Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

It’s another show posted to the WWE Vault and that means it is worth a look. The big feud on Raw is HHH vs. Randy Orton and his Legacy stable and that means it is time for a showdown in the Rumble. Other than that, Edge is trying to get the Smackdown World Title back from Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We’re in Detroit so naturally there is a car theme.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Hardy backs him into the corner as Striker explains what you need to do to win a title in WWE. Good information but Striker manages to sound annoying no matter what. They head outside with Hardy hitting a hard right hand, followed by a clothesline back inside.

We settle down to Swagger easily wrestling him to the mat, followed by a Gator Roll into a hammerlock. That’s broken up and Hardy grabs his running bulldog out of the corner for two. Swagger runs him over again though and we’re right back to cranking on the arm. A clothesline is blocked and Swagger kicks the bad arm (that’s smart) for two before working on it again.

Back up and Hardy gets smart by using the good arm for a clothesline. Another corner clothesline and bulldog get two on Swagger, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck for the same. Swagger goes after the arm again and takes Hardy up top, only to get knocked backwards for a not very elevated moonsault to give Hardy two. Back up and the Twist Of Fate is blocked, with Hardy being sent shoulder first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title at 10:28.

Rating: B-. The match was good enough but Swagger really isn’t that interesting. He’s a bigger guy and the Swagger Bomb looked good, but that’s about all he had going for him a lot of the time. Hardy was dropping back down the card and having Swagger beat him here wasn’t exactly a great sign for his career.

Hardy gets a slow walk out and sits on the steps. What a mopey Matt.

Randy Orton arrived earlier today and people weren’t exactly happy with him. He’s rather violent you see.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending and has Santino Marella with her. Melina gets thrown down a few times to start so she tries striking away. That earns her another knockdown, only for Melina to start working on the arm. Phoenix isn’t having that and powers her up into the air for a drop onto the turnbuckle.

Something like an ankle lock works on Melina’s recent injury, but Phoenix cranks on it so hard that she makes Melina kick herself in the back of the head (that’s rather nuts when you think about it). With that broken up (and probably some leg issues), Melina fights out and gets two off a sunset flip, followed by…I’m not sure what happened but it looked like Melina dove into an atomic drop. Back up and Phoenix seems to try the Glam Slam but gets reversed into a cradle for the pin to make Melina champion at 5:57.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than what you would see from a lot of the women’s division around this point and that shouldn’t be a surprise. That being said, the only thing that really stood out here was Melina kicking herself in the back of the head (not something you often say). Good enough match here, but the women’s division was only starting to get it together again.

We recap JBL challenging John Cena for the Raw world Title. JBL wants the title and, because the economy was a big issue at this point, Shawn Michaels is broke and working for JBL as a result. Basically JBL is offering to pay off Michaels’ debts in exchange for helping him win the title. Michaels hates everything he has to do at the moment but does it because he has no other choice. As usual, JBL is only so interesting and is more surrounded by interesting people than anything else.

JBL tells Michaels that if he wins the title tonight, he’ll pay Michaels off in full and their arrangement is over. Then JBL leaves and Michaels runs into the Undertaker, who says it can be H*** getting to Heaven. And there’s your tease for the Wrestlemania masterpiece.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and has Shawn Michaels in his corner. As usual, Cena just looks weird with the Big Gold Belt. Cena headlocks him down to start but JBL reverses into one of his own as they’re starting fairly slowly. Back up and Cena elbows him for two, with JBL bailing to the floor for a chat with Michaels. Cena grabs a bulldog into the Throwback for two and they go outside, where JBL sends him into the steps for two back inside.

The pace slows WAY down (shocking I know) and JBL grabs a chinlock, followed by a side slam for two. Cena gets knocked outside for a whip into the barricade as JBL on offense continues to just kill any match. A superplex is broken up and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser for two as the comeback is on. The AA is broken up so Cena pulls him into the STF, leaving Michaels looking….we’ll go with sleepy.

Michaels touches the ropes so Cena lets it go, only to be kicked out to the floor for a crash. Back in and the Clothesline From JBL gets two but the referee gets bumped (it was a matter of time). Michaels gets in, superkicks JBL, stares a lot, and then superkicks Cena as well. He puts JBL on Cena and goes to leave, seemingly disgusted with himself. Another referee runs in to count two so Cena gets up and hits the AA to retain at 15:28.

Rating: C-. This is a case where the story works well on paper, but it’s just not that interesting. A good bit of that hangs on JBL, who could talk well enough and played an effective role, but he could not hang in the ring. The Michaels part was basically kicking the story to the next month and that’s only so good. Not much to see here, as even with Michaels, JBL felt like more of an annoyance to Cena than any kind of a threat.

We recap Jeff Hardy defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge. Hardy beat Edge (and HHH) at Armageddon back in December for one of the best feel good moments you’ll ever see in WWE. Then bad things started happening to Hardy, from someone nearly running him off the road to pyro burning his face. Someone is out to get Hardy, who thinks that Edge attacked him before Hardy’s title shot at Survivor Series, while Edge wants to prove that Hardy’s win was a fluke by taking the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending and looks like the kid who got an ugly sweater at Christmas. Before the match, Vickie Guerrero comes out to make it No DQ and Edge has Chavo Guerrero with him. Hardy drives Edge into the corner to start and stomps away, followed by a running forearm. Edge bails out to the floor so Hardy gives chase, only to grab a chair rather than go in unarmed. This takes a bit too long though and Edge kicks him down, which isn’t a huge surprise given how long Hardy took.

That’s shrugged off and Hardy hits a basement dropkick before sending Edge outside for a big dive. Back in and Edge boots him in the face to break up a springboard and Hardy crashes out to the floor. Hardy gets sent into various things, including all three announcers’ tables, before getting kicked down back inside. A waistlock works on Hardy’s ribs and Edge pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback.

Edge gets frustrated so he tries a chair of his own but Hardy hits a running shoulder to knock him off the apron. That means a slingshot dive and they fight to the apron, where Hardy drops him again. Since it’s Hardy vs. Edge, Hardy pulls out a ladder and goes up but has to deal with Chavo. Hardy knocks him off the ladder and hits a dive before posting Edge, who has a piece of paper stuck to his back for some reason.

Ever the genius, Hardy hits a dive off the ladder to put Chavo through the announcers’ table (with the ladder slipping out from underneath him as he jumped for a scary near miss). Back in and Hardy gets two off a high crossbody but Edge boots him in the face for a double down. It’s time to take off a turnbuckle pad, which is enough of a delay for Hardy to hit a Whisper In The Wind for two more.

The back and forth continues with an implant DDT to give Edge another near fall. Hardy is back up with the sitout gordbuster, only to be dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Instead of countering, Edge tries the spear, which is countered into a Twist Of Fate. Cue Vickie to break up the Swanton but Hardy hits it anyway, only for Vickie to pull the referee. Cue Matt Hardy with a chair to cut Vickie off…and then chair Jeff down with a nasty shot to the head. Edge is stunned as he gets the pin and the title back at 19:24.

Rating: B. These two work well together but Jeff couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any more than when he came to the ring looking all upset. Matt’s turn at the end was a surprise way to go, even after the bit of a tease earlier in the night. Jeff fighting off the odds worked well enough, but at the same time he was going move for move with Edge and that part was even better. It was a good match and felt big, but the title change didn’t come off quite as big as the swerve.

We get the series of replays and rather sad voices from the announcers after the big betrayal. For once, they feel mostly earned.

Rumble By The Numbers!

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors

36 people that Steve Austin eliminated

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

1 woman ever to enter, with Chyna

62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted in 1989

3 times that Austin won, the most ever

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30. As usual, only Shawn Michaels is mentioned as a winner from that spot

27, which has had 4 winners (John Studd in 1989, Yokozuna in 1993, Bret Hart in 1994, Steve Austin in 2001)

70% of winners who have gone on to win the World Title since 1993.

Some of these have of course been broken since, but dang this works every time.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rey Mysterio is in at #1 and John Morrison is in at #2. Mysterio starts fast by sliding between Morrison’s legs and kicking him in the face but gets sent to the apron rather early. It’s way too early for that so Mysterio is back in with a springboard high crossbody into a rather spinny headscissors. Morrison manages to hang onto the top even through a dropkick and it’s Carlito in at #3.

The apple goes into Morrison’s face and a swinging neckbreaker drops Mysterio. Carlito’s double springboard moonsault hits Morrison and he stomps away in the corner until MVP is in at #4. MVP gets to fire off some shots, including the running boot in the corner, but Mysterio grabs a headscissors to slow him down. Great Khali is in at #5 though and everyone gets focused. They also get beaten up, with Mysterio’s springboard dropkick barely staggering Khali and the Backstabber not working at all. Everyone is down with no one out as Vladimir Kozlov in at #6.

Kozlov goes after Khali and eliminates him without much trouble (that’s fairly impressive) before dumping MVP as well. A spinebuster puts Carlito down and that’s enough to toss him out too. Mysterio strikes away at Kozlov until a headbutt cuts him off but HHH is in at #7 to make things more serious. Some right hands and the facebuster are enough to get rid of Kozlov and things slow down.

Randy Orton is in at #8 and immediately hits the backbreaker on HHH but the RKO is blocked. Morrison breaks up the Pedigree and Mysterio gives Orton a springboard seated senton. There’s a 619 to Morrison as…JTG of Cryme Tyme (who wins a coin toss with Shad Gaspard, naturally with a double sided coin) is in at #9. That goes nowhere so it’s Ted DiBiase Jr. (part of Orton’s Legacy group) in at #10, giving us Mysterio, Morrison, HHH, Orton, JTG and DiBiase.

Morrison and JTG are sent over the top but both hang on and kick away at each other before getting back in. Mysterio has to hang on as well and can’t quite get rid of DiBiase at the same time. Chris Jericho is in at #11 and still has a lot of pyro. Jericho goes right after Orton but switches to HHH, who blocks a questionable Walls attempt. Things slow down a lot until Mike Knox is in at #12.

Knox goes after Mysterio, who he disliked because Knox is a monster. Legacy goes after JTG in a bit of an odd move and it’s the Miz in at #13. Miz and Morrison can’t do much with Orton, who snaps off a string of RKO’s. The Pedigree cuts Orton off though and HHH gets rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time. Finlay, with Hornswoggle, is in at #14 as Mysterio is thrown over the top but lands on Miz and Morrison to save himself in a nice sequence. The brawling goes on around the ring until Cody Rhodes is in at #15 to complete Legacy.

Mysterio tries a springboard at Orton, who RKO’s him out of the air in another sweet visual. Undertaker is in at #16 and the match stops with everyone forming a line to go after him. House is cleaned but only JTG is tossed out, which doesn’t feel overly important. The Snake Eyes/big boot combination hits Rhodes, and speaking of Rhodes, Goldust is in at #17. Goldust slugs away at Rhodes but walks into the RKO, which lets Orton give Rhodes a bit of a lesson. Rhodes throws Goldust out and it’s CM Punk in at #18.

Punk gets to strike away as we hear about some of his career accomplishments. HHH’s Pedigree is countered into the Go To Sleep and Mark Henry is in at #19 as the ring is way too full. A World’s Strongest Slam hits HHH and Shelton Benjamin is in at #20. That gives us Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Henry and Benjamin for a lot of star power but way too many people overall.

Benjamin hits Paydirt on Finlay before running the corner for a double super Paydirt to Jericho and Punk. The Dragon Whip hits Henry as Benjamin is getting in a heck of a run here. William Regal is in at #21 and goes after Punk before Mysterio low bridges Henry out. Kofi Kingston, still Jamaican, is in at #22 and starts striking away, including the Boom Drop to Knox. Benjamin dives at Undertaker in the corner, who kind of spinebusters him down and then tosses him out in a heap.

Mysterio is hanging upside down on the post as Kane is in at #23. Kane goes after DiBiase but stops to stare at the bloody Undertaker. The double chokeslam plants DiBiase and solo versions take down Kingston and Jericho. Regal is tossed by Punk and R-Truth is in at #24. Kane is sent to the apron but manages to hang on, with Legacy just kind of letting him go in a not so bright move.

Rob Van Dam returns in a surprise at #25 and comes in with a top rope kick to Kane. Van Dam fires off a bunch of clotheslines until Brian Kendrick is in at #26. Kendrick gets rid of Kingston, who didn’t have the fancy saves for a few more years. HHH tosses Kendrick and does his staggering around thing. Dolph Ziggler (still relatively new) gets lucky #27 and is tossed out almost immediately by Kane. Rhodes gives Punk an electric chair drop as we get another slow down.

Santino Marella is in at #28 and is clotheslined out by Kane in one second to break the Warlord’s record. Jericho hammers on Undertaker in the corner and…actually doesn’t get Last Rided for a change. Only in the Rumble. Kane can’t quite get rid of HHH as Jim Duggan is in at #29. The big AMERICAN right hands stagger various people to quite the reaction and it’s Big Show in at #30. That gives us a field of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, Van Dam, Duggan and Show for quite the final grouping.

Kane goes after Show but can’t get very far, leaving Show to eliminate Duggan. Show throws out R-Truth as well but Undertaker can’t do the same to Rhodes. Punk saves himself and strikes away at Show, who still can’t get rid of him. The WMD is enough to knock Punk out though and things are finally/thankfully thinning out a bit. Knox and Mysterio (that’s not much after being in there for so long) are put out at the same time as Hornswoggle comes in for some reason.

Finlay breaks that up but gets thrown out by Kane to get us down to nine. Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the hanging DDT on HHH. Lawler: “This will be worse than being eliminated!” No King, it won’t be. Undertaker wins a slugout with Show and Van Dam hits the Five Star on Orton, only to get tossed by Jericho. Undertaker tosses Jericho and we’re down to Undertaker, Kane, Show, Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes and HHH.

Legacy gets rid of Kane and everyone goes to a corner. A triple team on Undertaker doesn’t work for Legacy, who starts snapping off chokeslams. Undertaker and Show slug it out again until Undertaker kicks him out to the apron. Show gets tossed but pulls Undertaker out with him, setting up yet another feud between these two.

Undertaker and Show brawl into the crowd as it’s down to HHH and Legacy. The trio surrounds HHH, who fires a crotch chop and starts swinging, which doesn’t last long before the beatdown is on. HHH fights out and hits a facebuster and hits a Pedigree on Rhodes. DiBiase is tossed and so is Rhodes, only for Orton to dump HHH for the win at 58:39.

Rating: B-. I haven’t watched this one in a long time and I had a good time with most of it, even with the ring being too full near the end. There is a lot of star power here and most of the deadwood didn’t stay around too long. There were a few good surprises (Van Dam was great) and while HHH and Orton were the only viable options, it felt like there was other stuff going on rather than just waiting around for them to win. Good Rumble here and a nice one to visit after a long time away.

Overall Rating: B. As usual, the Rumble is going to carry the weight of this show because it takes up so much time. That made for a good show this time as the Rumble worked well enough, with the rest of the show supporting it. Well most of it as Cena vs. JBL just did not work very well, but everything else was perfectly fine at worst. It’s a good overall show, especially coming into it completely fresh.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: B-

GEEZ did I just hate Orton when I watched this the first two times? I was surprised to see that I had been consistent in my pretty strong dislike of the Rumble the first two times as it might not be a classic but it’s certainly not a D. The rest of the show mostly lines up, save for the women’s match which was really just ok more than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

I believe this is my fifth time reviewing this show but I’m always curious to see how much different it feels having recently watched the TV leading up to it. The show has been set for a long time now and that means we need to get on with the pay per view already. Of course there is the Royal Rumble, but the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton is the real draw here. This show is summed up in three words: Hardy Could Win. It worked in 2008 and it’s working again here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Royal Rumble, with this year’s being extra special because it’s in Madison Square Garden. Works for me.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Before the match, Flair talks about how he has wrestled here throughout his career, starting all the way back in 1976. Flair thanks the fans for the respect they have given him throughout the years….and then MVP’s music cuts him off. Feeling out process to start with Flair being driven back into the corner, meaning he needs to stop and think for a second.

A hammerlock sends MVP into the ropes so Flair chops him down. Back up and MVP kicks Flair in the head to take over, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Something like a crossface chickenwing keeps Flair down but MVP is no Bob Backlund, meaning Flair is right back up. Flair goes for the knee but gets knocked into the corner, allowing MVP to strike him down. The running boot in the corner gives MVP three, albeit with Flair’s foot on the ropes.

The distraction lets Flair roll him up for two so MVP grabs a butterfly suplex for two of his own. A superplex gets two more and the frustration is really setting in. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, making me wonder if a draw would end Flair’s career. Flair rolls him up a few times for two each before chopping away. That earns Flair a facebuster but the Playmaker is countered into a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much about the drama, as Flair wasn’t going to lose to MVP, even at a show like the Rumble. Instead, this was all about Flair getting in Madison Square Garden one more time and the match was built up over a few weeks. I’m not wild on the US Champion giving up clean, but there are bigger things afoot here.

Vince McMahon gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for the Royal Rumble, Finlay comes in and Vince suggests that Hornswoggle might turn on him.

And now, we meet Mike Adamle, who talks about Ric Flair’s match and throws it to a package on Chris Jericho vs. JBL.

We recap Jericho vs. JBL, which is focused on JBL not liking Jericho’s comeback and costing him the WWE Title. Then JBL took him out, setting up this showdown.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Jericho drives him into the corner to start so JBL begs off a bit. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him down and hammers away again. A missed clothesline lets Jericho grab the Walls, which sends JBL bailing to the rope. Jericho knocks him outside for a baseball slide and then sends him into the steps for a bonus. Back in and JBL drops the bad throat across the top to take over.

As you might guess, JBL starts hammering Jericho down in the corner, albeit not as fast as he did in the past. The logical sleeper goes on for a bit, until Jericho fights up and hits his own hard clothesline. Back up and JBL sends him HARD into the post, with Jericho coming up busted open. Jericho pops back to his feet and sends JBL outside despite being COVERED in blood. One heck of a chair shot to the head knocks JBL silly but also hands Jericho the DQ.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but they did a great job of setting up the violent ending. They were trying to keep the feud going here and Jericho being that busted open was a good way to accomplish just that. It was a violent fight and Jericho’s chair shot made it even better. Not too bad here, albeit with the usual Jericho pacing issues.

Post match Jericho unloads on JBL and chokes him with the camera cable as JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but Santino Marella cuts her off, saying Maria isn’t interested in Playboy. Right.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Edge won the title thanks to some assistance from Vickie Guerrero, his new girlfriend. Rey won a Beat The Clock Challenge by pinning Edge to earn the shot here, with the Rey/Guerrero family details making things even more complicated.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, with Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads, is defending. They take their time to start with Edge grabbing a wristlock. Rey kicks his way out as the fans are WAY behind Edge, with Cole writing it off as a New York thing. Edge sends him to the apron and hits a baseball slide to the floor, where the Edgeheads get THIS CLOSE to interfering. That’s enough for an ejection, allowing Rey to come back with a springboard seated senton for two.

Rey tries to pick up the pace even further but gets knocked off the top for a crash. The half crab goes on to keep Rey in trouble before Edge shifts it to something like an ankle lock. Rey’s leg is good enough to come back with an enziguri but the 619 is cut off. Back up and Rey manages to hit the sitout bulldog, setting up a kick to the head with the good leg for two.

Edge is staggered enough that Rey can knock him to the floor, setting up a sliding tornado DDT. Back in and Edge boots him down but Rey hits a quick 619. The top rope splash connects but Vickie gets out of the wheelchair to break up the pin. Rey doesn’t get distracted and sets up another 619, which only hits the interfering Vickie. That’s enough of a shock for Edge to spear Rey out of the air to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good one here, even if there was no chance of a title change here. Rey was little more than the designated victim for Edge as tends to be the case for the Royal Rumble. They had a pay per view worthy match though and Edge gets to move on to someone bigger with Wrestlemania on the way. Nice stuff here, given the circumstances.

Everyone checks on Vickie, who has to be put back in the wheelchair.

Mr. Kennedy comes in to see Ric Flair (in a towel) and condescendingly praise him for his win. Kennedy promises to win the Rumble and suggests he could retire Flair before Wrestlemania. Shawn Michaels comes in to suggest that Kennedy leave and then accidentally compares Flair to Kennedy. Flair knows Shawn is winning the Rumble tonight….and here’s Batista for an awkward staredown. And HHH too, just to make it weirder. HHH tells Ric to put his pants on and Shawn plugs his new shirt.

Here is Maria for the Kiss Cam. With that out of the way, Ashley Massaro comes out to offer Maria the Playboy spot but here is Santino Marella to say no for her. Oh and New York sports teams are awful. Maria thinks posing is a good idea so Santino has a present for her: Big Dick Johnson in New England Patriots (playing the New York Giants in the Super Bowl) gear. The women beat Johnson up to finish this one big announcement off.

Mike Adamle throws us to a package on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy.

We recap Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the WWE Title. Hardy is on the roll of a lifetime and is ready to challenge for the title. This was one of the best builds WWE has done in a LONG time as it feels like Hardy could actually pull off the huge upset. This gets the big music video treatment and it still works very well.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Hardy’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. They fight over a lockup to start until Jeff shoves him away to a rather strong reaction. Hardy grabs a headlock on the mat, which is reversed with a headscissors. That doesn’t bother Hardy, who is right back with the legdrop between the legs for two. Orton gets clotheslined to the floor and there’s the dropkick through the ropes to send him hard into the barricade.

They fight on the floor for a bit with Orton grabbing a belly to back suplex for two back inside. The circle stomp keeps Hardy in trouble and the choking has JR and King getting rather annoyed. Hardy fights up again and sends Orton over the top for a change, setting up the big dive off the apron. Back in and Jeff gets sent shoulder first into the post to put him right back down, meaning Orton can grab the chinlock.

Hardy fights up after a good while and hits the Whisper In The Wind for a rather near fall. The Swanton is loaded up but Orton rolls outside before it can launch. That’s fine with Hardy, who dropkicks Orton off the apron and hits a moonsault off the top to make it even worse. Back in and the Twist of Fate is loaded up but Orton counters into the RKO to retain the title.

Rating: B-. It didn’t have the hue moment of Hardy winning the title but it wound up being a pretty solid match with Hardy coming up just short. The problem is that they didn’t have any major spot from Hardy but you could tell that he would be back. Hardy will have to get there somewhere, though he had to come up short here, despite an amazing buildup.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

569 wrestlers eliminated
36 wrestlers eliminated by Steve Austin
11 appearances by Shawn Michaels
11 wrestlers eliminated by Kane in 2001
3 Mick Foley personae to appear in the same Royal Rumble
2 feet that have to touch the ground
1 woman to enter the match, with Chyna
62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in 1990
3 Steve Austin wins
2 wins for the #1 spot, compared to 1 win for #30
#27 produces the most winners
73% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania since 1993

Michael Buffer handles the Royal Rumble intro in a nice bonus.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 so they’re starting very fast here. Undertaker wastes no time in slugging away and even knocks Shawn onto the top. A running big boot only hits corner though and Undertaker winds up on the apron. That’s fine for him as he catches a charging Shawn by the throat and drops him with a big boot. Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect. With Santino gone, Shawn tries to toss Undertaker but gets punched in the face again. Old School is broken up without much trouble and Great Khali is in at #4.

The fans start up the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker strikes away at Khali and actually choke shoves him out. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and actually hangs on for a bit by slugging it out with Undertaker. That earns him a big boot to the face but Shawn goes to eliminate Undertaker, allowing Holly to fire off some chops in the corner. John Morrison is in at #6 and it’s time for people to start pairing off. With nothing going on, Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 because we needed some ECW chants.

Dreamer does about what you would expect from him until Batista is in at #8 to keep the star power up. Dreamer breaks up the Undertaker vs. Batista showdown and is promptly eliminated (serves him right). Batista spears Morrison down as commentary thinks teaming up on Undertaker/Batista/Shawn makes sense. Hornswoggle is in at #9 and goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Batista hits another spear on Undertaker and Holly backdrops Shawn.

Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (under the ring) and Palumbo. Morrison saves himself from elimination as the six in the ring pair off a bit. The banged up Jamie Noble is in at #11 and lasts all of thirty seconds before getting tossed by Palumbo. CM Punk is in at #12 and gets his face blasted off by Shawn’s clothesline. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and manages to dropkick Undertaker down as Punk knocks Palumbo out. Umaga is in at #14 and Spikes Holly out to keep the numbers even.

Snitsky is in at #15 and stomps on Cody in the corner until Miz is in at #16. Undertaker goes after Umaga (weird pairing) but can’t get him out. Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 and snaps Miz and Morrison’s throats on the top. Paydirt hits Punk but Shawn superkicks Shelton out in less than twenty seconds. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 for the big nostalgia pop in the Garden. Punk goes straight for him because he wants to get knocked down by Snuka.

Speaking of Snuka, he got a big pop at #18, but Roddy Piper is in at #19 for a bigger one. Everything stops cold for the Piper vs. Snuka showdown and yeah ok this is awesome. Kane is in at #20 and tosses Piper and Snuka without much trouble. That leaves us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still underneath the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Umaga breaks up a chokeslam to Shawn and it’s Carlito in at #21.

Punk and Morrison almost toss Carlito out but he springboards back and catches Punk with a Backstabber. Mick Foley is in at #22 to start cleaning house but Umaga runs a lot of people over as well. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 and hits some Mic Checks before kicking down a sitting up Undertaker. That’s not cool with Undertaker who gives him a chokeslam and gets his own chance to clean house.

Big Daddy V is in at #24 and Undertaker knocks Snitsky out, only to get superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy tosses Shawn immediately thereafter and the ring is suddenly a lot more empty. Shawn lands at Undertaker’s feet but Undertaker beats up Snitsky to let off steam instead. Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron but it’s Mark Henry in at #25. Henry and V start getting all dominant as Hornswoggle pops out to pull Miz to the floor for an elimination.

Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Punk is right on him as Kane boots Morrison out. Hornswoggle pops out again and gets grabbed by Henry and V. Cue Finlay with the shillelagh (I guess in at #27) for the save and he leaves with Hornswoggle, which apparently counts as a double elimination. Elijah Burke is in at #28 as JR says Finlay was officially disqualified for the shillelagh. Batista is knocked outside (not eliminated) and Chavo dumps out Punk to keep their feud going.

HHH is in at #29 and this should clear some people out. There goes Rhodes and V follows him, setting up the HHH vs. Foley slugout. HHH sends Foley into Burke for the double elimination and Umaga misses a charge into the post. There’s the Pedigree to Umaga…..and none of that matters as JOHN CENA returns at #30 to an all time shocked reaction.

It wasn’t clear if Cena was going to be back by Wrestlemania but since Cena doesn’t seem to be a human, he’s already back after two months instead of about six. That gives us a final grouping of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena. After being shocked, the fans remember to boo Cena as he fires out Carlito, Henry and Chavo.

We get the big Cena vs. HHH showdown with HHH hitting the spinebuster but getting dropped by Umaga. Batista spears Umaga down and tosses Kennedy, followed by a running clothesline to get rid of Umaga. We’re down to Kane, Batista, HHH and Cena, with HHH and Batista quickly tossing Kane. They stare at each other for a long time before the fight is on. Batista clotheslines them both down and spinebusters HHH but Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb.

That’s enough for the elimination and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena. That means some sign pointing before the BOO/YAY slugout begins. Cena hits the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle but the AA is blocked. The double clothesline leaves them both down for a needed breather for both them and the fans. Back up and another AA attempt is countered and HHH hits a DDT to take over. HHH can’t throw him out and can’t Pedigree him either, as Cena reverses into an AA for the win.

Rating: B. This match had a lot of the things that a great Rumble needs, ranging from surprises (especially the big one at the end) to star power throughout to a few fun moments like Foley, Piper and Snuka. The Cena return is what people remember about this match though and that is all it needed to be, as that was a genuine shock for a great moment. Quite good Rumble, with the Cena part being the big icing on the cake.

Cena celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is the biggest one match show of the year and as it goes, so goes the rest of the show. The other four matches on here were good enough but there was nothing worth going out of your way to see. Cena being back breathes a lot of life into the show but it was still a good one even coming to that point. Not an all time classic, but there are far worse ways to spend two hours and forth five minutes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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NXT
Date: January 13, 2026
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Booker T.

And then everything changed. The big story of the first show of the year is all of the callups, which have left a bunch of open spots on the NXT roster. Those are likely going to be filled by Evolve stars, meaning things are going to be changing around here. This includes Oba Femi vacating the NXT Title and that is going to have to be addressed. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a New Year’s Evil recap.

IMG Credit: WWE

Ava is in the ring with the NXT Title and the roster around the ring. She says there is no better moment than right now but here is Ricky Saints to interrupt. Saints takes credit for running a lot of people around NXT but sees some future champions around the ring. He’s ready to get the championship right now…though that isn’t happening. Instead, it’s going to be a six way ladder match on February 3 for the title. Well happy birthday to me. Qualifying matches start next week and the brawl is on, with Evolve’s Keanu Carver coming in to wreck people, including tossing them around.

Post break Ava is on the phone with someone, who will be here tonight. Someone who looks like Tony D’Angelo walks behind her as Robert Stone says Blake Monroe has something to say tonight.

Kelani Jordan vs. Lola Vice

Jordan dropkicks her off the apron before the bell but gets knocked out of the air back inside. They slug it out on the mat as the bell rings with Jordan rolling her up for two. Vice is back up with knees to the ribs and pulls her into something like a triangle choke, which is broken with a grab of the arm. They head outside with Vice being kicked into the announcers’ table and we take a break.

We come back with Vice winning a strike out but Jordan rolls outside before the hip attack can connect in the corner. Jordan kicks her down and gets two off a frog splash but One Of A Kind is countered into a triangle choke. A spinning Angle Slam drops Vice again and Jordan rolls her up. The referee catches the hand on the ropes (not so much the one on the tights), allowing Vice to hit the spinning backfist for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: C+. These two are suddenly some of the more established names in the division and it felt like a big enough deal to have them facing off. Either one of them winning was fine, though Vice is the one who shouldn’t be losing again. Jordan needs something else to do, even if she’s fitting into the heel role rather well.

Tavion Heights is ready to win the Speed Title, but Jasper Troy disagrees.

IMG Credit: WWE

Speed Title: Tavion Heights vs. Jasper Troy

Troy is defending and shrugs off Heights’ wrestling attempts to start. Some splashes have Heights rolling outside about a minute in and Troy gets to hammer away back inside. Heights fights out of a seated abdominal stretch and grabs a suplex for two. The comeback has Troy staggered but he grabs a Black Hole Slam for the retaining pin at 4:09.

Rating: C. As usual, there is only so much to see in a Speed Title match, though at least they’re letting Troy get a few wins. He hasn’t been around long enough to reach that level yet so this is what he needs to do. Keeping the matches short is smart too, though it would be nice to not see Heights loose so often.

Post match Lexis King runs in to lay Heights out.

Wren Sinclair and Kendal Grey get in an argument with Sol Ruca and Zaria over who should face Jacy Jayne next. The four of them go into Ava’s office, where Fatal Influence is waiting. Ava has talked to Santino Marella, and an NXT team is getting a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot. Next week, it’s a triple threat #1 contenders match. Arguing ensues.

Lexis King talks to Chase U, who says that was a teachable moment in what not to do. Stacks comes in to praise King, with Chase U leaving.

Myles Borne really wants one of the qualifying matches for the ladder match and Robert Stone will talk to Ava for him.

Video on Elio LeFleur, the French luchador, who is coming soon.

Ethan Page asks Ava about the NXT Title qualifying match but she says he’s not in one. She’ll change her mind but it would cost him the North American Title. Page brags about his success, with Ava agreeing….before saying he’s defending against Elio LeFleur next week.

Here is Blake Monroe for a chat. Last week, she was ready to get the Women’s North American Title back but instead, she attacked Thea Hail. Everything was changed like she was the problem, but the reality is that someone as talented as she is always gets the narrative changed.

No one compares to her and everything she does has everyone in a frenzy. There are all kinds of stars…and Jaida Parker is back to interrupt. The fans go absolutely nuts for her and the brawl is on in a hurry. Parker sends her into the corner, high steps a bit, and Hipnotiques her to the floor. Parker continues to have all of the potential imaginable.

Shiloh Hill talks about bringing a bunch of flying squirrels into his house. Oh and he wants the TNA International Title.

Video on Darkstate, who brag about their dominance and insist that no one is safe. Does that include Darkstate? Would they beat themselves up? They might want to clarify that.

TNA International Title: Stacks vs. Shiloh Hill

Stacks, with Arianna Grace, is defending. Hill jumps him to start but gets sent into the corner but Stacks fights back. Stacks misses a charge into the corner and the armbar goes on. An elbow sends Stacks outside, where Grace saves him from being sent into the barricade. Hill hits the flipping dive off the apron and we take a break.

We come back with Stacks running him over for two more but Hill pulls him into a tilt-a-whirl for a double down. Hill takes the tooth out and it’s time to start the real comeback. A release butterfly slam gives Hill two more but Stacks is back with a fireman’s carry gutbuster for the same. Hill is back up and goes outside to put his arm around Grace ala Shawn Michaels. Back in and Hill grabs a small package but Grace kicks it over to give Stacks the pin at 10:36.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t expecting much coming into this but it worked rather well. It was nice to see Stacks getting to do something, though I’m not wild on what he does in the ring. At the same time, having another midcard title around here doesn’t do much good and hopefully it winds up back in TNA sooner than later.

IMG Credit: WWE

Here is Izzi Dame, with the Culling, for a chat. She welcomes us to the new reality of the division but she won’t give us the same tired story about stumbling into success. This was all calculation and outsmarting everyone else. What did you think she was going to do with that loss last week?

The Culling has always been about getting rid of the worst and that is what she did. We hear about some people coming for the title but Dame isn’t interested in any of them. If you come for the title, you’re walking into a trap…and here is Tatum Paxley for the brawl, with Dame running.

Ricky Saints has cooled off and is already in the ladder match and doesn’t even have to win a qualifying match. He mentions Shiloh Hill getting a qualifying match, which doesn’t sit well with Stacks. Lexis King comes up to Stacks and says they should talk.

Tatum Paxley has been ejected from the building.

The Vanity Project is officially part of the NXT roster and they’re ready to win.

Keanu Carver doesn’t want to talk.

IMG Credit: WWE

Joe Hendry vs. Dion Lennox

Anything goes and OTM/Darkstate are here too. They fight over a lockup to start with Hendry getting the better of things and sending Lennox outside. Lennox fights back and gets two off a backbreaker, meaning he can go up. Hendry is right there with a superplex to bring him back down and we take a break.

We come back with Hendry fighting out of a chinlock but getting sent into the corner a few times. Saquon Shugars puts a chair in the corner so of course Lennox goes into it instead. OTM throws Hendry some brass knuckles for a right hand and a near fall so Darkstate throws in a kendo stick. Lennox beats on Hendry, who gets the stick for a beating of his own. The Standing Ovation gets two, with Darkstate making the save.

OTM and the rest of Darkstate get into it and they all brawl to the back. That means a table can be set up in the corner, while Lennox spinebusters Hendry onto a chair. Hendry shrugs it off and hits a Standing Ovation for two of his own. A spear sends Hendry through the table in the corner…and Tony D’Angelo cuts off Lennox’s chair shot. D’Angelo lays out Lennox and then does the same to Hendry, though he lays Hendry on top for the win at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Well, it certainly wasn’t boring and I’m curious about what they’re going to do with D’Angelo. Granted I’m also scared that they’re going to screw him up, but I’ll take the interest over nothing. Lennox still doesn’t quite feel like a main event star, but at least he’s getting some time in prominent spots.

Post match Ava sends security in so D’Angelo beats them up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s an understatement to say that we’re in a transitional period around here and that is going to be the case for a good while. With so many people moving here and there, you’re going to see a lot of changes taking place. That’s going to make things tricky, but it’s the kind of thing that has to happen in a place designed to help people get out of here. I’m curious to see what happens, though more than a bit worried about there it might be going.

Results
Lola Vice b. Kelani Jordan – Spinning backfist
Jasper Troy b. Tavion Heights – Black Hole Slam
Stacks b. Shiloh Hill – Small package
Joe Hendry b. Dion Lennox – Spinebuster

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 12, 2026
Location: PSD Bank Dome, Dusseldorf, Germany
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

We’re live overseas this week and in this case that means it’s time for a big showdown. This week features Gunther vs. AJ Styles, who is not happy with how Gunther has been acting since defeating John Cena last month. Other than that, the Royal Rumble is rapidly approaching and that could make for some interesting situations. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here are Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky to celebrate their title win last week. They’re thrilled to be champions and are ready for anyone so here are Liv Morgan and Roxanne Perez to interrupt. Morgan talks about how she never lost her title and wants it back but here are Bayley and Lyra Valkyria to interrupt. Bayley wants a title shot as well, but we do pause for the fans to sing to her. Sky seems ready to face them both but here are the Kabuki Warriors to start the big brawl. The champs clean house.

AJ Styles is ready for Gunther and is rather serious.

Finn Balor is in the back playing video games but Liv Morgan comes in and yells at him for not being serious enough. Roxanne Perez agrees.

Je’Von Evans vs. Bravo Americano

Bravo slaps him to start but misses a charge and gets slapped right back. A running hurricanrana takes Bravo down but Bravo drops him rather quickly. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Evans is back up with a kick to the face. Bravo is right back with the spinning torture rack, even with no hands, as Cole can’t quite place who Bravo reminds him of from history. Bravo goes up and is super Spanish Flied right back down, setting up the OG Cutter (top rope cutter) for the pin at 6:17.

Rating: C+. This was all about Evans getting his feet wet and that worked out fine. He’s quite the athlete and it should be interesting to see what he can do on the main roster. Being able to do that kind of stuff in the ring will get him far enough, though I could go with a halt on all the top and middle rope cutters from everyone for a long time.

Post match the Americanos go after Evans, who jumps over the announcers’ table and escapes.

Adam Pearce tells Paul Heyman to inform Bron Breakker to go home if he’s going to have bad intentions. Heyman doesn’t care to be a messenger boy but seems to agree.

IMG Credit: WWE

Here is CM Punk for a chat. Punk talks about how he’s going to be champion for a long time and the people here make him believe he can do anything. After surviving against Bron Breakker, he’s looking forward to finding out his next challenger. Cue Finn Balor to interrupt, saying he’s not waiting for the Royal Rumble or the Elimination Chamber. He heard Punk say he wanted to face Balor so now he wants a title shot.

Punk likes that idea because he’s a Balor fan. He’s a fighting champion today so he’ll get his boots on for a match tonight. Balor says no because they’ll do it next week in Belfast. Punk is fine with that, but apologizes to the fans in Belfast for what is going to happen to Balor next week.

Video on Gunther vs. AJ Styles.

Lyra Valkyria/Bayley vs. Kabuki Warriors vs. Liv Morgan/Roxanne Perez

The winners get a title shot at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Bayley rolls Morgan up to start but misses the charge into the corner. Asuka takes both of them down and it’s off to the other three. Perez gets two off a rollup but Valkyria knocks her away, with Sane taking both of them down. Everything breaks down and Sane hits the big elbow off the top to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Valkyria cleaning house but Asuka cuts her off on top. That sets up the Tower Of Doom to bring everyone down before it’s Sane getting caught in a backbreaker. A middle rope elbow gives Bayley two and Perez’s Pop Rox gets the same. Back up and Morgan hits a quick Oblivion to pin Sane at 13:20.

Rating: C+. They had a bunch of stuff going on here but it’s hard to argue with the result. Morgan and Perez are the most logical choices for the title shot and it should be a good title match. At the same time, Valkyria and Bayley are kind of floating around and that might not bode well for their futures.

