As you probably know, I write news stories for Wrestlingrumors.net (check them out if you haven’t already). Yesterday I put up a story about Titus O’Neil’s TED Talk, which was posted online. The Tweet that Wrestlingrumors put out with my article in it was liked by Titus and quoted/commented on by Randy Orton.
Awesome message @TitusONeilWWE https://t.co/JDqi8B0p5Q
— Randy Orton (@RandyOrton) June 25, 2017
That’s a new one and a rather cool feeling.
Dominion 6:11
Date: June 11, 2017
Location: Osaka-Jo Hall, Osaka, Japan
Attendance: 11,756
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Don Callis
So I’ve been trying to mix things up a bit with my style and this has been a requested show. Somehow having something up ten days late is a good sign for me, though given that I hadn’t planned on watching the show until about a week after it aired, this might not be too bad. The main event here is Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada II in a rematch from their non-six star match at Wrestle Kingdom XI. Let’s get to it.
As usual, keep in mind that I only watch a little bit of New Japan every year so I’m not going to know all of the details coming in. This is much more of an outsider’s perspective, though I do keep up with the company to a certain degree.
Pre-Show: David Finlay/Shota Umino/Tomoyuki Oka vs. Hirai Kawato/Katsuya Kitamura/Tetsuhiro Yagi
These are Young Lions, meaning…..well I think you can tell by the name. Finlay (who isn’t a Young Lion) is the only name I recognize so this could be quite the mess. Yagi and Shota strike it out to start and WHY ARE THEY ALL WEARING BLACK TRUNKS??? Come on it’s already hard enough to keep track of who is who in the first place (yes I’m aware it’s probably something like they have to earn their individuality or something) and now this.
It’s off to Finlay (thank goodness for the red trunks) vs. Kawato with the latter hitting a missile dropkick for two. Oka comes in for a slam and we hit something like a choke. Oka and Kitamura, the big power guys trade shoulder blocks, with both guys reeling back in pain for a nice touch.
Kitamura gets in a spear and gutwrench suplex but a chop puts him down for two. The tag brings in Finlay to get beaten up by….I think Kawato? Would a name on the trunks really be that much to ask? Finlay gets triple teamed and caught in a Boston crab but everything breaks down on the save. An uppercut gives Finlay two on Kawato and a Stunner is enough to put him away at 7:41.
Rating: C-. Totally watchable match here, assuming you don’t mind the lack of characters or needing picture ID’s to tell everyone apart. Then again it’s just a pre-show match so I don’t think they’re going for anything mind blowing here. Worry not though as you can feel the main event being over rated from here so I think the mind blowing part is going to be well covered.
Before we wrap up the pre-show, Callis promises seven stars in the main event. Unless Trent Seven is involved, let it go already.
As is tradition, the opening video goes on for the better part of a Ken Burns documentary and shows all the people in the major matches without a word of English to be found. That’s not meant as a criticism as this is primarily for the Japanese audience and the English commentary is usually quite good at explaining the basics.
Tiger Mask/Tiger Mask W/Togi Makabe/Yuji Nagata vs. Hiroshi Tenzan/Jushin Thunder Liger/Manabu Nakanishi/Satoshi Kojima
At least they’re in different looking gear. Nagata and Nakanishi, the two ancient ones, start things off and I actually checked to make sure I wasn’t watching this at half speed. Nakanishi chops away and refuses to be whipped into the ropes but gets dropkicked in the leg. A spinwheel kick to the head drops Nakanishi and it’s off to Tiger Mask (non-W I believe, meaning the older one) for some kicks.
The younger version comes in to help but Nakanishi is right back with a running chop to the original’s throat. Liger comes in to one heck of a reaction and a tilt-a-whirl slam before it’s off to Kojima. The rapid chops in the corner don’t seem to have much effect but a cutter drops Tiger Mask…..yeah I’m pretty sure it’s the one without the W. A double takedown allows the tag to Nagata (again with no W), who is quickly chopped down by Tenzan.
Yuji grabs a suplex and it’s off to Nakanishi vs. Makabe for the big exchange of power clotheslines. Everything breaks down and it’s a parade of hard shots to the face until Makabe blasts Nakanishi with another clothesline. Makabe’s top rope knee drop (The King Kong knee drop, which should be quite the heel move as I’d bet on this being a GODZILLA crowd. Unless they dislike him destroying their cities all the time, in which case Makabe might be the top star in the company. I’m so confused.) for the pin at 7:04.
Rating: C. I actually liked the first match a bit better but this was still more than good enough. The opening part really was bad though as Nagata vs. Nakanishi really did seem like it was the slowest thing I’ve ever seen. At least you could tell who everyone was here and that’s a major upgrade over the pre-show match.
Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Titles: Gauntlet Match
Los Ingobernables de Japon (Bushi/Evil/Sanada) are defending but it’s Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale/Yujiro Takahashi/Hangman Page) vs. Chaos (Yoshi-Hashi/Toru Yano/Tomohiro Ishii) to start. I’ve been watching New Japan for a few years now and these teams seem to have been feuding the entire time.
Yujiro has a parade of good looking women in various stages of limited clothing with him, making him one of the better parts of the show so far. As usual, Yano has merch to hand out/sell, which is a gimmick that gets a little old but still has enough charm. Page kicks Ishii in the face to start and we hit the forearms that have no effect but wrestlers still do them because of strong style or fighting spirit or whatever they call standing there and growling at the moment.
It’s off to Yujiro vs. Hashi with the former biting the hand. Hashi’s running Blockbuster takes over and the monster Fale runs over the rest of Chaos. Fale and Ishii brawl into the crowd (rare around here) with Bad Luck leaving Ishii down but not doing anything to keep him down because he’s not that bright. Page gets two off a bridging fall away slam (Doesn’t that make it just a fall slam?) and everything breaks down again.
A reverse 3D gets two on Hashi as Fale has gone back outside to beat on Ishii again. Yano gets the hot tag and immediately removes a turnbuckle pad as he starts making me think he’s the Japanese Santino Marella. That earns him a beatdown (Someone not liking a comedy guy? Really?) but his partners come in for the save, including Ishii clotheslining Fale to the floor. Yano is right back with a double low blow on Page and Takahashi for the pin on the latter at 6:01.
Suzuki-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr./Yoshinobu Kanemura/Taichi) are in third with Yano sending Zack into the exposed buckle for two. Kanemura grabs a bottle of whiskey but Yano tries another low blow. That just earns him a very British looking rollup from Sabre for the pin at 8:20 total. Taguchi Japan (Ricochet/Juice Robinson/Ryusuke Taguchi) are in fourth and it’s a triple hip attack to start. It’s funny for some reason you see.
Ricochet and Robinson charge into Sabre in the corner and it’s a baseball joke with Robinson’s cannonball acting as the pitch. I’m really hoping that’s something being lost in translation as it feels like a No Way Jose gag (not the worst thing in the world). Sabre’s partners remember they’re in the match and beat on Taguchi, including a soccer style kick as this is one of the weirdest serious matches I’ve ever seen.
Everything breaks down again with Ricochet and Robinson beating the heck out of Sabre, including an elevated shooting star press for two. The rapid alternating continues as Robinson gets triple teamed. You know if any of these teams ever got on the same page, they’d clean house. A Buzzsaw Kick gets two on Juice…..and Taichi takes off his pants. Kanemura is a proponent of the pants and mists Taichi by mistake (I’m sure).
Pulp Friction (Unprettier) ends Taichi at 15:37. We’re not done yet though as Sabre grabs an Octopus Hold on Robinson during most of Los Ingobernables’ entrance. The champs destroy everyone else as this is already looking one sided. Robinson gets elbowed down and a backsplash gives Evil two. A leg lariat drops Sanada and the hot tag brings in Ricochet to really clean house like only a Kentucky boy can.
Unfortunately he does that stupid spot where he throws two opponents together, forcing one to DDT the other. Ricochet gets clotheslined to the floor so it’s Taguchi with another hip attack. The Tower of Doom puts everyone down again, including Ricochet catching Evil in a sitout powerbomb. Ricochet actually tags Taguchi, who walks right into a Backstabber for two. Everything breaks down again (I’m getting tired of typing that) and it’s Taguchi putting Bushi in an ankle lock. Sanada makes the save with a dragon sleeper though and Bushi adds a middle rope Codebreaker to retain at 23:56.
Rating: C. This was messier than it needed to be and while the last bit was good, it felt like they were just throwing all these people together for the sake of throwing them together. From what I can tell, these titles change hands faster than Impact changes their story about why their audiences never grow. Having this many people in a row wasn’t the best idea but there was some good action to help carry things.
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. Roppongi Vice
The Bucks are challenging and my goodness the amount of praise they get from commentary is unreal. They’re already the Ring of Honor Tag Team Champions and the Superkick Champions because…..I have no idea really. We’re ready to go after the long weapons check and it’s Berreta vs. Matt to start things off.
The first superkick connects less than thirty seconds in and the Bucks take over in a hurry. A double clothesline drops the challengers and Berreta follows them out with a big running flip dive. Nick grabs Rocky for an apron bomb, followed by driving the back into the post a few times. This is probably as close to psychology as you’re going to get in a Bucks match so enjoy it while you can.
Back in and Berreta gets double teamed as the Vice roles have been reversed since their match at Wrestle Kingdom. Matt grabs a Sharpshooter of all things as a whole new branch of 90s offense is tapped. A wheelbarrow cutter gives Nick two but Matt charges into a double stomp in the corner to give the champ a breather. Rocky is back on the apron, only to have Matt pull him down for a powerbomb onto the ramp. I’m glad they did something else as you can only have someone stay down for so long.
The Swanton to the elevated Berreta on the floor gets two but More Bang For Your Buck is broken up. A Shining Wizard into a piledriver stuns Nick for two but Berreta is spent. Romero finally comes back in for a quick Strong Zero but Nick dives in with a Swanton for the save. Berreta actually makes the tag off to Romero for some house cleaning, including a double hurricanrana and double clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a superkick to Romero, followed by a German suplex onto the apron.
Back in and Romero gets caught in the Sharpshooter with Nick adding a slingshot X Factor for a great cutoff. Somehow Romero powers up and dives over for the break. More Bang For Your Buck is countered into a crucifix for two, followed by a small package out of the Sharpshooter for the same. Berreta gets taken out again though and it’s the Indytaker into the Sharpshooter to make Romero tap away the titles at 14:13.
Rating: B+. That’s pretty easily the best Bucks match that I can remember and SO much of it is due to the lack of superkicks. They were actually having a match here instead of just goofing off and doing all their shenanigans. That makes them even more frustrating: it’s clear that they can do something great here with working the back and cutting off the partner but instead they go with the easy stuff and ruining the superkick because it’s funny (or something). Very good stuff though and that’s amazingly refreshing.
IWGP Tag Team Titles: Guerillas of Destiny vs. War Machine
War Machine is defending but the Guerillas jump them to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Tama hammers on Rowe and gets in a hard clothesline to drop the much bigger man. As is customary, this means a lot of swearing from the Guerillas but it’s off to Hanson to show off the real power.
Both Guerillas are stacked up on top of each other for the pounding forearms to the chest. The fans actually seem to like War Machine better as Hanson gets splashed in the corner. Hanson turns Loa inside out with a clothesline of his own and it’s back to Rowe. Loa laughs like the Joker but gets caught in a Rock Bottom (Loa: “OH S***!”). Everything breaks down again with Hanson getting the better of it and doing his screaming running clotheslines in the corner.
Loa spears Rowe and hits….something like a swinging reverse DDT on Hanson. Tama and Rowe slug it out until Loa comes back in with a Blue Thunder Bomb. Hanson is back up and throws Tama at Rowe for a springboard clothesline. Somehow that’s only good for two and Loa breaks up Fallout to save the match.
Rowe breaks up a quick Guerilla Warfare attempt and powerbombs Tama, setting up Hanson’s top rope splash for a rather close two. Back up and Rowe pops Tama up for something but he pulls Hanson down into a cutter. The referee gets bumped and it’s chair time with Rowe getting blasted in the back, setting up Guerilla Warfare (a bad looking elevated DDT) for the pin and the titles at 10:52.
Rating: B-. This company really likes changing its titles at the big shows. That being said, I like both teams as they both feel different enough than most of the people in this promotion. The match wasn’t great but it was certainly entertaining, with the biggest problem being that it came after the Bucks match. At least it was a fun brawl, albeit one with a bad ending.
The new champs pose in the chair after the win.
Cody vs. Michael Elgin
Just a way to get them both on the card here. Cody offers a cartwheel to start but Elgin shoulders him down and shows Cody the proper cartwheeling technique (I hear he won the Nevada state title back in 95). Since it worked so well the first time, Cody hits a vertical suplex, only to have Elgin pick Cody up for an eighteen second version. Callis says it was over thirty, meaning that bad timing skills are also a Canadian/Japanese problem.
It’s time for the loud chops with Cody in big trouble only a few minutes in. Cody finally grabs an Alabama Slam for a breather but he tries chopping Elgin in the corner. It’s Flair vs. Sting all over again, even capped off by Cody cutting him down at the leg to stay in control. The springboard missile dropkick lets Cody taunt him a bit…..so Mike grabs him by the throat for a Rock Bottom. That’ll teach him, or at least it should.
Naturally Mike does Cody’s taunt right back to him before rolling a few German suplexes. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but Cody pulls him down into the Trailer Hitch (modified Indian Deathlock) for little effect. Cross Rhodes are broken up but one heck of a clothesline drops Cody. Elgin tries the apron superplex, only to have Cody slip down the back for Cross Rhodes and the pin at 11:52.
Rating: C+. This was your standard formula match with the power vs. athleticism. That’s the kind of formula that is always going to work and there’s nothing wrong with having a match like that fill in about fifteen minutes on the card, especially with people who have serious potential like these two. Nice little match here.
Cody wants Christopher Daniels and Okada
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Kushida vs. Hiromu Takahashi
Kushida is challenging after losing the title to Takahashi and then losing the rematch in less than two minutes. He’s since won the Best of the Super Juniors Tournament to earn another shot. They start fast with Takahashi trying the Time Bomb but settling for an exchange of forearms to the face. The early slugout sends both guys to exhaustion, which really isn’t a good sign in what is likely to be a long match.
They chop it out again with neither getting much of an advantage again. Takahashi sends him flying into the corner with an overhead belly to belly for the first real advantage but he can’t follow up. Things settle down considerably but the fans are right there with Kushida. We hit the chinlock on Kushida, which seems rather odd in this promotion. I know they’re uses but it’s not something that feels right around here.
Back up and Takahashi misses a charge and gets caught in a cross armbreaker underneath the ropes. It’s quickly broken but that seems to have fired Kushida right back up. Kushida actually sets up some chairs and the fans are NOT happy with the idea, only to turn around when he uses one as a springboard for a dropkick against the barricade. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Takahashi catches a handspring in a German suplex (anyone who has wrestled Marty Scurll would know to NEVER TRY A FREAKING SPRINGBOARD! UNLESS YOU’RE TAJIRI OF COURSE!).
They head up top with Kushida grabbing a Hoverboard Lock and pulling Takahashi right back down with it. Back to the Future (It’s a small package driver with another AMAZING name) is broken up so it’s back to the Hoverboard Lock but Takahashi escapes with a hard clothesline. Kushida heads to the apron but takes a cringe inducing (seriously) sunset bomb to the floor.
Takahashi takes him back in for a Death Valley Driver into the corner but puts Kushida on top for some reason. As you might expect, that means a super Back to the Future (thud) for no cover from the spent Kushida. We get the slugout from the knees with Kushida PUNCHING HIM IN THE NECK but both guys go down again. The fans boo Kushida stomping on him so it’s the Hoverboard Lock again and Takahashi taps at 19:14.
Rating: A. That’s one of the fastest nineteen minute matches I’ve ever seen. These two were beating the heck out of each other and it was a blast to watch from beginning to end. It felt like they couldn’t stand one another and that makes for an entertaining fight. They also played up the story of Kushida trying to claw his way back, which is an awesome story. I mean, it would have been much better if it wasn’t just a five month story but points for going with something entertaining.
Kushida thanks the fans but Bushi and Evil come out with the former misting the new champ.
Never Openweight Title: Hirooki Goto vs. Minoru Suzuki
Suzuki, an old man invading, is defending and this is a lumberjack death match, which means lumberjack. Both guys also have stables and we’re still in STABLE WARS!!! Feeling out process to start so let’s look at the Japanese commentary team instead. Arm cranking goes nowhere so Suzuki takes him up to the ropes and shoves him in the face a bit.
They start chopping it out with Suzuki rolling outside but being thrown back inside almost immediately. That works so well that they do the same thing with the roles reversed as this isn’t exactly deathtastic so far. Goto is sent outside again and now the lumberjacks get into it, allowing Suzuki to hit a running boot to the face. Suzuki drops a piece of the barricade on him and it’s more Suzuki-Gun interference.
Back in and Suzuki keeps up the hard strikes and some arm holds. Another brawl on the floor has Jushin Thunder Liger nearly jumping off commentary to fight Suzuki, drawing easily the loudest pop of the match. Goto scores with a lariat back inside and it’s time to forearm each other really hard again. They’re tough like that you see. Suzuki gets the better of it but throws Goto into the referee, drawing in the lumberjacks for the brawl.
Yoshi-Hashi hits a flip dive onto everyone else and it’s time to fight over chokes. The GTR (a spinning forearm to the chest into a backbreaker) gets two with a guy named Taichi coming in and pulling the referee out. One heck of a chair shots from Taichi knocks Goto out and a jumping Gotch Style piledriver retains Suzuki’s title at 16:01.
Rating: D+. As is almost always the case, I just don’t care about these matches. I don’t see the appeal of hitting each other really hard and turning it into a toughman contest, but that might just be a cultural thing. I need something more to connect to than “He can get hit really hard but THIS GUY can get hit even harder!” That and all the interference got old in a hurry as I have little idea who most of these people are and it’s basically just two groups hating each other for reasons not important enough to explain.
Yoshi-Hashi saves Goto from further damage so Suzuki offers a challenge.
We actually recap Tetsuya Naito vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi. Naito defended his Intercontinental Title against Tanahashi at Wrestle Kingdom to complete Tanahashi’s downfall but now Tanahashi is back for revenge. In other words, rebel vs. tradition.
Intercontinental Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Tetsuya Naito
Naito is defending and has damaged the title by throwing it around, leaving the metal broken in a few places. Tanahashi goes right after him to start and they slug it out on the floor in a rare display of aggression from the good guy. Naito sends Tanahashi’s bad arm into the post to slow him down but a dropkick sends the champ into the barricade. They slug it out until it’s time to go after the arm, which doesn’t sit well with the fans.
The announcers actually explain Naito destroying the belt: he thinks there are too many titles and wants it to be retired. That’s……really different and I kind of love it actually. Naito sends him outside and poses, followed by a tornado DDT off the apron. Tanahashi is back in at nineteen (still takes time to get used to) and it’s off to an arm lock. Back up and Tanahashi actually SPITS on Naito, which is way out of character for him.
We hit the forearm exchange (actually they do but you get the idea) and a dragon screw legwhip takes Naito down by his banged up knee. Naito tries to bail but gets his leg banged against the apron as Tanahashi is showing extra aggression, which makes perfect sense in a big match. It’s too early for the Cloverleaf so Naito goes back to the arm with a pair of dropkicks.
The bad arm gets tied up again but Tanahashi reverses a suplex into a neckbreaker. High Fly Flow only hits mat though and it’s time for another big slapoff. Tanahashi has had it though and grabs both arms for a big German suplex for the slowest two I can remember in a good while.
Naito grabs his own German suplex and Destino for two, only to have Tanahashi pop up with the Sling Blade. The High Fly Flow is good for another near fall and you can hear some of the energy go out of the crowd on the kickout. The Cloverleaf goes on with Tanahashi almost turning it into a Liontamer to FINALLY make Naito tap at 25:58 and earn redemption.
Rating: A-. This was all about the storytelling and the leg/arm stuff worked very well. You could feel the idea Tanahashi fighting for everything he could with Naito relying on his normal stuff and not being able to hang in there at the end. It’s very similar to the Kushida story but this was just a hair better from a storytelling perspective, albeit not quite from the wrestling perspective.
We recap Kazuchika Okada vs. Kenny Omega for the IWGP World Title. They had the most overrated match of all time (which was great) at Wrestle Kingdom and now Okada has challenged Omega for the rematch.
IWGP World Title: Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada
Omega is challenging and has the Young Bucks in his corner. Feeling out process to start (of course, because this is going to be a long one) with Omega taking it to the mat and kicking Okada in the shoulder for a break. Omega can’t hit a neckbreaker and gets slammed down, only to block a hilo with raised knees. Neither can hit their finisher early but Okada tweaks his knee on a dropkick. As is so often the case in a main event match.
It’s fine enough to knock Omega outside for a flip dive but the knee goes out again. Back in and it’s time for the dropkicks to the knee, including a missile version which has Callis calling Omega a world class athlete. That’s certainly not overkill based on a freaking dropkick or anything. A Figure Four stays on the knee and they head outside with the knee going into various objects.
At least Omega is smart enough to stay on the knee for a bit before kicking at the back to annoy Okada again. A flapjack drops Omega but Okada can’t follow up thanks to the knee. They head outside again with Okada shoving him over the barricade and hitting a running dive. As you might expect, the knee goes out again and Okada can’t immediately follow up. Back in and Omega gets caught in an over the back neckbreaker but still avoids the top rope elbow.
Omega sends him outside again and it’s a top rope Asai moonsault, followed by a springboard missile dropkick for two. A loud sitout powerbomb gets the same but Okada gets his knees up on a middle rope moonsault. Okada goes up top but blocks the dragon superplex and hits a Death Valley Driver onto the apron. A VERY hard dropkick sense Omega into the barricade and Kenny is dazed. Callis: “It’s like being kicked by a horse.” Has Callis ever been hit by a horse? I doubt it, but that’s better than JR’s “Big Show’s headbutt is like being hit by a typewriter.”
It’s table time but Omega can’t get him up for the powerbomb (I’m sure Omega nearly dropping him was COMPLETELY intentional and not in any way, shape or form a mistake in this match that has been rated 125% on the star scale). Okada drops him again and hits the top rope elbow for no cover. Instead he goes back up, only to have Omega catch him for a superplex. He crosses Okada’s legs before lifting him, which is supposed to add something to it but it’s the exact same landing.
The V Trigger (knee to the head) is blocked and Okada rolls some German suplexes into a weak Rainmaker (you know, like it almost always looks) for two. Omega is back up with a sitout powerbomb for his own near fall and both guys are spent. Back up and another Rainmaker is countered into the snap dragon suplex but Okada throws him on top for a dropkick to the floor.
The huge top rope elbow puts Omega somewhat through the table (cracked but didn’t break) and it’s back inside for another dropkick. Of course the announcers are RIGHT THERE again to tell us how completely and utterly in awe they are of Okada’s dropkick. I didn’t know if them doing that the first 198 times during the match sunk in or not. Omega keeps swinging from his knees but eats a pair of Rainmakers (perhaps the worst of them I can remember as THEY’RE JUST STANDING CLOTHESLINES!
Okada walks around instead of covering and here’s Bullet Club with Cody holding a towel. The Bucks keep him from throwing it in and Omega hits a reverse hurricanrana to get a breather. Omega throws the towel down and charges straight into another dropkick. The fourth Rainmaker is broken up with a loud knee to the face for two (This is REAL wrestling! Not that nonsense trading of finishers that WWE does!) in a great near fall.
The One Winged Angel FINALLY connects but Okada gets his foot on the ropes. It’s a very good false finish, though it would have been better (like SIX AND THREE QUARTER STARS) if Omega hadn’t turned toward the ropes before hitting it for no apparent reason other than to set up the kickout. Omega does his pose again, allowing Okada to grab the wrist for the fourth Rainmaker of the match. No cover of course as the match is now longer than the Wrestle Kingdom version.
They slug it out again with Okada actually going down (a rare sight in one of these things), only to pop back up with another dropkick (WE GET IT ALREADY! Both the dropkick and how FREAKING AMAZING THE THING IS KELLY!). More knees (I’ve lost count on how many of those Omega has hit) drop Okada for two and a running version to the back knocks Okada silly. Another One Winged Angel is countered into the Tombstone (Hokey smoke a fresh finisher!) but Okada can’t follow up.
Instead he starts screaming but Omega collapses to avoid another Rainmaker. Since that standing clothesline is just SO hard though, Okada stumbles forward and can’t get up. They fight over a Tombstone until Omega settles for another knee to the head….as we’re told there’s five minutes left. Another running knee looks to set up what looked to be a Tombstone but Okada slips out and hits another dropkick. A spinning Tombstone plants Omega for no cover as we fill in more time.
Okada picks him up and gets small packaged in an outstanding false finish. ANOTHER FREAKING DROPKICK puts Omega down with two minutes left. Kenny grabs the ropes to block the Rainmaker with a minute left and another dragon suplex gets no cover. Instead Okada dropkicks him into the fifth Rainmaker (Take THAT John Cena with your five AA’s a match. Japan’s big names can do it too!) but time runs out at 60:03 (far closer than most hour draws go so points for that).
Rating: A-. I liked the Wrestle Kingdom match better but that’s not to say this isn’t a great match. The problem here should be obvious: I was so sick of the same dropkicks/jumping knee/RAINMAKER (because putting it in all caps instantly makes it cooler)/Tombstone sequences by the end that they stopped meaning anything to me. Anyone is going to run out of stuff to do by the end of a sixty minute match so I can’t blame them for it, but don’t act like them doing the same stuff over and over like that again for forty minutes is some amazing, never before seen formula. That brings us to the other big problem.
Meltzer giving this six and a quarter stars is downright laughable. What I’m supposed to believe is that this match is TWENTY FIVE PERCENT BETTER than any other five star match in history. Twenty five percent better than every match in the Steamboat vs. Flair trilogy, than Austin vs. Hart, than Michaels vs. Undertaker in the Cell, or in any of the roughly 183 tag matches he gave the rating to from Japan in the 90s.
Just…..no. Quite literally no, it’s not that good. Nothing can be, which is why I rolled my eyes when I saw what he rated the match. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with liking a style more than another (I do it, as does every reviewer around, because wrestling is very subjective) but this was some of the worst hyperbole I’ve seen in a good while. I had a good time watching it but again, it didn’t need to be an hour long. You could cut out a good fifteen minutes (like the knee stuff, which wound up meaning NOTHING after about half an hour in) and it’s a better match, though still not six and a quarter stars, or really anything close.
Now that being said, yes the match is excellent and an incredible athletic display. They were selling like they were dead at the end to really put over how much they were laying into each other. Okada came off as the star here with Omega not doing the same level of stuff that he was doing back in January (not to say he wasn’t working hard but January was a once in a lifetime performance). Great match, but I liked both Wrestle Kingdom and Kushida’s match earlier tonight better.
Both guys are gassed and the announcers officially call it a draw and do the standard wrestling thing of comparing it to other matches of the same style over the years. The ending is praised as well, though I’m not sure on that as Okada had him beaten, which doesn’t quite set up a rematch very well. There will be a rematch of course but it could have been done better.
Gedo puts Okada over and the guys get a standing ovation.
There was a post show press conference which I won’t watch because I don’t speak Japanese. The only news though is Cody challenging Okada, who he’ll face at the North American debut in early July.
Overall Rating: A-. Let’s get the big problem out of the way: this show is REALLY, REALLY long at nearly six hours. If you’re going to watch it, fast forward through the entrances and watch it in shifts, which is standard advice for almost all of the big wrestling shows around the world these days. Six hours is just too much to sit through at once and there’s no much of a way around that.
That being said, it’s a great show and certainly worth checking out (though you could skip a match or two and be fine). The two big matches are both outstanding and the Junior Heavyweight Title match is even better, making those three matches must see. The tag matches might vary a bit depending on your taste and the gauntlet match could have been cut down significantly (have the teams on the floor or something). The Never Title match is VERY subjective and while it’s not my style, I know that kind of stuff has a strong following.
As usual, it’s a show I had a good time with but nothing I’m interested in following up on. I’m probably going to increase my New Japan watching a bit going forward, though I’m probably maxing it out at four to five shows a year tops (probably closer to three or four). I probably won’t be covering the tournament finals and there’s virtually no way I’m doing anything but major pay per views. I’ll certainly be doing Wrestle Kingdom (and before people ask me this time) and probably this show plus a few others. New Japan is a lot of fun with some excellent wrestling but them coming to America could be quite a shock for them.
Yes they’re popular with their core audience, but there’s a VERY big difference between the Japanese wrestling fans and the American wrestling fans. You can wrestle this style and bring in all these other names, but if that style is so successful over here, why does no one but WWE draw more than 5,000 fans a night? Maybe New Japan will be different, but I’m really not sure I see it happening. They could surpass Ring of Honor, but is that really a major accomplishment these days? Anyway, great show, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.
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Smackdown
Date: January 23, 2003
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re past the Royal Rumble and it’s all hands on deck towards Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title. Lesnar won the Royal Rumble and Angle successfully defended his title in a masterpiece against Chris Benoit, leaving the two of them as the undisputed top names on the show. Let’s get to it.
Stephanie McMahon announces Undertaker returning tonight, plus the return of another big surprise. The low cut of her top as she leans over a table while saying this would suggest that she’s a face this week.
Opening sequence.
Chris Benoit vs. Charlie Haas
Benoit shoves him into the corner to start but Charlie easily takes him down to get into the technical sequence. Haas’ leglock is countered into an armbar but Charlie reverses that just as easily. You can tell they’re both more comfortable with this style and that makes for a more entertaining match. Charlie hangs onto a hammerlock as the announcers talk about Brock Lesnar being here tonight. It’s always a bit jarring to have that be a normal night instead of a major announcement.
Benoit’s arm goes into the steps and it’s time for more armbars. Chris tries a few rollups but Charlie just goes for the arm again without missing a beat. Benoit fights up with a one arm backdrop and a release German suplex as the arm gives out. The long distance Swan Dive connects but the Crossface doesn’t work. Charlie loads up some suplexes of his own but Benoit reverses into a rollup for the fast pin.
Rating: B-. This was all about the psychology with Benoit not being able to use his normal stuff but suckering the rookie in for the pin at the end. Benoit is still looking like one of the best on the show at this point and I guess I can sit and watch him wrestle this well against Team Angle for a little while longer if I just have to.
Rikishi vs. Bill DeMott
Rematch from last week but DeMott injured his arm in the Rumble. They slug it out to start with DeMott hitting some shoulders to the gut in the corner. The referee tells DeMott to let Rikishi out of the corner. DeMott: “I HAVE TILL FIVE!” Rikishi starts in on the arm and a very hard clothesline drops Bill in a heap. A spinebuster does the same to Rikishi but DeMott hits his arm in the corner. Rikishi’s superkick sets up a Rump Shaker onto the arm (smart) for the pin.
Rating: D+. That should do it for DeMott. I can go for the arm work and sitting on the arm for the pin was a smart way of ending the show. The problem though is having DeMott vs. Rikishi as a feud as neither of them are all that interesting. Also I’m so glad they built DeMott up by having him wreck the cruiserweights, only to lose to Rikishi of all people.
Nathan Jones is still coming.
Big Show chokes Josh Matthews instead of talking about Undertaker.
Matt Hardy gives Shannon Moore a pep talk and sends him into the women’s restroom. Thankfully Matt goes off to see Nunzio instead of following up on the comedy. Nunzio talks about his nephew being like Moore. Sometimes you need to teach people a lesson using the family way. Matt asks Nunzio to give Shannon a Mattitude adjustment.
Tony Chimmel reminds us that Stephanie still has a big announcement as well as Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysteiro later tonight. This is the kind of announcement you would have off camera to announce a dark match instead of showing it on camera. They already showed a Stephanie announcement graphic earlier so why do it this way here? Just for diversity?
Here’s Undertaker, now with the You’re Gonna Pay theme, (I’ve always liked it) for a chat. Since irony doesn’t exist in WWE’s minds, Undertaker talks about how there’s too much talking around here lately. We see a clip of Big Show destroying Big Show a few months back so it’s time for the call out. Here’s Big Show in a suit to say that’s not happening tonight, but he has something for Undertaker.
Undertaker vs. A-Train
The announcers try to figure out the name of A-Train’s chokebomb but drop it when A-Train shoulders Undertaker down. We’re off to the bearhug a minute in but Undertaker slips out and hits his running clothesline. They’re not exactly going out of the safe areas here but I can’t imagine this lasts much longer.
The elbows and legdrop on the apron have A-Train in trouble but the chokeslam is only good for two. A Last Ride attempt is broken up with a backdrop and the Derailer (chokebomb, which they now know the name of) gets two. Undertaker slips off his shoulder though and a dragon sleeper (Taking Care of Business) makes A-Train tap.
Rating: D+. Again, could have been worse as the recently built up heel monsters are falling fast tonight. Undertaker beating A-Train to help build towards a Big Show match isn’t the most thrilling idea but at least….wait what is the positive here? Uh….well the match wasn’t all that bad I guess. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.
Sean O’Haire doesn’t like the government taxing people.
Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin
Edge elbows and leg lariats him down to start and it’s time for the chops in the corner. Shelton just isn’t that much of a striker though so he launches Edge with the first German suplex of the match. Some nice amateur moves take Edge down but he slips out of a slam and grabs the Edge-o-Matic. Shelton is right back on it with a cross arm chinlock for a little while. Edge’s comeback doesn’t take long but the threat of a spear brings Charlie to the apron. The distraction lets Shelton hit the Dragon Whip (that swinging kick to the face) but Edge shrugs it off and gets the spear for the pin.
Rating: C+. Pretty standard match here but Shelton and Charlie still look way beyond their years, at least on the main roster. As soon as they’re allowed to be a regular team, they’re going to be at worst the second best active team on the roster, depending on how well the Guerreros are feeling that night.
Kurt berates his team for the losses. They need to work on their Three I’s. Kurt: “Cripes All Friday!” He tells them both to stay here during his match so they can learn a little something.
Nunzio vs. Shannon Moore
No entrance for either guy and Nunzio takes him to the mat in a hurry. Nunzio sends him shoulder first into the post (way too popular of a target tonight) as Matt seems very pleased with his protege’s destruction. A middle rope Fameasser gives Nunzio two and we hit a figure four necklock for a few moments. Shannon comes back with a running flip neckbreaker for two as a weak ECW chant starts up. A Whisper in the Wind gets one as Shannon but he pulls up to shout to Matt. Shannon’s Twist of Fate is countered into the tornado hammerlock DDT for the pin.
Rating: D. No time to go anywhere but this was much more about the angle than anything else. Shannon and Matt are a funny enough pair with Matt speaking such nonsense and Shannon going along with it like it’s all perfectly logical. Nunzio is a weird character as he’s treated like a tough guy but his second match was a squash loss to DeMott and he’s really small in stature. He’s trying but there are some big issues working against him.
Matt chases Shannon off.
Brock Lesnar talks about having goals in WWE and accomplishing them all. Now he wants to win the World Title at Wrestlemania and F5 Paul Heyman.
Shannon hides in a box, which Matt happens to sit on.
Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle
Non-title and it’s just Heyman with Kurt here. Rey starts fast with the dropkicks but his hurricanrana is countered into one heck of a sitout powerbomb. A nearly spike German suplex gets two and Heyman is busy telling the title how much he loves it. Angle’s front facelock is broken up with a northern lights suplex and an ankle scissors out of the corner sends Angle outside.
The referee won’t let Rey dive so he dives over the referee like a good luchador should. Mysterio drops the dime for two and Angle goes shoulder first into the post to make things even worse. Angle LAUNCHES him with a belly to belly but charges into the drop toehold. He still blocks the 619, only to get caught in the sitout bulldog for two. Rey loads up the West Coast Pop but Angle catches him on his shoulders. A hard drop onto the turnbuckle sets up an electric chair drop for the pin.
Rating: B+. Is Angle capable of doing anything wrong at this point? He’s been on fire lately with an incredible match on Sunday and this great one two days later. Mysterio was certainly game here too and he got to showcase his ample talents as well. Really good match here and one of the better TV matches in a long time for this company.
Angle goes for the ankle lock post match so Edge and Benoit make the save. Running isn’t cool with the Canadians though and Angle takes a beating.
Stephanie won’t tell Funaki what the surprise is but she looks at a Hulk Hogan poster to make sure there’s no doubt.
Back from a break and it is indeed Hogan. Hulk gets a huge reaction and the fans take their sweet time cheering him. As you might expect, Hogan knows exactly how to soak the whole thing in and egg them on even harder. The ovation goes on so long that we take a break and come back with it still going on.
Hogan seems a bit overwhelmed (though you never can tell with him) and admits that the Hulkamaniacs are his life. He’s here to make one announcement: he’s signed a brand new contract but this time it’s going to be the right way with the red and yellow and the fans in his corner. This is going to be the last journey but let this be the greatest of them all.
Cue Vince McMahon though and I think you know where this is going. Vince says Hulkamania is just like Al Wilson: completely dead. Hogan disagrees and wants to fight Vince first. The boss isn’t cool with that (as he shouldn’t be) so Hulk lays him out with a single right hand, FINALLY ending this segment at well over twenty minutes.
Overall Rating: B-. A lot of the talking hurt things here but there’s only so much that can be done to stop a wrestling show like this. Tonight was all about the awesome action with the Smackdown talent being WAY ahead of the Raw counterparts, mainly due to pure in-ring talent alone. This show doesn’t bother with a lot of the stupid stories and goes with people fighting over titles or because they don’t like each other. Sometimes that’s all you need and when you have this level of talent, it’s going to work every time. Stretch some of the matches and cut out some of the talking here and it’s a great show, but as it is, it’s just good.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Main Event
Date: June 22, 2017
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves
I’m not sure what the point is in having the cruiserweights on this show. Given that they’re already appearing regularly on Monday Night Raw and their own show, that makes three different shows they’re on every single week. That’s more than anyone else gets and I’m really not sure how much it helps anything. Maybe they’ll switch things up a bit this week. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Kalisto vs. Rhyno
That’s already a bigger match than most of these shows have. Rhyno throws him around to start but gets kicked in the face and out to the floor. Back in and Rhyno starts taking over in the corner, basically making him the heel in the match despite getting that hard to shake legends pop. A whip into the corner sets up ye olde chinlock but Rhyno goes up top for no adequately explored reasons, allowing Kalisto to snap off a hurricanrana for two. Rhyno breaks up the Salida Del Sol and grabs a superplex for two of his own. Kalisto doesn’t seem to mind and hits the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 5:40.
Rating: D+. No time to go anywhere but a power vs. speed match will always have something of value in them. I’m still a bit thrown by Rhyno as a heel though as he’s basically a legend at this point with the old school fans remembering his days of slightly above average quite fondly.
To Raw for the first time.
Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about being on the cover of the game. He brings up his heel turn from a few years back and everything it brought him. The problem was he couldn’t look in the mirror. Now he’s on the cover of the game and it’s his second chance. This cover belongs to both himself and the fans because it’s THEIR cover.
Cue Bray Wyatt to talk about how he feels the struggle in Seth’s soul. Seth is still conforming to whatever the people want and he’s just not that man. Rollins says he’s THE man and lists off some accomplishments. Bray says he’s here and blows out the lantern before coming out to the ring. Thankfully Seth is smart enough to dive on Bray as he walks very slowly to the ring.
And again, this time from the ending.
Here’s Angle to announce the attacker. He brings out Enzo, Cass, Revival and Big Show to really set the stage. Angle starts with Big Show, who says he’d fight someone face to face. If Angle thinks he did it, maybe he doesn’t need to be on Raw anymore. Show leaves and Cass is very happy until Kurt cuts him off to talk about Revival. Angle says it wasn’t them because enough referees and agents saw the two of them elsewhere.
Corey Graves says he has some information though. A few moments ago Cass said he had a golf ball sized lump on the back of his head, but the medical team said they never treated him. Cass starts backtracking but Graves has security footage. We see Cass staging the scene of the crime and laying on the ground like he’s unconscious. Cass admits he did it and yells about how tired he is of Enzo running his mouth about whatever he’s always talking about. No one behind the curtain likes Enzo and Cass felt bad for him.
Cass finally snapped and it felt good to lay Enzo out from behind. He unloads on Enzo for all the years of having to put up with him and wanted to see how smart Enzo really was. It turns out that Enzo is even dumber than he looks and nothing but dead weight holding Cass down. All Enzo does is have his mouth write checks that he can’t cash but now Cass isn’t behind him anymore. Enzo gets kicked in the head to end the show.
Gran Metlalik vs. Tony Nese
Nese drives him up against the ropes to start and that’s just not something you do to Metalik. You know, the guy called the KING of the ropes. I guess Nese isn’t as smart as he looks, which is fairly insulting when you think about it. Nese misses a moonsault and gets sent to the apron, followed by the floor. A nice flip dive takes Nese down again and we take a break. Back with Metalik walking the ropes for a dropkick and that top rope elbow for two. Metalik can’t hit his namesake driver as Nese slips down the back and gets in a superkick. The suplex into the corner and running knee put Metalik away at 6:52.
Rating: C-. Considering over half of that match was during the break, I really don’t know why they timed the match like this. Just show more of the stuff from Raw and cut this one down a bit. Nese winning makes sense, even though he has nothing going for him at the moment. Metalik’s normal stuff was as entertaining as usual.
We get the long video on Samoa Joe vs. Lesnar.
One last Raw moment as we join the very end of Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe where Braun Strowman returned and laid Reigns out. The challenge for the ambulance match at Great Balls of Fire wraps us up.
Overall Rating: D+. Almost completely standard Main Event here and that’s not the best thing in the world. The main difference was of course a fresh match between Kalisto and Rhyno, which I can certainly go for after all the times we’ve seen the same people on this show. That being said, with Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas now on Raw, maybe we need to find some new Main Event Musketeers.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Lucha Underground
Date: June 21, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
It’s week #2 of the Cueto Cup Tournament, which likely means four more first round matches as we get closer to the round of sixteen. In other words, we’re still filling in time because this season is WAY too long and they don’t have anything else to use all these episodes on. Let’s get to it.
The opening video recaps the tournament and last week’s match. Oh and that whole Cage murdering Councilman Delgado thing.
Melissa Santos hits on Fenix but Marty the Moth is watching from behind a wall like the stalker he is. That being said, Melissa came up to see Fenix as he arrived so he shouldn’t know Melissa was there. That also being said, that might be the most logical things around here.
Cueto Cup First Round: Cage vs. Vinnie Massaro
Vinnie tries to slap away at the monster to start and that’s probably why he’s not booked around here too often. Cage unloads on him in the corner but a thumb to the eye actually gets Vinnie a breather. It’s just a breath though as Vinnie gets clotheslined to the floor, followed by a spinebuster back inside. The straps come down but Vinnie actually scores with an STO. For some reason he goes after Cage’s gauntlet though, earning himself a bunch of clotheslines in the corner. The Screwdriver ends Vinnie at 3:31.
Rating: D. This should have been more one sided as we’re coming off Cage murdering someone who seemed to be a major power on the show. Massaro is just a jobber and he played his part fine, but this should have been more of domination to really hammer home Cage’s newfound power/aggression.
Cage puts the gauntlet on and beats on Massaro a bit more. A chokeslam puts the bloody Massaro on the floor.
Another video on Rey Mysterio, this time focusing on his mask. They’re certainly treating the title match as something really important, which helps out a lot.
Johnny Mundo, in pants again, trains with kendo sticks.
Cueto Cup First Round: Marty Martinez vs. Saltador
Saltador is the one who looks like a black and white checker board and offers his arm so Marty can put on a hammerlock. Marty grabs the wrist but the odd Saltador walks through the ropes and to the apron for the break. A dropkick sends Marty into the ropes and Saltador ties Marty’s legs in the ropes to continue the odd offense. That’s cool with Marty though who throws Saltador into the wall at ringside to really take over. Fans: “LET’S GET WEIRD!” I’d prefer we get Chinese but I haven’t had supper yet.
Saltador comes out of the corner with an ankle scissors and a springboard hurricanrana, followed by a very loud superkick for two. Marty has had it with someone being odder than him so he grabs a German suplex, followed by an exploder into the corner. A double underhook into a gutbuster is enough to put Saltador away at 7:12.
Rating: D+. Saltador certainly was odd but Marty moving forward was all that made sense here. The good thing about a promotion like Lucha Underground is the fact that they have enough people and gimmicks running around that you can run a tournament with people you might remember, which keeps things from getting too boring. This was more entertaining than I was expecting and that’s a big positive.
The Rabbit Tribe worships Mascarita Sagrada but he shakes them off and leaves.
Marty hangs out in his Melissa shrine but his sister Mariposa shows up to scare him. She promises to hurt him if they wind up facing off in the next round.
Cueto Cup First Round: Pindar vs. Mascarita Sagrada
The much smaller Sagrada gets thrown around to start and I have a feeling that’s going to be a theme here. As you might expect, Sagrada comes back with a headscissors and armdrag, followed by a running flip dive through the ropes. Back in and Pindar scores with a pop up cutter before hammering away in the corner.
The SI SE PUEDE chants don’t do Sagrada much good but the really spinny headscissors does. Kobra Moon’s interference doesn’t do much good and Mascarita’s moonsault gets two. Pindar has had it with him though and it’s a superkick to knock Sagrada silly. Pindar tosses him into the air for an X Factor and the pin at 5:58.
Rating: C-. This was actually a bit better than I was expecting with Pindar being a good choice to beat the heck out of Sagrada. You can only get so far with someone Sagrada’s size being a featured performer in a tournament like this but at least he only lasted about six minutes.
Cueto Cup First Round: Mariposa vs. Fenix
Santos still has a thing for Fenix. Mariposa isn’t interested in a handshake but Striker is interested in talking as fast as he can and telling us what we can see for ourselves. A tilt-a-whirl DDT plants Fenix and knocks him to the floor for a hurricanrana. Back in and a springboard version of Mysterio’s sitout bulldog gets two. Fenix kicks her in the head for the same and palm strikes her silly, setting up the Fenix Driver for the pin at 5:48.
Rating: C-. Too short to mean much but it was nice to have some kind of storyline development aside from just this massive tournament. The match was decent enough flying around but they needed to do a little more than Mariposa being able to keep up with Fenix. At least Santos being in a story for a change is interesting.
Marty runs in and goes after Fenix, scaring Melissa again.
Overall Rating: D. So let’s recap: we’re taking away the most interesting thing Lucha Underground does and replacing it with short matches that don’t have time to really go anywhere. At least we’re halfway done with the first round but I have a bad feeling about how much time is going to be dedicated to this thing in the name of filling in all kinds of time on this never ending season.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 22, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
It’s week three in India and one of the last two shows before Slammiversary. Nothing major has been announced for this week but you can almost guarantee some more build towards the World Title match, along with the epic saga of the battling announcers. This likely means more comedy from Joseph Park, who is trying his hardest to make this half joke/half possibly biggest match of the show work. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Sonjay Dutt’s X-Division Title win last week. Dutt is very emotional and seems so happy to have won in front of his countrymen.
Sienna tells Laurel Van Ness to focus on Allie tonight because it’s their chance for revenge.
Opening sequence.
Sony Six X-Division Invitational: Trevor Lee vs. Davey Richards vs. Suicide vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Matt Sydal
Elimination rules for another trophy. Eddie and Davey go straight to the floor and the other four brawl, leaving the announcers to threaten each other (Josh: “They’ll delete your Twitter!” JB: “I’m worried about Steiner!”). Sydal and Suicide are left alone in the ring as there’s so much going on at once. Suicide does his backwards fall onto most of his opponents and we take a break.
Back with Sutter hitting a neckbreaker on Suicide but Lee rolls him up with a handful of tights for the elimination (Can we PLEASE find something for Sutter? He was white hot just two months ago and now he’s any given X guy.). Eddie comes in and is knocked outside in a hurry, leaving Davey to kick Suicide in the head.
The top rope double stomp misses but Lee hits the standing double stomp to get rid of Suicide, leaving us with four. All four get back inside with Davey sending Eddie into a chair wedged in the corner, which is good for a DQ. Davey loads up some chairs on the floor but gets caught in a fisherman’s buster through an open chair.
That’s a DQ on Edwards (For beating up someone no longer in the match?) and we’re down to two as we take another break. Back with Sydal hitting a standing moonsault for two, followed by a standing hurricanrana for the same. Trevor hits a Superman Forearm but gets dropped again, setting up the shooting star to give Sydal the pin at 19:02.
Rating: C. Well at least it wasn’t thirty minutes long. This was every multi-man X-Division match you’ve seen for a long time: a bunch of spots, little flow, no real elevation for the winner. The match was perfectly fine as a way to fill in time but it’s not like this is anything important or anything we haven’t seen multiple times before.
Sydal receives a trophy.
Josh brags about his MMA skills.
Spud was on the street earlier today when he ran into Swoggle. A fight nearly broke out but Spud wanted a woman to film it, only to have her steal his phone. Another small guy breaks it up, leaving Spud and Swoggle confused.
Allie is panicking because Rosemary isn’t here.
Joseph Park is worried about the Slammiversary match and even frozen pizza doesn’t make him feel better. JB goes into an Animal House style speech to inspire him and things seem better. We even get a Mega Powers handshake.
Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Rosemary/Allie
There’s no Rosemary to start but here she is from underneath the ring. Allie and Sienna get things going with Allie sending her into the corner. Hang on a second though as here’s KM with a kendo stick for a distraction. Braxton Sutter comes out for the save but Laurel suplexes Rosemary, allowing Sienna to hit a curb stomp for the pin at 1:48.
Dutt had a parade with the X-Division Title.
Clip of LAX going to an indy promotion to beat people up and take their money.
Mahabali Shera is in the ring when Dutt comes out for a full on Indian celebration of his title win. Dutt thanks the crowd and talks about how awesome it is to be champion. This brings out Low Ki, who calls Dutt’s title win luck. He wants a rematch so Dutt agrees to the match at Slammiversary but we’ll make it 2/3 falls. Dutt offers a handshake but gets punched in the ribs. Shera gets beaten down as well and takes a Warrior’s Way until Sydal comes out for the save.
KM vs. Mahabali Shera
Shera has heavily taped ribs and has to shove the doctors away to get to the ring. KM sends him into the steps before the bell as Josh is already talking about his sparring session last week. Shera can’t get him up for a fireman’s carry but KM misses a slingshot splash. The Sky High ends KM at 1:36.
Kongo Kong comes out to destroy Shera, including a top rope splash on the bad ribs.
JB and Park get serious about training, complete with a short montage.
Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis to find out who Moose’s partner at Slammiversary will be. They don’t think he has any friends so get out here and make the announcement. Moose comes out and makes the most obvious announcement ever: his partner is DeAngelo Williams. As in the football player who was announced as having a match at Slammiversary and was brought in by Moose. But people say WWE treats its fans like idiots. Moose gets beaten down and hit with the Grand Championship.
Josh threatens JB some more.
E Singh 3/Lashley vs. James Storm/Alberto El Patron
The fans chant for Singh, who tells Lashley that he’ll be starting. Naturally this means tagging in Lashley to face Storm instead. James takes over with a running clothesline in the corner, followed by some standing ones for a bonus. It’s off to Alberto, in a shirt, vs. Singh but Storm takes out both villains with a dive as we take a break.
Back with El Patron in trouble until he gets over to Storm for the hot tag. A Sling Blade drops Lashley but a cheap shot knocks Storm out to the floor. Lashley hits a delayed vertical suplex and chokes Storm on the ropes as the announcers hype Spud vs. Swoggle in a street fight next week. There’s a powerslam for two on James and more choking keeps him in trouble.
Storm finally breaks free and brings in Alberto for the showdown with Lashley. A Backstabber gives Alberto two but Lashley is right back with a double powerbomb out of the corner. Two straight superkicks have Lashley in trouble and there’s the cross armbreaker. That’s enough for Carter, who grabs the strap and whips the referee for the DQ at 18:09.
Rating: C-. Impact has done a good job building up Alberto vs. Lashley but I don’t feel the slightest bit of energy or heat between them when they’re in the ring. There’s nothing personal between them and the GFW Title aspect hasn’t added anything to the match. It’s just two wrestlers having a title match and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. I’m sure the match will be good but I need more reason to care.
Alberto cleans house and poses with both titles to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well, they built to Slammiversary…..but they built to Slammiversary. The show is looking like another weak effort as so much of the final TV taping cycle has been built around the live Indian crowd, meaning Impact has even time to devote to the pay per view. It wasn’t a horrible show at all and was entertaining at times but everything felt rushed, which is so often the case around here.
Results
Matt Sydal b. Trevor Lee, Braxton Sutter, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards and Suicide last eliminating Lee
Sienna/Laurel Van Ness b. Rosemary/Allie – Curb stomp to Rosemary
Mahabali Shera b. KM – Sky High
Alberto El Patron/James Storm b. Lashley/E Singh 3 via DQ when Singh used the strap
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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Ring of Honor
Date: June 21, 2017
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana
This is the go home show for Best in the World which means….well I have no idea what it means actually. We’ve actually had a good build to the main event with Christopher Daniels defending the World Title against Cody but the rest of the show is a combination of a mystery or really poorly built. Let’s get to it.
Jay Lethal welcomes us to the 300th episode. It feels like just yesterday that he was winning the TV Title on the second episode yet here we are. He’s ready for 300 more episodes.
Opening sequence.
Silas Young/Beer City Bruiser vs. Jay Lethal/Bobby Fish
Fish and Bruiser get things going with the big man easily running him over. Bobby is smart enough to make Bruiser run the ropes over and over, eventually leaving Bruiser bent over sucking wind. Fans: “HE’S BLOWN UP!” Well at least they know the lingo. It’s off to Lethal to do the same thing with Bruiser taking a knee next to the ropes. Young offers him a beer, so Young and Fish make him run the ropes again, causing the beer to be spat through the ropes.
Back from a break with Young taking a beating for a change until Bruiser clotheslines Jay down. Bruiser takes a Samoan drop from Fish as everything breaks down. Young gets double teamed but Bruiser makes a diving save. A wheelbarrow suplex of all things drops Fish and it’s Misery to put Lethal away at 9:12.
Rating: C-. I can appreciate them mixing the formula up a bit (Coming back from the break with the faces in control?) and Lethal vs. Young has potential. The problem continues to be Bruiser, who still feels like a glorified comedy character. Throw in Fish seemingly still finishing up with the company and it’s hard to get into a good chunk of this match.
Daniels is ready to retain his title and carry ROH into the future.
Jay Briscoe is STILL livid about losing that eight man tag (dude get a therapist) so Bully Ray and Mark Briscoe calm him down. They couldn’t have done this weeks ago?
Kingdom vs. The Boys
Kingdom jumps the Boys in the aisle and beat the heck out of them with the beatdown being on in full. They pull back a ringside mat so Matt Taven can load up a piledriver on the concrete but Dalton Castle comes out for the save. The Boys recover and grab a rollup just after the bell, followed by a double dropkick on Vinny. Things settle down with Taven getting in a cheap shot from behind to really take over. A reverse superplex drops Boy #1 and Marseglia’s Swanton gives him the pin at 1:34.
To recap: Kingdom is having a challenge match against two guys from CMLL while the Boys are challenging for Ring of Honor Titles. The match was a complete squash, including the pre-match beatdown to make the Kingdom look great while the Boys look like the jobbiest jobbers this side of Brooklyn Brawler and Barry Horowitz. I don’t know if they think the CMLL team is more important or what but this was really, REALLY stupid.
Post match Jay Briscoe comes out to yell at Dalton but Mark and Bully break it up.
Video on Punishment Martinez.
Punishment Martinez vs. Joey Daddiego
Daddiego is easily shoved away and a clothesline takes him down again. A springboard flip splash crushes Daddiego again and the sitout chokeslam is good for the pin at 1:58.
Post match Daddiego’s buddies Cheeseburger and Will Ferrara come out for the save but get beaten down as well. Jay White comes out to brawl with Martinez and clotheslines him to the floor. Good angle, though it does nothing for the pay per view as neither is on the card.
The Briscoes are fired up about 300 episodes.
Kevin Kelly and Cody have replaces Riccaboni on commentary.
Will Ospreay/Gedo/Hirooki Goto vs. Addiction/Hiroshi Tanahashi
Well….two of them are on the pay per view. Neither of their opponents are but NEW JAPAN right? Ospreay and Kazarian start things off and fight over a wristlock as we take a break less than a minute in. Dang it Ring of Honor that’s not something you do! Back with Daniels cleaning house but Ospreay breaks up his springboard moonsault.
Ospreay and company take over on the floor and it’s Goto chopping at Daniels in the corner. Something like a cutter into the middle buckle drops Goto though and the hot tag brings in Tanahashi. Ospreay and Gedo take stereo elbow drops but Goto is right there with a clothesline to break it up. Ospreay comes in with a Phenomenal Forearm and a standing shooting star gets two.
Tanahashi Sling Blades him though and we take a break. Back again with Ospreay diving onto Kazarian and Tanahashi, leaving Gedo to take a Blue Thunder Bomb. Everyone gets back inside again and the Oscutter hits Goto by mistake. A Rock Bottom to Gedo sets up the High Fly Flow and the Best Moonsault Ever for the pin at 11:12.
Rating: B-. Well that happened. It does nothing for the pay per view, it wasn’t exactly a memorable match and the biggest star in the match won’t be doing anything more than special appearances for the company. The wrestling was good enough but, as usual, this felt like it was there for the live crowd instead of the TV audience, which is quite further up the food chain.
Post match Hangman Page comes in to jump Kazarian while Cody comes in to hit Daniels with Angel’s Wings. Cody holds up the World Title.
We get some quick promos for the pay per view.
Marty Scurll is ready to take back the TV Title.
Jay Lethal needs to beat Silas Young.
Dalton Castle is outraged by the lack of Six Man Tag Team Titles.
Hangman Page promises to hurt Kazarian.
The Kingdom calls the CMLL guys Melvins.
The Young Bucks promise to superkick War Machine.
Christopher Daniels is ready to find out who is the Best in the World.
Overall Rating: D. So let’s see: four matches, one of which actually built to the pay per view, two title challenges getting destroyed in the second, one that has nothing to do with the pay per view, and a showcase of New Japan wrestlers. Throw in a good chunk of the build taking place in the last two minutes thanks to some twenty second promos and you would almost never know that this was supposed to get you to want to pay $34.99 for a pay per view where I can barely tell you three matches. As usual, Ring of Honor doesn’t seem to have any idea how this stuff works, which really is hard to believe after so many years.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
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In which I ramble about how I’d do things in June and July.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-wwe-spent-build-summerslam/
NXT
Date: June 27, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
It’s the last episode of a taping cycle and that means we have a major match to wrap things up as Aleister Black is facing Kassius Ohno in what could be one of the hardest hitting matches we’ve ever seen in NXT. If nothing else Black needs to get a win over a bigger name instead of just beating nobodies time after time. Let’s get to it.
Quick look at the main event.
Opening sequence.
Bobby Roode and Roderick Strong had a backstage altercation earlier today and we’ll see it later.
Ember Moon vs. Peyton Royce
I rather enjoy Royce and Billie Kay’s entrance but you can feel the pain coming from here. If nothing else I’m glad we get to hear Ember’s awesome theme again. Ember sends her cowering into the corner to start and hits a running forearm to really take over. An early Eclipse attempt is broken up but Peyton can’t hit a fisherman’s superplex (that’s a new one).
Instead she sends Ember shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with Peyton elbowing the bad shoulder like she should be doing. Ember fights up with the good arm but handsprings into a spinning kick to the face. A headscissors staggers Peyton but the threat of an Eclipse makes Billie pull her to the floor. Ember dives onto Kay to take her out and grabs a crucifix for two. Something like a Widow’s Peak (without grabbing the chin) gives Royce two of her own but Ember sends her face first into the buckle. The Eclipse (still looks great) is enough to put Peyton away at 9:01.
Rating: C+. Despite Ember being out for several weeks, the Eclipse still feels like one of the deadliest finishers in NXT. They set up a perfect story with Asuka being worried about that one move and seeing it come back felt like a big moment. Instead of possibly finishing Asuka, that feels like the be all and end all for her reign if Ember can hit it. That’s a great story and the roof is going to come off when she hits it on Asuka.
Hideo Itami comes up to Ohno to kind of apologize for his recent actions. Ohno understands and thinks they should be good to go, but Itami needs to stick on the good side.
Ealy Brothers vs. Sanity
Eric Young and Alexander Wolfe this time. Gabriel and Wolfe start things off with the twin being taken down for an elbow drop from Young. Sanity stays on him with alternating beatings, including Wolfe letting Gabriel get close to his brother and then drag him right back. That’s the kind of heel work I can always go for. A missed charge allows the hot tag off to Uriel, who cleans house for all of five seconds before getting caught in a belly to back suplex/middle rope neckbreaker combination for the pin at 3:21.
Rating: D+. Just a squash here and that’s something Sanity could use at this point. They don’t really have anything to do at this point so letting them squash a good looking team isn’t the worst idea in the world. That’s also a solid finisher which plays off of Young’s wheelbarrow neckbreaker. Nice little piece of business here.
We look back at the end of last week’s show with Asuka and Nikki Cross being left laying. Next week: Last Woman Standing.
Sonya Deville video.
Rachel Evers vs. Sonya Deville
Sonya wastes no time and clotheslines Rachel down for a knee to the back. Another knee to the ribs sets up some kicks in the corner, followed by a quick bodyscissors. The fans get behind Rachel and her right hands but Sonya takes off the glove and pounds away at the ribs. A Kimura makes Rachel tap at 2:42. Another total squash though couldn’t the finish have been something on the ribs, which were worked on all match?
Earlier today, Roode was in a photo shoot when Strong and his family showed up. Roode said Strong’s wife could be with a real man any time she liked and Strong snapped as you might expect. It’s quickly broken up with Roode saying Roderick can have a title shot anytime.
That anytime would be in two weeks on the 400th episode.
Aleister Black vs. Kassius Ohno
Feeling out process to start with Ohno getting a quick takedown for almost no effect. Black sits him on the top rope for about the same impact and it’s back to the technical work. Ohno gets two off a rollup but gets caught in a front facelock. A hammerlock keeps Kassius in trouble but a rope grab gives us a clean break.
The threat of Black Mass sends Ohno outside and it’s the moonsault into the meditation pose. Ohno tries to kick him from there so Black nips up with a knee to the face. Kassius knocks him hard to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ohno chopping away in the corner and dropping a backsplash for two. To really make this personal, Ohno sits down like Black, who doesn’t take kindly to the disrespect.
Ohno pounds away again and asks if Black is good or evil. That’s quite the perceptive question no? Somehow not crushed by the weight of that gut, Black pops up and slugs away, including a kick to the head for two. Another exchange of hard kicks gives Ohno two more as the BOTH THESE GUYS chant starts up. Since that worked so well, Black knees him in the head again for two more. A spinning bicycle kick (cool) gives Ohno two but a LOUD knee to Ohno’s jaw staggers him again. Not that it matters as Ohno loads up the roaring elbow but walks into Black Mass for the pin at 16:47.
Rating: B+. Most matches have a distinct style to them and this one would be “hit each other in the face over and over again”. I had a lot of fun watching this as they were beating the heck out of each other until one of them hit their big shot. It made both guys look especially tough, which is something we hadn’t quite seen out of Black yet with all the short matches he’s had so far.
Overall Rating: B. A return, two squashes, title matches announced for the next two weeks and one heck of a main event in the span of about 58 minutes. I’d certainly call that a success as it felt like an old version of NXT, which is one of the highest compliments I can give to a show. Really solid stuff here and hopefully they stick with this formula.
Results
Ember Moon b. Peyton Royce – Eclipse
Sanity b. Ealy Brothers – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination to Uriel
Sonya Deville b. Rachel Evers – Kimura
Aleister Black b. Kassius Ohno – Black Mass
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/
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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 2003
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re past the Royal Rumble and, somehow, the big story still seems to be HHH vs. Scott Steiner for reasons of general torture. After Steiner showed why he shouldn’t be allowed to wrestle a watermelon farmer in front of a pair of chickens named Dolores and Walter, it’s pretty clear that he’s getting a rematch next month at No Way Out. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. Vince always gets this one in and maybe we can have a D’Lo Brown match to celebrate.
The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon telling Eric Bischoff that he has thirty days to turn the show around or he’ll be replaced by Shane McMahon.
Opening sequence.
Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. The announcers immediately start talking about how awesome last night’s match was, likely with Vince screaming in their ears the whole time. JR even mentions the most terrifying word in the world: REMATCH. I mean, I thought/hoped I was imagining it when he said HHH had “no way out” last night but I probably need to see my therapist more. Granted when the match put me in therapy in the first place (Which CAN NOT be blamed on Steiner of course. That would just be lunacy.), it kind of defeats the purpose.
HHH talks about how physical the match was last night but at the end, Steiner had to use a sledgehammer to save himself. As they say in the movies, “there ain’t gonna be no rematch.” Apollo didn’t say “there” you nitwit. Get your Rocky quotes straight. Cue Steiner to say he wants his rematch tonight, despite taped ribs. Are those from carrying HHH last night? I mean, that WHOLE THING was HHH’s fault and nothing can be blamed on anyone else so we’ll go with that theory.
HHH has a note from his doctor (An apology for the match perhaps?) and can’t wrestle tonight so Flair says Batista can do it instead. As I desperately scramble to find that therapist’s number, Batista comes out for a distraction so HHH can jump Steiner to little avail. Scott cleans house, despite a minor misstep where they looked to be on the wrong page (HHH’S FAULT!!! HHH’S FAULT!!!).
Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
Imagine the pre-match prep talk. I feel string would be discussed in thorough detail. Jeff starts with a jawbreaker and a running dropkick puts Rob on the floor. The barricade run doesn’t work as Rob kicks the leg out, followed by more kicks back inside. The announcers start talking about Chris Jericho in the Rumble for no apparent reason as Jeff gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Van Dam grabs a Regal Roll and hits a middle rope moonsault, only to miss the Five Star. A Codebreaker of all things sets up the Swanton for two, followed by Rob grabbing a backslide for the pin.
Rating: C. The match had the noticeable slips that you would expect from these two but it worked well enough with Jeff not being able to win even with his best move. If nothing else it was cool to see what would become a famous move later on used as something basic here. It’s not like Jericho invented it but it’s still weird to see so long ago.
Post match Jeff snaps and grabs a chair but throws it down before the swing.
Christian and Christopher Nowinski offer Bischoff good luck with his remaining twenty one days to turn Raw around. I know WWE doesn’t think much of its fans, but I think they know that thirty minus seven isn’t twenty one. This always made me shake my head back in the day and I still don’t get it now. If they just had to set it up to end on Raw, just set it up as four weeks from tonight instead of thirty days, which made the whole thing confusing. Anyway, there’s going to be a bombshell announcement later tonight.
Steiner runs into Randy Orton, who talks about Steiner wanting to be World Champion. Steiner, ever the crazy man, attacks Orton, which threatens his 95% healed shoulder. Dude DON’T MESS WITH HIS MATH SKILLS! Some threats leave Orton shaken.
Chief Morely has Nick Patrick watch the ending to the Tag Team Title match. Patrick admits his mistake but Morely wants a public apology. As opposed to one on national television.
Here are Morely and Patrick for said apology. Patrick gladly does so, but Morely wants the decision reversed. In one of the most laugh inducing lines ever in WWE, Patrick says it’s company policy that all referee decisions are final. That’s bad even by WWE standards. Morely calls out the Dudley Boyz, who point out that Morely brought the knuckles into the ring in the first place. Morely demands the titles be handed over but Bubba won’t give them to a washed up ex-adult star. It’s almost table time but William Regal and Lance Storm run in for the save. Bubba gets flapjacked through the table and Morely says let’s have a title defense.
Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Lance Storm/William Regal
Storm and Regal are challenging and win the titles in less than fifteen seconds.
To clarify, Booker T. and Goldust can’t keep the titles for a month but we can do two title changes in twenty four hours. There’s no real reason to have Booker and Goldust lose the belts in the first place when you could have had them defend against Storm and Regal at the Rumble and then do this same angle tonight. Why do that though when you can get two more reigns out of it though, thereby making the titles seem even weaker than they already are?
Trish Stratus/Hurricane vs. Steven Richards/Victoria
The genders have to match. Hurricane armdrags Richards down to start but Victoria tags herself in and slaps Hurricane in the mask. The threat of a chokeslam brings Richards back in as the rules are thrown out less than a minute and a half in. Trish comes in and they botch what I think was going to be an electric chair but turned into Trish sitting on the back of Victoria’s head. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop and it’s off to Hurricane but the referee didn’t see the tag. Trish almost takes the StevieDT but Hurricane makes a save. Stratusfaction ends Victoria, likely setting up another title match. This was a mess.
Bischoff talks to Vince’s secretary and again promises a big surprise so Vince should turn the show on. WWE just admitted that the boss, the owner of the company, and the most important man in the wrestling world ISN’T WATCHING HIS FLAGSHIP SHOW. That sums up so many problems in one line. Bischoff throws a dart at a picture of Shane McMahon on a dartboard to really emphasize the idea.
Same Sean O’Haire video from last night.
Here’s Bischoff for his big announcement. We see a clip of Steve Austin being named Raw Superstar of the Decade but not being invited to the ceremony. Bischoff says Austin wasn’t there because he walked out on Vince McMahon. We’ve heard Vince and JR’s sides of the story so maybe we should hear from Austin. Eric is going to give him the chance to tell his side…..IN RAW MAGAZINE!
That’s not the big announcement though (thank goodness). Instead, Bischoff is inviting Austin to return at No Way Out. How does that change Raw though? As in Bischoff’s whole assignment. Eh I’m sure it makes sense in WWE’s mind, which is all that matters. It’s not like the fans can make sense of all these brilliant ideas (Want to know what happened? GO BUY THE MAGAZINE!) so take what you can get. Oh and the pay per view is further than 21 days away. In theory he could be safe if he signs Austin back before then, but just say “you have until No Way Out” and this isn’t an issue.
3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.
JR calls them 3 Count and, while discussing Test vs. Chris Jericho (which is being treated as a major match for some reason), says Jericho eliminated Shawn Michers last night. Goldust and Jamal get things going but it’s off to Booker before anything goes anywhere. A very hard clothesline turns Booker inside out and all hope is lost.
Back up and Booker superkicks his way back into hope as the match is being ignored for the sake of talking about Austin (fair enough at this point and it’s not like Booker and Goldust seem to be going anywhere anytime soon). Jamal breaks up Shattered Dreams and runs Goldust over to hit the neck crank.
Back up and Jamal misses a charge into the corner so Booker can come in to clean house. A double DDT drops the Samoans and it’s time for the Spinarooni (With a crowd reaction shot. As in one. On the whole show. Not seventeen per match.) but Jamal superkicks Booker down. Jamal misses a top rope splash (his toes might have grazed Booker if he had “connected”) and the ax kick puts him away.
Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse but they’re not even trying to hide the fact that Booker T. and Goldust are done with the title picture. I have no idea why the company felt the need to immediately move to the Dudleys, who have done this time after time before. It’s not like the upcoming HHH vs. Booker feud needed to be started this early so why not get a little more mileage out of the team?
Video on Chris Jericho’s Royal Rumble performance until Shawn Michaels ran back in, allowing Test to eliminate him.
Chris Jericho vs. Test
Jericho, with a heck of a knot on his head from a Tommy Dreamer cane shot, complains about having his dream stolen. Test sends him over the top for some cat skinning, only to follow up with a gorilla press drop. Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. Stacy plays cheerleader (playing to her natural skills) and gets Test to his feet for a side slam. The big boot misses so Test backdrops him to the floor. Test gets posted and Jericho grabs a chair, which he uses to hit the post, which Stacy was standing behind. Naturally this is equal to shooting Stacy dead and the match is thrown out.
Rating: D. Most of that is due to the horrible ending, which we’ll get to in a minute. The rest of the match was Test doing his really standard power offense and still having no reason to care about him because his big thing is a great looking manager who does lame jokes. This really isn’t interesting and that’s not the biggest surprise in the world.
Stacy gets taken out on a stretcher while Test shows off his acting skills. She didn’t get hit in the head and Jericho didn’t hit her. Unfortunately this is going to lead to the Owen Hart voices because this story needs to be all serious instead of something rather bad looking. I get what they’re going for, but it’s kind of hard to get interested in a story where someone hit a post and damaged the woman who does the Testicles jokes.
Al Snow plugs the Tough Enough finale.
Stacy is still being taken out. They show the worst replay imaginable, which shows the chair hitting the post, which Stacy’s HANDS are touching with her head at least six inches away.
Flair gives Batista a pep talk.
Tommy Dreamer vs. D’Lo Brown
Singapore Cane match. Before the match, Brown brings out Teddy Long to say that D’Lo isn’t going to be one of Dr. King’s followers because a lack of aggression never got him anywhere. Last night, Brown was held out of the Royal Rumble and tonight THE MAN has him in this violent match. Starting tonight, the WWE has to be down with the Brown. D’Lo: “Free at last, free at last, free to cane a white boy’s a**!”
Dreamer immediately starts caning away but hits the post by mistake. Brown was a few feet away but there’s no stretcher brought out. I smell racism. D’Lo canes him a few times, then Dreamer canes him a few times. Tommy hits D’Lo’s head shaking legdrop and a DDT, only to dive into a cane to the ribs. The Sky High (the Low Down according to the way off JR) gives D’Lo the pin.
Rating: F. This was as good as a suddenly racist D’Lo Brown and Tommy Dreamer caning each other for three and a half minutes was going to be. Long is a big improvement for the angle but there’s only so much he can do with something this stupid. There was no reason for this to be a cane match but at least Brown won.
Batista vs. Scott Steiner
It’s a power match to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Steiner winning a battle of shoulders. Scott hammers away in the corner and actually uses a belly to belly. I’d have bet on that one being banned. It’s so offensive that Randy Orton runs in for the DQ.
Steiner beats up Flair but Batista breaks up the Recliner. HHH comes in as well and beats Scott down (JR: “WHAT ABOUT THE NOTE FROM THE DOCTOR???”) with the help of his new buddies. Steiner is busted open and Pedigreed, drawing a face pop. The new team (no name yet) poses to end the show.
Overall Rating: F+. This was horrible and it’s getting clearer and clearer every single week that something really needs to change around here. Above all else, bring back the Intercontinental Title. These matches are just coming and going because there’s nothing for most of them to fight over. They’re just filling in time with nothing feuds and stories (D’Lo Brown, Test, Hurricane vs. Richards, Booker T./Goldust and so on) because HHH can only fight one guy at a time.
Other than that though, you barely have any good wrestling and now we’re setting up for No Way Out which will feature a rematch of one of the worst matches ever and Steve Austin, who was a shell of himself eight or so months ago and could be even worse now. On top of that, you know it’s a bad time when your top face can’t be trusted to go two minutes in the main event of Raw. This show is in a massive need of a shot of blood or anything for that matter, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: