Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVII (Original): The Great One

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 17
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman
Star Spangled Banner: N/A

And here it is. This show makes up for the back to back lousy shows. This review is going to be extremely biased as I’ve made no secret to the fact that I think this is the greatest PPV of all time, as do many others. Some, including me, say that this was the end of the Attitude Era. WCW and ECW were both gone in their original forms by this point and the WWF reigned supreme.

While I’ll save the backstories for the individual matches, WCW going out of business plays a role later on in the show in case you didn’t know. I used to have the original on video but I’ve misplaced it since then. It might have ran away as I’ve probably watched this show 75 times all the way through. Does it still hold that honor, almost 8 years later? Let’s find out.
We start with a bit of a strange video of people all over the world watching Wrestlemania, implying that it’s almost a spiritual event. One thing I don’t get though: a man and a woman curl up in the back of a car to watch it. Since when can you get PPV in the back of a car? I think I’m looking too deeply into this. Let’s get on with the show.

The main event here is the face vs. face rematch of Austin and the Rock, which was absolutely the only choice for the main event as neither had anyone even remotely close to them. If this tells you anything, the second biggest match on the card was Taker vs. HHH. Even that, two of the biggest stars of all time going at it pales in comparison.

The version I’m watching has Limp Biskit’s My Way in it. The edited version sees it replaced by a song called Adrenaline Rush. This was used as the recap song for Impact, and this DVD of WM came out after that song was used by TNA. There’s something great about that. We are live in the Houston Astrodome, making this the first of the stadium Manias in quite some time.

It really makes it look better to me as there are almost 4 times as many people as there were at some Manias. The ring looks tiny and I love the visuals here. Paul Heyman is your analyst tonight as Lawler had quit the company. His wife, diva the Kat, had been released from the company for reasons unclear. Lawler thought it wasn’t fair so he quit as well. The witch then left him, causing him to lose his pride and come crawling back to Vince.

Enough talking. On with the action! And more talking, but I guess that goes with the territory.
Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

This was during the time when Regal was the Commissioner of the company. On his first night with that job, Jericho had some out and asked him to shut up. Regal responded by putting Jericho in various handicap matches. Jericho fights back by having Kane and Undertaker destroy his office and relieving himself in Regal’s tea. We get this match to resolve this feud. In the time it took me to type that, Jericho has finally made his way to the ring.

Jericho also did a thing on Raw where he dressed up as Doink to beat up Regal. Never got the point of that one. Another aspect of the story is Regal beat up Jericho on Smackdown, injuring Jericho’s left shoulder with his finishing move known as the Regal Stretch. During Regal’s entrance we see the recap of what I just told you about. The aisle is LONG here so there’s time for a lot of talking and recapping during entrances.

Jericho gets a clothesline to start and the forearm sets up some mounted punches. Spinwheel kick puts Regal on the floor and Jericho is like screw it and hits a plancha to take Regal down. Heyman is fired up to be here to put it mildly. Top rope back elbow gets two and Jericho tries the Walls which he can’t hook on. Regal’s chest is RED from those chops. He manages to send Jericho shoulder first into the post and there goes the momentum. He does it again just for emphasis.

Suplex gets two and Regal works over the arm again. Jericho tries a quick Lionsault which misses and Regal gets a rollup for two. Another suplex gets two. Regal pulls the turnbuckle pad and Jericho’s shoulder goes into it twice. The referee is all cool with this I guess. Jericho fires off some enziguris to break things up a bit, called martial arts by Ross.

Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two for Jericho. He charges at Regal in the corner but misses. Regal manages to get a butterfly suplex off the top which oddly works for him. No cover though as Regal is down. Scratch that as it was just delayed and it gets two. Belly to back is reversed into a Walls attempt but the shoulder gives out and he can’t do it.

Regal locks on the Regal Stretch and Jericho is reeling. There’s the rope though with a lunge. That’s not quite the STF as it’s more of a half nelson instead of a crossface. More chops by Jericho and he rams Regal into the buckle that was exposed. Bulldog sets up the Lionsault and it’s over very abruptly. I think they ended it early as Ross sounded surprised that it ended there.
Rating: B. Not long enough to be great, but there’s no dead spots and both guys beat on each other really well. Solid opener between two guys that know what they’re doing out there. It always helps when you can tell these guys know what they’re doing and want to be out there. Good stuff and a very good opener.

Shane arrives late, complete with a WCW license plate. Surely a collector’s item.

APA and Jackie are in the back but they can’t find Tazz. Bradshaw doesn’t like that, and he says a great promo: “You don’t understand. It’s Wrestlemania! Heart are going to be broke. Legends are going to be made. Egos are going to be shattered and people are going to be kicked. We’ve got a match, LET’S GO!” Dang indeed.

APA/Tazz vs. Right To Censor

It’s my Lee special here. Very simple backstory here: RTC hates the APA because they smoke and drink. Tazz is just kind of there for the ride. I think RTC got on him for being a thug but that was minor. Paul Heyman makes some jokes saying they’re extremists, and when I hate something extreme, you know it’s bad. The one flaw to this show might be the entrance to the ring. Tazz is still walking when APA’s music hits.

Heyman’s jokes about Texas are great as you can tell he doesn’t like the place. If there’s a bad match on the show, this is definitely it. RTC in this case is Val Venis, Godfather and Buchanan. Jackie and Stevie are the backups on the floor. Val and Taz start slug it out on the floor and then in the ring so they start us off I guess.

Jackie DDTs Stevie as this is a big brawl to start. Ok never mind as it’s Buchanan vs. Farrooq to officially get us going here. Buchanan could certainly move for someone his size but he walks into a powerslam by Farrooq. Off to Tazz now as the beating is on. Big boot breaks that up and here comes the RTC. That could be a really bad sitcom.

Val comes in with some knees to Tazz’s ribs. Russian Leg Sweep gets two. Tazz is sent into the ropes and falls into them in something resembling a botch. Goodfather gets an elbow to take him down and a belly to back gets two. The former Ho Train hits but a Vader Bomb misses. Bradshaw comes in and cleans house, barely getting Goodfather over with a backdrop.

Everything breaks down and it’s a double spinebuster for Val, followed by a belly to back off the top rope. The roof looks like a spaceship or something and every time they show it the thing looks awesome. Another not Ho Train misses and the Clotheslin ends Goodfather.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it was far from great. They kept this short, which is good because there was really no point to this. Fast paced and the APA beating people up was always fun. If this is the worst match on the show, I can more than live with it as this was perfectly fine but would have been better suited on Raw I think.

In the back, Trish brings in Linda in her wheelchair to meet Stephanie. Might as well give you the story now. Vince had said he wanted a divorce from Linda, who had a nervous breakdown because of it. Vince put her in an asylum or a rest home or something like that while he had an open affair with Trish. This was highlighted by a famous scene where Trish said she’d do anything for him so in the ring he had her strip to her underwear and crawl around, barking like a dog.

Shane reappeared and was furious with his dad for all of this so he challenged him to a street fight. With HHH’s help, Vince beat Shane down. However, the Monday before Mania, it was announced that Vince had (legitimately) bought WCW. However, in kayfabe, he had wanted to sign the contract at Wrestlemania.

Shane took this opportunity to sneak in and buy WCW from Vince, signing the papers that Monday instead of waiting. Shane showed up on the final Nitro to announce it, 6 days before the street fight. This eventually led to Stephanie “buying” ECW and the dreadful Alliance angle that took over the company all Summer. Had it not been for HHH tearing his quad, this angle could have been the biggest of all time. But that’s another story for another time. Anyway, Stephanie treats Trish like crap and she just takes it. There’s a joke there somewhere.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

No real story here other than giving Raven an impossible set of opponents to defend the title against. Paul’s advice to Raven: run a lot. I can’t say I disagree. Heyman says he’s a fearless man which gets a funny response from Ross of “let’s not get carried away here.” Kane and Raven go at it before Show gets here. Raven jumps him with a piece of plastic which gets him nowhere.

Here comes Show who takes his time getting to the ring. Someone in the front row wave a Twinkie and he’ll be here in seconds. With Show on his way, Kane presses Raven onto him over the top. Show catches him and tries the Final Cut (why call it that anyway? I never got that name) but Kane takes Show down with a top rope clothesline to the floor for two.

We’re in the crowd already and that’s the last time we’ll be in the ring all match. Show is in his swimsuit here. The cameraman has to try to follow these guys which doesn’t work at all. Show and Kane hammer on each other as Raven is nowhere to be seen. Ah there he is with a plastic something or other.

Kane grabs Raven and throws him into a wall which has a hole in it now. Show slams Kane onto some pallets that are made of wood and chases Raven down. They go into some caged storage area which Show locks. Kane is like screw that and rips the door off and they keep up the fight. They look like it’s all cleaning supplies or something like that.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose and they go out of the cage place. Kane keeps choking with the hose and then picks him up, throwing him by the neck through a glass window of an office kind of place. Show, not to be out done, knocks Kane through the door. Show wants the chokeslam on the floor but Kane fights him off, knocking him through the wall into another room.

Raven stumbles in and tries to get a shot in which gets him nowhere. The champion steals a golf cart but Show jumps on the back. Kane gets one of his own and brings the referee to chase after Raven and Show. He almost runs over Raven’s leg as we hit catering. Raven is thrown into the Snapple and the coffee much to Paul’s dismay.

You can tell they’re getting tired here as we hit the Gorilla Position. They come out to the stage as the giants stalk Raven. Kane goes off on Show but runs into a clothesline to take him down. Show picks up Raven to toss him off the stage but Kane kicks Show off the stage and into part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg onto them and pins Show to get the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great. It was meant to be a wild brawl and that’s exactly what it was. We knew Raven would lose, just not who he would lose to. Quite well done and fine for what it was. This was designed to be a fun hardcore match and it worked just fine as that.

Angle is watching a video of him tapping to the Crossface. Edge and Christian come up to talk but Angle doesn’t feel very chatty. He looks for what it means to officially tap out, saying that since it wasn’t a match, he didn’t actually tap. This is intense Kurt and it works really well.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York, a nightclub/restaurant that was WWE themed. That would have been awesome.

There’s an Aussie at the show. Kind of cool actually that someone flew 30 hours from Australia for the show. There’s a REALLY bad edit here as I remember the woman saying WWF at least twice. It’s really badly covered up here. Stupid panda loving hippies.

Rock arrives at the arena, 45 minutes into the show.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Always sad to see the two dead people wrestling on any show. Dang Eddie’s music was sweet. Don’t really think there was much of a story here other than Eddie is your challenger. That belt just looks tiny on Test. Eddie was a guest referee on Raw in a match with X-Pac which I think happened once the match was made. Paul explains that Texas is part of Mexico. I love Heyman at times.

Test gets a gutwrench powerbomb almost immediately so we hit the floor after the two. Saturn is on the floor and in Eddie’s corner. Test dominates with power here but gets caught going up on the inside. Eddie tries a rana and either they botch it or Test didn’t know what was coming as he just stays there. Test gets a shot from the middle rope for two and hammers away even more.

A big boot by the Canadian misses and Test gets all caught up in the ropes. Eddie more or less rolls his eyes as he has to unhook Test who falls to the floor. Eddie hammers on the ankle and we go back into the ring. We kind of hit a lull as there isn’t much going on here. A sleeper by Eddie wastes some time. Test gets a tilt-a-whirl slam to break the momentum and they slug it out some.

Another tilt-a-whirl is spun into a powerbomb by Test for two which looked awesome. Test wants the Full Nelson Slam but Eddie gets a low blow, allowing Saturn to hit the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (it’s a neckbreaker and yes that’s the real name) for two. Ross shouts about there being a third man in the ring. That’s very true JR. He’s called a referee.

Frog Splash misses and the pumphandle slam only gets two as Saturn distracts. Big boot is loaded up and Saturn interferes again, taking the least convincing big boot ever. Another boot to Eddie gets two as Dean Malenko interferes. Test had to wait to cover Eddie forever because Dean took awhile to get to the ring. Saturn throws in the belt and Eddie pops Test to win the title.
Rating: C-. This is easily the worst match of the show and it’s not completely terrible. Eddie clearly carries it but Test’s power offense was always fun. Not terrible, but for a Mania match, this was pretty bad. Definitely could have been left out and put on Heat instead. Also this probably should have been about two minutes shorter.

Mick Foley, the guest referee for the street fight says that he’s not at all biased towards Vince for beating him up and firing him on national TV. He’s calling a fair match tonight.

And he’s going to do it right here, in Houston, Texas!

Austin is just getting here. Good grief the tardiness! We’re an hour into the show almost and he’s just getting here? Someone fine this guy and give him a stern lecture!

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Ok, here’s your story reenactment. 6 days ago on Raw:

Benoit: I don’t have a match at Mania.

Kurt: Neither do I.

Both: Let’s have a match.

Seriously, that’s it. This was thrown on the card because two top stars had nothing to do at all. Angle runs down the Texas fans for the cowboy hats. Also the flag is missing 49 stars. That’s hilarious. Paul: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Never let it be said he doesn’t say what he was thinking.

Naturally we hit the mat to start as this is about as technical as you can get. The fans applaud the standoff as they probably should. Back to the mat and it’s another standoff. We hear about how great they both are and it’s amazing to me that Angle has only been a pro for a year and a half now. That’s incredible. Angle overpowers Benoit and grabs a suplex kind of move.

Back to the mat again as this is almost all grappling so far. Angle tries for the ankle but it’s back to just laying on Benoit. This is very different but still incredibly interesting as you can see that they both know what they’re doing on a man. Benoit almost gets the Crossface but Angle makes a rope. Another single leg by Angle but Benoit tries the Crossface again, only for Angle to get to the ropes again.

More grappling and again Benoit can’t quite get the hold on before the rope is grabbed. Angle pops him with a right hand and it’s time to fight. Out to the floor and Angle whips Benoit into the steps to really take over. Back in the ring and Angle gets a vertical suplex for two. Make it a pair of both. Benoit fights back with HARD chops but walks into a belly to belly to get a woo out of Angle.

Another belly to belly has Benoit in trouble. We get a Jack Brisco reference which results in another argument from Ross and Heyman. More chops by Benoit and momentum shifts a bit. Snap suplex gets two as Benoit channels his inner Dynamite Kid. Superplex off the top puts Angle down but Benoit can’t cover. Blast it stop with the delayed covers!!! It gets two as you would expect.

Time for the Rolling Germans as Angle is in trouble again. Angle reverses into the ankle lock attempt but Benoit counters into an ankle lock of his own. Crossface attempt number four but Angle has a hand between the grip and the face, allowing him to get a rollup to escape. Angle grabs a Crossface of his own which might look more painful than Benoit’s.

Down goes the referee (of course) and Benoit gets the Crossface. Angle taps (of course again) but there’s no referee. Benoit (of course) lets go of the hold instead of waiting on the referee and Angle gets the Angle Slam for two (wow these guys are predictable). Moonsault misses (that might have hit 5 times ever. I’ll stop with the parentheses now) but the headbutt gets two. Benoit tries a suplex but Angle gets a low blow and cradles Benoit with tights to end this out of nowhere.
Rating: B+. The finish kills this for me. These two are two of the best workers of all time and we need a pull of the tights for a pin? That doesn’t fly with me. However, the other stuff they did is absolutely great. If you can believe this, this isn’t even close to their best match ever. For that, check Royal Rumble 2003. That match is a candidate for greatest match of all time. I’ve been watching these two for years and I’ve yet to see a bad match from them.

