Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the biggest show in wrestling history with the biggest match in wrestling history as its main event. How’s that for a standard to live up to? In case you’re one of the six wrestling fans ever that hasn’t heard of this show, the main event is Hulk Hogan defending the WWF Title against Andre the Giant in a match four years in the making. In the undercard we have the greatest match of all time. This is the first show where they treated Wrestlemania as something huge and not just a big house show, making it the first “modern” Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The wide shot of the arena is still quite a sight. Oh and for once and for all: there were 93,000 people there. The argument about how it doesn’t hold that many doesn’t hold up as the total often listed is for football, which requires WAY more space than a wrestling show. It would be like covering half the field with more seats. On the other hand, let’s say WWE is lying about the number. A lie? In wrestling? Surely you jest. I don’t get why people are so obsessed with proving there were less people there than claimed.

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

A suplex gets two for Hercules as he picks Haynes up. Billy can’t suplex Hercules because of the back so the Greek guy hits a backbreaker to keep the momentum up. Hercules hooks the full nelson but can’t get the fingers locked, allowing Billy to escape. Jack fights out of it and they clothesline each other down. Haynes grabs a quick atomic drop to fire the crowd up but his back messes up again. A clothesline sets up a legdrop on Hercules and a middle rope fist to the head keeps Hercules in trouble. Jack gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls them both to the floor. Herc gets put in the hold again but a double countout ends this.

Rating: D+. The fact that the crowd is hot for everything tonight is all that made this passable, which can be a great tool to bring a match up a lot. At the end of the day, they’re WAY too similar and neither guy is exactly someone that can carry a match. It’s not terrible but it didn’t go anywhere at all. This would be the only feud of note that Haynes had and he would be jobbing soon.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

King Kong Bundy and his midgets say they’ll beat Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Macho Man won’t let Liz get interviewed.

We recap Race vs. JYD. Race is the King of Wrestling but Dog refuses to bow because he doesn’t think we have kings here in America. One night JYD put Race’s robe and crown on but Race decked him and tried to force JYD to bow. JYD is the Junkyard Dog in case you’re new at this.

Race, Heenan and Moolah (the Queen) says that there won’t be a new king tonight.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Hogan talks about riding to the show after hearing people telling him this was his last ride. Tonight it’s time for Andre to face the truth and all Hogan has to do is beat a 7’4 520lb giant. Andre has to beat Hogan and every Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is going to get Andre, not the dirty air or the politicians (HUH?) and Andre has to face the truth. I’ve seen the match he’s talking about probably 40 times and it still feels huge.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.

Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had left to make a movie and came back to find Piper’s Pit taken over by Adonis’ Flower Shop with Orton having sided with Adonis. Orton, Adonis, Muraco and Hart broke Piper’s leg but he came back with a ball bat and DESTROYED the Flower Shop. This is also billed as Piper’s farewell match.

Piper says he’s not going out to a man that wears a dress. No Retreat and No Surrender!

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Davis is a crooked referee that cost both the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Apparently this is Davis’ debut as a wrestler. Mary Hart (no relation) is on commentary along with Uecker here as well. Tito beats up Danny before the match before we get going with Bret and Santana. Jesse steals the Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda as he leaves. Off to Davey vs. Anvil and Smith pulls him by the beard. That’s a bit rough even for Neidhart.

Tito comes back in to work on the arm but gets sent to the heel corner for some high quality choking. That goes nowhere so here’s Smith vs. Neidhart again. Jim takes him down with a suplex but Bret misses a middle rope elbow. Dynamite comes in for the chest to buckle bump from Bret but Hart comes back with some punches. Tito tries to break up some interference but only allows even more cheating by Neidhart.

Jim hooks a modified camel clutch on Dynamite before it’s back to Bret. I don’t think we’ve seen Davis in yet but before I can finish that sentence he’s in for a few stomps. That’s the extent of his offense as it’s already back to Bret for some actual skill. The sun is starting to go down so the arena looks dark now. Back to Danny for one kick before it’s time for the Hitman again.

The Harts slingshot Davis right onto Dynamite’s knees and it’s off to Santana for the beating on Davis that the fans have been waiting for. Tito destroys Danny and hits the forearm but Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four. Off to Smith who rams Davis’ head into Dynamite’s. A jumping tombstone (not yet named) kills Davis even more but Smith doesn’t want the cover. There’s the delayed vertical followed by the powerslam but everything breaks down. Davis pops up and hits Smith with the megaphone for the pin in the melee.

Rating: C-. As fun as the beating Davis took was, the ending is really stupid as he popped up like nothing and was able to knock out a power guy with a single shot? The guy was a referee a few months ago but he’s able to do that with one shot? Bad ending aside, this was fun stuff and the fans were WAY into it.

Heenan and Andre say that Andre can’t be defeated and everyone knows it. Bobby’s white suit is rather awesome.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Slick is here with Reed. That comes into play later. Reed overpowers him to start which is appropriate in a power vs. speed match. Koko comes back with that dropkick of his to send Reed out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the Bird Man’s ribs give Butch control again but Koko hiptosses him down. Koko pounds away and hits another dropkick for two. A run of the ropes proves deadly though as Reed rolls through a cross body and a handful of tights pins Ware.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Koko was there as a warm body to lose to Butch. Reed was going to be the Intercontinental Champion after Steamboat got done with it but Honky talked his way into getting the belt instead. This match was there only to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to now.

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.

So far we’ve had eight matches and on average it’s probably a C- at best. I think the next one might help bring things up a bit.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. On an episode of Superstars, Savage smashed Steamboat’s throat into the barricade and crushed his larynx with the ring bell. One night on SNME, George Steele was facing Randy Savage and promised a surprise. Steele kidnapped Liz and when Savage got up, he saw Steamboat staring up at him and terror reigned.

Savage says that he’s retaining the title and is going to prove how amazing he is.

Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

The fans give an audible pop for Savage which even the announcers have to acknowledge. George Steele comes out to back up Steamboat and show off that green tongue. They shove each other around a few times before Randy takes an early breather. Savage misses a back elbow and Steamboat hits a pair of those perfect armdrags of his. Randy is lifted into the air via a choke and it’s back to the floor.

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

With the champion tied up, Steamboat fires away with a vengeance. Savage gets loose and Ricky hits a cross body for two, kicking off one of the fastest sets of near falls you’ll EVER see. Randy finally slows him down with a knee to the back and a toss over the ropes, only to have Ricky skin the cat. Savage throws him out again and knocks him into the crowd for good measure. The top rope ax handle keeps Steamboat down even longer and Savage is in full control.

Savage hits a clothesline for two which Gorilla doesn’t like. Gorilla: “That could be a disqualification.” Jesse: “For what?” Gorilla: “Intentional.” Jesse: “Well of course it was intentional!” Gorilla could find some weird stuff to complain about at times. After a pair of Savage suplexes for two, Ricky starts firing back and sends Savage out to the floor. A top rope chop gets two for the challenger and they speed things up all over again.

We get another chase on the floor followed by a sunset flip by the Dragon for two. They trade ANOTHER great pinfall reversal sequence as Jesse declares this one of the greatest matches he’s ever seen. A slingshot sends Savage face first into the post and there’s a sunset flip for two for the Dragon. Savage reverses an O’Connor Roll with a handful of tights for two. Randy uses the tights again and sends Dragon shoulder first into the post.

They reverse an Irish whip and the referee gets bumped. Randy hits another clothesline and drops the big elbow but there’s no referee. Savage goes to get the bell but Steele takes it away. That earns the Animal a kick in the head so he shoves Savage off the top. Steamboat is back up and famously counters a slam into a small package for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. This is the greatest match of all time so what do you expect me to give it. I’m amazed at how well this holds up nearly 26 years later as there is nothing wrong with it at all. The story goes that these two practiced this match at Savage’s house for three months beforehand and it shows. Not a thing is even close to screwed up and they’re so fast out there it’s unbelievable. How anyone can say this is anything but perfect astounds me to this day. If you haven’t seen this before, watch it now and take notes.

Alice Cooper (male rock/metal singer) is here to back up Jake Roberts against Honky and Jimmy Hart. This was set up because Honky hit Jake in the back with a guitar, which was allegedly the reason for Jake’s addiction to pain medication that has plagued him for years. Jake says Honky got his shot but didn’t make it count. His mustache alone makes him the favorite.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

This is one of the matches that is there to give us a breather between the masterpiece and the main event. Jake pounds away to start and hits a knee lift to send Honky out to the floor. Honky still can’t get his ring suit off so Jake rips it off for him. Jake follows him to the floor and slams Honky down before heading back inside. Back in and Jake charges into a knee to the face to shift momentum.

Honky drops a pair of knees to Jake’s back but misses a punch and walks into the short clothesline. The grease in Honky’s hair allows him to escape the DDT and we head outside again. Jake is sent into the post and the barricade so Honky can dance a bit. Back in and a middle rope punch puts Jake in even more trouble. There’s a knee drop to the Snake and a pair of elbows for no cover.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) is countered by Jake and there’s an atomic drop for the eternally funny selling by Honky. Jake punches him to the apron and Honky gets caught in between the ropes, meaning he bounces back up every time Jake punches him. The DDT is countered again and after a Jimmy interference, Honky grabs a rollup and the top rope for the upset pin.

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Gene Okerlund announces a new world indoor attendance record of 93,173. That’s awesome.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

Unlike the previous match that had a feud going with it, this is just a random heel and face pairing. Slick (the foreigners’ manager) still has his torn up suit on. Volkoff starts singing the Soviet national anthem but the pretty new Jim Duggan runs out to break it up. The Bees finally show up and it’s a big brawl to start. Duggan is marching around at ringside with the 2×4 complete with a little American flag taped to it.

We start with Blair and Sheik but it’s quickly off to Brunzell. The Bees work over Iron’s arm with tags faster than I can type them. They stay on the arm until Brunzell hits his gorgeous dropkick for two on Sheik. Everything breaks down for a bit and Brunzell gets caught in the corner. Nikolai keeps Brunzell in trouble as the fans chant USA. There’s the bearhug by the Russian but Jim smacks his ears to break the hold.

Off to Sheik for the gutwrench suplex for two and a regular version for two. Brunzell comes back with a quick high knee but the referee doesn’t see the tag. A double elbow puts Jim down again and Sheik poses a lot. Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring and sees Sheik with the camel clutch on Brunzell. Being the patriot that he is, Duggan blasts Sheik in the back with the board for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible little match here until the stupid ending. This was again about furthering another feud in the form of Duggan against the evil foreigners. Why the Bees would be ok with Duggan doing that is beyond me but I guess since they’re all good guys they have to get along in WWF logic.

Andre says the next time you see him, he’ll be world heavyweight champion. Heenan says he’ll be the manager of the world champion and go down in history.

We recap Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan. Andre was there three years ago when Hogan won the title and they teamed together a few times with Hogan making the save when Andre was double teamed. There’s a LONG story (not mentioned in the show because it isn’t important) about Andre getting suspended and wrestling in a mask until Bobby Heenan, the guy behind the suspension, got it lifted.

Andre appeared with Hogan in Piper’s Pit where both received trophies; Andre’s for being undefeated for fifteen years and Hogan’s for being world champion for three years. However, Andre’s trophy was noticeably smaller, prompting him to say “three years to be a champion, that’s a long time.” A few weeks later, Andre walked into the Pit with Heenan at his side and challenges Hogan for Wrestlemania. Hogan is STUNNED and has the crucifix ripped off his chest. Hogan finally agrees to fight Andre at Wrestlemania and the arena exploded. Make no mistake about it: THIS is why Wrestlemania III is the biggest show ever.

Hogan talks about how he’s going to knock the giant down and shake the world.

Bob Uecker is brought in as the guest ring announcer. Jesse says hi to Terry, Tyrell and Jade back in Minneapolis. He did this on nearly every show but never said who those people were. It was nothing secretive: it’s his wife and kids. Mary Hart is guest timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan walks to the ring and the ovation is unreal. To put it simply, this is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. We get the historic staredown and we’re really supposed to believe that Hogan is nine inches shorter than Andre? It’s like three at most. Hogan punches away to start but goes for a slam a minute into this and falls down, giving Andre a very close two. That right there would fuel the rematch requests for the next year. Hulk’s back is hurt and Andre starts taunting him. A big forearm hits Hogan in the back and Andre slams him twice. Andre pounds away very slowly and hits a few headbutts.

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

We head back in for the legendary ending sequence. Hogan ducks a big boot and clotheslines down. It’s Hulk Up time and in the most famous scene in wrestling history, Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant to blow the roof off the place. The big legdrop makes Hogan immortal and the title is retained.

Rating: B. Ok here’s the thing: if you think this is about the wrestling itself, you have completely missed the point here. This was about making Hogan look like the biggest star ever and to say it did that is an understatement. On top of that, the match isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but the match is nowhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. This was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Overall Rating: A+. There’s really no other grade to give this. It’s the biggest show of all time, the greatest match of all time is on here, and the main event has two of the most famous images of all time. This show is the pinnacle of wrestling in America and it’s never been as big as this again. There’s nothing truly bad on this show as even the weaker matches are at least really short. This show was never about the wrestling though. It’s all spectacle here and it’s an absolute must see show for any fan and it still goes by very smoothly. If you somehow haven’t seen this, definitely check it out.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 3
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac (Detroit), Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Now we hit the big time. This is the first time when Wrestlemania was built up as the mega event and also it’s the first time we get a few Mania traditions. For one thing, it’s the first time we get the huge main event. While the tag match and Hogan/Bundy were big matches, to say they were nothing compared to Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant is the understatement of the century.

It was also the first time we had a Mania that featured a really big midcard match in the form of what might be the greatest wrestling match of all time. There was far more backstory to these matches this time which is always a good thing as it causes far less filler. It can easily be argued that this right here is the true birth of Wrestlemania as we know it.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

That being said, let’s get to the first contest! Shockingly enough, it’s kind of a filler, but at the same time it really doesn’t feel like one. We have the short lived tag team known as the Can-Am Connection (Tom “Z-Man” Zenk and Rick Martel) against Bob Orton and Don Muraco, managed by Mr. Fuji. Now the CAC was an interesting team. They were kind of the Rockers before the Rockers.

Both were young, in shape, handsome, and fast paced workers. They were in line to be the face challengers to the Hart Foundation but Zenk left after a strange argument that we’re still unclear on and Martel was paired up with Tito Santana to form one of my all time favorite tag teams in Strike Force, who went on to beat the Harts for the belts.

But anyway onto the match. Yet again, about as basic a tag match as you can get with speed against power and that’s a combination that rarely fails. This is tag team wrestling 101 and it’s done about as well as you could ask for in a situation like this.

CAC plays the role of the young kids that aren’t that experienced against two veterans getting their first shot on the big stage to perfection. Orton gets his arm worked on and completely no sells it less than a minute later which just made me shake my head. This match boarders on a squash as the CAC are really never in trouble at all and win with a cross body on Muraco.

Rating: B-. The lack of selling by Orton and the absolute dominance by the CAC keep this from being a great match but for a warm up match for Wrestlemania that was designed to get the crowd into the show, this was done perfectly. I think I voted for this as best Mania opener ever, which I still think isn’t a stretch.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Next up we have Hercules against Billy Jack Haynes in a battle of the full nelsons. Simple story here: two powerhouses that both use the full nelson. A few weeks prior to this, Haynes had offered to let Hercules put the hold on him to see if he could break it. Hercules, a heel, attacked him and knocked him out with the hold, leading to this match at Mania.

The match starts off pretty fast with some hard hitting shots. Hercules takes over and all this seems to be about is getting the full nelson on the other. It’s really just a brawl which is fine as they keep it relatively short here. It’s always fun to see two big strong guys hammering on each other. Hercules has the pin and pulls him up which leads to the comeback.

Hercules gets the hold on first but it’s not on full which lets Haynes get up. Haynes eventually gets his nelson on but Hercules launches both of them to the floor where Haynes gets the hold again but we get a double count out. Haynes chases Heenan and Hercules blasts Haynes with the chain and Haynes is busted open really deep sending blood everywhere.

Rating: C-. Decent match between two brawlers that was given the right amount of time. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic and it wasn’t. This match was all about a single hold and that’s what ended the match. Went as well as it could have so it gets a decent grade.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

There’s little story to this if any and why midget wrestlers are involved is beyond me. Bob Uecker is on commentary which is good as he’s fairly funny for someone that has no wrestling experience. The rules are simple here: big vs. big and small vs. small.

This match if nothing else proves that Bundy against Hogan was thrown together because there was nothing left. He goes from main eventing Wrestlemania to this? WOW. This is pretty short with the midgets doing most of the work. I get the idea here is that they’re supposed to be professionals and interesting but how can you argue that they’re anything but a novelty?

They go back and forth with Uecker giving some funny commentary. I’m not a fan of these kind of matches at all. They fill time here which isn’t saying much until Bundy is tagged in. Hillbilly gets beaten down by him and then Bundy slams and elbows one of the midgets causing a DQ. Hillbilly carries him to the back in what is a far cry from Superman carrying Supergirl but I’ll take what I can get I guess.

Rating: F. Seriously, what were they thinking here? This match managed to get a few minutes on the biggest show of all time. I guess you could call this the final remnant of the old days when midget matches were popular, but I’m still not getting the point of this. Nothing match and a total filler if there ever was one. And again, how did Bundy fall so far in a year?

Elizabeth Promo. This doesn’t happen as Macho comes in and says he’ll answer any questions the interviewer has. The interview never happens as Macho sends Liz away.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Limited story here. Race was the King of the WWF at the time and on a SNME he had faced the JYD. JYD had said he wouldn’t bow to anyone and after Race had knocked him down he tried to force JYD’s head down to bow. The loser here has to bow to the winner. Race stalls like the true old school master that he is. Heenan gets involved and there goes Dog after him.

Naturally this fails him completely but since Dog has a very hard head most of Race’s shots have little to no effect. Race goes for a headbutt on the floor and Dog moves so Race rams his face into the floor. That can’t be nice at all. Gorilla and Jesse argue about managers which is always entertaining. You could tell there was a lot of respect between them.

Abdominal stretch goes on and Gorilla of course complains about it. Did he ever not complain about that hold? Race goes for a headbutt and nearly knocks himself unconscious in the process. Nice job there champ. On all fours now, which Gorilla says is Dog’s favorite position. Heenan gets up on the apron and allows Race to recover and catch a belly to belly to win it.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here as it was another four minute match. The right guy won though as Race was far better as far as wrestling talent went but it was surprising to see a guy like Dog, who was very popular, losing like this mostly clean. This was fine I guess.

Post match Dog bows but then pops Race with the chair and steals the crown and robe like a true jerk.

We hear from Hulk Hogan in one of the best cocaine induced promos ever. Seriously, if anyone believes that these Hogan promos aren’t drug induced then they’re far beyond what I can help. Hulk apparently thinks today is a big deal.

Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team

Before we get a really weird promo from Johnny V and Dino Bravo on the Rougeaus. Johnny V is nuts but I like him. On with the match. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake if you were wondering. The key to this match is the Dream Team arguing for the entire match for no good reason.

Brutus tried to break up a sleeper but hit Valentine by mistake. Rougeaus hit their finisher but Bravo comes in, hits one of them and puts Valentine on Rougeau. The other three then leave Brutus in the ring, signaling the start of his face turn that lasted until 1994.

Rating: D+. Didn’t do much as it was more for the angle than the match obviously. Not a bad match at all, but nothing mind blowing. This was another way too quick match that I couldn’t get into due to simply being too short. Also the Dream Team is worthy of a major blowoff like this? Really? Pretty weak little match but technically pretty ok.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper

Now we get to another of the famous matches here in Roddy Piper’s retirement match which has become a running joke in wrestling. The idea is that Piper went down with an injury and when he came back, Adonis had taken over Piper’s Pit and turned it into the Flower Shop.

They beat on each other for awhile until Piper thought he was an actor because of They Live so he decided to retire. Since then he’s wrestled on and off for over 20 years. A key to this match is both men use the sleeper hold as their finisher. The loser is going to get a haircut apparently.

Adrian is in his most famous gimmick here so Piper, being the MAN’S MAN that he is, hated him. There was a lot more homophobia in wrestling back then, at least in kayfabe. Well not really as any character like that is treated oddly. Those ring carts are still sweet stuff. Adonis says he’ll win. Piper busts out a belt and wipes out Adrian with it before taking a few shots of his own.

Hart gets involved a few times as this is little more than a comedy match for the most part. He finally gets something right though as he pulls Piper’s leg to give Adonis the advantage. Piper gets sent into the table and it’s all Adonis here. Back in the ring now with Piper saying bring it on.

Jimmy sprays perfume in Piper’s eyes and Adrian gets Good Night Irene, his sleeper finisher, and Piper goes down fast. He drops twice but Adrian lets go before the third drop, thinking he’s won. Brutus Beefcake runs down to wake Piper up (Adrian had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it makes sense) and Piper gets his own sleeper to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s a standard Piper match which is always fun. This was just a comedy match but at the end of the day piper’s career was never about what he did in the ring so how can I really complain here? This was no classic or anything but it was fine and the fans cheered a lot because of it. PIper didn’t wrestle again for over two years so Piper lived up to his word for a good while at least.

Post match Beefcake cuts Adonis’ hair. A fan runs in as he leaves.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

This match is pretty much all backstory. Danny Davis used to be a referee but he would cheat for the heels. He cheated Tito out of the IC Title and gave it to Macho Man and cheated the Bulldogs out of the tag titles and handed them to the Harts. He was banned “for life plus ten years”, which lasted about a year or so and he was back again as a referee. The idea here is that he’s completely inept at wrestling and all of his opponents want to kill him and Jimmy Hart, including the Bulldogs’ bulldog Matilda.

Davis will run in and kick someone maybe twice and then bail, more or less making this a 3 on 2 handicap. Hearing the commentators sing Bret’s praises is nothing but amazing as his singles push wasn’t coming for at least another year and a half and his real singles push was almost 3 years away. The kid really had talent and you can see it here.

Before the match Jesse went down to ringside to be introduced to the crowd so we have Gorilla, Bob Uecker and the host of Entertainment Tonight so the commentary is just bad right now. Uecker has some good one liners but the woman is just mindblowingly annoying. Davis misses a splash letting Tito get tagged in and he nearly kills Davis. The faces alternate with just beating the living tar out of him including a tombstone from Davey which was just odd to see for some reason.

The ending of the match was just awful though. Davis gets the sense beaten out of him taking all three of the faces’ finishers with the last being the powerslam. Bret breaks up the pin, and less than 10 seconds after getting powerslammed, Davis gets the megaphone tossed to him and drills Davey with it for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending was just horrible to me as Davis, a referee, no sells a tombstone, the forearm and the powerslam? With guys like the Bulldogs, Santana and Hart in there, this should have been great. At best it was ok and the ending lost that for them.

Heenan and Andre do a promo here with Andre looking absolutely creepy by not moving an inch. Weirdest part of this interview: Heenan is at least 4 inches taller than Okerlund.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Remember how I said there was less filler on this show? This is some of that filler. There’s no reason at all here for this match other than to let Reed get a squash here and then the post match attack. The best part of the pre match stuff is a shot of Jesse and Gorilla in the broadcast booth which is at least a few hundred feet away from the ring with Jesse showing off his Wrestlemania 3 t-shirt.

As he shows it off he starts showing off his bicep and the way he talks about it is just funny. Anyway, on with this waste of time. If there has ever been a match of a weird combination this is it. Koko is the epitome of a jobber. What did he ever win in his whole career? Reed on the other hand is a great example of someone that had it all but never could put it together. He was even lined up to be a member of the Horsemen.

He had the look, the name, the power, everything you could want but he never could put it all together and I’ve never been sure why. Anyway, this is a pretty bland match as Reed reverses a bad cross body and uses the tights to win. After the match Slick beats up Koko with the cane until Tito runs out and beats up Slick for some reason and rips up his suit.

Rating: N/A. This match was a bad squash. It had no point and the match was just boring. Easily the worst match on the show.

Savage rants about how he’s going to end this tonight.

Steamboat says the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

I think I now know why the previous match was in the place it was. There’s nothing I can really say about this match that hasn’t already been said. In case you don’t know the backstory, here it is. About 3 months before Savage had been defending the title against Steamboat and during the match had put Steamboat’s throat over the guard rail, went up top and landed a double axe handle, driving him throat first into the rail.

Steamboat had a crushed larynx and allegedly his career was over. Savage had a match on Superstars and Steamboat’s music hit and the crowd went insane. Epic staredown ensues and the match was made for Mania. Between then and Mania, George Steele kidnaps Liz to continue their year long feud so Steele was in Steamboat’s corner.

Savage can’t keep up with him to start and Steamboat dominates with armdrags and then a big old choke. Steamboat works the arm and Savage is in trouble early. Savage throws him to the floor though and now it’s Ricky in trouble. Very nice back and forth stuff to start. Savage goes for the throat which is the part of Steamboat that he hurt earlier so there’s your reasoning.

They keep going back and forth with Steamboat hammering away to get Savage caught in the ropes. They’re moving rather fast out there and Dragon keeps throwing out that armdrag. Ton of near falls in a row for both guys. Dragon Skins the Cat but gets knocked back to the floor. Savage hits a knee to the back of Steamboat to send him over the table and into the crowd.

Jesse yells at Gorilla for saying Steele helping Steamboat back in is cheating and calls Gorilla out of being hypocritical when another heel manager helped his guy back in early. Double axe to the back of the head of Steamboat on the floor and the count is on. Gorilla wants Savage disqualified for some weird clothesline thing. That was odd.

Savage gets a gutwrench suplex for two. Here comes Steamboat again though and he sends Savage over the top with a beautiful bump to the floor. He jumps OVER the referee to hit a big chop on Savage for two. They crank it up again for more near falls all over the place. Savage eats post on a slingshot and that only gets two. He manages to grab Steamboat and send him into the post shoulder first.

And there goes the referee. Savage gets the elbow but there’s no referee for the count. Randy goes out to get his trust bell but Steele shoves him off the top and his head cracks into the bell. Both guys are down though. Savage picks him up and in the famous ending, Steamboat rolls through into a small package for the pin and the title to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A+. As I said before, likely the greatest match of all time. Nothing but an A+ the whole way with these two beating each other up and never slowing down a bit. Apparently all of these spots were planned out months in advance in Savage’s house in Florida which worked very well as there are zero bad spots here that I can think of. Excellent match and something everyone should see at least once if not more than once.

Jake Roberts vs. The Honky Tonk Man

This all started on Jake’s interview segment the Snake Pit where Honky hit him with a real guitar. See today, the guitars Jeff Jarrett uses are fake. They’re made to explode the way they do. The one Honky used was a real one and didn’t break.

Some of the material legitimately got stuck in Jake’s neck and allegedly that’s what got him addicted to alcohol and drugs to alleviate the pain. Believe that if you want to. Anyway, that more or less started Jake’s face turn and for God knows what reason, rocker Alice Cooper is in Jake’s corner. Also factor in that Jimmy Hart is deathly afraid of snakes.

There’s really not much here. It’s about 7 minutes long so it gets some time but Honky really hadn’t established the character that made him legendary yet, so this isn’t what you’d expect. It’s a very slow paced match that was I think designed to give the people a breather after the IC Title match. They go back and forth for awhile but Jake goes for the DDT and Jimmy grabs his foot. Honky rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin. After the match, Jake and Alice torment Jimmy with the snake to end things.

Rating: C. It’s nothing special and is little more than a breather for the fans between the two mega matches. This was allegedly a double turn according to some people but that is just stupid as both guys already were in their more famous roles. This was a pretty ok match but dude, they’re following Savage vs. Steamboat. Like anyone cares about what happened here.

We get Gene Okerlund to announce the world attendance record of 93,173. No matter what you think of the show, that’s freaking amazing. This also gets you the beginning of the long running joke with Jesse and Gorilla of Jesse wondering whether or not he and Gorilla are counted in that.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

More or less the same review of the previous match but in tag team version. This is another filler to bridge the gap between the two big matches. As Volkoff is singing, Jim Duggan runs out with the 2×4 and stops the song. This is a really dull match with the Bees using fast moves against both big guys but eventually getting caught.

Duggan is on the floor playing cheerleader throughout the whole thing. Duggan starts chasing Volkoff for some reason while Sheik has one of the Bees in the camel clutch. They go into the ring and Duggan looks at Sheik and for no reason at all, blasts him over the back with the board. Even the commentators are at a loss for why he hit him. It just made absolutely no sense at all.

