New Column: Well That Was Easy
How have I never reviewed a match in a column before?
Best Of 2020: Major Show Of The Year
There are a lot of options here, which is what can make something like this all the more interesting. For the sake of simplicity, I’m including pretty much anything other than regular television, because otherwise it could get into a bit of a tricky question of what is or isn’t major. Therefore, we’ll go with a pretty broad range of options and hope everyone is happy. Let’s get to it.
As usual, in no order until the end, where the top choice is last.
Sidenote: there were A LOT of highly rated shows this year so I’ve cut it down to the best one from each area (New Japan, Network Special, WWE, AEW, NXT). There were several on the same level, but I trimmed it down for the sake of not needing another week to list all of them.
Wrestle Kingdom
I’m combining the two nights into one as I had both shows rated about the same. You can only say so many things about a Wrestle Kingdom because they’re always awesome shows with some of the best matches of the year. This has always been the case and likely will be for a long time. This was another great show and you have to include it on such a list.
Worlds Collide
I thought about putting this one on the top. This was a big coming out party for NXT UK as they got to show that they were here. You have a host of big matches, but then the main event was all you could ask for, with Imperium (ok Walter) taking on the Undisputed Era and even winning despite it turning into a handicap match. I loved this way more than I would have bet on and it was one of the best things all year.
Clash Of Champions
Yeah I barely remember it either but apparently it was a heck of a show. This was the night of the McIntyre vs. Orton ambulance match and the first Reigns vs. Uso showdown, plus the pretty crazy awesome ladder match with Sami Zayn winning the Intercontinental Title. I had a blast with this show and it was a sneaky surprise, so I’ll certainly put this on a list of greatest shows of the year.
Double Or Nothing
AEW has one of the best pay per view track records of all time and Double Or Nothing might be the biggest show of their calendar. This year’s show was just as good, with the card being strong up and down and a host of awesome matches. AEW pay per views are up there with Takeovers for guaranteed levels of awesome. They know how to make a great presentation and they did it again here.
Believe it or not, the winner is from NXT.
Takeover: Portland
Who would have thought the winner of this would come from what felt like a nothing Takeover? This show was the classic Takeover formula with one awesome match after another. I loved this show and it was one of the best shows I’ve seen in a good while. It may not have been the best by much (and I wouldn’t argue with about a dozen shows beating it out), but it was a heck of an event and one of the best in a long time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – August 14, 2006: Home Not Alone
Monday Night Raw
Date: August 14, 2006
Location: John Paul Jones Arena, Charlottesville, Virginia
Attendance: 6,139
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we are in the final push for the show. I’m curious to see what that is going to include as the show is ready, but you never know what kind of twists they might throw in here. If nothing else, I think you know where most of the stories are going and that’s not too bad given how pay per view builds can go at times. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Here are Edge and Lita to get things going and apparently something happened today at John Cena’s father’s house. Before we get to that though, Edge wants to tell us a story about….himself. He has to defend his title against Cena at Summerslam and has to do it in Cena’s home turf. On top of that, he has to defend the title against Carlito later tonight so things are a little hectic. He and Lita took a little trip to cool off….all the way to West Newberry, Massachusetts, at the home of John Cena Sr.
With Edge narrating, we see them walking through the house and mocking Cena’s throwback jersey and all of the mementos in the closets. Then they went downstairs and saw Cena’s Wall Of Lame, when Cena’s dad finally showed up to throw them out. They pause the video, and now we see the actual footage without the narration, including Edge slapping Cena’s dad in the face…and leave. Therefore, John Cena isn’t here tonight so Edge recaps his history with Cena to lead us up to Sunday. Every story needs a big ending, and at Summerslam, Edge is throwing on his black hat and riding away.
So in a story you might not have heard, Cena and Edge discussed this on a WWE Network show called Untold. Apparently there was WAY more footage filmed, but Cena Sr.’s acting was so over the top and completely hammy that it was basically impossible to put on television, hence the narrated version. Given how bad some of the acting on this show can be, how awful must that have been?
JR and King preview the show, including the non-title match with Edge meeting Carlito.
Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James
Lita is defending and has Edge in her corner. Mickie gets slapped into the corner to start but comes back with some right hands to the face. A dropkick puts Lita down again but she pulls Mickie off the top by the hair. Lita snapmares her into more right hands to the face and we hit the double arm crank. Mickie fights up and hits some running elbows to the face and the hurricanrana out of the corner connects. Lita’s DDT is countered with a grab of the rope but Mickie gets distracted by Edge, allowing Lita to grab a rollup for two, even with her feet on the ropes. Edge offers another distraction though and a belt shot gives Lita the title.
Rating: C-. It’s kind of a random title win as Lita hasn’t been in action much at all as of late, but at the same time, it’s not like the title has meant anything in months. Go with what makes sense so the top heels can both have titles. It works well enough, even if the match wasn’t much to see.
Mick Foley congratulates Lita on the win before moving on to ranting about Ric Flair. This Sunday will see the complete destruction of Ric Flair’s career because he is taking Flair to a new level of hardcore. If Flair wants to, he can join Foley on ECW but for tonight, he’ll be ringside for Flair’s match against Johnny Nitro.
Umaga vs. Alex Sage
Umaga starts with the usual, continues with the usual and finishes with the usual.
We’re waiting on something in the parking lot.
Ric Flair vs. Johnny Nitro
Non-title with Melina at ringside. Nitro takes him into the corner to start but gets chopped right back. An enziguri drops Flair and a neckbreaker gives Nitro two. Nitro misses a corkscrew moonsault but here’s Foley for the fast DQ.
Post match the beatdown is on with Foley sending him into the steps. The big crushing with the steps misses so Foley hammers away at the head instead.
It’s Diva Search time with Milena being eliminated to get us down to three. With the three left, it’s time for a water fight with Victoria/Torrie Wilson/Candice Michelle (hence the white tops and swimsuits). Torrie licks Candice’s face and the Raw women win, with Miz and JR getting soaked too.
Video on Randy Orton.
JR plugs something called WWE 24/7.
Here’s D-Generation X for a chat (with some large wet spots still in the ring). They hit the catchphrase, insisting that it is Vince McMahon’s favorite activity. Shawn talks about how the last few weeks have been a bit rough, save for him getting to work on his prison ministry last week. Other than that, there have always been two things that you can count on from DX: they have always done everything they want, whenever they want.
That leads into the new Vince Loves Roosters shirt, which brings out Vince and Shane McMahon to interrupt, complete with a bunch of cops (one of whom kind of resembles Roderick Strong). Shane shows us a clip of the recent individual beatdowns on HHH and Shawn and Vince promises to end the DX party at Summerslam.
The only name that matters is McMahon, and they will bring down the wrath of Satan at Summerslam. HHH cuts off the catchphrase and promises that the two of them will take care of the McMahons on Sunday. Bring whoever you want, because DX will be waiting on them. Standard final push towards the big match.
Eugene/Jim Duggan vs. Spirit Squad
Non-title. Duggan beats up Kenny and Mikey to start but a cheap shot sends him out to the floor. Cue the Highlanders to glare at the rest of the Squad as Duggan gets beaten up inside. Duggan clotheslines him way to freedom and it’s a hot tag to Eugene to start cleaning house. Johnny sneaks in with his top rope spinwheel kick so the Highlanders sneak in with the Scot Drop to give Eugene the pin.
Rating: D. Another nothing match in a series of them tonight as the build to the Highlanders vs. the Spirit Squad continues to go backwards. Eugene and Duggan might get a one off title match but this is all about the Highlanders. In other words, it’s a bunch of people with over the top gimmicks fighting over the lowest level titles in the company. At least it was short.
Jeff Hardy is back next week. Cool.
Armando Alejandro Estrada offers the McMahons Umaga’s services on Sunday. Wasn’t that already established over the last two weeks?
Summerslam rundown.
Carlito kisses Trish Stratus for luck.
Carlito vs. Edge
Non-with with Trish Stratus and Lita at ringside. Carlito jumps him to start and gets two off an early suplex. A chop sends Edge into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs and a hard whip puts him down again. Carlito nails a springboard flip dive and Edge bails to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Carlito in trouble and Edge grabbing a waistlock. Carlito fights up but Lita grabs his foot, earning herself a shot from Trish. The knee lift into a springboard elbow drops Edge for two and there’s a hurricanrana for the same. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but the spear hits the corner. Edge counters the Backstabber but here’s Cena to jump Edge for the DQ.
Rating: C. It really is amazing to see how much better Carlito is when he’s motivated. He may not be an instant classic most of the time or anything, but he can do quite a few nice things when he’s trying. The problem is that Carlito barely ever tried and that made for some rather dull matches. This was one of the better ones, but the ending kept it from being able to mean much. Granted that’s the only way the ending could have gone given the big segment earlier.
Post match the mauling is on with referees barely able to pull Cena off.
Here’s Randy Orton to call out Hulk Hogan. There’s no Hogan though, which Orton says is smart. Hogan really does know best because he knows what would happen to him if he crossed Orton. We see a Legend Killer highlight reel before Orton says Hogan was the inspiration for the Legend Killer. Orton has promised himself that he will end Hulkamania forever and that will take place at Summerslam.
Cue Hogan….or at least a decent impersonator of the real one. Fake Hogan knows that Orton can kill his legend because Hogan has a bad knee from the couch accident. He’ll soil himself on Sunday, but for now here’s the real Hogan to interrupt. The real Hulk clears Orton out and beats up the impostor, who is sent outside. Hogan says Hulkamania will be at Summerslam and its legend cannot be killed. The catchphrase and posing end the show. This was a bit long but it sold the point well enough.
Overall Rating: C-. This had the same problem that so many go home shows have: there was nothing really new added because the show was already set up. The Edge/Cena Sr. stuff didn’t have nearly the impact they were hoping for because we only saw about ten seconds of it, but at least they tried. The show was ok enough, but you absolutely didn’t need to watch this to get ready for Summerslam.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Best Of 2020 – Promo Of The Year
Your tastes may vary on this one as there are different styles of promos. Some of them are meant to build up a match but some are meant to build up a character, many times through comedy. That’s what we have a nice mixture of here today, as there is some serious stuff plus a little comedy thrown in because when a wrestling promo is funny, it’s hilarious. Let’s get to it.
As usual, in no order until the ending.
Pat McAfee Retired The Undisputed Era – NXT, November 4
McAfee continues to have no reason to be this good this fast but he became the best heel in wrestling overnight. You want to see this guy get taken apart and that’s what the Undisputed Era did, but not before McAfee retired them, throwing an Undisputed Era banner in a trashcan. This was one of the most charismatic and energized heel promos you’ll see in years and it was outstanding throughout, just like McAfee.
Edge Is Back On Raw – Raw, January 27
There are things in wrestling that you’ll never believe you’re seeing and this was the latest entry. Edge was not supposed to wrestle again. After having to retire nearly nine years ago, Edge was one of the last names I ever would have expected to see get back in the ring and you could feel what it meant to him. It was even better than I would have expected, had I ever been able to expect something like this.
Becky Lynch Vacates The Raw Women’s Title – Raw, May 11
We’ll stick with the emotions here and have a moment that shook things up. Becky had become one of (if not the) biggest stars in WWE and it was almost impossible to believe that she could ever actually lose the Women’s Title. It looked like Asuka, as Miss Money in the Bank, was next for her but the night after Asuka won the briefcase, Becky said that Asuka was the new champion. Asuka could go be champion, because Becky was going to go be a mother. How much sweeter of a moment can you get than that?
Bayley Explains Herself – Smackdown, September 11
Bayley and Sasha Banks have had one of the longest stories in modern WWE and a lot of it took place over the course of 2020. They teamed together for a very long time, but then Bayley turned on Banks, continuing a heel run no one knew she had in her. Bayley had to explain herself and she did so very easily: she turned on Banks before Banks could turn on her. It was a logical explanation and right to the point. That’s all you could want from this and far more.
Big E. Is Doing Work – Smackdown Exclusive, December 25
This was a YouTube exclusive after Big E. beat Sami Zayn for the Intercontinental Title and…..he talks about taking down Sami’s tights, bending him over and doing work. As in construction work. Like, he mentions picnic areas, low income housing and a business district. He’s even wearing a construction hat. This is the crazy, charismatic and completely hilarious Big E. that people have been hyping for years now.
Los Parks Cook Pork – MLW Fusion, May 2
Every now and then, you see something that comes out of nowhere, is completely and utterly over the top, and you can’t stop watching it. This is the 2020 edition, as LA Park and his sons (LA Park Jr. and El Hijo de LA Park) join us from the kitchen where they make a pork dish, step by step, for about twelve minutes, all while Park Senior stops to rant about their upcoming match with Pagano and Psycho Clown. It’s all in Spanish with subtitles but I was cracking up throughout this entire segment. You don’t need any backstory because it’s all in the delivery. And you’ll see how to make a tasty looking dish.
Eddie Kingston And Jon Moxley Know Each Other – Dynamite, November 4
I had to cut myself off at one Kingston promo because he may be the best talker in wrestling right now. The idea of the feud is that Kingston and Moxley have known each other but Moxley forgot about him on his way to fame and fortune. Kingston wants revenge, but they can’t touch each other until the match. This sends them into an intense as heck back and forth, with Moxley talking about how he promised Kingston’s mother that he would take care of him, which is why he didn’t bring Kingston along. Kingston was shaking and I wanted to see these two rid each other apart. That’s how it’s done.
And now we have the winner. I don’t care that it’s stupid. I don’t care that it didn’t lead anywhere. I don’t care if it’s something I would make fun of most of the time. This is one of the greatest things I’ve seen in wrestling in years and I’ve watched it back more times than I can count.
Brandi Rhodes Meets Jade Cargill – Dynamite, November 11
This is the one I’ve watched more times than anything else from the year because DANG. Cargill had threatened Cody Rhodes with Shaquille O’Neal (because of course she did) and here comes Brandi, who is NOT HAVING IT. Brandi then gives the most passionate, emotional performance of her life, screaming and yelling at Jade…..who gives her a little spank. And then pretty much nothing ever happened again because Brandi was pregnant, but this was the best thing she’s ever done in wrestling by a mile.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Best Of 2020: Spot Of The Year
These are the ones that you remember. A match has a lot of different moving parts but sometimes something is going to happen that you remember more than anything else. The big spots are the ones that make the highlight reels, most of the time for better than worse. That is something worth remembering a lot of the time and while some of them were cut off in 2020, there were still some good picks. Let’s get to it.
As usual, in no order until the end.
Io Shirai’s Trashcan Moonsault Off Of WarGames
There is something to be said about someone taking a trashcan and diving backwards off of a cage onto a bunch of people. I think the description says it all, because that sounds completely insane. Shirai can do one of the best looking moonsaults today but to do it on that stage with that kind of accuracy makes it all the more impressive. It just looked cool and that’s enough to warrant a mention.
Pat McAfee’s Swanton Off Of WarGames
You might say that this is a good way to do something like this. You’ll probably be hearing about McAfee again on this list and there is a good reason for that. McAfee had no business being as good as he was in these situations and yet he kept pulling it off, including with this great looking dive from the top of the cage onto everyone else. He shouldn’t be doing that and yet he made it look even better than almost anyone else could these days. That’s hard to believe, but he made it look easy.
Jeff Hardy’s Swanton Onto Elias
This is better known as the one where Hardy slammed his head into the steps because Hardy is kind of freaking nuts. I almost left it off because of the landing but it wouldn’t feel right to not have Hardy included in here somehow. It was an awesome looking dive and while the landing is what people will remember the most, Hardy can still do this like few others, even at 43.
Sammy Guevara And The Golf Cart
Now THIS is the one that people remember and with good reason. The image of Guevara being chased down by a golf cart of all things and then taking a heck of a bump off of it, all of which continued a feud with a maniacal Matt Hardy was the kind of stuff you can only hope to script. AEW shot it perfectly and it was just awesome, with everyone playing their part perfectly.
Then there is the winner, which was exactly what I wanted.
Hangman Page Rides A Horse Into Stadium Stampede
Every now and then you find someone who is perfect for the character they are playing. That is the case with Page, who is the definition of a cowboy wrestler. He looks like one, dresses like one, talks like one and acts like one. The line of “I’M GONNA DO SOME COWBOY S***!” is still maybe the best line AEW has ever had and Page is one of the best characters on the show. Then he rode a horse into a football stadium, because that’s what a cowboy is supposed to do, especially in the spot of the year.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2002 (2013 Redo): He’s Still Got It
Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.
The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.
Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys
I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.
Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.
We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.
Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.
Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal
Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.
Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.
Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.
Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.
Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.
Flair says he’ll win.
We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.
Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon
Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.
There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.
Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.
Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.
Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?
Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.
No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.
WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.
A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.
Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.
Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.
The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.
Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.
Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.
Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.
Royal Rumble
Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.
Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.
Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.
Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.
Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.
Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.
Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.
Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.
With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.
Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.
Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.
Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.
HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.
Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.
Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.
Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.
Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.
Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.
Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.
Ratings Comparison
Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck
Original: C-
Redo: D+
William Regal vs. Edge
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Original: D+
Redo: D
Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon
Original: D+
Redo: C+
Chris Jericho vs. The Rock
Original: B+
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Yep, about the same for the most part here.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2002 (Original): The Game Show
Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
WCW is dead. That’s the big deal here obviously. A lot of the wrestlers from there are now here. Well mainly just those with talent or those that will sell t-shirts. Other than that, you have one major thing going on here: HHH is back tonight. Look up the video where he returns. It’s absolutely awesome.
It is by far and away the coolest moment I can ever remember on Raw. HHH, out about 8 months with a torn quad, is back now to reclaim his glory in the Royal Rumble. Also in the Rumble we have Austin, Angle, Taker and that’s about it. Other than the Rumble, we have Vince vs. Flair in a street fight and Rock facing Jericho for the newly formed Undisputed Title.
This show more or less is designed to give HHH the Mania shot but still making it look cool. The end of the Monday Night Wars have kind of hurt the company though, as there’s no reason to go insane in trying to crush WCW anymore. Anyway, let’s get to this as the card looks pretty good.
The intro is set to Cocky by Kid Rock and it showcases all of the major stars that are in the Rumble, which is a smart idea if nothing else. It wasn’t as generic as it has been in the past so that’s a perk if nothing else.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley and Tazz
Spike and Tazz were some of the oddest tag champions of all time. I vaguely remember them being champions, but not by much. They held them for a month and a half just before the draft and other than that they never did a thing again. This is the hottest period of Stacy’s career as the Duchess of Dudleyville. Just pure perfection in a woman.
The Dudleys beat on Spike on Smackdown and gave him a 3D in the parking lot so his neck is messed up. King is very annoying here too. This feels a lot like a TV match. The heels hit an AWESOME looking double flapjack on Spike, getting him way up there. This match is way too short here as it’s only about five minutes long.
Spike hits a Dudley Dog and finally, which is a stretch as he was only down for a bit, gets the tag to Tazz. Stacy gets up on the apron but for no reason at all we go to a shot of the crowd that looks like it’s at the beginning of a TV show. Anyway, within seconds, Tazz has D-Von in the Tazmission and we’re done. Yeah that’s really it.
Rating: C-. This was a bit out there. It felt like something that belonged on Raw. I really don’t get the point of this pairing but it works fine I suppose. The Dudleys were still the best tag team in the company, but with no one to feud with on their level they were really kind of worthless. And people say the tag division has been alive for a long time. Yeah right.
Edge and Regal have been fighting for a long time now.
Edge is in the back and says that he’s ready for a fight.
Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal
Edge is defending here. Regal was using brass knuckles a lot around this time so Nick Patrick looks all over the place for them before the match starts. Edge is rocking the completely awesome Rob Zombie song here. DAng I love that song. Edge gets one heck of a pop. If there has ever been a poster boy for coming up from the bottom of the card to the midcard to the main event in the modern era, it’s Edge. He needs to come back as a face.
The referee finds knuckles on Regal in his tights. That brings on a ton of jokes from Lawler of course. Edge broke Regal’s nose with a chair to cause him to need a bunch of nose surgeries. We get a MASSIVE Regal sucks chant as the crowd is very hot. Nick Patrick’s voice is very deep to say the least. Lawler gives us some great insight here by telling us a broken nose hurts. In a cool spot, Regal has a double underhook (setup for the Pedigree) and Edge backdrops him but Regal hangs on.
That looked good. Lawler talking about noses is getting up to the level of annoyance of puppies here. Regal’s agility is underrated. He really is light on his feet. Regal hooks the Regal Stretch which lasts for a little while. Edge’s eyes are of course greatness personified. Edge gets the bastard version of it on to be rude but it doesn’t work at all.
A fan shouts break his neck Regal, which is ironic as Edge would do just that in just over a year. The referee gets speared so Regal can get the knuckles out. The longest time to make a count in history ends this for Regal. He of course swears it was all just a regular punch.
Rating: C-. The main thing this has going for it is that it’s brutal. I mean these two beat each other up very well. Again though, I could have seen this on a Raw or Smackdown. PPV matches are supposed to be special ones that the TV shows build up to. That wasn’t the case here as there’s nothing here to justify paying for. That’s not good.
With no transition at all, here we are at the next match.
Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus
Jazz was more or less the Chyna of ECW. They brought her over in the Invasion angle and then realized the flaw in that plan: no one knew who she was. She had been around for about a year and did a few things of note but nothing worthy of being known on this scale. Anyway, Jacqueline is the guest referee here. This wasn’t announced on TV, and the reason is there’s no point to it and no one would have cared anyway.
They were trying to make it a big deal that women were refereeing here, but they couldn’t have done it worse. For one thing, she might have been the least cared about Diva ever. I mean did anyone like her? Also, naturally, she’s in a tied off top so it’s about sex appeal (or in her case the lack thereof) all over again. Trish is still pretty bad in the ring at this point but you can see that there’s talent there. At the time I’m writing this, I’m debating why ECW failed as a national company with NSL.
While Jazz is on the way to the ring, we see a very quick video of Jazz hurting Trish’s hand while King alludes to Jazz going after Trish in the past few weeks. See what they did right there? Inside of 30 seconds they’ve explained that Jazz has been aggressive towards Trish, established Jazz as the heel here, shown that Trish might not be 100% coming into this match, and said that this has been going on for at least a few weeks because King is mentioning other things that Jazz has done.
That took about 20 seconds. ECW at Barely Legal didn’t do that for most of the matches, and it would have helped tremendously. Apparently Jackie was the other option for #1 contender and lost, so that validates her being a referee. Again, there’s an explanation. It’s freaking stupid, but it’s something at least. Trish’s hand is indeed bandaged.
Jazz takes her apart for the most part early on but Trish manages to get a sunset flip to set up a very good pinfall reversal sequence that was very impressive. Jazz and Jackie get into it after Jazz takes over. Jackie gives a slow count as this is just horrible. Trish gets a not great Stratusfaction for two and Jazz is dominating again. She hits it again for the win. Yeah that’s it. Jazz destroyed her for the majority of the three minutes and then that bulldog ends it. WOW.
Rating: D+. This was very, very sloppy. Jackie had no point to being in this at all and added nothing to it. Jazz was just not worth having in there at all either as no one bought her as a big deal. Trish was just awful at this point but it was clear she had some skills. There would be times in her matches where you would stop and go hokey smoke at the things she would come up with. Eventually she would get a lot better, but not for awhile.
We recap Vince vs. Flair which makes me think there have been almost no backstage segments tonight which is very odd for a show like the Rumble. Anyway, this feud is because after the Alliance died, Flair bought Shane and Stephanie’s shares of the company, which led to the brand split soon after this. Vince said that it was his company so he hates Flair, leading to this match. Yeah it’s contrived but who cares?
Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon
Naturally it’s a street fight. This was back in the day when Flair still was in passable shape and could have some decent matches in the ring. Flair’s family is in the front row. Ross actually thinks it’s a big deal that Vince made Flair bleed. A hard stare can do that. Fink in the ring in the tux just looks right. Ross points out that both men are former world champions and former Rumble winners as it occurs to me how completely ridiculous Vince has been about pushing himself as a wrestler.
I know that he loves this very much but there comes a point where it’s just pushing yourself way too hard. Even Eric Bischoff didn’t get this bad. This has been a standard match so far. It’s very sad when a guy like Flair, who could put on classic matches with absolutely anyone (he had a very good match with Hawk of all people at Bunkhouse Stampede. If that doesn’t prove he’s the best ever, nothing will) has to get beaten up by Vince here, so Vince’s ego can be stroked.
Now we bring in the weapons which we need pretty badly here to validate Vince’s advantage. The fans are all behind Flair here of course. Flair is bleeding. I’m blown away. Lawler is cheering Vince on to no end here, which doesn’t surprise me. Flair showed up in Memphis around 1984 or 85 for a one night appearance and started the Jimmy Hart vs. Jerry Lawler feud that went on for the better part of a decade and caused more injuries to Lawler than should be humanly possible.
