Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Obviously it’s a year later and there’s few differences. The main one is that Hogan is once again the world champion (stunning isn’t it?) and the Deadman has arrived. Other than that, there are very few differences. Hart is a singles wrestler now, so that’s the last major difference that I was forgetting. This card is really forgotten over time if you look at it from an historical standpoint.

The main event is Hogan and Warrior against Slaughter and his two cronies in a handicap match, meaning that Sheik Adnan al-Kaissie and the Iron Sheik are supposed to be equal to Hogan or Warrior? Remember Adnan? Neither do I. He was a manager in the AWA and that’s about it. The other big deal is tonight is the marriage of Savage and Elizabeth, because marriage, the most holy of unions, has to be on PPV right???

Other than that, this card is really forgettable. The main interesting point in this is what the Warrior did. He allegedly threatened to no show the PPV unless Vince paid him some obscene amount. He pulled this a few days before the PPV, and Vince really had no choice but to do what Warrior said.

This is where the “I couldn’t wait to fire him” line came from. Warrior got to the back after the match and was fired immediately. Other than that, there’s next to nothing of interest here, but I’ve seen worse cards be watchable, so maybe this one will be as well. Let’s find out.

Very standard opening with the song playing and the announcers talking about the big stuff that evening. Standard, but fine I guess.

Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just called the Dragon here, and this is the famous scene where he’s dressed as a human lizard that breathes fire into the air. That’s a shame that he’s fallen this far this fast. He’d be back in WCW in just a few months where he was at least given some decent feuds and no stupid costume. Commentators completely ignore the match to talk about the matches later on in the show. Wait, they mentioned the six man.

You know I think these six…no it was just a quick thing about it. I feel like I’m watching a Nitro taping. Tornado comes in and all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about the match. I think that’s a bit of a shot at Steamboat by Vince. Literally, he was in there two and a half minutes and got one line about him. He leaves and the commentary is all about the match. We’re about 5 minutes into this and I’m still looking for a point to it.

I think it’s supposed to be Warlord vs. Bulldog, but I’m not sure really. It’s just a random group of faces vs. three heels with the same manager. I’m so utterly bored by this match that I can’t actually think of the words to explain it. It is just so standard and basic that I could see it at an FCW show. The wrestling is fine, but there’s no thought here at all. Faces win.

Rating: D. This was just so boring. Like I said, the wrestling was fine, but dang it was just there. There’s no thought, no story, no reason for this to take place. It’s an ok opener, but I would have wanted to see anything else.

Hey kids! Call this number if you want to hear a prerecorded comment from Savage or Liz about their fake wedding! Your parents won’t mind!

Mr. Perfect says he’s a great champion.

IC Title: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Dang this was on second? This is by far and away the best match on the card and a lot of people, including Norcal, says that it’s one of the best matches ever. These two had such a magnificent chemistry together and it’s hardly ever been topped. I defy you to find a better pair of guys to have such consistent matches with. Stu and Helen are there…again. Has there ever been a match with Bret that they haven’t been at?

You don’t see them at Owen’s matches. No wonder Owen was the bitter one. Coach is there with Perfect, and sadly enough his death got NO coverage due to Misawa dying a day later. They start with a great set of back and forth stuff with no one being able to get an advantage. It’s one of those types of openings where you have a guy in control but he’s not dominating at all. Hart does that here by just having on a basic headlock.

Heenan continues to show why he’s as important as anyone on the roster as his lines about Bret’s parents make you want to cheer for Bret more than anyone else could. Perfect gets his singlet literally ripped apart by Hart which makes him look almost crazed about the match. He looks like he’s in a war despite this having been going about 7 minutes at this point. This is a great dynamic for a match as you have the young lion Bret facing the established veteran in Perfect, who has the exact same style.

Crowd is way into this one too, which is making it better. Perfect’s hair looks like he got a bad shock as his perm has practically exploded. He takes over though as Heenan is singing his praises. We get a hair toss, which isn’t something that you see that often in a men’s match. That would hurt like heck too. Imagine being tossed by your hair. If that’s going to happen to me I better be getting paid for it. There’s a good story playing out here as Perfect counters everything that Hart has.

Hart kicks out of the Perfect Plex as the fans and Heenan lose their minds. Heenan says that no one has ever done that, which is ridiculous as Warrior did it in 1990. Hart brings up the original 5 moves of doom to put Perfect in “a whole heap of trouble.” Coach breaks this up though so Perfect has control again. He drops a let between Bret’s legs and backflips out of it which is cool looking.

He does it again, and in one of the SWEETEST counters I’ve ever seen, Bret grabs his leg, puts the Sharpshooter on him on the mat from his back, spins him over and then pulls back on it for the tap out. That was freaking sweet. Bret runs over to his family to celebrate. We get to hear Stu’s voice, which I never recall hearing other than this.

Rating: A+. These guys were spot on the whole time. It was a nearly 20 minute match and I didn’t see a single botch or anything resembling a botch at all. That counter at the end was absolute perfection and it played so well into the rest of the match. These two had so much chemistry they might as well be a magnet high school. Great match all around.

Hulk Hogan has a special PPV coming up, which is nothing but his “biggest” matches. Forerunner to 24/7 I guess.

We cut to the back to see the Bushwackers and Andre the Giant, which has to the weirdest pairing of all time. Andre was completely gone at this point with big crutches holding him up. This is explained by Earthquake being the guy that injured him. This was his last major WWF appearance save for popping up at a battle royal in London a few months later, which wasn’t televised until on 24/7 and some special releases.

Bushwackers vs. Natural Disasters

It’s so sad to see the Bushwackers have to walk so slow to let Andre keep up with them. He just didn’t need to be out there at this point but you can see it in his eyes that he’s having a ball out there. His love for the business was so obvious and it’s a shame he wasn’t around for the big boom in the 90s, at least to see it if nothing else. Now in case you’re an idiot and can’t figure it out, this is a comedy match.

GREAT line by Piper. Heenan says if he were the manager of the Bushwackers he’s kill himself. Piper says go apply for the job. Piper was a freaking riot when he didn’t like someone. To further make this stupid, the Bushwackers beat them up to start. Can someone explain to me why this makes sense? Piper says that two guys from New Zealand are Americana personified. He can be a riot but he can also be a moron.

Heenan with a Larry, Darryl and Darryl joke to take the lead in the best commentator of the night race. Andre continues to point and grunt about various things. Heenan leaves to interview Hogan as the ND finally take control and the match gets boring in a hurry. Did the Wackers EVER do anything of note? I can’t remember anything.

Anyway, as expected, this ends with a Bushwacker, the one that licked me at a house show, getting pinned. Afterwards the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD run out for the save and the showdown that I’m not sure ever occurred.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match. What do you really expect here? It was however, pretty short so it could have been far, far worse.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA title to continue what should have been the biggest showdown of all time, but they somehow screwed it up. Heenan’s unveiling of the NWA Big Gold Belt in 91 still ranks in my top five most awesome moments in wrestling history. Hogan (never seen or heard) slams the door in his face.

More Savage/Liz phone line ads. Macho is shown on the phone line. This is just stupid.

DiBiase and Mooney recap the Virgil/DiBiase history. As bad as Virgil was, this match was actually kind of epic as the pop for Virgil finally turning was pretty big. This is the rematch from Mania 7 where Virgil won by countout.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

The wrestling here isn’t the appeal. Virgil has had very few matches at this point while DiBiase is one of the best in ring workers of all time. Surprisingly enough, DiBiase dominates early on. It’s pretty basic with punches and kicks with a roll-up here or there. There’s just not a lot to say about the first half of this match. Both guys are going pretty light out there which is fine I think, as it’s really more about the storyline than the match itself.

Piper was Virgil’s mentor so he’s cheering wildly for him. Heenan gets in a great line about Virgil being so dumb he’ll try to bronze the gold belt. After about 5 minutes of Virgil getting beaten up, he catches DiBiase in a Million Dollar Dream until Sherri runs in to cause the DQ as Piper absolutely snaps.

HOWEVER!

The referee decides that’s not fair and sends Sherri to the back while ordering the match to continue. Now we get a better match as they’re going a bit harder but Virgil is hurt after being hit by the loaded purse. DiBiase proceeds to kick his body guarding self from one side of the ring to the other, but the ref was bumped so we have no one to count the pin.

A piledriver (which is what love feels just like sometimes) puts him nearly out as DiBiase takes off the turnbuckle. Virgil counters and rams him in twice. I don’t like the ending though as it takes Virgil about 20 seconds to get the cover and the win. Piper goes insane over this.

Rating: B. As I said, this was all storyline and it was a very fun one. Virgil rising up to face DiBiase and say that he’d had enough, leading to the big blowoff of him winning the title that literally was DiBiase’s was just perfect. The wrestling was pretty bad, but the emotion makes up for it.

The Mountie says he’ll win tonight.

Big Bossman says he’ll win tonight.

Jailhouse Match: Big Bossman vs. Mountie

The loser spends a night in a New York jail, which is kind of an interesting idea. This was around the time that Mountie was using this stupid shock stick to attack people. Monsoon says this will be a classic. That’s just comical. Piper would finally beat Mountie as he had a vest or something that absorbed the electricity, which is actually brilliant. There’s all kinds of bad prison jokes by Heenan here as this is supposed to be a huge match.

Apparently the loser also gets arrested and will have a criminal record. Dude, seriously, this is absurd. I still can’t get over the fact that Mountie beat Bret Hart and Hogan. You’d think he was Edge or something. This is a pretty boring match as once again it’s all about storyline as the match really just doesn’t live up to the hype.

Gorilla says that Hart is the best advertisement for birth control he’s ever seen. It just kind of happens slowly and no one cares about this match. Bossman wins and they take Mountie to jail, in one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D. I can’t believe I liked this as a kid. The styles just didn’t mesh. Mountie was better when he wrestled as a light weight, not this. Boss Man was outliving his usefulness at this point, but that can be attributed to them never really giving him a serious push. This whole gimmick as just dumb and the match was even worse.

DiBiase is mad that he lost the title, which was stolen from him.

Hart is happy about winning the title.

Jimmy Hart is with the Natural Disasters and is FREAKING OUT over Mountie. This is a pretty funny bit from him. The Disasters want the LOD. That’s not a good idea.

Boss Man makes fun of the Mounite as we must be on an intermission.

Gene is talking to Savage who is nervous, so let’s plug his phone call thing.

Holy

Freaking

Goodness

They actually put the intermission clock on the screen! It’s 5 minutes of dead silence, with the Savage phone number on the screen. You can hear the crowd cheering something. Boy it would be fun to actually SEE what they’re cheering for wouldn’t it? This is freaking stupid. I’m sitting here for 5 minutes waiting on a clock to count down. Why in the world was this left on the home video? I don’t want to look at a countdown.

Right now I’d rather read a book or something like that. We would have had to pay for this back in the day. After turning off my Best of Starrcade DVD which is more interesting to look at the box of than this countdown, we come back…to the Summerslam logo! My goodness people wonder why no one bought wrestling PPVs back in the day. At least give us some promos or something. Is it really that hard to do?

We go straight to the jail, where Mountie is arriving. My goodness, WHY WASN’T THIS USED DURING THE BREAK? If you want to have a live intermission that’s cool but don’t waste the money of the people paying by making them watch a freaking clock. That’s just stupid. Yeah this isn’t funny.

The Nasty Boys are in the back and Jimmy is still losing it. This is going to be a street fight for the belts against the LOD. The champions leave but first, we go back the jail where Mountie is panicking over everything, this time being photographed which is apparently like taking his soul.

Gene is with the LOD who say this is right up their alley. This promo is more about the Natural Disasters than the title match they have next. But before that silly thing like a tag title match, we go back for more “comedy” as Mountie is offended by getting his fingerprints taken.

MORE promos as I’m just sick of these now. Slaughter and company say they’ll win. This is just freaking ridiculous as we’ve gone 20 minutes since the end of the last match.

Screw it I give up. Sid has to do a promo now since he’s the referee for the main event. Did we really need the 5 minute clock with all these promos? Was this intermission half an hour? We see a video of Sid being offered a spot with Slaughter’s team.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

What the heck, you mean you don’t want to interview the caterers? Like I said this is a street fight for the belts. It’s kind of funny hearing Gorilla have to play babysitter between the two commentators. LOD is WAY over. Piper says that stands for look out dummy. Actually I believe it stands for Legion of Doom there Roddy. Big brawl of course to start us off.

We talk about Sid a lot as the referee tries to get people to tag in and out. I will never get the point of that in a street fight. And after the first few minutes it becomes a regular tag match. Well sure why not. Hawk plays Ricky Morton in a weird casting decision. Sags hits a top rope elbow on Hawk for two as Animal saves.

Animal comes in off the fairly hot tag and yeah this is going to be dominance. The Nasties get in a helmet (Jimmy’s trademark with them for some reason) shot to Hawk which does nothing for the most part. Hawk hits both guys with it and the Device on Sags gives them their first WWF Tag Titles.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak for the most part. It started and ended fairly hot but the middle is just dull. It’s a tag team match for about 5 minutes and the rest is nothing at all. There’s nothing here worth anything other than the LOD getting their first tag titles which took them forever to get. Pretty weak here but it was quick. One thing though: did ANYONE not see the title change coming? Anyone? Nah I didn’t think so.

Uh oh. I think that crazy Mountie might be up to more hijinks. Let’s see what kind of shenanigans he’s gotten himself into this time, that little rascal. Oh look at this! That hilarious Mountie got put inside a cell! What kind of improbably circumstances could he find himself in there? Wait and see!

Survivor Series promo.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Yep, it’s a filler on a show with a 5 minute intermission. I wonder if this qualifies for the worst booked show of all time. Valentine was completely done at this point and this was to do nothing but put over Irwin. Both guys here are great workers though so if you can ignore the stupidity of putting this on next to last after the ridiculous amount of filler we’ve already had, this could be a good match.

Apparently Roberts and Taker are in Madison Square Garden which is a huge deal. Yeah it’s not like those two could be on the card or something like that. Oh hey, did you hear that Mountie is in jail? Not sure if I made that clear, but Mountie is in jail for the night. About five minutes into this match, we address it. Remember what I said about this might be ok? I was wrong, this match sucks.

Valentine puts the figure four on him but he gets to the ropes without really selling it at all. He goes for it again and gets rolled up with a shoulder up and kicking out before the three, but I guess the referee says end this suckage now and I’ll buy you an Air Supply album. That’ll keep Valentine distracted for hours.

Rating: D+. I feel so bad for guys like this when the commentators aren’t the least bit interested in the match. At least give them something to work on. No one wanted to see this and it would have been better being much earlier in the show. It was pretty bad, but if the announcers had actually tried, it would have been at least watchable.

Hogan says to buy his PPV in the fall.

Hogan and Warrior are feeling patriotic apparently. The big problem with the whole Iraq storyline was this: the war had ended 6 months ago. There’s a running story/joke that Vince was hoping the war went until May so the main event of Mania would have made sense. Of course, since the writers were lazy even back then, which I believe the writers consisted of Vince back then, let’s just keep it going for another 6 months instead of having a real main event at Summerslam.

Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan vs. Hogan/Warrior

Let me make this clear: no one cares. Sid is the referee instead of having him face Warrior in what could have been a big match, or a Warrior/Hogan vs. Slaughter rematch which also would have been an interesting match. Ok no it wouldn’t have been but it would have been a real main event. The world champion is in a freaking handicap match at Summerslam. This is so stupid. Let’s get this nonsense over with please.

In case you can’t tell, I freaking hate this show. The faces dominate early as the fans cheer and no one is surprised. The only interesting thing here is to watch Warrior as he knows it’s his last match. Nothing special from him as Hogan gets beaten down and has to get beaten up by a couple of 50 year olds. He even takes the camel clutch from the man he beat for the world title 7 and a half years ago. That’s just weird to think about.

Hulkamania was born less than 8 years before this. They actually acknowledge that he’s the Sheik which I didn’t remember them doing. Hogan makes his comeback and tags Warrior, who beats up the heels but then gets beaten down himself. My goodness where do they come up with this brilliant storytelling? I’ve never seen anything like it (tonight at least)!

Warrior with his comeback and then it’s a brawl, no one is interested, Warrior grabs a chair and chases the two near senior citizens to the back because he can’t beat them on his own where he’s promptly fired. Hogan uses some powder and pins Slaughter with Sid doing absolutely nothing of note the entire match. Posing ensues as Sid joins him. This was a BIG waste of time.

Rating: D. There is absolutely no thought in this match at all. It’s two faces against three heels. I don’t think there was any buildup, and if there was it’s not mentioned here. Hogan was about to drop the title to Taker in two months, and Taker isn’t even on the card.

There was a home video released where this same match happened, but Taker was in it instead of the old guy not named Iron Sheik. Now wouldn’t that have been better here? This was called the Match Made In Hell. That’s a perfect title, because it would be perfect in the 8th circle of eternal torment. Horrible match and I’m glad it’s over.

And one more time, we see the Mountie in jail, this time being hit on by a fat biker. See, it’s funny because the biker wants to screw Mountie. See why that’s funny? I want to make sure it’s known that this is designed to be a joke, because I don’t think they made it clear enough. That’s a bit risqué for 1991.

We get the whole promo of Savage proposing to Liz, as this is the match made in heaven. See what they did? Match made in heaven and its opposite? See how intelligent Vince was to imply one was good and one was bad? Oh yeah that’s awesome indeed. In case that’s not enough emotion for you, we get a 4 minute music video, highlighting their entire history. The thing at Mania was amazing stuff and for the simple reason of it was spontaneous. This is just overkill.

The wedding is of course in the middle of the ring, which is of course set up to look like a chapel. Savage comes out first, in his hat, which has a, I’m not making this up, two foot high feather on it. We even have stupid flower girls and ring bearers. Could this get any sappier? Liz comes out looking stunning of course as the only thing that’s appealing about the whole thing. They say I do and the show ends.

Now for the actual good part: the reception. This was a bonus on some versions of the tape that has some of the best comedy I’ve ever seen. We get the standard stuff: toast, first dance, cake, etc. One thing that’s funny here is Gene says Mr. and Mrs. Macho. Shouldn’t it be Mr. and Mrs. Savage? Now we get to the really good part, as they open their wedding gifts.

Savage opens one and finds a blender. “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” For some reason this is just freaking hysterical to me. He sounds like he won the WWF Title or something. Anyway, they get some candlesticks to which Savage shouts that next time they should send money. Liz looks at him, wondering what’s this about next time. Savage turns back and yells KIDDING! Then it kicks off as Liz opens a box to find a King Cobra.

Taker appears out of nowhere and blasts Savage in the head with the urn. Did no one see the SEVEN FOOT TALL GUY IN ALL BLACK AND A COWBOY HAT??? Jake comes in with a snake handler’s glove and another snake, yet no one stopped him either. Sid comes in with a wooden chair to run them off as we end with me laughing my head off at it.

Overall Rating: D. This show sucked. It has ONE good match. The rest is bad comedy and a horrible main event. I literally couldn’t remember what the main event was at this show when I was trying to think of it the other day. That should happen at Judgment Day or something, not freaking SUMMERSLAM.

Half the show was dedicated to an unfunny angle that was a waste of time. There is one match that’s bringing this up to a D from an F-. Watch that, and that’s it. This might be the worst of the big four that I’ve ever seen, including WM 11.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Evolve 10^th Anniversary
Date: July 13, 2019
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentator: Lenny Leonard

This one is interesting for a lot of reasons, starting with the fact that it is WWE’s first official head to head competition against AEW, which is running Fight For The Fallen at the same time. Evolve is an indy company that has become an unofficial feeding system for WWE, which has even sent some talent there for Evolve shows. This has been hyped up harder than most Takeovers so it could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

I don’t follow Evolve for the most part so I have no idea what the storylines are going on. I’m sorry in advance for anything I miss or get wrong.

The opening video looks at current WWE stars getting some of their best exposure in Evolve. Names including Cesaro, Tony Nese, Ricochet and Daniel Bryan (who came up with the name of the promotion) among many others.

For those of you who keep track of numbers, this is Evolve 131.

Some of the roster is in the ring with ring announcer Lenny Leonard talking about how these people have earned the right to be here. Josh Briggs grabs the mic and says he wants his match with Anthony Greene to start right now because this is his opportunity.

Josh Briggs vs. Anthony Greene

Briggs is introduced with the caveat that “odds are he doesn’t like you.” Greene on the other hand is described as retro and has a redheaded woman with him. The much bigger Briggs throws him around to start and nails a pair of backbreakers. The threat of what looked like a chokeslam sends Greene bailing to the floor, leaving the redhead (Brandi Lauren) to grab Briggs’ foot to little avail.

Greene knocks him to the floor but gets chokeslammed onto the apron for his efforts. Some right hands have Briggs in trouble and a rope walk spinning crossbody gets two. Greene stomps away in the corner and the fans aren’t pleased, including when Lauren gets in a forearm. Worry not though because she didn’t see anything. A neckbreaker gives Greene two and the fans think Retro sucks. Briggs comes back with a running boot in the corner and another backbreaker into a butterfly backbreaker for two.

There’s a big boot to Greene’s face, followed by a reverse Razor’s Edge flipped forward into a sitout powerslam for another near fall. Greene scores with an enziguri and does it again for good measure, setting up a half crab on Briggs’ long leg. A 450 misses Briggs but Greene rolls him into the corner for two of his own. Lauren gets caught interfering for an ejection but Greene gets two off a super victory roll anyway. Some low superkicks rock Briggs and Greene goes for the leg, only to get pulled into a pop up powerbomb for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C. It took me a little while to get around the idea of the retro guy being the heel and the big guy (who probably doesn’t like you) being the face but once they got into a rhythm, this was a nice match with the power guy trying to catch the smaller one and finally powerbombing him into oblivion. They didn’t overstay its welcome and that’s what matters most in an opener.

Video on the Unwanted, who have replaced Isaiah Scott (Shane Strickland) with Sean Maluta. They’re not going to let AR Fox and his dojo buddy beat them on the Network because they’ve come too far to lose now. They seem to be a heel stable of outcasts who have banded together.

Sean Maluta vs. Curt Stallion vs. Stephen Wolf vs. Harlem Bravado

One fall to a finish. Wolf jumps Bravado as his shirt comes off and they fight to the floor. Maluta kicks Stallion in the head but Wolf comes back in. Wolf and Bravado head outside for back to back dives from Wolf and Maluta. Back in and Wolf suplexes Stallion for two but gets sent outside by Bravado. Maluta comes back with a forearm to knock Bravado off the ropes before superkicking Wolf out of the air for two. Wolf and Maluta hit crossbodies at the same time but Wolf is fine enough to enziguri Bravado.

It’s a big staredown between Wolf and Stallion with the fans split about their favorite. Wolf clotheslines Stallion into oblivious and everyone is down for a breather. Bravado is up with a Death Valley Driver on Wolf, who bails out to the floor. Maluta nails a Codebreaker on Bravado but there’s no one to cover. Wolf is back in with a release Blue Thunder Bomb on Maluta and Bravado adds Angel’s Wings (or Straight Cash Money Homey), only to get caught with a shooting star press from Wolf for the pin at 9:22.

Rating: C-. The match was almost all action but I had a bit of a hard time keeping up with what was going on and there was little explanation of who was who and their histories together. It was fine enough, but it also felt like it was the token multiman match that every indy show needs to include.

Video on Anthony Henry, who can do a little bit of everything and has MMA experience. In an indy wrestler? You don’t say. Though to be fair, I’ve heard good things about him.

Anthony Henry vs. Arturo Ruas

Ruas is better known as Adrian Jaoude in NXT and Henry is rather popular with the fans. The announcers hype this up as a grudge match as Ruas misses an early spinning kick to the head. Instead he goes for an armbar attempt to send Henry over to the ropes. Henry can’t get an armbreaker either so he hits Ruas in the back of the head and fails at another armbreaker attempt.

Henry’s nose is cut as Ruas drives in some knees in the corner. We get some more of the history between these two, as Ruas was a hot shot prospect but Henry gave him his first loss. Henry straights away some more and gets the armbreaker, only to have Ruas roll him up for two. Ruas tries to pick him up but gets caught in a sleeper. With that broken up, Henry hits one heck of a kick to the head.

Henry misses the ropes on a tornado DDT attempt so it’s a regular version, followed by a top rope double stomp (with Ruas having to roll over so it can hit). An ankle lock on Ruas’ bare foot is broken up and they wind up on the mat for a slap off. Henry hammers him down with right hands but Ruas catches him with a spinning kick to the head for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: B-. I’m usually not wild on having the wrestlers do an MMA style match but these two went with it the entire way and it was a lot of fun as a result. This felt different and the commentary did a much better job of telling me the story here. I’m surprised Henry lost after the video about him but it was a good match.

We recap Shotzi Blackheart vs. Brandi Lauren. They got in a big fight after a match at their last show and tonight it’s No DQ.

Brandi Lauren vs. Shotzi Blackheart

No DQ and they’re in something close to street clothes for a different kind of feel. The bell rings and a woman named Natalya Markova runs in to jump Shotzi after about two seconds. A running spinning X Factor plants Shotzi but she fights back out of the corner as Lauren watches from the floor. Shotzi manages a dive onto both of them and comes up sporting a bloody nose.

It’s time for some chairs but Shotzi takes too long, allowing Brandi to hit a dive into those chairs. The chairs are arranged again but Shotzi blocks a suplex onto them. Lauren’s apron bomb gets two (and a KEVIN OWENS chant), meaning it’s time to yell at the referee over his counting ability. Shotzi’s Cannonball (great band name) gets two but she can’t hit Sliced Bread #2 on the apron.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Shotzi the more I like her and Lauren was no slouch. The interference at the beginning just kind of came and went though I like the idea. The ending didn’t do much for me though as the match just felt like it ended as the guys fought to the back. What we got was rather entertaining though and, again, something different than the rest of the night, which is almost always a good idea.

House show ads.

Colby Corino vs. Babatunde

Colby is Unwanted and has Sean Maluta in his corner. Babatunde is a 7’ monster. Colby, who might weigh 130lbs soaking wet, says he doesn’t care how big Babatunde is and slaps him in the chest, meaning the beating is on in a hurry. A Maluta distraction doesn’t work and Babatunde hits a chop so hard that I thought it was a chair shot. Colby gets in a few more shots but gets tossed into the corner with ease. A great big elbow and a great big splash finish Corino at 3:10.

Rating: D. How in the world is Babatunde still stuck in NXT? He’s got a great look, moved quite well and wrestled like a giant. Unless he just can’t do anything else but squashes, I have no idea why he’s stuck there. Someone with his size alone should be worthy of at least a bodyguard spot.

Post match Eddie Kingston and the Unwanted (reigning Evolve Tag Team Champion) come out to say they have a problem with Baba Booey. They don’t like Babatunde being given everything because he’s a giant football player at a PC. They took out the Street Profits and they’ll take him out too, but here are AR Fox and Leon Ruff with the SKULK to interrupt.

And yes SKULK, not SKULL, which I was apparently dumb enough to think they said at a Wrestlemania weekend show. I was so dumb that one of them complained to me about it on Twitter, because I didn’t know enough about wrestling to see that a bunch of people who dance around with Fox are incredibly valuable and completely necessary (apparently they give him advice, dance and do dives too).

Or that I wasn’t smart enough to think that a show with two titles being defended (as in titles with a history) meant that it had some storyline significance. I was just dumb enough to think that it was supposed to be like WWE and not a bunch of people having fun on a show. But yes, it is completely necessary to have a five person entourage for a two man tag team. Fox and Ruff hit the ring to dive onto the Unwanted, meaning the title match is on. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SKULK??? THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT AND I MUST KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM!

Tag Team Titles: AR Fox/Leon Ruff vs. Unwanted

Eddie Kingston and Joe Gacy are defending for the Unwanted and Fox trained Ruff. This is also under Relaxed Rules, pretty much meaning Fox starts even faster and hits an imploding 450 to take the champs down. Back in and Ruff hits a rope walk hurricanrana on Gacy, setting up some kicks to the face and a low Stunner for two. Kingston comes back in to take over on the much smaller Ruff, followed by a Russian legsweep/STO combination on Fox.

The champs start the hard chops on Ruff in the corner and the cringing is strong. Kingston superplexes Ruff into a powerbomb from Gacy for two but Fox saves him from something else off the top. Ruff’s DDT out of the corner gets two on Kingston and Fox’s springboard Spanish Fly gets the same on Gacy.

Kingston sends Fox outside and puts Ruff on top, leaving Gacy to set up a table on the floor. Fox is back in with a big springboard dropkick and Ruff hits something like a crucifix bomb to bring Kingston back down. A running dive over the top sends Gacy through the table and a 450 to Kingston gives Fox the pin and the titles at 8:21.

Rating: B-. Well of course they won. How could you not with the SKULK out there? This was a nice wild brawl and fast paced enough to make it feel different than the previous brawl between the women. I had fun with this match again, and they still aren’t wasting time out there to make the matches feel long. Good stuff here.

Post match, a lot of dancing ensues.

We recap Drew Gulak vs. Matt Riddle. They both used to be in Evolve as part of the Catch Point (stable of amateur style wrestlers) and Gulak put out a challenge for this show. Riddle accepted and the match was on.

Drew Gulak vs. Matt Riddle

Non-title and both are well received. Riddle has Curt Stallion with him while Gulak is in a Catch Point robe and walks through a group of people in Catch Point hoodies. Oh yeah I’d say this is a big one. They start with the strikes until Riddle takes him down without much effort. That’s reversed into a quickly broken ankle lock as the fans sing something I can’t make out. They fight over arm control but Riddle has to break out of the Gulock.

With that not working, Gulak goes to the middle rope but dives int a jumping knee. The Bromission goes on for half a second until Gulak rolls over into a cover for two and that’s a standoff. Gulak’s suplex gets one and it’s back to the boxing as the fans are split here. Riddle nails a powerbomb but his knee to the face is countered into a powerbomb from Gulak. That’s switched into a half crab in an awesome transition, sending Riddle straight over to the ropes.

Back up and now the jumping knee to the face gets two on Gulak, who hits a hard shot to the face of his own and they’re both down. They slug it out from their knees with Riddle getting the better of it and hitting a penalty kick to the chest for two. Riddle grabs his own Gulock but Gulak escapes in a hurry, only to get caught in a triangle. That’s broken in a hurry as well so Riddle hits a fisherman’s buster for two.

Gulak bails to the apron so Riddle grabs a sleeper to pull him to the middle rope for a German superplex, dropping Gulak on his head. After Gulak assures the referee he’s ok, it’s the spinning Broton off the top, which is reversed into the Gulock. Riddle slips out of that in a hurry though and hits the Bro Derek for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: B+. I had a great time with this one and I can see why a stable like this would be a big deal in a company like this (or anywhere). Riddle is someone who looks so goofy on his way to the ring but everything he does in his matches is crisp and smooth, which isn’t something you get out of almost anyone. I had a blast with this and it’s the Riddle and Gulak I’ve heard so much about. Very good match.

Post match Gulak talks about the way Catch Point was formed and puts over Riddle as a great competitor. He tells Stallion to be ready for his match against Riddle tomorrow in a nice little speech.

We recap JD Drake vs. Austin Theory for the WWN/Evolve Titles respectively (for lack of a better explanation, WWN is the governing body and Evolve is a member). Drake is a good old boy from North Carolina while Theory is the next big thing and a star in Evolve. Then he can go main event Takeover instead of the farm boy who sits on the couch all day like Drake does. Drake talks about everything he’s given away to this business, including a wife, missing his kid’s first steps and going through suicidal thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with a culture clash feud.

Leonard introduces a special ring announcer for the next match: Brian Idol, who doesn’t seem to impress the fans. Then the lights go out and Paul Heyman is here instead to a BIG reaction. After a lot of praise and WELCOME BACK chants, Heyman says he isn’t usually up for something like this but he volunteered to come here so he could see the future in action. Nice treat for the fans here and a smart thing to say instead of talking about ECW again.

WWN Title/Evolve Title: JD Drake vs. Austin Theory

Title for title. We get the Big Match Intros (Heyman: “You guys got pyro! We don’t have pyro!”) and we’re ready to go. Drake is a bigger guy and prides himself on being blue collar. Theory hits an early left hand but neither can hit their finishers early on. A dropkick knocks Drake into the corner so Drake comes back with his own dropkick to send Theory outside. Drake follows him with a hard chop to the chest as the announcer explains the rather long history between the two of them (well done).

Back in and Theory hammers away with forearms to the back for two and it’s off to the chinlock (haven’t seen many of those on this show). With that broken up, Theory hits a standing moonsault for two and chokes on the ropes while telling Drake to tell everyone his sad story. Drake fights up and demands that Austin hit him, because it won’t be harder than life has. That means a slam from Drake but Theory is right back up with a running dropkick into the corner.

They head outside with Drake sending him into the ropes and catching Theory with a hard right hand. Drake plants him down back inside for two more and a middle rope Rough Ryder crushes Theory again. A Cannonball misses though and Theory hits a running Blockbuster for his own two. Drake comes back with right hands in the corner but Theory slips down and grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb (really impressive given the size difference) for another near fall.

This time Theory is in shock and we get a MAMA MIA chant. Drake grabs a Stunner, sending Theory jumping higher into the air than anyone I’ve ever seen. Drill Bit (Drake’s double underhook swinging neckbreaker) gets two but Drake is smart enough to stay on him with a moonsault hitting for another near fall. The slug it out with Drake nailing a lariat but missing a second moonsault. Theory hits a series of superkicks and Ataxia (a lifting spinning Downward Spiral that didn’t look great) gives Theory the pin and the titles at 16:24.

Rating: B. Theory is someone with a lot of potential, though I’m not sure how much of a future there is on the main stage for Drake. They sold the heck out of the culture clash here with Drake wanting it because this is what means so much to him and Theory wanting it because he seems like a spoiled prodigy who things he deserves it. That’s a perfectly workable story and the match was very good at the same time.

Post match Theory throws down the WWN Title and steps on it, saying the Evolve Title is what people want to try for, but they have to go through him. There go the lights again (that’s always a problem in this building) and this time it’s….Josh Briggs with a chokeslam to not much of a reaction. That seems to be the end of the WWN Title, which is probably a good idea as the whole thing never seemed necessary.

Video on Briggs, who got into wrestling because it’s a legal way to fight someone.

NXT Title: Akira Tozawa vs. Adam Cole

Cole is defending and this is a homecoming for both. They stare at each other for a long time and it’s an UNDISPUTED vs. TOZAWA chant off. Cole takes him into the corner to start and hits the signature pose. Tozawa takes it to the mat with a headlock and screaming ensues. Back up and Tozawa scores with an enziguri as we hear about Cole not being booked on the first Evolve event despite being in the building. Cole sweeps the leg to send Tozawa’s head into the buckle to take over for the first time.

Some knees to the back keep Tozawa down and we hit that chinlock. For reasons of general arrogance, Cole shouts that he is going to be NXT Champion FOREVER, meaning he has to elbow his way out of a fireman’s carry. Cole gets knocked outside for the suicide dive but is smart enough to move before a second can launch. That’s fine with Tozawa, who hits a big flip dive over the ropes instead. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Tozawa two but Cole scores with a kick of his head.

After the referee tells them both that they have 6:45 to go, they slug it out with with Cole hitting a superkick to put them both down again with Tozawa’s mouthpiece flying out. Fans: “YOWEY WOWEY!” That’s only good for two so Cole grabs the title, drawing out Johnny Gargano for a distraction so Tozawa can roll him up for two. Tozawa’s spinning kick to the head looks to set up the top rope backsplash but Cole gets the knees up. The Panama Sunrise sets up the Last Shot to retain the title at 13:17.

Rating: C+. This felt like any house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that, though I’m not sure about it going on last. There seems to be a better option to run instead of this, such as the World Title changing hands, but maybe this was something WWE insisted upon doing. Or there’s some big moment for after the match.

Post match Gargano is ready to fight but Cole leaves. Instead Gargano helps Tozawa up and asks the fans to chant for him. Gargano talks about how awesome this is and about how he was in the first Evolve event in this very building. That tells him two things: he’s getting old and wrestling in 2019 is pretty cool. Back in the day, these shows used to close with a question to the fans. Tozawa remembers that question: did you enjoy the show?

The fans give the only chant they can for that and we pause for one fan who can scream for a very long time. The fans are the reason the wrestlers are here but tonight is about the locker room. It’s about the future instead of the past and Gargano wants us to support the company. Gargano says he loves us and it’s a bunch of bowing and shaking hands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I had a very good time with this one and that tends to be the case when I watch Evolve. The most important thing was that this didn’t feel like a WWE show but rather an Evolve show featuring some WWE names. It felt like something that paid tribute to the company and that made it a very entertaining night. At the same time, it was a heck of a show with nothing truly bad and some very good stuff in there. Check this one out as it wins the night over AEW pretty easily.

Results

Josh Briggs b. Anthony Greene – Pop up powerbomb

Stephen Wolf b. Harlem Bravado, Curt Stallion and Sean Maluta – Shooting star press to Bravado

Arturo Ruas b. Anthony Henry – Spinning kick to the head

Brandi Lauren b. Shotzi Blackheart – Kendo stick shot

AR Fox/Leon Ruff b. Unwanted – 450 to Kingston

Matt Riddle b. Drew Gulak – Bro Derek

Austin Theory b. JD Drake – Ataxia

Adam Cole b. Akira Tozawa – Last Shot

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Fight For The Fallen
Date: July 13, 2019
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Alex Marvez, Jim Ross, Excalibur

The shows are starting to pick up the pace around here and that could be a good thing. What matters here is figuring out what works and what doesn’t work before the big TV launch in October, so hopefully they can get closer to that here. I’m not sure what to expect with what we’re getting but if the show is anything like the previous two, we should be good to go. Let’s get to it.

This is an outdoor show in an amphitheater, meaning it looks more like a play, albeit with some seats behind the ring as well. It’s a really cool setup actually.

Pre-Show: Peter Avalon vs. Sonny Kiss

Avalon is one of the Librarians and says that since this is a library….here’s Kiss to break it up. His entrance is a little more energetic, with some Jacksonville Jaguars cheerleaders and the Jaguars’ mascot for a lot of dancing. Kiss dances around a lot and headscissors Avalon down, meaning more dancing. A suplex gives Kiss two as the announcers talk about Avalon having some romantic interest in fellow librarian Leva Bates. That’s more of a backstory than we’ve gotten on them in two shows. Kiss gets sent outside with Bates slowly sending him back in. Excalibur: “That’s odd.”

Kiss gets in a kick to the head and an exploder suplex, followed by the twerksault (just go with it) for two. Hang on though as Bates offers a distraction so Avalon can roll him up for two. Fans: “READING SUCKS!” Just not the book that Cody put out this week right? Avalon misses a moonsault though and Kiss’s split legged crotch drop finishes Avalon at 5:08.

Rating: D+. You can get the idea of the gimmicks a bit better here, but the match just wasn’t very good. Kiss’ dancing and stuff will get the fans energized to start things off so that’s fine, but the Librarians deal….I’m still not sure what that is supposed to be. Reading is now a heel action? Seriously? Not a good match either, but it got the fans going a bit more.

Pre-Show: Britt Baker/Riho vs. Bea Priestly/Shoko Nakajima

Riho and Priestly (Will Ospreay’s girlfriend) are the Tokyo Joshi Pro and Stardom champions respectively. Baker takes Shoko to the mat to start but gets flipped back into a quickly broken leg hold. Shoko’s crawl between the legs is cut off by the tail so it’s a not great looking running dropkick to take Baker down. Priestly comes in to quite the reaction but Baker rolls her up for a fast one.

We get some miscommunication with Britt trying to tag Shoko before going over to tag Riho instead. Priestly slams the much smaller Riho down and there’s a Shayna Baszler style arm stomp. The Fujiwara armbar sends sends Riho’s feet onto the ropes as the announcers talk about common languages and laugh about it far too much. The arm work continues for a bit until Riho finally slips over and brings in Baker.

That’s fine with Shoko, who hits a DDT and missile dropkick, sending her right back into the corner. Riho is already back in and picks up the pace, setting up a weird looking 619 from Shoko (the side of one foot hit Riho in the face). Riho tries her own 619 but Priestly kicks her in the face. Baker comes in to take Priestly down and gets faceplanted for her efforts. Shoko and Riho slug it out until Priestly and Baker break it up. They drag their partners to the corner for a pair of tags and the fans gasp at Priestly vs. Baker, which isn’t quite as epic as they seem to think it is.

Baker sends her into the corner but Priestly runs the corner for a springboard….knee to the face? I think it was supposed to be a clothesline but the placement wasn’t quite right. A butterfly suplex gives Baker two as Shoko gets back in to throw her outside. The double suicide dive connects and Shoko’s top rope backsplash gives Priestly two. Riho’s running knee to the back of Baker’s head gets two but Riho hits a running knee to Shoko’s face. The northern lights suplex gives Riho two but Shoko snaps off a hurricanrana for the pin at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This would have been better off as a four way instead of a tag match as it was much more like singles matches which were going on at the same time (as commentary said). I’m still not feeling the women’s division just yet as it’s been a bunch of random matches and pairings so far. The wrestling has been good, but these matches have been mostly interchangeable.

Post match Baker and Priestly get into it again with their partners breaking it up.

The opening video looks at most of the card and does a great job making the matches feel important. There’s no tie into the name or purpose of the show, but that’s a bit of a serious place to go so early on.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Sammy Guevara/Shawn Spears vs. Jimmy Havoc/Darby Allin/Joey Janela

Allin has bad ribs from the Cody match. Friedman was mad at Spears for the post match chair shot on Cody at Fyter Fest, which the announcers do bring up during the entrances. Friedman starts with Janela and says Spears is about to see greatness. That earns him a hiptoss, which pleases Spears very much. Havoc comes in and bites the finger but gets reversed into a wristlock, much to the fans’ annoyance.

Guevara comes in to ask who the man is before chopping Janela in the corner. A springboard crossbody misses with the fans VERY into Janela. It’s back to Havoc, with Allin not being happy with not getting the tag. Guevara gets in a jumping knee to the face so it’s off to Allin for the very high angle springboard wristdrag (Humberto Carrillo does that as well and it looks great from both of them). Janela comes back in and the announcers reference the fight with Enzo Amore, which they almost have to do.

Spears knocks Janela off the apron and starts stomping away before handing it back to Guevara. The chinlock doesn’t work and it’s almost time for Friedman and Spears to get into a fight. Friedman even gives him the ten pose but switches to a double middle finger. Janela uses the distraction to knock Spears down, allowing Friedman to call Spears an idiot. Everything breaks down with Havoc hitting a top rope superplex to Spears, complete with stepping on his partners’ backs.

Allin comes in with a flip over the back into a Stunner (cool) for two on Guevara, who is right back up to knock Havoc outside. Guevara backflips to the floor and superkicks Janela before going back inside for a standing Spanish Fly for two on Allin. Janela plants Guevara with a Death Valley Driver onto the apron, leaving Allin to hit a springboard spinning crossbody on Friedman. It bangs up the bad ribs though and Spears hits running Death Valley Driver to finish Allin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Yeah this was fun but not just for the action. The most interesting part here was having the partners who didn’t like each other, which made things a lot different than you might have guessed. That’s a nice twist and something you don’t see very often without it being hammered into your head. The match was almost all action but still managed to advance some stories. Well done indeed.

Private Party is sitting at ringside when Alex Jebailey pops in. Security gets rid of him though, because it’s a private party. Eh I chuckled. Just don’t have him wrestle again.

Video on Allie vs. Brandi Rhodes, both of whom seem to have confidence issues but keep going because they will never quit.

Brandi Rhodes vs. Allie

Hold on though as here’s Awesome Kong for a distraction but Allie ducks the cheap shot and takes over to start. Brandi gets sent outside but Allie stops to stare at Kong, allowing Brandi to take over with a shot from behind. A low superkick gets two on Allie and Kong grabs the leg to cut off any comeback attempt. Brandi hits a German suplex for two but Allie is right back with a neckbreaker for the double knockdown. A sliding forearm and a bulldog give Allie two and she puts Brandi on top.

That’s countered into the Wade Barrett swinging superplex into the suplex for two more and they’re both down. Allie is up first with a running Death Valley Driver (same spot from the previous match) with Kong putting Brandi’s foot on the ropes for the save. The distraction doesn’t quite work as Allie grabs a dragon sleeper, so Kong offers another distraction, meaning the referee doesn’t see the tap. Allie lets go and Brandi hits the Bionic Spear (with the announcers mentioning that it’s because she has a plate in her shoulder, thank goodness) for the pin at 10:16.

Rating: C-. Not terrible at all here with Brandi’s pre-match vignette making the Kong factor that much better. Brandi isn’t the most polished wrestler in the world but she isn’t embarrassing herself whatsoever, which is all you can ask for from someone in her position. This was the storyline part of the division and I’m glad they’re keeping that away from the wrestling part on the preshow.

Post match Kong goes after Allie and loads up the Implant Buster, drawing out Aja Kong for the save. Awesome Kong backs away from the staredown and Aja helps Allie up.

The announcers have a rather nice talk about the brothers vs. brothers match.

Dark Order vs. Angelico/Jack Evans vs. Jungle Boy/Luchasaurus

The winners get a shot at a bye at All Out. The Dark Order have the Creepers (JR: “Jeepers!”) but they go to the back before the bell. Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus have Marko Stunt with them and you can hear Jim Cornette losing it from here. Grayson drives Evans into the corner to start and snaps off a northern lights suplex to keep Evans in trouble. Angelico comes in and hammers at the jaw but gets dropkicked in the face for his efforts.

It’s Uno coming in to bite Angelico’s ear so Jungle Boy comes in for an Arabian armdrag. A neckbreaker gets Uno out of trouble but he stops to pose, allowing the tag to Luchasaurus for the monster staredown. Uno tags Angelico, who tags Evans from the apron. Evans fires himself up and is chopped right back down, followed by the big toss from Luchasaurus. A nasty wheelbarrow suplex sends Evans flying and Jungle Boy knees him into the Order’s corner.

Grayson comes in and shoves Jungle Boy into the ropes with Uno low bridging him to the floor. Back in and the Order stomp on Jungle Boy in the corner with JR wanting the referee to get involved. Jungle Boy fights back but Grayson is right there to pull Angelico and Evans off the apron. Uno’s top rope backsplash gets two but Jungle Boy is right there with a slingshot spear. The hot tag brings in Luchasaurus to kick away at the Order and chokeslam Evans over the top onto Angelico. Jungle Boy adds a shooting star onto the pile and the Tombstone Age (reverse powerbomb) gets two on Grayson.

Angelico and Evans get back in with a springboard double stomp/belly to back suplex combination for two on Jungle Boy. The assisted 450 gets the same and there’s a Razor’s Edge buckle bomb to make it even worse. Marko breaks up the 630 though and hits a super hurricanrana, with the referee ejecting Marko as a result.

Instead of leaving, Luchasaurus launches Marko onto Angelico in a huge crash. Grayson is flipped into a powerbomb from Jungle Boy (cool finisher) for two with Uno making the save. Jungle Boy gets suplexed into Luchasaurus in the corner and Fatality (Gory Bomb/Diamond Dust combination) gives Uno the pin at 15:13.

Rating: C+. This went a little longer than it needed to and Angelico and Evans could have been cut without losing much. Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy is an oddball team but the big man/small man combination has worked for years and it can work well for them too. If nothing else, the more Luchasaurus I see the happier I am, though the same isn’t the case with the Dark Order, who didn’t really stand out aside from an awesome finisher.

Video on Adam Page, who seems to be the chosen one.

Adam Page vs. Kip Sabian

Feeling out process to start with Page grabbing a headlock and hitting a hard shoulder to put Kip down. Some chops have Sabian in more trouble and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Page seems to have tweaked his leg or knee though, allowing Sabian to springboard enziguri him down to the floor. The dive is blocked with a forearm though and a tabletop suplex gives Page two.

Sabian knocks him outside and gets in an argument with a fan, though Page can’t make a comeback. The springboard missile dropkick gives Sabian two and it’s off to a half nelson. Page fights up and hits an overhead belly to belly with Sabian bouncing on his head. They’re both down until Sabian is back up with a middle rope DDT for two and a knee to the face. The slugout goes to Page though and a discus lariat turns Sabian inside out.

Back up and Sabian misses a stomp, allowing Page to belly to back suplex him onto the apron. Page hits a moonsault out to the floor but there goes the knee, with Page writhing in pain. The knee is fine enough for Page to hit a toss powerbomb to send Sabian over the top and onto the ramp for a heck of a crash.

Sabian slowly rolls back in to beat the count so Page takes him up top for a super swinging neckbreaker and another near fall. The Deadeye is broken up and Sabian bends the knee around the middle rope to put them both down as we have less than two minutes left. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence but Page reverses a sunset flip into the Deadeye for the pin at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Knee selling issues aside, Page looked like a star here as he came back from behind and won in the end with his finisher. Sabian looked great as well and that’s a very nice bonus in a match designed to make Page look like a star. It was good stuff and Page gets another win, so mission accomplished.

So Cal Uncensored vs. Lucha Bros

It’s Scorpio Sky/Kazarian for SCU here and we get their usual shtick before the match. Kazarian and Fenix start things off with the partners coming in early on for the big standoff. That means a double tag to Pentagon vs. Sky as the fans are split down the middle again. They stare each other down and pose a lot until Pentagon takes off the glove and throws it to the referee….who drops it. No worries though as she throws it back and tries again, this time for a catch.

The chop means it’s time to head to the floor as everything breaks down again, with Christopher Daniels taking one of the loudest chops I can remember in recent memory. Sky gets one of his own and the cringing is real with this one. Fenix misses a dive onto Daniels and hits his brother by mistake, leaving Daniels to hit an Arabian moonsault onto the floor. Daniels gets ejected (thank you) and it’s Fenix being taken back inside for an assisted wheelbarrow bomb from SCU.

Kazarian’s legdrop gets two and it’s back to Sky as Fenix is in trouble off a front facelock. Fenix manages to fight up and hit a pair of kicks Kazarian’s face, allowing the hot tag off to Pentagon. Sling Blades abound as everything breaks down, including more kicks to SCU’s heads. Kazarian is sat in the corner as Sky is tied in the Tree of Woe, allowing Fenix to flip Pentagon into the two of them at once.

Fenix and Kazarian head outside as Pentagon gets two on Sky. Everyone gets back inside with a top rope double stomp/Unprettier combination getting two on Pentagon. Not to be outdone, an assisted super DDT gets two on Fenix. Back up and Fenix rope walks into a double stomp to Sky’s back, followed by the Canadian Destroyer to give Pentagon two more. The double stomp/Fear Factor finishes Sky at 15:00.

Rating: B. This is the wild kind of tag match that the company seems to focus on. There’s nothing wrong with that either as the tag division has been one of the highlights of the first three shows. The Lucha Bros are one of the best teams around too so giving them their first win makes a lot of sense. I’m sure So Cal Uncensored is going to be fine in short order.

Post match Daniels comes back out but the Bros pull out a ladder to clean house. Pentagon grabs the mic and says they’re the best team in the world. As for the ladder, how about a rematch with the Young Bucks in a ladder match at All Out?

Kenny Omega vs. Cima

Feeling out process to start with an early armbar attempt sending Omega to the ropes. Omega’s sunset flip is broken up and Cima nails a double stomp to keep Omega in trouble early on. Something like a reverse Rings of Saturn has Omega reaching for the ropes again and things reset again. Omega hits a hard chop and a belly to back suplex for two and a hurricanrana puts Cima on the floor.

Cima dives back in and kicks Omega in the face to break up a dive attempt and a Perfect Driver gets two. A knee to the face rocks Cima though and Omega takes him up top. The super Snap Dragon is broken up as Cima climbs into an electric chair but spins down into a super sunset bomb to send Omega crashing. Omega is back up and goes for the leg with a kick to the thigh before stomping on it in the corner. A Regal Roll looks to set up a middle rope moonsault but Cima gets the knees up.

The regular Snap Dragon connects though but the One Winged Angle is broken up. That means a Backstabber to Omega and they’re both down again. It’s Cima up first with a dropkick to put Omega on the floor, where he pulls Cima down by the leg again. Omega goes over to the timekeeper’s table but Cima rams him into it, setting up a Meteora off the balcony to crush Omega.

They get back in as the fans keep booing and cheering as the big screen goes in and out. Back in and a pair of springboard Meteoras give Cima two but his super Codebreaker is countered into a buckle bomb. The V Trigger connects for two and it’s a second V Trigger to set up another failed One Winged Angel attempt. Cima rolls out of a powerbomb into a DDT, followed by another Meteora (and I thought the V Trigger was bad).

They head to the apron with Cima planting him down hard, drawing a YOU KILLED KENNY chant. Yet another Meteora gets yet another two and they strike it out again. Omega hits another V Trigger into the Tiger Driver 98 for two of his own. There’s another V Trigger (JR: “I could have sworn that was a knee to the head.”) and the One Winged Angel finishes Cima at 22:35.

Rating: B. They hit a lot of V Triggers (“But that makes sense for Omega!”) and a lot of Meteoras (“But that makes sense for Cima!”) and it was a hard hitting match, though it felt longer than it needed to be, which is a trend tonight. Omega continues to be the really awesome junk food of wrestling: the matches might not be the best constructed or highest quality, but dang they’re fun to watch.

Here’s Chris Jericho for his open mic promo. Jericho talks about having Page’s blood on his hands and asks if we can see it. He’s still looking for a thank you, but not from the fans here in Jerksonville. Jericho knows that the thank yous from the people here don’t matter so he’s going to get it every night by beating up the fans’ heroes one at a time. All Elite Wrestling is taking place because of him, including the TV show on TNT in October. Jericho watched the battle royal at Double Or Nothing very carefully and counted down the entrants until only Hangman Page was left.

Ever since then, Jericho has been sitting up worrying about facing the Hangman, but he’ll beat him for sure. That’s just another victory for the greatest of all time, but if he loses….it’s the beginning of the end of AEW and of Jericho’s career. Therefore, he has to beat the Hangman. Cue Page for the brawl with referees breaking it up. Page’s eye looks very nasty from earlier.

We recap the Young Bucks vs. Cody/Dustin Rhodes with Tony Schiavone and Jake Roberts of all people talking about how important it is and how the fans want to see it. That’s quite the interesting pair.

Cody/Dustin Rhodes vs. Young Bucks

Cody and Nick start things off with Nick kicking his hand away. Everything teases breaking down before Cody goes with a headlock to bring Nick over to Dustin. Now everything breaks down with Matt being knocked outside off a double clothesline. Back in and the Bucks start their double teaming, including a headscissors to Cody to set up an enziguri. Stereo dives to the floor drop Cody and Dustin and we get a mock hug.

We settle down to Matt working on Dustin’s arm and Nick adding the slingshot X Factor. A boot scrape lets Matt come back in for some shoulders in the corner, followed by a double dropkick. Nick pulls Cody off of the apron and teases taking the tag from Goldust, who does in fact tag him with a shot to the jaw. The distraction lets Goldust go up top for a spinning crossbody to both Bucks and NOW we get the hot tag to Cody.

That means a top rope moonsault of his own to Nick and a dive onto the ramp to take Matt down as well. It’s time for the weightlifting belt to Matt’s back, followed by a missed charge to send Matt shoulder first into the post. Dustin starts in on the arm with an armbar and a whip into the corner as this is dragging a good bit. Another whip sends Matt into the post again and it’s time to go to the floor for a whip into the barricade.

Back in and the Fujiwara armbar goes on but Matt finally fights up and brings in Nick to clean house. The clothesline/bulldog combination takes Cody and Dustin down, followed by a Backstabber out of the corner to Cody. The Bucks go with double sunset flips into a double Sharpshooter, which is broken up for a double Figure Four. That’s broken up with some rope grabs and quadruple lariats give us a four way knockdown. Fans: “THIS IS WRESTLING!” No. This is long and needs to end so JR and Dustin can go to bed.

Dustin gets up for some powerslams and an assisted Cross Rhodes plants Nick. Matt dives in for the save and it’s time for a double slugout. Double powerslams take the Bucks down again and the ref gets bumped at the same time. Stereo Shattered Dreams take the Bucks down for two each with the Bucks rolling outside.

Cody’s springboard dive is superkicked out of the air, leaving Dustin to hit some Flip Flop and Fly. Another superkick drops Dustin but he’s right back up with a Code Red for two. Cody comes back in and it’s a double superkick to the back of the head for two more. More superkicks connect so Nick can hit Cross Rhodes for two on Cody. The Meltzer Driver hits Cody for the pin at 31:34.

Rating: C-. This was a match that is going to be praised for how long it went but that’s all it was. It wasn’t bad, but there were far too many moments where I was looking at the clock and sighing because this just wouldn’t end. You could have easily cut ten or so minutes out of it and still had the same match, including the long arm work in the middle. Dustin and Cody just losing is a bit anticlimactic, but you knew the Bucks were the heavy favorites coming into this one.

Cody doesn’t know if they’re still on the air but you can’t counter program what AEW is doing. You can counter program some of them but you can’t counter program the love in this company. Kenny talks about how cool it is to make this kind of a donation but there is a bit of a conundrum. His signature line doesn’t seem appropriate right now, partially because it ends with him poking a finger gun in the air. Instead it’s adieu, but since we’re off the air, we’ll change it from BANG to BOING. JR can be heard asking if they’re clear as Kenny thanks the fans for coming out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good and the energy was high but this went WAY too long and it took away a lot of the positives about the show. That main event and the post match stuff were major hits to the evening and it didn’t do them any favors. It’s still an entertaining show, but for the first time I was thinking about how long it was and that’s not a good sign. These timing issues aren’t going to work on TNT and they need to fix them before we get there. Not a bad show by any means, but they have a lot of tightening up to do.

Results

Shawn Spears/Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Sammy Guevara b. Darby Allin/Jimmy Havoc/Joey Janela – Running Death Valley Driver to Allin

Brandi Rhodes b. Allie – Bionic Spear

Dark Order b. Luchasaurus/Jungle Boy and Angelico/Jack Evans – Fatality to Jungle Boy

Adam Page b. Kip Sabian – Deadeye

Lucha Bros b. So Cal Uncensored – Spike Fear Factor to Sky

Kenny Omega b. Cima – One Winged Angel

Young Bucks b. Cody/Dustin Rhodes – Meltzer Driver to Cody

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.

Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.

Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.

Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Demolition yells a lot.

Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.

Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.

WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.

Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B

Redo: D+

Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Original: A+

Redo: B

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan vs. Orient Express

Original: D+

Redo: N/A

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: C+

Nostalgia is a powerful drug.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/12/summerslam-1990/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the first PPV that I ever had bought for me and we literally went through three copies of it as the tape itself was literally falling apart. As far as updates go, a few things have happened since we were last around for Summerslam. Ventura is gone which kind of sucks. For once, and this was very rare back then, Vince is handling commentary tonight.

Warrior won the title at Mania, having dropped the IC belt down to no one but Perfect won it in a tournament, becoming one of the best IC Champions of all time. Hogan has been out of action all summer after Earthquake beat him up, and tonight is his triumphant return to face the big man. Warrior is having a token title defense against Rude in a cage, in what would be Rude’s last match with the company before taking a year off before debuting as the Halloween Phantom in WCW a year later.

Finally, and this is actually the most important thing you’ll see, a mysterious person has been sending Sapphire very expensive gifts. It would turn out to be DiBiase, who would begin to feud with Rhodes, leading to November’s Survivor Series. At that show, DiBiase would bring in a mystery partner, who was from Death Valley. It blows my mind to think that matches this old were two months before his debut. He might have even been on some house shows at this point.  Let’s get to it.

Anyway, this show is going to have a lot of high grades for pure nostalgia for me, so expect a high overall rating as I know about half the commentary for the show despite having watched it once in about 15 years.

Before the show starts, the version I have comes with a bonus promo from Warrior, standing behind a cage wall. There’s no ring or other three walls. It’s just a single wall of a cage that the belt is handing from. Well of course he’s got a piece of a steel cage!

Don’t you have one sitting in your living room? Standard Warrior insanity here as the big deal was supposed to be that Rude has been in cage matches before but Warrior never has. Does anyone remember Rude in a cage match that meant anything?

In something completely random that’s an exclusive, we get Brother Love’s Summerslam picks. This is very weird as Gene says you can make your picks now, for the MONDAY night showing of Summerslam. Yes, back then, PPVs weren’t always on Mondays. On my tape (homemade), this is AFTER the IC Title match, which is weird because he makes a pick for that match. I put this here because it makes more sense here, but I don’t remember this at all.

It’s billed as a double main event, but it’s Hogan as the centerpiece as usual. Roddy on commentary is just weird but kind of cool at the same time, aside from his anti-Iraq line in the first 15 seconds. This is getting annoying as I’m quoting everything both guys are saying.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Shawn is legit hurt coming into this as you can see him limping to the ring. They play on that by having Hercules (Power) hit him in the knee with the chain, making this a handicap match. We start with Paul Roma (Glory, and somehow a future Horseman) against Jannetty. It’s a handicap match which is all it can be. They touch on Shawn’s knee injury as they knew about it coming in so they pretty much had to keep this short.

Almost a third of the match is the brawl where Shawn’s knee is hurt and then the rest is Jannetty fighting for all he’s worth, even hitting the top rope punch at one point. However, he of course falls to the suplex/splash combination and gets pinned rather easily. Shawn gets in after the match is over and they beat on him even more. He of course acts like he’s been shot and caught in a bear trap as he’s put on a stretcher and is carted out.

Rating: B-. Absolutely perfect for an opener. This was all over the place and you had to pay attention to keep up with it. It was fast, in your face, and not bad at all. While for a regular match it would have been horrible, the crowd was hot as always being a Philly crowd, and this got them very awake.

Now the IC Title match is up next and it was supposed to be Beefcake winning the belt from Perfect, but he had the famous parasailing accident that pretty much ended his career. That wasn’t mentioned but it was the case. Anyway, this rookie named The Texas Tornado, Kerry Von Erich took Beefcake’s place and he’s getting the match on about a week’s notice.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Before the match we get promos from both, with Perfect saying he’s perfect. Now we move on to Tornado’s promo, and for some reason I have always loved this one. There’s not much to it, but it just is great to me for some reason. He talks about how he’s going to touch down in the ring and destroy everything in his path, then take the IC title back into the clouds. Something about this is just sweet to me.

Maybe it’s that Von Erich was an amazing talent that sadly would be dead in three years. There’s a somewhat infamous glitch here as Hennig is wearing yellow and Von Erich is wearing yellow in his promo. However, when he comes to the ring he’s wearing white, so I guess they had him change in between. His music is completely awesome too. Yes, I think I’m a Von Erich mark. He’s even rocking the old school sequin robes.

You can tell they made a quick switch as he still had the yellow knee pads on. The crowd here is so ridiculously hot it’s hard to believe. The match itself is actually pretty short and very standard stuff. The crowd being as into it as they are and Hennig’s mind blowingly good selling makes it work though.

He gets Kerry in the corner and slaps him a bunch of times before Von Erich goes off on him, landing a slingshot into the corner which busts his head on the post. Claw hold and Tornado Punch follow for a title change! Afterwards, Hennig falls out of the ring (likely legitimately drunk) and Tornado celebrates as Piper makes fun of him.

Rating: B. This was just pure fun. Perfect was so hated it was unbelievable and Tornado had the skills already that he could make it look good too. That’s the beauty of bringing in a guy from a glorified indy fed: there’s no learning curve. He didn’t have to spend time working with no name guys and you could throw him into the fire, knowing you’d get something good. Great way to put him over here, and it worked like a charm.

Gene is supposed to talk to Sapphire but she’s nowhere in sign. I smell a show wide angle! Heenan runs in to complain about the Tornado breaking rules. Perfect and Hennan’s freaking out is absolutely great. He really did go insane as well as anyone ever did.

Sensational Sherri vs. Sapphire

Oh lord this isn’t going to be good. Sherri is at least good in the ring, but Sapphire? DANG , I saw one of her matches and it made Jackie vs. Trish from Raw in 03 look good (Yes I know it was a tag match so save your corrections). Sherri is in a mask and paint. I guess there’s a point to that. Sapphire doesn’t come out. The music starts again and a third time and no big fat blue rock. Sherri wins by count out. This was purely a way to play to the major angle later on.

Rating: N/A.

Dusty is in the back with Gene saying that something strange is going on. When I was a kid this always gave me chills. In a completely random cameo that becomes unintentional comedy, Dusty calls over Hacksaw Jim Duggan and asks if they’ve seen her. He says no but they’re still looking. Duggan leaves.

He’s on screen all of 6 seconds but it’s just so random that it made me laugh. Dusty talks about the gifts she’s been getting, which are ridiculously expensive. Somehow no one picked up on the fact that DiBiase hadn’t been seen in awhile and only he could afford this. Dusty really is great on the mic. There’s something about his delivery that just flows perfectly.

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

If there has ever been a guy that had all kinds of opportunities thrown to him but just never could pull it off, it’s Warlord. He had an awesome build, a great look, a cool name and he got multiple mini pushes. I think the problem might have been he was too different looking. Maybe it’s that he wasn’t great in the ring. For some reason though, nothing ever worked for him. He wasn’t lazy or annoying or anything like that.

Simply put, he just never caught on. He was a generic big man with muscles, and I’ve never really understood why he didn’t get at least a bit of a reaction. At the time, Tito was a complete and total jobber to the stars. He was in the middle of nothing at the time and was just out there to make people like Warlord look good. Santana would become El Matador soon and it would kind of revitalize his career but not that much.

He was always good for a solid performance though, so it was clear why he stayed around as long as he did. I think I’m starting to get why Warlord never did anything: he’s the most generic guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life as a fan. There is nothing about anything he does that stands out. There’s nothing of note here really, as Santana tries as hard as he can but Warlord hits the powerslam to win the match in the end.

Rating: C+. This is quite acceptable on all levels. It was meant to make Warlord look good and that’s what Santana did. That’s why people like Finlay and Regal have jobs: they can make young guns look good and be realistic threats at the same time. Talents like them are hard to come by which is why they rarely get let go.

Demolition is in the back, and Mooney is confused about why Crush is there. The idea is that the Harts don’t know which two members of Demolition they’re facing. Apparently it’s Smash and Crush tonight. At the time, Demolition is considered untouchable and while the Harts were known to be great, they were thought to be past their primes at this point and only together in name.

You know, they’re actually quite funny on the mics. They tease the showdown with the Legion of Doom, and my god, the collective orgasms that 80s wrestling fans would have had for that match at Mania for the belts would have flooded a small country.

Tag Titles: 2/3 Falls-Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

Norcal and I have called this the greatest tag team match of all time, and I’m still waiting on another to top it. It’s certainly the best gimmick tag match of all time, at least in my mind. Before the match, the Harts say they don’t care which members of Demolition they face. Anvil says he’s not paid to think. He’s paid to be tough like an anvil. That’s a great line.

As they give the promo about giving Demolition massive heart attacks, I’m watching CNN’s coverage of Michael Jackson’s heart attack, which kind of kills the mood. DANG the Harts were over. I’m getting chills watching this. We go about 4 seconds of Smash and Bret before we get a brawl. Anvil comes in and just levels them both, leading to Roddy asking Vince how he would like it if a guy like Anvil came up to him and asked for a date with his daughter.

That’s quite funny considering who Vince’s daughter would become to us. Imagine Neidhart getting the HHH hate. That would be freaking hilarious. I swear his beard has magical powers. Roddy is OUT THERE on commentary. Crush hits a big move and looks at the crowd. Roddy: “We ain’t looking for dairy products here, we’re fighting!” What in the world does that mean? Am I missing a joke here or something?

This match has one of the best flows to it that I’ve ever seen. For the most part, it’s back and forth the whole way with neither team ever truly dominating the other. That’s a very difficult thing to do but when it’s done right, you have a great match. Hart is still the best guy out there, but it’s not like he’s blowing them all away. Demolition were a great team even with the change of Crush, and Neidhart it the absolute perfect complement to Bret.

It’s power and speed vs. a lot pf power, which is a great combination as always. Eventually of course we get a brawl, leading to Jim being knocked to the floor and Bret taking Demolition’s finisher for the first fall. This is what I don’t like about 2/3 falls matches. Demolition just pinned the Harts clean, in a standard tag match, yet the Harts get two more chances at it? I get the stipulation changed the way the match works, but that’s always made me scratch my head.

We begin the second fall with Crush and Hart again, just like the end of the last one, as Hart sells like the master that he is. Piper says that Hart needs to get under his feet. Wouldn’t that mean having your feet in the air and sitting down?

The style of this fall is completely different as it’s Hart getting beaten down instead of a back and forth match, which works very well for psychology, as we get a great flow to the match, using Demolition’s finisher as the turning point of the match. Anvil finally gets a tag and just freaking kills Demolition. Easily the best I’ve ever seen him look as at that moment, he looked like he could have beaten just about anyone.

Bret gets back into it and the Hart Attack connects, but Crush, after missing his cue and having the referee save him, dives onto the referee, before picking him up and carrying him around the ring, which causes a DQ. DANG , after that kind of a save and he jumps the referee? Someone get that man a hot pretzel and a ham sandwich. He’s earned them. Crush should get a sandwich as well.

He was just giving the nice little man a hug for saving him on the blown spot. Shame the referee won’t open up his heart and let a little love in. The best part of this is Crush shaking his head, as if to say what did I do? It’s either bad acting or unintentional comedy, but either way it’s funny.

In between falls, Bret gets knocked to the floor. As Jim is looking at him, Ax comes down and hides under the ring. Now we get to the fun parts of this match, which is saying something as this has been great stuff so far.

So here we are now, one fall to a finish for the tag titles. We get down to a good old fashioned 80s style tag match and there’s absolutely nothing sweeter than this. It’s the Harts in control early with their powerslam/splash move, which despite having been used many times is still surprising to Vince. Geez how bad is this guy’s memory? He can’t remember how bad a lot of the stuff he puts on now is and he couldn’t remember stuff 19 years ago?

Anyway, Ax comes out from under the ring for the illegal switch and the Harts are in trouble all over again. Wow, who saw that coming? Did anyone ever have an issue telling Demolition apart? I certainly didn’t. Anvil keeps making save after save as Bret is looking like a human punching bag. As all this is happening, the fans are getting loud for some reason, and as we cut to the entry way, we see why: the most dominant team of all time, the LOD are here!

They pull Smash out from underneath the ring and break up another Demolisher (I know that’s not the name but screw it that’s what it should be called), leading to a slingshot shoulder block into a rollup to give the Harts the titles as the fans go nuts! The best part here is the Harts’ music not playing.

It makes you feel like it was a great shock and that the sound guy wasn’t sitting there waiting to press a button. I’ve always liked how Bret would kiss whatever belt he had at the time. It’s recaps a go-go as the music plays and the fans are going off.

Rating: A+. The fans wanted the Harts to win, they wanted Demolition to lose, and they got it in a SWEET style. This was a great tag match with all 5 guys in perfect flow the whole time. The Harts were the underdogs that we all wanted to cheer for and we got to do it. That’s exactly what the fans wanted and it made the fans happy. Couple that with GREAT wrestling and drama and you get a classic match. Norcal and I are right: this is the best tag team match ever, just for how much fun it is.

Promo for WM 7. My lord they messed this up. There were supposed to be 100,000 people. Naturally, this didn’t happen, so there was a bogus excuse to move the show to a smaller place. I love the promo though and could recite the phone number to you by heart.

The LOD are in the back, saying they still want a piece of Demolition, saying they’re the real big men. The Harts show up saying they’ll fight anyone. The emotion in their voices and the looks on their faces are absolutely perfect.

We go to Sean Mooney who is outside Demolition’s locker room, and he says all heck is breaking loose. I certainly don’t remember this much cursing on a 1990 PPV. I’m quite surprised at this. Apparently they’re mad at the LOD.

Gene is with Sherri, who is so proud of winning, and says she’s been hearing rumors about Sapphire.

Sean Mooney (DANG what are these backstage interviewers getting paid tonight?) is with Volkoff and Duggan, who are a tag team for no good reason. They’re going to win tonight apparently. We get a really bad pun about if their opponents are the Orient Express, this is the American Express, and don’t leave home without them. Dear lord just take me now.

Earthquake and Bravo are with the other interviewer along with Jimmy Hart. It’s a recap of the feud with Hogan and Quake.

Jake talks about snakes vs. rats.  While he’s doing this Damien the snake keeps wrapping around his neck and choking him.  To his credit Jake never stops talking.  This is about hunger or something.
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Brown allegedly has over 200lbs of sewer rats but we never see them which is a good thing probably.  Yep Jake appears to be drunk.  Oh and Big Boss Man is the special referee.  No reason at all for it but who cares about logic?  Brown jumps him as the referee is on his way to the ring.  Brown takes over and goes for a cover with his foot on the chest.

Both guys go for their finishers which of course don’t connect this early on.  Brown grabs a chair and drills Jake in the stomach with it in front of Boss Man which is all cool apparently.  Jake gets sent into the corner and flashes a screw you sign as he goes down.  Classy dude there.  Brown goes for a middle rope punch but Jake gets out of the way.

Brown’s offense is different but cool.  Piper says something about oily heads and Arabs which Vince naturally ignores.  Brown pops him with the chair again and that’s the DQ.  That was rather anti-climactic but whatever.  He tries to drop a leg on Damien afterwards but Boss Man makes the save.  Roddy: you don’t want to hiss off any snakes.  Brown jumps him and Jake gets the snake out to run him off.

Rating: C-. This was fine and the fans popped for the DDT as always. For the life of me though, I don’t get why there needed to be a guest referee. He was going to be in the real main event later on, so what’s the point of having him here?

Gene is with Demolition, who says the Harts cheated. For the love of god, how did we never get Demolition vs. LOD? Seriously, this had to be the easiest lay up of a feud of all time, and we never got it.

Brother Love Show

There’s little point here. Love gets a medal from Sgt. Slaughter as we officially kick off he’s the next top heel in the Iraqi sympathizer angle that few cared about but some will say gave you one of the best Mania main events ever. He runs down Volkoff, which would lead to a match…in February I believe. This was just an odd angle that didn’t work for me due to the timing of it, as the war was over when this really got going.

Sean is with the Orient Express and Fuji who say Japan will win. This team was pretty much nothing until the masked one showed up and they started going to war with the Rockers. Those matches were freaking awesome to say the least.

Gene finds Sapphire but she goes into a locker room. She won’t talk to anyone.

Orient Express vs. Duggan/Voljoff

Pure filler here as there’s no point to this other than to further the US vs. Iraq storyline. The faces sing God Bless America as my ears bleed a bit. Duggan proves to be a patriot as this was what he’d always hit Nikolai for when it was the Soviet anthem. Now for your pop of the night (so far) Duggan says bless the troops in the Middle East. This is a very, and I do mean very, basic tag match as Volkoff gets beaten up and Duggan makes the big save after the tag and gets the pin off the three point clothesline.

Rating: D+. It was just so bland that it wasn’t any good. It was pure filler and nothing of note happens here. It wasn’t bad, just completely unnecessary.

Dusty is pounding on the door Sapphire went through but she won’t come out. He has to go to his match but he’s going to get to the bottom of this tonight.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Savage is the king at this point so he’s feuding with the Common Man, Dusty Rhodes. That’s a perfect feud for both so for once they got something very right. Rhodes’ music is just awesome. He power walks to the ring as the man chest is bouncing big time tonight. Mooney is in the back standing on a ladder to talk to Savage who is on the throne. He also talks about the rumors that are going around which he still won’t reveal.

He does say that Sapphire is smart for not wanting to spend her life with a common man. Were Sapphire and Dusty supposed to be a couple? I never quite got that. Savage comes out on the throne.  I’ve always loved that entrance. How cool does it look? Savage fit this persona so well because he could back it up in the ring which isn’t something most kings could do. Savage was just so great back then.

Pomp and Circumstance fits the king gimmick so well too. Perfect match all around for him. Right as Savage gets in, you hear the best laugh of all time as DiBiase is on the stage, saying he’s going to prove everyone has a price.

Of course he’s the guy that’s been buying Sapphire everything and he puts it perfectly: “Who but the Million Dollar Man could afford to do it?” At the same time, everyone says a collective DUH! This is pure evil here and it supports my claim that he’s the greatest heel of all time. Sapphire comes out and takes a bag of money. Rhodes chases them but Savage stops him.

The match itself is about 2 minutes long and there’s nothing worth talking about. Savage starts in control, Rhodes fights back but doesn’t have the fire to do anything. However, Piper does mention that Sapphire didn’t want to be married to a common man all her life, so at least that’s some clarification. Sherri interferes and Rhodes takes a loaded purse to the head to end it.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t about the match and at two minutes it’s not fair to give it a grade. For the angle, easy A though as this was just basic heel vs. face stuff, but given the performers, it was great.

Sean is in the garage as I wonder what kind of running shoes he has because he could be the fastest man on the planet given the exercise he’s had tonight. Virgil, DiBiase and Sapphire get into the limousine and leave as Rhodes chases them. Ok more like wobbles after them, but he goes down the driveway after them. However, he can’t catch them and I always got very sad about this. It was depressing to see him lose everything he had. In retrospect, this was a great angle.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Quake comes to the ring with no real build. That’s rare to see anymore and I really like the way they’re doing it this way. After the heels are in the ring, Hogan and Boss Man are with Okerlund. Hogan says this is for Tugboat, who was the reason Hogan got the support that he did. Boss Man says the heels have the right to be served justice by Judge Hogan. Hogan compares himself to Washington and the Boss Man is Jefferson and it’s time to go!

Boss Man comes out first and the pop is so loud you can barely hear his music. For the love of goodness how loud is Hogan’s going to be? Yep, I’m deaf now. The roof gets blown off and you literally can’t understand what Fink says after Hogan comes through the curtain. All the standard Hogan stuff before we get going and the fans are so hot it’s insane. The wide shot here is awesome as it’s that little yellow thing that is causing the explosion.

Hogan should change his theme to Pac Man’s song. It’s the same idea: a yellow thing that is all over the place and at certain points is completely invincible. Sounds like it to me. Anyway, we get the bell and we’re up and running. They trade power displays and despite Hogan being announced at 302lbs, Vince thinks he’s at about 287, even though he looks exactly the same as he always has, if not a bit fat.

Very soon the two outside guys get involved and both should causes disqualifications but the referee lets it go for no apparent reason. Hogan, like an idiot, goes for a slam. Now he knows better than that. He’s WAY too healthy to do something like that. Why would he think he can do something that doesn’t go against any human sense? Come on Hulk you’re smarter than that. Wow I just said Hogan was smart. I’m working too hard I think.

Quake does a weird sequence where he goes to the top and then puts on a Boston Crab. More interference follows of course, leading to a Hogan comeback. Once again he goes for a slam and it doesn’t work, leading to the true signature Hogan match move: the sleepy hug! It must be sleepy since it needs so much rest. For some reason Hogan tries to grab at the referee and he rips his shirt. I don’t want to see Earl Hebner’s stomach, I truly don’t.

Hogan goes for a freaking cross body. Think about that for a second. That’s just weird to type let alone actually watch. Of course Hogan takes two Earthquakes before the power kickout. I love the way Earthquake hits the ropes. He just leans into them and it’s either great or lazy and I’m not sure which. Do I even need to explain what happens here?

Bravo gets the referee to prevent the pin after the leg drop though, allowing the true star of the match, the man that’s involved with Wrestleicious (ooo Wrestleicious baby!) to interfere before getting beaten up as well. At this point, it occurs to me that he and Hogan are the only two wrestlers involved in this match that are still alive. That’s a very sad thing to think of. Earthquake gets Hart thrown at him, which knocks him down.

So wait, Hogan jumping at him is an easy catch, but Hart knocks him down? Piper’s cheering for Hogan cracks me up as only in pro wrestling could you go from the feud they had to this kind of cheering in just a few years. On the floor, Hogan, in Phila-freaking-delphia of all places, slams Earthquake onto a table. This was over three years before Heyman even got to that city. I’m not even sure if Eastern Championship Wrestling was around yet.

The table doesn’t break and just falls over, but I wonder if this is what inspired ECW. There must be something in the water in that city. Seriously, what’s with the tables thing there? Anyway, Hogan wins by count out before jumping in the air like the end of a bad 80s movie. Come on now; give me some bad pop song as the shot freezes with him in the air pumping his fist. If that happened, I might have died of pure laughter. Post match…come on.

What do you think happens after the match? Actually, it’s not the most obvious answer. Quake completely no sells everything that’s just been done to him as he hits Hogan a few times and chokes him with Hogan lifted off the mat. Boss Man grabs a…I guess that’s supposed to be a chair but it looks more like a small ladder and blasts Quake a few times with it to no result.

The spinning of the nightstick of DOOM gets rid of the heels though so we can have our traditional music and posing. What made this posing thing so cool? It’s just him standing there showing off his muscles, which was odd because there were guys with bigger muscles in the company. I guess it’s just that Hogan is who he is and gets cheers for whatever he does. He could even put on a tutu and dance and it would get high ratings.

Scratch that as Mr. Nanny bombed. Hogan dances around the ring like a chicken which is something that’s going to haunt my dreams for a long, long time. As he poses Boss Man, who also was Hogan’s mortal enemy about a year ago, kind of strolls around the ring doing nothing. Piper reaffirms my faith in him as he says it was a hollow victory and that Boss Man deserves a lot of the credit.

Now I feel better as that’s the Piper I know and love. He’s right too. What did Hogan really prove? That along with another guy he can win with a count out and not get a pin like he normally would? Yeah that’s certainly a great victory.

Rating: B+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a chance for the fans to lose their minds over Hogan. It left the door open for the rematch later with Hogan having no rust so he can beat Quake on an even playing field, but that never came at least not on PPV. This definitely should have gone on last though as there’s no doubt that this is the real main event. I remember when I was a kid I hardly ever watched the cage match after this as it just didn’t mean anything to me.

Granted I wasn’t ever much of a Warrior guy after he stole my hero’s title back in April. Anyway, this was a very fun match but from a technical standpoint, kind of sloppy, which given who’s in this, what were you expecting? Fine all around though, so this was a very solid match.

We cut to the back and see Rude with Heenan and Mooney. Rude cuts a very good promo talking about how Rocky Balboa and life imitating art. This is either off a script or great. Heenan is clearly ad-libbing, but Rude I’m not sure on.

Rhodes is here now, talking about chasing down Sapphire but not being able to catch up to her. This is a great promo, talking about how he’s been crushed and he’s only got the fans left to shelter him. This is 80s style at its best. The more promos I hear from Dusty, the more impressed I am by him.

We cut again down to Lord Alfred Hayes, who is in front of the cage that is being built and talking about how the crew is trying to break their record for building a cage, which is kind of interesting but the only thing I can think of is who gives a about the cage being built? It’s kind of different and therefore kind of cool I guess. They talk about the way the cage is put together and the weight and dimensions. That’s actually quite cool.

We go BACK to Gene, who is talking with Hulk. I miss the interview centers at PPVs. Hogan is so juiced here it’s amazing. This is a promo that makes so little sense I don’t know where to start. Hogan beat Earthquake. Ok, that’s fine. However, he says he want to be #1 contender to the WWF Title. Again, nothing weird so far. He then says that if he’s not the #1 contender yet, he’ll beat Earthquake as many times as it takes until he’s the #1 contender.

What kind of sense does that make? If that’s the case, why not get Brooklyn Brawler and beat him 1000x until you’re named #1 contender? Hogan’s promos sometimes made less sense than Warrior’s. Also, he debuts the 4th demandment: Believe in yourself. He’s getting a new surfboard too. Hogan surfing is just funny.

Roddy and Vince kill more time, talking about the cage match as Roddy actually picks Rude to win it.

We cut to the back with Earthquake, Bravo and Hart screaming at Hogan and Bossman, saying that it’s not over. Actually it pretty much was. They hooked up at Survivor Series and a very, and I do mean very, brief encounter at the end of the 1991 Royal Rumble.

For the final (and it dang well better be) interview of the night, we go to the Warrior, who has a joke. What do Heenan/Rude have in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong. While it’s not funny, it’s just out there to hear from Warrior. He’s literally snarling the whole time Gene is talking.

This is not at all surprising. He says he has an inalienable right to the WWF Champion, which is a line that I really like. He’s going through the Preamble to the Constitution, which is actually really good, and comes dangerously close to making sense.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

In a cage remember. This would be Rude’s last major and perhaps last period match in the WWF as he bailed for WCW, but didn’t show up for a year. I guess he was doing indy shows or something. This was odd as he had been insulting Boss Man’s mom, paving the way for a feud between the two of them. Crowd is trying to care but they’re just so worn out from the Hogan match that I guess the break due to building the cage was a great thing for them.

Rude won’t let Warrior into the cage which is kind of stupid. You can’t win until he’s inside, so let him in. They fight on the edge, with Warrior outside and Rude inside. This is a pretty slow paced cage match where the cage is just kind of an accessory. I’m pretty impartial to matches like these, as they can be good or pretty bad, but occasionally you get a great one like at Summerslam 94. This is a far cry from that, mainly because it’s only about 11 minutes long.

That’s a bit of time, but still far from enough to really be effective and show off what the cage can be like. Maybe they’re trying to protect Warrior as they know he’s not the best in matches like this, but maybe they were just low on time. Rude gets the neckbreaker blocked for about the 112th time by Warrior which is still something the announcers have never seen before. Does Vince ever watch a match?

Rude more or less dominates here and screws up huge as he goes to the very top of the cage while Warrior is down and just sits there. He hits a big punch and knocks Warrior silly, but dang man he could have built a whole new cage in the time he had up there. It made no sense and Piper is losing his mind over how stupid it was on Rude’s part. When Piper says you’re stupid, you’re stupid. What could possibly be stupider than that? HE DOES IT AGAIN!

Good grief no wonder he never won the world title. He was too stupid to do it I guess. Anyway, Rude gets knocked down and here comes the comeback that you all knew was coming. Rude stops it though which surprises me. They go back and forth until Heenan gets in somehow and gets beaten up. NOW we get the real comeback and you know the drill here.

Piper makes an interesting question: when Warrior does the pumping press slam motion, WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN??? Warrior gets the slam and the splash and climbs out, swiveling his hips as he leaves to keep the belt. He poses with the blue/purple belt by swinging it over his head. We plug Survivor Series one more time as we go off the air.

Rating: C-. Crowd just didn’t care after the Hogan match and the 10 minute wait to put up the cage. It was an ok match but absolutely nothing of note happened here. It was exactly what you would expect and no one thought Rude had a freaking prayer. This was ok, but that’s all.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s personal bias, but I freaking love this show. You get a pure classic in the tag title match, some GREAT promos all night, although too many promos in general, a show long story, a white hot crowd, and some nice chances to catch your breath with some filler and how do you not have an awesome show? That’s the thing about filler: it can be a great tool to have, but it’s so easy to go overboard with it and if that happens, you’re in real trouble because the fans are bored.

Feuds were begun and ended, stories were advanced, and the crowd went home happy. How does that not sound awesome? Definite recommendation as they nailed the formula here: have a big card without being as serious as Mania but treat it like Mania, if that makes sense.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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The summer of WWE continues. There are a lot of problems in WWE at the moment and any WWE fan can list them all off for you at a moment’s notice. I’ve been right there with them, though things have gotten slightly better in recent weeks. One of the underlying problems has been the amount of shows that the company has been running and it’s time for another one in the form of Extreme Rules, which doesn’t have the most extreme set of rules. Maybe the card itself will surprise me. Let’s get to it.

Aleister Black vs. Cesaro

This was literally set up with a knock on the door and even though that is where the story was supposed to go, it doesn’t make things that interesting. There is no history between the two of them but that’s kind of the point with Black. I have no idea how they’ve managed to screw up Black’s push so badly but I’ll take what I can get, even if it has taken this long.

I’ll go with Black to win because that’s the only thing that makes sense. I know the fans are going to be annoyed at seeing Cesaro lose again, but that’s just kind of what happens with him. He’ll help get Black somewhere, but it’s going to be the Black Mass for the pin, just as it should be. Black is the kind of guy who could go a long way, and Cesaro is a fine first step. Well the second first step as that first run with Ricochet has been forgotten.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival(c) vs. Usos

These two are joined at the hip and that’s fine by me. The best part about this whole thing has been the Revival getting away from the HORRIBLE pranks at the hands of the Usos, which didn’t help anyone whatsoever. The Revival enjoying the good life is funny enough, though at least they’re not looking like the bad end of jokes and that’s better than nothing at this point.

This could go either way but I’ll take the Revival to retain with some cheating. The Usos have been champions so many times that it doesn’t feel important anymore and they certainly don’t need the belts. Let the Revival keep them a little longer and rehab their image that much more, which they really do need after the last few months. They can still be a great team, as long as WWE will just let them do so. A win here would help.

SmackDown Tag Team Titles: Daniel Bryan/Rowan(c) vs. New Day vs. Heavy Machinery

As I was getting ready for this show, I wasn’t sure if New Day was doing anything on the show or who had these titles. That’s how little they matter and that says a lot about the tag division as a whole. Heavy Machinery doesn’t exactly belong in this match after they lost last month but when has that bothered them before? The titles are nearly ice cold right now so this isn’t the most important match on the show.

Give me the champions retaining here, as I’m hoping that we’re getting closer to the New Day getting frustrated with Kofi Kingston getting most of the glory and success. Much like the Usos, the New Day winning the titles again wouldn’t mean anything and I can’t imagine Heavy Machinery actually winning the titles. Bryan and Rowan are doing nothing as champions, but somehow they’re the best option at the moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Drew Gulak(c) vs. Tony Nese

Somehow this isn’t on the Kickoff Show (yet) but you can probably pencil it in. Gulak won the title from Nese in a three way at Stomping Grounds and this is his first title defense. What matters most here is Gulak’s new, aggressive character which has gotten him a lot further than his entertaining For A Better 205 Live deal. He’s fitting well as champion, though I’m not sure how long he’ll have the title.

He’ll have it longer than the end of Extreme Rules though as I’ll go with Gulak to retain here. Nese has had his run and while he was a success, he’s not the long term solution with the title. They’ve already got Oney Lorcan waiting to challenge Gulak over Summerslam weekend as well and that could be a heck of a match. Nese has come a long way, but he’s not getting back to the top again, at least not here.

SmackDown World Title: Kofi Kingston(c) vs. Samoa Joe

This has been a better feud than anything Kingston vs. Ziggler did, mainly because it feels like something fresh. What matters here is having a good match, because this feels like a one off match instead of the start of something big. While there is a chance that we could see a rematch at Summerslam, odds are this is going to be it and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Kingston retains here, at least I think, as I could see Samoa Joe puling off a surprise win. That’s the kind of thing he tends to do, though I’m not sure if he’s going to do so here. Kingston’s title reign has not gone very well so far, though it’s hard to put the entirety of the blame on him. Samoa Joe almost has to win the title at some point, but I don’t think that’s the case here.

Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley

This is Last Man Standing and a result of the two of them blowing up part of the set a few weeks back. It feels like we’ve seen this kind of thing from Strowman for years now as he gets to look dominant in a story like this, though I have no reason to believe that he’s going to win the title in the end. Lashley has looked great as well, though there is a lot more to be done with Strowman, at least in a company that makes sense.

Of course I’ll take Strowman here, though it’s going to come after a lot of stuff is destroyed. That’s not a bad place to go and the match should be fun (or at least extreme) but I have no confidence for where this is going in the future for either guy. At least it’s better than arm wrestling or a tug of war though, which means Heyman at least has one good thing going for him.

Undertaker/Roman Reigns vs. Shane McMahon/Drew McIntyre

No Holds Barred for the sake of McMahon. The match itself isn’t what matters here, as the whole point is much more about who Undertaker gets to face at Summerslam. Odds are that it’s going to be McIntyre, but I’m not sure who would win once we get there. That’s for later though so for now, we get more McMahon getting to hang with multiple time World Champions, if not beating them.

For the sake of my sanity, I’m going with Undertaker and Reigns squeaking by a guy whose career highlight is the NXT Title and the Monster McMahon, because somehow this is one of the biggest feuds of the summer. Assuming Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler isn’t added to the card (or even if it is), I could easily see Owens interfering here and taking McMahon down. Not for a pin of course because Undertaker and Reigns aren’t on that level, but maybe he can help bring McIntyre down.

SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley(c) vs. Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss

This feud has gotten a lot of time in recent weeks, though I’m not entirely sure which way it’s going. That’s the best thing about it though, as they really could take it in a lot of different directions and see what they can find. Cross is being conned by Bliss, but Bayley has been showing some more heelish tendencies as of late. That opens up a lot of doors and any of them could be followed up on here.

I’ll take Bayley winning to retain here, likely pinning Cross in the process. Above all else, Bayley needs to get FAR away from Bliss, as the two of them have been joined at the hip for far too long now. It almost never goes well for Bayley either and the longer they’re together, the more I expect Bliss to get the title and kill Bayley’s momentum again. Odds are Charlotte gets the title shot at Summerslam (because she’s Charlotte) so Bayley has to win here to set that up.

US Title: Ricochet(c) vs. AJ Styles

This one is going to come down to how much you believe the stories about Paul Heyman being so high on Ricochet. At the end of the day, Ricochet is the kind of guy who could be turned into a new top star for the company in the blink of an eye and it seems that they’re heading that way. At the same time though, Styles is Styles and you don’t want the newly reformed Club losing their first big pay per view match.

I think they’ll put the title on Styles though, likely through Good Brothers interference, meaning it’s time to have Ricochet chase the title again. Ricochet losing due to the numbers game is acceptable, but it would be nice to let the younger guys get a longer term chance. I’m not confident whatsoever in this one though and that’s a nice feeling for a match like this.

Universal Title/Raw Women’s Title: Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch(c) vs. Lacey Evans/Baron Corbin

We’ve covered every possible bit of ranting that can be done about this match and these feuds but now we get an Extreme Rules match for both titles. The big story here is the real life relationship between Lynch and Rollins (because that’s REAL while everything else is fake) vs. the business relationship between Evans and Corbin, because that’s what we want at an EXTREME show.

For the sake of my sanity (again with the sanity), I’ll go with the champions retaining here because….how could Corbin ever be World Champion? I mean I know he will be someday, but egads the possibilities of that give me hives. I’m not sure where this takes Rollins and Lynch (though the Power Couple battle against Triple H and Stephanie McMahon is starting to seem plausible) but for now, they keep the titles.

Overall Thoughts

Main event aside, this is actually a pretty good looking card and I don’t remember the last time that was the case for a WWE pay per view. There are a few violent matches sprinkled here and there but did anyone really expect an actual EXTREME show from this event? You take what you can get here as the nightmare summer continues. I don’t know what Heyman and Bischoff have in mind for Summerslam, but it almost has to be better than what we’ve been doing for the last few weeks. At least it’s going to be fresh and that’s what matters most.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2005
Location: Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 18,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re over in Japan for the first time in Smackdown history and it’s tournament time. With less than two weeks to go before No Way Out, we need a #1 contender for Wrestlemania so it’s time for a tournament to get us to that point. There are two first round matches tonight and one of them actually seems interested. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Assuming the information is correct, there were about 2,000 more people here than for Monday Night Raw. Rather odd given how stacked Raw was.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Kenzo is booed out of the building and there’s no Hiroko. The EDDIE chants get on Kenzo’s nerves even more so he starts stomping away in the corner. Choking on the mat makes it even worse and a running knee drop gives Kenzo two. We hit the nerve hold as Cole explains the difference between Japanese and American crowds. Eddie fights up with some right hands to the head and the Three Amigos connect. The frog splash finishes Kenzo without much effort.

Rating: D+. And that’s it for Kenzo, at least on Smackdown. He’s one of those guys who never did anything more than make a few footnotes and there isn’t exactly much to remember about him. Other than the period where he wanted Torrie, there was little more to him than “Japanese villain”. You need more than that and Kenzo never got close.

Kurt Angle is ready for Rey Mysterio in the tournament tonight, even though Mark Jindrak didn’t do anything against Mysterio last week. When he wins tonight, he has a path to the finals because Undertaker didn’t win. Reigns doesn’t like Undertaker being treated like something big and special around here. He talks about his time in prison and being in jail for five calendars (Is “year” now on the no list?). After doing all that, he’s not scared of caskets or the Dead Man. Angle: “That’s the intensity that I want.” I just want an Undertaker feud that doesn’t involve someone saying they’re not scared of him.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending. Doug and Jindrak start things off with the former double legging Jindrak, meaning Angle’s coaching isn’t doing all that well. Reigns gets in a cheap shot from the back and the challengers take over. Jindrak snaps off a suplex and hits the hip swivel….and there’s the gong. The lights go out and Undertaker appears for the beating and the no contest, which isn’t a DQ for no logical reason.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just there to set up Reigns vs. Undertaker at No Way Out. That’s not the worst idea in the world and it’s not like the champs were dead to rites. It’s a nice enough TV angle, albeit one that came after a match that showed how generic these teams are.

Video on the fans loving the show being in Japan and John Cena meeting some of them.

Joy Giovanni is shooting a t-shirt gun. And that’s it.

Kenzo fires up Hiroko for the Kimono match with Torrie Wilson. He rather likes the idea of Hiroko exposing Torrie.

JBL complains to Amy Weber about the barbed wire cage match and promises to do something drastic to Big Show. He pulls out a tranquilizer gun to shoot Show, which will keep him out of the cage match. Amy takes the gun but Orlando Jordan opens the door behind her and JBL gets shot in the neck. After standing up for a second, JBL goes right back down.

Sumo champion Akebono is here again.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Chavo Guerrero

Funaki is the home country champion and gets the biggest reaction of his career. They take their time to start and we get a friendly slap of hands. Funaki takes him to the mat and grabs a quickly broken headscissors. The fast paced covers get two each and it’s a standoff. As you might expect, the commentators ignore the match to talk about JBL being shot as Chavo gets in a cheap shot to take over. Some uppercuts have Funaki in trouble and a suplex gets two.

The chinlock and a belly to back suplex get two more on Funaki as the announcers move on to talking about beer in vending machines. It’s off to an Octopus Hold and the fans gasp a bit at seeing Chavo bust it out. That’s broken up and Funaki hits a basement dropkick, followed by a bulldog for two. The tornado DDT is broken up so Funaki’s enziguri gives him another two. Funaki goes up but gets superplexed back down and a backbreaker gets two. Chavo makes the mistake of putting him on top though and the tornado DDT retains the title.

Rating: C+. Well that was a surprise. It’s a good sign that the announcers got into the match as the action was good enough to draw them in. Funaki winning clean is something you probably wouldn’t get today so it’s nice that the company actually used to care about something like this. Nice match too.

Carlito takes credit for Theodore Long not being here when a rather woozy JBL comes in to ask how Carlito’s hair got through customs. Orlando Jordan comes in to check on JBL, who tells him to go take care of the Vanilla Ice rapper. Jordan leaves and JBL yells at an inflatable dinosaur.

Basic Instinct Wrestlemania trailer, with Stacy Keibler implying a special relationship with Trish Stratus. Chris Benoit, Christian and Chris Jericho asking about various matches, including hardcore and mixed tags, is rather amusing, though Stacy tops them by making lingerie pillow fights sound serious. Moolah and Mae Young as the big gag at the end isn’t funny, but the rest was great.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena raps about beating up Orlando Jordan to send a message to JBL while making a bunch of OJ Simpson references. Jordan gets in his token offense to start so Cena hits the hiptoss and release fisherman’s suplex to get us out of the rooking wrestling level. Cena charges into a boot in the face and gets clotheslined down, allowing Jordan to start with the boxing punches. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by an elbow to Cena’s jaw for two. Cena comes back with the hard clotheslines, throws in a bow, and drops the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle and the FU finishes Jordan in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was a world of difference with Cena’s offense having fire and snap while Jordan….well there’s just nothing good about it. He’s boring, he’s first gear the whole way, there’s nothing that makes him stand out and he’s just a warm body for Cena to beat up. That’s fine for a lackey, but watching him have a match is painful.

Post break the Cabinet can’t find JBL. Tazz: “How do you lose a 6’6 WWE Champion with a cowboy hat?” Completely valid (and unique) question.

Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko

Kimono match, which is the same as an evening gown match. Well, with a different kind of clothing but you get the idea. Hiroko throws salt in the eyes to start but her kicks to the ribs are cut off by a clothesline. Torrie’s kimono gets pulled up so she hits a shoulder in the corner and grabs an airplane spin. Hiroko gets stripped to give Torrie the win. This is every version of the match you’ve ever seen.

Torrie strips as a bonus. As she is leaving, here’s JBL with the dinosaur. He tries to throw it in the ring but it falls backwards onto him in a funny bit. Post break JBL has it in his ring and accuses it of being a lizard on “stee-roids.” JBL: “You’re like Barry Bonds. I bet you play baseball.” As he continues to sound completely out of it (as he should), JBL talks about how it’s just a dinosaur like Big Show (JBL: “His name is Barney. He likes pizza.”). JBL stands for Just Beat A Lizard and the dinosaur falls forward.

The jacket and tie come off and JBL threatens the dinosaur for disrespecting him. He is NOT scared and wants a fight as Cole calls this embarrassing for the champ. There go JBL’s shirt and pants, revealing pink underwear. Cue Big Show, just as JBL decides the dinosaur is a dragon. JBL slugs away and hits the Clothesline, drawing out the Cabinet for the big beatdown as JBL is fine. So it was all a ruse. A chair to Show’s hand misses and Show cleans house without much trouble. That’s making it a lot more complicated than it needed to be. I guess “jump him in the back with a bunch of chairs” was too complicated?

JBL was very funny here and that’s something that people often forget about his title reign. His time as champion seems to be remembered as doing the same things over and over again with nothing ever changing. While that might be the case during most of his matches, JBL did some very good comedy in there and it was really entertaining stuff a lot of the time, like this right here.

During the break, Show talked about how much he could hurt people with no trouble and promised to do that at No Way Out. That brings him to Akebono, who knows what it’s like to be this size. If Akebono is a grand champion, he can get in the ring and prove it right now. Akebono does just that and while he isn’t as tall as Show, he’s certainly wider in girth. They shake hands and Show raises his hand. Well that was anticlimactic, which is probably the best thing right now.

No Way Out rundown, with two matches (cage, Reigns vs. Undertaker) announced for the show, which is in ten days.

Angle tells Mysterio to not get his hopes up, which Rey interprets as Angle not respecting him. The joke will be on Angle tonight.

Video on the Japanese tour, with JBL saying there is no language barrier.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle

This is really a semifinals match as the winner gets a spot in the finals. No springboard entrance for Rey here. Mysterio gets nowhere on a wrestling attempt so it’s time to rethink the strategy. Angle grabs the arm and then a waistlock so Rey elbows his way out. Rey tries to run so Angle knees him in the ribs for the easy cut off. Back up and Rey gets smart with a headscissors but it’s too early for the 619.

That means another standoff before Angle headlocks Rey down for some control. Rey slips out again and hits a basement dropkick, setting up the ten right hands in the corner with the fans counting in English. The quick belly to belly gets Angle out of trouble though and we take a break. Back with Angle fighting out of a chinlock and sending Angle outside, meaning it’s time for a dive. Since Angle isn’t quite human, he’s right back with a German suplex and a backbreaker for two.

Some knees to the back have Rey in more trouble and Angle takes him down for some rolling near falls. Angle ties him in the Tree of Woe, which does not seem cool with the fans. A charge goes into the post though and Rey has a bit of a breather. The springboard seated senton rocks Angle but he’s right back with a hard clothesline. Rey knocks him into the ropes for the 619 but the West Coast Pop is blocked. A standing hurricanrana gives Rey two but the sitout bulldog is countered into the Angle Slam. There’s the ankle lock and Rey taps.

Rating: B. Like this was going to be anything other than good. These two have always had chemistry together and this match told a rather awesome story. Angle was aggressive throughout with Rey getting in his high risk spots where he could, only to get caught in the big moves at the end. Angle winning sets up a big match for Cena in the finals and that’s what matters in the end.

Here are the updated brackets:

Kurt Angle

BYE

Booker T.

John Cena

Overall Rating: C. Raw was way better, but this was a fun show as well with the main event helping out quite a bit. JBL was a nice bit of humor in the middle as well and there were enough good moments throughout to make the show entertaining. No Way Out should wrap up smoothly enough (once we get a card that is) and then it’s on to Wrestlemania, where everything can finally change. This wasn’t Raw, but it was an acceptable alternative.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Survivor Series is coming.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

So we’re a year removed from the first Summerslam and quite a bit has changed in the WWF. Savage is now a full heel and no longer the champion, having dropped the title to Hogan at Mania 5. Their feud continues though as Hogan is now teaming with Beefcake to face Savage and Zeus in the main event. Now the Zeus storyline was, ahem, interesting I guess you would say.

Here’s the idea: Hogan made a movie called No Holds Barred. To wrestling fans, this was and still is proof that there’s a god and that he has a sense of humor, as this may indeed be the worst movie ever filmed. It’s corny, it’s stupid, and it’s nothing but a way to push Hogan down our throats. Seriously, this makes Cena look like Clark Gable.

Anyway, Zeus the character, real life name Tom Lister, wanted revenge on Hogan the wrestler, not Hogan’s character Rip from the film. If that made no sense, it would be like villain from 12 Rounds, whoever that was, coming to Raw to try to kill John Cena. See why this feud was bad from the beginning? Wouldn’t Zeus be angry at the screenwriters and not Hogan? Shouldn’t he be heading for a board room or something like that?

Dang this guy needs a new agent. Anyway, there’s one major flaw with this storyline: Lister wasn’t a wrestler, but an actor. This leads to one big issue: he doesn’t know how to do anything in the ring other than choke Hogan. This proves to be a storyline that’s looked back on fondly as it was something I grew up watching, but in modern times this is pretty stupid.

Anyway, this is a big tag match, even though there’s another one in a cage a few months later that’s the real blow off to this, and likely a better match. Your other big match, which oddly enough was the first time those words could be used to describe this series, is Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior for the IC Title in a rematch from Mania 5 where Rude stole the belt in a stunning upset.

Other than that, it’s mainly filler matches that no one really wanted to watch. It looks like a far better card on paper than last year’s show, which isn’t saying much to be fair, but let’s see how it is.

First thing we see: big freaking sign saying that the show is tonight at 745. Well thanks for letting me know that since I’M WATCHING THE SHOW. How stupid were the 1980s? That music is sick though and I love it. Pure retro WWF music is something that will never be topped. Why in the world did I not have a Hulk Rules shirt? Oh and we have a tag line: Feel The Heat.

Well ok then I’ll make sure to do that. Tony and Jesse do your run of the mill intro talking about the two big matches until Tony says away we go. Apparently we’re going away to another intro. This one is of wrestlers squashing jobbers with cuts of non wrestling people doing various summer things: softball, ice cream, swimming, etc.

This is like a weird intro to Wrestling Challenge or something like that. It ends with Hogan hitting Zeus with a chair and Zeus slowly turning to face him before we hear some familiar music.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Busters just recently won the tag belts from Demolition, ending their epic reign that will simply never be topped. However, this is non title because the Busters won the titles after this match was signed, which I guess is trying to protect the belts while keeping the Harts strong, but it still doesn’t make it sound all that great. The champions still have no music for no apparent reason while the Harts music sends the crowds into the official land of the insane.

This was around the time that everyone knew the Harts were the best tag team in a LONG time and perhaps the best team ever, and that the belts were rightfully theirs. I’ve always like the jog that the Busters did on the way to the ring for some reason. Makes them seem more serious or something I suppose. I also like the no music. It makes them seem like two guys that do nothing but just go out there and wrestle. That’s a gimmick in and amongst itself.

Lance Storm made it work very well, as did Arn Anderson. According to Jesse, if the Harts lose they might not get a title shot again for another year. In this era, there’s an excellent chance that he’s correct. That’s how competitive the tag division was at the time. In two months you’d see a tag team survivor series match with some TEN TAG TEAMS. I don’t mean two random guys put together and called a team.

TEN sets of guys that were legitimate teams. To say that the Harts dominate the first half of this match is an understatement. I don’t think the champions have control in that time frame at all, but they somehow never look like they’re completely out of it either. That’s a nice touch and something that’s rather difficult to do if you think about it. But wait, what’s this? The champions….are starting to win? What a concept!

The champions are winning a match in the style they’re champions of! That’s a great idea indeed and makes the match better as it extends it, making it back and forth. Arn hits the ropes and Bret uses a knee to his back to break his momentum. That’s a pure heel move but it gets a massive face pop here. I love how in wrestling the fans are so preconditioned to cheer and boo for certain people. That’s something you only get here.

We get a brawl once Hart gets the tag and eventually it’s Blanchard and both Harts in the ring. He gets the slingshot shoulder block which I’ve always marked out like crazy for, followed by the powerslam/splash move where Jim picks up Bret and reverse powerslams him onto Tully for the cover. Arn with a double axe handle, which normally is just a basic move, apparently knocks Bret out here for the pin.

Rating: B+. This was some classic 80s tag team wrestling which is what the 80s were best at. All kinds of double team work and back and forth style which is just a treat to watch all over the place. Harts dominate but the champs come back in the end to steal the pin, which is a very nice touch as both teams look strong. Very good match and the perfect opener.

Dusty Rhodes, wearing Big Boss Man’s hat and holding his nightstick, is going to face Honky Tonk Man, which was a weird feud to say the least. He’s not worried and it takes him about a minute and a half to say that which includes 28 complimentary lisps.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Honky Tonk Man

Yep, it’s a comedy match. This was just an odd feud to say the least and I’m not quite sure who thought this would work well on camera. Neither guy could carry a match so I guess it falls on Dusty here. Dusty has a reputation for being one of the most lazy as well as one of the most inept guys in the ring and this is no exception. We’re 2 minutes into it and what do we get from Dusty? A rest hold of course!

And not just any rest hold mind you, but the lethal slight ankle twist…….OF DOOM. Hart on the megaphone is always great stuff as you could tell he loved every second of being out there. This cameraman has way too much of a tendency to focus the camera on Dusty or Honky’s pants. That’s not something I want to see a lot of. Dusty of course no sells the offense which makes Honky look even more ridiculous as we get even more rest holds since neither really has a big offensive range to speak of.

Think about it: what do you remember Honky doing other than a swinging neckbreaker? What stands out for you from Dusty other than a bunch of elbows? Dusty fights back, leading to a Honky rest hold. Literally, we’ve probably had 40-50% rest holds so far. What the heck are they resting from? Oh here’s Dusty’s next comeback and it’s the more interesting variety of elbows and punches rather than punches and elbows this time.

Ref goes down and Jimmy accidentally hits Honky with the guitar, leading to a BIG elbow drop from Dusty for the pin. Sean Mooney picks 18 seconds after Honky gets hit by a real, not the Jeff Jarrett breakaway kind, of guitar to interview him. Honky thinks he’s Elvis, that Jimmy is Priscilla and that he needs to kiss Lisa Marie before he gets on stage tonight. That’s an image that I don’t want coupled with one I do want actually.

Rating: F. This was atrocious. Both men had issues wrestling anything close to a passable match and were asked to put on a good match out there. That’s a bad combination and Dusty apparently was sleepy as he was in about 18 rest holds in a 10 minute match. That was the biggest issue of the whole thing for the most part. Honky was a great comedy heel, but even he couldn’t escape from the gravitational force of the suckage that comes from Dusty’s stomach.

Duggan, in Demolition mask, along with his partners for later tonight Demolition, talk…about something. I think it’s about training for their match later.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Perfect is a guy that can do anything and everything perfectly. Rooster is a man that walks around making chicken noises. My goodness what a gimmick can do for someone. There’s a bit of a joke here as Rooster was offered the Perfect gimmick buy turned it down and was given this I believe as a punishment. Hennig took it just so he could have a job in the WWF.

I think we know who made the right choice. It might be this gimmick but I’ve never been able to stand anything about Terry Taylor. He’s the most worthless wrestler I have ever seen. Dude, did Taylor botch a slam? Hennig is what, 250? How do you botch a move like that? Tony says that a dropkick was totally awesome! DANG that didn’t sound right coming from him.

They fight on the floor for a bit as I think Rooster is injured. He’s limping around a lot and I don’t remember Hennig doing anything to his leg. I think so even more as they go back in and NOW, you’re going to see a Perfect Plex! I mean they’re inside and within a second he’s got the headlock on him. That has to be a fast ending. Taylor can’t even sell the Plex right, as he sells it like he’s out cold. It’s a suplex with a bridge, not a power bomb. You don’t sell it like you’re dead.

Rating: C+. This was WAY too short to really be anything as it was less than 3 and a half minutes I’d say. However, if Taylor actually was hurt that’s not their fault at all. For the time they were out there it was good though. I think it was the slam where he got hurt though. He was on a big offensive run at the time and a quick slam would have fit in there perfectly. After that it fell apart which I think was due to the injury. I’ll go with the decent ranking when both were healthy instead though.

BLAST IT! At least that’s the clean version of what Gene Okerlund has to say when the Summerslam logo falls behind him as he’s trying to interview Rude. The funny part is it falls, he hears it, he looks down at it, and THEN he says the word. They cut away immediately and Tony tries to imply nothing happen as Jesse is completely losing it on commentary. This was hilarious.

Tito Santana/Rockers vs. Rougeaus/Martel

Random six man tag. This should be good I suppose given the guys out there. Oh and Jannetty will be ok too. It’s a classic tag feud mixed with singles feud so…ROUGEAU MUSIC!!! Holy goodness I love this song as it just awesome all around. As I check, yes indeed Jimmy Hart wrote it. With lyrics like “we don’t like heavy metal and we don’t like rock and roll. All we listen to is Barry Manilow.”, seriously, how can you go wrong?

Eighties wrestling music was so mind blowingly great it’s hard to stop. Slick managed Martel? I don’t remember that. As expected given the names in this match, everything goes insane in just a few seconds. The Rockers are in and it’s dropkicks a go-go all over the place, followed by the tag team throwing Santana into Martel. As they would today, the heels take over when we’re back in the ring. After that, it’s standard material that works pretty well I’d say.

Everyone in there is at least a decent if not good worker. After about 5 minutes of heel dominance, we get to the inevitable brawl with the faces taking over. Hart gets on the apron but is cut off by Jannetty, who is rolled up but reverses the rollup into one of his own. Martel runs in and lands a devastating…punch, which knocks him out for the pin. Tony screams that neither was the legal man, but who cares about that?

Rating: B+. This can be summed up in one word: fun match. You had six….that was two words wasn’t it? Oh screw it. I’m a political science major because there’s no math so who in the world cares? Anyway, these guys just went out there and had fun. They had almost 15 minutes and made the most of it. Great little match that was fast paced for about 90% of it which helps it a lot. Makes the heels look strong while holding off on the Martel vs. Santana match, which is a plus.

Recap of Warrior vs. Rude, which was actually an epic rivalry. These were two guys that for no reason at all had amazing chemistry together. I don’t ever remember them having an actual bad match, which is odd for Warrior. It started at the Rumble where they had a pose down and Warrior had the IC belt.

At the end, Rude hit Warrior with a steel exercise bar and choked him out with it. Warrior chased him down and didn’t catch him until Mania, where Rude had Bobby Heenan hold Warrior’s foot to steal the title. Since then, they’ve been randomly feuding on and off as Warrior fights the whole Heenan family and a week before Andre beat him up. This is your rematch.

Wait, we need more rambling. Warrior talks about…Andre of course. Oh he throws in Rude too.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Rude does his standard intro that seems fresh despite being used about a million times. As he says hit the music, my tape jumps and I get a split second of the Gobbledygooker egg at Survivor Series 1991 which I’ll be getting to later on. That was really quite odd. Warrior is of course completely insane as he comes to the ring as Jesse wonders what asylum he was let out of.

In this series, Warrior would almost always dominate early on and this is no exception. I like that, as it fits Warrior’s character very well. Also, as they did at Mania, Rude’s back is hurt. Rude’s selling of the atomic drops are nothing short of classic, rivaled only by that of the Genius. Warrior goes to the top twice, which is just odd to see. However only one works as the Ultimate balls are crotched on the top rope.

He also throws on one of the best reverse chinlocks I’ve seen in a long time. It’s closer to a camel clutch but who cares? Rude goes for the Rude Awakening and just has it ripped off. As this is going on, images of Warrior in full character start coming to me. This is absolutely classic stuff as him freaking out on his trainers is nothing but funny stuff. They go back and forth as the ref gets bumped.

Powerslam by Warrior but a slow count allows Rude to get his foot on the bottom rope. This match has some drama to it. Rude hits kind of a weird jumping punch off the top rope which isn’t something you see every day. Rude gets a piledriver as Roddy comes out, whom Rude had been feuding with lately. As he’s there, Rude gyrates at him for no apparent reason, resulting in Roddy mooning him. This gives Warrior the time to heal, leading to the slam and the splash and the IC belt.

Rating: A-. This was a very fun match. Like I said, these two just have freaky chemistry together for no reason at all and every time they’re in the ring it works well. Warrior is slowed down in these matches and it works quite well for him. Rude was a completely opposite style than his but for some reason they just meshed so well. Great match that made sense and furthered Piper vs. Rude like it was supposed to do. Warrior would hold the title until he vacated it after winning at Mania.

Sean Mooney is in the audience and says it’s awesome in a completely pointless scene.

In the back Gene is with Mr. Perfect, who says that Rooster was just a stepping stone, while using for what may be the first time, his signature line: Nobody beats Mr. Perfect, NOBODY. That’s actually a very good line.

Without cutting at all, Roddy shows up to be interviewed by Gene, who makes jokes about showing his back to Rude. Piper is either so coked up he can’t see straight, or he’s the best promo man that’s ever existed.

Again, with no change in the camera shot at all, Ronnie Garvin is here as my level of appreciation for this show falls. In case I haven’t made it clear, I hate this guy. He says he has a special assignment but Heenan runs in to complain and absolutely lose his mind over what Piper just did. This is great as Heenan is completely insane at this point. We have to be on an intermission here as this is the 4th interview in a row. Rude comes in and freaks out with less comedy.

Jesse agrees with Bobby.

Following that 5 minute barrage of interviews, we get a recap of the main event feud. Apparently Hogan and Zeus were feuding on the set of the movie, and Z appeared on SNME. Macho and Zeus hooked up in July to continue Savage’s feud with Hogan. Yeah this recap is really boring. We get the famous scene of Zeus attacking Beefcake and Hogan smashing him with a chair and Zeus just turning around.

This was SO much better when Dusty and Boss Man did it in the NWA. That’s the really famous one where Rhodes took the wooden chair and smashed it over Boss Man’s (then called Big Bubba) head, shattering it into a bunch of pieces. Bubba no sold it and just adjusted his tie. That’s awesome stuff right there. This goes on for five minutes and it’s just not needing that much time.

Big Boss Man/Akeem/Andre the Giant vs. Jim Duggan/Demolition

This is just a straight old grudge match which should be fun. We get Jive Soul Bro so everything is right in my world. Andre just looks bad here. The heel team is 1,300 pounds. That’s freaking scary. When the 400lb+ Boss Man is the smallest guy on the team, that’s saying a lot. Duggan is in the Demolition mask here and Jesse makes a Jason Vorhees joke for no apparent reason.

He’s also King at this point which didn’t last that long. Ah ok the mask does look like a black Jason mask so that works fine. He has an American Flag painted on his face so Jesse has to go on a big rant. The 2×4 has a crown on it which is kind of cute. Duggan and Akeem start us off and Duggan defies the laws of PG with some harsh language.

The faces work over the African Dream a bit here which is smart as he’s definitely the easiest target of the three. And so much for that as Boss Man is in now. Now they work over him too as I’m noticing a theme of some sort. Some double team shenanigans allow Andre to come in and Axe is in trouble. Andre sits on him and it’s amazing that he’s still alive.

For once the USA chant makes sense as Andre is a Frenchman. Akeem, the wrestling master that he is, allows Axe to get the tag and bring in Smash. He gets a slam on both guys to put the heels in trouble. And then Andre smacks him in the head to take care of that. Akeem gets a second rope splash on Smash but Duggan pops him with the board to take care of that and get the pin. Big pop for that also which is kind of surprising.
Rating: C+. This was just a good old fashioned fight and there’s nothing wrong with that. Given the 6 guys in there, what were you expecting out of this match? These guys were just beating on each other for the sake of beating on each other and it was fun. Fun little match that worked quite well for what it was.

Survivor Series ad.

DiBiase says he’s going to beat Snuka.

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Ronnie Garvin is the surprise ring announcer. What did the fans do, burn something huge? How in the world he got a pop and earlier in his career actually BEAT RIC FLAIR FOR THE NWA WORLD TITLE is beyond me. He’s fighting with Valentine over something and he insults Valentine and Hart in his introduction. These are the worst insults of all time.

He says Valentine claims to weigh 249 but looks to be overweight by 30 pounds. Is that actually an insult? He’s saying Valentine weighs less than he looks? “When he goes to his manager for advice, Little Jimmy can’t give him any.” What kind of a mean thing to say is that? Dear god this guy is awful. He says Valentine has two left feet. Garvin is insulting his ability to dance now??? In case you can’t tell, I really hate Garvin.

This match goes on for about 3 minutes and I think Hercules uses 18 punches and a suplex. Valentine uses his feet on the ropes and gets a pin. Garvin, the guy this match is focused on is, says that he feels Hercules is the winner. Based on this, the referee disqualifies Valentine. Herc and Garvin beat up Valentine.

Rating: F-. I hate Ronnie Garvin. He’s involved in this match, so it sucks.

We then get what has to be the weirdest promo of all time. Gene is with Sherri, Macho and Zeus, around a freaking cauldron of all things. They say….something about bad things coming to the faces tonight but I really was too confounded to listen. This was far stranger than it sounds.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

DiBiase, still with no music, mentions he ended Jake Roberts. Snuka comes out to NO reaction at all, but Tony tries to tell us otherwise. Jimmy is rocking the zebra tights instead of the tiger ones he usually has. They’re really not working for him. Standard stuff here that’s really not interesting to say the least.

Punches, kicks, occasional suplex, DiBiase misses a big move, Superfly goes for the splash but Virgil makes the save, Thanks to Virgil we get a count out. Post match he beats up Virgil and splashes him which gets a ton of flashbulbs.

Rating: D. This was boring beyond belief and really didn’t need to happen. It is the definition of filler which this show was full of. They seriously need to get to the end of the show NOW.

Mooney is in the audience…..again.

Beefcake and Hogan say they’ll win. Apparently they drove their Harleys across the river. Hogan uses some very un-Hulk like language, even saying sexy, to describe Liz and her “headlights.” Kind of makes me wonder what he was riding.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage

Genius has a poem about Liz and Hogan which was a way to start paving the way for Hogan vs. Perfect very soon. As annoying as Beefcake was, he had a SWEET theme song. How in the world did I never get one of those Hulk Hogan teddy bears? What kind of a gimmick is a barber? That’s the best they could come up with for him? Hogan’s music hits and the fans go crazy. That’s saying a lot.

Hogan was so loved that the people would sit through three and a half hours of crap save for one or two matches for Hogan and Hogan alone. As Ventura puts it: THIS IS MASS HYSTERIA! No Jesse, THIS IS HULKAMANIA!!! My goodness that looks sweet in all caps. Screw all the people that say Hogan sucks and plays politics. He is the greatest thing in the history of professional wrestling. Hogan tells Fink he has something to say. The pop for this is absurd.

She gets a pop on the level of the Warrior from earlier on. Macho is going nuts over this, as was expected. Macho is in gray/white tights, which just don’t work for him. My tape has a glitch in it as one minute Savage has Hogan in an Orton special, and the next Zeus is beating on Hogan. It’s a standard main event tag like last year but with more time given to it and it’s likely a better match because of it, but we’ve seen the formula before.

Face gets beaten down, mini brawl, other face takes over, gets beaten down, and then it’s hot tag to Hogan. Oh before I forget, Zeus is invincible unless you poke him in the eye first, and THEN punches hurt him. Why do I feel like I’m watching a mix of Zelda, the Three Stooges and Summerslam?

Sherri’s purse is loaded, which was later revealed to have a brick in it I believe, but THAT doesn’t drop Zeus. However, the slam and the leg drop do for the pin. Liz takes out Sherri and they cut her hair. Posing and recaps follow.

Rating: B-. This was fine for what it was, but it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before, namely LAST FREAKING YEAR. It’s an ok tag match that no one would remember after the cage rematch 3 months later so this wasn’t anything too bad. Hogan of course looks dominant and another of his buddies gets a rub.

This would continue with Zeus for a few more months until the cage rematch where Hogan pins him with three leg drops as he apparently wanted to crush his immortal soul. Three leg drops are the equivalent of a nuclear explosion, so it’s no wonder Zeus didn’t wrestle for 7 years.

Overall Rating: B-. What an upgrade from last year! This was a million times better but that’s not really saying a lot. There were two featured matches this year so therefore the show looks a lot bigger. However, MY GOD THERE’S A LOT OF FILLER. This show never seems like it’s going to end as there’s probably 2-3 matches that could be completely cut. DiBiase’s could have been accomplished in a promo to say the least.

Hercules/Valentine could have been a short promo with Garvin running down Valentine (or being trampled under the hooves of stampeding camels), and the 6 man was just to get Andre and Demolition on the show. It’s light years ahead of 88, but next year the show really starts to get it right. Watch it if you’re a fan of 80s stuff and are quite bored.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor
Date: July 10, 2019
Location: ShoWare Center, Kent, Washington
Commentator: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana

Another week and another show that is likely going to be little more than a filler as we wait for the fallout from Best in the World. The best thing I can say about that is we don’t need to see as much of the bad storytelling that takes place around here when they get away from what they do best. Hopefully the good wrestling can carry the week around here so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Kingdom vs. Bouncers

TK O’Ryan and Vinny Marseglia for the Kingdom here and Brian Milonas is now Brawler Milonas. O’Ryan runs away from Brawler to start and gets sent into the buckle over and over for his efforts. A missed charge lets O’Ryan hit a running dropkick in the corner but Brawler falls on him for a clever spot. Bruiser comes in and punches at Marseglia, followed by doing the same to O’Ryan, with the fans being rather pleased. A little fish hooking gets Marseglia out of trouble but Bruiser bites his way to freedom. Well kind of as he has no teeth you see.

Everything breaks down and Bruiser hits a running flip dive to take them both down. The Kingdom gets smart and sends him into the barricade though and we take a break. Back with Bruiser getting the rope kicked into his face as the fans chant for beer. Amazingly enough, Bruiser isn’t going up for a double flapjack so he grabs a double side slam instead. That’s enough for the tag to Milonas but Closing Time is countered with a grab of Milonas’ leg, allowing O’Ryan to fall on top for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C. See, this is how you use the Bouncers. They’ve been built up for a few months now and then lose to a bigger team. The fans like them because they’ve been established as a fun team and their gimmick is going to keep them around forever. It’s not a great match or anything, but it was the result of a few months of perfectly acceptable booking.

Post match the Bouncers bring in some beer (with Bruiser holding one to his injured mouth) and the Kingdom puts them over. They’re a good team, but they’re also fat and worthless like everyone here. The beer is poured out in an act of disrespect.

Matt Taven says beware of the quiet man, who he’s facing tonight in Tracy Williams. At the same time, Williams needs to worry about the World Champion. That’s true, as he might have to watch Taven.

Williams (I didn’t even recognize him, which says a lot about ROH at the moment) says this is the biggest match of his career and Taven better have enjoyed his time as champion.

Brian Johnson vs. Josh Woods

Johnson says Woods hasn’t done anything since winning the Top Prospect Tournament and Woods doesn’t like being called out like that. Woods drives him into the corner with no trouble and grabs a waistlock to mess with Johnson some more. An overhead belly to belly (Johnson: “NO! NO! NO!” Cabana: “I think the answer is yes.”) sends Johnson flying but he avoids a charge to send Woods into the post.

Back from a break with Woods fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken down by his banged up arm. The armbar is broken up with some right hands and a knee to the ribs starts the comeback. Johnson kicks the knee out though and Woods falls face first onto Johnson’s knee for a nice little spot, which they managed to make look natural. Not that it matters as Woods hits a knee to the face and the Seismic Toss for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a nice feeling. Johnson is a good little heel and Woods is the kind of guy you can push as the resident shooter. I could see him going towards a midcard title shot and with some more seasoning and tweaking, even further than that. Nice match here and that’s quite the surprise.

We look back at Williams becoming the #1 contender.

Ring of Honor World Title: Matt Taven vs. Tracy Williams

Taven is defending, Jay Lethal is on commentary and the Kingdom is barred from ringside. Lethal is rather frustrated at Taven’s jabs at him for losing the title as Williams takes Taven down by the arm. Taven wrestles his way up and we take an early break. Back with Williams working on the leg and grabbing an ankle lock to send Taven over to the rope. Something like an Angle Slam plants Williams and Taven charges into a boot in the corner.

They head to the floor with Taven whipping him hard into the steps as the brawling goes badly for Williams in a logical move. Hang on though as Taven grabs the title and goes to leave. You don’t do that to a guy named Hot Sauce (seriously, don’t try it) as Williams goes after him and sends the champ into various things. Williams hits a running ax handle off the apron and it’s back into the ring.

Taven catches him on top and hits kind of a super Russian legsweep onto the apron (FREAKING OW MAN!) for a major crash. Back from another break with Williams missing a top rope double stomp but grabbing a sleeper instead. That’s broken up and an enziguri rocks Williams again but he shoves Taven off the top. A top rope DDT (always like that) gives Williams two and they’re both down. It’s Taven up first with a hard knee to the face for another double knockdown.

One heck of a clothesline from Williams sets up the Crossface and that looked like a tap. Of course it’s not though so Williams switches to an ankle lock. The rope is grabbed and Taven hits another knee. The Climax connects for two in a rather good false finish and Williams’ piledriver, with one arm, gets the same. With nothing else working, Taven sends Williams into the referee and drives the bad arm into a turnbuckle he exposed during the break. Now the Climax can retain at 16:44.

Rating: B. The wrestling was better here but there is only so much you’re going to get out of Taven given how uninteresting he can be. Williams feels like a bit of a low rent Chris Benoit and that’s the kind of wrestler who is always going to have a place on a show like this (or any other for that matter). Just find a slightly more interesting way to cut a promo and they could be somewhere.

Overall Rating: B. I know I say this almost every time but the lack of storytelling is the best thing that this company can do. These stand alone shows are that much better and a lot of that is due to them cutting out what they’re bad at and focusing on the good stuff. It’s worked for them for years but for some reason we only get it occasionally here. In other words, do everything backwards from what they seem interested in doing and it gets a lot better.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6