New Column: Double Angles
It’s not like there’s anything else to talk about.
NXT – July 19, 2017: I’m Getting the Itch
NXT
Date: July 19, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
It’s all about the NXT Title tonight as Drew McIntyre faces Killian Dane for the title shot at Takeover: Brooklyn. Bobby Roode suggested the match for the shot at his title, which would suggest than shenanigans are afoot. Other than that we’re getting ready for the rest of the show, which is just a month away. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Ember Moon vs. Ruby Riot
The fans sound split here. Mauro asks Percy to give us the keys to victory for both of them. As you might expect, Watson has no idea and just says they both want to win. Thankfully Nigel is there to say it’s all about the Eclipse as they trade some early rollups. Riot monkey flips her but Moon lands on her feet but takes her down again and grabs a chinlock. Ember reverses into a bow and arrow for a bit (which Percy manages to identify as a hold working on the back) but Riot is right back up to hit Ember in the face. A Flatliner drops Riot for two and we take a break.
Back with Riot hitting a top rope backsplash for two but getting sent hard into the corner to change control again. Riot catches her on top with a hurricanrana though and the fans are WAY into this one. Ember goes with a roaring elbow and a modified backbreaker, setting up the Eclipse to put Riot away at 11:35.
Rating: B. This match felt important instead of just another match. As has been the case, they continued to build up the Eclipse as the biggest move in NXT and probably the one move that can finish Asuka no matter what she throws at Ember. Riot definitely has a following too and she’ll get her chance once things shift at the top of the division.
Earlier today Kassius Ohno was giving an interview when Hideo Itami came in to ask about their match next week, which Ohno requested. No violence ensues.
The Street Profits are coming.
Oney Lorcan vs. Danny Burch
Feeling out process to start with both guys getting an early two, only to have Burch punch him in the face to take over. Burch hits a dropkick and head kick in the corner, followed by the Tower of London (a hanging Diamond Cutter, Nigel’s old finisher) for two. Lorcan gets in a shot to the face of his own and it’s time to exchange some hard uppercuts. Danny turns him inside out with a clothesline and a rather sloppy powerbomb gets two. Back up and Danny misses a dive out of the corner and Lorcan rolls him into a half crab for the tap at 4:38.
Rating: C+. They were hitting the heck out of each other here and I like the idea that they have this kind of match on NXT from time to time. There isn’t much of a story here but they hit each other really hard and offer entertaining enough matches to warrant time on the shows. Sometimes that’s better than doing the same stuff over and over every week. Good little match here.
Danny shakes his hand post match and asks for one more match. Oney is game.
No Way Jose vs. Cezar Bononi
The fans sing about Jose and he scores with an early armdrag. Bononi takes him into the corner and gets in a good looking dropkick before throwing Jose around. That goes nowhere though as Jose gets in a clothesline and some dancing, followed by the pop up uppercut for the pin at 2:09.
Post match Andrade Cien Almas comes in to go after Bononi (who upset him a few weeks back) but Jose chases him off.
Drew McIntyre vs. Killian Dain
The winner gets the title shot against Roode at Takeover: Brooklyn. It’s odd to see Drew fighting someone bigger than he already is, which shows how small a lot of the NXT roster really is. Dain can’t intimidate him to start and gets taken down by a top rope shot to the head. Killian is right back with a basement crossbody to send Drew outside though and we take a break.
Back with Drew still in trouble and getting tossed hard into the corner. Dain stomps on the chest and drops a running elbow for two. Some hard crossface shots to the jaw have Drew in trouble. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Dain hammers away in the corner, only to get caught in a running powerbomb to give Drew a near fall of his own.
White Noise gets two more, only to have Dain hit a quick Wasteland into a backsplash into a Vader Bomb (collectively named the Belfast Blitz). The Ulster Plantation is broken up and the referee tells them they have two minutes left. Dain takes him up again and grabs a fisherman’s superplex for a delayed two but walks into Future Shock for one. Drew’s shocked face is great and it’s even worse when the Claymore (running boot to the face) isn’t even enough for a cover. A second Claymore sends Drew to Brooklyn at 13:35.
Rating: B-. Well you can’t say they didn’t have Dain looking strong with that ending. This was another good, hard hitting brawl with two big guys beating the heck out of each other until Dain couldn’t get up anymore. Drew winning is the right call and I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t win the title in Brooklyn as he’s looking like one of the most polished performers in the promotion at the moment.
Drew says he’s coming for the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. The goal here was to set up a title match at Takeover and they nailed that as well as they could have. The show also had two very solid matches and a good brawl between Burch and Lorcan as a bonus. This was a very entertaining fifty one minutes of wrestling and I’m starting to get the itch for a Takeover, which has potential to be a very impressive show. Really good outing this week.
Results
Ember Moon b. Ruby Riot – Eclipse
Oney Lorcan b. Danny Burch – Half crab
No Way Jose b. Cezar Bononi – Pop up uppercut
Drew McIntyre b. Killian Dain – Claymore
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Smackdown – July 18, 2017: Love in the Time of a Dead Horse
Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2017
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Battleground and Jinder Mahal has brought the Punjabi Prison with him to Smackdown. My guess would be to get people interested in what the match is going to look like if they haven’t been around for more than ten years, which is about as good of an idea as they could have for this. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video on the Punjabi Prison, even though it doesn’t have a ton of history.
Here’s Mahal to enter the Punjabi Prison, which is still fairly ridiculous looking. Mahal promises to bring Orton inside here and destroy his legacy. Oh come on that stable was destroyed years ago. The Singh Brothers explain the rules: there’s a regular cage (made of bamboo that is) with four trap doors. A wrestler can ask to open the door for sixty seconds but once it closes, it can’t be opened again. Then there’s another bamboo cage around the ring which has to be climbed over. The first person out of both structures wins.
Mahal speaks some Punjab but here’s Orton to interrupt. Orton talks about how crazy Mahal is to want to lock himself inside a cage with him and starts to climb the cage. He stops though and just promises to destroy Mahal to wrap things up without going in to fight all three at once.
Kofi Kingston vs. Jimmy Uso
Kofi starts fast and takes Jimmy down before annoying him with some dancing. A good looking flip dive to the floor drops Jimmy again and we take a break. Back with Kofi making a comeback with chops and kicks, only to have Trouble in Paradise countered into a Death Valley Driver into the corner for a close two. Kofi shoves him off the top but has to yell at Jey, allowing Jimmy to roll through a high crossbody for the pin at 8:38.
Rating: C-. The clip in the middle hurt this a lot as we went from one person in trouble and flipped it around during the commercial. Kofi losing is interesting and could suggest the Usos losing the titles on Sunday. New Day doesn’t need them but they’re instantly going to make the titles more interesting than the Usos have.
The women’s division wants to beat Lana up but Tamina cuts them off. Natalya suggests Becky vs. Charlotte, the latter of whom says that wouldn’t be competitive. Shane McMahon makes the match.
We recap last night’s announcement that Jason Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son. I don’t mind it as much as some people do but they need to walk a very thin line on this one.
Chad Gable sits down with Renee Young for an interview and still looks stunned. He didn’t have any heads up on this but Jordan did call him to talk about things later. Gable has some ideas for his future but he’s keeping them to himself for now.
Mike Kanellis vs. Sami Zayn
This is Mike’s in-ring debut. Sami hammers away to start and sends Mike outside for a running clothesline. Mike is sent into the barricade as this is one sided so far. The exploder looks to set up the Helluva Kick but Maria comes in for the distraction. Mike blasts him in the face and hits a Samoan driver for the pin at 2:59.
Here’s John Cena to talk about the flag match with both the American and Bulgarian flags hanging over the corners. Cena runs down Sunday’s card before moving on to the flag match, where you have to get your flag from a pole and plant it at the finish line. He promises we’re going to remember the flag match more than anything else.
Cena gets all fired up and promises that he’s ready because the USA is a nation of fighters. He lists off some important moments in American history, including the Civil War, World War II and 9/11 before waving the flag. Cue Rusev to beat Cena down and knock him out with the Accolade before waving the Bulgarian flag. This was WAY too serious and way too well done of a promo to waste it on a flag match against Rusev.
Shinsuke Nakamura comes up to AJ Styles but doesn’t want to talk strategy for tonight’s main event. Instead he’d rather point at the US Title and say one day, he’s answering the Open Challenge. I’d really hope that’s at a major pay per view.
Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte
Natalya is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte powering her down and grabbing a headlock. Becky comes back with a one footed dropkick but Charlotte backflips away twice. The threat of the Disarm-Her sends Charlotte outside and we take an early break.
Back with Becky throwing her back inside but Charlotte forearms her down to take over. A knee to the back of the head gets two on Becky, who escapes the Figure Four. Becky springboards into a forearm to Charlotte’s chest and there’s the Bexploder. The Disarm-Her is countered with a big boot for two but the moonsault misses, allowing the Disarm-Her to make Charlotte tap at 9:00.
Rating: C+. It’s very clear that these two are miles ahead of the rest of the division but worry not because there’s always the chance that Nikki Bella can come back and show them how to work. Becky winning is a good idea as she hasn’t had a big win in a long time and a clean win over Charlotte is quite the accomplishment.
Post match Lana and Tamina come out to clean house. Tamina stares at Lana for a bit (Who can blame her?).
WWE Network shill.
Naomi is ready to face anyone but Carmella comes up with the briefcase and says she’ll see Naomi on Sunday.
It’s time for the Fashion X-Files with Breeze as Skully, complete with a red wig. Breeze doesn’t buy the idea of the paranormal but there’s a ghostly moaning. Never mind though as it’s just Aiden English warming up. A white light comes down from the ceiling with Breeze saying he wants to meet Alf, Max Moon and Chewbacca. It turns out to be a delivery guy who turned the lights on so they could sign for a package. Breeze won’t answer what’s in the box because it’s Tully’s (Fandango’s stick horse) head. There’s a note saying Battleground, where things will be concluded.
Shinsuke Nakamura/AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin
Corbin jumps Nakamura in the aisle and Owens joins in until AJ FINALLY comes up to help. We hit the break before a bell and are joined in progress with AJ in trouble thanks to a hard forearm from Corbin. AJ gets over for the hot tag to Nakamura, who immediately goes to Good Vibrations on Owens.
Corbin low bridges Nakamura to the floor though and Owens stomps away in the corner to take over. Baron grabs a bearhug for a bit before sliding under the bottom rope, only to have Nakamura waiting on him for a change. The double knockdown isn’t enough for the hot tag to AJ as Corbin is up first (makes sense for a change) to knocks Styles off the apron. Nakamura comes back with the rapid strikes, including a kick to Owens before he can interfere.
Deep Six gives Corbin two but the enziguri is enough to make the hot tag off to Styles. More rapid strikes have Owens in trouble but he takes AJ’s head off with a clothesline. Corbin comes in and is caught in a fast Calf Crusher, sending him scurrying to the ropes. Nakamura is sent into the timekeeper’s area, leaving AJ to have to escape End of Days. Owens makes a blind tag though and it’s a superkick into the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 9:53.
Rating: B. They were working out there and it was a hot match as a result. All four were moving and hitting their stuff to give us a good match to wrap up the show. At least it was a tag match where Styles took the pin, though I can’t imagine them putting the title back on Owens so soon.
Overall Rating: B-. Good show this week to build up to another B level pay per view. There’s only so much you’re going to get out of this Sunday so a strong go home show is always a nice surprise. Cena vs. Rusev feels like a highly glorified warmup for Cena before whatever he’s doing at Summerslam but other than that, I’m interested in almost everything else they’re doing, at least to a degree.
Results
Jimmy Uso b. Kofi Kingston – Reversed high crossbody
Mike Kanellis b. Sami Zayn – Samoa driver
Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Disarm-Her
Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura – Pop Up Powerbomb to Styles
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw – July 17, 2017: The Wrestling Angles
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 17, 2017
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
For the first time in a good while we have a major announcement to look forward to. This week will see the reveal of whatever Kurt Angle’s big secret has been and there’s going to be someone here with him to reveal it. There are multiple rumors floating around about what it could be and it should be interesting to see which, if any, is accurate. Let’s get to it.
Long recap of the Angle situation.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Dean Ambrose with a chair to open things up. He goes off about his issues with Miz but here’s Seth Rollins to interrupt. Seth talks about everything he’s done with Miz as of late but Dean says he doesn’t want anyone’s help. Rollins’ question is if Ambrose will be in his way or by his side.
Dean talks about Rollins breaking up the Shield and how they were brothers. Seth actually apologizes for what he did, which he never did before. While it’s true that he turned on Ambrose and Roman Reigns, Seth remembers tearing into Ambrose inside the Cell. He still wants to have Dean with him but Ambrose isn’t convinced.
Seth has an idea though and turns his back on Dean, saying take as many shots with the chair as you need. Ambrose can’t do it so here are Miz and the Miztourage to interrupt. Miz laughs this off because neither of them have what it takes to do this on their own. The fight is on and the numbers get the better of Rollins and Ambrose. A series of chair shots leaves our heroes laying.
Miz and company leave in a hurry.
Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss
Non-title. Bliss slaps her in the face to start and gets driven into the corner for some aggressive stomping to send Bliss to the apron. Cue Nia Jax though and we take a break. Back with Bliss stomping away but missing a charge to send her outside. A Stunner over the ropes slows Bliss down (those Steve Austin show appearances paid off) and the top rope elbow makes things even worse. Bayley chases her to the floor but Jax cuts her off, allowing Bliss to take over. Cue Sasha to take out Jax though and it’s the Bayley to Belly to pin Bliss at 8:13.
Rating: C. I’m assuming we’re setting up Bayley vs. Banks for the #1 contenderdship or one of their beloved four ways because screw storytelling for a one on one match when you can just throw them all together. Bayley is being rebuilt but I wish they could come up with a way to do it besides pinning Bliss in back to back weeks.
Graves gets a text and bails.
Clip from the ESPY’s with a wrestling fan winning an award for courage. Stephanie also received an award at the Sports Humanitarian Awards. Guess which speech gets more time.
Video on Roman Reigns.
Angle is panicking and isn’t sure if he should do this. Graves says do it because it’s going to get out somehow anyway. That seems to convince Kurt.
We recap Akira Tozawa vs. Neville.
Titus O’Neil gives Titus Worldwide a pep talk. Ariya Daivari, who was in a match with Tozawa last week, comes in and challenges him for a rematch later tonight.
Brian Kendrick/Drew Gulak vs. Jack Gallagher/Mustafa Ali
Kendrick bails away from Gallagher to start so we’ll go with Drew instead. Jack works on the knees but Drew pops up and knocks Ali off the apron. One heck of a chop drops Gallagher for two but the headbutt puts Kendrick down. It’s off to Ali for the inverted 450 and the pin at 2:35.
Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat. He knows he lost at Great Balls of Fire but he knows you have to keep getting up if you believe in what you’re fighting for. He’s not done with Big Cass, who may be much bigger and stronger but Enzo has the heart. Cass threw him fourteen feet to the floor but Enzo got back up and kept going. They were friends for years with Enzo making sure Cass stuck with it because Cass is S-A-W-F-T like a big comfy couch.
Cue Cass to chase Enzo off because Enzo says he’s smarter than the average bear. Enzo grabs a seat in the crowd with an Enzo fan to watch this. Cue Big Show for a brawl but Cass kicks him in the face. The fight is on with Show getting the better of it via a hard chop to the chest. Cass sends him into the post twice in a row though and Show’s ribs are hurt. Kicks to the ribs make them even worse and Show is down. Enzo tries to come in and eats a big boot for his efforts. This was another well done Cass segment as I’m very glad they didn’t have Show chase him off. Let Cass look dominant and then win the match. It’s that simple.
Reigns says tonight is all that matters because he wants Lesnar at Summerslam.
Ambrose and Rollins are banged up but still want Miz and company. Angle comes in and offers them a tag match with any two of the three next week. Dean says let’s just make it all three in a handicap match so Angle agrees.
Elias Samson is ready to sing about Nashville but Finn Balor cuts him off.
Finn Balor vs. Elias Samson
Cole tells a story about Elias following NXT around Florida and eventually getting arrested for loitering, only to have Dusty Rhodes bail him out. Graves is of course livid about the story, only to have Elias slam Balor into the corner to cut them off. Balor fights up without too much effort but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Finn comes back again and takes it outside for the running dropkick into the barricade, only to have Samson BLAST him with the guitar for the DQ at 5:05.
Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match though I still wonder why Balor is stuck with Samson. Elias has been better than I was expecting but sweet goodness Balor is a former World Champion and one of the best talents on the roster. Why is he stuck in this midcard feud instead of fighting for the Intercontinental Title at worst?
Bray Wyatt pops up on screen to say Balor didn’t see that coming. Wyatt feels the need to hurt Balor and brings up the Irish mythology. Bray isn’t just a myth though and promises to bring his full powers against Finn. He’ll even enjoy it.
Video on Samoa Joe.
Angle is on the phone when Bayley and Sasha come in, both wanting to fight Bliss at Summerslam. Kurt makes a #1 contenders match between the two of them for next week.
The announcers preview Battleground.
We look back at the Revival attacking the Hardys last week.
Revival attacked the Hardys just because they’re the Hardys. No one has flipped around more than the Hardys so it’s time to use some fists on them.
Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari
The ropes are still red here. Daivari dedicates this match to an Iranian gold medalist from the 2016 Olympics. Tozawa starts fast but bangs up his shoulder to give Daivari a target. The shoulder is sent hard into the corner and Daivari talks a lot of trash, only to get caught in a hurricanrana. A Codebreaker to the arm gives Daivari two and the shoulder goes into the corner again. That’s enough for Titus who tells the referee to stop it at 2:56.
Tozawa is livid and says Titus never cared about him.
Here’s Angle for the announcement. Everyone is supporting him in this decision and he’s glad to get this off his chest. When he was in college he was dating a woman but then they broke up. Then nine months later, she had a child, which Kurt didn’t find out until recently. It turns out that the kid was a very talented athlete who had several offers to play various sports.
Instead he went to college and earned a degree, followed by pursuing a career in professional wrestling. That son is now a WWE superstar and the newest member of the Raw roster. His name is……Jason Jordan! Jason comes out and hugs Kurt several times but nothing is said.
Revival vs. Hardy Boyz
It’s a brawl to start with Revival bailing to the floor before the bell. We officially get going with Matt headlocking Dawson down, only to get pummeled by Wilder. Matt does his ten rams into each buckle and everything breaks down with the Hardys cleaning house again. They even bust out the Spin Cycle (picking up someone by the arms and legs from the mat and flipping them from their face onto their back), which Booker calls new, though it’s really just brought out of mothballs.
Back from a break with Matt in trouble and Dawson putting on a standing leglock. Wilder gets in some leg work of his own but Dawson is kicked outside, allowing the hot tag to Jeff. A quick splash gets two but Matt has to save his brother from the Shatter Machine. The Twisting Stunner gives Jeff two more, only to have Wilder crotch him to break up the Swanton. Dawson grabs a rollup and jeans for the pin at 13:21.
Rating: C+. The right team won and that’s what matters more than anything else. The Hardys don’t need to win much of anything at this point so having them put over a team like the Revival is best for everyone involved. On top of that it was a good match and that’s just scratching Revival’s surface.
Samoa Joe gives a very intense interview about being ready to beat Roman Reigns again because it gives him another shot at Brock.
Video on a Special Olympian who is in the front row.
Tozawa is in Titus’ locker room and repeats that he didn’t quit. Titus can accept Tozawa being mad at him but Tozawa needs to understand that Titus was looking out for his future. Tozawa seems to accept it but wants a match with Daivari tomorrow night on 205 Live.
Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns
Winner gets Lesnar at Summerslam. They trade shoulders to start and it’s Joe being knocked outside as we take an early break. Back with Joe hitting his enziguri in the corner and we’re off to the neck crank. That eats up a long time until Reigns fights up and hits a running clothesline for two. That’s some of Reigns’ only significant offense so far as this has been almost all Joe in the first half.
They head outside with Joe clotheslining him so hard that Reigns lands on the apron. Reigns hits a clothesline of his own to put both guys down as we take another break. Back with Joe talking trash until Reigns comes back with a Samoan drop. One heck of a boot to the face drops Joe again but he’s right back up and blocking a belly to back suplex.
The Rock Bottom is broken up and there’s the Superman Punch for two. With both guys down, cue the returning Braun Strowman to pull Joe out and beat up Reigns for the no contest (though it should be a DQ victory for Joe, who was the first one to be touched) at about 19:00.
Rating: B-. This was definitely the kind of match where they were filling in time until the storyline ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Neither guy was pinned and it was pretty even when Strowman came in. This is likely setting up what could be a very interesting four way at Summerslam and I’m ok with that.
Reigns and Joe beat on Strowman but both eventually fall victim to powerslams.
Overall Rating: C+. I dug this episode more than most weeks and that’s a good sign. The Angle announcement felt short but big while the main event felt big but long and ultimately meaningless given how things ended. I still liked the show tonight though, which isn’t something I get to say that often. If nothing else they’ve announced THREE matches for next week, which might be a modern day record. Nice show here and better than several they’ve done in recent weeks.
Results
Bayley b. Alexa Bliss – Bayley to Belly
Jack Gallagher/Mustafa Ali b. Brian Kendrick/Drew Gulak – Inverted 450 to Kendrick
Finn Balor b. Elias Samson via DQ when Samson hit him with a guitar
Ariya Daivari b. Akira Tozawa via referee stoppage
Revival b. Hardy Boyz – Rollup with a handful of jeans
Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest when Braun Strowman interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Went to the Raw House Show Last Night
I took in the Raw house show last night at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Kentucky. The featured attraction this time around was John Cena, who was making a rare house show appearance. However, this wasn’t mentioned on TV commercials until the week of the show, despite the announcement being made on WWE.com over three weeks ago. The crowd was solid enough for a Sunday house show but I have to think advertising Cena as a major attraction would have helped.
The show was scheduled to start at 7pm and actually kicked off a minute or so early. It was a fairly strong turnout with the upper deck completely tarped off but that’s standard for a place the size of Rupp Arena. It should be noted that Rupp Arena is the largest arena in the United States built for basketball with over 23,000 seats. Therefore, even a crowd that is only half full would be a solid showing elsewhere.
1. Apollo Crews/Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Curt Hawkins/Anderson and Gallows (5:50) C-.
This was exactly the opener you would have wanted with the faces being incredibly popular and everyone going nuts for Slater and Rhyno. Crews is a fine face with the athleticism and Titus makes for a solid manager who knows how to fire up a crowd. You don’t come off as professional as he does and not have some kind of use, even if it’s just a spot as a manager. The best note of this was Anderson beating Slater up and shouting that he has kids too. Rhyno hit a spinebuster on Hawkins for the pin.
2. Goldust b. R-Truth (1:18)
This was another good choice to fire the crowd up but the ending was really sudden. Truth beat the heck out of Goldust for about a minute but charged into a boot and got rolled up for the pin with feet on the ropes. After it was over, Truth promised to get back at Goldust. Nothing to see here but Truth’s song fired up the crowd.
3. Akira Tozawa b. Brian Kendrick (8:26) B-.
This might have been the match of the night, which isn’t really saying much on a show like this. Tozawa got the crowd going again (notice a pattern here) with the shouting and there was a great near fall off a kick to Kendrick’s head. Tozawa won with the top rope backsplash after escaping the Captain’s Hook. No Titus here, despite Tozawa signing with Titus Worldwide. The problem here continues to be very simple though: no one cares about the cruiserweights and there’s no real way around it.
4. Finn Balor b. Elias Samson (8:39) C.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I have no idea why Finn Balor’s isn’t World Champion like, now. The guy is an absolute star and comes off exactly as such with the fans eating up everything he does. He has a good look, his matches are solid and his entrance is outstanding. Throw in the Demon King when the time is right and he’s pure money. This was longer than it needed to be with Samson in control for the most par. Balor made the comeback you would expect him to make and finished with the Coup de Grace.
5. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins b. Miztourage (14:45) B-.
I love lackeys. They can help extend both a feud and a character so much just by having people there to fight instead of doing the same match over and over again. That was the case here as Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas said Miz was too busy for a town like Lexington and they were representing him instead. Axel got in a great line: “I’m not saying Kentucky sucks. I’m saying LEXINGTON, Kentucky sucks.”
The place went coconuts for Rollins when he was the surprise (Kind of?) partner for Ambrose. I still think he could easily be the next Jeff Hardy and the reaction he received here only reinforce that theory. This was a longer match than you would expect and went about as you would have guessed. The Miztourage are fine heels and can go in the ring, making me all the sadder that Axel was wasted for so many years. Ambrose won with Dirty Deeds to Dallas in an energetic match.
Intermission. Two kids got to play the What Happens Next game and thankfully they didn’t go with the Vince dying clip. After the kids got it right, they received a program, a WWE Top Ten book, the Best of the 2000s DVD, a shirt, every autographed poster for sale, and probably something else that I’m forgetting. Not bad at all for a single night.
6. Mickie James/Dana Brooke b. Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax (6:55) D+.
And then the crowd died when they realized Bayley and Sasha Banks weren’t here. I’m a bigger Brooke fan than most but sweet goodness people did not care about these two against the top heels. The match wasn’t even very good either with the lone highlight (aside from Alexa of course) being Bliss not being able to whip Jax into the corner for a splash and just giving up. Mickie kicked Bliss in the face for the surprising pin.
7. Sheamus/Cesaro b. Hardy Boyz (12:32) C+.
The Hardys got the pop of the night but unfortunately the match was about the same thing these teams have been doing for months now. Jeff had his facepaint back and Matt was doing the DELETE pose fairly often. The match was perfectly watchable and the crowd was WAY into everything the Hardys were doing all match long. Sheamus snapped Matt’s throat across the top rope so Cesaro could grab a small package to retain the titles.
8. John Cena b. Bray Wyatt (14:08) C.
Much like the previous match, this was exactly what you would expect from these two. Cena got a great reaction and easily the second biggest of the night. Above all else though, I couldn’t get over how sad it is that Bray has gone from an awesome cult leader to a homeless guy who swings a lantern around. He’s completely lacking direction and it’s been sad to watch for a good while now. The ref got bumped so there was no one to see Bray tap to the STF. A low blow gave Wyatt two (with the kids losing their minds on the kickout), followed by an AA for the pin.
A Smackdown Live taping was announced for November, though I had originally heard of this as a Raw. They put tickets on sale for one night so I picked up a similar seat for the exact same price as the house show. You would think the TV aspect and a more important show would raise prices/mean the house show should have been lower but not so much. There were probably 100 people in line to buy tickets but if there are four months before the show, the low pre-sale isn’t a surprise.
Overall it was a fun night with a VERY hot crowd. The faces mostly won and it was more than entertaining enough. Two tickets in the lower arena (sixth row in the first set of seats off the floor) were $75 total so it was hardly expensive as another nice perk. Good show and a lot of fun, which to be fair was helped by it being five minutes from my house.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Monday Night Raw – April 25, 1994: Back to the Downward Spiral
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
It has to be better than last week, almost by definition. That being said, the big draw for the week is Nikolai Volkoff as the guest on the King’s Court. I’m really scared of what this show might do to my psyche and I survived the entirety of Nitro and Thunder. At least this one is just an hour long so let’s get to it.
Vince immediately plugs Volkoff’s appearance and we’re already in the downward spiral.
Opening sequence.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon
Non-title but if Jarrett wins, he’s going to be on a country music talk show. Vince makes sure to get in Hee Haw jokes but I’m more interested in Ramon’s powder blue boots. Jeff takes him down and swats at Razor’s head to start but is quickly tossed outside with the fall away slam. Razor follows him outside and gets sent into the steps as we see Volkoff sitting in the crowd (not mentioned by commentary).
Jeff gets two off an elbow to the jaw and there’s the middle rope fist drop for the same. We hit the chinlock as the announcers switch over to boxing. Back from a break with Razor’s sunset flip getting two and Savage needing a shower. It’s off to a sleeper for the required two arm drops. Savage: “I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!”
Razor’s belly to back suplex gets two but gets sent outside….and here’s Shawn Michaels. Shawn doesn’t do anything but Razor hits him in the jaw anyway. Well to be fair he’s a bad guy. Razor makes his latest comeback and clotheslines Jeff to the floor but stops to pull Shawn inside. The beating is on, only to have Diesel come in for the DQ.
Rating: C+. The match wasn’t even all that great but it’s already made the show better than anything else they had going on in recent weeks. Jarrett certainly isn’t the most interesting wrestler in the world but at least he’s capable of having a good match if you give him the right opponent. He and Razor always had good chemistry too so the match was certainly watchable.
Diesel destroys Razor post match, including hitting the Jackknife and standing on his chest. Shawn does the same and drops the title on Ramon. Diesel would win the title on Sunday’s TV show.
Shawn says Diesel is the real champion. Diesel says the opportunity was there and he seized it.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tony DeVito
The announcers talk about Jimmy Carter’s daughter and Prince Charles’ dog. Vince: “I don’t get the connection.” DeVito hits a shoulder but gets dropkicked down. Out of current news to discuss/mock, Vince gets a call from Jack Tunny, who officially makes the Quebecers vs. the Headshrinkers for the titles next week. Bigelow finishes with the enziguri.
The Quebecers will face the Headshrinkers but they’re NOT happy with it.
The Mayor of Stamford, Connecticut thanks the company for a fundraiser they held recently. Did we mention Vince was dealing with the steroids trial around this time? No connection of course but just though I’d throw that out there.
Heavenly Bodies vs. John Paul/Jason Headings
Paul gets thrown around to start so it’s off to the long haired Headings, who takes a quick Veg-O-Matic for two. We hear about Mr. Perfect no showing a match in Cincinnati and an indefinite suspension as a result. Translation: he’s left the company, as would the Steiners and the Quebecers around this time. Del Ray takes Headings down and gyrates his (own) hips, which Vince calls disgusting. Prichard suplexes Del Ray into a moonsault for two as Vince talks about National Secretaries Week. Del Ray’s moonsault press finishes Jason.
Rating: D+. I couldn’t stand the Bodies back in the day but they’ve grown on me in repeat viewings. They were a solid, slower paced team and that’s where Cornette was perfect as the manager. Good little squash here with Del Ray’s high flying helping move things along quite well.
It’s King’s Court time with Lawler bringing up Volkoff, who is $8 shy of having thirty cents. Lawler mocks the hideous brown suit as you can see a lot of empty seats in the upper deck. That’s a bad sign when the building only holds about 5,700. Lawler makes jokes about Volkoff’s poverty but Volkoff says he’ll tell the truth. He’s just come from Europe but now he’s home in the United States. He’s made some bad investments and has lost a lot of money, though he’ll still fight Lawler anytime. Volkoff is looking for a job and is willing to work for any honest man. We’re actually to the point where a former evil foreign goon is the sympathetic face? There was NO ONE else available for this story?
1-2-3 Kid vs. Duane Gill
The announcers AGAIN talk about the Wrestlemania Revenge house show tour as Kid gets hammered in the corner to start. Kid gets in a top rope clothesline and a spinning kick to the jaw to take over. Gill takes him back down and grabs a chinlock as Vince gets on Savage for failing at reading an ad for a movie. Kid fights up and finishes with the spinwheel kick.
Rating: D+. At least Kid’s offense is entertaining enough to make these things a bit more bearable. Gill was one of those career jobbers until he somehow wound up winning the Light Heavyweight Title because you never can guess how things are going to go in wrestling. Nothing to see here of course but I’m still trying to get my head around Volkoff being a face, even for a short bit of time.
A guy at a deli saw Undertaker buying cheese. Apparently he likes pickles too. And they wonder why they were in peril at this point.
Owen Hart vs. Rich Myers
Owen trips him down to start and slaps him in the face as you can see at least four empty seats in the first five rows. A gutwrench suplex plants Myers as we hit the WE WANT BRET chants. The beating continues until Owen avoids a dropkick and grabs the Sharpshooter for the submission.
Rating: D. Another boring squash but that’s just what you have to expect at this point. Owen was on a roll at this point though and the WE WANT BRET chants at least show that they have a hot angle. Unfortunately it would be FOUR MONTHS before their title match with almost nothing of note in between from the two of them.
Johnny Polo and Lou Albano argue some more. Johnny: “WHAT ARE YOU A CAPTAIN OF ANYWAY???” Savage has had enough and grabs Polo so Albano can nail him to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. The opener helps this a lot but it’s very clear that the extra pay per views in 1995 helped a lot. There’s just NOTHING between Wrestlemania and King of the Ring and even that was a pretty lame show. Owen vs. Bret will be good but we’ll all be dead of old age by the time we get there. Bad show, but not as bad as the rest of the terrible month.
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Monday Night Raw – April 18, 1994: When Even Bret Can’t Save You
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
Save us Bret. Like please, SAVE US. The shows have gotten even more boring than they’ve been in the months leading up to this, which I wouldn’t have believed to be possible. Thank goodness Bret is back tonight and hopefully he can turn things around a bit. As long as Men on a Mission isn’t wrestling, we should be ok. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip of Lawler falling off the throne last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage wants a title shot against Bret. Why didn’t he get one at some point actually?
Bret Hart vs. Kwang
Non-title. Kwang wastes no time in jumping Bret during the entrances and scores off some early kicks. If nothing else we get the highly amusing idea of Vince trying to call the various kicks in a moment that would make Eric Bischoff cry. Bret easily takes him down and works on the arm, only to be sent hard out to the floor. A weak forearm from the apron drops Bret again as Vince says Kwang could be ranked in contention for the title if he wins here. I’ll take that over “getting into the title hunt”.
Back from a break with Bret still in trouble via a nerve hold as Owen Hart calls in. The power of his brother’s voice lets Bret get in a crossbody, only to have Kwang choke him on the ropes again. Bret avoids a spinwheel kick as Owen brags about beating Bret at Wrestlemania (as he should). The Five Moves of Doom set up the Sharpshooter to make Kwang quit. Savage: “THIS IS HISTORY!”
Rating: D. What were you expecting here? When a guy isn’t even good enough to guarantee a spot in the title hunt by beating the champ, it might be time to find a better career. Like as a Caribbean legend with a high level of success strap matches. Bret vs. Owen is clearly the big match coming up and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Doink and Dink were at a charity hockey game. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Jeff Jarrett vs. P.J. Walker
The announcers talk about current events to avoid having to talk about how bad this match could be. Jeff takes him down to start and runs his mouth about wanting respect. Well I guess Jarrett is higher up in the ranks than Kwang. Savage STILL wants a shot at Bret and again I want to know why that never went anywhere, even as a one off house show match. We hit the abdominal stretch and let’s talk about a book written by Bill Clinton’s mother. Jarrett keeps things slow with a slingshot suplex and middle rope fist drop (Where’s Lawler when you need him?). A DDT ends Walker.
Rating: D. It’s slightly better than the opener, mainly due to a lack of Caribbean martial arts. Jarrett was ridiculously boring though and that’s not made any better by Vince ripping on Clinton for some issues with beauty queens. I’ll spare you the Trump joke/reference for now and get away from this match as fast as I can.
Lou Albano wants a title shot for the Headshrinkers next week.
Steiner Brothers vs. Barry Hardy/Mike Khoury
Scott throws Khoury around with ease before it’s off to Barry, who eats a t-bone suplex of his own. A hard kick to the ribs makes things even worse as the Steiners are seeming a bit stiffer than usual. Rick sends Barry ribs first into the corner as Savage implies he’d date Christie Brinkley. He has good taste if nothing else.
Scott ties Barry in the Tree of Woe and chokes as Vince points out that the Steiners are being more aggressive than usual. More Clinton sex jokes follow and Rick busts out a belly to belly superplex. A middle rope Angle Slam plants Barry and it’s the FREAKING STEINER SCREWDRIVER (completely ignored by the announcers) to end Khoury.
Rating: D+. I could watch that Screwdriver all day as it’s one of the best looking finishers of all time. On top of that, I could go for more of these aggressive Steiner Brothers but unfortunately they were on their way out of the promotion due to wanting to work more in Japan. At least we get one more good squash before they leave in a month or so and that’s never a bad thing.
Duke Droese, the wrestling garbageman, is coming. Duke: “I don’t take trash from anyone. Well yeah I do.” And that’s all you need to know about Duke Droese.
It’s time for the King’s Court with guest Women’s Champion Alundra Blayze so Lawler gets in some ugly jokes before she comes out. There’s no title belt to start but Blayze does have a gift for Lawler: a Burger King crown labeled Lawler is a Loser. Hard hitting indeed. Blayze makes jokes about last week’s fall, which is getting more mileage than Wrestlemania at this point.
We hear about this being a ripoff of Piper’s Pit (well duh) and Blayze thinks Piper should be getting royalties. Lawler goes into a rant about Piper wearing a dress and manages to spit on Blayze. He gets to the point of asking about the belt, which Blayze turns into a question about Lawler wearing women’s clothes.
Lawler brings out Luna Vachon, with Lawler suggesting that Luna stole the title. If she did, Blayze didn’t seem too mad about it until Vachon came out here. Luna says she didn’t steal the title but if she was champion, she would keep her belt with her. Blayze accuses Luna of stealing the title so she can feel like a champion and challenges her to a fight. Of course she leaves before Luna can do anything, making this a rather awkward segment.
Blayze was REALLY bad on the mic here but it’s fairly clear that she didn’t get to talk very much. It would take her a long time to get better on that and while she was never great, she would be passable and that’s about all you need to be, especially when women’s wrestling wasn’t a big deal during her era.
Earthquake vs. Mike Bell
Vince AGAIN pushes the house show tour, including speculation of Earthquake vs. Yokozuna. Earthquake sends him outside to start and Bell actually gets in some right hands on the way back in. A dropkick (topsy turvy according to Savage) puts Bell down though and it’s time for the squashilization to begin. Earthquake gets in a second dropkick and grabs a belly to belly as I think you get the idea from here. The big leg sets up the Earthquake for the easy pin.
Rating: D. I always forget that Earthquake was a moderately big deal in 1994 and how odd it always seems. That’s quite odd as he was a Tag Team Champion as late as fall 1992 so this is hardly the biggest stretch in the world. If nothing else though, I get why he left to be a main event jobber in WCW instead of losing to Yokozuna over and over.
We look at IRS attacking Tatanka and Chief Jay Strongbow over Tatanka’s headdress. You have to pay those gift taxes you see.
IRS vs. Major Yates
Yates, who unfortunately isn’t a military guy, gets sent into the buckle to start as the IRWIN chants get going. We hit an early abdominal stretch, followed by a seated half nelson of all things. A sunset flip gives Yates two (Savage: “MAJOR YATES IS COOL!”) but the Penalty (STF) puts him away with no effort.
Rating: D-. For the love of all things good and holy END THIS SHOW ALREADY! If nothing else let me have some shorter squashes so I don’t have to come up with something to talk about every single time. These things are somehow getting worse and that makes for a very long set of matches.
Johnny Polo is NOT worried about fighting the Headshrinkers and he’s not heading to Toronto to beg Jack Tunney to not make the match.
Lawler promises Nikolai Volkoff as his guest next week. That’s your draw here people.
Overall Rating: F. Thank goodness it’s over. This was one of the worst episodes the show has ever done as it was just so BORING. The squashes were all longer than they needed to be and Bret was clearly not all that interested in doing anything of note. Terrible show here and I’ll take anything else at this point.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Monday Night Raw – April 11, 1994: A Cameo Fit For A King
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage
The big idea tonight is the fan vote for a shot at the Tag Team Titles. In other words, it was a way to get the fans to pay money for the sake of picking a match, even if it wasn’t the hardest decision in the world. Translation: a good idea that I’m surprised they only did a handful of times. Let’s get to it.
The Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission and the Smoking Gunns want you to vote for them.
Opening sequence.
The announcers welcome us to the show and thankfully that awful green screen is gone.
Diesel vs. Virgil
Diesel wastes no time in hammering the bald one down and starts in on his back. A side slam sets up a bearhug, which Vince thinks might be a submission maneuver. Virgil fights out but gets caught in the same hold (which may be of the submission variety) again. Diesel sends him into the corner and grabs the third version of the alleged submission hold (as opposed to a countout hold). That edition is broken up fairly quickly though and Virgil gets two off a dropkick. Diesel kicks him in the chest though and the Jackknife is good for the pin.
Rating: D-. This match wasn’t even six minutes long and we had the same submission hold (yes submission Vince) three times. If nothing else though, it makes sense to have Diesel beat a somewhat bigger name (work with me here) in Virgil, as beating up the nameless jobbers is only going to get him so far, which it’s already done.
Vince pimps the number to pick the challengers again.
It’s time for the King’s Court with the jobbers dropping the throne near the ring. Lawler freaks out as only he can, including yelling at one of them who is none other than D’Lo Brown. After a break, Lawler’s crown is shoved down on his head for an even more ridiculous look than usual.
Lawler’s guest is Lex Luger, who mocks the style of the show. When Lawler glares at him, Luger sits down on the throne to make Lawler even angrier. Lawler finally gets to the point and brings up Mr. Perfect allegedly costing Luger the match. We see the clip and again, Perfect has a point: Luger shoved him and that should be a DQ.
Luger says that was clearly personal and if Perfect had a problem with him, he should have been a man and settled it man to man instead of waiting until the most important night of Luger’s career. He’d love it if Perfect grew some guts and got in the ring with him like a man. Keep wishing Lex.
Thurman Sparky Plugg vs. Barry Horowitz
Barry grabs a wristlock and pats himself on the back as Savage talks about wanting to have eggs over easy in the morning. That leads to a discussion of wanting Undertaker to go to a mall in Worcester, Massachusetts to beat up a guy who punched a guy in a Barney the Dinosaur costume. As the boring match continues, Mr. Perfect calls in and Savage says he’s a coward. Perfect and Savage argue as Holly finishes with a top rope knee drop.
Rating: D. There was so much else going on with this match that I had almost no idea what I was supposed to be paying attention to. That being said, the fact that one of the wrestlers was named Thurman Plugg tells you almost everything you need to know about it. The commentary was more interesting and it’s not like the match meant anything in the first place.
The Quebecers want to know who they’re facing. Patience champs.
Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Men on a Mission
Men on a Mission is challenging. The champs try to get in a cheap shot to start but Jacques knocks Johnny Polo to the floor and gets sent outside as we as we take an early break. Back with Pierre in trouble as Mabel drops the huge leg to the back of the head. Jacques comes in and kicks away at the monster’s leg for some success, only to have Pierre walk into a Boss Man Slam. Moral: don’t let Pierre wrestle as he’s not very good.
Mo comes in and is somehow even worse, allowing Pierre to beat him down. Back from a break with Pierre suplexing Jacques onto Mo for two. Mo avoids a charge in the corner but still can’t get over for a tag. Instead it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Mabel.
The fat man gets dropped again but manages to run over Jacques. The champs do the switch behind the referee’s back but Mabel crushes Pierre anyway. A splash in the corner gives Mo two, only to have him go flying over the ropes in a crash because, again, he’s not very talented. Everything breaks down and Mabel slams Polo, leaving Mo to eat the Cannonball to retain the titles.
Rating: F+. Sweet goodness this was bad. The tag division was such a mess at this point and they decided to have Men on a Mission in there instead of rigging the poll for the sake of having the Gunns in there? Terrible match here with the far too long running time dragging the thing even lower.
The Bushwhackers, Doink and Dink were at the White House Easter Egg Roll.
IRS wants Tatanka to pay his taxes.
Overall Rating: D-. That tag match just killed the show, which wasn’t exactly any good in the first place. This show is dying for some better star power and some better wrestlers, which should be aided when Bret Hart is back next week. When the highlight of the show is Lawler falling and a D’Lo Brown cameo, the show is in real trouble and I think a lot of people knew it.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Monday Night Raw – April 4, 1994: Everybody in the Ring for a Ten Man Tag
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon
I still can’t get away from this year. This is just over two weeks after Wrestlemania X so Bret Hart is reigning on high as the WWF World Champion. There isn’t much else going on at the moment as we’re still firmly in the fallout stage, meaning things aren’t going to pick up again for a good while. Let’s get to it.
Adam Bomb and Earthquake got in an argument backstage and a match was set up for later. That would be a Wrestlemania rematch in case you needed the extra spice.
Opening sequence.
The announcers, in front of a horrible green screen, welcome us to the show and talk baseball.
Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb
Bomb jumps him at the bell (I guess he has a short fuse) but gets clotheslined outside for his efforts. Back in and the shoulders have no effect on Earthquake so let’s head outside for another breather. Vince: “Maybe he can find some direction from North Korea.” Bomb comes back in with a slingshot clothesline for two as Howard Finkel and Harvey Wippleman get into it on the floor. As Vince plugs house shows, Bomb charges into a boot and gets suplexed down. The Earthquake ends Bomb without too much effort.
Rating: D. This was far longer than their Wrestlemania match (which only lasted about thirty seconds) and I’m not sure I get the point in having Earthquake win here, unless they were setting him up to be fed to Yokozuna or something. Anyway, not a great match here by any stretch but given who was in there, this could have been worse. Not much more standard, but worse.
We look back at Mr. Perfect costing Lex Luger the WWF World Title at Wrestlemania.
Luger blames Perfect because he wants revenge.
Here’s Perfect for an explanation. An explanation of him being shoved and disqualifying Luger as a result? Monsoon rants about what Perfect did and wants to know what was going on. Perfect says he has nothing against Luger or Yokozuna but Luger pulled both Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji into the ring. That was ok though and Perfect let them go.
Then Luger turned Perfect around but that was allowed too because it was a championship match. But then Luger turned him around again and pushed him and that was too far. If the people have a problem with that, they’re the ones with the problem. Monsoon threatens him with some Luger violence to wrap things up.
Razor Ramon tells us to keep watching.
Razor Ramon vs. Austin Steele
Non-title. Steele looks like Buddy Landel. Razor throws him down and grabs a modified STF so he can slap Steele in the back of the head. We hit a long abdominal stretch before a chokeslam and a hard Razor’s Edge put Steele away.
Rating: D+. Razor’s offense looked crisp as usual and Steele looked good bouncing around on the mat. Most of the match was spent hyping up Ramon vs. Diesel on the upcoming house show tour and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not like they had anything else to talk about at this point.
We look back at last week’s show with Johnny Polo and the Quebecers issuing an open challenge so Captain Lou Albano brought out the freshly face turned Headshrinkers.
Polo and the Quebecers aren’t sure who they’re facing next week (it could be the Smoking Gunns, the Bushwhackers or Men on a Mission) but they’ll fight anyone.
Tatanka/Thurman Sparky Plugg/1-2-3 Kid/Smoking Gunns vs. Headshrinkers/Jeff Jarrett/IRS/Rick Martel
This was originally scheduled for Wrestlemania but the heels couldn’t pick a captain (read as Shawn vs. Razor went REALLY long) and it was cut. Billy and Samu start things off with Gunn backsliding him for two, earning himself one heck of a clothesline to turn him inside out. The beating continues until Tatanka gets in a shot, allowing for the hot tag off to Bart (work with me here).
Jeff sends him into the buckle though and the villains take over again. IRS hammers away and we take a break. Back with Plugg working on Martel’s arm and getting two off a crossbody. The announcers talk about IRS wanting Tatanka to pay a gift tax on his new headdress (I’ve heard worse actually) as the armbarring continues.
It’s off to IRS vs. the Kid with a kick to the head almost knocking IRS’ tie off. Everything breaks down (as you might have expected) but IRS avoids a charge in the corner (which looked like a Bronco Buster to someone standing up, which basically means it was designed to miss) and pins the Kid without too much effort.
Rating: C. Longer than it needed to be here but it’s nice to have something that actually feels important for a change. If nothing else it’s nice to get whatever we missed from Wrestlemania, which actually bothered me back in the day. Even back then I didn’t buy the argument and thought it was just the show running long.
Pick the Quebecers’ opponents and give us your money!
It’s time for the debut of the Heartbreak Hotel with Shawn listing off the rules, including don’t take the towels and ashtrays. Now to the point: Diesel wants the Intercontinental Title. That’s about it and remember: at the Heartbreak Hotel, you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave. I can always go for some Eagles and it makes up for the lame segment, at least to a certain extent.
Video on Wrestlemania X.
Yokozuna vs. Scott Powers
Forearms to the back and the big legdrop set up the Banzai Drop for the quick squash. The only matter of note is Yokozuna checking the ropes because he’s scared after falling at Wrestlemania.
One more hotline plug ends the show.
Overall Rating: D+. A totally ho hum episode here with the only moderately interesting thing being the ten man tag. Shawn and the Heartbreak Hotel is hardly noteworthy, especially when it was clear that Shawn didn’t have the thing down yet. We’re firmly in the Wrestlemania fallout period here and that doesn’t mean the most interesting time in the world.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Smackdown – February 13, 2003: They Have a Way Out
Smackdown
Date: February 13, 2003
Location: Centennial Garden, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re less than two weeks away from No Way Out and you can see most of the card from here. The big story coming out of last week is Team Angle, now with a title for each, seemingly getting ready to face Edge/Chris Benoit/Brock Lesnar. Other than that there’s always Rock vs. Hulk Hogan so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
There’s another crate addressed to Undertaker.
Charlie Haas vs. Edge
Haas has Paul Heyman with him. Edge takes him down into an armbar to start so Charlie hammers away in the corner as they’re doing the opposite of what you would probably expect. Something close to an exploder suplex gives Charlie two, followed by a northern lights suplex for the same.
A double arm crank keeps Edge in trouble for a bit before he pops up with his own suplex to drop Charlie. An enziguri stuns Charlie again and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge gets creative with something like a DDT fisherman’s suplex (basically a fisherman’s suplex without wrapping Haas’ arm around his neck first) for two but Heyman gets on the apron. The spear drops him but Charlie grabs a rollup for the pin.
Rating: C. The ending hurt it a good bit but they’re doing a great job of building up Team Angle. They win more often than not and it keeps them from looking weak. Today, a team like them would probably be jobbing every other week in singles matches while WWE blamed them for their horrible work or something like that.
Nathan Jones will be on Smackdown. Not for long that is but he’ll be here.
Angle is in Stephanie’s office when she comes in. After complimenting her new hair, Angle hands her a rose in a fairly random bit of niceness. He actually goes to kiss her when Brock Lesnar comes in. The staredown ensues so Stephanie announces the six man tag for No Way Out. Angle takes the rose back.
Rikishi vs. Nunzio
Rematch from last week when Nunzio threatened mob connections. Nunzio dives at him before the bell but here are Chuck Palumbo and Johnny the Bull to beat Rikishi down. No match.
Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy
Matt, who always gets more Valentine’s Day cards than his brother, doesn’t send flowers and only gets chocolates, is down from 230lbs to 222lbs, putting him near the cruiserweight limit of 220. Matt is wrestling in a rubber suit to burn more weight in a creative idea. The extra gear seems to mess with him a bit though as he can’t keep up with Rey and gets taken out of the corner with an ankle scissors. A missed charge sends Rey outside though and Shannon Moore gets in a few stomps of his own.
Matt gets two off a gutwrench suplex as Cole suggests Tazz get in one of those rubber suits. Tazz: “Nah Cole I just take a bunch of Stacker II (sponsor at the time)”. A surfboard with Matt’s boot between Rey’s shoulders doesn’t get him very far so it’s off to a torture rack for a bit better result.
Matt seems to be getting winded though and it’s a spring seated senton for no cover. Rey gets two off a springboard split legged moonsault but dives into a Side Effect for the same. Matt is almost completely gassed though and falls to his knees, right into 619 position. The West Coast Pop puts Matt away.
Rating: C+. I like this idea and it gives Matt something to do, which is more than he’s had going on in a long time. If nothing else he’s still good with the comedy and this is a good way for him to showcase those skills. That being said, his Cruiserweight Title shot (providing he loses the weight) has already been announced so he shouldn’t be losing here.
Matt, dripping with sweat, promises to win the title at No Way Out.
We look back at Brian Kendrick’s time in WWE to date.
Kendrick is complaining about his bad luck to Sean O’Haire when Bill DeMott comes up. DeMott doesn’t want to hear about it and beats Kendrick up until O’Haire gets in Bill’s face for the save.
Chris Benoit vs. A-Train
A-Train tries to take Benoit into the corner to intimidate him. Why he thinks this would work isn’t clear and he has to get to the ropes to avoid the Crossface. A-Train slams him down on the ribs and drops an elbow for good measure. A modified Gory Stretch (with a reverse full nelson instead of pulling on the chin) sets up a modified Widow’s Peak. A-Train gets two off a Vader Bomb but Benoit slips out of the torture rack. Some good looking German suplexes (Benoit got him WAY up) have A-Train reeling but the Swan Dive misses. The bicycle kick gets two and it’s time for the Derailer, only to have Benoit reverse into the Crossface for the tap.
Rating: C. They were beating the heck out of each other here but Benoit was the right choice to carry things as A-Train did all of his power offense. This also helps Benoit going into the pay per view as he’s beating people he should beat. A-Train’s push continues to be all over the place but at least he’s not beating people he shouldn’t be.
The Girls Gone Wild boss comes up to Torrie Wilson to offer her a spot on his pay per view special. Torrie agrees, promising to get very wild.
We recap Big Show attacking Undertaker four months ago.
Heyman is in the ring with the crate and hopes Undertaker won’t destroy this present like he did to the man of love last week. Cue Undertaker with Heyman immediately looking nervous. Heyman leaves in a hurry and it’s…..Kanyon in the box. For some reason he’s dressed as Boy George and belts out a little Culture Club. Kanyon: “WHO BETTER THAN KANYON???” Tazz: “That guy looks familiar!” Kanyon gets in some offense but the beatdown is on in a hurry. Undertaker beats on him with a chair as Heyman begs for mercy.
Matt is wearing himself out on an exercise bike to lose more weight.
Funaki is with John Cena and tries to look like a rapper. Cena schools him a bit.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin
Joined in progress with Eddie getting out of a top wristlock and snapmaring him to the mat. Back up and a powerslam gives Shelton two, followed by an electric chair for the same. They’re certainly working the amateur stuff here, which is easily the best idea for both of them at this point. Shelton grabs a chinlock for a bit, followed by a very high backdrop for two. A belly to belly gives Eddie two in some of his first significant offense. They head to the corner with Eddie getting in a sunset bomb but missing the frog splash. Shelton is right back up with the Dragon Whip for the clean pin.
Rating: B. That’s quite the performance from someone who has such little main roster experience. Eddie helped a lot of course and it was very nice to see Shelton get in a ton of offense like this. It’s not like Eddie is going to lose anything from this match while Shelton gets a big rub. Good stuff.
LONG video on Rock vs. Hogan, recapping their feud from last year and show of respect after the showdown at Wrestlemania. Now they’re fighting again because Hogan is feuding with Vince, who brought Rock back for the match. In other words, the Rock is now just a soldier in Vince’s army against Hogan, who he’s fighting with because…..I have no idea. This is missing from the WWE Network for some reason.
Hugh Hefner tells us that a WWE Diva will be in Playboy soon.
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Bra and panties match with a bunch of Valentine’s Day stuff in the ring. During the entrances, Tazz thinks it’s going to be Stephanie in Playboy. That might not be the best idea in 2003. Dawn, who is wrestling in a sports bra in the first place, jumps her from behind and takes the shirt off to choke away. Torrie dropkicks her to the floor and gets Dawn’s top off, revealing a smaller bra. Dawn’s pants come halfway down before they try some rollups for the sake of camera shots.
Rating: D-. I can’t call them failures based on how they looked but sweet goodness these things do not hold up well. If nothing else it feels out of place when you have Team Angle and Eddie Guerrero on the show, making this quite the downgrade. They’re embarrassing as a wrestling fan and, given that Torrie would be in Playboy in a few months, would become even more obsolete in a hurry.
Nidia runs in post match but Torrie beats both heels down, gets Nidia’s pants off and spanks her a bit.
Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena
Brock leaves a chair out for Angle in case he’d like to come to ringside. Cena’s rap isn’t his best work as he calls Lesnar muscular and stupid. Brock beats him down in a hurry and gets in a hard backbreaker. The belly to belly suplex sends Cena out to the floor and Lesnar does it again for good measure. Brock rips off a turnbuckle pad for no apparent reason and Cena blasts him with the chain for two.
Cena grabs a rear naked choke of all things and even holds on despite being rammed hard into the buckle. Since that doesn’t work, Brock picks him up and rams him into two buckles for the break instead. Brock unloads with shoulders to the ribs in the corner and the third belly to belly (so it happened back then too). The F5 is enough for the pin.
Rating: B-. These two have always had a chemistry together and they’re always entertaining to watch as a result. Lesnar was way ahead of Cena at this point but you could see the potential in Cena starting to come out. The match was competitive and Cena got to show off a bit, which he needs at this point.
Post match Lesnar calls Angle out because he wants to do this right now. With Kurt not coming, Lesnar F5’s Cena into the post. We cut to Kurt in the back, eventually getting sick of this and coming out to the arena. Post break and here’s the champ to say they’ll give the fans the best match ever. Angle gets in Brock’s face but says not tonight. Bakersfield doesn’t deserve it and he has a sinus infection. Angle is willing to do it next week so Brock agrees before taking Angle down with a clothesline. Brock loads up the F5 into the post but has to deal with Team Angle. Lesnar stands tall to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was a solid wrestling show for the most part, assuming you ignore the women’s stuff. No Way Out is looking hit or miss from the Smackdown side but at least we have the good TV leading up. I’m sure the fact that Hogan wasn’t on the show had nothing to do with the quality going up either. That match is really starting to stick out as a bad idea, though Scott Steiner vs. HHH will make sure it’s not the worst thing on the pay per view. It’s a good Smackdown this week though and that’s always welcome.
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