamber and manages to get halfway out of the top before Lesnar pulls him back down. Lesnar slams him head first into the Plexiglas on top of the pod and then F5s him down onto the Chamber floor. That’s enough for Lesnar to win the title at 14:52.

Rating: C. It was short and to the point, which believe it or not was Lesnar gets another World Title, because he hasn’t had one in all of a few weeks now. I’m curious to see how Lashley is tied into the whole thing as he has a case to get another title shot, though it wouldn’t surprise me to see it ignored so we can do Reigns vs. Lesnar. Again. For both titles. Since no one else in WWE matters. Again.

Lesnar poses for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was better than most of the Saudi shows but it was about as ho hum of a card as you could have had. There were some good enough matches, but the focus was on setting up Brock Lesnar, Becky Lynch, Roman Reigns and Charlotte for Wrestlemania as WWE continues to rely on the same people over and over. There wasn’t a bad match on the show, though the booking continues to not exactly be the most exciting thing in the world. I’ll take it over the Crown Jewel and Super Showdown shows though so at least it’s a step up.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Goldberg – Guillotine choke
Bianca Belair won the women’s Elimination Chamber match last eliminating Alexa Bliss
Ronda Rousey/Naomi b. Sonya Deville/Charlotte – Armbar to Deville
Drew McIntyre b. Madcap Moss – Claymore
Becky Lynch b. Lita – Manhandle Slam
Brock Lesnar won the men’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Austin Theory

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Prime Time Wrestling
Date: February 1, 1988
Hosts: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Nick Bockwinkel, Bobby Heenan, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Lord Alfred Hayes, Pete Doherty

We’ll try a few more of these and this one is from the usual Monday night. The fact that it premiered two days before I did has nothing to do with my pick for watching this one. We’re just after the first Royal Rumble and that means we are four days away from the first ever Main Event. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Vince (not Gorilla Monsoon for some reason) and Heenan get straight to it by talking about Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant’s contract signing at the Royal Rumble for Friday’s Main Event. The first match at Wrestlemania III is brought up and Heenan is clearly not over it.

From Madison Square Garden, October 16, 1987.

Sika vs. Don Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with Sika and this might be the closest we ever get to Roman Reigns vs. The Rock. Feeling out process to start as commentary goes over the history between Muraco and Fuji. Sika gets shoved around so we take an early breather on the floor, because even island savages need to take a break every now and then. Back in and Muraco gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two before starting in on the leg. Some leg/foot twisting has Sika in some trouble but Muraco just lets go, allowing Sika to come back with an elbow to the jaw.

Commentary keeps talking about various issues involving islanders and Samoans and Polynesians, which would probably get them in quite the trouble today. Muraco gets knocked outside and Sika keeps kicking him off of the apron. Muraco’s comeback consists of moving forward as Sika hits him and then running him over. Some chops in the corner have Sika in trouble and Muraco goes up top to drive a knee into Sika’s face (as in he grabs Sika’s hair, puts the knee on his face, and jumps down) for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C-. Not a great match, but that was a really unique looking finish. I’m not sure how Muraco’s knee survived crashing into something as hard as a Samoan’s head but at least he didn’t scream in agony on the cover. Muraco’s muscles were out of control here and it’s no surprise that he wasn’t around much longer, as he just looked nuts at this point.

Vince likes Muraco’s win but Heenan hates Muraco’s change in philosophy.

Post break, commentary talks about Wrestlemania IV and how excited they are to meet Donald Trump.

From the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto on September 20, 1987.

Harley Race vs. Koko B. Ware

Race is the King at this point so Heenan handles his introduction. If nothing else, we get a good bit of Piledriver so the entrances are great. Heenan is worried about being allergic to Frankie the bird but Gorilla thinks Frankie might be allergic to weasels. Feeling out process to start as Heenan wants to hand Race a hammer. Ware leapfrogs him and Race seems confused about where Ware went, meaning it’s a dropkick to put Race down. The headlock goes on so Race drops to a knee and drives a headbutt into the ribs.

We get the traditional exchange of headbutts and neither goes anywhere, meaning Ware goes with a punch to the nose. Race goes back to the stomach and grabs a belly to belly for two. Some knees to the back keep Ware down and a piledriver gets two, with Monsoon wondering how much effect that would have had. The chinlock goes on and let’s cut to Frankie as Koko tries his comeback.

Koko gets sent to the ramp (near Frankie, whose feathers go up as Koko lands), where Race misses a falling headbutt. Race is fine enough to hit a brainbuster (which Gorilla seems to think was a bad suplex) but they take their time getting back in, allowing Koko to hammer away. A sunset flip gets two on Race and a shot to the face means they both need a breather. They collide for another double knockdown and we take a break. Back in the studio, Heenan seems to be calling in horse racing bets to a bookie, much to Vince’s annoyance.

We take a break and come back with Race missing a headbutt so Koko slams him face first into the mat. Some right hands have Race knocked even sillier and a dropkick gives Ware two. Back up and Race punches him down, setting up some knee drops for two of his own. They head outside with Race sending him face first into the ring bell for a great sound (Heenan is very pleased).

Ware posts him though, sending Heenan into a rant demanding a DQ (because Heenan is awesome). Back in again and Race gets tied in the ropes but manages to avoid a fist drop. Now the vertical suplex is a bit more to Monsoon’s liking and there’s a neck snap across the top. The camel clutch goes on as Race continues going through whatever basic things he can think of.

Koko slips out and sends Race head first into the mat (again). A belly to back gives Race two and Ware’s knee lift gets the same as this is still going for no logical reason. Back up and a clothesline knocks Ware down before Race sends him to the floor. Heenan gets up off commentary so Race can hit Ware in the throat with a microphone. That’s still not enough for the countout so Ware comes back in with a top rope punch to the head….as time expires at 22:29 (I have no idea what kind of time limit they were shooting for there. Twenty five minutes? What kind of a time limit is that?).

Rating: C. This was a weird one as the match was VERY long and slow, but it wasn’t exactly bad. Instead, it was two guys doing entertaining enough stuff as they kept hanging in there, but nothing ever got that interesting. It wasn’t much to see on TV and I’m almost scared to imagine how dull this might have been to watch live. Then again, that’s the point of matches like this and it makes this show more interesting to see oddities like this one.

Post match Race looks at Frankie and reaches for him before Koko scares him off. Was he going to grab it? Maybe eat it? We have 22:29 for the match but not another fifteen seconds to see Harley Race stealing and perhaps devouring a bird?

Back to the studio, where Vince asks Heenan if he really knows Donald Trump. Apparently Heenan and Trump are like THIS, but Heenan is on the top because he’s the Brain. With that out of the way, it’s time to talk about the upcoming Main Event this coming Friday.

Back from a break, Heenan promises that Andre the Giant is taking the WWF Title at the Main Event. Well kind of.

It’s time for UPDATE with Craig DeGeorge, with Craig running down the Main Event card. We see a clip of Honky Tonk Man shoving down Elizabeth, becoming the most evil human in the history of ever. Honky Tonk Man has to defend the Intercontinental Title against Randy Savage, but there is something even bigger.

We see a clip of Andre the Giant choking Hulk Hogan out (Andre’s face is one of the all time terrifying sights in wrestling). Ted DiBiase, who has purchased Andre’s contract, says Andre is his ticket to the WWF Title. Andre promises to win the title and hand it over to DiBiase.

Back in the studio, Heenan says Honky Tonk Man is the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time and knows he will show Randy Savage his place. Vince thinks Savage is going to win the title again, which isn’t quite fair when he is booking the show.

Now it’s on to the Tag Team Title match with Strike Force defending against the Hart Foundation, who they took the titles from a few months ago. Heenan says Jim Neidhart never gave up, because the referee asked if the Boston crab hurt and rang the bell when Neidhart said it did in fact hurt. Vince finds this rather stupid.

Some fans give their Main Event picks.

Vince doesn’t like Ron Bass’ bullwhip, but Heenan is more worried about Billy Jack Haynes’ hat. You never know what’s in it!

From the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto on June 28, 1987.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Ron Bass

Joined in progress with Haynes working on a headlock and then getting two off a sunset flip. The fans chant BASSHOLE, which is downright clever and something I haven’t heard before. Back up and Haynes starts in on the arm as Monsoon calls Bass fat. The armbar keeps Bass down as Monsoon and Heenan debate Oregon vs. Beverly Hills (the classic argument). Bass fights up and grabs the bullwhip, which is taken away without much drama.

Hayes gets sent chest/throat first into the ropes as Heenan keeps ranting about the bad officiating at Wrestlemania. Monsoon tries to sell this as a huge match for both of them and I’m not sure he’s getting that one over. Bass sends him outside and the arm is rammed into the barricade, though Heenan wanted more of a running start.

There’s a posting to make Heenan a bit happier and the arm is bent around the ropes back inside. The comeback starts as Hayes walks around the ring and shrugs off a bunch of forearms. We get a rare bit as Heenan badmouths the other evil managers as Hayes hits an elbow to the face but can’t get the full nelson. Bass hits him in the throat, grabs the bullwhip, and shoves the referee down for the DQ at 8:41.

Rating: D. While the Race vs. Ware match was at least competent, this was two bigger guys walking around with a pretty sluggish match that never got started and then had a lame finish. The good thing is that commentary was helping carry the thing, but you’re only going to get so much out of these two. Neither exactly looked thrilled to be out there either and it was showing badly.

Bobby and Vince talk about the newly debuted Bad News Brown, who Heenan thinks could use a manager.

From January 5, 1988 in Huntsville, Alabama.

Bad News Brown vs. Brady Boone

This is Brown’s debut, assuming you don’t count his nearly year long run in 1979. Brown slugs away as Vince talks about the beauty of Harlem, where his dad was born. Boone doesn’t seem interested in being whipped across the ring so Brown hits him in the ribs. We get an inset interview from Brown, who says he takes no prisoners and gives no mercy, as we are now in a 90s0 B movie. Bruno Sammartino says his first words over a minute into the match, as I was actually surprised he was there. A hard clothesline finishes for Brown at 1:37.

Post match Brown throws him through the ropes.

Here’s Hulk Hogan for a platform chat in some unspecified arena. Hogan is ready for the rematch with Andre and it shouldn’t be a surprise. He was never going to sell out but everyone knew Andre had his price. Hogan slammed Andre at Wrestlemania III and beat him, but maybe he had an unfair advantage with Bobby Heenan being in Andre’s corner.

Since then, he has heard so many people talking about the controversial count that he wants the rematch. You have people like Ted DiBiase, who puts all his money in one place, unlike the good people like Donald Trump who spreads the money around. Hogan answers to the big bank teller in the sky and he thinks that the bottom is falling out on Andre and DiBiase.

Back in the studio, Vince talks about the 93,173 fans in Hogan’s corner at Wrestlemania but Bobby still insists that Andre had Hogan pinned. Heenan insists that Andre is getting the title because Hulkamania is dead and over.

After a break, Vince promises a report on Matilda (the British Bulldogs’ mascot) but Heenan has no idea what happened to her in the first place.

The British Bulldogs say Matilda is doing ok but she isn’t responding to the treatment. They read all of the cards and letters to her and it makes her tail wag.

Vince shows us where you can send such cards and letters for Matilda, which was in no way, shape or form a way to rebuild WWE’s mailing list.

Heenan goes on a hilarious rant about how stupid you have to be to own an animal, because you would have to be stupid/crazy to write letters to an animal. As for he and the Islanders dognapping Matilda a few weeks ago, it was because she was scared and vicious.

We go back to the Royal Rumble for the contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. They both sign and then Andre beats Hogan up by turning the table onto him.

From Madison Square Garden on August 22, 1987.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Ricky Steamboat

Honky Tonk Man, with Jimmy Hart, is defending in a lumberjack match. Steamboat rubs George Steele’s head for luck and Honky Tonk Man hits the required stall button. Honky Tonk Man starts striking away about a minute in but Steamboat skins the cat and dropkicks him over the top. Back in and Honky Tonk Man is tossed outside again, where Steele throws him back inside.

They head outside again with Steamboat beating him up some more before the lumberjacks throw them back inside. We take a break and come back with Steamboat stomping him on the apron as Hart gives a frantic rant about his gang attack on Honky Tonk Man. Steamboat rams him into the buckle ten straight times and then does it ten more times just to make a point. Honky Tonk Man comes back with a snapmare and elbow drop to show off his variety of offense.

The Islanders trip Steamboat down so someone trips Honky Tonk Man right back down to set up the comeback. A belly to back suplex drops Honky Tonk Man but he breaks up a monkey flip, heaving Steamboat landing on his face. We take another break, with Heenan describing it as “eh” before coming back with Steamboat getting whipped over the top to the floor.

This time Honky Tonk Man follows him out, only to have the lumberjacks throw them back in (nice to see people doing their job for a chance). The neck crank goes on for a bit but Steamboat is right back with some chops. There’s the top rope chop to the head but Hart has the referee. Therefore Steele comes in and counts the pin, which Steamboat seems to think counts. Why to faces have to be so dumb? The melee allows Honky Tonk Man to hit Steamboat with the megaphone to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and the kind of thing that the two of them could work together so well. That’s what you need for a show like this and it felt like something special. The fans were behind it too and the lumberjacks made it that much better. Good stuff here and the best match on the show by far.

Post match the big brawl is on with the good lumberjacks clearing the ring. The fans are LIVID at this one, as an MSG crowd will be.

Vince and Bobby talk about the Main Event Intercontinental Title match, with Heenan thinking Honky Tonk Man is going to retain the title. Oh and he’ll leave with Elizabeth too.

Post break, Bobby wants a dinner bet on Hogan vs. Andre but Vince says he would lose by having to go anywhere with Heenan. That’s a harsh one.

Ted DiBiase and Andre the Giant recap everything with Hogan and promise to get the title. The amazing thing is that after so many people promised to do this, they actually pulled it off.

Vince and Bobby talk about the title match one more time, with Vince getting in some jabs at Heenan’s tie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a good example of a show where the overall presentation worked a lot better than the pieces. The show was built to set up the Main Event card and I would think that thirty three million viewers would suggest that they did fairly well. The wrestling itself wasn’t all that great, though the main event was good house show fare. Nice enough show here and it set up one of the most famous matches in the history of the company.

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It’s time to head back halfway around the world as WWE is returning to Saudi Arabia. This time is a little different though, as the show will feature the Elimination Chamber rather than some generically titles event. The card could look a lot worse as there are three women’s matches and two Elimination Chamber matches, including one match where those two categories cross over. Let’s get to it.

Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

We’ll start with the match voted Most Likely To Be Demoted To The Kickoff Show as these two are fighting over Miz’s treatment of Dominik Mysterio. Yeah that’s a pretty lame reason to have the match but that has never stopped WWE from setting something up. This feels like a feud that has some legs to it and hopefully that could be a good thing, though it kind of hinges on the first match.

I’ll take Miz to win here, as it should give you a reason to get to Miz vs. Dominik. That might not be the most interesting match but it is something that we have to do at some point. WWE seems intent on getting Dominik over and that means they need to do something like have Miz beat Dominik’s dad to set it up. Miz goes over here, as it means someone needs to take him out later.

