It’s Clobberin Time
So this happened.
IMG Credit: WWE
I’m not sure where this is going to go and I’m not sure if he is going to wrestle again, but my goodness it was a moment to hear that music again.
Dark – November 8, 2019: The Smartest Thing I’ve Seen Them Do
IMG Credit: All Elite Wrestling
Dark
Date: November 8, 2019
Location: Bojangles Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Goldenboy, Excalibur, Arn Anderson
Hosts: Tony Schiavone, Dasha Gonzales
It’s a special Friday edition of the show as they want to get it out as a preview for Saturday’s Full Gear. That makes a lot of sense and it’s something that they should be doing in cases like this. I’m not expecting it to be much different, though at least it’s a bit shorter this week. Let’s get to
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Tony and Dasha welcome us to the show
Justin Roberts introduces Arn Anderson for commentary. Well if you insist.
Big Swole vs. Hikaru Shida
Shida takes her up against the rope to start and it’s an early clean break. Swole’s shoulder puts her down and it’s time to run the ropes until Shida kicks her down, setting up the running basement dropkick. A running knee to the face makes it worse and another one, this time off a chair, has Swole down again.
Back in and we hit the half crab on Swole, followed by another running knee for two more. Swole comes back with a headbutt into a Flatliner for her own two. Shida grabs a fireman’s carry backbreaker but another running knee is countered into a rollup. Just to mix it up, a running knee finishes Swole at 7:08.
Rating: C-. Sweet goodness that was a lot of knees. I know it’s more realistic, but that doesn’t make it more interesting. Shida used half a dozen running knees here and they got a little old pretty quickly. Swole hasn’t shown me much but she hasn’t gotten a promo or really anything more than a supporting role so you can’t take much away from that.
Post match Shida is happy to bring Japanese strong style and wants the winner of the Women’s Title match. That alone is more than I’ve heard from most of the women and it was a nice little step forward for her.
Chuck Taylor has replaced Arn on commentary. Lucky us.
Shazza McKenzie/Shalandra Royal vs. Leva Bates/Nyla Rose
There is something interesting about these completely random teams. Nyla runs Shazza over to start so Royal comes in…for a dropkick that has no effect. A slam into the nerve hold doesn’t keep Royal down very long so Rose suplexes both of them at the same time. There’s a double chokeslam for a bonus, followed by a regular suplex to Shazza for two, with Rose picking her up. Royal gets tagged in despite trying to run away, meaning Rose drags her back in. A double Samoan drop sets up a Swanton to both at once for the double pin at 6:57. Leva was never in the match.
Rating: C. Now that is how you make someone look like a star. Commentary mentioned that Rose wanted to do this one by herself and that is exactly what we got here, with her running through both of them like they weren’t even there. Rose needs to be rebuilt after losing to Riho and that is exactly what happened. I loved the booking here and Rose looked like a killer.
Rose says she didn’t tag Bates in because she didn’t have to. She has been disrespected around here so she’s going to disrespect the locker room, one by one. Or two by one as she did tonight.
Full Gear rundown.
We look back at Cody announcing that if he loses, he will never challenge for the World Title again.
Video on Cody vs. Jericho and how serious Cody is taking things. It’s a cross between remarkable and frustrating that they can do this but so many of the other stories get almost nothing.
SCU/Cima vs. Hybrid Two/Kip Sabian
Cima hammerlocks Angelico down to start as we hear about the two of them being trained/inspired by Ultimo Dragon. Angelico reverses into an armbar of his own but Cima is up with a running dropkick. Evans and Sabian are knocked off the apron and it’s Kazarian coming in for an armbar to put Evans down.
It’s off to Sabian, who gets kicked and clotheslined down in a hurry as SCU is on a roll to start. Sky’s slingshot splash gets two and it’s Kazarian slingshotting in with a legdrop. Sabian rakes Sky in the eyes though and it’s a big boot from Evans to really take over. A faceplant sets up some stomping in the corner as the villains take turns on Sky. The front facelock keeps Sky in trouble but he kicks Evans away and makes the hot tag to Cima.
That means a bunch of running knees (a theme tonight), followed by a springboard knee to both of the Two. They don’t stay down long and it’s an elbow/belly to back suplex combination, followed by an assisted 450 for two on Cima. Back up and Cima suplexes Evans for two more with Sabian making the save. Kazarian comes back in with a missile dropkick and Cima’s top rope Meteora finishes Sabian at 12:27.
Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill formula six man and that was just fine given the talent in there. Cima has been an excellent substitute member of the team and I could go for seeing more of him in a prominent role. Daniels isn’t going to be around forever, and while Cima might not be the best full time replacement, he works very well for the time being.
One more Full Gear ad takes us out.
Overall Rating: C. This felt like a middle of the road show that was designed to make me watch Full Gear. That being said, it didn’t really add anything and was more along the lines of an extended advertisement. The show was about fifteen minutes shorter than the usual fare and that feels better. You don’t have to have any certain amount of content here so cut it down a bit and let the show breathe, which can help.
Result
Hikaru Shida b. Big Swole – Running knee
Nyla Rose/Leva Bates b. Shazza McKenzie/Shalandra Royal – Double Swanton Bomb
SCU/Cima b. Kip Sabian/Hybrid Two – Top rope Meteora to Sabian
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
NWA Powerrr – November 12, 2019: They Have Some Things To Figure Out
IMG Credit: National Wrestling Alliance
NWA Powerrr
Date: November 12, 2019
Location: GPB Studios, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Joe Galli, Jim Cornette
I’m not sure what to expect from this show and that’s kind of what I like about it. They only have the loosest of stories for the most part but you know who the people are and what they’re about. The rest can come later though and that is what makes for a fun show. I’m hoping this one goes well as they have a month before their pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a recap of the tag team situation last week with the Rock N Roll Express running in and going after the champion Wild Cards.
Opening sequence.
The Rock N Roll Express wish Outlaw Inc luck in their Tag Team Title match tonight. Cue Outlaw Inc, with Eddie Kingston not being sure what to think about being in the presence of legends. Their approval means Outlaw Inc can’t lose tonight.
Caleb Konley vs. Trevor Murdoch
Trevor shoulders him down so Caleb is right back with a monkey flip into a dropkick. That’s fine with Trevor as he runs Konley down again to slow the pace. Three straight slams seem to impress the fans until Konley sweeps the leg and hits a backsplash. A Lionsault hits unraised knees though and Murdoch hits a full nelson slam. The middle rope bulldog finishes Konley at 3:38.
Rating: C. One thing that has to be factored into these matches is the time, as they have ten minutes max so it makes sense for them to pick up the pace. They didn’t have time to do anything fancy here so it was a quick version of the speedy athlete vs. the big, Texas fighter. What we got was watchable enough and that’s the kind of thing they need to do on this show.
We look back at Ricky Starks beating Aron Stevens two straight falls last week.
Here’s a ticked off Aron Stevens to say he is leaving the NWA. The fans seem rather pleased and sing the Goodbye Song. After saying that’s why Broadway isn’t in Atlanta, he is ready to go put his pants on, and head to Hollywood for good.
We look back at Marti Belle turning on Allysin Kay last week.
Marti Belle/Thunder Rosa vs. Crystal Rose/Brooklyn Creed
Creed grabs a wristlock to drag Marti to the corner to start so Belle kicks Rose down. It’s off to Rosa for a running knee in the corner and a running knee has Crystal down. There’s a running dropkick and a top rope double stomp to the back finishes Rose at 1:37. Total squash.
Post match Belle and Rosa talk about how there is a fire and they are the Phoenix coming out of it. They’re coming for Kay.
The Question Mark…is here.
We look at Colt Cabana regaining the National Title.
After the match, James Storm demanded a rematch before changing his mind. He wants the World Title instead.
Here’s Cabana for a chat. He’s fired up and came back from an injury to win his title back on the first try. Ricky Starks comes out to say he’s sold on the gold.
Dan Parker vs. Question Mark
Mark is your standard masked man. Parker slugs away to start but gets dropkicked out of the corner. A hard shot to the throat gives Mark the pin at 52 seconds.
The NWA is coming to RetroMania Wrestling.
Video on Thunder Rosa and what looks like a documentary on her time in MMA.
The announcers talk about Kamille but here’s Eli Drake to talk about how little he cares about her her. Maybe Nick Aldis is scared of what Kamille might say. Maybe she knows Drake can take the World Title away from Aldis. The fans prefer the Question Mark but cue the Wild Cards to tell Drake to stay out of their business. They leave so here’s Mr. Anderson to suggest a partnership.
Billy Corgan has a big announcement coming.
Tony Falk has started a wrestling farm. Want a babyface or heel of your own? Just $15,000! These things are hilarious.