Becky Lynch recaps her issues with Maxxine Dupri before they face off again next week in Belfast.

Preview of Unreal season two.

Maxxine Dupri is ready to beat Becky Lynch again. After telling Otis and Akira Tozawa that they can be as successful as she is, Dupri promises to make Lynch tap out next week.

Here is Raquel Rodriguez for a chat with Michael Cole. Rodriguez isn’t sorry for attacking Stephanie Vaquer last week and hurting her ankle. Cue Vaquer to chase Rodriguez off, but as Vaquer yells at the camera, here is Rodriguez to jump her again and go after the ankle.

Otis and Akira Tozawa want a Tag Team Title shot at the Usos. Jey says he’ll talk to Jimmy, but be careful what you ask for.

Penta/Dragon Lee vs. Vision

Penta kicks away at Theory to start but it’s quickly off to Reed to crush him in the corner. That’s broken up and it’s off to Lee for the kicks to the chest, only for Reed to run him over. Reed sends him hard to the floor and we take a break with the villains in control. We come back with Theory going after Lee, including a snap suplex for two. Lee manages to reverse a powerbomb into a quick DDT, which is enough for the tag to Penta. House is cleaned but cue Bron Breakker to spear Lee for the DQ at 9:26.

Rating: C. I wasn’t exactly feeling this one, but the ending spear was almost worth the extra time as Breakker got some serious impact. The Vision continues to be up and down, but a ticked off Breakker gunning for the World Title should be great. As for the other side…just give us the Lucha Bros already.

Post match Adam Pearce comes out to yell at Breakker, leaving Reed to wreck people. Pearce goes to yell at Reed, allowing Breakker to hit another spear. Breakker even grabs Pearce, with the Vision having to make the save. Even Paul Heyman seems to realize that was too far.

Post break Je’Von Evans checks on Rey Fenix and Dragon Lee, saying he’s there if they need him.

Adam Pearce yells at Bron Breakker, even suspending him indefinitely. Paul Heyman comes up to say that was a mistake. From Heyman’s vantage point, Pearce put his hands on Breakker first. Uh oh.

We get a video of various celebrities wanting to be involved with Wrestlemania. HHH, watching the video, says it’s going to be a long Road To Wrestlemania. And yes, he does sit at his desk in the leather jacket.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Video on Oba Femi, who has vacated the NXT Title.

Gunther laughs at the idea of AJ Styles beating him.

AJ Styles vs. Gunther

Gunther grabs a waistlock to start so Styles kicks him in the head, sending Gunther outside. A headlock takeover doesn’t work for Gunther either as Styles is up with a dropkick to the floor. There’s the slingshot forearm over the top but Gunther is back in with the big chop. We take a break and come back with Gunther chopping him down again.

Styles gets smart by grabbing a dragon screw legwhip and putting on the Calf Crusher, with the leg being in big trouble. Gunther makes the rope so Styles goes to the ropes, where a big of a slip allows Gunther to chop him down. Another twist of the leg around the rope puts Gunther down, with a springboard flipping legdrop (cool) hitting the leg for two. The Phenomenal forearm is countered into a sleeper, but Styles backflips into a rollup for two more.

The big clothesline into the powerbomb gets two and they both need a breather. Back up and they strike it out until the Calf Crusher goes on again, sending Gunther back to the rope. Styles puts it on again and rolls into the middle, with Gunther possibly tapping on Styles’ leg. That’s enough for Styles to let go, but the referee says the match continues. Gunther hits him low and the powerbomb finishes Styles at 17:47.

Rating: B. I’m not sure on that finish, but it seems like we’re setting up a rematch, possibly at the Royal Rumble. Gunther cheating to win is acceptable enough, and it should be interesting to see what is next for Styles. He only has so much time left in the ring and this very well could be one of his bigger remaining stories.

Styles is upset and Gunther smiles to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This really wasn’t the most wrestling heavy show, with the second match starting just a few minutes before the second hour. It also didn’t help that the main focus seemed to be setting up next week’s Raw, though after last week’s stacked card, that kind of hard to be the case. The Rumble has still barely been mentioned and while there is still time before the show, there isn’t that much time. Maybe get on that sooner than later?

Results
Je’Von Evans b. Bravo Americano – OG Cutter
Liv Morgan/Roxanne Perez b. Kabuki Warriors and Bayley/Lyra Valkyria – Oblivion to Sane
Penta/Dragon Lee b. Vision via DQ when Bron Breakker interfered
Gunther b. AJ Styles – Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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TripleMania XXI
Date: June 16, 2013
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico

So this is the result of a deal I made twelve years ago to get a vote in a popularity contest on a wrestling forum. Yes I remembered the show this long and yes I’m just getting around to it. As usual I have no idea what to expect around here but that can make for some fun situations. Or a total disaster. Let’s get to it.

Note that I did not follow AAA at this point and my Spanish is bad at best so I apologize for not getting a lot of this stuff right.

Commentary, in Spanish, welcomes us to the show.

The opening video looks at TripleMania over the years, with various people offering thoughts.

We get the presentation of Antonio Pena’s urn, as always.

Dinastia/El Elegido/Faby Apache/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Mamba/Mini Abismo Negro/Silver Kain/Taya

Escarlata tries to kiss the referee and we’re ready to go (with a whistle, as this company is a bit different). Mamba and Escarlata pull hair to start and have to be dragged away from each other. Kain drops Escarlata with a slap and gets kissed as a result, meaning it’s time to panic. Taya comes in and Negro hits her in the face by mistake, allowing Escarlata to clean house without much trouble.

Elegido (who seems to be a stripper) comes in, much to Mamba’s approval, and avoids a crossbody, allowing him to kick Mamba in the ribs. Kain accidentally dropkicks Taya and Elegido almost loses his trunks on a sunset flip from Mamba. After some hip swiveling, it’s off to Dinastia and Negro, with the former walking on his (own) hands and armdragging Negro to the floor.

The rest of Negro’s team gets headscissored as well but Kain is back up with a clothesline. Dinastia gets out of the Tree Of Woe and dropkicks Kain to the floor, setting up a suicide dive. That leaves Taya to come in and stun Apache (who finally does something), allowing for some triple stomping. Escarlata comes in and gets beaten down in Apache’s place, with Dinastia getting the same treatment.

Apache finally manages a pop up hurricanrana and Dinastia is back in with a kick to the back of Taya’s tights. Dinastia moonsaults onto Negro, setting off a train of dives. Even Taya moonsaults onto all of them before coming back in to powerbomb Apache. The moonsault hits raised knees though and Apache tiger suplexes her for the pin at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This is a case where I really don’t get the appeal, but the people in the audience certainly did. Escarlata has been doing this for a very long time and the fans seem to love the shtick so it’s hard to argue. Other than that, you got some nice flipping and it’s easy to see why Taya was a star for so long. She has that charisma to her and a great evil smile which worked very well.

Antonio Pena’s widow is presented to the crowd.

Heavy Metal vs. Chessman

For a Mega Title shot later tonight and Chessman jumps him before the whistle. Some chair shots have Metal in more trouble and a suplex gets two. Metal is back up with some clotheslines but Chessman heads outside and grabs a table. Another chair shot keeps Metal down and Chessman kicks at a cameraman as a bonus. Metal manages to knock him outside for a flip dive but Chessman hits a spear through the ropes to send Metal through the table.

Back in and a hanging swinging suplex gives Chessman two and it’s time for a ladder. A miniature wrestler is brought in and thrown at Metal, allowing Chessman to spear him through the ladder. The mini makes the save and gets a mini guitar smashed over his head, leaving Chessman to sitout powerbomb Metal for two. A backbreaker gets two but Chessman misses the corkscrew moonsault. Metal grabs la majistral (and not a great one) for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. In theory this was a regular match but they had all kinds of weapons and some interference thrown in, which made it quite the mess. Metal barely had any offense until the end, when he won with a fluke rollup. Maybe the story plays out better if you know how we got here, but the match itself really didn’t work.

Tag Team Titles: Los Mexican Power vs. Angelico/Jack Evans vs. Drago/Fenix vs. Los Perros del Mal vs. Los Mamitos vs. Drago/Fenix

Elimination match for the vacant titles, Mexican Power is Crazy Boy/Joe Lider (escorted by a bunch of dancers), Los Perros are Daga/Psicosis and Los Mamitos are Mr. E (Eric Escobar) and Sexy Boy, who are escorted to the ring by some women. Angelico and Evans clean house to start but Power fights out of the corner with some cutters. The Mamitos comes back in to take over but the Perros cut them off.

Fenix and Drago get to take over, only for Angelico and Evans to kick them down as the circle of control continues. Angelico and Evans pile up five people so Angelico can hit a top rope splash. A big flip dive drops Fenix and Drago, but Los Mamitos catch Angelico with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination for the elimination at 6:04.

Psicosis and Daga’s dives are cut off with chairs to the head but Power takes over on Los Mamitos back inside. Fenix and Drago get to clean house though and a double top rope double stomp pins Sexy Boy at 9:18 to get us down to three. Lider is back in with a running dropkick to Fenix and a bunch of chairs are brought in. Crazy Boy and Psicosis strike it out until Lider pulls Crazy outside. Crazy is draped over the barricade for a big dive from Psicosis, leaving everyone to get back inside to….well just beat on each other a lot.

A Spanish Fly takes Daga from the apron to the floor, leaving Crazy to reverse Death Valley Driver Psicosis for the pin at 14:08. So we’re down to Power vs. Fenix/Drago with Fenix hitting a big dive. Drago’s running Death Valley Driver into the corner gets two on Crazy and Lider’s neckbreaker gets the same on Fenix.

Back up and Fenix’s Canadian Destroyer gets two on Crazy, who sends Fenix outside. Power’s friend Nino Hamburguesa’s dive is cut off with a kick to the head, leaving Fenix’s springboard spinning dive to…well kind of connect. Hamburguesa dives onto Lider and Fenix and Drago runs Crazy over for two. Back up and Crazy grabs a full nelson and flips Drago forward into a rollup for the titles at 20:14.

Rating: C. It was long, there were a lot of people in it, and there was very little in the way of the match moving from one section to another. There is only so much you can do with so many moving parts and this wasn’t exactly worthwhile. As usual, there were some fun spots and the people are athletic, but I could have gone with a bit more structure.

Post match Vampiro comes out to present the new champions with their titles. Konnan comes out to address the fans and gets in Vampiro’s face but security separates them. Vampiro argues back and some shoving ensues until Konnan leaves.

Jeff Jarrett/Matt Morgan/Monster Pain vs. Los Psycho Circus

For the sake of simplicity, Monster Clown is “Monster” and Monster Pain is “Pain”. Monster Pain is led around by chains and looks a bit like Abyss. The Circus is Monster Clown, Murder Clown and Psycho Clown. Jeff (with Karen) seems to throw out tortillas to the fans and has to hold Karen back from arguing with someone. This seems to be about the USA vs. Mexico, because they’re psychotic clowns, but they’re PATRIOTIC psychotic clowns.

The Clowns start fast with stereo dives through the ropes, followed by a big dive off the top to the floor. We settle down to Murder and Morgan, with the former winning an exchange of shoulders. That’s enough to send Morgan outside so it’s off to Psycho vs. Jarrett. The Clowns take over on Jarrett and clothesline him to the floor so it’s Pain coming in to clear the ring with some big boots.

The villains take over on Monster and send him outside before ramming Psycho into the corner for two. Monster is sent outside, where he goes after another woman with Jarrett and company, earning a belt shot from a man whose name might be Richard Negrin. Back in and the Clowns give Morgan a triple low blow (that seems so excessive) before Murder jumps onto Pain’s elevated ribs.

Negrin comes in and gets beaten up as Karen goes after Antonio Pena’s widow. This goes as well as you would think, with Karen’s hair being messed up and a soda being poured onto her as a bonus. Karen gets brought inside where the Clowns put a witch’s hat on her and Psycho seems to give her a kiss. Another woman in the villains’ corner is brought in and given a three Clown What’s Up. Morgan and Pain come back in to wreck everything though, with a chokeslam finishing Murder at 11:46.

Rating: C+. This feels like a match where a backstory would have helped (granted, not the promotion’s fault as commentary was likely explaining it) as there were a lot of people running around doing all kinds of things here. The ending wasn’t exactly great though, as the Clowns were on a roll and then just lost out of nowhere. Jarrett was quite the heat magnet and it’s no shock he was such a big heel in Mexico.

Post match Psycho’s mask is ripped off for quite the heat.

Mega Title: Heavy Metal vs. El Texano Jr.

Texano is defending, with Pepe Casas and Silver Kain as the seconds. They go to the mat to start, with Texano grabbing an early leglock. The hold stays on as they roll outside, where Metal has to block a posting. Back in and Texano works on the leg, including wrapping it around the rope in the corner.

A bullrope shot to the leg sets up another leglock, with Metal going to the rope for the break. Metal gets kicked in the face but he comes back with a hurricanrana for two but Texano’s small package gets the same. Metal’s crossface (minus the crossface part, as he’s pulling the hair instead) sends Texano over to the rope so Metal drops a middle rope elbow for two instead.

A superplex gets the same but a top rope backsplash misses to give Texano an opening. Texano goes up this time, only to get dropkicked out to the floor. Metal is right there with a top rope flip dive, followed by a super hurricanrana back inside. A cross armbreaker doesn’t last long but another super hurricanrana is countered into a super Styles Clash to retain the title at 11:45.