Madcap Moss vs. Drew McIntyre

This is the continuation of this feud for reasons that I don’t want to know, but odds are it leads to a showdown with Happy Corbin at WrestleMania. I have no idea how that is the best thing WWE can come up with for McIntyre, but what else could it be setting up? This is Falls Count Anywhere as a way for McIntyre to have some more fun, but I don’t know if that changes the result.

I’m going to go with what makes sense here and say McIntyre wins here, though I’m almost scared of the idea of Corbin cheating to help Moss win. McIntyre should be ready for something huge after WrestleMania but we have to get through Corbin and Moss first. That right there kind of sums up one of WWE’s biggest issues: there might be something good down the line, but you have to get through WWE’s lame idea first.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Goldberg

You know what’s annoying about this match? I mean in addition to the fact that it is happening? WWE just might be crazy enough to put the title on Goldberg for some sort of conquering hero deal, as they have been nuttier than that before. As much as I’d like to believe that reigns slays Goldberg here to FINALLY let them get this match out of their system, I can’t help but think there is a chance they do otherwise.

That being said, I’ll still take Reigns here, at least partially for the sake of my own sanity. There is no logical reason for Goldberg to take the title from Reigns and then drop it back a few weeks later, but stranger things have happened. For now though, I’ll go with Reigns to win here and set up his match with Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania, because that is just what everyone wanted from Reigns: back to back showdowns with Goldberg and Lesnar.

Women’s Elimination Chamber

These matches are almost always a mix of dumb luck and eliminating some of the least likely candidates. This time around, you can write off Liv Morgan, Nikki Ash and Doudrop, as they aren’t challenging for anything at WrestleMania. That leaves Rhea Ripley, Alexa Bliss and Bianca Belair as potential winners and that means we have three viable options for this one.

I think I’ll actually take Ripley, who would be a fresh and interesting match with Lynch (and who might actually have a chance since she isn’t facing Charlotte). Belair is also an option due to needing revenge after the Summerslam title change, but I think that ship might have already sailed. Bliss could be in there as well, but this return screams some kind of screwy finish involving that dumb doll. Ripley wins here, in what is likely my false hope pick of the show.

SmackDown Tag Team Titles: Usos(c) vs. Viking Raiders

This would be your tag defense of the month for the Usos as they face one of the only other regular and successful teams on SmackDown. They have even pulled out all the stops by having the teams trade singles wins on SmackDown. That should be more than enough to set this up (at least in the modern WWE style) so maybe we can get something out of the pure talent involved.

In what should be the least dramatic match of the night, I’ll take the Usos to retain here. There is no reason to suggest that the Vikings are going to be able to defeat the best team in WWE today (and one of the best ever) so I’m not sure what kind of suspense this one is going to have. The good thing is that the match itself should be good with the speed vs. the power, but there is almost no chance of a title change here.

Ronda Rousey/Naomi vs. Charlotte/Sonya Deville

There is nothing wrong with a match that combines two feuds into one and they have done a nice enough job of it here. The twist this time is that Rousey’s arm will be tied behind her back because she ran her mouth a few weeks ago about how easy it should be to beat Deville. That should be enough of a way to let Charlotte get in some cheap shots as she and Rousey head on to WrestleMania, which is the main point of this match.

I’ll go with Rousey/Naomi winning as Naomi pins Deville. You don’t want the champ or the challenger taking a fall and since Naomi has already gotten the better of Deville, there is no reason to go back and mess with things again. Naomi could use another win to keep up her momentum and Rousey/Charlotte can be on their own while Naomi gets another pin on Deville.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Lita

I’m not sure if this is supposed to be some big time competitive match where Lita is seen as a real threat or a “wouldn’t it be cool if” come to life. Lynch has been the champion for the better part of ever and there are very few people that I buy as having a chance to take the title. Lita isn’t exactly one of those people, but the cool thing is that she should be able to have some kind of a great match under any circumstances.

In case it isn’t that clear of a choice, I’m going with Lynch to retain before she finally drops the title in a pretty big match at WrestleMania. This is probably it for Lita (for now) as she is usually best in small doses. The match should work out well due to both of the women being very good at what they do, but I can’t bring myself to believe that Lita is potentially winning the title here.

WWE Title: Men’s Elimination Chamber

This one has some higher stakes and that is a nice thing to see. It also has a few potential ways to go, as there are more than a few options here. Again, we’ll eliminate those with no chance first. Riddle, Austin Theory and AJ Styles (I think) have no chance so we’ll write them off already. That leaves us with the defending champion Bobby Lashley, Seth Rollins and Brock Lesnar, meaning you have at least two viable options and one kind of longshot.

I’m really not sure where to go here as I don’t want Lesnar getting the title back but I also don’t know if I can picture him losing. I’ll go with some sort of shenanigans leading to Lashley retaining, which could range from Roman Reigns interfering (perhaps after Lesnar did the same to him to make up for the Royal Rumble) to MVP cheating to a bunch of people going after Lesnar at once. I’m probably wrong, but I’d like to see Lashley get another good run with the title. That being said, I can’t shake the idea of Rollins winning either. We’ll go with Lashley just to pick one of the three.

Overall Thoughts

There is the potential for a good show on this card, despite there being more than a few matches without that much drama. Since WWE has decided this is the way their calendar works, this is going to be the last stop on the Road to WrestleMania, meaning that it is time to get things going as well as possible. I’m hoping this show can pull that off, but you never know with this company anymore. The Chambers should work, but as usual, it is all going to depend on which direction they take.

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Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2022
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We’re taped this week as the roster is in Saudi Arabia for this weekend’s Elimination Chamber. That can make for some interesting shows as the crowd might have to be brought into things a bit more. It’s also the go home show for Elimination Chamber, meaning we are probably in for a lot of hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing for Charlotte/Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey/Naomi. Everyone comes to the ring and Sonya says she knows how to do this. They immediately start arguing and yelling over each other, because that’s how women interact in WWE. Sonya and Charlotte both sign but Naomi threatens to turn the table over if they don’t stop stalling.

Hold on though because Sonya has a stipulation. A few days ago, Rousey said that she could beat Sonya with one arm tied behind her back, so that’s what she is going to have to do. Ronda is down with that and signs, as does Naomi, and the fight is on. Charlotte has a contract thrown at her and Sonya getting kicked in the head, sending them running off. They kept this short and that might be a good thing.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Ridge Holland losing to Ricochet and wonders if Holland is getting any of this. Tonight, Sheamus will lead by example.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is here with Sheamus. Ricochet starts fast and strikes away before sending Sheamus outside. That means a running flip dive through the ropes but Sheamus is back with a knee choke in the corner. A suplex drops Ricochet and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and takes it to the floor, only to be fall away slammed over the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus pounding away until Ricochet manages a tornado DDT. The standing shooting star press sets up a non-running Lionsault for two and Ricochet is getting frustrated. Sheamus grabs an Alabama Slam and goes up top, only to get caught with a super Spanish Fly for a close two. Holland tries a distraction but Ricochet is waiting on him, meaning Sheamus’ surprise Brogue Kick misses. The Recoil gives Ricochet the pin at 10:54.

Rating: B-. That is almost a relief to see as Ricochet gets a win without any major shenanigans. This felt like it actually meant something and that is a lot more than I would have expected. I have no reason to believe that this is Ricochet turning the corner, but at least he won a single match and that is great to see.

Post match Sheamus yells at Holland and shoves him down.

We look back at Rick Boogs “accidentally” getting electrocuted last week on InZayn.

Sami Zayn takes no responsibility for what happened to Boogs last week. Zayn talks about what has happened to him over the last year as we recap the entire conspiracy. Tonight, he makes up for it by getting the Intercontinental Title back.

