Fastlane 2017
Date: March 5, 2017
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the final show before Wrestlemania XXXIII and it’s fairly clear that this is just a way to fill in time before Orlando. The main event is Kevin Owens defending the Universal Title against Goldberg, which has a serious chance of being a squash. Of course it also has the chance of Chris Jericho interfering and costing his former friend the title. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Noam Dar/Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa/Rich Swann

Take two feuds (Kendrick vs. Tozawa/Swann vs. Dar) and throw them into one match. Tozawa starts firing off the kicks early on with Dar barely able to keep up. It’s off to Swann for the stereo dives but Kendrick and Dar hide behind Alicia Fox before anything can happen to them.

Back from a break with Swann in trouble as Dar and Kendrick take turns working on the arm. Kendrick chokes in the corner with his boot before it’s back to Dar for a more standard armbar. Swann finally sends Noam into the corner and it’s time for the hot tag to Tozawa. Now the double dives work just fine and Kendrick eats a Shining Wizard. Swann kicks Dar down and it’s a snap German suplex into the Phoenix splash to put Noam away at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what this pre-show match is supposed to be as the cruiserweights did their usual high spots and fast paced offense to wake the fans up. Dar taking the pin makes sense as he can just do one of his annoying promos to get back on the annoying side where he belongs.

The opening video talks about how important it is to have momentum on the way to Wrestlemania while looking at the major matches. Strowman vs. Reigns doesn’t warrant a major mention though.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

This has a lot of potential. Joe debuted a few weeks back and talked about earning his spot here instead of being all happy to be here like Zayn. Feeling out process to start with Sami avoiding for a few moments until a big kick to the chest puts him down. The kneebar doesn’t work just yet but Joe does get in an enziguri in the corner to really knock Sami silly. A surfboard hold makes things even worse for Zayn but he flips over onto Joe for two. Sami tries to get all fired up so Joe spinwheel kicks the leg to put him right back down.

A quick (and better than expected) Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Joe but the offense ends there as Joe boots him in the chest again. The backsplash gets two and Sami is all shaken up. He still manages a small package, only to have to escape a MuscleBuster. Not that it matters as Joe enziguris him again but can’t get a superplex. Instead Joe is sent face first into the buckle but he still Grabs Sami in the STO out of the corner. The Koquina Clutch ends Zayn at 9:13.

Rating: B. Sami passing out in the hold after fighting with everything he had was exactly what this needed to be. Joe is still establishing himself on the roster and a match where he’s able to fight off everything Sami throws at him and then choke him out for the win is a great start. Sami will be just fine though as he always is and that’s one of his major strengths: you can have him lose so many times and just a single win gets him right back on track.

Bayley isn’t worried about Dana Brooke having Charlotte’s back tonight. If Charlotte is the champion she claims to be, she’ll face Bayley one on one. Nia Jax comes up and says if Charlotte doesn’t take the title, she will.

Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows

Enzo and Cass beat Sheamus and Cesaro to earn this shot. Before the match we get some cheap pops from Enzo and Cass about the local sports teams (that will always work) and a few jabs at the champs’ bald heads. Cass slugs away on Anderson to start before Amore does the big dive onto both champions. Anderson gets in a running knee to the head though and Gallows throws in a double Too Sweet to remind us of more entertaining groups gone by.

It’s off to the chinlock before Amore manages to get Gallows outside. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as Anderson knees him in the face. Anderson misses a charge in the corner though and it’s the hot tag to Big Cass. House is quickly cleaned and the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka looks to finish, only to have Gallows make the last second save. A running knee to Enzo is enough for the pin to retain at 9:00 with Gallows shoving the boot off the ropes.

Rating: D+. Just a Raw match here as you almost had to expect from this one. It wasn’t very entertaining but that’s the standard for the tag division anymore. Why would I care about the match when the build has been almost non-existent and neither team is really all that interesting in the first place?

Stephanie’s plane is stuck on the tarmac so Mick Foley is in charge tonight. She yells at him for telling her to relax. She’s going to stay on the phone with him for the rest of the show but as luck would have it, Mick accidentally hangs up on her.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks. Jax beat on Banks for a few months while exploiting Sasha’s bad knee. This match is taking place because Banks said she would be in Bayley’s corner later tonight, which wasn’t cool with Stephanie.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Banks tries some dropkicks to start but a hard whip into the corner cuts her off in a hurry. A backbreaker makes things even worse and Nia runs her over again for good measure. Nia cranks on both arms before getting kicked in the head for the break. It’s off to a torture rack (great visual with Sasha bent bent around like that) and Nia even does some squats for good measure.

Banks spins out into most of a guillotine before a faceplant sets up the Bank Statement. The crowd gets WAY into this for a second but Jax easily powers free. A Faarooq style spinebuster sets up a legdrop to Banks’ back and it’s time to gloat. Nia gloats a bit too long though and a quick rollup into a bridge gives Sasha the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This is the formula I was expecting out of Sami vs. Joe actually but the ending was a big surprise. I like the idea of Banks getting the win here as it gives her some momentum back while also making Jax look vulnerable for a change. I’m sure there’s going to be a rematch and Jax can run her over there, presumably setting up the Wrestlemania match a bit more.

Earlier tonight, Mick Foley gave Jinder Mahal and Rusev singles matches because they want to end their team.

Mahal and Rusev come out for their matches but get in a fight with Mahal actually getting the better of things.

Cesaro vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is in early trouble and a backbreaker gives Cesaro an early two. He seems to have hurt his back though and can’t get the apron superplex. A dropkick to the back gets two on Cesaro and a running knee gets the same. The slow beating continues until Mahal’s suplex is reversed to give Cesaro a breather. Cesaro hits the Uppercut Train and the Swiss 1 9 (oh give me a break) makes things even worse. Jinder breaks up the Swing but gets in a staredown with Rusev, allowing the pop up uppercut to end Mahal at 8:33.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was fine but my goodness this was one of the least interesting ideas I could possibly think of. Mahal was never interesting either as a singles guy or as a tag wrestler but we’re supposed to be interested in seeing him on a pay per view in a singles match? It’s nice to see Cesaro win something for a change though.

Rusev beats Mahal up post match and here’s his opponent.

Big Show vs. Rusev

You would have expected Sheamus here no? Rusev has gotten one heck of a haircut. The USA chants begin as Show chokes in the corner and then on the ropes. A headbutt makes things even worse and the Final Cut gets two on the Bulgarian. Show clotheslines him a few times as this has been completely one sided.

Rusev finally takes out the knee and it’s off to a leglock as the fans keep chanting USA. A shot to Rusev’s face breaks the hold (Graves: “This could be devastating to his handsome status!”) and he bails to the floor. Back in and the chokeslam is broken up, followed by a trio of superkicks for two. The Accolade is broken up though and a chokeslam plants Rusev for no cover. There’s a second and third chokeslam followed by the KO Punch for the pin on Rusev at 9:38.

Rating: D. I’m assuming this was a way to help set up Big Show vs. Shaquille O’Neal at Wrestlemania, even though they keep hinting that the match isn’t happening for some reason. Rusev was completely squashed here, but what do you expect after he was attacked by the likes of Jinder Mahal earlier?

Kevin Owens doesn’t think anything of Goldberg because Goldberg has won a single match in about ten years. He’s not wrong you know. It doesn’t matter who he faces because he’ll keep the title as long as he wants.

Austin Aries package with Aries making some package jokes before and after.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Jack Gallagher

Neville is defending after Jack won a five way for the shot. Gallagher starts the mind games by doing the headstand in the corner a few times to really confuse the champ. A dropkick puts Neville on the floor but he snaps Gallagher throat first across the top rope to take over. Neville’s reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Gallagher comes back with forearms to the head, followed by a suicide dive of all things. The announcers make sure to point out how rare that is for him in a rare nice job.

Back in and a superplex gets two on the champ but he comes back with something like a Stroke. Jack is sent chest first into the ropes though and a wicked snap German knocks Gallagher silly. A middle rope Phoenix splash is only good for two though and Jack gets in the headbutt.

Another headbutt puts Neville down and Gallagher falls on top for two. The running corner dropkick misses but Gallagher breaks up the superplex attempt. Another very, very hard headbutt knocks Neville down on the top but he throws Jack down in a huge crash. The Red Arrow retains the title at 12:08.

Rating: B. This was WAY better than I was expecting and this was by far and away the best match on the show. I had a lot of fun with it as Gallagher was doing his thing here and showing that he has the chops to hang in the ring. That being said, when Neville turns it on, no one can hang with him and it’s really not even close. I loved this match and it was by far and away the best thing on the show so far.

Paul Heyman doesn’t care if Goldberg or Owens wins tonight because Brock Lesnar wins no matter what. If Goldberg wins, their match is now a title match. If Owens wins, Lesnar will have a plan on how to beat Goldberg.

Here’s New Day with a bicycle powered ice cream cart. When they had an idea for a cereal, all they had was a t-shirt and a dream. Then they heard the voices…..Big E.: “I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD! THEY TALK TO ME……”. Now they stand before you again with a new t-shirt and a dream but Big E. starts trying to sing again. Woods and Kofi think he’s been sipping on something but now there’s an opportunity. The fans have a chance to have their voices heard and it’s all about this New Day bike. They’re riding it all the way down the Road to Wrestlemania and….that’s it. There’s no followup to it and we’re done.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns. Strowman wants competition and has attacked Reigns a few times so here’s the big showdown.

Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns’ shoes are white on the bottom and it’s very distracting. Is he supposed to be a white feet babyface? Strowman shoves him into the corner to start but Reigns smiles at a shot to the mouth. A clothesline puts Strowman over the top but he pulls Reigns outside and sends him into the steps. Strowman gets in a spinebuster to start in on the ribs and a huge beal sends Reigns flying.

Roman can’t get him in a fireman’s carry so Strowman grabs his own Samoan drop. A splash sets up a chinlock and they head outside again with Strowman loading up the announcers’ table. That goes nowhere and Strowman goes shoulder first into the post to give Reigns his first real opening. The Samoan drop gets two but Strowman pops back up with the powerbomb into a faceplant for two of his own. A missed charge sends Strowman outside though and he comes up holding his knee.

Reigns gives chase (he’s got the shoes for it) and gets powerslammed through the table for his efforts. Strowman can’t follow up because of the knee though and Reigns gets in a spear for two. Some Superman Punches stagger Braun again but he punches Reigns down (fans: “THANK YOU STROWMAN!”). Braun goes up (Cole: “GET DOWN FROM THERE STROWMAN!”) but misses a top rope splash, setting up a spear to give Reigns the pin at 17:13.

Rating: B+. I’m very split on this one because it’s a heck of a match but WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THE POINT IN BUILDING STROWMAN UP LIKE THAT TO HAVE HIM LOSE HERE??? That’s the big shine taken away from Strowman for the sake of another chorus of groaning from the crowd because HAHA REIGNS WINS AGAIN. This actually sucked the life out of me and that’s hard to do after a great match. Yes it was great because they let Reigns be a superhero (with white shoes) but there was no reason for Reigns to win clean here, period.

Foley tells Samoa Joe to stay out of the main event or face the consequences.

We recap Bayley vs. Charlotte. Bayley won the title last month and Charlotte is getting her pay per view rematch. The idea is Bayley can win on Raw but Charlotte always wins when the lights are on bright.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Bayley is defending and Charlotte steps in front of Dana Brooke, much to Dana’s chagrin. Charlotte takes her to the mat for an early two and Bayley gets the same off La Majistral. They head outside with Bayley grabbing a hurricanrana off the apron, followed by a high crossbody for two. Bayley gets caught in the ropes though and Charlotte drops a knee to take over. We hit the figure four necklock followed by a legdrop to give Charlotte two.

We’re in a rather slow pace here but Charlotte picks it up a bit with the moonsault for two. Bayley pops right back up and gets in a belly to back suplex for a near fall of her own. It’s off to the Tree of Woe with Bayley COMPLETELY missing the springboard elbow to the point where neither the fans nor the announcers reacted to it. The thing really was that bad.

They both head to the corner and I don’t see this ending well. Charlotte knocks her back into the ring but Bayley is right there with a forearm to the head to set up a much better looking hurricanrana. Now it’s Bayley going up for a top rope elbow and another near fall as this is already starting to get better. Charlotte kicks the knee out but can’t hook the Figure Four just yet.

Bayley is sent into the barricade but here’s Sasha Banks to break up the moonsault. The distraction lets Bayley get in the Bayley to Belly on the floor (it’s not clear if she saw Sasha) but Charlotte gets in a small package with a handful of tights. Sasha tells the ref though and there’s no count, allowing another Bayley to Belly to finish Charlotte off at 16:42.

Rating: C+. The tights thing is fine but there was no reason for Banks to be down there in the first place. It certainly feels like we’re planting the seeds for a heel turn though as Banks came out there when she wasn’t needed (it’s not like Bayley was done or anything) and cheated. I’m not sure why it wasn’t a DQ and it’s a very lame way to have Charlotte lose her first pay per view title match.

Bayley points at the sign and Sasha cheers her on.

We recap Seth Rollins and HHH’s segment on Raw.

We recap Goldberg vs. Kevin Owens. Goldberg beat Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series and now he’s the #1 contender. Owens is just kind of there but he’s cranked up the evil in recent weeks so there’s some doubt to this one.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg

Owens is defending. Goldberg gets a nice pop but Owens gets a louder one when his music hits (though it dies very quickly). Owens bails to the floor before the bell and it’s now 11:00, meaning a show with a JINDER MAHAL match added is getting an overrun. Kevin gets to the apron two more times and bails again both times. Owens finally gets in, Jericho comes out for a distraction, spear, Jackhammer, new champion in 22 seconds.

I’m not even mad really. Everyone and their mother knew Goldberg was getting the title here and defending it against Lesnar at Wrestlemania (because of course) but that makes it worse in a way. The whole “GOLDBERG IS STILL UNSTOPPABLE” thing was fun once but much like giving the Rock the title in 2013, it feels completely unnecessary. Tell me how Goldberg vs. Lesnar is better with the title on the line. If you can somehow make that work, this makes sense. Unfortunately, that’s simply not the case and it makes for a very uninteresting Wrestlemania main event. At least there was a distraction though, which does help.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a great, great example of a show where the booking completely overshadows the wrestling (which ranged from Raw levels to very, very good). Look at the last hour and fifteen minutes. Reigns wins clean, Bayley wins in a booking decision that makes Charlotte the underdog and Goldberg is now World Champion after having wrestled less than two minutes in twelve years. I don’t know if Goldberg is capable of wrestling a long match (it would honestly surprise me given the circumstances) but can you imagine if they do this at Wrestlemania with the prices people are paying for those seats? This could be your main event? Goldberg vs. Lesnar going 90 seconds?

The rest of the show really wasn’t anything noteworthy and a lot of this felt like it could have happened on Raw. Other than that Charlotte’s pay per view loss and the title change, what felt like it belonged on a pay per view? Fastlane really didn’t need to be a pay per view but we have to have something to get those free subscriptions right? Bad night, though check out Reigns vs. Strowman and the Cruiserweight match.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Sami Zayn – Koquina Clutch

Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Running knee to Amore

Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax – Rollup

Cesaro b. Jinder Mahal – Pop up uppercut

Big Show b. Rusev – KO Punch

Neville b. Jack Gallagher – Red Arrow

Roman Reigns b. Braun Strowman – Spear

Bayley b. Charlotte – Bayley to Belly

Goldberg b. Kevin Owens – Jackhammer

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Ring of Honor
Date: March 1, 2017
Location: Stage AE, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentator: Ian Riccabani

We’re getting very close to the Fifteenth Anniversary Show and now we have a main event set in stone with Christopher Daniels getting his shot at ROH World Champion Adam Cole. Other than that we have the start of the Top Prospect Tournament, which is always a guaranteed look into the future but that could be either a big hit or a big miss. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick speech from Daniels about his tournament win.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniels to welcome Pittsburgh to Ring of Honor. From the day he stepped foot in this company as a long haired babyface named Christopher Daniels (“Well, I don’t know about fresh faced or long haired but I was there!”). He knew it was his destiny to be the ROH World Champion and he has his chance on March 10 in Las Vegas.

Cue Adam Cole and it’s STORYTIME BABY! Cole says he’ll beat Fish in New York City (causing Fish to crack up on commentary) but Daniels looks like he wants a fight with Bullet Club right now. Adam Page runs through the crowd to jump Daniels but Kazarian runs out for the save. Fish: “Take your time Frankie!” Make your own Teddy Long joke.

Adam Page/Adam Cole vs. Addiction

Kazarian and Page head to the floor as Fish accuses Kazarian of hanging his partner out to dry. Daniels doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a good looking suicide dive to take out the Adams. A hurricanrana over the ropes doesn’t quite work though and Cole superkicks Daniels into a commercial.

Back with Cole taking too much time posing and charging into an elbow. The STO is enough for the tag off to Kazarian and a Backstabber plants Cole. House is quickly cleaned and the champ dives into a cutter for two more. Cole and Daniels slug it out in the ring with Daniels planting him off an STO. Daniels loads up the BME but lands on a raised boot, allowing Cole to grab a rollup for the clean pin at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This was more entertaining than I was expecting and that’s always fun. Addiction was a good heel team but I’m digging them even better as faces. The match wasn’t long enough to mean much and I’m somewhat intrigued about the idea of Daniels losing instead of doing the cliched “pin the champ before the title match” bit. If nothing else, Fish was really entertaining on commentary and makes me think he has a prayer in New York, which I’d never buy otherwise.

Kazarian yells at Daniels post match.

Fish cuts a quick promo about how Cole is playing checkers against a chess master. I know that’s the common line but how would a chess player beat a checkers play? I’ve never gotten how that line is supposed to make sense (yes I get what they’re going for).

Kazarian yells at Daniels again in the back.

Bob Evans replaces Fish on commentary, which is likely going to be a theme tonight.

Top Prospect Tournament First Round: John Skyler vs. Sean Carr

Skyler has made a few NXT appearances and calls himself the Southern Savior. Carr is always being asked why he’s not on TV and now he gets the chance. Feeling out process to start as I’m trying to find a reason to care about either of these guys. Skyler wins a slugout and takes him to the mat for a backsplash. It’s off to a chinlock for a bit as Evans talks about how important the ROH seminars really are.

Carr comes back with a superkick (he’s probably getting a job based on that alone) and a second sends Skyler to the floor. A suicide dive knocks John into the barricade. They head to the apron for a kick to the face that was so far from making contact that they had to cut the camera angle. Skyler spears him on the apron (looked cool) but gets caught in a middle rope Codebreaker for two. Back up and Skyler takes him to the middle rope for a super Regal Roll and the pin at 6:12.

Rating: C. Yeah I still don’t know who either of these guys are (Skyler was never much in NXT) and I have next to no reason to care about any of them. That’s always the problem with this tournament and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better with this edition. The match was fine but nothing exceptional, which makes for a rather uninteresting match when I have no reason to care because there’s no story.

The Kingdom thinks they’ll keep the titles forever and haven’t forgotten about Dalton Castle and the Boys. These titles continue to be the most worthless belts I’ve ever seen, including the Never Six Man Titles.

Tempura Boyz vs. Motor City Machine Guns

And never mind because the Guns have been attacked. No match.

We run down the Manhattan Mayhem card with Bobby Fish and Adam Cole giving some simple promos to set up their match. Cole has gotten much, much better on the mic.

Dalton Castle and the Boys are getting a Six Man Tag Team Title shot. They lost to the champs and the Rebellion but THEY’RE GETTING A TITLE SHOT??? I know I’d normally say they should have built a division before they have champions but New Japan did it first so it must be ok.

TV Title: Donovan Dijak vs. Marty Scurll

Marty is defending after Dijak won a big elimination match a few weeks back. The Code of Honor as Scurll throws a kick instead. Dijak knocks him outside instead and nails a suicide dive followed by a great looking springboard elbow for a near fall. Scurll knees his way out of a suplex attempt and we take a break.

Back with Scurll chopping away on the floor and Dijak getting kicked in the head for his efforts. Marty loads up a running kick so Dijak moonsaults off the apron to escape. That’s just scary athleticism. Scurll doesn’t really care as he kicks Dijak in the head for a near fall. Dijak is tired of getting kicked in the head (can’t say I blame him) as he picks Scurll up for a suplex but just tosses him with ease.

The chokebreaker is broken up as we see Lio Rush (#1 contender) watching on the stage. A sitout spinebuster gets two on the champ and it’s off to another break. Back again with Scurll elbowing his way out of another chokebreaker and kicking Dijak in the head. A piledriver gets two and Dijak is getting all fired up. Feast Your Eyes is only good for two and Scurll breaks the fingers to take over again. The crossface chickenwing and another broken finger (that sound never gets old) make Dijak tap at 13:39.

Rating: B+. This was all about the evil technician vs. the athletic freak but the fact that Dijak had already announced his exit from the promotion didn’t do it any favors. Scurll is getting better and better in this role as he just feels like a villain no matter how you look at him. I could go for more Dijak though as he’s just scary with the athleticism.

Rush comes to the ring and gets kicked in the head but the Rebellion comes out to chase Scurll off. The banged up Machine Guns and Jay White come out for another save and it’s a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Good show here which ROH has been needing for a few weeks now. The wrestling was better but more importantly than that it felt like they were actually getting ready for a big show. Fish is a good choice for the Manhattan challenger but the money seems to be in having Daniels make a run at the belt. Finally, I’m still not much of a Riccabani fan but I’d gladly take him as a neutral commentator over someone trying to play a character.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Wrestlemania IV
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Well the crowd is only about 1/5 the size of the one we had last year but there are even more matches this year. This is a one idea show: we’ve got a tournament. The WWF Title is vacant due to the ending of Hogan vs. Andre II at The Main Event (for you ratings people, this show earned a 15 rating on NBC live on a Friday night. Wrestling used to be HUGE.) when there was a twin referee brought in to cost Hogan the title. The title is now vacant and will be decided tonight. Let’s get to it.

Before I forget, it should be noted that as this aired, the NWA (WCW) was airing the first live Clash of the Champions for free on TBS. That show would have one of the best matches the company ever produced with Sting challenging Flair for the world title for the first time.

Here are the tournament brackets.

Hogan

BYE

Andre

BYE

Jim Duggan

Ted DiBiase

Don Muraco

Dino Bravo

Ricky Steamboat

Greg Valentine

Randy Savage

Butch Reed

Bam Bam Bigelow

One Man Gang

Rick Rude

Jake Roberts

Gene welcomes us to the show and presents Gladys Knight to sing America the Beautiful.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Ray Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, Harley Race, George Steele

Just for a big trophy here. Steele chills on the floor and Bob Uecker is in on commentary here. Sam Houston is put out quick as is Sika. Brunzell is sent to the apron by Nikolai but he makes the save. Both Bee’s are sent to the apron but Steele pulls Neidhart out to the floor. Both of the Bees are put out as is Ray Rougeau as the ring is thinning out a bit. Dog puts Bass out but has to fight off the Bolsheviks.

Hillbilly Jim is put out and Roma puts Davis out as well. We’re down to nine and Powers is out too. We’ve got Volkoff, Zhukov, Hart, Roma, Jacques Rougeau, Race, Brown, Patera and Dog. Race and Dog headbutt each other with the canine man winning. Nikolai is dumped by Patera and Zukov gets the same treatment.

Patera is pulled to the floor by Volkoff as Race and Rougeau go out. So it’s JYD, Hart and Brown to go. Dog gets on all fours to headbutt both heels but they finally catch up on him with some double teaming. He gets dumped out and Hart and Brown seem to be willing to split the win. Brown of course turns on Hart and dumps him out to win the trophy.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note other than the potential beginning of Bret’s first aborted singles push. The problem with battle royals is the same most of the time: there’s no reason for most of them to happen and with no story, there’s not much interest in the match. Sometimes you’ll get a good one, but this wasn’t it.

Brown stands next to the trophy (which stands about 6’0) but Bret jumps him and destroys the trophy.

Fink explains the tournament structure (mainly time limits and saying it’s winners only advancing) and introduces Robin Leech (hosted a show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous) to read a proclomation.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

DiBiase is one of the favorites here as he tried to buy the title which started the whole mess. Andre and Virgil are with him here. Ted immediately hides in the corner as the Battle of Mid-South begins. Duggan wins a slugout and an atomic drop puts DiBiase on the floor. I could watch DiBiase fall over the top all day. He was always great at falling over and made it look like a science.

Back in and Jim clotheslines him down before pounding away a bit more. DiBiase charges into a boot in the corner and hits a middle rope ax handle for two. Duggan comes back with a sunset flip of all things for two and to give Jesse a shock. A suplex puts DiBiase down and he jumps into a punch in the ribs to slow him down even more. Duggan slams him down but Andre trips him before the three point clothesline can be launched. Jim looks at Andre but gets caught in the back by a knee, sending DiBiase to the quarterfinals.

Rating: C-. DiBiase’s flipping was a good touch and they got to do some decent stuff in less than five minutes. That’s one of the problems with tonight’s show: since there are so many matches they have to keep things short. Duggan would eventually feud with Andre in some surprisingly decent matches.

Gene is with Brutus and while looking him up and down says “Brutus this is incredible what a package.” After that unintentional comedy, Gene asks Brutus if he’s worried about Jimmy Hart interfering in the IC Title match tonight. Brutus says Hart will get a haircut if he intereferes.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco

Bravo shoves him back into the corner to start to win the first power battle of the match. Muraco hammers him down and tries something like a Vader Bomb but basically just lands next to Bravo instead. Dino comes back with an elbow to the face and a gutwrench suplex for no cover. A knee in the corner misses Muraco so he starts hammering on the knee.

A spinning toehold has Bravo in trouble but Don gets kicked away and gets his head caught in the ropes. Dino uses Muraco’s own piledriver to get two but a second attempt is countered with a backdrop. They clothesline each other but it’s Muraco up first. He hits a flying forearm which works so well that he tries it again, but Bravo pulls the referee into Muraco for the DQ.

Rating: D+. this was slow and plodding but it wasn’t horrible. Muraco was far better when he was less muscular and evil and this part of his career never quite worked that well. One very nice thing here is Jesse freaking out when Bravo got disqualified but then saying it was correct when seeing Bravo pull the referee on the replay. It’s very refreshing to see something like that.

Bob Uecker warns Honky Tonk Man about getting beaten up by Brutus. Honky makes fun of Uecker’s batting average and threatens to backstroke up the Mississippi River. Uecker: “You guys ain’t never coming to my house!”

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Should be good. Steamboat brings the future Richie Steamboat to the ring with him in matching outfits. Feeling out process to start with Steamboat taking him down via an armdrag. Gorilla says Ricky has excellence of execution to coin a phrase. A few shoulders get two on Valentine so he throws Steamboat over the top. That of course doesn’t work on the Dragon so he comes back with a dropkick and a crucifix for two.

Valentine comes back with his usual elbows and forearms to put Steamboat down. He pulls Steamboat off the ropes so Ricky drops onto the back of his head. This allows Gorilla to bust out the term “external occipital protuberance”, to which Jesse replies “THE WHAT?” The voice Ventura says that in is hilarious. Apparently it’s that little bump on the back of your head. Steamboat reverses a suplex into one of his own and hooks an armbar. Jimmy Hart goes a rant of instructions to the Hammer which is such a lost art in wrestling.

Steamboat gets dropped on the back of his head, allowing for another discussion of whatever that thing is called. Gorilla: “External occipital protuberance.” Jesse: “Oh ok. Back of the head for all you normal people back there.” Valentine pounds away with elbows as Gorilla says they’re “right in the kisser, right between the eyes.” His biology knowledge is all over the place. Donald Trump is in the front row. Steamboat comes back with some chops for two but Greg puts him right back down with a gutbuster.

Valentine goes after the leg but the Figure Four is broken up. They chop it out with Steamboat taking over, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Valentine hits a top rope forearm but still can’t put the Figure Four on. Steamboat hits an elbow to the face and a top rope chop for two. He rams Valentine into the corner ten times and shoves the referee away when he tries to break it up. Ricky goes up and hits the cross body but Valentine rolls through to eliminate Steamboat.

Rating: C+. Like I said, decent stuff here although Steamboat would be gone pretty much immediately over wanting to take some time off. Vince said no so Ricky left wrestling for about nine months. Anyway, good stuff here from two guys that know how to work whatever kind of a match you ask them to. Valentine was great in a role like this where he wasn’t going to win anything but he could fill in a spot and do just fine.

Steamboat waves goodbye to the crowd so yeah this was it for him.

The British Bulldogs with their recently returned dog Matilda declare her a weasel dog for their six man against the Islanders and Heenan. Oh and Koko is here too.

Bobby Heenan gets a package and actually tips the delivery guy. Ok then.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Macho and Liz come out in matching blue and Liz really is beautiful. She’s also one of the few females in wrestling that stayed classy (until Russo got ahold of her) for almost her entire run. This is power vs. speed with Reed getting Savage in the corner early on. Jesse asks Gorilla if he would buy a car from Slick (Reed’s manager). Gorilla says no. Jesse: “Not even a bright blue Caddy?” These two are just freaking fun together. They knew how to work off each other so well and it made the late 80s a ton of fun.

Reed pounds away on Savage and guillotines him on the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and Butch stomps on Randy a bit before elbowing him right back down. Savage gets in a kick to the face and fires off some punches, only to get clotheslined down again. Reed goes up top but takes WAY too long to jaw at Liz, allowing Savage to slam him down and drop the elbow for the pin. The pop when Savage hits the elbow is HUGE. You could hear it starting lasts year in Detroit and now it’s full fledged here.

Rating: C-. This was basically a squash until the very end. Savage was great at building up sympathy from the crowd which is why the pops were so huge when he won here. Reed would also head to the NWA soon after this to do nothing for a year before joining Doom. Not much to see here but again, the time crunch hurts things a lot.

Uecker talks about trying to get with Vanna White tonight when Heenan and the Islanders come in. Heenan: “You talk about writing letters. You had 700,000 votes for the Hall of Fame. You would have had more but you ran out of stamps. Heenan isn’t worried about the six man later.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. One Man Gang

Gang pounds away in the corner to start and Bigelow is in trouble. This is one of those big guys that pound away on each other with basic stuff but it looks better because they’re huge matches. Bigelow comes back with a forearm and a low splash for two. Bam Bam pounds away and hits a headbutt and then about four more to take over. He hits the ropes and Slick pulls the rope down though and Gang pounds on him on the apron enough to cause a countout. Too short to rate but this was lame. I think Bigelow had a bad knee here too.

Hogan goes into one of his most bizarre and over the top promos here. He talks about slamming Andre and breaking the United States in half, sending Andre and his next two opponents into the ocean. The rest if going to be nearly verbatim because a description won’t do it justice. Talking about them falling into the ocean:

“And so will Donald Trump and all the Hulkamaniacs, but as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza with his family under his other arm, and as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD Donald Trump is a Hulkamaniac. He’ll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang onto the wife and kids and dog paddle all the way to safety. But Donald, if somehow you run out of gas, and all the Hulkamaniacs happen to run out of gas, just hang onto the largest back in the world and I’ll dog paddle and backstroke (wouldn’t the people on his back drown?) all of us to safety.”

So Hogan has just declared himself Jesus. You knew it was coming eventually.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

This is part of a BIG feud over Rude trying to get with Jake’s wife. Jake immediately goes for the part of Rude’s body that would mess with Rude the most: his face. Rude comes back with a slam and some right hands so Jake comes back with some slams of his own. Rude winds up in the corner with the snake and bails right into an arm wringer by Jake. Try as he might, Rude can’t fight out of the wristlock as it’s pretty clear this is going to last for awhile.

The hold is finally broken by Rude putting him on the top rope but Jake comes off the middle rope with a jumping knee lift to send Rick to the outside. Rude gets slammed again but this time the knee lift misses and Rick stomps away. Rick drops a knee and gets a VERY slow two count. We hit the chinlock and I open a book because we’re going to be here for a long time.

After about two minutes, Rude hits a token clothesline before hooking the chinlock all over again. Jake tries to fight back but gets launched into the head and dropped on his face. A top rope fist to a downed Jake gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. You can hear the fans booing now. Roberts tries a belly to back suplex but Rude still doesn’t break the hold.

Now the boring chants begin so Jake FINALLY hits a jawbreaker to get out of the hold and get the crowd going a bit. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude rams him into the corner. Jake is suplexed out of a headlock for two and both guys are down. Rude tries a pin with his feet on the ropes and the time runs out. The fans are NOT happy with that one.

Rating: D-. What in this is supposed to be appealing? We don’t get a DDT, we don’t get any comeuppance for Rude, we don’t get a winner, and we don’t even get a beating for Heenan. This was long and very dull with at least five minutes out of fifteen being spent in a chinlock. If you need to have two guys get eliminated to prevent another match later, wouldn’t it make sense to have this one go fast instead of going the time limit?

Gene and Vanna White look at the brackets so we’ll do that too.

Hogan

Andre

DiBiase

Muraco

Savage

Valentine

One Man Gang

BYE

Vanna has no idea who Bob Uecker is but she wants Hogan to win.

Hercules vs. Ultimate Warrior

They collide to start as the announcers recap the tournament. Hercules hits three straight clotheslines to put Warrior down to Jesse’s amazement. Warrior fires off some chops but gets backdropped out to the floor. They brawl on the floor for a bit as Heenan is reaching in his pockets. Both guys head back inside and pound on each other a little bit more with Warrior hitting the ten punches in the corner. Hercules comes out of the corner with an atomic drop and sends Warrior into the corner chest first. He puts on the full nelson but Warior climbs the corner and falls back ala Bret and Austin at Survivor Series 96 for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Warrior was rapidly becoming a force but it wouldn’t be another six months before he finally hit something special. Hercules would be around for a few more years but would never do anything of note. This was just a filler match to bridge the gap between the first and second rounds of the tournament.

We recap Hogan vs. Andre, which I’m sure you know the story of, at least up to Mania III. After that, Andre disappeared for the summer until leading his team to victory over Hogan’s team at the first Survivor Series (Hogan was counted out). So anyway DiBiase debuted and wanted to buy the world title but Hogan of course said no. DiBiase instead bought Andre from Heenan and said go get me the belt.

This led us to Indianapolis and the first Main Event, which completely destroyed every ratings record ever for wrestling, drawing a mind blowing 15 rating and 33 million viewers live on NBC on a Friday night. Today, 5 million people watching Raw is reasons for a celebration for Raw. Anyway, there was a screwjob finish with Dave Hebner’s twin brother Earl debuting as an imposter and counting a pin while Hogan’s shoulder was clearly up. Andre gave the title to DiBiase which didn’t fly with President Jack Tunney, so the title was held up and we got the tournament to settle things.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk charges into the ring but gets stomped down. DiBiase and Virgil are here in Andre’s corner. Hogan gets rammed into the corner and punched down by the giant but Hogan comes back with some forearms. He has to stop to beat up DiBiase and ram Ted and Andre’s heads together. Hogan chops Andre into the ropes and gets him tied up. DiBiase frees the arms but Hogan punches Andre down and drops some elbows, but the giant grabs him by the throat from the mat and takes over again.

Some standing choking ensues and Hogan goes down to his knees. That gets shifted into a nerve hold but Hogan fights up and fires away on Andre even more but can’t drop him. Hogan goes for a slam but DiBiase hits him in the back as Virgil distracts the referee. Hulk gets the chair away and hits Andre with the chair. Andre gets the chair away and hits Hulk with it, somehow drawing a double DQ despite Hogan clearly hitting Andre first.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t much from a quality standpoint but they were at a far faster pace than they were last year. That’s probably the right idea given how messed up Andre’s body was at this point though. Anyway, this is all part of the Master Plan which we’ll hear more about later on. Not a terrible match but it’s really just there to say it happened.

Hogan chases Virgil and DiBiase down with the former getting suplexed in the aisle. Hulk goes back in and slams Andre before posing for a few minutes despite not winning the match. It’s still going. He didn’t pose this much at last year’s show.

Savage and Liz (now in pink) say that Hogan was cheated and that he’s never been defeated. Oh and Macho is going to win.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Don Muraco vs. Ted DiBiase

The winner goes to the finals because of the double DQ. Ted comes out alone here for the first time tonight. Muraco pulls him into the ring by the hair and we’re ready to go. A quick powerslam gets two and Ted is reeling. There’s a clothesline for another two and Ted tries to bail. DiBiase finally gets to the floor and Billy Graham (Muraco’s manager) tries to hit him with his cane. Back in and Don tries to pull him out of the corner but gets pulled into the corner himself instead. DiBiase finally has some control but misses a falling reverse elbow off the middle rope. Muraco makes a quick comeback but walks into a hotshot for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but yet again the time hurts them a lot. There’s only so much you can do in about five minutes, although it was good to show that DiBiase could get a win on his own which he did here. Muraco would be gone pretty soon if I remember correctly. Not much of a match here but it wasn’t bad.

Demolition talks about hitting people over the head with ball bats and say they’ll win the titles.

One Man Gang’s bye is announced.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Savage takes over quickly with a slam and a knee drop for two but Valentine comes back with a pair of forearms, the second from the top rope. A shoulderbreaker gets two for Valentine and it’s time for some more elbows. Greg throws him to the floor and rams Randy into the barricade a few times. More elbows to the head and chest follow as Savage is in a lot of trouble.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the leg but Savage quickly grabs a rope. A suplex gets two for Valentine and Randy is in trouble. All of a sudden Savage goes NUTS (he’s fine then) and pounds away on Hammer with the top rope ax handle. He loads up another one but they kind of collide instead. Savage misses a charge at the ropes and Valentine tries the Figure Four again, only to get rolled up for the pin to advance Savage.

Rating: B-. It’s the best match of the tournament so far but that’s not saying much. Also it’s one of the longer matches of the tournament at just over six minutes so that probably has something to do with it. Savage took a beating in this but managed to sneak out with a win which is always cool to see. The fans continue to pop huge for him too which is a great sign.

Vanna White has no idea who Bob Uecker is. We look at the updated brackets:

Ted DiBiase

BYE

Randy Savage

One Man Gang

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sherri Martel is with Honky as Peggy Sue here which is a pretty amazing character change for her. This is during Honky’s insanely long run that drew a ton of money and is pretty awesome all around. Brutus hits a quick atomic drop and messes with Honky’s hair to play with his mind a bit. Honky bails to the floor as Jesse and Gorilla debate crooked referees. Back in and Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the buckle a few times as this is one sided so far.

A high knee sends the champion back to the floor but once back in, Beefcake gets caught by a shot to the stomach. Honky takes over and stomps away which is about the extent of his offense. He loads up the Shake Rattle and Roll but drops it and goes back to stomping. Honky tries it again but Brutus grabs the rope to block it. Beefcake pounds away a bit and grabs his sleeper but Jimmy knocks out the referee. Honky gets knocked but but there’s no referee so Brutus celebrates like an idiot. Brutus cuts Jimmy Hart’s hair for fun and Honky walks out. It’s a DQ I think.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as this show is just going WAY too long at this point. We’re only about two and a half hours into it and we’ve got four matches left. Brutus was just another guy in there to not get the title off Honky, which adds him to a list of about 10 guys who couldn’t do it. Honky would get his soon enough though.

In a semi-famous bit, Andre talks about DiBiase paying him to eliminate Hogan (not really a surprise) and then chokes Bob Uecker.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

There’s actually a story here. Heenan comes to the ring in a dog handlers’ outfit (remember the package from earlier?) because Matilda, the dog mascot of the Bulldogs, is back from being dognapped, presumably by the Islanders. Koko is there because when you need a filler, you call Koko B. Ware. We start with Dynamite vs. Tama but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Davey Boy for a nice power match.

Davey slams him down a few times and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. Back to Tama who is gorilla pressed up and down and it’s back to Haku. Jesse: “Heenan seems to be saving himself.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Did Gorilla just make a sex joke? I can feel my childhood crumbling as I type this. Koko comes in for some quick shots but it’s back to Dynamite for the clothesline that Benoit copied from him.

The Kid charges into a kick in the corner and here’s Heenan for the first time. He stomps on Dynamite, gets hit once in his padded suit, and runs away. That’s about what I expected. Tama tries a Vader Bomb but hits knees, allowing for another tag to Koko. He pounds on both Islanders but Haku takes him right back down. Tama comes in with a top rope chop and Heenan gets his second tag. Heenan chokes a bit but misses a charge into the post. Everything breaks down and the Islanders drop Heenan onto Koko for the pin.

Rating: C. I told you Koko was worthless in this. The stuff with the tag teams was pretty solid but the rest of it was as dull as you would expect. These six man tags with the Bulldogs in there don’t go that well for them but this was their last try at it. This was basically a comedy match and it was only kind of funny.

Jesse Ventura is introduced to the crowd for some posing.

Ted DiBiase’s bye is announced.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: One Man Gang vs. Randy Savage

Savage and Liz are in black for this one. Randy tries to lock up with him to start which isn’t his best play here. Gang shoves him into the corner and pounds him down then does it again for a few more minutes. A pair of splashes miss and an elbow sends Gang into the ropes and out to the floor. Savage tries a slam but gets choked down instead. Liz gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Slick throws in the cane, but Gang gets caught swinging it for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and Savage on defense can’t save most of a match. This is the second win over a Slick client of the night and he would spend the summer feuding with more of them. Gang was a decent big man but at the end of the day he was just another monster for a hero to vanquish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that as people can make a great living like that, especially in the 80s.

Savage gets hit with the cane anyway but he still comes back and sends Gang into Slick.

The finals are DiBiase vs. Savage.

Bob Uecker can’t catch up with Vanna.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Strike Force

Strike Force is one of my favorite teams ever and is comprised of Rick Martel and Tito Santana. They had been champions for something like five months and are still considered transitional champions. Smash and Martel start things off and the former lives up to his namesake by beating Rick down. Everything breaks down quickly for a bit and the result is the champions in control. Tito comes in to work over the arm of Ax before it’s off to Smash for more arm cranking.

Demolition comes back with a standing Hart Attack before it’s back to Ax for a powerslam. Smash suplexes Tito down for two but an elbow drop misses. Ax comes back in and gets caught out of nowhere by the flying forearm (Jesse: “He learned that in the Mexican Football League.”). There’s the hot tag to Martel and it’s dropkicks a go-go. The Boston Crab goes on Smash but Tito goes after Ax. The forearm takes him down but Fuji slides in the cane. Rick gets blasted in the back of the head, giving Demolition their first titles. They would hold those belts for over a year and a half.

Rating: C+. Power vs. speed is always a good combination and that’s what you got here. Demolition was a pair of guys who beat the tar out of everyone they fought and that’s what they did here. It took a pair of Horsemen to get the belts off of them if that tells you anything about how awesome they were.

Robin Leech brings out the WWF Title belt.

Bob Uecker is guest ring announcer. Vanna White is guest timekeeper and she gives Bob a kiss.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Savage and Liz are now in white and Andre is with DiBiase. Macho blocks some punches in the corner but Andre trips him up like a jerk. Andre does it again and Savage is catching on that he’s got a problem. They trad some cranking on the arm and DiBiase’s sunset flip doesn’t work. A clothesline gets two for Randy and he sends DiBiase to the floor where Andre says go ahead and jump.

Realizing he’s in trouble, Savage sends Liz to the back the obvious reason (hint: the fans are chanting HOGAN). DiBiase hooks a chinlock and heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Hulk. The look on Hogan’s face and his jaws going all over the place make him look high as a kite. Ted pounds away in the corner and Andre pulls Savage to the outside. Hogan jumps the giant but Savage is in big trouble.

A gutwrench suplex gets two for Ted but he goes up top for reasons of general stupidity, earning that slam off the top by Savage. Randy tries a quick elbow but only hits the mat. DiBiase puts on the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan, ever the hero, comes in and whacks DiBiase in the bak with a chair. Savage runs to the top and the big elbow gives him his first world title.

Rating: B-. This was a decent match and the place went NUTS for the win, but they were both really tired and it slowed them down a lot. The Hogan cheating wasn’t really necessary and it made Savage look a bit weak, but at the end of the day it didn’t make that big of a difference. Still though, huge moment here.

Hogan insists on being in the ring for the celebration which really takes something away from it. The three celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The moment at the end is huge, but the time it took getting there isn’t worth it. The problem with this show is that it’s WAY too long and there aren’t that many good matches on it. Sixteen matches are WAY too many to have on a single show and the fans were really burned out by the end. This should have been an eight man tournament with some slightly longer matches. Also this show is almost four hours long and the talent pool just wasn’t deep enough to support that back then. Nostalgia is really all that helps this show for most modern fans, but that’s not a terrible thing.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: C

Redo: D+

Ted DiBiase vs. Jim Duggan

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: C

Redo: C+

Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Original: D

Redo: C-

One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Original: D

Redo: D-

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: C

Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Original: C+

Redo: C

Randy Savage vs. Greg Valentine

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

Original: D+

Redo: C

Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

Original: D

Redo: D

Demolition vs. Strike Force

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same more or less.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/11/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-4-one-big-tournament-and-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s time for the final pit stop on the Road to Wrestlemania because “Monday Night Raw” has to have its own pay per view because “Smackdown Live” did as well. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have little interest in seeing this show and I’m worried about how the main event is going to go. There’s some interesting stuff on the card though so hopefully that outweighs the bad. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Akira Tozawa/Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar

It’s a double feud match and there’s nothing wrong with that. The “205 Live” crew has taken a hit in recent weeks as there just isn’t much going on aside from whatever Neville is doing that week. However, there’s some hope in the Tozawa vs. Kendrick feud and Swann is still one of the most entertaining people on the roster so maybe he and Dar/Alicia Fox can do something entertaining soon enough.

As for the winners, I’ll take Swann pinning Dar but this isn’t a case where the winners really matter that much. This match is about getting the crowd ready for the show and the cruiserweights are some of the best possible options to do just that. It probably won’t be a classic or anything but it really doesn’t need to be, which is perfectly fine.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Jack Gallagher

We’ll stick with the cruiserweight them as Neville defends against his fellow countryman. Neville has turned into one of the best performers on the roster with this new King of the Cruiserweights character as he’s just channeling the hatred and anger so well. Gallagher is a scrappy guy who has looked very solid in the ring at times, though he’s much more over for his character and abilities with an umbrella.

That being said, I don’t buy Gallagher as having a chance in this one. Neville is just on a different level than anyone else in the division and Gallagher is only a step above a comedy character. In theory we’ll be seeing Austin Aries making his cruiserweight division debut and facing Neville for the title at “Wrestlemania XXXIII”, making this match little more than just a warmup for Neville.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

This one depends on what you think they’re going to be doing later on in the show with Bayley vs. Charlotte. On paper, this seems to be a way to set up Banks’ heel turn on Bayley later in the night, which would suggest that Jax beats her and Banks gets upset that Bayley wasn’t there in her corner. This would certainly follow the theory that if you’re about to turn heel, you must lose every match beforehand.

Yeah Banks loses here and WWE continues to sit around wondering why the pops get weaker every time. In theory this helps to set up the four way at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” for the title but that means we have three heels and Bayley for the title. Banks seems primed for a heel turn and since WWE is rather odd at times (read as almost all the time), she’s likely to lose in a huge way on pay per view.

Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Gallows and Anderson

Is anyone else starting to get a little tired of Amore’s schtick? He’s described himself as a heel character and it’s starting to show more and more. Unfortunately along with that goes a lot of the spark the team has to offer, which means there’s less and less value in them winning the belts. It seems that we’re getting ready for a Big Cass singles push and that might be better for everyone.

Considering that, PLEASE LET ANDERSON AND GALLOWS LOSE THE BELTS. They’re one of the least interesting teams I’ve seen in a long time as they’re really just there every week and offer almost nothing. The entire division is a mess right now and that makes for some very agonizing segments. As annoyed as I’m getting of Amore and Big Cass, they would be WAY better as champions than more of the Anderson and Gallows mess.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

Now this has potential. If you have a need for a new monster (or any monster for that matter) to destroy someone and make it look good, you call on Zayn. These two have been feuding for a bit over the last few weeks and there’s a good chance that this match is going to steal the show. There isn’t much doubt on the ending but there’s some serious potential.

In case it’s not clear, Samoa Joe is going to wreck Zayn here and that’s exactly what should happen. Zayn is the kind of guy who can put up a great fight and come this close before falling victim to one heck of a Rock Bottom and maybe the Koquina Clutch. It’s what Zayn does and he does it as well as almost anyone ever has. Samoa Joe should be coming up on a major match at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” but he has to smash Zayn first.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

As mentioned earlier, this one is going to be dependent on the Banks match, which I think goes to Jax to set up Banks costing Bayley the title here. If that’s not the case, I still don’t think Charlotte gets the belt back here but I do think she wins. The big sales pitch is that Charlotte has never lost a title match on pay per view and there’s a chance that they could avoid taking the title off of Bayley just yet while keeping the streak alive.

Or, since this is WWE, we’ll go with the reality that is Charlotte becoming six time Women’s Champion because WWE wants to recreate Ric Flair’s record in female form. I have no idea why I should care about Charlotte winning the title again but it seems that we’re heading in that direction. Then, once we’ve gotten the worthless first title reign out of the way, Bayley can start the REAL title reign because that’s how WWE logic goes. Charlotte wins though, no matter how little sense it makes.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

This is a weird one as there isn’t really a good option for the ending. First of all, there’s absolutely no logical reason to have Strowman lose to Reigns via pin. He’s been treated as an unstoppable monster and there’s no reason for Reigns (or anyone) to beat him this soon. Unfortunately, that’s where WWE manages to screw up more often than not. Reigns winning would be the WWE answer and that’s the last thing that needs to happen.

Or there’s option C: Undertaker interferes and costs Reigns the match in retaliation for Reigns eliminating him from the Royal Rumble. That would set up one heck of a showdown at “Wrestlemania XXXIII” and Strowman goes on to do…..well probably to win the battle royal because that’s the best they can think of him for now. I can live with that as long as Strowman doesn’t get pinned by Reigns, who really doesn’t need to get this win.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg

This match terrifies me. Owens has recently rediscovered what made him great in the first place but there’s a buzzsaw called Goldberg waiting on him. I know there’s the option of Chris Jericho interfering to cost Owens the title and while that would make things MUCH better than Goldberg just hitting his finishers to win, Goldberg and Goldberg vs. Lesnar DOES NOT NEED to be for the title. The idea of Jericho taking the title from Owens in Orlando is great but Lesnar vs. Goldberg being for the title? Not so much.

Of course Goldberg wins the title here though because WWE has decided that Goldberg vs. Lesnar MUST be for the title for reasons I don’t even want to comprehend. Like I said, if Jericho interferes and costs Owens the match it’s much better, but words cannot describe how mad I’ll be if it’s “Survivor Series 2016” all over again with a match that lasts less than five minutes because Goldberg can’t do anything longer than that again.

Overall, “Fastlane 2017” just doesn’t need to exist. Other than the main event, you could easily see a lot of this show taking place on a few episodes of “Monday Night Raw” and that’s not good for a pay per view. The show has some potentially excellent matches but there are some that are likely to feel like they’re going to drag like a Stephanie McMahon promo marathon. Just please don’t squash Owens. It doesn’t help anyone but Goldberg and I could easily see WWE doing just that.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Main Event
Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, R-Truth

It’s a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it’s time to watch some of the talent who has little chance of making it to the main shows more often than not. Raw has been up and down lately and I’m not sure why some of the bigger names from around here (work with me) hasn’t been bumped up to jobbers to the stars status on the big show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sin Cara vs. Bo Dallas

They trade some quick takedowns to start until Cara scores with his springboard elbow to the jaw. It’s WAY too early for the Swanton though and Cara has to settle for a running flip dive off the apron. Dallas sends him into the apron for a near countout, followed by his elevated swinging neckbreaker for two. He charges into raised boots in the corner though and the Swanton gives Cara the pin at 3:59.

Rating: D+. So much for Dallas being ready to move up to the main roster. I really don’t get how they decide the winners on this show as it really does feel like there’s no particular rhyme or reason to almost anything they do. Dallas is one of the regular big winners on this show and now he’s losing clean to Sin Cara in just a few minutes. TNA’s bad days had more consistent booking than this show.

To Raw!

Here’s Goldberg to get things going. He thanks the fans for their chants but gets straight to the point: he’s winning the title at Fastlane with his son cheering him on. This brings out Kevin Owens to say what he really thinks about Goldberg. When he got to this company, Owens promised to grab this company by the throat and show WWE what he was really about.

Then he beat John Cena in his first match, followed by beating Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Seth Rollins and the Big Dog himself, Roman Reigns. Now why should Goldberg be any different? Goldberg likes the speech and wants to fight right now but Owens doesn’t think Green Bay deserves to see him fight. They’ll fight on Sunday and the Goldberg chants die.

Back to Raw, which we never left!

We get a long video on the long history of HHH making Seth Rollins. They’ve been together for years but then Rollins hurt his knee which HHH referred to as dropping the ball. Rollins is injured but the question is can he get back in time.

Here’s Rollins, on crutches, for a sitdown interview with Corey Graves. He doesn’t know where he is mentally now but it seems that he’s in Chicago because we get a freaking CM PUNK chant. Thankfully it’s loudly booed and Seth can get back to the point. He’s not sure if he can continue at this point and as of right now, the doctors haven’t cleared him for Wrestlemania.

This brings out HHH and Samoa Joe with the former talking about how Rollins has no idea what he’s doing here. HHH knows Rollins isn’t going to Wrestlemania because that’s how he is. It was HHH who handed him the title and then Rollins bit the hand that feeds him. Rollins didn’t mind reaping the benefits along the way but now he’s treating HHH like this.

Seth needs to make the right decision and not come to Wrestlemania because HHH is done playing with him. If Rollins shows up there, it’s the last thing he’ll ever do in a WWE ring. HHH goes to leave but Seth cuts him off and says he’ll be in Orlando and it’s going to be the last thing HHH ever does.

Ariya Daivari vs. Gran Metalik

Daivari takes him down by the arm and we’re off to a break thirty seconds in. Back with Ariya missing a splash in the corner and getting caught with a middle rope hurricanrana. They trade some hard strikes to the face before Daivari grabs a Rainmaker of all things for two. Why is it for two? BECAUSE THE RAINMAKER IS JUST A CLOTHESLINE! Not that it matters as the Metalik Driver is good for the pin at 6:38. Not enough to rate but this was nothing too special anyway. I do like Metalik though.

And now, the grand finale.

It’s time for the contract signing with Mick Foley running the show. Strowman doesn’t think much of him and says he would have respected him back in the day when Foley was competition. Foley finally snaps and yells at Strowman, basically threatening to get physical because he’s still a legend, even if he won’t be the General Manager that much longer.

Cue Reigns to start the fight, which quickly heads into the crowd. Strowman beats on him even more until Reigns spears him through the barricade and a security guard in the process. Back in and Reigns stops to sign the contract but gets sent into the corner so hard that the top rope breaks. Strowman leaves and Reigns signs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If you ignore the Main Event exclusive stuff, this was a good go home show for Fastlane. Unfortunately that’s only kind of what this show is supposed to be, though I’m assuming the short second break was there for the sake of the long HHH vs. Rollins segment. This really does serve as a good recap of Raw but if you’ve already watched that show, there’s no need to ever watch Main Event.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2002
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I don’t know what lit the fire underneath Smackdown as of late but they’ve been on fire. Last week was one of the best episodes of TV I’ve ever seen and while there’s a good chance things will go downhill tonight, at least things are on a roll coming in. We’ve got about three weeks before No Mercy and it should be time to announce a Smackdown match or two. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie McMahon does the seizure inducing intro to talk about tonight’s card, including Edge vs. Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker in a falls count anywhere match and the start of a tournament for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles with the finals at No Mercy. This is your first (of many) ways to put Stephanie on screen and remind us that she’s just so darn cool.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rikishi/Mark Henry vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

The cousins try to get in a sneak attack to start but the big guys throw Chavo onto Eddie. That goes nowhere though as it’s basically a high crossbody, meaning Eddie pops back up and hammers on Rikishi. Cole: “You’ve got to take your hat off to Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon!”

Eddie comes in and walks into a Samoan drop, followed by a superkick to Chavo. It’s time to start in on Mark’s knee with both Guerreros taking a few shots, only to have Mark keep kicking them away. Rikishi comes in and is immediately forced out by the referee, allowing Chavo to hit Henry in the knee with a chair. Eddie slaps on a leglock for the tap out.

Rating: C-. You can see the greatness in Eddie and Chavo as a team and the monsters were a fine choice for some monsters they needed to cheat. This was a good way to get around one of the nothing teams and advance the talented guys, which is exactly how this should have gone. When you get the right opponents, there’s going to be a classic for the Guerreros somewhere in this tournament.

Torrie Wilson arrives….with her dad Al. Oh geez it’s this mess. They run into Billy and Chuck when Dawn Marie comes in and hits on Al.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are watching a clip of Lesnar attacking Undertaker when Heyman says Stephanie has made a rematch at No Mercy. The thing is she won’t tell him the stipulation and Heyman is worried. Lesnar laughs it off when Matt Hardy comes in to say it won’t be falls count anywhere.

Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker

Falls count anywhere. Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start and takes it outside to throw Matt into various things. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam through the table but Undertaker shoves him into the barricade for a breather. More right hands send Matt through the crowd and Undertaker gets a soda thrown in his face. They head to the back with Matt getting in a cheap shot so Undertaker rams him into a wall. Matt runs off while shouting that they’ll meet again and here’s Lesnar to jump Undertaker. An F5 sends Undertaker onto what looks like popcorn (seriously) to give Matt the easy pin.

Rating: F. Unless I’m missing something, Undertaker took a total of some right hands, a low blow, forearms from Lesnar and an F5 onto a glorified stack of pillows. That’s enough for him to do a job for Matt Hardy but the fight he and Lesnar had wasn’t enough to do a job to Brock on pay per view? Horrible stuff here as Hardy got squashed until the stupid ending.

Post match Lesnar crushes Undertaker’s hand with a propane tank.

Survivor Series ad.

Undertaker’s hand is being iced and he walks away from an interview attempt. The trainer thinks the hand is broken.

Cruiserweight Title: Crash vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie is defending and they start with a fight over a wristlock. The announcers are of course more interested in talking about Undertaker’s hand injury, which isn’t all that surprising given how worthless the title has become in the last few months. Noble takes him into the corner before cranking on a camel clutch. Crash fights up with some basic stuff, including an O’Connor roll to knock Nidia off the apron. The Crash Landing (Styles Clash) is countered into a rollup and Noble grabs the rope to retain.

Rating: C-. Crash made this better with a nice comeback but unfortunately the fans really didn’t care. Like I said though, the division is just nothing at this point and there’s no reason to care about Jamie Noble vs. Crash in a four minute match serving as a backdrop for all the Undertaker vs. Lesnar talk. That switch from Raw really did wonders for Crash’s career though.

Kurt Angle brags about how awesome he is and thinks Chris Benoit will lose to Rey Mysterio tonight. Angle says he’s awesome when Edge comes in and makes bald jokes but at least ties it back to their hair vs. hair match. A sucker punch puts Edge down.

Edge vs. Kurt Angle

We get a replay of the sucker punch from five minutes ago during Kurt’s entrance. Angle takes him down by the arm to start and kicks Edge off the leg without much effort. Back up and Edge goes after an arm as well, this time with a hammerlock, both standing and laying down. See that’s versatility. Angle finally gets tired of the beating and hammers away in the corner, only to have Edge reverse into the same.

They head outside with Angle’s arm going into the post as Edge is in a lot more control than you would expect. Back in and Edge is thrown over the top for a big crash to the floor. A drop onto the barricade makes things even worse and an overhead belly to belly gives Kurt two. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit before Angle knees him in the banged up ribs.

Since Angle is smarter than the average wrestler, he grabs an abdominal stretch to keep Edge in trouble. Edge fights up and hits an overhead belly to belly (good one too) to set up some clotheslines. The half nelson faceplant gets two but the spear hits the referee. The Edgecution should get the finish but there’s no count. Therefore, the Angle Slam connects as well, only to have another referee come in for the two.

The ankle lock sends Edge bailing to the ropes and he goes up top, only to have Angle superplex him down. They interlock their legs into a small package though and it’s a double pin. Naturally the referees disagree (with Mike Chioda nailing Mike Sparks) to send us to a break and a restart. Cole: “Don’t adjust your sets! This match has been restarted!” Does Cole think that adjusting the sharpness is going to rewind a video or something? Angle misses a charge and flies out to the floor, leaving Edge to dive off the top for a big crash.

Back in and a missile dropkick gets two on Kurt as the crowd is losing their minds on these near falls. A very hard German suplex drops Edge and Angle rolls some more for good measure. Cue Chris Benoit for a distraction, allowing Edge to cradle Angle for two. That would have been the finish in today’s WWE. The ankle lock is easily broken up and Angle grabs a chair. Benoit offers a distraction though, causing the chair shot to hit the top rope and bounce back into Kurt’s head. The spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: A-. This was one less referee fight and false finish away from being a classic. As it is, this was just another great match to be added to the recent string of them on this show. Edge is getting hotter and hotter every single week and thankfully seems to be getting somewhere as a result. I love it when you see someone work hard and get rewarded for it, which is far rarer than it should be.

Benoit thinks it’s hilarious.

Rey Mysterio video.

Post break Angle goes into the locker room to go after Benoit but Stephanie is RIGHT THERE to break it up and put them together as partners in the tournament. If they fight while they’re partners, they’re suspended without pay for a year. Angle sucker punches Benoit (that’s two tonight) but Stephanie SCREECHES at them to shake hands right now. Lesnar gives Heyman another pep talk when Matt Hardy interrupts. Since Undertaker is injured and Matt just beat him, he should probably be #1 contender. Makes sense actually. Matt leaves and Heyman whispers to Lesnar: “I’d be careful. He could kill you.” Laughter ensues.

Raw Roulette is coming. That has way less potential than they’re building it up to have here, though to be fair that’s kind of the point.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy and Chuck vs. Faarooq/Reverend D-Von

Billy asks Faarooq if he’s actually associating with D-Von and gets mic’d in the head for his efforts. Chuck gets jumped from behind but manages a butterfly suplex on D-Von. Faarooq beats him down again though until Chuck gets in a shot and makes the hot tag to Gunn. Everything breaks down and Faarooq gets in a spinebuster on Billy to give D-Von the upset pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and that’s not really surprising. I’m not sure why you have Billy and Chuck lose here as I can’t imagine anyone is thinking much of D-Von and Faarooq. You’re trying to establish some new titles and it might help to have a multiple time Tag Team Championship combination in the later rounds.

Dawn shows Al her bikini.

It’s time for the bikini contest and let’s see how fast we can get this over with: Dawn looks great but Torrie looks better and has a sucker so she wins. Dawn offers a handshake and throws Torrie outside.

Stephanie gets to tell Heyman and Lesnar that Undertaker’s hand is broken. Undertaker is insisting to fight at No Mercy though and it’s going to be Hell in a Cell. That’s quite a speedy trip to the hospital (when you remember Undertaker refused treatment), x-ray, diagnosis, phone call to Stephanie and decision since Undertaker got hurt all of an hour and fifteen minutes ago. Heyman looks nervous but Brock looks eerily pleased.

Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio

Benoit wastes no time and sends Mysterio into the corner, followed by what looks to be a Razor’s Edge attempt, only to have Rey reverse into a hurricanrana. Chris is sent outside for a big flip dive but comes right back with those hard suplexes that only he can throw. A cross arm choke keeps Rey down until a sunset flip gives him two. Back up and Benoit sends him into the corner over and over before grabbing a surfboard hold.

Rey fights up and slips out of a dragon suplex, only to get caught in a wicked wheelbarrow suplex instead. A dropkick gives Rey a breather and a springboard split legged moonsault gives him a near fall. The 619 is countered into a shoulder breaker though and the Swan Dive gives Benoit two more. Rey is quickly out of the Crossface and a springboard Fameasser sets up the 619. Cue Angle to snap Benoit’s throat across the top so Rey can grab a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: B. Were you really expecting this to be anything but solid? Smackdown has figured out the secret to an exciting in-ring product: stop trying to do anything too complicated and just let us have a fun match with some minor angle advancement. You can see these two plus Angle and someone else (probably Edge) in the tournament and that’s going to be awesome. Talented wrestlers can do something like this when given the chance and that’s what we got here.

Benoit Crossfaces Angle until security breaks it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. What does it say when this is one heck of a downgrade over the previous week? Those two matches more than made up for the horrible Undertaker stuff and the fact that it’s setting up a Cell match does make things a little easier to sit through. I’m having a blast watching these shows every week and it’s amazing that Raw is such a polar opposite from this. How can one company be so totally different? Either way, great stuff here, again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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205 Live
Date: February 28, 2017
Location: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul Minnesota
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Corey Graves, Austin Aries

We’re five days away from Fastlane and Neville defending the Cruiserweight Title against Jack Gallagher. There’s really not much else going on though and that’s not a good thing. This show needs some more stories to really get going but at least we have a great champion on top. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Jack Gallagher vs. Neville. This feud needs to end in a hurry as it feels like little more than filler, which to be fair, it is.

Gallagher is ready for Neville’s Fastlane address and thinks he’ll be brooding about the title reign and say that his reign will never end. We’ll see about that on Sunday.

Opening sequence.

Noam Dar vs. Lince Dorado

Before we get going, someone brings Alicia Fox a bouquet of flowers, much to Dar’s annoyance. Dar tries to take him to the mat but Dorado speeds things up and hits a Lionsault press for two. As Dar takes him to the mat and works on the arm, Alicia is actually eating the flowers. We hit a chinlock as Rich Swann is watching in the back. Now the fans want flowers as Dorado gets in a hurricanrana and a belly to belly suplex. Dorado springboards into a Stunner for two but misses a dive off the top. One heck of a kick to the head gives Dar the pin at 4:01.

Rating: C-. This was fine as a way to push a midcard angle (good idea) and the flowers thing could likely set up Dar’s next feud. I’m not sure how interesting that’s going to be as there’s a good chance Fox is going to leave him anyway. Of course Fox eats flowers so it might not be the most easy to predict person in the world.

Post match Dar says he sent the flowers but I sense a ruse.

Austin Aries is in the ring to interview Akira Tozawa. Regarding turning down Brian Kendrick’s offer of being a mentor, Tozawa wants to be his own man. We get a look back at Kendrick’s “lessons” and Tozawa wants to fight right now. This is followed by a series of weird noises, which Graves calls a war cry.

Cue Kendrick (with some buggy eyes) to say he has a plan and no desire to fight. What makes Tozawa think that Kendrick is already willing to get in the ring with him? Who does Tozawa think he is? Tozawa starts to talk but Kendrick tells him to learn English first, like these Minnesotans need to do. This feud started off as nothing with someone I really don’t care about but I’m actually getting into it. Well done.

Tony Nese/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Mustafa Ali/TJ Perkins/Cedric Alexander

Nese slams Mustafa to start but it’s off to Cedric for a bit better luck. The good guys start working on the arm with TJ bending it back like a slot machine (thanks for the analogy Mauro). Nese gets pulled down into a cross armbreaker and it’s a stream of people being sent outside so the good guys can load up their dives. TJ gets pulled outside for a beating and we settle down to Daivari (from nearby Minneapolis) grabbing a neckbreaker. It’s off to Gulak for a Gory Stretch before Daivari adds one heck of a clothesline.

TJ finally gets out and makes the hot tag to Ali but Gulak grabs him in a torture rack for a slam. Everything breaks down and everyone but Ali and Gulak wind up on the floor. Mustafa hits the inverted 450 for two as Ariya puts the boot on the ropes. Nese comes back in for the German suplex into the corner but can’t follow up. The Detonation Kick rocks Daivari, only to have Gulak crotch Perkins on the top. Nese adds the running knee in the corner for the pin on Perkins at 10:16.

Rating: C+. So Nese is on the good list again? We can push him again now? This was fun but a bit too sloppy for my taste. These guys don’t really have anything going on right now and are now more like flashbacks to the original cruiserweight division on Raw, which really isn’t a good thing. They could go for some more mic time to give us a reason to care about them too.

Austin Aries video.

Here’s Neville for an extended chat. Neville takes credit for all the good things on 205 Live but the fans are completely ungrateful. The fans would rather cheer for a sideshow act like Gallagher. They’re the reason for his upcoming destruction on Sunday and there’s nothing that can stop that.

Cue Gallagher to say this sounds like a meltdown. He offers Neville some tea and biscuits so you know what the fans are going to be chanting now. Neville says this is his ring but Gallagher thinks it belongs to the people. That means it’s time for Neville to leave so the fight is on. The headbutt and some dropkicks both in and out of the ring send Neville into the crowd to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C+. I really like Gallagher but he’s just not on this level yet. It’s pretty clear that Aries is getting the Wrestlemania title shot (or at least he certainly should) and that makes for some rather dull shows leading up to the announcement. Neville is a great champion and a win over Aries would look great but it’s not easy to watch Gallagher, who is very talented, have no chance in the upcoming match. The rest of the show was fine but the only other interesting story is Kendrick vs. Tozawa. An extra story is a good step though and things could be getting better, albeit somewhat slowly.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Middle Kingdom Wrestling
Date: February 17, 2017
Location: Pattaya Boxing Stadium, Pattaya, Chon Buri, Thailand
Commentator: Al Leung

We’re going to wrap up this very abbreviated season and hopefully head back to China where things are a bit better. The first show was a pretty mixed bad with one horrible match and one that was quite entertaining so it’s hard to guess what’s coming this time around. Let’s get to it.

Same opening sequence as last time, which isn’t the worst thing in the world given some of the eye candy in there.

We hear more of Dalton Bragg’s conversation. It’s true that he can’t wrestle but he’s found a replacement named Hayden Pearce, who is something called the Kingdom Wrestling Federation (no idea what/where that is) Champion. Tonight, he’ll defend against the Slam, though the graphic lists Pearce as Hayden Zenith. That’s the kind of thing that needs to be tightened up as I’m not even two minutes into the show and it’s already an issue.

Black Mamba/Big Sam vs. Maxim Risky/Malkeet Brawler

Maxim and Brawler are from India and one of them charges to the ring early, earning a good looking powerbomb from Sam. A boot to the chest drops Brawler but it’s Risky and Mamba starting things off as we hear the second bell. The commentator says this is in China, which doesn’t quite work after the whole point of this show is being in Thailand.

A suplex gets two on Mamba and Sam comes in….for some jumping jacks of course. Well you can’t do those on the apron. Sam comes in again for a regular save before distracting the referee so Mamba can choke. That second one threw the idea off a bit and it would have been a lot better if he had said it was a cramp or he was stretching or something like that. If you do it before and after but not in the middle, it weakens what you did in the first place (which was good).

Back to Sam for a clothesline on Brawler and what looks like a Sid Vicious pose. A gorilla press drop keeps showing off the power (smart) and it’s off to a camel clutch. Brawler makes the ropes so it’s another slam into a one finger cover. Mamba comes in again and plays Bret on something like a top rope Hart Attack but the referee is putting Sam out of the ring instead of counting. What would Danny Davis think of something like that?

Brawler gets in a TKO (love that move) and it’s a double tag to Sam and Risky. Sam takes a DDT and Risky gets in some really, really bad looking right hands in the corner. Follow through with those things. Brawler hits a running Fameasser (called XYZ) on Mamba and a slam on Sam in a fairly impressive power display.

A double suplex is another power display and Risky gets two off a superkick. I’m not sure how wise is it to have your monster getting beaten up and thrown around like this. Mamba sneaks in a low blow (second of the match but the first one meant and changed nothing) and Sam grabs a chokeslam on Risky. Mamba adds a frog splash for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. There’s a LOT to talk about in this one. This is the best example I can think of to show how important psychology and match layout are to making something a success. Let’s look at Sam. He has the most unique look in this promotion (much bigger and Caucasian instead of the mostly Asian roster) and in this match he was acting like the opponents were beneath him (the one finger pin and various times where he acted like he didn’t even need to try). That’s playing to his character and very good. Sam is different and he should act like he is.

His move set made sense too. It was a lot of power stuff like the powerbomb, gorilla press and chokeslam. Back at Wrestlemania XIII, Shawn Michaels said there was no reason for Sid Vicious to deviate from his power game because the power was going to take him wherever he needed to go. That makes a lot of sense for someone like Sid/Sam as their offense is going to be more devastating due to their power so it should be the majority of what they do.

That brings us to the rest of the match, which had some issues. As I mentioned, Mamba hit two low blows. The first one just slowed his opponent down for a bit and then it was right back to where they were going before. Something like a low blow should be a match changer, not something on the same level as a clothesline or a few right hands. If you’re going to do those big spots, use them sparingly. Otherwise they’re just a regular move and people won’t care when they’re used in important spots. If you need proof, look at WWE’s main event style of spamming finishers.

There were good things in the match but there’s also a lot that needs to be tightened up. I didn’t really feel a flow to the match. One team was in control, then the other was in control, then the heels won. The ending felt like it came out of nowhere and the match just ended instead of building up to something. I’d also like to know a bit more about Risky and Brawler. All I know is they’re “stars in India”. How long have they been wrestling? Should I cheer for them? How long have they been teaming? Stuff like that can go a long way.

A big guy covered in tattoos whose name sounded like Humungous says he’s bringing underground wrestling to China.

Eurasian Dragon vs. Humungous

Dragon is the Singapore Champion and Humungous wants to make it a title shot. The request is accepted and we’re ready to go. This was another example of the disappearing and reappearing subtitles.

Singapore Title: Eurasian Dragon vs. Humungous

Dragon is defending and gets driven into the corner as we hear about Humungous wrestling around the world. A few forearms sends Humungous into the ropes like a cowardly heel and he flips Dragon off after teasing a handshake. Dragon misses a Flip Flop and Fly but grabs La Majistral for the pin to retain at 2:28.

Humungous hits him from behind and says he wants a rematch. I’m not sure if debuting someone and having them job immediately is a good idea but Humungous had a good look.

KWF Title: Hayden Zenith vs. The Slam

Slam is challenging and his CWE Title isn’t on the line. One side note here: all of the titles that I’ve seen around here look really good. There are a lot of ugly belts in wrestling but these are all very nice. Granted part of that might be due to the fact that the KWF Title is a WWF Attitude Era World Title replica. Eh if you’re going to use a replica, use one of the best looking of all time.

They start fast (a rarity around here) with Slam sweeping the leg but stopping to pose, allowing Zenith to pull him off the ropes and hammer away. Some loud chops set up a hard Saito suplex on Slam and we get a cocky cover. A hard kick to Slam’s back sends some sweat flying (always a good visual) and we hit an octopus hold. Zenith switches over to a few more submission attempts as this is already by far and away the most polished match of the two shows.

Slam fights up but eats a pair of superkicks (giving us a Superkick Party reference) and they head out to the ramp. Some rather hard forearms knock Hayden back in and Slam’s top rope forearm gets….no cover. Instead Zenith slips out of a Jackhammer and we get a ref bump. Cue Bragg to check on the referee as Slam hits a suplex into a cutter (not a Jackhammer as the announcer puts it). It’s a ruse though and Bragg hits Slam in the head with the crutch so Zenith can retain at 8:33.

Rating: C+. This was the first time I really felt like I got an angle this promotion has tried to run. It’s a very simple idea and I got the point without having to figure anything out. Zenith and Slam were some of the more polished guys and Bragg as the champion who is scared of Slam is a good enough story. Throw in Bragg having a #1 contender in Selfie King and you have the makings for something interesting. I haven’t felt that around here too often and it’s very nice change of pace.

Bragg beats on Slam with the crutch to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like the tag, there’s good and bad on here. Let’s get to the good first: this felt like a more complete show. There were three matches here and each one felt like it served a purpose. The tag match was good and made Sam look like a threat to someone down the line. Dragon vs. Humungous looks to be the start of a feud and Humungous has some charisma to him. Finally you have the main event which felt like a good angle. I’m pleased here and while the show had some quality issues, it had a good structure, which might be more important.

On the other hand, the promotion is still lacking in character development. Let’s take a look at the two shows combined. Other than having Sam in his corner, what separates Ash, Jason and Black Mamba? They have a similar look and wrestle a similar style. I barely know anything about them and they really lose me when I’m trying to remember which is which.

Finally, the offenses need to be varied up a bit. In the first three matches of these two shows, three people used a frog splash. There are a ton of moves to use from the top and just because a frog splash is cool, you can use something else. Drop an elbow, drop a knee, do a spinning splash. Just don’t do the same thing that so many people have done. It was annoying in the Cruiserweight Classic and it’s the same here.

I liked enough of the show and this episode showed some promise but they need to find a way to keep that momentum going. Maybe it was just a lucky night with an angle to help tie things together at the end but they need to build on that instead of having a bunch of one off shows before advancing the story. Have people cut a thirty second promo (throw in subtitles if necessary) and keep things moving. It’ll keep people coming back and that’s the key at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the biggest show in wrestling history with the biggest match in wrestling history as its main event. How’s that for a standard to live up to? In case you’re one of the six wrestling fans ever that hasn’t heard of this show, the main event is Hulk Hogan defending the WWF Title against Andre the Giant in a match four years in the making. In the undercard we have the greatest match of all time. This is the first show where they treated Wrestlemania as something huge and not just a big house show, making it the first “modern” Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The wide shot of the arena is still quite a sight. Oh and for once and for all: there were 93,000 people there. The argument about how it doesn’t hold that many doesn’t hold up as the total often listed is for football, which requires WAY more space than a wrestling show. It would be like covering half the field with more seats. On the other hand, let’s say WWE is lying about the number. A lie? In wrestling? Surely you jest. I don’t get why people are so obsessed with proving there were less people there than claimed.

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

A suplex gets two for Hercules as he picks Haynes up. Billy can’t suplex Hercules because of the back so the Greek guy hits a backbreaker to keep the momentum up. Hercules hooks the full nelson but can’t get the fingers locked, allowing Billy to escape. Jack fights out of it and they clothesline each other down. Haynes grabs a quick atomic drop to fire the crowd up but his back messes up again. A clothesline sets up a legdrop on Hercules and a middle rope fist to the head keeps Hercules in trouble. Jack gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls them both to the floor. Herc gets put in the hold again but a double countout ends this.

Rating: D+. The fact that the crowd is hot for everything tonight is all that made this passable, which can be a great tool to bring a match up a lot. At the end of the day, they’re WAY too similar and neither guy is exactly someone that can carry a match. It’s not terrible but it didn’t go anywhere at all. This would be the only feud of note that Haynes had and he would be jobbing soon.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

King Kong Bundy and his midgets say they’ll beat Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Macho Man won’t let Liz get interviewed.

We recap Race vs. JYD. Race is the King of Wrestling but Dog refuses to bow because he doesn’t think we have kings here in America. One night JYD put Race’s robe and crown on but Race decked him and tried to force JYD to bow. JYD is the Junkyard Dog in case you’re new at this.

Race, Heenan and Moolah (the Queen) says that there won’t be a new king tonight.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Hogan talks about riding to the show after hearing people telling him this was his last ride. Tonight it’s time for Andre to face the truth and all Hogan has to do is beat a 7’4 520lb giant. Andre has to beat Hogan and every Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is going to get Andre, not the dirty air or the politicians (HUH?) and Andre has to face the truth. I’ve seen the match he’s talking about probably 40 times and it still feels huge.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.

Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had left to make a movie and came back to find Piper’s Pit taken over by Adonis’ Flower Shop with Orton having sided with Adonis. Orton, Adonis, Muraco and Hart broke Piper’s leg but he came back with a ball bat and DESTROYED the Flower Shop. This is also billed as Piper’s farewell match.

Piper says he’s not going out to a man that wears a dress. No Retreat and No Surrender!

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Davis is a crooked referee that cost both the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Apparently this is Davis’ debut as a wrestler. Mary Hart (no relation) is on commentary along with Uecker here as well. Tito beats up Danny before the match before we get going with Bret and Santana. Jesse steals the Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda as he leaves. Off to Davey vs. Anvil and Smith pulls him by the beard. That’s a bit rough even for Neidhart.

Tito comes back in to work on the arm but gets sent to the heel corner for some high quality choking. That goes nowhere so here’s Smith vs. Neidhart again. Jim takes him down with a suplex but Bret misses a middle rope elbow. Dynamite comes in for the chest to buckle bump from Bret but Hart comes back with some punches. Tito tries to break up some interference but only allows even more cheating by Neidhart.

Jim hooks a modified camel clutch on Dynamite before it’s back to Bret. I don’t think we’ve seen Davis in yet but before I can finish that sentence he’s in for a few stomps. That’s the extent of his offense as it’s already back to Bret for some actual skill. The sun is starting to go down so the arena looks dark now. Back to Danny for one kick before it’s time for the Hitman again.

The Harts slingshot Davis right onto Dynamite’s knees and it’s off to Santana for the beating on Davis that the fans have been waiting for. Tito destroys Danny and hits the forearm but Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four. Off to Smith who rams Davis’ head into Dynamite’s. A jumping tombstone (not yet named) kills Davis even more but Smith doesn’t want the cover. There’s the delayed vertical followed by the powerslam but everything breaks down. Davis pops up and hits Smith with the megaphone for the pin in the melee.

Rating: C-. As fun as the beating Davis took was, the ending is really stupid as he popped up like nothing and was able to knock out a power guy with a single shot? The guy was a referee a few months ago but he’s able to do that with one shot? Bad ending aside, this was fun stuff and the fans were WAY into it.

Heenan and Andre say that Andre can’t be defeated and everyone knows it. Bobby’s white suit is rather awesome.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Slick is here with Reed. That comes into play later. Reed overpowers him to start which is appropriate in a power vs. speed match. Koko comes back with that dropkick of his to send Reed out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the Bird Man’s ribs give Butch control again but Koko hiptosses him down. Koko pounds away and hits another dropkick for two. A run of the ropes proves deadly though as Reed rolls through a cross body and a handful of tights pins Ware.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Koko was there as a warm body to lose to Butch. Reed was going to be the Intercontinental Champion after Steamboat got done with it but Honky talked his way into getting the belt instead. This match was there only to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to now.

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.

So far we’ve had eight matches and on average it’s probably a C- at best. I think the next one might help bring things up a bit.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. On an episode of Superstars, Savage smashed Steamboat’s throat into the barricade and crushed his larynx with the ring bell. One night on SNME, George Steele was facing Randy Savage and promised a surprise. Steele kidnapped Liz and when Savage got up, he saw Steamboat staring up at him and terror reigned.

Savage says that he’s retaining the title and is going to prove how amazing he is.

Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

The fans give an audible pop for Savage which even the announcers have to acknowledge. George Steele comes out to back up Steamboat and show off that green tongue. They shove each other around a few times before Randy takes an early breather. Savage misses a back elbow and Steamboat hits a pair of those perfect armdrags of his. Randy is lifted into the air via a choke and it’s back to the floor.

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

With the champion tied up, Steamboat fires away with a vengeance. Savage gets loose and Ricky hits a cross body for two, kicking off one of the fastest sets of near falls you’ll EVER see. Randy finally slows him down with a knee to the back and a toss over the ropes, only to have Ricky skin the cat. Savage throws him out again and knocks him into the crowd for good measure. The top rope ax handle keeps Steamboat down even longer and Savage is in full control.

Savage hits a clothesline for two which Gorilla doesn’t like. Gorilla: “That could be a disqualification.” Jesse: “For what?” Gorilla: “Intentional.” Jesse: “Well of course it was intentional!” Gorilla could find some weird stuff to complain about at times. After a pair of Savage suplexes for two, Ricky starts firing back and sends Savage out to the floor. A top rope chop gets two for the challenger and they speed things up all over again.

We get another chase on the floor followed by a sunset flip by the Dragon for two. They trade ANOTHER great pinfall reversal sequence as Jesse declares this one of the greatest matches he’s ever seen. A slingshot sends Savage face first into the post and there’s a sunset flip for two for the Dragon. Savage reverses an O’Connor Roll with a handful of tights for two. Randy uses the tights again and sends Dragon shoulder first into the post.

They reverse an Irish whip and the referee gets bumped. Randy hits another clothesline and drops the big elbow but there’s no referee. Savage goes to get the bell but Steele takes it away. That earns the Animal a kick in the head so he shoves Savage off the top. Steamboat is back up and famously counters a slam into a small package for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. This is the greatest match of all time so what do you expect me to give it. I’m amazed at how well this holds up nearly 26 years later as there is nothing wrong with it at all. The story goes that these two practiced this match at Savage’s house for three months beforehand and it shows. Not a thing is even close to screwed up and they’re so fast out there it’s unbelievable. How anyone can say this is anything but perfect astounds me to this day. If you haven’t seen this before, watch it now and take notes.

Alice Cooper (male rock/metal singer) is here to back up Jake Roberts against Honky and Jimmy Hart. This was set up because Honky hit Jake in the back with a guitar, which was allegedly the reason for Jake’s addiction to pain medication that has plagued him for years. Jake says Honky got his shot but didn’t make it count. His mustache alone makes him the favorite.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

This is one of the matches that is there to give us a breather between the masterpiece and the main event. Jake pounds away to start and hits a knee lift to send Honky out to the floor. Honky still can’t get his ring suit off so Jake rips it off for him. Jake follows him to the floor and slams Honky down before heading back inside. Back in and Jake charges into a knee to the face to shift momentum.

Honky drops a pair of knees to Jake’s back but misses a punch and walks into the short clothesline. The grease in Honky’s hair allows him to escape the DDT and we head outside again. Jake is sent into the post and the barricade so Honky can dance a bit. Back in and a middle rope punch puts Jake in even more trouble. There’s a knee drop to the Snake and a pair of elbows for no cover.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) is countered by Jake and there’s an atomic drop for the eternally funny selling by Honky. Jake punches him to the apron and Honky gets caught in between the ropes, meaning he bounces back up every time Jake punches him. The DDT is countered again and after a Jimmy interference, Honky grabs a rollup and the top rope for the upset pin.

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Gene Okerlund announces a new world indoor attendance record of 93,173. That’s awesome.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

Unlike the previous match that had a feud going with it, this is just a random heel and face pairing. Slick (the foreigners’ manager) still has his torn up suit on. Volkoff starts singing the Soviet national anthem but the pretty new Jim Duggan runs out to break it up. The Bees finally show up and it’s a big brawl to start. Duggan is marching around at ringside with the 2×4 complete with a little American flag taped to it.

We start with Blair and Sheik but it’s quickly off to Brunzell. The Bees work over Iron’s arm with tags faster than I can type them. They stay on the arm until Brunzell hits his gorgeous dropkick for two on Sheik. Everything breaks down for a bit and Brunzell gets caught in the corner. Nikolai keeps Brunzell in trouble as the fans chant USA. There’s the bearhug by the Russian but Jim smacks his ears to break the hold.

Off to Sheik for the gutwrench suplex for two and a regular version for two. Brunzell comes back with a quick high knee but the referee doesn’t see the tag. A double elbow puts Jim down again and Sheik poses a lot. Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring and sees Sheik with the camel clutch on Brunzell. Being the patriot that he is, Duggan blasts Sheik in the back with the board for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible little match here until the stupid ending. This was again about furthering another feud in the form of Duggan against the evil foreigners. Why the Bees would be ok with Duggan doing that is beyond me but I guess since they’re all good guys they have to get along in WWF logic.

Andre says the next time you see him, he’ll be world heavyweight champion. Heenan says he’ll be the manager of the world champion and go down in history.

We recap Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan. Andre was there three years ago when Hogan won the title and they teamed together a few times with Hogan making the save when Andre was double teamed. There’s a LONG story (not mentioned in the show because it isn’t important) about Andre getting suspended and wrestling in a mask until Bobby Heenan, the guy behind the suspension, got it lifted.

Andre appeared with Hogan in Piper’s Pit where both received trophies; Andre’s for being undefeated for fifteen years and Hogan’s for being world champion for three years. However, Andre’s trophy was noticeably smaller, prompting him to say “three years to be a champion, that’s a long time.” A few weeks later, Andre walked into the Pit with Heenan at his side and challenges Hogan for Wrestlemania. Hogan is STUNNED and has the crucifix ripped off his chest. Hogan finally agrees to fight Andre at Wrestlemania and the arena exploded. Make no mistake about it: THIS is why Wrestlemania III is the biggest show ever.

Hogan talks about how he’s going to knock the giant down and shake the world.

Bob Uecker is brought in as the guest ring announcer. Jesse says hi to Terry, Tyrell and Jade back in Minneapolis. He did this on nearly every show but never said who those people were. It was nothing secretive: it’s his wife and kids. Mary Hart is guest timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan walks to the ring and the ovation is unreal. To put it simply, this is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. We get the historic staredown and we’re really supposed to believe that Hogan is nine inches shorter than Andre? It’s like three at most. Hogan punches away to start but goes for a slam a minute into this and falls down, giving Andre a very close two. That right there would fuel the rematch requests for the next year. Hulk’s back is hurt and Andre starts taunting him. A big forearm hits Hogan in the back and Andre slams him twice. Andre pounds away very slowly and hits a few headbutts.

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

We head back in for the legendary ending sequence. Hogan ducks a big boot and clotheslines down. It’s Hulk Up time and in the most famous scene in wrestling history, Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant to blow the roof off the place. The big legdrop makes Hogan immortal and the title is retained.

Rating: B. Ok here’s the thing: if you think this is about the wrestling itself, you have completely missed the point here. This was about making Hogan look like the biggest star ever and to say it did that is an understatement. On top of that, the match isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but the match is nowhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. This was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Overall Rating: A+. There’s really no other grade to give this. It’s the biggest show of all time, the greatest match of all time is on here, and the main event has two of the most famous images of all time. This show is the pinnacle of wrestling in America and it’s never been as big as this again. There’s nothing truly bad on this show as even the weaker matches are at least really short. This show was never about the wrestling though. It’s all spectacle here and it’s an absolute must see show for any fan and it still goes by very smoothly. If you somehow haven’t seen this, definitely check it out.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re in a weird spot here as this is the final taping before the promotion is completely overhauled into Jeff Jarrett’s new vision. It’s also the final show for a lot of talent, including the Hardys who have publicly stated they’ve left the company. Other than that we have Lashley defending the World Title against Josh Barnett. Let’s get to it.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Rosemary

No intro and Madison Rayne is on commentary. Jade is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. They start brawling in the aisle with Jade grabbing some German suplexes inside. Madison: “I think Jade knows it’s going to take more than some German suplexes to keep Rosemary down.” That’s the kind of commentary that people mock Madison for but I’m sure Josh will say she’s the best female commentator ever.

The weapons are brought in and Rosemary chokes Jade over the ropes. A short range Coast to Coast drives a garbage can into Jade’s face for a seven but Jade swings away with a kendo stick. Madison keeps prattling on until Pope cuts her off as Jade powerbombs Rosemary onto the can.

Jade comes off the top and dives into the mist and a Red Wedding (F5) for another near fall. Back up and Jade is knocked to the floor and another Red Wedding outside gets nine. Rosemary gets posted and Jade washes her eyes out before powerbombing the champion onto the steps. That’s still not enough to finish things off so Rosemary mists her again. A third Red Wedding on the stage retains the title at 11:09.

Rating: C. Jade hit a big move, Rosemary hit a big move, Jade hit another big move, Rosemary used the mist, Madison got really annoying every time she talked. This was entertaining while it lasted but it was also a very formula based match and a result we’ve seen so many times already. Rosemary really needs a new opponent and if it’s not Allie, I have no idea what they’re going for.

Moose wants Cody.

Matt Hardy has brought the family to his zoo for a day of togetherness. On top of that though, Matt wants to see how Jeff can handle his new found powers.

Moose calls Cody out for a fight and he doesn’t care what club he’s a part of. Cody comes in from behind as Josh rips on Moose for getting involved in Rhodes Family business. Moose fights back and powerbombs some production guys before getting into it with Cody again on the ramp. Wrestlers try to break it up and here’s Brandi to yell at Cody to stop. Cody agrees but beats up Josh Matthews instead. Well I’m a fan.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Josh is back on commentary and talking about his dedication to the job to be back. Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross would be out of action for months you see. Oh….joy. Storm jumps Jesse to start and grabs a belly to belly. It’s off to the Adonis Lock but here’s Kingston for a distraction so James can take out the knee. Josh: “I could have used someone like Kingston earlier when Cody was out here!”

We hit a quickly broken leglock as Josh is now insulting Jeremy Borash. Jesse fights up with a clothesline and gets two off a Blockbuster. Now we get to hear about Josh’s in-ring career (He was undefeated. Like a certain other heel commentator at Wrestlemania perhaps?) as Kingston gets inside. Jesse suplexes him and grabs another Adonis Lock to make Storm tap behind the referee’s back. Cue Bram to chair Jesse, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. So you have two problems here and I’ll let you pick which is worse. First up, we have Matthews running his mouth non-stop and becoming the heel character who will be on the show for two hours straight every single week. Second, we have the DCC needing three weeks and cheating to beat Jesse Godderz, which is supposed to be a big deal. I really, really hope they make a change to commentary because Pope as the lead face and Josh as a heel isn’t going to work.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett

Lee is defending. Everett doesn’t waste time and gets in an early Pele to send Lee outside for a big flip dive. Another big flip dive takes Lee down again and a top rope Asai Moonsault has Lee reeling. Back in and Lee does his running C4 and hammers away but the announcers are arguing about something changing next week.

Lee stomps away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline as Josh tells Pope to cut out the comedy. A springboard missile dropkick puts Lee down but Everett can’t follow up. The hurricanrana driver plants Lee but Gregory Helms grabs the referee at two. Everett chases Gregory off and tries the shooting star which hits raised knees. Lee grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin to retain at 7:11.

Rating: C-. Everett was a good looking flipper and that’s about it. The Helms thing feels like an X-Division version of Ric Flair and HHH which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. At least we had some entertaining stuff here but the division is in need of (another) overhaul and I don’t know if I believe TNA is going to do it.

Matt tells Jeff to feed a donkey named Vincent Van Gogh. Vincent tells him to get a shark and keep it in a salt water pool. Jeff has a pre-mo-nition that says they’ll be outnumbered in an upcoming fight. Everyone grabs Vanguard I and it’s time for the next trip on the Expedition of Gold.

Back from a break and the Hardys arrive at an undisclosed arena.

After a look at Lashley and Barnett warming up, the Hardys are backstage and demanding a shot at the National Tag Team Titles of the World. Senor Benjamin asks the #1 contenders (apparently named the Appalachian Outlaws, who won a sixty four team tournament) for their autographs and then electrocutes them. The Hardys offer to replace them and agree to work without being paid.

The match is made and turns into a hardcore brawl in the back with Matt being left alone. Jeff is stuck in the back getting beaten down by the Outlaws but Jeff and Benjamin bust out the fireworks. The Outlaws bail and Jeff comes back to the ring for the win and the titles, setting up a big celebration.

Drew Galloway comes up to Moose in the back and offers him a shot tonight.

Long recap of last week’s wedding.

Laurel is in the back, crying and screaming, still wearing the wedding dress and holding the champagne.

Global Title: Moose vs. Drew Galloway

Galloway is defending and kicks Moose in the face to start before it quickly goes outside. Drew gets the better of it and sends Moose into the steps, setting up the Celtic Cross onto said steps for a near countout. The bell saves Moose but he still loses the first round. The second round begins after a break with Moose kicking Drew in the face and running him over as a bonus. A moonsault gets two on the champ so he bails up the ramp, only to get caught like you would expect.

Something like an AA (not a Death Valley Driver) onto the apron drops Moose again but he powerbombs Drew onto the apron as well. Again it’s nearly a countout but this time Moose wins to tie the score. To continue the theme, they kick each other in the face to start the round. Moose is back up with the Game Changer for two but Galloway hits a Claymore and a Tombstone for the same. They slug it out with Moose getting the better of it and no selling another Claymore. A second Game Changer takes us to the end of the match at 15:13. Moose wins on a split decision and Josh starts complaining.

Rating: B-. This is mainly due to Galloway leaving and needing to get the title off of him in time. Now in theory that should have been done with the Hardys as well but you can’t expect TNA to get something right twice in a night. Anyway, they beat the heck out of each other here and Moose winning is the right idea, especially with a good performance like that. I’m not wild on Drew leaving but you have to get the title off of him here and that’s exactly what they did.

Drew throws a chair.

We get the same Barnett video from last week.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Josh Barnett

Lashley is defending and gets kicked in the head for his efforts. More kicks have Josh in control but Lashley takes him to the mat as we go to a break. Back with Lashley taking a jumping knee to the chest but grabbing an armbar to slow things down. The spear is countered into a cross armbreaker attempt but Lashley is in the ropes. Barnett’s keylock is countered and a spear gives Lashley the pin at 9:21.

Rating: D+. That’s an edited ending as there was originally a screwy finish with Barnett getting the pin but having it reversed a few moments later. As it is, this was little more than Lashley’s latest uninteresting test as Barnett doesn’t have much standing in TNA and his debut promo was weak at best. Just a match really and not a very interesting one, as is often the case with MMA style wrestling matches.

A preview of next week’s show with a list of names appearing (nothing out of the ordinary) takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s it for this version of TNA. The big development here seems to be Josh Matthews doing his best Michael Cole impression. That character got old fast and Cole is FAR more enjoyable to hate than Matthews so I give this a good week before he’s the most annoying person in wrestling. Unfortunately it’s not in the good way but rather the “I’m not going to watch the show anymore because he’s driving me crazy” way that I’m sure a lot of fans will reach soon.

As for something resembling a season finale, it was fine enough with the Grand Championship changing hands and a main event with some resolution. I liked the show well enough, even though it’s not a show that is really going to mean anything going forward. When so much of the roster is gone and there’s a good chance a lot of it will be adjusted, there isn’t much of a point to this one. Still though, not horrible and that’s fine for what this was supposed to be.

Results

Rosemary b. Jade – Red Wedding on the stage

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Moose b. Drew Galloway via split decision

Lashley b. Josh Barnett – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6