KB’s Review: The Ballad of Emma
WWE at its finest.
NXT – November 1, 2017: Houston, We HaWARGAMES!
NXT
Date: November 1, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We’re less than three weeks away from Houston and by now a lot of the card can be figured out in advance. The big story from last week is the addition of the Authors of Pain to the main event mix, making things even bigger than they already were. The major match for Takeover hasn’t been announced yet but you know what’s coming. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Andrade Cien Almas will officially challenge Drew McIntyre at Takeover. Their contract signing is later tonight.
Taynara Conti vs. Nikki Cross
They’re not wasting time this week. Cross goes right after her and knocks Conti to the floor for some forearms to the chest. Back in and Conti uses the legs for some kicks to the arm, only to get dropped by a short arm clothesline. A Scorpion Death Drop sets up the swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker to give Cross the pin at 2:38. Energetic while it lasted but you knew Cross wasn’t losing this close to a title shot.
Mercedes Martinez blames her failures on Ember Moon.
Fabian Aichner vs. Johnny Gargano
Gargano takes him to the mat to start and grabs a rollup for an early two. A standing dropkick gets the same as Johnny is moving out there early on. Aichner sends him outside though and we take a break. Back with Johnny elbowing his way to freedom and scoring with a rolling kick to the face.
Aichner makes the mistake of sending Gargano to the apron and then charges into the slingshot spear for two more. The slingshot DDT doesn’t put Aichner away either so he grabs a heck of a powerbomb for two. Gargano is back up with a running kick in the corner but the Gargano Escape is countered into a rollup to give Aichner the clean pin at 9:14.
Rating: B-. Aichner gets a big win and a huge upset but the more interesting story here is Gargano, who is trying as hard as he can but still can’t win a bit match. That has the potential to be a heck of a setup for when Ciampa returns (which should be in the next few months) and I’m really curious to see where they go with that idea.
Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream is official for Takeover.
Earlier today the Street Profits were admiring Tino Sabbatelli and Riddick Moss’ very expensive car when Tino and Riddick showed up. Trash was talked but nothing gets physical.
It’s time for the contract signing. Drew comes out holding the contract but Andrade jumps him and signs the contract. Zelina hands Andrade her gum, which he uses to stick the contract to Drew.
Peyton Royce and Billie Kay are upset about Billie not being in the title match when Kairi Sane, with her pirate wheel, comes up to scare them.
Tag Team Titles: Sanity vs. Authors of Pain
Sanity is defending with Alexander Wolfe and Eric Young representing the team. There’s no Paul Ellering at ringside. Wolfe hammers away on Akam in the corner as Mauro talks about Wolfe starting “sports entertainment training” at thirteen. I get not calling it wrestling in a general sense but does ANYONE outside of Vince think that sounds natural or good? Just say training. Anyway Wolfe gets hammered down in the corner and the slow beating begins. We hit a chinlock and take an early break.
Back with Ra’zar holding Wolfe in a front facelock until a double clothesline allows the double tag to Young and Akam. Young cleans house in a hurry and gets two off the top rope elbow. Wolfe comes back in with a top rope clothesline but everything breaks down and the Authors hit the Super Collider. The Last Chapter takes Young down but the Undisputed Era runs in for the DQ at 10:28.
Rating: C+. This was getting good near the ending but you could feel the Undisputed Era interference coming (which isn’t a bad thing). The Authors have gotten their title rematch out of the way and that’s what matters most in all of this. Good main event, but bigger things coming after are more important.
Killian Dain runs in but gets taken down as well. Roderick Strong comes out and puts on the Era’s armband, only to lay them out a few seconds later. The Authors are back up and help Strong clear the ring. Cue William Regal to make the big announcement: a triple threat match at Takeover inside WARGAMES. The fans are stunned and the Takeover: Houston logo turns into Takeover: WarGames as a YES chant takes us out. Mauro: “Houston, we have a WarGames.”
Overall Rating: B. Well that worked. I knew the WarGames announcement was coming and I still got excited when they finally said it. They’re pushing a lot of stories at once here and I’m genuinely interested in how things are going to go in Houston. The Authors and Strong are the weakest of the trios and it’s still entirely conceivable to have them win. Good show this week and a lot of stuff was advanced.
Results
Nikki Cross b. Taynara Conti – Swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker
Fabian Aichner b. Johnny Gargano – Rollup
Authors of Pain b. Sanity via DQ when the Undisputed Era interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Smackdown – October 31, 2017: Rusev Day is Strangerer Than Halloween
Smackdown
Date: October 31, 2017
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
This almost has to be better. After last night’s rather lackluster Raw, we’re continuing the build towards Survivor Series. This week we have a pair of Survivor Series qualifying matches as Shinsuke Nakamura faces Kevin Owens and Bobby Roode meets Dolph Ziggler in a 2/3 falls match. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Shane McMahon to open things up. He talks about how Smackdown has always been seen as the secondary show and the little brother to Raw. Then they went live and made the best of it with Daniel Bryan as General Manager, but they knew they had to do something to shake things up. That’s what caused them to invade Raw, because Smackdown has heart.
Shane talks about how Smackdown had to work harder than anyone else and thanks the roster and fans for everything they do. That brings Shane to last night when Daniel Bryan was attacked by Kane. It was a setup and Shane blames Stephanie McMahon and Kurt Angle. Survivor Series is coming and Shane is going to be the Smackdown team captain. Let’s get to some action though.
Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler
2/3 falls. Ziggler wastes no time in trying some rollups for two, only to have Roode take him down with a clothesline out of the corner. The Blockbuster gets two more and Roode scores with a knee to the ribs. Ziggler hits a quick superkick though and gets the first fall at 3:44. Back from a break with the score being tied up as Roode sunset flipped him for a pin during the break at approximately 7:05.
They slug it out until Roode scores with a spinebuster for two more. The running DDT (without much contact) gives Ziggler another near fall and both guys are down again. Dolph reverses the Glorious DDT into the Zig Zag for two and they hit the rollups with handfuls of tights. Roode finally reverses into the Glorious DDT for the final pin at 11:29.
Rating: C-. Ho, and may I add hum. This was every bit as uninteresting of a match as these two have had yet and that’s a really bad sign. Their feud isn’t interesting and the matches aren’t anything special but for some reason we needed to see them fight this many times. Not terrible here, but I’m very glad Roode is moving on to anything else.
Post match Roode says he’s ready to fight and the next two teammates need to have the same level of passion and competitiveness that the three of them already have.
New Day is in the back, dressed as Jimmy Hart (Woods), Akeem (Big E.) and Brother Love (Kofi) when Rusev and Aiden English come in. Woods speaks in the high pitched voice and Kofi talks about how much he LOVES candy. Rusev takes their candy bucket away and thinks the people giving them candy could be spies from Raw. Halloween is for dumb children and the only holiday that matters is Rusev Day. Rusev CRUSHES the candy and Big E. challenges him to a match later.
Becky Lynch gives Team Smackdown a pep talk and Ellsworth, still on a leash, barks like a dog. Lynch sprays him with water until Natalya comes in to say she should be the captain. They’re all the weak links on the team, though Charlotte seems to be the one that worries Natalya most.
Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara
Non-title. Corbin goes for the mask to start and throws Cara outside. Cara saves his mask again and slides back inside to kick Corbin in the face. One heck of a forearm cuts off the comeback (Is it early enough for a comeback?) though and Corbin goes for the mask a third time. Cara gets all ticked off and sends Corbin outside for a beating. A spear to the back and more right hands to the head set up another spear over the announcers’ table. The referee throws it out at 2:59.
Cara throws a chair at Corbin, who bails into the crowd.
The Usos are ready to take care of Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose to show that they’re the A team of this B show. My goodness can we please stop with the brands suddenly hating each other stuff? Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin come in and say they get their title shot next week. Gable raps (work with me here) a bit about how they’re going to win the titles.
Here are the Singh Brothers to imitate Paul Heyman and introduce Jinder Mahal. Jinder comes out and says he’ll win at Survivor Series so that people will call him the Beastmaster.
AJ Styles vs. Samir Singh
Singh gets in a slap, only to be taken down and pummeled. The Styles Clash wraps it up at 36 seconds.
Post match Mahal beats AJ down by bending his back around the post, followed by some Khallases.
Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are AGHAST at the idea of Shane McMahon being the captain. Oh and what kind of man like Randy Orton would use a low blow to win a match? Owens promises to win tonight and lead Smackdown to victory.
The Bludgeon Brothers are coming.
Here are Aiden English and Rusev with the former singing about how much he hates Halloween because IT’S RUSEV DAY!
Rusev vs. Big E.
Big E. is still dressed as Akeem and grabs an early abdominal stretch to have Rusev in trouble. Some stomping sets up the dancing but Rusev pulls E. arm first over the ropes. The same arm goes into the post (Graves: “HAPPY RUSEV DAY!”) and we take a break with Graves being rather pleased.
Back with Rusev working on the arm (at least Rusev Day sees you still being logical) until Big E. comes back with the belly to belly suplexes. The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Rusev but English starts singing. Woods drowns him out with the trombone so Kofi chases him into the ring for a Big Ending. The distraction lets Rusev kick Big E. in the back of the head for the pin at 7:37.
Rating: D+. Just a match here though I’m glad they went with Rusev getting the win instead of going with the fun option. Throw in the fact that Big E. wrestled dressed like Akeem and things were even better. Of course ignore the fact that on HALLOWEEN, this is the only thing we’re doing, despite last night seeing a Halloween street fight. You know, on the night before Halloween.
Cara says he worked hard to get his mask and he’s not giving it up.
English and Rusev come into Shane’s office to get Rusev a spot on Team Smackdown. Shane is willing to give him a qualifying match against AJ Styles next week. Shane sings good luck.
It’s Fashion Files time and this week it’s Strangerer Things (I don’t watch Stranger Things so I’m going to miss most of the jokes/references here). This is subtitled Chapter Twenty: The Right Side Up. The bulletin board has a variety of tag teams posted and Fandango, who is dressed as a sheriff, feeds Eggos to someone in a tent. Tyler Breeze, in a pink dress and wig, comes in with a box of Uggos, making Fandango wonder who was in the tent. Viktor comes in to say it wasn’t him and the tent starts to shake. It’s Tye Dillinger, also in a dress, who says he’s not another eleven but rather a ten.
Konnor comes in dressed as some kind of a creature but says it’s just a costume. The lights go out and some Christmas lights appear around the picture of the Bludgeon Brothers. The lights flicker back on and the briefcase from a few weeks ago is back. This time though there’s a Saw like puppet, saying let the game begin.
Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Nakamura wastes no time in hammering away, knocking Owens to the floor with a hard shot. A whip sends Owens into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Owens pounding him down and grabbing a chinlock. A DDT gives Owens two and we hit the chinlock sequel. This version lasts a bit longer until Nakamura fires off kicks, including a big one to the head to really stagger Owens.
The knees in the corner have Owens in trouble but here’s Zayn for a distraction. It’s enough for Owens to reverse a superplex into the swinging fisherman’s superplex to put both guys down. The frog splash gives Owens two but here’s Randy Orton (with more hair than I’ve seen him have in years) to drop Sami onto the announcers’ table. The distraction lets Nakamura score with Kinshasa for the pin at 12:25.
Rating: C+. Like so many Nakamura matches, this was just him going through the motions and being someone who happens to be wrestling. There’s no fire to him and while this is a big win for his main roster career, it’s not exactly thrilling stuff. Then again, with a commercial in the middle and two people interfering, how good could it be?
Overall Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how much easier it is to sit through this show than Raw. This felt like a show where they were getting ready for a big pay per view while Raw felt like some big calamity with a bunch of stories and styles put together. It’s not a great show or anything but it had a goal and moved towards it, making this FAR easier to sit through than the red counterpart.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler – Glorious DDT
Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest when they both brawled on the floor
AJ Styles b. Samir Singh – Styles Clash
Rusev b. Big E. – Kick to the back of the head
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Kevin Owens – Kinshasa
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – October 30, 2017: No. Moving On.
Monday Night Raw
Date: October 30, 2017
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
It’s time for the fallout show as we’re less than three weeks away from Survivor Series and Raw is reeling from Smackdown’s invasion last week. The interesting part is whether or not Smackdown will be back this week as it’s time to get ready for the real battle. Hopefully it’s as entertaining as last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of last week’s invasion.
Opening sequence.
Kurt Angle is in the ring and the Raw roster is on the stage. Last week was taking friendly competition too far and that was a slap in the face of the people who work here every week. He put them in harm’s way and that will never happen again. Cue the returning Stephanie McMahon to talk about how Monday Night Raw will be celebrating twenty five years on January 22. The show is still going strong and that’s where she and Kurt come in. Angle has lead by example and has even earned her respect.
Stephanie pauses for the YOU STILL GOT IT but blames Angle for last week’s siege. It took twenty seconds to ruin Raw’s history and that’s all because of Angle falling for Shane’s lies. Stephanie goes on a rant about how Angle RUINED, yes RUINED, Raw’s legacy last week in one incompetent moment. Therefore, Angle better hope that he still has it because he’s going to be team captain at Survivor Series. If things don’t go the way she wants, he’s out as General Manager.
Post break Stephanie is leaving and Angle is very sorry. Stephanie mentions Mick Foley as another threat to Angle’s job. As Stephanie leaves, another limo comes up, containing the Miz. Angle isn’t happy with him being late so he’s defending the Intercontinental Title tonight. Miz wants to know who but Angle won’t tell him for being late. Of note: Bo Dallas was back.
Angle being all apologetic and scared here does nothing for him, but it certainly makes Stephanie look like the queen of the world. You know, BECAUSE WE HAVEN’T ESTABLISHED THAT ENOUGH IN THE LAST FIFTEEN YEARS!
Bayley vs. Alicia Fox
Fox comes out in an airline captain’s outfit (well, the female wrestling version) and says this is your captain speaking (eh kind of clever). She has business to tend to so we have a replacement.
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
Bayley charges right at her to start and basically bounces off of the monster, landing on the floor in a heap. Back with Nia holding a chinlock, followed by a pair of running splashes in the corner. What looked to be a Vader Bomb is broken up and Nia is dumped to the floor. Bayley dives off the apron with some right hands, followed by a kick to the face for two. We hit a guillotine choke but Nia shrugs it off without much effort. A spear and the legdrop end Bayley at 7:24.
Rating: D+. You know all those times that Nia has defeated Bayley before? This is the most recent one. The match was yet another destruction of Bayley, who will be the exact same character next week. That’s one of the biggest reasons characters from NXT don’t work in WWE: there’s no development. Bayley had that crisis of confidence over the summer, came back, changed nothing, and is right back where she was months ago. That’s poor writing and a lack of storytelling, which is why Bayley (along with so many others) isn’t interesting anymore.
Alicia picks Nia to be on the Raw team. Nia goes to leave but Samoa Joe of all people is back. Post break, Joe says he knows some people here missed him but he didn’t miss a single one of them. Therefore, when he’s beating the heck out of someone, he’ll be imagining it’s all of the people.
Samoa Joe vs. Apollo Crews
Joe wastes no time in chopping Crews in the corner and it’s not looking good early on. Crews fights back with a good looking dropkick and some right hands in the corner but Joe isn’t about to be suplexed. A kick in the corner drops Crews and Joe throws his gum at Titus O’Neil. Crews scores with an enziguri but the Toss Powerbomb is countered with a headlock takeover. The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Crews and it’s the Koquina Clutch for the tap out at 3:39.
Rating: D. Samoa Joe gave Brock Lesnar all he could handle on pay per view but he broke a sweat against Crews on Raw? Joe is one of the best monsters on Raw and for some reason they won’t have him squash a jobber to the stars. This was WAY more competitive than it needed to be and it’s not like this company has much credibility when it comes to making new stars at the moment (but they can push Kane of course).
Post match Joe chokes Titus out as well.
Quick look at Raw 25 coming up in January featuring Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and…Kevin Nash?
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Matt Hardy
Matt is challenging and wastes no time in trying a small package for two. A backslide gets the same and these early pinfall attempts are working at making Miz sweat a bit. Miz bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Matt getting crotched on top and a neckbreaker out of the corner getting two. You can tell Miz is working here as his hair is hanging off the side of his head.
Miz puts him on the apron and gets two off a kick to the head. Back in and Miz hits the corner clothesline but the top rope ax handle is blocked. Instead Miz crotches himself in the corner to put both guys down. Matt gets two off a bulldog and drops his middle rope elbow to the back of the neck.
A regular middle rope elbow (that’s a new one) gets two, followed by the Side Effect for the same. Matt scores with a moonsault of all things for two more but Miz is right back with the YES Kicks. A Twist of Fate out of nowhere plants Miz but he rolls to the apron. Back up and Miz snaps him throat first across the ropes, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 13:02.
Rating: B. This was much better than I was expecting and a lot of that is because of Matt knowing how to make you buy into his near falls. There’s no reason to really believe that Matt is going to end Miz’s long title reign here but they pulled off a good match. I’m not sure who is taking the title from Miz, but he’s less than two months away from the second most combined days as champion of all time so it’s not happening anytime soon. More than likely at least.
We recap the opening sequence, making sure to show how amazing Stephanie is, just in case you forgot in the last 40 minutes.
Alexa Bliss comes in to see Angle and mocks the idea of Mickie James being a serious contender. Angle isn’t cool with that and makes Bliss vs. James for the title in the main event.
Asuka vs. Stacie Cullen
A spinning backfist drops Cullen and it’s time for some hard knees to the face. Asuka kicks her in the head and the Asuka Lock is good for the submission at 1:42.
Angle grabs a walkie talkie and says the invasion is happening again. It turns out to just be Daniel Bryan and we take a break. Back with Angle yelling at Bryan for wanting to be here to finish the job. Bryan says no but Angle threatens to have the Raw roster destroy him right now. Angle promises to come to Smackdown and even things up.
Recap of Brock Lesnar answering Jinder Mahal’s challenge and Mahal’s response.
Bryan is still in Angle’s office for no apparent reason and sums up what happened in a phone call. The lights go out and we take a break. Back with Bryan in the dark ranting about the door being locked. He says something is wrong and Kane shows up to chokeslam him through a table (off camera of course).
Finn Balor vs. Cesaro
Balor takes him into the corner to start and shouts BAR. That’s still a stupid name so Balor headlocks him down instead. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets Cesaro out of trouble though and he uppercuts Finn into the corner. Balor sends him outside though and the running apron kick to the face drops Cesaro. Sheamus gets in a cheap shot though and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro hitting the pop up uppercut for two, followed by the apron superplex (that never gets old) for the same. We hit the Sharpshooter for a bit with Balor easily powering out. That means a Sling Blade into the corner dropkick, followed by Balor hitting a good looking running flip dive onto both guys. A top rope double stomp to the back gives Balor the pin at 11:28.
Rating: B-. At least Balor got something back after that pretty ridiculous loss to Kane last week. Hopefully he gets a nice run at the pay per view as he still needs to shake off the Bray Wyatt feud. Cesaro losing in a singles match doesn’t mean much as he’s not likely to be getting a singles push anytime soon.
Post match Kane comes out and Tombstones Balor on the stage. HE’S KANE! DOES ANYONE THINK HE NEEDS TO BE BUILT UP TO FACE STROWMAN? And at the expense of Finn Balor? Good grief is there anyone else you want to put Kane over?
Seth Rollins vs. Kane
I WAS KIDDING!!! Cesaro and Sheamus are still at ringside along with Ambrose. Rollins just looks better in the Shield gear. Seth’s early shots have little effect so he scores with some dropkicks through the ropes. The suicide dive is broken up though and Kane runs him over with a clothesline. Rollins hammers away in the corner and kicks at the knee, only to get dropped with an uppercut. You can’t say Kane’s offense is complicated yet it still works well. The side slam gives Kane two and we hit a chinlock.
Back up and an enziguri gets Seth out of trouble and the Blockbuster (still love that move) gets two. A suicide dive is blocked though and Rollins is down in a heap. Back in and Seth’s springboard….I think clothesline is shrugged off as Sheamus and Cesaro are stomping on Ambrose. Another springboard is countered into a chokeslam for the pin on Rolling at 5:42.
Rating: D+. The problem here is obvious: pushing Kane is fine but the idea of having Kane go over Rollins and Balor in back to back weeks for the sake of setting up Kane vs. Strowman is nonsense. Kane is one of the biggest stars ever and is a monster by definition. That’s not something which requires a lot of effort but for some reason we’re sacrificing far more valuable wrestlers for the sake of pushing the guy.
Post match Dean hits Dirty Deeds on Kane but Sheamus and Cesaro come in to help beat him down. Ambrose and Rollins both get Tombstoned, making it THREE former World Champions Kane has decimated in the span of ten minutes. Oh and one thing missing when the Shield was being beaten down: anyone chanting for Reigns to make the save. Isn’t that interesting?
We look at the opening sequence. Again.
Bryan is being stretchered out.
Miz and the Miztourage are ready to celebrate and go into their locker room. They find a bag of trash, which Miz interprets as Braun Strowman coming back. Terror ensues.
Post break Miz runs into Braun and asks him for help with Strowman. Kane says he’s on his own.
Recap of Strowman being destroyed at TLC.
Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
This is a Trick or Street Fight, meaning the ring is surrounded by Halloween decorations. For costumes, we have Santa and Mrs. Claus vs. Chad 2 Bad/Tex Ferguson (from Southpaw Regional Wrestling) respectively. Slater is sent into a bucket of apples to start so Rhyno makes a save and puts pumpkins on their heads. Heath finds some candy corn kendo sticks but it takes too long to set up a table.
Anderson and Gallows beat Slater down, including shoving pumpkin filling in Slater’s face. Karl crotches himself on a skeleton though just go with it) and there’s a pie to the face. Slater makes the save with the kendo sticks but gets beaten down again. Anderson puts a pumpkin on his own head and Gallows does the same, blinding himself in the process. It takes too long though and Rhyno gets off a table, setting up a spinebuster to put Anderson through said table for the pin at 4:50.
Rating: F. No. Moving on.
Cesaro and Sheamus tell Miz that Strowman couldn’t possibly be back yet. They’re no team though. So is this supposed to be WWE’s version of a horror story? Just because it’s October? It was more effective when Reigns attempted to murder Strowman and it’s not exactly spooky, especially when Strowman is likely back this week or next. On a related note, is Kane getting this kind of a push because he’s a monster and it’s the Halloween season? If so, that’s rather dumb even by WWE’s limited standards.
Elias, with a new guitar, is in the ring for a song. He sings the Ballad of Jason Jordan, complete with shots of Jordan being hit with a guitar last week. Jordan comes out to clean house and breaks Elias’ new guitar.
Miz and the Miztourage go to leave but Angle cuts them off, saying they’re staying or else.
Here are Enzo Amore and Drew Gulak to mock Angle again. Kalisto isn’t getting the title back you see and Gulak is ready to help prove that. Gulak says Kalisto is S-O-F-T, which doesn’t sit well with Enzo.
Kalisto vs. Drew Gulak
Drew jumps him to start but charges into a boot in the corner. Kalisto’s middle rope corkscrew dive and the handspring enziguri sets up the hurricanrana driver. The springboard Salida Del Sol ends Gulak at 59 seconds.
Post match Enzo lays Kalisto out.
Miz is trying to find a way out.
Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James
James is challenging and scores early with a running kick to the chest. The hurricanrana out of the corner has Bliss reeling and a dropkick puts her outside. Back from a break with Bliss working on a neck crank before switching to a chinlock (totally different you see). Something like an STO gets two and Bliss stands on Mickie’s hair for good measure.
That’s enough to fire Mickie up but Bliss slams her off the top to take over again. An enziguri off the top lets Mickie score with the Thesz press for two. Some rollups are good for some two counts but Bliss punches her in the face for the pin to retain at 11:25. Seriously it was just a right hand.
Rating: D. Well that happened. This was a lot of chinlocking and not much else, which doesn’t make for a strong main event. I was hoping for something like Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks here but instead I got little more than a bad women’s match. James isn’t the most interesting challenger and losing to a right hand is about as low as you can go.
Miz and the Miztourage go to leave and, after cutting back to Bliss celebrating, get in the car, where of course there is a camera waiting. They pull off and are immediately stopped by a waiting garbage truck. Braun comes out of the garbage as we keep cutting to Miz and company in the vein of a bad horror movie.
Strowman poses (in clean clothes despite BEING IN A GARBAGE TRUCK FOR EIGHT DAYS) and chases them out of the limo. They head into the arena, where Bliss is still posing, where Strowman throws Dallas onto the stage. The Miztourage save Miz from going through the table so Strowman takes them to the ring for FIVE running powerslams. Axel goes through the announcers’ table to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This is a show where two good matches were powerless to save the show. I’m not even sure where to begin, but we’ll start with Stephanie. Yeah I know it’s her character and we know that’s what she does but come on: the legacy of Raw is destroyed? That’s what we’re taking out of last week’s show?
The same show that had Buzz Aldrin, Florence Henderson and that cowboy whose name I can’t remember as “guest stars”? The same show that had a Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump minis match? The same show that had Jim Ross’ unconscious head the against the back of Vince’s underwear before Vince, in a cowboy hat, skipped around the ring with his pants around his ankles? NONE OF THAT compares to last week? That’s what we’re supposed to buy as a top story?
Ignoring the Halloween street fight (On the night BEFORE the show THAT ACTUALLY AIRS ON FREAKING HALLOWEEN!), there’s the whole booking the show like a horror movie. Strowman looked like Michael Myers and Kane (who was originally based on Myers) it beating World Champions into the ground. The more I think about it, the more I think they really are pushing monsters like this for the sake of the season of the year, which is as dumb as you can get. Maybe Kane was supposed to be Wyatt, but I can’t imagine Wyatt getting this kind of a push no matter how much more sense it would have made.
On top of that, as of now, we’re not even getting the match that the finishing segment seems to be setting up. Based on what we saw, Strowman should be going after Miz and the Intercontinental Title. What are we getting instead? Strowman vs. Kane and Miz vs. Corbin. After Survivor Series, do you think Strowman is going to go after the title? Of course not, because he’ll want revenge or something like that. That’s fine once in awhile, but when is the last time you remember a feud being after the title? Let them build that thing up once in a while instead of always going for the personal stuff.
The problem here comes down to one simple thing: Kane and Stephanie McMahon came out as the dominant forces on this show. We have two weeks to go before Survivor Series and at the moment, we know one member of the Raw team. In theory people like Kane, Balor and Strowman will be included (it’s not like there are many other options) but none of this has focused on the pay per view.
All we hear about is how it’s Raw vs. Smackdown and champion vs. champion but that’s not enough. The titles aren’t on the line and I need a lot more than bragging rights to draw my interest. There’s nothing going on for this show and, other than Kane and Stephanie (and Strowman, to a lesser degree), there’s no reason to care about most of what’s coming up. Aside from the raid, all we have to go on is some graphics and a one off raid. Things could change, but this show was a disaster that turned me off on the pay per view.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
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Ring of Honor TV – October 25, 2017: I’m Not Really Laughing
Ring of Honor
Date: October 25, 2017
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana
I’m assuming it’s time to start the build towards Final Battle and aside from bringing in an outsider to challenge for the title, things seem to be heading towards Cody defending the World Title against Jay Lethal. I know there’s no story there yet but it’s not like there’s anything else to do. Let’s get to it.
We recap everyone wanting to challenge Kenny King for the TV Title. Tonight it’s a four way for the #1 contendership.
Opening sequence.
Marty Scurll vs. Jay White
Now this could be interesting. Marty grabs the ankle lock to start and takes White to the mat. Jay can’t shake off a front facelock but can manage to put Marty on the top. That means a bird pose and it’s a standoff. Back up and Jay takes him down with little effort, setting up a full Muta Lock.
Since that hold can’t last long, they hit a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. Ever the cheater, Marty gets caught putting his feet on the ropes. The referee gets in his face and the distraction lets Marty poke Jay in the eye. Back from a break with Marty hitting something like a reverse Angle Slam for two. It’s time to start in on the arm but Marty takes his time with a charge, earning him a chop.
White wastes no time in swinging away and grabs a suplex for two. A deadlift German suplex gets two more but Marty is back with something like an octopus hold. That goes nowhere so Marty switches into the standing chickenwing. White slips out and gets two off a rollup, only to have Marty throw him the umbrella. Since the referee is half blind, he grabs it as well to take it away from White. That allows Marty to hit a low blow, setting up a small package for the pin at 12:27.
Rating: B-. The ending didn’t work very well for me but these two are both favorites of mine. I’m hoping White doesn’t go back to Japan anytime soon as he’s one of the most consistent wrestlers on the roster. Scurll is someone who always seems to have potential but I’m not sure he’s going to be moving up to the next level anytime.
The Addiction is ready to take care of Jay Lethal Kushida whenever that match takes place.
Lethal is ready to deal with the Addiction because they don’t show Ring of Honor the respect it deserves.
Dawgs vs. Tempura Boyz
The Boyz charge in and start the fight in a hurry before snapping off some German suplexes to take Titus and Ferrara down. The bigger Dawgs are right back though with Sho being sent outside for a suicide dive. Rhett runs Yo down and we settle into a regular match. Will chokes Sho down and a dropkick gives Titus two as we take a break. Back with Rhett grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. Sho gets in a knee to the ribs and the hot tag brings in Yo to clean a few rooms of the house.
Some running knees in the corner (think Sasha Banks) give Yo two as everything breaks down. A superkick into a powerbomb backstabber gets two on Ferrara but Titus slugs the Boyz down with ease. The Boyz start firing off kicks to the head, followed by something like a Shining Wizard for two on Rhett. Ferrara blasts Sho with a wind up lariat and a gordbuster/top rope clothesline to the back (it’s kind of hard to describe) ends Yo at 10:20.
Rating: D+. Neither of these teams are doing anything for me and the fact that the Boyz are heading back to Japan doesn’t cause me any issues. They’ve never been interesting and the Dawgs don’t seem much better. I’m also not a fan of the “screw the tagging” formula and it was in full blast here. It wasn’t a miserable watch but this was almost everything I didn’t like about tag wrestling at once.
The Bullet Club talk about Cody’s contract and laugh hysterically.
Back from a break and they’re still laughing. That made this so much better in an odd way.
Mark Briscoe vs. Chuckie T. vs. Punishment Martinez vs. Shane Taylor
One fall to a finish for a future TV Title shot with Caprice Coleman on commentary. Thankfully there are tags here so it’s Chuckie vs. Martinez to start. A single chop has no effect on Martinez so it’s off to Mark instead. Briscoe hammers away with strikes and punches, only to get clotheslined inside out. Now Chuckle is willing to come back in, only to have his crossbody countered into a World’s Strongest Slam. Well that didn’t work.
Martinez stares Shane down but it’s a missile dropkick from Chuckie to take both of them down. Stereo dives take the monsters down again and we take a break. Back with Mark and Chuckie speeding things up, only to have Mark cut it off with some Red Neck Kung Fu poses. The monsters come in again and punch Chuckie down for daring to interfere. Mark is back up and kicks Shane into the corner, only to get destroyed by Martinez.
A release falcon arrow of all things (looked great) gets two but here’s Shane to clear out the ring again. Shane’s middle rope splash gets two on Chuckie and NOW we get the big showdown. The entirety of the fight: a double clothesline to put them both down and a pair of missed splashes. Back from a second break with Shane and Martinez slugging it out with Punishment getting the better of it until a headbutt staggers him into a corner.
The normal sized guys come back in with Chuckie hitting a sitout powerbomb for two on Mark. Martinez is back up though and it’s a springboard flip dive (geez) to take out everyone else. Back in and a hanging piledriver (think Orton’s DDT but with a piledriver instead) plants Shane, only to have Mark come in with a Death Valley Driver. The Froggy Bow gives Mark the pin and the title shot at 13:30.
Rating: C+. This was the kind of all over the place match that it should have been, which makes the tag match look a little more out of place. Mark winning the title shot is a great idea as him winning the TV Title later in the year while Jay has his match against Bully Ray at Final Battle is an interesting plan. Good enough match here and it did its job.
Post match Jay comes out and says Mark needs to be more loyal to the team. Mark is confused to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This feels like the build to the last big set of TV before Final Battle, which is where the real stories will take place. Mark vs. Jay has potential, though we might be a long time away from that. The rest of the show wasn’t great, though the lack of star power didn’t do the show any favors. Good enough episode but nothing you need to see.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996: The Austin Era Really Begins
Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
I had three options for an older redo this year (this one, 1988 and 1992) but this one had the most Survivor Series matches plus Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart, which was more than enough to sway me over. This is an interesting time for the company as they’re just starting to get squashed by WCW but the future is here tonight. Let’s get to it.
Free For All: Team Bart Gunn vs. Team Billy Gunn
Bart Gunn, Aldo Montoya, Bob Holly, Jesse James
Billy Gunn, Salvatore Sincere, Justin Bradshaw, The Sultan
This would be the Kickoff Show today. I’ve actually never reviewed this and there’s a chance I’ve never even seen it before. The team names are pretty arbitrary as there’s little rhyme or reason for these pairings, save for maybe the brothers, meaning no one is really a captain. James (Road Dogg of course) is a country singer here and the REAL Double J as part of a stupid angle with the departed Jeff Jarrett. Ok so I might have With My Baby Tonight (his self-performed theme song) on my iPod. At least the angle wasn’t a total loss.
As the Sultan (Rikishi) and Aldo (Justin Credible as a Portuguese man with a jockstrap for a mask) start us off, JR mentions that Austin vs. Hart is a #1 contenders match, which really wasn’t mentioned very often on the actual pay per view. Montoya actually does some damage to Sultan by dropkicking him out to the floor but a cover results in him being launched off. A bad looking piledriver sets up the camel clutch and Montoya is eliminated in a hurry.
Holly comes in with a bulldog as we see Aldo walk up the ramp opposite the cameras (an MSG standard). Sultan grabs a chinlock and we take a break to come back with Sultan slamming Bart on the floor so Sincere (a flamboyant yet still generic Italian) can baseball slide him in the face. Back in and Bart grabs a side slam to get rid of Sincere and tie the match up.
Bradshaw (who JR says is going to be something special) comes in and kicks the freshly tagged Holly in the face. We go to a split screen to see Austin running Dok Hendrix out of his dressing room and come back to Bradshaw hitting the Clothesline From an Undisclosed Location to eliminate Holly.
Jesse immediate rolls Bradshaw up for the elimination (ignore Billy kicking Jesse and breaking up the pin at two while the referee keeps counting anyway), leaving us with Jesse and Bart vs. Billy and Sultan. A rollup gets rid of Sultan but the Fameasser (yet to be named) does the same to Jesse. We’re down to a battle of the Gunns and Bart gets tied up in the ropes for some trash talking. Billy calls him an SOB, meaning he isn’t likely to get a Christmas card from his own mother. Bart stands up for Mama Gunn and hits a running forearm for the pin.
Rating: C-. This is a good example of a match where you have to consider the purpose. They weren’t trying to settle any big score here or blow the roof off the place. This was about getting the fans warmed up before we got to the real show and the fast pace did that well enough. Billy vs. Bart wasn’t anything interesting but at least it was a little story to tie things together. Nothing good but it did its job well enough.
The opening video looks at the WWF taking over New York (including the Hall of Fame banquet at a hotel, which would be the last one for seven and a half years) before going into a look at the two major matches. You know you have a stacked card when you’re getting hyped over two matches that don’t even include Undertaker vs. Mankind or any of the show’s namesake matches.
Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog
Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon, Henry Godwinn, Phineas Godwinn
Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Marty Jannetty, Leif Cassidy
This is Furnas and Lafon’s WWF debut as they were brought in to challenge Owen and Bulldog for the Tag Team Titles. Marty and Lafon (I can never remember which is Furnas and which is Lafon) start things off with a nice little acrobatics display, capped off by a hard shot to Marty’s jaw. Leif comes in instead as the announcers talk about slander. The slow pace continues and it’s off to Phineas for a headlock. JR: “You ever see Hilary Clinton do that?”
For some reason Leif thinks it’s a good idea to slap Phineas in the face and spit on him. Well to be fair, given all the sweat and liquid on his overalls, it’s not the worst idea in the world. Owen comes in to wake the crowd up and it’s time to pick Phineas apart. The heels start working Phineas over as JR wants a third referee out here.
Marty hits a good looking back elbow to the jaw as the announcers start talking about Bret, though at least they tie it in to Owen. Today that would go off on a tangent and turn into ripping on Byron Saxton. I mean, he deserves it but it’s still annoying. Marty goes up top so Phineas tries a superplex. JR: “Now how stupid was that?” Oh dang it I always forget how annoying heel JR is. Even heel Cole wasn’t this bad.
Henry comes in, kicks Marty in the gut, and Slop Drops him for the first elimination. Not that it means much as Owen rolls Henry up to tie the score five seconds later. Phineas cleans house (has a fit, whatever) but Bulldog makes a blind tag and powerslams him to go up 3-2. Furnas comes in to speed things WAY up (and turn up the quality as well), only to miss a dropkick, which JR calls one of the best in the business. Like I said, heel JR wasn’t the best.
Leif comes in to cover and the former powerlifter sends him flying on the kickout. The bad guys get smart with a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick to wipe Furnas out in a great looking visual. JR goes into yet another rant about the referees not catching the heels cheating, which is a really weird complaint for a heel to have.
Cassidy misses a charge and Furnas brings in Lafon for a snappy looking reverse superplex to get us down to two on two. The lack of a reaction to Leif being eliminated really shouldn’t surprise anyone as he was just so out of place in this match. Owen comes in for a belly to belly and a middle rope elbow (both of those looked very smooth) for two. A low blow to Furnas has Vince freaking out but JR, the heel commentator here, lets it go right past him. Again: it was a bad character and you could sense he wasn’t a fan of the whole thing.
It’s back to Bulldog who is quickly sunset flipped for the elimination, which is a big deal as it means Furnas and Lafon can pin Owen and the Bulldog in a two on two match. Bulldog leaves Lafon with a parting gift of a chop block though and Owen follows it up with the Sharpshooter. Furnas is in for the save and hits that dropkick of his (basically a dropkick with a backflip), followed by a German suplex for the final pin.
Rating: B. This was more like it for the opener as they set up the next challengers for the Tag Team Titles, though the first part with the Godwinns really brings it down. It also doesn’t help that the crowd didn’t care for the most part, and can you really blame them? The good guys were people making their debuts and hog farmers. It’s good wrestling but not the brightest idea.
Paul Bearer insists he WILL NOT get into the cage and be hung above the ring. Mankind will crush Undertaker like the cockroaches he used to eat for dinner.
Undertaker vs. Mankind
Bearer is in an individual cage above the ring and if Undertaker wins, Bearer is his for five minutes. The entrance is an important one as Undertaker descends from the rafters and debuts the sleeveless leather attire that would become his signature look for the next several years. It marks the evolution of the original character to the newer, sleeker fighting machine that could hurt people at will.
It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Undertaker using a drop toehold (?!?!?) followed by a fireman’s carry into a cross armbreaker. Undertaker gets smart by working over Mankind’s hand, which JR thinks is illegal. Mankind takes it into the crowd and is quickly backdropped right back to ringside but pops up for a cannonball off the apron. There’s something to be said about someone launching their body at someone else.
Undertaker’s comeback is cut off by a Texas piledriver and the Mandible Claw goes on. Undertaker is smart enough to send Mankind straight outside for the save and both guys are spent from the physicality. A kick to the chest sends Mankind flying hard into the barricade for a sick sounding THUD. You just can’t fake that kind of brutality. Well you can but it’s easier to believe it’s real with Foley.
Old School is broken up so Undertaker opts to punch Mankind in the face multiple times. The chokeslam is countered with the Claw, only to be countered by a big chokeslam with the camera going wide for an awesome visual. Mankind is back up though (as always) and pulls out a spike to stab Undertaker a bit. Amazingly enough, Undertaker doesn’t care to be stabbed and Tombstones Mankind for the pin instead.
Rating: B. This was a BIG change of pace for Undertaker as he was moving faster and acting like a much more well rounded wrestler, which he would be for a long time. These two were solid together as always as they just beat the heck out of each other for long stretches of time and that’s always worth a watch. This is one of their lesser known matches but it’s certainly entertaining.
Post match the cage is lowered and Undertaker goes right for Bearer, only to have the Executioner run out for the save, allowing Bearer to escape. That would be Undertaker’s next match before he continued attempting to murder Bearer and Mankind.
Sunny comes out to replace Lawler on commentary. When you look at so many of the women who would come after her, Sunny really is remarkable. She looks great but she’s also dripping with charisma, which so few women (or men for that matter) have at this level.
Team Helmsley laughs off the idea of Team Marc Mero because they’re a man down due to Mark Henry being injured.
Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero
Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush
Marc Mero, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia, Jake Roberts
There’s a lot to cover here. Helmsley is Intercontinental Champion, having stolen the title from Mero with the help of the now departed (to WCW) Mr. Perfect. The Stalker is Barry Windham who used to be a military themed guy but is now just Barry Windham with a big mustache. Roberts is Mark Henry’s replacement as Lawler and Roberts are feuding over Jake’s alcoholism.
Oh and it’s Rocky’s debut after weeks of videos talking about how amazing he is. The mind blowing part: they undersold what he would become. The commentary gets even more entertaining as Sunny goes nuts ripping on Sable, claiming to be all natural even down to her hair.
We hit the stall button to start with no contact for the first two minutes. After several tags, Goldust and Mero finally lock up as the announcers discuss Mr. Perfect without saying he’s gone. Marc’s armbars don’t go anywhere so it’s off to the Stalker as JR rips on Barry’s attire. Helmsley comes in and immediately runs from Mero, meaning we get Crush vs. Rocky for his in ring debut. Thankfully that lasts all of ten seconds before it’s off to Lawler for some great selling. Vince actually mentions the name Dwayne Johnson as Sunny suggests being able to take Rocky all the way to the top.
The heels start taking turns on Rocky until he backdrops Helmsley for a breather. Jake gets the hot tag to clean house despite looking a good bit out of shape and very pale. Lawler comes in and slowly hammers away while making alcohol jokes. The DDT scores out of nowhere and it’s 4-3 in a hurry. The mustache with the Windham attached suplexes Goldust for two but a shot from the apron sets up the Curtain Call to tie us up.
Both captains come in as the crowd stays mostly silent. Again though, is there any real reason to care? Crush isn’t interesting, Roberts looks awful and no one knows who Rocky is yet. Helmsley grabs an abdominal stretch and Goldust pulls on the arm, sending heel JR into his second frenzy in an hour.
The referee finally catches Helmsley cheating to break the hold and it’s a Merosault (moonsault pres) to get rid of Hunter. Crush comes in and gets dropkicked to the floor, only to avoid Mero’s slingshot dive. As we’re watching the replays, the announcers completely miss Crush giving Mero the heart punch (exactly what it sounds like) for the elimination. Jake gets the same thing and is eliminated ten seconds later.
So we’re down to Rocky, meaning we get a closeup of his ridiculous looking hair. To his credit, even Rock has said he looked ridiculous at this point. Rocky slugs both guys down and does that stupid arm flailing thing of his. A crossbody puts both guys down and Crush heart punches Goldust by mistake. Rocky hits a second crossbody to get rid of Crush and a shoulder breaker ends Goldust for the win. The pin gets a nice pop, though it might just be because the match is finally over.
Rating: D. They accomplished the goal of giving Rocky a good rub to start (hence why you have goons like Crush around to take a fall like this) but this was WAY too long. You could probably cut out five to ten minutes here and do just about the same thing. Windham was worthless (as he was for most of the time after 1990 or so) and there were way too many stretches of boring non-action dragging it down.
Now it’s time for the real main event as we recap Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin. I know Shawn vs. Sid is going on last but make no mistake about it: this was the most important and anticipated match of the night. Bret had been gone since losing the WWF World Title to Shawn at Wrestlemania XII and Austin has turned into a disrespectful rebel who doesn’t care about legacies or what anyone before him has done. You can see the fire in Austin’s eyes and Bret is the only one that can stop him. Or slow him down at least because there may be no stopping Austin anymore.
Austin says he’s ready and isn’t worried.
Bret says this is about respect, which he’ll receive from Austin no matter what.
Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart
The winner gets the title shot next month. Even Vince has to acknowledge the face pop Austin receives here in New York. Bret gets a great face reaction of his own but Austin really isn’t impressed with the pyro. JR thinks this might come down to a submission, which might be some great foreshadowing for Wrestlemania. He goes even further by saying Bret isn’t a clown or a trashman because he’s a wrestler. Uh, Doink and Droese were wrestlers to Jim. We’re still not ready to go as Vince possibly spoils the main event by saying the winner of this gets Sid.
Austin flips him off to start and we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start as JR goes back to that submission idea. Vince: “How ironic would it be if Steve Austin put the Sharpshooter on Bret Hart and made him submit?” They trade wristlocks to start and you can see some extra fire in Bret for this match.
Bret takes him down and stays on the arm with a hammerlock until a hard elbow to the jaw puts him down. Austin keeps slugging away until Bret pulls him into another armbar. Bret: “ASK HIM!” Did Jericho get that from Bret? Steve comes right back with a hot shot and starts choking on the bottom rope.
We hit the chinlock and JR goes back to that submission idea again. That’s three times now and it’s really not adding anything new. Back up and it’s time for the slugout with Austin easily taking over as you would expect. Bret comes back with his usual offense but gets shoved chest first into the buckle, again as is his custom. Austin’s superplex is broken up though and Bret goes all the way to the top for the elbow.
They head outside with Austin driving the back into the post as the brawling continues to favor Austin while Bret wins the wrestling. Makes sense. Of course as soon as I say that, Bret throws him through (yes through) the barricade and Austin is suddenly reeling. Just because it’s required, they fight over the announcers’ table with Austin taking over (JR: “It seems that it always happens to the Spanish guys!”) and dropping an elbow onto Bret. The table actually doesn’t break though in a very rare sight.
Back in and we hit the abdominal stretch as Austin continues to know how to focus on a body part. The referee catches Austin holding the ropes (which doesn’t add leverage but helps block a hiptoss counter) so it’s time for a slugout, capped off by Bret hitting a Stun Gun for two. Austin is right back up with a top rope superplex but Bret does the lifting the legs spot (looked horrible here as they were both down for several seconds before going for it) for two.
The Stunner hits out of nowhere for two and JR makes a REALLY good save by saying Bret only kicked out because Austin rolled him away from the ropes. That protects the move, which is completely lost on today’s product. Austin grabs a Texas Cloverleaf, followed by a Bow and Arrow of all things. Unfortunately Austin makes the mistake of trying to mat wrestle with Bret and has to grab the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter. Back up and Austin grabs the Million Dollar Dream but Bret walks the turnbuckle and flips back onto Austin for the surprise pin.
Rating: A+. Like this would get anything else. I know most people (including myself) say that the I Quit match made Austin a star but he’s not getting to that match without this one. Austin was always a great talent but this was the moment where you knew he was ready for the main event stage. Notice something important about the ending: Bret caught Austin for the pin rather than really decisively beating him. It shows that as great as Austin is, Bret was just that much better and used his experience to win.
Make no mistake about it though: this is a masterpiece and one of the best matches of all time. Unfortunately there was a rematch that is somehow even better and this is a bit forgotten as a result. I’ve heard people say they like this one better and I really can’t argue against that. It’s a must see match and an incredible lesson in giving someone the rub of their career.
JR: “I don’t think anyone, including Shawn Michaels or Sid, could have beaten Bret Hart in this ring on this night.” Vince: “I totally disagree with that.” No followup or anything and the tone was very heelish.
Sid says he’ll win.
Faarooq/Vader/Razor Ramon/Diesel vs. Flash Funk/Savio Vega/Yokozuna/???
Here’s another match with a bunch of notes. Faarooq debuts his traditional Nation look here, thankfully ditching the ridiculous blue gladiator gear. Flash Funk is also making his debut after years as the far better 2 Cold Scorpio. That would be fake Razor and Diesel (duh) with the former just looking horrible. Fake Diesel at least looks like the real thing if you look at him from the right angle. Again, the original idea here wasn’t bad: it’s the gimmicks that got them over instead of the people. Unfortunately that falls apart because Fake Razor looked horrible.
Jim Cornette (Vader’s manager) sits in on commentary and JR says he’s the same size as Yokozuna. Cornette sounds like he wants to cry when he sees Funk for the first time. JR: “I’ve never seen the yellow and red look so good here in the Garden.” The mystery partner is Jimmy Snuka, which gets a mild reaction from the MSG fans and a groan from the audience at home who already saw a legend return with Roberts earlier.
Vader slugs Funk down to start but is quickly sent outside for a moonsault to the floor. You can hear the ECW chants before they even start. Back in and Vader gets tired of this flying nonsense and powerbomb Funk in half. Yokozuna comes in for the embarrassing fat man offense as JR rips on the refereeing again. It’s off to Vega vs. Ramon as the crowd isn’t sure what to care about here.
JR and Cornette argue about whether JR could manage a Wendy’s. JR: “I could if you were in town.” Razor screws up the fall away slam and thankfully it’s off to Funk vs. Diesel so we can get something watchable. Vega comes back in and gets pummeled in the corner as this is already dragging horribly. Snuka get the tag to a pretty anemic pop and quickly runs into Diesel’s knee. In a big surprise, Snuka actually slams Vader. Not bad for a guy who hasn’t been around in forever.
Jimmy almost runs over for the tag back to Vega, who hits maybe 10% of a spinwheel kick on Diesel. Faarooq rams him into the post and the Jackknife ends Vega to hopefully start wrapping this up. The Superfly Splash ends Ramon less than a minute later and then the remaining six come in for the big brawl, resulting in a massive DQ and no winner.
Rating: F-. If there’s a worse Survivor Series match not involving four clowns, my therapy must be working because I’ve completely blocked it from my mind. This was HORRIBLE with eight people that the crowd wasn’t interested in seeing and a nothing ending that only made things worse. Absolutely terrible here as they couldn’t even have Vader survive to give him a bit of a rub?
We recap the main event which is basically Shawn fighting another monster but this time it’s someone he used to trust. Yeah this is hardly anything interesting and feels like a major letdown after Austin vs. Hart. Also, given how badly the ratings were doing around this time, there’s almost no way Shawn is keeping the title here.
WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid
Shawn gets a John Cena style pop as a sign of the times. Sid is challenging of course and pounds Shawn down early on with JR getting right to the point: Sid isn’t technically sound but he can hit you really hard, which is all he needs to do. Shawn speeds things up with some left jabs and a headlock takeover.
The threat of a powerbomb sends Shawn bailing to the outside and we have a breather. Back in and Shawn gets smart by going after the knee, including a Figure Four (actually done on the proper leg). The hold is turned over and Sid sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Shawn goes right back to the knee and the fans boo him out of the Garden. Thankfully they catch on to the idea and Sid blasts Shawn to the floor with a clothesline.
Back in and Sid gets in a few kicks to the face, followed by a big backbreaker for two. We hit a cobra clutch of all things (Sid would use that occasionally and it always looked weird for someone his size) before a chokeslam drops the champ. Shawn hits his flying forearm and is loudly booed, though the nipup draws a high pitched pop.
Sid grabs a camera and hits Shawn’s manager Jose Lothario in the chest, followed by Sweet Chin Music to the giant. With Jose grabbing his chest, Shawn goes to check on him instead of retaining the title. Sid tries to throw Shawn back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Sid to hit him with the camera. The powerbomb gives Sid the title (somehow the first title he ever won) to a BIG face pop.
Rating: B+. I don’t like the ending with the camera thing but it’s still a really well put together match. This was pretty much Ric Flair vs. Sid and since Shawn knows how to wrestle a Flair match as well as anyone ever (including Flair), there was almost no way this wasn’t going to work. They let Shawn walk Sid through the match and that was all they ever needed to do.
Shawn checks on Jose as Sid poses to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as the Survivor Series matches were horrible but everything else ranges from very good to masterpiece. That’s more than enough to say this is a great show and worth checking out. If nothing else there are so many debuts and repackages here that it’s worth checking out for pure history. The MSG crowd helps provide so much energy and the show is just a lot of fun (save for the one horrible match, which only lasts about ten minutes). See this one at least once but watch Bret vs. Austin as many times as you can.
Ratings Comparison
Team Jesse James vs. Team Billy Gunn
Original: N/A
2012 Redo: N/A
2016 Redo: C-
Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog
Original: B-
2012 Redo: C+
2016 Redo: B
Undertaker vs. Mankind
Original: C+
2012 Redo: B
2016 Redo: B
Team Jerry Lawler vs. Team Jake Roberts
Original: D
2012 Redo: C+
2016 Redo: D
Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart
Original: A+
2012 Redo: A+
2016 Redo: A+
Team Vader vs. Team Yokozuna
Original: D-
2012 Redo: F
2016 Redo: F-
Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid
Original: C-
2012 Redo: B
2016 Redo: B+
Overall Rating
Original: B-
2012 Redo: B+
2016 Redo: B
This was mostly the same as four years ago, save for me liking Rocky’s debut a lot more back then. That smile must have made me go weak in the knees.
Here’s the original review is you’re interested:
And the 2012 Redo:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/04/survivor-series-count-up-1996-thats-blue-chip-right-there/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 1995: One of Those Good Ideas
Survivor Series 1995
Date: November 19, 1995
Location: USAir Arena, Landover, Maryland
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross
Aside from the main event, there really isn’t much else to talk about. The rest of the show is dedicated to the midcard, save for the return of the Undertaker. He’ll be captaining the Dark Side to face the Royals, led by King Mabel, who helped crush Undertaker’s face a few months prior. Let’s get to it.
We start with Razor Ramon, talking about being in the first Wild Card match. The idea here was to take faces and heels and mix them up. It was an interesting concept but like most Survivor Series matches, it didn’t mean anything and wasn’t done again.
Mr. Perfect is introduced as a surprise commentator.
We actually get an opening video which is about Bret going A-Diesel hunting. The idea is old vs. new. It’s no countout and No DQ tonight, basically meaning a street fight.
BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs
BodyDonnas: Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, 1-2-3 Kid
Underdogs: Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly
The idea here is people that care about their looks vs. jobbers. Horowitz scored one of the biggest upsets ever over Skip (Chris Candido, a fitness guru. He would later be joined by Prichard under the name Zip. Their manager was the famous one though: Sunny). Jannetty needs no introduction as a jobber.
The Kid is a mystery partner who is freshly heel here. By freshly I mean this is his first match as a heel. Razor comes out to go after the Kid who screwed him over on Raw on Monday. Raw is finally a big deal at this point too. Razor is Intercontinental Champion of course. Radford is Louis Spicolli in a grunge gimmick. Holly is a racecar driver and Hakushi is a Japanese wrestler with tattoos all over his torso.
Prichard and Jannetty start things off and Marty has to fight out of the heel corner. The Kid holds him there but Prichard hits Kid with a knee by mistake. The BodyDonnas huddle on the floor until it’s off to Radford vs. Marty. Radford is called a BodyDonna in training because he’s pretty fat. Here’s Holly to face Rad and he takes Radford over with a hurricanrana. Radford tries the same thing but gets powerbombed down.
Off to Hakushi who is pretty freshly face. He gets behind Radford but walks into a spinebuster. Off to the Kid who hits a top rope splash on Hakushi for two and it’s time for Captain Skip. Hakushi escapes a belly to back superplex and it’s back to Holly who speeds things up. Prichard comes in as the fans want Barry. A powerbomb counters a hurricanrana from Holly but Tom misses a moonsault. Holly hits a top rope cross body for the elimination. Skip immediately comes in and rolls up Holly to tie it back up.
Hakushi comes in again and trips up Skip before elbowing him in the face. A Vader Bomb hits knees though and Skip gets control back. A shot to the chest takes Skip down so here’s the Kid again. The fans want Barry but it’s Hakushi taking over with a Muta Elbow in the corner. A top rope shoulder takes Kid down for two but Hakushi misses a springboard splash. Razor is watching in the back. Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head and Radford gets the easy pin.
Barry comes in and gets pounded down and the fans almost explode. Naturally this match would be the end of his push because that’s how it works in the WWF, though I don’t think Horowitz had a long shelf life. Radford and the Kid double team Horowitz but he comes back with a jawbreaker to Rad. Skip tells Rad not to pin Barry yet because he wants to get the pin himself.
Radford hits a Hennig neck snap as Hennig is stunned at the reaction to Horowitz. Rad stops to exercise and gets cradled by Barry for the pin. It’s Skip/The Kid vs. Barry/Marty. Horowitz gets distracted by a double team and the Kid dropkicks him in the back, setting up a legdrop for the elimination. So it’s Marty down two on one but he avoids a charging Skip in the corner.
A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Marty and the Rocker Dropper (a fancy Fameasser) puts Skip down and Marty goes up. Sunny crotches him but Skip gets countered into a Superbomb (powerbomb off the top, which would be Skip’s finisher in ECW) for the elimination. It’s one on one now and a missile dropkick gets two for the Kid. A moonsault misses Marty though and they’re both down. Jannetty dropkicks him down for two and here comes Sid (Kid’s partner). A Rocker Dropper takes the Kid down for two but Sid guillotines Marty on the ropes and Kid steals the pin.
Rating: B. This was a good match to open things up with, especially since I don’t think anyone would have been able to buy Barry Horowitz captaining anything but an opening match team. Other than that though, the action here was good and it set the Kid up as a somewhat big time heel which is what he needed so soon after a turn. Good opener.
Razor threw a fit in the back after the loss, throwing a monitor against the wall in the process.
Three members of I guess you would say the heel Wild Card team (Dean Douglas, Owen and Yokozuna) say that Razor needs to channel his energy into their match later, since he’s their partner.
Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze
Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe, Lioness Asuka
Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, Chaparita Asari
Bertha is an overweight and not incredibly attractive woman and is Blayze’s main rival for Blayze’s Women’s Title. She tells the fans to shut up in an attempt to get people interested in this match. The rest are Japanese wrestlers who didn’t spend a lot of time in the WWF. Asari and Asuka start things off with Asuka taking her head off with a spinwheel kick. At least I think that’s what happened because we’re getting a wide shot of the arena for the opening bell. Asari, a member of the face team, stands about 4’9 and is a tiny thing whereas Asuka looks like a monster.
Off to Blayze who is more Asuka’s size for a slam on the Lioness. Back to Asari who debuts the Sky Twister Press (a corkscrew moonsault) in America. Asuka doesn’t sell it but you can’t ask everything of her. Vince has no idea what to call it but JR is there to clean up for him. Blayze comes back in and hits a German suplex to eliminate Asuka. It makes the names easier to keep track of if nothing else.
Watanabe comes in but misses a dive. Blayze sends her to the floor and does hit her dive to take over. Hasegawa comes in and hits five rolling double underhook suplexes on Watanabe as Perfect makes sexist remarks. Watanabe hits a seated senton off the top for two as this selling thing is still an issue. Aja Kong, a total monster, comes in with no tag and is immediately kicked in the face and suplexed by Hasegawa. Another Rock Bottom suplex puts her down but Hasegawa jumps into a kick to the chest. Something like a belly to back suplex eliminates Hasegawa to make it 3-3.
Asari comes in and is quickly dispatched by a middle rope splash. If you can’t see the ending of this match coming, you fail your exam. Blayze comes in but tags out almost immediately to Inoue. Inoue looks like a cross between a Rocker and the Ultimate Warrior. By the time I finish typing that, a seated senton eliminates her. Kong put out three girls in about 90 seconds.
So it’s Blayze vs. Faye, Kong and Watanabe. All three get in the ring at once but Watanabe stays in. A snap suplex gets two for the champion and a slow motion piledriver gets the pin to make it 2-1. Faye comes in and after some basic shots in the corner, gets caught in a German suplex to make it one on one. Kong hits a superplex for two and she crushes Blayze in the corner for a bit. Alundra hits a bad hurricanrana for two and a standing moonsault for the same. Blayze goes up but gets headbutted down and the spinning backfist gets the pin for Kong.
Rating: C+. The match was fun stuff considering it only had ten minutes to get through seven eliminations. Kong would have been a great challenger for Blayze, if the division had stayed around. Blayze would show up on Nitro in about a month and throw the WWF Women’s Title (and her career for the most part) in the trash. Fun match but too rushed to mean anything.
A Bill Clinton impersonator is here. He says he’s been watching Bam Bam Bigelow since Bigelow was a kid and playing with Pebbles.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust
Goldust has been around about a month at this point. This is when Goldust was just a movie fanatic at this point and not, you know, trying to screw everyone on the roster. Bigelow is obsessed with fire here, which makes sense given his looks and attire. After about a four minute entrance, we’re ready to go. Then we get some stalling to go with the long entrance.
Goldust tries to get in Bigelow’s mind but gets knocked to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Bigelow slugs him down but charges into a boot in the corner. Goldust gets rammed into the post on the floor but he comes back with a clothesline to send Bigelow back to the floor. Back in and it’s a front facelock as this match keeps dragging along. Bam Bam is thrown to the floor but comes back with a clothesline. A headbutt misses and Goldust rides Bigelow on the mat. Bam Bam comes back with an electric chair but gets taken down by a lariat. Bigelow makes a comeback, misses a charge, and gets bulldogged down for the pin.
Rating: F. This was an eight minute match. Look at the length of what I wrote and tell me how this match ran eight minutes. Goldust was all mystique and no substance for a year or so until he figured out how to wrestle a match as Goldust instead of as Dustin Rhodes in a funny outfit. This was Bigelow’s last match in the company ever.
Clinton wastes more of our time but now with Bob Backlund, who isn’t a big fan.
We recap Mabel vs. Undertaker. Mabel was fat and won the King of the Ring. Then he dropped some big fat legs on Undertaker, crushing his face. Tonight it’s about revenge.
Royals vs. Dark Side
Royals: King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem
Dark Side: Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega
Mabel is on a throne carried by about five guys, all of whom look like they’re about to have hernias. The idea here is you have King Mabel, King Lawler, the blue blood Helmsley, and the Royal Dentist Isaac Yankem. About two years later, Isaac would put on a mask and remember that he’s Undertaker’s brother Kane. What exactly is dark about Undertaker’s partners isn’t really clear. Fatu is MAKING A DIFFERENCE and is supposed to be some kind of hero for kids in the projects. Godwin is a hog farmer and Vega is a street fighter from Puerto Rico.
Undertaker’s entrance is as huge as you would expect it to be. He has this skull looking mask on now which would eventually be purple and look very stupid. Fatu and Hunter start things off. The Dark Side even has matching t-shirts that say Rest In Peace. Fatu throws Helmsley around to start but we almost get a Pedigree, which is only broken up by a glare from Undertaker. Off to Godwin, who was feuding with Hunter at this point in the standard culture clash feud.
Off to Lawler who immediately tags in Yankem. A big hop toss puts Isaac down but he sends Henry into the corner to escape. Back to Helmsley, which I’m getting tired of typing. If only there was a shorter version of his name. Perfect: “You know Helmsley likes to be called Triple H.” Thank you Mr. Perfect. Anyway, Godwin gorilla presses HHH, holding him up for a LONG time.
Lawler comes in and gets Savio, which is a clash of styles if I’ve ever heard of one. Vega pounds away on Jerry and Fatu does the same. Yankem gets in a knee to Fatu’s back and the evil King takes over. The smaller evil king that is. Isaac comes in to slam Fatu and a legdrop follows. Mabel comes in but misses a splash in the corner. Vega pounds on Mabel in a rematch of the KOTR final. A side slam kills Vega but there’s no cover.
Vega gets beaten on in the corner to fill in more time. Yankem is listed as 6’8 or 6’9 here, which means he would have grown about three or four inches by the time he became the Big Red Machine. A HHH knee drop gets two on Vega as the crowd is silent because none of this means anything. This is all just filler until we get to the Undertaker tag when the place is going to erupt.
Lawler’s piledriver on Vega gets two. Well it’s not Memphis so it’s understandable. Lawler knocks Vega into the corner…..and here’s Undertaker. Jerry gets thrown around by the throat and no one will tag him. Tombstone and pin on Lawler, tombstone and pin on Yankem, chokeslam and pin on Helmsley, and there’s just Mabel left. He immediately belly to belly suplexes Undertaker down and drops the face crushing legdrop before dancing a bit. There’s the situp and Mabel runs for the countout. The four eliminations took two minutes and two seconds.
Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Undertaker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Undertaker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.
Bret is ready for Diesel and isn’t looking forward to the defense he’d have at the next In Your House against British Bulldog. He talks about Wayne Gretzky and wonders if he himself is still the best ever. Today he’ll find out.
Diesel isn’t worried about Bulldog and he’s going to take care of Bret tonight.
DiBiase and Cornette have a small argument before the next match. Shawn comes in and says chill.
Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna
Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, British Bulldog, Sycho Sid
Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Razor Ramon, Dean Douglas
This is the Wild Card match with all of the mixed up partners. It’s also Ahmed’s (a very large, muscular intimidating man) PPV debut. Sid is Shawn’s other former bodyguard but they split after Wrestlemania XI, turning Shawn face in the process. Douglas is the original Damien Sandow, which is a ripoff of the Genius. We get going with Owen vs. Shawn which is of course very fast paced stuff. Shawn sends him to the floor and after ducking a tennis racket shot from Cornette, taps Cornette’s pants with said racket. Back inside and it’s Douglas pounding away on Shawn and suplexing him down.
Shawn comes back with a forearm followed by a double ax off the top rope for two. Douglas misses a Vader Bomb so Shawn comes back with a moonsault press for two. It’s off to Ahmed who gets to destroy everything in sight but he can’t slam Yokozuna. After a big group beatdown, Dean is able to get a chinlock on Ahmed to take over. Razor gets in some cheap shots which is rather heelish of him.
Back to who walks into a powerslam but it’s off to Shawn, who Ahmed launches into Dean for two. In a more normal act for Razor, he pops Dean in the face to give Shawn a rollup win. Off to Bulldog vs. Owen which should be a good pairing. Owen hits a sweet spinwheel kick for two and Bulldog is so mad that he tags out to Shawn.
Hart tags out to Razor and it’s time for a rematch from Summerslam 95. JR: “I don’t think they can wrestle each other without a ladder.” They’re tentative to start things off but Shawn throws Razor to the floor, followed by Razor taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. They collide in mid-air but Shawn nips up. Razor is like forget that chico and hits the Razor’s Edge out of nowhere. Ahmed makes the save and the fans aren’t sure if they like that.
They collide again…..and then they do it for a third time. Shawn tags in Sid who had his back to the ring for some reason. This is a rematch from a recent Raw and part of an ongoing feud. Razor can barely get up, allowing Sid to pound away at will. Yokozuna tries to get in a cheap shot on Sid but Sid kicks him away. Razor comes back with some right hands and they clothesline each other down. That’s the fourth time something Razor has done something like that in five minutes.
For some reason, Sid goes up (well he is Sycho) and gets slammed back down for two. A one handed chokeslam (looked awesome) puts Razor down but Sid tags in Shawn instead of powerbombing him. Shawn accidentally superkicks Sid but Bulldog breaks up the pin. Not that it matters as Razor covers again a second later and gets the pin. Sid powerbombs Michaels, his own partner, before leaving. Bulldog and Razor are legal at the moment with Bulldog pounding away….or not as Bulldog was just having fun.
Razor and Shawn are both down but Ramon can only get two. Owen gets the tag to beat on Michaels and drops him with a backdrop. Off to Yokozuna for the first time and he destroys Shawn in the corner. Shawn gets whipped upside down in the corner and it’s off to the nerve hold by Yokozuna. It’s not like Yokozuna is flexing or anything but it does look like a nice shoulder to lean on I guess.
Shawn gets up and is promptly elbowed back down. Off to Owen for a double headbutt to put Shawn down again. Owen misses a swan dive and Shawn makes the tag to Ahmed, who cleans house. The yet to be named Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Bomb) pins Owen and it’s off to Razor vs. Ahmed, which would have been a very interesting feud. Razor bulldogs Johnson down and things break down again with Razor beating up all of his opponents.
Ahmed goes to the corner to pose, and he just happens to put himself in Razor’s Edge position. With Ahmed down, Bulldog comes in sans tag. Here come Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid with DiBiase as Razor hits the fall away slam on Bulldog for two. Razor drills the Kid but walks into the powerslam for the elimination. It’s Shawn/Bulldog/Johnson vs. Yokozuna now.
Shawn gets the fat man first but the right hands don’t do much to Yokozuna, who slugs Shawn down with ease. Yokozuna hits the fat man legdrop but opts for the Banzai instead of covering. Shawn, fearing death, avoids the drop and makes the tag to Ahmed. There’s the slam (for the second time) but Bulldog breaks up the pin by his own teammate. Bulldog gets dropped and Shawn superkicks Yokozuna down. A splash from Ahmed (with a SQUEAL) gets the pin and the victory.
Rating: C+. For a match with almost no point behind it and some wacky teams, this was pretty good stuff. The Shawn vs. Razor stuff was interesting as you knew they had chemistry but it was fun to see them without a gimmick. Ahmed looked good but not great here, which would be the right description of him for his entire run in the WWF. Fun match that was never tried again, which I can understand.
More Clinton stuff with Sunny sitting on his lap. Lucky guy.
Bret talks about his previous matches with Diesel, both of which rocked.
Diesel says he’s Jackknifed Bret twice but he’s not sure if he can beat him. Diesel won the first one by DQ and the second was a draw. They were both good matches so this should be good too.
Perfect picks Bret, JR picks Diesel.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel
Diesel is defending and this is No DQ and no countout. Diesel immediately takes a buckle pad off, so Bret takes another one off to match him. Bret charges him into the corner and goes after the leg but Diesel pounds him over the back to take over. The champ knocks Hart to the floor and Bret is limping. Diesel follows him out and hits a HARD ax handle to put Bret down again. It’s a slow start so far but they have a lot of time.
Hart gets sent into the barricade and goes back in but he bails to the floor immediately. Back in and Diesel wins a slugout, knocking Bret to the floor with a big right hand. Diesel whips him into the steps and keeps the pace slow. A theme of the promos had been wearing Bret tiring Diesel out so there’s some good psychology going on here. Diesel puts Bret down with a hard chair shot to the back and Hart is reeling.
Back in and Diesel loads up the Jackknife but Bret keeps grabbing the leg to block it. Now he bites the champ’s hands to escape. The fans are starting to get into this too. Bret goes for the knee and the champ is in trouble. They do the same opening sequence as Bret goes for the knee again but Diesel hits him in the back. This time though, Bret gets him down and cranks on the knee. See, THAT is storytelling.
Perfect says the line that always gets on my nerves: “They’re all the same size on the mat.” JR properly says “the size and power advantage are negated on the mat.” What JR says is true: Diesel is still bigger than Bret on the mat or standing up. Anyway, Bret cannonballs down onto the knee and there’s the Figure Four. Diesel makes the rope but Bret stays on the bad leg.
Hart tries the Sharpshooter but Diesel thumbs him in the eyes before kicking him into the exposed buckle. Bret picks the leg again and wraps it around the post before tying a cord of some kind around the post. He ties the other end of the cord to Diesel’s leg, making the champion a sitting duck. Bret gets a chair but Diesel uses the free leg for a big boot. Diesel crawls for the chair but Bret gets to it first and wears out the knee with chair shots.
With the leg still attached, Bret pulls off the backbreaker. Bret takes the chair to the top but Diesel punches him down to crotch Bret. Hart gets slammed to the mat, giving Diesel the chance to untie his ankle. Diesel chokes Bret with the cord and hits the side slam for two. Diesel sends Bret chest first into the exposed corner and puts him in 619 position for the running crotch attack, but he can’t run because of the bad leg. Instead he jumps into the air and crashes down on Bret, which looks more painful than the running version.
Diesel can barely hit Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle and Bret is in trouble. He tries another one but Bret escapes and rams Diesel into the exposed buckle. A Hart Attack clothesline gets two on the champ and Bret starts his comeback. That would be his second comeback if you’re keeping track. A middle rope clothesline gets two as does a Russian legsweep. Bret clotheslines Diesel to the floor and tries a plancha but Diesel just steps to the side and lets Bret crash.
Bret starts getting back to the apron but Diesel knocks him off, and for the first time ever, through the Spanish Announce Table. They head back inside and Diesel calls for the Jackknife but Bret falls onto his face from exhaustion. Diesel picks him up to try again but BRET IS GOLDBRICKING and rolls Diesel up for the title out of nowhere in a big surprise.
Rating: A. Outstanding match here with both guys looking awesome. It takes the right kind of opponent to get a great match out of Diesel, but when you put a smaller guy like Bret or Shawn in there, the results are almost a guarantee. These two had some classics against each other and this was one of the best ones. I had a blast with this and it worked really well with Bret getting more and more violent and sadistic before faking Diesel out and using a wrestling move to win the title. That’s psychology people, and it’s great.
Diesel snaps post match and lays out Bret and some officials. Bret takes two Jackknifes and Diesel says I’M BACK to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was a pleasant surprise as with 1995 you often think of something disappointing but instead this was good almost throughout. The Goldust match was terrible but other than that and arguably the Undertaker match, the rest of this is all solid to quite good stuff. Throw in a new World Champion and there’s not much you can call bad here. Very good show.
Ratings Comparison
BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs
Original: A-
Redo: B
Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze
Original: D
Redo: C+
Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Original: C
Redo: F
Dark Side vs. Royals
Original: B-
Redo: D+
Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Diesel
Original: C+
Redo: A
Overall Rating
Original: B-
Redo: B
As close as the previous show was to being the same, this one is almost entirely different, yet it leads to a very similar overall rating. That’s a very interesting thing and one of my favorite things to see in doing this.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
Survivor Series Count-Up – 1994: Undertaker Isn’t Scared of Chuck Norris
Survivor Series 1994
Date: November 23, 1994
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon
Things weren’t all that great for the WWF at this time but Bret was doing well enough as the top man. However, they still needed someone new to come along and supplement him. That name would come soon, but for now it’s still Bret defending the championship against a guy who wasn’t very interesting in the eyes of a lot of younger fans. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip from earlier today of the team captains giving their teams pep talks.
Gorilla and Vince are dressed as cowboys. Gorilla looks like he could almost pull the look off but Vince looks like a schnook.
Teamsters vs. Bad Guys
Teamsters: Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett
Bad Guys: Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Headshrinkers
Diesel and Shawn are Tag Team Champions but they’ve having issues. Owen and Neidhart are a semi-regular tag team. This version of the Headshrinkers is Fatu and Sione, more famous as the Barbarian. Razor is Intercontinental Champion as is his custom. Shawn keeps slipping in front of Diesel to steal the spotlight. That’ll become important later.
It takes a while to decide who starts before we get Kid vs. Owen. This should be good. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Neidhart which won’t be as interesting. Neidhart hits a shoulder block to start but gets dropkicked down. Another shoulder gives Neidhart control though and it’s off to Jarrett. Things speed up a bit and Jarrett loses the advantage Neidhart got him.
Off to Sione, who is someone I’ve talked about before but I’ll do it again here. This guy continuously had work for nearly fifteen years, which is impressive when you consider how basic the main character he played was. The guy was always around though other than in the dying days of WCW. Anyway here he gets dropkicked in the back but powers out of the cover with ease.
Off to Owen who wants the Bulldog. Davey comes in to a big ovation and they trade insane counters to wristlocks. Owen gets catapulted into the good guy corner, which is actually the Bad Guy corner, but the Bad Guys are the good guys in the match if that makes sense. Bulldog gets kicked in the face by Hart and it’s off to Neidhart for a double clothesline. Then Bulldog hits a double clothesline on Hart and Jim, followed by the delayed vertical on Neidhart.
Fatu hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. Instead he tries to take his own boot off because he’s used to wrestling barefoot. Jarrett comes in and is immediately powerslammed before it’s off to Razor. Jeff immediately bails and it’s Razor vs….Jarrett still. Double J takes Razor to the mat and MESSES WITH HIS HAIR! Oh he’s so EVIL! A big right hand by Razor staggers Jeff and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This is a very hot crowd so far.
Back in and Jarrett escapes an atomic drop and punches Razor in the face to get himself in even more trouble. Off to the Kid who Razor gives a fall away slam to send him straight into Jeff in a cool move. Jeff hooks an abdominal stretch with some cheating from Shawn. That eventually gets caught and the Kid hooks a stretch of his own which doesn’t last long. Off to Fatu vs. Owen but all of the Canadian offense results in Samoan dancing.
A blind tag is made to Diesel and it’s a clothesline and a Jackknife to take out Fatu. Kid runs in and hits a dropkick but a top rope sunset flip is easily countered into a chokebomb. Jackknife finishes Kid a second later. Here’s Sione to pound away but he can only stagger the big man. ANOTHER Jackknife makes it 5-2. Diesel put out three guys in 70 seconds. Bulldog comes in and pounds away but a big boot puts Smith on the floor where he brawls with Owen to a countout.
So it’s Ramon vs. all five guys and he starts with Diesel. A discus punch puts Diesel down as does a middle rope bulldog. Diesel gets a clothesline in to take Razor down and Shawn screams for a Jackknife. The future Outsiders slug it out but Diesel drops him on the buckle in a snake eyes. Ramon comes back with a slam and calls for the Edge but Diesel easily backdrops him down. A big boot puts Razor down and there’s the Jackknife.
NOW Shawn wants in but he asks Diesel to hold Razor. Those of you paying attention should know what’s coming, and there it is as Shawn superkicks Diesel by mistake. This has happened a few times before and Diesel is MAD. Diesel destroys the rest of his team and stalks Shawn up the aisle. Ramon is the only one left in the ring and somehow the countout eliminates EVERYONE on the Teamsters to make Razor the sole survivor.
Rating: C. This was all angle and not much wrestling. This was the big face turn for Diesel which would result in the World Title very soon after this. It was a face turn that made sense too as he was tired of Shawn telling him what to do and getting hurt as a result, so he gave up and went after Shawn. Ticked off giants are very fun, so the first few months of Diesel Power were fun stuff. It was the other eight or nine months that stopped being fun.
Shawn leaves in the back and says Diesel is nothing without him. Diesel is on his way to Shawn’s car. Shawn speeds away, which would actually dissolve the team and vacate the Tag Team Titles in the process.
Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us
Royal Family: Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy
Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink
We’ve got midgets. Great. In case you can’t tell, they’re three small Lawlers and three small clowns. Lawler tells the fans to NOT chant Burger King at him, because he’s a master at baiting a crowd you know. The big guys start and guess what the fans are chanting. Here’s the first ten minutes of the match: Lawler and Doink do something, Jerry takes over, the small clowns interfere and Lawler gets mad and loses the advantage.
Lawler tries an enziguri but Doink ducks to send Jerry hiding in his corner. Jerry yells at his partners and the Clowns are all laying on the ropes. Jerry gets Doink down and has the small Lawlers run over him. They make faces at the clowns then run back over Doink and crash in a pile. Keep I mind that these other kings have facial and chest hair. Jerry yells at them again and it’s back to the big guys fighting some more.
The small clowns all come in and cover Jerry with Doink counting. Lawler is all ticked off so they do the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE with Jerry counting Doink’s shoulders. Jerry can’t catch Cheesy when Doink kicks him off so Cheesy gets a two count on Lawler with Dink counting. Doink puts a Burger King crown on Lawler to make him even madder. Dink gets on Doink’s shoulders and (this isn’t a typo) Jerry gets on Sleazy’s shoulders which goes as well as you would expect it to.
The big guys have a test of strength and it turns into a big crisscross between the little guys. Lawler gets a non-existent foreign object to take over but it’s time for a chase scene! Jerry reverses a cross body and rolls up Doink with a handful of tights to eliminate the big guy. Lawler isn’t allowed to be in the ring with one of the smaller guys so the match is in essence over already.
It’s Queasy vs. Dink to start the second half of the match and Dink gets his arm bitten. Queasy gets his tights bitten as does Lawler. Now it’s Cheesy vs. Wink with Wink pulling on the beard. Lawler blocks a monkey flip and Cheesy pins Wink off a rollup. A minute later, Lawler drops Cheesy on Pink from six feet in the air for the pin and it’s Dink vs. all four of them. Pink hides under the ring instead of leaving as Dink beats up all three little guys. A top rope cross body looks to pin Cheesy but Lawler makes the save. Sleazy gets the easy pin to win it.
Rating: S. As in stupider, which I now am having watched this. Last year’s show at least had full sized people in there having these matches and it only ran ten minutes. This ran SIXTEEN MINUTES and wasted Jerry freaking Lawler on it. I’ll take ANYTHING after this and like it more than this.
Jerry says he won the match and not the other ones. They celebrate anyway and Lawler keeps yelling, so they turn on him and the clowns join in for a six on one beatdown. The big payoff is Doink hitting Lawler with a pie. This ran nearly TWENTY MINUTES out of a two hour and forty minute show.
We get clips of Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano in Tokyo with Nakano winning the Women’s Title in front of 45,000 people. I’ve never seen it but I’ve heard that match was awesome. Nakano comes in and speaks some Japanese. Todd (Petingill, this generation’s Josh Matthews/Matt Striker) does the stupid thing where he speaks loudly because all foreigners are apparently deaf.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart
Bret is defending and this is a submission match. This is a special kind of submission match though as both guys have seconds and you have to throw in the towel to end the match. Bret has British Bulldog and Backlund has Owen Hart. Backlund was making a comeback in his 40s and was a plucky face before going completely insane and claiming that he was still champion from when his reign ended in 1983 because his manager threw in the towel and he never gave up. Bret and Owen’s parents are in the crowd. Remember that.
Backlund charges at Bret but gets hipblocked down a few times. Bret headbutts him to the floor and elbowed upon return. Hart hits something like an elevated bulldog (think Orton’s hanging DDT) to take over on the mat. Off to a chinlock which evolves into a headlock. Gorilla talks about how Bulldog beat Bret for the Intercontinental Title in 1992 to try to draw in some tension. Backlund tries to take him to the mat but Bret puts the headlock back on. Bob tries to get the chickenwing on but Bret suplexes him down.
Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Bret goes with a front facelock instead. Off to an abdominal stretch by the Hitman but Bob escapes and goes after the left arm. The chickenwing is escaped again (Backlund’s finisher is a Cross Face Chickenwing) so Bob bends the arm around the ropes. Off to an armbar on the mat but Bret nips up. Backlund drills Bret to the floor but Hart gets the advantage out there.
Back in and Backlund puts the arm on as the fans all chant LET’S GO BRET. The armbar stays on for a good while (as in like five minutes) before Bret escapes with an atomic drop. Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter but he settles for the Figure Four. This hold stays on for a while also and Bob gives up but Owen has to throw in the towel. Backlund tells Owen to throw it in but Owen won’t do it.
Backlund finally turns it over and Owen tells Bulldog to throw it in. Bret reverses it back but Backlund gets to a rope. Bret stays on the leg but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Backlund grabs a piledriver out of nowhere and momentum shifts again. Bob goes for the chickenwing but Bret gets to the ropes. We’re about twenty minutes into this and it feels like about half of that. The fans are still WAY behind Bret here which is a good sign.
Back to the arm but Backlund misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bret blocks another piledriver attempt but hooks a sleeper, which is broken pretty fast because it’s not really a submission move. They hit head to head and both guys go down. For a guy who was about 45 at this point, Backlund has looked great. Now Bret piledrives Bob and hits a bulldog to take over.
The Five Moves Of Doom culminate with the Sharpshooter but Owen runs in to deck his brother and break up the hold. Now we get to the turning point of the match as Davey charges at Owen but misses and rams his own head into the steps. He’s out cold and there’s no one to throw in Bret’s towel. Owen panics and the distraction lets Backlund put on the full chickenwing even though Bret had his hand on the rope at the beginning of the hold and a rope break was used earlier in the match but I digress.
Backlund has the hold on in the middle of the ring as Owen begins to get concerned about Bret. He says he’s sorry and Backlund takes Bret down to the mat with the hold. Smith still hasn’t moved and Bret is trying to fight up. Bret gets to his feet but can’t get the rope as Backlund pulls him down and puts on the bodyscissors along with the hold. Owen starts crying, which Vince declares the TRUE Owen.
Vince says you can lose if you say you quit, which goes against what we saw earlier with Backlund but it’s the WWF so you can’t count on continuity. We go split screen to look at Bret’s parents as Bret has been in this hold for over four minutes. Owen goes over to plead to his mom (not Stu because Stu is smarter than this) as Bret is in agony. Bret taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. The hold has now been on for six straight minutes and the fans are still behind Bret. The maniacal look on Bob’s face as he pulls on the arm is great.
Owen begs his mom for help again and opens the barricade to bring his parents to ringside. Stu still doesn’t seem to buy anything Owen is saying. Owen picks up Bret’s towel and says for Helen to throw it in but Stu says no way. Owen gets the fans to cheer for Helen to throw in the towel and after nine and a half minutes in the hold, Helen takes the towel from Stu and throws it in, giving Backlund the title and STUNNING the fans. Owen throws his arms in the air and celebrates, sprinting to the back in triumph, because it was a SWERVE.
Rating: A. This match definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of old school matches and psychology, you’re going to love this. The whole thing is an intricate story with the execution being done perfectly (or with excellence if you like plays on catchphrases). Bret and Backlund are both master technicians so the in ring stuff is as close to flawless as you’re going to get. The stuff with Owen is great too and the whole match is almost perfect. It runs about thirty five minutes though and if you’re not a fan of mat stuff and building to a big finish, you’re going to hate this.
One other thing: I’d like to point out that Davey Boy Smith has been out cold for almost eleven minutes now, hasn’t moved an inch, and is likely clinically dead yet hasn’t received any attention at all. Owen stepped over him about four times in the whole sequence.
Backlund’s face as he’s awarded the title is amazing as he looks somewhat demented which pointing at himself. This is one of those moments where you look at the card on paper and say “well of course Bret retains. There’s no way they would make Backlund champion.” And then they DID and it was a legit shock. Backlund looks maniacal and the image of a plain guy in blue trunks being champion is kind of awesome as he’s all dangerous while looking nuts.
Owen celebrates in the back and cuts a great evil promo talking about how he’s the real king now and Bret is a nobody. This was the culmination of an incredible feud that ran for about a year.
Million Dollar Team vs. Guts And Glory
Million Dollar Team: Tatanka, King King Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies
Guts and Glory: Lex Luger, Adam Bomb, Mabel, Smoking Gunns
This is DiBiase’s team (DiBiase had hurt his neck and had to retire) vs. Luger in a continuation of a long feud. DiBiase had said that Luger had sold out and Tatanka, Luger’s friend, believed DiBiase. This led to a match at Summerslam where it turned out that TATANKA had been bought off in a swerve I liked a lot. This is Luger’s chance for revenge again. The Gunns are a pair of cowboys named Billy and Bart.
Luger and Tatanka start things off, much to Tatanka’s surprise. Tatanka takes over to start and chops away but the ones to the chest don’t work on Luger. Lex no sells a suplex and pounds away with all his usual stuff. A clothesline puts Tatanka on the floor so here’s Del Ray to get beaten up too. Mabel and Bundy come in but it’s just a staredown as it’s back to the starters. Now it’s officially Mabel vs. Prichard with the big man missing an elbow. Prichard pounds away but a middle rope cross body to the 500lb Mable goes badly with the splash crushing Prichard for the pin.
It’s 5-4 now and Del Ray comes in for some dropkicks and no effect. A Boss Man Slam takes Jimmy down so it’s off to Bundy vs. Mabel. They collide a few times until Mabel runs him over. Off to Bigelow who gets beaten down and Mabel goes up, only to get slammed down in a cool visual. Bigelow goes up for a sunset flip but Mabel sits on his chest for no cover. A Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor and Mabel can’t beat the count back in to tie things up.
Off to Billy Gunn vs. Del Ray which goes nowhere so here’s Bomb vs. Bigelow. This takes about 30 seconds with Bomb hitting a slingshot clothesline but getting hit in the head by Bundy. A moonsault from Bigelow takes Bomb out and it’s 4-3. Luger comes in immediately and tries a rollup but it just gets two. Off to Del Ray who hits a fast superkick to take Lex down. After some right hands from Jimmy, a running forearm smash catches him in the head and Luger ties it up.
It’s Tatanka/Bigelow/Bundy vs. Luger/Smoking Gunns. We start with Bart vs. Tatanka before Billy comes in for a double Russian legsweep for two. The Gunns pound away on Tatanka for a little while with Bart and his mullet of death hitting a monkey flip for two. The Sidewinder (side slam from Bart with a legdrop from Billy) gets two and it’s back to Bart who apparently doesn’t think well on his feet, as he tries a crucifix on a guy whose finisher is a Samoan drop. Later Bart and it’s 3-2.
Billy vs. Tatanka goes nowhere so it’s back to Luger. Billy comes in and hip tosses Tatanka for two and an elbow drop gets the same. Luger and Gunn take turns on Tatanka’s arm until Billy gets caught in a powerslam. Off to Bundy who hits a splash and elbow to get us down to Luger vs. Bigelow, Bundy and Tatanka. It’s Luger vs. King Kong now but Lex goes after Tatanka because he’s not that bright at times.
Luger gets caught in the evil corner and we play the numbers game for awhile. Luger hits a forearm to Tatanka but only gets two. A sunset flip almost gets a pin on Tatanka but a tag was made on the way down to bring in Bigelow. Bundy drops an elbow for two and Lex is in trouble. Bigelow drops a headbutt for a VERY fast two. DiBiase talks trash as it’s off to Bundy for more fat man offense.
Bundy drops an elbow for two as we’re reenacting the main event of the first Survivor Series, complete with two of the original people in it. Back to Tatanka who gets two off a powerslam and drops a bunch of elbows. In a stupid looking yet still good ending, Luger gets a fast small package for the pin on Tatanka, then lays down on the mat so Bundy can splash him for the final elimination. That looked stupid.
Rating: C. This wasn’t that bad actually and the ending was a nice surprise. There was no reason to have Luger make the superhero comeback here and having him lose was the right move. The feud didn’t really go anywhere after this and was more or less the ending of it. Luger’s collapse after Summerslam 1993 is a sight to see given how hot he was during the summer after his face turn.
A group beatdown on Lex follows the match. The Gunns and Bomb make the save.
Backlund has a press conference and says he’s going to homogenize and synchronize the fans. It’s time for Sports Education and he’s been champion for sixteen years now. I love this character, which is a shame because he would lose the title to Diesel less than a week later in eight seconds.
Here’s Chuck Norris to be guest referee for the main event.
Quick recap before we get to casket match. This is a rematch of a casket match at the Royal Rumble (don’t get me started on that mess) where about ten guys came out to help Yokozuna beat Undertaker. Norris is here to stop interference.
Yokozuna vs. Undertaker
This is a casket match where you have to throw your opponent in the casket and close it to win. Druids bring out the casket of course. Yoko is so fat here it’s unreal. Undertaker does the throat slit from across the ring and Yokozuna falls down. A splash in the corner is no sold by Undertaker but the fat man stops before he gets thrown to the casket. Yokozuna winds up on top of the casket to further freak him out.
They fight to the floor with Undertaker in control. Back inside Old School staggers Yokozuna but he catches Undertaker in a Samoan Drop. Undertaker doesn’t sell it but the move did hit. A headbutt puts Undertaker down but he won’t go in the casket. Back in and Undertaker misses an elbow but sits up anyway. A Rock Bottom puts Undertaker down and Yokozuna drops a leg while he’s sitting up to keep the Dead Man down.
Undertaker gets put in the casket but he blocks it from being closed. They both wind up in the box and slug it out but Mr. Fuji pulls Undertaker’s hair to break things up. Cornette (Yokozuna’s other manager) gets drilled as well and we head back inside. Yokozuna sends him back to the floor and rams Undertaker into the steps (from inside the ring, which is kind of impressive). Back inside and they slug it out with Undertaker slamming the fat man’s head into the mat.
Undertaker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Yokozuna down. As he’s rolling the bigger man over, here’s King Kong Bundy to glare at Norris. Bigelow comes out as well but nothing comes of it. Nothing comes of it on their end at least as IRS comes in and beats up Undertaker, which would also set up the Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation feud for 1995. Undertaker gets put in the casket but by the time Yoko gets there he can’t close the lid. Jeff Jarrett comes out to challenge Norris and gets kicked in the chest. Undertaker hits a DDT and a big boot to send Yokozuna into the casket for the win.
Rating: D. This was really dull stuff and the ending was never in doubt. Yokozuna was worthless at this point as he was too fat to move. This was the last we would see of him until Wrestlemania where he came back EVEN BIGGER. Norris didn’t really add much here but the fans liked him and that’s all that really matters. Thankfully this feud ended here.
Overall Rating: C-. This isn’t a terrible show but there are some bad parts to it. The interesting thing is that in a lot of parts, this is a sequel of last year’s show. Last year we heard rumblings of Shawn being the REAL Intercontinental Champion and he was facing Razor here, Undertaker vs. Yokozuna is a direct continuation, and Bret vs. Owen started at the 93 show and it’s almost over here (they would interact at the Rumble and have one big blowoff match after that). Anyway, this isn’t bad but a lot of people would be bored by the title match, which is understandable. Not a great show but it’s watchable, except for the clowns.
Ratings Comparison
Teamsters vs. Bad Guys
Original: C-
Redo: C
Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us
Original: G (as in below an F)
Redo: S
Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart
Original: A
Redo: A
Million Dollar Team vs. Guts and Glory
Original: C-
Redo: C
Undertaker vs. Yokozuna
Original: D+
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: C-
That’s probably as close as any of these second looks are going to go.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
Smackdown – May 29, 2003: One Lies, the Other Punches
Smackdown
Date: May 29, 2003
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re closing out the month with…a lie detector test! Yeah that’s the big draw this week: Mr. America is being forced to take a lie detector test after losing to Sean O’Haire last week. Somehow this was probably viewed as a big win for O’Haire, even though he’s already coming off as little more than a detail less than a week later. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Vince vs. America shenanigans setting up tonight’s lie detector test.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sable to introduce the first match, but only after a quick shout out to….Tazz?
Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia
They’re never following up on Torrie kissing Sable are they? Before we get going, Zack Gowen is shown in the crowd. Torrie shoves Jamie Noble off the apron and chops away at Nidia to start, earning herself a knee to the ribs. Nidia grabs a suplex for two as they’ve already done more wrestling than I was expecting.
A shot to the knee has Torrie in trouble and Jamie shouts at Nidia to stay on her. The knee is slammed onto the apron and wrapped around the rope for good measure. Back in and they do the roll over the referee spot so the referee poses on the ropes. Jamie trips Torrie though, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup with tights for the pin.
Rating: D. This was their best way to open the show? I know it’s mainly for the visuals and I’d rather go with this than more of Vince vs. Hogan but they didn’t have any other options here? At least they got it out of the way I guess, but this really isn’t the best way to set the show off on a good foot.
Post match Tazz punches Jamie out and Torrie rips off Nidia’s shorts. Sable throws water at Tazz and bails to end this head scratch inducing segment.
Vince is annoyed that his limo driver has to move the limo out of a handicap zone. He orders said driver to stay right there because this shouldn’t take long.
Stephanie McMahon tests out the lie detector.
Team Angle wants to regain their titles in preparation for Kurt Angle’s return next week.
Eddie Guerrero has Tajiri in Guerrero gear and thinks he can feel some Latino Heat. Tajiri has even stolen his first car! He can even speak English too (which may be a first).
Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri vs. Team Angle
Eddie and Tajiri are defending. Tajiri gets sent outside early on and it’s a double beating until Eddie elbows his way to freedom. A pop up dropkick puts Shelton down and it’s off to Tajiri for those hard kicks. Again: it’s a very simple style of action but he does it well enough to make it work.
Tajiri grabs a sunset flip and rolls Shelton around the ring to really dizzy him up. A double kick to the head gives us a double knockdown though and we take a break. Back with Shelton kicking the knee out (two matches in a row with knee work) to take over. Charlie comes in for a modified Indian Deathlock before it’s back to Shelton for a leglock of his own.
Eddie finally breaks up a half crab but the distraction just lets Shelton come back in sans tag. A headscissors finally gets Tajiri out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Eddie for a monkey flip. House is cleaned in a hurry and it’s time to roll some suplexes. The frog splash crushes Charlie with Shelton making the save. A double DDT takes Team Angle down and it’s the not as hot tag to Tajiri for kicks using the good leg.
Charlie reverses a tornado DDT into a northern lights suplex for two with Eddie making another save. Tajiri superkicks Charlie down and Eddie dives off the top onto Shelton. The Haas of Pain has Tajiri in trouble and the bell rings….because Eddie rang it himself. As the referee yells at the timekeeper, Eddie misses a belt shot. Charlie grabs the belt so Eddie drops to the mat, drawing a phantom DQ to retain the titles.
Rating: B+. I was digging the heck out of this one and the screwy finish was the best way they could have gone as it gives them a reason for another match. Tajiri is an upgrade over Chavo and plays a great partner to Eddie. The tease of a submission at the end worked very well and Eddie was feeling it here, which makes for a nearly instant classic.
Zack Gowen talks about wanting to live his dream but being here as a fan to watch the lie detector test.
The lie detector is set up in the middle of the ring and here’s Vince. McMahon recaps the whole double contract situation and mocks Gowen, who will never be allowed to wrestle here if America fails the lie detector. Here’s America with Vince ordering that he be strapped into the chair. It’s a simple system: ding means true, buzz means no.
We get straight to the questions: he’s Mr. America, he’s in a wrestling ring in Pensacola, Florida and he’s employed by Smackdown. Vince demands the question but America would like a drink of water before answering if he’s Hulk Hogan or not. He says no and that comes up true as well. They ask him again and it’s still not what Vince wants to hear. Vince: “It’s Hogan, Hogan, Hogan, Hogan, Hogan!” America: “NO NO NO NO NO!” Machine: “DING DING DING DING DING!”
That means he officially passes the test and Vince freaks out. He agrees to take his own test but America is getting to ask the questions. Vince is apparently a horrible pervert, a disrespected businessman who doesn’t do things for any fans all over the world, enjoys himself with Torrie Wilson’s Playboy (including in the limo on the way to the arena) and fantasizes about Mae Young. Vince is unhooked and America punches him out. See, now this is the kind of goofy, over the top comedy bit that the story should have been about. It’s not great but I’ve seen far less entertaining bits. More of this, less of America having matches.
Post break, Vince blames Stephanie for the whole thing. Things will change next week.
Chris Benoit vs. Sean O’Haire
Sean walks way in front of Roddy Piper, looking like he wants nothing to do with his mentor. Some early shots to the ribs have Benoit down in the corner but he grabs a dragon screw legwhip for a breather. That’s fine with Sean who takes Benoit down again into a chinlock. Back up and a DDT gives Benoit a breather, followed by a German suplex for two. Piper grabs the leg and actually gets caught in the Crossface. Sean makes a save and grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.
Rating: D. That’s a nice win for O’Haire but he desperately needs to get away from Piper. The pairing isn’t all that interesting in the first place and now Piper isn’t adding anything in the slightest. At least he got a big win here though and wasn’t squashed until the ending, which is somehow an improvement.
We look back at Rey Mysterio defeating Crash and Shannon Moore to earn a Cruiserweight Title shot, which will take place next week.
An injured Rey says he’ll be Cruiserweight Champion next week. He’s all fired up but here’s Matt Hardy to jump him from behind with a low blow.
Kurt Angle is back next week.
Ultimo Dragon is coming.
Rikishi/Spanky vs. Basham Brothers
This would be Doug and Danny’s debut and I still have no idea which is which. Doug and Rikishi start things off with Bashman being sent over the top in short order. Rikishi keeps cleaning house and it’s off to Spanky for a running forearm in the corner. Thankfully the Bashams finally take over and start hammering away with their pretty generic style of offense. An enziguri allows the hot tag to Rikishi, who cleans house with superkicks. The Bashams take a double Stinkface and it’s back to Spanky. A charge into the corner is countered though and Doug rolls him up with Danny adding extra leverage for the pin.
Rating: F. This was more about pushing Rikishi than anything else. He cleaned house multiple times and hit his embarrassing signature move on the newcomers. The Bashams look like a pair of clowns who won on a fluke while Rikishi looks like a world beater. Terrible debut and the team is in trouble from the start.
Vince’s limo is towed and Gowen shows up to gloat. Who knew that regular fans had access to Vince’s limo?
Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. FBI
This is your main event people. Hang on a second though as this is a handicap match but Nunzio is in street clothes. He’s injured after last week so we have a replacement Italian.
Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. Chuck Palumbo/Johnny Stamboli/Big Show
Undertaker slugs Show down to start but it’s Palumbo stomping at Undertaker in the corner. That just earns him Old School so it can be off to Lesnar for the house cleaning. Brock shrugs off some double teaming and hands it back to Undertaker to work on Stamboli. The running DDT plants Stamboli again so it’s off to Show for the real showdown.
Brock comes in instead and takes a heck of a clothesline to the chest. It’s too early for a chokeslam but Brock has to beat up the Italians. The chokeslam gets two on Lesnar and it’s the Italians double teaming on the floor. Back in and the beating continues as Lesnar is selling too much for the FBI.
A clothesline takes Palumbo down and it’s a hot tag off to undertaker to dominate. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Palumbo and there’s the dragon sleeper on Show. Nunzio’s save with a chair only annoys Undertaker so there’s a chokeslam. Palumbo breaks it up so it’s back to back for the Italians, only to have the chokeslam end Lesnar.
Rating: D+. So yeah, we’re actually heading towards Lesnar vs. Show again, just in case we didn’t get the point last time. They really need to elevate someone already as this isn’t getting anyone anywhere. Where does this leave Undertaker? Facing the Italians? That’s the best they’ve got? The match was fun while it lasted at least, but Show vs. Lesnar again does nothing for me.
Overall Rating: C+. The tag match more than carries this one and the lie detector segment was a lot better than I was expecting. Smackdown is in a better place than Raw at the moment as they have some pieces to put together but they don’t know the order yet. I’ll take that over thinking Kevin Nash is their best option any day.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Comic Book Review: Invasion From Planet Wrestletopia #1
So in what might not be the biggest shock in the world, I’m a big comic book fan. I’ve had a folder at my local comic book store for over ten years now and at one point had several boxes full of books. Therefore, I was rather pleased when I was contacted by the writer of a wrestling themed comic book, asking if I would be interested in reviewing it. After a rather enthusiastic yes (as it was the first time anyone had done that), I received a few copies of the book a few days later. Let’s get to it.
The comic, entitled Invasion From Planet Wrestletopia, focuses on a former top star of the 1980s who one day declared himself the Galactic Wrestling Champion of the Universe. That’s all well and good, until a transmission of his statement gets to a planet of wrestlers. The aliens take it as a declaration of war and that’s quite a problem.
What surprised me the most here was this actually isn’t a comedy. You would think that a book like this one would be another story that makes a bunch of wrestling jokes and advances the plot in between all of the comedy material. That’s actually not the case here though as while there are some funny moments (and potential for several more), there is actually a somewhat sad story about a former star who is running out of chances and has fallen on hard times.
That’s really surprising but it’s surprising in a good way. I can’t count how many parodies of wrestling or forms of entertainment I’ve seen over the years that take shots at wrestling. You know most of the jokes you’re going to see before they start and that’s only going to take you so far.
However, look at something like GLOW. It’s a series that focuses on the drama and has wrestling as a means to get there. It’s a bit more direct here, but the wrestling is really just a detail. The story could have been about almost anything and you could have gotten to the same conclusion, which is why I could see this having more staying power than just a parody. You can only make jokes about wrestling for so long before it gets stale but a story that has potential like this is a much better way to go.
The other major perk here is you don’t have to like wrestling to understand this. There are a few uses of wrestling lingo but it’s nothing that the average person wouldn’t understand. You can easily understand the story they’re telling and it’s one that I’d like to see more of. Having a story that involves wrestling (albeit heavily) instead of a story specifically about wrestling is a good idea and the right path to take.
Overall, I was rather pleasantly surprised here and that’s always a great thing to see from a comic. I got the characters and ideas the writers were trying to push and the artwork is quite good. It’s a fun story and the ending leaves a lot of potential for more stuff from this concept. I’d check out another issue of this and it’s well worth checking out.
If you’d like to pick up the book or see more from the company that put it out, here’s all the information:
Website:
www.suspiciousbehaviorproductions.com
Amazon:
Comixology:
https://www.comixology.com/Invasion-from-Planet-Wrestletopia-1/digital-comic/56853
Preview of the comic on Tumblr:
Apple iBook:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/invasion-from-planet-wrestletopia/id1272011089?mt=11
Twitter @SBP_Comics and Facebook
Also, if anyone out there has something you’d like me to check out (movie, video, comic, book, etc.), hit me up at kbwrestlingreviews@hotmail.com. I’m always open to checking something out.