Kamala is in William Regal’s office. Hilarity ensues. Heyman shakes his head like he’s waking up from a nightmare.

We see a video of a Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, Texas. This was really cool I thought. A bunch of wrestlers, mainly some divas, Angle and Taker visited the soldiers. Factor in that 9/11 was about 5 months away so soldiers at home were still the biggest thing I suppose. The commander got a nice WWF recliner and the wrestlers got plaques. Lita doesn’t seem thrilled about being there. Angle like it but would rather have a medal.

Angle is upset about something, saying he deserves the title. Benoit attacks and locks on the crossface and Angle taps again.

We see the recap of Chyna vs. Ivory. The idea here was that Chyna had a bad neck, allegedly caused by Ivory. Ivory, as a member of RTC, wasn’t happy with Chyna being in Playboy. Now this is the time where I’ll embarrass myself. At the time, Ivory was kind of like the evil feminist. To steal the term from JR, imagine Lillith from Cheers or Frasier as a wrestler.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

The only good thing here is Chyna more or less in a purple bikini. She launches a bunch of pyro with this big gun she carried with her at this time. What do you expect here? This might last three minutes as Chyna annihilates Ivory. Ivory gets in a few shots and that’s about all. It ends with a press slam and Chyna officially murders the division to get the title. It took that mistress from Canada and the redhead to save it.

Rating: N/A. Not a match, but a squash. The problem here was that Chyna was a former IC Champion and had some great matches with men, including clean pins over guys like Jericho. Why should we believe that anyone else had a chance against her? Simply put, we didn’t. There was one good thing though. At this time, Chyna wanted money the likes of which Taker and HHH were getting.

Vince is a bit loony some times, but even he knew that was never going to happen. Chyna was gone within three months and the real women’s wrestlers were able to revive the division, including one of the best rivalries I’ve ever seen in Trish vs. Lita. This was a total slap in the face of the Women’s Division though.

In the back, Vince tells Michael Cole that he’ll get something shocking tonight.

I already recapped this feud above so read about it there.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Naturally this is a street fight. Can someone explain why Shane, the face, is the one owning the invaders but Vince, the guy that represents the home grown talent is the heel? No one else could either so finally in June they made the change to fix this and we got the Alliance. We see some WCW people in a box in the rafters. Some faces I can identify: Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak, Bobby Eaton, Chavo Guerrero and that’s it. Seriously? That’s the best you’ve got? And people have the nerve to ask why this bombed.

Vince and Shane have the same music which is kind of odd. Foley is the referee. Stephanie is with Vince and there’s no sign of Trish or Linda. Vince pummels Shane to start us off and Shane is in trouble. Shane fires back with basic strikes until Stephanie comes in to distract him. He hammers on Vince with a sign of some kind and adds a clothesline to keep Vince down. Some kendo stick shots have Vince in big trouble.
After some punches, Shane smashes him in the head with a monitor in an absolutely sick shot and lays him on the… wait for it. Wait for it. It’s coming. HE LAYS HIM ON THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! WOW! What a cool idea! Who would have ever thought of putting someone on there? Also, who makes those tables? They’re making a fortune which is impressive because they apparently make REALLY bad tables.

Shane goes to the top and launches a picture perfect elbow drop onto Vince but Stephanie pulls him out of the way as Shane “crashed, and he for sure, BURNED!” according to your favorite Oklahoman. At this point, Trish brings out Linda in the wheelchair. The cleavage on Trish is mind blowing here, especially compared to Stephanie who hasn’t had her plastic surgery done yet. It’s kind of odd looking actually.

Anyway, Trish starts helping Stephanie up but turns face by slapping the tar out of Vince. We get a cat fight and Foley pulls them apart before Stephanie slaps him. Trish chases her down the aisle and in the worst acting job of all time, she “falls” running down the aisle and Trish nearly catches her. Back at ringside, Vince nails Foley with a chair as Foley tries to protect Linda from Vince.

Vince puts Linda in the ring. He throws Shane and four garbage cans into the ring. Linda stands up and the crowd pops. Vince turns to see her and spreads his legs open to set up Linda kicking him low. Foley beats the tar out of Vince to allow Shane the chance to set up a Coast to Coast in an amazing athletic move to get the pin, as apparently he, Trish, Foley and Linda worked together to screw Vince over. They walk to the back as Vince’s, uh I mean Shane’s, or is it Vince’s, no wait it’s Shane’s I think, music plays. Get your own bad rap music already Shane!

Rating: B. This was a messy brawl, but given who it was and the ending, it was fun. Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers, but they can put on a passable fight. That dropkick from Shane is always cool and this was its debut. To have all of these angles come together in one match is really quite impressive.

We see the Hardys at Access talking about how they’re going to put their bodies on the line to win the tag titles. Truer words have never been spoken.

We cut to HHH getting ready for no apparent reason before cutting to Taker for no apparent reason. Dang that X7 baseball jersey was sweet. Always wanted one of those.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This is yet another match with no story but it never needed one. These three teams all wanted to be the champions and this match was fairly obvious. The Dudleys come in as champions here. All four faces jump the Canadians to get us going here. The Dudleys hit a flapjack to Christian as the beating is on. The Hardys take down the Dudleys for awhile until Edge and Christian bring in a ladder.

Edge grabs a chair and he and Christian stand on Matt’s balls in the corner. A double drop toehold by the Canadians puts Jeff into the chair. Edge tries to get the belts but Jeff makes the save. The Hardys get a double baseball slide into a ladder into the Dudleys on the floor. Using a pair of ladders, Matt drops a leg and Jeff drops a splash on Christian at the same time. Nice move.

There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the girls. What’s Up to Edge And now it’s table time. Edge is laid out on one so Bubba picks up Jeff and powerbombs him right through Edge and in turn the table. On the floor now and the Dudleys stack up two tables on top of two more tables for the big spot later in the match. Paul talks about Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Oh dear.

More ladders are brought in and in a spot that still makes me and the crowd breathe in, Bubba takes a ladder and just bashes Matt in the head with it. That has to hurt something fierce. All six guys go up at once and all six guys come crashing down almost at once with some hitting ropes, some hitting mat and some hitting ropes. Christian goes flying to the floor which looks AWESOME from the above the ring camera.

He sets up a table on the floor as Edge tries to go up. Spike Dudley who was injured by Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno, comes out and takes down Edge and hits a Dudley Dog to Christian through the table. Jeff goes up but it’s Rhyno out now for the save. Gee I wonder who will come out to help out the Hardys. Rhyno destroys everyone and here’s Lita.

She stops Edge from going up but gets caught in a gorilla press by Rhyno. Spike saves her and it’s a Litarana for Rhyno. Spike hits Rhyno with a chair and he falls into a ladder, sending Edge down. Dudleyville (Doomsday) Device to Rhyno and he’s finally down. Lita takes her top off (looking incredibly good in a black bra) but walks into a 3D. Chair shots by the Canadians take out the Dudleys and Edge wants the big ladder.

Jeff gets the large ladder though and hits a Swanton onto Rhyno and Spike who are both on tables. Spike takes the whole thing and Rhyno’s table doesn’t even break. That was ALL Spike. The big ladder is in the ring now and set up in the middle of the ring. Christian and D-Von go up but Matt moves the ladder under them (with a shout of HERE WE GO first) and they’re stuck hanging there.

After both fall, Jeff walks across the top of the three other ladders (kind of as the third one falls) to get to the titles. The big ladder is in the corner and Jeff goes up a regular one. The ladder is moved by Bubba and since Jeff’s feet were on it, Jeff goes swinging in the opposite direction, right into a spear by Edge from the super ladder, which is not only Edge’s Wrestlemania moment, but the moment that made him a star.

Back after about 5 replays with Bubba and Matt going up the big ladder. Rhyno shoves the ladder over and they go crashing through the four tables that were set up at ringside earlier. D-Von and Christian go up but Rhyno gets beneath Christian and climbs up with Christian on his shoulders, giving him the needed assist to win the titles again. Incredible match all around to say the least.
Rating: A+. These guys nearly killed each other. You can see that it’s miles better than last year because they knew what they were doing to a greater extent. That spear from Edge more or less ended Christian’s usefulness in the WWF as Edge began to get the singles push from here on out.

Either way, this match is great as it’s a total spot fest but it is still better than all of the MITB matches that would follow in its footsteps. If you’re bored here, go get a blood injection. The crowd ate this up and it just clicks all around as they somehow top the other matches they had which are also greats.

JR looks at the carnage and says it looks like a tornado went through a mobile home park. There are wrestling rings and ladders at a destroyed mobile home park?

Video on Axxess, which looks AWESOME. Various wrestlers say this is awesome, and they’re right. You can call matches, get autographs and see all kinds of exhibits. I’d love to go to something like this to say the lease.
There’s a record crowd for the Astrodome of 67,925. That’s very impressive.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

To any other old school freak like me, welcome to nostalgia heaven. We have 18 men in this and it’s nothing but the most off the wall gimmicks that the company could think of. Given some of the stuff WWF had done up to that point, this could be mind blowing. As an added bonus, Gene freaking Okerlund and BOBBY HEENAN do the commentary.

Oh my goodness, we have found the greatest Wrestlemania match of all time. During the entrances Bobby calls Gene Tony in a funny bit. Butch licks Mean Gene just like he did to me at a house show. The pop for Jim is ridiculous. You need to look all of these people up if nothing else to learn what bad gimmicks are all about.

The introductions took 5 minutes and the match lasts three minutes. The commentators mention that they’ve never seen a battle royal that ends so fast. Doink getting eliminated brings forth the loudest booing all night which doesn’t surprise me at all. The fans are totally into this which makes me smile.

Sheik wins if you’re interested. After that Slaughter comes back in and beats him up. Sheik won this because he wasn’t able to be thrown over the top rope due to age. Nothing in the match means anything which is why I’m not even going to list it off. Slaughter puts him in the Cobra Clutch post match because he’s an AMERICAN.

Rating: N/A as it’s not a serious match but I don’t ever remember having more fun with a single match. Even at 13 I knew this was cool and it still is to this day. The fans being 100% into it makes me very happy as it’s obvious they still like these guys. While a lot of matches like these bomb badly, the battle royal was a great idea as it kept things quick. Excellent match and all kinds of fun.

Now it’s time to get to the real meat of the show. Somehow, everything we’ve seen so far has been appetizer. That is unbelievable considering what we’ve seen so far. Seriously, TLC, Benoit/Angle or the street fight could be the second big match on any other card, but that’s not what we get as the second big match. We get this.

We recap HHH vs. The Undertaker. HHH beats Austin twice in a row and says there’s no one left for him to beat. We hear a gong, and I lost it. This was amazing and I knew it would be a classic. Taker gets in HHH’s face and says that HHH has never beaten him, but if HHH tries, Taker will make him famous. Over the next 5 weeks, we got the great build up.

HHH destroyed one of Taker’s bikes, had Taker sent to jail, etc. Taker gets ahold of HHH one night, so Stephanie issues a restraining order on Taker. However, there isn’t one against Kane. Kane chases Stephanie, allowing Taker to beat up HHH. Kane holds her over his head and threatens to throw her down from a balcony, unless Regal makes the one on one match at Mania. Taker obviously gets his wish, and here we are.

Undertaker vs. HHH

Back then, HHH was a bigger star than he is now. He beat Austin, the king of the world, twice in one night the previous month. Taker was about 8 months into his biker gimmick and was a step behind what he used to be at though. However, this was his hometown and it’s Wrestlemania, although this is before the Streak became important.

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and it is freaking awesome. They play the verse and chorus all the way through before we cut to a long shot of the arena and we see Triple H, Start Game flash on the screen, then a small object appears beneath it. Cut to a shot of HHH and then back to the arena. My goodness these stadiums are awesome. The live band is always cool as they play him through the long walk down the aisle.

HHH does a double water spit so you know this is an important show. The song ends and HHH paces back and forth. We hear gong strikes, and the lights go out. DEAD MAN WALKING. Instead of walking down the huge ramp, Taker drives his bike down instead in another famous shot. The cool thing here is it’s long enough that he can crank it up and gets the bike flying down the aisle. Taker jumps in the ring, rips the shirt off and we’re on.

Just as Taker is about to start the fight, JR mentions that he is 8-0, undefeated at Wrestlemania. Ladies and Gentlemen, the streak is born. That’s the first time that it’s mentioned on WWF television to my knowledge, but certainly the first time at Wrestlemania. The fight starts on the floor with Taker hammering away. Guess what Taker knocks HHH through. Go on, I want you to guess. It rhymes with French announce table. You guessed it. Twice in one night has to be a record.

They slug it out in the ring and the knee to the face gets HHH nowhere. BIG back drop puts HHH down. Powerslam gets two and a big clothesline takes down HHH. Old School is countered. Not sure how HHH knew it was coming. Might be that Taker shouted out OLD SCHOOL right before he went for it. Just a hunch mind you. The Game hammers away on Taker including a trio of elbows. That and a neckbreaker gets three straight two counts.

HHH goes after the ref and gets shoved back which gets a huge pop. My goodness this crowd is white hot. Six minutes in and HHH gets the sledgehammer. Referee takes it from him so HHH tries a Pedigree which is blocked into a catapult and the referee goes down. Chokeslam gets two because the referee was slow thanks to him getting bumped.

Taker, being the ticked off man that he is, beats the referee up because of this. The throw that Taker sends HHH to the floor with is either great selling or a real throw. We go into the crowd and actually wind up at the production tower which has been seen maybe twice in company history. This is what the cameras sit on in the arena and where the sound is adjusted etc. Quite simply if they screw up here, the PPV goes off the air.

HHH now has a problem. He’s trying to run from Taker, but the only way to run is to keep climbing the tower. HHH finds a chair up there though and lands about 10 sick chair shots to Taker. They’re in a tiny place so Taker is laid out and HHH just hits him wherever he can with the chair. Great visual on that. Taker gets up and catches HHH after the Game poses. The flashbulbs are going so crazy it’s hard to see them for a little bit.

He then chokeslams him off the tower. Now think about why this is cool. No one has ever seen them fight here before so it’s unknown. There’s no referee as Taker beat him up. Most importantly, we don’t see HHH land. What did he land on? That’s what makes this cool: the total mystery of it. Sadly, we see he landed on a big pad, but it still must have knocked him out a bit. If not, the elbow Taker drops on him does. What’s a good American to do now? He beats up the EMTs of course.

They fight back to the ring and the referee is still down. What the heck? He got kicked and elbowed, not shot in the forehead. Taker gets the hammer and a low blow to make him drop it a few seconds later. Heyman talking about how dangerous weapons are is either a rib by him or the best unintentional comedy I’ve heard in a long time. HHH gets a tombstone countered because he’s not the Undertaker, and Taker breaks out the Tombstone for maybe the first or second time in a year plus.

The crowd loves it, but still there’s no referee. In a sweet finish, Taker goes for the Last Ride but HHH picks up the hammer and nails him in the head with it. That somehow only gets two. Taker is bleeding and HHH sends him to the corner to rain down right hands. He pauses for a split second to yell at the crowd, and Taker reaches up and grabs him before stepping forward, lifting him into the air and drilling him with the Last Ride! He gets the pin as the crowd explodes.

Rating: A+. This is an outstanding match and would have main evented any other show of the year. The story was great, the fighting was off the charts, and you never knew who was going to win until the very end. Excellent job from both guys involved and probably the true forgotten classic in Wrestlemania history.

Rock has a song coming out called Pie. The CD has Rock’s custom internet browser.

A kid that talks way too fast made some poster or visual thing and won a contest. Ok then.
Good grief what in the world could follow that? Somehow, that’s nowhere near the main event, as no one came to see anything but the real main event: the two biggest stars on the freaking planet, one on one for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship.

I can’t say anything that’s going to build this match up better than the actual video, so here it is.

[youtube]DxttU7_2-WA[/youtube]

If that doesn’t embed for you, go Youtube it. It’s incredible.

I’m not a big fan of Limp Biskit, but that was awesome. By far the best recap video I’ve ever seen and one of the only times the theme song could not have been any better for an event. Great job.

WWF World Heavyweight Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is made No DQ just before the match starts which is a surprise to everyone and it comes back to play a factor later. JR’s saying WHAT as soon as that’s announced made me laugh quite loudly. The glass shatters and the ovation is deafening. Austin is so over it’s amazing. He hits the first corner and the pop grows somehow. He turns around to cross the ring and it’s as if everything goes into slow motion. Austin climbs to the middle rope, throws two fingers into the air, and the flashbulbs go insane. It’s that moment that defines this whole show I think.

All of the other great matches all night long, from the wrestling classic to the ladders to the war we just saw, none of that means a thing anymore and every single eye in the building is on this man right here. It’s the peak of Steve Austin’s popularity and it’s amazing to say the very least. JR’s commentary is absolutely perfect here. It’s that perfect voice that we all know, but the words simply couldn’t be better. He builds this match up to be as epic as it should be. The music ends, and we hear the sound of his opponent.

Rock comes out to an INCREDIBLY mixed reaction. He’s either being cheered all the way to heaven or being booed out of the building. Not sure which. He hits the corner, throws the belt over his shoulder with his arm raised in the air, and we get the staredown from one side of the ring to the other. The feeling is all there too. You can tell what you’re watching is absolutely epic and it feel just right.

The fight starts almost immediately with Austin jumping Rock as he gets off the ropes. Thesz Press takes down Rock seconds into it but Rock fights back with a swinging neckbreaker. Rock Bottom and Stunner both don’t connect and we hit the floor. Out into the crowd they go with neither guy keeping an advantage at all. Back to the ring now with Austin having a brief advantage.

Superplex gets two and Austin takes the turnbuckle pad off. Rock fights back to massive booing and a clothesline for two. Back out to the floor again and Austin gets a shot with the bell to take Rock down. Rock is sent onto the table which breaks on a delay so the camera misses it. This is so epic. These two are the biggest stars in the world and this is the biggest match of the year. What more can you ask for?

Austin hits a neckbreaker for two. Mudhole stomping commences but Rock comes flying out with a clothesline to huge boos. More slugging it out with Rock in control now. Rock grabs the bell and gets a shot to the head with it for two. Austin is busted open and Rock hammers away. Oh man he’s bleeding BAD. Back to the floor again and they fight it out even more.

Another important thing to note is Ross. Ross has been mostly reserved all night but now he’s pouring it on. This makes this look FAR more interesting and intense while at the same time not diminishing the other stuff. Austin gets a slingshot to send Rock into the post. Monitor to the head and Rock is down on the floor. THAT gets two.

Austin flips Rock off and gets caught in the Sharpshooter for his efforts. Rock is busted now too. Great throwback here to Mania 13 as Austin screams in the hold. Rock pulls him back to the middle and Austin is in big trouble. Finally there’s the rope. Now Austin throws it on Rock and the people are loving it. After it gets broken it goes on again and this time it’s a rope used to escape. HUGE booing when he gets there too.

The Million Freaking Dollar Dream goes on and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock pushes off the corner ala Bret vs. Austin at Survivor Series 96 but this time Austin kicks out. Little things like those make matches AWESOME. Rock gets a Stunner out of nowhere for two.

And now we set up the ending as Vince McMahon is here. Both guys get spinebusters but Rock’s sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince slides in and breaks that up though, shocking everyone. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two. Crowd is losing it on these kickouts. Stunner is blocked and there goes the referee again.

A low blow puts Rock down and Austin asks Vince for a chair. Vince cracks Rock with it as the crowd isn’t sure what to do. Vince puts the referee back in but THAT gets two. A Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Vince has the referee. Rock pulls Vince in but walks into another Stunner for ANOTHER two. Austin is all ticked off now and Vince hands him a chair, drilling Rock with it for two. Austin absolutely explodes, drilling Rock with the chair an insane 19 times and getting the academic pin for the title. Rock is DEAD.

Rating: A+. The repeated finishers and chair shots hurt this quite a bit, but the crowd, the commentary and the overall feeling push this to the sky easily. Epic feeling the whole match and the crowd was in the palm of their hands. Not great wrestling, but the crowd carries this to greatness.

Austin and Vince shake hands, ending the Attitude Era and also ending the superpower that WWE was and marking the beginning of the decline of the company. They share a beer and another Stunner to Rock ends this very long but incredible show.

Overall Rating: A+. This is the greatest PPV of all time, bar none. The worst match is passable at worst. The crowd never once dies, even popping a bit in the European Title match. Looking back, you have the following matches that would either steal the show or main event any other show: Angle/Benoit, TLC 2, Street Fight, HHH/Taker.

Those are all top shelf matches anywhere you look at them, and then with the crowd as hot as they were for the main event and how it’s solid in its own right, this show is amazing all around. All night long the stuff was fast paced, everyone was having fun, and the matches are all intriguing. Can’t recommend this one enough.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Checked Out The Chris Benoit Episode Of Autopsy

It aired on the Reelz channel on Sunday and we may have a new winner for worst documentary(ish) look at wrestling I’ve seen in a good while.

The idea of the show is kind of a medical investigation deal with a doctor looking over an autopsy report and trying to figure out what happened. In other words, a guy who has nothing to do with wrestling looking at it from an outside perspective with some wrestling people included. That’s where things fall apart.

There were three main wrestling people involved with the show: Les Thatcher (fine), Greg Oliver (wrestling writer who named Bret Hart as the fourteenth best Canadian wrestler of all time) and a guy who wrote a book on Benoit that Lance Storm trashed in an amazing way. That’s it. No other wrestlers, no more wrestling journalists, nothing else.

There were the usual wrestling errors, including the following:

  • Referring to Nancy Benoit a “wrestling Diva”

  • Saying Benoit fought through injuries to get to the end of the season

  • Talking about Benoit getting hurt and coming back from injury to win the World Title “not long after his return to the ring”. It was almost two years later.

  • They talked about Benoit getting hurt at King of the Ring, while showing footage of a Raw match. They showed various other pay per views, so why not show the right clip there?

You learn to live with those things, but the problem is the show wasn’t all that good. They talked about Benoit having issues with alcohol, steroids and head injuries and called it a big mixture of factors that caused the incident. What gets annoying is the host saying he discovered things like Benoit having certain drugs in them. By discovered, he means read in the report, which makes me wonder why he needs to be on the show.

Finally though, his big conclusion is that Nancy was the victim of domestic violence. I’m not sure why that’s a conclusion, but that’s what he says as one of his big points. The other thing is that he implies that Benoit snapped because he lost the World Title. While he never flat out says that, he says that Benoit was losing everything he had worked for while showing a picture of Benoit with the title.

Maybe he didn’t mean it this way, but he sounded like he meant Benoit went over the edge because he lost the title. Benoit was probably close to retirement around this time, but that was never mentioned anywhere on here, making it seem like Benoit’s title loss was considered a factor. Sometimes I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt, but not on a show that says a wrestler made it to the end of a season.

All in all, this feels like a very formula based show that was made in about a day. Just wait for Dark Side of the Ring next week and see something with a good bit more effort put into it by more people who know what they’re talking about.




Major League Wrestling Fusion – March 14, 2020: Tick Tock

IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #101
Date: March 14, 2020
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: AJ Kirsch, Rich Bocchini

Things have suddenly changed around here as the wrestling world has all but shut down outside of WWE and AEW. That doesn’t leave much for MLW, but if my math is right, they should have about two weeks left after this. Once those shows are done, we could be in for some lighter shows, if there are any shows at all. We have one here though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s World Title match with Jacob Fatu retaining and Cima being taken away in a body bag.

Opening sequence.

No one has seen Cima since last week and his whereabouts are unknown.

Killer Kross is facing Tom Lawlor tonight, though commentary does acknowledge that Kross has signed with WWE.

Earlier today, Injustice interrupted a Konnan interview to talk trash about Laredo Kid. Konnan called Reed talented but said he’s always taking shortcuts to win.

Middleweight Title: Myron Reed vs. Laredo Kid

Reed is defending and has the rest of Injustice with him while Kid has Konnan. Feeling out process to start until neither can get two off quick covers. That means a standoff as Jordan Oliver is still talking trash. Kid snaps off a hurricanrana and takes him to the floor, only to chop the chest protector. That doesn’t work, but a double chop staggers Reed, followed by a slap to the face to really knock him around. Reed is right back up with a reverse fireman’s carry slam into a low superkick for two.

A slingshot legdrop gets two but Kid snaps off a Michinoku Driver. The moonsault gives Kid two but Reed snaps off a springboard cutter (that looked good). Reed gets caught on top for a dragon superplex, with Kid flipping over as well to land on Reed’s back for the nearer fall. A belly to back faceplant drops Reed again but Kotto Brazil has to be suplexed for interfering. Oliver gets superkicked off the apron and it’s a suicide dive to drop Brazil again. The distraction lets Reed hit a slingshot cutter to the floor though, setting up the springboard 450 to retain at 8:45.

Rating: C+. I liked this as Kid was trying to overcome the odds but just couldn’t get there. They’ve done a good job of making Injustice into an annoying stable that you want to see get what’s coming to them, but at the same time, Reed has turned into a heck of a performer. He can hit those cutters from anywhere and he had a solid performance here against a talented challenger.

The Dynasty is working on getting an injunction against Mance Warner because they have more important things right now. What matters though is marketing, so it’s time to rebrand Gino Medina as Gino The Untouchable. Tonight, Gino is going to send Mance back to the swamp to beat up more alligators. The team being out of touch on who they’re fighting is amusing, even without MJF.

Pagano is coming.

Mance Warner vs. Gino Medina

Richard Holliday is here with Warner as this is fallout from the Dynasty attacking Mance’s uncle. Gino jumps him to start and stomps away in the corner but Warner chops his way to freedom in a hurry. They head outside for more chopping with Warner getting the better of it and sending him into the barricade.

Back in and Gino gets in some choking in the corner to set up the chinlock, which works as well as your average chinlock. A running knee in the corner into a low superkick drops Warner again. Warner pops back up and hits a running knee to the head for two so Gino grabs a rollup with jeans for two. You don’t do that to Warner though, who rolls Gino up with tights for the win at 4:58.

Rating: C. This was a quick one to give Warner some revenge on the Dynasty, but I’m not sure how much there is to Medina. I keep saying it isn’t clicking yet but that has been the same feeling I have every single time he is out there. It’s not that he’s terrible or anything, but he’s just kind of there and not living up to all of the hype that they give him.

Post match Warner is very pleased and it’s time to drink. Gino slaps the referee and Holliday approves.

Colonel Robert Parker is coming back. Good as I liked him well enough in his first run.

The Von Erichs went to their father’s house in Hawaii to ask for some advice about Team Filthy. They want a fight in Texas, with Ross saying they have to stand up to these people. As long as it’s on friendly ground right?

The Top Ten is back:

10. King Mo

9. Low Ki

8. Mance Warner

7. Maxwell Jacob Friedman

6. Richard Holliday

5. Brian Pillman Jr.

4. Tom Lawlor

3. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

2. Myron Reed

1. Alexander Hammerstone

We get a special award presentation as Brian Pillman Jr. has won Pro Wrestling Illustrated Rookie of the Year….for the second year in a row! Pillman is proud to join the list of wrestlers to win the award and now he’s hungry for a shot at the Middleweight Title. And a third straight rookie of the year! And some cheesesteaks!

Myron Reed wants to know why he didn’t win the award because he can wrestle circles around Brian Pillman Jr. As for Konnan, he can keep sending his men at him and he’ll keep knocking them down.

Erick Stevens says it didn’t go well last week and he wants revenge. Tom Lawlor doesn’t think much of Killer Kross (“If that is your real name.”) and is ready to show him what a real fighter is.

The Dynasty is upset about the Warner loss but the lawyer/father is going to get involved.

We look at Cima being taken out in a body bag again last week.

The body bag is loaded into a van and Josef Samael says take it to Ikuro Kwon at the Gashel (I think?) house.

Killer Kross vs. Tom Lawlor

Lawlor has Team Filthy with him. The fans seem into Kross and he can do that evil smile rather well. Kross kicks him in the chest to start and pounds away in the corner as the dominance begins early. They head outside with Kross hammering away even more, including a belly to back drop onto the apron. Back in and Lawlor hits a spinwheel kick to rock Kross for the first time Lawlor starts working on the arm. That includes a Pentagon Jr. arm snap, meaning Lawlor can throw in some shadow boxing.

Kross’ comeback is cut off with a kick to the back and the arm gets crunched again. A guillotine goes on but Kross suplexes his way out without much effort. Kross gets in a t-bone suplex but Lawlor is back with a bunch of strikes of his own. A high angle suplex doesn’t do much to Kross and knees to the head just make him smile. The Krossjacket Choke goes on with Lawlor flailing out to the floor into a double heap. Team Filthy jumps Kross for the DQ at 10:27.

Rating: C-. Kross is someone who has everything he needs, at least until the bell rings. I’m not sure what it is but there’s something I don’t care for about his matches. He’s better off as a bodyguard/muscle of someone who wrestles the occasional match. His facial expressions are outstanding and he looks great, but a full match isn’t his strong suit.

Post match the beatdown is on but Davey Boy Smith Jr. and the Von Erichs run in for the save. Smith challenges them to an eight man tag next week and Lawlor accepts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This company can have some weird shows at times and this was one of them. They have so many things going on at once and they don’t do the best job in the world of focusing on things. It’s like there isn’t a top story and while that can be one thing, it can make for some weak shows at times. The wrestling was fine enough, but it’s a show that moved stories forward rather than doing anything on its own, making this a mostly skippable week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (2015 Redo): They Did It Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the four way title match, there are two other multi-man matches of note. First, Kurt Angle will be defending his Intercontinental and European Titles in back to back triple threat matches (considered one match with two falls) against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Other than that, the tag division is getting a big boost with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz (also recent arrivals) and Edge and Christian in the first ever triangle ladder match for the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania for a few moments before jumping into the four way main event. They make sure to mention the McMahon in every corner and how it’s all about the four of them. This was a major problem with the match which we’ll get to later but it’s certainly true.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Godfather is now a full on pimp and Brown is his partner in good guy crime. Buchanan is an athletic big man and Boss Man’s protege who never went beyond the low midcard. Ice T raps Brown and Godfather to the ring with a song called Pimp or Die. Of note: one of the Godfather’s women clearly falls down as she reaches ringside with the camera catching her going down. Godfather gives his usual speech about pimping nationwide and tells us to light up our blunts and say pimpin ain’t easy. This was quite the different time as you might be able to tell.