Rating: C+. The ending was good and it makes sense that Texano would survive with the title as he was coming in with an advantage due to Metal wrestling twice. At the end of the day, it was a decent match, but it’s not like titles mean much around here. That’s just something that you have to get used to, as it’s such a different way to go from American wrestling.

Post match Texano goes to leave but gets cut off by Ray Mendoza Jr. (an unmasked Villano V). They get back in the ring and argue a lot, with Mendoza seemingly not thinking much of Texano. It seems we have a challenge and that’s that.

Abismo Negro is inducted into the Hall Of Fame, with his family accepting on his behalf.

Latin American Title: Blue Demon Jr. vs. El Mesias

For the vacant title. They go to the mat to start with Mesias working on the arm to little avail. Demon reverses into a leglock, which is quickly broken up and the grappling ensues again. Mesias grabs a headlock on the mat before sending him outside for the running flip dive. That means more stalling, as they aren’t exactly going at full speed thus far.

Back in and Mesias cuts him off again, followed by some slow chops in the corner. Demon comes back with a bulldog but takes too long going up, allowing Mesias to pull him back down. A running flip dive off the apron works a bit better for Demon and a suplex gets two back inside.

Mesias’ spear gets two, followed by a snap powerslam for the same. Demon DDTs him for two but Mesias catches him on top with a superplex for two more. Some raised boots cut off a diving Mesias and a lifting Pedigree gives Demon two. A super hurricanrana gives Demon another two and the weird non-turned over Sharpshooter makes Mesias give up at 18:55.

Rating: B-. This is the first match that felt like it mattered and came off like something big. It made for a good match as Demon can work well with anyone, as he certainly had the talent. Mesias was around for a long time in a variety of places, but he didn’t shine nearly as well as Demon did here.

Post match LA Park, the former champion, interrupts and…seems to acknowledge Demon as the champion. All three show respect.

Dr. Wagner Jr./Electroshock/La Parka/Octagon vs. Canek/Mascara Ano 2000/Universo 2000/Villano IV

Wagner and Canek start things off with Wagner’s headlock not getting him anywhere. Canek monkey flips him over so Electroshock starts in on the arm to no avail. Everything breaks down and it’s Wagner getting beaten down, followed by Electroshock taking a beating of his own. Parka gets double teamed as well as Dorian Roldan comes to ringside with a chair.

It’s back to Electroshock getting beaten up, with both his and Parka’s masks being untied. Octagon gets taken down and elbowed but manages to fight back, as does Electroshock. Canek and Wagner slug it out, with Wagner going for Canek’s mask. Parka gets the chair to fight back and we settle down to Ano missing a charge at Wagner. Ano gets low bridged to the floor and Wagner poses a lot, followed by a basement dropkick to Universo.

Villano comes in to knock Parka down but the 2000s comes in and chop Villano by mistake (Parks shakes their hands for the help). It’s off to Octagon vs. Ano, with Universo knocking Ano down in another error. Electroshock comes in to backsplash Canek for two, with the save allowing Canek to work on the arms.

Wagner hits a flip dive off the apron and Octagon dropkicks Ano as everything breaks down. That leaves Canek to tie up Octagon’s arms for two but Parka knocks Villano to the floor for a suicide dive. Canek’s Cactus Clothesline sends Electroshock to the floor and it’s off to Wagner vs. Universo. A chair is brought in but Universo doesn’t want it, which brings in Roldan to slap him in the face. Electroshock cutters Roldan and it’s a Wagner Driver to give Wagner the pin on Universo at 23:06.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of tagging here, but it did tell a story with the villains dividing and conquering. The ending felt like a big deal with Roldan getting beaten up, as it came off like a turn for Universo. It certainly wasn’t boring and that’s more than you can ask for a lot of the matches on this show.

We get a special tribute to Hector Garza, who passed away less than a month before this show.

El Hijo del Perro Aguayo vs. Cibernetico

Hair vs. hair match with Daga/Psicosis and Dark Cuervo here as well. Aguayo jumps him on the floor to start fast before taking him inside for the corner choking. Cibernetico is already busted open and a ram into the post makes it worse. Some chairs are loaded up, with one of them smashing Cibernetico in the head. A bunch of tables are set up, with Aguayo being sent through one of them to start the comeback.

The seconds come in to help with the beating before Aguayo is sent over the barricade. Back in and Psicosis is piledriven onto a chair, with the medics getting beaten up as well. Thankfully some of the tables are thrown outside, with Daga being chokeslammed through one of them. Cibernetico’s spear gets two and he grabs a Stunner…but the referee gets bumped. Because THAT MATTERS IN A MATCH LIKE THIS.

A Boston crab makes Aguayo tap to no one, followed by…a Boston crab that makes him tap again. Cibernetico lets the hold go for no apparent reason and Aguyao kicks him low, as another referee (who saw the kick) counts two off a small package. Cibernetico’s low blow gets two more and a chokeslam through a table gets the same. A tombstone is loaded up but the referee yells at Cibernetico, earning a tombstone himself. Aguyao gets up and sends Cibernetico through another table and then double stomps the table onto him for the pin at 17:18.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work, with the no selling and the violence and all that stuff just not clicking. It was one of those matches where they both got beaten up so much in the end that it was hard to accept one of them surviving. They were going with the insanity and it made for a rough match, especially with the match going so long. Not a good main event.

Post match Cibernetico gets his hair cut, even doing some of it himself. Aguyao celebrates and someone much younger gets their head shaved too.

Overall Rating: C. There is such a culture shock between what American fans tend to see and what they get here. While the main event dragged it down, the rest of the show was at least decent with the athleticism being rather good. I can also accept that I didn’t get a lot of the show due to the language barrier. The backstories here could have helped a good bit, though what we got was good enough. It felt like a big show and I did enjoy enough of it, so we’ll call it acceptable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling
Date: February 10, 2001
Location: Garfield Heights, Ohio

Sure why not. I have absolutely no idea what to expect from an independent show near Cleveland from this date as I certainly wasn’t watching the show (as I was taking the ACT the day of this show). This is going to be a completely blind watch and that can make for quite the random set of results. Let’s get to it.

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. It’s also going to be a TV taping, though this appears to be a fan cam shoot.

I apologize if I don’t get some of these names right as the audio isn’t exactly great.

Judge Krush vs. G-Force

G-Force takes him down with an armdrag to start and G-Force isn’t happy. A headlock takeover lets G-Force grind away a bit, followed by a running shoulder. G-Force’s DDT gets two and Krush is already needing a breather on the floor. This works a bit better as Krush gets to send him back first into the post, followed by some rather clubbing forearms back inside.

There’s a suplex into a legdrop for two but Krush misses a charge into the corner. That doesn’t seem to slow him down very much though as he’s back up with a clothesline and elbow for tow more. G-Force is back up with a dropkick to the ribs and he counters a powerbomb into an X-Factor for the pin (despite Krush raising his shoulder) at 7:03.

Rating: C. I wasn’t exactly feeling this one, as it never quite got to a level beyond mediocre. They were going for something with power vs. speed and that worked well enough, though G-Force, who at least had a good look, never really did much high flying. It’s a nice match on paper, but nothing exactly thrilling in practice.

Post match Krush jumps him again before leaving.

Blade/Rod Destiny vs. Amish Assassin/Matt Wroth

This is billed as an Australian Rules match, which is an old way of saying “tag match”. Destiny (of the evil teal) backs Assassin into the corner to start and it’s already a clean break. A headlock works a bit better for Destiny and he hiptosses the Assassin to the floor for a meeting with Wroth. It’s off to Wroth, who gets chopped by Destiny and suplexed by Blade.

A back elbow gives Blade two but Wroth is right back with one of his own. Something like a pumphandle powerbomb gives Wroth two more and it’s back to the Assassin for a double backdrop. Assassin covers but the referee won’t count, seemingly saying the shoulders aren’t down. That’s a nice touch as you don’t always see that on the top level shows. It’s back to Blade to take over on Assassin, with Wroth being knocked off the apron as well. Something like an Unprettier flipped into a faceplant finishes Assassin at 7:05.

Rating: C. I liked the finish, though the match itself felt kind of random. Maybe these people have a history together, but without commentary it came off as “here are four random guys having a match together”. No one exactly stood out here, though maybe that picks up a bit as the show keeps going.

Canadian Bad Boy vs. Tracy Smothers

The Canadian is a rather good sized guy who dances a lot and has a blonde woman with him. The bell rings and the Canadian heads outside to grab the mic, though he is booed so much that it’s almost impossible to hear a word he’s saying. It seems he doesn’t think much of the women in this town, though the fans seem to think she has an affinity for certain drugs.

Smothers gets the mic and says it’s great to be alive on a Saturday night in Garfield Heights (how familiar). He also threatens to knock the woman out if she gets in his face again. They take turns backing each other into the corner, with the bigger Canadian taking him down and posing a bit.

Back up and Smothers knocks him to the floor without much trouble but Canadian comes back in with a shoulder. More posing and strutting ensue but Smothers knocks him down and grabs an Oklahoma roll for two. A middle rope crossbody gets the same, only for the Canadian to knock him out to the floor. The woman gets up for a distraction so Smothers’ backslide doesn’t get a count from the referee (who has a Carlito level afro and leather pants).

Canadian knocks him down again and we hit the chinlock to keep things slow. Smothers gets up and hits his crescent kick but the woman offers a distraction. She does it again, but this time Smothers avoids a cheap shot and the Canadian knocks her down, setting up a Downward Spiral to give Smothers the pin at 11:53.

Rating: B-. The thing I’ve learned watching Smothers over the years is he’s someone who just “got it”. He knew what kind of style he was going to wrestle and he did just that, bringing the less experienced Canadian right along with him. The match worked well and they kept things entertaining. Nice stuff here, as you can see that Smothers is a step above everyone else on the show thus far.

North American Junior Heavyweight Title: DBA vs. 8-Pac

8-Pac is defending. They run the ropes to start with Pac taking over and sending DBA outside. That means an Asai moonsault to drop DBA and they head inside, where DBA knocks him down for a change. Pac is knocked outside, with DBA having the referee (the leather pants Carlito cosplayer again) drop down as a launchpad ala ECW.

The big dive connects so they can head back inside, where Pac shrugs it off without much trouble. A Texas Cloverleaf doesn’t work so DBA knocks him down again, setting up the Swan Dive for two. Back up and they go through some standing switches until DBA gets a German suplex, but only Pac lifts his shoulder to retain at 7:05.

Rating: C+. It was fine, but my goodness you could see the early 2000s/late 90s style bleeding through them here. Granted that’s not counting the ending, which was basically straight out of the 80s. It’s not a bad match, but like so many other things on this show thus far, there was absolutely nothing standing out whatsoever.

Post match DBA lays him out and spits on him. DBA would win the title the next day.

The video cuts ahead a bit here, which might be an intermission (which was advertised earlier).

North American TV Title: Brad Vaughn vs. Bobby Blaze

Blaze is defending and Vaughn has the same female manager from the Canadian Bad Boy match. The (appropriately) fired up Blaze backs him into the corner and is falsely accused of a hair pull. They go with some grappling, with Blaze getting the better of things off an armbar. A running shoulder drops sets up a headlock takeover, with Vaughn reversing into a headlock of his own to grind away.

Blaze fights up but the woman offers a distraction, allowing Vaughn to stomp him right back down. The abdominal stretch goes on and of course the woman is right there to cheat. With that broken up, a sunset flip gives Vaughn two and he chokes in the corner while shouting a lot. Blaze is able to catch him on top though and a superkick gets two. A superkick drops Vaughn for the same so the woman comes in, with Blaze throwing her onto Vaughn for the pin to retain at 9:04.

Rating: C. Yeah there’s a reason you don’t hear much from Blaze outside of Smoky Mountain Wrestling and his brief stint in WCW. Much like so many other things here, he was perfectly fine and that’s about all I’ve got for him. He’s a generic good guy wrestler and that’s fine enough, but Vaughn didn’t really add much more.

JT Lightning/Doug Gilbert/The Dog vs. Widowmaker/Brian O/Skull Ganz

Widowmaker and company have a female manager (albeit a different once from earlier) and it’s a brawl to start at the bell. Ligntning gets dropped by Widowmaker, with a backdrop getting two. We settle down to Widowmaker headlocking Lightning and shouldering him to the floor, where Lightning has issues with his nipple ring. Back in and Lightning gets caught in an armbar but gets over to the Dog.

Brian comes in to shoulder Dog down and it’s quickly off to Ganz to slow it back down. Dog messes with the refere’s hair and gets taken down with a belly to belly, drawing in Lightning for the save. Back up and Dog chokes away on the ropes but gets knocked outside rather quickly. They get back in with Gilbert slugging away, only to get dropped by Brian. A moonsault gives Brian two and a double backdrop puts Gilbert down.

Lightning comes back in and Dog cheap shots Widowmaker from the apron to take over again. Dog grabs the neck crank and the villains get to take turns beating on Widowmaker. Lightning mostly drops him on a side slam before grabbing something like a Liontamer from someone who has no idea how to do a Liontamer. Dog comes in and yells/barks, earning a beating from Ganz and Brian.

