Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s title time as Rich Swann defends the X-Division Title against Sami Callihan, who is ticked off over Swann turning down the chance to join OVE. Other than that we’re likely to get some fallout from Johnny Impact turning heel last week, which is probably best for everyone. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at everything going on around here, including Moose beating up the Rascalz, Jordynne Grace becoming #1 contender and the World Title situation.

Opening sequence.

Moose vs. Trey Miguel

Fallout from the Rascalz making fun of their clothes and not getting anywhere with Melissa Santos. Miguel goes for the legs to start and actually pulls off a hurricanrana. Moose gets sent to the floor a few times but a suicide dive won’t even put him off his feet. The second attempt is countered into a release apron bomb but Trey slips out of another one and kicks Moose in the face. Something like a 619 is countered with a swing into the steps (geez) and Moose hammers at the head inside.

A heck of a clothesline looks to set up a superplex but Moose slips out and hits a quick superkick. There’s a missile dropkick to send Moose outside for the required flip dive as we keep up with the all the required big man vs. little man tropes. Moose isn’t really phased by a frog splash but the discus lariat misses. An enziguri gives Trey two but Moose has had it and sends him into the post twice in a row. The No Jackhammer Needed spear finishes Miguel at 9:22.

Rating: C+. This was a fun big vs. little match and it’s not like the Rascalz are hurt by losing to a main event star. There’s a good chance that the feud isn’t done and that’s not a bad thing, as anything that gives the Rascalz a potentially big win is a positive thing. They’re that good and I could go for a lot more of them.

Sami Callihan isn’t sure how he’s going to hurt Rich Swann but he’s walking out as champion.

Tessa Blanchard says Impact is completely responsible for Gail Kim’s actions. First up, Kim needs to make a public apology.

The announcers preview the show.

KM/Fallah Bahh vs. Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards

Bahh shoulders Drake down to start and we go to a gator roll to keep him in trouble. KM comes in and doesn’t do as well, allowing a tag off to Eddie to crank on the arm. A superkick to the ribs cuts KM off as everything breaks down. Drake puts KM on top for a superplex but Bahh runs Drake over. That earns him a trip to the floor and a suicide dive from Eddie. That means it’s Kenny time but Eddie gets caught. That’s fine as he throws it to Drake and since the referees aren’t that bright, KM takes a shot to the head and it’s the Boston Knee Party for the pin at 4:59.

Rating: D+. Edwards and Drake continue their nice roll as a team and that seems likely to set them up for a title shot, likely at Rebellion. The Lucha Bros and LAX are both awesome but you can only have those two fight for so long until they need something else. Then again there’s always the chance that Drake turns on him, which would seem to be his nature.

Taya Valkyrie grabs Melendez (the annoying interviewer) by the throat for asking why Johnny Impact turned on Brian Cage last week.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson from Against All Odds (though this might just be the international version, as the American show might have aired Fenix vs. Brian Cage from the Impact vs. Lucha Underground show last year).

Melendez gets thrown in the trash for being annoying.

Swann tells Willie Mack that he’ll be one on one with Sami tonight. Mack promises to take care of OVE but here’s Ethan Page to say he’s coming for Mack tonight.

Ace Austin vs. Damian Hyde

Ace starts fast with a trip into a basement dropkick to send Hyde to the floor. A handstand on the apron makes Hyde miss and it’s the Space Flying Tiger Drop to keep Hyde in trouble. Back in and Austin hits a springboard kick to the head and a middle rope Swanton. A double stomp to the back of the head sets up the Fold for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: C-. Total and complete squash here, which is what should have happened when Austin debuted. The important thing here was letting him come out there and get in all of his cool offense, which Austin can do quite well. I’ve liked Austin in all the promotions I’ve seen him in and having him in Impact is a good move.

Video on Sami Callihan vs. Rich Swann with Swann turning down the offers to join OVE and laying all of them out.

A Knockout is back in two weeks. Odds are that’s Madison Rayne.

Here are Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie for the big explanation with Callis ripping them apart on commentary. Johnny has been asked by everyone from local news to TMZ. He did it because of the internet smart marks (oh here we go) who are watching this stuff for the crashes. They liked him and then they saw Cage, who got ripped off at Homecoming. Impact had to sit in a room with that moron who just doesn’t get it. How can Impact be loyal to the fans when no one is loyal to him? He cheated on the fans with himself and loved it.

As for Taya, she’s not worried about facing Jordynne Grace next week but would rather complain about how the fans treated Johnny. There might not be a title match next week because they have the power and they make the rules. Johnny says the only things that matter to him are the title and his wife. This was one of the more generic “you turned on me” promos I’ve heard in a good while, which is fine enough and not the worst idea, though the smart marks line didn’t really add a thing.

Rosemary comes in to see James Mitchell because she’s gotten Allie’s meat suit and not her soul. Mitchell says he was a man of his word but if Rosemary has a problem, she can talk to him, whoever that is. She’ll go to the undead realm and get the Bunny’s soul back.

Video on Jordynne Grace defeating Tessa Blanchard to become #1 contender.

Ethan Page vs. Willie Mack

Page jumps him in the corner to start and sends Mack into another corner for an elbow to the face. That just earns Page a Samoan drop into a standing moonsault and they head outside. Page kicks him in the face for two back inside as the fans are behind Chocolate Thunder. That switches to an ETHAN SUCKS chant so he puts on a chinlock and shouts about how the chants mean nothing.

Mack fights up with a shotgun dropkick into the corner for the running hip attack. A DDT gets two but Mack gets caught with an Iconoclasm out of the corner, setting up a middle rope elbow for another near fall. Mack finally goes simple by kicking Page in the head and hitting the Stunner for the pin at 5:59.

Rating: C+. Page has grown on me a lot in recent weeks and Mack is still one of the most charismatic guys on the roster. These two could have a very nice program or even a longer match down the road and I wouldn’t be complaining. That’s a pretty good place to be for what should be just a quick one off match like this and again suggests that the future is bright around here, assuming they don’t all get signed away.

Melendez annoys Johnny and Taya again so Johnny says he smells like hot garbage. They run into Killer Kross, who whispers something to him, which seems to please Johnny.

Video on Scarlett Bordeaux vs. Glenn Gilbertti.

Melendez goes up to Gilbertti, who is doing shots to train. The match with Scarlett is going to be one star, after six stars for Glenn and negative five for hers, making it the highest rated match ever involving a woman.

Gail Kim is going to apologize and resign from her position to appease Tessa’s lawyers. Can we PLEASE just get to the match already?

LAX and the Lucha Bros get in a rather intense fight in the hallway. Konnan comes in to yell as security breaks it up.

The Crist Brothers jump Mack in a locker room…but he’s ready for them and lays them out with a chair.

X-Division Title: Rich Swann vs. Sami Callihan

Sami is challenging and doesn’t seem to know that the Brothers aren’t a factor. Swann isn’t wasting time and goes straight at Sami, knocking him tot he floor for a big flip dive. That earns him the spit chop but Swann isn’t about to be dropped on the steps. The piledriver on the steps is broken up and Swann hits a running clothesline off said steps. An exploder suplex onto the ramp cuts the champ off though and we take a break.

Back with Swann caught in a chinlock, followed by another spit chop in the corner. The neck crank goes on and Callihan pulls on the mouth for a painful visual. That’s let go for an elbow and it’s right back to the chinlock. Thankfully Swann fights up and gets in a jawbreaker, followed by a running headscissors. A top rope hurricanrana gives Swann two and he can’t believe the kickout. Callihan pops up with a piledriver into a knee to the face into Get Out Of Here for two and his own surprised reaction.

Swann gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the head, setting up the middle rope 450 for two. A super hurricanrana is countered into a super Jackknife, followed by an STF of all things. Swann breaks that up and makes the rope, setting up a huge spit in the face from Sami. That earns Callihan a Lethal Injection but he avoids the Phoenix splash. Swann is fine enough to grab a rollup to retain at 15:03.

Rating: B. This was the big showdown between these two and, as usual, Swann showed that he could hang in the main event settings. It’s a good match and while Sami losing didn’t help things, he’s the kind of guy who can be built up again in short order. That’s the perk of having lackeys: as long as you have them there to beat people up, you look like a monster all over again.

Post match Sami knocks Swann down and grabs a chair, only to get kicked in the face. Cue the debuting Madman (Sawyer) Fulton to chokeslam Swann. Mack comes in for the save and gets dropped as well, allowing Sami to hit Swann in the throat with the baseball bat to end the show. Fulton has been around Sami before and is a great fit for a monster enforcer.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week with some rather nice matches and a good debut to wrap things up. As mentioned, the future looks promising as they’ve signed up some talent with a lot of potential and that means we should be able to get some more shows like this (if not better) in the future. Good show this week, and one of their better in recent memory. The lack of the same main event matches has no connection to this whatsoever I’m sure.

Results

Moose b. Trey Miguel – No Jackhammer Needed

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards b. KM/Fallah Bahh – Boston Knee Party to KM

Ace Austin b. Damian Hyde – The Fold

Willie Mack b. Ethan Page – Stunner

Rich Swann b. Sami Callihan – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the more unique shows that WWE ever put together with the fans getting to pick the stipulations/participants/a few other things for the matches. This has presented a bit of a hard few weeks of TV as they don’t have specific matches to set up as everything has some kind of a twist included. Hopefully the finished product works a bit better. Oh and it’s on a Tuesday, which worked so well back in 1991 that they waited thirteen years to try it again. Let’s get to it.

By the way: the Bradley Center can hold about 18,000 people for wrestling. This really isn’t screaming good idea.

The opening video is about how the wrestlers have no control tonight. That works fine on paper, but when you consider how one sided some of the options are, it doesn’t hold up as well.

The set is rather cool with the stage looking like a keyboard. I miss these unique sets and you almost never get them anymore.

Coach is our emcee for the voting and we get to the important part first: the outfits for the women’s battle royal:

School Girls – 53%

French Maids – 30%

Nurses – 17%

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending and we see all of the options in the back, with some of them being laughable at best. Here are the results:

Shelton Benjamin – 37%

Batista – 20%

Jonathan Coachman – 7%

Christian – 7%

Rhyno – 6%

Maven – 4%

William Regal – 4%

Hurricane – 4%

Tyson Tomko – 2%

Tajiri – 2%

Steven Richards – 2%

Val Venis – 2%

Rosey – 1%

Chuck Palumbo – 1%

Rodney Mack – 1%

There were three realistic options and two of them finished first and second (Christian being that low is a bit of a surprise but maybe fans were just sick of seeing that match). Jericho armdrags him down to start but gets armdragged right into an armbar. Some loud chops in the corner get Jericho out of trouble so Shelton backdrops him to the floor instead.

Back in and Jericho is fine enough to get two off the running enziguri, followed by a suplex into the arrogant cover gets the same. A backbreaker has Benjamin’s back bent over Jericho’s knee as the fans aren’t sure what to do here. Jericho gets caught going up and it’s a top rope superplex to get us right back to even.

The Dragon Whip gets two but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and Shelton gets up for the top rope clothesline in another near fall. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and a very long Lionsault connects for a delayed two. Back up and Jericho comes off the middle rope but dives right into the exploder suplex to give Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It took some time to get going but the last part worked well enough. Shelton needed to win something months ago so this is pretty overdue but at least they finally pulled the trigger and put him over completely clean. Jericho was really just keeping the title warm for someone anyway and it gives the fans something to cheer for early on. Also, it’s about time that they push someone to a title like this so hopefully it works out for him.

Post match Jericho takes the title, hands it back to him, and raises Shelton’s hand.

Edge says he should get the World Title match because he won the triple threat last night.

Chris Benoit promises to make HHH tap. Vote for him if you’re sick of Evolution and HHH running Raw.

Shawn Michaels says he isn’t asking for sympathy and he’s legitimately injured with a torn meniscus. Whatever is left in his knee, he’ll leave out in the ring.

And none of these speeches matter because here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 39%

Edge – 33%

Chris Benoit – 28%

At least none of them got destroyed. That means Edge and Benoit will get a Tag Team Title shot tonight instead. Edge walks off in disgust as Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand.

Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Nidia, Stacy Keibler, Jazz

Trish is defending, they’re all schoolgirls and you can be eliminated by going through the ropes. Everyone gets their own entrance to show off a bit, sending Lawler through the roof when Stacy comes out. I mean to be fair, she’s kind of made for this match. They brawl in near slow motion to start with Jazz beating everyone up and Nidia losing her top as she gets thrown out.

Victoria baseball slides Jazz out and blocks a hurricanrana to get rid of Gail to get us down to four. Stacy does her kicks and leg choke in the corner on Trish as creepy fans take pictures of the skirts flying up. A double suplex sends Stacy and Victoria to the apron but they get back in without much trouble. Victoria gets catapulted out and the fans start cheering for Stacy. The double teaming begins until Stacy kicks them both in the face and sends Trish to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination and Molly gets rid of Stacy, only to get dumped by Trish to retain the title.

Rating: D. We’ll call this one “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s not a bad thing for a match like this. I was worried they would go insane and make Stacy champion but thankfully common sense held strong. The girls looked great but that’s about all this had going for it, which is kind of the most important thing.

La Resistance doesn’t like the idea of just finding out who they’re facing and it’s another example of the unfair American voting system. They’re wrestling this match under protest. Todd Grisham actually remembers his history and brings up La Resistance taking the titles from Edge and Benoit in the first place.

We recap Kane vs. Gene Snitsky. Lita slept with Kane to save Matt Hardy and got pregnant as a result. Snitsky debuted and knocks Kane into Lita, causing her to lose the baby. Kane was distraught and is swearing revenge tonight where the fans get to choose the weapon. The most interesting thing here is Snitsky turning into the best built up monster heel in years as he actually did something evil and had some good insults after. Now as long as he wins here, they might have something.

Kane vs. Snitsky

They need a legal weapon, so here are the results:

Chain – 41%

Chair – 30%

Lead Pipe – 29%

Kind of weird as the chair and pipe have been used while the chain hasn’t been a factor at all. Lita actually comes out with Kane as the slow face turn continues. They get in an early tug of war over the chain, which Kane throws outside. Right hands in the corner have Snitsky in early trouble and the threat of a chokeslam sends him outside. Now we can have the chain but Snitsky takes it away, only to get caught with an uppercut.

Snitsky uses the chain to pull Kane into the post and it’s time to choke with the chain inside. Kane’s comeback is cut off with elbows and clotheslines. Some whips with the chain set up a choke, which just seems to annoy Kane more than anything else. Back up and Kane slugs away with a big boot giving us a double knockdown.

Snitsky is up first and goes for the chain but Lita takes it away. The chokeslam is broken up with right hands so Kane sends him over the top. A dropkick to the steps sends them into Kane’s knees and there’s a chair to his throat. Choking with the chair keeps Kane down and Snitsky actually Pillmanizes his throat. Kane is bleeding from the mouth but Snitsky, being a good monster, covers him anyway before the medics can come in to help.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was your usual garbage brawling but the point here is how awesome Snitsky is getting over as a monster. I know he has a very firm ceiling above him, but it’s nice to see them actually getting someone over. Raw has needed fresh blood for a long time now and Snitsky is certainly better than nothing.

The medics take their time helping Kane as Lita actually looks concerned. Snitsky continues being awesome by turning the stretcher over on the stage.

Edge is furious over not getting the title shot over a broken down has been. He cares about the Tag Team Titles (he’s held them ten times) but they’re a consolation prize and that’s not good enough for him.

Coach goes over the stipulations for Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene, but we won’t hear the results until after it’s done.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is in his karate gear and Eugene plays with the hair clippers, the dress and the butler mannequin. Eric is smart enough to jump him from behind and kicks away but a ram into the corner wakes Eugene up. A fake knee injury lets Bischoff try a kick to the head, which just earns him some punches to his own head. The jacket comes off and Bischoff gets caught in a very long airplane spin. A big boot and the legdrop finishes Bischoff in a hurry.

Coach reluctantly shows us the results:

Loser’s head is shaved – 59%

Loser wears a dress – 21%

Losers is the winner’s servant – 20%

Coach knows this isn’t good and appeals to the fans to change their minds. He’s going to use his authority and change the decision to Bischoff being Eugene’s servant for five minutes. Actually hang on as here’s Vince to disagree. He heard what the fans said and they’re in charge on Taboo Tuesday. Bischoff tries to leave so Vince threatens to fire him. Eugene gets to do the shaving and that’s almost too much for Bischoff, with Coach talking him back into the chair. The cutting begins with Bischoff screaming that he’ll never forgive Eugene for this in a nice bonus.

Coach tries to leave but Vince isn’t happy with what he tried to pull. Therefore, he better take off his clothes because he’s wearing this dress. Vince makes sure that Coach button up because he doesn’t want a “s***”. The haircut continues and the gray roots come out, sending Vince into hysterics that Bischoff dyes his hair. Vince wraps it up as this took WAY longer than it needed to, though Vince’s antics and funny lines made it a lot more bearable.

Shawn is getting his knee taped up when Edge comes in to rant about how unfair this is. Michaels should have dropped out of this because Edge would have won. He’s nailing these angry promos so far.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

La Resistance is defending in a likely unintentional rematch. Grenier sings O Canada in French and the patriotic Edge and Benoit don’t interrupt. Edge pounds away at Conway in the corner to start and brings Benoit in to work on the chest. The first suplex is enough to bring Edge back in but this time Conway sends him into the corner. The champs take over with an assortment of forearms and choking until Edge knocks Conway off.

Hang on though as Edge needs to go outside and yell at fans as his frustrations continue. Another suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time for the chops. Edge knocks Conway off the apron and everyone winds up on the floor with Edge winding up back in trouble. We hit the chinlock back inside, followed by Conway stomping away. Grenier waves the flag as the announcers talk about Milwaukee culture because this match is really boring.

A big boot finally gets Edge out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chopping as the energy just isn’t here. Grenier wastes no time in sending Benoit chest first into the buckle as the villains take over again. Benoit gets out of trouble with a release German suplex but we get the missed tag to keep Edge out. Actually that’s enough for Edge as he walks to the back (makes sense) to make this a handicap match.

Edge even leaves the arena as Grenier slaps on the chinlock in the ring. We even see the car pulling off as the hold continues. Benoit fights up and hits a top rope superplex on Grenier so it’s back to Conway. The Au Revoir is broken up and Conway is sent into Grenier to knock him to the floor. Some German suplexes set up the Crossface and Conway taps to make Benoit and Edge champions.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked this match as it just keeps going far too long when they could have done the same thing in about five minutes without missing much. La Resistance look like the biggest losers ever, though it’s not like they meant anything in the first place so the title change is actually a bit of a good idea. Let Edge get somewhere off the mega heel turn as La Resistance losing doesn’t exactly end some mega reign.

HHH thinks this whole thing is stupid and doesn’t buy the knee injury. He’ll make the injury real by the end of the night.

We look back at Shawn’s knee injury and how much it messed him up last night.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Carmella because that’s something we need to do. Christy won the Diva Search and since there’s nothing else for Christy to do, we’re having a non-match here for Christy’s first win.

Coach is still in a dress as he announces the stipulations for the “match”:

Lingerie Pillow Fight – 57%

Evening Gown – 33%

Aerobics Challenge – 10%

Christy Hemme vs. Carmella

They both come out and disrobe behind somewhat see-through screens (you can see their shadows). We get quite a bit of time on the disrobing with Christy basically stripping and Carmella having to be told to get closer to the screen. For some reason Carmella gets to the ring nearly a minute before Christy as this just keeps going.

They disrobe…and we start with the traditional throwing of false chest enhancements. They hit each other with pillows and choke a lot as the fans start booing loudly. Christy finally covers her for the pin with Carmella’s shoulder four inches off the mat. The “match” was less than two minutes while the build was nearly ten. This was one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as the Diva Search continues to haunt me even after it’s over.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is challenging with a bad knee and somehow, THIS MATCH doesn’t get a recap video. There’s a nine hour DVD’s worth of history between these two and it doesn’t even get a thirty second video after ten minutes of getting ready for a pillow fight? Shawn, who comes out second, takes a long time to limp down to ringside and even longer to kneel in the aisle. Just to kill more time, we get a weapons check, which is a nice thing to see for the sake of old school wrestling after the mess we just saw.

HHH slowly backs him into the corner and the referee makes him back off as JR snaps on Lawler for thinking Shawn is faking it, ranting about how Lawler needs to stop thinking about puppies and underwear all the time. Completely fair point and something that always makes me smile. Shawn tries to fight defensively but gets hit in the knee to put him in real trouble.

The slow motion beating begins with HHH punching away and hitting the knee a few times, which makes perfect sense but there’s only so much they can do under the circumstances. HHH bends the knee and we hit the Figure Four (you knew that one was coming). Shawn has to beg the referee not to stop it and, after two minutes in the hold, makes the rope for the break. The leg is pulled to the post but Shawn uses the good leg to send HHH into the post for his first major shot.

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the post again and they’re both down. An atomic drop isn’t the brightest move so Shawn hits three of them in a row and a clothesline finally puts the champ down. Shawn gets in a low blow and a big DDT, followed by an understandably messy top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up and, after dealing with an interfering Batista, takes HHH down. Batista distracts the referee though and Edge comes back in to spear Shawn (Edge: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”) to give HHH the retaining pin.

Rating: C. I can’t get mad at this match as they didn’t have another option. Shawn could barely walk and you can’t fault the logic. It wouldn’t have made any sense for someone as smart as HHH to work on anything but the knee so it was the only way they could go. Edge interfering at least got something out of it and Shawn tried as hard as he could on one leg. It wasn’t exciting, but they did as well as they could under the circumstances.

Post match Shawn gets the hero’s sendoff. He wouldn’t wrestle again until January.

Bischoff, now with short gray hair, yells at people in case they make fun of him. Bischoff: “I’ll fire you! I haven’t even hired you yet but I’ll fire you!”

We recap the night so far to fill in time. I’d bet Shawn vs. HHH was scheduled for WAY longer so it’s about all they can do. Aside from just having Shelton vs. Jericho go longer or something, as two of the matches didn’t even combine for four minutes. The recap eats up the better part of eight minutes.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton. After losing the World Title, Orton started calling out Flair for being a lackey to HHH instead of a legend. Flair said that Orton wasn’t a real legend killer because he was the only real legend in wrestling. This led to Flair teasing a face turn for about an hour before attacking Orton all over again. The idea for tonight is Flair trying to be his old self one more time, which he could actually pull off. The fans want to cheer Flair at the moment though so hopefully they’re given the chance here. It feels like a filler feud before Orton can get back to HHH, but the promos have been good.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

There are two real options here so here are the results:

Steel Cage – 68%

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%

Submission – 12%

Coach: “It is absolutely unanimous!” Coach doesn’t know what unanimous means. I’d have bet on falls count anywhere getting a bigger share but this was the best choice. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Orton wastes no time (we’ve done enough of that tonight) and starts punching so Flair chops right back. Flair takes his required backdrop but he’s up on the ropes to thumb Orton in the eye and knock him down.

There’s a low blow and a ram into the cage to draw some rather early blood. Flair drops a knee to the head as Lawler and JR compare the voting to the Presidential election. Orton sends him into the cage and hammers at the head to draw blood (well duh) and Flair’s trunks go down as he tries to climb the cage. Flair gets crotched to make it even worse but he low blows his way out of the corner. That just earns him a face rake against the cage and a dropkick to send him into the steel.

For some reason Flair goes up and…well you know the rest. Orton gets two off a high crossbody (I’ll call it a Starrcade 1983 reference), followed by the backbreaker for the same. A forearm to the back of Flair’s head actually draws an argument from the referee, allowing Flair to pull out the brass knuckles for two. Orton has to pull him back in the door but Flair is able to pull a chair in with him. The chair shot misses and it’s the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: B. The blood helped a lot here as Flair tried to turn back the clock and came pretty close, but just wasn’t able to overcome the younger star. Orton got a nice win though it’s not exactly a game changer or anything. This feud wasn’t the strongest in the world to start and while the match was good, it’s not like it’s anything more than a filler feud until Orton can go for the title again.

Post match they shake hands with Flair dropping to a knee. A hug and stare end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Good opener and better main event aside, this did not work as a concept and would have been much better off as a special episode of Raw. There’s way too much down time for the results and a lot of the matches were short for the sake of pre or post match shenanigans. It’s far from the worst show they’ve ever done but it’s much more a case of an idea that works on paper but not at all in practice.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part III
Date: October 13, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

I’m still not done with this thing but at least I’m onto the second half now. Believe it or not we’re still on the tournaments, which is almost all these shows are about. Hopefully we can get some good action in here to make the show work well enough, though it’s not like the first two parts have been inspiring. Let’s get to it.

Here are Part II’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video (remember that these shows are comprised of four hour long episodes) previews tonight’s show, focusing on a women’s triple threat.

Opening sequence.

Video on Virgil Flynn, who I don’t think I’ve heard of outside of this show.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Virgil Flynn III vs. Trevor Lee

Lee shoves him down to start and picks up the much smaller Flynn for some ragdolling. Flynn sends him into the ropes though and nails a running slap but a springboard is broken up with a kick to the rope. A forearm to the face gets two as PJ Black is watching from the ramp. Flynn’s comeback is countered with a gutwrench faceplant but he’s fine enough for a tornado DDT.

Lee gets sent outside for a big running flip dive, followed by a running backsplash for no cover. Lee’s spinning crossbody gets two and a bridging German suplex is good for the same. Flynn is right back up with a forearm to the face and a top rope hurricanrana (West Coast Pop without the springboard) is good for the pin at 9:11.

Rating: C-. There’s a certain kind of indy cruiserweight match that you can almost call spot by spot and move by move and that’s what you had here. Neither of these two were exciting and the match wasn’t exactly shocking. It was completely watchable but absolutely nothing beyond that.

Shelton Benjamin says he has a concussion and will be on the shelf for the time being.

Nick Aldis is ready to become the World Champion. He’s done it before and he can do it again, a stance Jeff Jarrett seems to share. Aldis knows Chris Mordetzky is more than a musclehead and he’ll be ready.

Black hands Flynn a cup of water and knocks it out of his hands.

Here’s Karen Jarrett for a chat. She talks about last month’s women’s three way match with Christina Von Eerie moving on to the Women’s Title match. Before we get to the other qualifying match, here’s Bullet Babe Amber Gallows for a chat. She’s looking forward to this but here’s Tease N Sleaze (Kenny King and Joey Ryan) to say these two just destroyed the ratings in three minutes. Stripping ensues and Jarrett’s response of “Do you know who our husbands are?” doesn’t exactly work well. Karen gets a little more serious and tells them to get out because the women are main eventing. Amber cleans house.

The announcers talk about the tournaments.

Katarina Leigh, Laura James and Amber Gallows want the Women’s Title. Karen would be happy with any of them winning.

Christina Von Eerie is ready for whoever gets the other spot.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Katarina Leigh vs. Amber Gallows vs. Laura James

Katarina is Catrina/Winter/Katie Lea/whatever other names she’s gone by. Amber’s offer of a Too Sweet gets her a kick to the ribs from Katarina. James gets two off a PerfectPlex to Amber and it’s Gallows getting double teamed. A big boot knocks James off the apron but Leigh hits one of her own on Gallows.

The double teaming continues with a Boston crab/camel clutch combination but, as always, the fight over the fall begins. Gallows uses the break to roll Leigh up for two, followed by a neckbreaker/DDT at the same time for two more. A superkick drops Leigh and the Amber Alert (X Factor) gives Gallows the pin on James at 4:55.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. They tried to turn this into a major match but it felt like any match you would see on any indy show. Gallows was treated as a major star and better than the others, which at least gives Von Eerie a challenger. What we got here was nothing special though and not exactly main event worthy.

Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows come out to celebrate.

A preview for next week’s episode wraps up the first show.

We get a preview for the second week, which is still such a weird thing to see on a long show like this.

Tease N Sleaze aren’t happy with what happened at Amber Gallows’ hands so Joey is ready to deal with anyone, man or woman.

Kevin (Killer) Kross isn’t happy with the result of his first match but he never gives up. Why he goes from a full head of hair to bald and back in a single video isn’t clear.

Juicy Joey vs. Kevin Kross

Kenny’s early distraction doesn’t work and it’s Kross taking him down into a front facelock. Joey sends him outside though and Kenny actually does something right by stomping away. Kross’ leg is wrapped around the post and Joey has a target. The leg is fine enough for a release German suplex to take Joey down but he’s right back on the leg to keep Kross in trouble. The comeback doesn’t take long with Kross hitting a kick to the face and an exploder suplex. Some rolling suplexes (regular into a fisherman’s into a Saito) finish Joey at 5:30.

Rating: D+. The leg going absolutely nowhere was annoying but they were smart to have the hometown boy Kross win. Joey isn’t the most polished worker in the world it was a good idea to keep things moving here. Kross has a lot of potential but there’s only so much you can do with these restrictions. He didn’t exactly get much better in the ring in the next few years anyway.

We recap Chris Mordetzky insulting Mickie James (Nick Aldis’ wife) at Chael Sonnen’s pushing. Aldis came out and got full nelsoned.

Amber Gallows wants the Women’s Title.

Video on Aldis vs. Mordetzky. They used to be friends but Mordetzky has become a jerk, who even implies that he and Mickie used to have something going on.

Video on the four way for the Nex Gen Title.

Joey and Kenny argue but agree to focus on their next tag match instead.

GFW Global Title Tournament Semifinals: Chris Mordetzky vs. Nick Aldis

Aldis is ticked off and punches him out to the floor, followed by a back elbow to the face back inside. Chris gets knocked outside again and more right hands keep Mordetzky in trouble. A missed dropkick lets Mordetzky take over, much to Sonnen’s delight. That means a camel clutch for a bit, followed by the standard stomps to the ribs. Mordetzky stays on the ribs as Sonnen wonders about the lack of the Adonis Lock. Well Mordetzky never was known as the brightest guy in the world.

A front facelock at least starts in on the neck before having to go with a spinebuster to cut Aldis off. The threat of the Adonis Lock is countered with a clothesline and they’re both down. Aldis is back up with what looked like a brainbuster for two and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf sends Adonis to the rope. Mordetzky hits a sitout spinebuster for two of his own but the Adonis Lock is countered into the Spine Shaker to give Aldis the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C. Mordetzky is very close to the top of the list of people who were supposed to be a big deal once they got out from underneath WWE’s thumb but he’s the exact same guy who didn’t work in WWE. He’s big, muscular, and spends most of the match trying to get a full nelson. That doesn’t make an interesting match and Aldis, while good, isn’t good enough to make this a strong match.

In the back, Mordetzky yells at the referee to no avail.

Preview for the Nex Gen Title match on the next show.

The next episode begins with a big preview of the Nex Gen Title match. It would be nice if we had seen these guys have more than one match before they’re fighting for a title.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett for a chat. He puts over Las Vegas as a great city where all of the tournaments are going to wrap up. Shelton Benjamin is out of the tournament due to a concussion but here’s a loudmouthed manager to yell about the crowd as he comes to the ring with Chris Mordetzky, who is carrying flowers. He introduces himself as Stu Stone, the official business manager for Mordetzky.

They’re upset about something that happened with Mickie James so Mordetzky has these flowers as a peace offering. Mordetzky should be put in the tournament in Benjamin’s place but that’s a big negative. Chris leaves and Stu yells at Jarrett for making a bad decision. Jeff goes to punch him out but Mordetzky makes the save.

Post break Jeff rants to Karen Jarrett about what just happened.

The four participants in the Nex Gen Title match arrive.

In case you haven’t gotten enough of them yet, here’s a video on the Nex Gen Title match. Maybe we could see these people in the ring instead of in all these videos? This eats nearly fifteen minutes and is just a bunch of “this guy is awesome and this guy is awesome and this title is SO important”.

Nex Gen Title: PJ Black vs. Jigsaw vs. Virgil Flynn vs. TJP

For the inaugural title and it’s one fall to a finish. We get the Big Match Intros just in case you haven’t waited long enough yet. Black won’t shake Jarrett’s hand before the match so we can have a heel. A double superkick puts Black on the floor to start and the other three go for some rapid fire rollups for two each. Black is back in and gets sent outside almost immediately and Flynn does a big spinning headscissors on Jigsaw.

Since we haven’t done it in a few seconds, Black comes back in and gets triple dropkicked out of the air to send him outside. Just give him the title already. TJP gets the Black Widow on Jigsaw before switching to an Indian Deathlock. Just to show off, he gets a northern lights suplex for two on Flynn at the same time. Jigsaw sends TJP outside and slightly botches a backbreaker on Flynn. TJP dives back in to break up a cover and puts Jigsaw in a surfboard with Virgil making a save.

Black is back for a brainbuster on Virgil but Jigsaw hurricanranas him to the floor. Everyone goes to the floor so Flynn dives onto the pile for a big crash. Back in and Jigsaw ties Black in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp from another corner (normally known as a dropkick but not to these commentators) for two. Jigsaw’s kneeling over the back piledriver gets two on TJP with Black making the save. Flynn takes out Black and Jigsaw but charges into a superkick from Jigsaw.

Back up and Jigsaw gets caught in a Doomsday crossbody, leaving Black to hit a Lionsault for two. TJP knocks Black off the top and it’s Flynn with a 450, only to have Jigsaw double stomp (not a dropkick this time) Virgil in the back for the save. Black is right back in though and it’s another 450 to finish TJP at 11:19.

Rating: B. They really telegraphed Black winning the title here, though it was still a good match. The problem is this is nothing that hasn’t been done several times before and several times better by more interesting people. You have to have a match like this on your show and that’s ok, but this is nothing I’m going to remember in a few hours.

Next time: Chael Sonnen gets to talk.

This time: Chael Sonnen gets to talk.

Here’s Chael Sonnen, who does indeed get to talk. Sonnen insults the fans for not knowing how to handle seeing a mega star. There are celebrities and stars and then there is Chael Sonnen. He wants the people to chant his name and take his picture. Now they should introduce themselves to each other. Those people you just met? They’re Chael Sonnen fans.

Anyway Sonnen introduces the highest paid athlete in the spot: himself! He wants a match and doesn’t care who he’s facing. Sonnen goes on a rather nice rant about all the people he can beat before saying he needs to get to his latte in his dressing room so cut his mic. Sonnen has great charisma and can talk, so this was a lot better than I was expecting.

Juicy Joey introduces us to his new partner: Oozing Austin (Jakob Austin Young, an indy guy who hasn’t done anything of note), because Kenny Klimax is gone and Joey likes multiple partners.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Tease N Sleaze vs. Reno Scum

Scum starts fast and takes over on Austin with Luster chopping him down in the corner. A neckbreaker over the ropes keeps him in trouble but it’s off to Joey, who gets punched in the head as well. Something like a bulldog sends Joey face first into Luster’s knee and Thornstowe’s standing moonsault….allows the tag to Austin without much effort.

Thornstowe gets caught in the corner and it’s Joey whipping him into another corner, allowing for some hip thrusting on the mat. Austin’s suplex lets Joey come in for the two count so Thornstowe is right back with a double Blockbuster. Joey gets tied into the Tree of Woe and a Razor’s Edge sends Austin into him. A curb stomp/top rope stomp finishes Austin at 8:30.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the best Scum matches I’ve ever seen and the fact that they were faces probably had a lot to do with it. They beat up an annoying team here, though the switch from Kenny to Austin was rather notable. Austin didn’t show anything here and Joey was just a guy, which is weird today given how much he’s blown up. Not a good match, but not terrible for just a step above a squash.

Of note: the brackets show the Bullet Club in the semifinals, which commentary already said that they had been replaced by another team. I know it’s a taping situation, but that doesn’t exactly make this look well put together.

Kongo Kong is getting his toenails clipped when he shoves his handler (the clipper) away.

Here’s the co-star of Roddy Piper’s final movie for a chat. The movie, the Masked Saint, is now getting great reviews but here’s Tease N Sleaze to interrupt. Joey doesn’t want to hear from this guy because no one takes wrestling more seriously than Joey does. Austin has the chance to make up for the loss, so he punches the actor out…and that’s it. Well I’m depressed.

Luke Gallows says the Bullet Club is missing the show because they got booked in Japan. They’ll be back for the Tag Team Titles.

The Bollywood Boyz are now in the finals against Reno Scum. Good for them.

PJ Black interrupts the announcers to smile at the camera.

Kevin Kross is ready for his three way match to become the new #1 contender. It’s weird hearing him talk like a rational human after his Killer Kross days. Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) is a serious wrestler but he’s getting dropped on his head today.

Kongo Kong vs. Brian Myers vs. Kevin Kross

For the #1 contendership to the Global Title, which doesn’t actually have a champion yet. Kong’s lackey Henry Maxwell handles Kong’s introduction. Before the match, Kevin gets in an argument with MMA fighter Phil Baroni in the front row. Kong goes to the apron to start and Maxwell tells the other two to fight. Chael’s thoughts on Maxwell: he’s a good guy but he’s quit the business since the tapings took place. Kross and Myers go outside to jump Kong and the double teaming begins inside.

Kong fights them off and sends Myers outside so a splash can get two on Kross. A double chokeslam lets Kong go up top and it’s a double superplex to bring him back down. There’s a double spinebuster to take him down again but Kross fisherman suplexes Myers for two instead. A cannonball gets two on Kross so Myers gives him an enziguri. Kong powerbombs Myers onto Kross’ knees and the top rope splash lets Kong finish Myers at 8:45.

Rating: D+. Actually not terrible here and I’m rather surprised by that one. Kong continues to be one of the most embarrassing wrestlers I’ve seen in years though it makes sense to set up a monster for the first champion to face. Myers was his usual game self and Kross has potential, though he needs something to tie it all together. Maybe being a psycho.

Overall Rating: D. While it’s not terrible by any measure, it’s very, very dry and boring, which for me is a lot worse. There is absolutely nothing on here that feels inspired, fresh or even all that good in the first place. While I can understand that this isn’t meant to be watched in marathon form, there is NOTHING on here that would make me want to keep watching for more than about two weeks.

It’s all about the tournaments and I really need more than just one tournament match after another. You get a very minor story here and there but it doesn’t make for good TV and I wanted to stop multiple times throughout. Thank goodness there’s only one part left, but to suggest that this had any sort of a future is ridiculous.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This one is very interesting as the TV leading up to the show has been a cross between boring and really bad, yet the show has one of the best reputations of all time. I’m really curious to see how it goes from such a bad build to such a great show, especially with so much emphasis on Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely and Storm are defending with Morely acting as the new champion due to William Regal being injured. The Dudleys are on the floor in forced servitude to Morely and Eric Bischoff. Van Dam kicks Morely out to the floor to start and it’s Kane diving onto the champs for a cool visual as we take a break. Back with the champs in control and Morely grabbing a chinlock. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as the announcers rip on Morely. The Money Shot misses and it’s off to Kane for the house cleaning.

Storm breaks out of a chokeslam and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. There’s the top rope clothesline for two with Morely making the save, only to eat a jumping kick to the face. The chokeslam looks to set up the Five Star but Rob comes inside before jumping to the top. Morely shoves him off, which makes me think there was some mistiming there. The distraction lets the Dudleys hit a 3D on Storm….and an elbow on Van Dam so the champs can retain the titles.

Rating: D+. That’s certainly how you warm a crowd up. If ever there was a time for an easy title change to give the fans something to cheer for, it should have been this right here. When you consider how soon Kane and Van Dam would get the titles anyway, this really seems like a big head scratcher.

The opening video shows wrestlers getting ready with a collection of voiceovers talking about how important this one night really is. This treats the event with a lot more respect and it’s quite the effective idea. It shows that everyone is in awe of the event itself and makes it feel even bigger.

And now, the theme song Crack Addict. So much for the respect part.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, defending here and accompanied by Shannon Moore, is appearing in his fourth Wrestlemania and often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him. Mysterio is dressed like Daredevil, starting the awesome tradition of dressing like a superhero (most of the time) at Wrestlemania.

Matt is sent outside early on and Rey busts out a corkscrew dive to take both of them down. Rey can’t hit a sunset bomb to the floor so Matt drops him onto the barricade to take over. The Ricochet gets two as Tazz talks about Matt being off the banana juice and moving to tea. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but Matt grabs the Side Effect for two. As Cole talks about loving latex and teabagging (seriously), Matt misses a charge into the post and Rey gets two off a crossbody.

Shannon breaks up the 619 though and now the Twist of Fate gets two. Splash Mountain is loaded up but Rey reverses with a hurricanrana for two more. Shannon makes the save so Rey takes him down before hitting the 619 on Matt. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Matt grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as you want something fast paced but don’t want to overstay your welcome. They were in and out in less than six minutes, which is pretty close to the sweet spot for an opener. Mysterio winning probably would have been the better option but at least he didn’t get the title a week later or something like that.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. I’m with Lance Storm: it’s nonsense that these two got time and the seven minute Tag Team Title match got stuck on Heat.

Nathan Jones was laid out earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. Again, Tag Team Titles on Heat in a short match but time for this.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

A-Train messes with Undertaker’s bike on the way to the ring. If I had a dollar for every time a hairy chested man with nipple piercings adjusted the mirror on my motorcycle….well I’d be poor as I don’t have a motorcycle but the rest happens more often than you would think. Show tries a sneak attack but gets sent to the floor so Undertaker can chokeslam A-Train for two.

Undertaker actually leapfrogs A-Train and drops him with Old School as they’re certainly moving in the early going. A Derailer cuts Undertaker off and Show posts him for good measure. It’s off to Show whose chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. A-Train’s save is countered into a cross armbreaker so Show gets to make a save of his own. We hit an abdominal stretch as Cole wants to know if Undertaker’s stamina is going to hold up after such a long layoff due to injury. We’re four minutes into the match and Undertaker has been back from injury for almost TWO AND A HALF MONTHS Cole, you pathetic nitwit.

A-Train puts on an abdominal stretch of his own and Tazz shows how to do his job by suggesting things Undertaker should do to escape/relieve the pressure. I get that they have different jobs but at least Tazz is saying stuff that makes sense and doesn’t sound stupid. A-Train talks trash and throws some punches until Undertaker mostly misses the running DDT (he was barely touching A-Train).

Running corner clotheslines have the monsters in trouble until A-Train gets in the bicycle kick. Show hits his chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to kick Show’s head off. A-Train takes a big boot from Jones (because the referee doesn’t understand disqualifications) and the Tombstone is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not a bad power match here as I can buy the idea of Undertaker holding his own against these two for eight minutes, especially after he’s shown he can beat them both on his own. The fact that Jones couldn’t even be trusted to wait for people to run into his kicks is incredibly telling and pretty much spells the end of his career.

The Catfight Girls meet Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson, who are standing around looking at Torrie’s Playboy. As various gorgeous women just do. Stacy has a new marketing campaign idea for them and they all leave together.

We take a quick look at the Tag Team Title match from Heat. Add this to the stuff that could have been cut in exchange of just airing the match.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Jazz jumps the champ from behind to start fast and it’s already time for a modified Muta Lock on Trish. Trish gets knocked outside as Lawler thinks this should turn into a love triangle. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two on Trish but has to powerslam Jazz for two.

It’s back to Trish as JR tries to figure out why King called her a quarter among pennies. A sitout powerslam gives Jazz two on Trish but it’s time for a fight with her fellow villain. Jazz kicks Victoria down but gets rolled up for two, followed by the Chick Kick for the same. Victoria gets sent outside, leaving Trish to get caught in the STF.

With Victoria distracting the referee, Richards breaks up the hold so Victoria and Trish can trade rollups (with Victoria’s tights being pulled rather low) for two each. Jazz gets knocked outside, leaving Richards to swing a chair but hit the top rope and knock it back into his own head. The Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title back at 7:18.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as they kept things tight and had everyone moving the entire time, including Richards with the chair to his own head. It made Trish look like the one who survived until the end, though at some point she’s going to have to beat Jazz. You can do that later though as this was all about getting her the title and I’d prefer her to pin the champ than the other challenger.

Rock doesn’t want to hear about the people because they’ve been booing him and calling him a sellout. It’s true that he’s a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s in. Rock has lost to Austin twice at Wrestlemania but Hollywood has taught him that the third act is all that matters.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Team Angle

Team Angle is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The challenging team both beat on a champ until it settles down to Chavo vs. Haas. A dropkick puts Charlie down and it’s off to Benoit, who runs into an armdrag from Guerrero. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo but they ram heads for a double knockdown.

Benoit brings Rhyno in to powerslam Eddie and it’s already off to Benjamin as they’re keeping the pace fast here. A double dropkick gets two on Rhyno but Haas gets taken into the Rhyno corner for a double stomping. Eddie stomps on Rhyno and gets taken into the same corner that Haas got caught in. Benoit catches Eddie on the top with a superplex for two as Benjamin makes the save.

That’s fine with Chris who throws Eddie into the air and pulls him down into the Crossface for a sweet move but Haas makes a save this time. Chavo and Haas come in and everything breaks down. The rolling German suplexes have Chavo in trouble but Benoit walks into a superkick from Benjamin. A legdrop gets two with Eddie dropping a frog splash for the save. Haas suplexes Chavo but turns into the Gore. Chavo eats one as well, only to have Benjamin steal the pin to retain the titles at 8:46.

Rating: B-. I don’t remember liking this one this much but they didn’t stop for the entire match. Benoit and Rhyno are still an odd choice for a tag team but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were setting up for Benoit and Edge in this spot before he got hurt. Team Angle needed this win and that’s the right call out of the three options.

Torrie and Stacy get in a fight over whether Vince or Hulk created Wrestlemania. The Catfight Girls do the same (though one of them keeps calling him Holgan) and agree to settle this in bed.

King is mesmerized.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Chris seems jealous that Shawn is back and getting attention. He’s wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but now he wants to be the first Chris Jericho by defeating Shawn at Wrestlemania. This has been a long build but they’ve been smart to wait until here for the match. Shawn accepted the challenge with a superkick and telling Jericho that he would see him at Wrestlemania in a moment I always liked.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to fire some confetti cannons on the way to the ring but some of them fail to go off, prompting an “eh what are you going to do” look. Jericho on the other hand just looks down at him in disdain in the perfect response. Some early armdrags frustrate Jericho so Shawn lounges on the top rope.

Back up and Shawn kicks him away without too much effort as they’re still firmly in first gear. Jericho is ready for a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face, earning himself a right hand to the jaw and a trip to the floor. Back in and Jericho scores with a spinwheel kick but a bulldog is countered with a good crotching. We hit a random Figure Four but Jericho reverses pretty quickly.

They head outside again with Shawn hitting a nice plancha, only to get caught in the Walls in the aisle. The bad back is sent into the post as Jericho has a big target to work with now. Back in and Jericho yells about how he’s better than Shawn as he stays on the back in a variety of ways. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before Shawn grabs a DDT to get him out of trouble.

Jericho nips up and hits the forearm into Shawn’s pose, which you just don’t do at Wrestlemania. Shawn makes his comeback (with two nipups of his own) and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence (as required by a classic like this) for a couple of twos each. Jericho is Lionsault for two more before countering a hurricanrana into the Walls. Shawn grabs the rope so Jericho elbows him in the jaw and tunes up the band.

Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and the fans seemed to buy that as the finish. Shawn teases the Walls but goes with a catapult into the post for two instead. It’s Jericho up first with a belly to back superplex but Shawn reverses into a crossbody in mid-air for yet another near fall.

The top rope elbow gets the same but the real Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Walls again. Just like last time, Shawn grabs the ropes though this time he follows up with more Chin Music for a very delayed two. Both guys are spent so Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex, only to have Shawn flip over and grab a rollup with his legs for the pin at 22:31.

Rating: A. Oh come on like this one needs an explanation. These two were both on fire here and just had an awesome match. It’s the match that made it clear Shawn had more than just a few performances in him as he felt a lot more like the older version here, which is exactly what the match needed to be. Jericho being able to do every athletic thing Shawn could do but not be able to outsmart him is a perfect story in a similar vein to Shawn vs. Shelton Benjamin a few years later. Great match here and one of the best Shawn had in his comeback.

They hug post match but Jericho kicks him low like the heel he is.

The evil referee from Montreal goes to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit takes their sweet time performing Crack Addict.

Here are the Catfight Girls to fight on a bed set up on stage. Cue Stacy and Torrie to join in. Girls are stripped, pillows are swung and Coach is pantsed and pinned. Again, World Tag Team Titles not on the show but these girls get like four segments.

We recap HHH vs. Booker T. which focuses on Booker’s criminal past. That’s firmly established before the “someone like you doesn’t deserve to be World Champion” line is made. It’s a better way to go about it but there’s no good way to spin that statement. Basically Booker is fighting for his one big moment and HHH is defending because….well because it’s Wrestlemania and what else is he supposed to do?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T.

HHH is defending and comes out first for some reason. JR talks about Booker becoming a five time WCW Champion so King says that place was a joke. JR: “How long did you work there?” King: “Never.” JR: “Well I did.” King: “Was it a joke?” JR: “D*** right.” A hard lockup takes them into the corner where they trade chops and some right hands. Booker charges into a boot to the face and HHH goes up top, only to get armdragged down. You would think Flair would have taught him better but if Ric never learned, HHH didn’t need to either.

The announcers bicker over whether or not Booker was born on a pool table which turns into a discussion of Fink being drunk last night. Booker gets sent outside and goes into the steps as the pace slows a lot (yes, in a HHH match). A neckbreaker gets two on Booker and a spinebuster gets the same.

Booker slips out of a suplex and grabs a DDT for his first offense in a long time. The jumping knee and a facebuster cut Booker off but he comes back with a spinebuster. HHH goes up again for some reason and dives into a boot to the face. Seriously they never learn. The scissors kick only hits ropes and Booker falls out to the floor as he was getting dangerously close to beating up HHH and that must be stopped.

Flair sends Booker’s knee into the steps and it’s time for an Indian Deathlock back inside as we flash back to 1974. Back up and the knee is done but Booker grabs a sunset flip for a fast two. A jumping elbow to the jaw puts HHH down again and there’s the ax kick for no cover.

Flair’s distraction has no effect as Booker hits the Houston Hangover, which thankfully isn’t followed up on because the knee gives out again. They stagger to their feet with Booker’s knee preventing him from trying another ax kick. Instead it’s the Pedigree, the completely ridiculous 24 second wait, and then the pin with one hand over Booker’s chest to retain the title at 18:44.

Rating: C+. And there goes Booker’s main event career for the next few years. Aside from being a somewhat boring match, that ending is unforgivable. There’s no reason to not give Booker the title here, even if it’s just until Backlash. The leg stuff at the end was better but this was WAY too much HHH with Booker only having a few hope spots here and there. He didn’t even get the big two count at any point. This was all about HHH establishing that he is the one and only star on Raw no matter what and that’s a major problem. Booker needed this win, or at least anything other than a clean loss.

Long recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon for the show’s real main event. Basically Vince suddenly decided that he hated Hogan for leaving the company ten years ago and testifying against him in the steroids trial so they had to have a fight. This was suddenly elevated to the biggest match of all time despite there not really being a clear reason why Vince started hating Hogan in the first place. If it was mentioned at the start, it was completely bogged down in all the mess that followed. This is at worst the second biggest match on the show and while not surprising, that’s probably not the best idea in the world.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight and if Hogan loses, he has to retire. Hogan “spears” Vince down because that’s the kind of thing Hogan is known to do. Some slow motion (expect to hear that a lot in this one) right hands have Vince in trouble and Hulk stomps him in the corner. A clothesline gives Vince a breather and he throws those awkward punches. Now it’s off to an armbar because that’s what you want to see from these two in a street fight.

Hogan fights out of the test of strength but Vince is smart enough to kick him in the gut. That’s so effective that they do it three straight times before Vince sends him outside. Hogan gets posted but still manages to avoid a chair shot. Instead it’s Hulk chairing Vince in the head and of course we’ve got some blood (you knew that was coming and you know it’s coming from Hulk too).

More chair shots have Vince reeling, though not enough to knock him out, because Vince is more manly than your average wrestler. Another chair shot hits the Spanish announcer in the head because this match needed additional casualties. Vince low blows him and gets in his own chair shot to draw Hogan’s blood as this is already dragging. And now…..it’s ladder time, which certainly picks things up a bit.

A monitor shot to the head puts Hogan on the table and Vince climbs up, puts his hand to his ear, and drops a leg (which doesn’t hit Hogan but it’s a great visual nonetheless) to destroy the table and freak the crowd out all over again. Vince throws Hogan inside and grabs a pipe from underneath the ring. In the visual of the match, Vince very slowly raises his bloody head over the apron and gives the kind of evil smile that only he can pull off. It’s a great shot too and makes up for a lot of this match.

Hogan hits him low to put both guys down….and here’s Roddy Piper, looking so out of shape that he makes Hogan look great. Piper teases hitting both of them before knocking Hogan out with the pipe (Why this is considered a surprise is beyond me. They’re mortal enemies whose feud was the reason for the first Wrestlemania main event. Why was him attacking Hogan ever in doubt?).

That’s only good for two so Vince beats up the referee, drawing out the evil referee from earlier in the night, along with a regular referee. Vince pipes Hogan again, giving us that flopping around like a fish selling. It’s Hulk Up time with Hulk beating up both Vince and the evil referee. The big boot and three legdrops finish Vince at 20:48.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen this match several times and it’s actually grown on me a lot. The expectations were through the floor coming in and it’s a pretty fun old people brawl. It’s dumb, goofy fun and while it’s WAY too long (you could easily cut eight minutes if not more), it’s one of those matches where you knew what you were getting and that’s exactly what was delivered. Vince’s complete over the top visuals made it even better. It’s not good of course but it’s fun, which is a lot more important for something like this.

Hogan poses as Shane comes out to check on his father. We get a staredown but Hogan seems to understand that he doesn’t have any issues with Shane.

You can already hear Cole’s voice giving out.

We recap Steve Austin vs. The Rock. This is ALL about Rock as Austin is on fumes and it’s not exactly a secret. Basically Rock is ticked off about being booed last year in Toronto and turned into the most amazing heel in the world as a result. The only thing he has left to do in his career is beat Austin at Wrestlemania and this is probably his last chance. This gets the music video treatment but it can only get so far when one person is doing 90% of the work in the feud (not really a criticism of Austin but Rock was just on another planet at this point).

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Writing that one never gets old. The camera follows Austin from behind in a pretty unique shot which works quite well. They stare each other down to start with Austin hitting the first right hands. The threat of a Stunner sends Rock bailing to the floor so Austin beats him over the announcers’ table and whips him into the steps.

Back in and Austin chokes a bit (that’s somewhat out of character) and gets two off a suplex. Rock gets in a chop block to get a breather with Austin bailing out to the floor. The kicks to the leg have Austin staggering around and Rock wraps the leg around the post. We hit the Sharpshooter with Austin fighting to the ropes as you can really feel the lack of fire in this one.

It’s intense but it’s clear that Austin doesn’t have that high gear anymore. The leg is wrapped around the post again and Rock grabs Austin’s vest. That’s too much for Austin so it’s some bad punches and a double clothesline for another breather. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow get two as Austin is getting some fire going.

A Rock Bottom gives Austin two but Rock comes back with a Stunner. Austin grabs the real thing for two more but Rock cuts him off with a low blow. The vest comes off and the People’s Elbow gets two. The Rock Bottom gets the same, followed by two more to FINALLY put Austin away at 17:55.

Rating: B+. I know there were outside circumstances (Austin spent the previous night in the hospital due to drinking too much alcohol and caffeine) but this would have felt so much bigger as the main event. It’s a very good match and feels big at times but when you have the history that these two have, nothing is going to live up to that standard.

Austin not being able to keep up with Rock was a great way to show that Rock was the better man that night and even with the fire not as hot as before, Austin is still worth seeing at any point. This is another one that’s grown on me and while it might not be as great, it felt important, which is what matters most here.

After thanking Austin for what happened (not audibly but he’s since said that’s what was he was doing), Rock leaves Austin for the big hero’s sendoff. This wasn’t billed as Austin’s farewell but it turned out to be his retirement match. It would have been a great way to close the show, but I get the idea of not wanting that to be the case if Austin couldn’t go. It’s a bit of a disappointment but at least he got the big moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock got cheated out of the title at Survivor Series and has gone on a path of destruction to get it back, including winning the Royal Rumble. Angle has used every possible way out of facing him but tonight he’s out of escapes and has nothing left to do but fight. The fact that his neck is being held together by paperclips and duct tape is just a detail because Angle has a low level of sanity. This feels like a major showdown, which is all you can ask for out of the main event of Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar, with bad ribs, is challenging and can win the title via DQ or countout. Angle grabs a front facelock but Brock throws him off and we’re back to a standoff. Kurt’s headlock has about the same effect but he breaks up Brock’s armbar. Lesnar grabs a powerslam, only to get caught in the first German suplex. Brock pops right to his feet though, sending Angle bailing to the floor as they’re not laying into each other just yet.

Back in and a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”) plants Angle, who cuts off a charge with a boot. A German suplex into the corner messes with the ribs again and it’s off to something like an STF from the side. Angle lets go of the legs and switches to something closer to a Bank Statement. Brock won’t tap so Angle suplexes him with ease. That earns him a spinebuster though, which Angle is crazy to take with such a bad neck.

Brock hits his own suplexes but Angle pops up and rolls some German suplexes of his own. Neither finisher can hit so Angle trips him into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope….which doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Instead Angle switches to a half crab, followed by a running knee to the back. Brock backdrops him to the floor, again because Angle is freaking nuts.

Back in and the Angle Slam gets two, which Cole says has never happened before. I find that very hard to believe. The F5 gets two more but Kurt gets the ankle lock with a grapevine. Brock manages to drag him over to the ropes for the break, followed by another F5. Instead of covering though, Brock heads up top.

In one of the scariest moments in wrestling history, Brock tries a shooting star press (apparently suggested by Johnny Ace) but leaves it short, landing square on his head and knocking himself completely silly. With his eyes glazed over, Brock hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:09.

Rating: A-. This started off rather slowly but then picked up the pace to become one heck of a hard hitting fight. Angle did everything he could with all the suplexes and left it all in the ring in what might have been his last match. Lesnar did everything he needed to do (save for hitting that shooting star) and if he had nailed the finish, this would go up several notches. It’s a great finish and the kind of main event that Smackdown should have put on at this point. Excellent match.

Lesnar is GONE as he tries to pull himself up.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. The more I watch this show, the more I appreciate it. There’s nothing bad on the card with the worst match being either Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train or the street fight and even those are watchable. There’s also a great selection of top matches, though HHH vs. Booker leaves a lot to be desired. That being said, Jericho vs. Shawn, Rock vs. Austin and the main event are more than enough to make this a classic.

My main issue is still the same: the show could use a breather between all of the top matches. I could have gone for swapping in say the women’s triple threat or the Smackdown Tag Team Title match in between the street fight and Rock vs. Austin, just for the sake of a little breathing room. The way it’s done is more than fine though and it would only have been improved with a few tweaks.

Overall, it’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever but I can’t put it above or really near the level of X7. There’s some great stuff here but it’s not enough to top everything that show has to offer. I could easily see this being the second best Wrestlemania of all time (it’s in the top three or four at the absolute worst) and that’s some pretty high levels of quality.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Just like last year though, the Rock is in a match that is probably the real main event. After making even more movies, the Rock has gone Hollywood and become one of the most effective villains in a long time. With everything he’s accomplished though, there was one thing that had eluded him: defeating Steve Austin at Wrestlemania, which he would try one more time here. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely (Val Venis as a lackey to Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff) and Storm are defending. Storm’s original partner was William Regal but he had a heart condition and Morely named himself the new champion. The Dudley Boyz are in the champs’ corner because they’re stuck helping them to save their jobs. Van Dam and Kane are kind of an oddball team but they work well together. Storm goes after Kane to start and is quickly sent out to the floor with Morely following him. Van Dam loads up the dive but Kane does it instead and takes out Storm and Morely at the same time.

We take a break (remember this is on TV still) and come back with Morely chopping away at Van Dam as JR’s audio levels are all over the place. We hit the sleeper on Van Dam but he reverses into one of his own. That works as well as a sleeper is going to work for a good guy so Rob kicks Storm in the face and makes the tag off to Kane for some house cleaning. Kane’s top rope clothesline gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. The chokeslam plants Storm but Morely breaks up the Five Star. In the melee, the Dudleys 3D Storm….and then Bubba elbows Van Dam to give Storm the pin at 10:00.

Rating: C-. Now this one is confusing. Not the result of the match as the Dudleys were doing what they had to do, but the way the titles would change. Van Dam and Kane would win them the next night, which begs the question of why you wouldn’t do the change here for a feel good moment. Storm and Morely weren’t interesting champions so why would you keep the belts on them here?

Ashanti sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is similar to last year with big names talking about how big Wrestlemania is to them and every other wrestler in the world. This video is really similar to last year’s because a lot of the audio clips are the same, including one from Undertaker calling Wrestlemania a fever and one from Hogan talking about slamming Andre. You really can’t get something new recorded?

JR and Lawler are at a table away from ringside as they were every week on Raw.

The aisle is crooked again this year.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending with a completely new character called Version 1. He’s basically a self obsessed motivational speaker who believed in a philosophy called Mattitude, complete with Matt Facts (such as “Matt is appearing at his 4^th Wrestlemania” and “Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him.”) during his entrance and a Mattitude Follower (MF’er) named Shannon Moore. Mysterio begins his Wrestlemania tradition of wearing a superhero costume as he’s dressed like Daredevil.

Moore tries to distract Rey to start but Mysterio throws both of them to the floor and hits a big corkscrew dive. Back in and the Ricochet (a lifting side slam) gets two for the champ and Shannon gets in some more (Moore?) choking but Matt crotches himself on the ropes. The Side Effect gets two more though and we hit a double arm crank. The idea here is that Matt is barely beneath the Cruiserweight limit so he’s a good bit bigger and stronger than most wrestlers in the division.

Matt misses a charge into the post as Cole is trying to figure out what tea bagging means. A quick headscissors looks to set up the 619 but Moore makes the save, setting up Matt’s Twist of Fate for two. Rey goes to the ropes but gets caught in a bottom rope Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge into a powerbomb), only to reverse it with a hurricanrana for two. Now the 619 connects but Matt ducks the West Coast Pop. Rey tries a victory roll instead but Matt falls on top and grabs the rope to retain at 5:43.

Rating: C+. This was a simple idea and the match worked quite well. The Moore stuff makes good sense as it’s almost impossible to believe that Matt was going to be able to beat Rey in a cruiserweight match on his own. Matt cheating every way he could and then bragging about being the best cruiserweight of all time was classic heel mentality. I wouldn’t have minded this getting more time but it’s fine the way it is.

The Miller Lite catfight girls are here. These are your celebrities for the show as they were good looking women who would argue over various things and then fight over them.

We recap Undertaker’s partner Nathan Jones being laid out by Big Show and A-Train (Albert) on Heat. This potentially makes the match a handicap match instead of the announced tag, which was rumored to be due to Jones being so horrible that he couldn’t be trusted to have a match on live TV yet.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. A-Train and Big Show had been loosely associated since the beginning of the year so this made sense for a major show. Big Show tries to sneak up on Undertaker as A-Train is adjusting Undertaker’s mirror. You just don’t do that to a biker. As you might expect, a 500lb 7’2 monster isn’t very stealthy and Undertaker sends him to the floor before chokeslamming A-Train for two.

Things settle down and Undertaker leapfrogs (!) A-Train before scoring with Old School. The Derailer (chokebomb) plants Undertaker and it’s Big Show driving Undertaker back first into the post. The fans tell the very hairy A-Train to shave his back as Undertaker slugs away at both of them. A Fujiwara armbar has Show in trouble but A-Train makes the save, only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. This is an important shift in Undertaker as he was starting to become more of an MMA/power wrestler hybrid instead of using the big power style he had done for years. He would use the new style for the rest of his career.

Show hooks an abdominal stretch with A-Train pulling for additional help. A-Train puts on one of his own until Undertaker suplexes his way out. It’s time for right hands from Undertaker and A-Train is in way over his large head. A running DDT drops Show and it’s off to Show who gets pummeled as well. All three are in now and a bicycle kick drops Undertaker, setting up the chokeslam from Big Show. That should be enough but Show charges down the aisle to meet Nathan Jones who spin kicks him in the face. Back in and Jones boots A-Train in the face, setting up the Tombstone for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Jones doing the only thing he should have been doing. The guy was big and had a great look but at the end of the day you have to be able to do more than stare at someone and throw an awesome spin kick. Undertaker works well against monsters like Show and A-Train as can move better than both of them and the offense is fast enough to work.

Undertaker waves the American flag.

The catfight girls talk to Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson who are casually flipping through Torrie’s Playboy. They praise each other a bit and Stacy has a new marketing idea (she’s currently Test’s publicist and has named his fans Testicles). Production guy: “Great job guys! Let’s move on from there!”

We look back at the tag match on Heat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria (a borderline psycho later known as Tara in TNA) is defending here and has what I guess you would call her boyfriend Steven Richards with her. Jazz goes after Trish to start and puts on something like Austin Aries’ Last Chancery. Victoria’s save earns her a kick in the face and Trish comes back with forearms to Jazz’s face. Lawler wants the match to turn into a love triangle.

Victoria gets two off a slingshot legdrop and Jazz does the same. Well minus the slingshot that is. The villains start double teaming Trish with a double shoulder breaker. That ends their partnership so it’s Trish back in with a rollup for two on Trish, who Lawler calls a quarter among pennies. JR: “….what does that mean?” Jazz kicks Victoria in the face by mistake and Trish does the same to Jazz for two.

That’s enough for Jazz as she sends Victoria to the floor and puts Trish in an STF. Richards makes a quick save to protect the title so Trish grabs a rollup on Victoria, pulling her tights partially down in the process. Lawler’s thrills continue as Jazz gives Trish a double chicken wing, only to get sent outside. It’s Richards coming in again but he chairs himself and gets bulldogged, allowing Trish to kick Victoria in the chest for the pin and the title at 7:17.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here again with all three working hard and not being stuck in a death slot. Trish has proven that she can hang with anyone in the division and may be better than anyone has seen in a long time. This worked better than last year’s match as two heels often work better than two heroes and that’s exactly what happened here. You could really see how much Trish has grown as a worker in this one.

Rock doesn’t want to hear from the people because they booed Rock last year at Wrestlemania. After everything he’s done, this is the last chance he’ll have to beat Steve Austin one time at Wrestlemania. Not being able to beat Austin is consuming him but since he’s been in Hollywood, he’s learned that people only remember act three. Tonight he’s beating Austin so he can say he’s done it all.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle

Team Angle (Kurt’s very talented enforcers/lackeys Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) are defending and this is one fall to a finish. The Smackdown Tag Team Titles were a major highlight in late 2002 and this has potential to be good. Everyone goes at it to start until it’s Chavo and Haas to get things going with Chavo scoring with a suplex and dropkick.

Eddie comes in with a slingshot hilo and you can really see how much he’s matured in recent years. It’s off to Rhyno to face Eddie with the power guy throwing Eddie in to the corner for a tag off to Shelton. Tazz is talking about dissecting lizards for no apparent reason until Benoit German suplexes Haas for two. It’s back to Eddie who gets caught in Benoit and Rhyno’s corner for a double teaming.

Chris superplexes him down for two but Eddie comes back with some suplexes into a brainbuster. Control keeps changing here but there isn’t much of a story going on. Chavo gets the tag but Benoit rolls some German suplexes. Everything breaks down and Shelton superkicks Benoit before dropping a leg for two. Eddie makes the save with a frog splash and Rhyno Gores Haas. A second Gore hits Chavo but Shelton grabs the pin to retain at 8:46.

Rating: C+. Another fun match but for a different reason. As was the case on Smackdown at this point, this was all about the action and a fast pace which worked very well, especially given the wrestlers the roster had. This was a nice change from the earlier matches and entertained throughout.

The catfight girls get in a fight about whether Mr. McMahon or Hulk “Holgan” made Wrestlemania what it is. Their solution: settle it in bed. You can imagine Lawler’s response.

We have about two hours and forty five minutes to go and five matches left on the card. More on this later but it’s going to be a stacked rest of the show.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Michaels made an amazing return to the ring in late 2002 and is starting to come back full time. Jericho was happy at first because he had always wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but realized it would be better to be the first Chris Jericho. What better way to do that than to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania? Shawn didn’t accept the challenge at first but one week Jericho was going through the curtain and got knocked backwards by a superkick. Shawn came out and knelt over him, saying he would see Jericho at Wrestlemania.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Shawn has some confetti cannons to launch but some of them won’t go off. Feeling out process to start as Shawn’s headscissors doesn’t get him anywhere. Instead Shawn lays on the top rope because Jericho is boring him. Jericho tries to take him down but Shawn kicks him away and it’s another stalemate. With nothing else working it’s time to start punching with Shawn knocking Jericho out to the floor.

Back in and Jericho starts throwing more right hands but his bulldog is broken up, allowing Shawn to put on a Figure Four. It’s way too early for that though so Chris sends him shoulder first into the post. Back up and Shawn has to skin the cat, allowing him to headscissor Jericho back to the floor. A plancha takes Jericho down but he puts on the Walls in the aisle.

They’re already trading bigger shots and the match is at a nice pace to start. Shawn’s bad back is sent into the post as Lawler explains the idea of a young lion challenging the elder of the pack. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back for a bit before Jericho hits Shawn with his own forearm into the nipup. As Chris poses, Shawn nips up as well and hits his own forearm. A pinfall reversal sequence gets some quick two counts and Jericho gets a longer near fall off the Lionsault.

With nothing else working, Jericho puts on the Walls of Jericho but Shawn is quickly in the ropes. Jericho keeps up the psychology with a backbreaker and keeps up the story of the match with his own Sweet Chin Music for a very close two. With almost nothing else working, Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but gets countered into a cross body for two of his own.

The top rope elbow means it’s time for the real comeback but the Chin Music is reversed into the Walls. The ropes are reached again but Jericho charges straight into the superkick. Jericho kicks out AGAIN and the fans gasp. Back up and Shawn counters a belly to back into a victory roll for the surprise pin at 22:34.

Rating: A. This is the match where it was clear that Shawn was back and back for good. It felt like 1995 again and Shawn was one of the best in the world, able to hang with anyone they put him out there again. Jericho looked like a star as well and there’s a case that he should have won. Shawn needed a win to reestablish himself in matches like this but Jericho needed it just as much. Still though, it’s an absolute classic.

They shake hands post match but Jericho kicks him low like a real villain.

Crooked referee Sylvan Grenier (who screwed Hogan out of his rematch with Rock the previous month) goes in to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit performs the show’s theme song: Crack Addict. As you might guess, this name was never mentioned on WWE TV leading up to the show. This is such a waste of time and there’s little other way to describe it.

Wrestlemania XX is in New York.

Cole and Tazz remember that they’re here and talk about Wrestlemania XX a bit. Limp Bizkit gets a thank you as well.

The catfight girls come out for their fight in bed (on the stage, meaning a good chunk of the stadium can barely see them. Stacy and Torrie come out to join them, they fight, clothing is removed, and Coach gets pantsed and pinned. Did I mention it’s been twelve minutes since the last match ended?

We recap Booker T. vs. HHH for the Raw World Title, which is the feud that was about racism but they didn’t actually say it was about racism. Booker won a battle royal for a shot at the title but then HHH started saying that “someone like Booker” didn’t get to win the World Title. The idea would eventually be presented as someone who grew up poor and had been in prison but make no mistake about it: it sounded like racism.

Raw World Title: Booker T. vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him as part of Evolution. He also has his special purple trunks instead of the normal black. Booker gets the better of it to start and armdrags HHH off the middle rope. JR rips on the Fink for being drunk last night as Booker is backdropped to the apron and send into the post. A neckbreaker and spinebuster get two each for the champ and he cuts off Booker’s comeback with a DDT.

Lawler stays on Booker being an ex-con and JR almost does some very bad swearing. We hit the sleeper, which HHH tried as hard as he could to get over as a finisher. Booker will have none of that so it’s a jumping knee to the face instead. For some reason HHH goes to the middle rope for an ax handle but Booker nails him square in the jaw with a jumping side kick.

The scissors kick only hits the ropes though and Flair drops him knee first onto the steps to take over. Off to an old (as in very old, like Harley Race old) school Indian Deathlock from the champ to keep the crowd from being interested. This is one of the many problems from HHH at this point: he kept trying to be Harley Race without realizing that the fans got more bored than angry at him. That worked for Race, not HHH trying to be Race. It didn’t help that he held the title forever and the fans were waiting on the same endings he always used to hold onto it. That’s a very dangerous formula and it went on far too long.

The hold is finally broken up and Booker rolls through a knee crusher into a sunset flip for two. The referee gets almost gets crushed but thankfully stays up to see Booker score with the scissors kick. Booker goes up top and shoves Flair down so he can hit the Houston Hangover (top rope flip legdrop), only to bang up his knee even worse. That means it’s Pedigree time and twenty five seconds later, HHH puts a single hand over Booker to retain at 18:45. Booker’s eyes were open when he pushed himself over so HHH could cover him.

Rating: D+. The match is your standard HHH formula for the time: slow, dull, and the completely wrong ending. This should have been HHH dropping the title to Booker to break up his nine month long reign before he had to lose it to Goldberg later. Instead of losing it here and winning it back in a month, HHH wins again to put Booker WAY in the back of the line as a big choker. Such is life in 2003 though and the fans were absolutely sick of it. It would take another year before this would really change, and even then it didn’t quite work.

We recap Hogan vs. McMahon. This is another feud that really didn’t need to happen but we got it anyway because that’s what they decided was going to happen. It turned into a feud about who made Wrestlemania and/or Hulkamania and then the steroids trial of the early 90s where Hogan testified against Vince. This could go anywhere between a disaster and hilarious fun but it should be easy to figure out which is more likely.

Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk’s career is on the line and it’s a street fight. For reasons that still aren’t clear to me to this day, Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child instead of Real American. Vince slaps him in the face so Hogan spears him down to start, meaning they’re in for a real brawl here. Hogan throws his bandana at him and stomps away in the corner to Vince hits him low. We’re treated to some lame attempts at wrestling with Vince working on the arm. Well it’s better than Jay Leno in 1998.

Ever the cocky one, Vince tries a test of strength but he’s actually smart enough to kick Hogan in the ribs to take over. The hold stays on to eat up a long stretch until Vince finally throws him out to the floor. We get to the street fight part as Vince grabs a chair but he hits the post by mistake. Instead Hulk blasts Vince in the head and we’ve got a very busted open boss. It’s time for a fresh chair to go over Vince’s back but Hogan knocks out Spanish commentator Hugo Savinovich by mistake (I never liked him anyway).

Vince comes back with a chair shot of his own….and here’s a ladder. Oh geez this is going to be bad. Hulk takes a monitor to the head and Vince loads up the announcers’ table. The boss climbs up and does the Hogan hand to the ear, followed by a huge legdrop (close enough at least) to put Hogan through the table. That really doesn’t get as big of a reaction as you would expect. We FINALLY get some help for Hugo as Vince throws Hulk inside for two.

Vince heads to the floor and grabs a steel pipe from the floor. He very slowly leers over the apron with a look on his face that is a perfect mix of evil and hilariously stupid. Only Vince could pull that off. Hogan hits him low to survive……and hokey smoke Roddy Piper is here. Looking like he’s eaten Scotland, Piper picks up the pipe, spits on both guys and hits Hogan.

Piper leaves as Vince gets a slow two. Vince goes for the pipe but the referee takes it away, earning him a trip to the floor. Cue Sylvan Grenier to take over as referee as Vince hits Hogan with the pipe again. There’s a legdrop to Hogan and it’s Hulk Up time. Grenier takes a beating of his own and the usual (with three legdrops) puts Vince away at an insane 20:49.

Rating: D+. Heaven help me but I liked this. You have to know what you’re getting here but at least they did enough entertaining stuff. Vince is always good for a garbage street fight when you need one and Hogan is Hogan. It’s definitely not high quality or anything but it’s a fun guilty pleasure as long as you remember that it’s terrible and just have fun with it.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on his dad. Ever the evil loser, Vince flips Hogan off.

We recap Austin vs. Rock. Last June, Austin walked out on the company but came back for one last quick run (he had three matches, two of which were against Eric Bischoff) and one last showdown with Rock at Wrestlemania. This gets the music video treatment, again with Crack Addict. You can see that a lot of the fire is out of Austin at this point and it’s kind of sad to see.

Austin was actually in the hospital the night before this due to his body breaking down from stress and WAY too many energy drinks, meaning he almost couldn’t wrestle this match. He really shouldn’t be out there but he refused to cancel the match. This might have even gone on last otherwise, which would have made a lot more sense.

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

We get the ultra cool Hollywood Rock entrance of a helicopter flying through Los Angeles until Rock’s voice finally says “is cookin.” To go from the superhero that he was to the best version of this persona ever is a showcase of how great Rock really was. Austin looks WAY off here so this is pretty much all up to Rock. Rock loses a slugout and the threat of a Stunner sends him to the floor.

Austin follows him out and hammers away before just ripping at Rock’s face back inside. The brawling continues as they go back to the floor with Rock going after Austin’s heavily braced knees. Lawler: “That brace is made of metal!” JR: “Well what would you make a knee brace out of?” The bad leg (well one of them anyway) goes around the post and Rock kicks Austin in the leg to stop a comeback. Rock puts on the Sharpshooter until Austin makes the ropes, so why not put on Austin’s vest.

That’s too much for Austin so he comes back, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. The real comeback includes the Thesz press and middle finger elbow. Rock scores with a running clothesline into a nipup of his own, only to walk into a Rock Bottom from Austin. As you might expect, Rock comes right back with a Stunner) and still manages to talk trash as he tries to get up.

Now it’s Rock hammering away but Austin grabs a Stunner out of nowhere for two. You knew it was going to take more than one. The referee takes an elbow to the face, allowing Rock to get in a low blow. He finally takes off Austin’s vest and drops the People’s Elbow for two. A Rock Bottom plants Austin for two and the fans are shocked. The second Rock Bottom gets the same and Rock’s frustration sets back in. A third Rock Bottom finally puts Austin away at 17:56.

Rating: B+. Much like five years ago with Michaels, you have to consider Austin’s condition when you think about this match. Austin was barely able to walk out there and he had one heck of a match. That being said, this was ALL Rock as he had to carry the match, meaning it’s not quite as good as their previous stuff. It’s still really entertaining though and a great way to end maybe the best main event rivalry of all time.

Rock stays next to Austin for a minute and says “I love you and thank you for everything.” Austin has to walk to the back with Earl Hebner but stops to toast the fans one more time. This was Austin’s retirement match and that’s the best idea all around. You could see that it was slipping from him (again, mainly due to the neck) so it was good that he went out while he could still have a great one.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Brock had lost the title due to Paul Heyman turning on him late last year and Angle took the title from new champion Big Show. Lesnar won the Royal Rumble to get another shot, but Angle is in horrible shape coming into this due to his neck flaring up as well. This is being set up as a major showdown between the most real wrestlers in the company and the intensity is all there.

There was a very real chance that they were going to have to swap someone else in (possibly Chris Benoit) if Kurt couldn’t go but he somehow got cleared to wrestle here before taking some time off. There was even another title match scheduled on Smackdown to change the title but Angle held the belt by changing places with his brother Eric.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Angle is defending but he loses the title if anyone interferes. Kurt has that awesome red jacket with the hood on the way to the ring. You can hear Cole’s voice almost out from shouting so much. Brock, with some lightly taped up ribs, comes out second and as Tazz puts it: “Well, here comes the pain.” They get technical to start with Angle getting the better of it, complete with an uppercut to the jaw. Brock finally brings in the strength with a powerslam but Kurt snaps off a German to stay on the ribs.

Lesnar pops right back up with a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”), only to have Angle German suplex him into the corner. Off to something like an STF on Brock and Tazz is actually on fire with the analysis and throwing out move names. Brock finally turns it over into a rear naked choke before just pulling back on the throat. The hold is finally broken so Kurt throws him with a belly to belly. That’s fine with Brock who plants the champion with a spinebuster, only to hurt the ribs again in the process.

It’s Brock’s turn for a high angle belly to belly and a second is good for two. Kurt comes back with some more Germans but neither guy can hit their finisher. Instead Kurt trips Brock to the mat and puts on the ankle lock, which is one of my biggest annoyances. He’s worked on the ribs all match but goes for a completely different body part because that’s his hold. Thankfully he switches it over to a half crab to stay on the ribs. It isn’t likely to get a submission but it can soften Brock up for something else that could beat him.

Back up and Brock sends him the floor before firing off some shoulders into the spine. That earns him a release German suplex for two and an Angle Slam for the same. The F5 gets two more but Kurt grabs the ankle lock, complete with the grapevine. Brock crawls over to the ropes, becoming the first man to survive the grapevine version. Another Angle Slam is countered into another F5 but Brock doesn’t cover.

Instead he looks to the top rope and smiles. Brock goes up top and tries a shooting star press but leaves it WAY short (To be fair, Angle was over halfway across the ring. No one could pull it off from that far away, though Brock has hit the move before so it wasn’t as crazy as it sounds) and lands square on his head in an absolutely terrifying spot. Brock looks like he’s on another planet (probably because he is) but still hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:08.

Rating: B+. This is a good match but as is so often the case with either guy, the suplexes get repetitive. The ending really hurts it too but the match is a classic if the shooting star connects. It would have blown the fans away but instead it was a scary landing, which really can’t be blamed on Brock as Angle was too far away (not his fault either). Really good match but it’s a step beneath some others.

The look on Brock’s face is really scary as he’s clearly gone. They shake hands and the highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. If you tweak a few things here, this is in the running for the greatest show of all time. However, stuff like the musical performances and the Miller Lite girls really hold things back. Hogan vs. Vince isn’t as good as the Shane vs. Vince match from two years ago but it’s fun in a different way.

The show is still great though and could have been better if they had swapped the card a bit. The five major matches in a row needed to be broken up a little bit, maybe with the Undertaker match moved in between Vince vs. Hogan and Rock vs. Austin, which probably should have gone last. All of the problems (which are minor) aside though, this is still a great show and one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time.

Ratings Comparison

Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

HHH vs. Booker T

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

Everything seems about the same here, though that women’s match keeps growing on me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/26/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-19-overrated/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/28/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xix/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re into the brand split now, which means there are two world titles to deal with. On this show however there are two other matches which could easily be considered the main event. This show is considered one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time but I’ve never been the biggest fan of it due to reasons I’ll list later on. My opinion has been changed before though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what Wrestlemania means to everyone. This is the theme they went with last year and it works here like it did last year. Interestingly enough most of these highlights are from Wrestlemania X7 instead of last year’s show.

The theme song is called Crack Addict. Needless to say this was never mentioned on TV.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending and this is during his Matt Hardy Version 1 period. In other words, he was completely self obsessed and had factoids popping up on screen during his entrance (Matt is appearing in his 4^th Wrestlemania, Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him, Matt strongly dislikes mustard etc). He also has Shannon Moore as his Mattitude Follower (MF’er). Matt tries to speed things up to start but Rey backdrops him to the apron and adds a fast headscissors to take over. Oh and Rey is starting the “dress up like a superhero at Wrestlemania” thing here by wearing a Daredevil themed mask.

Rey loads up a sunset bomb to the floor but Moore makes another save. The champion takes over with a shot to the ribs for two back inside before hitting a Ricochet (kind of side slam) for two. Rey jumps into a kick to the ribs but still counters the Twist of Fate into a rollup for two. The Side Effect gets two for the champion and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold.

That doesn’t last long so Matt tries a shoulder into the corner, only to go shoulder first into the post. Rey hits a springboard seated senton and a tornado DDT for two each but Moore breaks up the 619. Twist of Fate gets two and Hardy is getting frustrated. Matt loads up a superplex but gets countered into a rana out of the corner for two. Moore tries to interfere again but Hardy is rammed into him instead, allowing Rey to hit the 619. The West Coast Pop is ducked though and Matt rolls him up with a handful of ropes to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like it ended out of nowhere which isn’t the right way to end a match like this. Mysterio was brand new and WAY over at this point, so not giving him the title here was kind of a headscratching move. Rey would win the title from Hardy, although it wouldn’t be for another three months. The match itself was still pretty solid stuff though with both guys moving all over the place and Matt using enough power moves to counter Rey while still being fast enough to be a cruiserweight if that makes sense.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. This would be your celebrity involvement for the year. They were from a series of beer commercials and would argue over various stupid things, in this case which match is bigger: Vince vs. Hogan or Rock vs. Austin III.

We recap Undertaker’s partner for later tonight, Nathan Jones, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring and no one cares. By plays to the ring I mean performs the song until Taker finally comes out.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Taker avoids a sneak attack to start and hits a quick chokeslam on A-Train for two. Big Show pulls him to the floor though and will be starting it seems. Taker has to fight out of the wrong corner and it’s quickly off to A-Train. The dead man busts out a LEAPFROG of all things before taking A-Train down with a back elbow. Old School hits but Taker has to punch Big Show instead of covering.

The Derailer (chokebomb) puts Taker down and Big Show rams him into the post for good measure. Back in and A-Train hits a slingshot into the middle rope for two. Big Show comes in again and all Taker can do is throw desperate right hands. A Big Show chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar of all things but A-Train comes in to break it up. Taker throws him in a cross armbreaker but Big Show legdrops him to take control.

Off to an abdominal stretch by Big Show to slow things down a bit. A-Train adds in some cheating before coming in for an abdominal stretch of his own. Now Taker counters into one of his own to complete the set (You can own them all!), only to have A-Train hip toss his way out of it. A-Train clotheslines him down and talks some LOUD trash before Taker comes back with right hands. A running DDT gets two for Taker but it’s back to Big Show.

Taker is like screw this defense stuff and pounds away on Big Show in the corner before running across the ring over and over for clotheslines to both guys. The jumping clothesline puts Show down but a bicycle kick from A-Train puts him down all over again. There’s a Big Show chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to knock out Big Show with a spin kick. Jones come in and kicks A-Train down, setting up the Tombstone to continue the Streak.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Taker doing what he could with two guys this size. It was kind of slow, but there’s only so much you can do with this kind of a clash of styles and no partner for the Dead Man. While definitely not memorable or anything, it did well enough at what it was supposed to do, bad musical number aside.

Undertaker waves an American flag post match to show how awesome he is.

The Catfight Girls run into Stacy Keibler and Torrie in the back with talk of a new marketing campaign. Next.

We recap the Heat match where the Dudleys cost RVD and Kane the tag titles for no apparent reason. This won’t be mentioned again tonight.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and is still psycho here. She’s also Tara for you TNA fans. Jazz hits a quick dropkick for two on Trish before Victoria can even get to the ring. Off to what we would call a Last Chancery to the Canadian after the champion is knocked to the floor. Everyone winds up outside with the champion taking over. She sends Trish back inside for a slingshot legdrop, getting two. Jazz and Victoria square off now before turning their attentions back to Stratus for some double teaming.

That goes nowhere though as it’s time for the villains to fight again with Jazz getting two off a powerslam. Trish comes back with a rollup on Victoria for two but she clotheslines Trish down for two as a result. Jerry: “Trish is like a quarter among pennies in there.” JR: “…..what?” Jazz hits a sitout powerslam for two on Stratus before arguing with Victoria even more. A spin kick by Jazz hits Victoria by mistake and allows Trish to roll her up for two. The Chick Kick puts Jazz down and the Stratusphere does the same to Victoria.

The champion is knocked to the floor as Jazz puts Trish in a half crab which is transitioned into an STF. Victoria’s boyfriend/manager Steven Richards comes in to send Jazz to the floor, allowing the other two to trade rollups for two each. Jazz comes back in and lifts Trish up for a double chickenwing before dropping her down on her uh…face. Yeah face. Victoria kicks Jazz down but misses a moonsault, knocking herself to the floor. Richards comes in and hits himself with a chair. As he goes to the floor, Trish hits the Chick Kick on Victoria for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a long time. There wasn’t much of a story being told here but at the same time, they looked like they knew what they were doing and never looked lost, which puts them miles ahead of anything in the last three years of Divas matches.

Hollywood Rock doesn’t want to hear about the People because they booed him last year. Rock is indeed a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s been at. Tonight he doesn’t care about the people because tonight is about fulfilling his destiny by beating Austin at Wrestlemania once and for all. He talks about everyone remembering Act III and they’ll remember it tonight when Rock beats Austin in their final encounter at Wrestlemania. Not his best work here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

The Catfight Girls and Stacy/Torrie now argue over who made Wrestlemania. This is so stupid. They’re going to settle the argument in bed. Oh dear. One of the girls keeps saying Hulk “Holgan”.

Right here is where things start to become problematic. There are five matches left on the card and any one of them could be a PPV main event on a major show. The problem is there’s nothing but that left and we’re only an hour into the show.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. Shawn returned last year and won the world title in a shocker. The two of them started feuding right before the Rumble where they eliminated each other. Jericho wanted to be a wrestler because he wanted to be Shawn Michaels. People started calling him the next HBK, but he wanted to be the first Chris Jericho. Jericho then went insane with the jealousy and obsession with being the best by destroying Shawn with a chair. One night when Jericho was walking through the entrance, Shawn superkicked him and said he would see Jericho at Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

As Shawn comes to the ring he fires off a bunch of confetti canons but some of them don’t work. Shawn’s “what are you gonna do” look is funny. Lockup to start with Shawn taking over via an armdrag. Jericho escapes the armbar attempt so Shawn lounges on the top rope to rub it in. Off to a hammerlock by the Texan and we get a nice technical sequence with the two mirroring each other very nicely. Shawn hooks a headlock takeover for some token two counts as things are still in first gear.

Back up and Jericho avoids a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face. Shawn slaps him right back and avoids a charge, sending Jericho out to the floor. A baseball slide keeps Jericho in trouble but back inside he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to put Shawn down again before sending him into the buckle. Shawn blocks the bulldog though and crotches Jericho in the corner. At least Fozzy will have some higher pitched songs now.

Shawn puts on a Figure Four of all things but Jericho quickly rolls it over. Another attempt at the hold is countered and Jericho sends Shawn shoulder first into the post. Jericho tries to throw him to the floor but Shawn skins the cat into a headscissors to bring Jericho outside with him, followed by a sweet plancha to take Chris down again. Shawn tries a dropkick on the floor, only to be caught in the Walls of Jericho.

The American’s back is all messed up again now and Jericho rams him back first into the post a few times for good measure. As Shawn tries to get back in Jericho hits that sweet springboard dropkick of his and nails Shawn right in the face. A pair of suplexes get two for Jericho back inside and there’s a backbreaker for good measure. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back to give them a breather.

Shawn fights up and counters a backdrop into a DDT to put both guys down. Jericho still gets up first anyway and hits Shawn’s forearm and nipup combo for good measure. Shawn nips up as well and starts slugging away before hitting a backdrop to put Jericho down. The moonsault press out of the corner gets two and they trade pinfall attempt at a very fast pace, resulting in Shawn rolling out of the Walls. Gee his back seems fine all of a sudden.

Jericho hits a northern lights suplex for two but Shawn bridges up into a backslide attempt, only to have Chris knock him down. There’s the bulldog put Shawn down but the Lionsault only gets two. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets countered into the Walls as Jericho to put Michaels in BIG trouble. Ok maybe bot so big as he makes the rope a few seconds alter. Shawn grabs a quick small package for two but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him back down.

Jericho loads up Sweet Chin Music for the final insult and it hits just about perfectly. That only gets two as does a cross body by Shawn. Shawn keeps the thunder stealing theme going by trying the Walls on Jericho but has to opt for a catapult into the corner instead. Jericho comes back with a belly to back superplex attempt but Shawn counters in mid air into a cross body for two.

Michaels goes up again but Jericho kicks the referee into the ropes to crotch Shawn down on the top. Jericho tries a superplex but gets shoved down and hit with the top rope elbow for two. Shawn loads up the Superkick but gets caught in the Walls again. Jericho drags him back to the middle of the ring but Shawn makes it on the second attempt.

A boot to the faces gets two for Shawn as the fans are WAY into this now. Back up and Jericho whips him hard into the corner for a Flair Flip to mess with the back even more. Chris tries a belly to back suplex but Shawn flips over and jumps up into a rolling cradle for the pin out of nowhere on Jericho.

Rating: A-. What did you expect off a match like this? They beat the heck out of each other here, although Shawn’s eternally on and off selling was a bit distracting. They did a great job of telling the back and forth story though, and that’s what the whole point here was. It’s also a loss that doesn’t hurt the loser which is always a good thing.

Post match Jericho kicks Shawn low like a real heel.

Sylvan Grenier, a crooked referee, goes in to see Vince.

We get the new attendance record announcement.

Limp Bizkit performs Crack Addict live. Again, not the best use of PPV time to say the least.

It’s time for the Catfight nonsense. The Girls are brought out as are Stacy and Torrie, all of whom sit on a bed for effect. This is exactly what you would expect: clothes being ripped off, spanking, Coach being stripped down. You know the drill.

We recap Booker T. vs. HHH which is borderline uncomfortable. Booker talked about being an ex-con and making his way up to where he is now. HHH started saying “someone like you shouldn’t be world champion”, which very quickly came to have extremely racial overtones. Booker won a battle royal for the shot and pinned HHH in a tag match leading up to this.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T

HHH is in his manly purple trunks here. They fight into the corner to start with Booker smacking HHH in the face a few times to take over. A backdrop puts HHH down but he comes back with a clothesline. The champion goes up top but just like his mentor, he gets armdragged down with ease. A clothesline puts HHH down for two but Booker goes up and gets knocked down to the floor for his efforts.

Booker gets sent into the announce table as the referee tells HHH to get back in, complete with some very salty language from the referee. Lawler keeps making jokes about Booker being an ex-con as HHH gets two off a neckbreaker. Booker tries to fight back with right hands but gets caught in a spinebuster for two for the champion. A suplex is escaped though and Booker DDTs him down for no cover.

Booker pounds away on HHH before taking him down with a forearm. A spinning variety of said forearm gets two but HHH comes back with his lame sleeper, which was the move he was trying to get over at this point to no avail. The facebuster staggers Booker but he comes back with a quick spinebuster for two. HHH tries going up again but jumps into a jumping superkick for two.

The Harlem Side Kick misses HHH and Booker crashes out to the floor. Flair gets in some shots before sending Booker back in for a freaking Indian Deathlock as we continue the trip back to 1974. Since the hold goes on forever and I have a chance to look at it, the question occurs to me of why does that hold hurt? Their legs are in the exact same positions, so why would it only hurt Booker?

Anyway Booker gets to the rope for the break and we get to the work over the leg to set up the Figure Four because we need to pay tribute to Flair every 18 seconds portion of the match. A rollup out of nowhere gets two for Booker and he counters the Pedigree, only to be kicked into the referee in the corner. Not that it matters as the referee counts a quick two off a rollup anyway.

A big back elbow puts HHH down and the scissors kick looks to finish but Booker can’t cover. The delayed cover gets two and Booker goes up top. He has to knock Flair down, allowing HHH to load up a superplex. That gets broken up too though and it’s the Harlem Hangover (flip legdrop) for a very close two thanks to Flair. Not that it matters though as HHH kicks him in the leg, hits the Pedigree, covers 30 seconds later and retains the title.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t horrible but TOTALLY the wrong booking here. There was zero reason to have HHH go over here other than he wanted to. Booker had been built up perfectly over the last few weeks and every sign pointed to him winning here, but instead HHH absolutely has to go over to set up that EPIC Kevin Nash feud in a few months.

Wrestlemania 20 is in Madison Square Garden.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. This feud was A MESS as all of a sudden Hogan came back and Vince decided he hated him so they should fight. The problem is Vince never quite made his reasons for suddenly hating Hogan clear other than Vince was nuts. This led to a debate about which of them made Wrestlemania and saying the match was 20 years in the making. Not exactly but when nothing else in the feud makes sense, why should this?

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on his father post match. He glares at Hogan but nothing happens. Ok then. Ever the jerk, the bloody Vince flips off Hogan to end things.

We recap Rock vs. Austin III. Austin came back from walking out on the company due to boredom and the newly heel Hollywood Rock wanted to finally beat Austin at Wrestlemania. Do you need much else of a story beyond that?

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin pounds away to start but can’t hook an early Stunner. Rock bails to the floor but gets clotheslined down in the aisle. Austin rams him into the steps and chops away before dropping him onto the barricade a few times. Rock is whipped HARD into the steps before they head back inside. A big clothesline puts Rock down but he takes out Austin’s bad knee to send Steve to the floor.

Rock stomps away on the knee as Austin stumbles around ringside. The leg is wrapped around the post but Austin pops up with more right hands. Rock kicks the leg out again and puts on the Sharpshooter, only to have Austin crawl to the rope. JR goes on a big rant against Lawler about how this is a wrestling match and not about puppies or Hollywood. Rock wraps the leg around the post a few more times before heading outside and putting on Austin’s vest.

Austin comes back with a clothesline and the Thesz Press to pound away on Rock. The middle finger elbow keeps Rock down again and it’s time to stomp a mudhole, but Rock comes back with right hands. Austin counters with a Rock Bottom of his own for a very close two. Rock fights up and hits a Stunner of his own out of nowhere for two more. Back up again and Rock pounds away, only to walk into the real Stunner for another close two.

Austin goes to pick Rock up but the guy with Austin’s vest on hits him low to break it up. The People’s Elbow misses but the Stunner is countered into a spinebuster, followed by the removal of the vest and the Elbow for two. A Rock Bottom gets two on Austin, another Rock Bottom gets two but a BIG Rock Bottom is finally enough to end Austin.

Rating: B+. It’s definitely a step or three below the one from two years ago but it’s definitely still entertaining. My problem with it as usual though is that it doesn’t have anything on it. When you have two huge matches between the two before when they were on top and now you get them both well past their primes for nothing but pride, it’s a bit harder to get into it. Still very good, but not as great as their others.

Austin salutes the crowd for the final time as he leaves. As of this 2013, this is Austin’s final match.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the main event. The idea is simple: Angle is an awesome wrestler, Lesnar thinks he’s better. Brock won the Rumble to get the shot and tonight is a mega showdown. At this point though, Angle’s neck is basically hanging on by a thread.

There was a very real chance he would have to retire before the match, but he begged and pleaded to be allowed to have this match, which most people believed would be his last. There was a match in Pittsburgh on Smackdown where Lesnar beat Angle, but it wound up being his very similar brother Eric. This match was originally going to be the title change because Kurt couldn’t go at Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

If Angle is disqualified or counted out or if anyone interferes, he loses the title. Lesnar has slightly injured ribs and Cole’s voice is almost gone. Brock sends him into the corner to start but Kurt takes him down to the mat with a front facelock. They fight over an armbar with neither guy being able to get extended control. Now it’s a fight over a headlock as the fast paced mat work continues.

Lesnar rolls Angle off and it’s a standoff. Brock takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar but Kurt grabs a rope. He pounds away at Brock’s back but Lesnar fires off some shoulders into Angle’s ribs in the corner. A powerslam puts Angle down for two but Angle comes right back with a German suplex. After Brock hits a fast gorilla press, Angle hits another German to send Brock’s ribs into the buckle.

Angle goes after the ribs like a barracuda, stomping away in the corner before hooking a chinlock with a bodyscissors. He shifts it into a kind of crossface grip before into a chinlock. A knee to Brock’s back sends him out to the floor but as they come back inside, Brock plants him down with a spinebuster. Lesnar fires off some clotheslines and shoulders in the corner, only to charge into an elbow. Brock is fine with that by snapping off an overhead belly to belly and another one for two.

Kurt comes back with Rolling Germans and Brock is spent. Angle’s neck is bothering him though and you can see his eyes not looking right. The Angle Slam is countered into an F5 attempt but Angle reverses that into the ankle lock. Brock gets the rope but Angle pulls him back without the hold being broken. For some reason that’s ok with the referee and Kurt switches it up to a half crab. Brock finally kicks Angle away and launches him out to the floor.

The champ hits a SWEET release German on Brock for two and the Angle Slam gets the same. Lesnar comes back with the Angle Slam for two of his own as the fans are getting way into this now. Back to the ankle lock by Kurt and he hooks the grapevine for good measure. Brock somehow makes it to the rope, which I believe is the only time anyone has escaped the grapevine version of the ankle lock.

F5 is countered into a small package but the Angle Slam is countered into another F5 which connects for no cover. Instead Brock goes to the top rope for the famous spot of the match, as he completely botches a Shooting Star Press, landing square on his head. With Lesnar’s brains somewhere in Bermuda, Angle covers for two. Lesnar stands up, hits another F5, and wins the title before heading off for medical attention. The gone look on Brock’s face is terrifying.

Rating: B+. It’s another very good match, but it’s still not a masterpiece. The botch is the main thing that people remember but the match is still very good for the most part. Angle competing in this condition was freaking STUPID at the end of the day and it’s no wonder that he’s basically insane now. Very good match though and a good way to start Lesnar’s second title reign.

Both guys stagger to their feet and hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s an excellent show but it’s not as great as Mania 17. The opening stuff didn’t work nearly as well as the main event stuff, but the biggest thing holding it back from greatness is the lack of THAT match. The most memorable thing about this show is the Shooting Star and that’s because it was a botch. If that thing hit though, this is much higher because that’s a huge Wrestlemania moment to put Lesnar way higher up in history. Still though, excellent show and well worth watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Ratings Comparison

Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Original: D

Redo: C

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Original: C+

Redo: C

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: A-

HHH vs. Booker T

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Original: B

Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

What the heck was I thinking on that Hogan match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/26/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-19-overrated/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 19
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Ashanti

This show gets a lot of praise around here and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve never been that enthralled by it, but maybe it needs another viewing. Your main event here is Kurt vs. Brock, which is simply due to Brock winning the Rumble and a solid build as you’re not really sure who the better man is. Brock is just past one year on television at this point and is going for his second world title.

To say he was dominant is an understatement. The real main event though is Hulk vs. Vince in a no holds barred match. It’s another instance of not putting the real main event on last, which is a shame as it got most of the buildup. Your midcard special is Jericho vs. Shawn in what was excellently built up as well.

We also get the third match in the Austin/Rock saga, which while still a big match, simply doesn’t have the big fire in it this time around. It turns out to be Austin’s last match as a regular. More or less that’s what holds this show back: the hype. The buildup was as good as any I’ve ever seen, but it wasn’t a mind blowing show. Let’s get to it.

Well done “it’s our World Series” package that never gets old, following Ashanti singing America the Beautiful which has been missed by me. The first problem with this show is simple: the theme song. Crack Addict by Limp Biskit. I never could figure out why they wouldn’t say the name of the song on television, but then it made sense. Make your own PG jokes.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is dressed as Daredevil as he beging his tradition of being a superhero at Mania. Matt is in the middle of what was always one of my favorite stupid gimmicks: Mattitude V1.0. This involves him having fun facts pop up on screen during his entrance which is made to look like he’s on a website. Today’s Mattitude Facts: Matt is appearing in his 4^th Wrestlemania and Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him.

He’s also desperately trying to stay at the Cruiserweight limit of 220lbs, often with comical results. Matt is accompanied by Mattitude Follower (MFer) Shannon Moore. Hardy used Disco Inferno method of Cruiserweight wrestling: Wrestle like a heavyweight and hope it works out for the best. Moore distracts Rey to start but Matt gets backdropped to the floor. Blast you little MFer.

Head scissors and a spinwheel kick put Matt down and set up an attempt at a sunset bomb to the floor. Shannon makes the save and allows Matt to take over. Shannon’s people are called Morons. Taz and Cole make bad jokes about how Matt got his weight down using terms like banana juice, teabag and BJ. You figure the rest out for yourself.

Matt locks in a bow and arrow to keep Rey on the mat for awhile. A corner charge misses though and Matt goes into the post. Seated Senton gets two for Rey and we speed things up a bit more. Shannon breaks up the 619 and there’s the Twist of Fate for two. The foul poles in the background take a bit of getting used to.

Matt tries Splash Mountain from the bottom rope but Rey reverses into a rana for two. 619 hits and it’s West Coast Pop time. Matt ducks so Rey settles for a victory roll. Hardy ducks into it ala Owen at Mania X and grabs the rope to get the win. That was abrupt to say the least.

Rating: C-. Not a fan of the ending at all. This was getting good and they cut the legs out from under it after less than six minutes. I get why they had to do that as a lot of the matches are long but the pacing of the match could have been a lot better to make that ending not seem so abrupt and not to make this seem like a TV match. Still decent though.

Time for our first bad celebrities as the Miller Light Cat Fight girls show up. They’re two hot chicks that fight over beer. Their limo couldn’t be tackier as it’s a long black limo with a sign on the door saying Catfight Girls. It just doesn’t look good at all. The dumb arguments start already.

We get a clip from earlier with Nathan Jones, Undertaker’s tag partner for later, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show. This would be due to the fact that the company thought he wasn’t capable of being on live PPV with his skills at the time. Shouldn’t they have noticed this before Wrestlemania Sunday?

Limp Bizkit performs Rollin live to play us to this.

Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train

This is Taker vs. Big Show for the 10^th time or so. A-Train is there for no apparent reason other than to make us think Taker might have some issues here. Fred Durst does not belong in the ring at Wrestlemania with Undertaker, period. This is officially a handicap match now. A-Train spits on Taker’s bike to distract him so Show can jump him. This of course fails and A-Train takes a chokeslam for two as Show saves.

Taker hammers away at both guys and makes sure to stay out of the corner. This was part of the A-Train’s push which I never quite understood but they were trying at least. Taker busts out a leap frog of all things and there’s Old School to A-Train. Derailer (Chokebomb) hits Taker but of course he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Taker to the floor so Show can ram him into the post.

There’s a flag on Undertaker’s bike which is due to his nephew serving in Iraq who the match has been dedicated to. Show comes in and they slug it out a bit. Taker really likes to punch doesn’t he? Show’s chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar and then into a cross armbreaker to A-Train. Show drops a leg to break that up and rams some headbutts in.

Abdominal stretch goes on after all the head and neck work. I guess Show is working on the ribs now. A-Train comes in now and stomps away before putting on an abdominal stretch of his own. Taker reverses into one of his own and that’s about the extent of his offensive run as it’s back to the beating again. Train slaps him in the face because he’s not that intelligent.

Naturally Taker makes the comeback and hits a running DDT for two as Show makes the save. Show is sent to the apron by the referee so Taker hits him anyway. Here’s the comeback and the monsters are in trouble. Big clothesline takes down Show. And never mind as a bicycle kick takes his head off. Chokeslam to Taker and here comes Nathan Jones. He kicks Show in the aisle to take him down (shouldn’t that be a DQ?) and hits the ring. Big boot to A-Train and the Tombstone ends this.

Rating: D. Can someone explain to me why this got ten minutes almost and the previous match couldn’t even get six? Not much of a match and far too long for its own good. Taker was never going to lose and everyone knew it, yet they let it go off even longer which didn’t help at all. Jones was gone soon after this I believe.

Catfight girls run into the much hotter Torrie and Stacy.

We get a recap of the pointless Raw tag title match from Heat that leads nowhere. That was on Heat and the Cat Fight girls were on here. That’s life I guess.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Jazz still isn’t cared for at all. As usual Trish looks great and gets the confetti for her entrance. Yeah, no guesses as to who is going over here. Victoria is champion coming into this and is in her total psycho phase here with the awesome T.A.T.U. theme music. I’ve always loved this character and throwing in that I always thought Victoria was mind blowingly hot isn’t hurting anything here.

Ross says that Jazz has a Mike Tyson like attitude. Lawler says it’s a Mike Tyson like look. Victoria has Steven Richards with her for no apparent reason. Jazz jumps both of them quickly and sends Victoria to the floor. She grabs a front facelock and flips forward to bend Trish in half with a facelock. Trish gets a Thesz Press and poses a lot. Victoria pulls her to the floor and we brawl out there for a bit.

Jazz vs. Trish in the ring at the moment with the less attractive one in control. Double shoulder breaker to Trish so it’s Victoria vs. Jazz now. Love that backless outfit on Victoria. Lawler says Trish is like a quarter among pennies. What the heck does that even mean? Match is kind of a mess so far but it’s not horrible. Powerslam by Jazz gets two on Trish.

The heels go at it again which Trish takes advantage of, ramming their heads together to take over. Big spin kick by Jazz misses and Trish gets a rollup for two. Chick Kick gets two. Trish kicks Victoria to the floor as Jazz shouts a lot. Half crab goes on and into an STF to Trish by Jazz. Stevie intercepts Trish’s tap out so Victoria isn’t out.

Trish gets a rollup of Victoria and we get a nice shot as Trish pulls the tights. Double chickenwing by Jazz to the blonde but Victoria takes Jazz down. Moonsault misses though, but Victoria still sends het to the floor. Stevie accidentally hits himself with a chair and takes a Stratusfaction for being an idiot. Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title.

Rating: D+. This was just your standard Women’s Title match and nothing more. They’ve been the same for years and this was no different. Trish gets the title back for a token title change and would likely hold it for a very long time. Yeah that’s all I’ve got. Oh and Victoria has a nice figure.

Rock is bitter about being booed last year against Hogan and has turned his back on the people. He’s obsessed with beating Austin in a big match, which I don’t think he ever has. This takes way longer than it should have.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

First fall wins it here as I continue to be amazed by how well Eddie suited his gimmick. While he’s not as great as he’s given credit for, he certainly was good. Team Angle is Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin by the way. Hass was supposed to be the breakout star at first but obviously after about two matches we knew that wasn’t going to happen. This is more of what we’ve seen all night long: a match that’s good enough to be a decent TV main event, but not WM worthy. No point here other than for the titles to be on the line.

Team Angle has the titles here. Benoit had a masterpiece with Angle at the Rumble but since a guy that was ridiculously popular and great in the ring clearly had no business feuding with HHH on Raw for the title (I mean we had SCOTT STEINER to do that) he was shoved into this pointless tag team and wasted most of 03 until he got so popular that he went to Raw the next year after winning the Rumble.

Big brawl to start as the referee tries to settle things down a bit. Chavo and Haas finally get us started. Haas tags out to Benoit and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie now. This works for me. To the shock of no one they hammer away on each other with neither guy being able to maintain an advantage. They ram heads which allows Rhyno to be brought in.

Powerslam to Eddie gets two. Benjamin comes in for the first time and works on the neck of Rhyno. Chavo breaks up a pin attempt as this is just ok. It’s like any match that could have been on Smackdown yet it’s here on Wrestlemania. Benoit suplexes Haas for two. We’re off to Rhyno vs. Benjamin now. They’re tagging in and out quickly but it’s kind of keeping anything from getting started. It’s been a random assortment of one on one matches so far. Nothing bad but nothing that interesting.

Eddie dropkicks Rhyno to take over and it’s off to Benoit vs. Guerrero again. Guerrero gets a belly to back and sets for the Frog Splash but gets caught in a superplex for two as Shelton saves. Benoit fires Eddie into the air for a flapjack and pulls him down into the Crossface in an awesome looking move. Haas breaks it up seconds later and then just leaves so the two masters can go at it some more.

Chavo comes in and cleans a lot of house. His name being Guerrero kind of hurts him as he’s always in Eddie’s shadow. Rolling Germans to Chavo but Chavo makes a blind tag to Shelton. Superkick to Benoit gets two. Eddie vs. Shelton at the moment so Shelton covers Benoit. Frog Splash breaks up the pin though so it’s off to Chavo vs. Haas. Haas suplexes him and gets Gored. Gore to Chavo and Benjamin steals the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. It was getting a lot better at the end when they dropped the tagging stuff but this was a match that could have been on any Smackdown for the most part. It’s good and definitely the best match of the night so far. Still though, not much here but good stuff for what it was.

Torrie and Stacy argue with the Catfight girls over who made Mania, Hulk or Vince. This isn’t sexy or interesting, it’s just annoying at this point as the Catfight girls read from a script. Apparently this argument is going to be settled “in bed”. Lord help us all. One of them keeps saying Holgan instead of Hogan.

From this thing on, everything is nearly 18 minutes long.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. Shawn came back and won the world title. Jericho ran his mouth so Jericho got kicked in the face. He eliminated Shawn from the Rumble and vice versa. Shawn was his inspiration apparently and wanted a match at Mania. Jericho was walking through the curtain one night and something kicked him in the face. Shawn came out and posed over him, saying he’d see him at Wrestlemania. Jericho was evil here, putting Stacy in the Walls of Jericho and drilling Shawn with chairs.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn brings a confetti gun with him. Oh ok he has them throughout the entrance to fire his own pyro. Cute kind of. Shawn gets pyro that goes around the back of the stadium when he does his in ring pose. That’s pretty cool. The fans are into Shawn of course as they have some mat stuff going on to start us off. Shawn lays on the top rope which is something I always found funny.

Headlock takes Jericho to the mat and out he goes to the floor. Shawn teases a plancha but Jericho sees it coming. Shawn stops and goes with a baseball slide instead. Back in a cross body gets two for Jericho as he rolls through Shawn’s move. Jericho hammers away but can’t get the bulldog. Shawn busts out a figure four and Jericho is in trouble.

After that doesn’t last long a headscissors puts Jericho on the floor, allowing Shawn to hit his plancha. Jericho counters and locks on the Walls on the floor. Shawn’s back goes into the post and HBK is in trouble. Jericho gets another dropkick to keep Shawn on the floor. Shawn’s back is the target now and it’s all Jericho. The cocky pin doesn’t work so we go to the chinlock.

Shawn reverses a suplex into a DDT but he can’t get up. Once he finally does, Jericho adds a forearm and the Nip Up. Shawn Nips Up also and then does it again. There’s the moonsault press for a long two. We get the always classic pinfall reversal sequence, resulting in a Walls attempt but Shawn kicks him off instead.

Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Jericho but Shawn bridges up for a backslide. Jericho reverses that and takes Shawn does to retain control. Lionsault gets two and Shawn starts his comeback. Rana misses though and it’s into the Walls for Shawn. Shawn makes the rope but his back is destroyed. Backbreaker sets up a top rope back elbow for no cover.

Instead Jericho Tunes up the Band. A fairly awesome Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and Jericho isn’t sure what to do next. Shawn gets a cross body out of the corner and some rights to buy himself some time. Shawn teases the Walls of Jericho but goes with a slingshot instead, sending Jericho into the post. Jericho tries a belly to back off the top but Shawn spins over into a cross body for a long two.

Shawn goes up and gets crotched via the referee being sent into the rope. Superplex is blocked though as Shawn shoves him off and there’s the elbow. Time to Tune up the Band again but the kick misses and it’s into the Walls again. A rope is grabbed and Jericho tries to beg to the referee. Chris walks into Sweet Chin Music though and down he goes but Shawn can’t cover. Both guys are back up and Jericho sends him into the corner. Shawn flips over and gets his feet under Jericho’s shoulders, rolling him backwards to end this finally.

Rating: A-. Definitely a great match, but not an all time classic. HBK shows he still can go at Mania and Jericho has one of the best matches of his life here as he’s totally into this. The only thing missing was the superkick to end it for Shawn, but this might have been better, not sure yet.

Jericho kicks Shawn in the balls post match, cranking his heel rating up by about 10.
Last month at no Way Out the show was in Montreal, there was a French ref that screwed Hogan out of the rematch with the Rock by helping Vince. He heads into Vince’s locker room.

Goldberg debuts at Backlash. That may have been the biggest flop in company history. It turns out he fought Rock in Rock’s last match before he left to make another movie, thereby more or less ending his time as an active wrestler.

New attendance record of over 54,000. Impressive again.

Limp Biskit performs AGAIN, and somehow the people couldn’t care less than they did the first time. This goes on 5 minutes.

Torrie’s Playboy came out two days later. We see clips of a news conference. We get the Catfight between the Catfight Girls and Torrie/Stacy. Coach gets stripped down to his underwear, as do the rest of the girls. Not a real match, not an interesting segment. The only thing good about this is Stacy’s Legs music which I always liked.

Time to talk about the Raw World title. This show has been on for nearly two hours and this literally hasn’t been mentioned until now. There hasn’t been a graphic, there hasn’t been hype, there hasn’t been an interview. If that’s not proof that the title matches aren’t the biggest on the card, I don’t know what is.

The idea here is that they’re playing up Booker’s hard life growing up vs. HHH’s privileged lifestyle. Booker pinned him on Raw in a tag match. Nothing about this match screams Mania at all. Unforgiven or Judgement Day maybe, but not Wrestlemania.

Raw World Title: Booker T vs. HHH

Oh and Booker pinned HHH on Raw this past week. I forgot about that but it’s not like it’s going to matter. HHH has the purple tights on here too. Poor Booker. He actually thinks he has a chance here. We hear about his hard life and how he worked his way up to become a 5 time WCW Champion. Jerry: HHH told us how much of a joke that place was. Ross: I worked in WCW. You didn’t. How would you know it was a joke? Jerry: Was it a joke? Ross: Darn right it was! Too funny.

They slug it out in the corner to start with Booker having a slight advantage. HHH actually goes up top and gets arm dragged down. Out to the floor now and the champion goes into the post. Back in and a clothesline gets two for Booker. Now we talk about the Fink for no apparent reason. HHH sends Booker to the apron and rams his head into the post to take over.

Jerry keeps making prison/court jokes about Booker. Neckbreaker by HHH gets two and he lays in the shots. The fans chant for Booker so HHH hits a spinebuster on him to quiet that down and get two in the process. Big clothesline in the corner gets the same. Suplex gets reversed and Booker hits a DDT and Lawler makes fun of Booker again. Ross has to stop himself from saying GD which gets Lawler laughing.

Side slam gets no cover for Booker but a spinning forearm gets two. Sleeper by HHH doesn’t work but a high knee does. It’s been mainly the champion in control here. Facebuster connects but HHH walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH tries to go up again and jumps into a jump kick by Booker for two. Axe kick and side kick misses, the latter of which sends Booker to the floor.

Flair drills Booker’s knee into the stairs to give HHH something to work on. HHH busts out an inverted Indian Death Lock which you won’t see for years. HHH, love him or hate him, is almost as old school as you get. Off to a regular one as Booker is in trouble. For those of you unfamiliar, the best way I can put it is a Sharpshooter with the legs instead of the arms and legs and less torque on the back. It doesn’t matter as a rope is grabbed.

HHH tries to send him into the corner and Booker collapses. Knee crusher is reversed into a sunset flip for two as the fans pop big for it. Pedigree is countered but Booker is launched into the referee who stays down for about a second. Must not have been planned. Booker gets a jumping back elbow and his leg is fine now. Scissors kick puts HHH down as now the leg hurts again. That gets two.

Booker goes up but Flair interferes to let HHH get to Mr. T. Superplex is blocked and Booker hits the Harlem (Houston here) Hangover for no count as Flair puts the foot on the ropes. Naturally, as after all HHH isn’t allowed to lose the title for a very long time right? Booker’s knee gives way and HHH hits the Pedigree. Twenty five seconds later HHH puts his hand on Booker and retains. Well of course he does.

Rating: C+. This was around the time that HHH was trying to expand his moveset to include things like the sleeper, Indian deathlock and DDT. They’re ok, but he wanted them as extra finishers and that just didn’t work. It was a very weird time in his career right now and this match it the crowning glory of that time. It’s clear here that Booker wasn’t going to win the title and was being fed to HHH. If you want to see the time where people say HHH was taking over the company, here is exhibit A.

WM 20 is going to be at Madison Square Garden. That is where it belongs.

We recap Hogan vs. Vince. If Hogan loses, he retires…again. This is billed as 20 years in the making, despite this being the 19th year of Mania. The fight is over who should get the credit for Mania, both the Hulka and Wrestle varities. That’s a thread that was great when it was done and I’d like to see a replay of it.

Anyway, this is a street fight for obvious purposes. It’s also the match that sold this show, but in WWE logic, that can’t go on last of course as they didn’t learn from last year. While obviously this isn’t the entire story, the more I see of this the more I think Hulk should get more credit. Based on the video alone, this should be the main event.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child. Are you serious? WWE owns the rights to the most legendary theme song in wrestling history and they use Voodoo Child? The pop is barely even there which surprises me. The fans are into it, but there’s not much special.

To top it all off, he comes out first. Seriously? I know Vince isn’t a fan of Hogan’s but this is absurd. Once they say his name he gets a pop, but I really think the fans didn’t know who he was at first. Hogan, nice guy that he is, rips up a Vince Still Sucks sign.To say McMahon is ripped is an understatement.

Hogan takes him down with a clothesline to start and we get some “ground and pound.” Vince fights back and hammers away, working on the arm. They’re moving incredibly slowly right now too. The arm goes around the post as we talk about the steroids trial in the early 90s, which according to Stephanie was like 9/11. Test of strength goes on and Hogan fights back up.

They ram chests like Warrior and Hogan but once again Vince kicks him in the gut to bring him back to his knees. Vince having a muscular man on his knees. Make your own jokes here. Hogan fights up for the third time and gets kicked in the ribs again and sent to the floor. Vince hammers away even more and has been in control the majority of the match here.

Chair shot to Hogan misses and Vince is rammed into the post instead. The chair drills Vince as Hulk takes over for a bit. Vince is busted open so Hogan hammers away. Crowd is into this too. Another chair to the back and down goes Vince. Hogan misses a chair shot and the Spanish Announcer takes it in the head. That’s what he gets for putting stuff on their table I guess.

Low blow by Vince shifts control again and he grabs the chair. And now Vince sets up a ladder. This cannot end well at all. He sets it between the tables and Hogan is laid out on the Spanish Announce Table with a monitor shot to the head. Vince climbs up, does the hand to the ear, and drops a leg onto Hogan, leaving both people laying.

After they lay around for about two minutes off of that, Vince rolls him back in and gets two for a big (although what should be an unsurprised) pop. Vince’s face is creepy from that. He goes under the ring and luckily finds a lead pipe. We get the famous shot of Vince’s crazy/evil eyes as he slowly rises up above the apron to get back in.

Hogan, ever the hero, gets a low blow to make Vince drop the pipe. A guy runs in through the crowd in a hood and pulls it off, revealing Rowdy Roddy Piper. Well he belongs in the discussion I guess. He picks up the pipe and drills Hogan with it, I guess being a heel. Piper is fathere too. Piper leaves and that gets two, putting us right back to where we were before Piper got here.

The referee steps on the pipe so Vince can’t use it. It’s a street fight so anything goes right? Vince drills him and waves down another referee. He gets two: an actual referee and the aforementioned French referee (future tag champion Sylvan Grenier). Another pipe shot and leg drop get two as Hulk Hulks Up. Down goes the French dude to the power of AMERICA. Hogan drops THREE leg drops and this is finally over.

Rating: B. While not the legendary classic it gets credit for, this was very fun indeed. Piper makes little to no sense to me at all here. Stupidly enough, it led to a feud between Hogan and Piper/Sean O’Haire. Really? Anyway, this was a very fun fight all day. I never really thought Vince would win, but it was fun to believe in him for awhile. Biggest flaw for me though: that freaking Voodoo Child song. HULK HOGAN’S MUSIC IS REAL AMERICAN. Anyone could tell you that. So freaking stupid.

Shane comes out to check on his dad. Yeah that’s all he’s here for. Seriously, he does nothing else.

We recap Rock vs. Austin. What recap do you need here? This match is the epitome of a grudge match. The idea here is simple: Rock has never beat Austin in a big match, namely at WM. He has done it all but defeat his arch rival and it’s killing him. This would have been so much more effective had it been 1-1 at Mania for them.

The problem for me was simple. So what if Rock wins? It’s still 2-1 Austin and Austin beat him twice for the title. That doesn’t exactly scream even to me. This is a weird thing to do here as Rock is finally (get it?) as big as Austin as far as star power despite Austin being so far past his prime he can’t even see it and Rock would be gone in a month, but he’s finally the true heel here and it’s one on one.

This whole match is built on Rock needing to win and getting more and more desperate to do it. They’re both nowhere near as good as they were 2-3 years ago, but they’re still very solid.

This gets the music video treatment but it doesn’t pack anywhere near the punch of My Way.

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is Austin’s last match as today. Austin comes off his fourth corner and turns around to see Rock waiting on him. This is the first time Austin came out second I think. There’s the bell and these two at Mania just feel right. They slug it out and Austin takes control, shocking no one. Stunner misses early and we hit the floor. We go to the Smackdown table with Austin beating Rock to death.

Rock goes into the steps and takes a belly to back suplex in the ring. We get into the wrestler vs. actor debate which is rather interesting indeed. This match has DQs mind you. Rock gets a shot to Austin’s knee which I think is his first offense of the match so far. Out to the floor again and Rock gets a second chop block to take Austin down.

After some more knee work on the floor Rock sends him into the ring again and stomps away. Austin fires off some punches but lowers his head and Rock takes the knee out again to stop Austin’s momentum. Sharpshooter goes on and Austin is in trouble. Hebner is the referee so I’d listen for a quick bell. Rock might take that….something or other to Hollywood and Vince might not get to make a bombing movie out of it.

Ross goes OFF on Jerry about talking about Hollywood so much. Rock wraps Austin’s leg around the post again and throws on Austin’s vest. Oh my stars and garter belts. Austin fights back and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and they slug it out with the knee seemingly fine again. I guess that’s a Texan thing. Thesz Press and Austin hammers away.

FU Elbow gets two, probably because it’s just an elbow drop. Austin stomps a mudhole but Rock hits a clothesline and nips up. Austin gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to the Rock as he’s still in the vest. That gets two. Stunner is blocked but Rock gets the Stunner for two of his own. That should be a scoring system in the event of a tie.

Rock hammers away but the final punch misses and it’s a Stunner by Austin for a long two. Austin tosses the referee away to get to Rock but Rock gets a low blow and it’s time for the People’s Elbow. Austin moves out of the way but can’t get another Stunner. The second People’s Elbow (minus the jacket) gets two, likely because it’s just an elbow drop.

Both guys are spent and Rock is getting up first. The fans are all over the Rock here. Rock Bottom hits but only gets two and a big pop. Rock is stunned. See what I did there? Another Rock Bottom somehow gets two and Rock doesn’t know what to do. A third Rock Bottom FINALLY ends Austin and the Rock has finally gotten the win at Wrestlemania over Austin.

Rating: B+. This is a tricky one. It’s a far cry from their epic wars before and is a joke compared to their match two years ago, but this was a different kind of match. I shortchanged this before but this is a good match. Rock was the star here, which granted has to do with him being 30 and Austin being 39 here. They beat the heck out of each other and while Austin was a shell of his former self he was still good here. Good match and a good way to close out Austin’s career.

Austin gets the big sendoff as I think it was kind of understood that he was done at this point.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Lesnar won the Rumble to get here and Kurt is champion. Kurt had thrown Team Angle at Lesnar a bunch and kept ticking Lesnar off, including switching places with his brother to get a pin on Brock in a title match. This is more or less a dream match and if anyone interferes, if Kurt gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

And here we are. FINALLY it’s the last match of the show but the fans are so drained they don’t even know what’s going on anymore. Kurt had reinjured his neck but instead of being out for a year and you know, really getting it fixed, he got a quick fix, resulting in him likely being on the verge of death every time he gets in the ring. There was a real chance this was his last match. Cole’s voice is almost completely gone here. Lesnar of course has a rib injury. My goodness when did he not have a rib injury?

Brock debuted the night after Mania the year before (which was in mid March but we’ll call it a year still) so this is an incredible rookie year for him. We get both of their resumes and they’re incredibly impressive to say the least. Tito Ortiz is in the front row. All of a sudden a lot of the ground and pound and submission stuff just got a lot funnier.

Shocking no one they go to the mat and technical stuff early. It’s so weird to see guys that are awesome at what they do with that stuff and have it look this good. Angle tries the headlock but Lesnar easily overpowers him. Kurt is moving very gingerly here. Brock fires off those shoulders in the corner and gets a powerslam for two.

Angle snaps off a suplex but Brock is right back up almost immediately. Out to the floor with Kurt trying to run. By the power of Akbar though, IT’S A TRAP and Kurt drills Brock as he comes in to take over. Brock is like screw that and gets a gorilla press to take over again. Angle Germans Brock into the buckle in an awesome spot. Brock gets pounded down on the floor for a bit.

Belly to back gets two in the ring. A vertical version of it gets two as well. Kurt grabs a modified STF that has Brock in agony. It shifts off into a chinlock as Angle loses the leg hold. Modified camel clutch now which furthers the pain in the ribs. Can’t say Kurt doesn’t have psychology going for him. Brock stands up and rams Kurt’s back into the corner to break the hold.

Belly to belly by Kurt reinjures Lesnar’s ribs as does a knee to the back. A second sends Brock to the floor. Back in Angle runs into a spinebuster Brock comes back and hammers away with the power but runs into an elbow. BIG belly to belly sends Angle flying as does a second one. Those get two and probably another neck surgery for Kurt.

Angle grabs Rolling Germans out of nowhere, each time landing on the back of his head and neck. This time it’s 4 suplexes though and both guys are spent. Neither finisher can hit with the F5 being countered into the ankle lock. That gets shifted to the half crab which is probably a stupid move by Kurt given the position he had Brock in. Cole’s voice is gone. Get that man some tea.

Kurt charges but gets backdropped to the floor to give Brock a chance to breathe. Brock takes over but Angle gets one HECK of a German suplex, flipping Lesnar onto his stomach in the air for two. There go the straps and the Angle Slam hits, naturally, for two. Cole says that’s the first time anyone has kicked out of it. Something tells me that’s nonsense.

Brock counters another Slam attempt into a small package that Taz calls a Spladle or something like that. Yeah it was a small package. F5 out of nowhere gets two as the crowd is finally into this. Ankle Lock goes on and gets the grapevine. Wow so someone actually did escape this. Ankle lock is avoided, as is the Slam. HUGE F5 puts Angle down, but Brock goes up instead.

We now get the sickest looking spot in a good many years at any show as Lesnar, weighing nearly 300lbs and being dead tired goes to the top rope. Now when I originally watched this, I had seen Lesnar down in OVW use a shooting star press and it was the best thing I’d ever seen in a wrestling ring, but there was no way I could ever believe he would throw one out at Wrestle-freaking-mania.

Of course he did though, but he shows why he shouldn’t, as he under-rotates and lands on his head. I don’t care who you are, that is sick looking. Luckily Angle is smart enough to cover him here to keep the match going. Right there, if Lesnar had gotten pinned I don’t think anyone would have been able to say a word to him.

They show the replay from another camera angle and you can hear Taz absolutely freak over it. That was indeed one of the sickest looking things I’ve ever seen. Lesnar hits another F5 and gets the win. Post match, Lesnar’s eyes show that he is absolutely gone. He has no clue where he is and it looks bad. Angle shakes his hand and fireworks play us out. Clearly not the planned finish but they did what they could and it made sense given the circumstances.

Rating: A-. These guys nearly killed each other, literally. One of those suplexes goes bad and Angle dies, Lesnar nearly killed himself on the ending. This was a great match though, but the ending just stops it in its tracks and it really hurts things. Had that landed, this is a definite A. It’s certainly worth watching though.

Brock is handed the title and is absolutely gone. I doubt he knew his name at this point.

Overall Rating: B. This went back and forth for me. It’s definitely good, but it’s far from great. It ended well with the face taking the gold like he should have, but the booking for this show was absolutely terrible. What this show desperately needed was a first half main event. Look at your final five matches: HBK/Jericho (best wrestling on the card by far), HHH vs. Booker T (Raw Title), Street Fight (the real main event), Austin/Rock (no explanation needed) and Lesnar/Angle (SD Title).

You can clearly see the problem. There’s no chance at all to catch your breath here and it’s very draining. A filler, like say Taker’s match in between there somewhere and another like the triple threat tag match, or even the Raw Tag Titles from Heat would have nearly saved this show. Maybe a segment or something like that also. Either way, the second half of this show is WAY too packed and it hurts things badly. The show is good, but I’d watch it out of order. Recommended, but not as great as it’s made out to be.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor
Date: March 20, 2019
Location: RP Funding Center, Lakeland, Florida
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana

It’s time for things to get a little weird as we have the post-pay per view show taped before the pay per view, meaning we won’t be getting any kind of fallout. In other words, it’s going to be all about the wrestling and I’m not sure what that’s going to include. Hopefully they have something good here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you needed a recap.

Opening sequence.

Shinobi Shadow Squad vs. Silas Young/Briscoes

Oh this is going to hurt. Eli Isom and Jay start things off with Eli actually taking over for all of two seconds off a front facelock. A kick to the ribs cuts him down though and it’s off to Mark as the announcers tease spoiling a pay per view that hasn’t happened yet in a clever enough chat. Cheeseburger comes in and gets clotheslined as we take a break.

Back with Young clotheslining Burger as well before handing it off to Mark for a camel clutch. A missed charge lets Burger roll away a few times and the hot tag brings in Isom to pick up the pace. White Noise gets two on Jay but it’s the Death Valley Driver into the Froggy Bow….for two? The strong pushing of Isom continues and gets even stronger as his brainbuster hits Jay for another near fall. The Briscoes are done with him and come back in for a High/Low into the Jay Driller for the pin at 9:14.

Rating: C-. The more I see of Isom, the more I like him. There’s no reason for him to be anything more than a jobber but he’s trying hard and getting a bit of a push as a bonus. That’s nice to see and the fact that he’s an average sized person and not Cheeseburger sized makes it better. There was no way the villains were losing here, but at least there was a nice moment or two.

Rhett Titus is ready to win the NWA National Championship from Willie Mack next week.

Joe Keys and Brian Johnson are in the ring and don’t like the ugly women here in Florida.

Joe Keys/Brian Johnson vs. The Bouncers

Keys wants a posedown with Bruiser, who starts a BEER chant instead. A test of strength lets Bruiser hit him in the face and an atomic drop has Keys in the corner. Another chop sends him crawling over to Johnson and the jobbers get Bruiser into the corner for a double stomping. A double slam gets one on Bruiser, who gets over to the corner for the tag to Milonas without any trouble. Everything breaks down and Closing Time finishes Joe at 5:19.

Rating: D. This was a mostly squashy squash and that’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. I’m still not wild on the Bouncers but at least they’re now just there for the fun matches instead of anything important. This was a fun match for the crowd and while the jobbers got in a little too much offense, this could have been worse.

Madison Rayne doesn’t like Thunder Rosa disrespecting the Women of Honor.

Willie Mack is defending his National Title in all fifty states and next week Florida will be state #5.

Madison Rayne vs. Thunder Rosa

Sumie Sakai and Holidead are the seconds and Rayne charges to the ring and starts hammering away. A running forearm has Rosa in more trouble but Rayne and Sakai have to drop Holidead, allowing Rosa to take over. Back in and a kick to the back has Rayne in trouble and we take a break. We come back with Rayne hitting an enziguri but getting pulled down into a chinlock instead. That goes nowhere so Rayne is up with a spear, followed by another enziguri for two. Rosa hits a Gory Bomb for her own near fall but the reverse DDT gives Rayne the pin at 9:15.

Rating: D+. I still don’t care much for the women’s division, but at least they’re putting out some fresh talent. It’s still not the most thrilling in the world and Rayne is leaving, though at least there’s someone new out there. Rosa and Holidead should be pushed stronger, even if there’s nothing they can do because the Women’s Title scene is kind of a mess.

Coast to Coast is back next week.

Rocky Romero vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Feeling out process to start with Sabre taking over on the arm as only he (and I mean that literally) can. Romero gets out with a dropkick to the floor but Sabre is back in to work on the leg. Make that the arm again as Sabre switches up in a hurry. Another dropkick gets Romero out of trouble again so this time Sabre goes after the neck as we take a break. Back with Sabre still toying with Romero and grabbing a crossarm choke.

Romero reverses into one of his own, followed by a tornado DDT for his first real offense. A springboard crossbody gives Romero two and there’s a kick to the face for a bonus. The forever lariats in the corner are countered into an STF but Sabre tries to make it a little too flashy and Romero makes it to the rope.

Sabre does his cocky kicks to the face so Romero takes him into the corner for a running knee to the ribs. A DDT gets two and Romero wins a slugout, followed by a running Sliced Bread for two more. The Sliced Bread in the corner is countered though and Sabre pulls him down into Hurrah! Another Year, Surely This One Will Be Better Than the Last; The Inexorable March of Progress Will Lead Us All To Happiness for the win at 13:44.

Rating: B-. Sabre is one of those once in a generation talents with some of the most incredible holds you’ll ever see. Romero….I don’t get it. I know he’s a much bigger deal in Japan but I don’t ever remember seeing him do anything better than average in the ring. Sabre’s insane stuff worked well here, but it was just a one off match for a special main event due to Sabre’s appearance.

Overall Rating: C-. These shows are the definition of hit or miss as you never know what you’re going to get. This was all about wrestling and it wasn’t very good for the most part, including some lame long form squashes and nothing that meant anything long term. It wasn’t terrible, but nothing that you needed to see whatsoever.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

by AB Morales

Growing up I was a big fan of anime and western animation. Batman and the rest of the DCAU, X-Men, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon and so on. There’s a lot of guys like me running around these days I dare to believe. Those were all big shows in the late 90’s. They reflected the edgy culture of the time just like Jerry Springer, Cops and others did on TV and movies were these big edgy action flicks for the most part. Except for Titanic. And Space Jam. I always knew all that was fake (yes, even Jerry Springer, I was constantly reminded) but I always had a sense of wonder. Most of these shows managed to really tug at my imagination. It’s why in my 20’s I’d rather sit and watch anime than something involving real life actors. My imagination just gets explored more like that. When it comes to pro wrestling, it’s kind of the opposite for me. It presents very fictional stories as real life. In a previous article here I compared the Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa feud to the plot of Naruto.

In wrestling, after an age of caricatures in the 80’s that eventually collapsed as realism bled more and more into WWF (not necessarily wrestling in general) we saw a mainstream renaissance via ECW’s influence which domino’ed into WCW’s grungier approach via the NWO and finally WWF’s Attitude Era. In that entire time we witnessed some of the most insane things ever in wrestling. But we realized it was “fake” by then. By this point, wrestling tried to present their stars as real as possible to keep things as grounded as possible because the kayfabe wall had collapsed. It was no longer about larger than life personalities, it was about blending realism with fiction. From there, the stars became larger than life. After we developed a real-life connection. The Rock didn’t start out as a move-star/jock. He developed into one. Stone Cold didn’t just show up one day taking over. He was given a reason to. No, Vince didn’t really create a very elaborate deception with a satanic cult to take Stone Cold Steve Austin’s title. But we invested into the happenings between Stone Cold and Mr. McMahon because of how relatable the story of the blue collar worker vs the power-hungry boss was. The key to wrestling and any work that involves any sense of fiction is the suspense of disbelief. When we detach ourselves from reality and accept these happenings of fiction as real and are impacted by them. It moves all forms of art. TV, movies, books, comics even music or a painting. They all require you to detach yourself and see things from a fictional point of view.

Which is why I find it so preposterous that Ronda Rousey’s heel character is “this is all fake”. Starting with a vlog several weeks ago, Ronda went on a tirade about how fake wrestling is. It has spurred a hilarious meme. But then that character permeated into Raw and it’s just become cringe-worthy. At least in my opinion. It’s made even more silly given how clearly scripted her promos are. No, shockingly enough “Screw the Woo and Down with The Man” was not this clever play on her opponent’s she just made up.

You hear her make these claims and right off the bat you have to wonder, if this wrestling stuff is all “fake” what the heck was everyone doing before hand? She was fined this past week on Raw for attacking Dana Brooke. But then where was Drew McIntyre’s fine for attacking Roman Reigns later that night? Where was Braun Strowman’s fine for choking a non-wrestler over the course of a commercial break? Ronda Rousey’s character does something that goes against the very core of pro wrestling, entertainment under any form and art as a whole. It kills the suspension of disbelief.

How can you tell a compelling story if your suspension of disbelief is constantly being stomped on? If your constantly told your investment in this constructed narrative is pointless? This isn’t Deadpool breaking the 4^th wall. No, that’s a creative form of comedy. It’s suspension of disbelief comes from the jokes told and how Deadpool plays with the superhero medium. That’s the engagement. But where is the engagement of seeing Becky Lynch struggle and claw her way to the top by any means necessary or Charlotte being gifted her opportunities due to preference if Ronda Rousey comes in to remind us it was all just a part of the script? Her MMA is real. But Dana Brooke’s promo on Raw wasn’t? Or was it? Why is that something I have to think about?

Did they ever need to sell Brock Lesnar as “real”? No. it was always subtext. This man had a very real background and was fitted in this fantastical world perfectly. He just conquered pro wrestling (or sports entertainment, whatever) the same way he conquered amateur wrestling, MMA, the cattle in his farm and the shark from that Summerslam 2003 commercial. Ronda just kills the fiction we’re invested in. But this fiction breaking isn’t even limited to Ronda Rousey. WWE has seemingly had a kick for insisting that “no, this is actually real you guys, like totally” lately. Maybe as a result of Roman Reigns’ very real Leukemia scare. Heck, this week on Raw saw Drew McIntyre address “Joe” based on that. Or maybe its ideas brought in by the refreshed creative team. Or Vince. I mean, his TV character has literally become his real life persona of just changing everything on the fly on a total whim.

Batista’s memetastic “Give Me What I Want” promo was pretty silly. But still believable because he sold you on the fact those are the terms of his retirement. He was willing to do anything for it. One last match against Triple H. But the week before, that same Triple H comes to the ring saying “This isn’t about Triple H and Batista, this is about Paul and Dave”. I may be paraphrasing but yet again, suspension is challenged again as WWE wants to sell you this match as “it’s totally real you guys”. But if that is meant to be real, what’s everything else? You have character’s saying they’re “real”, then you give them fake fines. That’s the point where I start to question if this is worth watching. It doesn’t know what it wants to be. Becky Lynch struggled to reach the top after defying expectations and her former best friend taking advantage of her. Said best friend Charlotte was constantly favored by the company to the point that she was given Becky’s rightfully won opportunity for a second time. Ronda WAS the major obstacle to topple. This amazing cross-over star that drove the level of competition to the peak as well as it’s star-power. “Oh, but it’s all fake. Never mind it all.” At that point the investment feels pointless. Watching these characters becomes pointless. Watching WWE becomes pointless. And that’s the last thing you want to do. Suspension of Disbelief should always remain. Ronda is without a doubt doing a fantastic job as a heel. For the most part. But the immersion has struggled a bit because of that detail. What could be a rebellious, unstoppable force, ends up boiled down to “oh no, she went off script” as a consequence and it’s a line Ronda treads because of that small trait stamped onto her. It was a detail we certainly could’ve done without and Ronda would still be quite impactful as she is today.

CheIf you wanna follow me on social media, Like my Facebook Page Here. See you next article.

205 Live
Date: March 19, 2019
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness, Aiden English

The tournament concludes tonight and we’re going to have a new Wrestlemania match set. This wee will see Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese for the right to challenge Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Title in a match that totally won’t be on the Kickoff Show. Other than that, Mike Kanellis is running out of chances to prove himself worthy of being on the 205 Live roster. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Drake Maverick recaps the tournament before tonight’s final.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Kanellises for a chat before Mike’s (now with no hair) match. Maria says he’s the greatest wrestler in the world and better than the best. Mike is about to prove everyone wrong, including whoever his opponent is.

Mike Kanellis vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is a mystery opponent. Mike grabs the arm and is immediately driven into a rope for the break. An aggressive fight over a lockup gives us a standoff as the announcers talk about whether Maria is a benefit or a problem. Tozawa misses a kick to the head so he settles for one to the chest into a backsplash for two. Back up and Kanellis nails a superkick for a delayed one, followed by a suplex into a chinlock. Tozawa slips out and hits a Shining Wizard into a missile dropkick for two. The Octopus stretch has Maria pacing and screaming but a side slam gets Mike out of trouble.

A spinebuster gives Mike two of his own and a super Samoan driver is good for the same (that’s a big move for only a near fall). Mike grabs his head and screams a lot but Maria tells him to calm down and put Tozawa in his place. Tozawa nails a spinning kick to the face and goes up but Maria offers a distraction. That’s enough for Mike to roll over and the raised knees block the top rope backsplash. Mike Rolls the Dice for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of Mike Kanellis that could have gone somewhere years ago (though he needs a much better finisher) but it’s a little late. Maybe this is the story that could get him somewhere for the first time, though I don’t exactly have high expectations. The haircut helps a bit, but I’m really not seeing it in him more often than not.

Mike and Maria celebrate quite a bit.

Cedric Alexander says he’s confident because he punched his ticket to winning a tournament like this last year. Tony Nese and Buddy Murphy come in with Tony saying he and Cedric have won and lost against each other before. Cedric says that’s true but he’s won the title before and never had to be a sidekick to be close to the title.

Murphy doesn’t mind and talks about all the times he’s beaten Cedric, which he’ll do again at Wrestlemania. That gets a laugh from Cedric, who says there’s a chance Tony will win. What a great statement from a good guy. “Yeah well I might not win!” That’ll teach him. Nese says he knows he’ll be champion one day, with Murphy looking a little nervous.

#1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese

The winner faces Murphy at Wrestlemania. Nese takes him down by the arm to start and armdrags him into an armbar to keep control. Alexander can’t quite headscissor his way out as they have a lot of time here. A sunset flip gives Nese two and Alexander bails to the ropes, which you don’t see from him very often. We get a quick standoff with Nese going right back to the arm.

Back up and Alexander goes with the speed, including a flip over Nese, but a leg lariat gives Nese two more. We’re in the armbar again though this one doesn’t last as long as Alexander snaps off a dropkick. A chinlock slows Nese down a bit (you don’t hear that one too often) but he’s right back up with a trip, only to miss a Lionsault. The fans are loudly behind Cedric here (mainly because Nese is a tweener at best, and that’s a major stretch) so Nese kicks him in the head twice to calm them down.

With Cedric trying to go a bit too fast, Nese takes the knee out and Alexander is down on the floor. Back in and Nese gets two off a jumping legdrop before going to another chinlock. Cedric throws that off as well and nails a pair of dropkicks for a breather. The Neuralizer knocks Nese silly and the springboard Downward Spiral gets two. Nese blocks the Lumbar Check and a sitout pumphandle powerslam gives him two of his own.

Cedric gets caught in the ropes and a double springboard moonsault knocks him out of them for another near fall. The running knee misses in the corner and Cedric goes up, only to take a running shot to the face. Tony loads up a superplex to the floor but Alexander hits him back for a double knockdown to avoid a bad case of crashing. They both dive back in at nine and it’s a slugout with neither being able to get the better of it. Both try superkicks but get their legs intertwined for a different kind of visual.

Alexander’s second superkick connects for two and he loads up a superplex, which is broken up in a hurry. Nese sends him outside for the Fosbury Flop and it’s the 450 for….two. That one surprised me a bit. Alexander’s Spanish Fly gets two more and so does the Lumbar Check. That’s a very rare kickout as I only remember one or two people kicking out of that. A second attempt is countered and Nese knees him in the head. The running knee in the corner sends Nese to Wrestlemania at 22:21.

Rating: B+. The time helped this a lot and it was the kind of match that should have closed a tournament like this. Nese winning isn’t the most thrilling result in the world and having him as the hometown boy at Wrestlemania is only going to get him so far. It’s a very good match and Nese looked good, but there’s a reason that Nese has been in the spot he’s been in for so long. It might make sense on paper, but I’m not sure how well this is going to work in reality.

Post match Alexander is stunned but shakes Nese’s hand. Cedric leaves and Buddy Murphy comes out and hugs Nese before kneeing him in the face. Murphy poses over him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. They managed to nail two stories in this one show and that’s better than you usually get around here. The problem here is obvious though: Kanellis, Nese and Alexander, the three people this show focused on, aren’t very interesting. We’ve seen Nese and Alexander for a long time now and there isn’t anything about them to draw interest. Kanellis is slightly better because he has Maria and is a bit fresher, but none of them are anyone I would go out of my way to see. Murphy on the other hand comes off as a star and I really, really hope he gets to the main roster soon, as he’s more than outgrown this place.

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