Brown and Buchanan get things going with D’Lo kicking him in the face and Godfather clotheslining an invading Boss Man. Godfather, in his shiny silver top, comes in for the spinning legdrop. A hook kick puts Boss Man down for two before it’s back to Buchanan and Brown with Bull doing his awesome run up the corner into a spinning top rope clothesline. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of his good moves so it’s back to Boss Man for two off an uppercut.

Lawler continues to oogle the lady in red as Brown keeps taking his beating. A cross body goes badly for D’Lo and JR compares it to a fair catch in the XFL. JR: “Which won’t exist.” Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Buchanan and Brown brings him down with a top rope hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Godfather for some house cleaning and everything breaks down, allowing Boss Man to hit his namesake slam, followed by a guillotine legdrop (and a good one) from Buchanan for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D. Buchanan’s stuff looked good but who thought it was a good idea to have the heels, especially these heels, win the opening match? The length didn’t help this either. Godfather was starting to outlive his usefulness as an opening act at this point, partially due to the Parents Television Council complaining about the adult nature of the character. This would lead to a major change of pace for Godfather, which we’ll get to later on.

HHH and Women’s Champion Stephanie are loving life in the back.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash (Hardcore’s cousin) is defending coming in, meaning he has to be pinned or made to submit for the title to change hands in the first place. Tazz is still the Human Suplex Machine here a fierce guy despite his smaller stature. Funaki is Taka’s partner in Kai En Tai. It’s a big brawl to start with only Tazz and Crash staying in the ring. A suplex makes Tazz champion in 24 seconds, and yes these title reigns are all official. Viscera rams Tazz into the post and slams him down for the pin at 1:00.

The Mean Street Posse gets together for some weapon shots to Viscera to almost no avail. Crash is already busted open. The Acolytes beat Viscera up instead and everyone else beats on each other. Funaki hits Mosh with a box fan and Bradshaw cleans house with a cookie sheet. Some people finally start going after Viscera but he easily kicks out. We’re under ten minutes now and Pete Gas is bleeding too.

Viscera holds court in the ring with the cookie sheets but goes up top for no logical reason. The Acolytes destroy Kai En Tai with Taka taking a wicked powerbomb before going over to slam Viscera down. Some 2×4 shots to the back and a top rope shoulder from Bradshaw allows them to throw Kai En Tai on top, giving Funaki the pin at 7:51. Taka immediately goes after his partner but Funaki is suddenly the smartest man in the match as he runs away. The Posse catches up to him though and Rodney throws him against a wall for the pin and the title at 8:11 in his only televised pinfall.

Joey runs in with a gutwrench suplex for the pin and the title at 8:24. Thrasher clotheslines Joey for the title at 8:46. Thrasher tries to run away but gets attacked by a bunch of people with a weapon each. Somehow he survives though, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Pete Gas for the pin and the title at 9:29. That would be Pete’s second and final pin on TV.

With just under five minutes left, Tazz grabs a suplex for the pin at 10:17. Hardcore immediately sends him into the steps for two but Mosh decks Hardcore from behind. Probably out of instinct, Tazz covers Mosh for two. Tazz fights both Holly cousins inside as Bradshaw beats up the Posse out of pure principle. We have two minutes left and the cousins start trying to pin Tazz and Hardcore’s dropkick gets two. Crash hits Tazz in the head with a cookie sheet for the pin and the title at 14:20 but Tazz is right up with the Tazmission (his signature choke).

Hardcore comes back in with a candy jar to bust over Tazz’s head (and getting a piece of glass in his eye, though Tazz was fine.) and covers Crash but the ending is screwed up. Hardcore was supposed to have him beaten as the time expired but he came in early, meaning the referee has to stop the count for no good reason. Not that it matters as Hardcore is declared the new champion at 15:00 to end the match.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

Al Snow is in a bathroom and talking to someone we can’t see. His partner Steve Blackman comes in to say play it serious tonight. They comprise the team of Head Cheese because Snow has Head and…..well what else would you call them?

Head Cheese vs. T&A

T&A are Test and Albert (a big bald power guy) with the recently debuted Trish Stratus (when she was in even better shape than when she was in her peak years) as their manager. Snow brings out the man from the bathroom: the team’s new mascot Chester McCheeserton, a guy in a cheese costume. The audio starts crackling and JR’s microphone goes out for a bit (Lawler is very happy) as Blackman kicks Test in the face to start.

Snow comes in and gets double teamed until it’s off to Blackman to trade shoulders with Albert. Everything breaks down for a bit as the fans are just quiet here. You can see a lot of empty seats where people are getting popcorn during this match and I can’t blame them. Albert gets in trouble as the cheese goes after Trish who rightfully ignores him. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Lawler calls the cheese Chester the Molester. A butterfly suplex finally gets Albert out of trouble and it’s off to Test for two off a side slam.

Albert comes back in for a big double powerbomb on Al as JR is using his code (“These styles are clashing” and “It’s bowling shoe ugly”) to say this match is horrible. Snow drops a middle rope leg on Test but Albert saves to keep this mess going. The Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) puts Snow on the floor and Albert gorilla presses Blackman, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: F. This match is in the running for the worst match in Wrestlemania history. The joke before the match was terrible, the match was AWFUL, the story was non-existent and the silence from the fans who stayed in the arena was eerie. Other than Trish, I saw nothing good about this and no redeeming value. It’s a total failure all around.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester in a really mean and out of character attack. The team didn’t go anywhere or last long in case you weren’t sure.

We get the comedy spot of the show with female wrestler the Kat sans clothing in her dressing room but her veteran manager Mae Young keeps putting various things in front of various parts of Kat. I’m sure you get the joke.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

These three teams have been feuding with each other for months. Edge and Christian and the Hardyz had a great ladder match last year so why not add the Dudleyz (defending here) and make it a three way ladder match? Officially this is a triangle ladder match but it’s really just Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) before the TLC match was named.

Everyone brawls to start and it’s going to be almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. Jeff takes Bubba out with the Whisper in the Wind but gets caught in the Bubba Bomb. Christian brings in the first ladder but Matt makes the save. All six get inside and a second ladder is loaded up.

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now it’s D-Von going up so Christian just throws a ladder at him for the save. A HUGE Bubba Cutter brings Christian down and now the fans are understanding what they’re in for with this one. The Hardys’ legdrop/splash combo from the ladders brings the people to their feet again as the match starts to slow down a bit due to all of the crashing.

A double superplex off the ladder brings D-Von down, leaving Edge and Christian and the Hardys to climb two ladders, only to knock each other off for some huge crashes. There’s not much else you can do here aside from just listing spots as it’s one big move after another. Now all six go up on three ladders with Jeff and Christian falling all the way down to the floor (with NOTHING to catch them). Bubba goes down as well and ever the spoiled sport, he shoves the other two ladders and all three other guys down against the ropes.

The Dudleyz are left alone so they pick up the ladders and crush Christian, who somehow can still walk. 3D takes Edge down (thankfully not onto a ladder) and now it’s table time. Why the Dudleyz need those isn’t clear but why let common sense get in the way of your gimmick. To crank things up though, the Dudleyz put a table on top of two ladders like a scaffold. Another pair of tables is set under the scaffold but D-Von’s headbutt misses Jeff and only hits table.

Bubba keeps his team’s fortunes up by powerbombing Matt off the announcers’ table and through another ladder at ringside. Jeff gets up and tries to run across the barricade as is his custom but Bubba pelts a ladder at him. There’s something to cringe worthy about someone flying through the air and crashing into a big piece of metal.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

Rating: A-. This was a different kind of match than these three teams would have later on as they were just going from spot to spot here without the flow that they would have. However, this is still an amazing spectacle that got the fans into things once they gave it a chance to get going. This was ALL about going higher and higher with each step, but they didn’t know how high they could go yet. Later the matches would be about seeing how high they could take it and the results would be pure carnage. Here it’s more about fitting stuff in but it’s still an awesome match.

Mick Foley (not Mankind or Cactus Jack) is with Linda and says that this is the biggest match on the biggest show of the year so it’s the biggest match of his life. Fairy tales can come true and it could happen to HHH, Rock and Big Show, BUT IT WON’T because it’s happening to him.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

This is billed as a catfight and is more about the managers (Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young respectfully) than the wrestlers. Val Venis is the referee (sporting a referee towel instead of shirt) and you win by throwing your opponent to the floor, making it a two man battle royal. They’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is just a cool down match after the previous war. These two don’t really have a reason for fighting other than being catty with each other.

Before the match, Venis does one of his signature innuendo laden promo, talking about how he and Wrestlemania are both extravaganzas that get your blood pumping, but Wrestlemania only comes once a year. Both women are in see thru bodysuits with bikinis underneath. Kat’s is made of fishnet, thereby making her Lawler’s favorite.

They brawl to start until Val breaks it up, only to have both of them kiss him. Kat spears her down but Mae gets on the apron to try to flash Val. Terri is thrown to the floor but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s time for Mae to kiss Val as well. Both girls actually in the match fall outside but Moolah throws Terri back inside for the win at 2:26. Total mess of course, but at least they didn’t try to hide what they were doing here.

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

It’s Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn here. Eddie has been hitting on Chyna lately so she got some help and it’s time for a tag match. Too Cool has gone from jokes to a nice surprise as a midcard act due to getting over and the company giving them a chance. That is almost blasphemy today. Chyna has her fireworks bazooka which was actually pretty cool.

Eddie and Scotty get things going as the fans are all over Guerrero, likely due to him knocking off Scotty’s hat. It’s quickly off to Chyna, sending Eddie crawling over on his knees to grab Malenko’s legs. JR says Chyna looks hot, which is very outside of his standard character. A double suplex puts Dean down and it’s time for Chyna to dance. Now it’s Grandmaster suplexing Eddie down but Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop).

Saturn goes even more evil by stealing Grandmaster’s bandana, which just makes Grandmaster look stupid. Scotty comes in and is quickly hot shotted to keep the Radicalz in control. The fans only care about Eddie and Chyna here and Guerrero soaks it all up like the master he was. Grandmaster’s interference only works for a bit and Scotty busts out a double Worm, followed by Saturn kicking him in the face.

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Shane and Big Show say they’ll win and that it’s Game Over.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is a two fall match with Angle defending the Intercontinental Title first and the European Title second. The three of them have been feuding for months with Angle taking the Intercontinental Title from Jericho last month at No Way Out 2000. Before the match, Jericho says he can’t guarantee that he’ll walk out a champion but he can guarantee that Benoit and Angle will have bumps and bruises from a Y2J beating that they will never EVER forget again. So they’ll forget it at least once?

Angle gets chopped down to start as Lawler calls Backlund an idiot for setting this up. Jericho’s springboard dropkick is broken up by Benoit so Jericho dropkicks them both outside at the same time. Angle gets in his first offense with a flapjack to send Jericho into the steps. Back in and Benoit trades suplexes with Angle as Lawler channels Bobby Heenan by praising Angle for everything.

Jericho goes up again and Benoit shoves him down again, making me think that Jericho needs to adjust his strategy. He tries ANOTHER dropkick from the ropes, this time getting two on Angle as Benoit makes the save. A camel clutch on Benoit doesn’t get Jericho anywhere so he goes back to Angle, only to get caught in the crossface chickenwing. Jericho starts to fade but Benoit comes back in and throws Angle to the floor. A quick Swan Dive is good for the pin on Jericho, giving Benoit the Intercontinental Title at 7:56.

Angle is all ticked off and starts erupting with suplexes to Benoit, only to have Jericho break up the moonsault. Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho down and rolls away from a great looking moonsault to leave all three guys down. Back up and it’s Jericho taking over with a forearm and spinwheel kick, followed by the double powerbomb (one powerbomb after another without breaking his grip) to Angle.

Benoit is right back in with the rolling Germans for two on Jericho. Angle takes a German of his own and the referee counts even though Kurt’s shoulder is WAY off the mat. What a patriot. Benoit makes Jericho tap to the Crossface but the ref got bumped. Serves him right for trying to cheat an American hero. Just like everyone else, Benoit lets go of the hold instead of doing as much damage to Jericho as possible. Angle avoids another Swan Dive but Jericho is right back up with a Lionsault for the pin on Benoit and the European Title at 13:48 total.

Rating: B. This is quite the concept and there’s no way any combination of these three can go wrong. It’s also a very efficient way to get both titles off Angle without having him, the hottest prospect of them all, get pinned or have to tap out. Also well done on not having the standard triple threat formula and just letting everyone fight at the same time with the guys being down for logical reasons instead of the script calling for it. Good match, good idea, very good execution. What more can you ask for?

Vince says that Rock is very confident that Rock will win tonight. Rock however isn’t there with him. Vince guarantees to make it right tonight. You can see the swerve coming from here.

HHH promises Stephanie that he won’t allow himself to be beaten tonight.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Tori has to be saved from the same fate and DX’s attempt to leave fails. We settle down and X-Pac gets in a Bronco Buster on Rikishi before it’s off to Road Dogg for the dancing punches. Rikishi shrugs them off and brings in Kane for the big monster offense, but Kane goes after Tori instead. The Stink Face works this time and Kane Tombstones X-Pac for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. The match was bad but there’s another reason this is happening which we’ll get to in a few seconds. Rikishi was helping fight DX so he fit in here, but this was little more than filler. Kane’s attire and Tori as a good blonde there to look good and make you hate X-Pac even more worked fine.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to dance. Kane doesn’t buy it but the Chicken dances a lot better than you would expect from Rose. After they’re done, Kane goes after the Chicken but Pete Rose runs in with the ball bat, only to get chokeslammed, followed by a Stink Face to end this saga once and for all. Well until Rose showed up on Raw about ten years later. Rose certainly did whatever he needed to do and turned this one idea into an awesome three year running joke.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Elimination rules and No DQ. HHH is defending and we’ve got a rare occurrence of all four McMahons in one place. Rock and Vince come out together here for their first appearance together tonight. Show and Rock pair off while Foley pounds the champ down in the corner with some fast punches. With Rock down in the corner, Show runs the other two over with a double clothesline. Show can’t pick which guy to beat up so Foley jumps on his back, giving us a repeat of last year’s spot with Show falling backwards to crush Foley’s ribs.

Mick is right back up to break up a chokeslam to HHH (why would he do that?) and it’s a triple team on Big Show. Three straight clotheslines put the giant down but HHH just can’t work with Foley that long and a fight breaks out again. Show kicks Rock in the face but Foley hits Show in the back with a chair, knocking him into the Rock Bottom for the pin to get rid of the giant at 4:50. What a worthless addition Show was.

The three remaining guys all stare at each other and it’s HHH trying to strike a deal with both of them. Rock actually goes for it before nailing HHH from behind and the double teaming is on. They all head outside where Rock accidentally hits Foley with the bell, making Lawler even happier than in the women’s match earlier. Rock isn’t as strong as you would think though as Foley is up just a few seconds later….and he has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH low blows him to take it away though and hits Foley in the ribs but AGAIN Foley doesn’t seem in that much trouble.

This time it’s the Mandible Claw on HHH, who turns into a belt shot from Rock. The People’s Elbow is broken up by a Mandible Claw to Rock but the champ low blows them both to put all three down. Foley’s double arm DDT gets two on Rock and Rock’s single arm version gets the same with HHH making the save for some reason. Mick and HHH actually work together on Rock with Foley’s knee lift getting two (No save from HHH, making Rock look more like a threat than Foley, who HHH believes he can beat. That’s a nice touch.).

The double teaming continues on the floor but Rock whips Mick knees first into the steps. Foley pops up for the third time though and nails Rock with the steps. HHH loads up the Spanish announcers’ table and has Foley go to the middle rope for the elbow….which is left about three feet short, sending him ribs first into the table in a very sad sight. HHH has to drop about three elbows to put Rock through the table before taking Foley inside for the Pedigree……for two? JR: “HE DID IT!” A BIG chair to the head sets up the second Pedigree (with Foley collapsing) for the pin at 19:40, sending Foley into retirement for four years.

Foley takes one last bow but comes back to the ring for one good barbed wire 2×4 shot to HHH’s head (busting him open) to go out on. Somehow that’s only good for two for Rock so let’s go outside again. Rock beats him up in front of the Titantron and takes it back to ringside. HHH swings a chair to knock the steps into Rock’s face, followed by a piledriver onto the steps. This is the main event of Wrestlemania though so it’s finishers or rollups only, meaning Rock kicks out at two again.

The Pedigree is broken up and they go into the crowd for more time killing brawling. Back to ringside again with Rock suplexing the champ through the announcers’ table and it’s time for more waiting. HHH is up first but Vince sends him into the post, only to have Shane (why is he still here?) hit his dad from behind. Well you knew this was coming. A big monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly but he’s up after a ridiculous TWENTY THREE SECONDS. Vince just got hit in the head with a monitor and he’s up and going after Shane in less than thirty seconds. Who is this match supposed to showcase again?

Shane opts for a chair shot to the head and this time Vince stays down, even shedding some blood. We FINALLY go back to the match with Rock DDTing HHH, drawing Stephanie’s ridiculous looking bug eyes. The barbed wire board to Rock’s head stuns him but he’s still able to catapult HHH into Shane. HHH walks into the Rock Bottom but here’s Vince to punch Shane….and then hit Rock with a chair because SWERVE! Rock kicks out at two so Vince hits him in the head with the chair again, giving HHH the pin to retain at 36:31. That’s the first time a heel has left Wrestlemania as champion.

Rating: C+. Oh man this is a rough one. Above all else, the McMahons. They started off as background noise but by the end they were the only things that mattered here as it turned into yet another Vince/Shane/Stephanie drama, which had been the big story for the last year in one form or another. They pretty much gave away the Vince turn earlier and that doesn’t help an already bad idea.

That leaves us with the match itself, which really isn’t very good. The problem here is that they clearly spend so much time laying around and filling in time because the match goes longer than it should. Now that being said, it’s still Rock vs. HHH for eighteen minutes after Rock vs. HHH vs. Foley for about fifteen minutes so the action is at least watchable. The problem is there’s not enough action or excitement.

There were barely any near falls or moments of drama once it got down to one on one. You have the cover after Foley left (not happening), the piledriver on the steps (maybe) and the first chair shot from Vince (good near fall). You really need more than that in a long match, especially with all this other drama that really adds nothing on the outside. What you have instead is a lot of brawling, a lot of selling (fine, but not when it’s selling on the floor with no drama) and a lot of being on the floor or in the crowd. The action was good but it was bogged down by too much other stuff.

So how do you fix it? You have Rock vs. HHH instead of the four way. I understand the idea here but it’s not the kind of match to end Wrestlemania. If you want to do the four way, do it at Backlash where the pressure is gone and go with the big title win here. Foley not being around would have been a loss, but the match would have been better overall, unless you don’t have Rock in the main event here, which would mean changing the booking months before Wrestlemania. The four way was unique but it really didn’t work in this spot, at least not like it needed to do.

Vince and Stephanie reunite but Vince yells at Shane. Rock comes back in to lay out all three of them with Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to Stephanie (to be fair, she slapped him after he beat up Vince and Shane). Rock poses a lot to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the biggest show of the year in the best year they ever had and I think they just collapsed under the weight. You had two really good matches to carry the show but the main event is more like a disappointing experiment. The rest ranges from bad to wasting time with some bizarre choices like the Head Cheese mess.

The strangest part here is what this led to, as Backlash later in the month would be the show of the year with all the fallout from Wrestlemania, including Rock beating HHH to win the World Title. There are FAR worse Wrestlemanias but this was really more like a commercial for the next few months. Check out the triple threat and the ladder match but just get to the next year’s show otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (2013 Redo): TLC Beta

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.

We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.

We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.

We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.

We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.

Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.

Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.

We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.

Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.

Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.

Trish is ready in the back.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being sans clothing and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a certain part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.

Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.

HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.

We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.

Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.

The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVI (Original): Even The Best Year Isn’t Perfect

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 2000
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Star Spangled Banner: Lillian Garcia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This whole show is an interesting one, and this is primarily for two reasons. Number one: there is not a standard one on one match on the whole card. That’s just odd for any show. The other thing: Steve Austin and Undertaker were out with injuries here. This show is also important though because it’s the first show where all your big names are just that: big names.

HHH is the reigning WWF Champion, Rock is the #1 face in the company, Big Show is there for some reason, and Foley is “retired”, but getting one more shot as he finally gets to main event a Wrestlemania, which is a nice thing to let him do, despite the fact that he really had no business there at all. He was added less than two weeks before the show after the original main event, a three way match with HHH, Rock and Big Show happened on Raw for no apparent reasons at the time.

Also at this show, we have the WM debuts of Benoit, Angle, the Hardyz and the Dudleyz, as well as Edge and Christian being actual wrestlers here for the first time. This is the first show with the new generation being around, and it showed really well. It’s also the first show where the company more or less knew that WCW and any real threat to WWF’s survival was dead, so they didn’t have to nail it to ensure where their next paycheck was coming from. However, the important question is obvious: is the show with all these new stars better than last year’s? Let’s get to it.

Sweet goodness Lillian looks different here. She aged very well and actually looks better older than she does here. She can still sing though.
After a video highlighting the previous Manias either narrated by James Earl Jones (Darth Vader in an explanation I can’t believe I had to make) or the greatest imitation of his voice ever recorded, for the first time in Mania history, we get the MASSIVE pyro display that has become a standard in WWF. So with all this new talent, what’s our first great match?

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Eh? We’re opening the show that’s supposed to lead the WWF and therefore the wrestling business into the new millennium and this is what you give us? And people wonder why wrestling went downhill in a hurry once WCW died. Godfather and Brown are rapped to the ring by Ice T, who I try to block out as most of the time these live intros are awful. Brown is a co-pimp here.

Remember the catchy Godfather entrance? This isn’t close to it. Ice T does some song that includes the lyric Pimp Or Die. Something sound bad about that? This intro goes on WAY too long and sums up what I hate about rap: this whole thing is just loud and stupid sounding. It was built to market a CD called Aggression which was a rap album of WWF entrance themes. In case you can’t guess, it bombed.

After that completely pointless intro, Godfather decides he has to do his awful intro, saying for everyone to smoke a blunt and say it ain’t easy. FINALLY Bossman’s terribly bland theme music plays and the pain in my head goes away a little bit. Godfather has really stupid looking dreadlocks here and is somehow dumber looking than usual.

There’s really no reason as to why these two are feuding in case you thought there was. Is it possible that D’Lo Brown is the most successful of these four men? I do believe he is and that’s a scary thought. Anyway let’s get to this. Brown vs. Buchanan to start us off with Brown controlling so far. Godfather takes Boss Man’s interfering head off while Brown is on offense.

Off to the pimp now as the fans want puppies. Big elbow misses as we talk about JR wearing some of Godfather’s clothes for some reason. Basically Boss Man dominates when he’s in and Buchanan can do one move, that running up the corner into a spinning clothesline. Blind tag brings in the Boss Man who gets two on Brown as Godfather saves.

Axe kick by Buchanan gets two. Brown and Boss Man on the floor now and Godfather accidentally clotheslines the referee. I say accidentally as the referee doesn’t even go down so it wasn’t the point obviously. Boss Man gets two on Brown who is the face in peril here. Buchanan with a bearhug now as the fans chant for D’lo.

Naturally that doesn’t do it but an elbow takes down Brown. Double teaming by the guys in black as Godfather just looks stupid. Boss Man sucks chant starts up. The beating goes on for awhile with Buchanan hitting a double axe off the top. We talk about Pete Rose for a bit and apparently he’s got a ball bat with him just in case.

Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Godfather and Brown busts out a rana to break the momentum. Here’s Godfather who cleans some house. Ho Train hits Boss Man in the corner sets up the Lo Down from Brown. Bull pushes him off the top though but Brown lands on his feet. Boss Man Slam kills D’lo though and a guillotine leg drop from Buchanan ends this.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s Godfather/Brown vs. Boss Man/Buchanan. It’s not a terrible match but is this really what you want to open Mania? Also, a heel team winning the opener? Just not a great idea especially after the crowd got fired up for the rapping. Not bad but just odd.

Steph and HHH are in their office talking about how great their lives are.

The referees explain the rules of the Hardcore Battle Royal tonight. It’s a 15 minute time limit. There’s no limit to the amount of title changes in that period. Apparently the 24/7 rule is waved after tonight. I think Crash has to be pinned to get the title off of him.
Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Farrooq, Bradshaw
The idea here was that the Hardcore Title was defended 24/7, as long as the challenger had a referee with him. This led to some interesting situations such as pin falls as amusement parks, hotels, etc. You have 13 guys here and whoever gets the last pinfall leaves with the belt, which would be kind of pointless as the 24/7 rule would be in effect so he could get attacked seconds after it ended right? It’s not really a battle royal but rather a 13 man match.

There are weapons at ringside and thankfully a lot of the guys come out in groups or teams to save some time. The Posse gets a small pop. The APA gets the biggest pop by far. Here we go. Remember there are 15 minutes to this period. Everyone but Crash and Taz go to the floor almost immediately and Tazz gets a suplex on Crash to win the title in maybe a minute. Now they have to pin him to get the title, which Viscera does with a splash. We’re not even at 13 minutes left yet.

Everyone is on the floor now and someone has a box fan. There’s a flag in there. The Posse of all people jump Viscera and they actually work for a bit. Lots of weapon shots to Viscera, mainly from the APA. Crash is busted open. They’ve taken the clock off the screen now because they want us to have to think I guess. Crash, ever the lunkhead, tries to jump the future Big Daddy V.

The crowd is kind of dead as they’re just hitting each other with weapons here. Bradshaw is like screw it and starts beating the tar out of people. Hardcore gets two on Viscera after a shot with a trashcan lid. Ten minutes left as JR says these guys won’t forget their first Wrestlemania. I’m not sure how many this is their first for. Taz is I think and that might be it. Funaki maybe?

We haven’t had a fall in like four minutes. 2/3 of the Posse and Viscera are in the ring now with Thrasher. Viscera beats everyone up with a cookie sheet. Farrooq comes in as Viscera climbs the ropes for no apparent reason. The APA get a double slam which doesn’t really keep him down. They throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera and Funaki is called the new champion.

Taka immediately smacks him upside his head and the chase is on! Funaki proves to be the most intelligent guy here as he’s trying to run. With a little under seven minutes left some of the Posse catches him in the back and Rodney steals the title. Abs gets a suplex and gets the title. That was a 24 second title reign for those keeping count. Thrasher rams Joey into a wall and gets the title.

Thrasher then runs through a line of people who all hit him with weapons and we’re back in the arena now. Pete Gas finds a fire extinguisher and the third member of the Posse has the title now. Then Tazz grabs him and I think Pete is busted. Oh yeah he’s busted good. A T-Bone Suplex gives Taz his second reign of the night with a little over 4 minutes left.

Hardcore gets two after ramming him into the steps. Crash is busted BAD. Taz tries to pin Mosh as I guess instincts took over or something. Taz keeps kicking out. Both Hollies fight Taz in the ring with Crash not being able to do much at all. ECW chant starts up and we’re under three minutes. Taz stands alone and covers Crash with two and a half minutes to go. Eh it’s not a big deal. As a wrestler I guess you’re trained to go for covers.

The Hollies beat Crash down and both guys try for the pin. Naturally they end up fighting which is what they do in that family I guess. With two minutes left Taz suplexes Crash and Hardcore gets a powerslam on Taz for two. I love how no one else has seemed to care about trying to win the title and is just fighting. Taz suplexes Hardcore and he hits the floor, stealing JR’s candy jar.

Now we get to the weird part of this. Crash gets a weapon shot in on Taz and wins the title with about 20 seconds to go. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore comes in with the candy jar and busts it over Taz’s head (legitimately injuring Taz’s eye and costing him the push that would ultimately go to Chris Benoit). He covers Crash and the referee just doesn’t slap the mat for three.

What was supposed to happen was the clock was supposed to go out with Hardcore having a 2.99999 count. They messed up the timing though and the referee had to stop. They further messed things up by having Fink say Hardcore won the title while JR screams that there was a shoulder up. Totally not the planned ending but you have to do what you have to do.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? The idea makes sense and given what’s going on, the mistake at the end is very excusable in my mind, and since this is my review of the show, it’s excusable. It was wild and stupid, and that’s just fine. The match was fun and that’s all that really matters.

Video on Axxess. That still looks awesome. They have a small arena with matches going on, a commentary booth where you can sit down with Michael Cole and call a match, race cars, autograph booths, a Hall of Fame exhibit. Austin and HBK, two guys that weren’t active at this time, are there too. I’d love to go to something like that.
Al Snow is in the bathroom talking to someone in a stall but Steve Blackman is worried about what he’s planning.

We go from that to an extreme closeup of Trish’s ample chest as she says WM is going to see some T & A.

Test/Albert vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

This was a really weird angle in the tag division as Snow and Blackman were doing the odd pairing that won almost every match they had, but Snow insisted that they needed a name which didn’t go that well. Test and Albert were guys that Trish had handpicked to be her team. What you have to remember here about Trish is at the time, she wasn’t a wrestler and was nothing more than the hot manager. It wasn’t for about two more years before she and Lita took the division to new heights.

As for the match, before it we get Al Snow talking. One of the names he was pitching was Head Cheese, going along with his Head gimmick. Out comes Chester McCheesyton, a walking piece of cheese. Sadly enough, I’m not making that up. Trish leads their opponents down, but is WAY more muscular than when she started wrestling. If this is believable, she let herself go physically before she started wrestling.

Lawler messes up the headsets and JR is gone for a bit. Blackman and Test start but it’s off to Snow soon thereafter. Blackman tries to keep the Head Cheese chants down as this filler match goes on. This is a good show later on but these opening matches are pretty freaking bad all things considered. I’m watching Al Snow and Steve Blackman at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.

Oh and JR is back now. It breaks down quickly as you can tell JR has nothing to work with here at all. There’s no point in talking about the match as it’s just about getting us to the end and that’s all there is to it. The cheese hits on Trish and is named Chester the Molester. Albert gets beaten down for awhile as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. This is what Raw and Smackdown are for.

Did I mention that this match is terribly boring? It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening in the ring but nothing matters at all. Crowd is DEAD here. It doesn’t help that the wrestling is boring. Double powerbomb to Snow gets two. There’s the boring chant. Bowling shoe tendency line by Ross. Head Cheese’s finishing move, the move that the Smoking Guns called the Sidewinder, gets two. FINALLY Albert gets a press slam on Blackman and the elbow from Test ends it.

Rating: F. Thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen and somehow it’s nearly an hour into the show. Just a terrible match all around and everyone knew it. Get on to whatever is next please.

The “good guys” beat up the cheese dude post match.

We get a horrible segment of Kat and Mae Young where Kat is sitting in a chair sans clothing and Mae keeps handing her things that cover up certain parts. Austin Powers was very big at this time and it’s supposed to be like that I think.

The Dudleys, still in their original AWESOME mode, say they’ll win and even though the odds are against them they’ll take things to a new level. These two more or less saved the division.
Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

This was before the name TLC was coined, but it’s the same thing with a bigger emphasis on the ladders. Edge and Christian were still chasing the belts at this point and the Dudleyz are the defending champions. At this time, the Dudleyz were so over it’s mind blowing and they were easily the biggest tag team in the world. There’s no backstory here other than they’ve been feuding over the belts and E/C and the Hardys have had ladder matches before. These matches never have much backstory but they don’t need to.

The Dudleys climb a ladder and pose during their entrance so the other two teams start fighting without them. All six guys brawl in the aisle until Matt and Christian hit the ring. Matt and Jeff look A LOT alike here so I’ll likely get them mixed up at least once or twice. These matches are very hard to call so it’s likely that I’ll miss something.

Bubba beats on Jeff in the ring until Jeff gets what would become known as Whisper in the Wind to reverse. Bubba Bomb and Bubba rules the ring. That may never be said again forever. The fans want tables as Christian goes up the ladder early. Matt saves as the ladders are brought in quickly. Crowd is surprisingly quiet here but after the first three matches they had to sit through I can understand that.

We start the violence though and the fans wake up a good bit. Ladders are rammed into people and pain is caused. Matt gets the screaming…elbow onto D-Von onto the ladder. Jeff tries a 450 onto Bubba onto the ladder but the fat country boy moves and Jeff nearly kills himself again. In other news, the sun came up today. Bubba actually hits the backsplash off the middle rope but hits his head on the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN!

Matt’s entire body is crushed by a ladder and then the same thing happens to Edge. They’re doing a lot more with the ladders here. Bubba does the Terry Funk spot as he spins around with the ladder around his neck. Edge/Christian beat on D-Von for awhile and then sit up a ladder in front of the ropes. Christian dives off and takes out Matt and Bubba. Nice dive indeed.

Jeff goes up but Edge dives off the top rope to spear him down. Oh man would that be topped by about a thousand next year. Edge takes a Crucifix Bomb from Matt off the ladder. Christian throws a ladder at D-Von. Why do stuff that is too complicated I guess? Three ladders set up now but Bubba takes Christian down with the Cutter off the ladder. SWEET spot.

The Hardys kill Bubba with the legdrop/splash combo off ladders. D-Von and Christian in the ring now but here’s Edge. The Canadians get a double suplex off the ladder in a great spot. Everyone but the Dudleys go up and everyone but the Dudleys crash down. And here comes Bubba! Here they go again, this time with all six of them.

Christian and Jeff go flying over the top rope to the floor as do Matt and Edge. The Dudleys wind up in the ring somehow but they’re a bit dead at the moment. Christian staggers to his feet and is sandwiched between two ladders. The look on his face in short says “That hurt a LOT!” Old school 3D to Edge, which is where Bubba runs parallel to him and then crosses over to catch Edge in the cutter in stride. It’s an awesome move when done right.

The Dudleys don’t have their catchphrase yet so they just get the tables. With two ladders already in the ring the ring, the Dudleys set up a table on top of them like a bridge/platform between them. The Hardys are back now to surprising booing. To the floor we go and Matt is slammed into the steps and HARD. This has been an incredibly physical match to say the least.

There’s a table in the ring in front of a ladder with D-Von on said ladder and a table in front of the announce table. Matt goes on the one in the ring and Jeff is in a powerbomb position in Bubba’s hands on the announce table. In stereo, D-Von dives onto Matt and Bubba powerbombs Jeff in a cool sequence. Jeff somehow gets up soon thereafter and tries his barrier run but Bubba PELTS the ladder at him to stop Jeff in midair which looked sweet again. Jeff has taken a man’s beating in this.

And now it’s time to set up the big spot in this match as Bubba debuts the super ladder in the aisle. There’s a table set up in front of it and Jeff gets laid out on it. Christian comes up with the bell to clock Bubba. Jeff gets off the table as Bubba is laid on it. And he begins to climb. In the HOLY CRAP spot of the match, Jeff jumps off the ladder and half kills himself with a Swanton Bomb through Bubba through the table. That was the top of Jeff’s highlight reel for a long time.

Back in the ring with D-Von kind of alive. Matt and Christian are in there too and are trying to stand. Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and Matt and Christian both start climbing. They get up on the platform but Edge is climbing up behind Matt. Edge throws him off and through a table which explodes on impact. The Canadians grab the belts and win their first tag titles to finally end this.

Rating: B+. This was a great match but there are a lot of dead spots in there. Jeff is easily the star of this match as he took one of the best beatings you’ll ever see with huge bump after huge bump. Somehow this would be topped the next year and this match would be blown out of the water. Great match and definitely picked up a bad show so far. I liked it quite a bit but somehow next year’s was that much better.

In the back we have Linda McMahon with Mick Foley. I forgot to mention, the idea behind the main event is that there’s a McMahon in every corner. Stephanie and HHH, Vince is backing Rock, Linda brought Mick back in, and Shane was Big Show’s manager for lack of a better term. Foley, with washed hair, says his fairy tale will come true, not his opponents.

JR and King talk about how great the ladder match was and they’re right. Considering that almost nothing like this had ever been done with so many people, this was beyond great.

Terri vs. The Kat

Val Venis is the guest referee here. To cover up the fact that neither can wrestle, the only thing you have to do here is throw the other girl out of the ring. Val’s pre match promos are always great. Apparently he and WM have things in common: they’re large extravaganzas, they get blood pumping, but unlike Val, Mania only comes once a year. And people have the nerve to wonder why the Attitude Era scared away parents.

Terri has Moolah with her and Kat has Mae Young. This is one of the major problems with great matches: after them, you get stuff like this. Terri truly was ugly to me. Val makes out with both in the middle of the match as this continues to cry out for someone to save the division. Terri gets thrown out but Mae is kissing Val. She comes back in and Terri wins. Afterwards, Kat strips Terri of her pants.

Rating: F. Didn’t care at all and it was terrible. A complete waste of time and an insult to my intelligence. It was like two minutes long and awful to say the least.

In the back we see Eddie, Saturn and Malenko getting ready to face Too Cool and Chyna. Eddie has a crush on Chyna but can’t get her attention.

Chyna/Too Cool vs. The Radicalz

This feud went on forever and no one cared. Let’s get this over with. All I have to remember is that the triple threat is next. That should get me through this. Oh well at least Chyna looks pretty good here. I’ll give Too Cool this: their music is downright catchy. Scotty vs. Eddie starts us off here. Eddie gets beaten down a bit and we get some dancing.

Chyna is tagged in and Eddie literally runs away on his knees. Dean, the Light Heavyweight Champion is here now. JR thinks Chyna looks hot. That’s just wrong on so many levels. Grandmaster and Chyna hit a double suplex on Malenko. Hey look: more dancing. Is that all Too Cool could do? Back to Eddie who avoids the top rope legdrop. Ok so it was more like Saturn shoved Grandmaster off but work for me here.

Grandmaster vs. Saturn at the moment. Saturn steals Grandmaster’s head gear complete with dreadlocks or whatever that is. Back to Eddie who takes over for a bit and it’s cold tag to Scotty. Eddie keeps trying to get Chyna’s attention which fails completely. Since she isn’t paying enough attention she gets her head rammed into the post. Good. Witch deserved it.

Saturn and Malenko get beaten up by Scotty and it’s time for the Worm. Oh but since it’s Mania it’s a double Worm to both Radicalz not named Eddie. Everything breaks down a bit as we’re still waiting on Eddie vs. Chyna. Nice superkick by Saturn to Scotty as we’re in a bit more of a standard match now. Elbow hits Scotty from the top for no cover.

Off to Eddie but he can’t get the Frog Splash off. Scotty drills him and it’s a superplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Chyna and Eddie can’t run away fast enough. Handspring elbow to Saturn as Chyna is cleaning house. Double low blow and Eddie drills Chyna. Chyna counters a powerbomb and gets a bad one of her own. She grabs Eddie’s balls and then gets a sleeper drop for the pin. They would be together the following night.

Rating: D. Well Chyna looked good and she got to beat on Eddie. That’s the extent of the good stuff about this match. It’s nothing special to say the slightest and is yet again another pointless match on this show in a long streak of them. Again though, the triple threat is next. Keep repeating that.
That day there was a thing called All Day Long which was an 8 hour countdown of WM history that cost an extra 50 dollars. Our cable company screwed up and we got It for free. Anyway the point of this is there was a contest with the winner getting front row seats and the winner is shown. She and her husband are the definition of white trash but it’s kind of a cool idea. They’re from Allentown, Pennsylvania, hometoiwn of the Nasty Boys as I show my nerdiness.

Shane tells us how awesome Big Show is. Show says he’s awesome and will take apart the other three.

Bob Backlund who is kind of Angle’s mentor made the match with both titles being defended in the same match/back to back. Kurt kind of goes insane and puts Backlund in the crossface chickenwing even though you can tell there’s no pressure on the arm. One of the medals breaks during this scuffle.

Angle talks to a security guard to try to get some extra security, offering autographs as payment. Much funnier than it sounds.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

This is the match that everyone remembers from this show as well as being a very cool concept. Angle has both the European and Intercontinental titles and is defending both in back to back triple threat matches. The first fall is for the IC title and immediately thereafter the European Title match starts. With these three, are you expecting less than greatness?

The brilliance behind this is that even if one has a bad night, the other two are there to cover for them. Jericho is clearly having a blast on the mic here and says he’ll win something and be the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah no matter what. Angle is still the goofball heel which is some of the best stuff I can ever remember. Him being less than a year into his pro career is insane.

Speaking of insane, Benoit jumps him on the floor and the fight is on. They seem to be attacking Angle together for the most part but he fights them off somewhat. Benoit vs. Jericho now as this is rather fast paced. With Benoit and Angle on the apron, Jericho hits his springboard dropkick to take them both out to the floor. There’s a really annoying kid in the audience that is shouting about everything that’s said. Granted that’s not a terrible thing as that’s what fans are supposed to do.

Ross says Angle is great but talks about himself too much. Lawler: “So does Jericho.” Ross: “That’s a good point King. Maybe later you’ll make another.” No one ever accused JR of being the nicest guy in the world. Jericho is knocked off the top out to the floor where he slams into the table in a painful looking bump. Angle gets a snap suplex on Benoit for two.

Jericho knocks Angle to the floor and locks in a camel clutch to Benoit. This is too fast paced to call everything and they keep going back and forth. Jericho suplexes Angle and Benoit almost steals a pin. Then he does something stupid and tries to suplex Kurt. I think you get what winds up happening to Jericho. Benoit is sent to the floor and in some slick counters Angle gets a crossface chicken wing on Jericho.

Benoit manages to get a dropkick to Angle to break it up at the last second. He throws Angle into the crowd and hits the swan dive to Jericho for the pin and the Intercontinental Title. In a smart move Benoit tries to immediately cover Jericho but Angle breaks it up. All three are back in there now and Angle’s moonsault is crotched.

Angle is up top and Jericho tries a belly to back suplex. Benoit drills Jericho and suplexes him instead. Angle tries the moonsault to Benoit but crashes and everyone is down for a count. After some covers Jericho grabs the Walls on Angle but Benoit breaks it up. Angle wakes up and hammers away but Jericho takes him and Benoit down with relative ease. Double powerbomb to Angle but Benoit saves again. Rolling Germans by Benoit to Jericho get two as well.

Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Suplex to Kurt. Angle’s shoulder might have been up on the bridge so Jerry screams conspiracy. Jericho misses the forearm and drills the referee with it. Crossface goes on and Jericho taps but there’s no referee. Walls of Jericho to Benoit but still no ref. Angle drills Jericho with a belt to break it up which only gets two. Benoit misses the Swan Dive to Angle so Jericho hits his fellow Canadian with the Lionsalt for the European Title to end this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff indeed with all three guys working incredibly hard the entire time. It’s also a good way to get the titles off of Kurt without hurting his reputation. He would be world champion in the fall so he doesn’t have much to complain about. Excellent match and probably their best matches up to this point.

Vince is in the back with Cole as apparently the four way can only have eliminations via pinfall and it’s No DQ. For a multi-man match, that’s the best way to go. Vince says the McMahons won’t be a factor. That’s why they were the focal point of the match right? Vince says he’ll “make it right.”

HHH says he will not lose.

Kane/Rikishi vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg

This is pure filler before the title match, but there’s a story to it at least. DX is accompanied by Tori who is Kane’s ex. She was his first relationship and left X-Pac, allegedly because Kane wasn’t big enough for her. She’s pure sexuality and while she’s not the most famous or attractive diva, she’s one of the sexiest. The name Pete Rose is thrown around here as he might want a piece of Kane after two years of getting beaten up. Kane has been chasing X-Pac for months and this is about the best shot he ever got at him.

Well if nothing else we get the awesome Kings of Rock theme for DX. The more I see of Jesse James, the more I’m impressed. We now get Rikishi. Oh yay, it’s Rikishi. GOOD GRIEF I HATED THIS GUY. People, you want to complain about JBL being useless? This is the epitome of useless. If you remember earlier on I said there was no Austin. He was out getting neck surgery so the reason given was that he was run over by a car at the Survivor Series. No one knew who was driving it or who was behind it.

Austin comes back in the fall from being out nearly a year and the man hunt begins. Who was it? HHH, Rock, Vince, maybe even one of the new guys like Jericho or Benoit, looking to make a name for themselves? Nope. It’s Rikishi, the 400lb, thong wearing, dancing sumo wrestler. He debuted about a week after Austin was run over and while Austin was out, Rikishi rose to the IC title in a decent run and hit amazing popularity.

Then in the worst move I can ever remember, he’s revealed as the mastermind of the plot to attack Austin. They have a match and finally everyone realizes the massive problem: Austin can’t beat Rikishi up the way he usually does others because he’s too fat.

No one buys into Rikishi as the big bad he was supposed to be, so WWF pulled the blug at the last minute and said Rikishi was working for HHH, making him the true evil one. Rikishi was gone soon thereafter, thank goodness. Anyway, Kane comes out to end my hate filled rant. Paul Bearer in the red suit is just sweet looking for some reason.

Bearer and Tori get into an argument so DX double teams Rikishi. Kane has the inverted colors tonight which is awesome. Stinkface to Road Dogg as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Stinkface to Tori is avoided to big booing. DX tries to run which doesn’t work at all. Kane finally gets his hands on X-Pac.

We finally get back in the ring and Pac kicks Rikishi’s head off. Pac vs. Rikishi is how we finally start it up. Bronco Buster by Pac and it’s off to Roadie. Pac in again and he can’t do a thing. Rikishi hits a one man 3D and it’s off to Kane. Road Dogg gets his head kicked off and Tori is thrown in. Stinkface for her and a Tombstone for X-Pac ends it quickly.

Rating: D+. Well for what it was supposed to be this was fine. Keeping it short was a great thing as this barely broke four minutes. Kane gets his revenge, we get the comedy stuff, Tori looked good, and then we get what the whole point of this is about: the post match stuff.

Too Cool comes out to dance but the San Diego Chicken comes out like last year. Rikishi comes in to kill the chicken but is intercepted by some yellow sunglasses. Somehow the dancing gets the best pop of the night. The chicken can move and it’s pretty clear that’s not Rose. Kane goes after the chicken but Pete Rose comes in.

Chokeslam to Rose and Paul Bearer does the crotch chop to him. Rose gets a Stinkface to FINALLY end this. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s childish, I know it’s idiotic, but I absolutely love these Pete Rose segments. The guy is having fun and gets beaten up three straight years and it’s still awesome. I loved these things and they still make me smile. Kane’s pyro is louder than usual and it made me jump a bit.

Rock says his time is now and he’s taking the title back. This is serious Rock and it works very well.

Some celebrities are here.

Quick recap of the title match. HHH was WWF Champion so he’s explained. He was feuding with Cactus Jake and retired him at No Way Out. As a favor to him in real life, WWF brought him back in for one final match so he could live out his dream of main eventing a Wrestlemania. Since he was officially retired, if he wins here he vacates the title and a tournament starts that ends at next month’s Backlash.

Rock was the last man out of the Rumble, eliminating Big Show. However, Big Show produces a video showing that Rock’s feet hit the ground before Show’s, so Show officially won. Rock had signed the contracts though, so he couldn’t be taken out but Show could be added, leading to all four being in here. Also remember the McMahon in every corner aspect (Linda – Mick, Stephanie – HHH, Vince – Rock, Shane – Big Show).

WWF World Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show

Foley comes out first and you can tell he’s choked up. This was classy of WWF to let him have one last time and to let him accomplish his dream like this. It’s clear that the McMahons are the focal point here and is anyone really surprised by that? Big ovation for Rock here as this totally should have been Rock vs. HHH. I get the Foley addition, but did anyone want to see Big Show in there? I miss HHH’s My Time music. That was awesome.

HHH was at the absolute peak of evil here and he looks like awesome. If Stephanie’s hair didn’t look absurd, that bareback pink top and leather pants would work a lot better. HHH doesn’t quite have the water spit down yet. Here we go. Foley vs. HHH and Rock vs. Big Show to start. No tagging here of course. They say fatal fourway but it’s elimination. Foley is out of shape here as he more or less stopped training after No Way Out but to be fair he thought he was done.

Show beats down Rock and takes down the other guys with a double clothesline. Press slam to Rock which is incredibly impressive. Same to HHH. Foley jumps on his back so Show just drops backwards with him. Well why do something other than what works? Rock gets up and hammers away but a side slam takes care of that.

Show tries a chokeslam on HHH but Foley kicks him low. Foley and HHH hammer away on the Giant as does Rock. A trio of clotheslines put him down and they do a Horsemen stomp. Foley drills HHH out of instinct and they hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline. Chair to the ribs of HHH as Shane trips Rock. Foley blasts Show in the back with a chair and a Rock Bottom puts Show out less than five minutes in. Was there ANY point to him being there? He would be a face in like a week which was good for him and us as we got THE SHOWSTER.

HHH tries to ally himself with Foley to get rid of Rock. That fails so HHH tries to ally himself with Rock to get rid of Foley. Take a guess as to what happens next. The double teaming of HHH goes on for awhile and we go out to the floor. Foley hands Rock the bell but HHH ducks and the bell hits Foley in the head instead. Out of nowhere Mick finds the 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire, drawing a big pop from the crowd.

HHH gets a low blow to save himself and gets the 2×4 for a shot to Foley’s ribs. Rock back in now and the 2×4 is dropped to the floor. Rock is sent to the floor and Foley gets a double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Mr. Socko time and the Claw goes on. Rock grabs the belt and blasts HHH so he can set for the People’s Elbow. Surprisingly though Foley grabs the Claw on Rock, only for the Rock N Sock Connection to take a double low blow to put all three down.

Rock vs. Foley for a bit now as Foley gets some near falls with the double arm DDT getting the closest one. Vince slid a chair in earlier but Foley gets it. Rock kicks it into his face though and then hammers away. He gets a DDT on Foley but HHH breaks it up, causing confusion from the announcers. Foley makes a deal with HHH to get rid of the Rock and the double team is on to huge booing.

Out to the floor where the double teaming continues. Mick gets reversed and his knees crash into the stairs. Those same stairs are rammed into the head of the Rock by Foley to keep Rock down. Rock is put on the Spanish Announce Table so Foley can go to the middle rope for the elbow. The problem is that he couldn’t jump that well and slams chest first into the side of the table, legitimately injuring his sternum.

HHH gets all mad and drops two jumping elbows onto Rock to break him through the table. Back in the ring Foley takes the Pedigree for a long two and a big pop. HHH shoves the referee down and then kills Foley with a chair to the head. Pedigree on the chair and Foley didn’t wrestle again for four years. Rock vs. HHH now for the title, but do you really think Foley is leaving that easily? He comes back and blasts HHH in the head with the barbed wire so that Rock can get two.

Rock clotheslines HHH to the floor and remember it has to end by pinfall. Out to the floor now and we go up the aisle. Rock gets a suplex up by the entrance in a cool looking crash landing. All Rock here. Into the crowd they go and then it’s back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH pops him with a chair so that the steps hit Rock in the head and fall on his chest. HHH hammers the steps with the chair. A Piledriver on the steps kills Rock but only gets two back in the ring. Big pop for that kickout.

Both finishers are countered with the Pedigree being backdropped to the floor. We go into the crowd again as it’s pretty clear they’re killing time before the finish. Back to the ring area and HHH smacks the hat off the head of an annoying fan. Spinebuster (called a takedown by Ross) on the floor by Rock puts both guys down.

We head to the announce table with Rock suplexing HHH onto the English announce table. You can tell it’s a big match when the American table is busted too. HHH gets a drop toehold to the steps to put Rock down. For some reason he gets in HHH’s face and Vince kicks some Game. Shane is back now and beats down Vince a bit.

Shane hits Vince in the head with a monitor and the look on Stephanie’s face that we cut to is perhaps the most unintentionally funny things you will ever see on WWE television. Stephanie is a lot of things. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy, she’s a great TV character, but she cannot act to save her life and this is one of those instances. She looks like the guy from Troll 2 if that gives you any indication of how stupid she looks here.

Anyway, Vince somehow pops up from a monitor shot to the head within 20 seconds and goes after Shane. Keep in mind that this sequence, which has gone on for like two minutes now, is happening during THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA. Yes, The Rock vs. HHH, perhaps the greatest feud of the Attitude Era other than Vince vs. Austin and the feud that would carry the comfpany to unthought of levels in 2000 isn’t enough as we need to focus on the McMahons and their drama. This is why this match and show are considered weak: it was about the McMahons and that’s it.

Shane manages to crack Vince’s head with the chair to put him down. They’ve literally not had the camera on HHH or Rock or the ring for three minutes now. They’re in the ring salsa dancing for all I know. Vince is busted open and taken to the back. There’s a trickle of blood which JR is saying is flowing by the quart.

HOLY CRAP IT’S WRESTLING TIME! Rock hammers on HHH and gets a DDT for two. Rock gets a slam for two as Shane has a chair on the floor. HHH gets a facebuster and drills Rock in the head with the 2×4. Shane in now but the reversed Pedigree sends HHH flying into Shane. Rock Bottom but Rock is spent. Shane is up with the chair now but here’s Vince as AGAIN it’s all about the McMahons. Shane goes down, Vince gets the chair, turns on Rock (SHOCKING!), chair to Rock, kick out, HHH gets the chair and drills Rock with it for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well let’s see. First of all, WAY too much focus on the McMahons. Second, this should have been Rock vs. HHH. That’s all there is to it. Also, a fatal fourway elimination match in the main event of Wrestlemania? That sounds like something from a video game. Also, when does a heel win in the main event of Wrestlemania? It’s supposed to be a feel good moment and that simply didn’t happen here. No clue what they were thinking here but it didn’t work like at all.

Vince and Stephanie reunite post match. Rock gets up and all three McMahons take Rock Bottoms. Stephanie gets a People’s Elbow after hers and it looked like Rock grabbed a bit of something when he was getting up for it.

Overall Rating: D. This was….bad. The show itself is mostly watch, but THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA. This isn’t Judgment Day….scratch that as Judgment Day in 2000 was great. This isn’t some WCW show where watchable is a good night. WWF was incredible in 2000 and this is probably the weakest show of the year by far.

I have no idea what the thought process was here but it certainly didn’t work at all. There are two good matches here and more importantly, not one singles match. What the heck were they thinking here? That’s a very good question that I don’t think has ever gotten an answer. Terrible show overall and it just didn’t work, especially for Mania.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




NXT UK – March 19, 2020: Take What You Can Get

IMG Credit; WWE

NXT UK
Date: March 19, 2020
Location: Coventry Skydome, Coventry, England
Commentators: Andy Williams, Nigel McGuinness

Things should feel a bit more normal this time around as this show was taped before everything went loopy. We should be good for a few more weeks around here as NXT UK tapes pretty far in advance. That being said, last week’s show wasn’t all that great so hopefully they pick things up this time around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Finn Balor showing up last week, getting in a few shots on Imperium, and running.

Opening sequence.

Kay Lee Ray vs. Dani Luna

Luna takes her down with ease to start but a charge into the corner is cut off with a knee to the ribs. Ray grabs a seated abdominal stretch and hammers at the chest, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two. Back up and Luna muscles her over with a suplex for her own two, only to have Ray grab the Gory Bomb for the pin at 2:33. Short and to the point here.

Post match Ray loads up another Gory Bomb but Piper Niven runs in for the save.

Last week, everyone glared at Finn Balor as he left, including a staredown with Tyler Bate.

Bate went to the bosses about a match with Balor but gets put in a twenty man battle royal for the #1 contendership in two weeks instead.

Video on Aoife Valkyrie.

Nina Samuels is tired of hearing this buzz about Valkyrie.

Ridge Holland vs. Joseph Conners

Conners bails into the corner to start and then gets thrown into it for a change of pace. A release tilt-a-whirl slam sets up some forearms to Conners’ face as the power beating is on. Conners manages to kick at the leg though and Holland is knocked outside, meaning it’s a suicide dive. Back in and Holland starts in on the leg with a DDT and chop block to keep Holland down.

The leg is wrapped around the post and Conners kicks away at it in the corner, where the leg is wrapped around the rope. Holland is strong enough to grab an overhead suplex before a Pounce puts Conners back on the floor. Conners kicks at the knee again and gets two off a slingshot Downward Spiral, only to get caught in Northern Grit to give Holland the fast pin at 7:45.

Rating: C-. Holland might not be the most in-depth character, but he has the two things he needs to be a star: a great look and a dainty hat. He’s the kind of guy that WWE stereotypically would love to push so it makes sense that he is getting a chance around here. If nothing else, going with someone who looks that much different than the rest of the roster makes a lot of sense.

Mark Andrews has been attacked before tonight’s six man main event.

Video on Ilja Dragunov.

Kassius Ohno vs. Kenny Williams

Ohno takes him to the mat with ease to start as the fans are behind Ohno for a change. Back up and Ohno knees him in the ribs but has to kick out of a sunset flip. A headscissors works a bit better for Williams, who grabs him by the wrist and goes up. You don’t do that to someone like Ohno though, as he pulls Williams down by the arm without much effort. Back up and Williams strikes away, including some kicks to the head. Ohno gets knocked to the floor and that means a suicide dive, only to knock Williams silly with a shot to the face. The Kassius Clutch finishes the out cold Williams at 6:59.

Rating: C. Williams was trying here but there’s something to be said about Ohno winning by hitting people in the face really hard and then bragging about how awesome he is at pure wrestling. I mean, he is good at it, but the whole thing is better than it should be. Not a bad match either, as Ohno continues to play his role well.

A-Kid interview, Noam Dar interrupts, match next week.

Video on Jordan Devlin vs. Travis Banks for the Cruiserweight Title next week.

Gallus vs. Dave Mastiff/Flash Morgan Webster/Trent Seven

Seven, Andrews’ replacement, shoulders and hiptosses Wolfgang down to start and it’s off to Webster in a hurry. Wolfgang shoves him into the corner though and it’s off to Mark, who gets hurricanranaed right back down. A quick distraction lets Mark get in an elbow to the face and it’s off to Joe for a pop up uppercut. Joe’s sliding lariat gets two more and we hit the neck crank.

It’s already back to Wolfgang for a running hip attack, plus some stomping from Mark. We hit the chinlock for a bit until a kick to the head allows the hot tag off to Mastiff. Everything breaks down and it’s Joe and Mastiff trading big shoulders. Trent comes back in to DDT Wolfgang but Mastiff blocks All The Best For The Bells. Webster Swantons Joe for two and a rollup gets the same but Wolfgang tags himself back in. With Mastiff and Seven down, All The Best For The Bells finishes Webster at 10:17.

Rating: C. It came, it went, it ended like you would have expected it to and it was fine. I’m not sure what else there is to say about it because there was nothing important to talk about here. They did their stuff and they did it fine, but the mixed bag of opponents for Gallus didn’t exactly make me interested.

Overall Rating: C-. That was one of the most decisively mediocre shows I can remember watching in a long time. There was nothing very good and there was nothing very bad, but it set up some stuff for the future so it was hardly a big waste of time. It was ok enough, but I need a little bit more than ok enough to get my interest up.

Results

Kay Lee Ray b. Dani Luna – Gory Bomb

Ridge Holland b. Joseph Conners – Northern Grit

Kassius Ohno b. Kenny Williams – Kassius Clutch

Gallus b. Dave Mastiff/Flash Morgan Webster/Trent Seven – All The Best For The Bells to Webster

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – October 17, 2005: I Love A Good Fire Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 17, 2005
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

The big story coming out of last week saw Jim Ross being fired by the McMahons, with Linda actually getting the big moment for a change. That probably means a lot of McMahon gloating tonight, which is almost always the case. Kane is also back tonight and we’re coming up on Taboo Tuesday in two weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Ross being fired. I’m rather nervous of that being the top story on the show at the moment.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He explains the idea of Taboo Tuesday before talking about how little power the fans had last week. They had to watch Jim Ross get fired and there wasn’t a thing they could do about it. Vince talks about how great it was for Linda to kick JR low and fire him, but that brings us to everything else going on here tonight.

There is a rumor that Steve Austin is on his way here tonight but until then, it’s time to celebrate JR. That means a highlight package, featuring every time that JR has been beaten or humiliated over the years, because that happens a lot for some reason. Vince brings out Coach to be the lead commentator so of course he’s in a black hat.

In the back, Kurt Angle asks Vince to be the new #1 contender. Cue Hurricane to ask what was up with the whole JR thing. Vince: “SICK HIM KURT! SICK HIM!” Angle beats Hurricane into the arena and puts on the ankle lock for a good while until referees make the save.

Kane is back tonight.

Jerry Lawler comes out to join commentary.

Vince talks to Eric Bischoff in the back about empowering the audience, so Eric has an idea: qualifying matches with the winners getting to be options to be the third man in a triple threat match for the WWE Championship, also involving John Cena and Kurt Angle.

WWE Championship Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Big Show

Show shoves him to the floor with ease to start and Edge’s waistlock goes just as well. Another toss over the top makes it even worse and we take a break. Back with Edge getting chopped in the corner but a shot to the ribs gives him a breather. Show shrugs off a dropkick but Lita’s distraction lets Edge get in a tornado DDT. Edge’s armbar is countered into a suplex and they’re both down for a bit.

The chokeslam and Edgecution are both countered so Show grabs the throat again, only to have Edge shove the referee. For some reason that makes Show let go, allowing Edge to hit the spear. Coach: “GORE! GORE! GORE!” Lawler: “Spear.” Lawler: “SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!” Edge tries to grab the briefcase but JBL’s music hits, allowing Show to nail the chokeslam for the win.

Rating: D+. I don’t usually like Edge relying on nothing but the briefcase but would anyone really buy Edge spearing Show for a pin? The JBL stuff seems like they have a plan for Survivor Series and that could be an interesting way to go. It’s not like a lot of their individual brand feuds offer all that much these days.

Wrestlemania tickets are on sale.

Edge and Lita tell Bischoff to tune into Smackdown to see what they’re going to do about this.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito is ready to face Shawn Michaels tonight but for now, here’s his guest: Mick Foley. Mick is glad to be in a ring with someone whose hair is actually worse than his. That brings him to last week, where the sole voice of reason in the McMahon Family fired Jim Ross, who is the best announcer this company has ever had.

Linda pops up on screen to say fans have not been happy with what happened to JR. It’s true that he goes in for colon surgery tomorrow and allegedly, Linda’s kick may have made it worse. That being said, if JR claims anything against them, they’ll sue him into the ground. Have a nice day.

Carlito says JR was a fat, out of shape loser, just like Foley. Mick agrees that he isn’t cool and doesn’t go to cool places, except for right here in Sacramento, California. The difference is that fans meet him and then think he’s cool, but fans meet Carlito and think he’s a horse’s a**. Carlito loads up the apple but Foley says Carlito should be worried about getting beaten up by Shawn Michaels tonight. Have a nice day.

WWE Championship Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Shawn Michaels

Carlito, still in the arena, jumps Michaels during his entrance and the beating is on in a hurry. A whip into the corner and some shots to the ribs give Carlito two, followed by an elbow to the jaw for the same. Shawn’s comeback is cut off with a hard whip into the corner and the chinlock is on in a hurry. Back up and a clothesline puts Shawn on the floor, followed by a knee to the ribs to cut him off again.

Shawn rolls through a high crossbody for two though and we hit the sleeper on Carlito. That’s broken up again and Carlito hits a dropkick in the corner to bang up the ribs. The abdominal stretch goes on but Shawn fights out and suplexes Carlito over the top, albeit with Shawn almost landing on him as we take a break.

Back with Carlito hitting his own suplex for two, only to have Shawn fight up for the chop off. A missed charge in the corner has Carlito in more trouble and it’s the flying forearm into the nipup. The top rope elbow connects but the superkick is countered into a rollup for two. The ref gets bumped though, allowing Carlito’s chair shot to hit the post. Sweet Chin Music into the chair into Carlito’s head is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure how much reason there was to believe that Carlito had a chance here so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but as usual, Shawn was able to get a good match out of him. What matters here is they built up a little drama, even if Carlito is hardly a challenger for the World Title, especially against John Cena, which we’ve seen multiple time snow.

As Shawn leaves, Ric Flair comes to the ring. Back from a break and Flair is in the middle of talking about HHH’s praise last week. HHH’s attack has lit a fire under Flair like he hasn’t had in years. He carried the brass ring for twenty years and he was the best wrestler in the world because of it. Now HHH has that ring but Flair questions it. There goes the jacket and there goes the elbow as Flair is fired up.

Back in 1975, Flair was in a plane crash and broke his back, but he was a champion six months later. One day in West Virginia, lightning hit his umbrella and killed a man standing three feet from him. Flair rips the bandage off his head and hits the cut, causing him to GUSH blood. He has taken HHH’s two best sledgehammer shots and he’s still standing, so get out here right now HHH.

Cue HHH so Flair pulls out a baseball bat and HHH runs off. A camera finds Flair in the back but he tells it to get out of his face and throws the bat down. This was very good, not just for the blood, but also because Flair sounded like he believed every word he said. Flair came off as a man who wants revenge and is willing to go to any length to get it, which is a dangerous combination.

Carlito wants Foley in a match at Taboo Tuesday.

Victoria/Torrie Wilson/Candice Michelle vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro/Mickie James

Trish and Victoria start things off but Victoria wants Mickie instead. She gets punched in the face for her efforts and now it’s Mickie coming in with a top rope Thesz press. Mickie takes Candice and Torrie off the apron but Victoria gets in a cheap shot. That earns Victoria a kick to the face…but Mickie looks at Trish and gets rolled up for the pin.

Post match Mickie points at Trish and hits Stratusfaction on Victoria. That could be interesting.

Steve Austin arrives in the parking lot and drives his truck all the way into the arena, scaring the women half to death. Back from a break and Austin says he is having to stay calm so he can get his point across. Austin has been here for ten years and there have been some good and bad times. Jim Ross is the only man who has been here for him the entire time and now he’s seeing JR being treated like garbage. Get out here Vince, because there is business to address.

Instead it’s Stephanie McMahon (Coach: “She is the hottest Diva in history.”) but Austin wants to know what is up with the McMahons talking about their balls. Even Stephanie talks about hers so maybe Austin is about to Stun his first transvestite. Two weeks ago, Austin Stunned the McMahons and now JR is gone. JR had nothing to do with what Austin did so he threatens to spank Stephanie (Austin: “I’ve got to be careful because I don’t want your balls to fall out.”).

This time Coach stands up to defend Stephanie’s honor though and tells Austin to run out of here like a scalded dog. Austin was going to beat Coach up anyway so he might as well do it now. Stephanie calls him off and has a proposition for him. Austin: “I think I’ve got a twenty on me.” She offers him a match against Coach at Taboo Tuesday with JR’s job on the line. Austin will drink to that and Coach is panicking. Beer is consumed but Stephanie says if Austin loses to Coach, he’s fired. Austin gets that and flips her off before heading to commentary to break Coach’s glasses. The hat is taken off too and Austin pours a beer inside, while saying he thinks Lawler is one of the best of all time. Austin was fired up here and it felt like the classic version at times.

Smackdown Rebound.

Before the main event, here’s Bischoff to announce Flair vs. HHH, Foley vs. Carlito and the Fulfill Your Fantasy Diva Battle Royal for Taboo Tuesday. For now though, we need a third option to join the triple threat and this man will be in the following battle royal. Cue….well actually John Cena because he wants to watch the match and do commentary. With that out of the way, cue the returning Kane and we’re ready to go.

WWE Title Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Edge, Kerwin White, Chris Masters, Snitsky, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, Tyson Tomko, Kane, Rosey, Eugene, Viscera, Rob Conway, Val Venis, Tajiri, Antonio Thomas, Romeo Roselli

I think that’s everyone. Carlito gets chokeslammed at the bell and he’s out in a hurry. Viscera is out as well and we take a fast break. Back with a few eliminations having taken place, including Snitsky, Tajiri and Edge (that’s a surprise). Rosey is tossed but Eugene pulls out Conway. Kane gets rid of Cade and Murdoch, Shelton gets rid of White and Kane gets rid of Shelton to clear out a lot of space in a hurry. Venis is out as well, followed by Thomas and Roselli. We’re down to Kane vs. Masters, with Kane getting powerslammed in a hurry. The Masterlock can’t go on so Kane backdrops Masters out for the win.

Rating: D. Now that was a fast one. They didn’t waste a bit of time here and they got to the (pretty) obvious finish in a hurry. I’ll certainly take that over some long and drawn out deal where Masters or Carlito were threats. Edge being eliminated so early was a surprise but at least he had already had a match earlier in the night to wear him down a bit. I can always appreciated not wasting time and that was the case here.

Overall Rating: C+. I can always go for a show that has a point to it and that was the case here. They were locked in on Taboo Tuesday and there were some good promos and segments to make me want to see the show. Austin and Flair were both fired up here and we have some good options to join the triple threat match. The wrestling wasn’t the greatest here, but the overall presentation worked well and I want to see where a lot of this goes in the coming weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: You Can Count On It

Welcome into my stream of consciousness:

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-can-count/




NXT – March 18, 2020: Their Own Goals

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT
Date: March 18, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Hosts: HHH, Tom Phillips

Things are all over the place now as we are on the road to….well probably this same building actually, assuming Takeover still goes down. I’m not sure what to expect from that, especially with Wrestlemania now taking place on Saturday night as well. Maybe they have something special planned, but we might be in for some big television shows in the near future. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

HHH and Tom are in Connecticut to host the show and talk about how awesome HHH was on Smackdown last week.

We get a long package on Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano, starting with their NXT tryouts, then getting turned down, then coming back and getting to come together into the Cruiserweight Classic. Then they went after the Tag Team Titles and after a few failed attempts, they finally won the titles in a classic match.

Post break, Johnny thinks he’s a better wrestler than Ciampa but DIY was a great team and they wrestled around the world with the Tag Team Titles. Then Ciampa was all banged up and they lost the titles to AOP because they just weren’t healthy. If winning the titles in Toronto was a dream, losing them in San Antonio was a nightmare. Ciampa knows Gargano was outshining him though, and that’s where things started going badly.

Post break again and we go to Chicago, where Ciampa wrecked his knee (again) in the ladder match and turned on Gargano after the match. Ciampa knew it wasn’t their moment and Johnny was furious because there was nothing he could do since Ciampa needed knee surgery. Gargano fought on his own and had success but he knew Ciampa was in the back of his mind. Johnny couldn’t win the title but after it was over, Ciampa jumped him from behind with the crutch shot.

Then it was off to New Orleans for the first showdown in an incredible match with Ciampa being absolutely hated by the crowd and Johnny winning a war. Gargano was proud of the moment and thought it was over but then they went back to Chicago for the street fight, which Ciampa won to even the score. Gargano went after Ciampa in an NXT Title match and accidentally made Ciampa champion. That set them up for a Last Man Standing match in New York but Gargano went too far and lost in the end. That caused Gargano to start see things Ciampa’s way, which resulted in him winning the North American Title.

Back from another break and we get to Ciampa having to vacate the NXT Title due to a neck injury. Gargano won it in New York against Adam Cole to finally become Johnny Wrestling again. Ciampa came out and hugged him because it was the old Ciampa back again. Then Gargano lost the title in his first defense, with Ciampa thinking that Gargano can’t win without him around. Ciampa came back from neck surgery in a hurry and the fans gave him a hero’s welcome. That was confusing to Johnny, but he helped Ciampa and reformed DIY because it’s what everyone wanted. Yeah Ciampa is back, but now he wants the title back.

HHH and Tom remind us that they’re here.

Ciampa got his title shot at Takeover: Portland and after thirty minutes, he knew Cole couldn’t beat him.

We see the last few minutes of the Cole vs. Ciampa title match with Gargano interfering and costing Ciampa the match.

Gargano says he meant to come out there and support his friend but he saw a look in Ciampa’s eyes and knew it was the old Ciampa. When Ciampa looked down at him, he knew what was going to happen because Gargano can’t let Ciampa have his own chance. They brawled at the Performance Center last week because Ciampa is a psychopath and Gargano didn’t get a chance to explain anything. It made sense to have them fight at the Performance Center last week because everything started there.

HHH and Tom are amazed by their rivalry and can’t wait to see them fight again.

Post break, we move on to Finn Balor, with HHH saying this is the Prince that he always wanted to see from Balor.

Video on Finn Balor’s initial NXT run.

Balor talks about signing with the company in 2014 because he was the best wrestler in the world. He fought the best wrestlers in the world and showed that he was the best around, including when he became NXT Champion.

Post break, Balor is drafted to Raw in 2016 as the #1 overall pick for Raw, making him an instant top star. Balor won a four way in his first night, then beat Roman Reigns and went on to Summerslam to become the first ever Universal Champion….but he hurt his shoulder (and almost everything arm related) and was out for the better part of a year.

Then he came back and was giving everyone the best matches of their career, capped off by a Universal Title shot at the Royal Rumble. He wasn’t winning much of these though and the Lesnar loss brought the passion back. Balor knew he had to go back to NXT, where the passion came from in the first place.

Then he got back, but things weren’t the same. Now he has to please everyone at once and that wasn’t going to last. What matters is getting where he wants to go because he’s 38 years old and wants that feeling again. It was nothing personal when he took out Johnny Gargano, because this is all about the prince.

We see the end of Balor beating Gargano at Takeover: Portland.

Balor says the Prince is back.

HHH and Tom talk about Rhea Ripley defending the NXT Women’s Title at Wrestlemania and how big it is for NXT.

We get a video on Ripley, who showed up here when she was 20 but wasn’t being herself with the long blonde hair and big smile. Then she started being herself and knew she was on the right track. She got over to NXT UK and beat Toni Storm to become the first ever NXT UK Women’s Champion and it was the biggest moment of her career.

Then it was time to move on to NXT, where she got in Shayna Baszler’s face, beat her at WarGames and then beat her for the title in December (she was so on fire at that point that they didn’t have a choice). Charlotte won the Women’s Royal Rumble and no one wanted to see her face Becky Lynch again. That brought Ripley to Raw to issue the challenge because people wanted to see it for a change. After Ripley dispatched Bianca Belair, it was time to face Charlotte and it turns out that it’s going to be in Rhea’s world at the Performance Center.

HHH and Tom wrap it up.  There was no mention of Takeover whatsoever.

Overall Rating: B. This show worked because they tried to do something and didn’t veer away from it. They were much better off not having more awkward matches in front of no fans so keep the fans updated while you figure out what you want to do next. NXT knows how to do these videos really well and I could easily see the first half being released before the eventual Gargano vs. Ciampa blowoff. Much better than Raw and Smackdown, mainly because it was doing something well rather than trying not to do something too badly if that makes sense. Even if it doesn’t though, this was a good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6