Unfortunately that leaves Widowmaker to get beaten up on the floor, followed by a Fujiwara armbar back inside. Gilbert comes in for an STF, which goes on long enough that Gilbert should never use an STF again. Everything breaks down, with Lightning hitting a big dive to the floor and Dog is left alone with Widowmaker in the ring. For some reason, Brian and Ganz (who are regular partners) get in an argument with Widowmaker and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination, giving Gilbert the easy pin at 16:21.

Rating: C. Other than having trouble figuring out who the good guys were supposed to be, I’m more astounded that the Dog of all people got another chance after WCW. Maybe he worked cheap or something but…him? The ending was a bit weird and I’m not sure what led to the screwy finish, but at least it felt like something happened for a change.

Extreme World Title: Hido vs. Sabu

Sabu is defending and I think this is his own title rather than something from the promotion. They go tot he mat to start with Sabu working on the leg until Hido realizes he’s three inches from the rope. Sabu works on the arm before grabbing a reverse chinlock. Back up and Hido hits a clothesline and chokes, meaning it’s time to yell at the referee for breaking it up.

A DDT gives Hido two and he slaps on a cobra clutch. With that broken up, Sabu flips him off the top and naturally throws in the first chair. Hido gets knocked throat first into said chair, which the referee throws out before counting two. They fight out into the crowd and a table is set up, with Sabu being laid on top.

Hido takes way too long going up though and gets super hurricanranaed down, naturally landing on Sabu. That’s good for a very delayed two (on Hido, which has to be specified in Sabu matches) and they go outside again. Sabu sets up a chair inside for the triple jump dive and then puts Hido on the table. There’s the slingshot legdrop and they’re both down again. Back in and the camel clutch retains Sabu’s title at 9:38.

Rating: C+. I guess we’ll call this better than a lot of the other things on the show, if nothing else because it had some different stuff. Sabu knows how to do this kind of match over and over and that was certainly the case here. Hido was a bigger deal in Japan, but it was interesting to see him out here to do something around here for a change.

North American Title: Tommy Rich vs. Ricky Morton

Rich is defending and grabs a mic before the match. He yells about…something I can’t understand but the fans don’t like him. They circle each other for a bit to start and lock up to no avail. Rich takes him down by the arm and Morton isn’t pleased, seemingly accusing him of some cheating. A running shoulder drops Morton again and there’s an armdrag to send make it worse.

Morton comes back with a slam to send Rich outside, only to have come come back in for some choking. Rich takes him to the floor and sends Morton into a table, followed by some stomping and choking back inside. A bearhug keeps Morton in trouble, though him selling is always a good idea. Rich elbows him in the back for two and the referee gets bumped. Morton’s DDT doesn’t get a count so here is…I think Doug Gilbert to give Morton a spike piledriver. The referee wakes up and calls the DQ at 7:22.

Rating: C-. Another dull match to wrap things up, as the two of the might have star power but that doesn’t make them worth watching. Morton is kind of this ageless wonder but Rich….not so much. This felt like two old guys out there getting a payday and while they were trying, there was only so much to get out of a match this boring.

Post match Sabu and Bobby Blaze run in for the save. Morton grabs the mic and doesn’t seem pleased, but does seem to issue a challenge for a six man tag. Rich yells a lot and furniture is thrown as the match is set for tomorrow night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather just that it wasn’t interesting. There was pretty much nothing on this show that stood out in any way, as it came off more like a show that could have happened for just about any promotion. While this place would wind up getting a better reputation later (Johnny Gargano was a big deal there), this wasn’t a great time and it made for a pretty dull watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 2010
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The previous week’s show is the famous one with the return of Bret Hart but someone wanted to see how the follow up went. That’s a rather interesting way to go and I’m curious to look back at what happened. In this case we have the build to the Royal Rumble, with only a few weeks left before the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence. Let’s burn it to the ground.

Here is guest host (oh yeah that’s a thing) Mike Tyson to get things going. Tyson is glad to be back and of course we flash back to the legendary moment with Steve Austin in 1998. Back in the arena, here is World Champion Sheamus to interrupt. Sheamus doesn’t like all the praise that Tyson is getting and calls him a washed up former champion. Tyson teases getting physical and Sheamus backs up.

Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, saying he isn’t interested in making a SportsCenter moment, but he does want the WWE Championship. He wants to face Sheamus at the Royal Rumble, but here is John Cena to interrupt. Sheamus asks why Cena is here and it’s…well he wants to meet Mike Tyson! Cena talks about having beaten everyone here, including Tyson…..in Punch Out! And yes we get a King Hippo reference.

Cena wants a title shot but here is Kofi Kingston to interrupt. Orton isn’t sure why he’s here, as he beat Kingston last week. Kingston points out that he has never gotten a title shot (somehow true) and he won’t take no for an answer. Sheamus says Tyson got long stretches between his title defenses so he wants the Royal Rumble off.

Tyson says unlike Sheamus, he never ducked a fight in his life. Instead Tyson makes a triple threat for the title shot later tonight, with Cena saying it’s him against Bald Bull and Von Kaiser for a shot at Soda Popinski. The fact that he didn’t refer to Orton, who is BALD, as Bald Bull, takes some points away but the Punch Out references were funny.

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly

Melina is injured so the title is vacant. Fox knees her in the chest to start and we’re already in the chinlock. Kelly gets up and knocks her out to the floor for a clothesline from the apron. The rather screamy headscissors drops Fox but she counters the hurricanrana into a powerbomb (nasty one too) for the pin to advance. This was a good example of women not getting the chance to do anything other than a few quick moves.

John Cena was the Grand Marshall of the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently he’s a great guy.

Here is Legacy for a chat before their match. Last year they were in the final four of the Royal Rumble and Cody Rhodes thinks it’s his turn to win the Royal Rumble. DiBiase talks about being a movie star with the Marine 2 being better than the original in every way. Rhodes says a video of him in fifth grade is better than the Marine so it doesn’t prove much. They both think they’re going to win the Royal Rumble. The fact that Rhodes would is kind of astounding.

Legacy vs. Mark Henry/Evan Bourne

Bourne hurricanranas DiBiase to start fast but gets sent crashing out to the floor. Rhodes gets in a cheap shot by sending him into the barricade and the chinlock goes on back inside. It’s off to Rhodes for a knee drop as commentary ignores the boring match to talk about the Rumble, with Lawler actually giving some straight insight for a change. Bourne fights up and brings in Henry (who is huge here, even by his standards). DiBiase breaks up Air Bourne and Henry gets low bridged to the floor, meaning it’s Cross Rhodes to finish Bourne.

Rating: C. This was a bad time for Henry’s career as he was just doing nothing for such a long stretch. He was given random partners like Bourne and it was clear that there was no long term plan for him. It didn’t help that he was so big, but once he slimmed down a bit and started being a monster (which took some time), it was a lot better. As for the match, it was little more than a squash, with Bourne not being able to do much against the rapidly improving Legacy.

D-Generation X is in the back, with Shawn Michaels saying he’s ok with making peace with Bret Hart last week, but Mike Tyson is a different story. That being said, he’s seen Tyson’s documentary and he thinks Tyson is a changed man. Now he’s going to prove it.

Post break, Michaels goes to see Tyson and forgives him for the WrestleMania XIV knockout. Tyson doesn’t need his forgiveness and is willing to do it again. Chris Jericho comes in and apparently he and Tyson are friends so tonight it’s Jericho/Tyson vs. DX and if Jericho wins, he can stay on Raw (or anywhere he likes). Michaels is ready for revenge. Right.

We look back at Bret Hart’s return to Raw last week, with Hart’s “Well, I guess h*** froze over” summing it up perfectly. He and Vince McMahon are still having issues though, including McMahon kicking him low.

Here is Jack Swagger, who says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Tonight, he wants an Over The Top match and it’s open challenge time.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

You throw your opponent over the top to win and Marella is ready to drop Swagger like a bicycle with no kickstand. Marella strikes away and gets driven into the corner, followed by a takedown. Swagger goes to toss him but of course gets eliminated in less than a minute.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena

For the Royal Rumble title shot against Sheamus. Cena and Kingston form a slightly awkward alliance to start, with a double suplex dropping Orton. A release fisherman’s suplex does it again and a double back elbow drops Orton as well. That leaves us with Cena vs. Kingston (who somehow never had a singles match) as Sheamus comes out to watch. Orton sneaks back in to break that up and we take a break.

We come back with Orton chinlocking Kingston (shocking I know) before switching over to Cena for the hanging DDT. Orton gives Kingston the backbreaker but gets bulldogged by Cena, which Cole says is him “rolling”. The STF has Kingston in trouble until Orton makes a quick save. Trouble In Paradise sends Cena outside, where Cody Rhodes runs out to send him into the steps. The distraction lets Ted DiBiase deck Kingston and the RKO sends Orton to the Rumble.

Rating: B-. Pretty standard match here and that’s a perfectly fine way to go. If nothing else, it was interesting to see Cena vs. Kingston, though Orton winning makes the most sense. Sheamus needs some wins to establish himself as champion and beating Orton is almost a merit badge. You certainly don’t want to do the Edge thing from 2006 again so this makes sense.

Mike Tyson is asked about his match against DX, when DX member Hornswoggle interrupts. Tyson threatens to do various violent things to Hornswoggle, including reaching into his head, pulling out his brain, putting it into a newspaper and smashing it like Silly Putty. Well that sounds uncalled for.

We look back at MVP wanting the Miz’s US Title.

Miz is standing outside of the locker room and talks about being thrown out when he ate some chicken over a wrestler’s bag. For six months he had to change and shower elsewhere while people like JBL made fun of him. Now he has his own locker room, while people like MVP have to dress with everyone else. He heads into the arena and says MVP doesn’t deserve to be in this ring, because MVP should be in jail.

Miz would rather the fans boo him for being something he is than cheer him for something he isn’t. MVP comes out here with his diamonds but even if you put diamonds on a dog, it’s still a mutt. Or it’s Diamond Dog from Con Air. Miz hits the catchphrase but here is MVP to say he has never hidden from his past, but rather he embraces it. Yes he is proud of his ability to earn the finer things in life, just like he is proud to win the respect of these fans. He is no mutt but asks Miz to stand there for a moment and suck.

The jacket comes off and MVP talks about his time in a Florida prison. Their real worlds are worlds apart so open up his cage and see how tame this tiger really is. Miz teases swinging and gets beaten down in a hurry. Pretty awesome stuff here, with Miz’s promo being great but MVP brought the fire when he got his chance.

We look at last year’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony, headlined by Steve Austin.

We look back at Mike Tyson knocking out Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIV.

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Eve Torres vs. Katie Lea Burchill

Maryse (facing the winner in the second round) is on commentary and thinks Miz is in love with her (she’s smart). Burchill grabs an early chinlock and a backbreaker but Lawler would rather talk about how nice Maryse smells. Another backbreaker gets two on Torres…and she rolls Burchill up for the pin. This was nothing.

Carlito hits on Gail Kim but they’re shut down by a ticked off Vince McMahon.

Royal Rumble rundown. All one match.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. Apparently Bret Hart isn’t here due to fear, because McMahon never gives up. Hart is never going to be seen here again because he isn’t getting closure. The end. Lawler: “Is that it?”

D-Generation X vs. Mike Tyson/Chris Jericho

DX’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Before the match, Michaels says he wants an answer from Undertaker about the Wrestlemania rematch. Tyson and Michaels start things off with Tyson hitting a shoulder, meaning it’s off to HHH. They trade some shoves, with Tyson sending him into the corner and it’s off to Jericho to stomp away.

The jumping knee gets HHH out of trouble and it’s back to Michaels for two off a sunset flip. Jericho is back with the jumping enziguri and Tyson comes back in…as we have Hornswoggle in boxing gear. That brings Jericho back in…and Tyson reveals the DX shirt that you knew was coming. Tyson knocks Jericho out and Michaels gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was harmless fun and that’s not a bad thing. Jericho getting caught when he thought he was all brilliant and ahead of DX was a great moment and it all worked well. I had fun with this one and the whole thing wound up being rather entertaining. It was barely a match, but it wasn’t supposed to be anything else.

A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The promos carried this show as there certainly wasn’t much in the way of wrestling. Honestly there wasn’t much in the way of anything and that made for a pretty mediocre show. I liked the Tyson “swerve” at the end and the Miz/MVP promo was good, but there’s a reason this isn’t the most fondly remembered time in company history. The show was ok, but that’s about it.

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There are some things needed to really make it work.

https://www.smarkdownsblog.com/why-wwe-royal-rumble-works

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This one has had an interesting build with the Royal Rumble itself only getting a quick build a the end. That being said, this is the kind of show that doesn’t really need to have anything set up for the main event to work, so it actually works for a change. We also have Batista defending the Smackdown Title against Mr. Kennedy and John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Rumble itself, including some classic winners. This year’s card gets some attention of its own.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is here with MNM (hence why it isn’t NM or MN) and this is about revenge after Matt Hardy destroyed Joey Mercury’s nose at Armageddon. An early Mercury distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot on Matt and the alternating beatdown is on in the corner. Matt isn’t having any of that and comes back to bring Jeff in. Nitro kicks him down as well but it’s an atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs to give Jeff two.

Mercury tries to come in but gets suplexed down but Nitro gets in a right hand to Matt’s jaw to take over. The cravats holds Matt in place and Mercury adds a shot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock from Mercury but he misses a middle rope elbow. That’s enough to bring Jeff back in to pick up the pace, including the Whisper in the Wind for two on Nitro. A double suplex puts Nitro down to set up the legdrop/splash combo, but the raised knees put Jeff in trouble.

