IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s a big show tonight with Crossroads. The name doesn’t really mean anything but it’s a stacked card with Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact as the main event. Last week’s show saw Sami Callihan crush Eddie Edwards’ face with a baseball bat so you can almost guarantee some fallout there. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

In the studio, Dutt and Matthews run down the card and talk about how important tonight is.

We recap LAX vs. the Cult of Lee, which boils down to “LAX needs challengers and the Cult of Lee is all we have”.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Cult of Lee

LAX is defending and jumps the Cult before the bell. They slug it out on the floor with Caleb Konley throwing Ortiz into the steps to take over. We finally settle down to Santana and Konley in the ring with a Lionsault/legdrop combination crushing Caleb as we take a break. Back with Santana hitting a running kick to the face to put Lee down. The hot tag brings in Ortiz for some running ax handles and a backdrop.

The champs start their double teaming, followed by the barrage of flip dives. Back in and some hard forearms into a superkick rock LAX, followed by a Samoan Driver for two on Santana. Ortiz hits a quick suplex into a Stunner but Lee breaks up the Street Sweeper. Konnan offers a quick distraction though and now the Street Sweeper puts Konley away at 13:00.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t interesting coming in but the action more than made up for it. The problem of course is where do the champs go from here, but odds are it’s going to be a long series of rematches with the Cult. Hopefully they’re like this though as it was a lot of fun and better than I ever would have expected.

Bobby Lashley doesn’t have a partner tonight but is ready to face OVE on his own tonight.

Classic clip: Monty Brown vs. Christian.

We recap Taiji Ishimori vs. Matt Sydal in a title for title match. Grand Champion Sydal has been following the advice of his spirit guide and won the title as a result. Now the guide has told him to go win the X-Division Title as well.

X-Division Title/Grand Championship: Taiji Ishimori vs. Matt Sydal

Title for title. I didn’t hear a bell ring but it’s a feeling out process to start with Sydal taking him up against the ropes and saying PEACE twice in a row. Ishimori spins out of a wristlock as the announcers make fun of internet reports. Sydal takes him up top but gets shoved down, followed by a jumping Codebreaker as we take a break.

Back with Ishimori holding a chinlock but getting slammed head first into the mat for the break. A half crab keeps Ishimori down and a reverse Muta Lock makes things even worse. Ishimori fights up and hits a running kick to the chest, followed by a Vader Bomb double stomp (I still don’t get how that doesn’t crack a rib) for two. A modified TKO (Sydal’s back was against the back of Ishimori’s head) gets two more but Sydal snaps off a middle rope hurricanrana to get things to even.

Sydal is sent outside and Ishimori gets a running start down the ramp for a hurricanrana. Back in and they exchange near falls until Sydal’s jumping knee t the face drops Ishimori. The shooting star misses and Ishimori’s Tombstone gutbuster puts him down. The 450 hits knees though and Sydal hits the shooting star for the pin at 16:25.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with both guys hitting each other with everything they had. The clean ending is kind of surprising but hopefully this leads to the end of the Grand Championship. This show just doesn’t need that many titles floating around, especially when the Grand Championship is just a standard midcard title anymore.

Allie is ready to win the Knockouts Title back because she’s grown as a Knockout. She’ll dedicate the win to Gail Kim. WELL OF COURSE SHE WILL!

We recap Allie vs. Laurel Van Ness. Laurel is all crazy and such but Allie is growing up and immune to her mind games.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Laurel is defending and Allie jumps her in the aisle to start. They head inside with Laurel hammering away and pounding Allie in the face on the mat. Laurel misses a dive off the top though and walks into a Codebreaker for a double knockdown. Allie suplexes her into the corner and takes Laurel outside where the champ is sat in a chair.

A running elbow drops Laurel but she grabs an Unprettier onto the floor to knock Allie silly. That’s only good for nine so Laurel stomps away back inside and a curb stomp sends Allie face first into the buckle. Laurel grabs the belt but walks into a Death Valley Driver. A superkick is enough to give Allie the title back at 8:40.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to really go anywhere but Allie getting the title back should have happened about a year ago. It’s nice to have her FINALLY get to do something positive instead of being a glorified joke. Good enough match here too, but it’s really just a way to get the title off of Laurel before she leaves the promotion.

Post break, Gail congratulates Allie. Good, now go away.

Austin Aries is sore from carrying the world on his back. Tonight, he’s ready to defeat Johnny Impact because he doesn’t take nights off.

We recap OVE vs. Lashley. OVE decided to go after a big prize like Lashley but Eddie Edwards came to Lashley’s aide. Then Sami Callihan crushed Eddie’s face with a baseball bat, making this a handicap match.

Lashley vs. OVE

Lashley clotheslines them down on the ramp and then suplexes both of them inside. Some kicks to the ribs take Lashley down though and we take an early break. Back with Lashley still in trouble but here’s Brian Cage to tag himself in and start cleaning house. Dave is sent to the floor so Sami comes in with the baseball bat. That earns him a spear though and Cage Drill Claws Jake for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: D. This was more of an angle than a match and really, that’s fine. It’s not like there was a ton of motivation from OVE in the first place so having them lost (in dominant fashion) to Cage was a good idea. Not a good match or anything, but it’s fun to see Cage destroy people as he’s exceptionally good at doing so.

Post match Cage won’t shake Lashley’s hand.

Johnny Impact has more names than Aries has titles but he doesn’t call himself the greatest man that ever lived. He’s not that insecure and only wants the Impact World Title. Tonight is his night.

Feast or Fired is back next week.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact

Johnny is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Aries rolling into the corner for a standoff. Aries jumps over him in the corner and snaps off an armdrag into an armbar. That’s broken up so Aries settles for a basement dropkick instead. Back from a break with Johnny hitting a jumping fall away slam and grabbing a cobra clutch with a body scissors. Johnny lets go but Aries breaks up a springboard by knocking the legs out.

Aries follows him to the floor with an ax handle and a middle rope elbow to the back gets two. The sliding German suplex gets Johnny out of trouble and a double springboard Flying Chuck gives him a near fall of his own. A leg lariat and the standing shooting star give Johnny two more but Aries is right back with the Last Chancery.

Johnny gets a foot on the ropes for the break and manages to catch Aries on top with a Spanish Fly. That’s not enough for the Countdown to Impact as Aries blasts him in the face and pulls Johnny to the apron. A Death Valley Driver on the apron knocks Johnny silly, followed by the brainbuster to retain the title at 18:11.

Rating: B+. These two know how to have a big match against each other and that’s what we got here. I could have used a story between them but that’s just not the way Impact does big time matches like this. Aries winning is another big deal for him and whenever he loses, the new champion is going to look like a big deal, which is very important for a reign like this.

Alberto El Patron comes out to applaud Aries to end the show. Well where would we be without Alberto getting a title shot?

Overall Rating: A-. Heck of a show here, as is usually the case with these specials. They don’t try to be anything more than a bunch of very good matches and that’s what we got here. The problem of course is going back to the storytelling episodes, which are rarely the strongest things in the world. Impact knows how to do something like this very well though and they did it again here.

Results

LAX b. Cult of Lee – Street Sweeper to Konley

Matt Sydal b. Taiji Ishimori – Shooting star press

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Superkick

Austin Aries b. Johnny Impact – Brainbuster

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: March 6, 2018
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We’ll set up the other half of the semifinals tonight and get the tournament down to four possible champions. The problem with that is where we go from here, but there’s always the chance of making things work better after Wrestlemania. If the matches this week are as good as last week, everything will be fine. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s show.

We open with the now traditional recap of last week’s matches, which is still a really good idea.

Opening sequence.

Drew Gulak says he doesn’t have a PowerPoint because he’s been too focused to open Microsoft Office. Dude get Libre Office.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Drew Gulak vs. Mark Andrews

Andrews’ music is still downright snappy. They’re a bit tentative to start until Gulak’s chop in the corner pops Andrews’ eyes open. Gulak takes him down by the wrist so Mark springboards up for the break. A basement dropkick gives Mark one as they speed things up in short bursts. Andrews’ Code Red is broken up and Gulak forearms him in the jaw.

Drew actually hits a gorilla press of all things before going back to the arm. A variety of armbars set up a keylock but Andrews fights up with an enziguri. They head outside with Mark hitting a moonsault off the announcers’ table as Mark starts putting something together. Back in and a slingshot Mysterio sitout bulldog keeps Drew in trouble. Again: technician vs. speed is a formula that’s always going to work and it’s just fine here. Gulak counters a kick to the chest with an electric chair for two and Andrews is cut off again.

Back up and Mark just unloads in the corner, followed by a hurricanrana out to the floor. Mark’s moonsault out to the floor drops Drew again and panic begins setting in. Gulak grabs him BY THE BEARD (dude too far) and clotheslines Mark out of the air with a hard shot. The Stundog Millionaire out of nowhere drops Gulak but the shooting star hits knees. The dragon sleeper makes Mark tap at 12:10.

Rating: B. Drew continues to look like a killer but this wasn’t quite as aggressive as last week. Andrews fighting from underneath the whole time was a good idea and he plays the underdog quite well. Gulak winning was the right call of course though and he could make for a great finalist, if not champion. I still miss the PowerPoints though.

Drew takes his time letting go of the hold.

Akira Tozawa and Hideo Itami come in to see Drake Maverick, who has put them into a tag match tonight. Drake thinks they could be a good team but Itami threatens to fire him if he’s wrong.

Mustafa Ali is in a parking lot to talk about Buddy Murphy. Buddy wants to call himself the best kept secret but a good man fights for himself instead of others. This had very low production values and I could go for more of something like this in the future.

Hideo Itami/Akira Tozawa vs. Nement Alexander/Scott James

Tozawa and Alexander start things off and Akira peppers him with forearms to the head. Alexander gets in a few shots to the head so Tozawa kicks him in the ribs. Itami comes in for some running shots in the corner before it’s off to James. A running kick to Scott’s face sets up the top rope clothesline as the squash is in full swing. Itami adds a running dropkick in the corner and Tozawa drops the top rope backsplash for the pin at 2:52.

Video of Roderick Strong training.

Cedric Alexander says one more match stands between himself and his Wrestlemania moment. This time will be different.

Last night, Murphy had to weigh in. They seem to include a bad take of Maverick’s statement, including him saying excuse me, counting down to the start of the next take and saying the line again. That’s a bad botch even by WWE’s standards. Murphy has lost even more weight.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy takes him into the corner and pops Ali in the chest for a mostly clean break. A hard shoulder takes Ali down again as Gulak is watching in the back. Buddy slaps on a headlock to slow things down a bit as the slow pace seems to work well for him. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Buddy down but he’s waiting when Ali charges at him, causing Ali to stop cold.

With Murphy being bigger and stronger, Ali goes simple by dropkicking him in the face. A HARD clothesline takes Ali down though as Murphy glares down at Ali. Buddy’s superplex is broken up and Ali hits a 450 onto the extended arm. Ali is another step ahead as he avoids a charge, sending the same arm into the post. The rolling X Factor gets two but a tornado DDT is countered with a toss over the top.

Murphy goes aerial with a running flip dive and the Sasha Banks top rope double knees for two more. Now it’s Ali coming back by sending the arm into the corner and snapping off a reverse hurricanrana. One heck of a tornado DDT plants Buddy and Ali blasts him with a hard forearm. Buddy tells him to bring it and then kicks Ali in the face. Murphy’s Law (the pumphandle Death Valley Driver) doesn’t work before of the arm and Ali grabs a cradle for the pin at 11:06.

Rating: B. I was digging the heck out of this with a great story of Murphy being bigger and stronger and winning with the raw power. Ali had to get creative and took away part of that advantage with the arm injury. Murphy is the bigger guy but he’s wrestling at a much lower weight than usual, making it harder for him to keep up with someone naturally smaller and more adept at the style. This was a great story being told and the action backed it up. Ali has grown on me by leaps and bounds in recent weeks and I want to see him go further in this tournament and 205 Live in general.

The final four:

Cedric Alexander

Roderick Strong

Drew Gulak

Mustafa Ali

Overall Rating: B+. Two good matches and a nice little squash. What more do you need from a show that doesn’t even last fifty minutes? This show is starting to act more like NXT every week and that’s a very, very good thing. They have an idea here and it’s working very well, which is all you can ask for. Very fun show here and I want to see where this tournament goes, which I never would have expected coming in.

Results

Drew Gulak b. Mark Andrews – Dragon sleeper

Hideo Itami/Akira Tozawa b. Nement Alexander/Scott James – Top rope backsplash to James

Mustafa Ali b. Buddy Murphy – Rollup

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: March 7, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana

We’re coming up on the 16^th Anniversary Show and that means it’s time to really hammer the card home. Or in this case, it’s time to have a bunch of other stuff before we actually get to the pay per view because of the weird schedule. The shows have been mostly solid as of late so hopefully the trend continues. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Briscoe Brothers vs. Best Friends

The Briscoes cost them a title shot a few weeks back to set this up. The violence continues here as the Best Friends are knocked off the apron to start with the beating starting fast. Back in and the Friends hit a string of running clotheslines in the corner but stop for a hug. You don’t give the Briscoes that kind of a break so the Friends are knocked outside as we take a break.

Back with Mark driving Barretta into the corner but getting caught in a tornado DDT. It’s off to Chuckie for a sitout powerbomb as everything breaks down. An Eat Defeat into a suplex rocks Mark, setting up the big flip dive from Barretta. Back in and the reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter gets a close two on Mark. Barretta’s backslide gets two more but it’s a Jay Driller into a Froggy Bow for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C+. I’m not big on the Best Friends but amazingly enough, they’re this much better without all the hugging nonsense. Instead it was a straightforward match where they came close to beating the Briscoes, only to come up short in the end as they should have. The Briscoes are going to win the titles without much effort and that’s how it needs to go.

Post match the Motor City Machine Guns come in and lay out the Briscoes in an attempt to make you believe this isn’t going to be the biggest layup of a title change in years.

We recap last week’s TV Title change.

Recap of the Women’s Title tournament so far.

Christopher Daniels vs. Adam Page

Hang on a second though as here’s Bully Ray to eject Scorpio Sky and Kazarian under the threat of a suspension. Page, acting on Ray’s orders, wastes no time in taking it to Daniels by knocking him into the corner and out to the floor. Daniels gets hung over the ropes (by the Hangman of course) but comes back with a shot to the face as we take a break.

Back with Page fighting out of a chinlock and winning the big exchange of forearms. Page powerbombs him down and sends Daniels outside for the shooting star shoulder. Daniels is right back with a rollup but neither can hit their finisher. Best Moonsault Ever misses and the Buckshot Lariat is enough to put Daniels away at 9:17.