The Undertaker is going into the Hall of Fame. Well that was expected.

Long Undertaker Hall of Fame video, set to Sad But True by Metallica and American Bad*** by Kid Rock. This of course features all kinds of classic clips and almost every major star talking about what a legend Undertaker is.

Long video on Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg for Reigns’ Universal Title at Elimination Chamber.

Jey Uso vs. Ivar

Jimmy Uso and Erik are here too. Ivar goes with the power to put Jey up against the ropes to start but a superkick cuts that off. The chinlock goes on but Ivar fights up without much effort. The Bronco Buster in the corner sets up a top rope splash to crush Jey, which draws in Jimmy for the DQ at 2:37.

Post match the Raiders clear the ring and get their headgear back.

We look back at Drew McIntyre telling Madcap Moss that their Elimination Chamber match will be falls count anywhere. Moss looks scared, which is usually the case when a big sword is involved.

Here is Drew McIntyre for a chat. He talks about how he used to live near New Orleans and found out that the only people who can drink with the Scots are people from around here. McIntyre has spent a lot of great time around here, but now he is getting ready to go face Madcap Moss in Saudi Arabia.

Since the match is anything goes, McIntyre can do anything from hitting him in the face, sending him into electrical equipment or drowning him in the Red Sea. McIntyre even asks fans to send him ideas on what to do to Moss because he has a 20 hour flight. Cue Moss and Happy Corbin, with Moss promising to laugh all the way home. They make fun of McIntyre’s neck but he promises to make the laughter die at Elimination Chamber. That hashtag idea is smart, as it’s always a good idea to engage the audience in some way.

Shinsuke Nakamura wants to kick Sami Zayn in the face.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending and they take turns driving each other into the corner to start. Sami gets in a shot to the ribs but Nakamura fights back with kicks and knees. Another knee has Zayn down but the knee from the apron only hits floor to put Nakamura in trouble. We take a break and come back with Zayn grabbing a chinlock. Nakamura fights up so Zayn mocks the NAKAMURA chants and hits a clothesline for two.

Another chinlock doesn’t work either, as Nakamura gets out and hits the sliding German suplex for two of his own. Sami is right back with a Michinoku Driver (which dropped Nakamura on his head) for two more and they head outside. Nakamura kicks a diving Sami out of the air but his running knee hits the steps.

We take another break and come back again with Zayn working on the leg. Nakamura fights back but gets his leg kicked out again, setting up the Blue Thunder Bomb to give Zayn two more. Zayn pounds away in the corner and mocks Nakamura’s COME ON but the kick in the corner is blocks. That means Nakamura can kick him in the head and again against the ropes (in a callback to their classic Takeover Dallas match). Kinshasa is loaded up so Sami rolls outside to avoid being kneed in the face. Sami trips him down and rams the leg into the post, setting up a hard kick to the knee for the pin and the title at 18:12.

Rating: B. This was a long match with Zayn getting smart by taking away Nakamura’s greatest weapon. That made for a good story throughout as Nakamura couldn’t strike away at Zayn, who hung in there long enough to beat him. They had to change the title here as Nakamura had held the thing for six months without doing much of anything with it. Zayn has his conspiracy theory deal and this is as good of a payoff as there was for the whole thing.

Booker T. met with some children at a community center in Dallas as part of Black History Month.

Aliyah is very proud of Ricochet for being Sheamus. Ricochet is so excited by his win that he almost sounds like a human being. With Ricochet gone, Sami Zayn comes in to brag about his own big win.

Video on the men’s Elimination Chamber match.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final showdown with Goldberg. Reigns tells New Orleans to acknowledge him and tells Heyman to celebrate him. Heyman says this is the best part of his day because standing next to greatness is spiritually orgasmic. He talks about how you might not have gotten to see some greatness in person, including Drew Brees….who meant nothing because he played for the New Orleans Saints.

That means a WHO DAT (Saints chant) chant, which doesn’t please Heyman that much. Heyman: “The eleventh commandment on the Island of Relevancy: thou shalt not interrupt the Wise Man’s promo.” Heyman promises Reigns will keep the title tomorrow but here is Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg picks up a mic and then drops it, leaving Reigns to say he was going to give Goldberg one last chance to acknowledge him. That doesn’t seem likely as Goldberg gets in Reigns’ face and says Reigns isn’t next. When it comes to the Universal Title, Goldberg is next. Staring ends the show. Whatever gets Goldberg out of here the fastest.

Overall Rating: C+. You had two matches of note and both of them were quite good, but the st of the show was lacking to say the least. Now in this case, that is a lot more acceptable for two reasons. Not only was this the go home show with the final push towards Elimination Chamber, but it was also the second two hour show in front of this same crowd. What we got was good, but you could tell they were clipping a lot of corners to keep the crowd from getting totally burned out.

Results
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Recoil
Ivar b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Kick to the knee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Rampage
Date: February 18, 2022
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Chris Jericho, Ricky Starks

We’re a few hours earlier this week due to the NBA All Star Weekend. This week’s show doesn’t have quite the same level of star power that most weeks have, but Revolution is in about two weeks and it’s time to set up some more things. You can probably guess most of the matches from here though and that’s a good thing. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Adam Cole vs. 10

10 shoves him around to start before snapping off a German suplex. The right hands start up in the corner but Cole slips out and kicks 10’s braced knee. The knee is wrapped around the post but 10 is fine enough to hit a delayed vertical suplex. Cole knocks him outside though and it’s right back to the leg as we take a break.

Back with 10 not being able to get the full nelson, meaning Cole can enziguri him into a Backstabber for two. A discus lariat gives 10 his own two but Cole kicks him down again. The Panama Sunrise is countered with a spear for two so 10 grabs the full nelson. Cole drives him into the corner though and it’s a low blow to escape. Some superkicks set up the Boom to give Cole the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C. 10’s selling issues aside, this worked well enough as a showcase for both of them. Cole is only way to the World Title shot at Revolution and needed a win like this to help make him seem like a bigger deal and it isn’t like the Dark Order is going to be hurt by a loss. Nothing great, but at least Cole didn’t no sell something.

We look at CM Punk announcing his dog collar match against MJF at Revolution.

Face Of The Revolution Ladder Match Qualifying Match: Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Dante Martin

Martin strikes away to start and hits a springboard dropkick, followed by a non-springboard version to put Hobbs on the floor. Another springboard is broken up though and Hobbs launches Martin hard into the corner. Then he does it again as commentary points out how that has happened in every qualifying match so far.

We take a break and come back with Martin escaping a bearhug but not getting very far with some running shots to the face. A springboard uppercut works a bit better though and a springboard corkscrew dive to the floor drops Hobbs again. Back in and Martin tries to fly around a bit too much, allowing Hobbs to plant him with a spinebuster for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. Power vs. speed/high flying is about as simple and classic of a wrestling formula as you are going to get and that is what we had here. Hobbs winning actually surprised me as Martin would have seemed to be a layup for the ladder match, so I can appreciate a bit of a twist. Good enough match here as Martin got to do his flying before taking the loss.

Jade Cargill wants her next opponent so here is Matt hardy with the Bunny. Matt thinks that would be a money match so Cargill says she’s fine fine with beating up the rabbit lady.

Serena Deeb vs. Angelica Risk

Five Minute Professor Challenge. Deeb takes her down without much trouble to start before sending Risk into the corner. There’s a catapult into the bottom rope for two as Deeb pulls her up. The powerbomb sets up the Serenity Lock for the fast tap at 1:51.

We get the split screen interview, with Jay White saying he’s ready for Trent Beretta, while Trent says he is in fact ready as well.

Trent Beretta vs. Jay White

Orange Cassidy is here with Trent. Commentary hypes up White being the first Grand Slam winner in the history of New Japan, which has been around for decades. Granted the Grand Slam has only been around since 2017 but he is the first. White drives him into the corner to start and stomps away until Trent fights up with some chops.

A suplex drops White and they head outside with White being sent into the barricade. Trent clotheslines him down and then heads back inside, only to get suplexed over the top. We take a break and come back with Trent whipping him into the corner and hitting an Asai moonsault (though Trent landed HARD on the floor). They head back inside where White hits a Downward Spiral into a bridging German suplex for two.

Trent punches and elbows him down against the ropes and White is knocked outside again. Trent’s spear is cut off with a raised knee though and Trent gets suplexed into the barricade. Back in and White hits a spinning Rock Bottom but the Blade Runner is countered into a running knee to give Trent two. They strike is out until Trent hits a piledriver for another near fall. Back up and White grabs the Bladerunner for the fast pin at 15:05.

Rating: B. White continues to look good and this was a nice debut for him. Trent is someone with the value to make White’s win matter without doing that much damage to him, making this a logical way to go. White is probably in for a huge story because he’s involved in the Bullet Club, meaning we are likely to see him a lot more going forward. That’s not a bad thing.

Post match Cassidy checks on Trent but White bumps into him, which sets up a bit of a showdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This one slowed down a bit as the star power wasn’t quite as high. That being said, it was still a good show with nothing bad and White making his debut. Rampage has a nice formula and it worked well here, albeit with some slightly weaker star power. If this is a bad one though, this show is going to be fine.

Results
Adam Cole b. 10 – Boom
Powerhouse Hobbs b. Dante Martin – Spinebuster
Serena Deeb b. Angelica Risk – Serenity Lock
Jay White b. Trent Beretta – Bladerunner

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NXT UK
Date: February 17, 2022
Location: BT Sports Studios, London, England
Commentators: Andy Shepherd, Nigel McGuinness

Things toned down a bit last week after back to back title match weeks. This time around seems to be more of the former as well, with the main event being a grudge match between Wolfgang and Jordan Devlin. Other than that, it’s hard to say what we might be getting around here week to week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Sam Gradwell vs. Kenny Williams

Hold on though as Williams, in street clothes, is out on crutches. There was a terrible accident so the match cannot happen. Hold on to that holding on though as Sid Scala pops up on screen to say there is no evidence of Williams being injured, so start the match. Gradwell pulls him in and hammers away to start as Williams is rocked early.

A forearm out of the corner staggers Gradwell and a rake to the eyes lets Williams hit a rebound lariat. The cravate goes on for a bit before Williams rakes at the back. Gradwell fights up and hits some clotheslines into a butterfly suplex, only to get rolled up for two. Back up and Williams tries a sunset flip but Gradwell sits down on him for the pin at 3:58.

Rating: C. Williams finally gets caught and oddly enough it’s in a wrestling counter, which was a nice change of pace after Gradwell being all intense most of the time. It’s nice to see Gradwell getting a win, even if it is a small one like this. Odds are the feud continues though and I’m not sure if that is the best thing, as it’s only so interesting.

Post match Williams jumps Gradwell with the crutch as this is indeed going to continue. Williams pulls out some scissors from underneath the ring and cuts off Gradwell’s mohawk to really make this personal. Gradwell is furious, though not quite furious enough to go after Williams, who is standing at the entrance.

We recap Gallus stealing Jordan Devlin’s sunglasses last week.

The Coffeys find this funny but Wolfgang takes it a bit more seriously.

Xia Brookside is very happy to have an interview but she freaks out when she is asked about Amale. Her daddy will be hearing about this!

We recap Jack Starz wanting to earn one of Dave Mastiff’s bomber jackets, meaning Mastiff has some challenges for him.

First up it’s Challenge #1: Bomber Physicality. That means an hour of free squats, but Mastiff forgets to check on him and comes back three hours later, with Jack mostly still squatting and a pool of sweat underneath him.

Challenge #2: Bomber Appetite. Starz has to eat a bunch of what looks to be cookies or crackers.

Challenge #3: Bomber Guts. Starz has to streak through the Performance Center but he can’t do it and runs off (censored) instead.

Sam Gradwell is furious and goes hunting for Kenny Williams.

Angel Hayze vs. Emilia McKenzie

McKenzie grabs a headlock to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Hayze hiptosses her over for two more and it’s off to a front facelock. That’s eventually broken up with McKenzie powering her down for two of her own. There’s a forearm for two more and McKenzie grabs a chinlock.

This time it’s Hayze fighting up and hitting her own forearm for a breather. A running elbow in the corner sets up a Sling Blade for two as McKenzie is having to work here. McKenzie is right back with a fisherman’s neckbreaker into a belly to back suplex for a needed breather. A superkick gives Hayze two more but McKenzie grabs a wheelbarrow faceplant for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C+. This was a back and forth match and much better than I would have expected. Hayze got in a ton of offense here and looked like a pretty solid prospect, making this a very nice surprise. The women’s division can always use some fresh stars and if that is Hayze, good for her.

Earlier this week, Nathan Frazer talked about how last week’s win over Teoman might shut up Die Familie for a bit. As for facing the Ring General (no name given), he was scared to death of what was in front of him and he didn’t know how he got there. Now he needs something new though, so he’s challenging Ilja Dragunov for the NXT UK Title. That’s a big step forward.

Die Familie is in their apartment, where Teoman says he’s ashamed of his loss. Rohan Raja says Teoman kept his promise of looking after his family, but Teoman says he will never be a loser, as long as the family wins. Charlie Dempsey says the loss might make the family come closer together.

Stevie Turner vs. Myla Grace

They fight over a lockup to start with Turner taking her into the corner. Grace armdrags her down into an armbar but Turner is back up with a Thesz press. A running boot to the face knocks Grace against the ropes for two and we’re off to the chinlock. Nigel tries to explain Stevie’s futuristic deal as Grace fights up, including a clothesline which is more like a punch to the stomach. Turner cuts that off without much trouble though and finishes with a Side Effect at 4:36.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what is missing from Turner but she has yet to click around here. Granted part of that is due to the still weird futuristic deal, which seems to involve her wearing slightly strange clothes. Grace was fine here, but didn’t exactly stand out for the most part.

Sid Scala announces that Meiko Satomura will be presented with a gift next week.

Moustache Mountain is very happy with their Tag Team Titles and now they’re ready to defend against Ashton Smith and Oliver Carter. Smith and Carter are ready too, with the title match coming next week.

Jordan Devlin vs. Wolfgang

Feeling out process to start with Wolfgang driving him into the corner. It’s time to work on the arm, including some driving shoulders to put Devlin down. Back up and Devlin’s running shoulder has no effect so Wolfgang shows him how it’s done, which bangs up the arm even more. Another shoulder puts Devlin on the floor but he pulls Wolfgang outside too. It turns out that it’s a bad idea to brawl with someone named Wolfgang, as Devlin is beaten up against the barricade.

Back in and the slingshot cutter is blocked, allowing Wolfgang to hit a delayed vertical suplex for two. It’s back to the armbar but Devlin knocks him outside. The Asai moonsault is pulled out of the air but Devlin manages to post him shoulder first for a breather. Devlin’s armbar is broken up as well but he kicks at the arm to cut Wolfgang down again. The arm is fine enough to hit a gorilla press drop, only to have Devlin get his knees up to block a moonsault.

Devlin gets a cross armbreaker but Wolfgang is in the ropes almost immediately. There’s a running kick to Wolfgang’s arm and another puts him down on the floor. Back in again and Devlin grabs a hammerlock before kicking at the arm again. Wolfgang manages a catapult over the top to send Devlin outside for a breather before hitting a top rope ax handle back inside.

The spear only hits buckle though and now the slingshot cutter gives Devlin two. Devlin unloads on him with shots to the head but Wolfgang hits a spear, which hurts his arm even more though. Wolfgang goes up top but gets caught with a super Spanish Fly….for two. That’s enough for Devlin, who hits the 450 for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match where they didn’t have much of a build coming in (stolen sunglasses remember) but put together a good story with both of them having bad arms. Wolfgang looked solid in a rare singles match but there wasn’t much drama as Devlin needed to get a win after losing to Ilja Dragunov a few weeks back.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event is quite good but this show was really feeling the lack of star power. Maybe they front loaded these tapings too much or something but the last two weeks haven’t been as sharp as the weeks before them. I’m not sure what they are going to do next with with Satomura’s gift, though maybe it can lead to something bigger. Good show, assuming you don’t mind the midcard getting the focus.

Results
Sam Gradwell b. Kenny Williams – Rollup
Emilia McKenzie b. Angel Hayze – Wheelbarrow faceplant
Stevie Turner b. Myla Grace – Side Effect
Jordan Devlin b. Wolfgang – 450

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Unforgiven 2007
Date: September 16, 2007
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in that weird period where we have a lot of Summerslam rematches and some of them are a bit more interesting than others. There are a few interesting possibilities though, as Undertaker is returning to face Mark Henry and Randy Orton is getting another WWE Title shot at a furious John Cena. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Undertaker returning, although this one is a bit more intense and detailed. This time Undertaker is shown in the middle of a desert standing on a mountain (or close enough). And nothing else is happening on the show apparently.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk is defending and we see a recap of him taking the title from John Morrison. Then Morrison got busted in the steroids scandal so here is Burke challenging instead. Burke getting a jobber’s entrance should tell you all you need to know about this one. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere early on. Now it’s to the mat, where Burke has to bail to the ropes to escape a cross armbreaker.

Back up and Burke starts elbowing at the head, only to get kicked right back down. Kicks to the legs and back keep Burke in trouble but he pulls Punk down out of the corner to take over. We hit a double arm crank until Punk mule kicks his way to freedom. The running knee in the corner sets up the springboard clothesline for two so Burke bails outside. Punk tries to go after him but gets pulled down for a crash (and a loud thud).

Back in and a running forearm to Punk’s back gets two and we hit the Boston crab. A screaming Punk makes it over to the rope for the break so Burke rolls some German suplexes. An STO gives Burke two and it’s off to something like what Rhea Ripley would dub the Prism Trap (minus the swinging around). Punk slips out and hits an enziguri, only to get punched in the head for two. Burke slaps him in the face on the mat a few times, only to get rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Points for the quick and surprise ending there as that’s a nice thing to see for a change. There was almost zero doubt about the winner here and that doesn’t make for the best result. Burke had to be reheated after his feud with Punk was over about a month and a half ago but what else were they going to be able to do here? The ECW roster is rather weak at the moment and with Morrison gone, this is about as good as they could have done.

We look at the saga of Matt Hardy vs. MVP, which eventually saw them being forced to team up. Then they won the Tag Team Titles, which they have to defend tonight.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

MVP/Hardy are defending and the challengers have Cherry with them. Matt and Domino look to start but MVP tags himself in to grab a wristlock instead. There’s a slam to put Domino in and MVP tags out via a slap to Matt’s chest. Hardy hits a neckbreaker on Deuce and brings MVP back in, allowing Deuce to take over in the corner.

MVP jumping bulldogs his way out of trouble and mocks Matt’s screaming elbow, allowing Deuce to get back up. Matt tags himself back in and teases his own Ballin. MVP snaps so Domino uses the distraction to come in and clean house. The chinlock doesn’t last long but an elbow to the face gives Deuce two. Something like a seated abdominal stretch goes on but he fights up and scores with the Side Effect.

That’s still not enough for the tag though as Domino knocks MVP off the apron and grabs another chinlock. MVP walks out, leaving Hardy to kick out of a suplex/high crossbody combination. Now MVP gets back on the apron as Matt hits a double clothesline. Another slap brings in MVP, who takes his time coming in to clean house. Ballin connects but Matt tags himself in and hits the Twist of Fate to retain instead.

Rating: C. This was much more about storytelling than the wrestling and in this case, that’s ok. The Matt/MVP story isn’t about the tag team stuff, which is little more than a way to keep things going until we get to the big showdown. The good side though is that the tag stuff has wound up being entertaining anyway so nothing has gotten boring yet. Totally fine match, but Deuce N Domino could have been anyone.

Matt celebrates with all three titles, just to rub it in to MVP.

Rey Mysterio acknowledges that he is not at 100% coming into tonight’s triple threat title match but he’s going to give it his all. He overcomes the odds and will do it again to win the title, just like he did last year.

HHH vs. Carlito

Only HHH can get disqualified. HHH elbows him to the floor to start and then punches away back inside. Carlito gets knocked outside again so let’s bring in a trashcan. Instead, HHH clotheslines him right back to the floor, this time following with a drive into the barricade. Back in and some elbows to the back keep Carlito in trouble, with a backbreaker making it worse. We hit the abdominal stretch as you don’t often get to see HHH picking someone apart like this.

HHH even grabs a rope, then switches to the hair when the referee goes to check. The hair finally gets him caught and the referee breaks it, earning himself some booing. They head outside again with Carlito being thrown over the announcers’ table but coming back with a bell shot to take over.

Back in and Carlito chokes away with a cable before switching to a different form of choking. The apple is loaded up but HHH Punches it out of his mouth. You don’t do that to Carlito, who pounds away with the trashcan for two more, leaving JR to wonder what kind of an apple Carlito had. A belly to back suplex onto the trashcan gets two so Carlito loads a fresh trashcan into the corner.

That takes way too long though and HHH hits a clothesline. There’s the jumping knee into the facebuster for two and HHH hammers away in the corner. Carlito finds some powder to blind HHH but a chair shot is countered into a spinebuster. The referee has to take a chair away from HHH, so it’s a low blow behind the referee’s back, setting up the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about as good as you were going to get out of Carlito vs. HHH, as Carlito has never been anything resembling a threat at this level. Even stacking the deck against HHH didn’t make this a tough one, as HHH cut him apart and then won in the end. That being said, there is something fun about HHH beating Carlito down and then cheating ala Ric Flair to win in the end. Not a dramatic match, but it was fun.

Batista hits on Maria and then promises to win the World Title because the time for talking is over.

Video on Beth Phoenix wrecking everyone on her way to Candice Michelle and the Women’s Title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and grabs a headlock to start. Phoenix isn’t having that and lifts her into the air by the arm. A wristdrag takes Phoenix down but she knocks Candice into the corner without much effort. The double arm crank goes on as Phoenix doesn’t exactly seem to think much of Phoenix.

An over the shoulder backbreaker has Candice in more trouble but she slips out and forearms away. That earns her a hard drive into the corner though and a gorilla press gives Phoenix two. Another backbreaker is loaded up but Candice reverses into a crucifix for the fast pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but it was a glorified squash until Candice stole a win to retain the title. The good thing is that it sets up a rematch and it is hard to imagine that Phoenix doesn’t pick up the title in the second match. Candice is absolutely trying though and the match was more boring than bad, which is a step up from some of the stereotypical Divas matches.

Great Khali is ready to crush people and retain the title. He even demonstrates the Vice Grip on a some melons, one of which has a Rey Mysterio match applied.

We recap Great Khali defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Batista. Khali is the unstoppable monster and the odd friends are going to try and get the title off of him. It is probably time for a title change, but Khali retaining, just because of WWE’s love of monsters, wouldn’t be shocking either.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Khali is defending and has to fight off both of them at once. Rey is sent outside, leaving Batista to get stomped down in the corner. That’s broken up and Batista hits the shoulders to the ribs until Rey comes back in. More double teaming is teased but Rey rolls Batista up for a surprise two. A springboard seated senton drops Batista but Khali kicks Rey in the face.

Batista blocks the Vice Grip for a bit before Khali manages to get it on. Rey’s chair to the back breaks it up, earning himself a punch to the face. Batista is sent outside, leaving Khali to get stomped down in the corner. Rey manages to fight out of a nerve hold but gets kicked in the face. The Vice Grip is loaded up again but Batista makes the save and ties Khali in the ropes. Rey is right there with a quick 619 to Batista and another to Khali. Batista powerbombs Rey onto Khali though and the spinebuster is enough to finish Khali to give Batista the title back.

Rating: C. This was about as good as it was going to get as it was basically Batista and Rey taking their turns against Khali, who could only do so much. The good thing is they did what they could and it could have been a lot worse. Batista getting the title back is one of the better ideas, as he can keep it warm until they get on to the next thing while still feeling like a big deal in his own right.

Batista celebrates for a long time.

Long recap of Hornswoggle being revealed as Mr. McMahon’s son.

HHH congratulates Batista on winning the title but reminds him how hard it is to keep it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

London and Kendrick are challenging. Kendrick and Cade start things off with Kendrick grabbing a hammerlock. A hiptoss gets Cade out of trouble and he puts on a headlock to slow Kendrick down. Murdoch comes in and gets armdragged into an armbar, allowing London to hit a top rope elbow to the arm. There’s a top rope stomp to the arm, setting up a slingshot kick to Murdoch’s face to give London two.

Everything breaks down for a bit and the champs are knocked outside, setting up stereo dives. Back in and Murdoch knocks Kendrick off the apron for a hard crash. That’s good for two back inside and Murdoch sends him into the corner to give Cade his own near fall. Something like a middle rope powerslam plants Kendrick for two more, with London having to make the save.

The neck crank goes on to keep Kendrick down until he slips out, as you might have guessed because it was a neck crank. Cade charges into a raised boot in the corner so Murdoch goes up, only to try an ax handle to a downed Kendrick. Since that move is only designed to have Kendrick raise his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air, he raises his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air.

The hot tag brings in London to clean house, including a springboard double stomp to Cade’s back. A standing shooting star press gives London two and Kendrick’s high crossbody gets the same. Murdoch kicks Kendrick in the face for two more as everything breaks down. Sliced Bread is countered and Cade’s sitout spinebuster finishes Kendrick to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and they got to do it again here, which was nice to see on the bigger stage. Brawlers (or however you describe Cade/Murdoch) vs. fast high fliers will work every time and that was the case again here. The match might not have been a classic, but it was a fine way to use some pay per view time (and almost the most given to any match on the show).

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for Cena’s Raw World Title. Cena retained the title at Summerslam so Orton Punted Cena’s dad in the head, sending Cena into a rage. And a rematch.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is defending and his dad is in the front row. They stare each other down and then slug away in the middle of the ring with Cena getting the better of things (shocking). Orton gets sent hard into the corner and they head outside with Cena standing on his head. Cena’s dad continues to have the angriest glare on his face as Cena takes it back inside to keep up the beating.

Orton catches him with an uppercut for a breather and there’s the hanging DDT for two. A sleeper goes on but Orton reverts to form and switches it into a chinlock. Cena actually has to power out and starts hammering away in the corner, eventually shoving the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well that was kind of lame, as this seemed to be more of a match to bridge us between the first match and the big blowoff instead of something that actually mattered. It wasn’t even eight minutes long and a good chunk of that was spent in a chinlock. Cena being angry and wanting to hurt Orton makes sense, but this felt like it should have been a run of the mill Raw main event rather than a pay per view title match.

Post match Cena goes after him again but gets his neck snapped across the top. Cena’s dad tries to make the save but gets beaten down again, drawing out Cena for the save. Cena grabs the STF so Cena’s dad can add a Punt of his own. That worked, even if the kick was kind of (understandably) terrible.

In the back, Coach yells at John Cena’s dad and makes Cena vs. Randy Orton III in a Last Man Standing match. Cena runs in to grab Coach by the lapels and say you don’t mess with family before throwing him down.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry attacked Henry and put him out of action a few months ago, meaning it is time for revenge. And pain.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants Undertaker out here, which triggers the big intro, complete with gong. The set even falls down to reveal Undertaker’s symbol, which catches on fire. Undertaker rises up and yeah this is going to hurt. Henry backs up from the staredown and Undertaker starts punching away at the bell. A charge is pulled out of the air though and Henry drives him into the corner.

Undertaker headbutts his way out of trouble but Old School is broken up. Instead it’s a superplex to bring Undertaker crashing back down but he doesn’t take kindly to being kicked in the face. A clothesline knocks Henry outside and Undertaker punches him up against the barricade. Undertaker stops to glare at the referee though, allowing Henry to hit what might have been a low blow.

Back in and a splash gives Henry two, followed by a second for two more. The third misses though, meaning it’s time for the slugout. Undertaker tries what looks to be a Downward Spiral but it gets countered into something like an STO (or Henry didn’t know how to take it). There’s another splash (ok we get the idea) but this time Undertaker sits up when Henry doesn’t cover.

Some charges in the corner set up Old School and the chokeslam drops Henry for another two. Henry cuts off a charge with a bearhug so Undertaker grabs him by the throat. That’s countered with a drive into the corner so Henry can rain down right hands. Since Henry has apparently not watched an Undertaker match in the last seven years or so, he earns the Last Ride out of the corner to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C+. I can go for Undertaker throwing people around and that Last Ride looked pretty awesome, as Henry pretty much crashed down from the ropes. Undertaker was going to win here, but it was about bringing him back and putting him straight into the main event scene again. Good enough power brawl, even if it wasn’t about the drama over the results.

Undertaker signals that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It says a lot that it felt like nothing happened here despite the World Title changing hands. The wrestling was decent enough, though nothing is worth watching and some of the matches are forgettable just a little bit after the show ended. The show isn’t bad and there are some completely watchable parts, but it is the most skippable show I can remember in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2007
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the waste of time that was Unforgiven and now it is time to start getting ready for No Mercy. Last night’s show was so important that they have already announced the main event for next month’s pay per view. John Cena got disqualified against Randy Orton, so it’s time for a Last Man Standing match for Cena’s title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton, with Cena snapping over Orton attacking Cena’s father.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows he hasn’t been himself lately and he wants to say he is sorry. Tonight he is better though and he feels FABULOUS. It feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders because he lost to Randy Orton! Last night his dad had the guts to show up and make him the proudest son in the world. Orton is stupid enough to think this is over and want a rematch. Then there is Coach, who made it even worse for Orton by giving him a Last Man Standing match at No Mercy.

That means no rules, no pinfalls and no disqualifications, so what he did last night is perfectly legal. At No Mercy, he is going through Orton like a hot knife through butter….but here is Coach to interrupt. Coach says that Cena should be glad he still has a job after last night, so tonight it’s payback time. Tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena, which works rather well for the champ. Hold on though, because Coach didn’t mean this Cena, but rather Cena’s dad, who can either have the match or have Cena stripped of the title.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and gets caught in a northern lights suplex just after the bell. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs to put Benjamin down though and Hardy takes over. There’s an armdrag into an armbar and they fight over a top wristlock. A backdrop puts Benjamin on the apron and there’s a kick to the chest to put him outside. Hardy hits the required dive to take Benjamin down again and we take a break.

Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank (with the replay showing Hardy missing the Whisper in the Wind and getting kicked in the head) before pounding away in the corner. A neckbreaker gives Benjamin two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. Now the Whisper in the Wind can work but Benjamin grabs a backbreaker for two more. A reverse DDT gets the same so Benjamin puts him on top, only to get shoved down. The Swanton retains Jeff’s title.

Rating: C+. You knew these two were going to be able to have a good match with each other due to pure talent and it was a completely fine TV title defense for Hardy. It’s a way to get Hardy back on track after he got squashed by Khali last week so this was about as fine of a way as he had to be back to normal again.

The Diva Search finalists play beach volleyball. I think you get the idea here. In case you didn’t, there is a limbo competition on WWE.com.

Coach joins an annoyed Vince McMahon in his limo to try and calm him down. Vince is annoyed about Hornswoggle….who is in the limo also, eating Lucky Charms and restrained by tape because he’s an infant. How we didn’t hear Hornswoggle until the camera was on him is not clear, but Coach takes him inside (biting ensues).

John Cena tries to talk his dad out of wrestling tonight but Cena’s dad insists on doing it.

Santino knocks on the Divas locker room door, looking for Maria, but finding Jillian Hall instead. Maria wanted to see the Condemned, even though Steve Austin’s performance was worse than Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards. Jillian: “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!” Santino wants to impress Maria so Jillian suggests a country duet together (Nashville and all). She starts a little Achy Breaky Heart and Santino agrees to save his ears. Don’t worry either, as he has another idea.

Vince McMahon is still yelling at Coach but they hear Irish music coming from Vince’s office. The office is now filled with green balloons and shamrocks, plus piles of Lucky Charms. Vince: “THIS IS ON YOU!” Hornswoggle pops up so Coach chases him off as a unicorn pops up to scare Vince.

Jim Duggan vs. Daivari

Flag match because reasons. Daivari goes for the flag to start but gets pulled back down. They take turns pulling the others to the mat until Daivari gets crotched on top. Duggan punches him down, then sends him into the post and pulls down the flag for the win.

Cody Rhodes volunteers to take John Cena’s dad’s place against Randy Orton but Coach turns him down. John Cena comes in and threatens Coach, who gives Cena a match tonight. If Cena wins, his dad is off the hook, but if not, the match is still on.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. As you might have seen last week, he has indeed fathered a son in Hornswoggle, who comes out doing a jig. Vince kneels down next to Hornswoggle and says that when he dies, Hornswoggle will get a lot of money. Hornswoggle: “Money money!” Vince has some papers with him tonight….because he is putting Hornswoggle up for adoption!

Cue a couple (Ed and Alice Koskey) with their attorney but Hornswoggle hugs Vince. That doesn’t sit well with the boss, so Hornswoggle pulls down Ed’s pants and bites the back of Alice’s dress. The Koskeys run off so Vince gets serious and tells him to get away from him. Vince throws him out and the fans are not happy with him. He insists that anyone here would have done the same thing but here is HHH to interrupt.

HHH takes credit for decorating Vince’s office earlier, which was difficult because it’s hard to find a unicorn around here. He knew Vince had slept with some trolls, but he didn’t know about elves, fairies and hobgoblins. Vince: “I’VE NEVER SLEPT WITH FAIRIES!” HHH: “That’s not what I read on the internet.” HHH thinks the Genetic Jackhammer had too much genetic Jack Daniels and now he’s a genetic jackass.

It isn’t surprising though, because he is short tempered, short sighted and a certain part of him is microscopic. Vince: “Are you finished?” HHH: “That’s the same thing Hornswoggle’s mom asked you the night you slipped her the shillelagh.” Just between them, did they do it on the Yellow Brick Road? Vince is livid, but one more question: was she magically delicious? Vince puts him in a match right now, which I believe had been mentioned earlier.

HHH vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Joined in progress with HHH clotheslining them down as Carlito comes out to watch. We settle down to Cade hitting a neckbreaker for two as we’ll be having tags in this one. Murdoch comes in and pounds away in the corner, setting up a Blockbuster for two. Cade grabs the neck crank before switching to a leg lariat for two. HHH fights up without much trouble though, knocks Murdoch off the apron, and finishes Cade with the spinebuster.

Rating: C-. I know it’s HHH, but beating the Tag Team Champions on your own so quickly isn’t exactly the easiest thing to see. It would be nice if there were some other villains who could have taken this spot but that isn’t how the tag team division works. This was about having HHH break a sweat before we get to continue the epic HHH vs. Carlito feud. I’m sure there are twelve people out there who want to see it keep going.

Post match Carlito, Cade and Murdoch stomp HHH down but Paul London and Brian Kendrick make the save. Cade and Murdoch leave so Carlito gets Pedigreed. HHH isn’t sure what to think….and Pedigrees both of them.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Melina/Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Mickie and Melina lock up to start until a neckbreaker takes Melina down. Jillian shoves Mickie off the top though and gets to come in to toss Mickie down by the hair. That’s about it for Mickie being in trouble though and she gets over for the tag off to Candice. House is cleaned and the Candy Wrapper finishes Jillian in short order.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to glare at Candice.

The Condemned is on DVD tomorrow.

Vince McMahon is leaving and recaps the night, with Coach saying no one has seen Hornswoggle since Vince yelled at him. With that, Vince gets in his limo to leave, with Hornswoggle popping out of the trunk.

John Cena vs. ???

Non-title and if Cena wins, his dad is out of the match with Randy Orton. The opponent is….Santino Marella, which has Cena wondering if this is serious. So Santino is doing this to impress Maria, but Coach agreed to it? Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle but Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena for the DQ.

Post match Orton handcuffs him to the ropes. Cue Coach to say that the match is still on, because Cena had to win the match by pinfall. That feels like a quick correction for Orton hitting the wrong person.

Randy Orton vs. Mr. Cena

For reasons I don’t want to fathom, Orton went backstage during the break and does a full entrance here. John Cena is still on the floor and handcuffed to the bottom rope. The bell rings so Orton knocks him down and starts the stomping while looking down at Cena on the floor. The beating continues until Cody Rhodes runs in for the DQ.

Post match Orton sends Rhodes into the steps and RKO’s Mr. Cena. With his dad down, Cena unhooks the turnbuckle to escape and chases Orton off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Outside of Vince now having a son and interacting with him, this felt like a show where almost nothing changed. Cena still wants to wreck Orton for what he did to his dad, HHH is still tormenting Vince and….what else is there here? It isn’t a bad show, but it seems like everything is in a holding pattern until everyone gets back from their suspensions. Understandable, but it isn’t making things easy to watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Another WWE Name Released After Nearly Thirty Years With The Company.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/another-wwe-name-released-nearly-thirty-years-company/

WWE Stars Announce New Upcoming Reality Series.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-stars-announce-new-upcoming-reality-series/

WWE Hall Of Famer Undergoes Spinal Surgery, Can Never Wrestle Again.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wwe-hall-famer-undergoes-spinal-surgery-can-never-wrestle/

WRESTLING RUMORS: What Vince McMahon Thinks Of Cody Rhodes Coming To WWE.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/wrestling-rumors-vince-mcmahon-thinks-cody-rhodes-coming-wwe/

Stipulation Expected To Be Added To WWE Elimination Chamber Grudge Match.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/stipulation-expected-added-wwe-elimination-chamber-grudge-match/

Surprising Backstage Reaction To Brandi Rhodes Leaving AEW.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/surprising-backstage-reaction-brandi-rhodes-leaving-aew/

Jim Ross Gives Important Update On His AEW Contract And Future.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/jim-ross-gives-important-update-aew-contract-future/

WATCH: WWE Stars Go Dancing In Saudi Arabia.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/watch-wwe-stars-go-dancing-saudi-arabia/

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