We look back at Aldis try to talk Tim Storm out of retirement.
Aldis says he hears a lot of people talking about what they deserve. Wrestling and the NWA owe you nothing because you earn everything. There is a reason he was allowed to present Dory Funk Jr. with the Lou Thesz Award and why he and Harley Race took a photo with their titles: he does everything the right way. That’s why he is going to be sitting out here watching the Tag Team Title match and making sure that things go right.
Tag Team Titles: Outlaw Inc vs. Wild Cards
Outlaw Inc (Eddie Kingston/Homicide) are challenging. The brawl is on before the bell (as it should be) with Isaacs powerslamming Homicide to take over. Homicide is right back with a tornado DDT and it’s Kingston coming in with a clothesline for two. The champs get Kingston into the corner though and the beating is on again, this time with some alternating choking.
Kingston manages a swinging Rock Bottom and the hot tag brings in Homicide to suplex Isaacs. We actually settle down to a headlock with Isaacs slowing Homicide’s house cleaning. Homicide goes for a suplex but his leg gives out, meaning it’s Latimer kicking away at the knee. Everyone comes in for a big knockdown and Homicide is shoved off the top and out to the floor. Isaacs catches Kingston in a dragon suplex into a German suplex (cool) for the pin at 7:17.
Rating: C. Another rushed match and in this case the extra time would have hurt it a bit. These guys needed to get in there, have their big brawl and then go on. There was no need to stretch out a fight like this and thankfully they understood that idea. Keeping this short worked better, as they got their stuff in and didn’t waste time on things they didn’t need to do.
Kamille comes out to yell at Aldis but the entire locker room comes out to join in the argument to end the show.
Roll credits.
Overall Rating: C. Things are at a weird place here, though I wouldn’t call it a problem. There really isn’t a big story for the show but rather just a bunch of stuff that is happening with these people. You can probably guess what is going to happen with some of the stories, but there is no clear cut challenger to Aldis and the pay per view hasn’t even begun to take shape. Granted having a pay per view eight weeks after your debut might not have been the best idea. Either way, the show is still more than fine as it offers nice entertainment and a very quick sit, though I’m not sure where some things are going.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Main Event – November 7, 2019: The Flashback Show
IMG Credit: WWE
Main Event
Date: November 7, 2019
Location: Nassau Coliseum, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Mickie James
It’s more of the weekly recap and I really am running out of ways to say I don’t know what is coming. Raw and Smackdown are such swings and misses most of the time anymore and I’m not sure how much better it is going to be in a short form version. At least this is before we went to the UK as the international slog continues. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
No Way Jose vs. Shelton Benjamin
Jose dances out of an early wristlock and dances again to put on a headlock. That means more dancing as we might be seeing a one note character here. Shelton catches him with a kick to the face in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Jose shakes his way up (I’ll call that dancing) and the clotheslines connect. The Dragon Whip misses and Jose hits a Backstabber. The pop up right hand is blocked and it’s Paydirt to finish Jose at 5:11.
Rating: D+. Standard Main Event match here as Shelton has joined its ranks, meaning his main roster career is either over or he’ll be WWE Champion in a month. Jose on the other hand is doomed to walk the airports forever as he goes to Main Event after Main Event, likely answering questions about the NWO along the way.
Video on the NXT invasion.
From Smackdown.
Here’s the Miz for MizTV. After sucking up to the Buffalo crowd, he talks about how he was going to be interviewing Bray Wyatt, who won the Universal Title last night. We see a package of the win but since Bray isn’t here, we’ll move on. Miz talks about all the NXT talents in the building tonight, with Riddle and Lee beating up Sami being his favorite.
Miz can’t wait to see what happens next….so here’s Tommaso Ciampa to a huge reaction. Ciampa talks about how Miz likes to pretend that he’s a star while Ciampa is literally breaking his neck for wrestling. Miz likes acting so while he’s acting the part, Ciampa is playing the part. That’s something Miz has heard for fifteen years and he’s so tired of hearing it that he’s ready to fight right now.
Miz vs. Tommaso Ciampa
Miz’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere so he slides between Ciampa’s legs for a sunset flip. Ciampa gets sent outside but is fine enough to send Miz into various things, allowing him to sit on the apron and applaud himself. Back in and Miz’s Reality Check gets two but Ciampa beats him up again to take over.
The Fairy Tale Ending is broken up and Miz gets in a shot to the knee to cut Ciampa down. The shot DDT gives Miz two and it’s the Figure Four going on, only to have Ciampa glare at him and escape. Miz tries it again but gets small packaged for two. Ciampa’s half crab doesn’t get him very far as Miz hits the running corner clothesline. Miz gets kneed out of the air though and the Fairy Tale Ending finishes Miz at 7:41.
Rating: C. Ciampa is an interesting case as he is more than capable of hanging on the main WWE roster (if not thriving) but he seems tailor made to be an NXT lifer. Maybe it’s his size, age or history but he screams perfect for NXT and that’s all he needs to be. This was an important win for him, though I can’t imagine him being a big deal on the main roster, at least not one Vince controls.
Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar.
From Raw.
Here are an annoyed looking Lesnar and Heyman to open the ring. Heyman explains Lesnar quitting and THEY’RE ACTUALLY EXPLAINING THE WAY OUT. The week of the Draft, Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross were sent to Smackdown for future considerations and here’s Lesnar as those future considerations. Heyman makes it clear that Lesnar is better than everyone here and wants to know where Mysterio is so either get out here or Brock will go slap everyone in this audience. Tonight, someone is going to say where Mysterio is so Lesnar can destroy him. Heyman gives Rey’s career the last rites and they’re out.
In the back, Brock looks for Rey and beats up a backstage worker for not answering fast enough. Post break another backstage guy says Rey is in that car over there so Brock breaks into a car to find….not Rey. Brock breaks the door to vent some frustration.
Immediately after the match, Lesnar and Heyman come out to demand Mysterio’s whereabouts from commentary. Heyman says Lawler knows everything going around here so either say where Mysterio is or Lesnar will kill him and there will be no bringing him back to life this time. Maddin gets up and stares Lesnar down, earning himself an F5 through the table. Cue Mysterio with a pipe to whack Lesnar in the knees over and over. A running belt shot leaves Brock laying.
During the break, Lesnar couldn’t stand and nearly crawled to the back.
Rey says he’s fighting fire with fire and coming for the WWE Championship. The challenge is on for Survivor Series.
Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Eric Young/Erick Rowan
Rowan? Really? Young hammers on Ryder to start so Ryder makes the comeback with some clotheslines. Hawkins comes in to work on the wristlock as the actual team takes over. A toss to the floor lets the villains take over and we go to a break. Back with Ryder slugging away in the corner but getting sent over to Rowan to cut that off in a hurry. A pumphandle backbreaker keeps Ryder down and we hit the neck crank. Rowan’s charge hits boots though and that’s enough for the tag off to Hawkins. Everything breaks down as Hawkins cleans house, setting up a rollup to finish Young at 9:38.
Rating: C-. I’m almost stunned here, but at least they let the hometown guys win a match, even if it doesn’t matter whatsoever. Hawkins and Ryder are the kind of guys who seem like they’re both trying and having fun out there at the same time and what more can you ask for than that? I can always appreciate something like that and that is more than the case here.
Video on Adam Cole.
From Raw.
NXT Title: Adam Cole vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins is defending and Cole is out with HHH. Cole gets driven into the corner and knocked to the floor to start, allowing Rollins to hit the slingshot dive. A few rams into the barricade take us to a break and we come back with Cole kicking him in the face. An enziguri staggers Rollins but he’s right back with the low superkick for two. Rollins goes up top but dives into a heck of a superkick for two more.
The middle rope Canadian Destroyer is blocked and Rollins kicks him down again. Rollins loads up the Falcon Arrow but gets reversed into the brainbuster onto the knee. The double clothesline puts both of them down until Cole heads up top. That means the superplex into the Falcon Arrow and they’re both down again. Rollins loads up the Stomp…and it’s the Undisputed Era for the DQ at 12:30.
Rating: B. You could feel the interference here but that’s the logical way to go here as you have stable mates for just such a situation. The match was as entertaining as you would have expected from these two and it makes sense to not have Rollins take the title here. If nothing else, Cole hung with Rollins for a match that got a little time, which is how you make someone look good in an invasion like this.
Post match the NXT and Raw locker rooms come out for the huge brawl with NXT getting the better of it due to the numbers advantage. Ricochet hits the big springboard shooting star onto the pile and everyone is down. Keith Lee one ups Ricochet with the huge flip dive to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Maybe it was the England shows but I had a good time watching this one and looking back at the pretty awesome NXT invasion. They’ve got something with that and while it has all but died due to the NXT talent not being in England, it was something fun for a week and I could go for more of that. Just anything with a spark please, which has been lacking from WWE for a long time now.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Hidden Gems #12: Nice To Meet You (And The New Way I’m Doing These Things)
So as you may or may not know, every Thursday the WWE Network releases some Hidden Gems, which could be a little bit of everything. It could be a match, a promo, a segment, or even a full show, many of which have never been released before. Now as you can imagine, this has me drooling but since I tend to try to make the reviews a bit longer, it takes me forever to do a set of these.
Therefore, I’m going to switch things up a bit and do these when I have the time and throw up however many I do in a session. I’ve gotten a chronological list of everything released (or as close as I can get) will be busting out my trust random number generator to see what is up next. It might be one, it might be three, it might be any other number. You never know how long these things are going to be as they can run from a few minutes to a full show. I love these things though and really want to do them, so I’ll be seeing what I can do with them in shorter form, which could be rather interesting. Let’s get to it.
Hidden Gems #12
Date: 1992
Razor Ramon vs. Tito Santana
Date: June 29, 1992
Location: Civic Center, Glens Falls, New York
Now this is how you start things off! This is Razor’s one of Razor’s first matches in the company and if I just have to watch Santana, so be it. It’s also only from the hard camera so there is no commentary. Razor is from Orlando and has generic music, plus long tights instead of the normal trunks. The vest is there though. Santana is El Matador for your pretty weak idea of the day. There’s the toothpick throw, so a lot of the elements are already here.
Razor shoves him away a few times so Santana goes with a top wristlock. They pause again and it’s so strange seeing the production crew walking around because they know no fans outside of the arena are seeing them. Santana’s crossbody gets two and it’s off to a wristlock. Tito stays on the arm so Razor finally sends him outside for a breather. Some loud chopping ensues until Razor takes it back inside to keep up the beating.
There’s the chokeslam, which Razor did before almost anyone else, for two and it’s off to the double arm crank. Tito reverses into one of his own but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A legdrop between the legs keeps Tito down, though the clock on the screen covers him up. Tito makes the comeback by slugging away and there’s a dropkick for a bonus. The flying forearm gets two thanks to a boot on the rope so Razor slams him down. The middle rope elbow (because Razor does a middle rope elbow) misses though and Tito goes up for a crossbody, only to have Razor roll through and grab the tights for the pin at 11:10.
Rating: D+. This picked up by the end but it was a pretty dull match for the most part with both guys working on the arm. Part of the problem here though is that Razor got over because of his vignettes and promos and the matches were secondary. This was coming in cold so it can only get so far. Not a disaster or anything, but Razor still needed some tweaks.
There’s something sad about Santana having to stand in the ring and picking up his pink jacket as Razor’s music plays.
Overall Rating: D+. So yeah this was a one off thing and I’m kind of liking the idea of doing them so fast like this. There are going to be days where I have a little more time but this one was a short one and that makes for a rather easy time. The match wasn’t anything to see, but it’s a little oddity from history and that is exactly what the point of this thing is. I’m looking forward to doing more of these things and that’s a nice feeling after how the weekly shows have been so far.
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006 (2012): I Didn’t Survive
IMG Credit: WWE
Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Another match of note on the show is Mickie James challenging Lita for the Women’s Championship in what would be Lita’s final match. Combining this with Trish Stratus leaving just a few months earlier, the Divas division was in a huge state of flux with the two biggest stars it ever had leaving in the span of a few months. Let’s get to it.
This is the 20th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.
Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad
Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes
Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey
Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad (a group of male cheerleaders) still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler, so I’ll spare you from an explanation. Kenny is the only other one that stuck around after the team split up anyway.
Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Ron beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch (the other cheerleader) gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”
Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s Flair time and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow on Nicky for the immediate elimination, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.
The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with a handful of jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.
Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.
Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.
We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. There was also some nonsense about Eddie’s estate which didn’t going anywhere.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero
Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the rope. Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.
Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the swan dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the dive miss, sending Chris’ head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the frog splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.
Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the swan dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.
Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.
Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James
Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.
A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. Off to a sleeper from Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes. Again, their words not mine. Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.
Rating: D. Most of that is for the ending with Lita’s head bouncing off the mat. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.
Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with the box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.
Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s underwear so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s massager. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.
Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.
Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO
Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk
Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms
This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox, a big power guy with a beard, has a chick named Kelly Kelly with him at the moment and she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Tag Team Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.
HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it but Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here people. Off to Jeff who works on Nitro’s arm to continue their recent feud.
Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.
Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and the fans are very pleased. Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.
Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.
Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.
Rating: C-. This was entertaining but it’s kind of a questionable ending when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.
We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is a very loud guy that likes to challenge legends and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Undertaker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Undertaker has had in years. It’s a first blood match tonight because Kennedy busted Undertaker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Undertaker’s magic powers.
Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP (think Deion Sanders) comes up and notices the Vaseline on Kennedy’s forehead. I guess the referee isn’t watching the interview.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker
Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but Undertaker punches him down as soon as they get back inside. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announcers’ table with Undertaker in total control. We head to the crowd and Undertaker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Undertaker into the steps.
Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Undertaker so far. We head back in and Undertaker busts out a superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but shouldn’t Undertaker be going for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it hasn’t been mentioned in any first blood match I’ve ever seen. Kennedy hits Undertaker low but Undertaker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.
A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Undertaker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Undertaker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.
Undertaker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone. It winds up hitting Undertaker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Undertaker is such a legend at this point.
Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Undertaker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former World Champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former World Champion he had beaten.
Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.
Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.
Team Cena vs. Team Big Show
John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam
Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga
It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team so I think you can guess the crowd reactions. Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga, a Samoan and formerly Jamal of 3 Minute Warning is still undefeated and a monster. Finlay is an Irish brawler.
Naturally Cena is booed out of the building by the hardcore crowd. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena getting knocked to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.
We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irishman for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.
While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with his club so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in between.
To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.
A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Hornswoggle again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.
Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.
JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.
The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.
We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Batista’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he believes is still his.
Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T
Booker is defending of course. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via DQ so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Also the ruling said Booker loses if he gets counted out. It said nothing about him losing by countout so would a draw give Batista the title? Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.
After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before sling shotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer.
A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Egads now I’m thinking like Michael Cole. Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title but it’s not clear. A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.
Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. That’s how the show ends: not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.
Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the World Title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.
Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.
This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.
Ratings Comparison
Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: B
Redo: D+
Mickie James vs. Lita
Original: B
Redo: D
Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO
Original: B
Redo: C-
Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker
Original: C+
Redo: C
Team Cena vs. Team Big Show
Original: D+
Redo: D
Batista vs. Booker T
Original: D-
Redo: D-
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D-
WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006 (Original): A Dark Day
IMG Credit: WWE
Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, JBL, Michael Cole
It’s the 20th show in case you were wondering for some bizarre reason that I can’t comprehend. With the 2006 show, the only real difference is the induction of ECW into the company. It brings the third brand and at this point is still complete with the Originals and Heyman etc. Also there are some new faces such as Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Punk, MVP and Kennedy.
There are three Survivor Series matches here and the main event is Booker vs. Batista which had been done about a million times already but they figured what the heck we might as well do it again. Other than that, there’s not a lot here that jumps off the page at me.
Oh DX is here again as they’re feuding with Rated RKO, having just finished fighting Vince and Shane. Other than that, there’s just not a lot here. It looks kind of generic but sometimes cards like that are best. Here we go again as we’re very close to wrapping this series up.
The intro video is about as bland as you can get, but in this case it’s actually working. They talk very briefly about how this is the 20th Survivor Series and a new generation is here, followed by a quick build up for all seven matches. There’s not a lot here but it’s a nice change of pace from all of the stupid videos about Survival that we’ve heard for the last two or three years. After the four (ECW is left out) commentators talk about their show’s big matches, we’re ready to go.
Spirit Squad vs. Legends
The Spirit Squad is comprised of Kenny Dykstra, Johnny Jeter who was pretty awesome in OVW, a short guy named Mikey, and a guy named Nick, who would eventually be known as Dolph Ziggler. Spellcheck has never heard the name Dolph? Has it never seen Rocky 4? That’s just sad. Anyway, there’s also a 5th guy on the outside that never did anything. On the other side we have Arn Anderson on the floor with Dusty Rhodes, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons (really?) and Ric Flair in the ring.
Apparently Simmons was supposed to be Roddy Piper but he had been diagnosed with cancer so naturally he couldn’t wrestle. Ok in that case it’s a bit better. Naturally this is over the respect for the old timers thing which is about as basic of a storyline that will almost always work as you could ask for. Dusty comes out to his American Dream music so I’m happy. Simmons is rocking the catchphrase shirt and the APA music.
Anderson comes out to the Horsemen theme, so this is officially a cool show. Dang that music is awesome. I really love kayfabe as Flair and Anderson have tried to cripple Dusty at least half a dozen times over the years yet now they’re his partners. That could only work in wrestling. The Spirit Squad were a bunch of male cheerleaders. Yep, that’s about all that needs to be said. It amuses me greatly to see Ziggler in there looking like that.
We start out with Simmons against Mikey, because that’s a great way to open up a PPV. Ross says there’s an unlimited amount of combinations that could occur. Actually there are sixteen combinations that could happen while the match is still going on, but who am I to question the great mathematician known as Jim Ross? Ron beats down the whole heel team but gets tripped and goes after Kenny.
After he and Arn beat up Mikey, he’s counted out despite the referee never actually saying ten. Well I guess that’s as good of a way to get rid of him as any other, but I would have liked it to have lasted longer than two minutes. Mitch the manager gets thrown out too so there we go. Arn gets the same and I want to massacre that referee. This is kind of overkill here and even the fans are chanting bull.
When you can get a Philly crowd to cheer for you, you have officially won. On a replay we see that Anderson beat up Mitch. So wait, he can get thrown out for beating on someone not even in the match? What sense does that even begin to make? If your answer is none at all, YOU’RE RIGHT! Think about it: he’s getting in trouble for beating someone up that isn’t officially involved in the match. So could he be thrown out of the match for getting into a bar fight? See, it makes no sense.
Anyway, we’re up to Slaughter against Mikey now. Dusty gets a solid pop when he comes in, thankfully wearing a shirt. Flair gets less of a pop, but the chops make up for it. The heels are getting destroyed here which is just what shouldn’t have happened. I get that they’re legends, but isn’t the job of guys like these to put over young talent? I guess not as Sarge has the Cobra Clutch on Nicky. Man these guys are hard to tell apart other than Kenny.
I love how in today’s company, this would be so one sided the other way that it’s not even funny. With the referee distracted, Johnny comes in and kicks Slaughter in the back of the head and Nicky gets the easy pin to make it 4-2. In one of the stupidest looking things I’ve ever seen, with Nicky still down from the cover, Dusty casually walks in, measures him, and drops a very slow elbow on him to get the pin.
Seriously? That’s all it takes? A single elbow drop to beat someone? I get that Dusty was limited at best in the ring but he couldn’t pick him up and throw some punches and slam him or something? A freaking elbow drop gets the pin? Come on now. For the life of me I don’t get what the big deal about Kenny was. He was ok at best and that’s about all. After the really stupid (and insanely slow) Flip Flop and Fly, Dusty gets rolled up and Kenny pins him.
So now we have Flair vs. Kenny, Mikey and Johnny. Which of the jobbers is Flair going to take out first? It’s Mikey who gets taken out by a roll up with Flair’s feet on the ropes for a nice old school cheating pin. Flair truly was a master at taking something as simple as that and making it look cool and so completely evil when he was a heel. Sometimes less is more and Flair was the best there ever was in that area.
Ross points out that the Legends team had 21 world title reigns between them, but Flair has 16 of those. That’s just amusing. Flair hooks a quick inside cradle to make this Johnny vs. Ric Flair. Hmm, I’m not sure how this is going to go. I have to go with the guy in green. No way some old guy beats him is there? Oh never mind.
Even I can’t make this sound funny. The figure four gets the old guys the win about 45 seconds later. The Squad beats up Flair afterwards and surprisingly no help comes out for Flair.
Rating: C+. Eh this was what it was. They only had about ten minutes which is what it should have been. Other than Simmons, who wasn’t supposed to be in there anyway, all of the eliminations kind of made sense. Having Flair be the winner is ok I guess as he was at least an active wrestler at the time. His picking apart of the team at the end was great stuff as nothing he did was flashy or anything like that as he beat all three guys using very basic stuff.
That’s something that a lot of guys now could learn actually. The Figure Four was appropriate as he shouldn’t have gone for that with others around and he didn’t. When he was outnumbered he used fast stuff but once things were even he used his best. That’s terrific thinking there and it worked quite well. This wasn’t really about anything but nostalgia, but sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that, and this is a great example of one of those times.
Cole says that Philly is one of three cities to host all of the Big Four, with the others being New York City and Boston. That’s actually pretty cool.
Recap of Benoit vs. Chavo, which goes like this. Chavo and Vickie had allegedly been doing jack with Eddie’s estate or something like that which was never elaborated on. Benoit comes back from a hiatus and wins the US Title. Chavo also says that Rey is trying to steal the Guerrero name because that would be something evil.
We’ll of course ignore that Chavo and Vickie have been doing that for their whole careers but whatever. Anyway, Chavo injured Rey’s knee and put him out, so Benoit came to his rescue. That brings us here.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chave Guerrero
Vickie actually has some pretty awesome cleavage. Since this is Benoit, it’s naturally an intense match. There’s not a lot to say here. It’s really just a lot of strikes from both guys mixed with the occasional attempt at the Crossface. I know that’s not a lot to go on but I really have nothing to say here. It’s insane to think that Benoit would be gone in less than a year. This is where Chavo is at his best: in there with another guy of about his size and just letting it go.
Both guys can wrestle as well as anyone else and Chavo, or Shavo as JBL refers to him as because he can’t pronounce his name for some reason, really is better than he’s given credit for. Vickie interferes about a dozen times here and it’s rather annoying. JBL compares it to cheating on your wife with some hot chick on the road. Dang what must his wife have thought of that line? Benoit misses the headbutt because of Vickie leading to Guerrero hitting the Frog Splash for two.
A massive Eddie chant breaks out because of that. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter and gets shoved off, slamming into Vickie THANK GOODNESS. Chavo goes to check on her and the Crossface ends this. It was short but quite intense which was where Benoit shined.
Rating: B. Like I said, this was short but intense. Benoit could fight with the best of them but he could also wrestle better than the best of them which is what made him so successful. Chavo certainly can go too and it’s a shame that he’s a comedy jobber to this day. I really do feel bad for him, but he’s getting on TV so you can’t blame him for that. Solid match that was just long enough to not feel short.
The Elimination Chamber is coming back at December 2 Dismember. Oh dear this was awful in every sense of the word. Also, it’s A WEEK LATER. There’s a rant coming one day on that show as it’s about as much of a debacle as humanly possible, but I’ll save that for later.
Edge and Lita are with Todd Grisham. Tonight is Lita’s last match despite the fact that she’s the Women’s Champion. Edge offers some weak Philly jokes before doing the smarter thing and kissing Lita. He rants a bit more while Cryme Tyme is behind them sneaking into her locker room and stealing her stuff.
Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita
Like I said, this is Lita’s last night with the company. Mickie is at this point the queen of the short skirts which gave us some AWESOME visuals for a long time. For the life of me I don’t get how people don’t think she’s hot. Mickie is flat out gorgeous on so many levels. Granted Lita is somehow hotter which defies logic. Lita’s music truly does rock. This likely is going to go quick as it’s about as obvious as possible that Mickie walks out with the belt here.
Allegedly Lita is leaving due to the fans hating her, which is actually pretty creative. The fans boo people all the time yet this time the fans are actually getting rid of someone they can’t stand. Trish had left two months prior to this, so this is more or less the ending of the Women’s Division’s best years. More or less they’re just going through the motions here and it’s not that interesting.
To be fair, at least Lita isn’t being a witch like Goldberg and Lesnar were when they left and having a horrible match more or less on purpose. She’s not exactly lighting the world on fire or anything, but she’s certainly out there trying and that’s all I can ask of her. Mickie surprisingly kicks out of both the Litarana and the moonsault to a decent pop. My goodness Mickie has a nice figure.
After some back and forth reversals, Mickie hits the jumping DDT to get the pin and the division is officially in big trouble. That’s not a knock on Mickie by any means, but other than her around this time there was absolutely no one that could carry a decent match. She and Melina traded the belt a bit before Candice arrived and took the division over despite a rather severe lack of talent at the time.
Lita wants a mic as the fans are singing to her a familiar song. Actually she’s demanding that Lillian calls her the best Women’s Champion ever, which of course gets her booed again. It’s a shame she left because she was awesome as a heel. Anyway, after she whines a lot, Cryme Tyme, who was the hottest team on the planet around this time, comes out with the box, and it’s time for a HO SALE! Everything must go so have your money ready.
This really is hilarious as JTG has charisma to burn. He’s actually a lot better on the mic than he’s given credit for. They sell mainly underwear and bras with JBL offering $100 for some panties. They take the money and toss them into the crowd of course. Lita is freaking out over this as they pull out her vibrator. I love how the cops aren’t here as it’s clearly Lita’s stuff and she’s upset about this. The last item: it’s big, it’s wide, it’s cheap and you can fit your head in it.
