For those of you who aren’t familiar, WrestleCon is kind of like Axxess on a budget with everyone running their own booth. The key differences though are you have a TON of indy wrestlers, plus dozens of legends. You pay a flat rate to get in () and then each autograph and picture you want is an additional charge (I think the most I saw for a regular guest was but most are less than half of that). For the sake of finances, I only paid for a handful of pictures.
Some of these are people I’ve been wanting to meet for as long as I can remember so these are a pretty big deal for me.
Booker T.:
Some of the biggest hands I’ve ever seen, and I have some big ones myself.
Demolition:
Every bit as intimidating as you would expect. I said they were one of my favorites when I was a kid. Ax: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WERE? WE BETTER STILL BE!” He smiled after.
Jerry Lawler:
Probably the nicest guy I met. Very friendly and talked for probably a good three minutes about baseball, my hometown being an old stop for him and UK basketball. I even got to wear the crown. Lawler is every bit as friendly and quick witted as he comes off on TV and he was a blast to talk to. On a random note, Lawler was doing a podcast later that day with Cleveland Indians closer Chris Perez, who was there with him. I’m a lifelong Indians fan so this was a major bonus.
Vader:
This was overcoming a childhood fear. Vader beat Sting. No one could beat Sting!
Lita:
The camera doesn’t do her justice. I know she was hot when she was wrestling but my goodness she’s aged very well. Absolutely stunning and one of those people who kinds of oozes sexiness if that makes sense. On a side note, her handler was a horrible jerk. Lita was signing and the line was a bit long so I asked how long she would be signing. He glares at me and says he doesn’t know (that’s a pretty important thing to be missing). Then when I was paying, he literally snatched the money out of my hand. None of the others were like that all day so it’s not like it can’t be done.
Speaking of the camera not doing justice, here’s what I saw when I left Lawler:
That would be Brooke Tessmacher, Kelly Kelly, Christy Hemme and Candace Michelle. Kelly has some of the most hypnotizing eyes you’ll ever see and again, the camera does not do her justice. The other three are gorgeous but Kelly was just on another level.
And finally, Tito Santana:
My all time favorite midcarder and, before New Day, the original Kofi Kingston. Very nice guy.
Those are just the ones I took pictures with. In addition to those, I said hi to/chatted with the following. Most of these are just a handshake/”nice to meet you” so I’ll just list the name unless there was anything of note. These are in no particular order:
Bobby Heenan (This was sad as he’s in horrible health and can’t close his mouth. It was actually hard to shake his hand.)
Stan Hansen (Talked to him a bit about growing to appreciate his work a bit more. He seemed pleased that someone younger was taking the time to do so.)
Drew Galloway (As lame as it might sound, I talked to him about Mustang Sally for a bit. I know this place isn’t the most close knit group in the world, but whenever I see Drew, she comes to my mind. We also talked about his match the previous night (recap coming) and apparently a lot of people loved it, myself included. He seemed really happy to have entertained that many people. How this guy isn’t WWE Champion I have no idea. He’s WAY taller than I am (about 5’11) too as I was looking up at him.)
Lex Luger
Tully Blanchard (One of the first guys I talked to. Blanchard: “Well you start with the best.”)
D’Lo Brown (He was all over the place today, saying hi to almost anyone he could.)
J.J. Dillon
Lashley (VERY nice guy and I talked to him for a few minutes. I even got to pick up the TNA World Title and it actually took two hands. That thing is WAY heavier than it looks.)
Scott Hall (Long line so just a quick handshake and Too Sweet.)
Ken Shamrock (Nicer than you would expect.)
Rob Van Dam (Very nice, talked to him about seeing him win the Intercontinental Title, which I said was one of the best matches of the night. That seemed to really make him smile so it seems that he’s glad he gets to entertain people.)
Abyss (Nice guy again. Told him that he and AJ had my favorite TNA match ever, which he said was his favorite too (Lockdown 2005).)
Kevin Nash (Again, just a quick Too Sweet as the line was long.)
Slick
Brutus Beefcake
Barry Windham
Shelton Benjamin
Billy Gunn (Found out I wasn’t buying and barely acknowledged me.)
Honky Tonk Man (Found out I wasn’t buying and sneered at me while shaking my hand. Probably the biggest jerk there.)
Luke Williams (Bushwhackers) (I said he had licked my face as a kid and he seemed to act like that was the weirdest comment ever.)
Winter (Gorgeous.)
Laurel Van Ness
Ivelisse (Those eyes man. Just…..dang.)
Thea Trinidad (Barely staying in her top.)
Karlee Perez (Catrina/Maxine) (Gorgeous, built, knew how to dress. That’s as nicely as I can put it.)
Melissa Santos (Funny, looks much better in person and you can hear the announcer in her.)
Taeler Hendrix (That is some pale skin and again, barely staying in her top. I know it might not sound great but I’ve seen swimsuits that showed less.)
Fred Ottman (Tugboat) (Nice guy.)
Christy Hemme (Same as Lita/Kelly: You can feel the energy coming off of her.)
Wade Barrett (Tall, very polite, seemed to be having a great time.)
Steve Lombardi (I said I had watched him lose for years and he said “You mean watching me make money all those years?” Very positive guy and seemed to know what he was in wrestling, which is rare.)
Ryback
Velvet Sky (Again, camera doesn’t do her justice.)
Raquel (BroMans manager for a few weeks) (Looked outstanding.)
Mil Muertes
Wild Samoans
Lillian Garcia (There is no way she’s 50. Like, I don’t believe it’s possible. She seemed touched when I praised her National Anthem performances.)
Torrie Wilson (Got to give her a quick hug. Still looks great.)
Raven (A lot calmer than you would expect. We talked about his podcast for a bit and I asked about the golf cart story at Wrestlemania XVII, which he says is true.)
Ethan Carter III (Funny guy.)
Steiner Brothers (Scott is WAY smaller than he used to be. He’s probably lost 50-60lbs and is downright slim.)
Eugene (Trying to sell a lot until I mentioned I was from Lexington and then had a nice chat about his family being from there.)
One Man Gang (Nicer than you would expect.)
Lisa Marie Varon (Victoria/Tara)
Gary Michael Cappeta (Ring announcers fascinate me for some reason and he was another nice guy.)
Noelle Foley (I know some people say she looks a bit odd at times but she can fill the heck out of a tight black dress. I mentioned that her dad was my all time favorite and she gave me this somewhat surprised look and said he was her favorite too. So she’s got a sense of humor.)
Teddy Long (Very polite and seemed to be having a blast.)
Jack Swagger (Incredibly nice, had a quick chat with him about his ECW run. WAY taller in person, which he says he gets a lot.)
Rock N Roll Express (Their line was almost empty for some reason. You would think they would be a hot ticket right now.)
Sinister Minister
Bill Apter (Asked my name and thanked me for coming out after a chat about his book, which is worth reading.)
Abdullah the Butcher
Al Perez
Al Snow
Aron Rex (Nice guy.)
Bill Alfonso
Brian Blair
Brian Knobbs (Says he’s lost 50lbs and looks like he has.)
Bruce Prichard
Bully Ray (KB: “I met you before at a TNA show.” Bully: “I’m sorry that it sucked.” KB: “You were World Champion at the time.” Bully: “That’s the only part that didn’t suck.”.)
Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Talked with him about his team with Eddie, which he seemed very proud of. Nice guy and much more fun to talk to than I was expecting.)
Cisco (Lucha Underground)
Dink
Dan Severn (Not really a fan but came off as one of the most well spoken there.)
Duane Gill (Gillberg)
Gail Kim (I know she gets on my nerves but DANG she is a beautiful woman in person.)
Gangrel
Harry Smith (The hardest handshake I’ve ever felt by a mile.)
Jake Roberts (Much friendlier than last year at Axxess)
James Storm
Jeff Jarrett (Told him I was from Lexington, which was an old USWA town. He smiled quite a bit.)
John Hennigan (Very cool. He said he and Miz were talking the other day about Miz’s promos about Cena, which were basically the old Dirt Sheet bits. Had a good time talking to him.)
Jim Brunzell
Jim Neidhart
Justin Roberts
Ken Anderson
Kevin Thorn (Talked to him about his OVW days, which seemed to be a good topic for him.)
Marc Mero
Mascarita Dorada (El Torito)
Virgil (Actually really nice.)
MVP
Molly Holly
Pete Gas
Rachel Ellering
Glacier
Rene Dupree
Samuel Shaw
Eddie Edwards
Davey Richards
Rockstar Spud (Talked to him about his match with Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, which is the funniest match I’ve ever seen. He seemed very pleased and was another very nice, humble guy, which I’ve often heard about him.)
Rocky Johnson
Sabu
Sam Houston
Hurricane
Shelley Martinez (Not exactly able to rock the sexy outfits anymore.)
Stevie Ray (With Booker. Has some massive arms.)
Stevie Richards (For you Lee.)
Taya Valkerie (Talked about her stuff from the WrestleCon Supershow. Very nice.)
Tommy Dreamer
Tony Atlas (Thought he was being rude but it turned out he didn’t see me. We talked about the Wrestlemania II battle royal, which he seemed to have very fond memories of.)
Vickie Guerrero
That’s 120 wrestlers in four hours. By comparison, I’ve been to 4 Axxess sessions and might have met 20 people. The names might not be as huge (Ric Flair, Sting, Edge and Christian were at this show too) and the memorabilia might not be there but there are major, major names to meet at a reasonable price. Check this out if you go to Wrestlemania in the future. I’ll be going every single time as it’s a total blast.
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXI: Everyone Talks About It But Rollins Did It
Wrestlemania XXXI Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.
The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.
Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day
One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.
A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.
Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.
Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.
Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.
Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.
Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder
Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.
Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.
Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.
Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.
Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.
It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.
Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.
Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.
Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.
The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.
Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose
Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.
Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.
That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.
Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.
Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.
Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.
Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.
We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.
Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton
Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.
The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.
Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.
Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.
Ronda Rousey is here.
We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.
As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.
HHH vs. Sting
No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.
They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.
Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.
Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.
Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.
Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.
Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.
Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.
Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.
Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.
Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.
AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins
Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.
Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.
Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.
Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.
We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?
Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.
The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).
We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.
US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena
Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.
The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.
The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.
Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.
Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.
Rusev blames Lana for the loss.
Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.
The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.
Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).
Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?
The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.
Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.
Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.
There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.
Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker
The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.
Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.
The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.
Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.
Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.
With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.
Ad for Extreme Rules.
We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.
The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.
WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns
Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.
Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.
A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.
Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!
WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!
Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.
That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.
Fireworks and posing take us out.
Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.
The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.
Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.
Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.
Ratings Comparison
New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd
Original: C+
Redo: B
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Original: D+
Redo: D
Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
Original: B
Redo: B
Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton
Original: B
Redo: B
Sting vs. HHH
Original: B
Redo: B-
Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Rusev vs. John Cena
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker
Original: B
Redo: C+
Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar
Original: B+
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: A
Redo: B+
Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXX: Oh YES I Went There
Wrestlemania XXX Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
I haven’t watched this match since I saw it the day after seeing it live in the Superdome last year. This show received rave reviews at the time (including from me) and it’s going to be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Granted, given how this year’s Wrestlemania has been built up, anything is going to seem like a classic. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
Under elimination rules and the Usos are defending as part of the TWO HOUR preshow. I remember when these things were thirty minutes but that’s the age we live in I guess. These entrances show you how many different paths people can take. Cesaro is in the same place but with a title, Los Matadores are in the exact same spot, the Usos are in the same match minus the belts, Ryback is rebuilding and Curtis Axel got to confront Hulk Hogan on the go home Raw for Wrestlemania. That last part still makes my head shake.
Axel and Jey get things going with the champ grabbing a headlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as JBL says Colter is the greatest war hero in Louisiana since Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson in 1814. History geeks around the world are shaking their heads (Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was a Civil War general who wasn’t born until 1824. JBL meant President Andrew “Not A Stonewall” Jackson) as Jey and Axel chop it out. The Real Americans bail to the floor to avoid a tag attempt and Axel drops Jey with a dropkick.
Off to Ryback for some hard shots but Diego tags himself in to go after Jey. The Usos make a tag and it’s Jimmy vs. Diego but they stop for an OLE! Fernando tags himself in for a dropkick to go with his cousin’s legsweep for two on Jimmy. Cesaro tags Jimmy for the biggest pop of the night so far (that might change) and hammers away before bringing in Swagger for a running clothesline. A springboard back elbow scores for Fernando and, amazingly enough, no one cares.
Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.
Jimmy comes in and jack Jack’s jaw but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well, only to have Jimmy roll out in a hurry. Axel tags himself in and stomps on the champ before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical. Axel and Ryback take turns on Jimmy in the corner until Ryback slaps on a chinlock. That goes nowhere until Jimmy fights up and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. The running Umaga Attack staggers Axel but Jack breaks up a charge with a belly to belly.
Ryback plants Swagger with a spinebuster but Cesaro breaks up the Shell Shock. The Meat Hook is blocked by Swiss Death and the Neutralizer eliminates Ryback to send the fans into a frenzy. We’re down to the Usos vs. the Real Americans, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting in the first place. The Usos send them to the floor for a big double dive, leaving all four on the outside.
Back in and Cesaro gets two off a backbreaker to Jey but the Swing doesn’t work. Instead it’s off to Jimmy but Swagger comes in off a hot tag, only to have Jey hit a Whisper in the Wind for two. Swagger, with a bloody arm, blocks the running Umaga Attack with the Patriot Lock but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Jimmy get tags but the Americans are whipped into each other, setting up a double superkick to Cesaro, followed by the double Superfly Splash to retain the titles.
Rating: B. This was the perfect way to open a show as the fans are now way into things. It’s a pretty meaningless match, proven if nothing else by how similar this year’s pre-show match will be. At the end of the day, that’s the benefit of a multi-team tag match: let the fans get fired up and have a great time while not wasting anything of note. It’s another reason I’m amazed by how little tag wrestling is used. You can use it for something like this but for some reason it’s almost never done.
Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.
The opening video is set in the streets of New Orleans with a jazz band playing. There’s a great opening line of “A good time occurs when we forget what time it is, and man have we lost track of time.” Wrestlers fill up the streets for something like a Mardi Gras parade with shots of famous Wrestlemania entrances, such as Shawn at XII and Heenan/Andre at III, superimposed over the streets. It’s a REALLY cool video and fits the theme of how big a night this really is.
There’s something so amazing looking about the sea of people in the Superdome to watch the show.
We open big with the special host Hulk Hogan, which is really the only way to open a major anniversary Wrestlemania. First line: “Well let me tell you something brother!” Oh yeah he’s got us in the palm of his hand and he knows it. He was there at Wrestlemania I in Madison Square Garden but now it’s thirty years later at Wrestlemania XXX, right here in the Silverdome. I thought he flubbed that line on purpose and I still think it now. Think about it: how many times has that been referenced since, meaning people keep thinking of Hogan? There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s true but I’m almost certain he did it intentionally.
Hogan talks about how there are Wrestlemania moments and surprises, and you never know when one of those moments is going to happen…….CUE GLASS SHATTER! I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my day and I’ve never freaked out more than hearing that sound. That was the moment when you knew you were in for something very, very special that night.
Austin hits all four corners and you can tell he’s fired up to be here. He says it’s good to be back here at the Silverdome and asks if the fans want to see him open a can on Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame and Austin has seen every thing Hogan has done over the years, from Wrestlemania I (WHAT!) through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). Austin appreciates all of Hogan’s accomplishments in this business and shakes his hand. He talks about how tonight is about the current stars…..and here’s the Rock.
After taking his sweet time getting to the ring, Rock and Austin hug for old times’ sake. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rock says all five of his senses are on fire and FINALLY he has come back……to the SUPERdome! He looks across the ring and sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE and he’s had the privilege of facing both of them at Wrestlemania.
They’ve had a huge impact on his career and on everyone’s in the back as well. Tonight Cena is coming out here to fight for hustle, loyalty and respect, but he doesn’t do that if no one told him to say his prayers and take his vitamins 29 years ago. Tonight someone is fighting against the Authority (pause for a YES chant) but that doesn’t happen unless a bald headed SOB didn’t have the guts to fight against the boss.
Rock wants to know why so many babies are born just nine months after Wrestlemania? They’re Rock Babies! Rock gives us a great rhyme about the history of Wrestlemania with the final line saying that everyone else would have lost to the three of them (look it up because just reading it doesn’t do it justice). Everyone hits their catchphrases, beer is consumed and all three songs are played. JBL: “My life is complete.”
Overall Rating: A+. Well that was…..oh dang we’ve got three and a half hours to go. I had my money’s worth right here already.
We get the AWESOME recap video for HHH vs. Daniel Bryan. If there’s one thing this show got right (and there are about a hundred of them), it’s the big recap videos. This is set to Monster by Imagine Dragons and shows Bryan going from an NXT rookie up to the US Champion and then into the main event.
At Summerslam 2013, Bryan pinned John Cena completely clean but guest referee HHH knocked him out so Orton could cash in Money in the Bank. HHH didn’t want Bryan as the face of WWE because he didn’t fit the mold, but Bryan spent the next several months trying to prove himself and get the title back. Eventually Bryan wanted a match with HHH but couldn’t get the boss to agree. With nothing else left, Bryan took Raw hostage and forced HHH to agree to let them have a match here at Wrestlemania. The winner is put into the World Title match main event.
Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.
HHH vs. Daniel Bryan
Winner goes to the main event title match. For some reason, Bryan’s entrance is never actually announced, likely due to not being able to hear the announcer over the INSANE YES chants. Cole says this is a mismatch on paper, even though Bryan is a multiple time World Champion coming in. HHH would be the heavy favorite but it’s not that big. Bryan is coming in with a bad shoulder after HHH attacked it a few weeks back on Raw. Stephanie kisses HHH for an awesome heel moment.
We start with a long staredown as the fans are about 300% behind Bryan. HHH’s offer of a handshake is kicked away and Bryan gets a quick rollup for two. That would be one heck of a way to open the show. The threat of a big kick sends HHH outside but he comes back in to go after the arm. Bryan flips out and hits a dropkick to the ribs before taking him down with a headlock. Stephanie: “COME ON BABY!” They hit the mat for a nice technical sequence until HHH takes him into the corner and wraps the bad arm around the ropes.
Bryan escapes an attempt at sending his arm into the post before hitting a running tornado DDT off the apron to the floor. As HHH gets up, Bryan dives off the top for a big flip dive and Stephanie is losing it. She shouts that Bryan is a B+ at best as HHH crotches him on the top, followed by a running forearm to put Bryan on the floor. It’s time for the announcer’s table but Bryan fights out of the Pedigree attempt, only to have HHH grab the arm and drive it into the table.
Back in again and HHH puts on an armbar as JBL shouts about how brilliant this is. He really needs to figure out proper tone. Bryan is able to low bridge HHH to the floor but a right hand stops the Flying Goat. Something like a belly to back suplex on the apron drops Bryan’s arm on the apron again and he has to beat the count back in. HHH channels his inner Backlund for a crossface chicken wing before putting on a regular Crossface to make Benoit scream even more.
Bryan finally makes the rope and nails a running forearm to knock some of the smile off of Stephanie’s face. The moonsault out of the corner doesn’t work but Bryan uses a standing switch for some rolling Germans for rolling near falls. HHH reverses back into another chicken wing attempt before settling for a tiger suplex. They head up top for a superplex but Bryan reverses into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Bryan starts shaking his head as he gets up for the running dropkicks in the corner, only to have HHH nail a running clothesline to stop the third. Stephanie LOSES IT on the floor in celebration.
The Pedigree is countered into a jackknife for two before the big kick knocks HHH silly. Back to the Crossface but HHH can only grab across Bryan’s forehead. Bryan rolls away but gets caught in the middle of the ring ala the ending of Wrestlemania XX. Another roll lets Bryan counter into the YES Lock but again the grip isn’t perfect. HHH finally makes the ropes and you can see Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief. She’s gone from all confident to having to sweat over this match.
HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.
Bryan sets up the running knee but it’s countered into a spinebuster, followed by the Pedigree for two, sending Stephanie into shock. HHH puts him in the corner for more right hands but is smart enough to break at four. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop for two but HHH doesn’t let go of the grip. Bryan won’t get up so HHH drives knees (yes, knees from HHH) to the side of the head. This time Bryan rolls out and kicks the boss in the head, only to miss a second attempt. HHH tries a belly to back but Bryan flips out and hits the running knee for the huge upset pin, sending him to the main event.
Rating: A. This was a great match with the big key of Bryan winning clean. HHH wrestled a smart match and did everything he should have, including the arm work and hitting the Pedigree but Bryan flat out beat him. This match was a Match of the Year contender all year and it’s easy to see why. Really good stuff here and HHH continues to prove why he’s still worth putting in the ring a few times a year.
Post match Stephanie gets in for a real challenge. She slaps Bryan in the face, allowing Stephanie to get a chair and crush Bryan’s shoulder against the post. Oh man they really did stack the deck against him. Stephanie: “That’s what happens when you play with the Game.” Dang she’s good at being evil.
New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield
There isn’t much to this one. Kane blamed Jerry Lawler for letting Bryan’s fans in for the Occupy Raw incident but Shield wouldn’t attack him. The Outlaws were added because who else was going to be put in the spot? Road Dogg’s speech is cut off by Shield’s intro, complete with half masks which didn’t last long. This was right before Shield turned face, even though they’re insanely popular and have practically been good guys for a few weeks now. One last note before we get to the massacre: if you’ve never heard it, Kane’s pyro is one of the loudest things you’ll ever hear live.
Kane punches Ambrose into the corner to start but the US Champion (remember that?) fights back and nails a clothesline. Off to Reigns to run over Gunn before taking down Dogg and Kane for good measure. Reigns even tells the Outlaws to suck it. The Apron Kick (he hasn’t done that in a while) hits both Outlaws but Kane blocks the Superman Punch. That earns him a springboard knee from Rollins and Dean breaks up the Fameasser.
The Superman Punch (which the camera misses) lays out Gunn and Billy is surrounded. He gets outside with Dogg, only to take a double dive from Ambrose and Rollins. All three villains get speared (the Outlaws get theirs at the same time) and a double Triple Bomb to the Outlaws is enough for the pin. Total and complete dominance here as you can feel the Shield’s mega face push coming imminently.
Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with toys in the back with EVIL Danny Davis counting the pin. Why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt isn’t clear. Duggan wants another opponent so here’s Ricky Steamboat. They can’t play though because someone has bought the toys. Guess who that would be. On a personal note, other than Davis, I’ve met every person in this segment in the last year. Ron Simmons comes in for the required cameo.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Big Show, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Yoshi Tatsu, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, R-Truth, Fandango, Big E., David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Miz, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry
In a line I can’t take credit for, this should be the Andre Rousimoff Memorial Battle Royal: the ARMBAR. There are thirty one people in this and eight of them are out of the company less than a year later. I’ll give them credit for this: they snuck everyone but Big Show and Sheamus into the ring during the legends’ segment and I didn’t notice a thing.
Kidd goes to the apron to start and flips onto a pile of people. You can’t tell what’s going on to start like in most battle royals. Tatsu is out first and Cody and Kofi get in a kick off as they’re hanging from the ropes. Maddox, GM of Raw at the time, is out next and Khali knocks Brodus out with a chop. A few guys dump Khali a few seconds later and you can actually see the mat now. There goes Ryder at 3MB’s hands and Young gets the same treatment.
Mark Henry actually sells a punch from Slater before knocking out McIntyre and Mahal. Henry makes it a matched 3MB set by throwing Heath out but Big Show gets rid of him a few seconds later. The ring is down to a manageable number now and it’s nowhere near as crowded. Show throws Titus out next but it’s Cobra time. Miz tries to block it but with an assist from Xavier Woods of all people, Miz is knocked to the floor. Del Rio kicks Santino out and Sandow dumps Woods. Racist.
Cody’s Disaster Kick nails Sandow and Goldust low bridges him to the floor. Intercontinental Champion Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out and throws Otunga to the floor for good measure. Fandango and Big E. get in a fight on the apron and Fandango actually kicks him out. Your champion ladies and gentlemen. The fans start Fandangoing but stop as Sheamus hits the thirty forearms to the chest and shoves the dancer out.
Show throws Truth out and we’re down to Big Show, Mysterio, Sin Cara, Del Rio, Kidd, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Ziggler, Kingston and Rhodes. Sin Cara goes out off camera to get us down to ten and Del Rio enziguris Kidd off the top to make it nine. Another enziguri drops Goldust and a shove gets rid of the other Rhodes brother. Del Rio takes a 619 and Cesaro gets the same treatment, only to uppercut Rey to the floor. Ziggler gets an uppercut of his own in the middle of the ring and everyone is down.
It’s Kofi up first and charging at Cesaro, who launches him over the post and down to the floor. You know it’s not that simple though as Kofi’s feet land on the steps and he gets back in for a HUGE top rope cross body. I paused the video to type a bit with Kofi in the air and I couldn’t believe how high he got on that thing. Kofi kicks everyone, including Big Show, down but he gets caught in the Swing that everyone had wanted to see. There’s something hilarious about those braids flying around.
The Swing goes on for a ridiculous thirty seconds but Cesaro walks into a chokeslam. A Brogue Kick drops Big Show and another puts Kingston out. Ziggler DDTs Sheamus but gets superkicked to the floor but Del Rio, drawing some awesome heat. The final four are Del Rio, Big Show, Sheamus and Cesaro. There’s the cross armbreaker to Sheamus, which JBL points out as a waste of time.
Sheamus powers up but both guys fall to the floor to get us down to two. You know who the fans are behind I’m assuming. Cesaro starts firing off uppercuts and clotheslines but dives into a big chop. Show loads him up but Cesaro slips down the back (ala Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) and casually picks him up (not like Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) for a slam to the floor and the win.
Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting and one of the more entertaining battle royals I’ve seen in a long time. Cesaro winning should have meant a big push but it wound up going nowhere due to the incompetence of this company. Good stuff here but they would have been better off with twenty like they’re doing for the second version. That slam was freaking cool too.
Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.
The next awesome recap video shows us Cena vs. Wyatt, which is based around the idea of making Cena destroy his legacy….whatever that means. Wyatt thinks Cena is lying when he talks about hustle, loyalty and respect and seemingly just wants to destroy Cena for fun. He’s a weird guy like that.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
Wyatt’s song is played live with a bunch of burning barrels, a woman dancing like she’s possessed and what looks like a bunch of junk set up as an altar. This was CHILLING live and an absolutely amazing visual. Bray has Harper and Rowan with him here. This was before Rowan got pushed by having Big Show knock him out 19 times in a row. The fireflies are starting to become a thing at this point but it’s not there yet. Cena doesn’t have any kind of a special entrance, but how could he follow Bray’s anyway? For some reason Roberts doesn’t even announce him until he’s in the ring.
Bray drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot to finish him early but Cena tells him to get up and fight. They finally get going with Cena headlocking him to the mat as JBL has no idea what he just saw. Back up and Bray hammers him into the corner, shouting that Cena doesn’t want to fight him. A headbutt drops Cena as Bray asks if this is the one the people call hero.
Bray sends him across the ring but Cena just explodes with a running clothesline. A fired up Cena takes him into the corner, only to have Wyatt laugh as Cena stomps away. John gets creative (or is it basic?) with a running big boot. The Family stares at Cena and Bray shouts that John is a monster before hitting the release suplex slam (cool move). We hit the sleeper but it’s quickly just a regular chinlock.
Cena fights back and starts his finishing sequence but the Shuffle is blocked by Bray’s spider walk. Cena’s reaction is perfect as he falls down and gets distracted by Rowan, allowing Bray to hit a chokeslam (meant to be a Rock Bottom but it’s the same move for all intents and purposes) for two. It’s time for Bray to conduct the crowd but the delay lets Cena get two off a jumping tornado DDT.
Cena’s top rope Fameasser is caught in the Batista neck breaking powerbomb and control switches again. Another finishing sequence has Bray in trouble but he counters the AA into a gutbuster for two. A DDT onto the apron drops Cena and his face just looks stunned. Back in and Bray’s superplex attempt is countered but Cena, ever the rocket scientist, dives on the Family for no apparent reason. They weren’t doing much and they’ll just be ticked off now, but Cena is Cena and unquestionable right?
The wild eyed Bray sends Cena into the steps and says he’s figured out what to do. Cena kicks the steps out of his hands and picks them up instead, only to throw them down instead of giving in to the demons. Back in and Bray runs him over, says he has the whole world in his hand, but misses the backsplash. AA gets two and why are people always shocked by that? If you don’t see two of those it’s not a major match.
Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can get in a cheap shot to give his boss two. It’s about time they did something in this match. Cena goes out after Harper and spears him through the barricade, which seems to be exactly what Bray wanted. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but the rope is quickly grabbed. Now Sister Abigail connects for two and Bray is……happy? Scared? Shocked? You never really can tell with him.
Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.
Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but what the heck was the point in having Bray lose here? The entire thing was built up as Bray being a monster and he loses the big match? Now of course this didn’t end Bray’s run, but it was questionable then and it doesn’t get any better a year later. Cena really didn’t need the win and the whole legacy thing still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t get how Bray pinning him ended his legacy, so it seemed to be another way of saying “Hey Cena, turn heel already!” It’s not explained why hitting Rowan is different than hitting Bray but this story never made the most sense in the first place.
Hall of Fame video from last night. This package aired about a million times on Sunday and Monday, to the point where I memorized half the lines. Undertaker coming out with the urn during Bearer’s induction was perfect. Mr. T.’s speech on the other hand was so beyond perfect that I don’t have the words to describe it. Seeing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts up there is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and proof that Diamond Dalla Page is a saint.
Here’s the class of 2015 live: Jake Roberts, Mr. T., Paul Bearer, Carlos Colon, Lita (you all still would and you know it), Razor Ramon and the Ultimate Warrior, who gets a full musical entrance. The interesting thing here is that the camera guys ran backwards in case he ran to the ring but instead he just walked out after everyone else had been standing there. Knowing what happened to him less than two days later still makes my head spin. This is one of the better classes ever as it’s hard to argue against any of them going in, which isn’t always the case.
Medics check on Bryan’s arm.
We recap the Streak match. The video about the Streak being the lone constant over the last twenty three years is really odd when you think about it as nothing else has anywhere near that lifespan. Can any man break the streak? Heyman: “Obviously the answer to this question is no. But what about a beast?” That’s pretty much all you need to know. Heyman caps it off with “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer the Streak.”
Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker
Undertaker’s theme this year is a coffin with the name of each victim, all of which are lit on fire. The latest victim is covered by smoke as luck would have it. Even Brock looks a bit shaken up by all this, but that might be due to his coffin opening up. Long staredown to start until Undertaker fires off right hands. That earns him a belly to belly overhead suplex and a clothesline to send him outside because Brock is awesome like that.
Undertaker comes back with a Stunner over the top and it’s time for more punching, followed by bending Brock’s arm around the rope. The arm goes into the post as well but Brock punches Old School down. That’s it for Undertaker’s control though as he fights back and takes it to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. It’s been about 90% Undertaker so far. The chokeslam and F5 are both escaped but Brock avoids the running boot in the corner.
It’s time to go after the old man’s leg and the last thing you want to give Brock is a target. Or raw meat. Or a belt that a Samoan wants to take from him because it turns into a stupid looking tug of war. Brock slowly hammers him down and pounds away with right hands and knees in the corner. Now they head outside for another shot to Undertaker’s knee before he’s whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Brock keeps hammering away as the fans are waiting on the big comeback before they hit the main event style.
Now Brock just starts punching him a lot until Undertaker catches him with the running DDT (a popular counter tonight). The running clothesline in the corner (what leg injury?) sets up Snake Eyes and the running boot, followed by a legdrop for two. The chokeslam (Heyman: “HE’S POISED!”) gets two and Undertaker looks deflated. Brock counters the tombstone into the F5 (way bigger reaction than the chokeslam) for two.
Lesnar slows things down and gets pulled into a surprise Hell’s Gate. That’s fine with Brock who lifts him up into a powerbomb to break the hold. Power like that is just scary and Brock is terrifying enough on his own. Undertaker throws it on again but Brock counters it exactly the same way. Why change what works? It’s Brock’s turn for a submission as he puts on the Kimura to make Undertaker scream. We get MMA Taker as he reverses into one of his own but Brock makes it to the ropes.
Brock fires off some shoulders in the corner but Undertaker gets a boot up. We go Old School but Undertaker falls into the F5 for two. Now it’s Brock’s turn to be shocked for a change. Two German suplexes rattle Undertaker again and Heyman shouts that Brock is going to make it 21-1. Brock hammers away in the corner but climbs to the middle rope, setting up something called a Last Ride but more like a weak spinebuster.
Undertaker is just spent at this point so he loads up the tombstone. Brock doesn’t quite get planted though as you can see St. Louis in the gap between his head and the mat, meaning the kickout doesn’t have much of an impact. There’s the sit up and another tombstone, but Brock reverses and muscles Undertaker into the third F5 for the pin to conquer the Streak.
Rating: D+. This is hard to watch for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the Streak ended. I’m not the biggest Undertaker fan, but knowing what was coming actually made this hard to sit through. I mean……the Streak just ended. It’s like telling a kid there’s no Santa Claus: you know it has to happen someday but you don’t want to ever actually do it.
The other reason this was hard to watch is the match pretty much sucked. Undertaker apparently had a concussion early in the match and barely remembers a lot of what happened here. That can cause some severe problems, but I can’t imagine that the match would have been much better had Undertaker been healthy throughout. At the end of the day, the guy is 49 years old and barely wrestles once a year. You can’t expect him to be able to do it every single year.
That brings me to my last point: how can you really expect him to win here? Brock is a monster and wrestles a lot more often than Undertaker, in addition to being thirteen years younger. How can you reasonably believe that Undertaker can win? That’s part of the thing that kills the fans here: the idea of the Undertaker is that one night a year, he’s immortal. This match proved that he was human and that’s a hard thing to admit after all those years of seeing him as a superhero. Lesnar has been a monster since, and this really is the start of something special. Granted no one knew that at the time.
Anyway, Heyman’s reaction is in perfect as even he’s stunned at what he just saw because all his hyperbole is proven correct. They leave as the audience is stunned. Undertaker finally sits up, albeit very slowly, and gets the big hero’s sendoff. He hasn’t been seen since and I’m not sure I want to see him in the ring again at this point. The reaction is even more saddening as the fans are just done at this point. I’ve heard the only thing to compare this to is Koloff beating Sammartino and it’s hard to disagree with that.
On top of that, Undertaker collapsed as soon as he went through the curtain and was sent to the hospital. Vince himself went with him and missed the end of the show. That’s scary stuff but how lucky were they that he didn’t collapse on the stage in front of all the thousands of people?
Wrestlemania XXXI ad.
Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational
AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka
All fourteen are in at once, one fall to a finish and AJ (only one with an entrance as the others came out during the XXXI video) is defending. Vickie gets in an evil laugh before we get going. AJ and her bodyguard Tamina are sent into the middle of the circle and the brawl is on. Something tells me I won’t be able to keep track of all this.
The Bellas “hit” a horrible gutbuster on Layla before Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Alicia, Summer and Rosa at the same time. A quadruple suplex gets a quadruple near fall as Cameron’s top has broken. That earns her an Emma Lock as this is a total mess. We hit the parade of finishers until only the Bellas are left.
Instead of fighting, they hit an admittedly sweet looking double dive to take everyone out. It’s amazing how much easier they are to sit through when they don’t talk. They slug it out inside and the Rack Attack gets two on Brie. Back in for a parade of secondary finishers until Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash by shoving Tamina to the floor. Natalya powerbombs Aksana to send Naomi down in a Tower of Doom, leaving AJ to hook the Black Widow on Naomi to retain.
Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? There’s almost no way to make a huge mess like this work, especially when so many of the girls have no business inside a wrestling ring. AJ would go on to lose the title the next night to a debuting Paige, which I somehow called about two weeks out. That’s probably a lot better than having her debut here and win as part of this disaster, but it’s rather telling that the same girls are still on top of the division a year later.
Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan (that needed to happen tonight) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper reluctantly tells Hogan he’s doing a good job tonight but Paul says he’s tired of hearing about getting pinned at the first Wrestlemania. The losers want to fight now and here’s Mr. T. for the big staredown. Pat Patterson just happens to be here in a referee shirt but they all agree to bury the hatchet and have the most awkward handshakes in years.
Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.
WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan
Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.
The Orton backbreaker drops Batista and Bryan gets knocked down to the floor. Batista and Orton head over to the announcers’ tables before Batista whips him into the barricade. Orton backdrops out of a Batista Bomb to send Batista into the steps before going after Bryan again. The champ starts going back and forth to send both challengers into the barricade before taking Batista back inside for two.
The knee drop gets two more as the fans chant for Bryan. That’s exactly what they get as well with a double missile dropkick putting down the shaved headed guys. Daniel kicks away at both of them but Orton grabs in him a high collar suplex for two. Big Dave kicks Orton down and stomps on Bryan in the corner to get the fans booing all over again. That’s fine with Daniel as he hits running dropkicks to both guys in the corner. That woke them up again and so did the top rope hurricanrana for two on Orton.
Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.
HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan takes it away and knocks HHH to the floor. Orton comes back in and cleans house, joining forces with Batista to beat Bryan up even more. They take the tape off his shoulder as the Authority is taken out, much to JBL’s chagrin. The announcers’ table is loaded up with Orton setting the steps next to it, drawing a CM Punk chant for the save. Instead they get a Batista Bomb into a jumping neckbreaker (called an RKO). The scary part here is that Orton landed back first on a monitor and took a long time to get up.
Batista is the only man left standing and it’s Lawler with the voice of common sense: “Throw one of them in the ring and cover them!” The old guys still get it. Medics come out to help Bryan as JBL joins Lawler’s school of thinking: “COVER BRYAN ALREADY!” Orton and Batista brawl in a heatless segment as people don’t accept that Bryan is done yet. The Elevated DDT off the apron gets a good gasp from the crowd, but Bryan getting off the stretcher gets a better reaction.
Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.
Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.
Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.
Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.
Overall Rating: A-. Time has brought this show back down to earth a bit but it’s still incredibly fun. This was everything the fans could have wanted from Bryan (though not quite everything from Undertaker vs. Lesnar) and an incredibly emotional show. The wrestling here ranges from very good to mixed but the emotion is off the charts. That’s what matters at the end of the day and it was the perfect story being told. The show holds up almost completely and it’s still great and worth checking out. Bryan may never get back to the top again, but they can never take this night away from him and that’s not the worst prize.
Ratings Comparison
Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
Original: B
Redo: B
HHH vs. Daniel Bryan
Original: A
Redo: A
Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena
Original: B
Redo: C+
Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational
Original: D+
Redo: D
Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton
Original: A-
Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: A+
Redo: A-
The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXIX: The Not So Great Sequel
Wrestlemania XXIX Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s hard to believe this show was almost a year ago. The main event is of course Rock vs. Cena II in the sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. Other than that we have CM Punk challenging the Streak and HHH vs. Brock Lesnar in another sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. I wasn’t too hot on this show live but Wrestlemania is always worth checking out. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett is defending. Miz backflips out of an early belly to back suplex attempt and gets two off a fast rollup. He tries to jump over Barrett in the corner though and gets kicked in the ribs to give the champion control. Barrett: “How awesome is he now?” Miz is laid on the top rope and a running knee to his ribs gets two. Barrett loads up his boot to the face with Miz in the ropes but Miz gets his own foot up instead.
The Reality Check gets two for Miz but both guys escape finishers. Winds of Change gets a close two for Wade but Miz ducks the Bull Hammer and hooks the Figure Four. Barrett is quickly into the ropes though and pops up with Wasteland for two. Miz picks the leg and takes Barrett to the mat for the Figure Four and the title out of nowhere.
Rating: C. This was perfectly fine as they wanted to fire the fans up before the show got started. It’s amazing how far these two have fallen in the last year as Miz is floundering even more and Barrett is a one note character. This result wouldn’t mean anything as Barrett got the title match the very next night.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie talks about Hurricane Sandy hitting New Jersey back in October and destroying a lot of the Jersey Shore. But the people of New Jersey fought back and rose up along with New York because they’re unbreakable and unstoppable.
The opening video talks about moments that change the world forever and how they make time stand still.
I still like the female part of that I’m Coming Home song.
Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Shield
The three guys had been having issues with Shield for months now. At this point, Shield still hasn’t lost a six man tag and Big Show isn’t trustworthy but he’s a necessary ally. Basically everyone thought Orton was going to be the one to turn on his partners here though. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come from the top of the stadium this time. Reigns starts with Sheamus and they slug it out in the corner. The cameras are all over the place as they keep switching angles.
A running ax handle puts Reigns down and a clothesline is good for one. Orton comes in and drops a knee before hitting the Garvin Stomp. Rollins comes in but walks into a dropkick followed by ten right hands in the corner. The fans are WAY into this so far. Back to Sheamus who gets his knee dropkicked out, allowing Ambrose to come in for some fast stomping. The fans are even more into Ambrose but he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus goes to tag Orton but Big Show tags himself in instead.
Show rips the vest off Ambrose for the chop in the corner but Dean tries a chop of his own. That just makes Big Show mad so he hits ten straight chops. Dean dropkicks Big Show in the knee just like Sheamus got earlier and it’s back to Rollins who tries to keep Big Show down. Shield starts their fast tags as Cole says they’re like a swarm of hornets. Rollins hits some running knees to the head for two before it’s back to Reigns for a chinlock. Show suplexes his way to freedom but Rollins knocks Orton to the floor.
The giant backdrops Rollins from his knees and the hot tag brings in Sheamus. The Irishman rips the vest off of Rollins for the ten forearms. Ambrose gets a tag and is immediately caught in the ten forearms as well. There’s the rolling fireman’s carry to Ambrose and another one to Rollins who lands on Dean. Reigns pulls Sheamus outside though and the double teaming begins.
Orton is whipped into Rollins to put both guys down but Shield throws Rollins back inside. The Triple Bomb to Sheamus is broken up by a Big Show spear in a nice visual and everyone is down. Show reaches out for a tag but Orton takes it himself, ticking Big Show off. Randy loads up the RKO on Ambrose but has to catch a springboarding Rollins in an RKO. Reigns comes in with the spear though and puts Dean on top for the pin as Big Show watches from the apron.
Rating: C+. It’s amazing that Shield is actually still together a year later and have become even more dominant. I thought they would win the match coming into this and I’m glad the first loss wasn’t here at Wrestlemania. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t have the time or the near falls that make most Shield matches awesome. Still though, good opener and Big Show was somewhat justified in his actions.
Big Show yells at Orton post match and knocks out both of his partners.
Music video on Rock vs. Cena II with the theme of legacy vs. redemption.
Snooki is here.
Mark Henry vs. Ryback
This is a simple idea: how big of a guy can Ryback Shell Shock? Henry also choked Ryback during a bench press challenge a few weeks earlier. Ryback was on fire a few months before this but has fallen through the floor in the time since. They stare each other down to start before Ryback wins an early slugout. Some clotheslines put Henry against the ropes but he runs Ryback over to a big pop. A powerslam gets two for Henry and we get a Sexual Chocolate chant.
Ryback can’t suplex him but Mark lifts Ryback up and places him on the apron for a ram into the buckle. Back in and Henry pounds on the spine before we hit the bearhug. Ryback is thrown outside but he dives back inside at two. The bearhug goes on again but Ryback fights out and drives Mark into the corner. There’s the Meat Hook and Ryback easily picks Mark up for the Shell Shock, drawing Ryback’s first pop of the match. Henry grabs the ropes though and falls onto Ryback for the pin.
Rating: D. Nothing but a slow power match here though the Shell Shock attempt looked good. The booking still doesn’t make sense to me as Henry would challenge Cena to a title match tomorrow night before Ryback closed the show by turning heel and getting the title shot on PPV. Why not have Ryback win here, have Henry answer the open challenge, and THEN have Ryback go after Cena, saying Henry almost beat Cena (he did) so imagine what Ryback could do. The whole thing was backwards. Anyway the match wasn’t great and they only kind of did the Shell Shock, which was the whole point of the thing.
Post match Henry goes back in to stomp on Ryback some more but the Big Guy fights back and Shell Shocks Henry. Again, why not have that be the ending?
The announcers play with the new WWE action figures. JBL beats up the Rey Mysterio toy in some nice continuity.
Video on the WWE partnering with the Special Olympics.
Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Chris Christie.
Tag Team Titles: HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston
This is Langston’s in ring debut and his team is challenging. AJ is with them as well and Dolph is Mr. Money in the Bank. Bryan’s beard is only a foot or so long here. We get a nice bit of continuity to start with Ziggler kissing AJ on the apron after the bell, allowing Bryan to kick him in the head for a close two. The YES Kicks have Ziggler in trouble but he dives to the corner after ducking the big one. Both power guys come in now and it’s Kane taking over with right hands to the face, only to be caught in a series of backbreakers.
Langston runs Kane over and it’s back to Ziggler who gets two off a dropkick. Dolph doesn’t stay in long as he tags Big E. back in, only to have him get caught by a running DDT. Now it’s already back to Ziggler who walks into a side slam. Kane misses the top rope clothesline but Ziggler almost entirely botches the Fameasser, meaning it’s only good for two. A hard clothesline drops Ziggler but Big E. breaks it up at the last second. Langston nails the Big Ending but Bryan takes him to the floor. AJ throws in the briefcase but misses the big show, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam, setting up Bryan’s Swan Dive to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. This was more short than anything else. They seemed to be teasing leaving Ziggler fresh so he could cash in later which people were expecting like the birth of a child at this point. HELL NO was a good team and a good stepping stone for Bryan to the main event scene in the coming months.
Make-A-Wish video starring John Cena.
Fandango vs. Chris Jericho
This is the dancing feud so Fandango has a full dance troupe with his original brunette dance partner, soon to be replaced by Summer Rae. It’s also Fandango’s in ring debut under this name. Fandango dances to start but is quickly taken down to the mat by Jericho. A hard slap sends the dancer to the floor before Jericho brings him back inside and hammers away in the corner. The fans are entirely behind the Canadian here.
Fandango jumps over him in the corner but walks into the Codebreaker to send him out to the floor. A hard baseball slide drops Fandango again and a BIG dive off the top knocks him to the floor. Back in and Jericho slaps him in the face but Fandango enziguris Jericho down to break up the springboard dropkick. Fandango stomps away before putting on a chinlock as Jericho’s forehead is cut open.
Jericho fights up and runs Fandango over with some shoulders before hitting a top rope dropkick. A Thesz Press of all things drops Fandango and there’s an enziguri to make up for earlier. Fandango sends him shoulder first into the post to take over again and the guillotine legdrop gets two.
Back up and Jericho counters a dropkick into a Walls attempt but Fandango kicks away. He goes up again but Jericho shakes the ropes to bring him down. A superplex is countered by a series of headbutts, only to have Jericho avoid another legdrop attempt. The Lionsault connects but Jericho tweaks his knee, allowing Fandango to small package him for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad for the most part and I’m not sure I can argue against it being the biggest upset in Wrestlemania history. Fandango may have wrestled as Johnny Curtis before but this was his debut as the character, making it a big deal to have him win here. Jericho has always been great at making people look good and that’s exactly what he did here.
We look back at the pre-show match with Miz winning the Intercontinental Title.
Another video on Rock vs. Cena, this time focusing on Rock and his fans. By this I mean fans saying Rock’s catchphrases.
We get a video of classic Wrestlemania moments set to the song playing in the Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed fight in the first Rocky movie. This leads into a Sean Combs medley.
We recap Del Rio vs. Swagger. It’s a basic story: Del Rio is from Mexico and Swagger’s new manager Zeb Colter is very anti-foreigner. He’s as close to a white supremacist as you’ll get in modern WWE and rants about how evil foreigners are crippling America. The government won’t do anything about it so Jack Swagger will instead. He won the Elimination Chamber to earn the title shot here and has injured Ricardo’s ankle coming into the match.
Del Rio had turned face late last year and was on a roll as champion. He was suddenly a patriot who loved America but was also proud of being from Mexico. The character worked very well and his matches got about a hundred times better. Even I was digging Del Rio around this time while I’m not generally a good fan.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger
After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.
Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.
Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.
The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.
This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.
Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.
WWE supports the National Guard.
We recap Undertaker vs. CM Punk. As usual, Punk is trying to break the Streak but this time there’s an added caveat. Undertaker’s long term manager Paul Bearer recently passed away and Punk interrupted Undertaker’s tribute to him to promise to break the Streak. He even stole Bearer’s Urn and tossed it around like a football before dropping it on the concrete.
CM Punk vs. Undertaker
Living Colour plays Punk to the ring and Heyman is still at his side here. As always, Undertaker’s entrance is just freaking cool. Punk slaps him in the face to start and fires off forearms in the corner. Undertaker misses another big right hand and gets slapped in the face, so this time he just kicks Punk in the face. Punk is thrown out to the floor and into the timekeeper’s area where Undertaker nails him in the head again. The Dead Man loads up the announce table rams Punk into the post before being thrown back inside.
There’s a right hand to the head as the dueling chants begin. Taker drops the leg on the apron before driving his shoulder into Punk’s to set up Old School. Punk pulls him down off the top rope with an armdrag though and starts ramming elbows into Undertaker’s head. In something I can’t remember seeing from anyone else, Punk hits Old School to Undertaker. You can see how much he’s loving this and the facials are making it so much better.
Punk nails a Russian legsweep and cranks on Undertaker’s right arm. That goes nowhere as Undertaker puts him into the corner and hammers away but hits his own knee on a charge. A baseball slide puts Undertaker on the floor and Punk drops a top rope ax handle (with the finger poke of course). Back in and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker but Undertaker comes back with right hands. A high kick gets two for Punk as Heyman shouts about CM getting more and more momentum.
We hit the chinlock on the taller guy but Taker quickly fights up, only to charge into a boot to the face. Punk tries another Old School but crotches himself on the top rope. A big right hand puts Punk on the floor but Heyman gets on the apron to block the Taker Dive. The distraction lets Punk hit another neckbreaker for two. Punk nails the running knee in the corner followed by the Macho Elbow for another near fall. Taker escapes a GTS attempt and plants Punk with a chokeslam for two of his own.
A big series of right hands has Punk covering up in the corner and it’s the snake eyes and big boot combo but Punk leg lariats Undertaker down to block the boot. The dueling chants pick up again before Punk sends Taker back to the floor. An uppercut slows Punk down but he’s able to escape a Last Ride through the table. He kicks Undertaker in the head to set up the Macho Elbow onto the table, which doesn’t break. That always looks sick.
Both guys are down and Punk looks to have injured his leg. Punk is able to get back inside and we tease a countout until Undertaker dives back in at nine. Back in and Undertaker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t quite get it on. Punk flips over for two and hooks the Anaconda Vice. Undertaker’s shoulders stay down for two but he sits up and stares Punk in the eyes for a great counter.
The chokeslam is countered into the GTS but Taker bounces into the ropes and hits the Tombstone for a very close two. They slug it out but Punk’s shots have no effect. Taker loads up the chokeslam but Punk shoves the referee down. Heyman distracts Undertaker but Punk injures his knee by kicking Undertaker in the ribs. The Last Ride is countered by an urn shot for another close two. The GTS is countered into a Tombstone which is countered into a GTS which is countered into a Tombstone to make Undertaker 21-0.
Rating: B. I liked the match but it’s still not as good as it’s made out to be. The urn to the head into the Undertaker cover was done better at Wrestlemania X7 and I never bought Punk’s covers as serious threats. It’s still a good match and I was into it more than the match at Wrestlemania 27, but it’s still not Punk getting inches away from breaking the Streak like it’s been made out to be.
Undertaker picks up the Urn for a nice tribute to Bearer.
Ad for the Mick Foley DVD.
Video on Cena, focusing on redemption.
Michelle Beadle is here.
We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. They started feuding the night after Extreme Rules 2012 when Lesnar broke HHH’s arm, setting up a match at Summerslam. Brock beat HHH by breaking his arm again and HHH thought about walking away. However, Lesnar attacked Vince and put him in the hospital. This fired up HHH enough to want a rematch here at Wrestlemania on the grandest stage of them all. Brock also broke Shawn Michaels’ arm and you know that’s too far for HHH.
It’s No DQ and if HHH loses he has to retire. This is of course completely different from the no holds barred match at Summerslam. From what I remember, a grand total of no one wanted to see a rematch but it’s HHH at Wrestlemania so you knew it had to happen. The stipulations dropped the interest even further.
HHH vs. Brock Lesnar
Shawn and Heyman are in the respective corners. As always, Brock looks nothing short of terrifying. HHH has powder all over himself as he comes out through a skull entrance. They slug it out to start and of course HHH gets the better of it. Remember when Brock just destroyed Cena and Big Show with right hands? Forget that, because they’re not HHH. A knee to the ribs finally puts Lesnar in control but they fall out to the floor. Lesnar is sent into the barricade and then into the announce table as HHH is dominating in the first minute.
Brock comes back with a chair but misses a swing and hits the steps. They head into the crowd with HHH clotheslining him back to ringside. Back in and HHH blocks the chair shot with a running knee before throwing Brock back to the floor. Brock goes head first into the steps but comes right back with an overhead belly to belly. There is a MASSIVE bruise on Brock’s left pectoral. Shawn is looking concerned as Brock suplexes HHH through the announce table and roars.
Another overhead belly to belly on to the remnants of the table have HHH reeling. Back in and Brock stomps away in the corner before charging into a boot. Not that it matters as he comes right back with a third belly to belly for two. HHH tries to elbow out of a German but gets thrown down again with ease. Another German gets two but HHH fires off right hands, only to be whipped over the corner and out to the floor.
Brock glares at Shawn long enough for HHH to come back with a big running clothesline. Another clothesline puts Brock in the timekeeper’s area and there’s a big chair shot to his back. Back in and Brock snaps off another German for two before knocking Shawn off the apron with a big right hand. Trips comes back again with a spinebuster because he’s capable of going move for move with Brock Lesnar. A Pedigree is countered into an F5 attempt but Brock lets go to avoid a superkick from Shawn. It’s Michaels taking the F5 instead, only to have Lesnar take the Pedigree for two.
The sledgehammer is brought in but Brock ducks the shot and takes a massive F5 for two. They head outside again with HHH being whipped hard into the steps. The steps bounce off HHH’s head before Brock throws them into the ring for some fun. Another shot with the steps is good for two as the fans aren’t really responding to a lot of these near falls. Even Heyman says that’s enough but HHH slaps Brock in the face.
A slugout (won by HHH of course) is countered into the Kimura but HHH drives him into the corner for the break. The same hold is countered the same way before Brock puts him on the middle rope to slap the hold on again. HHH lifts Brock into the air and puts him down with another spinebuster to break. Brock misses a charge into the post and HHH hits a hard low blow to put both guys down. HHH crushes the arm against the post with a chair as
Shawn is laid against the barricade with his head up watching. Another chair shot to the arm crushes it against the steps and HHH puts on a Kimura of his own. Heyman tries to interfere but walks into a superkick. Brock finally powers up and slams HHH down onto the steps for another break. HHH grabs the hold again and gets slammed down onto the steps one more time. There’s a third Kimura to Brock but he plants lifts HHH into the air, only to be countered into a DDT on the steps. A sledgehammer to the face sets up the Pedigree on the steps for the pin.
Rating: B. As mentioned earlier, the match was good but the interest just wasn’t there. The times when HHH was able to go punch for punch with Lesnar were just ridiculous but we live in HHH’s WWE anymore. At least he didn’t make Lesnar submit to an MMA hold and Lesnar got to break some stuff. The match is certainly entertaining and I can live with HHH winning at Wrestlemania, but they had to keep it going one more match as a result which was pure overkill.
Hall of Fame time. This year’s class includes Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Booker T, Donald Trump and of course Bruno Sammartino.
Wrestlemania XXX is in New Orleans.
The new attendance record: 80,676.
WWE Championship: John Cena vs. The Rock
Twice in a lifetime. Rock is of course the crowd favorite and defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a lot of time to work with here. A hard shoulder puts Rock down before they do the exact same sequence with the roles reversed. Rock grabs a second headlock before throwing him down with a hiptoss. Cena bails for a bit before taking over with right hands and a hard whip into the corner.
The fans are entirely behind Rock here as he comes back with more right hands and a hard whip of his own. More mirroring of the other. Some shots to the chest have Cena in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline followed by a chinlock. Back up and a belly to belly gets two on Rock before we’re back in the hold again. Rock counters into a sleeper as the crowd is oddly quiet.
That goes nowhere so Rock grabs a Samoan drop to put both guys down again. Cena gets two off a fisherman’s suplex but misses the tackle. The STF doesn’t work either and Rock grabs his bad looking Sharpshooter. That goes nowhere as Cena powers out and initiates his finishing sequence, only to miss the Shuffle. A Rock Bottom is countered into a bad looking crossface (not the STF Cole you dolt) but Rock rolls out.
Now the Shuffle connects but the AA is countered into a spinebuster. The Elbow takes too long though and now the STF (JBL: “THERE is the STF Michael!”) goes on, only to have Rock power out of it. The Rock Bottom gets two and so does the AA, with the latter allegedly ripping Rock’s abdomen apart and giving him a hernia which means he’s probably never wrestling again because insurance companies don’t want to deal with that risk.
Cena misses the top rope Fameasser and now the Elbow connects for two. John rolls outside so Rock can recover a bit. Back in and Rock wins a slugout but tries a cross body which is of course easily caught. Cena looks bored catching him like that. The AA is countered into another Rock Bottom followed by more laying around. Rock tries the Elbow again complete with You Can’t See Me but he runs into the AA for two more. They slug it out yet again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two.
John loads up the People’s Elbow just like last year but hangs onto the ropes when Rock gets up. The AA is countered into yet another Rock Bottom for yet another two. They counter finishers again until Rock nails a DDT to break the finisher streak at like 8. Back up and another Rock Bottom is countered into another AA to give Cena the title back.
Rating: B-. Now just to clarify, they did get in some finishers right? This was bordering on parody with all of those kickouts as they went from headlocks and shoulders to Rock Bottom/AA a go-go for the last ten minutes. It was entertaining for the most part but much like any other match, when you pound finishers into the ground like they, they stop meaning anything.
They say something we can’t hear and shake hands after the match. Cena leaves Rock alone in the ring and waits for him on the stage. They pose together to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. The show is definitely entertaining and I shortchanged some stuff when I watched it live. My main criticism still holds up though: nothing felt big here. Even a year later, what is important here? Cena won the title, only to have Bryan charge up the ladder and become the real star after Cena feuded with Ryback for a few months. Lesnar and HHH had their real blowoff a month later. Punk vs. Undertaker was good but the real moment for Punk was at MITB.
Overall the show works well enough and is entertaining for a one off viewing, but it doesn’t feel like a big deal. The two main events are both rematches from the previous year and that isn’t the best idea for Wrestlemania. It didn’t help that the last three matches all had really obvious endings so it was more about just killing time rather than any intrigue. Still though, all three of those matches are at least good and there’s nothing really horrible so it’s definitely a solid show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Last year, NXT held its first Takeover event during Wrestlemania weekend with the instant classic “Takeover: Dallas”. The show stole the spotlight over Wrestlemania weekend and was pretty easily the best show of the four days, possibly even the year. Now it’s time for round two and as luck would have it, NXT is in their own backyard, making this almost like a cross between a major house show and one of their biggest pay per views of the year. You don’t hear something like that very often so let’s get to it.
Sanity vs. Tye Dillinger/Roderick Strong/No Way Jose/Ruby Riot
We’ll start with the most recently added match as Sanity makes a rare appearance at full strength against the combined forces of Tye Dillinger/No Way Jose/Roderick Strong/Ruby Riot. This has been simmering for months now and as usual, it’s a pretty simple idea. Sanity has gone after Dillinger and it was time to even the numbers up a bit as Dillinger was tired of all the beatings. His team came together over the next few weeks and now we have a full on match between the eight of them.
Very simply put, if Dillinger doesn’t get the fall here (it doesn’t matter who it’s over but Young would be preferable), I have no idea what they’re thinking. The fans are dying to explode for Dillinger and what better place is there than this Takeover? Sanity isn’t the most interesting team in the world aside from having a really cool look. While they need the win, I think they can bounce back better. Dillinger has lost so many times already that I’m not sure how many more times he can bounce back from losing on the big stage. I really hope they don’t screw this up as they’re running out of time to capitalize on Dillinger’s popularity.
Aleister Black vs. Andrade Cien Almas
We’ll move on to a pretty big debut with Black making his first in-ring appearance in NXT. He already had a match at the WWE United Kingdom Championship tournament under his Tommy End moniker but this week is the first time we’ll see his new gimmick. Almas has been on a roll lately with the heel character really starting to hit its stride. His match with Oney Lorcan last week was a major highlight and helped set him up for this match against Black.
That being said, this is another match where the winner should be obvious. NXT isn’t going to put Black out there in his debut and have him lose so Almas has next to no chance. That being said, you could have made the same case last year about Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and that turned out fine. I’m hoping that Black can go in the ring well enough to match his great vignettes though that’s what got Almas in trouble for his debut. But yeah, Black wins here and does so handily.
Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Ember Moon
Asuka won the Women’s Title about a year ago in Dallas and hasn’t looked back since. She’s completely steamrolled over everyone she’s faced and it’s almost impossible to imagine her losing a match. That’s where the story has worked so well. It’s pretty much been acknowledged that Ember Moon can’t hang with Asuka all the way through a match but what she can do is hit the Eclipse, which has been built up as the most dangerous weapon the division has ever seen. It’s almost reminiscent of Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels as all Austin had to do was catch Michaels once and it would be over. The question is can Moon get that far.
As logical as it would be to have Asuka lose here and go on to the main roster soon after, I’m really not sure that happens anymore. NXT has done a nearly flawless job of making Asuka feel unbeatable and that’s still the feeling I have here. Moon should be the favorite and the place will go nuts if the Eclipse gives her the title, but I’m actually going with Asuka in my regular prediction almost guaranteed to be wrong. Moon is the best candidate to dethrone Asuka but I actually don’t think she does.
Tag Team Titles: DIY vs. Revival vs. Authors of Pain
I’m very rarely a fan of triple threats but this is a case where the story has been built precisely in this direction, which makes it more than acceptable. Revival and DIY had some incredible matches against each other last year but now they’ve run into a wall with the champions, who run over everything in their path. Having the other teams band together to fight the Authors is interesting and could make for a very good story to the elimination tag, especially if one of the other teams gets to conquer them in the end.
I’ll go with the Authors retaining here as DIY could easily be brought up to the Cruiserweight division while the Revival seem like perfect additions to the main roster tag divisions. The Authors are perfect choices to keep the titles until a new team is put together to slay them. I don’t know who could fight DIY save for maybe Sanity, which doesn’t seem like the most interesting thing in the world. We’ll go with the titles being retained, which would make the most long terms sense.
NXT Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bobby Roode
We’ll wrap it up with a rematch as Nakamura, this time on two good knees, tries to get the NXT Title back from Roode, who took it from him in a great match back at “Takeover: San Antonio.” This time around Nakamura knows not to underestimate him, which could make for an interesting change of pace. Roode has looked great since winning the title while Nakamura has spent most of the time rehabbing his injured knee.
I think I’ll go with the champions making a clean sweep as, much like the Revival, there’s no need to put the title back on Nakamura. He’s held it twice already and is more than ready to move up to the main stage. Just let Roode move on and feud with someone new (Dillinger for example) before losing the title at “Takeover: Brooklyn III”. The match will be fun, though I’m curious as to how they could have Nakamura lose to Roode again without some sort of shenanigans, which you don’t get too often in NXT.
Overall, the show looks good but not great. As is almost always the case, it’s going to come down to the performances, which have a tendency to be outstanding. Let the wrestlers do their thing in a logical manner and everything will be fine. The crowd is going to carry a lot of this and that’s what arguably matters most at any given NXT show. Last year set a very high bar but I believe NXT can actually pull something like this off again.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Went to Axxess Again (And I Actually Used My Camera!)
This was my fourth Axxess and my first on Thursday night, which is the opening session. The layout is roughly the same every year and there’s really no difference in the way the rooms look in any given year save for where stages are. I only did General Admission this year after a VIP session last year and honestly, it’s not that big of a difference unless there’s someone you REALLY want to meet.
For the sake of simplicity, I’ll put all the pictures up at the end.
As is always the case, getting in was a nightmare as the doors were supposed to open at 6pm and the line didn’t start moving until around 6:15. From what I’ve heard, General Admissions were allowed in BEFORE VIP this year, which defeats a big purpose of buying VIP in the first place.
As usual, almost no one knew who was going to be where so you either pick a line and hope for the best or find one of the booths with a sign. The first line I saw had Eve Torres but since I’m meeting her at WrestleCon, I went with Eric Bischoff instead. The line took about 30 minutes, which is a near record for Axxess. Bischoff was a nice guy with a big smile on his face. I told him I wanted to punch him in the face every week he was on WCW and he said that was the whole point. The more I hear/read from Bischoff since he left the business, the more I like him. He really does seem to have mellowed since leaving and that’s great.
Now this was when things got a bit tricky. Word on the street was that HHH, Sting, Shawn Michaels and a host of others would be at this Axxess session unveiling a statue for Ric Flair (there’s one made every year with Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant and Dusty Rhodes as the previous names) in a special ceremony. However, no one had any idea about this and since I didn’t want to get in any other line, I kind of walked around and took in some of the other sights.
Aside from Bischoff and Torres, there were booths for Apollo Crews, Curtis Axel (I think)/Mojo Rawley, Ron Simmons/Teddy Long, Jacqueline (her line was almost non-existent), Booker T. (inside the Elimination Chamber), Miz/Maryse (possibly the longest line all night), Bobby Roode/Austin Aries (a close second in length), the Usos and Michael Hayes/Jimmy Garvin (FAR shorter than it should have been).
During the show there were also in-ring matches over at the mini NXT arena. These were mostly cruiserweight matches, though I could see some of Ruby Riot vs. Kimber Lee while waiting in the Bischoff line. Alundra Blayze also appeared and I believe did a Q&A though I couldn’t hear anything asked.
I took in the museum and MY GOODNESS I could spend hours in there. It’s basically a bunch of old photos and gear from wrestlers, mainly focusing on this year’s Hall of Fame inductees and a handful of others. Of course there’s also a section about Wrestlemania with a huge (as in over 6′ tall) poster of each event (these wrap around one wall and most of another).
One of the coolest parts was a collection of memorabilia from Wrestlemania III, including Harley Race’s robe, Andre’s singlet and chairs from the Silverdome. There was also an amazing collection of Ric Flair robes, as well as Charlotte’s from last year and Harley Race’s from Starrcade 1983. This is always one of my favorite parts of Axxess and it didn’t disappoint.
To wrap up the first half of the session, I took in Superstore. That thing is HUGE with probably 30-40 different t-shirt designs for Wrestlemania alone, almost any Funko Pop figure you could ask for and a ton of other stuff (JR’s BBQ products had their own table) for rather ridiculous prices (Wrestlemania shot glass: TEN DOLLARS). If I had the extra cash, I’d have to rent a small car to carry everything out of there.
After getting frisked by the security (I had buttons in my pocket from various tables so CLEARLY I was some kind of a criminal), I kept asking about the Flair statue…..and then I heard the music. The statue unveiling was taking place at 7:50 for some reason and was over in the NXT arena.
Sting, Shawn Michaels, Charlotte, HHH, Ricky Steamboat, Arn Anderson and the Rock N Roll Express plus a few others with their backs to the camera were there. HHH actually cried while introducing Ric, which was amusing as apparently he and Shawn had a bet on whether or not HHH could make Flair cry (HHH: “It’s not really that big of a challenge!”). I managed to get into the stands and shot a video of it and it was actually an emotional moment.
I apologize for the video quality. I was shooting from an iPod and there were WAY too many people crammed into the space. People kept having to get by me and I bent my glasses so it was really hard to see.
After that (with Flair talking about how much he loved Orlando and thanking Shawn for wrestling himself in their match here nine years ago), I ran over to the Elimination Chamber as there were at least 100 people watching the segment in the ring. The new people inside this time: Hillbilly Jim (who I met last year) and Jimmy Hart (who I met yesterday). They’re both cool but WHAT THE HECK DO THEY HAVE TO DO WITH THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER???? Last year it was Ted DiBiase and now these two? Who thinks this stuff up?
Anyway, while I was in line, the Usos, Teddy Long, Bischoff, Luke Harper and Kalisto all walked by for the change to the next session. Randy Orton, flanked by event staffers, came out for his VIP session as well. After they all went, Curtis Axel came and I got a quick high five. I got back in line and Mojo Rawley came by as well.
This was noteworthy as he stopped and talked to, shook hands with, took pictures with or signed autographs for EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the railing (plus more who came up)for a stand he wasn’t even involved with. He even knelt down and talked to a kid for at least a minute. I don’t ever remember seeing someone taking that much time to just see the fans as it took the better part of five minutes for him to walk twenty feet. That gave me a new found respect for him as he really seemed to have a good time doing this and that’s so rare these days. Well done Mojo.
Then I got inside the Chamber and……yeah the wrestlers are right when they say it’s intimidating. You really do feel something change when you walk in and I didn’t even have the door slammed behind me. Hillbilly Jim said he remembered me from last year, which is a really cool thing to hear. I also got to go inside a pod and then touch a WWE rope and turnbuckle (always wanted to do that). Also, the new floor outside the ring is VERY padded, to the point where I stumbled out of surprise the first time I stepped on it.
Also of note, while I was in line, the Rock N Roll Express were doing a Q&A in the NXT ring. They were asked which current team they wanted to face and Ricky eventually said something about wanting to face Jeff Hardy. The DELETE chants immediately started up but more than that, I was surprised that he was allowed to be mentioned. Maybe Ricky didn’t get the memo, or maybe he knows something about a signing and impending debut.
The event was winding up so I walked around to see what other booths were around. That gave me Kalisto (short line), Nia Jax (Nee-Uh Jakes according to the attendant. Nia’s line was INCREDIBLY long, to the point where I thought it was Nikki Bella at first. That was quite the surprise.), Jim Cornette (not a bad line), Anderson and Gallows (long line), Mick Foley (REALLY long line, pretty easily the longest of the second session), Luke Harper, Heath Slater and Rhyno (longer than you would expect) and Ascension (short line, maybe the shortest all night).
That left one option for my final line of the night: the Revival. After nearly an hour in a rather short line, I got to meet both guys and was rather surprised at Wilder’s charisma. I told them that they had really grown on me (true) as I didn’t think much of them at first and then they turned into one of my favorite acts in NXT. Wilder’s response when I said I didn’t like them at first: “And then you realized you were crazy because WE’RE AWESOME!” I threw in that it was like watching the Andersons (Revival calls them huge inspirations, which is really easy to see) and Wilder said they were, but better. I’m not sure about that but they’re very good.
Overall, the event was a good deal of fun, mainly because of the MUCH smaller than usual crowd. Last year the event was so packed that it was almost impossible to really move around and enjoy the place. Save for the insane food prices (cheese steak and Gatorade: $15.50), I don’t have a ton of complaints. You’re never going to find a way around the long lines and issues over the entrances. I’d easily go again and likely will next year.
Big Austin. There’s a big Undertaker just around the corner of the entrance and…..nothing other than those two.
I think this means I’m the new WCW TV Champion with options to be powerbombed by Kevin Nash on an upcoming Nitro.
From left to right: Sting, Ricky Morton, Shawn Michaels (HHH behind Shawn), Ricky Steamboat (Arn Anderson behind Steamboat), Stephanie McMahon (you knew she would be there), Robert Gibson, Ric Flair with his back to the camera on the right of the statue. Charlotte was to Flair’s right.
The guy who was looking at my iPod while I took the picture told me this looked fine.
Old school. Like the Muppets.
So three Jim’s walk into a Chamber….
NXT – March 29, 2017: Big Guys Have More Fun
NXT Date: March 29, 2017
Location: University Area CDC Gymnasium, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Tom Phillips
It’s the final show before Takeover: Orlando and that means most of the card is set, though you can probably guarantee one more match that we’ll get to later. The show has been starting to look better in recent weeks though I’m not entirely sold yet. Tonight we’ll have a Loser Leaves NXT match between Kassius Ohno and Elias Samson so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Akam vs. Johnny Gargano vs. Dash Wilder
Preview for Saturday’s triple threat for the Tag Team Titles. Akam goes after Wilder so Johnny jumps on the big man’s back, because that’s always worked so well over the years. Double teaming works a bit better though as Dawson dropkicks him to the floor before turning on Gargano almost immediately. Akam gets back in but he has to snarl at Scott Dawson for some attempted interference as we take a break.
Back with the Revival nowhere to be seen (apparently they just left instead of merely backing away before the break), leaving Akam to put Gargano in a torture rack. Johnny escapes and slugs away to limited avail before the slingshot spear is good for two. Unfortunately he decides to look away for a second and turns back into a boot to the face.
Johnny comes right back with three straight superkicks but Ra’zar pulls Gargano out at two. That earns Ciampa a beating on the floor and Johnny’s slingshot DDT is caught in mid-air. One heck of a powerbomb plants Gargano but here’s Dawson to grab Akam’s leg. Naturally that means Wilder can slide back in and steal the pin on Gargano at 10:11.
Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t anything spectacular here but I love the booking. The Revival is smart enough to not try and go head to head with the Authors, as well as knowing better than to stay out there and waste energy before the title match. I can always go with smart wrestling and it worked very well here.
Video on Aleister Black vs. Andrade Cien Almas.
Heavy Machinery vs. Jonathan Ordegen/Mike Marshall
That would be Otis Dozovic and Tucker Knight as your standard big guy tag team, though they’re not huge enough to make them immobile blobs. Tucker and I think Jonathan start things off and we’re already in a bearhug. Otis tags himself in so Tucker throws Ordegen into another bearhug for a cool spot. Now it’s Marshall being pulled in for a double shoulder and a double chest bump to send the jobbers outside.
Ordegen offers a distraction so Marshall can get in a shot from behind on Knight, which pretty much wraps up the team’s offense. Otis comes back in and cleans house with clotheslines and elbows, including one to put Jonathan back outside. Dozovic picks up Marshall for a slam but doesn’t put him down, allowing Tucker to crash into Mike’s back. Otis picks Knight up and slams him down onto Marshall for the pin at 3:37.
Rating: C+. I had a lot of fun with this one and Heavy Machinery worked well together out there. I’m not sure how far they can go but they’re certainly good for stuff like this. They fought the Authors of Pain at a house show in January and it was rather entertaining so they can definitely hang with the bigger names.
We go to William Regal’s office for the contract signing between Asuka and Ember Moon. Asuka snickers at Ember’s name but Ember says Asuka has let the success go to her head. Ember signs and Asuka does the same with Moon saying she’s been ready for a long time. Regal says good luck and we’re done in maybe two minutes.
Long video on Bobby Roode vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. The video presents a battle for the future of NXT with Roode being out for himself while Nakamura does what the fans want. That’s about as basic of a heel vs. face feud as you’re going to get and that’s just fine.
Paul Ellering and the Authors of Pain think DIY’s fairy tale ends soon and the Revival just wants to be them.
Sanity vs. Ruby Riot/No Way Jose/Tye Dillinger/Roderick Strong is confirmed for Takeover.
Kassius Ohno vs. Elias Samson
Loser leaves NXT. They trade rollups to start before taking turns on the arm. Ohno gets the better of it, though sadly that means we have to look at his rather disturbing looking thighs. A backsplash gets two on Samson but they head to the apron where Ohno is sent into the post for a big crash onto the steps.
Back from a break with Samson working on the injured back with some kicks and knees. He switches gears with a Crossface though and Ohno has to roll over three times before making the ropes. Ohno blasts him in the jaw with some hard strikes, including a jumping knee to the face. A big boot gets two but a neckbreaker is countered into a backslide for two. Samson’s swinging neckbreaker gets the same, only to have Ohno blast him with the discus forearm to get rid of Samson at 12:47.
Rating: C. The only word I can think of is eh. Ohno has never really done it for me in NXT and that continues here. The match was fine but absolutely nothing I’ll remember in about an hour. It doesn’t help that the story felt slapped together for the sake of getting Samson on to the main roster (I have no idea why as it’s not like he’s been a huge deal in NXT) and giving Ohno a win. That being said, while it accomplished those goals, it certainly wasn’t exciting in the least.
Samson is dragged away by security but agrees to go quietly if he’s given his guitar back. Ohno offers to hand it back before stomping on it instead. So to recap: Samson is a drifter who FINALLY found a home in NXT and is being forced to leave. On top of that, his most prized possession is destroyed in front of his eyes by the person who forced him out of NXT. Why am I supposed to boo him again?
One last Takeover promo wraps up the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of a shot where the wrestling wasn’t the point. Tonight helped build towards Takeover: Orlando with every match getting some focus and another match added to the card. It’s a perfectly fine show and it accomplished everything it needed to do. This was fine for a go home show, though the main event still felt forced in, which isn’t a good thing.
Results
Dash Wilder b. Johnny Gargano and Akam – Powerbomb to Gargano
Heavy Machinery b. Jonathan Ordegen/Mike Marshall – Dozovic slammed Knight onto Marshall
Kassius Ohno b. Elias Samson – Discus forearm
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – March 28, 2017: Flying Sparks From Mouths and Graves
Smackdown Date: March 28, 2017
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
It’s the final Smackdown before Wrestlemania and that means…..well likely it means a bunch of promos and a few matches here and there but that’s standard operating procedure for this time of year. I’d expect a big push towards Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt and some more names being announced for the battle royal so let’s get to it.
No Mauro again, though now we know why (having a severe bout of depression apparently so hopefully he’s getting the rest/treatment he needs).
Here’s Daniel Bryan to get us going with a contract signing between AJ Styles and Shane McMahon. Shane says this place is supposed to be somewhere families can come and be entertained with AJ as a major part of that. Personal feelings aside, Shane knows AJ is phenomenal. AJ agrees, but Shane keeps going by saying it was AJ’s ego that got him in trouble. It was his ego that cost him the WWE Championship and got inside his head because he wasn’t on the Wrestlemania card (I’d think he has a right to be angry over that one).
Shane is ready for him though and knows he’ll bring out the best in AJ. The boss signs and AJ reminds him that this isn’t going to be a street fight but rather a regular match, where Styles in untouchable. AJ lists off some of the greats that Shane has been in the ring with but none of them were the Phenomenal AJ Styles. The contract is signed and the table is tossed but Bryan stops things just in time. He asks for a handshake and Shane is willing but AJ walks away smiling.
Becky Lynch vs. Carmella
Alexa Bliss and Mickie James are on commentary and James Ellsworth does Carmella’s entrance. For some reason Carmella gives Ellsworth her gum and runs away from the threat of a kick to the ribs. As Carmella goes after Becky, Bliss and James get in a fight which spills into the ring. Both of them wind up hitting Carmella and that’s a DQ (which will be treated as a no contest because WWE doesn’t quite understand the basic rules of wrestling) at 2:13.
Becky Lynch/Mickie James vs. Carmella/Alexa Bliss
Joined in progress with Mickie hitting Bliss with a running dropkick for two. Becky comes in to a nice pop but Carmella tags herself in, sending Bliss into some screeching. Bliss offers a bit of a distraction though and Mickie gets kicked down as the heels take over. Did Mickie ever turn face? She doesn’t really need to but it would be a nice plot point to clarify.
Bliss grabs a chinlock but here’s Natalya down the ramp as we take a break. Back with Natalya on commentary and Bliss charging into an elbow in the corner. The hot tag brings in Becky, who Natalya calls a Pippi Longstocking knockoff. That’s not enough for Natalya as she gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Ellsworth to trip Lynch up and give Carmella the pin at 9:12.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the ending was the right call as I don’t think anyone is buying Carmella as a major threat to win the match on Sunday. Have her win here and give her a little momentum going into Wrestlemania and things will be a little more interesting.
The brawl continues post match until Naomi makes her return for the save. In case it wasn’t clear enough for you, Naomi officially announces her entrance into the Women’s Title match.
Tyler Breeze, as Nikki Bella, offers his services for the Women’s Title match. Bryan says no but Fandango comes in and they get spots in the Andre Battle Royal, plus in a ten man tag with some other participants tonight. Not a bad parting gift.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Tonight we get a special treat: the rest of the “lost” Total Bellas episodes (if Miz isn’t Bryan this time, I’ll be rather disappointed). After a recap of last week, Miz (as Cena) yells about people being late for dinner. Miz has some issues with reading his cue cards until Maryse (playing Nikki) starts talking about the pitter patter of little feet. This brings in the other guests: Maryse as Brie and MIZ AS BRYAN!!!
Daniel, with a huge beard, needs a phone book to sit on and the couple brags about marriage. Daniel isn’t happy with having steak but is pleased with his juicebox. Cena reads off the rules for how to eat and, again, it’s hilarious given how robotic Cena comes off on Total Bellas. Another fake proposal sees John demand that Nikki take her rules seriously. This time Nikki asks John to marry her and it’s to be continued.
Part two is after a break with Cena saying no because it would damage his brand. He’s hustled the fans by convincing them he’s something he’s not. He’s loyal to himself and he only respects money. Cena can never give up because someone more deserving, such as Miz, will take his spot away. You can’t see him because there’s no real person to be seen. Miz and Maryse flip the costumes away and promise to make Wrestlemania their curtain calls.
Without WWE, Cena can just lumber around and pretend to be a star. After Wrestlemania, everyone will know that their lives are total BS. This was great serious stuff to go with the comedy, which isn’t a surprise from these two anymore. Back in the arena, here are Cena and Bella to respond. Cena makes fun of everything Miz did and says sure Nikki and Brie have moments where they’re too dumb to tell each other apart (the fact that this is considered ok might sum up my entire issue with reality TV).
After the praise, Cena asks how Nikki could hold Maryse out of WWE if she’s here now? Maybe Maryse wasn’t asked back because she didn’t do anything in her first run (What exactly did Nikki do in her first run John? Maryse had two Divas Titles to Nikki’s one and was a far better character and worker. I know why he said it but that doesn’t make it true.).
Next we have Miz’s Hollywood theory for Cena, but John is more brand loyal than anyone other than Vince McMahon and no one can get rid of him. Miz leaves to make movies of his own but only ones Cena made first. That’s what Cena can’t get: what is Miz doing here anyway? There’s a Women’s Revolution going on right now and last week, Nikki beat up Tyler Breeze (Can we never bring that up again?) and Miz is using Maryse to get on Total Divas. Oh and how many kids do Miz and Maryse have? Cena: “You firing blanks there sport?”
Cena calls them all talk because Miz never knows how to stop running his mouth. John rips off the gear so he’s here man to man and promises to destroy Miz and Maryse on Wrestlemania. If you want to talk tough, you better be tough but Miz is a p***y. Miz is offered a free shot but the villains back away again. Nikki promises a beating on Sunday to wrap things up.
This was OUTSTANDING stuff and again some of the best talking Miz has ever done. While Miz and Maryse have been nailing the story from the beginning, this was the first time I really bought Cena’s rebuttal. Basically Cena had been saying Miz didn’t know himself but now Cena actually had some examples to really hammer the point home. I’m looking forward to the match and I’m actually buying Miz and Maryse having a chance, which is a lot more than I was expecting. Nikki beating Maryse would be far more acceptable than Cena beating Miz, but you can probably pencil in the stereo submissions.
American Alpha/Mojo Rawley/Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos/Breezango/Dolph Ziggler
All ten of them will be in the battle royal. Jordan and Ziggler start things off with an amateur sequence on the mat and Dolph is just in over his head. Gable comes in to take over on Ziggler’s arm and it’s off to Slater for more of the same. Rhyno adds a belly to belly as this is one sided so far.
Back from an early break with Gable getting taken into the wrong corner so Fandango can come in for two off a hard whip into the corner. I know he’s a low level guy but maybe an improvement in offense would help. Jimmy dives over to break up the tag but Gable drops him as well, meaning it’s off to the (near) hometown boy with Rawley cleaning house. A parade of superkicks is capped off with Rhyno Goring Ziggler, followed by Rawley’s running right hand knocking out Breeze at 11:00.
Rating: D+. Did Breeze run over Vince’s dog or something? At least he lost to a power move from a power wrestler this time instead of being beaten up by Nikki Bella. This was a fun way to help set up the battle royal and even though none of these people have a chance, I can appreciate throwing in some false hope.
Luke Harper has seen the truth: he doesn’t need Bray Wyatt. Bray should run.
We run down the Wrestlemania card. Naomi is officially added to the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which has been moved to the pre-show. As a bonus, the Raw Tag Team Titles match will now be a ladder match.
We see Bray doing…..something to Orton with that stick thing last week. Yeah I’m still not sure what that was, though multiple masked men helping him is interesting.
Bray Wyatt vs. Luke Harper
Non-title and Harper is now in a clean black shirt. Dang he really is mixing it up. Bray starts fast with the running body attack but gets dropkicked out to the floor and punched in the face. Harper throws him over the barricade and we take an early break. Back with Luke escaping the release Rock Bottom, only to have Bray block the powerbomb. That means the Rock Bottom can connect, only to have Sister Abigail broken up. Luke gets in the suicide dive and a big boot is good for two. Back up and Bray goes into trance mode, freezing Luke long enough for Sister Abigail to put him away at 8:33.
Rating: D. Yeah I really wasn’t feeling this one and I really would have preferred Harper being allowed to get a title shot after a few weeks’ build. This could have been something special but it was still the same Bray hypnosis bit (Now I want to watch an Osirian Portal match.) with Harper losing the big match. He’s starting to make me think of Cesaro and that’s not a good thing.
Post match Orton appears on screen, kneeling over Sister Abigail’s grave. Bray has claimed that Abigail gave her powers to him but Orton pulls out the same weapon used on him last week (How did he get that?) and stabs the dirt. Orange sparks fly out to end the show on a rather dumb note.
Overall Rating: C. This was an acceptable go home show but as is so often the case with WWE, it’s all over the place. First of all, you have a classic segment with Cena vs. Miz. Those two have some very underrated chemistry together and I’ve liked their stuff since all the way back in 2009. I’m not crazy on the mixed tag but they’ve really brought me around on it.
On the other hand though, WWE slipped on two major matches: the Orton vs. Wyatt match with the really stupid ending and Corbin vs. Ambrose with the really stupid lack of everything. You would think they could at least have a promo (like they had on Talking Smack) but in this case, there wasn’t as much that could be cut.
Finally, the Women’s Title match being moved to the pre-show is fine and if nothing else it eliminates a bunch of entrances that would take up pay per view time. As great as Alexa has been, I’m fine with them just being on the pre-show as it’s not like people are really dying to see this one.
Overall, Smackdown should be fine on Sunday though I’m a bit worried about how well Orton vs. Wyatt is going to go. If they do a hard hitting, back and forth match, everything will be fine and it’ll come close to match of the night. If they do something stupid with Sister Abigail appearing…..well it might be better than Orton getting the title, though I’m not sure he will. Anyway, fine go home show but Sunday is still a potential big misfire for reasons beyond Smackdown’s control.
Results
Carmella b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Alexa Bliss and Mickie James interfered
Carmella/Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch/Mickie James – Rollup to Lynch
Mojo Rawley/Heath Slater/Rhyno/American Alpha b. Usos/Breezango/Dolph Ziggler – Running right hand to Breeze
Bray Wyatt b. Luke Harper – Sister Abigail
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – October 28, 2002: The Default Upgrade
Monday Night Raw Date: October 28, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This show comes in with a very simple advantage: it’s not the Katie Vick episode. There have been well over 1000 episodes of Monday Night Raw (we’ll hit #500 by the end of 2002) and last week’s might have been absolute rock bottom. There have been horrible shows before, but even the 1993/1994 episodes mainly focused on wrestling. Last week focused on sexual intercourse with a mannequin in a casket. Something tells me this one will be an improvement. Let’s get to it.
There’s a casket at ringside. I……they wouldn’t. Someone tell me they wouldn’t do this again.
Opening sequence.
Here’s HHH to get things going (I guess having escaped from the car without a scratch) and I already have a bad feeling about this. HHH sets up a chair in the ring and gives Kane some advice: make sure that there isn’t a child safety latch in the back of the trunk. Makes sense actually. Anyway, as for the tape from last week, some people were offended by it and said they would never watch Raw again. HHH agrees, because the things that Kane did to the body were disgusting but the only opinion that matters is from Katie Vick.
He heads outside and opens the casket to reveal the mannequin, who looks “dead tired”. HHH takes her inside and, I kid you not, it’s time for ventriloquism. Katie found last week’s tape painful because Kane’s, ahem, equipment was burned and small. It’s just like his attempts at winning the World Title: it comes up a bit short. Katie almost fall off his lap and Lawler calls her “dead sexy”. HHH doesn’t care if anyone was offended last week because he’s doing what he wants. Cue Hurricane (described as Kane’s former tag team partner) to ask why HHH is all giggles about escaping. “Whatsupwiththat?” See, he has his own footage.
Last week, HHH was in a hospital (it’s a man on a table with a paper HHH mask on) and various objects are pulled out of a certain orifice, including a sledgehammer, a magic handkerchief (like a clown would pull from his pocket), a hand, a squirrel, a gear shift, a steering wheel (JR: “Is this a hospital or Brisco Brothers?”) and HHH’s own head. This is accompanied by the doctors sounding like they’re chiseling and hammering, along with one of them calling for more KY jelly. Also of note, the HHH mask changes expressions as each object is pulled out.
Back in the arena, HHH beats up the mannequin (whose wig comes off, revealing that it’s a man) until Kane comes out for the fight. This brings out Bischoff with referees and wrestlers to break it up. Eric makes a casket match for later tonight to FINALLY end this way too long segment.
While last week’s segment was further down the horrible scale, this was way up there on the dumb comedy scale. This felt like Vince hearing the reaction to last week and saying “I’LL SHOW YOU OFFENSIVE!” Kane has already lost the big title match and I have no desire to see him challenge again. Just get us to HHH vs. Shawn which at least had an amazing first match to build from. I can’t wait for this stupid story to wrap up already because it might be the low point in Raw’s history.
A hidden camera shows Trish Stratus on the phone with her mom as she changes her clothes.
William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer
Before the match, Regal rips on America for being scared to walk their own streets but they’ll send their kids out trick or treating. Storm and Van Dam start while Dreamer is wearing a hat on the apron. Van Dam gets in a spinning kick for two so it’s off to Regal, who is pulled over the top after the tag.
Regal’s half nelson suplex gets two and we get one heck of an RVD chant as Storm works on an armbar. Another kick allows the hot tag off to Dreamer for some right hands as the hat falls off. Everything breaks down with Rob diving onto the barricade instead of a moving Storm. The distraction lets Storm hit Dreamer with a flagpole for the pin.
Rating: C-. For a match this short, I’ve seen far worse. This worked well enough with two different styles and the pure wrestlers going with the weapons to win because they cheated. Not bad here, though that RVD chant gives you even more proof about how horrible an idea it was to have HHH go over him so hard.
Eric Bischoff yells at 3 Minute Warning and Rico, basically telling them to make an impact or get out.
Stacy Keibler, in a very nice outfit, comes up to Test because she’s now in charge of ideas for his career. Her first idea: call his fans the Testicles! Vince wrote that line didn’t he? Testicle jokes abound.
Tag Team Titles: Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Dudley Boyz
Jericho and Christian are defending but here are Rico and 3 Minute Warning to jump Bubba and Spike. No match.
Batista is still coming.
Goldust vs. Test
Test gives the Testicles a greeting and gets punched in the face for his efforts. We’ll leave the Golden Globes lines to Goldust if Test doesn’t mind. Some elbows in the corner have Goldust in trouble and we hear about Scott Steiner being signed over the weekend. The middle rope bulldog gets two but here’s Stacy to break up Shattered Dreams. That means the kiss from Goldust, who puts her in the other corner for Shattered Dreams. The referee protects Stacy of course but she gets in a low blow to set up Test’s big boot for the pin.
Bubba yells at Bischoff, who says he can have any partner tonight for a shot at the titles. Eric also denies sending 3 Minute Warning out there.
Scott Steiner video.
We look back at Shawn Michaels’ promo from last week where he said he’s coming for HHH….but we get an RNN BREAKING NEWS UPDATE! That would mean Randy Orton, who was gone last week because he’s working so hard to rehab his shoulder. With the fans’ support, he’ll be back in no time. JR: “Well isn’t that special?”
Kane doesn’t care that his casket match is non-title. What happened to Katie Vick was an accident but tonight will be intentional.
Tag Team Titles: Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Jeff Hardy
Bubba and Jeff are defending. I’ve heard worse ideas as it’s not like they have anything else going on at the moment. Granted it’s also another sign that WWE has no idea how to rebuild a tag division after its three major teams all split. Jeff starts fast by dropping the legs between Christian’s legs before it’s off to Bubba for the right hands. Naturally the fans already want tables, which JR says would be a DQ because JR has common sense.
Jericho comes in and sends Bubba throat first into the ropes for the running crotch attack. That goes nowhere either though and it’s back to Jeff but the referee gets bumped. Jeff gets sent to the floor so it’s Conchairto time, only to have Bubba duck just in time. Both champs are sent outside via a catapult and Jeff hits one heck of a dive over the top. Cue 3 Minute Warning but Bubba DIVES OFF THE TOP to take down the two of them plus Jericho.
We actually take a break and come back with Jeff in trouble (probably the best move) after a toss over the floor banged up his leg. Christian grabs a front facelock which naturally gives us the unseen tag to Bubba. Jeff fights up but gets caught in the sleeper drop as the champs keep control.
Back up and Jeff completely misses a spinning crossbody (hopefully the director gets a fruit basket for changing the angle fast enough to hide it as well as possible) and the hot tag brings in Bubba. House is cleaned and Jeff blind tags himself in for What’s Up (with a legdrop) on Christian. Since he can’t help himself, Bubba goes for a table but Christian dropkicks it back into his face.
The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Jericho and Bubba spears a belt out of Christian’s hands. With the champs in trouble, here are Rico and 3 Minute Warning holding an unconscious Spike upside down. Bubba gives chase but Jeff hits the Swanton on Jericho for two anyway. Christian makes the save and the distraction lets Jericho get in a belt shot, followed by the Lionsault for the pin to retain.
Rating: B. Well that was surprising, though I’m not sure why given who was in there. Above all else they gave this some time instead of cramming everything into five minutes. I know it takes away from time for Testicle jokes but more often than not, having a good match is going to cure a lot of your problems.
HHH accuses Kane of wanting to have sex with him because they’ll be around a casket. He’s not worried about Shawn either but gets a phone call and cuts the interview short. HHH goes into his dressing room and F-VIEW (the new name for the hidden camera earlier) shows him talking to Flair, who isn’t here tonight. He’s a lot more nervous than he seems. I have no idea why this needed to exist.
Al Snow yells at Christopher Nowinski for being a jerk and not appreciating his efforts. Nowinski says he’ll beat ANYONE tonight but wants Snow ringside.
Here’s Bischoff for a chat. In addition to Scott Steiner coming to Raw, he’s received a host of talent in exchange for Big Show. Not that he mentions any of them but I’m sure it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, Raw is awesome because of things like the hidden cameras, which Bischoff put in place. I’d assume Trish will be suing him by Wednesday.
As for Survivor Series, the Elimination Chamber is coming and he’ll have details on it next week. Tonight all he’ll tell us is that it’s going to have six superstars and be part Survivor Series, part Royal Rumble and part WarGames. The title will be on the line with HHH defending against Chris Jericho, Booker T., Rob Van Dam, Kane and Shawn Michaels. Those sound like details to me Eric. As for Shawn, he has one week to get back to Eric….and here’s Booker T. to interrupt. He doesn’t really have anything to say but he seems happy to be in the title match.
Christopher Nowinski vs. Booker T.
Snow is at ringside. Booker hammers him down to start until a hot shot gives Nowinski a breather. A powerslam gets two on Booker and we’re off to a chinlock (With Nowinski’s back to the camera. Contrary to what WWE wants you to believe, it really doesn’t make much of a difference.). Booker makes a quick escape and gets in a spinning kick to the face. That sends Chris outside….where he hits Snow to start a brawl, meaning he beats Booker by DQ.
Rating: D-. So let’s recap: Booker T. is put into a World Title match in the main event of a pay per view in the previous segment and LOSES TO FREAKING CHRIS NOWINSKI in the next match in a spot that literally could have been anyone in the company? I know 2002 is considered a dark time for WWE but this is pure stupidity.
Booker beats both guys up post match.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly
Trish is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. During the entrances, Lawler gets in this gem: “I had a nightmare about Trish last night. I dreamed that I was six months old and she was my mother but I was a bottle baby!” Molly gets knocked outside to start so Jackie tries some rollups before grabbing a half crab. Now it’s Molly coming back in to grab the other leg but the challengers let go to fight each other. Jackie blocks the Stratusphere and gets two off a DDT. Not that it matters as a double Stratusfaction is enough to put Molly away and retain the title. This was nothing.
HHH vs. Kane
Non-title and a casket match. Kane slugs him down in the corner to start but it’s way too early for the casket. Back up and HHH is tossed over the top for a big crash out to the floor as JR talks about cremation. A bell to the head drops Kane and, since hitting him with it again isn’t an option for some reason, HHH opts for punches. The spinebuster and facebuster set up a DDT as Lawler wonders if HHH is right about what Kane REALLY wants. JR: “Is there anything wrong with that?” Kane fights his way out of the casket but gets crotched on top. That means a superplex but Kane still won’t stay in.
Neither finisher can hit so HHH puts on the sleeper, even though it hasn’t won anything in about a month now. Nearly ten minutes into the match, Lawler FINALLY points out that these two will be in the Chamber. Granted that only means they’ll be losing to Nowinski. There’s the top rope clothesline but HHH kicks him low to break the chokeslam. HHH chairs him down a few times but here’s Shawn out of the casket to clean house. Sweet Chin Music is enough to let Kane get in a chokeslam and throw HHH in the casket for the win.
Rating: D. See? HHH will TOTALLY do a job as long as he doesn’t have to get pinned and it only takes two former World Champions (one of which is contractually obligated to be Shawn) to get it done! The match was as dull as you would expect, though the action wasn’t bad. Kane has just lost so much heat and there’s no way to repair that in a match like this, especially with that ending.
Kane disappears so Shawn can dance on the casket to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. That tag match helped a lot but the rest of the show ranged anywhere from stupid ideas (Booker losing five minutes after being announced as a World Title contender) to wastes of time (the triple threat). The show is just lacking any energy or anything worth watching as Shawn is the only thing close to interesting and he’s locked in with HHH, who is going to suck the life out of anything. Bad show here and that’s likely to be the case as long as HHH is on top.
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