Rating: D. This match was boring and the ending made less sense than an Iron Sheik promo. Again this was just filler and a way to get the crowd all fired up for that whole biggest match of all time thing coming after it. There was very little thought in this one as the buildup was weak on Superstars. All that being said though as I said in the previous rating, dude they’re right before Hogan vs. Andre.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

This match has been called the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling and that very well may be true. It was the first true super main event in Wrestlemania history. Here’s the story: Hogan and Andre used to be friends and even tag partners. They celebrated together when Hogan won the belt over 3 years ago. Hogan ran in to save Andre a few times from being beaten up by Bundy and Studd.

Fast forward a year and Hogan is being given a trophy for being World Champion for three years. Andre is given a slightly smaller trophy for not losing a match in 15 years. He looks at the trophies and just walks away. A few weeks later, they have a face to face interview on Piper’s Pit. Andre tilts Hogan’s head up at him and says “Look at me when I’m talking to you. I’m here for one reason: to challenge you for a world championship match at Wrestlemania.”

Hogan is stunned and says he can’t do it. Andre grabs Hogan’s shirt and the cross he wears and rips them off, stunning Hogan. Piper asks him if he’ll fight him and Hogan screams YES!!! You really have to understand how big this was at the time. Andre was like Taker as far as mystique goes, but 10x moreso. This would be like Hulk Hogan coming back today and challenging John Cena to a match.

Hogan cuts one of the most famous promos of his career before the match, saying that the world is going to fall at his feet after the match. Hogan always had that little hint at implying he was God in his promos but never flat out said it.

Andre comes out and the booing is mindblowing. In something that I find funny, he waves to the fans on the way down to ringside. Jesse gives the tale of the tape, which is all of Andre and Hogan’s measurements, showing that as big as Hogan is, Andre is so much bigger. Bob Uecker is the guest announcer and after introducing Andre, says three simple words: and, his opponent. After that, the fans just lose it. Hogan’s music hits and nothing else matters at all.

Gorilla puts it best by saying “The roof of the Silverdome is about to explode here!” In a great camera shot, you get a wide angle shot of the arena with the spotlight on Hogan which really shows how this whole show has been building to this one moment. Hogan gets in the ring and it’s on. I won’t go into detail here either as I’m sure you’ve all seen this at one time or another. Every word of commentary is famous here as I can almost quote the whole match to you.

Within 15 seconds, Hogan goes for a slam and we nearly get a pin. That is a point that is used for over a year as Hogan might not have gotten his shoulder up in time. The way the camera is set up you really can’t tell if he did or not. That would be a point of contention from Heenan for nearly a year, leading up to their rematch in February of 1988.

The in ring work here is really pretty bad, but no one cared. This match was all about the meaning of what was going on and the truly epic nature of the match. No one really knew who was going to win here and it was a legitimate possibility that Hogan would lose. Andre more or less beats the living crap out of Hogan the whole match until the very end. Hogan gets some shots in here and there that do some damage and Andre is clearly worn out at the end of it.

The crowd is almost stunned that Hogan is being dominated. They brawl on the floor for a bit and then head back into the ring. Andre misses a boot and Hogan clotheslines him, knocking him down. The fans go insane at the sight of this. Hulk Hulks Up and he has the crowd in the palm of his hand at this point. In what might be the most most scene in the history of wrestling, Hogan slams Andre to enter immortality.

Even the commentators are in awe at this point as Hogan drops the leg and wins the match. Andre was so big at the time that Hogan ripped his ab muscles to pieces slamming him and was out for a few months. The music plays and Heenan and Andre get into the cart that takes them to the back as Heenan has his head in his hands, wondering what just happened. Hogan poses as we close the show with the fans absolutely going nuts.

Rating: A. The match itself is pretty bad but the historical significance is second to absolutely nothing. Now I’ve seen a lot of people (including his majesty Mr. Meltzer) say this was a horrible match and all that jazz. In short: SCREW YOU ALL. Get the sticks out of yourselves and have some fun for once. If you don’t get chills watching the staredown and the slam, then go watch something else.

You have Hogan and Andre who can barely move at all. What are they supposed to do out there? The entire idea here was to have a major showdown and that’s exactly what they did. THis match was epic, still is epic and will always be epic. Anyone that says this wasn’t a great match that did exactly what it was supposed to do is a fool, and i don’t care who I have to argue this with.

Overall Rating: B+. I went back and forth between B+ and A- here. This is the first truly historic Wrestlemania and the first to truly be the spectacle that is has become today. Easily the two biggest matches are the singles title matches that are still incredibly famous today. There’s far less filler than before and the matches have much more solid stories to them.

This show is more famous for its historical aspect than the in ring stuff and that’s just fine. It’s not the best Mania of all time, but it’s up there. Definite recommendation to see this if you never have, or if you just haven’t watched it in awhile, if nothing else just for the history lesson

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Powerrr
Date: March 3, 2020
Location: GPB Studios, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Joe Galli, Stu Bennett

The Crockett Cup is starting to look and that could mean things are starting to pick up. We still have over a month to go before the show but Marty Scurll is coming for the NWA World Title, which could make for a heck of a title match. The tournament is coming up as well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Sean Mooney previews the show, including two title matches.

TV Title: Zicky Dice vs. Ricky Starks

Dice is challenging and takes Starks to the mat without much trouble. Starks gets knocked down again and this time Dice wraps his ribs around the post. Back in and the chinlock doesn’t last long so Dice chokes on the ropes instead. A Falcon Arrow gives Starks two but Dice hits the Snake Rattle and Roll. Starks is in the ropes at two so Dice walks around and points to his head (ironically enough: never a good idea). The Stroke is loaded up, but Dice backdrops him over and sits down for the pin and the title at 5:08.

Rating: C. These short form matches are a clever idea but I’m not sure how long it can actually work. You just can’t do much in a 6:05 time limit, but they are a gimmick for the title and that’s a good thing in theory. Dice winning the title makes sense as he’s getting a big reaction from the crowd almost every week so maybe he’s the next homegrown star.

Before we can get a word from Dice, Thom Latimer comes out to yell at Galli about Kamille speaking next week. It’s going to be like two words isn’t it?

Buy tickets!

We see clips of the Crockett Cup press conference with Scurll and Aldis both promised to win.

The Question Mark and….a Mongrovian ventriloquist dummy talk about the Mongrovian flag.

We look at Trevor Murdoch beating Question Mark but getting beaten down by Mark and Aron Stevens.

Stevens and Mark want the Tag Team Titles so they call out the Rock N Roll Express. Stevens suggests that the Express lay down for a spot in one of his movies, but that’s not happening. They’ll fight next week though.

We look at Kamille attacking Allysin Kay last week and then staring down Thunder Rosa.

Dawsons vs. Caleb Konley/CW Anderson

Texas tornado rules and losers leave town. The Dawsons jump them from behind to start and the fight is on in a hurry. Konley slugs away at Zane and hits a running dropkick in the corner. Dave and Anderson take their place with CW hitting a crossbody for two. The Dawsons clean house and hit a double release suplex for two on Anderson.

A side slam/neckbreaker combination gets the same on Konley but the Dawsons get sent into each other, setting up a middle rope double dropkick from Konley. Dave is back with a splash in the corner and a Boss Man Slam gets two on Anderson. A low bridging sends Dave outside and there’s a suicide dive from Konley. That leaves Anderson to bust Zane’s spine, setting up Konley’s moonsault for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. I’m not sure if the Bouncers are sticking around but if they are, there isn’t much of a point in keeping the Dawsons around. They aren’t the most thrilling team in the world as they come off as the standard big guys team, which isn’t something that you need to have. Anderson is a very established veteran, but Konley could go somewhere around here and that’s a good thing.

We look back at the Pope buying off the Bouncers to jump Eddie Kingston.

Here are May Valentine and Sal Rinauro, the latter of whom is helping her with her new vlog and her new lingerie line. Sal sees his broken arm as his lucky break because he wouldn’t have gotten to me May’s friend. She’s going to shoot an episode of the vlog right here, but here’s Royce Isaacs to go after Rinauro’s good arm. May stops him and leaves with Rinauro.

Pope is fired up and talks about how the Bouncers are going to go win the Tag Team Titles so they can shine like he does. The Beer City Bruiser is ready to win the titles and drink all night long.

Tag Team Titles: Bouncers vs. Eli Drake/James Storm

The Bouncers are challenging with Pope in their corner while Drake and Storm have Eddie Kingston. Drake and Milonas start things off with Eli hurting his back on a slam attempt. Milonas sends him to the apron but Drake comes back in with a slingshot shoulder. That just earns Drake a shot to the face and it’s Bruiser coming in to hammer away. It doesn’t last long though as Storm comes in, only to get taken down as well. Milonas hits a splash and takes his shirt off, which does not seem to please the fans.

Bruiser does his non-existent bite and Milonas comes in to sit on Storm’s chest in the corner. Storm enziguris his way to freedom though and it’s back to Drake for the fast paced house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Storm dives onto Bruiser on the floor. The Bouncers crush Drake with a double standing splash for two but Drake is back in with a sunset bomb to Milonas. A double slam puts Milonas down again and it’s the Last Call into the E-Li-Drake elbow for the pin on Bruiser at 8:39.

Rating: C. The Bouncers are a lot more fun and entertaining as faces but I can go with the whole invaders deal around here. Drake and Storm are good for what they are and it’s not like this show is flush with tag teams in the first place. If nothing else, teasing Kingston vs. Pope is great and I could see that match going down at the Crockett Cup.

Pope runs from Kingston to end the show.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: C+. This show didn’t do much in the ring but they covered a lot of stuff and teased some big moments going forward. Powerrr isn’t the kind of show that is going to be wrestling heavy in the first place and that was clear this week. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad show, but it is so different from anything else. Your individual tastes may vary on it though, which was the case this week.

Results

Zicky Dice b. Ricky Starks – Rollup

Caleb Konley/CW Anderson b. Dawsons – Moonsault to Zane

Eli Drake/James Storm b. Bouncers – Jumping elbow to Bruiser

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Dark
Date: March 3, 2020
Location: Wintrust Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz

So there was an episode of Dark on Friday but where would we be without getting to see the other match that took place before Revolution? Ignoring the big question of why we needed another one aside from having this one match for this show, there are a lot of interviews to go with the single match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Colt Cabana saving SCU from the Dark Order on the pre-show.

Colt Cabana has been friends with the people who run this company and he’s glad to be here, even though he hasn’t signed a contract. If the Dark Order wants to do this, let’s go. He’s got SCU’s backs and the Elite’s backs if they want him.

A fired up Christopher Daniels doesn’t think there is an Exalted One behind the Dark Order. SCU and Cabana are ready to fight the Dark Order. Perhaps in WarGames with the Exalted One as the big final entrant?

Quick look at Nyla Rose retaining the Women’s Title.

Kris Stadtlander is disappointed but she’ll come back a little more down to earth.

We look at the end of Orange Cassidy vs. Pac.

Pac won’t say what his relationship is with the Lucha Bros and AEW is responsible for what happened to Cassidy.

Riho/Yuka Sakazaki vs. Britt Baker/Penelope Ford

Kip Sabian is here with Baker and Ford. Sakazaki and Riho jump them to start, including a jumping knee to put Sabian on the floor. We officially start Baker getting double teamed in the corner until we settle down to Riho vs. Baker. That works a bit better for Baker, who takes Riho into the corner for the tag to Ford. Sakazaki comes in as well for a double elbow to the back and some rolling suplexes to Ford for a bonus.

A Sabian distraction lets Baker stomp Sakazaki and hit her with a suplex for two. Ford hits the handspring elbow and another Sabian distraction lets Baker crush Sakazaki’s head in the corner. A missile dropkick gets Sakazaki out of trouble and it’s back to Riho for the crucifix bomb on Ford. Everything breaks down and Sakazaki dives onto the two of them, setting up Riho’s top rope double stomp for two on Baker. Lockjaw is broken up as Riho counters into a rollup, only to have Sabian turn it back over so Riho has to tap at 7:48.

Rating: C-. Standard tag formula here with Sabian adding the wild card, but the big story here is Baker getting a win over Riho. You don’t see that very often so maybe this is her way of moving up the ladder a little bit. It wasn’t a clean win, but maybe Baker can tie that into cleaning teeth or something like that. Good enough storytelling though and that at least gives this some kind of a reason to exist.

Overall Rating: C-. Yeah this really should have just been added to the pre-show as it was barely a show, running less than twenty minutes. It’s like they had some kind of requirement to put something on tonight instead of just waiting for Dynamite. That makes for a rather pointless show, but the Riho loss might mean something so that helps a little bit.

Results

Penelope Ford/Britt Baker b. Riho/Yuka Sakazaki – Lockjaw to Riho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Dark
Date: February 28, 2020
Location: Silverstein Eye Centers Arena, Kansas City, Missouri|
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz
Hosts: Tony Schiavone, Dasha Gonzalez

This is a bit of a special edition as the show was uploaded on Friday instead of the usual Tuesday due to Revolution on Saturday. Odds are it is going to be the same kind of show as we always see and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. It’s all going to depend on the wrestling, which tends to be the case more often than not. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Sonny Kiss vs. Luther

This could go a lot of ways. Luther goes straight at him with the chops on the ropes, followed by a kick to the face. Choking with the jacket ensues and Luther hits him with the bell…which isn’t a DQ because they really don’t do those things around here. Luther gets some near falls off some suplexes but Sonny kicks him in the face. A cartwheel kick to the ribs in the corner has Luther in more trouble but he powerbombs Sonny down. Luther grabs a camel clutch and pulls at Sonny’s eyes and mouth for the tap at 5:13.

Rating: D. Luther was far from a disaster but getting me to care about a “death match legend” from Japan 20 years ago is a bit of a stretch. Having Luther here as a low level villain isn’t going to hurt anything but the Nightmare Collective stuff was a big waste of everyone’s time. This could have been worse, though it’s nothing I’m needing to see again.

Post match Jimmy Havoc chases Luther off.

Tony and Dasha are excited for Revolution.

Dark Order vs. Michael Nakazawa/Peter Avalon

Before the match, Leva Bates tells Avalon to stop insulting every town they come to and hands him a book called “Don’t Be A D***.” Nakazawa loads up the baby oil but Avalon says no because he doesn’t want comedy. Avalon tags himself in and immediately slips on the oil as we’re in comedy land. Nakazawa comes back in and gets beaten up in the corner but uses more oil to escape a suplex. That’s enough for Avalon though as he walks out, leaving Nakazawa to take the Fatality for the pin at 2:56. This may be the biggest waste of time I’ve seen in a good many years.

Video on Cody vs. MJF.

Here’s where AEW is coming.

Britt Baker vs. Miranda Alize

Alize was on Impact last week. Baker takes her down by the arm to start but it’s way too early for Lockjaw. Alize can’t escape so it’s a forearm to the face. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Baker chokes away in the corner, followed by a kick to the jaw. A fisherman’s neckbreaker and the reverse Sling Blade set up the Lockjaw to finish Alize at 5:13.

Rating: C-. Just an extended squash for Baker here and that’s fine. It seems like she has been waiting to jump up to the next level for months now and it has just never clicked. You could still see it happening, but I’m not sure when it will. Alize didn’t get to showcase herself much here but she has potential if she ever gets a chance.

Brandon Cutler/Shawn Spears vs. Private Party

Hold on though as Private Party needs to throw their beads into the crowd. Cutler and Kassidy start things off and they take turns missing each other. Quen misses a running enziguri and all three try dropkicks for another standoff. Spears comes in for a chop but gets pulled into the corner so Quen can sunset flip Kassidy into a moonsault press for two.

It’s back to Cutler, who springboards in with a forearm to Kassidy so Spears can hammer away in the corner. The spinebuster plants Kassidy and Spears drops him onto the apron for a bonus. A legdrop gives Cutler two but Kassidy is back with an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Quen. The sitout bulldog/faceplant combination puts Spears/Cutler down, meaning Spears is ready to leave. Gin and Juice finishes Cutler at 9:24.

Rating: C. Just a match for the most part and the same ending that we’ve seen from Spears before. The Tully Blanchard Search For The Perfect Partner story is getting old in a hurry, mainly because Spears has been turned into one of the least important people in the company. And that’s how they’re using Blanchard?

Tony and Dasha say goodbye. Their importance on this show is waning every week.

Overall Rating: D+. This is such a strange show and it rarely goes outside of its comfort zone. That being said, the show is far from terrible and they get a lot of talent in the ring. It’s better than having them sit on the sidelines as they’re being kept warm for later if necessary. The show wasn’t great this week but it served its purpose well enough, even if that purpose isn’t the most important for AEW.

Results

Luther b. Sonny Kiss – Camel clutch

Dark Order b. Michael Nakazawa/Peter Avalon – Fatality to Nakazawa

Britt Baker b. Miranda Alize – Lockjaw

Private Party b. Brandon Cutler/Shawn Spears – Gin and Juice to Cutler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 2, 2020
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler, Tom Phillips

This is a weird one as it’s the fallout show from Super ShowDown as well as the go home show for Elimination Chamber. Hopefully we get more for the latter than the former as Elimination Chamber is hardly looking like a strong show at the moment. I’m not sure what we are going to see added but they need to do a lot of it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar to get things going. Heyman does his usual shtick and then says he can’t do this. It’s their job to make you interested in Wrestlemania and yes, this year’s card looks like the best in years. The problem is the main event, which is a sham. Drew McIntyre is overhyped, because he eliminated Lesnar from the Royal Rumble with the help of a low blow from Ricochet.

There is no reason to believe that McIntyre can pin or submit Lesnar because the next time Lesnar sees McIntyre or gets his hands on him…and here’s McIntyre. Before Drew can say anything, Lesnar teases leaving but then charges at him, only to get his head kicked off with the Claymore.

McIntyre leaves and the fans sing goodbye to Brock, who is having trouble standing after the kick. Brock staggers up the ramp and here’s McIntyre to take him down with another Claymore and pose with the title. The fans want one more so McIntyre delivers and Lesnar is out cold. You don’t see someone take Lesnar down like that every day so well done.

Here are the Street Profits and sweet goodness they are over in Brooklyn, with the red solo cups in the crowd being a nice touch. Tonight is their last chance at the Raw Tag Team Titles and they want the smoke.

Tag Team Titles: Street Profits vs. Murphy/Seth Rollins

Murphy and Rollins are defending and have the AOP with them. The champs jump the Profits to start and the fight is on as we take an early break. Joined in progress with Dawkins fighting up and bringing Ford in for a very high springboard crossbody to bot champs. Rollins takes Ford down with a Sling Blade and a buckle bomb into an enziguri gets two.

Dawkins gets sent into the post but another buckle bomb/enziguri combination sees Murphy kick Rollins by mistake. With Murphy sent outside, Ford goes up but Rollins shoves him down. Rollins calls the AOP down but they get ejected in a hurry. As the referee is with the AOP, Kevin Owens sneaks in for a Stunner on Rollins, setting up the frog splash to give Ford the pin at 5:04 shown.

Rating: C+. That was a surprise as even with the stipulation, I wouldn’t have bet on the title change. At some point you need to just give the fans something to cheer about and that’s what happened here. Odds are we’re going to be seeing Owens vs. Rollins at Wrestlemania in some form and if that’s the big win for Owens, Rollins doesn’t need a title at the time. Let the Profits win here and see what they can do with the titles for a change.

