Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25^th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 28 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Brock broke Shawn Michaels’ arm as well to make it a domestic issue for HHH. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: August 9, 2018
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

We’re coming up on Summerslam and since he was on Raw last week, there’s no Brock Lesnar to be seen this time around. There is however Roman Reigns, who I have a feeling we’ll be hearing from here. Hopefully there’s some more stuff from Smackdown though, as that show was great. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

No Way Jose vs. Curt Hawkins

Jose has the Conga Line to make him look a little better. Hawkins’ shoulder doesn’t do much good as Jose headlocks him and grabs an atomic drop. A shot to the ribs puts Jose on the floor and Hawkins is rather pleased. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by a snap suplex into the second chinlock. Hawkins misses the elbow though and Jose slugs away, followed by a fireman’s carry flapjack for two. The Pop Up right hand finishes Hawkins at 5:30.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how many times we can see this match but I’m sure WWE is willing to try and find out. Hawkins losing over and over, at least in this form, stopped being interesting a few months ago and until things actually change up, there’s not much interest to be had in him. Granted the same is true for Jose, but that’s a little less surprising.

From Raw.

We get a sitdown interview with Reigns to talk about his match with Lesnar. We go through their whole history, including the great Wrestlemania XXXI match, the pretty bad Wrestlemania XXXIV match, the stupid Greatest Royal Rumble match and then last week’s Lesnar segment, which really had nothing to do with Reigns. He’s sick of Lesnar using WWE and disrespecting the fans, so Lesnar is learning a lesson at Summerslam.

This was a long recap of their story, and did little more than tell us that it’s been going on for a very long time. Your stat of the night: Lesnar has held the title 487 days. He’s had five televised title defenses and three of them have been against Reigns. Two of them have also involved Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman. In total, four different people have gotten title shots in 487 days.

From Raw again.

We get a sitdown interview with Paul Heyman, who doesn’t know where he stands with Brock Lesnar. Brock has disconnected his phone number and won’t respond to intermediaries. Heyman looks like he’s about to burst into tears as he says Lesnar is just going to get annoyed at this interview. He considers Lesnar a friend and this isn’t how he pictured it ending.

They had talked about riding off into the sunset together with the Universal and UFC Heavyweight Championships on his shoulders. Heyman starts crying but says just do it. When asked about any potential new clients, Heyman says it would be inconceivable just a week ago, but doesn’t say year or no. He still picks Lesnar, because he’s never been so angry. Reigns doesn’t stand a chance. This was the best thing on the show tonight, mainly because it was actually different.

From Smackdown.

Byron is in the ring to interview Miz, who pops up on screen instead of coming to the ring. He calls Byron a bad announcer and plugs the success of Miz and Mrs., which doesn’t have a single bad review on Rotten Tomatoes. Byron keeps asking about the match with Bryan but Miz ignores him to plug the show. Tonight he learns CPR, which would be a good idea for Bryan because he needs to resuscitate his career. Miz finally mentions it, saying he’s become a star while Bryan has been working in a garden.

Bryan needs this match while Miz needs to be recognized as WWE Champion. Miz is here night after night while Bryan has been off in bed crying. He’s not hiding from anyone and at Summerslam, Bryan is getting exposed as being beneath Miz. Go talk to Bryan about it because he’s probably off eating kale and talking about his wife. Bryan runs into the room, beats up security and punches Miz a few times until a potted plant to the back of the head lets Miz escape. The string of good promos continues tonight, but that kind of goes without saying for these two.

Heath Slater/Rhyno/Chad Gable vs. Ascension/Mike Kanellis

Slater forearms Kanellis down to start and it’s Gable tagging himself in to crank on the arm. Viktor comes in and gets his arm twisted around as well, followed by Gable spinning all over the place into a crucifix. Everyone comes in and the good guys clean house as we take a fast break.

Back with Kanellis kicking Gable in the face for two, followed by Viktor dropping a fist for the same. Gable dives over Konnor but still can’t get over for the tag. Konnor knocks Slater off the apron so Gable rolls underneath the clothesline to tag Rhyno. Everything breaks down and Kanellis tries a rolling German suplex, only to be reversed into the Rolling Chaos Theory for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: C-. Still not a great match but it was fast enough to make things work. I’m not sure why Slater/Rhyno/Gable can’t make it onto the main show more often, or why Slater/Rhyno haven’t been sent over the Smackdown where they need some fresh blood in the tag team division. Kanellis…just hope your wife’s injury doesn’t last much longer.

Video on Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss, including Rousey going nuts and getting suspended. They meet for the title at Summerslam.

From Raw again.

Ronda Rousey vs. Alicia Fox

Natalya and Alexa Bliss are the seconds. Before the match, Bliss is asked about Rousey and mocks the interviewer for not being able to come up with something better. Fox shows a clip of herself beating up Rousey last week and talks about how great Rousey is at everything else. Was she the captain of the Raw Survivor Series team? Bliss cuts her off and thanks Fox for everything she’s done. Rousey can deal with what’s left of Rousey in Brooklyn and here’s Rousey to cut her off.

We get the Big Match Intros and Fox chills in the corner at the bell. Rousey isn’t impressed by the trash talk and shoves her to the floor. Back in and Fox bails right back to the floor again. A Bliss distraction doesn’t work very well as Natalya cuts her off, only to be posted. Fox tries a charge at the distracted Rousey but the referee stops her for some reason.

Fox pounds away in the corner….and there’s the death stare. The rights and lefts have Fox rocked and the judo throws have Fox rocked. Fox bails for the third time but Rousey follows her for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Fox gets suplexed with ease, followed by the armbar (with a lot of shouting to Bliss) for the tap at 3:47.

Rating: C+. The stuff where Rousey was smashing Fox was fun but this would have been better served as bell, armbar, bell. To be fair though, it’s kind of hard to complain when Rousey beating the heck out of people is some of the most entertaining stuff WWE can do. Maybe not as fun as WWE trying to turn Fox into something worthy of the spot but still fun nonetheless.

Post match Rousey gets interviewed by Bliss tries a sneak attack. Rousey flips her over and gives Bliss a look saying “are you kidding me?” Bliss bails and Rousey promises to win the title.

Overall Rating: C-. The talking was strong with this one and that’s the best thing that could have happened. This week’s TV was better than usual with the promos being entertaining and making me want to see Summerslam. On the other hand you have the pretty worthless original matches but at least they kept those short so they didn’t waste much time. Check out Smackdown instead of watching this though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2018
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

Now this should be an interesting one as Renee Young will be the first woman to do a full night of commentary on Raw. We’re also in WCW country and it’s the go home show for Summerslam. It’s hard to say what we’ll be seeing tonight as it’s not clear if Brock Lesnar will be around or not (I wouldn’t get my hopes up). Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

No In Memory of Jim Neidhart graphic. Seriously?

Here’s a somber Ronda Rousey to say that Natalya won’t be here tonight. She talks about the importance of fathers, including Neidhart who passed away earlier today. Natalya was the first person to help her out when she got here and Rousey will be the first person to stand up for Natalya in her absence. Alexa Bliss had to cheat to beat Natalya and on Sunday, she’ll beat Bliss to win the title. That’s the same thing Ember Moon is going to do right now so it’s time for a match.

Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss has Alicia Fox, with plants in her hair and wearing one sleeve of a jacket due to the armbar from last week. Hang on though as Bliss wants to rant about Rousey being such a bully. Bliss is tired of having everyone say Rousey is going to destroy her on Sunday. Rousey has had three matches and Bliss is a five time Women’s Champion.

It’s not fair that Kurt Angle is willing to protect Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns but Rousey is allowed out here during this match. Therefore she’s talked to Constable Baron Corbin and has gotten her own security tonight. Four large guys come out and get in the ring, allowing Bliss to knock Ember into Rousey, knocking the latter off the apron. Rousey beats up the security and the match is after a break.

We’re joined in progress after a break with Moon grabbing an armbar so here’s a promo for Reigns vs. Lesnar. The match wasn’t back on for a minute and it’s off to the split screen nonsense. Back with Moon getting two and Bliss rolling to the floor, earning herself a baseball slide. Back in and we hit a chinlock for a bit before Bliss dropkicks her in the ribs. Bliss gets kicked to the floor again and we take a break, four minutes and fifteen seconds into a match with a minute of that in split screen.

Back with Moon rolling her up for two but getting caught in a chinlock. A basement dropkick cuts Moon off again and Bliss glares at Rousey, who doesn’t seem happy. Moon screams a lot and comes back with the tornado DDT into the snap suplex ala Wade Barrett but Rousey stops to beat up Fox. Bliss actually goes after Rousey and throws her into the barricade in a bit of bravery/loyalty you wouldn’t have expected. Back in and Moon hits a gutbuster, followed by the Eclipse….for two as Fox comes in for the DQ at 12:20.

Rating: C-. All of the cuts didn’t help things but they did the right thing by not having Bliss take a fall there. I was expecting Rousey to come in and get Moon disqualified but this way works better. Bliss being loyal to Fox was surprising as she tends to change friends a lot (Mickie James anyone?) and it was nice to have them not go with the champion losing going into a big match.

Long recap of two weeks ago when Brock Lesnar attacked Paul Heyman (but we need to cut out time from a match for a promo video) and Heyman’s interview from last week. We get some extra footage, with Heyman implying that there might be a way for Reigns to win but cutting himself off and leaving. Heyman turn or Shield reunion perhaps?

Angle and Corbin argue about Corbin making the match earlier. Corbin doesn’t apologize for going over Angle’s head and goes to the ring. Dolph Ziggler (with his hair down and straight for a weird look) and Drew McIntyre come in to complain about Seth Rollins not being here. Angle says Rollins had some travel issues after his publicity tour of China but he’ll be here tonight.

Baron Corbin vs. Tyler Breeze

Corbin is picking both his and Finn Balor’s opponents tonight. Breeze has his old NXT music back for a nice change of pace. Corbin breaks up a wristlock attempt with a hard shove and we’re already in the chinlock. As the hold stays on, Renee and Corey argue over Corbin’s abuses of power. Breeze fights back with a dropkick to put Corbin on the floor, only to catch Breeze coming off the apron.

Graves asks Renee how she can prefer Balor to Corbin, with Renee saying she plays favorites a bit. We hit the second chinlock (someone has to be telling him to do that hold so often as he couldn’t be dumb enough to think it’s a good idea) but Breeze fights back up with a kick to the face. Corbin gets clotheslined to the floor, where he sidesteps a dive to send Breeze crashing to the floor. They get back in and a wicked Deep Six ends Breeze at 4:13.

Rating: D. The ending was the right result, even though it continues this really bad story between Corbin and Balor. I like Corbin using something other than his finisher to get the win here, as it fits the narrative of Corbin being big enough to beat someone that much smaller. Then when Balor kicks out of it on Sunday, he’ll look like a bigger star. Not a good match, but they kept it short.

