Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You might notice that things have picked up a lot since last year. This can mainly be attributed to the influence of Vince Russo, who isn’t remembered all that fondly. While his later efforts didn’t exactly work out very well (that’s putting it mildly), his early work with this kind of talent around him was a major part of the turnaround in the Monday Night Wars, which will finally see Raw win a battle just two weeks after this show. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren and the DX Band perform a hard rock version of America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner. This is booed out of the building and was very poorly received both live and later, as it has been edited out of most versions of the show. That’s probably best all around.

The opening video focuses on the lack of tradition in Wrestlemania these days, but the tradition is all about the gold and that’s why everyone is here tonight.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

Los Boricuas are Savio Vega’s Puerto Rican street gang split into two teams here, the Truth Commission is a military group from South Africa, Chainz is a biker, the Nation now has Faarooq/Kama Mustafa/Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, the LOD 2000 are the same guys and a surprise team, the Rock N Roll Express are a famous team from the south, Too Much is better known as Too Cool, the Disciples of Apocalypse are the Harris Twins (formerly known as the Blu Brothers) as bikers, Blackman is a karate expert and the New Midnight Express are Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn in one of the worst ideas of this era.

Only a few teams get an entrance with the LOD coming out last (with Animal in shorts for the first time ever) as a surprise team with Sunny as their new manager. The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at next month’s In Your House XXI and if one member is eliminated his partner is eliminated as well. It’s a huge brawl to start and the fans are entirely behind the LOD. Vega and Perez are eliminated early with Perez having to be helped to the back.

Former Truth Commission member Kurrgan comes out to eliminate the Truth Commission and here’s Bradshaw’s former partner Barry Windham to eliminate Chainz and therefore Bradshaw. Brown/Henry and the Quebecers are eliminated. The other Nation team and the Rock N Roll Express are gone as well with the other Boricuas quickly following. Henry is still in there despite Brown being eliminated but who’s going to stop him?

The Headbangers are eliminated and Henry Godwinn dumps Henry. We’re down to the LOD, the Midnight Express, the Godwinns, Too Much and the DOA as they’re flying through the eliminations so far. There goes Too Much and things finally slow down a bit with eight total men to go. Hawk runs Henry over but Phineas eliminates Skull (partner of 8-Ball) to get rid of DOA. The bikers come back in anyway and throw out the Godwinns to get us down to the LOD and the Midnight Express.

Ever the poor sports, the Godwinns come back in with their metal buckets to knock the LOD silly and give the Express a chance. Animal rolls under the ropes to the floor, leaving Hawk to beat up both goons on his own. Animal comes back in to clean house and the Express is clotheslined out to give LOD the win at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Above all else, they kept this short. There was no standing around waiting to get rid of most of the teams and it makes for a much faster battle royal. Having the LOD return was a great way to wake up the crowd to start and has set a much better pace than the preview few years worth of opening matches. That’s already a good sign so maybe this one will work better. The new LOD wouldn’t work all that well but at least this was fun and quick.

Kevin Kelly and Honky Tonk Man tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Clips of various media appearances that took place in Boston over the recent days. This would become a Wrestlemania tradition and always made the show feel more important.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and won the inaugural title late last year. Aguila is better known as Essa Rios and slaps hands with the champion to start. A quick spinwheel kick sends Taka out to the floor and Aguila follows him out with a moonsault to the outside. Taka kicks him outside as well and nails his signature running springboard dive to take over again.

A forearm to the mask (JR’s term, which is one of the only times I’ve heard that called accurately) staggers Aguila but he armdrags Taka off the top. The champ heads outside again and Aguila is right there with a corkscrew plancha for a big gasp from the crowd. Back in and Taka’s middle rope splash (quite the step down after the start to this match) hits knees but he comes back with a running kick in the corner. The Michinoku Driver is escapes but Aguila’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. Taka dropkicks him out of the air and now the Driver connects to retain Taka’s title at 5:55.

Rating: B-. This was another good choice to keep the show going as they didn’t even try to do anything aside from fly around the ring and pop the crowd. The light heavyweight division didn’t work very well but this was one of the best pairings they had. Simple idea here and they played it well without staying too long. Good stuff.

Gennifer Flowers (a player in a Bill Clinton scandal) interviewed the Rock earlier today. Yes it’s the Rock now, following one of the best character turnarounds in history. It was clear that Rocky wasn’t going anywhere so he was turned into the ultimate cocky jock who spewed one liners and had more charisma than he knew what to do with.

Flowers asks about Rock being the leader of the government but leader doesn’t suit him. Instead it should be ruler, and as ruler he feels that the homeless should stay away from his freshly mowed grass at his palatial estate in Miami. As for the judicial system, all Rock’s fans need to know is that Rock is judge and jury. Make that a hung jury of course, if you smell what he’s cooking. Some Monica Lewinsky jokes take us out. You might as well have just started printing the money with Rock’s face on it based on this segment.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH is defending in this battle of the huge noses and he’s another guy who has been completely changed. He still has Chyna but now has joined D-Generation X and become a far more dangerous man. HHH and Owen have been feuding for months as fallout from Survivor Series 1997 (I’m going to assume you know that one and why Bret isn’t around anymore) and Chyna is going to be handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter to make sure this is one on one. Owen has a bad leg coming in.

Hart starts fast and scores with some early clotheslines and right hands in the corner followed by a standing hurricanrana for two. So much for the leg being badly damaged but he does seem a bit ginger. HHH sends him to the floor but Slaughter stops Chyna from interfering. Back in and a poke to the eye breaks up the Sharpshooter to give HHH control.

This works a bit better than last time as HHH’s offense has gotten a lot better in the last year. The jumping knee to the face gets two (JR describes it as negotiating a two count, which opens up a host of questions. Did he negotiate it with the referee? Owen? The guy in section 14 selling popcorn? And what did he have to give up for it?) and HHH finally starts going after the leg.

We hit a leg lock and Owen’s nose is bleeding. Owen fights back and crotches the champion against the post, followed by a missile dropkick for two. There’s a spinwheel kick for the same and Lawler is panicking. Owen tries an enziguri but messes up his ankle again to put both guys down. The Sharpshooter is kicked away but Owen falls face first into a low blow.

Lawler goes nuts wanting a DQ as he can just never bring himself to like a Hart. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes. Nice job Slaughter. Chyna doesn’t think he did that well either and throws powder into his eyes. The blinded Slaughter (or the referee for that matter) doesn’t see her hit Owen low, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title at 13:27.

Rating: B. What a difference a year makes with HHH as he went from a slow, boring match with Goldust to a really good, fast paced match here with Owen. I never quite got why Hart kept losing and losing to HHH as you would think they might want to go somewhere with him as the last remaining Hart. At least he was a good opponent for HHH and we got a good match here.

Chyna beats up Slaughter to some nice applause post match. Slaughter was one of the worst authority figures in company history and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who actually enjoyed him in the role.

Buy the new Austin shirt! I think they’ve got that one covered.

We recap Goldust/Luna vs. Marc Mero/Sable. This was an interesting feud as Mero is terribly jealous of Sable’s popularity but now he’s coming to her defense because Luna and Goldust have gone too far attacking her. Goldust is in a very strange place at this point as he’s starved for attention and is wearing mostly women’s clothing or various sexual attire. The video makes no secret of the fact that this is all about Sable.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

That’s Luna Vachon of course and the genders have to match here. The guys get things started and a headscissors sends Goldust crawling over to the corner. Luna wants Mero but gets Sable instead and immediately bails to the floor for a chase. It’s back to Goldust vs. Mero but Sable comes in for a superkick, much to Mero’s annoyance. Luna insists Goldust stay in, much to his annoyance.

Both guys try cross bodies and it’s Mero falling on top for two. The announcers keep talking about how amazing and tough Sable is for taking this match and it’s already annoying. We finally get the tag to Sable for the catfight with Luna but thankfully Sable starts kicking in the corner, including a big shot to Goldust. It’s back to the men with Mero’s slingshot splash hitting knees. That’s fine with Mero who hits Goldust low but can’t get the TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter).

Mark flips out of a Curtain Call instead and hits (well mostly at least) a springboard moonsault press for two. Some heel miscommunication gives Marc another near fall and now the TKO connects but Luna breaks up the cover. Luna splashes Goldust by mistake and Sable powerbombs her for a very close two. Instead it’s the TKO for the pin on Luna at 9:11. They probably should have just ended it at the powerbomb.

Rating: C. The match was watchable enough albeit a bit messy, but they weren’t even trying to hide the fact that this was all about Sable. To be fair though, the crowd was going NUTS for her and she made the company a fortune going forward so this push was justified. Not a good match or anything but Sable was clearly a big star.

Mero celebrates like he got the pin in a perfect character move.

JR gets the schedule wrong and says we’re coming up on the Tag Team Title match but instead it’s Tennessee Lee (formerly known as Colonel Robert Parker, a pretty bad manager) in the ring. In a pretty worthless cameo, Lee introduces Jeff Jarrett who escorts Flowers to be guest ring announcer.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Rock is defending and the leader of the Nation of Domination. He actually gave Shamrock a title shot back at the Rumble where Shamrock got disqualified and the feud has continued from there. This included Rock BLASTING Shamrock in the face with a chair a few weeks back on Raw in a shot that would probably get him fired today. Rock has the Nation in his corner, minus Faarooq who Rock took the leadership from. If Rock gets disqualified here, he loses the title.

Shamrock starts fast with a pair of clotheslines to send Rock out to the floor. Back in and a kick puts Rock down, followed by a string of right hands to the face. Rock sends him into the steps to take over and the yet to be named People’s Elbow gets two. Ken comes right back and grabs a chair but shoves the referee down, allowing Rock to hit Shamrock in the face with the chair for two. That’s it for Rock’s control though as Shamrock pops up and scores with a powerslam, followed by the ankle lock for the submission at 4:48.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t work very well as it felt like an extended Raw match (yeah five minutes would be long on Raw at this point, especially for the midcard) instead of a big showdown. I know the popular idea would be to change the title here but they knew they had something special with Rock here and didn’t want to screw with it.

Then Shamrock beats up the Nation and puts the hold back on, meaning it’s a reversed decision to give the title back to the Rock. The champ, bleeding from the mouth, is stretchered out but makes sure to hold up the title because it’s still his. Shamrock is livid and beats Rock up even more on the bandstand.

We get the awesome Attitude promo that made the company feel much more real than it was before. A lot of the roster talks about their past accomplishments (Mero being a Golden Gloves champion, the Rock playing for the Miami Hurricanes, Faarooq’s success at Florida State etc.) with the final line of “This isn’t real? Try lacing my boots.”

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and this is a dumpster match (a casket match but with a dumpster) due to them putting Jack (formerly Mankind) and Charlie (Terry Funk) inside a dumpster and shoving them off the stage in February. The Outlaws (You better know them. They were Tag Team Champions in 2014) are growing in popularity every day, even though they’re pretty awful in the ring and completely anti-authority.

It’s a brawl to start and for once that’s the right move. The champs take over and send Funk (the announcers call him Funk more often than they call him Charlie so it’s good enough for me) into the dumpster but you have to get both guys inside and close the lid to win. Cactus tries his flip dive off the apron but only hits the dumpster. Terry gets out so the Outlaws take turns slamming the dumpster down on the challengers’ heads.

Cactus gets the Claw on Road Dogg (sporting a “Look Ma! No curse!” shirt, referencing the Armstrong family curse in a very nice touch) and Funk blasts Gunn in the head with a trashcan lid. Gunn gets crushed by a cookie sheet and now let’s bring in a ladder. Sure why not. Cactus and Gunn climb up and Dogg hits Funk into the ladder, knocking both of them into the dumpster in a huge crash and a big spot for this time period.

Funk gets powerbombed into the dumpster (JR freaks out over this happening to Funk at 53, but he’ll still be around EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER. That’s just not normal.) but Cactus and Gunn get out and take it to the back. They head into the kitchen with Dogg joining in on the beating. Funk gets to the back as well and steals a forklift, lifting the Outlaws into the air and dropping them into another dumpster for the win and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B. I liked this way more than I should have as it’s a wild brawl but that’s a lot smarter than having these teams try to do a regular match. Cactus and Funk winning the titles together is a cool moment due to their past together and this worked really well. The Outlaws would join DX the next night as they regained the titles, but this was a solid brawl and the title change felt like it meant something.

In Your House XXI ad.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane and this is going to get a bit complicated. Paul Bearer had promised to destroy Undertaker and revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who had been horribly burned in a fire as a child, a fire that Bearer claimed Undertaker set. During the first Hell in a Cell match, Kane actually debuted and laid out Undertaker, seemingly setting up their first match. However, Undertaker vowed to his parents that he would never fight his brother.

Kane didn’t take this well and, after seemingly forming a bond with his brother, put Undertaker in a casket which he lit on fire at the 1998 Royal Rumble. That was enough for Undertaker, who returned a few weeks later, promising to face his brother at Wrestlemania XIV. This was one heck of a build and the perfect blend of drama and over the top insanity that made the era work. Now if only the match can live up to it.

Before we get to the match though, here’s baseball legend Pete Rose as guest ring announcer for one of the most infamous moments in Wrestlemania history. Rose goes full on heel, ripping on the Boston Red Sox for not being able to win the World Series. “I left tickets for Bill Buckner but he couldn’t bend over and pick them up. HOW BOUT IT?” The fans are ready to kill him but here’s Kane to do it for them. Kane tombstones Rose and is instantly the biggest hero in the building…..for about ninety seconds. Major credit to Rose here, who clearly got the idea of being a heel instantly and had a blast with this. He’ll be back.

Undertaker vs. Kane

The first of many. Undertaker begins his tradition of incredible Wrestlemania entrances, walking through a tunnel of torches held by cloaked druids. JR knows it’s going to be big and sums it up perfectly: “This ovation will be not of this world.” That’s nowhere near strong enough as the place comes unglued and with good reason. What an entrance, easily one of the best of all time.

They stare each other down and Undertaker hammers away to almost no effect. A big toss by the throat sends Undertaker into the corner but Kane charges into a boot to the face. Undertaker charges into a Tombstone attempt but gets dropped on his head in the corner. Kane knees Undertaker down in the corner before draping him ribs first across the top rope.

Undertaker gets back up and tries a big boot but winds up on Kane’s shoulders. The electric chair drop doesn’t work very well as Undertaker lands on his arms but it was a cool spot until then. Kane takes him to the floor and drops the steps on Undertaker’s back a few times. A suplex brings Undertaker back in and the backstory starts to fall apart. Kane was supposed to be in an asylum for most of his life but he knows how to suplex people? It doesn’t add up, which says a lot given how much else I’m supposed to buy about this story. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane pulls him up at two.

We hit the chinlock on Undertaker, stop for a clothesline break, and put it back on. After the better part of three minutes in the hold, Undertaker fights up and drops Kane over the top. The Taker Dive makes its Wrestlemania debut but Kane steps to the side, sending Undertaker crashing through the Spanish announcers’ table. Back in and Kane scores with the top rope clothesline for two.

They slug it out again and Kane grabs a Tombstone for two. Undertaker comes back with a good chokeslam and a Tombstone of his own…..for two. That might be the first time ever and the shock from the crowd implies that it is. A second tombstone gets two more and there’s a top rope clothesline. Kane sits up again so Undertaker gives him a third Tombstone and a regular cover for the pin at 16:58. Kane would have been up at 16:59.

Rating: D+. This is a tricky one to grade but the atmosphere and build carries this as far as it can go. The problem here is that chinlock. It just kills everything the match had going for it and looks so completely out of place. This would have been better as an all out war which they tried at times but it wound up being more of a wrestling match, which isn’t the right idea. The ending sequence helped and the power brawling was good, but this needed to be a war with weapons and violence all over the place, which it only was at times.

Now for the big question: did the right person win? The more I think about it, the more I think Undertaker should have lost here. It’s very rare to see a real argument for the Streak ending, but at this point it still wasn’t really a thing. The story makes more sense if Kane destroys Undertaker here and wins, but you could argue that Kane already destroyed Undertaker when he lit him on fire. If you can’t stop a man by lighting him on fire, pinning him for three seconds really doesn’t prove much. Still though, they both wound up fine with Kane being WWF World Champion in June.

Bearer comes in for some cheap shots, allowing Kane to lay Undertaker out with a chair and another Tombstone. Kane and Bearer leave but Undertaker sits up again.

Another Attitude spot, but this time with some legends talking about how amazing their days were. In their time, there were no flashing lights or moonsaults, no walking the top rope or pyrotechnics. Today though, the legends are the ones cheering. Another outstanding ad here as you can see that everything is changing.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels, which translates to a video on Mike Tyson, who is the real star of this show and the reason it was such a big deal. This is one of the best celebrity investments in company history and made the match.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Tyson, a member of D-Generation X, is guest enforcer referee, meaning he’s on the floor for most of the match. Michaels is defending after Austin won the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. We get the always cool tracking shots from the back to the entrances to make this feel even more special. Austin gets an incredible reaction as there’s just no way to hide the fact that he’s winning tonight. The D-X Band plays Shawn to the ring for a cool entrance. Remember that Shawn’s back and Austin’s neck are barely held together here.

They circle each other to start and Shawn gets in a left jab. The chase is on and Shawn loses most of his tights for an unwanted view. A backdrop puts Shawn over the top and down onto HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade in retaliation. That’s enough for a double ejection and it’s one on one.

They fight to the bandstand and Shawn hits him in the face with a cymbal. The fans get behind Austin again and the guys head back inside with Austin working on the back. An atomic drop (makes sense) gets two and it’s back to the floor with Shawn being knocked off the apron and face first into the announcers’ table. Austin jacks him in the jaw again but gets backdropped over the top and into the crowd. The bell knocks Austin silly again and Tyson has no problem with it of course. You can see the agony on Shawn’s face and he can barely move.

The fans chant HOLYFIELD in an annoying moment and Shawn keeps punching away. Austin tackles him though and throws Michaels over the top as I can’t believe Shawn can still get up. The champ sweeps the leg and wraps it around the post to give him a target. Back in and Shawn stays on the knee before sending him to the floor for a baseball slide. There’s a Figure Four on Austin but he turns it over pretty quickly. It’s comeback time until Shawn grabs a sleeper.

Austin drives Shawn back into the referee though and Michaels is whipped into various corners. You can see that he can barely take the bumps and it’s tough to sit through. Shawn comes back with the forearm and somehow nips up (the camera misses it AGAIN). The top rope elbow looks to set up the Sweet Chin Music but Austin is ready for it. The Stunner is countered as well and I’ll let JR take it from here until the pin at 20:01. “Michaels going for another kick. Austin…..HE GOT IT! THE STUNNER! MIKE TYSON IN! AUSTIN IS THE CHAMPION! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!”

Rating: A-. And that’s how the WWF won the war. When you factor in the injuries, this is one of the most impressive and gutsy performances you’ll ever see. Austin was in terrible shape and he’s still miles ahead of Shawn. It’s hard to watch Shawn going through a match like this and the things he was doing out there are absolutely amazing when you consider he had a broken back. Let me repeat that: he had a BROKEN BACK and wrestled a great twenty minute match where he was being thrown all over the place. Great match and exactly the way Austin needed to ascend to the top of the wrestling world.

One last thing: Austin hit one Stunner and only one Stunner. They didn’t trade finishers all over the place and kick out at 2 and 7/8. The finishing move finished the match and won the title, just like it’s supposed to do. It really makes the moment feel more important and definitive as Austin won a close match but he won it with no doubts.

JR gets the famous line with “The Austin Era has begun!” Michaels is ticked off at Tyson and takes a swing, earning him a right hand to the jaw to knock Shawn out cold. Confetti falls and the highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. It’s not a great show, but it nailed the ending and lived up to enough of the hype to do what it was supposed to do. The WWF was white hot at this point and there was nothing WCW could do to touch them now that Austin is the champion. As mentioned earlier, it would be two weeks before they won a night in the Monday Night Wars but the battle was over the second this show went off the air.

There are better Wrestlemanias out there but this one was the right show at the right time with the right ending. The memorable moments here are memorable for a reason and the show holds up today for all the right reasons. This show launched the WWF into its second great era and they never looked back. Well not for a few years at least.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: B

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

That’s a lot more all over the place than usual, even by my standards.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-the-austin-era-has-begun/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is what you call a changing of the guard show. For the last six months or so it’s been clear that Austin is ready for to be on the top of the mountain and tonight he ascends to the peak. Shawn Michaels is world champion but he has a broken back thanks to hitting his back on a casket thanks to the Undertaker. The main draw of the show though is Mike Tyson as the guest referee. I can’t emphasize enough how huge that was for WWF. Other than that we’ve got Kane vs. Undertaker in a battle of the monster brothers. This is a huge show to say the least. Let’s get to it.

Chris Warren of the DX Band sings an unnecessary rock/metal version of the Star Spangled Banner/America the Beautiful. Thankfully this is booed out of the building.

The opening video is about tradition and the new generation that has arrived here tonight. Tyson and DX are featured along with Austin, even though they’re fighting tonight. Even though they’re fighting tonight, they’re fighting over the same belt that Hogan and Andre fought over. That’s a great point actually.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission (Recon/Sniper), Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Brown/Henry), Nation of Domination (Faarooq/Mustafa), Legion of Doom 2000, Quebecers, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns, New Midnight Express

This is the format of if one member is eliminated then both are out and the winners get a title shot at sometime in the future. LOD returns as the fifteenth team with Sunny as their new (mouth watering) manager. It’s a big brawl to start because there are thirty people in the ring at once. One of the Boricuas is on the floor and is either hurt or is tying his shoe. It’s Savio and he’s helping his partner to the back.

The Truth Commission is out as Cornette and Sunny get in an argument. Barry Windham comes out and eliminates Chainz to tick off Bradshaw. Brown and the Quebecers are out as this is clearing out fast. The other Nation team is done too and there goes the Rock N Roll Express. The Headbangers are out and Mark Henry is still in despite his partner being gone. Ok now Henry is out and there goes Taylor to eliminate Too Much. We’ve still got the LOD, the Godwinns, the Midnights and the DOA. You can actually see the mat now.

The fans are completely behind the LOD as you would expect. Apparently the title match will be next month at Unforgiven. Things slow WAY down as Hawk runs over Henry Godwinn. The bikers (D.O.A.) are gone but they come back in to eliminate the Godwinns for fun. That leaves the returning L.O.D. against Bombastic Bob Holly and Bodacious Bart Gunn. Do I need to draw you a picture here?

Actually I do as the Godwinns come back in and blast Hawk and Animal with metal buckets. Animal is knocked to the floor so Hawk has to fight them both off on his own. Since this is the NEW Midnight Express, that’s about as hard as fighting off a paper bag. Animal comes back in and the Legion easily eliminates the Midnights to win.

Rating: D. As is the case with most battle royals with this many people in the ring, the majority of the match is spent clearing out the ring. Once we got down to a handful of teams left, it was clear who was going to win. That’s fine though, especially when the team is this popular. The tag division SUCKED at this point so bringing the L.O.D. in wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

We get some clips of the events of Wrestlemania week in Boston, including the DX Public Workout where Austin got tied up in the ropes and Shawn kissed his head. Regis Philbin rubbed Austin’s head for some reason too.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Taka is defending and is pretty much the only wrestler in the division worth anything due to WCW having every luchador and smaller Japanese guy of note under contract. Aguila is Spanish for eagle in case you’re not familiar with El Espanol. He would later take his mask off and be called Essa Rios. No one would care about him though until he got a hot redheaded manager named Lita and then people only cared about her. They shake hands to start and we’re ready to go.

Aguila hits a headscissors to start and a spin kick to send Taka to the floor. A HUGE moonsault press to the floor takes out Taka. Rios never was great but he had one of the most beautiful moonsaults you would ever see. They fight to the apron where Taka throws him back in then dropkicks him to the floor. There’s a GREAT springboard dive to take Aguila out as they’re flying very high so far.

After a quick word from the Spanish announcers, Taka hits a low dropkick for two. Aguila comes back by throwing Taka out to the floor and armdragging the champion off the top rope as he comes back in. A springboard into another armdrag puts Taka down and there’s the running up the corner wristlock that Sin Cara uses to send Taka to the floor. Aguila hits a corkscrew dive to take the champion out again and the stupid northeast crowd doesn’t care. Well screw them because this is awesome so far.

Back in and Michinoku misses a corkscrew dive but Aguila hits a moonsault for two. Taka fights up and hits a smack to the face to put Aguila on his knees. A splash hits knees though and Aguila puts Michinoku back on the top. Aguila hits a big old rana off the top for no cover, allowing Taka to come back with a knee in the chest. A missile dropkick puts Aguila down as does a powerbomb, but Taka misses a moonsault. Aguila dives into a dropkick though and the Michinoku Driver retains the title.

Rating: B. This started VERY fast and while it was clear they got tired by the end, this was still great stuff. It’s not quite Mysterio/Guerrero/Psychosis level stuff but it beats anything else WWF was putting on with this division. Taka was the right choice for the inaugural champion, but he kept the title WAY too long and that’s why the division died. Well among the other reasons I mentioned earlier.

Gennifer Flowers, some chick from the a Bill Clinton scandal, interviews the Rock. First off, what would you do if you were leader of this country Rock? “Well Genny, the term leader is a bit beneath the Rock. Let’s go with……..ruler.” Ok, so how would the Ruler handle the country’s homeless situation? “Well it’s like this: as long as the Rock still has his palace in Miami and those homeless pieces of trash keep their cardboard boxes off the Rock’s freshly mowed grass, everything will be copacetic.”

As for the judicial system, everything will be just fine as long as the people know he’s the judge and the jury. After looking at Gennifer, he makes sure to point out it would be a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking (there’s a chance that’s the debut of that line but I don’t think it is). As for the White House, it’s a tough job to run but as long as all the interns underneath the Rock don’t do anything “orally” wrong, everything will be fine. This was HILARIOUS and one of the funniest promos Rock has ever had.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH gets played to the ring by the DX Band and is defending here. This would be about four months after Owen returned as the only remaining Hart and attacked Shawn, but we couldn’t have Owen vs. Shawn on PPV so let’s feed Owen to HHH instead. Chyna is handcuffed to the worst authority figure ever, Sgt. Slaughter, during this match. Owen has a bad ankle coming in thanks to an attack by HHH.

The brawl is on to start and HHH is backdropped down quickly. Hart fires away right hands in the corner and a standing rana gets two. Owen is sent to the floor but Chyna can’t interfere. HHH tries to dive at the Canadian but hits the barricade instead, keeping the advantage in Owen’s favor. Back in and he loads up the Sharpshooter but HHH pokes him in the eye. There’s a facebuster and a clothesline to put Owen down and HHH finally gets a breather.

The high knee gets two for the champion as does a knee drop. Are you noticing a pattern with this offense? Back up and Owen charges into a boot in the corner but HHH hits a DDT to break Owen’s momentum and get a two count at the same time. HHH finally starts going after the bad ankle as Lawler cackles. Owen is bleeding from the bridge of his nose as HHH takes him down again.

There’s another leg hold as Jerry is very happy to see a Hart in pain. HHH stomps on the bad ankle as the nose is busted even worse now. Owen comes back with some right hands before dropping down in the corner and crotching HHH ala Mr. Perfect. A missile dropkick gets two for the challenger as does a spinwheel kick. There’s the enziguri to put HHH down but Owen can’t follow up.

Hart eventually gets two as we get about our third loudly called spot of the match. HHH powerbombs Owen to counter a rana for two of his own. Owen goes up top and hits a cross body for two more. A Pedigree and Sharpshooter attempt are both blocked but Owen falls face first on HHH’s crotch for two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring.

Chyna, despite being handcuffed to the commissioner, manages to pull HHH to the ropes. See? I told you Slaughter was really bad at his job. There’s some powder in Slaughter’s face which allows Chyna to hit Owen low. The Pedigree retains the title for HHH as Slaughter continues to be incompetent.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable but not much more than that. HHH going over was questionable but he would become the new leader of DX the next night so maybe there was something to it. Also, it’s not like Owen wasn’t used to getting jobbed out anyway. Slaughter was laughably bad at his job so at least we had that to laugh at.

Chyna decks Slaughter post match.

Buy the new Austin shirt! Oh don’t worry: A LOT of people did that.

We recap Mero/Sable against Goldust/Luna. This was a weird feud as Mero had been a total jerk to Sable for months as he thought she was hogging the spotlight. Then Luna and Goldie went after her so for about a week, Mero was the gallant hero standing up for her honor.

The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable

The guys start things off with Mero hitting a fast headscissors and a clothesline. Off to the women folk but Luna wants to fight Mero. She gets Sable instead and Luna runs away instead of fighting. We get a lap around the ring and the men come back in before we get any contact. Goldie gets backdropped by Mero and kicked in the ribs by Sable for good measure. Luna won’t tag in so it’s back to Mero so that the genitals match.

Mero pounds away on Goldust in the corner but gets clotheslined down to change control. A quick cross body gets two for Marc but Goldust hits an uppercut to put him right back down. The fans chant for Sable as the men collide. A double tag brings in the girls and Sable spears Luna down. She pounds away and kicks Luna in the corner before bealing her across the ring.

Sable pounds on Goldust as well but it’s back to Mero who doesn’t fare as well. With Sable trying to get back in, Mero hits Goldust low but can’t hit the TKO. Instead Goldust counters into a DDT for two but he can’t hook the Curtain Call. Mero hits a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Goldust goes up but gets crotched, setting up a top rope rana by Mero for two.

Marc threatens to hit Luna and ducks just in time to make the heels collide. The TKO on Goldust gets two more as Luna makes the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust but has to avoid a splash from Luna. A Sable Bomb gets two on Luna and she’s back up in seconds. Not that it matters as the TKO (it’s a cutter out of a fireman’s carry) from Sable ends Luna a few seconds later.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting it to be. The saddest part of this match though was what happened after: in the back Sable had praise heaped onto her while Luna was basically ignored. Sable could barely do anything in the ring while Luna was a seasoned veteran who received no credit for her work with Sable. Only Owen Hart congratulated her on her success. That’s rather sad when you think about it.

Jeff Jarrett brings out Gennifer Flowers to be at ring announcer for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This is just after the debut of the new name for Rocky Maivia and he’s defending. He’s also in the Nation of Domination. Flowers isn’t very good at this but she’s trying at least. A few weeks ago on Raw, Shamrock was beating up D’Lo Brown but Rock came out for the save. He hit Shamrock in the head with a chair shot that would get John Cena fired today. He also hit Faarooq, the leader of the Nation, in the head “by mistake. I’m sure.

Shamrock immediately attacks to start and Rocky is in trouble. A clothesline puts the champion on the floor and Rock tries to walk out. Shamrock sends him into the barricade but has to stop the count, allowing Rock to get in some shots of his own. Apparently if Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. Back in and a kick to the chin puts the champion down and Shamrock rams Rock’s head into the mat a few times.

Back to the floor again, this time with Shamrock going into the steps to give Rock his first extended advantage. There’s the yet to be named People’s Elbow for two but Shamrock throws Rock out to the floor again. Ken gets a chair but stops to shove the referee down, allowing Rock to get the chair and CRACK Shamrock’s head with it. That gets two and there’s a powerslam by Shamrock. The ankle lock changes the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This was too fast paced to work that well but Shamrock’s insanity worked really well here. Rocky would move on to the feud that launched him to the stars against HHH soon after this while Shamrock would fight various people until heading to the Corporation late in the year. Decent match but too short to mean much.

Post match Shamrock goes after Rock even more but here’s the Nation. Shamrock easily suplexes Henry down and puts Rock back in the ankle lock. This brings out Faarooq who won’t get in the ring to help his Nation teammate Rock. Shamrock keeps the ankle lock on Rock for a bit before finally letting it go. Instead he beats up referees, which causes the original referee to reverse his decision and give Rock the title back. Gah with the Dusty Finishes. With nothing to lose, Shamrock destroys Rock even more and holds up the title.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

This is a dumpster match which is a casket match with a dumpster. The Outlaws are defending because two months ago they put Cactus and Funk (Charlie is Terry Funk) in a dumpster and shoved it off the stage. Billy and Roadie are about 24 hours from joining DX so they’re not quite what they would become yet. It’s a brawl to start (were you expecting anything else?) and there’s a dumpster at ringside to put a team inside.

Cactus and Roadie trade shots to the head as Billy chokes Funk. Jack tries to charge off the apron at Roadie but gets sent into the side of the dumpster instead. Funk goes into the barricade as the champions are controlling early on. They backdrop Terry into the dumpster but he escapes before Jack can be put inside with him. That’s fine with the Outlaws as they drape both challengers over the edge of the dumpster and slam the lids over the backs of both guys.

Both challengers are put back inside but Jack grabs stereo Mandible Claws to stop the Outlaws’ momentum. We head back inside and Road Dogg gets caught by some neckbreakers before Jack and Billy head to the floor again. The Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet crushes Gunn and it’s ladder time. Back in and Cactus goes up on top of the ladder along with Billy, onto to have Terry knocked into the ladder, sending both guys on top of it into the dumpster. Cactus climbs out as Terry is powerbombed into the dumpster.

The three remaining people fight into the back and Cactus is rammed into various metal objects. Now he goes into some large (as in 6’0) bottles of Surge and Powerade but Cactus comes back with double arm DDT onto a forklift. Funk pops back in and raises the Outlaws up on the forklift and drops them in another dumpster for the titles.

Rating: C. This was a garbage match (literally) but it was a fun brawl and the good guys got their revenge on the guys that injured them in the first place. What more can you ask for from a match like this, which was the third biggest on the card? Later it would be decided that the title change didn’t count because that was the wrong dumpster, leading to a cage rematch the next night with the Outlaws regaining the belts and joining DX.

Unforgiven is in Greensboro, North Carolina.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. This dates back to last summer, when Bearer claimed that Undertaker burned down his parents’ funeral home, burning his brother Kane to deah. One night Undertaker was beating up Paul Bearer but Bearer claimed that Undertaker’s brother was alive. At Bad Blood, Kane interfered in the first Hell in a Cell match and cost Taker the match, much to Undertaker’s shock. Kane wanted to fight Taker but the Dead Man kept saying no. Kane went on a path of destruction throughout the company but Taker wouldn’t fight him.

Undertaker got a title shot at the Rumble and a week before the show, the brothers seemed to bond. Then at the Rumble itself, Kane turned on his brother and locked him in a casket, which was then set on fire. A few weeks later, Undertaker came back and said he would fight Kane at Wrestlemania. This led to a moment I’ve always loved as Taker was on top of the Titantron and sent a bolt of lightning down at a casket, lighting it on fire. It fell apart, revealing a Kane mannequin inside which burned to end Raw. This is a HUGE deal and almost the co main event.

Here’s Pete Rose to be ring announcer. After getting a warm reception, Pete turns heel on the audience and rips on them for losing for so long. Pete sounds a bit drunk here but not too bad. He makes fun of the Red Sox and there go the lights, cuing Kane. We debut a three year long running joke of Kane beating up Pete, this time with a Tombstone, sending the crowd into delirium. There go the lights and it’s time for the mother of all Undertaker entrances. Druids come out carrying torches and we hear music that sounds like Gregorian chanting. Undertaker walks out under a tunnel of fire and we’re ready to go. AWESOME.

Undertaker vs. Kane

There’s the bell and they stare each other down before Taker pounds away with no effect. Kane shrugs them off and LAUNCHES Undertaker into the corner but Taker is too quick. Kane comes back with a clothesline but Taker immediately sits up. A tombstone doesn’t work for Kane so he puts Taker in the Tree of Woe and stomps away. This is only Kane’s second match in the company to date so we don’t have a lot to go on with him.

A clothesline in the corner puts Undertaker down again as Bearer talks trash. Kane draps him over the top rope and there’s a forearm to the back of the head. Back in and Kane pounds away in the corner but Undertaker covers up. Taker gets a running start at Kane and winds up on the red one’s shoulders, only to be (kind of) slammed face first into the mat. They head to the floor with Taker being dropped face first onto the barricade. A Paul Bearer distraction lets Kane drop the steps onto his brother’s back.

Paul gets in some stompings before Kane suplexes Taker back in. Taker says bring it on and hits a few clotheslines, only to charge into a chokeslam for two as Kane pulls his brother up. We hit the chinlock for over a full minute before Undertaker fights up with punches to the ribs. A back elbow puts him back down though and an elbow drop sets up another chinlock by Kane. Taker fights out of that one as well, only to try to crotch Kane on the top rope. That doesn’t quite work though as Kane bounces on the top rope and falls to the floor.

Instead here’s a Taker Dive but Kane throws him through the Spanish Announce Table in a spectacular crash. Back in and the top rope clothesline gets two for Kane and Bearer is shocked. Taker loads up a Tombstone out of nowhere but gets countered into one by his brother but it only gets two. Kane is TICKED so they slug it out with Taker getting the better of it.

A clothesline puts Kane down and there’s a chokeslam by Undertaker. The Tombstone hits Kane but it only gets two. You can hear the fans gasp at the kickout. There’s another Tombstone but THAT just gets two so Taker goes up for a top rope clothesline. The third Tombstone FINALLY ends it, even though Kane would have been up at 3.1.

Rating: C-. I’ve heard this called terrible and yeah it’s bad, but it’s definitely not horrible. They would have been better suited cutting out about two minutes but even without that missing this was still a solid power match. It was clear they were getting winded by the end, but this is one of the matches where the crowd carried things. There’s nothing wrong with that and it worked well here. Nowhere near as bad as I remembered it.

Post match Kane lays out Undertaker again, blasting him with a chair a few times. A tombstone on the chair leaves Taker out cold.

We recap Austin vs. Michaels. Austin was the hottest thing in the history of ever and it was a matter of time until he won the world title. Mike Tyson was brought in to referee the main event and joined DX to desperately convince people that Austin had a prayer’s chance of losing here. Austin’s neck is basically being held together by tape while Michaels’ back isn’t that lucky, so expect a lot of easy brawling here.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin

We get the always awesome shot of the guys walking from the back to the ring. Mike Tyson is guest enforcer on the floor and there’s a regular referee in the ring. JR: “Folks, it don’t get no bigger than this.” They circle each other to start and there’s a double bird for HBK. Shawn pops him with a left hand and does it again a few seconds later. The champion runs away but gets caught back inside as Austin pounds away and pulls Shawn’s tights down to give the girls a thrill.

A backdrop puts Shawn on the floor but HHH gets in a shot to Austin’s back. He sends Austin into the barricade which gets both him and Chyna ejected. Austin beats up HHH in the aisle but it lets Michaels get in a shot to take over. Shawn sends Austin into the dumpster shoulder first and we head back to the ring. The challenger comes back with right hands and there’s a Flair Flip which must feel like murder for Shawn.

The Stunner is countered as Shawn bails to the apron, only to get knocked onto the still standing announce table. Back in and the Austin elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock so Shawn can get his back pain down to only pure agony. Back up and Shawn hits a jawbreaker to give himself a breather. Shawn heads to the floor and it’s clear he can barely move. He tries to wrap Austin’s leg around the post but gets pulled face first into it instead.

Shawn comes back with a backdrop to put Austin into the crowd and there’s a bell shot for good measure. Back in and Shawn lays in some right hands but he can barely move other than that. The fans chant Holyfield to tick off Tyson for no apparent reason. More punching by Shawn but he can’t even bend over to pick up Austin’s legs. Austin comes back with a double leg trip and rapid fire punches to Shawn’s face before sending Michaels back to the floor.

This time though the tripping up works and Austin’s leg is wrapped around the post. It gets wrapped a few more times and we head back inside for some basic leg work. A figure four is countered and Austin kicks him shoulder first into the post. Shawn comes right back with another shot to the knee though before cannonballing down onto it for good measure. A chop block puts Steve down and there’s a very ginger figure four by the champion. After Shawn cheats any way he can, Austin turns the hold over to escape.

Michaels gets caught in a slingshot to send him into the post for two but he comes back with a sleeper. The referee gets crushed in the counter as Shawn is dropped face first onto the buckle again. Austin sends him into the corner and stomps a mudhole but Shawn comes back with the flying forearm. Michaels nips up to blow my mind before dropping the big elbow. He tunes up the band but Austin ducks. The Stunner doesn’t work but neither does another superkick attempt. The Stunner hits, Tyson slides in for the pin and Austin claims his destiny.

Rating: B+. Considering how messed up the two of them were, this was nothing short of a miracle. Shawn was literally wrestling with a broken back and Austin’s neck was close enough that you could say it was broken too. This was a great match and a great way to send Austin to the top of the company, as he beats the previous top guy and the torch is passed. At this point, no one thought Shawn would ever wrestle again so this was a great way to go out. This match is also the definition of “match where everyone and their mother knew what was going to happen and it was the 100% correct call”.

We get the famous line from JR of “The Austin Era has begun!” as Austin gets the belt for the first time. He poses on the ropes in another famous visual before handing Tyson an Austin shirt. Shawn is ticked off at Tyson and gets in his face so Tyson lays him out with a right hand (JR: “TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES MICHAELS!”). Massive celebrating ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a pretty solid show and a good example of a shot that doesn’t fit with the individual parts that it had if that makes sense. The main event is by far the best, but this was much more about atmosphere and buildup. The good guys went over in every major match and only the Rock match had a screwy finish. Tonight’s show was about giving the fans what they were supposed to get and sometimes that’s the right move. This show finally launched WWF over the hump and put them on top in the Monday Night Wars, where they would basically stay forever (minus about six weeks in the fall

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+

Redo: B

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+

Redo: C

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: B

I have no idea what I was thinking on the second and third matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/21/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-14-everything-changes-forever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 14
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

We have arrived in the Attitude Era full blast now. As of last year’s Wrestlemania, it was about as obvious as possible that Austin was going to be the guy that the company put itself on for the foreseeable future. Bret was gone due to Montreal and, we didn’t know it at the time, but Shawn was on his way out. This show was based completely around storyline with wrestling thrown in on the side.

The big deal at this show was Mike Tyson. Floyd Mayweather at last year’s show was nothing but a cheap imitation of this. Tyson being on the show was absolutely mind blowing at the time as he was one of the biggest names in the world. We all knew Austin would get the belt, but with Tyson there we wanted to see how he did it. The other feud was a mind blowing one as well with Kane vs. the Undertaker.

That feud is about as epic as you can get so I’ll go into the explanation for that when it’s time. This was the first show that was completely in the new era and it’s clear that the company was going in a new direction. You can see that in the very first match of the show. Before that though, we get an excellent video talking about how the new generation is killing off the tradition of Wrestlemania, but it questions if they really are doing so. Check it out if you get the chance. Where was I? Oh yes, let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s a new era in the company. This era is full of brash young men that are fighting for the same title that Hogan and Sammartino had. Tonight instead of fighting history, they will become it. Cool opening video.

With no pyro or anything, it’s time for the first match.
Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Henry/Brown), Nation of Domination (Farrooq/Kama), Quebecers, New Midnight Express (Bart Gunn and Bob Holly), Rock N Roll Express (original), Headbangers, Too Much (Too Cool), Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwins, Legion of Doom 2000
This is for a title shot the following month at Unforgiven. The LOD is returning here, managed by the epitome of sex appeal, Sunny. If you ask most people here, Sunny was one of their first crushes. Just an absolute goddess. Anyway, this is a pretty big mess of a match. The rules are that if one man is eliminated, so is his partner. The RVD sign in the crowd amuses me. The crowd is going nuts for LOD, who were always ridiculously over.

We only see the intros of Farrooq/Kama and the LOD, more or less saying who the winners are automatically. Why there’s a remix of their song I have no idea. Anyway, Animal is in shorts now and Sunny is in very little. LOUD LOD chant starts up. Everyone starts on the floor so it’s a big brawl to start. Savio goes out. There isn’t much to say here as everything is a big mess with 30 people in the ring to start.

Kurrgan comes out and eliminates the Truth Commission. Barry Windham comes out to get rid of Chainz and Bradshaw. Thankfully that clears up a bit of space here. D’lo and Henry are out. The Quebecers are out. This is going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. The original Express is out. This is annoying beyond belief.

Castillo and Estrada are out. Headbangers are out. Henry is still in there even though his partner is out. I have no idea who is left. Henry is gone finally. Too Much is gone and Lawler is mad. Uh the Godwins, the DOA, the LOD, New Midnights and that’s it. We slow WAY down and this is just boring.

The DOA is finally out. We went from like two eliminations a minute to one in three minutes. Ok the DOA is still in. Now the Godwins are out as is DOA. The Godwins get their buckets to drill LOD, making it harder for the new Midnights to pick them up and toss them as the LOD are now dead weight. Animal goes under the ropes but Hawk hangs on. I think you know the ending here. The LOD clean house and almost stereo eliminations give the old guys the win.

Rating: D-. This was awful. The ending was known far before the match ended, the eliminations were awful as they went far too fast, and there were WAY too many people in the ring at once with 30 being in there at the beginning. This team went nowhere for the most part but anytime Sunny looks like that you can’t call it a failure at all.
Light Heavyweight Championship: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

This is the epitome of filler. No one ever knew what to do with these guys so it would be Taka vs. random opponent of the month. This whole title was just a waste and I don’t think anyone missed it when it was exiled to Metal. It was clearly a response to the Crusierweights, but the problem was simple: most of the good cruiserweights were taken already.

Aside from Taka, the WWF guys had no personality, no substance to them at all, and were just dull. There was absolutely no structure to the division whatsoever. See what I’m doing here? I’m typing this out so I don’t have to be bored to death by this match. Dang it I have to watch it I guess. There was zero transition here at all either as we just start the match. No entrance for Taka either.

They slap hands to start and here we go. This is very much like the Moolah Women’s Title defenses back in the 70s and early 80s. Asai moonsault by Aguila who is only 19. We head to the floor for the second time tonight as Taka hits a huge plancha to take down Aguila.

We go into the ring and the fans go into their seats. No one cares about these guys and it’s pretty clear. There’s a reason why this division bombed and I’ve gone into it already. We go to the floor for the third time in less than three minutes. Taka counters for a bit but gets caught by a top rope armdrag.

Aguila does some great flips and we’re on the floor one more time. Nice corkscrew plancha by Aguila takes Taka down as we’re doing high spot, rest, high spot, rest, lather rinse repeat. Moonsault by Aguila gets two. Middle rope splash gets knees for Taka and the champion is in trouble. Michinoku Driver and a moonsault miss but Taka gets a counter with a dropkick and the second attempt at the Driver ends this.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but at the same time, this was rather pointless. It’s the definition of filler as there was no reason to care about any character. Only Taka got any kind of extended camera time and when the challengers are all gone a week later, why in the world should I get interested? The division never worked and those are some reasons why.

We see some woman that had something to do with Bill Clinton interviewing the Rock. This is completely hilarious as Rock is the most egomaniacal person of all time, saying that all the major issues like homelessness aren’t important as long as his lawn is clean. He’s the judge and jury and is always a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking. If my memory is right, that’s the debut of that line. He makes sex jokes about interns and is absolutely hilarious.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

This feud is a residual effect from Montreal. The time of HHH as leader of DX was on the horizon as was his face turn. That would lead to one of the best feuds of the late 90s between him and the Rock, culminating in an absolute war in the ladder match at Summerslam. Chris Warren and the DX Band play HHH to the ring. He’s champion here and Chyna will be handcuffed to Sgt. Slaughter, the commissioner, during the match.

We get a quick video of Owen’s bad ankle being destroyed by Chyna and losing the title to HHH as a result. Owen never got his big match with Shawn and was more or less buried and fed to HHH who moved on to bigger stuff. Owen was given the European Title after beating Goldust to keep him appeased but the writing was totally on the wall at that point.

Setting up the handcuffs takes FOREVER. Owen comes out and the fight is on in a hurry. Bret is actually mentioned here which is odd to hear indeed. Hurricanrana gets two. Owen was insane in the ring at times for someone his size. HHHHH gets in a shot to the knee and we hit the floor. Chyna tries to interfere but gets stopped cold by Slaughter.

Owen takes over again and we go back to the ring. Sharpshooter almost goes on but HHH rakes the eyes. Hart lowers his head and gets a facebuster because of it. Well if you do it that obviously you deserve to get a knee to the face. Crotch chop to Owen. Earl Hebner isn’t here tonight and is in intensive care for some reason. He’s watching Mania though, probably thinking of how to screw over Owen for a change.

Suplex by HHH gets no cover. Jerry screams at HHH to go for the ankle but it’s a Flair knee drop instead. DDT gets two. HHH finally goes after the ankle and the big beaked Canadian is screaming in pain. Owen’s nose is busted. More ankle work but Owen gets some shots in to take over a bit. He ducks a boot and slides HHH’s balls into the post. Get Stephanie stat!

Missile dropkick gets two as the ankle is ok enough for that I guess. Quick belly to belly gets two. Enziguri puts HHH down but it reinjures the ankle and down goes Owen. The delay allows HHH to kick out before the three. Rana is blocked into a powerbomb for two for HHH. Chyna keeps trying to interfere as Owen gets a cross body for two.

Pedigree is blocked into another Sharpshooter attempt but Owen manages to fall on the little Pedigrees again for two. Owen lowers his head again and almost gets caught in the Pedigree again. Instead it’s reversed into the Sharpshooter but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes even with Sarge out there. That’s rather impressive. Chyna gets some white powder from somewhere (read as Waltman) and throws it in Slaughter’s eyes. A low blow to Owen lets HHH hit the Pedigree to end it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but they needed a few more minutes. Also the cheating at the end made the Slaughter aspect completely pointless. It’s good but there’s just not enough there to warrant a higher grade. I liked it though as Owen and HHH were both good in the ring with HHH being a shell of what he would become.

Chyna beats up Slaughter post match to a big pop just because she can.

Apparently we have some technical difficulties as Vince should be checked for a heart attack. I didn’t notice anything.

We recap Sable vs. Mero with him being starved for attention while Sable became a star. He got Goldust and Luna to help him in some weird way. This was one of the weirder angles in the early Attitude Era which is saying a lot. Luna wanted to make Sable ugly and Mero defended her, bringing Goldie into it. This takes like three minutes to explain.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna and Goldust

Oh he’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust here. I lay corrected. Mero is a boxer character here which mirrors his real life background. Goldie is of course dressed in a ridiculous outfit. Sable and Luna want to start us off. Sable is about as clueless as you could ask for. Remember that as I’ll get back to it later. Actually the guys start us off as the genders have to match here.

Off to the women as Sable gets a loud pop. Luna runs and the chase is on. Luna gets back in the ring and tags out so it’s back to the men. Mero backdrops Goldust and it’s off to Sable and Luna. Luna of course hides again like the heel she is so it’s back to Mero and Goldie again. You may notice Sable is doing NOTHING here.

Goldust gets a clothesline out of the corner to put Mero down and take over for a bit. Both guys go for cross bodies and it’s Goldust taking over again. The fans want Sable and I can’t say I blame them. She does look good here. Sable finally comes in to fight Luna and hammers away. She’s incredibly sloppy and fires “martial arts” kicks. Goldie gets drilled also and Luna is reeling.

She manages to get the tag off to Goldie so Sable hits him too. Mero beats on Goldust on the floor but can’t get a slingshot splash to come back in. Sable distracts the referee and Mero gets a low blow. TKO is countered into a DDT for two. Curtain call is reversed and Mero gets a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana gets two and a rollup from heel miscommunication does the same.

TKO isn’t as crisp as it should be but Luna saves. Sable tags herself in and tries to pin Goldust. Luna misses a splash and Sable debuts her powerbomb to get two. See, for a big move like that it should END THE MATCH. Instead she ends it a few seconds later with a bad TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here considering the star was Sable and Mero vs. Goldust was the core of this. While the did the lifting here, that still gives us the logical conclusion. Of course Sable gets the glory here by being told she’s such a great wrestler. This led to a somewhat sad story actually. After this match, Luna, a long since established veteran, claims that Sable refused to learn how to take bumps and would only get punched or slapped while Luna did all the work.

After the match, Sable was congratulated by everyone while Luna was left completely alone, with the exception of one person telling her she did well: Owen Hart. If you watch the match, you can see that Sable is completely clueless and is only able to do the two big moves that she knew. Other than that it’s all Luna. Also, Luna had always wanted to be the Women’s Champion, yet never got it because of Sable. A very sad story to me.

Jeff Jarrett and that woman from the Rock interview are presented to the crowd in a total waste of time. Oh and Tennessee Lee, the promoter of Jeff Jarrett, introduces them. He’s more famous as Colonel Robert Parker in WCW. Thank goodness the Nation of Domination’s music plays to hurry this along.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This was an interesting little feud here. Shamrock was built up to be this fighting machine that had Rock’s number. Recently, Rock had gotten under Farooq’s, the leader of the Nation, skin, claiming that he, the Rock, was the reason for the group’s success. Four members of the Nation including the Rock are at ringside to face Shamrock. God that woman’s voice is annoying. Flowers is doing the announcing if you didn’t get that.

Shamrock really was sweet at what he did. He knew how to fight and he made sure you knew it. While never a great wrestler, he was completely legit and it made him that much more impressive sounding. Rock’s heritage is explained for the ten thousandth time, without it once being explained why his last name was Maivia and his father’s last name was Johnson.

It’s so weird because I’m watching Raw leading up to this as well as this show today so it’s kind of intriguing to see every little bit that set this up. Shamrock had been owning Rock recently and had let Rock get a clean chairshot which would get them fired today. Also Rock hit Farrooq with a chair for no apparent reason.

Shamrock sprints to the ring and it’s on. Rock ducks a lot of punches but gets kicked in the head to take him down. If Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. After some brawling on the floor it’s back in the ring and all Shamrock. The Nation interferes a bit to give Rock control as he sends Shamrock into the steps.

People’s Elbow isn’t quite of the people yet but it’s still good for two. Shamrock is up quickly, likely because it’s just an elbow. Rock is sent to the floor one more time and Shamrock grabs a chair. He shoves the referee down and Rock gets a BIG chair shot to the head for two. That was absolutely sick and is a great example of why those can be a bad thing. Shamrock does his usual stuff, grabs the ankle lock (yes, KEN SHAMROCK brought it to American pro wrestling, not Kurt Angle) for the quick tap to win the title!

Rating: C+. This was very quick but it did the job it was supposed to. Shamrock looked like an animal here and he massacred Rock with relative ease. When it was one on one Rock was completely overmatched and had to cheat to get anything going. The quick tap out was nice also.

Post match the Nation attacks and Shamrock fights them all off. Shamrock grabs the ankle lock again as Farrooq comes down. He looks at Rock and just walks away, more or less turning face. Shamrock grabs the hold again as referees and officials come down. They get their beatings too and Rock is taken out on a stretcher.

Shamrock’s eyes are FREAKY. Due to the beatings, the decision is reversed and Rock keeps the title. He goes after Rock and beats on him even more. Rock wouldn’t lose the title until August at Summerslam and Shamrock wouldn’t get it until October.

The WWF guys say they’re real athletes, which is true.

There’s a gate record tonight as there has never been a more lucrative event in this city. I find that hard to believe with Patriot games or Red Sox games.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Ago Outlaws

The backstory here is simple. Jack was feuding with the Outlaws and got tired of getting beaten up, so he got his friend Charlie, a.k.a. Terry Funk to help him. Eventually the Outlaws threw them in a dumpster and threw them off the stage. This match for the tag titles is the result of that act. It’s dumpster match which means you have to put both guys in the dumpster.

Road Dogg is getting the entrance there but doesn’t quite have it yet since they’re not in DX yet. There’s a dumpster at ringside. This is far more of a brawl than a match as you would expect. They hit the floor immediately and the beating is on. It’s Cactus vs. Road Dogg and Funk vs. Gunn. Cactus tries a flip at Road Dogg but bounces off the dumpster instead.

The Outlaws are in control early and manage to get Funk into the dumpster. Roadie hits a Russian Leg Sweep to ram Cactus’ head into the dumpster. That was SICK. The Outlaws slam the lids of the dumpster on the back of the heads of their challengers. Cactus is in the dumpster while Funk is abused. Both challengers are in now and Gunn celebrates but Cactus gets up and gets a double Mandible Claw. They couldn’t shut the lid so the match isn’t over.

Funk pops out of the dumpster with a cookie sheet to hammer away some more. Cactus and Funk take turns giving neckbreakers to Road Dogg as this is a total brawl. Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet to Gunn on the floor. He looks for more toys and finds a ladder. Oh dear. Cactus and Billy climb it for no apparent reason and get launched into the dumpster.

They both get out but Funk is powerbombed into it by Billy. The Outlaws take Cactus to the back and we don’t have a camera there so we see some replays. Ah there’s a shot in the back with Cactus falling into everything. After being thrown into some massive soda bottles, Cactus finds a chair to even the odds. He puts both Outlaws on a forklift which Funk commandeers to put them in a dumpster to win the titles.

Rating: C+. Hard one to grade here as it was a total mess to say the least. That being said, the challengers worked themselves to death out there and it’s not like the Outlaws ever wrestled anyway. The ending would come into play the next night on raw as the Outlaws would get the decision overturned because they were put into the wrong dumpster. Later that night, the company just happened to have a steel cage handy so the titles were on the line in a cage match. DX interfered, giving the titles to the Outlaws, who finally joined DX.

Now we get to the real stuff on this card. This whole show was built around two matches: the WWF Title match, and this one right here. In what might have been the best booked “silly” feud of all time, the Undertaker was set to do battle with his brother Kane. My God this was built up perfectly. Sit back, because this is a long backstory.

After Paul Bearer betrayed Taker at Summerslam 96, Taker was going after him. Midway through the previous year when Taker was WWF Champion, he feuded with Mankind, managed by Bearer. During that feud, Bearer mentioned the name Kane. This drove Taker insane as he kept trying to cover up what this name meant. Finally Bearer revealed that it was Taker’s brother, and that Taker attempted to kill him.

This led to Bearer eventually saying that when Taker’s parents were killed in a fire, the Undertaker was the person that started the fire in an attempt to kill his parents. What wasn’t known was that his brother was in the house with them. Taker says that it was an accident and that he tried to rescue them but firefighters held him back. Bearer would go on to reveal that he was in fact Kane’s father.

This results in one of the worst beatings ever recorded on WWF television, but it ends with Paul saying that it’s the truth and that Kane told him, because Kane was still alive. Apparently Paul rescued him from the fire and cared for him for the last 20 years, which was unknown to Taker.

This was all revealed over a several month long period of time. Finally, in August, Taker was facing Shawn Michaels in the first ever Hell in a Cell match. Shawn gets one of the worst beatings of all time, but as Taker signals for the Tombstone, the lights go out and we hear organ music. An explosion goes off and a 7ft giant walks through the curtain, accompanied by Paul Bearer.

Taker is stunned as this man rips the door to the cage off and tombstones Taker, allowing Shawn to pin him. There was one key to this whole thing that made it work to me: for probably 3 months, you only heard about Kane. Until the night of the Cell match, you never saw him.

You didn’t know what he looked like, you didn’t know how he dressed, you didn’t know how big he was. You knew absolutely nothing at all but what you heard. All you knew was he was the Undertaker’s brother. After all the buildup you got about him, no matter what he looked like when you finally saw him, he was going to be awesome. That my friends, is how you build up a character.

Anyway, Kane of course wants to fight his brother. In the interest of ratings, Taker says no way. Kane begins just destroying people left and right, including two brothers named Matt and Jeff. They never did anything after that I don’t think. Kane would randomly run in and beat people up, all while begging the Undertaker to fight him.

He would come to the ring and beat up his brother, but Taker kept insisting he couldn’t fight his own flesh and blood. Kane punched him one night and raised him hand to do it again, but Taker blocked it. The crowd went nuts over him simply raising him arm. Taker didn’t fight back though and got beaten up again.

Finally, Taker and Shawn were feuding again, leading up to the Rumble. HHH kept interfering, but one night, out of absolutely nowhere, Kane helped his brother. That Sunday at the Rumble, Taker was gang attacked and Kane came out. However, he beat up his brother and shut him in the casket, costing him the match. Kane then locked it shut and set it on fire.

However, after this occurred, it was revealed that the casket was empty, prompting Paul Bearer to be absolutely terrified, knowing that Taker was still alive somewhere. Kane continued to ravage the company, until one night on Raw, the arena was covered by a blue light, and druids brought out a body on a pedestal. A bolt of lightning hit it, and the man on it rose up, revealing himself to be the Undertaker himself.

In a completely over the top yet still amazing promo, the Deadman said he will gain his revenge on his little brother, accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania. The next week on Raw, Kane was in the ring having called out his brother, yet instead Taker appeared on top of the titantron, talking about how Kane would feel his wrath. Taker then threw a lightning bolt at the stage, igniting a coffin that was standing up. Inside was an effigy of Kane, that began burning.

And that finally leads us to this. The video on the PPV took over five minutes so you know this was a long story.
Kane vs. The Undertaker

Before the match, Pete Rose appears, insulting Boston. Kane then comes out and tombstones Pete Rose, starting a three year running joke feud between the two which was rather funny in my eyes. This was kind of funny but went on too long. Rose sounds drunk too. Also, was there a need to make Kane a face for 8 seconds like that? Anyway, JR puts it just right: as Taker is about to appear, JR says, “This ovation will be not of this world.” He couldn’t’ have been more correct.

The fans all have their lighters out, they’re going crazy, Taker has a line of druids all holding up torches which he walks under, the lightning, the thunder, the smoke, and Taker dressed in his demonic attire. It was absolutely amazing looking and finally the pair face off in the middle of the ring. This is still the best entrance of his I’ve ever seen. This match might have the best build up I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Taker’s offense is no sold to start which is going to be something you read a lot in this review. Kane launches him into the corner but Taker keeps moving. Almost all Taker so far. Short clothesline by Kane but Taker pops up. Kane gets him in a Tombstone position but rams him into the buckle instead. You have to remember this is maybe the fifth match Kane had in this gimmick, at least two of which had been squashes. This isn’t something he’s used to yet.

Kane takes over and we slow things WAY down. These two seem incapable of having a good match for some reason. Taker winds up on Kane’s shoulders so Kane shoves him face first into the mat. Well kind of as it didn’t go like it was supposed to but you get the idea.

Out to the floor now as Taker is dropped across the railing. Kane drops the steps on Taker’s back as Bearer has the referee. The steps make a big sound and hit the referee in the leg, yet somehow the referee doesn’t call a DQ. Makes sense right? Taker is apparently trying to get Kane to punch himself out. Chokeslam gets two as Kane pulls his brother up.

We hit the chinlock. Now let’s time this as it goes on for FAR too long overall. Yet again we get the beginning of the Streak wrong, saying it started at Mania 8 instead of 7. Minute and a half on this particular chinlock until Taker breaks it up. A clothesline puts the more successful one down and it’s back to the chinlock. Just a minute this time as Taker lifts Kane up and puts him on the apron.

A big boot finally puts Kane on the floor. Taker dives over the ropes but Kane casually steps to the side and lets Taker crash into the table. Top rope clothesline puts Taker down again for two. You ever notice that everyone manhandles Taker better than the previous guy he fought?

Out of nowhere Taker grabs a Tombstone but Kane reverses into one of his own for a long two count. The crowd is barely alive for this by the way. Taker starts firing punches in and a big shot takes Kane down. Big boot is blocked so Taker has to settle for the Chokeslam. Taker gets the Tombstone but KANE KICKS OUT. This was unheard of as I don’t think that had ever been done.

Kane pops up so Taker has to hit a second Tombstone which AGAIN only gets two. Bearer is clutching his chest as he curses Undertaker. Taker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Kane down one more time. The THIRD Tombstone finally gets the pin as he hooks a leg and Kane kicked out at about 3.1.

Rating: D+. While not great from a technical standpoint, this match’s build up was out of this world. A fine example of the hype carrying a match rather than the in ring work. The streak is beginning to mean something now as it reaches 7-0, although I don’t think that’s mentioned for another three years. The match itself more or less sucked, but the buildup was there and enough to make it passable. Cut about 5 minutes out of this and it goes WAY up.

Kane beats up Taker with a chair post match including a Tombstone on it.

We recap Austin vs. Shawn. Basically there’s not much build up here. Austin won the Rumble and got the title shot. On Raw one night, Vince had Mike Tyson show up as a guest, but Austin got in his face, flipping him off and starting a fight. This is what planted the seeds for the Austin vs. McMahon war that went on for nearly two years. Tyson is named the enforcer referee for the title match, but joins DX in between. It was his involvement with Austin that is credited with putting the WWF over the top of WCW, so in the end this was a great move.
WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

If you didn’t get that, Mike Tyson is a guest referee and allegedly in Michaels’ pocket. Yep Austin is over. Austin and Tyson immediately get in each other’s faces. Tyson is actually the outside referee here which is probably better. He grabs at Austin’s foot just after the bell. As JR says, it don’t get no bigger than this. Austin flips Shawn off as we’re waiting around a bit before we get going.

Shawn scores with some fast punches and then runs like an intelligent lad. Here comes Austin though and we get the Heart Break reveal. Austin goes for the knee, I guess trying to get rid of Sweet Chin Music. Shawn, with his tights still pulled down, gets backdropped onto DX on the floor.

HHH jumps Austin on the floor but the referee doesn’t disqualify Shawn due to it being too easy of a way out. HHH and Chyna are sent to the back to a huge pop. Austin beats up HHH by the band area because he can. Shawn drills him with a clothesline for hurting his life partner though as this is your standard Attitude Era brawl.

Back in the ring Shawn gets caught coming off the top and here comes Austin again. Flair flip in the corner and Shawn is more or less dead. Atomic drop gets two for the bald one. Austin knocks him off the apron and Shawn’s head smacks into the table. That looked sick. Austin hammers away and the elbow gets two.

We hit the chinlock as it’s clear Shawn is far weaker than he usually would be. Shawn fights back though and it’s time for the ring post. Austin pulls Shawn in and Shawn’s head rams the post instead. Nice and simple counter there. We hit the floor and Austin is sent into the crowd via a backdrop. Shawn pops him in the head with the bell which the referee didn’t see. Tyson did though and is like “I want a new rubber duckie. I’ll name it Albert and I can bite his head off in the tub!”

Back in the ring with Shawn dominating completely. He hammers away on Austin while Tyson cheers Shawn on. Shawn flips off the crowd and limps around the ring. Austin gets a kind of spear and hammers away. Shawn goes flying to the floor again and his back must just be dead. He gets the leg of Austin around the post though to reestablish his dominance.

Shawn works on the knee for a good while as he’s trying to take away the Stunner I guess. That makes sense. According to JR that’s what he’s doing at least. Austin gets knocked into the table by Shawn and Tyson throws him back in. Here’s the Figure Four from Shawn as he channels his inner other old crippled dude.

The hold goes on for a good while but Austin reverses and Shawn lets it go. Austin catapults him into the post for two and it’s time for a sleeper from Shawn. Naturally the referee is bumped (with Shawn’s back going into his face that is) and Austin hammers away. Shawn gets the forearm (minus the jump but I can accept that) and nips up.

Top rope elbow looks to kill Austin but there’s no striped shirt wearing referee. Shawn starts to tune up the band as his face looks horrible from the pain in his back. Austin ducks the kick, Shawn blocks the Stunner, Austin catches the kick, Stunner, Tyson slides in and Austin wins his first title! JR: “The Austin Era has begun.” Perfect description. Tyson puts on an Austin shirt and knocks Shawn the heck out to end the show.

Rating: B+. We all pretty much knew who was going to win here, but we watched to see how Tyson would play in and how Austin would do it. Looking back now and knowing how much pain Shawn was in because of his back, this match goes way up in impressiveness for me.

You can tell when Shawn is selling and when he’s in real pain and it’s good to see that despite Shawn being a complete jerk backstage, he would go out and perform despite the pain he was in. I don’t care how big of a jerk he was, that takes guts. This match pretty much comes down to who is going to hit their big move first.

The match itself is much better than I remember it being. That’s not saying much because I, like most people, barely remember it. We all know the ending and the buildup, but that’s about it. Good, underrated match.­

Overall Rating: B+. If there’s ever been a show where the torch was completely passed, you’re looking at it. Austin winning the title finally is as about as important of an event as you can possibly have in company history. It launched the WWF ahead of WCW in the war, although that wouldn’t be official for a few more weeks, and it was also the last time Shawn would wrestle for nearly 5 years.

However, even with the Taker match, the solid work elsewhere and only two bad matches, you really do have an all around solid show. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth checking out. Skip the Light Heavyweight match and about five minutes of Taker/Kane and you’ll love the rest of it in theory.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

Things are rolling along as usual around here, which means a lot of the same stories that kind of need to go somewhere already. That’s one of Impact’s biggest problems and it’s been the case for years: they don’t seem to know how wrap up stories so things just keep going on and on for months. Hopefully we get some advancement soon because the good things that they have are rapidly approaching their expiration date. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Standard opening recap.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Tommy Dreamer

Yes seriously. It’s a brawl to start with Swann and Callihan being left in the ring until Rich kicks him to the floor. The good guys are left inside until it’s Dreamer and Sami starting things off, allowing Callis to talk about Dreamer sticking his nose into everything. Preach it man. Mack comes in to work on Jake’s arm and Dreamer adds a bottom rope ax handle. Dave takes over on Dreamer and it’s off to Sami for an elbow drop.

The Cactus Piledriver is countered though and it’s a catapult to send Sami into the corner. Mack comes back in for a powerslam and the standing moonsault, followed by a nip up. Dreamer drops an elbow and does his version of a nip up (it’s funny because he’s old and fat), leaving Mack and Swann to do their dives.

Instead of diving, Dreamer runs to the apron and climbs down for some right hands (it’s funny because he’s old and fat if you didn’t get the same joke a minute ago). Back from a break with Swann fighting out of Sami’s chinlock but getting caught in Jake’s reverse Rings of Saturn.

With that broken up, Dave works on the leg until a kick to the head lets Dreamer get the hot tag. Sami comes in to spit in Dreamer’s face as everything breaks down. Dreamer knocks all three of them into a corner for a running cannonball from Mack, and it’s stereo frog splashes onto the Crists. Tommy even hits his own splash onto Sami (BECAUSE HE’S OLD AND FAT!) but Callihan pops up and hits the Cactus Piledriver for the pin at 19:03.

Rating: C-. So now the heel commentator’s line is “Dreamer needs to go away because he keeps stealing spots from people”? Why would I disagree with that? Is is because Dreamer is a legend who won’t go away? Or is it because he’s old and fat and makes fun of being old and fat? It’s not funny but you can’t make fun of Dreamer because he was in ECW or something.

Brian Cage asks Johnny Impact, in a neck brace, if he’s ready for tonight. Johnny says he’ll be there. The swerve is strong with this one.

Video on Impact vs. Cage, with the title on the line tonight.

The Rascalz are in their circle when Moose joins them and wonders what’s up with Melissa Santos. Moose punches them all for making fun of his clothes.

Here’s Glenn Gilbertti to call out Scarlett Bordeaux, who he fights next week. Instead he gets a clown.

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Kikutaro

He’s a Japanese comedy guy in a mask. They fight over arm control to start with Kikutaro stopping to dance. Some shoulders don’t work so Glenn punches him down and whips Kikutaro across the ring over and over. The chinlock goes on for all of two seconds so Glenn slams him down but misses the Village People’s Elbow (with a YMCA dance). Kikutaro hits part of a Shining Wizard but a missed moonsault lets Glenn hit the Chartbuster (Stunner) for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D. It’s kind of hard to complain that much about this story as it’s mostly harmless and isn’t getting a ton of time. Scarlett is going to beat Gilbertti up and the fans will be happy while no one of value takes a loss. They’re giving the story about five minutes a week and that’s all they need to do. In other words, this was harmless.

Taya Valkyrie isn’t worried about defending the Knockouts Title because her husband is in danger tonight.

Reno Scum vs. KM/Fallah Bahh

Rematch from a few weeks ago when Scum lost but beat them up after the match. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Scum taking over and sending Bahh into the steps. KM gets punched in the corner until an enziguri drops Luster. There’s no Bahh though, meaning KM has to clothesline Thornstowe down before making the real hot tag. The Samoan drop gets two on Thornstowe, followed by Luster going shoulder first into the post. That’s enough for Bahh to hit a belly to belly for the pin on Thornstowe at 4:32.

Rating: D. Another nothing match but that’s the best way to use Scum. They’re just loud and obnoxious which isn’t enough to make me want to see them stick around. I don’t say this often but KM and Bahh deserve better than this. Hopefully this was just for the Las Vegas tapings as I really don’t want Scum around regularly.

Konnan asks the Lucha Bros when they’re giving LAX their rematch. That’s not happening so Konnan threatens them as they leave.

Post break Konnan tells them that there’s no rematch yet. LAX doesn’t seem worried because it’s going to be a street fight.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Jordynne Grace

#1 contenders match. Tessa can’t do much with the power to start so Jordynne runs her over with a clothesline. The threat of a splash in the corner makes Tessa pull the referee in front of her, meaning it’s a hard forearm to Jordynne’s face. The hanging Downward Spiral is countered but Tessa grabs the Codebreaker for two instead. That kickout doesn’t sit well with Tessa so she hammers away but walks into a spinebuster.

Back from a break with Tessa unloading with forearms until a Michinoku Driver gets Jordynne out of trouble. A Muscle Buster is broken up and Tessa hits some kind of a swinging reverse DDT. Tessa goes up but spends too much time talking about Gail Kim, allowing Grace to slam her down. An elbow to the face staggers Jordynne but she’s right back with the Grace Driver (pumphandle driver) for the pin at 10:21.

Rating: C. Nice power match here, even if we’re just killing time until Kim vs. Blanchard. I mean, you have to give them time to set up the 194 video packages on how legendary and amazing Kim really is. Grace going after the title could be interesting as you can only have a monster like her in the midcard for so long.

Tessa sells the heck out of the driver and barely moves. After she finally gets up, Tessa snaps, yells about Kim some more and beats up the timekeeper. Gail Kim comes in for the save and clears the ring.

United We Stand ad.

Tessa yells at Scott D’Amore and demands something be done about Gail. Speaking of Gail, she comes in and yells as well, earning herself a suspension. This story really doesn’t warrant such a long build.

United We Stand rundown.

GWN Flashback Of The Week: Brian Cage vs. Eli Drake from last year’s Lucha Underground vs. Impact show.

Rosemary tries to get inside Allie’s head and find the Bunny. Allie says it’s gone and laughs because Rosemary looks pathetic. Rosemary: “WHERE’S THE BUNNY?” This is more interesting, even though we had to sit through all those losses for Allie and company.

Callihan yells about Swann turning his back on OVE. Now he’s going to take everything from Swann, starting with the X-Division Title next week.

Desi Hit Squad vs. Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake

Eddie and Raj start things off and trade some right hands before it’s off to both partners. It’s already back to Edwards to chop Raju, who brings Raj back in for a flapjack into a sliding knee from Raju. A jumping Downward Spiral gets two and Eli gets knocked off the apron. That’s too much for him so he comes in sans tag to beat up the Squad, which amazingly enough isn’t all that hard. Gama Singh gets on the apron for a distraction so Drake throws in Kenny, allowing Eddie to knock Raju cold for the pin at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The Hit Squad is less annoying than they used to be but they’re still not an act that I want to watch every week. Drake and Edwards are fine as a team and Drake getting a tweener push is rather interesting for a change. He’s still one of the best talkers in the company and it’s a good idea to see him getting this kind of a chance. Throw in the eternally good Edwards and they might have something here.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Brian Cage

Impact is defending and comes out first…being carried unconscious on Killer Kross’ back. Kross has a cinder block with him too and grabs a chair for a bonus. Security runs in and gets beaten up so Kross can put Johnny’s head against the block. Taya tries to bring Cage in for the save but he stays on the ramp as Cage yells at Taya instead. Cage finally comes in and takes out Kross, allowing Taya to hit Cage low. Impact nips up and destroys Cage, putting the block on his head and blasting it with a chair. Kross laughs from the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event angle was nice and FINALLY advanced the story somewhat, though the rest of the show left a lot to be desired. You can only get so far with doing the same stuff over and over, but for some reason Impact is fine with spinning their wheels on stories for months at a time. There’s a long way to go before Rebellion but you can at least see the card being set up. As usual: some good stuff here and there, just not enough that makes you want to come back.

Results

OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Dreamer

Glenn Gilbertti b. Kikutaro – Chartbuster

KM/Fallah Bahh b. Reno Scum – Belly to belly to Thornstowe

Jordynne Grace b. Tessa Blanchard – Grace Driver

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards b. Desi Hit Squad – Kendo stick to Raju

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Invasion 92
Hosts: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

Now this is more my speed. I’ve been doing a lot more indy level stuff lately so let’s take a major step away and go with something I grew up on with a Coliseum Video. This sounds like a bunch of international matches and I’m not sure what to expect from that. These tapes can be from one extreme to the other so it could a lot of ways. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney, dressed up like a Star Trek officer (in theory at least as I’ve never seen a single thing from Star Trek), welcomes us to the show and we’ve got a fan request.

From December 2, 1991 in Corpus Christi, Texas.

Hulk Hogan vs. Typhoon

Someone smack this fan in the face. Typhoon has Jimmy Hart with him and Hogan still gets a very strong reaction, even though we’re pretty close to the end of Hulkamania’s first run. Mooney bills Hogan as 6’9, which is the biggest I’ve ever heard him described. Hogan circles him to start but gets shoved into the corner, which shocks him all over again. A big shove sends Typhoon into the corner and we hit the posing, as this seems to be a bit of the greatest hits.

Right hands in the corner keep Typhoon in trouble and more in the middle make things even worse. Hart takes a right hand of his own but Typhoon gets in a shot from behind. The announcers talk about how these two used to be friends, with Mooney saying that Hogan isn’t at fault for being so popular. Yeah, totally not his fault and it never has been all the other times this has happened. The bearhug goes on, Hogan is near death, the splash hits in the corner, Hogan kicks out at two, the usual connects and the legdrop finishes at 5:52.

Rating: D. I could watch Hogan fight off monsters almost all day (you need a break for lunch and tap dancing) but Typhoon really wasn’t doing it for me. What exactly was I supposed to buy into here? Even Earthquake would have been a better option here, and Hogan more than dispatched him over a year ago. Hogan’s act was running thin here, but a lot of that is due to a lack of opponents.

Back on the ship’s deck (just go with it), WWF Champion Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect beam in a signal and talk about how there is no one on any planet who could give them a challenge.

We see a clip of Flair winning the 1992 Royal Rumble to win the title, giving us some classic Heenan.

From November 13, 1991 in New Haven, Connecticut.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

Bret is defending, though Flair has the Big Gold Belt. Thankfully a graphic says that this is from before the 1992 Rumble to explain why Flair isn’t champion. Now is that so hard to explain? The bell rings and Bret goes outside to give the glasses to a fan so we have no contact for nearly two minutes. Bret grabs some headlock takeovers and it works so well that he does it again, followed by another to reverse a belly to back suplex.

The announcers use this time to debate if there are other wrestling titles beside the WWF Titles. Back up for good this time with Flair slapping Bret and getting punched down with a single right hand. Bret already goes for the leg but Flair slips out and yells at the referee, who shoves him right back. A fight over a top wristlock goes to Ric so Bret nips up and Flair bails into the corner. Some hair pulls take Bret down so he nips up a few more times and punches Flair down for the Flop.

Flair is right back with the chops in the corner but let’s talk about what would happen if Flair ever fought Hulk Hogan. Bret doesn’t take kindly to being ignored and clotheslines the heck out of Flair, who begs off in classic style. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Flair two (and includes a SHUT UP to a fan for pointing it out) and another whip gets the same, complete with the same cheating. Bret escapes a sleeper by ramming Flair face first into the buckle so Flair starts in on the leg, including the fastest Figure Four I’ve ever seen him put on.

The rope is grabbed because Flair is in full on cheating mode tonight until Bret turns it over for the break. Bret gets fed up with the chops and there’s the Flair Flip over the corner for the crash to the floor. A ram into the barricade has Flair begging off and Bret hammers away, which screams for blood but it’s not happening at this point.

Perfect breaks up a Sharpshooter and distracts Bret from putting it on again. Flair sends him to the floor before going with a rather late headlock takeover, which Bret flips over into the bridging backslide for two. They fight outside again and Perfect pulls Hart off the apron so Flair can win by countout at 19:11.

Rating: B+. You knew you weren’t getting a clean fall in a match like this and that shouldn’t be the case. Hart going move for move with Flair was very quality stuff and there was almost no way it wasn’t going to work this well. Bret was clearly one of the best in the world at this point and giving him someone that was an actual test made for a great match with Bret wanting to prove that he could hang with someone as established as Flair. This felt like an even match, which is both impressive and not that surprising for a weird combination.

From December 2, 1991 in Corpus Christi, Texas, the same show as Hogan vs. Typhoon.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair

Shawn is still a Rocker at this point but the announcers know they’re in for something special. Michaels starts fast with a hiptoss into a headlock takeover as the pace slows in a hurry. A missed charge in the corner lets Shawn get two off a top rope spinning sunset flip and it’s right back to the headlock. You think Shawn might be trying to show off a bit here? A slap sends Flair outside and Shawn knocks him back down upon re-entry.

Shawn’s suplex makes Flair beg off and it’s a thumb to the eye to finally give him a real breather. That’s it for the offense at the moment though as Shawn knocks him to the floor and hits a backdrop before stopping to glare at Perfect. A sunset flip is broken up with a right hand but Flair Flops anyway. Perfect finally helps things out and it’s time to start in on the knee. Since Flair can’t get anything going here, Flair gets slammed off the top and a high crossbody gives Shawn two.

A dive hits the barricade though and Shawn seems to have died from the impact. Perfect goes after him so here’s Marty Jannetty to FINALLY even things up a bit. Thanks for being out here for the last ten minutes dude. Shawn is still down as the announcers point out that Marty hasn’t been here, furthering the issues between the team. What used to be Shawn is thrown back in and pinned with feet on the ropes at 10:14. That almost had to be a legitimate injury as the match just stopped cold out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This was starting to rock (pun intended) and then the ending crippled it, which again makes me think that there was an actual injury there. You just don’t stop a hot match like this out of nowhere and you know these two could have gone on for hours. What we got was very good, but the lack of an ending hurt things a lot.

From December 2, 1991 in Corpus Christi, Texas. This show is getting more play than Wrestlemania.

Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Beverly Brothers

The Beverlies are challenging of course with the Genius in their corner. They take their sweet time with the stalling, waiting about two minutes before any significant contact. Fair enough as it’s not like the Beverlies have any real chance once this gets going. Blake gets shoved all the way to the floor and we stall even more.

Back in and Blake forearms Animal in the back and gets thrown across the ring again, this time for a consultation with Beau. It’s Beau coming in for an exchange of powerslams, which goes even worse than you might expect. A very hard clothesline sends the Beverlies outside and Genius offers some advice (“Get a famous brother!”). They get back in with Beau getting to face Hawk and actually trying his luck with right hands.

That earns him a dropkick to the floor and a neckbreaker back inside as the LOD doesn’t seem interested in being on defense here. You know, for a change. Hawk goes shoulder first into the post and the Brothers finally take over for a bit…by going after the back instead of the shoulder. No wonder these nitwits never went anywhere. Beau runs into Hawk in the corner and a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Animal. They botch a backdrop (yes a backdrop, with Blake seeming to jump straight up instead of going forward) as everything breaks down. The Doomsday Device finishes Blake at 8:58.

Rating: D. Oh come on like this should have been ANYTHING else. Who was going to buy the Beverlies as any kind of a threat to the LOD and the titles. There’s nothing to say about this one, though it’s always kind of fun to see the LOD completely not caring and just beating people up because they don’t have to do anything else.

Hayes repairs the ship and we go warp speed to….Sensational Sherri’s Manager Cam.

From January 8, 1992 in Fort Myers, Florida.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tito Santana

Well if I just have to….but Sherri is mic’d up here to make sure we don’t get to properly enjoy things. Sherri: “He ain’t no matador! He didn’t kill no bull! It was a moo cow!” There’s no regular commentary here as it’s just Sherri shouting, which isn’t exactly a camera. Sherri shouts about Tito slapping her Teddy Bear so shoving him into the corner makes her even angrier.

DiBiase hides in the corner as Sherri yelling at the referee has already gone beyond annoying and into migraine inducing. Some lame brawling on the floor is followed by Tito taking it back inside and throwing him outside for a crash. Back in and Sherri grabs Tito’s leg but swears she didn’t do anything to Taco Bell. Sherri gets in a cheap shot on the floor as this is far more boring of a match than these two should be allowed to have.

The villains take turns choking on the ropes and Ted gets two off an elbow. A second one missed though and Tito makes his comeback, sending Sherri into a panic over Teddy Bear getting hurt. Tito has FINALLY had enough of Sherri and goes after her, allowing Ted to follow him out for the double countout at 8:07. That’s almost identical to the finish of DiBiase and Brutus Beefcake at Wrestlemania V.

Rating: D. These are two of my all time favorites and I couldn’t have been more disappointed. This was ENTIRELY about Sherri being mic’d up and that gimmick got really annoying in about ten seconds (they lost me at moo cow). Just let these two have a great fifteen minute match and stop trying to reinvent….well the wheel was useful so we’ll call this reinventing My Mother The Car knee socks.

And now, the Nasty Boys go to a video store, which just happens to be full of Coliseum Videos. Oh be still my beating childhood (the fronts of those tapes are burned into my memory forever). The Nastys aren’t happy with the selection and beat up the manager (who appeared to be longtime WWE director Kerwin Silfies). They take over the store and yell at a guy coming in for ballet tapes. So for once, this really ain’t ballet.

Now normally that would lead to a Nasty Boys match.

From October 1, 1991 in Huntington, West Virginia.

Hercules vs. Big Boss Man

Not quite the Nasty Boys and Gorilla Monsoon replaces Mooney for commentary here. Hercules has Slick in his corner and the dancing is strong during the entrances. An exchange of shoulders goes to Hercules but Boss Man grabs a rollup while Hercules is posing. Boss Man blocks a slam (A guy named HERCULES can’t slam someone?), slides outside to punch Slick, and backdrops Hercules to the floor.

Since it’s the early 90s, we get a double noggin knocker, followed by the running crotch attack to the back. A second attempt misses and an atomic drop stays on the, ahem, damage to give Hercules two. They slug it out with Hercules getting the better of it but Boss Man sends him into the corner a few times to break things up. The Boss Man Slam finishes out of nowhere at 7:35.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with both guys looking exhausted after about two minutes. At the end of the day though, Hercules not even being able to slam Boss Man (who was still big but far from huge at this point) summed up everything you needed to know about the show. Terrible match here and I’d be scared to see what was rejected from this tape.

From September 1, 1991 in Cornwall, Ontario, Canada.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Ted is actually challenging here and has Sherri (thankfully quiet here) with him as Randy Savage is guest referee. Now why do I think that the rather intricate history between the various combinations of these people won’t be mentioned very often? Virgil starts fast with right hands and clotheslines to send Ted outside and he gets to pose with the title. I smell a customized photo for sale! Back in and DiBiase gets slammed a few times, sending him right back to the floor.

DiBiase gets in a shot to the face to take over and sends Virgil outside, meaning it’s a ram into the steps. A suplex gives Ted two more and it’s time for an argument with Savage, who still has the hat on like a real referee should. Another cover gets another two as he pulls Virgil up. DiBiase throws him very far off a backdrop but picks it up again. Savage yells at him again so DiBiase sends him outside and grabs the Million Dollar Dream on Virgil. That’s broken up with a top rope ax handle from Savage and Virgil gets the pin to retain at 7:12.

Rating: D. What do you want from a Virgil match? This was the extent of the story that you can do with him and I’m not sure why anyone is surprised that he didn’t last. The more disappointing part here was no mention of Savage vs. DiBiase or Savage and Sherri, both of which are interesting stories. But at least they got in and out in a hurry, which is the best thing you can do with a match like this.

Mooney and Hayes beam down to a planet for a quick discussion of the weather and an introduction to our main event.

From December 4, 1991 in Austin, Texas.

Jake Roberts/Undertaker vs. Randy Savage/Jim Duggan

The announcers recap Roberts ruining Savage and Elizabeth’s wedding reception as Savage goes after Jake. It’s the other two starting though with Undertaker zombie choking Duggan in the corner and then staring down at the Urn in that creepy way only he can pull off. A missed charge lets Duggan clotheslines him over the top with Undertaker landing on his feet in a spot that always looks cool.

The Stunner over the ropes gets Undertaker out of trouble and it’s off to Roberts who gives up a hot tag to Savage pretty quickly. Savage hammers away and nails the top rope ax handle but it’s back to Undertaker, who scares Hebner half to death in a funny bit. The smother to Savage’s face keeps him in trouble but a missed elbow allows the hot tag to Duggan. The villains cut him off in almost no time though but Savage has finally had it and chairs both of them for the DQ at 7:10.

Rating: D+. The energy was there and I can understand why they went with the finish they chose here, but egads it wasn’t much of a match. Duggan was kind of a random choice here but at least it was the more serious version than the goofy guy who felt out of place. Savage vs. Roberts was still white hot, though it never quite got the blowoff that it deserved.

Mooney and Hayes are stranded on the planet and abandoned by their annoyed crew to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D+. The two Flair matches are the only things that you need to see her eon an otherwise boring effort. That’s always the case with these things though as you never know what you’re going to get. It was a bad time for the company too and while Wrestlemania would help things, the rest of 1992 wasn’t exactly great. Things were transitioning at this point and unfortunately they were going in the wrong direction.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The advertised main event this year is the Undertaker challenging Sid for the WWF World Title. This isn’t the biggest match in the world but then again this isn’t the biggest Wrestlemania in the world. That’s the underlying problem with this show: it feels like any other show instead of the biggest night of the year. This was a strange period where Wrestlemania wasn’t being treated as the company’s grand showcase but that would change soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Free For All: Billy Gunn vs. Flash Funk

Funk is better known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a very skilled high flier. Billy is on his own now and isn’t all that interesting as a solo cowboy. Gunn starts fast but Funk flips out of a backdrop and scores with a superkick. A bad looking belly to back superplex drops Funk again and a clothesline gets a very sloppy two.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about Austin vs. Hart and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Gunn misses a top rope legdrop, allowing Funk to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Funk gets the same off a top rope victory roll but his moonsault hits knees. Billy comes back with a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t very good. Gunn was such a lame character on his own and it would only get worse soon after this as he would become Rockabilly for several months. Funk was at least entertaining with his high flying even though his career in the WWF never went anywhere. Boring match.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania but this isn’t quite the same thing. That’s very true as this one wasn’t even a sellout. We hear about the spirit of rebellion in the air and Austin vs. Bret is discussed after the main event.

Godwinns vs. New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers

This is a four team elimination match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot the next night on Monday Night Raw. The Blackjacks are Bradshaw and Barry Windham, Furnas and LaFon are a Canadian team who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world and the Headbangers are….different. They wear skirts and slam into each other in what is considered dancing. Before the match the Blackjacks say they’re riding again (the original team hadn’t been around for about twenty years. Of note, Windham is the son of Blackjack Mulligan and Bradshaw is the nephew of Blackjack Lanza) in a quick interview.

It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect until it’s Henry vs. Bradshaw. The Godwinn get the better of it but Thrasher is quickly in, only to get planted with a pumphandle slam. Phineas comes in to beat on Thrasher even more before he tags out to Mosh, giving us Headbanger vs. Headbanger.

That goes nowhere so it’s off to Windham vs. Furnas (an incredible powerhouse) with the latter pulling off a hurricanrana, only to get caught in a powerslam for no cover. Bradshaw comes in and falls to the floor with Furnas but Bradshaw shoves the referee down for the DQ and an elimination. Furnas and LaFon are counted out as well, meaning it’s down to the Godwinns vs. the Headbangers.

Phineas works over throws Thrasher around and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. It’s back to Henry who is sent into the buckle, followed by an awkward exchange where Thrasher seemed to forget to raise his boot in the corner. Phineas comes in to spit in Thrasher’s face (which Vince says Phineas does to farm animals, much to Lawler’s confusion) but it’s quickly off to Mosh vs. Henry with the big man scoring with a Cactus Clothesline.

Mosh dives off the apron to take Henry down and this just keeps going. Commenting on the Headbangers’ attire, Lawler asks if Vince has any White Zombie CDs. Vince: “White……Zombie?” Back in and Thrasher misses a moonsault, allowing the tag to Phineas for some house cleaning. Thrasher breaks up the Slop Drop and Mosh hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin and the title shot at 10:39.

Rating: D. The wrestling was sloppy, the teams had no issues coming in and the double elimination felt really cheap. This was one of the worst possible ideas for an opening match as it started bad and never got any better. Just not a very good match as it went longer than it needed to and didn’t change the fact that this division is still lacking.

In Your House XIV ad.

Brian Pillman and Sunny tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Intercontinental Title: The Sultan vs. Rocky Maivia

Honky Tonk Man is out on commentary in his quest for a new protege. Rocky is defending (after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley to win the title a little over a month ago in a big upset) and Sultan is just a Middle Eastern monster played by the future Rikishi and managed by Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik. Rocky starts fast with some right hands and a dropkick to send Sultan out to the floor.

Sultan throws him into the post to take over as the crowd is noticeably not interested. Back in and a hard clothesline gets two on the champ and we’re in the nerve hold. Oh sweet goodness not this again. Honky Tonk says he’d have already won with the Shake Rattle and Roll and be in the back combing his hair. Sultan’s top rope headbutt gets two and it’s time for a chinlock.

The fans are rightfully bored and restless as this hold continues. Rocky makes his comeback with some open handed punches and a belly to belly for two as the fans still don’t seem interested. The high cross body (Rocky’s finisher) connects but Sheik has the referee. A great looking superkick (he always had a good one) takes the champ down and a piledriver gets two. Rocky comes right back with a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:43.

Rating: D-. This one was less bad and much more dull with the chinlock in the middle killing anything they could have gotten out of it. Rocky would of course get way better but he didn’t have a character or anywhere near the charisma that he would have in the future. That leaves you with a dull match against a one note challenger which isn’t something you want to do after a lame opener.

Post match Sultan, Sheik and Backlund destroy Rocky but his dad Rocky Johnson comes in for the save and house is cleaned.

Ken Shamrock, the former UFC Champion and the guest referee for the submission match, promises to not be intimidated.

Dok Hendrix (better known as Michael P.S. Hayes and with a very loud echo for some reason) asks Helmsley about his relationship with newcomer Chyna. Helmsley says Hendrix doesn’t need to know about it and tonight he’s taking Goldust out straight up. Marlena better be watching out too.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Helmsley has taken a major step up in the last year as he’s a lot more serious though still far away from what he would become. This started a few months ago when Helmsley made a pass at Marlena. Goldust went after Helmsley but Chyna debuted and attacked Marlena to continue the feud. Goldust is now good but still a bit out there as he crouches down and stares at Hunter before exploding with right hands. He makes sure to spit down at Chyna who as usual doesn’t flinch.

Helmsley gets clotheslined out to the floor as Lawler accuses Vince of wearing a toupee. More right hands are followed by a ram into the post and this is one sided so far. Hunter’s facebuster only gives him a temporary reprieve as Goldust scores with a nice powerslam. With all the momentum, Goldust goes up top but gets thrown down onto the floor in a huge crash to completely change momentum. Things slow way down as they should when the villain is in control and Goldust’s clothes are partially removed for the second year in a row.

Hunter puts on an abdominal stretch to slow things down even more as Marlena puffs on a cigar. Off to a chinlock with Helmsley’s arm not actually making contact with Goldust’s throat. A suplex gets two on Goldust and a DDT gets the same. Back up and Goldust’s comeback is stopped as they ram heads to make the match drag again. Goldust loads up the Curtain Call (reverse suplex slam) but Chyna goes after Marlena, allowing the Pedigree to put Goldust away at 13:17.

Rating: D+. I’ve never liked this match or feud but I guess it’s an improvement as they had a longer and worse match at the Royal Rumble. These two fought each other for the first half of 1997 and it never took off. Helmsley just wasn’t entertaining at this point as he had such a slow paced offense and Goldust wasn’t really the kind of person who was going to be able to help him to a new level here. It’s not a horrible match but it’s really boring, especially after an awful first hour.

Marc Mero and Sable pitch Wrestlemania shirts. Well ok it’s mainly Sable but Mero is there too.

Shawn Michaels can’t figure out AOL.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/Vader vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

All villains here. Hart and Bulldog are defending and Mankind and Vader have Paul Bearer in their corner after Bearer turned on Undertaker at Summerslam 1996. The champs have been having issues for months and Owen recently said he was smarter than Bulldog, who is also European Champion, having beaten Owen in a tournament final to become the inaugural champion.

Vader powers Owen into the corner to start and pummels him with right hands. A splash misses but Owen tries a hurricanrana and is easily powerbombed down. Heaven help this team if he’s the smarter one. Everything breaks down and Bulldog throws the challenger around before staying in to headbutt Mankind. Bulldog suplexes both of them in an awesome power display (he was always great at those) and we hit the chinlock on Mankind.

They head outside with Vader nailing Bulldog in the back of the head with the urn to take over. Now it’s Vader’s turn for a middle rope splash, followed by a running knee to the head from Mankind. Vader dives into a powerslam (a very common spot for him) and the tag brings in Owen, who the fans don’t cheer because he’s a heel. Hart avoids a sitdown splash and cross bodies Vader, only to run into a heavy clothesline to give the challengers control again. Owen gets beaten down in front of his parents in the front row and Lawler has a ball with his jokes.

Mankind blocks a splash with his knees as the announcers discuss the history of the WWF in this building, including a Wrestling Classic reference. A nice spinwheel kick puts Vader down to no response but he breaks up Owen’s tag attempt. Mankind follows Owen to the floor but charges into a belly to belly. The hot tag finally brings in Bulldog to clean house, even knocking Vader’s mask off. The powerslam is countered by the Mandible Claw though and they fall outside for the double countout at 16:04.

Rating: C-. That’s the best match of the night by far and it’s really more long than good. Mankind and Vader probably should have taken the titles here, even if it was just for a quick title reign before Owen and Bulldog got them back. They had held the titles for months now and it was time to freshen the division up a bit.

Mankind won’t let go of the hold for a bit but the challengers eventually leave, far too happy about a double countout draw.

We get a long recap of Hart vs. Austin. This is all about Austin having no respect for anything Bret Hart has done in the WWF and letting his venom flow through the company. Austin has been winning the mental game too as Bret has started completely snapping, going on hateful tirades about how everyone has screwed him over and how it’s everyone else that has changed. Bret’s entire legacy rides on him being able to defeat Steve Austin and regain the fans’ respect in this one match.

This is one of the greatest stories ever told in wrestling as the details (costing Bret the title, the Royal Rumble etc) are all secondary to the underlying theme: Bret being unable to hold on to the past and not accepting this new reality. Austin embodied the rebellious nature and it made for a perfect dynamic with the traditionalist Bret. As great as the stories were, the matches were even better and made the feud one of the best ever.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Submission match with Ken Shamrock refereeing. Austin has a famous entrance as a wall of glass saying AUSTIN 3:16 breaks and he walks through the broken pieces. The fans are split here but it seems to be more pro-Bret coming in. They slug it out to start and are on the floor very quickly. Austin is sent face first into the post but he crotches Bret across the barricade and clotheslines him into the crowd.

Bret gets whipped into some hockey boards but he fights back and they head deeper into the fans. A backdrop gets Bret out of a piledriver as you can barely see anything at the moment. Back to ringside with Bret in control and the fans completely into something for the first time all night. Austin reverses a whip to send Bret into the steps but Hart grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather back inside.

Vince is already treating Bret like the heel on commentary, wondering what kind of excuse Bret will have if he loses. It’s time to work on Austin’s eternally damaged knee with a leg snap and some cannonballs off the ropes. He misses another cannonball though and Austin grabs the Stunner out of nowhere. No covers though so Bret gets up and kicks the knee out again.

The Figure Four around the post has Austin screaming but he doesn’t give up. Lawler: “Bret can twist that leg until it looks like the Chicago White Sox’s Robin Ventura but Austin won’t submit.” Bret grabs a chair but can’t Pillmanize the leg, allowing Austin to get in a great chair shot to knock Hart off the top. The fans are losing it for Austin here and you can see the future right in front of your eyes.

Austin’s middle rope elbow, complete with two middle fingers, has Bret in even more trouble. JR is on fire here as he talks about how this is all about respect and emotion instead of covering a bald spot (shot at Hogan) or your reputation. Unfortunately Vince is there to bring it back down to dull, unemotional commentary that sounds like a high school chemistry teacher trying to be funny.

Austin goes for a submission by laying on his back, wrapping his leg around Bret’s head and pulling back on his arm (it’s hard to put into words) before going for a standard Boston crab, only to have Hart make it to the ropes. Austin can’t get a Sharpshooter on Bret (Lawler: “Wouldn’t that be great? Seeing Bret submit to the Sharpshooter?” Vince: “Hey, it could happen.”) so he sends him outside instead. A hard whip sends Austin into the barricade, wiping out a bunch of commentators and busting him open.

Bret sends him into other metal objects and sweet goodness Austin is spewing blood. Hart pounds away on the cut and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. That’s enough wrestling though and Bret starts driving the chair into Austin’s bad knee. JR again goes into his full on excitement mode before Bret hammers away in the corner. Austin isn’t interested in wrestling either and kicks Bret low. The fans are right back into this and Austin is fired up. He stomps one heck of a mudhole in the corner, flips Bret off, and stomps him again.

A nice superplex plants Bret again and Austin chokes him with an electrical cord, only to have Bret grab the bell to knock Austin out. That’s a very nice callback to Wrestlemania VIII where Piper wouldn’t give into the demons but Bret easily did. The Sharpshooter goes on and the blood is flowing out of Austin’s head in one of the most famous shots in wrestling (As Austin would later say on his podcast: “That’s an image that sold a lot of t-shirts.”). A loud Austin chant starts up and he powers out of the hold as the blood drips down between his teeth but Bret gets it back on and Austin passes out to end the match at 22:03.

Rating: A+. Good grief this match is amazing. This is the match that turned Austin into the biggest star of all time and the moment where the WWF had the Monday Night Wars won. It would take time, but Austin was clearly going to be the hottest thing ever and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

That’s the key to the whole match and a great piece of symbolism: Bret could not stop Austin and only slowed him down. No matter what Bret did, he couldn’t make Austin quit, even after he gave in to the dark side. This is on the short list for the greatest match of all time and certainly one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever. In case you somehow haven’t seen this, go out of your way to watch it at some point because it’s one of the best and most important matches of all time.

Bret is still livid and stomps away even more until Shamrock (who wasn’t a factor in the match) breaks it up and offers to fight. Hart leaves and is booed out of the building as Austin has pulled himself to the corner. Austin pulls his way up and Stuns the referee for trying to help him. He very slowly limps to the back with no help, receiving thunderous cheers from the crowd. A star has been born and everyone knows it. Even the announcers put him over as the toughest man they’ve ever seen.

The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, Savio Vega and Crush plus an army of unnamed men, many of whom were actors there to make the Nation look even bigger. That’s actually a very smart idea and not something I’ve seen since.) promises that it’s going to be a fight against the Legion of Doom and Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed had feuded with the Nation for months now and this is one of their many showdowns.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and the Nation has brought out a bunch of weapons to use. Ahmed has a 2×4 and Hawk brings a kitchen sink for the sake of completeness. The LOD seems even more fired up than usual to be in their hometown. It’s a brawl to start of course and thankfully there are no tags required here. The good guys clean house to start and the yet to be named D’Lo Brown, JC Ice and Wolfie D. (the rappers who perform the Nation’s theme song) are slammed down to the floor.

Ahmed dives over the barricade to take Crush out as this is rapidly turning into a match that is impossible to call. Hawk swings a 2×4 at Savio but hits the ropes, sending the board into the air, only to have Hawk make a nice catch to send Savio running again. Animal tries to piledrive Faarooq through the French announcers’ table but they fall to the side instead. Instead Animal sprays him with a fire extinguisher and things slow down a bit until Ahmed slams Faarooq through the French table.

Animal beats the fire out of Savio with a trashcan but the fire extinguisher goes off again to blind everyone. The Nation puts a noose around Ahmed’s throat to hang him over the ropes but Hawk comes back with a double clothesline. Faarooq tries to choke Hawk with the noose until he gets pulled off the top rope for a big crash. The brawling continues until Crush gets caught in a quick Doomsday Device, followed by a 2×4 shot to give Animal the pin at 10:43.

Rating: B. It’s the definition of a garbage brawl but these guys beat the fire out of each other the entire time and gave us one heck of an entertaining brawl, especially in the death slot after the submission match. This was really fun and that’s all it needed to be with the fans going nuts over seeing the LOD dominant and violent one more time.

JC Ice and Wolfie D. take a double Doomsday Device after the match.

In Your House XIV ad.

There’s no recap for the main event but there isn’t much of a story to tell. Sid took the title from Bret when Austin interfered and Undertaker has been in the title hunt for a long time now. This was originally going to be Bret taking the title from Shawn to get his win back from last year but Shawn lost his smile just in time for the match to not take place. That’s very convenient no?

Shawn Michaels comes out for commentary, taking his sweet time to soak in all the cheers.

Sid says he isn’t scared of the darkness.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

Sid is defending and gets the very cool name in lights fireworks display. The bell rings and here’s Bret Hart (Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful about not being in the main event.”) to insult Shawn for faking an injury, tell Undertaker that they’re no longer friends, and tell Sid that he’s a fraud as champion. Sid just smiles and powerbombs Bret before telling the crybaby to hop along. There’s a second bell and we’re ready to go.

Undertaker pounds away to start and hits an early Old School, only to get caught in a bearhug. The hold stays on for nearly two minutes as Lawler and Michaels bicker for a bit. Shawn asks if you can actually squeeze the life out of Undertaker. Sid boots Undertaker in the face and kicks him over the announcers’ table as this is dragging along.

A slam turns the table over but Undertaker is right back to his feet and they go inside with Vince mentioning that this was turned into a No DQ match earlier today. Not that it really matters but that’s three straight No DQ matches to end the show. Sid pulls back on a camel clutch as Shawn gets in a perfect analysis by saying Sid doesn’t deviate from the power because it takes him everywhere he needs to go. That’s such a perfect lesson that so many people don’t understand.

Sid gets two off a powerslam and the frustration is setting in. Shawn: “Better pound on him some more.” They go outside again with Sid being knocked over the barricade so Undertaker can punch him in the face. Back in and we hit a bad chinlock (read as Undertaker is laying on his back with Sid’s hands on his face) until Undertaker fights up with a powerslam for two.

Now it’s Undertaker with a nerve hold as the crowd is getting restless again. Back up and it’s a double big boot to put both of them down. A middle rope clothesline (more like a fist) gets two for the champ but Undertaker punches him out of the air on the next attempt. Now it’s Undertaker going up top for a clothesline for two of his own. Sid reverses the Tombstone into one of his own but even the arm fold cover gets two.

They go outside for the third time and here’s Bret again to blast Sid in the back with a chair. Back in and a chokeslam gets two for Undertaker but he misses a running clothesline. Sid sets for the powerbomb until Bret comes down AGAIN (Shawn: “Doesn’t he get tired of getting beat up?”) and snaps Sid across the top rope, setting up the Tombstone to give Undertake the title at 23:54.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here and the match was a disaster most of the time. Sid isn’t made to go this long and it made for one heck of a bad match. The Bret stuff got annoying in a hurry but at least he was more interesting than either guy out there. Undertaker winning is definitely the right call as Sid was pretty much gone after this and Undertaker could at least do some entertaining things with the right opponent. That’s not the case here though and the match was a disaster.

Undertaker poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. There’s a really good stretch of about forty five minutes in there that was on fire but this isn’t a forty five minute show. So much of this was spent on matches that didn’t feel important or didn’t give me a reason to care. What changed here other than the World Title? Rocky retains in a lame match, the Tag Team Titles go to a double countout and we need to watch tomorrow to find out what happens with the Headbangers?

Much like Wrestlemania IX, this didn’t feel like a Wrestlemania. If this was any other show during the year, the results would have been much better. Unfortunately, as has been the case multiple times, this was the biggest show of the year and the card didn’t live up to the standard. This isn’t a good show but that’s a very common problem around this time, which is why business was in such a bad place here.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/22/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiii-austins-ascension/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

There’s a very strong case that this is the night where the Attitude Era began. I’m not sure if that’s the case but it beats almost anything else for second place. The alleged main event here is Sid defending the world title against Undertaker but in reality it’s Austin vs. Hart in a battle of the generations in a submission match. The match is a dark horse candidate for the greatest match of all time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the tradition of Wrestlemania but mentions that there’s a new force in the company. It’s not a person but rather an attitude of vengeance and a lack of respect.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

In Your House ad.

CALL THE HOTLINE!!!

Honky Tonk Man is here, still looking for his new protege. He’ll be doing commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Maivia is defending. Sultan is more famous as Rikishi and has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik in his corner. Lawler tells Honky not to pick Rocky for his protege because there’s no future there. So much for the Memphis school system. Rocky starts off fast and knocks Sultan out to the floor. The managers try to calm the big man down but Rocky goes after him, only to wind up clotheslining the post.

Back in and Sultan runs him over with a clothesline of his own. He throws Rocky into the corner by the throat and hits another clothesline for two. Off to a nerve hold as Honky rants about how he already would have defended the title and been in the back combing his hair. Sultan goes up and hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. So we have a Samoan portraying an Arabian but hitting a headbutt to another Samoan. I’m so racially confused.

Rocky tries a sunset flip but Sultan grabs him by the throat to block. A belly to belly gets two and we hit the chinlock. The fans are very restless with this and rightly think it’s boring. Rocky fights up but they clothesline each other to stop things from getting interesting. Sultan starts pounding away again but Rocky starts feeling the soul and makes his comeback.

Maivia snaps off some punches to Sultan and gets two off a belly to belly suplex. The spinning DDT that Rocky doesn’t use anymore puts Sultan down and there’s his top rope cross body (finisher at the time) but the Sheik has the referee. Sultan gets up and hits a superkick for a very close two. A piledriver gets another two count for Sultan but Rocky grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. This got better by the end but man alive was it dull for the most part. It just kept going and Sultan didn’t have enough enough to make a match like this work. Rocky would get WAY better and the jump he’s made since Survivor Series to this point is remarkable. The fans would start to hate him though, which wound up being exactly what he needed all along.

Post match Rocky is doing an interview with JR when Sultan jumps him from behind. Sheik, Sultan and Backlund all beat on Maivia until Rocky Johnson, Rocky’s dad, comes in to help fight them off. Cool moment but I don’t think most people knew who Johnson was.

Ken Shamrock, the guest referee in the submission match, says that he’ll call it down the middle. He’s here because he’s a submission master, which he actually was as a former UFC World Champion.

Doc Hendrix (with a LOUD echo on his mic) is with HHH and Chyna. HHH doesn’t think his relationship with Chyna is any of Doc’s business.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

This feud just kept GOING for months on end. Goldust crouches down and does his mind game schtick before pounding away on HHH. This is a very personal rivalry apparently. What the rivalry is about isn’t important enough to explain. Goldie pounds away in the corner and hits a fast atomic drop before sending HHH to the floor. HHH is on the apron so Goldust can slide under the ropes and hit his uppercut.

Now the not yet Game is tied up in the ropes with his feet dangling over the floor. After he’s freed, Goldust clotheslines him back inside but gets caught in the facebuster to slow things down. That doesn’t last long though as Goldust powerslams HHH down and goes up top. HHH comes back though and crotches the gold one before sending him off the top and face first into the apron.

Back in and HHH is in control, ripping open Goldust’s clothes to chop at the bare chest. A hard whip into the other corner puts Goldust down again and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by HHH which goes off to an arm trap chinlock. Helmsley grabs a few covers but can’t keep Goldust down for three. Goldie comes back with a near low blow and an uppercut to the face.

Not that any of that matters though as HHH comes right back with a suplex and knee drop for two. Goldust is like MOVIE REFERENCES and chops away in the corner but HHH knocks him right back down. A small package gets two for Goldust but HHH takes over again almost immediately. Goldie comes back with a cross body for two but they hit head to head to put both guys down. HHH goes up top but jumps into a flying…shall we say hip attack from Goldust to put him back down.

Chyna keeps staring at the ring without moving much more than her eyes. HHH misses a charge into the corner and gets put down by a backdrop. Goldust’s bulldog gets two as Chyna starts walking around the ring. HHH escapes the Curtain Call (reverse suplex) but Goldust counters the counter into a slingshot. He loads up the Curtain Call again but sees Chyna near Marlena. Marlena jumps up on the apron but Goldust is knocked into her, sending Marlena into Chyna’s arms. The Pedigree ends Goldie quickly.

Rating: C-. This was higher quality but it was still dull stuff. This was a REALLY bad period for HHH as he wasn’t having interesting matches and wasn’t in DX yet to let him be funny either. That combines to make him like a 12 year old hitting on girls: awkward, not interesting, and more laughable than effective. Nothing to see here, as usual with these two.

Shawn Michaels tries to figure out AOL.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

Owen/Bulldog are defending and have to deal with Paul Bearer managing the challengers. JR tries to cause trouble among the tag champions by asking Bulldog if he’s mad over Owen saying he’s smarter than Bulldog. Bulldog is also European Champion here, having beaten Owen for it a few weeks ago in a masterpiece. Owen and Vader start things off with the Canadian getting pounded down into the corner by the monster.

Hart tries to speed things up and actually takes Vader down with a spinwheel kick. A cross body is easily caught though and a rana is countered into a powerbomb. The idea here is that Vader and Mankind could have problems with Bulldog but they can beat up Owen with relative ease. Vader loads up the Bomb which draws in Bulldog and Mankind. Bulldog clotheslines the monsters down and Owen dropkicks them both down to one up his partner.

It’s Bulldog vs. Mankind now with the Brit stomping away in the corner. There’s the delayed vertical but Vader won’t even let Bulldog cover. Bulldog casually slams/suplexes Vader down to show off a little bit. It’s back to Mankind vs. Bulldog with Mankind being put in a chinlock. Mankind fights up and throws him to the floor where Bearer hands him the Urn. Bulldog trips him down though to avoid the shot, only to have Vader get the Urn and blast Bulldog in the back of the head to shift control.

Back in and Vader hits a suplex on Bulldog for two before pounding away in the corner. A corner splash crushes the British one and a middle rope splash (regular, not Vader Bomb style) only gets two. That’s a surprise and it earns a Bulldog chant. Mankind comes in but can’t get the Mandible Claw on. Instead he pounds Bulldog down into the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Instead of covering, Mankind goes to the floor and screams a bit. You know, because that’s what he does.

Vader runs Bulldog over again but as he goes up, Bulldog flips him over in a kind of release slam. Back to Owen who comes in with a missile dropkick to take Vader back down. A top rope cross body gets two but Vader CRUSHES him with a standing body block. The challengers hit a kind of Demolition Decapitator off the apron to the floor. That move put Rick Martel out for about seven months in 1988 but here it keeps Owen down for about six seconds. Now THAT is toughness.

Stu and Helen are in the front row as Mankind chokes away at Owen. Back in and Owen grabs a DDT out of desperation but a splash hits knees to slow him down again. Mankind charges at Owen but they hit heads to put both guys down. We actually hear about The Wrestling Classic for no apparent reason. Vader comes back in to box Owen’s ears but Hart escapes a suplex and hits a quick spin kick for two. Out to the floor again where Owen hits a quick belly to belly on Mankind before they head back inside.

The enziguri puts Mankind down and there’s the hot tag to Bulldog. Vader loses his mask as Bulldog beats on both challengers. Mankind is still legal and gets whipped HARD into the corner. There’s the powerslam but Mankind grabs the Claw to escape. Everything breaks down and Mankind and Bulldog go to the floor. Mankind puts on the Claw and it’s a double countdown.

Rating: B-. That might be overrating it but after an hour of boring stuff, this was a nice breath of air. The story here was shaky but it worked well enough all things considered. I’m not sure why this match happened as I don’t remember any build up to it at all and with a #1 contenders match earlier in the night, I really don’t get why this match happened. Still though, not bad stuff.

Mankind refuses to let go of the hold.

We recap Bret vs. Austin which is the real main event of this show. So Bret was all awesome and such but after losing the title at Wrestlemania last year, Bret took six months off to whine. Then he came back and felt that he kept getting screwed over by everyone from Shawn to Austin to Vince (nah that could never happen). Austin was leading the charge of disrespect by saying Bret was just a crybaby anymore. This led to a masterpiece between Austin and Bret that made everyone realize Austin was for real and the next big thing.

Hart barely won but he kept snapping and even hit Pat Patterson, the symbol of respect and tradition. This led to the Royal Rumble where Bret had the match won and eliminated Austin, only to have Austin sneak back in and win the match. A month later Bret won the vacant world title, only to have Austin cost him the belt the next night on Raw. This all led up to here and a submission match with the theme of a submission master vs. a guy that will not quit.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

This is a submission match and Ken Shamrock is guest referee. Austin has actual glass shatter as he enters which is rather cool. He gets cheered but Bret gets something resembling a mixed reaction. Austin tackles him down to start and the fight is on immediately. They head to the floor with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Austin gets posted but he manages to crotch Bret on the barricade. Bret gets clotheslined into the crowd as this is all action so far.

Bret gets in a few shots in the audience and Shamrock is right with them. Presumably this is falls count anywhere. Bret gets in a solid right hand but Austin grabs him for a piledriver. Hart counters with a backdrop and they head back towards the ring. Back to ringside and Bret dives off the barricade with a forearm to the back. Austin comes right back by whipping Hart into the steps to put him down again.

Steve hits a forearm off the apron before picking up the steps. Bret kicks him in the ribs though and the steps might have crushed Austin’s leg. As they get back in the ring (remember that thing?) Bret guillotines Austin on the top rope to take over again. Bret cranks on the leg and cannonballs down on it ala Flair. More cranking ensues and Hart wants him to get up. Bret misses another cannonball and Austin ERUPTS with a clothesline to put both guys down.

We get some foreshadowing by Lawler when he says you can’t give up when you’re unconscious. Hart comes back with a kick to the leg and throws on the Figure Four around the post. Bret goes to get the bell but switches over to a chair. That one has too much padding on it though so he gets a regular chair to Pillmanize the ankle with. The fans are getting WAY into this. Bret goes up top but Austin crotches him and CRACKS him with the chair.

Another big chair shot to the back sets up a suplex as Hart is in big trouble all of a sudden. A middle rope elbow from Austin hits Bret as JR is in full on JR mode, including a few jabs at WCW (“This isn’t about posing or covering a bald spot!”). Austin this another Bret move in the Russian legsweep followed by a reverse Koji Clutch (as in he cranks on the arm while wrapping his leg around Bret’s head. That’s a bit too complicated for Austin though so there’s a Boston Crab instead.

Bret makes a rope because in a war like this, let’s make sure we follow the rules. Austin loads up a Sharpshooter (he has no idea how to get it on) but Austin escapes. Steve fires him through the ropes and to the floor. Bret comes back and reverses a whip into the barricade while running over a few people in the process. Austin is bleeding and it’s a GUSHER. Bret sends him into the steps and pounds away at the cut as we head back inside.

Hart pounds away even harder at Austin’s forehead before hitting the Five Moves of Doom. Bret gets the chair as Vince says this is becoming too much to watch. Hart drives the chair into the leg over and over again but he can’t get the Sharpshooter again. The mat is covered in blood. Austin comes back with a low blow but he can barely stand up. He whips Bret chest first into the corner and here comes the Rattlesnake. Austin stomps the mudhole in Bret and the double bird gets a big reaction from the fans.

Austin puts Bret on top and superplexes him back down. You can’t see Austin’s forehead from all the blood. Since nothing else works, Austin goes to the floor and gets the electrical cable to choke Bret out. Hart grabs the bell from somewhere though and blasts Austin in the head, knocking him silly. Now the Sharpshooter goes on and the place goes NUTS. Austin’s head is on the mat and you can see the blood pooling up under him. That is SICK.

The crowd starts chanting for Austin and we get one of the most famous shot in company history as Austin screams into the camera with blood flowing down his face. He gets one last rush of adrenaline to push up and break the Sharpshooter for the first time ever. Well kind of as he gets Bret off his back but couldn’t break the grip. Bret gets the hold back on but Austin will not quit. Austin is out cold and Shamrock finally stops it. Austin never gave up.

Rating: A+. This is the highest rating a match can get. If there was a higher rating, this match would get that. This is one of the greatest wars you will ever see in a ring with some of the greatest storytelling you’ll ever see either. The idea of Bret being taken out of his element, only to get sucked into Austin’s world where he reaches a point that he’s never been to before but it’s STILL not enough to stop Austin is amazing and works to this day. The key point here: Hart could not stop Austin. He could only slow him down. Absolutely amazing and if you haven’t seen this, go find it right now. Seriously, go watch it now. It’s excellent.

Post match Bret is disgusted with himself but looks at Austin’s lifeless body and gets mad all over again for not being able to make Austin quit. Bret goes after the leg again but Shamrock grabs him and hooks a kind of suplex to get Hart off. Shamrock says let’s go if you want to but Bret backs down and leaves. The fans GO OFF on Bret as Austin is trying to remember what planet he’s on. A referee comes out to check on him and gets a Stunner for his troubles. Austin walks out on his own power and gets a well deserved standing ovation. And that my friends, is a double turn.

Amazingly enough, Bret vs. Austin was only just beginning. The next five months would be even more insane with perhaps an even better match blowing it off. Now let THAT sink in for a minute. This is still one of the few matches that has an actual impact on me and I get WAY into it every time I see it.

Why aren’t you watching this match right now? I’m tempted to watch it again.

Faarooq and the Nation say the criminals are out tonight in Chicago and they’re ready for the LOD and Ahmed in the Chicago street fight.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

It’s Crush/Faarooq/Savio Vega plus a bunch of unnamed lackeys forming the Nation at this point. They bring out every weapon you could think of for this match between about the nine people they have here. Ahmed has the spikes on too and they bring the kitchen sink with them. Ok point for a funny idea. It’s a big brawl to start (and will continue to be that way) with the good guys beating up the lackeys.

Faarooq hits Animal in the back with a nightstick and Ahmed hits a big dive over the barricade to take out I think Savio. I’m not going to be able to call everything here so expect a lot to be missed. Ahmed crushes Crush with a trashcan as Hawk has a 2×4 to stalk Savio with. Animal tries a piledriver on Faarooq through a table but they just fall off to the side instead. The fans chant for the LOD and Animal blasts Faarooq with a fire extinguisher. Savio cleans house with a trashcan but gets it wrapped around him and blasted by Hawk.

Ahmed slams Faarooq through the table from earlier and there goes the fire extinguisher again. Now we get a big rope with a noose on it to hang Ahmed. The Nation is too big and powerful for LOD and Ahmed to fight off. Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to Jerry’s shock. It was an actual wrestling move! Ahmed gets out of the noose and beats up D-Lo Brown for a bit. Animal hits Faarooq with a parking sign as Savio throws Ahmed over the barricade.

Crush finds a wrench from somewhere to blast Animal with as Faarooq is pulled to the floor by the rope. They’re clearly starting to get tired now. Hawk sprays the Nation down with the extinguisher again but the lackeys save Faarooq from the Pearl River Plunge. Crush gets caught in the Doomsday Device out of nowhere before getting hit by a 2×4 for the pin.

Rating: B-. You know what, why not. This was a FIGHT and it worked quite well. They didn’t try to make this anything but a street fight and that’s what they gave us. This wasn’t good or quality or anything but it was certainly fun and exactly what it was advertised as. Good stuff here and the second best match of the night so far.

Post match D’Lo (not yet named) takes the Pearl River Plunge and the small white guys (PG-13) take a double Doomsday Device to pop the crowd HUGE.

Here’s Shawn Michaels to do commentary on the main event. This was when he had a “knee injury”, which had a bad case of Idon’twanttoreturnthejobtoBretsoI’llsayI’mhurtandnotlosetohimlikeamanwould-itis.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

This is because Sid won the title and Undertaker is getting a title shot for…..no reason that I can remember at all actually. He was just kind of thrown in there to get the title off Sid with no real explanation. Sid gives his usual insane promo about how he’s going to retain the title because he’s not scared. For the first time ever, we hear that Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania. Sid’s pyro of his name in lights is awesome.

Just after the bell, here’s Bret Hart. Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful.” Bret yells at Shawn for having a fake injury and losing his smile. He then says that he and Undertaker are no longer friends. As for Sid, he’s a fraud because the belt belongs to Bret. Thankfully Sid hits Bret in the face and powerbombs him (Shawn: “And now you’re getting beaten up because of your big mouth.). Taker jumps Sid from behind and we get another bell to officially start the match.

Sid throws him into the corner to start but charges into a big boot. Taker hits a kind of splash in the corner followed by a slam for two. Old School hits Sid but Taker charges into a bearhug. The bearhug stays on for a long time as you would expect it to. These two have 22 minutes for this match and that’s a recipe for disaster. Sid finally kicks Undertaker to the floor and then over the French announce table for good measure.

Apparently this is no holds barred according to Gorilla. Sid drops him on the table and almost breaks it in the process. Back in and Sid pounds away at the back even more before hooking a camel clutch. Jerry: “How do you kill a dead man?” Vince: “You don’t have to. You just have to pin him for three seconds.” Point to Vince I guess. Sid hits a powerslam but can only get three two’s in a row.

A big leg gets two for Sid but Taker comes back with the flying clothesline for two. They head to the floor where Sid is thrown over the barricade. That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a horrible chinlock by the champion. Taker fights up and hits a powerslam for two before putting on a nerve hold of his own. A clothesline puts Sid back down for two as Taker is looking tired.

They hit big boots at the same time to put each other down. Sid goes to the middle rope for an ax handle and thankfully keeps his leg intact. A kind of middle rope clothesline/punch to the face gets two for the champion but here comes the Dead Man. Sid slams him down and goes up top, only to be crotched and slammed down. Undertaker hits a top rope clothesline for two more as the match FINALLY picks up a bit. Taker loads up the Tombstone but gets reversed into a tombstone by Sid for two.

We head back to the floor again but here’s Bret Hart to smack Sid in the back with a chair. Referees and officials come out to throw Bret out as Sid is rammed back first into the post. Back inside we go again and it’s a chokeslam for a VERY close two. They botch what might have been the flying clothesline as Sid ducks down, sending Taker flying. Here comes the powerbomb but Bret interferes AGAIN. The distraction lets Taker hit the Tombstone for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull stuff and Bret got annoying after about his second interference. Granted that’s the idea, but he was still annoying. On top of that, the match was WAY too much sitting around and doing nothing with all of the rest holds and other general standing around based activities. Sid was pretty much gone for good after this.

Undertaker celebrates for awhile as Shawn sucks up to him.

Overall Rating: D+. This certainly isn’t the worse Wrestlemania but it’s also not a good show by any real stretch. The main problem here is that it felt like any other PPV rather than a major show other than the Bret vs. Austin match. On top of that, the main event sucks pretty hard. It wasn’t entertaining and Undertaker wound up being a terrible champion. He couldn’t even main event his own PPV the next month. Anyway, bad show but DEFINITELY see Austin vs. Hart, even if you have before.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

Redo: C-

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 13
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont (Chicago), Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: N/A

The company was severely on the ropes at this point with WCW and the NWO running rampant in WCW. The company was still putting on everything they could think of to keep up in the ratings but at this point it just wasn’t working at all. The television shows weren’t to the levels of the Attitude Era that we remember but they were coming fast.

This show more than any other was the launching pad for the Attitude Era but I’ll get to that when the time is right. The main event for this show is the Undertaker vs. Sid for the title, despite the fact that Steve Austin won the Rumble. This one is a bit complicated but here we go. Austin was eliminated by Hart in the Rumble but came back in without the referees seeing him.

He eventually put Hart and the rest out to win the match and the title shot. That same night, Shawn won the WWF Title back from Sid but had to vacate it due to “losing his smile” (more on that later). This led to a four way match at In Your House between Taker, Vader, Austin and Hart who were the last four men in the Rumble. The next night, Bret defended against Sid, losing due to Austin interfering.

A few weeks later there was a cage rematch, before which Austin and Hart were scheduled for a submission match at Mania. Taker interfered to help Sid, hoping to get a title match at Mania. Austin interfered, hoping to get Hart the title so he would defend it in the I Quit Match. Taker got his wish and the title match with Sid who won the cage match. That all brings us here, so let’s get to it.The show is presented by Playstation. That’s never go anywhere.

The opening video is about how there is an anger growing in the company that has messed up a lot of things recently. That would ultimately be called Attitude. No real opening other than that and it’s time for our opening match.

Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks vs. Godwins vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

This is under elimination rules and the winners get the tag champions tomorrow on Raw. Headbangers were the guys that wore skirts, the Blackjacks were Justin “Don’t call me JBL just yet” Bradshaw and Barry “I had a career once” Windham, the Godwinns you know and Furnas and LaFon were a team that were just kind of around but never did much. They were more famous in ECW and Japan. Not bad, just not great.

Two guys in the ring at once and anyone can tag anyone. We get a quick clip of the original Blackjacks and the new ones say they’re awesome. It’s a big brawl to start of course thanks to the Blackjacks. Henry Godwin and Bradshaw start us off. Bradshaw hasn’t even been able to get his vest off yet. Ah there it goes.

One of the Headbangers in now against Phineas. This is a bit of a mess so far. Now it’s time for the Headbangers to explode but instead they dance a bit. Not as good as Too Cool but they’re trying at least. LaFon comes in and after a bit of a beating for him it’s off to…I think that’s Windham. Furnas comes in and gets a rana for two.

This is going all over the place and it’s hard to get into for the most part. Some Blackjack double teaming results in a suplex for Furnas over the top to the floor. Furnas/LaFon and the Blackjacks get into a brawl on the floor and I think it’s a DQ for the Blackjacks for shoving a ref and Furnas/LaFon are counted out.

It’s down to the Godwins and the Headbangers for the #1 contender spot. This turns into a regular tag match between two teams the feuded for what felt like forever and never got anywhere at all. Henry vs. Thrasher at the moment. Vince clearly doesn’t know which Headbanger is which and it’s kind of funny. Oh and Hillbilly Jim is the manager of the Godwins.

Phineas and Thrasher spit on each other a few times as Vince implies bestiality between Phineas and a few farm animals. Lawler calls Vince out of that and Ross of course talks about food. Mosh beats on Henry a bit and gets a nice springboard clothesline to Henry on the floor. To top that Mosh pops back up onto the apron and we get a Rocket Launcher to send Thrasher onto Henry on the floor.

Jerry asks Vince about White Zombie. Apparently Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonalds. Ok a point there for a funny line. Thrasher misses a moonsault off the top and here come Phineas and Mosh again. Phineas cleans house and there goes Thrasher. Most breaks up the Slop Drop and it’s a big brawl. Mosh gets a top rope seated senton to Phineas to end it out of nowhere. They would lose the next night.

Rating: D+. This was ok, but that’s it. Having two teams go out that fast just didn’t work at all and this might as well have been the Godwinns against the Headbangers. Not terrible, but not great at all. The tag division was a total and complete mess at this point and it didn’t get any better for a few years and then it died completely for the most part.

Brian Pillman and Sunny talk about the WWF Hotline.

Honky Tonk Man joins us on commentary as he continues to look for his protégé. JR says that he and Lawler look like cousins (they really are.) Joke for insiders there. Obviously, Honky is here for the IC Title Match.

Lou Albano and Arnold Skaaland are in the front row.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Rocky Maivia would drop the y Maivia and add a The, becoming far more famous. Sultan is more commonly known as Rikishi and is famous in his own right. At this point, Rock is still a very nervous rookie but he won the future award or something like that the previous night at the Slammys, so the people knew he had it in him. For no apparent reason, Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik are managing Sultan here.

No one, I mean NO ONE, cares about Rocky at this point. Tony Atlas, Rocky’s dad’s former tag partner is here. Honky is looking for a perfect champion or something like that. Rocky is a nervous wreck it seems. He hammers on Sultan which gets him nowhere. Rocky can nip-up which is always cool to see. Sweet goodness how big of a push did both of these guys get in the future?

We head to the floor and Rocky clotheslines the post to give Sultan control. Honky goes into a big rant about how you can’t make mistakes when you’re the champion. That’s very funny considering who Honky is. Clothesline gets two for Sultan and we hit the nerve hold. Honky says he’d already have won the match and be in the dressing room combing his hair. He’s rather funny at this indeed.

Rocky tries to get something going but runs into a knee. Top rope headbutt by Sultan puts Rocky down even longer. One handed cover gets two. Rocky gets a sunset flip but Sultan chokes away instead. Belly to belly by the future Samoan gets two. This is painfully boring by the way. We hit the chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match.

Make that a LONG chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match. Here’s the comeback and it’s a double clothesline. Are they just not wanting this show to be interesting at all? Rocky hammers away and doesn’t do much else. A slam gets two. Rocky’s offense is painfully limited at this point. Maivia Hurricane (Spinning DDT) gets two and Rocky goes up top.

Cross body connects but there’s no referee due to the Sheik. Rocky goes back at Sultan and gets his head kicked off in a nice shot. Naturally it only gets two because an Arabian character can’t win anything in this era of course. Rocky gets one of the worst rollups I’ve ever seen to end this awful match.

Rating: D. How could a Rock match be this boring? This was completely awful and just boring beyond believe. Sultan was somehow less interesting than he would be as heel Rikishi which I didn’t think was possible. Rocky was getting there in the ring but the crowd HATED this gimmick he had so thankfully The Rock was born soon after. Anyway, awful match.

Post match the evildoers do evil and beat down Rocky until the other Rocky, Johnson in this case, comes in to save his son in a moment that is supposed to be charming I think but just extends this already bad segment.

The previous night’s Slammies are recapped.

Ken Shamrock, in this case not a wrestler yet, is the referee for the submission match later on and won’t be intimidated by either guy. He showed what he could do against Billy Gunn. He was a UFC star at the time so this was a big cross promotion thing. He had been what would become the world champion of UFC less than a year ago, so this would be like Randy Couture showing up. Big deal indeed.

HHH says he’s going to destroy Goldust. Chyna is with him and she has NO chest at all.

HHH vs. Goldust

The main point here is that HHH has Chyna who no one knows anything about. She’s supposed to be opposed by Marlena. Think about how this is going to go. HHH had been hitting on Marlena around this time and Goldust wasn’t happy. There’s your backstory. HHH’s music is just freaking sweet for a wrestling theme. When Goldust had his mind right he was a very good worker. Sadly enough that doesn’t happen often.

It’s weird to see Chyna this…manly looking. Yes somehow the more famous version of her was the girly one. Goldie goes into his crouch to start and comes out with the clothesline to get us going. Atomic drop and a clothesline to HHH sends him to the floor. Jerry makes fun of Goldie’s hair and says that Vince has a wig. Vince implies he wears a toupee which has always been a point of uncertainty.

HHH gets tied up in the ropes and it’s all Goldust to start us off here. The future Game can’t get anything going and walks into a powerslam after his tiny bit of offense. Goldust goes up but HHH makes the stop. He sets for a suplex but instead throws him over the ropes and down to the floor where his face hits the apron. Nearly a FREAKING OW MAN moment but not quite.

Helmsley starts to loosen Goldust’s jumpsuit to get better chops in. Why does Goldie’s clothing always come off at Mania? King makes fun of Chyna as HHH takes over completely here. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which was invented by someone named Wilbur Snyder apparently. This show is staying boring for a very long time and it’s not good.

We’re about 45 minutes into this and there hasn’t been a good match yet. Good thing one of the best matches of all time is coming. HHH gets a Flair knee drop for two. Small package from Goldust for two. HHH takes him right back down with a clothesline. Goldust can’t get a slam but can get a cross body for two. And now they hit heads to waste some more time.

HHH tries to go up top but Goldust gets a flying shot to HHH to take him down. Why do I think that’s something the Ambiguously Gay Duo uses as a double team move. HHH eats buckle and Goldust hammers away. Bulldog takes HHH down. Chyna moves for the first time all match, going after Marlena. Goldust has the Curtain Call but has to save Marlena. HHH knocks into Goldust which knocks Marlena into Chyna. Pedigree FINALLY ends this.

Rating: D. This went on nearly 15 minutes. This was far too long and far too boring. We’re almost an hour into this show and there hasn’t been a single good match in sight. Terribly boring match and thankfully this was the last time they fought as HHH started feuding with Cactus soon after this.

Shawn is on AOL and isn’t very good at typing.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

There’s really no backstory here. Mankind now has Paul Bearer as his manager following Bearer’s betrayal of the Undertaker at Summerslam. On the way to the ring, the champions say they’re going to keep the belts. Ross interviews them and the champions also argue over who the leader of the team really is. This is an issue because Bulldog recently beat Owen to win the first ever European Championship.

Heel vs. heel here which isn’t something you see that often, at least not for a title. Owen and Vader start us off which is good as they had a solid match on a European PPV. After getting pounded down for awhile, Hart speeds things up to start which works pretty well, even taking Vader down with a spinwheel kick. Vader finally is like boy I’m Vader and powerbombs him.

Davey breaks up the Vader Bomb and somehow that counts as a tag so it’s Bulldog vs. Mankind. Delayed vertical to Mankind and Vader comes in to break up a pin. Here’s a (non-delayed) suplex for you too Trixie. Vader pulls the rope down as Bulldog hits it, sending him out to the floor. With Bulldog hammering on Mankind Vader drills him with the Urn to take over.

Vader kills Bulldog with a corner splash and adds on a middle rope splash which somehow only gets two. Off to Foley who hammers away on Bulldog in the corner. Backdrop takes Davey down and it’s off to Vader again. I love that move Vader does where he more or less hits a standing splash to take someone down. Davey managers to slam Vader off the top and here comes Owen.

Top rope dropkick takes down Vader and a sunset flip causes Vader to fall down. Cross body gets two. Vader is like screw this and runs him over. Why mess with the basics? The challengers get a Demolition Decapitator to Owen on the floor to more or less end him. Hey Stu and Helen are in the front row! I wonder if the fans know they’re sitting next to perhaps the best trainer of all time.

While Mankind puts on a chinlock we look at the crowd and announce the attendance plus say that we are LIVE. Owen gets a DDT out of nowhere but runs into a knee lift to take him down. We get a Wrestling Classic reference of all things. Vader hammers away at Owen in the corner then calls a spot to him. A suplex is reversed and Owen gets a spin kick to get two.

Out to the floor again and Owen gets a belly to belly suplex on the floor to Mankind. Enziguri back in the ring takes Mankind down and it’s off to Bulldog and Vader. Vader’s mask is off and Davey cleans house. He sets for the powerslam on Mankind but he hooks in the Claw. They get knocked to the floor and Mankind gets the Claw again on the floor. Yep it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here and the ending completely sucked. This was a disjointed mess the entire time and it went over 16 minutes. It’s not completely horrible as the talent in there brings it up (I mean dude, the Bulldog is the worst wrestler in there. That says a lot) but still, this wasn’t anything special in the slightest. A definitive ending would have been nice too.

We recap Bret vs. Austin. Ok here we go. The idea is simple: Bret is losing his place in the company and thinks everyone is out to get him. He isn’t ready to go yet and wants to stay around. After losing the title he left for six months and when he came back the company was different. He talks about how everyone has screwed him over and how he doesn’t like it that well.

There was one guy that Bret thought was the cause of this whole thing: Enter Steve Austin. Austin calls Bret out on his complaining, saying that since he got back he’s done nothing but cry about how much he hates this new WWF. Austin went after Bret and drove him insane, resulting in a huge profanity laced tirade against Vince and the company on Raw.

Bret had already beaten Austin in a classic at Survivor Series, but Austin met up with him again at the Rumble. There Bret eliminated him but Austin came back in and threw Bret out and was declared the winner. Due to Shawn losing his smile, Bret won the title at Final Four and then lost it the next night but still wanted Austin more. Bret’s hatred of this new era was manifested in the form of Austin. The buildup here is incredible to say the least and there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be a classic. The question wasn’t would it be great, but how great would it be.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Ken Shamrock is guest referee due to knowing submissions. Remember that this is submission only. Nice ovation for Shamrock. Austin gets his famous entrance as actual glass shatters in front of the entrance when he walks through. The idea here is simple: Bret is a submissions master, but Austin can beat on you until you say you quit.

Austin gets in Shamrock’s face which goes nowhere. Bret definitely gets a face pop but it’s not as strong as it was before. Just to be clear: Bret is the face and Austin is the heel coming into this without question. Austin spears Bret down almost immediately and the fight is on. They slug it out and hit the floor for more punching. Austin gets sent into the post but manages to crotch Bret on the railing.

A clothesline sends Bret into the crowd. They head into the crowd and thankfully unlike ECW, there’s a camera there to get a good shot of the vast majority of the action. Bret takes over for a bit and there’s a guy with an NWO shirt on. Austin takes over and tries a Piledriver on the steps. Bret manages to backdrop him down the steps to regain control.

Back to ringside and Austin reverses Bret to send him CRASHING into the steps which go flying. He manages to knock the steps into Austin and hammers away. Hey we’re actually in the ring! Austin steps on Bret’s fingers which is a nice move. Spinning neckbreaker gets Bret out of trouble. The fans are still behind him at this point.

Vince bashes Bret saying that he’ll have an excuse for losing. Bret complained about Vince burying him in the commentary on his matches with Austin and he might have a point actually. Bret cannonballs down onto the knee of Austin and the Rattlesnake is in trouble. He works on the knee with his usual attacks but misses a second cannonball.

Austin pops up and drills Bret with a Stunner to take over. No pins though so he doesn’t have a ton to work with. Jerry says that isn’t good as it could cost him the match. Ross jumps in there and says that if someone is unconscious the referee would stop the match. That is a very important line as it establishes the procedure so they can say “we said that’s what we would do” if that came up.

Bret busts out the Heartbreaker (figure four on the post) for I think the first time on PPV and the crowd is into it. No submission of course as we’re not far enough into the match at this point. Bret grabs the bell and the fans aren’t sure about this. Scratch that as he gets the chair and tries to Pillmanize the leg. Yep the fans still love him.

Austin gets up and CRACKS Bret with the chair as he goes up to the top. Austin is all fired up now and pops Bret across the back with the chair. The fans sound afraid to cheer. Suplex puts Bret down. Middle rope elbow, a Bret move, hits for Austin. Ross gets in some GREAT jabs at WCW, talking about how this is a fight, not about covering a bald spot and various other jokes like that.

Stone Cold hits a Russian Leg Sweep (stealing the Five Moves of Doom again and busts out a Koji Clutch of all things. Never let it be said that Austin can’t wrestle when he has to. Boston Crab goes on to further work on the back. A rope is grabbed though and Austin isn’t happy at all.

Austin tries a Sharpshooter to a GREAT pop. Jerry: “Bret Hart could never submit to the Sharpshooter!” Vince: “Hey it could happen!” I wonder if Vince had some plans for Montreal already. Austin throws Bret to the floor to BIG heat. It’s very interesting to keep an eye or ear in this case on the crowd and see what they think of this match.

Out to the floor and Bret reverses Austin into the timekeeper’s table and ultimately the railing. Austin is busted open and now we get into the meat of this one. Bret hammers away on the cut to a pop but a far more mild one. Backbreaker and elbow off the middle rope from Bret and he grabs the chair. Down into the knee and Ross is morphing into JR.

Sharpshooter coming but Austin rakes the eyes to break it up. Bret hammers in the corner so Austin punts him in the balls which Vince says might have been deserved. Vince be nice. Austin wakes up and turns into the Rattlesnake, stomping the mudhole on Bret in the corner and adding a middle rope suplex for good measure. He gets the electrical cord from ringside and wraps it around Bret’s neck.

He tries to hang Bret over the top rope but Bret grabs the bell. He DRILLS Austin in the head with it to a pop from the crowd. They’re not sure what to do now. There’s the Sharpshooter and everyone rises to their feet. We get one of the most famous images in wrestling history as Austin screams in agony with the blood gushing down his head.

Austin starts to lose consciousness and JR is in his element here, shouting the entire time and it’s just great. For the first time ever, Austin breaks the Sharpshooter but Bret gets it right back on. Crowd is completely behind Austin here. He keeps fighting but eventually passes out and Shamrock stops it. Austin is DEAD but Bret isn’t done.

Bret tries to go after Austin again and the heat on him is insane. Shamrock grabs Bret and throws him off Austin. Ken is all like BRING IT ON but Bret walks away to some of the loudest booing you’ll ever here. Austin tries to get up and Shamrock leaves. Another referee tries to help Austin but he gets stunned. Austin walks to the back on his own and gets a standing ovation. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the double turn. The fans chant for Austin as he goes to the back, and the WWF has its savior.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time. It’s a war from start to finish and also one of the most complex matches you’ll ever see. Bret was fighting time and the new Attitude in the form of Austin and despite the absolute best he could do, he couldn’t get his way in the end.

The fans are as big a part of this match as the guys out there, making Austin the new hero and Bret the top heel in the company in a single match. That’s hardly ever done and this is the perfection of it. Excellent match and 100% required viewing for fans, as well as the only reason to watch this show at all.

Also, some people, myself included, believe that that match was the official dawning of the Attitude Era. Truly historic.

The blood stain on the mat is kind of creepy. The announcers talk about what we just saw and how awesome it was.

The Nation talks about how they’re going to take it to the Legion of Doom and Ahmed.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and about the 19th blowoff to Ahmed vs. the Nation. The Nation has like 8 guys with them here but the official team is Farroq/Crush/Savio Vega. The Nation would have actors come out with them to make the Nation look bigger which is kind of a great idea. We hear that Mania 14 is in Boston but tickets aren’t on sale yet.

Remember this is the LOD’s hometown so they’re mad over. Ahmed even has the spikes going on. Ahmed is the original Ezekiel Jackson if you aren’t familiar with him. The LOD brings a kitchen sink with them, starting a joke that was funny a grand total of once. This is going to be a big old wild brawl.

The Nation jumps the good guys as they’re taking off their pads. Crush gets left alone in the ring and then the lackeys come in. Yeah that doesn’t work. No tags here thank goodness. The lawyer gets beaten up, prompting JR to shout that he just got debriefed! The nightstick comes into play as there is too much to call here.

Ahmed JUMPS over the railing with a tope con hilo into the crowd. Not bad for a guy that weighed about 280. Since that isn’t good enough he jumps back over it with a big shoulder block to take down Crush. Hawk swings a big board at Savio but it hits the rope and flies into the air. He catches it but misses Savio. Farrooq gets….I think that was supposed to be a piledriver on the French announce table but they fall off to the side.

The board is used on Hawk in the ring. Total insanity here. Farrooq gets shot in the face by a fire extinguisher. The guy that would become known as D’lo brings out a street sign. This is pure anarchy. Ahmed blocks a trash can shot and puts Farrooq through the French announce table. Crowd is totally behind LOD. The fire extinguisher is used again.

It’s rope time and apparently they’re going to lynch Ahmed. Animal CRACKS Farrooq with that sign. Back to the lynching, this time with Hawk getting in trouble. Crush hits Animal with a wrench of all things. Farrooq goes up with the rope in hand and gets pulled down to the floor by Hawk. Things start to slow down a lot due to exhaustion.

There goes the fire extinguisher again. Spinebuster to Farrooq by Ahmed and I think it’s Hawk firing the extinguisher at Crush. The Nation jumps into the ring and they all beat down Ahmed but the LOD pick off Crush and it’s a Doomsday Device for him. The 2×4 is used as a clothesline to take down Farrooq for the pin. Post match PG-13 takes Doomsday Devices and D’Lo takes a Pearl River Plunge.

Rating: B+. That’s probably way too high but I loved this match when I was a kid and I loved it here. It’s a total brawl from the minute the bell rang and they kept it up for about ten minutes. All kinds of weapons, all kinds of violence and Ahmed showing off the whole time. This match was very fun and they did exactly what they said it would be: a fight. Fun match.

In Your House is back next month. I think that would be Revenge of the Taker which was pretty good.

Here’s Shawn to do commentary on the main event. This was kind of a big issue as he was supposed to lose the title back to Bret in the rematch here. Obviously that didn’t happen as he “injured his knee” which he’s hinted at being fake over the years. His entrance takes forever as he’s limping and high fives everyone in sight.

Sid flubs his lines and says he isn’t afraid of the Deadman. Can we PLEASE get someone to say something else when they’re fighting Taker? It can’t be that hard, truly it can’t be.

WWF World Title: Sid vs. Undertaker

This is happening due to Shawn sitting out. It was supposed to be Bret vs. Shawn but Austin was substituted in for Shawn to face Bret. I’m assuming Austin would have gotten one of these guys instead but that’s never been fully answered. It’s weird seeing no Bearer with Taker in this time period. They’re filling in time here as Taker’s entrance takes forever. Shawn and Taker’s combined have taken about six minutes. Also, when’s the last time you saw Taker come out first?

JR points out that Taker has never lost at Wrestlemania, although he doesn’t mention the Streak directly. I love Sid’s pyro. Always awesome. And here comes Bret Hart to take some spotlight up. Vince cuddles Shawn, telling him not to go after Bret in a funny bit. Bret says he and Taker aren’t friends anymore and that Sid is a fraud as champion. He complains a lot and gets powerbombed for his troubles. Sid yells at him and Taker jumps him to start us off.

This might be the least interesting Mania main event in a very long time. Big boot by Taker and he throws Sid into the corner and hammers away even more. Splash in the corner and we hear about Taker never being given the chance to lead the company which is rather true indeed. Old School hits and Shawn says neither is used to not being the bigger man. One is listed at 6’10 and one is listed at 6’9. Wouldn’t one be bigger?

Sid throws on a bearhug as I guess he needed a rest two minutes in. He hammers away as the fans are more or less silent. They’re not sure who to cheer for as Sid is almost universally popular but Taker is Taker. Sid knocks him to the floor and Taker is sent onto the French announce table. Why pick on the Spanish when you can pick on the French I guess.

Gorilla has sent in word that this is No DQ. Good to know. Sid’s offense is rather limited shall we say. Camel clutch goes on as we rest even more. Middle rope double axe handle takes down Taker. Taker whispers powerslam to Sid, Sid says “HUH” Taker whispers again. Powerslam gets two for Sid.

Sid chokes away as this is so boring. Jerry and Shawn make fun of Bret to pass the time. Big right hand in the corner by Sid. Shawn says you can’t beat Sid while he’s standing up. What incredible insight! To the floor and Taker sends him over the railing. They slug it out over the railing and Sid comes back to ringside again. Back into the ring with Taker having a slight advantage.

Yep it’s another rest hold. This one goes on for awhile as have the vast majority of them so far in this match. Taker fights up from his knees and gets a powerslam to take Sid down for two. Oh look it’s ANOTHER rest hold, in this case a nerve hold. Big boot is blocked by a clothesline by Taker for two. Double big boot spot and both guys are down. Can someone put on a test pattern to give us something interesting to watch?

Sid crawls over to get two. He gets another axe handle off the middle rope for two. A clothesline gets no cover as we’re filling in time until the ending here. Another double axe gets punched in the ribs but Sid rakes the eyes to break the momentum. Sid goes up for like the 9th time but Taker stops him for once. Taker gets a top rope clothesline of his own for two.

Neither guy will go for their finishers yet and Jerry thinks they’re afraid of a kickout. Taker slits the throat but Sid reverses into one of his own. Wow that actually worked. Naturally it only gets two because this is Wrestlemania. They slug it out on the floor and Bret Hart pops up again to hit Sid in the back with a chair. Taker rams Sid into the post and back in the ring a chokeslam gets two. Jumping clothesline is ducked and Sid sets for the powerbomb. Bret comes back AGAIN and clotheslines Sid on the top rope. Tombstone gives Taker his second world title.

Rating: D. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. This is one of the most lackluster matches I can remember in a long time. After two very good matches, one being a classic, just before this, this is a terrible way to end the show. Who though Sid going over 21 minutes was a good idea in the slightest? Taker’s title reign, much like this match, was boring. The commentary would make you believe he never held the title before.

Taker poses with the belt to end the show. Shawn applauds for like two minutes straight. Sid was gone after this.

Overall Rating: D. This is a show where one match was supposed to be a classic and it was. The other good match was more or less by accident and meant nothing. This was a bad time for the company but the brighter days were coming. The Border War was coming soon and it would breathe life into the company. Montreal would be the big break they needed and then Starrcade 97 completely saved them. The rest is history. If you didn’t guess, I’m trying not to talk or think about this show anymore. Terrible Mania and one of the worst ever.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And believe it or not, it’s a mixed bag.

These things really pile up, though that might be because WWE likes to crank them out at a crazy rate. That being said, they’re mostly good so let’s take a look at a few of them, plus something from a long time ago.

Untold: The Second Coming Of ECW

This is a series called Untold which only has a few episodes so far. It’s basically a mini documentary over a given subject with this one being WWECW. In short, the ECW Originals completely bury the thing while some of the people who came up on the show like it a bit better. Paul Heyman sums it up perfectly: if this show was ANYTHING other than ECW, it would have been fine.

Even Big Show has to admit that his match against Batista that drew the CHANGE THE CHANNEL chants was a disaster and that’s putting it mildly. The fans wanted ECW and got WWE3, which was never going to work. Not much new here, but it’s rare to see WWE admit that they completely botched something this badly.

Arrival: Matt Riddle

I believe this one aired in parts on one of WWE’s YouTube channel but this is the full (and still short) edition. Riddle is a former UFC fighter and seems to be one of the most can’t miss prospects in years, which has seemed to be the case every time he’s been on NXT TV. This is basically an introduction to him as we see his transition from the indies to WWE.

Riddle comes off as the most laid back, likable guy who happens to be incredibly talented. He’s also an athletic freak who can work with almost anyone, meaning it’s a matter of time before he shatters through the glass ceiling. If WWE doesn’t go that way I don’t know what to tell them, because Riddle is awesome both in and out of the ring. If you’re not familiar with him, check this out and see what WWE has waiting in the wings.

The Mark Henry Story

Now this one was surprising as Henry’s strongman stuff got a lot of focus and you got to see just how great he was. The main thing that stood out here though was how charismatic and entertaining Henry can be. He was making me laugh throughout, which just made me wonder where that Henry was throughout his 20+ year career (yes 20+). If you had someone with those physical gifts and that kind of entertainment value, he could have been a much bigger star than before.

It was cool to hear Henry get this kind of praise as he’s not really the kind of guy who gets that much attention. I was never the biggest fan of him but this one gave me a lot more respect for the guy. It’s a rare thing for me to want to hear and see more of someone but I was wanting to hear more from Henry after this. He could have been a lot more than he was, though when you’re literally the strongest man in the world, why deviate from that style?

Chronicle: Roman Reigns

This is the main event for the documentaries as no one with a soul didn’t feel at least somewhat bad for Reigns. This covers the time from the night he announced his diagnosis to his return, without much actually being covered in the middle. We see a lot of the day of his return announcement with a long time spent at Georgia Tech’s football stadium where Reigns played college football. It’s good stuff though and the thing flies by.

That being said, the biggest thing I took from this was how human Reigns felt. You don’t get that from Reigns when he’s on TV for the most part but he came off as very likable and charming here, which is how they should present him more often. In other words, act like he’s a human instead of this monster who gets pushed whether you like him or not. Give us this side of him and people might actually like the guy a lot more. It’s not like much else has worked.

Ted DiBiase: The Million Dollar Man

DiBiase has written two autobiographies, one on his own and the other with WWE. This is the latter and….it’s really not very good. Dibiase has an interesting enough story and is absolutely a legend, but the writing is rather bland and the conversations/dialogue are written as generically as possible (fair enough, but not exactly entertaining reading).

It’s one of those wrestling books where you get the basic story, a few details, and not much else. What amazed me was the amount of factual errors (Randy Savage was a heel at Wrestlemania IV? Bret Hart and Lex Luger were both named King of the Ring for being eliminated from the Royal Rumble at the same time?), which you don’t often see from a WWE product. If you’re a HUGE DiBiase fan then maybe skim through it for some pretty good stories, but don’t waste your time (which won’t be much as it’s a short book).

Smackdown
Date: October 14, 2004
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first ever Smackdown in England and we’re coming off a big surprise last week when the debuting Carlito Caribbean Cool won the US Title from John Cena. That wasn’t it though as Cena was attacked in a nightclub after the show, meaning he probably won’t be here tonight. However, we do get Hardcore Holly vs. JBL in a hardcore match for the World Title. That’s WWE’s gift to England: a Hardcore Holly title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Teddy Long addresses the roster, including Rey Mysterio in a black suit, about Cena’s condition. Apparently he wanted this to be kept quiet, which makes me wonder why it was mentioned on Raw. Cena was stabbed in the kidney and it’s not clear when he will be back. The show must go on and now we need a #1 contender to the US Title. Therefore, it’s a battle royal later tonight for a shot later tonight. The roster is happy and leaves with Carlito coming in to say what happened to Cena was bound to happen sooner or later.

Opening sequence.

The color seems a bit more washed out for some reason. Must be a British thing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree rants in French, which somehow gets Kenzo Suzuki ejected. I’m not sure I get the connection there. Van Dam starts fast and monkey flips Dupree out to the floor but misses a suicide dive. The chinlock doesn’t last long for Dupree as he switches to the French Tickler, earning himself a SCARY release German suplex with Van Dam dropping him on the back of the head. Thankfully Dupree can still walk and even knocks Rob down before going outside for a chair. Rob kicks him in the face though and hits the Five Star for a fast pin.

The announcers get serious to talk about Heidenreich going into the crowd and attacking fans last week. The only thing we see is a kid crying for an effective visual.

Theodore Long yells at Paul Heyman for Heidenreich’s actions and rants about being responsible for the fans’ safety. They’re just lucky that they didn’t get sued. Tonight, Heyman and Heidenreich are going to apologize and they better be sincere. If Undertaker comes out there, they can deal with it.

Charlie Haas vs. Billy Kidman

Haas has a bad knee and no Jackie due to a neck injury, both suffered at Kidman’s hands. Charlie chokes away in the corner to start so Kidman gets smart and kicks at the knee like any intelligent villain. The knee gets wrapped around the post so here’s Dawn Marie to check on Charlie. Kidman doesn’t mind and hits the shooting star onto the knee for the pin. Using that as a weapon is an interesting way to go and Kidman has gotten a lot better in short order.

Post match Charlie gets put on a stretcher as Dawn screams a lot.

Luther Reigns rubs oil on himself and hits on the Page 3 girls. If they’re lucky, they’ll see him in action after the show too. They’re already seeing someone tonight though and of course that’s Eddie Guerrero. Reigns calls that a mistake and isn’t happy. Oh and he lied: they’re not that hot.

JBL is annoyed at what Undertaker did to him at No Mercy and now he has to face Hardcore Holly tonight. He’s a technical wrestler like Mil Mascaras or Bret Hart instead of a brawler. Now he has to come over here and defend the title in front of these barbaric fans. No one cares about England anyway but if the country was getting an enema, he would start it right here in Manchester. I’m sure Bret loved the comparison and stolen line in the same promo.

We look back at Cena losing the US Title last week.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, Nunzio, Johnny Stamboli, Orlando Jordan, Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Spike Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Rico, Scotty 2 Hotty, Rob Van Dam, Eddie Guerrero, Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki, Funaki

The winner gets a US Title shot later tonight and I think I’ve got everyone. The fans are behind Eddie as everyone starts punching to start. Eddie backdrops Jordan out for the first elimination and Funaki follows him out thanks to Angle. Dupree and Suzuki throw Nunzio out but Dupree dumps Suzuki immediately thereafter. Stamboli and Spike go out next as the ring is cleared out a bit.

The remaining Dudleys get rid of Van Dam (pretty early elimination for him) as the fans are still behind Eddie. Rey gets rid of Bubba and D-Von at the same time and Rob runs back in to dive onto Bubba as we take a break. Back with no more eliminations and Eddie raking Reigns’ eyes to get out of a gorilla press attempt. Scotty hits the Worm on Kidman, which seems a good bit excessive and indeed, Angle uses the distraction to toss Scotty without much effort.

Rico slugs away at Dupree and then kisses him, sending Rene over the top to eliminate himself. Rey headscissors Kidman out and Jindrak tosses Rico. We’re down to Mysterio, Guerrero, Angle, Jindrak and Reigns for a solid handicap match. Eddie hurricanranas Jindrak out in a hurry but gets knocked out as well to leave us with three. Eddie isn’t done though and distracts Reigns, allowing Rey to dropkick him out. Angle slams him down hard but it’s too early to throw him out.

A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble but the ankle lock over the rope makes it even worse. Angle grabs a suplex and throws him over the ropes again but still can’t stomp him out. A springboard dropkick staggers Angle and there’s a tornado DDT for good measure. They fight up top with Rey crotching Angle but only being able to knock him to the apron. The 619 is blocked and the straps come down but Rey hurricanranas him to the apron. This time the 619 to the back is enough to give Rey the win and the title shot.

Rating: B-. They had a lot of potential with the final five but went straight to the final two instead. The good thing is those two worked very well together and the last stretch was good. Rey as the first challenger to Carlito is a nice choice and the match advanced some feuds at the same time. It was long but didn’t feel long, which is about as good as you can get for a match like this.

Post break Rey is proud of his win but Carlito comes up to interrupt. He wants the title match tonight (which I thought was already established), as long as Rey doesn’t mind wrestling twice in one night. Rey says it’s on and turns away like a moron, allowing Carlito to deck him and spit the apple.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

JBL is defending in a hardcore match and comes out in a Rolls-Royce. Holly goes with the dropkick to start and clotheslines the champ outside as it’s already time for the weapons. He takes a bit too long looking at them though and gets sent into the steps, leaving JBL to look at them too long as well. That means a street sign to the head over and over before sending JBL into the announcers’ table.

A monitor to the head doesn’t do much to Holly as he comes back with a cricket bat. For the third time so far, Holly takes too long to swing something and gets kicked in the face. The fans want tables but have to settle for Holly backdropping out of a piledriver attempt and trashcaning JBL in the head. The steps take too long though and a nasty chair to the head retains JBL’s title.

Rating: C+. These two have chemistry together and they were smart to keep this short. Holly isn’t going to be taken seriously as a challenger so they were smart to get in and get out with the hard weapons shots being the focus. It’s not like this was anything more than a way to kill time before JBL’s next challenger emerges but at least we got some far better than expected matches.

We see Heidenreich making the kid cry again.

British fans are glad to have Smackdown.

Here are Heyman and Heidenreich to apologize. Heyman gives a simple one and makes Heidenreich read one off a paper. That’s not it though as Heidenreich says he’s sorry for what happened last week, but not what he did to Undertaker at No Mercy. That was done with malice and intent and now, he wants Undertaker to bring the fight to him. With no Undertaker appearing, Heidenreich heads outside and threatens some people, including Heyman, before letting it go.

We look back at Eddie Guerrero cheating to beat Luther Reigns at No Mercy.

Chavo Guerrero is back next week.

US Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is banged up and challenging. Feeling out process to start until Rey gets sent to the apron for a quick springboard seated senton. Carlito is back up with a shot to the ribs but gets knocked off the apron for a heck of a dive from Mysterio. Back from a break with Rey in an armbar (better than a chinlock) before being thrown face first out to the floor. The armbar goes on again but this time Rey fights up and hits a dropkick for his second escape.

Something close to la majistral gives Rey two and a tornado DDT is good for the same. Carlito gets back up and just throws Rey into the air for a crash before getting two off a flying armbar. A hammerlock slam stays on the arm but Carlito decides to go up for the rather obvious dive into raised boots. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop, which is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Rey finally makes a rope so Carlito rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I liked this way better than the Cena match last week as it had more of a focus and wasn’t just Carlito getting destroyed until he stole a win. The arm work was fine and Carlito cheating when he couldn’t win through normal means worked well. A win over Mysterio will help solidify Carlito, who needs to establish himself so soon out of the gate.

More Tough Enough contestants.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Eddie rides in with the Page 3 girls. Reigns isn’t happy and goes after him to start but gets dropkicked down for his efforts. That earns him a crotching and a belly to back suplex as Reigns is mad enough that he throws Eddie’s shirt to the floor. A few backbreakers keep Eddie in trouble with Reigns bending the back over his knee for some extra pain. Eddie dances up though and slugs away but the Third Amigo is blocked. Reigns’ swinging neckbreaker is countered as Eddie walks the ropes into something like a Sliced Bread #2 but an invading Jindrak breaks up the frog splash. Reigns throws him into the steps for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not enough time here as they only had a few minutes before a DQ ending. That being said, Reigns is FAR better in the short form matches as he’s really not able to do much aside from the basics. Jindrak interfering to mess with Eddie is fine, though there’s still not much to care about with Jindrak so far. Has he actually won a match yet?

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Angle with the clippers. Big Show makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a well paced show as they kept things moving and nothing felt like it was longer than it needed to be. They advanced some of the stories as well and while it’s a long way before we get to Survivor Series, there’s at least enough to keep me interested going forward. More than anything else, I’m surprised at how tolerable JBL has been as champion. Maybe the bad comes later, but so far it’s been acceptable. Granted that might change over time, but I can’t complain much about the recent months. Good show here, and one of the better ones in a few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6