Impact Wrestling – July 27, 2017: The Jeff Jarrett Special
Impact Wrestling Date: July 27, 2017 Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
The battle between LAX and Alberto El Patron continues as the group wants El Patron to join him but he’d rather not, leading to a series of fights. As usual though, the problem is finding a member of the team to fight him as there’s no one anywhere near Alberto’s level on the team. Therefore, they’ll likely need to add someone new to their ranks. Let’s get to it.
Joseph Park and Grado arrived earlier and it’s time to propose to Laurel Van Ness so Grado can stay in the country. Park has special gear for him to wear when he pops the question.
Long recap of LAX vs. Alberto and his family, including various kidnappings of Alberto’s brother and father.
Opening sequence.
The Mayor of Orlando is guest ring announcer for the night.
Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards/Naomichi Marufuchi/Moose
Eddie and Eli start things off with Drake trying to silence the crowd. Edwards grabs him by the arm and hands it off to Marufuchi for some more of the same. Drake comes in and gets chopped for his efforts, followed by Adonis coming in to complete the trio. Marufuchi works on Adonis as well, including a double chop with help from Edwards (WE GET IT ALREADY).
The heels are sent outside but Adonis breaks up the Shot of Caffeine and we take a break. Back with Edwards still in trouble and Adonis coming in to kick him in the ribs. The beating continues so the announcers talk about Alberto facing LAX in a gauntlet match tonight. Adonis grabs a chinlock for a good while and Carter comes in to give up the hot tag to Moose.
Some running splashes in the corner have Carter in trouble until Drake and Adonis cut him off with some clubberin in the opposite corner. Marufuchi comes in and fires off kicks to the head, leaving Drake to eat a Pop Up Powerbomb from Moose. Carter sneaks in from behind though and kicks Moose low, setting up a lifting sitout Pedigree for the pin at 16:07.
Rating: C-. Just a boring six man here though at least the ending sets up Moose vs. Carter a bit more. Marufuchi is still just kind of there with little more explanation other than “he’s from Japan and he’s awesome”. Well yeah, but I’m not getting much proof of that when all he’s doing is coming in for about thirty seconds, chopping and kicking, and then getting back out. Moose vs. Carter should be fine especially if it gets Carter the title but there wasn’t much to see here.
A rather large guy named Richard Justice is warming up in case he’s needed. He’s the standby wrestler you see, which McKenzie Miller calls the stupidest thing she’s ever heard.
A brother tag team is coming. That would be the Crist Brothers.
Here’s Lashley to call out Bruce Prichard. In short, he wants a title shot and is tired of being told he has to earn them when people like Alberto come in here and get one on day one. He’d like Bruce to come out here and announce that he’s getting his title shot at Destination X. Cue Bruce with Tyrus to say….not much as Matt Sydal walks past him and gets inside. He pushes Lashley and says he won’t be ignored but Lashley shoves him down. That earns Lashley a knee to the face and a quick shooting star press.
See, this is what they’ve needed to do with the X Division for a long time. There’s no need to throw them into a nothing division off to the side and then use them as cannon fodder. Having them mix with the heavyweights and showing that they can hang makes the division look a lot better, which is whats been missing from this place for years. If they go somewhere with that, well done. Otherwise, it’s a nice thought but nothing more.
Davey Richards and Taiji Ishimori are ready for their Super X Cup match.
Super X Cup First Round: Davey Richards vs. Taiji Ishimori
They fight over a lockup to start with Davey patting him on the chest before trading wristlocks. Ishimori dropkicks him to the floor and teases a 619. Back in and Davey fires off the kicks, followed by a figure four neck lock to send Ishimori over to the ropes. The Indian deathlock goes on but Ishimori makes the rope again. Ishimori hits the running knees in the corner, followed by a Vader Bomb double stomp for two.
They hit the mat for a battle of rollups until Davey rolls him into an ankle lock. That goes nowhere either but Davey catches him in the hold again. Davey plants him down and goes up top, cancels the howl, but misses the double stomp. Ishimori grabs a tombstone but throws Davey up for a pair of knees to the chest instead. A 450 puts Davey away at 8:26.
Rating: C+. Much like Marufuchi, all I know about about Ishimori is whatever we’re told about him during his entrances. Now this match helped a lot more than Marufuchi as we got to see Ishimori work a match that didn’t have the stupid round system or five other people. It helped, though I still need to see a lot more of them and have a reason to care about them for this to really be worth much.
Here are the semifinals:
Dezmond Xavier
Drago
ACH
Ishimori
Prichard makes Lashley vs. Sydal for Destination X with the winner getting whatever title match they want.
Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Sienna
Rosemary is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. Sienna, with KM in her corner, gets jumped to start and Rosemary unloads on her to take over. A table is brought in quickly but Sienna drops Rosemary and takes a stroll on the floor. Another table is set up on the outside, followed by the champ throwing in a pair of chairs. We get the required duel with both of them being knocked out of the respective hands.
They fight into the crowd with Sienna’s face being raked over the barricade. Rosemary grabs a headscissors and bends backwards over the barricade into kind of a reverse Tarantula. Sienna taps to no effect and we take a break. Back with Rosemary still in control but having to block what looked to be a powerbomb off the apron. The block doesn’t last though and it’s an AK47 off the apron and down to the floor (basically a release powerbomb in this case) for an eight count.
Back in and the Silencer is blocked by the swing of a chair to put Sienna down for nine. A Red Wedding onto the chair knocks Sienna down but Rosemary can’t follow up. Sienna is up at nine but down at ten so Rosemary puts her in front of the chair in the corner. Rosemary puts a trashcan in front of her for a Van Terminator, only to have KM offer a distraction. That means mist to the face but Sienna shoves her off the top and through the table on the floor to retain at 15:39.
Rating: B-. Good brawl, though nothing we haven’t seen before. Rosemary is rather skilled and Sienna is rather…..well she’s rather boring actually but she’s competent in the ring. KM on the other hand is one of the least interesting guys I’ve seen in a long time and having him around doesn’t add anything to any match he’s involved with. It’s a good match but, save for the reverse Tarantula, this wasn’t anything of note.
We look at the end of the six man.
Carter dubs the sitout Pedigree as the ECD: Ethan Carter’s Driver. Moose vs. Carter for the title next week.
Alberto says LAX is lead by a crazy man.
Here’s Trevor Lee to say he’s a fighting champion, meaning he’s got another handpicked challenger. He’s the king of Mexico….and it’s Octagoncito.
Trevor Lee vs. Octagoncito
Lee wrestles with the stolen title on and runs Octagoncito over to start. He misses a charge into the corner though and gets headscissored down, followed by a very long spinning version to put Trevor on the floor. That’s enough for Lee as he takes the countout at 1:40.
Sonjay Dutt runs in after the match but gets stopped by security. Cue Bruce for another unnecessary cameo to send him to the back.
LAX is ready to destroy Alberto once and for all.
Here are Park and Grado, the latter of whom is in a rather form fitting orange suit, to propose to Laurel. Sienna has to force Laurel down the aisle before leaving. Grado calls Laurel knockout gorgeous and proposes but here are a very excited Allie and a less excited Braxton Sutter to pull her to the back. Before there’s an answer though, Kongo Kong interrupts with a shaking head. Grado bails and Kong picks Laurel up but she tells him to put her down. She never actually said no.
LAX vs. Alberto El Patron
Gauntlet match and non-title. Alberto comes through the crowd and it’s going to be Homicide starting for the team. A top rope splash ends Homicide in nineteen seconds and it’s Ortiz coming in second. We’re off to an early break and it’s back to Ortiz in trouble as well but LAX crotches Alberto on top. Not that it matters as Alberto shoves him Ortiz down and hits the double stomp for the pin at 6:30 total.
Santana is in last and hits a running boot in the corner for two. Alberto gets tripped from the floor but avoids a top rope double stomp. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Santana again but Alberto has to go after the other members. Diamante’s high crossbody is caught and Alberto throws her out onto Homicide. Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker but Ortiz comes in for the DQ at 8:53 total.
