Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The advertised main event this year is the Undertaker challenging Sid for the WWF World Title. This isn’t the biggest match in the world but then again this isn’t the biggest Wrestlemania in the world. That’s the underlying problem with this show: it feels like any other show instead of the biggest night of the year. This was a strange period where Wrestlemania wasn’t being treated as the company’s grand showcase but that would change soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Free For All: Billy Gunn vs. Flash Funk

Funk is better known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a very skilled high flier. Billy is on his own now and isn’t all that interesting as a solo cowboy. Gunn starts fast but Funk flips out of a backdrop and scores with a superkick. A bad looking belly to back superplex drops Funk again and a clothesline gets a very sloppy two.

The announcers ignore the match to talk about Austin vs. Hart and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Gunn misses a top rope legdrop, allowing Funk to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Funk gets the same off a top rope victory roll but his moonsault hits knees. Billy comes back with a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t very good. Gunn was such a lame character on his own and it would only get worse soon after this as he would become Rockabilly for several months. Funk was at least entertaining with his high flying even though his career in the WWF never went anywhere. Boring match.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania but this isn’t quite the same thing. That’s very true as this one wasn’t even a sellout. We hear about the spirit of rebellion in the air and Austin vs. Bret is discussed after the main event.

Godwinns vs. New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers

This is a four team elimination match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot the next night on Monday Night Raw. The Blackjacks are Bradshaw and Barry Windham, Furnas and LaFon are a Canadian team who aren’t the most interesting guys in the world and the Headbangers are….different. They wear skirts and slam into each other in what is considered dancing. Before the match the Blackjacks say they’re riding again (the original team hadn’t been around for about twenty years. Of note, Windham is the son of Blackjack Mulligan and Bradshaw is the nephew of Blackjack Lanza) in a quick interview.

It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect until it’s Henry vs. Bradshaw. The Godwinn get the better of it but Thrasher is quickly in, only to get planted with a pumphandle slam. Phineas comes in to beat on Thrasher even more before he tags out to Mosh, giving us Headbanger vs. Headbanger.

That goes nowhere so it’s off to Windham vs. Furnas (an incredible powerhouse) with the latter pulling off a hurricanrana, only to get caught in a powerslam for no cover. Bradshaw comes in and falls to the floor with Furnas but Bradshaw shoves the referee down for the DQ and an elimination. Furnas and LaFon are counted out as well, meaning it’s down to the Godwinns vs. the Headbangers.

Phineas works over throws Thrasher around and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. It’s back to Henry who is sent into the buckle, followed by an awkward exchange where Thrasher seemed to forget to raise his boot in the corner. Phineas comes in to spit in Thrasher’s face (which Vince says Phineas does to farm animals, much to Lawler’s confusion) but it’s quickly off to Mosh vs. Henry with the big man scoring with a Cactus Clothesline.

Mosh dives off the apron to take Henry down and this just keeps going. Commenting on the Headbangers’ attire, Lawler asks if Vince has any White Zombie CDs. Vince: “White……Zombie?” Back in and Thrasher misses a moonsault, allowing the tag to Phineas for some house cleaning. Thrasher breaks up the Slop Drop and Mosh hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin and the title shot at 10:39.

Rating: D. The wrestling was sloppy, the teams had no issues coming in and the double elimination felt really cheap. This was one of the worst possible ideas for an opening match as it started bad and never got any better. Just not a very good match as it went longer than it needed to and didn’t change the fact that this division is still lacking.

In Your House XIV ad.

Brian Pillman and Sunny tell us to CALL THE HOTLINE!

Intercontinental Title: The Sultan vs. Rocky Maivia

Honky Tonk Man is out on commentary in his quest for a new protege. Rocky is defending (after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley to win the title a little over a month ago in a big upset) and Sultan is just a Middle Eastern monster played by the future Rikishi and managed by Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik. Rocky starts fast with some right hands and a dropkick to send Sultan out to the floor.

Sultan throws him into the post to take over as the crowd is noticeably not interested. Back in and a hard clothesline gets two on the champ and we’re in the nerve hold. Oh sweet goodness not this again. Honky Tonk says he’d have already won with the Shake Rattle and Roll and be in the back combing his hair. Sultan’s top rope headbutt gets two and it’s time for a chinlock.

The fans are rightfully bored and restless as this hold continues. Rocky makes his comeback with some open handed punches and a belly to belly for two as the fans still don’t seem interested. The high cross body (Rocky’s finisher) connects but Sheik has the referee. A great looking superkick (he always had a good one) takes the champ down and a piledriver gets two. Rocky comes right back with a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:43.

Rating: D-. This one was less bad and much more dull with the chinlock in the middle killing anything they could have gotten out of it. Rocky would of course get way better but he didn’t have a character or anywhere near the charisma that he would have in the future. That leaves you with a dull match against a one note challenger which isn’t something you want to do after a lame opener.

Post match Sultan, Sheik and Backlund destroy Rocky but his dad Rocky Johnson comes in for the save and house is cleaned.

Ken Shamrock, the former UFC Champion and the guest referee for the submission match, promises to not be intimidated.

Dok Hendrix (better known as Michael P.S. Hayes and with a very loud echo for some reason) asks Helmsley about his relationship with newcomer Chyna. Helmsley says Hendrix doesn’t need to know about it and tonight he’s taking Goldust out straight up. Marlena better be watching out too.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Helmsley has taken a major step up in the last year as he’s a lot more serious though still far away from what he would become. This started a few months ago when Helmsley made a pass at Marlena. Goldust went after Helmsley but Chyna debuted and attacked Marlena to continue the feud. Goldust is now good but still a bit out there as he crouches down and stares at Hunter before exploding with right hands. He makes sure to spit down at Chyna who as usual doesn’t flinch.

Helmsley gets clotheslined out to the floor as Lawler accuses Vince of wearing a toupee. More right hands are followed by a ram into the post and this is one sided so far. Hunter’s facebuster only gives him a temporary reprieve as Goldust scores with a nice powerslam. With all the momentum, Goldust goes up top but gets thrown down onto the floor in a huge crash to completely change momentum. Things slow way down as they should when the villain is in control and Goldust’s clothes are partially removed for the second year in a row.

Hunter puts on an abdominal stretch to slow things down even more as Marlena puffs on a cigar. Off to a chinlock with Helmsley’s arm not actually making contact with Goldust’s throat. A suplex gets two on Goldust and a DDT gets the same. Back up and Goldust’s comeback is stopped as they ram heads to make the match drag again. Goldust loads up the Curtain Call (reverse suplex slam) but Chyna goes after Marlena, allowing the Pedigree to put Goldust away at 13:17.

Rating: D+. I’ve never liked this match or feud but I guess it’s an improvement as they had a longer and worse match at the Royal Rumble. These two fought each other for the first half of 1997 and it never took off. Helmsley just wasn’t entertaining at this point as he had such a slow paced offense and Goldust wasn’t really the kind of person who was going to be able to help him to a new level here. It’s not a horrible match but it’s really boring, especially after an awful first hour.

Marc Mero and Sable pitch Wrestlemania shirts. Well ok it’s mainly Sable but Mero is there too.

Shawn Michaels can’t figure out AOL.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/Vader vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

All villains here. Hart and Bulldog are defending and Mankind and Vader have Paul Bearer in their corner after Bearer turned on Undertaker at Summerslam 1996. The champs have been having issues for months and Owen recently said he was smarter than Bulldog, who is also European Champion, having beaten Owen in a tournament final to become the inaugural champion.

Vader powers Owen into the corner to start and pummels him with right hands. A splash misses but Owen tries a hurricanrana and is easily powerbombed down. Heaven help this team if he’s the smarter one. Everything breaks down and Bulldog throws the challenger around before staying in to headbutt Mankind. Bulldog suplexes both of them in an awesome power display (he was always great at those) and we hit the chinlock on Mankind.

They head outside with Vader nailing Bulldog in the back of the head with the urn to take over. Now it’s Vader’s turn for a middle rope splash, followed by a running knee to the head from Mankind. Vader dives into a powerslam (a very common spot for him) and the tag brings in Owen, who the fans don’t cheer because he’s a heel. Hart avoids a sitdown splash and cross bodies Vader, only to run into a heavy clothesline to give the challengers control again. Owen gets beaten down in front of his parents in the front row and Lawler has a ball with his jokes.

Mankind blocks a splash with his knees as the announcers discuss the history of the WWF in this building, including a Wrestling Classic reference. A nice spinwheel kick puts Vader down to no response but he breaks up Owen’s tag attempt. Mankind follows Owen to the floor but charges into a belly to belly. The hot tag finally brings in Bulldog to clean house, even knocking Vader’s mask off. The powerslam is countered by the Mandible Claw though and they fall outside for the double countout at 16:04.

Rating: C-. That’s the best match of the night by far and it’s really more long than good. Mankind and Vader probably should have taken the titles here, even if it was just for a quick title reign before Owen and Bulldog got them back. They had held the titles for months now and it was time to freshen the division up a bit.

Mankind won’t let go of the hold for a bit but the challengers eventually leave, far too happy about a double countout draw.

We get a long recap of Hart vs. Austin. This is all about Austin having no respect for anything Bret Hart has done in the WWF and letting his venom flow through the company. Austin has been winning the mental game too as Bret has started completely snapping, going on hateful tirades about how everyone has screwed him over and how it’s everyone else that has changed. Bret’s entire legacy rides on him being able to defeat Steve Austin and regain the fans’ respect in this one match.

This is one of the greatest stories ever told in wrestling as the details (costing Bret the title, the Royal Rumble etc) are all secondary to the underlying theme: Bret being unable to hold on to the past and not accepting this new reality. Austin embodied the rebellious nature and it made for a perfect dynamic with the traditionalist Bret. As great as the stories were, the matches were even better and made the feud one of the best ever.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Submission match with Ken Shamrock refereeing. Austin has a famous entrance as a wall of glass saying AUSTIN 3:16 breaks and he walks through the broken pieces. The fans are split here but it seems to be more pro-Bret coming in. They slug it out to start and are on the floor very quickly. Austin is sent face first into the post but he crotches Bret across the barricade and clotheslines him into the crowd.

Bret gets whipped into some hockey boards but he fights back and they head deeper into the fans. A backdrop gets Bret out of a piledriver as you can barely see anything at the moment. Back to ringside with Bret in control and the fans completely into something for the first time all night. Austin reverses a whip to send Bret into the steps but Hart grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather back inside.

Vince is already treating Bret like the heel on commentary, wondering what kind of excuse Bret will have if he loses. It’s time to work on Austin’s eternally damaged knee with a leg snap and some cannonballs off the ropes. He misses another cannonball though and Austin grabs the Stunner out of nowhere. No covers though so Bret gets up and kicks the knee out again.

The Figure Four around the post has Austin screaming but he doesn’t give up. Lawler: “Bret can twist that leg until it looks like the Chicago White Sox’s Robin Ventura but Austin won’t submit.” Bret grabs a chair but can’t Pillmanize the leg, allowing Austin to get in a great chair shot to knock Hart off the top. The fans are losing it for Austin here and you can see the future right in front of your eyes.

Austin’s middle rope elbow, complete with two middle fingers, has Bret in even more trouble. JR is on fire here as he talks about how this is all about respect and emotion instead of covering a bald spot (shot at Hogan) or your reputation. Unfortunately Vince is there to bring it back down to dull, unemotional commentary that sounds like a high school chemistry teacher trying to be funny.

Austin goes for a submission by laying on his back, wrapping his leg around Bret’s head and pulling back on his arm (it’s hard to put into words) before going for a standard Boston crab, only to have Hart make it to the ropes. Austin can’t get a Sharpshooter on Bret (Lawler: “Wouldn’t that be great? Seeing Bret submit to the Sharpshooter?” Vince: “Hey, it could happen.”) so he sends him outside instead. A hard whip sends Austin into the barricade, wiping out a bunch of commentators and busting him open.

Bret sends him into other metal objects and sweet goodness Austin is spewing blood. Hart pounds away on the cut and it’s time for the Five Moves of Doom. That’s enough wrestling though and Bret starts driving the chair into Austin’s bad knee. JR again goes into his full on excitement mode before Bret hammers away in the corner. Austin isn’t interested in wrestling either and kicks Bret low. The fans are right back into this and Austin is fired up. He stomps one heck of a mudhole in the corner, flips Bret off, and stomps him again.

A nice superplex plants Bret again and Austin chokes him with an electrical cord, only to have Bret grab the bell to knock Austin out. That’s a very nice callback to Wrestlemania VIII where Piper wouldn’t give into the demons but Bret easily did. The Sharpshooter goes on and the blood is flowing out of Austin’s head in one of the most famous shots in wrestling (As Austin would later say on his podcast: “That’s an image that sold a lot of t-shirts.”). A loud Austin chant starts up and he powers out of the hold as the blood drips down between his teeth but Bret gets it back on and Austin passes out to end the match at 22:03.

Rating: A+. Good grief this match is amazing. This is the match that turned Austin into the biggest star of all time and the moment where the WWF had the Monday Night Wars won. It would take time, but Austin was clearly going to be the hottest thing ever and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

That’s the key to the whole match and a great piece of symbolism: Bret could not stop Austin and only slowed him down. No matter what Bret did, he couldn’t make Austin quit, even after he gave in to the dark side. This is on the short list for the greatest match of all time and certainly one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever. In case you somehow haven’t seen this, go out of your way to watch it at some point because it’s one of the best and most important matches of all time.

Bret is still livid and stomps away even more until Shamrock (who wasn’t a factor in the match) breaks it up and offers to fight. Hart leaves and is booed out of the building as Austin has pulled himself to the corner. Austin pulls his way up and Stuns the referee for trying to help him. He very slowly limps to the back with no help, receiving thunderous cheers from the crowd. A star has been born and everyone knows it. Even the announcers put him over as the toughest man they’ve ever seen.

The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, Savio Vega and Crush plus an army of unnamed men, many of whom were actors there to make the Nation look even bigger. That’s actually a very smart idea and not something I’ve seen since.) promises that it’s going to be a fight against the Legion of Doom and Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed had feuded with the Nation for months now and this is one of their many showdowns.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and the Nation has brought out a bunch of weapons to use. Ahmed has a 2×4 and Hawk brings a kitchen sink for the sake of completeness. The LOD seems even more fired up than usual to be in their hometown. It’s a brawl to start of course and thankfully there are no tags required here. The good guys clean house to start and the yet to be named D’Lo Brown, JC Ice and Wolfie D. (the rappers who perform the Nation’s theme song) are slammed down to the floor.

Ahmed dives over the barricade to take Crush out as this is rapidly turning into a match that is impossible to call. Hawk swings a 2×4 at Savio but hits the ropes, sending the board into the air, only to have Hawk make a nice catch to send Savio running again. Animal tries to piledrive Faarooq through the French announcers’ table but they fall to the side instead. Instead Animal sprays him with a fire extinguisher and things slow down a bit until Ahmed slams Faarooq through the French table.

Animal beats the fire out of Savio with a trashcan but the fire extinguisher goes off again to blind everyone. The Nation puts a noose around Ahmed’s throat to hang him over the ropes but Hawk comes back with a double clothesline. Faarooq tries to choke Hawk with the noose until he gets pulled off the top rope for a big crash. The brawling continues until Crush gets caught in a quick Doomsday Device, followed by a 2×4 shot to give Animal the pin at 10:43.

Rating: B. It’s the definition of a garbage brawl but these guys beat the fire out of each other the entire time and gave us one heck of an entertaining brawl, especially in the death slot after the submission match. This was really fun and that’s all it needed to be with the fans going nuts over seeing the LOD dominant and violent one more time.

JC Ice and Wolfie D. take a double Doomsday Device after the match.

In Your House XIV ad.

There’s no recap for the main event but there isn’t much of a story to tell. Sid took the title from Bret when Austin interfered and Undertaker has been in the title hunt for a long time now. This was originally going to be Bret taking the title from Shawn to get his win back from last year but Shawn lost his smile just in time for the match to not take place. That’s very convenient no?

Shawn Michaels comes out for commentary, taking his sweet time to soak in all the cheers.

Sid says he isn’t scared of the darkness.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

Sid is defending and gets the very cool name in lights fireworks display. The bell rings and here’s Bret Hart (Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful about not being in the main event.”) to insult Shawn for faking an injury, tell Undertaker that they’re no longer friends, and tell Sid that he’s a fraud as champion. Sid just smiles and powerbombs Bret before telling the crybaby to hop along. There’s a second bell and we’re ready to go.

Undertaker pounds away to start and hits an early Old School, only to get caught in a bearhug. The hold stays on for nearly two minutes as Lawler and Michaels bicker for a bit. Shawn asks if you can actually squeeze the life out of Undertaker. Sid boots Undertaker in the face and kicks him over the announcers’ table as this is dragging along.

A slam turns the table over but Undertaker is right back to his feet and they go inside with Vince mentioning that this was turned into a No DQ match earlier today. Not that it really matters but that’s three straight No DQ matches to end the show. Sid pulls back on a camel clutch as Shawn gets in a perfect analysis by saying Sid doesn’t deviate from the power because it takes him everywhere he needs to go. That’s such a perfect lesson that so many people don’t understand.

Sid gets two off a powerslam and the frustration is setting in. Shawn: “Better pound on him some more.” They go outside again with Sid being knocked over the barricade so Undertaker can punch him in the face. Back in and we hit a bad chinlock (read as Undertaker is laying on his back with Sid’s hands on his face) until Undertaker fights up with a powerslam for two.

Now it’s Undertaker with a nerve hold as the crowd is getting restless again. Back up and it’s a double big boot to put both of them down. A middle rope clothesline (more like a fist) gets two for the champ but Undertaker punches him out of the air on the next attempt. Now it’s Undertaker going up top for a clothesline for two of his own. Sid reverses the Tombstone into one of his own but even the arm fold cover gets two.

They go outside for the third time and here’s Bret again to blast Sid in the back with a chair. Back in and a chokeslam gets two for Undertaker but he misses a running clothesline. Sid sets for the powerbomb until Bret comes down AGAIN (Shawn: “Doesn’t he get tired of getting beat up?”) and snaps Sid across the top rope, setting up the Tombstone to give Undertake the title at 23:54.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here and the match was a disaster most of the time. Sid isn’t made to go this long and it made for one heck of a bad match. The Bret stuff got annoying in a hurry but at least he was more interesting than either guy out there. Undertaker winning is definitely the right call as Sid was pretty much gone after this and Undertaker could at least do some entertaining things with the right opponent. That’s not the case here though and the match was a disaster.

Undertaker poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. There’s a really good stretch of about forty five minutes in there that was on fire but this isn’t a forty five minute show. So much of this was spent on matches that didn’t feel important or didn’t give me a reason to care. What changed here other than the World Title? Rocky retains in a lame match, the Tag Team Titles go to a double countout and we need to watch tomorrow to find out what happens with the Headbangers?

Much like Wrestlemania IX, this didn’t feel like a Wrestlemania. If this was any other show during the year, the results would have been much better. Unfortunately, as has been the case multiple times, this was the biggest show of the year and the card didn’t live up to the standard. This isn’t a good show but that’s a very common problem around this time, which is why business was in such a bad place here.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/22/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiii-austins-ascension/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

There’s a very strong case that this is the night where the Attitude Era began. I’m not sure if that’s the case but it beats almost anything else for second place. The alleged main event here is Sid defending the world title against Undertaker but in reality it’s Austin vs. Hart in a battle of the generations in a submission match. The match is a dark horse candidate for the greatest match of all time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the tradition of Wrestlemania but mentions that there’s a new force in the company. It’s not a person but rather an attitude of vengeance and a lack of respect.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

In Your House ad.

CALL THE HOTLINE!!!

Honky Tonk Man is here, still looking for his new protege. He’ll be doing commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Maivia is defending. Sultan is more famous as Rikishi and has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik in his corner. Lawler tells Honky not to pick Rocky for his protege because there’s no future there. So much for the Memphis school system. Rocky starts off fast and knocks Sultan out to the floor. The managers try to calm the big man down but Rocky goes after him, only to wind up clotheslining the post.

Back in and Sultan runs him over with a clothesline of his own. He throws Rocky into the corner by the throat and hits another clothesline for two. Off to a nerve hold as Honky rants about how he already would have defended the title and been in the back combing his hair. Sultan goes up and hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. So we have a Samoan portraying an Arabian but hitting a headbutt to another Samoan. I’m so racially confused.

Rocky tries a sunset flip but Sultan grabs him by the throat to block. A belly to belly gets two and we hit the chinlock. The fans are very restless with this and rightly think it’s boring. Rocky fights up but they clothesline each other to stop things from getting interesting. Sultan starts pounding away again but Rocky starts feeling the soul and makes his comeback.

Maivia snaps off some punches to Sultan and gets two off a belly to belly suplex. The spinning DDT that Rocky doesn’t use anymore puts Sultan down and there’s his top rope cross body (finisher at the time) but the Sheik has the referee. Sultan gets up and hits a superkick for a very close two. A piledriver gets another two count for Sultan but Rocky grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. This got better by the end but man alive was it dull for the most part. It just kept going and Sultan didn’t have enough enough to make a match like this work. Rocky would get WAY better and the jump he’s made since Survivor Series to this point is remarkable. The fans would start to hate him though, which wound up being exactly what he needed all along.

Post match Rocky is doing an interview with JR when Sultan jumps him from behind. Sheik, Sultan and Backlund all beat on Maivia until Rocky Johnson, Rocky’s dad, comes in to help fight them off. Cool moment but I don’t think most people knew who Johnson was.

Ken Shamrock, the guest referee in the submission match, says that he’ll call it down the middle. He’s here because he’s a submission master, which he actually was as a former UFC World Champion.

Doc Hendrix (with a LOUD echo on his mic) is with HHH and Chyna. HHH doesn’t think his relationship with Chyna is any of Doc’s business.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

This feud just kept GOING for months on end. Goldust crouches down and does his mind game schtick before pounding away on HHH. This is a very personal rivalry apparently. What the rivalry is about isn’t important enough to explain. Goldie pounds away in the corner and hits a fast atomic drop before sending HHH to the floor. HHH is on the apron so Goldust can slide under the ropes and hit his uppercut.

Now the not yet Game is tied up in the ropes with his feet dangling over the floor. After he’s freed, Goldust clotheslines him back inside but gets caught in the facebuster to slow things down. That doesn’t last long though as Goldust powerslams HHH down and goes up top. HHH comes back though and crotches the gold one before sending him off the top and face first into the apron.

Back in and HHH is in control, ripping open Goldust’s clothes to chop at the bare chest. A hard whip into the other corner puts Goldust down again and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by HHH which goes off to an arm trap chinlock. Helmsley grabs a few covers but can’t keep Goldust down for three. Goldie comes back with a near low blow and an uppercut to the face.

Not that any of that matters though as HHH comes right back with a suplex and knee drop for two. Goldust is like MOVIE REFERENCES and chops away in the corner but HHH knocks him right back down. A small package gets two for Goldust but HHH takes over again almost immediately. Goldie comes back with a cross body for two but they hit head to head to put both guys down. HHH goes up top but jumps into a flying…shall we say hip attack from Goldust to put him back down.

Chyna keeps staring at the ring without moving much more than her eyes. HHH misses a charge into the corner and gets put down by a backdrop. Goldust’s bulldog gets two as Chyna starts walking around the ring. HHH escapes the Curtain Call (reverse suplex) but Goldust counters the counter into a slingshot. He loads up the Curtain Call again but sees Chyna near Marlena. Marlena jumps up on the apron but Goldust is knocked into her, sending Marlena into Chyna’s arms. The Pedigree ends Goldie quickly.

Rating: C-. This was higher quality but it was still dull stuff. This was a REALLY bad period for HHH as he wasn’t having interesting matches and wasn’t in DX yet to let him be funny either. That combines to make him like a 12 year old hitting on girls: awkward, not interesting, and more laughable than effective. Nothing to see here, as usual with these two.

Shawn Michaels tries to figure out AOL.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

Owen/Bulldog are defending and have to deal with Paul Bearer managing the challengers. JR tries to cause trouble among the tag champions by asking Bulldog if he’s mad over Owen saying he’s smarter than Bulldog. Bulldog is also European Champion here, having beaten Owen for it a few weeks ago in a masterpiece. Owen and Vader start things off with the Canadian getting pounded down into the corner by the monster.

Hart tries to speed things up and actually takes Vader down with a spinwheel kick. A cross body is easily caught though and a rana is countered into a powerbomb. The idea here is that Vader and Mankind could have problems with Bulldog but they can beat up Owen with relative ease. Vader loads up the Bomb which draws in Bulldog and Mankind. Bulldog clotheslines the monsters down and Owen dropkicks them both down to one up his partner.

It’s Bulldog vs. Mankind now with the Brit stomping away in the corner. There’s the delayed vertical but Vader won’t even let Bulldog cover. Bulldog casually slams/suplexes Vader down to show off a little bit. It’s back to Mankind vs. Bulldog with Mankind being put in a chinlock. Mankind fights up and throws him to the floor where Bearer hands him the Urn. Bulldog trips him down though to avoid the shot, only to have Vader get the Urn and blast Bulldog in the back of the head to shift control.

Back in and Vader hits a suplex on Bulldog for two before pounding away in the corner. A corner splash crushes the British one and a middle rope splash (regular, not Vader Bomb style) only gets two. That’s a surprise and it earns a Bulldog chant. Mankind comes in but can’t get the Mandible Claw on. Instead he pounds Bulldog down into the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Instead of covering, Mankind goes to the floor and screams a bit. You know, because that’s what he does.

Vader runs Bulldog over again but as he goes up, Bulldog flips him over in a kind of release slam. Back to Owen who comes in with a missile dropkick to take Vader back down. A top rope cross body gets two but Vader CRUSHES him with a standing body block. The challengers hit a kind of Demolition Decapitator off the apron to the floor. That move put Rick Martel out for about seven months in 1988 but here it keeps Owen down for about six seconds. Now THAT is toughness.

Stu and Helen are in the front row as Mankind chokes away at Owen. Back in and Owen grabs a DDT out of desperation but a splash hits knees to slow him down again. Mankind charges at Owen but they hit heads to put both guys down. We actually hear about The Wrestling Classic for no apparent reason. Vader comes back in to box Owen’s ears but Hart escapes a suplex and hits a quick spin kick for two. Out to the floor again where Owen hits a quick belly to belly on Mankind before they head back inside.

The enziguri puts Mankind down and there’s the hot tag to Bulldog. Vader loses his mask as Bulldog beats on both challengers. Mankind is still legal and gets whipped HARD into the corner. There’s the powerslam but Mankind grabs the Claw to escape. Everything breaks down and Mankind and Bulldog go to the floor. Mankind puts on the Claw and it’s a double countdown.

Rating: B-. That might be overrating it but after an hour of boring stuff, this was a nice breath of air. The story here was shaky but it worked well enough all things considered. I’m not sure why this match happened as I don’t remember any build up to it at all and with a #1 contenders match earlier in the night, I really don’t get why this match happened. Still though, not bad stuff.

Mankind refuses to let go of the hold.

We recap Bret vs. Austin which is the real main event of this show. So Bret was all awesome and such but after losing the title at Wrestlemania last year, Bret took six months off to whine. Then he came back and felt that he kept getting screwed over by everyone from Shawn to Austin to Vince (nah that could never happen). Austin was leading the charge of disrespect by saying Bret was just a crybaby anymore. This led to a masterpiece between Austin and Bret that made everyone realize Austin was for real and the next big thing.

Hart barely won but he kept snapping and even hit Pat Patterson, the symbol of respect and tradition. This led to the Royal Rumble where Bret had the match won and eliminated Austin, only to have Austin sneak back in and win the match. A month later Bret won the vacant world title, only to have Austin cost him the belt the next night on Raw. This all led up to here and a submission match with the theme of a submission master vs. a guy that will not quit.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

This is a submission match and Ken Shamrock is guest referee. Austin has actual glass shatter as he enters which is rather cool. He gets cheered but Bret gets something resembling a mixed reaction. Austin tackles him down to start and the fight is on immediately. They head to the floor with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Austin gets posted but he manages to crotch Bret on the barricade. Bret gets clotheslined into the crowd as this is all action so far.

Bret gets in a few shots in the audience and Shamrock is right with them. Presumably this is falls count anywhere. Bret gets in a solid right hand but Austin grabs him for a piledriver. Hart counters with a backdrop and they head back towards the ring. Back to ringside and Bret dives off the barricade with a forearm to the back. Austin comes right back by whipping Hart into the steps to put him down again.

Steve hits a forearm off the apron before picking up the steps. Bret kicks him in the ribs though and the steps might have crushed Austin’s leg. As they get back in the ring (remember that thing?) Bret guillotines Austin on the top rope to take over again. Bret cranks on the leg and cannonballs down on it ala Flair. More cranking ensues and Hart wants him to get up. Bret misses another cannonball and Austin ERUPTS with a clothesline to put both guys down.

We get some foreshadowing by Lawler when he says you can’t give up when you’re unconscious. Hart comes back with a kick to the leg and throws on the Figure Four around the post. Bret goes to get the bell but switches over to a chair. That one has too much padding on it though so he gets a regular chair to Pillmanize the ankle with. The fans are getting WAY into this. Bret goes up top but Austin crotches him and CRACKS him with the chair.

Another big chair shot to the back sets up a suplex as Hart is in big trouble all of a sudden. A middle rope elbow from Austin hits Bret as JR is in full on JR mode, including a few jabs at WCW (“This isn’t about posing or covering a bald spot!”). Austin this another Bret move in the Russian legsweep followed by a reverse Koji Clutch (as in he cranks on the arm while wrapping his leg around Bret’s head. That’s a bit too complicated for Austin though so there’s a Boston Crab instead.

Bret makes a rope because in a war like this, let’s make sure we follow the rules. Austin loads up a Sharpshooter (he has no idea how to get it on) but Austin escapes. Steve fires him through the ropes and to the floor. Bret comes back and reverses a whip into the barricade while running over a few people in the process. Austin is bleeding and it’s a GUSHER. Bret sends him into the steps and pounds away at the cut as we head back inside.

Hart pounds away even harder at Austin’s forehead before hitting the Five Moves of Doom. Bret gets the chair as Vince says this is becoming too much to watch. Hart drives the chair into the leg over and over again but he can’t get the Sharpshooter again. The mat is covered in blood. Austin comes back with a low blow but he can barely stand up. He whips Bret chest first into the corner and here comes the Rattlesnake. Austin stomps the mudhole in Bret and the double bird gets a big reaction from the fans.

Austin puts Bret on top and superplexes him back down. You can’t see Austin’s forehead from all the blood. Since nothing else works, Austin goes to the floor and gets the electrical cable to choke Bret out. Hart grabs the bell from somewhere though and blasts Austin in the head, knocking him silly. Now the Sharpshooter goes on and the place goes NUTS. Austin’s head is on the mat and you can see the blood pooling up under him. That is SICK.

The crowd starts chanting for Austin and we get one of the most famous shot in company history as Austin screams into the camera with blood flowing down his face. He gets one last rush of adrenaline to push up and break the Sharpshooter for the first time ever. Well kind of as he gets Bret off his back but couldn’t break the grip. Bret gets the hold back on but Austin will not quit. Austin is out cold and Shamrock finally stops it. Austin never gave up.

Rating: A+. This is the highest rating a match can get. If there was a higher rating, this match would get that. This is one of the greatest wars you will ever see in a ring with some of the greatest storytelling you’ll ever see either. The idea of Bret being taken out of his element, only to get sucked into Austin’s world where he reaches a point that he’s never been to before but it’s STILL not enough to stop Austin is amazing and works to this day. The key point here: Hart could not stop Austin. He could only slow him down. Absolutely amazing and if you haven’t seen this, go find it right now. Seriously, go watch it now. It’s excellent.

Post match Bret is disgusted with himself but looks at Austin’s lifeless body and gets mad all over again for not being able to make Austin quit. Bret goes after the leg again but Shamrock grabs him and hooks a kind of suplex to get Hart off. Shamrock says let’s go if you want to but Bret backs down and leaves. The fans GO OFF on Bret as Austin is trying to remember what planet he’s on. A referee comes out to check on him and gets a Stunner for his troubles. Austin walks out on his own power and gets a well deserved standing ovation. And that my friends, is a double turn.

Amazingly enough, Bret vs. Austin was only just beginning. The next five months would be even more insane with perhaps an even better match blowing it off. Now let THAT sink in for a minute. This is still one of the few matches that has an actual impact on me and I get WAY into it every time I see it.

Why aren’t you watching this match right now? I’m tempted to watch it again.

Faarooq and the Nation say the criminals are out tonight in Chicago and they’re ready for the LOD and Ahmed in the Chicago street fight.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

It’s Crush/Faarooq/Savio Vega plus a bunch of unnamed lackeys forming the Nation at this point. They bring out every weapon you could think of for this match between about the nine people they have here. Ahmed has the spikes on too and they bring the kitchen sink with them. Ok point for a funny idea. It’s a big brawl to start (and will continue to be that way) with the good guys beating up the lackeys.

Faarooq hits Animal in the back with a nightstick and Ahmed hits a big dive over the barricade to take out I think Savio. I’m not going to be able to call everything here so expect a lot to be missed. Ahmed crushes Crush with a trashcan as Hawk has a 2×4 to stalk Savio with. Animal tries a piledriver on Faarooq through a table but they just fall off to the side instead. The fans chant for the LOD and Animal blasts Faarooq with a fire extinguisher. Savio cleans house with a trashcan but gets it wrapped around him and blasted by Hawk.

Ahmed slams Faarooq through the table from earlier and there goes the fire extinguisher again. Now we get a big rope with a noose on it to hang Ahmed. The Nation is too big and powerful for LOD and Ahmed to fight off. Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to Jerry’s shock. It was an actual wrestling move! Ahmed gets out of the noose and beats up D-Lo Brown for a bit. Animal hits Faarooq with a parking sign as Savio throws Ahmed over the barricade.

Crush finds a wrench from somewhere to blast Animal with as Faarooq is pulled to the floor by the rope. They’re clearly starting to get tired now. Hawk sprays the Nation down with the extinguisher again but the lackeys save Faarooq from the Pearl River Plunge. Crush gets caught in the Doomsday Device out of nowhere before getting hit by a 2×4 for the pin.

Rating: B-. You know what, why not. This was a FIGHT and it worked quite well. They didn’t try to make this anything but a street fight and that’s what they gave us. This wasn’t good or quality or anything but it was certainly fun and exactly what it was advertised as. Good stuff here and the second best match of the night so far.

Post match D’Lo (not yet named) takes the Pearl River Plunge and the small white guys (PG-13) take a double Doomsday Device to pop the crowd HUGE.

Here’s Shawn Michaels to do commentary on the main event. This was when he had a “knee injury”, which had a bad case of Idon’twanttoreturnthejobtoBretsoI’llsayI’mhurtandnotlosetohimlikeamanwould-itis.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

This is because Sid won the title and Undertaker is getting a title shot for…..no reason that I can remember at all actually. He was just kind of thrown in there to get the title off Sid with no real explanation. Sid gives his usual insane promo about how he’s going to retain the title because he’s not scared. For the first time ever, we hear that Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania. Sid’s pyro of his name in lights is awesome.

Just after the bell, here’s Bret Hart. Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful.” Bret yells at Shawn for having a fake injury and losing his smile. He then says that he and Undertaker are no longer friends. As for Sid, he’s a fraud because the belt belongs to Bret. Thankfully Sid hits Bret in the face and powerbombs him (Shawn: “And now you’re getting beaten up because of your big mouth.). Taker jumps Sid from behind and we get another bell to officially start the match.

Sid throws him into the corner to start but charges into a big boot. Taker hits a kind of splash in the corner followed by a slam for two. Old School hits Sid but Taker charges into a bearhug. The bearhug stays on for a long time as you would expect it to. These two have 22 minutes for this match and that’s a recipe for disaster. Sid finally kicks Undertaker to the floor and then over the French announce table for good measure.

Apparently this is no holds barred according to Gorilla. Sid drops him on the table and almost breaks it in the process. Back in and Sid pounds away at the back even more before hooking a camel clutch. Jerry: “How do you kill a dead man?” Vince: “You don’t have to. You just have to pin him for three seconds.” Point to Vince I guess. Sid hits a powerslam but can only get three two’s in a row.

A big leg gets two for Sid but Taker comes back with the flying clothesline for two. They head to the floor where Sid is thrown over the barricade. That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a horrible chinlock by the champion. Taker fights up and hits a powerslam for two before putting on a nerve hold of his own. A clothesline puts Sid back down for two as Taker is looking tired.

They hit big boots at the same time to put each other down. Sid goes to the middle rope for an ax handle and thankfully keeps his leg intact. A kind of middle rope clothesline/punch to the face gets two for the champion but here comes the Dead Man. Sid slams him down and goes up top, only to be crotched and slammed down. Undertaker hits a top rope clothesline for two more as the match FINALLY picks up a bit. Taker loads up the Tombstone but gets reversed into a tombstone by Sid for two.

We head back to the floor again but here’s Bret Hart to smack Sid in the back with a chair. Referees and officials come out to throw Bret out as Sid is rammed back first into the post. Back inside we go again and it’s a chokeslam for a VERY close two. They botch what might have been the flying clothesline as Sid ducks down, sending Taker flying. Here comes the powerbomb but Bret interferes AGAIN. The distraction lets Taker hit the Tombstone for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull stuff and Bret got annoying after about his second interference. Granted that’s the idea, but he was still annoying. On top of that, the match was WAY too much sitting around and doing nothing with all of the rest holds and other general standing around based activities. Sid was pretty much gone for good after this.

Undertaker celebrates for awhile as Shawn sucks up to him.

Overall Rating: D+. This certainly isn’t the worse Wrestlemania but it’s also not a good show by any real stretch. The main problem here is that it felt like any other PPV rather than a major show other than the Bret vs. Austin match. On top of that, the main event sucks pretty hard. It wasn’t entertaining and Undertaker wound up being a terrible champion. He couldn’t even main event his own PPV the next month. Anyway, bad show but DEFINITELY see Austin vs. Hart, even if you have before.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

Redo: C-

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 13
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont (Chicago), Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: N/A

The company was severely on the ropes at this point with WCW and the NWO running rampant in WCW. The company was still putting on everything they could think of to keep up in the ratings but at this point it just wasn’t working at all. The television shows weren’t to the levels of the Attitude Era that we remember but they were coming fast.

This show more than any other was the launching pad for the Attitude Era but I’ll get to that when the time is right. The main event for this show is the Undertaker vs. Sid for the title, despite the fact that Steve Austin won the Rumble. This one is a bit complicated but here we go. Austin was eliminated by Hart in the Rumble but came back in without the referees seeing him.

He eventually put Hart and the rest out to win the match and the title shot. That same night, Shawn won the WWF Title back from Sid but had to vacate it due to “losing his smile” (more on that later). This led to a four way match at In Your House between Taker, Vader, Austin and Hart who were the last four men in the Rumble. The next night, Bret defended against Sid, losing due to Austin interfering.

A few weeks later there was a cage rematch, before which Austin and Hart were scheduled for a submission match at Mania. Taker interfered to help Sid, hoping to get a title match at Mania. Austin interfered, hoping to get Hart the title so he would defend it in the I Quit Match. Taker got his wish and the title match with Sid who won the cage match. That all brings us here, so let’s get to it.The show is presented by Playstation. That’s never go anywhere.

The opening video is about how there is an anger growing in the company that has messed up a lot of things recently. That would ultimately be called Attitude. No real opening other than that and it’s time for our opening match.

Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks vs. Godwins vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

This is under elimination rules and the winners get the tag champions tomorrow on Raw. Headbangers were the guys that wore skirts, the Blackjacks were Justin “Don’t call me JBL just yet” Bradshaw and Barry “I had a career once” Windham, the Godwinns you know and Furnas and LaFon were a team that were just kind of around but never did much. They were more famous in ECW and Japan. Not bad, just not great.

Two guys in the ring at once and anyone can tag anyone. We get a quick clip of the original Blackjacks and the new ones say they’re awesome. It’s a big brawl to start of course thanks to the Blackjacks. Henry Godwin and Bradshaw start us off. Bradshaw hasn’t even been able to get his vest off yet. Ah there it goes.

One of the Headbangers in now against Phineas. This is a bit of a mess so far. Now it’s time for the Headbangers to explode but instead they dance a bit. Not as good as Too Cool but they’re trying at least. LaFon comes in and after a bit of a beating for him it’s off to…I think that’s Windham. Furnas comes in and gets a rana for two.

This is going all over the place and it’s hard to get into for the most part. Some Blackjack double teaming results in a suplex for Furnas over the top to the floor. Furnas/LaFon and the Blackjacks get into a brawl on the floor and I think it’s a DQ for the Blackjacks for shoving a ref and Furnas/LaFon are counted out.

It’s down to the Godwins and the Headbangers for the #1 contender spot. This turns into a regular tag match between two teams the feuded for what felt like forever and never got anywhere at all. Henry vs. Thrasher at the moment. Vince clearly doesn’t know which Headbanger is which and it’s kind of funny. Oh and Hillbilly Jim is the manager of the Godwins.

Phineas and Thrasher spit on each other a few times as Vince implies bestiality between Phineas and a few farm animals. Lawler calls Vince out of that and Ross of course talks about food. Mosh beats on Henry a bit and gets a nice springboard clothesline to Henry on the floor. To top that Mosh pops back up onto the apron and we get a Rocket Launcher to send Thrasher onto Henry on the floor.

Jerry asks Vince about White Zombie. Apparently Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonalds. Ok a point there for a funny line. Thrasher misses a moonsault off the top and here come Phineas and Mosh again. Phineas cleans house and there goes Thrasher. Most breaks up the Slop Drop and it’s a big brawl. Mosh gets a top rope seated senton to Phineas to end it out of nowhere. They would lose the next night.

Rating: D+. This was ok, but that’s it. Having two teams go out that fast just didn’t work at all and this might as well have been the Godwinns against the Headbangers. Not terrible, but not great at all. The tag division was a total and complete mess at this point and it didn’t get any better for a few years and then it died completely for the most part.

Brian Pillman and Sunny talk about the WWF Hotline.

Honky Tonk Man joins us on commentary as he continues to look for his protégé. JR says that he and Lawler look like cousins (they really are.) Joke for insiders there. Obviously, Honky is here for the IC Title Match.

Lou Albano and Arnold Skaaland are in the front row.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Rocky Maivia would drop the y Maivia and add a The, becoming far more famous. Sultan is more commonly known as Rikishi and is famous in his own right. At this point, Rock is still a very nervous rookie but he won the future award or something like that the previous night at the Slammys, so the people knew he had it in him. For no apparent reason, Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik are managing Sultan here.

No one, I mean NO ONE, cares about Rocky at this point. Tony Atlas, Rocky’s dad’s former tag partner is here. Honky is looking for a perfect champion or something like that. Rocky is a nervous wreck it seems. He hammers on Sultan which gets him nowhere. Rocky can nip-up which is always cool to see. Sweet goodness how big of a push did both of these guys get in the future?

We head to the floor and Rocky clotheslines the post to give Sultan control. Honky goes into a big rant about how you can’t make mistakes when you’re the champion. That’s very funny considering who Honky is. Clothesline gets two for Sultan and we hit the nerve hold. Honky says he’d already have won the match and be in the dressing room combing his hair. He’s rather funny at this indeed.

Rocky tries to get something going but runs into a knee. Top rope headbutt by Sultan puts Rocky down even longer. One handed cover gets two. Rocky gets a sunset flip but Sultan chokes away instead. Belly to belly by the future Samoan gets two. This is painfully boring by the way. We hit the chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match.

Make that a LONG chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match. Here’s the comeback and it’s a double clothesline. Are they just not wanting this show to be interesting at all? Rocky hammers away and doesn’t do much else. A slam gets two. Rocky’s offense is painfully limited at this point. Maivia Hurricane (Spinning DDT) gets two and Rocky goes up top.

Cross body connects but there’s no referee due to the Sheik. Rocky goes back at Sultan and gets his head kicked off in a nice shot. Naturally it only gets two because an Arabian character can’t win anything in this era of course. Rocky gets one of the worst rollups I’ve ever seen to end this awful match.

Rating: D. How could a Rock match be this boring? This was completely awful and just boring beyond believe. Sultan was somehow less interesting than he would be as heel Rikishi which I didn’t think was possible. Rocky was getting there in the ring but the crowd HATED this gimmick he had so thankfully The Rock was born soon after. Anyway, awful match.

Post match the evildoers do evil and beat down Rocky until the other Rocky, Johnson in this case, comes in to save his son in a moment that is supposed to be charming I think but just extends this already bad segment.

The previous night’s Slammies are recapped.

Ken Shamrock, in this case not a wrestler yet, is the referee for the submission match later on and won’t be intimidated by either guy. He showed what he could do against Billy Gunn. He was a UFC star at the time so this was a big cross promotion thing. He had been what would become the world champion of UFC less than a year ago, so this would be like Randy Couture showing up. Big deal indeed.

HHH says he’s going to destroy Goldust. Chyna is with him and she has NO chest at all.

HHH vs. Goldust

The main point here is that HHH has Chyna who no one knows anything about. She’s supposed to be opposed by Marlena. Think about how this is going to go. HHH had been hitting on Marlena around this time and Goldust wasn’t happy. There’s your backstory. HHH’s music is just freaking sweet for a wrestling theme. When Goldust had his mind right he was a very good worker. Sadly enough that doesn’t happen often.

It’s weird to see Chyna this…manly looking. Yes somehow the more famous version of her was the girly one. Goldie goes into his crouch to start and comes out with the clothesline to get us going. Atomic drop and a clothesline to HHH sends him to the floor. Jerry makes fun of Goldie’s hair and says that Vince has a wig. Vince implies he wears a toupee which has always been a point of uncertainty.

HHH gets tied up in the ropes and it’s all Goldust to start us off here. The future Game can’t get anything going and walks into a powerslam after his tiny bit of offense. Goldust goes up but HHH makes the stop. He sets for a suplex but instead throws him over the ropes and down to the floor where his face hits the apron. Nearly a FREAKING OW MAN moment but not quite.

Helmsley starts to loosen Goldust’s jumpsuit to get better chops in. Why does Goldie’s clothing always come off at Mania? King makes fun of Chyna as HHH takes over completely here. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which was invented by someone named Wilbur Snyder apparently. This show is staying boring for a very long time and it’s not good.

We’re about 45 minutes into this and there hasn’t been a good match yet. Good thing one of the best matches of all time is coming. HHH gets a Flair knee drop for two. Small package from Goldust for two. HHH takes him right back down with a clothesline. Goldust can’t get a slam but can get a cross body for two. And now they hit heads to waste some more time.

HHH tries to go up top but Goldust gets a flying shot to HHH to take him down. Why do I think that’s something the Ambiguously Gay Duo uses as a double team move. HHH eats buckle and Goldust hammers away. Bulldog takes HHH down. Chyna moves for the first time all match, going after Marlena. Goldust has the Curtain Call but has to save Marlena. HHH knocks into Goldust which knocks Marlena into Chyna. Pedigree FINALLY ends this.

Rating: D. This went on nearly 15 minutes. This was far too long and far too boring. We’re almost an hour into this show and there hasn’t been a single good match in sight. Terribly boring match and thankfully this was the last time they fought as HHH started feuding with Cactus soon after this.

Shawn is on AOL and isn’t very good at typing.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

There’s really no backstory here. Mankind now has Paul Bearer as his manager following Bearer’s betrayal of the Undertaker at Summerslam. On the way to the ring, the champions say they’re going to keep the belts. Ross interviews them and the champions also argue over who the leader of the team really is. This is an issue because Bulldog recently beat Owen to win the first ever European Championship.

Heel vs. heel here which isn’t something you see that often, at least not for a title. Owen and Vader start us off which is good as they had a solid match on a European PPV. After getting pounded down for awhile, Hart speeds things up to start which works pretty well, even taking Vader down with a spinwheel kick. Vader finally is like boy I’m Vader and powerbombs him.

Davey breaks up the Vader Bomb and somehow that counts as a tag so it’s Bulldog vs. Mankind. Delayed vertical to Mankind and Vader comes in to break up a pin. Here’s a (non-delayed) suplex for you too Trixie. Vader pulls the rope down as Bulldog hits it, sending him out to the floor. With Bulldog hammering on Mankind Vader drills him with the Urn to take over.

Vader kills Bulldog with a corner splash and adds on a middle rope splash which somehow only gets two. Off to Foley who hammers away on Bulldog in the corner. Backdrop takes Davey down and it’s off to Vader again. I love that move Vader does where he more or less hits a standing splash to take someone down. Davey managers to slam Vader off the top and here comes Owen.

Top rope dropkick takes down Vader and a sunset flip causes Vader to fall down. Cross body gets two. Vader is like screw this and runs him over. Why mess with the basics? The challengers get a Demolition Decapitator to Owen on the floor to more or less end him. Hey Stu and Helen are in the front row! I wonder if the fans know they’re sitting next to perhaps the best trainer of all time.

While Mankind puts on a chinlock we look at the crowd and announce the attendance plus say that we are LIVE. Owen gets a DDT out of nowhere but runs into a knee lift to take him down. We get a Wrestling Classic reference of all things. Vader hammers away at Owen in the corner then calls a spot to him. A suplex is reversed and Owen gets a spin kick to get two.

Out to the floor again and Owen gets a belly to belly suplex on the floor to Mankind. Enziguri back in the ring takes Mankind down and it’s off to Bulldog and Vader. Vader’s mask is off and Davey cleans house. He sets for the powerslam on Mankind but he hooks in the Claw. They get knocked to the floor and Mankind gets the Claw again on the floor. Yep it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here and the ending completely sucked. This was a disjointed mess the entire time and it went over 16 minutes. It’s not completely horrible as the talent in there brings it up (I mean dude, the Bulldog is the worst wrestler in there. That says a lot) but still, this wasn’t anything special in the slightest. A definitive ending would have been nice too.

We recap Bret vs. Austin. Ok here we go. The idea is simple: Bret is losing his place in the company and thinks everyone is out to get him. He isn’t ready to go yet and wants to stay around. After losing the title he left for six months and when he came back the company was different. He talks about how everyone has screwed him over and how he doesn’t like it that well.

There was one guy that Bret thought was the cause of this whole thing: Enter Steve Austin. Austin calls Bret out on his complaining, saying that since he got back he’s done nothing but cry about how much he hates this new WWF. Austin went after Bret and drove him insane, resulting in a huge profanity laced tirade against Vince and the company on Raw.

Bret had already beaten Austin in a classic at Survivor Series, but Austin met up with him again at the Rumble. There Bret eliminated him but Austin came back in and threw Bret out and was declared the winner. Due to Shawn losing his smile, Bret won the title at Final Four and then lost it the next night but still wanted Austin more. Bret’s hatred of this new era was manifested in the form of Austin. The buildup here is incredible to say the least and there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be a classic. The question wasn’t would it be great, but how great would it be.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Ken Shamrock is guest referee due to knowing submissions. Remember that this is submission only. Nice ovation for Shamrock. Austin gets his famous entrance as actual glass shatters in front of the entrance when he walks through. The idea here is simple: Bret is a submissions master, but Austin can beat on you until you say you quit.

Austin gets in Shamrock’s face which goes nowhere. Bret definitely gets a face pop but it’s not as strong as it was before. Just to be clear: Bret is the face and Austin is the heel coming into this without question. Austin spears Bret down almost immediately and the fight is on. They slug it out and hit the floor for more punching. Austin gets sent into the post but manages to crotch Bret on the railing.

A clothesline sends Bret into the crowd. They head into the crowd and thankfully unlike ECW, there’s a camera there to get a good shot of the vast majority of the action. Bret takes over for a bit and there’s a guy with an NWO shirt on. Austin takes over and tries a Piledriver on the steps. Bret manages to backdrop him down the steps to regain control.

Back to ringside and Austin reverses Bret to send him CRASHING into the steps which go flying. He manages to knock the steps into Austin and hammers away. Hey we’re actually in the ring! Austin steps on Bret’s fingers which is a nice move. Spinning neckbreaker gets Bret out of trouble. The fans are still behind him at this point.

Vince bashes Bret saying that he’ll have an excuse for losing. Bret complained about Vince burying him in the commentary on his matches with Austin and he might have a point actually. Bret cannonballs down onto the knee of Austin and the Rattlesnake is in trouble. He works on the knee with his usual attacks but misses a second cannonball.

Austin pops up and drills Bret with a Stunner to take over. No pins though so he doesn’t have a ton to work with. Jerry says that isn’t good as it could cost him the match. Ross jumps in there and says that if someone is unconscious the referee would stop the match. That is a very important line as it establishes the procedure so they can say “we said that’s what we would do” if that came up.

Bret busts out the Heartbreaker (figure four on the post) for I think the first time on PPV and the crowd is into it. No submission of course as we’re not far enough into the match at this point. Bret grabs the bell and the fans aren’t sure about this. Scratch that as he gets the chair and tries to Pillmanize the leg. Yep the fans still love him.

Austin gets up and CRACKS Bret with the chair as he goes up to the top. Austin is all fired up now and pops Bret across the back with the chair. The fans sound afraid to cheer. Suplex puts Bret down. Middle rope elbow, a Bret move, hits for Austin. Ross gets in some GREAT jabs at WCW, talking about how this is a fight, not about covering a bald spot and various other jokes like that.

Stone Cold hits a Russian Leg Sweep (stealing the Five Moves of Doom again and busts out a Koji Clutch of all things. Never let it be said that Austin can’t wrestle when he has to. Boston Crab goes on to further work on the back. A rope is grabbed though and Austin isn’t happy at all.

Austin tries a Sharpshooter to a GREAT pop. Jerry: “Bret Hart could never submit to the Sharpshooter!” Vince: “Hey it could happen!” I wonder if Vince had some plans for Montreal already. Austin throws Bret to the floor to BIG heat. It’s very interesting to keep an eye or ear in this case on the crowd and see what they think of this match.

Out to the floor and Bret reverses Austin into the timekeeper’s table and ultimately the railing. Austin is busted open and now we get into the meat of this one. Bret hammers away on the cut to a pop but a far more mild one. Backbreaker and elbow off the middle rope from Bret and he grabs the chair. Down into the knee and Ross is morphing into JR.

Sharpshooter coming but Austin rakes the eyes to break it up. Bret hammers in the corner so Austin punts him in the balls which Vince says might have been deserved. Vince be nice. Austin wakes up and turns into the Rattlesnake, stomping the mudhole on Bret in the corner and adding a middle rope suplex for good measure. He gets the electrical cord from ringside and wraps it around Bret’s neck.

He tries to hang Bret over the top rope but Bret grabs the bell. He DRILLS Austin in the head with it to a pop from the crowd. They’re not sure what to do now. There’s the Sharpshooter and everyone rises to their feet. We get one of the most famous images in wrestling history as Austin screams in agony with the blood gushing down his head.

Austin starts to lose consciousness and JR is in his element here, shouting the entire time and it’s just great. For the first time ever, Austin breaks the Sharpshooter but Bret gets it right back on. Crowd is completely behind Austin here. He keeps fighting but eventually passes out and Shamrock stops it. Austin is DEAD but Bret isn’t done.

Bret tries to go after Austin again and the heat on him is insane. Shamrock grabs Bret and throws him off Austin. Ken is all like BRING IT ON but Bret walks away to some of the loudest booing you’ll ever here. Austin tries to get up and Shamrock leaves. Another referee tries to help Austin but he gets stunned. Austin walks to the back on his own and gets a standing ovation. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the double turn. The fans chant for Austin as he goes to the back, and the WWF has its savior.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time. It’s a war from start to finish and also one of the most complex matches you’ll ever see. Bret was fighting time and the new Attitude in the form of Austin and despite the absolute best he could do, he couldn’t get his way in the end.

The fans are as big a part of this match as the guys out there, making Austin the new hero and Bret the top heel in the company in a single match. That’s hardly ever done and this is the perfection of it. Excellent match and 100% required viewing for fans, as well as the only reason to watch this show at all.

Also, some people, myself included, believe that that match was the official dawning of the Attitude Era. Truly historic.

The blood stain on the mat is kind of creepy. The announcers talk about what we just saw and how awesome it was.

The Nation talks about how they’re going to take it to the Legion of Doom and Ahmed.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and about the 19th blowoff to Ahmed vs. the Nation. The Nation has like 8 guys with them here but the official team is Farroq/Crush/Savio Vega. The Nation would have actors come out with them to make the Nation look bigger which is kind of a great idea. We hear that Mania 14 is in Boston but tickets aren’t on sale yet.

Remember this is the LOD’s hometown so they’re mad over. Ahmed even has the spikes going on. Ahmed is the original Ezekiel Jackson if you aren’t familiar with him. The LOD brings a kitchen sink with them, starting a joke that was funny a grand total of once. This is going to be a big old wild brawl.

The Nation jumps the good guys as they’re taking off their pads. Crush gets left alone in the ring and then the lackeys come in. Yeah that doesn’t work. No tags here thank goodness. The lawyer gets beaten up, prompting JR to shout that he just got debriefed! The nightstick comes into play as there is too much to call here.

Ahmed JUMPS over the railing with a tope con hilo into the crowd. Not bad for a guy that weighed about 280. Since that isn’t good enough he jumps back over it with a big shoulder block to take down Crush. Hawk swings a big board at Savio but it hits the rope and flies into the air. He catches it but misses Savio. Farrooq gets….I think that was supposed to be a piledriver on the French announce table but they fall off to the side.

The board is used on Hawk in the ring. Total insanity here. Farrooq gets shot in the face by a fire extinguisher. The guy that would become known as D’lo brings out a street sign. This is pure anarchy. Ahmed blocks a trash can shot and puts Farrooq through the French announce table. Crowd is totally behind LOD. The fire extinguisher is used again.

It’s rope time and apparently they’re going to lynch Ahmed. Animal CRACKS Farrooq with that sign. Back to the lynching, this time with Hawk getting in trouble. Crush hits Animal with a wrench of all things. Farrooq goes up with the rope in hand and gets pulled down to the floor by Hawk. Things start to slow down a lot due to exhaustion.

There goes the fire extinguisher again. Spinebuster to Farrooq by Ahmed and I think it’s Hawk firing the extinguisher at Crush. The Nation jumps into the ring and they all beat down Ahmed but the LOD pick off Crush and it’s a Doomsday Device for him. The 2×4 is used as a clothesline to take down Farrooq for the pin. Post match PG-13 takes Doomsday Devices and D’Lo takes a Pearl River Plunge.

Rating: B+. That’s probably way too high but I loved this match when I was a kid and I loved it here. It’s a total brawl from the minute the bell rang and they kept it up for about ten minutes. All kinds of weapons, all kinds of violence and Ahmed showing off the whole time. This match was very fun and they did exactly what they said it would be: a fight. Fun match.

In Your House is back next month. I think that would be Revenge of the Taker which was pretty good.

Here’s Shawn to do commentary on the main event. This was kind of a big issue as he was supposed to lose the title back to Bret in the rematch here. Obviously that didn’t happen as he “injured his knee” which he’s hinted at being fake over the years. His entrance takes forever as he’s limping and high fives everyone in sight.

Sid flubs his lines and says he isn’t afraid of the Deadman. Can we PLEASE get someone to say something else when they’re fighting Taker? It can’t be that hard, truly it can’t be.

WWF World Title: Sid vs. Undertaker

This is happening due to Shawn sitting out. It was supposed to be Bret vs. Shawn but Austin was substituted in for Shawn to face Bret. I’m assuming Austin would have gotten one of these guys instead but that’s never been fully answered. It’s weird seeing no Bearer with Taker in this time period. They’re filling in time here as Taker’s entrance takes forever. Shawn and Taker’s combined have taken about six minutes. Also, when’s the last time you saw Taker come out first?

JR points out that Taker has never lost at Wrestlemania, although he doesn’t mention the Streak directly. I love Sid’s pyro. Always awesome. And here comes Bret Hart to take some spotlight up. Vince cuddles Shawn, telling him not to go after Bret in a funny bit. Bret says he and Taker aren’t friends anymore and that Sid is a fraud as champion. He complains a lot and gets powerbombed for his troubles. Sid yells at him and Taker jumps him to start us off.

This might be the least interesting Mania main event in a very long time. Big boot by Taker and he throws Sid into the corner and hammers away even more. Splash in the corner and we hear about Taker never being given the chance to lead the company which is rather true indeed. Old School hits and Shawn says neither is used to not being the bigger man. One is listed at 6’10 and one is listed at 6’9. Wouldn’t one be bigger?

Sid throws on a bearhug as I guess he needed a rest two minutes in. He hammers away as the fans are more or less silent. They’re not sure who to cheer for as Sid is almost universally popular but Taker is Taker. Sid knocks him to the floor and Taker is sent onto the French announce table. Why pick on the Spanish when you can pick on the French I guess.

Gorilla has sent in word that this is No DQ. Good to know. Sid’s offense is rather limited shall we say. Camel clutch goes on as we rest even more. Middle rope double axe handle takes down Taker. Taker whispers powerslam to Sid, Sid says “HUH” Taker whispers again. Powerslam gets two for Sid.

Sid chokes away as this is so boring. Jerry and Shawn make fun of Bret to pass the time. Big right hand in the corner by Sid. Shawn says you can’t beat Sid while he’s standing up. What incredible insight! To the floor and Taker sends him over the railing. They slug it out over the railing and Sid comes back to ringside again. Back into the ring with Taker having a slight advantage.

Yep it’s another rest hold. This one goes on for awhile as have the vast majority of them so far in this match. Taker fights up from his knees and gets a powerslam to take Sid down for two. Oh look it’s ANOTHER rest hold, in this case a nerve hold. Big boot is blocked by a clothesline by Taker for two. Double big boot spot and both guys are down. Can someone put on a test pattern to give us something interesting to watch?

Sid crawls over to get two. He gets another axe handle off the middle rope for two. A clothesline gets no cover as we’re filling in time until the ending here. Another double axe gets punched in the ribs but Sid rakes the eyes to break the momentum. Sid goes up for like the 9th time but Taker stops him for once. Taker gets a top rope clothesline of his own for two.

Neither guy will go for their finishers yet and Jerry thinks they’re afraid of a kickout. Taker slits the throat but Sid reverses into one of his own. Wow that actually worked. Naturally it only gets two because this is Wrestlemania. They slug it out on the floor and Bret Hart pops up again to hit Sid in the back with a chair. Taker rams Sid into the post and back in the ring a chokeslam gets two. Jumping clothesline is ducked and Sid sets for the powerbomb. Bret comes back AGAIN and clotheslines Sid on the top rope. Tombstone gives Taker his second world title.

Rating: D. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. This is one of the most lackluster matches I can remember in a long time. After two very good matches, one being a classic, just before this, this is a terrible way to end the show. Who though Sid going over 21 minutes was a good idea in the slightest? Taker’s title reign, much like this match, was boring. The commentary would make you believe he never held the title before.

Taker poses with the belt to end the show. Shawn applauds for like two minutes straight. Sid was gone after this.

Overall Rating: D. This is a show where one match was supposed to be a classic and it was. The other good match was more or less by accident and meant nothing. This was a bad time for the company but the brighter days were coming. The Border War was coming soon and it would breathe life into the company. Montreal would be the big break they needed and then Starrcade 97 completely saved them. The rest is history. If you didn’t guess, I’m trying not to talk or think about this show anymore. Terrible Mania and one of the worst ever.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And believe it or not, it’s a mixed bag.

These things really pile up, though that might be because WWE likes to crank them out at a crazy rate. That being said, they’re mostly good so let’s take a look at a few of them, plus something from a long time ago.

Untold: The Second Coming Of ECW

This is a series called Untold which only has a few episodes so far. It’s basically a mini documentary over a given subject with this one being WWECW. In short, the ECW Originals completely bury the thing while some of the people who came up on the show like it a bit better. Paul Heyman sums it up perfectly: if this show was ANYTHING other than ECW, it would have been fine.

Even Big Show has to admit that his match against Batista that drew the CHANGE THE CHANNEL chants was a disaster and that’s putting it mildly. The fans wanted ECW and got WWE3, which was never going to work. Not much new here, but it’s rare to see WWE admit that they completely botched something this badly.

Arrival: Matt Riddle

I believe this one aired in parts on one of WWE’s YouTube channel but this is the full (and still short) edition. Riddle is a former UFC fighter and seems to be one of the most can’t miss prospects in years, which has seemed to be the case every time he’s been on NXT TV. This is basically an introduction to him as we see his transition from the indies to WWE.

Riddle comes off as the most laid back, likable guy who happens to be incredibly talented. He’s also an athletic freak who can work with almost anyone, meaning it’s a matter of time before he shatters through the glass ceiling. If WWE doesn’t go that way I don’t know what to tell them, because Riddle is awesome both in and out of the ring. If you’re not familiar with him, check this out and see what WWE has waiting in the wings.

The Mark Henry Story

Now this one was surprising as Henry’s strongman stuff got a lot of focus and you got to see just how great he was. The main thing that stood out here though was how charismatic and entertaining Henry can be. He was making me laugh throughout, which just made me wonder where that Henry was throughout his 20+ year career (yes 20+). If you had someone with those physical gifts and that kind of entertainment value, he could have been a much bigger star than before.

It was cool to hear Henry get this kind of praise as he’s not really the kind of guy who gets that much attention. I was never the biggest fan of him but this one gave me a lot more respect for the guy. It’s a rare thing for me to want to hear and see more of someone but I was wanting to hear more from Henry after this. He could have been a lot more than he was, though when you’re literally the strongest man in the world, why deviate from that style?

Chronicle: Roman Reigns

This is the main event for the documentaries as no one with a soul didn’t feel at least somewhat bad for Reigns. This covers the time from the night he announced his diagnosis to his return, without much actually being covered in the middle. We see a lot of the day of his return announcement with a long time spent at Georgia Tech’s football stadium where Reigns played college football. It’s good stuff though and the thing flies by.

That being said, the biggest thing I took from this was how human Reigns felt. You don’t get that from Reigns when he’s on TV for the most part but he came off as very likable and charming here, which is how they should present him more often. In other words, act like he’s a human instead of this monster who gets pushed whether you like him or not. Give us this side of him and people might actually like the guy a lot more. It’s not like much else has worked.

Ted DiBiase: The Million Dollar Man

DiBiase has written two autobiographies, one on his own and the other with WWE. This is the latter and….it’s really not very good. Dibiase has an interesting enough story and is absolutely a legend, but the writing is rather bland and the conversations/dialogue are written as generically as possible (fair enough, but not exactly entertaining reading).

It’s one of those wrestling books where you get the basic story, a few details, and not much else. What amazed me was the amount of factual errors (Randy Savage was a heel at Wrestlemania IV? Bret Hart and Lex Luger were both named King of the Ring for being eliminated from the Royal Rumble at the same time?), which you don’t often see from a WWE product. If you’re a HUGE DiBiase fan then maybe skim through it for some pretty good stories, but don’t waste your time (which won’t be much as it’s a short book).

Smackdown
Date: October 14, 2004
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first ever Smackdown in England and we’re coming off a big surprise last week when the debuting Carlito Caribbean Cool won the US Title from John Cena. That wasn’t it though as Cena was attacked in a nightclub after the show, meaning he probably won’t be here tonight. However, we do get Hardcore Holly vs. JBL in a hardcore match for the World Title. That’s WWE’s gift to England: a Hardcore Holly title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Teddy Long addresses the roster, including Rey Mysterio in a black suit, about Cena’s condition. Apparently he wanted this to be kept quiet, which makes me wonder why it was mentioned on Raw. Cena was stabbed in the kidney and it’s not clear when he will be back. The show must go on and now we need a #1 contender to the US Title. Therefore, it’s a battle royal later tonight for a shot later tonight. The roster is happy and leaves with Carlito coming in to say what happened to Cena was bound to happen sooner or later.

Opening sequence.

The color seems a bit more washed out for some reason. Must be a British thing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree rants in French, which somehow gets Kenzo Suzuki ejected. I’m not sure I get the connection there. Van Dam starts fast and monkey flips Dupree out to the floor but misses a suicide dive. The chinlock doesn’t last long for Dupree as he switches to the French Tickler, earning himself a SCARY release German suplex with Van Dam dropping him on the back of the head. Thankfully Dupree can still walk and even knocks Rob down before going outside for a chair. Rob kicks him in the face though and hits the Five Star for a fast pin.

The announcers get serious to talk about Heidenreich going into the crowd and attacking fans last week. The only thing we see is a kid crying for an effective visual.

Theodore Long yells at Paul Heyman for Heidenreich’s actions and rants about being responsible for the fans’ safety. They’re just lucky that they didn’t get sued. Tonight, Heyman and Heidenreich are going to apologize and they better be sincere. If Undertaker comes out there, they can deal with it.

Charlie Haas vs. Billy Kidman

Haas has a bad knee and no Jackie due to a neck injury, both suffered at Kidman’s hands. Charlie chokes away in the corner to start so Kidman gets smart and kicks at the knee like any intelligent villain. The knee gets wrapped around the post so here’s Dawn Marie to check on Charlie. Kidman doesn’t mind and hits the shooting star onto the knee for the pin. Using that as a weapon is an interesting way to go and Kidman has gotten a lot better in short order.

Post match Charlie gets put on a stretcher as Dawn screams a lot.

Luther Reigns rubs oil on himself and hits on the Page 3 girls. If they’re lucky, they’ll see him in action after the show too. They’re already seeing someone tonight though and of course that’s Eddie Guerrero. Reigns calls that a mistake and isn’t happy. Oh and he lied: they’re not that hot.

JBL is annoyed at what Undertaker did to him at No Mercy and now he has to face Hardcore Holly tonight. He’s a technical wrestler like Mil Mascaras or Bret Hart instead of a brawler. Now he has to come over here and defend the title in front of these barbaric fans. No one cares about England anyway but if the country was getting an enema, he would start it right here in Manchester. I’m sure Bret loved the comparison and stolen line in the same promo.

We look back at Cena losing the US Title last week.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, Nunzio, Johnny Stamboli, Orlando Jordan, Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Spike Dudley, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Rico, Scotty 2 Hotty, Rob Van Dam, Eddie Guerrero, Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki, Funaki

The winner gets a US Title shot later tonight and I think I’ve got everyone. The fans are behind Eddie as everyone starts punching to start. Eddie backdrops Jordan out for the first elimination and Funaki follows him out thanks to Angle. Dupree and Suzuki throw Nunzio out but Dupree dumps Suzuki immediately thereafter. Stamboli and Spike go out next as the ring is cleared out a bit.

The remaining Dudleys get rid of Van Dam (pretty early elimination for him) as the fans are still behind Eddie. Rey gets rid of Bubba and D-Von at the same time and Rob runs back in to dive onto Bubba as we take a break. Back with no more eliminations and Eddie raking Reigns’ eyes to get out of a gorilla press attempt. Scotty hits the Worm on Kidman, which seems a good bit excessive and indeed, Angle uses the distraction to toss Scotty without much effort.

Rico slugs away at Dupree and then kisses him, sending Rene over the top to eliminate himself. Rey headscissors Kidman out and Jindrak tosses Rico. We’re down to Mysterio, Guerrero, Angle, Jindrak and Reigns for a solid handicap match. Eddie hurricanranas Jindrak out in a hurry but gets knocked out as well to leave us with three. Eddie isn’t done though and distracts Reigns, allowing Rey to dropkick him out. Angle slams him down hard but it’s too early to throw him out.

A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble but the ankle lock over the rope makes it even worse. Angle grabs a suplex and throws him over the ropes again but still can’t stomp him out. A springboard dropkick staggers Angle and there’s a tornado DDT for good measure. They fight up top with Rey crotching Angle but only being able to knock him to the apron. The 619 is blocked and the straps come down but Rey hurricanranas him to the apron. This time the 619 to the back is enough to give Rey the win and the title shot.

Rating: B-. They had a lot of potential with the final five but went straight to the final two instead. The good thing is those two worked very well together and the last stretch was good. Rey as the first challenger to Carlito is a nice choice and the match advanced some feuds at the same time. It was long but didn’t feel long, which is about as good as you can get for a match like this.

Post break Rey is proud of his win but Carlito comes up to interrupt. He wants the title match tonight (which I thought was already established), as long as Rey doesn’t mind wrestling twice in one night. Rey says it’s on and turns away like a moron, allowing Carlito to deck him and spit the apple.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

JBL is defending in a hardcore match and comes out in a Rolls-Royce. Holly goes with the dropkick to start and clotheslines the champ outside as it’s already time for the weapons. He takes a bit too long looking at them though and gets sent into the steps, leaving JBL to look at them too long as well. That means a street sign to the head over and over before sending JBL into the announcers’ table.

A monitor to the head doesn’t do much to Holly as he comes back with a cricket bat. For the third time so far, Holly takes too long to swing something and gets kicked in the face. The fans want tables but have to settle for Holly backdropping out of a piledriver attempt and trashcaning JBL in the head. The steps take too long though and a nasty chair to the head retains JBL’s title.

Rating: C+. These two have chemistry together and they were smart to keep this short. Holly isn’t going to be taken seriously as a challenger so they were smart to get in and get out with the hard weapons shots being the focus. It’s not like this was anything more than a way to kill time before JBL’s next challenger emerges but at least we got some far better than expected matches.

We see Heidenreich making the kid cry again.

British fans are glad to have Smackdown.

Here are Heyman and Heidenreich to apologize. Heyman gives a simple one and makes Heidenreich read one off a paper. That’s not it though as Heidenreich says he’s sorry for what happened last week, but not what he did to Undertaker at No Mercy. That was done with malice and intent and now, he wants Undertaker to bring the fight to him. With no Undertaker appearing, Heidenreich heads outside and threatens some people, including Heyman, before letting it go.

We look back at Eddie Guerrero cheating to beat Luther Reigns at No Mercy.

Chavo Guerrero is back next week.

US Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is banged up and challenging. Feeling out process to start until Rey gets sent to the apron for a quick springboard seated senton. Carlito is back up with a shot to the ribs but gets knocked off the apron for a heck of a dive from Mysterio. Back from a break with Rey in an armbar (better than a chinlock) before being thrown face first out to the floor. The armbar goes on again but this time Rey fights up and hits a dropkick for his second escape.

Something close to la majistral gives Rey two and a tornado DDT is good for the same. Carlito gets back up and just throws Rey into the air for a crash before getting two off a flying armbar. A hammerlock slam stays on the arm but Carlito decides to go up for the rather obvious dive into raised boots. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop, which is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Rey finally makes a rope so Carlito rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I liked this way better than the Cena match last week as it had more of a focus and wasn’t just Carlito getting destroyed until he stole a win. The arm work was fine and Carlito cheating when he couldn’t win through normal means worked well. A win over Mysterio will help solidify Carlito, who needs to establish himself so soon out of the gate.

More Tough Enough contestants.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Eddie rides in with the Page 3 girls. Reigns isn’t happy and goes after him to start but gets dropkicked down for his efforts. That earns him a crotching and a belly to back suplex as Reigns is mad enough that he throws Eddie’s shirt to the floor. A few backbreakers keep Eddie in trouble with Reigns bending the back over his knee for some extra pain. Eddie dances up though and slugs away but the Third Amigo is blocked. Reigns’ swinging neckbreaker is countered as Eddie walks the ropes into something like a Sliced Bread #2 but an invading Jindrak breaks up the frog splash. Reigns throws him into the steps for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not enough time here as they only had a few minutes before a DQ ending. That being said, Reigns is FAR better in the short form matches as he’s really not able to do much aside from the basics. Jindrak interfering to mess with Eddie is fine, though there’s still not much to care about with Jindrak so far. Has he actually won a match yet?

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Angle with the clippers. Big Show makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a well paced show as they kept things moving and nothing felt like it was longer than it needed to be. They advanced some of the stories as well and while it’s a long way before we get to Survivor Series, there’s at least enough to keep me interested going forward. More than anything else, I’m surprised at how tolerable JBL has been as champion. Maybe the bad comes later, but so far it’s been acceptable. Granted that might change over time, but I can’t complain much about the recent months. Good show here, and one of the better ones in a few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Saturday Night’s Main Event #11
Date: May 2, 1987
Location: Edmund P. Joyce Center, Notre Dame, Indiana
Attendance: 9,345
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

We’re after Wrestlemania III now and that means it’s time for the annual post-Wrestlemania fallout show.  In other words it’s time for some lighter stuff here, including Randy SAvage vs. George Steele….again.  Savage of course lost the Intercontinental Title to Ricky Steamboat at Wrestlemania III and Steamboat is defending here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Savage vs. Steele, including Steele costing Savage the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania III. Savage promises that this is the final showdown in a lumberjack match.

Steamboat says Savage never learns, and that’s why he’s defending tonight.

The Hart Foundation is sick of hearing the Bulldogs whine about cheating them out of the titles. Tonight is the long awaited rematch.

Somewhat newcomer Jim Duggan has a front row seat and promises to stop Nikolai Volkoff from singing the Russian national anthem.

Bobby Heenan, wearing a neck brace, says Andre is still undefeated and he has the video proof.

Hogan is going to show us how he faced his greatest challenge.

Opening sequence.

We see a clip from earlier today, likely on TV, of a debate between Bobby Heenan and Ken Patera. Heenan ran his mouth off and Patera beat the tar out of him, necessitating the neck brace. This isn’t referenced for the rest of the show.

Kamala’s new manager Mr. Fuji says he’ll help Kamala overcome his fear of snakes. Kamala is panicking in the background.

We get a clip from Jake Roberts’ Snake Pit segment where Honky Tonk Man blasted him in the head with a guitar, all the way back in February.

Roberts says Damien wants to face Kamala, sending Okerlund running for cover.

Jake Roberts vs. Kamala

Damien scares Kamala out to the floor but the giant finally sneaks in behind him and nails Jake. That’s fine with Roberts who comes back with some right hands until Kamala gets in a shot to the throat. Off to an early bearhug until Jake goes after the leg, just like he did against Bundy last time. He even stomps on Kamala’s bare feet until Kamala clobbers him with a chop to the head.

Roberts gets choked on the apron but he draws Kamala out to the floor for a chase, allowing Jake to score with a pair of knee lifts coming back in. Fuji offers a distraction though, allowing Kim Chee to nail Jake from behind. Kamala’s big splash is enough for the pin, much to Jesse’s delight.

Rating: D+. This was a step beneath the Bundy match from last time but Kamala isn’t quite as talented as Bundy. I like Jake’s methods of dealing with monsters, especially going with the kicks to the legs to slow them down. It’s a passable match, but when is Jake going to actually win something on this show?

Post match Kim Chee takes off his jacket and mask to reveal the Honky Tonk Man. Roberts gets laid out again with the Shake Rattle and Roll swinging neckbreaker. This was kind of odd given that Honky Tonk Man won the match at Wrestlemania III.

We see some quick clips of Hogan vs. Andre.

George Steele doesn’t seem to understand the idea of a lumberjack match. He’s worried that he’ll never see Elizabeth again.

After we see Kim Chee and Honky Tonk Man as lumberjacks, Ricky Steamboat accuses Okerlund of trying to confuse Steele. He’ll be escorting Steele to the ring as a thank you for Wrestlemania III.

Savage says tonight is all about vengeance and he’ll be getting his title back.

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

There are fourteen (advertised as fifteen) lumberjacks, including the Hart Foundation, Danny Davis, the British Bulldogs, Nikolai Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Ricky Steamboat, Jim Duggan, Hercules, Kim Chee, Honky Tonk Man and the Can-Am Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel). Savage gets mad at Steele for oogling Elizabeth and attacks, only to be sent out to the floor. Steele whips him across the ring and shouts YOU as Savage unsuccessfully tries to roll outside again.

A face claw sends Savage to the floor but the lumberjacks throw him back in. This time it’s Savage taking him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs before tossing Steele outside. The bad guys try to beat him down but Duggan makes the save with a 2×4. Duggan even gets in the ring to chase Volkoff and Sheik, earning him an ejection. We take a break and come back with Steele still on the floor and headbutting Davis.

Back in and Steele slams Savage before eating a turnbuckle. Savage tries to bail to the floor but Steamboat is right there waiting to throw him back inside. More biting ensues and George throws him to the floor again, triggering a brawl with Steamboat. All of the lumberjacks start brawling, allowing Davis to sneak in with the ring bell to knock George sillier. The big elbow gives Savage the pin.

Rating: D. I’m so sick of these two fighting but thankfully this is the last of their series. As has been my issue since their first match: it’s always the same stuff, over and over with nothing really changing. The lumberjacks helped here, but there’s just no interest in seeing them fight yet again.

The lumberjacks get in a big brawl until Roberts runs in with the snake to clean house and go after Kim Chee and Honky Tonk Man. Chee has to run from the snake.

We go to Heenan and Andre in a sitdown interview. Heenan says they won at Wrestlemania III but all of the referees are biased towards Hogan. Bobby shows us the video of the opening of the match where Hogan tried a slam but Andre fell on top of him for a three count, but Hogan had his shoulder up at two. The referee called it a two count though and the match continued. Andre doesn’t know what the referee is trying to pull but he should be the champion. That’s the controversy that would set up the rematch down the road.

The Hart Foundation is thrilled to give the Bulldogs their rematch. Danny Davis goes after Okerlund and has to be pulled back.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

The Harts are defending and this is 2/3 falls due to the Harts using crooked referee Danny Davis to win the titles back in January. Tito Santana, Danny Davis and Jimmy Hart are all at ringside but the Bulldogs have their actual bulldog Matilda with them to go after Jimmy, sending him running for cover. Davey and Bret get things going with Smith flipping around to grab a wristlock. Bret counters into a headlock, only to take a monkey flip to put him back down.

They start to run the ropes but Hart buries a knee in Smith’s ribs to take over again. Off to Neidhart to slam Davey’s head into the mat. Hart sends him into the buckle but misses a charge, allowing for the hot tag off to Dynamite Kid. Things speeds up and the snap suplex gets two on Bret. Everything breaks down and Tito chases Davis around ringside as the Harts double team Dynamite for the DQ to end the first fall.

The second fall begins after a break with the Harts still double teaming Dynamite. A modified version of what would become known as the Demolition Decapitator (backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination) gets two but Dynamite comes back with a headbutt, drawing a nice flow of blood. Davey chases Bret and Davis around ringside before Bret nails Dynamite from behind to keep the advantage.

Hart misses a charge into the ropes though and Davey comes back in off the hot tag to clean house. A vertical suplex gets two on Neidhart but he comes back with a shot to the ribs to stop Davey cold. The Harts collide though and Santana nails Davis again and Davey throws Dynamite on top of Neidhart for the pin and the titles.

Or not actually as there’s an obscure rule that says if one fall in a 2/3 falls match is a disqualification, the title can’t change hands. This is the first and only time this rule is referenced on this show. Remember that for a show in about two years. I’ll give them this though: the fans went insane for the near title change and their anger at the surprise ending was great.

Rating: B-. This was a solid match with a screwy ending, which would be the case far more times than it should have been. These teams had excellent chemistry together due to knowing each other so well from their Stampede Wrestling days. The Harts are starting to dominate the division and establish themselves as one of the best teams of all time.

We go to Hogan for his take on the controversial count. He looks at the slam attempt but doesn’t make much of the near fall, saying he knew what he had to do after the referee said two. Hogan would be fine with a rematch but there’s no way he’s being stripped of the title. Hulkamania will live forever, long after he’s gone.

Steamboat is ready to defend his title for the first time on this show and has come too far to be stopped by the likes of Bobby Heenan.

Randy Savage is shown in the back, freaking out over the idea of Steamboat losing to anyone other than him. That’s an interesting idea that makes things feel so much more personal.

Intercontinental Title: Hercules vs. Ricky Steamboat

The champ tries to go straight at Hercules to start and is easily knocked away. Realizing that isn’t getting him anywhere, Ricky opts for some dropkicks to knock Hercules out to the floor instead. Hercules comes back by sending him into the post as we see Savage giving Steamboat something resembling a pep talk if you had put it in a blender. It actually works though as Ricky fights back with some chops and a snapmare, only to eat an uppercut. A neckbreaker drops Hercules again but he pops up and slaps on his full nelson finisher.

Cue Savage to come out and grab Hercules’ foot to break up the hold, sending Heenan into a frenzy. We take a break and come back with Hercules slamming the champ down but missing a big elbow drop. More chops have Hercules reeling but he brings Steamboat out of the corner with an atomic drop. In a fairly stupid ending, Heenan throws Hercules a chain to draw the DQ, just as Hercules had taken over again.

Rating: D+. This was all storyline as the fans were drooling over the idea of Savage going over to the good side and saving Steamboat from the beating. The last few months had made the fans respect Savage despite how evil he was for one simple reason: at the end of the day, the fans are going to respond to good wrestling and talented workers. The match was nothing special though.

Savage teases helping Steamboat but runs to the top for the big elbow instead, crushing the fans’ hopes again.

Jim Duggan is in the front row with a ticket (without a location, date, show name or anything suggesting that there’s any effort put into it), saying he will not let Volkoff sing his national anthem again.

Slick says Volkoff can sing under the Freedom of Speech. They have the right to party. The COMMUNIST Party!

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Can-Am Connection

Volkoff starts singing and takes a 2×4 upside the head. We take a break and come back with Volkoff somehow not in traction and hammering on Martel in the corner, only to take a dropkick. Sheik takes a double hiptoss but he sends Zenk’s head into Volkoff’s boot. A pair of suplexes get a pair of twos for Sheik before it’s back to Nikolai for a kick to the ribs and another to the back.

Sheik gets two more off a belly to belly and puts on an abdominal stretch. Zenk fights out but eats a clothesline, allowing Sheik to spit on him. The villains double team Zenk on the floor as Duggan is about to explode. Duggan gets in with the board, offering a distraction so Martel can roll Sheik up for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a match here to fill in that late part of the show when most of the audience had gone to bed. Duggan chasing around the evil foreigner of the month would keep him employed for years because it’s as basic of a story as you’re going to find in wrestling. The Connection was good but they needed a better opponent and an actual match instead of an angle disguised as one.

The wrap up ends things.

Overall Rating: D. The Tag Team Title match is worth checking out but they’re just in a holding pattern at the moment before the big stuff starts later in the year. This wasn’t the best show to go on before summer break but when you’re coming off the biggest show ever, you have to expect a bit of a cooling off period.

Wrestlemania XI
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is one of the dark Wrestlemanias in that it was a very bad time for the company. That being said, the show was very well received and wound up being kind of a saving grace for the WWF. The main events are Diesel defending the title against Shawn (shocking I know) and Bam Bam Bigelow vs. NFL Hall of Famer (not at this point though) Lawrence Taylor. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from every Wrestlemania. That’s a nice idea, especially for back then when you can do this in 90 seconds. Today it would take way too long. Apparently Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy and others are starring in this show. Good to know indeed.

A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful. Nothing wrong with that.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

I don’t remember if Allied Powers was their official name but it’s Luger/British Bulldog. The Brothers are whatever name you best know the Harris Brothers by, which is most likely the DOA. The timing of this redo is perfect, as their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently Zeb Colter, manager of Jack Swagger. It’s a big brawl to start and the good guys hit stereo powerslams to take over. Bulldog and we’ll say Jacob (partner of Eli) start and there’s the delayed vertical after only a few seconds.

Off to a headlock by the Brit as Vince sounds like he’s in an auditorium for some reason. The Brothers take over with heel power moves and it’s off to Eli for a side slam. A double big boot from the twins puts Bulldog right back down but Bulldog starts firing off right hands. With the referee holding the Bulldog back, the Brothers pull a switch but they switch back just a few seconds later. That’s some high quality leadership there Zeb.

We’ll say Jacob takes too much time on a middle rope elbow so the British guy moves. Hot tag brings in Luger and house is cleaned. There’s a powerslam and the steel forearm smash gets two. Zebekiah interferes and the twins switch again, allowing Eli to kick out of the forearm which didn’t hit him. Not that it matters as British hits a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere. Not that he was legal or anything but who cares?

Rating: C-. This match uh…..exists I guess. Seriously that’s all I’ve got here. It wasn’t a good match or anything but I’ve seen worse. That’s the problem here: it’s so average that it’s barely worth talking about. Luger would be gone in a few months back to WCW, which was the best move as he was doing stuff like this for the next six months or so. Nothing to see here at all and a really odd choice for a match and especially the opener.

Apparently that win deserves fireworks. If that’s the high point of the show, we’re in BIG trouble.

Zebekiah demands justice because the wrong Blu got pinned.

Nicholas Turturro is supposed to interview Pamela Anderson but we have audio difficulties.

Lawler explains football: it’s just like the post office. “Eleven guys spend an hour trying to move a small object 100 yards.” Andy Griffith he is not.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett, the champion, has a manager here named The Roadie who would become Jesse James, making this the ultimate battle of the double initials. This is a rematch from the Rumble where Ramon got counted out but agreed to come back in where he lost the title when his knee gave out. The 1-2-3 Kid is with Razor to counteract the Roadie. Razor decks Jeff to start and the champion immediately heads to the floor. That’s nice of him as it allows Razor’s pyro to go off.

A big right hand takes Jarrett down and Razor clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip out of the corner by the champion is blocked by a right hand. Ramon keeps up his barrage of punches by faking Jarrett out and punching him even more. Roadie bails Jarrett out of the Razor’s Edge and the champion regroups a bit on the floor.

Back inside and Roadie cheats a bit with some choking, only to have Jeff miss a charge and land on him. All Razor so far. Back in again and Jarrett hits a swinging neckbreaker and some dropkicks to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before things speed up with both guys getting near falls. Jarrett hooks a sleeper that lasts even less time than the chinlock so Jeff punches him down and hooks another chinlock.

Razor escapes again via a suplex but both guys are down. They get up at the same time and collide to put them down again. That’s a bit of overkill but whatever. Again they get up and a double punch puts them down for a third time. Ramon comes back with more punches and they actually stay up for once. A fallaway slam gets two and there’s the discus punch to put Jarrett down again. The Kid tries to interfere but gets kicked into the barricade.

Razor loads up his middle rope bulldog but misses and lands on his bad knee. The Figure Four goes on and Razor is in trouble. After some interference from Roadie, Ramon turns the hold over but Jeff quickly lets it go. Ramon hits a quick belly to back superplex to put Jarret down and it’s time for the Edge, which draws in Roadie for the DQ.

Rating: C. This match was mainly punches but Razor was so insanely over the he carried the crowd. Jarrett was pretty dull at this point but he would reach all new levels of dull later on in WCW. Razor would finally get the title back in a ladder match on a house show in May, but it would only last for two days. The match here was ok but nothing worth seeing. It was better than the first match though.

Post match Jarrett puts the Kid in the Figure Four.

Jarrett says that was perfectly good conduct for a champion.

Turturro is with Jenny McCarthy and nothing of note is said. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be seen but Shawn pops in to say nothing is wrong. Team DiBiase is behind them planning for later. Sid says Diesel is going down tonight.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Taker pounds away to start and hits Young School but he can’t drop Bundy. The jumping clothesline finally puts him down but Bundy knocks him over the top to the floor in retaliation. Taker lands on his feet right in front of DiBiase and takes the Urn back from him. Paul Bearer gets the Urn back but Kama Mustafa (Godfather) comes out to steal the Urn back. This is like a bad comedy.

Taker tries to stop the theft but Bundy jumps the Dead Man, allowing Kama to get it. He says he’s going to melt it down and make it a necklace. Bundy pounds on Taker a bit and slams him down before getting two off a knee drop. We hit the fat man chinlock fot a bit before Taker fights up, only to get caught by the Avalanche in the corner. No selling is done today, and it’s a slam and the jumping clothesline to make Taker 4-0.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a formality for Undertaker as we continue the Urn stealing story for even longer. Bundy was worthless here, other than some long forgotten star power. This feud kept going and never got interesting at all since DiBiase’s team was all lame power guys. Nothing to see here and probably Undertaker’s least interesting Mania match ever.

Turturro still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Instead he finds Lawrence Taylor’s All-Pro team of football players who are here to counter the Million Dollar Team. One of these guys is Mongo, future US Champion. Turturro moves on to find Bob Backlund playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Backlund goes nuts when he hears Anderson is missing because he has no idea who she is.

Thomas (a 12 year old actor from Home Improvement at the time) checkmates him so Backlund accuses him of taking advantage of his elders. Backlund asks him three questions (who was the 34^th President, what is the capital of Honduras, and who is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court) which Thomas answers correctly. Backlund: “THAT’S THE TROUBLE WITH YOUTH TODAY!!! THEY THINK THEY KNOW EVERTHING!!!” Crazy Backlund was GOLD.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Bam Bam Bigelow is in the back and we look at the history between him and Taylor. At the Rumble, Bigelow lost in the finals of a tag title tournament and Taylor laughed at him. Bigelow shoved him and Wrestlemania was made. Bigelow doesn’t have anything significant to say here. For some reason Todd Pettingil has headphones on here, presumably because of the audio difficulties. Apparently Lawler accidentally kicked some cords out and the commentary had to be re-recorded later. Maybe that’s what’s going on.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

Backlund says he saw the light and looks crazier than usual.

Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found so changes have been made. Ok then.

Diesel says something that I can’t understand because the audio keeps messing up. This is getting REALLY annoying. The audio is fixed long enough for Diesel to say nothing of note.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas comes out to be timekeeper for the title match. Turturro is ring announcer because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. At least he seems excited to be here though.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Jenny McCarthy comes out with Shawn. Pam Anderson comes out with Diesel to tick Shawn off, even though I thought McCarthy looked better. Shawn tries to jump Diesel but gets backdropped to the floor so Anderson can come in and pose. We actually get going and Shawn is dropped by a right hand. Diesel beals him out of the corner and Shawn is in trouble early.

A big backdrop puts Shawn down and Diesel throws him out to the floor. It’s time to stall until Sid distracts Diesel. That doesn’t work either as Diesel blasts Shawn coming in. Shawn pounds away in the corner but gets shoved away like he’s not even there. A suplex puts Shawn down and Diesel easily throws him out to the floor. Sid’s latest attempt at a distraction lets Shawn get in a few punches and gain brief control.

Diesel is thrown to the floor but Shawn skins the cat to stay alive. A BIG dive off the top takes Diesel down and a baseball slide keeps him down. Shawn tries another baseball slide but Diesel steps to the side, only to accidentally ram himself ribs first into the post. A Sid chant breaks out as Shawn hits a running splash off the apron. They get back in as Sid and Hebner get in an argument which goes nowhere.

Shawn stays on the ribs before getting two off a middle rope bulldog. Back to the injured back/ribs of Diesel we go as the fans are behind Shawn now. A top rope elbow hits the back for two. The champ counters a front facelock into a backdrop and there’s a second one. Shawn sends him into the buckle to slow Diesel down again and there’s a sleeper. The champ escapes and hits a corner clothesline followed by Snake Eyes.

We head to the floor for a second time and Diesel wins a quick slugout. Sid tries to interfere and does nothing at all so we head back inside for a superkick. The referee has hurt his ankle (has there ever been a more prone to injury referee than Earl Hebner? He’s ALWAYS getting hurt) so the kick only gets two. Sid rips a buckle pad off but Diesel suplexes Shawn down before he can do anything about it.

They’re both down now as Hebner’s ankle is strong enough for him to stand up now. Shawn goes to the middle rope for something resembling a dropkick but jumps into a side slam. That was a cool looking catch. Diesel still can’t follow up because of the ribs but he manages to scoop Shawn’s legs out and launch him into (the buckle below) the exposed buckle. A big boot and the Jackknife retain the title as Anderson asks someone if she’s supposed to be clapping now.

Rating: B. It’s good but somehow this won Match of the Year in PWI. For the life of me I have no idea how as it’s not even Shawn’s best match of the year. The rematch would be MUCH better with a typical David vs. Goliath formula. The lack of such a formula here was weird as Diesel, the 7’0 monster, was the underdog. Shawn would turn face very soon after this.

Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities.

Shawn goes on a rant (calling the superkick Chin Music, perhaps for the first time but I’m not sure) about how the referee being hurt cost him the title.

The Million Dollar Team is introduced for the main event: Bundy, Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, Kama, I.R.S. and DiBiase himself. We also get the NFL All-Pro Team: Ken Norton, Chris Speilman, Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and Reggie White.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

R&B group Salt N Peppa sings What A Man live for Taylor’s entrance. Pat Patterson is guest referee to make sure things go as smoothly as possible. Taylor is a legit NFL superstar so this is an actual big deal as far as celebrities go. There are a TON of reporters and photographers at ringside plus the two teams so it looks like a lumberjack match. Before the bell, Taylor SMACKS Bigelow in the face and we’re ready to go. Oh and Diesel has been training with Taylor. Remember that.

A big forearm immediately puts Bigelow down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The crowd is losing it over this stuff as Taylor looks GREAT. Back in and a bulldog (decent one too) gets two for Taylor. There’s a hip toss and Bigelow needs a breather. In two minutes, Taylor has already showed more skill and fire than McMichael showed in two and a half years in WCW. Lawrence follows him to the floor and a big brawl almost starts between the teams.

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Taylor fights up again and hits a suplex of all things to give himself a breather. It’s a quick breather though as Bigelow pounds away even more. There’s Bigelow’s moonsault but he “hurts” his knee in the process. Lawrence kicks out at two (ZERO reaction for the crowd for some reason) and it’s time for a comeback. Bigelow ducks his head so Taylor tries something resembling a suplex that was supposed to be a Jackknife.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was nothing short of a miracle. Keeping in mind that Taylor had zero experience coming in there, he looked amazing. They didn’t have most of the problems that most celebrity matches have as Taylor looked like he had actual talent instead of looking like he needed someone to walk him through everything. As a regular match this wasn’t much, but all things considered this was great.

Taylor can barely stand up post match and the team has to help him back. DiBiase goes on a rant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You often hear how terrible this show is but it really isn’t that bad. It’s terribly boring and uninteresting for the most part, but there are FAR worse shows out there. The other major problem this show has is that it’s a Wrestlemania. If this show was something like In Your House or even Summerslam it wouldn’t have nearly the bad reputation it does. It’s certainly not good or even decent but it’s FAR better than it’s given credit for.

Ratings Comparison

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Man this show just isn’t fun.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/18/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-11-just-get-it-over-with/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/20/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xi-an-extremely-underrated-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XI
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is one of the dark Wrestlemanias in that it was a very bad time for the company. That being said, the show was very well received and wound up being kind of a saving grace for the WWF. The main events are Diesel defending the title against Shawn (shocking I know) and Bam Bam Bigelow vs. NFL Hall of Famer (not at this point though) Lawrence Taylor. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from every Wrestlemania. That’s a nice idea, especially for back then when you can do this in 90 seconds. Today it would take way too long. Apparently Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy and others are starring in this show. Good to know indeed.

A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful. Nothing wrong with that.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

I don’t remember if Allied Powers was their official name but it’s Luger/British Bulldog. The Brothers are whatever name you best know the Harris Brothers by, which is most likely the DOA. The timing of this redo is perfect, as their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently Zeb Colter, manager of Jack Swagger. It’s a big brawl to start and the good guys hit stereo powerslams to take over. Bulldog and we’ll say Jacob (partner of Eli) start and there’s the delayed vertical after only a few seconds.

Off to a headlock by the Brit as Vince sounds like he’s in an auditorium for some reason. The Brothers take over with heel power moves and it’s off to Eli for a side slam. A double big boot from the twins puts Bulldog right back down but Bulldog starts firing off right hands. With the referee holding the Bulldog back, the Brothers pull a switch but they switch back just a few seconds later. That’s some high quality leadership there Zeb.

We’ll say Jacob takes too much time on a middle rope elbow so the British guy moves. Hot tag brings in Luger and house is cleaned. There’s a powerslam and the steel forearm smash gets two. Zebekiah interferes and the twins switch again, allowing Eli to kick out of the forearm which didn’t hit him. Not that it matters as British hits a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere. Not that he was legal or anything but who cares?

Rating: C-. This match uh…..exists I guess. Seriously that’s all I’ve got here. It wasn’t a good match or anything but I’ve seen worse. That’s the problem here: it’s so average that it’s barely worth talking about. Luger would be gone in a few months back to WCW, which was the best move as he was doing stuff like this for the next six months or so. Nothing to see here at all and a really odd choice for a match and especially the opener.

Apparently that win deserves fireworks. If that’s the high point of the show, we’re in BIG trouble.

Zebekiah demands justice because the wrong Blu got pinned.

Nicholas Turturro is supposed to interview Pamela Anderson but we have audio difficulties.

Lawler explains football: it’s just like the post office. “Eleven guys spend an hour trying to move a small object 100 yards.” Andy Griffith he is not.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett, the champion, has a manager here named The Roadie who would become Jesse James, making this the ultimate battle of the double initials. This is a rematch from the Rumble where Ramon got counted out but agreed to come back in where he lost the title when his knee gave out. The 1-2-3 Kid is with Razor to counteract the Roadie. Razor decks Jeff to start and the champion immediately heads to the floor. That’s nice of him as it allows Razor’s pyro to go off.

A big right hand takes Jarrett down and Razor clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip out of the corner by the champion is blocked by a right hand. Ramon keeps up his barrage of punches by faking Jarrett out and punching him even more. Roadie bails Jarrett out of the Razor’s Edge and the champion regroups a bit on the floor.

Back inside and Roadie cheats a bit with some choking, only to have Jeff miss a charge and land on him. All Razor so far. Back in again and Jarrett hits a swinging neckbreaker and some dropkicks to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before things speed up with both guys getting near falls. Jarrett hooks a sleeper that lasts even less time than the chinlock so Jeff punches him down and hooks another chinlock.

Razor escapes again via a suplex but both guys are down. They get up at the same time and collide to put them down again. That’s a bit of overkill but whatever. Again they get up and a double punch puts them down for a third time. Ramon comes back with more punches and they actually stay up for once. A fallaway slam gets two and there’s the discus punch to put Jarrett down again. The Kid tries to interfere but gets kicked into the barricade.

Razor loads up his middle rope bulldog but misses and lands on his bad knee. The Figure Four goes on and Razor is in trouble. After some interference from Roadie, Ramon turns the hold over but Jeff quickly lets it go. Ramon hits a quick belly to back superplex to put Jarret down and it’s time for the Edge, which draws in Roadie for the DQ.

Rating: C. This match was mainly punches but Razor was so insanely over the he carried the crowd. Jarrett was pretty dull at this point but he would reach all new levels of dull later on in WCW. Razor would finally get the title back in a ladder match on a house show in May, but it would only last for two days. The match here was ok but nothing worth seeing. It was better than the first match though.

Post match Jarrett puts the Kid in the Figure Four.

Jarrett says that was perfectly good conduct for a champion.

Turturro is with Jenny McCarthy and nothing of note is said. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be seen but Shawn pops in to say nothing is wrong. Team DiBiase is behind them planning for later. Sid says Diesel is going down tonight.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Taker pounds away to start and hits Young School but he can’t drop Bundy. The jumping clothesline finally puts him down but Bundy knocks him over the top to the floor in retaliation. Taker lands on his feet right in front of DiBiase and takes the Urn back from him. Paul Bearer gets the Urn back but Kama Mustafa (Godfather) comes out to steal the Urn back. This is like a bad comedy.

Taker tries to stop the theft but Bundy jumps the Dead Man, allowing Kama to get it. He says he’s going to melt it down and make it a necklace. Bundy pounds on Taker a bit and slams him down before getting two off a knee drop. We hit the fat man chinlock fot a bit before Taker fights up, only to get caught by the Avalanche in the corner. No selling is done today, and it’s a slam and the jumping clothesline to make Taker 4-0.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a formality for Undertaker as we continue the Urn stealing story for even longer. Bundy was worthless here, other than long forgotten star power. This feud kept going and never got interesting at all since DiBiase’s team was all lame power guys. Nothing to see here and probably Undertaker’s least interesting Mania match ever.

Turturro still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Instead he finds Lawrence Taylor’s All-Pro team of football players who are here to counter the Million Dollar Team. One of these guys is Mongo, future US Champion. Turturro moves on to find Bob Backlund playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Backlund goes nuts when he hears Anderson is missing because he has no idea who she is.

Thomas (a 12 year old actor from Home Improvement at the time) checkmates him so Backlund accuses him of taking advantage of his elders. Backlund asks him three questions (who was the 34^th President, what is the capital of Honduras, and who is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court) which Thomas answers correctly. Backlund: “THAT’S THE TROUBLE WITH YOUTH TODAY!!! THEY THINK THEY KNOW EVERTHING!!!” Crazy Backlund was GOLD.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Bam Bam Bigelow is in the back and we look at the history between him and Taylor. At the Rumble, Bigelow lost in the finals of a tag title tournament and Taylor laughed at him. Bigelow shoved him and Wrestlemania was made. Bigelow doesn’t have anything significant to say here. For some reason Todd Pettingil has headphones on here, presumably because of the audio difficulties. Apparently Lawler accidentally kicked some cords out and the commentary had to be re-recorded later. Maybe that’s what’s going on.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

Backlund says he saw the light and looks crazier than usual.

Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found so changes have been made. Ok then.

Diesel says something that I can’t understand because the audio keeps messing up. This is getting REALLY annoying. The audio is fixed long enough for Diesel to say nothing of note.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas comes out to be timekeeper for the title match. Turturro is ring announcer because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. At least he seems excited to be here though.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Jenny McCarthy comes out with Shawn. Pam Anderson comes out with Diesel to tick Shawn off, even though I thought McCarthy looked better. Shawn tries to jump Diesel but gets backdropped to the floor so Anderson can come in and pose. We actually get going and Shawn is dropped by a right hand. Diesel beals him out of the corner and Shawn is in trouble early.

A big backdrop puts Shawn down and Diesel throws him out to the floor. It’s time to stall until Sid distracts Diesel. That doesn’t work either as Diesel blasts Shawn coming in. Shawn pounds away in the corner but gets shoved away like he’s not even there. A suplex puts Shawn down and Diesel easily throws him out to the floor. Sid’s latest attempt at a distraction lets Shawn get in a few punches and gain brief control.

Diesel is thrown to the floor but Shawn skins the cat to stay alive. A BIG dive off the top takes Diesel down and a baseball slide keeps him down. Shawn tries another baseball slide but Diesel steps to the side, only to accidentally ram himself ribs first into the post. A Sid chant breaks out as Shawn hits a running splash off the apron. They get back in as Sid and Hebner get in an argument which goes nowhere.

Shawn stays on the ribs before getting two off a middle rope bulldog. Back to the injured back/ribs of Diesel we go as the fans are behind Shawn now. A top rope elbow hits the back for two. The champ counters a front facelock into a backdrop and there’s a second one. Shawn sends him into the buckle to slow Diesel down again and there’s a sleeper. The champ escapes and hits a corner clothesline followed by Snake Eyes.

We head to the floor for a second time and Diesel wins a quick slugout. Sid tries to interfere and does nothing at all so we head back inside for a superkick. The referee has hurt his ankle (has there ever been a more prone to injury referee than Earl Hebner? He’s ALWAYS getting hurt) so the kick only gets two. Sid rips a buckle pad off but Diesel suplexes Shawn down before he can do anything about it.

They’re both down now as Hebner’s ankle is strong enough for him to stand up now. Shawn goes to the middle rope for something resembling a dropkick but jumps into a side slam. That was a cool looking catch. Diesel still can’t follow up because of the ribs but he manages to scoop Shawn’s legs out and launch him into (the buckle below) the exposed buckle. A big boot and the Jackknife retain the title as Anderson asks someone if she’s supposed to be clapping now.

Rating: B. It’s good but somehow this won Match of the Year in PWI. For the life of me I have no idea how as it’s not even Shawn’s best match of the year. The rematch would be MUCH better with a typical David vs. Goliath formula. The lack of such a formula here was weird as Diesel, the 7’0 monster, was the underdog. Shawn would turn face very soon after this.

Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities.

Shawn goes on a rant (calling the superkick Chin Music, perhaps for the first time but I’m not sure) about how the referee being hurt cost him the title.

The Million Dollar Team is introduced for the main event: Bundy, Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, Kama, I.R.S. and DiBiase himself. We also get the NFL All-Pro Team: Ken Norton, Chris Speilman, Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and Reggie White.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

R&B group Salt N Peppa sings What A Man live for Taylor’s entrance. Pat Patterson is guest referee to make sure things go as smoothly as possible. Taylor is a legit NFL superstar so this is an actual big deal as far as celebrities go. There are a TON of reporters and photographers at ringside plus the two teams so it looks like a lumberjack match. Before the bell, Taylor SMACKS Bigelow in the face and we’re ready to go. Oh and Diesel has been training with Taylor. Remember that.

A big forearm immediately puts Bigelow down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The crowd is losing it over this stuff as Taylor looks GREAT. Back in and a bulldog (decent one too) gets two for Taylor. There’s a hip toss and Bigelow needs a breather. In two minutes, Taylor has already showed more skill and fire than McMichael showed in two and a half years in WCW. Lawrence follows him to the floor and a big brawl almost starts between the teams.

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Taylor fights up again and hits a suplex of all things to give himself a breather. It’s a quick breather though as Bigelow pounds away even more. There’s Bigelow’s moonsault but he “hurts” his knee in the process. Lawrence kicks out at two (ZERO reaction for the crowd for some reason) and it’s time for a comeback. Bigelow ducks his head so Taylor tries something resembling a suplex that was supposed to be a Jackknife.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was nothing short of a miracle. Keeping in mind that Taylor had zero experience coming in there, he looked amazing. They didn’t have most of the problems that most celebrity matches have as Taylor looked like he had actual talent instead of looking like he needed someone to walk him through everything. As a regular match this wasn’t much, but all things considered this was great.

Taylor can barely stand up post match and the team has to help him back. DiBiase goes on a rant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You often hear how terrible this show is but it really isn’t that bad. It’s terribly boring and uninteresting for the most part, but there are FAR worse shows out there. The other major problem this show has is that it’s a Wrestlemania. If this show was something like In Your House or even Summerslam it wouldn’t have nearly the bad reputation it does. It’s certainly not good or even decent but it’s FAR better than it’s given credit for.

Ratings Comparison

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C-

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: F+

Redo: D

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: F+

Redo: D+

Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: D+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: F+

Redo: D+

Man alive what was bugging me when I watched it the first time? It’s not THAT bad.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/18/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-11-just-get-it-over-with/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 11
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Kathy Huey

Oh goodness, we did have to get to this eventually didn’t we? If you remember my review of WM 9 being the worst WM ever, I should have said it would be the worst for the next two years. This show is one of the most interesting in wrestling history from a reaction standpoint. From the fans’ perspective, this show is what’s played on a constant loop in the seventh circle of purgatory, minus the WWF Title match.

The number one issue I have right off the bat with this is that it’s from Hartford, Connecticut. Seriously, HARTFORD??? Wrestlemania has broadcast from New York, LA, Chicago, Toronto, Las Vegas, and now HARTFORD? It just doesn’t sound right. Another factor here is that there’s a whopping total of 7 matches. What’s the main event you ask?

Would it be Shawn Michaels getting his first WWF Title match since becoming a main eventer against his former bodyguard Diesel? Nope. We get Bam Bam Bigelow who was wrestling a clown last year against Lawrence Taylor, a former football player and current contestant on Dancing With The Stars. The sad thing is, I’m not making this up. The weird thing though is, this show allegedly brought the WWF back into the war with WCW.

The ratings were decent and it got the company the main stream exposure it’s looking for. Think of it like the modern day TNA: the hardcore wrestling fans like us mostly hate it, but the common fans eat it up. Go figure. Anyway, let’s get on with this so I can look for a hammer to apply to my head.

The opening video is about various Manias through the years which tends to be a theme in these opening videos.

Your celebrities this year are Pamela Anderson (actual celebrity), Jonathan Taylor Thomas (Randy on Home Improvement. Another child star that did nothing.), Jenny McCarthy (Mini-celebrity now, she was at the last SNME so points for that I guess), some guy from NYPD Blue, and Salt N Peppa, who hit on Bret Hart which just looks ridiculous. A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful, and it’s time for our first match.

Ok not quite yet as we get a very interesting chat from Vince and Jerry about what Wrestlemania is. You don’t get to hear that much from Vince. It’s short and sweet but it got the point across just fine. NOW on to the match.

Lex Luger/British Bulldog vs. The Blu Brothers

No that’s not a typo, it’s spelled Blu. These guys have the gimmick of being two incredibly hick brothers from the mountains. You know them better as D.O.A., the Harris Brothers, or those two big white bald guys that are in every promotion on the planet. My goodness how far has Lex fallen in a year? He’s going after the WWF Title and next year is curtain jerking in a tag match?

The twins are named Jacob and Eli in case you were so bored you were actually wondering. Lex and Davey go by the name the Allied Powers. That delayed vertical suplex by Davey never gets old. It’s nothing short of amazing. Definitely like the fact that Bulldog’s tights are about 3 sizes too small. Oh yeah we have a match to get to.

For some reason the Brothers come down second. The Brothers try to jump them which winds up in a pair of powerslams for them. Note that this is just a powerslam and not The Powerslam by Bulldog so it’s just a normal match. Bulldog is in trouble early on as the power of evil double teaming has him hurting.

A double big boot puts Bulldog down as Luger is just worthless on the apron here. The fans aren’t incredibly impressed. Jerry says that Bulldog has only lost once at Mania which isn’t true as he lost at both #3 and #4. Luger comes in and the fans pop just slightly. I guess the jump back to WCW was the right move indeed. Another powerslam gets no cover.

The loaded forearm gets two as the other twin makes the save. Uncle Zebekiah gets drilled and it’s Twin Magic time. One twin goes for a powerbomb/Piledriver but Luger makes a blind tag, allowing the Bulldog to hit a top rope sunset flip for the pin, prompting a fireworks display to go off.

Rating: D. Not bad, but just there. It’s nothing special at all and I’m not sure how many people really cared. The crowd was about as dead as I’ve ever heard for a Mania opener, and that’s including The Executioner vs. Santana back in 85. Wow I feel old for writing that. Anyway this was pretty bad and could have been on any Superstars show back in the day.

Jim Ross talks to the Uncle who says this is what they deserved for being in the big city. They pinned the wrong guy and that’s not the last you’ll see of the twins.

The NYPD Blue guy is with the Million Dollar Team (DiBiase’s stable of mostly jobbers) when he’s supposed to be in the dressing room of Pam Anderson but the mic doesn’t work. As an aside, during the show Lawler accidentally knocked some cords loose and he and Vince had to redo the entire commentary on the show from watching video. Due to that, the commentary you’ll hear on these matches isn’t live at all.

Lawler describes football as a game where eleven men spend hours trying to move a small object 100 yards, which is just like the post office. What that has to do with this is beyond me but it sounded good at the time. Oh it’s about the NFL guys here for the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

No real story here other than they’re feuding for no apparent reason. Jarrett is in his country music gimmick here and even the Fink sounds bored out of his mind here. Jarrett won the title at the Rumble thanks to the Roadie (Road Dogg in case you didn’t know that) interfering. 1-2-3 Kid and Ramon are in the back and say that Ramon is ready.

Razor was so over back then it’s insane. Vince makes a weird comment saying that Ramon knows where he is at all times. Not sure why that’s a compliment. Don’t most people know where they’re located? It’s either a Vince line or a rib that 3 people get. Razor is all over Jarrett to start this off. Jarrett hits the floor and Razor gets to shoot off his pyro. He gets about three covers in the first 2 minutes, all off punches.

Double J may have hurt his tooth. Rollup gets two for Razor. Roadie saves Jarrett from the Razor’s Edge and Jarrett tries to leave but the Kid is waiting in the aisle to stop that. Five minutes in and JJ’s biggest move has been a hard Irish whip. You know for all of his detractors, Jarrett can wrestle quite well. I’ve always wondered why he didn’t get the recognition as a star that he deserved.

Jarrett tries to get on offense but can’t get anything long term going at all. He gets thrown to the floor again as the crowd dies all over again. Jeff gets some dropkicks in and here comes the guy from Tennessee. We hit the chinlock and the fans get going a bit. At least it’s a fast one as Razor gets a backslide for two. Sleeper goes on Razor and again it lasts just a few seconds. Oh hey here’s another chinlock to keep us interested.

This match just isn’t flowing. It’s like they’re working move to move and it’s showing badly. In a really stupid looking sequence, they both hit the ropes and hit head to head. Then they get up and hit the ropes again and both punch each other. It’s more or less the same spot twice in a row. Just looked stupid. This referee is counting ridiculously fast too.

Fallaway slam gets two. Discus punch gets Jeff down. Can Razor do anything else besides punch and go for the Edge? Razor hurts his knee going for a top rope bulldog, which is the same knee that was hurt THREE MONTHS AGO at the Rumble. Of course it’s still sore. Why wouldn’t it be?

Figure four by Jarrett as the Roadie pulls on Jarrett’s arms for more leverage. I’ve always wondered about that. How does it make it hurt more? I love how Razor’s knee is hurt badly, yet he can pick a 230lb man up, sit him on the top rope and belly to back suplex him from it without his knee giving out.

He gets him up for the Razor’s Edge but Roadie chop blocks him for the DQ. Post match, all four men brawl. JR asks Jarrett about his cheating and Jarrett says he’ll always be the IC Champion. If by always he means until he jumps to WCW and then back to the WWF, loses to Chyna after being hit by a fish and then is banned from the company because Austin hated him, they yes he’ll always be champion.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too many punches and rest holds. These two have had far better matches before, such as at the Rumble. Razor probably had 90% of his offense from throwing punches. Jarrett wasn’t anywhere nearly as serious as he should have been at this point and that change wouldn’t come for many years. Definitely a weak match from them.

Since there was no audio earlier, let’s redo the exact movements from the interview earlier on. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found. Shawn and Sid say that Diesel is afraid.

Todd Pettingil gets in a 3 point stance with a football player and that’s all there is to this pointless bit.

The Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

This is the result of a mini feud with DiBiase and Kama over the Urn being stolen for about the 12^th time. A baseball umpire is refereeing the match for no apparent reason. Bundy charges straight at him to start but that gets him nowhere. Old School can’t take him down. A bunch of clotheslines finally put the bald man down.

Bundy knocks him to the floor and Taker gets the Urn back. Now of course Bundy is in big trouble as Taker is all ticked off. Here’s Kama (Godfather) to steal it back again. This is going as fast as I’m typing it so it’s not like I’m skipping over a ton of stuff. Taker grabs Kama’s face but Bundy makes the save and Kama escapes.

Ross grabs an interview with Kama who says he’s going to melt it down and make a chain out of it and put it around his neck, which he wound up doing. Bundy chokes away in the corner, showing off his vast array of offensive talents. This referee is rather bad at counting. Bearer plays cheerleader to try to get Taker out of a chinlock. Avalanche hits in the corner but Taker is no Special Delivery Jones so it has no effect. A slam and the jumping clothesline of all things end this.

Rating: F+. Oh man this was bad. Taker was completely lacking direction at this point and it was painfully obvious that they had no clue what to do with him. He would feud with Kama for a bit before feuding with King Mabel for a bit until FINALLY Mankind debuted to give Taker something to do long term. Terrible match.

Oh look, the NYPD Blue guy still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Steve McMichael says he’ll take down Kama. The rest of the All-Pro Team says they’ll take care of the Million Dollar Team. The NYPD Blue guy does find Jonathan Taylor Thomas beating Bob Backlund at chess though. I never thought I’d have to type that. Backlund’s rant about the world being screwed up is hilarious.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/???

Owen has a mystery partner here. The Smoking Gunns are a great example of the failure of tag wrestling during this time period. They were definitely talented, but absolutely no one cared about them. They’re practically forgotten but were one of the most successful tag teams from this time frame.

As you probably know, the partner is Yokozuna. Oddly enough the partner comes out before the Guns, the champions, do. This is of course about Bret somehow because Owen is completely obsessed with Bret. Yoko weighs a few tons by this point and is straight up waddling to the ring. The Gunns say they don’t care who the partner is. Billy with a mullet and a mustache is freaky looking.

More fireworks for the champions here. What’s with that tonight for the tag teams? Owen and Billy start us off. That’s the most talented combination out there I guess. Apparently Owen and Neidhart were eliminated from the tag tournament to determine the #1 contenders so this is a result of that. The Gunns work on the arm of Owen to start which lasts only a few seconds as it’s off to Yoko.

The leg drop misses and Yoko takes over again. And never mind as it’s back to Owen again. Cornette is yelling at the fans which is one of the more entertaining parts of the show. Double Russian legsweep to the Canadian by the American cowboys. Yoko gets sent to the floor as we’re in the Colossal Connection formula here: Owen does the vast majority of the work while Yoko is brought in as the heavy hitter.

Apparently Men on a Mission have turned heel on the Gunns. Riveting indeed and unfortunately it set up King Mabel. The Gunns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam/legdrop combination) for two on Owen. Yoko comes in and gets the legdrop on the back of Billy’s head to more or less kill him. I’m surprised Yoko has been in the ring this long.

LONG nerve hold by Yoko on Billy to waste a lot of time. Yoko misses a legdrop and Bart comes in. Everything breaks down and Billy gets killed by a belly to belly from the fat man. Banzai Drop ends Billy and Owen gets the pin for the title, which might be his first in the company if that’s possible.

Rating: D+. Eh just a tag match here. The Gunns were boring beyond belief and Yoko was so fat that he could barely move at all. This was simply to have a title switch on the show much like the first show in the series. Boring match and somehow the best one so far I think if that’s possible.

Bigelow says he’ll destroy Lawrence Taylor. There was a Mania Work Out and they had a skirmish there too. This feud never really got going for me but the media actually paid attention so there’s that I guess. This interview takes forever and nothing special is said at all.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as referee for no apparent reason. Vince says Roddy knows something about submission. What in the world would that be anyway? This was their second submission match technically as the other was a throw in the towel match that had to end in submission if I remember right. Piper would be Commissioner by the next Mania.

Backlund is more or less crazy here which was rather impressive given how completely different he used to be back in his glory days. I’m still mad about not getting Bret’s glasses when I was a kid. The annoying kid next to me got them. I did however get a Slaughter helmet. Bret gets a headbutt to start and the fight is on. Sharpshooter can’t go on early.

Vince doesn’t remember Piper losing to Bret at Mania 8. Some fan he is. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter again and can’t get it. You couldn’t tell that from Vince as he keeps changing his reaction every five seconds. “Yes! No. Yes! No.” Is he the Zodiac or something? Figure Four goes on but Backlund reverses it. Neither guy says they quit as we get a quick check-in with the German commentators for no apparent reason.

Bret works the knee again as this is rather boring. Piper needs to quit asking them if they quit so often. Backlund works on the arm as I try to find a good novel to read so I don’t have to watch this for awhile. Backlund hooks a Fujiwara armbar and Bret says No to Piper. That was a shocking line then apparently which is amusing given that in an I Quit match in 99 with HHH vs. Rock, HHH said Suck It when he was asked if he quit.

Backlund likes that armbar. Jerry talks about breaking into a pyramid (what the heck?) and seeing a picture of Stu Hart with a headlock on King Tut (where does he get these jokes from?). Sharpshooter almost goes on but Backlund gets to the ropes before it gets cinched in. Bret charges again and his shoulder hits the post to put him in real trouble.

There’s the Crossface Chickenwing and Bret is in trouble. And never mind as he casually reverses and gets a horrible version of it on Backlund for the submission. You know, from all that devastating work that he did on Backlund’s arm the whole time. This was an awful match if you didn’t get it.

Rating: F+. This was really bad. Backlund was just flat out too old to be a serious main event threat by this point and while Bret was sharp as ever, Bob just didn’t have it in him anymore. Bret has called it the worst match of his career and he might be right. Backlund’s I saw the Light thing led to an angle where he would run for President of all things. As you can guess, it went nowhere. Also, having a Bret match lack any and all psychology is very weird indeed.

Backlund is leaving and says he saw the light. This would mean he became a Presidential candidate.

Ok, the NYPD guy was annoying at first. Now he’s just making me mad. NO ONE CARES. They’re changing the celebrities around.

More audio issues as Todd tries to talk to Diesel. He finally says that he’s going to keep the title. He slips up when he’s trying to say if he’s going to regain or retain the title and finally screams HOLD ONTO IT. This was back when Nash was actually really good and got the reputation he’s lived off for years now.

Celebrities are introduced as Jerry Lawler reveals he accidentally unplugged some cords.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

The deal was supposed to be McCarthy came out with Diesel and Anderson, who was viewed as ten times hotter and more important than McCarthy (nonsense) would come out with the Rumble winner, Shawn. For obvious reasons, this got reversed. The NYPD Blue guy is the ring announcer and he’s miles better at this than he is as an interviewer. He shouts almost everything he says and for the sake of this, it works really well.

The story here is Diesel was Shawn’s bodyguard but realized he was awesome on his own so he turned face and won the WWF Title. Sid replaced him as the bodyguard and the exact same thing would happen in about a year. Shawn has finally morphed into the character that would make him a legend by this point. As weird as this sounds, Diesel is a freaking beast at this point. Sweet intro, the music was cool, he has Pamela Anderson, just the complete look. What in the world happened to that? Anderson simply couldn’t want to be here less if her life depended on it.

Shawn hammers away to start as we’re already into the power vs. speed area. Diesel had been champion since a few days after Survivor Series so he had almost 7 more months with the title here. Diesel sends Shawn to the floor as we look at the ladies. Sid distracts the referee but Shawn can’t get in a shot on Diesel. Suplex puts Shawn down.

Back to the floor again as Sid and Diesel stare each other down one more time. Diesel counters a sunset flip as this is more or less one sided so far. Nash gets sent to the floor but Shawn Skins the Cat and dives down to crush Diesel. Baseball slide has the champion in trouble. We look at Anderson again and sweet goodness does she want to be anywhere else but here.

The fans loudly chant for Sid, thus proving that this entire match is booked wrong. Shawn hits a splash off the apron to the floor as Diesel is in trouble. Back in the ring Shawn stomps away and hits a bulldog for two. I’ve never liked that move at all. Reverse cross body off the middle rope gets two again. Shawn works on the arm and gets a LET’S GO SHAWN chant in his honor.

Ok make that he’s working on Diesel’s ribs. A top rope elbow to the back gets two in what is for some reason a highlight reel clip for Shawn. Never really have gotten why but it certainly is. Off to the chinlock now as the fans still like Shawn better. Diesel fights back and gets Snake Eyes to get some momentum going. Flair Flip in the corner and Shawn hits the floor again.

Nash follows and it’s time to see Shawn’s tights pulled down as is the tradition for big matches he’s in for no apparent reason. They slug it out on the floor and the referee twists his ankle getting down. I guess it wasn’t an Attitude Era thing. Back in the ring Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music but there’s no referee which would be a factor in Shawn’s reasoning as to why he lost.

It gets two and the fans boo loudly on the kickout. Sid goes to an old school heel move and rips off the turnbuckle pad. Diesel gets a suplex to avoid being rammed into it and both guys are down. Shawn gets an arm over him for a long two as the fans aren’t seeming to care much here.

In a slick counter, Diesel catches a bulldog off the middle rope in a side slam. Nice move. Shawn circles Diesel but gets his legs tripped from under him. Diesel goes old school with a slingshot into the exposed buckle. If only that had actually been where he landed, as Shawn’s head hit the middle buckle instead of the top one. Big boot and Jackknife end this anyway.

Rating: B. As you can tell, I really like this match. It’s not famous at all but it’s definitely solid all around. There was a story with the ribs, a controversy that would lead to rematches and a clean ending. The match also got enough time to put on something decent and it showed. Shawn was clearly coming into his own but still wanted to prove himself. Solid effort all around and a very good match. These two had some of the most forgotten great matches of all time and this is one of them for sure.

Shawn and Sid complain to Ross and say it’s not over, which it wasn’t. The celebrities celebrate with Diesel forever and Nash gets both chicks.

Shawn complains even more in the back.

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

If you have never seen a person die and you want to…actually if you want to I’d recommend psychiatric help. But anyway, right here you’re about to see a man’s career die right in front of your eyes.

Here it is. Let it be known throughout the universe and all the world, that the reason that WM 11 is called the worst WM of all time is this match and this angle right here. Here’s the idea: for those of you that don’t know, LT is one of the best football players of all time, bar none. He was at the Royal Rumble in the front row and Bigelow shoved him, leading to this.

Instead of the WWF Title being on the line in the main event of the biggest show of the year, we get a retired football player against a barely upper midcarder that was about 8 years past his prime. Do I even need to explain why this was a bad idea? Each man has a group of 5 supporters at ringside so it’s more or less a lumberjack match. Their entrances take the greater part of forever. Oh and Salt N Peppa sing LT to the ring.

Pat Patterson of all people is the referee. There are so many jokes I could make about that I don’t know where to start. This is by far and away the main event of the show which still makes my head shake. I used to complain that Lawrence couldn’t wrestle but that was the point I think: he wasn’t supposed to be able to wrestle but rather be able to fight.

Diesel had been showing him some stuff apparently. The bell hasn’t rung yet so we’re just hanging around and waiting to start. Patterson wants a handshake but Lawrence slaps Bigelow instead and it’s on. Taylor likes to throw forearms which makes sense as it’s a basic strike. Taylor sends him to the floor with Bigelow doing the majority of the work to get himself over the top.

Bigelow misses a corner splash and Taylor gets a belly to back for two. More forearms which keep working so naturally he keeps going with them. Taylor gets in the face of the Million Dollar Team as we’re still waiting on the big brawl between the guys on the floor. Lawrence gets caught on his way back in and now we get into the main part of the match.

They’re going very slow which is understandable here. Falling headbutt misses Taylor but he can’t capitalize and Bigelow takes over again. Boston Crab goes on which shifts into a sloppy half crab instead. Ok now it’s shifted into more or less Bigelow pulling on Taylor’s leg. This is a very different kind of match and not incredibly interesting.

The rope is finally grabbed and Taylor goes back to the forearms. A suplex gets Taylor out of trouble for a bit and both guys are down. Bigelow gets the advantage again and hits the Moonsault but hurts his knee, having to roll off. He covers shortly thereafter and gets two to ZERO reaction. I think the fans were confused or flat out didn’t care. Either way it’s not a good sign.

LT gets a gutwrench suplex that is called a Jackknife for two. Enziguri puts Taylor down again and this is really needing to end like now. Top rope headbutt gets two and a tiny reaction. Taylor makes his big comeback and hammers away with the forearms and now the crowd is getting into it. In the big spot of the match, LT goes to the middle rope and hits a flying forearm to get the pin. Taylor might have been hurt but he seems ok. DiBiase rips into Bigelow post match, setting up his failure of a face turn.

Rating: D+. Well they tried. I’ll give them that: they tried. For the life of me I don’t get why this is what they closed the show with. Well actually I do as it was certainly the biggest match, but it shouldn’t have been if that makes sense. Taylor’s offense made sense as he kept at it with the forearms, but the match didn’t work for the most part. Still though, not completely unwatchable but not incredibly good.

Overall Rating: F+. Yeah this show is still boring. It feels more like an In Your House rather than what it should have been, which is the biggest show of the year. Shawn vs. Diesel is good and that’s about it. Everything else is completely forgettable to say the least and the main event is one of the biggest headscratchers of all time.

To give you an idea of how odd this show is, it runs less than two and a half hours. Think about that. Wrestlemania ran less than two and a half hours. The show was shockingly well received though and it got a solid buyrate for the time. It doesn’t hold up well at all and that’s what kills it. 95 simply wasn’t kind to PPV and this is probably the second worst show of the year, after Summerslam. Bad show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Much like last year, there’s nothing else to talk about besides the main event. This is all about Shawn vs. Bret and they’re not even trying to hide it. The other big match on the card is Diesel vs. Undertaker but it’s so far behind the World Title match that it’s not fair to mention them in the same breath. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, here’s a bonus that probably should have been on the main card (at least on paper). Occasionally WWF would air a match on their pre-show (known as the Kickoff Show in modern times) and I’ll include them if they’re available. There were dark matches for years before Wrestlemania would go on the air but this is the first that was actually recorded.

Free For All: Tag Team Titles: Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

This is a tournament final for the vacant titles. The Bodydonnas (Skip and Zip, a pair of exercise enthusiasts) have Sunny, a rather attractive manager and the Godwinns (Henry O. and Phineas I. (get it?), hog farmers) have Hillbilly Jim in their corner. Of note there’s a big blimp flying around over the lower arena, making it practically impossible for fans sitting behind it to see a thing.

Henry and Zip start things off and a wheelbarrow slam gives the Godwinns early control. Phineas comes in and has one of his fits as he clears the ring. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by any of this. Things settle back down and it’s Henry catapulting Zip over the top and down onto Skip for a nice crash to get the crowd into things a bit. For some reason Phineas tries to come in (he never was that bright) and the Bodydonnas take over with a double slingshot suplex.

Skip drops Zip into a legdrop onto Henry but a Rocket Launcher misses. The cold tag brings in Phineas to clean house and Skip is in trouble. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) but Sunny gets on the apron and pulls up her skirt to flash Phineas, allowing Skip to roll him up for the pin and the titles at 5:24.

Rating: D-. Thankfully these things would get better later on because this was terrible. It’s probably better that this wasn’t on the main show as people really didn’t need to see how dismal the tag division had become at this point. There were so many lame gimmick teams like this and they took years to get better, but even then it only lasted for a short time. Terrible match but the right result.

The opening video is entirely focused on Bret vs. Shawn and their contrasting personalities with Bret being all about respect and Shawn being very in your face. They respect each other coming in and this is going to be a great test for both, even though looking back there was no question about which way this was going.

Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart/Vader

Johnson is an athletic freak who would have been WWF World Champion had he not been so injury prone. Yokozuna is even heavier than ever and is in this match to get his hands on the heels’ manager Jim Cornette if the good guys win. Vader is Cornette’s new charge and really shouldn’t need an introduction. The big guys start brawling at the start and it’s Yokozuna’s team clearing house with Yokozuna launching Ahmed over the top and out onto Vader. That’s good for a better reaction than anything in the Tag Team Title match had and we’re less than a minute in.

Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start with Yokozuna getting the better of it until Owen and Vader get him down in the corner. Vader pounds him down with rights and lefts but misses a splash, allowing the hot tag to Ahmed. We get some real house cleaning from the powerhouse but Vader gets in a shot from behind. Vince talks about a herd of buffalo until Owen dropkicks Johnson down, allowing Vader to come back in for some more big shots to the head.

Ahmed completely misses a clothesline to Owen (Johnson had a great look and awesome charisma but he couldn’t do the actual wrestling part) and makes the tag off to Jake for his signature punches. Owen blocks the DDT though and it’s off to Bulldog for a front facelock. The heels keep taking turns on Jake and Owen’s top rope elbow gets two. Bulldog’s running powerslam gets the same (that’s a big surprise) and so does a splash from Vader.

Jake finally avoids a legdrop and falls into the tag off to Yokozuna who pounds Vader down in the corner again. Owen takes the DDT but Jake has to intercept an interfering Cornette. That looks to set up a DDT on Cornette but Vader makes the save and Vader Bombs Jake for the pin at 13:11.

Rating: C-. This didn’t need to be so long and the teasing of Yokozuna getting his hands on Cornette didn’t go anywhere. They did however keep Jake in there for the most part and that’s the right idea given how good he was at selling a beating like that. Yokozuna was only good for quick bursts at this point and the weight would lead to him leaving the company. Vader was clearly on the rise as he was a monster but one who could move with very impressive speed, making him a great addition to the main event.

Call the Hotline!

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Goldust, which can be translated to “Razor Ramon had drug issues so here’s Piper instead.” Piper is a man’s man and President of the WWF, but Goldust (still very bizarre in actions here instead of just in name only) is attracted to Piper and his power. That’s not cool with Roddy and it’s time for a fight at Wrestlemania. Not a match mind you, but they’re going to be fighting in a back lot.

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

This is a Hollywood Back Lot Brawl and Piper is waiting, baseball bat in hand. Goldust drives up in a gold Cadillac, which Piper attacks with a fire hose and then the more logical bat. Piper goes after Goldust with the bat and the camera is jumping all over the place. They break up a concessions table and Piper beats him all over the lot, including some HARD right hands that sounded like they were making some very real impact.

Goldust gets slammed onto the hood of the car and seems to be bleeding from somewhere. A low blow slows Piper down and Goldust runs him over, causing Piper (or more likely a stunt man) to hang on as Goldust drives through the lot. Piper finally falls off and steals a white Bronco to chase after Goldust. No rating due to time but we’re not done with this yet.

Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Vega is a Puerto Rican brawler and Austin is the Million Dollar Champion (not on the line here) with Ted DiBiase in his corner. These two had been fighting for a bit but it was made worse when they had to team together in the Tag Team Title tournament. Austin didn’t want to win and laid out Savio instead. We’re ready to go after Savio says he’s ready for anything.

They slug it out and the brawl is quickly on the floor where a DiBiase distraction doesn’t do Austin any good. Back in and Vega’s shoulder goes into the post as Austin takes over on his own. That’s a nice, subtle point and would come into play months later when Austin intentionally got DiBiase sent out of the company.

Austin tries to work on the arm but Savio takes over with some nice kicks. Oh wait though as Roddy Piper calls in to say he’s chasing Goldust down the freeway because this isn’t over. Vega flips out of a chinlock but the arm is still bothering him. Austin comes back with a middle rope elbow as Piper gets on the phone again but his phone keeps cutting off when he’s about to swear. This is a bad sitcom plot.

A pinfall reversal sequence gets a few near falls each but we have an aerial shot of Piper…..which is the video from the OJ Simpson car chase. Back to the match (which shouldn’t have to happen more than once ever) and Austin dives into a raised boot to put both guys down. Savio wins a slugout but a spinwheel kick takes out the referee. The distraction lets DiBiase throw in the title belt goes upside Savio’s head twice, allowing Austin to put on the Million Dollar Dream until the referee wakes up to call the match at 10:03.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining while they actually focused on it but instead we had to sit through Piper calling in (likely from backstage) to advance this stupid idea that no one not named McMahon finds funny. These two feuded for several months and it was a very underrated pairing with both guys getting better as a result. Of course Austin would move on to a much bigger feud later in the year and never looked back, but this was really fun stuff like it lasted.

Austin won’t let the hold go for a long time after the match is over.

More Piper footage which is still from the OJ chase.

We recap Undertaker pulling Diesel through the mat last month at In Your House VI and then Diesel seeing himself in a coffin. Diesel says he’s dealing with Undertaker tonight and then Shawn is next. Yes Shawn and not the title. I guess even Diesel knew what was coming in the main event.

Another half second of Piper footage as the announcers make sure to not say where they’ve seen this before.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Ultimate Warrior

Helmsley has a new valet (like he did every week) named Sable. Warrior is making his return for the first time since 1992 and Lawler had been suggesting that he was 400lbs and bald. Of course he’s his normal (normalish I guess) self and Lawler looks like an idiot again. Helmsley (who is TINY by comparison to what he would become) attacks Warrior before the bell and hits the Pedigree thirty seconds in. Warrior is almost to his feet faster than Helmsley though and it’s time for the clotheslines and shoulders. The gorilla press and splash end Helmsley at 1:39, though I think he’ll be fine. Warrior would be gone again by July.

Merchandise ad.

The debuting Wildman Marc Mero (Johnny B. Badd from WCW) says he’s ready for the competition here in the WWF. Helmsley stumbles in and they get in a fight to set up Mero’s first feud.

In Your House VII ad.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

This is the first time Undertaker has had a really serious challenger at Wrestlemania in a few years and for once he feels like he’s in real danger. These two have cost each other title shots at the last two pay per views and now it’s time for them to go one on one in a marginal dream match. Diesel wins a slugout to start and crushes Undertaker with a running clothesline in the corner.

Undertaker misses his big elbow but sits right back up and they quickly on the floor. A quick ram into the steps looks to set up the tombstone back inside but Diesel slips off the back and kicks Undertaker in the face for two. They’re flying through this so far. Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline and crashes into the ropes, only to snap Diesel’s throat across the top. Diesel is right back though and throws Undertaker into the barricade before stopping to pose.

Back in and the side slam gets two, followed by Snake Eyes (actually called that by Vince, I believe for the only time ever) to keep Undertaker in trouble. In a rare sight, both guys connect with a big boot at the same time (that’s hard to do when you think about it). It’s Diesel up first and we hit the bearhug on Undertaker. Lawler: “YOU GOT HIM BAY-BAY!”

Undertaker suplexes his way out of it but Diesel is up again and scores with the Jackknife. He’d rather celebrate than cover though and Undertaker eventually sits up. That’s fine with Diesel as he hits a second Jackknife but still won’t cover, allowing Undertaker to get up and grab him by the throat. That earns Undertaker a belly to back suplex but he pops up for a bad looking chokeslam. Undertaker plants Diesel with the Tombstone for the pin at 16:37 to make it 5-0.

Rating: B. Diesel was on his way out for WCW but he was actually having better matches every month right before he left. This was by far the best Undertaker Wrestlemania match so far as they were beating the tar out of each other. It’s nice to see Undertaker actually in some trouble instead of just destroying people for a change and Diesel gave him a great challenge. This was much better than I was expecting and a great big man fight.

Ultimate Warrior is on America Online.

Goldust and Piper return in their cars and fight to the ring with Goldust getting the better of it. Another low blow has Piper in trouble and now it’s time for Goldust to strip him. Piper’s bad leg is wrapped around the post but it just seems to fire him up even more. Goldust goes to kiss him but punches Piper in the face instead. That’s fine with Piper as he crotches Goldust on top, only to have Goldust kiss him. Piper will have none of that and he hammers away before grabbing Goldust between the legs. Now it’s time for a spanking, followed by Piper stripping Goldust down to some S&M lingerie to finally end it.

Piper’s son Colt comes in to celebrate with him.

We look back at the history of Bret vs. Shawn with a focus on both of their (singles) history in the company. Shawn has been rising through the ranks and is looking to fulfill his boyhood dream. We also get a focus on their training style with Shawn learning under high flier Jose Lothario and Bret being taught submissions by his father Stu Hart. This worked very well and summed up the entire idea in about a minute and a half.

Shawn says everyone knows the story and now it’s time for the final chapter.

Bret says he just wants to wake up tomorrow morning with the title.

Gorilla Monsoon is introduced as the new President of the WWF.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending and this is a sixty minute Iron Man match, meaning the most falls (pin, submission, countout, disqualification) in the time limit wins. Lothario comes out with no Shawn but he points to the top of the arena for Shawn’s famous zipline entrance into the crowd. That shot of him riding down into the arena was shown on a lot of highlight packages for a very long time. Hebner explains the rules in full, even down to how a countout works, and we’re ready to go.

Feeling out process to start as Shawn grabs some quick takedowns to frustrate Bret just a bit. Bret holds on to a headlock to slow things down as Vince tries to say there are no Bret or Shawn fans but only WWF fans. Lawler is all over him for sounding stupid as this headlock continues. In this case though it makes sense as both guys would want to conserve energy.

Shawn fights up into a top wristlock but Bret reverses into a front facelock. That goes nowhere so Shawn escapes into an armbar. They get to their feet and try to pick up the pace but it’s right back to the mat for more arm cranking on the champ. Bret takes him into the corner for some shots to the ribs but Shawn forearms him in the jaw and headscissors Bret to the floor.

We’re ten minute in and you might think that headscissors would start the second gear but instead it’s right back to the armbar from Shawn. Bret stops to yell at Lothario and the distraction lets Shawn crank on the arm all over again. The hold stays on so long that Vince and Jerry actually talk strategy and analyze the match. Back up and Michaels gets caught in a spinebuster but fights out of a Sharpshooter attempt. They head to the floor and Bret is sent into the timekeeper’s area where a superkick takes the timekeeper’s (who looked a lot like Tony Chimmel) head off.

Back in and Bret grabs a chinlock to slow things down all over again. Shawn FINALLY fights up and hits a hard clothesline but Bret nails one of his own and it’s right back to that chinlock. Another comeback from Shawn includes a dropkick and there’s another armbar. We’re twenty minutes in and this already isn’t boding well. Shawn pulls on the wrist with his foot in Bret’s face before switching to a regular armbar. Good thing too as the fans might have been interested in something different.

Back up and they get a bit more aggressive as Bret’s shoulder is sent into the post. A shoulder breaker and hammerlock slam (shades of the Andersons) have Bret in even more trouble but Shawn isn’t following up. There’s a cross armbreaker on the wrong arm so Shawn quickly switches to the proper version. Shawn switches up to a seated armbar for a good bit until Bret fights up with a Stun Gun for the break. The arm keeps giving him problems though and Shawn sends Bret face first into the buckle. Bret isn’t done yet though as he comes back with the Five Moves of Doom.

For some reason he goes to the top rope and Shawn is ready to catch him, but Bret puts his knee on the back of Shawn’s head and drives him down onto the mat. Shawn comes back with a powerslam for two as there are thirty minutes to go. A slam brings Bret off the top again and a hurricanrana lets Shawn hammer away. That’s one of the first lucha style moves Shawn has used after basically promising to use a bunch of them. Nice little head game there and not something you often see work on Bret.

The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Bret to the floor but Michaels goes to the top and LAUNCHES himself down onto Bret. That was one heck of a dive and always impresses me whenever I see this match. Back in and a PerfectPlex gets two on the champ. We hit a sleeper, which is smart but annoying after everything we’ve sat through here. Bret fights up (the arm injury disappeared a long time ago) and backdrops Shawn WAY over the top for a huge crash. Lothario comes over to check on him but somehow it’s not a countout.

Back in and Bret works on the back with an ax handle and backbreaker. There are twenty minutes left and Bret drops him with a belly to back superplex. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit until Shawn fights up, only to have Bret throw him to the floor and into Lothario. With fifteen minutes to go, Bret even screams at Jose as he tries to get up and belly to bellys Shawn down for two. That’s rather heelish of him. The yelling, not the suplex.

Shawn’s right hands don’t get him anywhere as Bret counters a rollup by kicking Michaels outside again. This time it’s Bret diving through the ropes to take Shawn down again. Bret is willing to take the countout now but then changes his mind and breaks it up. Lawler: “He’s his own worst enemy! No, not as long as I’m still alive.” Back in and a German suplex gets two for the champ and Shawn can barely stand. He’s still able to slug it out from his knees though, telling Bret to bring it on.

A big headbutt puts Shawn down but Bret can’t follow up. After a few shakes of his head, Bret grabs another reverse chinlock and we have ten minutes to go. Shawn fights up yet again but it’s a double clothesline to reset things all over again. There’s a superplex from Bret as Vince declares it over at the six minute mark. He’s wrong on both counts as not only does it not get a fall but there were nearly seven minutes left.

Shawn kicks Bret in the face to block a Sharpshooter so Hart has to settle for a half crab instead. Unfortunately Shawn is right next to the ropes for the save and we’ve got five minutes left. Bret dives into a boot and both guys are down again. Shawn comes back with a nice dropkick to send Bret into the corner and there’s the Irish whip for Bret’s chest first buckle bump. Four minutes left and Shawn forearms into the nipup (which the camera misses) as it’s time for a comeback. Lawler: “Michaels has just gotten his nineteenth wind!”

With three minutes left, Shawn gets two off a top rope ax handle. The top rope elbow gets the same and Shawn plants him with a gutwrench powerbomb. He goes up with two minutes left and a moonsault press gets another near fall. A middle rope hurricanrana gets the same and Shawn is winded. With a minute left, Shawn goes up top but misses a dropkick and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Bret cranks back on it but the time limit expires at 1:00:00.

We’re not done yet though as Bret goes to leave, only to have Monsoon make a ruling that we’re getting sudden death because THERE MUST BE A WINNER. Bret is ticked and starts hammering away on the back but Shawn jumps over him in the corner and hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. Everyone (including me when I was watching live) jumps to their feet but Shawn can’t follow up. Both guys stagger to their feet and another superkick gives Shawn the first fall and the title at 1:01:50.

Rating: B-. This is a really tricky one to grade but the first twenty minutes ruin whatever else they could have had here. It’s just a bunch of laying around in rest holds, which may make sense but that doesn’t mean it’s entertaining. This would have been much better off as a regular match running about forty minutes as it increases drama and lets you believe that something might happen at any given moment.

The match is fondly remembered and it’s certainly not bad, but it’s definitely nowhere near a classic. Allegedly neither guy wanted to job multiple times to the other and it caused the match to be a bunch of waiting around for the first and decisive fall, which made for a dull match until the last five minutes. Unfortunately that’s the case with almost all Iron Man matches and it certainly happened here too. Good match, but not as great as it’s hyped up to be.

Bret is all ticked off and leaves, not to be seen for over seven months. Vince gets in the great line of “the boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.” Shawn is stunned but finally celebrates like you knew he was going to do.

A highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. This was a one match show but the Diesel vs. Undertaker match was more than enough to help push it up to a higher level. This was still a bad time for the company but they were smart enough to go with a new direction. Shawn’s success as champion would be hit or miss on his best day but there was no question that this was the right move at the time. It’s not a great show, but when nearly half of it is spent on an entertaining enough match, the show is a success.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

I’m kind of stunned that the Iron Man has stayed consistent.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/19/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-12-one-really-long-match-and-not-much-else/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/21/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xii-grabbing-the-brass-ring/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6