Post match Corbin praises himself and brings out Balor’s opponent: Jinder Mahal. Actually hang on a second as we’ll throw in Kevin Owens to make it a handicap match.

Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor

Corbin introduces Balor as the little engine that can’t. Hang on again though as here’s Angle to give Balor a partner.

Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor/Braun Strowman

I had this written before Angle’s music stopped playing because WWE is that predictable. Strowman gets a heck of a home state reaction and Graves calls him the Meat Castle. Renee: “….the Meat Castle?” Jinder takes Balor down to start as Renee talks about her Monday meditation app. Renee: “Everybody get your chi right.” Balor rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Mahal but it’s quickly off to Owens for some stomping.

We hit the armbar for a bit but Balor slips out and knocks Owens down, allowing the hot tag to Strowman. Owens bails to the floor as Strowman runs over Mahal, followed by picking up an unsuspecting Balor and slamming him onto Jinder. It’s time for a big dive from Balor but Owens trips him (or at least swipes at his feet), drawing Braun over for the chase. That’s enough to put Mahal and Owens together for the big flip dive and we take a break.

Back with Mahal holding Balor in a chinlock (the same arm trap one that Corbin uses) before handing it off to Owens for some right hands to the head. That sounds like the time for an NXT Takeover: Brooklyn promo and we’re back WITH THE SAME MAHAL CHINLOCK. Balor comes back with a Sling Blade on Owens and there’s the hot tag to Strowman. After running Mahal over, Strowman heads outside for a lap around the ring, though this time he picks up Sunil Singh and drives him into Owens for a change of pace. Back in, Strowman shrugs off Mahal’s jumping knee and powerslams him for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: D+. As sick as I am of that chinlock, I’m at least slightly interested in Owens vs. Strowman. I’m not sure who is going to win there and they could go either way with the briefcase. That being said, Strowman is in big trouble if they have him drop the briefcase and not become Universal Champion at some point. Eventually you have to win something that matters, and being a failed Mr. Money in the Bank isn’t enough.

Post match Strowman chases Owens off, leaving Corbin to hit End of Days on Balor. For the love of all things good and holy, please let this terrible feud end on Sunday.

Angle can’t get hold of Rollins so here are Ziggler and McIntyre again to mock Rollins for not being here. If Rollins can’t be here for the contract signing, there’s no title match. Ziggler asks to see the contract for the title match to make sure nothing has slipped through the cracks. Angle calls them idiots after they leave.

Here’s a singer named Ricky Roberts, who says Elias is his favorite singer. He’s not very good right not but he’s going to wind up in the Country Music Hall of Fame. With a name like that, I’d expect him to be more of a Rock N Roll fan. Then Elias is going to come find him and he’ll say “Hello, I am Elias.”

Cue the real Elias to shill the What Would Elias Do bracelet and offer his respect to Roberts if he can beat Bobby Lashley tonight. Elias mentions his New York City concert on Saturday and mocks the North Carolina fans, but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Lashley says we already have a no talent musical clown around here so Roberts hits him with the guitar. The annoyed Lashley hits a heck of a spinebuster and glare at Elias. No vertical suplex?

Bo Dallas is doing the math before tonight’s triple threat match when Curtis Axel comes in to tell him to be positive. Dallas panics because the odds are lower against them than usual. Axel: “The odds are always against us.” Dallas has checked the numbers over and over, even DM’ing mathematicians on Twitter. Axel: “You can’t spell Raw Tag Team Champions without B team!” Dallas: “Or a whole bunch of other letters!” They’re going to go out there and run for their lives. B Team!

Ziggler and McIntyre are looking over the contract.

Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt vs. B Team

The B Team is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Wilder pulls Dallas into the corner to start and it’s already time to take turns on him. Matt comes in pretty quickly though and clotheslines Wilder in the corner (not a splash Cole), followed by a Side Effect for two. After a shout of V1 (little flashback), the middle rope elbow to the neck looks to set up the Twist of Fate. Dawson makes a blind tag though and a Hart Attack (nice touch) gets two. Wilder gets two more off a legdrop and we take a break.

Back with Wyatt hitting release Rock Bottoms on everyone but Axel (and Hardy, but I thought that was understood). Dawson sunset flips Wyatt, sending Axel flying in a German suplex at the same time. Wyatt heads outside and counters Wilder’s suicide dive into another Rock Bottom onto the apron. A dive off the steps from Dallas knocks Wyatt down but Hardy superplexes Dawson onto the big pile. Back in and the Revival reverses a double Sister Abigail into the Shatter Machine, only to have Axel steal the pin to retain at 10:30.

Rating: C. It dragged a bit at the beginning but they got to a nice pace for a few moments there after the break. The B Team retaining is fine and hopefully they don’t have a title match on Sunday. The card is already loaded and there’s no need to do a rematch, or just a two on two title match, and make the card even heavier than it already is. What we got here was good enough and the B Team’s roll continues.

The B Team celebration goes to the back and they run into an unimpressed Roman Reigns.

Ziggler has found an issue in the contract: Seth is allowed to have someone in his corner. Angle is willing to take it out if Drew isn’t allowed to be in Ziggler’s corner. Ziggler lets it go.

Here’s Roman Reigns for his last big speech before Sunday. Reigns says every day he tells himself to leave a place better than he found it. He can’t do that with Brock Lesnar still around though and Lesnar needs to go. Reigns is sick of hearing about him and seeing him so it ends at Summerslam. On Sunday, he’s taking back his Universal Title (which he’s never held) and sending Lesnar so far back into the UFC that his head will be stuck inside Dana White.

Cue a perky Paul Heyman to say it’s a new day, yes it is. If he was going to steal a line from someone on Smackdown though, it would be the Usos, who are the future of the tag team division. He doesn’t actually steal an Uso line, but he’s looking at the future of another division in Roman Reigns. Roman: “This is gonna be good y’all.” After being accused of crying on command, Heyman says Reigns can make history right here, right now. He brings up what he was about to mention last week in the interview: he’s willing to tell Reigns each and every single one of Lesnar’s secrets.

Reigns thinks he can beat Lesnar on his own, but with Heyman in his corner, he’s GUARANTEED to win the Universal Title. Heyman extends his hand and that gets a big YES chant. Reigns says he knows all those secrets already because he won in Saudi Arabia and would have done it a lot faster without Heyman. That’s true and Heyman hopes his sins won’t be held against him. Heyman sees himself as the new advocate for Reigns next week and offers his hand again.

Another YES chant gets turned down as Reigns talks about his father teaching him to swim with the sharks. He also knows how to see someone who is drowning, like Heyman. The thing is Heyman isn’t worth saving so the answer is no. Heyman talks about riding with Reigns’ father Sika and speaks some Samoan, which gets Reigns’ attention. Heyman even has an agreement written up, which Reigns can answer on Sunday.

As Reigns looks at it, Heyman pepper sprays him and leaves. Cue Brock Lesnar to beat Reigns up and put him out with a guillotine choke. Lesnar and Heyman walk up the ramp but Lesnar goes back for an F5. So did Heyman and Lesnar make up or was two weeks ago a big ruse? I ask rhetorically because I don’t expect an answer from WWE. Heyman was great here as usual and Reigns sounded good for a change. I still don’t want to see the match, but they did a nice job here.

Mojo Rawley/Authors of Pain vs. Titus Worldwide/Bobby Roode

Rezar runs Crews over to start and we hit the neck crank, meaning let’s have an inset promo about Rousey vs. Bliss. Back with Akam holding his own neck crank but Rawley comes in and can’t hit a belly to back suplex. Instead it’s a hot tag to Roode for some clotheslines and a Blockbuster for two. Everything breaks down and the Glorious DDT finishes Rawley at 2:47. At least it was short and ended clean, so expect multiple rematches in the coming weeks.

Reigns is getting his eyes washed out.

We get a tribute to Jim Neidhart, focusing on how he broke into the business and the Hart Foundation. Thankfully we get some of Neidhart’s over the top promos and laugh. I was worried when they didn’t even have a graphic earlier tonight so this was a welcome surprise.

The announcers talk about the Hart Foundation, including a mention of their Summerslam 1990 match with Demolition. I loved that one.

Summerslam rundown, including the Revival vs. the B Team added to the Kickoff Show. Better than adding it to the regular show. The Cruiserweight Title is on the Kickoff Show as well, because we NEED three matches on the Kickoff Show.

We look back at Rousey snapping and beating up Bliss’ security, including one running away in a funny bit.

Sasha Banks vs. Ruby Riott

Banks wastes no time in taking Riott down and pulling on her head. A very early Bank Statement has Riott in the ropes and they head to the floor. Ruby uses a Riott Squad distraction and kicks Banks into the steps, with her hand getting caught to really give Riott a target. Back in and Riott twists the hand around before stomping on it as we take a break.

We come back with Riott working on the hand until Sasha runs the corner for an armdrag to break the hold. The hand is hurting, so Banks dives onto Sarah Logan in a big crash. Liv Morgan pulls Banks off the apron so Bayley is right there for the save. Banks hits Ruby in the hand though and a rollup is good for the pin at 8:59.

Rating: C-. They’re going to add something else to Sunday aren’t they? This Bayley/Sasha feud has been running on a treadmill for months now and there’s no sign that it’s going to get better anytime soon. The hand thing was fine but how many times can we see these people wrestle over and over without getting anywhere?

Photos of Seth Rollins in China last week.

Rollins isn’t here so Corbin tells Angle that Stephanie will NOT be happy.

Here’s Angle for the contract signing, though first he says that Lesnar isn’t going to be suspended or stripped of the title, because he wants Reigns to bring the title back to Raw every week. Cue Ziggler and McIntyre to say they don’t believe Angle. He’s already lost one title match since Rollins isn’t here so Angle won’t let the other one fall through. Ziggler says there’s no Rollins here tonight because he’s scared.

Angle intros Rollins twice but no one shows up. McIntyre goes into a rant about why they got together in the first place: to battle complacency from people who think they belong on top just because they got here. People like Rollins are on top of that list because he worked so hard to get where he is. Ziggler would know because he did the same thing. The fans mean nothing though because the second a shiny object loses its luster, everyone turns on you.

It’ll happen to everyone because this vicious cycle can never end because of people like them. Where were they during the hard times? Ziggler knows what it’s like to have someone who has his back and now he doesn’t care about anyone in the crowd or in the back. He signs and here’s Rollins, just a few seconds late because for the first time ever, we don’t have a camera watching people show up.

Rollins has actually been here for awhile but he didn’t want to come out here until Ziggler actually signed. It’s true that he was dealing with travel issues, but they weren’t his travel issues. See, there was that clause in the contract about Rollins having someone in his corner because he’s tired of dealing with McIntyre all the time.

Since there’s going to be a Scottish psychopath in one corner, Rollins better have a lunatic in his. Cue the returning Dean Ambrose, now with a beard and a big haircut (he looks like a less muscular HHH), to a major reaction. The fight is on (with Renee not saying a word) and a superkick knocks McIntyre into Dirty Deeds and Rollins signs the contract to end the show.  I like the new look and this is exactly where the story should have gone.

Overall Rating: C+. The first hour was really, really rough with some flat out bad segments and stories (Corbin vs. Balor makes me want to rip by hair out, especially anything Corbin does) but the rest picked it up a few notches. Ambrose returning helped a lot and the Reigns/Heyman/Lesnar segment was quite good.

The biggest problem around here though is not knowing how to advance and then end stories. How many stories and feuds just keep going week after week and match after match? Corbin vs. Balor, Rollins vs. Ziggler, Bayley/Sasha and Reigns vs. Lesnar among others. That was on display tonight with several matches and segments that I feel like I’ve seen a dozen times already. There were some good ones, but this company needs a seminar in structuring a wrestling story. I’m more interested in Summerslam (at least parts of it) than I was coming in though so we’ll call it a slight success.

Results

Ember Moon b. Alexa Bliss via DQ when Alicia Fox interfered

Baron Corbin b. Tyler Breeze – Deep Six

Finn Balor/Braun Strowman b. Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens – Powerslam to Mahal

B Team b. Revival and Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Shatter Machine to Wyatt

Titus Worldwide/Bobby Roode b. Authors of Pain/Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT to Rawley

Ruby Riott b. Sasha Banks – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE is saddened to learn that Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart has passed away. https://t.co/Isxv3ElA3Y

— WWE (@WWE) August 13, 2018

 

Egads man.  This has been a rough year few weeks for wrestling.

Neidhart was a good tag wrestler and formed a perfect combination with Bret Hart in the Hart Foundation.  The infectious laugh always helped too and his promos helped carry the team.  How can you not love a beard like that?

Fusion #17
Date: August 10, 2018
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Rich Bocchini

Things are already starting to get interesting around here all over again, just after Battle Riot. We still have Black Friday Management and Promociones Dorado hooking up to make things that much more dangerous, but there are several stars who could rise up to challenge them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Earlier this week, Kotto Brazil, Barrington Hughes and Shane Strickland challenging Sami Callihan and the Death Machines to WAR GAMES. Well this just got a lot more interesting.

The ten man WarGames, with two more partners for each team to be announced, is confirmed for September 6 in Fort Lauderdale.

Barrington Hughes vs. Leon Scott

They slug it out and Hughes is rocked less than ten seconds in. A release Rock Bottom plants Scott and there’s the big elbow to draw in Sawyer Fulton for the DQ at 37 seconds.

Post match Hughes fights back but Sami comes in with a baseball bat to the head to cut him down. Brazil runs in and takes the bat for the save. Kotti is tired of that and wants Sami RIGHT NOW. He wants to show Sami that Kotto can and Kotto will.

Kotto Brazil vs. Sami Callihan

Before the bell, Sami gets dropkicked off the apron and Kotto hits a big flip dive onto both him and the Death Machines. A 619 underneath the bottom rope has Sami in more trouble but he’s right back with a powerbomb to take over. The bell rings and it’s Sami chopping away in the corner to rip some skin off Kott’s chest. Sami takes him to the floor and chokes with a boot, followed by some wild rights and lefts back inside.

A chinlock slows things down for a few moments but Sami stops to spit. You never spit when you have the chance and Brazil is back up with some dropkicks. A hanging Sister Abigail cuts him off in a hurry though and Sami demands a standing ten count. You don’t get that very often and it fits Sami well. Kotto gets up and it’s right back to the chinlock. This time the counter is a heck of a tornado DDT but Sami is up with a heck of a clothesline.

With the wrestling not working, Sami loads up a pile of chairs on the floor, with the legs of one sticking up. Tony can’t handle the idea of Sami trying to impale Kotto with a running Razor’s Edge so thankfully Brazil slips out and gets two off a Code Red. Kotto takes him up top for a super hurricanrana but Sami counters into a super Jackknife (FREAKING OW MAN!). Get Outta Here is good for the pin on Brazil at 10:17.

Rating: B-. I’m getting more and more impressed by Kotto every single week. He’s gone from the guy who couldn’t win a single match to a guy you could see getting the big upset here. Brazil actually fits into the WarGames match and hopefully he gets a big run out of this push.

Brian Pillman Jr., Davey Boy Smith Jr. and Teddy Hart are in Calgary and really don’t care to answer any questions from internet media while dropping various Brian Pillman references (including a pencil reference). Davey refers to them as the new Hart Foundation and threatens the cameraman. I could go for this, if there isn’t as much Teddy.

Konnan says there’s nothing up with him talking to Rey Fenix and Pentagon Jr. because they’re just friends. Low Ki comes in and says he doesn’t buy it. It would be in Konnan’s best interest to mind his own business. They start speaking Spanish and tensions are high.

Middleweight Title: Joey Janela vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman

Friedman is defending and this is Falls Count Anywhere, meaning Janela can jump him in the back for two before they’re ever in the arena. Janela drags him into said arena by the scarf (nice touch) but Friedman drops him face first onto a table for two. Tony thinks the violent nature of the match benefits Janela. Rich: “Why’s that?” Tony: “Because he’s nuts!”

Friedman’s arm gets sent into a chair and Joey knocks it into a chair for good measure. Janela’s girlfriend Aria Blake smiles a lot as Friedman gets superkicked into a pile of chairs. Back up and Friedman hides behind her, which of course is enough for him to sucker Janela in. They get inside for the first time with Friedman stomping on the arm and slamming him into the mat for two.

We hit the chinlock so it’s time to plug WarGames. Janela’s comeback doesn’t last long as Friedman knees him in the ribs and we take a break. Back with Janela hitting a double stomp off the apron onto a chair for two and dragging Friedman up the aisle. One heck of a low blow cuts Janela down again but he’s fine enough to backdrop Friedman. Janela stops to ask Aria for a kiss though and she clocks him with a bottle, giving Friedman the retaining pin at 10:19.

Rating: C-. The ending was set up last week and was the kind of thing that the match needed. I’m still not sure I get Janela but I’m starting to get the idea behind him. Friedman needs some wins to establish himself as champion and there’s a good chance that this is going to be continuing for a good while.

Post match Friedman kisses Blake, much to Bocchini’s distress.

Callihan has hijacked a camera and says he knows who he wants on his WarGames team. It’s Jimmy Havoc, who, after agreeing to never talk about Mexico again (not sure what that means), wants to be sold on the match a bit. Sami explains the match by saying there will be five other people locked in a cage for him to hurt. Havoc is open to negotiations over drinks. He would be the right call for a spot like that.

The Stud Stable comes up to Team Filthy to talk about them ruining Colonel Parker’s hat. Parker wants a match set for later, though Team Filthy wants to make sure the Stable will be wearing pants. Lawlor warns them to Google Team Filthy and find out what they’re all about. Apparently the match will be a Dojo Challenge, with details to be announced.

Konnan talks to Pentagon Jr./Rey Fenix, who rip up their Promociones Dorado contracts and leave with him. As usual I don’t think wrestling knows how contracts work.

Havoc is official for WarGames. Those must have been some good drinks.

Kevin Sullivan tells Brian Pillman Jr. to not associate with Teddy Hart and Davey Boy Smith Jr. Pillman says he likes those guys but Sullivan throws the cameraman out.

Teddy Hart vs. John Hennigan

The winner gets a World Title shot. The fans are behind Hart during the entrances but seem pleased with John (dang it another last name to remember) as he poses. Feeling out process to start and we hit the dueling chants. Johnny spins out of a wristlock but you don’t ask Teddy to get into a flipping contest. A springboard moonsault into a wristlock gets Teddy out but Johnny lands on his feet because his balance is incredible. Johnny sweeps him down into a chinlock but Teddy rolls him down into a legbar.

Hart bails to the floor and steps to the side before Johnny can try a flip dive. Back in and Johnny scores with a superkick to send Teddy outside. Of course that means a big corkscrew dive, followed by a slingshot elbow to give Johnny two. A super Samoan drop connects as the fans think Johnny sucks. Johnny: “Don’t tell me what your mama does for money fat boy!”

Teddy flips over Johnny in the corner, walks on his back (of course he does) and gets two off a sweet Code Red. A super Canadian Destroyer gets two more so Teddy springboards into a moonsault to the floor. Johnny is sat in a chair and one heck of an uppercut knocks both him and said chair backwards. Back in and a slingshot piledriver (exactly what it sounds like) sets up an Arabian Press but Johnny gets the knees up.

The slugout goes to Hennigan and a super Spanish Fly is good for two more. Hennigan’s sliding German suplex drops Teddy on his head and Starship Pain gets a very close two. Countdown to Impact misses so Teddy plants him with an implant DDT. A top rope corkscrew Lionsault connects for the same, with Tony chastising Hart for not hooking a leg. How Monsoon of him. Now the fans are more behind Johnny, including as he sits down on a sunset flip for the fast pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. They weren’t going for any kind of technical masterpiece here and that was the right idea. This was kind of a spot fest dream match and what we got was more than entertaining enough. Hennigan winning makes much more sense as he’s a far bigger star and someone you could market as a bigger opponent. That being said, Hart showed off a lot here but never went too insane that it got ridiculous. I mean, some of the kickouts aside as usual.

Overall Rating: B+. Two quite good matches, the big WarGames match being set up and an angle that is starting to grow on me in the middle. You can get somewhere with this kind of booking and it’s a very good sign to have them doing something like this, as it was the perfect balance between wrestling and storytelling. Very strong show this week and one of the best they’ve done in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Fusion #16
Date: August 3, 2018
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Matt Striker

We’re past Battle Riot and that means things are back to normal around here. Tom Lawlor won the big event and has what is pretty much a Money in the Bank contract. Other than that we have some stories coming out of the Battle Riot which could make for some interesting TV. You never know what to expect around here so let’s get to it.

Here are the Battle Riot results if you need a recap.

Note that this is listed as episode 16, meaning Battle Riot was 15. Normally I’d go in order but that would drive me nuts as time went on so I’ll go with what they say.

We look at the footage of Shane Strickland being attacked. Sami Callihan has admitted to being behind it due to bringing Shane out of the horrible places in wrestling and making him a star. Now he’s doing it for the money because Shane believes that he’s a bigger star than he really is. That means it’s time for a match. Makes enough sense.

Opening sequence.

The announcers run down the show.

Brody King vs. Jimmy Havoc

This could be interesting. King shoves the much smaller Havoc so Havoc does it right back. A missed charge puts King on the floor and Havoc goes after him with a suicide dive DDT. Havoc stops for a beer and apparently it charges him up enough that he avoids a chop, sending King’s hand HARD into the post. King’s hand is fine enough to send Havoc head first into the post and a clothesline gets two.

A standing backsplash gets the same and the rocked Havoc rolls to the floor. Back in and Havoc slaps away at the legs, eventually wrapping the leg around a rope for a chop. King comes back by smacking him upside the head for two. Havoc fakes a poke to the eye and grabs a DDT to put King down. A rolling Death Valley Driver (impressive given the size difference) and a kick to the head gives Havoc two but King sticks him with a piledriver.

One heck of a gutwrench powerbomb gives King two more and frustration has set in. A Fire Thunder Driver (the Go Home Driver, a great name) plants Havoc again and King can’t believe the kickout. With nothing else working, King grabs a chokeslam, which is countered into a rolling cradle to give Havoc the pin out of nowhere at 10:06.

Rating: C+. This was all about beating the heck out of Havoc and making King look like a power monster in the vein of Luke Harper. Havoc on the other hand gets the big win as you can imagine him facing Tom Lawlor again now that Lawlor is the Battle Riot winner. It’s a fun match with some big spots and that’s the kind of way to make both guys look good.

Brian Pillman Jr. is in the back when Kevin Sullivan comes in to talk about how great Pillman Sr. is. Sullivan offers him support and advice but Brian says he has a lot of work to do. We can’t just give Sr.’s accolades to Jr., even though Sr. respected you “Bookerman”. Sullivan seems fine with this and shakes Pillman’s hand.

Earlier today Salina de la Renta was with Sami Callihan when Low Ki came in. Low Ki pays him off and they agree to keep working together, as long as the money keeps coming.

Video on Lawler winning the Battle Riot.

Lawlor celebrated at Fenway Park.

Jake Hager vs. Simon Gotch

Hager jumps him before the bell and the referee is fine with starting the match, with Striker not being pleased. Gotch gets sent shoulder first into the post and Hager slowly stomps away until the referee tells him to let up. The delay lets Gotch score with some forearms and clotheslines but a gutwrench powerbomb plants him for two. Gotch spits in Hager’s face, earning himself a boot to the head for the pin at 3:05.

Rating: D. Kind of a weird match with a heel vs. heel setup and the announcers not getting very into the ending. Hager vs. Lawlor could be good, though we just saw it in the end of the Battle Riot. Lawlor, despite being banged up and worn down, managed to beat Hager so I’m not sure how much interest there would be in a big time match between them.

Joey Janela’s girlfriend Aria Blake is excited about his Middleweight Title shot next week but here’s Maxwell J. Friedman to be annoying. He and a buddy of his have a bet about whether or not Aria is interested in a better life than living in Joey’s grandmother’s basement. Aria says no and walks away, but I think you know where this is going.

Here’s the newest Top Ten:

10. ACH

9. Rey Fenix

8. Teddy Hart

7. John Hennigan

6. Jake Hager

5. Sami Callihan

4. Pentagon Jr.

3. Jimmy Havoc

2. Shane Strickland

1. Tom Lawlor

Konnan tries to sign Fenix to a contract but a ticked off Salina comes in to tell Konnan to mind his own business. Pentagon Jr. doesn’t look happy.

LA Park is coming.

Jimmy Yuta and Jason Cade get in another fight, this time with Cade punching him.

Preview for next week’s show with Friedman defending against Janela and John Hennigan vs. Teddy Hart.

Teddy Hart thinks Rich Swann and ACH are laughing at him but they deny everything and leave.

Shane Strickland vs. Sami Callihan

Sami has the Death Machines with him. After a long entrance, Sami does the thumbs up/thumbs down thing, only to charge straight into a kick to the head. They go outside with Sami kicking him in the head as well but Shane pops him again. Back in and Sami hides behind the referee, allowing a low blow to cut Shane down. The double underhook shoulder breaker gets two and it’s time for Sami to go after Shane’s bad knee.

A kick to the leg has Shane in trouble and Sami mocks the WHO’S HOUSE chant. We hit a modified Indian Deathlock and then a pretty bad Figure Four to keep Shane in trouble. He turns it over to force the break and Sami tells offers him an open jaw. Instead Shane hits a combination clothesline and palm strike and kicks Sami into the corner but the running boot bangs up the leg again. Shane is fine enough for the rolling cutter but Sami’s slingshot swinging neckbreaker gets two.

They trade shots to the face until both guys are knocked down, earning a well received round of applause. Sami gets sent to the apron for a low superkick and Shane plants him with a Death Valley Driver. The Swerve Stomp connects for two and Sami spits in Shane’s face. You know, because it worked so well for Gotch. An angry Shane walks into a powerbomb into a half crab…on the good leg.

Sami switches over into an STF, with Tony thinking it’s fortunate to not be on the bad leg. Some fishhooking is enough to make the referee break Sami’s hold so Shane is right back with a short armscissors. The Death Machines get on the apron for a distraction though but Sami’s Cactus Driver is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence. A kick to the bad knee is enough to set up the Cactus Driver for the pin at 15:50.

Rating: B. The time helped here and made this feel like a bigger deal. Shane isn’t the champion anymore but is still one of the biggest stars the show has. He has that presence to him and that’s one of those things you either have or you don’t. Having him lose and then rise back up the ranks would be a good story and something they could do long term, especially with Shane still having a rematch whenever.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was packed with a bunch of stuff going on, a good chunk of which has me wanting to come back. I’m interested in seeing where the stories go, which is the case a good sign for a wrestling company. They’re now feeling like an established place, a hard accomplishment to have after just a few months. Fun show here, and I’m digging the vibe around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a pretty big show with the blowoffs to two amazing feuds. The headlining act match is CM Punk vs. John Cena in a champion vs. champion match and the rematch to their masterpiece a month earlier. The match I was more excited about though was Christian vs. Randy Orton in one of the most underrated feuds in recent years. Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays the national anthem.

The opening video talks about a domino effect, triggered by CM Punk winning the Raw World Title back in Chicago at Money in the Bank. As a result, Vince McMahon was stripped of power (for all of a few months) and John Cena became the other Raw World Champion. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion and nothing else is worth talking about.

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Awesome Truth/Alberto Del Rio

Mysterio had beaten Miz to win the vacant Raw World Champion so Miz attacked him on Raw to help set this up. This is in during the full on Cole Love Miz period and the annoyance begins early. Before the match Miz complains about not being on the show but here’s R-Truth to complain about various letters. He doesn’t like spiders and Summerslam or Cee Lo Green performing so S and C are on his bad list. Cue Alberto (Mr. Raw Money in the Bank) to cut him off and we’re finally ready to go.

Morrison and Del Rio are both WAY over here but it’s Kofi vs. Miz to get things going. A double flapjack with Morrison helping out plants Miz and we get stereo nipups. Morrison gets all fired up to hammer on Truth because their partnership from a few years ago just means nothing to him. Everything breaks down for a bit with Morrison being knocked off the top rope to change control.

Miz grabs the chinlock but gets kicked in the head to knock him silly. It’s back to Kofi as things speed up and the SOS counters the Skull Crushing Finale for two. Everything breaks down for a bit and Miz hits a Diamond Cutter into a 1%er for two. I’m still not wild on that move but Kofi’s selling made it look better. The heels start taking turns on Kofi with Del Rio starting in on the arm and mocking Kofi’s clapping taunt.

Miz gets two off a clothesline as Cole sings his praises, even listing off Miz’s high school accolades. A double stomp allows the hot tag to Rey, who comes in to a roar. Mysterio starts cleaning house but Del Rio breaks up a double 619. Morrison dives onto Alberto and Truth takes the 619, followed by a top rope splash for the pin at 9:36.

Rating: B-. Take six guys and give them ten minutes to have a fun opener. I like a good six man tag and it can accomplish multiple goals in a short span. For some reason though WWE feels that the only kinds of matches you can have are singles, regular tags and triple threats so we don’t get enough of something like this. If nothing else it gave the fans a lot to cheer about in a short time, meaning they’re ready to go early on. Well done indeed.

Executive Vice President of Talent Relations Johnny Ace (you get tired just listing his job title) wants CM Punk to publicly apologize for embarrassing him on Monday. Punk says he’s sorry and offers a big grin but he turns around to see Stephanie. The champ insults the men in her life but she doesn’t seem phased. Stephanie: “But what would I know? I’m just Vince McMahon’s clueless daughter.” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” Stephanie offers a handshake for luck but Punk says no because he knows where that hand has been. WHY CAN NO ONE BURN STEPHANIE LIKE THIS TODAY???

We recap Mark Henry vs. Sheamus. This was during Henry’s rampage over everyone in his path and his Hall of Pain period. No one was left for him to beat so Sheamus, a heel at the time, came out and simply said “I’ll fight him.” I still really like that line as it sums up everything and gives you a reason to like Sheamus in two seconds. Simple, yet effective.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoves him around to start but Sheamus comes back with knees to the ribs and forearms to the back. The Irish Curse attempt is easily shrugged away though and Sheamus is tossed outside. Back in and Henry does the running crotch attack to the back of Sheamus’ head, followed by a backbreaker for your run of the mill heel offense.

An over the shoulder backbreaker keeps Sheamus in trouble but Henry misses a Vader Bomb. That means it’s time for forearms to the chest but a double shoulder puts both guys down. Sheamus is up first and the Brogue Kick knocks Henry to the floor. Ever the not that bright good guy though, Sheamus goes out after him and gets driven though the barricade for the countout at 9:22.

Rating: C+. I like that finish a lot as they made Sheamus look like a real threat with the Brogue Kick and then didn’t have him get pinned. The important thing here though was Henry looking unstoppable as he was on the way to the World Title soon after this. Smart booking here and everyone comes out looking like they should.

Christian has an insurance policy for his match against Randy Orton. It’s going to be a summer blockbuster and he’ll be like Harry Potter. Orton on the other hand will be like Cowboys and Aliens: an overrated, overproduced and overhyped flop. Hey now that movie was underrated.

Cee Lo Green does his mini concert for reasons I don’t understand. Bright Lights, Bigger City is catchy though. Some Divas come out to dance during Forget You.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly is defending in your standard Barbie vs. monster feud and has Eve Torres in her corner. Beth on the other hand has Natalya. Kelly goes straight after her to start and fires off some forearms in the corner to send Beth outside, followed by a middle rope cross body to the floor. Back in and Beth knocks her out of the corner to take over before we hit a quick chinlock. An over the shoulder backrbeaker (good move for Beth) has Kelly in trouble and Beth ties her in the Tree of Woe to make it even worse. Kelly gets knocked around in the corner but counters the Glam Slam into a victory roll to retain at 6:33.

Rating: D+. Total squash for the most part here with a fluke ending, albeit the same fluke ending to almost every Kelly vs. Beth match ever. Kelly certainly got her push because of her looks but she was getting much better in the ring near the end of her career with matches like this one being far more watchable than some of the disasters that the division hard around this time.

Stephanie leaves John Cena’s locker room. For some reason we have to see the Cena logo twice for the announcers to catch on.

R-Truth is annoyed about getting ripped off so Jimmy Hart of all people offers his managerial services. Truth agrees but realizes that Jimmy is named….uh, Jimmy, and freaks out. Ron Artest and his daughter are shown watching for a worthless cameo.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

Fallout from Money in the Bank where Bryan won by knocking Barrett off the ladder. Bryan doesn’t have his Flight of the Valkyries (yes Flight, which was the name of his WWE theme instead of Ride) theme song yet and it’s really weird to have it missing. Daniel starts in with the kicks and works on the arm as Booker talks about Daniel’s diet.

Bryan fights out of a wristlock and dropkicks Barrett down before bending Barrett’s shoulders around in a variety of painful looking ways. The running dropkick in the corner and a running kick to the chest, only to walk into the yet to be named (or at least not named here) Winds of Change. Barrett fires off his knees in the ropes and kicks Bryan out to the floor.

Back in and we hit the chinlock before Daniel escapes the Wasteland, setting up a running knee off the apron. Barrett’s pumphandle slam doesn’t work and it’s time for the yet to be named YES Kicks. Again, those chants really add a lot. The guillotine goes on and Barrett gets taken down into the LeBell Lock, only to reach over to the rope for the break. Bryan gets crotched on top though and Barrett hits a quick Wasteland for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B. I still really like this match as it’s two guys beating on each other for the better part of twelve minutes until one of them can’t get up again. Barrett was the bigger star at this point as Bryan really was just a guy in trunks at this point, albeit one with a huge upside. Sometimes you just need a good wrestling match without a lot of meaning behind it and that’s what you got here.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Randy Orton in a feud that has been going on for months. Christian lost the title less than a week after winning it and then wanted one more match. Orton eventually lost the title via DQ at Money in the Bank, setting up the rematch here with No Holds Barred. This is one of the best feuds in a long time and would have won Feud of the Year had it not been for Cena vs. Punk. It was perfectly put together and one great match after another. The two of them had chemistry together and that’s the most important thing you can do.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Christian is defending and this is no holds barred but first the champ has a big surprise for everyone as he brings out Edge. After an insane ovation, Edge thanks the fans but reminds them that he can never compete again due to his neck injuries. He was kind of glad that he left when he did though because it opened the door for Christian to become champion.

Christian lost the title five days after winning it and then complained about it for week after week. He just whined until he got his way and then won the title via disqualification. Edge might have done some dastardly things in his time but he did it with some style. Somewhere along the way, Christian became a disgrace to himself. Edge isn’t going to help him tonight and leaves Christian all alone.

Orton starts hammering away in the corner and backdrops Christian to set up the circle stomp and a knee drop for two. They head outside but Christian is smart enough to run away from an RKO through the announcers’ table. Christian grabs the title and runs into the crowd but Orton easily catches him (hint: it’s the guy in wrestling gear carrying a big gold belt) and sends it back inside.

The champ sends him shoulder first into the post (completely legal remember, even though you’ll almost never hear it called a DQ in the first place) to take over. It’s kendo stick time as we hit the standard street fight tropes. Christian misses a shot though and has to settle with an elbow to Orton’s jaw. There’s an interesting story here with Christian not being able to pull off the cheating but doing just fine with the wrestling. Orton grabs a rollup for two but gets caught in a spinebuster for the same.

It’s kendo stick time again but Christian dives into a dropkick to the ribs to keep up the subtle story. Orton can’t get in a stick shot either as the no holds barred rule hasn’t played a big role yet. The elevated DDT is countered into a Killswitch attempt which is countered into Orton’s backbreaker. He can’t hit the Punt but Christian can’t crotch him against the post as Orton uses his legs to pull Christian face first into the post instead.

Now it’s time for the real weapons as Orton pulls out some tables but Christian gets in a shot from behind and sets one up on the floor. Back in and Christian goes up top, only to get superplexed down onto an unset table for a unique spot. It also gets a near fall but that’s not as important. That table is set up in the corner but Christian has to counter the RKO by sending him to the floor. Orton sends him knees first into the steps, only to have Christian send him head first into the steps.

Next up it’s a monitor off Orton’s head to knock him onto the announcers’ table. Like any cocky heel would do though, Christian tries an RKO but gets caught in the real thing through the table for a double KO spot. Back in and Christian gets two off a Killswitch and you can hear the fans going nuts on the near fall. Well deserved too. With the table still looming in the table and another one at ringside, Christian opts for two chairs.

That’s enough for Orton as he takes one away and cracks Christian over the back, followed by a second one to send the champ off the apron and through the first table. Orton brings in the steps and some trashcans but Christian avoids a stomp onto the steps. He can’t avoid a powerslam through the table or a DDT onto the trashcan as this is getting brutal. Christian blocks the RKO with a kendo stick shot, only to have Orton hit another one a few seconds later to win the title back at 23:43.

Rating: A. I love this feud and the matches get better and better every time. There was a great story here of Christian being able to compete in the wrestling but being in WAY over his head against Orton, who has that evil streak in him. This started off as more of a wrestling match with Christian poking his toe into the violence but then embracing it full on, only to be destroyed by the more violent Orton. It’s a great story with a great match to go with it and that’s as good as it gets.

Video on WWE taking over Los Angeles for the week, including an Axxess.

We recap John Cena vs. CM Punk in a narrated video. Punk won the Raw World Title from Cena last month in a masterpiece, only to leave the company with the title immediately after. Cena won the title a few weeks later but Punk came out that night (good thing he just happened to be there), setting up a champion vs. champion match to see who really is the best man. Ignore the fact that they already established that fact at Money in the Bank when Punk beat him in the first place. Due to Punk leaving under Vince’s watch, the Board of Directors replaced Vince as boss with HHH, who Punk hates in general.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and HHH is guest referee. As expected, Punk is now a mega face and gets a big old pop, much to HHH’s annoyance. Cena on the other hand is booed out of the building as you kind of have to expect as well. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock for that horribly blatant spot calling. Punk was on a roll at this point but he was as bad as Shawn Michaels at hiding that stuff.

The dueling chants start up and sound even louder than usual, as they should at a major show. Now it’s Cena working a headlock into an armbar before Punk hits a leg lariat for two. Cena takes him down into a chinlock as this is firmly in first gear over five minutes in. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. True but at least he still is a wrestler and not someone who has been waiting two years for a UFC fight.

Punk finally escapes and puts Cena down for a breather, earning a loud CM PUNK chant. Off to a body vice as this match seems to be collapsing under the weight of the expectations from the previous match. Back up and Punk snaps his throat across the top rope to block a superplex attempt, followed by dropkicking Cena out to the floor. That goes nowhere so Punk grabs a seated abdominal stretch, only to have Cena power up into a spinning slam for a breather. Fans: “FRUITY PEBBLES!”

The finishing sequence is countered by Punk’s headlock takeover but he gets caught in the ProtoBomb. Punk comes right back with an enziguri and a Koji Clutch (I love that move) which is countered into an STF which is countered into the Anaconda Vice (Not a key lock Booker. Learn your details.). That actually gets some near falls until Cena reverses into a crossface to continue this pretty awesome sequence. Punk gets to the ropes and sends Cena outside for a suicide dive to put both guys down again.

HHH, who has been a total non-factor for the first fifteen minutes, gets to nine but can’t bring himself to finish the countout. Instead he throws both of them back inside and it’s time for the big strike off. Cena takes over with a dropkick and the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip and kick to the head for two each. Cena’s sitout powerslam gets the same, as does Punk’s middle rope bulldog.

A very weary Punk’s springboard clothesline is countered into the STF but they haven’t traded enough finishers yet. Speaking of finishers, Cena gets two off the AA. The GTS gets the same result with Punk staring up at HHH in shock. Punk comes up holding his knee though but drops the top rope elbow for two anyway. Cena pounds Punk down but eats a running knee to the face, setting up the GTS for the pin at 24:08, despite Cena’s foot clearly being on the rope.

Rating: B+. This match would be remembered so much more fondly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had such a masterpiece just a month earlier. They had to try and follow that up and it just couldn’t be done. The screwy ending didn’t help things, just like having HHH out there for the sake of waiting on a screwy finish that doesn’t seem to mean much since this is a night when instant replay doesn’t exist.

HHH applauds Punk post match and raises his hand before leaving. Punk poses….but here’s Kevin Nash through the crowd to lay Punk out. That means Alberto time and here we go.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk is defending and loses the title to an enziguri in eleven seconds.

A quick celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. This show is nothing short of excellent with only the Divas Title match being short of good (and seeing Kelly Kelly in shorts is never a bad thing). Orton vs. Christian is great stuff with a great story, the main event is awesome, Barrett vs. Bryan is a hidden gem, the crowd is white hot all night and the rest is all worth watching…..until you get to the ending.

That’s where the show falls apart as not only did the ending only make limited sense here but it would turn into one of the biggest messes anyone had seen in a few short weeks. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get his rematch next month because he was busy jobbing to HHH in the main event of Night of Champions.

Oh and Nash? Yeah he sent himself a text message telling him to come out there right then because he wanted one more crowd reaction. That’s how they followed up on the potentially hottest angle in years: Kevin Nash sent himself a text message and HHH pinned CM Punk, setting up HHH vs. Nash, who never fought Punk in this whole thing. Such is life in WWE, or out of WWE actually and you can’t blame Punk after all that.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Awesome Truth/Alberto Del Rio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2016 Redo: B-

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2016 Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2016 Redo: A

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B+

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2016 Redo: A

I think we can call this my definitive thoughts on the show as the ratings were almost identical in the last two reviews. Definitely check this one out.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2011-a-screwy-ending-isnt-a-bad-thing/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: August 8, 2018
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

So who dies this week? This has been the most murder heavy show I’ve ever seen in wrestling and that makes for some interesting television. It’s a great way to get rid of some people who aren’t exactly important, though having them be destroyed is a great way to build up their killers. That’s not something I ever thought I would write. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Matanza’s rampage and El Dragon Azteca Jr. becoming Gift of the Gods champion.

Antonio Cueto is on the phone in his office and promises another sacrifice tonight. Mariposa (looking much, ahem, bigger) comes in and says she wants the Gift of the Gods Title. A little cash and some flirting gets her a title shot tonight.

The Rabbit Tribe is here for a match but Antonio cuts them off, saying only one of them will be fighting tonight. Paul London picks Mala Suerte for failing last week.

Matanza vs. Mala Suerte

Headbutt, Wrath of the Gods in 50 seconds.

Joey Ryan/Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus/Ivelisse

Ivelisse and Jack start things off with Jack trying a handstand and getting said hand stomped. It’s off to Joey, who doesn’t seem to mind being in there with Ivelisse. Therefore let’s switch it off to Lishus, who pulls Ryan’s face into the back of his tights. Some hip swiveling ensues and Joey likes it because of course he does. Lishus misses a dive out of the corner so it’s back to Evans. A handspring into a slap to the face has him in trouble and everything breaks down.

Evans kicks Ivelisse in the head for a delayed two and Ryan rubs her face into the mat. Back up and Ivelisse scores with a sitout DDT (think Rey Mysterio’s bulldog), allowing the hot tag to Lishus. Some kicks and a legsweep take Evans down and Vampiro sounds like a Lishus fan. A dancing moonsault kneedrop has Evans in trouble but he pulls Lishus into something like a triangle choke for the knockout at 6:50.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of characters like Lishus but he’s done well so far and having him not tap here was a smart move. The company needs some fresh talent to replace all of the people who left and Lishus is as good of an idea as anyone else. Evans getting away from the Worldwide Underground is fine as well, though I’m not sure how high of a ceiling he has.

Post match Evans won’t let go so Ivelisse makes a save.

Gift of the Gods Title: El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Mariposa

Azteca is defending and Mariposa kicks him low before the bell. Back up and they trade kicks for two each with Azteca getting the better of it. A 450 gives him two but Mariposa hits a Vertebreaker of all things for the same. She loads up a second but Azteca reverses into a cradle for the pin to retain at 3:19.

Rating: C. Well it was certainly energetic. They packed some big stuff into this one but there was no way around the fact that it was smoke and mirrors to get around the intergender part. Azteca having trouble in his first defense is one way to go and it’s not like Mariposa is some horrible worker. It was fun while it lasted, but it was over so fast that it was hard to get invested.

Worldwide Underground vs. Reptile Tribe

Johnny Mundo/Taya/PJ Black/Ricky Mundo

Kobra Moon/Daga/Drago/Jeremiah Snake

If the Underground wins, Moon has to grant Johnny one wish but if the Tribe wins, Johnny has to join them. Snake is being renamed Jeremiah Crane, who was brought back to life after losing in the Three Way To The Grave match. It makes sense as there isn’t anyone in the Tribe on Johnny’s level. Oh and the announcers don’t know where Vibora is because he’s, you know, dead. Also hang on a second as Ricky is out with Aerostar replacing him due to reasons of Ricky not being very good. Aerostar even has a Worldwide Underground bandanna to complete the look.

It’s a brawl to start with Mundo and Snake in the ring for the early brawl. They head to the floor though and there’s the big springboard dive from Aerostar onto the pile below. Taya dives onto them as well, leaving Johnny to get on the apron. Snake is after him though and lifts Moon up for a bulldog back onto the pile. The Underground is sat on some chairs and, upon Moon’s orders, Snake gets a running start around the ring and takes all of them out. Back in and we settle down to Crane biting Taya’s finger, earning himself a big boot to the face.

Black comes in a few seconds later to clean house and a kick to the head gets two. It’s Drago making the save and getting kicked down as well, followed by a Flying Chuck to Daga. Snake makes the save with a shot to the head and Moon crossbodies Johnny. That’s caught, so Snake and Drago kick him down for two. Drago’s tornado DDT plants Johnny again with Taya having to make a save. Everything breaks down again (It hadn’t already?) and Aerostar busts out a springboard corkscrew plancha. Back inside, the Dragon’s Whip is countered into a Shining Wizard, followed by the End of the World for the pin on Dragon at 8:44.

Rating: C+. That was the kind of fun main event that this show thrives on with everyone flying all over the place and hitting big spot after big spot. Johnny continues to be one of the aces of the show and I still wonder how he hasn’t been signed back to WWE at some point, unless he just doesn’t want to go. The match was fun though and I’m glad they went the way they did.

Post match Johnny says hang on a second because he wants his wish right now. As a thank you to Aerostar, Johnny wishes Drago freed from the Reptile Tribe. Drago’s chains are removed and leaves with Aerostar but Taya is FURIOUS. She yells at Johnny for doing this for nothing and wasting the wish. Johnny says there was nothing Kobra could do for him because Taya makes his wishes come true.

Black pulls out a ring box and Johnny proposes (in a Macho Man voice because Johnny Mundo and wrestling are both awesome). The fans chant SI and Taya agrees, giving us an OH YEAH. Pomp and Circumstance plays (again: wrestling is awesome) and they kiss, followed by Johnny putting her on his shoulder in a familiar pose. My oh my a Lucha Underground wedding could be……I need a minute.

In the back, Ricky talks to his doll and wishes death on Johnny and Taya. Makes sense, in that Lucha Underground way.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a great time with this show as it still feels like a comic book come to life. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: this is an actual alternative to WWE rather than all of the independent companies that try to be an alternative while often copying a lot of what WWE does. Going this far over the top is a good way to go and I hope more people start watching, just to see some fun wrestling and more fun TV. Very entertaining show this week and the first time I’ve really felt the old vibe back again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

We have arrived right back where we started. There is something special about a WWE show in Madison Square Garden and there was really no other option for such a big milestone. You could argue that it’s a triple main event with Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle, but really this is going to be about HHH, Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, as it really should be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s Raw results and Smackdown results if you need a recap.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful. That’s one of those Wrestlemania traditions that always makes me smile.

It’s so strange seeing Wrestlemania in an arena instead of a stadium.

The opening video starts with Vince McMahon in the dark and turns into a talk of the history of Wrestlemania. That means old Wrestlemania clips and I’m always good with those. WWE does know how to do these historical videos and you know they’re going to do it well on such a big occasion. The wrestlers talk about the importance of the Garden and how big this one night really is. We go back to Vince with the narration talking about how it all begins again, and the camera pans over to Shane, holding Vince’s newborn first grandson. That’s a really, really cool idea.

The ramp is on the left but there’s a small video screen opposite the hard camera as a nice homage to the old days in the Garden.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Show is defending for the third time since winning the title in October. Before the match, Cena says he isn’t losing to a gorilla like Big Show and implies that Show has small genitals. They stare each other down and Cena starts sticking and moving in a smart strategy. Well smart enough until Show shoves him to the floor.

Back in and a powerslam gets two on Cena, who gets a very loud chant from the crowd. Another slam keeps the pace slow and Show easily pulls him up for a suplex. Cole is hitting every Show line he can get, including the size 22 5E boot, the typewriter head and the frying pan chop. I don’t even want to imagine how much Vince is in his ear on this show. Cena’s comeback is cut off by a superkick and the standing legdrop gets two.

Show slaps on a cobra clutch and of course Cena fights up after a few moments. A raised boot in the corner sets up an FU (that never stops being impressive) for two and Cena is STUNNED. He’s so stunned that he grabs the chain but the referee takes it away, allowing Cena to hit Show with the brass knuckles, setting up another FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The crowd pulled this one up a bit though it’s still not a very good match. Show wasn’t exactly going to do anything at this point and that was on full display here. That being said, Cena hitting the FU for the pin was all that mattered and they nailed the finish. What more can you ask?

Jonathan Coachman is walking through the back and runs into a few people, such as Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, before finding Eric Bischoff and Johnny Spade/Blaze/whatever else. Eric has a job for him tonight: go find the Undertaker because there have been reports of strange noises.

Evolution (minus HHH of course) is in the same stairwell where Randy Orton kicked Mick Foley down the stairs to start their issues last June. We see some clips that really set up tonight’s match, mostly including Orton and Evolution beating up Foley and later, the Rock. Orton says it all begins again here, right where it started. Nice stuff here, as you can tell they’re working hard for Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance

Booker and Van Dam are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Van Dam starts with Dupree and sends the French guy flying off a monkey flip. It’s off to Booker to beat up both Dupree and Conway so it’s Bubba coming in for some more successful forearms to the back. Say it with me: the fans want tables. For those fans who aren’t impressed enough by WRESTLEMANIA I guess.

Booker hits the side kick but Jindrak has the referee, allowing D-Von to make the save. Jindrak and Cade, thankfully in matching gear, take over with left hands to the face but Dupree tags himself in to steal a near fall. The double arm crank allows Conway to insult USA, which fires Booker up enough to hit a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house as everything breaks down. Jindrak breaks up a 3D to Booker, who hits the ax kick into the Five Star on Conway to retain.

Rating: D. For the last few weeks, I’ve said that I didn’t think this warranted being on Wrestlemania. I’d now like to change that to knowing that it shouldn’t have been on Wrestlemania. The match doesn’t even run eight minutes and Booker was in there for more than six of those. Just do the Dudleys vs. Booker/Van Dam, or any of the regular teams for that matter. I mean, the better move would have been to not do the match and let the show be a bit shorter but that’s never been WWE’s style.

Coach investigates the sounds and finds Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan (BIG pop for those two) in a small room, pulling their clothes back on. Heenan insists that it’s NOT that kind of thing because they were playing cards. Heenan: “He was dealing!” Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young pull them back in, despite their screaming protests. Heenan: “I haven’t been well! My doctor would never allow me to go!” Coach just walks away. To be fair, this is way above his talent grade.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They were best friends and made a bet over who could get together with Trish Stratus or Lita first. The girls found out about the bet and Trish snapped, only to have Jericho say he was falling for her. Jericho and Christian’s team suffered though and he attacked Jericho in the name of tough love. Christian even hit on Trish a bit as well, but then put her out of action with a Walls of Jericho. Now it’s time for Jericho to fight back in the first big showdown.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho wastes no time by punching him in the jaw and adding a clothesline for a bonus. A backdrop puts Christian on the floor and Jericho follows him out with a springboard dive. Back in and Christian backdrops him over the top and the big crash has Jericho in trouble for the first time. Back in and Christian cranks on the neck, followed by a chinlock for a change of pace.

A spinwheel kick gives Christian two but they ram heads to knock each other down. An exchange of rollups with an exchange of cheating get two each so Jericho goes with the bulldog. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian grabs a backbreaker for two of his own. Christian grabs a Texas Cloverleaf to work on Jericho’s recently injured knee, which the announcers don’t actually mention.

That’s one of the reasons I was looking forward to watching this show with the TV beforehand. The Cloverleaf makes more sense when you know Jericho is coming in with a recent injury, but the commentators don’t bother mentioning it here, making the Cloverleaf seem a bit random. Jericho slips out and sends Christian to the floor, followed by a butterfly superplex for a delayed two. I believe there was a botched attempt that has been edited out of the Network version.

They’re both down so here’s Trish, with Lawler saying she can make jogging a spectator sport. An implant DDT gives Christian two and he drags Trish inside. Jericho makes the save and checks on her but Trish accidentally elbows him in the face. Christian’s rollup gives him the surprise pin.

Rating: B. This whole story has always been one of my favorites so it’s cool to see the match be a good one. It’s certainly no classic but Christian winning was the right call and the story can move forward from here. Both guys have gotten something out of this story and Trish is advancing as well. Good match, easily the best thing on the card so far.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho as Christian runs back in. Trish tries to hold Jericho back and then slaps him in the face over and over, morphing into Evil Trish (works for me), allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier. Christian and Trish leave but stop to kiss on the stage. This worked for everyone, especially Trish who works far better in this role.

A serious Mick Foley is getting ready in the back but Rock pops in to hijack the interview. Rock is very fired up to be in the Garden and it’s time to have the cameraman see who all is here. We have Hurricane and Rosey (another case that isn’t as random when you’ve seen the recent TV), Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka and of course the people, with the camera going inside the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re going to take care of Evolution tonight, if ya smell what the Rock (Foley: “And Sock!”) is cooking. You can tell Rock is extra fired up here.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

The energy is really high here. I always forget how young Foley looks here, mainly because he’s only 38. He retired at 34 so it’s not like he’s some guy who is fifteen years past his prime. Rock N Sock clears the ring to start, wisely making sure to double team Batista. Rock and Flair start things off with Rock offering his own strut. They head to the floor with Flair poking him in the eye (pop for that), only to get backdropped down.

Foley is right there with the elbow off the apron so it’s off to Foley vs. Orton (another pop from the hot crowd). That sends Orton bailing to the floor, because going outside against Mick Foley is a great idea. Back in and Orton get tied in the Tree of Woe for a rather low (Or is it high?) right hand. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor though and drops him face first onto the barricade to take over. Flair comes in (Flair: “All right!”) for some of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard him throw but one strut too many allows Rock to get in a clothesline.

Just because he has to, Flair goes up (Lawler: “Oh no.”) and get slammed down. Batista comes in but quickly allows the hot tag to Foley. Some right hands in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes out with the big running clothesline to send Foley outside. Orton sends Foley hard (and loud) into the steps and it’s Flair coming in for more loud chops. These are even more impressive with Foley wearing a shirt so the sound is toned down a bit.

Orton rips at Foley’s face and hair as they’re doing a great job at building the energy up for the hot tag. Batista comes back in and walks into a swinging neckbreaker. A double clothesline to Batista and a forearm to Flair are enough for the tag to Rock and house is cleaned quickly. The numbers game cuts him off and Flair loads up his own People’s Elbow, with more strutting than should be legally allowed. It takes so long that Rock nips up and spinebusters Flair, setting up the real People’s Elbow, with a Rock strut because of course, for two.

Orton walks into the Rock Bottom for the same but Batista comes in for a Batista Bomb. That’s only good for a near fall in the same way Orton won at Survivor Series last year. The second hot tag brings in Foley to finally face off with Orton, meaning the double arm DDT connects in a hurry. It’s time for Mr. Socko but Orton grabs the RKO out of nowhere for the pin. Foley looks around to see what happened and Orton is shocked, both adding a great touch.

Rating: B+. This one has really grown on me over the years with all five guys playing their roles well. You knew Rock and Flair were going to ham it up out there and Batista is really starting to figure out the power monster role. Then you have Foley, who came off like the old serious version out there and looked like someone who could still beat anyone on the right night. Orton winning on a surprise RKO was the perfect ending with he and Foley reacting to it perfectly. Just a great performance from all five guys and an outstanding spectacle that paves the way for Orton vs. Foley.

Rock and Foley are upset by the loss but get the big ovation with Foley getting the bigger share.

Video on last night’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” is one of the only things in wrestling that makes me tear up a bit.

Here’s Gene Okerlund to present the class:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as he’s presented)

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his kids)

Harley Race (somehow looking younger than he did in WCW)

Pete Rose (booed heavily, though said to be incredibly gracious for the induction)

Don Muraco (in a Hawaiian shirt under his coat)

Greg Valentine (bigger reaction than you might think, and WHY DOES HE NEVER AGE???)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (biggest reaction so far)

Sgt. Slaughter (gets a loud USA chant and plays to the crowd as well)

Jesse Ventura (It wouldn’t have been Wrestlemania without him)

This was much more a tribute to the earlier days of Wrestlemania but it didn’t have the big time headliner. Race is the biggest name, but he’s not known for his WWE stuff.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

They’re all in evening gowns to start, which is totally what I think of when I think of Playboy. Sable wants to just wrestle without anything on but she just strips down to her her lingerie. Torrie and Stacy follow suit as Cole and Tazz are way too excited over this. Jackie won’t strip though and stands on the apron in her gown. So she’s the Ivory of the match.

The gown is ripped off in about five seconds and Sable kicks her in the ribs. Torrie does a high crossbody for the sake of….I’m sure you get the idea. Stacy comes in for a cartwheel (Tazz: “I LOVE CARTWHEELS!”) and the leg choke in the corner. We get the sunset flip spot for an ovation, followed by Jackie and Torrie rolling over the referee. Torrie rolls Jackie up (showing off the tag hanging off the underwear) for the pin, plus a spank and a pull of the underwear. It was short and did what it was there to do.

Video on fans coming from all over the world for Wrestlemania.

Eddie Guerrero is in the locker room with Chris Benoit and says he’s proud of Benoit no matter what. Benoit doesn’t like the word lose but Eddie says it’s a possibility with the people he’s in there against. Nobody really believes in him but Benoit shouts that he does, demanding that Eddie looks at him. Benoit wants to know why Eddie is saying this on Benoit’s night. Last month Eddie won his WWE Title and tonight Benoit wins his. That’s the fire that Eddie was trying to draw out of him because that’s the Benoit he believes in. Benoit is winning the title tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero is defending and we finally find out that it’s a gauntlet match with Chavo entering last. While they never specifically said so in the lead up, it was implied that this would be a ten way match with everyone in there at once. Everyone comes out and stands at ringside and thankfully both of Ultimo Dragon’s botches are edited on the Network (the one at the entrance is mostly covered by a wide shot but you can still make it out while him slipping on the middle rope is edited out completely). Rey Mysterio is the Flash this year to continue his great tradition.

Dragon and Shannon Moore start things off with Shannon shouldering him down for two. A belly to back suplex gets the same but Dragon avoids a flip dive. The Asai DDT (very similar to a Salida Del Sol) eliminates Moore and Jamie Noble is in third. Dragon kicks him down for a fast two but has to bail out of a moonsault. The Asai DDT is countered into a neckbreaker and Noble makes him tap with a guillotine choke.

There’s no bell like after the first fall but Funaki comes in with a high crossbody, which Noble rolls through for a pin in five seconds. Nunzio comes in and it’s never fun to see family fight. Some rollups give Nunzio two and a middle rope dropkick to the head gets the same. Nunzio is sent outside for a big flip dive from Noble and Nunzio gets counted out.

Billy Kidman is in next and hits a HUGE springboard shooting star to take out Noble and Nunzio, nearly killing himself in the process. Back in and Noble’s guillotine choke doesn’t work but he’s able to break up the shooting star. Noble loads up a superplex but gets revered into a super BK Bomb for the pin and the elimination. Rey Mysterio comes in next to pick up the pace, only to get caught up top. A super sunset bomb gets rid of Kidman and it’s Tajiri in next.

The Tarantula has Rey in fast trouble but he’s out in a hurry for the 619. Akio tries to grab Rey’s leg but takes Tajiri’s mist instead. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin and since Akio can’t go due to the mist, it’s Chavo vs. Mysterio for the title. Tajiri kicks Mysterio in the head before leaving and Chavo gets an easy two but Rey is right back up with a springboard hurricanrana. Rey dropkicks Chavo Sr. down and hits him with a big flip dive. A sunset flip has Chavo in trouble but Sr. grabs his son’s hands to give him the retaining pin.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked these things and it was the same case here: if these people can pin each other in a minute or so, why do regular matches take seven minutes? This was another way to get a bunch of people on the show, which is rarely a good sign for a lot of them. Chavo vs. Mysterio would have been fine and I’m not sure how many people care that Kidman and Funaki made the show.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was dominating the Royal Rumble but Lesnar ran in and caused him to be eliminated. The next month at No Way Out, Goldberg interfered in Lesnar’s Smackdown World Title defense against Eddie Guerrero, costing him the title. Lesnar begged for a match with Goldberg, which Vince McMahon granted, albeit with Steve Austin as referee. With Goldberg off TV, Lesnar and Austin have had a mini feud over Austin’s ATV. It doesn’t help that both Goldberg and Lesnar are gone after this show, which could make this, ahem, interesting.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Steve Austin is guest referee. We start with a loud YOU SOLD OUT chant, presumably at Lesnar (who is sporting a very weak goatee). There’s no contact in the first minute so the fans start singing the Goodbye Song. JR has to acknowledge the crowd and mentions Lesnar wanting to go to the NFL as we’re two minutes in with no contact. The fans start chanting for Austin so Goldberg looks at him instead.

They lock up at 2:46 as we hear about Goldberg being an MMA aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty seconds and goes nowhere so Lesnar laughs at him a bit. A second lockup lasts about as long as JR tries to pass this off as a great struggle. They break up again as the fans are now openly booing, saying THIS MATCH SUCKS. Lesnar puts in a headlock five minutes in and the exchange of shoulders goes nowhere.

A double shoulder means a double knockdown, because that’s what this match needed. Lesnar starts kicking away but gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster for the first big move of the match. The spear hits buckle though and they fight to the floor as the fans think Goldberg sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex, followed by a standing choke after that strenuous….oh I’d say minute and a half.

The fans chant for Hogan and it’s ANOTHER double knockdown until Lesnar covers for two. Goldberg fights up with some clotheslines and the spear for two, despite pulling Lesnar’s shoulder off the mat. An argument with Austin lets Lesnar grab an F5 for a near fall of his own. Lesnar goes shoulder first into the post and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to give Goldberg the pin.

Rating: F. Does this need an explanation? There’s a reason this is considered one of the worst Wrestlemania matches of all time and it’s embarrassing all around. These guys are capable of having a good match and they went out there and put in no effort, instead being satisfied with screwing over the fans who wanted to and perhaps paid to see this match. I can understand two people just not clicking, but I have little patience for them not trying. It didn’t even have the entertainment value of being that bad.

Post match Austin Stuns them both out of the company and neither Goldberg nor Lesnar was ever seen in WWE again.

Pyro goes off from the roof of the building. I’ve been outside for that after Wrestlemania in New Orleans and it will make you jump out of your skin.

Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about the theme of It All Begins Again. There wouldn’t be a Wrestlemania without the fans though and he’s here to thank all of us. The locker room, the WWE and the McMahon Family thanks the fans for making Wrestlemania and the WWE what it is today. This was a very nice little moment.

Next year: Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Rikishi and Scotty are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Shelton punches Bradshaw to start but gets taken down by a running shoulder for one. Doug comes in to take over on Shelton with Charlie making a save. It’s off to Scotty vs. Charlie as the fans are just gone after that match (granted this match isn’t helping things). Scotty tries to skin the cat but Charlie catches him, allowing Shelton to jump onto his back.

A bearhug slows things down even more until Doug tags himself in and kicks Scotty in the head. Danny pulls him away from the hot tag to Rikishi but, of course, the tag goes through a few seconds later. Rikishi DDTs Danny to no reaction and gives Charlie a Stink Face. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw Clotheslines Doug. That earns him a Samoan drop from Rikishi, who sits on Danny’s chest to retain.

Rating: D-. Nothing match again but at least this served the purpose of giving the fans a chance to get Goldberg vs. Lesnar out of their system. As was the case earlier though, there wasn’t much of a need for this match to be on the card. It would have been fine as a Kickoff Show match, but even at six minutes it felt long.

Post match, dancing ensues.

Edge is coming back after over a year away.

Here’s Jesse Ventura…..to interview Donald Trump in the front row. Trump praises the show and Vince and Jesse asks him about a donation to a Presidential run. And now we move on to ANYTHING else before this turns into….whatever it’s going to turn into.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria’s title vs. Molly’s hair so a fan has a creative sign featuring Molly with hair that goes up and down. Molly powers her into the corner to start but Victoria chases her to the floor. Back in and Molly gets two off a suplex before grabbing a reverse cravate. The fans are getting a bit more into this and at least have some interest compared to the previous one.

With nothing else to talk about, Lawler gets into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria comes back with a powerslam as the discussion moves on to underwear color. Molly catches Victoria on top and gets two off a sunset bomb, albeit landing on her knees first. As frustration sets in, Molly tries the Widow’s Peak, which is reversed into a backslide to retain Victoria’s title.

Rating: D+. They tried here and that’s about all you can ask for. They didn’t even have five minutes and it’s not like the feud had much of a build in the first place. I’ll give them points for being willing to go with a bigger stipulation for the sake of getting on Wrestlemania, which shows quite the level of dedication. Not terrible, but they were hamstrung by the time.

Post match Molly snaps and tries to cut Victoria’s hair but Victoria knocks her out and straps her into the chair. The unconscious Molly gets her hair cut but wakes up in the middle, freaking out as you might expect.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie won the Smackdown World Title in February and Angle wasn’t happy that a former drug addict was champion. He attacked Eddie FOR THE FUTURE OF AMERICA because the country needed someone who could be a role model as champion. Eddie has been attacked when he wasn’t able to fight back but tonight it’s a fair playing field. I’ve been digging the heck out of this feud watching it back and this is the match I’ve been wanting to see again more than anything else.

After the video, Molly is still getting her head shaved. She’s actually bald too, rather than just having it trimmed. Like I said earlier: that’s some dedication.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending. A lockup has Eddie driven into the corner to start as Tazz thinks Angle should take it to the mat. Angle headlocks him down but Eddie is out in a hurry with a headscissors. A longer headlock is broken the same way as the fans are in a dueling LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chant. Eddie’s headlock is broken up as well and it’s a standoff as they’re still in the feeling out period here.

Some shoulder blocks work better for Eddie as Angle bails out to the floor. Back in and Angle takes him down into a front facelock and this time Eddie can’t get out as quickly. After staying down for a bit, Eddie fights up and armdrags him into an armbar. Angle knees the ribs to break it up and puts on an abdominal stretch. The ribs are fine enough for some rolling verticals, but the third is reversed into Angle’s rolling German suplexes.

They go to the apron and Angle can’t hit the German suplex off the apron. Eddie kicks him to the floor and dive out after Angle but the ribs go straight into the barricade. Back in again and Eddie gets caught in a chinlock with a grapevine to stay on the ribs. A hot shot sends Eddie ribs first onto the ropes and it’s time for the belly to belly suplexes. Angle puts on a waistlock before another belly to belly gets two.

Since the regular ones not being enough, Angle puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex. Eddie breaks that up but misses the frog splash, making the ribs even worse. Angle is getting cocky so Eddie tells him to bring it on. Some right hands just make Eddie madder and he clotheslines Angle down. A belly to back suplex rocks Angle and Eddie reverses a German suplex attempt into a cradle for two.

That earns Eddie a hard clothesline but he reverses the Angle Slam into an armdrag. The third rolling suplex is reversed into the ankle lock this time so Eddie kicks him away. It’s still too early for the frog splash though as Angle runs the corner for a super belly to belly. The ankle lock goes on again but Eddie counters into a rollup. Another German suplex rocks Eddie again but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT.

The frog splash gets two and you can hear the fans being surprised. Angle gets the ankle lock for the third time so Eddie rolls him outside for another break. With Angle down, Eddie unlaces his boot and backs away as Angle gets back in. That means an ankle lock but Eddie’s boot comes off. Angle is confused and Eddie small packages him (with his feet in the ropes of course) to retain.

Rating: A. That’s a brilliant finish with Eddie keeping his cool long enough to catch Angle being too aggressive in going after the ankle. Angle thinks that he’s better than Eddie and is going to smell blood as soon as he thinks Eddie is in trouble. Eddie was ready for it and suckered the livid Angle in to retain. The rest of the match with a great back and forth chess match with Eddie staying in there until he could get around Angle’s physical advantages. There was some incredible storytelling here and it was one of the best matches either of them has ever had.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane. Back at Survivor Series, Kane literally buried Undertaker and then gave him a eulogy. Kane proclaimed Undertaker dead and gone, but you know that’s not going to be the case. The Undertaker’s gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane freaked out, setting us on a path to this match. We’ve been seeing signs of Undertaker’s powers, which range from creepy to stupid, but that’s standard Undertaker procedure.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane’s intro is cool as the New York City set is covered in flames as well. Then Paul Bearer returns with an OOOOOOOHHHHHHH YEEEEEESSSSSS and no one cares about Kane anymore. We’ve got the druids with the burning torches and the fog throughout the aisle. Undertaker’s new look: slightly longer hair, a new hat and a singlet top. Kane looks terrified and….well yeah the Undertaker’s entrance at Wrestlemania can be chilling.

They stare at each other for a bit with Kane trying to make himself believe that Undertaker is real. He reaches out to touch Undertaker and gets punched up against the ropes. The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane bailing to the floor but Undertaker is right back with an elbow to the throat. There’s the apron legdrop as I would expect a lot of signature stuff here. Back in and Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Kane backdrops him….hands first into the ropes. They misjudged the heck out of that one if that was supposed to be a backdrop to the floor.

It turns into a slugout on the mat until Kane gets in a side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two but Undertaker is right back with a big boot and legdrop. Old School (still not yet named as such) is countered into a chokeslam. Kane walks around though and there’s the sit up. Undertaker hits his own chokeslam (losing the grip on the way down) and the Tombstone makes Undertaker 12-0.

Rating: D. That’s all you could have expected here, save for maybe a shorter and more dominant win. No one was expecting this Kane to beat the returning Undertaker so this was all about a big return. Undertaker was back to his slow pace here, though it was still better than the last few months (if not years) of Biker Taker. It’s not a good match, but Undertaker at Wrestlemania is always worth at least a glance.

We recap HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels. HHH and Michaels went to a draw both at the last Raw of 2003 and in a Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. Shawn, never being able to let something go, said he needed to face HHH again, even though Benoit won the Royal Rumble. Michaels signed the Wrestlemania contract instead of Benoit (contracts still don’t work that way and Shawn vs. HHH is barely six years in the making, let alone the nearly ten Michaels said that it was) so Austin made it a triple threat match. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and wearing white boots for a really weird look. We don’t get Big Match Intros but we do have a weapons check. The fans are behind Benoit here, to the surprise of no one paying attention. Benoit goes after both of them to start but Shawn wants to beat on HHH. A way too early Crossface attempt doesn’t work on Shawn, who is sent into HHH to knock the champ outside. The second Crossface attempt is countered into a rollup for two but HHH is back in to clothesline Michaels.

Now it’s Benoit being sent outside so Shawn and HHH can have their big showdown. That doesn’t last long (you save the big stuff for later) as HHH goes outside to drive Benoit into the barricade. Shawn is right up with a moonsault onto the two of them for a big crash. Back in and HHH hits the facebuster on Shawn but Benoit breaks up the Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post, again leaving us with two instead of the three.

Benoit can’t get a belly to back superplex as HHH pulls him down into the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn into him for a near fall of his own. HHH gets sent into him as well for the same two but Benoit gets free for the rolling German suplexes. Michaels is right there to break up the Swan dive though, only to eat a DDT from HHH. With Shawn on the floor, HHH pulls Benoit off the top and hammers away.

That’s reversed into a Crossface with Shawn diving in for a save. Shawn tries his own rolling German suplexes on Benoit and I’ll let you guess how that goes. After Shawn bounces off the mat from Benoit’s third straight German suplex, the Swan Dive connects for two. Shawn forearms Benoit to the floor and nips up for the fight against HHH. The champ gets knocked down for the top rope elbow and Sweet Chin Music connects.

Benoit is right there to pull HHH to the floor of course and he sends Shawn into the post. The busted open Shawn (it wouldn’t feel right otherwise) gets caught in the Crossface so HHH grabs his hand to prevent the tap out. Benoit beats up HHH on the floor but gets sent into the steps. HHH loads up the announcers’ table and Shawn joins him to double suplex Benoit through the table. NOW we get the big Shawn vs. HHH showdown and it lasts all of fifteen seconds with Shawn whipping HHH over the corner and back outside.

Back in and HHH (also bleeding) hits a quick Pedigree but can’t cover. Benoit dives in for a last second save and all three are down. A Pedigree to Benoit is reversed into a Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring so it’s Shawn coming back in with more Sweet Chin Music. That’s only good for two so Shawn tries it again, only to be sent to the floor. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface and Benoit rolls him into the middle for the tap and the title.

Rating: A+. I never realized how much the Wrestlemania XXX match copied this one, down to the big double team through the table, the technical star who had worked forever to get here and winning with a very similar hold, plus other things I’m probably overlooking. Anyway, there isn’t much to say here as the match speaks for itself. It’s long in the right way, the near falls were great, the work and visuals were incredible and the right guy won. I’m sure you’ve seen this one at least once and if you haven’t, find the time to sit down and watch Benoit’s crowning achievement.

Benoit is in tears as Eddie comes out for the big celebration. Confetti falls (another Wrestlemania XXX scene) and JR has almost lost his voice shouting about how amazing this was. The ending is a spectacular visual and what should have been one of the most memorable moments ever.

A five minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B+. They were this close to being one of the all time great shows but as it is, they’re only a few steps behind. The positives here ranges from outstanding to very good but the bad is in either absolutely horrid to unnecessary stuff, which is where the biggest problem comes from: they stretched a three hour and forty five minute show to over four and a half hour one and that doesn’t work. If you trim things down a bit here and there, (a Kickoff Show would have been better, or just not putting everything on the card in the first place) this is one of the best shows ever.

The other thing that worked so well here was the feeling. Wrestlemania is a major show every year but this was a milestone edition and it felt like one. They had a great balance of the history, present and future in one night and the whole event came off as a spectacle. That’s the right kind of feeling and the great action all night helped too. This show feels special and it’s worth seeing at least once (if you somehow hadn’t) or again if you haven’t in a long time, though fast forward some of the lower card stuff to make things easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6