It’s Lita’s box. As Cryme Tyme is leaving, you can hear some very profane in their song. That’s most interesting. You kind of have to feel bad for Lita that on her last night this is her sendoff, but dang that was great. It’s a shame that they never win jack in the ring, but geez they need to go back to doing stuff like this as it was hilarious.
Rating: B. Well, they made Mickie look strong and Lita looked fine on her way out so those two missions were certainly accomplished. Considering there was absolutely zero suspense about the ending, I’d say this was fine. There’s little drama but the match itself was fine.
Mickie was the future of the division so having her beat Lita clean after kicking out of her signature moves was the exact right thing to do. This was fine for what it was and the girls both looked hot. Couple that with a great comedy segment and this was sweet.
We go to an interview with Cole and Batista from earlier in the day. Cole asks a bunch of questions and Batista says nothing at all to anything. He just sits and stares straight ahead. After a clip of Booker attacking him on Smackdown, Batista still says nothing. Cole asks if he has anything at all to say and Batista takes off his glasses, looks at Cole and simply says “Tonight, I’m leaving as World Heavyweight Champion”. End of interview.
I LOVE that. How many times have you seen people do the exact same promo that absolutely nothing gets said in at all and it’s just the same stuff that we hear every month? This was directly to the point and made Batista look crazy, which is exactly the point. I loved this and it did its job to perfection.
Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO
DX, Hardys, Punk
Randy Orton, Edge, Mike Knox, Johnny Nitro, Gregory Helms
The feuds are pretty self explanatory here with Punk against Knox, Nitro against Jeff and Matt against Helms. We don’t get any stupid things like stories or anything like that. Why waste time there. Let’s just get theme music playing and get to it! Jeff is Intercontinental Champion here. For some reason Lillian calls Matt and Jeff Team Xtreme while Ross calls them their traditional names.
Punk gets a solid pop. He’s a rookie here and is still undefeated. Naturally since he’s young, over and good with a different gimmick, Vince decided that Hardcore Holly should outlast him in the Elimination Chamber. Heyman had wanted to put Punk over Big Show but Vince decided that Holly had more potential. For those of you keeping score, that’s Heyman – 1, Vince – 0. DX gets a big pop despite their entrance taking forever.
Who would have thought that at this time three years later Matt would be by far and away the least successful? After a longer version of the standard intro in which all of the faces try to get different sections of the crowd to cheer the loudest, we’re on to the heels. First of all though, we get a HUGE CM Punk chant. He gets to ask are you ready? That’s saying a lot. That really is a freaking stacked face team in there with what, 25 world titles between four guys?
Melina and Nitro come out first with her looking ridiculously hot. For some reason that no one gets, Kevin Federline was a character around this time and an A-list guy along with Nitro and Melina. Vince’s desperation to be in every facet of entertainment will never cease to amaze me. Helms, the Cruiserweight Champion and coming out to the most generic rock music of all time is next. Knox, sans awesome beard is somehow dating Kelly at this point. Her skirt might be 4 inches wide. That’s awesome.
Edge and Orton are the tag champions here and their mix of music is completely awesome. After about ten minutes of intros and another Punk chant we start off with Knox and HHH. HHH, being a selfish bastard as always, hits on Kelly. At the time Kelly was an exhibitionist character so she gets up to flash HHH but Knox cuts him off. He turns into Sweet Chin Music and it’s 5-4 after about 45 seconds. The fans are WAY into Punk here.
Naturally Hardcore Holly would get 10x the pops though. Shawn scares the heck out of Melina in a funny spot. Morrison is in now and the faces take their time beating the living tar out of him. Edge beats on Matt for a bit which is dripping with history. I’m glad the captains aren’t staying on the apron until the end. Matt is bleeding from the mouth. I guess that’s better than being From The South. Punk comes in and gets cheered louder than anyone in the match.
After a few seconds, Nitro is tapping fast. He needs to bring that back, even as a secondary move. I’m talking about the Anaconda Vice in case there was any confusion. Helms and Edge beat down Punk, but he still gets massive chants. They’ll be silent when Holly shows up though. You know he’s a real star. He won a tag title. Helms busts out a one leg version of what will become known as the Codebreaker. The RKO puts Punk more or less out cold but Shawn breaks up the pin.
Punk finally gets the tag to HHH who comes in for the first time. Naturally he cleans house for awhile but it’s time for the big brawl, leading to the Hardys taking everyone out. The Twist of Fate and Swanton takes out Helms to make it 5 vs. Rated RKO. The heels grab their belts and try to leave but the Hardys cut them off. They all beat on Edge for awhile and then he gets kicked in the face for the pin. Ross calls him a Canadian Piñata which is kind of funny.
Randy tries to run through the crowd but every face not named DX catches him and the DX Double Team Finishing Combination, which is a long way to say Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree take him out for the clean sweep. Massive posing and celebrating follows.
Rating: B. This was very fun. It was fast paced and it got the point over perfectly. Also it doesn’t bury Edge and Orton because not even two A-list guys like them could overcome an obstacle like this. This was a great example of perfect booking and a great Survivor Series match. Punk’s pops are the most surprising part here though as they were by far and away the biggest thing of the match.
Vince is a freaking idiot to not let Punk get pushed because he wasn’t a big enough name yet or whatever. That’s a great example of his ego taking control of his senses. Punk would get pushed, but they freaking pushed Holly over him, and for what? The idea of paying dues? Come on now Vince, listen to the people and grow up for a change.
Time to recap the only real push that Kennedy ever got. This was around the time where he kept beating world champions and he’s challenged Taker at his show. Oddly that’s not Mania but whatever. They did manage to make this a First Blood match which helps a lot as it allows Kennedy to potentially beat Taker but Taker doesn’t have to actually get pinned. As for the story here, Kennedy says that he’s young so he has to take out the old man that is Taker.
How many people have used this same story? That’s just a painful lack of creativity. Also I would be willing to bet that at some point in the promos leading up to this, Kennedy has said he’s not afraid of the dark because no one ever has been. In the highlight package, Kennedy says that at Survivor KENNEDY! Sorry I had to get that joke in at least once.
He says that at Survivor Series the decade and a half of destruction will end. Well that’s all well and good for a threat but the decade and a half ended the year before. We’re closing in on two decades now. Is Kennedy planning on bringing a time traveling Delorean to the match or something? That would be cooler than he is, so maybe it should happen.
Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy
Before the match, Kennedy is talking to Krystal about how this is the biggest match of his career when MVP comes up. I almost forgot: they were teaming a bit at the time and actually had a very short feud with the Brothers of Destruction. I’ll give you two guesses as to which team got their heads handed to them. Kennedy has Vaseline on his forehead which keeps fists from making full contact and thereby opening up his head. That’s actually pretty smart.
Kennedy is wearing the Norcal shirt so I’m making a good bit here. Why does the blood have to come from the head? I’d love to see someone come out with a needle and poke their opponent’s finger to get the win. I’d half die of laughter. Kennedy desperately needs his new music at this point as the one he’s using here is painfully generic. He takes off two of the turnbuckle pads as JBL calls him the future of Smackdown. Again, that’s something that when you hear it now it’s just incredibly funny.
Holy crap Cole made a Back to the Future reference! I swear that wasn’t foreshadowing or anything like that when I made the Delorean joke earlier. Wow that actually made my review. I’m stunned. As Taker comes out Kennedy pulls off another buckle covering. Taker really does look awesome here. After over ten minutes since we started talking about this match, the bell finally rings. Ok, that’s just WAY too long.
I have no interest in watching it after that long, but at least this looks cool so let’s get to it. They keep pointing out that this is anything goes. We get it guys, chill a bit. This is really just a brawl/Taker beating up Kennedy to start us off, which I guess makes the most sense. I’m liking this actually. It’s a lot better than I expected, and I think that’s because they’re going on a rather slow style which allows them to set up to a big finish.
That’s fine, although I’m not sure why Taker is working on Kennedy’s ribs. I guess it’s because he wants to slow him down? Does that makes sense? I guess in some way it does, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve rarely seen anyone bleed from the stomach, at least in a wrestling match. Taker is completely dominant here. Cole asks about the logic of attacking the ribs as well, which has JBL saying Taker wants Kennedy to bleed from the mouth.
That’s…..kind of stupid but it works I suppose. A low blow does little to slow down Taker, which I kind of like I think. It keeps the whole painless man thing working. Another low blow actually works though so the first was completely pointless. Kennedy goes to the floor and is bleeding from the mouth but MVP comes out with a towel to clean it up. I’m surprised it can clot that fast but whatever.
