NXT Date: May 17, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Tom Phillips
It’s the go home show for Takeover: Chicago and that should mean a hard sell towards the show. The card currently has four matches, which is one below the norm for most of the Takeover specials. I’m not sure what to expect tonight but there’s always the chance that the show can be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.
Bobby Roode arrived earlier today.
Opening sequence.
Drew McIntyre vs. Sean Maluta
Drew does his kneel in the corner until the bell for a good visual. Maluta gets driven into the corner to start but slaps Drew in the chest a few times. That just earns him an even harder chop, followed by a big throw across the ring. Maluta comes back with something like a middle rope Codebreaker for one, only to get thrown into the corner for some rapid fire right hands. Drew has a heck of a mouse under his right eye as he just knocks Maluta silly with a headbutt. The Claymore (or whatever it’s called here) ends Sean at 3:22.
Rating: C. I’m a big McIntyre fan and he’s looking even better here. The power game makes him look very different than he used to as he’s throwing people around like they’re not even there anymore. Add in the fact that he’s that much taller than most of the other NXT talent and he really does come off like the complete package.
McIntyre isn’t worried about having Wesley Blake’s attention and challenges him to a match for next week.
We look back at Hideo Itami defeating Roderick Strong last week to become #1 contender. After the show went off the air, Sanity ran in to beat Strong down again. In the back, Strong told William Regal that he wanted Sanity.
Eric Young can’t believe that Strong, who has a new baby, wants Sanity at Takeover. If Strong wants to lose everything, he’s on.
We get a video package on Hideo Itami’s NXT debut back in 2014. I never would have guessed it was that long ago. That shoulder injury really did take him out for a long time.
We run down the Takeover card.
Video on Tyler Bate defeating Pete Dunne to become the inaugural United Kingdom Champion and the build to their rematch.
The Velveteen Dream is coming.
Video of Itami at the big Wrestlemania XXXI weekend house show where he hit the first GTS. That’s the moment where I had to get to an NXT show no matter what.
Strong vs. Young is confirmed for Takeover.
Earlier today, Asuka was in a car and wouldn’t answer anything, saying “next question” until asking if the interview was over. She’s kind of awesome as a heel, though she stops to take a picture with fans as she arrived at the arena. After she leaves them though, she doesn’t seem pleased with what she had to do.
Lacey Evans vs. Sonya Deville
That would be Macey Estrella vs. Daria Barenato. Sonya doesn’t waste time by hitting her in the face to start before throwing on a bodyscissors. The gloves come off and Sonya pounds the ribs with right hands. Lacey comes back with some shots to the face and a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as Sonya hits a standing Shining Wizard for the pin at 3:02.
Rating: D+. This was almost a squash and that’s a good idea as they need to start restocking the shelves. Deville isn’t the best thing in the world but the MMA style character should have a nice shelf life. Build her up to challenge a face champion and it should be a really easily told story.
We look at Itami putting Roode to sleep.
Kassius Ohno vs. Andrade Cien Almas
Ohno still looks ridiculous with the basketball jersey and trunks. Almas lays on the mat for an early rest before flipping over Kassius into a standoff. The threat of the elbow sends Almas outside but Kassius is fine with kicking him in the jaw. Almas gives him one of his own though and we take a break.
Back with Almas chopping him down in the corner and throwing on a cross armbreaker over the ropes. A missile dropkick to the arm gets two but the kickout is switched into a Fujiwara armbar. The running knees in the corner stun Ohno but he blocks a slap and hits some bicycle kicks to get a breather.
Ohno misses a moonsault though and a Nightmare on Helm Street gives Almas two. The backflip kick to the head drops Kassius again and the double knees connect in the corner. A reverse tornado DDT of all things gives Almas two and it’s time to be shocked. Back to back rolling elbows end Almas at 13:51.
Rating: B-. These two are solid upper midcarders around here but I can’t really imagine either of them going any further than that. I’m curious about where the Almas story is going with all the losses as I hope they don’t turn him face but it’s going to be harder to be a serious heel with this bad of a record.
Last week Itami became #1 contender.
Here’s Roode for the big closing speech. He got knocked out (while wearing a $5000 suit) with a GTS and that’s never going to happen again. This Saturday he’ll be in his ring gear ready to go because that’s what he does every single night. Itami keeps getting hurt and coming back and getting hurt and coming back. Roode didn’t even know Itami was still employed here. Cue Itami but Regal and security hold him back. That only lasts so long though as Hideo charges in anyway and gets in a few shots. Security breaks it up but Itami gives one of them a GTS. Roode tries to charge in but gets put to sleep to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This was a bit of a step down from what I was expecting as it was almost all about the NXT and UK Title matches. The Tag Team Titles and Women’s Title barely got any focus though they did manage to get in the Strong vs. Young match. I wasn’t wild on this show but it was perfectly acceptable, which is better than you’re getting on the main shows as of late.
Results
Drew McIntyre b. Sean Maluta – Running kick to the face
Sonya Deville b. Lacey Evans – Standing Shining Wizard
Kassius Ohno b. Andrade Cien Almas – Rolling elbow
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – May 16, 2017: Why Can’t I Remember This Show?
Smackdown Date: May 16, 2017
Location: SNHU Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re back stateside with the go home show for Sunday’s Backlash. We have a few matches announced as it’s Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton and a “first time ever” match between Jinder Mahal and AJ Styles. I put it in the quotes because while it’s the first time the match has ever happened, I really don’t know if that’s worthy of mention it never happening before. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Kevin Owens’ Highlight Reel with Kevin emphasizing that the original host will NEVER, EVER be seen here again. After a clip of the Chris Jericho beatdown, Owens introduces his guest in French, only to have AJ Styles (not the guest) interrupt on his own. He never did well in French class but on Sunday, he’s taking the US Title and bringing it back to the USA. Styles is ready to fight not but here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers to interrupt. Mahal is supposed to be the guest and doesn’t seem pleased. The three all talk trash but Owens runs from AJ.
AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal
Owens is on commentary. Feeling out process to start without much of note to start. Jinder sends him to the apron though and AJ scores with a slingshot forearm to a kneeling Mahal. Some kicks to the chest have Mahal rocked and AJ follows up with a shortened Phenomenal Rush. A hard knee drops AJ though and we take a break.
Back with Jinder working on a chinlock for a good while. AJ fights up and crotches him on the top before dropkicking Jinder out of the air. Another forearm has Jinder in trouble but he kicks AJ in the face for two. Owens keeps cheering for Mahal but shouldn’t he want the match to go on as long as possible so AJ can be hurt even more?
The fireman’s carry into the flip neckbreaker gives AJ two but the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Owens to hit AJ in the knee with the belt. Somehow the referee doesn’t wonder why AJ has down and hurt his knee. The cobra clutch slam (the Kalas, Punjab for finish) gives Mahal the pin at 15:45.
Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the only logical ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Mahal needed this win and it advances Styles vs. Owens at the same time. That’s one of the best things they can do at the moment as it accomplishes everything at once. Mahal is still passable in the ring but that’s about all you can give him, which isn’t enough for the spot they want him in.
It’s Fashion Files time with more pictures and Post-It notes stuck to the walls. Breeze comes in with a blond wig and taped on mustache, whom Fandango praises for his expertise as a master of disguise. Tyler has found a number of fashion felonies, including EVERY BARON CORBIN shirt being a wolf design. The Usos are scary but their hair is like a mop. Breeze takes off the mustache, asking what in Versace’s name is he wearing. They load up a high five but Breeze says freeze frame, leaving them both hanging in the air.
Randy Orton is ready for Mahal.
Breezango vs. Colons
Joined in progress with Breeze fighting out of some trouble and getting two on Epico. The cousins keep him in trouble though and Primo grabs an armbar. Breeze avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Fandango to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Falcon Arrow gives Fandango the pin at 3:18.
Rating: D+. Just another match here but it’s nice to have Breezango on a roll heading into the pay per view. I doubt they win the belts but I could go for a title change. The Usos are barely doing anything with the belts (not to say Breezango would) but it would be nice to switch things up for a little bit.
Post match the Usos come out to say they’ll win on Sunday because this is the Uso penitentiary. They’ll remain vicious and give you stitches and that’s not paranoia.
Here’s Shane McMahon for a contract signing for Sunday’s six woman tag. Natalya uses her uncle’s catchphrase and signs while Tamina and Carmella sign without saying anything. Becky laughs off the idea of being offered a spot on the team and can’t wait to slap all three of them. Naomi tries to dub the team Royal Glow Fire and threatens to snatch them bald. Charlotte promises a win but after that she’s coming for the crown.
Ellsworth cuts Shane off and says he can take care of himself. Shane has no idea what he’s talking about but it’s clear that Becky is staring at Ellsworth. Neither Charlotte nor Becky has a shot him though and Carmella is coming for his title. A fight nearly breaks out so Shane makes Carmella vs. Naomi for right now.
Carmella vs. Naomi
Non-title. Joined in progress with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and a running forearm in the corner. Naomi misses a knee drop though and gets sent face first into the mat. The threat of the Rear View sends Carmella outside and Ellsworth gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Carmella running away from some kicks and screaming a lot.
Naomi shuts her up with a dropkick, only to have Carmella kick her in the face and send her outside. The champ fights up again and hits a jawbreaker but Tamina and Natalya break up a cover, meaning it’s a double ejection. Charlotte and Natalya get in a fight with them first though and Naomi goes over to kick Tamina in the back. The distraction lets Carmella grab a rollup for the pin at 11:21.
Rating: D+. I’m still trying to get past Naomi’s attempts to get “I’m gonna snatch you bald!” over as a threat/catchphrase. She can’t threaten to beat them up or hurt them but rather take their hair? Is she a reincarnation of Brutus Beefcake? Anyway not a great match or anything but it did well enough to st up the match on Sunday.
Dolph Ziggler has been watching all the Shinsuke Nakamura footage he can find in WWE but there’s nothing to see. Instead, here’s a Ziggler highlight package. Ziggler can’t wait to beat Nakamura.
Sami Zayn has been granted a match with Baron Corbin for Backlash (That wasn’t official yet?) because he thinks Corbin feels threatened by him. Corbin jumps him from behind and says stay down.
Randy Orton vs. Baron Corbin
Non-title. They shove each other around to start with Corbin popping Orton in the jaw to take over for the first time. One heck of a clothesline gives Baron two and we take a break. Back with Orton missing a middle rope knee drop and getting caught in a chinlock. Corbin hammers him down again and some posing gets quite the negative reaction from the fans.
Baron says the people’s reaction is why he’s hurting Orton but he misses a charge into the corner. JBL keeps calling both of them great closers as Orton hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is broken up and Deep Six gives Baron a close two. Back up and the RKO gives Orton the pin at 13:20.
Rating: C. Corbin took WAY too clean of a loss here when he’s supposed to be a big deal going forward. I’d bet on him getting a title shot in the near future but why should I care about him if he just lost clean here? I’m fine with Orton winning a match but the booking here is a bit questionable.
Post match Mahal comes out for a distraction so the Singh Brothers can come in for the attack. Mahal holds up the title to end the show.
Rusev never appeared despite being advertised.
Opinion: C-. This was a rather flat show heading into what feels like a flat pay per view. I’m interested in Styles vs. Owens and that’s really about it on the entire card. What am I supposed to care about other than that match? Breezango? The six woman tag? Jinder Mahal? They’re fine for a big Smackdown but it doesn’t quite work that well on a pay per view. The show was good enough but nothing I’ll remember in a day or two.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. AJ Styles – Kalas
Breezango b. Colons – Falcon Arrow to Primo
Carmella b. Naomi – Rollup
Randy Orton b. Baron Corbin – RKO
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – May 15, 2017: For Once, This Show Didn’t Take A……Dive
Monday Night Raw Date: May 15, 2017
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
This could be an interesting show as the roster is freshly back from Europe, meaning there could be some severe jet lag issues. The other major issue at the moment is Braun Strowman, whose recent surgery will put him out until November instead of early July as originally thought. Tonight we might find out who is going to take his place. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns beating down Braun Strowman and putting him on the shelf for a long time.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Kurt Angle to open the show. He talks about Strowman’s injury and says we need a new name at the top of the card to challenge Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title. Therefore, we’re going to have an extreme five way at Extreme Rules for the #1 contendership with Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Bray Wyatt, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns facing off for the shot.
This brings out Reigns to say he’s the Big Dog, Balor to say he never lost the Universal Title and that he beat Reigns, Joe to say he’s shown his worth through his actions, Wyatt to say everyone will fall, cower and run and Rollins to say he wants to fight. Joe obliges him and it’s a huge brawl with Balor hitting a big flip dive and leaving everyone laying. This was EXACTLY what they needed to do as they’ve set up the match with a clear goal and dealt with the next few months without missing a beat. That’s as good as it could have been done.
Post break Rollins, Reigns and Balor are all fired up so Angle makes some matches for later tonight: Rollins vs. Wyatt and Reigns vs. Balor.
Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is in a shirt for some reason and gets stomped down in the corner. Jeff’s dive over the top is easily caught though and Sheamus sends him into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a hard knee to the jaw for two but Jeff dropkicks him out of the air and gets two off a Twisting Stunner. Sheamus kicks Matt off the apron but walks into the Twist of Fate, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 8:36.
Rating: D+. And I still don’t care. Really, we’ve seen these guys have singles matches multiple times now and I have little reason to believe Sheamus and Cesaro are going to win the titles. Then again that means they likely will get them, which would make them the first team to pin the Hardys in the better part of three years.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox
Banks beat her last week but Fox had her shoulder up at two. Fox kicks her in the face for two to start and hits that great looking northern lights suplex for two. Sasha can’t get the Bank Statement and seems to hurt her leg on the way down. Back in and Fox hits the ax kick for the completely clean pin at 3:02.
Rating: D. I’m sorry what now? I mean, I’m a bigger Fox fan than most people but I really don’t get this one. Unless they’re going with Banks losing a match she should win and turning heel in frustration, I really don’t get this. Fox isn’t on Banks’ level and this really isn’t the most logical thing in the world.
Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Ambrose is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Miz bails to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting his running clothesline in the corner, followed by the YES Kicks. Dean comes back with a suicide dive, followed by a bulldog for two back inside. Miz misses a running charge in the corner, followed by the top rope standing elbow to give Dean two more.
The rebound lariat is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the very close near fall, giving us a shocked look from Miz. Dean sends him outside again so Miz hides behind Maryse, only to have Dean dive anyway. Maryse offers a distraction but the low blow is blocked, allowing Dean to kick Miz low for the DQ at 12:02. Dean looks stunned at the DQ for some reason.
Rating: C+. That’s as obvious of a setup for a No DQ rematch as I’ve ever seen and that’s fine. Miz vs. Ambrose is a good feud and Miz winning his seventh title is a good idea. I liked the match more than I was expecting to and they actually had me for a second on that Skull Crushing Finale.
Balor says Roman’s yard is in his universe.
Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. Bliss rips on Newark a bit before talking about what it’s like to be a winner. When you’re smarter than everyone else and more dominant than everyone else, winning just comes easily. If you’re a failure, say what. Crowd: “WHAT!” Bliss: “My point exactly.” If she had entered Miss USA last night, she would have walked off with the crown. Bliss: “So Miss USA: you’re welcome.”
Cue Bayley to interrupt though she knows Bliss doesn’t care what she says. Bayley is invoking her rematch clause at Extreme Rules but Bliss needs to make it clear that it won’t be extreme pogo sticking. Bliss talks down as only she can and suggests Bayley leave the championships to the adults. A dropkick puts Bliss on the floor but she snaps Bayley’s throat on the ropes and comes up with a kendo stick. One heck of a shot to the back sends Bayley outside and Bliss poses with the title. Heck of a segment from Bliss here, who is still on fire.
Angle is on the phone with Sami Zayn when Miz comes in to complain about what Ambrose did. Kurt gives him a rematch at Extreme Rules but Miz wants a match where the title can change hands on a countout or a DQ. Maryse yells at Angle in French so Angle uses some high school French to say he’s a gold freaking medalist. Cue the Drifter to scare Miz and Maryse off. Angle: “Can I help you?” The Drifter leaves.
Neville/TJP vs. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries
I would have expected this to headline 205 Live. TJP charges into a boot to the face to start and the heels are sent outside for a flip dive. Back with Neville in control on Aries and sending him outside. Aries fights out of a chinlock (fans: “CM PUNK!”) and claps his hands around TJP’s ears, allowing the tag off to Gallagher. Jack mixes it up a bit his week with some suplexes for two and everything breaks down. Aries’ bad knee gets taken out but he’s still able to hit a top rope ax handle. It sounds like the fans are chanting for Derek Jeter as TJP hits the Detonation Kick for the pin on Gallagher at 9:42.
Rating: C. If the fans were really chanting for Punk and Jeter, good grief get over yourselves. The northeast is supposed to be this hot bed for indy wrestling and you have WWE giving you a freaking cruiserweight division but LET’S CHANT FOR OTHER SPORTS! That’s going to make WWE love the cruiserweights so much and the little guys are going to be SO over with the office. Well done you bunch of pompous twits.
Bayley is banged up when Angle comes in to say the rematch will be a regular match. That’s not what Bayley wants though so Angle makes it a kendo stick on a pole match.
Golden Truth fires each other up.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Before the match we see the full opening video of Reigns and Strowman again. Reigns starts fast by throwing Balor around the ring, only to get kicked in the face twice in a row. Roman misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post, followed by a HARD running kick to the face. A double stomp to the back knocks Reigns even sillier as this has been almost one sided so far.
Back with Reigns hitting the apron dropkick to send Balor ribs first into the post. Reigns fires off the clotheslines in the corner and gets two off a sitout powerbomb. The bad shoulder gives out off another powerbomb attempt though and Balor hits a good looking double stomp. The Sling Blade drops Reigns but a Superman Punch is good for two. Balor kicks him down again, only to have the Coup de Grace broken up. The spear gives Reigns the clean pin at 14:36.
Rating: B. This felt like a main event match and there’s nothing wrong with Reigns getting the clean pin. Balor pinned him when it mattered a lot more and he’s a made man for a long time as a result. Also none of this really matters when we’re coming up on the pay per view anyway. Good match though.
The lights go out and the announcers are surprised when it’s Bray Wyatt on screen. Wyatt wants to slay Lesnar. Oh and he’ll beat Rollins too.
Seth Rollins says he slayed the King so he can slay the Beast.
Golden Truth comes out for a match but Goldust turns on Truth and beats him down. Goldust: “That’s what’s up.”
Enzo Amore vs. Apollo Crews
Enzo talks about being from New Jersey but Titus O’Neil comes out and does his own version of the signature entrance, complete with a bit of the dance. Cass says hang on a second because the plans have changed.
Big Cass vs. Titus O’Neil
Titus is in a suit and beats Cass down but stops to take the belt off. Enzo offers a distraction though and a big boot ends Titus at 1:15.
Enzo takes a selfie with Crews, who enziguris him post match. That only kind of felt like a heel turn.
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins starts fast and sends Bray outside for a…..dive. Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade though and we take a break. Back with Wyatt still in control and grabbing a superplex. Another Rock Bottom is broken up though and….let’s have a graphic for the pay per view match IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MATCH.
Anyway Seth tosses him to the floor for a…..dive before Bray hits one of the hardest clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Another Rock Bottom gives Bray two but Seth gets in his low superkick for the same. Bray gets tossed outside (third time) for a top rope….oh you get the idea by now but Samoa Joe comes in for the most obvious DQ in recent memory at 14:13.
Rating: C-. As repetitive as the match was, it really took a……dive as they kept doing the same stuff over and over again. It also doesn’t help that I had the DQ written up before the match started but to be fair, that’s the logical ending and the right place to have Joe on the show. Good enough match but nothing great.
Bray and Joe beat on Rollins until Wyatt hits Joe with Sister Abigail to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This show’s one job was to set up Extreme Rules and they did that in spades with three title matches and the five way being announced. After that, everything else was basically a bonus, including a title match, a team splitting up and a pair of heel turns. That’s quite the show and we had some good wrestling involved as well. No it wasn’t a great show but it did its job and was entertaining. What else can you really want from a show?
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus – Swanton Bomb
Alicia Fox b. Sasha Banks – Ax kick
Miz b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose kicked him low
Neville/TJP b. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries – Detonation Kick to Gallagher
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor – Spear
Big Cass b. Titus O’Neil – Big boot
Seth Rollins b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when Samoa Joe interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Ring of Honor TV – May 10, 2017: This Is Getting Really Old
Ring of Honor Date: May 10, 2017 Location: William J. Myers Pavilion, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Colt Cabana, Ian Riccaboni
It’s the go home show for War of the Worlds but I have no idea what that means in Ring of Honor terms. Odds are we’ll hear about the show here (maybe even more than the handful of matches we already know) and then move on to some one off shows for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.
Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. The Squad
The Bucks are defending and that would be Mike Mondo and Ken Doane. The Squad runs in and attacks from behind before stopping for a cheer. Colt isn’t sure if they have spirit but they eat stereo superkicks for their efforts. A top rope double stomp/reverse DDT have Mikey in big trouble and we hit that TOO SWEET.
Stereo dives make things even worse but Ken actually takes over on Matt. Back from a break with Mikey dancing and grabbing a chinlock as this isn’t the most serious match in the world. Matt finally rolls out of a piledriver for a dropkick on Ken, only to have Matt get cut off again. We hit the awkward dancing from both former (Current?) cheerleaders but a toss into a gutbuster is broken up.
The hot tag brings in Nick a few seconds later as things speed way up. The slingshot X Factor into the moonsault from the apron has the Squad reeling. Mikey comes back with a snapmare driver (basically a falling Diamond Cutter) and it’s back to Doane….who eats a superkick. A Boss Man Slam cuts Nick off but quadruple superkicks and a flip dive set up the Meltzer Driver for the pin on Mikey at 9:14.
Rating: B-. Far better match than I was expecting here with the Squad more than looking like legit challengers. The Bucks were full on faces here despite being heels (I know, I know, something about Japan) and I kind of like the idea of them finally picking something. You knew the titles weren’t changing hands here but at least it was fun.
Matt Taven is ready to win the World Title because unlike Christopher Daniels being in the twilight of his career, he’s in his prime. This is for a house show defense.
The Briscoe Brothers are ready for the Rebellion. Jay wants a piece of Shane Taylor and I want a piece of whoever designed the Six Man Tag Team Titles because they look like they’re upside down.
Punishment Martinez vs. Beer City Bruiser
This could be ugly and Silas Young joins commentary to make things even worse. Bruiser knocks Martinez into the corner to start and gets two off a crossbody of all things. Martinez actually heads outside, leaving Bruiser to hit a running cannonball off the apron. Back from a break with Bruiser getting kicked off the top, only to have Martinez COMPLETELY miss the running dive over the corner. Even the announcers rip on him for missing that badly.
Bruiser belly to back suplexes him onto the apron as Colt wants to know how much Bruiser weighs in chili dogs. Martinez shrugs it off and hits a springboard spinning flip dive for two. Back to back cannonballs crush Martinez but he pops up for the slow motion slugout. A sitout Boss Man Slam gives Bruiser two more but he misses yet another cannonball. Martinez’s sitout chokeslam is good for the pin at 6:45.
Rating: D+. I’m really not a fan of Bruiser but he was doing way more than usual here. Martinez should be squashing people though and getting beaten up for a long stretch of this match by someone like Bruiser isn’t the right way to get him moving up the card. Not terrible here but a badly laid out match.
Marty Scurll says Matt Sydal won’t win the TV Title.
Adam Cole says the Bullet Club is united and they’ll prove it tonight in the main event.
Adam Cole/Cody vs. Christopher Daniels/Dalton Castle
Jay Lethal is on commentary and thankfully Colt keeps ripping on Castle and the Boys due to past issues. As another nice point, they go to a break and come back with the opening bell. That’s always nice to see. Cody and Castle get things going and let’s look at the commentary team.
Feeling out process to start until Cody gets clotheslined to the floor. Dalton does his slow walk across the ring and Daniels throws in some fanning. The champ comes in to face Cody with Daniels getting in the springboard moonsault for two. It’s off to Cole, who is wrestling in a shirt for some reason. Daniels gets away for the hot tag to Castle who gets in a double clothesline before being dropped with a low blow. Cole throws Dalton’s face into a boot (clearly didn’t make contact thanks to a bad angle) and it’s off to a double underhook hold.
The Beautiful Disaster hits Cole by mistake and Adam walks off instead of tagging. We take a break and come back with Castle grabbing a belly to back, allowing the hot tag to Daniels. An Iconoclasm gets two on Cody but Daniels has to bail out of the BME. Angel’s Wings is loaded up but here’s Cole with a superkick and the Last Shot. Cross Rhodes gives Cody the pin on Daniels at 10:34. Jay: “I don’t get what’s going on.”
Rating: C-. Not bad here with the match mainly serving as a way to help build up for the triple threat match. The tease of the Club breaking up was fine but it doesn’t work that well when it’s all fixed in five minutes. I don’t think there’s any secret about the fact that Cole is leaving the company soon enough so the split is likely going down soon enough. Watchable match but pretty much paint by numbers.
The Bucks come out to celebrate but the Club actually leaves instead of destroying Daniels. Lethal comes to the ring to yell at Daniels about adding Cody to make the match a triple threat. Cody comes back in and sends Lethal into Daniels, only to have Jay hit a double Lethal Injection.
We get a quick pay per view rundown to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem and it’s the same thing that always happens for ROH: they’re coming up on a pay per view that had nine matches on the card. TWO of them were mentioned here, one of which was in a thirty second promo. I didn’t even know most of the card until the quick package running it down at the end of the show. As usual, the solution is to just bring in all the New Japan guys, push one match, and be done with it. We’ll likely get to the fallout by June when it’s time to set up the next pay per view. Such is life around here, which gets really tiring.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Armageddon 2002: Nine H’s and a Not So Secret Video
Armageddon 2002 Date: December 15, 2002
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
In case you didn’t get this from the Raw’s leading up to this show, this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. It’s so much about them that we’re seeing them fight three times so HHH can win the title for the second time in just over three months. Oh and we might see Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie’s, ahem, home movie. Let’s get to it.
The opening video has Freddie Blassie quoting the Bible about Armageddon, followed by The End Is Here playing over shots of bombs and missiles. And various wrestlers of course. That’s not disturbing whatsoever.
Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Goldust/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian
Jericho and Christian are defending, Booker/Goldust are having issues believing they should keep teaming, the Dudleys are REALLY fired up to be here, Regal and Storm are on a roll and this is under elimination rules. Got all that? Storm forearms Bubba down and actually gets the better of a quick slugout, only to have Bubba shout DIE CANADIAN SCUM and hit a corner splash.
Goldust comes in to uppercut Regal but the champs take over in the corner. That goes nowhere either so Bubba comes in for some stereo Flip Flop and Flying into the Bionic elbows in a somewhat odd visual. Everything breaks down and Christian eats 3D but Regal tags himself in. A small package (and an ugly one at that) gets rid of the Dudleys (with JR not being clear on what happened), followed by a Goldust rollup to get rid of Storm and Regal to put us down to two. Or what it should have been in the first place without the extra five minutes being a waste of time.
The Hart Attack with the side kick instead of a clothesline drops Jericho with Christian making the save. Goldust misses a crossbody and falls to the floor, where Jericho sends him into the steps. We settle into the regular tag formula with Christian putting on an abdominal stretch, followed by a double stomping in the corner. JR explains the concept of cutting the ring off, which isn’t something you hear explained that often. Perhaps because it’s rarely done outside of a Revival match anymore.
Goldust finally catches christian in a sidewalk slam and it’s off to Booker with a very nice pop. The Walls are countered into a small package for two but the second attempt works better with Booker in a lot of trouble. Goldust comes in with a bulldog for the save, followed by crotching Christian on the top. A missile dropkick gives Booker two but Jericho gets in a belt shot. The Lionsault is good for two but Booker grabs the Book End for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B-. So the first two eliminations really didn’t need to happen and those teams could have been added to the show in their own match. Goldust and Booker FINALLY winning the titles is the right call and they went about as far as they could before getting the belts. I would have had Goldust get the win to prove he’s not the weak link but just getting the win is all they needed to do.
Booker tells Goldust that he’s not a weak link.
Brock Lesnar asks Josh Matthews who he is and says he’ll make an impact in the Big Show vs. Kurt Angle match.
Edge vs. A-Train
Edge has a bad knee coming in and is here to defend Rey Mysterio’s honor. A-Train shoves him into the corner to start before catching a crossbody with ease. Thankfully Edge tries to speed things up, only to get shoved into the barricade for his efforts. A charge only hits post though as the fast start continues. Back in and A-Train gets two off a powerslam before it’s off to the chinlock less than four minutes in. Edge makes his comeback as this is feeling more and more like a TV match every second.
The half nelson faceplant gives Edge two and the announcers keep calling A-Train Albert. A super spinning Edge-o-Matic gets two (with Edge pulling the trunks WAY too far up in the front) but A-Train bicycle kicks him out of the air for two. It’s chair time but Edge gets in a baseball slide to knock it away. The chokebomb gives A-Train two and the spear gives Edge the same, only to have A-Train chair Edge in the knee for the pitiful DQ.
Rating: D-. I really need more from this on a pay per view as this felt like the match to set up the pay per view rematch. A-Train just hitting him in the knee for the ending doesn’t work and certainly doesn’t help him. Unless Edge is taking time off thanks to a big post match attack, I really don’t get this one.
There’s a post match attack, but it’s Edge unloading on A-Train with the chair as his knee looks fine. What in the world was the point of this?
Big Show wants to go yell at Stephanie but Heyman talks him out of it, making Stephanie sound like a mob boss who would have Show sleeping with the fishes if he dared cross her. Heyman promises to take care of things.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit
The announcers basically call this a #1 contenders match though that’s not official. Eddie takes him to the mat and works on the leg as we hear about their very long history together. It’s off to a headlock on Benoit, who manages to tie their legs together to keep Eddie in check. A suplex sets up a chinlock on Guerrero but he reverses into a shortarm scissors as they’re keeping it on the mat so far.
Benoit powers out in that Bob Backlund display that looks less impressive every time a smaller guy does it. Eddie keeps it on the mat with a headscissors and the fans think it’s boring. I’m sorry they’re not big, bald and hairy but try to let something fresh into your wrestling minds people. Eddie sends him outside for a good looking dive before working on Benoit’s knee back inside.
A variety of leglocks have Benoit screaming in pain but he finally pops up for the rolling German suplexes. Benoit gets all the way to seven before Eddie reverses into four German suplexes of his own. The frog splash is good for two and Eddie gives a great stunned look. They both fall out to the floor with Eddie getting back in first, allowing Chavo to run out with a belt shot to the back of Benoit’s head. That’s only good for two as well, more or less guaranteeing that Benoit is winning here.
A modified Lasso From El Paso sends Benoit straight to the ropes, allowing him to pop up with a heck of a powerbomb. More Chavo interference fails and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, which Eddie mostly no sells for another Lasso. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface. Eddie goes for the ropes so Benoit switches arms and rolls into the middle of the ring to make Guerrero tap.
Rating: A-. Were you expecting this to be anything other than great? You have two guys this talented and this familiar with each other with over sixteen minutes on pay per view so of course it’s the likely match of the night. I know they can do this stuff in tag matches but it’s refreshing to have them just do a great singles match. Benoit was the pretty clear winner here but Eddie was more than up to the task here. That switching of arms at the end made Benoit look even better though and he more than deserves a title shot at this point.
Paul Heyman comes in to Stephanie’s office and talks about how much he’d love to sign Benoit. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it because Lesnar’s suspension is already lifted. They talk about the integrity of the title with Stephanie saying we’ll have to wait and see what Lesnar does tonight. This has been a commercial for the show you’ve already paid for.
Long recap of Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson. Dawn decided to marry Torrie’s dad, presumably to get to Torrie. It turned out that she just wanted to sleep with Torrie so she offered to call off the marriage for one night for her. Of course it was filmed and Dawn is threatening to show the tape tonight because Torrie enjoyed it. That would be the worst thing ever for some reason you see.
Here are Dawn and Al, who has no issue with any of this for some reason. Or maybe he’s miserable. You never can tell with him. Anyway Dawn recaps things again and says Torrie isn’t here tonight before showing the footage. After seeing everything we saw on Smackdown (twice now) before we get to the new stuff. Dawn gives her champagne and eats a strawberry before unzipping Torrie’s leather jacket revealing…..pretty much the same kind of outfit Torrie would wrestle in.
Dawn takes off Torrie’s skirt to leave Torrie in her lingerie before taking off her own robe. She whispers that men can’t give Torrie what she can. They kiss and Torrie seems to be getting into it but Dawn says freeze the footage. She tells Al that we’re going to keep going so we see more kissing before Al stops it for good. Dawn promises they can make their own tape to make up for it and we’re done. This ate up about ten minutes and was every bit the waste of time you would expect it to be.
Kane vs. Batista
Batista has Ric Flair in his corner but gets dropped by an early neckbreaker. An elbow gives Kane two but Batista hot shots him onto the ropes. Kane fights back but gets sent outside where he beats up Flair for fun. Back in and Kane boots the rookie down but the top rope clothesline misses. The Batista Bomb doesn’t work though and Kane hits him low for a rather heelish move. The spinebuster gives Batista two but he walks into a chokeslam. Flair comes in for a distraction though, allowing the Batista Bomb to put Kane away.
Rating: D-. This wasn’t just a bad match but it felt like it belonged on a TV show instead of a pay per view. Batista looked lost for the most part with the fans giving up on the match after he couldn’t pick Kane up for the powerbomb. On top of that it was basically a handicap match with Flair involved, which makes for a really bad use of time.
Here are John Cena and B Squared (yes Squared again instead of Two) to rap about how awesome they are and how it doesn’t matter who they tick off. Marcia Brady is mentioned as well. This took less than two minutes.
We recap the women’s triple threat match. Victoria took the title from Trish Stratus at Survivor Series and then Jacqueline beat Victoria in a non-title match on Raw because SHE’S FROM TEXAS AND ALL TOUGH AND STUFF LIKE THAT. Now we’re having a triple threat for the title.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria
Victoria is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie being sent outside as Jerry wonders if Victoria is horizontally accessible. A superplex drops Trish with Jackie stealing two as you can hear JR getting annoyed at Lawler’s jokes. The challengers make a wish on Victoria’s legs and send her outside, leaving Trish to hit a neckbreaker on Jackie. The Chick Kick drops Jackie again but Trish takes WAY too long covering, followed by a slow count, which really screams blown save. Victoria grabs the title and hits Trish, setting up the pin on Jackie to retain.
Rating: D+. They were trying here but Jackie didn’t need to be involved and the timing really hurt things here. Trish vs. Victoria is one of the better feuds they’ve had in a long time but they’ve pretty much reached the peak of the feud. We’re pretty much just waiting for Lita to come back at this point and that makes things a bit hard to sit through.
Victoria steals Trish’s hat.
Angle keeps trying to convince Lesnar to be in his corner, including promising him retribution if Brock joins him. We see the end of the Survivor Series title match but Lesnar still won’t say anything.
We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. There isn’t much to talk about though as Show won the title four weeks ago and Angle won a four way to earn the title shot. Lesnar was suspended for a few weeks in a side angle that added absolutely nothing to this, aside from giving us more Stephanie TV time.
Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show
Angle is challenging and there’s no Brock to start, meaning he’ll be the official run-in. Show easily tosses him down to start so Angle tries a front facelock. That just earns him a toss over the top and right onto Heyman, but the distraction allows Angle to dump Show out to the floor. Back in and Show continues his dominance with a clothesline and suplex as Angle can’t get anything going so far.
The match is so one sided that Cole gets to list off all of Big Show’s measurements that you’ve probably memorized over the years. The Final Cut gets two as the fans chant USA with Tazz pointing out that Big Show is an American too. We hit the bearhug that you knew was coming until Angle bites his way out. Angle chokes him down and gets most of a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Tazz: “Big Show is the same size as Kurt Angle right now!”. That line still drives me crazy and it’s even worse when they’re both down.
Angle dropkicks the leg out and a good looking missile dropkick gives Kurt two. The moonsault press only has Angle’s feet hit Show in the head and the Angle Slam is good for two. The ankle lock goes on in the middle of the ring and the kickoff sends Angle into the referee. You can see a lot of the crowd looking towards the entrance as the Brock chants start up. Heyman throws in a chair which goes upside Show’s head for two with the kickout wiping the referee out again. Cue A-Train to break up the ankle lock but here’s Brock to F5 Show to give Angle the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. This was watchable because they had Big Show laying around for about a third of the match but it could have been FAR worse. At least they did the smart thing by giving the title to one of the hot acts who can have a great match with just about anyone, thereby opening the doors to a ton of fresh opponents, including Lesnar down the line. It’s not good but this could have been a disaster, so we’ll call this a success.
Rob Van Dam is at the World and picks Shawn to win.
Long recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They hate each other, they beat each other up, now it’s three matches for the price of one because we need that much HHH in our lives. This is 2/3 falls with the first fall being a street fight, the second being a cage match and the third being a ladder match.
Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels
Michaels is defending and HHH’s right quad, as in the leg that he didn’t tear, is taped up. Shawn has that weird sleeves made of mirrors thing that he wore at the 1997 Royal Rumble. To be fair he’s the only one who could pull that off. Before the bell, the referee ejects Flair because THIS IS THE KIND OF IMPORTANT MATCH THAT NEEDS TO BE FAIR!
Shawn hammers away to start and skins the cat before baseball sliding HHH into the barricade. A plancha misses though (with HHH not really moving so I’m not sure what Shawn was aiming at, save for maybe a trashcan that HHH had pulled out) and HHH is limping less than two minutes in. Shawn’s second dive hits the trashcan (at least it was from the ropes instead of over them so it was a different spot) but HHH can’t follow up.
Instead Shawn grabs a table but has a trashcan kicked into his face. HHH’s limping is getting worse and since this is getting AT LEAST half an hour, we could be in for a very long night. HHH sets up a second table next to the one Shawn loaded up but gets suplexed back inside for two. The jumping knee with the bad leg knocks HHH down as well and I get more and more worried about how bad this could get.
It’s time to start in on Shawn’s back but Shawn gets in a side slam to drive HHH through the chair in a smart counter. They head outside again with Shawn working on the back despite THE BIG BANDAGE ON HHH’S LEG. Even Lawler is pointing out the lapse in thinking so you know it’s bad. HHH blocks the superkick and twists the knee around, meaning they’re both working on the others injured body part. A chop block sets up the standing Flair working on the leg package, capped off by the Figure Four.
Shawn turns it over after nearly two minutes in the hold so HHH goes with a trashcan lid to the head for two instead. They head up the aisle with HHH sending him into the set before finding the barbed wire 2×4. HHH isn’t done though as he lights it on fire first. Shawn takes it away though and hits HHH with it, drawing some blood. It had better given that it’s a flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire.
Back to the ring with HHH on his feet despite being hit in the head with something that should have killed him. HHH plays Raven with a drop toehold to send Shawn into an open chair but the Pedigree is countered with a low blow. Not that it matters as HHH hits the bad knee and gets the Pedigree for the first fall.
The cage is lowered and it’s pinfall or escape (I’m assuming Fink forgot to say submission but JR doesn’t say it either). Before the cage is all the way down, HHH throws in some more weapons, including a table and chair. One heck of a chair shot knocks Shawn sillier and the table is set up in the corner. Shawn gets catapulted into the cage and both guys are busted. The pace gets even slower and Shawn hammers away with right hands. They fight up to the top of the cage and here’s Flair back at ringside because why not.
Ric sets up two more tables on top of the original two as they slug it out on the top without much going on. There’s no big crash though as they go back inside with HHH getting crotched on the ropes. The top rope elbow seems to suggest that Shawn’s knee is much better in a hurry….and Flair is in the cage because the referee is incompetent. Shawn cuts him off and chairs both guys in the head, naturally making Flair bleed as well.
With Shawn beating up Flair, HHH walks away from the open door (some cerebral assassin) and it’s back to back superkicks to drop the villains. The stupidity continues as Shawn doesn’t cover or run out of the cage but rather sets up another table (that would be five I believe). A splash off the top of the cage drives HHH through the wood and ties things up. So now it’s a ladder match with both guys basically dead.
A very bloody Flair is helped out as the cage is raised and Shawn gets a ladder. Various ladder shots (which Lawler says is like being hit by a car) have HHH in even more trouble and Shawn suplexes him onto the ladder for good measure. The ladder is set up in the corner but Shawn misses the huge splash, landing right on his face.
HHH gets in a weird Pedigree as he has to stretch the bad leg out so it doesn’t slam into the mat. The fans are busy looking at something in the crowd as HHH makes the slow climb. That’s broken up but Shawn’s slow climb is countered with a shove through the tables, allowing HHH to climb up and regain the title.
Rating: C-. This is a really, really hard one to grade but let’s get the big problem out of the way first: there was no reason to have this be more than one fall. Either do a street fight (which was boring but watchable) or one of the other two but the whole three falls thing was ridiculous with the ladder match not even breaking eight minutes. The cage match was basically a continuation of the street fight with just one attempt at escaping, plus Flair just walking into the cage, making it a complete waste of time. HHH looked horrible out there but Heaven forbid we don’t cater to him, bad leg or not.
There’s a good match in there somewhere, but it only works with HHH on two good legs. On top of that, this needed to be cut in half. It’s just under forty minutes total and easily could have been about twenty with every bit as much effect. Shawn looked passable but old, which isn’t exactly the best combination in the world. The match could have been better but with what they were going for here, it’s a pretty hard disappointment. In other words, cut out HHH’s ego and it’s probably far better.
Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty solid surprise with a few good matches (and one great one) but there’s also a lot of really bad stuff dragging that right back down. The Dawn and Torrie stuff really started bringing the show down as it’s not only stupid but fairly worthless to anyone with the internet at that point. You can see almost anything you want so two women in lingerie isn’t quite enough.
The problem is the rest of the show takes a big dip after that with the best match probably being Angle vs. Big Show, mainly due to it not being forty five minutes counting intros. The first half of the show is better but it hits a hard wall and there’s really no recovering from that point on. I was expecting a disaster though so this was a good bit better than I thought I’d get.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – December 12, 2002: It’s Like NXT But Not
Smackdown Date: December 12, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the final stop before the final pay per view of the year and there are two major stories at the moment. First up we have Kurt Angle becoming the new #1 contender to Big Show’s Smackdown World Title, meaning the hopes of most of the fans are on his Olympic shoulders. Other than that we have the sports entertainment shock value of Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. Let’s get to it.
The opening video recaps the Torrie/Dawn stuff from last week with Torrie agreeing to spend a night with Dawn to keep Dawn from marrying her dad. They’re really not hiding the soap opera nonsense are they?
Opening sequence.
Rikishi vs. B2
Now it’s B Two instead of B Squared. Sounds like a vitamin. Either way he poses at Rikishi and gets punched in the face but it’s way too early for the Stinkface. Bull’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Cena offers a distraction and gets kicked in the face. The second distraction works a bit better though as Bull hits him low, allowing Cena to chain Rikishi in the head for the cheap pin.
Torrie Wilson arrives and Jan the Makeup Lady says she’s been hearing rumors about what happened in the hotel room last week. I thought it was pretty obvious given how things started but maybe we need to spell it out: they did a Jungle Book jigsaw puzzle and watched the Facts of Life.
Earlier today, Kurt Angle interrupted a Brock Lesnar autograph signing and offered to get the suspension lifted in exchange for Lesnar being in his corner on Sunday. If Brock helps him, he’ll get the first title shot. Lesnar says if the suspension is lifted, he’ll think about it.
Big Show is with Albert, who is now named A-Train (certainly an improvement), and Paul Heyman. New interviewer Josh Matthews (shoot me now) comes in to ask about the Lesnar/Angle situation and the champ is livid. For reasons that I don’t even want to be able to fathom, these two segments were edited off the WWE Network version. The only way to know about them is Cole’s recap in the next match.
Show and Heyman yell at Stephanie, who throws them out.
Bill DeMott vs. Shannon Moore
DeMott is now an official bully, meaning he and Ryback should go out for soup and grape juice. Moore tries to hammer away but gets thrown around and smashed with a clothesline. A powerslam sets up a heck of a moonsault to give Bill the pin.
Now Stephanie will hear from Heyman and Show, the former of whom doesn’t want to hear about Scott Steiner. As for Lesnar, he makes Smackdown money so the suspension is lifted. Then why did she suspend him in the first place? To prove that he’ll get a week off if he breaks the rules? This was Stephanie showing off her power side with the hands on the hips and lethal sneer. To be fair the look works for her.
Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Billy Kidman/Chris Benoit
Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie to start in a preview of their match on Sunday. An early Crossface attempt doesn’t work but a backdrop has Eddie in trouble. It’s a double tag to bring in Kidman, only to have Eddie cheap shot him a few times to take over. The slow stomping begins and a spinebuster gives Chavo two.
Even Eddie can’t powerbomb Kidman but it’s still not enough for the hot tag. Kidman starts wildly swinging to slow Eddie down and a powerbomb is enough for the hot tag to Benoit. Eddie gets caught in the Crossface and we take an abrupt break (just like on Raw). We come back with Kidman holding Chavo in a chinlock as we see Eddie tapping during the break, albeit behind the referee’s back.
The champs take over with Eddie legbarring Kidman very close to the corner. He really should know better than that and I don’t have much sympathy for him when Benoit comes in and kicks Eddie in the head. Eddie blocks the tag though and grabs a keylock. Some good old fashioned cheating sees Chavo switch places for a keylock of his own. Chavo decks Benoit off the apron but Kidman gets in an ankle scissors.
The referee doesn’t see a tag but Benoit comes in with the rolling German suplexes anyway. Chris Swan Dives onto Eddie for two (with Cole asking why there’s a count) as everything breaks down. Benoit Crossfaces Chavo for the tap but the referee is looking at Kidman, who misses the Shooting Star. Eddie grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes to retain. So he watches Benoit cover but not when he has the Crossface? Biased jerk.
Rating: B. It’s almost like the tag team formula works very well when you let it have the time to go somewhere. These four work very well together and, as usual, Kidman proves that the cruiserweights can easily hang with the heavyweights, thereby proving that the weight divisions are stupid in wrestling. Great match, as you would expect.
Torrie goes to yell at Dawn and says what happened in the hotel room was personal and just between them. Dawn can’t believe what she’s hearing and takes off her robe to reveal lingerie. Torrie doesn’t seem to mind it at first before yelling at Dawn to cut it out. There hasn’t been one lie though and Torrie doesn’t deny it. She does however demand that the wedding be called off tonight. Torrie leaves and Dawn smiles.
Raw Retro: HHH interrupts Stephanie and Test’s wedding. Again, edited off the Network but it could be because the Motorhead theme is edited over My Time.
Here’s Dawn, after the fastest change into a dress in recorded history, for a chat. She asks Al to come out here and confirms that everything he’s heard about her and Torrie is true. Al doesn’t seem to care so Dawn talks about looking into Torrie’s eyes and seeing Al in them. If that’s not creepy enough, every time she kissed Torrie’s lips, it was like she was kissing him.
Dawn knows Al will never find a woman like her and he wants to marry her anyway. Torrie comes out for some of the most violent slapping you’ll ever see so Dawn promises to show the full tape on Sunday to prove how much Torrie enjoyed it. This is pure trash but Al’s “acting” is so bad that it’s hard not to laugh. He just stands there with no reactions, even to the fact that his fiance slept with his daughter and they kiss alike.
Tazz immediately starts basically promising various adult material on Sunday as we look at replays. This really is the second biggest Smackdown story (and not that far from first). On a show with the Smackdown Six mind you.
Jamie Noble vs. Crash
Tazz thinks Jamie’s cousin Nunzio is 6’11 and 320lbs and works for the mob. Jamie elbows Crash in the face to start and they slug it out with Crash getting the better of it. A faceplant gives Crash two and it’s Crash Landing time, only to have Nunzio (ECW’s Little Guido, who Tazz suddenly doesn’t recognize despite the ECW chants) come in for the DQ.
The double beatdown ensues but Nidia doesn’t look pleased.
Scott Steiner arrives.
Stephanie comes to the ring to sign Steiner as Tazz and Cole look at WWE Magazine, naturally featuring their boss. Steiner takes the pen but won’t sign because last week, after the cameras stopped rolling in the limo, nothing happened. See, Stephanie didn’t put out for him because she’s wholesome, unlike that Torrie Wilson. Now why would you think Stephanie was on her level in the second story based on sex in exchange for a deal on this show?
Anyway, Stephanie suggests that she’ll do it if he signs so Scott puts her on the table and wants to go right now. Stephanie goes on a rant about her moral standards but Scott doesn’t want to hear it. If he can’t trust her in his personal life, he can’t trust her in his business life. Therefore, he’s signing with Raw. Eric Bischoff comes out to gloat and Stephanie throws a fit.
We get an update on Rey Mysterio’s knee injury, which is worse than they thought. There’s no word on his return time.
Edge has a knee injury of his own but he’s ready to focus on his tag match tonight. Angle comes in and agrees to have Edge’s back in the tag.
PPV rundown. Tazz says Eddie vs. Benoit has five stars written all over it.
Edge/Kurt Angle vs. Big Show/A-Train
Good thing the production team had a new song with a train whistle ready in case someone changed their name. Edge and Big Show start things off as Cole goes over Angle and Edge’s history together. A chop staggers the Canadian so it’s off to Angle, who gets A-Train. One heck of a shoulder drops Kurt and it’s back to Edge, who unloads on A-Train in the corner.
A-Train throws Edge hard into the corner and it’s time for Heyman to start the trash talk. For reasons of general large headedness, A-Train takes his sweet time getting around to Edge’s bad knee before handing it off to Big Show for some knee work of his own. The slow beating begins with Show laying on the leg.
After more lifeless offense from the giants, Edge gets in a tornado DDT to stun A-Train and the hot tag brings in Angle. A German suplex actually sends A-Train flying as everything breaks down. Edge spears A-Train down instead of Big Show but the big bald pops up and chairs Edge in the back. The Angle Slam drops both monsters but a Heyman distraction lets Show chokeslam Kurt for the pin.
Rating: D+. They did what they could here but with Edge on a bad wheel and Big Show/A-Train as the heel team, you’re only going to get so far. The match wasn’t bad but this better lead to Angle winning the title on Sunday as it’s clear Show can only do the bare basics at this point. A-Train was trying but calling him limited would be an understatement.
Overall Rating: C-. You know what this felt like? An early 2017 episode of NXT. You know there’s talent there and the people behind the scenes know what they’re doing but there’s only so much you can do when you’re this limited. We’ve done the Smackdown Six matches so many times and since Lesnar is suspended, you have to come up with something fresh.
That means you’re pretty much stuck with short matches to build up new talent without exposing how bad they really are. This show wasn’t the worst but it’s clear that they’re trying something new, which isn’t the easiest thing in the world. They need more time and better talent but things could be rough for the time being.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Main Event Date: May 11, 2017 Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It’s the British version of the supplemental show, meaning we get to see the highlights from a pretty dull episode of Monday Night Raw. You can typically guess what you’re going to get from something like this but there’s always the chance, albeit somewhat unlikely, that they might throw in a curve ball. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Curt Hawkins vs. Aleister Black
Hawkins says the King of England called him on the telly and thanked him for making stars. That would be Black from NXT, which is quite the surprise. You’ll normally see NXT stars at house shows but it’s rare for them to be on TV like this. Black flips over him to start and the threat of a kick sends Hawkins outside. We hit the pose in the middle of the ring but Black nips up to avoid a charge, only to get punched down for a bit. Hawkins’ chinlock doesn’t get him very far as Black knees him in the face and uses his boot to raise Hawkins to his feet. Black Mass (spinning kick to the head) gives Black the pin at 2:02.
From Raw for the first time.
Kalisto vs. Braun Strowman
Braun says he’s not wrestling this match and then kicks Kalisto in the face. Cue Roman Reigns though and we’ll say it’s a no contest at thirty seconds.
Three straight Superman Punches put Strowman on the floor but he still manages to kick a charging Reigns in the chest. Reigns gets the sling off the bad arm and sends it into the post over and over. A bunch of chair shots knock Strowman into the crowd.
And now, an actual match from Main Event.
Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe
They head straight to the floor to start the brawl with Joe throwing him around, only to have Seth catch him with a clothesline off the steps. The fight heads back inside with Joe taking over and grabbing a suplex for two. Joe gets in a hard shot to the knee though and Rollins crumbles to the floor as we take a break. Back with Joe dropping a big knee and telling Rollins not to listen to the fans.
The Koquina Clutch is broken up with a jawbreaker and Joe is sent outside for back to back suicide dives. A springboard clothesline gives Seth two but he walks into the snap powerslam for two. Joe can’t powerbomb him though and gets caught in the falcon’s arrow. A turnbuckle pad is pulled off but Seth gets two off a superkick anyway. It’s Rollins being sent chest first into the buckle behind the referee’s back. Joe does it again in front of the referee’s back for the DQ at 14:12.
Rating: C+. The ending hurts this a lot but these two definitely have chemistry. You can likely pencil in the third match for Extreme Rules and that could be quite the fight if they’re given the right gimmick. I like that they didn’t have the match end clean and after the first one ended on a fluke, there’s a good chance that the third match is the real payoff.
Joe chokes him out after the match.
Gran Metalik vs. Noam Dar
They fight over the arm to start with an armdrag annoying Dar, mainly due to hair issues. The springboard armdrag sends Dar outside and a top rope Asai moonsault sends us to a break. Back with Dar kicking the leg out to send Metalik out to the floor. Dar grabs an armbar for all of a few seconds before Metalik’s comeback doesn’t get him very far. The Metalik Driver is countered by a kick to the ribs but Dar is dropkicked outside for a suicide dive. Not that it matters as the running kick to the chest ends Metalik at 10:15.
Rating: C-. I like both guys, especially Metalik, but this wasn’t very interesting. These cruiserweight matches for the sake of having a cruiserweight match aren’t great and this was no exception. You can only see these same people having the same matches so many times before it gets really old. Not bad, but old.
We’ll wrap it up here.
Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title with Miz and Maryse on commentary. Bray punches Dean in the head to start as Miz talks about wanting to return prestige to the Intercontinental Title. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work so Bray suplexes him on the floor instead. Back with Bray getting two off a DDT until Dean hits a hard clothesline. Ambrose sends him outside for the running clothesline off the barricade and here are Miz and Maryse to ringside.
Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and Dean hits the top rope elbow. Miz grabs the Intercontinental Title for a distraction so Dean suicide dives onto him. Bray is smart enough to go after the distracted Dean, allowing Miz to hit Ambrose in the back with the title. Sister Abigail finishes Ambrose at 15:12.
Rating: D+. This was a long match to end a very long show. I can live with a dirty finish to set up a title match next week and Miz is someone you can buy as a threat to the title. I’m surprised Ambrose has held the thing as long as he has but it’s time for him to lose it. Adding Bray to the mix could be interesting as well.
Miz poses over Ambrose and hits the catchphrase to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Just a quick show here, which wasn’t all that interesting as usual. Raw was really boring this week and this didn’t make things any better. Black was a VERY big surprise though and that’s one of the best things that can happen on a show like this. It would be really nice to have an NXT talent appear every now and then, if nothing else just to shake things up a bit.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
205 Live Results – May 9, 2017: When Did That Happen?
205 Live Date: May 9, 2017
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips
The show goes international this week on the final part of the UK tour (at least on TV that is). The top stories continue to be Austin Aries vs. Neville for the Cruiserweight Title and Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa, which just keeps going somehow despite being fairly far past its expiration date. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Neville recruiting TJP to help him against Aries and getting annoyed at TJP wanting a title shot as a result. Jack Gallagher was brought in as well but Aries had his back. They’re taking their sweet time setting up a tag match out of this whole thing.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Gallagher for an opening chat. The fans call him Jackie Boy, which Gallagher seems to appreciate. Jack gets to the point: he was attacked by Theodore Jeeves Perkins but this man made the save. Aries comes out to the delight of the London crowd. He’s been brought out here so Jack can toast him, but there’s something more important.
As a point of honor to thank Aries for his help, Gallagher is going to do whatever he can to make sure Aries makes it to his title match at Extreme Rules. It’s time for the beer (Aries: “I’m more of a red whine kind of guy myself.”) and Jack sings a little For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow. Cue Neville with his pyro (Gallagher: “BLOODY H***!”) to interrupt though because he’s sick of these two.
Neville thinks Gallagher is a parody of British people but Aries calls him out for getting disqualified at Payback. The champ holds up the title for a real toast to Aries as TJP runs in from behind. The brawl is on with Gallagher taking a beating until Aries dives over the announcers’ table to take Neville out. TJP takes some beer to the face and the Fivearm puts Neville on the floor. More beer is consumed. This was quite the brawl and makes me want to see these four have a tag match so well done indeed.
Rich Swann runs into Noam Dar and Alicia Fox. Swann thinks Dar is thinking with the wrong part of his body but Fox says she’d never leave a real man (again). Dar promises that Rich will get what he deserves.
Tony Nese vs. Mustafa Ali
We hit the mat after Nese’s early posing doesn’t get him very far. That just earns Tony a cartwheel into a moonsault for a standoff, followed by something like an Octopus hold. Ali his a very big flip dive to the floor as we see Drew Gulak looking distraught in the back. Thankfully we’re back in the ring pretty quickly so I don’t have to listen to the fans shouting TEN every time the referee counts.
They’re already back on the floor though with Nese dropping him face first onto the barricade and table for a nice power display. The key to Nese is that he might not be far stronger than the rest of the division but he’s strong enough that it’s noticeable, which is all it needs to be. A suplex onto the top rope gives Tony two and we hit the torture rack. Nese hits the high flying for a bit with a middle rope moonsault but Ali comes back with a middle rope hurricanrana for a breather.
The rolling neckbreaker sets up another hurricanrana on the floor and Nese is in trouble. That only lasts until he gets back inside though as Tony wins a slugout and drops a knee for two. Ali flips out of a pumphandle slam though and it’s a tornado DDT into the inverted 450 for the pin on Nese at 10:44.
Rating: B. The time seemed to play a major role here as these guys beat each other up for a good while until Ali got the better of it. They’ve got something with people like Gulak and Nese having specific styles to go against the more standard cruiserweight style. It also makes sense to have Ali, the cruiserweight, win on the cruiserweight show. Good match here and one of the better ones the show has had in awhile.
Ariya Daivari yells at the guy who shined his shoes for a sub par job. He also runs into Akira Tozawa and yells at him for messing up a $1500 shirt. Feud coming I’d assume.
Cedric Alexander will be back soon.
Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa
There’s no handshake here (not exactly shocking) and Kendrick kicks him in the face at the bell in retaliation for last week’s attack. Tozawa shrugs it off though and kicks Brian in the chest with a few shouts thrown in for good measure. They head outside though with Kendrick getting in a Sliced Bread to really take over. Tozawa dives back in at nine for a good false finish but he gets caught in a modified armbar.
A camel clutch keeps Tozawa in trouble and a cobra clutch makes it even worse. He certainly has the clutches covered. Tozawa fights up and hits a running boot to the face, followed by a Shining Wizard for two. Kendrick drops him with a dragon suplex but the Captain’s Hook doesn’t last very long. Things speed up until Tozawa gets in a Saito suplex, only to miss a top rope backsplash. Another Sliced Bread is broken up though and Tozawa grabs a rollup for the pin at 9:43.
Rating: B-. I liked this one too as they were again allowed time and put together a good match as a result. Tozawa getting the win is the right call as the feud has gone from Kendrick getting in every cheap shot he could until Tozawa started to turn the tide and then never looked back. Solid match here as the story continues.
Kendrick snaps post match and sends Tozawa into the steps. He gets crushed in between the steps and Kendrick says this is the last lesson: no one messes with him. Tozawa is out (with his eyes open) to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. I don’t know when it happened but at some point this turned into one of the more enjoyable shows of the week. They’ve found a rhythm of going from story to story and making each of them work. The wrestling is good as well and they’ve even set up a match for next week. Good show here and it’s turning into something fun, which I really didn’t expect.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2017: Doth My Eyes Deceive Me?
Impact Wrestling Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re back in the Impact Zone where the main event is over another promotion’s title. I know GFW and Impact have officially merged so it’s not as odd as it sounds but there’s something weird about the Global Force Wrestling World Title match main eventing Impact Wrestling. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.
Opening sequence.
Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal
One fall to a finish. They start with the rapid fire near falls via sunset flips and rollups until Konley and Sydal put on stereo submissions. Neither of those go anywhere so Sydal drops a standing leg on Konley and gives Xavier a jawbreaker at the same time. Konley comes right back with a moonsault for two on Everett with Matt making a save. That’s enough of the wrestling so Everett and Xavier hit back to back dives onto everyone else. Back in and Konley hits a belly to back fisherman’s suplex (that’s a new one) for two on Sydal, only to have Everett grab the Frankendriver for the pin on Xavier at 6:24.
Rating: C. Starting the show with a match is the right call and I’m glad that they’re actually having Everett keep some of the pace instead of just having him lose and more on the next challenger. That’s how you build a division instead of just a champion and a challenger, which should help things a lot.
JB pesters Josh again.
Ethan Carter III promises that we’ll see the Cowboy tonight. I smell an impression.
KM orders a pizza and says his name is Billy. He takes the pizza from the delivery guy and starts eating but refuses to pay. The delivery guy says the bill says Billy but KM says that’s not his name. KM doesn’t like being called a liar and throws the guy out.
Here’s EC3 now dressed as a rather goofy cowboy. He talks about being a SOB from Boca Raton, Florida but sounds more like Waylon Mercy. Carter rode up on his steed Sebastian and sings a modified version of Friends in Low Places. Cue the real Storm for the beatdown but Carter takes off a boot and hits him in the head. Carter manages to handcuff him to the ropes and give him a whipping with a belt. Sounds like a strap match. The beating goes on for a good while with security taking their sweet time breaking it up.
JB annoys Josh again.
Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.
Zane wristlocks Kid to start but Laredo puts him on his shoulders for a missile dropkick from Garza. Things speed up with Idris running the ropes until he floors Garza (who has removed his red pants for some reason) with a hard shoulder. Idris’ charge is countered with a powerbomb onto his partner though Zane is sent to the floor. A 450 gives Laredo the pin at 3:26.
Rating: C-. Sloppy match but they kept things moving fast enough to make this work. Kid and Garza are fine for your run of the mill lucha team and there’s always going to be room for something like that. Abraham and Zane looked good too though and with another tournament coming up for the GFW Tag Team Titles (which can’t just stay vacant and then disappear), it’s nice to actually set something up.
D’Angelo Dinero wants to make Impact great.
Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness
This company doesn’t have a great mental health policy does it? Van Ness is still in the wedding dress and gets two off an early spear. A kick to the face and a running curb stomp is enough for the pin on Storie at 1:36.
Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.
Here’s LAX, some of whom are sporting white face paint, for a Decay funeral. Konnan wants to show their disrespect and tells the champs to pour the ashes on the mat. This company threw their best team at LAX and now you have a dead clown and a monster eating through a feeding tube. Now it’s time for LAX to win the GFW Tag Team Titles for the sake of Latino pride. A fan waves an American flag and refuses to sit down. Cue the Veterans of War for the save, which is the only logical way to go. A fireman’s carry flapjack into a cutter plants Ortiz and LAX runs. Good segment.
Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose
Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.
Rating: D. As usual, I have no idea what the rounds are supposed to add here. Moose could just as easily have hit the says thing for a win in about four minutes and I don’t get how a brief break changes anything. Moose dominated most of the match and won clean so what’s the point of the gimmick with the rounds?
Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.
More JB and Josh.
Dutch Mantel announces the return of Ultimate X between Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Low Ki for the title next week. This would feel like more of a surprise if the Ultimate X wasn’t above the ring.
Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards
Eddie Edwards is in his wife’s corner on crutches. Alisha charges at Love to start and we hear more about JB annoying Josh. Angelina’s comeback is cut off by a Futureshock but Davey Richards gets on the apron. That’s fine with Alisha who kicks the ropes between his legs, only to have Angelina hit Edwards in the back with a chain for the DQ at 2:32.
Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.
Lashley will be watching the main event.
GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus
Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.
They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.
Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.
Rating: B. This felt like a main event match but the same problem persists: these two guys weren’t even in the company three months ago and they’re fighting over a title from a promotion that probably hasn’t even held thirty shows in the three years since it was founded (including all the co-promoted ones). Just drop the GFW stuff and let the Impact title be what matters.
That being said, this was quite the main event as they’ve really turned up the focus on the wrestling as of late. It’s not a classic or anything but I had a good time with it and the battle of the submission holds made it feel like a chess match. El Patron winning makes the most sense and should set up a rematch with Lashley at Slammiversary, which makes the most sense.
Overall Rating: C-. Not the best rating but they’re certainly moving in the right direction. The wrestling is getting better and the stories are getting tighter. That doesn’t mean the stories are great (or even good at times) but I’ll take a focused direction over random chaos almost any day. If they can knock off some of the nonsense (Josh vs. JB, Swoggle vs. Spud, the GFW stuff), they could be in a very good place in a hurry.
Results
Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier
Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham
Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp
Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam
Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain
Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here: