Starrcade 1984: Round One

Someone requested this a little while back so here you go.  Also, if you like this, I have a whole e-book of Starrcade reviews available right here.

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Starrcade 1984
Date: November 22, 1984
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gordon Solie, Bob Caudle

There isn’t much else to say here. Other than the main event all we’ve really got is Tully Blanchard vs. Ricky Steamboat for the TV Title. There are a bunch of title matches but it’s for stuff like the Brass Knuckles Title, the Florida Title and the Junior Heavyweight Title. This show just isn’t remembered that well at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the end of Flair vs. Race with Flair winning the title. A year later and Flair is much more of a tweener than a clear face as he was the previous year.

The announcers talk about the main event as the lights go out behind them. Some music plays and some lights flash as I guess this is the intro. Now there’s a spotlight on the ring and announcer Tom Miller introduces us to the show.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Denny Brown vs. Mike Davis

This would be the equivalent of the Cruiserweight Title back in the day but even less important. Davis is defending and I’ve never heard of either guy aside from this one single match. Brown seems to be the more popular one and takes early control with some dropkicks and headscissors. Off to an armbar on Davis for a LONG time but he comes back with some shots tot he back followed by a few slams.

Brown snaps off a forearm to the face but his back is too banged up to take advantage. Davis slugs him into the corner but walks into a dropkick for two. Back up and they collide to send both guys down. Back up and Davis tries a belly to back suplex into a bridge but Brown raises his shoulder for the surprise pin and the title.

Rating: D+. What in the world were they thinking here? Neither guy is a name whatsoever, the match was really boring and the ending was confusing (the announcer said Davis retained), making this one of the weakest opening matches I can ever remember. That’s not a good sign for a show with such a weak card already.

Tony Schiavone is in Flair’s dressing room….but doesn’t talk to him. Ok then.

Brian Adias vs. Mr. Ito

Ito is a career Japanese guy and Adias is a career Texas guy, which means the fans likely have no idea who either guy is. They go to the ropes to start and get a clean break. Adias is so generic it’s painful to watch. Adias takes him down with a drop toehold but Ito takes him over into a headlock. Back up and a dropkick puts Ito down and there’s a headlock by Brian. Ito armdrags him down and puts on an armbar as this is going nowhere. Adias (yes I’m spelling that right. It’s how it was spelled on his graphic) gets chopped into the corner but comes out with an airplane spin of all things for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is Starrcade right? The biggest show of the year and the show that was supposed to be the original Wrestlemania? We’ve twenty minutes into this shindig and Denny Brown vs. Mike Davis is by far and away the better of the two matches. At least last year I had heard of the people in the bad tag matches. Nothing to see here again.

The announcers actually talk about Adias for a few minutes. It’s so strange to hear what sounds like genuine talk about the match we just saw instead of hearing announcers talk about pitchmen for whatever the latest product WWE is schilling.

Florida Heavyweight Title: Jesse Barr vs. Mike Graham

Barr is defending. You might remember him as Jimmy Jack Funk from the WWF but odds are you don’t. Again, why should fans in North Carolina care about the Florida Championship? Graham immediately takes it to the mat and puts on a leg lock. Off to a chinlock on Barr but Jesse comes back with a top wristlock. Riveting stuff again if you can’t tell. It doesn’t help that both guys are in blue trunks and have similar hair. Barr’s is slightly longer so that’s as good as I can get for telling them apart.

We’re like three minutes into this now and it’s been almost all arm work. Barr takes it to the corner and bends the arm around the ropes before being reversed into a drop toehold from Graham. Back up and we get a test of strength which literally goes on for two minutes. Graham takes over with another armbar before trying his Figure Four, sending Barr into the ropes.

Barr grabs a headlock as we’re somehow nine minutes into this match and still firmly in first gear. There’s no heat to the match at all and nothing as far as a story. It’s just trading headlocks and arm holds for LONG stretches. Barr puts on another headlock and shouts about Graham pulling his trunks.

AGAIN a basic hold goes on for a long time until Graham fights out and goes for the knee. The Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Barr easily makes the rope. Mike tries an atomic drop and a rollup in the corner but Barr throws his feet on the ropes for the pin to retain. The wrestlers keep going for a bit for no apparent reason.

Rating: D-. From a technical standpoint this was fine, but good night this was uninteresting. I think Barr was the heel but I’m really not for sure. After a nearly twelve minute headlock and armbar marathon I really should be able to tell which is which. This was another dreadful match in a series of them tonight.

We get a clip of Dick Slater being tied up in the corner and choked while Ricky Steamboat is beaten up by Tully Blanchard. This is BY FAR the most interesting thing tonight. Black Bart drove a boot into Steamboat’s back off the top.

Zambuie Express vs. Assassin/Buzz Tyler

This is an elimination tag match and the Express is Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammad, with Kareem being the guy who trained New Jack. Tyler and Assassin are apparently your good guys here. It’s a big brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor in a hurry. We start with Tyler vs. I think Muhammad, the latter being a VERY fat guy. Both Express guys are in what looks to be military fatigues and Tyler knocks Kareem to the floor.

Off to Assassin vs. Akeem with the Express being knocked to the floor again. We get back to Muhammad vs. Tyler with Buzz getting beaten down in the corner. The Express crushes Tyler with a standing double splash but Tyler fires off some punches to come back. Everything breaks down again Akeem is sent to the floor. Tyler and Akeem are both countered out and we’re down to the Assassin vs. Muhammad. Just to keep the entire show at an awful level, the two of them collide and Assassin falls on top for the pin.

Rating: F. Another lame match here as it was a brawl for the most part and I have no idea what the point of the gimmick was. Also again the announcers weren’t sure when the match ended as they missed the countout elimination of the two guys. Assassin seemed popular but the match was such a mess you could barely tell who was legal the entire match.

Dusty Rhodes is sitting in a chair with a jacket covering him up. Is standing up too much effort for him tonight? He talks about how awesome he and Flair are but tonight we find out who the better man is.

Brass Knuckles Title: Black Bart vs. Manny Fernandez

This is a kind of Hardcore Title for lack of a better description but falls have to be in the ring. Fernandez is defending and comes out to Beat It by Michael Jackson. We go to the overhead camera like last year which is still hard to get used to. All four fists are taped up and it’s a slugout to start. Manny punches him down to start but Bart goes to the eyes. Bull (Fernandez, who was nicknamed Raging Bull) chops him back but Bart pounds him in the head.

Bart keeps pounding away on the forehead and the champion is in trouble. Actually scratch that as Manny fights up and pounds away, knocking Bart out to the floor. Back in and Manny punches Bart down, busting him open in the process. Bart goes to the ribs for a change to take over and the punching continues. Bull is knocked down and we see him from the overhead camera again. Bart can still only get two so he drops Manny throat first over the top rope. Bart tries to bring in a bullrope but gets rolled up and Manny retains his title.

Rating: C-. Is it good? Not really. Is it really even wrestling? Again, barely. However, it’s BY FAR the best match of the night so far as it was at least intense and entertaining which nothing so far has been. Also it helps to have a clear face and heel, which we’ve been completely lacking so far. Not a good match or anything but this was water in the desert by comparison to everything else.

Since we’re an hour in, here’s a seven minute intermission.

We get the ending to last year’s cage match, which is already the best thing tonight event though we only get about fifteen seconds.

Tony is with Ricky Steamboat and the lights go out so no interview.

We see the attack on Steamboat again and head back to Ricky, who has put up $10,000 for a shot at the TV Title tonight. His back is really hurt but tonight is too important to miss.

The announcers talk about the TV Title match. Apparently if Tully gets disqualified he loses the title.

JJ and Tully think there’s a conspiracy against Blanchard. Tully says Steamboat is going down and then he’s coming for the world title.

The announcers talk about the remaining matches for a bit.

Paul Jones vs. Jimmy Valiant

This is one of the longest running and most worthless feuds in wrestling history. Jones is a manager and Valiant is a good guy. This is a loser leaves town tuxedo match street fight, which means the first person to strip the other down wins. Valiant gets a GREAT pop and comes out with the Assassin while Jones has a member of the Express from earlier who isn’t important enough to specify.

Jones cowers in the corner to start before Valiant ties him to the top rope with another rope. Valiant rips off both guys’ jackets and puts one around Jones’ eyes. Valiant strips Jones down to an open shirt and underwear as this is one of those comedy matches minus the comedy. Jones loses his shirt and is in his underwear but the match continues. Valiant pounds him down and puts on a sleeper as Jones is squirting blood from his forehead. Assassin and the Zambuie guy get in and the referee goes down. JJ Dillon comes in and knocks Valiant out with a shoe, giving Jones the pin. In a tuxedo match. Why am I surprised?

Rating: F. Let’s see. Valiant wasn’t funny, Jones wound up in his underwear, and then he won by pin after three people interfered in a five minute match. Is this the show that introduced Vince Russo to the world of wrestling? ANOTHER bad match here as this is rapidly approaching the worst shows of all time. Jones and Valiant would feud into 1986 after having feuded for ten months already.

Ric Flair is serious and says that he’s ready for Dusty because the only thing sweeter than winning the title is keeping it.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

This is the other fallout match from the attack on Steamboat as it was Bass helping and Slater who was tied up in the corner. Bass is defending and is also half of the Mid-Atlantic tag champions with Black Bart. Slater knocks Bass to the floor to start and it’s time to stand around. Slater chases Dillon into the ring and out to the floor as we’re still waiting on any significant contact.

Back in and Slater suckers Bass into the corner before putting on the move of the night with a headlock. Back up and we go right back into the headlock as we wouldn’t want this to get too exciting. Bass bails tot he floor but gets pulled back inside very quickly. Back in and Bass rams Slater into the buckle and caught in the ropes where Bass punches him back and forth like….something that pops right back up when it goes down.

Slater comes back with some right hands and a boot over the face. After Slater is sent to the floor, Bass pounds him down but Slater starts Hulking Up. It’s short lived though as during the comeback, Slater hits the referee. Dillon comes in and gets beaten up as well but after a slam and legdrop to Bass we get the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as horrible as some of the other matches, but again this was nine minutes of punching and headlocks. That’s one of the major problems with this show: everything is so basic and low level that it’s almost impossible to get interested in anything. Also great job here of having Slater get revenge: by losing.

Now, a VERY slow rendition of the National Anthem to make sure we don’t get excited about anything.

Keith Larson/Ole Anderson vs. Nikita Koloff/Ivan Koloff

Larson and Anderson have Don Kernoodle with them for no apparent reason. Ok so apparently Kernoodle is Larson’s brother (despite having different names) and the Russians injured him. Makes as much sense as anything else. The Americans jump the Russians to start and the beating is on fast. We finally start with Ivan vs. Keith and the Russian’s arm being worked over.

Off to Ole to crank on the arm like an Anderson can. Both good guys stay on the arm and there’s the hammerlock slam from Ole. Off to an armbar as it’s clear we’re in for a long one tonight. Back to Keith again for a wristlock as this match keeps going. At least it doesn’t have headlocks though. The good guys make probably their eighth switch as Larson comes in to crank on the arm. Ivan finally gets some separation and goes up, only to be slammed off the top for two.

Anderson and Larson stay on the arm before Ivan FINALLY drags Anderson over to the corner for a tag off to the monster Nikita. He pounds Anderson down and puts him in a bearhug as momentum has completely swung the other direction. As is the custom tonight, the hold stays on for several minutes before Ole smacks Nikita in the head to escape. Back to Ivan who gets two off a slam.

Back to Nikita to break up a hot tag and puts on another bearhug. Anderson finally punches out of it and makes the hot tag off to Larson. Keith speeds things up but gets run over by a Russian Sickle (hooking clothesline). Everything breaks down and Kernoodle is knocked down. As Ole and Nikita fight on the floor, Ivan pins Larson off a chain shot to the head.

Rating: D+. The frustrations continue here as the heels win AGAIN. Not only does Kernoodle not get his revenge, but we have to sit through fifteen minutes of arm work to get there. It is indeed a story, but it’s a dull story. Somehow this is probably the best worked match of the night though which says a lot.

Post match Kernoodle beats up the Russians with his crutch. Good to see that a guy on a crutch and in a neck brace can beat up two monsters who just beat his brother and Ole Anderson.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Tully Blanchard

Steamboat comes out to Eye of the Tiger which is rather awesome. Blanchard is defending and both guys have put up $10,000, meaning Blanchard is getting shafted here. Also if Tully runs or gets disqualified he loses the title. They lock up to start and Tully goes after Ricky’s injured ribs. Steamboat fires back with chops and the champion heads to the floor. The crowd is HOT for this one. Back in and Steamboat suplexes Blanchard down and hooks a reverse chinlock.

Tully can’t shake him off for a bit so Steamboat knees him in the chest to take Blanchard down again. Ricky’s ribs are too banged up though and he can’t stay on Tully. An elbow to the ribs has the champion in control and he follows up with some knees to said ribs. Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner and chops away before putting on a chinlock. Blanchard fights up and gets to the ropes before hammering on Ricky’s ribs again.

Back up and they circle each other a bit with Tully backing away most of the time. Tully escapes a headlock and tries to bail, only to be rolled up for two. Steamboat pounds away in the corner and hits a kind of standing clothesline for two. In something you’ll never see again, Ricky spits in Tully’s face and chops away in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Steamboat as does a great looking dropkick. I think the champion is bleeding as Steamboat pounds away.

Tully loads up a foreign object as Steamboat tries to suplex him in from the apron and knocks Steamboat out cold……for two. That would be the ending of Tito Santana vs. Randy Savage a year and a half later. Tully’s superplex is broken up and Steamboat hits a top rope splash for two. Steamboat tries a sunset flip but Tully, right in front of the referee, pulls out the foreign object and blasts Ricky in the head with it for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B+. If this show doesn’t get a failing grade, it’s all because of this. This is one of those combinations that was going to be amazing no matter what they did due to pure talent alone. The story worked very well with the ribs being injured but Tully cheating every way he could to keep the belt. Very good match here which could have been amazing with more time.

US Title: Billy Graham vs. Wahoo McDaniel

Graham is challenging and is a kung fu master here in a dramatic gimmick change. He even comes out to Kung Fu Fighting. Tom Miller, the ring announcer, is actually taller than Graham. Billy is introduced as a former US Champion but I can find no evidence of him ever holding that title anywhere. Wahoo is teasing a heel turn at this point and starts with a test of strength for some reason.

Graham easily shoves him down so Wahoo tries to grab for hair. This completely fails since Graham is bald so Wahoo goes to the eyes instead. Graham comes back with a full nelson but the champion quickly makes the rope. Back to the full nelson but it doesn’t look to be locked in full. Billy tries some covers for two each before getting back up…..and getting chopped in the chest for the pin to retain Wahoo’s title.

Rating: D-. Erg this show is driving me crazy. The match was WAY too short and drags things back down after the great match we just got done with before this one. Wahoo was old and fat at this point but would be a good foil for Magnum TA in a few months. Graham would join up with Paul Jones to feud with Jimmy Valiant, much like a lot of other midcard heels.

We see the end of Race vs. Flair for the third time tonight.

Some Japanese guy, former world heavyweight boxing champion Joe Frazier and NASCAR driver Kyle Petty are the judges for the main event. Frazier is also guest referee and sounds like he’s taken way too many punches to the head.

The announcers say let’s go to the ring then change their mind because we’re not ready yet.

NWA World Title: Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair

Dusty is challenging and the winner gets $1 million. Flair is in pink and Dusty is in purple here which is a weird sight to say the least. Remember Joe Frazier is guest referee. Oh and Dusty is one half of the world tag team champions. Flair is the face here due to the hometown crowd but would be turning heel very soon. Thankfully only Dusty’s robe was purple and he has black trunks underneath. Dusty backs him into the corner to start and runs Flair over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock by Big Dust before Flair takes him into the corner.

They trade punches and chops with Dusty taking over again with a headlock. We hear about Dusty trying pro football but not liking the team aspect of it. That’s hilarious when you think about it. Some elbows take Flair down as this has been almost all Rhodes so far. Ric goes to the eyes to escape and drops a knee to the head for two. Dusty will have none of this selling stuff though and puts on his terrible Figure Four.

Flair gets to the rope so it’s time for Dusty to lay on Flair’s leg for a bit. We’re five minutes in according to the ring announcer and Dusty puts on a top wristlock. Flair takes it into the corner as this is still going slowly. A bad press slam puts Flair down and Dusty chops away for no cover. Dusty pounds away in the corner and sends Flair into the corner for the Flair Flip. Frazier tries to break up a suplex back into the ring by Dusty but Rhodes does it anyway for a very slow two.

Flair elbows him in the face to take Dusty down, only to go up and get slammed down. Even in 1984 that didn’t work at all. The champion puts on a sleeper but since standing up is too much for Dusty, he rolls forward and sends Flair to the floor. They head to the floor for some brawling and Dusty goes into the post, busting him open. Oh man it’s a BAD one too, right above Rhodes’ eye. The referee looks at it but Flair starts pounding away at the cut, and that’s good enough for Frazier to stop the match. Seriously. In the main event of Starrcade.

Rating: D+. What a perfect way to end a terrible show. The match never got going and it doesn’t even reach thirteen minutes in total. What kind of an ending is that anyway? Here’s how you end this match if that’s what you’re going to do: have Flair either DESTROY Dusty to the point where Frazier stops it to save Dusty’s career or have Dusty blacking out from blood loss. Dusty was up and throwing punches when the match was stopped, making it look like a technicality than anything significant.

Flair kisses the million dollar check.

In the back, Flair celebrates with the check and says he left with what he wanted to leave with and that’s about it. Not really a heel promo but he didn’t say that was unfair or anything like that.

The announcers talk for a bit.

Dusty goes on a big rant against Joe Frazier while having a towel wrapped around his eyes. He promises to get Joe Frazier somewhere down the line. Dusty says he’s coming for Flair still. This could be seen as either an irate face promo or an evil heel one, depending on how you look at it. That’s the problem with a promo like Flair’s: it’s so neutral that you can’t really do anything with it.

The announcers wrap things up.

Overall Rating: F. Before I get into this, let me make it clear: this is excluding Tully vs. Steamboat which was a very good match and is worth checking out if you have time. Aside from that though, this is one of the worst shows that I’ve ever seen. It is PAINFULLY dull and never picks up any steam at all. I know it’s a different time period, but I’ve watched shows older than this which aren’t boring in the slightest, like last year’s Starrcade for example.

On top of that there were WAY too many instances of the heels winning here. Look at last year’s show: the heels dominated the first half before the good guys too over in the last bit and sent the fans home happy. While Flair won here, he was the only top face to win. Other than that, the biggest face to win was Manny Fernandez in a glorified gimmick match. There is nothing else on this show to watch and the show suffers greatly as a result.

As I said before, no one remembers this show at all and it’s not hard to see why. The show before and after it would be MUCH better with the same main event being done far better the next year. Not a good show, not memorable in the least, and definitely not worth torturing yourself with other than Tully vs. Steamboat.

 

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Smackdown – March 27, 2003: Cena Begins

Smackdown
Date: March 27, 2003
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show for Wrestlemania and also my dad’s fiftieth birthday. Everything is pretty much set so there’s a good chance this is going to be little more than a slow paced final push towards the show. Hopefully it’s better than Raw, which really shouldn’t be all that difficult of a task. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Brian Kendrick vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

Kendrick now has theme music, but it’s not as catch as Matt’s, whose Mattitude will make Wrestlemania a success and is very humble. Shannon starts with Brian and gets two off an early snap suplex. A hurricanrana puts Shannon down though and it’s off to Rey to speed things up. Some raised boots in the corner slow Rey down but Rey dropkicks Matt for two.

It’s back to Kendrick but he’s quickly pulled into the wrong corner to start the double teaming. Shannon’s belly to back gets two and Matt gets the same off a wicked Splash Mountain Bomb out of the corner. Brian slips over for the hot tag and it’s off to Rey for the bulldog and springboard seated legdrop for two on Matt. A tornado DDT gives Kendrick the same and he drops Shannon with Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B-. Heck of an opener here with all four getting to show off a bit. I’m glad they didn’t have the fall between Mysterio and Hardy for a change and it’s not like pinning Kendrick is a big stretch. If nothing else it’s nice to see a match with some energy in the week before Wrestlemania as they were certainly absent from Raw.

Post match Rey hurricanranas Moore but walks into a Twist of Fate.

Hulk Hogan arrives with his son and Jimmy Hart.

Roddy Piper is interested in Hogan vs. McMahon.

Video of last week’s contract signing.

Here’s Hogan for hopefully (and not likely) the last big push towards the match. Hogan talks about having a business relationship with Vince for over twenty years but he never really knew the man. He’s seen Vince do some horrible, evil and often illegal things but he never knew how twisted Vince really was. If Vince is a genius, he’s an evil genius (no brother so you know he’s serious). He recaps the No Way Out ordeal and it made him so mad that he agreed to make Sunday’s match a street fight.

This won’t be his last time on Smackdown because Sunday is going to be a fight twenty years in the making. You’ll see a Hogan you haven’t seen in twenty years because you’ll have to see it. Hogan promises to leave Vince in a pool of his own blood to wrap it up. It’s a good promo, but we’re still talking about two guys who aren’t wrestlers at this point fighting over which of them is responsible for them both being multi-millionaires. That’s at worst the second biggest match on the show and it’s pretty hard to get behind that idea.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas

They trade leg trips to start and get two each as the fans are very behind Eddie early on. Eddie shoulders him down but seems to bang up his own shoulder. Charlie grabs a hammerlock and drops him arm first onto the rope to take over. A clothesline gets two and Charlie cranks on the arm even more. Eddie suplexes his way out of an armbar but lands on the shoulder again. A hammerlock northern lights suplex gets two but another suplex is countered into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. The arm stuff was a good idea here but the time hurt them a bit. Eddie and Chavo are starting to get over as faces due to pure in-ring ability and charisma, plus the whole not fighting the FBI anymore. Haas and Benjamin continue to lose, which almost guarantees that they retain on Sunday.

John Cena promises to teach Brock Lesnar a lesson like he’s Mr. Miyagi.

Video on the FBI, which is actually really well produced. Like, more so than their usual great production.

Lesnar isn’t worried about Cena.

Nathan Jones has beaten up Chuck Palumbo off camera instead of having a match. So five minutes ago we get a good video on the team and now one of them is left laying off camera. Well done WWE.

Vince training montage with Shane as his coach. Can he still catch a chicken though? This is missing from the Network version for no apparent reason.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are in the back when they see Torrie Wilson’s Playboy cover. Jamie can’t bring himself to say that Nidia is prettier.

Wrestlemania Moment: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

Video on Torrie’s Playboy press conference with Stephanie introducing her for whatever reason. Torrie has the best body she’s ever seen, which is the endorsement that Playboy has been looking for.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Nidia jumps her from behind and grabs a chair as this is already more physical than I was expecting. A baseball slide sends the chair into Nidia’s face for two and Tazz starts singing. The fans want puppies but settle for Torrie hitting a DDT for the pin.

Big Show and A-Train run into Nathan Jones and make fun of his prison sentence.

Sean O’Haire tells us to eat whatever you want.

Big Show/A-Train vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Cole thinks Heyman had something to do with this for the sake of softening up Rhyno and Benoit for Sunday. For once, that’s almost insightful. A-Train muscles Rhyno into the corner for a rare visual but gets stomped back for a nice reaction. Benoit comes in for some hard chops but one heck of a shoulder drops him hard.

It’s off to Show and Benoit gets tossed hard into the corner, only to come out with some chops. Show clotheslines him down and the beating begins. There’s the required big toss across the ring, which still looks cool every single time. A big headbutt sends Benoit into the corner and it’s off to A-Train for some stomping.

Something like a Gory Stretch has Benoit screaming but a Vader Bomb hits boots. Benoit finally gets in a German suplex and makes the hot tag to Rhyno, who has no issues running through the monsters. Everything breaks down but here’s Jones to go after Show for the lame but logical DQ.

Rating: C. This was actually going somewhere until the ending, which was the only option they had here. Rhyno continues to impress and I’m starting to appreciate his rather simple but effective style. Everyone was game here and it made for a better match than I was expecting, which isn’t that hard for a Big Show/A-Train match.

Undertaker comes in and helps clear the ring.

Kurt Angle is looking for Brock. Post break he’s in Lesnar’s locker room and says they’re a lot alike. The difference is that Brock is a 25 year old rookie and he’s not ready. This match is going to change wrestling forever because they’re the best in the business. If Angle gets destroyed on Sunday, he’s done enough already. He’s bringing everything on Sunday and is willing to end Lesnar’s career to win.

Lesnar doesn’t think this is as brave as Angle hopes it is because Kurt knows he’s safe until Wrestlemania. Brock is willing to lay it all on the line on Sunday. At Wrestlemania, here comes the pain, because Lesnar will do anything to win the title. Good stuff here, and I liked it not being in the ring for a change.

Wrestlemania card, with the Raw Tag Team Title match being moved to Sunday Night Heat.

Another Vince training video.

Gene Okerlund is ready for Hogan vs. McMahon and says they were both responsible for the boom.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Some amateur stuff goes nowhere so Chavo speeds it up with a headscissors and a dropkick for two. Shelton goes after the leg though and Chavo is in quick trouble. Benjamin grabs a leg lock but Chavo is next to the rope for a break. Shelton puts on a different hold (always appreciated) but Chavo reverses into a small package for two. It’s off to the third hold until a cradle gives Guerrero two more. An enziguri finally gets Chavo a breather and both guys are down. Eddie cuts off Charlie’s interference attempt, leaving Chavo to grab la majistral for the pin.

Rating: C. Oh yeah Team Angle is winning and they’re not even trying to hide it at this point. Chavo looked good here, which isn’t the biggest surprise despite his abilities often being overlooked. This was basically the same formula from earlier but with a different limb, which makes it no surprise that it worked.

Post match Team Angle attacks, only to have Rhyno and Benoit make the save and clean house.

Rikishi vs. John Cena

Cena debuts Basic Thuganomics as his theme music. He jumps Rikishi during his entrance and hammers away until a single right hand puts him on the floor. Rikishi gets whipped into the steps though and Cena pulls off the barricade padding to ram him back first. Back in and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things as things slow way down. Rikishi fights up and hits the Samoan drop. A superkick sets up the corner splash and Stinkface but the Rump Shaker hits knees. The ref bump allows Cena to hit the chain shot for two, followed by I believe the debuting FU (much closer to a Death Valley Driver here) for the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of fascinating to see so much of what defined Cena debuting in one match as he had the music, the finisher and most of the signature look all at once. It made him look like a star instead of the goof that he was for months leading up to this. They almost have to do Lesnar vs. Cena now and that’s not the worst idea in the world.

Cena calls out Lesnar and after a break (with Arnold Schwarzenegger hyping Vince vs. Hogan) gets his wish, only to have Angle jump Lesnar from behind with a 2×4. Lesnar is down and in pain to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a back and forth show with good action (FAR better than Raw) but at the same time there was so much Vince vs. Hogan stuff that it took away the limited interest I had in the match in the first place. I’m still not wild on Wrestlemania but this show did help a lot as they focused on a lot of stuff. Unfortunately one match got so much of the hype and it’s really not one of the best things on the card. It’s all going to be about the presentation and in-ring results on Sunday but they’ve got their work cut out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Back on the Impacto Estelar Podcast

It’s a fun chat as someone who calls me his mentor (egads the problems that man must have) and I talk about Raw 2002, some events from this week and wrestling in Puerto Rico.  Plus a bit of my backstory if you’ve never heard it before.  Please bear with us on some of the technical issues as the content is there despite some stuttering issues.  I’ve known this guy for a long time now and he’s a very talented writer who knows his stuff.

http://impactoestelar.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/InterviewKB.mp3

 

Check out his site too for a ton of content on lucha libre, albeit in Spanish.

Impactoestelar.com




Lucha Underground – August 23, 2017: When Great Isn’t Enough

Lucha Underground
Date: August 23, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s time for a big show with the finals of the Cueto Cup along with the Lucha Underground Title match between Rey Mysterio and champion Johnny Mundo. This has been hyped up for months now and I’m actually looking forward to what they’ve got in store. If they do this right, it might be the biggest show they’ve ever done. Well close to it at least. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps tonight’s events, including a mask vs. mask match between Sexy Star and Veneno, which is just a glorified storyline advancement.

The announcers give us a quick opening.

Veneno vs. Sexy Star

Mask vs. mask. Star kicks away at him to start but here’s Joey Ryan to unmask Veneno as Cortez Castro, which we already knew. Castro and Ryan get in a brawl and the match ends at 52 seconds….I think with it being thrown out but it could also be a DQ or a countout. Striker says Star wins so we’ll say countout as the referee looked like he was counting.

Johnny Mundo and his agent come in to see Dario Cueto because the boss doesn’t appreciate Johnny anymore. Johnny could get better offers with one phone call but Dario swears everyone is banned from ringside tonight because he can beat Rey on his own. Mundo threatens to leave with the title if anything screwy happens tonight.

Cueto Cup Tournament Final: Pentagon Dark vs. Prince Puma

The winner gets the title shot at Ultima Lucha Tres, whenever that is. They trade shots to the head to start until Pentagon charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He makes the mistake of bailing to the floor and gets caught with a flip dive to give Puma what is likely to be a short lived advantage.

Back in and Pentagon hits a Backstabber before they trade some hard chops. Puma kicks him in the face again and it’s a 619 into a springboard high crossbody for two. A tornado DDT is countered into a backbreaker for two on Puma but he’s right back with his rolling suplexes. Puma jumps into a pumphandle driver for a VERY near fall though and Striker starts yelling a lot.

A Mexican Destroyer plants Puma but of course he’s right back up and hits one of his own to put both guys down. They slowly slug it out until Pentagon is sent to the apron and then to the top. Puma kicks him in the head again for a super hurricanrana and, after a nod from Vampiro, drops the 630 for the pin and the cup at 9:32.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need two people to fly around the ring as fast as they can while kicking each other in the head over and over. This was a heck of a match and Puma winning while seemingly going full on evil (though not necessarily heel because Lucha Underground is an odd place) is the right call. Him vs. Mundo (or Mysterio again) would be a heck of an Ultima Lucha main event as Puma has been on fire as of late.

Pentagon leaves as Puma and Vampiro shake hands.

Post break Dario gives Puma the cup but it’s time to find Puma’s opponent.

Lucha Underground Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Johnny Mundo

Mundo is defending. No seconds to start but you know this isn’t going to be a straight match. Rey slugs away to start and a kick sends him outside for a sliding headscissors into the barricade. Back in and a springboard crossbody gives Rey two but Johnny chokes him down and grabs a rear naked choke which switches into a chinlock. The Flying Chuck gives Johnny two and there’s a hard running knee to the head.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing of all things until Johnny dumps him outside. Mundo misses a corkscrew dive though and gets ankle scissored down again. Rey’s springboard is blocked with a superkick and the kickout makes Johnny panic in a rare visual. A hanging corkscrew neckbreaker gets two on Rey and it’s time for the required ripping at Rey’s mask.

With that going nowhere, Johnny puts him in the Tree of Woe but crotches himself against the post. Rey reverses an Alabama Slam into something like a Canadian Destroyer (too common of a move tonight) for two. It’s off to an Octopus Hold on Johnny (I’m surprised Rey can actually do that move) but he escapes and grabs an over the shoulder backbreaker for two. The End of the World is broken up and Rey drops a split legged moonsault of his own.

Johnny bails outside and gets taken down by a top rope seated senton. They head back in with Striker FINALLY taking a break from shouting about how big and amazing this is. A victory roll takes the referee out (you knew it was coming) and Johnny breaks up the 619. Johnny grabs the belt but Rey’s son Dominic takes it away and drops Mundo. Security chases him off and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash….so Dario pulls the referee out. That earns Dario a 619 but Mundo takes Rey down and hits the End of the World for the pin to retain at 18:11.

Rating: B. The Dario stuff is interesting as you could have Rey fight the boss for a bit (and only a bit) though the ending wasn’t the biggest shock. Puma vs. Mundo sounds like a heck of a main event for the biggest show of the year but that could change as things aren’t exactly normal around here. Other than that though, this was what you would expect from Mysterio vs. Mundo: well done, entertaining, and a big fight feel. It’s not their Intercontinental Title match from all those years ago but it wasn’t supposed to be.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a weird one as the matches were both good (I’m not downgrading a show over a match that didn’t last a minute) but it still feels underwhelming. After the tournament being built up over two months, you kind of expected an epic show here and just got a show. This needed to be a pay per view style show with some extra stuff to set up the big matches. It’s still very good, but it doesn’t feel epic, which is what they were going for. Still worth checking out though as we FINALLY enter the home stretch for the season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




205 Live – August 22, 2017: It Was The Best of Times and the Worst of Times at the Same Time

205 Live
Date: August 22, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

For the first time in a long time we have a big time main event on 205 Live with Neville defending the Cruiserweight Title against Akira Tozawa for the third time in eight days. I’m sure the rest of the division being completely worthless and that being more and more a reality every single week has no connection whatsoever. Let’s get to it.

We look at the previous two matches between Neville and Tozawa which set up tonight’s rubber match (assuming you don’t count the previous matches of course).

Opening sequence.

Cedric Alexander/Gran Metalik vs. Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Rematch from last week. On the way to the ring, Nese rips on the crowd for never hitting the gym. Nese and Alexander start things off with Tony grabbing a rollup but walking into a dropkick to stagger him all over the place. It’s off to Gulak who gets forearmed square in the jaw before Metalik comes in some loud spot calling and a handspring backflip.

Gulak pops him square in the jaw to take over as Joseph offers some nice analysis by pointing out Drew’s hypocrisy of criticizing high fliers for showing off and then teaming with a showoff like Nese. It’s a good point and a nice catch. Metalik avoids a baseball slide from Nese and moonsaults down onto them in an impressive bit of timing. Back in and Nese loads Metalik into the Tree of Woe for the Full Contact Cardio but Alexander is smart enough to move his partner out of the way before anything can start.

Metalik comes back with a high crossbody to set up the hot tag to Alexander as things speed up. The springboard clothesline gets two on Gulak as everything breaks down. Cedric launches Metalik into a dropkick on Gulak, followed by a springboard splash for two more. Stereo flip dives take the heels out again and it’s the Lumbar Check to put Gulak away at 7:42.

Rating: B. These guys were FEELING IT here and they had a heck of a match as a result. I was having a great time with this one and they barely stopped the whole time. Metalik is a guy who I like more every time I see him and Alexander is still one of the top performers on the roster. Not that it’s going to lead him anywhere but at least he’s getting in good matches like this one.

Titus O’Neil gives Akira Tozawa a pep talk before his title match tonight. Titus: “Now give me two claps and a Ric Flair!”

Here’s Jack Gallagher for his gentleman’s duel with Brian Kendrick. Jack explains the idea behind the duel but says he hasn’t been very gentlemanly as of late. Sometimes though, people just rub you the wrong way and you have to knock them out. If Kendrick is so afraid of what Gallagher can do with his fists, just imagine what he can do with the selection of weapons in the ring.

Kendrick pops up on screen and laughs off the idea because only a clown would have a duel. He’s found Jack a suitable opponent though and here’s an actual clown. The clown sprays Jack with water (Fans: “KILL THE CLOWN! STUPID IDIOT!”) and gets beaten down for his efforts. Cue Kendrick from behind to attack Gallagher with an umbrella and powerbomb him through the table. Kendrick also issues a challenge for a No DQ match next week. This was long and bad as the clown stuff is really being forced into the whole thing. Just have them fight and be done with it already.

We look back at Rich Swann vs. Ariya Daivari from last week with TJP coming out on crutches to distract Swann to cost him the match.

TJP is playing video games in the back with his leg in a cast (Why did he show up tonight?) when Swann comes in asking for an explanation. It turns out that TJP hurt his knee in their match two weeks ago and was just coming out to see Swann win. TJP is willing to settle this with Swann if Rich can beat Daivari, presumably next week.

Cruiserweight Title: Akira Tozawa vs. Neville

Neville is defending. They start slowly with Neville working on the arm until Tozawa chops him against the rope. Oh yeah they’ve got a lot of time to use here. A headlock takes Tozawa down again before switching to a cravate. How British of him. The fans chant a rather rude term at Neville before neither guy can hit a kick to the ribs.

They trade some hard strikes as this is mostly even in the first few minutes. Neville snaps the bad shoulder across the top rope and it’s time for a hammerlock with the leg. A dropkick to the shoulder puts Tozawa on the floor and a gorgeous moonsault takes him down again. The referee has to check on the shoulder but Tozawa says he can keep going. Neville sends him into various things but gets dropkicked off the top for a comeback.

The suicide dive connects and Tozawa snaps off a belly to back for two. Neville comes back with the superplex but Tozawa interlocks the legs into a small package for two more. I’ve always loved that spot, especially when it looks natural. Neville is up first with something like a sitout F5 and a heck of a kick to the head for two.

Back up and Tozawa nails him in the jaw to floor the champ, followed by a running boot in the corner. We hit a pinfall reversal sequence before Tozawa kicks him in the head again. The top rope backsplash misses though and the Rings of Saturn retains the title at 16:11.

Rating: B. Another good performance between these two but I’m kind of sick of seeing it. I also have no idea what the point was of having Tozawa win and then lose the title so soon when they could have just had the second title change here. I mean other than filling the Summerslam card up as much as they can of course.

Post match Neville says Tozawa’s title reign was pathetic and nothing more than a footnote. Cue Enzo Amore (Graves: “VIC DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS???”) for his usual promo and to say this is now the realest show in the room. Neville sneers at him and leaves so Enzo calls him sawft to end the show.

Where do I even begin? First of all, this sums up everything wrong with 205 Live. You have those four in the first match going nuts and having a great match but none of them are getting anywhere near the title picture because, presumably, they’re not interesting enough. Heaven forbid they get promo time or vignettes or something to build interest in them, because obnoxious catchphrases and a lack of anything interesting in the ring makes you a more worthy challenger.

That’s one of the biggest problems around here and a great example of why the show isn’t necessary: you have the champion, the title contenders (as in all two of them) and then EVERYONE else who comes off like they’re several notches below two or three people at most. Even former champions like TJP and Rich Swann feel like they’re miles beneath Neville and Tozawa. Enzo isn’t going to be any better in that area as he’s a glorified comedy guy most of the time.

That being said, Enzo is PERFECT for this show. He’s instantly the biggest star on the roster and has more personality than the rest of the roster put together. It’s also not like he has anything else to do on Raw now that Cass is on the shelf. He would never be seen as a physical threat to anyone on the show but there are some names here he could hang with. It’s the right move for Enzo, but another example of why 205 Live doesn’t work as a concept.

Overall Rating: B+. That’s probably the best episode they’ve ever had though I have a bad feeling about where things are going. Enzo is going to become the focus of the show and since I wouldn’t mind seeing him stampeded by a herd of wild buffalo, that might make things a bit hard to sit through. The rest of the show ranged from awesome to a clown show, which makes this a great week and a nice addition to a lot of the Brooklyn run.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – August 24, 2017: You Never Get Used To This

Main Event
Date: August 24, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

I just can’t get away from the Barclays Center. If my math is right, this is the seventh show WWE taped from the venue in four days and hopefully that means they’ll be all beach balled out. Odds are this is going to be a run of the mill show though as it’s not like these things are really any different no matter where they are. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins

Slater sucks up with the Brooklyn 3:16 shirt. Hawkins does the FACE THE FACTS pose so Slater does a bit of a striptease to take the shirt off. A side kick gives Slater two and it’s off to the armbar. Hawkins knees him to the back to send Slater into the corner and that means it’s time for more posing. We hit the chinlock for as long as a chinlock is going to go before frustration starts to set in. A knee drop gets two and we hit the second chinlock. Heath fights up but gets tripped straight down, only to small package Hawkins for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: C-. This was actually better than you would expect with Hawkins playing a heel who was ahead but got too caught up in bragging to finish the job. Slater hung in there until he had an opening to capitalize on and won as a results. It might not be in depth but it’s a story, which is a lot more than you would expect most of the time for Main Event.

Off to Raw.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman says this isn’t a tape delay because we’re live with Brock Lesnar still your reigning and defending Universal Champion. He talks about the conspiracy against Lesnar, who fought off everyone else last night to keep his title. For the first time in his life, Lesnar was taken off the battlefield in an attempt to get rid of him without having to pin him or make him submit. But Lesnar wouldn’t have any of that and marched back down the aisle so conquering could ensue. As for tonight, there is no one in WWE or UFC history, like Lesnar himself.

Cue Braun Strowman and you can see Lesnar wince a bit. The fans cheer for Strowman as Brock gets in his face. A chokeslam is countered but Braun kicks him in the face and hits a powerslam to put Lesnar down. He starts to get up so it’s another powerslam, leaving Strowman to hold up the title.

And then again.

Here’s Sasha Banks for her first comments after winning the title. She may be from Boston but she’s always left her heart right here in Brooklyn. Like when she and Charlotte tore the house down last year at Summerslam, which allows her to wish Ric Flair well. Sasha plans on defending the title the right way but here’s Alexa Bliss to interrupt. She laughs off the idea of Sasha being the right kind of champion but wants nothing to do with a rematch tonight in front of these Brooklyn fanboys. They’ll fight soon enough but for now, Bliss is fine making Sasha wait.

Lince Dorado vs. Brian Kendrick

Brian takes him to the mat to start but Dorado flips up without too much effort. A quick trip to the floor earns Kendrick a hurricanrana and we take a break. Back with Kendrick getting two off a big boot and slowing things down with a cravate. Like WAY down as the hold stays on longer than it needs to.

A belly to back superplex is reversed into a crossbody to drop Kendrick and Dorado has a breather. There’s a spinwheel kick into a hurricanrana for two, followed by the springboard Stunner for the same. The shooting star hits knees though and Kendrick grabs the Captain’s Hook for the tap out at 11:19.

Rating: C. Another match that was better than I was expecting though again that’s not covering a lot of ground. Dorado is fine for a low level face and Kendrick has completely exceeded expectations in his run with the company. I’m still not sure how good of a finisher the glorified chinlock was but he’s making it work to a certain degree.

We’ll wrap it up with Monday’s main event.

Miz/Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns/John Cena

Cena bulldogs Miz to start and the fans are very pleased as it’s already off to Joe. The fans go nuts over something and Cena actually pauses to look at it…..because it’s a freaking beach ball. It seems that the ball is taken away with Cena looking annoyed, earning himself a beating from Joe. Miz comes in to stomp away and it’s time for the wave again. Now Cena joins in the wave, earning himself a quick DDT for two.

The cheering and booing continues as a beach ball is put into play and confiscated as the match continues to be ignored. Cena gets ax handled for two as Miz stops to tell the fans to pay attention. Miz misses a charge and it’s off to Reigns to clean house with clotheslines to no reaction. Roman gets taken down as well for the YES Kicks. The last one is countered into a powerbomb though and both guys are down again.

Joe Rock Bottoms Roman but Reigns heads outside to beat up the Miztourage. Back in and the hot tag brings in Cena for the finishing sequence. Joe cuts off the Shuffle though and it’s off to the Koquina Clutch. Reigns tries a save with the Superman Punch but Joe sidesteps it, causing Cena to get hit instead. The second Superman Punch hits Joe but Cena pops up and grabs the AA to pin Miz at 13:03.

Rating: C+. I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls, I hate beach balls. As usual, whenever you ask a crowd to pay attention for this long (to something they paid for of course), it’s bound to cause them to lose their interest and set off something like this. Naturally their response is screw anyone who doesn’t like it, because wrestling fans are selfish creatures by definition. I couldn’t stand this stuff in Orlando and it’s really annoying now, much like WWE encouraging this nonsense. As for the match, it was exactly what you would expect though Cena pinning Miz made me roll my eyes.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the better shows they’ve done in a long time with two completely watchable matches and some good stuff from Raw. I’m not sure how to live in a world where Raw is completely outshining Smackdown but that’s been the case for a long time now. That makes the recap show a lot easier to watch and two pretty good matches helped quite a bit. Nice show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part I: The Weight of the Wait

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part I
Date: August 11, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

So this exists. Back in 2015, Global Force Wrestling FINALLY got around to their TV tapings and over two years later, we’re FINALLY getting to see the things. Most of these people have moved on to different promotions but I’m really interested in seeing how these things were going to be. There were eight one hour episodes and I believe we have four of them here tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick intro, basically saying that none of this is scripted. It also comes off like a partial reality show with a lot of focus on people working as hard as they can to get here. It’s amazing how many of these names are already in WWE and in many cases have already won titles there.

The announcers welcome us to the show with Chael playing a heel and loving the idea of tournaments to win titles.

It’s a six sided ring because of course it is.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Seiya Sanada vs. PJ Black

The production values are quite good, probably better than today’s Impact. We get the crazy spinouts from the wristlocks to start and it’s off to a standoff. Black flips him down to the mat and grabs a headlock as the announcers explain Black’s background. A kick to the back of the head gets two on Sanada but he pops right back up with a dropkick. Black springboards into a dropkick to the ribs and we hit the abdominal stretch.

That goes nowhere (like you would expect it to in this kind of a match) so Black spinkicks him down, only to miss the top rope Lionsault. Sanada misses his own though and it’s a double breather. Back up and Black fires off some kicks but gets caught on top. A tiger suplex gives Sanada two and a TKO gets the same. Sanada loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, setting up the springboard 450 to send Black on at 8:45.

Rating: C+. So you know all those other X-Division style matches that don’t have much of a story but feature a bunch of pretty good flips and dives? Well this is one of them. Black is a good high flier and Sanada is a bit more well rounded but these matches just kind of come and go for me. It was good but another X-Division/Cruiserweight Title doesn’t do much for me anymore. We’ve seen it so many times that seeing it again isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world.

Here are the brackets for the first time.

Black

Sonjay Dutt

Jigsaw

TJP

Andrew Everett

Trevor Lee

TBD

Video on Kevin Kross. Believe it or not, he was inspired by Japanese wrestling.

The resident lucha libre team is ready for their six man tag later and two of them are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Here’s Bobby Roode, to his own Against the Grain TNA theme, for a chat. Roode says he doesn’t belong here because he’s always been and always will be a TNA guy. He lists off a bunch of people he’s held the TNA World Title than, which is better known as a list of people who will never be here. He’s here tonight to take the GFW World Title from Jeff Jarrett (who isn’t champion mind you) but here’s Nick Aldis, better known as Magnus, to interrupt. Aldis says this isn’t the Impact Zone and Jarrett brought everyone here to join the force. Cue Kongo Kong (who looks just as bad as he does now) to jump Aldis, allowing Roode to grab a Crossface.

Black is ready to move forward towards the title.

Video on Jarrett creating the company.

Bestia 666/Blood Eagle/Samu Jr. vs. Los Luchas/Misterioso Jr.

Zokre and Eagle start things off with a lucha sequence, which Sonnen says is reminiscent of the Hart Foundation. Everything breaks down and Zokre gets beaten down with a wheelbarrow Codebreaker planting him. The triple teaming makes things even worse with all of the technicos taking a beating as we head to a break.

Back with Eagle powerbombing Zokre for two as the announcers are trying to keep up with everything going on to little avail. Misterioso hits an Asai moonsault onto Samu and Los Luchas add stereo running flip dives. A Codebreaker and a hurricanrana driver plants Eagle and something like a Lionsault gives Misterioso the pin at 6:14 shown.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill lucha insanity but I have no idea who any of these people are. Commentary did a horrible job of telling us who they were and there was no reason to like one team over the other. It wasn’t bad but the days of just doing lucha for the sake of doing lucha are long behind us. Well save for around here and on 205 Live of course and it’s no wonder that neither is the most successful product in the world.

Here are the brackets for the Tag Team Title tournament:

Bollywood Boyz

Akbars

Los Luchas

Reno Scum

Celo/Misterioso

Teaze N Sleaze

Bullet Club

Killer Elite Squad

Preview of the rest of the season.

The second episode begins with a recap of last week’s show, even if it didn’t seem like much happened. The big focus is on Roode vs. Kross for a spot in the GFW World Title tournament.

Virgil Flynn and Kushida are ready to go after the Nex Gen Title.

Kushida vs. Virgil Flynn

Non-tournament and non-title with Kushida’s IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title not on the line. I’ve never heard of Flynn but Kushida is probably my favorite New Japan guy. They fight over a wristlock to start until Kushida grabs a front facelock to take over. A drop toehold puts Kushida into 619 position though and a kick to the head staggers him even more. Back in and Kushida kicks him down before sending him shoulder first into the post.

Bored of that, Kushida hits the basement dropkick for two. Virgil gets in a jawbreaker, which Chael describes as old school. It’s too early for the Hoverboard Lock and Virgil snaps him off the top with a hurricanrana. Kushida wins a slugout but his crossbody is countered into a powerslam for two. A 450 hits knees though and Kushida fires off kicks to the arm before just punching him in the jaw. The Hoverboard Lock makes Flynn tap at 10:37.

Rating: C+. Flynn wasn’t bad though this was just a step above an extended squash. Having Kushida around is a good idea as he’s one of the best in-ring talents in the world, though having the IWGP Title out there didn’t look good. You’re trying to convince people that you’re the best in the world. Don’t mention other promotions every chance you get as it makes you look like you’re riding their coattails instead of standing on your own. See also a major problem for GFW and ROH today.

Aldis says he’s fine and can appreciate Kong trying to make a name for himself. He’ll be winning the GFW Title though.

Kushida and Flynn endorse each other.

Video on the women of GFW. This includes Karen Jarrett talking about how many opportunities the women will be getting because she’s this company’s Stephanie McMahon.

Video on Kevin Kross, who seems to be a shooter/MMA guy with some anger issues.

Video on Chris Mordetzky, who is totally different than when he was in WWE.

Video on the Bollywood Boyz, now known as the Singh Brothers.

GFW World Title Tournament Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Kross

Roode works on the arm to start before lounging on the top rope. Kross reverses a hammerlock and runs him over, which isn’t exactly what I think of when I hear someone is a shooter. A quick breather on the floor seems to do Roode some good as he comes back in and sends Kross into the post.

The bad arm is rammed into the barricade a few times, which I guess isn’t MMA style as Kross is in even more trouble. Back from a break with Roode hitting the Hennig necksnap and cranking on the arm some more. The spinebuster looks to set up the Roode Bomb but Kross escapes into a rollup. Not that it matters as Roode reverses into the Crossface for the tap at 7:39.

Rating: D+. So much for the shooter/MMA guy. I know Jarrett did the thing where he was a fake MMA guy but does he know that there’s such a thing as real MMA style wrestlers? Kross was every run of the mill angry wrestler here with nothing that suggested he had a shoot background whatsoever. That left us with little more than a glorified (though not glorious) squash, which doesn’t do much for Kross.

Video on the Akbars, doing the standard “we’re treated differently because we look different” stuff.

Episode three begins with another recap.

Here’s a lounge singer named Henry Maxwell for no logical reason other than to be beaten down by the Akbars before their match.

GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Akbars vs. Bollywood Boyz

The Akbars are Ali and Omar, both of whom are best known from OVW. Gurv and Omar start things off and it’s a small package for two on Omar. That means it’s already off to Ali, who is sent scurrying back to Omar thanks to an armdrag. They have quite the low tolerance for pain.

Some double teaming puts Harv in trouble though and it’s a double suplex for no cover. Back from a break with Harv still in the wrong corner and a snap suplex into a chinlock. A running knee and elbow drop get two but hang on because we need to plug an upcoming Karen Jarrett appearance.

We get the classic fight to the corner for a tag the referee doesn’t see, which always makes me smile a bit. Omar misses a middle rope leg and there’s the hot tag to Gurv. A DDT and spinwheel kick get two as everything breaks down. Harv hits a top rope back elbow to the jaw, setting up a top rope elbow drop for the pin on Ali at 8:52.

Rating: D+. This was quite a bit of nothing special with the Akbars being as generic a set of villains as you could find. The Boyz were better, though still not exactly setting the world on fire. Their actual wrestling has never been great though at least they seem to have found their calling as the crash dummies for Jinder Mahal.

Sonjay Dutt is ready to win the Nex Gen Title to go with his bachelor’s degree.

Jigsaw is a masked man who has wrestled everywhere and sounds very standard for having such a cool name. He’s a hybrid wrestler and wants to win the Nex Gen Title too.

Another video on Mordetzky, with a lot of the same material being covered.

Here’s Karen Jarrett, who is introduced as the Queen of the Knockouts. She makes a women’s match for the main event but Lei’D Tapa and her manager Royal Red cut her off. Red doesn’t want to hear about the old news that is Mickie James. Karen tells her to shut up because she’s all tough and awesome. She wants Tapa to cage up her husband before her triple threat tonight with James and Christina Von Eerie.

Video on Kevin Kross, who wants to fight Bobby Roode again.

Nick Aldis is ready to face Kongo Kong.

GFW Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lei’D Tapa vs. Mickie James vs. Christina Von Eerie

The winner is in the finals because this tournament isn’t exactly deep. Tapa shrugs off an early double teaming attempt and we’re off to a way too early break. Back with more double teaming working better and Tapa being sent outside. Mickie hurricanranas Christina out of the corner as Tapa gets back in.

A double Samoan drop….hurts Tapa as well as she bumps her head on the way down. The Barbarian’s niece shouldn’t be hurt by a blow to the head like that. Come on and get your stereotypes right already people. James and Von Eerie double team Tapa down again but get in an argument over the cover (you might have seen this idea before). The MickieDT (and a bad one at that) drops Tapa but Von Eerie sends James outside. A Backstabber to Tapa puts Von Eerie in the finals at 6:58.

Rating: D+. Another lackluster match that followed the same formula you’ve seen for this match a dozen or more times. Von Eerie going over is interesting and probably a better call as James is an established star and Tapa, no matter how many companies hire her, still isn’t interesting. Not terrible here but I’m already forgetting parts of it.

Von Eerie gets the winner of Katarina Leigh, the Bullet Babe and Lauren James. She’s ready for any of them.

Here are the brackets for the World Title tournament:

Chris Mordetzky

Brian Myers

Nick Aldis

Kongo Kong

Shelton Benjamin

JR Kratos

Bobby Roode

TBD

The lounge singer from earlier turns out to be Kong’s manager. Uh….ok then.

Episode four means another recap.

Video on Sonjay Dutt vs. Jigsaw.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Sonjay Dutt vs. Jigsaw

They speed things up to start and it’s the fast paced moves with little to no impact that almost always start these things off. Jigsaw scores with a few shots to the face and a dropkick gets two. Cyrus talks about Jigsaw taking a title from Dutt in CZW to put him on the map. Chael: “You did NOT see that match.” Cyrus: “Uhhh…..”.

After making the face announcer look like an idiot like that, Dutt fights out of a Gory Stretch and dropkicks him to the floor. Back in and Dutt kicks him in the face before grabbing an Octopus Hold. Jigsaw sends him outside for the required flip dive, followed by the missile dropkick back inside.

Neither can hit a piledriver so we’ll go with the standard superkick to drop Jigsaw instead. A standing shooting star gets two and a tornado DDT gets the same. Jigsaw avoids a charge and hits a double stomp to the back, followed by a kneeling reverse piledriver (Jig and Tonic) to advance at 10:15.

Rating: C. Another good, fast paced match here though still nothing that hasn’t been done before. Dutt is a name that has been around forever while Jigsaw, who I’ve liked in the times I’ve seen him, was basically lost as soon as I heard him talk for the first time. His name and look suggests something mysterious but he’s just another guy from New York. Think this stuff through people.

Video on Kongo Kong attacking Nick Aldis on the first episode to set off their feud. Or whatever you can count as a feud here as they’re just having one tournament match.

Jigsaw is happy and Dutt praises him for his win.

Here’s Chael Sonnen in the ring for a chat. He immediately heels it up by telling everyone to be quiet and insults MMA fighter Phil Baroni in the front row. Sonnen issues something of a challenge and says the fight would be one more for the bad guy. Now he calls out Virgil Flynn and mocks him for the loss, only to say that he’s in the Nex Gen Title tournament anyway. I guess Kushida was too busy. PJ Black comes out, tells Flynn that he’s awesome, and superkicks him for a heel turn. Eh you have to turn someone.

Video on Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) who wants to win the title.

Video on Reno Scumm.

GFW World Title Tournament First Round: Kongo Kong vs. Nick Aldis

Maxwell does Kong’s entrance and is a pretty lame heel manager. The fight is on in a hurry with Kong missing a charge in the corner and falling out to the floor. Back in and Kong hammers away some more because he’s big and fat and therefore strong. Maxwell gets in a cheap shot from the floor so Kong can get two off a legdrop. We hit the nearly required bearhug and a belly to belly gets two on Nick.

Back from a break with Kong yelling at the referee so Maxwell can get in a cheap shot. That means another bearhug as they’re certainly staying within the lines of the paint by numbers formula. Aldis fights out and hits a belly to back suplex, followed by some clotheslines for two. A superplex plants Kong and the top rope elbow gets two. Maxwell offers a distraction so Kong can hit the Cannonball for two more. Kong misses a moonsault though and the Spine Shaker sends Aldis on at 9:27.

Rating: D+. What in the world does Jarrett see in Kongo Kong? He’s embarrassing looking and doesn’t do anything of note in the ring. We’ve seen big guys do moonsaults for over twenty years now and it’s certainly not as impressive as Vader’s or even Bam Bam Bigelow’s. He’s just a big guy who looks like a monster, which isn’t exactly the most impressive thing in the world. Aldis was the only option here and thankfully he slayed the monster in relatively short order.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of the trickiest things I’ve ever had to grade. First of all, it’s really hard to look at this as it was originally intended. These shows were A, meant to be seen week to week and B, aired two years ago. In 2017, it comes off like a bunch of Impact guys and people who have left for the greener pastures of WWE. That’s a very different presentation than they were shooting for but it’s really hard to look at it as originally intended.

As for the show itself….it’s really just ok at best. I look at the lineups and matches here and all I see is a group of people who aren’t good enough to be in WWE. Myers and Mordetzky stand out for me above all others. They’re the definition of WWE rejects and neither showed anything here to make me think that they’re anything more than generic wrestlers. That’s the case with a lot of people on the show and it doesn’t do it many favors.

You also have the severe lack of stories, though that’s to be expected on the first set of shows. This is ALL about the tournaments and really nothing more. The only other story is Roode wanting to mess with the company and even then he’s in the tournament. That’s fine for something like this but it needs to change going forward.

Another big problem is the commentary. It really felt like neither of these two knew a lot about professional wrestling. Sonnen sounded like he knew the combat stuff but his heel shtick felt really, really forced, especially his in-ring promo (which I remember hearing was literally just thrown in because Sonnen wanted to do it and Jarrett said sure). It seemed like they were given some notes about each wrestler and little more, which doesn’t mean you know something about the wrestling itself. It was really noticeable and became annoying very quickly.

Let’s talk about some of the good things because they definitely do exist. First of all, the presentation is great. The show looks like an upper level production with good lighting, good graphics and no major errors or flaws. It feels like you’re watching something with a budget and some effort and that can make all the difference in the world.

It also helped that the wrestling was all perfectly acceptable. There’s some stuff that wasn’t as good as the rest but it was all watchable enough with nothing embarrassing. They weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel with the matches and it made for a good enough outing, which is often all you can ask for from something like this.

Overall, the show isn’t bad but it’s also nothing that really stands out other than a historical (work with me here) curiosity. I’ll probably watch the other parts in the series (Part II, likely out of four total, has already been given a release date) and hopefully things pick up a bit. This could have been something, though it’s hardly anything that blows you away like New Japan or unique like Lucha Underground. It’s really just the not quite good enough for WWE troupe going out and putting on a pretty standard set of shows. Nothing bad, but also nothing memorable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ring of Honor TV – August 23, 2017: Boys(z) Club

Ring of Honor
Date: August 23, 2017
Location: Cabarrus Arena and Events Center, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, BJ Whitmer

Tonight is all about the Six Man Tag Team Titles as yet ANOTHER team has been thrown together for the sake of giving the champions some challengers. In this case it’s Dalton Castle and the Boys defending against Colt Cabana and the Tempura Boyz. And yes, it’s all because both bigger names have partners called Boys(z). Let’s get to it.

Dalton Castle says taking the titles from him when he’s flanked by the Boys is like trying to boil a chicken so he’s not worried.

Opening sequence.

Coast to Coast vs. Best Friends

Caprice Coleman jumps in on commentary and for some reason we keep looking at the commentary booth instead of the ring. Chuckie (Chuckie T, of the Best friends with partner Berreta) and LSG start things off with some flips going nowhere. It’s off to Ali vs. Berreta with some chops dropping Ali, who comes right back with chops of his own.

They head to the corner for a tag to LSG, who the announcers don’t realize was in the match already. Chuckie tags himself in before Berreta takes LSG down with a dragon suplex. That’s good for a big hug and we take a break. Back with LSG cleaning house and getting two on Chuckie off a faceplant. Berreta comes in for the save but Ali is right there to block a tornado DDT out of the corner.

Instead it’s a swinging Rock Bottom for two on Berreta, who bails outside for a breather. Back to back dives, including a corkscrew version from LSG, has the Best Friends reeling as Coleman is begging for them to go for a cover. Ali gets two off a frog splash but LSG’s 450 hits knees. Berreta’s running knee knocks LSG silly and it’s the piledriver into a cradle piledriver to put him away at 11:51.

Rating: C+. I liked this one more than I was expecting to, even if it just became a big spot fest near the end. The Best Friends are a popular enough team to eventually become a threat to the Bucks. Coast to Coast is getting better too and looks like they’re one of the better young teams who could mean something down the line. Or get split up for no apparent reason.

Jay Lethal talks about how rough it was to be put in the hospital for the first time in his career when Silas Young comes up. The brawl is on with Jay getting the better of it until the Beer City Bruiser comes up for a distraction, allowing Young to hit him in the back with a chair. Post break, Lethal demands any kind of a match against Young and/or Bruiser.

Matt Taven vs. Jay Briscoe

Jay tries to jump him at the bell but actually loses a slugout. Vinny Marseglia busts out an ax to distract Jay (well that could do it) so Jay grabs a chair to even things out. Since that could cause a bad case of death, they head back inside with Jay splashing Taven in the corner and adding a big boot for good measure.

Taven slips out of….something and knees Jay in the face. That’s enough time to check himself out in the camera though and we take a break. Back with Raven bailing out on a frog splash and getting caught with a Death Valley Driver. Taven’s Disaster Kick sets up a Lionsault which hits raised knees, followed by Briscoe’s hard lariat for two.

Jay slugs him in the jaw but a Blue Thunder Bomb gives Taven two more. The Climax (1%er) is broken up so Jay kicks him outside for a suicide dive. Cue Marseglia to interfere but Briscoe cuts him off with a neckbreaker. Now TK O’Ryan gets pulled in as well but he takes off his cast and knocks Jay cold for the DQ at 11:42.

Rating: C. Oh joy, the Kingdom is back. It helps to shore up the Six Man Tag Team Titles but on the other hand, it helps to shore up the Six Man Tag Team Titles. The team does nothing for me but I’ll take them as a trio over random singles matches. Briscoe is still in a weird place as he seems to be teasing a heel turn a lot of the time and then he does a straight face match like this. I mean, it’s hard to be a heel when you’re down 3-1 and one guy has an ax.

Post match the Kingdom covers Jay with chairs and then crushes him with more chairs.  Bully Ray and Mark Briscoe are nowhere to be seen.

Cody is ready to face anyone for the ROH World Title.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: Colt Cabana/Tempura Boyz vs. Dalton Castle/The Boys

Dalton and the Boys are defending. Colt and Dalton start things off and it’s time for some dancing, followed by the champs being sent to the floor for Colt’s own strut. That’s a bit too much comedy for me so we take a break. Back with the Boys bent over backwards to make themselves into a table. Dalton cleans house and then has a seat on them, allowing some much needed fanning up.

Back in and Dalton shakes his knees but Colt tags Sho in instead of having a dance off. It’s off to the Boys…..with one getting on the others shoulders. Sho does it to Yo and we’ve got a game of chicken. Thankfully Colt breaks it up to take over as this match is giving me a headache. Sho grabs a Fujiwara armbar but it’s Twin Magic for the save. Colt tries to make another switch but Sho does the same thing as this is what a championship match has turned into.

We take a second break and come back with the Boyz fanning Colt, allowing more Twin Magic to get one of the Boys out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Castle for some suplexes, including catching a diving Cabana. The Boys dive onto the Boyz and it’s Castle with the peacock strut. A double missile dropkick sets up another German suplex for two but the Boyz come in and take over without too much effort. The Boys pull the Boyz together though and a Bang a Rang ends Colt to retain the titles at 13:44.

Rating: D-. I can’t stand this kind of stuff as they’re just doing lame comedy and it’s for some of the most worthless titles in wrestling. The fact that this whole thing is all about “hey, I’ve got my own boys now” tells you all you need to know about it. Castle is far too talented and far too charismatic to be stuck in something like this. The Six Man Tag Team Titles need to die already, even if it ticks off Papa New Japan.

Post match Castle says Cabana has been an inspiration for a long time. Colt hasn’t made it easy to like him though as Cabana hasn’t accepted that Castle is just better. Now that it’s three straight wins for Castle, can he have Colt’s respect? Cabana shakes his hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. That main event killed what was an otherwise solid show. I’m probably not the audience for that kind of match but it just didn’t work for me. What also doesn’t work for me are these stand alone shows with nothing major in the way of storytelling. This is all about filling in time until we can get back to talking about the pay per view that was barely talked about in advance. Such is life in Ring of Honor, though it’s still rather annoying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 24, 2017: Say His Name

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 24, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a huge night in Orlando as we’re guaranteed a new World Champion. After Alberto El Patron was stripped of the title, a Gauntlet for the Gold was announced. It’s basically a Royal Rumble but the final two participants will have a singles match instead of being thrown over the top for the title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show with a focus on the American Top Team fighter attacking Brian Hebner.

We get some post-show footage of the MMA fighters yelling at Jeff Jarrett and the leader of the fighters saying it’s Lashley’s fault for trying to do two things. James Storm got in an argument with one of the fighters too. So……yeah this is going to be a big deal at Bound For Glory isn’t it?

Earlier today Jarrett talked to the leader of the MMA guys but Lashley got the boss away. It seemed to be more calm this time. I apologize if I don’t recognize a few of the MMA names but I’m a casual fan of the sport at best.

Jim Cornette addresses part of the roster and says no one is getting an easy paycheck or getting away without fighting. After fining Lashley for being late, he gives everyone a pep talk before the Gauntlet for the Gold.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Heatseekers

OVE sends them outside for a suicide dive/moonsault combination. Well they’re already off to a better start than last week. Back in and a double snap spinebuster takes down we’ll say Heatseeker #1. A Death Valley Driver plants #2 as this is rather fast paced. #1 gets sent into the corner and a twisting DDT sends him onto the apron. The superkick/running kick to the knee combination puts away #2 at 3:03.

Rating: C+. Now THAT was how they should have debuted. The team looked great here as they cared up the jobbers with all of their cool moves which is exactly what they should have been doing last week. The tag division is dying for some new talent at this point and OVE seems like a great addition so far.

Cornette is on the phone and says the fine with Lashley was $5000 and if it makes TMZ he’s fired. Eli Drake and Chris Adonis come in so Drake can apologize for getting off on the wrong foot with the boss last week. Drake wants a different number so Cornette makes him a deal: if he leaves Jim alone, Drake can have another number. It’s a deal so Cornette makes him #2. Eli: “IT’S THE SAME THING!”

Oh don’t let WWE hear you say that buddy. They’ll let you know how much more amazing it was for Shawn Michaels to enter in 1995 at #1 and survive a forty minute match than it was for Rey Mysterio to enter in 2006 at #2 and set the longevity record (seriously happened on a list of impressive Rumble feats they released).

We look back at Taryn Terrell returning to take out Gail Kim and cost her the Knockouts Title match last week.

Here’s Terrell in the ring for a chat. Taryn says she and Gail used to be friends with Taryn even going through some issues to be at Gail’s Hall of Fame announcement. Has Gail ever called her or thanked her? Of course not. SHE DOESN’T EVEN FOLLOW TARYN ON TWITTER! Taryn rants about Gail following her husband around the country before she cheats on him and leaves, like she’s doing to this division. She’s tired of this being the Gail Show (preach it) but here’s Gail for the fight with JB breaking it up. Taryn bails while she has the chance.

Video on the recent house show tour. The crowds might have been small but it’s a good idea to get them back on the road, if nothing else to help spread the word about the company.

Some people say they’ll win the title tonight.

Lashley and the American Top Team guys come in to see Cornette, who yells at them for what they did last week. Lashley needs to make a choice about what he wants to do and stop listening to bad advice.

Taya Valkyrie is coming.

We recap Grado’s attempts to stay in the country by marrying Laurel Van Ness.

Here are Grado and Joseph Park for Grado’s farewell to America. Park says he’s going to miss him and Grado goes into a list of American food he’s going to miss. He says goodbye but stops for a THANK YOU GRADO chant. Cue Laurel Van Ness looking completely normal in a rather revealing dress. She calls Grado the peanut butter to her jelly and the barbecue sauce to her ribs. She proposes to Grado and he says yes, only to faint when she kisses him. This brings out Kongo Kong but Mahabali Shera cuts him off and Kong bails.

Cornette is in his office with Eddie Edwards and praises him for wrestling through an injury the night Cornette met him. Jim thinks Anthem would be proud to have Eddie as champion.

LAX talks about beer and tells Low Ki to win the title tonight.

GFW World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

They have almost an hour for this. There are twenty entrants with a two minute interval for the first two and then ninety seconds between all following entrants. It’s over the top rope eliminations until there are two left and then it’s a regular match for the title. Eddie Edwards is in at #1 and Eli Drake is in at #2. They stall to start (makes sense in something like this) until Eddie slaps him in the face. Drake tries to low bridge him but gets chopped for his efforts as Mario Bokara is in at #3.

A German suplex drops Edwards and it’s a double stomp to put him in trouble. Naturally Drake turns on Mario but Eddie gets back up as it’s Kingston in at #4. Nothing of note happens until it’s Braxton Sutter in at #5. Things slow down again as they tend to do in these things until it’s Richard Justice (the standby wrestler) in at #6. Justice does his exercises both outside and inside the ring until Ethan Carter III is in at #7. Carter talks to Justice before kicking him low and tossing him for the first elimination.

Back from a break with time having stood still as Kongo Kong is in at #8. Kong throws out Bokara and Kingston to clear the ring a bit, only to have everyone else jump him to little avail. Suicide is in at #9 for the trust fall onto everyone with only Kong left standing. Drake bails to the floor without being eliminated and it’s Mahabali Shera in at #10 giving us Shera, Drake, Edwards, Carter, Suicide, Kong and Sutter. Shera low bridges Kong to the floor and it’s Chris Adonis in at #11 to team up with Drake. They get rid of Shera as Suicide and Sutter chop away at Carter. El Hijo Del Fantasma is in at #12 and we take another break.

Back again with Johnny Impact making his debut at #13 and getting rid of Adonis and Suicide without too much effort. Garza Jr. is in at #14 with a missile dropkick to Impact. Sutter breaks up his stripping routine and gets eliminated for his efforts. Fallah Bahh is in at #15 to give us Bahh, Edwards, Drake, Carter, Fantasma, Impact and Garza. Fat man offense ensues and it’s KM at #16.

Drake and Carter fight to the apron as Taiji Ishimori is in at #17. Lashley is in at #18 and it should be time to clear the ring a bit. KM is the first victim, followed by Bahh with no effort. Ishimori actually takes Lashley down with a springboard seated senton, only to slip on another springboard and get eliminated as well. Moose is in at #19 to beat some people up but he’s nice enough to let Garza strip. A powerbomb eliminates Garza, though luckily for him KM was still on the floor to catch him. Back from a break with Low Ki in at #20 to give us a final grouping of Edwards, Drake, Carter, Fantasma, Impact, Lashley, Moose and Low Ki.

Impact tries to catapult Low Ki out but gets caught in a double stomp instead. Fantasma cross bodies Carter and hits a jumping superkick, only to get TK3’d over the top. A pair of kicks to the head gets rid of Carter and we’re down to six. Moose dumps Low Ki and we take our final break. Back again with Lashley spearing Moose but getting caught with the Flying Chuck. Drake plants Impact, followed by Lashley missing a charge to eliminate himself. Edwards hurricanranas Moose out and we’re down to Drake, Edwards and Impact.

Drake gets knocked to the apron and kneed in the head but he hangs on by his feet and pulls himself back in. Impact loads up the Flying Chuck but gets dropped onto the apron. Drake dives through the ropes to the floor (not eliminated) and pulls Impact outside for the elimination. We’re down to Drake vs. Edwards for the title and it’s Eddie hitting the Shot of Caffeine to start fast. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Drake but he rolls through a high crossbody. Drake muscles him up into the Eli Drop (White Noise) for the pin and the title at 55:48. As usual, the announcers act like they’re ordering dinner because they can’t show emotion.

Rating: C-. Mostly dull match here but that’s almost always the case with most of these things. You’re only going to get so much out of a Royal Rumble with the better part of an hour and this could have been worse. Drake winning is a major plus for me as I’ve been a big fan of his for several months now. If nothing else I was expecting them to just give the title to Impact but it’s nice that they might make us wait a few months first. Watchable match, but nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

The celebration is on but hang on because American Top Team is beating up someone at ringside. Dan Lambert (the Top Team leader) shoves Scott D’Amore down as the team is lead off. Oh yeah and Drake is World Champion to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Annoying focus on the MMA stuff aside, this was a completely fine show that accomplished its major goal. I’m very glad that the title match got so much time as it feels more important than just throwing them out there for fifteen or so minutes. Now that they’ve done something here though, they need to follow up on it, which has long since been a major issue around here. At least there’s an entertaining champion though and that’s a very good start.

Results

OVE b. Heatseekers – Superkick/Running kick to the knee combination to #2

Eli Drake won Gauntlet for the Gold – Eli Drop to Eddie Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




A Much Longer Than Anticipated Look at Bayley

I originally wrote this as a comment on a blog post about why Bayley isn’t working.  It was originally going to be a paragraph or two and wound up being two pages.  Here’s my take on why Bayley has completely missed on the main roster and why that’s not a surprise at all (nor is it her fault).

As a big Bayley fan who has been more angered by how she’s been used on the main roster than most, this is going to be a long one.

This is the NXT to WWE issue in a nutshell: NXT is all about the journey moreso than the result while WWE is all about what’s going on right now.

Bayley started off as nothing in NXT, much like so many others down there. She slowly started building herself up and then started getting over with the hugging stuff. Then she was the biggest thing in NXT, either male or female (just listen to that pop for her entrance in London).

The other key was how people could relate to her. It’s similar to Mick Foley in a way. Bayley had wanted to do this her whole life and fought and worked to get there. Her success wasn’t due to being Snoop Dogg’s cousin or a 6’0 physical specimen like Charlotte. She got where she was because she never gave up and kept working hard no matter what knocked her back. That kind of character will always work in any form of entertainment because people naturally appreciate hard work and fighting for your dreams. When she finally won the title in Brooklyn, people were connected to her and it was like they were beating Sasha with her (the fact that it was a great match helped too).

Now let’s look at her WWE run.

She shows up in August and is treated as the latest challenger to Charlotte since Sasha Banks is out with an injury. That makes her look like a second tier performer right off the bat. After losing the title match (with Banks also involved), she trades wins with Dana Brooke of all people.

This is where her big problem begins: is she one of the Four Horsewomen and the latest awesome NXT talent or is she someone who lucked her way into being so popular? Charlotte, Sasha and Becky all came up and hit the ground running. Bayley came in and looked like she was in WAY over her head, despite being treated like a big deal at first. You can’t have that both ways.

Then she’s suddenly in the title hunt and gets the title shot at Royal Rumble. She loses there, only to win the rematch the next month with Sasha’s help. That was Charlotte’s first pay per view singles loss and instead of Bayley getting the focus, it was all about Charlotte losing. The fact that Banks interfered to help her is basically brushed aside, making Bayley look like she’s less important/talented than Charlotte all over again. She wins the four way at Wrestlemania, again pinning Charlotte, but the big moment was at the previous show instead of Wrestlemania. Again, that doesn’t make sense just from a logical booking perspective. Who books the big moment at the nothing show and then the far less interesting rematch at the biggest show of the year?

Then she makes the greatest mistake of her life: she’s born in a town where WWE is having a pay per view. Therefore, by definition, she must lose to Alexa Bliss. Now there’s nothing wrong with Bliss, who rocketed up the main roster far faster than I think anyone would have realistically expected. She was suddenly the loser who couldn’t get it done again, which was a complete reversal from being able to pin the previously unbeatable Charlotte twice in a row. She then basically got squashed in the Singapore cane match where she never got a comeback and never got to prove Bliss wrong.

That brings us to her latest stuff, where after weeks of being humiliated, she’s suddenly winning two or so matches in a row and getting a title shot at Summerslam because that’s all the time we have for character rebuilding. Is she over losing to Bliss? Is she upset by being humiliated like that? Eh no time to worry about that because we’ve got to get moving to the next pay per view. The fans will just get over those losses because, as WWE seems to think, wins and losses mean absolutely nothing, despite Cole and company never shutting up about them more often than not.

The general problem is rather simple: NXT is more about setting up a character and putting them on a path. They actually take their time in setting something up and want to get them to an eventual goal. WWE would rather rush everything together and put the character development (as limited as it is) in later. Aside from Wrestlemania (or any show Roman Reigns is on), it seems to be a concept of just throwing people into matches and filling in the details between the start and finish later.

The fans in NXT were given a reason to care about Bayley and exploded when she first won the title. WWE fans, who might not be familiar with Bayley, see a woman in weird looking clothes who they’re told was a big deal in NXT, get the title and then the details can be filled in. WWE seems to think that making a person a champion is character development and actually taking the time to tell their backstory and give us a reason to care about them is a big waste of time. I’m sure the fact that NXT has had many more successful new characters than WWE in recent years is just a coincidence.

There are two more big things to cover.

Let’s talk about the promos real quick. While I don’t think Bayley is nearly as bad as some people think she is, she’s not great on the mic. Imagine that: someone whose main training in talking was in short, mostly pre-taped promos that had a lot of time to edit and prepare, isn’t great at being handed a mic and told to talk for five minutes in front of a live audience. Bayley never was a great talker in NXT in the first place and now she’s expected to be good at doing something that’s much harder that she has no training in? Of course she is, because in WWE, one size fits all and everyone is expected to be able to go out and talk like they’re Austin, Rock or Flair.

As for her looks, this is a tricky area. First and foremost, she’s mainly worked with Alexa Bliss over the last few months. Almost anyone in wrestling history is going to pale in comparison next to Bliss, who is one of the best looking sexiest women the business has ever seen. Other than that it’s usually Charlotte, who looks like she was carved out of stone or Sasha, who has a lot more charisma than Bayley in the first place. Bayley was never meant to be the hot woman in the Trish mold. She’s the one there for the younger girls to gravitate towards: the nerd who was comfortable in her own skin. She’s not supposed to be the plastic Nikki Bella or the blonde bombshell like Lana. She’s the more average woman that girls can look up to, which doesn’t do much for men who tend to think that if you’re not Trish Stratus, you’re just not good enough. Bayley is a very good looking woman but she’s not supposed to be sexy. For some reason, this is a problem for a lot of fans and it’s rather unfair.

Overall, Bayley is another victim of the same problem so many NXT callups have: despite having far more time and far more writers, the main roster sees very little incentive to actually build up a character with some solid roots. Instead they would rather throw them in the middle of the lake and see who can swim. It’s a lack of time and effort that could lead to greater results, but they need to spend more time coming up with great “natural” sounding quips for Cole to read off a paper or ways to force the Roman Reigns peg into the top star hole. People like Bayley, who don’t have the family pedigree or natural talents to get them to a certain standard, are in trouble because WWE seems to think that if you’re not the greatest thing in the world immediately, you’re not worth the effort. It’s a complete shame, but unfortunately it’s how WWE thinks anymore. Bayley has the talent, but in the system she’s in, it’s not likely to get much of a chance to be shown properly.