Mixed Match Challenge Episode #1
Date: January 16, 2018
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Beth Phoenix

This is a new concept for WWE as they’re airing on Facebook for the first time ever. In this case we have a tournament of mixed matches with the winners earning money for a charity. There will be twelve episodes with twelve teams vying for the money with one match a week. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

No opening sequence here, which is quite the jarring difference.

Renee Young and Byron Saxton are on the floor as hosts.

We get quick vignettes from both teams, basically saying they’re going to win. They’re definitely assuming you’ve watched WWE before so this definitely isn’t treating the fans like a new audience.

We get some rapid fire vignettes from other teams, including Carmella eating pancakes and Nia Jax being presented with some lucky underwear.

First Round: Finn Balor/Sasha Banks vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Natalya

Nakamura has an old Jim Neidhart Hart Foundation jacket, complete with the big shoulders. The women start things off and Natalya bails into the corner. It’s quickly off to the men and Phoenix is already coming off as the best analyst WWE has had in years. They fight over a technical sequence and it’s an early standoff as they’re playing this as even. Neither can get much control off an armbar so Nakamura tells him to COME ON.

That means another standoff and Balor throws up the Too Sweet sign. The women come in again and Sasha hits her pose before slapping Natalya in the face. Something like an atomic drop and a basement dropkick give Natalya two but Banks is right back with the double knees in the corner (haven’t seen that one in awhile). Natalya bails to the floor so Sasha dives onto…Nakamura, who calmly puts her back on the apron. The second dive takes Natalya down but Sasha walks into the discus forearm, followed by the chinlock.

Hang on a second though as we need to look at Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch talking about the show. We hit the abdominal stretch with Natalya lifting the foot off the mat for some bonus pressure. Eh she’s a Hart so she should know this stuff. Sasha flips her away without too much effort and brings Balor back in to speed things back up.

Nakamura kicks Balor in the head though and hits the running knee for two. Kinshasa is countered with the Sling Blade but Natalya breaks up the Coup de Grace. Sasha throws Natalya outside but Kinshasa is countered again, this time with Nakamura being sent into the post. Stereo basement dropkicks set up the Bank Statement to make Natalya tap at 12:48.

Rating: C. And that’s the problem: there’s no real animosity here and they’re just having matches for the sake of having a match. It doesn’t help that it’s not exactly a thrilling concept and the match wasn’t anything we haven’t seen done better before. Balor and Banks winning makes sense as they’re a more popular combination, mainly because Banks actually has some charisma.

Next week: Big E./Carmella vs. Asuka/The Miz.

New Day is fired up and Carmella is in a washing machine.

Miz speaks English and Asuka shouts in Japanese before they both speak English (BECAUSE ASUKA CAN FREAKING SPEAK ENGLISH!).

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, but I’m not sure how long of a shelf life this is going to have. It’s not the most thrilling thing in the world, though there might be some interesting matches going on later in the brackets. The fact that it’s only about twenty five minutes an episode will do it A LOT of favors though as it’s more like something to do on Tuesday instead of something really important. Not bad, but totally skippable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 16, 2018
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

Please be better. The last few weeks haven’t been kind to Smackdown and I really could use a good episode to change things up a bit. The problem continues to be Daniel Bryan vs. Shane McMahon, which has dominated the show so strongly that it’s taking away from a lot of the other stories. Hopefully that starts to change tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the New Day for an opening chat. Woods brings out the pancakes and stands behind a podium as all three do the tongue roll to announce Jinder Mahal’s Maharajah nickname. See, America is like a bunch of pancakes: made of flour, eggs and freedom. America is built up like Home Alone 1, 2 and 3. Big E: “Not so much with 3.” Woods talks about Jinder hating Home Alone and hating every one of you. The fans are against Jinder but the Singh Brothers come out to introduce Mahal.

US Title Tournament Semifinals: Jinder Mahal vs. Xavier Woods

The finals will now be next week instead of at the Royal Rumble. Mahal kicks him in the face to start and elbows a charging Woods in the jaw. A jumping knee gets two and we take a break. Back with Jinder holding him in a chinlock and Big E. throwing pancakes at the Singh Brothers. The fans want pancakes as Jinder forearms Woods down to the floor. Back in and a knee to the head gets two as we take a second break.

We come back again with Woods hitting a missile dropkick and winning a slugout (with those AMERICAN right hands). A discus punch drops Mahal and a Shining Wizard gets two. New Day goes after the Singh Brothers and chases the up the aisle, leaving us one on one. The top rope elbow misses though and Woods is whipped throat first into the bottom rope (kind of a dangerous move). The Khallas sends Mahal to the finals at 18:02.

Rating: D+. Well why go with the interesting choice when you can go with the boring choice? This more or less seals Roode vs. Mahal for the title next week and that’s…not the most interesting sounding match in the world. Woods’ pre-match promo was great and Mahal was every bit of Mahal you would have expected. Mahal winning was the pretty obvious choice, though certainly not the fun one.

At a house show, Baron Corbin talked about knowing he’ll win the Royal Rumble because it’s just a fight and that’s what he does best. Corbin was announced as being in the match two weeks ago.

Quick look at the media talking about Goldberg’s Hall of Fame induction.

AJ Styles dubs Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens as Kami and says he sees himself as being down 3-1 because Owens is like two people.

Carmella knows how to make history so she’ll win the Rumble.

Natalya has the catlike reflexes to win. She says Bret’s catchphrase for the second time tonight (after a Mixed Match Challenge promo).

Tamina says she’ll win.

Lana promises to make it the Ravishing Rumble.

Naomi is going to make everyone feel the Glow.

Riott knows how to create chaos and no one can stop her.

Sarah Logan isn’t running from anything.

Liv Morgan is here to make history so she’ll do it at the Rumble.

Becky Lynch promises to win. These were like the old school Rumble promos (save for the camera being hand held and a bit shaky, making them look kind of bad) and that’s a very good thing, even if most of the women didn’t have much to say.

US Title Tournament Semifinals: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

I’m still getting used to Mojo’s new music and Jackson Pollack inspired entrance video. Roode shoves him around to start and hits the GLORIOUS pose. Back up and Mojo runs through Roode and complains at the referee for getting in his way. They head outside with Mojo hitting a long running charge to drive Roode into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Mojo putting on a pretty bad looking abdominal stretch, though he does hit Roode in the ribs a few times.

Mojo asks Roode if he’s cracked a rib before hammering at said ribs. That’s rather cruel of him. Back up and Mojo misses a charge into the post, allowing Roode to hit the Blockbuster for two. The Glorious DDT is countered into a fireman’s carry faceplant (basically an F5 without the spin) for two. The running punch in the corner is blocked with some raised boots and Roode grabs the spinebuster. Roode hits the Glorious DDT to go to the finals at 13:13.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be and there was no drama after Mahal won earlier. Roode vs. Mahal isn’t an interesting title match but that’s never stopped them before. For the life of me I’m still not sure what the point was in giving the title to Ziggler in the first place but at least they’re giving us a new champion fast enough.

Post match the Singh Brothers come in to beat on Roode but are dispatched fairly quickly. Mahal comes out to say he’ll be champion next week. Roode wants to fight now and we get the standard heel response. You know, because why would Mahal want to face a banged up Roode who just finished a long match? Daniel Bryan pops up from behind and says the finals are on TONIGHT.

Randy Orton, in a ring in an empty arena, likes to be surrounded by chaos, so the Rumble is his match.

Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Riott Squad

Charlotte suplexes Morgan for two to start and does her Figure Four neck lock flips to Riott. The Squad gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with Lynch being sent into Morgan’s knees for two and Liv grabbing the hair to cut off a hot tag attempt. Becky finally dives over and brings in Naomi to speed things up. The spear cuts Logan down but Riott kicks Naomi into the one kneed Codebreaker for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: D+. Another instance of throwing the women out there with nothing interesting happening. It feels like we’ve seen this match or some combination of it for months now and that’s the big problem with this division: almost no one gets to stand out to the point where I can’t even remember that Charlotte is Women’s Champion more often than not. I know the Rumble is what matters but if I don’t care about the characters, it really doesn’t make much of a difference.

The Usos think Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin got together on Tag Team Tinder. They can’t remember which Uso is which though and get beaten down by Gable and Benjamin. Chad knows who they are: the former champions.

Long video on AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens.

Shinsuke Nakamura says he’ll win. Is there a reason none of the big wrestlers are actually here tonight?

Next week: Rusev Day vs. Ascension.

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal

The title is vacant coming in, Roode’s ribs are banged up, there are no Singh Brothers and Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan are at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Mahal’s cheap shot to the ribs being cut off. They head outside with Mahal driving the bad ribs into the barricade and getting in a few more shots as we take a break.

Back with Mahal bending the ribs around the post and then slapping on an abdominal stretch (take notes Mojo). Some knees to the ribs keep Roode down and Mahal puts a knee in the back. You can’t fault the psychology here but you can fault the fans being dead bored after this lame show.

Roode gets two off a sunset flip but a superkick gives Mahal the same to keep him in control. Bobby finally sends him outside for a clothesline from the apron as the crowd is just gone here. Back in and Mahal rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by a Blockbuster for the same. Roode’s spinebuster plants Mahal again and the Khallas is reversed into the Glorious DDT to make Roode the champion at 15:44.

Rating: C. This was as exciting as Mahal working the ribs for about thirteen minutes was going to be. Roode winning was the only way they could go here with the story they were telling though and it’s nice to see Mahal fall further down the card. This win gives Roode a big marquee thing on his resume, though you can probably pencil him in for a defense against Ziggler at the Rumble. The match was watchable, but they had killed the show a long time before.

The bosses present Roode with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh just no in every sense of the word. This was a great illustration of everything wrong with Smackdown as of late, with the focus completely missing and no reason to watch. You think the low attendances of late might have been bolstered by guaranteeing you get to see a new champion? Not happening here of course, because we need to do something like this instead with almost no big name talent appearing instead.

This show felt like they weren’t trying at all, presumably (and hopefully) because Smackdown was having another show somewhere else. Even if that’s the case though, there needs to be some kind of effort put into these shows. This came off like the C level house shows of the 80s with anything they could come up with thrown out there to fill in a night. I stopped caring very quickly into this one and that’s not good when it’s supposed to be a big time for the company.

Results

Jinder Mahal b. Xavier Woods – Khallas

Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT

Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi – Codebreaker to Naomi

Bobby Roode b. Jinder Mahal – Glorious DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

That’s an upgrade.

One of the fun things to do in wrestling is look back and see who wasn’t such a big deal back in the day but then got better over the course of time. In this case we’re looking at the improvement over the course of a year, in which there were a lot of names who got far better than you would have expected from them.

As is so often the case, we’ll start down in NXT where they grow stars like few other places. One such star is Lars Sullivan, who came from practically nowhere and turned into one of the best monsters the show has ever seen. Throw him out there as a monster and let him run people over while showing no fear and no pain. It’s a story that has worked for years and there’s no reason Sullivan can’t pull it off exceedingly well.

Sticking in NXT (that might be a theme today), we have the current NXT Champion Andrade Cien Almas. Now this one might be a lot more about Zelina Vega being amazing and one of the best managers in a long time but Almas himself has turned into quite the act as well. He’s gone from someone who looked to be a lost cause to being someone who is a top star in the promotion and looking like a legitimate big deal. They have a good act together and one that looks like it could work for a very long time.

We might as well knock off the other NXT option with someone who shocked the heck out of me. Velveteen Dream looked like he was going to be any other effeminate character but wound up being not only a solid in-ring performer but one heck of a character who is almost mesmerizing to watch. His feud with Aleister Black was a major high spot but it was also the only major thing he did all year. Still though, one great thing is more than most people get in any given year.

We’ll head up to the main roster now with someone who didn’t do much in NXT but has found his calling in WWE. In this case we have Elias, who sings a song about every city he’s in and manages to get the fans to hate him every single week. It works like a charm and the in-ring work has been quite good as well. Elias might not be a top star but he’s a solid midcard hand and there’s nothing wrong with doing that for a long time.

Next up is someone who I had pegged to win this for a good chunk of the year with Neville. He was always talented and one of the better cruiserweights on the roster but the King of the Cruiserweights character was something fresh and new which made him feel so much better in a hurry. It’s a shame that he left the company under such bad circumstances but hopefully he’ll be back and no longer jobbing to Enzo.

Finally though, and this isn’t much of a surprise, we have Braun Strowman. Where do you even begin with the year this guy had? Strowman came into 2017 as just another strong man and came out as a fan favorite and someone you could see winning the World Title at some point in the near future. To take a fairly one note gimmick and knock it so far out of the park like Strowman has is quite the accomplishment and I’m looking forward to seeing just how far he can take it. Starting where he was back at the beginning of 2017 is all the more impressive, making him the most improved wrestler of the year.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/breaking-confirmation-ricochet-mann/

So yeah, you knew this one was coming sooner or later.  RIcochet is one of the best high fliers in the world and at just under thirty years old, there’s no reason to not come to the big show.  He’s had some success in New Japan so now it’s time to go to WWE and see what he can do.  Of course it’s in NXT first (as it should be), but I’m a bit scared of what we might be seeing over in WWE.  That being said, Ricochet has the charisma and talking ability to make this work and could be a big star, assuming he’s not just thrown onto 205 Live and left to drown.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2018
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for the Raw 25^th Anniversary Show which is the go home show for the Royal Rumble. That makes tonight almost the go home show for the pay per view, as next week’s show is going to have a completely different vibe. Tonight we have Asuka vs. Nia Jax so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar fighting Braun Strowman last week until Strowman pulled a huge piece of the set down onto Lesnar and Kane. That’s quite the visual, but both Brock and Kane being conscious after a commercial hurt things a lot.

Here’s Strowman to get things going. He has a short story for us but it has a happy ending. Before he can get to his story though, Kurt Angle, flanked by security, cuts him off. Angle lists off all the obvious problems with what Braun did but Strowman says it could have been worse. Kurt gets in the always dumb sounding “unsafe worried environment” line with Strowman saying he did his job.

Strowman is ready to do whatever he wants and if that means ripping the walls off of Suplex City, so be it. Angle says Strowman is lucky Kane and Lesnar can still compete at the Rumble. As for Strowman though, he’s out of the match because HE’S FIRED. I’m not even going to bother getting all annoyed here because there’s no way they’ll do Kane vs. Lesnar as a one on one. Hardcore Holly was a more interesting (and believable) challenger back in 2004.

In the back, Braun leaves while threatening security.

Raw moment: Hugh Jackman is guest host.

Post break, a security guard orders Strowman to leave and the destruction is on. Braun promises to do even more.

The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide

Rematch from last week where Titus scored a fluke pin. Dana Brooke is in a very different top this week to prevent another instance of last week’s, uh, incident. Cesaro powers Crews into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Titus for an exchange of chops in the corner. Cesaro uppercuts Crews down though and Sheamus adds a top rope clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus getting two off a middle rope ax handle and grabbing a chinlock on Crews. Apollo fights up and brings in Titus for the forearms to the chest and an impressive toss to Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Crews moonsaults to the floor just like last week but Cesaro is ready for him this time. An uppercut to Titus knocks him into a rollup for two, only to have the Neutralizer broken up. Apollo’s high crossbody and standing moonsault get two each but Sheamus picks him up for White Noise. Cue Jason Jordan for a distraction though, allowing Crews to roll Sheamus up for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: C-. Now that’s the right call, even if the ending didn’t need Jordan out there. I was nearly convinced that they would go with the 50/50 booking here but instead, they gave Titus Worldwide another win to make them even the slightest level players in the division. Now, even if they lose for weeks to come, there’s a more believable chance they could win and that’s what matters most. Good idea here, even in a not great match.

Seth Rollins comes out to ask Jordan what he’s doing.

Strowman kicks in the door to Angle’s office and breaks a lot of stuff.

Post break, Strowman wrecks catering and chokeslams Curt Hawkins through a table. He does however take a piece of chocolate cake from a nearly catatonic worker. I can appreciate a man with a taste for some cake and Strowman as the unstoppable monster is fun.

Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander

Before the match, Enzo Amore says he’s like Frankenstein and Cedric is like Dracula because he sucks. Goldust is in Cedric’s corner and says Cedric is a box office smash. After the title match at the Rumble, the one word to describe Cedric will be champion. Cedric says that between Amore’s face and his ankle, the only word to describe him is sawft. We’re joined in progress after a break, but not before seeing Strowman shoving a dumpster through the back.

That’s one thing that drives me crazy about WWE. Strowman is supposed to be destroying everything on a rampage, but he does it right after we get back from a commercial and before we get to this match. Go split screen to show him doing this at the same time or something, but find a way to make it feel more spontaneous.

Anyway, to the match. Cedric catches him with an ankle scissors but Nese knees him in the ribs as Booker talks about how Angle shouldn’t have fired Strowman live in the ring. We hit the neck crank on Cedric with Enzo talking so much trash that Goldust goes after him, even mocking the dance. Cedric fights up and hits the springboard clothesline for two, only to get slowed down by a headlock. Back up and Cedric elbow shim in the face, followed by the Lumbar Check (with a great sell job from Tony) for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: D+. Who in the world decided to put these two out there to die like this? The longer we wait on Cedric to get his big title shot, the less interesting he becomes. He’s beaten up all these same cruiserweights over and over and there’s no point in watching him do anything other than win the title. It wouldn’t surprise me to see WWE not even do that though, which would be one of the dumbest things they could do. Just find some more interesting villains for him to vanquish or give him the title already because this was a waste of time.

Angle is thinking about calling in a SWAT team but is told Strowman is heading towards the production trucks.

Post break Strowman goes into the truck and shoves a bunch of papers around before leaving without causing too much damage. The whole thing starts shaking though as Strowman has unhooked the semi from the truck and is trying to turn it over. Angle comes up to say he’s called the cops. His phone rings as Strowman leaves, only to come back and flip the truck over with the camera going spastic with cuts to hide how fake it looked, making it look worse in the process.

Strowman heads into the arena and goes after commentary, picking Cole up by one hand and carrying him over the stage. Angle and security shows up with Kurt saying he’s called the cops off. Stephanie has rehired Strowman and he’s back in the title match (because of course Stephanie can solve any problem in ten seconds while it’s caused Angle problems for an hour) if he lets Cole go. Braun does let him go, with a flying toss off the stage and onto the security guards. The Stephanie thing made me roll my eyes but Cole being picked up by the belt and carried away like a child was funny stuff.

Tom Phillips replaces Cole on commentary.

Nia Jax vs. Asuka

Asuka gets tossed around to start but comes right back with a Black Widow (ala AJ Lee) into something like an abdominal stretch. Nia calmly shoves Asuka’s leg off though and catches her with a backbreaker. A triangle choke cuts Nia off again until she lifts Asuka up for a powerbomb into the corner as we take a break. Back with Asuka fighting out of a bearhug and avoiding a sitdown splash. Asuka’s running kick to the chest drops Jax but she’s right back up with a hard powerbomb. Asuka grabs a kneebar to send Nia bailing to the ropes and they head outside. Asuka avoids a charge and sends Nia into the steps, only to have Nia get her knee caught between the ring and the steps. Nia beats the count back in but the referee stops it due to the knee injury at 10:45.

Rating: C. I’ve seen clowns who slip on banana peels less frequently than Nia Jax. It’s like she loses every match she has this way and that’s getting old. The match was a shortened version of what we’ve seen from these two every single time now with Asuka hanging in there and finding a way to survive. This was fine, but Nia needs to win something like NOW, as she still doesn’t have a big win.

Alexa Bliss comes out to check on Nia.

Jason Jordan comes in to see Angle, who is still upset over Braun. Jordan has been watching his dad’s back all night and wouldn’t have let Strowman do anything. He thanks Angle for the opportunities again but thinks Seth needs a warmup for next week. Say against Finn Balor tonight, which Angle makes for later.

The announcers talk about Martin Luther King Day.

Video on Martin Luther King.

Bliss blames herself for Nia’s injury when Enzo comes in to check on Nia as well. Nia tells Bliss that Enzo has this so Alexa leaves while not looking happy.

Revival vs. ???/???

Yes it’s an old school squash against nameless jobbers. Dawson suplexes jobber #1 and gives hi a hard clothesline for good measure. Dash comes in with a jumping knee to the face before sending it off to jobber #2. In a cool spot, Revival loads up #2 for something like a Snapshot (elevated DDT) but Dash flips him up like a backdrop, only to have Dawson send him forward in a gordbuster. The Shatter Machine ends #1 at 1:39. There’s something so great about jobbers not even having names because they’re not important enough.

Post match Revival brags about their tag team skills because too many people are worried about Instagram likes or video games. As for next week, Revival isn’t thrilled with meeting any of the veterans at Raw 25 because there’s nothing old school about beer bashes and crotch chops. They’re professional wrestlers instead of sports entertainers so WWE doesn’t want them to succeed. Next week at Raw 25, the superstars from around the world are coming to their universe and the Revival is setting the tone for the next 25 years. Good promo here but as always: FOLLOW UP ON IT.

Here’s Elias for a new song. He’s looking forward to the Royal Rumble but wants to eliminate Cena, along with 29 others. So he’s going to pull a Mil Mascaras and eliminate himself? Elias insults the San Antonio Spurs and introduces Miz and the Miztourage for a chat before their match.

Miz talks about the fans cheering him last week because they recognize greatness. The fans knew something was missing from Raw and it wasn’t Cena or Lesnar but rather Miz. Last week Miz and the Miztourage beat up Roman Reigns and it felt awesome. That spark is why he and Maryse are getting their own series on USA and next week he’s getting the Intercontinental Title back. It’s going to feel awesome. Maybe it’s just because he hasn’t been around lately but Miz has felt like a bigger deal in the last two weeks.

Roman Reigns vs. Miztourage

Non-title. Miz offers an early distraction to no avail as Reigns punches both lackeys down. Axel’s cheap shot allows the Miztourage to send Reigns into the steps and the beating is on. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Axel has to save his partner from a suplex. Instead Dallas gets two off a DDT, followed by some double teaming to keep Reigns slowed down.

Reigns fights up and hits a Samoan drop, followed by knocking Dallas off the apron. We get the always stupid spot of someone accidentally DDTing his partner with Axel getting spiked. The Superman Punch drops both guys and Miz’s distraction fails, allowing Reigns to spear Axel for the pin at 8:16.

Rating: D-. This was reaching new levels of boring as it really didn’t need to be even half this long. Reigns isn’t threatened by these two and there was little reason to have him be in this kind of trouble. Throw in Reigns being down after five minutes of offense from Axel and Dallas and this was a combination of really boring and unbelievable, in the completely wrong way.

Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville

The rest of Absolution, Bayley and Mickie James are at ringside. As we get started, Paige is officially ruled out of the Royal Rumble. Nothing is mentioned beyond that though. A very early Bank Statement attempt send Deville bailing to the ropes but Mandy offers a distraction so Sonya can get in a few shots.

We hit a chinlock with a body vice as Booker compares Sonya to Ken Shamrock in a rare name drop. Banks fights up and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a kick to the chest for the completely clean pin at 2:26. That’s exactly the way this needed to go. Oh and welcome to the doghouse Sasha. Bayley can keep you company (for whatever reason).

Some wrestlers were at the National Civil Rights Museum last week.

Rollins tells Jordan to calm down and stop trying to be his spokesperson. This story hasn’t been bad but my levels of not caring whenever either of them show up is growing in a hurry.

Matt Hardy vs. Heath Slater

Joined in progress with Matt hitting a splash to Slater’s back and hammering away. Matt sends him into the ropes and laughs a lot so Slater heads outside for a meeting with Rhyno. Back in and Matt bites the hand before launching Slater into the corner. Matt thinks Slater must be deleted so it’s the ten rams into the buckle and a Twist of Fate for the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. Matt is changing his style up enough and that’s the best thing that could happen for him. He wasn’t really getting far with the nostalgia run so let’s see what he can do with this character. Unfortunately I’m not sure what exactly he can do with it but maybe he’ll surprise me like he did in TNA.

Goldberg is official for the Hall of Fame so it’s time for a long video package.

We look back at Strowman’s path of destruction earlier tonight.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Jordan, Gallows and Anderson are at ringside. Balor armbars him to start but gets armdragged away, followed by a kick to the back. Seth gets sent outside though and a kick to the chest puts him down as we take a break. Back (after a Raw moment of the 1-2-3 Kid pinning Razor Ramon in a huge upset) with Rollins hitting the Blockbuster but hurting his knee. It’s fine enough to try the suicide dive though and Balor is down again.

They get back inside with Rolling hitting a forearm to the back but having Balor slip out of the Falcon Arrow. The Sling Blade takes Rollins down, only to have Seth come back with his own. Balor gets in another Sling Blade but charges into a superkick for two. I really wouldn’t emphasize how they both use the same move like that but have it their way. The Wind-Up knee is countered with a forearm so Rollins enziguris him down. Seth has to roll through the Phoenix splash and gets caught with the shotgun dropkick in the corner.

The Coup de Grace is broken up with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more and both guys are down. Seth’s frog splash hits the knees though and Balor rolls him up for….two apparently but here’s the Bar to interrupt. The brawl is on at ringside with Anderson and Gallows fighting the Bar until Balor hits a flip dive to take all four out. Another kick to the head sets up the Coup de Grace but Rollins rolls away. Cesaro’s distraction allows Jordan to trip Balor and Rollins hits the curb stomp (WHERE IN THE WORLD HAS THAT BEEN???) for the pin at 15:18.

Rating: C+. Seth’s eternally present knee selling issues aside, this was the kind of main event match that always works. They were pushing the idea of the messed up fall quite a bit here and that leads me to think we’re heading for a rematch. I’m really not sure about the idea of Balor losing so soon after his renewed push but that’s WWE for you.

Balor is rather shaken up and the camera stays on him for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off great with Strowman running wild but they made sure to cut that off after an hour because it was getting too interesting. It felt like an hour of one show and two hours of the regular show, which kind of feels like a warmup for next week’s show. This show had some good booking choices (Deville winning, Revival getting a squash win, Titus Worldwide winning again etc) but the wrestling wasn’t exactly thrilling. That being said, the next two weeks are all that matters so we’ll see what they really have to offer then.

Results

Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus

Cedric Alexander b. Tony Nese – Lumbar Check

Asuka b. Nia Jax via referee stoppage

Revival b. ???/??? – Shatter Machine

Roman Reigns b. Miztourage – Spear to Axel

Sonya Deville b. Sasha Banks – Kick to the chest

Matt Hardy b. Heath Slater – Twist of Fate

Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – Blackout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s the building block of wrestling.

2017 was a heck of a year for feuding wrestlers, with some excellent options for the best feud of the year. Some of them were better than others but the top choices are hard to separate. There are almost as many options here as there are for any award, making this one of the hardest choices to make.

I’ll actually start with something from New Japan as you just can’t ignore Kazuchika Okada vs. Kenny Omega. I know the promotion isn’t built around promos like WWE but Okada challenging him for the rematch and the matches going 1-1-1 is way too much to look past. These two tore the house down every single time and put on an all time classic trilogy. Definitely worth a look if you somehow haven’t seen it yet.

We’ll go with a tag feud now and one that I considered putting at the top of the list with New Day vs. the Usos. These guys just beat the fire out of each other all year with some really entertaining promos and segments as a bonus. The Usos showed why they’re the best team in WWE at the moment while New Day got to prove that they still have it (you know, because they’re so old and such). Their match in the Cell was excellent and capped off an incredible feud, which is the big key that you need for one of these things to work. I loved this stuff and it made me an even bigger Usos fan.

Down to NXT we go (you knew this was coming) with Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream. This was much more psychological with Dream desperate to have Black say his name (with some innuendo running wild), leading to an outstanding match at Takeover: WarGames where Black beat Dream but gave him what he wanted. I got way into the build for this and it made Dream look WAY better than he would have otherwise. This is probably second on my list, which blows my mind as I was rolling my eyes when I heard the feud start.

We’ll stay in NXT (mostly) for the UK Title feud between Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne. They met for the inaugural title and then had two incredible followups for one of the best trilogies WWE has ever put together. Much like Okada vs. Omega, this was all about the action with both guys (who are way too young to be able to do stuff like this) leaving it all in the ring every single time. Their Chicago match was the best match I saw all year and I’d love to see these two again, assuming they don’t overdo the match.

We’ll continue with the battling countrymen with Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho. These two started the year off as best friends before falling apart at the Festival of Friendship (we’ll be coming back to that one). It lead to some awesome matches and title changes with some of the best moments of the first half of the year. I could have gone for one more big gimmick match between the two of them but what we got more than did the trick.

In another feud that didn’t last very long but was a lot of fun, we have Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar. This was built around the idea of two guys beating each other up in a pair of matches that didn’t waste time. They beat the heck out of each other with the big match atmosphere that most people can’t bring. Joe’s promo of choking out Paul Heyman and saying he wanted Lesnar was great stuff and the singles match was as good of a short form match as you were going to find given this style.

The winner though is the other half of the Summerslam main event with Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns. This feud had more matches than the other options with a great segment (“I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU”) and some awesome, hard hitting matches. Reigns won the first match but Strowman dominated the rest of the feud, giving him a very rare win over Reigns. I never got bored with this feud and they beat the heck out of each other, making it the best feud of the year.

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the show where you can really see the next generation rising up. The main events other than the Rumble are Lesnar vs. Holly and HBK vs. HHH. Ok so maybe the next generation only comes up in the Rumble. Other than that we don’t have much going on here but this show is all about Benoit in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Shawn vs. HHH because that’s what people are watching the ROYAL RUMBLE for right? The theme of the video is that things can change in the blink of an eye.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Flair and Batista are defending here and this is a tables match. Coach is ticked off at the Dudleys for putting him through a table six nights ago on Raw, because if there’s one man you need to give a reason to be a heel, it’s COACH. Batista makes fun of the Eagles because he hasn’t broken through to the other side of the glass ceiling yet. The fight starts in the aisle as you would expect. This is one table to a finish, meaning only one guy has to go through to end it.

Bubba slides in a table but shoves it hard enough that it slides across the ring and hits Batista in the ribs on the other side of the floor. Flair gets double teamed to start and caught in a powerslam by D-Von. There’s a table set up in the ring but Batista moves it before Flair gets suplexed through it. D-Von hits a Cactus Clothesline on Batista as Flair chops Bubba against a table in the corner.

Big Dave comes back in with some clotheslines to clean house but misses a charge into the post. The belly to back neckbreaker from the Dudleys puts him down and it’s Flair getting double teamed again. According to JR, the Dudleys are the only team to win the (non-vacant) world tag team titles at the Rumble. Coach heads to the ring to distract the Dudleys and prevent a 3D to Flair. Flair saves Coach and Batista hits a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table to retain.

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

There’s an empty seat for Mick Foley in the front row.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

We recap the battle of the Guerreros. Eddie was clearly the bigger star which was fine while they were champions, but once they lost the belts to the Bashams, Chavo blamed Eddie and turned on his uncle for losing his title. The Guerreros almost made up but they lost the rematch, after which Chavo let Eddie get double teamed by the Bashams. This was actually a pretty solid story despite how basic it was. Sometimes less is more. Oh and Kurt Angle was playing peacemaker and Chavo Guerrero Senior is in his son’s corner.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo bails to the floor before the bell and the fans are totally behind Eddie here. They fight over a lockup to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Chavo slaps Eddie in the face and now we’re ready to go. We hit the mat for a bit before Eddie starts snapping off chops in the corner. Chavo shoulders him down and we have a standoff. They chop it out again and Eddie goes to the eye like a true Guerrero.

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Ad for Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses. That’s the most entertaining part of the show so far.

Benoit likes his odds even though he’s #1 in the Rumble. Evolution comes up and says Orton is going to win the Rumble. Flair says Benoit may be great, but this is about Evolution tonight.

We recap Hardcore Holly vs. Lesnar. Brock broke Holly’s neck (legit) and Holly gets a world title shot out of it a year later. This is the textbook definition of the Rumble title shot where no one buys the champion as being in any danger whatsoever.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

We recap HHH vs. HBK which is allegedly seven years in the making. I’m guessing THIS is supposed to be the FINAL blowoff to their feud instead of the classic in 2002.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

HHH is defending and this is a last man standing match. They chop it out to start and punch each other in the corner a lot. Shawn tries a backslide before realizing that makes no sense here, so it’s back to the chops. Michaels gets caught in a facebuster as things slow down a bit. A HARD whip into the corner has Shawn’s back in trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse.

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Back in and Shawn counters a Pedigree with a backdrop to the floor but he injures his back in the process. Shawn tries a springboard cross body to the floor but crashes through the table instead as only he can. Instead of letting the now busted open Shawn get counted out, HHH throws him back in for the count, which reaches seven. The champ pounds Shawn down a few times for a few counts, most of which don’t get that far.

A fast spinebuster (literally, as Shawn was flying at HHH and it almost looked like a belly to belly instead of a spinebuster) gets about six. That’s the problem with most last man standing matches: it’s a big move then standing around for the count. That makes it very hard to get any kind of flow going to the match. HHH cracks Shawn in the back with a chair but Shawn gets up again. A Pedigree onto the chair is countered into a slingshot into the post, busting HHH open as well.

Now Shawn cracks HHH in the head with a chair, allowing HHH to do his weird “my head hurts and I’m not sure where I am” face. There’s the forearm followed by the nipup from Shawn, followed by an atomic drop and the top rope elbow. That gets about seven so Shawn tunes up the band, only to walk into a low blow to put both guys down. Shawn hooks a sleeper which eventually gets an eight count before walking into a DDT to put both guys down.

That gets a double eight count before we head to the corner. HHH tries a belly to back superplex but Shawn counters into a cross body for another double eight count. The Pedigree hits but it’s only good for a nine. Shawn pops up out of nowhere with some more Sweet Chin Music, putting both guys down for ten which keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. The problem here is exactly what I said earlier: this was a lot of laying around. The last seven minutes or so had about five moves combined, as most of the match was “move, lay down, move, lay down, move, lay down.” The idea is supposed to be a ton of drama, but that didn’t happen here. Shawn would turn into a jerk in the next few weeks and insert himself in the Mania main event because of this ending.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

The Fink is ready to start the Rumble but here’s Bischoff to run his mouth. He says that a Raw guy is going to win the Rumble because he’s respected as a GM. He runs down ECW, which brings out Heyman for a brawl. Cue Austin on his ATV to say that these two are both in violation of the law (he was called Sheriff Austin at this point) and wants to know who started it. Heyman and Bischoff: “HE DID!” Both guys get Stunners and the fans love it.

Goldberg, #30 in the Rumble, doesn’t get to talk because Lesnar comes in to interrupt him. Lesnar is called a coward, which will come into play later.

JR has to admit Foley is a coward because he isn’t here yet.

Royal Rumble

Benoit is #1 and the Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton is #2. Two minute intervals here again. They pound away on each other to start with Benoit taking him to the mat to stomp away. Mark Henry is #3 when he was a fat power guy with no direction at all. Allow me to be more specific: he’s still with Teddy Long. Benoit gets double teamed for awhile until Tajiri is #4. These intervals don’t seem to be two minutes or anywhere close to it.

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Rhyno is #6 as we’re flying through this so far. He goes after the two starters as Tajiri fires off kicks on Henry. Tajiri gets a half Tarantula on Henry but Henry gets Gored, knocking Tajiri out in the process. Benoit clotheslines Henry out and we’re down to three again. Matt Hardy is #7 and Benoit throws him to the apron almost immediately. In FAR less than two minutes, here’s Scott Steiner at #8. Oh dear it’s Scott Steiner at the Royal Rumble. This could be a disaster.

He starts firing off suplexes immediately but at least this time there are some t-bones to go with the belly to bellies. Benoit rolls some Germans on him as if to say THIS IS HOW YOU SUPLEX SOMEBODY. Things slow down a bit and here’s Matt Morgan at #9. He takes Benoit down with a Batista Bomb takes Benoit down and pounds away on Orton in the corner.

The Hurricane is #10 and comes in off the top with a cross body to Hardy. He goes after Morgan for no apparent reason and is thrown out in less than twenty seconds. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron again but can’t get him out. Booker T, complete with the stupid remix of his theme music with Booker singing, is #11. Booker immediately goes after Steiner in a revisiting of their WCW feud that no one was asking for.

Nothing of note happens until Kane is #12. This is after he buried Taker alive. For the first time. Steiner gets dumped by Booker during Kane’s entrance. Kane starts firing off chokeslams and other various power moves for which he is well known. The clock runs down at #13 and there go the lights. A gong goes off and Kane PANICS. Booker uses the distraction to dump Kane and here’s Spike Dudley at #13. He never makes it to the ring as Kane destroys him for setting off the gong.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

A-Train is #16 and goes right for Rikishi. Benoit avoids the yet to be named Carbon Footprint and dumps Morgan. I love that they’re keeping the ring from getting full. Orton dumps Rikishi and Booker as Shelton Benjamin is #17. Benoit dumps A-Train during his entrance and Orton dumps Shelton a few seconds later to get us back to two. Orton pounds on him a bit but they crack heads to put both guys down.

Lamont, the announcer for Ernest Miller (complete with the music that would go to Brodus Clay eight years later), runs out to introduce the Cat at #18. After some dancing (and singing by Tazz), Orton dumps him out. Miller would be released in like two weeks. Kurt Angle is #19 and he might be a bit harder to get out. He’s fighting for AMERICA here so the fans tell him he sucks.

Benoit and Angle destroy each other with chops and punches as only they can while Orton is content to chill in the corner. Rico, now in his Adrian Street phase, is #20. He fires off some kicks but lasts about as long as you would expect him to in a match with Orton, Angle and Benoit. The RKO takes care of Rico as Benoit rolls a ton of Germans on Angle. Test is #21…..and is nowhere in sight.

Orton RKO’s Angle and we cut to the back to see Test unconscious. Austin sees someone off camera and says they’re #21. The off camera man and presumable attacker: MICK FREAKING FOLEY! Orton, the guy who spat in Foley’s face and called him a coward, PANICS. The place goes nuts and Foley explodes on Orton, beating him half to death and hitting a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them out. This would lead to some AWESOME matches at Mania and Backlash which put Orton up to the world title in August.

Foley keeps beating on Orton as Christian is #22. Mick picks up the steps and BLASTS a security guy who tries to stop him. Orton comes back with two chair shots and fires back at Mick. They brawl up the ramp and Foley pulls out Socko, only to put it on Nunzio who comes in at #23. We haven’t seen anything of the match for awhile but I can live with that for a hot brawl like this. Orton kicks Foley low and runs as we go back to the ring.

Angle is getting double teamed as Nunzio is down on the floor. Big Show is #24 and apparently that’s Tazz’s pick. Thankfully he’s in the singlet and shorts again instead of the one piece swimsuit. Angle immediately goes after him but Show throws everyone around. Jericho is #25 as he’s in a weird phase of his career. He wasn’t a main event guy anymore but he had feuded with everyone in the midcard already so he just kind of hung around and filled in spots on the card.

All four guys go after Big Show (who has a head like a typewriter according to Tazz) but they can’t get him out. Charlie Haas is #26 but gets double teamed by Jericho and Christian. Currently we have Benoit, Angle, Jericho, Christian, Haas, Big Show and Nunzio who is on the floor. Jericho backdrops Christian out for the second year in a row as Billy Gunn is #27. Apparently this is a return for him. It’s Fameassers all around and then things slow down again.

John Cena is #28 and that pop is growing at an alarming rate. Show stares him down so Cena throws Nunzio in to kill some time. Nunzio goes after Show for some reason but Cena takes over for him to make it fair. RVD is #29 to a big pop of his own. It’s spin kicks all around until things settle down a bit. There’s an FU to Angle and Goldberg is #30. The final group: Benoit, Angle, Big Show, Jericho, Nunzio, Haas, Gunn, Cena, RVD and Goldberg. At least the ring didn’t fill up until the end so that’s not too bad.

Goldie spears a lot of people down to start before Nunzio jumps on his back like an idiot. Haas is put out and Nunzio takes a HUGE spear. Gunn is out as is Nunzio to get us down to seven. Goldberg loads up a Jackhammer on Show but Lesnar runs in with an F5 to break it up. Goldberg stares down Brock, allowing Angle to dump him out. All five remaining guys not named Big Show go after the one named Big Show but it still doesn’t work.

Everyone hits their finishers on Show instead with Cena (Show’s feud at the time) hitting the Shuffle instead of the FU, which I’m assuming they were saving for Mania. They try to dead lift Show and realize they screwed up by knocking a giant unconscious. Show shoves them all off and dumps Cena followed by Van Dam a few seconds later.

So it’s Big Show, Benoit, Angle and Jericho as the final four. Jericho gets sent to the apron twice and manages to hang on before bulldogging Show down. The Walls go on Show and he taps but Angle breaks the hold up for no apparent reason. Show chokeslams Benoit down but chokeslams Jericho even further, sending him to the floor to get us to three. A side slam puts Angle down and there’s another chokeslam to Benoit.

Show breaks up a German attempt from Angle but can’t block an Angle Slam. There’s a Slam to Benoit (it was a belly to back suplex but whatever) and the ankle lock to Show. Show taps again, but again it doesn’t mean anything. The big guy rolls through the hold and eliminates Angle in the process, getting us down to two.

Benoit dropkicks Show but knocks him back into the ring by mistake. A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface and Show taps again, but you know the drill by now. Show shrugs it off and picks Benoit up in a chokeslam. Benoit graps a front chancery though and pulls Show to the apron….then has him teetering on the ropes…..AND BENOIT WINS! The crowd kept getting louder as Benoit pulled further and further. Awesome sequence there.

Rating: A. There were some slow spots but this was ALL about Benoit and I can’t complain about that at all. The ending sequence here with all three submission guys making Show tap was a cool idea and different than the ending to any other Rumble. They didn’t throw a stupid curve here and made Benoit look like a star here, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Great Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is really REALLY good but the rest is horrible. Don’t watch the rest of the show, but if you’re a Benoit fan and can still sit through a long match of his, this is absolutely required viewing. Things would change a bit more the next year as two REALLY big names would be the stars of the Rumble, but that’s not for another year. For now, this was all about Benoit and he nailed it.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a really odd entry in the series as the namesake match is being treated as secondary to almost everything else. Really, coming into this show, there’s a good argument to be made that Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie is being treated as a bigger deal than the Rumble itself. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner is in the Rumble and the loser is out in the cold. They do the customary exchange of shoves to start with the fans almost entirely behind Lesnar. Brock drives him into the corner to little avail but the belly to belly works a bit better. A second works just as well but the third is countered with a scary toss over the top. Back in and we hit the choke, which you can tell is serious because Cole starts talking about Show’s shoe size.

Brock comes right back with the release German suplex but Heyman offers a distraction to break things up. A big boot and side slam drop Lesnar for all of ten seconds before he’s back up with an other belly to belly. Cue Heyman but he gets caught in an F5 attempt, only to have Show make the save with a chokeslam for two. A second attempt is countered into a sloppy F5 to send Lesnar to the Rumble.

Rating: D+. It was short (less than seven minutes) and had the only possible ending (it’s not like there are many other potential Rumble winners) so it’s hard to complain that much. The F5 didn’t look great but it was how the match should have ended. This probably needs to be about it for Big Show as a main event guy but you know that’s not going to be the case, which is part of the problem on Smackdown.

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending. Bubba punches Storm in the corner to start and hits something like a spinebuster. To really mix things up, Bubba grabs a leglock for a few seconds before handing it off to D-Von. Regal comes in and gets punched as well as this isn’t exactly shaking the feeling that it’s a glorified Raw match. The champs take over on D-Von with Storm drop toeholding him down into a sliding knee from Regal (nice spot).

We hit the cravate for a bit and a chinlock keeps D-Von in trouble. That doesn’t last long either though as D-Von fights up and makes the hot tag to Bubba for the house cleaning. Regal takes What’s Up but here’s Chief Morely for a distraction to prevent the 3D. It doesn’t quite work so well though as D-Von uses the distraction to grab Regal’s brass knuckles and knock Storm silly for the pin and the titles. Lawler: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” He’s confused enough to refer to Regal as Steve.

Rating: C-. This was just a Raw match with a title change and considering Booker T. and Goldust never even got a rematch after losing the titles, I have no idea what the thinking here is. Were Booker and Goldust really that bad of a team? I know it’s a sin to get over without the company swearing off on it but it’s some of the oddest booking of the year.

House show ads. They didn’t edit this off the Network? I like having the complete versions but it’s a strange choice to keep in.

Nathan Jones vignette.

We get a long recap of the Al Wilson Saga, which still doesn’t make much sense and went on WAY too long if this is their big idea. Basically Dawn Marie decided she wanted to destroy Torrie Wilson’s life (I think?) by marrying Torrie’s father. She eventually went through with it but had so much, ahem, fun with Al on their honeymoon that he died.

Dawn blames Torrie for this and the match is on, even though it was booked before Al died. If this was all some big con by Dawn, what does she get out of it? Getting a match with Torrie? She seems upset and we haven’t gotten any scene of Dawn saying it was all made up so I guess we’re supposed to take it at face value. I know I harp on this a lot but I still don’t get how this was supposed to work.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Dawn stays on the arm (that’ll teach Torrie for killing Dawn’s husband) and grabs a flapjack. They collide in a bad looking spot and the boring chants begin. Dawn actually hits a decent looking middle rope spinning clothesline, only to fall victim to that horrible swinging neckbreaker to give Torrie the pin.

Rating: F. Really, what else were you expecting here? The feud was as soap opera level as you’re going to have and the wrestlers are both models and little more. Somehow that’s about as much as you could have thought these two would do and hopefully it wraps up the story for good. I know it won’t but it would be nice.

Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon run into each other in the back with Stephanie being smug about Eric’s thirty days to fix Raw deal. Eric asks if her job is safe too but she doesn’t seem worried, partially because she has her own surprise for Raw. As with most cases of both GM’s on screen at once, this was a big waste of time.

Sean O’Haire tells us not to go to church.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. HHH. Steiner showed up in November and was immediately shoved into the title picture but hasn’t actually had a match yet. Instead it’s been stuff like a posedown, a bench press contest (which didn’t happen), arm wrestling and a pushup contest. The idea is that Steiner can do everything HHH can and might also be completely insane. The fact that they’ve barely been allowed to get physical should be a bit worrisome but HHH wouldn’t let us down.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging and HHH is in the ultra rare red trunks. Before the bell, Hebner holds up the title and insists that he’s the law around here no matter what. Steiner wins the early slugout and chops away in the corner, followed by the gorilla press to send HHH rolling to the floor. The champ’s back is sent into the post a few times and a hard Irish whip makes his back even worse.

We hit a Boston crab for a bit with HHH crawling to the ropes a few seconds later. That’s not very noteworthy, but Steiner falling over when the hold is broken isn’t the most encouraging sign. The facebuster is no sold and we hit a quickly broken bearhug. Steiner gets in the first belly to belly for two and Flair pulls him out to the floor.

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Scott catapults him into the buckle and grabs the second overhead suplex….before just collapsing next to the ropes. We’re not even nine minutes into the match and the guy can’t even stand up. Steiner picks him up for what looks like a Tombstone and you would think he was about to go into labor. HHH slips out and tries a Diamond Cutter but Steiner goes backwards with it like a regular neckbreaker. After all those years of working with Diamond Dallas Page he can’t take a standard face first bump?

You can hear the crowd losing their patience with this one. Flair plays cheerleader and the fans actually cheer for HHH, who may be boring but he’s at least looking competent here. The champ dives into another overhead suplex but Steiner still can’t follow up. Some Steiner Lines set up suplexes four, five and six, followed by a spinning version for two.

Steiner tries a tiger bomb and falls down, drawing straight up booing from the fans. The announcers are trying as hard as they can to make Steiner sound like a threat here and it’s going as badly as you would expect. HHH heads up top so it’s a superplex for two more. That’s enough to send HHH and Flair up the aisle but Steiner isn’t done yet and drags them back. As lame as an ending as that would be, it was the right call at this point.

A belt shot to HHH’s head draws some blood and they continue to stagger around ringside with no idea what to do. Another belly to belly (ninth suplex total) sends HHH outside again and they brawl into the crowd because THIS MATCH JUST CAN’T END. Back in again with Steiner doing the pushups and laboring through some right hands in the corner. Now Flair tries to get the referee to stop the match but the referee keeps going because he’s that kind of evil.

Steiner hates the match as much as everyone else does so he throws Hebner outside but THAT’S NOT A DQ EITHER. The tenth suplex gets two and you can see Steiner looking desperate. HHH gets in a low blow and rolls Steiner up for two. That’s FINALLY enough for HHH as he grabs sledgehammer and hits Scott in the ribs for the DQ, earning a chorus of boos that would make Roman Reigns proud.

Rating: N. For Not HHH’s Fault. For once, this can’t be blamed on HHH, who was just stuck in a horrible situation and couldn’t do anything with it. To be fair though, no one was going to be able to get anything passable out of this mess. Steiner wasn’t ready for this match and had no business going more than five minutes, let alone eighteen. The interesting thing here though is the first eight minutes ran more than well enough. It was a boring start but it was nowhere near a disaster or even really bad. The problem is the second half of the match where EVERYTHING falls apart.

You’ll hear a lot of comparisons between this Steiner and Brock Lesnar’s Suplex City but the key is in the delivery. Lesnar suplexes the heck out of people and then pops up to do it again. Steiner was suplexing HHH here and then taking twenty seconds to get to his feet out of pure exhaustion. When you can see wrestlers go twenty minutes without even breathing hard, there’s no excuse for a main eventer nearly passing out from exhaustion in the first ten minutes. There’s a reason this is remembered so horribly and it more than lives down to its reputation.

Post match Steiner hits him with the sledgehammer and grabs the Steiner Recliner. JR: “There’s no way out of this hold.” In other words, yes they’re actually doing a rematch. Bischoff eventually comes out and gets Steiner off of HHH as the fans are so apathetic towards any of this.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt won the title with help from his new agent Paul Heyman, who also represents Big Show. Benoit beat Show to become the new #1 contender and you know this is going to be a classic no matter what. That being said, there’s not much of a secret to the fact that they’re building towards Lesnar vs. Angle at this point. At least we can have an incredible match on the way there.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. Benoit has to deal with Team Angle to start so that’s a double ejection. Chris tries a very quick Sharpshooter (which Tazz calls a Boston crab for some reason), sending Angle outside for a breather. Back in and another leg hold sends Angle to the ropes as it seems that they have a long time here.

Benoit easily wins a battle of the chops and gets two off a clothesline to the back of the head. A DDT onto the apron makes things even worse but Angle rolls away from the Swan Dive. The Angle Slam is reversed though and we hit the Sharpshooter. Angle grabs the ropes as well as a belly to belly (after that last match, I’m surprised those weren’t banned like bar stools on Frasier) to really take over for the first time.

We hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors on Benoit for a bit before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up and they trade German suplexes with Benoit getting the better of it. Chris takes too long going up top though and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex. The Crossface goes on a few seconds later with Benoit switching to the ankle lock (that’s like a Bingo space in an Angle match).

Kurt’s ankle lock is reversed into the Crossface which is reversed into a rollup which is reversed right back into the Crossface. Angle gets to his feet for an Angle Slam but there’s no cover. There go the straps though and it’s back to the ankle lock. Benoit gets two off a rollup as the announcers are losing their minds (rightfully so).

Kurt is sick of this submission stuff and tries a German suplex, only to have Benoit reverse into a release version, drawing quite the round of applause. With Angle three quarters of the way across the ring, Benoit hits the best looking Swan Dive I’ve ever seen for a delayed two. Angle grabs a powerbomb but drops Benoit face first onto the buckle, followed by another Slam for two.

We’re right back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock which can’t be reversed this time. Benoit kicks him away instead, only to get caught in the ankle lock again. Chris tries to pull him into the Crossface but Angle holds on and gets the grapevine to FINALLY make Benoit tap because he was beaten and he knew it.

Rating: A+. I’ve seen this match several times now and I’m still exhausted just watching it. These guys were beating the heck out of each other with everything looking anywhere from great to unbelievable (that Swan Dive in particular). This was outstanding stuff and one of the best wrestling matches I’ve ever seen. There’s also a bit of a HHH vs. Cactus Jack vibe to it with Angle being backed into a corner and having to fight, only to prove that he is indeed the better man, at least on this night. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in awhile, or just because it’s worth seeing multiple times.

After an Anthology ad, Benoit gets the big standing ovation, which probably should have sent him to a World Title shot (at least) at Wrestlemania. Instead it was a spot in a three way for the Tag Team Titles because that’s how WWE worked in 2003.

Rob Van Dam and Kane agree that it’s every man for himself tonight.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals (though Fink says two minutes) with Shawn Michaels at #1 and Chris Jericho at #2. If nothing else, at least Shawn is starting to look like a wrestler again instead of the tiny thing he was back at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second as it’s Christian in Jericho’s clothes instead of Chris himself. Cue Jericho from underneath the ring to hit Shawn low. One heck of a beatdown ensues with Jericho busting Shawn open with a chair as Christopher Nowinski is in at #3. He’s willing to stay on the floor while Jericho beats on Shawn some more and easily eliminates him.

Nowinski is still on the floor as Rey Mysterio is in at #4. Rey tries to speed things up and slips out of a gorilla press, only to get punched out to the apron. As usual, Jericho celebrates early and gets dropkicked into the ropes. Nowinski FINALLY gets in and it’s Edge in at #5. Outside of Nowinski, that’s quite the first four. Spears abound as Rey gets back into it and Nowinski is sent outside but not eliminated.

Jericho is sent into the post and through the ropes to the floor. Rey and Edge shake hands and go at it with Rey hitting the 619 but he gets powerbombed to put both guys down. It’s Christian in at #6 with an offer to reform the team with Edge. That earns him a spear but here’s Nowinski to throw Edge and Mysterio to the apron. Chavo Guerrero is in at #7 as the Smackdown is strong with this Rumble.

Rey and Chavo do a quick lucha sequence with the 619 setting up a springboard seated senton. Christian eats a 619 of his own, followed by a hurricanrana to get rid of Nowinski. Jericho comes back in for a hard clothesline to get rid of Mysterio and here’s Tajiri in at #8. Things settle down a bit with Chavo choking Jericho in the corner and Tajiri not being able to eliminate Christian.

Bill DeMott is in at #9 and attacks various people in short order. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled here as we’re waiting on the big name to clean out some of these names. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 to give us Dreamer, Jericho, Edge, Christian, Chavo, Tajiri and DeMott. Dreamer brings weapons with him and Edge knocks DeMott out with a kendo stick. Jericho and Christian hit a con-trashcanlid-o on Dreamer and get rid of him without much effort. Tajiri takes them both down with a handspring elbow but the Tarantula is easily broken up, allowing Jericho to get rid of him.

B2, still with the Cena entrance theme, is in at #11…and Edge gets rid of him in less than thirty seconds. Chavo is speared out next, followed by a bloody Jericho (from a Dreamer kendo stick shot) dumping Edge and Christian to leave himself all alone. Rob Van Dam is in at #12 because Edge/Van Dam vs. Christian/Jericho was out of the question for some reason. A superkick has Jericho in trouble and he’s catapulted all the way to the apron. Matt Hardy, who strongly dislikes mustard, is in at #13 and drops Rob with a Side Effect.

Van Dam gets double teamed for a bit until he flips over Jericho and kicks Matt in the face for good measure. The Five Star hits Jericho and it’s Eddie Guerrero in at #14. We get a rehash of Eddie vs. Van Dam from last year until Matt helps Eddie set up an ugly frog splash. That earns Eddie a Twist of Fate (Eddie is smarter than that) and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #15.

Jeff doesn’t buy the reunion idea either (like anyone would buy a Hardys reunion in 2003 or beyond) and beats Matt up, only to have Shannon Moore dive onto Matt to save him from a Swanton. That’s fine with Jeff so he crushes both of them as Rosey is in at #16. Matt gets backdropped to the apron as the eliminations have slowed WAY down. Test is in at #17 and gets to clean house a bit without eliminating anyone. You know, because Rosey needs to stick around.

A rapping John Cena is in at #18 giving reasons why he’s going to win this. The camera stays on him and for once it’s not the biggest problem as nothing is going on in the ring. Van Dam beats him up on the floor (maybe for wrestling in jeans instead of jean shorts for a change) and it’s Charlie Haas in at #19. Where are Lesnar and Undertaker to clear these people out? Jeff tries to run up the corner so Rob eliminates him, still leaving us with far too many people.

Rikishi is in at #20, giving us Rikishi, Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Rosey, Test, Cena and Haas. Rosey and Rikishi have a weird family reunion as Shannon comes in to protect Matt. That just earns him a double Stinkface, or at least it would have if Rosey hadn’t clotheslined Rikishi instead. Jamal is in at #21 to superkick Rikishi, who pops right back up with a Stinkface for his…..brother I believe.

Kane is in at #22 to clean house but he brings Rico in with a chokeslam to fill the ring up even more. Rosey is tossed in a hurry and it’s a double chokeslam for Matt and Shannon. Shelton Benjamin is in at #23 as the ring is WAY too full with eleven people in there, plus Shannon and Rico at various times. They all fight near the ropes and it’s Booker T. in at #24. We go to a weird closeup for an ax kick on Kane and there’s the Spinarooni. Eddie gets backdropped out and it’s A-Train in at #25.

A good looking A-Train Bomb (chokebomb) plants Cena and another one hits Van Dam but Rikishi superkicks A-Train in the face. Jericho is sent to the apron AGAIN but here’s a bandaged Shawn to go after Jericho, allowing Test to knock him out. Shawn stays on Jericho and that’s a Wrestlemania match. Maven is in at #26 (because this match needed two Tough Enough names) and goes after Kane as things slow down again. Goldust is in at #27 and doesn’t even last a minute before Team Angle puts him out. They do the same to Booker T. a few seconds later, making sure that the Booker T./Goldust team is swiftly beaten again.

Batista is in at #28 and gets rid of Test (after EIGHTEEN MINUTES, or longer than Edge and Mysterio combined) and Rikishi. Brock Lesnar is in at #29 and becomes the most obvious winner since….well last year with HHH actually. He wastes no time in getting rid of Team Angle before throwing Matt onto both of them. Now that’s how you clear out some bodies. Undertaker is in at #30 to give us a final group of Undertaker, Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista and Lesnar. Not the worst field actually.

Undertaker dumps Cena (Which could have set up a heck of a Wrestlemania match today but we wanted a reality show moment instead. Yes you did want that and Kevin Dunn told me so.) and Jamal (Why was he still there?) before Maven hits the same dropkick as last year. This time there’s no effect though, making Maven’s celebration a bit amusing.

After Maven is launched out, A-Train hits the A-Train Bomb on Undertaker. Van Dam and Kane get rid of A-Train and we’re down to five. Kane loads up Rob in a gorilla press….and throws him out in a smart move (not a heel turn). Batista and Kane are put down with a double clothesline and it’s time for Lesnar vs. Undertaker.

That’s broken up before anything can happen though and the Brothers of Destruction start taking over. Brock takes care of Batista and Kane so we can have the Undertaker showdown. The F5 is countered and Brock takes a Tombstone, followed by Undertaker dumping Batista and Kane. Batista comes back in and eats a chair shot, leaving Brock to eliminate Undertaker for the win.

Rating: B. There was a REALLY bad dead spot in the middle and some of the choices were all over the place (Test, Jamal and Rikishi all getting over fourteen minutes while Los Guerreros, Edge and Mysterio were all afterthoughts) but the ending was the right call. The final four wasn’t a bad group at all and having Lesnar dump Undertaker to win is as good a move as they could have made.

There was VERY little build to this match and they did well enough with it while they could. It’s not a terrible Rumble but there are many better options. Fix the middle part and get rid of people at a faster clip and it’s a great one, but as it is it’s just pretty good. Then again, for this year that’s quite the compliment.

The big problem here though is how weak the midcard and lower card is. Maybe it’s just the way some of them were booked but aside from Lesnar, Undertaker and MAYBE Jericho, was anyone a real threat to win here? Having an obvious winner is fine but it would be nice to build up someone else as a possible winner.

Overall Rating: B-. The World Title matches cancel each other out and thankfully the Rumble is there to make up for a nothing lower card. Lesnar winning was the obvious ending here and that left the rest of the show to really carry things. Angle vs. Benoit is must see and Steiner vs. HHH may be as well if you’re into unintentional comedy. The rest of the show though…..egads there’s nothing to see there. It’s a perfectly good show but the problems are very big and the Rumble isn’t good enough to make it a classic.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD

2013 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

2013 Redo: H (For HHH)

2017 Redo: N (For Not HHH’s Fault)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

And the 2013 redo here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This is a new one.

We always talk about the moves and the matches, but what about the individual moments? Sometimes you have moments that just catch your eye because they’re either shocking, cool, or just something you haven’t seen before. That’s what we’re looking at today, meaning some of these might be big moves while some of them are just people doing something cool.

As should always be the case, we’ll go to NXT first with Roderick Strong superplexing Adam Cole onto the rest of the participants in WarGames at Takeover: WarGames. As is going to be the case more often than not on this list, the visual is what makes the biggest difference here. While I found it to be a bit of a stretch that everyone was just standing there waiting, there’s not much that can be done on that front. It was a great visual and part of an amazing match which needed a signature moment. Check on all three.

Now we’ll get one of the annual options out of the way with Shane McMahon’s Cell dive. It’s always a cool visual but when you reach the point where you know it’s coming, a lot of the excitement goes away. I’ve seen Shane dive off of something so many times now that while there’s a quick thrill, there’s not much more to it than that. You have to mention it because it’s a dive off the Cell, but that’s as far (Or is it low?) as this is going to go.

We’ll head back to the beginning of the year now for another something that involves being up in the air. This time it was at the Royal Rumble with AJ Styles kicking out of the Super AA. That’s John Cena’s mega special move and Styles became one of the first (if not the first) people to kick out of the thing. It made Styles look like he could actually win the match, even if he lost not too long thereafter. That was the kind of NO WAY kickout that was needed though and it’s the biggest thing that happened in one of the best matches of the year.

Next up we have a case where I have no idea which one it was but it doesn’t really matter. The Singh Brothers might not be the most useful team in the world but they’re great at taking big falls. That’s what happened when Randy Orton threw one of them off of the Punjabi Prison at Battleground and my goodness did that boy bounce off of the announcers’ table. You could also put in the time where Orton nearly killed one of them with the suplex onto the table but this one was a longer fall and the only good thing to come out of that horrid match.

Finally though, we have something that spawned a catchphrase and one of the best visuals the company has had in a long time. On April 10, Braun Strowman flipped over an ambulance to seemingly crush Roman Reigns because Strowman WASN’T FINISHED WITH HIM. This was part of one of the best feuds of the year and Strowman looked like the biggest monster not named Brock Lesnar in years. It was just cool, and sometimes that’s what works better than anything else.