They’ve been on the floor for a good while now and Vince is dominating. He gets the camera from Flair’s family and takes a picture of them. That was just freaking pointless but then again Vince is involved in it so there we are. Oh good night take me now Vince is trying to use wrestling holds. Oh yeah the gimmick of the match is that Vince is turned on by destroying people, leading to a ton of bad jokes from Lawler.
Flair gets put in the figure four after having his legs worked on. Ross says this would ruin his professional career. That happened years before this so we have no worries there. Flair get the reversal and after being in the hold all of 2 seconds, Vince is limping. Holy oversell Batman. Vince finds a pipe that he hit Flair with a few weeks ago. Flair gets the forearm to the area below where a low blow should connect but not quite to the back to break that up though.
Ross says Vince’s heart, if he has one, is blacker than sin. No one can ever accuse Ross of being underwhelming. For no apparent reason, Flair looks at a monitor, which would show him looking at a monitor. This fascinates him for some reason. That makes great sense I suppose. Not really but I want to move on.
In a sick spot, Flair bites Vince’s open cut. I really hope he’s not a Twilight fan. Flair gets Vince’s pipe and knocks him over the head with a decent sounding shot. He puts the figure four on and Vince taps out. Apparently the pain causes him to wake up. The hold is released and Vince passes out again. That was pretty bad.
Rating: D+. This was a waste of time. It was two old guys fighting and trying to be hardcore and it failed miserably. The cut Flair had was decent but I still fail to see what the point of this was. Flair, a legendary wrestler, beat a non wrestler and that’s a big deal? This was just to say that Flair fought Vince and nothing more. This was pretty weak.
We see Jericho beating Rock at Vengeance to win the Undisputed Title, which is misleading because he beat Rock for the WCW title then Austin later on. To say Jericho was in over his head in this role is an understatement. Rock beat Booker to get his shot tonight. Jericho having a mental meltdown over Rock making fun of him is pretty good stuff.
Stephanie brags about what HHH is going to do to Austin tonight and what she would like to do to Debra, Austin’s wife. Austin comes up behind her and hilarity ensues. The WHAT chant could work really well if the timing was there.
WWF Title: Rock vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho still has both belts here which is kind of odd. They needed to just use the WWF one as it’s perfect looking as a title. The story was that HHH was supposed to be the champion first but since he wasn’t ready in time he got a Mania title win out of it and a new belt to go with it. No one bought Jericho as champion and I don’t think anyone ever has in any of his reigns. To be fair though, while he’s amazing on the mic as a heel, in the ring it just falls short.
No heel, especially one the size of Jericho, is going to be believable with a submission as his primary finishing move. It just doesn’t work. These two had been feuding over the WCW title for awhile before the Undisputed Title came into being. The promos of course were off the charts. That should be what this match is: a debate. It would have been more entertaining, which is saying a lot as the matches tended to be at least pretty good.
The beginning here is mainly feeling each other out which is fine. Jericho goes shoulder first into the post yet stays in control anyway. Well ok then. They’re starting slowly here. Not boring mind you but just slowly. That’s fine as it’s building to a big finish, which is that pesky little thing called psychology. Rock has his really short hair here which I’ve never liked at all. Jericho goes up but gets crotched as Rock hits the ropes. If nothing else that’s realistic so I’ll take it.
Ross says a pair of 2’s don’t beat anything. Any card player want to blast him there? The crowd is quite hot for this match which is always a good sign. Rock kicks out of two Lionsaults, as he brings the move back to life to kill its credibility even worse than it already was.
Rock hooks the really bad Sharpshooter while barely sitting back on it but Lance Storm and Christian, who were the UnAmericans soon after this with Jericho as an associate member soon after this, have the referee’s attention while Jericho taps. He gets out of it though and hits a Rock Bottom on the Rock for two. Jericho follows it up with the People’s Elbow as I’m just not buying him in the main event here.
He’s trying as hard as he can and the match is fine here, but he’s just in over his head I think. They hit the floor and Jericho takes a sweet looking Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table. Finkel running away from the area is a great visual. Lawler for some reason tells Fink to put the table back together. The image of him as a carpenter with that perfect voice of his is very amusing for some reason.
After a Walls of Jericho doesn’t work (SHOCKED), the referee goes down so we get Nick Patrick, who has been very pro-Jericho recently. Rock gets a cover but Patrick won’t count. He gets a Rock Bottom and Jericho gets the elbow. With the referee still down, Jericho gets a low blow and a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. Apparently Rock’s head hit an exposed turnbuckle too. That’s better I guess.
Rating: B+. While I didn’t really buy Jericho out there and there were some bad spots, this was a solid 20 minute match. It was designed to put Jericho over as a heel and I think it did that. The key thing was that there was at least a pin and not him keeping the belt by DQ or something. He cheated to get it, but that’s what a heel does. Rock was a bigger star so Jericho shouldn’t have gotten a clean pin so to me this was acceptable.
Jericho had it in the ring, but he didn’t feel like a world champion. Granted having to contend with the still incredibly popular Rock and Austin and the returning HHH and being more or less a guy to keep the belt warm for HHH, AND the NWO returning the next month, there was no way Jericho was going to get a fair shot at being seen as the top guy at the moment. This was good stuff though.
We get a long package about the Rumble which had been shown on TV a bunch of times in the weeks leading up to this.
Royal Rumble
Fink’s intro takes just shy of forever to get through. Rikishi is number one and Goldust is number 2. This is around the time that Rikishi was transitioning into something close to being a tough guy. Goldust is making a return here as apparently they were really hard up for talent or something. We’ve been going about 90 seconds here and I’m already bored out of my mind with this. They really couldn’t have picked a worse pair to start this out.
Three is Big Boss Man, who just won’t go away for some reason. This enforcer role never got over at all. He hits a clothesline on Rikishi and the fat guy does his inside out flip. Why is that impressive when we see it every time he gets hit by a clothesline? Bradshaw is fourth and this is just flat out horrible so far. The smallest guy in there is 6’6 and 260lbs. That might have something to do with it.
Stink face to Boss Man, which is still the dumbest move in history. Rikishi uses one of the two moves he was good at, a superkick, to set up the elimination of Boss Man. Bradshaw hits a powerbomb on Goldust to hopefully give him something resembling interest in him as Lance Storm is 5th. There is just nothing of note going on here. It’s just guys that you know aren’t going to win trying to throw each other out in something that’s never going to happen.
Snow brings the level of interest up to nonexistent at number 7. Storm takes a solid Clothesline. The fans aren’t that into this either so it’s not just me. Oddly enough, Snow gets the biggest reaction of anyone. Billy, currently being homosexual, is 8th. In a very cool sequence, Snow and Storm fight on the apron in a kind of karate match until Snow puts Storm out. That was a lot cooler than it sounded. Bradshaw is out too.
We have Billy, Goldust, Rikishi and Snow in there at the moment as Taker is 9th. He had been vowing to win the Rumble and he’s also recently heel. He puts out all four with relative ease. Typically I like that format, but there’s just pure apathy from me on this for some reason. Matt Hardy with a delicious looking Lita is next. Taker had beaten up the Hardys and Lita recently so there’s some story here.
Lita comes in also and manages to slow down Taker which is more than the worthless Matt can do. Say it with me: Jeff is 10th. He’s wearing a hat for no apparent reason. They get him down and then Lita comes in and they triple stomp him. Apparently the three of them had been fighting recently which I vaguely remember. They hit their double team move, and for the life of me I don’t get why Taker doesn’t know how to take the Twist of Fate.
He always sells it like a spinning neckbreaker and ends up on his back which is just completely wrong. Jeff gets thrown out and Matt gets a Last Ride before he’s out too. Eyebrows Huffman, more commonly known as Maven, is number 11. He had won Tough Enough maybe 4 months prior to this so he’s a complete rookie here. Lita gets up on the apron and the Hardys come back in.
They get tossed with ease, but as Taker is yelling at them, Maven gets back up and in easily the biggest upset in Rumble history, Maven hits a dropkick to the back of Taker to eliminate him. The reaction from the crowd and Ross and the look on Taker’s face are by far and away the best thing since 97 when Austin heard Hart’s music. I mean this was like Santino on his first night beating Umaga without Lashley’s help.
It was completely insane as Taker was one of the heavy favorites for this. Taker more or less loses any sense of emotion on his face but slowly turns to look at Maven. Just take a guess as to what starts happening next. Once the beating starts they go to the floor and Maven takes a freaking sick chair shot. Taker shoves a cameraman down and we get a shot of his legs flying into the air which is just amusing. Taker puts him back in the ring as Scotty comes in at number 12.
Taker punches him down, and this winds up keeping him down for about three minutes. Yeah one punch does that apparently. Taker throws Maven over the ropes and we go into the crowd where there just happens to be a space with no fans there. What a coincidence! They go up the stairs and into a concession area where Taker puts Maven through a popcorn machine. Christian is in at 13 somewhere during this time but we just see him in the ring.
Scotty is still down by the way. FINALLY he gets up and after the audience has had nothing to see for about 5 minutes we have the clash of Scotty vs. Christian. Maven is officially still in but they just say screw it. He got a world title match the next night that did nothing at all. DDP is 14th. He might be the worse use of a character that Vince has ever had. I mean he was a god in WCW and he’s a self help guy in the WWF. That’s Vince for you.
We see Maven again and if nothing else he sells quite well for a rookie. We get a Diamond Cutter on Christian and there goes Scotty after the Worm, which actually might be dumber than the Stink Face. Chuck is 15th as the jobber Rumble continues. I mean really why in the world should I care about this match in the slightest? Actually scratch that. I get why I should care about the match but there’s zero reason to care about any of the people in there.
Christian is European Champion which you need to know because typing it killed some time here. This whole show has been that way. The matches have been ok up to this point but GEEZ there is just nothing appealing about this match at all for me. To further the greatness here we have Godfather returning but no longer as a pimp. He now owns an escort service. Just take me now please.
He has 12 women with him and spends so much time dancing with them that not only do we miss DDP’s elimination but Albert, the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and I wish I was making that up, is being counted down for the 17th entrant as Godfather gets in the ring. Christian and Chuck put him out in about 30 seconds. Godfather goes out soon thereafter but not before we get that stupid as heck running splash.
Perry Saturn, completely insane at this point is 18th. His tights have a cow pattern on them. This really is mind numbingly boring at this point. No one cares about anything in this match for the most part either. THANK GOODNESS Austin is 19th to breathe some much needed life into this thing. He clears the ring before anyone else is in. In a funny moment he looks at an invisible watch and goes out and gets Christian and Chuck and throws them in to stun them and then throw them out again.
The crowd is awake for the first time in this whole match. Val Venis returns (it’s a theme thing tonight) and doesn’t look as good with short hair. His gimmick overshadowed his in ring ability as he was actually pretty good in the ring. The crowd is just insane for Austin here as we’re in the WHAT phase of his career. Part of the problem here is that there haven’t been a lot of people in the ring that aren’t jobbers.
The small amounts of people make it hard to really get anything going that feels like a good Rumble. Test is 21st. Geez did they ever miss the boat on him in 1999. He never got anywhere close to that level again either. Test misses a big boot on Austin and hits Venis so he’s gone. Test follows him about 30 seconds later so Austin is alone again and we have 9 entries to go.
22 is HHH and the reaction is good but not what JR wants us to believe. To make sure we don’t have a great showdown for two minutes or close to it because that would be, you know, interesting, HHH walks at an Undertaker pace. They really must have been trying to protect HHH here as they talk for a bit and they punch each other for ten seconds before the clock starts again and it’s Hurricane at 23.
He lasts about 30 seconds so at least we’ll get some Austin vs. HHH here. What are Hurricane’s powers supposed to be anyway? Have they ever been listed? Farrooq is 24th but instead of allowing him to start a ring full of people he’s out in less time than Hurricane. Mr. freaking Perfect is 25th which was a surprise I think. He would actually stick around for a few months after this. He was still relatively young here at 42, so it’s not like he was ancient.
For some reason we again are told that he made his Rumble debut in 93, which is just wrong as he was 4th in 89. Angle makes is in his first Rumble match at 26. For absolutely no apparent reason, Austin saves HHH just before Big Show comes in at 27. He’s wearing that one piece swimsuit that they claim was ring attire. They say he’s the biggest athlete in sports entertainment history which is so wrong I’m not even going to touch it.
Show and Austin never had that big match which I’m sure would have at least been pretty good. Angle is in a gorilla press but HHH makes the save, as Ross does the smart thing and says in essence that Angle would be useful in helping get rid of Show. Kane is 28th and I really want this thing to just end already. They do the completely clichéd double chokeslam spot that is just stupid at this point.
Kane does something impressive though by picking Show up and cleanly throwing him over the top in a slam. Angle puts Kane out less than a minute after he got in. Are we not allowed to have more than 5 people in a match for more than 30 seconds or something? RVD is 29th to a GREAT pop. He can’t be world champion though. He can just get great pops and put on great matches and look awesome, but he’s clearly not world title material.
He comes in with a Five Star on Angle. He gets an awesome RVD chant in his honor, but HHH’s pop killing sense kicks in and he hits a Pedigree to end that. We can’t have someone else getting over now can we? I didn’t think so. Let’s have no more of such crazy thoughts now. Booker is 30th, so your final group is Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, Austin and HHH. Well if nothing else the ending is star packed.
Why in the world would you get rid of Show and Kane that fast though? They pointed out how awesome Kane was last year so it’s not like that’s been forgotten. Booker eliminates Van Dam less than 10 seconds after he gets in and does a Spinarooni and is put out after being in the ring 30 seconds. Ok seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON??? Why in the world are these major stars going out in like a minute and a half each?
Austin breaks up a string of Germans with a WEAK low blow. I mean that was awful looking. This has to be a way to protect HHH or something. That’s the only way to explain the absurd booking of this thing. As Austin explains a spot to Perfect, Angle runs up and executes said spot by putting Austin out. To further protect HHH, everyone but him goes to the floor. That lasts all of four seconds, making it completely pointless.
Austin gets a chair and kills everyone not named HHH with it but then nails him anyway to make sure it’s a completely matched set. That was just a completely pointless bit as Austin just wasn’t a huge deal anymore. He should have fought Hogan at Mania though and there is zero arguing that, period. There’s no way anyone can convince me that Rock vs. Hogan was bigger than Austin vs. Hogan would have been.
Also, why in the world would you put Austin, the guy who main evented Mania the previous year, in a midcard throwaway match with SCOTT FREAKING HALL??? Perfect, the genius that he is, hooks the Perfectplex, which in this situation is a short suplex that doesn’t have a snap to it.
HHH puts him out so we’ve got Angle vs. HHH to finish us. And of course HHH Hulks Up and wins it to send us to the most lackluster main event of Mania in years because Hogan vs. should have been Austin was the real main event.
Rating: C-. The ending was the only appealing thing about this and even it was bad. Seriously, Booker, RVD, Show and Kane, four former world champions, were in the match a combined six and a half minutes, with about 90 seconds of that being walking to the ring. That’s just ridiculous on a ton of levels. It’s not like they would have been unrealistic in the ending or anything like that.
Last year’s was great, but there are three things here that messed this one up for me. First of all, it was pretty clear that HHH was going to win. I know there were legit alternatives in there at the end so that helped a lot, but it was still pretty clear. Second, the Iron Man last year was Kane at about 53 minutes. This year it was HHH at about 23. See the problem there? There’s no one that’s there for the entire Rumble to build up anything with.
Finally, unless I missed it, the longest amount of time there were six guys or more in there was about 45 seconds at the end. That’s just not enough to really get anything going. This was a bad Rumble in my eyes.
Overall Rating: B-. This is a quite good show. The women’s match is less than 4 minutes so the only bad match is a pizza break match. Still though, despite a solid card and a series of pretty good matches (while the Rumble was bad, it’s still watchable because it’s the Rumble and the ending is solid. I’m going to change that from a D+ actually.) there’s just something missing here.
It lacks the pop of 2000 and 2001, which may be because they knew WCW was on the run and that they could taste victory while here they have it. This show is good enough though as there may be some badly ranked matches, everything here is at least watchable. The street fight is fine for what it is I suppose and I could see some people liking it.
That sums this up well: I could see people liking it. I think part of it is not a lot of people watch these back to back so they have a lot of time between 2001 and 2002 to forget how awesome the previous two were. Anyway, this is a good but not great show that’s worth checking out, even though you won’t remember much of it a month later.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Main Event – January 7, 2021: Legends Are Bad
Main Event
Date: January 7, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe
It’s a new year (yes it is) and unfortunately it seems that the experiment of trying something new around here has already come to an end. I’m surprised it took that long actually, as Main Event continues to be either near or at the very bottom of WWE’s television ladder. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Akira Tozawa vs. Slapjack
Tozawa strikes away in the corner to start and snaps off a hurricanrana. There’s a missile dropkick for two and it’s back to the corner to stomp away even more. Slapjack catches him on top with a superplex though and a regular suplex gets two. It’s time to work on the arm with a stomp and some cranking, followed by a neckbreaker for two more. Tozawa is back with another hurricanrana into a Shining Wizard. The top rope back elbow gets two on Slapjack but Mustafa Ali offers a distraction to break up the top rope backsplash. Slapjack hits the Snapback for the pin at 5:05.
Rating: C-. Pretty standard opening here and that’s all it needed to be. I can always go for some Tozawa so seeing him on Main Event is better than nothing. It’s not like they have anything else going on for him so put him out there and hope for the best. Retribution has built up a nice little winning streak, but it’s not like these wins are going to mean much of anything.
We look back at Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns in the cage.
From Smackdown.
Kevin Owens vs. Jey Uso
Owens unloads on him to start and stomps Uso down with no trouble. They head outside with Owens hitting a backsplash on the floor, followed by another for two back inside. Back in and Owens starts in on Jey’s recently injured leg, including crushing it on the rope. Uso gets in some right hands for a breather and a superkick puts Owens down on the floor. They head outside with Owens hitting his own superkick and throwing him over the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Jey shoving Owens off the top. Jey has to bail out of the Superfly Splash though and Owens hits the Stunner for the pin at 7:25.
Rating: C. The post break stuff was rather short and the match was almost a squash. This should be setting up the next Reigns vs. Owens match at the Rumble and if so, they did a nice job of reheating Owens in a hurry. It wasn’t a competitive match or even close to one of the most part, but that wasn’t the kind of match they should have had here.
Post match the beatdown is on, with Owens telling Reigns to come help his family. Jey gets handcuffed to the top rope so the leg can be further destroyed. Owens finally gets tired of the beating and unhooks the cuffs, allowing Jey to stagger up the aisle. That just earns Jey another beating, including a superkick onto a table. Owens loads up something but here’s Reigns to jump him from behind. Jey grabs a chair and the big beatdown is on, with Reigns unloading with said chair. Owens gets sent into various screens and then gets tossed off the stage through a table to finally end the beating.
We look at Randy Orton teasing lighting Alexa Bliss on fire.
From Raw.
Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy
Orton pokes him in the eye to start and takes it to the floor. That lets him drop Hardy onto the announcers’ table a few times before going after the arm back inside. Hardy hits a clothesline but Orton knocks him out of the corner and hits the circle stomp. The chinlock goes on but Hardy neckbreakers his way to freedom. Orton rolls to the floor so Hardy hits a running clothesline off the apron to send us to a break.
Back with Orton grabbing the chinlock again but this time he puts his finger in Hardy’s ear gauges to pull rather hard. With that let go, Orton drops the knee for two instead. We hit another chinlock before Orton just opts to hammer Hardy down again. Hardy fights up and this time hits a basement dropkick for his own two. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for the same and Orton is sent to the floor for a dropkick through the ropes. The hanging DDT catches Hardy on the way back in though and the RKO finishes Hardy at 12:12.
Rating: C. I’m going to have to downgrade this one a bit as the ear gauge thing was hard to watch. Orton beating Hardy is going to keep him strong and it’s not like Hardy is going to lose anything by taking a fall here. Hopefully there is something else from Orton with the legends later though, because this wasn’t much in the way of being more evil and violent.
Ricochet vs. Drew Gulak
This should be good. Gulak is in long tights for a change and Ricochet takes him down by the leg to start. Ricochet’s headlock doesn’t work so they trade rollups for two. Now it’s Gulak getting in a headlock of his own, followed by a sunset flip for two of his own. A slam into the ropes puts Ricochet down again and we take a break.
Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock and sending him outside for the big flip dive. Ricochet has to bail out of a top rope dive so Gulak pulls him into a half crab. That sends Ricochet over to the ropes but the Kick Back is countered into another half crab. Gulak switches that into the STF but Ricochet is out again. Now the Recoil can finish at 10:44.
Rating: C+. Gulak is in the same league as Tozawa, as he can get a little something out of every match he gets to have. It’s nice to see him getting a little more time, but thankfully he gets some slightly higher spots than Tozawa. They’re both talented guys, but Gulak is just a hair ahead of him and that was on display here.
From Raw.
Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Keith Lee
Lee is challenging and walks through the legends (including Booker T. and Jeff Jarrett) to get here. They shove each other around to start and run the ropes, with Lee not quite getting high enough on a leapfrog. He’s fast enough to drop down as Drew comes back though (that was a smooth save) and then forearm him out to the floor. Lee follows him out and hits the big Pounce to knock Drew over the barricade.
Back from a break with Lee driving in elbows and shoulders in the corner to keep Drew in trouble. Lee slams him down to stay on the bad ribs for two and McIntyre’s belly to belly attempts are blocked. McIntyre finally sends him into the corner though and NOW the belly to belly connects (for some Legends applause). A neckbreaker sets up McIntyre’s nip up but Lee plants him with a spinebuster.
They head outside again with Drew managing a powerbomb off the apron, with Lee’s back hitting the edge of the announcers’ table as he crashes through to take us to a break. Back with the two of them going up top, with Lee hitting a freaking Spanish Fly for two, because he can just do something like that. The Spirit Bomb is countered though and the Claymore retains the title at 21:13.
Rating: B+. This was the kind of hoss/how are they doing that kind of match and if you ignore the times where they nearly killed/horribly injured each other, it was a heck of a fight. I’m a bit surprised by the ending, but Lee got a lot out of this and looked like a threat. If they can follow up on that, it might go somewhere for him, but that hasn’t quite been the case yet. Heck of a match here though.
Post match McIntyre grabs the mic but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg says McIntyre has a lot of things going for him, except for respect. McIntyre doesn’t respect those legends so that’s where Goldberg steps in. He isn’t demanding anything like a match at the Royal Rumble, but Drew seems interested.
They go head to head and Goldberg shoves him down….as we cut to Straight Up Steve Austin because we’re out of time. On a show that is THREE HOURS LONG, they manage to go over (for the second time in three weeks). That takes talent. Not as much talent as making up a character trait for McIntyre, but still talent.
This was horribly dumb, as McIntyre spent the entire summer defending the legends from Orton but now, because they need a story for the Rumble, he disrespects them? That’s not how writing a story works, but I don’t think WWE quite understands it that way. I did see a theory that said it was the script they had for Goldberg confronting Reigns and just changed the opponents. It’s just a fan theory but….would you put it past them?
Overall Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much easier Monday’s show was to watch when you drop most of the legends stuff. The show just wasn’t very good but going with the highlights worked out well enough. Throw in some Roman Reigns from Smackdown and you have a rather nice hour of programming. Now let’s wait until next week to see how much they change things again.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Ring of Honor TV – January 6, 2021: So That’s How They Did It
Ring of Honor
Date: January 6, 2021
Location: UMBC Events Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman
It’s a new year around here too and really, I have no idea what that is going to mean. Ring of Honor has changed so much in recent weeks but at least this time there is the Final Battle fallout to carry things forward a bit. Hopefully that is what we get here, even though I haven’t actually seen the pay per view yet. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We get stills from the major Final Battle events.
Quinn McKay welcomes us to the show and today is going to be about what happened with the pandemic over the summer. That could be interesting.
Matt Taven talks about being ready for the Anniversary Show but the Coronavirus felt like something that was far away and on the other side of the world. Then they went to Las Vegas and you could tell that things were different. Nothing made him more nervous than Ian Riccaboni ordering hundreds of dollars of supplies to his house. It was clear something was going to be different but then it got a little more serious.
Flip Gordon talks about how he wrestled in front of Las Vegas in front of no fans, which was a really weird situation. Ring of Honor has handled the pandemic well but he isn’t sure when the fans will be back. All that matters is him getting his World Title shot though.
Flip Gordon vs. Bandido
Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere, setting up a standoff. Gordon does his nip ups to avoid Bandido before sending him outside. Back in and a froggy crossbody gives Bandido two but Gordon ties him in the ring skirt and hammers away. We take a break and come back with Bandido getting sent hard into the barricade and then taking him back inside for a double arm crank.
Bandido fights up and nails a corkscrew high crossbody. A superkick gives Bandido two but Gordon hits his own kicks for the same. Another spinning kick to the face gives Gordon two as commentary talks about how everything was going the day of this show and how crazy everything was. Bandido gets in the X Knee, only to get taken down by the springboard spear. The Flip Fly finishes Bandido at 9:25.
Rating: C+. Is it any surprise that these two are going to have a good match? Bandido is one of the nearly guaranteed solid matches around here and Gordon can go with anyone, making this about as easy of a match as you’re going to get around here. It certainly must be weird in a situation like this but somehow, this has become the norm, which is so strange to fathom.
Buy Honor Club!
Some wrestlers talk about how everything went nuts on the way to Las Vegas for the Anniversary Show. The borders were closed, which made things confusing for some of the international fans. Then the shows were canceled but no one knew how bad things were going to be. Even with no fans, some wrestlers had an eight man tag which was more about having fun than anything else. With nothing else possible, they went out and had some fun together. Now they’re back and Ring of Honor is doing a lot of great things to keep them safe but they all want to go back to normal as soon as possible.
Mark Haskins vs. Jay Lethal
Vicky Haskins is here with Mark. They go to the mat to start until Lethal takes him up against the ropes for a breather. Lethal’s top wristlock takes him down but Haskins is back up to work on the leg. Haskins sends him outside for a running kick from the apron before cranking on the arm again back inside. Lethal is sent outside again where he blocks a suplex over the barricade and hits a handspring cutter off the apron.
It’s way too early for the Lethal Injection back inside but the Lethal Combination gets two. Lethal kicks him in the face but Hail to the King is countered into a Crossface. Then it’s the Rings of Saturn with Haskins grabbing the leg, leaving Lethal to use the free leg to reach the rope. Haskins hits a running knee to the face for two but Lethal chops away. The Lethal Injection is easily countered though and it’s the Sharpshooter, with Haskins pulling on the arm at the same time, for the tap at 8:44.
Rating: B-. Another match where the people involved made it a guaranteed pretty good match at worse, which is not a bad thing. I like Haskins more and more every time I see him and Lethal is Mr. Ring of Honor at this point. Seeing Haskins finally beat Lethal for a change was a nice moment, and it’s a shame that he has been stuck behind the travel restrictions since then.
Mark Briscoe talks about going to Vegas early but then having everything canceled in a big surprise.
Various wrestlers make it VERY clear that the company has kept them especially safe.
We see how the ROH bubble in Baltimore worked with Quinn going through all of their protocols and how well everything went. Even Dave Meltzer praised them!
Maria Kanellis Bennett is bringing back the Experience in January and you can pick what happens on the show!
Overall Rating: B-. This was rather different and it was in a good way. It was cool to see the behind the scenes look like this, as we’ve really just heard about the protocols in most companies. Yeah it was a good bit self serving, but I’ll take something unique over Christmas break than the usual Best Of shows. Very different stuff here, and that was good for a change.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – January 11, 2021: A Hot Ending To A Sad Coronavirus Anniversary
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
And then everything changed as Drew McIntyre was diagnosed with the Coronavirus, meaning that whatever was planned for this week has been thrown out the window in exchange for something to be named later. We have a few more weeks to go before the Royal Rumble and now they are going to need to have a backup plan just in case. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Here’s HHH to get things going, complete with soaking in the canned cheers Before he can get very far, Randy Orton cuts him off. Orton says the office is here to do what Drew McIntyre couldn’t do. HHH confirms that Orton vs. McIntyre isn’t happening tonight so HHH has two options: make Orton #30 in the Royal Rumble or just hand him the WWE Title right now.
HHH says Orton is only going to be champion if he wins the Royal Rumble. The threats start but HHH doesn’t want to hear them because he’s glad to have the old Randy Orton back. He saw Orton light Bray Wyatt on fire and was never prouder, because he would have done the same thing.
At the same time though, HHH doesn’t understand Orton’s obsession with destroying legends like Big Show, Mark Henry, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. Why do it when it doesn’t even benefit you? All that did was take the pride away because it shows that Orton is a no good pr***.
Orton asks if HHH has it in him one more time, but HHH says no because there is no benefit to him. Before HHH leaves, Orton asks if that is because Stephanie isn’t here tonight so HHH can’t get his testicular fortitude out of her purse. A right hand puts Orton on the floor and he smiles, saying that must be a yes. HHH whispering a lot aside, this worked fine enough as a way to set up a makeshift main event.
We look back at Ric Flair costing Charlotte a tag match last week.
Charlotte doesn’t want to talk about Ric, because Lacey Evans isn’t the first or last woman to hit on him. She doesn’t understand why we’re talking about her dad when she is about to wrestle a match in 2021, meaning it’s time to go to the ring.
Lacey Evans says Charlotte needs to have a sweet tea on the front porch. Ric Flair liked the flirting last week and Lacey could go for that kind of sugar. She dedicates the match to Ric and blows him a kiss, complete with a bit of swooning.
Drew McIntyre joins us via video and says that it’s true he has been diagnosed with Coronavirus. He’s one of the people with no symptoms, but if he can get it, anyone can. So wear your masks and practice social distancing, and he’ll be back really soon. Has anyone in WWE officially announced a positive diagnoses on TV before this?
Charlotte vs. Lacey Evans
Charlotte knocks her down to start as commentary shifts into Royal Rumble hype. The Figure Four Necklock goes on with Lacey’s face being rammed into the mat and then Charlotte rolls her over a few times. Charlotte takes it into the corner to crash down onto the knee but Lacey bails to the floor. Cue Ric Flair, who is looking rather happy, as we take a break.
Back with Charlotte hitting some shoulders in the corner but Lacey knocks her down, throws in a strut, and drives Charlotte’s head into the mat. Charlotte fights back up and hits a clothesline into the neckbreaker. Lacey gets booted in the face and Natural Selection connects, but Flair puts the boot on the rope. Flair says he isn’t home and he’s not staying home before tripping Charlotte on a suplex attempt. He even holds the leg down so Lacey can get the pin at 12:24.
Rating: D+. This is another case where you kind of have to wonder who this is being booked for. Is it just that Flair was bored at home and wanted something to do? I only ask because this isn’t exactly boosting Charlotte and while it might help Lacey a bit, there are how many people sitting at home while Flair gets ANOTHER story? It doesn’t help that Charlotte was mostly destroying her until the finish, but Lacey did need the win.
Post break Lacey and Ric head to the hotel.
We look at Drew McIntyre retaining the WWE Title over Keith Lee last week.
Sheamus compliments Lee on his effort last week but Lee doesn’t want to hear it. Cue Miz and Morrison to brag about the briefcase so Sheamus calls them Dumb and Dumber. The match is made for later as Miz and Morrison remind me more of Bulk and Skull every week.
Jeff Hardy vs. Elias
Actually hang on as Elias says he got hurt in the recording studio, so Jaxson Ryker is taking his place.
Jeff Hardy vs. Jaxson Ryker
Ryker says Elias uses his music to create, but Ryker is going to destroy. Jeff gets stomped in the corner but avoids a charge. The Twist of Fate (swinging neckbreaker in this case) connects but Elias offers a distraction so Ryker can grab a rollup with pants for the pin at 48 seconds.
Post match Hardy tells Elias to bring it so Elias tells Ryker not to interfere.
Jeff Hardy vs. Elias
Joined in progress with Hardy kneeing him down but having the Twist of Fate broken up. The Whisper in the Wind gives Hardy two but Elias’ jumping knee into a swinging neckbreaker gets the same. Hardy is back up with the Twist of Fate and the Swanton connects for the pin at 3:56.
Rating: C-. Just a quick match here as they already seem to be planting seeds for Elias and Ryker’s split. To be fair, it has been like a month or so already and that’s enough time for such a partnership. Hardy wrestling two matches (a stretch but true) in a row makes a bit more sense now, even if they’re to the split this soon.
We look at Orton/HHH again.
Miz/John Morrison vs. Keith Lee/Sheamus
Morrison’s headlock doesn’t work on Sheamus, who takes him down with a drop toehold. Lee comes in to work on Morrison’s arm but a quick forearm allows the tag to Miz. Morrison is tossed onto Miz on the floor and it’s back to Sheamus for a double clothesline off the apron. Back in and Lee sends Morrison flying, followed by a hard whip into the corner. That’s enough to break the turnbuckle so we take a break.
We come back with the turnbuckle repairman earning his pair and Lee whipping Miz into the same corner. This one doesn’t work as well so Sheamus knocks Morrison off the apron. That’s enough of a distraction for Miz to get one off his DDT, setting up some left hands. Morrison grabs a chinlock but has to switch to a gator roll to keep Morrison away from Lee.
A big boot rocks Sheamus but he hit the Irish Curse to cut Miz off. Lee comes in to start running people over with the big shoulders before just throwing Morrison at Miz. Morrison’s Flying Chuck is knocked out of the air but Sheamus tags himself back in to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 12:54.
Rating: C. This worked out well enough, including a unique enough spot with the rope breaking to send us to a commercial. Lee and Sheamus teaming for a bit before having a hoss fight is fine, as it gives them something to do and they could be a fun team. It’s nice to see Miz and Morrison get beaten up too, with Lee throwing Morrison at Miz being a cool visual.
HHH talks about how Randy Orton insulted Ric Flair and yeah, he’ll fight Orton tonight. He’s here in a business capacity, but he’ll fight because he wants to know if he would have lit the match.
Sheamus vs. Keith Lee
So much for the waiting. They chop it out to start with Lee getting the better of things, only to be sent out to the floor. Lee suplexes him into the timekeeper’s area but Sheamus dives back in at nine. Sheamus sends him shoulder first into the post and starts stomping away on the arm to keep Lee down.
The armbar goes on for a bit but Lee powers his way to freedom. That’s broken up with a kick to the face so Sheamus goes up, only to get caught on top. A superplex is broken up and Sheamus hits a top rope clothesline. Lee pops back up so it’s a jumping knee for two, followed by another armbar. That’s broken up with a powerbomb, followed by the Spirit Bomb to finish Sheamus at 6:53.
Rating: C+. Well ok then. So they’ve had a tag match and then a singles match, which I’m sure will lead to either another tag or singles match between the two of them. I can’t complain all that much here as it’s nice to see Lee win some matches, and Sheamus is good for a fight, but they can’t stretch this out for a few weeks?
We look at the end of last week’s show, with Goldberg challenging Drew McIntyre for the Royal Rumble title match.
We look at….the end of last week’s show, with Drew McIntyre defeating Keith Lee and then Goldberg making the Rumble challenge.
Drew talks about how he was surprised by Goldberg last week. He and his brother were both Goldberg fans growing up but Goldberg messed with his legacy last week. Goldberg put words in his mouth and then said Drew was thinking them. Drew respects the legends and if Goldberg wants to prove something, they’re on for the Royal Rumble. Goldberg is next.
Riddle compares winning the US Title to eating a pizza with a lot of cheese as the Lucha House Party is rather confused. They tell him to watch his back, but he thinks that’s impossible.
Xavier Woods vs. T-Bar
Woods is on his own (saying Kofi Kingston is injured) and T-Bar (with the rest of Retribution) shoves him around to start. A heck of a clothesline gives T-Bar two and we hit the nerve hold. Woods fights up and chops away before avoiding a charge in the corner. There’s an enziguri to rock T-Bar again, followed by a missile dropkick to the floor. Mace offers a distraction so T-Bar can work on Woods’ arm, setting up Feast Your Eyes (now known as Eyes Wide Shut) for the pin at 3:53.
Rating: C-. It’s nice to see T-Bar and Retribution on a bit of a winning streak for a change, though it’s still kind of hard to believe that anything is going to last. The team just feels so worthless anymore and there is a good chance that they are never going to get out of this hole. At least they’re doing something though, and maybe they can do something better in the future.
Orton is ready to channel his hatred into beating HHH.
We look at Orton challenging HHH again.
US Title: Riddle vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley, with MVP, is defending and jumps Riddle before the bell. Riddle confirms he can go so we officially start, despite his mouth being busted open. Lashley drops him ribs first onto the top rope to send things outside but Riddle is right back with a Floating Bro to the floor. Back in and the Final Flash is countered into a spinebuster as Lashley is getting fired up. The Hurt Lock goes on and Riddle taps at 1:59.
Post match Riddle says he wants MVP, who is game for a fight of his own.
Riddle vs. MVP
MVP is in street clothes but is fine enough to hit Ballin for two. Riddle fights back with the forearms in the corner but Lashley comes in with the spear for the DQ at 1:23.
Post match Lashley beats Riddle down again.
We look at Adam Pearce becoming #1 contender to Roman Reigns thanks to Roman Reigns.
AJ Styles talks to Pearce and says if he catches lightning in a bottle, he can face AJ at Wrestlemania and lose the Universal Title. Drew Gulak pops up to ask to be in the Royal Rumble, but Pearce says Drew can’t just put himself in. Gulak: “Why not? AJ did.” AJ asks who Gulak has beaten so Gulak pulls out a flash drive of his victories. Instead Pearce says Gulak is in if he can beat AJ next.
AJ Styles vs. Drew Gulak
Omos is here with Styles. Gulak starts fast with a rollup for two, followed by a tiger driver for the same. Back up and AJ scores with the Pele kick before shoving Gulak over the top to the floor. Omos puts his foot down next to Gulak’s face (giving us a great bugged out eye look, plus a sweet panning up camera shot on Omos) until AJ comes over to throw him back inside. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Gulak at 3:11.
Rating: C-. As usual, Gulak looked fine while he had a chance but it wasn’t that much of a chance. I like Gulak more and more almost every time I see him but I think he has firmly hit his ceiling. The match was slightly more competitive than I was expecting, even if the ending was never in any serious doubt.
Video on Goldberg.
Keith Lee offers HHH his services against Randy Orton but HHH has this. Lee hands him his leather jacket.
Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke
Mandy and Dana are both in the Rumble. Dana’s headlock on Shayna doesn’t work so well as Nia tags herself in and runs Dana over. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Dana fights up and brings in Mandy. Shayna is driven into the corner but Nia gets in a cheap shot to cut her off again. The Samoan drop gets two as Dana makes the save so Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 3:20.
Rating: D+. You know, for a show where the roster is so depleted, you might want to have a few more matches go longer than four minutes. Jax and Baszler continue to dominate while we keep waiting on Rose and Brooke to take over. Then again that might not make Jax look like the most dominant woman ever so why would we want to go in that direction?
HHH vs. Randy Orton
HHH is in street clothes and we have neither a bell nor a referee. They slug it out to start with Orton getting the better of things before heading outside. HHH whips him into the steps and then near the announcers’ table to take over. That means it’s sledgehammer time, but then the lights start going out. HHH pulls back the sledgehammer….which is now on fire. The lights go out and HHH disappears but we’ve got a distorted version of the Firefly Fun House theme. Cue Alexa Bliss in the corner and she throws a huge fireball at Orton’s face. Orton holds his face and screams a lot to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. I know it’s a show no one was going to watch with the football game on and they seem to have been wrecked by a mixture of Coronavirus and injuries, but sweet goodness people. Look at what you have available here and tell me how this is the best show you can put on.
There were ten matches on this show (not counting HHH vs. Orton which was a brawl instead of a match) and seven of them didn’t break four minutes. Maybe try a longer match instead of just replaying the same clips over and over for a change? I can expect that out of a budget promotion like MLW but this is supposed to be the top company around. You have enough people available here and yet four people have to wrestle twice? Even with the situation they were in, WWE can do so much more than this and seeing them punt AGAIN made for a very long three hours.
Results
Lacey Evans b. Charlotte – Pin with Ric Flair holding the foot
Jaxson Ryker b. Jeff Hardy – Rollup with tights
Jeff Hardy b. Elias – Swanton Bomb
Sheamus/Keith Lee b. Miz/John Morrison – Brogue Kick to Morrison
Keith Lee b. Sheamus – Spirit Bomb
T-Bar b. Xavier Woods – Eyes Wide Shut
Bobby Lashley b. Riddle – Hurt Lock
Riddle b. MVP via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered
AJ Styles b. Drew Gulak – Phenomenal Forearm
Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Kirifuda Clutch to Rose