With Taker back in control, MVP comes in with a chair for no apparent reason and cracks Taker with it to bust him open. That was just odd. Post match, Kennedy beats on him a bit more and gets in his face with the mic for his catchphrase. Taker of course grabs him by the throat and it’s beatdown time.
Taker KILLS him with the chair which gets a holy crap chant from a Philly crowd. That says a lot. A tombstone ends this beating as Taker poses to close the segment with JBL talking about how awesome and scary Taker is.
Rating: C+. This started off solid but it felt like the ending came from absolutely nowhere. MVP coming down wasn’t needed as he was swinging for Kennedy and it was just a big mess. I get why they had Kennedy win here as it makes the most sense, but dang this was just a mess near the end.
For the life of me I don’t get why they booked it like that. This is a great example of a match that just needed more time to flesh itself out. Another five minutes or so would have made this much better.
Booker isn’t worried about Batista tonight.
Again with no transition, we’re at our penultimate match.
Team Cena vs. Team Big Show
Cena, RVD, Kane, Lashley, Sabu
Big Show, MVP, Test, Finlay, Umaga
Dang those are some pretty motley crews of tag teams. Lashley is just becoming a bit deal, Kane is Kane, RVD is pretty worthless and Sabu just sucks. Test is the worst excuse for a big man ever and Finlay never really did anything other than have a midget for a son. This just doesn’t look good at all on paper. Let’s get this over with. Cena is between feuds with Show and Umaga here. We start with Umaga and Cena which would become the title feud very soon after this.
The Champ puts Umaga on the floor with a clothesline and the savage reacts savagely. He rips up the table of course and gets out a monitor which he blasts RVD, Sabu and Cena with for the fast DQ. Well that was abrupt. I get that they want to keep him hot but that’s a bit, shall we say extreme? I get what they’re trying to do here but it is a bit much. Granted it puts the faces at an early disadvantage so that’s mission accomplished if nothing else.
After that insanity we’re back with Finlay vs. RVD. Test comes in to beat on RVD a bit as Test continues to just be a failure on many levels. Vince to his credit though kept trying to push him despite him completely sucking at it. After about a minute in there Finlay comes back in just in case you missed him. Since he’s had his face kicked in for a good long while now Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth.
This is just not interesting at all for some reason despite there being a lot of names in there that are certainly A-list guys. I guess it’s that there’s no way Cena’s team is losing here but whatever. Van Dam hits one heck of a kick on Finlay which I think wasn’t supposed to be that solid. He caught him great though and it looked awesome. After a rather weak brawl, Kane interferes and hits a chokeslam on MVP to set up the Five Star and make it 5-3.
As RVD gets up though, Test hits the SICKEST big boot I’ve ever seen to take him out. Even Kane on the apron was knocked back by just looking at it. I mean Kane is just watching this and he looks like he got hit by a right hand and he’s only wincing because of how solid a kick that was. That was completely sick and no one would kick out of that. Based on that kick alone, I’d buy Test as a main event guy.
Go find a video of this match to see how sick that was. I’m impressed. Sabu immediately runs in and rolls Test up but since that’s a wrestling move it doesn’t work. On the floor Lashley hits a spear on Test to allow Sabu to hit a Tornado DDT to get the win on him, yet again crushing any semblance of a push that Test could have gotten. Show walks in and a simple chokeslam ends purple pants.
I know this is just listing stuff but there’s maybe 30 seconds between falls, which is counting people coming in, the moves and the counts. That leaves little time for anything else. Kane comes in. Oh in case you lost track, it’s Kane, Cena and Lashley against Finlay and Show. To follow up on that kick, RVD is just now leaving. That’s insane. Kane is 200lbs lighter than Show. That’s even scarier.
During a double choke from the big men, the man known as Little Bastard who will eventually be named Hornswoggle comes in and distracts the referee long enough for Kane to get smacked with the club and then chokeslammed to make this 2-2. This feels like they ran out of time in the middle of the match. Now we get Show against Cena with John being booed badly. After too long of a beating on Cena Lashley gets the hot tag and cleans house.
Show takes both guys down though to set up a pretty bad elimination for Finlay. The Irishman rolls Horny into the ring and is going to use him as a battering ram but Lashley hits a running punch to the ribs which is called a spear. Cena tries to FU Horny but Show stops him. Cena is just flat out hated in this town. Who would have seen that coming?
Once it’s 2-1, I don’t think Show got in any offense at all. Well, that’s a great way to make your champion look just before the first ECW PPV isn’t it guys? After the third Lashley spear of the match (learn some new moves for goodness’s sake) the 500lb FU ends this. Massive celebrations follow.
Rating: D+. What was the point of this? Cena was in the middle of his feuds here and the rest was just kind of a big preview of the awful Chamber match next week. Most of these guys were seemingly thrown together and told to go have a twelve minute Survivor Series match.
WAY too much of this was rapid fire eliminations which rarely if ever work. I really wasn’t too big on this but some cool spots make it ok. Also it’s short, which is a big problem but in another way it’s also the best thing about it. Try having that make sense.
Hey! There’s another PPV in a week and even though Vince is going to announce only two matches and go completely against what the fans are cheering for because he knows better. I mean really think about it. The fans are chanting for Punk despite HHH and HBK and one of the most popular tag teams of all time being in there, but he naturally didn’t get to last as long as that master of the ring, Hardcore Holly. Vince, grow up. You really need to.
We get what I guess you would call a recap of Booker vs. Batista. The idea is simple: Batista has tried twice or so already and hasn’t gotten the belt, so this is his last chance which gives the ending away already. This led to the ridiculously annoying Sharmell shouting ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!, about once every three seconds. It was a decent idea for a drinking game. Batista had been forced to relinquish the title nearly a year ago due to injury and hasn’t gotten it back yet. Yep, that’s about it.
Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista
Teddy Long comes out and says exactly the same thing I just did, but adds that if Booker is counted out or disqualified Batista gets the belt, again making sure that the ending of the Batista Bomb is set in stone. I’ve always shaken my head over the little spin move that Batista would do when he was jumping up and down. Of course it’s up and down as I don’t think you can jump any other way.
Actually according to AJ Styles’ old music you can jump to the left which you can also do in the Time Warp so there we are. That was a rather pointless rant but whatever. This is a long entrance and I’m not that interested in the match itself. King Booker was either brilliant or a complete failure and I’m still not sure which. If nothing else it gave him an actual gimmick. Before this he was just Booker T.
Cole says the following great line: “There’s the Animal, pacing like a caged animal.” Does that just sound stupid to anyone else? Good grief Booker is slower than Taker when it comes to entrances. Thankfully Batista jumps him so we get to this faster. Wow…this is very boring. There’s just nothing at all out of the ordinary here as it’s just Batista beats on Booker but as he goes for the Bomb Booker hits the floor. Wow how exciting.
This was around the time where Smackdown was almost universally looked down on for being awful and I can certainly see how that’s the conception. It’s been all Batista so far meaning that the Booker comeback is coming very soon. Yep there it is. This is just predictable. JBL tries to make us believe that this is the big match of the show.
There’s a big difference between going on last and being the main event, although there really wasn’t a main event on this card anyway so maybe that’s a fair statement to make. There’s a very limited reaction from the crowd here as for one thing this is in Philadelphia or as it’s more commonly known Smark city #1 or #2 based on your thoughts on New York City.
Batista hits a Jackhammer to even less of a reaction. Sharmell interferes and thereby gives Booker the advantage. After some more generic back and forth stuff we discuss the idea that Teddy Long is trying to get the belt off Booker because he’s racist. Sadly, that’s by far the most entertaining aspect of this match. They keep changing the story about the rules of the title.
At one point it’s he doesn’t get a shot at Booker again, then it’s at the title ever. Make up your minds on the pointless stipulations guys. I’m about to fall asleep from this match as it’s really that bad. Actually it’s not bad, but just boring on so many levels. Batista is treating him like a jobber in ever sense of the word. To up the drama/excitement, which is to say actually have some, Batista hits a shoulder block from the top.
JBL says it’s anyone’s ball game, which explains why Booker has been getting his face kicked in for about five minutes. Booker hits a random Book End so he can use the Spinerooni. Batista pops up and hits the Batista Bomb but Booker grabs the bottom rope. Sharmell interferes (for some reason that word was hard to spell) and Booker misses a belt shot, and Batista nails him with the belt for the title. Wait what? That’s how they’re ending this?
He has Booker more or less dead and he doesn’t even use the freaking Batista Bomb? To even further the stupidity of this, he kicked Booker in the ribs to make him drop the title, so he was in perfect position for the Bomb. That was a stupid ending because it makes Batista look both heelish and weak. That was awful.
