Monday Night Raw
Date: July 3, 2017
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Great Balls of Fire and the question becomes which match WWE is treating as the featured attraction tonight. In other words, it depends on if Brock Lesnar is here tonight or not, as tends to be the case all the time. Sunday’s show is suddenly a bit more interesting amid rumors of Roman Reigns vs. Lesnar at Summerslam instead of Wrestlemania so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Enzo Amore pleading with Big Cass to keep the team together and Cass teasing to do so, only to lay Enzo out again. Still the absolutely right call.

Here’s Enzo to open the show. He lists off all the bad things that have happened to him in the last year and says that all happened while Cass was behind his back. Cass watched all that time because he never had Enzo’s back. Cass wanted to take advantage of the silver tongue but now he has to face the fists that come with it.

Enzo is grateful for everything that’s happened to him and he’d shove his dad down a wishing well before he joined the dark side. He’s grateful to every kid out there wearing his gear. They’re the people who help put food on his table because he believes in the good that he’s doing. It’s something you just can’t teach. He walks in and out of a room with confidence because he knows who he is and he knows where he’s going. He’s been in holes a lot deeper than seven feet before and Cass is nothing more than a catchphrase that Enzo wrote.

Cass said his mouth writes checks that he can’t back up but no one goes harder than him. Next time, don’t be surprised if that merchandise check is for ZERO DIMES. Unless he starts wearing a Casshole shirt. Enzo is ready to go but comes back to say he’s ready to fight on his own because it’s all him now. This was an INCREDIBLE promo but there’s not much of a way around the fact that he has nothing to back it up with in the ring.

Cass says Enzo can’t talk the talk because on Sunday, he won’t be walking at all. He’s ready for Sunday but Enzo jumps him from behind and the fight is on. It’s quickly broken up but that was some good fire.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss

Nia throws Bayley into the corner to start but gets dropkicked a few times. That just earns Bayley a modified Snake Eyes so it’s off to Banks for a double dropkick. Another dropkick puts Nia on the floor but she grabs Bayley off the apron and crushes her against the barricade. Back from a break with Bayley having been taken to the back from being crushed. Sasha stomps Alexa in the corner but Nia just crushes her with a backbreaker. Bliss stands on Banks’ hair for a bit until Sasha fights up and kicks Jax in the knee. The Bank Statement ends Bliss out of nowhere at 10:15.

Rating: C-. I’d love to see how much further they could make Bayley look worthless. At this point they’re setting her up for a heel turn and really, that’s about all they can do for her as she’s been treated as the biggest loser I’ve seen in a long time. Banks just beat the monster and the champ on her own but I’m supposed to care about Bayley? Really?

Braun Strowman tells Kurt Angle that he’s dealing with Roman Reigns tonight.

Long video on Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar with Brock saying he’s not worried about Joe just because he put his hands on Heyman.

Noam Dar vs. Cedric Alexander

These two have spent more time being done fighting than they spent fighting in the first place. Alicia Fox makes her return and gets to see Cedric clothesline Dar to the floor. Back in and Dar gets in a kick to the chest for two. Dar starts in on the arm but Fox gets on the apron for an accidental distraction, allowing Cedric to hit the Lumbar Check for the pin at 2:09. NOW NEVER TALK TO EACH OTHER AGAIN.

We look at the attention the Ball Family got from their MizTV appearance last week. Ignore no one talking about wrestling and talking about Ball acting like an idiot but any publicity is good publicity right Vince? When is that Chris Benoit retrospective coming?

It’s time for MizTV with Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas behind Miz and Maryse. Last week, Miz exposed the Ball Family as the overrated acts that they are and Lonzo will prove it again when he’s an NBA bust. The only bigger bust than Lonzo is Dean Ambrose, who the Ball Family would be crazy to have as a representative. When Ambrose debuted, he was going to be the next Roddy Piper and the breakout star of the Shield. Now though, we know that Ambrose can’t handle success. Dean is going to be the biggest joke in WWE but here he is to interrupt.

Ambrose wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Title and wants it tonight. Cue Heath Slater and Rhyno though with Heath saying he’s never had a shot at a singles title in eight years. He’s always telling his kids that he’s got this and things will be ok but in reality, he has no idea if he’s got this. Dean: “You’ve got kids?” Miz says no but here’s Angle to say Miz is defending against Slater tonight and Ambrose on Sunday. Let’s have tonight’s match…..now.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Heath Slater

Miz is defending and wearing a suit while Ambrose is on commentary. Slater grabs a rollup to start but we go with a headlock to slow things down instead. Some right hands have Miz in trouble as Dean talks about the delicious food that he hears Slater’s wife makes at the trailer. Miz bails to the floor off an atomic drop and we take a break.

Back with Miz holding a front facelock and sending Heath outside where Rhyno and the Miztourage get in a staredown. Ambrose: “Miztourage. That’s so bad. That’s almost as bad as Great Balls of fire.” Back in and Miz hits the YES Kicks until a flapjack takes him down. Slater slugs away and hits a jumping knee to the face for two.

The neckbreaker out of the corner gets two more and Slater powerslams him off the top for a nice counter. Rhyno goes after Dallas and Axel for getting on the apron to distract the referee, earning himself a posting. The distraction lets the Skull Crushing Finale retain the title at 12:48.

Rating: C+. Better than I was expecting here with Slater giving it a go but coming up short due to the numbers game. The Miztourage is a nice upgrade for Miz, who could only get so far with Maryse in his corner. Of course it doesn’t matter as he’s fighting Ambrose AGAIN, which feels like he’s been going on for a year now.

Ambrose hits the ring for the save but gets beaten down as well.

We look back at Strowman taking Reigns out last week.

Titus O’Neil wants Apollo Crews to face Braun Strowman for the sake of his daughter. Crews actually falls for it with Titus saying the power of freaky daddy strength is enough to beat Strowman. If FREAKY DADDY STRENGTH isn’t a shirt by Thursday, I worry about this promotion’s future.

Here’s Goldust to talk about his new film: the Shattered Truth. This film wouldn’t be possible without everyone in this arena. All the little people you see. With this film, he’s done the impossible and turned R-Truth into a star. The film is a highlight reel of last week’s non-match, shot something like a trailer with footage from the cameraman Goldust brought with him. When the film is done, Truth is behind Goldust, munching on some popcorn. Goldust is quickly chased to the floor.

Sheamus and Cesaro come into Angle’s office so he can give them their stipulation for Sunday’s title match against the Hardys: a thirty minute Iron Man match. EGADS are they trying to give me an aneurysm with these guys feuding forever?

Seth Rollins vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins polls the fans on who is going to win here. After Rollins tells him to shut up, it’s the windup jumping knee to the face for the pin at 9 seconds.

Post match Rollins grabs the mic and calls Bray Wyatt a coward. Whenever he’s ready for a fight, Wyatt is nowhere to be seen. Wyatt always talks about how he’s a god and ready to destroy everything but on Sunday, Seth is going to expose him for what he is. The only question will be if Bray is a man or a coward.

Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar are live via satellite for a sitdown interview. Joe rants about being tired of answering questions because he’s ready to fight. Lesnar calls him a coward but Joe says Brock can never get his hands on him. Joe is ready to fight so Lesnar lists off all the names he’s beaten. That’s fine with Joe, who has a list of names he’s choked out. Lesnar and Heyman chuckle so Joe walks out and goes to find Brock. Angle tries to talk him down but security pulls Joe away from Lesnar’s room. I know Joe loses on Sunday but this is the best build of a Lesnar opponent in longer than I can remember.

Neville vs. Mustafa Ali

Non-title. Ali snaps off a running hurricanrana but it’s too early for the inverted 450. Instead Neville loads up a reverse belly to back superplex, only to have Ali land on his feet. The running tornado DDT plants Neville for two but he shoves Ali off the top for a crash. Ali’s head hits the barricade so Neville stomps away and tosses him into the air for the crash. For some reason Ali tries another rolling neckbreaker and eats a heck of a clothesline. The Rings of Saturn makes Ali tap at 6:20.

Rating: D+. The cruiserweights manage to kill another little piece of my soul. The matches are usually good but the show feels like it’s coming to a grinding halt whenever they show up. The 205 Live stuff is better but the matches here range from long to not interesting and that’s not good when they happen twice a week most of the time.

Bray Wyatt is in the desert and talks about people worshiping the sun. It’s been less than 100 days since Wrestlemania and things have been chaos ever since. The Beast has been made a mortal and there’s no stopping Bray now. On Sunday, Rollins will learn what it’s like to burn in the sun. This was as rambling of an interview as Bray has ever given and I have almost no idea what the point was supposed to be.

Bliss is leaving and says she let Sasha beat her as a strategy for Sunday.

Finn Balor vs. Cesaro

The Hardys jump in on commentary as part of a continuing trend tonight. Cesaro powers Balor up and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take over. Some chops in the corner rock Cesaro but Balor gets thrown to the floor in a heap as we take a break. Back with Finn getting two off a sunset flip but Cesaro muscles him up with a gutwrench suplex.

Finn fights back and kicks Cesaro away, only to have Elias Samson come out for a distraction. Swiss Death gives Cesaro two and another uppercut rocks Finn. It doesn’t rock him enough though as Finn kicks him off the apron. Samson breaks up a dive so the Hardys get off commentary to brawl with Samson and Sheamus. Finn dives onto everyone and we hit various finishers until Balor throws Cesaro back inside for the Coup de Grace and the pin at 15:05.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but Cesaro and Sheamus have become a black hole of charisma and the Hardys aren’t exactly helping things. At the same time the tag division continues to die, American Alpha continues to sit in the black hole underneath Smackdown and the Revival was on Main Event last week and will be again this week. Just throwing that out there.

We run down the pay per view card. “Order now and get two pay per views for FREE” is the best pitch they could have for the Network.

Here’s an ambulance plus Braun Strowman to talk about how much he loves to hurt Roman Reigns. Titus O’Neil comes out to introduce Crews for the slaughter.

Apollo Crews vs. Braun Strowman

Crews does what he can to start but is quickly thrown outside as soon as Strowman gets his hands on him. We hit the neck crank before Crews is sent outside again. Titus fires him up enough that two enziguris stagger Strowman. The standing moonsault is broken up with Strowman kicking Apollo across the ring in an awesome block. Three straight powerslams finally put Crews away at 4:13.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash and that’s all it needed to be. Strowman is gearing up for the second biggest match at Sunday’s pay per view and it makes sense to have him squash someone. At least it was someone fresh and not the same stuff we’ve seen a dozen times.

Post match Titus tries to save Apollo from a worse beating but takes one himself. Apollo gets thrown into the ambulance but it won’t drive away. Of course Reigns is the driver (Thanks for having Crews’ back earlier you jerk) and he spears Strowman off the stage. Strowman is on his feet before the show is over.

Overall Rating: D+. Tonight felt like one of the longest shows I can remember in a good while. Parts of it were good and they’ve actually done a solid job of building up what should have been a nothing pay per view. Lesnar vs. Joe looks like a blast and I’m sure the ambulance match will be fun too. The problem here was the wrestling, which really didn’t do much for me and added even less to the show. It wasn’t the worst show in the world but it needed a good match in there to help carry things.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss/Nia Jax – Bank Statement to Bliss

Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar – Lumbar Check

Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale

Seth Rollins b. Curt Hawkins – Windup jumping knee

Neville b. Mustafa Ali – Rings of Saturn

Finn Balor b. Cesaro – Coup de Grace

Braun Strowman b. Apollo Crews – Powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

New Japan G1 Special in USA Night One
Date: July 1, 2017
Location: Long Beach Convention and Entertainment Center, Long Beach, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Josh Barnett

This has the potential to be either a major moment in history or something that won’t be remembered in a few years. New Japan has been the favorite promotion of a lot of wrestling fans in recent years and now they’ve come to America on their own instead of co-promoting with someone like Ring of Honor. This is the first of a two night event, the latter of which will air six days from now. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks back at the history of the company (not exactly in depth) and the build tot he show. This includes a variety of big matches over both nights and how important it is for the competitors in a tournament for the inaugural IWGP United States Title.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Michael Elgin

Kenny Omega

Jay Lethal

Hangman Page

Juice Robinson

Zack Sabre Jr.

Tomohiro Ishii

Tetsuya Naito

We look at the tale of the tape for the World Title match between Kazuchika Okada and Cody Rhodes.

We get some pre-show ceremonies with the announcers talking over both the Japanese announcements and the English translations. This goes on for several minutes with the announcers talking about the tournament and making some predictions. If nothing else it’s VERY weird to hear the term “belt” so many times.

Roppongi Vice/Will Ospreay/Briscoe Brothers vs. Young Bucks/Marty Scurll/Yujiro Takahashi/Bad Luck Fale

Chaos vs. Bullet Club, again. Ospreay and Scurll start things off because…..well who else was going to? Scurll flips away from him a few times and does the bird wings thing a few times. Ospreay sends him outside and apparently we’re under lucha rules (never mentioned by commentary) so it’s off to the Briscoes to dropkick Fale down. Takahashi gets caught in between the Brothers, who JR has confused.

Mark hits his running Blockbuster off the apron and it’s off to Roppongi Vice vs. the Bucks (And for once it’s not something that you would know if you were watching New Japan because this is actually New Japan!). Vice takes over without much effort but there are the superkicks. Marty adds one from the apron and busts out the umbrella, allowing the Bucks to dive onto the Briscoes.

Ospreay kicks Scurll to the floor and there’s the BIG springboard shooting star to take out the pile. Back in and Scurll breaks Mark’s finger but the wild dancing and shouting CHICKENWING somehow tips Mark off about what to expect. Now it’s Romero coming in to clean house….until a superkick cuts him off. In case that’s not enough for you, Jay gets in a little comeback and eats a superkick as well.

Ospreay grabs a C4 on Scurll and it’s back to Romero for the clotheslines in the corner. The clotheslines have no effect on Fale (duh) and he keeps walking forward despite Osprey hitting clothesline after clothesline for a cool visual. Fale shrugs it off and Razors Edges Romero onto the pile, though it knocks out some partners as well. The Briscoes drop Fale but it’s the Bucks coming right back in to take over. The Meltzer driver is broken up and Romero rolls Matt up for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: B. Not the highest quality match but it was entertaining and fast paced, making it the perfect choice for an opener. This also helps set up Vice vs. Bucks for the Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles tomorrow night, which is almost always a good idea. I’m still not sure why Chaos and the Club are feuding but they’ve long since reached the point where they just are feuding so it’s kind of hard to really complain anymore.

Los Ingobernables de Japon vs. Titan/Dragon Lee/Volador Jr./Jushin Thunder Liger

That would be Sanada/Bushi/Evil/Hiromu Takahashi, the first three of whom are the Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Champions. The first three of their opponents are all from CMLL. If nothing else it’s cool to hear Liger’s music on TV. Finally, Titan is pronounced Tee-Tan as something that is likely lost in translation. Volador headscissors Bushi to the floor to start and it’s off to Liger for a very nice reception.

Sanada comes in as well as we hear about JR seeing Liger facing Brian Pillman back in 1992. That’s when Liger had been around NINE YEARS already, meaning he’s now a thirty three year veteran. I really don’t know what to say to that but it’s rather impressive. Los Ingobernables sneak in from behind and clean house, knocking all of the villains to the floor. Sanada ties Titan up (ala Jack Gallagher) and hits a running dropkick, which isn’t treated like a comedy spot as it would be over here.

Liger gets in a palm strike and makes the tag to Lee for a BIG chop off with Takahashi. The CMLL team hits double flip dives, leaving Lee to kick Takahashi in the face. Titan hand walks away and spins into a headscissors, only making himself dizzy in the process. That’s some awful luck, or mal suerte to him. Titan gets triple dropkicked for two and Takahashi grabs the referee, allowing Evil to chair Titan down. The Time Bomb is good for the pin on Titan at 6:47.

Rating: D+. Nowhere near as good as the previous match here but the time didn’t help things. This is another good example of a match that was helped by commentary as they were explaining why these factions were feuding, which mainly took place in Mexico. I don’t need anything detailed as just telling me they’ve fought before and it was here or there helps quite a bit. The action was fun and while I didn’t know some of the guys, it was entertaining enough.

IWGP United States Title Tournament First Round: Jay Lethal vs. Hangman Page

The belt is big and rather ugly. Lethal has bad ribs coming in thanks to Silas Young and Beer City Bruiser. Page jumps him at the bell but Lethal is right back up with a suicide dive (not “drive” Josh). They head inside with Lethal missing a moonsault and getting kicked in the bad ribs. Well at least Page isn’t doing anything stupid. As I say that, he hits a shooting star shoulder off the apron in what is the best example of an unnecessary flip I’ve seen in a good while.

Back in and Lethal kicks him in the ribs but it’s WAY too early for the Lethal Injection. Instead it’s something like an Octopus Hold until Lethal escapes for some kicks to the head. Jay hits his top rope elbow but hurts the ribs again, allowing Page to get up at two. The front flip clothesline gives Page two but he gets caught in the Lethal Combination. The Lethal Injection almost completely misses though and both guys are down. I’m not sure why Page is but that’s not the biggest deal. Lethal kicks him in the head again and NOW the Injection connects full on for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C-. This felt really off and almost like a highlight reel or clipped version of a much longer match. Lethal and Page are two of the ROH guys I like more than usual and you would expect better chemistry between them. Maybe it’s the injured ribs but I’m not sure if that’s enough to excuse the blown spots and general lack of flow to the match. They just weren’t on the same page and it felt like they were wrestling two very different matches.

IWGP United States Title Tournament First Round: Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Juice Robinson

JR thinks Sabre is Ospreay. Eh I’ve gotten them confused before too. The fans are already singing for Sabre, making me think they’re all evil foreigners. Well maybe save for those chanting for Juice. After a brief feeling out process to start, Sabre wastes no time in going after the arm with a variety of holds that I can’t even begin to name.

Robinson escapes the third straight hold (all of which looked like they should have broken the arm), eventually getting Zack up in a fireman’s carry for a gutbuster. Zack rolls him up for two and it’s time to kick at the arm a few more times. Robinson tells him to bring it on so Zack kicks away.

Something like a triangle choke has Robinson in more trouble but he powerbombs his way to freedom (AMERICAN freedom that is). Back up and Robinson tries an Unprettier but gets reversed into an Octopus Hold with the arm being cranked at a CRAZY angle. The other arm is pulled back as well until it’s a full nelson with Zack’s leg between Robinson’s arms (I told you his holds were hard to call) for the tap at 10:06.

Rating: C+. Sabre is an interesting guy as he’s the best technician I’ve seen since Daniel Bryan (if not before) and that makes for some very fun matches. That being said, he’s also so dominant that it’s hard to imagine him losing, which makes things a bit worse. Now that being said, if there’s ever a time for him to lose, it’s in a tournament. Robinson continues to show WAY more upside than he did in NXT so maybe it just wasn’t a good fit down there. I’ve liked enough of what I’ve seen from him so far outside of Orlando so there seems to be potential there.

David Finlay/Jay White/Kushida/Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Sho Tanaka/Yohei Komatsu/Yoshi Hashi/Billy Gunn

Yes THAT Billy Gunn and yes he’s challenging THAT Hiroshi Tanahashi for the Intercontinental Title. Kushida gets quite the reception and it’s time for the eight way staredown to start. Yohei and Kushida start things off with Kushida easily taking him down and offering a SUCK IT to Gunn. Finlay comes in to dropkick Tanaka but the ring is quickly cleared, leaving Sho to dropkick Kushida in the back.

Sho grabs a bodyscissors before it’s off to Gunn for one of the louder reactions of the night. A quick crotch chop sets up a staredown with Tanahashi before it’s back to Sho to do the majority of the work. Kushida fights them off because the Tempura Boyz Tanaka and Komatsu don’t seem all that great. Tanahashi comes in off the hot tag and forearms Gunn down with his bad arm.

Gunn completely fails to catch him off a crossbody throws in a SUCK IT, and goes down off his half of a double clothesline. White comes in to grab a suplex on Tatsu but gets caught with a spinwheel kick. A suplex into the corner drops Tatsu and everything breaks down. Tanahashi hits the Sling Blade on Gunn and it’s White left in the ring for a Flatliner to put Tatsu away at 9:43.

Rating: D. This match has the one obvious question: why in the name of tree bark is Gunn getting the title shot? Star power? That’s not exactly something this show is lacking and I have a really hard time believing that New Japan would have issues getting someone better in the ring and with more star power than Gunn to challenge Tanahashi. Throw Gunn into the tournament and let one of the people from there (Page maybe) have the shot instead. It really doesn’t look good otherwise and the match could be a major mess, especially when you consider what Tanahashi is capable of.

A long celebration takes us to intermission, which features a look at the main event, a look at the Tag Team Title match and a recap of the night’s matches so far. This runs just under twenty minutes.

Tag Team Titles: War Machine vs. Guerillas of Destiny

War Machine is challenging in a rematch from Dominion where they lost the belts. JR says War Machine are SEVEN TIME ROH Tag Team Champions, which makes me think one of two things: JR is drunk or he looked at their Wikipedia page, saw that they had seven successful title defenses in their ONE reign with the titles, and didn’t bother checking what he was reading.

Before the match, Ray Rowe wants to make it a No DQ match and it’s immediately on. The four of them head outside without wasting a second with the champs getting more fired up every time they take a shot to the face. JR goes into a weird rambling speech about having nothing to say, followed by Barnett taking over with play by play. Did he drop his notes there or something? A trashcan shot stops Rowe’s suicide dive and the champs work him over in the ring.

Rowe takes a neckbreaker and splash for two but Hanson remembers that he’s in the match and makes the save. About fifteen straight running clotheslines in the corner crush the champs again, prompting JR to talk about…..Hanson’s beard? The Bronco Buster misses though and it’s time for the big slugout with War Machine throwing Tama around until Loa powerslams Hanson out of the air. A Swan Dive into a frog splash gets two on Rowe but Hanson is back in.

Fallout is loaded up but here’s fellow Bullet Club member Chase Owens to take out Hanson with a chair. JR sounds rather annoyed about the lack of disqualifications, which isn’t exactly like him. Rowe gets powerbombed through two chairs (Can Hanson just not take a big bump tonight?) but Hanson is here to save Rowe from going through a table. Fallout through the table ends Loa to give us new champions at 11:07.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need four strong guys to beat the heck out of each other for a little over ten minutes. War Machine is a fun team and the Guerillas are the kind of team who can be right back due to pure charisma. A good power brawl is hard to come by and I had fun watching them beating on each other. Entertaining match and a nice change of pace to a lot of the other stuff on here.

IWGP United States Title Tournament First Round: Tetsuya Naito vs. Tomohiro Ishii

Naito jumps him from behind during the entrances, setting up the charge into the pose on the mat for a VERY strong reaction. After we hit the stall button to start, Ishii hammers Naito like he stole something, including the loud chops. Naito thinks it’s a good idea to chop a guy named the Stone Pitbull (who I didn’t realize was shorter than Naito), earning himself another beating.

Back up and Naito tries again for the same result. Must be a Ric Flair fan. A hiptoss and running dropkick to the back of the head work a bit better and it’s time to pose. Ishii suplexes him down and blasts Naito with a suplex. A powerslam nearly drops Naito on his head for two but he pops right back up with a missile dropkick for a breather.

Ishii’s suplex is countered into a DDT (always liked that counter) and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. Naito walks around for a good while….and then spits at Ishii. I get that he’s confident but sweet goodness that seems unwise. One heck of a headbutt drops Naito and a powerbomb cuts him in half.

A hard clothesline gives Ishii two more but his brainbuster is countered, eventually into a tornado DDT. Destino is broken up so Naito kicks him in the head again, only to get caught by the sliding lariat. A dragon suplex gives Naito two but it’s a clothesline into the brainbuster to advance Ishii at 15:53.

Rating: B. They had a good story here with Naito being able to hang with Ishii on his own but getting too cocky and showing the lack of respect that a monster like Ishii deserved. It’s a good way to make Ishii a big deal as pinning a former World Champion always will be. I liked this a lot more than the other Ishii matches I’ve seen so it was a nice surprise, though I tend to like Naito matches.

IWGP United States Title Tournament First Round: Michael Elgin vs. Kenny Omega

Omega has the Bucks with him as usual and is playing the full on face here despite still being a heel (officially). They try to get the referee to do Too Sweet but he offers a crotch chop instead. Elgin powers him (Omega, not the referee) into the corner to start before some forearms and kicks earn Kenny a wave of the finger. Kenny still can’t do anything with the monster so Elgin chops him for a change.

The delayed vertical suplex has Kenny reeling but an Elite chant brings him back so he can do the Rise of the Terminator deal (still don’t get it and don’t really care to know). Back in and one heck of a top rope shoulder sends Omega flying across the ring and out to the floor. Omega hits a moonsault from the apron….and Elgin casually catches him because he can.

Kenny slams him onto the apron for a nineteen count and we hit the chinlock to slow things down a bit. Elgin raises his knees to block a middle rope moonsault as JR calls the Bucks very annoying. That might be the understatement of the year. A powerslam pulls Kenny out of the air for a close two (ignore the spitting onto the mat during the cover). Elgin powers him up again but gets caught in a snap dragon suplex to send him outside.

That means a big flip dive followed by a jumping knee to Elgin’s face, only to have one heck of a clothesline take Omega’s head off. They fight to the apron for a hard German suplex to drop Elgin on his head for a scary looking crash. Back in and a super crucifix bomb gives Elgin two more, prompting JR to ask the obvious: if that doesn’t work, what will?

Well nothing more than likely, but you have to be used to some big (and arguably ridiculous) kickouts around here. Three straight jumping knees to the head knock Elgin silly and a package Tombstone gets two. There’s another running knee and the One Winged Angel sends Omega on at 22:36.

Rating: A-. I liked this a bit more than a lot of the Omega matches I’ve seen, mainly because it wasn’t far longer than it really needed to be (and it won’t be called 25% better than the best matches of all time). They had another good story here with Elgin using pure power while Omega was more well rounded and therefore capable of adapting to counter whatever Elgin threw at him. Omega is very good and it’s fun watching him, face/heel issues aside (which is more a company/stable thing than anything else).

Here are tomorrow’s final four:

Jay Lethal

Kenny Omega

Tomohiro Ishii

Zack Sabre Jr.

We recap Cody vs. Kazuchika Okada. It’s a short story with Cody challenging Okada for the title right after Okada’s draw against Omega at Dominion. Okada went with it because….well that’s what wrestlers do.

IWGP World Title: Kazuchika Okada vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and comes out with a bunch of people in ex-President masks. Brandi Rhodes is with him (still absolutely stunning) in an American flag outfit and lights a cigar for him. After a kiss from Brandi (with his right shoulder taped up), we’re ready to go with a slow start, which means this is likely going long. Okada takes him to the mat and then to the ropes where he gives Cody a friendly pat on the chest.

That warrants a break for another kiss, followed by heading back inside for a standoff. They head outside to speed things up with Okada hitting a running dive over the barricade, only to have Cody go after the knee to take over. Cody chokes with his boot but Okada neckbreakers his way out.

Back up and a fast running elbow to the jaw followed by a DDT lets Okada nip up. The signature dropkick knocks Cody off the top and out to the floor in a heap. A DDT on the floor makes things even worse but Okada can’t follow up, meaning it’s a long count. Back in and Cody runs the corner for a super armdrag (looked like a C4 2000 at first) but the Disaster Kick is countered into a flapjack (cool).

There’s the top rope elbow, only to have Cody grab the Trailer Hitch to go back to the knee. The hold is broken and a slap fires Okada up all over again, prompting a mudhole stomping in the corner. The jumping Tombstone and a pair of Rainmakers drop Cody. Cue Omega with a towel like Cody was teasing at Dominion but Brandi says no.

This brings out the Bucks to ask what Omega is doing and Okada nails another dropkick. Naturally Cody hits a Rainmaker of his own for two, followed by Okada grabbing his own Cross Rhodes. So now that we’re back to even with the stolen finishers, Cody gets two more off an inverted DDT. To really mess with his boss, Cody loads up the One Winged Angel, which is quickly reversed into a German suplex. The jumping Tombstone (yes another one) sets up the Rainmaker to retain the title at 27:12.

Rating: B+. I liked the Omega match a bit more but Cody is a bit more of a generic style than Elgin being awesome with the power. Okada is still very smooth in the ring, though I do think he uses his big moves a bit too often. That being said, it was an excellent match with both guys hitting their big spots. Omega vs. Cody could be interesting, assuming it’s not just a swerve for later. Very good main event, even though I didn’t quite buy Cody as the biggest threat to the title.

Post match Okada poses but Omega gets in too. He won’t take the night from Okada, even though he wanted to main event this show. They’ll meet again in the G1 and tonight is Okada’s. Gedo and Okada both say they’re awesome and Okada will make it rain strong style around the world.

At the post show press conference….I have no idea as I don’t speak Japanese.

A highlight reel ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a very good show and that’s the best thing that could have happened. It’s not a masterpiece or a classic but for what was basically a pay per view in front of a small crowd, it worked as well as it could have. They showcased most of their stars and the two major matches were both outstanding. Couple that with this airing at 8pm EST and on free TV, it’s hard to find anything major to complain about. Maybe a little bit could have been cut (as in like 10-15 minutes, or the Tanahashi eight man tag) but the time really wasn’t a problem.

The one thing that needs to be remembered though is this is one match. Based on this, New Japan isn’t going to overtake WWE or become the hottest thing in American wrestling. It’s a very good night but they need to do it again (as in beyond night two) for it to mean much. It’s a very good show though and they’re off to a great start in America. Now build on that and keep it at (or really near for that matter) this level and we’ll see where things go. Strong debut though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

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Slammiversary 2017
Date: July 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Robert Flores, Don West

It’s both a milestone and a farewell as Impact Wrestling is all set to be renamed Global Force Wrestling. While it’s not clear what all that means, tonight is also the anniversary show with a few title unification matches between Impact Wrestling and GFW. Possibly the biggest match on the card though is a battle between announcers. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what you would expect: history is awesome and tonight is a big night.

An owl flies into the arena to land on a Slammiversary logo. Sweet chicken wings with a sauce that’s sweet but not too spicy, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE STUPID OWL!

The bosses of Crash, Noah, AAA and Impact are here for the opener.

Impact Wrestling Tag Team Titles/GFW Tag Team Titles: Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Drago/El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Naomichi Marufuji/Taiji Ishimori vs. LAX

LAX is defending under lucha rules (going to the floor means the same as a tag) and this is one fall to a finish. Santana and Marufuji start things off with Marufuji flipping out of a wristlock but getting kicked in the face. They flip into a standoff and trade chops until Santana charges into a good looking dropkick.

It’s off to Ishimori and Laredo with Taiji bouncing off the ropes over and over for kicks to the head. Laredo hits the floor so Ortiz comes in for a kick of his own as the fans chant for LAX. Ortiz gets two off a Death Valley Driver and everything breaks down. Garza takes off his pants (as is his custom), allowing Drago to springboard in with a dropkick. Drago and Fantasma take over on Santana and then Ishimori but LAX’s manager Diamante gets in a kick of her own so the champs can take over.

A tandem powerbomb gets two on Ishimori and the Street Sweeper is good for two on Drago. Laredo comes off the top with a clothesline to Ortiz while Garza hits a World’s Strongest Slam on Santana for a sweet looking spot. Things settle down with Ortiz heading up top, shoving Laredo and Garza away, and moonsaulting down onto Drago for two with Marufuji making the save.

Diamante tries to interfere again and gets powerbombed onto LAX. Fantasma hits a modified Tombstone for two with Marufuji making a save. Ishimori eats a suicide dive and Homicide adds (and nearly botches) a Gringo Killer on the apron. Drago sends Ishimori to the floor with a tornado DDT and something like a C4 2000 gets two on Santana. Ortiz is back in with a belly to belly superplex and the Street Sweeper retains the titles at 15:22.

Rating: B. That’s a heck of an opener and they were moving WAY too fast to keep track of everything going on out there. This was a great choice to start the show as they just flew all over the place and didn’t bother with stuff like tagging, which they shouldn’t have in something like this match. You book a match like this for the sake of chaos and entertainment, which is what we got.

Joseph Park has good news for Jeremy Borash: tonight’s tag match is No DQ. JB: “WHAT??? YOU’RE GOING TO GET ME KILLED!” Park says don’t worry.

We recap Moose/DeAngelo Williams vs. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake. Basically Moose has been dealing with a two on one deficit and needed some help so he brought in an NFL buddy. Moose also has NFL player Gary Barnidge and NASCAR driver Austin Dillon with him.

Moose/DeAngelo Williams vs. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis

Moose throws Adonis around to start and hits his always good looking dropkick. It’s off to Williams to roll Drake up and grab an armdrag before handing it back to Moose. That’s probably all he should be doing and there’s nothing wrong with that. Moose’s running dropkick in the corner gets two but Adonis gets in a shot from the apron to take over.

That doesn’t last long as Moose fist pumps himself up and brings Williams back in for a one knee Codebreaker and a near fall of his own. Everything breaks down and Moose hits his bicycle kick to set up back to back sentons. Williams is left alone in the ring to kick both villains through the ropes, followed by Moose moonsaulting out to the floor. It’s table time but Adonis and Drake take Moose down and put him on it instead. Drake poses a bit too long though and gets shoved down. Moose tells DeAngelo to do it and a frog splash (!!!) hits Adonis (doesn’t break the table but the splash looked good) for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: B-. That’s on a bit of a sliding scale as Williams is literally brand new at this but DANG. I was legitimately impressed by what he did out there as I was expecting Dennis Rodman’s stuff from WCW (he does like two basic moves and the announcers act like he’s the best thing ever) but he looked like he was an indy level talent at worst. That might be the best celebrity/athlete performance I’ve ever seen and was a very, very pleasant surprise.

Post match Moose powerbombs Drake through the table to make sure everything is covered.

Ethan Carter III is ready to beat up James Storm because he’s the real man Impact needs.

We recap Carter vs. Storm. Carter lost a #1 contenders match earlier this year and blamed Storm, who he whipped 31 times with a strap. Now it’s a strap match with Carter thinking he belongs here because of his name and Storm out for revenge and blood.

James Storm vs. Ethan Carter III

They’re strapped together and you win by pinfall or submission (thank goodness). Storm unloads with right hands to start and there’s the first strap shot. Carter gets dropped hard onto the apron (which is the hardest part of the ring you know) and sent into the barricade but a strap shot takes over again.

Back in and we hit the choke with the strap but Storm isn’t going to take any more. The comeback is on in a hurry but Carter sends him into the corner for a breather. It’s handcuff time with Storm in trouble, only to pull the old switch and get Carter cuffed instead. Storm gets in thirty two lashes (one more than he gave Storm) and NOW the referee unlocks the cuffs. I’m sure Carter is thrilled with the timing.

A 1%er gives Storm two but Carter sends him into the post for a breather. Carter hits the 1%er as well for the same result and that’s not cool. There’s the Last Call but Storm collapses. Carter gives him a lifting sitout Pedigree (Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings) for the pin at 10:45.

Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this one as much as the strap shots weren’t the biggest focus, save for that one time in the corner. Storm collapsing is an interesting angle but I’m worried about where it might be going. Carter winning is the right call as there’s a good chance he’s going to be challenging El Patron soon.

Karen Jarrett and Dutch Mantell can’t find Bruce Prichard.

We recap Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner vs. Joseph Park/Jeremy Borash. Matthews is a loudmouthed announcer who brags about his former career. Borash stood up to him and a tag match was set up. This feud has been going on for about three months now and I absolutely cannot stand the thing. It’s basically been the top story for months now and since the commentators are on the show all the time, it’s talked about throughout the shows.

Jeremy Borash/Joseph Park vs. Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner

No DQ and D’Angelo Dinero joins commentary. Josh starts with Park and flips around a bit, followed by a kick to the head. A crossbody doesn’t work so it’s off to Steiner, who looks to be about 50lbs (of muscle) lighter than he was in his regular career. He’s also wearing a shirt, which he would never do given that his character was built around a great physique. Again, there was NO ONE ELSE on the active roster that could play this role?

Borash hands it right back to Park….and they run to the back for a pre-taped segment. Park and Borash grab a fire extinguisher while Steiner and Matthews are in a golf cart. A car with a random fan (I think he was in one of the Final Deletion segments) shows up so Matthews and Steiner steal that to give chase, but they can’t catch an announcer and an out of shape lawyer on foot.

They finally get out of the car (which had cameras inside) and chase after them with Matthews being backdropped into a pool while Steiner throws Park through a wall. With a camera under the water, the Jaws theme starts playing and Shark Boy shows up to bite Matthews. Steiner leaves Park and here’s Father James Mitchell (Abyss’ old manager) to say happy anniversary.

Back inside (and after an unnecessary cameo from celebrity chef Robert Irvine) and Matthews misses a Swanton. Josh spears him down but here’s Steiner for the save. Matthews grabs a hug which is called a Steiner Recliner, only to have Shark Boy come in for the failed save attempt. Now Steiner puts on the Recliner and we’ve got Abyss to get rid of Scott without much effort. The Black Hole Slam onto the tacks crushes Josh and Borash adds a top rope splash to give Abyss the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C. That was as good as it was going to be and the Shark Boy thing made me chuckle a bit. You knew Abyss was going to be in there at some point and there’s nothing wrong with that as it was the only way they could really go. Steiner could have been any heel here though and that’s not a good thing. Again, it looks like the company has no faith in its roster, which is a very bad sign. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course, but I’m more worried about it continuing until we have a singles match at Bound For Glory. Just let it be over as I don’t think anyone really cared much for this in the first place. Please let it end.

We recap the Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love. The Wolves broke up and Eddie blamed Angelina, but Davey said she just told him to follow his heart. Tonight it’s Full Metal Mayhem (TLC with pins) in what is likely the final fight.

Davey Richards/Angelina Love vs. Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards

Full Metal Mayhem with the heels taking over via some early cheap shots. They waste no time in bringing in the weapons with Alisha trash canning Love down. Back in and the good guys take over with Richards and Love having a trash can being put on top of their heads for a double kendo stick shot.

Eddie powerbombs Alisha onto Davey (Flores: That’s in the wedding vows right?) but Love finds a cup of tacks. The tacks are poured into Eddie’s mouth for a kick to the head (straight out of PWG) but Alisha powerbombs Love through a table. Eddie is right there after here and it’s a powerbomb to put Davey through another table for the pin at 8:53.

Rating: C. And this is why you don’t book back to back hardcore matches. We literally saw tacks used less than twenty minutes ago and while the spot here was more intense, it’s still thumb tacks again. The right team won but my goodness I hope that ends the feud. There’s not much left for Richards and Edwards to do but Bound For Glory is always a possibility. Also what was with the REALLY short run time?

We recap Low Ki vs. Sonjay Dutt. Sonjay finally won the X-Division Title in his native India and Low Ki wants a rematch, which will be 2/3 falls.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki

Low Ki is challenging in a two out of three falls match. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a wristlock. They grab a test of strength with Dutt being taken to the mat but bridging up. A knee to the ribs actually breaks the bridge and we hit a standoff. Dutt takes him down in a waistlock, followed by a tornado DDT.

A moonsault misses and Low Ki dropkicks him into the corner for two. Dutt tries a springboard hurricanrana but Low Ki rolls through for a standing Warrior’s Way and the first fall at 7:26. After a brief break they head outside with Dutt being sent into the barricade. A kick to the knee takes Dutt down on the apron but another Warrior’s Way only hurts Low Ki’s ankle.

The ankle slows things down but OF COURSE he’s playing possum and throws the referee into Dutt. A big springboard kick to the head gives Low Ki two. He tries a top rope Warrior’s Way but only hits the steps, followed by Dutt sending him hard into the barricade. Back in and Low Ki hits a quick Warrior’s Way, only to try a choke instead, allowing Dutt to roll him up for the second fall at 13:26.

Dutt gets kicked down again but Low Ki seems to have hurt his hand. It’s fine enough for the Ki Crusher and two. Dutt goes up but gets dropped face first onto the buckle. Low Ki takes too much time going up though and a backdrop sets up the moonsault double stomp (still a scary looking finisher) to retain Dutt’s title at 18:40.

Rating: B. The ending surprised me but it’s nice to have Dutt get a big win like this to make his reign seem less like a fluke. That and Low Ki losing is always a good thing in my eyes as I’ve never cared for the guy. The moonsault double stomp is still insanely cool looking though and it was a great way to wrap the match up, especially after all the times Low Ki was using the Warrior’s Way.

We recap the Women’s Title match, which is Sienna being polished vs. Rosemary being crazy.

Impact Wrestling Knockouts Title/Global Force Wrestling Women’s Title: Rosemary vs. Sienna

Unification match and Gail Kim is at ringside. Rosemary has an army of freaks with her. Rosemary goes right after her and here are Laurel Van Ness and KM for the nearly immediate distraction. Sienna gets thrown out onto them and orders them to the back, leaving us one on one again.

Back in and Sienna hammers away before grabbing a chinlock. Rosemary gets sent hard into the barricade, only to fight out of a Tree of Woe for a German superplex. That doesn’t do much actually as the Red Wedding is broken up and Sienna gets two off the Silencer. The second Red Wedding attempt connects but here’s Van Ness to pull out the ref.  Allie comes in for the save but the distraction lets Sienna get in a belt shot for two. The mist is blocked and Sienna rubs it in Rosemary’s eyes, setting up a guillotine to make Rosemary tap at 10:03.

Rating: C-. I’m still not sure why these two are fighting or why I should care about the GFW Women’s Title but that’s the case for the entire “promotion” pretty much since its inception. The match was a good brawl but the overbooking really dragged things down. This story has been going on for months now and it doesn’t seem anywhere close to being finished, even though there’s not much left for them to fight over.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett for a chat. He thanks the fans for helping the Jarrett Family over the years. For fifteen years, the fans have supported this company and he wants to say thank you. He’s ready for the main event and says they’ve got a lot to follow. This was short and classy, which is always nice.

We recap the main event with Lashley’s Impact Wrestling World Title vs. Alberto El Patron’s GFW World Title. Alberto beat Lashley earlier in the year but the level of shenanigans caused the match to be overturned. They’ve built this up very well and the videos have helped a lot.

Impact Wrestling World Title/Global Force Wrestling World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Alberto El Patron

Unification match. Lashley has a bunch of MMA fighters with him while Alberto has his father and brother with him. The fighters, save for King Mo, and Alberto’s brother all leave so it’s just Mo and Dos Caras Sr. They hit the mat to start with Alberto kicking at the legs to set up a standoff.

Lashley looks serious and they head outside with Lashley sending Alberto head first into the table five times in a row. Back in and Lashley charges into some raised boots but grabs a neckbreaker. Alberto is back up with a superplex for no cover and they slug it out from their knees. Some right hands in the corner are countered with a powerbomb to give Lashley two.

Lashley is starting to get cocky as he hammers away in the corner but the armbreaker has him in quick trouble. We get the big power up spot with Lashley powerbombing him down for two more. A middle rope Death Valley Driver of all things gives Lashley another near fall and King Mo grabs a chair.

Lashley is content with slapping Alberto in the face, earning himself a kick to the head for two. Dos Caras stares Mo down, leaving Lashley to grab a cross armbreaker. That goes nowhere so a spear gets two, only to have the second spear eat a dropkick. Alberto sends him into the corner and hits the top rope double stomp for the pin and both titles at 19:29.

Rating: B. That’s about what I expected: good, back and forth match with hard hitting action and little to no emotion to the whole thing. I’m assuming their World Title matches are this way by design but it’s never been my favorite style. The World Title matches often feel like they’re contractually obligated instead of personal, which is certainly an option but I could go for more hated/personal issues in the build. Still though, solid match with the right ending.

Alberto celebrates with the roster to end the show. Of note: the logo says GFW Impact Wrestling.

Overall Rating: B. This was actually a heck of a show, which tends to be the case when the company cuts out all the nonsense (and the horrible commentary, which was a MAJOR upgrade tonight) and stupid stuff that they do so often. If nothing else, the matches here were long enough with the wrestlers working hard throughout. I had a good time with the show and while there are definitely issues that need to be fixed, they had a good night tonight to end/begin an old/new era. Call this a very, very pleasant surprise but nothing you need to get used to, given this company’s track record.

Results

LAX b. Naomichi Marufuji/Taiji Ishmori, Drago/El Hijo de Fantasma and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Street Sweeper to Drago

Moose/DeAngelo Williams b. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake – Frog splash to Adonis

Ethan Carter III b. James Storm – Lifting sitout Pedigree

Joseph Park/Jeremy Borash b. Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner – Top rope splash to Matthews

Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards b. Davey Richards/Angelina Love – Powerbomb through a table to Richards

Sonjay Dutt b. Low Ki – Moonsault double stomp

Sienna b. Rosemary – Guillotine

Alberto El Patron b. Lashley – Top rope double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

While mainly being a celebration of the company’s history, this is also the end of an era (or error depending on your take). Following “Slammiversary 2017”, the promotion will officially become Global Force Wrestling, bringing an end to the Impact Wrestling era. I’m not sure how much of a difference that’s going to make but before we get to that discussion, we still have a pay per view to cover so let’s get to it.

Josh Matthews/Scott Steiner vs. Jeremy Borash/Joseph Park

I’m putting this first so we can get it out of the way. Despite it being a match about battling announcers, there’s a real argument to be made about this being the main event of the show. At the very worst, it’s the second biggest match on the card and that’s really pitiful. Why in the world I’m supposed to be interested in announcers fighting over…..whatever it is they’re fighting over in a match where Park is the most active competitor isn’t clear but the company certainly seems to think it’s important.

I’ll take Steiner and Matthews to win here as I actually think they’re going to extend the feud all the way through “Bound For Glory 2017”. The story should have ended a few months ago so it wouldn’t surprise me to see it keep going even longer. The wrestling is going to be bad at best as Steiner hasn’t been an active competitor in years, Park is a comedy character and the other two are announcers. This is the second (at worst) biggest match on the card and one of the biggest matches of the year people. Let that sink in for a minute.

Moose/DeAngelo Williams vs. Chris Adonis/Eli Drake

This is your celebrity match of the show but at least there’s a story built in. Moose has been having issues with Adonis and Drake for weeks now and needed some help dealing with them. Williams is an NFL free agent so he has an athletic background, though there’s a good chance that’s not going to translate into wrestling success.

That being said, it would take WCW levels of stupidity to bring in a celebrity athlete and have them lose. I’m not sure why we’re not having Moose defending the Global Title here as it would make more sense but at least they have something different by having Williams in the match. I’d assume this keeps going as well but Williams is likely just going to be a one off, meaning him losing would make next to no sense.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt(c) vs. Low Ki

Dutt won the title in the highlight of the Indian tapings and now it’s time for Low Ki’s rematch. I’m not a big Low Ki fan whatsoever but Dutt has enough charisma and skill to get by. This is also 2/3 falls, meaning there’s a good chance it’s going to be a long match with both guys winning at least a fall.

I’ll go with Dutt retaining the title as Low Ki never felt like a long term champion. He has way too long of a history of leaving promotions to keep a title on him long term. Dutt might not stick around long either, but putting the title on him in India and then taking it right back in his first defense wouldn’t be the brightest idea in the world. I don’t think he’ll do anything more than set the stage for a top heel to take the title away from him and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Tag Team Titles: LAX(c) vs. Drago/Hijo de Fantasma, Naomichi Marufuji/Taiji Ishimori vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

We continue the trend of each match having a theme with the international match. In this case we have two teams from Mexico, one team that represents the Latino nation and a Japanese contingent. Of the challengers, only Laredo Kid and Garza Jr. have appeared regularly for on “Impact Wrestling” TV so this might not be the most easy to follow match in the world.

LAX should retain here as they’re getting somewhere with the act. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. are a good high flying team but nothing we haven’t seen done better before. The other two teams are likely just one or two shot deals and that wouldn’t mean putting titles on them. Let LAX get a big win under their belts so they can build up to something more in the future, perhaps for the Veterans of War to dethrone them later.

Impact Wrestling Knockouts/Global Force Wrestling Women’s Title: Rosemary (c) vs. Sienna (c)

This is one of two unification matches because this company actually thinks the GFW Titles matter in the slightest. Having this as title for title adds nothing to the match as Sienna could have easily been built up as a regular challenger to Rosemary with the GFW Title really adding nothing whatsoever. It’s a gimmick though and unfortunately that’s often more important than making the most sense.

Due to the merger though, I’ll go with Sienna winning, even though Rosemary has been built up far better. Neither is the most thrilling option in the world but at least you have the possibility of building Allie up to face Sienna for the title at “Bound For Glory 2017”. You could do the same with Allie vs. Rosemary but that wouldn’t pack quite the same punch as Allie challenging Sienna.

Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love

Full Metal Mayhem, which is Impact Wrestling’s version of Tables, Ladders and Chairs. The guys have been feuding for a good while now and the women have added some nice flavor to the story. Alisha isn’t the most experienced but there’s a lot of potential for drama with the husbands protecting their wives from extreme violence.

This show needs a face to win a big match so I’ll go with Eddie and Alisha. Richards and Love have dominated the feud so far and it would make sense to have them lose in the end to even things out a bit. I can always go for some good violence in a match and the Wolves have the ability to beat the heck out of each other like few others can. This should be a lot of fun and that’s something this show needs.

James Storm vs. Ethan Carter III

Strap match. This has been a solid upper midcard feud, though I’m not sure what they were going for with the E Singh III deal in India. As is almost always the case, this one seems to depend on what happens in the main event as you could easily see the winner getting a shot at the World Title in the near future.

Therefore, I’ll take Carter, probably through some major shenanigans. That’s the beauty of a strap match: Storm can get in some solid revenge on Carter but still lose via some sort of cheating in the end. These two should beat the heck out of each other and that’s certainly a good thing, especially given how this feud has gone so far.

Impact Wrestling World Title/Global Force Wrestling World Title: Lashley vs. Alberto El Patron

Another title for title match and I’m not sure if I’m interested in this one or not. Neither of them has what I’d call an interesting character or personality, meaning they need to blow it out of the water with the actual wrestling. The good thing is they’re both more than capable of doing that, but it doesn’t matter if they have too much other stuff weighing them down.

I’ll take El Patron to win and unify the titles as this show is going to need a big moment to end on. El Patron as champion isn’t the best idea in the world but we’ve covered Lashley as the unstoppable (save for those times where he lost the title) champion for far too long now and it’s time to move on to something fresh. The promotion needs something new on top and while El Patron isn’t that guy, he can hold the title until they find that guy.

Overall Thoughts

I’m not the most excited for this show (if that wasn’t clear) and it’s mainly because there’s no single match that really has my interest. There’s going to be good stuff throughout the card and some of the stories should wrap up, but that doesn’t mean the show is going to hold a lot of interest for a good chunk of the audience.

It also doesn’t help that we’re coming up on yet another new era for the company, which seems to be the case far too often anymore. We have roughly three and a half months until “Bound For Glory 2017” and I hope most of these stories wrap up so we can spend that time building to something new instead of spending half of it on fallout. Therefore, a lot of these matches need to wrap up stories instead of extending them, which has been a problem for this company for a long time now. Hopefully the show is a surprise but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 30, 2003
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer to No Way Out and the big story is the return of Hulk Hogan, who showed up last week and punched out Vince McMahon. Other than that we have the far less important story of Brock Lesnar chasing Kurt Angle and the Smackdown World Title. You know, that secondary issue. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Vince vs. Hogan. Stephanie announcing that she had a surprise last week is included, solely for the purpose of getting Stephanie on TV.

Opening sequence.

A-Train vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio tries a 619 as A-Train gets in but settles for a dropkick off the apron before the bell. A spinning crossbody is easily caught and A-Train hammers away, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. Rey gets two off a running dropkick but the Derailer cuts him in half for two.

Cole talks out the referee’s birthday because he’s running out of things to talk about less than three minutes into a match. A full nelson with Rey’s legs wrapped around A-Train’s thighs slows him down until Mysterio spins out and gets a DDT. Not that it matters as A-Train hits the bicycle kick and finishes with the Train Wreck (over the shoulder kneeling backbreaker).

Rating: D. I was hoping that last week’s loss in the tag match was the end of A-Train but we’re just lucky enough to get more of him. I mean….have you seen the size of his head? What I want to know though is why he’d use a move called the Train Wreck when he’s the train. Wouldn’t that be something a bit self destructive?

Paul Heyman says Big Show won’t be facing Big Show tonight because Big Show has the night off.

Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena

Cena cuts a fairly racist rap with almost every Mexican stereotype you can think of. Oh and overweight girls are bad at dodgeball. Eddie slugs him down in the corner and throws Cena outside for some cheating from Chavo. Back in and Cena tosses him into the air for a crash as Tazz compliments his rapping skills. Now it’s Red Dogg getting in a few shots of his own but the fans chant for Eddie anyway. What a double standard.

Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex and a side slam for two each. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Eddie fights up, only to have Red Dogg grab his foot. The distraction completely fails as Chavo shoves Cena off the top, setting up one of the best looking frog splashes I’ve ever seen for the pin.

Rating: C-. You could see things starting to click for Cena and that’s a very good sign. Couple that with Eddie being at his normal level of awesome and there’s almost a guarantee that it was going to be entertaining. Unfortunately they didn’t have the time to do anything and Dogg isn’t as entertaining as Buchanan, who was fun in a stupid goofy kind of way.

Heyman has an idea and flags down newcomer Brian Kendrick to help him out.

Vince comes in to see Stephanie and talk about the Hogan return last week. She turns it into a discussion of Eric Bischoff trying to bring back Steve Austin. Stephanie: “Your nemesis!” I love how Stephanie has to explain Steve Austin’s connection to Vince McMahon himself because A, Vince might not remember or B, the fans might not remember. She goes on to explain that Hogan is in fact a legend and tell Vince how awesome he was during the Monday Night Wars. Since there’s really nothing to say to that, Vince says he has a surprise for later. This has been the latest version of NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS.

Shannon Moore vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Shannon has Matt Hardy, who thinks that Shannon has an iota of Mattitude and was the longest surviving Smackdown superstar in the Rumble, in his corner. During the entrances we hear about Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie in a Rumble rematch…..on Velocity. Thank goodness they finally took the hint on that one. Kidman gets jumped to start but the threat of a right hand sends Shannon bailing to the floor.

The fans chant WE WANT JEFF as Shannon whips Kidman hard into the corner to set up a chinlock. Kidman fights out of the second chinlock and gets in a jumping elbow to the jaw as things speed up. Something like the Sky High gets two but Shannon hits a running Blockbuster from the side. That just earns him an enziguri and the shooting star gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: C. Shannon was showing some aggression here to play up the idea of having more Mattitude and that’s a good sign for him. He’s certainly not the most intimidating guy in the world so having him be more intense can only do good things for him. Moore always had the in-ring abilities but he needs a strong gimmick to get him anywhere.

Post match Matt lays out Kidman, hopefully giving him a challenger for the title. It would be nice for a change.

Here’s Vince for his surprise. He goes on a long and rather good rant about how Hulkamania is dying and he can’t wait to kill it himself. Hogan can talk about the power of Hulkamania all he wants and wear the red and yellow (Vince: “I still don’t get it.”) but the truth is that Hogan is a bloodsucking bottom feeder who is a manipulating businessman. What Hulk doesn’t want you to know is that Vince created Hogan and Hulkamania itself. That gets Vince to No Way Out, where Hogan will be going one on one with the Rock. Speaking of the Rock, here he is…..via satellite of course.

Rock immediately goes a bit heelish by ripping on Green Bay being way too cold for him to show up. The reality is that Rock doesn’t answer to Vince because he belongs to the people. Rock is going to bring the electricity like he brought at Wrestlemania where records were broken. At No Way Out, you’re going to have the biggest star of all time and on the other hand there’s Hulk Hogan.

When they meet again, Hogan is going to Hulk Up and Rock won’t be able to care less. It’s going to be Wrestlemania all over again with Hogan taking a beating, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock was sprinkling the heel attitude throughout the promo but was getting cheered anyway. The key here was he didn’t go full blast with it, meaning he’ll be inching into his new attitude instead. You don’t get that enough and it takes someone as good as Rock to really pull it off.

Bill DeMott vs. Rikishi

It’s the rubber match! Why this warranted a second match, let alone a third, is beyond me. Rikishi grabs a headlock as the announcers talk about the Tough Enough match on Raw. DeMott sends him shoulder first into the post and grabs an abdominal stretch. Does that work when there’s so much gut there to pull on? A slam makes the ribs worse but the moonsault is countered with an electric chair. Rikishi superkicks him down and tries a DDT but DeMott grabs the ropes to send Rikishi crashing down. A cover with DeMott laying on the ropes gives him the pin.

Rating: D-. The ending here made things even worse than they would have been on their own. DeMott is going absolutely nowhere as this heel turn is a disaster so far. Having him beat up the cruiserweights was fine enough but you knew he was done as soon as they started having him trade wins with Rikishi of all people. Thankfully this is pretty much it for DeMott, who would have two more matches on Smackdown for the year while being shunted down to Velocity instead.

Undertaker comes out almost immediately after the match with DeMott bailing. After a break, Undertaker is sitting on the steps, saying this is where he’s supposed to say all the things he’s going to do to Big Show. Forget that though because we need to just shut up and fight. It’s Heyman instead though, reminding us that Show isn’t here tonight. Show has a message for Undertaker though and here’s Kendrick on a kid’s bicycle in a singing telegram outfit.

Undertaker has about as much of this as you would expect but tells Kendrick to do whatever he’s supposed to. Kendrick “sings” something about Big Show never doing something (he wasn’t easy to understand) so Undertaker threatens Heyman. Brian actually asks for a tip…..and gets $100! Undertaker has him sing again and the beating is on in a hurry. Naturally Undertaker takes the money back. Well to be fair Kendrick was off key.

Kurt Angle gives his team a pep talk, even quoting Vince Lombardi but making sure to insult the Green Bay Packers to avoid the face reaction. I would list off what Kurt says but I’m too distracted by how sweet those track suits are. The gist of it: win at any costs.

Video on Brock Lesnar, which is basically just an edited version of his talk from last week.

Sean O’Haire tells us to drink and smoke.

Team Angle vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

The winners get a title shot next week and Angle sits in on commentary. Kurt: “They call me Captain Kurt.” Cole: “How’s Mr. Spock?” Benoit takes over on Haas to start and chops away in the corner. Benjamin comes in for a gutbuster because he’s better than Haas. Shelton misses a charge so it’s off to Edge as the pace picks way up. With his team in trouble, Angle gets up on the apron but gets speared right back down. Why Edge spearing the title doesn’t cause him damage isn’t clear but whatever.

The house cleaning continues with Edge missile dropkicking Benjamin for two and we take a break. Back with Benoit stomping on Benjamin and Edge starting in on Charlie’s shoulder. An armbar cuts off Charlie’s comeback but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Coach Kurt talks Charlie to his feet for a belly to belly though and the Angleites take over.

Shelton starts in on the knee and Charlie works on a leglock. A reverse Figure Four keeps Edge in trouble, much to Edge’s delight. Shelton cannonballs down onto the leg and grabs a regular Figure Four. Benoit comes in and breaks it up by hitting Benjamin in the head, only to have Haas grab a Figure Four of his own.

He’s no Shelton though so Edge gets out and sends him into the corner for the hot tag to Benoit. Chris starts rolling the German suplexes and Swan Dives Shelton for two. The Crossface is broken up and Angle hits Benoit with the title to give Shelton the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. Good stuff here, like it would have been anything else. Team Angle has taken to the ring very smoothly and it makes for some very entertaining matches. I’m glad they went with the regular team instead of another two man combination who teams together when they need to. Kurt cheating to win is the right move here too as it plays off the speech he gave to them earlier.

Overall Rating: D+. Strong main event aside, there’s not enough here to really get excited about. Hogan vs. Rock should be good but watching stuff like A-Train wreck Mysterio and DeMott vs. Rikishi, followed by Undertaker beating up a guy just trying to make a living isn’t exactly thrilling TV. The talking really hurt things this week and there’s only so much that one really good match can do to counter that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It occurred to me that $3.99 is probably a bit too high for an e-book so therefore, all of the 24 e-books I’ve written are now available for $2.99 each (the lowest amount I’m allowed to sell them for).  That will be the case for any I release going forward.

Here’s my Amazon author page with all the options I have available at the moment, including both paperbacks and e-books:

https://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

If you don’t have a Kindle and need a free app to read an e-book on any device, you can find them from Amazon here:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=200783640

KB

Smackdown
Date: September 7, 2007
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is another request as I try (in vain) to clear out that overly large pile. We’re coming up on Unforgiven 2007 meaning Great Khali is Smackdown World Champion with Batista chasing him. Tonight’s main event is Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in an I Quit match as those two were joined at the hip for years. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows Rey Mysterio winning a competition last week to become #1 contender, only to be destroyed by Khali.

Opening sequence, featuring some of the wrestlers turning into comic book style drawings. Couple that with the fist and is there any wonder why Smackdown was considered so much cooler than Raw?

We open with MVP’s VIP Lounge with MVP bragging about being the US Champion and half of the Tag Team Champions with Matt Hardy (which they won last week). He’s so awesome that he’s the host and the guest but he’s also having Matt out here as a bonus. After Matt has to check in with the bouncer, MVP takes credit for the win.

We see a clip of MVP coming in to get the pin after Matt wrestled the entire match, which MVP says makes him the captain. Matt smirks and shows us a clip of his own. After last week’s match, MVP was bragging to his agent when Matt came in and asked what that was. MVP calls it vision so Matt punches him in the jaw. Back live, Matt says he wants a US Title shot but MVP says they have a Tag Team Title defense at Unforgiven against former champions Deuce N Domino. As for tonight though, Matt has a match right now.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce

Matt is in jeans and we’re joined in progress after a break. Deuce fires in some shoulders to the ribs but gets sent into the buckles a few times. A hot shot cuts Matt off as MVP keeps cheering him on. We hit the neck crank for a good while until Matt shrugs off a superplex attempt. The Side Effect gets two but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up and MVP deals with Domino, allowing Matt to grab the Side Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick match here to keep the MVP/Matt story going because the INCREDIBLY long time spent on it just wasn’t enough. There was a good idea behind it but the constant health issues hurt it a lot. At least it gave Matt a spotlight near the top of his singles run, which was quite the welcome development.

Jamie Noble has an AKME (yes AKME) leprechaun trap, which means putting Lucky Charms underneath a box to catch Hornswoggle. Shannon Moore thinks this is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen because Shannon is, you know, smart. They wait on Hornswoggle to make sure the stupidity stretches out even longer.

We look at Rey Mysterio’s debut when he beat Chavo Guerrero, who he faces in an I Quit match tonight. This included Tazz calling it the Six Nineteen (fair enough, just odd to hear).

Kenny Dykstra vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kenny (from the Spirit Squad, now just a cocky prospect) has Victoria as a trainer while Palumbo is a biker with Michelle McCool (who is always better looking than I remember). Cole: “How can you not get into a Chuck Palumbo match???” Chuck starts fast with belly to back suplexes as the announcers try to get over “motorcycle mechanic” as a good gimmick. Dykstra starts in on the arm but gets caught in a powerslam for his efforts. Victoria goes after Chuck’s bike for some reason so Michelle takes care of her, leaving Chuck to hit the Full Throttle (spinning Big Ending) for the pin. This was what you would expect it to be.

Teddy Long is getting married to Krystal Marshall (not around long) in two weeks and gives her a Jagged Edge CD. They’ll be performing at the wedding. Krystal gets a phone call from her mom and leaves so Vickie Guerrero suggests he give the CD to Vince. It’s not funny.

Video on Chavo costing Mysterio the World Title.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Kane/Batista

Rematch from Saturday Night’s Main Event to make sure you remember that the show exists. The World Title looking so small on Khali’s shoulder is always a cool visual. Finlay and Batista get things going with Big Dave actually using a leg trip to take Finlay down. It’s off to some arm cranking, followed by a headlock takeover of all things. A bit of an awkward sequence ends in Finlay taking an atomic drop, followed by a catapult to send him into Khali.

Back from a break with Finlay still in trouble and Kane coming in to what I hope was a canned pop. I’d hate to think that 2007 Kane was really that popular. A suplex gets two as the announcers talk about how mad Kane is. I wouldn’t think someone that angry would be suplexing people but Kane is an odd parakeet. Khali comes in for the big showdown but Finlay low bridges Kane to the floor to take over.

We hit the slow motion offense and, again, that doesn’t make Khali bad. He’s not someone who should be doing flashy stuff so having him do the basics but doing them well is exactly what how he should be going about his matches. Khali kicks Kane in the face and we hit the nerve hold, with Khali’s back to the camera. That looks so foreign today and, contrary to what WWE thinks, it’s really not a big deal as a camera goes over to film it from the other side so we can see the all important face.

Khali breaks out of a chokeslam attempt but takes an enziguri to the elbow (Cole’s words, as enziguri means HEAD kick, therefore meaning it can’t hit the elbow by definition). Finlay pulls Batista to the floor though and the beating continues. The shoulder goes into the post and Runjin Singh gets on the apron so Finlay can use the club. Unfortunately it also allows Batista to spear Finlay down. A double clothesline puts Khali on the floor and a chokeslam ends Finlay.

Rating: C+. Fairly good tag match here with the ending being a bit surprising as Batista didn’t get the hot tag. Kane looked good here and acted like the veteran that he is, much like Finlay. Khali was used in spurts here, which is what should be done with a giant like him. I liked this more than I thought I would, though to be fair that’s not the highest level of accomplishment.

After a good match, it’s back to the Hornswoggle hunt. He gets the cereal and breaks the rope, annoying Moore and Noble. Naturally Hornswoggle has left the belt where the cereal was and tied his own rope, meaning Jamie gets caught in his own trap. Sweet chipmunks on popsicle sticks that made my head hurt.

We look at Rey beating Chavo up at No Mercy 2006 as revenge for costing him the World Title.

Jesse and Festus have arrived and find Noble still in the box. Jesse: “THEY HAVE TALKING BOXES HERE!” Noble is stuck in the box because a professional athlete is incapable of lifting a box off the ground and getting his foot under it or something.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Hornswoggle is defending but there’s no Jamie, meaning he loses by countout.

Noble comes out after the match and chases Hornswoggle, who leaves marbles behind to trip Jamie. I know the line is that Hornswoggle killed the cruiserweights but (if the title wasn’t dead by the time Hornswoggle got it), this is the kind of stuff that ended it for good. This is unfunny nonsense that would amuse a three year old and it’s over a title.

We go back to Raw as Vince is trying to find out the identity of his illegitimate son. Linda threatened to sue him over all of his alleged affairs and the rest of the family wants him to get help. Vince got on his knee and vowed to be a better person but Mr. Kennedy interrupted, flat out saying he’s the son. That would have been on August 27. Three days later, Kennedy was popped for a Wellness Policy violation (along with ten others) and the whole storyline was scrapped, basically ending Kennedy’s time as anything important in the company.

Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven. I’m assuming he died again recently. Or there were a bunch of people popped for steroids and we needed some star power to divert attention.

A druid is in the ring when Mark Henry, the man who injured Undertaker, comes out. The lights go out and the druid disappears as the gong sounds.

We look at Chavo beating Rey Mysterio into knee surgery in their first I Quit match.

Unforgiven rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

I Quit. Chavo has a chair that he calls part of both Mysterio’s past and future. Knee injuries are promised again. The referee takes the chair outside before the bell (no need for that) and Rey comes out slugging (there’s a rare sight). Rey gets choked on the ropes and limps to the floor, only to come back in with the first of likely many hurricanranas. They head outside with a chair duel going to Chavo, who cracks Rey in the ribs.

It’s too early to have an effect though as Mysterio kicks him in the head and scores with some chair shots of his own. Back in and Chavo muscles him over with a German suplex before starting in on the knee with the chair. That just earns him a sitout bulldog onto the chair and a 619 into the chair makes things even worse. A chair to the knee cuts Rey off though and we take a break.

Back with Chavo holding a half crab but not being able to hit a powerbomb onto a pair of chairs. Instead Chavo chairs him in the knee again and puts the chair around his neck for a ram into the post. Rey isn’t done yet (because crushing your neck isn’t enough to end a match) and hits a top rope seated senton to drive Chavo through the chair in a cool visual. The Gory Bomb onto a chair puts Rey down again though but he breaks up the frog splash. A chair to the head ties Chavo in the Tree of Woe and Rey unloads on Chavo’s knee to make Chavo quit.

Rating: B. Rey popping up from a lot of shots to the knee aside, this was all the match needed to be. I don’t think anyone believed Chavo was going to beat Mysterio in a second major match and having Mysterio get the win back, even in the same way Chavo beat him the first time, is the way to go here. Chavo did better than I was expecting here and the match was entertaining, as it needed to be.

Post match here’s Khali to hook Mysterio in the Vice, causing blood to flow from Rey’s mouth. Batista makes the save and Teddy Long adds him to Sunday’s match for the sake of making the title match interesting.

Overall Rating: C+. The first half wasn’t great but after we got around the Hornswoggle nonsense, this was actually a pretty nice show. The big gimmick main event helped and the tag match was a nice way to bridge things along. Smackdown in 2007 was one of those years where they were ignored so much that they were able to put on an entertaining show while the focus was all on Raw. That’s often a good thing and it worked well here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: June 28, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Another week, another four first round Cueto Cup matches. In other words, we might be getting one competitive match this week as the tournament hasn’t exactly been thrilling so far. The good thing though is it has been going by quickly, which is more than you can say for a lot of these things. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a very quick tournament recap, plus looks at Killshot, Dante Fox and Jeremiah Crane.

Catrina tells Mil Muertes to destroy everyone, which he promises to do for her. They kiss and she demands the Cueto Cup. Jeremiah Crane watches from the shadows. You would think the supernatural powers would let them know he’s there.

Cueto Cup First Round: Mil Muertes vs. Veneno

That would be Cortez Castro under a mask as he’s still under cover (literally in this case). Muertes spears him down at the bell and it’s a heck of a stomping early on. The chokeslam and Flatliner send Muertes on at 1:10. Well that worked.

Catrina licks Veneno’s face (er, mask) after the match.

Cueto Cup First Round: Paul London vs. Vibora

London knocks him outside for some palm strikes to the chest but Vibora just stares him down. With that not working, London, I kid you not, holds Kobra Moon hostage with the carrot from his hat. Fans: “SAVE THE CARROT!” They get in for the first time with Vibora throwing London around but getting kicked in the face a few times. Vibora gets sent to the floor for a springboard trust fall but he does the Undertaker situp, only to have the rest of the Rabbit Tribe grab his feet for a countout at 3:54.

Rating: D+. There was a story here with the much younger monster being caught by the pesky and more experienced Rabbit Tribe. The carrot thing was entertaining enough (I have a soft spot for rabbits) and this keeps Vibora looking strong, which could be a good idea going forward.

Cueto Cup First Round: Taya vs. Joey Ryan

Joey does his lollipop schtick and gets kneed in the face for his efforts. Taya throws him back inside by the chest hair but gets superkicked off the apron. Back in and Joey takes too much time going up (with Striker saying this isn’t going to work) and gets slammed right back down. Taya misses a charge in the corner so Joey can give her a bit of a spank. That doesn’t go well as Joey gets suplexed and double stomped to give Taya the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D. Joey is rapidly losing the limited charm he had for me so far as the whole cop thing seems to have been forgotten at the moment. I’m sure they’ll get back to the point later on but for now, he’s just Joey Ryan doing the same stuff he does most of the time, just without the Ironman Heavymetalweight Title.

Jeremiah Crane beats up the suit clad Mil Muertes and seems to Pillmanize his neck because “she’s his”.

Wrestlers give their thoughts on John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio. These videos have been VERY good ideas and it’s made the match feel like the biggest match the promotion has ever had.

Cueto Cup First Round: Jeremiah Crane vs. Killshot

Crane charges into a kick to the head to send him outside for a tumbling flip dive as they’re certainly starting fast. Killshot stays with it and hits a flip dive off the low balcony before hitting Crane in the face. That’s fine with Crane who whips him into the metal wall and grabs an exploder suplex on the floor.

A run around the ring builds up enough momentum for a cannonball through Killshot through some chairs in a sick sounding crash. They change pace by going inside where Killshot kicks him in the face for two. Killshot flips up into a cutter for two but gets caught in a brainbuster for the same. They trade the very loud strikes until both guys are knocked silly on the mat.

For some reason Crane spits in his face, earning himself a DDT out of the corner. With nothing else working, Killshot hits a Death Valley Driver on the apron, immediately followed by the top rope double stomp…for two? Cue Dante Fox for a distraction though, allowing Crane to hit Cranial Contusion (a Jay Driller) for the pin at 13:04.

Rating: B. That’s the match of the tournament so far and the match the tournament needed. So far most of them have been either squash matches or rather boring but these two were beating the heck out of each other and putting in the effort. In other words, it was something very entertaining and that’s a good sign.

Post match Catrina comes out to look at Crane, who blows her a kiss.

Dario Cueto is in his office and freaking out over the brackets so far. There’s a match spot to face Son of Havoc but luckily Dario has someone here to take the match. That would be….Son of Madness, who looks EXACTLY like Son of Havoc and says he’s from the open road. Dario is cool with this because he’s kind of an out there guy.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helped this one a lot as Lucha Underground has gone a few weeks without an especially good match. Thankfully the first round of the tournament wraps up next week and we have something curious to end this week’s show. It’s not a great show by any means but it’s better than what we’ve been seeing lately.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

It’s time to start the long term build towards Summerslam and barring a major surprise, that’s going to be Bret vs. Owen Hart for the title. With Owen winning the King of the Ring so recently, there’s no reason to go with anything else. Other than that, Ted DiBiase is trying to lure Lex Luger to the dark side. Oh please. Like Luger would EVER turn all of a sudden with little warning. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s King’s Court with Jerry Lawler attacking Duke Droese with a trashcan, which they actually don’t show here in a nice bit of living up to their word of not showing it again.

Droese is ready to follow up on whatever the WWF decides to do to him.

Lawler goes on a rant about how it was Droese’s fault until a producer reminds him why he’s here. He gives a rather forced apology but asks for a fine instead. He finally apologizes while looking like a four year old being told to take medicine. Apparently this was more legit than you would think as the trashcan spot was improvised and USA was REALLY mad. How in the world did they survive the Attitude Era?

Mabel vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow forearms him down and actually gets a snapmare to put the bigger man down. Mabel gets up and stares at him before kicking Bigelow in the face. The legdrop to the back of the head draws Luna to the apron but Bigelow sends Mabel into the ropes, sending Luna crashing to the floor. A big crash knocks Mabel down again so Bigelow goes out to chase Oscar off, setting up the big brawl on the floor. Mabel drops Bigelow and beats the count for the win.

Rating: F+. That was supposed to be the big draw of the show. The very short length helped but my goodness is this really the best thing they could do? Mabel would somehow get much worse as he was pushed even harder and harder in the upcoming months, which somehow led to him headlining Summerslam about thirteen months later.

Bigelow and Luna argue until DiBiase comes out to recruit Bam Bam.

We go to two weeks ago where DiBiase introduced the “original” Undertaker, meaning Brian Lee (who was notably shorter) in Undertaker gear. One very nice touch here is the voice is the real Undertaker in a pre-recorded bit to add some realism. You know, to the zombie wrestler.

Buy the King of the Ring encore!

IRS vs. Rich Myers

On the way to the ring, IRS says it’s not his job to pay for your healthcare so pay your taxes. An early abdominal stretch sets up a suplex and we hit the chinlock. I’m going to assume you know who did the moves to whom. IRS’ STF (the Penalty) finishes Myers in a hurry.

It’s King’s Court time with Lawler talking about the Hart Foundation and bringing out Jim Neidhart as the founder of the team. Lawler thinks Bret should have been thanking Neidhart over and over for all the times he saved Bret’s career. Neidhart says Bret has called him for advice many times over the years but after all those times he won the “Belt. Championship. Title.”, Neidhart never got a thing. Then it was time to face Diesel and Bret called him again. Gorilla: “THAT’S A LIE!” Neidhart did what he did so Owen could become the champion as he deserves to be.

This brings out Owen in full on King attire, which looks so goofy in a 90s kind of way. Owen loves all this attention and you can feel the inferiority complex here for a good bit of storytelling. Neidhart is the only family member he can trust (Monsoon and Savage talk over the promo AGAIN, confirming that the two of them are brothers-in-law.) and he’s going to help Owen win the WWF World Title. Owen has done everything he’s said he’d do and now he wants Bret’s title. Savage and Monsoon really dragged this down as they probably talked over Owen and Neidhart five or six times.

Headshrinkers vs. Executioners

Non-title. Fatu and Agony (as it says on his tights) start things off with the Executioner getting powerslammed early on. A double noggin knocker makes things worse for the masked men (Savage: “I used to use a single noggin knocker!”) and the squash is strong with this one.

Fatu gets two more off a clothesline as Gorilla talks about his network of backstage sources: the Gorilla Vine. A middle rope DDT (picture someone going to the middle rope for right hands but Fatu DDTed him backwards instead) gets no cover as we hear about DiBiase doing something backstage. The double faceplant sets up the Superfly Splash to end Agony.

Rating: D. This is a good example of how the commentators can use a squash to help build a match. Savage was hyping up the Headshrinkers but it turned into a discussion of how good the Heavenly Bodies were. You have two talented teams and the announcers weren’t sure who would win. Let’s have a match and find out. That’s how you build a match but for some reason that ended somewhere along the line.

DiBiase is talking to Bigelow but gets annoyed upon seeing the camera.

Kwang vs. Mike Moraldo

A big boot drops the jobber but he ducks the mist. The squashing continues as Savage reads the ad for the upcoming USA movie. No that doesn’t mean anything but it’s not like I have anything else to talk about in a match like this. The spinwheel kick in the corner (which Kwang would do almost every time as Savio Vega) and another kick are good for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another spinwheel kick finishes Moraldo.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here of course, save for the good looking spinning kicks. Well that and the snickering at all the usage of the word Kwang, which sounds like another word for….I think you get the joke. Kwang was your run of the mill martial arts guy and that’s the kind of gimmick you can always have in wrestling for a low level gimmick.

New Generation ad.

Lex Luger vs. Mike Bell

Luger shoves him around and misses a shoulder that Mike sells anyway. DiBiase comes out to watch as Luger gets two off a rollup and a clothesline (barely made contact) before finishing with the Rack.

ORDER THE REPLAY!

DiBiase has signed Bigelow and says Luger is next to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Really bad way to end the month with a horrible show. This was a bunch of squashes and almost no angles, save for the obvious Owen challenge to Bret. DiBiase buying people up for his stable has potential but it’s not like the Million Dollar Team is all that interesting in the first place. Bad show, but what else are you expecting from June 1994?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

It’s the night after King of the Ring and that means Owen Hart is the top heel in the promotion, which he kind of was coming into the pay per view. If nothing else we should have a main event set up for Summerslam now, with Owen challenging his brother Bret, who retained against Diesel. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Special moment here: the debut of the SPANISH announce team, though we don’t see their more famous table.

Diesel vs. Mark Thomas

Non-title. Thomas is absolutely jacked, to the point where I’m surprised they didn’t give him another look. Actually I’m not as this is during the middle of the STEROIDS TRIAL and this is the best jobber they can find. Thomas shrugs off a ram into the buckle as we talk about Jim Neidhart (which may never again be uttered in a discussion of Raw). We look at the commentary team and THERE’S THE TABLE!!! A knock to the floor has Thomas rocked and there’s the side slam back inside. Snake Eyes set up a neck crank, followed by the Jackknife for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to get Diesel back on track, even though he won the match last night. He’s still the Intercontinental Champion and while that’s hardly remembered, it was a major point in his ascension to the top of the company. I still want to know why this jobber never got at least a look. Teach him almost anything and the look will carry the rest.

The King of the Ring Report recaps most of the show. That’s not the way I would push the encore but you can’t question the WWF’s business sense in 1994.

The announcers push the encore and you can see Savage high fiving fans behind him. That’s just cool.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff

The winner gets a shot at Bret on July 11. Volkoff is part of the Million Dollar Team, meaning his (huge) gear says Property of the Million Dollar Man. Nikolai shoves him around a few times to start so Kid grabs a headlock for as much impact as you would expect. A choke takes Kid down and Volkoff stomps away, followed by a butterfly suplex as we flash back to the 70s. The gorilla press backbreaker gets two more but Volkoff pulls him up like a schnook. Kid tweaks his knee coming out of the corner but it’s just a fake, setting up a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. The Kid was getting a lot better around this point but there’s only so much you can do against Volkoff and his ancient offense. It also doesn’t help when you’re supposed to believe that Volkoff is going to get a WWF World Title shot in 1994. Not a good match but again, why in the world was Volkoff in this spot?

Kid gets beaten down even more until Virgil of all people (He still had a job in 1994???) makes the save. That goes nowhere so Lex Luger makes the real save.

Next week: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel! Thanks for the warning.

Yokozuna vs. Nick Barbery

Forearms and stomps to the back, chops, choking, big fat leg for the pin. The big story from the announcers: TYPHOON is coming to face Yokozuna. Again, thanks for the warning.

Typhoon vs. Black Phantom

Typhoon is billed from Norfolk, Virginia, which I never remember hearing otherwise. He runs into Yokozuna in the aisle and smacks him upside the head. Typhoon uses the big fat offense as Savage realizes that he’s doing commentary with Monsoon instead of Vince. The Phantom hammers away in the corner and looks quite good doing it, to the point where he probably should get a job. Actually he would as that would be the future Gangrel. A suplex and splash put the Phantom away with no effort.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler wearing sunglasses. He rants about Piper bringing the (male) kid into the match, who Lawler claims was Piper’s daughter. Tonight’s guest is Duke the Dumpster Droese, the wrestling garbageman. Duke can’t get in the ring due to his stench though so Lawler makes Ace Ventura jokes. Droese says he doesn’t want to talk to a piece of garbage like Lawler so he walks out, only to have Lawler beat him with a garbage can.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Jim Powers/Russ Greenberg

Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and I could go with hearing him talk to Savage for years. Powers knees Del Ray down as we hear about the Bodies getting a Tag Team Title shot against the Headshrinkers. Prichard comes in and gets shouldered down as Cornette rants about Vanna White and dinosaurs. The Spanish commentary starts bleeding through, sending Cornette into one of his patented frenzied rants. Del Ray superkicks Russ, setting up an elevated DDT. Cornette says the Bodies are cockroaches and Del Ray mostly misses a moonsault press (cracking his pelvis in the process) for the pin.

Rating: D+. The Bodies are actually a really underrated tag team (I blame the hair) and it’s a shame that they never did much after Smoky Mountain went under. They had good looks and a solid enough gimmick to make it work, plus Cornette running his mouth like only he could. Check out their Smoky Mountain feud if you want to see just how good they could be.

Gorilla apologizes for the trashcan and says you’ll NEVER see that again.

Summerslam ad.

DiBiase has his eye on Luger and suggests he join the Million Dollar Team to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Some really bad wrestling this week but sweet tuna melts on toast with papaya on the side Bret vs. the Kid could tear the house down. This was the fallout show from the pay per view so there’s only so much you can get out of it. The bigger problem though is this was such a weak time for the company that outside of a few stories, it’s absolutely not worth watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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