Rating: C. I remember watching Page and thinking next to nothing of him. He wasn’t interesting, he wasn’t different and he wasn’t very good. Now though, he’s managed to turn himself into someone who not only puts on good matches but has also figured out how to be the aggressive enforcer of Bullet Club. That’s a role he can play and much more than I ever would have expected from him.

Post match Shane Taylor runs in and beats Page down with Daniels saying it was the best money he ever sent. Ray pops up and isn’t pleased with these events.

Punishment Martinez/Marty Scurll vs. Jay Lethal/Dalton Castle

Before the match, Martinez and Scurll say they’ll be the World Champion, Lethal is ready to take the title and Castle is happy with a bowl of delicious soup. Martinez and Castle start but Punishment wants Lethal. Jay, in full on Macho Man style gear, comes in and gets caught in a hard headlock. The early chokeslam doesn’t work and Jay’s chops just seem to annoy Martinez. Dude his name is Punishment. How smart do you think it is to chop him?

Scurll demands to come in and Castle wants a piece of that (his words). Some jockeying leads to an exchange of wristlocks with Marty actually getting the better of it. Jay comes back in for an elbow to the jaw and the good guys exchange Matrix style poses. Marty uses the distraction to kick Jay in the face though and we take a break. Back with Jay slipping out of a Psycho Driver and handing it off to Castle for the suplexes, including a German suplex for two on Scurll.

Lethal kicks Castle by mistake though (You knew that was coming) and Scurll grabs the Ghostbuster on Jay. The full chickenwing dance is broken up by Punishment tagging himself in. Now the Psycho Driver and a curb stomp connect for a near fall on Jay (that’s not a good sign for two big moves from Martinez).

Scurll tags himself back in this time and everything breaks down. Martinez turns Jay inside out with a clothesline but charges into a dead lift German suplex. The fans are way behind Castle but Punishment beats on the Boys. Lethal is back in with some kicks to Martinez, followed by some errant powder from Scurll. Castle takes Martinez to the floor and the Lethal Injection ends Scurll at 13:20.

Rating: C+. The ending being too overbooked didn’t do this any favors but the rest of the match was all it needed to be. They set up both matches on Friday as well as they could have and aside from a DQ or countout ending, Scurll probably has the least to lose here. Lethal continues to be awesome, but I think he comes up short on Friday.

Cody says there is no throne for the Kingdom.

Matt Taven is ready to make Cody kiss the ring.

The Briscoes can’t be held responsible for what they’ll do to the Machine Guns.

The Guns aren’t letting the Briscoes be around one more year.

So Cal Uncensored is ready for a street fight party.

The Bullet Club promises to win.

Scurll says Martinez is in for a spot of bother.

Martinez says Scurll is just his next victim.

Lethal is getting his title back.

Castle’s belly is full of excitement. We saw most of these promos last week but it’s nice to have them on the go home show too.

Overall Rating: C+. The main goal was accomplished: I care more about this Friday’s pay per view than I did coming in. If nothing else, I got a reminder of the matches on that show, which were getting a little hazy. It’s still not a good looking show, but the main event should be awesome and if there’s one more good match included, things should be fine.

Remember to check out my new forums at steelcagewrestling.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

I actually like it.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-205-live/

You can read all my columns here.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 6, 2003
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s show, the big story is HHH playing Harley Race to Goldberg’s Ric Flair by putting out a $100,000 bounty on anyone who can take Goldberg out. That opens a lot of doors for the company and WWE has decided to go through the Mark Henry door. To be fair though….actually there’s not much of a positive way to go with this. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH issuing the bounty. I know it’s an old story but it works perfectly well for what they needed it to be.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Rosey

Fallout from last week. Rosey wastes no time in knocking Kane down and hitting a splash for an early two. That’s about it for Rosey’s offense though as Kane pops back up and hits Rosey in the face. Choking in the corner keeps him in trouble and something like a spinebuster plants Rosey again. Rosey is right back up with a corner splash and a DDT but a legdrop wakes Kane up for some reason. A roll underneath a clothesline gives Rosey an opening but he walks right into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. Rosey was trying here but Kane has already fallen all the way down to fighting comedy acts. I mean, Shane isn’t going to be taken seriously a lot of the time but he’s a step above these two at the moment. Also, if you need teams as badly as this “division” does, I see very little value in building them up and then having Kane decimate both members in short order.

Post match Hurricane comes out but gets beaten down as well. Cue the returning Shane to come in through the crowd for some cheap shots before bailing.

Post break, Kane is looking for Shane in the production trucks. After scaring some production workers, it’s back to the parking lot where Shane is just standing there. Shane dives into a limo and Kane can’t get in so he blasts the back window with a pipe. For some reason he THROWS THE PIPE DOWN THROUGH THE SUN ROOF and goes in after it, only to have Shane slip out. With Kane in the back, Shane rigs up the limo to drive forward on its own, sending it crashing into a big truck for a massive crash. JR and King go into serious mode and we cut to an abrupt commercial.

Back with medics trying to get the very bloody Kane out of the limo. It’s so tragic (and spontaneous) that we have about five different camera angles of the crash. The jaws of life are brought in as Steve Austin shows up to see if Kane is alive. Austin: “Is he still alive?” Steve never was that subtle.

Gail Kim vs. Lita

Molly Holly sits in on commentary because you can switch from segment to segment that quickly. At least she sounds shaken up. The place just goes nuts for Lita again, which is becoming the norm in a hurry. Lita gets in some right hands in the corner and thankfully Lawler isn’t being his usual self in a women’s match. A suplex looks to set up a Vader Bomb (which is WAY off target) but Gail gets her knees up.

We hit the chinlock as Gail continues to show off that great offense. She tries a neck crank, which means putting one hand on top of Lita’s tilted head and resting the other on her shoulder. You can’t even grab her chin??? A dragon sleeper looks better and a basement dropkick drops Lita again. Gail points to her head because she’s smart enough to hit a dropkick you see. Lita gets in a Russian legsweep for a breather and a spinning belly to back suplex (the Lita Bomb according to JR) is good for two.

Back up and Gail jumps from the middle rope onto Lita’s back in what I think was supposed to be a bulldog but wound up being more like a Thesz press from behind. Not that it matters as Gail rolls too far and gets cradled for two, making that move such a mess that I had to watch it twice to see what happened. Thankfully Lita finishes with the DDT a few seconds later.

Rating: F+. What the heck was that? This was just a few steps ahead of last year’s Jackie Gayda match with Gail managing to mess up things as simple as a neck crank (grab head with both hands and tilt). It’s kind of amazing that they had such solid tag matches in the last few weeks but had this bad of a singles match. I knew Molly was good but I didn’t realize she and Trish were holding things together that well.

Eric Bischoff tries to get to Kane but firemen hold him back.

HHH has a bunch of $100 bills laid out in a path to the briefcase full of cash. The question of the day is who will take Goldberg out. That kind of money could change someone’s life and buy a lot of things. It might even buy someone into Evolution. It could be Goldberg’s best friend, so the question is who’s next, because everybody’s got a price. Goldberg has friends?

Shawn Michaels wants Mark Henry tonight but Austin says no.

Scott Steiner comes out for his match with a defeated Stacy Keibler at his side. All Steiner cares about are his freaks and his peaks but sometimes the freaks mess up. Steiner recaps the Unforgiven loss and wants an apology with Stacy on her knees. This brings out Bischoff who says he’s glad to see the Big Poppa Pump that he’s known for years. As a thank you, Bischoff has hand picked Steiner’s opponent. JR: “Maybe Steiner is going to get what he deserves!” JR, if you’re going to be stupid, just be quiet.

Scott Steiner vs. Spike Dudley

Post match Steiner gives him a super Angle Slam but the Dudleys run in for the save. Test comes out and pulls Steiner away from a 3D.

Goldberg beats up La Resistance for trying to collect the bounty. I love how their method was just beating him up instead of, you know, hitting him with a pipe or something.

Back at the limo, Bischoff asks a witness what he saw. THE WHOLE THING WAS SHOWN ON TV! Anyway Bischoff blames it on Austin, including if Kane dies tonight.

Here’s Chris Jericho, flanked by Coach, Lance Storm and Christian, for a chat. Jericho isn’t surprised by what happened to Kane because Austin is causing all of this. It was Austin who told Kane to unleash his inner monster and that’s messed up the entire show. We’re in Connecticut tonight and Jericho wants to appeal to the board of directors: Austin needs to be relieved of all of his power here on Raw.

Jericho even has testimonials from people whose careers have been ruined by Austin, starting with Coach. Everyone knows Coach and Al Snow won fair and square at Unforgiven but Austin wouldn’t have that. Instead Austin gave his boy JR a rematch so the teams changed again. Now Coach is backstage doing interviews again despite being the best looking option.

Next up is Christian, who retained the Intercontinental Title both at Unforgiven and then the next night on Raw. Then Austin called him a CLB and made him defend the title in a ladder match! We see some highlights from the match with Rob Van Dam winning the title and it’s all Austin’s fault.

That leaves us with Storm, who Jericho says has been deemed boring. Now he’s reduced to coming to the ring to watered down techno music and doing a bad dance. Storm says Jericho is completely wrong though, because Storm is having fun, meaning we get a little dance. He thinks Austin is doing a great job as GM while Jericho is doing a great job of being a jack***.

The beatdown is on but Austin comes out….and doesn’t change much as Jericho is smart enough to realize Austin can’t do anything. Van Dam comes out for the real save and Austin complains about not being able to fight. The tag match is made for right now. This was all it needed to be and I could go with Storm getting a bigger push as a result.

Lance Storm/Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

The villains take their time getting in so we’re joined in progress with Rob in trouble. That’s broken up with a kick to the chest and it’s off to Storm….as the fans go silent. An enziguri takes Jericho down but he’s up fast enough to break up the Maple Leaf. Everything breaks down and Rob dives onto Jericho for a double knockdown. Storm hits a better looking dive and throws Christian back inside, only to get beaten down.

Jericho knocks him off the top and drops Storm face first onto the exposed barricade. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Christian throws Lance into the corner for a good stomping. The Walls are reversed so Jericho settles for a dropkick instead. Storm knocks Jericho back though and rolls over for the tag to Van Dam as things speed up again.

The middle rope kick to the face and a hot shot have Jericho in trouble. A split legged moonsaut gives Rob two and Christian is dropped onto Jericho for the, ahem, suggestive landing. Rolling Thunder onto both gets two and Rob scores with the Five Star on the illegal Christian. Jericho is back in with the Lionsault for two and grabs the Walls but Storm tags himself in. A missile dropkick finishes Jericho to give Storm the big pin.

Rating: B. Take four talented guy, let them have some time, and get a good match. On top of that, Storm gets a rub by pinning Jericho clean. That’s the kind of thing they need to do: elevate some people and see what they can do. If Storm can get a following or some charisma, he could be quite a solid midcard player.

Another recap of the car crash.

Teddy Long says Mark Henry destroying Shawn Michaels last week will go down in wrestling history. Long needs to stick to thuggin n buggin because history isn’t his strong suit. Henry is going to claim the bounty and then win the World Heavyweight Title.

Randy Orton/Ric Flair vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Yes they’re still trying to make this team work. Orton works on Cade’s arm to start with JR saying these are two of the best young stars in WWE. An uppercut puts Cade down and a clothesline does the same to Jindrak. The announcers discuss books as Jindrak backdrops Flair to silence.

It’s back to Cade as this crowd is almost eerily silent. Flair takes over again as I’m wondering why WWE thinks Cade/Jindrak getting squashed is a good idea. Cade’s right hands don’t work and something like a bulldog to Orton is greeted by the same silence. Jindrak does the top rope spinning clothesline and a spinebuster/dropkick combination drops Flair. Not that it matters as Orton RKO’s Jindrak to give Flair the pin.

Rating: F. I don’t often notice the crowd reactions but EGADS this was bad. Not that the wrestling itself was the worst but there was no fire, no heat and no interest from anyone. Hopefully this ends the sticking of the toe into the Jindrak and Cade water because it’s completely not working.

During the break, Flair and Orton were celebrating when they ran into Maven and Trish Stratus. Maven doesn’t think much of the win and asks about a rematch with Cade and Jindrak (SOMEONE SHUT THAT MAN UP!). Flair tells Maven to shut up and a match is made for next week. Ric: “I’ve had more World Championships than you’ve had women.” I take it that’s a yes.

Steven Richards/Victoria vs. Maven/Trish Stratus

Fallout from Victoria joining forces with Molly and Victoria because there isn’t another worthy woman to team with Trish against Molly and Victoria here. Richards chops Maven in the corner but walks into an atomic drop. Maven’s good looking dropkick doesn’t get much of a reaction but a tag to Trish gets….well it’s not much but at least it’s something. The Thesz press (with Victoria sliding underneath Trish, who landed off to the side) has Victoria in trouble and a Matrish into a hurricanrana puts her down again.

Richards breaks up the Stratusphere though and Victoria hits a slingshot double legdrop to the chest. It’s off to a bearhug and Lawler is back to his normal self about the visuals. Trish shoves her away and brings in Maven for the clotheslines. Everything breaks down and Victoria gets kicked to the floor. A Chick Kick to Richards sets up Maven’s spinning faceplant for the pin.

Rating: D. Still not good but at least Maven and Trish had some good looking stuff. This was another bad tag match though and that’s not what this show needed in front of a dead crowd. The young guys are terrible right now and someone like Maven, who was supposed to be a bigger deal off of Tough Enough, isn’t doing anyone any favors.

Post match Victoria sends Trish into the steps.

Mark Henry vs. Goldberg

Non-title and Rodney Mack is sent to the back. Goldberg charges into the ring in a rare visual and Henry pounds him down to start. Some corner splashes crush Goldberg again and there’s a gorilla press drop. Three straight clotheslines don’t do much damage to Henry, who comes back with a Rock Bottom of all things for two. Another splash hurts Goldberg’s ribs and a shoulder breaker switches things up to the arm. Goldberg gets in an armbreaker to slow Henry down a bit but a Boss Man Slam cuts Goldberg down again. A slam looks to set up the spear but here’s Mack with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Somehow that’s the second best of the final three matches. This was Goldberg being destroyed for a few minutes and then not even getting to pin Henry. Let me repeat that: Goldberg, who won the World Title less than a month ago, isn’t getting to pin Mark Henry. I have no idea how this is supposed to make sense other than setting up another match later on, because GOLDBERG isn’t allowed to get a clean win here. If they wanted to further kill the crowd, they somehow managed to pull it off.

Post match Shawn runs in to superkick Mack, only to have Goldberg miss Henry and spear Shawn by mistake. Goldberg gives Henry the Jackhammer to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Somehow this show wound up being about Shane McMahon’s attempted murder of Kane and HHH, who wasn’t actually on the show. Other than that it was a bunch of terrible matches (save for that one rather good tag match), even more recaps/updates on Kane nearly dying and blaming Austin for everything. This show left me deflated, and that’s not a good sign when we have over a month before the next time these guys are on pay per view. Absolutely terrible here with the main focuses being Shane and Goldberg keeping the title warm for HHH. Figure out what the fans want, because this isn’t it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT
Date: March 7, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson

It’s tournament time! Just in case two tournaments going on at the same time wasn’t enough, tonight we start the third Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. This time, the winners will be challenging for the NXT Tag Team Titles at Takeover: New Orleans. Other than that we need to start building to the rest of that show so let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s review if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the tournament, accompanied by Dusty Rhodes’ iconic theme song.

Opening sequence.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Authors of Pain vs. TM61

Rematch of the 2016 finals where the Authors won the whole thing. Razar and Thorn start things off with the former throwing Shane into the corner and driving some shoulders into the ribs. The fans are behind TM61 and a flapjack doesn’t really slow down the cheering. Thorn gets driven into the corner and brings Miller in for a double Russian legsweep. The Authors bail to the floor for a bit so Thorn is right there with the big flip dive over the ropes. Now that’s a Dusty move if I’ve ever seen one.

Back in and Akum shrugs off the right hands to the face and drives Miller HARD into the corner. We take a break and come back with Razar continuing to pummel Miller with hard shots to the head. A cobra clutch keeps Miller down until a DDT gets him out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Thorn for a clothesline and dropkick to finally drop Razar.

One heck of a Falcon Arrow gets two but Razar kicks Thorn’s head off to take him down. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two but Miller and Thorn slip out of stereo Death Valley Drivers. Miller gets two off Blue Vengeance (moonsault) with Akum making the save. Akum powerbombs Thorn over the top and ONTO THE APRON for a sick landing. The Last Chapter ends Miller at 11:02.

Rating: B. These guys beat the heck out of each other and while I’m kind of surprised that TM61 is out so soon, I’m also glad that the Authors are moving forward. I don’t think they win again but the team that beats them is going to look like giant killers. This was a very nice power vs. speed match and they beat the heck out of each other, especially with that powerbomb.

William Regal is talking to the press about the Dusty Classic but has to leave. Pete Dunne comes in and says the UK Title is staying in the UK. Roderick Strong pops in to ask for a rematch. Before Dunne answers, the Undisputed Era comes in to laugh at Strong for losing. Dunne brings up Cole never winning anything, drawing Regal back over to ask if there’s a problem. Apparently not.

Sanity says chaos rules everything and in this year’s tournament, united they purge. Tonight, Killian Dain is ready to unleash chaos on Aleister Black.

Bianca Belair vs. Miss Drew Renee

Belair wastes no time in rolling some vertical suplexes and the Alley Oop is good for the pin at 1:21.

Lacey Evans wants to face Ember Moon next week but bails when Shayna Baszler comes in. Baszler knows Moon is a hypocrite for ignoring her for another week.

Heavy Machinery talks about being the good beef this year.

Here’s Tommaso Ciampa with no music to be booed out of the arena. Much like Roman Reigns the night after last year’s Wrestlemania, Ciampa is cut off every time he brings the microphone to his mouth. The WE WANT JOHNNY chants set Ciampa off and he throws the microphone down.

Ciampa slowly walks around the ring as the fans sing the Goodbye Song and then the DELETE chant. He takes a Gargano sign from a fan and rips it up (make sure to give the fan a gift so he doesn’t go home sad) before beating on the pieces with his crutch. Ciampa leaves without saying a word. Really good segment here, especially considering Ciampa looks like an actual psycho half the time.

Next week: Cole vs. Dunne for the UK Title and two more first round matches.

Aleister Black vs. Killian Dain

Dain charges straight into the corner for a shotgun dropkick and a near fall. Black is right back up with kicks and knees to send Dain outside, followed by a big dive to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Dain running Black over and getting a delayed two. Dain grabs a seated abdominal stretch and adds a pair of splashes for two.

A slam doesn’t work though as Black slips out and fires off the kicks to drop Dain. Black gets two off a standing Lionsault but gets clotheslined out of the air for two more. With Dain getting a bit too strong, Black goes simple by just kicking him in the head. That only earns Black a spinebuster and Vader Bomb for another near fall. Black gets two off a victory roll and catches Dain right in the face with Black Mass for the pin at 11:52.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t the biggest surprise ending in the world but at least Black took a beating before coming back with Black Mass for the win. If he hits that on Almas to win the title, or even for a near fall before winning the title later, it’s going to blow the roof off of New Orleans. Good match here though and Black gets one step closer to the title.

Overall Rating: B+. You can see things moving towards New Orleans now and that means a lot of good things, at least in theory. There’s going to be a lot of good stuff taking place on that show and it makes for a lot of fun television on the way to the big show. Two good matches and a nice squash makes for a very solid 45 minutes of wrestling.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Mixed Match Challenge
Date: March 6, 2018
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Beth Phoenix

It’s time to set up a semifinals match as this tournament is starting to hit the home stretch. This week will see Raw vs. Smackdown as Braun Strowman/Alexa Bliss take on the real life husband and wife of Jimmy Uso/Naomi. The winners get Miz/Asuka in what might be the real tournament finals. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here’s how to use the thing you’re using to watch this show. Bobby Roode, Charlotte, Rusev and Lana are all doing comments on the show.

Strowman says Glowish ends tonight.

Naomi promises to snatch Alexa bald and Jimmy isn’t afraid of Braun. Well at least Naomi says he isn’t.

Quarterfinals: Alexa Bliss/Braun Strowman vs. Naomi/Jimmy Uso

Naomi shoves Alexa before the match and Bliss tries to charge, only to have Strowman pick her up with one arm in one of those cute moments that only they can pull off. The guys start and Naomi looks scared when reality sets in. Strowman charges into a boot but runs Jimmy over like he’s not even there. With Jimmy nearly dead in short order, it’s off to the women for a fairer match.

Naomi takes her down but Jimmy distracts Braun to break up an early tag attempt. Instead it’s off to an armbar to keep Bliss down but she kicks Naomi away. Jimmy dives over to knock Strowman off the apron and a few superkicks stagger the monster. Twisted Bliss is countered with an enziguri but Braun catches her. He seems to like the idea (well duh) but sits Bliss on the apron instead. This time Bliss gets knocked onto Strowman and she seems a bit intrigued as well. Must be the beard.

Jimmy makes fun of Strowman for being knocked down so Strowman chases him down with way too much ease. Back in and Naomi kicks Bliss in the face but Jimmy doesn’t seem interested in making the tag. Believe it or not, there’s some actual psychology in this thing. Naomi hits her dancing kicks and drops a leg for two. Strowman has finally had enough and runs Jimmy over before powerslamming him through the table. Bliss takes advantage of the distraction and rolls Naomi up for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: C+. As fun as Bliss and Strowman are together (not to mention as adorable as they are together), I was having more fun with Jimmy being terrified of facing Strowman. It gave the match a story and that’s kind of hard to do on something like this. I can go for thinking in something this basic and it’s made the show that much better. Good little match here as Bliss and Strowman continue to look like the top team in the whole thing.

Roode says next week will be WOO Day.

Lana and Rusev are sick of the WOOing so Rusev sings the Lana Song.

Overall Rating: C. I’m only downgrading this slightly because of Rusev getting that infernal song stuck in my head. This was another fun episode and I’m actually starting to wonder who is going to win the whole thing. They have several options at this point and that makes for a fun tournament, especially down the stretch. Good show here, with only the song being stuck in my head holding it down.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 6, 2018
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the go home show for Fastlane and that means we can finally move towards Wrestlemania. However, we still have quite a big of stuff to get through first and that means a lot of work tonight. There’s a good chance John Cena will be in town but the rest of the matches need some attention too. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Charlotte and Ruby Riott are brought out for an opening chat. Ruby cuts Dasha Fuentes off and says this started on November 14, 2017 when Charlotte won the Smackdown Women’s Title. Charlotte is the perfect person to be the top star of the women’s division but then Ruby saw the myth fall apart. It was a week later that Ruby started the Riott Squad with the sole purpose of destroying Charlotte’s myth.

Charlotte talks about how just being good isn’t enough because she has to transcend everything. That’s what she’s done and now she’s become the best ever. Ruby says that’s all on the line Sunday and when Charlotte loses, she’ll be just another bleach blonde with a famous last name. The Squad gets in the ring but here’s Bobby Roode to scare them off and to do commentary on the next match. Good promo here, but it should have been for a Wrestlemania match instead of a Fastlane match.

Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal

Roode is on commentary. Mahal’s bio talks about his hometown and the languages he speaks. Even WWE wants you to forget he was World Champion. Orton elbows him in the face to start but it’s too early for the RKO. Instead Mahal bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Mahal hitting a jumping knee to the face and grabbing a chinlock.

Orton fights up and hits the powerslam but Mahal bails to the floor to avoid the hanging DDT. Randy drops the remaining Singh Brother onto the announcers’ table for old times’ sake before throwing Mahal into Roode. Back in and Orton loads up the RKO, only to have Roode get on the apron. Another knee sends Orton into Roode and the Khallas gives Jinder the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Egads I’m having flashbacks to last year. I’m sure this is going to set up a US Title shot for Mahal either on Sunday or down the line and it’s really not much better than the World Title push. Mahal continues to be the least interesting in-ring performer with a push that I’ve seen in a very long time. There’s just nothing there and it’s not getting any better.

Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are in the back with Kevin mentioning Sami offering to lay down for him. Sami sticks with what he said and says Owens is just a single win away from going to Wrestlemania. Owens hugs him and smiles.

Baron Corbin is ready to make John Cena’s Wrestlemania (and yes the sign pops up on the screen when he says it) dream a nightmare.

Video on the Usos vs. New Day feud.

Shinsuke Nakamura is ready to go to Wrestlemania when Rusev Day comes in. Rusev is upset that Nakamura has damaged Aiden English and challenges him to a match at Fastlane to make up for it. Nakamura accepts and promises that Sunday will be Nakamura Day. Rusev: “You can’t just make up your own holiday.” I’ll take what I can get.

Last week, Becky Lynch said she could make Carmella tap out.

Becky Lynch vs. Carmella

Carmella sends her into the corner to start and rubs Becky’s face into the mat. An upside down triangle choke keeps Becky in trouble and Carmella shouts about being Ms. Money in the Bank. Becky is sent into the barricade and a knee to the face gets two. A chinlock doesn’t last very long as Becky fights up and grabs the Bexploder. The Disarm-Her makes Carmella tap at 5:17.

Rating: C-. Your likely future Women’s Champion ladies and gentlemen. That’s how Money in the Bank works: lose all the time (or at least when you get on TV) and then win the title because HAHA CONTRACTS AND SUCH! Carmella is getting better but I’d really rather have her lose the cash-in. It’s just not there yet, especially when the big names are around on Smackdown.

Naomi is glad for Becky to win when Natalya comes in for one of those completely unnatural exchanges where no one talks like this. Another match is set for Sunday with Natalya/Carmella vs. Naomi/Becky.

Saudi Arabia Rumble announcement.

Fastlane rundown.

Here’s AJ Styles for a chat before his match. He’s the WWE Champion but on Sunday he doesn’t have to get pinned to lose his title. It’s no surprise that the odds are stacked against him again but he’s not going to say it’s not fair. Styles lost to John Cena last week so here’s a clip from last night with Cena saying the seventeenth title is coming on Sunday. Back in the arena, AJ says he doesn’t want a rematch at Wrestlemania and that’s not what the fans want either. AJ wants to face the best at Wrestlemania and that means Shinsuke Nakamura.

Cue Dolph Ziggler, who faces AJ tonight, to say AJ used to be cool. It took AJ ten years to get to the house that Ziggler built. Ziggler says AJ is losing on Sunday because he doesn’t have his head on straight. AJ is doing this for the people and they’ll stab him in the back. Over the years, Ziggler has faced one road block after another but he’s overcome all of them (oh come on) and eventually because World Heavyweight Champion. Somehow he’s never had a singles match at Wrestlemania so AJ can shove his Wrestlemania dream match. Ziggler is already a heel again. That’s some Big Show turning speed.

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Ziggler bails from a Clash attempt in the first five seconds and they start all over again. AJ actually wins an amateur exchange but gets caught with a dropkick to the face. The chinlock slows AJ down for a bit, only to have him come right back up with a dropkick of his own. A slingshot forearm to the floor drops Ziggler again and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control and backdropping AJ for two.

AJ’s basement forearm gets two but Ziggler is right back with a Fameasser for the same. They head to the apron with AJ being sent hard into the post as we take another break. Back again with Ziggler pulling AJ off the top but not being able to hit his own Styles Clash. Instead AJ tries a superkick but gets countered into a not great Zig Zag for another near fall. Cue Sami and Kevin for the no contest at 16:38.

Rating: B-. Ziggler’s promo issues aside, this wasn’t too bad, especially with the right ending. They need to keep Ziggler strong and having AJ lose twice in a row was unacceptable. If nothing else though, I’m not sure why Sami and Kevin wouldn’t want these two to beat each other up even more. Good match with time at least though and that helps.

Post match here’s Shane McMahon to make a match, but since it wouldn’t be fair to have a regular match, let’s make it a five way with everyone in the ring plus this man.

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin

Non-title again. So it’s the pay per view match we were set to have until a week ago. Joined in progress with Sami sending AJ into the barricade until Baron starts beating everyone up. Corbin gets sent outside and Owens backsplashes Ziggler for two while Sami stands by and watches.

Owens and Sami clear the ring and hug until Owens has to go kick Corbin in the face. AJ comes back in and drops Owens before enziguring Sami down to take us to a break. Back with Sami getting the worst of a Tower of Doom until Corbin gets up for the running clotheslines. Sami gives Ziggler the Blue Thunder Bomb for two with AJ making the save.

Kevin’s Cannonball crushes Ziggler and the Vader Bomb elbow gets two more on Dolph. A superkick drops Sami for two with AJ making the save, only to get punched out of the air by Corbin. Ziggler takes a chokebreaker and Owens charges into Deep Six for two with AJ making another save. The moonsault into the reverse DDT drops Zayn but AJ and Ziggler are sent outside. Sami hits a quick Helluva Kick to put Owens away at 15:03.

Rating: C+. There’s an episode of the Flintstones where Barney and Fred stumble onto a TV set. The director doesn’t have enough good guys to fight the bad guys. He says what difference does the story make as long as there’s a fight. That’s what this kind of match makes me think of: completely random action with maybe a tiny bit of storytelling thrown in. This might benefit Sami a bit but having a five way match to set up a six way seems rather questionable.

Post match Sami is asked why and says that’s a vague question. Sami says he’s the best WWE has to offer and is the most underlooked (Is that a word?) performer on the roster. Tonight was about proving that he’s the best and….we’re cut off in what seemed like mid-promo to end the show. I guess they underlooked the rest of it.

Overall Rating: C. The last half hour gave the show a push in the direction they wanted to go but that’s not exactly interesting stuff. All I want to do right now is get Fastlane out of the way so we can move on to Wrestlemania. This show worked as a go home show for Fastlane but Fastlane is much more of a nuisance than something I want to see. Get us on to Wrestlemania already as we’re going to have four weeks to set up the biggest show of the year. But at least get the March pay per view out of the way.

Results

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton – Khallas

Becky Lynch b. Carmella – Disarm-Her

AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn interfered

Sami Zayn b. AJ Styles, Baron Corbin, Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler – Helluva Kick to Owens

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcagewrestling.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2018
Location: BMO Harris Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

With five episodes to go before Wrestlemania, this show needs to start getting ready for Wrestlemania. At the moment, there is one match confirmed for the biggest show of the year and we’re 34 days out. I know there’s Fastlane to get through first but Raw doesn’t have another pay per view between now and New Orleans. Get something set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. Kurt is serious this week because he got sucker punched last week. HHH hit him right in the jaw and while Kurt has swallowed his pride before, he’s calling HHH out right now. The jacket comes off and here’s a swaggering Stephanie (the obvious response) instead. Stephanie asks about Angle’s five kids and ex-wife, meaning he likely has an alimony payment. She advises Kurt to stick with what he does for a living and here’s Ronda Rousey to interrupt.

Rousey talks about the people who brought her here not being what they said they were but she’s dealt with that before. Stephanie laughs this off and says people don’t often understand their bosses’ decisions. What Rousey needs to remember is that she signed a contract with WWE and that puts her under Stephanie. Ronda remembers something about that contract: she’s allowed to pick her opponent. That opponent would be Stephanie, so here’s HHH to keep his wife from a bad case of death.

Angle brings up that Stephanie also has a wrestler’s contract (Why?) so the match is on. She’s not the only one with a wrestler’s contract because HHH has one too. That’s why the mixed tag match is on for Wrestlemania. HHH leaves so Stephanie loads up the slap on Angle, only to have Rousey grab the arm. HHH comes back in for the save and the fight is on with Stephanie knocking Rousey down from behind. The stare sends her bailing as HHH is put in the ankle lock. Stephanie comes back for the save but gets pulled back into the ring for a not great Samoan drop from Rousey.

Asuka vs. Nia Jax

Asuka is thrown outside to start and we go split screen to hear Alexa Bliss say Nia is winning tonight. Back to full screen with Asuka being planted off a backbreaker. An Octopus hold slows Nia down but she throws Asuka into the corner without much effort. A reverse Eye of the Storm drops Asuka and we take a break.

Back with Asuka reeling but scoring with a Shining Wizard for two. The Samoan drop plants Asuka but she avoids the legdrop. Instead it’s off to the cross armbreaker which transitions into a triangle choke. Nia can’t powerbomb her way out, even when she drives Asuka into the corner. Asuka switches back into the armbreaker and Nia taps at 11:05.

Rating: C. WE GET IT ALREADY! My goodness this is the exact same thing that Nia has done in EVERY BIG MATCH and it’s not interesting anymore. I never bought that Asuka was in any real danger because there’s no way anything else was happening here. Nia is rapidly becoming the one who gets to look dominant but never wins anything, which is going to catch up to her very soon.

Nia gets the big hero’s reaction post match as she stands up and walks out, holding the damaged arm.

Revival vs. The Bar

Non-title but the Revival gets a title shot if they win. Dawson gets taken into the wrong corner to start and the Bar takes turns pounding him down. A double gordbuster (oh the Anderson vibes are strong with this one) puts Sheamus on the floor and we take a break. Back with Revival kicking Sheamus’ legs out as everything breaks down. A PowerPlex of all things gets two on Cesaro but Sheamus makes the save. Wilder is sent outside and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. We’re either getting War Machine (not happening) or the multi team ladder match. I’m not sure why we would want to see this, but that’s what we seem to be getting. There’s no one to challenge the Bar at the moment so unless they’re mixing the brands up, I have no idea which single team we could be getting.

Here’s John Cena to talk about getting a title match at Fastlane. He’s a free agent so he can be on both shows. So why is he here if he has a title match at a Smackdown pay per view? He’s here because he knows none of the other people in the match will let him have a chance to speak. This Sunday, the record is being broken when Cena wins his seventeenth World Title.

People always talk about how Cena holds people back and is handed everything, but he earned this chance when he beat AJ Styles 1-2-3. When he wins on Sunday, the critics will be there to say he’s robbed AJ of a Wrestlemania moment. Cena is encouraging AJ to make a better Wrestlemania moment and cash in his rematch to make it a triple threat with Cena, Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura.

This brings out, I kid you not, Goldust of all people, quoting the I’m a bum speech from On the Waterfront. Goldust has a dream of going to Wrestlemania too and that starts with preventing Cena from getting there. His dreams are always taken away and tonight, he’s taking over this silver screen as Cena’s new director. One right hand puts Cena down and we go to a break.

Goldust vs. John Cena

Joined in progress for a first time ever match actually. Goldust kicks him in the face and snaps off the powerslam to keep Cena in trouble. A knee drop allows Goldust to pose but he takes too long, allowing Cena to grab a standing chinlock. Goldust hits him low for two but Cena pops up, initiates the finishing sequence, and finishes with the AA at 3:47.

Rating: D. Uh, sure? I have no idea what the point of this was supposed to be but they went with it anyway. This was the most random match I’ve seen in a long time and I’m really not sure what they were going for. The match wasn’t terrible or anything but it really feels like they’re just making this up as they go instead of having any form of a plan.

Elias tries to get out of the Symphony of Destruction match with Braun Strowman tonight but Angle says no.

Hillbilly Jim Hall of Fame video. I couldn’t be happier.

Here’s Bayley for a chat before her match. She got serious last week and Sasha Banks wasn’t happy with it….so here’s Absolution to interrupt. Paige makes fun of Bayley for finally growing up and we’re ready to go.

Mandy Rose vs. Bayley

Rose takes her down to start and trash talking in the corner ensues. Bayley gets driven hard into the corner and a slam gets two. Back up and Mandy bails for a bit as we take a break. We come back with Bayley fighting up and kicking Mandy away from the ropes. The Stunner over the middle rope drops Mandy again but Sonya Deville gets on the apron. The distraction completely fails though as Bayley grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. This was there to set up something post match and that’s all well and good. I mean, it’s no Goldust vs. John Cena but I’ll take what I can get. Bayley overcoming the odds to win over a lower level opponent makes sense and continues the build to her match with Sasha at Wrestlemania. Good story advancement, not a great match.

Post match Absolution beats Bayley down until Sasha makes the save. Bayley doesn’t buy it.

Women’s History Month video on Eunice Kennedy Shriver, creator of the Special Olympics.

Alexa and Mickie James come in to see Nia, who is icing down the arm. Bliss talks about how Nia might not make it to Wrestlemania this year but she’ll be there one day. She goes on about how Nia was bullied for her size when she was a kid and it continues to this day. Nia breaks down in tears as Bliss tells her to keep fighting before everyone loses all respect for her. This was really good and Nia destroying Bliss for talking down to her should be great.

Ronda Rousey was inducted into the International Sports Hall of Fame over the weekend.

We look at the opening segment again.

Braun Strowman is ready to GIVE THESE HANDS to Elias.

Here’s Elias at a piano before the Symphony of Destruction match. Elias loves symphonies because they’re cultured, unlike this hick town. He goes over to the drums for a little number before picking up the guitar for the weekly song. After saying Milwaukee sucks, Elias, says he can’t stand a single one of the fans. Now it’s time for the regular entrance….and there’s no Elias. Instead he’s bailing through the crowd and into the back to a waiting car. The car doesn’t go anywhere though because Strowman is LIFTING IT OFF THE GROUND. Ok so it’s a good editing trick but still a cool visual.

Elias vs. Braun Strowman

Anything goes and falls count anywhere with musical instruments on the stage. Elias gets out of the powerslam and breaks a guitar over Strowman’s back to limited effect. A top rope elbow gets one and Strowman throws him to the floor. They head to the announcers’ table and Elias escapes another powerslam, only to get shoved into the video wall. The big string bass crushes Elias again and Strowman throws him underneath a piano. After banging on the keys a bit, Braun drops the piano on him and gets the pin at 5:04.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot more fun but what we got was good enough. I’m not sure where it leads though as this was as one sided as you could have gotten. I can’t imagine we get a Wrestlemania match as a result as there’s no point in having another match after this kind of destruction. That never stopped WWE though so you can probably pencil it in.

Elias does a stretcher job.

Announcement of the Saudi Arabia Royal Rumble next month. Put it on the Network perhaps?

Bray Wyatt vs. Rhyno

Bray runs him over with a clothesline and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 47 seconds.

Post match Bray calls out Matt Hardy, who appears on screen with music playing behind him. He talks about a battlefield that is worthy of their combat, meaning the Hardy Compound. The video goes to said compound, complete with Vanguard One and Skarsgard, the dilapidated boat. Laughter ensues.

It’s time for the third annual Mizzies, with Miz talking about how awesome his awards are. The Darkest Hour was when the Shape of Water won Best Picture over Marine 5. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri should be three billboards outside New Orleans, featuring his face. Out first award is for the Superstar Best at Patting Themselves on the back. The nominees:

Seth Rollins for bragging about lasting 65 minutes in a match he lost

Kurt Angle for FINALLY being a good father to Jason Jordan

Finn Balor for winning the Universal Title and holding it less than 24 hours

The winners: Rollins and Balor, neither of whom were invited tonight!

Next up: Worst Decision By a Raw General Manager! The nominees:

Kurt Angle for bringing his son to Raw

Kurt Angle for letting Balor and Rollins into the Elimination Chamber

Kurt Angle for failing to name Miz’s Wrestlemania opponent

Angle wins (no specific incident mentioned) but can’t accept because he’s too busy sucking up to Ronda Rousey. Miz is about to announce the lifetime achievement Mizzie but here’s Rollins to interrupt. Balor cuts him off pretty quickly but Miz says he isn’t sure which of them is a bigger disappointment. This isn’t Japan where Balor can get over on a smile and a hand gesture that isn’t his. Last week was a glorified handicap match so let’s have a real handicap match right now with Miz/Miztourage vs. the two of them. The match is on.

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Balor works on Curtis Axel’s arm to start and it’s off to Rollins for an ax handle to said arm. A shot from the apron allows Axel to take over, followed by Bo Dallas dropping a knee. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Rollins dives over for the tag to Balor. A Miz distraction breaks up 1916 and Dallas runs Balor over as we take a break.

Back with Rollins hitting the Falcon Arrow for two on Miz and the low superkick gets the same. Rollins nails a suicide dive on the Miztourage but Balor tags himself in, much to Seth’s annoyance. Finn hits a flip dive of his own but Rollins tags himself in as Finn loads up the Coup de Grace. Instead it’s the Curb Stomp to pin Miz at 11:02.

Rating: C-. I’m fine with this, though they would have been better off to have one of the Miztourage members taking the pin here instead of Miz himself. I know it’s there to set up the triple threat match and that’s all well and good, but do something other than having Miz lose AGAIN, when you have goons there to do it for him.

Post match Angle comes out and announces Miz defending against Rollins and Balor at Wrestlemania.

Fastlane rundown.

Here’s Paul Heyman to respond to Roman Reigns’ comments last week. Heyman lays the title down, saying he’s allowed to do it because Brock Lesnar allows him to. Roman came out here last week and criticized Lesnar’s schedule. The biggest win of Reigns’ career is defeating the Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania. Brock Lesnar did that too and Lesnar is Brock Lesnar 365 days a year.

After Wrestlemania, Brock may let Heyman come out here and lay the title down again. Then maybe he’ll lay the UFC Heavyweight Championship next to it. At Wrestlemania, Reigns is coming for the title but that’s just not happening. Heyman: “And Afa Wrestlemania, you can Sika new title to challenge for, because this one is going home with Brock Lesnar.” Heyman goes to leave but stops to hold up the title. Last week Reigns said Lesnar was a b****. The reality is the title is Lesnar’s b****.

Brock does what he wants with it and looks at it whenever he wants but Reigns has been looking at it. The title, which isn’t a belt or a strap but proof that Lesnar is the best in the universe, is going to have to be pried out of Lesnar’s hot, active fingers. Reigns wants to be champion because it’s his bloodline, but the title is what matters most to Lesnar. If Reigns wants to be the Universal Champion, he can’t go home if he finds out something happened to his father, because someone has to be there to defend and present this title the night after Wrestlemania.

Reigns isn’t the man to take the title from Lesnar and there’s no way around it. Now Reigns knows that he shouldn’t shoot from the hip with Heyman and he shouldn’t shoot in the ring with Lesnar. Heyman goes to leave again but now it’s Reigns coming out to interrupt. Reigns says this is proof that what he said is right: all he did is sent Heyman for his rebuttal. All the fans want is for their champion to show up and want to be here. Brock is going to be in Detroit next week so he better be dressed for a fight. Heyman gets out as fast as he can to end the show.

It’s a good promo from Heyman, albeit a little long. The problem though is all the cheering for Reigns comes to a crashing halt as soon as Brock shows up. If it doesn’t happen on Raw, it’s going to happen at Wrestlemania. It’s a story we’ve tried before and I have no idea why we’re stuck doing it all over again. At least it should be over soon though and the promos have been solid so far.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the strongest here but it did what it needed to do: setting up things for Wrestlemania. We came in with one match confirmed and left with three of them, which is a pretty good amount when you consider two of them are top matches. They can continue doing this for a few more weeks and that’s what matters most. Get some more matches set and the show will come together.

As for the stuff on this show….eh. I don’t get having Nia out there to lose to Asuka again and I really don’t get a few of the other matches. What in the world was the point of having Goldust losing to Cena out there? The wrestling was a mess but the storytelling worked, which brings the show up to a higher level. At least this felt like a Wrestlemania buildup show though, which is the first time that’s been the case.

Results

Asuka b. Nia Jax – Cross armbreaker

The Bar b. Revival – Neutralizer to Dawson

John Cena b. Goldust – Attitude Adjustment

Bayley b. Mandy Rose – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Strowman dropped a piano on Elias

Bray Wyatt b. Rhyno – Sister Abigail

Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Miz/Miztourage – Curb Stomp to Miz

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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