Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well as usual, a lot has changed around here since last time. Brock is a monster again, Goldberg is Raw Champion, Vince is back and fighting the Undertaker, and it’s Austin vs. Bischoff having surrogate teams fight for control of Raw. This is a big change of pace from last year and hopefully it’s a bit better as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about surviving. There’s an original concept.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Vince talks to Shane about how tonight it’s father and son against two brothers which is a somewhat cool idea, but the matches are both likely to suck so it’s hard to care. Shane says he feels sorry for Vince. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they have a really awkward laugh before Austin stops and glares at Vince. This is one of those moments where it was supposed to be big but came off as weird instead.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is somewhat recently back after breaking her neck on a TV show and is challenging here. The fans immediately start cheering for Lita and she hits a quick clothesline to take over. Some knees to Molly’s chest sets up a suplex and a nipup by Lita. We head to the floor where Lita is sent into the barricade back first, which gets two for the champ back inside. Off to a chinlock by Molly followed by a dragon sleeper which doesn’t last that long.

Molly sends her into the corner and hits the Muta handspring elbow in one of the only times you’ll hear his name mentioned on WWE TV. Lita kicks Molly away and backflips to the top for a cross body and a two count. A rollup gets the same but Molly sidewalk slams her down for two. Molly tries a rana out of the corner and gets powerbombed down, but the Litasault misses. The Molly Go Round (flipping seated senton) surprisingly only gets two so Molly goes to expose a buckle. After a save is made by Lita, the champ sends her face first into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match itself was ok, but man alive Molly wasn’t that interesting to watch. I get that she’s a very technically competent wrestler and could do almost anything pretty well in the ring, but she was a black hole of charisma. Molly was just there most of the time, which doesn’t make for interesting matches at all.

We recap Kane vs. Shane. Kane, being all psycho, tombstoned Linda on the stage one night. Shane stood up for his mama and beat on Kane as much as he could, but it basically turned into a monster movie as Shane did all sorts of things to Kane but Kane just kept coming. Shane got his testicles electrocuted in a semi-famous bit in retaliation. Somehow this set up an ambulance match, which is a casket match but with an ambulance. This is one of those feuds that went on and on for MONTHS, apparently ticking off guys in the back because Shane wasn’t a full time wrestler but he was getting big spots on the card.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Shane immediately knocks him to the floor but Kane sends him into the steps to take him down. Shane gets the steps on top of Kane and pounds him down with a chair. The announce table gets loaded up early and there’s a monitor to the side of Kane’s head. Shane hits the big elbow through the table and both guys are down less than two minutes in. Both guys get up and Shane makes Kane chase him (literally) through the crowd.

They head to the back and we lose the camera feed for a bit. Kane really is stalking Shane like in a slasher movie. Shane gets behind Kane somehow and blasts him with some kendo stick shots. Shane gets in an SUV and backs up into Kane, knocking him into a guard shake. McMahon grabs a walkie-talkie and says send it, so here’s an ambulance. Kane fights off the stretcher and throws Shane into a concrete wall before they head back to the arena.

Shane looks like he’s dead on his feet as Kane punches him. Kane throws him onto the hood of the ambulance, cracking Shane’s head open apparently. Shane sends him into the side of the ambulance and opens the doors, slamming one onto Kane’s head a few times. Kane fights his way out of the back of the ambulance before throwing Shane in, but only one door gets shut.

McMahon comes back with a kind of tornado DDT out of the ambulance and hits Kane with a trashcan. He then puts something big and black between Kane’s legs before climbing on top of the ambulance. Shane goes Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive a trashcan into Kane’s face while Kane was laying against the barricade. The big black thing apparently was a box to keep Shane from, you know, dying.

Kane is dead weight now and Shane can’t get him into the ambulance immediately. Kane pulls Shane inside with him before getting all fired (pun intended) up. He rams Shane into the ambulance over and over, tombstones him on the concrete and throws him into the ambulance to win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it went on too long. Thankfully this was the last time Shane was an active wrestler for a few years as he was only good for stuff like this in doses. Kane would go on to feud with, who else, the Undertaker in a few months. There were some good bumps here, but at the end of the day Shane isn’t a wrestler and that was becoming obvious near the end.

Brock says he didn’t lose tonight. Josh Matthews says he tapped out and Lesnar doesn’t want to hear it because he didn’t tap out. Lesnar says line up anybody in the world and he’ll beat them because he’s the WWE Champion. Oh hi Goldberg. Yep, they’re foreshadowing THAT match.

Here’s Coach to waste more time. He’s in a neckbrace due to a 3D on Monday. His doctors assure him that in a few days, he’ll be fine. Coach sees Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, in the front row. Cuban agrees to a quick interview and says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Coach says that’s not happening so he asks Cuban if he prefers WWE or NBA referees. Cuban says they all suck (Cuban is well known in the NBA for being highly critical of referees) and here’s Bischoff to yell at Cuban a bit.

Eric asks Cuban to get in the ring and say whatever Cuban thinks to his face. Cuban gets in the ring and TOWERS over Bischoff, probably a good seven inches or so taller. Bischoff says that he can have security take Cuban out or he can do it himself. Mark shoves Eric down but Randy Orton slides in and RKO’s Cuban, who sells it as well as any celebrity I’ve ever seen. If I remember right, this was actually referenced SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw. This was a waste of about seven minutes.

Evolution is having a party in the back with a ton of women. HHH takes his shirt off to drive the girls crazy but Flair says not yet because HHH has to fight later. Orton comes in and panics, stops to flirt with the girls, and then says that he’ll kill the legend of Austin tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are Doug and Danny, have Shaniqua with them and are defending here. Los Guerreros take over to start as this is apparently about something the Bashams did on Smackdown. What that was isn’t important enough to explain, but apparently it happened. Chavo and I think Danny start things off with Chavo in control. It’s quickly off to Danny who stomps Danny down in the corner and follows up with the Three Amigos.

It’s back to Chavo with a low dropkick for two and it’s right back to Eddie. A Sin Cara-esque headscissors takes both Bashams down but the champs double team Latino Heat to take over. Shaniqua, a big old monster chick that won Tough Enough 2, runs over Eddie on the floor and Doug pounds away on him in the ring. A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock by Danny. Eddie fights up and takes Danny down with a headscissors before tagging in Chavo.

Everything breaks down and another double flapjack puts Chavo down. Danny loads up something like a spinebuster off the middle rope but Eddie makes the save before Danny can jump. Eddie gets sent to the floor but Chavo dropkicks Doug down. Danny and Chavo clothesline each other down and the “twins” switch. Eddie takes Shaniqua down and Frog Splashes her. Let’s spank her too because she’s a dominatrix. Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Doug but kicks Eddie in the process. As Chavo checks on him, Danny rolls Chavo up to retain.

Rating: D+. I know the description sounded really dull, but there was nothing here at all. The guys in this match are pretty talented, but the tag division was so dead around this point. The Bashams just weren’t that interesting and there isn’t much else to say about it than that. That was a major problem back in 2003: a lot of the guys were just there and nothing of note, which is a shame as Danny is a legend in OVW but it never translated to WWE.

Los Guerreros glare at each other post match.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They had been sharing power and tonight’s match is for full control. Austin is skeptical about trusting anyone and he’s fired if he touches anyone. From what I understand from the video, if Austin’s team wins, he can beat up anyone he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Dudley Boyz

Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

The Dudleys are Raw tag champions and RVD is IC Champion. Team Bischoff hides on the floor and Austin yells at Jericho a bit. Christian and D-Von start things off with the Dudley pounding away. A flying clothesline gets two on Christian and here’s Van Dam who gets the same off a spinwheel kick. Off to Jericho who gets kicked in the face as well, followed by a northern lights suplex for two.

A dropkick puts Van Dam down and here’s Steiner for the same power stuff he’s done for about eight years running now. After making Steiner miss in the corner and hitting a cross body, Van Dam gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched, allowing Scott to hit an overhead belly to belly for two. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down and elbowed for tow.

Booker hits the forearm to take Steiner down and hits the ax kick but it’s a Spinarooni instead of a cover. Everything breaks down and Steiner hooks the Recliner on Booker. Stacy, Steiner’s reluctant manager, cheers for Booker. The distraction breaks the hold and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D on Steiner and the Bookend gets the elimination. Henry comes in and immediately hits the World’s Strongest Slam to take Booker out and tie things up.

Van Dam comes back in and the kicks to Henry’s legs don’t do much good at all. Bubba gets a blind tag and pounds away on Henry but Mark runs him over. Bubba pounds away but brings in D-Von because it takes both Dudleyz to take Henry down. Henry misses a charge in the corner and walks into the 3D, allowing Van Dam to hit the Five Star. The dogpile pin is allowed and Henry is out.

It’s Jericho vs. Van Dam now with Rob sending Jericho into the corner for two. Off to Orton who clotheslines Van Dam down hard for two. RVD comes back with the springboard kick to the face but Jericho breaks up the Five Star, knocking Rob into the RKO for the elimination. Off to D-Von for a flapjack and a legdrop for two. A top rope headbutt gets two on Orton so it’s off to Jericho.

Chris’ missile dropkick puts D-Von down but Bubba breaks up the pin. Jericho is all cool with that though and hits the Flashback (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination. It’s Bubba and Shawn vs. Jericho, Christian and Orton. Here’s Shawn for the first time and house is quickly cleaned, but that little dust bunny known as Chris Jericho takes him down. Off to Orton again who gets in a few shots before getting clotheslined.

There’s the not hot tag to Bubba who beats up all three Bischites. A flapjack puts Jericho down and a backdrop gets two on Christian. A Samoan Drop puts Orton down and we get heel miscommunication between the Canadians. Jericho breaks up the Bubba Bomb with a low blow and the Unprettier pins Bubba, making it 3-1. Shawn immediately comes in with a forearm to Christian and the nip up as things speed up.

Jericho low bridges Shawn and the double stomp is on outside. Off to Orton as the heels slow things down. Shawn and Christian slug it out but Shawn has to beat up Jericho as well. Christian slingshots Shawn into the post and Michaels is busted open. Back in and Christian suplexes Shawn down before doing the HBK pose. Shawn is covered in blood as Christian shoves him out of the corner….and charges right into Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. That was sweet!

Jericho is all ticked off now and pounds away on Shawn’s forehead but Michaels comes back with a chop in the corner. Shawn can’t follow up though and a clothesline puts him down for two. Shawn comes back with a DDT out of the corner for a delayed two as Orton saves. Shawn throws Orton out to the floor but Jericho’s Lionsault hits knees and Shawn FINALLY gets up. The superkick misses but Shawn rolls Jericho up to counter the Walls and somehow it’s down to Orton vs. Shawn. Jericho, ever the bad sport, clocks Shawn with a chair.

Orton, who is still down from being thrown to the floor somehow, is left against a dead Shawn. Randy crawls back in but can only get two. He goes up but the cross body takes out the referee instead. Shawn loads up the Superkick but Bischoff comes in and kicks him down. Austin finally snaps and beats up Eric before Stunning Orton. Steve goes after Bischoff and throws him up the aisle, but Batista runs in and powerbombs Shawn, giving Orton the academic pin to win the match and send Austin away for at least a good three weeks.

Rating: B. This took A LONG time to get going, but once Shawn was on his own and got to get the crowd behind him completely, it was all gravy. The important thing here was that Shawn basically beat Christian and Jericho through a pair of flukes and not because he Hulked Up or anything like that. He caught Christian charging at him and rolled Jericho up when Jericho’s arms were being used in a hold. Shawn made this match work, as the other members of his team were useless. The guy really is that awesome.

Austin is shocked and goes into the ring where Shawn isn’t moving at all. He helps Michaels up and Shawn says he’s sorry. Austin pulls Shawn up and they shake hands with no Stunner. They walk up the aisle together and leave but Austin’s music plays and he comes out one more time. He says that he started his career 14 years ago right here in Dallas. Austin says if it has to end, he’s glad that it’s ending where it started. He says that you won’t hear him say this much, but he loves the fans.

This brings out Coach to sing the goodbye song and have security take Austin out. Austin of course beats up the guards and Coach as this is going on too long. Austin Stuns Coach and beer is consumed. He leaves the two cans sitting in the ring and flips off the crowd for old times’ sake.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince. Taker keeps trying to win the title but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy against Lesnar. Undertaker says that Vince has to be held accountable for his actions and on Smackdown, Taker won the right to have any match with anyone he picked. He said it was buried alive and Vince loved the idea of getting to see Lesnar bury Taker. Taker said not so fast my friend, because the match is against Vince.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldie won the title at Unforgiven so HHH put a $100k bounty on his head. Batista returned from an injury and broke Goldberg’s ankle to claim the bounty. This is almost literally the same story that Race and Flair had to set up the first Starrcade, with the main difference being that Race was champion when he set up the bounty. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending and has a broken ankle. Doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out/put him on the shelf? With Flair still in the ring, Goldie limps and punches at the same time. There’s a spear to HHH but there’s no count because the bell hasn’t rung yet. Flair gets backdropped and there’s the bell. HHH gets knocked to the floor and the champ is in full control. Goldberg drops him face first onto the barricade and we head back inside.

Goldberg tries to use power but the ankle gives out on him. A chop block takes Goldberg down and we head to the floor for a low blow. Flair sends the leg into the post and is DRENCHED in sweat already. Back in and things slow down even more as HHH does whatever he can as Flair chokes away even more. HHH stays on the knee and the sequence keeps going on and on and on. That was the problem with HHH matches: they were the same boring formula over and over and it never worked.

HHH puts on a half crab but Goldberg is in the ropes. The ankle gets bent around the post as this is getting even more boring. Goldberg comes out of the corner with a clothesline but a powerslam is too much for him here. Goldberg kicks HHH into the referee and Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg out cold. That only gets two and HHH is ANGRY, so he drops an elbow on the referee.

It’s sledgehammer time but HHH charges into a boot. Flair gets slammed off the top and Goldie has the hammer. He takes Flair out with it but as he goes for HHH, Batista and Orton run in, only to be knocked out with the hammer as well. The Pedigree is countered and Goldberg throws down the hammer. The spear and the Jackhammer retain the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match sucked, but you certainly can’t say HHH didn’t put Goldberg over huge here. This is where the good parts of the match end. As for the bad: Goldberg wouldn’t sell the leg once the big insane part started, the match sucked, and HHH won the title a month later at Armageddon in a three way match, with Goldberg moving on to feud with Lesnar after this. Not a good match here but that was typical of HHH around this time.

Overall Rating: D+. This is from a bad time in the company as HHH was still on top but there were other things that were far more interesting. For instance, the Austin thing DEFINITELY should have closed this show as Shawn is the only thing that was really good on the whole card. On top of that, the main problem here is that other than the Shawn match, there’s no heart to this show. It comes, it goes, nothing really feels like it matters. That would be the case until Cena and Batista rose up to breathe new life into the company.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

Redo: C

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

This matches up pretty well: most of the matches were about the same but a few were lower this time, as was the overall rating.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz

What a difference a year makes. Austin is back as the co-GM of Raw along with Bischoff which is one of your main matches. The winner of the Survivor Series match becomes the full GM of the show. The Raw main event is Goldberg who debuted the night after Mania 19 against HHH (I’m as shocked as you are), who had lost the world title to Goldberg at Unforgiven two months earlier.

The twist this time is that Goldberg has a shattered ankle thanks to the returning Batista. Over on Smackdown, we have Angle’s team against Brock’s team in the feud that wouldn’t die. Their world title match is nonexistent here, which is kind of a throwback to the original shows.

The other main match is Vince vs. the Undertaker in a Buried Alive match which we’ll cover in more detail when we get to it. Other than that, this looks like a run of the mill TV show instead of a PPV. A handful of matches can carry a show to being good, so let’s see if this one does just that.

The opening video is very generic with a voiceover asking if people have what it takes to survive. Oh come on I could have been more creative in high school.

Kurt Angle’s Team vs. Brock Lesnar’s Team

Kurt Angle, John Cena, Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw
Brock Lesnar, Big Show, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, A-Train

Again, no recap, and yes that’s the same Matt Morgan from TNA. This really is just a way to push Brock vs. Angle, Benoit and Cena. All three were trying to become number one contender to his WWE Title around this time and it led to some absolutely great matches. Cena grew up during this feud as he showed that he could work with the best of them in someone like Benoit and work well.

As for the other guys, I think Heyman or whoever the GM was brought them in to help Brock fight here. This might have been Jones’ last appearance and I’m pretty sure Morgan’s debut was on Smackdown when he was added to this tem. Holly is there because Lesnar broke his neck and Bradshaw…uh…well he would be world champion in about nine months so apparently they knew something was coming with him.

Cena is still a rapper who wears throwbacks here. He doesn’t know why he’s on first. I thought who was on first. As always Cena gets a reaction. You could see the star on its way out in him and in just a year and a half’s time he would be winning world titles. Bradshaw has his more familiar look now and apparently he’s the replacement for Farrooq who was injured by Big Show. No clue why Farrooq was supposed to be in there in the first place but whatever.

Holly in a major PPV match just looks weird. Angle gets a solid pop. Show is US Champion here and it looks like a freaking toy. Jones had been around for awhile hanging out with Undertaker but then left for the summer and came back even more horrible. Morgan is a complete stranger here, with the first things Cole says being “we don’t know a heck of a lot about Matt Morgan”. You have to love commentators being on top of things like that.

He still looks like a freak though, but given that he’s followed in by Brock Lesnar, he’s kind of overshadowed. Holly jumps him before the bell and beats on him for awhile before shoving a referee and being eliminated before the match starts. I’m glad for that because Holly is the name of my best friend’s sister so I always picture her (she’s 12) when I talk about Hardcore Holly and it’s just aggravating.

Somehow Holly (the wrestler, not the 7th grader) would get a world title shot at the Rumble and naturally would get destroyed. He was obsessed with breaking Lesnar’s very thick neck, so instead of using a weapon or something he kept trying to beat him with a full nelson. It was just idiotic and nothing but filler until Eddie got into the main event. Bradshaw eliminates A-Train in about thirty seconds as we see how stupid the Clothesline From JBL is as a finisher.

Once someone has been beaten down it’s ok, but with this A-Train missed a splash and Bradshaw hit a single clothesline for a pin. That just doesn’t roll for me. Since 30 seconds was too long, Show comes in and eliminates Bradshaw with a chokeslam in about 20 seconds. That’s stupid also, but far less so. Show finally has gone back to the singlet and shorts so he looks far less idiotic at this point than he did last year.

It’s 4-3 in case you were wondering. Cena is in there with Lesnar now and while he’s in over his head, he’s trying. Like I said you can see the star in him. We move on to the wet dream of the IWC that is Matt Morgan vs. John Cena. This might have been Morgan’s WWE debut unless he had a match on Smackdown that I don’t remember, but he’s light years ahead of Nathan Jones who had been on Wrestlemania already. Jones clearly can barely do anything at all.

Morgan is limited here, but he at least looks comfortable. Jones looks like he’s walking through every single step in his mind which is just not good for a major show like this. Ah good they covered that. Earlier on they mentioned that the heel team here is the heaviest of all time which I wasn’t sure of. They mention the first Survivor Series and the heel team in the main event. I had forgotten Rick Rude was on that team which brought the average weight down a lot.

Cena has been in there a long time now, which makes little sense as he has Angle and Benoit (rocking the black tights tonight) on the apron. As I say that, old black tights comes in and hammers on Lesnar. In an odd stat that Tazz points out, three members of Team Angle have had broken necks and now you can add Cena to that list I think. I don’t remember if it was broken or not but he was out with a neck injury. Show’s power is just scary.

It’s a weird thing to see Matt Morgan be the weakest guy on his team but I think he is here. I will never get tired of watching Benoit and all those ways he has of getting the Crossface on people. It’s ridiculous how many ways he can get that on people. Angle finally gets the tag and cleans house, beating down all four heels. He ducks a boot from Jones that hits Morgan, leading to the Angle Slam to tie it at three.

Now that’s the Kurt Angle that gets the insane praise around here. Jones taps out maybe twenty seconds later. Angle stands up from the ankle lock and turns around to get F5ed and pinned. We lost three people in thirty two seconds after losing three in 48 seconds earlier. Thanks for that epic storytelling there Vince. Now we get to the good stuff as it’s Benoit vs. Lesnar. It’s 2-2 here by the way, with Benoit and Cena against Show and Lesnar.

Now this is very interesting as Benoit and Brock are in there together for about two minutes and Lesnar gets his head handed to him. Benoit gets the Crossface on him three times and Brock gets out on his own once (the other time Benoit put it on when Lesnar was in the ropes). On the third one Brock taps, which was huge as Benoit gets a clean win over him. Cena gets the tag and gets kicked square in the hands.

Following this he does something that’s either very smart or very stupid: he doesn’t sell the kick. Now you can look at this one of two ways. The kick clearly missed by at least eight inches and he got his hands up. Now if you’re Cena here you have a very big problem here: do you look stupid and sell, or do you acknowledge that it didn’t connect and keep going? I could certainly see both sides but Cena just gets the chain from the corner and pops Show, leading to the FU and the pin.

Rating: B-. Well that was shall we say different. The two big bursts of eliminations seemed stupid to me but that’s whatever I suppose. The big things that were supposed to be done were done as Cena pins Show to further their feud and Benoit gets a clean win over Lesnar. That worked fine with the rest of the people there just being window dressing for the most part.

This really should have been Benoit’s team other than Angle’s but that’s fine as Angle was the bigger star at this time. The good parts were good and the bad parts were bad here, and that’s the best I can say it. Benoit would get his title shot on Smackdown but would lose. Eventually he would win the Rumble and go to Raw and beat HHH for the belt at Mania.

Vince comes to see Shane about his match with Kane tonight. He says that we have a father and son against two brothers which is kind of a cool thing when you think about it. He asks Shane how he feels. Shane says the only thing he feels is sorry for Vince tonight. I love how they can coexist despite that whole Shane trying to put Vince out of business two years ago ordeal but whatever. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they stare at each other.

Austin starts laughing as does Vince. Austin laughs harder and harder before stopping dead and walking past Vince. That’s one of those really weird moments that works despite making absolutely zero sense in context. It’s just odd seeing them together given their history, but those two played such a major role in the company’s survival that it just wouldn’t work if they didn’t interact somehow.

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Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

There’s a great sign in the crowd: Take Me To Your Lita. This is Lita’s comeback after being out about a year and a half with a broken neck. Was there something in the water in catering that caused broken necks or something? More or less this is her complimentary title shot, which makes me wonder how weak the division is when a woman returning from a year and a half off is considered the top challenger. That can’t be a good sign.

She’s rocking the shorts if nothing else so that’s a perk. Molly is as generic as you can possibly imagine here. The story leading into this match was that Molly was jealous of all the attention that Lita was getting, which makes sense at least. Molly actually has a great looking chest that often get overlooked. I know it’s not the best thing to focus on their looks here, but seriously, there’s no story here and if you really believe that the wrestling is what’s supposed to be on display here, you’re sadly mistaken.

We get a Great Muta reference and Lawler doesn’t know who that is. That’s just amusing. The wrestling being relatively boring here isn’t helping things either. It’s ok, but that’s all it is: ok. Molly hits her top rope flip move, which of course makes her awesome but Lita gets up. Molly rams her into an exposed buckle to end it. Yep, that’s it.

Rating: D+. Egads this just wasn’t very interesting or even good. It suffers from the main issue that women’s matches tend to have which is that there’s just no real reason at all to care about it. The match is ok but there’s nothing at all to set it apart from any of the other various combinations of Divas that could have been come up with given the current batch of talent in the company.

We recap Shane vs. Kane. Kane recently had his mask taken off, leading to him going nuts (no really Kane went nuts) and actually tombstoning Linda on the stage. Shane started going after Kane but nothing would work. During this feud there was the testicle electrocution bit which I think was the one that killed any chance this feud had of working. There was a laundry list of problems with this feud though, so the testicle thing wouldn’t have saved it.

The biggest of all was simple though. No one actually cared because we didn’t know what Kane was talking about. He kept going on and on about pain etc, so just like now no one understands what the feud is about. Also, these guys feuded forever and I don’t think Shane had won a single time coming up to this.

There are other things but I’ll cut it off here. The last big thing was that a lot of the roster apparently didn’t like this because Shane is just coming in and taking a major spot away from others that are full time workers. Why should Shane, a guy that’s only an occasional wrestler be taking up a match with a guy that’s very high up on the card?

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

This is an ambulance match which is what you would think it is: get the other guy in the ambulance to win. JR says that Kane is crazier than an inbred hound dog. Does anyone ever wonder what his childhood was like? It certainly must have been quite the strange life. Before the bell rings Shane goes after Kane and knocks him over the ropes. The camera guy gets knocked too and the last thing we see is Kane upside down with his head about to slam into the concrete. It looked kind of scary.

JR calls this match barbaric. Odd, as I didn’t know that in barbaric societies they had baseball jerseys, audio commentary, wrestling rings, theme music, ambulances or pants. We immediately hit the weapons because Shane is rather limited to things that he can do with weapons, which makes sense because again, HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. Granted he’s a heck of an athlete though and I don’t think anyone would question that.

About a minute and a half in and Shane puts him through the table with the big elbow. That’s his signature move I’d think and he does it very, very well. Somehow though it’s lost a bit of its luster. McMahon gets Kane to chase him into the crowd as he’s clearly leading him on. I hate cock teases like that. Why lead someone into a bunch of other people? I have no idea what the point of that joke was so ignore it. It stopped being funny about two seconds after it.

They head into the back and Shane gets some shots in with a kendo stick which is his weapon of choice. Shane does something with a car but I’m not sure what it was. I think he put Kane in a security booth and rammed it but it’s hard to say. Well if nothing else it’s a cool idea. Oh yeah that was another problem: Shane kept coming up with more and more elaborate ways to try to hurt Kane, typically involving attempted vehicular homicide. Oh look Shane has his own ambulance.

They knock out another camera so the fans boo loudly since we can’t see anything. Ah there we are. Back in the arena they’re fighting near the ambulance because that’s the point of the match. I love matches like this that are chock full of psychology. In essence this is a casket match on wheels. In a cool spot, Kane is running Shane at the ambulance but Shane walks up the ambulance and spins off to the side before hooking a sick sounding DDT on the concrete. That was awesome.

Shane climbs up on top of the ambulance and launches the Coast To Coast dropkick at him. That was awesome. They fight inside the ambulance because that’s just so easy for the audience to see. Those big spots that I’ve mentioned are all that’s keeping this from being completely awful. The problem is that the ambulance is just a weird choice for a gimmick and in essence this is a hardcore match/street fight but with a different way to win.

It’s an ok fight, but it feels forced to me if that makes sense. Shane gets rammed into the ambulance about ten times before a tombstone on the concrete ends this. The tombstone was done really well done as Kane drops him as fast as he can and with the camera where it is you can’t tell if his head even comes close to hitting or not.

That’s the perfect way to do one of those and it worked really well at least for me. Of course we have to watch every single second of the ambulance leaving because the two minutes that it takes certainly can’t be used for anything else at all.

Rating: D+. There were some good bumps in there but this was really just a mess. No one wanted to see this and the gimmick was just ridiculous. They were in the ring literally zero seconds as they started fighting before the bell rang. And really, an ambulance? That’s the best they can come up with?

A last man standing match or something like that would have worked about 10x better here, but hey, we have flashy lights in this one! This was pretty bad with some cool bumps from Shane being the only bright spots.

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Lesnar says he didn’t lose tonight. We get the you tapped out chance and Brock blames his partners. How in the world did we never get Benoit vs. Lesnar but instead we got Lesnar Goldberg? Those two have a dumb moment of foreshadowing.

Coach comes out in a neck brace and I have a bad feeling about this. The Dudleys gave him the 3D to give him that, but he’ll be fine. My goodness this guy was annoying. He’s leaving but he sees Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks in the front row. For those of you unfamiliar with him, Cuban is almost Vince McMahon in a legit sport. He’s loud, he’s defiant and he’ll do whatever it takes to win.

That being said, he’s a great thing for the NBA because he is so into games. Instead of sitting in some box somewhere sipping scotch, he’s in the fourth row behind the cheerleaders wearing a Mavs jersey. I like that. Anyway, Bischoff comes out and challenges Cuban to a fight. They talk about how tonight this is Bischoff’s building which given the whole deal with the Nuggets earlier this summer, this is a lot funnier. Anyway, he shoves Bischoff but takes an RKO.

We go to the back where Evolution is having a big party with champagne and women. Orton comes in to announce what he did but stops midsentence to hit on a girl and then finishes what he said. Apparently beating up Mark Cuban is the same as beating Goldberg, at least according to Flair. This was odd indeed.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Bashams vs. Los Guerreros

The Bashams were about as generic of a tag team as you could ever find. The only reason I liked them was they had the same names (Doug and Danny) as my uncles that I used to wrestle with as a kid. They have Linda from Tough Enough as a dominatrix type manager which is dumber than it sounds. This led to Eddie vs. Chavo at the Rumble which was pretty good. Other than that, nothing came of this.

Chavo is ticked at Eddie over buying some lie the Bashams made so there’s your basic heel idea here. Eddie gets the Three Amigos for two. Chavo comes in and there are no visible problems for the Latin dudes. Back to Eddie with them completely dominating. Eddie takes them both out and so much for that as they take him out.

Wow I forgot to mention this but the Bashams are defending here. This is just not interesting at all here as it’s in fast pace and you can feel that even four minutes into this we’re over halfway done. Eddie saves Chavo and hits a top rope rana so Chavo can get two. After Eddie is sent to the floor both Chavo almost falls victim to twin magic but they beat up Shaniqua instead. And then Chavo gets rolled up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just another match of the month for these belts. After last year’s mind blowing few months of title feuds, the belts yet again mean nothing with the Bashams being the token champions at the time. These belts got zero respect and no one cared at all, which is rather sad in my eyes.

We recap Austin vs. Bischoff, which there isn’t much to say about it. If Austin’s team wins then he can beat up anyone whenever he wants. If Bischoff’s team wins, Austin is fired. Austin doesn’t trust anyone but he has to trust his team here which is the main point of the story. Eric had fired Austin again but Linda had brought him back as a Co-Gm which lasted for a few months and surprised no one at all. It was still cool though to have Austin back on a regular basis.

Austin’s Team vs. Bischoff’s Team

Ross nearly makes me roll my eyes by starting a line about how this is the biggest match Austin has, but then instead of saying ever had, he says Never been in. That was a nice little save there and makes things sound much better. It got dangerously close to being clever. I’d like to try something here.

Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Christian, Chris Jericho, Scott Steiner
Booker T, Bubba Ray, D-Von, Shawn Michaels, RVD

Other than HBK and Orton, would you be able to tell which team is face and which is heel? That kind of goes to show you what’s happened to faces and heels in this generation. They change so often that it’s hard to tell who is on which side. Anyway, in case you can’t tell the first team of those two is Bischoff’s. They both come out as groups, and this seems a bit one sided. RVD is the IC Champion and the Dudleys are the tag champions on Raw.

Booker and Shaw are former world champions in their own right, and they’re against Christian who was nothing back then, Steiner who had a cup of coffee in the main event and is now in the midcard, Henry who is in another monster push that would fail, Orton was a midcard guy on his way up and Jericho was just a fairly high level jerk. Actually this is fairly even upon second glance. The heels hide for awhile because they’re heels and that’s what they do.

Austin and Jericho talk trash to each other before we get going. I wish there had been a show or two where it was nothing but Jericho, Rock and Foley insulting each other. That would have had me riveted. We finally get going. Jericho and Christian are in the middle of the double date with Trish and Lita story which culminated in Jericho turning face.

Somehow the first date with Trish prompts JR and Lawler to discuss Fabio of all people and get into a bizarre discussion/insulting segment where they talk about how stupid modern terms are. This was just out of left field and meant nothing at all to the match. I think JR forgot where he was for a moment, which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Someone get him a shot of barbecue sauce before he can’t holler at the top of his lungs incoherently anymore!

D-Von and Christian start us off. That’s just an odd pairing to open a match for some reason. Half of these guys have been in ECW. That’s rather impressive for a company that never did anything allegedly. We shift over to Van Dam and Jericho who had traded the IC Title recently with Jericho having one of the shortest reigns of all time, winning and losing it on the same Raw. Steiner comes in and we have some Michigan vs. Michigan violence.

There’s number one on the Steiner F Bomb count. Van Dam counters with the worst stepover kick that I’ve ever seen. It was just awful. Granted Scott Steiner is in there so it’s likely his fault. Steiner is completely dominating here as Bubba is screaming like a crazy man on the apron at Van Dam to get out of there. I mean he’s clearly audible several times in this thing and I keep thinking he’s on a mic somewhere. That’s impressive.

Booker comes in to shake things up a bit but Scott manages to suck the life out of the match again in under 20 seconds. That might be a personal record for him. Booker gets a Scissors Kick and the Spinerooni. That sounds like nothing but Bischoff’s reaction to it of holding his head is ridiculously funny as you can see him thinking to himself what in the heck was I on when I told him that was a cool looking move?

Ross calls a very non Arn Anderson style spinebuster an Arn Anderson spinebuster because there’s clearly only one way to ever do that move. After a big brawl, Steiner gets the Steiner Recliner on Booker. I have to pause for a moment here. I don’t usually do this, but that might be the funniest looking thing in the history of professional wrestling. Steiner is standing over Booker, not sitting down at all with Booker on his knees without his arms over Steiner’s legs.

I truly and honestly feel sorry for Ross, Lawler and Booker here as they have to actually try and make that move seem painful. This is a great example of why Steiner is considered awful in the ring. That was just flat out embarrassing.

Anyway, Stacy gets up to try to get people cheering for Booker. She’s under contract to Steiner but hates it so there’s your explanation. Also, does anyone else besides me hate the one shoulder tops that Divas often wear? I’m talking about the ones where it looks like what Andre used to wear. I don’t know why but I can’t stand those things. The Dudleys save her from Scott with the belly to back into a neckbreaker move they do.

Ross calls it a reverse 3D. That’s so far from correct I don’t even know where to start. The Book End gets rid of Scott. Mark Henry who had been feuding with Booker runs in and the world’s dumbest finisher ends Booker to tie us up at four. We get Bubba vs. Henry now and I can feel wrestling devolving right in front of my eyes. Teddy Long is Henry’s manager at this point. The Dudleys hit the 3D from out of nowhere on Henry and a 5 Star ends him.

Not sure if I get the point of the double finisher but whatever gets him out of there makes me happy. We’re back to Jericho and RVD again which is fine by me. I don’t think Shawn has been in yet. RVD goes for the 5 Star or Orton but after a Jericho shove he gets hooked in an RKO. This is kind of dragging. Bubba is yelling again. He’s quite annoying. D-Von is beating up Orton.

That was odd to type. Jericho beats on D-Von for awhile and hits one of his about 8,000 finishers to beat him, and in this case it was a sleeper drop. Bubba is in now and is yelling even more. What in the world is his problem? Michaels is finally in and gets ZERO reaction. That’s just weird to hear. He gets Orton, which is one of those feuds that has been about a million times yet has never had a definitive match.

I don’t know why that’s the case but it’s very odd indeed. Bubba gets tagged in and cleans house. It always seemed like they wanted to make him into a big deal but it just never happened for him. He was by far a better choice than D-Von, but that’s not really saying a lot. It never worked and it doesn’t here as for some reason he’s fighting all three guys but Christian makes him Unpretty to set up Christian, Jericho and Orton against Shawn.

Austin isn’t sure what to think. You can tell Shawn is nervous here as he’s already on the flying forearm. This is reminding me of a match in a video game, which I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Shawn hits the post and goes to the ground to blade a bit. Christian does HBK’s pose as Becca wants to murder him and I’ve never been more proud of her. After a missed Unprettier, Christian charges into the boot for the pin.

Shawn just lays on him which is cool and odd looking at the same time. Both guys beat the living heck out of Shawn as we have Lawler playing cheerleader. He keeps screaming about how he almost believe Shawn can pull this off. That would be redone in two years but this one is FAR better.. Jericho beats on Shawn for a good while and eventually tries to get the Walls but Shawn rolls him up to get us down to Orton (who is coming to the ring on Raw as I write this) against HBK.

Lawler immediately screams I BELIEVE I BELIEVE I BELIEVE! The commentators are so stupidly biased that it’s ridiculous. Jericho pops Shawn with a chair before leaving. He’s bleeding insanely now. Orton goes up but misses a cross body and hits the referee. That used to be his finishing move. I think he made the right move with the change. For some reason Orton is down also despite having the referee to break his fall.

Bischoff comes in to break up the Sweet Chin Music which brings in Austin to beat him up and stun Orton. The two GMs go off for a, shall we say beating, allowing Batista to run in and hit the self named Bomb to put Austin out of the company. In a stunning (oh I slay myself) turn of events, Austin would be back in less than a month and a half. In an odd moment, Austin comes into the ring and checks on Shawn. He pulls HBK up and HBK says I’m sorry.

I guess he doesn’t love Austin though. Austin shakes his hand and they leave together. That was actually a cool moment. I like that they show Shawn respect there as they should and they humanize Austin a bit here. It’s something you don’t often see but it’s very nice. Austin comes back out to his original music and salutes the fans, which again is awesome. They really did try to make this a big deal, but naturally he would be back. I don’t think anyone ever really doubted that.

This really is a cool moment here as Austin looks legitimately upset. I don’t know if he knew he would be back or not, but if he did he deserves a low level acting award. He even says he loves the fans. Since this is a nice moment, Coach comes out singing the goodbye song accompanied by a team of security guards.

Naturally he beats up all five just for old time’s sake. We follow that with a massive beer bash to end this segment that went just long enough. He leaves two beers in the ring, maybe for Owen and Pillman as we fade out.

Rating: A-. I’m just grading the match here. It really was solid with the guys that needed to be gone first being gone first to leave us with the fop four guys in the match (arguably) to end it. That’s how good matches tend to go and they nailed it here. HBK looked great in this all match long and the story was there for him. It worked very well and was an excellent match. I’m not wild on the ending, but at least it fit the match, so I can’t really complain there.

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Cole and Tazz talk about the irony that both McMahon and Austin could have their careers ended tonight. We’ll ignore that Austin hadn’t wrestled in seven months and Vince never was a real wrestler. It is cool to hear Vince referred to as Austin’s arch nemesis. Tazz has to keep up kayfabe here though by saying that he’s a Smackdown guy and not a Raw guy but he is going to miss Austin anyway. That was just pointless.

Recap of Vince vs. Taker, which could have been done much better. Taker is at the very tail end of being the American with this being his last night in the character. Vince, as Brock’s ally, had helped him keep the title from Taker at No Mercy as for some reason he was afraid of Taker being champion. Taker had won a match on Smackdown where he could pick any match he wanted for Survivor Series.

Taker picked Buried Alive which had Vince very happy because he thought Taker meant against Brock for the belt, but Taker meant Vince, which was WAY cooler than I described. Taker, living up to his moniker of the conscious of the company, says that the day comes where you have to pay for your sins, even if your name is Vince McMahon. That’s actually a cool line. Tazz actually has key points to the match and a graphic to display them.

I’ve never seen that on a WWE show before. His keys are submissions, home field advantage and match experience, which make sense, or you could just say the most simple one: he’s the freaking Undertaker so he’s going to kill Vince. Oh those were just Taker’s keys. Vince’s are be mentally stable, be confident, and the third one which made me laugh: AVOID THE HOLE! You know I’ve been told that many times but people just keep coming back. I’ve never gotten that.

If Tazz did these for every big match his value would go WAY up. They were clichés, but they’re what an analyst is supposed to do. He offered his insights as an expert in the field (expert as in he’s a former wrestler and therefore likely knows a lot more than 99% of the viewers which is true) and while they were really self explanatory, they made him seem far more professional. I like that as it’s something no one ever does.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

As I said, this is a Buried Alive match which Taker has been in all of I believe. The announcer goes through the rules of the match and once the bell rings announces again that it’s a Buried Alive match. Good to know that they’re covering us in case we forgot in the past 3 seconds or so. Apparently Vince has been talking about a higher power. Wasn’t he the higher power? So does that mean there’s a higher power to the higher power?

Would that make him the really higher power? Cole complains that it’s stupid to think there’s a higher power protecting Vince. Well that’s a little stupid to say. After about two punches Vince is gushing blood. That’s insanely fast time for a blade. Oh man there’s blood just dripping all over the place. That’s awesome. Or maybe it’s sick. I’m not sure but it looks great. Vince has had zero offense as you would expect.

With Vince bleeding all over, Taker beats on his knee. I don’t know how to make fun of that because it just makes zero sense here. The knee is something you work on when you need to keep them down. It’s just so out of place here that it makes no sense at all. We hit the table for awhile because we’re on PPV. Vince threatened to have Taker’s wife Sara raped and his home torched, because you know, that’s perfectly normal.

They also mentioned that Taker had kids, which is an odd choice indeed. Does Kane come babysit and teach them how to start fires using just your hands and a production assistant? Vince gets killed by a monitor shot to the head. That looked painful. This is just a beating by Taker as Vince has had zero offense and we’re about five minutes in. The fans are liking it somewhat though.

Perhaps in an effort to give Vince a chance to breathe, Taker goes to the grave and gets a shovel which naturally slams into Vince’s head. Cole says he’s a bloody mess formerly known as Vince McMahon. Did he get a name change that I missed? I’m fairly certain that’s still Vince McMahon.

With Vince dead, Taker tries to hurt his leg again. I really just don’t get this. What’s the point to working over a limb now? I know I complain about a lack of psychology a lot of the time but this is too much psychology.

Taker takes (oh shut up) him to the grave where Vince gets a three move combination of throwing dirt in Taker’s eyes, a low blow and a shovel shot somewhere near the chest/shoulder which naturally is called the skull. As I’m writing this I looked up at the review and realized it’s rather short, but there’s just nothing to really say here. It’s a beating of epic proportions with Vince literally having no offense or even defense until those three things.

Anyway, the shovel shot actually knocks Taker into the grave as only in wrestling can you get your face beaten for seven and a half minutes to hit one shot to tie things up and then take the lead. Taker of course pops out of the hole and casually pulls Vince in. He’s favoring his right arm which I think might be legit. Anyway he goes to open the door to the dump truck or whatever it’s called and an explosion goes off.

Looking at Taker’s elbow, he’s either cut REALLY bad on it from something or it’s from Vince’s head. Not sure which, but Kane comes out of the machine and knocks Taker into the hole and pulls Vince out. That’s a teaming that other than a short run in 98 never has been together that I recall. Vince gets in the machine as Cole says Taker is unconscious, despite being clearly awake after the explosion and when he was getting punched by Kane but why am I trying to make sense of this?

Tazz of course brings up that it makes no sense as Kane is a Raw guy. Ok, give me a break already. Are we really supposed to believe that Kane is just a random guy that has no history with Taker at all? It was one of the biggest and best feuds of the Attitude Era but it means nothing at all now because of the Brand Split? Yeah Tazz, keep trying to convince me of that. Vince buries him and for some reason this is STUNNING.

You know, since he’s only been buried what, three times now? Come on Cole give us a tiny bit of credit here. I love how just after it Cole recaps the match in about four seconds. This was the end of the American character as Taker would return at Mania as the Deadman to fight Kane in a glorified squash.

Rating: D. This is going to go one of two ways for a lot of people. About 90% of this is literally just Taker beating up Vince. If you like that, this is the greatest match of all time. The problem is it just gets boring after awhile, and the leg stuff makes less than zero sense.

I don’t think the plot about Kane was ever actually explained as it really was just kind of assumed that it made sense. Now to be fair it did, but a little explanation would be nice. Granted it’s Kane so the explanation wouldn’t have made sense anyway.

Following what should have closed the show, we recap HHH vs. Goldberg. HHH had ducked him for a few months, more or less cheating to keep the belt and when they finally had their match Goldberg took the title. HHH stole another storyline from Harley Race by offering a bounty to anyone that took him out. Batista cashed in as he returned from an injury and rejoined Evolution. He shattered Goldberg’s ankle which didn’t actually take him out because he’s still fighting tonight.

HHH asks Goldberg if Goldberg is getting nervous being champion yet. I love how WCW is forgotten more and more every day. We of course get a video of this set to the awful theme song for this show: Build a Bridge by Limp Bizkit. Where do they pick these songs from? Rarely do they make any sense in connection to the show.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

In a stat that blows my mind still, as of this show HHH has never won at Survivor Series. Hey, while we’re not talking about anything like the main event or something important, I’d like to take the time to say BUY ARMAGEDDON! Ross continues doing a good job by pointing out how often the title changes hands. I don’t get why they tried to change Goldberg. His music and tights are different.

Why? He was as simple of a concept as you could have and Vince messed it up. That’s just hard to do, but naturally since he’s from WCW he had to be changed. HHH is wearing shorts here because of a groin injury. Goldberg hits a spear on HHH before the bell and is walking around more or less fine despite having his ankle taped up.

In one of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen, Goldberg takes him up in a gorilla press and after holding a 260lb man in the air for a few seconds only hurts his ankle when he turns him over. Come on now people, give us some credit for intelligence. They go to the floor with HHH working the ankle by putting it on the steps and slamming a chair onto it. Somehow the referee misses the sound that reverberates through the arena, but whatever.

I’m just trying to get to the end of this as so many HHH matches from this era were just flat out awful that there’s really no point in trying to make them work. Flair is drenched in sweat for some reason. I think that reason might be the fact that he’s Ric Flair.

He chokes Goldberg in that way that looks like he’s having a seizure and looks ridiculous, but to be fair most of what Flair did at this point look ridiculous. To say this match is boring is an insult to boring matches. There’s just nothing of note here. It’s HHH working on Goldberg’s leg and nothing more.

He hit one spear and a slam and other than that it’s been all HHH. We saw more or less a squash in the previous match. Why repeat the same formula in back to back matches? Oh look a half crab because what we really need here is an homage to Lance Storm. Actually that sounds far better than this. Oh wait Goldberg pulled HHH into the post. This could get…HHH no sold it of course.

Back in the ring, Goldberg does something that’s supposed to be a shoulder block I think, showing that true mastery of the finer points of wrestling that he possesses. The referee goes down because it’s a main event match and HHH gets some brass knucks from Flair. There’s no referee though, which seems to be way too big of a tradition at these shows. The kickout got ZERO reaction. I was surprised at that.

I would have thought they would have gotten at least something but there was nothing at all there. Sledgehammer is brought in of course and Goldberg gets the advantage. Flair is slammed off the top to continue a tradition and here comes Batista and Orton. Naturally the champion fights them all off and counters a Pedigree. We need tougher referees. These guys are out for hours off of a single shot. Get Crash Holly or someone like that.

He has the hammer but throws it away because his spear is more effective apparently. The standard two move combination ends this mess as my head is shaking. So let me get this straight. We have the best stable in about five years out there with more world titles between them than I can count, yet GOLDBERG GOLDBERG GOLDBERG (I had to do it once) is able to hold them all off.

Ok, you know what, I can actually believe that. Flair is washed up, HHH is in the match and Orton and Batista tried to fight him when he had a sledgehammer. I can go with that I suppose. But wait, Goldberg HAS A FREAKING BROKEN ANKLE! Just how ridiculous does that sound to you? He shouldn’t be able to walk yet he can fight off all four of them? Give me a break. On top of that, the referee didn’t notice them in the ring in that whole time? And people wonder why this era is considered horrible.

Rating: D-. This was just bad. Goldberg did all of five moves (therefore he’s still better than Cena) and keeps the belt with a broken ankle and fighting off Evolution. How in the world am I supposed to buy any of them, especially HHH, as credible ever again? He would win the title the next month in a triple threat involving Kane, which is just stupid as well. Whatever, at least this show is over.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m being very generous with that grade. This show just wasn’t all that great. It’s more or less just there. I mean the Austin and Bischoff match is by far and away the best on the show and the other Survivor Series match wasn’t that bad, but the rest of the show just doesn’t work that well. Taker’s gimmick change is of course huge, but the match wasn’t interesting at all. The main event was HORRIBLE.

I just wanted to end the show and that’s never good. You have some decent stuff here, but this show is the epitome of forgettable. Taker losing was big but the real impact wouldn’t be seen for about six months. This is like a preview for the upcoming year, which makes me wonder why this is considered a big show. Watch Austin and Bischoff’s match, but other than that this isn’t worth your time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Smackdown
Date: November 8, 2019
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s an interesting week here as we are over in the United Kingdom (or in Manchester, New Hampshire if you believe WWE.com) for a taped show because WWE hasn’t gone all over the world enough just yet. That means things could get interesting as we see the matches that were supposed to take place last week before everything went nuts. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s NXT invasion.

Opening sequence.

It’s the standard pre-FOX set, with the basic stage and Union Jack flags on the side.

Here’s King Corbin to open things up. He isn’t happy with the NXT invasion from last week but that’s all over now that they’re here. That brings him to Roman Reigns, who he certainly respects. Reigns has main evented four Wrestlemanias and even came back from leukemia in less than a year. I mean, who does that? But what has Reigns done lately? Now Reigns is a family man who spends time making appearances with children.

It’s like the Big Dog now has some little marbles and sounds like a chihuahua. Corbin shows us a computerized dog head on screen with a high pitched bark. So Corbin went through the time, effort and perhaps money to have that made just for the sake of that ten second visual? There’s no Reigns though because he isn’t here yet but he’ll be here tonight for the main event. Then the fans can get out their dog scoop bags to take care of Reigns. Corbin has such a bag with him because THEY GOT IN THAT PROMO DEAN AMBROSE TALKED ABOUT.

New Day is ready to win the Tag Team Titles because they have to keep up with Charlotte. This one is for Xavier Woods.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Revival

Revival is defending. Kofi rolls Dawson up for some early near falls and it’s off to Big E. to go after Wilder’s knee. The referee has to check on Wilder and we take an early break. Back with Big E. hitting a belly to belly on Wilder, whose knee is just fine. Kofi comes back in for the dropkicks and the big dive onto both champs. Back in and Dawson avoids Trouble in Paradise, leaving Kofi to get two off the SOS to Wilder.

Big E.’s Rock Bottom out of the corner is broken up and it’s a double hanging DDT to Big E. for no cover. A middle rope uppercut/German suplex combination gives Wilder two but the Shatter Machine is broken up. Dawson gets sent outside and Big E. holds Wilder up for Trouble in Paradise for the pin and the titles at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Well so much for Kofi’s post title loss depression. I’m not sure how much sense it makes to go back to that but if Kofi needs another line on his already Hall of Fame resume, so be it. At this rate he’s already a two time Hall of Famer so it’s hardly a stretch to have him win another title. The match was the usual entertaining stuff between these two.

Sami Zayn comes up to Daniel Bryan in the back and suggests that if Bryan had joined up with he and Shinsuke Nakamura, Bryan would be the new NXT Champion. They need to stick together and Sami should could watch Nakamura’s tag match later and see what can be done.

Heavy Machinery comes out for a match but Imperium jumps them. Some Smackdown guys run out for the save.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro vs. Ali/Shorty G.

My money is on Da Ali G Show. Bryan comes out to watch as Gable grabs the armbar over the ropes to put Nakamura in early trouble. Cesaro comes in to throw Gable into the corner though, only to have Gable Victory roll his way over to Ali. The big tornado DDT drops Cesaro and everything breaks down.

Gable belly to belly suplexes Nakamura to the floor, followed by Gable and Cesaro joining them. Ali dives onto Cesaro and it’s Gable grabbing the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Nakamura hits Ali with the reverse exploder. Kinshasa is blocked with the superkick but Cesaro sends Gable outside. Now Kinshasa can connect to finish Ali at 4:08.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot of stuff into a short match but it was entertaining. What matters here is the Sami stuff with Bryan, as the attempted manipulation is strong, even if it isn’t likely to work. That makes for a good story as you can see what is going on and there is a possibility that it could work. Not knowing where it is going (though one result is pretty heavily favored) makes it more interesting.

Sasha Banks vs. Nikki Cross

Bayley is on commentary. Banks has a remixed version of her theme song, including some vocals from Snoop Dogg. Cross gets sent into the corner for some early choking to start, followed by more choking on the ropes. The fans sing to Bayley as Cross starts the comeback with some armdrags. Cross goes after Bayley instead though and grabs the headset to shout something I couldn’t understand.

Banks uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot, only to be small packaged for two. Back with Cross fighting out of trouble and hitting a tornado DDT for a double knockdown. Cross’ crossbody misses but she stays out of the Bank Statement. That works for all of a few seconds before Banks locks it in for the tap at 8:39.

Rating: C-. They’ve done a nice job of trying to make Cross into a thing but she hasn’t won anything of note on her own. Having her lose over and over again isn’t a recipe for success but WWE doesn’t seem to see it that way. Granted she has already been more successful than I would have bet on for the main roster, though there seems to be more potential there.

Post match Bayley jumps Cross but Shayna Baszler runs in and lays Bayley out.

Sami tries to convince Bryan to not do the YES Movement again. The lights go out and the Fiend appears for the Mandible Claw on Bryan as Sami runs away.

We look at Tyson Fury defeating Braun Strowman at Crown Jewel.

Here’s hometown boy Tyson Fury to fire up the crown. He has been around the world and fought everywhere, including last week in Saudi Arabia. That brings him to Braun Strowman, who he wants to see right here in front of him. Cue Strowman, with Fury praising him for a great fight and offering a handshake. They shake hands and Fury says they should be a tag team. Strowman likes the idea but doesn’t think anyone is crazy enough to face them. Cue the B Team, with Dallas saying the B stands for fearless. The beatdown doesn’t take long with Strowman running them over and Fury hitting a right hand.

Fire & Desire vs. Carmella/Dana Brooke

The winners are two of the five entrants on the Smackdown women’s Survivor Series team, joining Sasha Banks. Sonya throws Carmella around to start as we hear that it’s going to be a three team, fifteen woman Survivor Series match. Mandy and Carmella come in with the latter getting stomped in the corner.

The beatdown continues until Carmella runs over and makes the hot tag off to Dana. A lot of screaming ensues with Dana’s cartwheel moonsault getting two. Carmella superkicks Mandy and throws Sonya to the floor so Dana can flip over her. A dropkick into the steps sets up the Swanton to give Dana the pin on Sonya at 4:00.

Rating: D+. As one of the four people in the world who watches Main Event, Dana has grown on me quite a bit over the last year. No she is not great or even very good, but she has improved a lot and looks like she is trying every time she is out there. It’s not her fault that she went from signing to start training in 2013 and was on the main roster less than three years later. She’s slowly getting better, but unfortunately we’ve spent three years laughing at her because she was thrown into the deep end before she could wade into the water.

Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin

Reigns jumps him before the bell and hits a clothesline to the floor. After a quick beating, it’s Corbin coming back inside and hammering away. Reigns hits a big boot but here are Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler to go after Reigns, because he’s lost the locker room or something. Corbin catches Reigns with Deep Six back inside and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting in another cheap shot so Corbin can send Reigns into the barricade. They get back in and slug it out until Corbin hits a chokeslam. Corbin misses a shot off the top though and Reigns hits a running clothesline for two. Ziggler and Roode come in again though and the distraction lets Corbin hit End of Days for the pin at 9:27.

Rating: D+. This really missed for me as Corbin vs. Reigns is boring enough on its own, and then we have Roode and Ziggler, who shouldn’t like Reigns in the first place, attacking him because….he took time off for cancer? It feels like it could be the start of Reigns’ big road to redemption, because that’s a story WWE loves to do. It isn’t the worst thing they could go with, but please find a more interesting way to go about doing so.

Overall Rating: D+. The first half was pretty good but it was downhill in a hurry with the Corbin stuff not doing it any favors. This felt really out of place after last week with Imperium and Baszler being the only invaders, and Imperium is more of a different thing than last week. The previous show felt important and interesting while this one felt like a standard “we’re in England” show. It’s the curse of the schedule again, as I’m assuming they didn’t want to bring all the NXT people over and therefore we have to wait a week to get back to what was a hot angle. We got one week out of it, but WWE fumbled it. Again.

Results

New Day b. Revival – Trouble in Paradise to Dawson

Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro b. Ali/Shorty G – Kinshasa to Ali

Sasha Banks b. Nikki Cross – Bank Statement

Carmella/Dana Brooke b. Fire & Desire – Swanton to Deville

King Corbin b. Roman Reigns – End of Days

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That would look to set up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Aside from Lesnar, a lot of the roster for this show is the same. However, there are several wrestlers that have debuted for the company but aren’t on the show tonight. Over the summer, Batista, Randy Orton and John Cena all debuted and most of them made a strong impact upon arriving. We’ll be hearing more from them in the future but it’s not their time yet. Let’s get to it.

The intro video is almost all about the Chamber.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match and it’s Bubba and Spike Dudley instead of D-Von due to the Brand Split. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. 3 Minute Warning (Jamal and Rosey) are two very large Samoans and Rico is their athletic stylist. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Jamal and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Well of course there is. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder and shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with for a change. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope hurricanrana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal as people really didn’t jump from roster to roster. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Stacy is at the World (WWF New York) looking great. She introduces Saliva who is doing a mini-concert at the club. They perform Always here to eat up a few minutes and we get a video about the remaining matches.

RVD is stretching before the Chamber.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie (white trash from a trailer park) is defending and has Nidia (Tough Enough winner) with him. Kidman (talented cruiserweight from WCW) grabs two very fast rollups for two each and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman loads up a belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead. Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits an elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

Angle and Benoit are in the back and Angle is incensed that Kidman could win a title. If he can win, then so can they, as long as Benoit stays out of the captain’s way. Benoit gets in his face but Angle says they should be friends to the end. Benoit offers a handshake but Angle says no way. Angle: “I don’t shake hands! Tag team partners hug!”

Victoria (new Diva) is still psycho here and looking in a mirror. Then she thinks it’s Trish and goes nuts.

We recap Trish vs. Victoria. Victoria is batty and claims that it’s because she and Trish used to work together as fitness models, but Trish slept her way to the top. Tonight it’s about revenge in a hardcore match.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending in a rematch after she beat Victoria last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.

Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.

It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a hurricanrana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.

That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Victoria off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick gets two for Trish and a bulldog gets the same. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish in the face. A followup suplex of all things is enough to give Victoria the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.

Booker is getting ready.

Bischoff brags about the Chamber for a bit. Big Show comes up and says he’ll show Eric why trading him to Smackdown was a bad idea.

Heyman is worried that Brock can’t beat Big Show. Lesnar has legitimately injured ribs due to Show hurting him at a house show.

We recap Show vs. Lesnar. Lesnar beat Undertaker in the Cell last month, so Show beat up Undertaker to make himself the next challenger. Even Heyman says Brock can’t beat him.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending here and is mostly a face now. It’s on in a hurry as the fans are behind Lesnar. Show gets in a shot to the ribs in the corner and launches Brock across the ring. Brock is all like BRING IT ON and grabs a double leg to take Show down. They head to the floor and Brock gets rammed into the post. Back in and Brock pounds away before hitting something like a belly to back suplex. Show misses a charge and Brock “hits” a German, which means Show lands on Brock’s head. Brock tries an F5 but Show knees him in the ribs.

The referee gets bumped and Brock THROWS Big Show down with an overhead belly to belly. Heyman tosses in a chair and Brock cracks Show over the head with it. There’s the F5 and a new referee but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring. This makes no sense and I’ll get to why in a second. Lesnar figures out what’s going on and gives chase, but charges right into a pair of chair shots to the ribs. Show chokeslams Brock onto the chair for the pin and the title. That’s Brock’s first ever loss.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for Lesnar’s INSANE power. Here’s why this match ticks me off: Lesnar had to get the title taken off of him because of injury. That’s fine. So they pick BIG SHOW to take it from him? This is the same idea as Nash beating Goldberg: you have an unstoppable monster and you take the title off of him for the sake of this veteran? You have Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Edge on the Smackdown roster and you pick BIG SHOW? Now to be fair Angle got the title in a month, but why not just cut out the middle man and make a new star?

As for why Heyman’s turn makes no sense, the whole idea of the match was that Heyman didn’t think Lesnar could suplex, F5 or beat Big Show. He did the first two things and had Show beat until Heyman turned. Heyman is a lot of things, but he’s always been someone that knows what kind of a monster he’s got and sticks with them to the end. This is out of character for him, especially when an injured Brock had proven he could beat Show. So on top of being a bad match with bad booking, it makes no sense. Nice job WWE.

Show and Heyman immediately bail.

We recap the triple threat Tag Team Title match. Benoit and Angle beat Rey and Edge in the match of the year at No Mercy in a tournament final. The new champions argued over who is team captain and have to work together or they’re suspended. Edge and Mysterio won the titles on Smackdown in 2/3 falls match. Stephanie threw in Los Guerreros because these are the Smackdown Six and you can’t have just four of them together, even though we’ve had that for months. Not that I’m complaining though, because this is going to be AWESOME.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are champions and this is under elimination rules. It’s Mysterio vs. Benoit to start which is fine with me. Benoit hits a HARD chop but gets caught in a hurricanrana and a flapjack to give Rey what will likely be a short lived advantage. Off to Edge for a double hiptoss before Kurt gets the tag and a big pop. Chavo punches Angle in the back of the head and apparently that’s a tag.

Chavo gets shouldered down but nips up immediately. Off to Mysterio vs. Eddie which is one of those pairings that works no matter what. A headscissors takes Eddie down and it’s off to Kurt to face the masked man. They’re going very fast paced so far. Angle misses a charge into the post but Rey takes too much time on the top and gets run over by Kurt. The Olympian tags in the Canadian who suplexes Rey down for two.

Back to Angle who suplexes Rey down and gets in a cheap shot on Edge. The Angle Slam is countered but Angle clotheslines Rey down instead. Back to Chris as Tazz talks about Los Guerreros not wanting to get in yet. The battling partners tag in again so Angle can put on a front facelock. Rey fights up after about a minute in the hold and kicks Kurt in the face to take him down.

There’s the hot tag to Edge who cleans house with a bunch of suplexes. Eddie comes in and goes to the floor with Rey. Edge misses the spear and gets caught in a Crossface and ankle lock AT THE SAME TIME. Mysterio breaks both parts of the hold up and Chavo pulls Angle to the floor. Rey dives on both of them and Benoit Germans Edge but Eddie comes in off the top to sunset flip Benoit, sending Edge flying in a German for two each. Eddie gets suplexed to the floor with his head smashing into the apron on the way down.

Benoit rolls more Germans on Edge (Is it any wonder why he needed neck surgery five months after this?) and Eddie hits the Frog Splash on Edge but Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Eddie. Angle Slam and Ankle lock to Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge. Chavo hits Benoit with a belt and throws it to Angle. Benoit thinks Angle hit him and Mysterio dropkicks Chris into Angle. Angle and Rey go to the floor and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination. Absolutely amazing sequence there which NEVER STOPPED.

Angle and Benoit destroy Edge and Rey before leaving. They lay out Los Guerreros too for fun. Eddie vs. Edge keeps the match going and Eddie suplexes the Canadian down before it’s off to Chavo. Chavo pounds away on Edge as Los Guerreros double team. We get down to a much more standard tag team formula with Edge playing Ricky Morton. Edge finally comes back with a double clothesline and it’s off to Rey.

Things speed up again with Rey flying all over the place and hitting a headscissors to put Chavo down. Edge spears both guys down and launches Rey up to hurricanrana Eddie off the top. That’s another awesome sequence. There’s the 619 to Eddie but Chavo hits Rey in the back to break up the West Coast Pop. Eddie puts on the Lasso From El Paso (a Boston Crab/Sharpshooter hybrid) for the tap and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a match that felt like it got hacked to death. If you give these guys another 15 minutes (the match ran 20) and take away the belt shots, the match gets a lot better. The first half, as in before the first elimination, is INCREDIBLE. The stuff after that though is good but standard. Still though, these guys were the future of the company and it was a good sign to see them. Combine that with three guys named Batista, Orton and Cena that had debuted earlier in the year and you’ve got the next five years of WWE.

Christopher Nowitski (a Harvard graduate from Tough Enough) is here to make fun of New York in a really dull promo. Matt Hardy comes out to yell at him before blasting New York as well. The mouth running goes on even longer until FINALLY Scott Steiner debuts and murders them. Somehow this took nearly eight minutes. Steiner would go on to have perhaps the two worst PPV World Title matches in recorded history against HHH before being shunted down the card.

Shawn Michaels says he believes in himself but we get RNN BREAKING NEWS! It’s Randy Orton, who has a bad shoulder. He says there’s no new damage to his bad shoulder due to an extra pillow on the plane. This was the WAY over the top deal that Orton was doing which first turned him heel. I loved it but it got annoying fast, which is the right idea.

We recap the Elimination Chamber. HHH is the official WORLD CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING but Shawn beat him at Summerslam and wants a rematch. Bischoff wants to top the Cell so here’s his latest idea. The rules are mostly simple: two guys start and there are four more in individual pods. After five minutes there’s a new guy introduced and it’s elimination rules. The winner is world champion. The other four guys are there because they’re the biggest stars on Raw. This video is set to Always again and they’re not even trying to hide that this is mostly about HHH vs. Shawn.

HHH says that he’s awesome and he’ll keep the title.

Eric comes out and walks through the Chamber to explain everything I just said. Apparently the glass is bulletproof. This is the first time the Chamber had been seen and I believe the first time the rules have been explained.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is a Tag Team Champion with Christian, but the cool part here is that as he comes out, Saliva does his theme song live at WWF New York. HHH is defending of course. Shawn’s tights are….brown. This is one of those decisions that no one ever quite got and he was made fun of extensively for them apparently. I mean…..BROWN? Mankind wore brown for crying out loud. The wide shot of the Chamber really does look cool. Anyway the entrances take a long time and RVD vs. HHH gets us going.

Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to take HHH down but walks into a facebuster. The Pedigree is countered into a backdrop over the top to hit the cage outside the ring. JR’s statements about the Chamber are already nuts as he says it has no soul or conscience. As in the pieces of steel and metal. Anyway, HHH is rammed into the cage over and over to bust him open and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder over the top rope to land on HHH on the cage. There’s a floor made of cage surrounding the ring that is level with the mat if that wasn’t clear.

Van Dam goes up on one of the pods but his flip dive mostly hits the floor instead of HHH. Back in the ring and HHH gets stomped down in the corner as Jericho is added in as the third man. Van Dam immediately kicks him down and it’s five minutes until the next entrant. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two on Jericho and they head outside the ring as well. In the first famous spot in the Chamber’s history, Van Dam jumps off the top rope, misses Jericho, and grabs onto the cage like Spider-Man before spinning back around to cross body Jericho.

HHH gets back up and hits the knee to the face of Van Dam which gives Jericho a two count. HHH and Jericho double team RVD before Chris tells Shawn to suck it. Van Dam’s back gets rammed into the cage wall some more and Jericho talks a lot of trash. Rob’s back goes into the cage over and over and we head back in to the ring. There’s a spin kick to put Jericho down as Booker T is in fourth.

Booker quickly clears the ring and we get a Spinarooni before Van Dam fights Booker one on one. Booker gets in some shots to Rob but walks into the stepover kick to give Van Dam control again. HHH gets back up and takes Van Dam down, only to get caught by the scissors kick from Booker. The next big spot of the match is Van Dam going up to the top of the pod and hitting the Five Star on HHH, with Van Dam’s knee hitting HHH’s throat, severely (and legitimately) injuring HHH’s windpipe. Since HHH can’t get up right now to eliminate Van Dam, Booker hits a missile dropkick to take Van Dam out.

Booker grabs a quick cover on HHH but only gets two. Jericho goes after Booker but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for his efforts. Kane comes in fifth and goes off on Booker and Jericho as HHH lays on the outside. Jericho gets launched face first into the cage wall and is then thrown through the bulletproof, yes BULLETPROOF, glass. This would become a running joke in the Chamber over the years.

JR says the Chamber has no soul or conscience again just to hammer home the point. Kane chokeslams Booker and Jericho adds the Lionsault to take Booker out and get us down to four guys. A Kane suplex gets two on Jericho as we’re waiting on Shawn to come in. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down ala Flair. Jericho missile dropkicks Kane down and here’s HBK.

HHH is down in the corner of course so Shawn can only beat on Kane and Jericho. There’s the forearm to Kane but no nipup, leaving everyone down at the moment. Kane whips Shawn HARD into the corner where Shawn flips upside down. There’s a chokeslam for all three remaining guys not named Kane but instead of covering, Kane loads up a Tombstone on HHH. Shawn superkicks Kane down but he sits up. The Pedigree and Lionsault finally put Kane out and we’re down to three.

Shawn gets double teamed by HHH and Jericho and it’s time for Chris to dance. A few rams into the cage bust Shawn open. Jericho talks more trash and HHH walks around a lot. Shawn tries to fight back but his piledriver on the cage is countered to backdrop his bad back onto the cage again. There’s the Lionsault….for two.

Shawn comes back with a moonsault press to Jericho for two before putting Jericho in the Walls. HHH finally comes back from getting popcorn or something with a DDT to Shawn. Jericho and HHH finally get in the argument you were expecting and the fight is on. Jericho jumps out of the corner and lands in the Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls. While holding HHH, Shawn kicks Jericho’s head off and it’s down to one on one.

So it’s Shawn, bloodied and injured and in his second match in four years, against an also injured HHH in the main event at Madison Square Garden. The spinebuster puts Shawn down and HHH backdrops him over the top. Shawn sends HHH into the cage but when Shawn tries to Pedigree HHH on the steel, HHH counters into a slingshot through the cage again.

Back in the ring all that gets two and it’s time for the slugout. A facebuster puts Shawn down and it’s another clothesline to put him onto the outside. The Pedigree on the steel is countered into another slingshot into the Chamber wall. Back into the ring and Shawn drops the elbow off the top of the pod. The Superkick is countered into the Pedigree and, say it with me, Shawn kicks out at two. Another Pedigree is countered into a backdrop, followed by the Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the title.

Rating: D+. I’ve mellowed on this match in the last few years to the point where I’m not mad about it anymore. However, it’s still one of those matches where you look at it and say really. As in REALLY? We’re supposed to buy that Shawn can survive ALL of that and still win the title? You have to keep in mind this isn’t the Shawn who was having the match of the year for like five years running. No one expected him to go on as long as he did. At this point, making it to Wrestlemania would have been impressive.

That’s where this match loses it for me: we’re supposed to buy that Shawn is so great, so amazing, and so tough that he can basically walk off the street and be better than four of the top guys in the business? There comes a point where my suspension of disbelief is cut off and I can’t buy this anymore. We passed that at Summerslam, making this even more ridiculous. This match is also the reason we had to sit through the AWFUL match at Armageddon, where HHH and Shawn got to waste 40 minutes of our time by barely being able to move.

In short, this is way more than I can accept as far as the match being realistic. In wrestling, you have to accept that some stuff is ridiculous. That’s called suspending disbelief. However, there comes a point where that’s not the case any longer. It’s unrealistic in wrestling terms to accept that Shawn can survive all this and win the title. This was pure selfishness from Shawn and HHH, which would get WAY worse in the future. HHH wouldn’t make a new star for over a YEAR when he put Benoit over at Wrestlemania in the same arena.

As for the rest of the match, it’s acceptable, but WAY too long. The Chamber matches need to go about thirty minutes instead of the forty this one went. The last seventeen minutes here, as in the amount of time after Kane is eliminated, are REALLY repetitive and while they had good drama, they needed to be cut. Booker, RVD, Jericho and Kane were all there to fill in spaces and be there for Shawn and HHH to bounce off of. I don’t hate the match, but it really doesn’t work all that well.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show overall is pretty solid actually but the main event is a good sized letdown. The Show/Lesnar stuff I went on about enough, but other than those two things the card is pretty solid. The triple threat tag is good stuff but the No Mercy match is even better. This show is worth checking out, but you won’t be thrilled by the Chamber.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B+

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dang that’s a big swing on the Chamber. I don’t remember liking it that much the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well, it’s a completely new company now, with the primary difference being the brand split. Also, HBK is back, having one final match at Summerslam and now another one final match here tonight. Tonight has no Survivor Series matches but we do have the debut of the Elimination Chamber. The other major difference is the reigning WWE (yes E instead of F) Champion Brock Lesnar, who has absolute taken the company and the wrestling world by storm as he won the title at Summerslam.

Rock is now gone off to Hollywood to make I think Rundown. HHH is heel now and is the reigning World Heavyweight Champion. The rest of the card really doesn’t look like much at all. We have a lot of the new guys that would come to define this era now, such as the Guerreros and Mysterio. This is of course most famous for the end of the Elimination Chamber, but maybe the rest is good too. Let’s find out.

First of all, the theme song for this show is Always by Saliva, which is my all time, undisputed favorite song, so I’m already loving this show. As tends to happen with the Brand Split shows, there’s no intro video and we head right into the first match.

Bubba/Spike/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Bubba and Spike come out to another Saliva song, as they might as well just have been the official band of the company at this time. That’s fine with me as I like them. They sucked in concert though, but the tickets were 15 dollars for three bands and they were certainly worth five bucks. Anyway, Bubba and Spike are the Dudleys now as D-Von is a preacher on Smackdown with a deacon named Batista.

Three Minute Warning is more commonly known as Rosie and Jamal, who is more known as Umaga. Rico is the, shall we say, flamboyant guy that just showed up earlier in the year. These guys are fighting for no apparent reason other than they’re a team feuding with another team. Jeff is there…well I doubt he knows why either. Three Minute Warning beat up Jeff and Spike on Raw apparently.

Bubba is wearing a black vest/shirt and camouflage shorts so he looks stupider than usual. As the match starts we get to the high spots as Bubba launches Spike at the big guys but they catch him. Bubba assumes the position and they set up Poetry in Motion for Jeff who is as far in the air as I can ever remember him getting. That looked SWEET. The what’s up hits on I think Jamal as they have to tag in this? I’ll never get the point in having tagging in gimmick matches like these. It just makes no sense.

The point of the match is to put people through tables yet you can get disqualified? Yeah that makes zero sense. Bubba gets a table set up in the corner which gets Spike head rammed into it. Rosey dives at Spike but misses so he goes through it himself, which doesn’t count because he wasn’t put through it by an opponent. We’re already in a spot fest here which is what this should be. I can’t imagine any of them being able to work a long term match so this is the best thing they could have done.

Spike is taken out by a double powerbomb which makes sense as he tends to just suck most of the time anyway. If he wasn’t such a strange character, Rico could have been something special. From what I’ve read he’s a great cop though so that’s a good thing. He had a real job to fall back on which is something I completely respect.

After a brief exchange of power between the faces and the heels, we move out into the crowd. Rico shouting at Jamal to get Bubba makes me chuckle. I love how again they’ve just said screw the tag rules and are going insane after about a minute into the match. All five guys are back together again as JR is all of a sudden stunned that a Hardy and a Dudley are working together.

Jeff climbs way in the air and hits a swanton through Rosey through a table off part of the set. Again, the high spots are making this one work. Everyone but Hardy is back in the ring now. Rico goes for a moonsault but seems hesitant to actually jump. He turns to look at the other side of the ring and clearly can be heard and lip read saying Jeff come on dang it! Oh that’s just great Rico. Naturally Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico goes down about a second later.

That was just completely horrible and inexcusable on Rico’s part. I know Jeff is the one that missed the spot, but there had to be another option. Rico as a heel could act like he has another idea, or he could pretend to slip, or he could pretend to be scared. There’s a ton of other options besides exposing things like he did. The faces start their comeback with Jeff leading the charge. I wouldn’t have believed that he would one day be a three time world champion.

Considering what I’m watching, that’s just weird to type. Jamal puts Jeff through a table but for some reason they say it was Jeff messing up that caused it. Jeff messing up? NO WAY. It’s completely stupid because a second later, Jamal goes to the top and splashes Jeff through the table. Well that was a waste of time but it was a cool looking spot. Again, I couldn’t have imagined that these two would have a rather lengthy feud over the IC Title in the future.

That’s why you pay attention to the midcard and openers: you never know when they might be having decent matches in the future. The splash was sick at least. So we have Bubba against a future IC Champion and the guy that was John Cena’s old tag partner in OVW (talk about two careers that went in opposite directions). Bubba counters a hurricanrana attempt by Jamal into a powerbomb through the table so we have Bubba and Rico. Yeah this isn’t interesting anymore.

Three Minute Warning come back and beat the heck out of Bubba, but D-Von runs out in Dudley gear to reform the team. He beats up both big guys on his own to set up the 3D on Rico to a MASSIVE pop. This was when the Dudleys actually meant something. Bubba, after getting help on a 3D which took awhile to set up, is surprised that D-Von is there. That makes no sense but ok.

Rating: B. From a technical standpoint, this match was crap. However, considering what it was supposed to be, this was great stuff. It was mainly high spots and violence, but that’s exactly what it was supposed to be. The crowd was WAY into the reuniting at the end, so they’re fired up, meaning this match has more than done its job.

You have to consider what kind of a match you’re watching. Not everything is going to be like Savage vs. Steamboat, but a lot aren’t supposed to be. I think that’s a mistake a lot of people make when grading matches and it’s not a fair comparison to make. Considering what this was, it was great.

Stacy is at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York since they couldn’t just call it WWE New York I guess. She looks as amazing as ever, showing off her perfect stomach in a nice blue number. She’s Test’s PR person at this point, meaning she says testicles a lot. She introduces Saliva who sings Always, making this segment awesome. They’re at the club, so that’s a very nice touch.

This is spliced together with short highlight packages of the feuds for this show. Also, the singer, Josey Scott, DESPERATELY needs to grow his hair out again. He has it really short now and it looks horrible. This looks like a decent performance. Why in the world weren’t they this good when I saw them? This song set to the HHH vs. Shawn feud is great for some reason. They’re doing a concert at the club and as they go into Click Click Boom we go back to the arena.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

This was around the time where the belt meant absolutely nothing at all. More or less there would be a challenger of the month and someone would get a big non title winning streak against the champion, which would Noble in this case. Kidman beat him in a non title match of course, because that’s just how things are done. No one cared about the title at all and the way it wasn’t built up at all was living proof of that.

Naturally, this is going to be the match of the night because these guys are going to go nowhere and having no storyline whatsoever other you pin me, I pin you, we get a PPV paycheck because of it. Oh yeah Noble is with his girlfriend Nidia at this point, who was a co-winner of Tough Enough. Both have just terrible music that’s so painfully generic. Tazz says Noble has something up his sleeve, despite him not wearing a shirt, meaning he has no sleeve. That’s not my insight or joke.

Those are the exact words he said. Amazing. The crowd is deader than Noble’s career at this point. Kidman goes for the shooting star (Both Bourne’s and Lesnar’s are better. I don’t mean the botched Mania one, but the one in OVW. Go look it up. It’s RIDICULOUS. He just jumps into the air and hits it halfway across the ring. It’s one of the truly mindblowing moments in wrestling history), but Nidia pulls him out.

Shockingly, once the match picks up, the crowd is alive. All of a sudden this is good. Kidman hits a forward DDT off the top rope but somehow only gets a two. Since Noble is the champion he has to respond. So he sets Kidman on the top rope for a spike DDT. Think of the thing Orton does when he puts someone’s feet on the middle rope and DDTs them, but a rope higher and a shorter guy so it’s at an even sharper angle. DANG my mouth just fell open.

That looked awesome and it got a great reaction. Naturally it should cripple him so it gets a two and within fifteen seconds Kidman is back in control. And you wonder why these guys get criticized. After a brief comeback, Kidman hits the shooting star for the title. Well that was abrupt to say the least. I really hate Kidman’s bad rap music.

Rating: C+. Well the beginning flat out sucked. After about two minutes though, they just went at it and it got good. The lack of pins when they should have happened hurt things a bit though, or at least Kidman being in control after a sick DDT fifteen seconds later is just stupid, but other than that, this was fine. It’s not great, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Benoit and Angle argue over who the captain is. Benoit is breaking the rule of wearing your own brand’s shirt means jobber. Angle has reached baldness at this point. After they stop arguing, Benoit sticks out his hand, but Angle hugs him. The look on Benoit’s face is breathtakingly funny.

Jericho, rocking a three inch minimum beard, is getting ready. We’ve seen RVD do this earlier in the night.

Crazy Victoria gets in an argument with her mirror that she shatters. Victoria as a psycho is one of the sexiest gimmicks of all time, hands down. King and Ross debate this as Always plays so this is great again. We recap Trish vs. Victoria which is something about Victoria being held back by Trish, with part of the package being set to a rip off of the Psycho theme. How awesome is that?

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

This is hardcore rules. Sadly Victoria just has generic rock music here instead of All The Things She Said, which fit her so well. They really were nailing music around this time. How did they mess that up later on? Trish’s music just plain works. This might as well just be billed as hotness in a ring as Trish is of course gorgeous and I’ve always had a thing for Victoria. I think it’s the jet black straight hair, but that’s just me I guess.

They fight with a broom and for some reason I feel like I’m watching some kind of screwed up ballet or interpretive dance thing. It’s just odd indeed. Lawler implies that Victoria is ugly. What the heck? I mean, yeah Trish is likely prettier but that’s like saying Ted Turner isn’t rich compared to Warren Buffet. Turner is hardly a poor man. Granted he probably got close with how much WCW lost but whatever.

There are people walking in front of the entrance which is again across from the cameras and it’s rather distracting. Let’s fight over an ironing board because there’s nothing weird about having one of those in a match at all. The “ugly” diva is bleeding from her nose. How in the world is she supposed to be ugly? She’s GORGEOUS. Heck I’d even say she’s a knockout. That was dangerously close to being clever. Trish gets a kick to Victoria’s chest.

Since no one noticed that the kick missed apparently, Trish just does it again which looks stupid as it makes you think that something was wrong with the first one. For some reason the way JR is talking about the women using things on each other makes me think I’m watching something rather different. Actually that’s not a bad idea. Victoria wins out of absolutely nowhere with a snap suplex. That again just came out of freaking nowhere. More Victoria bashing as she leaves which is just stupid.

Rating: C-. This was…different. It was ok but it just wasn’t what these two likely should have been in. I get the hardcore aspect given Victoria’s character, but this never had the right feeling to it for me. It wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t feel right if that makes sense. They looked good, but just not in the right place. I have no idea what I meant by that so don’t bother asking.

Booker is getting ready as we hear more Always.

Bischoff is talking about something when Big Show comes in and says he’ll be sorry for trading him. Why? For winning a title on another show? How does that prove anything? Whatever.

Brock (who gets a pop) and Heyman are in the back also, with Heyman being nervous. Brock has a broken rib (more on that later) which explains the nervousness.

We recap the feud with Brock and Show, which doesn’t really exist. Brock had won a feud against Taker and Show beat up Taker, which somehow got him a title shot. The idea is simple: Show is too big for Brock to throw around like he has done to everyone else.

On Smackdown, Brock had called out Show and beat the living tar out of him with a chair. The chair actually looks tiny between these two, despite Brock not being incredibly tall (6’2). Heyman and Brock had been showing signs of tension, more or less giving away the ending to this match already.

WWE Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Show’s stupid outfit of choice around this time was the singlet top and long black pants. Not tights mind you, but pants. And people wonder why this guy is criticized like no other main eventer ever. Show has some arm injury or something. Crowd pops like a coconut for Brock. He’s more or less a face already at this point so we were just waiting for Heyman to screw him over.

With Brock it’s a classic case of someone that’s supposed to be a heel but is just such a freak that he gets wildly over anyway. The crowd is completely for Lesnar here with a big chant for him starting about eight seconds into the match. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s pro Brock or anti-Show. Big Show is probably at the worst stage of his career here as he just completely and utterly sucked.

No one, I repeat no one, wanted to see him here to do anything but make Brock look awesome, and that’s why he’s here. Think about it: what better way to make Lesnar look great other than to have him throw around the biggest guy in the company? Show starts off with his standard offensive strategy of “let’s do as little as possible but try to make it seem like I’m doing a lot because I’m so freaking fat.”

Naturally, it doesn’t work as Brock just spears the heck out of him. Shame he didn’t do that more often with the Vikings. Show just looks idiotic dressed the way he is. It looks like he’s getting dressed for his job as an accountant or something like that. When Vince wrestles dressed like that, it looks fine because he’s not a pro wrestler and more or less is just a street fighter in a wrestling ring. Show is a multi time world champion. See why that’s stupid?

Lesnar actually gets a decent belly to back. I say decent because it sucked but Big Show is more or less dead weight because he’s spent three minutes in. Lesnar makes up for it with a German. That was nice. My goodness Show is horrible. I mean seriously, all he’s doing are forearms, bad punches and weak kicks. Brock is legit hurt here and is doing 99% of the work, mainly because Show is spent.

Following a ref bump, Lesnar gets a fine (given the circumstances) overhead belly to belly on Show. This guy is legit scary. Despite his client kicking Show’s face all over the Garden, Heyman throws in a chair and you can see it coming a mile away. Show is back up and breathing in enough air to suffocate the first nine rows. Brock gets his chair shot punched and more or less says boy please by cracking Show over the head and F5ing him, in something that just blows my mind completely.

He’s legitimately hurt, and he pulls that off. I mean just DANG. Here’s your other referee, and here’s your Heyman heel (I guess) turn to go with it. Cole’s commentary is bad to put it mildly. The look on Brock’s face is scary. I mean really scary. He chases Heyman but gets nailed with the chair and chokeslammed on it, and Show wins the title as the fans are mad. I don’t mean mad because the heel won, but mad in the sense of who freaking booked this because we want them shot.

This was less than four and a half minutes, actually making it one of the shortest world title matches where the title changed hands in history. Heyman and Show embrace as Show looks stupider than usual somehow. Cole saying that it’s surprising because Lesnar and Heyman have been together since Brock got there. That’s about seven months if you’re counting. The heels run to their waiting limo and leave naturally as we get the second replay of this.

Rating: D-. This is a tale of two ratings here. Lesnar gets a pass in every sense of the word here. I mentioned the ribs being a point of interest. They were injured by Show at a house show because he wasn’t safe in the ring at this point. Lesnar was supposed to go over Show here but because of the injury, the Big Show of all people gets the belt. I’ve never seen a main event guy that flat out didn’t deserve it as much as he did here.

I mean he was just flat out embarrassing out there. It was nothing but punches and forearms, while Lesnar can barely breathe because his bones are in pieces and he’s out there throwing Show around, yet he’s the one that has to lose the freaking belt because Big Show, the fat load that he is, injured him and there’s no other way to go.

THANKFULLY, Show was champion for a month as he dropped it to Angle at the next PPV, leading to the absolute classic of Benoit vs. Angle that happened at the Rumble. I can’t wait to get to that one. Anyway, Show sucks, Lesnar is the freaking man, end of story.

We go into the recap of the three way feud between Edge/Mysterio, Angle/Benoit, and the Guerreros. More or less, Angle and Benoit won the inaugural tag titles in a tournament (Billy Kidman and John Cena were partners. How weird does that sound?) beating Edge and Mysterio in perhaps the best tag match of all time the previous month.

Edge and Mysterio took them from them in a 2/3 falls match on Smackdown. The Guerreros are there…well because there was nothing else for them to do I guess. The main thing here is Angle and Benoit are arguing over who the captain is, but when they get in the ring they’re so awesome that it doesn’t really matter.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Benoit/Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Rey is still more or less a rookie at this point. This is elimination rules also. Al Wilson and Dawn Marie, who are engaged, are at ringside. This was a disturbing angle, but it led to a lesbian angle with Torrie and Dawn Marie, so it’s awesome. Al might have been the first WWE TV character to actually die. That’s saying a lot. The intros take forever as Benoit, Angle, Edge and Mysterio all have their own entrances.

Edge is getting all kinds of pops, as is Mysterio. That’s saying a lot considering Benoit and Angle are far bigger stars. We start with Benoit and Mysterio. That’s fine by me. Cole calls the match where Edge and Rey won the titles historic. Why? It was a 2/3 falls match and while it was good, I’d hardly say it was historic, but it’s Michael Cole so just a bit over the top is good for him. Angle gets another great pop as the crowd is white hot for everything here.

Eddie and Chavo are both cowards of course. Imagine if Edge and Mysterio were midgets. Chavo would be running for his life. Rey comes in and gets things going much faster which is what you need him to do. Eddie is just a midcard guy here and wouldn’t get a real main event push for a little over a year. Anyone can tag anyone here, making this very interesting indeed. This is a really fast paced match which makes sense given who’s in there.

Kurt slams his shoulder into the post as hard as anyone I’ve ever seen. That was painful looking. This is another of those matches that is hard to make fun of because it’s good so far. Angle was back to being goofy at this point which hurt him a bit, but it worked in the ring still. He puts a front facelock on Rey, which after eight minutes at that pace, I think it’s ok for a short break.

As soon as they break that up, Kurt and Rey crank it right back up again and the crowd is right back into it. That’s a good sign that the crowd stays with you. Angle goes for the tag but Eddie and Chavo hit the floor as Edge comes in. Edge and Kurt had been feuding for awhile now with Edge, resulting in Angle’s lack of hair. Angle counters the spear into the ankle lock and Benoit adds the crossface for the double submission attempt.

Rey hits a springboard seated senton to take out Kurt and then a dropkick to take out Benoit. Chavo pulls Angle to the floor as Rey hits the ropes and launches a corkscrew over the ropes to take them both out. Benoit starts the rolling Germans but on the third one, Eddie comes off the top with a sunset flip to Benoit who doesn’t let go of Edge, resulting in Benoit being in the sunset flip and Edge being suplexed at the exact same time.

Beginning with the Edge spear and ending with the kick outs from Edge and Benoit, that took about thirty seconds and was possibly the most exciting thirty seconds in the history of the Survivor Series. I was in absolute awe of it and that hardly ever happens to me. That was absolutely epic. Within seconds, and by that I mean like two, they’re going again, this time with Benoit beating on Edge even more.

He goes for the headbutt but Eddie hits the Frog Splash, but Benoit hits the headbutt to break up the pin. Before anything else can happen, Angle runs in and puts the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit has the crossface on Edge. Chavo brings the belt in which is something that I hate. It was one of the fastest paced and flat out entertaining matches I can ever remember seeing until then, but I guess it fits the gimmick.

Benoit thinks Angle hit him because he took the belt from Chavo. Benoit and Angle get into it, allowing Rey to hit Benoit to set up for the spear, eliminating Benoit and Angle. They lay out the champions before leaving in an argument, which sets up their best match of their absolutely epic series at the Rumble. Wow once they left the life got sucked out of this thing. I’m thinking one fall might have been the way to go here.

Rey comes in with a springboard cross body so high you would think he was Jeff Hardy. Edge spears both guys in the corner at once to set up the worst move ever: the Bronco Buster. It doesn’t hit which makes me cheer. Rey hits the 619 but Chavo hits the belt shot to the back which makes Rey tap to the Lasso From El Paso, which is more or less a weak Boston Crab. I’m really not wild on the standard cheating to win the belts here at all.

This could have been great and the first half was, but sadly this was the end of the greatness that was the early days of the WWE Tag Titles. Within less than a year we would have teams like Haas and Rico and Rikishi and Scotty winning the titles. The belts became jokes of course because Vince can’t allow any great wrestling on any show period, because it might make them realize that half of the stuff he’s got is just flat out terrible.

Rating: B. This is another tale of two matches. The first half, which is with Benoit and Angle, was some of the most entertaining, breath taking fast paced greatness that I’ve ever seen in a tag match. The part after that could have been an example from a book called How to Have a Boring Title Change.

I mean there was nothing that would have kept that part from being on any run of the mill TV show or house show for that matter. That’s how typical it was. From what I’ve read, this match was blown out of the water by the No Mercy match which had no Guerreros in it, so that’s on my short list of must see matches.

Chris Nowitski, a Harvard graduate and Tough Enough guy that could have been a decent midcard heel if he hadn’t gotten injured. He has a degree from Harvard though so I think he’ll be fine. He got a bad concussion at a house show and was forced to retire. He now does a ton of great work studying the long term effects of concussions and does special appearances for WWE.

It looks good for a guy like this to be on Vince’s payroll, as it shows he’s actually caring or at least pretending to care about the long term health of his workers. Anyway, Chris cuts a decent anti-New York promo here. Considering he had been in the company about five months at this point, he wasn’t half bad. He never would have been anything great, but he could have made a pretty good manager or commentator, something along the lines of Matt Striker.

Actually, as I’m writing this it’s 3:30 AM on September 25. meaning to me it’s still Thursday night. It just so happens that Thursday the 24th was Chris’ gimmick that I’ve always loved. I have no idea what it was, but I loved it. What I could make of it was that he more or less started a cult/fan club, with his opening video being set up to look like a website, complete with really funny factoids on the side, traditionally two per entrance.

Tonight we learn that “Matt keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees” and “Matt only drinks lowfat chocolate milk.” This gimmick was one I always liked, which is saying a lot as there’s not a lot of them that I like. This one is unique to say the least though. He teases being a face by asking Chris who he thinks he is because apparently Chris didn’t insult New York strongly enough.

Matt’s promo is about as good as Chris’, which means that it’s a failure. Chris is a rookie and Matt is a veteran, meaning that it’s ok for Chris to be below average, but not for Matt. This was pretty weak, but as they leave we discover the point to this as Scott Steiner debuts. This was a bit of a surprise, but he had been on Confidential, which was one of the Saturday night shows that started off as great and wound up sucking, the night before saying he was a free agent.

This would lead to a bidding war between Raw and Smackdown, eventually won by Raw and leading to perhaps the worst match ever with him and HHH at the Rumble. He just happens to be in his gear for no apparent reason and beats the heck out of both heels without saying anything at all. Oh dear Scott Steiner has a live mic. Oh good it’s just his catchphrase. Anyone that doesn’t believe steroids happen in wrestling, just look at this freak.

Terri is with Shawn (who has the stupidest looking haircut of all time) as he’s talking about why he believes he can win the title when we have BREAKING NEWS from RNN. This was a short term gimmick that the newcomer known as Randy Orton was doing. Orton, with some fairly long and messy brown hair, talks about how he came to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because the flight didn’t hurt his shoulder any worse. Keep sending those get well soon emails!

We get a clipped down version of the video earlier recapping the feud. The basic idea is HHH vs. Shawn vs. four other upper midcard guys that have a prayer, but it’s highly unlikely that it’s going to end with anything other than DX exploding. Remember, this is Shawn’s 3rd match in nearly five years, if you count the Mania match against Austin. That’s ridiculous to say the least. Part of this feud was the great moment where Shawn came out in a wheelchair and got up to take out HHH.

HHH gets interrupted by Coach who is just a freaking moron, at least on camera. HHH actually says that the other five guys are some of the best in the world. That’s saying a lot coming from him. He says he has a first class ticket to a very warm place and the only question is who is coming with him. That’s almost a great line.

Bischoff comes out and walks us through how the chamber works and how deadly it is. If nothing else it looks awesome. The match isn’t weak at this point like it’s become now. The day before I got to this part, the announcement was made that No Way Out will be turned into another theme PPV about this. I really hate that. Hearing the words Elimination Chamber used to be a big deal, but now it’s just a cliché. It’s far worse with Hell in a Cell though.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. HBK vs. Booker T vs. RVD vs. Kane

This is in the Elimination Chamber. If you didn’t know that by now, then PAY ATTENTION YOU MORONS! Jericho is out first, which means that he and the other three after him will be in the pods. For those of you that have never seen one of these matches, the idea is fairly simple despite looking complex. You have a massive cage around the ring complete with a metal floor so in essence there’s the ring itself and then another area around it in a circle.

Behind each of the four ring posts there’s a smaller chamber with a person inside of it. We being with two men in the ring and four in the pods. After five minutes, another man is released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Jericho’s entrance is awesome as he’s using a Saliva song, and as he comes out we cut to the World where Saliva performs it live. That’s very cool when you think about it. Booker is next.

He’s here…uh…actually I have no idea why he’s in this. I guess because he’s a big name. He would feud with HHH heading into Mania, so I guess I’d call this a tryout in the main event scene for him. Jericho lost the title to HHH at Mania so there are his credentials in case you were wondering. Ah Booker pinned HHH in a tag match a few weeks ago. It’s better than no explanation I guess. Kane is third. I don’t think he really needs an explanation.

There’s actually four faces and two heels in this match, which is odd indeed. This was during the time where Vince came up with the BRILLIANT, YES BRILLIANT I SAY idea of unifying the midcard titles with the singles titles, so for about eight months there was no Intercontinental belt. Kane was the last champion before losing it to HHH a month or so prior to this, which I guess is why he’s in here. Shawn is fourth, to a solid pop.

He’s wearing brown tights. Yes I said brown. Two things about his entrance: JR says who else could this be? Well JR I don’t think Shawn sings anyone else’s music so I’d guess it’s him. Also, Fink introduces him as HBK: Shawn Michaels. I’ve never heard him called that. Ross is mentioning all of the wrestlers’ records at this show. Kane is 4-1 and Shawn is 5-5. Dang that’s a lot of Survivor Series appearences.

That leaves us with RVD vs. HHH to start, which sounds like a bad recipe for alphabet soup. Flair cheated RVD out of his title match at Unforgiven, so this is technically his rematch. Allegedly the chamber weighs ten tons. I could see it being 9.97 tons but not ten, there’s just no way. Flair is with HHH as that little thing called Evolution is on the horizon. In an interesting stat, HHH is 0-6 coming into this Survivor Series.

That’s quite surprising and a stat like the Streak that just kind of sneaks up on you. Yeah Evolution debuted February 3, 2003, which was my 15th birthday for those KB enthusiasts out there. There’s the bell and we’re on. Or is it off? For the absolute life of me, I don’t get why Vince refused to push RVD. Madison Square Garden is cheering for him so loudly that it’s hurting my ears. But since he’s from ECW, that’s the only reason he’s being cheered. It couldn’t be talent or anything like that.

Less than a minute in, they’re out on the area between the pods outside of the ring. This really is a cool looking structure. We have our first bloodshed inside of two minutes. With HHH on the cage floor, Van Dam does Rolling Thunder through the ring and then over the top. That was very sweet looking. Van Dam is beating the tar out of HHH here. He goes to climb one of the pods but Jericho literally pulls him partially into it, getting his leg inside. That was cool looking.

They beat on each other some more, which is the polite way to say that Van Dam is massacring him, as Jericho is the third man in. After some generic fast paced stuff, we get what’s likely he most famous spot of the match, as Van Dam jumps at Jericho but instead of hitting him, grabs onto the cage in mid air, sticking to it “like Spiderman” as everyone on the planet said, but Ross gets credit for.

It gets more cheers from the crowd, but that doesn’t mean anything at all because Van Dam just isn’t capable of carrying a crowd, because they don’t know what they want as much as Vince does. We get another famous line as Ross says these men are playing Russian roulette with their careers. Jericho shouts that he’s the king of the world. I didn’t like him in Titanic and was glad when he sank.

Lawler points out that HHH craves to be champion. Wouldn’t that mean that he’s content at the moment? Booker is in third and also gets a big pop, but he couldn’t be champion either because HHH gets better heat than he gets pops, so naturally HHH has to go over him too.

As was mentioned in my Summerslam 2002 review, this was a period of time in HHH’s career where all the criticism of him comes from as he simply wouldn’t lose to anyone, no matter how big of a star they were unless their name was Shawn Michaels. Booker comes in and kicks everyone half to death but before he can go back for the other half, we have a Spinnerooni.

He and Van Dam go at it for a bit as we hear again about how Van Dam is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole or whatever that expression is. Why do commentators always misuse the word literally? It’s really not that hard to get it right at all. Can Booker do anything other than kick people? That’s all he’s done in this match so far. RVD goes for the Five Star but goes up to the top of the pod and comes off with the splash, or at least he tries to.

The problem is the ceiling curves up to a point so there’s nowhere for him to jump, so more or less he falls on HHH. Van Dam’s leg lands on HHH’s throat and we go to a wide shot so we won’t see the referee throwing up the X. It was legit, so Booker hits a top rope dropkick (shocking isn’t it?) for the pin on Van Dam as HHH tries to breathe. He would have to take some time off because of that injury actually, so it was kind of serious.

The fans boo Van Dam’s elimination out of the building, but he’s not over at all because Vince has decided he’s not, and Vince is never wrong, right? Jericho and Booker try to buy HHH some more time by chopping the heck out of each other.

Kane brings some needed fresh blood into this match. This was probably the hottest period of his career other than his debut, and if they were ever going to put the belt on him, it likely should have come around this time, maybe in the spring after Mania. Alas, it would never happen and ONCE AGAIN they just turned him into a monster with nothing even remotely resembling direction of any sort. I hate that.

The guy is a former world champion, he’s big, he’s strong and he’s over, but we can never put the belt on him. Guys like RVD and Booker are both incredibly popular here, but neither would get the belt for almost five years from this point, or six years after they debuted. Benoit wouldn’t get the title for over four years and the same was true for Eddie. However, someone like Brock or Taker can come in and within a year be world champion.

It continues the long running theory I have: if Vince didn’t create them, he’s not going to push them. That’s why it annoys me when we see guys like Santino and Hornswoggle on TV all the time. Vince created them, so he’s going to push them down our throats until they get over or we stop complaining about them.

Instead of putting someone from outside of the company or someone that came up with the gimmick on their own that’s actually interesting, we get stupid things like Cedric the Entertainer and Al freaking Sharpton. Oh yeah Vince, keep up that in touch booking that you just love to do. And people wonder why the company nearly died in 2003. Anyway, Kane uses his standard stuff to beat on Jericho and Booker for awhile as HHH is still down.

Jericho starts another bad tradition in gimmick matches by being the first person to be thrown through the “bulletproof” glass. I can’t stand when they overhype stuff like that and then just completely destroy the mystique of the thing. In reality, Jericho would be cut to pieces here and likely in need of a hospital. He’s bleeding to an extent, but it’s far from horrible.

HHH is back up as Jericho, who isn’t dead, gets rid of Booker with the Lionsault after about a minute of rest. Jericho tries to climb a pod and you can hear Kane say where are you going Chris as he grabs him and pulls him down. That’s just creepy. As has been the custom we have two guys fighting and the other two are down. That’s kind of cheap but I can see why they have to do it. Actually I can’t. Why not have more violence?

If Jericho can get up after being thrown through “bulletproof” glass, then the whole pain thing is no big deal. The interval between Kane and Shawn is longer than five minutes to give him less time in the ring I guess. He comes in to a long but not very loud at all pop. Kane takes him down with a clothesline though, so that takes care of that. Never mind as he’s back up. Michaels isn’t quick but he’s sudden. I’ve heard that about a dozen times and have no clue what it means.

Ross lives in his own little world most of the time and I really don’t want to be there. Kane chokeslams everyone but doesn’t cover any of them because that would make sense, and we can’t have any of that of course. He goes to tombstone HHH but is shoved into Sweet Chin Music. He sits up and gets a Pedigree and the Lionsault ends him to get us down to three guys. What follows is more or less just the two of them beating the tar out of Shawn and making him bleed badly.

They also work on Shawn’s back a lot, which at least makes sense. Hey, did you know Shawn has wrestled once in almost five years because he broke his back? I wasn’t sure if you knew that this is Shawn’s second match in almost five years because he broke his back. I just wanted to make sure that it was known that this is Shawn’s second match in almost five years because he broke his back.

Shawn makes a small comeback but gets dropped on the cage floor to end that one. Shawn nips up only to be knocked back down again, which is one of the fastest pops and ending of a pop I’ve ever heard. He kicks out of the Lionsault and you already know the ending, but you don’t want to believe that it’s possible HBK winning the title really would have been a mind blowing thing as he had just come back and it was really considered a short term thing.

Jericho hooks the Walls, but HHH breaks them up for no apparent reason and they start going at it. They beat on each other for awhile so Shawn can rest a bit. I’m fine with that as he has very limited cardio at this point more than likely. Jericho hooks the Walls on HHH but gets his head kicked off and it’s one on one for the title, and all of a sudden it’s possible. HHH uses the spinebuster, which I don’t think had a name when Anderson used it.

I think I remember it being called the Anderson Drop at one point, which I kind of like. Did he really invent that move? If he did, that’s quite cool. Naturally HHH beats on Shawn even more with a focus on his back. Despite being introduced earlier as HBK, Ross says he’s no longer the Heart Break Kid. Is there a reason for that? To further complete the likelihood that Shawn will win the title, he gets launched through the bulletproof, yes I said bulletproof glass.

Despite being nearly murdered, he keeps fighting. There comes a point where things just get stupid. Also, credit should go to HHH for staying in this, but I don’t get why he stayed in there if he was hurt, given the ending, but whatever. Shawn catapults HHH into the cage to get another break as the fans are in this to an extent but I think they’re just spent at this point as we’re at about thirty seven minutes at this point. For the thousandth time, Shawn has heart. Note to JR: WE GET IT!

In a flat out DUMB looking spot, Shawn goes to the top rope and literally just stands there for a few seconds, not even looking at HHH. HHH clearly gets up, but Shawn goes to the top of the pod behind him and HHH LAYS BACK DOWN to get the elbow. Ok, I get that it’s staged and everything, but give me a break. At least get kicked or something before you go down. That’s just freaking idiotic.

If nothing else it got the fans into it again for a bit, but at this point I think they know what’s coming here. Those brown tights are just moronic looking. Was there some massive joke about wardrobe tonight or something that was preplanned? Between Show and HBK I feel like I’m watching a bad Christmas play put on by an elementary school.

To further stupefy this match, Shawn kicks out of the freaking Pedigree. Ok, that’s it. This is freaking absurd. Ok, I get that Shawn is a big star. I get that Shawn is one of the biggest stars of all time. I get that his comeback here is something that is very impressive.

But to do this now with HHH giving him not one but TWO massive rubs that A, Shawn doesn’t need and B, someone, ANYONE of the other four guys in this match could have made a career out of is without a doubt the most self centered, egotistical thing that I can ever remember seeing. I know he’s a bit better about it now, but this is just more HHH nonsense. If you want to give Shawn the title for the nostalgic run, fine, but blast it give someone else a freaking rub!

Don’t make it look like Shawn, who at this point is a has been off the street (He hadn’t wrestled or trained hardcore in YEARS at this point so he’s starting completely from scratch) is able to not only beat HHH once, but get through Kane, RVD, Booker and Chris freaking Jericho to do it? Are you telling me that you consider them that low on the totem pole Vince?

Yes, Shawn is a bigger star than every single one of them, but to say that he could beat them all in his second match in four and a half years based on sheer will and heart alone is as big of a slap in the face as you can give to those four men that are working so hard and getting FAR bigger pops than Shawn has gotten all night long.

Shawn comes in LAST and lays around getting beaten on for most of the match and really just doing jack in this match other than with HHH, so let’s reward him with the belt and another title reign that means nothing while everyone else that goes out there and works to have a good match and get the audience into the show, a.k.a. CARRYING THE MATCH, is just built up to be eventually fed to, you guessed it, HHH.

Of those four guys, let’s see what they would go on to do after this. Booker: feud with HHH, get massive pops, have the best run of his life, and then job to HHH at Mania in a throwaway match. Kane: fed to Batista, ANOTHER musclehead that couldn’t do a thing back then. Jericho; fed to Shawn in a good feud. RVD: nothing.

With no IC title to hunt for because HHH has to be CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, RVD just kind of floated around for awhile until getting a tag team with Kane that won the pointless tag belts. Shawn and HHH, who were doing WONDERS for the ratings, (as in taking them to levels of low not seen this millennium) would keep feuding over the belt before HHH fought ANOTHER muscle guy in Scott Steiner for two months in what are considered to be two of the worst matches of all time.

All the while, Benoit and Angle and Lesnar would be having some of the best matches in years on Smackdown and getting NO recognition for it, because they weren’t named Shawn and HHH. I can certainly see where the hate for HHH came from back in the day, as this was nothing but an ego play on his and Shawn’s part. They just HAD to be the center of attention again because they think it’s 1997 again, and Shawn still can’t draw.

Instead of letting guys like Van Dam or Booker or Benoit or Angle, the guys that are getting pops and having great matches, carry the company, we get more “nostalgia” moments that no one wants to see because HHH and Shawn want to clutch to their old spots, and even today, eight days before the Hell in a Cell PPV, they’re still doing it. I really hate them both at this moment, but that’ll pass in awhile. As for the match, Shawn gets up and counters another Pedigree for the kick and the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Despite my longest rant ever here, this was a good match. I HATE the way they decided to end it, but the match and the drama were there. The intervals between eliminations were all relatively long with the shortest being like seven minutes or so, which I like.

It makes it seem like these people are hard to eliminate, which is the point of the match. The wrestling is there, but this is a long match. Next year’s would be too short though, so around thirty minutes is where this needs to go. This was good though, despite my own bias about it.

Overall Rating: B-. As I read on another review of this show, the wrestling is good, the booking is bad. I don’t like using the same conclusions I found somewhere else, but that’s exactly right. The wrestling here really is solid, but the Guerreros, Big Show and Shawn winning just don’t work for me, plain and simple. Luckily for the two singles titles, they only lasted for a month as both changed hands again at Armageddon.

This is a different kind of show, similar to maybe the Rumble with everything leading up to one major match, which is ok I guess. I could easily see some people being bored out of their minds here while others love every second of it. Go find a copy of the tag title match but I’d only watch the first fall as it’s some of the most entertaining stuff you’ll ever find. If you’re a fan of HHH and HBK, you’ll love the main event and vice versa. Overall, it’s good but not great, so I’ll recommend it with an asterisk.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT UK
Date: November 7, 2019
Location: Brentwood Centre, Essex, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Nigel McGuinness

I’m not sure what is going on here but things have felt rather flat lately. Maybe it is the lack of Walter and the top title, but they have gone about as far as they can without the champ showing up anytime in recent weeks. The rest of the stuff has been running out of steam for a good while now and they need to come up with something else. Maybe they can do that tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Joe Coffey vs. Tyson T-Bone

Coffey goes right after him and it’s a slugout to start. You don’t try to punch with someone named T-Bone and of course he gets the better of it, only to have Coffey knee him in the ribs. Coffey muscles him up for a backbreaker and a hard clothesline gets two. The armbar goes on for a good while until T-Bone hiptosses his way to freedom. A suplex gets two on Coffey but he’s right back with a spinning middle rope crossbody. All The Best For The Bells finishes T-Bone at 4:52.

Rating: C-. It was a scrappy win but Coffey gets some momentum back after being out of the ring for a long time. That’s a good idea as Gallus seems primed for a big push, perhaps as faces. Coffey won clean here and he still has a heck of a finisher to go with the awesome name. T-Bone is good in rolls like this and the match would have been even better without the long armbar.

Xia Brookside isn’t worried about Kay Lee Ray because she has been training hard.

Ridge Holland, who wears shoes and walks through puddles, is coming. You may remember him as Luke Menzies.

Video on Piper Niven, who started watching during the Attitude Era and then thought she could do that. More on this next week.

Killer Kelly vs. Isla Dawn

This is Kelly’s first match since May due to a knee injury. Dawn takes her down by the arm to start and goes for the knee, sending Kelly straight to the ropes. Kelly slugs away and gets two off a clothesline but Dawn is back with some uppercuts. A Saito suplex is blocked so Dawn gets two off a belly to back instead. Kelly is back up with a running dropkick into the corner and another in the corner for a bonus. Not that it matters as Dawn grabs a bridging half and half suplex for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: C. Kelly has never quite done it for me and Dawn is someone whose gimmick gets my attention but it never quite clicks. The other problem is that there really isn’t any room at the top of the division and I’m not sure where Dawn would fit. We’ve been here before, and I don’t see the result going any differently.

Kassius Ohno doesn’t think much of British Strong Style because they just took an idea from Japan because it sounded cool. Now he’ll have to teach Tyler Bate a lesson at the hands of the wrestling genius.

Next week: Ray vs. Brookside and Banks vs. Ligero II.

Mark Andrews/Flash Morgan Webster vs. Grizzled Young Veterans

Webster and Gibson get things going with Gibson throwing him down to start without much effort. That earns him a headlock takeover as the first gear continues. Drake comes in and gets sunset flipped for two so it’s off to Andrews, which sends Drake bailing to the floor. After a breather, Drake comes back in but can’t backslide Andrews. The opposite can happen for a near fall though and it’s Andrews hitting a basement dropkick for two more.

An armdrag keeps Drake in trouble as Gibson offers some loud advice: “DRAKE! STOP HIM!” Everything breaks down again and stereo dropkicks put the Veterans on the floor. Back in and Webster drops Gibson for two but it’s Drake coming in off a blind tag to kick him in the leg. Another dropkick knocks Andrews off the apron and Nigel is on his feet in love of Gibson.

The kneeling backbreaker/slingshot elbow to the chest crushes Webster on the floor as the momentum has completely changed in a hurry. A hard elbow to the jaw gives Drake two and the chinlock goes on. Gibson comes in for a harder chinlock, followed by Drake’s spinwheel kick to the head. A suplex sets up another chinlock but Webster finally fights up with some forearms. The Blue Boy Block puts Drake down but Gibson is right there to pull Andrews to the floor.

A kick to the chest is enough to get rid of Drake though and Andrews comes in to clean house. Andrews’ tornado DDT and assisted 450 get two on Gibson but Webster gets sent outside. A superkick/neckbreaker combination gets two on Andrews but he’s fine enough to catch Drake in a sitout powerbomb. There’s a slingshot hurricanrana to put Gibson down on the floor so Webster can slingshot onto Drake for two.

Back in and Webster gets out of the Shankley Gates but takes a running dropkick in the corner. Double knees to the chest give Drake two and the fans are rather impressed. A Doomsday Device misses and Webster rolls Gibson up for two and Andrews hits a reverse hurricanrana on Gibson for the four way knockdown. Cue Imperium and Gallus on the stage for a staredown, with Gallus running in to jump the Veterans for the DQ at 19:27.

Rating: B. This took its time but started rocking by the end and I’m glad they went with the ending instead of someone taking a fall. It’s a good match with two talented teams, as Andrews and Webster have done more than I was expecting from them. The action was hot and it didn’t feel as long as it was so well done on all counts.

Post match the double beatdown is on and it’s another Gallus vs. Imperium staredown. Alexander Wolfe and Joe Coffey come out to make it three on three. Cue Walter and Gallus is in trouble….so it’s Ilja Dragunov to even things up again and it’s the big staredown into the big brawl to end the show with the crowd WAY into things.

Overall Rating: B-. The ending segment was quite good and it’s amazing how much better the show feels just because Walter is there. I know it was all of a minute and a half but he gets your attention and you know that something important is happening. The main event and the post match angle carried this after a just ok first half. A revamped (and apparently face) Gallus vs. Imperium works for me, as you can only rely on British Strong Style for so long. Not a great start but a very strong ending and that’s more important.

Results

Joe Coffey b. Tyson T-Bone – All The Best For The Bells

Isla Dawn b. Killer Kelly – Bridging half and half suplex

Flash Morgan Webster/Mark Andrews b. Grizzled Young Veterans via DQ when Gallus interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

While there’s a full card to go with the Survivor Series match, none of it matters compared to the main event. Some of the WCW and WWF Titles will be unified as well, which was a major problem at the time. There were so many belts floating around at the time that it didn’t matter when one would change hands. Thankfully a lot of those problems will be wrapped up tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a cool concept as it shows all of the old logos for the WWF over the years and a bunch of great moments in company history, set to a song called The End Is Here.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance and defending. He greets his fans in South Carolina (that’s what he said) and calls himself awesome. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough (reality competition series where Snow was head trainer) theme which was quite a catchy tune. Snow takes him down to the mat to frustrates the champ. Christian comes back with a foot on Snow’s face in the corner followed by a Russian legsweep for two. We hit the chinlock as the match slows down.

Al fights up and hits his headbutts but Christian hits a tiger driver backbreaker for two. Snow gets rammed into the buckle and things slow down again. The trapping headbutts stop Christian again and Snow escapes the reverse DDT into a neckbreaker for two. Heyman schills for the Alliance guys in an always funny bit.

A sitout powerbomb gets two for Snow and now Christian’s reverse DDT scores for no cover. Instead Christian talks a lot of trash and gets rolled up for two. A top rope cross body is rolled through by Snow and the Snow Plow gets two. There’s the Unprettier out of nowhere to keep the title in the Alliance. That was quick.

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. That’s exactly the case here. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing too shocking.

Austin arrives and yells at the Alliance because he doesn’t like being accused of being a traitor to his team. This would be a lot better if Stephanie had more acting ability than say, a carrot. Austin yells at everyone on the team and says stop being paranoid.

Vince and Linda arrive with Vince brimming with confidence. Cole comes up and says this might be their last night in business but Vince doesn’t want to hear talk like that. Vince talks about taking calculated risks and being confident because someone is jumping to the WWF. Regal comes up and says he doesn’t buy the idea that Austin is jumping back to the WWF.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

These two are former friends. Regal hurt Tajiri’s (Japanese wrestler with a lot of fast kicks) girlfriend Torrie (not the same person with the same name but different spelling from years ago) on Smackdown to set this up. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine.

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is Intercontinental Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Test complains about the makeup lady not rubbing in the oil well enough on him. Stacy (his future girlfriend) comes up and agrees with Test. Test hits on her and she’ll think about it if he wins.

Edge compares himself to Test and says that there are a lot of similarities between them. The difference is that Edge hasn’t been dumped by every chick on the planet. Edge makes fun of Test for sounding wooden and that’s about it.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. They’re quickly back inside and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blond Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

Edge blocks a superplex with some CANADIAN right hands to the ribs but a sunset bomb doesn’t work. Test dives off the top but jumps right into a dropkick to put him down. The problem with this match is neither guy has been able to build up any kind of a run with the title as both have changed hands four times since the Invasion began about four months ago. How can you get behind either guy as a big time champion in that little bit of time? On top of that, Edge has been champion for six days and Test for thirteen. That’s not exactly Honky Tonk Man unifying with Luger in the late 80s.

Both guys are down now but it’s Edge up first with some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Test’s pumphandle slam is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Test spears Edge down for two but the big boot misses. There’s the pumphandle for two but Test’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana. Edge’s spear gets a close two but he can’t hit the Edgecution. Test tries a full nelson slam but Edge rolls through for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C+. This started pretty slow but it got going once Edge was able to start countering Test’s power stuff. In other words, Edge did the work to make Test’s generic big man offense look decent. This was probably the match of the night so far, which isn’t surprising given how hot Edge got in the next year.

Angle comes up to see a stressed out Stephanie. My goodness her acting is bad. I know I say that a lot, but IT’S FREAKING TERRIBLE. She says if the Alliance loses tonight, she’ll have to buy her own groceries and wash her own car. She can’t be a…..a…..a REGULAR PERSON!!! Angle reminds her that she’s special and doesn’t think Austin will jump.

A cage is lowered.

Jeff Hardy and Lita are talking about Matt Hardy being different lately. Matt comes up and yells at them for acting strange and not being focused enough. It turns into a rallying speech and things seem ok. The guys leave and Trish comes out of the same locker room Matt came out of earlier. Keep in mind that Matt is dating Lita at this point.

WCW Tag Team Titles/WWF Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

In a cage. The Dudleys are WCW Tag Team Champions and the Hardys are the WWF Tag Team Champions and Stacy is STUNNING at this point as the Dudleys’ manager. All four belts get laid out between the guys in the ring and it’s time to go. You can win by pin/submission/both members escaping. There are tags required here and it’s Matt vs. Bubba to start. Matt can’t get anywhere so it’s off to Jeff who walks into a Boss Man Slam for two.

D-Von comes in as Heyman talks about Big Daddy Dudley, which JR could not care less about. Back to Matt who rolls D-Von up for two but walks into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Bubba comes in again and drops a bunch of elbows for two. The Dudleys tag in and out a lot and it’s back to Bubba for more punching to Matt’s ribs. Bubba tries to ram Matt into the cage but gets countered into a reverse DDT.

Off to Jeff who cleans house as everything breaks down. Poetry in Motion hits Bubba and Matt climbs but D-Von makes the save. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Jeff which should likely hurt Bubba as well. Bubba goes up again but Matt slams him down for two. Matt gets rammed into the cage but when the Dudleys try to do the same to Jeff, he grabs the cage and tries to climb out, only to get caught in a Doomsday Device (Paul: “WHAT A RUSH!”).

Matt gets crushed against the cage and Bubba whips D-Von into him for good measure. Bubba splashes him as well and the Dudleys are in full control. Jeff gets in a shot and Matt hits a top rope double clothesline to shift the momentum just as fast though. A DDT puts Bubba down for two and Jeff hits the legdrop between D-Von’s legs. A double backdrop takes Ray down again and the Hardys go up.

Matt hits a legdrop and Jeff hits a splash off the top at the same time for two on Bubba. Matt makes a climb but gets pulled down with one leg still stuck in the cage. What’s Up to Jeff and Bubba asks Stacy for a table. Stacy hits on Nick Patrick and picks the key out of his pocket. There’s a table in the ring now but Matt breaks up the 3D by jumping Bubba. Why D-Von didn’t flapjack Jeff through the table is anyone’s guess.

Bubba and Matt go tot he top and pound away at each other until Bubba is knocked down. Matt climbs down to escape but he’s left alone against the Dudleys. D-Von is rammed into the cage a few times and Jeff goes up as D-Von climbs onto the table for no apparent reason. Jeff looks down and sees D-Von there before diving off the top of the cage, but the Swanton misses. Bubba covers the table and therefore Jeff as well for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good brawl between these teams and it furthers the Hardys’ issues, but at the end of the day this feud was played out at this point. There was nothing left for these two teams to do and at this point it was being dragged out way too far. Still though, good match and a good way to I believe finally end this nearly two year long feud.

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Faarooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

I won’t bother explaining who all of these people are as most of them won’t be around again after this show. Some are from the Alliance and some are from the WWF but no matter who wins the main event tonight, the winner of this is guaranteed a job for a year. Stasiak is thrown to the floor before the bell rings and is apparently out. Test drops to the floor to hide as Tazz comes in late. Since it’s a battle royal there’s really not much to talk about here. Everyone punches everyone and no one is put out for awhile. Heyman freaks out about Tazz because Tazz choked him out on Smackdown.

Hurricane dives at Faarooq and is clotheslined out by Bradshaw. Albert throws Saturn out and Test, who is back in now, dumps Faarooq. Page is put out by someone we can’t see and Storm superkicks Palumbo out. Morrus and Chavo run in as wildcards because they tried to jump from the Alliance to the WWF on Raw but got fired as a result. Billy dumps Chavo as Morrus is eliminated as well. Tazz dumps Dreamer and Crash as Storm low bridges Spike out. Bradshaw’s clothesline kills Richards and he’s gone.

Tazz stops to run his mouth to Heyman and gets dumped by Billy. Test and Kidman put Albert out. We’re down to Bradshaw, Kidman, Gunn, Test and Storm. I’ve missed a bunch of eliminations but most of them weren’t shown. The fall away slam puts Kidman out and we’re down to four. Bradshaw kicks Storm down and might have hurt his ankle. Things slow way down as Billy and Bradshaw hang on for dear life. Storm and Test team up to put Bradshaw out but Test dumps Storm as well. A big boot eliminates Gunn and Test wins immunity.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, it’s a battle royal so what are you expecting to get? Test would fall through the floor in the next year with no one caring about him at all. This was a pretty big batch of jobbers in there though and that doesn’t really make for an interesting match. Then again, neither do most battle royals.

Sacrifice video by Creed. This was a promotional campaign at the time, with highlight videos set to My Sacrifice by Creed.

Booker is worried about Austin jumping. Shane says it’s ok and stick with it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ivory vs. Lita vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jacqueline vs. Jazz

Chyna relinquished the title earlier in the year without being pinned and then disappeared so this is the best we’ve got to pick from for the new champion. This is Jazz’s debut and the fans don’t seem to care. Why does no one care? Because Jazz meant nothing in ECW and was a face there but is a heel here. Mighty Molly is Molly Holly as a superhero. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz pounding away. Off to Jackie vs. Molly off some blind tags and somehow even fewer people care about Jackie.

Jackie dropkicks Molly down and it’s off to Ivory who gets caught in a sunset flip for two. This is one fall to a finish. Ivory slingshots Jackie into the ropes and it’s off to Trish for some forearms. Lita gets knocked to the floor and the three Alliance chicks (Ivory, Jazz, Molly) triple team Trish for a bit. Jackie double crosses Lita on Poetry in Motion and everyone hits their finishers on everyone else. The Litasault gets two on Ivory as Jazz saves. Lita gets backdropped to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish left. Stratusfaction gives Trish her first title.

Rating: D. It was short, the match wasn’t any good, Trish looked great in the skin tight barely there pink shorts, Lita looked good as usual, and that’s all I’ve got here. As usual with situations like this, when the previous champion doesn’t lose the title, the new champion comes in at a big disadvantage.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was originally on the team but replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which fits really well.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the Invasion (as were a lot of fans at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

WWF: The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Alliance: Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Also, as goes the stereotype for the WWF, most of their guys are big and strong instead of the more athletic styles of the Alliance team. One other thing: JR keeps up one of the annoying inaccuracies in wrestling by saying that Undertaker won the World Title in his WWF debut. It was a year later, which you should know if you’ve read this far.

Rock and Austin start fighting before the bell and you know the early advantage doesn’t mean a thing in this one. Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle rope elbow for a very early two. Rock comes back with a middle finger elbow of his own and dares Shane to get in. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down for two as Shane makes the save. Expect to hear that line quite a bit. Off to Jericho as Heyman blames Vince for the end of ECW.

Van Dam and Jericho have a nice fast paced sequence with Jericho hitting a spinwheel kick for no cover. Jericho chops away but misses a dropkick, allowing Rob to hit the cartwheel into a moonsault for two. For reasons likely related to high levels of drug use, Van Dam tries a standing hurricanrana on Jericho, only to be countered into the Walls. Shane makes the third save of the match already and it’s off to Angle vs. Kane.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Undertaker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

There’s Old School to Booker followed by that lifting wristlock which always looks painful. Off to a short armed scissors followed by a clothesline for two, resulting in ANOTHER save from Shane. Austin comes in to pound on Undertaker (and causing Heyman to say WHAT after everything JR says) but he gets caught in Old School. Say it with me: Shane makes the save. Undertaker gets caught in the wrong corner and quintuple teamed.

Angle is in next and tries to slug it out with the Dead Man for some reason. Undertaker escapes a German and DDTs Angle down. There’s the tag to Big Show and JR almost immediately bashes him, saying Show can make a huge difference, or he can make some huge mistakes. Show throws around RVD and Angle before clearing off the entire Alliance corner. Angle gets underneath Show and there’s the Slam followed by an Ax kick from Booker (and a Spinarooni) and a Five Star and a top rope elbow from Shane for the first elimination.

Shane dances around in celebration before turning around to meet The Rock who beats the living tar out of Shane with right hands in the corner. Off to Kane for a chokeslam, then a tombstone from Undertaker and a Lionsault from Jericho to tie it up. That’s the best way to go as Show and Shane were the weak links on both teams. Angle vs. Jericho now with Jericho hitting the forearm to start. A double underhook backbreaker puts Angle down but Austin saves.

Angle uses an amateur takedown and brings in Booker to slam Chris a few times. RVD gets a tag but one of his shoulders in the corner is countered into a sunset flip for two. Off to Kane who catches a punch from RVD. Van Dam’s comeback? Kick the guy in the head. Kane pulls Booker in and kicks him in the face too but the numbers game allows Van Dam to take Kane down and hit the Five Star. Rob takes too long to cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam, but Booker kicks Kane. Everything breaks down and Rob kicks Kane from the top for the pin to make it 4-3.

Undertaer pounds on Van Dam in the corner while everyone else is fighting on the floor. Austin and Angle get in as well and Undertaker has to fight all four guys at once. He gets them all in a corner and keeps charging at all of them with clotheslines in a cool sequence. Snake Eyes and a big boot take Angle down and there’s a Last Ride for him as well. Booker comes in with a chair but Undertaker boots him down, leaving himself open to a Stunner from Austin and the pin by Angle. That leaves us with Austin/Angle/Booker/RVD vs. Rock/Jericho.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Rob is in next but as he goes up, Rock kind of powerbombs him off the top for two. Jericho gets the tag and hits a running neckbreaker for two before chopping away in the corner. Van Dam avoids the Lionsault and kicks Chris’ head off, followed by the split legged moonsault for no cover. Jericho pops up and hits a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to tie it up at two each.

Austin slingshots Rock into the post on the floor while Angle and Jericho fight in the ring. Angle picks Jericho’s ankle and stomps away on him as Heyman thinks the Alliance can find a place for the Rock. Back to Austin to pound away on Chris and hit a superplex for two. Austin hits a kind of northern lights/belly to belly suplex for two and here’s Angle again. Jericho puts Kurt in the ankle lock but Kurt quickly escapes and hits a clothesline to take over.

It’s back to Austin for a suplex and an elbow to the face. Angle comes in and stomps away before it’s back to Austin who stomps away as well. We hit one of the few chinlocks in this match as Jericho is in trouble. Jericho fights up and it’s a double tag to bring in Rock vs. Angle with the Great One quickly hooking a Sharpshooter on Kurt for an even faster tap. Heyman LOSES IT in a great moment.

Off to Austin vs. Jericho with Chris trying the Walls but Austin rakes the eyes to escape. Austin can’t put Jericho in the Boston crab either but he gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Steve loads up a superplex but gets shoved down, followed by a missile dropkick for Jericho for two. Austin counters a rollup out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to get us down to Rock vs. Austin.

Rock hits a bad spinebuster but Jericho hits a Breakdown on Rock to take him down in a double cross. It’s not joining the Alliance, but rather just personal hatred. That gets two for Austin andUndertaker comes out to stalk Jericho to the back. Austin pounds away before launching Rock over the top and out to the floor. They fight on the floor with Austin being laid on the table and slapped in the chest over and over.

Austin comes back but gets sent over the announce table and punched in the face by Rock. Back in Rock chops away but gets caught in the whip spinebuster from Austin. Austin puts on a bad Sharpshooter and there’s your Montreal reference. Rock finally makes the rope so Austin grabs the WWF Title. Rock ducks the swing and puts Austin the Sharpshooter but he’s afraid to let go of the belt for some reason. I guess realizing he has a job no matter what, he grabs the rope instead.

Back up and Austin’s Stunner is countered into a Stunner from Rock. Why that puts Rock down after Rock had been in control for awhile is beyond me but whatever. Rock covers but here’s Nick Patrick to pull Hebner out. A Rock Bottom to Patrick is broken up and Austin Rock Bottoms Rock for two. Austin drills Patrick and pulls Hebner back in, only to be sent into him again as Rock counters the Stunner. There’s the Stunner to Rock but there’s no referee. Angle runs in and nails Austin with the title, letting Rock hit the Rock Bottom for the pin and the death of the Alliance. JR to Heyman: “You’re out of work! AGAIN!”

Rating: A. This felt like a main event and was very entertaining too. It runs forty five minutes bell to bell and feels like about half of that. At the end of the day, it was pretty clear what was going to happen but that doesn’t make it a bad match. Rock vs. Austin was pretty much done for a long time after this match, which is the right call as they had run it a lot this year. Great stuff here though.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids.

Overall Rating: B+. Like I said, as goes the main event, so goes the show. The rest of the show isn’t bad but the main event is over an hour counting buildup video and entrances and all that jazz. The rest of the show isn’t bad at all with a good cage match and nothing truly bad that didn’t involve Trish looking great, so I can’t complain much here. Also, it gets rid of the Alliance which makes things better already.

As for the Invasion, I could go on at great length, but in short form: it was the biggest waste of time, money, and potential that there ever could be in wrestling. This was the biggest storyline you could possibly ask for and they BLEW IT. There are multiple options you could go with here. One idea is have no mention on TV of the WWF buying WCW and just keep it going with WWF guys in charge behind the scenes. Think a network might have been interested with it being under the direction of the biggest wrestling company ever?

Another option: have the Alliance win. At the end of the day any money they’ve got goes into the WWF’s pocket as they own EVERYTHING, so what difference does it make? Granted that was never going to happen with Vince’s ego, but why let money get in the way of Vince feeling good about himself? The Invasion could have been so much more but it wound up running about five months with the WWF dominating the whole way through. Such a shame and a loss for wrestling fans who had waited for so many years for a chance to have this happen.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

Like I said, as the main event goes, so goes the show. That’s apparently the case here as I liked both better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location; Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

And we have arrived. It’s the end of the Invasion tonight as the main event is Alliance vs. WWF, winner takes all. Naturally the WWF is going to win, but the point was how do we get to that point? It’s a Survivor Series match which at least fits the name of the show and the theme of it. I’ll save my thoughts on the angle as a whole for the end of the review because it’s certainly something that’s historic enough for it’s own thoughts.

Also on the card we have a series of unification matches between the WCW titles and the WWF Titles, but there’s no world title unification match as that would come at Vengeance, in the famous night where Jericho beat Austin and Rock. Oh I almost forgot. HHH is out with injury at this point so he’s not here.

He’ll be back in about two months though to the absolute loudest pop I’ve ever heard. This certainly has the chance to be a good show, but there are several flaws in it that just on paper I can see holding it back from doing so, but maybe I’m wrong. Let’s find out.

For some reason that I don’t get, the poster is Torrie and Lita standing back to back. They look sexy, but what’s the point here?

We open with a very nicely done video package talking about the greatest moments in company history. This does a very good job of showing some of the highlights of the company and tying it in to the current storyline. This was well done.

The theme song for this show is Control by Puddle of Mudd, so that’s all we’ll be hearing all night. That’s a good thing though because it’s a good song. JR and Heyman (Lawler had left the company in February because his wife had been released and he left in protest. The witch left him and he was rehired and would be back next to JR the following night) talk about how this is the biggest PPV of all time. I thought this was 2001, not 1987.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance at this point, but due to this song and video, he is AWESOME.

Dang that’s awesome. He’s still more or less a comedic guy here, but he’s coming around. I have no idea why he’s with WCW and ECW here, but whatever. Apparently this match was made on Heat, so take that for what it’s worth. Christian cuts a promo before the match, being a basic heel. He says he’s in South Carolina and various things like that. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough music which I always thought was a great song.

Ross gets a great line in about Christian: I’d like to buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth. That’s not bad at all. More or less this is designed to just give us a good opener as Snow is certainly solid enough to put on a good match. Christian is just ok, so Snow is one of the best choices there was to put in there with him. Naturally all the commentators can talk about is the main event.

For once, I’m ok with that as it really was a big match from a storyline perspective. Snow throws some of the weakest looking punches I’ve ever seen. It’s the most basic move there is and Snow’s are horrible. I’ve never liked that headbutt move that Snow does. I mean the one where he grabs the other guy’s arms and does a series of headbutts. It just looks odd indeed. Ross apparently thinks the back of the head is pretty, as he calls a reverse DDT the Unprettier.

It doesn’t really matter because it didn’t hit but whatever. Actually it does matter because he messes it up again when it hits. Snow hits a quick rollup for two so at least he’s awake. Snow hits the Snow Plow but Christian gets his foot on the rope. Snow looks at the foot but celebrates anyway, setting a fine example for his young wrestlers. The Unprettier ends this a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Eh, it was there and it didn’t suck. Since it was made an hour ago, how much can they really put together out there? I’m fine with this though as it’s certainly not bad. It’s kind of a weird choice for an opener, but I can see what the point of having it on the show was. Not bad, but certainly nothing great at all here.

Austin is here and the rest of his team is thinking he’ll turn back to the WWF tonight. Vince said that was going to happen tonight, which has everyone in the Alliance panicking. I really hate that name. It doesn’t roll off the tongue at all. Angle and Austin nearly get into it again.

Vince and Linda debate about whether or not they should be worried about tonight. Cole interrupts them in a short sleeved shirt that is just odd looking on him. Speaking of odd, seeing Vince and Linda as a married couple and talking is something I can never remember seeing other than this. It kind of works. Vince more or less says that tonight it’s not a gamble because he has a 6th team member, implying Austin. Regal pops up and says nothing of importance.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

They used to be friends (a long time ago) and then Regal turned heel and beat up Torrie, who was Tajiri’s girlfriend at the time, leading to this. I absolutely love Tajiri’s music. This was supposed to be him vs. X-Pac in a unification match as they were Cruiserweight and Light Heavyweight champions respectively, but Pac was injured. Yeah I was stunned to hear that too.

Regal is freshly heel here, having screwed Angle out of the WWF Title against Austin and becoming Alliance commissioner. There’s just not a lot to talk about in this match as it’s just an intense fight. These guys are hammering the heck out of each other which is nice to see for a change. We get the always cool looking spot of Tajiri (or anyone) getting their head caught between the top and middle ropes.

That’s just sweet every time you see it for some reason. After getting out, Tajiri hits a heck of a kick on the head of Regal. This is a brawl to say the least. And Regal hits a butterfly powerbomb out of nowhere for the pin. Well that was abrupt. Post match Regal beats on him some more and Torrie, rocking some skin tight leather pants, runs out to check on him. Regal beats her up too.

Rating: C. It’s about three minutes long and the finish came out of left field. This should likely be N/A, but the three minutes were rather good with some very hard shots in there. It was good, but that ending was just out of nowhere. Not bad for what they had to work with though so I’ll say it’s ok.

We get a recap of Test vs. Edge, which more or less consists of Test stealing the IC Title from Edge and the Edge winning the US Title. Foley then made a unification match for tonight. It’s very simple, but at least with Test stealing it there’s some history here which is more than you’ll get for most matches in today’s product.

Test is in front of a mirror when Stacy comes up. She implies she’ll sleep with him if he wins after he hits on her. She is so ridiculously hot here it’s not fair.

Edge says that Test is going to lose. He’s ridiculously over at this point as he was on the brink of cracking into the main event and was having the best matches of his career. Unfortunately an injury would put him out for a year in February.

Unification Match: Edge vs. Test

Edge is rocking the Rob Zombie music here, so it’s completely awesome. Edge is over here, but not to the level he would reach once he went to Smackdown exclusively. Hey, did you know that Pat Patterson won the IC Belt in a tournament. Ross advises Edge to use his heart. We’ll ignore the fact that it’s an involuntary muscle and if Edge didn’t use it he would be dead and say that’s good advice as Test really was freakishly strong.

They’re doing that ignore thing, yet Heyman of all people brings the focus back to the title match at hand. Or is it titles match? I’m not sure. Edge really needs to go back to face. It just works better for him. As great as he is as a heel, him as a face is just awesome. This is somewhat back and forth but Test is mainly in control. Ross is once again ticking me off as he’s just running down Heyman while Paul is trying to talk about the match.

Ross actually takes the hint from Paul and talks about Test for a bit. That’s something you don’t see every day. There’s just no drama here at all for some reason. The main reason for that is the match is a lot of punching and kicking so it’s only so interesting. Now we’re getting better here with some nice fast paced kickouts. Test even hits a spear and not a bad one at all. Man he can do more than four moves. Test over Cena apparently.

Anyway, Edge of course kicks out as Heyman talks over and over again about how that’s Edge’s move and Test stole it. The pace speeds up pretty well which gets the crowd into it a lot more. See what happens when you stop just laying around and doing nothing at all? You get a crowd reaction, which is a good thing. Do it more often and you get bigger reactions. That’s basic wrestling psychology, yet sadly enough so many wrestlers don’t get it.

Edge hits the spear and Test kicks out of it as well, and it gets the crowd up and moving even more. I can’t believe it. They’re having more action and it’s getting a better reaction. I’m blown away. Anyway, enough of this sarcastic nonsense, as Test goes for a pumphandle slam and gets rolled up to unify Edge.

Rating: B-. This is a tale of two matches for sure as the beginning was putting me to sleep but it had a strong finish, which is good as it’s the most stuck in the minds of the fans. This was ok, but not much beyond it. I liked it, but I’m a mark for both guys, so therefore it’s unlikely a lot of people would like it. It wasn’t bad, but not great.

Stephanie is worried as Kurt tries to calm her. Stephanie is a bad actress. Like, really bad.

Lita and the Hardys are worried about their match and apparently something is wrong with Matt. This led to a long heel turn for Matt which took nearly a year to pull off. It led to Mattitude though, so it was completely worth it. Lita…yes, in all senses of the word. She runs into Trish coming out of Matt’s locker room. This is before their epic rivalry had really kicked into high gear. Trish in a tight white t-shirt and leather pants is an even bigger yes, if that’s possible. My goodness those are some hot women.

Unification Tag Titles: Hardys vs. Dudleys

This is in a cage by the way. Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and is perhaps the second sexiest she’s ever looked after this same look with glasses. There’s obviously history here but the latest one is from Smackdown where Lita knocked Stacy off the apron and Matt caught her, upsetting Lita. What in the world? What sense does that make? Lita knocks the other chick off and sees Matt beneath her which ticks her off? That is just freaking stupid.

There’s no Lita with the Hardys for no apparent reason, and apparently Matt and Jeff’s dad is a postman. That’s the kind of little trivia we should hear more of. Because this match and era is stupid, you have to tag in and out. Yep, that makes GREAT sense. Jeff is wrestling in a hat because he lives in the moment, whatever that means. Hearing Heyman talk about characters he created is very fun as you can just tell how much he loved ECW. That never gets old.

Excellent shot of Stacy’s camouflaged shorts. In another thing that the announcers (read as Heyman) does well here is point out that Matt and Jeff are the hometown boys. I didn’t catch that and that’s the commentator’s job: point out the little things like that which we might forget. Anyone that ever says that the Divas aren’t beautiful is a freaking idiot. Sorry they just keep showing Stacy and this tagging in and out thing is freaking stupid.

After five or six minutes we FINALLY do something with the cage. To be fair the wrestling is pretty good, but it just makes me wonder what the point of the cage is. Heyman saying WHAT A RUSH makes me chuckle. Jeff tries to escape but it fails as the heels are completely dominating. This is a rather long stretch of the heels dominating which is common in tag team cage matches.

I’m just waiting on the slam of one of those Dudleys into the cage to swing the momentum into the home town boys’ favor. For some reason I think of the Dukes of Hazard when I think of the Hardys. That just popped into my head and I have no idea why. And there’s our stupid heel moment to change the match. Jeff is down in the middle of the ring and both Dudleys go to a top rope. The tagging aspect has been forgotten at this point as it should be.

D-Von misses the headbutt because Jeff rolls out of the way. That’s fine as it’s pretty much the only counter there is to that move. Bubba, ever the genius though, jumps anyway because he’s so much faster than D-Von and he crashes too. Matt takes them both down with a double clothesline and we’re reversed with the faces now in control. Eventually Bubba calls out for a table, which Stacy pulls out.

She shows part of her shapely figure to the referee and picks his pocket to get the table in. That was at least simplistic. Matt gets out and it’s 2-1. D-Von gets thrown into the cage, and Ross says it doesn’t taste like chocolate. Allow me to ask again; WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? And I don’t ask that because it’s funny or witty. I ask that because it MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE! Anyway, Matt is out and D-Von is on the table while Jeff is alone on the top of the cage.

You know what’s coming next. Instead of climbing down, the future 3 time world champion misses the Swanton off the cage and crashes to allow the Dudleys to get the easy pin. Matt isn’t happy, and he’s right. That was SO STUPID. Ross saying Jeff couldn’t resist the temptation is much more ironic than it should be.

Rating: B+. This would be an A if they hadn’t had the tagging thing, but I think it’s getting upgraded because of it. I had this as a B but the more I think about it the more I think that the tagging part at the beginning helped it a lot.

It made me think that in the middle where they just stopped doing it that the thought process was this is too important so screw tagging, let’s just get it all out there. That’s the beauty of a slow build: it makes the payoff much sweeter. Considering how many times these teams have fought, to still be able to have a good match is impressive.

Foley is at WWF New York where he isn’t happy about not being at the show. He points out that as Commissioner he should be there but Vince told him not to, so the Commissionership is a joke. This was part of an angle where Foley pretty much hated his job which he got back after Vince fired him.

He would be gone very soon, with this possibly being his last night in the role. After a little research, I’m right, as other than I think being on Raw the next night in a pretaped segment, he wouldn’t be back until June of 2003 as a guest referee.

Scotty is heading to the ring when he runs into Test. Scotty is actually a freaking jerk to him and gets the beating he deserves. Not because of being a jerk, but because Test wants his spot in the battle royal. My goodness Test and Stephanie need some acting lessons.

Immunity Battle Royal

Simple concept here: since the losing company goes out of business, the winner of this match can’t be fired for a year. First of all, how sweet of a rule would that be? You have a year where you can do whatever the heck you want and no one can say a word about it. The winner of this tries to do that, but it didn’t work out that well. I’ll do what I can to list the participants as they all come out in clusters according to their company affiliation.

Note: the Alliance comes out to Bodies by Drowning Pool. If you’re a fan of that kind of music and have a chance to go see them, go out of your way to do so. The live performance I saw of that song is without a doubt the greatest live song I have ever heard. The girl I was with at the show looked at each other and said in unison: that freaking rocked. They were just an awesome live band and second to only 3 Doors Down (who had light years better production values to be fair) as best I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, while this awesome song plays, we have Justin Credible, Lance Storm (who come out next to each other which is awesome looking for any true ECW fans), Shawn Stasiak, DDP, Raven, Dreamer, some guy I don’t recognize that might be Stevie Richards, Billy Kidman, Hurricane and Test for the Alliance. For the WWF, APA, Crash, Funaki, Saturn, Chuck Palumbo, Hardcore Holly, Albert, Billy Gunn and Spike. My eyesight isn’t that good.

I found a list online about halfway through. For some reason in case you’re wondering, the WWF comes out to Control, the show’s theme song. Stasiak is gone in about two seconds after charging at Bradshaw and being thrown out. Test drops to the floor and fights Albert who never got in for some reason. Something tells me this is going to be hard to call, which is partially why I’m terrified of the Rumbles.

Tazz comes out, ticking off Heyman. Tazz had left the Alliance because he hated Austin and his leadership. So far it’s your standard battle royal formula of people throwing punches, kicks and knees while trying to throw a single person over for about five minutes to look like they’re really doing something while not doing anything at all.

Grego….Hurricane I mean, gets knocked the heck out by Bradshaw and the clothesline. Albert launches Saturn out. For the life of me I’ll never understand why in such a civilized country as ours there’s still so much bald on bald violence. And they’re both from Boston. What are the odds? I’ll also never get why Albert never got a harder push. The guy had all the tools to be a solid heel, so why didn’t it work? Give him a manager and it would have gone fine.

He’s not someone that needs a lot of story behind him. He’s just a big scary looking dude. What more could you ask for? People are going out rather fast now as it’s mainly just dead weight in there that no one cares about. For the life of me I will never get why Billy Gunn got so many freaking pushes. They never ended and they never worked. The Outlaws got over, but Road Dogg was the more important part.

When you think of that team, what’s the first thing in your head? Road Dogg and the catchphrase. Billy’s line was made popular by DX, not him. I think there’s seven left at this point. As best I can tell it’s Richards, Kidman, Billy, Tazz, Bradshaw,, Test and Albert. There goes Richards so we’re down to six. Lance Storm is in there as well. Tazz yells at Heyman and he’s thrown out. In a cool spot, Bradshaw gets rid of Kidman with a fallaway slam over the top rope. That was sweet looking.

The final four are Test, Gunn, Storm and Bradshaw. Bradshaw misses a boot to Storm’s head by about six inches and hurts his leg which I think is legit. He actually hits a neckbreaker that was good though. For some reason the announcers are arguing about Stephanie. The final two are Test and Billy, with Test kicking the tar out of him to win it.

The only problem was that it was obvious given the Scotty segment earlier, but that’s what was expected. Heyman does a very funny bit where he explains what the repercussions of the match are like this: “So no matter what happens, *whispers* the Alliance will win, Test will not be fired no matter what (the Alliance will win!). It’s much funnier than it sounds.

Rating: N/A. I’m going with no rating because it’s a battle royal. How do you grade that? The ending was obvious, but it’s a battle royal. Other than the Rumble, they’re more or less the same, so what do you want me to say?

Now we have a completely random video package of clips of mainly the ten guys in the main event. This is totally out of context and the song has no words or build up to it. It’s just a three minute video of the feud with no words or anything. It’s also the video….OH! This is the WWF Desire videos that they used to run. The original song was My Sacrifice by Creed, but I’m guessing they were way too expensive.

At the time Creed was the hottest thing in the world so that makes sense. The Desire videos were a series of videos that they made attempting to show how important wrestling was. They sound clichéd but they really were freaking sweet at the time and still are. Check them out as they’re worth it. The song fits really well too.

Shane and Booker speculate about whether they can trust Austin or not as we have another few minutes to fill. My only guess is that this is an intermission or something. It’s been about 6-7 minutes since the last match ended. Is there a point to this?

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Jackie vs. Lita vs. Ivory vs. Molly vs. Jazz

Trish’s legs are possibly better than Stacy’s. That’s saying a freaking ton. And now we get to look at Jackie. I can’t stand her. Lita gets a HUGE pop. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here now: Trish vs. Lita is one of the best feuds I’ve ever seen regardless of gender. It’s the best natural rivalry I’ve seen other than Bret vs. Shawn, which is saying a lot. Molly’s theme music can introduce herself as the song says “Holy sidekicks Hurricane! It’s Mighty Molly”, just as she’s being introduced.

Jazz is debuting here and might as well be the black Chyna. The problem: no one had a clue who she was and she got zero reaction. The rules here are that there are four on the apron and two in the ring so there you go. Ivory and Jackie try to do a nice technical sequence and it just fails in every sense of the word. Trish’s shorts…my goodness that’s not right. More or less it’s a bikini bottom but skin tight.

Other than Lita these women pretty much sucked in the ring. They’re the stereotypical “good” divas that can’t do jack in the ring but we’re told they can and somehow they’re considered good which shows just how weak the division is. We get a Lita chant as naturally everything falls apart and it’s just a wild finisher fest. Trish and the heavenly form send Jazz to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish, who hits the bulldog for the title.

This was her first reign and the first champion after Ivory. She was a complete underdog at this point so this was shocking. Obviously she would improve massively, but this was a big shock. As we transition to the main event, Ross gets a gay joke in about Heyman that surprises me. He says he wouldn’t mind Trish coming into him from behind. I listened to it twice to make sure I didn’t understand it and that’s what he actually said.

Rating: D+. This was a mess, but the looks of Trish and Lita make it pass. It was there for the T & A anyway so who cares. The ending was about as low a level of being historic as you can get while still being historic, so this is technically important, but yeah, it’s about the looks, plain and simple.

After Ross and Heyman bicker like two year olds, Vince addresses his team. We have Big Show, Kane, Taker, Jericho and Rock, with Taker getting a good pop and Rock getting a bit one as he jumps around looking like an idiot. He talks about how if they lose tonight, they will be an embarrassment to everyone and no one will forgive them.

He goes on to list off some names in company history that they would be letting down, including Buddy Rogers (no reaction), Gorilla Monsoon (BIG pop), Andre the Giant (Big pop as he’s looking straight at Taker, bringing about more symbolism than should be allowed), and High Chief Peter Maivia to no reaction at all as I don’t think most people knew who he was. He says forget about Austin tonight.

Jericho just looks out of place there next to Rock and the big three. Also, how appropriate it is to have three super heavyweights given Vince’s affinity for big power guys. Vince was supposed to be on this team but he gave his spot to Big Show, which I like. Vince isn’t a wrestler and for once he makes it about the wrestlers and not him. That’s a good thing. This was a really good speech actually.

Team Alliance (Austin, Booker, RVD, Angle, Shane) come down the hall. Austin is WWF champion and Rock is WCW champion at this point. Let’s hit the recap button for this as the teams might need some explaining, but not a ton. Vince said he had enough of the Invasion and threw out the challenge for this match, which Stephanie and Shane (the owners of ECW and WCW respectively) agreed to.

There’s three main points to this match. First, Angle turned on Vince and the WWF to join the Alliance. Second, Rock and Jericho hate each other, which is a nice touch. Finally, the Alliance doesn’t trust Austin. As for Austin joining the team, it made little sense when he jumped because he said the Alliance guaranteed him the best matches that he could get. By joining them, wouldn’t he be fighting the same guys he had been fighting for years?

Isn’t that saying that the WWF guys are better than the Alliance guys? Or am I reading too much into this? We get a very good video package showing all of the ten people fighting each other, which sounds simple but it’s better than it sounds. It ends with a shot of Austin and Rock, which is the feud in a nutshell.

Team Alliance vs. Team WWF

After literally ten minutes of introductions, we’re ready to go. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music was either funny, hot, or just plain sad. I can’t decide. Immediately it’s Rock vs. Austin, which makes sense I suppose as they’re the real core of this feud. Before you get any other ideas, this isn’t WWF vs. Alliance. It’s a WWF angle, plain and simple. Both guys hit the Thesz Press and the F you elbow with Shane saving Austin despite him not particularly needing it.

Booker vs. Rock follows as we redo Summerslam from this year. Booker was the WCW Rock, complete with the catchphrase to open his song, the People’s Champion mantra, and the finishing move. And that is reason 384 why WCW failed. I need to make a list of that someday. Shane saves Booker this time, so at least that makes sense. WCW violence erupts as Jericho beats up Booker for a bit.

Ross and Heyman argue over who put ECW out of business which is amusing, mainly because according to storyline purposes it’s still in business but whatever. RVD gets a pop and a half. Jericho and Van Dam have a good little match here, as Jericho is wrestling his light weight style which is where I always thought he was best. Today he tends to use the heavyweight style which just doesn’t work that well for me. Jericho hooks the Walls on a counter and Heyman is PANICKING.

Shane of course makes the save though. After a double tag it’s Kane vs. Angle which is an interesting match to say the least. Angle was in between stages in his career here as he’s somewhere between All American good boy and rampaging psycho that knows more ways to hurt people that should be legal. He had recently made Kane tap and Angle Slammed Big Show, so obviously he was on a role at the moment.

Also, this was just after he and Austin had finished an awesome feud with Angle hitting levels of intensity in promo cutting that I didn’t know existed. Those two beat the living tar out of each other, throwing each other all over the place with suplex after suplex in something that was just plain awesome. And because this is pro wrestling they’re friends a month later. Just as I say this, Angle gets a sweet German on Kane. Shane saves Angle as that’s number four.

Now we’re up to Taker and Angle, which is nothing short of a classic most of the time except for when it’s not. Taker hits a sweet kick to Booker’s head to take him down, and of course Shane makes the save again. It makes sense if nothing else though, as he’s the guy with everything to lose. Taker goes for Old School as evidenced by shouting OLD SCHOOL! I really don’t get the point of him doing that. It’s not like he used a wristlock that often.

After Shane makes another save to save us from Booker and Taker’s slow period, Austin comes in. The fans are still way into him, which goes to show how popular he was. Austin vs. Taker really was an epic rivalry. It’s kind of reminiscent of Hogan and Andre when you think about it. You have the big vocal face of the company vs. the guy that’s great but stays in the background most of the time. It’s a simple story but it goes in depth once you look into it a bit.

After the second Old School in about three minutes, Shane…oh screw it you know what he does by now. Taker just starts punching the tar out of Angle which never gets old. Heyman finally does what everyone has wanted to do for years and asks JR what the deal is with his obsession with taking men to the woodshed. Ross has nothing to say as Big Show comes in for the first time, rocking that one piece swimsuit he used to wear.

Naturally he lasts about a minute as an Angle Slam, axe kick, 5 Star and a Shane elbow drop end him to make it 5-4. Can the forces of evil really overcome the forces of good? Heck if I know as there’s at least half an hour left in this match. In a funny moment after the pin, Shane is dancing around celebrating as Rock is waiting on him. The Alliance guys point it out to him and he slowly stops dancing before turning around and looking scared. That was great.

Rock’s punches seem to miss by about a mile to me, but maybe I’m missing something. After a Kane chokeslem, a Taker tombstone and a Lionsault, we’re tied up. Heyman as usual is priceless during this. Angle comes in now as we need a spatula for Shane. I love how Heyman is freaking despite the fact that Shane got the same treatment that Show got earlier. Also I love how he complains about how stupid Show is, despite him taking Show in as the ECW Champion in about five years.

It’s Angle vs. Jericho now in another match that has a natural rivalry that I’ll never get tired of watching. I’ve come to the conclusion that Booker is just flat out boring. He’s been in there about three times now and he’s just killed the momentum every single time. He’s slow and boring, which is a bad combination to consist of.

Ross points out the same thing I noticed earlier about how the WWF is mainly power, which makes sense as most of the Alliance guys are finesse or technical guys, which is either a very subtle and nice touch, or a complete coincidence. The WWF team beats up RVD, prompting Heyman to say he believes they’re trying to isolate him. Well thank you very much for that. I never would have noticed.

Booker and RVD are in at the same time with Kane, who naturally gets no help from his partners because, you know, that would be helpful. Van Dam had pinned Kane and Taker this past week, so he’s hot right now which is kind of a joke considering Kane is in there, but it wasn’t that funny. I need to work on my comedy more I think.

The Five Star (which is still the most amazing live move I’ve ever seen) hits but Kane grabs Van Dam by the throat, leading to Booker running in, which leads to the massive brawl that you knew was coming. During the fracas, Van Dam hits a kick from the top to eliminate Kane. In a cool moment, Taker has one member of the Alliance in each of the corners and keeps them there by running back and forth, clotheslining them all in order.

He does about eight clotheslines in a row before knocking Booker to the floor. Angle takes a Last Ride but Booker comes in with a chair. Taker knocks him down but walks into the Stunner. Angle is dragged over and despite not being legal, gets the pin. That takes us down to Rock and Jericho vs. Austin, Booker, RVD and Angle. Dang that’s a lot of gold between six guys. Booker kicks/knees the tar out of Rock.

Rock hits a DDT and covers Booker but it doesn’t work, which it shouldn’t have any way as Booker’s shoulder was about right inches off the mat. Booker is thrown into Angle, allowing him to be rolled up to make it 3-2. I like that actually, as it’s not something stupid and it actually makes sense for Booker to go out that way.

Rock hooks a cool move on Van Dam as RVD’s back was to the Great One and Rock more or less powerbombs him down, but does it with one arm so it’s like a roll up from the top which gets two. Jericho is finally back in and they nearly botch a spot, but Jericho makes a last second save to turn it into a swinging neckbreaker. That was nice. In a sequence that’s just flat out awesome due to what it means now.

Jericho avoids a split legged moonsault and hits the Breakdown for the pin on Van Dam, which looked awful because Van Dam dropped to a knee so the move got ZERO reaction. The reason it’s cool is Van Dam missed what is now Morrison’s finisher to get caught in Miz’s finisher. That’s awesome and one of the biggest reasons I love watching old wrestling. You get to see stuff like that which wouldn’t have meant a thing eight years ago but now is kind of cool, or at least it is to me.

Who would have guessed it would come down to the four guys that have been fighting on both sides? We have two fights going on at once, with Austin hitting a slingshot on Rock, who of course oversells by more or less throwing a flying headbutt into the post. Heyman says they can find a spot for Rock if nothing else for his t-shirt sales.

We move to Austin vs. Jericho which is a feud that could have been great but never happened, I guess due to a generation gap. I think I might see why now as they badly botch a spot and the bad attempt at a save just fails miserably.

Jericho and Angle are in there now and Jericho hooks the ankle lock as we continue to shame the history of Ken Shamrock, who would win the TNA World Title in about nine months. Actually it was the NWA World Title at the time, but it was exclusive to TNA so whatever. The heels take their time beating on Jericho which at least makes sense. It’s fairly slow and boring, but it’s working to an extent I suppose.

We get a double hot tag to give us Rock vs. Angle. Rock hits the awful belly to belly to set up the even worse Sharpshooter to which Angle shockingly taps. More on that later. Since Rock is a jackass, he won’t let go until Austin knocks him off. Heyman’s panicking is just great here. Jericho can’t get the Walls, but Austin does of all things, but they last about a second. Austin is bleeding, and of course it’s profusely since it’s PPV.

Since it hasn’t been mentioned all match, we suddenly remember that Austin might be jumping, despite Vince saying it was nonsense. Austin counters Jericho’s roll up into one of his own, and wouldn’t you know it, the final two are Rock and Austin. For the life of me, I NEVER would have seen this as the final two. Ok that’s a lie but whatever. As Austin and Rock are getting going, Jericho hits Rock with the Breakdown, which technically should be a DQ.

Actually it shouldn’t be since it’s his own team so never mind. Rock naturally kicks out. Jericho heads back to the ring but Taker comes out for the save. That’s a feud that sadly never happened. They just had their first match in September of this year. That’s saying a lot. If Rock ever sold any big spot properly I think I’d have a heart attack. I get the point in doing it, but it’s just way too much most of the time, at least in my eyes.

They fight to the floor and land in the most famous of all places. Rock lands some punches square in the shoulder of Austin which for some reason keep him down. Ross and Heyman are just laying into each other on commentary and it’s great. I have no issue with the announcers being biased in circumstances like this. Austin hooks a bad Sharpshooter because we have to have a Montreal reference at every major show in history.

Austin isn’t even leaning back on it so it just looks like Rock has his legs up. There’s no heat on the move at all from the crowd because it looks so awful and no one buys that Rock is in a lot of pain at all. A belt shot from Austin misses and it’s the third bad Sharpshooter of the night. Dang is this some golden edition of the Montreal reference package or something? It’s a sad thing when Rock’s Sharpshooter is better than someone else’s but that’s the case here.

In a cool scene, Austin has the WWF belt and is holding onto it as he tries to get to the ropes. For once, Ross points something out and says being champion is Austin’s life and is the reason he won’t tap. That’s ridiculous because it’s been made clear that champions won’t get fired, but at least Ross is trying. In a stupid thing, Austin gets the ropes but Rock pulls him away, so Hebner keeps checking for the submission. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

On the second time though Earl makes him break it. What’s the point of that? Y am I wasting my time trying to figure this out? Since it’s Rock vs. Austin, Rock hits a Stunner, allegedly on the inventor of it, but I don’t see Mikey Whipwreck anywhere. Nick Patrick runs out to pull Hebner out to prevent the three as Heyman says he’s a licensed official.

For some reason the idea of taking the test for your refereeing license amuses me. What’s the test like? If you mess up more than three counts you don’t pass? Do you have to learn how many taps there are in a proper tap out? Ok it’s not as funny as I thought it was. Austin hits a Rock Bottom of his own but of course he kicks out. Austin beats up Patrick, because that’s just what he does.

Since it’s a major PPV, Hebner goes down. Rock takes another Stunner and amazingly only oversells a bit. There’s no referee though as I wonder why Vince doesn’t just call for the bell on his own. It’s his show, so it’s not like it would be mind blowing. Angle runs out and screws the Alliance by hitting Austin with the belt straight into the Rock Bottom for the perfectly timed conscious Hebner to end the Alliance. The crowd was electric over this.

Heyman is at a loss for words, which shows how huge of a moment this is. Ross screams that Heyman is out of work AGAIN, which is great. Fink’s announcement of the winning organization is absolutely perfect. Stephanie is crying badly as the WWF guys are celebrating. What I meant earlier was that Angle was apparently sent into the Alliance by Vince, and it turned out that Angle, not Austin, was the one that would turn all along.

This wound up ticking off Taker, setting up his heel turn and massive haircut. Oh look, it’s Vince to take credit for something that he played absolutely zero part in. It’s good to know that some things never change. The sight of Vince holding up his arms in triumph in a WCW town no less takes us out.

Rating: B. The two problems here are very obvious. First of all, there was zero chance that the WWF would lose. Second, it was beyond obvious that it would come down to Austin vs. Rock in their I guess 23rd PPV ending fight. The match itself is good if not very good, but there’s just no drama whatsoever, which they clearly tried to put in by having Jericho and Rock against four guys and then Jericho screwing Rock.

Even still though, the ending was never once in doubt. I get that it had to be that way, but they booked themselves into a huge corner here and it showed badly. I don’t think this could have been a classic, but it was about as good as it could have been.

As for what happens after this, the next PPV, Vengeance, would be the famous night where Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night for the first ever Undisputed Title. Allegedly that was supposed to go to HHH but he wasn’t completely healed yet. He would take the belt from Jericho at Mania. Also, tomorrow night Flair would show up as the person that bought up Shane and Stephanie’s stock and became co-owner in a shocker.

That would eventually lead to the Brand Split which still defines the company to this day. As for the rest of them, nothing of note happened at all. Naturally the major stars of the Alliance stayed while a lot of the weaker guys became jobbers. The Brand Split really did help a lot of issues as it saved a lot of jobs. Who cares that the fans hated it? Since when have we cared what they think? Oh and on a final random note, Lawler would be back tomorrow on Raw.

Overall Rating: C+. The problem with this show as a hole is simple: other than the main event, not a thing mattered. No one cared about anything but the Survivor Series match. While the other stuff is technically important, no one cared and that’s all there was to it. The show is good enough, but the lack of drama just kills it. If it were me, I would have waited at least another six months for this, but granted I wasn’t around for it and there could have been outside factors.

I can’t imagine what they could have been, but they might have existed. The show is worth checking out for the historic aspect, but I’d say just check out the cage match and the main event, because other than that the show is completely forgettable. I barely remembered anything about the card at all when I watched it if that tells you anything. Not really recommended, but it’s not bad enough to recommend to avoid.

Ok, so now that the show is over, my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole. Clearly it wasn’t what it could have been had they been patient and waited about another year to have Hogan, Nash, Flair, Goldberg and I guess RVD out there. Flair showed up on Raw the next night, Hall, Nash and Hogan in February, so it’s not like these guys were an eternity away. But that’s not the biggest issue I see in why it failed. Take a look at Team Alliance for this show.

We have Austin, Angle, Booker, RVD and Shane. In other words, three WWF guys and one each from ECW and WCW. That’s where this show and plan falls apart on all levels. This never was about WWF vs. ECW or WCW. It was about putting down the other two companies to stroke Vince’s ego even more which is evidenced at the end of the show. Vince celebrating is the last thing you see, as it’s his moment again rather than the company’s or the wrestlers’.

That’s why the company is in the shape it’s in now: it’s all about Vince. Think about all the bad comedy angles that go on, especially with the guest hosts. It’s because Vince has no idea what’s funny anymore. He’s mainly on Raw and that’s where the stupid stuff happens. Smackdown and ECW are well written, action-oriented shows, which is what they’re supposed to be.

On paper this looks awesome, but with so few people that actually make sense in this, there was just no way it could work. It could have worked had it been given more time and effort, but there’s just no way to pull off what should have been the biggest storyline of all time in six months, plain and simple.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Dynamite is now a month old so it is time for a dissection.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-month/