IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Battle Riot II
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Jim Cornette

This is the big live Wrestlemania weekend show and that means we have a major battle royal, which worked well enough last year. I’m not sure what to expect this year as they’ve barely announced any stories for the match, though we do know a good chunk of the lineup. The winner gets a title match at any point they want so at least there’s a big prize. Let’s get to it.

Note that I actually watch this show regularly so for once I know what’s going on. For those of you who are new, I’ll mention names and characters where they matter.

We open with a list of most of the people in the match. It worked for the old Royal Rumbles so this is fine.

The announcers run down the card, which includes a pair of title matches to go along with Battle Riot.

Middleweight Title: Teddy Hart vs. Ace Austin

Austin is challenging and this could be good as the Harts are crazy popular around here. The Dynasty (MJF, Alexander Hammerstone and Richard Holliday) is watching from ringside. As Cornette rants about travel in New York, we start with the guys shoving each other and slowly slugging it out. A rather early Project Ciampa gives Hart the first big advantage with Austin rolling out to the floor. An overhead belly to belly on the floor makes it even worse for Austin and the springboard moonsault off the barricade keeps Austin down. Austin gets crotched against the post and Teddy heads over to steal some of the Dynasty’s champagne.

Of course it goes into MJF’s face and it’s Austin coming back with a kick to the face from the apron. Back in and Austin kicks him in the head a few times before slamming him head first into the mat. Austin takes way too long coming off the top and gets crotched, though he’s fine enough to do the same thing to Hart to block the super Canadian Destroyer. A spinning kick to the face drops Hart again and a spinning top rope Fameasser gets two. Austin gets knocked off the top again though and it’s a super Canadian Destroyer into a regular Canadian Destroyer to retain the title at 6:54.

Rating: C+. Hart wasn’t exactly sweating here, which is kind of annoying as I like Austin a lot and could see him going somewhere. That being said, this wasn’t the place for some big, epic title defense so going with the quick match here with Hart hitting his usual stuff and winning definitively in the end was fine.

Post match Hart rhymes about Alexander Hammerstone, in red, seeing Ted, meaning he’ll be dead. He shoves Richard Holliday but gets a champagne bottle to the head.

Minoru Tanaka vs. Myron Reed

Reed has Rich Swann with him as they continue to claim MLW is treating them unfairly. Tanaka is a big star in Japan and the current GHC Junior Heavyweight Champion. Reed bails straight to the floor to start where Swann offers some advice. Back in and Tanaka works on the arm before going with a standard dropkick to keep Reed in trouble. Swann’s cheap shot from the floor lets Reed score with an enziguri though and we take a break.

We come back with Tanaka’s missile dropkick putting Reed in trouble again as Cornette goes over the history of Japanese wrestling. Reed uses the rope to get out of the cross armbreaker and Stuns his way out of a suplex. A slingshot cutter gives Reed two more but Tanaka rolls him up into a cradle for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: C. Nice little match here with Tanaka looking very good and polished as you would have expected him to. He’s the kind of import that works very well on a special show like this. Reed’s jumping cutters always look great and he got in some offense against the much more polished name.

Video on Contra, a terrorist style stable who have looked awesome in limited appearances.

Promociones Dorado (major heel stable run by Salina de la Renta, an awesome witchy manager) draw their Battle Riot numbers with Salina not being happy with how long it takes. The guys seem pleased when Sami Callihan comes in demanding his money from Salina. He’ll see them tonight. As they leave, Mance Warner (feuding with the group) comes in and steals one of the good numbers, replacing it with a worse one.

We recap Jimmy Havoc vs. Tom Lawlor. Havoc was the last man to defeat him in MLW and now Jimmy is back to win the World Title.

Brian Pillman Jr. is happy with his number when Salina comes in and tries to buy it. Pillman would rather talk about her chest and Salina gives up.

MLW World Title: Jimmy Havoc vs. Tom Lawlor

Lawlor (a former UFC fighter) is defending and this is a street fight. Havoc jumps him before the bell and we lose a camera but Lawlor snaps off a release German suplex to take over. A Death Valley Driver out of the corner stops Lawlor and Havoc pelts a chair at him for two. It’s time to bring in a table (a board in this case) with Lawlor hitting him in the head and bridging the table between the ring and the barricade.

Some kicks to the chest have Havoc in trouble but he avoids a chair and takes Lawlor down again. The chair gets thrown at Lawlor’s head again but hang on as Havoc needs to yell at the fans, allowing Lawlor to send him into the table. They steal a horn from the crowd and Cornette gets in a few horny jokes. More tables and another chair are sent inside but Lawlor grabs a pumphandle suplex.

A charge hits chair though and Havoc gets two off a DDT. Havoc throws in four chairs and bridges a table between them as Cornette has just about had it with the hardcore stuff. Two more chairs are sets up on top of the table but a hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through everything for two. Lawlor sets up a table in a corner but gets sent to the floor before he can use it. Havoc finds a staple gun and that’s just too much for Cornette, especially as it’s used to break up a Figure Four on the floor.

Lawlor is busted open and Havoc licks the blood off, setting up another staple into the head. The referee gets beaten down and there’s a Death Valley Driver through the door for no count. A belly to back faceplant onto some chairs gets a very delayed two from a fresh referee. With nothing else working, Lawlor knees a chair into Havoc’s head twice in a row to retain at 13:13.

Rating: C-. As is usually the case with hardcore matches, your individual mileage may vary. I’m more in the Cornette camp, though he was the completely wrong choice to call something like this because he can’t stand this kind of thing because it’s not wrestling. Now to be fair I’m really not a fan of the staple gun and licking the blood and all that stuff. It comes off like it’s all Havoc knows how to do and with the story not exactly being a violent one, it felt out of place.

Salina tries to buy a rookie’s number but that isn’t happening. Her goons come in and steal it instead.

Video on last year’s Battle Riot.

The announcers preview the match.

Battle Riot

40 man Royal Rumble (with pin/submission/over the top eliminations) with one minute intervals and the winner gets a World Title shot whenever they want. Also, no commercials for a nice bonus. Maxwell Jacob Friedman is in at #1 and says he isn’t shaking because the other thirty nine men in the back are shaking in their own boots. Dan Severn (of Dan Severn fame) is in at #2 and MJF panics in a hurry. The eye poke doesn’t work to start and it’s a belly to belly suplex to send MJF flying.

Hijo de LA Park is in at #3 as the intervals are already going fast. A dropkick puts Severn down but he’s back up to suplex a gyrating Hijo. Air Wolf is in at #4 and it’s a springboard armdrag to take Hijo down as the announcers talk about Teddy Hart being sent to the hospital, meaning he’s out of the match. Severn gets MJF into the corner and it’s Minoru Tanaka in at #5.

We get a weird yet cool slugout between Severn and Tanaka until Jordan Oliver (newcomer) is in at #6. With no one doing anything, Rey Fenix is in at #7 as they need to get rid of a few people. A rolling dropkick hits Hijo and the multiple springs springboard wristdrag have Wolf in trouble. Severn and Tanaka team up on MJF and it’s Pentagon in at #8. Kicking and chopping go around the ring and it’s a standoff with Fenix.

Avalanche (an Austrian from WXW) is in at #9 and Oliver’s high crossbody bounces off of his chest. Well you deserve that if you try to hit someone named Avalanche. MJF offers him money and that seems to be a business deal as Tanaka is on the floor but not eliminated. MJF does manage to get rid of Fenix for the first elimination so Pentagon gives him a beating. Ace Romero (400lbs) is in at #10, giving us MJF, Severn, Hijo, Wolf, Tanaka, Oliver, Pentagon, Avalanche and Romero at the moment. A Pounce eliminates Oliver and Hijo eliminates Pentagon in an upset.

Ken Kerbis (the newcomer who Salina tried to buy earlier) is in at #11 and it’s Romero and Avalanche doing the big man showdown. As Severn and Tanaka hook holds on MJF at the same time, Leo Brien is in at #12. Tanaka gets rid of Severn to a chorus of booing as Severn (61) looked good for about twelve minutes. Michael Patrick (Brien’s partner) is in at #13 but they can’t get rid of Avalanche. Tanaka gets rid of Brien and it’s Gringo Loco in at #14. A top rope cutter hits Romero as the fans are way into Loco, as always. MJF gets rid of Hijo and Tanaka makes Patrick tap to a kneebar.

Kotto Brazil is in at #15 with a slingshot spear and a frog splash to Loco. There’s a standing Sliced Bread to Kerbis and it’s Rey Horus in at #16. A springboard crossbody gets two on Brazil with Loco making the illogical save. One heck of a pop up tornado DDT hits Loco and MJF steals the two count. Romero eliminates Kerbis and it’s Rich Swann in at #17. Superkicks and running Swantons abound but Horus rips the tape off of Swann’s mouth to start the slugout.

Myron Reed is in at #18 for the second back to back partners in a row. Thankfully Reed gets in his running cutter over the top for the always cool visual. Reed and Swann dropkick Tanaka out as they’re getting better at keeping the ring from getting too full. Avalanches eliminates Loco and it’s the nearly 500lb Barrington Hughes in at #19. Reed’s springboard crossbody bounces off of Romero and Hughes, meaning an easy elimination.

It’s Ace Austin in at #20, giving us MJF, Avalanche, Romero, Brazil, Horus, Swann, Hughes and Austin at the halfway point (I must have missed Wolf going out). A bunch of people get together to get rid of Hughes with Swann celebrating, earning himself the big elbow from Romero for the elimination. Jimmy Yuta is in at #21 as Avalanche is gone. Yuta superkicks Austin out and MJF is dropkicked through the ropes for a breather.

Jacob Fatu of Contra is in at #22 but here are Simon Gotch and Josef Samael through the crowd to clean house. A gas can to the head has Brazil in trouble and everyone but Romero is stacked up for the least connecting moonsault I’ve ever seen. Thankfully Fatu drops a backsplash to make up for some of it. The gas is poured on three guys and a lighter is pulled out, drawing in security to prevent the murder.

Fatu isn’t having that and hits the moonsault onto Yuta and Horus before leaving, seemingly eliminating himself. As usual, Contra is the best thing going around here with Fatu looking like a star. MJF comes in and steals pins on Reed, Yuta and Horus in the most perfect thing he could have done. Brian Pillman Jr. is in at #23 for a showdown with MJF. A superkick gets rid of MJF (Bocchini: “BRIAN PILLMAN YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE!”) and it’s Davey Boy Smith Jr. at #24. They shake hands but Romero is back up to prevent them from having to fight.

The double teaming works just fine though and Romero is out as Konnan and LAX (as in all three) are in at #25, #26 and #27 (I think?). Smith tosses Santana and Ortiz as Low Ki is in at #28. Konnan just leaves as Ki fights back with a springboard kick to both Harts. LA Park is in at #29 for the fourth or fifth instance of partners/stable mates in consecutive numbers. Park brings in a step stool as we hear about Fatu being arrested for fighting with the NYPD.

Emil Sitoci (Dutch wrestler from WXW) is in at #30 and hits a moonsault onto Pillman. That gives us Smith, Pillman, Ki, Park and Sitoci for a rather international grouping. Daga is in at #31 and goes straight for Low Ki (who nearly ripped his ear off a few months ago) with stomps and choking in the corner. Blue Meanie is in at #32 and it’s a bunch of eye pokes until Smith suplexes him down. Alexander Hammerstone (a monster freak of nature) is in at #33 to kick Pillman out and Sami Callihan (with the bat) is in at #34 to a big reaction. Callihan bats Meanie in the head for the pin, followed by Ki and Sitoci being tossed.

A running big boot eliminates Holliday but Hammerstone kicks Smith out to get us down to four. Callihan mocks Park’s dance and gets kicked in the face by Hammerstone but Park breaks up a cover on Warner for some reason. Warner and Hammerstone go to the apron with an eye poke getting rid of Hammerstone but Callihan gets rid of Warner, leaving us with Callihan vs. Park. Sami is ready so Park hits a spear and tosses Callihan out for the win at 47:13.

Rating: B-. It was better than last year’s as they didn’t have as many random entries, though having the wrestling world in town for the show helped out with that. Park winning is….weird, as he’s undefeated in MLW and makes sense as a #1 contender but he was just one of the people in the match for the second half of the match. Other than the spear at the end, I don’t remember anything he did the whole way through.

The rest of the match was pretty good with Contra looking like stars. It was a great way to keep them from being eliminated, though the gas can was a little much. They kept things moving well enough, even if forty people is a little much. This would have been better with just thirty entrants, though I can get why forty sounds better. Overall not bad, and it felt like a major event for a special show.

In a press conference, Tom Lawlor says he’ll fight anyone from any country and he’s ready for Contra. Speaking of Contra, here they are to lay him out, with the handcuffs still on Fatu’s wrists.

Overall Rating: B-. Overall this was almost all about the Battle Riot as the other three matches just kind of happened. It’s an entertaining two hours (or close to it) with MLW knowing how to do their bigger shows well, as usual. They were smart to go with so many people as it offered a little bit of everything and might make some people come back next time. Good show, though it still wasn’t quite at that top level that they have trouble hitting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor

Ring of Honor
Date: April 10, 2019
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman, Nick Aldis

We’re almost to the biggest Ring of Honor show ever and that means we should be getting an update on it in just a month or so because ROH can’t figure this out to save their lives. In other words, this is another lame duck show in a series of them, meaning we could be going in a variety of ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Alex Coughlin/Karl Fredericks/Clark Conners vs. Dalton Castle/The Boys

They’re Young Lions from the New Japan Los Angeles dojo, meaning black trunks and boots with a limited moveset. Dalton takes Conners down with ease to start but Conners says bring it on. The amateur wrestling goes to Castle (well duh) and an airplane spin sends Conners over for the tag to Alex. Both Boys tag themselves in at the same time and Coughlin has to deal with both of them at once, meaning a dropkick from #1.

Coughlin isn’t having any of the chops and drops #1 with some of his own. Back from a break with everything breaking down and the hot tag bringing in Castle to slug away at the Lions. Suplexes drop all three of them as Aldis can’t remember which Boy is which either. I mean, it’s not like it matters. Castle is alone in the ring and says to BRING HIM A BOY, both of whom are thrown onto a Lion, with both of them getting three turns each.

Back in and Conners gets powerbombed for two with Fredericks making the save. #2 gets the tag but is sent straight into the post, leaving Castle to take a double flapjack. Conners knocks #1 into the corner and a hard chop sets up the Boston crab. Castle makes a save of his own and pulls Conners outside, allowing #2 to take #1’s place. The small package finishes Fredericks at 10:08.

Rating: C+. I saw the Lions over Wrestlemania weekend and just like they did there, they impressed me here. Those guys have some skills to them and with more experience, they’re going to be fine. There’s something to be said here about having the Boys get the win though, as Castle’s bad run continues.

We look at Bandido beating PJ Black in January.

Black calls the loss an eye opener that made him see that the cheating wasn’t working for him. The rematch is in two weeks.

Bouncers vs. Voros Twins

That would be Chris and Patrick (twins), which is more information than we get about jobbers most of the time. They’re rather small and have lights in their hair as they seem very excited to be here. Aldis things the Twins, who don’t shake hands and offer a double thumbs down, are a little intoxicated. Patrick gets run over to start so Chris offers a failure of a distraction.

Another attempt lets Patrick chop block Bruiser down but the fans chant for beer. Since the Twins aren’t all that great, they allow Bruiser to roll over for the tag to Milonas so the big splash can connect in the corner. One heck of a clothesline puts Patrick on the floor and it’s the Last Call to Chris at 3:20.

Rating: D. The Bouncers are fine in a role like this and it’s about time they were turned face. How much booing do you think a team from the bar who loves to drink is going to draw? This is as good as it’s going to get for them, save for a token title shot somewhere in there. Just let the fans have fun and that’s all it needs to be.

We look at Silas Young attacking Jonathan Gresham at the Anniversary Show. Hence tonight’s main event.

The Briscoes are ready for Jeff Cobb and Willie Mack. What a random yet kind of awesome team.

Silas Young vs. Jonathan Gresham

Young’s headlock takeovers are countered with headscissors so he rakes the eyes instead. A test of strength goes to Young as well, with the boot to the ribs helping things out. They head outside for the exchange of chops with Gresham holding his own until they have to dive back in to beat the count.

Back from a break with a series of standing switches until Young realizes he’s in over his head. They head outside again with Gresham hitting a dive, only to miss the high crossbody back inside. A suplex sets up a double arm crank on Gresham, who gets out of it as easily as something that is easy to get out of. Young tosses him to the floor in a heap and a hard whip into the corner keeps Gresham’s back in trouble.

We take another break and come back with Gresham getting two off an O’Connor roll and spinning into a DDT to drop Young again. Gresham hits a running basement dropkick in the corner before bridging up into a failed backslide attempt. Young’s rollup gets two and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. A Death Valley Driver into a bad looking double stomp gives Young two more and they’re both down again. The hanging swinging suplex gets two more but Gresham starts in on the leg.

For some reason Gresham is fine with a slugout, with some running forearms getting two each. Young gets sent into the ropes for a snap German suplex into another forearm for two more. Gresham sends him outside for a suicide dive and a shooting star press….only gets two again. It’s straight into an ankle lock until Young rolls him into the referee. A low blow into a rollup gives Young the pin at 21:50.

Rating: B-. It was rather long, but that fits well around a promotion like this with the wrestling being the focal point. Gresham is getting better and better every week while Young is the same villain he’s been for a long time. The match wasn’t great, but I can go for a long match for a change instead of squeezing in as many matches as you can onto a show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a wrestling heavy show as we continue to have almost nothing storyline based for a few weeks. Once the pay per view actually takes place though, we’re going to be in for a long wait, as tends to be the case around here. That being said, the stories coming out of the Supershow aren’t the strongest in the world so the wait doesn’t sound too bad. Pretty good show here though, with the wrestling getting the focus.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: April 9, 2019
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Aiden English, Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

We’re past Wrestlemania and in this case that means we have a new Cruiserweight Champion in Tony Nese. I’m not sure how long he’s going to hold the title but you can imagine that Buddy Murphy is going to be coming for it, at least while he’s still on this show. Other than that it’s hard to say what we’ll be getting here, as 205 Live doesn’t always treat this show as anything special. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Nese winning the title and a look back at everything he’s gone through to get here. Well done.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: Murphy gets his rematch.

Jack Gallagher vs. Humberto Carrillo

Drew Gulak joins commentary. Gallagher’s wristlock is countered into an armbar so Gallagher switches over to an ankle hold instead. They go into the exchange of monkey flips with Carrillo landing on his feet for a big smile. A neck snap across the top rope puts Carrillo down and Gallagher sends him head first into the corner for a bonus. Carrillo reverses a suplex into a small package for two but Gallagher knocks him right back down with ease.

Jack misses the running corner dropkick though and gets high crossbodied down. There’s a dropkick to send Gallagher outside for a running flip dive (Gulak: “Kid don’t learn.”). Back in and Carrillo hits a missile dropkick to the back of Gallagher’s head, followed by a handspring armdrag to pull Gallagher off the mat (that’s a new one). Carrillo heads up again but this time Gulak shoves him down for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: C. Carrillo’s offense continues to look great, but at the same time you can only do this same high flying vs. evil mat wrestling story so many times before the impact goes away. It feels like something we’ve seen way too many times now. At least the match we got was good enough while it lasted, even if it’s designed to keep the story going.

Post match Gulak stays on Carrillo but Gallagher knocks Drew down for the save.

Murphy says he’s getting the title back tonight.

Nese says no he isn’t.

Oney Lorcan is in Drake Maverick’s office when Cedric Alexander interrupts. Cedric says the rematch better be next week and Drake confirms that it is. That’s fine with Lorcan, because Cedric told him that Oney was the future of the division. Next week, he’s getting rid of Alexander.

Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Nese is defending after winning the title two days earlier. They take turns shoving each other around until Murphy goes with a headlock for the most basic of advantages. That goes nowhere so Nese shoves him down and gets two off a knee lift. Another toss into the corner has Buddy holding his knee so the referee holds Nese back. And yes, it is in fact goldbricking as Nese gets sent into the post to put him in trouble.

Murphy throws him over the announcers’ table and a knee to the head gets two on the champ. After a suplex gets two, Nese fights back with left hands but gets backdropped out to the floor. One heck of a running flip dive takes Nese down again and it’s off to the chinlock. Nese drives him into the corner for the save and knocks Murphy off the top into the barricade for a heck of a crash. That means a running flip dive from Nese and some more trips into the barricade.

Back in and a super hurricanrana gives the champ two and the springboard moonsault with Murphy in the ropes is good for the same. A sitout pumphandle powerslam gets a third two but Murphy is right back with a superkick to catch Nese in the corner. That means a heck of a sitout powerbomb but the knee is countered into a suplex to send Murphy into the corner this time. They fight to the apron with Murphy hitting his own knee to the face, leaving Nese mostly dead.

Murphy goes for a powerbomb but has to break the count, allowing Nese to backdrop him onto the announcers’ table (which contains a pancake). That’s still not enough for a countout as Murphy slides back in and hits a powerbomb faceplant for two more. Murphy’s Law gets the same and Murphy is stunned, as he should be. A pair of knees to Nese’s face just fires him up enough to hit a reverse hurricanrana, setting up a pair of running knees to finish Murphy at 20:03.

Rating: B. This felt like the epic match that they were going for but more importantly, it feels like Murphy’s goodbye to the show. There is no reason for him to stick around here and with the Superstar Shakeup coming next week, it would make all the sense in the world to move him up here. Nese looked good here and can have these longer form matches, though I have no idea how they think he has the character stuff to back them up.

A bunch of replays wrap us up.

Overall Rating: B+. It wasn’t quite some blow away episode but the main event felt big and important, which is more than they usually offer most weeks. There will likely be some changes in next week’s Shakeup, mainly in the form of Murphy, though I wonder if anyone is going to be sent here, either from NXT or the main shows. They’re doing well at the moment though and that’s a nice way to wrap up the week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Who said wrestling is a modern art?

https://www.archaeology.org/issues/139-1407/trenches/2178-oxyrhynchus-papyrus-wrestling-contract

What you’re looking at is a contract from the year 267 AD, saying that two teenagers would be having a wrestling match and one of them would take a dive in exchange for money.  So yes, wrestling with fixed results goes back nearly 2000 years.  Check the link for the full text, which even goes into the amounts paid for the loss.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2004
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and hopefully this show is a little more inspiring than Monday’s efforts. Survivor Series isn’t looking like the most thrilling show in the world but under the right circumstances, Smackdown’s half could be a little bit better. Hopefully this week features a little less Tough Enough, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As promised last week, we open with the Tough Enough guys waiting for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. Two women from the Tonight Show are here to call the action, but first Al Snow needs to give Chris Nawrocki a chance to quit due to having a broken rib. He says no so it’s time to announce the first cut: Nick Mitchell, who was dressed as a cowboy for the Sex Test, complete with the pockets cut out of the back of his jeans with nothing underneath.

With that out of the way, here’s Torrie with a riding crop. Mizanin, in a Santa hat and Santa boxer shorts, holds the ropes open for her. Each one of them has fifteen seconds to make out with a WWE Diva, who will then pick the winner for a very special surprise. Torrie brings out Dawn Marie (in very little clothing) as I hope people aren’t falling for this so far. And yeah, Torrie brings out Mae Young for the least surprising surprise ever.

Puder goes first and gets pulled down as the Tonight Show women offer absolutely nothing. Mae jumps into Justice’s arms and gets spanked, sending Tazz into hysterics. Rodimer wants a peck and gets taken down to the mat. Reeves gets the same but winds up on top of Mae.

Mizanin has condoms and gets on the mat as well, where he spanks Mae a bit. She chokes him for an image I never needed to see. Nawrocki goes last and lays down slowly with Mae kind of laying on him. Puder wins and gets a lap dance from Mae. In case you didn’t get the joke clearly enough earlier. This took over fifteen minutes for the same Mae Young joke over and over and over.

Chavo Guerrero yells at his old friend when Rey Mysterio comes in. It’s nothing to worry about.

Spike Dudley/Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Kidman offers an early distraction so Spike can jump Chavo to start. That doesn’t go well for Spike as it’s already off to Rey for the quick legdrop. Spike sends him into the corner though and it’s off to Kidman for the first time. The top rope hurricanrana takes Kidman down and Chavo comes in for the long awaited revenge.

Spike cuts him off though and the heels take over on Chavo this time. A whip into the barricade sets up a chinlock with a knee in Chavo’s back as the pace slows. Back up and Kidman clotheslines Spike by mistake, allowing Chavo to suplex Kidman onto him. The hot tag brings in Rey and it’s a springboard seated senton to Chavo. The basement dropkick hits Spike as everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Kidman and it’s the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Spike.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill match here as it’s all but guaranteed that Mysterio isn’t winning the title on Sunday. Spike isn’t exactly inspiring as champion but it’s not like there are any other fresh options at the moment. We’ve seen Rey and Chavo with the title so many times now and it’s becoming more and more clear that this division doesn’t offer much at all.

Orlando Jordan comes up to Josh Matthews to offer an apology. Josh looks scared as Jordan talks about not taking him seriously, even though Josh was a Tough Enough finalist. Jordan has to make him shake his hand and slaps Josh for the lack of respect. My goodness we’re still going with this?

Post break Booker T. brings the bloody Josh to Theodore Long’s office where Josh says he wants Jordan tonight. Oh and he wants Booker in his corner too. The match is made.

Team Guerrero is ready for their matches tonight, even though Eddie doesn’t have a fourth member yet. Eddie looks a little nervous but he’s fine in Texas.

Raw Rebound.

Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews

Cole: “I can’t believe this is happening.” Preach it brother. Jordan is as cocky as he should be and puts an attacking Josh on top without much effort. A high crossbody is blocked as well so Josh scores with a dropkick to the back for some more luck. Some rollups get two each and it’s time to head outside for the four way staredown.

Back in and JBL trips Josh as the referee yells at Booker, sending Cole completely over the edge. The chinlock doesn’t last long but we stop so Booker can superkick JBL. Now the high crossbody gives Josh two as JBL gets up on the apron. That’s enough of a distraction so Josh can hit Jordan low, setting up Booker’s ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. What is this supposed to accomplish? Booker is costing JBL’s loser lackey matches to a commentator. How does that make me want to see the title match any more? The match was terrible because Jordan is awful and Josh isn’t a wrestler. What were they expecting from this one? At least it wasn’t all that long.

Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

Hold on though as here are Carlito and Jesus to do commentary. Jindrak kicks Van Dam in the corner to start and the split legged moonsault misses. It’s off to Reigns for stomps in the same corner and this one goes a little better for Rob, with a few kicks putting Reigns down for a change. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo to take over but a Jindrak distraction breaks up the Three Amigos.

Back from a break so abrupt that Cole can’t finish his “this match will continue” with Carlito having spat apple on him. Eddie fights out of a chinlock and nails a flapjack but stops to yell at Carlito. Reigns uses the distraction to jump Van Dam and the villains take over again. The chinlock goes on before Jindrak and Reigns take turns stomping.

Rob slips out of a powerslam and brings in Eddie for the headscissors to Jindrak. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Three Amigos on Reigns as Rolling Thunder hits Jindrak. Carlito gets dropkicked off the apron but Rob misses a dive. With the referee distracted, Eddie hits the apron with a chair and throws it to Jesus so Carlito and Jesus are gone. Back in and stereo frog splashes give Eddie and Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and played up the idea that Team Eddie is in a bit of trouble due to being down a member. Then again, is it really any secret about who the last member is going to be? And are Jindrak and Reigns combined equal to any member of Team Eddie? This is a pretty one sided match on paper and watching Eddie and Rob vs. two goons wasn’t the most inspiring build.

Post match Eddie announces the pretty obvious: John Cena is the fourth member of the team.

Post break Carlito yells at Long about what happened but Theodore doesn’t want to hear it because Jesus was in the same club that night. Cena is going to be in the ring at Survivor Series and Carlito has to get over it.

Recap of the Tough Enough shenanigans earlier tonight.

How to vote for the Tough Enough guys.

JBL rants about getting out of Texas because he wanted a better life. The only reason Booker T. was the WCW World Champion was because JBL wasn’t in WCW. JBL isn’t losing and if by some miracle he does, he’s out of WWE. He lists off everything that he’s gone through as champion and isn’t losing on Sunday. Instead, he’ll be putting Booker through more than Booker ever thought possible because that’s what JBL does. Having JBL do the big promo for the title match probably isn’t the right idea.

We look back at Heidenreich attacking Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas last week.

Survivor Series rundown.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is out with Kurt, who says that Team Eddie has no chance because no one ca beat him. Team Eddie comes out to even things up and we take a break. Back with Angle not wanting to get in the ring until Jindrak offers a distraction. The cheap shot from behind doesn’t work so Show blasts Angle in the chest with the chops.

Another distraction also fails, with Angle going back first into the post. Back in and Angle gets in a shot to the knee to set up a choke but everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Team Angle gets the better of it as the ankle lock goes on. Show breaks it up and grabs the chokeslam, drawing in Jindrak and Reigns for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, though it was nice of them to not wait around very long before the big brawl between everyone on the floor. You know that’s where they’re going so why bother with anything more than they had to? Show vs. Angle is fine enough for something like this and Show continues to look good since his return.

Post match Angle goes for the ankle again and might have broken it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Maven or the lack of a not very interesting stipulation, but the Smackdown Survivor Series match is a lot more interesting than the Raw version. Yeah it’s pretty one sided on paper, but at least they’re having a more interesting build.

The rest of the show wasn’t all that great and the JBL vs. Booker feud is more about Josh Matthews and Orlando Jordan than the World Title, but I want to see this half of Sunday’s show a lot more than the Raw half. Probably because what is being built up here is actually being blown off on Sunday instead of over the next month. Not a good show, but I want to see part of Survivor Series more than I did before, so points for that at least.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

https://www.facebook.com/AB-Morales-A-Blog-About-Wrestling-Anime-Games-1391471394284210/

This is a page run by AB Morales, who you should know from 787 Talk.  He’s smart on just about everything, including wrestling of course.  Check him out and follow him because he’s rather worth a read.

I was going to post this elsewhere but I never got around to it so here it is.

Earlier this week, WWE announced that the main event of WrestleMania 35 will feature a women’s match for the first time in history as Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey will defend the title against Charlotte and Becky Lynch. This alone is worthy of a headline story, but it made me think about the other end of the show.

In a documentary on WrestleMania 32, Kevin Owens said that if you can’t be last, you want to be first. The opening match of WrestleMania is a very important part of the card as it sets the table for the rest of the evening and often can be a memorable match in its own right. Today I’m going to look at the thirty four opening matches in WrestleMania history and see which worked and which didn’t, along with seeing which was the best at its job (hint: it might not be what you think). Also note I’m only talking about the show’s official opener and not dark matches or Kickoff Show matches.

Wrestlemania I: Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

We’re starting off big here as it’s the first match in WrestleMania history, which certainly has a lot of weight in its own right. It’s also a weird one to start with as WrestleMania is far from what the show would become. Really, it’s a souped up house show from its era so a match like this isn’t all that surprising to have. Santana wins in a short match over the masked Buddy Rode with the Figure Four, but Santana is so popular that it gets the fans even more hyped up. Absolutely nothing special to it, but it did its job well.

WrestleMania II: Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We’ll continue the odd choices to start as this is fallout from a few stories, including Orndorff vs. Mr. Fuji, who was managing Muraco. The match is a nice brawl, though a little harder to watch with Orndorff’s full on racist gestured at Fuji. It even ends in a double countout, making it more of a “come back next time” match than anything definite. It’s not even all that good, making this a weird opener for a decisively weird WrestleMania.

WrestleMania III: Can Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton Jr.

I’ve long since called this perhaps the perfect WrestleMania opener, which may sound crazy. Here’s where we get back to doing the right job though. This match, which would be a dark match today at best, is a fun little five minute match that gets the crowd going but doesn’t take anything away from the rest of the show. That’s where a lot of openers lose me: if it’s the best match of the card, it’s all downhill from there. There are certainly better matches, but this was a great choice to open the show and it still works perfectly well today. I’m not sure if it’s going to hold up, but it’s the right match in the right place with the good guys winning.

WrestleMania IV: Battle Royal

We’ll get out of these weird matches eventually. WrestleMania IV was built entirely around the tournament to crown a new WWF Champion so a lot of people, including these twenty, were left out in the cold. Therefore, in what would later become a tradition, a bunch of people were thrown into a battle royal, with newcomer Bad News Brown eliminating Bret Hart to win. The post match brawl was supposed to set up Hart’s face run but it was still a few years off.

WrestleMania V: Hercules vs. King Haku

Then there’s this one, which is the definition of a nothing match with no specific feud or story coming in and Haku’s King’s Crown not on the line so he could take the loss here. Neither guy was really doing anything at the moment but they were thrown in this match for the sake of having a match. Then again, that was the case for almost the entire card out of a handful of matches, so this is one of the weaker entries on the list.

WrestleMania VI: Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

This is in the same vein of the previous match with no particular reason for the match to be taking place other than they need something to start the show. It is however a rare heel victory with Martel making Ware give up. There’s nothing to say about this one and, much like the previous year’s match, there’s no particular reason for most of the card outside of one match so it’s not that surprising.

WrestleMania VII: Rockers vs. Barbarian/Haku

We’ve moved into a new era of the show and the company as a whole with the match changing up a little bit. This one was more like the WrestleMania III edition with a fast paced match between a good and evil team with the villains going down. The major change of pace here though is both teams are quite a bit better, making for a better match up and down. The Rockers were awesome at this point and getting even better, which you’ll get used to soon enough.

WrestleMania VIII: Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador Tito Santana

Expect to get used to Michaels for a bit here as the WWF realized that he was one of the best things around and one of the best table setters that they had to offer. Then you put him in there with one of the best workers in the company with Santana (who was a bullfighter for some reason) and how could this not be at least good? Again no story, but Michaels’ heel push was just getting started and he needed a win like this.

WrestleMania IX: Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels(c) vs. Tatanka

How did we go eight years without a title defense to open the show? Michaels opens the show for the third year in a row and this time he’s against the undefeated Tatanka, though this match was more about the managers. Michaels had Luna Vachon (for some reason) and Tatanka had Michaels’ old manager Sherri Martel, which would have seemed to be a better match. Tatanka won by countout to continue his undefeated streak but not win the title, which is one of your first storyline advancing openers. A long, but rather good match as Michaels continues to be the best way to get things started.

WrestleMania X: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Ok we might have a winner here. This was all about the backstory as Owen had claimed to be stuck in Bret’s shadow and wanting to prove that he could defeat his brother. He would go on to do just that in an instant classic if not a masterpiece, pinning Bret completely clean. This was made even more interesting as Bret won the WWF Title later that night, setting Owen up as the obvious #1 contender, giving us a series of great matches throughout the summer. This is a hard one to top and it may never actually be topped because it’s that good on all levels.

WrestleMania XI: Blu Brothers vs. Allied Powers

With that classic out of the way, we’re back to another nothing match which was just there because something had to open the show. WrestleMania XI is often viewed as the low point of the series and while the opener isn’t the worst, it’s certainly nothing worth remembering. Of course the good guys won, but did anyone really care that they did? Just a nothing match that was merely there to fill in part of the card, which I thought we had passed up.

WrestleMania XII: Camp Cornette vs. Ahmed Johnson/Vader/Jake Roberts

There was a lot of work that needed to be done to get the company out of the funk it went into around this time and it wasn’t close to being done yet. This was a step up from what we had seen the previous year as there was an actual point to it and the fans wanted to see Cornette get what was coming to him but had to wait until later as his guys survive again. It’s not a great match by any stretch and, like previous entries, this show was all about one match.

WrestleMania XIII: New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. Godwinns

Oh my tag team wrestling was a rough sit in the 1990s. This was another really bad stretch for the titles (which tends to be the norm rather than the exception) with four midcard teams fighting for a future shot at the Tag Team Titles. To make things even worse, it’s an elimination match, meaning we had to sit through three falls. As the best team, the Headbangers won as they should have, but egads it was a rough sit. Things would get better for the division, but it was going to take a lot of time.

WrestleMania XIV: Tag Team Battle Royal

See what I mean about it needing to get better? This was another #1 contenders match, though the big story here was the return of the Legion of Doom as LOD 2000 with Sunny as their new manager. The team didn’t do anything long term, but seeing them come back here was a cool moment that helped give the division a jolt by winning while we waited on the good teams to come around.

WrestleMania XV: Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn(c) vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow

And now we get to the really bad ideas with Gunn, who had nothing to do with the hardcore division, winning the title to defend here, while his partner and hardcore specialist the Road Dogg won the Intercontinental Title and defended it against the people Gunn had been feuding against. Now some of you might find this dumb, but that’s the beauty of booking for the sake of a SWERVE: it doesn’t have to make sense because it’s a SWERVE! Thankfully Holly won the title back to end the failed experiment, which was never spoken of again.

WrestleMania XVI: D’Lo Brown/Godfather vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Things didn’t get much better in the next year as we had this match for the sake of Ice-T playing Godfather and Brown to the ring. That’s all well and good…but then they lost. You know, because the way to get the crowd going for the night is to have the popular and fun team lose a meaningless match to a team that would do a grand total of nothing going forward. All the sense in the world.

WrestleMania XVII: Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho(c) vs. William Regal

Now THIS is more like it. This was a feud built around Jericho finding Regal boring, so he, ahem, relieved himself in Regal’s teapot and then dressed up as Doink for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Regal, the Commissioner at the time, tortured Jericho by having him wrestle a bunch of handicap matches, setting himself up as the #1 contender for the title. They then went out and beat the fire out of each other with Jericho winning (as he should have) to get the show off to a good start.

WrestleMania XVIII: Intercontinental Title: William Regal(c) vs. Rob Van Dam

I mean it worked well enough last year. This one didn’t have the build of Regal vs. Jericho but it was a nice title change to open the show in front of a huge crowd and that’s all it needed to be. Sometimes a title change for the sake of a title change is acceptable and that was the case here with the popular Van Dam winning the title and shutting up the annoying Regal.

WrestleMania XIX: Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy(c) vs. Rey Mysterio

I don’t think there’s much arguing against the idea that Mysterio is the greatest cruiserweight of all time (save for maybe Jushin Thunder Liger). Having him in the division made perfect sense, though having him lose here was a little confusing. Hardy as the oversized cruiserweight was funny, but there came a point to have him lose the title. That point was here to Mysterio, not two months later to Mysterio.

WrestleMania XX: United States Title: Big Show(c) vs. John Cena

Now we get into the historic stuff on two fronts. First of all, Big Show’s title reign is historically bad with less than five title defenses in a five month reign. That’s not what matters of course though, as this was the night Cena won his first of many (and I do mean many) titles in the company with the fans being more than ready to cheer the heck out of him. That’s what WWE gave them and it worked like a charm. Not a great match, but the exact right booking.

WrestleMania XXI: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is the more storyline driven match as Guerrero and Mysterio were SmackDown Tag Team Champions but had a match against each other for the sake of competition. The idea here was that Guerrero couldn’t beat Mysterio and the frustration set in. I would go into a deeper look at the story…but it’s Mysterio vs. Guerrero at WrestleMania. Do I need to explain this one further?

WrestleMania XXII: Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Big Show(c) vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

We’re going back a few years here with a title match for the sake of having a title match, though in this case the titles didn’t change hands. Kane and Big Show were the monster team (well duh) and Carlito and Masters were their meal for the day. The titles would change hands the next night, but you don’t want to start a show like this with the monsters losing to some cheating heels.

WrestleMania XXIII: Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Edge vs. Finlay vs. Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

It’s Money in the Bank time and this is a good example of a match that shouldn’t have opened the show. Money in the Bank is one of the biggest matches that is going to be taking place on the card and anything that comes after it is going to feel like a downgrade. They were smart to have the popular Kennedy win here, but this was the wrong place on the card for the match and there was no way to get back to this level for a few matches.

WrestleMania XXIV: Finlay vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting one as I’ve always liked it and it certainly gets a lot of praise. That being said, it’s not hard to see why. It’s a Belfast Brawl (street fight) and there’s something so safe yet efficient about it. The match isn’t great and it’s been done a lot better before, but they do things at a very nice and steady pace, making the match do exactly what it’s supposed to. It’s nothing great or even very good, but it works rather well and I can see why it’s so well liked, even though the rather evil JBL won.

WrestleMania XXV: CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Christian vs. Kane vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Mark Henry vs. Shelton Benjamin

Money in the Bank again and, just like last time, I’m not sure on the line of thinking here. Do you really want to go with something that can pick the crowd up later this early on? There are other things to use instead of this match for the opener, and having the Kid Rock concert after it didn’t help things. This is one of the many reasons that WrestleMania XXV isn’t well remembered and it was downhill from here (save for that all time classic later on). Yeah Punk winning helped, but it wasn’t enough to fix the show’s problems.

WrestleMania XXVI: SmackDown Tag Team Titles: Big Show/The Miz(c) vs. John Morrison/R-Truth

I’m not sure what to make of this one as the match doesn’t even last long enough to think much of it. The match doesn’t even last three and a half minutes and seems like it was thrown onto the card for the sake of getting the four people onto the show. It’s something that could have been taken off the show for the sake off freeing up some space, but I guess it’s good enough for an opener, even though it’s not even worth the time it got. The champs retained, but it’s hard to even remember.

WrestleMania XXVII: SmackDown World Title: Edge(c) vs. Alberto Del Rio

Now this one has always been confusing to me as it just doesn’t feel like a match that should be opening WrestleMania. This feels like a match that should have been one of the last three or four matches on the card but, possibly due to Edge’s legitimate neck injury that would force him to retire shortly thereafter, it opened the show instead. That being said, it’s really not very good in the first place so it’s certainly on the low end of the list and made even worse by Edge’s surprising win. If he knew he was done, why wasn’t he dropping the title here?

WrestleMania XXVIII: SmackDown World Title: Daniel Bryan(c) vs. Sheamus

What in the world can I say here? The match is literally the bell, a Brogue kick and a pin to make Sheamus the champion in eighteen seconds. That’s hardly enough to go anywhere and while it did wind up helping move Bryan up the card (eventually), it felt like a pounding the desk moment and that’s not the best way to start WrestleMania.

WrestleMania XXIX: Shield vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show

Ah the Shield. This is the kind of act that the company could ride for years and as it turns out, that’s exactly what they did. The team was still on their undefeated streak here as we looked for someone to defeat them. Orton and company were another all-star team who couldn’t get it done, but the WrestleMania debut was more than enough for the Shield, which was the entire point because they looked like stars.

WrestleMania XXX: Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H

This might be the most impressive opening match in the show’s history, as you have to remember what came before. WrestleMania XXX opened with Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and the Rock in the ring at the same time. What in the world is supposed to follow something like that? Bryan and Triple H managed to get the fans into the palm of their hands and it was incredible with Bryan winning to advance to the triple threat title match later in the night. Great match, great story, and a better accomplishment.

WrestleMania XXXI: Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett(c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth

We get back to the Money in the Bank formula of starting with the huge mess of a match, possibly to avoid the issues of having to set up the ladders during the show. This was a huge mess of a match with a bunch of insane spots until Bryan, fresh off his return from injury, won the title for the feel good moment to open the show.

WrestleMania XXXII: Intercontinental Title: Kevin Owens(c) vs. Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz vs. Sami Zayn vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust

Remember what I said about all the previous year’s match? It’s the same thing here but with Ryder’s feel good moment instead of Bryan’s. This was another big mess of a match that should have had half the people in it (cut one of the wrestlers in half or something) for the sake of building something up but remember that EVERYONE HAS TO BE ON WRESTLEMANIA so it was the only way.

WrestleMania XXXIII: Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

So yeah, McMahon returned the previous year and helped move a lot of sales for WrestleMania XXXII so it was decided that he needed to be around every year to help boost the audience. The problem is that he had to wrestle a match here, and that became a problem. The match was good, but it felt like everything was catering to McMahon, which dragged things down a lot. It was better than expected, though that’s not exactly a high bar to clear.

WrestleMania XXXIV: Intercontinental Title: The Miz(c) vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

We’ll wrap it up here with another match that was there to open the show hot and little more. Rollins and Balor had both beaten Miz leading up to this and the question now was who would take the title from him. That would be Rollins, and that’s certainly one way to go. Rollins was back to full strength after his knee injury and it was great to see the old version back again.

So those are all of the WrestleMania openers and like I said: it depends on what you’re looking for. If you want a great match, it’s Hart vs. Hart or Triple H vs. Bryan. If you want a spectacle, pick a ladder match. For something that just gets the show going, there are more choices than worth naming. The best overall though….yeah it’s hard to argue Hart vs. Hart. With the wrestling and the storytelling combined, it’s impossible to beat and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

There are so many WrestleMania openers over the years (about thirty four of them) and they all offer a little something. Some of them might not be as good as others, but they all have one thing in common: they have to get things ready for the rest of the evening and that’s one of the most important things all night long. If the fans aren’t interested, it’s going to be a rough night, but if you can start them off hot, it’s WrestleMania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

So in the middle of all the insanity that is Wrestlemania weekend, we have this show in pursuit of anyone remembering that it’s actually taking place. That’s kind of a shame actually as things are pretty decent at the moment with Johnny Impact’s overdue heel turn already paying dividends. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap serves its lone function.

Opening sequence.

Petey Williams vs. Trey Miguel vs. Idris Abraham vs. Jake Crist vs. Aiden Prince vs. Ace Austin

Great. Williams is back. One fall to a finish so everything is insane to start with Austin being the last man standing, earning him a quadruple superkick until it’s Austin vs. Abraham alone in the ring. Williams replaces Abraham in a hurry with Petey grabbing a German suplex for two. Now it’s Prince taking Williams’ place and suplexing Austin for two. Abraham and his huge afro are back in with Trey spinning away from him. Crist is back in with a Death Valley Driver but Abraham drops him with a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Not to be outdone, Austin drops a frog splash for two on Abraham and drops Miguel with a swinging neckbreaker. Williams’ swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Miguel and the Sharpshooter goes on. That’s broken up so it’s O Canada to Crist in the corner. Austin puts Prince over Crist in the corner and it’s the Tower of Doom to bring everyone down. The Canadian Destroyer gives Petey two on Austin and it’s Prince flip diving onto Austin and Abraham on the floor. Back in and Williams hits a super Canadian Destroyer to finish Crist at 8:35.

Rating: C+. So you know every match with all of these people thrown into a match with everyone hitting their spots and moving on? This was the most recent one of them that I’ve seen. There’s nothing to separate them from the rest of their kind and Petey Williams is far from inspiring.

LAX and Konnan want to use Full Metal Mayhem to earn respect from the Lucha Bros.

Taya Valkyrie doesn’t care that she lost to Jordynne Grace last week. Madison Rayne comes in and says she wants a title match. Jordynne comes in and wants her rematch for the title but Taya makes a #1 contenders match for later tonight for the Rebellion title match.

Announcers’ preview.

OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack

Sami Callihan/Madman Fulton for OVE. Swann, now clean shaven, goes straight after Callihan to start and flips over him into the dropkick. Mack comes in, shrugs off a cheap shot from Fulton, and hits a 619 to Callihan’s ribs. Fulton’s second interference works a bit better and it’s Sami scoring with a clothesline to send us to a break. Back with Fulton suplex slamming Swann for two but Mack comes right back with a spinebuster.

A standing moonsault gets two but Fulton breaks up the hot tag attempt. The neck crank goes on for a bit until the break allows the hot tag off to Swann. Everything breaks down and Fulton is hurricanranaed to the floor, leaving Callihan to take a Lethal Injection. The Phoenix Splash misses and everyone but Mack heads outside, meaning it’s a big flip dive onto all three. Back in and Mack breaks up a Cactus Piledriver but gets slammed down by Fulton. The Cactus Piledriver finishes Swann at 14:01.

Rating: C+. This was mainly about making Fulton look like a monster and….they only kind of did that. Granted when you’re as big as Fulton, the monster thing is already included so it’s not the biggest deal in the world. This story has been going on for a long time now and I’d assume that Callihan gets the title soon. Like at Rebellion maybe.

Post match the beatdown is on until Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a chair.

Johnny Impact gets annoyed at being asked questions about Brian Cage and threatens to John Stossel Menendez. Killer Kross comes up and puts his arm around Menendez, saying he should get a title shot someday. Johnny looks worried.

Moose invades the Rascalz’ room and brings a female friend, with an invitation to bring a bunch of animals in as well.

GWN Classic Moment of the Week: Full Metal Mayhem at Bound For Glory 2011.

Rosemary goes to Allie’s grave and rants about Kiera Hogan and James Mitchell, plus her father Kevin Sullivan, all of whom are to blame. Then she disappears.

Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne

The winner gets the Knockouts Title shot t at Rebellion. Grace throws her down with ease to start and then does it again even harder. Rayne’s middle rope crossbody bounces off of her so a rollup works a little better. An enziguri gives Rayne two but Grace Pounces her right back down.

Some knees to the back set up a not quite giant swing as Rayne’s back is in trouble. A backbreaker into a side slam keep Rayne down but the Vader Bomb misses. Rayne gets two off a high crossbody and she gets in a rear naked choke. That’s broken up as well and a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb gives Grace two. Grace has had it and the Grace Driver finishes Rayne at 8:48.

Rating: C. This is why Rayne was brought back in. She’s not the best in the world, but you’re going to get a good match from her and everything she does looks fine. Couple that with a resume and a pretty good promo and it’s easy to see the value in her. Put her in there with the newer talent and see what she can do for them.

Post match here’s Taya for a fight with Grace but Johnny comes out for a distract so Taya can beat her down. Johnny goes up for the Countdown To Impact but Cage makes the save.

Josh Alexander is coming and is presented like a psychopathic killer in amateur wrestling gear.

Josh recruits Ethan Page as his partner.

Rohit Raju vs. Fallah Bahh

Raju has both Singhs with him but there’s no KM. Bahh jumps over an early legsweep attempt and hits the spinning belly to belly. The charge hits post but Bahh is fine with a Samoan drop. There’s a running crossbody to set up the Banzai Drop but Singh knocks Bahh down, giving Raju the pin with feet on the ropes at 2:59.

Post match here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to slap Raju and it’s a double splash in the corner. Scarlett’s running hip attack (after pulling the dress up) lets her celebrate with Bahh.

The Deaners, a couple of rednecks, get Impact contracts.

Swann vs. Callihan for the X-Division Title is set for Rebellion.

Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame career and the current feud with Tessa Blanchard.

Tessa Blanchard says Gail was great in the era of bra and panties match. Now people like Gail and Madison are trying to relive their glory days. This is Tessa’s era and in this era, Gail isn’t a legend.

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards vs. LAX

Before the match, Konnan gets in an argument with Drake and punches him, meaning it’s an early ejection. The fight is on and we do that really annoying thing of taking a break less than twenty seconds in. Back with Santana punching Eddie until a blind tag lets Drake come in and take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Ortiz and it’s back to Eddie for a headbutt, which might hurt him more given the thickness of that hair. Drake gets two off a neckbreaker but Ortiz is right back with a middle rope dropkick for a breather.

It’s back to Santana to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A tiger driver gives Eddie two on Santana with Ortiz making the save. That means a rolling cutter into a Codebreaker into a superkick into the double belly to back faceplant for two on Eddie with Drake making the save. The Street Sweeper is loaded up but here are the Lucha Bros for a distraction. That’s enough for Drake to get in a shot with Kenny, setting up the Boston Knee Party to finish Ortiz at 10:55.

Post match the Lucha Bros runs in and beat down LAX, with Santana being powerbombed through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Nothing was bad on here, though nothing was must see either. That’s not a bad place to be for a show like this with very little importance. Rebellion is looking like any Impact pay per view: a solid card up and down but nothing that I’m overly excited to see. I’ll take a good but not great card over nothing shows though so they’ve moved to a nice new reality.

Results

Petey Williams b. Trey Miguel, Idris Abraham, Jake Crist, Aiden Prince and Ace Austin – Super Canadian Destroyer to Crist

OVE b. Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Swann

Jordynne Grace b. Madison Rayne – Grace Driver

Fallah Bahh b. Rohit Raju – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake b. LAX – Boston Knee Party to Ortiz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Game Changer Wrestling

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 3 Part 1
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

We open with a kid in a living room shouting something that I can’t understand at a camera. This isn’t going to go well is it?

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show.

Joey Janela vs. Marko Stunt

This is Joey’s first match since he destroyed his knee in September and Stunt’s first since November when I believe he broke his leg. Stunt gets a special entrance video where someone calls him, saying Joey wants him on the show. Janela also has Penelope Ford with him and that’s always a good thing. Stunt has a rather awesome entrance to Pat Benetar’s We Belong and you can see how happy he is to be back.

They shake hands and we’re ready to go with the crowd near molten. Joey takes him down and runs the ropes, even as Marko steps to the side and watches him. Marko kicks him in the knee, becoming the closest thing to a heel as you can get around here. Joey hits a running kick of his own and flips Stunt off but it’s his show so it’s more ok. Back up and Marko’s crucifix is reversed into a German suplex and Stunt lays on the back of his head for a bit, looking rather dead.

The fans request and receive even more German suplexes for two, setting up Janela throwing him over the top and into the crowd. Janela thinks the crowd surfing looks fun so he goes out as well for a chop off, all while the fans are holding them up. They head back to the ring with Stunt hitting a running flip dive off the apron. Another suicide dive takes Stunt out again but he’s fine enough to miss a running knee back inside.

Rating: C+. This is a show where the crowd is going to carry the matches WAY further than they deserve on their own merits and that was the case here. This was all about the dives and seeing Stunt take the big bumps and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s reminiscent of ECW in a way: these guys might not be making it to the top level anytime soon, but they’re stars here and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Joey raises Stunt’s hand and Penelope hugs him. She’s rather forgiving.

The ring announcer points out the bars around the arena in information the people there already know.

Here’s Tony Deppen for a chat. I don’t know Deppen but he comes out to We Built This City, which was in the Muppets so I like him already. Deppen yells about being eliminated from the Cluster**** (big battle royal last year) by Mantaur in five seconds. He offers an open challenge to any fan and yells a lot of rather inappropriate things. He goes into the crowd and gets in an argument with a fan….who he kicks in the head. Deppen pulls him into the ring and the bell rings.

Tony Deppen vs. Fan

Deppen takes him into the ring and mocks him a bit before trying a suplex, which is reversed into a sleeper. The fans get behind the Fan, even as he gets driven into the corner a few times for the break. An armdrag sends Deppen down again and the Fan manages a 619. A springboard crossbody gets two and the stunned Deppen is sent outside, with the Fan hitting a flip dive off the top. This is quite the talented Fan.

Back in and the Fan takes a little too much time as Deppen gets in a superplex for two. He didn’t hook a leg so it’s really his fault. The Fan manages a right hand and a tornado DDT into a slingshot 450 for a crazy close two. A splash off the top misses though and Deppen hits a running kick to the head for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: A+. That’s one of the most impressive things I’ve ever seen. I know the fans are extra hot for this show but they didn’t need to carry something like this one very far. The Fan (he needs a name and after looking as good as he did out there he’ll have one soon) was awesome for someone pulled out of a chair. This is definitely worth seeing if you get the chance.

Oh and something I forgot to mention: the Fan doesn’t have legs. Read it back with that in mind.

The Fan gets a mega ovation, as I’d certainly think he’s earned.

Jungle Boy vs. A-Kid vs. Australian Suicide vs. Jake Atlas vs. Shane Mercer vs. Slim J

I know most of these guys. Jungle Boy is an AEW guy. Mercer, the biggest guy in the match, gets quintuple superkicked three times to start but he’s still on his feet on the floor. After a series of dives, Atlas walks on his hands to headscissor A-Kid and a running superkick doesn’t slow him down that much. Suicide comes back in as we seem to be firmly in the “you do something and then I’ll do something” formula.

A headscissors puts Atlas on the floor and it’s Slim J coming back in as we get Bill Behrens references. As you can guess, it’s Suicide being sent outside and Jungle Boy comes in for a middle rope legdrop. Mercer gets in and hits a one armed press slam (of course), managing to knock the other people down while still holding Jungle Boy above his head. More superkicks put him down again and it’s Atlas and Kid hitting moonsault to the floor.

The two of them get back inside and double team Suicide, who comes off the top with a corkscrew press. Slim J’s high crossbody gets two on Suicide with Jungle Boy making the save. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker onto Mercer’s knee puts J down but Jungle Boy hits an enziguri to drop Mercer as well. Jungle Boy takes Atlas up top but it’s something like a super swinging Angle Slam for no cover.

A-Kid suplexes Atlas and gets two off a standing moonsault but Mercer is back in with one of the biggest overhead belly to belly suplexes I’ve ever seen. Just because we haven’t seen enough crazy stuff yet, Mercer puts Slim J in a fireman’s carry and WALKS THE TOP ROPE WITH HIM (ok so he was holding Atlas’ hand) for a super AA. Suicide makes a very late save with a shooting star and the fans are very pleased again.

Kid is the first one up with a 619 to Atlas but a high crossbody to Mercer is countered into a super moonsault World’s Strongest Slam. Atlas knees Suicide in the face and hits a top rope cartwheel DDT (seriously) to take him down. Kid goes after Jungle Boy and gets on his back, but Jungle Boy moves to the side and hooks a full nelson with Kid still on his back (think a Backpack Stunner but with them twisted around) for the tap at 10:05.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah I’m seeing why this show gets these kind of reviews. This was one of the craziest spotfests I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t believe some of the things I was seeing. It also helps that most of these guys aren’t very well known so they were able to surprise me with a lot of the spots. It was a blast and the kind of match that makes indy wrestling so much fun over this weekend.

GCW World Title: Nick Gage vs. Shinjiro Otani

Gage is defending and that means it’s time for the fans to treat him like some kind of greatest thing ever. The announcers ensure us that this will NOT just be a freak show and I can’t say I’m convinced. They make it clear that Gage is multi talented as Otani takes him down without much effort. A rope break gets Gage out of a wristlock with the fans sound like they want to kill Otani for hurting their hero. That’s enough wrestling for Gage (less than three minutes) so let’s get a table.

Otani will have none of that and chops Gage down into a half crab. Another rope break saves Gage and the fans again insist that he break it up. An atomic drop and running elbow into the corner have Otani in trouble and Gage hits a Broski Boot. That’s an Otani signature so he suplexes Gage through a table to even things up. Otani shows him how to do the Facewash and some Broski Boots with the kicks knocking Gage’s second down each time. Back up and Gage gets two off a DDT but Otani is right back with a kick to the head and a legsweep for two of his own. Gage grabs a rollup to steal the pin out of nowhere at 9:45.

Rating: D. This was Otani doing a lot of his signature stuff while Gage showed that he can’t do much outside of death match wrestling. I’m not a fan of the guy or his style and while I get that he’s an Otani fan (fair enough), this completely stopped the flow of a very entertaining show so far. The fans there dig him and good for them, but Gage is not my thing.

Post match Gage continues to swear a lot and talks about being a huge Otani fan growing up.

Invisible Man vs. Invisible Stan

It’s EXACTLY what it’s billed as and yes there is a backstory as they’re brothers. Stan is a mega heel and Man is a huge face. Bryce Remsburg (like ANYONE else could be the referee) checks Stan for weapons as the graphics call both guys Invisible Man. Actually hang on a second as Bryce throws on his Janela glasses, apparently allowing him to see both guys. Then how did he check Stan?

There’s a door in the corner as Bryce gets a clean break and it’s a pinfall exchange sequence into a standoff as the fans aren’t sure what to chant. They slug it out with the fans going right along with the BOO/YAY chants and Remsburg being more into it than anything else. A rake to the eyes has Man in trouble and they both demand chairs.

Both guys sit in the middle and slug it out from the chairs (I can’t believe this is somehow working) but hang on because Remsburg has to put on the gloves to check on Man’s cut. He goes to throw up the X but Man shoves him over….and they go to the floor. The camera loses them (How?) and they get all the way onto the balcony for the New Jack dive, with the referees below (in the crowd for some reason) going down in a heap.

They get back in with Stan only getting two and getting in a fight with Remsburg. That means a shot to Remsburg’s head, drawing in Kikutaro to take his place (and glasses of course). Kikutaro pelts a chair at Stan and gives him a DDT with Man getting a VERY delayed two. Remsburg orders Kikutaro out and it’s….I’m not sure how to describe it to give Stan two (these indy moves are so weird sometimes). A spear through the door (well done on the break) finishes Stan at 7:18.

Rating: C. The action was good enough but that dive out of the balcony felt so tacked on. You shouldn’t need a ref bump and a huge spot like that in a seven minute match. The brawling and slugouts were good as you have to sell the hatred between the two, but at least do something a little more logical.

The fans throw money into the ring, which is well deserved.

…Orange Cassidy vs. Taka Michinoku

It isn’t clear if Cassidy’s Independent Wrestling Title is on the line or not. Taka wants a lockup but that’s harder that it seems as Cassidy doesn’t take his hands out of his pockets. He gets a hand out of each and Cassidy puts them right back in. Both hands are pulled out at the same time but Cassidy puts them right back in at the same time. With nothing else working, Taka puts his hands down his trunks before the shoulder exchange lets Cassidy hit one in slow motion.

Cassidy’s dancing escape gets him out of a waistlock and it’s a dropkick into a nip up, all with the hands still in the pockets. The very light kicks to Taka’s legs make him remove Cassidy’s glasses and the fans know this isn’t going to end well. Now the hands come out of the pockets and Cassidy lightly…..I don’t think I can call those chops. The low superkick to the leg has Cassidy celebrating but Taka pokes him in the eye to take over.

Rating: C-. I think I caused myself to lose some interest in this match as I’ve seen Cassidy a few times now and it’s a lot of the same stuff he’s done in each of his matches this weekend. He’s talented and funny, but it’s not the kind of gimmick that you need to be seeing every single week.

Post match Taka takes the glasses and respect is shared.

Here’s Ethan Page to rant about how Janela doesn’t own him and wants to call the show Ethan Page’s Body Guy Extravaganza. As for tonight though, he has a mystery opponent.

Starman vs. Ethan Page

Starman is a masked guy in a pink bodysuit who sneaks in through the crowd and rolls Page up for the pin at 3 seconds. Apparently that was for Page’s soul?

The mask comes off and it’s….freaking VIRGIL??? Page snaps and says that since he now has to agent the Cluster**** tomorrow, we’ll make it the greatest Cluster**** of all time.

The ring announcer thanks the fans and we pause a bit to set up for the deathmatch main event. Since he can’t do it though, here’s Low Life Louie (from ECW) to announce instead. I mean, he doesn’t actually do the announcing yet though as we get a new mat and a bunch of weapons added in first. This eats up several minutes as the announcers chatter about various deathmatch legends.

Masashi Takeda vs. Jimmy Lloyd

Spider Nate Webb is on commentary and there are light tubes all around the ring. Token wrestling sequence to start, which is rather token with A BUNCH OF LIGHT TUBES on the apron. Lloyd misses an enziguri and they trade exchanges of dropping themselves on tubes. Tubes are broken over each other’s heads, followed by gusset plates (pieces of galvanized metal) to the head. Lloyd is busted and another one plate is used to cut open his arm.

Takeda breaks a tube over the arm for two and another goes across the mouth for a Russian legsweep. Lloyd is gushing and breaks more tubs over Takeda’s head. Tubes are dropped onto Takeda for two and another is superkicked into Takeda’s face for two. Takeda dropkicks some tubes into Lloyd’s face….and it’s time for a board covered in open scissors.

The scissors are put onto Lloyd and a running knee drives them in, with Lloyd having to pull a pair out of his chest. Takeda suplexes him for two but gets Razor’s Edged into a board with something unspecified covering it in the corner. Lloyd gets two off a tiger driver before they both no sell suplexes.

A clothesline gives Lloyd two and someone brings him a weed wacker, which Takeda takes away and uses on the arm. Now it’s a door covered with forks which is then covered with tubes. Lloyd gets German suplexed through them, setting up a knee to drive tubes into the chest for one. More tubes are put on Lloyd’s chest and a Swanton gets two. A reverse inverted DDT onto more tubes finishes Lloyd at 9:23.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling.

Post match Lloyd asks Takeda to break one more tube over his head so Takeda does it to himself to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. While there are some parts that just are not for me, I’ll give this show a ton of credit for one of the most entertaining and energized shows I’ve ever seen. The crowd was on fire all night and I was getting into a lot of these things, mainly due to how much effort they putting into nearly everything. Normally that’s the case with a bunch of matches that aren’t all that great, but a lot of these were very good with some of the better action I’ve seen all night.

At the same time though, there are still a few things going on that I wasn’t wild on. The deathmatch stuff just isn’t my style and that’s never going to change. Other than that there were some matches that weren’t quite as good as the best on the card, but (wrestling wise at least) nothing is all that bad and it’s a show I’ll almost certainly be watching next year. Well done here and I was very nicely surprised.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

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