Post break, Rollins is livid and demands a rematch at Elimination Chamber. They’ll deal with Owens later, and Owens can make all the rules for whenever Rollins gets his hands on him. Murphy does not seem pleased with the whole thing.

24/7 Title: Ricochet vs. Riddick Moss

Moss is defending and takes Ricochet down with the early power. Ricochet gets sent outside and we take an early break. Back with Ricochet slugging away and kicking Moss down so the standing shooting star can get two. The superkick is blocked and Moss grabs a neckbreaker (with Moss falling forward instead of laying out) for the clean pin at 8:29.

Rating: D+. That’s a much bigger surprise than the opener and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. I’m not big on seeing Ricochet lose twice in a row but at the same time, I’m glad that he isn’t stuck in the 24/7 mess. Also, as meaningless as it is in the grand scheme of things, WWE is giving Moss a chance to do something so points for giving someone a shot, which is what they’ve been trying to do more of lately.

Here’s AJ Styles for his match against Aleister Black but first, AJ complains about Undertaker attacking him. He’s not in a good mood because even Hollywood is telling him to run from the Undertaker. We see a video of Mark Wahlberg saying AJ should give up, and AJ isn’t happy with Marky Mark giving him advice. Tonight AJ has Aleister Black and he hopes Undertaker is paying attention.

Aleister Black vs. AJ Styles

The Good Brothers are here, but hold on because AJ has a clause in the contract: to get to AJ, Black has to beat Karl Anderson.

Aleister Black vs. Karl Anderson

Black sends him to the floor to start and baseball slides Gallows. A kick to the head drops Anderson and Black stares AJ down as we take a break. Back with Black fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the standing Lionsault. Black Mass ends Anderson at 5:43. Not enough shown to rate and it’s not like anything but Black Mass matters.

I’m not even going to bother putting AJ vs. Black here because you know what’s coming.

Aleister Black vs. Luke Gallows

Gallows jumps Black before the bell and wins an exchange of kicks to the head. Some elbows to the chest set up the chinlock but Black fights up with some knees to the ribs. Black gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with Black fighting out of a chinlock (same sequence going into and coming out of the break in both matches) and striking away. Gallows stomps him down in the corner and that’s a DQ at 5:32. Again not enough shown to rate but it’s the old “beat X to face Y trope”, with the real match likely coming on Sunday.

Post match Black takes the Magic Killer and NOW AJ is ready to go.

AJ Styles vs. Aleister Black

AJ kicks away at the tired Black but Black kicks him in the head. That earns him a backbreaker and a brainbuster as AJ is all fired up. The Phenomenal Forearm, with an Undertaker pin, finishes Black at 2:30.

Ruby Riott is only responsible for herself these days and on Sunday, she’ll prove she is ready to strike whenever she pleases. There are no friends inside the Elimination Chamber.

Liv Morgan vs. Ruby Riott

Sarah Logan is guest referee. Liv drives Ruby into the corner to start and slugs away, setting up a springboard dropkick. An armbar has Ruby in more trouble until she makes a rope. Ruby is right back with a cravate and some stomping in the corner, though Logan drags her away. Liv slugs away until a Downward Spiral gives Ruby two. The kickout knocks Ruby into Logan, who comes up favoring her shoulder. Ruby’s forearm gets a slightly delayed two so she yells at and then shoves Logan. Liv uses the distract to grab a rollup for a fast counted pin at 4:39.

Rating: D. Points for trying to do something to hide the fact that Shayna Baszler is the most obvious Elimination Chamber winner ever but this isn’t exactly a thrilling way to go. The Riott Squad wasn’t the most successful or thrilling story in the world, though to be fair the Raw Women’s division needs some fresh names and Riott seems like a possibility if they can build her back up.

Post match Logan shoves Ruby down so Liv can enziguri Ruby, only to get kneed in the face by Logan.

Long recap of Edge returning but getting destroyed by Randy Orton the next night.

No Way Jose and the Conga Line ask what is in Erick Rowan’s cage. Rowan actually agrees to show them so he takes it out of the cage and it’s a HUGE spider, which sends everyone running away. I’m kind of surprised by them actually paying it off, but a spider? That’s all they could come up with?

We look back at the McIntyre/Lesnar segment.

Kairi Sane vs. Shayna Baszler

This was originally going to be Asuka (here with Sane) but she was injured so the match was changed. Shayna misses a kick to the head to start so she cranks on the arm and spins Sane’s hand around for a little twist. A headscissors puts Shayna down but the sliding forearm is countered into another armbar. Shayna grabs a spinebuster and stomps on the leg, followed by a hard whip into the post.

Back in and Sane’s come back is cut off with a kick to the face, followed by another pull on the leg. Asuka offers a distraction so Sane can get two off a rollup, only to have Baszler kick her in the head. Cue Becky Lynch in a yellow coat to stare Shayna down as we take a break. Back with Becky on commentary (and wearing Lawler’s crown) and Sane hitting a DDT. Shayna is right back with a gutwrench superplex for two but Sane kicks her down, only to have the Insane Elbow blocked with raised boots (OUCH). The Kirifuda Clutch finishes Sane at 12:45.

Rating: D+. This really missed and I’m not sure why. The way the match went, it felt like it should have been about four minutes long and then just kept going. The other problem is, as has been the case for weeks now, there is no reason to believe that Shayna isn’t winning on Sunday and there’s no hiding it. It makes the matches, including the Elimination Chamber, feel like we’re wasting our time and that gets old in a hurry.

Post match Shayna chokes Sane out again.

Rey Mysterio and Humberto Carrillo are ready to finish Angel Garza and Andrade.

Andrade/Angel Garza vs. Humberto Carrillo/Rey Mysterio

Carrillo chops at Andrade to start so Andrade bails to the floor in a hurry. Mysterio doesn’t want to wait and tries a hurricanrana off the apron, earning himself a whip into the barricade. A double backdrop puts Carrillo down but he’s back with the springboard armdrag. The springboard crossbody gets two on Andrade so Garza tries to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS, only to have Carrillo whip him in and TAKE OFF THE PANTS FOR HIM.

A big dive to the floor takes out Andrade and we take a break. Back with Garza pulling Carrillo off the apron for a face first crash onto the apron. Garza’s abdominal stretch is broken up and an enziguri allows the tag to Rey. A heck of a tornado DDT plants Andrade for two but Carrillo’s big dive hits the barricade and we take another break. Back again with Rey kicking Andrade to the floor but Garza blocks the 619.

Rey doesn’t minds as a Canadian Destroyer gives him two, only to have Andrade elbow him in the head. The Eddie Guerrero dance looks to set up the Three Amigos but Carrillo breaks it up with a missile dropkick. Andrade’s running knees in the corner get two on Carrillo with Rey making the save. A hurricanrana to Andrade sets up a double 619 and there’s a hurricanrana to put Garza on the floor. Carrillo moonsaults Andrade for the pin at 19:10.

Rating: C-. This felt even longer than it was as this feud has lost any momentum it ever had. It feels like they’re just continuing with it for the sake of continuing with it because Andrade’s suspension threw everything off. I’m sure they want to go with Carrillo as champion sooner or later but it’s not exactly a thrilling way to get there.

Here’s Beth Phoenix for the medical update on Edge. Before she can get anywhere though, it’s Randy Orton interrupting to offer her a hug and a handshake. Those aren’t happening so Orton sits on the top, only to cut her off again. Orton talks about going to a show in 1999 when he was 19 years old with his dad Bob Orton introducing him to agents Tony Garea and Jack Lanza. Orton was just a fan back then and couldn’t believe that he was seeing all of these stars.

Edge was the only wrestler to come up and shake his dad’s hand though and Randy was so proud. Bob introduced the two of them and Edge said maybe one day they could work together. That gave Orton some confidence and just a few years later, they were fighting for the Intercontinental Title and stealing the show every night. Then they came together as Rated RKO and won the Tag Team Titles.

Orton started making some bad decisions though and got himself into a hole that he shouldn’t have been able to get out of. He was able to be there for his family though and now he wants Edge to be able to do the same thing for their daughters. Everyone has blamed Orton for what he did but it wasn’t Orton’s fault at all. It’s Beth’s fault because she has enabled Edge, who is a junkie for the roar of the crowd.

Beth did nothing to stop him so Orton had to stop him so Edge could be a husband and father. Orton has realized that he loves Edge’s kids and Edge more than Beth ever could. Beth finally slaps him and it’s an RKO to drop her, with Orton immediately storming off. A bunch of referees and wrestlers come down to check on her to end the show. There’s your other big incentive for Edge to come back and the fiery promo should be great. Orton’s explanation was good and fits his rather crazy outlook on things, which is all you need most of the time.

Overall Rating: D. This show started off well and then came crashing down after about forty minutes. I lost any and all interest in this thing and was looking for anything to draw me in. The wrestling was fine enough and they set some things up but egads they did everything they could to make me stop caring. More than one thing felt like it went on forever and you could feel every minute of the three hours. I know I’ve said it time and time again but Elimination Chamber could not feel less important and that makes the TV shows building towards it that worse. Just not a good show and it kept getting worse.

Results

Street Profits b. Murphy/Seth Rollins – Frog splash to Rollins

Riddick Moss b. Ricochet – Neckbreaker

Aleister Black b. Karl Anderson – Black Mass

Aleister Black b. Luke Gallows via DQ when Gallows attacked in the corner

AJ Styles b. Aleister Black – Phenomenal Forearm

Liv Morgan b. Ruby Riott – Rollup with a fast count

Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch

Humberto Carrillo/Rey Mysterio b. Andrade/Angel Garza – Moonsault to Andrade

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

This is basically three miniature shows combined into one big card. Each city would have its live action and then they would get to watch the shows from the other cities. It’s not the best idea in the world but like I said, there’s only so much they can do with the position they’re in. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

Roddy Piper is ready for his boxing match and has trainer Lou Duva (who trained names such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield) in his corner. Piper says he’ll quit everything from wrestling to tiddlywinks to dating girls if Mr. T. can knock him out. He won’t quite Bob Orton of course. However, even if Mr. T. knocks him out, he’ll never, and I quote, “shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black.”

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Muraco is a heel technician who was a very good hand in the ring. This is fallout from last year as Orndorff took the fall in the main event and Piper has sent Muraco to get some revenge. They trade slams to start and the crowd is already white hot. Orndorff is nice enough to make a slant eyes gesture at Muraco’s manager Mr. Fuji. Orndorff takes him down again as Susan St. James (an actress) is staying with this on commentary but clearly has almost no idea who these people are.

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Rating: D. This had no time to go anywhere and I have no idea who thought this was the right way to open a show. I mean, it’s Wrestlemania. It’s ok to actually have a fall here instead of trying to set something up for later. The match wasn’t even any good and that’s not how you want to set the tone for one of the biggest shows of the year.

Mr. T. says he’s fighting for his friend the Haiti Kid, whose hair was cut by Piper and Orton. Fink’s announcement of the double countout drowns out a lot of his words.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Steele, a crazy bald man with an incredibly hairy torso, is challenging and is totally in love with Savage’s manager Elizabeth. Savage debuted last year and has taken the company by storm, including taking the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana earlier in the year. Randy goes to the floor to start before running again from Steele’s waving arms. He runs again and we’re waiting on the first contact nearly a minute in.

Savage isn’t fast enough this time though and George bites his leg as the champion tries to get back inside. Back in and Steele looks at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to hit him in the back and get two off a high cross body. That’s not a move you often see from Savage. Steele throws him to the floor so the champ crawls under the ring and comes around to the other side for a knee to George’s back. That’s fine with George as he bites Savage’s arm and takes over again.

Randy bails to the floor and finds a bouquet of flowers but George shoves them in his face. This is a really uneven comedy match so far and it gets even worse as Steele goes to eat a turnbuckle but opts to shove the stuffing in Savage’s face instead. Steele goes after Elizabeth at ringside, allowing Randy to ax handle him off the apron. Back in and the top rope elbow gets…..two? That’s a very, very rare kickout but it doesn’t matter as Savage rolls him up and throws his feet on the ropes to retain at 7:08.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is another newcomer and this is the high point of Wells’ career. George grabs a quick backdrop to start and Jake can barely stand up. They head outside (notice Jake sliding out like a snake) for more punishment to Jake, followed by a nice flying shoulder from George (ex-pro football player) back inside. Wells knocks him into the ropes but opts not to cover. A good looking powerslam gets two on Jake but he comes back with a thumb to the eye. Jake slides to the floor and gets George to chase him back inside, setting up the DDT for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. This is probably the best match of the night so far and it’s just a step above a regular TV match. Jake was clearly going to be something interesting long term but he was still establishing himself at this point. Well could have been any given warm body here and that’s still a normal spot to have on these early Wrestlemanias.

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper, which started up again after Mr. T. won a boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper wanted to fight him next but Bob Orton helped Piper beat him down instead.

Out in Los Angeles, Hulk Hogan is ready for King Kong Bundy in the cage because he doesn’t like people who take shortcuts. This show is all over the place so far.

We introduce the celebrities for the boxing match. Comedienne Joan Rivers is guest ring announcer and introduces NBA star Darryl Dawkins, singer Cab Calloway and Watergate participant G. Gordon Liddy. Herbert, a character in Burger King commercials at the time, is guest timekeeper. There are no words to describe the drop from Liberace, Billy Martin and Muhammad Ali to…..this.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Boxing match. Piper has Lou Duva as his trainer and Mr. T. has Joe Frazier. They circle each other to start with Mr. T. hiding behind his gloves and bobbing away from Piper’s punches. The referee keeps having to break up their brawls against the ropes and not a lot has happened so far. Both guys get in a few quick flurries before the first round wraps up.

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Between rounds, Orton throws water at Mr. T. in the corner because he’s a villain like that. Mr. T. starts the round well as he basically shoves Piper down into the corner with some punches thrown in as bonuses. Roddy is up at eight so they shove each other, followed by a big left that clearly barely made contact but knocks Piper all the way out to the floor anyway. Back up and the round ends with little else happening.

Piper throws his stool at Mr. T. to start round four and they stand there trading bombs for a bit. Piper starts getting the better of it including a huge right hand that knocks out Mr. T.’s mouthpiece. Mr. T. does the same as St. James wants this to stop. As do the fans now as they’re cheering for Piper. With nothing else working, Piper slams Mr. T. down and it’s a DQ because of course it is.

Rating: D+. As fake as the punches clearly were, this was actually pretty entertaining at times due to how hard they were hitting each other. On top of that, I’ll take this over Mr. T. trying to wrestle again because that could have been an even bigger disaster. This was your standard boxing match on a wrestling show and that’s all they could have done here.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending. McIntyre is an Irish wrestler who was one of the more popular women in the division in the 80s. Moolah hair drags her around to start but McIntyre comes back with some one footed dropkicks. Velvet misses a middle rope splash though and Moolah gets the pin at 59 seconds. It’s not entirely clear why this ended so fast but Velvet’s top might have snapped on that landing. You can definitely see Velvet adjusting her top which looks very loose. She gets out of the ring very quickly as well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

This is a flag match meaning the winner gets to wave his country’s flag. Kirchner is considered one of wrestling’s all time toughest guys and would wind up wrestling in Japan under the name Leatherface. Volkoff throws him to the floor to start and posts the Corporal before biting his forehead. Back in and Kirchner hammers away (with the ring being VERY loud for some reason, as it was back in the same arena at the Wrestling Classic) but the referee goes down. With the distraction, Volkoff’s manager Freddie Blassie throws in his cane, only to have Kirchner intercept it and knock Volkoff out for the pin at 1:35.

Gene Okerlund does the ring introductions for the battle royal. This match has its own celebrities with Clara Peller (starred in Wendy’s ads) as timekeeper and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus and Dallas Cowboy Too Tall Jones as guest referees.

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

I’m not going to bother listing off who most of these wrestlers are because most of them aren’t going to mean a thing here. As you can see, the NFL players are a bit outnumbered. Ernie Ladd, former football star and future WWE Hall of Famer, joins commentary in a smart move. It’s a wild brawl to start as is often the case in a battle royal. Covert saves Perry from elimination but is put out along with King Tonga a few seconds later.

Francis thinks it’s a good idea to go after Andre and only barely slides back in from the apron. Bruno dumps Holmes out and it’s Andre vs. Studd to a nice reaction. Someone eliminates Brunzell and the ring is starting to clean out a bit. Perry tosses Atlas to a BIG pop and then goes to fight with Studd. Morales and Martin go out at the same time and nearly get in a fight at ringside.

Arcidi is put out and Spivey is gone a few seconds later. There go Hillbilly Jim and Blair, followed by Fralic a few seconds later. Sammartino throws out the Sheik and we’re down to Andre, Francis, Studd, Sammartino, Hart, Neidhart and Perry. Things can finally slow down after several minutes of just random eliminations. Studd tosses Bruno and actually puts Andre down in the corner.

Perry EXPLODES at the Hart Foundation and knocks them out to the apron. The fans are all excited but Perry charges into Studd’s elbow and gets hiptossed out. Perry offers a handshake but suckers Studd in by pulling him out to the floor to get the people going all over again. Francis tries to fight the Harts by himself but eats a headbutt from Andre. A double dropkick ties Andre up in the ropes and Francis is easily tossed out.

So it’s Andre, Neidhart and Hart and I don’t see this going well for the normal sized guys. Andre kicks both of them out of the corner, grabs Neidhart by the beard, kicks him in the face and puts him out. Bret tries to come in off the top and gets tossed out with ease to give Andre the win at 9:03.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine and are defending. The Bulldogs are Davey Boy Smith (also known as the British Bulldog) and Dynamite Kid, who are managed by Lou Albano and have Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for no apparent reason. Even Gorilla doesn’t seem to know why he’s out there. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey cranking on the arm.

It’s quickly off to Dynamite as things speed up, including a big shoulder to knock Valentine into the corner. Greg comes back with a suplex but Smith comes in to scare Valentine out to the floor. Back in and Valentin gets in a headbutt to the ribs and tags out to Beefcake for the first time. Beefcake is quickly press slammed and it’s back to Dynamite for a hard clothesline.

Brutus finally drags Davey off to the corner and makes the tag off to Greg, who comes in off the top with a forearm to the back. That’s some good heel tag team work and it’s as successful as always. Dynamite comes in anyway though and it’s time for some hard forearms and shoulders in the corner. A backbreaker gets two on Valentine with Brutus having to make the save. It’s not often that you see a tag match stay even this long but this was before the Rock and Roll Express vs. Midnight Express had created the classic tag team formula.

Valentine comes back with a piledriver (where he picked him up for a traditional version but kneeled forward like a tombstone) for two but he crotches himself on the Kid’s knees. Everything breaks down and the powerslam plants Valentine for two. Davey misses a charge into the post though and the champs start in on the arm.

A hammerlock slam and a top rope elbow onto the shoulder have Davey in even more trouble and Valentine gets two off a shoulder breaker. For some reason he pulls Smith up at two and Okerlund thinks it’s going to come back and haunt him. As he says this, Dynamite gets on the middle rope and sticks his head out. Smith rams Valentine head first into the Kid’s head, knocking Dynamite down onto the floor but knocking Greg out cold for the pin and the titles at 12:03.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Albano and Osbourne celebrate as the Bulldogs remember what planet they’re on. Kid can’t talk or stand as he’s still recovering from having being knocked off the middle rope and down onto the floor with no one to catch him. That’s a scary bump and it’s no shock that his body gave out on him so soon after this.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hernandez is better known simply as Hercules and is a big power guy as you would expect. Hercules jumps him from behind to start but Ricky comes back with a big chop. It’s time for the armdrags from Steamboat and he cranks on an armbar as is so often his custom. Back up and an elbow to the jaw drops Hercules and it’s off to the arm again. Hercules finally realizes that his name is Hercules and clotheslines Ricky’s head off before driving some hard knees into the side of his head.

There’s a Stun Gun for no cover as Elvira is proving to be the most worthless commentator of all time as she just babbles about how she’s never seen anything like this before. Hercules returns the back elbow to the jaw and gorilla presses Ricky twice in a row. Ricky raises his knees to stop a top rope splash (way out of character for Hercules) and finishes with the high cross body at 7:34.

Rating: D+. This was a standard power vs. speed match which could have been worse but still wasn’t anything worth seeing. Hernandez was a one dimensional wrestler which made him a good foil for someone like Steamboat who could mix up his offense enough to figure out a way around the power. It’s a fine match but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is a flamboyant guy in a pink dress and make-up while Elmer is a 400+lb hillbilly. They’re not exactly going with the high brow ideas here. Elmer attacks to start and sends Adrian to the floor with a single forearm. Adrian rips the ring skirt off and manager Jimmy Hart is beside himself. Elmer pulls Adonis to the apron and starts ripping off the dress. You knew they were going here eventually. A big punch to Elmer’s chest puts him down and Adonis takes off the dress to reveal regular trunks. Elmer comes back with a corner splash but he misses a legdrop, allowing Adonis to drop a top rope headbutt/splash for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: F. This is the kind of stuff I can’t stand in wrestling. Adonis and Elmer are two of the most basic, stereotypical characters they could have put together and it looks stupid. This catered to the lowest common denominator and that’s never the kind of wrestling you want to have. It doesn’t help that the match was awful.

Adonis puts a bow on Elmer’s back.

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The Funks are Terry/Hoss (better known as Dory Jr.) and they’re managed by Jimmy Hart. Dog and Hoss get things going but Terry is quickly dragged inside so Dog can slam both brothers. Things settle down to Tito vs. Terry but both Funks are quickly dropkicked out to the floor. Back in again and it’s Dog ramming Terry’s face into the buckle several times as this has been one sided so far. It’s off to Dory vs. Tito with the Funks finally taking over but Tito comes back with the flying forearm for two.

Terry sends him out to the floor for some stomps from Hart and Elvira rants about how Hart needs to be ejected, sounding like someone who has never watched wrestling in her life. Back in and Tito reverses a suplex into one of his own as Elvira wants some trunks ripped off. Terry misses a legdrop and it’s off to the Dog for more headbutts. House is cleaned and Terry gets backdropped over the top. Dog slams him onto a table and busts up Terry’s leg. Everything breaks down and Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with the Funks working very well together against the always entertaining Tito and the always charismatic Dog. It seemed that they were setting the Funks up as a potential challenge to the Bulldogs but they wouldn’t be around long. This was a nice tag match though and one of the best things on the card.

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

To fill in some more time, we see King Kong Bundy attacking Hogan on a Saturday Night’s Main Event and injuring the champ’s ribs to set this up. It’s really not much of a storyline and it was only set up about a month in advance. With the talent they had on the roster (Savage, Roberts and Piper), this really is a questionable opponent for Hogan.

The doctor has recommended that Hogan doesn’t wrestle. As his ribs are being taped, Hogan puts a 100lb dumbbell around his neck and does chin-ups.

Bobby Heenan talks about how important a day this is for him because he’s going to get to pack the World Title in Bundy’s suitcase tonight. Bundy promises to send Hogan to the hospital all over again.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

Time for the celebrities. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is guest ring announcer, actor Ricky Schroder is timekeeper and Robert Conrad is outside referee, meaning he won’t be doing much of anything.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan is defending inside a cage (the big blue one in one of its earliest, if not the earliest, appearances) of course. Big pop for the champ as you would expect. They slug it out to start with Hogan knocking him into the ropes and nailing the big boot early on. This has already gone on longer than Bundy’s match last year. Hogan fires off a forearm in the corner which I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use before.

Bundy can’t ram him into the cage so he FINALLY goes after the taped up ribs. He slams Hogan to the mat and steps on his head as we go to an overhead shot. Hulk has to dive across the ring to keep Bundy from getting out so Bundy rams him back first into the cage. There goes the tape and Elvira is happy about more clothes coming off. Bundy chokes with the tape. Elvira: “He can’t do that can he?” Ventura is clearly getting annoyed at having to explain basic concepts like “there are no rules” to her over and over.

Hogan comes back with more right hands and sends Bundy face first into the cage to bust him open. Bundy gets choked on the ropes but Hogan, ever the moron, falls backwards trying a slam. That’s still not enough though as Hogan chokes with the tape, only to eat the big splashes that busted up the ribs in the first place.

We get the Hogan “fish out of the water” shaking but he still gets over to save the title again. Hogan gets all fired up again and powerslams Bundy (that’s very rare as it’s almost always a regular slam) before kicking him out of the corner. Heenan’s save fails miserable and Hogan climbs down (Elvira: “All right he’s gonna win!”) to retain at 10:18.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good match and Elvira made it insufferable but Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s is as much of a layup as you’re going to find in these early years. Bundy might have been considered a bigger threat back in the day but this felt like any given house show loop and a match that these two probably had a few dozen times around the country.

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: this is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. That being said, I always give this one a bit of a pass as they had no idea what they had with Wrestlemania or even pay per view in general. This felt like a bunch of house shows clipped down and edited together into one big one and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. Hogan vs. Bundy is a very run of the mill main event but some of the tag matches are entertaining enough. The match is far more dull and lame than bad, but that doesn’t make it something fun to watch.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.

Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.

Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.

T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.

The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.

Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.

Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.

Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.

Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.

Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.

We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.

Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.

Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: C+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live
Date: February 28, 2020
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Joe Quasto, Aiden English

It’s time for a special edition of the show, and by that I mean one that was taped before Smackdown went on the air. My guess is that this is just due to the travel situation because it would make too much sense to do this regularly. We’re coming up on the big ten man tag match so maybe we have something good here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raul Mendoza vs. Joaquin Wilde

Rematch from last week when Mendoza won to even their series. Mendoza hits a running dropkick for an early one and we’re already in the armbar. That’s switched to a cobra clutch but Wilde fights up and gets in a powerbomb off the ropes. Wilde sends him outside for a flip dive, followed by a kick to the chest for two back inside.

They fight on the corner with Mendoza saying that Wilde isn’t better than him, earning himself a super hurricanrana for two. Mendoza snaps off a Spanish Fly for his own two and a pumphandle driver is good for the same. The Wilde Thing is countered so Wilde gets two off a backslide before ducking Mendoza’s running kick to the chest. Mendoza knees him in the face but a bottom rope Lionsault hits knees. The Wilde Thing into a rollup finishes Mendoza at 8:12.

Rating: C+. These two have good chemistry together and that’s what matters. It’s a fun, fast paced match and after weeks of the Singhs and Ariya Daivari having the same boring matches week after week, this is a huge upgrade. Now do something with them and send them to other stories around here so they can stay fresh. That’s how you build something from scratch, which is what they need to do around here.

Here are the teams for the elimination tag in two weeks:

Team NXT: Lio Rush (Captain), Tyler Breeze, Isaiah Scott, Danny Burch, Oney Lorcan

Team 205 Live: Tony Nese (Captain), Mike Kanellis, Jack Gallagher, Brian Kendrick, Ariya Daivari

Lio Rush vs. Tony Nese

Mike Kanellis is here with Nese. Hold on as Nese needs to pose at the bell. That’s not cool with Rush, who hammers away but gets taken into the corner by straight power. Rush hammers away and grabs a springboard hurricanrana, only to get kicked in the face. Nese gets sent outside and it’s a springboard flip dive to take him down. Back in and Nese hits a fireman’s carry gutbuster and grabs a bodyscissors but Rush is back with a rollup for two.

Nese kicks him down again and hits a Lionsault for two of his own. Rush knocks him off the top for a high crossbody but Nese spinwheel kicks him down. A backbreaker sets up a Boston crab to put Rush in more trouble so he grabs a rope. Kanellis’ distraction doesn’t work so Rush hits the springboard Stunner, drawing in Kanellis for the DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Another good back and forth match here to help set up the big tag. As usual, it’s a good idea to have a match like this end in a DQ so you don’t put one of the wrestlers at a disadvantage going into the elimination tag. Rush continues to show off very well in matches like this because he can move in a way that no one else can. Good match here, and the ending sets up more stuff in the future.

Post match the beatdown is on but Danny Burch and Oney Lorcan come out for the save. The four of them brawl to the back, leaving Rush alone. This brings out the returning Jack Gallagher to beat Rush down and plant him with a headbutt. Gallagher takes off his tracksuit to reveal a bunch of tattoos, making him look a bit like Conor McGregor.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a big upgrade over recent weeks for the simple reason that there was a focus. There was a point to the show and it felt like they were building to something for a change. I can go for that after weeks of lackluster shows and matches that meant nothing. This show was also about fifteen minutes shorter than the usual edition and it helped a lot. I don’t think that’s going go be the case going forward, but it’s nice for a one off show.

Results

Joaquin Wilde b. Raul Mendoza – Wilde Thing

Lio Rush b. Tony Nese via DQ when Mike Kanellis interfered

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