IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: GCW

Orange Cassidy Is Doing Something Or Whatever Who Knows???
Date: April 6, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Sarah Shockey

I think it’s safe to say that this is one of the most unique titles I’ve ever seen. This is a replacement show from Wrestlemania weekend with a one off card to replace the Dragon Gate show after the promotion fell through. It feels like a bunch of shows that I’ve seen from the weekend but Cassidy is entertaining enough on his own. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Orange Cassidy to start things off and I don’t know if I’ve ever heard him talk. Cassidy slowly introduces himself and asks a fan at the bar to do the ring announcing. The fan gets in, is told that he’s the wrong guy, and the right one gets in. Cassidy can’t find the match card, which Sarah says is so indy wrestling. The announcer tells Cassidy to hold his jacket, which Cassidy throws at the ropes. As luck would have it, the guy just happens to be former Chikara ring announcer Gavin Loudspeaker. It’s like that time with Santino Marella being pulled out of the crowd. You never know how lucky you can get.

Allie Kat vs. Kris Statlander vs. Saraya Knight vs. Shotzi Blackheart

Statlander is like an old friend at this point. This is a Swamp Monster lumberjack elimination match and Saraya is better known as Paige’s mom. Naturally the lumberjacks are in swamp monster gear as the commentators rant about how worthless it is to be trending. The fans are behind Kat with the MEOW chants and she lays down, asking Saraya to pat her belly because it’s an honor to be in the ring with her.

Saraya kicks her instead and does the same to a concerned Kris. A slap to a swamp monster does very little as the announcers try to figure out why the monsters aren’t sending Kris and Allie back in. Saraya takes Shotzi to the top, punches her low, and throws them onto the monsters. Kris rolls Saraya up for two and is asked what the f*** she is doing. Saraya: “You’re a f****** alien, a f****** wolf and a f****** cat. Are you f****** kidding me?”

That earns her a triple teaming, which Sarah thinks is the spinach to her Popeye. A running forearm in the corner sets up a triple pin to get rid of Saraya at 3:13. Crowd: “BREXIT!” We’re down to three and Kris uses mind control to make the other two collide with each other. Everyone winds up outside and the swamp monsters continue to just stand around. Shotzi gets on the apron, tries a running start, and drops to her knee to punch Kris.

The monsters pick Shotzi up and walk her around so she can kick Shotzi in the face as commentary is ripping this apart (in a nice way). A running dive off the apron takes Allie and Kris down as the fans want to see something. Back in and Shotzi hits an enziguri on Kris (who is taking a beating here), followed by a top rope backsplash for the elimination at 7:04. We’re down to Allie vs. Shotzi, with the two of them colliding in the corner.

They forearm it out until Allie ties her in the ropes to claw at Shotzi’s chest. Allie teases a suicide dive but decides that she’s scared and stops. Crowd: “SCAREDY CAT!” She tries it again and slowly crawls onto the arms of the monsters, which the crowd declares PAWSOME. Back in and Shotzi hits a running splash in the corner and a DDT right back out of the corner gets two. The top rope backsplash misses though and Allie hits a piledriver for the pin at 11:11.

Rating: C. Oh this is going to be a long night and that’s a good thing. This was a lot of goofy fun, which is exactly what this show is supposed to be. You can’t have the most serious show in the world under these circumstances so don’t waste your time trying. Do something different and have a good time, which is what happened here. Except for Saraya, who seems rather angry about everything.

Bryce Remsburg gets a big introduction, as he should.

Logan Easton LaRoux vs. Chris Brookes

This is 7/13 falls and LaRoux is a rich guy. Brookes kicks him low for the DQ at 10 seconds. The second fall begins and Brookes’ partner Kid Lykos comes in for another low blow and the second DQ at 42 seconds. Brookes grabs something like an Octopus Hold for the tap at 1:24, which Sarah says is treating him Logan Easton LaRoux-edly.

Logan chops away (Sarah: “Trading chops like Pogs.”) before grabbing a sunset flip but Brookes sits down on it for the pin….and then Logan gets the flip for the pin….and then Brookes reverses for another pin….and then they alternate until it’s 6-6 (with one two count in the middle to freak the fans out) at 2:59. Logan hits a dropkick and a running kick in the corner sets up a suplex for two. Brookes is right back with a middle rope backsplash to the standing Logan for two as the announcers think it should be 6-5.

With Brookes caught in something like an abdominal stretch, Lykos puts a mask on Remsburg to blind him. Brookes’ low blow is blocked and Logan hits an enziguri for no count. Lykos comes in to cheat but gets kicked low as Remsburg is still fighting with the mask. As the mask comes off, Brookes feigns having been kicked low but Remsburg doesn’t buy it and throws the mask at Lykos. To keep the pace up, Brookes grabs a small package for the final pin at 6:55.

Rating: C+. What am I even supposed to say to this one? This was another very entertaining match as they’re not even trying to do anything serious on this show. That was the case again here and that pinfall exchange sequence was great stuff. They didn’t bother with anything stupid that would take too much time and just went with the fun idea instead. I’m wanting to see what they do next and that’s a nice feeling.

Tony Deppen vs. Lucky 13 vs. Jigsaw vs. Air Wolf vs. Dan Champion vs. Jake Atlas vs. Sonny Defarge

The winner gets a $16.34 Friendly’s gift card. At the same time, it is announced as the 3^rd Annual Jansport Backpack Orange Cassidy Invitational Scramble, meaning the announcers make Jansport jokes throughout the entrances. Champion gets sextuple dropkicked to the floor as the announcers laugh about some of the novelty Jansport products available. Deppen spins out of a headscissors attempt but gets taken down by a very springboardy wristdrag. Multiple F bombs are dropped as Atlas spins around him and cartwheels into a standoff.

Wolf and Jigsaw come back in for the stereo submission attempts but stop to slap each other. Jigsaw is sent outside and Defarge takes his place to kick Wolf outside. 13 comes in and kicks Defarge to set up moonsault knees to the chest. Defarge is back up with a spinning kick to the chest in the corner with Champion having to make the save. Champion backdrops 13 over the top for a messy DDT onto Defarge onto the apron, followed by a Nightmare Pendulum into a backbreaker.

A heck of a TKO plants 13 again and it’s a suplex to Jigsaw for a bonus. Atlas and Wolf get double chokeslammed but Deppen pulls Champion outside. Deppen hits a VERY hard suicide dive onto Defarge and Jigsaw, followed by 13 with a corkscrew moonsault onto everyone. Atlas isn’t being outdone and hits a springboard spinning dive of his own. Champion, the biggest guy in the match, dives onto everyone as well and that’s enough to even get him Champion cheered.

Back in and Champion powerbombs Atlas for two with Jigsaw making the save. Deppen gets suplexed for two but 13 comes off the top with a backsplash for another save. Atlas makes his own save and cartwheels into a cutter on Deppen, followed by a cartwheel on the top into a DDT for two more. Wolf makes the save this time and knees Atlas in the face. This time it’s Defarge making a save and clotheslining the heck out of Wolf.

Champion breaks that up and poses at Defarge with Deppen breaking that up for some posing of his own. Champion and Defarge have had it with Deppen and throw him to the floor, but an attempt to the same to Jigsaw is blocked. The Jig and Tonic (over the back kneeling piledriver) finishes Defarge at 11:54.

Rating: B-. In a way, this was the least interesting match of the night as it felt like it could have been on any given indy show this weekend. Actually that’s because there was a scramble in the same building the night before, featuring a group kick to the biggest guy to start and Atlas as one of the wrestlers. This was fun, but when they literally did something that similar the night before, it loses some effect.

Gavin talks about how awesome Wrestlemania will be, or as he calls it, Fastlane Part II.

Session Moth Martina vs. Nate Webb

This is the It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere Drunken Match, meaning that every thirty seconds, the wrestlers have to chug a beer. Webb gets a big entrance and sings his own theme, complete with playing Remsburg’s leg like a guitar. Webb even starts drinking on his way to the ring, seemingly without much of a tolerance. Remsburg starts dancing and is already the biggest star of the night.

Martina brings in even more beer and starts dancing in front of Remsburg as I don’t know if I’m old enough for this show. Remsburg: “God help us all. RING THE BELL!” They slug it out to start with Webb getting the better of things and a confused Martina swinging at Remsburg. Hang on though as we need to stop for the required beer. They stagger around and forearm each other with Martina slapping at Remsburg some more. And now, more beer. Sarah: “Why couldn’t this be a Gatorade chugging competition???”

They hit the ropes and collapse on their faces, meaning it’s time for another beer. Martina gets fired up as Webb goes outside, leaving her to….run the ropes to the point of exhaustion. Beer time ensues again and Martina falls down again. Webb brings in some chairs and they sit down for another beer. Martina gets knocked out of the chair but gets back up just in time for the next beer. A knee to Webb’s face sets up a half crab but they manage to drink even in the hold.

Webb is smart enough to spit his into Martina’s face for the break, leaving Martina to slam him down. Martina’s top rope Codebreaker gets two and of course, another beer. Webb hits a half nelson faceplant but Martina is up to spit beer in his face. As Martina loads up a superplex, they are still able to get some beers in. Martina plants him for two and they’re already needing to drink again. A double clothesline gives us a double pin at 7:41.

Rating: D-. And I hesitate to call this anything close to wrestling. This one completely missed for me, though that might be because I don’t drink so this is all completely foreign. It was the same joke over and over again and it didn’t really change anything in the, ahem, match. It didn’t work watching it, though the fans seemed to like it live, which seems to be the point.

And now, a dodge ball competition! There are ten people here (MJF with his scarf around his head is glorious) and I have a feeling a ten person tag is about to break out. We need captains to pick teams though so here are Veda Scott and Faye Jackson. It’s time for a quick draft with the following lineups:

Blue: Faye Jackson/Wheeler Yuta/Terra Calaway/Arik Royal/Red Eagle

Red: Veda Scott/Jeff Cannonball/Veda Scott/Daniel Makabe/Sage Phillips

MJF isn’t picked, with Jackson dropping a nice F bomb before picking Eagle to complete her team. Therefore, MJF grabs both dodge balls and leaves, making himself the most entertaining man on the show all over again. Since there are no dodge balls, let’s have a mixed tag! The fans boo and start a WRESTLING SUCKS chant. Denver: “WRESTLING FANS ARE STUPID!”

Team Blue vs. Team Red

Blue: Arik Royal/Faye Jackson/Red Eagle/Terra Calaway/Wheeler Yuta

Red: Daniel Makabe/Jeff Cannonball/Sage Phillips/Shazza McKenzie/Veda Scott

Fans: “DODGE BALL IS REAL!” The rather large Cannonball (who looks like King Kong Bundy’s son) and Calaway start things off and slug it out, with Denver saying that these two are engaged. Well that’s rather appropriate. Cannonball gets knocked down and sits in the corner so Calaway asks for a hug. That’s not happening as Cannonball ducks the hug and chops her.

Yuta comes in and rolls over Shazza, setting up a loud dropkick. It’s off to Sage, as Sarah seems to enjoy the mesh jerseys. Royal hits a claw slam as the lack of tags is strong here. Eagle dropkicks Makabe to the floor and it’s Scott coming in to take him down, only to get scared off by Jackson. Some running hip attacks from Faye crush Veda in the corner but a rake to the eyes gets Veda out of trouble.

With an assist from the ref, Veda walks the rope (Veda to ref: “Thank you!”) and dives onto everyone, triggering the parade of dives until the rather large Royal hits one of his own. Makabe cuts off Yuta’s dive with an abdominal stretch of all things but Terra pulls out a dodge ball for the save, triggering another chant.

Yuta grabs it and tosses it at the pile, followed by a big dive. Sarah: “Yuta utilized it to perfection!” Crowd: “STUPID SEXY YUTA!” Even Jackson hits a dive of her own but Cannonball can’t get over the top. Instead he hits the rope and gets Crossfaced by Terra. Cannonball: “I WANT TO DIVE!” Blue comes in for a quintuple submission at 9:43.

Rating: C. It was fun but it felt a bit like the scramble, meaning it wasn’t quite as entertaining as it could have been. I’ve seen a lot of matches like this before and it felt like it was following a formula for this style. The dodge ball stuff was entertaining, though that might have been MJF.

A fan wins…..a piece of swamp monster!

Gavin is glad we had a wrestling match because Ronda Rousey thinks dodge ball is BS.

And now, Teddy Hart with his cat, to the Reading Rainbow theme. The fans seem to be more interested in the cat. Teddy says that Mr. Velvet (the cat if that isn’t clear) has a black belt in making people smile. He talks about being divorced twice and being in jail twice but he wanted to come to Wrestlemania weekend.

This isn’t just a WWE event because it’s about all kinds of wrestling. He’s liking this place too because the crowd is intelligent and knows that wrestling is everything from dodge ball to him carrying a cat. Teddy talks about how he wants to put smiles on faces and wrestling isn’t about watching a screen, Vince McMahon cutting a promo and people in the back writing a script. He puts over Orange Cassidy and asks him to come out here, so here’s Orange to meet Mr. Velvet. Orange picks up the cat so Teddy can wrap a scarf around him. Now for the book: If I Was A Kitty.

Teddy gets one page (work with me here) in and gets cut off by a GCW chant. A line in the book says that if Teddy was a cat, his nose would be crinkly. Fans: “HOLY S***!” Teddy doesn’t quite know how to handle that a moonsault gets less of a reaction than “my nose would be crinkly.” Teddy: “Maybe less is more.” He finishes the book, which he admits he memorized because he can’t read. That’s one of the most bizarre moments I’ve ever seen and I think they’ve got something here. Just…..this. And then Teddy throws his cat in the air and catches it for the gasp of the night.

Shinjiro Otani vs. Jonathan Gresham

This is announced as a wrestling match, which is booed out of the building. A handshake starts us off and Otani grabs the arm. Gresham spins out without much trouble and Otani has to applaud. Another counter sequence gives us a second standoff but Gresham makes the mistake of chopping in the corner. Gresham takes him down a few times and starts kicking at the arm to take over. With the left arm in trouble, Gresham starts in on the right arm so Otani rolls away for a breather.

Otani can’t slam his way out of an armbar and the fans are rather impressed by that one. A legsweep takes Gresham down and it’s the signature facewash in the corner. The fans are rather pleased so we see it again, with Otani kicking his second in the face again as well. Actually we’ll make it three times for a bonus. Gresham trips him into the corner though and nails a running dropkick. That just ticks Otani off so he forearms Gresham in the face over and over. The slugout goes to Otani until a dragon suplex gives him two. A helicopter bomb finishes Gresham at 7:53.

Rating: B-. It was cool to see a legend like Otani here, even though he feels like he got lost and wound up on a show like this. You had to have a wrestling match here and putting someone like Gresham in there was the best idea they had. Otani was one of the best things about the show so far, mainly because he was something different. This was a rather solid match and the kind of thing the show needed.

Respect is shown post match.

Chuck Taylor vs. Trent?

One minute time limit. Chuck throws a shirt at him and they shove each other around as we’re halfway done. They lock up and the bell rings for the time limit at 1:03. Fans: “MATCH OF THE YEAR!”

Hang on though as we’re getting five more seconds.

Chuck Taylor vs. Trent?

Trent rolls him up for the pin at four seconds.

Post match Chuck yells at Remsburg, who snaps off a headscissors. Remsburg and Trent do the big hug, which is NOT cool with Chuck. They tease a fight and then hug, with Sarah being very pleased.

Nick Gage vs. Ultramantis Black

Gage’s GCW World Title isn’t on the line and this is a Yuletide Death Match because that’s all Gage can be asked to do. A bunch of wrestlers who haven’t been on the show and Air Wolf bring in all kinds of Christmas decorations/various weapons as I have a bad feeling about this one. Black runs him over and Gage gets annoyed at getting caught in the Christmas tree wrapped in barbed wire.

A running dropkick sends Black through the barbed wire board, allowing us to see his Christmas tattoos and mask. Black is tied up in the wire but manages to get untied and low bridge Gage to the floor. Gage throws a chair at his leg to break up a dive off the apron, followed by a whip through some chairs. Another chair is thrown at Black’s head and Gage takes another barbed wire board and drops it wire first on Black.

Somehow Black is right back with a DDT onto a chair but Gage posts him. They get back in with Black getting his knees up to block a middle rope elbow. A full nelson slam onto the barbed wire tree gives Black two and it’s time for the tacks. Of course Gage is right back up to DDT him onto the tacks for two, with the fans wanting the referee dead.

Now the middle rope elbow onto the tree onto Black connects, followed by a swinging neckbreaker onto the tacks. Gage grabs a pair of chairs and puts a board covered in ornaments between them. The superplex through them makes Black cringe and gets two. Black’s comeback goes nowhere and Gage hits a chokebreaker for the pin at 13:10.

Rating: D. I really can’t stand this kind of “wrestling” and I can’t stand Gage even more so this wasn’t exactly my favorite thing in the world. Gage never loses in these things so it wasn’t like there was much doubt. This has never been my style and Gage continues to feel like a lost relic from 2002 indy wrestling, making this pretty easily my least favorite thing on the show.

Post match MJF comes in to chair Gage in the head because I don’t like him enough yet. MJF isn’t happy about not being picked first or about this being fake HAHA nonsense. He’s the only real wrestler in the ring but here’s Cassidy to interrupt. MJF: “ARE YOU A F****** IDIOT???” He explains the idea of a sneak attack so Cassidy blows orange juice in his face. Gage is back up for another chokebreaker and Black lays MJF out as well. Gage and Black put on sunglasses of their own and they exchange hand signals. Cassidy says we can go home now to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Jim Cornette fan in me is appalled but I had a great time watching this one. This show made no secrets about what they were going for and they ran with it. There are no long term stories here and it’s just a bunch of people throwing together a show for the sake of throwing together a show. The jokes were funny, the atmosphere was great and I was laughing more than once as I wanted to see what they came up with next. As a wrestling show it’s a nightmare but as two hours and forty five minutes of entertainment, it was a blast. Oh and Sarah Shockey is the most adorable commentator ever.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2005
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re about a month away from Wrestlemania and things are starting to come into shape. The big story coming out of Monday affects Smackdown as well as Kurt Angle agreed to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and left him a bloody mess. Tonight is going to be more about John Cena vs. JBL and that’s what matters more than anything else around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of JBL’s celebration last week with Big Show John Cena breaking it up and wrecking a bunch of stuff.

Here’s Cena for a chat and he gets straight to the point: he’s sick of everything being about JBL. Who throws a party for themselves? JBL was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always had stocks, but a few years ago, Cena was spending his money to sit right out there with the fans. He’s spent all day making a sign to hold up and then spent his money to buy a foam finger or an old school ice cream bars with Doink the Clown on the front.

Last week Cena broke up JBL’s party because he wants to fight and since real recognizes real, these people don’t care about what JBL can buy. They want to see a fight but JBL doesn’t want one. This week, the fighting champion is fighting Orlando Jordan. The sheer apathy from the crowd is jarring. Then JBL can throw another party for himself and get an award for being the biggest b**** in the WWE. It doesn’t matter how long JBL has held the title because it’s all about how many days he has left with the title. At Wrestlemania, Cena is getting the title and that’s that. Fired up promo here, as is often the case with Cena.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

Reigns and Jindrak, who got in a brawl last week, are challenging here. Reigns starts and slaps Jindrak’s hand, which isn’t a tag for no logical reason. Some left hands in the corner have Eddie in trouble so it’s off to Jindrak vs. Rey in a hurry. Jindrak and Reigns take turns choking Mysterio on the ropes, followed by Jindrak cranking on both of Rey’s arms at once. Rey gets in the sitout bulldog but Reigns is right there to elbow Rey in the back.

A dropkick to the knee gets Rey a breather but Jindrak gets in a knee from the apron for the save. As tends to be the case, the tag goes through a few seconds later and Eddie gets to clean house. The champs’ ten punches in the corner are broken up so Rey hurricanranas Jindrak over the top. Two Amigos hit Reigns and Rey adds the springboard seated senton. The frog splash retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Perfectly acceptable for a quick opener but that’s all it was going to be. There was no reason to believe that Jindrak and Reigns were going to win the titles here, due to a combination of their issues last week and even WWE isn’t desperate enough to make Jindrak and Reigns champions. Rey and Eddie are good champions and can hold the titles until a better option comes around.

This week, Jindrak drops Reigns with one punch. To be fair, that was a great left hand, even if Cole thinks a straight punch and a hook are the same thing.

The announcers talk about Angle vs. Michaels.

The women talk about Angle attacking Shawn on Raw. Dawn Marie comes up to yell at them and gets a mixed tag with Michelle McCool for later. Dawn: “You’re going to learn who runs this locker room.” I can appreciate the idea of giving them stories, but this is going to be a disaster.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long, who hands him a shovel for his first job. Carlito can shovel snow outside to make sure the parking lot is safe. Keep in mind that Carlito has an arm in a sling. Carlito: “That’s not cool!” Long: “You’re right. That’s COLD!”

Video on Steve Austin in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No Way Out rematch because WWE wants to run off its audience. Booker jumps him at the bell as it’s time for some revenge (remember that Heidenreich hit him with a chair at No Way Out). Heidenreich gets stomped and chopped in the corner, followed by the hook kick to the shoulder. A boot to the face keeps Heidenreich in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor for a change.

Booker gets posted and you can feel the energy going away as Heidenreich takes over. And we were supposed to buy him as a threat to Undertaker for how long? The arm goes around the post and we hit an armbar as Heidenreich goes psychological. Booker fights up and hits some kicks for the comeback but gets turned inside out with a clothesline. Heidenreich tries the chair again so Booker kicks it into his face. A DDT onto the chair disqualifies Booker.

Rating: D-. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t interesting and it wasn’t anything positive. These two are terrible together as Heidenreich is somehow getting worse, to the point where someone as good as Booker can’t even do anything with him. Terrible waste of time here and there’s probably going to be a third.

A Few Good Men Wrestlemania trailer. Still one of the best of the bunch, if not the very best.

Here’s Angle to address the end of Raw. Angle is rather pleased with what he did and we see the rather bloody footage of him attacking Michaels. I mean, it’s in black and white which doesn’t exactly hide what happened, but it is kind of censored. Back in the arena, Angle can’t stop smiling. He thought it would be a fair fight at Wrestlemania but look at how beaten up Shawn is.

Angle was going to break Shawn’s ankle at the Rumble but security stopped him. Then Angle came to Raw and bloodied Shawn on his home turf. At Wrestlemania, it’s going to be an even worse beating when Angle proves that he is the best ever. As for tonight, let’s have a Kurt Angle Invitational. Someone comes out in a hoodie with his head covered but Angle doesn’t buy it. The hood comes off to reveal…..not Shawn. Angle: “I knew you weren’t Shawn Michaels!” The cameraman with the fake mustache though? That’s Shawn. The fight is on with Shawn beating up security until even more of them come out to break things up.

During the break, a calm Long had security escort Shawn out of the building, but there are no hard feelings.

Michelle McCool/Big Show vs. Dawn Marie/Rene Dupree

My goodness they managed to make it worse. Rene has a terribly black eye coming in. He’ll probably have it going out but he has it coming in too. The women start things off with Dawn shoving her down and then getting in a slap. Some standing on the hair ensues but just fires Michelle up for a crossbody. Michelle threatens her with the least intimidating right hand ever and gets kicked in the ribs. Dupree comes in for the French Tickler but a Show distraction lets Michelle get in a low blow. That means Show can come in for his own dance and it’s the chokeslam for the easy pin. This is a thing that happened.

Carlito pokes at the snow until a car splashes him with water. Cole: “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A JACKET ON!”

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame announcement.

Here’s a ticked off JBL for a chat. He wants to know why he deserved to have his celebration ruined last week. The common people around here need a hero like him and have no choice: he is their WWE Champion and they need to listen. They must respect him, especially John Cena, who has made a mockery of the US Title and himself. On the grandest stage of them all, JBL has to step into the ring with a piece of garbage like Cena. He goes on a rant about how his family can have the finest things in the world because they don’t have to be like Cena.

The people here have mamas who drink too much because their fathers leave. Now the people want to be like Cena and rhyme or put a ball in a hoop. They want him to provide them with a job but he can only have so many drivers, doormen and gardeners. The people are too stupid to recognize greatness and chant his name so he demands their respect. If he doesn’t receive the respect he deserves, he will walk out of this place right now. JBL does in fact leave and goes to the back, where he tells Orlando Jordan to win the title or be sent back to the hood.

This was an outstanding promo with JBL continuing to be a great talker throughout the last few months. He’s awesome at the comedy stuff but the serious promos were some outstanding ones as well. These things really did come off like he thought he was better than everyone else and that these people who supported Cena were beneath him. I wanted to see someone come out and shut him up, which is a pretty hard thing to pull off.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Rey and says that Eddie is waiting to turn on Rey. That seems to get inside Rey’s head.

Big Show and Joy Giovanni are in the back when Funaki comes up. He’s VERY excited because Akebono has challenged Big Show for Wrestlemania. Big Show doesn’t care what kind of a match it is because he’s in.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Recall: Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper at Wrestlemania III.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is defending. A quick rollup gives Cena two but Jordan actually gets in a headlock takeover. Cena isn’t having that and plants Jordan for the Shuffle as we take a break. Back with Jordan fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked right back down into the corner. Cena: “I HAVE UNTIL FIVE!” The chinlock goes on again but Jordan pokes him in the eye and gets two with his feet on the ropes. You don’t do that to Cena, who pounds down right hands in the corner (without using his left hand to make for a weird visual).

Jordan drops him face first onto the buckle for the break and some near falls. An elbow to the face gets two and Jordan grabs his own chinlock. This one is broken up with a belly to back suplex and they’re both down. The referee checks on Cena so Jordan grabs the chain, which is knocked out of his hands just as fast. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU, but here are the Bashams, who left with JBL earlier. JBL is here as well as Cena beats up the Bashams and it’s a belt shot to give Jordan the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Jordan has absolutely nothing but that’s what makes him the right choice to take the title from Cena. There is no one on the roster who can realistically hang with Cena so having a loser steal the title from him was a good way to go. Jordan isn’t going to feel like a real champion so having him be the lame version of the Honky Tonk Man works as well as anything else. Throw in JBL stealing the title from Cena and it’s even better.

Cole is FURIOUS to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Wow that was bad. JBL’s promo and the Angle/Shawn segment were both good but they were never going to be able to overcome everything else. They kept hyping up that we’re a month from Wrestlemania and we’re watching Booker T. vs. Heidenreich and Michelle McCool’s debut match? They’re teasing Rey vs. Eddie but I need something more than Big Show vs. Akebono. I know they have a few more weeks, but they’re taking their sweet time with adding some of the big stuff. We’re officially at four matches and while there is still time, there isn’t that much time. Pick it up a lot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: CHIKARA Pro

Once Upon A Beginning
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentator: Mike Quackenbush

This is from Chikara and if you haven’t seen or heard of them….I’m not sure what to tell you. Imagine a comic book come to life as a wrestling promotion with the most ridiculous, over the top stories (mind control, cavemen, a colony of various ants and I don’t know where else to keep going) in the history of wrestling. I don’t follow the promotion enough to know what’s going on here so let’s get to it.

Cornelius Crummels/Sonny Defarge vs. CCK

CCK (Chris Brookes/Kid Lykos) are rather big in Europe. Defarge and Crummels look like they belong around 1915 and are former Tag Team Champions. Lykos (under a mask) and Defarge start things off with Lykos calling for a brainbuster less than thirty seconds in. That’s broken up but Defarge misses a big boot, allowing Lykos to snap off a hurricanrana. Crummels tags himself in and blocks a hiptoss attempt and it’s off to Brookes for the first time.

A basement dropkick gives Brookes one but a slobber covered finger won’t go into Crummels’ mouth. Crummels puts it in Brookes’ mouth instead and it’s Defarge coming in for some cheating. That’s fine with Brookes who sends Crummels over Defarge for a sunset flip, setting up a catapult to make Crummels hit Defarge low. Lykos comes back in and gets chop blocked, sending him face first into Crummels’ knees.

A dropkick puts Lykos down for two and a running version in the corner gets the same. Lykos finally rolls away from Crummels and it’s back to Brookes as the pace picks up. Everything breaks down and Brookes is pulled outside so Lykos hits his own dive. Back in and Lykos’ Diamond Dust gets two on Crummels but Defarge sends Lykos outside. One heck of a clothesline gets two on Brookes but Lykos comes back in for a distraction.

Brookes nails a slingshot cutter with Crummels making the save. Back up and Brookes charges at Defarge but gets caught in a hanging piledriver to drop him again. Defarge powerbombs Brookes onto Crummels’ knees with Lykos making a save this time. Lykos goes up top so Crummels uses Defarge as a launchpad for a super monkey flip for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: D+. Not great here with the action getting a little messy at times. It doesn’t help that Crummels and Defarge look enough alike that it was hard to keep them apart. The other problem is this didn’t feel like a Chikara match and could have been on just about any show over the weekend. Not terrible, but run of the mill at best.

Missile Assault Man vs. Boomer Hatfield

Assault Man is rather serious while Boomer (I’m assuming Dash’s brother/cousin/mystic spirit dragon given where we are) wears a baseball mask. Assault starts fast and throws him around, setting up a heck of a clothesline. It’s time to start stomping on Hatfield’s leg but the Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work.

Instead it’s a northern lights suplex into an elbow as Assault isn’t wasting time here. Boomer armdrags his way out of a fireman’s carry and a headscissors sends Assault outside. Back in and Boomer’s high crossbody is countered into a reverse Razor’s Edge to send him face first into the buckle (looked rather awesome, though it could go badly at the same time) for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a squash here but I can see why Assault is considered a monster. It helps when Hatfield isn’t that big and can get beaten up so easily. They mentioned that he was a rookie as well so it was a rather simple formula. Sometimes you need a squash like this one to make someone look good and it worked well for Assault here.

The win gives Assault three points, meaning he can challenge for the World Title.

Cam Zigani/Arik Cannon/Hallowicked/Hermit Crab vs. Jigsaw/Razerhawk/Stokely Hathaway/Thunderfrog

Everyone here has held the Young Lions Cup before and this is going to be a match where I’m trying to tell who is who. Hathaway is Chuck Taylor, which must be a joke that they’re not going to explain. Zigani and Razerhawk start things off with Razerhawk hand walking into a headscissors, followed by a springboard armdrag (required around here). That’s enough to send Zigani over for a tag to Cannon, who gets to face Hathaway.

A wristlock nearly has Arik tapping until he reverses into one of his own, which has the fans chanting PLEASE DON’T TAP. The short form technical wrestling sets up a double tag to Jigsaw and Hallowicked, who have a long history together. They go to the mat to start with Hallowicked getting the better of the grappling but not being able to do anything against his bridge on the mat.

A pinfall reversal sequence gives us a standoff and the fans politely applaud. Jigsaw hits a middle rope hurricanrana into a double stomp for two and it’s off to Crab vs. Thunderfrog, complete with Thor style hammer. Crab goes with a nerve hold but gets caught in an airplane spin, plus one in the other direction ala Tyler Bate. Thunderfrog’s Cannonball (WAY too common of a move in so many promotions these days) looks to set up a Vader Bomb but everything breaks down for the big brawl instead.

That means Thunderfrog’s team hitting ten punches in every corner until quadruple atomic drops break it up. We settle down to Cam neckbreakering Thunderfrog and Jigsaw getting the two. Cannon’s snapmare gets two as the Thunderfrog beating continues in the corner. Crab gets two more off a suplex but Hallowicked walks into a Blue Thunder Bomb. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Jigsaw so things can pick up a bit.

Stokely comes in to take over but he has to beat up Cannon and Hallowicked at the same time. The Falcon Arrow gets two as the fans chant for Hathaway. Soul Food connects but a Sky High gives Hallowicked two. Cannon hits a brainbuster for two on Jigsaw but Thunderfrog sends him to the floor for a big flip dive.

Back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, with Razerhawk handspring elbowing Hallowicked and Hermit Crab. Things slow down a bit as we seem to be getting ready for the big spot. Cannon tells the referee something and the ring mostly clears out. Zigani can’t superplex Razerhawk so Thunderfrog grabs his big hammer and strikes the mat to knock everyone down. Razerhawk hits a Swanton to finish Zigani at 17:48.

Rating: C. I’m going to be as nice as I can here and say that this was messy. There were eight people there with a lot of stories and characters that aren’t explained, which makes this feel like a joke we’re not in on. This is one of those shows that should be designed to draw in some fans and it seemed that we were supposed to know everything that was going on coming in, including that Stokely/Taylor deal. It was a fun spot fest, but it could have been a lot better with a little less time and more explanation.

Hold on though as Thunderfrog forgets his hammer and since no one can lift it, we have to wait for him to come back and get the thing.

Air Wolf vs. A-Kid

This could be good and these two were very familiar faces over the weekend. They hit the mat to start with Wolf working on an armbar to limited avail due to a twisting escape. A-Kid goes with a headscissors on the mat before switching off to a headlock. Some quick flips let A-Kid hit a dropkick and we take a breather until Wolf can pull himself out of the corner. Wolf is fine enough to hit a kick to the chest and a snap suplex gets two.

The Rings of Saturn have A-Kid in more trouble and Wolf twists the wrist around to make it even worse. That’s broken up so Wolf hits a spinning gutbuster for two. Wolf tries some kicks to the chest but A-Kid blocks one and strikes away to take over. The triangle choke is broken up in a hurry and they hit stereo bicycle kicks for a double knockdown. Back up and A-Kid gets two off a northern lights suplex but Wolf kicks him into the ropes.

That means a 619 between the bottom ropes to send A-Kid outside. You know that means the big old dive to the floor and Wolf hits a somewhat messy dive back inside for two. Some attempts at a double underhook something don’t work as A-Kid is right back up with a sliding German suplex. A missile dropkick gives A-Kid two and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here.

The slugout goes to Wolf but A-Kid pulls him down into another triangle choke. Wolf powers him up but A-Kid jumps forward with a Canadian Destroyer in a sweet counter. A-Kid puts him on top, where Wolf hits a swinging butterfly superplex for another double knockdown. They head up top again but this time A-Kid catches him with a super Spanish Fly for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: B. Yeah this was a blast with both guys working as hard as they could and having a competitive match without going too nuts with the high flying. Sometimes a match like this is one high spot after another but they were trading spots here instead of going as crazy as they could. That was a very nice change of pace and I had a much better time with this one than I was expecting to.

Post match, respect is shown.

Here’s Juan Francisco de Coronado for a chat, though he breaks with his tradition of coming to the ring slower than Undertaker. He says his name is NOT Juan Francisco de Coronado and he has fallen on some hard times as of late. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” He’s been having some personal and financial issues, including losing his Ecuadorian citizenship and has had to use his body to pay off debts. It has made him do some soul searching and there has been one constant in his brain: maybe he isn’t good enough. Maybe he would be better off if he just quit.

The fans are split on that one but one other thing has been on his mind: on this weekend, no one has come here to see him. Maybe it’s time for him to make a change. He is no longer Juan Francisco de Coronado. Now he is John Francis of Coronado. And that’s it. Given that it’s Chikara, I would expect this story to go on for the next three years.

Young Lions Cup: Still Life With Apricots and Pears vs. Carlos Romo

Still Life is defending and is basically an art project come to life, complete with being identified as “they” instead of he or she. The Cup is full of flowers to keep things a little off. Still Life pulls him in by the arm off a handshake offer and it’s an early start on Romo’s leg. Romo is right back up with a leg lariat for two as the announcers try to figure out where the bullseye is on Still Life considering all the other paint. It’s right back to Romo’s leg with some cranking on the mat.

Back up and Still Life kicks him in the ribs but Romo hits a chop in the corner, which just seems to hurt his own hand. Still Life dropkicks him in the leg for two but a spinning toehold is countered into a small package for two. A running knee to the head drops Still Life and it’s time to strike away at the champ. Romo hits a springboard spinning cutter (cool) but misses a moonsault that would have gone too far, even if Still Life hadn’t moved. Something close to a reverse/inverted Figure Four (a modified Venus Flytrap called Venus de Milo) retains the Cup at 5:53.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of stuff that I like to see from Chikara as you could never get away with something like Still Life elsewhere. That’s what makes it more interesting: it might not work elsewhere, but it works here. That takes some serious world building and Chikara has done it for a very long time now. Let that go somewhere and they’ll turn him into a star, because that’s what they know how to do around here.

Princess Kimber Lee vs. The Whisper

They’re the reigning Tag Team Champions who don’t get along and are fighting each other here. It worked for Mysterio and Guerrero. Whisper is the Innovator of Silence and Lee is from the Suplex Kingdom. Lee doesn’t wait for the bell and starts throwing the German suplexes as we have an unlikely Brock Lesnar inspired character. She is on about her twelfth German suplex in a row and Whisper is done.

Another is broken up but Whisper can’t hit his own German suplex. Instead Lee elbows him in the face and starts rolling more German suplexes. Whisper finally gets in his own German suplex….and Lee no sells it. A kick to the head sets up a bridging German suplex to give Lee the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. It’s another storyline match, though this one was a little more charming than most of what you would get out of a Lesnar match. Whisper is similar to Still Life in that he is his own thing who is probably a lot more interesting around here, though he wouldn’t work all that well anywhere else. Lee is someone who fits a lot better around here than she did in NXT, which is perfectly fine for a lot of people. Not a good match, but it seemed to advance their story.

FIST vs. The Colony

That would be Tony Deppen/Icarus/Travis Huckabee (Friends in Similar Tights, a stable which has been around for a LONG time with a bunch of different members) vs. Fire Ant/Green Ant/Thief Ant (same thing, but they’re humanoid bugs). The brawl is on in a hurry as these teams apparently have a deep history (that’s downright terrifying around here) until it’s Icarus driving Green into the corner as the proper match starts.

Huckabee misses a knee drop and it’s time to start in on some kind of arm hold with Deppen making the save. Thief comes in and starts slowly punching away in the corner but Deppen sends him outside for a nasty looking suicide dive. Green hits his own corkscrew dive onto Deppen and Huckabee, leaving Icarus vs. Fire Ant, with the announcers talking about the long history between the two of them.

Fire sends him outside to set up the launched dive (the Antapult), leaving Deppen to get superkicked for two. Green and Deppen chop it out with FIST hitting a triple running kick in the corner for another two. Thief and Fire break up a second attempt and it’s a triple dropkick in the corner for two on Huckabee. A rollup is reversed into a Brock Lock on Fire but Thief makes the save and puts on one of his own (with commentary explaining that he can steal moves but not do them as well, which is pretty clever).

The Wings of Icarus (Pedigree) gets two on Icarus but Deppen is back up with a jumping knee to Thief’s face. Green gets the Chikara Special (pull on an arm and leg at the same time in a specific way) but Icarus makes the save with the Blu Ray (it’s a Death Valley Driver, but more dangerous than a DVD) for two.

Something close to Bandido’s 21 Plex drops Fire, who no sells the whole thing and kicks Icarus in the face for two. Huckabee takes Fire up top but Green breaks up what looked to be a butterfly superplex. Fire is right back up with a super hurricanrana into a double suicide dive. That leaves Green to try the Chikara Special, which Travis reverses into a Brock Lock with a bodyscissors for the tap at 9:47.

Rating: B-. This is a match where it seems the history would make this better but what we got here was a rather entertaining match. Chikara knows its trios matches and even with commentary talking about FIST getting a Tag Team Title shot soon, I wasn’t sure who was winning. The Colony is a very fun act and FIST is a good counterpart to them so I had a good time.

Director of Fun Bryce Remsburg thanks the fans for coming out (Which he does every time you come to a show, including person to person. I’ve talked to him a few times and he’s an incredibly nice guy.) but doesn’t think he’s right for the job anymore. Therefore, we have a new Director of Fun (GM): Sydney Bakabella.

This doesn’t sit well with Bryce, who leaves after a forced hug. Bakabella (WHERE DO THEY GET THESE NAMES???) talks about calling some of the great wrestling presidents, including Jack Tunny, Stanley Blackburn and Jim Barnett, who told him to take the job. He’ll be here to have fun and you can take the to the pay window. Fans: “YOU’RE NOT FUN!”

We recap the main event, complete with a graphic of Kimber Lee vs. Whisper. Mark Angelosetti was Grand Champion but got hurt, meaning he was allowed to choose an interim champion. That would be Dasher Hatfield, his former partner. Hatfield got a lot more confident by winning over and over again, but now Angelosetti is healthy again. Hatfield hit him with the title to go heelish, meaning it’s time for the title match between the former friends.

Grand Championship: Dasher Hatfield vs. Mark Angelosetti

Angelosetti is challenging, even though he should still be the official champion and it’s a ladder match. Hatfield wears a baseball themed mask and his theme music starts like the SportsCenter jingle. Angelosetti is Mr. Touchdown and somehow doesn’t come out to anything resembling the Monday Night Football theme. He does however have a song that seems to be called Welcome To Touchdown City, saying he is “better than Favre in a pair of jeans.”

They go straight to the slugout to start as Bryce bails to the floor at the bell in a smart move. They’re on the floor with Dasher getting the better of his step cousin in-law (given wrestling relations, I’m fine with it). A chop off goes to Angelosetti and he forearms Dasher in the face. They fight near the ladder with Dasher sending him back inside and the ladder following. Angelosetti goes for the first climb but is smart enough to drop down when Dasher gets back in. Why do so few people figure that out?

Angelosetti whips him back first into the ladder and hits some splashes in the vein of football up downs. Instead of a big one though, Angelosetti puts the ladder onto Dasher and then hits the splash to put in some pain. That’s enough to get a hand on the ladder but Dasher tips it over, sending Angelosetti onto the buckles, with Angelosetti sticking the landing. Again, in a way of keeping things simple, Dasher shoves him out to the floor instead of doing something dumb.

Dasher slams him legs first onto the apron and kicks at the leg for a bonus. A backdrop on the floor gets Angelosetti out of trouble and it’s time for the big ladder (required really). Instead of climbing up, Angelosetti hits a Cannonball in the corner as we hear about the history of ladder matches around here. All two of them. Dasher gets whipped into the regular ladder in the corner, which Dasher throws at the big one.

They go up the big ladder at the same time with Angelosetti belly to back suplexing him down for the next big crash. Angelosetti is down as well so Dasher gets in a shot to the leg. A shinbreaker onto the ladder in the corner has Angelosetti in real trouble for the first time. Like a good heel, Dasher ties him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the leg, followed by a baseball slide to send a ladder into Angelosetti’s face.

Dasher goes up but takes too long (of course), allowing Angelosetti to hit him with the other ladder. They go up a ladder each and the fans request that they don’t die. That means a double crash and they both bounce off the ropes for the knockdowns. Dasher is up first and gets creative by tying the big ladder vertically in the ropes, allowing him to whip Angelosetti into it for a cool visual.

It’s time to bring in some chairs but Angelosetti manages a spinebuster onto them, leaving a line on Dasher’s back for a painful visual. The big ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Angelosetti takes too long (the plague of ladder matches), allowing Dasher to wrap the leg around the ladder. In a creative spot, Dasher Pillmanizes the leg while Angelosetti is still standing on the ladder. Dasher grabs an elbow pad which apparently he used to cheat in a big tournament back in Season 15.

Instead of going for the belt, Dasher loads up a big elbow from the ladder, allowing Angelosetti to get up for a superplex off the ladder and the next big crash. The Flea Flicker (belly to back suplex into a pair of knees to the chest) knocks Dasher down again but hurts Angelosetti’s knee even more. Angelosetti climbs up the big ladder with the small one wedged in between to help with some bracing. Since that’s just dumb in a ladder match, Dasher Batista Bombs him through the regular ladder to kill Angelosetti for good. Dasher pulls down the title for the win at 24:35.

Rating: B+. This went a bit longer than it needed to and some of the spots took too long to set up, but the carnage and anger were both there. That’s what they were going for as these two seem to have been rather close before the title got between them. It’s worthy of a main event and it’s nice to have something of note happen on the show. What matters most here is how brutal this was and I had a good time watching it, though trimming five minutes would have helped a lot.

Overall Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the big matches delivered and there was more than enough good stuff throughout to make the show work. Chikara is one of, if not the most, unique promotions out there and it’s really cool to see some of their ideas in action. The main event feels bigger than anything else as the rest of the show came off as more like a showcase than a major show. To be fair though, that’s kind of what Wrestlemania weekend is all about for the indies, and this show would make me keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

Video on Axxess.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but dang man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s very freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: July 30, 2019
Location: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Aiden English, Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

It’s an interesting change of pace this week with General Manager Drake Maverick fighting Mike Kanellis for the sake of his wife’s honor. The fact that Mike’s wife is the only champion in the whole thing is just confusing. Other than that, we’re still in need of a #1 contender and I’m not sure if they have time to set up anything worthwhile. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Maverick vs. Kanellis, which has been going on since the spring. Mike’s wife Maria is demanding that he be a man and tonight, Mike is fighting to appease her as well. Why are the wives the most interesting part of this whole thing when they’re not even wrestlers? Anyway Mike finally pushed him too far and Drake is standing up for himself and his wife.

Brian Kendrick/Akira Tozawa vs. Singh Brothers

This is over a stolen Bollywood trophy, which is now awarded to the commentary team. Sunil starts fast and stomps Tozawa down in the corner but he strikes away and smiles, with the mouthpiece offering a nice bonus visual. Kendrick comes in for two off of Tozawa’s backsplash and it’s off to the armbar. A running enziguri/Downward Spiral combination gets two on Sunil but Samir breaks up a suicide headbutt attempt.

The dancing begins and now let’s talk about Charlotte vs. Trish Stratus because the match is that uninteresting. Tozawa fights out of a chinlock but gets hit in the ribs to put him right back down. The chinlock goes on again, only to have Tozawa fight up again. This time it’s an enziguri to Samir and the hot tag brings in Kendrick. A dropkick gives Kendrick two so it’s time to grab the award. Sunil hits Samir by mistake though and it’s Sliced Bread #2 into the top rope backsplash to give Tozawa the pin at 5:49.

Rating: D+. The Singh Brothers continue to be a one note act who overstay their welcome in a hurry. They’re fine in the ring but the dancing has been old for a long time now and they’re not likely to win a major match anytime soon. Hopefully they go away for a bit, or at least until they have someone else to face.

We get the last part of the Humberto Carrillo interview, this time talking about wanting to win the Cruiserweight Title and how awesome the 205 Live roster really is.

Lucha House Party is split on Carrillo, with Lince Dorado thinking a real luchador should wear a mask. Imagine Nigel and Vic’s response should that be the case.

Lince Dorado vs. Ariya Daivari

They trade wristlocks to start with Daivari mocking the LUCHA chants early on. Some early near fall attempts go nowhere but Daivari bails to the floor to avoid the Golden Rewind. That means a delayed dive from Dorado, followed by a springboard splash for two back inside. A running hurricanrana into a dropkick gives Dorado two but Daivari sends him outside in a big crash. The chinlock doesn’t last long back inside and Dorado makes it worse by blocking the Iconoclasm.

Daivari settles for a rather nice snap DDT for two but since he’s a bit of a cocky heel, he spends too much time mocking the Jerry Lawler middle rope punch. Dorado gets a boot up and Daivari heads outside, meaning it’s a slingshot dive. Back in and Dorado tries a very far dive, which is superkicked out of the air for two. The Billion Real Dream (eh good for a chuckle) is countered into a victory roll for two so Daivari hits a Rock Bottom for two of his own. Dorado is right back up and kicks Daivari in the head, setting up a spinning rollup into a jackknife pin at 9:47.

Rating: C+. This was a spotfest match and that made it one of the more entertaining things that they could have done. Then again I’ll always take Daivari’s boringness going away for another week so the upset was a good little bonus. It’s not like pushing Dorado as a singles guy is the worst idea so just see what they can do here.

Drew Gulak wants a challenger at Summerslam and if Mike Kanellis wins tonight, maybe he gets the title shot. Otherwise, Drew is back where he started and that doesn’t work. Whoever faces him at Summerslam is in for pain and punishment.

Drake Maverick vs. Mike Kanellis

Unsanctioned. Drake comes out to the 205 Live theme instead of his own song. Mike jumps him from behind during the entrances and Drake gets sent into the set. More whips send Drake into the barricade and Mike puts a sign in his face for a bonus. Since the bell hasn’t rung yet, Mike thinks that’s enough for a forfeit. Drake gets in and says ring the bell so Mike kicks him into the corner.

Mike shouts about following Drake’s rules for too long before sending him outside again. Another whip into the barricade takes Maverick down again and Mike does it a few more times for good measure. Drake gets sent face first onto the announcers’ table as Mike shouts about 205 being his brand. For a bonus, Drake gets put into a chair and superkicked out of it so Mike can be alone in the ring. A single right hand drops Maverick back inside and a huge clothesline….gets no cover as Kanellis takes Maverick’s belt off.

The whipping is on, followed by a sleeper to bring Maverick back to life (that hold has the worst success rate) and he sends a charging Kanellis to the floor. Another charge lets Kanellis catch Maverick though and it’s a swing into the barricade. Mike still won’t finish it though as he would rather go over and grab the Maria wanted posters off the announcers’ table. One of those goes into Maverick’s mouth but that fires Maverick up again. Maverick slugs and stomps away, setting up a running basement dropkick in the corner.

Now it’s Maverick whipping him with the belt and the suicide dive connects. A DDT onto the announcers’ table drops Kanellis again but the elbow drop from the barricade only hits table. Back in and Mike loads up his swinging neckbreaker but puts Drake on top instead. The super Razor’s Edge is countered into a super hurricanrana, setting up a Dudley Dog for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t sure what to think of this one but the more I think about it, the more I like it. They weren’t hiding what was going to happen in the end but it was entertaining on the way there. Maverick shouldn’t be wrestling all the time because he’s small even by 205 Live standards, but using him sparingly is fine as he has a ton of charisma and can go well in the ring. It told a nice story, as Kanellis’ career continues to die more and more.

Overall Rating: C. This was a storyline heavy show but it didn’t have the Cruiserweight Title stuff, which is on a much bigger time crunch. I’d assume that we’re going to get Oney Lorcan winning a big multi man match next week, but it would have been nice to set that up earlier. Either way, the show wasn’t that bad, but they need to set up the title match already, even if it isn’t likely to mean anything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #68
Date: July 27, 2019
Location: Cicero Stadium, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Jim Cornette

We’re getting closer to the end of the summer and that means things are getting a little better around here. Things have been that much more interesting over the last few months and the shows have been getting better as a result. This week’s main event is Contra vs. the Von Erichs in an unsanctioned match, which could go several different ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Salina de la Renta to rant about Mance Warner being annoying, though he did get rid of Sami Callihan for her. Tonight though she has someone from the firey pits to deal with Warner.

Bestia 666 vs. Mance Warner

Death match. Bestia isn’t waiting around and suicide dives onto Mance to get things going before the bell. Warner pelts a chair at him and rips at Bestia’s face before fishooking his mouth with a turnbuckle. As in the hook from a buckle, which just happened to be at ringside. Bestia is back with a whip into a barricade and grabs the kendo stick to blast Warner over the back.

Warner headbutts his way out again and tries a chop, which hits the post at full force to make me cringe again. The hand is fine enough for a DDT onto the apron, which is the closest they’ve gotten to being in the ring. Warner pulls out some weapons, including some chairs, a board and of course thumb tacks. The tacks go onto the chair but Bestia sends Warner face first into them instead. They FINALLY get in the ring with Bestia putting a trashcan over Warner and blasting him with a chair. A trashcan to the head gets two with Cornette saying it shouldn’t count because it’s under a rope. Dude, come on now.

Warner is back with a spear through the board in the corner for two and it’s time to slap it out. A pop up headbutt rocks Bestia and it’s a piece of board to the head for a delayed two. Warner’s running knee gets two but Salina slips Bestia a red bag. Bestia gets tied into a chair but Warner spends too much time yelling at Salina, allowing Bestia to throw powder into his face. A MuscleBuster through a chair finish Warner at about 10:00 (I didn’t hear an opening bell).

Rating: C. This is one where your individual taste is going to vary as I’m not big on hardcore for the sake of hardcore. It didn’t go too far that it’s ridiculous, but Warner losing again isn’t the best idea if he’s going to be the one to go after Salina and company. I know it’s his signature thing, but they do these brawls a little too often and I’m getting numb to them.

Salina has the Golden Ticket back.

Opening sequence.

We see Georgia Hart and Alexander Hammerstone seeming to get rather close in an elevator. Oh dear.

The Dynasty dodges questions about Georgia and brags about how awesome they are.

MLW is going to have a working relationship with Pro Wrestling Noah. Fine enough.

Contra doesn’t want the fans throwing things at them again or they’ll hurt the Von Erichs even more.

Ricky Martinez vs. Low Ki

Salina is here with Ricky and has changed her clothes in the five minutes she has been gone. Konnan is on commentary. Martinez throws a jacket in Ki’s face and dropkicks his knee out to start things off in a hurry. An elbow in the corner keeps Martinez in control as Konnan talks about what he’s found in Salina’s phone.

Ki hits a palm strike for a breather and the Liger Kick knocks Martinez out of the air for a cool visual. Martinez manages to send him into the buckle and a middle rope Codebreaker gets two. Hold on though as Salina goes after her phone with the distraction letting Ki grab the dragon sleeper for the knockout win at 4:13.

Rating: C-. This was very hard hitting while it lasted but I’m having some trouble caring about Konnan vs. Salina as it has been going on for months now. The phone deal is at least something fresh instead of having the same stuff over and over again. Ki has surprised me as well as he has gone from someone I never cared for to someone solid in his role.

Post match Salina seems to offer Ki a spot back on the team but he walks away.

The Von Erichs are ready to bring Contra to justice, Texas style. Oh good grief.

Kotto Brazil is tired of all the interference around here, just like Myron Reed and Jordan Oliver. They say JUSTICE over and over.

Tom Lawlor’s life has been a nightmare lately but he loves the fighting. He wants his World Title back though and is getting his rematch at Never Say Never. That’s not enough though as he and the Von Erichs are coming for Contra in the War Chamber (seems to be WarGames).

We recap the Georgia Smith/Alexander Hammerstone deal.

The Hart Foundation sees the video for the first time and aren’t happy.

Contra Unit vs. Von Erichs

It’s Samael and Gotch for Contra here. The Von Erichs waste no time and go straight for the Claws but get thrown off in a hurry. Gotch dragon screw leg whips Ross as Marshall sends Samael into the barricade. Ross’ knee is fine enough to be sent into the ropes so Gotch can knee him in the ribs. What looks like a crossface chickenwing keeps Ross in trouble and it’s Samael and Marshall getting back inside.

Ross fights back to save his brother from the double teaming but gets sent outside again. That means Marshall gets to make the Texas comeback this time and it’s a double dropkick to Gotch. Marshall hits a moonsault for two with Gotch making a save. Samael and Marshall clothesline each other as Ross has a chair. As luck would have it, Samael busts out the fireball but Ross uses the chair to block it. A chair to the head gives Marshall the pin on Samael at 6:24.

Rating: C+. The action was better here and the wild brawl felt more appropriate here, mainly because it was different from the way the opener went. The Von Erichs are a nice addition to the roster and while they have a long way to go, they’re getting the ring time that they need here. Nice match too.

Post match Contra goes after the Von Erichs again and the riot squad comes out to break things up. The Von Erichs want to keep fighting and we cut to the back where Jacob Fatu is beating up the squad. Tom Lawlor comes in for the fight for a hot ending to the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show got better after the main event but it wasn’t their best effort overall. The problem here was having too much brawling on one show, which tends to be a problem around here. What did work though was the storytelling, as they’re coming up with some creative enough ways to keep things moving without feeling tired. That helps so much and it did so here. Just keep it up and give us the big payoffs, which they tend to do well enough. This wasn’t their best show, but it’s still an easy hour to watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Kane vs. Great Khali

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6