The waistlock holds Jeff down and a double gutbuster makes it even worse. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors with a chinlock before switching to a front facelock. Jeff manages to fight over, but, of course, the referee doesn’t see the tag (it’s amazing how consistently inconsistent these referees can be). Back up and Jeff manages the mule kick to bring Matt in for the real house cleaning. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Nitro as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate hits Nitro and, with Matt driving Mercury outside, the Swanton gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid tag match here and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there. They didn’t do anything overly complicated or flashy here but what mattered was they did things well enough to make it work.

Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are in the back to keep an eye on the Royal Rumble drawings with Kelly Kelly there to turn the tumbler. Edge comes in to mock her a bit but here’s Randy Orton to say he tossed Edge over the top last week. They both draw and Orton says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” King Booker comes in to tell Orton to say he didn’t just say that. Eh kind of funny.

Video on Test, who lost to Bobby Lashley on ECW in a non-title match.

ECW World Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and this doesn’t make sense after watching ECW either. Test powers him into the corner to start so Lashley hits a spear, sending Test straight to the ropes for some safety. A t-bone suplex sends Test outside where he manages to post Lashley to take over. Back in and we hit the chickenwing, followed by an armbar to stay on the bad arm. Lashley tries to fight up for the comeback but the arm gives out on the gorilla press attempt. The TKO is countered though and an overhead belly to belly suplex sends Test flying. It’s enough to make Test walk out for the countout.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse power matches but we just went from Lashley beating him clean on ECW to winning via countout here. I’m not sure what is next for Lashley, but this was quite the waste of time. They really can’t have Lashley pin Test twice in a week? Test has to be even remotely protected on this stage?

Lashley beats Test up again post match.

John Cena is banged up when Vince McMahon comes in to mock him for having an abdominal injury. Cena won’t vacate the title, but Vince can’t see him….as champion after tonight.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Kennedy won a Beat The Clock Challenge to win the title shot, but he has also made Undertaker want to kill him. Kennedy has beaten a bunch of World Champions so now it’s time to become one himself.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is challenging and gets thrown down a few times to start. That’s broken up in a hurry as Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. Batista’s suplex gets two and it’s already time to head outside. Kennedy sends him back first into the steps but Batista is right back inside with some shots to the face. We go intelligent with Kennedy attacking the knee to slow Batista down. There’s a cannonball down onto the knee for two, setting up something like a reverse Figure Four.

The rope is grabbed and Kennedy’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Another kick to the leg gets two and Kennedy grabs a half crab. Batista powers out and snaps off the spinebuster, only to bang up the knee even more. The Batista Bomb is countered with another shot to the knee, causing Batista to bump the referee. Kennedy hits a DDT a delayed two so frustration sets in. That’s enough for Kennedy to go up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. Now the Batista Bomb can retain the title.

Rating: C. This felt like a house show main event and that isn’t the worst thing. Kennedy is someone who is going to steal most of the wins he gets and it would be a bit much to believe that he is going to beat Batista in a straight match. The leg thing was fine and the match wasn’t bad, but it was the definition of the Royal Rumble throwaway title shot.

Batista poses for a good bit.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn think their Royal Rumble number is in the cards. The Leprechaun comes in and growls a lot while picking. Coach hopes it isn’t a small number and gets bitten n the ear. Then the Leprechaun meets Great Khali and runs off, leaving Khali to draw three numbers. Kelly picks up the two that Khali drops and Ron Simmons comes in for the joke.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena gave him his first loss in a miracle win at New Year’s Revolution so now it’s a Last Man Standing match so Cena can’t escape with a win. Umaga crushed Cena’s ribs on Raw so Cena is very banged up coming in.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. They stare each other down to start and Cena slugs away to little avail. Instead it’s a shot to the bad ribs to put Cena down on the floor as the beating begins. Cena is sent hard into the steps and Umaga shrugs off being rammed face first into the apron. Back in and Umaga hits him with a heck of a clothesline and it’s time to bring in the steps as Cena pulls himself up.

Somehow Cena manages to pick the tosses them down onto Umaga for a nasty/scary crash. A bearhug into a belly to belly lets Umaga grab more steps, which are stood up in the corner. The running Umaga attack only hits steps though and Cena hits him in the face with the steps for a seven. Cena’s high crossbody is countered into the spinning release Rock Bottom and Umaga goes simple by sitting on his chest.

Another attempt is countered with some raised knees though and Cena plants him onto the steps for a breather. The Shuffle, with Umaga still on the steps, connects but an FU attempt collapses with both of them landing on the steps. Cena is busted open so Umaga hammers away, triggering whatever Cena calls Hulking Up. Since Umaga isn’t an 80s monster, he grabs a Samoan drop to plant Cena again. The Samoan Spike is blocked so Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe.

The running headbutt misses though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser. One heck of a TV monitor shot to the head gives Cena eight so he knocks Umaga outside. That’s fine with Umaga, who posts Cena hard. With Cena laid down on the ECW announcers’ table, Umaga gets a running start and splashes….well only the table actually. Umaga is back up at nine and runs Cena over again as Estrada unhooks the top rope. A charging turnbuckle shot gets countered into an FU and Cena grabs the STFU with the rope wrapped around Umaga’s throat to put him out and retain.

Rating: A-. This is a heck of a fight and an underrated Cena classic. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a mixture of Cena fighting with power, surviving until he had an opening and then getting smart. I liked this a lot and it’s definitely worth a look if you want to see two big, strong men fighting each other for a long time in one of the better Last Man Standing matches.

Sandman has a beer and picks one of the last two numbers. Ric Flair comes in, picks the last number, and gets hit on by Kelly Kelly. The rest of Extreme Expose comes in and dances with Flair…who leaves so the three of them can dance by themselves.

History package on the Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (Flair was in five Rumbles and entered #1 twice, #3, #5 and #30. That is downright amazing luck) and Finlay in at #2 for a match which would only happen once in a singles match. Finlay shoulders him down to start and shrugs off some shots to the face to set up a backdrop. It’s too early to toss Flair out so he strikes away until Kenny Dykstra is in at #3. That means a double teaming on Flair but the alliance lasts all of five seconds (a long time in the Rumble) and everyone brawls again.

Matt Hardy is in at #4 to go after Dykstra before switching off to Finlay. Edge is in at #5 to pick up the pace but gets taken down in a hurry. Flair goes for some chairs for the sake of revenge but gets tossed out by Edge. Dykstra is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer in at #6. Matt can’t get rid of Edge and Dreamer can’t get rid of Finlay either. Sabu is in at #7 and goes for a table instead of getting inside. He finally does get in for a springboard tornado DDT to Dreamer as Gregory Helms (and his song says so) is in at #8. Helms almost eliminates Hardy and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Hardy has to avoid being sent through the table at ringside before trying to do the same to Benjamin. Kane is in at #10 and gets rid of Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through a table. With the two of them gone, we have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. CM Punk is in at #11 and goes after Edge to little avail thanks to a save from Finlay. King Booker is in at #12 and Helms is tossed out in a hurry. Brawling ensues and it’s Super Crazy in at #13.

Kane starts cleaning house again and Booker teases throwing Finlay out, with Finlay circling back to the middle of the ring in a smart move. Jeff Hardy is in at #14 so the Hardys get together for some shots on various people. Poetry In Motion hits Kane and it’s the Sandman in at #15. The entrance takes a good while and the cane shots about….until Booker tosses him in less than fifteen seconds. Randy Orton is in at #16 and I think we have a focal point of the match.

Rated-RKO get rid of Crazy and then toss the Hardys without much trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #17 and it’s time to German suplex a bunch of people. Rob Van Dam is in at #18 as the star power is pretty high at the moment. Van Dam kicks Booker in the face and Kane tosses him out, only to have Booker come back in and toss Kane as well. Cole: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Speaking of ridiculous, Viscera is in at #19 as JBL and Cole argue about Booker coming back in to toss Kane.

Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. Benoit gets Benjamin about as close to out as you can but he hangs on by just part of one foot. Kevin Thorn is in at #21 and it’s more mindless brawling. Hardcore Holly is in at #22 as the ring is way too full. Everyone goes after Viscera and Shawn Michaels (the hometown boy) is in at #23 to knock Finlay out.

Everyone gets together to toss Viscera and Shawn dumps Benjamin as well. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit knocks Nitro out. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 as Benoit gets rid of Thorn. Van Dam goes up, looks around for someone to kick, and then gets back down. MVP is in at #26 and is promptly double teamed by Benoit and Michaels. Van Dam dropkicks Masters out and it’s Carlito in at #27, with Cole explaining the lucky history.

Some double teaming can’t get rid of Shawn and it’s Great Khali in at #28. Everyone gets ready for him and they are all knocked down, with only Holly being tossed. Miz is in at #29 (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) and is out in about three seconds. Khali gets rid of Van Dam and Punk too, followed by Carlito and Guerrero. Shawn gets up to try Khali and is double chokeslammed down. Khali is the only one standing….and it’s the Undertaker in at #30 as the fans are WAY into it again. That leaves us with Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Undertaker.

The showdown is on with Undertaker winning a slugout and clotheslining Khali out to get us down to five. Old School (one of the dumbest things you can do in the Rumble) hits MVP and he is gone too, but he hands Orton a chair to blast Undertaker. Edge teases a spear to Orton but the chair scares him off. An RKO to Shawn puts him underneath the bottom rope so it’s time to double team the busted open Undertaker. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker hits the running corner clotheslines and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot to Edge.

Orton gets caught in the chokeslam with Edge breaking it up with a spear. Another chair shot to the head cuts Undertaker down so it’s time for the Conchairto. Shawn is back up though and backdrops Orton out, followed by a superkick to Edge to get us down to two. They’re both down so Undertaker sits up and Shawn nips up for an awesome visual as you can feel this one. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved away twice. Now it’s Undertaker’s turn to unload in the corner, setting up the upside down whip into the corner.

The big boot misses and Undertaker falls to the apron. Shawn’s running charge is cut off by an elbow and Undertaker gets back in, where Shawn catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole calls them perhaps the two biggest stars in the history of WWE and I’ll ignore that one because this is pretty awesome. Undertaker lifts him out to the apron but Shawn goes up top, only to get punched in the face.

For some reason Undertaker goes up with him until Shawn knocks him back down. The top rope elbow hits Undertaker again but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Shawn slips off the shoulder though and now Sweet Chin Music can connect to put both of them down. Another Sweet Chin Music is loaded up (ala how Shawn eliminated Diesel in 1996) but Undertaker ducks him to toss Shawn and win, making him the first #30 entrant to pull it off.

Rating: B-. The ending alone is enough to make this worth seeing as it’s probably the best ending ever to a Rumble. Other than that, you had a feeling where a lot of people could win and that’s one of the keys to a good Rumble. What isn’t a key to a good one is having that many people in the ring at once, which was the case multiple times here. The problem is getting to the ending, but that is some straight magic between two people who knew how to crank up the drama. You could go back and forth on the winner, but I’m a sucker for that final pairing.

Shawn looks crushed (and the fans seem to be as well) as Undertaker poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much like the Rumble itself, the last part of the show (in this case the last two matches) are enough to make the show work, plus a rather good tag match and a watchable Kennedy vs. Batista match. The one part lacking is Lashley vs. Test, with all seven minutes of it being pretty bad. This was a rather good show, with a Cena vs. Umaga being an underrated classic.

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AND

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Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is going to be an interesting one as the Rumble itself has received very little build. It has gotten about as little attention as I can remember in recent years, but things are in a weird place at the moment anyway. Other than that, we have Mark Henry challenging Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title and John Cena trying to get the Raw World Title back from Edge. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at all three main events, which is covering all of the bases fairly well.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Kid Kash, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Paul London

Kash is defending, it’s one fall to a finish, only former champions are allowed in, and if this was mentioned on Smackdown, it was in a one off statement. They go with the parade of rollups to start until the five Smackdown wrestlers jump Raw’s Helms. Noble armbars Kash but it’s broken up by London as this is more like a battle royal with everyone pairing off. London is sent to the floor and Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser on Helms).

Noble hits a flying leg lariat on Kash with Funaki breaking it up at two. Funaki whips Noble to the ropes but Noble dives onto Nunzio instead. Kash and Funaki head outside and it’s London hitting a shooting star onto the big pile at ringside. Back in and Helms hits a super swinging neckbreaker on London, followed by Kash hitting London with the Dead Level. Nunzio and Funaki make the save so Noble chops the heck out of Funaki. A fireman’s carry gutbuster sets up a dragon sleeper but Helms makes the save. Noble is sent outside and a Shining Wizard to Funaki gives Helms the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the right call for Helms, who lost clean to Jerry Lawler on pay per view earlier this month. He needs to get away from Raw as fast as he can and this is as good of a way as he can do it. There are only so many spots for cruiserweights on either show but it’s not like Kash was anything special anyway. Good move, and a nice choice for a start.

Teddy Long and Vince McMahon are ready for the Rumble but Vince is more excited that Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria are monitoring the tumbler. Randy Orton comes in to draw his number, as does HHH. Trash talk ensues and HHH asks Candice to hold his ball. HHH is really unhappy with his number, with Randy telling him that he’s screwed.

Trish Stratus, refereeing the next match, is warming up when Mickie James comes in with something to tell her. It’s not a good time, but Mickie says she loves her. Trish leaves without saying anything.

Ashley vs. Mickie James

Trish is refereeing and Lawler longs to be her shirt. Mickie and Ashley fight to the floor before heading back inside for an exchange of wristlocks. Ashley actually gets the better of it, with Joey calling her “technically sound”. Mickie is sent outside for an apron clothesline from Ashley, followed by some technically sound right hands in the corner. Trish breaks it up so Mickie grabs a quickly broken half crab.

That’s fine with Mickie, who gets to stare at Trish and beat Ashley up on the floor. A bow and arrow goes on with commentary pointing out that Mickie is trying to impress Trish. Ashley fights up and throws her down by the hair a few times before rolling Mickie up for two. Something like a spear drives Mickie into the corner as the fans are loudly booing Ashley. More right hands in the corner have Mickie in trouble but she uses the trunks to pull Ashley down with a powerbomb for a distressed three from Trish.

Rating: D. Ashley is trying as hard as she can but she’s just not that good. It doesn’t help when you have Mickie and Trish, two of the best of their generation, out there while we have to sit through Ashley’s bad….well almost everything. They’re stretching this out until Wrestlemania and putting Ashley in the ring on pay per view for nearly eight minutes is not the best way to go about it.

Post match Mickie hugs Trish, who still doesn’t seem pleased.

Vince admires the women’s tattoos, some of which are in some suggestive places. Big Show comes in to draw his number but can’t get his hand in the tumbler. Rey Mysterio comes in and, after an Eddie chat with Big Show, draws his number. Rey: “Eddie, you got me man. You got me.”

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. After cowering during Boogeyman’s entrance, JBL hides behind Ashley and then bails to the floor. Boogeyman mounts her and spits worms onto her, which is finally enough to get us ready. JBL hammers away to knock Boogeyman outside before taking him inside for some choking with the tape. The Clothesline From JBL only hits the corner though and Boogeyman hits the pumphandle powerslam for the pin. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not, as Boogeyman isn’t exactly a main event star, but JBL isn’t as much of one as he was just a few months ago.

Worms are consumed post match.

Mama Benjamin hits on Vince and Shelton Benjamin draws. That goes well for him but here’s Melina to interrupt. Mama gets Shelton out in a hurry as MNM come in to draw. They seem rather pleased and Melina offers to have the two of them get rid of Shawn Michaels.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is more or less “anyone could win”. They haven’t focused on it that much this year and that leaves some options open.

It’s Royal Rumble time but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. After a cheer about the Rumble, we’re ready to go. Glad we got that out of the way, but it’s certainly a unique gimmick.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with HHH in at #1 and Rey Mysterio, in a low rider, in at #2. Lawler: “If you’re number one or two, you’re screwed.” This company really doesn’t have much of a memory does it? Rey goes fast to start with a running dropkick to the knee and a headscissors. The right hands in the corner set up the missed 619 and it’s Simon Dean in at #3. Dean stomps on Rey but can only send him to the apron. For some reason Dean thinks HHH will like him and that’s good for an elimination in a hurry.

Rey hits the Bronco Buster on HHH and it’s Psicosis in at #4. Psicosis goes after Rey as well and a swinging sitout faceplant drops him again. An attempt at a Razor’s Edge over the top results in a hurricanrana to get rid of Psicosis. Before anything else can happen, it’s Ric Flair in at #5 (Flair was in five Rumbles. In four of them, he was in the first five entrants.). HHH panics and the fight is on, with Flair grabbing him low but getting poked in the eyes.

A backdrop gets rid of Flair and it’s Big Show in at #6. That means another beatdown on HHH, including the standing legdrop and an elbow. Jonathan Coachman is in at #7 and Big Show gets rid of him as quickly as you would expect. Show stands on HHH’s head again and it’s Bobby Lashley (a dark horse according to Cole) in at #8. A big right hand puts Lashley down but he backdrops Show in a nice power display.

Lashley kicks Show to the floor (not eliminated) and it’s Kane in at #9 as they’re stacking the first part of this thing. Kane and Lashley slug it out with Kane hitting a big boot. Lashley snaps off a belly to belly, knocks down HHH, and hits the Dominator on Kane. It’s Sylvan in at #10, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Big Show, Lashley, Kane and Sylvan.

After Lashley dispatches him even faster than Show got rid of Coach, it’s a double chokeslam to plant Lashley. Kane and Show get rid of him after a strong showing and it’s the giant slugout. They choke each other on the ropes until HHH dumps both of them out (I’m shocked too) so here’s Carlito at #11 to fill in the ring a little more. Carlito stomps on Rey and HHH until a Roddy Piper style eye poke gets HHH out of trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #12 with Cole explaining about Benoit winning last year (hopefully jogging Lawler’s memory a bit).

The Crossface has Carlito in trouble, with HHH making the fast save. That wasn’t the brightest idea in the world but he sends Benoit to the apron where they fight over a suplex attempt. Benoit puts him down and hits the Swanton but here’s Booker T. (back in the long tights) in at #13. Benoit gets rid of Booker in about 20 seconds (Booker was probably still injured) so it’s back to chopping away at everyone else.

Joey Mercury is in at #14 and Benoit gives him a German suplex in a hurry. More chopping ensues as Tatanka of all people is in at #15 to go after HHH. The fans seem to remember him, but that might just be the Florida State Seminoles chant. Everyone pairs off and it’s Johnny Nitro in at #16 as Benoit gets HHH to the apron. Trevor Murdoch is in at #17 (Lawler: “He looks like a big bottle of milk.”) as the ring is getting full in a hurry. Rey is sent to the apron for the third time but is right back in with a basement dropkick to HHH.

Eugene is in at #18 for an airplane spin on Murdoch so Rey gives the two of them a double bulldog. Animal, with bright green shoulder pads, is in at #19. Things slow down again with the only thing between entrances being MNM failing to get rid of Rey. The returning Rob Van Dam is in at #20, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Tatanka, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, Animal and Van Dam. Rob goes after almost everyone, including a spinwheel kick to HHH. MNM goes after Rob but he shrugs that off and gets rid of Animal.

Orlando Jordan is in at #21 and doesn’t even get a reaction in his hometown. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s making it hard to do much. Van Dam manages a middle rope kick to Carlito’s face and it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #22. Rolling Thunder hits Jordan and Chavo gets to clean a little house, including Three Amigos to Nitro. For some reason Chavo goes up top and HHH shove shim out without much effort.

Matt Hardy is in at #23 as there is only room for about two people to do anything at a time. MNM dumps Tatanka and it’s Super Crazy in at #24. He comes in with a very high crossbody to MNM and it’s back to fighting on the ropes. Shawn Michaels is in at #25 and PLEASE GET RID OF SOME PEOPLE. Murdoch is Shawn’s first victim and it’s Chris Masters in at #26 because the ring MUST stay overly full. Mercury and Hardy both save themselves and HHH has to do it as well.

Viscera is in at #27 (lucky us) for a Samoan drop on Hardy. There’s the Visagra and Hardy is out for daring to try a Twist of Fate on the monster. Shelton Benjamin is in at #28 as Benoit gets rid of Eugene. There’s a Dragon Whip to HHH as Goldust is in at #29. Crazy seems to have been put out off camera and Randy Orton is in at #30.

Side note: Cole says Orton is coming off a phenomenal 2005. What exactly did he do? Lose the title match against HHH at the Rumble, lose against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and in the Cell, and need his dad to help him beat Undertaker. Oh and be the sole survivor at Survivor Series (thanks to a distraction), which he had done twice before. That’s phenomenal?

Anyway, the final grouping is HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Van Dam, Jordan, Michaels, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or nearly half of the field. Orton gets rid of Benoit in a hurry to make up for Smackdown and Carlito/Masters dump Viscera. Carlito immediately turns on Masters to eliminate him as they’re picking up the pace in a hurry.

Goldust hits Shattered Dreams on Carlito, and is quickly eliminated by Van Dam. Orton gets rid of Jordan (after a ridiculous sixteen minutes), leaving Shawn and HHH to do their big showdown. MNM breaks that up but Michaels breaks that up and sends Nitro into Mercury to get rid of Joey. Michaels clotheslines Nitro out and skins the cat back in but Shelton jumps him. Shawn superkicks Shelton out without much effort but here’s Vince McMahon to order Michaels out.

Cue Shane McMahon from behind to dump Shawn, who charges back in, chases Shane off, superkicks HHH for old times’ sake, and follows the McMahons to the back. Van Dam gets rid of Carlito and we’re down to Van Dam, HHH, Orton and Mysterio. The tag match breaks out with Van Dam and Mysterio getting the better of it. For some reason Rob goes up and gets crotched by HHH, who sends Rey into Van Dam for the elimination.

Rey has to knock HHH and Orton down at the same time, setting up a double 619. Orton clotheslines Rey down though and powerslams HHH for a bonus. HHH is back up with a spinebuster to Orton but Rey gets rid of HHH to bring the fans WAY back into it. Just because he’s evil, HHH pulls Mysterio to the floor and sends him into the steps. The EDDIE chants start up and Rey manages to slip off Orton’s shoulder and a hurricanrana gives Rey the win.

Rating: B-. It’s good enough, but the Eddie praise got a little rough to take as the match went on. The far bigger problem though was having so many people in the ring at once for long stretches, leaving the people to have to find what openings they could in their limited room. That’s not a good setup for the Rumble and when it’s for the sake of having people like Tatanka and Jordan in there for long stretches, they seem to be missing the point.

Mickie interrupts a Trish interview and says she understands what Trish had to do out there. It’s because Trish loves her too! Trish follows her off to straighten things out.

Rey celebrates in the back when Edge comes in to say Rey better not try Benoit’s loophole by jumping over to Raw.

We recap Edge vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber and went on to be a very different kind of champion. It was rather cool at times, but he doesn’t have much chance in this one.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is challenging and comes to the ring walking across a confetti shooting scaffold that was lowered from the ceiling. Joey says Cena is fresh here, rather than coming off a 45 minute Elimination Chamber. Why can no one in wrestling tell time? The match wasn’t even 30 minutes long. Cena clotheslines him to the floor to start but Edge manages a trip into the middle buckle.

Back up and Cena grabs a side slam for two so Edge bails outside. That means it’s already time for a Lita distraction and Edge spears Cena into the steps. Cena is sent over the barricade for a nine count and Edge mocks You Can’t See Me. Some kicks to Cena’s face get two and Edge suplexes him down to work on the ribs some more. Cena is sent outside this time and Edge follows to keep hammering away. Back in and Edge gets two off a missile dropkick, setting up a jumping clothesline.

Edge snaps off some jabs to the jaw but has to rake the eyes to get out of a quick FU attempt. Another boot to the face lets Edge go up for a high crossbody, with Cena rolling through for a quick two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena down again but he powers to his feet. Cena grabs a DDT and they’re both down. The comeback is on and the Shuffle connects for no cover thanks to Lita. That doesn’t really matter though as Cena hits the FU into the STFU to get the title back.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough but the ending wasn’t quite in doubt. As cool as it was to see Edge win the title, I don’t think anyone was buying him as being the champion coming into Wrestlemania. Cena is still the biggest star in the world, despite the mixed reactions getting stronger. I’m thinking Edge will be fine though, as the ratings for his shows as champion are hard to ignore.

Post match, Edge doesn’t want to talk and storms off. Jim Duggan comes up for the obvious Lita joke. I love that Duggan got into gear for the sake of the cameo. It’s such a wrestler thing to do.

Kurt Angle is ready to beat Mark Henry. He’s coming in as champion and leaving as champion. Oh and Mark Henry: YOU SUCK!

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry is challenging and has Daivari in his corner. Angle goes for the leg to start and is shrugged off with ease. With the direct approach not working, it’s off to some speed to make Henry miss. Henry gets hold of Angle’s hand though and starts cranking, before dropping Angle ribs first across the top rope. After a trip to the floor with Henry wrecking the steps for no reason, they head back inside with Henry dropping onto his chest for two. The bearhug goes on but Angle slips out and goes for the ankle lock. Henry powers out so Angle hits the German suplex.

The Angle Slam connects for two and the straps go down, setting up another ankle lock. Henry powers out again and the referee gets bumped. Angle goes for a chair, which he uses on Daivari for trying to cut him off. Henry takes the chair from Angle, so it’s a low blow to slow Henry down. Two chair shots to the head give Angle two so he unhooks a turnbuckle pad. Henry goes face first and it’s a rollup with a grab of the rope to retain.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work. Rey Mysterio got a better match out of Henry on Smackdown and Angle had to cheat over and over to survive here. They might have been able to do something with some more time, but at about nine and a half minutes, there wasn’t much that they could pull off as Angle had to spend the last few minutes cheating to keep the title. I get protecting Henry, but dang this was a rough sit.

Post match Angle celebrates but the gong sounds. Flanked by druids, Undertaker comes to the ring in a horse drawn chariot before motioning that he wants the title. Some lighting goes off at the posts and the ring collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing on here worth seeing, as the Rumble is middle of the road at best, the World Title matches were never in doubt, and nothing was especially good. It’s a weird time in WWE as they’re trying to gear up for Wrestlemania but other than exploiting Eddie’s death, there isn’t much that can be done to fire up interest at the moment. Wrestlemania doesn’t look promising, but it does feel like it’s a long way off, which isn’t a good sign either. The show isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t anything you need to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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