Monday Night Raw
Date: January 18, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to start adding in some new names to the lineups. There are several spots still available and that means we can fill in a few more of them over the next two weeks. And there’s the whole Randy Orton getting hit with a fireball deal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Martin Luther King Jr. Day video.

From the shadows, Randy Orton talks about people who fight fire with fire usually wind up with ashes. We see a mask over his face as he says the voices in his head have never been louder. He talks about needing to redirect his pure hatred and we see Alexa Bliss throwing the fireball last week. The fire that melted the skin off his face will never go away. He is wearing his mask to protect himself but to shield everyone else from the horror.

The burns could have been much worse or could have disfigured him forever. Orton doesn’t blame her though because he blames the Fiend. Orton blames the Fiend for this because he knows what the Fiend wants. The Fiend wants to stop Orton from achieving the inevitable. We see clips of Orton’s two Royal Rumble wins as Orton talks about how he would be a threat to win the Rumble even if you chopped off all of his limbs.

He enjoys the pain and you can blame the Fiend when he burns everyone’s Wrestlemania dreams to ashes. Orton lights and the blows out a match. That was certainly different, though would it have been too much to wait more than a week after he was burned to appear again? That’s not enough to be gone for another show?

We look at Ric Flair intentionally costing Charlotte a match against Lacey Evans last week and then leaving with Evans.

Ric Flair and Lacey Evans arrived earlier today, with Lacey asking to hear a Horsemen story. Lacey doesn’t like being interrupted to ask about what is going on between them because she is just learning from the best. They’ll be watching Charlotte vs. Peyton Royce tonight.

Charlotte vs. Peyton Royce

Peyton (now with purple hair) jumps her from behind during the entrances and we take a break. Back with the match officially starting and Royce jumping her again. This time Charlotte knocks her to the floor for the big chops but one of them hits the post to let Peyton get a breather. Back in and Royce gets in a few shots until Charlotte chops her into the corner.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two but here’s Ric Flair (Tom: “Oh not this again.” Amen brother.) with Lacey Evans, in her own Nature Boy robe. Royce uses the distraction to hit a spinning kick to the face for two. Back from a break with Charlotte chopping her to the floor for a nine count. Charlotte goes for the leg and the Figure Eight makes Royce tap at 12:06.

Rating: D+. Longer than it needed to be here (and thank goodness Peyton jumped her before the bell, only to have everything settled down for the opening bell) and thank goodness they managed to find a way for Ric Flair to appear again. It had been a few months since he had some kind of an angle and that’s just too long to be without him. Anyway, nothing to see here, other than WWE trying and failing to make me feel sympathetic for Charlotte.

Riddle pops in to interrupt the Hurt Business. He compliments their clothes, including saying that MVP looks like Gordon Gecko (Riddle does not seem like a Wall Street guy). Lashley compliments the flip flops and then stomps on (or near) Riddle’s foot.

Post break Riddle insists that he’ll be good to go for his six man later.

We get a promo from earlier today with Mustafa Ali talking about Kofi Kingston having a broken jaw. Ali wants to break Kingston’s spirit by breaking someone Kofi cares about the most in Xavier Woods. This is tied into Kofi taking Ali’s spot in the Elimination Chamber back in 2019. That’s a story I didn’t think we would revisit.

Mace vs. Xavier Woods

The rest of Retribution is here and Woods hits Ali in the mouth before the bell. Back from a break and things get started with Mace taking Woods down. The choking is on until Mace sends him into the corner, with Woods looking rocked. Woods gets in a few shots to the face and dropkicks the knee out to put Mace down for a change. Ali gets knocked off the apron so he tells the team to do it now. Retribution surrounds the ring and Mace hits a side kick. A fireman’s carry spun into a slam (with Mace dropping him on the landing) finishes Woods at 4:04.

Rating: C-. The ending didn’t help things but the idea of building to Kofi vs. Ali is interesting, as they have actually waited two years for an interesting match. If nothing else, actually giving Retribution an interesting feud is a different way to go. I doubt it gets there, but a Wrestlemania match could certainly be interesting.

Post match Ali tells Woods that they’re coming for Kingston.

Asuka is asked what to expect in Alexa’s Playground. Asuka: “I don’t know.” After a look at Bliss burning Orton last week, Asuka says she doesn’t want to see Alexa’s dark side.

We get a special report, featuring HHH (Henry E. Panki) and Stephanie McMahon (Anita Reelman) as news reporters. Weatherman Sunny McCloud (Roman Reigns) and Paul Heyman announce that Wrestlemania XXXVII will be in Tampa. Hailey Mary (Sasha Banks) is in Dallas, where Wrestlemania XXXVIII will be held in 2022. Then Hugh Kantseeme (John Cena) is in Los Angeles, where Wrestlemania XXXIX will be held in 2023. Then they’re off the air and HHH and Stephanie take off their costumes to say they were both awesome. This is….uh….well it’s different. We’ll go with different.

Here is Alexa Bliss for Alexa’s Playground. She wants to address the viper in the room. Things got a little heated with Randy Orton last week but she knows someone if he is interested in some sunblock. As for tonight though, her guest is Asuka, who looks scared of where to sit. Bliss says that isn’t your seat, but she wasn’t talking to Asuka. For now though, Bliss has some special news.

After asking the invisible person in the swing if she should tell them, she announces her entry into the Royal Rumble. That means she could go on to Wrestlemania to face Asuka, who says she is a big fan of Bliss. Asuka, sounding rather nervous, says yowie wowie. Bliss apologizes to whoever is next to her and Asuka starts dancing. Bliss shouts to stop it and talks to the swing. Asuka tries to calm Bliss down by saying he is still here, but Bliss says not to say his name. A scared Asuka leaves.

Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre is set for the Royal Rumble. Tonight, JEFF JARRETT will break the match down.

Miz and John Morrison promise some shenanigans with Goldberg on the Dirt Sheet.

Shayna Baszler is ready to destroy Mandy Rose tonight, just like she’ll do to everyone at the Royal Rumble. Then Nia Jax bickers with Shayna about carrying her. WHY ARE THESE TWO STILL FRIENDS???

Jeff Jarrett picks Goldberg to defeat Drew McIntyre at the Royal Rumble.

We look at last week’s tag match with Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax beating Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke.

Mandy Rose vs. Shayna Baszler

It should be noted that Rose’s entrance took place before Shayna’s interview, which was followed by a break. Nia Jax is on commentary as Shayna takes Mandy down for a neck crank. Mandy fights out and is taken right back down into the neck crank again. Shayna stomps on the arm but Mandy grabs a rollup for two. The clothesline comeback is on but Baszler kicks the bad arm again. Shayna pulls her down by the arm and finishes with the Kirifuda Clutch at 3:43.

Rating: D. This match made me think of Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake at Summerslam 1990. After Hogan beat Earthquake, he promised to drag him all around the country and beat him over and over. That’s a cool thing to say, but what difference does it make to beat the same person over and over again? Baszler and Jax have beaten Rose and Brooke time after time now and I’m not sure what WWE thinks they’re getting out of doing it again.

Post match Jax and Baszler argue AGAIN, with Dana Brooke dropkicking Jax into Baszler.

Post break Jax and Baszler argue AGAIN, with Charly Caruso interrupting to point out that they’re arguing. Jax says they never get along, but no one around here does. This is the perfect time for them to get their rematch for the Tag Team Titles because Charlotte and Asuka aren’t even speaking.

We look at the opening match with Ric Flair and Lacey Evans ticking Charlotte off and Charlotte taking it out on Peyton Royce.

Charlotte is sick of people saying she is living off of her last name when you have Lacey Evans living off of her family’s last name. She’s sick off all the trash, because Evans can wear the robe but she can never take the crown.

We look at Adam Pearce signing the contract to face Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble but then swapping in Kevin Owens in his place.

Ricochet is with Adam Pearce, who is giving him an opportunity tonight. AJ Styles and Omos come in with AJ saying he has never gotten a chance. Ricochet compares it to 50 First Dates because AJ can’t remember anything. He starts to explain it but AJ says he knows the movie (AJ: “It’s in my top ten.”). Ricochet says AJ is forgetting TLC but now it’s time to go to the ring.

Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

After Ricochet’s entrance, AJ is still in the back with Pearce and threatens him with Omos. That takes us to another break and now we’re ready to go. AJ’s headlock doesn’t get very far as Ricochet hits a Japanese armdrag into a jackknife rollup for two. Ricochet sends AJ outside, stops to glare at Omos, and then slides down for an anklescissors to drop AJ again.

Another dive is pulled out of the air by Omos, who then just drops Ricochet with a thud. We take a break and come back with Ricochet still in trouble until a spinning DDT drops AJ. Ricochet muscles him over with a German suplex but AJ is right back with a brainbuster for his own two.

The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets the same so AJ heads to the apron. The Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the Recoil for a slightly delayed two and they’re both down again. Back up and Ricochet tries a springboard but gets countered into the Styles Clash for the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match that the show needed as they had two talented guys going out there and doing their thing while getting some time. I’m not wild on Ricochet losing again but you can’t let false hope ruin the few good things about this show. It’s by far the best thing on the show tonight and the kind of thing that helped boost the rest of the pretty weak night up.

We look back at Alexa’s Playground.

And now, the Dirt Sheet, because we need another talk show. Miz and John Morrison talk about how great things could be for Goldberg if he wins the title one more time. That brings us to their guest tonight: Goldberg! Uh….make that Gillberg! As cliched as that might be, it’s nice to see Gillberg after his recent health issues. Anyway, Gillberg talks about everything he does in his entrance, but here’s…..a mini Drew McIntyre to interrupt.

After putting in the mini sword (Joe: “That’s the Clayless.”), mini Drew (with his kilt a bit too low and having to adjust his hair) says he is here to address his Royal Rumble opponent face to face. Drew promises to kick Goldberg back to 1998 and then go home and eat some haggis. Morrison mocks Drew’s accent and Drew breaks character, asking if we can do it again. Miz snaps on Morrison for getting an actor from New Jersey instead of New York, LA or Cleveland. Morrison: “CLEVELAND???”

Gillberg interrupts with his goofy face and gets a double shut up. They decide to wrap it up with Miz saying Drew and Goldberg will both lose at the Rumble because Miz is cashing in, because he’s the Miz and he is……next. Miz and Morrison bickering was funny but after everything else on this show, this was a really bad idea. Except for Gillberg, because Gillberg is awesome.

Hurt Business vs. Lucha House Party/Riddle

Cedric Alexander beats on Gran Metalik to start but Shelton Benjamin won’t tag in while not looking happy. Lince Dorado comes in to take Alexander down and hammer away on his back but Shelton and Bobby Lashley still won’t tag in. Shelton finally comes in and sends Dorado into the corner, followed by a double shoulder with Lashley’s help.

Alexander tags himself back in but Shelton does the same, ordering Alexander to get out. The argument lets Dorado hit the Golden Rewind (MVP: “You see what happens??? You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes!”) but Alexander breaks up the tag. Shelton shoves Alexander outside and MVP talks some sense to him as we take a break. Back with Alexander holding a chinlock on Dorado as we look at the pre-break bickering.

Alexander reaches for a tag to Shelton, pulls his hand back, and tags Lashley in instead. Lashley is willing to tag Benjamin, who snaps off a suplex. Dorado finally gets away and brings in Riddle to pick up the pace, despite his taped up foot. The good foot kicks Shelton upside the head and the Final Flash connects for two. Alexander comes back in and argues with Shelton, so Lashley spears Metalik and finishes with the Hurt Lock in a hurry at 12:36.

Rating: D+. Why? Why the heck does WWE insist on doing this nonsense? The Hurt Business has been one of the best things going for the last eight months and now they’re teasing a split just after they win the Tag Team Titles? Why? What good does this do other than messing with something that is working? I know I’m no professional wrestling writer, but sometimes it’s ok to just let something that works keep going rather than throwing in some kind of screwiness for the sake of messing things up.

Post match Riddle cheap shots Lashley, who has to keep Shelton and Alexander apart.

Elias tells Jaxson Ryker to not screw up again this week, because this isn’t Thomas The Tank Engine. Tonight, Jeff Hardy needs to be beaten down until he accepts the universal truth.

Drew McIntyre joins us from his home and says he is still asymptomatic after being diagnosed with the Coronavirus. He has been watching Raw and it makes him think of the circus. You have the clowns like Miz and Morrison but then you have the lions. It’s a little something for everyone and that includes Goldberg. Drew may be gone, but Goldberg better be ready for him at the Rumble because if he isn’t, Drew will drop him in two minutes. Check his title record, because he doesn’t miss. He’ll be back next week.

See this right here? It’s a promo. It doesn’t sound scripted and it doesn’t sound like 14 people who have never been in a ring wrote it. This sounds like Drew McIntyre being told “Talk about Goldberg for two minutes” and then doing just that. Why is this so complicated? It wasn’t even anything great, but it felt natural and had a point, including the circus metaphor. McIntyre is a good talker, but I can’t imagine he’s the only person who can do this.

Jeff Hardy vs. Jaxson Ryker

Elias is here with Ryker, who hammers on Jeff to start. A dropkick puts Ryker down though and Jeff’s legdrop between the legs and basement dropkick get two. Ryker is right back with a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Jeff hits a quick Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up so Elias shoves him off for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D+. This is another feud that is still going and feels like no one remembers that it needs to end at some point. Haven’t we seen them do all of this stuff already? I’m not sure if just swapping the roles makes that much difference, but at least Ryker and Elias are teasing a breakup after…..six weeks or so?

Post match Ryker is mad at Elias, because he said not to help him. Elias: “I thought you meant ‘don’t’ help me!” Ryker plants Hardy with a Boss Man Slam. To recap, this is the third team that has argued in two hours and forty minutes.

Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss

Non-title. Asuka starts fast and doesn’t seem so scared this time around. An early Shining Wizard connects and Bliss is rocked, but the lights go out Fiend style. Bliss smiles a lot as we take a break. Back with Bliss seemingly transformed (and maybe with different lipstick) into the serious version and Asuka not being sure what to do.

Bliss blocks and dodges a bunch of strikes before shouldering Asuka down without much trouble. Back in and the Mandible Claw is loaded up but Asuka manages to block it. The rapid fire kicks rock Bliss but she grabs Sister Abigail and, with a blank stare, finishes Asuka at 11:36.

Rating: D+. And so we have another example of WWE doing their storytelling thing. I get the idea they’re going for here and it does make Bliss out to be a monster, but Asuka being scared or whatever is not like her whatsoever. She can go with the silly and such, but having her be scared feels out of character. Also, can anyone give me a logical reason why she and Charlotte are Tag Team Champions at the moment other than Charlotte getting another title reign?

Post match the lights flash and Bliss’ makeup changes because she’s the happy version again. Fiend’s LET ME IN ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. Last week officially started the 29^th year of Raw and I don’t remember the last time I was this angry while watching the show. This episode had more bad acting, bad ideas, bad segments and bad pretty much everything than I can remember. Outside of AJ vs. Ricochet and McIntyre’s promo (which wasn’t great but it sounded like him saying his own words), there was nothing on here that either made me want to watch another thing this show does.

Where do you even start? First of all, we’re getting another Ric Flair story. I know we just saw him involved with Randy Orton about six months ago, so it must be time to see him again. WWE just got done with their big Legends Raw a few weeks ago. Why is it that only Flair can get these roles? You mean to tell me that NONE of the other Legends would be able to be put into a spot like this? It seems that we get at least a Flair story a year and other than HHH loving the guy, I have no idea why that needs to be the case.

Then you have the double talk shows, which served the following purposes: to show that Alexa, who has been creepy for months, is creepy and to show that Miz and Morrison, who are known to be bragging idiots, are bragging idiots. It comes off as a blatant way to fill in three hours a week, all while you have how many people sitting on the sidelines for months on end?

Maybe we could put some of them into a team so they can argue. I mean we only did it with Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler, the Hurt Business and Elias/Jaxson Ryker this week so there’s plenty of room for more. It nothing else it frees up creative from having to come up with something fresh, so maybe they can think of something else for Flair to do so he can have a bonus check.

Why are so many people having to do the same things over and over again, often on the same show? Every show but Raw has the ability to come up with a storyline for people (even 205 Live can pull off the bare basics). Here though? Same people doing the same stuff every week. If you need Flair around that often, ask him to tell you two angles he remembers from 1983 and redo them, then go talk to Flair again when they’re done.

This show didn’t make me want to see the Rumble and it didn’t make me want to watch Raw next week. I know NXT isn’t what it once was, but it’s still miles better than this. Smackdown is one of the best shows on television every week and they make stuff like this look easy. I can’t imagine that adding an extra hour in is that much of a game changer, so please find a way to fix this. It’s a Raw problem instead of a WWE problem, so figure this stuff out already.

Results

Charlotte b. Peyton Royce – Figure Eight

Mace b. Xavier Woods – Spinning torture rack slam

Shayna Baszler b. Mandy Rose – Kirifuda Clutch

AJ Styles b. Ricochet – Styles Clash

Hurt Business b. Riddle/Lucha House Party – Hurt Lock to Metalik

Jeff Hardy b. Jaxson Ryker via DQ when Elias interfered

Alexa Bliss b. Asuka – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show is special for a few reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are in the Garden. That alone is enough to get excited, but the other big story here is the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton, which is so intriguing that it seems to have raised the buys of the show to its highest in a few years. I’m curious to see how well it holds up so let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Garden and the history of the Royal Rumble. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line but Flair’s career is, which is hardly a fair trade. Before the match, Flair talks about his history in this building and thanks the fans for all of the respect they have given him since his first match here in March 1976. Then MVP’s music cuts him off because WWE knows how to disrespect legends.

Feeling out process to start with Flair working on the arm so MVP shoves him away. That just gets on Flair’s nerves so he hammers away in the corner, earning himself a kick to the face. The chinlock goes on as the fans let MVP know that he sucks. That’s broken up and Flair goes for the leg, only to get stomped down in the corner again.

A running boot in the corner gets three on Flair, but the foot is on the rope for the heart stopping moment. MVP suplexes him for two and superplexes him for the same. Flair gets in a double clothesline for a double knockdown and some rollups get two each. MVP is back with a shot to the throat but the Playmaker is reversed into the Figure Four for the tap.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on the US Champion losing but there is nothing wrong with giving Flair one more win in Madison Square Garden. The Flair retirement tour was a good thing to see as he earned a lot of the respect and farewells, so MVP losing isn’t the worst thing. I can’t imagine MVP minded putting Flair over in this situation either so it isn’t quite worth getting mad about.

Vince McMahon thinks Flair is rather lucky and explains the idea of the luck of the Irish to Hornswoggle, his illegitimate son at the moment. We hear a bit about the McMahon’s history here in the Garden until Finlay comes in to get Hornswoggle out of there before Vince can…..whatever Vince would do with a bearded leprechaun.

We meet the newest member of the Raw announce team: Mike Adamle. Oh boy here we go.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. Jericho returned with the SAVE US deal but JBL didn’t like the idea and cost him the WWE Title. Now it’s time to come out of retirement for the fight, with JBL even bringing Jericho’s children into the trash talk to make it personal.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

If nothing else, it’s weird to see Jericho with the short hair and long tights. Jericho backs him into the ropes to start but JBL gets in a cheap shot as the referee pulls him away. That earns him a running forearm as Jericho is all ticked off here. The Clothesline From JBL misses so Jericho grabs the Walls, sending JBL straight to the rope. They head outside with JBL getting the better of things, meaning it’s time to catapult Jericho throat first into the bottom rope.

The choking ensues, followed by the sleeper to go old school. That’s broken up and Jericho hits his own running clothesline to put them both down. There’s a big boot to drop Jericho again and JBL sends him shoulder first into the post. Jericho comes up bleeding so JBL stomps away at the head in the corner. That earns him some running forearms to the head and the Lionsault connects. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor, where Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was as intense and emotional as I’ve seen from Jericho in a long time and it was actually a good brawl. JBL is much better suited for something like this and the ending sets up a rematch at No Way Out. Jericho needed this kind of performance to reestablish himself and the blood looked good too.

Post match Jericho beats JBL up even more and chokes him with a camera cord in a similar version of what JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but gets Maria’s boyfriend Santino Marella again. NO, Maria is NOT posing for Playboy!

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has hooked up with Vickie Guerrero and has the Edgeheads behind him, making him all the more invincible. Rey Mysterio won a Beat The Clock Challenge to earn the show.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, is defending and has the wheelchair bound Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads with him. Edge goes after the arm to start so Rey forearms him in the face for the break (the simple exits often work best). Rey dropkicks him down for an early two and Edge is looking frustrated. A toss to the floor sets up a baseball slide to Rey, meaning the Edgeheads can get in their cheap shots.

Back in and Edge kicks the leg out to knock Rey off the middle rope. That’s enough to give Edge a target and we hit the half crab. Rey limps up for an enziguri before limping into a powerslam to give Edge two. Another leg crank goes on before Edge tries to expose the knee, allowing Rey to come back with the wheelbarrow bulldog.

The good leg kicks Edge in the face for two more and a seated senton gets two more. A top rope double stomp gets another two so Edge kicks him in the face. The spear misses though and it’s a 619 into the frog splash, but Vickie gets up and pulls the referee. Rey tries another 619 but hits Vickie by mistake. That’s enough to distract Rey so the spear can retain the title.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much drama here but that’s where the Royal Rumble title shot stereotype comes from. Rey did what he does best here by fighting from underneath and giving you some hope spots but Vickie interfering was the big surprise. She’s a great heat machine and Edge surviving as champion as a result is about as good of a way as you could go here.

Mr. Kennedy comes up to a towel clad Ric Flair in the back. Kennedy suggests a match with Flair but here’s Shawn Michaels to glare him off. Shawn: “Imagine a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy with a catchphrase. That’ll never work. These kids today.” Flair knows Shawn will win so here are Batista and HHH, the latter of whom tells Flair to put his pants on (HHH: “I know I’ve said this a million times before.”). Anyway Shawn says the best man will win tonight, and he’ll be wearing the brand new HBK t-shirt, available now at Shop WWE!

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, because that happens at the Royal Rumble. Cue Ashley to say Playboy wants Maria. Cue Santino Marella with someone wearing a sheet over their head. Santino says it’s not happening and makes fun of the New York sports teams. With the LET’S GO GIANTS chant out of the way, Maria asks the fans if they want her to pose. Santino say no again, and brings the sheeted person in. Naturally it’s Big Dick Johnson, in a New England Patriots jersey. Ashley beats him up anyway.

Mike Adamle throws us to a video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy for the Raw World Title. Orton was born to be a star and has every natural gift there is. He breathes wrestling and was destined to be the best. Then there is Jeff Hardy, who is more of a free spirit and rose to this level because he lives for the moment. There are some great old clips of both of them plus the rest of the Orton family. Hardy beat him in a tag match and keeps diving off of one thing after another, which has made fans believe he has a chance. I was right there with them because this was an excellent build.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy, the Intercontinental Champion (not on the line) is challenging and yes, he could win. A headlock takeover puts Orton down for a quick two and Hardy pulls back hard on the head. That’s reversed into a headscissors but Jeff escapes and hits a basement dropkick for two more. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and a slingshot dropkick sends him hard into the barricade.

Hardy hits a dive so Orton chills for a bit, only to have Hardy head outside to win a slugout. Back in and Hardy’s springboard attempt is cut off with a dropkick to send him crashing back to the floor. Orton suplexes him on the floor as you can feel the pace slow in a hurry. The stomping and choking ensue back inside but Hardy knocks him outside again. There’s the clothesline from the apron but Hardy misses a charge into the post. The chinlock with the bodyscissors goes on for a good while until Hardy fights up again.

Some running shot to the face set up the Whisper in the Wind for two on Orton and the slingshot dropkick connects in the corner. Orton rolls to the apron before the Swanton can launch and a missile dropkick puts him on the floor again. Hardy isn’t waiting around and moonsaults down onto him for another double knockdown. Back in and Hardy tries the Twist of Fate but Orton reverses into the RKO for the fast pin to retain.

Rating: B. The more I see this match, the more I like it. Hardy was rolling with the high flying and risk taking but the ending made sense: Hardy tried to go with the wrestling and got caught because that’s Orton’s wheelhouse. This gave you the impression that Hardy could win and that was all they needed to do here. Nice job and you could tell that Hardy was more than just a challenger of the month at this point.

Jeff gets a kind of lukewarm standing ovation, but the Garden isn’t the best indication of the masses.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Dang I love that thing.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals this year and Michael Buffer is the special ring announcer in one of (if not the) his only appearances for the company. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 because they’re starting big this year (and with the final two from last year’s Rumble). Granted Buffer doesn’t actually say “Shawn Michaels”, instead introducing him as the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn chops away to start but gets sent flying upside down into the corner. A shot to the face puts Undertaker on the apron but he shoves Michaels away.

Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect for the first elimination. Shawn chops away even more and hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is in at #4. Undertaker goes straight for him but gets chopped down as the fans give Khali a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. They fight over a chokeslam and Undertaker shoves him out to get us back to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 to stomp away at Undertaker in the corner. For some reason Undertaker can’t eliminate Holly and it’s John Morrison in at #6.

Undertaker and Shawn form the Texas Mega Powers but Morrison counters Sweet Chin Music to kick Shawn in the head. Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 and the fans are VERY happy to see him. Dreamer goes after Undertaker but Shawn takes his place to stomp the big man down. Batista is in at #8 to pick things up again, plus toss Dreamer for daring to break up a showdown with the Undertaker.

It’s Hornswoggle in at #9 and he goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Everyone brawls around the ring and it’s Chuck Palumbo, as a biker, in at #10. That gives us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo for a rather eclectic group. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo, is in at #11 and gets knocked out in less than thirty seconds.

Noble’s banged up ribs need some help getting to the back and it’s CM Punk in at #12. The pace picks up until Undertaker clotheslines Punk’s head off. Palumbo and Morrison go after Punk until he tosses Palumbo to clear things out a bit. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and saves Holly (his partner) and Batista backdrops Shawn. Umaga is in at #14 and tosses Holly in a hurry. Snitsky is in at #15 as they’re flying through these entrants.

Everyone fights by the ropes and it’s the Miz in at #16, meaning we have Miz and Morrison working together. Undertaker and Umaga kick each other on the mat as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 to snap Miz and Morrison’s throats on top. That earns him Sweet Chin Music for the elimination and it’s Jimmy Snuka in at #18 for the nostalgia pop. Undertaker hurts himself trying the headbutt and it’s Roddy Piper in at #19 for the REAL nostalgia pop. Snuka looks stunned as everyone stops to watch the old guys fight.

Kane is in at #20, giving us Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Snuka, Piper and Kane, which has to be one of the best collections of talent ever in a ring. Kane wastes no time in eliminating Piper and Snuka (they were just there for the one pop anyway so that was all they should have done), much to the fans’ annoyance. Umaga saves Shawn from Undertaker’s chokeslam for some reason and Carlito is in at #21. A Backstabber drops Punk but Cody bulldogs Carlito down.

Mick Foley is in at #22 (big pop) and Undertaker hits a Last Ride on Batista, which isn’t even acknowledged. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to a big reaction and some house cleaning. A bit too much trash talk earns him a chokeslam from Undertaker and it’s Big Daddy V in at #24. Undertaker eliminates Snitsky but gets superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy dumps Shawn and the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Undertaker drives Snitsky through the announcers’ table (or mostly through it) to blow off some steam as Cody and Kennedy tease eliminating each other.

Mark Henry is in at #25 as Hornswoggle comes out to eliminates Miz (still without getting inside). ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 as Kane kicks Morrison out. It’s nice to see the one in one out (or close to it) as it keeps things from getting too clogged up. Henry pulls Hornswoggle in so here’s Finlay, presumably in at #27, for the save. Finlay and Hornswoggle leave without being sent over the top but Finlay is officially disqualified for using the Shillelagh.

Elijah Burke is in at #28 as Batista falls out to the floor without being eliminated. Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH in at #29. Cody is gone, Big Daddy V is gone and Foley and Burke all go out together as HHH’s hands. HHH punches at everyone he can find, including a Pedigree to Umaga.

The clock is on and……JOHN CENA is in at #30 to blow the roof off the place because he was out with a torn pectoral muscle was wasn’t even certain for Wrestlemania. The Garden is stunned for about ten seconds before realizing that they’re supposed to hate Cena (this really is one of the best surprises the Rumble has ever seen and I smile at it every time). That gives us a final group of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena, which is not too shabby.

Cena goes after Henry and the fans are actually buzzing for a change. Carlito and Henry get tossed by Cena, who goes nose to (large) nose with HHH. The slugout goes to Cena until HHH catches him with a spinebuster. Batista is back in to get rid of Kennedy and Umaga. Kane is tossed out by Batista and HHH, leaving us with Batista, HHH and Cena. HHH tells both of them to suck it and the fight is on. Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb attempt and Batista is clotheslined out, leaving us with two.

The BOO/YAY slugout it on with Cena getting the better of it and initiating the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped and there’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and HHH escapes another AA before grabbing a DDT for two. The Pedigree is countered so Cena tries the AA again. That’s broken up as well so Cena grabs it one more time and finally tosses HHH to win.

Rating: B+. I like this one more every time I see it with the Cena return being one of the best things the Rumble has ever done. The rest of the match was very well booked with the big star, the great nostalgia for Piper/Snuka/Foley and enough top names throughout to keep anything from getting dull. They had the right balance here and I had a really good time with the whole thing.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve seen this one a few times now and I don’t remember liking it this much. Maybe it’s how bad the modern stuff would get but this was a show where they did their thing each time, had everything working as it should have and then finished it up with a really good Rumble. It set up an underrated Wrestlemania too and after this, I can’t say I’m surprised. Very good show here and worth a look if you haven’t seen it in a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: B+

Well dang man. Was I in a really good mood today or something? And this is the first time I’ve ever liked JBL vs. Jericho? Really?

Here is the original if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-original-the-big-surprise/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2013-redo-it-keeps-getting-better/

And the 2019 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2019-redo-thats-a-trio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This was the other request so let’s throw up a triple shot this year. The big story here is Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. This was set up incredibly well with Hardy being set up as the ultimate underdog who might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans believe in him and it’s an absolutely incredible build that had me dying to see what they did. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of wrestlers getting on a subway before going into a history of the Rumble. This year’s show gets some time as well and we cut to a fight in the subway, because wrestlers are going to wrestle.

I love the MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. It’s the only major arena to do that and it feels special.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line. This was during the “if Flair loses he retires” period and MVP wanted to take him out for good, as did so many others. Before the match, Flair talks about how important this arena is and how he first wrestled here in March 1976. MVP’s entrance cuts off a rather nice speech because MVP is a rather good jerk. MVP easily takes him down and strikes a pose but Flair just WOOs at him.

Back up and Flair takes him into the corner for the chops and punches, including a big chop to put MVP down. That’s about it for the offense though as MVP kicks him in the face and gets two off a neckbreaker. Cole says he’s sure that there are fans here who were here for Flair’s first match. Really? A fan who is there for two shows 32 years apart? That’s a bit of a stretch, but Cole never was all that logical. Flair comes back with a quick Figure Four attempt but gets small packaged for two instead.

Another running boot in the corner (Helluva Kick) gives MVP three….with Flair’s foot on the rope. You know Little Naitch is thrilled to be able to say Flair gets to keep going. A superplex gives MVP two more but Flair gets in a clothesline out of the corner for a breather. Flair grabs a rollup and backslide for two each and it’s time for stylin and profilin. The Playmaker is countered into the Figure Four and MVP taps out clean.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here and I can even forgive the US Champion doing a clean job for the sake of what is likely Flair’s last match in the Garden. I didn’t care for this whole story at first but it’s grown on me a bit over time. Flair deserves this kind of goodbye and his matches were still perfectly watchable at this point. Not too bad here, and a great feel good moment to ope the show.

Flair gets the big standing ovation that you knew was coming.

Hornswoggle, Vince McMahon’s son at this point in a story that is still so bizarre and gets worse every time, is in Vince’s office. Vince gives him a history of the McMahon Family in the Garden. Tonight it’s every man for himself and you can’t even trust your own family. Finlay comes in and Hornswoggle is rather happy to see him. Vince tells Finlay not to trust Hornswoggle, who jumps into Finlay’s arms as they leave. I’m still not sure if they know how old Hornswoggle is supposed to be here. That was never quite clear.

We meet new correspondent Mike Adamle, who actually doesn’t screw anything up! Yet.

We recap JBL vs. Chris Jericho. JBL had been doing commentary on Jericho’s World Title shot and got knocked down so he cost Jericho the match. The feud ensued with JBL even yelling about Jericho’s family. It’s time for the fight as Jericho continues to try to click in his return.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Ah the days of a ton of pyro for a midcard match entrance. They shove each other around to start with JBL hiding in the corner and the ropes. The second break is enough for JBL to get in a few right hands so Jericho takes him down for some of his own. The early Walls are broken up by a grab of the rope and JBL drops him throat first (the throat/neck that was damaged in the buildup) onto the top rope.

A standing Clothesline From JBL gets two and he catapults the throat into the middle rope to make it even worse. We hit the sleeper to stay on Jericho’s neck until Jericho slips out and hits a clothesline of his own. JBL is fine enough to send him shoulder first into the post and Jericho is busted open. Back in and JBL stomps away as the blood is starting to flow. They fight to the floor again and Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ. Kind of a sudden finish but that sounded amazing.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t work as JBL can’t do much and Jericho didn’t exactly do much other than throw punches. Jericho is already in need of a heel turn as the face push isn’t exactly working. Maybe it’s the lack of hair or just rust but it’s not exactly clicking here. Then again Jericho is known for being able to change things up at the drop of a hat so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Post match Jericho beats the heck out of JBL and chokes him with the television cable.

Ashley Massaro tries to go see Maria but boyfriend Santino cuts her off. See, Maria is NOT interested in posing for Playboy, though the magazine had probably already been shot by this point. For the sake of modesty, we’ll move on.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has used his relationship with Vickie Guerrero to become World Heavyweight Champion but Mysterio won a Beat the Clock Challenge (with the help of Batista and Undertaker) by pinning Edge on Smackdown. This earned Rey some beatings from Edge and the Edgeheads (Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder), because you have to have some lackeys.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending and has Vickie (in a wheelchair) and the Edgeheads out here with him. The fans actually boo Mysterio a bit and cheer loudly for Edge. Feeling out process to start with Edge slipping out of the corner to continue the staredown. Rey takes him down and gets two off a basement dropkick as the fans are relentless with the booing. Back up and Edge sends him outside for the quick beating from the Edgeheads. For once the referee isn’t an idiot and ejects him, allowing Rey to get two off a springboard seated senton.

Edge takes out the knee though in a smart move and Mysterio is right back in trouble. A kneeling half crab stays on the knee but Rey fights up and scores with an enziguri. The bad knee means the 619 is very slow though and Edge grabs a powerslam for two. Something close to an ankle lock keeps the leg in trouble and now it’s time to get series as Edge loosens the knee brace. That’s enough to wake Rey up for the sitout bulldog and another kick to the head (with the good leg) gets two.

Rey changes things up a bit with a top rope double stomp for two, followed by a hurricanrana to send Edge outside. The slide into the tornado DDT has Edge in even more trouble but he kicks Rey in the head to get a breather. Mysterio is right back with a drop toehold into the 619, which draws Vickie out of the wheelchair. The distraction means Rey has to hit another 619 so Vickie jumps up to take the blow. That’s enough for Edge to get up and spear a springboarding Rey out of the air for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was good, though it never got up to the level you would expect from these two. Edge retaining is far from a surprise and the ending worked really well, with Vickie showing her love for Edge, who likely doesn’t care because it’s all about the title. That spear out of the air was awesome too, meaning this was perfectly fine for a Royal Rumble title defense.

Mr. Kennedy gives Flair, in a towel, a slow clap and sounds like he wants to face Flair next but here’s Shawn Michaels to get rid of him. Shawn says a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy will never work as a gimmick today and Flair seems pleased. Batista and HHH come in with HHH telling Flair to put his pants on. Tensions are teased over who will win the Royal Rumble so Shawn turns it into a merch plug.

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, which totally feels in place at the Royal Rumble. This is the excuse to bring out Ashley to ask about the Playboy shoot again. Cue Santino with someone under a blanket to say stop it. There will be no Playboy because no one wants to see Maria with no clothes on.

We hit the cheap New York sports teams suck heat and, after a LET’S GO GIANTS chant, the fans seem interested in having Maria in the magazine. Santino: “They would cheer for hepatitis if you asked them to!” Santino brings in the blanketed person and of course it’s Big Dick Johnson in Patriots (Giants opponent in next week’s Super Bowl) gear for some dancing. Ashley beats him up to conclude our comedy.

Wrestlemania ad with a Baywatch theme. Believe it or not, Kelly Kelly fits this perfectly.

Adamle throws us to the recap video for Randy Orton vs Jeff “Harvey” in a fairly infamous botch.

So this is the biggest match on the show, even bigger than the Royal Rumble. Apparently the buys went WAY up as a result of Hardy getting the shot and it’s one of the best builds I’ve ever seen. You might remember me saying that Mysterio was the challenger that had no chance of winning. Well Jeff is the polar opposite, as WWE has done a masterful job at making you believe that Hardy could win.

The idea is that Orton is the perfect wrestler but Hardy is willing to do anything to win and could actually pull it off. This included one dive after another to Orton and sweet goodness did they ever work. I COMPLETELY bought Jeff as a real challenger and a lot of other people did too. It didn’t make sense, but WWE managed to create something where you believed the impossible could happen and it was amazing. I still love the build to this and it’s one of the handful of best jobs I’ve ever seen them do.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Jeff’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Dang I miss Burn In My Light as Orton’s theme. The fans are behind Hardy for the early lockup exchange and Jeff takes him down with a headlock. The legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick gives Jeff two but Orton is right back with some forearms to the back. Orton to the crowd: “WHO’S YOUR BOY NOW???”

Jeff clotheslines him right back down and hits a heck of a dropkick through the ropes, leaving Orton’s head a bit crooked against the barricade. The first big dive takes Orton down and the fans believe it all over again. Back in and Orton hits a big dropkick to break up a springboard, which you had to know was coming sooner or later. There’s a suplex on the floor to give Orton two and it’s time to slowly stomp away. Back up and Jeff sends him over the top for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff takes him back inside but gets sent into the post, allowing Orton to throw on a chinlock.

Since it’s a big match though, he adds a grapevine for a bonus. The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock for the second time in a minute. Jeff fights up again and hits the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. It’s too early for the Swanton so Jeff settles for a missile dropkick to knock him off the apron instead. Jeff’s moonsault to the floor barely makes contact and they’re both down. Back in and Jeff tries the Twist of Fate but gets countered into the RKO for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. It was good, but without a title change (which didn’t need to happen yet) there was no way they could live up to the hype that had been built. Hardy got in some dives but there was only so much you can do when you’re not winning the title. They NAILED the build and the match itself was fine, but it was a little deflating. Jeff certainly moved up a few levels though and that’s what matters most.

Jeff gets the standing ovation, but it’s not the strongest in the world.

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Michael Buffer of all people gets to do the intro, which is a very WCW thing to do, though that voice is hard to turn down. There are ninety second intervals this year so things are going to be moving. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2, with Buffer just calling him the Heartbreak Kid and never mentioning his name. Shawn (or Heartbreak) chops away in the corner to start but gets grabbed by the throat and sent into the corner for his efforts. Undertaker misses a running boot though and gets sent out to the apron. He’s fine enough to grab Shawn by the throat and hit a big boot as Santino Marella is in at #3.

Death comes quickly as Shawn superkicks him and Undertaker gets the elimination in less than thirty seconds. Shawn goes to throw Undertaker out and that’s just not bright. Old School is broken up with a pull off the top but Undertaker hits a chokeslam as Great Khali is in at #4. The fans immediately start the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker and Khali slug it out. The big chop is blocked though and Undertaker throws him out to get us back down to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and might have some more staying power.

Undertaker and Shawn take turns knocking him down until Holly gets in a cheap shot on Undertaker to knock him into the ropes. Shawn and Holly chop it out in the corner until John Morrison is in at #6. As Coach talks about Morrison and Miz spending all night partying, Shawn throws Morrison off the top and hits the top rope elbow. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music and Tommy Dreamer is in at #7, because WE NEED TOMMY DREAMER!!!

The traditional brawling around the ring begins with Dreamer pretending he has a chance to eliminate Undertaker. Batista is in at #8 and that keeps the crowd going even more. That gives us the big showdown with Undertaker but Dreamer (OF COURSE) breaks it up, thankfully getting eliminated. Batista spears Morrison but gets punched down in the corner by Undertaker.

Hornswoggle is in at #9 and immediately hides underneath the ring. Another spear takes Undertaker down and the brawling continues. Angry biker Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo. Morrison pulls himself back in from the apron as we get to the standard operating procedure of people trying to save themselves on the ropes. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo and rather banged up, is in at #11 and slugs it out with Palumbo.

That’s good for an elimination in about thirty seconds to keep the ring from getting too full. CM Punk is in at #12 and you know the fans are going to be into him. A bunch of running knees have Punk on a roll and he throws Palumbo out. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and a grand total of nothing happens. Well unless you count basic brawling and no one being close to an elimination. Umaga is in at #14 and knocks Holly out in a hurry to keep things balanced.

Snitsky is in at #15 (He was still around in 2008?) and the Big Bald starts cleaning house. Cody takes him to the apron but Punk can’t shove either of them out. As Cole says Morrison is like a young Shawn Michaels, Morrison’s partner Miz is in at #16. Undertaker puts Umaga on the apron but can’t stomp him out as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. The jump to the top lets him knock Miz and Morrison to the apron, followed by Paydirt to Morrison.

That’s enough from Shelton though as Sweet Chin Music is good for an elimination. Well that works. I loved the original Shelton run but he never recovered from that Gold Standard nonsense. Jimmy Snuka of all people is in at #18 and the fans literally get to their feet for that one. Undertaker tries a headbutt and hurts himself in a little payback from Wrestlemania VII. The old man abuse stops….and Roddy Piper is in at #19 to blow away Snuka’s pop.

Piper and Snuka have the big showdown in slow motion (thankfully with Piper in shorts instead of trunks) and everyone stops to watch the fight. Things settle back down until Kane is in at #20 to get rid of Piper and Snuka, leaving us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Undertaker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but goes after Michaels instead, with Kane making the save for some reason.

Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Cody as there are too many people who have been around too long. A nice backflip gets Carlito out of trouble and it’s Mick Foley in at #22 to a very long and positive reaction. Batista takes the Last Ride and Foley hits a double arm DDT on Kane. There’s a Samoan drop from Umaga to Undertaker as the ring is way too full. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to make it even worse but Undertaker takes him down with a chokeslam. A lot of people are down as Undertaker starts hitting his running clotheslines in the corner.

Undertaker gets rid of Snitsky but walks into Sweet Chin Music for the big surprise elimination. Kennedy gets rid of Shawn immediately thereafter, all while Big Daddy V is in at #24. Undertaker beats up Snitsky to blow off some steam before leaving. We get some near eliminations with Cody and Kennedy fighting to the apron and Mark Henry is in at #25. Hornswoggle returns from the dead and pulls Miz out before heading right back underneath the ring. As Snitsky finally gets up to leave, V can’t get rid of Morrison or Kennedy. Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Kane kicks Morrison out.

Henry pulls the returning Hornswoggle inside so here’s Finlay to jump the gun at #27 to swing the shillelagh. He and Hornswoggle leave, with the explanation being that Finlay was disqualified for using the club and Hornswoggle was, uh, short? Finlay holds Hornswoggle’s hand on the way out, again acting like he’s about five. Elijah Burke is in at #28 and MY GOODNESS get rid of some people already. The Samoan Spike sends Batista underneath the ropes and outside for a breather.

Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH at #29 to hopefully eliminate half the field. Cody, Big Daddy V, Foley (nice slugout first) and Burke are all gone to make things way better. Umaga gets sent head first into the post and Pedigreed….and JOHN CENA is in at #30 to one of the all time great pops.

See, Cena had torn his pectoral muscle back in October and the word was he was going to miss Wrestlemania, if not the following Summerslam. WWE had this wild idea for Cena: use a combination of Cena’s uncanny ability to heal and recover in a crazy hurry and, of course, LIE. This is one of the best shocking returns ever because Cena had been completely written off for at least the next six months. The fans, as in the MSG fans, are STUNNED and pop the roof off the place before realizing that it’s Cena and they’re supposed to boo at him.

Cena starts cleaning house and gets rid of Carlito, Chavo and Henry to get us down to Cena, HHH, Umaga, Kane, Batista and Kennedy. We get the big showdown with Cena and HHH as the right hands start fast. HHH hits a spinebuster but walks into an uppercut from Umaga. Kane and Kennedy are dispatched in a hurry and it’s HHH and Batista teaming up to toss Umaga. That leaves us with three, which is a heck of a triple threat. Batista gives both of them the thumbs down and the fight is on with a double clothesline putting HHH and Cena down.

There’s the big spinebuster to both of them but Cena counters the Batista Bomb. A clothesline gets rid of Batista and we’re down to the major showdown, which the fans certainly enjoy. That means POINTING AT THE SIGN (take that Ronda) and they slug it out with the fans being behind Cena. HHH gets caught with Cena’s usual but it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. A DDT takes Cena down again but he counters another Pedigree attempt into the AA over the top for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a bumpy road as they didn’t pace things well, meaning the match was way too full for far too long. They had a nice balance of legends and modern stars though with those three New York pops being very well done. It’s not a great match or anything, but what we got worked.

Now, with that out of the way, this is ALL about Cena’s return with nothing else coming close. That’s the kind of ovation and reaction you only get once in a long time and my goodness did it work here. Cena being back changed everything and it was a great moment all around. Just watching that crowd of smarks lose their minds because they were actually surprised is an all time favorite of mine and it still works eleven years later.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of an awkward show as the whole big moment at the end doesn’t exactly make up for everything else. Now that being said, there’s nothing too bad or even bad at all, but nothing that stands out either. The Hardy vs. Orton match was all hype but still entertaining, while I’m already having trouble remembering the rest of the card. Cena’s return stole everything and that’s fine, as it wasn’t really a great show to start.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2008-the-biggest-surprise-in-rumble-history/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in New York City again and there are three main events tonight. We have the usual Rumble and Edge defending the Smackdown Title against Mysterio, but the interesting one here was Orton defending against Jeff Hardy. I don’t know how they did it, but the company did an OUTSTANDING job of making Hardy seem like he had a very real chance of taking the title tonight and shocking the world. I had no idea who was going to win and I LOVED that feeling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses more on the show being in MSG than anything else.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Flair talks about having his first match here in 1976 but MVP’s music cuts him off. MVP takes him into the corner to start and he’s BALLIN already. Flair goes after the arm for a second before chopping away at the jumpsuit. MVP comes back with a running boot to the head for two before hooking a chinlock. The fans tell MVP that he sucks as he cranks on the chin.

Flair fights up and picks the leg, only to get small packaged for two. A backdrop puts Flair down and there’s a running boot to the face in the corner for three, but Flair has his foot on the rope. You know MSG isn’t buying that one. Flair tries to steal the pin but gets clotheslined down for his efforts instead. A superplex gets two for MVP and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Flair starts trying for some fast pins before slugging away. MVP punches him down and hits a facebuster, but the Playmaker is countered into a quick Figure Four to end this.

Rating: C. This was about what you would expect. At the end of the day, everyone knew Flair wasn’t going to lose this but it was a way to give him one last moment in MSG before retiring in April. I’m not wild on him beating the US Champion clean but the title hasn’t meant anything in years anyway so what difference does it make?

Vince talks to Horny about the Rumble. This is during the “Vince is Hornswoggle’s dad” phase. Vince tells him to not trust Finlay but he has to win. Finlay comes in and takes some offense to Vince telling them not to trust each other.

Mike Adamle is introduced as the newest broadcaster. Oh dear. For those of you that don’t remember him, imagine Cole but with something resembling charm.

We recap Jericho vs. JBL. JBL cost Jericho the title at Armageddon and tonight is the blowoff. JBL brought Jericho’s children into this too, saying Jericho would have to admit to them that he’s a coward. Jericho would use this same line against Shawn soon after this.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.

A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.

Jericho destroys JBL post match and chokes him with a cord, which is what JBL did to him. That gets Jericho cheered at least.

Santino tells Ashley that Maria won’t do Playboy. Thank goodness he was wrong.

We recap Edge vs. Mysterio. Edge is with Vickie now who just happens to be the corrupt GM. Mysterio won a Beat the Clock challenge by beating Edge himself to earn the shot. Edge is annoyed that Rey is claiming that Edge is just using Vickie, which of course he is.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending if that’s not clear. Vickie, Hawkins and Ryder are at ringside as well. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans LOUDLY boo Rey and cheer for Edge as Rey kind of messes up a rana. Edge runs him over but Rey speeds things up, causing Edge to panic a bit. Rey gets sent to the floor where Hawkins and Ryder go after him, only to stop when they’re nearly caught. The referee ejects them anyway.

Back in and Rey almost hooks the 619, only to have the champion bail to the floor. Rey is perfectly cool with diving to the floor to take out Edge, drawing boos in a bizarre sequence. Back in and a seated senton gets two for Rey but Edge takes his knee out to take over. Edge pounds away and hooks a half crab for a little while. Rey comes back with kicks to the face to escape and you would think he was choking a kitten from the crowd’s reaction.

Rey loads up the 619 but charges into a powerslam for two. Off to a kind of ankle lock hold but bending the knee instead of the ankle. Edge tries to take the knee brace off of Rey but gets caught in the sitout bulldog to put both guys down. Mysterio uses his good leg to kick Edge in the face for two before hitting another kind of seated senton for two. Like an idiot, Rey goes up and hits a double stomp for two. Smart move on a bad knee Rey. Edge is sent to the floor where Rey slide through the ropes into a tornado DDT for two back inside.

Back in and Edge kicks Rey right in the face to put him down again. Why over complicate things? The spear misses so Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash, but Vickie pops out of her wheelchair to break up the count. Edge misses another spear and puts himself in 619 position, but Vickie jumps onto the apron to take the hit, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the retaining pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok but you kind of expect more from Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. The ending was about Vickie, which would become a running theme over the next few months. Edge being all conniving and backstabbing the already evil Vickie was awesome stuff, but getting there was tedious at times. Still not a bad match at all though.

Mr. Kennedy is waiting for Flair when he gets out of the shower in a towel. Shawn comes in before anything happens and shakes hands with Flair. Shawn: “Imagine, a loud mouthed platinum blonde with a catchphrase. That gimmick will never work.” Batista comes in (pop), as does HHH (lesser pop). HHH: “I’ve said this a lot of times before Ric, but put your pants on.” It turns into a merchandise plug in a cute bit.

Maria comes out to do the Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. This eats up some time until Ashley comes out to ask Maria to be in Playboy again. Santino comes out to insult the fans (and the Giants), saying the people would cheer if you asked if they wanted hepatitis. He brings out Big Dick Johnson with a rubber chicken and wearing a half Patriots jersey. You can figure this one out for yourself.

WrestleMania ad featuring Mae Young as a lifeguard. Ok then.

Mike Adamle introduces us to the next match, featuring Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Hardy vs. Orton, which is based on three simple words: Hardy could win. Apparently this match drew HUGE numbers for the Rumble, which showed why they held out on Hardy winning the belt for nearly a year. Hardy hit a HUGE Swanton off the set on Raw, which made you wonder how far he would go to win here. The video is a mini-history of Orton’s career to this point, which isn’t really a good idea for a heel. This is followed by a music video about Jeff Hardy set to the song Rooftops by the Lost Prophets, which really fits him well. I remember being very excited for the match and this video was a big reason.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.

As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).

Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.

That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.

Hardy gets a well deserved standing ovation. His time would come.

We get the Rumble by the Numbers video, which is always a favorite of mine. Here are those numbers:

20 years of history

21 winners

569 superstars in the Rumble

36 eliminations (by Austin, since broken by Shawn)

11 Rumbles for Shawn (since broken by Kane)

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

3 identities under which Foley entered the Rumble in 1997

2 feet that must touch the ground

1 woman in the Rumble (Chyna, since joined by Beth Phoenix and Kharma)

62:12 of time that Mysterio was in the Rumble

2 seconds that Warlord lasted in the Rumble (since broken by Santino)

3 wins for Austin, still a record

1 is the spot that has the same amount of wins as #30 (Shawn and Undertaker)

4 men that have won the Rumble from the 27 spot, the most ever

73 percent of the Rumble winners have won the title at Wrestlemania

I love that.

Royal Rumble

As introduced by Michael Buffer (only the Fink gets all caps in the Garden), #1 is Undertaker, #2 is Shawn Michaels,. Now how’s THAT for an opening pair? Isn’t it amazing how a RANDOM pairing finishes the match the previous year and opens it this year? 90 second intervals here which seems to be the right amount of time most of the years. Taker powers Shawn around to start and elbows him in the corner.

Shawn gets crotched on the ropes but Taker GOES AIRBORNE with a running boot that misses in the corner. Shawn charges into the grip of Taker as he gets back in but there’s no chokeslam. Taker kicks him in the face instead as Santino is #3. Twenty five seconds later Shawn superkicks him and Taker gets the elimination. Shawn tries to dump him but Taker hangs on and works on the arm.

Old School is countered and Shawn hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is #4. Taker jumps him as he comes in as Shawn is down from something we missed. The big chop puts Taker down as the fans tell Khali he can’t wrestle. They grab each other by the throat but Khali misses a chop and gets eliminated. Shawn never touched Khali but charges at Taker when it’s just the two of them.

Hardcore Holly is #5 and is a tag champion here. Taker slugs Holly down but Shawn tries to dump the big man again. John Morrison, also a tag champion but with Miz instead of Cody Rhodes like Holly, is #6. Morrison looks at Taker and immediately goes after Holly instead. Shawn dumps him to the apron but John gets back in. That winds up being bad for him as he get slammed down by Shawn followed by the top rope elbow.

Shawn tunes up the band but Morrison blocks the kick. Tommy Dreamer is #7 to a big pop and a LOUD Tommy Dreamer chant. #8 is Batista as we get another good blast of energy. Big Dave and Taker knock everyone down (no eliminations) and they stare each other down, only for Dreamer to charge at Batista, earning himself an elimination. Shawn goes after Batista now but Dave spears Morrison down instead.

Hornswoggle is #9 and immediately dives under the ring without ever getting in. Batista and Taker hammer on each other in the corner as Holly clotheslines Shawn to the apron. Chuck Palumbo, a lame biker at this point, is #10. Taker flips Morrison to the apron but he hangs on again. Shawn and Morrison fight on the top rope as Jamie Noble, Palumbo’s enemy at this point, is #11. Noble has taped up ribs so his offense can’t last long. Palumbo dumps him after less than a minute.

At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Holly, Batista, Palumbo and Morrison in the ring with Horny underneath. #12 is CM Punk as Morrison makes ANOTHER impressive save. Punk is insanely popular in New York of course and fires off running knees in the corner to everyone he sees, only to charge into a clothesline from Undertaker. Morrison, the guy that took the ECW Title from Punk, pounds away on him. Punk takes Palumbo out but gets jumped from behind by Shawn.

Cody Rhodes is #13 before he means anything at all. Yes he’s a tag champion, and yes I stand by what I just said. Cody goes after Punk before shifting over to Taker like an idiot. Umaga is #14 to a decent pop. He spikes Holly out and gets to try on Batista for a bit now. Shawn gets backdropped to the apron but hangs on of course. Snitsky is #15 and badly pounds on everyone at once.

Rhodes jumps on Snitsky’s back and they both head to the apron but no further than that. Taker gets headbutted by Umaga as the ring is starting to get too full. Miz is #16 with those stupid shorts of his. He goes after Punk as Taker tries to put Umaga out. Shelton with his even stupider gold hair of his knocks both Miz and Morrison off the top and onto the ropes but not out, before walking into a superkick from Shawn for the elimination in less than 20 seconds.

Jimmy Snuka of all people is #18 to a HUGE pop. He goes after Morrison as the fans do Snuka’s barking kind of chant. Taker gets a headbutt which staggers the dead man before Snuka goes after Miz. At #19 here’s Roddy Piper to an even BIGGER pop. He takes his shirt off and causes about half the audience to faint before having a showdown with Snuka, which the rest of the match (remember this includes Umaga, Taker and Shawn) stops to watch. Piper pokes Jimmy in the eyes and the match finally picks up a bit.

Kane is in at #20 to hopefully clean out the ring a bit. Yep he knocks out Piper and Snuka before chokeslamming Miz. Taker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but before he grabs the throat, he spins around and grabs Michaels instead. Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Rhodes. Punk and Morrison pick up Carlito but he kicks off the ropes and sends them both into them. Punk kicks Morrison in the head but gets caught by a Backstabber. Cool little sequence there.

Mick Foley is #22 and you know the fans freak out for him. A double arm DDT takes Kane down as Umaga hits a Samoan Drop on Taker. The ring is WAY too full now with Taker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito, Foley and Horny under the ring. Morrison hits a springboard kick to take Foley down and Kennedy is #23. I’ll say this: the ring has some star power in it.

There’s a Mic Check to Miz and a kick to Taker after he sits up from something. A chokeslam puts Kennedy down and Taker starts beating up everyone. Here’s Big Daddy V at #24. Taker shoves Snitsky out, Shawn superkicks Taker out and Kennedy throws Shawn out. The only question I have from that: why is Taker on his feet after being superkicked? Taker drops a leg on the announce table on Snitsky because he’s a big jerk at times.

Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron as Henry is #25. Horny comes out from under the ring and pulls Miz out from the ring for an elimination. Horny goes back under the ring as V is trying to put out Morrison and Kennedy. Chavo is #26 and freshly ECW Champion, thereby making it clear that the ECW Title isn’t a world title. Kane sends Morrison to the apron and then to the floor with a big boot.

Horny comes in again as V and Henry double team him. Finlay runs out ahead of the gun (presumably at #27) and blasts both guys with the club. He and Horny leave through the ropes and don’t return, with the official statement being that Horny was eliminated for leaving and Finlay was disqualified. In the Rumble. Yeah this story was just badly done overall. Elijah Burke (D’Angelo Dinero) is #28.

Chavo dumps Punk after taking his title on Tuesday. That’s just overkill man. Umaga spikes Batista under the ropes and out to the floor. HHH is #29 which leaves a hole at #30. Basically every major star has entered and the announcers aren’t sure who is possibly left. Rhodes, V, Foley and Burke all go out at HHH’s hands before he pounds on Umaga. The countdown begins for #30.

The roof is blown off the Garden, because JOHN CENA is #30. This is shocking as Cena had torn his pec and had announced that he would be gone until Wrestlemania at the earliest. Imagine that: lying about an injury and getting a big response from the crowd. Who would have ever thought of that, and in wrestling of all things? Carlito, Chavo and Henry are all gone in about fifteen seconds before it’s HHH staring Cena down.

We’ve got Cena, HHH, Batista, Kane, Umaga and Kennedy to go. HHH takes Cena down with a spinebuster but walks into a superkick from Umaga. Batista takes Umaga down with the spinebuster and dumps Kennedy to get us down to five. There goes Umaga and we’re down to four. HHH and Batista dump Kane and we’ve got three left. Batista gives the double thumbs down, Cena says you can’t see me and HHH says suck it. Them are fighting catchphrases and it’s on.

Trips and Cena go after Big Dave but he clotheslines them both down. The spinebuster plants Cena and another one takes HHH down. The fans don’t seem thrilled with Batista so they cheer when Cena backdrops him down. HHH clotheslines Batista out and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena.

Since this is New York, the fans hate Cena by default and it’s boo/yay time. Triple H pounds away but walks into the Protobomb and the Shuffle. The finishers are both countered and they clothesline each other down. Cena can’t FU HHH out and gets caught in a DDT. The finishers are countered again until Cena hits the FU on HHH for the elimination and the win.

Rating: C+. It took awhile to get through the bad parts but once Cena’s music hit the place was electric. The fans booing Cena doesn’t surprise me at all because that’s how New York works. Cena would wind up facing Orton at No Way Out for some reason, resulting in a three way at Mania with HHH involved as well.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it definitely wasn’t terrible but at the end of the day, nothing is really all that good here at all. The best match is probably Hardy vs. Orton and that’s just ok. On the other hand though, nothing is really bad here and you likely won’t be bored with the show. It’s one of those shows where you watch it and other than Cena’s return, you probably won’t remember watching it two days later.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Wow the Smackdown title match really changed things around here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jim Ross

You think that’s enough commentators??? Anyway, this is kind of a forgotten show other than the ending, which to be fair was completely awesome and shocking to say the least. Cena is out with an injury here and likely is going to miss everything until Mania, which sucks but that’s the way it goes. I was just starting to get into WZ around this time so that should give you an idea of what was going on back then.

Anyway, other than that we have Edge vs. Rey and Orton vs. Jeff Hardy, as he begins his year long quest for the title that truly was awesome on a lot of levels. The Rumble and the fact that this is in MSG of course are the reasons to watch the show, so let’s get to it.

The intro is as standard as you could possibly imagine, with the guys getting on a New York subway and then all of the Rumbles being mentioned, especially the big ones. Except for 04 because Benoit doesn’t exist.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

This is a career threatening match, as Flair’s next loss would be his last. This means that it’s about as obvious as the fact that Becca has balloons under her shirt that Flair isn’t losing here. Since we’re in MSG tonight, we have the altered entrance ramp. Also, we have an annoying theme as with every time the name of a guy is shown on screen, it looks like a subway going down the tracks, complete with loud sound effects.

Because you know, that’s what I need over Flair’s music: train sounds. Flair says it’s an honor to wrestle many times in MSG and that he debuted here 32 years ago. That’s just freaking scary. MVP’s music cuts him off. He’s US Champion here. Fans are clearly all over MVP. The age difference here is insane. Flair’s chops are always great for some reason. It makes me smile watching him for some reason.

To put Flair in perspective, when he first won the US Title, MVP was four years old. Flair had debuted before MVP was ALIVE. Think about that. MVP is 37 years old and 35 here, and Flair has been wrestling since before that. That’s insane. MVP actually busts out a crossface chickenwing as I’m happy already. Flair goes for the legs, which if nothing else is the one thing he’s never changed over the years.

MVP gets the Drive By and the easy pin. Wait what? Yeah he got the three, but Flair’s feet were on the ropes. You could hear the crowd just go silent in a split second which was awesome. Flair goes for a quick rollup but gets two. It amazes me that a man in his 60s has this kind of charisma.

It really is impressive. Flair counters the Playmaker into the figure four for the tap out. That’s the thing here: Flair beat MVP clean, which makes MVP, a champion, look weak. That’s not good at all, but I get that Flair’s career ending is FAR bigger than his title reign.

Rating: B-. This was a fine match but like I said I don’t like the booking here. A DQ or count out would have been fine, not a clean submission though. This was really a basic match but it worked fine. It’s nice to see someone get a clean win for once after a decent back and forth match. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS ONE THOUGH? Ok so I shouldn’t be that mad, but it’s still annoying.

Vince and Horny are in the back where Vince is explaining the history their family has at MSG. He says Horny has to win as Finlay comes in. Horny gets really excited. Back up an erase that. It’s fairly obvious where this was going.

Chris Jericho vs. JBL

JBL had cost Jericho the title at Armageddon because Jericho had bumped into him. That started the feud that led to this. It included an instance where JBL more or less tried to lynch Jericho and hurt his neck and throat badly meaning Jericho couldn’t talk for awhile. This is clearly a long time ago as Jericho has only won the IC Title seven times here. JBL is freshly out of his short retirement where he was a commentator.

Jericho looks odd as heck with the long tights now which is weird as he wore those for the majority of his career. JBL had called out Jericho’s kids and said their dad was a coward to make this personal. Jericho keeps spearing JBL but the punches he throws are pathetic. Jericho works on the back which makes sense here as JBL retired earlier because of a bad back. After a brief skirmish on the floor we go back in and JBL hits the best looking Hot Shot that I’ve ever seen.

JBL has lost a lot of weight at this point and looks a lot better. The fans are rapidly getting on him though. Jericho hits the post on the floor and he’s bleeding but not terribly. This match isn’t that good. It’s like they’re trying to find a story out there and it’s just not working at all.

We’re back on the floor again and Jericho is in control now. As JBL tries to set up a table, Jericho just blasts the tar out of him with a chair to get the DQ. That was an awesome shot. Jericho pulls out a rope and gets back at JBL for trying to hang him. Bradshaw is down for awhile after it. The beating got a great reaction for Jericho though.

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t very good at all and it was a mess most of the time. I get the part about trying to beat up JBL from Jericho’s point of view, but this was just all over the place and didn’t work well period. The ending made a lot of sense as Jericho didn’t care about the win but just hurting JBL, so I’m fine with that, but this just wasn’t very good at all.

Ashley, who is in need of a cheeseburger or something like that is looking for Maria but Santino cuts her off and says she’s not doing Playboy. Yeah she is.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Edge

Rey got this shot just by winning a Beat the Clock challenge. I’m really getting tired of people getting shots over things like qualifying matches. There are no personal feuds anymore. Orton vs. HHH got close I suppose but Orton had the title match anyway. Edge is with Vickie here and oddly enough comes out first. This was around the time when there was an attempt at having a stable called La Familia and it just failed completely.

Nothing came of it and it bombed completely. Granted that could be because it was Edge, Hawkins and Ryder, Chavo and Bam Neely with Vickie Guerrero. That’s not exactly Flair, Blanchard and the Andersons. Heck that’s not Flair, Windham, Anderson and Roma. Rey is seen just standing there waiting on his entrance which hurts things a lot. Rey’s mask looks like that of a Trojan. Where does he find these things at?

His Mania masks and outfits could work wonders as a drug education program. “Kids, do drugs and you might wind up as a short Mexican wrestler with tattoos who dresses up like the Joker.” The idea of X hearing that as a kid would explain so much. The roles are messed up here as Rey is booed out of the building and Edge gets a great pop. We hear Edge’s very impressive resume to start us off. Rey botches the heck out of rana and gets booed out of the building again as a result.

Oh man the heat on Rey is great. Actually isn’t that bad? I’m not sure. The referee catches Hawkins and Ryder about to cheat and throws them out. If nothing else Ryder can go and listen to his radio. He needs an education on how to be a lackey so maybe it taught him everything it knows. It’s 315am and I’m tired. Give me a break.

Rey’s leg is hurt. It’s so weird to hear these references to recent events and hear things that you remember. This was almost two years ago. That blows my mind. Edge starts working the knee which again makes sense here so you can’t argue that at least. The referee is good here as he checks on Rey a lot but never gets in the way. That’s a nice little touch in there.

Rey’s quick stuff is just completely insane. Also he’s selling quite well here so I’m rather pleased with him here. In a nice touch, Rey kicks Edge in the face but uses his good leg. That’s very smart as he has enough to stand on the bad one, which while a bit of a stretch is believable, but he gets offense in and stronger offense than he would by using the weak leg. That’s not bad at all.

And there goes the intelligence as he goes up top and does a double stomp. Rey, your lack of intelligence disturbs me. In a cool spot he makes up for it though in a unique spot. With Edge on the floor, Rey gets a hobbling start but slides face forward so his arms go first and grabs Edge by the head for a tornado DDT. That’s very smart because he protects the leg. That my friends is psychology.

Rey hits a splash from the top after the 619 but Vickie pulls the referee out after jumping out of her wheelchair. Rey goes for another 619 but Vickie jumps onto the apron and he kicks her. This of course would put her in the wheelchair for months. Rey stops for a second to go oh crap and when he hits a springboard, Edge hits a great spear for the pin. Vickie gets the big sympathy thing from Edge as she is wheeled out.

Rating: A-. I really liked Rey here and for the life of me I don’t get the crowd. To be fair though, New York is the mother of the smark towns so that is your likely answer. This wasn’t bad at all for a token title defense. It came off pretty well with the knee being a great point to work with. Rey impressed me a lot here with some of his innovations to protect his leg. This came out very well and I liked it a lot, Vickie aside.

Flair comes out of the shower and Kennedy is waiting on him. He says he would love to beat Flair. Shawn makes the unneeded save with a great line of “kids these days”. Shawn makes fun of himself which is always great stuff. Batista shows up as does HHH and it’s awkward. I know this because they tell us it’s awkward. Shawn of course pushes his new shirt.

Orton and Hardy are getting ready.

Maria, looking mostly hot comes out for the first ever HD Kiss Cam. This goes on for like 90 seconds and is just annoying. Ashley comes out for no apparent reason. Good night she’s disturbing looking and gets no reaction. The mention of Maria in Playboy draws out Santino in a JEALOUS RAGE!!! He has someone under a cover too. There’s a jobber joke there somewhere.

I love how Santino makes fun of the New York teams here but earlier this year he did the decent jersey bit. He says the Giants will choke in the Super Bowl. Considering what happened, that’s just hilarious. I’ll give him this: he can draw cheap heat like no one not named Mick Foley. Under the sheet is of course Big Dick Johnson in Patriots apparel. In other news, X is defecting to the Jets. Ashley looks like the pole she belongs on.

Mike Adamle does the intro for the video package, famously calling him Jeff Harvey. We go to the video package, and easily this is one of the best ones the company has ever put together. Instead of just highlighting the three weeks leading up to the match (it was 6-7 here so that helped a lot) they show miniature bios of Jeff and Randy and their roads to getting here, with Jeff’s set to Rooftops by the Lost Prophets and since that’s one of my favorite songs it helps a lot.

They then have a thing where they jump back and forth between two segments on Raw: Randy punting Matt while Jeff is in the ring and Jeff’s INSANE dive onto Orton off the Raw set that was a legit scary thing. The problem was simple though. As Norcal put it after that, “Man, is Jeff gonna jump off the roof at the Rumble?” That summed it up right there: how could Jeff top this? Either way, this has me way into the match that I know the ending to and took place nearly two years ago. That’s very impressive.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

The key to this whole match is simple: Jeff could win. That was the whole thing anyone could talk about on WZ leading up to this: Jeff could win. Jeff is IC Champion here. Orton doesn’t hear voices yet. We get the big match intros which work well here. There’s no crowd confusion here which is a plus. They do the stupid bell ringing twice thing so in other words the match isn’t going on right now but whatever.

It’s a really basic thing to start but Orton is playing to the crowd really well now that he’s in control. Jeff gets a great baseball slide and Orton hits the barrier and his head looks like it’s not attached. That looks awesome. Ross is WAY too excited over this match. Orton tries to leave with the belt as he draws great heel heat. He’s a lot better here than he usually is.

In an unintentional great visual, the belt is on the ground and Jeff is down stretching his arms out and he can’t reach it. I don’t think he knew it was there but it looked great. Orton busts out the Orton Stomp just to tick me off a bit. It’s an old Ronnie Garvin move so no wonder it annoys me.Orton’s offense has been kind of all over the place and there’s been very little flow to this.

It’s been more or less a long brawl, although to be fair we’re 8 minutes in which from what I’ve seen is about half of the match so there’s time left. And just as I say that Jeff makes a comeback and we hit the floor again. Back in the ring, Jeff takes a GREAT shoulder post shot. That might have been the best I’ve ever seen as he freaking dives for it. This just isn’t that interesting of a match.

I think the problem simply is that the buildup was so awesome and then at the end of the day, it’s going to be a Randy Orton match which means it’s likely not going to be that good. Jeff comes back with an awesome looking Whisper in the Wind, which is my favorite Hardy move. It more or less ended with his leg slamming into Orton’s head so it almost looked like it ended with a Fameasser or a leg drop.

Granted it was completely by accident but whatever. Orton gets out of the way of the Swanton a bit later but gets sent to the floor. Jeff completely misses a top rope moonsault that at least they cover up with a quick camera cut.

Jeff more or less landed next to Orton which they of course show on a replay because the camera people are freaking stupid at times. And we go back in and Orton counters a Twist of Fate into the RKO to end it. I get that the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, but that ending came out of nowhere and not in the cool exciting way but in the that felt like it was bad way.

Rating: C-. The problem here like I said earlier is the hype. The hype here was off the charts and they simply weren’t going to be able to live up to it no matter what. That’s where this match lost it and that can’t be blamed on Orton and Hardy. That being said, this just was kind of a mess.

It’s not awful, but it’s a letdown and just not very good. Hardy wasn’t ready yet, but this was a good test for him. He would chase the title all year (minus the three month suspension for being an idiot and getting high) before winning it in a SHOCKER at Armageddon.

Royal Rumble

They actually have Michael Buffer doing the ring announcing. That’s awesome. He just sounds right doing this to say the least. Taker is number one and Michaels is number two, because it’s completely realistic to think that two guys that were numbers the last two last year would be numbers one and two this year. Buffer messes up his name though. He says it right but he sounds like there should be something coming after it.

They say a few people have come in at number one and won the match but they don’t say who, obviously due to the suckitude of Rey’s win. That’s all it could be right? We’re into minute number three of Taker’s entrance at this point. BIG old pop for Shawn. Well we know they’re not going out first. Did I mention all 6 guys are calling the Rumble this year? Yes because we need two guys to scream about everything, two analysts that aren’t that good and two idiots.

Santino is number three because two Hall of Famers aren’t good enough and we need comedy. Shawn kicks him in the face and Taker dumps him out. Well at least it was the right decision. Intervals are 90 seconds this year. Shawn counters Old School because no one has ever done that before. Khali is number four to a groan. Taker jumps him as the announcers point out how he used to knock Taker around, yet neglects to mention that Taker put him out with relative ease last year.

The smart crowd of course goes into the You Can’t Wrestle chant. Taker puts him out in about a minute for the second year in a row. Hardcore Holly, who is a tag champion here along with Cody Rhodes, is number five. It’s an even numbered year so it’s time to push him again. John Morrison, just starting to get over as a tag wrestler here, is number 6. Shawn and Morrison need to be given 20 minutes one day to just tear the house down.

Dreamer, who asked for his release today, is number 7. These intervals are WAY shorter than 90 seconds. Batista is in maybe a minute later. Taker and Batista have the big showdown that lasts just a few seconds before Dreamer goes after Batista and gets thrown out. They reference the clocks going fast as Horny is 9th. Oh screw it. He goes under the ring as Batista spears Taker.

We’ve got Holly, Horny, Morrison, Shawn, Batista and Taker in there. Ok, that might have been 45 seconds this time. Chuck the stupid biker Palumbo is 10th. It was another vain attempt to make him mean a thing and it failed completely. He’s just turned heel and no one cared in the slightest. He was feuding with Noble of all people and couldn’t beat him. That’s saying a lot.

Taker throws Morrison but he makes a nice save to stay in. Amazingly, Noble is 11th, just after his rival Palumbo. He’s gone in about thirty seconds thanks to Chucky. Punk, who would win the world title in the summer, is number 12. He just lost the ECW Title a few weeks before this to Chavo but would win MITB at Mania. He puts Palumbo out just before Rhodes is 13th. Umaga is 14th and nothing at all is going on here.

He’s got the incredibly bright red tights on here and he puts Holly out after shouting a lot. This is just terribly boring. Snitsky, amazingly still with a job, is number 15. Rhodes and Punk almost gets him out but that fails of course as Rhodes isn’t over yet. Morrison and Punk go at it renewing the real rivalry as Miz is number 16.

Taker and Umaga, who were supposed to feud about a dozen times but never did for whatever reason, fight for awhile until the minute passes and Shelton comes in at 17. Michaels kicks him out with ease. Well ok then. After about 30 seconds, Jimmy Snuka is 18th. Seriously? That’s the best you can come up with? He looks AWFUL. This is what I don’t like about WWE.

Shelton, a young guy with talent is in there for 15 seconds and Snuka gets a few minutes. What’s the point in that? Taz says that Snuka and Miz live two complete lives. He then throws in different, which helps because I thought they were the same person there for a bit. Nice job clearing that up there buddy. In at number 19 is Roddy Piper of all people. WHY?? To be fair he gets a great pop and looks decent.

Oh good night he took his shirt off. He needs to keep that freaking thing on. Old worlds collide as Piper and Snuka fight with everyone else stopping to watch them fight. Ok, the clock might have made it 30 seconds there as this is ridiculous. Piper is awesome but not in the ring in 2008. Kane comes in at 20 and I think you know the drill. He puts Piper and Snuka out to thankfully clear out the WAY to crowded ring a bit.

It’s still way too full but that’s a lot better. We get a big mess with Shawn, Taker, Snitsky and Umaga as Carlito is 21st. Shawn might have a broken nose. 22 is…Mick Foley? Well, I guess it makes more sense than Snuka and Piper. He gets a HUGE pop. He and Horny qualified together a few weeks before this. They’re chanting his name so I can actually accept this one to an extent.

At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Morrison, Batista, Horny (under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito and Foley. See what I mean about it being too full? To be fair though, that’s an awesome list of people for the most part. Kennedy is 23rd to a freaking ROAR. If he could have stayed healthy and been used right, he could have been a huge deal. Ok no he wouldn’t have been but when he was hot he was very hot.

Freaking Big Daddy V brings the combined talent in the ring down about 1000% though at 24. Snitsky is put out by Taker but he turns around into Sweet Chin Music to eliminate him but before Shawn can turn around Kennedy dumps him. That was fast paced if nothing else. Taker beats on Snitsky because he’s ticked off. Kane beats on BDV who isn’t wearing a shirt and is therefore disturbing. Rhodes is thrown over but skins the cat to stay alive.

WHO CAME UP WITH THAT NAME??? Did wrestling promoters like to skin cats or something? Just a freaking weird choice for a name. Mark Henry is 25th. Miz is in trouble and Horny pops out to pull him out. Punk takes a double headbutt from Henry and V. That can’t hurt that bad as both are hollow.

And here we have the proof that the ECW Title means nothing as Chavo is number 26. He’s a world champion and can have any title shot he wants if he wins. So, could he fight himself? Edge and Orton aren’t in here, yet he is. There’s all the proof you need that the ECW Title means nothing. Kane puts Morrison out. Horny tries to do the same thing to Henry that he did to Miz and he gets pulled back in.

The two big black men try to decide who gets to eat him but Finlay jumps the gun to save him. He uses that club and gets disqualified for it which is nonsense and Horny leaves with him, as both are gone. Elijah “Deangelo Dinero” Burke, who I swear to you has talent and potential even though I’ve never seen it but everyone says he does so it HAS to be true right? Chavo puts out Punk. Don’t worry Punk fans as he would have a much better year in the future.

Batista goes under the bottom rope to the floor. HHH is 29th and so it begins, as everyone starts wondering who number 30 is. There goes Rhodes. Big Daddy V follows. He puts out Foley which is still an awesome sight. This has been way over 90 seconds as to the next entrant. Burke is gone. Umaga takes a Pedigree and there’s the clock.

In easily the biggest Rumble shocker of the all time and arguably one of the biggest shockers in wrestling history, JOHN CENA IS NUMBER THIRTY! He had gotten hurt on October 1st and it was said he would be out until Mania at the least. This was easily the best kept secret in the company probably ever as NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE saw this coming. The LD more or less exploded at the time and with good reason.

This was EPIC. MSG has goes silent and then erupts in about 4 seconds as even New York is stunned. Everyone stops dead in the ring as I wonder who actually knew about this. Oh before I forget the final group is Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Chavo, HHH and now Cena. Carlito and Chavo are out in seconds thanks to Cena as the winner is about as obvious as possible now. Henry is out now and there’s your showdown as he walks into HHH.

As they fight you can see Chavo running to the back which is very odd. Batista spears the heck out of Umaga as Kennedy is put out by Batista and then he does the same to Umaga, to make the final four Batista, HHH, Cena and Kane who is put out to get us to three. The IWC was about to commit mass suicide at this point based on these three being the finalists. All three do their taunts to each other and it’s on.

Batista is put out and we’re down to two. And there it is, as Cena becomes the most hated man in New York City in less than ten seconds. Well he is from Boston I guess. In the most predictable elimination in Rumble history, Cena FUs HHH out to end it and go to Mania, even though he would lose in a triple threat that really should have just been HHH vs. Cena. Posing closes the show.

Rating: C-. And most of that is for Cena. This just wasn’t that good of a Rumble as there were too many spots near and after the middle that were just boring beyond belief with nothing of note happening. It was ok, but nothing great at all. Cena’s return is absolutely awesome though and makes the match on all kinds of levels. It’s ok, but there are far better Rumbles.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked it. It’s not a terrible show by any sense of the word, but at the same time, it’s certainly not great. There’s no truly great match on the card but it’s fine for what it is. Cena returning turned the company upside down and more or less reset the whole road to Wrestlemania.

Hardy and Orton is ok but not great at all. There’s decent stuff here, but with just five matches it’s a bit hard to get behind. Check it out for Cena’s return and that’s about all, but don’t avoid it if that makes sense.

 

 

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Hard To Kill 2021
Date: January 16, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re back on pay per view with this one and that means it is time to step things up. This time around, the big story is AEW’s Kenny Omega coming in to team with the Good Brothers against Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin (as Alex Shelley is out due to some personal circumstances). The card isn’t looking great but Impact can do some good pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers

Alexander takes him down by the leg to start and then spins out of a wristlock to put Myers down again. They head outside with Myers being driven back first into the apron but Myers shoves him hard off the top. We take a break and come back with Myers grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. Myers trips him down to cut off the comeback and the chinlock goes on again. That’s broken up as well so Myers hits a Downward Spiral for two, sending us to another break.

Back again with a discus forearm putting Myers on the floor. Alexander can’t get a German suplex but he can get the ankle lock, followed by the German suplex for two. Myers catches him with an enziguri on top, setting up the superplex with Alexander tying the legs up into a small package for two more.

A quick Michinoku Driver gives Myers two so Alexander backslides him for the same (with Striker throwing in a Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair reference because he tries way too hard). The ankle lock goes on and Myers can’t roll out, so instead he pulls the headgear around to blind Alexander. That’s enough for the running clothesline to finish Alexander at 10:54.

Rating: C-. Are they kidding? Who in the world looks at Myers and Alexander (especially including their histories and thinks that Myers, as “The Most Professional Wrestler”, is the more interesting choice? I don’t get this one, but I’m hoping they have a better idea than just pushing him because he used to be in WWE. Baffling decision here, and it came after a just ok match.

The opening video looks at how people had to survive a lot over the year but they are hard to kill. This includes a good bit of AEW footage, plus Alex Shelley announcing that he will not be able to be here tonight. Moose is taking his place, which could be a bit better.

Decay vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

That would be Rosemary/Crazy Steve. The men start things off with Steve headlocking him down and then tripping the leg. Rosemary comes in to crank on the arm and then hands it back to Steve. Kaleb sends him outside but thinks twice about the dive, instead bringing Dashwood in to elbow Rosemary in the face. Some shots to the back have Rosemary in more trouble and we hit the chinlock, complete with Dashwood rubbing Rosemary’s head.

Kaleb takes too much time going up though and Dashwood gets kicked into him for the crotching. Rosemary kicks Dashwood away again and the hot tag brings in Steve to start cleaning house. A rollup out of the corner brings Dashwood in for the save so Steve glares her out to the floor. Kaleb takes over on Steve’s arm, setting up a Russian legsweep for no cover.

Instead Kaleb stops for a photo, meaning Steve can avoid the moonsault. That’s enough for Rosemary to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. Rosemary hits a spear but walks into Kaleb’s superkick. The green mist hits Dashwood and Kaleb backfists Steve down. More mist blinds Kaleb and Steve hits a tornado DDT for the pin at 8:55.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird choice for an opener as the match wasn’t really a big part of the build (I’m not even sure I remember it being mentioned on TV) and it was just ok anyway. Rosemary and Steve work well together and while it’s nice to see Kaleb take the fall, it’s another miss for Dashwood. Not terrible by any means, but not a great match with a weird placement.

We run down the card. Still makes little sense on a pay per view.

We recap (with the video starting before Striker was done talking) Eric Young and company attacking various people around here. That means it’s time for Tommy Dreamer to defend his latest wrestling home, meaning we have a six man Old School tag.

Violent By Design vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

Old School (extreme) rules. That would be the name for Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering, because every team needs a name now. Striker: “I don’t think there is anyone who has done what Tommy Dreamer has done over the last thirty years at such a high level.” I think we can write that off as the first stupid Striker line of the night and move on. The ring is mostly cleared to start and it’s Jake vs. Deaner n the big showdown.

They’re out on the floor in a hurry as we go to a triple screen (THANK YOU!) until everyone winds up on the same side at ringside. The wild brawling continues until Dreamer brings in the cookie sheet to knock Young down. Back inside and a cutter drops Young again so it’s time for Rhino, Dreamer and Deaner to chair Doering down. That isn’t enough to keep him down as Doering gets up and bites Dreamer’s head.

Deaner throws Jake off the top onto two open chairs….and exactly thirty seconds later, Jake is back up with a suicide dive onto Doering and Young. That leaves Dreamer to crotch Deaner on top and it’s something like a Tower of Doom, with Dreamer getting kicked in the face in the process. Rhino posts Doering on the floor and it’s time for the thumbtacks. Young is backdropped onto said tacks and there’s the Gore to drop Doering. Jake’s Black Hole Slam gets two on Deaner with Young making the save with the hockey mask. The piledriver finishes Deaner at 9:51.

Rating: D+. They brawled, they did the same violent spots they always do, they tried to make Dreamer some kind of legend and Young was treated as the big evil. This was almost everything I don’t like about Impact rolled into one match and I have a bad feeling that it is going to be continuing for a good while to come. Throw in Doering being the latest monster without much of a reason to care about him other than who he associates with, we could be in for a long run with these guys.

Rich Swann fires up Chris Sabin when Moose comes in. Swann doesn’t trust Moose because Willie Mack would be here if Moose hadn’t taken him out. Moose talks about playing football with people he didn’t like but he would die for them once a game began. Tonight, Omega and the Brothers are getting beaten down all night long.

Video on the Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament: Fire And Flava vs. Havok/Nevaeh

For the vacant titles and that would be Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan, because, again, every team needs a name these days. Steelz and Hogan jump them to start with little avail, meaning it’s Steelz and Nevaeh to officially get things going. Havok comes in so Steelz bails out to Hogan, who is promptly backbreakered. A sliding clothesline gives Nevaeh two and it’s back to Havok to wreck both of them.

Havok misses a legdrop so some kicks to the face put her down for two. More running kicks in the corner give Hogan two but Havok drives Steelz into the corner. Havok tosses both of them down at the same time, allowing the tag off to Nevaeh. Steelz DDTs Hogan by mistake (yep still stupid) but Nevaeh gets caught on top.

That’s fine with Havok, who powerbombs both of them out of the corner (after walking a bit to show off). Hogan is back up with a neckbreaker on Havok and a Stunner rocks her again. Havok gets taken to the floor, leaving Hogan to hit a fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh for the pin and the titles at 8:48.

Rating: C. They aren’t exactly in the mood to give the wrestlers time tonight. This was a fairly rushed match but it’s nice to have one of the established teams win rather than a makeshift pair becoming the champions. I’m not sure what kind of a future the titles have, but it was an acceptable enough start.

Madison Rayne and Gail Kim come out to present the new titles.

Decay comes up to Taya Valkyrie but she, politely says she has this tonight. The women leave and Acey Romero sneaks into the Knockouts locker room.

Here are the unscheduled Ace Austin and Madman Fulton for a chat. Austin does not like being relegated to the pre-show panel because he won the Super X Cup. That means he should be #1 contender to the X-Division Title. So come on Scott D’Amore. Get out here and make the match. Cue D’Amore who agrees Austin needs a match so here is his opponent.

Ace Austin vs. Matt Cardona

Striker: “This is a mark out moment and I’m marking out bro!” Cardona starts fast with a running faceplant to send Austin to the apron. That means Austin can do his gymnastics on the apron until Cardona trips him face first. As Striker talks about “popping the internet”, a swinging neckbreaker drops Austin onto the floor. Fulton’s distraction lets Austin get in a cheap shot but it’s a flapjack to put him down back inside. The running corner clothesline sets up the Reboot (Broski Boot) but Fulton comes in for the DQ at 2:33.

Post match Cardona clears the ring in a hurry.

We recap the X-Division Title match. TJP couldn’t get another title shot so he put on a mask as Manik and won the title. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey want to unmask him and prove everything so we’re having a triple threat title match.

X-Division Title: Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju vs. Manik

Manik is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Manik dropkicks Bey to the floor to start and runs the ropes with Raju. Bey is back in and that means a three way standoff. Raju gets knocked down again and Bey uses him as a launchpad to dropkick Manik to the floor this time. That doesn’t last long as Manik and Bey switch places, allowing Raju to counter a headscissors into a reverse sitout powerbomb for two on Manik.

Bey comes back in and Raju misses a charge to the floor, allowing Manik to tie up Bey’s legs. Raju rejoins them for a standing armbar on Manik at the same time as Brown and Striker over if that is TJP or not. The double holds are broken up and Manik sends Raju outside, leaving Bey to hit a springboard kick to the head to catch Manik in the ropes. Bey misses a dive and gets apron bombed down for the mistake. Back in and Raju gets Manik’s mask off to reveal…a painted face.

Manik goes up top for a frog splash but dives into a cutter from Bey. A double Art of Finesse lets Bey cover Manik for two and everyone is down for a second. Raju is up first and ties Bey in the Tree of Woe, meaning Manik can come in with a springboard hurricanrana. The Detonation Kick connects with Bey making the save so he and Manik fight over a Tombstone.

Manik finally plants him but walks into a jumping knee from Raju. A kick to the face gives Raju two on Manik and everyone is down again. Raju is sent to the floor, leaving Manik to hit a springboard DDT on Bey. The frog splash hits Bey and Raju slides back in for two in a callback to what set this up. Raju throws Manik off the top but gets kicked in the head by Bey.

They go up top with Bey getting tied in the Tree of Woe again. Raju pulls Manik into a Crossface (which Striker says is a variation on the Regal Stretch, because, again, Striker tries too hard) until Bey makes the save. Manik rolls to the floor so Raju unloads with shots to Bey’s head, only to have Manik roll Raju up to retain at 13:52.

Rating: B. Now this was good as they were doing all of their spots in a hurry while making the match feel like a frenzy. That’s the kind of match you would want for a pay per view X-Division Title match and the show needed it pretty badly. Manik continues to be one of the best in-ring stars on the roster, but the painted face under the mask is a pretty weak way to keep things going.

Post match, Manik taunts Raju with the win.

Eddie Edwards tells Alisha that she can’t be involved in the Barbed Wire Massacre. She can’t be at risk because Eddie doesn’t know what is happening to him. Alisha promises not to go out there.

We recap Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie. Purrazzo is the amazing champion, Valkyrie used to be the amazing champion, the title match is on.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie

Purrazzo is defending and has Kimber Lee and Susan with her, while Taya has Decay. Taya knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away against the ropes. Purrazzo is knocked outside where Lee gets in a cheap shot and Susan starts recording Steve. The referee gets knocked down so it’s a big group ejection to leave us one on one. Striker is confused about whether the bell rang or not, because he was probably too busy making some reference to Georgia Championship Wrestling in 1983.

Back in and Purrazzo starts on the arm, including a Russian legsweep and a roll through into a Tequila Sunrise. Now it’s off to a kneebar so Taya has to go to the rope again. A DDT on the knee gets two but Taya is back up with chops and a spear for two. Purrazzo dropkicks the knee out but Taya runs her over again without much effort.

There’s a Curb Stomp into something like an STF, which Striker….actually doesn’t screw up (even a bad announcer finds the right move once a match). Back up and Taya can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl slam as Purrazzo takes her down into the Fujiwara Armbar. That’s switches into Cosa Nostra to retain the title at 11:35.

Rating: B-. I can go for watching these two doing their thing for a good while and that is what we got here. Purrazzo being able to pull someone into whatever painful hold she has at the moment and Taya can make almost anything work. This was exactly what it was supposed to be and I had a good time with it throughout. Above all else, it felt like a match that belonged on pay per view, which hasn’t been the case with everything else on the card so far.

Acey Romero comes up to John E. Bravo, who insists that Larry D. shot him. He calls Acey crazy but Acey found some of Larry’s Ring Rust cologne in a Knockouts bag. Bravo is intrigued. Sweet goodness WHY IS THIS STILL GOING???

We recap the fall of Ethan Page, who has gone rather insane and is feuding with his own alter ego, the Karate Man. Now it’s time for Page to fight himself.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We go cinematic (duh) and they fight in front of a green screen, Mortal Kombat style. Page punches and Karate Man kicks as the background keeps changing. Then Karate Man pulls out Page’s heart to end it at we’ll say 2:30. So Page was REALLY unhappy about this online and if this is what they cobbled together after what seems like a lot of work went into it, I can completely get that. This was a waste of time from what could have been an entertaining idea and Page deserved a better way to go out than a segment which is getting as much time as the Wrestle House fallout.

Don Callis comes up to Moose in the back and reminds him that he has a two year contract. Callis suggests that if Moose hurts Kenny Omega, the contract may be ruined. Moose doesn’t want to hear it and says he’s coming for the Impact World Title. And maybe Omega’s too. Callis: “S***.”

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards in Barbed Wire Massacre. They have feuded on and off for years now and this is the FINAL match, with Callihan having Ken Shamrock in his back pocket. Eddie has no one, as he has ordered his wife to stay away for her own safety.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

There are various barbed wire instruments around the ring, including one side of a cage with barbed wire on top/wrapped around it and various barbed wire weapons hanging from a wire above the top rope. Eddie avoids being driven into a barbed wire board in the corner, which falls over as they lock up. Sami is sent into the barbed wire in the ropes so Eddie whips out a barbed wire ring to press down onto Sami’s head. The board is on the mat but Sami is smart enough to push it out to the floor before he goes face first.

Eddie’s suicide dive (with a bit of a spin) sends him back first through the barbed wire board and Sami drops the Cactus Jack elbow for a bonus. Sami messes with some more barbed wire on the floor and takes it back inside for the slugout. Eddie gets dropped ribs first onto the wire and Sami whips him with a…..Nintendo 64 controller wrapped in barbed wire? I think I can go with this. Sami goes up but Eddie comes out with a backpack Stunner for the breather.

The Blue Thunder Bomb onto a barbed wire chair gets two on Sami but Eddie’s missed charge hits the cage wall. They hit each other in the head with barbed wire for a double knockdown so it’s time for a barbed wire kendo stick vs. the barbed wire bat. It’s better because they have the other’s signature weapon and it’s Sami dropping him onto the barbed wire board. Another barbed wire board is thrown in and Sami (mostly) bridges it between two chairs.

A super piledriver through the barbed wire board only gets two and there wasn’t even any drama on the kickout. I know it’s just a spot these days but can you at least try to have some drama in there? Sami loads up the bat to the chair on the face but Eddie kicks him away and hits the Boston Knee Party into a chair. The Emerald Flosion onto the barbed wire finishes Sami at 18:53.

Rating: B-. This is one where your individual tastes are certainly going to vary and that isn’t a big surprise. There were some completely ridiculous moments here but it felt like two people who hated each other wanting to hurt each other. The piledriver kickout was pretty ridiculous and I’m not a big fan of this kind of match in the first place, but it could have been a lot worse than what we got.

Rebellion is on April 24.

We recap the main event. Impact executive Don Callis brought in AEW World Champion Kenny Omega as part of some big elaborate plan which isn’t quite as epic as they think it is. Impact World Champion Rich Swann didn’t like it so Kenny hooked up with the Good Brothers against Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns. Alex Shelley is out for the six man though and Moose, Swann’s #1 contender and the man who hurt his best friend, is taking his place.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin

Don Callis is here too and handles Omega’s entrance (which Striker says is a moment fans will be telling their children about). Omega has a Bullet Club shirt (the Halloween edition for some reason) on, because we need to know New Japan history to understand the AEW World Champion’s reference in Impact Wrestling. Anderson drives Sabin into the corner to start and a shot to the face has Sabin in some trouble. An armdrag gets him right back out though and we have a standoff.

Moose and Gallows get in for the big man showdown with Moose knocking him around. Omega comes in, with Striker making both a hockey reference and saying that the Bullet Club reunion on Dynamite reminded us why we all love wrestling. It’s off to Anderson vs. Swann in a hurry with the latter snapping off a headscissors. Gallows and Omega are knocked to the floor and it’s a double dropkick to Anderson.

Moose adds a standing moonsault, with Striker saying that Moose now is the sport, a few seconds after talking about how amazing it was that the two World Champions are in a match together. Sabin gets taken into the corner so the villains can take over, including Omega hitting a backbreaker for two. Striker asks Brown if Omega is the best in the world and Brown seems to think so. There is NO MENTION AT ALL of the Impact Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION, who is in this same match, in case you needed an illustration of why Impact’s benefit from this Omega deal is rather limited.

Anderson grabs a chinlock on Sabin but the comeback sets up a double clothesline, allowing the tag to Omega and Swann (thankfully with Striker bringing Swann’s name in for the best wrestler in the world discussion). Everything breaks down and some assisted DDTs send the Brothers outside. Swann dives onto Omega but the frog splash is blocked back inside. Anderson adds a slam (with Sabin flipping him off), allowing Striker to talk about wrestling being a universal language.

The Kitaro Crusher gets two and a triple splash gets two on Swann. Back up and Swann manages a Pele to Omega and the hot tag brings in Moose. House is cleaned and the Omega BANG is mocked, setting up a triple boot to Omega in the corner. The discus lariat gets two on Omega (Striker: “HISTORY MADE TONIGHT!”) and now it’s Sabin in trouble in the corner for a change. Omega hits a Doctor Bomb for two on Sabin, who is right back up with a missile dropkick to Anderson.

Omega is up with the V Trigger to Swann but Moose catches him on top with a super Spanish Fly. Everyone is down again until Omega gets over for the hot tag to Gallows. The Boot of Doom gets two on Sabin with Swann making the save. Swann and Omega get the double tag for the big slugout with Omega getting the better of it. The other four fight outside until Moose pulls Omega off the top and into an electric chair.

Something close to a Doomsday Device gets two on Omega, with Callis teasing the save. Striker: “Some people think Callis has betrayed Impact Wrestling.” I actually had to sigh at how stupid that was so we’ll move on to Omega hitting the V Trigger on Swann. Some kicks put Omega down and the 450 gets two. The Magic Killer plants Swann and Moose has to make the save. Another V Trigger hits Moose and another V Trigger hits Swann, setting up the One Winged Angel for the pin at 20:26.

Rating: B. The wrestling itself was good, as expected, but it’s rather difficult to care about Impact when their World Champion is being presented as someone lucky enough to have Kenny Omega knee him in the face. Commentary here was a big love letter to AEW, which is being treated as the greatest thing ever as it reaches down to the unwashed masses of Impact. That may be true from a business standpoint, but why in the world is IMPACT acting like that is the case? It’s a good match and I think you know where this is heading, but could we act like Swann is close to Omega’s level? For five minutes maybe?

Omega and pals celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off rather badly but then it picked up a lot of steam just before the halfway point. The big matches worked rather well and completely saved the show, which is often how a show like this tends to go. They had a nice show, but there were some things that hurt it a bit, aside from the completely lackluster first hour or so.

First and foremost, the Omega worship was out of hand to start and is just getting worse. The main event didn’t make me want to see Swann vs. Omega. It made me think that Omega is treating Swann like a practice dummy, which is completely fitting for Omega. What it ISN’T fitting for is the commentary team, who seem to be in awe of Omega and treat their World Champion like a guy who won a contest. I know Omega is a bigger deal, but can we at least act like he might have trouble against the company’s World Champion?

Then you have Striker himself and…..I can’t believe it but he has gotten more annoying. Between acting like everything you see is the greatest thing that has ever happened, trying to turn every move into some brilliant strategy that ties back into some other move and name dropping EVERY SINGLE WRESTLER HE CAN THINK OF, Striker is one of the most irritating things I have ever seen on a wrestling show. It’s great to have someone who knows history, but there is a world of difference between sounding smart and being a distraction, which he was all night long.

Overall, the show did work well, but I’m worried about where this company is going in the future. They didn’t make some of their biggest stars look good in the main event and Striker is going to be as annoying as I could have ever imagined. There are some good things happening here, but if AEW is going to be a bigger presence, I’m going to be having flashbacks to New Japan coming in to Ring of Honor and leaving it as a near wasteland. They had a good show for the most part, but the future isn’t looking so bright.

Results

Decay b. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K – Tornado DDT to Kaleb With A K

Violent By Design b. Tommy Dreamer/Cousin Jake/Rhino – Piledriver to Deaner

Fire And Flava b. Havok/Nevaeh – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh

Matt Cardona b. Ace Austin via DQ when Madman Fulton interfered

Manik b. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey – Rollup to Raju

Deonna Purrazzo b. Taya Valkyrie – Cosa Nostra

Karate Man b. Ethan Page – Fatality

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Emerald Flosion onto a barbed wire board

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers b. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose – One Winged Angel to Swann

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show received the same amount of votes as 2001 and sounded intriguing so here’s a bonus redo. We’re back in Texas here with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels both in the Rumble, meaning good things should be happening. There’s also a well remembered John Cena vs. Umaga match, which should be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard look back at the history of the show, including what it means to win and go to Wrestlemania. Well that’s certainly a big deal. The rest of the card (not so big of a deal) is discussed as well, mainly focusing on Cena vs. Umaga.

We hear from all six announcers because WWE thinks we need to have six announcers. Just wait until there’s basically a press row.

MNM vs. Hardy Boyz

The Hardys had made a comeback late in 2006 and their main rivalry was with MNM. Joey Mercury is coming in with a shattered nose, meaning he’s got a face mask. MNM has Melina in their corner and just….wow. That’s really all that needs to be said. Matt comes in with a dislocated jaw and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion, showing you how balanced the team was. Nitro jumps Matt from behind to start and Mercury comes in to go after Matt’s injured face.

Matt takes over though and brings Jeff in, meaning it’s time for the WOOing from the crowd. It must be a North Carolina thing. Jeff’s atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs gets two and it’s back to Matt. Johnny sends him into the buckle though and we’re down to the beating. A good looking/hard kick to the head has Matt in trouble as MNM stays on the face for the sake of revenge. Makes sense actually and the kind of thing you wouldn’t see a lot of the time.

Melina hits the screeching because…that sound made me lose my train of thought so we’ll go to Matt being caught in a chinlock. Mercury misses a middle rope elbow though and it’s off to Jeff to speed things back up. A facebuster gets two on Johnny, followed by a Whisper in the Wind for the same with Mercury having to make a save. The Hardys hit their top rope legdrop/splash combination but Jeff is banged up and Nitro stays on the ribs.

We hit the waistlock for a bit until Jeff reverses into a rollup for two. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors as you certainly can’t fault their psychology so far. Jeff finally backdrops his way to freedom but, of course, the referee doesn’t see it so Matt stays in trouble. Double teaming doesn’t work so well though as Jeff sends MNM into each other, meaning it’s off to Matt so house can be cleaned.

The bulldog/clothesline combination gets two but Jeff has to break up the Snapshot (elevated DDT) as everything breaks down. Poetry in Motion is broken up and Nitro’s rollup gets two (and more screeching). The Twist of Fate into the Swanton (with Nitro rolling over so it can hit) gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Good but not great match here as the Hardys were only going to be able to do so much at this point. I’m not sure what the point was in having MNM lose the matches like this when you need to build younger teams up but at least they were pushing the heck out of the Hardys while they could. Jeff would of course break free and go on to some huge things, but it was WAY too early to realize that yet.

Jonathan Coachman (Raw Executive Assistant) and Teddy Long (Smackdown General Manager) are holding the Rumble drawing (SWEET). After the standard bickering over who will win, Edge comes in to pick his number but first we look at Kelly Kelly (my goodness the WWE women were stunning back then).

Edge’s partner Randy Orton (Raw Tag Team Champions) comes in to draw his own number. Orton threatens to eliminate Edge and we get the standard “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours” exchange. King Booker comes in to say tell me you didn’t just say that. I miss these segments and I have no idea why they don’t exist anymore. You can get some nice character development in all of a few seconds with no effort put in. Probably not high concept enough for WWE or something.

We recap Test vs. Bobby Lashley. Test wanted a title shot and is on a roll so he gets to be the sacrificial lamb to the monster champion. It sounds good, but it’s Test in 2007.

ECW Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Test is challenging while Lashley does the Brock Lesnar jump to the apron entrance, complete with the same pyro. They start a little slowly until Lashley spears Test down, sending the Canadian bailing to the ropes. Back up and Lashley avoids a charge and snaps off a great looking t-bone suplex. If he could have talked, he would have block Lesnar’s career out of the water.

With the wrestling not working at all, Test tries posting Lashley instead to actually take over. Back in and we hit the armbar for a very, very long time, because that’s exactly what you would expect in an ECW match (To be fair, people like Lashley and Test never would have been in ECW to begin with. And there’s the whole WWE aspect so maybe the armbar isn’t as big of an issue as it seems. Maybe that’s enough filler to get through this armbar and….oh sweet we’re on to something else.).

Test gets suplexed again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Test to get in the big boot for two. That’s his big shot so Test tries a TKO, only to get countered with a belly to belly. A clothesline puts Test on the floor….and that’s a countout. Egads this needs a rematch? For TEST? Someone thinks this is worthy of a second match?

Rating: F. Just no all around here, between a big power guy using an armbar for such a long stretch of the match, Test in general, the stupid ending and thinking that a pay per view as big as the Royal Rumble isn’t enough of a stage to end this nothing feud. Terrible match here and it didn’t even feel like a TV main event.

Lashley beats Test up again. Why in the world was this not a clean pin? Lashley pinned him in an even shorter match on the following episode of ECW TV, so what was the point here?

John Cena’s ribs are banged up but he’ll defend the title anyway. Vince comes in and mocks You Can’t See Me, saying he won’t be seeing Cena as WWE Champion after tonight. Funny enough line, but Vince vs. Cena doesn’t do anything for me.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Mr. Kennedy winning a Beat the Clock Challenge to earn the shot at Batista. Kennedy cheated Undertaker out of the shot so Undertaker went after him, only to hit Batista by mistake. That would be saved for Wrestlemania XXIII though, with Kennedy getting the shot and bragging about beating six World Champions leading up to lucky #7 tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Batista is defending and easily tosses Kennedy around with raw power. Back up and some right hands stagger Batista as JBL sings Kennedy’s praises. A suplex takes Kennedy down again though and it’s time to head outside. Kennedy gets in a shot to the leg to slow Batista a bit and it’s time to go to work back inside. We hit a reverse Figure Four of all things (I haven’t seen that in years) until Kennedy gets caught in the ropes. A running boot in the corner keeps Batista in trouble as this has been almost one sided so far.

Kennedy grabs a half crab to stay on the leg for a good while until letting go, allowing Batista to snap off a spinebuster. After some holding the knee, Batista starts the comeback with clotheslines and a backdrop, followed by a Kenton Bomb (Kennedy’s Regal Roll). The Batista Bomb is broken up though and a ref bump allows Kennedy to get in a low blow. Kennedy’s neckbreaker (finisher) gets no count but the fans are chanting for Kennedy. For some reason Kennedy goes to the middle rope but dives into a clothesline. The Batista Bomb retains the title.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here as they didn’t bother having Kennedy trying to do more than he could have done. Batista wasn’t exactly great against smaller guys so there was definitely a styles clash here. At least the match had a point and felt like a TV main event, which is all this should have been. The fans reacted to Batista’s win though and seemed to like Kennedy, even if this really didn’t rocket off the launch pad.

JBL is FURIOUS over the non-count off the neckbreaker.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel try to draw a number when Hornswoggle (nearly feral at this point) comes in to do the same. Coach makes a short joke and gets bitten and attacked. Great Khali comes in for the visual joke, followed by grabbing three balls. He leaves two, which Kelly Kelly picks up. You know the joke and you know what Ron Simmons comes in to say.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena escaped with a fluke win at New Year’s Revolution but Umaga’s manager Armando Alejandro Estrada decided the rematch should be a Last Man Standing match. Umaga injured Cena’s ribs coming in for a pretty simple but perfectly acceptable story.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Cena is defending, Umaga has manager Armando Alexjandro Estrada in his corner and it’s Last Man Standing. It’s almost weird to hear Cena get a pretty strong face reaction but it’s still in full force here. Cena tries to slug away and even hits a jawbreaker, only to have a single shot to the ribs put him on the floor. Umaga sends him into the steps and it’s time to knock Cena up the aisle.

For some reason Cena tries to send Umaga head first into the apron and is promptly beaten down for his efforts. Serves him right. Back in and Cena charges into a clothesline for an eight count. Umaga throws the steps in but Cena snaps Umaga’s neck over the top and throws the steps over the top and down onto Umaga’s face for another near win. It looked great if nothing else and that’s what they were going for there.

Back in and Umaga, whose head is hard enough to survive having steps thrown at them, grabs a bearhug into a belly to belly. Umaga puts the steps up in the corner but the running Umaga Attack only hits steel. Another steps to the head shot drops Umaga again but Cena’s high crossbody (Just….why?) is countered into a swinging Rock Bottom (Oh….that’s why.). A low blog gets Cena out of trouble and he hits the Throwback onto the steps. The entire finishing sequence is initiated onto the steps but Umaga is too heavy for the FU, sending Cena head first into the steps and busting him open in the process.

That’s only good for nine and the fans think Cena sucks (now that’s more like it). Cena somehow gets all fired up and tells Umaga to bring it, meaning a bunch of right hands and a Samoan drop to crush Cena all over again. So I guess that’s Umaga bringing it. Cena gets tied in the Tree of Woe but Umaga misses a running headbutt. A whip sends Umaga into the post, followed by a heck of a monitor shot to the head. I mean, it shouldn’t work on Umaga but that’s what they do around here.

For some reason Cena dives at him and gets driven back first into the post to change control again. You would think Cena would learn at some point. It’s time to load up the announcers’ tables and since there are three of them, Cena is laid on the third one for a running splash but Cena moves, likely clued in by the running Samoan charging at him. That’s only good for nine so Estrada unhooks a rope for the sake of setting up the finish. The turnbuckle is ripped off and Cena grabs an FU before choking Umaga out with the rope in the STF to retain at 23:10.

Rating: B+. There wasn’t exactly any subtlety in this one and there’s nothing wrong with that. Last Man Standing matches are designed to be wild brawls with both guys beating the heck out of each other which is exactly what we got here. Cena had to go to another place to retain the title here and that’s the kind of match he needed to boost him to another level. Really fun brawl here with Umaga playing his role perfectly as the monster that has to be stopped somehow.

Wrestlemania ad.

Sandman goes to pick his number but sprays beer everywhere instead. Ric Flair comes in and Kelly hits on him. The lights go out and the rest of Extreme Expose (Brooke Adams and Layla) come in to dance. Again: back in the day when there were jobs for sexy women whose job was nothing more than to be sexy and dance in tiny outfits. There is something to be said about the old days.

We look back at various famous Rumble moments and winners in a nice touch as this is the 20^th Rumble. That being said, how many times can we have THE MOST STAR STUDDED ROYAL RUMBLE IN HISTORY???

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (That’s the second time he’s been #1. In five appearances he entered #3, #1, #5, #30 and #1 for some of the worst luck ever in this thing.) and Finlay in at #2 in what could be a very interesting midcard match if they were given some time. The promos alone could be interesting. Finlay easily wins a battle of the forearms and catches Flair with a backdrop. A rake to the eyes gets Flair out of trouble and it’s Kenny Dykstra (a twenty year old who has given Flair some issues before) in at #3.

Kenny knocks Flair down but has to save himself from Finlay. Some chops cut Kenny off and it’s Matt Hardy in at #4. Still not much going on aside from a bunch of right hands so it’s Edge in at #5 for some spears. Flair is knocked through the ropes to the floor and comes up with a pair of chairs. Matt cuts Edge off with a clothesline but Edge is still up to get rid of Flair without much effort. Edge tosses Dykstra as well and Tommy Dreamer is in at #6. Matt can’t get Edge out as the announcers joke about how Lawler survived for a long time by hiding underneath the ring. To be fair, it was a smart idea.

Sabu is in at #7 and sets up a table at ringside to fulfill general expectations. Dreamer clotheslines him out of the air though as Jerry impresses the commentators by remembering all of Sabu’s nicknames. Cruiserweight Champion (for a YEAR now) Gregory Helms is in at #8 as this isn’t exactly lighting the world up so far. More eliminations are teased but there’s just nothing going on at the moment and it’s really starting to show. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and nearly gets Matt out but can’t quite put him near the tables.

Matt can’t suplex Shelton out either and it’s Kane in at #10 (CLEAN THE RING OUT!), giving us a group of Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Dreamer, Sabu, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. House is cleaned in a hurry with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to Helms and a chokeslam to Edge. Dreamer and Sabu, the latter via a chokeslam through the table, are tossed without much effort (good, as they were nothing more than filler anyway as no one took ECW seriously at this point). CM Punk, not yet a big star, is in at #11 and goes right for Edge which just feels right. We’re getting back into the same lull we were in earlier, just with some bigger names.

Finlay punches Punk down but can’t get him out (I’m as shocked as you are). King Booker is in at #12 and quickly eliminates Helms. Matt and Finlay can’t get rid of Kane so people keep running around and punch each other until Super Crazy (complete with lawnmower noises to start his entrance) is in at #13. More eliminations are teased with no eliminations so Jeff Hardy comes in at #14, hopefully firing things up a bit. We get some double teaming but NO ELIMINATIONS, even when they get in a fight with Kane.

The Sandman, coming through the crowd, is in at #15, cracks some people with the kendo stick, and is eliminated by Booker in about fifteen seconds. Jeff and Punk both manage to survive and it’s Randy Orton (with the sweet Burn in My Light theme) in at #16. Orton and Edge immediately get together to eliminate Crazy and both Hardys, thankfully clearing some of the ring out. US Champion Chris Benoit is in at #17 and slugs away at Booker before grabbing some German suplexes on various people. There’s very little to talk about between these entrances aside from kicking and the occasional suplex.

Rob Van Dam is in at #18 and starts firing off the kicks. Kane gets rid of Booker, who gets back in and dumps Kane like a royal jerk. The fight continues at ringside as Viscera, complete with smoking jacket, is in at #19. Rob hammers on Finlay as the announcers make a bunch of fat jokes about Viscera. Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. It also gives us another section of NOTHING HAPPENING until Benoit throws Shelton over the top but since that might be interesting, Benjamin gets back in.

Kevin Thorn is in at #21 giving us another meaningless body in there. A dropkick knocks Nitro into Viscera but some clotheslines can’t get rid of the big man. Hardcore Holly comes in at #22 and the crowd is just DONE. How boring of a match does it take to kill the freaking Royal Rumble crowd? Rob hangs on off a catapult to the apron as there are way too many people in the ring as we wait on someone to come in and clean house.

A bunch of people can’t get rid of Viscera so it’s hometown boy Shawn Michaels in at #23 and PLEASE HELP US!!! Shawn hits a Thesz press on Finlay (the only person not trying to get rid of Viscera) and dumps him without much effort. Viscera is finally dumped after a superkick from Shawn and everyone else getting together. Shawn gets rid of Shelton and somehow the ring is still overcrowded. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit eliminates Nitro. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 to really bring up the energy.

Benoit gets rid of Thorn as well and Rob can’t find someone to kick. MVP is in at #26 and dang I missed that clock entrance. Rob dropkicks Masters out as they’re doing a good job of keeping the total about the same at worst and going down when they can. Some right hands from Orton can’t get rid of Punk and it’s Carlito in at lucky #27. JBL insults Cole as is his custom while Shawn is put to the apron and BARELY hangs on in a spot that wakes the crowd up a bit. Great Khali is in at #28 and he has get rid of a bunch of people. Everyone gets chopped down with Holly being the only one eliminated.

Miz (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) is in at #29 and Khali gets rid of him in short order. Van Dam, Punk, Carlito, Chavo and Benoit all go out at Khali’s hands and it’s a Punjabi Plunge to Shawn. There’s one name left and there’s the gong to give fans hope over Khali. Of course it’s Undertaker in at #30, giving us a final group of Edge, Orton, Shawn, MVP, Khali and Undertaker. The giant slugout is on with Undertaker getting the better of it and clotheslining Khali out to REALLY wake the fans up.

Old School hits MVP and we’re down to four in a hurry. MVP grabs a chair but Orton takes it away and caves in Undertaker’s head. Edge teases spearing Orton but Randy has to catch Shawn with an RKO, sending him underneath the ropes to the floor. A bloody Undertaker gets beaten down by Edge and Orton but of course comes back with right hands and running clotheslines in the corner. The double clothesline puts them down again and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot on Edge.

A chokeslam on Orton is broken up with a spear and Edge blasts Undertaker with the chair. JBL points out the problem that knocking him down makes it even harder to throw him out, which is the only smart point he’s made all night. A Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn comes back in to get rid of Orton and Edge. Shawn collapses and it’s Undertaker sitting up, closely followed by Shawn’s nip up and you it’s on now.

Undertaker misses a charge in the corner and Shawn hammers away but gets whipped hard over the buckles. Shawn hangs on with one arm (like he did in 1995) and punches his way out as you can feel the energy here. Another Flair Flip in the corner puts Shawn on the apron but Undertaker misses a running boot and winds up on the apron. Shawn’s running forearm can’t get rid of him and a second attempt eats an elbow, allowing Undertaker to get back in.

Shawn grabs a swinging neckbreaker and both guys are down again. That means it’s time for the slugout as the fans are almost entirely behind Shawn. A big boot cuts Shawn down but he hangs on the apron again. Undertaker puts him on top and they slug it out with Shawn doing some of the best milking of the drama that you’ll ever see. Shawn FINALLY knocks him back to the mat and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is blocked though and it’s a chokeslam to put Shawn down again. Somehow Shawn pops up with another superkick and they’re both down for what feels like the fifth time. Shawn tries another superkick with Undertaker against the ropes (how Shawn won in 1996) but gets backdropped out to the floor to give Undertaker the win, making him the first #30 entrant to ever win.

Rating: C-. Shawn and Undertaker just came as close as you can get to saving a really boring match with a ten minute segment. That was some of the best drama you’ll ever see and you could actually feel the drama at the level you almost never get in the Rumble, right up there with Hogan vs. Warrior back in 1990. Absolutely incredible finish there and they would have been crazy to not run that match at Wrestlemania at some point. It took two years but I’d say it worked well to put it mildly.

The rest of the Rumble though….egads. This was a wreck with WAY too many stretches of people laying around and doing almost nothing at all. You shouldn’t have more than eight or nine people in the match but for some reason they had over ten in there multiple times. There was almost nothing in there until Undertaker came in and that’s WAY too late to make this work. It doesn’t help that almost no big story for the first eighty percent of the match, which really makes the match a chore to sit through. Just check out the ending though because that stuff is incredible.

Shawn looks like he’s about to cry and Undertaker points at him. Undertaker soaks in the victory and does the pose at the Wrestlemania sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The ending of the Rumble helps this a lot and the Last Man Standing match is great but the rest of the show just wasn’t working at all. This wasn’t the best time for the company as they were trying to develop some midcard talent but it wasn’t quite there yet. It was still a good show but there was a lot to be desired, especially in the Rumble. Give the Rumble a better middle and this show goes way up. As it is though, it’s just pretty good.

Ratings Comparison

Hardy Boyz vs. MNM

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: F

Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Umaga

Original: C

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

My jaw kept falling lower and lower with each of those original ratings. The Rumble rating just shouldn’t have been that high either time though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/26/royal-rumble-count-up-2007-the-best-spot-finally-wins/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2007-the-battle-of-texas/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antoino, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re back in Texas here and the main question is which Texas guy is winning the Rumble. The main change from last year is that ECW is around now and get to have seven guys in the Rumble because their roster isn’t deep enough to support ten. Other than that we’ve got Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match and Batista vs. Kennedy because Kennedy gets a lot of title shots. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th Rumble so you know the theme of the opening video already. The other matches get a little hype as well but the Rumble dominates, as it should.

MNM vs. Hardys

Mercury had his face shattered at Armageddon in a ladder match and tonight is about revenge. Jeff is IC Champion here and Matt was given a Snapshot (MNM’s elevated DDT finisher) on the exposed concrete recently. Matt and Nitro start things off but it’s quickly off to Mercury. He goes for Matt’s dislocated jaw but lets Nitro back in for some shots to the ribs. Matt comes back with punches of his own to slow Mercury down in the corner.

Jeff comes in and speeds things up before hitting an atomic drop and legdrop to split the legs of Nitro. Back to Matt who is rubbing his face a lot. A neckbreaker gets two on Nitro but he comes back with a shot to Matt’s jaw to take him right back down. Mercury comes in and slugs away as Matt is playing Ricky Morton for a bit. Back to Nitro for some choking on the ropes and it’s already back to Joey.

Melina does that ear piercing scream of hers and Mercury goes after Matt’s jaw again. Off to a chinlock followed by a hair pull to send Matt to the mat again. Mercury goes to the middle rope but misses an elbow, allowing for the tags to Jeff and Nitro. The sitout gordbuster gets two as everything breaks down. A double suplex puts Nitro down and the Hardys go up for a legdrop from Matt and a splash from Jeff, but the latter hits knees on the way down.

Mercury comes in off the tag and gets two off a knee to the ribs. Nitro does exactly the same before sticking on the ribs for a bit more. Jeff grabs a quick rollup on the incoming Mercury but Joey goes right back to the ribs. Nitro comes in and does the same as MNM continues to keep tagging in and out very quickly. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Jeff fights out pretty quickly. He still can’t make the tag but finally backdrops Nitro down and makes the tag….which isn’t seen. I love that spot.

Jeff hits a mule kick to take Mercury down and FINALLY makes the hot tag to Matt. Things speed up a lot and Matt fires off elbows to everyone named M or N. A combination bulldog and clothesline takes MNM down for two followed by the yodeling elbow to the back of Nitro’s head. There’s Poetry in Motion to Mercury but one to Nitro misses, as Johnny grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two on Matt. The Side Effect puts Nitro down but Mercury spears Matt to the floor. As he went through the ropes though, Jeff made a blind tag and hits the Swanton on Nitro for the pin.

Rating: B. This took a long time to get going but it was building up to a nice finish. This was old school tag team stuff and that’s hard to screw up. MNM was getting a good rub off the Hardys who were as much of a nostalgia act as you could have at this point. Good stuff here and a hot opener, at least after the tag to Matt.

Coach and Teddy talk trash about brand dominance. Edge comes in to draw and runs into Kelly Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. Edge’s condescending talking to Kelly is hilarious stuff. Orton comes in to draw and threatens to throw his tag title partner out if need be. Edge: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Booker walks in and comedy ensues.

Wrestlemania promo. I liked that All Grown Up campaign.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley pulls Test back in and beats him up, which makes you wonder WHY DID THEY NOT DO THIS BEFORE???

Cena gets his broken ribs looked at when Vince comes in to see if Cena wants to forfeit. Vince says he can’t see (get it?) Cena as champion after tonight….and that’s it. I don’t remember them having an issue at this point but whatever.

We recap Mr. Kennedy (Anderson) vs. Batista, which is just Kennedy winning a Beat the Clock challenge and having a great record against former world champions.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Kennedy slaps Batista to start and takes over as he tries to tie Batista up. Batista slugs him down and gets two off a suplex and we head outside. Kennedy spears/shoves Batista into the steps, injuring Batista’s knee in the process. We get into a regular “hurt the big man’s knee” match which is the smartest thing they could do here. A reverse Figure Four has Batista in trouble but Kennedy gets caught holding the rope.

A running kick to Batista’s face in the corner has the champion in trouble again and a knee to the head gets two. Off to a half crab for a minute or so before Batista fights up and hits a spinebuster to put both guys down. Kennedy kicks him in the face but Batista Hulks Up. There’s a weak slam as the knee is giving out on the champion.

Batista hits a Regal Roll (Kennedy used that a lot) of all things but Kennedy hits the knee to break up the Batista Bomb. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count after Kennedy’s neckbreaker. A DDT gets two and JBL is LOSING IT. The fans chant for Kennedy as he goes to the middle rope, only to jump into a clothesline followed by a Batista Bomb to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The psychology was there from Kennedy but Batista didn’t really go along with it. I’m not saying he didn’t sell, but at the end of the day this was only eleven minutes long which isn’t enough time to tell the story they were going for. Also Kennedy didn’t have the Mic Check yet so he didn’t have anything to finish Batista with and everyone knew it. Not a bad match but they needed more than they had here.

Kevin Thorn draws his number. He and Ariel leave and Hornswoggle comes in to terrorize the tumbler. Apparently he’s in the Rumble too and attacks Coach for good measure. Khali comes in and scares Horny off. Kelly makes a stupid joke about holding balls, drawing in Ron Simmons for his usual line.

The Marine is on DVD.

Wrestlemania is coming and Saliva, the band that does the theme song, is in the front row.

We recap Cena vs. Umaga. Cena escaped the last PPV with the title and gave Umaga his first loss so tonight it’s last man standing. Cena is coming into this with bad ribs.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Cena is defending and this is last man standing. Cena pounds away to start but Umaga barely moves. Umaga gets in a shot to the ribs and Cena falls to the outside, clutching his ribs. The champ gets sent into the steps and it’s all Umaga in the early going. They slug it out in the aisle and all of a sudden Cena’s punches work better. He tries to ram Umaga face first into the apron but Umaga screams and hits Cena in the ribs again.

Back in and Cena is in even more trouble with Umaga pounding on the ribs. A clothesline puts Cena down and Umaga brings in the steps. Cena knocks him off the apron though and throws the steps down onto Umaga’s (hands covering) head. It looked a lot better when Kane did it because you couldn’t see the hands but whatever. That draws a six count but more importantly it allows Cena to get a breather.

Umaga superkicks Cena down and it’s off to a bearhug. Since there are no submissions, Umaga lets Cena go and brings in some more steps. The steps are set up in the corner but Cena avoids the running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA AND NOT RIKISHI!!! SCREW YOU WWE ANNOUNCERS!!!) and blasts Umaga in the head with the steps. That only gets seven so Cena goes up and jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom, drawing some loud screams from the champ.

The Samoan cannonballs down onto Cena’s ribs but Cena finally knees him in the crotch to slow Umaga down. The Protobomb sends Umaga onto the steps but only gets about five as Cena hits the Shuffle to break the count. Cena tries the FU but Umaga’s weight causes Cena to fall face first into the steps. John is busted open so the fans tell him that he sucks. Ignore the fact that almost no one else could get a match this good out of Umaga I guess.

Cena gets up at eight and gets punched in the face some more, only to start Hulking Up. He pounds away on Umaga but walks into a Samoan Drop, driving the ribs and Cena’s shoulder into the mat. The Samoan Spike is blocked (for the life of me I do not get why they picked a thumb to the neck for Umaga’s finisher. The guy is a MONSTER and he pokes you in the neck?) so Umaga headbutts Cena down instead.

Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe but Cena sits up in the corner to avoid a running headbutt. The top rope Fameasser takes Umaga down and Cena sends him shoulder first into the post. They head to the floor and Cena is covered in blood. With Umaga still laying over the ropes, Cena BLASTS HIM with a monitor to the head to put him down. Back to the floor but Umaga catches a diving Cena and drives him back first into the post.

Umaga puts Cena on the announce table and runs along the other tables, only to miss a splash and crash onto the ground. That gets nine and Cena has no idea what to do next. Estrada, Umaga’s manager, unhooks the top rope and tells Umaga to use the metal pole to blast Cena in the head. Cena catches a charging Umaga with the FU and hits him in the head with the pole. He hooks a kind of STF with the ring rope and Umaga is passing out. Umaga starts fighting up so Cena chokes him even more. FINALLY Umaga is out and Cena retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was a FIGHT which is what a last man standing match is supposed to do. I was digging the story they were telling here with Cena fighting a savage but having to become a savage himself to beat him. The fans didn’t like him at this point, but screw them as would you really rather have Umaga as champion? This was one of many awesome matches Cena had in this stretch, but OH NO kids like him so he must suck right? Give me a break.

Sandman draws his number and has a beer. Flair comes in to draw and gets hit on by Kelly. We get adult music and Extreme Expose comes in to dance with Flair, complete with club lighting. Not that I’m complaining about Layla, Brooke (Tessmacher) and Kelly dancing in barely there outfits, but WHY DID THAT HAPPEN???

Rumble video. Not much else to say here as I’m sure you get the idea by now. This is more of a history package than a hype video for this year. The theme of this year is how star studded it is. Seven guys are from ECW so I question this premise.

Royal Rumble

Flair is #1 (second time for that along with drawing #3 one year. He really doesn’t have a great record in these things) and Finlay is #2. Finlay drops Flair with a quick shoulder and we have ninety second intervals here. Flair chops away in the corner but gets backdropped down for his efforts. Kenny Dykstra of Spirit Squad fame and currently in a small feud with Flair is #3. Flair chops away at him in the corner and Finlay tries to dump Kenny.

Everyone hits everyone for awhile until Matt Hardy is #4. That’s a pretty diverse group of guys to start things off. The young and old guys pair off with Finlay and Kenny taking over. Matt takes over on Finlay and Edge is #5. Hardy avoids a spear and hits a Twist of Fate but gets taken down with a double clothesline with Kenny. Ric throws in a chair but Edge easily throws him out instead. Kenny tries to take credit despite doing nothing, so Edge throws him out too.

Tommy Dreamer is #6 and takes down Edge of all people before getting beaten up in the corner by Finlay. Sabu is #7 and actually doesn’t bring any weapons with him. Instead he finds a table under the ring and sets it up at ringside before going in to fight Dreamer. Nothing of note happens for now so here’s Gregory Helms at #8. Finlay is sent to the apron but he hangs onto the bottom rope.

The Irishman almost sends Sabu through the table but Sabu hangs on. Now Helms teases going through it but saves himself as well. Shelton Benjamin is #9 and goes for Hardy. Benjamin and Finlay both nearly go out but somehow both survive. They’ve teased that table being broken about five times already. Kane is #10 and immediately pounds away on everyone. There’s a chokeslam to Edge and an elimination for Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through the table. Law of wrestling #1: you set up the table, you’re going through it.

CM Punk is #11 and is immediately called boring by JBL for not smoking and drinking. Finlay sends CM to the apron but can’t get him out. There’s the running knee to Edge’s head in the corner from Punk but again he can’t get an elimination. King Booker is #12 and dumps Helms pretty quickly. We’ve currently got Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Shelton, Kane, Booker and Punk.

Super Crazy is #13 and is knocked down by Kane before he can do much else. JBL mentions that Mil Mascaras owes him money, which he said on Raw a few months ago. I wonder if there’s something to that. Booker and Finlay go at it until Jeff Hardy is #14. The Hardys team up on Finlay (smart) before shifting over to Edge. Now they go after Kane for some reason and hit Poetry in Motion. Sandman is #15 and is gone in as many seconds thanks to Booker.

Jeff skins the cat to save himself and Orton is #16. Hopefully he and Edge (tag champions) can clear things out a bit. Yep there goes Super Crazy and Matt takes the backbreaker. Rated-RKO throws out both Hardys and things are a lot clearer now. Benoit is #17 and fires away chops at everyone. Finlay takes a German as Punk is teetering on the apron. Now Benjamin takes a German and RVD is #18.

Van Dam fires off kicks all around and Kane throws Booker out. Booker, ever the jerk, goes back in and throws out Kane. He beats on the Big Bald on the floor which didn’t set up a Mania match surprisingly enough. Viscera is #19 as things slow down a bit. We’ve got Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam and Viscera in there at the moment. Nitro is #20 and things are getting too full again.

Punk gets crushed in the corner by Viscera for awhile and Shelton hangs on by inches. That was impressive. Kevin Thorn is #21 and no one is really doing anything at the moment. Hardcore Holly is #22 and that’s not going to pick anything up. A bunch of guys go after Viscera and Shawn is #23. He’s in DX mode and you know he’s the hometown boy here. Shawn hits a Thesz Press on Finlay and clotheslines him out before superkicking Viscera, allowing a huge group of guys to dump him.

Shelton is gone at Shawn’s hands too. The ring is FINALLY cleared out a bit now until Masters is #24. Nitro goes up top like a schmuck and gets dumped by Benoit. Chavo Guerrero is #25 and Benoit dumps Thorn in the same fashion that he dumped Big Show in 04. Van Dam goes up, can’t find anyone to kick, and hops back down. MVP is #26 as Orton tries to dump Punk.

Nothing happens AGAIN until Carlito is #27. There are way too many people in the ring again. Shawn is sent to the apron but you know he’s not going out yet. Great Khali is #28 and swings his arms a lot on the way to the ring. The match stops as Khali gets in and he beats everyone down. Khali dumps Holly as Miz is #29. He lasts a good seven seconds and there’s only one man left. Van Dam is thrown out as are Punk and Carlito. Chavo gets dumped as well and Shawn gets chokebombed. Things look hopeless but heeeeeeeeeeere’s Taker at #30.

This gives us a final group of Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Taker. Taker and Khali slug it out with everyone else down. The Dead Man finally puts Khali out with a clothesline and everyone else gets beaten down as well. MVP is eliminated and tries to get a chair but Orton takes it away and cracks Taker in the head with it. Edge tries to spear Orton down but gets scared off by the chair. Instead of going after Edge though, Orton hits the RKO on Shawn to send him down to the floor but not out.

Rated-RKO goes after Taker and we’re in a handicap match at this point. Taker fights back but can’t hit a double chokeslam. He can however hit a double clothesline while being busted open. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Edge but as Taker goes to chokeslam Orton, Edge spears Taker down. A BIG chair shot to the head drops Taker again and it’s Conchairto time. Shawn comes back in and backdrops Orton out before superkicking Edge out to get us down to two.

The fans are WAY into this all of a sudden as Taker sits up. He looks over at Shawn and there’s the nipup. The showdown is on and Shawn pounds away in the corner to no avail. Shawn kicks the chair to the floor and gets launched into the corner so Taker can pound away even more. Shawn is knocked upside down in the corner but punches his way to safety. Shawn does a Flair Flip to the apron but Taker misses a big boot, sending HIM to the apron as well. Shawn charges into an elbow and both guys are back in.

A neckbreaker puts Taker down but Shawn can’t follow up. They slug it out and Taker kicks Shawn’s head off to take over again. Taker lifts him for a suplex and wisely puts him on the apron instead of down onto the mat. Shawn fights back and goes up, only to get crotched. Taker loads up a superplex but gets knocked down so Shawn can hit the flying elbow. Chin Music is caught and there’s a chokeslam but Taker can’t follow up. The tombstone is countered into a superkick and both guys are down again. Taker catches another superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, nearly silencing the fans in the process.

Rating: C+. The ending stuff starting with Khali cleaning house until Taker dumps Shawn out is GREAT, but until then it’s pretty dull with way too much laying around and too many people in there. The ending here is pretty questionable too as Shawn is in his hometown and would wind up being in the actual main event of Mania anyway. Taker would beat Batista for the Smackdown Title, which makes you wonder why they didn’t have Shawn win for the big hometown win here, as the results literally would have been THE EXACT SAME THING. Not a great Rumble at all but the ending helps it a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. There are two long matches here and both of them are solid enough so I can’t complain much here. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that is bad is bad, so while it’s not terrible, this definitely isn’t a must see show. Shawn and Taker are of course great together and would have some masterpieces at Mania in the coming years, but they couldn’t make this a great show on their own.

Ratings Comparison

Hardys vs. MNM

Original: B-

Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Original: D-

Redo: D

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Original: B-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Umaga

Original: C

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C+

Man I REALLY liked that ending last time. I have no idea what I was thinking on the world title matches though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/26/royal-rumble-count-up-2007-the-best-spot-finally-wins/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: JBL, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jim Ross

Well, there are two main differences here. First off is ECW is back. They’re still complete and utter crap as they tried to be a legit place and not AAA, so take that for what it’s worth. The other thing is Angle is gone, having went to TNA where he still is today in a SHOCKER. That’s not hyperbole either as it legitimately was a stunning turn of events. This was the first real step for TNA to show that they were legit and it’s still an awesome moment to this day.

As for the people still on Vince’s payroll, we have Batista vs. Kennedy and Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match, both of which are of course for the titles. If nothing else these are perfect Rumble title matches so let’s get to this show. Also, something historic happens here which I’ll get to later on.

The intro is the standard thing about the title matches and the Rumble, with the main focus being on the Rumble and Cena. That’s fine. They do however mess up and say that the Road to Mania has been around for 20 years now. No it hasn’t, as the Mania tie in didn’t become official until 93. Look back at the first two shows: Duggan won, and wound up losing in the first round of the tournament.

In 89 Studd won and was a guest referee at Mania. This may be relatively common knowledge, but just in case someone here hasn’t noticed, Vince likes to rewrite history every now and then. This is being billed as the most star studded Rumble in history. I haven’t looked at the entrants but I’m guessing that’s not true given some of the shows I’ve seen. Oh and the ECW guys are Extremists here.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is amazing looking to say the least. I know I often say that there’s no real point to this feud, but in this case there really isn’t much of one. MNM had broken up as the Hardys had reunited but rather than as a team they’re more like two singles guys teaming, which I usually hate but the history together makes it ok.

The Hardys were on a Survivor Series team together so they restarted the team and for the awful December 2 Dismember show (we’ll get to that someday) they threw out an open challenge which MNM accepted. This was supposed to be a one night reunion so the next month when they teamed up again in a 4 team TLC match, Mercury took one of the sickest bumps ever which was completely by accident.

Paul London did the seesaw thing with a ladder where he jumped on one side to launch the other up and the corner slammed into Mercury’s face and completely shattered his nose and part of his eye. It looked awful and he’s still got a protective mask on. Jeff is the IC Champion here. Oh and they’re the Hardys, not the Hardy Boys. You can really see the strides Nitro (Morrison) has made here and it’s impressive. Apparently Matt has a dislocated jaw.

They actually bring up a decent point here as they say that since Matt has a bad jaw, he hasn’t been able to eat solid food and might not have his peak energy. For once, that works. Jeff’s pop is epic. The beauty of the way the Hardys fight is that even if they botch the heck out of most of what they do, it fits their style and it could be believable that they meant to do that. Melina is letting loose those screams which I actually like.

Ross says he hasn’t made a lot of women scream. I’ll leave that one up to you guys. Jeff is so spotty that it’s insane. I usually don’t notice it, but DANG he’s bad here. This match feels like they were told to go out there and have an epic tag match rather than just having one and that’s not a good thing. MNM is ok, but at the same time this match is just sloppy and that’s hurting it a lot.

The crowd is about half into this but at the same time they’re not into it if that makes sense. Ross mentions that this is a one fall match to open the show. Why don’t they have more 2/3 falls matches? Those can be fun when they’re done right but you never see them again.

Matt gets the hot tag to start completely dominating the match. The usual double finisher ends it which was really quite lackluster. Oh and apparently Matt is on Smackdown and Jeff is on Raw, completely going against the theory of the freaking brand split as it comes closer and closer to dying every year.

Rating: B-. This just wasn’t that good. I like that they were trying to have a big time tag match, but these teams just weren’t clicking. It was FAR better at December 2 Dismember, but I think here that they were trying to top that match which was just a bad idea. This match was all kinds of sloppy and the ending wasn’t anything special. This was ok at its best and too long at its worst.

We go to the back where Teddy Long and Coach are running the drawing and Kelly is there barely dressed. Edge shows up, leading to him calling Coach Coacher and Coach calling Edge Edger. Take me now. Kelly was still an exhibitionist at the time and loved to tell everyone that. Rated RKO were the tag champions here so Orton shows up. Let the gay jokes begin. King Booker shows up to make fun of them as this is just rather stupid and unfunny.

Ad for the All Grown Up Wrestlemania, which was a campaign I actually liked for a change.

Thanks to a band we’ve never heard of for a song that has no bearing on the show and won’t be heard again.

We recap Test vs. Lashley, which more or less consisted of Test “dominating” ECW and wanting a title match because of it. There was a triple threat with RVD in there somewhere too that meant nothing at all. Test is apparently an impact player.

ECW Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Take a wild guess as to how this is going to go. Just take a guess. Test was a guy that Vince kept trying to push but it never worked. That might have had something to do with Test having all the momentum in the world and Vince pushing Big Show instead back in 99 when Austin left. Oh yeah Big Show is gone now too. Lashley was another guy that Vince was seemingly ready to pull the trigger on but never got to do so which kind of sucks.

Lashley does the Lesnar entrance where he jumps to the apron and the pyro goes off. That would be more impressive if X-Pac wasn’t the first guy to do it often. There’s no big match feeling here at all. This is as basic of a match as you could imagine. It’s like they were reading a book about how to have a power vs. power match.

Lashley dominates for awhile, Test sends him into the post, Lashley gets a short comeback, Test hits the big boot and Lashley kicks out, so Test walks out. Seriously, that’s the entire 8 minute match.

Rating: D-. What in the heck was the point of this? What was the point of ECW as a whole back then? When did we reach the point where ECW had a back then? Anyway, this was really weak as there was just no point to this whatsoever and the match completely failed. Lashley wasn’t that solid yet and Test didn’t help matters in the slightest. This didn’t go well at all and it showed badly here. Horrible match with a stupid finish.

Cena is in the back getting looked at by the doctor. Umaga injured his ribs the Monday before. Vince comes in and says that Cena won’t be able to forfeit as Cena can’t see him. I really hate Vince at times.

No Way Out promo. My goodness that was an AWFUL show.

We recap Kennedy vs. Batista. The idea here is that Kennedy has beaten 6 world champions in a year, so he’s getting a title shot here. Kennedy won a Beat the Clock Sprint to get the shot. I’ve always liked that idea, at least to an extent. I think Kennedy stole Norcal’s shirt.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy cuts a promo before the match saying exactly what you would expect him to say. Kennedy had no official move yet so he’s unlikely to win. I think it was a neckbreaker or a DDT or something like that but he changed it every week. JBL keeps trying to offer analysis and keeps yelling at Cole for interrupting him which gets funny. At least it’s not Joey Styles because he would have a black eye from it.

Kennedy uses a weird looking leg lock. Imagine a figure four, but with the guy that’s in it on his stomach. It looked rather awesome. A knee to the leg causes JBL to declare that’s how you win a world title. I thought it was by getting a pin or a submission on a world champion in a title match but what do I know? This is mainly Kennedy working on the knee, which is smart but it’s the safe way to go.

With Kennedy being allegedly the future of the company, shouldn’t he do something that’s a bit more interesting or fresh? Batista makes his comeback, actually selling the knee (PAY ATTENTION TAKER!) and goes for the Bomb. It doesn’t work though as Kennedy shoves him into the referee.

He gets a low blow and the neckbreaker but we have no referee. There’s a very loud and very noticeable Kennedy chant, which thankfully was listened to this year as he would win MITB. However, due to about 1000 injuries nothing would come of it. Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the easy win. JBL freaking out over it is kind of funny.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good for what it was I thought. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic showdown but rather a token title defense for Batista so that he could manage to get something else under his belt and get Kennedy the title shot that he had earned. There’s nothing at all wrong with that and it worked. The match itself wasn’t that great, but the point here wasn’t to have a great match but to make Batista and Kennedy look good and that’s what happened.

Hornswoggle shows up to pick his number. He beats up Coach after getting one. Oh looks it’s Khali and Horny because that joke never gets old. He takes three of them and leaves two, allowing Kelly to make a joke and Ron Simmons to show up to validate his existence.

The Marine is on DVD.

Mania promo, set to Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva. They actually mention that at their concerts. Saliva is in the crowd.

So Umaga had been an unbeatable monster that challenged Cena for the title at New Year’s Revolution but lost so naturally he gets another title match at the Rumble. The idea is that Cena could barely keep Umaga down for three so ten is impossible. Umaga crushed Cena with a splash through a table at Raw. You know, I wonder how you can have more than one last man standing match. Wouldn’t that mean there have been more than one last men standing, which is impossible?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

The end of the video package sounded like Taker’s music for some reason. Ok I’m back now, as Lillian with her hair pulled back and more or less wearing a swimsuit as it’s a top that ties behind her neck and one of those nearly invisible skirts she wears. Lawler says that Umaga reminds him of King Kong. You know, the guy that lost in the end. The start is of course, Cena getting his teeth kicked in by Umaga because he’s injured and can’t breathe.

And you know, because Umaga is a monster and Cena is the second coming of Hogan so naturally he has to be beaten down to get us to the big comeback at the end of the match. This was around three months into Cena’s year long reign that made him the most hated man in wrestling. On a completely unrelated note, Lee, Ricky and I joined the forums about three weeks before this show. Umaga puts the steps into the ring but when Cena lifts them, it’s an amazing feat of strength.

He throws them at the Samoan, but here it looks awful as the camera shows perfectly the Umaga takes it on his hands. When Kane did the same spot a few months ago, it looked and sounded great. This looked like them trying to replicate it and failing miserably. We get a bearhug, which at least makes sense here. The fans want tables. I could go for a nice lawn chair actually.

The steps are put up in the corner and Umaga does the hip ramming but misses which would actually hurt. That and a step shot gets a 7. The announcers are completely pro Cena here and aren’t even trying to be diplomatic. The formula here is Cena gets beaten up, Umaga dominates, Cena hits a big move to draw even then Umaga puts him down again. The genius that is Cena figures that the Five Knuckle Shuffle is better than slamming Umaga on the steps.

He goes for an FU but in a SICK looking spot, Umaga falls forward and Cena’s head apparently slams into the steps being crushed by Umaga’s fatness. That’s just as painful looking. On a second look it might have landed on the part of the steps with nothing there but still it looked great. That gets 9 and also a LOUD Cena sucks chant. After taking another beating, Cena hulks up but takes a Samoan Drop to put him back down. I really hate the Spike.

It was just freaking stupid on so many levels that it’s unreal. Seriously, look at Umaga and the stuff he does, and then his finishing move is a thumb to the neck. That’s just freaking DUMB. Ross calls Umaga Youmaga, so maybe that’s where Regal got that from. He hits the post so Cena nails him with a monitor as Umaga decides to take a nap there I guess.

Cena is bleeding from the step crushing by the way. We hit the floor so Cena hits post. The no selling by Umaga is getting a bit annoying but it’s quite bearable. At least they have their stereotypes right here as nothing is hurting his head. With Cena draped over the announce tables, Umaga gets a running start and runs down the tables to go for a splash on Cena which of course misses.

I’m glad as if Cena had gotten up from that it would have been completely ridiculous. That gets a LONG 9 which the fans boo the heck out of. For some reason Lawler thinks you have to be in the ring to answer the ten, which is just stupid but it’s Lawler so it’s expected. Estrada gets some metal thing and takes the ring apart to hand Umaga the turnbuckle, as in the part that hooks up to the post. Of course Cena ducks and hits an FU.

Thankfully he’s up before the referee starts counting as it would have been ridiculous if he stayed down. However it gets dumber as after a metal shot puts him down, Cena puts the STFU on Umaga using the ropes to choke him out.

For some reason Umaga completely no sells the first attempt and is up almost immediately after Cena lets go but Cena does it again to keep him down for ten in what I would assume was miscommunication. That’s your lesson for the day kids: it’s ok to take a rope and tie it around a guy’s neck for about 20 seconds until he stops moving and breathing, as long as you keep your title!

Rating: C. This was about as much of a textbook example of a last man standing match as you could have asked for. What I mean by that is that it was about as safe of one as you were going to get. I don’t think anyone bought that Umaga was a legit threat to the belt so take that for what it’s worth.

The match is certainly ok, but it’s little more than that, which I guess is to be expected in something like this. It ended this rivalry though and gave Cena another successful title defense so that makes up for some stuff I suppose. Not bad, but not great at all.

Commercial for Mania.

Flair draws his number.

Royal Rumble

Lillian is amazing, period. Flair is first, continuing his horrific run of luck for Rumble draws as this is the 3rd time that I can think of where he draws in the first 3 spots. Finlay is number two which is certainly an odd pairing. History is altered again as Flair has now not made it an hour in 1992, despite according to Monsoon making it about 70 minutes that year. We have 90 second intervals here in case you were wondering.

Cole makes it sound like this is for the title. It’s not, which is why it’s a bad idea. Kenny Dykstra, who allegedly was a great talent which I never saw, is 3rd. He and Flair were feuding I think. He was a year old when the first Rumble happened. That’s just scary as Flair was like a 5 time world champion back then. Finlay is heel here in case you were wondering. Matt Hardy is 4th. Lawler, JBL and Cole are doing the commentary here.

Since there’s no JR they can actually get words in edgewise. JBL says this is the closest thing in wrestling to an endurance contest. Other than you know, the iron man match which is an endurance contest. Edge is 5th. The first five have been Raw Smackdown Raw Smackdown Raw. That’s rather odd. Flair goes through the ropes and goes to get a chair. He and Edge have been feuding for awhile too. Does no one like Flair?

Flair goes out and then Dykstra follows him as Dreamer is 6th. You know what the chant is already. Finlay knocks everyone down and oddly enough is dominating. JBL says Lawler hid for 30 minutes in 1996 because he thought there was a young woman under the ring. That actually made me laugh. Sabu of all people is 7th. Naturally he gets a table which Cole says he’s made a career out of.

That’s either a thinly veiled insult or a general observation. Given that it’s Cole, I’d say it’s the later as I don’t think he’s intelligent enough to know how to thinly veil something. He makes up for it by knowing all of Sabu’s attributes which is actually impressive. Helms is Gregory Helms, still the Cruiserweight Champion that he became last year. We have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Dreamer, Sabu and Helms at the moment.

We get our second Sabu chant in less than three minutes which makes me shake my head very hard. Helms has been wanting to stop being a cruiserweight at the time. In other words he wants to have a career. Shelton is 9th. They tease about 4 people going through the table but no one goes through it. Lawler points out that if used right it could save someone, which is actually true.

Kane gets us to double digits and of course we hear about all of his records, including most consecutive rumbles and 11 guys thrown out. And yet he can’t get a 4 week world title reign. Dreamer and Sabu are tossed easily, with Sabu being chokeslammed through the table. Well at least they made it quick. CM PUNK is 11th. Good night I hate how far they’ve depushed him lately.

He was supposed to have a twenty minute war with Lashley to end the Elimination Chamber at December 2 Dismember so that both guys would be made at once. Heyman thought that up. Punk was also supposed to make Show tap out in that match in about 5 minutes. Show, who was losing the title to Lashley anyway, had no problem with that and since he would be leaving in two days anyway had no problem putting Punk over really strong on his way out.

Vince of course HATED this and had RVD pin him first, leaving the likes of Test and Hardcore Holly, you know, REAL MAIN EVENT GUYS to battle it out instead. Naturally the fans HATED this as Punk was incredibly over and no one wanted to see Holly and Test in a main event. Vince of course blamed Heyman and he was fired as a result.

Punk would get the ECW Title in October and begin the biggest launch in company history, breaking the record for fastest time to win the Triple Crown, with the ECW title thrown in as a bonus. He has since tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies and who knows what else as we’re 9 days from Christmas when this is being written and you’ll read it in about 5 weeks.

King Booker is 12th, about ten months before jumping to TNA. He puts Helms out in about 4 seconds. Super Crazy is 13th. Nothing happens. Jeff Hardy is 14th and hopefully something happens here. The Hardys of course work together and hook a move called the Spin Cycle on Crazy before fighting Kane which I like for some reason that I don’t understand.

Sandman, to a song that sounds nothing like Metallica is 15th. He gets a great cane shot to Jeff and a few others but Booker puts him out in about 15 seconds. Thanks for that. Orton is 16th. He and Edge, the tag champions, put out Crazy and the Hardys inside of a minute. In at 17 is Benoit, in his final Rumble. He’s US Champion here because that’s all he’s ever done. The announcers talk about Punk like he’s a jobber or something.

Oh I forgot he was on ECW at the time. RVD is 18th, just about to be gone from the company. He would be gone I think in June. Kane puts Booker out so he goes back in and puts Kane out. They fought at No Way Out and that was the end of it. They fight for awhile until Viscera comes out at 19th. He’s wearing white pajamas so there we are. Nitro is 20th. Nothing of note is going on here.

More or less it’s just a lot of guys making sure that they get close to being thrown out without actually doing so. Kevin Thorn, the guy that just never got pushed is 21st. Shelton gets insanely close and keeps off the floor which is indeed impressive. Oh for the love of heck Hardcore Holly is 22nd. Still, nothing of note is happening with far too many people in the ring at the moment.

Shawn Michaels, still of DX, is 23rd to blow the roof off the place. With EVERYONE else trying to get Viscera out, Shawn puts Finlay out. A superkick to Viscera allows everyone else to put him out. He puts Shelton out too. They actually imply that Holly could win as Masters is 24th. I’ve actually liked his face turn recently, and not just because I find him attractive. Nitro is out thanks to Benoit.

Oh yeah HHH is out with an injury again and wouldn’t be back until Summerslam. Chavo is 25th as this is somehow only his 3rd Rumble ever. Benoit puts Thorn out. I’ve spelled his name wrong both times I’ve mentioned him in here. MVP is 26th and he’s not quite a medium sized deal yet. He and Kennedy had been feuding with Kane and Taker. Masters is out. Every time Van Dam has been in the Rumble, he’s made the final 6. That’s not bad at all.

Carlito is 27th which is where 4 men have won from which is rather impressive. Shawn hangs on like someone that hangs on rather impressively. Khali is 28th and he’ll likely get rid of a bunch of people. Yep, there goes Benoit and Holly. He would win the world title in July once Edge got hurt…again. He chops the tar out of everyone and Miz is 29th. Good night did he ever come a LONG way since then. He has the same music too. Yeah he’s gone in 5 seconds.

Van Dam is out. Punk is the 5th in a row for him. Carlito is number 6. Chavo makes 7. They say that no one can beat Khali as Shawn beats on him to no avail. I think it’s about as obvious as possible who 30th is here, but it’s going to be awesome no matter what. Cole: “no one can stop Khali.” JBL: “we have our Wrestlemania main event.” Lawler: “if I were number 30 I’d have second thoughts. GONG! All three: “OH YES!” Taker power walks to the ring and it’s on.

Final group: Khali, Taker, Shawn, Orton, Edge, MVP.They slug it out and after a bad clothesline, Khali is out. Somehow Taker looks small next to him, and that’s just scary. Since Khali wiped everyone out, we have 5 people left: MVP, never mind he’s gone so the final four are Shawn, Taker, Edge and Orton. They really are getting good at this final four thing.

Orton pops Taker with a chair and Rated RKO double team him. Edge of course goes for the double cross and this somehow allows Shawn to take an RKO. Taker is bleeding. We get a mini handicap match with quite a few chair shots in there. Ok it’s more like two but whatever. They go for a conchairto but Shawn comes in for the save and the double elimination to set up the old school explosion.

Both guys are down though, and you know what’s coming. Taker sits up, and then Shawn nips up a few seconds later. Lawler says he isn’t sure if this has ever happened before. Oh I give up. We get my favorite Taker spot as he throws Shawn into the corner. The fans are way into this. This turns into of course a great one on one match. They fight on the apron with Taker showing off by barely hanging on much like Shawn would do.

They go back and forth with some great stuff as neither guy can keep the advantage. Shawn gets ahead for awhile but Chine Music is blocked to set up a chokeslam. Tombstone doesn’t work though and Taker gets kicked in the face. He goes for a second one, but Taker moves and puts Shawn out, to become the first guy from the 30th spot to win the thing.

That’s not great odds for the luckiest spot in the match. Taker poses for a LONG time to end the show, which is fine. The fans are uh, not thrilled with Taker putting out Shawn when he was that close to winning, and Shawn was in the main event of Mania anyway so it makes even less sense.

Rating: B. The ending makes this whole thing as they let the old guys go out there and prove that old school is better than the young guys. Having the two mini matches at the end was a nice little touch. There were far too many dead spots in there though which screwed things up.

The lineup ws good though and it was nice to see the ECW guys not really do much as they didn’t need to, other than Punk. This was fine though and the ending was great so that helps a lot. It could have been better, but I liked it.

Overall Rating: B. While nothing here is great, there’s only one bad match in the ECW Title match which at least is short. This kind of sums up the company as a whole around this time: not bad at all but nothing that jumps off the page that’s great. Taker would go on to win his second world title at Mania, ending the run there against Evolution by beating Batista.

When you think about it, you realize how freaking insane the Streak really is. Anyway, this was a pretty good show but not great. If you like the modern WWE you’ll like it and vice versa, so there you go.

 

 

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Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally here and just like all the other times I’ve seen this show, it still doesn’t feel all that big. Nothing on the card really stands out above the rest as some major match, but instead we are getting a bunch of important matches at once. That isn’t a bad thing, but it did make for kind of an odd setup. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the history of the show….and then the DX logo pops up as we talk about DX vs. the McMahons, followed by everything else.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

They’re fighting over Eddie Guerrero’s memory, so we look at both videos from Smackdown, focusing on both of their relationships with them. So yes, it does come off as a pay per view match based on people arguing over who was Eddie’s real best friend. This is also Chavo’s return from retirement, despite the fact that he was on almost every TV show since retiring. Rey hammers away to start fast as JBL goes on a rant about the Guerrero family as only he can.

Chavo tries a shoulder breaker but gets sent outside, where he manages to avoid Rey’s dive. Chavo’s dive connects and it’s time to choke away back in to the corner. Rey comes back out of another corner and kicks away at the leg, only to be sent head first into the buckle. The fans chant for Eddie as Rey is knocked outside but comes back up top, right next to Chavo. They both hit a big facebuster back to the mat and it’s a bit of a breather. Rey is back up with a kick to the head and there’s the 619.

Chavo counters the seated senton though, meaning Rey has to hurricanrana him over the top for a double crash to the floor. Cue Vickie Guerrero to yell at Chavo and slap him in the face. Rey takes him down with a dive and they head back inside to exchange Three Amigos each. It’s Rey going up top but Vickie crotches him down, allowing Chavo to hit a brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Rey off.

Rating: C+. The match was good, as you would expect from these two, but egads the battle of these two over Eddie’s memory was hard to watch. I know it’s the logical way to go, but at the same time it feels like it’s being designed to set up some big Eddie return, which doesn’t seem that likely. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of these two together and hopefully that does not include hearing Eddie’s name every fourth word.

Queen Sharmell and King Booker are ready to face Batista but here are Edge and Lita to interrupt. They argue over who is the most powerful couple, with Booker calling him a squire. The champs make a bet: if Edge loses his title, he has to kiss Booker’s feet but if Booker loses his title, Booker he has to be Edge’s servant. I’m still not sure if these champion vs. champion scenes matter quite as much as WWE thinks they do.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending under ECW Rules. Sabu chairs him down to start and hits a quick Arabian facebuster for two. Show isn’t having that and knocks both Sabu and the chair down. The bearhug goes on for a few seconds, followed by a fall away slam to send Sabu flying. Sabu finds another chair though and knocks Show silly, followed by a top rope chair shot to do it again. It’s table time, but first Sabu hits a top rope bulldog. Sabu drives him through the table in the corner but Show is right back up to run him over.

A Vader Bomb connects, with Sabu rolling outside as Show grabs the steps. Two sets of steps are thrown in and a table is bridged between them. Sabu uses the breather to climb onto the table, which falls down, then reset it and DDT show through it for….well nothing as he doesn’t bother to cover. Instead, Sabu sets up another table and is quickly chokeslammed through it to retain Show’s title.

Rating: C. They did what they had to do well enough here, as they didn’t stay out there too long and had Sabu use all of his weapons to cover up all of the issues. I’m not sure how much of a doubt there was about who was leaving as champion, but now I’m curious to see who is next for Sabu. This could have been much worse so I’ll call that a win.

We look at Layla winning the Diva Search.

Layla comes into the locker room where some of the women brag about her cover on a magazine. Trish Stratus goes on a rant about what everyone else had to do to get here. But it’s ok because Layla is one of them now. Then they take her into the shower and soak her for her initiation. I know the idea of a bunch of Divas in the shower is a simple concept, but it loses its steam when they are in their usual clothes.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton. Legend meets Legend Killer, who was also hitting on the Legend’s daughter.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

They lock up to start with Hogan shoving him down to hit the posing. Orton has some more luck with a headlock, but he gets shoved away again without much effort. Hogan powers out of another headlock and shoves Orton down again but this time Orton gets in a cheap shot and stomps away. You don’t try to ram him into the buckle though as Hogan blocks the shot and hammers away in the corner, as only he can. A thumb to the eye and more right hands set up a clothesline to keep Orton in trouble.

There are the back rakes as JR talks about Hogan’s heeling days in the AWA. Orton bails to the floor where he grabs Hogan’s knee and rams it into the apron. Back in and the circle stomp keeps Hogan in trouble but he ducks the high crossbody. The big boot misses though and Orton nails the dropkick. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot is on the rope just in time. There’s the Hulk Up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Orton.

Rating: D+. I’m always going to be a Hulkamaniac but what in the world was this? Hogan comes in, shrugs off almost everything Orton has, and wins in about eleven minutes? It’s a feel good moment and such but this serves Hogan and Hogan only, which makes me think he probably had a lot to do with the decision. Orton could have used this win and while it won’t destroy him, the loss doesn’t exactly feel like the smartest move. The match wasn’t even that good, as Hogan dominated for the first half, got beaten down for a bit and then went to the finish with some pretty limited drama.

Posing ensues post match.

Melina gives Mick Foley a pep talk but Mick is worried about the kind of mood Flair is in. She also doesn’t want Foley to lose and damage her reputation as the manager of champions. Foley is fired up too though and seems ready to go.

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match so Foley brings in a trashcan full of weapons. Foley starts fast and hits the running knee in the corner. The Mandible Claw goes on about a minute in but Foley lets go to ask Flair if he quits. Since Flair can’t speak at the moment, Foley puts barbed wire around Mr. Socko, allowing Flair to grab him low. Flair puts on the barbed wire Socko and chops him out to the floor.

There’s the big whip into the steps but Foley grabs a barbed wire board to hack Flair up as well. The fans sound like they want fire as Foley chokes with a boot. There’s another barbed wire board shot to the face and then one to Flair’s back but he still won’t quit. Flair is COVERED in blood and Foley pouring out the thumbtacks isn’t going to make it better. Foley slams him onto the tacks but Flair still won’t quit, so let’s bring in a barbed wire baseball bat.

Thankfully Flair gets in a low blow and sends Foley shoulder first into the post. Flair hits Foley’s arm with the bat but Foley won’t quit, even with threats of Flair killing him. A big shot knocks Foley off the apron and into the Nestea Plunge, onto a trashcan for a cushion. The trainer comes out to say Foley can’t continue but Flair isn’t having that. Instead he throws Foley back inside, sending him right through the thumbtacks.

Flair goes for the eyes with the barbed wire bat as Melina is out here begging for mercy. The bat is driven into Foley’s face so Melina throws in the towel to quit for him. Flair kicks Foley low and demands that Foley be the one to quit. With nothing else working, Flair grabs the bat and goes for Melina, which is enough for Foley to quit.

Rating: B-. This one is likely going to have a lot of different opinions, but the biggest problem is that I didn’t exactly enjoy the match. Above all else, it was too violent (and yes I know that was the point) for and there was so much blood between two people who probably shouldn’t be doing this to themselves anymore. Then there is the Melina thing which is a real life friendship, but it came out of almost nowhere on WWE TV. I get why Foley quit to save her, though it isn’t like some big epic moment or friendship between the two. They did what they were supposed to do, but it wasn’t something I could really enjoy.

Foley is COVERED in blood and can barely stand.

The McMahons are warming up with Armando Alejandro Estrada in their office. Estrada promises that Umaga will be there to hold them against DX.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T. vs. Batista

Booker is defending. They take turns shoving each other into the corner to start until Booker slaps him in the face. That earns him a big push down so Booker chops away. It doesn’t exactly work though as Booker grabs a Stunner over the to rope and nails a hot shot to keep Batista down.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, with Batista fighting up for a belly to belly. They head outside, where Sharmell slips Booker the scepter to hit Batista in the face. Booker takes him back inside to crank on the arm and then switches back to the chinlock. The fans talk about a certain disease they claim Sharmell has as Batista fights up to crotch Booker on the top.

It’s back to the floor with Batista being distracted by Sharmell and sent into the steps. The Book End gives Booker two but the ax kick misses, setting up a Jackhammer for two on the champ. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but Sharmell comes in for the DQ. You can’t even say it was a long match for that lame of an ending.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if you can call this a clash of styles but they didn’t have much of a flow to the match and the ending was even worse. This will set up a rematch on the next pay per view but I’m not sure I want to see it again. The match wasn’t the worst but it isn’t the kind of match I want to see again. If nothing else, you would think the World Title match would get more than eleven minutes but it doesn’t even hit that, leaving this feeling like a match that they had because it was required instead of something they wanted to feature.

Post match Batista wrecks Booker again to set up the rematch.

DX is talking to someone in the men’s locker room. They seem to have backup.

We recap D-Generation X vs. the McMahon, DX has tormented Vince and Shane for months now so now the McMahons (and their band of mercenaries, meaning Umaga and the Spirit Squad) are dealing with this here.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

DX does their usual intro and we’re ready to go. Actually hold on as the McMahons stay on the stage and send out the Spirit Squad. DX dispatches them in a hurry so here are Mr. Kennedy, Finlay and William Regal, who are beaten up after just a bit more time. Now it’s Big Show to take Shawn out while the other three beat up HHH on the floor. HHH gets put through the announcers’ table and NOW the McMahons are willing to head to the ring.

Vince slams Shawn down as we officially start, setting up Shane with the jabs. The bosses take turns beating Shawn down, though Shane is smart enough to hit the floor and stomp HHH down. A double suplex sets up a Paisan elbow and Shane takes HHH down again. There’s a Demolition Decapitator (JR: “They think they’re Demolition.”) into a Hart Attack into a Doomsday Device for two on Shawn, with Shane being stunned.

Shawn fights up and hits a double clothesline, allowing the hot tag to HHH. House is cleaned in a hurry and Shawn beats Shane up on the floor. Cue Umaga though and Shawn gets taken out, leaving the McMahons to beat on HHH. With Umaga ready to wreck DX even more, cue Kane to fight him to the back. HHH is down in the corner as Shane loads up Coast To Coast but Shawn is back up to superkick it out of the air. Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree finishes Vince.

Rating: ;C-. It was another nicely done story with the execution lacking. As has been the case for the entire feud so far, DX never felt like they were in trouble. Having the army there helped a good bit and DX was at least down here, but we are reaching kind of a goofy point where you can only throw so many people before it stops mattering. An army of midcarders is a big update over the Spirit Squad though so it’s a step forward, but the match, again, wasn’t much to see.

A lot of celebrating ensues, with a trainer checking on Shawn.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge for Edge’s Raw World Title. Edge cashed in Money in the Bank to win the title at New Year’s Revolution but then Cena took it back at the Royal Rumble a few weeks later Then Rob Van Dam took the title and Edge got it back, with Cena giving chase. Edge slapped Cena’s father on Raw, so you know it’s personal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is defending and loses the title if he is disqualified. Cena wastes no time in shoving Edge hard into the corner to begin the destruction. The referee has to cut things off and Cena misses a charge into the post. That means Edge can hammer away and send Cena outside for a nine count. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two but Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets the same. Cena gets tossed over the top and out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena misses a crossbody and we hit the chinlock. Cena eventually powers out so Edge boots him in the face for two. Edge heads up top and gets crotched, though he is fine enough to shove Cena down and score with a top rope clothesline for two. The camel clutch goes on until Cena fights up with a slam for the double knockdown. It’s Cena back up with the Throwback and it’s time to pick up the pace.

Lita throws in a chair because she forgot the rules but Cena gets rid of it just as fast. Cena fires off his clotheslines but Edge cuts him off for two. Cena’s victory roll gets two so Lita gets on the apron, only to get knocked down again. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown until Edge is up with the Edge-O-Matic for two.

The spear is loaded up but Cena counters into the STFU. Edge grabs the rope, allowing Lita to slip him some brass knuckles. Cena doesn’t mind and loads up the FU, which draws Lita in. Again, that’s fine with Cena who puts them on his shoulders at the same time. Lita gets flipped down but Edge slips out and uses the knuckles to the back of the head to pin Cena and retain.

Rating: B. It’s the best match of the show, but that isn’t exactly clearing a high bar. They were starting to feel things at the end before the screwy finish but at least Edge got a pin instead of having Lita come in for the DQ. Cena was starting to have the Superman vibe here as he was fired up and unstoppable, which makes the ending seem a little more impressive. They did well here, though the mic work is still the high point of the feud.

Edge and Lita celebrate as Cena wakes up to stare down down and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of one match standing above the rest or the lack of anything really changing but I still don’t care for this show all that much. It also doesn’t help that nothing really jumps off the page as far as quality, leaving this to be a not exactly memorable show. This felt like they were gearing up for their next brand exclusive shows. That is a way to go, but then why should I want to watch this? The show does feel big, but nothing happens here and that leaves you with no real reason to watch it, which isn’t exactly what you expect from a show usually this important.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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