Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

We’re about a month away from the next pay per view (with the well thought out REDEMPTION moniker) and that means it’s time to start filling in the card. Last week saw the Feast or Fired briefcases opened up, meaning we could be having title matches soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Austin Aries arrived earlier today and ran into Josh Matthews and Matt Sydal. Aries applauds them for their title wins and Sydal can feel Aries’ energy in the X-Division Title. Option C is mentioned and Aries is willing to give Sydal a shot in a title for title match. As in the World Title against the Grand Championship. Josh freaks out but no one says no.

Petey Williams vs. Suicide vs. Rohit Raju vs. Taiji Ishimori

One fall to a finish. Suicide and Raju head outside so Ishimori spins Petey around by the wrist. All four are back in with Suicide atomic dropping Raju onto Petey’s back, followed by a running bulldog to take the two of them down. Ishimori 619s Suicide into a missile dropkick but Petey grabs a Sharpshooter.

Raju makes the save and dives onto Suicide and Petey as this is all over the place so far. Ishimori moonsaults onto all three and a series of rollups gets a series of near falls. Petey’s slingshot Codebreaker rocks Raju and Ishimori’s springboard senton drops Suicide. The Canadian Destroyer is broken up and Ishimori gets in the 450 for two. A second Destroyer attempt is enough to put Suicide away and give Petey the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C. The match was fun, albeit nothing that we haven’t seen before. What continues to drive me nuts though is Impact throwing Raju out there and saying he’s part of the Desi Hit Squad without explaining ANYTHING about them. I’ve only heard about the stable through news sites. I’m assuming there are videos and information about the group on Impact’s site but it’s not my job to go read outside resources to know what the heck is going on. Just give them a thirty second promo or let them show up for a match and everything is fine. But nah, just assume fans know what the heck you’re talking about.

Post match, Petey says he’s cashing in the briefcase at Redemption.

Eli Drake isn’t happy with having the Tag Team Title briefcase because he’s a one man show and should be World Champion. But never mind, because he has an idea.

The announcers have their weekly chat. Tonight: two matches from different promotions!

Eddie Edwards has gone to Dayton, Ohio to find OVE. Maybe he can leave his wife behind when a group of psychotic stalkers follow her to her hotel.

Su Yung vs. Amber Nova

Braxton Sutter introduces Su and looks very proud. Yung jumps her to start and the spinning Samoan Driver (Pain Switch) is good for the pin at 42 seconds.

Johnny Impact still wants to be World Champion when Jimmy Jacobs interrupts. Jimmy promises to burst Johnny’s bubble and makes Kongo Kong threats.

Taya Valkyrie is in the back but Rosemary walks atop some offices and throws a trashcan down, hitting her right in the face. The fight is on, in the overproduced way that Impact likes to shoot these things. Richard Justice tries to intervene but Rosemary dives onto everyone and Taya appears to be busted open.

From WrestlePro in Brooklyn.

KM vs. Fallah Bahh

Yes, this is seriously what we’re watching. Bahh knocks him away with the power of the belly and the rolling splash. A running clothesline drops Bahh and we’re clipped to another Bahh kickout as KM kicks away at the ribs. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Bahh fights up with a Samoan drop. A Banzai Drop misses and KM puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D. Sacre bleu, what a waste of their time. I know that they’re trying to stretch things out, but a guy as lame as KM getting a pin over a fairly popular act like Bahh is really the best that they can do? Good grief the classic clips are better than this. And it still looks like they’re in front of about 200 people in some nothing indy promotion. That’s not the presentation you want as even Ring of Honor looks better than this.

Video on Brian Cage vs. Bobby Lashley. Cage is the new monster on the block and Lashley didn’t like his help a few weeks ago. Tonight, a match.

Brian Cage vs. Bobby Lashley

They waste no time with the power lockup and neither can get much of anywhere. A hurricanrana sends Lashley down and a clothesline puts him on the floor as Cage gets the early advantage. Back in and Lashley gets two off a clothesline, followed by a neckbreaker for the same. Cage powers back up and sends him outside for a running flip dive. They both jump from the apron the floor but it’s Cage scoring with a series of kicks. Lashley slams him off the top though and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Cage fights up and hits a springboard tornado DDT of all things. Josh: “HE SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO DO THAT!” I can’t believe I’m saying this but Josh is absolutely right. Back up and Cage gets two off a floatover spinebuster but Lashley is right back with a running powerslam for two. Cage misses a discus lariat and gets speared to the floor for a delayed near fall. The second attempt at the discus lariat connects to give Cage the big upset at 11:03.

Rating: B. This was a lot of fun as Cage looks like the new beast on the block, which is exactly the point of this match. Cage pinning Lashley clean is a big deal for him and not something that happens very often. Lashley is on his way out so putting someone over clean like this is a great parting gift.

Gail Kim (WHY IS SHE STILL HERE??? She retired like five months ago and it seems like she’s barely ever missed a show) is doing her makeup when Allie comes in to ask for some advice. Gail tells her to go be the champion.

Classic Clip: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin in Ultimate X from Final Resolution 2005.

Eli Drake offers to trade his case with Moose for the sake of winning two belts instead of one. That’s not happening, but for some reason Moose does agree to a case for case match next week.

Eddie Edwards invades a show in Ohio and goes after OVE and Sami Callihan with a kendo stick. The numbers start to get the better of him but Eddie takes Callihan’s baseball bat and cleans house. Since beating guys up with a baseball bat doesn’t work very well, Eddie gets beaten down again and a spike Tombstone leaves him laying.

Sami promises to destroy Eddie.

Video on Aries vs. Sydal.

Impact Wrestling World Title/Grand Championship: Austin Aries vs. Matt Sydal

Title for title with both guys defending. Aries has all four belts with him and has to make sure he holds up the right one. They fight over wristlocks to start (must have been watching WWE) as Alberto El Patron is watching the match in the back and enjoying a steak (Leftovers from his restaurant?). Matt bails to the floor and Aries lays over the top, followed by a basement dropkick to take us to a break.

Back with Aries holding a stump puller and firing off some kicks to the back and chest. The middle rope elbow to the back gets two as Sonjay continues to shine on commentary. Sydal comes back with a spinwheel kick and starts in on the leg. That goes nowhere so Sydal fires off some kicks but a springboard is cut off. Aries’ neckbreaker across the rope is broken up and the brainbuster is blocked as well.

Something like an Eye of the Hurricane with a leg instead of the arm drops Aries. A bridging German suplex gives Sydal two and Aries has to kick Matthews away. Now the neckbreaker works just fine and here’s Petey to scare Josh off. That leaves things one on one and it’s a running corner dropkick into the brainbuster to give Aries the Grand Championship at 20:35.

Rating: B. Pretty standard “big time” Impact main event here and that’s all well and good. Aries collecting (and hopefully retiring) another belt is the right call and it’s not like Sydal takes a huge hit when the World Champion pins him. Odds are we’ll get a tag match out of this soon enough with El Patron and Sydal against Williams and Aries, which should be a nice way to go.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event was good and Lashley vs. Cage was a heck of a fight, making this a better show than usual. The Bahh vs. KM match, while stupid, was at least short and didn’t hurt things too much. Other than that, the show went by fast enough and set up some things for the future, including a few things for Redemption. Nice night overall.

Results

Petey Williams b. Suicide, Rohit Raju and Taiji Ishimori – Canadian Destroyer to Suicide

Su Yung b. Amber Nova – Pain Switch

KM b. Fallah Bahh – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Brian Cage b. Bobby Lashley – Discus lariat

Austin Aries b. Matt Sydal – Brainbuster

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Daniel Bryan isn’t the only big name returning.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-dont-forget/

You can check out all of my columns here.

NXT
Date: March 28, 2018
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

We’re almost to New Orleans and that means we’re getting closer to the official announcement of Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano. Earlier today, WWE posted a video of Gargano coming to Ciampa’s house at 3am, prompting Ciampa to say he would have to talk to William Regal about this. That’s a very encouraging line. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Earlier today Ciampa arrived but wouldn’t talk to reporters. He came up to Regal and asked what kind of place Regal is running here. Regal agrees that it’s on him so the solution is Gargano vs. Ciampa in an unsanctioned match at Takeover. If Johnny wins, he’s reinstated in NXT. Regal: “This time, you’re going to have to do it yourself.” This was a quick segment but it felt like a conversation these two might have. It didn’t feel scripted and it felt natural. Why does that NEVER happen on the main roster?

Opening sequence.

Here’s Regal in the arena for his big announcement. This is the place where we determine the best in the world so it’s time to announce a new championship. At Takeover: New Orleans, the first NXT North American Champion will be crowned. Regal talks about how this will be a counterpart to the United Kingdom Championship but here’s the debuting EC3 (called that with no Ethan Carter III ever mentioned).

Mauro asked him what EC3 stood for and apparently it’s the formula for success. The fans chant for him and EC3 says it should keep going because he deserves it. He brags about his theme song (which mentions his name several times and says that he’s in the top 1%) but thinks Regal has gone above and beyond to create a brand new championship for him. Fans: “NXTHREE! NXTHREE!”

That’s a step too far for Regal but EC3 will be competing for the title. It will be EC3 and five other competitors in a six man ladder match to crown the first champion. EC3 isn’t sure about that one but the fans thank Regal. That’s cool with EC3 because you can put the entire locker room against him and he’ll prove that he’s the top 1%. EC3 is already one of the most charismatic guys NXT has ever had so this was a very successful debut segment.

Charly Caruso updates the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic, which is down to the semifinals:

Authors of Pain

Street Profits

Roderick Strong/Pete Dunne

Sanity

TM61 is frustrated that they can’t win and keep having to go back to the drawing board. The interview is cut short as Shayna Baszler and Ember Moon are in a fight in the next room. Referees break it up as they’re trying everything they can to make it seem like Ember has a chance.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Semifinals: Street Profits vs. Authors of Pain

Ford yells at Razar to start and gets shoved in the face. Dawkins comes in instead and gets pummeled in the corner for his efforts. The Profits actually take the big guys down and Ford takes a sip from the cup before offering it to Paul Ellering. That’s a no as the cup is knocked out of Ford’s hands, allowing the Authors to jump him. The Last Chapter ends Dawkins at 2:34. This was nothing.

Charly talks about the other semifinal match tonight.

Regal announces Adam Cole as the second competitor when Velveteen Dream comes up. Dream: “You’re looking well.” Regal: “I know.” Dream wants in the match to give the fans an experience. Regal agrees so Dream is the third entrant.

Lars Sullivan vs. John Silver

Back to back tosses into the corner and a military press powerslam sets up a top rope headbutt. The Freak Accident ends the slaughter at 1:42. In this case, better to be Quick Silver than Long John.

Regal runs into Sullivan and offers him a spot in the ladder match. Sullivan says that sounds fantastic and he will bring the destruction unequivocally and categorically. He imagines a ladder in his hands to inflict more punishment. For next week though, he wants Killian Dain. Killian is in the ladder match as well but Regal makes the match too.

Dakota Kai comes out for a match but we cut to the parking lot where Andrade Cien Almas attacks Aleister Black, including shoving his face into a cooler. Almas drags him into the arena and throws him into the ring for a chair to the back. The title is held up as Almas shouts about being the champion.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Semifinals: Sanity vs. Roderick Strong/Pete Dunne

Strong and Wolfe start things off with an early slam putting Roderick down and drawing the partners in for a staredown. Young and Dunne go into the corner and it’s another staredown to annoy the referee. Wolfe takes over on Dunne and we take a break. Back with Dunne in more trouble and Young getting two.

This time it’s Young getting caught in the wrong corner and having his chest ripped off with chops. A middle rope knee gives Dunne two and we hit a hammerlock. It’s time to go after the arm with a double wristlock but Young powers him up with a suplex for the break. That’s enough for the tag to Wolfe and a Death Valley Driver gives him two. Everything breaks down and Dunne punches Wolfe out of the air but gets caught with a neckbreaker.

Young throws Strong off the top and drops the elbow for two of his own. Dunne and Wolfe are back in and Pete kicks Young down, setting up End of Heartache on Wolfe. It’s back to the legal Young, who gets caught in Strong’s belly to back faceplant into a Downward Spiral from Dunne (good idea, not the best execution) for the pin at 10:26.

Rating: B-. Good match here and a smart idea to give Dunne and Strong another win over an established team. I know it’s not a long tournament but it’s enough to make them look like a big deal in a hurry. The fans love both guys and a match between the two of them and the Authors could be fun. Nice match here, as Sanity continues to be a great pair of hands for something like this.

Regal announces the final competitor, who happens to be in his office. That would be…..Ricochet. In case the crowd wasn’t hyped up enough.

Overall Rating: A-. Sweet goodness NXT is great. In an hour they set up the grudge match of the year, introduced a new character, set up a six man ladder match for a new title, had a good match and sent the fans out with a big debut. I’ve said this many times but they come in with a plan and execute it to near perfection. This show breezed by and I’m WAY more excited for Takeover than I was. Great show, which happens quite often.

Results

Authors of Pain b. Street Profits – Last Chapter to Dawkins

Lars Sullivan b. John Silver – Freak Accident

Roderick Strong/Pete Dunne b. Sanity – Double faceplant to Young

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 27, 2003
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Evolution is back to full strength and Goldberg is down to one ankle after last week. Batista made his return from a long injury layoff to collect the bounty on Goldberg. That sets HHH up very well as we head towards Survivor Series, though we don’t have much set up for the show just yet. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the bounty being cashed in last week. Batista’s return went as well as it could have and makes him look like a killer in the process. This is set to what used to be Rey Mysterio’s WCW music, which must be public domain as it pops up every so often.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage above the ring. Lawler: “Why is the cage here?” Maybe because there’s a cage match scheduled?

Here’s Evolution minus HHH and of course the fans are very happy to see Ric Flair. We get right to the point (how nice for a change) with Flair saying Goldberg won’t be here tonight. The fans seem rather indifferent, or at worst happy with the news. Batista was the man who did that and says that Goldberg shouldn’t see that as a negative. Instead he should think of it as an honor because HHH was impressed enough to want him taken out.

Batista is that much better than Goldberg and it was him who had all those near misses over the last few weeks. Orton wants to know who the champion is now because Goldberg is DONE. In all fairness it should go back to HHH but here’s Eric Bischoff instead, carrying a bag. Bischoff rants about losing Goldberg, the man he depends on to defend the title around the world. Do you know what losing him does to Bischoff? It makes him the happiest man on the planet.

Goldberg speared Bischoff in this very ring so Eric is very pleased with these results. He pulls the title out of the bag and, since Goldberg can’t defend the title in thirty days, the new champion is…well hang on as here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin reaches into the bag and pulls out a middle finger for Bischoff. Goldberg isn’t going to be stripped of the title because he’s going to be defending it at Survivor Series against HHH.

Flair is livid, despite what should be the biggest layup in the world. Austin: “Settle down before you blow your pacemaker.” That’s the bottom line and Austin goes to leave but Batista says hang on a second. That kind of disrespect sounds like Austin is looking for physical provocation. A fight is teased but here are Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade (because WWE doesn’t learn lessons) to attack Orton and Flair.

Trish Stratus and Lita, in their underwear for obvious reasons, talk about Chris Jericho and Christian’s recent changes of heart. Lita is going to go see what she can find out.

Booker T. vs. Rico

Miss Jackie grabs Booker’s foot to start and Rico fires off the kicks to start. A chinlock goes nowhere as Jerry wants Rico to go back in the closet. The ax kick misses, Rico’s big kick misses and the ax kick finishes Rico in short order.

Post match here’s Jericho to yell at Booker for being on the wrong team at Survivor Series. He brings out the rest of Team Bischoff, now including Christian and Scott Steiner. Jericho wants the cage lowered and the big beatdown is on. Rob Van Dam comes in for the save and declares himself the newest member of Team Austin. That match is really starting to take shape.

Post break Jericho is yelling at Bischoff over Van Dam interfering. Jericho’s solution? Let him win the Intercontinental Title tonight. Bischoff agrees.

Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm

Teddy Long and Henry aren’t happy at losing the $100,000 last week and it’s time to get some payback. Henry throws him around for a few moments until Shawn Michaels runs in and superkicks Henry for the DQ. So much for Storm’s push.

Heidenreich is ready to team with Hurricane in his tag match. Hurricane mentions Little Johnny but he couldn’t be here tonight. Rosey comes up to take a picture of them and Hurricane mentions Johnny being Heidenreich’s son. Actually that’s not right and Heidenreich whispers the real story in Hurricane’s ear. The jaw drops and Rosey takes the picture, leaving Hurricane to say “and people say I’M weird for wearing a cape?”

Lita goes up to Christian in the back and wants to know what happened last week. Christian was reading her book and there’s a picture of the two of them holding hands. Apparently there was a bit of history but Lita acts like it’s nothing now. She leaves for her match, a bit flustered.

Shane McMahon has a match with a mystery opponent tonight and hopes it’s Kane.

Hurricane/Heidenreich vs. La Resistance

Conway jumps Hurricane as he tries to give his mask away but something like a backslide into the Eye of the Hurricane puts Conway down instead. Hurricane isn’t done and hits a big flip dive over the top to take Dupree down as well. Back in and Conway scores with a hanging swinging neckbreaker to really take over as Heidenreich tries to come in for the save.

We hit the USA chants (from the Army, Air Force and Marines members in the crowd) until a clothesline cuts Hurricane down for two more. It’s off to the chinlock as the announcers start with the FRANCE SUCKS jokes. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and it’s Heidenreich coming in to clean house. Conway eats a bicycle kick for two and a Rock Bottom is enough to put him away.

Rating: D+. Fairly boring here but good grief I’m sick of the RAH RAH RAH USA USA USA matches. I know Vince loves that kind of stuff but it’s getting a little hard to take. If nothing else, have someone better than La Resistance as the evil anti-Americans. They’ve lost most of their last few matches and it’s getting harder and harder to care.

Post match Heidenreich breaks up an attempt to wave the French flag.

Shane McMahon vs. ???

No DQ and the mystery opponent is…..Test? Well maybe not as he has a broken foot and is on crutches while wearing street clothes. He’s here to introduce the mystery opponent tonight and it’s….Test. Uh, ok then. Shane peppers him with left hands and stomps on the bad foot, sending Test to the floor to call for backup.

Shane goes up top and loads up a dive but Test pulls Stacy in front of him. With Test shouting for Kane (by name), Shane hammers away until Test sends him into the steps. But now, let’s wait for Test to shout for Kane again. A full nelson slam plants Shane but rather than covering, TEST SHOUTS FOR KANE.

It’s weapons time with Test in control until Stacy slows him down. The distraction lets Shane get in a few shots and load up the Van Terminator. Kane’s pyro goes off and Test gets in a crutch shot for two. The pumphandle slam is countered into a DDT onto the trashcan for two more and they’re both rocked. Shane chairs him into the corner and now the Van Terminator connects for the pin.

Rating: D. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: we spent months on Test vs. Steiner and the next step is Test getting to job to Shane on Raw? I still have no idea why this needs to be Shane when he could be any given wrestler. He’s better than Stephanie due to the more logical motivation and having better matches but still, this could be anyone else who needs the spotlight.

Post match Shane accuses Kane of being scared. He should be scared, but he should be showing his face. If Kane won’t come out, he’ll offer a demonstration. That means beating Test up even more and crushing his foot on the steps with a chair. This brings Kane to the stage but no further. Shane announces that Survivor Series will be an ambulance match, which is even dumber than what they’ve been doing so far.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

#1 contenders match. Lita knees Victoria in the corner and Trish gets two off a spinebuster. Molly, in jeans, a leather jacket and a low cut top (by her standards) is watching from the stage. That’s a rather nice look for her. Trish’s rollup gets two on Victoria and takes her down with a headscissors out of the corner.

Stevie Richards takes Trish down though and Lita gets double teamed. A powerbomb gets two on Gail and the Widow’s Peak gets the same on Lita. Victoria and Gail get in a fight with Kim being sent outside, leaving Lita to grab a DDT for the pin. Too short to rate, but it’s as rushed as you would imagine a four way that doesn’t even last three minutes to be.

Coach is getting his makeup done while reading Austin’s new book.

Video on Hawk.

Here’s Coach to review the book. He even has a podium with The Coach’s Book Review on a sign. Coach calls most of the statements in the book lies, focusing on Bischoff firing Austin from WCW. Cue Austin to offer Coach a free shot but Coach offers him the same thing. Austin has to decline but after his team wins at Survivor Series, he’d like Coach to do the post match interview because it’s the first face Austin wants to see.

Jindrak and Cade are ready to win so here’s Shawn to give them a pep talk. They go off for their match when Teddy comes in to yell about Shawn superkicking Henry. Teddy wants Henry vs. the “Heart Break Cracker” next week. Shawn says he could have cut off the rhetoric “you feel me playa?” Teddy: “Holla.” Teddy leaves so here’s Bischoff to have security escort Shawn from the arena.

JR and King thank the fans for their viewership as Raw was the highest rated cable show of the week.

Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade vs. Ric Flair/Randy Orton

Orton and Jindrak start things off but hang on a second as MAVEN, the definition of inspiration, is here to cancel out Batista. Make your own jokes, but that speaks for itself. Cade comes in and gets stomped down before it’s off to Flair (in red, meaning he’s likely losing) for an elbow to the jaw. Orton’s dropkick gets two but a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Jindrak.

Some very nice dropkicks have Evolution in trouble but Flair rolls Jindrak up. The referee is busy though so Maven comes in, runs at Flair with his arm extended, BARELY grazes Ric’s hair, and somehow turns the rollup over to give Jindrak the pin. I had to rewind the video a few times to see how Maven could have possibly missed that. Flair didn’t duck, so yes, Maven managed to miss a still target on a running clothesline.

Rating: D. The ending is absolutely the right call (though Maven needs target practice) as the young guys getting a pin is a good thing. However, they’re just so boring and uninteresting that their win is only going to get them so far. Give them a team name (or better names in general) or some matching gear or a gimmick of some sort. Just do SOMETHING because they’re putting me to sleep.

Evolution wrecks the boring guys post match. Batista looks very good dominating people here.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob is defending and wastes no time with a spinning crossbody out of the corner. Jericho blocks a charge with a raised boot and a jumping enziguri gets two. They’re not exactly wasting any time here. We hit the double arm crank on the champ but Rob is quickly out and avoiding a charge into the post to send Jericho’s shoulder into the steel. Back up and the Five Star misses so Jericho can sneak in a low blow. The Walls go on but here’s Bischoff to distract the referee. As you might expect, Van Dam’s rope grab isn’t seen and Jericho pulls him back to the middle of the ring for the tap.

Rating: C-. It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t last long at all. I know Van Dam was in the ropes but he’s tapping out in less than five minutes? That’s quite the stretch and while I can buy it, you know this is going to be setting up a rematch and that’s not the worst thing in the world. These two work well enough together that I’d like to see them go at it again.

Hang on a second as Austin comes out and makes the rematch RIGHT NOW….inside of that steel cage. Bischoff runs up the ramp to yell at Austin but trips into him by mistake, meaning the chase is on.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is defending inside a cage. Joined in progress with Rob in trouble thanks to the weakened back. A missed dropkick makes things even worse and Jericho drops an elbow for good measure. It’s off to the backbreaker with Jericho bending the back over his knee (thank goodness for mixing up the holds) as the back is banged up even worse.

Rob sends him into the cage a few times for his first offense but it’s too early to go over the top. Instead Jericho pulls him down and slams him off the top. This time it’s Jericho going up but Rob pulls him back down and they fall down to the mat in a double heap. Rob pulls him in again and superkicks him off the ropes before going over the top. Jericho goes for the door but Rob kicks it into his head and wins the title back.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I guess the idea here is to show the power struggle between Bischoff and Austin, just in case the last four months didn’t explain that in enough detail. The match was, again, too short to mean anything but at least they both get a second reign out of the thing. That Jericho reign is probably shorter than Dean Douglas’ though, so at least we got some history out of the thing.

Post match Christian and Steiner come in to destroy Van Dam. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd to even things up but Mark Henry comes in as well. Teddy locks the cage as the beating is on so here’s Booker T. to dive off the top of the cage. Henry shrugs it off and hits a bunch of World’s Strongest Slams to end the show. They certainly added to that match in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D. This is a give and take show. While there’s nothing good in the way of wrestling, there is a clear plan for where most (if not all) of these stories are going. You can see a lot of Survivor Series from here and that’s a major upgrade over the meandering stories that basically came down to “how can we make HHH look good”. While not a good show, it’s actually a positive sign for the future and that’s not something you get too often on Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

In a word, the show feels bigger this year. The Trump match is of course the real featured attraction but the two World Title matches aren’t bad either. We have John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Royal Rumble winner Undertaker challenging Batista for the Smackdown World Title in a pretty important match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Carlito/Ric Flair vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

Lumberjack match. Flair and Carlito had been a bit of an oddball mentor/mentee pairing. Helms (formerly Hurricane) and Chavo (Cruiserweight Champion, or Cruiserweight of the World according to ring announcer Lilian Garcia) are just a makeshift team. The lumberjacks really aren’t important enough to list off. The curtain is still down over the entrance, making for a very odd visual.

Flair and Helms get things going with Ric busting out some early chops. It’s off to Carlito as JBL (now a commentator due to a back injury) explains Flair taking Carlito under his wing to light a fire in him. Chavo is thrown to the floor but quickly gets tossed by in by Snitsky. Now it’s Helms knocking Carlito out to the floor for an easy return by the lumberjacks. Carlito gets double suplexed as JBL makes a thinly veiled fat joke about Aretha Franklin.

Helms slowly pounds Carlito down until a botched hurricanrana allows for the tag to Flair. The lumberjacks keep slapping the mat and it sounds like bubble wrap popping. Chops and backdrops abound but Helms saves Chavo from the Figure Four. Everything breaks down and Chavo misses the frog splash, allowing the tag to Carlito for a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo at 6:37.

Rating: C. Nice little tag match here and a refreshing change after the back to back battle royals. Flair is a treat for the fans and he doesn’t take anything away from the rest of the show. If nothing else it gives you a sense of how huge the crowd is as you can feel the energy of that many people in one place. Good choice for a dark match here and it worked just fine.

The opening video again focuses on the history of the show and Wrestlemania III in particular. There’s a good line about the show coming back to Detroit twenty years later with everyone all grown up, which was the tag line and theme of the show. It’s a simple idea but the campaign grew on me more and more every time I saw it.

We go back to Wrestlemania III for Vince’s introduction of Aretha Franklin, which is used to introduce her again for America the Beautiful, this time backed by a gospel choir.

The other opening video follows up on the theme of All Grown Up by showing kids dressed as various wrestlers and then showing them growing up. We also see some clips of people from early in their careers and then newer pictures of them through the years in a really cool concept. The voiceovers talk about people working their lives to get here to prove that they’re the best in a more standard Wrestlemania theme. Outstanding stuff here and they knocked it out of the park.

For the first time in a few years that sea of humanity is back. Sweet goodness that’s a lot of people.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge

Money in the Bank and the match has expanded to what would become the standard field. Booker won King of the Ring last year and started speaking with a British accent, I’m pretty sure you know who Punk is and Kennedy is a loudmouth who introduces himself twice (which was considered a great gimmick for some reason) and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA.

Orton and Kennedy go for the ladder to start as everyone else brawls outside. Finlay dives onto a big pile of people and Matt has to intercept Edge from climbing. That leaves Finlay and Orton to fight on top of the ladder but Kennedy makes the save. Booker goes for another ladder but finds out that it’s three feet tall. His reaction of disgust is good for a chuckle. Edge busts Punk open with a ladder and then bridges it between the apron and the barricade. There is no way that’s going to end well.

Booker beats up a bunch of people with spinebusters and a superkick until the Hardys crush him with a pair of ladders. Finlay saves Edge for reasons that aren’t clear and Matt gets shoved onto an overturned ladder. Kennedy puts Matt on a ladder and loads up the Kenton Bomb (swanton) but only hits ladder, landing square on the back of his head. That was sick. Jeff hits the swanton and it’s the brothers fighting on top of the ladder until Finlay shoves them down.

Edge comes back in and spears almost everyone until Punk leapfrogs him. Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around, only to have Edge take him down with a spear, knocking the ladder into Orton and Finlay in the process. It’s time for the big ladder (you knew that was coming) but Orton shoves Edge off and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge on the ladder bridged at ringside and Jeff goes climbing. A huge legdrop BREAKS THE LADDER and crushes Edge in the process, leaving both guys dead at ringside.

Edge is taken out on a stretcher as Orton hits a string of RKOs. It’s Punk’s turn to make the save (though Orton wasn’t even under the briefcase) and climb, only to take a super RKO off the ladder for the next big spot. Booker has to block another RKO off the ladder and settles for a Book End (nowhere near as high) to plant Orton. Sharmell pulls Matt down so Booker can climb but the threat of a Twist of Fate brings Booker back down. Nice heroics there Matt.

A bloody Finlay shoves Matt off the ladder and a Celtic Cross (White Noise) drops Matt onto it for good measure. Cue Hornswoggle (Finlay’s leprechaun, later revealed as his son) to climb instead of the injured Finlay but Anderson makes the save with a Regal Roll off the ladder for one of the more bizarre spots of the match. Finlay dispatches Kennedy and goes up but Punk dropkicks (and bends) the ladder. Kennedy is right back up with a save though, allowing him to climb up (after moving the ladder around so he can look at the hard camera) for the win at 24:10.

Rating: B-. It was fun but they’re firmly into the standard Money in the Bank formula of having most of the people lay around and disappear after a long stretch of the match is over. If you noticed, there was a LONG stretch near the end where people were just gone for like five minutes each after a single spot. That would become the standard, no matter how repetitive it would get. Again: less people is more in this and WWE never quite remembered that. Kennedy would lose his briefcase to Edge due to a bad triceps injury with Edge winning the title soon after.

Clip of the debut of the Condemned, Steve Austin’s movie. Various wrestlers and audience members (part of 4,500 people at the premiere) all LOVED IT of course.

Kennedy congratulates himself on the win and warns any World Champion that he’s coming for them. Thank God he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up. These videos will be on all night long with different people starting as kids and then becoming what they are today and narrating about what it means to them.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is a 7’7 monster who was brought in as the modern day Giant Gonzalez and was about as talented. Kane is one of the only people who can come close to matching his size but Khali shoves him down with ease to start. A throat snap across the top rope staggers Khali but the even bigger giant slams the smaller giant with ease. JR gets in the bowling shoe reference and it’s very accurate at this point. Kane’s comeback is shrugged away with a flick of the arm and the top rope clothesline doesn’t even put Khali down.

Instead another right hand ties Khali up in the ropes…..and it’s time for a big metal meathook. It’s a prop from Kane’s horror movie See No Evil but Khali knocks it out of his hand and rips open a turnbuckle with one hand. The referee has to go tend to that so Kane hits Khali with the hook, setting up a slam designed to recreate Hogan slamming Andre. It doesn’t quite work the same way (understatement of the year) but it was an impressive visual. Not that it matters though as the Tree Slam (a double chokeslam later called the Punjabi Plunge) is good enough to give Khali the pin at 5:32.

Rating: D. That slam was impressive but this was a squash otherwise. Khali as a monster was a good fit, but Undertaker had already destroyed him in the big gimmick match last year. Therefore he would wind up as the Smackdown World Champion over the summer due to yet another injury in the main event scene. Good idea here but it didn’t work due to Khali’s limitations.

Khali chokes him with the chain post match.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme (a street thug tag team who stole a lot of stuff and would probably get the company a bad reprimand today) talks to Eugene and tell him they’re going to hook him up. They head down the hall to find Extreme Expose (Kelly Kelly, Brooke Adams and Layla, three very good looking women who danced all the time) in matching outfits. The crowd greatly approves but Eugene is more intrigued by Moolah and Mae Young in similar outfits.

Reverend Slick comes in to join the party (now with a disco ball) but Dusty Rhodes takes over instead. This brings in Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart, IRS, Gerald Brisco and finally Ricky Steamboat in karate gear. Ron Simmons comes in for his one word catchphrase (a bad word beginning with D) to cap the whole thing off, as was his custom. Funny stuff here as usual and always entertaining.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending. MVP (Montel Vontaveous Porter) is a very arrogant athlete modeled on Deion Sanders from the 1990s. He gets a big entrance with his own cheerleaders, which really does fit his over the top, self obsessed character. They hit the mat to start with MVP cranking on the leg for a very early advantage. Benoit can’t get in a German and the threat of a Crossface sends Benoit out to the floor.

MVP counters the Sharpshooter but has to crawl backwards to escape another threat of a Crossface. Benoit’s shoulder is draped across the top rope to change momentum. Cole: “Smart move by MVP to go after the arm.” More like common sense Cole. Some German suplexes look to set up the Swan Dive but MVP takes him down with a superplex, only to have Benoit tie up the legs for two on the landing.

The bad arm goes into the post again and we hit the armbar. Benoit’s quick Crossface attempt is blocked by some shots to the arm as JBL goes on about how awesome MVP is, basically guaranteeing his loss. Some Germans give Benoit a reprieve and the Swan Dive gives him the pin to retain at 9:21.

Rating: C-. Not the worst here but they arm stuff was just stopped and Benoit hit another of his multiple finishers to win. MVP had a ton of charisma and a great energy to him but I never got the appeal of him after the bell rang. There’s a decent story here of MVP having the submissions countered but Benoit having the experience to beat him another way but it really didn’t work in the end. MVP would win the title the next month so I guess this was part one?

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room, annoyed that he and Miss USA have no food or beverages. Boogeyman comes in and Trump doesn’t even get off his phone. He asks for some food and just completely no sells everything from Boogeyman. That was hilarious for some reason, even though it makes Boogeyman look even worse than he is but that’s WAY past saving already.

Hall of Fame recap from last night. The speeches about Mr. Perfect were rough to sit through. Actor William Shatner inducted Jerry Lawler, even though Lawler specifically asked for longtime Memphis announcer Lance Russell to do it. WWE said no because Shatner had more star power. True, but how many people watched the ceremony because William Shatner was making a speech?

Attendance record announcement.

Time for the Hall of Fame presentation (why do the attendance in the middle?): Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect (represented by his father, which is always sad), Jerry Lawler (he had to go in with JR), Nick Bockwinkel (classy as always), Mr. Fuji (who looks about 90), the Wild Samoans, the Original Sheik (represented by his wife) and Dusty Rhodes. No one really got a bigger reaction than anyone else but the acoustics are weird in a place this big.

82% of fans think Undertaker is winning tonight. Dang maybe they’re smarter than they think.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and then picked Batista. They had a nothing tag match at No Way Out 2007 and Batista laid him out in retaliation for some attacks by Undertaker. This match really didn’t need a story but they tried to wedge one in there anyway. Thankfully they kept it simple and went with “come watch two big guys beat each other up with power moves.”

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Smackdown GM Teddy Long is announcing for some reason. Both guys are faces coming in so this could be interesting. Of course we have the druids and torches which never get old. Batista spears him down at the bell and the fans instantly boo. Right hands put Batista into the corner but Undertaker stops to glare at the referee, allowing Batista to come back with a big clothesline.

They slug it out on the floor with Undertaker’s knees going hard into the steps. Back in and Batista’s top rope shoulder block gets two and it’s time for a slugout. A big boot to Batista’s face just makes him clothesline Undertaker harder, this time for two. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and it’s Snake Eyes into another big boot, followed by a legdrop for two (brother).

Old School sets up a countered chokeslam so Undertaker runs him over. They’re just beating each other up here and it’s awesome to watch. The apron legdrop has Batista in even more trouble and there’s the Taker Dive for good measure. Batista comes right back by throwing Undertaker through the timekeeper’s area. Not into, but through. A bunch of big right hands have Undertaker in even more trouble but Batista wants tables.

Instead of setting up his own he takes over the Spanish announcers’ table (good Animal), loads Undertaker up for a powerslam, and runs down the two tables to drive Undertaker through the English table. When all else fails (and this is FAR from failing), slam through through furniture. Back in and the Batista Bomb is broken up so Batista belly to belly suplexes him down for two.

Now, say it with me: Batista pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride. Man he deserves that crash landing for being so stupid. Batista comes back with a spinebuster but walks into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is countered and another spear sets up the Batista Bomb for a VERY close two and a roar from the crowd. Back up and Batista tries a Tombstone (moron!) but Undertaker slips out and hits the real thing to win the title at 15:48.

Rating: A-. 15-0, two World Titles and a win over all four members of Evolution at Wrestlemania. That’s one heck of a career and he’s done it all at Wrestlemania. This was the first match in the feud of the year as the two of them would fight up through December with Batista finally getting the title back.

One of the important things about this match is they didn’t try to be anything else than what it was. The fans wanted to see two big, strong guys beating the tar out of each other for fifteen minutes and that’s exactly what they got. They were going at it as soon as the bell rang and it never stopped. That’s how you make a match work and a World Title match makes it even better.

More importantly than the title though, this is arguably the match where Undertaker started the second phase of his career where he went from featured attraction to having one of the best resurgences anyone has ever seen. A lot of that is due to this match’s spot on the card. The rumor goes that Undertaker and Batista were ticked off over being put on fourth and in the first major match slot so they decided to go out there and steal the show. The thing is, almost everyone says they wanted to do that but the impressive thing is to actually pull it off. Great stuff here and it’s going to take something special to beat this.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is admiring himself in the mirror when Stephanie wheels her daughter in. As you might expect, Vince steals the stroller and of course there’s a camera inside so we can look at Vince doing baby talk about fracturing Donald Trump’s skull.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Originals: Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu

New Breed: Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn

The names of the groups alone should explain the idea here. ECW was back but there was a faction that wanted to be the new ECW stars, setting up the first major story. Dreamer is an ECW icon who was considered the heart and soul of the original promotion, Sandman likes to drink a lot and Sabu is crazy. Burke is a loudmouth who leads the group (later known as the Pope D’Angelo Dinero in TNA), Cor Von is a big athletic freak better known as Monty Brown and Thorn is a vampire with a manager named Ariel. One fall to a finish here instead of the tables match they had a few months later.

Sabu and Striker get things going with the former teacher being draped over the top rope so Sandman can drop a leg across his back. Burke comes in to face Dreamer but Sandman stays in to help with a double elbow. It’s off to Cor Von for the power as he throws Dreamer around with a butterfly suplex, followed by the Elijah Express (running double knees to the back in the corner) for two.

Thorn plants him with a powerbomb and it’s back to Cor Von for a chinlock. Dreamer fights up and tries a reverse DDT but grabs a neckbreaker to Burke at the same time. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house, including a big monkey flip to Striker. Dreamer adds the DDT and the Five Star puts Striker away at 6:24.

Rating: D. I know I listed a bunch of moves there but there wasn’t anything else to talk about. There was nothing that made me think these teams hated each other or were even mad at each other, leaving this as just a basic eight man tag. I’m not the biggest ECW fan, but it’s pretty remarkable that they made it all the way to Wrestlemania, even if it’s years after the company folded.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up. A kid who looks like Austin slams milk together to drink it like Austin does beer. Were he and Kurt Angle switched at birth?

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando, somehow the first time the show took place in Florida.

Video on celebrities saying they want to see Trump get his head shaved. Only Rock wants Vince to get shaved.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires. To sum up the whole thing, Lashley and Umaga are behind the billionaires and Austin as guest referee in the graphic. The story here isn’t really necessary to set up but basically Trump showed up on Fan Appreciation Night and said Vince wasn’t very well liked. Trump came back the next month and set up the match with both guys picking a representatives. Austin is there as referee for more star power.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Losing billionaire gets their head shaved. Lashley (representing Trump) is ECW Champion and Umaga (Representing McMahon. Umaga is a Samoan monster and managed by Armando Alejandro Estrada) is Intercontinental Champion but this is non-title. To show you how big this is, the barber’s chair, barber’s pole and shaving equipment are put on a cart and taken down to the ring with its own music. Trump comes out with former Miss USA Tara Conner and real money rains down from the ceiling. All the entrances take over ten minutes.

They slug it out to start as this is power vs. power. Lashley takes over to start and drops Estrada with a right hand, followed by low bridging a charging Umaga to the floor. Back in and Lashley misses a charge of his own, setting up a splash from Umaga for two. Trump is WAY into this on the floor, which is all you would expect from him here.

Austin has to pull Umaga off Lashley in the corner and it’s time for the big sta2013 Redown. Umaga starts in on the chest to take away Lashley’s air. A Samoan drop plants Lashley again and Trump is looking very sweaty. Vince gets on the apron and is quickly knocked off, leaving Lashley to slam Umaga off the top. Neither guy can follow up though and Austin gets to a ten count but then says get up and fight because there’s no countout.

Cue Shane McMahon to check on his dad (it wasn’t that hard of a fall off the apron) as Austin pulls Umaga out of the corner. For some reason he goes by the eye, resulting in a Samoan Spike to the neck. Yeah Umaga’s finisher was a thumb to the neck. It never made sense to me either. Shane comes in to try and beat on Lashley but gets suplexed, only to have Umaga knock Lashley down in the corner.

That means it’s time for the Coast to Coast from Shane, driving a garbage can into Lashley’s face. We’re not done though as Shane pulls off his shirt to reveal referee attire (JR: “It’s insider trading!” Huh?). Umaga connects with a top rope splash but Austin pulls Shane out at two. That earns Austin another Samoan Spike so TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE for the big moment of the night. Umaga pushes his luck by trying a third Samoan Spike on Austin but gets a Stunner instead, setting up the spear from Lashley to get rid of Vince’s hair at 13:04.

Rating: C-. Oh come on. Do you really think the wrestling here matted in the slightest? There was no way Vince was winning here and Trump was always going to come out on top, which is pure Vince as he’ll take however many the team needs at the drop of a hat. The match itself was an acceptable power match and Trump did a good job with that clothesline. Well as good as it was going to be from Donald Trump. It’s an acceptable match and drew more money than anything ever had to that point so everybody wins.

Post match Austin Stuns Shane as Vince runs. Lashley chases him down (“TIME TO GET BALD!”) and feeds him to Austin for a Stunner, followed by the big shaving. Lashley and Trump do the honors while Austin holds Vince in place be he had to be involved somehow. This would lead to a long feud between Vince and Lashley with Vince becoming ECW Champion to kill the belt once and for all.

A song called Bald Headed Blues plays and my goodness Vince looks funny bald. Vince slumps away with shaving cream on his head (Lawler: “You ever notice how big Vince McMahon’s ears are?”) while the good guys all drink. Trump takes a Stunner for the real photo op of the show. The worst part: he took it better than most people and his hair is still perfect.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

Clips of the dark match to give them time to clean the ring.

Women’s Title: Ashley Massaro vs. Melina

Melina (MNM’s manager and a very talented wrestler) is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Ashley is the Playboy cover girl this year so that means she should get a title shot. The champ is wearing a HUGE fur coat and JBL thinks she looks ridiculous. It’s a catfight to start with Ashley hammering away and choking in the corner (totally not an excuse for upskirt shots). A giant swing makes Ashley dizzy but she knocks Melina down again, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Back up and Melina reverses an O’Connor roll into a rollup for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: F. Nothing but a cool down match and that’s not something that is going to be very good most of the time. Ashley was another name on a long list of women there for her looks and barely able to walk around a ring without screwing something up. Bad match but that was rarely in double. Pay no attention to the talent on the floor as a meaningless lumberjack while the model gets the match.

The good lumberjills clean house post match.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Cena is favored to retain the title 59% to 41%.

We recap Cena vs. Michaels. Shawn came in second in the 2007 Royal Rumble and then won a triple threat to earn the title match. Cena and Michaels then became partners, but Cena was reminded that Michaels would turn on every partner he had no matter what. They wound up winning the Raw Tag Team Titles and hold them coming into this match with Shawn still promising to turn on Cena soon.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Cena is defending. Shawn comes to the ring to DX music (he and HHH, who is injured again, reunited last year) instead of his classic theme. Shawn: “OH I LOVE MY JOB!” It’s Cena’s turn and we see a Ford Mustang speeding through the (empty) streets of Detroit and coming towards the arena. It comes inside and then drives into the arena through a wall of glass with John Cena driving as you might have guessed. Neither guy bothers bringing their Tag Team Title with them.

Shawn ducks a right hand to start and slaps Cena into the corner. Things stay fast as Shawn dodges a string of punches and knocks the champ down again. Shawn works on the arm for a bit until Cena just takes his head off with a clothesline to get his first offense going. The fans are WAY behind Shawn here as he hiptosses Cena to the floor. An enziguri puts Cena on the announcers’ table and Shawn tries an Asai moonsault, only to have the table not give way, leaving Shawn’s knees to crash against the wood.

Back in and Shawn punches Cena in the knee for a target and wraps it around the post. Cena has to hop around the ring on one leg so Shawn bends the bad one around the ropes and chop blocks the champ down. It works so well that Shawn wraps it around the ropes again but Cena punches his way out of trouble. When all else fails, hit the other guy in the face. Shawn misses a charge and goes head first into the post to draw some blood. Oh yeah now we should get going.

Cena hammers away at the cut like the vicious man he can become, setting up the Shuffle. The FU (the knee is fine already) is escaped and Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake. Another FU attempt is countered into a DDT and both guys are down. It’s Shawn up first and he starts feeling evil, meaning it’s time for a piledriver onto the steps (THUD). The back of Cena’s head is busted open and a second referee runs in to count two.

Shawn’s forearm and nipup set up the top rope elbow but the superkick is broken up by another huge clothesline. A slugout goes to Cena so he loads up the FU but has to kick out of a sunset flip counter. Shawn’s leapfrog is countered into the FU and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two (I’m fine with the extra kicking out of finishers if it’s not immediate and therefore doesn’t weaken the move) so the frustrated Cena loads up a middle rope FU.

Shawn would rather not be ended so he elbows out and tries a high cross body, only to have Cena catch him in the FU. Michaels flips out again and tries Sweet Chin Music but gets countered into an STF attempt. That doesn’t go on either as Shawn grabs a small package for two with Cena having to power out.

An enziguri misses and the STFU goes on but Shawn eventually makes the ropes. Back up and Sweet Chin Music connects out of nowhere but he can’t cover. Both guys are up at nine as they have to lean on each other to stand. More Sweet Chin Music misses and Cena grabs the leg to pull Shawn into the STFU for the submission at 28:22.

Rating: A. I don’t know if Shawn or Cena is more deserving of the praise but you can see how much Cena has grown in the last year. There was no way Cena could have had this match just a year ago and they were really testing each other out there. Cena still doesn’t have the selling thing down (the leg) but he knew how to make the drama work at a level he couldn’t even think of the previous year. Shawn deserves a lot of credit too as he can make a match work with anyone. Great stuff here and worthy of the main event, though they might have topped it with their 55 minute classic in London three weeks later.

Cena cries after the match and the highlights end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. The two World Title matches more than delivered and the money match brought in a fortune so it’s hard to call this anything less than good. There’s a great atmosphere as well and the show felt like one of the biggest of all time. It’s a major improvement over last year and a forgotten semi-classic. The focus being on the billionaires make people forget about the rest of the card but there’s a lot of other good stuff on here. It’s not a perfect show by any means but this was much more fun than I remembered. Check it out if you have the time.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: M (for Mickie James)

2015 Redo: F

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

This one is famous for one match and I’m leaving it at that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/01/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiii-shawn-is-better-than-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Really there isn’t much else to talk about here. The other major match on the show is Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon in a match over Vince not being willing to grow up and let go of some things in his past. The card just doesn’t feel big this year which was the case with most of the stuff this year. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Rob Conway, Lance Cade, Matt Striker, Trevor Murdoch, Tyson Tomko, Snitsky

Smackdown: Funaki, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Steven Richards, Johnny Nitro, William Regal, Road Warrior, Joey Mercury, Psicosis

They’re keeping it a lot smaller this year with just eighteen names. Cade and Murdoch are a southern team, Striker is a former teacher who would become an annoying announcer, Road Warrior is our old friend Animal, Mercury and Nitro are partners in MNM (Smackdown Tag Team Champions) and Super Crazy and Psicosis are part of a group called the Mexicools. Also Viscera is now a self professed love machine.

Simon tries to make a sales pitch to start and gets superkicked for an elimination. Conway poses while beating on Richards and gets dumped for his efforts. Funaki gets catapulted out and Cade quickly follows him. Richards is stupid enough to pose on the apron and gets knocked out with Striker getting eliminated a few seconds later. Murdoch eliminates Crazy as the ring is quickly clearing out. Psicosis puts out Goldust in a pretty big upset.

Snitsky throws Regal out and MNM plants Eugene with the Snapshot (elevated DDT) for an easy elimination. The final eight (Snitsky, Viscera, Murdoch and Tomko for Raw, Mercury, Nitro, Psicosis and Road Warrior for Smackdown) have the big staredown with Psicosis quickly eliminating Murdoch, only to be put out by Tomko. Viscera tortures MNM as Snitsky and Tomko forget their allegiance by starting a brawl that no one cares about.

MNM avoids a corner splash from Viscera and actually tries the Snapshot, resulting in a severely sore back. Viscera stacks them both up for a splash and the Visagra, which can only be described as rhythmic thrusting on the mat. MNM are thankfully eliminated and Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake. Road Warrior stares Viscera down and the fans chant for the LOD. A big splash crushes Road Warrior and the elimination is academic, leaving Viscera to avoid a running boot to eliminate Snitsky for the win at 9:04.

Rating: D-. This was a horrible battle royal with the speed of the eliminations and the winner really holding things back. I mean……VISCERA? The long space near the end with no eliminations felt long too and really made the match drag, despite it not even breaking ten minutes. While last year’s felt fun, this one really felt tacked on and that’s not a good thing.

Viscera kisses Lillian post match.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is set to I Dare You by Shinedown and gives us the required history of Wrestlemania package (very good this year) before shifting to the major matches this year. I like the song but this really isn’t making me want to see the show.

The set is much simpler this year as it looks like the side of a skyscraper and is shaped liked the Chicago skyline, which fits the theme of “Big Time”. The highlight though is a bunch of portraits of various wrestlers around the arena for a unique and cool look.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

Masters and Carlito are challenging as Big Show and Kane decided they were friends again and easily won the belts. Masters and Kane get things going with Kane using a very rare dropkick. It’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner but a rake to the eyes allows the tag off to Carlito, who looks terrified. The challengers are quickly deposited on top of each other outside, followed by a big clothesline from Kane. He’s feeling aerial tonight. The referee yells at Kane and in the meantime, Carlito and Masters get the turnbuckle pad off. That almost feels like a Wrestlemania tradition at this point.

Show goes face first into the steel and a double flapjack gets two. A double suplex goes as well as you would expect and it’s off to Kane to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Kane dives into the Master Lock (Chris’ full nelson), only to have Show break it up with a kick to the face. A Backstabber puts Show down and Kane sidesteps a Masters ax handle, sending him into Carlito instead. The chokeslam ends Carlito and retains the titles at 6:43.

Rating: D+. That’s their opener? They really didn’t have anything better than this? Kane and Show were pretty boring champions as almost no one could give them a real challenge, which is why they lost to a team of five male cheerleaders the following night on Raw. Masters and Carlito never got as far as they were supposed to in WWE, which is really a trend of the era.

Masters and Carlito argue post match.

Shawn Michaels is ready for his no holds barred match against Vince McMahon tonight. A few months ago, Shawn told Vince to grow up and forget about Montreal, prompting Vince to go to war against Shawn. That doesn’t mean he’s going to take back what he said because he still believes every word of it. Tonight isn’t going to be a five star classic because it’s going to get ugly. Shawn isn’t going to be his 1995 self or his 2006 self. Instead he’s going somewhere he’s never been before and Vince better be ready.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money in the Bank. Matt is serious again, Shelton is Intercontinental Champion again, Finlay is a tough Irish brawler and Lashley is an athletic freak and a powerhouse (originally described as Brock Lesnar times ten). To make it even better, all four commentators are on the match to make sure we never get a second of silence. Everyone goes after Lashley to start as the fans are all behind RVD.

Van Dam is there for them as he baseball slides a ladder into Matt’s face, followed by a plancha to land on the ladder on Hardy. Shelton won’t stand for being shown up though so he bridges the ladder against the ropes and flip dives out onto a pile of guys in a HUGE crash. Flair and Finlay are left in the ring for something that could be very interesting. Ric quickly dispatches him and goes up but Matt makes the save and SUPERPLEXES A FIFTY SEVEN YEAR OLD MAN OFF A LADDER!!!

Flair is taken to the back so we’re down to five for now which could make the match even better. Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder only hits ladder so Shelton and Lashley handle the climbing for now. Shelton tries a sunset bomb off the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay to help make it happen. Cole again tries to get the whole Smackdown vs. Raw nonsense in and it still doesn’t work.

With most of the people down, Matt decides to charge at Finlay and a ladder in the corner, resulting in one of them being launched at Matt’s face. I’ll let you figure out which was which. Finlay loads up a ladder but here’s Flair because Heaven forbid we don’t have him around for five minutes. Ric cleans house with chops and goes up, only to have Finlay hit him in the back with the shillelagh (Irish club), sending Flair crashing down to the mat on his back.

The briefcase is swinging though, allowing Shelton to make the save. Lashley uses more power though as he uses another ladder to knock over the standing one to drop everyone again. Rob is right there though, coming off the top with a chair, dropkicking it into Lashley’s back for another save. Now it’s Matt’s turn to do something stupid as he drops a legdrop off the ladder to crush Lashley. That’s not enough either though as Matt Side Effects Finlay off the ladder, followed by Rob dropping the Five Star (well more like a regular one so he didn’t kill himself) from the top of the ladder onto Finlay.

That was a REALLY bad stretch for logic. All of the big spots looked really cool but what sends did most of them make? One of the dangers of Money in the Bank or any ladder match for that matter is doing crazy spots for the sake of doing crazy spots. You could say that they’re doing them to keep other people down, but the logical move, and what they did last year, is just throw people outside and then climb. It made for a higher quality match last year and it would do so again here if they tried the same thing.

Rob goes up now and in the spot of the match, Shelton springboards from the top rope ONTO THE STANDING LADDER and hammers away at Van Dam. Matt climbs another ladder so Shelton steps over to fight him but it’s Rob shoving them both down and pulling down the briefcase at 12:22.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but a major step below last year with too much insanity going around but still more than enough insanity to make the whole thing work. Van Dam is a really good choice for the winner as he’s been one of the most popular guys in the company for a long time so it was time to give him a shot, especially with Batista on the shelf. Good match here but it’s now a spot fest instead of a logical, well thought out match. Both are entertaining, though for far different reasons.

Gene Okerlund is happy to have been inducted into the Hall of Fame (not so happy with his bar tab, because Okerlund likes to drink you see) but Randy Orton comes in to say that he’ll be in the Hall of Fame for actions, not holding a microphone for 35 years. After Gene leaves while rambling about Orton’s old man, Batista comes up and says the title is being kept warm for him. He’ll be back soon.

It’s Hall of Fame time with the Class of 2006 consisting of Gene Okerlund, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (Celebrity inductee in some rather ugly street clothes. He couldn’t bring a suit?), the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (accepted by Vickie to the loudest ovation of the group) and Bret Hart, who is still a few years away from appearing on WWE TV. Eddie would have been in one day and the reaction he gets here brings a smile to my face, even though I wasn’t a huge fan.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and there isn’t much of a story here other than JBL wants the title and they tried to break each other’s hands (with only Benoit succeeding). In a really cool entrance, the ramp raises up and JBL’s limo comes out from underneath it to deliver him to the ring. JBL even Texas Two Steps to the ring with image consultant Jillian Hall (a good looking blonde) accompanying him. This is quite the drop down the card for both guys, though it’s not quite King Kong Bundy levels of bad.

JBL runs him over to start but has to block the Crossface. Benoit fires off some chops in the corner but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Back up and Benoit chops him in the chest so JBL kicks him in the face. Chris still doesn’t let up and rolls some Germans, only to get crotched going for the Swan Dive. To make sure you know who the villain is here, JBL mocks Eddie’s signature dance (Benoit inducted Eddie into the Hall of Fame) before superplexing Benoit down for a delayed two.

Now it’s time for Three Amigos from JBL which is such an awesome piece of heel work. Jillian yells for some reason and we hit a chinlock on the champion. Benoit fights up and shows us the real way to do the Three Amigos (for those of you going to wrestling school by correspondence, though Benoit doesn’t have Eddie’s roll down just yet), followed by a big Swan Dive for two. Therefore it’s time for the Crossface but JBL rolls over and grabs the rope for the pin and the title at 9:44.

Rating: D+. Really good heel stuff from JBL aside, this felt like it was missing the middle. Instead of building to something, it felt like they ran out of time and just went straight to the finish. I do really like JBL’s heel actions but that doesn’t lead to being good between the bells. Benoit was his normal self here, which may be a step down from last year but it’s still good stuff.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge had cashed in the first Money in the Bank briefcase to steal Cena’s Raw World Title but he dropped it back to Cena three weeks later with Foley as guest referee. Therefore Edge wanted revenge at Wrestlemania, teasing Foley with the Wrestlemania moment performance. Foley accepted if they could make it hardcore, which Edge accepted by giving him a Conchairto (crushing Foley’s head between two chairs). This only woke up the hardcore legend inside Foley and the war was on.

Joey Styles, the voice of ECW, takes over for JR.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore. Lawler’s reaction to Lita’s (now with Edge) look: “Whoa.” The cargo pants, Edge vest and bra look does have merit. Edge has a baseball bat and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for some reason. The bat misses to start and Foley bulldogs him down, followed by putting him in the Tree of Woe for a running ax handle to the face. Lita throws in some weapons to crack Foley upside the head.

The spear connects but Edge rolls away in pain, because Foley had barbed wire wrapped around his waist. The gray flannel comes off and NOW we get the classic red. Edge gets tied up in the ropes and it’s time for Barbie, the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Edge is already bleeding from the arm but he’s able to hiptoss Foley into the steps for another sick crash. A baseball slide knocks Foley’s broken body back to the floor and of course it’s table time.

Foley rolls off the table before Edge can drop a top rope splash. That’s fine with Edge who slams Foley head first onto the steel ramp for two. That sound made me cringe….and so does Edge covering Foley in lighter fluid. It wakes Foley up though and he grabs a piledriver for two. Lita breaks up a Conchairto (well a Conchair-cookie sheeto) and Edge gets even more violent with a Barbie shot to the face, followed by just raking the wire over Mick’s forehead (ala Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000).

Edge is getting frustrated so he turns over more steps to reveal a bag of thumbtacks. Foley escapes and throws Edge into the tacks instead, sending Edge into shock. A barbed wire Socko appears (ok that’s awesome) and Edge is bleeding from the mouth. Shots to the ribs and head make it even worse and my goodness Edge is gushing.

In perhaps the scariest part of the match, Foley gets the lighter fluid. There is no way this can end well. The table is covered in it but Lita hits Foley in the knee with Barbie…..and lights the table on fire. Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the fire, sending both men into shock. With Foley rolling around, Edge gets an arm over his chest for the pin at 14:37.

Rating: A. This is the kind of violence that they needed to have and the last shots with both guys in shock and rolling around in agony from the fire more than sold the whole thing. Foley is the perfect choice to bring in for something like this as this is the match that really made Edge. Yeah he was a big deal already, but this showed his mean streak for a change, which is one of the big steps up to the main event. This is the only match people remember from this show and it holds up very, very well.

Booker T. is trying to calm down his wife Sharmell over their handicap match against the Boogeyman (exactly what he sounds like). Sharmell thinks Booker attracts freaks but Booker says no and they walk down the hall. I think you know what’s coming. First up they run into Paul Burchill, who is embracing his family’s history as a pirate. After he calls them mateys, they find Ted DiBiase offering to pay Eugene money if he can bounce a basketball 100 times, only to kick the ball away at 99 (an old trick of his, once tried on Rob Van Dam himself when he was a kid).

Snitsky is kissing Mae Young’s feet (again, a thing of his), followed by Goldust dressed as Oprah Winfrey. Goldust gives him a pep talk, telling him to embrace his inner freak to defeat the Boogeyman. The real advice is to take the worms from Boogeyman’s mouth (Yeah he eats worms. Like, real live worms). Goldust whispers something in Booker’s ears and freaks him out even worse, sending Booker off for his match. These cameos would become a tradition.

Some fans won a contest to come to Wrestlemania, plus free Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker and Sharmell are terrified and we might be in for a comedy match here. This match has been a long time in the making as Booker keeps faking injuries so he can avoid fighting Boogeyman but it finally happens here. Sharmell has to start, only to have Booker get in a cheap shot and tag in a few seconds later.

There’s a bunch of fog in the ring from Boogeyman’s entrance as Booker superkicks him down. The Book End gets two and Boogeyman reaches into his pocket to pull out a bunch of worms. As you do. He eats the worms and kisses them into Sharmell’s mouth, sending her running in terror. A chokebomb puts Booker away at 3:54.

Rating: F. Booker is a former World Champion and would win his first World Title in WWE about four months after this. For some reason, he’s losing in a gross comedy match to a guy named the Boogeyman. Like I said: this was a very strange time for the company and this is a very good example of why. Also, was there any reason that this wasn’t one on one?

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus (good again and in the same reign with the Women’s Title from last year). Mickie debuted a few months ago as an obsessed fan who had a big crush on Trish. That was too much for Trish who told her to calm down, earning her a kick to the head and shouts of “DO YOU LOVE ME NOW” from Mickie. It got even worse as Mickie kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish during the save attempt, ending with a kiss to the unconscious Trish.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. Lawler thinks Mickie is crazy but JR says Lawler would date her anyway, even if she’s a bit old for Jerry (JR: “She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?”). Mickie slaps her in the back of the head to start so Trish elbows her right in the jaw. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) has Mickie in more trouble and Trish throws her down, only to have Mickie land in the splits. Trish kicks the post by mistake and Mickie wraps it around the post, followed by dropkicking it out for two.

The fans are behind Mickie as I guess they don’t go for the talented blonde bombshell look. There’s a half crab to stay on the leg before Mickie wraps it up in the ropes and stomps down on it. Now it’s a LET’S GO MICKIE chant and the fans boo as Trish comes back with a headscissors. Even JR isn’t sure why Trish is being booed so badly, though it could be the whole gorgeous brunette in a very short skirt which keeps flying up and down thing. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a sweet sitout powerbomb.

The Stratusfaction (springboard bulldog) is broken up with a grab between the legs, followed by Mickie licking her hand (edited out of most DVD versions). Trish blasts her in the face with a forearm and tries the Stratusfaction but the knee gives out (this is also edited though it might have been a bad attempt at selling the knee injury instead of a botch), allowing Mickie to kick her in the head for the pin and the title at 8:49. JR gets in a great line with “the nutjob has won the title.”

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with an actual story and two women who can actually work a match instead of models who have no idea what they’re doing. These two had a good, long feud with Mickie eventually becoming the new face of the division due to Trish and Lita retiring later in the year. This is still one of the best Divas matches ever and pretty easily the best of this era.

Vince is with the other three McMahons and decides to lead them in a prayer. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” He brags about his physique and wealth before promising to destroy God’s favorite wrestler tonight.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Henry destroyed Undertaker AS NO ONE HAD DONE BEFORE to set this up. This was rumored to be Angle vs. Undertaker but why do something awesome when you can do something boring? At least we get the full druid entrance for the casket, plus the classic story of “I’m not scared of the dark” from Henry. I say classic because EVERY HEEL EVER SAYS THAT TO UNDERTAKER. Undertaker’s entrance goes so long that Cole is able to go through every match in the Streak.

Henry jumps Undertaker during the nearly three minute entrance and pounds him down using big clubbing blows. Yes I said BIG CLUBBING BLOWS. Undertaker tries running him over but a clothesline puts him right back down. They head outside with both guys going into the steps. Slow progress so far. Back in and Henry breaks up Old School and chokes Undertaker near the open casket.

Anything goes though so Undertaker hits him low for the break. Old School works the second time around and Henry misses a charge, sending him down into the casket. Undertaker joins him and they choke each other a lot until Henry gets punched back into the ring. Isn’t that bad strategy for Undertaker? There’s the World’s Strongest Slam and Henry covers out of instinct.

Another trip to the casket goes nowhere so Henry pounds away with even more right hands. Since those don’t work well enough, Mark goes to the middle rope and gets powerbombed down. Not quite the Last Ride but it’s as close as Undertaker was going to get with Henry. Mark is sent to the floor and takes the Taker Dive, followed by a Tombstone to put him in the casket for the win at 9:27.

Rating: D-. This was as going through the motions as you were going to get with neither guy looking like they were trying with any sort of effort. That being said though, if you were scheduled to get Kurt Angle and got Mark Henry instead, how fired up would you be? Bad match here as it was nearly nine minutes of punching and forearms until the ending.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn which I covered earlier. After the grow up line set him off, Vince sent Shane and the Spirit Squad (five male cheerleaders in an odd gimmick choice) after Shawn and even forced him to join his special club. As in the one that involved Vince lower his pants and a kiss from the other person. Figure out the details for yourself.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. JR apologizes in advance for being so biased in this match. Oh thanks for the warning Jimmy. Vince shows off a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness Magazine cover, which really is amazing considering he’s 60 here. Shawn doesn’t want to wait and sends Vince over the table, choking him with an electric cord. The fans want Bret (maybe he could pick this show up a bit) but have to settle for the framed picture (minus the glass) going around Vince’s head.

Cue the Spirit Squad to take Shawn out, including their five man lifting slam. Nicky (later known as Dolph Ziggler and the only one who went anywhere) sends Kenny to the top for a guillotine legdrop but Shawn moves away. Their megaphone goes upside the Squad’s heads and Kenny is sent flying over the top onto the rest of the team.

Vince finally gets back into it with shoulders and choking, first with hands and then with the belt. See? He’s versatile! Vince is all fired up and runs around in a circle before tuning up the band. JR: “He can’t carry a tune.” The kick is caught though and it’s the forearm into the nipup. That means it’s time for Vince to get whipped with his own belt (oh the irony) as JR is even more annoying than usual, ranting about how Vince is a businessman with no heart.

Shane comes in with a kendo stick to break up the real Sweet Chin Music and pulls out some handcuffs. Vince would rather lower his pants though, only to have Shawn hit Shane in the ribs and send him face first into his dad. This is one of those moments that makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan but you have to expect it from Vince. Now Shane gets cuffed to the middle rope and Shawn takes the key away for safekeeping and even mocks Shane’s trademark dance. He was always good at that thing.

Back in and Shawn hits a GREAT chair shot to the head (Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!”) to bust the boss open. Sweet Chin Music is canceled because Shawn would rather pull out a ladder. The top of said ladder goes into Vince’s face and this year it’s JR making the Home Depot joke. That’s still not enough for the superkick though as Shawn would rather bring in three trashcans. Oh and a table of course. You can see another can, ladder and table in case we have another wild brawl later.

Some can shots are followed by Shawn putting Vince on the table and climbing the ladder. That’s not enough though so Shawn climbs down and pulls out the big ladder for the elbow (after some crotch chops) through a trashcan through Vince. Sweet Chin Music FINALLY puts Vince away at 18:27.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long as the last six or seven minutes were just Shawn beating Vince up with no offense from McMahon whatsoever. It’s entertaining in a perverse violent way but at the same time, how long can you see Shawn hit Vince with various metal objects before it gets dull? Even JR was saying end it already. Cut out five minutes of this and it’s way better as this was six minutes longer than Money in the Bank. That’s too much no matter how you look at it. On top of that, this led to a DX reunion and a one sided feud that went on for another five months, even after this total destruction.

Vince flips Shawn off from the stretcher in a perfect touch.

Wrestlemania XXIII is in Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Rey Mysterio had dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to the late Eddie Guerrero, last eliminating Randy Orton to win. Orton wasn’t happy with this and played on Rey’s emotions by bringing up Eddie’s name and saying he would burn forever. This made Rey put his title shot on the line at No Way Out 2006 where Orton defeated him. Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long put Mysterio into the title match anyway to make it a triple threat against champion Kurt Angle (who won the vacant title in a battle royal due to Batista’s injury). This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Angle is defending and P.O.D. plays Mysterio to the ring. No superhero again this year as Rey has an Aztec eagle theme instead. Orton takes the belt from the referee to blast Kurt in the face and runs Rey over for two. Kurt, in black boots for some reason, comes back in with a German suplex to both guys at once. Rey is down so Randy has to take Kurt’s full wrath. This was a great period for Angle as he was on fire and really feeling the Wrestling Machine persona.

The ankle lock attempt is abandoned as Angle has to deal with Mysterio, who headscissors him to the middle rope. This time the ankle lock goes on though as Kurt counters the 619 but Orton gets on the apron with a chair so the referee doesn’t see Rey tap (what a hero: giving up five minutes in when he’s trying to honor his friend’s memory). Now it’s time to unleash the Germans with Angle not even leaving his feet as he throws Mysterio.

An Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor and now Randy gets caught in the hold to make him tap behind the referee’s back. Rey comes back in with a springboard legdrop for two on the champ but he sends Mysterio shoulder first into the post. An RKO out of nowhere (he even did it back then) gets two on Kurt with the ankle delaying the cover. Ever the rocket scientist, Orton goes up top on a bad ankle against Kurt Angle, who gladly runs up the corner for the belly to belly superplex.

Rey’s springboard seated senton gets two on Angle and Randy throws the champ to the floor. His powerbomb into a neckbreaker (a cool move I wish he would use more often) gets two on Rey but a quick Angle Slam gets the same on Orton. Rey armdrags the champ to the floor and it’s the 619 and West Coast Pop to pin Orton for the title at 9:25.

Rating: C+. Where’s the rest of the match? The World Title change at Wrestlemania can’t even get ten minutes but Boogeyman vs. Booker T./Sharmell and the next match can get four minutes each? Mysterio winning is a cool moment but this should have been just beating Orton while Angle fights Undertaker in a classic. At least we had a cool moment though and a good way to cap off Eddie’s legacy while giving Rey a surprise title win.

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero come out to celebrate.

HHH and John Cena are getting ready in the back and JR talks about Cena being defiant like his fans. Fans: “CENA SUCKS!”

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

They’ve both been in Playboy before so here’s a pillow fight on a bed. JR: “This next match will not resemble Gotch and Hackenschmidt.” Of note: Torrie comes out to what would become Laycool’s music and carrying a puppy. Lilian also can’t pronounce Torrie’s hometown of Boise, Idaho. They brawl to start and Torrie turns the bed over. There goes Candice’s dress but she still chokes Torrie with her legs while bending over the top rope. Candice drops a knee and cuts Torrie’s dress off with some scissors. She rubs a copy of Playboy in Torrie’s face but charges into a rollup to give Torrie the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Again, this got about four minutes or nearly half the time of a World Title match. That’s really their best use of Wrestlemania time? As has been the case in the past, I get the appeal and thinking here but this really didn’t need to be the next to last match at the biggest show of the year.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference from earlier in the week. HHH called this the easiest match of his life because sooner or later, they all bow down to the king. He won a quick tournament to get the shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH is challenging and comes out first with a full on Conan the Barbarian look, complete with throne rising through the stage, fur pelt, and of course a bottle of water. Just like Kane in 1998 though, his entrance is trumped almost instantly. We see an old newsreel style video of Chicago in the Great Depression. Gangsters were the only people living the American Dream and a group in Chicago lived harder than anybody. To survive, those people needed three things: Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.

The stage rises up again and a 1930s car with gangsters hanging off the side (one of which is CM Punk) holding Tommy guns. Cena’s music hits and the booing gets even louder. He comes out in a black trench coat and fedora before firing off a Tommy gun of his own. This isn’t the best received entrance but it certainly makes an impression. With all that out of the way, we get the big match intros and it’s time to go. Well after we hear all of HHH’s nicknames of course.

Feeling out process to start with HHH grabbing a hammerlock and throwing Cena to the ground. A kick to the back sends him into the corner as this is all HHH in the very early going. The fans are all over Cena with some very bad words so he tries a quick FU, only to eat a right hand to the jaw to put him down again. To mix things up a bit, HHH throws him out to the floor as they’re taking their time here.

A backdrop of all things gets two for the champ as Lawler says Cena might not be the best wrestler but he can fight. JR jumps to the champ’s defense as he throws HHH into the corner and puts on a chinlock to take a breather. Fans: “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” A big whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash, followed by a slam to put HHH on the ramp.

Back in and they start slugging it out, followed by HHH taking it to the floor again for a whip through the steps. Things slow down with the HHH knee to the mat, followed by one heck of a clothesline for two. Back to back neckbreakers get the same and HHH is as over as free beer in a frat house. JR tries to get over Monarch of the Mat as a new nickname for HHH as he cranks on Cena’s head. A sleeper takes Cena down and turns into a chinlock.

Back up and Cena takes his head off with a clothesline and follows with two more. A powerslam gets two and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle, only to have HHH pop up with a spinebuster. It’s back to the sleeper but Cena quickly suplexes out and now the Shuffle connects. The STFU (the U would eventually be dropped) goes on but HHH is too close to the ropes. With that not working, Cena tries the FU but gets rammed into the referee. HHH uses the opportunity to get in a low blow, which hits Cena and the referee at the same time.

That means it’s time for a sledgehammer to the face for two, because a 6’4 270lb man HITTING YOU IN THE FACE WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER is only going to knock you out for two seconds at a time. HHH loads up the Pedigree (“I hit him in the face with a hammer as hard as I could. Maybe my wrestling move can beat him!”) but Cena reverses into the FU (looking like he’s been out there five minutes and hasn’t been touched) for a near fall. A high cross body misses and it’s back to the Pedigree but Cena reverses into the STFU to eventually retain at 22:04.

Rating: C. Cena was coming but he really wasn’t there yet. This is similar to Rock vs. Austin back in 1999 where the first match wasn’t great (though certainly not bad) but the rematch the next month was WAY better (partially due to Edge being added to spice things up a bit). The match didn’t work for the most part though and that sledgehammer shot was WAY more than I could handle. I repeat: he hit Cena in the face WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER FOR TWO.

That being said, this is the match that made Cena the biggest star in the company. He had always been a big deal and the top star of Raw, but this is the match that made him special. Until then he had been living in Batista’s shadow, but now it’s all about Cena and his in ring abilities would mature to back it up. The match is good, though much more important than anything else.

Highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show just does not hold up. It felt like something used to set up stuff for the future which is fine, but aside from Edge vs. Foley and a good Money in the Bank, what is there on here of value? We have a pretty lame Tag Team Title match where the titles changed hands the next night, a forgettable US Title change, Boogeyman vs. Booker T. (for all intents and purposes), a good Women’s Title match, a REALLY bad casket match, a way too long squash, a World Title change that was far too short though memorable and a pillow fight. Does that sound like Wrestlemania to you?

Now that being said, this isn’t the worst show ever as they kept most of the bad stuff short. The long bad match with Vince vs. Shawn certainly had some good moments with some of Vince’s head trauma and the sheer amusement of seeing the boss get beaten up. Basically, as usual, this show needed another edit and to have about an hour cut out. If you lose some of the short matches entirely (Booker T. vs. Boogeyman to start. Do that nonsense on Raw.), trim off some of Vince’s destruction and add it to the triple threat and cut the show down by at least half an hour, it’s WAY better in a hurry.

This show fell into one of the most common traps for Wrestlemania: trying to squeeze in too much stuff, including a lot of stuff that really didn’t need to be here. There were eleven matches on the card which really is too much. It made for a lot of short and forgettable matches, plus a handful that are actually good. That doesn’t really make up for a good Wrestlemania, though there are worse. We’ll go with this one on the very bottom of the good list list but with the weaker stuff on here being much more forgettable and dull than bad.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/31/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxii-hhh-does-it-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

If last year’s show was about change, this one is ten times stronger. This year is about introducing the newest generation of mega stars into the top of the card and it couldn’t happen sooner. JBL and HHH had been very boring champions with HHH cutting the wings off nearly everyone (including Orton, who turned face after taking the title from Benoit, only to drop it back to HHH a month later). With no one left, it’s time for someone new. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: William Regal, Tajiri, Rhyno, Hurricane, Rosey, Simon Dean, Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Maven, Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Viscera

Smackdown: Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Luther Reigns, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Spike Dudley, Billy Kidman, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Heidenreich, Mark Jindrak, Booker T., Nunzio, Akio

This would become a tradition and a way to get a lot more people on the show and therefore a Wrestlemania payday. This is also interpromotional so everyone is in a red Raw shirt or a blue Smackdown shirt. Regal and Tajiri are Raw Tag Team Champions, Dean is a fitness guru, Snitsky is a freaky guy, Masters is strong, Tomko is Christian’s enforcer, Reigns is another big power guy, Jordan is a JBL lackey and US Champion, London is Cruiserweight Champion and Heidenreich is just weird. I’m not sure why Smackdown has one more name than Raw but it doesn’t really matter. General managers Eric Bischoff and Teddy Long are at ringside.

The rosters stare each other down to start and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask. Ever the nice guy, Heidenreich hits him in the face to start the fighting. Spike hides on the apron and we’re firmly in the part of the battle royal where you can’t tell anything that’s going on. Reigns pulls Hurricane off the top and dumps him out but a bunch of guys get rid of Reigns just as quickly.

A bunch of people go after Viscera and knock him down because they’re not that bright. Four guys hold him down and Scotty adds the Worm, only to have Masters throw out Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a row. Well at least the ring is a little bit clearer. Haas is eliminated and a quick Regal chant goes nowhere. Nunzio is thrown under the bottom rope as the match slows a bit. Maven was eliminated somewhere in there.

Heidenreich, still in the Hurricane mask, rips the turnbuckle pad off for no apparent reason. I told you he was strange. Venis is clotheslined out by Heidenreich and Simon is out a few seconds later. Grenier follows and so does Rosey. Rhyno Gores Snitsky but Holly puts Rhyno out shortly thereafter. There goes Conway followed by both Bashams as the match is now a lot easier to keep track of. Raw and Smackdown square off again and it’s Holly planting Regal with the Alabama Slam.

Jordan eliminates Tomko and Viscera sends Akio over the top and face first onto the steps. Masters eliminates Holly who is followed by Regal. Tajiri sprays the mist into Heidenreich’s face and he eliminates London by mistake. By mistake because they’re both on Smackdown and the idea here is brand vs. brand, even though it’s every man for themselves. Tajiri and Heidenreich go to the apron and both guys are out a few seconds later. We’re down to Masters, Viscera, Snitsky, Jindrak and Booker.

Jindrak catapults Snitsky out and absolutely levels Viscera with a left hand. Masters dumps Jindrak from behind and we’re down to three but Nunzio comes back in because he was never eliminated. He actually makes it a full ten seconds before being eliminated for real and it’s Viscera, Masters and Booker to go. Booker fights out of the double team but the side kick lands on the ropes. Viscera misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Booker to superkick Masters out for the win at 11:36.

Rating: D+. Not the worst battle royal here as they had a bunch of people in there but it was clearly just a way to get them on the DVD for the royalty payment. Still though, Booker winning was a good idea and it’s hard to complain about a bonus match that doesn’t hurt anything and wasn’t part of the main show.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

We get one of my favorite parts of this show: the trailers. The theme of this show was Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, meaning there were several parody movie scenes with wrestlers in place of the actors. We have Eugene as Forrest Gump, Booker T. as Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction, HHH as Braveheart, John Cena and JBL as Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Christy Hemme as Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally, Christian, Chris Benoit and Stacy Keibler in the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct and most of the roster as Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver.

Now we get the debut of the final trailer from Gladiator. The emperor comes down to congratulate the gladiator whose face we can’t see. The voice sounds very familiar though and he takes off the helmet to reveal Steve Austin, who describes himself as a beer drinker among beer drinkers and the master of the middle finger. He promises to create havoc at Wrestlemania tonight because that’s what he does. Good stuff here, as were all of these.

The aisle has a red carpet and there’s a movie marquee that advertises Wrestlemania XXI. It’s one of their better sets ever actually.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is face vs. face as they’re the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. Eddie however is a bit frustrated because he thinks Rey has been showing him up a bit lately. No superhero gear this time as Rey is in a combination Mexican/USA flag costume instead. The bell rings and Rey is already adjusting his mask. Rey flips out of a fireman’s carry and shoulders Eddie down until Guerrero armdrags him down.

A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and it’s time to adjust the mask again. It has a Velcro hook instead of the usual buttons and that’s not going to work very well. Back in and Eddie takes him down with a wristlock until a monkey flip sends Eddie flying. A right hand knocks Rey off the apron though as the aggression is starting. Back in and Eddie gets two off a belly to back before slapping on a surfboard (which takes a good while to finally apply). Eddie has to let go and Rey fixes the mask again.

We hit an STF on Rey but Eddie doesn’t pull back on it very well. Mysterio armdrags out of an armbar and Eddie is looking frustrated. More mask adjustment sets up a flip dive from Rey, followed by more time spent fixing the thing. Mysterio tries to speed things up but Eddie drops him with an elbow to the jaw. Three Amigos are broken up but Rey gets caught in a backbreaker. Two more Amigos connect but Rey counters (adjusting the mask in the process) into the 619, only to have that countered into another backbreaker.

The Three Amigos finally work but the frog splash misses. 619 connects and Rey is bleeding from the mouth. The West Coast Pop is countered into a sweet powerbomb for two as the fans are behind Eddie. Back up and a quick hurricanrana gives Rey the pin (with one final mask fix) at 12:36.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but I think they were expecting something even better. This is what happens when you have a masterpiece like these two had at Halloween Havoc 1997: it sets a virtually unbreakable precedent and puts way too much pressure on them to top it every time they square off again. This kicked off a four month long feud between the two which produced some excellent matches, which was tragically followed up by Eddie’s death in November.

Eddie shakes Rey’s hand.

JBL and company run into HHH and Flair. They compare legacies and HHH laughs at the idea of anyone believing JBL is as good as he thinks. A future showdown is teased but thankfully this never went anywhere. Flair gets in a WOO just because.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

Money in the Bank, which means a ladder match for a briefcase which guarantees them a World Title shot at any time in the next year. Jericho came up with this one night on Raw and others signed up over the next few weeks. This and the battle royal were a much better idea than the multi-team tag matches we sat through last year. Christian has Tomko with him. Shelton is the Intercontinental Champion and has become one heck of a singles star in recent months. Kane’s entrance is again cool as the set has flames all over it, including the ladders set up near the entrance.

Kane starts fighting in the aisle and beats up all four Canadians plus Shelton. Benjamin and Benoit suplex him at ringside but Jericho smacks Edge in the face with a ladder as the bell rings. Jericho beats Shelton up to start but stops to dive on Benoit. Christian dives on all three of his fellow Canadians but Benjamin dives onto all of them plus Tomko. Kane takes out all five of them with a clothesline from the top before hitting Edge with a fresh ladder.

Jericho dropkicks the ladder into Kane but comes up holding his leg. Shelton and Edge take ladders to the face and Edge gets a second dose. Benoit comes back in to German Jericho and the ladder at the same time but Kane breaks up the first climb. That’s fine with Benoit as he grabs the Crossface on Kane. Edge gets the same treatment until Kane hits Benoit in the face with the ladder for the save. Kane isn’t done with him as he crushes Benoit’s arm between the ladder, only to turn into a spear from Edge.

We get a quick Edge and Christian reunion as they crush Kane with ladders, much to the delight of the crowd. Shelton gets back in and kicks a ladder into Christian’s face and flapjacks Edge into the ladder for good measure. Jericho and Benjamin fight on top of the ladder but Christian sets up his own and joins them. Benoit climbs up with one arm but here’s Edge on a third ladder. Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”

Christian takes Benoit down by the arm, Jericho gets shoved off and Shelton hits his t-bone exploder suplex to take Edge down. The ladder falls on the two of them to make it even worse. Christian bridges a ladder up against another one to make a ramp but Jericho puts him down and climbs, only to have Shelton run up the ramp and clothesline him down. Kane comes back in and cleans house until Tomko kicks him in the face. Tomko lifts Christian up ala Rhyno at Wrestlemania XVII but Kane makes a save.

Kane sends the ladder over to send Christian crashing to the floor and onto Tomko. Well it’s better than those insane crashes Christian used to take. Jericho and Kane both fall off the ladder with Kane crashing in the middle of the ring. Benoit drops a Swan Dive off the ladder to bust himself open. The bloody Canadian climbs up but Kane does the Undertaker situp, only to get headbutted back down to the mat. Benoit is alone up there but Edge BLASTS him in the bad arm with a chair, allowing him to climb up (JR: “Somebody stop him! Anyone! Even Christian!”) and win at 15:20.

Rating: A-. It’s amazing how much better these things are when you have a more reasonable number of people. Six seems to be the magic number but the later versions would have seven or eight and the whole thing would get too crowded and watered down. This was awesome fun though with some great spots that would be built on in future years. Edge getting the win is the biggest moment of his career and it felt like a huge moment. Really good way to introduce the concept.

Here’s Eugene (Eric Bischoff’s, shall we say, slow nephew) with something to say. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment after King Kong Bundy squashed one of the midgets at Wrestlemania III and the rest of the midgets got together like an army. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and manager Daivari, a pair of Arab American wrestlers who claimed racism was the only thing holding them back.

Hassan: “Do you know why I’m angry?” Eugene: “You don’t like midgets?” Hassan rants about all the fake people here in Hollywood and the prejudice and bigotry in the city’s history. In his way over the top voice, Hassan goes off about taking a backseat to a loser like Eugene. He could not, would not and will not stand for this so he’s going to create a Wrestlemania moment of his own. Hassan decks the injured Eugene and puts him in the camel clutch…..which brings out Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow.

Hulk cleans house with ease and the fans eat this up with a fork and spoon. Daivari’s chair shot goes very badly for him and it’s time to pose. This set up a tag match at Backlash with Hogan teaming up with Shawn Michaels. It’s a great moment and a great surprise with Hogan bringing the crowd to his feet doing as he can do better than almost anyone else. The American flag drops, just in case you didn’t know who you were supposed to cheer for. Keep in mind though: Hassan is from New York and Daivari is from Minnesota.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton had lost the Raw World Title to HHH and then lost a long feud to him, meaning it was time to give him something fresh. To get back on track, Orton turned heel again (he pretty much had to after the face turn was ruined so badly) and decided to end the Streak. Even Randy’s dad Cowboy Bob thought Randy is crazy for trying this until the RKO put Undertaker down one night on Smackdown.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

The druids and torches are back this year. Undertaker, with his hair past his shoulders again, glides to the ring without taking a single step. No Cowboy Bob with Orton here. Orton starts with a slap and nails a nice dropkick for one. That earns him a stiff right hand to the jaw and the RKO is easily countered as Undertaker throws him to the floor.

Old School actually connects but Orton hits another dropkick and punches him in the face. Undertaker comes right back with a side slam for two. Snake Eyes looks to set up a big boot but Orton elbows him in the face to take over. The fans are all over Orton as he pounds away with forearms and right hands. A dragon sleeper (a hold Undertaker used for a bit until it became clear that it didn’t fit him) has Orton in trouble spins around and counters with a DDT.

We hit the chinlock but Undertaker would rather not bore the fans so he suplexes Orton down instead. A powerslam gets two on Undertaker and Orton is stunned. I’m not sure why as he never won anything major with that move but that’s a young heel for you. He follows that up by being a young stupid heel as he pounds down right hands in the corner, only to get caught in the Last Ride. Orton slips out and tries an RKO but gets sent into the referee for a horrible ref bump. I mean Orton’s forearm grazed the referee’s chest and it looked like he died.

After Undertaker falls down trying another Last Ride, here’s Cowboy Bob (who might have missed his cue to force the second failed powerbomb) to knock Undertaker out with the cast (He had a very slow healing arm injury. Going on twenty years at this point.) but there’s still no referee. Undertaker gets up and tries a chokeslam, only to have Orton counter into an RKO in midair. That’s one of my all time favorite spots. Orton is stupid enough to try a Tombstone but Undertaker reverses into the real thing to put Orton away at 14:16.

Rating: B-. This show is on fire to start with the third straight good match, which is somehow a step down after a pair of really good matches. Orton looked like a star out there and began the tradition of someone wanting to break the Streak instead of someone having a personal issue with Undertaker. This would become something like another World Title match over the years as the matches would (eventually) become bigger and bigger over time.

We recap evil Trish vs. Christy Hemme. Christy was in Playboy and Trish didn’t like not being in the spotlight, setting up a title defense for Trish here. Lita tore her ACL in January to prevent another showdown with Trish and is training Christy to make us think she has a chance. The problem is Hemme is just a model and is making her debut against the best female wrestler of the generation.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending of course and easily kicks Christy to the floor to start. Christy is sent into the steps and this is already looking one sided. Back in and the Chick Kick is blocked, followed by Christy kicking Trish low to take over. It’s clear that she has NO idea what she’s doing though and Lawler keeps the focus on her very short skirt. Christy sunset flips her out of the corner for two and makes her comeback with some lame kicks, followed by a reverse Twist of Fate. That’s it though as the Chick Kick puts Christy out of her misery at 4:11.

Rating: D. This was about Christy looking good and Lita being there for a completely token appearance. At the end of the day, this was going to be the future of the Divas division no matter how many people were disappointed. Your wrestling ability stopped mattering because the only important thing was how good you looked in skin tight shorts. Bad match but they kept it short as they should have.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was dominating the Royal Rumble when Shawn came in and eliminated him with a quick superkick. This wasn’t cool with Kurt and he wanted a one on one match with Shawn at Wrestlemania. You don’t have to ask Shawn twice about a chance to show off at the biggest show of the year.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

If this is anything less than a classic, it’s going to be a disappointment. They stare each other down to start until Shawn slaps her in the face. That earns him a takedown but Shawn makes it to the ropes. A headlock slows Kurt down and the fans seem to be on Angle’s side. Back up and Shawn takes him right back down into a headlock. A hiptoss takes Angle down again and we hit a short armscissors.

Angle comes up with the customary lifting counter but Shawn rolls into a sunset flip. Back to the headlock as they’re doing a nice job of recreating the Bret vs. Shawn story of Shawn wrestling technical when his opponents wouldn’t have expected him to go that route. A quick ankle lock attempt is countered and the Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside.

Shawn is ticked off for some reason and loads up the announcers’ table, rolls inside to break the count (a forgotten move) and gets caught in an Angle Slam into the post. Well not really the Slam itself I don’t know how else you would call that. Kurt starts in on the back and puts on a body scissors. The fans are split as it’s time to trade some chops. Enough of that though as Kurt grabs a belly to belly and it’s time for a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Shawn fights up but slaps Angle for some reason, earning himself a big clothesline for two.

Kurt loads up a belly to belly superplex but gets shoved down instead. The top rope elbow misses though and Shawn crashes back first onto the mat. There go the straps but Kurt gets backdropped out to the floor and Shawn, always the crazy one, follows him out with a high cross body. Back up and the German suplex to the floor is teased again but as always, Kurt can’t quite pull it off. Mainly because of the whole death thing. Shawn kicks him low for the save instead and puts Angle on the table for a spinning splash from the apron, which DOESN’T break the table in a sick landing.

Both guys are very slow to get back in as you would expect but it’s Shawn with the forearm into the nipup to get the fans right back on his side. The elbow connects this time around but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock again. Shawn can’t roll out of it but he finally makes the rope. The Angle Slam is countered so Kurt grabs the ankle as a consolation prize. That counter is countered into a cradle for two but now the Slam connects for two.

In another awesome moment, Kurt puts the straps back up so he can pull them right back down, only to miss the moonsault. Might be time for a new strategy Kurt. Shawn loads up another elbow but this time Angle runs the ropes for a super Angle Slam. It still only gets two so Kurt yells at him, allowing Shawn to shove him away and nail Sweet Chin Music for another near fall. Both guys are very slow to get up and Shawn leaves his foot too close to Kurt, setting up the ankle lock with the grapevine for the (very) eventual tap at 27:27.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with the athletic slugfest at its best. There’s something so great about two masters out there showing everything they could do. Shawn is at his best when he gives it everything he has but just isn’t good enough, though he would win the rematch later in the year. Great stuff here and I really don’t see anything else topping this tonight.

The guys get a well deserved standing ovation.

We get the full Basic Instinct trailer again with Stacy implying there’s something between herself and Trish.

Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guest Steve Austin. Piper thanks us for the Hall of Fame induction but wants to make some history. He’s been told that Austin is the toughest man in the WWE and he calls that bull. This brings out Austin, who Piper says is supposed to be some rebel. Piper slaps him in the face so Austin swears at him and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kind of like you!”

The WHAT chants get on Piper’s nerves quick but he learns how to talk at the right cadence. There’s a point Piper wants to differ on but the WHAT chants cut him off again. Piper says he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t have a number and was ticking Vince off when Austin was in diapers. For some reason JR thinks that’s quite the insult. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel.

It’s Austin’s turn now and he rips on Piper a bit, in time with the WHAT chants. Piper says this is failure to communicate and here’s Carlito if all people to interrupt. Carlito thinks these arguments are stupid because neither of them are cool enough for him (that’s and spitting apples at people are pretty much his entire gimmick). Austin invites him into the ring but Piper has no idea who Carlito is.

Carlito wants them both to leave and can we just get to the Stunners already? Piper steals the apple and spits some of it at Carlito. That earns him some left hands to the head as Austin just watches. Austin finally beats Carlito up, throws him to Piper for a thumb to the eye and gives him the Stunner. It’s time to drink for a good while until Austin finally Stuns Piper too. This went on WAY too long and I have no idea what they were going for but it completely missed. None of them looked like they wanted to be there and Carlito didn’t get anything out of it.

Backlash ad.

Here’s the full Taxi Driver trailer which was voted the best by the fans. The highlight is Batista turning it into a Who’s On First routine.

Akebono vs. Big Show

Why not have some sumo wrestling on the show? You win by pushing your opponent outside the circle or by knocking him off his feet. Akebono is a sumo champion and would become a full time professional wrestler in Japan soon after this. Cole and Tazz treat this as something serious but the fans clearly don’t care. After they go through all the rituals, Akebono wins with relative ease in 1:02. This really, really didn’t need to be here and was lost on the fans, which really isn’t surprising as it wasn’t exactly what they signed up for.

We recap John Cena vs. JBL which is entirely built around a culture clash. Cena won a #1 contenders tournament to earn this shot by beating Angle at No Way Out 2004. JBL is old school and rich while Cena is a brash, in your face rapper who wears throwback jerseys and hats. He had turned the US Title into a spinner belt so JBL helped his lackey Orlando Jordan take the title and then burned it (ok so JBL wasn’t all bad).

JBL got in Cena’s face and said the only way Cena’s family could pay the bills was to have his mama on her back all the time. Since they weren’t allowed to touch each other, Cena ruined JBL’s car, clothes and limousine to try to get JBL to punch him. Naturally this got Cena arrested and JBL hit him while he was defenseless. The build was good, but there’s no question that this is the second biggest match on the show.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

JBL is defending and comes to the ring in a limo with a police escort. To make it even better, JBL dollars fall from the ceiling. I always liked the way JBL held the belt (clasped together but in his hand instead of around his waist). He even sends the Cabinet to the back so this is one on one. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it until he runs into a boot to the jaw to stagger him.

They trade shoulders with JBL getting the better of it by running Cena over. A big chop staggers Cena again and the champ chokes him on the middle rope. Cena’s comeback is stopped with a spinebuster and punching him in the head. A short arm clothesline (ala Jake Roberts) sets up a sleeper but Cena finally escapes with a belly to back suplex.

There’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again and it’s JBL up first. Cena takes a neckbreaker on the floor and a superplex keeps him in trouble but JBL can’t follow up. JBL eventually gets two and goes to the middle rope, diving right into a powerslam (not a scoop slam Cole) to give Cena an opening. The running shoulders and a hiptoss draw some trash talk and the fans are trying to wake up. The Shuffle connects and Cena ducks the Clothesline, setting up the FU for the pin and the title at 11:27.

Rating: D+. For what was supposed to be a changing of the guard, this was really boring stuff. JBL just could not do it in the ring again at this point and it was clear for months now. Cena winning the first title at Wrestlemania is a big deal and he did what he could but you need a better opponent. JBL had a long run and this was a pretty weak way to end it. Not that I expected anything else though. Their really violent rematch was MILES better and what this match should have been.

Cena celebrates in the crowd.

We look at last night’s Hall of Fame inductions, headlined by Piper and Hogan. They had to go in together.

Gene Okerlund introduces the Class of 2005: Nikolai Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Paul Orndorff (who points to Miss Jackie as she escorts him), Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan. In other words: pretty much Wrestlemania I as a whole.

Wrestlemania XXII is in Chicago.

We recap the main event. Batista had been Evolution’s animal but he was slowly getting better and smarter. This scared HHH, who thought the whole thing was about him. He and Flair put together a plan to manipulate Batista into fighting JBL at Wrestlemania but Batista overheard them, leading to him beating HHH up. Now HHH has to fight the monster on his own and no one, including Cena, is hotter than Batista.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and seem to forget the words as it’s a horrible rendition. HHH is also coming out first and rises up through the stage because his entrance needs to be much cooler than Batista’s. They circle each other to start and we get the big power lockup. HHH’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere and Batista takes over with something like a powerslam.

The champ gets thrown into the corner for some right hands but HHH finally sends him out to the floor for a breather. Flair gets caught trying to sneak in a shot, which isn’t enough for an ejection but whatever. Back in and it’s time for choking and stomping, including some extra from Flair. HHH starts in on the back as this is kind of an awkward way to start. An elbow to the back clearly doesn’t make contact so HHH drops some knees instead. A backbreaker keeps up the focus and Flair gets in even more choking.

Some right hands stagger HHH but it’s a spinebuster (because that doesn’t weaken Batista’s spinebuster whatsoever) for a few two counts in a row. The Pedigree is broken up with a backdrop but HHH cuts him off AGAIN with a facebuster. HHH goes up top and dives into a clothesline followed by a side slam for two. That’s enough offense for now as Batista charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Batista comes right back with a hard whip to send HHH out to the floor but the champ sends him hard into the steps to regain control. The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a slingshot into the post, drawing blood from HHH’s head. Back in and Batista goes after the cut with some big forearms before driving the shoulders in the corner.

The fans are trying to get behind Batista again but that HHH dominance killed a lot of the match. Flair tries a distraction so HHH can get a chair but the referee takes it away. Ric takes out the referee and tries a belt shot, only to walk into a spinebuster instead. HHH gets in the belt shot for two. Now the Batista spinebuster connects but a low blow stops the fans AGAIN. The Pedigree is blocked and Sheamus’ White Noise sets up the Batista Bomb to give us a new champion at 21:40.

Rating: C-. Screw off with HHH and his ridiculous ego. Batista won in the end but this was ALL about HHH and making sure he looked as strong as possible in defeat. The fans wanted to cheer here but it felt like every other HHH match in this era but with Batista finally surviving to win the title. The fifteen minutes of dominance here really hurt the match and that’s mainly because of HHH not letting Batista get in enough offense until the end. Couple that with HHH’s awesome entrance and this felt more like a farewell to HHH than the coronation of a new star.

Batista holds up the title to HHH and poses to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very lopsided show as the last hour and a half is a BIG drop from the first two hours and fifteen minutes. The World Title matches just aren’t very good (much more boring than bad though) and some of the other stuff like Piper’s Pit and the sumo match was just plain awful. I’m really not sure what the point of the Pit was unless they were going for a rub for Carlito, but you would think that him beating Cena in his debut match in the fall would have accomplished that just fine.

On the other hand though, four of the five first matches range from good to excellent with only Trish vs. Christy (a four minute match with three gorgeous women) falling short. If you could cut out a good chunk of the last third, this is a MUCH stronger show and one of the better ones of all time. Considering that’s similar to what I said last year, it’s pretty easy to see that pushing four hours (or five last year) is too long for a wrestling show. Obviously you can’t expect everything to be great, but cut some of it down or improve it a lot. Still though, the really good more than outweighs the bad here and that’s always a positive.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Kane

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Original: F+

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Akebono vs. Big Show

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Batista

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Just about everything was a step lower this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-wrestlemania-21-best-ad-campaign-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/30/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxi-another-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

There really was no other option for the location of the twentieth Wrestlemania. Even though it’s a much smaller venues than the stadiums they had been running, there’s something about this place that makes the show feel special. It’s the world’s most famous arena in the company’s old hometown. You just don’t get any better than that. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

Vince McMahon walks into a dark room and a voiceover takes us into a history of Wrestlemania. I know Vince gets some flack and a lot of it is deserved, but there is no one else who should have opened this show. Again, this year’s video treats the show like the most important event of the year and so far ahead of anything else in wrestling. The tagline is “Where it all begins again” and the camera goes back to Vince, who is standing next to Shane and holding his first grandchild. That’s a very cool idea and brought a smile to my face.

The entrance is on the left of the ring but there’s a video screen opposite the hard camera showing the current match. There did need to be something there, for old times’ sake if nothing else.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

And so it begins. Cena is challenging here and is still the rapper, meaning he’s one of the most popular acts on the roster. He calls Show a monkey and thinks his match is against a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. The fans are more than willing to chant Big Show sucks. It’s so strange to see Cena this popular in New York. To show you how worthless the title was to Big Show, he won the belt on October 19, 2003. This is his third televised title defense.

Cena sticks and moves to start but Show throws him to the floor with ease. Still mostly uneducated, Cena tries to come back in with a high cross body and gets powerslammed to teach him a lesson. Cole describes a headbutt from Show as being hit in the head with a typewriter. Are there a lot of reports of being hit in the head with typewriters and comparisons to headbutts from large wrestlers?

Show superkicks him down and easily breaks up a sleeper attempt. Off to a cobra clutch from the champ but Cena powers up and hits a quick FU (later known as the Attitude Adjustment) for two. Cena is STUNNED so he grabs his chain for a right hand to the head. It’s just a ruse though as the referee stops him, allowing Cena to grab his brass knuckles to knock Show silly and hit another FU for the pin and the title at 9:17.

Rating: C-. The crowd reactions help this one a lot but they’re more interesting due to how loathed Cena would be in the coming years. Cena’s power wasn’t on full display here though the FU’s looked good. This was a return to form for the opening match as the fans were dying to see Cena get pushed and loved to see him take the title from Show who was wasting the title for months.

Coach is talking to various people on his way to Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff’s dressing room. Bischoff gives Coach the job of finding Undertaker, who is a Smackdown guy. Undertaker hadn’t been seen in months after Kane buried him alive, but the rumor is that he’s coming back as the Dead Man for the first time since 1999.

Evolution (Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista. Leader HHH is busy tonight.) talks about how it all begins again here. Orton can’t wait to break Mick Foley again. This is the part of a ten month feud where Foley was scared of losing his legacy at the hands of the legend killer Orton. He walked away multiple times but returned at the Royal Rumble to attack Orton.

The rest of Evolution beat the tar out of Foley in February and it was clear he needed help. With no one else to turn to, Foley made a call to Hollywood and the Rock came running (literally) to help his old buddy. Orton says it’s his time now and he’ll kill some legends tonight. Randy looked like a pure star here and instantly had that IT factor that you can’t teach. I completely see the potential they saw here and it’s hard to argue against charisma like that.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Unfortunately the champions have a combined version of their theme music and it really, really doesn’t work. La Resistance (Rob Conway and Rene Dupree) are evil Frenchman (well Rene is while Conway is a sympathizer) and Cade/Jindrak are your run of the mill young muscular heels. Dupree and Van Dam get things going with the champ throwing the villain around. Rene gets catapulted into a kick from Booker and Conway’s save attempt goes bad. It’s off to Bubba as the fans already want tables.

Bubba tries a little Flip Flop and Fly but gets kick in the face for his troubles. Van Dam adds one to D-Von and we settle down to Jindrak beating on Booker. Dupree tags himself in and La Resistance takes over with stomps and a bow and arrow from Conway. After far too long in the hold, Booker gets up and grabs a spinebuster, allowing the tag to Van Dam. House is quickly cleaned as everything breaks down. Cade breaks up 3D on Booker but Booker nails the scissors kick on Conway, followed by the Five Star to retain at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was a good example of everything that was wrong with the division at this point. You could have cut out at least one of these teams to make the match a lot more entertaining as well as coherent. Did anyone really want to see Jindrak and Cade in here? Jindrak was amazingly athletic but I didn’t need to see him in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Coach is going to find Undertaker and hears strange noises and banging coming from a closet. He opens the door and finds…..Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund trying to get their clothes back on. Heenan: “No it’s not what you think!” They were playing poker you see. The door opens again and Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young drag the guys back in. Coach walks away in a daze. JR: “Oh lord.”

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. This was an awesome story as the two were tag partners who made a bet over who could “nail” Lita or Trish respectfully for $1 Canadian. Lita dropped out of the story pretty quickly but Jericho started to actually fall for Trish. She started to have feelings for Jericho too but Christian hated the fact that she was breaking up the team. Christian beat her up in an intergender match to teach Jericho (a full on good guy by now) a lesson. This started a feud between the two and the big showdown is at Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

The aggressive Jericho controls to start and backdrops Christian from the apron out to the floor in a unique spot. A springboard plancha puts Christian down but he comes right back with something like a belly to back suplex to send Chris out to the floor in a huge crash. A chinlock keeps Jericho down for a bit before they ram heads to keep him down even longer.

Jericho keeps calling him a CLB (creepy little bastard) to get on Christian’s nerves, followed by an enziguri for two. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go before Christian hits a reverse tornado DDT for two of his own. Christian heads up top and breaks up Chris’ superplex attempt by just throwing him face first onto the mat. Jericho might have tweaked his knee so Christian gets smart by putting on a Texas Cloverleaf. I could go for someone using that as a finisher or even a big time hold.

Jericho counters into the Walls though and holds on even as Christian crawls through the ropes to the floor. This brings Trish out to ringside as Christian plants Jericho with a DDT. Trish gets up on the apron so Christian drags her in. Jericho goes over to check on her and gets elbowed in the face by mistake, knocking Jericho into a rollup for the pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but this was much more about the story than the action. This story worked really well all around and everyone comes out of it looking better, mainly because they took their time and let the story build instead of wedging it into a month and then doing one match followed by a gimmick rematch. It makes for a better story and the whole thing works.

Post match Jericho goes after Christian again but Trish holds him back, only to slap him into the Unprettier. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage. This gives us evil Trish which, in a word, worked.

Mick Foley says this is the biggest night in the history of wrestling in Madison Square Garden so yes he is overcome. Rock comes in to say let the emotion go because FINALLY the Rock has come back to New York City. After telling Lillian Garcia that the people’s package buffet is closed, Rock hijacks a cameraman to see Hurricane and Rosey (the Superhero In Training), Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and of course the people themselves as the camera goes into the arena for a second. It’s time to electrify.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Orton/Flair/Batista here. This is Rock’s first match in a nearly a year and Foley’s first match since Wrestlemania XVI. Orton is Intercontinental Champion. Rock and Foley clear out all three and it’s Flair vs. Rock to start. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Flair is a heel but this is New York. They go for Rock to start as he takes over early with right hands and backdrops both in and out of the ring.

Foley dives off the apron with the elbow drop and you can tell this is going to be a hot one. Orton gets the tag so Foley comes in, sending Randy bailing to the outside. Why you would go outside against the hardcore legend isn’t clear and Foley takes over as you would expect. Mick ties him in the Tree of Woe and hands it off to Rock for what looked like a low blow. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor and drops him on the barricade to give Evolution their first advantage.

Now Flair’s chops have an effect and the strut is loudly cheered. Rock clotheslines Ric down though and is booed for the fourth straight year at Wrestlemania. Batista takes a clothesline as well and it’s back to Mick for the knee lift. Foley pounds away in the corner but Batista hits his big clothesline (a secondary finisher a few months earlier) to knock Foley outside again.

We get Mick’s double knees to the steps bump and now Orton is willing to come in. After a few cheap shots from Randy it’s back to Batista who has to be saved from the Mandible Claw. Flair again and the fans welcome him back with open arms. Ric takes a forearm to the head though and the tag brings in Rock to face Orton. Rock tries to fight three on one but walks into a spinebuster from Batista.

It’s back to Flair…..who loads up the People’s Elbow, complete with strut of course. It takes too long though and Rock nips up. Right hands and a spinebuster set up the original People’s Elbow, again complete with strut. The Rock Bottom plants Orton but Flair pulls Rock to the floor. A Batista Bomb gives Randy two and the hot tag brings in Foley to clean house. It’s Socko time but Orton grabs a quick RKO out of nowhere for the pin at 17:09. Foley is shocked at the fall, which puts Orton over even more.

Rating: B. This was great fun with Rock and Flair being the hams that only they can be. They knew they were in the big arena for the smart fans and they played right to them. The real star here though was Foley, who made Orton look like a star here, just as he was supposed to do. They would do that again the next month at Backlash in their big showdown where Foley put Orton over and made him look like a star. Orton would be World Champion in August and these two matches played a big role in getting him there.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony, which made its return after an eight year absence. The line of the night came from Bobby Heenan. After thanking everyone: “One thing is missing. I wish Monsoon was here.” That gets me every time.

The Class of 2004 is brought out for the audience and each gets an introduction: Bobby Heenan (playing to the crowd the entire way through), Tito Santana, Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the fans start cheering before Gene can start talking), Pete Rose (celebrity induction and said to be incredibly humble and thankful for the honor), Don Muraco, Greg Valentine (much bigger reaction than I was expecting), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (loudest ovation of the group in a bit of a surprise), Sgt. Slaughter (USA chant) and Jesse Ventura.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is a Playboy evening gown match which means you have to strip your opponents to win. Sable and Wilson had done a Playboy pictorial together but Jackie (Jackie Gayda from Tough Enough, not Jacqueline) and Stacy thought they should have been featured instead. Sable wants to just have the match without the gowns but Jackie won’t follow suit, only to be stripped by her opponents.

Jackie and Sable start and it’s quickly off to Torrie for a high cross body. Stacy comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence to show off the camera shots. We get the trademark rolling over the referee spot as Cole and Tazz are (rightfully) treating this as a huge joke. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:41.

Clips of fans coming from around the world to see Wrestlemania.

Eddie tells Benoit that he’s proud of him no matter what. Benoit needs the fire in his eyes though and Eddie finally gets it out of him, drawing a big smile.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a gauntlet match with Chavo Guerrero (with his father Chavo Sr.) defending and going in last at #10. Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon (a Japanese legend who trips twice during his entrance) start things off fast with some near falls until Shannon scores with a belly to back suplex. Dragon avoids a corkscrew moonsault press and grabs the Asai DDT (kind of a standing sliced bread #2) for the pin at 1:17.

Jamie Noble (a country redneck) is in at #3 and blasts Dragon from behind, only to take some rapid fire kicks to the chest. Noble comes right back with a guillotine choke for a submission at 2:15. Funaki comes in at #4 with a high cross body but Noble rolls through into a pin at 2:23. Nunzio (a stereotypical Italian) is in at #5 and lasts a bit better as the fans want their pizza. A quick rollup gets two on Noble and Nunzio gets the same off a middle rope dropkick.

Jamie sends him outside and hits a big flip dive from the top for a countout at 4:15. Billy Kidman (a talented guy without much of a gimmick) is in at #6 but Nunzio is still at ringside and pulls Noble to the floor. That’s fine with Kidman who hits a top rope shooting star (barely rotating enough and nearly breaking his neck) to take everyone down. Back in and Noble’s guillotine doesn’t work very well so Kidman goes up top and BK Bombs (sitout spinebuster) Noble for the pin at 6:06.

Rey Mysterio (dressed as the Flash this year) is in at #7 and dropkicks Kidman to the floor, only to come back in with a Sky High for two. Kidman takes him up top but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin at 7:26. Tajiri (a Japanese wrestler with some of the hardest kicks you’ll ever see) is in at #8 and quickly takes the 619.

The West Coast Pop is blocked though and Tajiri sprays the Asian mist, only to hit his partner Akio by mistake. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin at 8:36. Akio can’t go because of the mist so Chavo is in for the final match against Mysterio. A springboard hurricanrana takes Chavo down and Rey takes out Chavo Sr. for good measure. Back in and Chavo counters a sunset flip and gets the pin with help from his dad at 10:26.

Rating: D. I can’t stand matches like this one as they completely stretch the suspension of disbelief. Most regular matches take at least a few minutes but we just had eight falls and only one of them came close to two minutes. If I’m a casual fan, the only thing I know about any of these people is that Chavo cheats to retain his title. This went by way too fast and really should have just been Chavo vs. Mysterio.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar in an interpromotional match. Goldberg and Lesnar had words at the 2004 Royal Rumble and Brock attacked Goldberg in the Rumble itself, leading to his elimination. Steve Austin then gave Goldberg a ticket to Lesnar’s title defense against Eddie at No Way Out 2004, where Goldberg of course cost him the title. Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Austin beat him up on Smackdown to get it back.

This set up a showdown here with Austin as guest referee to try to hold things together. The problem is word leaked that both guys were leaving as soon as Wrestlemania was over and the fans all knew about it. This could go bad in a hurry, especially in the smarkiest of all smark strongholds.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Austin is guest referee. The YOU SOLD OUT chants begin and there’s no contact in the first thirty seconds. Austin tells them to go but they stare at each other for the first minute. The fans sing the Goodbye Song and Goldberg swears at Lesnar a lot. Nothing in the first ninety seconds. Make that two minutes. The fans chant for Austin as he stares at Goldberg.

They FINALLY lock up at 2:46 as JR brags about Goldberg being a mixed martial arts aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty five seconds and then they stare at each other even more. We’re four minute into this now and the only contact has been that lockup. Another lockup goes twenty eight seconds before they break. The fans are loudly and rightfully booing now. At the five minute mark, Lesnar grabs a headlock. They trade shoulders and stare each other down again.

Another big shoulder apiece puts both guys down as we hit six minutes. Brock gets in the first strike with a kick to the ribs at just under seven minutes. A gorilla press into a spinebuster drops Lesnar but Goldberg misses a spear in the corner. The fans are all over Goldberg now as Brock hits two straight suplexes.

Off to a side choke from Brock to eat up time before they have the nerve to do a double clothesline. Goldberg comes back with more clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a spear for two. Austin and Goldberg argue a bit and Brock grabs an F5 for two. Back up and Goldberg hits a big spear but is booed out of the building. The Jackhammer ends Lesnar at 13:48.

Rating: F. As much of an embarrassment as this was, it took some guts to go out there in MSG and do this on the biggest show of the year. I don’t want to imagine how bad this would have been had Austin, who was innocent in this whole mess, not been there to keep it as coherent as he did. This was barely a match but it was certainly something interesting to see, as unfair as it was to the fans.

Lesnar throws up two middle fingers (which he later said were to Vince and not the fans) and gets Stunned. Austin throws Goldberg a beer, then throws him two more after he drops the first one. Goldberg is booed out of the building and takes a Stunner, followed by Austin consuming a lot of beer.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

Fireworks go off from the roof of Madison Square Garden.

Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for making Wrestlemania what it is on behalf of everyone who has ever performed for him and his entire family. Nothing else said here but this was a very nice moment.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

One fall to a finish. Too Cool (Scotty and Rikishi) are defending. The World’s Greatest Tag Team was known as Team Angle. The Bashams (Doug and Danny) are two guys who looked a lot alike and were some of the biggest stars in Ohio Valley Wrestling history (then developmental), yet for some reason they only had a forgettable tag run before they were out of the company.

Bradshaw and Benjamin start things off with Bradshaw shoving him around, only to have Danny Basham come in for an atomic drop. Haas and Benjamin take over on Danny but he sneaks away to make the tag to Scotty. That means it’s time for some dancing until Haas hangs Scotty over the top rope so Shelton can dive onto Scotty’s back.

Charlie slaps on a bearhug before it’s off to the Bashams for a double suplex into a double nipup. Scotty flips out of a suplex and dives into the corner for the hot tag to Rikishi, who has gone from a comedy goof to someone treated as a moderate legend for reasons I don’t quite understand. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw charges into a Samoan drop. Rikishi sits on Danny’s chest to retain at 6:05.

Rating: D. This was the same as the Raw Tag Team Title match earlier and that’s not a good thing. After the previous few matches, this really wasn’t a good choice to go with here and feels like they’re just dragging the show on even longer. The match isn’t terrible or anything but again it shows how weak the tag divisions (yes both of them) are at this point. Merging them together would have been a great idea but we were years away from that.

The champs dance a bit.

Edge is returning from his neck surgery soon.

Here’s Jesse Ventura to do an interview because this show hasn’t drawn out long enough. His interviewee tonight: Donald Trump. Donald talks about how awesome Vince is and pledges his financial support to Jesse if he gets back into politics. That would be a very, very different interview if it happened today. Another waste of a few minutes to drag this show out even longer.

Molly Holly is ready for her title shot.

JR and Lawler talk about tomorrow’s Raw a bit.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair. Feeling out process to start with Molly taking over in the corner, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and a quick basement dropkick gets two on the champ and we hit a neck crank. A powerslam gets two for Victoria but Lawler keeps trying to talk about the evening gown match. Molly mostly powerbombs Victoria out of the corner for two but a quick backslide retains the title at 4:56.

Rating: C-. This needed more time as they were flying through the match because they only had five minutes instead of a realistic length. If only there was some other stuff they could have cut out from the show that meant absolutely nothing and just ate up parts of the show. These two were both very talented women and they could have a good match if they were given the chance.

Victoria chases Molly up the ramp and ties her into the barber’s chair for the head shaving. Allegedly that was the only way Molly could get on the show and she couldn’t sign up fast enough.

We recap Angle vs. Guerrero. Eddie won the title about a month ago but Angle attacked him soon after. Angle didn’t think Eddie was a good enough role model for the WWE due to his past drug issues. Eventually Eddie agreed to face Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman with his hands cuffed behind his back. Naturally this brought out Angle for a beating to really light a fire under Eddie, setting up this match.

After the long video, Molly is still being shaved and is completely bald. The fans are impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending of course and rides out in a low rider truck. They hit the mat to start with Eddie hanging with Angle at first until Kurt grabs a headlock. A top wristlock goes well for Angle and he shoulders Eddie down for good measure. Back up and Eddie nails a hard shoulder of his own but is still feeling the effects of the arm work.

Angle easily regains control on the mat with some movement so fast that Tazz can’t even call before Angle is off to the next position. A front facelock keeps Eddie down but he reverses a suplex into an armbar of his own. That’s not cool with Angle so he gets up and grabs an abdominal stretch but the champ is right back with the Three Amigos but Angle counters into the Rolling Germans.

Eddie gets to the apron though and has to hang on tight so Kurt can’t German him out onto the floor. Instead the champ knocks Kurt to the floor but misses a top rope dive, landing ribs fist against the barricade. Kurt is smart enough to stay on the ribs as he drops them across the top rope, followed by the belly to bellys. Off to a smart bearhug but Eddie pokes him in the neck (that’s a new one) for the break.

Eddie goes up top so Kurt tries to run the buckles, only to get shoved back down. The frog splash misses though and Eddie is in trouble again. Cole is AGHAST that Kurt is throwing punches to a staggered Eddie. Guerrero tells him to bring it on so Kurt tries to roll the Germans, only to get caught in a rollup for two. A dropkick looks to set up the frog splash but Kurt is like “boy you’re getting superplexed” and the corner run works this time around.

The ankle lock is reversed and the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. Eddie finally hits the frog splash but it’s only good for two. There’s the ankle lock again but Eddie rolls him out to the floor. With Kurt down, Eddie unlaces his boot. Angle looks up from the floor and you can see Eddie panic. The ankle lock goes on again and the boot comes off. Angle has to figure out what just happened and then charges right into a small package (with Guerrero’s feet in the ropes because he has to cheat) to retain Eddie’s title at 21:04.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with a very creative ending. These are two guys who need almost no instruction as they’re both so good that they can do whatever you ask of them and never expect anything less than greatness. The ending makes perfect sense too as Angle is all about polish and playing by the rules but Eddie changed how they were playing out there and caught Angle off his guard. Smart stuff, as Angle controlled when it was fair so Eddie cheated to retain, yet was somehow praised for it. Funny how that works sometimes.

Angle is FURIOUS.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Kane hated Undertaker for abandoning the dark side and becoming the biker so Kane helped Vince bury Undertaker alive at Survivor Series 2003. This brought back the Undertaker Kane wanted, but this Undertaker wanted revenge for being buried alive. People tend to do that at times.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Kane has a cool entrance where the set, which looks like the New York skyline, starts to burn as well. This is of course trumped by the return of Paul Bearer and the torch bearing druids. Undertaker debuts his singlet top look here which he would use for the rest of his career. His hair is still above his shoulders though so it’s a work in progress. Kane insists that Undertaker isn’t real and looks like he’s about to cry. He reaches out to see if he can touch Undertaker and gets punched in the jaw for it.

The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane out to the floor and Undertaker whips him into the apron. The apron legdrop keeps Kane in trouble but he counters the Last Ride with a backdrop. Unfortunately he doesn’t quite have his placement right and Undertaker has to put his hands out to keep himself from slamming face first into the ropes.

The top rope clothesline connects but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Kane escapes but misses a charge in the corner to set up Old School. It still doesn’t work at Wrestlemania though and Kane catches him by the throat for the chokeslam, causing him to celebrate early. Undertaker sits up and the fans know what’s coming. Kane tries a kick to the face and Undertaker gives him a look that makes Kane want to cry again. The jumping clothesline, a chokeslam where Undertaker loses the grip and the Tombstone make Undertaker 12-0 at 6:56.

Rating: D+. What did you think was going to happen here? This was a long way of saying the old Undertaker is back and that was best for everyone as the biker was long past it’s shelf life. It would take a LONG time to figure out how to use Undertaker again and it would be a rough year, but once they figured out the formula, Undertaker was gold all over again.

Side note: so was that stuff with Bischoff sending Coach to find Undertaker just to set up the Heenan/Okerlund bit? Sounds like a bit of overkill.

Backlash ad.

We recap the main event. HHH and Shawn Michaels had continued their never ending feud at the Royal Rumble where they tied in a last man standing match. Shawn said he needed one more shot and wanted it at Wrestlemania. That’s not how it works though because Chris Benoit had won the Royal Rumble and jumped to Raw for the title shot. Shawn didn’t accept this and superkicked Benoit before signing the contract himself (because that’s how contracts work). Austin, the co-boss of Raw at the time, make it a triple threat. There was really no reason for Shawn to be in this match and it really should have been one on one.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has big white boots for some reason this year. We get an old school weapons check and the fans are entirely behind Benoit. Benoit and Shawn fight over who gets to beat up HHH until Benoit tries a Crossface. HHH takes a breather on the floor until both guys are down for a bit and now it’s time to go after the challengers.

Shawn skins the cat and goes back to hammering on HHH. The high knee gets two for the champ but he has to knock Benoit back to the floor. Shawn baseball slides Benoit into HHH and takes them both down again with a moonsault press. All three get back in and Benoit has to break up a Pedigree to Shawn. Michaels is sent shoulder first into the post but the champ ties Benoit in the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn hard into him. It’s already time for the forearm and nipup but Benoit is ready for him and sends Shawn out to the floor.

The champ gets rolled with some Germans but Shawn crotches Benoit on top. Sweet Chin Music misses the champ and Shawn gets caught in a DDT. That earns HHH a Crossface until Shawn makes the save. Shawn actually tries a German on Benoit and the fans ROAR when Benoit reverses into a trio of them. The Swan Dive gets two on Shawn and all three are down. Benoit is knocked to the floor so we can get the Shawn vs. HHH quota out of the way. Sweet Chin Music is good for two with Benoit making a last second save.

All three head outside and you can hear the impending sounds of tables cracking. It’s back inside first though and Benoit is catapulted into the post to bust him open. The Crossface goes on again but HHH grabs the hand to stop the tap. They go outside again with Benoit’s shoulder meeting the steps and now it’s announcers’ table time. A double suplex puts Benoit through the table and Shawn’s blood is all over his chest.

So it’s HHH vs. Shawn again, which JR calls ten years in the making, even if HHH hasn’t worked here for nine years yet. JR is screaming for an EMT for Benoit as a cameraman gets taken out. HHH is whipped into the steps and the fans pick Shawn of their remaining options. The champion is busted too but a quick Pedigree puts both guys down. Somehow Benoit saves Shawn again before Michaels falls to the floor.

Benoit puts HHH in a Sharpshooter and pulls him back to the middle of the ring until Shawn superkicks Benoit down. JR’s voice is going quickly as all three are down again. Benoit dumps Shawn to the floor and counters the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH is almost out but he kicks backwards, only to have Benoit hold on and crank back on it right in the middle of the ring for the submission and the title at 24:07.

Rating: A+. Do you really have to ask here? This is the best triple threat match of all time with all three guys doing exactly what they needed to do as well as they could do it. It was really hard to believe that Benoit wasn’t going to win in the end but they came as close as they could have to make me think it might not happen. Outstanding match here and exactly how Benoit should have been put over on the grandest stage of them all in the main event of Wrestlemania. It doesn’t get bigger than that, period.

Benoit celebrates and here’s longtime friend Eddie Guerrero comes out to hug him as confetti falls to end the show.

The Vince dark room video and part of his speech take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: A-. Oh they were close with this one but there’s about an hour long stretch in the middle that goes from worthless to trying to cram too much in there to…..whatever Goldberg vs. Lesnar was to another lame Tag Team Title match and it really drags down what could have been one of the best of all time. I mean, did we need both Tag Team Title matches and the lingerie stuff? The appeal is obvious but this show needed a few more edits to get it down from FOUR AND A HALF HOURS.

Now that being said, you’re not going to find a better one two combination than Angle vs. Guerrero and the triple threat for a very long time and that’s more than enough to carry the show. Couple those matches with some other REALLY fun stuff like the Christian vs. Jericho match and a fun outing from Cena plus the great handicap match and you have a great show. If this was about forty five minutes shorter, it could be up there with XVII and XIX as one of the best ever. Unfortunately there’s too much clogging it up and that brings the show far lower than it should be. Watch it with a remote to fast forward and you’ll have a blast.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2015 Redo: F

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

That’s as close to identical as you’re going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Just like last year though, the Rock is in a match that is probably the real main event. After making even more movies, the Rock has gone Hollywood and become one of the most effective villains in a long time. With everything he’s accomplished though, there was one thing that had eluded him: defeating Steve Austin at Wrestlemania, which he would try one more time here. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely (Val Venis as a lackey to Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff) and Storm are defending. Storm’s original partner was William Regal but he had a heart condition and Morely named himself the new champion. The Dudley Boyz are in the champs’ corner because they’re stuck helping them to save their jobs. Van Dam and Kane are kind of an oddball team but they work well together. Storm goes after Kane to start and is quickly sent out to the floor with Morely following him. Van Dam loads up the dive but Kane does it instead and takes out Storm and Morely at the same time.

We take a break (remember this is on TV still) and come back with Morely chopping away at Van Dam as JR’s audio levels are all over the place. We hit the sleeper on Van Dam but he reverses into one of his own. That works as well as a sleeper is going to work for a good guy so Rob kicks Storm in the face and makes the tag off to Kane for some house cleaning. Kane’s top rope clothesline gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. The chokeslam plants Storm but Morely breaks up the Five Star. In the melee, the Dudleys 3D Storm….and then Bubba elbows Van Dam to give Storm the pin at 10:00.

Rating: C-. Now this one is confusing. Not the result of the match as the Dudleys were doing what they had to do, but the way the titles would change. Van Dam and Kane would win them the next night, which begs the question of why you wouldn’t do the change here for a feel good moment. Storm and Morely weren’t interesting champions so why would you keep the belts on them here?

Ashanti sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is similar to last year with big names talking about how big Wrestlemania is to them and every other wrestler in the world. This video is really similar to last year’s because a lot of the audio clips are the same, including one from Undertaker calling Wrestlemania a fever and one from Hogan talking about slamming Andre. You really can’t get something new recorded?

JR and Lawler are at a table away from ringside as they were every week on Raw.

The aisle is crooked again this year.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending with a completely new character called Version 1. He’s basically a self obsessed motivational speaker who believed in a philosophy called Mattitude, complete with Matt Facts (such as “Matt is appearing at his 4^th Wrestlemania” and “Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him.”) during his entrance and a Mattitude Follower (MF’er) named Shannon Moore. Mysterio begins his Wrestlemania tradition of wearing a superhero costume as he’s dressed like Daredevil.

Moore tries to distract Rey to start but Mysterio throws both of them to the floor and hits a big corkscrew dive. Back in and the Ricochet (a lifting side slam) gets two for the champ and Shannon gets in some more (Moore?) choking but Matt crotches himself on the ropes. The Side Effect gets two more though and we hit a double arm crank. The idea here is that Matt is barely beneath the Cruiserweight limit so he’s a good bit bigger and stronger than most wrestlers in the division.

Matt misses a charge into the post as Cole is trying to figure out what tea bagging means. A quick headscissors looks to set up the 619 but Moore makes the save, setting up Matt’s Twist of Fate for two. Rey goes to the ropes but gets caught in a bottom rope Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge into a powerbomb), only to reverse it with a hurricanrana for two. Now the 619 connects but Matt ducks the West Coast Pop. Rey tries a victory roll instead but Matt falls on top and grabs the rope to retain at 5:43.

Rating: C+. This was a simple idea and the match worked quite well. The Moore stuff makes good sense as it’s almost impossible to believe that Matt was going to be able to beat Rey in a cruiserweight match on his own. Matt cheating every way he could and then bragging about being the best cruiserweight of all time was classic heel mentality. I wouldn’t have minded this getting more time but it’s fine the way it is.

The Miller Lite catfight girls are here. These are your celebrities for the show as they were good looking women who would argue over various things and then fight over them.

We recap Undertaker’s partner Nathan Jones being laid out by Big Show and A-Train (Albert) on Heat. This potentially makes the match a handicap match instead of the announced tag, which was rumored to be due to Jones being so horrible that he couldn’t be trusted to have a match on live TV yet.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. A-Train and Big Show had been loosely associated since the beginning of the year so this made sense for a major show. Big Show tries to sneak up on Undertaker as A-Train is adjusting Undertaker’s mirror. You just don’t do that to a biker. As you might expect, a 500lb 7’2 monster isn’t very stealthy and Undertaker sends him to the floor before chokeslamming A-Train for two.

Things settle down and Undertaker leapfrogs (!) A-Train before scoring with Old School. The Derailer (chokebomb) plants Undertaker and it’s Big Show driving Undertaker back first into the post. The fans tell the very hairy A-Train to shave his back as Undertaker slugs away at both of them. A Fujiwara armbar has Show in trouble but A-Train makes the save, only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. This is an important shift in Undertaker as he was starting to become more of an MMA/power wrestler hybrid instead of using the big power style he had done for years. He would use the new style for the rest of his career.

Show hooks an abdominal stretch with A-Train pulling for additional help. A-Train puts on one of his own until Undertaker suplexes his way out. It’s time for right hands from Undertaker and A-Train is in way over his large head. A running DDT drops Show and it’s off to Show who gets pummeled as well. All three are in now and a bicycle kick drops Undertaker, setting up the chokeslam from Big Show. That should be enough but Show charges down the aisle to meet Nathan Jones who spin kicks him in the face. Back in and Jones boots A-Train in the face, setting up the Tombstone for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Jones doing the only thing he should have been doing. The guy was big and had a great look but at the end of the day you have to be able to do more than stare at someone and throw an awesome spin kick. Undertaker works well against monsters like Show and A-Train as can move better than both of them and the offense is fast enough to work.

Undertaker waves the American flag.

The catfight girls talk to Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson who are casually flipping through Torrie’s Playboy. They praise each other a bit and Stacy has a new marketing idea (she’s currently Test’s publicist and has named his fans Testicles). Production guy: “Great job guys! Let’s move on from there!”

We look back at the tag match on Heat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria (a borderline psycho later known as Tara in TNA) is defending here and has what I guess you would call her boyfriend Steven Richards with her. Jazz goes after Trish to start and puts on something like Austin Aries’ Last Chancery. Victoria’s save earns her a kick in the face and Trish comes back with forearms to Jazz’s face. Lawler wants the match to turn into a love triangle.

Victoria gets two off a slingshot legdrop and Jazz does the same. Well minus the slingshot that is. The villains start double teaming Trish with a double shoulder breaker. That ends their partnership so it’s Trish back in with a rollup for two on Trish, who Lawler calls a quarter among pennies. JR: “….what does that mean?” Jazz kicks Victoria in the face by mistake and Trish does the same to Jazz for two.

That’s enough for Jazz as she sends Victoria to the floor and puts Trish in an STF. Richards makes a quick save to protect the title so Trish grabs a rollup on Victoria, pulling her tights partially down in the process. Lawler’s thrills continue as Jazz gives Trish a double chicken wing, only to get sent outside. It’s Richards coming in again but he chairs himself and gets bulldogged, allowing Trish to kick Victoria in the chest for the pin and the title at 7:17.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here again with all three working hard and not being stuck in a death slot. Trish has proven that she can hang with anyone in the division and may be better than anyone has seen in a long time. This worked better than last year’s match as two heels often work better than two heroes and that’s exactly what happened here. You could really see how much Trish has grown as a worker in this one.

Rock doesn’t want to hear from the people because they booed Rock last year at Wrestlemania. After everything he’s done, this is the last chance he’ll have to beat Steve Austin one time at Wrestlemania. Not being able to beat Austin is consuming him but since he’s been in Hollywood, he’s learned that people only remember act three. Tonight he’s beating Austin so he can say he’s done it all.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle

Team Angle (Kurt’s very talented enforcers/lackeys Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) are defending and this is one fall to a finish. The Smackdown Tag Team Titles were a major highlight in late 2002 and this has potential to be good. Everyone goes at it to start until it’s Chavo and Haas to get things going with Chavo scoring with a suplex and dropkick.

Eddie comes in with a slingshot hilo and you can really see how much he’s matured in recent years. It’s off to Rhyno to face Eddie with the power guy throwing Eddie in to the corner for a tag off to Shelton. Tazz is talking about dissecting lizards for no apparent reason until Benoit German suplexes Haas for two. It’s back to Eddie who gets caught in Benoit and Rhyno’s corner for a double teaming.

Chris superplexes him down for two but Eddie comes back with some suplexes into a brainbuster. Control keeps changing here but there isn’t much of a story going on. Chavo gets the tag but Benoit rolls some German suplexes. Everything breaks down and Shelton superkicks Benoit before dropping a leg for two. Eddie makes the save with a frog splash and Rhyno Gores Haas. A second Gore hits Chavo but Shelton grabs the pin to retain at 8:46.

Rating: C+. Another fun match but for a different reason. As was the case on Smackdown at this point, this was all about the action and a fast pace which worked very well, especially given the wrestlers the roster had. This was a nice change from the earlier matches and entertained throughout.

The catfight girls get in a fight about whether Mr. McMahon or Hulk “Holgan” made Wrestlemania what it is. Their solution: settle it in bed. You can imagine Lawler’s response.

We have about two hours and forty five minutes to go and five matches left on the card. More on this later but it’s going to be a stacked rest of the show.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Michaels made an amazing return to the ring in late 2002 and is starting to come back full time. Jericho was happy at first because he had always wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but realized it would be better to be the first Chris Jericho. What better way to do that than to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania? Shawn didn’t accept the challenge at first but one week Jericho was going through the curtain and got knocked backwards by a superkick. Shawn came out and knelt over him, saying he would see Jericho at Wrestlemania.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Shawn has some confetti cannons to launch but some of them won’t go off. Feeling out process to start as Shawn’s headscissors doesn’t get him anywhere. Instead Shawn lays on the top rope because Jericho is boring him. Jericho tries to take him down but Shawn kicks him away and it’s another stalemate. With nothing else working it’s time to start punching with Shawn knocking Jericho out to the floor.

Back in and Jericho starts throwing more right hands but his bulldog is broken up, allowing Shawn to put on a Figure Four. It’s way too early for that though so Chris sends him shoulder first into the post. Back up and Shawn has to skin the cat, allowing him to headscissor Jericho back to the floor. A plancha takes Jericho down but he puts on the Walls in the aisle.

They’re already trading bigger shots and the match is at a nice pace to start. Shawn’s bad back is sent into the post as Lawler explains the idea of a young lion challenging the elder of the pack. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back for a bit before Jericho hits Shawn with his own forearm into the nipup. As Chris poses, Shawn nips up as well and hits his own forearm. A pinfall reversal sequence gets some quick two counts and Jericho gets a longer near fall off the Lionsault.

With nothing else working, Jericho puts on the Walls of Jericho but Shawn is quickly in the ropes. Jericho keeps up the psychology with a backbreaker and keeps up the story of the match with his own Sweet Chin Music for a very close two. With almost nothing else working, Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but gets countered into a cross body for two of his own.

The top rope elbow means it’s time for the real comeback but the Chin Music is reversed into the Walls. The ropes are reached again but Jericho charges straight into the superkick. Jericho kicks out AGAIN and the fans gasp. Back up and Shawn counters a belly to back into a victory roll for the surprise pin at 22:34.

Rating: A. This is the match where it was clear that Shawn was back and back for good. It felt like 1995 again and Shawn was one of the best in the world, able to hang with anyone they put him out there again. Jericho looked like a star as well and there’s a case that he should have won. Shawn needed a win to reestablish himself in matches like this but Jericho needed it just as much. Still though, it’s an absolute classic.

They shake hands post match but Jericho kicks him low like a real villain.

Crooked referee Sylvan Grenier (who screwed Hogan out of his rematch with Rock the previous month) goes in to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit performs the show’s theme song: Crack Addict. As you might guess, this name was never mentioned on WWE TV leading up to the show. This is such a waste of time and there’s little other way to describe it.

Wrestlemania XX is in New York.

Cole and Tazz remember that they’re here and talk about Wrestlemania XX a bit. Limp Bizkit gets a thank you as well.

The catfight girls come out for their fight in bed (on the stage, meaning a good chunk of the stadium can barely see them. Stacy and Torrie come out to join them, they fight, clothing is removed, and Coach gets pantsed and pinned. Did I mention it’s been twelve minutes since the last match ended?

We recap Booker T. vs. HHH for the Raw World Title, which is the feud that was about racism but they didn’t actually say it was about racism. Booker won a battle royal for a shot at the title but then HHH started saying that “someone like Booker” didn’t get to win the World Title. The idea would eventually be presented as someone who grew up poor and had been in prison but make no mistake about it: it sounded like racism.

Raw World Title: Booker T. vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him as part of Evolution. He also has his special purple trunks instead of the normal black. Booker gets the better of it to start and armdrags HHH off the middle rope. JR rips on the Fink for being drunk last night as Booker is backdropped to the apron and send into the post. A neckbreaker and spinebuster get two each for the champ and he cuts off Booker’s comeback with a DDT.

Lawler stays on Booker being an ex-con and JR almost does some very bad swearing. We hit the sleeper, which HHH tried as hard as he could to get over as a finisher. Booker will have none of that so it’s a jumping knee to the face instead. For some reason HHH goes to the middle rope for an ax handle but Booker nails him square in the jaw with a jumping side kick.

The scissors kick only hits the ropes though and Flair drops him knee first onto the steps to take over. Off to an old (as in very old, like Harley Race old) school Indian Deathlock from the champ to keep the crowd from being interested. This is one of the many problems from HHH at this point: he kept trying to be Harley Race without realizing that the fans got more bored than angry at him. That worked for Race, not HHH trying to be Race. It didn’t help that he held the title forever and the fans were waiting on the same endings he always used to hold onto it. That’s a very dangerous formula and it went on far too long.

The hold is finally broken up and Booker rolls through a knee crusher into a sunset flip for two. The referee gets almost gets crushed but thankfully stays up to see Booker score with the scissors kick. Booker goes up top and shoves Flair down so he can hit the Houston Hangover (top rope flip legdrop), only to bang up his knee even worse. That means it’s Pedigree time and twenty five seconds later, HHH puts a single hand over Booker to retain at 18:45. Booker’s eyes were open when he pushed himself over so HHH could cover him.

Rating: D+. The match is your standard HHH formula for the time: slow, dull, and the completely wrong ending. This should have been HHH dropping the title to Booker to break up his nine month long reign before he had to lose it to Goldberg later. Instead of losing it here and winning it back in a month, HHH wins again to put Booker WAY in the back of the line as a big choker. Such is life in 2003 though and the fans were absolutely sick of it. It would take another year before this would really change, and even then it didn’t quite work.

We recap Hogan vs. McMahon. This is another feud that really didn’t need to happen but we got it anyway because that’s what they decided was going to happen. It turned into a feud about who made Wrestlemania and/or Hulkamania and then the steroids trial of the early 90s where Hogan testified against Vince. This could go anywhere between a disaster and hilarious fun but it should be easy to figure out which is more likely.

Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk’s career is on the line and it’s a street fight. For reasons that still aren’t clear to me to this day, Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child instead of Real American. Vince slaps him in the face so Hogan spears him down to start, meaning they’re in for a real brawl here. Hogan throws his bandana at him and stomps away in the corner to Vince hits him low. We’re treated to some lame attempts at wrestling with Vince working on the arm. Well it’s better than Jay Leno in 1998.

Ever the cocky one, Vince tries a test of strength but he’s actually smart enough to kick Hogan in the ribs to take over. The hold stays on to eat up a long stretch until Vince finally throws him out to the floor. We get to the street fight part as Vince grabs a chair but he hits the post by mistake. Instead Hulk blasts Vince in the head and we’ve got a very busted open boss. It’s time for a fresh chair to go over Vince’s back but Hogan knocks out Spanish commentator Hugo Savinovich by mistake (I never liked him anyway).

Vince comes back with a chair shot of his own….and here’s a ladder. Oh geez this is going to be bad. Hulk takes a monitor to the head and Vince loads up the announcers’ table. The boss climbs up and does the Hogan hand to the ear, followed by a huge legdrop (close enough at least) to put Hogan through the table. That really doesn’t get as big of a reaction as you would expect. We FINALLY get some help for Hugo as Vince throws Hulk inside for two.

Vince heads to the floor and grabs a steel pipe from the floor. He very slowly leers over the apron with a look on his face that is a perfect mix of evil and hilariously stupid. Only Vince could pull that off. Hogan hits him low to survive……and hokey smoke Roddy Piper is here. Looking like he’s eaten Scotland, Piper picks up the pipe, spits on both guys and hits Hogan.

Piper leaves as Vince gets a slow two. Vince goes for the pipe but the referee takes it away, earning him a trip to the floor. Cue Sylvan Grenier to take over as referee as Vince hits Hogan with the pipe again. There’s a legdrop to Hogan and it’s Hulk Up time. Grenier takes a beating of his own and the usual (with three legdrops) puts Vince away at an insane 20:49.

Rating: D+. Heaven help me but I liked this. You have to know what you’re getting here but at least they did enough entertaining stuff. Vince is always good for a garbage street fight when you need one and Hogan is Hogan. It’s definitely not high quality or anything but it’s a fun guilty pleasure as long as you remember that it’s terrible and just have fun with it.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on his dad. Ever the evil loser, Vince flips Hogan off.

We recap Austin vs. Rock. Last June, Austin walked out on the company but came back for one last quick run (he had three matches, two of which were against Eric Bischoff) and one last showdown with Rock at Wrestlemania. This gets the music video treatment, again with Crack Addict. You can see that a lot of the fire is out of Austin at this point and it’s kind of sad to see.

Austin was actually in the hospital the night before this due to his body breaking down from stress and WAY too many energy drinks, meaning he almost couldn’t wrestle this match. He really shouldn’t be out there but he refused to cancel the match. This might have even gone on last otherwise, which would have made a lot more sense.

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

We get the ultra cool Hollywood Rock entrance of a helicopter flying through Los Angeles until Rock’s voice finally says “is cookin.” To go from the superhero that he was to the best version of this persona ever is a showcase of how great Rock really was. Austin looks WAY off here so this is pretty much all up to Rock. Rock loses a slugout and the threat of a Stunner sends him to the floor.

Austin follows him out and hammers away before just ripping at Rock’s face back inside. The brawling continues as they go back to the floor with Rock going after Austin’s heavily braced knees. Lawler: “That brace is made of metal!” JR: “Well what would you make a knee brace out of?” The bad leg (well one of them anyway) goes around the post and Rock kicks Austin in the leg to stop a comeback. Rock puts on the Sharpshooter until Austin makes the ropes, so why not put on Austin’s vest.

That’s too much for Austin so he comes back, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. The real comeback includes the Thesz press and middle finger elbow. Rock scores with a running clothesline into a nipup of his own, only to walk into a Rock Bottom from Austin. As you might expect, Rock comes right back with a Stunner) and still manages to talk trash as he tries to get up.

Now it’s Rock hammering away but Austin grabs a Stunner out of nowhere for two. You knew it was going to take more than one. The referee takes an elbow to the face, allowing Rock to get in a low blow. He finally takes off Austin’s vest and drops the People’s Elbow for two. A Rock Bottom plants Austin for two and the fans are shocked. The second Rock Bottom gets the same and Rock’s frustration sets back in. A third Rock Bottom finally puts Austin away at 17:56.

Rating: B+. Much like five years ago with Michaels, you have to consider Austin’s condition when you think about this match. Austin was barely able to walk out there and he had one heck of a match. That being said, this was ALL Rock as he had to carry the match, meaning it’s not quite as good as their previous stuff. It’s still really entertaining though and a great way to end maybe the best main event rivalry of all time.

Rock stays next to Austin for a minute and says “I love you and thank you for everything.” Austin has to walk to the back with Earl Hebner but stops to toast the fans one more time. This was Austin’s retirement match and that’s the best idea all around. You could see that it was slipping from him (again, mainly due to the neck) so it was good that he went out while he could still have a great one.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Brock had lost the title due to Paul Heyman turning on him late last year and Angle took the title from new champion Big Show. Lesnar won the Royal Rumble to get another shot, but Angle is in horrible shape coming into this due to his neck flaring up as well. This is being set up as a major showdown between the most real wrestlers in the company and the intensity is all there.

There was a very real chance that they were going to have to swap someone else in (possibly Chris Benoit) if Kurt couldn’t go but he somehow got cleared to wrestle here before taking some time off. There was even another title match scheduled on Smackdown to change the title but Angle held the belt by changing places with his brother Eric.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Angle is defending but he loses the title if anyone interferes. Kurt has that awesome red jacket with the hood on the way to the ring. You can hear Cole’s voice almost out from shouting so much. Brock, with some lightly taped up ribs, comes out second and as Tazz puts it: “Well, here comes the pain.” They get technical to start with Angle getting the better of it, complete with an uppercut to the jaw. Brock finally brings in the strength with a powerslam but Kurt snaps off a German to stay on the ribs.

Lesnar pops right back up with a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”), only to have Angle German suplex him into the corner. Off to something like an STF on Brock and Tazz is actually on fire with the analysis and throwing out move names. Brock finally turns it over into a rear naked choke before just pulling back on the throat. The hold is finally broken so Kurt throws him with a belly to belly. That’s fine with Brock who plants the champion with a spinebuster, only to hurt the ribs again in the process.

It’s Brock’s turn for a high angle belly to belly and a second is good for two. Kurt comes back with some more Germans but neither guy can hit their finisher. Instead Kurt trips Brock to the mat and puts on the ankle lock, which is one of my biggest annoyances. He’s worked on the ribs all match but goes for a completely different body part because that’s his hold. Thankfully he switches it over to a half crab to stay on the ribs. It isn’t likely to get a submission but it can soften Brock up for something else that could beat him.

Back up and Brock sends him the floor before firing off some shoulders into the spine. That earns him a release German suplex for two and an Angle Slam for the same. The F5 gets two more but Kurt grabs the ankle lock, complete with the grapevine. Brock crawls over to the ropes, becoming the first man to survive the grapevine version. Another Angle Slam is countered into another F5 but Brock doesn’t cover.

Instead he looks to the top rope and smiles. Brock goes up top and tries a shooting star press but leaves it WAY short (To be fair, Angle was over halfway across the ring. No one could pull it off from that far away, though Brock has hit the move before so it wasn’t as crazy as it sounds) and lands square on his head in an absolutely terrifying spot. Brock looks like he’s on another planet (probably because he is) but still hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:08.

Rating: B+. This is a good match but as is so often the case with either guy, the suplexes get repetitive. The ending really hurts it too but the match is a classic if the shooting star connects. It would have blown the fans away but instead it was a scary landing, which really can’t be blamed on Brock as Angle was too far away (not his fault either). Really good match but it’s a step beneath some others.

The look on Brock’s face is really scary as he’s clearly gone. They shake hands and the highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. If you tweak a few things here, this is in the running for the greatest show of all time. However, stuff like the musical performances and the Miller Lite girls really hold things back. Hogan vs. Vince isn’t as good as the Shane vs. Vince match from two years ago but it’s fun in a different way.

The show is still great though and could have been better if they had swapped the card a bit. The five major matches in a row needed to be broken up a little bit, maybe with the Undertaker match moved in between Vince vs. Hogan and Rock vs. Austin, which probably should have gone last. All of the problems (which are minor) aside though, this is still a great show and one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time.

Ratings Comparison

Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A

HHH vs. Booker T

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

Everything seems about the same here, though that women’s match keeps growing on me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/26/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-19-overrated/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/28/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xix/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 27, 2018
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’ve got two episodes of Smackdown Live left to go before Wrestlemania XXXIV and that means two episodes featuring Daniel Bryan. It’s not clear what he’s going to be doing in New Orleans but if the Shane McMahon health issues are true, a lot of things could be up in the air. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Before we get started, Happy Birthday Pop (the aforementioned Tony).

We open with a recap of Bryan’s announcement last week. That’s the most emotional moment WWE has had in a long time.

Bobby Roode/Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal/Sunil Singh

And hang on as Singh’s arm is banged up after Roode and Orton attacked him last week. Mahal has a replacement though.

Bobby Roode/Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal/Rusev

Mahal takes Roode into the corner to start as Orton still has his vest on. Roode elbows everyone down but Singh gets on the apron, earning himself a whip into the barricade. The vest comes off and we take a break. Back with Orton working Rusev over in the corner until a kick to the head rocks Orton again. The evil foreigners take turns stomping on Orton and it’s a chinlock from Mahal. Orton suplexes his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Roode for the usual.

Roode’s spinebuster gets two on Mahal as Orton is calmly watching Roode deal with both of them. Mahal takes Roode down again and we take another break. Back with Roode fighting out of a chinlock but eating a jumping knee to the face to keep him down. Rusev’s chinlock has as much success and Roode starts his comeback but Orton tags himself in. The snap powerslam drops Rusev but everything breaks down with Roode hitting Orton by mistake. That earns him an RKO but the Machka Kick ends Orton at 18:26.

Rating: C. This was more long than good, though certainly not terrible. Hopefully this adds Rusev to the title match and gives us a little payoff for all of the RUSEV DAY stuff. It’s not the best thing in the world but at least there’s a logical reason to get us to the next match. That being said, I wish there was another way to get us there other than the champion getting pinned. But hey, that might require thought.

Post break an excited Mahal offers Rusev and Aiden English front row tickets to Wrestlemania. Rusev has another idea though: a spot in the US Title match. Mahal is no longer happy.

Shinsuke Nakamura comes in to see AJ Styles and says he helped him last week to keep AJ strong for Wrestlemania. Nakamura has Shelton Benjamin tonight and wants AJ in his corner. Styles agrees to protect the dream match.

Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott

Becky wastes no time in knocking Riott to the floor but an argument with the Squad allows Ruby to run her over. Back in and Ruby cranks on Becky’s arms but gets taken down by a forearm. Becky scores with the clotheslines until Ruby pulls her off the ropes. The rollup is called off due to feet on the ropes but the Riott Kick is blocked. Ruby is whipped into Logan and a rollup gives Becky the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here but Becky came off like a star, as always. I know Charlotte and Asuka are bigger deals and bigger stars, but they’re crazy if they don’t do something with Becky in the near future. The Squad continues to be the punching bags for the big names in the division, but at least they’re around to keep things moving.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat on the stage. He loves being in Pittsburgh because he’s cleared to be back in the ring. However, tonight he has a job to do as General Manager. Bryan is willing to give Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn one more chance: in a tag match against Shane McMahon and himself at Wrestlemania. Shane should be back in time for Wrestlemania, so we have some stipulations. If Owens and Zayn lose, they stay fired. If they win, they’re back on Smackdown Live.

Bryan talks about opportunities, like the ones he’s given Owens and Zayn. He’s given them those opportunities because the two of them have always been there for him, whether it’s as a partner or if he needed a bed to sleep in. Bryan has a bunch of responsibilities as General Manager like going to meetings, filling out paperwork and wearing these blazers (CM Punk would not approve).

He’s sick of all of them because he fought for three years to get this spot. Owens and Zayn have held him back and now, it’s time for him to fight at Wrestlemania. Bryan goes on a rant about how this isn’t the Bryan on a disabled list or the General Manager. This is the Bryan coming to Wrestlemania to take out Owens and Zayn.

Here’s New Day for a chat before their match. Their path to Wrestlemania was so clear that they had put New Orleans in their GPS. But it turns out that the Road to Wrestlemania was bludgeoned with horribly ugly trash. They’re willing to adopt that highway though and clean up the Road to Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers

Joined in progress with Rowan cranking on Woods’ arm. Woods is thrown around with ease and Kofi gets beaten down as well, albeit this time on the outside. Not that it matters as the Usos come in to jump the Brothers for the DQ at 1:54.

Zayn and Owens have accepted the challenge.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Video on Charlotte vs. Asuka.

Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

They’re both in the Andre battle royal. Fandango gets on the apron for a dance so Ziggler dropkicks Breeze down. It’s time to run laps so Breeze’s superkick only gets two. They trade rollups for two each but the Zig Zag ends Breeze at 2:10.

At Wrestlemania, the Usos defend against New Day and the Bludgeon Brothers.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

AJ and Chad Gable are the seconds. Nakamura starts with the knee to the ribs and Good Vibrations puts Benjamin on the floor as we take an early break. Back with Shelton holding Nakamura in a chinlock with a grapevine until Nakamura fights up. Kinshasa is loaded up but Gable offers a distraction, allowing Shelton to get two off a northern lights suplex. Paydirt is countered into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. Benjamin powers out but gets kneed down, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C. Shelton isn’t as good as he used to be but he’s still more than good enough to hold his own. Nakamura getting wins like this helps, but couldn’t he be beating some bigger names? Was Baron Corbin off getting new hair grease this week? Or was Ziggler too busy cutting the same promo over and over again? At least act like it’s a bigger deal.

Post match Nakamura says he brought AJ out here to show him how the match is going at Wrestlemania. AJ calls that playing games because Wrestlemania is a dream match for him too. His dream match ends a little differently though, like with AJ walking out as the undisputed best in the world. Nakamura laughs and says he’ll win because AJ is too emotional. Shinsuke leaves so Benjamin and Gable jump AJ with Nakamura making the save. Kinshasa is loaded up again but Nakamura stops in time, reaches to AJ’s heart, and puts it in his chest pocket to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m more excited for Wrestlemania tonight than I was coming in and that’s an accomplishment. They added two matches tonight and put someone else in a third, giving us all but Undertaker vs. Cena confirmed. You know, for those of you who need a fourteen match Wrestlemania. The wrestling was passable here, but the storytelling is what matters most and Bryan being back in the ring is all you could have wanted from this show. Good stuff tonight and the road to Wrestlemania is getting shorter and shorter.

Results

Rusev/Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton/Bobby Roode – Machka Kick to Orton

Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Rollup

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day via DQ when the Usos interfered

Dolph Ziggler b. Tyler Breeze – Zig Zag

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Shelton Benjamin – Kinshasa

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6