Fusion #124
Date: March 10, 2021
Location: Gilt Nightclub, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jared St. Laurent, Rich Bocchini

It’s time for another title match as Alex Hammerstone is defending the National Openweight Title against LA Park. This would be yet another side trip on the way to Hammerstone vs. Jacob Fatu but why let anything else stop them on their eternal detour tour? I’m still not sure about how long I’ll stick with the company but I might as well get through Never Say Never. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Jacob Fatu retaining the World Title against Jordan Oliver but having to deal with Calvin Tankman.

Opening sequence.

Calvin Tankman took everything Jacob Fatu threw at him last week and he’s ready to do it again against Fatu for the title. Injustice comes in to offer him a spot on the team and Tankman doesn’t say no.

Gringo Loco vs. Gino Medina

Rematch from a few weeks when Gino won but Loco attacked him after the match. They roll around to start with Loco flipping over him for a standoff. A superkick puts Gino on the floor and the step up flip dive drops him again. Back in and Gino gets the knees up to block a splash and it’s off to the bodyscissors. That doesn’t last long so Gino goes with a slingshot hilo for two instead.

Gino drops him again and the chinlock goes on for a bit. Loco punches his way to freedom off the top and gets two off a springboard splash. Gino isn’t having that and kicks Loco in the face for two more, only to get caught on top. The super Spanish Fly gives Loco two, which doesn’t get quite the reaction you would expect. A running knee in the corner sets up a kick to the back of Loco’s head for the pin at 9:16.

Rating: C. Every single time I watch Gino, I can’t figure out what is missing from him. He has the in-ring abilities and the way of carrying himself but he just does not have the X factor and it is really hurting him. The match was fine, but Medina is missing that thing to get him to the next level. That has been the case for a long time now and I’m not sure I can see it getting better for a little while.

Post match Medina says that’s what happens when you mess with him.

Tom Lawlor can’t stand the Von Erichs or ACH.

Azteca Underground is still a thing.

Clip of LA Park vs. Jerry Lynn from the original MLW run.

Here are the top 5 middleweights:

5. Brian Pillman Jr.

4. Bu Ku Dao

3. Myron Reed

2. Daivari

1. Laredo Kid

Pillman still works here? Are they sure about that?

Alicia Atout tells us about an open contract for a Middleweight Title shot next week. That could be interesting.

Kevin Ku vs. ACH

As we’re told that there is a mystery masked man backstage, ACH starts in on a wristlock. Ku takes him down into a headscissors as Dominic Garrini tells Ku to go after the bad ribs (makes sense). Thankfully Ku is smart enough to go after said ribs with some hard knees and there is a gutwrench suplex to take ACH down again. A backbreaker sets up something like a seated abdominal stretch, followed by a few kicks to the head to give Ku two. There’s the waistlock to stay on the ribs but ACH fights up and kicks the leg out for a breather.

A kick to the back of the head gives ACH two with the ribs taking some damage on the cover. It works so well that ACH does it again for the same and Ku is bleeding from the mouth. Something like a torture rack into an Angle Slam drops ACH for two, followed by a backbreaker for the same. Garrini pulls ACH off the apron for some cheap shots but here are the Von Erichs to cut him off. Since he’s a little nuts, ACH goes up top and dives onto Ku and Garrini. Back in and a brainbuster finishes Ku at 10:39.

Rating: C+. This had a story with the ribs and the interference, but the people involved are not exactly thrilling. ACH is fine enough and Ku can do the submission stuff just fine, but I need a little more than that to be pulled into things. I was waiting around for this one to be over, and that is rarely a good feeling. Unfortunately that is the case with a lot in MLW and that needs to be fixed in a hurry.

We look at LA Park vs. Jacob Fatu from a good while ago.

Video on Mil Muertes.

Alex Hammerstone and Richard Holliday aren’t worried about Mil Muertes because Hammerstone takes care of every beast and monster. Salina de la Renta comes in to ask if Contra is in her head. Holliday: “You haven’t been the same since you were born.” Salina is rightly confused by that line but promises LA Park is winning the title.

Injustice wants the Tag Team Titles, though they respect Los Parks.

Someone has signed the open contract for the Middleweight Title shot but we’re not sure who.

We look at Los Parks winning the Tag Team Titles.

Video on Calvin Tankman.

Contra thinks Tankman has screwed up and promises pain.

We go to the Never Say Never Control Center with Tankman vs. Fatu for the World Title confirmed.

National Openweight Title: LA Park vs. Alex Hammerstone

Hammerstone is defending and Salina de la Renta (who changed clothes really fast) is here with Park, along with a man in a suit who seems to stand watch. They shove each other around to start and here are Los Parks to pull Hammerstone outside for a beating. Back in and Park sends him into the corner and takes the belt off for a whipping.

Hammerstone catches him on the top in a superplex though and they’re both down. Back up and Hammerstone sends him outside but this time the referee actually pays attention so the beatdown isn’t on. Hammerstone gets in a shot to the face and a missile dropkick plants Park again.

A pumphandle suplex gives Hammerstone two as we hear about Gino Medina and Richard Holliday getting in a fight backstage and being ejected, which sounds plot pointish. Park misses a charge into the post but the threat of the Nightmare Pendulum brings the rest of Los Parks up to the apron. The distraction lets Park get in a DDT and running knee for two but Park breaks up the spear with a kick to the face. A hard forearm to the back of Park’s head retains the title at 9:57.

Rating: C. Not bad here, but it felt like another pit stop on the never ending road. Park is someone who could be a threat to Hammerstone, but with so many other people coming after him, it was kind of hard to imagine a title change here. Hammerstone’s reign has become nearly epic and it is hard to imagine it ending on a pretty regular episode of Fusion.

Post match here’s Mil Muertes (the previously mentioned masked man, who no one apparently recognized) to take out Hammerstone. A belt shot and a bunch of right hands to the head leave Hammerstone laying and Muertes hands Salina the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was a good illustration of a lot of MLW’s problems. They had a main event built up and while it went ok, there was no drama and there was no reason to believe something was going to change. The bigger problem is that this is the case up and down the card. It seems that we are always waiting for the big moment around here and that is not going to work for very long.

MLW has tried to make it work for the better part of a year now and it is dragging everything down. The show is completely acceptable but it isn’t exactly interesting, no matter how many Lucha Underground teases they make. I’ll be around for Never Say Never because something might actually happen here, but I don’t have my hopes up.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 15, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Fastlane, which is such an important show that it doesn’t actually have any raw matches announced yet. Odds are that is fixed tonight, but it doesn’t hide the fact that even WWE doesn’t care about the thing. This should be an eventful one so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

They don’t waste time by announcing Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania.

Here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for a chat to get things going. MVP says we are now in the Almighty Era and Lashley promises to destroy McIntyre at Wrestlemania. Lashley: “Right now are in the….Almighty Era.” And that’s why MVP handles most of the talking. Cue Miz and John Morrison with Miz praising Lashley’s speech and saying they are all in on the Almighty Era. They think Miz should be in the title match at Wrestlemania because Miz defended the title twice in one night and had cramps both times!

Cue Drew McIntyre to say he knows what it is like to be on a sixteen year journey. McIntyre was knocked down off the ladder and claw back up and then they have both reached the finish line. MVP tries to interrupt but gets shut down and is asked why he is here. Miz interrupts and gets glared down, with McIntyre saying he owes Miz one.

They are facing each other tonight and Miz needs to run because McIntyre is going to Fastlane to beat up Sheamus and then take the title back from Lashley at Raymond James Stadium. The fight is nearly on but a Miz distraction lets Lashley jump him from behind. MVP and Lashley leave so Miz hammers away. Cue Sheamus to jump Lashley until referees break it up. MVP holds Lashley back.

Post break Sheamus says he is going to beat McIntyre on Sunday but then he wanted to show Lashley what is waiting on him after Wrestlemania.

Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

Miz hammers away in the corner but McIntyre is right back with the chops to take over. The toss suplex sends Miz flying and the Glasgow Kiss makes it even worse. John Morrison throws his sunglasses at McIntyre, which just gets on his nerves. There’s the reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner so Morrison tries another distraction earning himself an ejection.

We take a break and come back with McIntyre sending Miz flying with an overhead belly to belly suplex. McIntyre takes him to the floor for a ram into the apron and several into the steps. Back in and the Futureshock drops Miz on his head, followed by the Claymore for no cover. Instead McIntyre picks him up, points to the Wrestlemania sign, and finishes with the Hurt Lock at 11:20.

Rating: C-. There is nothing wrong with a statement win like this, as the point was to show how ready McIntyre is for Wrestlemania. Miz is someone who is going to be fine with loss after loss so it’s not like this is going to take away any of his momentum. The match was mostly a squash anyway and that’s all it needed to be.

Bad Bunny won a Grammy.

We look at Shane McMahon calling Braun Strowman stupid.

Here is Strowman in the ring but Shane cuts him off in a hurry. Strowman knows that Shane isn’t going to apologize because that’s not what McMahons do. Instead, Strowman issues the challenge for tonight but Shane says no because Strowman can’t handle him. Shane talks about how this proves Strowman is stupid, like the t-rex, which went extinct as well. Then he accepts the match.

R-Truth, dressed like Steve Austin, interrupts Dana Brooke, Mandy Rose, Lana and Naomi, who tell him that 3:16 Day is tomorrow. They can’t drink though because they have a match next.

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Lana/Naomi

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler are on commentary. Naomi knocks Dana down to start and it’s quickly off to Mandy to hammer away in the corner. Dana comes in with a handspring elbow in the corner and Mandy adds a running knee to the face. That’s broken up and it’s off to Lana to clean house. Everything breaks down and here’s the returning Asuka (facing Baszler later) for the big distraction. Shayna goes after her and gets kicked in the head, leaving Lana to hit an X Factor on Mandy.  Brooke comes back in with a swinging neckbreaker to pin Lana at 4:28.

Rating: D+. This just does not work for these teams no matter how many times they try it. Lana continues to not feel like she has the best instincts in the ring, though she has been getting a bit better. These four are all trying, but Naomi should be near the top of the card, not toiling in the lower levels of the tag division.

New Day is ready to get the Tag Team Titles back when Riddle comes in. He wants them to win like he is going to do against Mustafa Ali tonight and then they can get matching scooters. Or have matching pancakes!

Tag Team Titles: Hurt Business vs. New Day

New Day is challenging. Woods takes Alexander down by the arm to start and it’s quickly off to Kofi, who pulls Alexander to him with an invisible rope (ala Ryo Mizunami in AEW). A jumping knee puts Woods on the floor though and Shelton sends him hard into the steps. Back in and Kofi hits the middle rope standing double stomp, which is enough to bring Woods back in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and they head outside with Woods being whipped HARD into the steps as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a clothesline but getting kneed in the ribs. The Michinoku Driver gives Alexander two but Woods gets in a shot, allowing the hot tag to Kofi. The SOS gives Kofi two as everything breaks down. Woods hits a DDT on Alexander on the floor and Trouble in Paradise hits Shelton. Woods hits the top rope elbow into Daybreak for the pin and the titles at 13:04.

Rating: C+. Well that came out of nowhere. New Day has held the titles so many times now that it doesn’t mean anything anymore but that has never stopped WWE. The worst part here is that commentary acted like it was a bigger deal that the team has momentum heading into Wrestlemania rather than being champions. That’s not how things should be working and it explains a lot of WWE’s problems these days.

Post match here are AJ Styles and Omos to interrupt. AJ mocks New Day for having another win but says he is running out of things to accomplish. He has never been a Tag Team Champion though, so he and Omos should be the next champions. The challenge is on for Wrestlemania, but Kofi wants to know if they are even registered as a team. Woods accepts the challenge and everything is set.

Damien Priest and Bad Bunny mock Miz and John Morrison for losing everything but Miz asks what Priest has won. Priest gets in his face, sending Miz and Morrison running off. R-Truth comes in trying to hit Bad Bunny in the head with a Steve Austin lunchbox. Priest calls him out and Truth gives Bunny a bunch of Austin merchandise instead. Bunny is so touched that he gives Truth the 24/7 Title back, meaning Truth can remember Bunny’s name. The menagerie of numskulls gives chase and we’re back at it.

Jaxson Ryker vs. Damien Priest

Broken Arrow and Lights Out finish Ryker in 37 seconds.

Post match Elias tries to bring in the guitar but Bunny takes it away. Elias picks him up for a slam but Bunny slips out and hits Elias in the face, setting up Hit The Lights from Priest. Cue John Morrison for a distraction though and Miz runs in with a guitar shot to Bad Bunny. There’s the Wrestlemania angle.

Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman

Hold on as Shane needs to warm up. After some pushups, Shane goes over to the hopscotch game he has set up, because Strowman talked about how this was like being back in school. Strowman isn’t having that and grabs Shane, who he sends into the barricade. The Strowman Express is loaded up but Shane is waiting on him with a camera to the face instead. Another camera shots sets up the elbow through the announcers’ table. Shane isn’t done as he pulls out….a bucket of green slime to cover Strowman. With that done, Shane pulls out…..another bucket of green slime to cover Strowman again! No match.

Rhea Ripley is still coming.

We look at Alexa Bliss tormenting Randy Orton.

Bliss, on her swing set, says that if Orton wants to get rid of her, he can do it at Fastlane. But is he going to do it?

We look at Molly Holly being inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Asuka vs. Shayna Baszler

Non-title. During the entrances, Baszler says she is glad she hurt Asuka a few weeks ago. Asuka attacks them both before the bell and sends Jax outside with a Codebreaker. The bell rings and Asuka kicks away but gets kneed in the face. They brawl on the mat until Asuka gets up to dropkick Jax. Shayna grabs the Kirifuda Clutch but Asuka flips back for the pin at 1:31.

Post match Shayna doesn’t let go but Asuka escapes anyway. The beatdown continues with Asuka firing off Kawada Kicks and pulling off a turnbuckle pad. Baszler’s face is crushed against the buckle and Asuka loads up a curb stomp. The referee breaks it up to prevent a high dentist bill.

Mustafa Ali is yelling at Retribution when Riddle speeds through on his scooter. The sound effects he was making push this to funny.

Fastlane rundown with Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon added.

US Title: Mustafa Ali vs. Riddle

Ali is challenging and has Retribution with him. Riddle knocks him outside to start but gets sent into the announcers’ table. A swinging neckbreaker off the apron drops Riddle and we take a break. Back with Ali hitting another neckbreaker for two but Riddle strikes away. A suplex sets up the Broton for two and he kicks Ali in the head. There’s a rollup so T-Bar gets up, only to have Ali reverse into one of his own. T-Bar drops down but the delay lets Riddle kick out and hit the Bro Derek to retain at 8:31.

Rating: C. This was much more about Ali having problems with Retribution, if nothing else because he keeps promising that he can win the big one and failing just like them. It is a shame that Retribution has never taken off because the talent is there, but never let it be said that WWE doesn’t know how to screw things up. The team is likely on borrowed time and at this point, that’s probably the best idea.

Randy Orton is ready to kick Alexa Bliss out of his life.

Here’s Drew McIntyre to say he has been watching the show and doesn’t like MVP’s guarantees. That’s why he is out here tonight, because he wants to see this match up close and get ready for Wrestlemania.

Sheamus vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Sheamus sends him into the corner to start in a hurry. Some forearms to the back have Lashley in trouble but he powers Sheamus to the mat. A clothesline drops Sheamus again and the delayed vertical suplex does it one more time. Sheamus is back up and sends Lashley to the apron for the forearms to the chest.

Lashley is fine enough to catch him with the overhead belly to belly though and we take a break. Back with Lashley working on the armbar and sending Sheamus into the corner again. The running charge hits the post though and Sheamus gets up top for the clothesline. Some elbows to the shoulder and an armbar keep Lashley in trouble and Sheamus sends him outside.

Back in and the Irish Curse gets two and Sheamus grabs a kind of complicated leglock. Lashley fights up again and hits a Downward Spiral, followed by a superplex for the big crash. The spear is blocked by a jumping knee to the face and Sheamus grabs White Noise for two. Lashley doesn’t seem to mind and pops up with the spear for the pin at 17:41.

Rating: B. I know he isn’t the most popular guy but Sheamus can do a good power match. That was on full display here and Lashley is more than capable of hanging right in there with him. This was a heck of a fight that took a little time to get going. Once they started trading bombs though, it was good good stuff and that’s what you would have expected from these two.

Post match Lashley grabs the Hurt Lock on Sheamus but McIntyre breaks it up with the Claymore. Sheamus and McIntyre stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really weird show as it did a very good job of setting up Wrestlemania but did very little to set up Fastlane, which is in less than six days. The good thing is that they added more matches to both pay per views, but Fastlane is going to be lucky to run longer than two and a half hours. The wrestling was more good than bad and there was nothing terrible (your taste may vary on Shane vs. Strowman) so this was one of the better Raw’s in a while (and it still wasn’t great).

Results

Drew McIntyre b. The Miz – Hurt Lock

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Lana/Naomi – Swinging neckbreaker to Lana

New Day b. Hurt Business – Daybreak to Benjamin

Damien Priest b. Jaxson Ryker – Hit The Lights

Asuka b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Riddle b. Mustafa Ali – Bro Derek

Bobby Lashley b. Sheamus – Spear

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Evolve #1
Date: January 16, 2010
Location: Rahway Events Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Attendance: 500
Commentators: Leonard F. Chikarason, Lenny Leonard

So a good chunk of the Evolve library has been put up on the Network and since the whole thing is being blown up for the sake of Peacock sooner than later, I figured I would take a look at one of their shows. This is the promotion’s debut event so there is not likely to be much in the way of storylines. Let’s get to it.

Kyle O’Reilly is warming up when Davey Richards gets annoyed at the cameras. They’re here to film everything for a documentary but Davey and manager Tony Kozina throw them out anyway. Davey Richards being really serious? Stunning indeed.

Akira Tozawa and Kota Ibushi have a chat that I can’t understand.

Opening sequence, mainly featuring clips from Full Impact Pro.

Various people talk about why they wrestle, with one of them saying he would be dead if he didn’t.

Kyle O’Reilly vs. Bobby Fish

O’Reilly has Tony Kozina with him. They trade kicks to the legs to start and then fight over the wrist, which the fans appreciate. Back up and Fish nails a dropkick and avoids a charge to send O’Reilly shoulder first into the rope. The big dive takes him down and it’s back inside for a t-bone suplex to send O’Reilly flying again. A top rope headbutt gives Fish two but O’Reilly knees his way to freedom. O’Reilly is back with the rolling butterfly suplexes for two of his own and it’s time to trade the hard kicks.

Fish kicks him down into a cross armbreaker, sending O’Reilly straight into the ropes. More big kicks rock O’Reilly but he counters one into a reverse fisherman’s suplex for two of his own. Fish hits a superkick but walks into a discus lariat for the double knockdown. O’Reilly is back up with a tornado DDT for no cover so Fish grabs a Falcon Arrow for his own two. Back up and O’Reilly hits another tornado DDT into a brainbuster for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C+. This was a good way to start things off as it was all action and the kind of match that an audience like this would appreciate. If nothing else, it was bizarre to see these two looking so young but that’s the point of an opener like this. It was a hard hitting indy style match and that’s what it should have been in this spot.

Chuck Taylor vs. Cheech

No transition between the match and no entrances, which makes the show move a lot faster. Cheech was a regular on the independent scene around this time and Taylor would get more famous later on. This is an official qualifying match for the Evolve singles division. They start fast with Cheech hitting a shoulder but Taylor sidesteps a dropkick.

Cheech takes him down without much trouble and grabs something like a Sharpshooter where he sits down on the leg rather than pulling it back. That lets him get in some posing until Taylor makes the rope and comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A headscissors has Cheech in trouble and an overhead belly to belly sends him flying. Cheech is right back up with a moonsault press for two but Taylor hits a dropkick for the same.

The Awful Waffle is broken up and Cheech grabs some rollups for two each. Cheech superkicks him into the corner and hits a running kick to the face, followed by a 619 from the floor. Back in and Chuck hits his own kicks to the face, only to get caught with a spear. A running elbow in the corner drops Cheech for two and the Awful Waffle finishes Cheech at 6:29.

Rating: C-. It was energetic but this was every stereotype of an indy match you can find. They were doing everything they could all match with no selling and one spot after another. I know that’s the style that they want to have around here but it would be nice to see someone stop for a few seconds just to let something sink in for a change.

Post match Chuck is asked about his win and doesn’t like the idea of having to win a qualifying match. Vengeance is coming.

Ricochet vs. Arik Cannon

Cannon is an indy mainstay and RICOCHET HAS HAIR! LIKE SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR!!! Ricochet flips out of a wristlock to start so the bigger Cannon runs him over with a shoulder. A headscissors sends Cannon to the floor and Ricochet hits the cartwheel flip dive. Back in and Cannon nails a suplex into the corner but Ricochet takes him down for two off a quick rollup.

They trade strikes in the corner until Cannon drops him with a right hand into a brainbuster for two. Ricochet can’t hit a tornado DDT as Cannon reverses into a swinging brainbuster for another near fall. Back up and Ricochet kicks him in the face, setting up a 630 for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: C. Ricochet got to showcase himself a bit here but Cannon was dominating most of the match. That being said, Ricochet wasn’t exactly intimidating with the hair and not exactly filled out physique. Then again he was in his early 20s here and had a long way to go. Not a bad match, but they were flying through it so fast that it could only go so far.

Post match here’s Chuck Taylor to say that he’s from the south where they don’t believe in evolution. He’s into creationism so he’s here to create. The challenge is on, with Ricochet saying let’s do it now but Taylor walking off.

Silas Young is with Jimmy Jacobs and talks about what they want to do around here. Another wrestler (who might have been a very young Adam Cole) comes in to tell Jimmy that his match is coming up, which Jimmy does not seem to appreciate.

Brad Allen writes MOM on one set of wrist tape and MAC on the other, both with some crosses surrounding the names.

Dark City Fight Club vs. Aeroform

The Club is Jon Davis/Cory Chavis and were around the indies for years without ever making it to the big time. Aeroform is Louis Lyndon/Flip Kendrick, another team who would hang around for years. The smaller Aeroform starts fast and hits a double dropkick for two on Chavis. Back up and Chavis blasts Kendrick for two, setting up a modified Hart Attack (side kick instead of a clothesline, which Harlem Heat called the Big Apple Blast). Lyndon gets double teamed down as tags just seem to be a suggestion here.

Davis misses a charge in the corner and Lyndon gets over for the hot tag to Kendrick to clean house. Everything breaks down (Was it ever together in the first place?) and Lyndon has to avoid a brainbuster onto the apron. A springboard DDT Plants Davis and a 540 Spiral Tap gets two with Chavis making the save. Back up and Davis Pounces Kendrick, leaving Lyndon to take Project Mayhem (double hiptoss into a sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker combination) for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it was just a mess with a bunch of flips vs. a bunch of power stuff. That isn’t quite thrilling stuff but it’s a basic formula that can work in most cases. I know tag team wrestling has basically devolved into two on two matches with tags just kind of being a detail but a little lip service to the idea that they still matter would be nice every now and then.

Mercedes Martinez vs. Niya

Mercedes is introduces as the WSU (Women Superstars Uncensored) World Champion but this seems to be non-title. Niya didn’t seem to wrestle very long and Martinez chops her into the corner to start. Some rolling suplexes set up a fisherman’s buster to finish Niya at 1:11. Yep Martinez is still awesome.

Post match, Martinez says she is here to fight men and women because she is here to evolve.

Brad Allen vs. Silas Young

Allen starts fast with a dropkick to knock Young into the ropes, setting up the big dive to the floor. Back in and Allen misses a high crossbody out of the corner and it’s time to chop it out. Allen gets the better of it and hits a springboard flip dive for two, followed by a gator roll to send Young outside. That means a DDT on the floor to drop Allen for a change, followed by a knee drop for two back inside.

A rolling elbow into a basement clothesline gives Young two more and frustration is setting in early. Allen uses the delay to grab a neckbreaker, followed by a slingshot Swanton for two more. Young gets flipped backwards onto the apron and then the floor, setting up a big moonsault from the top. That sounds good in theory, but Young dropkicking him out of the air made it a bit worse.

That’s good for a nineteen count and then two more for Young back inside. Young is even more frustrated and starts kicking Allen in the head. A hard clothesline gets two but Young misses a springboard moonsault, allowing Allen to hit a springboard spinning high crossbody for two of his own. Allen catches him in the corner and hits a swinging Downward Spiral for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this a bit better as they had some more time and even sold a thing or two. This was a good deal slower than the previous matches and that’s a smart change after everything else has been so fast paced. It’s no classic or anything but Allen made a bit of an impression and you could see the potential in Young, even if he had to change a lot to become a star. Now why did Allen not have the writing on his wrist tape?

Post match, Allen says he has been fighting for this chance for his entire career and thanks Evolve for the chance. And his mom too. Allen goes to leave but comes back to say he wants Chris Hero at the next show.

Jimmy Jacobs vs. Ken Doane

That would be Kenny from the Spirit Squad. The much bigger Doane shoves him down with ease to start and unloads in the corner but Jacobs is right back up with some stomping of his own. A small package gives Jacobs two but his guillotine choke is broken up in a hurry. Doane ties him up in the ring skirt and hammers away for two back inside. Jacobs’ shoulder being up earns him another beating and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Doane trips him down again with a slingshot elbow getting two.

The chinlock goes on again and the fans think this is awesome. As I try to figure out if that is sarcasm, Jacobs breaks out and hits a quick clothesline. Doane’s slam and running forearm can’t keep Jacobs down so he whips Doane hard into the corner. Some stomps to the ribs get two but Doane is back up with a heck of a spinebuster for two.

A hanging DDT out of the corner gives Jacobs two but the Contra Code is countered into a bridging German suplex to give Doane two more. Doane’s guillotine legdrop (that always looked good) is enough for the pin at 10:07. Hold on though as Jacobs’ foot was on the ropes and TOMMY DREAMER (HOW IS HE ON EVERY SINGLE SHOW EVER???) comes down to point out the referee’s mistake. The match is restarted and Jacobs grabs the guillotine choke for the fast tap at 10:51.

Rating: C+. Doane is someone who was crippled by a horrible gimmick but he was completely watchable once he got away from the nonsense of the Spirit Squad. I’ve never been a Jacobs fan but he was doing a nice underdog deal here, which is more than I would have bet on. Nice match and that’s nice to see.

Post match Dreamer gets in the ring to say he’s back (When did he ever leave?). He walked away from something that he loved but he would never walk away from being in the wrestling ring. He thanks everyone for trying to live their dream and letting him live his. It was his dream to have a midcard match on an indy show restated? Get better dreams. Dreamer goes to leave but Jacobs says hang on a second (it has been a full thirty seconds since Dreamer got some praise).

Jacobs thanks Dreamer for promoting the show but won’t thank him for helping him win his first Evolve match, because Jacobs doesn’t need it. He is choosing to stand alone in Evolve and wants to know why Dreamer is here. Is it because he needs that one more minute in the spotlight? Jacobs wants that look off of Dreamer’s face because he has seen it for the last fifteen years. Dreamer takes his jacket off but Jacobs doesn’t need approval from a washed up has been. Dreamer is just here to have fun though and isn’t even being paid, so he jumps Jacobs. The fight is on with Dreamer getting the better of it because reasons.

Davey Richards is still warming up.

Ken Doane leaves the rest room with his bag over his shoulder and rants about how he is tired of being treated like this everywhere he goes. He storms off.

Chris Dickinson vs. Johnny Gargano

Gargano has long hair for a weird look and has only been wrestling for about five years. Dickinson takes him into the corner to start but Gargano is back with an enziguri into a running clothesline. An Ace Crusher gives Gargano two and it’s time to start trading cradles for two each.

Gargano gets something like the Rings of Saturn but it’s broken up for an exchange of strikes to the face. They’re both knocked to their knees with Gargano blocking a big kick to the ribs. Dickinson is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two and an elbow to the face gets two more. The knee pad comes down but Gargano catches him with a running DDT. There’s the Lawn Dart into a full nelson spun into a faceplant to finish Dickinson at 6:04.

Rating: C. This is one of the best parts about watching a show like this: seeing future stars as absolute nothings who are mainly there to fill in a spot on the card. Gargano looked a little odd with his longer hair but managed to keep his calm against the bigger and more athletic Dickinson. Good enough match here but another short one.

Post match some people show up to the VIP area and Gargano is rather pleased to see them. Again: NAME THESE PEOPLE.

TJP vs. Muneori Sawa

They trade some kicks to start with Sawa taking him to the mat for a quick trip to the rope for a break. A snap German suplex sends TJP flying but he’s right back with a rollup into a standoff and applause. Sawa can’t get the arm so he takes TJP into the corner for a kick to the chest. More rapid fire strikes connect but Sawa misses a running boot. Not that it matters as he takes TJP down by the leg and headbutts away at the knee, followed by an elbow to the ribs.

TJP is right back with a cross armbreaker, sending Sawa straight into the ropes for the break. Some kicks to the arm keep Sawa down but he’s back up for an exchange of strikes to the face. They slug it out from their knees until Sawa pulls him into a kneebar. The rope is grabbed so it’s a dragon screw legwhip, only to have TJP pull him into a cross armbreaker for the break. Back up and TJP’s leg is fine enough to fire off kicks, setting up another cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into a rollup for two and Sawa nails a Shining Wizard for two more. The Octopus goes on and TJP taps at 9:18.

Rating: B-. I’ve always liked TJP and that was the case again here. They were tearing it up with the submissions and holds, which made for a heck of a showcase. That’s the kind of thing you can always go with and it was great to see here. I don’t think I have ever seen Sawa before so it was cool to have someone fresh but still fun to watch. Good stuff here.

Adam Cole narrates his talk with Tommy Dreamer and promises people will remember him. So yeah the guy who looked like Adam Cole earlier was in fact Adam Cole.

Team Frightening vs. Akuma’s Army

That would be Frightmare/Hallowicked/Mike Quackenbush vs. Brodie Lee/Gran Akuma/Icarus and these guys are from Chikara. Mike takes Icarus down by the arm to start and that goes nowhere as commentary tries to explain the story here, which is as much of a downward spiral as you can get. Icarus slips out of an Octopus attempt and it’s quickly off to Hallowicked vs. Lee for an exchange of shoulders.

Hallowicked snaps off a running hurricanrana and brings Akuma back in, with Hallowicked taking him down with a spinning armdrag. It’s back to Icarus so Akuma gets in a cheap shot from the apron but a series of kicks from the ring and apron rock Akuma in a hurry. A victory roll gets two on Icarus and it’s back to Lee for a heck of a powerbomb. Frightmare gets knocked off the top and Lee pulls him back over the top for two.

Akuma comes back in and Frightmare uses him as a launchpad to hurricanrana Lee. The hot tag brings in Hallowicked, who charges into Lee’s swinging Boss Man Slam. The pace picks up and Akuma hits some double knees to the chest for two on Frightmare. Mike comes in for a super hurricanrana into a Swanton with Frightmare adding a standing moonsault for two on Akuma. Frightmare snaps off a tornado DDT to Lee and the Rydeen Bomb (Sky High) finishes Icarus at 11:34.

Rating: C+. This was another fast paced and entertaining match, though egads trying to figure out what the backstories in a Chikara match is harder than something that is very complicated. It was a nice addition on the show from an energy perspective but the costumes and characters do feel completely out of left field here. Pretty high energy match though and that’s all you can ask for out of a showcase.

The documentary filmmaker consoles TJP but then runs away when she realizes she is on camera.

Davey Richards vs. Kota Ibushi

Kyle O’Reilly, Tony Kozina and Michael Nakazawa are here. They waste no time in going with the hard strikes to the face with Ibushi knocking Richards out to the floor. Back in and Ibushi strikes away in the corner until they head to the apron where Richards snaps him down onto the apron. Richards starts in on the arm with a hammerlock suplex into a flipping over hammerlock.

There’s a stomp to the arm, followed by a modified Tequila Sunrise. Richards goes up top but Ibushi is right up there, only to get taken down by a flying armbar. Ibushi fights up with forearms to the face, with Richards seeming to enjoy them as usual. More cranking to the arm ensues and they both go to the apron. A fight over a superplex to the floor is broken up with Ibushi knocking him outside. That means the big moonsault can connect, followed by more rapid fire strikes into a standing moonsault for two.

Richards shrugs them off and hits his own missile dropkick, followed by the handspring kick to the head for two more. A cross armbreaker is broken up in a hurry but Ibushi flips out of a superplex attempt. The rapid fire kicks just wake Ibushi up more and it’s the double moonsault for two. Ibushi goes up but Richards catches him with the release German superplex. Running kicks in the corner rock Ibushi again and a big kick to the face gets two.

Ibushi rolls out of a kimura and snaps off the poisonrana, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. More strikes set up another running clothesline and the DR Driver gets two on Ibushi. They head up top for the exchange of headbutts and Ibushi knocks him down. The Phoenix splash misses and Richards knocks him down for a shooting star press. The Kimura makes Ibushi tap at 18:13.

Rating: B. It was very hard hitting and a very strong style match, but my goodness I had forgotten how annoying Richards could be. The ultra serious and hard hitting/striking stuff gets old fast and it did here again. There is something that seems so ridiculous about being hit in the face and just screaming at someone but that is almost all Richards would do. Good match for the style they were wanting, but I wouldn’t be complaining that this was Richards’ only Evolve match for about three years because of his new deal with ROH.

Brad Allen talks about how he signed with WWE and his mom was killed in a car wreck the next day. Egads that’s rough.

Johnny Gargano, Jimmy Jacobs and the VIP people from earlier try to get Silas Young to go out on the town with them. Young agrees, but gets a phone call as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a promotion where if you like it you’ll like it and if you don’t like it you won’t. That might sound really simplified, but there is not going to be much of a middle ground on this stuff. It was a VERY similar style throughout with a good chunk of the roster using a bunch of kicks to the chest/head and submission holds. You know what you are getting here and if you like that style then you will enjoy it, but if that is not your thing, this is not likely to change your mind. The show is far from bad and nothing is overly terrible, but it very well might not be your style.

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice which is one of the rather big pit stops on the way to Rebellion in April. I’m curious to see how they are going to set things up on the way there, as the card is all but set up. You can always use a little bit of an extra push though and that is what we should be in for here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Tasha Steelz vs. Jazz

Kiera Hogan and Jordynne Grace are here too. Steelz talks a lot of trash to start and Jazz doesn’t seem interested in hearing it. Jazz sends her outside without much effort but Steelz is back in with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into a headscissors, with Steelz escaping and talking more trash. They stay on the mat with the reversals until Steelz has to bail to the rope to get out of a modified Boston crab.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two on Jazz and Steelz slaps on the chinlock. Back up and Steelz misses a charge into the post, allowing Jazz to grab a small package for two. The Falcon Arrow gives Steelz two but Jazz makes the comeback and grabs a Samoan drop for two more. A sitout powerslam gets the same as Grace and Hogan get into it. Jazz grabs the STF for the tap at 6:03.

Rating: C-. It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time and there wasn’t much more to it than that. One half of a tag team beat half of another tag team to set up their Tag Team Title match in a few days. It has been done for years now and while it gets the job done, it doesn’t exactly make me thrilled to see the title match.

ODB is happy for Jazz when Susan comes in to yell. A match is made for tonight.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Trey Miguel talks to his friend Sam (who Sami Callihan made into his student last week), who says Sami isn’t a bad guy. Miguel says Sami is lying but Sam says that’s what Sami said he would say. Sami told Sam to issue a challenge for tonight so Trey will beat a lesson into him.

Video on Moose vs. Rich Swann at Sacrifice to unify the two World Titles. Swann is ready to fight and Moose is ready to be a monster. Believe it or not, Swann thinks Moose is missing the heart.

Mahabali Shera/Rohit Raju vs. Chris Sabin/James Storm

Raju and Sabin start things off with both guys ducking a bit until Raju sweeps the leg for a knockdown. Sabin takes him into the corner though and hands it off to Storm, who gets two off of Sabin’s kick to the back of the head. Storm throws Raju into the corner because he wants to face Shera like a cowboy should. Some right hands in the corner don’t do much to Shera, who kicks him in the face. Striker: “The world just saw that.” Check your viewership Striker. You would be lucky if the population of Lafayette, Louisiana saw that (at least in America).

We take a break and come back with Sabin in trouble for a change and Shera hitting some clotheslines in the corner. Shera’s Cannonball gets two but Sabin fights out of the double team and gets the hot tag to Storm. House is cleaned, including a spinebuster for two on Raju. An assisted tornado DDT gives Sabin two and everything breaks down. Raju hits a jumping knee to Storm but Shera goes after Storm, which has Raju annoyed. Sabin gets in a shot from behind to knock Shera into Raju, setting up the Cradle Shock for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: C+. I’m still not sure when Shera and Raju became a half decent tag team but they’re making it work out well enough. Storm and Sabin are a cool idea for a team and they are doing about as well as you would expect. This was a good match and that is not something I would have expected coming in, so call it a nice surprise.

Reno Scum and XXXL argue as my blood pressure begins to rise. Decay comes in to talk to Larry D., with Acey Romero freaking out. XXXL leaves and Decay vs. Scum seems to be set up for Sacrifice.

Flashback Moment of the Week: the Motor City Machine Guns b. Beer Money and Team 3D.

Deaner survives his punishment and gets another lecture from Eric Young. Chris Sabin and James Storm come up and ask what is going on here. Storm yells at Young and the brawl is on, with Joe Doering coming in to leave Storm and Sabin laying.

Brian Myers storms into Scott D’Amore’s office and demands that Eddie Edwards be fired in exchange for dropping some legal issue. D’Amore makes an anything goes match for Sacrifice instead. I’m not sure if that is what Myers wanted.

Trey Miguel vs. Sam Beale

Sami Callihan handles Sam’s intro, saying he has the heart that Miguel is lacking. Trey turns to yell at Callihan and gets jumped from behind to start. That earns Sam a leglock pulled into a choke for the tap at 43 seconds.

Post match Sami messes with the lights and takes Sam out.

Chris Sabin and James Storm want to get rid of Violent By Design by cutting off the snake’s head at Sacrifice. Jake Something comes in and says he’ll have their back. Sure why not.

It’s time for the AEW ad, with Tony Khan bragging about the Revolution buy rate and running down the Dynamite card. Tony Schiavone handles the other half because these shows have a lot on them.

Scott D’Amore handles the contract signing between the Good Brothers and FinJuice for the Tag Team Title match at Sacrifice. Booze is brought out so D’Amore leaves and lets them handle this themselves. They enjoy some shots (with an ode to Curt Hennig) and the contract is signed. FinJuice throws the drinks into the Brothers’ faces and the brawl is on.

Ace Austin vs. Chris Bey

Madman Fulton is here with Austin and this should be good. Austin heads straight to the floor and grabs a chair but gets back in at nine sans chair. Bey takes him into the corner so Austin shoves him off, only to get headlocked to the mat. Austin slips out of that and takes Bey to the mat again, setting up a double underhook with a knee to the chest for two. Back up and Bey hits a sliding dropkick to the floor, followed by the big running flip dive.

Austin gets in a shot of his own and heads back inside for his own running flip dive. Back in and a running kick to the face gives Austin two but Bey grabs a Code Red for the same. They both miss rapid fire kicks to the head as Striker says people will be talking about this like they talked about Tiger Mask vs. Dynamite Kid. Austin catches him on top with Bey dropping him down to the floor. Bey falls too (Striker: “An avalanche of flesh!”) and we take a break.

Back with a slugout from their knees until Ace hits a spinning kick to the head in the corner. Bey blocks a headscissors attempt but the Art of Finesse is blocked as well. Bey hits a Vertebreaker for two (good grief) and a slingshot DDT gets no cover. The delay lets Austin bail to the floor and gets in a shot of his own to take over. Cue TJP to watch from a chair so Fulton chases him off. Bey cuts off the Fold with a cutter and finishes with the Art of Finesse at 18:19.

Rating: B. This was rather good, Striker’s downright annoying/stupid comments aside. Both of these guys can look good against anyone so it should come as no surprise that they had a really good one against each other. That being said, who in the world said it was ok to use a Vertebreaker for a throw away near fall? If you’re going to use some big move like that then it better be the finish (especially if you are winning the match). Otherwise, just leave it out because it wastes what could be a huge move later on.

Off to Swinger’s Palace where Josh Alexander doesn’t like TJP. Alexander doesn’t like the belt being on a poker table and promises to be coming for the title.

Rohit Raju yells at Mahabali Shera and gets lifted up against a wall. Shera does not owe him a thing.

ODB vs. Susan

Susan complains about ODB’s chest so ODB pulls her into it. Some chops in the corner have Susan in pain and a Bronco Buster connects. A fall away slam sends Susan outside and the match to a break. Back with ODB hitting a running shoulder and hitting the Dirty Dozen in the corner. Susan grabs a full nelson and then pulls ODB down by the hair, allowing her to pour out ODB’s flask. That earns her the Bam to give ODB the pin at 7:28.

Rating: D+. Well I certainly remember why I can’t stand ODB. This was one signature “hey look at this kind of sexual thing I’m doing” move after another and it gets old fast. Throw in the yelling all the time and I’m really not sure why I’m supposed to cheer for her. She is a legend in the division, but that does not mean she was ever fun to watch in the first place.

Post match Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee comes in to beat on ODB but Jordynne Grace and Jazz run in for the save. Fire N Flava come in as well and the heels beat everyone down.

Sacrifice rundown.

Scott D’Amore is glad to get….something signed, but Moose is in the ring to interrupt. Moose wants D’Amore out here for an announcement he has promised. Post break, Moose is threatening to hijack the show (which has about five minutes to go) unless D’Amore gets out here.

Cue D’Amore, who brings out Rich Swann for a staredown. Here’s the announcement: the match at Sacrifice is title for title in a unification match. They hold up their titles but D’Amore isn’t done. Whoever leaves is going to face Kenny Omega in another title vs. title match against AEW World Champion Kenny Omega. Striker: “IMPACT WRESTLING HAS JUST BROKEN THE INTERNET!” No you haven’t, you schnook.

We cut to Don Callis, who is on the phone with Omega, and says it was just like they planned.

Overall Rating: C. This show did well enough to build to Sacrifice, and it helps a lot that the shows are taking place about once a month. Sacrifice feels like a regular pay per view and it helps that it is at a discount price. The wrestling was hit and miss, as tends to be the case here, with Striker dragging things down due to general annoyance, as tends to be the case as well. Not a bad show, but it was just a preview for the important one.

Results

Jazz b. Tasha Steelz – STF

Chris Sabin/James Storm b. Rohit Raju/Mahabali Shera – Cradle Shock to Raju

Trey Miguel b. Sam Beale – Leglock choke

Chris Bey b. Ace Austin – Art of Finesse

ODB b. Susan – The Bam

 

 

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205 Live
Date: March 12, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

For once we’re coming off of a pretty strong show as last week saw good stuff in both of the show’s matches. The talent is there, but it is all about finding an interesting way to present it. This show has had a serious problem figuring it out along the way but hopefully they can start going in the right direction again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bollywood Boyz vs. Curt Stallion/Mansoor

Ever-Rise joins commentary for a bonus. Commentary mentions Mansoor being undefeated during his entrance as it seems to be a thing. Mansoor wristlocks Sunil to start but gets reversed into a headlock for his efforts. Samir comes in and it’s a pair of leapfrogs into a double back elbow for two on Mansoor. Some double dropkicks take the Boyz down but it’s too early for the hot tag.

A double suplex gets two on Mansoor and we hit the chinlock. Sunil holds Mansoor’s legs so Samir can drop a top rope elbow for two more. Mansoor manages to shove them into each other but doesn’t tag, instead fighting them both off on his own. A clothesline into a bulldog out of the corner drops Sunil and the slingshot neckbreaker hits Samir. Stallion tags himself in, glares at Mansoor, headbutts Sunil and pins Samir at 6:25.

Rating: C-. This could work as they do need to do something with Mansoor so feuding with Stallion could be as interesting as anything else. Above all else it is something and that is more than Mansoor has had this side of Saudi Arabia. I’m curious to see where it goes and that is something I haven’t been able to say about 205 Live in a good while.

Tensions seem ready to flare post match.

We see Jordan Devlin saying that he’s coming back to NXT from this week’s NXT.

Ariya Daivari vs. August Grey

They fight into the corner to start and Grey isn’t having this trash talk. Daivari takes him down into an early chinlock but Grey reverses that into a headlock. Grey throws in a takeover to frustrate Daivari even more but he’s back up with some hard chops. A running hurricanrana and some chops set up another headlock on Daivari but he’s back up with a knee to the ribs.

The threat of So Much Prettier sends Daivari bailing to the floor so Grey misses a dive and tweaks his knee. Daivari hits a hanging neckbreaker off the apron for two but Grey grabs a small package back inside. That annoys Daivari so much that he blasts Grey with a running clothesline and the chinlock goes on again. With that not working, Daivari misses the Persian Lion splash and Grey makes the comeback.

That means a double clothesline though and they’re both down again. It’s Grey up first and unloading in the corner, followed by some shots to the face. Grey snaps off a neckbreaker into a scoop brainbuster for two more. A swinging suplex gets two more so Grey heads up top, only to get pulled down in an Iconoclasm. Now the Persian Lion splash gets two so they head to the apron with Grey hitting something like an STO.

Back in and Grey misses his rope walk spinning crossbody for a big crash. Daivari gets caught grabbing the rope while trying to counter a sunset flip and stops to yell at the referee. Grey nails a superkick but So Much Prettier is broken up. Instead Grey avoids a charge in the corner and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 13:16.

Rating: B. Where in the world did that come from? These two had a heck of a match and I was wanting to see how it was going to end. Grey is becoming a breakout star more and more every single week and it’s kind of awesome to see. The ending wasn’t a heel turn but rather Grey cheating because Daivari had tried to and balancing things out. It made sense and was a clever way to wrap up a good match.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what has gotten into 205 Live as of late but they are on a rather nice roll. This is their second good show in a row and the main event is worth seeing, even if you’re not overly familiar with either of them. I’ve been asking for the show to pick things up a bit and that is what they have been doing so well done on all accounts.

 

 

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Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

In addition to all the World Title stuff going on, there’s another legendary match on the show and it’s for the Intercontinental Title. Shawn Michaels had been the champion but was suspended over a failed drug test but came back with the title belt. While he was gone, Razor Ramon (now a face and red hot) won the title. The solution was to put both belts above the ring and have a ladder match that would wind up as one of the most influential matches of all time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package on the first Wrestlemania as this is going to be a show heavy on celebrating history.

Vince introduces Little Richard and a choir to sing America the Beautiful. Richard sings a very nice solo version to start but the choir joins him for an encore and it picks up even more.

Jerry and Vince recap the World Title situation as well as Bret vs. Owen. Another piece worth mentioning is from the Royal Rumble when Bret and Owen tried to win the Tag Team Titles but Bret refused to tag out, leading to the mat being stopped due to a leg injury. Owen rightfully snapped and kicked Bret’s knee out, setting up the match here.

For reasons I don’t quite understand, the Fink isn’t doing the ring announcing.

We get the traditional MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. I’ve always liked that.

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Owen shoves him away off a lockup and immediately celebrates in a funny moment. They hit the mat for a bit and Owen nips up to his feet, meaning it’s time for another celebration. Bret’s waistlock sends Owen to the ropes and he’s not so happy with that one. Owen slaps him in the face and things get serious in a hurry. We get Owen’s signature counter to a wristlock but Bret nips up as well and takes Owen down in an armbar.

A monkey flip sends Owen into the ropes and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This has been back and forth so far but Bret is clearly a step ahead. Back in and Bret returns the slap before going back to the arm. Owen fights up and hits a spinwheel kick as Lawler rants about how the Hart parents lied about Bret protecting Owen when they were kids. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch on Bret, followed by a belly to belly for two. Vince: “YES! NO!”

Owen grabs a very nice German suplex for two as Bret’s back and neck continue to take a beating. There’s a tombstone to Bret but he avoids a top rope headbutt from halfway across the ring. Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom but Owen enziguris him back down. Neither guy can get a Sharpshooter so Bret sends him to the floor for a dive, only to come up holding his knee. Yeah I’m sure.

Owen goes after the knee and my goodness it might be legit for a change. A few leg locks don’t get Bret anywhere so Owen simplifies it with a Figure Four in the middle of the ring. The hold is finally rolled over into the corner and Bret is up with a hard whip to send Owen chest first into the corner (a signature spot that Bret usually takes). Bret gets a nice piledriver for two and an even better looking superplex gets a delayed near fall.

With nothing else working, Owen kicks him low and puts on the Sharpshooter as Lawler is ecstatic. Bret kicks him over and tries his own Sharpshooter but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Back up and Bret raises a boot in the corner to set up a victory roll but Owen drops forward into a rollup for the completely clean pin at 20:21.

Rating: A+. This is widely considered to be the best opening match in company history and it’s very difficult to put up much of an argument. They were going back and forth for over twenty minutes out there and it never once gets boring or uneventful. This had a great build and Owen is proven exactly right as he jumps out of his brother’s shadow and becomes a main event player.

It’s a great sign when there’s almost nothing to make fun of and it’s just one awesome move and sequence after another. Absolute masterpiece here and something that definitely needs to be seen to be appreciated because this is just a great wrestling match. That’s the right word: wrestling. These two were wrestling each other and it worked the entire way through.

Owen celebrates in the back and talks about how this is a great moment in his career. I could watch Owen’s giddy celebrations all day.

Wrestlemania II was innovative (not really) and had a battle royal.

Here’s the President of the Hair Club for Men who presents the Fink with a hairpiece. This didn’t work and didn’t last, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink the Clown

Bigelow and Luna are evil and Dink is a miniature version of Doink because just turning the big one good wasn’t enough of a waste of potential. Bigelow runs Doink over to start and scores with a dropkick. He misses a backsplash though and Doink hammers away without even taking his jacket off. It’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in to take away the awesomeness that was Bam Bam Bigelow beating up a clown.

Luna chokes Dink on the middle rope but misses a charge, allowing Dink to drop an elbow for two. She misses a really high splash though and it’s off to Doink vs. Bigelow with the Bam Bam sitting on his chest. Doink comes back with a jumping DDT but misses a top rope seated senton, setting up Bigelow’s top rope headbutt for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D-. The silence from the crowd tells you almost everything there is to know. It’s hard to get a New York crowd to not care about wrestling but these four managed to do it. This is the definition of the cartoon style feud that dominated the era and a good example of how stupid it was. It’s not a horrible match but it’s totally uninteresting, which is even worse in a lot of ways.

Bigelow can’t get his hands on Dink and the clowns bail.

And here’s a Bill Clinton impersonator, who Vince treats like the real thing.

Wrestlemania III was a really big show as well. For once they’re right on these things.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Yokozuna hurt Crush last year and Crush blamed Savage for never coming to see him in the hospital. Crush attacked him, drawing Savage out of the broadcasting booth and back into the ring for one last run. This is falls count anywhere but it’s more like falls don’t count in the ring, as you win by getting a fall and your opponent not being able to get back inside the ring in sixty seconds, making it something like a prototype last man standing match.

The brawl is on in the aisle and Crush drops him throat first across the barricade (a move which helped start the feud) for a quick pin. Savage is back inside though (despite Mr. Fuji hitting him in the back with the Japanese flag) and the sixty second clock is already proving to be a bad idea. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe for some shots to the ribs but stops to get some salt, only to have Savage knock it into his face. An ax handle and the elbow have Crush in trouble but Savage is smart enough to take him to the floor for the pin.

Crush is out cold so Fuji douses him with water for the save. Back in and Crush backdrops him over the top for that awesome looking landing that only Savage can do. Savage posts him head first and they fight into the crowd with Crush kicking him in the face. They fight backstage with Savage throwing him into a door for the pin, but this time he gets smart and ties Crush’s foot up with an electrical cord and handing him upside down. To make it even better, the rope gives way and Crush falls down but it’s enough to give Savage the win at 9:44.

Rating: C+. This is a tricky one as there’s a cool idea here but the clock thing was stupid. Look at Savage hitting the elbow but having to throw Crush to the floor for the pin. It looks horribly awkward and doesn’t feel like they’re really mad at each other. The ending was smart though and it was a violent enough fight but this would have been much better under the modern last man standing rules and with some more time.

The Clinton impersonator isn’t funny but he does a decent impression. I.R.S. is here to congratulate him on raising the taxes.

Video on Fan Fest, a precursor to Axxess.

Savage celebrates with some fans and we see his title win at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

No story here. Blayze is defending and brought the title out of retirement back in December. It’s the same Lelani Kai (in case you thought it was a different one with the same name) from Wrestlemania I challenging and she runs the champ over to start. A headbutt puts Blayze down but she comes back with a standing hurricanrana for two. Some suplexes get two each as Lawler thinks Blayze looks like a horse. Back up and Blayze grabs her signature German suplex to retain at 3:25.

Rating: D-. Kai was nothing more than a name out of the past while Blayze more or less was women’s wrestling in America at this point. The title would be only be around about another year and a half before being dropped into a trashcan on Monday Nitro, putting it out of commission for several more years.

Roddy Piper put out Morton Downey Jr.’s cigarette with a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Rhonda Shear, the definition of a ditzy blonde, is in the back getting his picture taken with Shawn Michaels when a pretty drunk looking Burt Reynolds comes in to steal her.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Men on a Mission

Men on a Mission, a pair of fat rappers (Mabel, who is 6’10 and 500lbs, and Mo with manager Oscar) who wear bright purple and gold, are challenging. The Quebecers are Jacques (Rougeau/the Mountie) and Pierre (Carl Ouellet, a French Canadian wrestler) and are managed by Johnny Polo (better known as Raven).

Mabel gets double teamed to start but the big double clothesline drops the champs. Mo’s cross body gets two on Pierre as Lawler talks about how huge Mabel is. The Quebecers realize that Mo is their only option so it’s time for the choking. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Mo for two before doing the same thing over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Mo’s running flip attack puts Pierre down and it’s Mabel coming in to near silence.

The champs hurt their backs as they try a double suplex but actually make the second attempt work. The Cannonball (assisted swanton bomb) gets two and Mabel does the power kickout. Back up and Mabel spinwheel kicks Pierre down to set up their assisted splash (Mo gets on the middle rope and drives Mabel down). Jacques fails at a save attempt but Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor for a countout at 7:43.

Rating: D. The match could have been worse but that’s a horrible ending to a not great match. I get that you didn’t want to put the titles on Men on a Mission, but the Headshrinkers were getting them in about a month so why not swap them out and give us the title change here? It would be better than on a random episode of Raw. Men on a Mission were a good enough fun tag team but that doesn’t mean I want to see them in major spots on the biggest show of the year.

Wrestlemania VI’s moment is the only moment you would expect it to be.

We recap Luger vs. Yokozuna. Luger turned face last 4^th of July when he answered and won a bodyslam challenge issued by Yokozuna on board the USS Intrepid. This led to a long running campaign called the Lex Express, leading to Luger’s shot at Summerslam. Luger won by countout and had to win the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. He has the momentum on his side and knows he can beat Yokozuna but Luger is known as a huge choke artist so Yokozuna is probably still favored.

Rhonda Shear is guest timekeeper and Donnie Walhberg of the New Kids on the Block is guest ring announcer.

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette in his corner. To make it even more interesting, Mr. Perfect is introduced as a surprise guest referee. Luger is the All American boy here but Lawler says the real American way is Arabian oil going into Japanese cars. Some right hands stagger Yokozuna but a big clothesline stops Luger in mid charge. A forearm puts Yokozuna on the floor but Mr. Perfect (in a referee shirt and referee pants which look like pajamas) doesn’t let Luger follow up. Luger tries a slam and can’t get it over this early, allowing Yokozuna to hammer away with the big clubbing blows to the back.

Yokozuna stops to pull off a turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold on Luger as Cornette demands that the fans cut out the USA chants. Luger fights up after being in the hold for over two minutes but Yokozuna runs him over and even threatens Mr. Perfect. It’s back to the nerve hold again as the match has already died a slow death. They’re just laying there in the hold as the crowd gets more and more annoyed. Yokozuna finally throws Luger to the floor after three and a half minutes out of four were spent on that single hold. Back in and the hold goes right back on because Yokozuna needs to rest even more.

Luger is just laying on the mat as Yokozuna has his hand on his neck. The hold doesn’t even look good but it’s stayed on for the better part of five minutes now. Luger fights up again and sends Yokozuna into the exposed pad before pulling off the slam. The big forearm knocks Yokozuna out cold and Luger stops to beat up the managers but accidentally shoves Perfect in the process, drawing a DQ at 14:40. Remember last year when Luger blindsided Perfect after their match? Well Perfect certainly does.

Rating: F. This match wasn’t even fifteen minutes long and nearly five of that was spent in a rest hold. There’s no excuse for something like that as Yokozuna has shown that he can stay in an active match for long stretches. The ending was fine but the bulk of the match just crippled everything they had.

One other note: there’s a famous story that the ending was changed due to Luger shooting his mouth off in a bar saying that he was going to win the match and Vince changed the plans as a result. This makes no sense if you can see the glaring hole in the story: what else was Luger supposed to say? “Yeah I’m losing at Wrestlemania. It sucks but there’s nothing I can do about it.” Wrestlers always promise they’re going to win matches. It’s basic storytelling, but I’m supposed to believe that the story was changed because Luger stuck to the script? That doesn’t hold up and never will.

The fans are MAD over that ending and I can’t say I blame them. Nearly a third of a fifteen minute match was spent with Yokozuna rubbing Luger’s neck, which didn’t even go anywhere, like so many nerve holds don’t. This is Wrestlemania. The fans should be able to expect more from the World Title match.

In the back, Perfect defends his decision to a screaming Luger. This never went anywhere due to Perfect’s back flaring up again.

Wrestlemania VII saw Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth reunite one final time. That’s the moment they should show, but instead we see the blindfold match. Monsoon: “It was like the blind leading the blind.”

Harvey Wippleman comes out to yell at the Fink for his stupid haircut. It didn’t even help his stupid looks. Fink gets physical (which eventually set up a series of tuxedo matches between the two of them. These things should never be spoken of again.) but Harvey’s newest protege Adam Bomb comes out to grab the helpless announcer. Cue Earthquake of all people and it’s time for a match.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

A powerslam sets up the Earth Splash for the pin on Bomb at 35 seconds. Well that was pointless.

Cornette and Yokozuna laugh at Luger for blowing it again. They’re more than ready for Bret. They saw that knee injury and Yokozuna is coming after it like a shark. The feeding frenzy will begin. It’s still bizarre to see Cornette raving like a madman in the WWF.

Wrestlemania VIII’s moment is just Undertaker’s entrance. His opponent isn’t even mentioned.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

I really don’t think the ladder match needs much of an introduction. Ring announcer Bill Dunn: “The following contest has no rules!” Then he explains how you win the match, which sounds an awful lot like rules. Razor is officially the only champion coming in and Shawn has Diesel in his corner. Feeling out process to start until Razor counters a wristlock into a chokeslam. A neckbreaker doesn’t have much effect on Razor and they head to the floor where Diesel clotheslines Razor down. That’s enough for an ejection and it’s one on one.

They head back inside for more fighting as the ladder continues to loom at ringside. Shawn fires off right hands but Razor loads up a quick Razor’s Edge, only to get backdropped over the top and onto the exposed concrete. Razor comes up holding his elbow and now it’s time for the ladder. Razor is up for the save but Shawn baseball slides the ladder into him to take over again. He drives the ladder down into the ribs instead of climbing though and it’s time for violence.

That bores Shawn so he throws the ladder at Razor instead. Shawn goes up the ladder but Razor makes the save, pulling Shawn’s tights down at the same time. Razor is still in trouble though as Shawn splashes him off the ladder to stay on the bad ribs. It’s so nice to see even some basic psychology in a match that would become defined by all the big spots. Razor pulls Shawn off the ladder to send him into the top rope, putting both guys down again.

After a cool looking overhead shot, Shawn sets up the ladder in the corner but Razor whips him in to send Shawn crashing down to the floor. A catapult sends Shawn face first into the ladder up against the apron and it’s time for Razor to climb. This time though it’s Shawn coming off the top to break it up, only to have the ladder fall on him in an even bigger crash. Both guys climb but crash back down with the ladder bending in the process, which would help play a roll in their rematch at Summerslam the next year.

Shawn dropkicks Ramon off the ladder and wisely shoves the ladder onto Razor. For some reason Ramon is right back up, only to eat a superkick. We get one of the most famous spots of the match as Shawn rides the ladder off the top and down onto Razor for a big crash. Shawn goes up again but Razor shoulders the ladder down, sending Shawn into the ropes, tying his foot up in the process. Razor climbs up and pulls down the belts for the win and the undisputed title at 18:49.

Rating: A+. It’s the ladder match and I think that’s all I need to say. This is one of the most perfectly executed matches of all time and it’s almost impossible to find anything bad about it. Both guys were made better here with Shawn getting to showcase how great he really could be. His rise to the top was coming and there was almost nothing that could stop him. This more than holds up over time and deserves the accolades it deserves as a perfect match. It may not be the most eye popping spectacle ever, but it was a perfectly done match on the biggest stage and it doesn’t get any better than that.

Rick Martel, the Headshrinkers, Jeff Jarrett and I.R.S. argue over who is the captain for the ten man tag so the match is postponed until tomorrow night on Raw. That’s one match canceled and you have to believe one cut horribly short. At least we got that epic nerve hold though.

Ted DiBiase tries to bribe Clinton.

Wrestlemania IX’s moment is Fuji throwing salt at Bret. The subsequent title changes are never mentioned.

Music video on Bret and Yokozuna’s paths to the main event with Bret’s set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Ring announcer Burt Reynolds introduces actress Jennie Garth as guest timekeeper. The special guest referee here: Roddy Piper, who may or may not want revenge on Bret for Wrestlemania VIII.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Bret is challenging and limps to the ring to sell the knee injury from earlier in the night. Yokozuna jumps him before he can get in the ring though and Bret is in early trouble. A big headbutt puts Bret down and it’s time for choking. Bret fights up with some right hands and a headbutt to put Yokozuna down but he can’t follow up. The champ gets taken down for two but Cornette pulls Piper to the floor. That earns Cornette a right hand to the face as Yokozuna gets back up and rakes Bret’s eyes to take over.

There’s the big legdrop but Yokozuna throws him outside instead of covering. Back in and Bret avoids a charge in the corner and gets two off a middle rope bulldog. That’s the third time he’s used that move in two matches against Yokozuna but what else is he supposed to do against someone that big? Bret tries to go the middle rope but dives into a belly to belly. It’s time for the Banzai Drop but Yokozuna falls backwards (with no contact from Hart) and hits his head to give Bret the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: D+. The results helps but what was that ending? We know Bret can get him in the Sharpshooter or at least do some offensive moves to him but their big solution is to have Bret do absolutely nothing and get the pin? It doesn’t make Bret look like the conqueror but rather just like someone who was in the right place at the right time. This felt like a bigger deal than their last match and it was a more enjoyable moment as a result, even if they had another bad ending. Either way though, at least Bret is champion again.

A bunch of people including Savage, Ramon, Monsoon, Vince himself and the celebrities come out to celebrate with Bret but Owen shows up at the entrance to shake his head at Bret. He asks what about him and stares his still limping brother down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Much like last year, the two best matches carry this show as far as it needs to go and the rest is just gravy. With two masterpieces and Bret winning the title that he deserves back to end the show, it’s almost impossible to call this anything less than very good. Unfortunately the rest of the show doesn’t support the top shelf stuff, but the rest of this show was just so strong that it carries everything else with it. This is one of the most well received shows of all time and it’s really not hard to see why with every major match hitting on at one major cylinder.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: F

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: B+

It’s Wrestlemania X. This is classic viewing whether you’re a huge wrestling fan or some loser on a night shift.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/17/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-10-maybe-the-best-mania-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/19/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-x-how-can-you-not-love-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Anyone that has read my stuff over the years knows that I believe Wrestlemania X7 to be the undisputed best show ever. This is one of the small handful of shows that I actually think about for awhile before saying X7 is better. On this show are two of the best matches of all time and two world title matches, all without Hogan. This show feels like a major show and it more than lives up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the first Wrestlemania. That still holds up to this day.

Little Richard and a choir sing America the Beautiful. The first version is just Richard but the choir kicks in on the second one, making for an awesome performance.

We recap Bret vs. Owen. Expect to hear the words “we recap” a lot tonight, because there is A LOT of backstory to this show. Back in mid to late 1993, Owen was getting annoyed at Bret getting all of the spotlight, but he went along with Bret and two more brothers on a Survivor Series team against Shawn Michaels and the Knights. The Knights were easily dispatched, but late in the match Owen was knocked into Bret, sending the elder brother (Bret) into the barricade. As his family went to check on him, Owen was rolled up and pinned, making him the only Hart to be eliminated.

This sent Owen into a tirade about how Bret was always hogging the spotlight. Owen challenged Bret to a match but Bret said no way. Instead, Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles, which was enough to appease Owen. At the Royal Rumble during the title shot, Bret injured his knee and refused to tag late in the match, causing the referee to stop the match due to the injury. Owen finally snapped and kicked Bret’s bad leg out from under him, fully turning heel in an awesome and totally justified moment.

Later in the night, Bret was in the Royal Rumble. He and Lex Luger were the last two men in the match and they both went out at the same time. No one could tell who hit the ground first, so they were declared co-winners. Therefore, both guys get title matches tonight. A coin toss was determined who would get the first shot at champion Yokozuna, which was won by Lex. Therefore, Lex gets a title shot first tonight, but Bret has to face suitable competition so he doesn’t get an unfair advantage in the later match. His opponent is his brother Owen (Luger would have faced Crush is Bret had won the toss). Got all that?

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

For reasons I’m not clear on, the Fink isn’t the announcer tonight. They lock up to start and Owen shoves Bret away, earning himself some celebrating. Bret takes him down to the mat but Owen escapes and celebrates again. Back to the mat for some amateur stuff but Owen grabs the rope. Owen tries to take it to the mat but Bret easily counters to send him out to the floor. Back in and Owen slaps him in the face to fire up his older brother.

More amateur stuff ensues and Owen gets to do his spinning counter to a wristlock, only to pull Bret down by the hair. Bret channels his inner Shawn and nips up before getting two off a rollup. Bret takes over with an armbar and a clothesline to send Owen out to the floor. Back in again and Bret slaps the blonde Hart before rolling him up for two. Bret hooks the armbar again before getting two off a crucifix. We’re about five minutes into this now and there is absolutely nothing to complain about. They get up again and Owen hits a sweet spinwheel kick to take over before stomping Bret to the floor.

Owen rams Bret back first into the post as the anger is starting to seep out. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch back inside as Lawler is loving this. Owen yells at his brother in a great touch to the evilness. Bret breaks it pretty quickly but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. A cross body by Owen is rolled through by Bret for two but Owen goes straight to the back again. Owen hits a German suplex for two and drops a leg on the back of Bret’s head for two more.

Bret tries to spin out of a suplex but gets caught in a tombstone. Owen goes up top but misses a swan dive, giving Bret the breather that he’s been needing. Bret starts firing back and gets two each off a clothesline and a Russian legsweep. There’s the backbreaker followed by the middle rope elbow for two more. It’s Sharpshooter time but Owen pops up and hits the enziguri to put Bret down.

Another Sharpshooter attempt is countered by Owen and a rollup gets two on Bret. This is very fast paced stuff. Owen heads to the floor and we get LUCHA BRET as he takes out his brother. He hurts his knee in the process though and Owen is very happy. Back inside and Owen goes for the leg, wrapping it around the post a few times because that’s what villains do. Off to an inverted Indian Deathlock by Owen but he lets it go before too long.

There’s a yet to be named dragon screw leg whip followed by a Figure Four (wrong leg of course) as Bret is in big trouble. Bret reverses and rolls into the ropes to break the hold but his knee is gone. An enziguri finally puts Owen down and buys big brother a breather. A headbutt puts Owen down again and there’s the chest first into the buckle bump for Owen. A bulldog gets two on Owen as does a sweet piledriver.

There’s a superplex for a delayed two as Jerry Lawler is freaking out. A sleeper is quickly broken up by a hidden low blow from Owen and it’s time for the Sharpshooter on Bret. The older Hart slaps the mat but it doesn’t mean anything yet. Bret reverses into a Sharpshooter of his own but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Owen charges into a boot in the corner so Bret loads up a rollup, but Owen counters into a cradle for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: A+. If there’s a better opening match anywhere, I’d love to see it. This was Owen’s coming out party and he looked excellent in doing it. Bret has no shame in losing here as he didn’t so much get beat as much as he got caught. This set up a great feud over the summer for the title between these two, but it never reached this level again. There was some DEEP psychology going on out there with Bret being hesitant to fight his brother and Owen using the advantage to catch Bret in a wrestling move, all on top of the leg injury. Excellent match and one of the best ever.

Owen says he told us all he could do it and he’s absolutely right.

We look at the Wrestlemania II battle royal.

Sy Sperling of the Hair Club for Men debuts a hairpiece for Fink. I’m thinking no on this one Howard.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

Bigelow tries to crush Dink but Doink makes the save.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here. Somehow I.R.S. gets a spot in the presidential box.

Wrestlemania III was awesome!

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is the result of a big heel turn by Crush where he cost Savage his broadcasting job. The idea was Yokozuna injured Crush but Savage didn’t come visit him, so Crush turned on him. This is a twist on the falls count anywhere match, but the deal is you have to pin someone out of the ring and the pinned guy has 60 seconds to make it back to the ring, making it more like a last man standing match actually. It’s also no holds barred.

Savage charges at Crush in the aisle but gets dropped on the barricade for a pin in about 40 seconds. Of course Savage makes it back in (despite some Fuji interference) but that’s a nice quick introduction to the concept. Savage is put in the Tree of Woe where Crush stomps away. Fuji hands Crush some salt but Randy knocks it into the evil one’s face. A top rope double ax has Crush in trouble and there’s the big elbow, but Savage has to send Crush to the floor before pinning him. Smart indeed. Crush beats the count after Fuji pours some water on his face.

Crush comes back with a kind of hot shot to send Savage to the floor, but Randy immediately comes back by sending Crush into the post. They fight into the crowd where Crush superkicks Savage’s head off. A piledriver doesn’t work on Savage so they fight into the back. Savage rams Crush into various metal objects and gets a pin, but instead of leaving he ties Crush’s feet up with a rope and hangs him upside down. It doesn’t quite work as Crush falls just after Savage leaves, but the clock was running the whole time and Savage wins.

Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was 1994, this was pretty good. Sixty seconds was too long of an interval as it was too long before the guy was in danger. If they cut it doewn to about thirty, this would have been much better. Either way, not bad here and more proof that Savage was still a very valuable asset to Vince, but for whatever reason (not Stephanie), he was let go.

Fake Clinton says he’s a fan. I.R.S. congratulates him on raising taxes.

We see videos from Fan Fest, which was the forerunner to Axxess.

Savage celebrates with the fans. He also won a tournament for the world title at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai was at the first Wrestlemania if that tells you anything. Blayze is the new champion after the belt was resurrected for no apparent reason. Kai, a Hawaiian/something else hybrid, runs Blayze over but gets caught in a sunset flip a few seconds later for two. Lelani comes back with a chokebomb for no cover but a bad splash gets two.

The champ comes back with a hurricanrana before there was a name for such a thing in America. Either way it gets two and we head to the floor. That goes nowhere so Kai hits a butterfly suplex for two. Blayze comes back with some basic strikes and some hair drags for two each. Alundra hits her bridging German suplex to retain a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I didn’t think so either so let’s see what was stupid about it. First of all, the “division” had two regulars in it: Blayze and a Japanese monster named Bull Nakano. Based on that, it’s pretty clear why the division was done in just a few months, not to be mentioned again for about four years.

Roddy Piper sprayed a non-celebrity with a fire extinguisher at Mania V.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are defending and have Johnny Polo with them. About a year later, Polo would become Raven. The Men on a Mission are Mabel (Viscera) and perhaps the most worthless wrestler that I can think of at the moment, Mo. They were purple and gold and rap with their manager Oscar. That’s about it. Before the match, here’s some big chested blonde talk show host for Shawn to hit on. Burt Reynolds, pretty clearly bombed, shows up to steal her. From what I’ve heard, Reynolds was the biggest jerk on the planet backstage at this show.

The Quebecers are the Mountie and another Canadian who dress like Mounties. True story: the Royal Canadian Mounted Police yelled at the WWF and said they had to have their song (it might have been just the Mountie actually. Not that it matters) changed to say “We’re NOT the Mounties” because the RCMP was worried about people believing they were real corrupt Mounties. Wait why am I spending this much space on this match?

Anyway the champions jump the Men before the bell but 500lb+ Mabel runs them oveand brings in Mo. Since Mo is the most worthless wrestler I can think of at this moment, he’s easily beaten down and not many people care. Mo is sent to the floor and Pierre backdrops Jacques over the top and onto the worthless one. Back in and a double hot shot gets two on Mo. This is going nowhere.

Mo comes back with a forward roll attack but the tag isn’t seen. Wait yes it is and Mabel cleans house. The champions try a double suplex on the fat man but hurt their backs in the process. They try it again and actually get it to work as Polo celebrates. Pierre hits the Cannonball (assisted Swanton Bomb) for two and Mabel starts firing back. The Men hit their double splash but there’s no referee. END THIS NONSENSE ALREADY! Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor….and it’s a countout.

Rating: F+. There was no structure, there was no flow, Mo is worthless, Mabel is fat and worthless, the ending sucked, and there was entirely too little Johnny Polo. Was there ANYTHING good about this match? Oh wait the suplex was good. To give you an idea of how bad Men on a Mission were, they accidentally won the titles at a house show around this time as Mabel was too fat to get up on a cover and Jacques couldn’t kick out.

Wrestlemania VI had the Ultimate Challenge.

We do the “celebrities” for the first title match. Basically it’s the aforementioned talk show host and a member of New Kids on the Block. Seriously, that’s it. There’s a guest referee though: Mr. Perfect. Now remember last year when Luger knocked out Mr. Perfect? Well there was never any retribution for that…..but I’m sure it won’t mean anything here right?

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending of course and there’s also backstory to this. The idea here is that last 4^th of July, Yokozuna held a bodyslam challenge on board the U.S.S. Intrepid. No one could slam him and the contest was closed, but a helicopter landed on the ship and out stepped Lex Luger. He hit a running forearm and slammed Yokozuna to get the biggest face turn in years. He then went around the country on a bus, begging for a title shot because he was MADE IN THE USA.

Anyway, he got the shot at Summerslam with the catch that it was his ONLY shot. Luger did indeed beat Yoko….by countout. Therefore he was frozen out of the title picture, unless he could win the Royal Rumble. We’ve already covered that though so here’s the first title match. Luger gets a bit intro with fireworks, but do you really think New York City is going to cheer him? Especially with BRET HART in the wings? You should know better than that.

Luger pounds away like any AMERICAN hero worth his (certainly not Japanese) salt. A big right hand sends Yoko out to the floor and there’s an ax handle to the back of the head. Luger busts out a freaking TOP ROPE CROSS BODY for two and a jumping elbow for the same. Since it’s early in the match, a slam completely fails and Yoko falls on top for two. Yoko rips a buckle pad off but we hit the nerve hold for a bit instead. Luger fights out of it but Yoko rams into him to stop any comeback.

Back to el nerve hold which has been running for about five minutes total now. Luger fights up but Fuji pulls the rope down to send him to the outside. Back in and BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. After about 87 years Luger fights up and makes his comeback….only to be knocked down by a chop. Yoko tries to send Luger into Chekov’s buckle but gets sent into it himself of course.

Luger makes his REAL comeback and hits a clothesline to put Yoko down and there’s the “slam” (more like he picked up Yoko and dropped him). The forearm knocks Yoko out but Luger has to beat up Fuji and Cornette. Perfect won’t count so Luger shoves him…AND THAT’S A DQ! Holy screwjob! That’s clearly what the fans are chanting: screwjob, not some other word that starts with s and often comes after holy.

Rating: D+. It’s rare to see Luger as the star of a match but that’s certainly the case here. That nerve hold was RIDICULOUS as it was about 80% of the champion’s “offense”, although a case can be made that he was saving strength for later tonight which is understandable. This was a callback to something that most people didn’t remember, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fair game. Unfortunately Perfect would injure his back again after this and not be able to payoff this feud. Either way, Luger is officially a choker in the WWF and was done as a world title contender after this.

Luger and Perfect yell at each in the back.

At Wrestlemania VII, Savage and Liz reunited. The moment given here is the Blindfold match but screw that.

Here’s Harvey Wippleman to yell at Fink for having a stupid hairpiece. They get in a shoving match but Adam Bomb comes out to scare Fink. This brings out….EARTHQUAKE?

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

This is barely a match as Quake hits his powerslam and the Earthquake gets the pin in less than 40 seconds. This is what you call “being way over time and needing to hurry up.” I’m shocked Earthquake had a job at this point.

Cornette goes on a rant against Lex Luger and cats while also calling Todd Pettingill “Petting Zoo” before yelling about Bret Hart. Then he talks about fish and Bret starting a feeding frenzy of sharks. I could listen to Cornette ramble while still staying on point for HOURS.

The Wrestlemania VIII moment is the Undertaker. Seriously, that’s it. No mention of his match, whether he won or lost, his opponent, or anything shown other than a closeup of him walking to the ring. Just the Undertaker.

Ready for some more backstory? Back in 1993, Shawn Michaels was Intercontinental Champion but failed a drug test. To this day Shawn says he didn’t do it but that’s beside the point. We needed a new champion so Ramon won a battle royal and then a match to win the title. Shawn came back with the original belt and said he never lost, so he was still the champion. The solution? Put both belts on a ladder and let them climb up to pull them down in a classic match that might be the match of the decade.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn has Diesel with him here. Diesel is told to leave but just doesn’t because that’s the kind of guy he is. Basic stuff to start with Shawn blocking a hip toss but getting chokeslammed instead. They hit the ropes to build some speed and Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Razor gets sent to the floor and there’s a clothesline from Diesel, earning him another ejection which actually works this time.

Anyway Shawn gets punched in the jaw and Razor takes over again. Shawn is knocked into the corner before a BIG clothesline puts him on the floor. Razor exposes the concrete but we head back inside before he can use it. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn backdrops Ramon over the top and onto the concrete, possibly injuring an elbow. Shawn gets the ladder but Razor jacks his jaw to stop it. The ladder is slid inside but Shawn hits a baseball slide to knock it into Ramon’s ribs.

Back inside again and the ladder is rammed into Razor’s ribs both in the corner and on the mat. Shawn throws the ladder onto Razor’s back which looks SICK. He tosses it at Razor against the ropes and goes for a climb, only to have Razor pull Shawn’s tights down and give us a rather unpleasant (or pleasant depending on your preferences) view. Not that it matters as Shawn knocks him down and climbs again, this time hitting a pretty famous splash to crush Razor again.

Razor saves another climb by shoving the ladder over, sending Shawn onto the top rope. We get a camera shot from above the ring, showing both guys laid out on the mat. Cool shot. Back up and Michaels is whipped into the ladder in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Razor rams the ladder into Shawn’s chest with his back against the post. If that’s not enough, Razor launches Shawn into the ladder against the apron to keep Michaels in agony.

Back in and Ramon BLASTS Shawn with the ladder to knock him to the outside again. Razor climbs up but Shawn dives off the top rope to knock him down. The ladder falls onto Shawn in the process to keep both guys on the mat. They both start to climb but the ladder is bent. Shawn is higher up but can’t hang in a slugout with Razor. Michaels gets punched down but the ladder gives way under Razor, sending him down.

Ramon climbs again but Shawn dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t topple over this time. In a smart move, Shawn pushes the ladder over onto Razor’s back to take control again. A big piledriver puts Razor down so Shawn goes to the corner. In another famous visual, Shawn rides the ladder down onto Razor, crushing him yet again. Since he’s a jerk though, Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor, but Ramon gets up and knocks Shawn off the ladder. Michaels gets tangled in the ropes, allowing Razor to climb up to unify the titles.

Rating: A+. This is one of the matches that reignited the midcard scene after things had died down for a bit. It also paved the way for the insane style that would start to dominate about five years later. That being said, it’s still a freaking AWESOME match with some iconic spots such as the splash. It also started Shawn on the roll of a lifetime, as the next year he would be in the world title match at Wrestlemania then win the title the following year. This match is required viewing for fans.

I.R.S. and company argue in the back, so let’s just cancel a ten man tag. In other words, we’re running long and don’t have time. It happened on Raw the next night and no one remembers it.

Ted DiBiase tries to bribe Mr. President.

Wrestlemania IX’s moment is Fuji throwing salt in Bret’s eyes. We don’t see the pin for some reason though.

Videos on Bret and Yoko set up the main event.

Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer and my goodness he makes Scott Hall look like a poster boy for AA. Oh and Jennie Garth from Beverly Hills 90210 is timekeeper. The guest referee: Roddy Piper (pause for the huge ovation) who may or may not hate Bret because of what happened at Mania 8. Nice touch.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending if you can’t tell. Burt is barely able to read lines off a card. Hart is STILL selling the leg from earlier, because that’s how awesome he is. Yoko jumps Bret to start and the fans are already fired up for this. Bret tries to fire back with some punches but Yoko stomps him down. Piper and Cornette get in an argument as Yoko blasts Hart. The splash misses though and Bret pounds away, only to hurt his head on a headbutt.

Hart actually manages to punch Yoko down and gets two off an ax handle to the back. The champion comes back with fat man offense and drops the big leg for two. A headbutt puts Bret on the floor but he gets back in at eight. Yoko misses a charge in the corner and there’s a bulldog out of the corner to put the big man down. That only gets two though, as does the middle rope elbow. Bret keeps limping and hits the Hart Attack clothesline for a delayed two.

The belly to belly puts Bret down but Yoko won’t cover for no apparent reason. Instead he loads up the Banzai Drop, only to fall victim to the powers of gravity. It knocks the wind out of the monster, allowing Hart to hook the leg for the pin and the title as the roof is blown off of Madison Square Garden for about the fifth time tonight.

Rating: B-. While it isn’t a classic, the fans were WAY into this and it’s a feel good moment to end the show. Bret was fighting a very different kind of match here rather than he did the previous year, as here he was taking it straight to Yoko instead of sticking and moving. Very solid match here all things considered and a great way to get the giant out of the title scene.

The locker room empties out to celebrate with Bret but Owen stands in the aisle and stares down his brother to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the bad stuff is bad, but on the other hand the good stuff is absolutely outstanding. With two of the best matches of all time on one show it’s easily one of if not the strongest Wrestlemanias from an in ring perspective. On top of that, the show had long lasting impact as the company focus shifted to the smaller sized guys and longer matches. This was an excellent show but some of the bad stuff can be fast forwarded.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-

Redo: D

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F

Redo: F+

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F

Redo: D+

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A-

I was a bit too nice to the middle part of the show last time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/17/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-10-maybe-the-best-mania-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 10
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir

This show is ALL backstory so get used to that word. Yokozuna had won the title back from Hogan at the first King of the Ring PPV after a Japanese photographer’s camera blew up in Hogan’s face. Hogan left the WWF and wasn’t seen there again for almost 9 years.

On the 4th of July in the previous year, Yokozuna held a huge thing on a US ship, challenging anyone to bodyslam him. There were a ton of people showing up to do it but no one could. Finally a helicopter landed on the ship and out walks the former heel Lex Luger.

He nails Yoko with the forearm and kind of slammed him, although you could argue it was a hiptoss. This launched Luger into one of the biggest face pushes of all time, resulting in his title shot at Summerslam. Luger knocked Yoko unconscious but he knocked him out of the ring as well.

Luger wanted another title shot but was told he would have to win the Rumble to get it. Bret Hart also wanted his rematch at Mania but was told HE had to win the Rumble. Low and behold they’re the final two. They go out at the same time, and we have a tie. The WWF President Jack Tunney decrees that there will be a coin toss deciding who gets the match first.

The loser will have to have a match before getting their title shot and no matter what, whoever comes out of the first match with the title would have to face the loser of the title match. If Bret lost the toss he would have to face Owen and if Lex lost he would have to face Crush. Lex wins the toss so Bret would be the one to close out Mania. I hope that made sense.

This Mania was a new beginning for the company as there was no more Hulk Hogan to carry the load. With him gone, it was time for the young guns to step up and take over. Following last year’s awful Mania, something big had to happen here and it went about as well as it could have given the ridiculous story that I just listed off to you.

There was also a thing called a ladder match that I’m sure will bomb completely. Anyway, after Little Richard rocks the house, it’s time for what is still likely the best opening contest of all time. Also our own NSL was in attendance.

We open with a highlight reel of the first Mania which really is a cool thing. The first one was absolutely amazing from a mainstream perspective.

We recap Bret vs. Owen. Bret had been feuding with HBK all of the previous year which resulted in a Survivor Series match between Shawn’s team and Bret’s team of him and his three brothers. Owen was accidentally knocked off the apron and into the railing leading to his elimination.

Later Bret attempted to help his brother get his first title by teaming with him to go for the tag titles. Bret was injured during the match and it wound up costing them the match. After the match, Owen kicked Bret’s leg out from under him, fully turning heel. This was the showdown that had been building for awhile.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Ok so this is considered the best opener ever, so let’s see if it’s still that good. Remember Bret has to be in the main event later tonight against the winner of Lex vs. Yoko for the title. There’s the bell and it’s game on. It’s MSG so the entrance is behind the ring rather than off to either side. Owen keeps celebrating every tiny victory which is funny stuff.

Naturally it’s a technical style to start which is exactly what you would expect it to be. A little leverage sends Owen to the floor so Owen slaps him in the face. Almost all Bret to start as Owen can’t get much going but it’s being destroyed at all. Rollup gets two for Bret and it’s to the mat with Owen. Bret speeds it up again and sends Owen to the floor where he’s very frustrated.

Now it’s Bret with a slap and a rollup for two again. Crucifix gets two and to my shock and awe, Lawler says Bret is the better wrestler. You’ll likely never hear that again. There’s that spinwheel kick and Owen takes over for real for the first time in the match. Bret’s back meets post on the floor and Owen SCREAMS at him. Camel clutch goes on and Owen yells some more as you have to wonder how legit that is.

Belly to belly puts Bret down for two. Of course it’s only two. It’s not like Owen could ever beat him or something. Give me a break. Owen tries to suplex Bret back in but Bret reverses but Owen reverses that into a BIG German for a long two. Bret grabs a small package for two as Owen continues his dominance. Owen gets a Tombstone out of nowhere and Bret is in trouble.

No cover though as Owen goes up for a splash which hits. Too bad it hit the canvas and not Bret, but it did indeed hit something. Russian Leg Sweep gets two for Bret. The middle rope elbow gets the same. Owen gets an enziguri “out of nowhere” and goes for the Sharpshooter. Bret reverses into an attempt of his own but can’t get that either.

Bret with a Pescado but hurts his knee and amazingly enough isn’t goldbricking. Owen goes after it and Vince is surprised for some reason. That reason would be that Vince from this era is a very stupid man. The leg goes around the post and Bret is in trouble. Owen’s mocking of Bret is great as for him it’s personal. Well granted it has to be personal as it’s between two people but you get the idea.

The blonde Hart gets a leg lock which gets two as Bret’s shoulders are down. Lawler points out that it would be smart for Bret to give up so he has a better chance in the title match later. That’s actually very true. Figure Four by Owen and WOO Bret is in trouble. Bret rolls out but Owen grabs a rope as we keep going. Bret comes back with an enziguri as for once Vince’s WHAT A MATCHUP isn’t overkill.

Owen’s selling is awesome as every time he gets hit he stays in one place like he’s been shot. Bret gets a Piledriver to probably tick off Jerry a bit. A superplex gets two as Bret can’t finish him. A sleeper from Bret is countered by a low blow as Owen takes over again. Owen gets the Sharpshooter as Bret is in trouble again after the back and knee work from earlier. Ladies and gentlemen, PSYCHOLOGY! Oh how I love it.

Bret counters into his own but Owen is right in front of the ropes so it’s not like it means anything. Bret finally starts throwing punches but they’re to the ribs which Vince makes sure to point out. Owen reverses a whip-in but Bret gets his feet up. Bret goes for a Victory Roll but Owen rolls into it and gets a rollup for the pin to silence the entire arena. Awesome finish to an awesome match.

Rating: A+. This match had been viewed as one of the best matches of all time and it holds up today. The psychology here is off the charts here as both wanted the submission but Owen goes for the pinfall and uses Bret’s own wrestling technique against him.

The best thing about this match is simple though: Owen pinned him perfectly clean. The better man won and that’s what makes the match so much better and one of the best ever. This was proof that a match could work on basic wrestling and the buildup for it. Classic all the way.

We get a post match promo in the back from Owen talking about how great his victory was and everything he says is absolutely right. He even gives credit to Bret for putting on such a great match. Love this promo. Excellent start to the show so far.

WM Moment: WM 2 Battle Royal.

The president of the hair club for men has a toupee for the Fink. Humorous if nothing else. Is there any reason why some dude named Bill Dunn is doing the announcing here and not the Fink?

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink/Dink

This is what gets to follow that opener. These guys feuded forever for no apparent reason and no one cared. This has the distinct look of a comedy match here and I don’t it’s going to end well. Thankfully Howard does the announcing here. Doink is played by some dude from Puerto Rico here I believe.

Bigelow jumps the big clown and we’re off. A dropkick puts him down and hopefully this is dominance. Vince’s overall conclusion about Lawler: he’s not a nice person. Off to Dink and Luna as I search for a reason to have this at Wrestlemania. Get on with this already.

Luna misses a top rope splash and it’s back off to the big guys. You know, the future pyromaniac and the full grown wrestling clown. This is after a classic match and before one of the best gimmick matches of all time. And we get to the “comedy”, and I use that term loosely, of the match. Bigelow sits on a sunset flip attempt and the beating is on. After some time is wasted, a top rope headbutt ends Doink finally.

Rating: F. This was a complete waste of time. Thankfully this is the end of the feud and it was never mentioned again. Bigelow went from potential IC Champion to this in six years. There’s your explanation as to what a knee injury can do for you. Get on to something else.

Post match Luna and Dink do a stupid segment that just extends this longer with nothing coming from it.

There’s a Bill Clinton impersonator here for some reason.

WM Moment: Attendance record at WM 3.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

No backstory here but that’s what I’m here for. Crush had challenged Yokozuna for the WWF title and got beaten pretty badly. Yoko hit some banzai drops on him and put him out of action. Savage came in at the very end to help Crush, after he got hurt. Savage was about to be reinstated as a wrestler when he and Crush got into a fight at ringside. Savage was suspended from commentating but came out of retirement to wrestle. They had been feuding since November but this was their big match.

Savage is a full blown legend at this point, along the lines of what HBK is at this point. Needless to say, he was mad over in this match. The rules here are you get a pinfall but then the person has sixty seconds to get back into the ring. Therefore you could get a ton of pinfalls in this. Savage charges at him in the aisle and the fight is on.

Crush gets Snake Eyes on the railing and the first pin is in less than a minute. Fuji blasts him with the flag and Savage makes it back in with seconds to spare. Crush is dominating and gets him in the Tree of Woe. Fuji hands him some salt but Savage is like boy I wrestled in Memphis and throws it back in Crush’s face. That and a slam sets up the elbow but no cover. Oh ok he throws him to the floor and THEN gets the pin. That was smart.

Fuji has to grab some water to throw on Crush to kep the match going which is kind of funny. They hit the floor for awhile and it’s all Savage for the most part here. Savage reverses a backdrop in the aisle and we head to the back. Savage slams him on the concrete and then in an incredibly creative finish, Savage uses a rope and ties Crush upside down from a scaffold to get the guaranteed win. Awesome ending to a fun match and also the extent of Savage meaning anything as a WWF wrestler.

Rating: C+. This match was a real grudge match and you could see the emotions coming out. This was the precursor to what would become hardcore and the last man standing match. The falls having to be outside of the ring was just a bad idea though and holds it back. Savage as the legend is something that really works well for him. I’ve always liked this match for some reason, partially because Savage was still awesome at this point and was clearly having fun out there.

Todd talks to the fake Clinton again. It’s pointless. To be fair though, he’s a pro imitator and it’s made to look legit so this is a huge improvement over what we usually get. IRS is there with him and congratulates him for raising the taxes. I’ll spare you a long rant on that one.

We recap fan fest which is the precursor to Axxess.

Savage goes into the crowd to celebrate as we see another WM moment with Savage winning the belt.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

For some reason, Kai’s music here is the same that Harley Race came to the ring to during Flair’s retirement ceremony last year. Very odd indeed as there’s absolutely no connection between the two that I know of. Kai was the Women’s Champion going into the first Mania, 9 years before this. She was the best option they had? Seriously?

Blayze is more common known as Madusa in WCW. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for the champion. This isn’t going to be anything special at all is it? Another sunset flip is the high point of it so far. The crowd is DEAD. A slam gets two as I think you can get what’s going on here. All Blayze does is leverage stuff although I’d bet a lot of this ending with a German suplex. This needs to end badly and the German finally does it. Moolah, Mae and Nikolai Volkoff are sitting together for some reason.

Rating: D-. The match itself isn’t bad, but this is at Wrestlemania and it’s clear that this match was thrown onto the card. There’s no story, no build, no time given to it, and no one cares. Blazye was solid, and in case you can’t place here she’s far more famous as Madusa in WCW. The problem she had though was there was no competition for her anywhere at all. She was the woman that dropped the Women’s Title in the trash on Nitro which allegedly triggered Montreal.

WM moment: Roddy sprays Morton Downey Jr. at WM 5. Funny actually.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. The Quebecers

Zero transition between the previous moment and this. Oh my I had forgotten about M.O.M. This very well may be the worst gimmick of all time. The idea behind the team was that they would help young kids improve their lives in the inner cities by preaching positive values to them.

Of course there’s one thing they need to get over. What’s the one thing that every young kid is into? What does everybody love? No not head you sick freaks. Get your minds out of the gutters. They love RAP of course. Therefore, the team had a rapping manager named Oscar.

The team was therefore Mabel (more commonly known as Viscera or Big Daddy V), Oscar, (more commonly known as annoying) and Mo (more commonly known as Felix, the bum that washes your windows in exchange for a non-urine soaked blanket and a bag of Funions). Mabel, Oscar, Mo. M.O.M.

Now after that description, what’s coming next is absolute proof that Satan himself is a wrestling fan: THEY GOT OVER. Yes, somehow this team was wildly popular to the point that they were regular tag title contenders, even winning the belts at a house show literally by mistake. Mabel fell on one of the Quebecers and he couldn’t kick out in time because of the weight.

Anyway, this is for the tag titles so let’s get it over with. It’s a basic formula for MOM: Mo does all the work until Mabel comes in to clean house. For some reason that no one knows, we cut to the back for an interview with some annoying blonde tv show host? Before she can talk though, HBK interrupts for some reason but the girl doesn’t mind.

They pose for a picture until Burt Reynolds interrupts. He says Shawn should shave his chest before Shawn leaves. Can someone pick Bex up off the floor? Apparently the girl’s show is called Up All Night and Burt makes a joke saying she keeps him up all night and they both wish there was something they could do about that as the dirty jokes of Mania continue their hallowed tradition.

We go back to the arena after that totally random moment for the Quebecers entrance. They’re accompanied by Johnny Polo, a.k.a. Raven in a gimmick that astounds me to this day. Considering what he would become in less than two years, to be Polo here is amazing.

Oh I forgot to mention: MOM’s outfits are shiny purple and gold with the writing on Mabel’s chest saying whomp there it is. Let’s get this over with. The champions jump the apparent Laker fans and double team Mabel. Mo gets a cross body on Pierre and a big old legdrop from Mabel to the back of Pierre’s head nearly kills him.

The Quebecers do a sneaky switch and Mo, of course, is in trouble. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Mo for two. I want this to end very soon. Mo hits the ropes and kind of rolls forward to take down Pierre. False tag to Mabel sets up a missed guillotine legdrop and the tag to Mabel to ZERO reaction.

Mabel misses a charge into what must be a hard buckle as it somehow gets through the layer of flab known as Mabel’s gut. On their second attempt the Quebecers actually get a suplex on the fat one. A Cannonball gets two on Mabel as this is DRAGGING. Mabel hits his spin kick and the double splash from him and Mo for no count. After another double splash the champions take a walk for the countout. Well at least it’s over.

Rating: F. This was dull stuff and the ending was completely awful. Mabel was so fat that he fell on a Quebecer at a house show and it was enough to accidentally switch the titles. Mo was totally worthless to the point that Mabel was the better one. What does that tell you?

Another Mania moment is the Ultimate Challenge from Mania 6 which is awesome.

We bring in the celebrities which are a bit weak this year. Some chick from USA and some actor named Donny Wahlberg are here. OH! That isn’t a TV station they’re saying. It’s NKOTB: New Kids on the Block. WOW this is even worse than I thought it was.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Here we have the first of two WWF Title matches tonight. Due to Lex Luger winning the coin toss he gets the first crack here. The winner of this match faces Bret Hart in the main event, which is stupid as Bret already lost but that’s logic and therefore doesn’t belong in wrestling. This is a rematch from Summerslam and the theory is that Luger has Yoko’s number.

First though we have a guest referee: Mr. Perfect, who hadn’t been seen in forever. This Donny dude isn’t a bad announcer actually. The fans chant USA almost immediately. Perfect is in a referee shirt and matching pants, making it look like he’s in pajamas. Manly pajamas mind you but still pajamas. They stare it down in the middle and Luger hammers away.

Clothesline hits but Yoko doesn’t move. Yoko hits one of his own and Luger certainly does move. To the floor and Yoko eats steps so we go back into the ring. This isn’t looking good early on. Luger goes aerial and gets a cross body for two. Lex goes for a slam but can’t get the fatness up again so Yoko gets going again. Granted he didn’t get going in the first place but it sounds better that way I guess.

Yoko tries to get the buckle off a corner but Lex stops him with punches. We hit a nerve hold which is a nice way to say Yoko is tired and needs to lean on someone to rest for awhile. Two minutes have passed and nothing has changed. Literally, ALL nerve hold for that stretch. It’s broken up, Luger fights him off, gets knocked down again and we hit the nerve hold again. We’re seven minutes into this match and over half has been nerve holding.

Luger is sent to the floor and Fuji trips him which is somehow the most interesting thing we’ve had going on so far. Oh look: MORE NERVE HOLDING! I get that Yoko isn’t able to move that well and needs to conserve energy for later, but maybe, just maybe, THAT MEANS THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! Luger gets some clotheslines and slams Yoko before the forearm hits.

Cornette and Fuji are brought into the ring which gets them nowhere. Luger covers Yoko who is out cold but Perfect won’t count due to the loaded arm. It’s a heel move but it’s perfectly legal which is my favorite kind. Perfect won’t count, Luger isn’t happy because he thinks Perfect has better hair, Luger shoves him and it’s a DQ. At least it’s over.

Rating: F. Sweet merciful crap this was dull. Luger’s offense consisted of various clotheslines and punches. Aside from that there was probably 1/3 nerve hold. The fans have one of the loudest BULL chants I’ve ever heard. This was an awful match to put it mildly and the ending kills it even worse. Just awful all around.

While it’s a ridiculous finish, allegedly it was Lex’s own fault. There’s a fairly popular theory in wrestling that Luger was supposed to leave WM with the title but went out to a bar and got drunk before telling a bunch of the people that he was going to win it. WWF found out and changed the plans, leading to this finish. Whether that’s true or not, I wouldn’t be surprised. Luger’s push was monumental at this point and him getting the title would have made sense.

Luger screams at Perfect in the back over what happened.

WM moment: from WM 7, the awful blindfolded match. Even Vince says “yet another WM moment” as he’s getting sick of them too.

Harvey Whipleman and the Fink get into an argument. Adam Bomb runs out to protect Harvey from the horrible terror that is the Fink and his slaps of death. Earthquake runs out for this.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Seriously? Quake still had a job in 19 freaking 94??? This is literally three moves long. Belly to belly, powerslam, Earthquake, pinfall. What in the world was the point of this? No rating of course.
Jim Cornette cuts another of his great fast talking promos that so many people should study. Really, this guy is gold. You can just hear the passion flowing out of him whenever he speaks.

Another Mania Moment is Taker appearing at Mania 8. There was nothing to it and I have no clue why this was listed here.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

No backstory again, so here I am to save the day! The idea here is Shawn was the IC Champion but was fired/released from the company for testing positive for steroids. He was the IC Champion at the time and was stripped for not defending it often enough. However he was rehired a few months later and still had the title belt. He said he was the real IC Champion, despite Razor Ramon having won it in his absence. The solution: this match. Put both belts above the ring and the first person to go get them wins both.

The announcer says there are no rules in this match, then lists off how you win. That sounds like a set of rules to me. Dang if you can’t trust wrestling what can you trust? I can’t really overstate the importance of this one enough as it made both guys’ careers and changed wrestling forever, as now instead of being about power and muscle guys, younger and more athletic guys were stealing the show with high flying and innovative stuff. Huge stuff to say the least.

Also for a bit of known trivia, Shawn vs. Bret was the first ladder match nearly two years before this. Razor stares at Diesel as we get going. Shawn tries to move around and use his speed so Razor grabs him by the throat and hits a chokeslam. The cameraman runs into the referee on the floor as it’s been far too long since I watched this match.

Diesel hits a clothesline to Razor on the floor and is thrown out almost immediately. NOW we get to the good stuff. Razor hits a HUGE clothesline to send Shawn to the floor as this is incredibly hard hitting already. Razor peels back some mats on the floor but the fight goes back to the ring. Shawn backdrops his way out of the Razor’s Edge and Razor crashes onto the concrete.

IT’S LADDER TIME as this is about to get awesome. Shawn gets the baseball slide into the ladder into Razor’s ribs and the Bad Guy is in trouble now. The ladder is fully in the ring now and Shawn begins his dominance. The ribs take a big old pounding now as Shawn literally drops the ladder on his back.

Shawn goes up but Razor grabs a foot. Oh great it’s Shawn’s back again. And do we really need to zoom in on it? We get the famous spot of the match as Shawn jumps off the ladder with a splash onto Razor which has aired in about 1000 highlight reels. Shawn goes up again but Razor shoves the ladder over, sending Shawn into the ropes to put both guys down.

We get the always cool Wile E. Coyote shot from above which is cool to see as Razor looks a bit dead. Shawn goes into the ladder in the corner and crashes to the floor. So far all of the big bumps involving the ladder have been done by Shawn as the biggest Razor has done was being thrown over the top before the ladder came into play.

Slingshot into the ladder and Shawn hangs on so it falls backwards and crushes him against the floor. Razor is alone in the ring now with the ladder and goes up but Shawn dives in off the top for the last second save. Both guys climb and the slug out is on. Razor slams him off the ladder and takes a rather slow fall down onto the ropes to the point where he doesn’t actually hit the ground.

Shawn dropkicks him off the ladder and Razor takes a decent enough bump this time. Razor is still down so Shawn just shoves the ladder on top of him. Why mess with the simple stuff? Big Piledriver to Razor has his down for a good while now. Shawn gets in another famous spot as he rides the ladder down onto Razor and both guys are in pain again.

And alas it has to end as Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor which doesn’t really do much. Razor gets up, shoves the ladder and along with it Shawn over. His leg gets caught in the ropes and Razor climbs unhindered to the top to become the undisputed Intercontinental Champion. Shawn did the majority of the bumping here but the idea of Shawn doing everything in this is absurd.

Rating: A+. The best gimmick match of all time at that point by a long shot. This is one of the handful of WWF matches give five stars by Meltzer and for once I agree with him. These two beat the tar out of each other and it still more than holds up over fifteen years later. This is what made Shawn and Razor, which is rare to see for two guys.

There was a scheduled ten man tag scheduled that had to be cut for time reasons. It was held on Raw a few weeks later. Nothing special.

DiBiase tries to buy the President who brushes him off.

We get a pretty sweet video package on Bret, further cementing his title win tonight. A similar package airs on Yoko but it’s far worse, and it leads us to the main event.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

This is the first time ever that we get a rematch in the main event of Mania. A bunch of mid 90s celebrities introduce themselves and maybe 10 people care. Seriously, this NEVER works as they’re outdated in two years 99% of the time. However, the guest referee is introduced: HOT ROD HIMSELF, Rowdy Roddy Piper! Holy goodness, this makes absolutely no sense but who cares??? Burt Reynolds is the drunk ring announcer for the evening.

Yoko is out first, as if Bret needed anymore guarantees that he’ll be winning here. This is a year after their first match and Bret has come a LONG way since then and here it actually seems that he’s got a chance to pull it off. If you watch WM 9’s main event and then this one back to back, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. A very subtle difference also is Bret’s music. Last year he was using the Hart Foundation’s old music, whereas this time it’s his own song.

This match also truly feels like a main event. You really get the feeling that this is truly it. The more I see the finish the more I like it. Oh yeah we have an actual match here.

Yokozuna jumps Bret to start as Bret’s knee is still messed up from earlier in the night which is the kind of continuity you rarely get anymore. Yoko misses what can only be described as a running Frog Splash and both guys are down. Piper counts a bit fast for my taste. Bret gets a headbutt and hurts himself.

Down goes Yoko off a solid shot as the crowd is clearly pretty tired. Bret knocks him back down with just strikes which isn’t considered a huge deal this year. Huge difference there which helps a lot. Piper drills Cornette for interfering. Legdrop hits Bret and he’s in big trouble. He fights back and gets a bulldog for a long two. You can’t blame Piper as he DOVE to get the hand down.

Bret gets up and limps ever so slightly. NICE. A clothesline puts Yoko down for two again. Bret comes off the middle rope and jumps into a belly to belly and the Canadian is in trouble. Yoko takes him to the corner to set up the Banzai Drop but he literally slips and falls off the ropes and Bret climbs on for the pin to get the title back. It sounds corny but this surprisingly worked.

Rating: C+. The main reason this match is miles ahead of last year’s is it gets a little more time. With Yoko you can’t go much longer than 15 minutes as he gets tired as well as he starts to run out of moves that he can use. This match clocks in at about 11 minutes, which doesn’t sound like much when compared to the nine and a half that it got the year before, but the time really does help.

There’s far less of the match dedicated to Bret trying to find a way around Yoko’s size and he just goes for it from bell to bell and it’s a huge improvement. He comes off as a challenger and not an underdog the entire time which helps it out a lot. Rather than having Bret doing whatever he can to survive, Bret looks like a guy looking for a way to win, which is a subtle but key difference. FAR better than last year.

Luger comes down to congratulate him as the locker room empties for the big celebration. Owen won’t get in there though and we have the feud for the rest of the year.

Overall Rating: A. You have a 9 match card with two all time classics and do I really need to go on? This show is all about that and the rest is just kind of there, but all the bad stuff is pretty short. When you have two A+ matches on one show, it’s kind of hard to say it’s anything but great. The one criticism I have: why wasn’t Luger vs. Bret the main event? Either way, this was a great show as it feels epic on all levels and it comes off that way too. Definitely worth seeing.

 

 

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Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is one of the weakest cards the series has ever seen. Nothing on the show feels important with the main event of Bret Hart defending the WWF World Title against Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna feeling lukewarm at best. The second biggest match is Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake challenging Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles. Like I said: not the strongest card. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is the host this year, meaning he’ll be on screen for less than five minutes. Like everyone else, Monsoon is in a toga because it’s a toga party. I’m still not sure who thought this was a good idea.

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Shawn is defending after winning the title in November and has Luna Vachon, a rather scary woman with several tattoos on her face, trailing behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated and Sherri follows him out but it’s not clear if they’re associated. Heenan: “She’s here to beg Shawn Michaels to take her back!” Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” Shawn goes for the leg to start but Tatanka kicks him away a few times as Heenan recaps the history here, roughly three minutes after JR did so.

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Off to an armbar from Tatanka as Shawn apparently came into this with a bad shoulder. Back up and Shawn tries a clothesline but hurts his own arm in the process and it’s right back to the armbar. A charge sends Shawn’s shoulder into the post again and we hit the third armbar in a row. There’s a shoulder breaker but Tatanka doesn’t know how to follow up (Savage: “I would have covered him right there!”) so he goes to the top and dives into a superkick (still not a finish).

Shawn throws him to the floor and hits a great looking clothesline from the apron. It’s time to focus on the women for a bit with Shawn yelling at Sherri, only to turn around and get two off a swinging neckbreaker. Things settle down with a chinlock before Shawn starts firing off left hands as the arm is suddenly fine. Shawn tries a bad looking victory roll for two before going up top again for another victory roll which is countered into an electric chair (they just repeated the spot which always exposes too much).

Tatanka goes on the warpath (his version of Hulking Up) and starts the chops, followed by a catapult into the post as Shawn is now channeling Mr. Perfect. Shawn dives into a powerslam for two and they roll to the floor as the fans chant for Sherri. Heenan doesn’t understand why they’re doing that but his questioning gets cut off as Shawn pulls the referee to the floor. The Papoose To Go (fall away slam) knocks Shawn silly but he’s been disqualified at 18:08.

Rating: B. That’s a very frustrating ending but it makes sense as they wanted to keep the title on Shawn but didn’t want to end Tatanka’s undefeated streak, leaving them with few alternatives. Still though, this was one heck of a match though a bit longer than it needed to be. The shoulder stopped being a thing about halfway through, even though Shawn stopped selling as he was known to do. Tatanka just didn’t have anything past the basics but the fans got behind him due to his charisma, which is all you need most of the time.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Recent arrivals the Steiner Brothers say this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s going to be one to be remembered and they’ll make Julius Caesar proud.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Things settle down as JR breaks some news about Luna attacking Sherri in the first aid station. Heenan won’t go back to check for an update because the camel is back there. Heenan: “Luna probably worked over the camel too.” Samu’s head cracks off the post and Scott dropkicks Fatu for good measure. Back up and Samu tries a hot shot but drops Scott face first over the top in a sick looking landing.

The Headshrinkers’ manager Afa CRACKS Scott in the back with his staff to keep him in trouble. Fatu’s middle rope headbutt gets two and Scott is almost out of it. The bad beating continues as Fatu sends him into the post, FINALLY drawing Rick over to check on his brother. Back in and Scott makes the eternal mistake of hitting a Samoan in the head, earning him a superkick. Yeah there’s really no defending that. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head.

Samu comes in and rakes the eyes as JR tries to call the match while Heenan argues with Savage. The fans chant for the Steiners as something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two on Scott. Back up and it’s a double clothesline as the announcers argue over what states border Oklahoma. Samu misses a headbutt and Scott finally tags off to Rick for some house cleaning and Samoan suplexing.

JR calls him Dog Face (short for Dog Face Gremlin, Rick’s nickname. That brings up a good sign for Ross. Back in 1993, not everyone would watch both companies, meaning some fans might not realize that JR has called Steiner Brothers matches before. On his first match he knows Rick’s nickname, making him look like he’s done his homework) as he beats up both Headshrinkers but a double headbutt drops Rick with ease.

A double Stroke of all things sets up what looks to be a Doomsday Device but Rick belly to bellys Fatu out of the air for an INSANE counter. I’ve never seen that before or since and it still looked great. Scott tags himself in but eats another superkick, only to come back with a bad Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: A-. I like this match more every time I watch it as they were beating the fire out of each other here with some of the stiffest shots you’ll find. The Steiners always worked stiff and the Headshrinkers could go step for step with them. Some of the spots here were amazing with that suplex from the shoulders being a major highlight. Awesome, hard hitting match here which never broke down into a brawl.

Call the Hotline!

Doink the Clown (very evil) has desecrated a bust of Julius Caesar but calls it art. We see Doink attacking Crush with a false arm (with Vince shouting that he took his own arm out of the socket until Savage point out that it’s obviously a cast to shut him up) to set up their match tonight. Doink thinks Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

The Clown makes the eternal mistake of going up top and jumping straight down feet first, allowing Crush to raise a boot and take over again. Crush clotheslines him to the floor and Doink tries to hide under the ring. Amazingly enough a clown isn’t very good at keeping out of sight. Crush drags him back inside but the referee gets bumped.

It’s time for the head vice (Crush’s finisher where he squeezes his opponent’s head like a vice, making it a very appropriate name) but a second Doink pops up with the arm cast to knock Crush silly. The second Doink hides under the ring and the referee wakes up just in time to count the pin on Crush at 8:27.

Rating: D. And the really good match streak ends at two. This was a bizarre choice for a story as Crush would seem to be ready for a big push but he loses to Doink at Wrestlemania. Now to be fair, Doink is a very interesting character when he’s still all evil. Once he turned face as he was destined to do, there was no way he could be anything more than a joke. There’s certainly something interesting about an evil clown (see the Joker) but unfortunately that wasn’t going to last in 1993.

Another referee comes out and looks under the ring but can’t find anyone.

Some Japanese photographers don’t know about Doink but love Yokozuna.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

As the match goes on, Savage casually brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today. So this information has been known all day and it’s just NOW being brought up, an hour into the show? Backlund forearms him down and hooks a nice butterfly suplex, followed by an atomic drop, a high spot for him back in the day. Back up and Bob tries a slam, only to get small packaged for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. I guess they haven’t gotten all the filler matches out of their system yet. This was a decent way to showcase Razor but it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Backlund was quite the return story but that’s the best they can do to make Razor look like a big star?

Ad for King of the Ring.

Money Inc. isn’t worried about the Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake with Jimmy Hart, who jumped to yet another team) after crushing Beefcake’s face with their metal briefcase. Hogan has threatened to bankrupt Money Inc. but how do you bankrupt a company with an unlimited credit line? I.R.S. promises to make Beefcake’s face look like a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

I.R.S. and Beefcake get things going but the champs are quickly double teaming. DiBiase tries an ax handle to the metal mask and hurts his hand as you would expect. Some rams into the buckle have no effect either. Come on Ted you’re smarter than this. Now we get the tag to Hogan for his first match in a year. He hammers down right hands in the corner, despite having FAR smaller muscles than he did the last time we saw him.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

DiBiase gets in a cheap shot to take over on Hulk, allowing I.R.S. to choke with a tag rope. More choking ensues until we hit the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan seems moderately annoyed by it instead of in any kind of trouble. It’s basically a chinlock with the arm trapped but Savage takes the attention off of it with this gem: “They’re hanging from the rafters……if they had rafters……but I’ll tell you what they have columns and they’re hanging from them!”

Beefcake comes in with his own sleeper to DiBiase for the save as Hogan is actually out from the hold. That’s certainly a new one. Hogan gets up at about nine and the hot tag brings in Beefcake. Well hot is a stretch as the fans don’t seem to care but it’s been a pretty dull match so far. Beefcake cleans house until DiBiase hits him in the back with the metal briefcase.

DiBiase gets smart by taking off Brutus’ mask so Heenan makes face off jokes. A double clothesline puts the champs down but Beefcake puts I.R.S. in the sleeper instead of tagging. DiBiase makes a quick save but the referee gets bumped. The tag brings in Hogan but there’s no one to see it. Hulk comes in anyway and hits both guys with the mask. Jimmy Hart tries to wake up the referee but when that doesn’t work, he turns his jacket inside out to reveal referee stripes and counts the pin to end the match at 18:43.

Rating: D. This was much more long than anything else and the whole thing got stupid at the end. Hogan was WAY past his expiration date at this point and it was pretty clear based on this match. Beefcake wouldn’t wrestle for the company again but naturally Hogan brought him in for the main event of WCW’s biggest show the next year.

Hogan and Beefcake hold up the titles, making them the only two people in the arena stupid enough to think that counts. Another referee comes out and says not quite as Money Inc. wins by DQ. Ever the good losers, Hogan poses to limited cheering but then cracks open the briefcase and gives away the money inside (along with a brick. Why you would need a brick when you have a METAL BRIEFCASE?). So now he’s stealing in addition to looking like a moron with that ending. Hogan is a four time WWF World Champion and now he thinks his manager counting a pin is supposed to change a title? What a hero: a cheating moron.

Singer Natalie Cole gets a nothing interview to say she’s having fun. The CEO of the casino is happy with everything that’s going on.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger being a knockout artist with that forearm (which contains a steel plate). He’s been on a roll this week with a hole in one playing golf and he’s been hot at the tables so let’s make it one more win tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Back in and Luger sends him into the buckle but Perfect just kind of staggers around. After that awkward selling, Perfect starts going after the knee and slaps on a spinning toehold. Back up and Perfect’s bad back is sent hard into the buckle as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backbreaker keeps Perfect in trouble and Luger rolls him up in the corner for two but gets caught with his feet on the ropes.

Perfect comes back with a sleeper but gets driven back first into the buckle. At least Luger is focusing on a body part and sticking with it. Perfect finally tries his own worst enemy and catapults Luger into the buckle. It doesn’t quite work the same but maybe the idea scared him. A missile dropkick gets two on Luger but he counters a backslide and shoves Perfect’s feet into the ropes for the surprise pin at 10:56.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This really didn’t work as neither guy could get anything going. Perfect was in a weird place here as he was still talented but didn’t really have a character. Luger was just that forearm but would somehow wind up being the co-top hero in the company in just a few months. It didn’t work for either guy here though and the match was pretty boring.

Luger knocks Perfect out and walks off. Perfect slowly gets up and goes after him but gets jumped by Shawn Michaels to start their summer long feud. This triggers a big argument between Savage and Heenan with Macho Man getting up and pointing his finger in Heenan’s face. Believe it or not, Heenan actually doesn’t run away.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a 7’8 monster (wearing a full body skin colored spandex suit with muscles drawn on and fur at the shoulders) who was brought in by Harvey Wippleman to replace Kamala, who Undertaker dispatched to end 1992. This is the same story that would be used about thirteen years later when Undertaker feuded with Daivari’s lineup of monsters.

Undertaker comes out in a funeral chariot complete with a vulture for his first cool Wrestlemania entrance. Undertaker, a legitimate 6’10, comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some big forearms have little effect but Gonzalez is nice enough to sell an uppercut that clearly missed.

A low blow doesn’t have much effect on Undertaker so he comes back with Old School. Undertaker gets thrown around and we hit a standing chinlock. Gonzalez gets bored and throws Undertaker to the floor and then into the steps. The power of the urn gets Undertaker back to his feet and inside but Gonzalez headbutts him right back down. Some awkward strikes stagger the Giant and he goes down to one knee so Harvey throws in a towel with chloroform to knock Undertaker out but it’s an obvious DQ at 7:34.

Rating: F. This was awful and maybe Undertaker’s worst Wrestlemania match ever. Gonzalez was just terrible and made everyone else look bad too because no one could do anything with someone so big and awkward. On top of that, the ending sets up a rematch instead of just ending this lame feud once and for all here like they should have.

Undertaker is stretchered out and Gonzalez lumbers around the ring. Eventually Undertaker’s music plays and he staggers to the ring to clean house.

Call the Hotline!

Gene, after talking about Heenan going to buy new underwear, shows us a clip of Yokozuna crushing Jim Duggan’s ribs. Yokozuna followed it up by winning the Royal Rumble and then crushing WWF World Champion Bret Hart’s ribs at the contract signing. Enough of that though as Gene brings in Hulk Hogan, who has been talking to Bret and assuring him that all the Hulkamaniacs are in his corner. Since he was attacked last night, Hogan wants Bret to make sure he’s watching everyone around him.

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Yokozuna tries to kick the champ while he’s down but Bret grabs the foot and ties him up in the ropes to get the big man down. Bret fires off more right hands and drops a middle rope elbow until the referee breaks Yokozuna free. The big man is up and slams Bret with ease before dropping a huge leg/various other parts on Bret’s face for no cover. The fans chant USA to support the Canadian so Yokozuna chokes him down before switching to a nerve hold.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

Rating: D+. They did what they could do here but the story of “Bret is going to get killed” is about as lame of a way to set up a title match as you can get. Bret was hammering away with everything he had but like Gonzalez (albeit a much better version), there’s only so much that could be done here, especially when you’re an average size guy like Hart. This could have been much worse but it still wasn’t much to see.

Hogan is here IMMEDIATELY after the match to plead Bret’s case. You know, like all the other times Bret and Hogan have been such great friends. Due to reasons of extreme overconfidence and stupidity, Fuji is willing to give Hogan a shot RIGHT NOW. Bret gives his blind blessing and we’re off.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji throws salt in Yokozuna’s face by mistake (with the referee just watching) and it’s a clothesline and the legdrop to give Hogan the pin and the title at 28 seconds.

Hogan celebrates as Bret is completely forgotten to end the show. That would be Hogan’s last singles match until early June because he took seven weeks off before coming back to do tag matches with Beefcake against Money Inc. But hey, it’s another title win.

Overall Rating: D. This is actually a tricky one to grade. The show only runs about two hours and forty five minutes and the first fifty minutes are excellent stuff with two good to very good opening matches. I can’t call a show with an opening third that solid a failure by any means so the show gets some big points there.

That being said, the rest of the show goes off a cliff with the best match being the main event, which really isn’t any good and clocks in as the shortest announced Wrestlemania main event in history. Couple that with Hogan sneaking in to take the title in an ending that wasn’t the most popular in the world and you don’t have a great title picture going forward.

The word picture is appropriate here as well as this show doesn’t look like a Wrestlemania is supposed to. Instead of the biggest show of the year, this felt like a random pay per view in the mid to late summer, which actually would have helped it a lot. The outside venue is cool but it feels like a fun show rather than something big and epic like the show at Madison Square Garden or the shows in big stadiums.

Overall this show has too many problems working against it. The atmosphere was a failed experiment but the card didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna was fine as a monster to be slayed but Hogan wasn’t the choice to do it, at least not two minutes after Yokozuna won the title at Wrestlemania. I’m supposed to be impressed that Hogan beat a tired Yokozuna and had to have salt in Yokozuna’s eyes to do it? That’s not a good end to any show but the fact that it was the end of Wrestlemania made it even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,981
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re into the Monday Night Raw era as things are definitely shifting to a new generation. The main event tonight is Bret Hart defending the title against the new monster known as Yokozuna. Other than that we’ve got Beefcake/Hogan challenging Money Inc. for the tag titles in a match that sounds odd when I type it for some reason. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is host this year, which means we need a new commentator. We’ll get to that in a bit, but first of all let’s acknowledge the theme of the show: the World’s Largest Toga Party. Yeah that’s not going to get stupid at all.

Jim Ross debuts on WWF TV for the first time ever in a surprise jump from the other company. Granted it was about a year or so since JR was last seen but it was still surprising.

Cesar and Cleopatra are introduced to the crowd.

Randy Savage comes out on a sedan with the vestal virgins. Bobby Heenan is brought out riding a camel backwards, which he claims was supposed to be the sedan. Funny bit here.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending of course and has the debuting Luna Vachon behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated here and would be so until much later in the year. Shawn’s former manager, Sensational Sherri, comes down the aisle to stare at Shawn and presumably be in Tatanka’s corner. Tatanka takes Shawn down a few times to start and they fight over arm control. Shawn comes back with a headlock and climbs the ropes to roll Tatanka down with it for two.

The champion tries it again but gets caught in a belly to back suplex for two this time instead. Shawn goes up again but dives into an armdrag as things pick up a bit. There’s a Flair Flip in the corner and a big chop puts Shawn on the floor. Sherri and Luna get in a staredown and Luna licks the ring post. More chops keep Michaels on the floor as the fans are getting into this.

Back in again and Shawn comes off the top with a semi-botched sunset flip for two but Tatanka comes right back with an atomic drop. A DDT puts Shawn down again and Tatanka works on Shawn’s apparently bad shoulder. Shawn tries a clothesline like an idiot and hurts his own arm again. We hit another armbar but Michaels fights up, only to charge shoulder first into the post.

Back to the armbar followed by a shoulder breaker for no cover by the challenger. A top rope chop to the shoulder has Shawn in even more trouble but a second attempt jumps into the superkick. Since it’s 1993 though that doesn’t end anything so Shawn sends Tatanka out to the floor. The girls get in another staredown but Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron to take Tatanka out again.

Instead of following up, Shawn yells at Sherri. Since he’s Shawn Michaels though, he still maintains control with a neckbreaker for two. A standing dropkick gets two for Shawn and it’s off to a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Shawn hits a modified victory roll out of the corner for two. The shoulder seems to be fine now. Tatanka counters another victory roll attempt into an electric chair to put both guys down. A very delayed cover gets two for the challenger and it’s time to go on the warpath.

Shawn gets caught in a cross body for two and a slingshot sends him face first into the post for two. The crowd is WAY into this match now. Tatanka’s Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) is countered into a rollup for two for Shawn but he walks into a powerslam for two. Shawn sends him out to the floor and the fans chant for Sherri. Michaels dives off the apron but slams his head into the steps, knocking himself silly and causing a countout win for the racial stereotype.

Rating: B. If Tatanks wins clean here, it’s a near classic. This was a VERY solid opener with the fans getting completely into the near falls. The shoulder injury being forgotten ten minutes into it hurt things though as I can’t stand a plot point being introduced and then left completely alone. Also Tatanka should have won but it still makes for a fine opener.

Luna lays out Sherri while Tatanka celebrates not winning the title.

The Steiners are ready for the Headshrinkers.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.

The Steiners are sent to the floor so they both climb to the top and hit a double Steiner Line to take both Samoans out to the floor. We settle down to Scott vs. Fatu again but it’s quickly off to Rick. Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri at the first aid station. Samu pounds on Rick in the corner and hits a running clothesline, only to be taken down by a running forearm/clothesline. Samu goes face first into the post to absolutely no effect, because he’s Samoan you see.

Back to Scott but Afa gets on the apron for a distraction. Scott charges into a hot shot to send him out to the floor in a NASTY looking bump. Afa cracks his staff over Scott’s back which looked great and sounded even greater. Things settle down a bit and Fatu hits a backbreaker and middle rope headbutt for two on Scott. A spinning kick to the face takes Scott down again but Samu charges into a boot in the corner.

Fatu blocks the hot tag by knocking Scott to the floor where he gets sent face first into the post. In a sweet sequence, Scott tries to ram Fatu’s head into the mat but Fatu pops up and superkicks Scott right back down. A modified Demolition Decapitatior gets two on Scott and let’s hit that nerve hold. Scott fights up and they collide as is common in tag matches. Heenan keeps ripping on JR and Oklahoma as Ross has almost no idea what to make of this kind of sarcasm. That says a lot when he used to work with Jim Cornette.

Back to Samu who goes up top, only to miss a top rope splash. The hot tag brings in Rick but a double headbutt immediately puts him back down. Here’s your awesome spot of the match: Rick gets loaded up in a Doomsday Device position but when Samu dives at him with a cross body, Rick catches him in mid air and powerslams/belly to belly suplexes him off Fatu’s shoulders and down. AWESOME looking move and they hit it perfectly. Scott hits a belly to belly on Fatu but Samu hits a superkick to take him right back down. Out of NOWHERE Scott hits the Frankensteiner for the pin. Nice bump from a guy that big.

Rating: B. I liked this one as much as I liked the opener which is saying a lot. This probably should have kicked the show off as the spots were hitting better and the fans were popping a lot louder, but I can get why they went with a title match. I’m a Headshrinkers fan so seeing them hold their own against one of the best teams ever is a very fun sight. Good match here and that powerslam was great.

Strap yourselves in now people, because it’s ALL downhill from here.

We cut to the back where Doink has desecrated a statue of Julius Caesar. This is when Doink is still the evil clown which had a ton of potential, but they of course had to make him kid friendly because that’s how wrestling works. The idea here is that Doink has been using evil pranks on Crush, including beating him with a prosthetic arm.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

This is during Crush-A-Mania when he was on the verge of getting the mega push to the stars which would never happen. Crush chases him around the ring to start and slams Doink on the floor before pounding Doink in the face a bit. Doink tries to punch back but Crush no sells everything. Back inside and Crush hits a neckbreaker for no cover. A neck snap over the top keeps Doink down as does a backbreaker. We’re three minutes in and it’s all Crush so far.

As Crush is hitting some Sheamus forearms on the apron, Doink hits a kind of Stunner on the top rope to take over. A few top rope forearms to the back of Crush’s head keeps us in clown control and a lame piledriver gets no cover. Doink actually slams him but goes up top and jumps into a boot to the jaw. A cross body attempt by the Clown doesn’t work as Crush hits a powerslam before clotheslining Doink to the floor.

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until Doink got in some not terrible offense. Again though, this was when Crush was about to get pushed to the moon, so he loses to Doink? The Clown character had a ton of potential, but instead of going with something interesting like the Joker, we got FUN Doink soon after this, because that’s interesting stuff right?

Japanese tourist jokes aren’t funny so here are a bunch of them.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

This is right before Razor turned face and it’s clear why given how big the pop he gets here is. Backlund offers a handshake and gets a toothpick in the face instead. A LOUD Razor chant opens things up as Backlund is shoved into the corner. Ramon slams him down and stomps away as Savage brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today.

It comes up out of nowhere in the middle of this match because there’s no reason for this match to take place. Leave it to JR to bring it back to the match as Backlund makes his comeback. A butterfly suplex puts Razor down and there’s Backlund’s atomic drop. That gets no cover though, as Razor grabs a small package to pin the wrestler with a wrestling move.

Rating: D. This was a squash at a Wrestlemania in 1993. Razor would be turning face soon after this while Backlund did nothing at all for a LONG time until he went nuts and actually won the world title. Nothing to see here though and it was clear that the announcers didn’t care about the match at all.

We recap Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake and injuring his face (again) on Raw. Hulk Hogan was watching and came back to save his little buddy. The champions (Money Inc.) says they’ll bankrupt Hogan and Beefcake. Oh and we hear about a black eye that Hogan has from working in the gym the previous night. I’ve heard a bunch of stories over that before, but the most common one I hear is Savage decking him in the eye because he thought Liz had cheated on him with Hogan. The other version (and possibly the real one) is that Hogan had an accident on a Jet-Ski.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Jimmy Hart is with the challengers because of how the champions hurt Beefcake. Hogan and Beefcake clear the ring while the music is still playing as the match begins. The champions stall on the floor for awhile until we get down to Beefcake (in a red/yellow mask) vs. I.R.S. The tax dude immediately goes for the face and it’s off to DiBiase for more of the same. DiBiase hits a middle rope ax handle to the mask and injures himself in the process. Ted continues to act way dumber than he is by ramming the mask into the buckle. So why did the punches work earlier?

Beefcake rams DiBiase’s head into the buckle instead and in the match we should have gotten five years ago, it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase. Ten punches in the corner put Ted down so Hogan pounds on the mat a bit. Off to Beefcake for a slam before it’s back to hogan for more punching. DiBiase ducks low and is immediately punched in the face again. I.R.S. comes in again and is punched by both Maniacs. All challengers so far.

The champions try to walk out but Finkus Maximus (remember the Roman theme) says that if they leave, they lose the titles. They get back in and the fans are chanting for Hogan. Ted goes for the throat to finally take over and I.R.S. chokes away a bit from the floor. More choking by DiBiase ensues before he cranks it up with the Million Dollar Dream. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafter! Well they would if they had rafters. They have columns here and they’re hanging from them!”

I.R.S. tries to interfere for some reason but it allows Beefcake to come in with his own sleeper and put DiBiase out to break the hold and buy Hogan a breather. Hogan pops up and the double tag brings in Schyster to face Beefcake. An atomic drop puts Ted on the floor but the tax dude gets in a shot to Beefcake’s back to take over. Dibiase comes back in and rips the mask off of Brutus’ face so the champions can work over the face.

Beefcake comes back with a double clothesline out of nowhere but instead of tagging he puts I.R.S. in the sleeper. Ted breaks it up but the referee is bumped in the process. Hogan comes in like a hero and hits both guys with the steel mask but there’s no referee. What else do you do in this situation? You have Jimmy Hart turn his jacket inside out so it has white and black stripes and have him count then CELEBRATE LIKE YOU WON THE FREAKING BELTS. Another referee comes out to explain to Hogan how stupid he is and give Money Inc. the win by DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was ok at best but the ending is so dumb that I can barely comprehend it. I mean…..HOW STUPID CAN HOGAN POSSIBLY BE??? The guy has been around for nearly ten years and he thinks that would actually work? The match was just ok as it was mainly choking and punching for the first half, which is decent but nothing mind blowing. Then the ending sucked the life out of my brain which is normal for Hogan a lot of the time.

Lots of posing ensues but then the Maniacs open Money Inc.’s briefcase. They find tax forms, cash, and a brick. Heenan: “Well you never know when you’re gonna need a brick.” Hogan gives the money away and Heenan is suddenly a huge fan.

Todd Petingill finds Natalie Cole (singer I think) and the owner of Caesar’s Palace who are as riveting as you would expect.

Mr. Perfect says he’s going to solve the Lex Luger puzzle.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.

Perfect hits a dropkick to send Luger to the outside as the crowd is staying hot. Back in and Luger starts using the power but Perfect blocks a big boot attempt. There’s the Robinsdale Crunch on Luger’s knee and Perfect cranks on it a bit for fun. We head to the corner for some LOUD chops but Lex whips him into the corner a few times to take over. We head to the floor with Luger ramming the injured back into the apron, followed by a backbreaker in the ring for two.

Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.

Rating: C. Decent match here but it never hit the level they were capable of. That ending was actually designed to set up something at the NEXT Wrestlemania which was unheard of at this point in time. Anyway, decent match here but it’s a disappointment due to how good this could and should have been.

Luger knocks him out post match and leaves. Perfect finally staggers after him and the fight starts again, until Shawn Michaels helps beat up Perfect.

Savage yells at Heenan for supporting Luger too much.

Gorilla Monsoon talks about the remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and is working for Harvey Wippleman for revenge on Undertaker after Undertaker got rid of Kamala. Taker comes out in a chariot and carrying a vulture. Undertaker literally only comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some uppercuts stagger the Giant but he grabs Taker by the throat to stop him cold. Taker climbs to the second rope and grabs Gonzalez by the throat, only to get hit low to stop him again.

Old School staggers the Giant a bit but he comes back with a clothesline to take over. Taker is thrown across the ring and we get a standing chinlock by the monster. The famous one fights up but gets thrown to the outside with ease. Taker is sent into the steps and we head back inside. Gonzalez pounds away a bit more but Taker slugs away, knocking Gonzalez down to one knee. Wippleman throws in a rag, which apparently the announcers can smell a chemical on from twenty feet away in an outdoor arena with over 15,000 people in it. Apparently it’s ether or something, earning Taker a DQ win.

Rating: D-. Gonzalez was AWFUL which really hurt things a lot. The main issue Undertaker had at this point was no one had any idea what to do with him. They just had him fight monsters for years on end which you can only watch for so long. This story would be reused about 12 years later with Undertaker playing Undertaker, Daivari playing Wippleman and Great Khali playing Gonzalez.

Referees check on the unconscious Undertaker as Gonzalez chokeslams a referee. The fans chant for Hogan but a gong goes off and Taker staggers out to beat up the monster.

We recap Jim Duggan being destroyed by Yokozuna. The fat man did the same to Bret Hart as well, setting up this match. In the back, Hogan says he wants the first title shot against either Hart of the Jap. His words, not mine.

Todd Pettingill continues to annoy fans.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Bret is defending against Yoko who won the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t an automatic title shot yet but starting the following year it would be. Bret hits a quick dropkick and pounds away but a single shot knocks the champion away. A big tackle runs Bret over and sends him to the outside but he trips Yoko up to take him down. Bret pounds away but it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Yoko wins a battle of the clotheslines and a big old legdrop crushes the champ’s face.

Off to a nerve hold for a bit but Bret gets his feet up in the corner to block a charge. A middle rope bulldog puts the monster down for two which is a victory in and of itself. Yoko superkicks Bret down and it’s right back to the nerve hold. Bret fights up and makes his comeback, finally knocking Yoko down with a middle rope clothesline. A buckle pad is ripped off somewhere in there and Bret rams him face first into it. Yoko falls on his stomach and Bret gets the Sharpshooter, only to have Fuji throw salt in the champ’s face. That’s actually enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Bret did what he could but there’s a limit to what you can get out of a big fat guy like this. The ending is pretty lame and the match lasted less than nine minutes. That just doesn’t fit for a Wrestlemania main event but thankfully the rematch the next year would get more time and would be MUCH better.

Hogan runs out to check out Hart, so Mr. Fuji issues a challenge to Hogan for a title match RIGHT NOW. Bret tells Hogan to go get him and the fight is on.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji misses a salt through, clothesline, legdrop, new champion.

Hogan poses a lot to end the show. Yeah that’s how Wrestlemania ends: in 22 seconds.

Overall Rating: D. The opening matches are as good as you’ll find for two straight openers at Mania in a long time, but after that it’s ALL downhill. The ending here was just stupid. First off, pride or whatever, WHY WOULD YOU GIVE A FRESH HULK HOGAN A WORLD TITLE SHOT AFTER YOU JUST WON THE BELT??? On top of that, we had some stupid endings with the tag title match and the Undertaker match, making this even worse. The problem with this show is other than the openers, it isn’t entertaining. I’ve never liked this show and most people don’t either, which is easy to understand.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

Redo: D+

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

Redo: D

I actually liked it better this time. Man alive I must have been in a bad mood for the first one.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.