Rating: D. So to recap, Alberto just cleaned out all of the wrestling members of LAX in less than nine minutes while also dealing with Diamante and Konnan. And these guys are the top heels in the promotion at the moment and we’re supposed to buy one of them, in theory at least, as a threat to the title? Really? Horrible idea here and a bad way to close the show.
Post match the beatdown is on with Alberto’s brother taking a beating as well. The Veterans of War run in and help Alberto clean house to end the show. In other words, Alberto, who just fended off five people at once on his own, now has his father, his brother, and two big power guys backing him up?
Overall Rating: D+. That main event storyline is just killing everything else on the rest of the show. Everyone in LAX is coming off like a jobber (the Tag Team Champions remember) and that story is dominating the show. There’s some good stuff on here and that’s keeping the show going but they are DYING for a top heel to oppose Alberto (who is far from a great character in the first place). In other words, a Jeff Jarrett run company still doesn’t seem capable of writing TV that is anything more than just average at best.
Results
Eli Drake/Ethan Carter III/Chris Adonis b. Moose/Naomichi Marufuchi/Eddie Edwards – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Moose
Taiji Ishimori b. Davey Richards – 450
Sienna b. Rosemary when Rosemary couldn’t answer the ten count
Octagoncito b. Trevor Lee via countout
Alberto El Patron b. LAX via DQ when Ortiz interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Ring of Honor TV – July 26, 2017: Happy Humphrey Would Be Proud
Ring of Honor Date: July 19, 2017 Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Rico De La Vega
It’s back to the title picture tonight as Kushida is defending the TV Title against Jay White in what could be a good match, assuming Punishment Martinez doesn’t interfere. There’s also a six way match because where in the world would we be without throwing a bunch of people into a match with no particular rhyme or reason? Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
De La Vega is from Future of Honor and Women of Honor and sounds like an Armando Alejandro Estrada knockoff.
The Young Bucks and Adam Page are in the ring to start. They want the Six Man Tag Team Titles you can consider the title match booked. That’s enough from them though as they bring out Marty Scurll for the opener.
Marty Scurll vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Josh Woods vs. Vinny Marseglia vs. Will Ferrara vs. El Terrible
One fall to a finish with tagging required, though lucha rules apply. We do the fast paced tagging with no action to start until it’s Ferrara vs. Kazarian to really get us going. Kazarian grabs a hiptoss to start but Woods tags himself in to face Ferrara. Will’s thrust to the neck has no effect so he tags in Marseglia instead.
Terrible comes in to chop it out with Vinny and the rather gutty Terrible gets sent into the corner where he no sells a forearm to the jaw. Scurll breaks up a cover off a DDT and it’s Kazarian vs. Terrible. A hard clothesline drops Kazarian and we take a break. Back with Marseglia and Ferrara in the ring as everything breaks down around them. Woods sends Ferrara outside and hits a slow motion running knee to the jaw.
Cue Shane Taylor to beat Woods up, leaving us to hit the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by Marseglia’s Swanton on Ferrara. Scrull tries the chickenwing but gets chased off, leaving Kazarian to hit a Backstabber and Unprettier on Terrible. Scurll runs in to throw Kazarian out though and pins Terrible at 11:07.
Rating: C. I really don’t care for this kind of match as there’s too much going on and nothing really gets advanced. Scurll breaking up pins and then stealing the fall was a good way to push him, though I could have gone for this meaning something (maybe a title shot or a spot in a #1 contenders match). It was a way to fill eleven minutes but nothing with much value.
Christopher Daniels agrees to face Cody for the ROH World Title in two weeks but wants it to be 2/3 falls.
Beer City Bruiser vs. Brian Milonas
Milonas is a rather large tub of goo from the Top Prospect Tournament where he didn’t do much for me. They do the big collision of the stomachs to start and Milonas actually hits a fall away slam. Silas Young offers a distraction though and Bruiser sends him outside for the Cannonball from the apron. Back in and Bruiser hits a running shot to the face, followed by a boot the same general area for two. Milonas catches him on the top with a superplex but misses the middle rope legdrop. Bruiser kicks him in the face again and hits the frog splash for the pin at 4:59.
Rating: D-. See, they’re both big and overweight so it’s interesting. Ring of Honor is a company that is supposed to be the next generation of wrestling or whatever but this was straight out of Vince McMahon’s playbook in the 1980s, if not far before in the days of people like the McGuire Twins or Happy Humphrey. Milonas is embarrassingly huge and made Bruiser look good by comparison.
Post match Young says it’s going to be a long time before Jay Lethal is back.
TV Title: Kushida vs. Jay White
Kushida is defending and this has potential as I like both guys. Feeling out process to start with White taking him down by the arm. De La Vega is getting even more irritating as he starts telling Ian to shut up in Spanish, just like almost every other evil Hispanic wrestling character ever. Back up and Kushida hiptosses him down for the basement dropkick to take over. White trips the champ up though and we take a break.
Back with White slamming him out of the corner for two and we hit the chinlock. A Muta Lock with White pulling on the arm for extra leverage sends Kushida bailing to the ropes. Kushida sends him outside for a dive though and it’s time to get fired up. White grabs the rolling single underhook suplexes to cut him off, including a third into the corner. Another suplex is countered into the Hoverboard Lock with a bodyscissors, only to have White power out.
A Flatliner and dead lift German suplex give White two but Kushida is right back with another Hoverboard Lock. White gets to the ropes and we take a second break. Back with White elbowing the heck out of White’s head and grabbing a cobra clutch on the mat. That doesn’t do much for White so he tries the Kiwi Crusher but Kushida reverses into a small package for two.
A kick to the head drops White again and we get a breather. White is up first and hits the Kiwi Crusher but the bad arm means a bad cover so Kushida can kick out. Back up and White slugs away to put both guys down again. Kushida catches him on top and grabs the Hoverboard Lock up there. That’s not enough as he superplexes White down and hits Back to the Future to retain at 14:40.
Rating: B. That’s what I was expecting with the arm work playing into the match and the finish. Kushida is pretty easily my favorite New Japan guy and he works some of their best matches every single night. White was no slouch here either as he wrestled his usual good match, which has a simple style but does everything it needs to do.
Post match they shake hands as #1 contender Kenny King (Then why did White get the shot here?) comes out to stare Kushida down and end the show.
Next week: Women of Honor! Uh…great.
Overall Rating: C+. Good show this week and we have something special to look forward to in two weeks. The main event is solid and makes Kushida, as well as the title, look more important, though hopefully we get the talented King instead of the one who feels like the Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin. I liked the show more than usual and, save for the bad yet short middle match, it’s worth checking out.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
205 Live – July 25, 2017: I Knew Clowns Were a Bad Idea
205 Live Date: July 25, 2017 Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves
Tonight is more about the midcard as we have a “big” tag match between TJP/Tony Nese and Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann to advance the Swann vs. TJP feud. Other than that Ariya Daivari is facing Neville for reasons that I really don’t understand. If Daivari is the best they can do for an upper midcard heel going after the heel champion, they’re in bigger trouble than it seemed. Let’s get to it.
Neville is really not pleased with Daivari messing with people above his level. That was a critical error by thinking that Neville’s kingdom was open to a hostile takeover. Daivari did well last night but tonight he’s learning the difference between an injured animal like Akira Tozawa and the King of the Cruiserweights.
Opening sequence.
Ariya Daivari vs. Neville
Non-title with Akira Tozawa on commentary. Daivari dedicates this to another Iranian Olympian and promises to hurt Tozawa later. Ariya heads straight to the floor to start and then does it again as there’s no contact in the first minute. They do the same thing a third time until Neville goes after him, only to be sent into the barricade and LED ring skirt. The frog splash gets two back inside as Neville hasn’t had any actual offense yet.
The hammerlock lariat is broken up though and there’s a superkick to put Neville in control. A missile dropkick puts Daivari on the floor where Neville whips him into various things. Neville stops to yell at Tozawa so Daivari sends them into each other. Neville can’t beat the count and gets counted out at 4:36.
Rating: D+. I was liking the match more than I was expecting to until we got to the lame ending. That ending doesn’t make Daivari look like anything special but keeps him around Neville due to getting a win. Daivari did look better than he does otherwise but he’s really not interesting enough to warrant this spot.
Neville and Tozawa are about to go at it but the referees break it up for the sake of Tozawa’s shoulder.
We look back at Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak’s 2/3 falls match last week.
Here’s Brian Kendrick for a chat. He’s tried to help us over and over but all he gets are attacks, both physically and on social media. Why can no one see the difference between fighters like him and clowns like Jack Gallagher? Kendrick puts Gallagher’s picture on the screen and talks about various features such as Gallagher’s hair or eyes…..which are replaced by clown features instead. Gallagher finally comes out to chase Kendrick off. This was really, really stupid.
Swann and Alexander are in the back with Cedric talking about how he’s glad that the crazy ex-girlfriend is gone. Nese and TJP come up to brag about how awesome they’ll be with Nese saying Alexander is a consolation prize. A brawl is cut off by TJP’s music starting up.
TJP/Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann
Swann is now in long tights instead of trunks and starts with Nese. Actually hang on a second as Tony drops to a knee and poses, saying everyone can appreciate that for a second. They exchange leapfrogs until Swann flips over Nese and scores with a dropkick. Cedric comes in and spins Nese around by the arm before handing it right back to Swann. A double dropkick to the back gets two and it’s off to TJP. That means a little dabbing, followed by a PLEASE STOP DABBING chant.
Cedric ankle scissors him into a dropkick and the villains are sent outside. You know two good faces aren’t going to let that go, meaning it’s a running flip dive from Cedric and a Phoenix splash dive from Swann. Back in and Cedric works on an armbar, which for some reason warrants a weak CM Punk chant. A Nese distraction lets TJP run Cedric over though, mainly because good guys aren’t that bright at times.
Nese ties him into the Tree of Woe and drops to his back for some situps and kicks to the ribs. Tony isn’t pleased with getting small packaged for two so he hammers away with quite the aggression. Back to TJP for a foot to the face and more dabbing. A chinlock sets up the spinning springboard forearm (no nipup though) for two. Alexander fights out of a double arm crank and takes TJP down, setting up the hot tag to Swann. Not that you would know it was hot as the fans barely react but take what you can get.
Swann and Nese strike it out until Rich jumps over a legsweep and kicks him in the head. It’s already back to Alexander for a quick running C4 as everything breaks down. Nese throws Swann onto the announcers’ table, leaving Alexander to hit his handspring enziguri for two more. Nese breaks up the springboard forearm though and TJP steals the pin at 12:21.
Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to as they were given time to set things up and go on to the ending. I could have gone for a few more minutes, which isn’t something that I often get to say around here. Swann vs. TJP is a solid feud and the blowoff match should be good, especially if TJP goes full heel on the way there.
Overall Rating: C+. That Gallagher/Kendrick segment aside, this was a rather solid effort from the smaller guys, though some of the talent involved still drags down what would be an otherwise better show. Daivari doesn’t do much for me and Kendrick’s stuff was just stupid. Other than that though, good show this week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Summerslam 1992 Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
This is probably the most famous of all the Summerslams even to this day as we’re not only outside but for the first and only time ever, a regular PPV is being held in England. It’s another double main event tonight with Savage vs. Warrior for Savage’s world title, along with Davey Boy Smith challenging Bret for the Intercontinental Title. This show was originally going to be held in Washington D.C. with Shawn winning the title from Bret in the first ladder match but the change was made very close to the date of the show. Let’s get to it.
Also note that this is on a two day tape delay, which you would NEVER see for a PPV today.
For reasons I’m not quite clear on, nearly every version of this show you can find online has the dark matches included, so you’re getting some bonus stuff tonight.
We open with kids arguing over whether Warrior or Savage sold out to Perfect and Flair. Another kid says British Bulldog is going to win whether he likes it or not.
Heenan puts on a crown and declares himself Sir Bobby, King of England.
Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers
The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.
Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.
The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.
Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.
Dark Match: Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango
Shango used to scare me to death. Tito is El Matador so he has the awesome gold jacket. Papa jumps him from behind to take over and hits a splash in the corner to have the bullfighter in trouble. Tito comes back with some clotheslines and a dropkick to send Shango out to the floor. They head back inside where Tito gets two each off a middle rope clothesline and a cross body before hooking a sleeper.
Shango sends him into the buckle to escape as Heenan makes bull jokes about Tito. The voodoo guy keeps up the generic power offense by headbutting Santana down and walking around the ring. Santana avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his comeback but the flying forearm only gets two. Shango pops up and hits a shoulder breaker for the pin.
Rating: D. Shango was all character and no substance in the ring. This is a good example of what most dark matches are like: short, dull and nothing that I’ll remember in about five minutes. Santana was good in this kind of role as he makes everyone look good, although there was only so much he could do with a guy like Shango. Who knew the answer was to make the voodoo guy a pimp?
Dark Match: Tatanka vs. Berzerker
This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.
A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.
Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.
Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom
This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.
Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.
Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.
Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.
Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).
Ric Flair, in ring gear despite not being in action tonight, is happy to be in London. Gene asks him whose dressing room Mr. Perfect is in. “He’s in the dressing room of the winner of course. WOO!” Touche.
Virgil is ready for Nailz tonight.
Virgil vs. Nailz
There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.
Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.
Nailz lays Virgil out with the nightstick post match.
Alfred Hayes can’t find Mr. Perfect, nor can he get into Macho Man’s dressing room.
We recap Shawn vs. Rick Martel. Shawn cost Martel an IC Title shot, so Martel started hitting on Shawn’s manager Sherri. Sherri then started coming out to support Martel, setting up the showdown tonight. However since Sherri thought both guys were handsome, she made the rule that there was to be no hitting in the face.
Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel
This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.
Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.
Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.
Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.
They fight up the aisle until suits break them up. Shawn carries Sherri out but Martel knocks him down, dropping Sherri to the floor in the process. Martel picks her up and carries her a few feet but Shawn decks Martel, knocking Sherri to the floor yet again. Martel finally runs out with a bucket of water to wake Sherri up.
The Nasty Boys talk about the world title match for some reason. They ask Jimmy about a title shot but Jimmy Hart, also the manager of Money Inc. is notably anxious, which is hinting at his face turn.
Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers
The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.
Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.
Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!
Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.
Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.
Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.
The Bushwhackers speculate on whose corner Perfect will be in. Gene Okerlund makes some very bad British jokes.
Hayes can’t get into the Warrior’s dressing room either. He tries to barge in and calls Warrior rude for locking the door. Even HEENAN points this out to him.
Repo Man vs. Crush
Repo tries to jump Crush but has no effect and earns himself a gorilla press slam. We head to the floor for a clothesline from Crush before heading back inside for some kicks to Repo’s ribs. Crush pounds on the ribs even more and hits a backbreaker, only to be poked in the eye to break the momentum. Repo hits a belly to back suplex but Crush no sells it and snaps off a belly to belly. A top rope knee drop misses and Repo goes after the knee with some very basic stuff. An elbow drop gets two and Crush easily fights up, catches Repo coming off the top in a powerslam and hooks the Head Vice for the submission.
Rating: D. This was a glorified squash to make Crush look good. They were this close to making Crush the next big thing in 1993 so seeing him look good here isn’t surprising at all. Repo Man is really impressive as he went from Smash to the new gimmick so smoothly that I didn’t realize it was the same guy until years later.
We recap the world title match which is summed up in one question: who sold out? This was THE story of the summer as everyone was wondering if Savage would sell out to be able to beat the man that ended his career a year earlier or if Warrior sold out to guarantee his second WWF Title. Why both guys would want a manager who wasn’t even managing the world champion is anyone’s guess. Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is great stuff.
WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior
There’s no sign of Perfect or Flair with Warrior. Warrior is also in a singlet here instead of in his usual trunks. There’s no one with Savage either though, meaning we have to wait even longer to find out who sold out. Savage offers a handshake to start but Warrior accuses him of selling out and won’t shake. Scratch that as he does shake but they pull each other together and it’s on.
It’s a feeling out process to start with Savage shoving him away and hitting a knee to the ribs. A clothesline to the back of Warrior’s head puts him down as the fans are booing. Savage goes up top but Warrior punches him in the ribs to break up a double ax handle. A pair of atomic drops puts Randy down and some shoulder blocks do the same. Savage pounds away and hooks a chinlock, only for Warrior to break it up with a jawbreaker.
A bit right hand staggers the champion in the corner and Warrior stomps away for good measure. Warrior hits a clothesline but Savage ducks away, sending Warrior chest first into the buckle. The champion clotheslines him out to the floor for a bit before hitting the top rope ax handle back inside. It has no effect at all though as Warrior starts marching around the ring. Savage elbows him in the face to put him back down though and goes up again, only to dive into a backbreaker for two.
Warrior whips the champion hard into a corner a few times before putting on a bearhug. Instead of hanging onto it though he lets Savage go almost immediately and gets a two count. Another backbreaker gets two but Savage comes back with a small package for two of his own. A neckbreaker puts the challenger down but a delayed cover only gets two for Randy. Warrior comes back with a hard clothesline and starts pounding away on Savage’s weak back.
A suplex puts Savage down for a close two as the fans are getting into these near falls. Warrior charges at Savage but falls out to the floor by mistake. Randy goes up and drops yet another double ax onto Warrior’s back before sending him into the steps for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Savage but Warrior slams him down. Here are Flair and Perfect to ringside as Warrior’s splash hits knees.
Savage and Warrior clothesline each other down which gets two each for both guys. Randy is up first but Perfect trips him down, signaling that Warrior is the sellout. Back up and Warrior punches him down before choking Savage into the corner. Warrior throws Savage into the corner again but the referee is bumped in the process. A slam puts Savage down and Warrior goes up top for a right hand to the head, although there’s no referee.
The referee finally comes over to count the two and Warrior is visibly frustrated. Back up and Savage hits a knee to send Warrior into the referee again before hitting a piledriver on the Ultimate one. There’s no referee again though so Savage goes to check on him. As Randy is out on the floor, Flair and Perfect take out Warrior behind Savage’s back. Randy drops the big elbow but the referee isn’t there in time for a count. Flair and Perfect are huddling on the floor.
Warrior starts his comeback with Savage pounding away on his back but to no effect. He runs over Savage with clotheslines and the flying shoulder block before loading up the gorilla press. Savage is in big trouble but as Warrior sets up the splash, Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Note that Savage didn’t see what Flair did.
Savage doesn’t know what to do now but he realizes Flair and Perfect did something. The champion goes up top but he isn’t sure. Instead of dropping the elbow though he dives at Flair, but gets knocked out of the air by a chair shot, injuring Savage’s knee in the process. Savage is counted out but retains the title.
Rating: B+. This was another really good match between the two and a great rematch from their first classic a year and a half earlier at Wrestlemania 7. The idea of having someone turn was a great incentive to watch the show, and having neither guy do the turn was the right move. The ending of the match is important soon after this.
Post match Flair puts Savage in the Figure Four with Perfect adding in more shots to the leg. Warrior finally saves Savage with a chair and helps him to his feet.
The official attendance is announced.
Undertaker vs. Kamala
Kamala was Undertaker’s Monster of the Month at this point and is managed by Harvey Whippelman. Undertaker rides to the ring on the back of a hearse to kill even more time. Taker fires off uppercuts to start and chokes away in the corner before avoiding a charging Ugandan. Harvey breaks up Old School but Kamala can’t hurt Taker at all. He clotheslines the dead man to the floor but Taker no sells everything Kamala throws at him. Back inside and Taker easily chokeslams him down and hits the Tombstone but Kamala’s other manager Kim Chee comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here as it was setting up the coffin match at Survivor Series. This was during the bad period for Undertaker as he fought a bunch of monsters with no particular rhyme or reason. Kamala was nothing special and spent most of his career trying to be intimidating but getting destroyed every time.
Post match Kim Chee helps Kamala lay Undertaker out and the big man hits a top rope splash to Undertaker, but the Dead Man pops up a few seconds later.
Tatanka vs. Berzerker happened here.
British Bulldog talks about fighting hard for two years to reach this point. Yes Bret is the Champion and his brother in law but when they get in the ring together, Bret is a stranger to him. He hopes the families reunite after the match but he’ll be the champion.
Bret says that Davey might not know him but he can look Bret in the eye and see the man that got Smith his start in the company. This is a total heel promo from Bret, which is the right move given where they are tonight. Tonight, Smith’s dream becomes a nightmare.
Here are some Highlanders playing the bagpipes. Their featured performer: Roddy Piper of course.
Diana Hart-Smith, Bret’s sister and Davey’s wife, will be neutral tonight. She just wants them to get along after the match.
Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith
Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.
Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.
An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.
The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.
They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.
Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.
Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.
Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole rating. The thing to remember is this show is less than three hours (not counting dark matches which I don’t count towards the show’s rating) and nearly an hour of that is spent on two great matches. The rest of the bad stuff is pretty short and the two main events more than make up for it. This is easily the best Summerslam so far and one of the best ever. Check this out if you’ve somehow never seen it.
Ratings Comparison
Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys
Original: B
Redo: C+
Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana
Original: D+
Redo: D
Tatanka vs. Berzerker
Original: C
Redo: D
Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Nailz vs. Virgil
Original: C
Redo: F
Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel
Original: B
Redo: D+
Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters
Original: D+
Redo: D
Repo Man vs. Crush
Original: C+
Redo: D
Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage
Original: A
Redo: B+
Kamala vs. Undertaker
Original: C
Redo: D
British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart
Original: A+
Redo: A+
Overall Rating
Original: A+
Redo: B+
I was WAY too nice to this show the first time. It’s great but it’s not THAT great.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
NXT Date: July 26, 2017 Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
With less than a month to go before Takeover: Brooklyn III, it’s time to start getting things ready for the biggest show of the year. We already have the NXT Title match set as Drew McIntyre will challenge Bobby Roode for the title but we need a bit more than that to fill out a card. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Ember Moon vs. Lei’D Tapa
Oh come on didn’t I have to watch enough of Tapa in TNA? Tapa runs her over with a clothesline to start but Moon shrugs it off. Moon loads herself up for a superplex but spins around into a regular suplex of her own (Bad News Barrett used to use that move). The Eclipse puts Tapa away at 1:22.
Ember wants Asuka and promises to give her some real competition.
Aleister Black video.
David Ramos/Timothy Bumpers vs. Authors of Pain
Non-title but hang on a second as Nikki Cross blocks the Authors’ path. Cue Sanity in the ring to beat up the jobbers as the Authors and Paul Ellering look on. The Authors hit the ring and the fight is on (Mauro: “LIKE DONKEY KONG!”) with the champs cleaning house without too much effort. No match of course.
The Street Profits are coming.
We look at Cezar Bononi shocking Andrade Cien Almas. Last week, Almas attacked Bononi again at the behest of the now named Zolita Vega.
Earlier today, Vega threatened No Way Jose with Almas’ wrath.
Velveteen Dream vs. Cezar Bononi
Dream pounds him down without much effort but gets kicked in the jaw and punched in the face. A Falcon Arrow gives Bononi two, only to have Dream come back with a Death Valley Bomb (a Death Valley Driver landing on the back instead of the head). The top rope elbow (Purple Rainmaker) for the pin at 1:39.
Post match Dream calls the NXT audience ugly and says their experience will have to wait.
General Manager William Regal officially makes Moon vs. Asuka for the title in Brooklyn.
Here’s McIntyre to talk about his upcoming title match. There are four weeks until Brooklyn and that’s not a lot of time. Drew doesn’t have a backwards button because he only goes forward. When he was in WWE before, he was the Chosen One and expected to have everything handed to him. That’s why he failed though. Once he was gone from WWE, it became clear to him that he had to be the hardest worker in the world. Now McIntyre looks at Roode and sees nothing but entitlement. This isn’t Roode’s NXT because it belongs to all of the people here. He wants everyone to stand up with him because WE ARE NXT.
Raul Mendoza is ready to face Johnny Gargano next week. Maybe we’ll be talking about his rise instead of Gargano’s return.
Kassius Ohno vs. Hideo Itami
Ohno takes him down by the arm to start and they hit the mat for some grappling. Itami shrugs off a chop so Ohno hammers away even more, including a basement dropkick to the head. Ohno flips onto the apron but gets kicked in the chest, followed by a middle rope Fameasser. Back from a break with Itami dropping a knee for two and kicking him in the back with a sneer.
A chinlock set up a few more kicks to the chest and it’s right back to the chinlockery. Itami dives into a chop though and Ohno runs through a kick, setting up a Shining Wizard. The cyclone boot and a backsplash give Ohno two but Itami is right back with a suplex. The GTS doesn’t work so Ohno kicks him in the jaw, only to have Itami kick him low for the DQ at 11:44.
Rating: C+. They beat the heck out of each other here and I dig the ending with Itami taking the cheater’s way out and attacking Ohno when he thought he couldn’t beat him. That’s a great way to push his heel turn and makes him look like a changed man instead of someone willing to fight with honor. Ohno continues to be a fine upper midcard face who isn’t going anywhere in the long term and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Itami unloads on him with kicks post match and adds a trio of GTS’s with the third landing on the steps.
Overall Rating: C+. This was kind of an odd show as they had some big stuff announced but a lot of the show was spent on stuff that didn’t seem to make the biggest difference. It wasn’t bad by any means though and I’m kind of glad they didn’t push things when they didn’t need to be pushed. NXT has found the right balance of focus and not overdoing things and that’s very helpful as we head towards Brooklyn. Two matches are official and I think you can figure out most of what else is coming without too much effort. Not bad with about a month to go.
Results
Ember Moon b. Lei’D Tapa – Eclipse
Velveteen Dream b. Cezar Bononi – Purple Rainmaker
Kassius Ohno b. Hideo Itami via DQ when Itami kicked him low
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2003 (2017 Redo): You Can Still Smell the Greatness
Monday Night Raw Date: February 24, 2003 Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada Attendance: 10,000 Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the night after No Way Out and that means it’s time to start things shifting towards Wrestlemania. HHH defeated Scott Steiner last night to end their feud (thank goodness) and now he needs a new challenge for the titles. Other than that we have Steve Austin back tonight and it should be interesting to see how he holds up as a full time guy instead of someone just back for a stand alone appearance. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s a very banged up Eric Bischoff to say he’s still standing even after Austin beat him up last night. As for tonight though, Austin is banned from the building, meaning he’ll miss tonight’s 20 man battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. Austin will be dealt with next week though when Bischoff has a special welcoming committee waiting on him. Even though Austin isn’t here tonight, Bischoff has a special surprise: THE ROCK! It must be Wrestlemania season if they’re ignoring the exclusive roster statuses like that.
Rock isn’t pleased with the mixed reaction and says that he’s FINALLY come back “Toron…..Toron…..to run his mouth all over” these people. Rock advises us to not boo until you hear what he has to say. Last night he did Vince a favor by taking care of Hogan, in return for being able to go wherever he wanted. Rock wanted to go to Raw in Toronto, Canada. The fans cheer of course so Rock rips them apart for cheering over something so stupid. Rock: “YAY! HE SAID TORONTO! THAT’S WHERE WE LIVE! SHUT UP!”
He wanted to come to Toronto because it’s where the people turned on the People’s Champion. Last year at Wrestlemania, 68,000 of you mother Canuckers booed the Rock out of the building. That strikes up a Hogan chant so Rock has to slowly explain that this isn’t Smackdown. Rock wasn’t about to forget last year, if that’s what these people think. Then again, it doesn’t matter what they think.
Then at the Raw Tenth Anniversary, they gave the Superstar of the Decade Award to Steve Austin. There’s only one Superstar of the Decade and hes “stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada cause the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK!” The fans get in whatever insults they can and Rock is just basking in the hatred.
He’s even going to enter the battle royal tonight and go on to Wrestlemania. Rock loads up IF YA SMELL but cuts them off in a rather deep voice. Rock: “YOU CAN’T SING ALONG WITH THE ROCK! NO! NO! NO MORE!” The Rock and the Rock alone gets to say IS COOKIN to wrap up one of the most amazing heel performances you’ll ever see.
This was nothing short of outstanding with Rock completely destroying the entire arena in the span of ten minutes. He took some of the simplest ideas that makes a face promo work and turned them around on the fans with the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK clearly cutting them deeply. Rock came into this with complete confidence and sold every word of it to the point where he was suddenly the biggest heel in years. Watch this if you haven’t seen it and take notes.
Jazz vs. Jacqueline
Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. They slug it out to start and head outside with Jackie taking over as Lawler is confused by Jackie’s chest tattoo. Back in and Jazz gets two off some clotheslines and loads up a powerbomb. I’m not completely sure what happens next though as I think Jazz tried to drop her backwards and face first onto the mat but Jackie might have tried to reverse into a sunset flip, leaving her to just drop off to the side in what looked like a botch. Jazz takes her down by the leg and puts on the half crab into the STF for the tap.
Post match the lights go out and Trish makes her return to beat Jazz up. She was gone in the first place? Victoria tries to interfere and gets kicked in the face.
We see Test arriving at a Girls Gone Wild shoot. For some reason JR didn’t know what GGW was despite the Girls Gone Wild boss showing up on Smackdown. Test goes to a club to pick the finalists for Miss Girls Gone Wild and shows off that awesome charisma (or he might just be really drunk).
Test and Maven are watching the clip with Test saying it makes up for all the stupid stuff Stacy has done. Apparently she didn’t know what GGW was and isn’t happy about it. Cue Stacy to accuse him of doing a few things he shouldn’t have been doing. Chief Morely comes in and makes Test/Stacy vs. Chris Jericho/Christian.
We recap Goldust being electrocuted.
JR sits down with Goldust for his first comments. Goldust talks about Booker T. having his back…..while randomly shouting and making noise because he now has Tourette’s Syndrome. I’m assuming someone finds this funny and I’m not sure I want to see anything else they perceive as humor.
Kane vs. Lance Storm
Storm jumps on Kane’s back for a choke and is quickly clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and a big boot sets up an elbow drop for no cover as this is one sided for Kane so far. Kane charges into a boot in the corner and eats a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Back to back chokeslams end Storm in a hurry.
Randy Orton’s shoulder is healthy (99% at least) and he’s back in the ring tonight.
Randy Orton/Batista vs. Booker T./Scott Steiner
Booker chops at Orton and forearms him down, only to have Flair trip Booker up to take over. Steiner chases Flair away but Batista comes in to work over Booker. Flair holds Booker in the corner so Orton can hammer away, only to have Booker fire off the kicks to get a breather. A Flair distraction lets some double teaming bring Booker back into the corner though and we hit the bearhug.
Orton grabs a chinlock, only to have Booker fight up and hit the ax kick (Not the Spinarooni JR. That’s bad even for him.). More double teaming keeps Booker in trouble so Steiner finally comes in without a tag and cleans house. Flair gets caught in the Recliner but Batista makes the save and spears Booker down. Orton adds the high crossbody but Booker rolls through for the pin.
Rating: D. Not a very good match but the really telling part here is the fact that Steiner never actually tagged in. The night before he was wrestling on pay per view for a World Title and he couldn’t even get into a tag match here. You can tell they’ve completely pulled the plug on him and I’m actually surprised they even let him stand on the apron instead of swapping in ANYONE else, or just making this a singles match.
We recap Rock entering the battle royal. As in we show a fifteen second clip of it.
Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test
Stacy is in a cutoff Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts so the sympathy is really turned up. Test leaves her on the ramp (Why not leave her in a hotel somewhere?) and charges in but Stacy gets on the apron anyway. Jericho pulls her down to send her face first into the apron and the double teaming begins. Chris grabs a chair and blasts Test for the DQ in less than 80 seconds.
With Test down, Jericho handcuffs him to the ropes and puts Stacy in the Walls. Jeff Hardy tries to make a save but gets beaten down, leaving Shawn Michaels to make the real save. Christian really didn’t need to be there at all, save for making the odds a bit stronger. The silence for most of the beatdown segment was rather telling to put it mildly.
Post break Jeff is still in the ring when Christopher Nowinski comes out to call him a failure. Those are wrestling words.
Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowinski
Jeff hits him and drops the Swanton for the pin at 13 seconds. Actually hang on as Jeff beats on Nowinski post match, drawing a reversal of decision.
Van Dam and Kane are ready for the battle royal but don’t agree on who should win after they get rid of Rock.
Speaking of Rock, he’s in a somewhat cramped dressing room and tells someone on the phone that Austin can come see him next week. Rock gets off the phone and grabs his guitar but cue Hurricane of all people. Hurricane chastises him for ripping on the people and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rock wants to know who he is but realizes that it’s the Hamburgler.
He’s not impressed though because any superhero could beat Hurricane, even Aquaman. Rock: “Yeah the dude that talks to the fish.” Hurricane knows he could beat the Scorpion King though. ROck: “OH NO YOU…..!” Hurricane asks if Rock can fly and promises to make him fly over the top rope tonight. He leaves but Rock insists that losing to Brendan Fraser was just a special effect. Good stuff here as Rock clearly has no issue working with people way beneath him, which so many people can’t say.
Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely
No DQ so just get the interference ready now. Morely hammers away to start as JR points out how much experience Lawler has. Lawler gets in a clothesline and knocks Morely outside as the YOU SCREWED BRET chants start up. Back in and Morely grabs a spinebuster to set up the Money Shot for no cover. Instead he goes for a chair but Hebner kicks it out of the ring for no apparent reason. Cue the Dudleys for a 3D and Lawler drops the middle rope fist for the pin.
Rating: D-. This is the second match of the night that made it to five minutes and they certainly didn’t make use of the time. I have no idea what the point is in having the announcers fighting Bischoff’s lackey but it’s getting really annoying in a hurry. Lawler can work a brawl just fine but couldn’t this be used for ANYONE else who could use a rub? Lawler is a legend and won’t be wrestling full time so who does this really help?
Evolution is ready for the battle royal and Orton wants Booker T.
Battle Royal
Chris Jericho, Al Snow, Booker T., Batista, Christian, Jamal, Rosey, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam Rodney Mack, Scott Steiner, Steven Richards, Test, Hurricane, Tommy Dreamer, The Rock
Winner gets HHH at Wrestlemania. Jericho and Christian bail to the floor as Test gets in. A bunch of people go after Rock to star, leaving Jericho to dump Test. Geez bad night for him. Test goes back in and Jericho eliminates himself to run into the crowd. Van Dam kicks Jamal out and Rock gets rid of Dreamer and Maven.
Richards is out next as the crowd is rather silent. Again. Evolution gets rid of Van Dam, followed by Snow and Mack being eliminated. Hurricane slugs away at Rock but gets kicked low for his efforts. That’s enough to get rid of Hurricane but Booker throws Rock through the ropes to the floor. They brawl on the outside (neither are eliminated) until Rock goes up and joins commentary.
Rock talks about JR’s barbecue sauce as a production guy pokes his head out from underneath the stage in a funny visual. Orton backdrops Hardy out but Steiner gets rid of Randy. Batista gets rid of Steiner and Booker gets rid of Batista, leaving us with Booker, Christian, Kane, Rosey, Rock and Storm. Rosey and Storm of all people team up to beat on Kane as Rock mocks JR’s hat.
Kane gets rid of Rosey and shrugs off some of Storm’s horrible right hands. They’re bad enough that Kane throws him out and Booker takes a chokeslam. Now Rock heads back to the ring and gets rid of Kane and Christian. Booker chops away but gets caught in a DDT. Rock loads him up but Booker reverses and throws Rock out for the completely clean win and the title shot.
Rating: D. Just a bad battle royal here though the ending was a good call. Booker is the kind of guy who could get a major rub out of a win here and an even bigger one out of the Wrestlemania match. Eliminating Rock like he did was a perfect way to wrap things up as well, making this a good ending to a bad match.
Overall Rating: D. Let me make this clear to start: everything good about this show has to do with the Rock and everything bad has to do with almost everyone else. Rock is the ONLY good thing going on here and the lack of Austin was really bad. HHH wasn’t there either but at least he was beaten up last night (kind of) to explain the absence.
The problem here was so much of the show being built around bad matches that didn’t have any time to go anywhere. How much can you do when four matches aren’t even three minutes long? You can tell they’re getting ready for the Wrestlemania season and that means some improvements but sweet goodness there’s some horrible stuff that they need to drop for the sake of stuff that could actually benefit from the extra attention.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Summerslam Count-Up – 1991: The Hart of the Company
Summerslam 1991 Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon
This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.
We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”
We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.
Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory
Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.
Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.
Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.
Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.
Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!
Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart
Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”
Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.
Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.
Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.
Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.
Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.
Bret celebrates with his parents.
The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.
Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers
Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.
Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.
Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.
Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.
Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.
Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.
Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil
This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.
Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.
The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.
Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.
The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.
Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.
Mountie vs. Big Boss Man
Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.
Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.
Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.
Mountie is dragged away by cops.
DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.
Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.
The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.
Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.
Savage is nervous for the wedding.
Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.
Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.
Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.
Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.
The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”
Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.
Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.
Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.
Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom
The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.
Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.
The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.
I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine
Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.
The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.
Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.
Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.
Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan
Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.
Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.
Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.
Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?
Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.
Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.
Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.
We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.
The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.
With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.
First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.
Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.
Ratings Comparison
British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory
Original: D
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: A+
Redo: A
Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers
Original: C-
Redo: D-
Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: B
Redo: D+
Big Bossman vs. The Mountie
Original: D
Redo: D+
Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys
Original: D
Redo: D
Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine
Original: D+
Redo: D
Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – July 25, 2017: This Week Sweet, Next Week Huh
Smackdown Date: July 25, 2017 Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re past Battleground and that means we’re off to the biggest party of the summer. Jinder Mahal is still the Smackdown World Champion and there’s a chance that Great Khali will be in his corner for at least a little while. Tonight we’ll likely find out who is next up for Mahal now that Randy Orton is out of the way. Let’s get to it.
Here’s the new US Champion Kevin Owens in the ring to open the show. Owens brags about winning the title back and says he can now go back to defending it with the pride that it deserves. Therefore, tonight it’s the return of the Kevin Owens United States Title Open Challenge, starting next week.
Cue AJ Styles to say he wants his rematch for the US Title tonight……and it’s CHRIS JERICHO interrupting! Jericho declares his return and shouts quiet over and over at Owens. Jericho: “And one more time: QUIET!” He’s sick of hearing Owens yacking and wants his rematch for the US Title tonight.
AJ says not so fast but Jericho cuts him off, saying someone cut in front of him at the supermarket the other day. Jericho: “Do you know what I did to him?” AJ: “You put him on the List.” Jericho: “No I punched him in the face and put him in the Walls of Jericho in aisle seven in front of the corn.” As for AJ though, HE JUST MADE THE LIST! Owens goes to leave but Shane McMahon cuts him off to make the triple threat match for the title tonight.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin
Rematch from Sunday. Nakamura knocks him to the floor to start but gets BLASTED with a clothesline as we go to an early break. Back with Nakamura making a comeback off some strikes, only to miss Kinshasa. A big kick to the head is countered with a chokebreaker, followed by some hard knees to the ribs. Deep Six gets two but End of Days is broken up. Corbin tries the same low blow, only to eat back to back Kinshasas for the pin at 9:28.
Rating: C. So what was the point in the low blow on Sunday? If they’re just going to have Nakamura pin him clean two days later, I have no idea why they didn’t just do this on Sunday. Neither guy really gets anything from the back to back matches and the clean pin would suggest that the feud is over (in a normal promotion that is). That’s a rather odd booking choice.
Naomi is ready to defend her Women’s Title at Summerslam but Natalya interrupts her. Natalya brags about how awesome she is but Naomi talks about how Natalya needs to get out of the dungeon of the past and gets ready to feel the glow.
Becky Lynch/Charlotte vs. Tamina/Lana
Lana’s gear now has more material on it, likely for the sake of staying PG. Tamina powers Becky around to start and pulls her off the middle rope for a big crash to start. It’s off to Lana for a chinlock before pulling Becky down to the mat by the hair. We get the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants before it’s off to Tamina, who allows the hot tag to Charlotte. A knee to the back of the head gets two on Tamina but a superkick staggers Charlotte. Lana tags herself in and eats a big boot for the pin at 4:24. Becky seems to have hurt her knee and needs help getting out of the ring.
Rating: D. You know, WWE has this whole developmental system for training wrestlers. I hear it’s actually pretty good and readily available for their usage. Why Lana is stuck here, when she’s clearly not ready for this level, is beyond me. Why not just send her down to NXT for six months or so and let her actually train instead of learning on the job? My guess is that might be accepting that WWE’s decisions aren’t completely brilliant and we can’t have that. No instead the solution is to let her drown on live TV (when she’s not losing in less than a minute that is). Nice job WWE, as always.
Tamina looks frustrated with Lana and leaves on her own.
Video on the Punjabi Prison match.
Here’s Jinder Mahal to brag about what he did on Sunday. The modern day Maharajah retained the title on Sunday and he’ll be defending it at Summerslam. Therefore, he needs an opponent. Cue John Cena to interrupt but Mahal cuts him off. Mahal thinks Cena is going to call him out as unworthy but Cena has other ideas.
He respects how much Mahal cares about the title and wants to put him on notice: Mahal is facing Super Cena (his words) at Summerslam and it’s going to be title #17. Cena leaves after a very short exchange but here’s Daniel Bryan to cut him off. As great as Cena is he doesn’t get to make the matches around here. Therefore it’s going to be Nakamura vs. Cena next week with the winner getting the title shot at Summerslam.
I really, REALLY hope they’re kidding and don’t do that match for real next week. That match should be headlining Summerslam, not the match that sets up a title match at Summerslam. One more thing: two years ago, imagine being told that you would see John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura in a #1 contenders match on free TV to face Smackdown World Champion Jinder Mahal at Summerslam. Wrestling is a funny place sometime.
Owens is livid at Shane but the triple threat is still on.
Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English/Mike Kanellis
We take a break less than forty five seconds in and come back with Sami in the wrong corner. Kanellis comes in and kicks Sami in the face for two. English comes back in and eats some forearms, only to miss a charge and wind up on the floor. The hot tag brings in Tye to clean house as everything breaks down. Tye sends Kanellis into the corner and Sami tags himself back in, allowing the Helluva Kick to put Mike away at 6:12. Not enough aired to rate but this was just a step above a squash.
Here’s New Day for their celebration but the Usos jump them from behind and leave them laying.
Nakamura says Cena won’t be able to see him next week, but he’ll see Jinder at Summerslam.
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is defending and gets double teamed right at the bell, sending him outside in the process. The challengers trade near falls but Owens comes back in to deck AJ, setting up the showdown with Jericho. Now it’s Jericho being sent outside so the champ can beat on AJ with some crossface shots to the jaw getting two. The Calf Crusher goes on but Jericho breaks it up with a Lionsault for two on AJ as we take a break.
Back with Jericho sending Owens to the floor with a hurricanrana but getting dropped down for the springboard 450. Owens makes the save and steals a two count, only to have Jericho get up and catapult him into AJ. The Walls have Owens in trouble but Jericho releases it to hit a Codebreaker on AJ for two.
Owens is back up for Cannonballs to both but AJ hits the running forearm, only to get caught by AJ’s forearm. Jericho enziguris AJ, who immediately Peles him to put all three down. Owens knocks AJ to the floor and grabs the Pop Up Powerbomb for a VERY close two on Jericho. A frog splash gives Owens two on Jericho with AJ making the save and stealing the pin and the title at 14:08.
Rating: B+. Heck of a match here which also seems to answer a question about the ending on Sunday. There were rumors that it was a botched ending and if they’re changing the title back that fast, there’s a good chance that they’re correct. Having Jericho take the fall is fine as it sets up Styles vs. Owens for the title one more time, likely at Summerslam.
Owens is livid and demands his rematch for the title next week to end the show. So much for Summerslam.
Overall Rating: B. It was an entertaining show but it also felt like they were trying to pack a little too much into one night. That being said, next week is looking quite stacked with Cena vs. Nakamura (Again, why?) and the US Title match, plus whatever else they can throw together for the show. It certainly was fast paced tonight though and that’s one of the most important things they can do.
Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Baron Corbin – Kinshasa
Becky Lynch/Charlotte b. Lana/Tamina – Big boot to Lana
Sami Zayn/Tye Dillinger b. Aiden English and Mike Kanellis – Helluva Kick to Kanellis
AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho – Frog splash to Jericho
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – July 24, 2017: Like Father, Like….Kind Of?
Monday Night Raw Date: July 24, 2017 Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C. Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, Corey Graves
We’ve got less than a month to go before Summerslam and that means we need to start filling up the card. General Manager Kurt Angle has promised to settle the #1 contendership issue tonight but we also need to find out more about his new son Jason Jordan. There are three matches announced in advance for tonight so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show where Braun Strowman broke up the #1 contenders match between Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe.
Here’s Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle talks about the weight being lifted off his shoulders since he’s announced Jason Jordan as his son (Quick sidebar: why would having an illegitimate son from nearly thirty years ago cost him his family? Are Angle’s wife and family so nuts that they can’t accept him dating in college?).
As for the #1 contendership, Brock Lesnar will be defending against…..someone we’ll find out later as Braun Strowman interrupts to say he better be getting the title shot. Cue Samoa Joe to say he wants another shot at Lesnar because he knows he can finish him. Strowman and Reigns can finish each other but he better get his title shot. Roman comes out to say Joe and Strowman haven’t done anything to earn a shot and lists off all of his accomplishments.
Angle changes his mind again and makes the four way for Summerslam. Joe isn’t happy but the brawl breaks out anyway with Joe and Reigns hammering away on Strowman. That lasts all of thirty seconds before they start fighting each other. Strowman gets back up and beats on Reigns before dominating Angle’s security. Joe gets the choke on Strowman until the locker room comes out for another failed save attempt. Reigns spears Strowman down but he pops right back up and sends Joe and Reigns outside.
Elias Samson vs. Finn Balor
No DQ due to Samson hitting Balor with a guitar last week. Balor breaks up the pre-match song and sends him outside early on. Back from a break with Balor still in control until a shot to the banged up shoulder puts him in trouble. Samson grabs a chair but it’s Balor kicking him away and scoring with the basement dropkick. Samson’s armbar is broken without much effort and Balor hammers away in the corner.
Finn grabs the chair but Samson takes it away and hits him in the back with it as we take our second break in less than ten minutes. Back again with Balor getting kicked out to the floor and a shoulder breaker giving Samson two. Samson makes the mistake of loading a chair in the corner, meaning his head bounces off of it a few seconds later. Balor catches him in the ring skirt and hammers away ala fellow Irishman Fit Finlay.
A very fired up Finn stomps him down to the floor again and there’s the running kick to the face. Some chair shots have Samson beaten down even more and it’s the shotgun dropkick into the Coup de Grace….but here’s Bray Wyatt. Sister Abigail plants Balor and Samson gets the pin at 17:56.
Rating: B-. Longer than it needed to be but this did a good job of setting up the likely Summerslam match. Balor gets to keep looking strong and Samson gets the biggest win of his career, completely by the rules as well. I’m not sure what they’re planning with Samson but I haven’t seen many newcomers protected like him in a good while.
Bray spider walks over to Finn and says Follow the Buzzards.
We look back at Angle’s announcement last week.
Angle is excited to watch Jordan’s first singles match. Emma of all people comes up to say she wants some TV time. Maybe she can just start dating Jason. Angle gives her Nia Jax tonight.
Enzo Amore’s plan to deal with Big Cass tonight: not have a plan.
Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass
Before the match, Enzo says he has a tank full of heart and the people in this arena are the key. This is a race and he can’t wait to run into Cass like a finish line. Shouldn’t that be run OVER Cass like a finish line? Enzo kicks at the leg to start but a dropkick is swatted away. A sleeper is quickly broken up and Cass kicks him in the ribs. Enzo tries to fight back with some rights and lefts, earning himself some hard rams into the corner. One heck of a running bit boot ends Amore at 3:37.
Rating: D+. That’s exactly what the match needed to be but they don’t need to do it again. Amore isn’t in Cass’ league physically and there’s no point in having him beaten down like this for a third time. Just put him on 205 Live already or have someone stand up to Cass (as in Big Show) already because we’ve covered this thoroughly.
Post match Cass stays on him until Big Show makes the save, only to get kicked in the head. Cass drops a bunch of Empire Elbows and leaves Show down in the corner.
Alexa Bliss can’t wait to see Sasha Banks and Bayley (“Team Gag Reflex”) explode. She knows one of them is going to go too far to win and avoid watching Summerslam on the WWE Network. No matter what happens, she’ll be the real winner tonight.
Emma vs. Nia Jax
Emma goes after her like you go after a monster, only to get shoved down and splashed in the corner. A running flip backsplash puts Emma away at 1:24. I’d bet money this was punishment for Emma’s complaints last week.
Akira Tozawa is ready to fight Ariya Daivari when Titus O’Neil comes up to say the match is canceled due to the bad shoulder. Tozawa is livid and says he’s going to the ring anyway, without Titus.
Post break Tozawa is in the ring and wants Daivari out here (Unfair as Daivari was told he wouldn’t have a match. He might be off at a Bingo tournament.) but gets Neville instead. Neville takes credit for the bad shoulder and calls Tozawa pathetic. Tozawa hits him in the face with the good arm and kicks Neville down to set up the top rope backsplash. Cue Daivari (Bingo must have closed up early) to beat up both guys.
Bayley and Sasha are ready but don’t agree on who will win.
We recap the opening segment.
Jason Jordan is ready for his match with Curt Hawkins and wants to make his father proud. It’s like a dream come true.
Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins are about to talk strategy but Ambrose says he doesn’t trust Seth, which doesn’t sit well.
Bayley vs. Sasha Banks
The winner gets Bliss, who sits in on commentary, at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start with Bayley grabbing a rollup but getting smacked in the face. Bayley gets in a kick and the charge in the corner, only to get knocked off the top as we take a break. Back with Bayley fighting out of a double arm crank and getting two off a facebuster. The Backstabber into the Bank Statement has Bayley in trouble until she flips over into a rollup for two.
They slap it out with Banks getting the better of it, only to miss the top rope knees. Bayley knees her in the head but gets caught with a Shining Wizard to put both of them down. A fired up Bayley gets more aggressive than she’s been in a long time and slugs away, only to have a superplex broken up. Sasha hits a frog splash but Bayley reverses the cover into a rollup for the pin and the title shot at 13:14.
Rating: B-. Good match here as Bayley continues her short road to redemption. Having Bayley win the title on the big stage could be interesting but it’s more likely that Banks turns on her to cost Bayley her chance. At least they’re building up the card in a hurry though as this is the second match announced in about two hours.
Bliss comes to the ring for the staredown.
Video on a Special Olympian.
Curt Hawkins vs. Jason Jordan
Hawkins punches him in the face before the match and gets suplexes down for his efforts. Some crossface shots and a belly to back get two as Angle is watching on. There’s the belly to belly and the shoulder in the corner, followed by a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to put Hawkins away at 1:44. Jordan looked fired up (as he always did) but a bit sloppy. Better than I was expecting though.
The Revival comes to the ring for an interview with Dawson telling Charly Caruso to get out because they’ve got this. They’re the best tag team in the world right now because they chased New Day off to Smackdown, took out the Hardys and scared Enzo and Cass so much that they split up too. Cue Anderson and Gallows to say they’re the good brothers and this is a good brothers town. They did everything that the Revival did before the Revival, including being bald.
Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows
Anderson gets taken into the Revival corner to start for some double teaming, only to have Anderson and Gallows double team the Revival to the floor like some good brothers would. We take a break and come back with Anderson having to punch Dawson in the face as he tries for a hot tag. Gallows comes in and starts cleaning house with a big boot and a splash for no cover on Scott. The Boot of Doom is loaded up but here are the Hardys to interrupt. Revival is thrown to the floor but the distraction just lets them come back in for a Shatter Machine and the pin on Anderson at 9:45.
Rating: D+. I’m not sure if this was a face turn for Anderson and Gallows but they could certainly use one, much like the division as a whole. The match was a bit of a mess but that’s all you can expect when you have a short match with interference taking up a good chunk of the thing. Still though, it’s promising.
The Hardys lay out Revival but they escape before a Swanton can hit.
Miz gives the Miztourage a pep talk. He’s successful in Hollywood because he’s an original instead of all those rebooted franchises. You know, like the Shield.
Next week: Jason Jordan on MizTV and Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman.
Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage
Ambrose hammers on Axel to start and runs him over for some right hands and elbows to the head. Rollins comes in for a knee drop as we see Sheamus and Cesaro watching. That….could be interesting actually. Miz comes in and eats a Sling Blade, followed by the Miztourage being cleared out as we take a break. Back with Rollins in trouble as Miz cuts off a hot tag attempt.
Miz gets two off a neckbreaker and it’s off to Axel for a dropkick (Axel: “HOW GOOD WAS THAT???”). Rollins fights off Dallas but it’s still not enough as Miz grabs a DDT for two more. We hit the YES Kicks with Corey singing Miz’s praises because he can. The good old double clothesline puts both Rollins and Miz down, followed by a quick roll over to Ambrose for the hot tag.
House is quickly cleaned, including a rebound lariat on Dallas. The top rope elbow is good for two as everything breaks down. Axel escapes Dirty Deeds and it’s the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Ambrose. Stereo suicide dives put the Miztourage down though and it’s Dirty Deeds to put Miz away at 17:47.
Rating: B-. They got along well enough but I can’t imagine they’ll put the Shield back together for real anytime soon. The match wasn’t great or anything though it’s not like this was supposed to be a classic of any kind. I liked the match and they did a good enough job of keeping the crowd going. I’m not sure where this is going at the end but it’s got enough of my attention.
Post match Seth puts out the fist for the Shield pose but Ambrose leaves him hanging to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show more than I was expecting to and a lot of that has to do with scheduling stuff in advance. Instead of having to spend so many segments setting up matches, we could get straight to the promos before the matches and then the matches themselves. It’s how wrestling has worked for the better part of ever and I have no idea why WWE felt the need to mess with it. At least Summerslam’s build is looking strong and that’s a very good sign.
Results
Elias Samson b. Finn Balor – Sister Abigail from Bray Wyatt
Big Cass b. Enzo Amore – Big boot
Nia Jax b. Emma – Running flip backsplash
Bayley b. Sasha Banks – Rollup
Jason Jordan b. Curt Hawkins – Belly to back neckbreaker
Revival b. Anderson and Gallows – Shatter Machine to Anderson
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