Rating: D-. This was AWFUL. It was boring, the ending was never in doubt, and yet they somehow managed to botch that too. Batista breathed life back into the title though as he and Taker would soon start their mega feud over the belt, but seriously, this was the best they could do? It was like a main event for the sake of saying they had a main event which is just stupid. I want my fifteen minutes back! Awful way to end the show, plain and simple.
Overall Rating: C-. Again that’s being generous. The first half of this show is great but after that the whole thing just falls apart at the seams. The second half of this show just doesn’t work at all for me. The two main Survivor Series matches were just not good, plain and simple.
The main event was garbage of the highest degree and the whole show just falls flat for me. There’s some ok stuff here but it really just isn’t working at all for me. The first few matches, mainly the Benoit/Chavo match were actually pretty good. The show just doesn’t feel big at all and it just doesn’t work. I’d avoid it if I were you.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
Ring of Honor TV – November 6, 2019: The New Normal/Standard/Whatever Other Boring Term You Can Think Of
IMG Credit: Ring of Honor
Ring of Honor
Date: November 6, 2019
Location: Uno Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman, Colt Cabana
Hosts: Ian Riccaboni, Quinn McKay
We are FINALLY at a new show with something from New Orleans instead of Las Vegas and the Death Before Dishonor Fallout show. I’m not sure what to expect from these shows but that isn’t the best feeling in the world. You never know what you might get on one of these shows but at this point I’m going to assume that it won’t be the most entertaining thing in the world. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
We see the end of a battle royal with Silas Young winning a shot at the World Title, which will be tonight’s main event.
The hosts talk about Jonathan Gresham turning heel recently, meaning it’s time for the new Gresham to face his former mentor.
Alex Shelley vs. Jonathan Gresham
The camera shots aren’t friendly to the attendance here. Shelley works on the arm to start but Gresham is just fine with the technical stuff of course. Back up and Shelley gets creative with a hammerlock abdominal stretch for a little twist on some classics. The arm is sent into the corner but Gresham dropkicks the knee out as we take a break.
Back with Shelley going Cabana with the Billy Goat’s Curse into a Rocking Horse, followed by a quick rollup for two. Gresham starts in on the arm and almost goes Pentagon off a hammerlock. With the arms still trapped, Gresham pulls on the leg at the same time and even gets two off a rollup. Some more armbarring ensues as Shelley can’t figure out what to do here.
The armdrag into the armbar stays on the arm but Shelley throws him down and we take another break. Back again with Gresham small packaging him for two and frustration is setting in. They go to the mat for a battle of rollups for two, with something close to Zack Sabre Jr.’s European Clutch giving Gresham two more. Shelley’s Sliced Bread is blocked so he grabs a fisherman’s neckbreaker instead. Gresham tries the Octopus but Shelley reverses into a quick cradle for the pin at 14:32.
Rating: C+. This was the technical display that they should have gone with and hopefully it sets up the heel turn for Gresham. He has some serious potential as a heel and if he brings Jay Lethal down with him, so be it. The match was entertaining as well, but you had to know that was coming from these two.
Post match Gresham goes to grab a chair but Lethal breaks it up. Shelley offers a handshake and everything is cool.
Shane Taylor wants to be the modern Muhammad Ali by changing the game forever. The TV Title is just the beginning.
Someone attacked TK O’Ryan and Vinny Marseglia. O’Ryan needed to be taken away but Marseglia and Matt Taven want answers.
Marseglia is all cryptic about the truth being a knife.
Special shows are coming!
Video on Bully Ray attacking Mark Haskins and threatening his wife.
Haskins is going to hurt Ray.
Video on the #1 contenders tournament, won by PCO.
We look at Rush winning the World Title at Death Before Dishonor.
Ring of Honor World Title: Rush vs. Silas Young
Rush is defending and wastes no time in knocking Young into the corner. The Bull’s Horns is broken up with a spear though and Silas hammers away. Young talks a lot of trash and takes it to the floor to send Rush into the post. Back in and Young stays on the ribs by driving him into the corner and getting a slightly delayed one off a suplex. The chinlock goes on and we take a break.
Back with Young yelling at the referee so Rush spits at him and snaps off a German suplex. Running knees put Young on the floor as Rush gets to start a comeback. The running kick in the corner lets Rush hit the Tranquilo pose but Young is back with the Regal Roll. The springboard moonsault out of the corner gives Young two so Rush is right back with a suplex into the corner. Bull’s Horns retain the title at 11:03.
Rating: C. Yeah this was fine and that’s about it. Rush wasn’t in any real danger but he beat Young well enough in a match that was never in doubt. That’s all you need for something like this, though having Rush beat him in ten seconds would have worked just as well. It isn’t a bad match at all, but it came and went with nothing more.
Overall Rating: C-. They set up things up well enough but it just isn’t interesting. That’s how to sum up ROH all at once at the moment: what on here is supposed to have my attention? Lethal and Gresham as a team could go somewhere, but I can’t bring myself to get fired up about PCO vs. Rush as the big title match at the most important show of the year. They have been needing a hot story for months now and I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – November 11, 2019: As Cold As Iced Tea
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 11, 2019
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vic Joseph
It’s time for a taped show, which tends to have some weaker results than usual. It isn’t going to help to have this taped after Friday’s Smackdown, meaning the fans are going to be spent. We’re still in the build to Survivor Series, and in particular we find out the Raw men’s team for the five vs. five vs. five elimination match. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Becky Lynch to open things up. The Man is in Manchester where she was training when she was a teenager. Things are getting more intense and the challengers are getting harder, so Becky says bring them on. She’s never going to stop pushing because the only thing she fears in life is not being the best. So how about she becomes Becky Two Belts again right now?
Women’s Tag Team Titles: Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Kabuki Warriors
Natalya and Charlotte beat the Warriors last week but “family issues” kept Natalya from being here, meaning Becky is in her place. Asuka kicks away at Becky to start and the shots to the head just get on her nerves. Sane comes in and gets armdragged down, allowing Becky to strike a quick pose.
Becky gets one off a suplex and it’s off to Charlotte for the first time. That means a lot of chops and some strutting but Asuka kicks away. Cue Shayna Baszler to watch as we take a break. Back with Asuka taking over and kicking at Charlotte’s face in the corner. We hit the chinlock from Sane before Asuka comes back in for some strikes.
The Asuka Lock goes on for a few seconds but she switches to an armbreaker. That’s reversed with a lifting powerbomb but Sane is back in with a kick to Charlotte’s face. Charlotte finally avoids a charge in the corner and makes the hot tag off to Becky to stomp away in the corner. Sane gets sent into Asuka and there’s the Bexploder. Baszler jumps onto the apron but here’s Bayley to take her down, allowing Asuka to roll Becky up for the pin at 17:49.
Rating: C. This ate up a lot of time and that’s probably a good idea on a show where everyone is going to be tired in the first place. The ending was annoying but at least Becky vs. Asuka sounds good. I’m glad they addressed the lack of Natalya, though I doubt it was anything more than wanting Becky in the spot and not thinking it through from last week.
Post match Bayley sends Becky into the barricade.
Ricochet and Randy Orton are talking in the back when the OC shows up to mock Humberto Carrillo. Six man for later.
Drew McIntyre vs. Sin Cara
Cara starts fast with a dive to the floor but McIntyre pounds him right back down and hits a heck of a clothesline. Some kicks to the leg slow McIntyre down and a headscissors puts him on the floor. The slingshot hurricanrana is countered into a jackknife on the floor though and the Claymore finishes Cara at 3:59.
Rating: C-. It’s nice to see McIntyre squashing people again and that clothesline looked awesome. At the same time though, it’s easy to see why Cara wants to leave. This is about as good as it’s going to get for him and if he can do something else in Mexico or elsewhere, I can get why he would want out. I can’t imagine WWE letting him go, but I get Cara’s mindset.
Erick Rowan is looking through a screen and seems to be talking to a baby.
24/7 Title: R-Truth vs. Singh Brothers
Truth is challenging in a handicap match. Truth beats both of them up without much trouble with the Lie Detector looking to finish, only to have the Brothers bail to the floor. The chase is on and they run to the back with the fans booing it out of the building. The Brothers get to a room but run into Rowan, who hits them with a couch. Truth comes in and decides the three of them need privacy before turning out the lights and leaving. This wasn’t a match but the couch deal was funny.
Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about Survivor Series and we recap the invasion so far. Rollins likes the energy and talks about how he didn’t know what was next after losing the Universal Title. Last week HHH told him that he should go back to his roots but Raw is his home. Rollins lost his title but that doesn’t mean he is no longer the best in the world. Therefore, anyone in the back can come face him right now. Cue Imperium, with Walter introducing himself and saying Rollins is defiling sacred ground. Just because he’s in the UK doesn’t mean he can avoid an NXT invasion so let’s do this right now.
Seth Rollins vs. Walter
Non-title. Walter throws him around to start so Rollins tries some chops, only to get caught in the release German suplex. We hit the chinlock and then a half crab as Rollins can’t do much against the size and power. Rollins fights back up and even gets to tease the Stomp, which draws in the rest of Imperium for the DQ at 4:49.
Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but dang it’s cool to see Walter on the main show. I know his look may not be traditional but sweet goodness the guy commands respect in the ring. He can do a little bit of everything and that power is impossible to ignore. More of him please, as long as he doesn’t become a regular.
Post match the beatdown is on so it’s the Street Profits and Kevin Owens running in for the save.
Imperium vs. Kevin Owens/Street Profits/Seth Rollins
Rollins gets sent outside early on and we get the big staredown with Imperium. Walter drops Rollins back first onto the apron and the beating begins. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Wolfe gets two off a bridging German suplex. Aichner drives Rollins into the corner and it’s Walter coming in for some forearms to the chest. A dropkick into a powerbomb plants Rollins and everything breaks down for a bit as Owens makes the save.
Owens and the Profits get kicked to the floor so Walter goes up, only to get superplexed right back down. The hot tag brings in Owens to take over and a Swanton gets two on Aichner. Everything breaks down again and Ford hits a huge flip dive, which lands on the announcers’ table for a scary landing. Back in and Rollins Stomps Wolfe for the pin at 6:40.
Rating: C+. Imperium is an idea that isn’t very complicated but the four of them execute things so well that it’s hard not to be impressed. They’re just good at what they do and you want to see them beat people up. Walter is the star of the team, but the other three have come up very nicely and the whole thing has turned into one of the best things about NXT UK.
Cedric Alexander vs. Andrade
Andrade sends him into the corner to start but a dropkick cuts him off in a hurry. One heck of a clothesline drops Cedric and we hit the armbar. That doesn’t last long as Cedric sends him outside for the suicide dive. Zelina Vega offers a distraction though and it’s the discus elbow into the hammerlock lariat for the pin at 3:26.
Rating: C. Another match that didn’t have time to go anywhere though I rather approve of Andrade getting another win. The guy is that good and it is a good sign to have him getting a push. The action wasn’t that bad either, though I’m already over the distraction finishes tonight. Why is that almost all we can get?
Aleister Black talks about someone having a secret and wants a certain someone who has one to pick a fight with him.
Various wrestlers say happy Veterans Day.
Veterans Day video.
Here is Lana for a chat. She’s here to confess her sins, even though Lashley, her boyfriend and the love of her life, didn’t want her to. The truth is that she treated on Rusev, but don’t boo her. Rusev cheated on her first so it’s not her being petty. Seven weeks ago, she and Lashley had sex together for the first time. How does she know it was seven weeks ago? It’s because it’s their sexaversary. Lana: “I’m telling you wow, wow WOW.”
She believe in monogamy and now she is dealing with all of these people complaining about her because she fell in front of the world. Last week she got taken out and everything is fine (Lana: “My legs are VERY fine.”)….though she is nine weeks pregnant. Lawler starts doing the math but Lana gets to the point: her sex addicted soon to be ex-husband put a little machka brat inside her. Lana: “THAT BULGARIAN SON OF A B****!” She could feel herself getting fat and bloated but here’s Rusev to interrupt.
Lana rants about everywhere Rusev wanted to have sex with her (including on the tank at Wrestlemania) but Rusev doesn’t seem to buy the pregnancy. Lana: “ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???” She slaps him several times so here’s Lashley to cut things off. Lana even jumps on Rusev’s back so Lashley can beat Rusev down as Lana is rather pleased. Lashley and Lana walk away together with Lana saying she faked the whole pregnancy. This is amazing on a horrible level as they are tripling down on the whole thing and giving it even more time.
Erick Rowan vs. Soner Durson
Rowan comes to the ring carrying something under a covering. Durson is sent outside and crushed with a running crossbody. The Iron Claw is good for the pin at 1:09.
Post match Rowan checks on whatever he brought to ringside and makes sure that no one touched it. He leaves without showing what it was.
Flash Morgan Webster/Mark Andrews vs. Viking Raiders
Non-title. Webster tries to start fast but his dive to the floor is pulled out of the air. Andrews hits a suicide dive though and it’s a pair of stereo flip dives onto the Raiders. Back in and Stundog Millionaire sets up Webster’s Swanton for two on Erik. That goes nowhere as Erik is fine enough to hit a double high collar suplex (that’s scary), setting up Ivar’s dive to take both of them out. Erik drives Ivar into the corner to crush Webster and the Viking Experience finishes Andrews at 3:05.
Rating: C. This was a rather fun match with Webster and Andrews giving it all in their big chance. They have gone from what seemed to be a short form team to one of the best things about NXT UK. I was even starting to think they might have tried something here with a surprise upset and that means they did this exactly as they should have.
Ricochet worried about teaming with Orton, who says let him get in the OC’s heads.
Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar.
OC vs. Humberto Carrillo/Ricochet/Randy Orton
Ricochet grabs Anderson by the arm to start and it’s off to Orton to take over. Orton tags out to Carrillo by slapping him in the chest, so Carrillo twists AJ’s arm around as well. A multiple springboard sets up a very high angle wristdrag into an armbar as Carrillo gets to show off a bit.
Ricochet hits a springboard spinning crossbody but Orton isn’t happy with being knocked off the apron as we take a break. Back with Carrillo’s springboard armdrag being countered into a faceplant to put him in trouble. Carrillo fights out in a hurry and it’s off to Ricochet, who gets beaten up in the corner instead.
Gallows drops an elbow and the big leg before he stops to knock Orton off the face. AJ comes in but gets kicked in the face, allowing Ricochet a breather. The hot tag brings in Carrillo to clean house but he misses the moonsault. That’s enough for the tag to Orton, who starts hitting his usual on AJ. Orton teases the RKO to Ricochet but takes AJ out instead, setting up the moonsault to give Carrillo the pin at 15:40.
Rating: C. Completely standard tag match formula outside of the ending angle. Orton could go for a face turn a long heel stretch but you can’t just jump straight in with someone like him. That’s all well and good, though the turn on Ricochet isn’t out of the question. I like the idea of giving Carrillo the pin, but I don’t think it’s something that is going to change much after his multiple losses to Styles.
Post match Orton and Ricochet stare at each other, with Orton saying he can take Ricochet out whenever and wherever he wants.
Overall Rating: C-. Yeah this was a very England show with the wrestling being as average as you can get with nothing standing out. The Lashley/Lana/Rusev stuff was pretty terrible but I’ll take what I can get in the vein of having Imperium show up. They need to get back to the States for the go home shows, but they also need to have a rest at some point as you can see how tired a lot of these people are. That isn’t good with a major show coming up, but there is always a major show coming up and it’s taking its toll.
Results
Kabuki Warriors b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch – Rollup to Lynch
Drew McIntyre b. Sin Cara – Claymore
R-Truth vs. Singh Brothers went to a no contest
Seth Rollins b. Walter via DQ when Imperium interfered
Seth Rollins/Street Profits/Kevin Owens b. Imperium – Stomp to Wolfe
Erick Rowan b. Soner Durson – Iron Claw
Viking Raiders b. Flash Morgan Webster/Mark Andrews – Viking Experience to Andrews
Randy Orton/Humberto Carrillo/Ricochet b. OC – Moonsault to Styles
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2015 Redo): The Early War
IMG Credit: WWE
Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz
This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.
As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.
Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit
Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.
As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.
A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.
WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.
Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.
Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.
Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.
Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus
Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.
The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.
Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.
Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.
We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.
Ric Flair vs. HHH
Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.
Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.
Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.
That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.
HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.
HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.
Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.
Flair goes out on a stretcher.
Trish and Mickie are online.
Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.
Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.
After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).
We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.
Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena
Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.
The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.
Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.
Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.
Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.
Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long
Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.
The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.
Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.
The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.
We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.
Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown
Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters
Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.
Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.
The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.
Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.
Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.
Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.
Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.
We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.
Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.
Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.
Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.
The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.
Ratings Comparison
Booker T vs. Chris Benoit
Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B+
Trish Stratus vs. Melina
Original: B
2012 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
HHH vs. Ric Flair
Original: B-
2012 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: B
John Cena vs. Kurt Angle
Original: B+
2012 Redo: C
2015 Redo: B-
Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff
Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)
2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)
2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)
Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw
Original: B
2012 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B+
Overall Rating
Original: B
2012 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
And the redo:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: