It turns out it’s taking me a long time to wake up from this Enzo Is Champion nightmare so maybe talking about it could help a bit.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-dont-wood-chip-just-yet/

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2003
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Backlash and that means it’s time to start the build towards Kevin Nash vs. HHH, which will be built off a combination of Nash and HHH’s long and storied off screen friendship as well as HHH pinning Nash last night at the pay per view. Somehow, that’s as good as it’s getting at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with a big red X over Austin’s picture. That’s a nice touch.

Here’s Chris Jericho to say that since Roddy Piper and Piper’s Pit sucks, it’s time for the most thrilling man in this company to have his own show. Therefore, it’s time for the debut episode of the Hi-Lite Reel, with a very special first guest: GOLDBERG. Jericho talks about their history together in WCW and all the times that Goldberg refused to fight him.

Goldberg is willing to make up for lost time but Jericho backs off because he’s just an interviewer at the moment. He’d like to know why Goldberg left his quiet life at home to come here but Christian comes out to cut them off. Since Rock is gone, it’s pretty clear that he’s the new People’s Champion. Christian rips on the Red Sox and asks Goldberg what it’s like to be booed.

Goldberg doesn’t mind because these people can cheer him or boo him and he’s cool with it (Where have I heard this before?). He’s here to do a job and threatens to spear everyone but Jericho brings up no one wanting Goldberg here. This brings out Rico, 3 Minute Warning, Steven Richards and Victoria, none of whom want Goldberg around.

Christian lists off the reasons it should be him getting this push but Goldberg tells him to bring it. The group all teases coming to the ring but only Richards actually gets in, earning himself a spear. As usual, Goldberg feels completely out of place saying more than two words but that’s WWE for you: turn everyone into your style of a wrestler, no matter if they’re a once in a lifetime talent.

The Hurricane vs. Chief Morely

Feeling out process to start with the Chief doing Hurricane’s pose. Hurricane grabs the cape and wraps it around himself for a Val Venis hip swivel and now it’s on. They trade some rollups for two each until Hurricane works on some basic holds. The announcers debate superpowers and of course Lawler picks X-Ray vision. Coach: “Then you’d just be looking at the bones King.” Lawler: “….WHAT?”

Morely’s butterfly suplex puts Hurricane down and Val cranks on the arms. A spinebuster gives the Chief a delayed two but a suplex is countered into the Eye of the Hurricane for a break. Back up and the Shining Wizard is countered into the Blue Thunder Bomb, which still can’t get a pin on anyone. The Money Shot misses though and the Overcast puts Morely away.

Rating: C+. Nice little match here with Hurricane finally getting a clean win instead of all these flukes that don’t take him anywhere. He can wrestle a good match and the fans love his antics so I don’t know why they’re so skeptical to give him more wins like this. As usual, Morely is more than capable of having a fine match and that’s a very valuable asset to have.

Ric Flair sucks up to HHH, who sucks up right back. Tonight, HHH has gotten them a Tag Team Title match.

Here are Teddy Long and Rodney Mack to say that Larry Bird wouldn’t have had a chance as a black man. Teddy is all about giving people a chance so let’s have another Five Minute White Boy Challenge.

Rodney Mack vs. Willy Harrington

Mack pounds away in the corner as Long, on commentary, talks about the Atlanta Zoo. Willy avoids a charge in the corner but gets caught in a heck of an STO. An Oklahoma Stampede ends Willy in less than two minutes.

Post match Teddy brings out Jazz, who changed Backlash into Blacklash. Balloons fall and we have a quick celebration as Trish Stratus watches from the back. She leaves and reveals Tommy Dreamer and I believe Jonah from Tough Enough awkwardly sitting behind her.

After a break, Trish comes in to see Bischoff about a rematch with Jazz, but for some reason she doesn’t have a guaranteed rematch. Eric agrees and offers her a match where if she wins, she gets a title shot. The match will be with Bischoff, but if she loses, she has to sleep with him. Again, this really doesn’t fit Bischoff. Trish agrees.

Test is still trying to talk his way out of trouble with Stacy Keibler but isn’t cool with teaming with Scott Steiner tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Ric Flair/HHH

Flair/HHH are challenging. Kane throws Flair around to start and press slams him for good measure. It’s off to Rob who gets to kick HHH down and then dive onto both villains. We cut to Shawn Michaels in the back, saying that someone in the ring is a sitting duck, sending us to a break.

Back with Van Dam kicking away at HHH, which is the champ’s version of putting someone over. Flair offers a distraction though and it’s a spinebuster so HHH can take over. We hit the stomping in the corner, followed by the jumping knee to the face for two. It’s time for the leg work to begin with the knee being wrapped around the post and HHH slapping on the Indian Deathlock (You though you were free of that one didn’t you?). Rob finally kicks HHH away and the hot tag brings in Kane to clean house.

A series of clotheslines, including the top rope variety, gets two on Flair with HHH diving in for a save. HHH throws in a chop block so Flair can put on the Figure Four but this time it’s Rob making the save. A bad looking Pedigree hits Kane but here’s Kevin Nash (you mess with one Diesel you mess with all of them) with a sledgehammer. Nash chases HHH off, leaving Flair to take the chokeslam and Five Star to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match and, again, it’s all about HHH vs. Nash, despite the complete lack of interest in that feud. The champs getting a win here is fine and at least they weren’t completely done when Nash came in. Van Dam and Kane are really good in this kind of role but they need an actual team to feud with in a hurry.

HHH runs through the back and dives into a limo with Nash right behind him. It takes four shots with the hammer to break the window, which is finally enough to make the limo drive off. I’m assuming Shawn was talking to Nash about HHH? That’s rather unnecessary and added absolutely nothing.

Christopher Nowinski/Rico vs. Scott Steiner/Test

Nowinski forearms Steiner in the back to start and somehow busts Scott’s forehead open. A belly to belly sends Chris outside and it’s off to Rico to take the beating for him. Steiner gets posted but is still able to suplex his way out of Rico’s sleeper. Of course Test is outside yelling at Stacy, leaving Steiner to take a double suplex. Another suplex sends Nowinski flying though and the hot tag brings in Test. Everything breaks down and Rico kicks away at Test, only to have Steiner hit his reverse DDT for the pin on Nowinski.

Rating: D. This is really the best use of their TV time? I liked Test back in the Attitude Era but sweet goodness he’s just there at this point. That being said, seeing Steiner fall this far in such a short amount of time is amazing. We’re to the point where a win over Rico wasn’t a guarantee for him, which isn’t something you would ever expect to see.

Steiner hits his catchphrase but La Resistance makes their debut to interrupt. We see a clip from two weeks back with Steiner running down anyone who disagreed with the Iraq War and running down France. French is spoken and Steiner gets beaten down.

Morely tells Bischoff that everything is ready and the Dudleys are suspended after last night’s events. Eric is going to get stratusfied tonight.

Goldberg runs into Booker T. in the back and they reminisce about the old times, like when they nearly kill each other. Booker is ready for Christian tonight.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Booker headlocks him to start and gets two off a clothesline. Some choking in the corner cuts him off though and it turns into the punching and kicking match you would expect. Christian gets two off a dropkick and we’re off to a chinlock. More choking on the ropes fires Booker back up and a sidewalk slam gets two. Booker grabs a spinebuster and hits the ax kick but here’s 3 Minute Warning for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was about as flat of a match as you could have as they just did basic stuff until the Samoans came in for the beatdown. The story of the match seems to be setting up the post match stuff with Goldberg making the save because that’s what Goldberg needed in wrestling: friends.

Rico and Christian make it a 4-1 beatdown until Goldberg makes the save. The Jackhammer to Jamal and a spear to send Rosey through the barricade are impressive, though is this really all they can do with Goldberg the night after he beat the Rock? Really?

Trish Stratus vs. Eric Bischoff

Before we get going, Bischoff makes it No DQ. Eric does the Karate Kid pose (THAT’S TOO FAR) and gets Chick Kicked for his efforts. Cue Victoria to jump Trish but she gets knocked outside in pretty short order. Now it’s Jazz to really beat Trish down, including the double chickenwing. Bischoff says that’s enough because we want to make sure she stays conscious. With a promise to teach her a thing or two tonight, he gets the pin to end the angle disguised as a match.

A few seconds after the match ends, a limo arrives containing Linda McMahon. Suddenly Bischoff orders the referees to help her up as we go to a break. Back with that sweet Wrestlemania X theme playing Linda to the ring. She’s been talking to the Board of Directors and they have a message for Bischoff, who has to come back out here. Bischoff immediately sucks up and says he was kidding about the stuff with Trish.

That kind of talk makes her job here so easy because he’s been abusive and harassing, bordering on ego-maniacal. Therefore, a co-General Manager will be sharing power with Bischoff. He’s someone who has a better feel for the audience and the common man. Of course it’s Austin, who thinks they can make this work. Bischoff isn’t convinced, despite all of the WHAT treatment. A handshake sets up the Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I get the idea of bringing Austin back but is it really the right time with Goldberg trying to be turned into the top face of the show? Austin hasn’t even been gone a month yet and I’m not sure you really need to be bringing him back less than a month after Goldberg debuts to a lukewarm reception. I can’t imagine they’re pulling the plug on Goldberg already, but he doesn’t seem to be in the best place this soon into his run.

The rest of the show was the usual drek from this time, though at least HHH vs. Nash was mostly confined to just one segment instead of carrying it on and on for hours at a time. There’s very little to interest the fans at this point and Austin isn’t going to do a ton of good as he’s going to get a lot of the focus despite not being able to get in the ring. Not a good show but that’s all you can expect from this period.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: September 27, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Mauro Ranallo

It’s NXT bay-bay as Adam Cole is making his in-ring debut tonight against Sanity’s Eric Young. While you can almost book the screwy finish from here, that doesn’t mean it won’t be entertaining along the way. Other than that we’re starting to get ready for the next Takeover in Houston. Let’s get to it.

William Regal opens the show by announcing a four way for the vacant Women’s Title at Takeover: Houston. Kairi Sane is already in the match and in two weeks, we’ll be having three qualifying matches for the other spots.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Sanity to open things up. They wrote the book on showing up to make their mark and all that matters is the chaos. Tonight, Young is taking Cole to the edge of Sanity.

Lars Sullivan vs. Oney Lorcan

This should be hard hitting. Before the match, Lorcan says he doesn’t like Sullivan coming in here like he owns the place. Lorcan gets run over to start but comes back with a dropkick. Sullivan easily shrugs it off though and sends Lorcan outside with ease. Back up and Sullivan gets sent outside again, where he catches Oney’s over the top dive in midair like he’s nothing.

Lars charges into an elbow in the corner so Lorcan hammers away, including some running European uppercuts. Those are shrugged off too though and one heck of a clothesline turns him inside out. The standing Boss Man Slam ends Lorcan at 2:54. This was a heck of a fight and Sullivan looked more like a monster than usual.

Lars goes after him again but Danny Burch pulls Oney out.

Ruby Riot is ready to face the Iconic Duo again but she is NOT friends with Nikki Cross.

Heavy Machinery vs. Demitrious Bronson/Patrick Scott

Scott and Knight start things off and I’ll let you guess which one is tossed down. Knight lifts him up in a wristlock so it’s off to Bronson, who gets run over with a double shoulder. Bronson gets in a good looking dropkick but dives into an overhead belly to belly. Otis even stops for a little dance and it’s the Compactor for the double pin at 3:15.

Rating: D+. I like Heavy Machinery a lot as they’re just a fun act. They don’t come off as anything more than two big guys who can do impressive power stuff and there’s no reason to try anything else. Not everything has to be some high concept and this is as entertaining as it can be for what it is.

Regal gave Johnny Gargano a rematch with Andrade Cien Almas in two weeks. He also has a special idea for Houston.

Roderick Strong is ready for his NXT Title shot next week. Drew McIntyre knows what he’s in for. It may be business, but all business is personal. It’s personal to him because he wants to be NXT Champion.

Liv Morgan vs. Vanessa Borne

Both of them say they’ll be the next Women’s Champion. Feeling out process to start until Liv gets two off a backslide. Vanessa’s clothesline is avoided by a Matrix so Borne just slams her head into the mat a few times. A drop toehold sends Borne into the ropes and an enziguri makes things even worse for her. Back up and Borne lifts her up, only to get caught in a Codebreaker for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D. As usual, Morgan makes sense on paper but she really isn’t doing much for me. Then again I’m not sure how strong they’re going to push her as there are far better options to go after the Women’s Title. I could see her in the four way but she didn’t really show me anything here. The same is true for Borne, who didn’t stand out in the Mae Young Classic either.

We look back at Velveteen Dream interrupting Aleister Black last week.

Black doesn’t want to see someone acting like they’re special in this age of individuality.

Video on Fabian Aichner from the Cruiserweight Classic.

Fabian Aichner vs. Kassius Ohno

Ohno cravates him to the mat but gets caught in an armbar. A big boot sends Aichner to the floor but he comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. One heck of a springboard dive to the floor takes Ohno down and there’s the old NXT chant. The aggressive Aichner can’t pick him up for a powerbomb (shocking) and Ohno grabs a small package for two. A powerslam drops Ohno but he avoids a double springboard moonsault. The Cyclone kick puts Aichner away at 4:49.

Rating: B. If he doesn’t have one already, I’d be stunned if Aichner doesn’t get a job out of this. He showed off a great mixture of power and speed here which isn’t something that’s done this impressively most of the time. Ohno getting the win makes sense but Aichner was definitely the star here.

Drew McIntyre is ready for Strong and whomever is next.

Video on Kairi Sane winning the Mae Young Classic.

Adam Cole vs. Eric Young

Cole’s normally tiny arms are already starting to look bigger. Bobby Fish, Kyle O’Reilly and Sanity are all at ringside. Before the match, Cole asks how this place survived without him. You can feel the change in the air and the shock to the system is the three of them. Cole says they are undisputed and this is their era. So there’s the name for the first time.

They stare at each other to start with Cole demanding that Young fight him. Young takes him down without too much effort and grabs a swinging neckbreaker. The guys get in a staredown on the floor though and Cole gets in a cheap shot to take over. Cole’s chinlock doesn’t last long so he enziguris Young to the floor instead.

Another staredown on the outside lets Cole knee him in the back and we hit the second chinlock. That goes nowhere so Young fights up and hits another neckbreaker. The fight on the floor finally breaks out so Young dives onto them instead of dropping the top rope elbow. Back in and a running knee to the face ends Young at 5:35.

Rating: C. The ending was actually a bit of a surprise as it’s far more of a clean finish than I was expecting. You had to give Cole the upper hand to end this one and him winning was the right call. Young didn’t really lose clean anyway and it’s not like this is heading anywhere other than a really big tag match, likely having Undisputed Era winning the Tag Team Titles at some point in there.

Overall Rating: B. The main event was actually one of the weaker matches on this show as the opener and Ohno vs. Aichner were both really entertaining. This was more about showing some of the new talents around here and setting up stuff for the future. They set up the NXT Title match next week as well, making this quite the use of an hour.

Results

Lars Sullivan b. Oney Lorcan – Standing Boss Man Slam

Heavy Machinery b. Demitrious Bronson/Patrick Scott – Compactor

Liv Morgan b. Vanessa Borne – Codebreaker

Kassius Ohno b. Fabian Aichner – Cyclone kick

Adam Cole b. Eric Young – Running knee to the face

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2017
Location: Gila River Arena, Glendale, Arizona
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re coming up on the Cell and that means we have to start hammering home some of the matches. At the moment we have at least one Cell match set, along with the World and Tag Team Title matches, either of which could wind up being changed to the second Cell match of the card. Other than that, there isn’t much to go on so let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens, which is easily the top story on the show at the moment. We hear the comments from both guys last week with both of them threatening some intense violence.

Here’s Owens to open things up, asking where Shane is tonight. Owens is tired of being called a coward over and over but maybe Shane is the coward. He knows better than that though because Shane is no coward. Not only does he respect Vince McMahon but he even likes him. If that’s what he’ll do to someone he likes, what will he do to Shane, who he doesn’t like?

This brings out Sami Zayn, who says Owens has lost complete control. Owens headbutted VINCE MCMAHON and anytime Owens snaps like that, it doesn’t end well. If Owens knows what’s good for him, he needs to stop right now. Owens laughs it off and talks about Sami signing with WWE two and a half years before him but it was Owens winning the US Title at Wrestlemania while Sami watched from the back.

Owens did indeed attack Vince McMahon and it was the best thing he could do because he did something, unlike Zayn. Sami says his day is coming and he’ll do it the right way. Sure Kevin has won a bunch of titles that Sami hasn’t but at least he doesn’t see a pile of trash when he looks in the mirror. Cue Daniel Bryan to make the main event for tonight.

Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin

Fallout from last week when Corbin was scheduled to have a US Title shot but Dillinger injured Corbin’s ankle in a pre-match brawl. Hang on a second though as here’s AJ Styles to join commentary. The distraction lets Tye throw Corbin over the top in a heap and we go to a break before the bell.

We’re joined in progress with Corbin getting two off a chokebreaker. An attempt at a second one doesn’t work as well as Tye scores with a superkick and a kind of one knee Codebreaker. They head outside with Corbin charging into the steps but being able to slip out of the Tyebreaker. Corbin throws water into Styles’ face and then throws Corbin into Styles’ chest to win by countout at 2:43 shown.

Post match Corbin says he wants Styles for the title at the pay per view. The match has been made after the break.

Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal says he might have went a bit too far last week but gets cut off by a NAKAMURA chant. Of course Nakamura is a worthy opponent and Mahal knows what it was like when Nakamura heard last week’s comments. For the THIRD WEEK IN A FREAKING ROW we do the laughing at Nakamura’s face shtick.

The third one is actually Nakamura though and he’s looking at Mahal right here on Smackdown Live. Cue Nakamura in person (thank goodness) to beat up the Singh Brothers in the aisle but Mahal gets in a few shots of his own. That goes nowhere and it’s Nakamura cleaning house, including Kinshasa to send Mahal sprawling up the ramp.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

New Day is in the front row. Mojo drives some shoulders into Jimmy’s ribs to start but gets kicked down for his efforts. It’s off to Ryder to clean some house, including a neckbreaker for two on Jey. Ryder loads up a missile dropkick but Mojo tags himself in, triggering an argument. Jimmy knocks Ryder off the top and it’s a superkick into the Superfly Splash to end Rawley at 2:17.

Post match the Usos go to yell at New Day, who says the title match will be inside the Cell.

It’s time for Rusev’s Pride of Bulgaria celebration with Aiden English as master of ceremonies and singing the Bulgarian national anthem. Rusev comes out carrying the Bulgarian flag and the Mayor of Rusev’s hometown reads a proclamation as Rusev stands on a platform. He’s presented a key to the city and we see a clip of Rusev beating Randy Orton in nine seconds last week. Rusev talks about the Lion of Bulgaria ripping the fangs from the Viper’s mouth. It’s his jungle now and English sings a special song….until Orton comes in with RKO’s for Rusev and English.

Sami comes in to see Bryan, who says Shane is on the way and wants Owens. Zayn begs Bryan to call Shane off because he wants Owens to himself tonight.

Orton tells Renee Young to tell Rusev that if he wants some payback, come see him at Hell in a Cell.

Charlotte vs. Carmella

Carmella chains Ellsworth to the ring. Charlotte can’t get in an early Figure Eight attempt but can get in a big boot. Ellsworth’s distraction sets up a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Charlotte fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Carmella gets two off a reverse DDT and nails a superkick. Not that it matters though as she walks into a big boot to give Charlotte the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it was little more than Charlotte getting a win before the pay per view. I really wish they could drop the Briefcase already though as it’s little more than a Sword of Damocles hanging over the title, which really holds back what they have going for it with Charlotte back in the title picture.

Post match Natalya comes out to says he’s glad Ric Flair is feeling better so he can see Charlotte lose.

And then a gong strikes…..because Dolph Ziggler is doing Undertaker’s entrance. The fans seem to buy it at first until Ziggler starts dancing around. Dolph says the fans look like they’ve seen a ghost, which makes him laugh because there’s no way you’re seeing Undertaker twice in a year. Ziggler starts ripping into the fans again but things become GLORIOUS in a hurry.

Bobby Roode comes out to call Ziggler a hypocrite. He claims to not care about what the fans think but here he is every week to entertain them. If Ziggler thinks he’s the best performer ever, how about he proves it against Roode at Hell in a Cell? Ziggler lists off all the things that it takes to be popular here: flashy robe, an entrance that involves audience participation and in-ring skills that match Ziggler’s. Two out of three aren’t bad, but anyone who steps in the ring with Ziggler will REST IN…..and Roode cuts him off to say their match will be GLORIOUS.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

They slug it out to start with Owens dropping Sami off a hard shot to the face. The Cannonball has Sami bailing to the floor as it’s all Owens early on. Back in and Sami scores with a clothesline but gets sent outside again. We cut to the back to see Shane arriving as we take a break.

Back with Owens getting two off a superkick but being planted off the tornado DDT. The Helluva Kick is countered with a superkick but Sami grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Owens bails to the floor so Sami scores with the flip dive in a nasty looking crash. The dive through the ropes is blocked by another superkick and the apron bomb crushes Sami all over again. The referee stops the match at 9:40.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to have an entertaining match though there’s only so much you can do when Sami is little more than a sacrificial lamb. If they play their cards right on this feud, they could set up a huge match between Owens and Zayn down the line, assuming of course they don’t give Shane the win due to reasons of general stupidity.

Sami is carried out until Owens decks him again. He wraps a chair around Sami’s neck but cue Shane to charge at Owens. Unfortunately he runs into the chair to knock it into Sami’s throat, allowing Owens to bail into the crowd to end the show. Unless it was off camera, Shane never even checked on Sami.

Overall Rating: C. They built the show up in a hurry tonight and as is usually the case around here, they did it without having too much in-ring action on the show. I like that for the most part as you don’t want to give away anything major with so little time before the pay per view. Shane vs. Owens better deliver though because that’s almost the entire focus of this show.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger via countout

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly Splash to Rawley

Charlotte b. Carmella – Big boot

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn via referee stoppage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Seriously, I don’t need anything for Christmas now.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 25, 2017
Location: Citizens Business Bank Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re past No Mercy and that means we have about a month to go before Tables Ladders and Chairs 2017. That means it’s time to build a card, which doesn’t seem likely to contain Brock Lesnar. It does however include Roman Reigns, who defeated John Cena last night and Braun Strowman, who fell to Lesnar in the Universal Title match. Let’s get to it.

Here’s are the Miz and the Miztourage for MizTV. After a quick look at Miz retaining the Intercontinental Title last night and bragging about his victory, Miz brings out his guest for the evening: Roman Reigns. Miz talks about Reigns’ accomplishments, including retiring Undertaker. Reigns says Cena carried the company for fifteen years and even an idiot like Miz can see that Reigns is the new guy.

That brings Miz to Jason Jordan, who isn’t good enough to be in the ring with him. Reigns disagrees, and says Miz wouldn’t win without the Miztourage. He tells Axel and Dallas to go get him a cold beer but Miz brings up Reigns having help in the form of the Shield. A match between the trios is teased and Reigns gets out of his chair, sending the Miztourage and company to the floor. Cue Kurt Angle to say Miz is facing Reigns tonight, but first the Miztourage will be facing Matt Hardy and Jason Jordan.

Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan vs. Miztourage

Jordan takes Dallas down without too much effort and northern lights Axel for two. It’s off to Matt for a headlock before the Miztourage being cleaned out as we take a break. Back with the Miztourage in control and Axel grabbing a chinlock on Jordan. That goes nowhere as it’s off to Matt for the middle rope elbow to the back of the head. Everything breaks down and Jordan does his running shoulder in the corner, followed by the belly to belly on Axel. The Side Effect into the Twist of Fate puts Dallas away at 10:25.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. What in the world am I supposed to say about this one anyway? Jordan was thrown in there because Jeff was hurt and it’s not like they have any other teams to throw in there. Heath Slater and Rhyno are available but they’re pretty low level, even for something like this. In other words, MAKE SOME NEW TEAMS ALREADY!

Quick video on Lesnar vs. Strowman, trying to make it far less disappointing than it really was.

Elias vs. Apollo Crews

Rematch from last night’s Kickoff Show. Apollo takes him down with a headlock and Elias can’t do much from there. Back up and Crews snaps off a dropkick and a clothesline, drawing a rather hard chant from the fans. Crews dives over the top onto Elias and poses with Titus, only to have Elias kick Titus’ knee out. Back in and Elias runs him over, followed by Drift Away for the pin at 2:42. That was Elias’ only offense.

Titus beats up Elias post match.

Finn Balor thanks Bray Wyatt for pushing him to the limit and says he wants the Universal Title match.

Here’s Curt Hawkins to issue a challenge to end his losing streak.

Braun Strowman vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins bails before Strowman gets in the ring so Strowman chases him through the crowd. Curt gets caught without too much effort and a chokeslam puts him through a table. Strowman takes him to the stage and powerslams Hawkins through the LED wall in a big crash. No match of course.

With Hawkins pretty much dead, Strowman goes to the ring and grabs the mic. After last night, he wants a real fight right now. Cue Dean Ambrose with a taped up shoulder to answer the challenge.

Braun Strowman vs. Dean Ambrose

Strowman throws him around to start and drives Dean into the corner. Dean stumbles backwards, slaps him in the face, and then falls down. The running powerslam is countered though as Dean grabs a sleeper. They fall out to the floor with Dean posting him, only to miss a charge back inside. Strowman gets knocked outside and Dean’s suicide dive into a tornado DDT plants him with a loud thud. Back in and a basement dropkick staggers Strowman for two. A missed charge sends Braun into the post but the top rope elbow is countered into the powerslam to give Strowman the pin at 6:32.

Rating: C+. This was fun and a good way to get Strowman back on his feet but for what? Where is Strowman supposed to go from here? He’s fought Reigns already so maybe Balor? Is that the most interesting thing in the world? Not that it really matters as we’re just waiting on Lesnar to return for his title defense at the Rumble anyway, making the whole thing a pretty big waste of time. But hey, Roman vs. Lesnar II right?

Angle is telling the referee for the Miz vs. Reigns match to keep an eye on the Miztourage. Cue Enzo Amore to say he wants a celebration for tonight. Angle doesn’t think so but once he can understand Enzo, he agrees to the idea. This is Enzo’s first title so Angle asks if he’d like some advice from a Hall of Famer. Enzo: “Nah.”

Seth Rollins brings Dean a bag of ice for his shoulder. Dean is still going to be at ringside for Rollins vs. Sheamus later. Seth is going to go request a match with Strowman for next week.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. She considers all of the fans her friends and she has to be honest with them: she is VERY disappointed with each and every single one of them. This morning she got up and looked at some messages about her title win but everything was about Sasha, Bayley or Asuka. Alexa has cleaned out the entire women’s division but here’s Mickie James to interrupt.

Mickie brings up Alexa insulting her on Raw Talk after last night’s show. Alexa says she’s been watching her since she was a little girl and Mickie was even on her top eight on MySpace. There are still some fans who say Mickie still has it but she’s worried about Mickie breaking a hip. Mickie brags about all the barriers and hearts she’s broken since Alexa was still in a training bra. Mickie: “And that seems to still be working for you.” Alexa calls her an old lady and gets slapped in the face, followed by a superkick for good measure.

Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus

Cesaro, even without the teeth, is here too. Sheamus throws him into the corner to start but gets sent shoulder first into the opposite post for his efforts. That means a suicide dive from Rollins, only to get caught in an Irish Curse back inside. Sheamus bends Seth’s knee around his neck before getting two off a sitout powerbomb. After a Cloverleaf doesn’t get him very far, Sheamus kicks the head out of Rollins’ jaw for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and Rollins grabs the wind-up knee for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much and felt like leftovers from last night’s great match. Rollins winning makes sense when he’s facing Strowman next week, though I’d like to see Rollins get back into the World Title scene. Of course, again, we need a champion around to fight and apparently we can’t do that for a few months now. Eh I’m sure this won’t be a problem whatsoever.

Balor comes up to Goldust, who isn’t cool with Balor taking shots at him. Goldust didn’t ask for nor does he need Balor’s help. Finn apologizes but Goldust hits him in the face and beats him up anyway.

Video on Reigns vs. Cena. After last night’s loss, Cena talked about his role changing in WWE and how much of a weight it felt like was being lifted off his shoulders when he lost. He’s not sure he can continue at this pace and while he’s not done, he’s transitioning.

Miz vs. Roman Reigns

Non-title. Reigns pops him in the jaw to start and knocks Miz outside without too much effort. Miz stays on the floor long enough to get Reigns to chase him, allowing a few shots as he gets back in. An Axel cheap shot lets Miz boot him in the face and we hit a chinlock. Reigns powers out but gets taken down by the Miztourage again.

Back in and Miz scores with the running corner dropkicks but Reigns pulls him out of the air with a Samoan drop. Yet another Miztourage distraction lets Miz get in the running clothesline and the YES Kicks. Reigns has finally had it and punches everyone in the face, setting up the apron dropkick. Axel offers ANOTHER distraction though and Miz’s short DDT is good for two. Not that it matters as Reigns spears him down for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. They weren’t exactly hiding what they were going for here and you can see the post-match stuff from here. However, as usual, they have no reason to have Miz job here when they could have just done a DQ. But hey, we can add Miz and the Intercontinental Title to things Reigns has conquered to the same level of reaction. Have I mentioned I’m REALLY not ok with the ending to last night’s match?

Reigns tries to fight off the trio but gets laid out with a chair. The Miztourage goes to leave but comes back for some more shots, including another big one with the chair. They throw in the Shield pose to really make this one clear.

Goldust vs. Finn Balor

Goldust goes straight after him and sends Balor shoulder first into the post. Balor gets dropped onto the barricade and we take a break. Back with Goldust holding a waistlock and kicking Balor in the ribs. Balor kicks him down and stomps away, followed by the Sling Blade and the Coup de Grace for the pin at 7:24.

Rating: D+. This was as good as Finn Balor vs. Goldust was going to be. Not that I’m complaining about seeing Goldust getting some time at this stage in his career but it’s not like there’s any real reason to believe Balor was in any real danger here. Balor needs something to do that isn’t Bray Wyatt but who else is he supposed to feud with at the moment?

Post match Bray’s lights come on and what sounds like a kid sings He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Yes, this is actually continuing for whatever reason they have this time.

Bayley and Sasha Banks are in the back before their tag match later. Bayley apologizes for costing her the title last night but says she wants to win it herself. Banks seems cool with that.

Enzo receives a no contract rule for his celebration, saying if any cruiserweight attacks him they can’t have a future title shot. Angle finds him very annoying.

Emma/Nia Jax vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Nia and Bayley start things off with the monster knocking Banks off the apron and flattening Bayley with a clothesline. Back from a break with Nia cranking on Bayley’s arm and sitting on it for good measure (Graves: “That won’t just separate your shoulder. That will divorce it!”). Bayley finally kicks Emma away, sending her right into Nia. The hot tag brings in Banks to clean house with some bad dropkicks and a Regal Cutter to Emma. Everything breaks down and Nia gets double teamed on the floor, including a good posting from Bayley. Back in and the Bayley to Belly puts Emma away at 8:35.

Rating: C-. You know, at some point Nia has to actually win something and stop getting taken down every single time. At this point we’re just waiting for Asuka though as she’s going to be a complete game changer for the entire division. The match wasn’t bad or anything but Bayley and Banks vs. Emma isn’t exactly in doubt.

Here’s Enzo for the closing segment. He says that it wasn’t a dream and first of all it’s time to talk about his morning. This morning, he woke up and looked at the title, which made him start reflecting. Over the last few months, there have been more than a cuppa haters. Those people were jealous, just like his former partner Big Cass. From the looks of Cass’ knee, Enzo was the one holding him up. He’s heard the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants and now it’s time to retire his jersey.

Enzo pulls a sheet off a framed Certified G jersey and says that he’s done the impossible by making 205 Live relevant. This brings out the majority of the cruiserweight division and Enzo starts cracking jokes. Rich Swann is a bad dancer, Cedric Alexander is the man that charisma forgot, Gran Metalik has a big gut, Gulak’s gear looks stupid….and here’s Neville to cut him off, again looking like a zombie after he lost the title the last time.

Neville rips on Enzo for making everyone around him miserable. Enzo has been tormenting the entire roster for a year and now he’s been dumped on the cruiserweights’ doorstep. He’s done nothing but make a joke out of everything and now it’s time to pay. Neville charges the ring but Enzo brings up the no contact clause.

Enzo says that this is the first time the cruiserweights have closed the show in the last nine months and it’s because of his star power. He moves more merchandise than all of them combined so he’ll see everyone tomorrow night on the Zo Show. Neville kicks him low and sends him through the jersey. Enzo tries to bail but the division cuts him off so the beating can continue. The contract is put into Enzo’s mouth and Neville superkicks him to applause from his fellow cruiserweights. The Red Arrow ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There were some good things on this show but sweet goodness it died in the last hour. That’s been the idea they’ve been trying in the last few weeks and it’s actually not the worst move in the world. People aren’t watching in the last hour so why bother wasting something bit when then audience isn’t around? The lack of a big story is hurting things but I guess we’re using the Shield reunion as a stopgap measure. Let me repeat that: the Shield reunion is a stopgap measure. That should sum up this show’s problem in a nutshell.

Results

Matt Hardy/Jason Jordan b. Miztourage – Twist of Fate to Dallas

Elias b. Apollo Crews – Drift Away

Braun Strowman b. Dean Ambrose – Running powerslam

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Wind up knee

Roman Reigns b. Miz – Spear

Finn Balor b. Goldust – Coup de Grace

Sasha Banks/Bayley b. Emma/Nia Jax – Bayley to Belly to Emma

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Mercy 2017
Date: September 24, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

I don’t remember being this excited for a B pay per view in a very long time. This show is all about the double main event with a combination of Brock Lesnar defending the Universal Title against Braun Strowman and John Cena vs. Roman Reigns in one heck of a big time match. That should be more than enough to carry this show so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Apollo Crews

No real story here as this was just thrown together for the sake of a Kickoff match. Elias sings a little ditty about Los Angeles but gets cut off by Titus Worldwide and Crews in particular. Elias shoves him away without much effort and grabs a headlock to keep Crews slowed down. An armbar has Elias in some trouble and Crews snaps off a dropkick to take over. Elias sends him to the apron though and knocks Crews outside as we take a break.

Back with Elias still in control until Crews punches him in the ribs and slowly slugs away. Crews fights out of a reverse chinlock and scores with the standing shooting star. An enziguri staggers Elias but he sends Crews into the corner, setting up Drift Away for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: D+. This felt like a long Raw match and to be fair that’s all it was really supposed to be. Apollo losing again doesn’t really do anything that bad for him as it’s not like h had anything going for him anyway. On the other hand you have Elias, who is looking more and more like someone they would like to push every single week. Good outing from Elias but not much of a match.

Elias goes after Crews again but Titus makes a fast save.

The opening video looks at the two main events and talks about how everyone has the potential to show no mercy.

Intercontinental Title: Jason Jordan vs. The Miz

Jordan is challenging after winning a six way on Raw. Miz gets a bit too cocky to start and walks into a series of suplexes for his efforts. A cheap shot to the ribs has Jason in trouble though and a DDT gets two. The dueling WHO’S YOUR DADDY/LET’S GO MIZ chants starts up as Jordan slugs away, only to get sent outside for a breather. Back in and we hit the YES Kicks to Jordan with Cole and Corey arguing over who invented them.

Jordan catches one of them in another suplex and a Saito suplex is good for a near fall. Some rolling northern lights suplexes give Jordan a bridging two and Miz bails outside again. Back in and Jordan slaps on a Crossface for a bit, only to miss the running shoulder in the corner. Another suplex drops Miz and now the shoulder hits but Jordan has to go after Bo Dallas. Curtis Axel gets in a cheap shot though, knocking Jordan into Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 10:10.

Rating: C. Jordan’s suplexes looked great but I’m not sure that’s enough to carry him to glory. He really doesn’t have enough of a character to make it work but maybe it just needs another tweak to really start clicking. Miz retaining is the right call as he gets to keep setting himself closer towards the most days with the title.

Post match Jordan says he’s love a rematch and thinks Miz sucks, just like the chants about his father.

Long recap of Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray targeted Finn for thinking he was a false idol with the Balor Club. Bray beat him on Raw but then lost to the Demon at Summerslam. Now Bray wants to win again to show he can beat Balor himself.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Bray jumps him before the bell and sends Balor into various hard objects. The referees come out to check on Balor and start to take him to the back until Bray says that Balor is a coward who is scared of the monster in front of him. Of course those are fighting words and the brawl is on early. Sister Abigail is broken up and Balor sidesteps a charge to send Bray outside.

Back in and Bray catches him with a superplex to stay on the bad ribs like a good villain should. Finn’s shoulder is sent down into the apron as Bray is picking him apart piece by piece. Bray gets caught in the ring skirt though (That’s still a thing?) and Balor kicks him in the chest. Back in and Balor goes up, only to have Bray do the spider walk to scare the heck out of Finn.

The Sling Blade puts Bray down but he pops back up for a shot to the ribs and the backsplash for two. A double stomp gets Balor out of trouble but he takes too long going up top. Bray pulls him back down and hits a heck of a clothesline for two more. Back to back suplex throws have the ribs in more trouble (good psychological sense) but he takes too long on the ropes too. Balor hits the running corner dropkick and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: C+. Better match than their last effort and hopefully this ends their rivalry so Bray can find someone else to beat him up for a change. The match ran into the same trap that so many Wyatt matches run into: I didn’t buy most of his near falls because it felt like we were just waiting around for him to get beaten. They really need to fix that if they want Bray to move forward. Balor on the other hand needs to be in the World Title picture like….oh anytime would be nice.

Asuka debuts at TLC.

Sheamus and Cesaro say they’ll win.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Ambrose sends both challengers outside to start but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Cesaro rams him hard into the steps and comes up (well, he’s still on the ground but you get the idea) holding his arm. Back in and things actually slow down a bit for the referee to check on the arm so you know it’s serious. Cesaro’s boot to the face gets two and he cranks on the arm for good measure.

Dean fights up and sends him into the post though, allowing the hot tag to Rollins so house can be cleaned in a hurry, starting with the springboard clothesline and a catapult into the post. There’s the low superkick as Cesaro is bleeding from the face, due to LOSING BOTH OF HIS FRONT TEETH WHEN HIS HEAD SMACKED INTO THE POST! AND HE’S STILL GOING! Sweet goodness someone get this man a…..what the heck should he get? Sheamus is ticked off (must be a dental enthusiast) and grabs three straight Irish Curses to take Seth down.

It’s back to Cesaro (now less bloody) for a big boot to take Ambrose off the apron. Rollins slugs away anyway and avoids a charge to send Sheamus into the post. One heck of a backdrop sends Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings Dean back in. Ambrose clotheslines Sheamus outside and, while still favoring the arm, hits a suicide dive. Back in and Seth has to save Dean from a double Razor’s Edge, only to have Cesaro kick him to the floor.

That means a Sharpshooter and Crossface for Dean, who somehow makes the ropes. The double Razor’s Edge gets two and Sheamus can’t believe the kickout (fair enough, as that should be a heck of a finisher). With nothing else working, the super White Noise is loaded up but Rollins is there for a hurricanrana….which is blocked through raw power.

Sheamus gives Ambrose the regular White Noise and Cesaro superbombs Rollins onto Dean for the most ludicrous kickout I’ve seen in months. Dean collapses before a Brogue Kick can connect so Sheamus tries again, only to hit Cesaro by mistake. The wind-up knee knocks Sheamus into Dirt Deeds to retain the titles at 15:57.

Rating: B+. Do we still have Isaac Yankem’s business card? I don’t think I need to explain that this was an insanely hard hitting match with both teams beating the fire (and teeth) out of each other. I wasn’t expecting anything coming into this and while the kickouts were ridiculous at times (unfortunately that has to be plural), heck of a performance here and worth checking out.

We recap the Women’s Title match, which is a five way due to trying to throw in everyone they can. Alexa Bliss is defending, Sasha Banks is getting a mandatory rematch, Nia Jax and Emma won a tag match to get here and Bayley is just there because reasons.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Emma vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bliss is defending her right to get killed by Asuka. Emma now has new music that starts with “it’s all about me”. Uh, nothing has ever been about you Emma. Bliss and Jax are knocked to the floor without much effort and it’s a rare triple test of strength from the other three. Emma is sent outside as well to give us the big showdown, only to have Nia back in and destroy the mere mortals.

Bliss comes back in and tries her DDT on Jax, who just shrugs it off in a nearly funny moment. Banks tries a save so Nia Samoan drops her and Bliss at the same time, leaving Bayley to dive in for a save. The guillotine choke over the ropes has Nia in trouble so everyone can get together and dump her out. Nia gets right back up and grabs Emma, who slips between her legs and grabs a powerbomb with Bayley helping and Banks and Bliss dropkicking her away from the ropes.

Nia lands ON HER HEAD but thankfully seems to be alive. Back in and Banks hits Rey Mysterio’s sitout bulldog on Emma, followed by the Bank Statement on Bliss. Bayley makes a save and grabs the Bayley to Belly for two of her own. Nia is back up though and starts destroying people again, including a legdrop on Sasha for two. The monster is taken to the floor but Bliss uses the distraction to DDT Bayley and retain the title at 9:59.

Rating: B-. THEN WHY WAS EMMA IN THE FREAKING MATCH??? Of all the people they could have take the fall (and by that I mean of like three), they pick BAYLEY? The one coming back from injury after her horrible run? They have the jobbiest jobber to ever job in Emma and she’s just out there on the floor with the rest of them while Bayley takes the fall? And they wonder why no one buys into her. The other problem here is Nia, who needs to actually win something at some point in her career.

Bliss says she’s a goddess.

Clip from No Mercy 2005 with Batista retaining the Smackdown World Title over Eddie Guerrero.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Cena came to Raw to face Reigns and then destroyed him in a series of promos. Reigns talked about Cena leaving for Hollywood and says he needs to win this match to really be the big dog.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns shoulders him down to start, drawing a YOU BOTH SUCK chant. Cena actually gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp (Huh?), allowing Reigns to follow him up and get in a shot to the face to take over again. Some right hands have little effect on Reigns, who drops Cena with a single shot for two. Cena sends him into the steps for a breather but still doesn’t seem to have the killer instinct going yet.

Reigns does the same thing to him, followed by the apron dropkick. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Reigns gets two. Cena gets in a few right hands but a pair of kicks cut him off again as Cena has still had almost no offense. We hit the chinlock as the announcers are suggesting that Cena is starting to lose his big match skills and the stupid fans chant boring.

Back up and the shoulder block is cut off with an uppercut as Reigns is nailing the heel style. Cena’s finishing sequence is initiated but the Five Knuckle Shuffle is countered with another Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is countered into an STF but Reigns powers out into the sitout powerbomb for two more. Cena powers up again and hits the AA for two on a very near fall that I almost bought.

The top rope Fameasser is countered with a not great powerbomb for two and another Superman Punch gets another near fall. Back up and Reigns’ spear hits the post (CHECK HIS TEETH! CHECK HIS TEETH!) so Cena grabs the super AA for another very close two that I bought more than the standard version.

With nothing else working, Cena loads up the announcers’ tables but his third AA is countered into a spear through the table, though Cena kind of countered it with a DDT. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” That’s only good for two back inside but another spear is countered into rolling AA’s for a two that I didn’t buy as much this time around. Another Superman Punch and another spear gives Reigns the pin at 21:48. Cole: “This may be the biggest win of Reigns’ career!” No Cole. No.

Rating: B. Yeah this didn’t really work like it was supposed to and the spamming of finishers was laughable at the ending. The fact that I bought the first AA, really bought the second AA, and didn’t buy the rolling AA’s tells you all you need to know. This was supposed to be some big win that made Reigns but he’s main evented THREE WRESTLEMANIAS IN A ROW. Excuse me if I’m not thrilled with Reigns winning the co-main event of a B show. It’s a big win, but this wasn’t anything close to the level of epic they were hoping for.

Cena raises Reigns’ hand and sits in the corner after Reigns leaves. The fans applaud and give him a THANK YOU CENA chant because they’re acting like he’s retiring for some reason. Cena goes to the ramp, turns around and salutes before leaving.

Miz tells Kurt Angle he wants a special MizTV with Roman Reigns tomorrow night because that win was the same as retiring the Undertaker. Angle agrees and says it’s opening the show. Translation: PLEASE DON’T WATCH MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Neville

Enzo is challenging and comes out dressed like Beetlejuice. Before the match, Enzo runs his mouth about taking the king’s queen (Enzo: “What is a king without a queen?” Still a king you buffoon.) and something about cookie dough. Neville wristlocks him to start and takes Enzo down with a front facelock. A backflip out of trouble just earns Enzo a kick to the leg as Neville doesn’t seem to be sweating this one too much.

Neville sends him head first into the corner and stomps away, followed by a sliding kick to the head. All champ so far and you can feel the screwy ending coming. One heck of a superkick drops Enzo again and more kicks have him reeling. Neville goes up but takes too long jawing at the fans for the Phoenix splash. The DDG gets a close two on the champ but he throws Enzo outside and over the barricade. With the referee at nine, Enzo holds up the title and dives back in. The referee takes it away, allowing Enzo to hit a low blow for the pin and the title at 9:43.

Rating: F. Enzo Amore is Cruiserweight Champion. This is a failure.

D for those of you who are picky about this kind of stuff. It was a squash with a screwy finish.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman, which is going to be a big collision. Strowman is the biggest monster that Lesnar has ever faced and he might not be enough of a beast to conquer him.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is challenging. Brock gets shoved down to start and a takedown attempt is shoved away. The first German suplex is no sold and Brock gets chokeslammed (Graves: “CHOKESLAM CITY BROCK!”). Braun’s running powerslam only gets two and Heyman is panicking. An elbow and headbutt block another German suplex attempt and Brock’s back gives out on an F5 attempt.

Braun posts him and sends Brock hard into the corner, only to miss a charge. Strowman gets caught in the Kimura and despite Braun grabbing the ropes four times, he settles for a spinebuster to break the hold. It’s Suplex City time with numbers two thru six having Strowman in trouble and Lesnar in a puddle of sweat. The F5 doesn’t work though and a second running powerslam plants Lesnar. A third only gets two on Brock as the fans aren’t reacting to these near falls. Back up and the F5 retains the title out of nowhere at 8:58.

Rating: D. Well that was garbage. They had something going in the first few minutes but Brock just shrugged everything off and hit the F5 to retain. You know, likely because we need Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. Braun made one big mistake coming into this match: he got himself over when he wasn’t supposed to and WWE isn’t changing their plans for anyone, especially if the World Title is involved.

Overall Rating: B. That was a heck of a surprise as everything I was looking forward to was either disappointing or just bad and almost everything that I wasn’t interested in was good stuff. Reigns vs. Cena was certainly entertaining though nowhere near as big as WWE thinks it was. Strowman vs. Lesnar….yeah we all bought into the false hope that we’re getting ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. It’s a shame, but I can’t really say I’m surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.

The rest of the show was actually very good with the low point being…..I guess Balor vs. Wyatt? I had a good time with this show, even if it was for the polar opposite reason I was expecting to. Still though, it’s one of the better B shows they’ve done in a long time and the good stuff at the beginning more than makes up for the lackluster main event.

Of course nothing makes up for Enzo winning. That’s a wound that will never heal.

Results

The Miz b. Jason Jordan – Skull Crushing Finale

Finn Balor b. Bray Wyatt – Coup de Grace

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Sheamus

Alexa Bliss b. Bayley, Nia Jax, Emma and Sasha Banks – DDT to Bayley

Roman Reigns b. John Cena – Spear

Enzo Amore b. Neville – Low blow

Brock Lesnar b. Braun Strowman – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: September 20, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s the go home show for the first (of many) week of Ultima Lucha Tres. Therefore, it’s time to get ready for the biggest show of the year and the card, as long as it is, seems mostly set. The question now is what will we be seeing on the shows, which could be in quite the interesting order. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap, uh, recaps things, like the Gift of the Gods Title match and Melissa Santo being drawn into a mixed tag to deal with the Martinez family.

Fenix is training Melissa Santos for her in-ring debut. She pins him down and asks to take his mask off but he slips out. He says he’s Fenix with or without the mask and he’ll lose everything if he loses it. Melissa says he won’t lose her and bends him back for a kiss.

Famous B. is doing commentary. I doubt he’ll rock the outfits as well.

Dante Fox vs. Texano

Texano yells at B. so Fox jumps him from behind to take over. A big dive to the floor is teased but Fox settles for a moonsault off the apron instead. Killshot is watching from the balcony and Fox throws him a point before hitting a Swanton for two. Texano gets the same off some clotheslines and elbows to the jaw. A cutter out of the corner drops Texano but he’s right back up with the powerbomb. That’s countered as well though and Fox gets two off a crucifix bomb. A tiger backbreaker plants Fox….and B. gets in the ring to declare Texano the winner. The distraction lets Fox grab a rollup for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This was fun while it lasted but I’m getting tired of this Famous B. stuff. He’s not funny and he’s not interesting but for some reason he’s been around for the entire history of the show. Fox vs. Killshot has serious potential, though that was barely getting any kind of focus compared to the Famous B. stuff.

Texano tries to kill B. but Dario Cueto says no because he needs a ring announcer. Instead he’ll be facing Texano next week at Ultima Lucha. Famous B.: “But I have a broken arm!” Dario: “Then I guess it will be a handicap match!” And that’s why he’s awesome. If Famous B. wins, Texano is his new client.

The Aztec Medallions are turned in before the Gift of the Gods Title match tonight. Dario calls in medics for later.

Marty Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

Melissa is uh, shale we say…….sweet goodness what was I talking about again? Mariposa cranks on Fenix’s arm to start until he smacks her upside the head. It’s off to Marty as things speed up, including some forearms and a kick to the head. A Lethal Injection gets two on Marty and there’s a big dive to the floor. Back in and Fenix keeps backing into the corner so Melissa can tag herself in. For some reason it doesn’t count and Marty drags Fenix back to the corner.

Mariposa kisses him before it’s back to Marty for a chinlock. Fenix fights up and shoves Marty into a kick from Melissa. The hot tag brings her in for a top rope seated senton and a double superkick to Marty. Mariposa gets sent face first into Marty’s crotch as Fenix drops Melissa onto Marty a few times for some near falls. Fenix gets crotched on top though and Mariposa ties him to the ropes. Oh this could get bad in a hurry. Mariposa and Marty surround Melissa and it’s an assisted Pedigree for the pin at 8:43.

Rating: C. This was much more storytelling than anything else and there’s nothing wrong with that. Melissa was great for a one off though I’m glad it seems to not be something they’re going with long term. Fenix vs. Marty should be a lot of fun, especially if the women get involved as a bonus. This probably should have been the Ultima Lucha match but I get why they went with it here….I think.

Fenix breaks out and makes the save before anything else can happen.

We run down the Ultima Lucha Tres card.

Gift of the Gods Title: Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

One fall to a finish. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m in trouble trying to keep up with this. Pentagon and Havoc clear the ring to start but Saltador breaks up the showdown. Saltador gets kicked like he owes Pentagon money, only to pop up with a hurricanrana. Drago cleans house for a bit until Pentagon takes care of everyone else and stands tall. London is thrown over the top onto a pile of people as this is just random spots so far. It’s Suerte coming in with a crucifix for two but Drago comes in with his running Blockbuster for the same

Saltador gets his own near fall off a springboard Fameasser but Havoc saves Castro. Drago kicks London down but Saltador comes in to take him down as well. It’s Havoc diving onto various people until London and Saltador double team Pentagon. Not that it matters as he package piledrives both guys, only to have Son of Havoc add a shooting star for the pin on Saltador at the same time Pentagon pins London at 6:44.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to say about a match like this as it’s just carnage until the ending. Havoc and Pentagon winning is fine as you can imagine the next match being added for one of the next four weeks. It’s an entertaining match but don’t waste your time if you want anything more than a spot fest.

Dario makes a ladder match for the title at Ultima Lucha.

Dario gets into a limo to meet Councilman Delgado’s replacement. He has the gauntlet with him but the replacement isn’t happy. Dario suggests that either Jeremiah Crane or Mil Muertes would be a good choice to hold it so we’ll have a triple threat with those two along with Cage for the gauntlet. The replacement is offered to come to the temple next week and a cigar is lit by someone in shadow to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. We’re to the point now where they just need to do Ultima Lucha and probably end the series once and for all (hopefully not on a cliffhanger). The wrestling wasn’t much of a point here and there’s nothing wrong with that on a show designed to set up the biggest month of shows of the year. Good show but more important for the future than this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Backlash 2003
Date: April 27, 2003
Location: Worcester Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

If WWE held the least important pay per view in recent memory, does it matter in the slightest? This is a glorified Raw pay per view with a handful of Smackdown matches thrown in to fill out the card. It’s a really bad time for WWE at the moment and I don’t remember looking forward to a pay per view less than this one in a long time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Rock vs. Goldberg, which is billed as a dream match (fair enough) but the build really hasn’t done it any favors. No other matches are mentioned.

As a side note: Scott Steiner beat Rico in the dark match. I know you hear about how big of a collapse his WWE run was but my goodness I never realized it was this bad.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

Eddie and Chavo are challenging. Team Angle brings out a framed picture of Kurt, complete with medals hanging off the corner. Haas starts with Eddie with the champ getting rolled up a few times for some early near falls. It’s off to Chavo, who stops to lay over the top rope for a bit of fun.

Benjamin comes in as well and Chavo actually wrestles him down, which only seems to give Benjamin a bit more of a serious look. A knee to the back slows Chavo down but Eddie gets in one of his own to keep Benjamin in trouble. What’s good for the champ is good for the Guerrero perhaps? Eddie gets in a few cheap shots on the floor and puts something into his boot. The slingshot hilo gets two as this has been all Guerreros to start.

For some reason Eddie lets Shelton tag out and some choking from the apron lets the champs take over. Shelton does the jump over Haas spot for two before slapping on one of his own. A powerslam sets up another chinlock as the match has slowed considerably. Haas comes in to stay on the back but a few kicks to the head allow Eddie to make the hot tag.

Heel miscommunication puts both champs in the corner but Shelton gives Chavo a good looking powerbomb. Eddie is right back in with Three Amigos to Charlie and Chavo gets a very near fall. A great looking frog splash crushes Haas so Chavo can get two more with Shelton making the last minute (perhaps post last minute) save. Chavo tries a suplex but it’s the Bobby Heenan Wrestlemania V finish with Shelton holding his foot so Haas can get the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. Good choice for an opener here with the mostly fast paced action and a few hot near falls near the end. They got some time to make this work as well and it was a better match as a result. Eddie and Chavo will be fine as they’re so smooth in the ring that they can make almost anyone look better than they can on their own.

Post match, Los Guerreros jump the champs and steal the belts, leaving in a great looking green car.

Torrie Wilson tells Test to stop calling her but he keeps hitting on her anyway. Test calls her a tease for being in Playboy and insists that she wants him. Being a human, Torrie says no because A, he’s Test and B, she’s Stacy Keibler’s friend. Torrie goes to leave but Test pulls her back and kisses her. She storms off as Sable looks on with a rather evil smile. This storyline just went from stupid to REALLY bad n near record time.

Before the next match, here’s Roddy Piper with a basket full of coconuts. Piper: “I have a loverly bunch of coconuts.” He introduces Sean O’Haire and promises that he’ll teach Rikishi that everyone pays the piper. When purchasing coconuts perhaps?

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

Rikishi wins a slugout on the floor to start and throws O’Haire inside for the opening bell. An early Samoan drop gets no cover as Rikishi has to go after Piper, allowing Sean to get in a superkick. We hit the neck crank with some kicks to the back thrown in for good measure. The fans keep booing something in the crowd as Rikishi fights up and splashes O’Haire in the corner.

Sean pretty easily kicks away the Stinkface as Piper gets inside with the coconut. That goes nowhere as a double superkick puts both guys down. Piper comes in again but gets coconutted to the head. The distraction is enough for O’Haire to hit the reverse Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. Terrible match of course but points for putting someone young over. I know the focus is on Piper (not a surprise) but at least they’re trying to push someone fresh. I’d come up with something other than the Snuka vs. Piper feud from twenty years ago, though at least they don’t have Snuka getting back in the ring. Yet at least.

Sable tells Stacy that Torrie kissed Test and even gave him the advance copy of Playboy a few weeks ago. I’ve started typing a few different things about how stupid this is but I think it speaks for itself. I mean…..Eugene was presented as ten times smarter than Stacy in this segment.

Rob Van Dam likes being a champion but says it doesn’t matter what happens tonight because Chief Morely (guest referee, as announced on Heat) won’t let he and Kane retain. Kane says they’ll take everyone down with them.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are defending and Morely is guest referee. Bubba jumps Van Dam from behind to start but a quick leg trip gets him out of trouble. A standoff slows things down but more importantly allows Van Dam to hit that signature pose. Bubba drops him with a right hand and does the same pose to a rather negative reaction. It’s off to D-Von vs. Kane as this is already feeling like a glorified Raw match. The abundant amount of empty chairs would seem to back up that theory.

A big boot gives Kane two and it’s back to Bubba to change things up a bit. The fans want tables but have to settle for Kane getting two off a spinebuster instead. Morely hasn’t been much of a factor so far. Van Dam’s split legged moonsault is good for two but it’s time for some good old fashioned cheating. D-Von comes in sans tag to draw Kane in as well, meaning Van Dam has to take What’s Up.

It’s off to a chinlock and Bubba actually comes in with a basement dropkick. Rob finally gets in a kick to the face and the hot tag brings in Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s Rob’s top rope kick to D-Von’s face. Rolling Thunder hits Bubba but Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline to D-Von.

Morely finally does something by hitting Kane low but a second swing hits Bubba in the jaw by mistake. That’s enough for D-Von who beats on Morely but Lance Storm comes in with a springboard clothesline. Bubba dispatches Lance without too much effort and it’s a 3D to Morely. Kane grabs a chokeslam on Bubba and the Five Star is enough for the pin from another referee.

Rating: C-. Overbooking aside, this wasn’t half bad but it was really just a longer version of what they do on Raw most of the time. The story is out of gas at this point and unfortunately that ending is likely to see it continue for whatever reason. The division needs more teams and hopefully the evil French guys can help out a bit.

Since this story hasn’t gone on long enough, Stacy goes to see Torrie, who says Test kissed her. Stacy doesn’t buy it and a cat fight is on. I have no idea why most of these women are here when they’re not on the card, nor why Ivory is in a towel despite not having a match.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and comes in banged up. We get a staredown early on until Trish actually takes her down without too much effort. A backbreaker gets Jazz out of trouble and we hit the double chickenwing. Trish gets thrown down by the hair and Jazz sits on her ribs for good measure. The comeback is short lived as Trish charges into a boot in the corner and the Stratusphere is countered into something like a super Styles Clash.

Jazz goes with a weak half crab but Trish reverses into the full thing. The Chick Kick gets two and Stratusfaction gets the same with Teddy Long throwing in a shoe (make your own Austin Powers joke) for the save. The referee believes that Teddy didn’t do it, despite the fact that HE’S ONLY WEARING ONE SHOE! Trish tries a sunset flip but Jazz sits down on it and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Rather solid match with a finish that felt like it belonged in the NWA. Above all else though they both looked comfortable out there, which is a big step up from most of the women around this company. Good little match here and the finish should hopefully help set up some fresh challengers for the title in the not so distant future.

Booker, Shawn and Nash agree to trust each other but Nash wants HHH for himself. Well they would be the only ones to want that match.

We recap Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio, which is entirely built around a single 619 that knocked Show down. For some reason, this warrants a pay per view match.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey trips him down to start and Show is annoyed again, earning Mysterio a toss into the corner. One of the hardest chops you’ll ever see or hear has Rey’s eyes bugging out of the mask and he rolls outside. Back in and Show stands on the chest for a bit until Rey slips out of a gorilla press. Some right hands stagger Show but Rey heads outside again, this time for a chair. The referee is conveniently knocked away so Mysterio can get in a chair shot, followed by the springboard seated senton for two. A 619 to the leg sets up a 619 to the face but the West Coast Pop is countered into the chokeslam to give Show the pin.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. I have no idea why this needed to be on pay per view as they could have either done the exact same thing on Smackdown or had Mysterio face Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title here. But no, the solution was to give Big Show a squash win, likely so he can have a big match next month. And of course Mysterio is the only person you can put in here against him because you can’t have show win a competitive match against a name of equal value (Benoit would have been a better choice). Putting this on pay per view in this form was ridiculous and more booking that makes my head hurt.

Mysterio does a stretcher job but Show picks him up and swings the backboard (with Rey still attached) against the post. Just in case you didn’t get the entire idea from the match you see. The bump looked great though.

HHH, Ric Flair and Chris Jericho are ready for the wholesome trio tonight.

Torrie and Stacy get in another fight until Scott Steiner saves Stacy. Test FINALLY returns to yell at Steiner for carry Stacy to the trainer.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena. Lesnar won the title at Wrestlemania and Cena has been calling him out both before and since the title win. Cena then won a tournament to earn the shot so it’s an actually well built match. Unfortunately it’s also the biggest match on the Smackdown side and feels like a slightly glorified TV main event.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena comes out in a Yankees jersey which must have his skin crawling. His rap talks about how he’s going to be added to the list of great champions, meaning he’s crazy like Mankind and coming at you from so many angles that you’ll call him Kurt. Cena jumps him at the bell and slugs away but you can only do that for so long against Brock. Two backbreakers into a fall away slam has Cena in trouble and Brock at the cut on his forehead from Smackdown.

A front facelock keeps Cena in trouble as Tazz goes into his rare yet useful explanation of how to get out of a hold. Brock stomps away in the corner and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Cena wisely bails out to the floor and grabs a chair but settles for throwing Lesnar into the steps instead. The cut is busted open so Cena slugs away back inside. A running shoulder sends Lesnar to the apron and there’s the middle rope Fameasser to put him fully outside.

Back in and we hit a chinlock for a good while before a DDT gives Cena two. Lesnar grabs a spinebuster to put both guys down for a breather as Cole starts talking about momentum. Tazz thinks whoever is up first might have the advantage. Thanks for that analysis there buddy. Cena is back up with a chinlock and a bodyscissors for a rather long while.

Back up and Cena gets driven into the corner for the break and it’s comeback time. Some clotheslines and a powerslam give Lesnar two. Cena is smart enough to almost send Lesnar into the referee, allowing John to hit a low blow for two more. It’s chain time but a quick F5 retains the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty watchable match (save for that long chinlock) but there was no hiding the fact that Cena was in way over his head and had almost no chance to win the title. Lesnar did what he could and sold a lot, though there’s only so much you can do when the ending is never in doubt. Cena would have his day of course but it just wasn’t here yet.

We recap the six man tag, which was all about who is Nash’s best friend. In other words, it’s a story that all of five people are interested in and for some reason we have to do this six man tag instead of HHH vs. Booker T. II here and Nash doing his hair somewhere instead. This is little more than a pit stop before Nash gets his big singles title match that isn’t interest in and no one wants to see anyway. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the big match in the eyes of the people who matter the most around here.

Kevin Nash/Shawn Michaels/Booker T. vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Chris Jericho

Nash wants to start with HHH but thankfully we do Shawn vs. Jericho instead. Jericho punches away in the corner but Shawn speeds things up and starts a pinfall reversal sequence. A Walls attempt is broken up and it’s off to Nash to hammer on the arm. Jericho skins the cat (I still want to know how it got that name) but Nash is smart enough to be right there with a big boot.

It’s off to Booker, who scores with a kick to HHH’s jaw, only to get caught in the facebuster. The spinebuster puts Booker down and it’s off to Flair for the old school portion. Shawn comes in off a missed elbow drop and house is quickly cleaned. Sweet Chin Music connects but HHH is right there with a Pedigree for the save. HHH and Flair take turns beating on Shawn until it’s off to Jericho for a hard belly to back.

Now the villains start in on the knee but an enziguri puts Flair down. That’s enough for the hot tag to Nash and we get the showdown with HHH. I’m sure the fans are all going to start cheering as soon as the shock wears off so ignore that silence thing. Snake Eyes and the side slam are good for two on HHH with Flair making the save. The chops have no effect with Nash fixing his hair while Ric fires them off.

Everything breaks down and Booker ax kicks Jericho to set up the Spinarooni. Sweet Chin Music is broken up and Flair grabs the Figure Four as Nash loads up the announcers’ table. He comes in for the save instead (how nice of him) but shoves Flair into the referee. The sledgehammer to the head puts Nash away.

Rating: D. So yeah, instead of doing HHH vs. Booker and Shawn vs. Jericho or Flair, we’re stuck with HHH beating Nash to likely set up HHH vs. Nash for the title. As usual, 2003 makes my head hurt and somehow we’re not even close to done with this story. The match wasn’t the worst by any stretch but sweet goodness it was boring and not the way to make me want to see anything else on Raw.

We look back at Mysterio being destroyed in case you didn’t get the idea the first time.

The update on Rey: there is no update.

Long recap of Rock vs. Goldberg, which doesn’t really have much of a story. Rock is coming off beating Steve Austin at Wrestlemania and Goldberg just showed up to attack him. The match was agreed to and Goldberg has been chasing him since. It’s basically Rock being a huge star and someone getting to beat him before he heads to Hollywood permanently.

Rock says he’ll win and doesn’t care much about Goldberg. This felt like nothing but the time filler that it was. The fans chant for Rock all over again.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

The entrances take a long time and Rock hits the floor before the bell as they’re hitting the stall button hard here. They stare each other down as the match hasn’t actually started yet. We’re finally ready to go after several minutes of killing time, which isn’t what this show needed. Goldberg shoves him away off the lockup, which isn’t that surprising as Rock isn’t known as a power guy.

They do it again with Rock falling to the floor this time around. Back in and Rock slaps him in the face, only to get run over with a shoulder. Rock bails again as the announcers debate music. We hit another long stall until Rock snaps him throat first across the top. Goldberg grabs a Rock Bottom but takes way too long on the spear, allowing Rock to send him into the post. The Sharpshooter goes on for a bit before Rock goes with a low blow.

That means nothing either and it’s a spear to cut Rock down. No Jackhammer though as Goldberg gets two off a slam instead. Good grief END THIS SHOW ALREADY. Rock hits a spear of his own (called a spinebuster by Coach, which isn’t that far off actually) and the Rock Bottom gets two. Now the spinebuster actually connects and the People’s Elbow gets two more. Goldberg pops up, hits a spear, ignores the GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, adds a second spear, and finishes with the Jackhammer.

Rating: D-. This was about as dumb as they could have gone with Goldberg doing the same kind of match that every WWE main eventer has with the multiple finishers and trading moves instead of doing the formula that got him over in the first place. It was a completely terrible debut match with Rock’s selling alone completely outshining everything Goldberg did.

Compare this Goldberg match to his recent return (true story: he wrestled more in this match than in a match, a Royal Rumble appearance, a title win and a title defense) and look at which got better reactions, more entertaining matches and just more success overall. It’s not hard to figure out why one was better than the other and a lot of it has to do with booking Goldberg like Goldberg and not like any other star.

Overall Rating: F. The problem here is much more based around this show not being necessary, at least not in this form. The Smackdown stuff was completely unnecessary with most of the blue matches being TV worthy at best and horrible at worst. If you can’t even fit Chris Benoit, Matt Hardy and Undertaker on the show (yet there was time for FOUR Stacy/Test/Torrie segments), just cut the Smackdown part out and let it be a Raw pay per view. Turn the six man into HHH vs. Booker II for the title and do Shawn vs. Jericho II with Jericho getting his win back while Nash is guest enforcer or something.

Then there’s the show itself, which peaked at a just somewhat above average Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros opener. The wrestling was terrible throughout with matches either not needing to exist or being so uninteresting that there was no reason to care about them. This show felt like it was running overtime and didn’t even make it to two hours and forty five minutes. It was an awful show which could have either been a standalone Raw show or just not existed and I don’t think anyone would have really noticed. Just awful stuff all around and a really bad sign of things to come.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 24, 2003
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Backlash and we have a Smackdown main event. This time around it’s going to be rookie upstart John Cena challenging Brock Lesnar for the Smackdown World Title, meaning it’s likely time for a big face to face showdown. Other than that it’s Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper tonight for reasons I don’t even want to begin to understand. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview the show with Cole making sure to say that “we are just 72 hours away, three days, from Backlash”. I have that 72 hours, three days thing burned into my head after hearing Cole say it all those years.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Before the match, Cena raps his history, which basically summarizes the tournament and says he’s winning on Sunday. He also promises graphic footage to prove that Lesnar shouldn’t be champion. Rhyno wins the early power battle and sends him outside, only to get dropkicked on the way back inside.

A middle rope Fameasser with Rhyno draped over the ropes has Rhyno in trouble and it’s time to start in on the neck. Back in and we hit the armbar for a good bit until Rhyno fights up with a powerslam. The still yet to be named Throwback sets up the ProtoBomb but Rhyno catches him in a spinebuster. The Gore misses though and Cena rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a power match here and I kind of like the idea of Cena making a power guy miss a catch him on a quick pin as it gives him another option to take the title from Lesnar. Unfortunately it wasn’t a great match in the first place, but at least Cena won and beat someone that the fans still care about.

Mr. America is coming.

The FBI annoys Chris Benoit for losing last week when they had a bet on him. They want their money back but Nunzio winds up with a match against Benoit instead.

Sable flaunts her body to Josh Matthews and hypes up the Sable Invitational body contest later tonight.

Some wrestlers toured a Navy ship earlier this week.

Chris Benoit vs. Nunzio

Stamboli and Palumbo get in some shots from behind while Nunzio has the referee. As usual the referee has no issue with Benoit being down despite his opponent not touching him and doesn’t even yell at the other Italians. They trade some chops with the Canadian getting the better of it (well duh) but Palumbo trips Benoit again. The Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser) gives Nunzio two and a swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. An enziguri finally gets Benoit out of trouble and grabs the rolling German suplexes. Nunzio pops up but the springboard armbar is countered into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D. I’m hoping they pull the plug on the FBI thing in the very near future as it’s just not interesting. Nunzio is the best worker of the team and even he’s only decent. On top of that, it’s such a simple and not very interesting idea. They’re just stereotypical mob thugs and that’s far from good enough to survive. At least Benoit won though.

Benoit gets beaten down post match.

Tajiri and Funaki watch Rey Mysterio 619 Big Show last week and have a hearty laugh. Cue Big Show to destroy the TV and VCR to blow off some steam.

Rey Mysterio vs. Crash

Crash is now an MF’er, meaning a follower of Matt Hardy, who only uses low fat salad dressings. Tazz dubs Crash a Moore-On as he’s working his way up to MF’er. Rey dropkicks Shannon to the floor but gets armbarred for his efforts. The sitout bulldog is countered with a belly to back suplex (Crash is the first person to come up with that counter?) but the kickouts frustrate Crash. Now the bulldog works fine and the springboard seated senton sets up a tornado DDT to give Rey two. The 619 sets up the springboard legdrop to put Crash away.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure how this is supposed to help Rey get ready for Big Show on Sunday. Crash doesn’t exactly fit the mold for a goon as he wrestled his usual not great match here without looking like anything more than a bad wrestler. This should be setting up Rey vs. Matt but it’s Rey vs. Big Show for reasons I don’t understand.

Cena gives A-Train a pep talk and shows him Lesnar giving him a very scary F5 that saw A-Train landing on his head. That was edited off the actual broadcast if you don’t remember seeing it. A-Train wants to end Lesnar.

Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper

Unfortunately Piper wrestles (work with me here) with his shirt off and the blinded referee doesn’t see Sean O’Haire hit a low blow. Some right hands knock Piper backwards and Sean takes a few of his own but O’Haire comes in to break up the Stinkface for the DQ.

O’Haire beats him down even more and adds the reverse Death Valley Driver.

The evil French guys (now officially La Resistance) are still coming.

It’s time for Sable’s body contest. Before anyone comes out, Sable says this is designed to see if anyone can be as sexy as Torrie. However, Torrie won’t be here tonight because she’s feeling a bit fat lately as she hasn’t been able to get to the gym with all the Playboy stuff. Nidia and Dawn Marie come out and are about to do their thing until Torrie comes out, as expected.

Nidia and Dawn do their thing and get their standard reactions. It’s time for Torrie, who hits on Sable, giving her kind of a standing lap dance, complete with lollipop, and….loses anyway. The beatdown is on and Torrie is left laying as this story is now more confusing than anything else. So Sable is now a lesbian cougar who didn’t interest Torrie but now Torrie is interested (or just playing the proverbial “mind games”) but Sable isn’t interested? Is that where we are?

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Team Angle is dedicating their win on Sunday to Kurt. Shelton takes him down without too much effort but lets Chavo up pretty quickly. Chavo scores with a dropkick and a clothesline as Tazz thinks Eddie stole money from him. Why were Los Guerreros never accused of stealing the FBI’s money a few weeks back? It’s kind of their thing to do.

Chavo’s hurricanrana gets two but he walks into a belly to belly for the same. A quickly broken camel clutch doesn’t do Shelton much good as Chavo grabs a flapjack. An STF that John Cena would think looks bad has Shelton in trouble but Charlie Haas pulls him over to the rope. The referee yells at Eddie for going after Haas, allowing Charlie to turn over a rollup and give Shelton the pin.

Rating: C-. They tried to put a bit too much into this and it wasn’t as good as I was expecting. At least they actually set up something for Sunday as that hasn’t seemed to be the case for most of the night. Chavo is the weaker of the team but he’s certainly capable of having a good match. There was a bit too much interference to let that work here though and it was kind of a mess as a result.

Cena talks trash to Lesnar.

Big Show vs. Tajiri

Show catches him without much trouble and a clothesline cuts off the kicks. A charge misses and Show crotches himself, allowing Tajiri to fire off more kicks. Show’s kick drops Tajiri again but here’s Mysterio’s music for a distraction. Not that it matters as the chokeslam plants Tajiri. Cue Rey in person to post Show, drawing a countout.

Rating: D-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Show has been humiliated twice in a row and is likely to squash Mysterio on Sunday, Rey is little more than a fly who is going to be swatted in the actual match, Tajiri gets treated like a jobber and Mysterio/Tajiri beating Team Angle to start the whole thing meant nothing at all. If someone would be interested in pointing out a positive in this whole mess, please let me know.

Stephanie McMahon is bent over a table for no apparent reason other than she probably thought she looked good that day (granted she’s not wrong). She’s an All-American girl and is happy to have Mr. America here next week.

Backlash rundown.

Brock Lesnar vs. A-Train

Non-title with Cena on commentary. Lesnar’s pyro when he jumps to the apron seems to shake Cena, which you don’t see very often. Joined in progress after a break with an exchange of power shoves. We hit a front facelock with Brock rolling A-Train around like he’s not even there. Back up and a big collision puts both of them down and it’s another staredown.

Brock finally gets a more definitive advantage by clotheslining A-Train to the floor, allowing Cena to trash talk even more. The distraction lets A-Train kick him in the face to take over, followed by the chinlock. Brock fights up but gets puts right back down with a hard shoulder. A powerslam works a bit better for Lesnar, only to have A-Train grab the Derailer for two. Cena: “WHAT’S UP WITH CHIODA DOG??? WAY OUT OF POSITION!” The F5 plants A-Train a few seconds later but Cena comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Slow, plodding power match here with an obvious and dull ending. Lesnar winning is fine and A-Train got in some big shots despite having no change to win. There’s no hiding the fact that Lesnar vs. Cena is the only Smackdown match that matters on Sunday but it’s looking like little more than a glorified squash. Bad main event to a bad show.

Cena chains Lesnar in the head and hits the Death Valley Driver (now the standard AA). A belt shot to Lesnar’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: F+. The best thing on the show was a lackluster Chavo vs. Shelton match as it’s clear that the Smackdown side of Backlash means absolutely nothing. Brock vs. Cena is the distant third biggest match on the pay per view card and everything else is complete filler. This show did nothing to shake that idea as the whole thing was Lesnar vs. Cena and everything else, none of which was interesting in the slightest. It was a terrible show and another part of a horrid stretch for the brand.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6