205 Live Date: February 28, 2017
Location: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul Minnesota
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Corey Graves, Austin Aries
We’re five days away from Fastlane and Neville defending the Cruiserweight Title against Jack Gallagher. There’s really not much else going on though and that’s not a good thing. This show needs some more stories to really get going but at least we have a great champion on top. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Jack Gallagher vs. Neville. This feud needs to end in a hurry as it feels like little more than filler, which to be fair, it is.
Gallagher is ready for Neville’s Fastlane address and thinks he’ll be brooding about the title reign and say that his reign will never end. We’ll see about that on Sunday.
Opening sequence.
Noam Dar vs. Lince Dorado
Before we get going, someone brings Alicia Fox a bouquet of flowers, much to Dar’s annoyance. Dar tries to take him to the mat but Dorado speeds things up and hits a Lionsault press for two. As Dar takes him to the mat and works on the arm, Alicia is actually eating the flowers. We hit a chinlock as Rich Swann is watching in the back. Now the fans want flowers as Dorado gets in a hurricanrana and a belly to belly suplex. Dorado springboards into a Stunner for two but misses a dive off the top. One heck of a kick to the head gives Dar the pin at 4:01.
Rating: C-. This was fine as a way to push a midcard angle (good idea) and the flowers thing could likely set up Dar’s next feud. I’m not sure how interesting that’s going to be as there’s a good chance Fox is going to leave him anyway. Of course Fox eats flowers so it might not be the most easy to predict person in the world.
Post match Dar says he sent the flowers but I sense a ruse.
Austin Aries is in the ring to interview Akira Tozawa. Regarding turning down Brian Kendrick’s offer of being a mentor, Tozawa wants to be his own man. We get a look back at Kendrick’s “lessons” and Tozawa wants to fight right now. This is followed by a series of weird noises, which Graves calls a war cry.
Cue Kendrick (with some buggy eyes) to say he has a plan and no desire to fight. What makes Tozawa think that Kendrick is already willing to get in the ring with him? Who does Tozawa think he is? Tozawa starts to talk but Kendrick tells him to learn English first, like these Minnesotans need to do. This feud started off as nothing with someone I really don’t care about but I’m actually getting into it. Well done.
Tony Nese/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Mustafa Ali/TJ Perkins/Cedric Alexander
Nese slams Mustafa to start but it’s off to Cedric for a bit better luck. The good guys start working on the arm with TJ bending it back like a slot machine (thanks for the analogy Mauro). Nese gets pulled down into a cross armbreaker and it’s a stream of people being sent outside so the good guys can load up their dives. TJ gets pulled outside for a beating and we settle down to Daivari (from nearby Minneapolis) grabbing a neckbreaker. It’s off to Gulak for a Gory Stretch before Daivari adds one heck of a clothesline.
TJ finally gets out and makes the hot tag to Ali but Gulak grabs him in a torture rack for a slam. Everything breaks down and everyone but Ali and Gulak wind up on the floor. Mustafa hits the inverted 450 for two as Ariya puts the boot on the ropes. Nese comes back in for the German suplex into the corner but can’t follow up. The Detonation Kick rocks Daivari, only to have Gulak crotch Perkins on the top. Nese adds the running knee in the corner for the pin on Perkins at 10:16.
Rating: C+. So Nese is on the good list again? We can push him again now? This was fun but a bit too sloppy for my taste. These guys don’t really have anything going on right now and are now more like flashbacks to the original cruiserweight division on Raw, which really isn’t a good thing. They could go for some more mic time to give us a reason to care about them too.
Austin Aries video.
Here’s Neville for an extended chat. Neville takes credit for all the good things on 205 Live but the fans are completely ungrateful. The fans would rather cheer for a sideshow act like Gallagher. They’re the reason for his upcoming destruction on Sunday and there’s nothing that can stop that.
Cue Gallagher to say this sounds like a meltdown. He offers Neville some tea and biscuits so you know what the fans are going to be chanting now. Neville says this is his ring but Gallagher thinks it belongs to the people. That means it’s time for Neville to leave so the fight is on. The headbutt and some dropkicks both in and out of the ring send Neville into the crowd to wrap things up.
Overall Rating: C+. I really like Gallagher but he’s just not on this level yet. It’s pretty clear that Aries is getting the Wrestlemania title shot (or at least he certainly should) and that makes for some rather dull shows leading up to the announcement. Neville is a great champion and a win over Aries would look great but it’s not easy to watch Gallagher, who is very talented, have no chance in the upcoming match. The rest of the show was fine but the only other interesting story is Kendrick vs. Tozawa. An extra story is a good step though and things could be getting better, albeit somewhat slowly.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Middle Kingdom Wrestling – February 17, 2017: Big Sam and Others
Middle Kingdom Wrestling Date: February 17, 2017 Location: Pattaya Boxing Stadium, Pattaya, Chon Buri, Thailand
Commentator: Al Leung
We’re going to wrap up this very abbreviated season and hopefully head back to China where things are a bit better. The first show was a pretty mixed bad with one horrible match and one that was quite entertaining so it’s hard to guess what’s coming this time around. Let’s get to it.
Same opening sequence as last time, which isn’t the worst thing in the world given some of the eye candy in there.
We hear more of Dalton Bragg’s conversation. It’s true that he can’t wrestle but he’s found a replacement named Hayden Pearce, who is something called the Kingdom Wrestling Federation (no idea what/where that is) Champion. Tonight, he’ll defend against the Slam, though the graphic lists Pearce as Hayden Zenith. That’s the kind of thing that needs to be tightened up as I’m not even two minutes into the show and it’s already an issue.
Black Mamba/Big Sam vs. Maxim Risky/Malkeet Brawler
Maxim and Brawler are from India and one of them charges to the ring early, earning a good looking powerbomb from Sam. A boot to the chest drops Brawler but it’s Risky and Mamba starting things off as we hear the second bell. The commentator says this is in China, which doesn’t quite work after the whole point of this show is being in Thailand.
A suplex gets two on Mamba and Sam comes in….for some jumping jacks of course. Well you can’t do those on the apron. Sam comes in again for a regular save before distracting the referee so Mamba can choke. That second one threw the idea off a bit and it would have been a lot better if he had said it was a cramp or he was stretching or something like that. If you do it before and after but not in the middle, it weakens what you did in the first place (which was good).
Back to Sam for a clothesline on Brawler and what looks like a Sid Vicious pose. A gorilla press drop keeps showing off the power (smart) and it’s off to a camel clutch. Brawler makes the ropes so it’s another slam into a one finger cover. Mamba comes in again and plays Bret on something like a top rope Hart Attack but the referee is putting Sam out of the ring instead of counting. What would Danny Davis think of something like that?
Brawler gets in a TKO (love that move) and it’s a double tag to Sam and Risky. Sam takes a DDT and Risky gets in some really, really bad looking right hands in the corner. Follow through with those things. Brawler hits a running Fameasser (called XYZ) on Mamba and a slam on Sam in a fairly impressive power display.
A double suplex is another power display and Risky gets two off a superkick. I’m not sure how wise is it to have your monster getting beaten up and thrown around like this. Mamba sneaks in a low blow (second of the match but the first one meant and changed nothing) and Sam grabs a chokeslam on Risky. Mamba adds a frog splash for the pin at 10:39.
Rating: D+. There’s a LOT to talk about in this one. This is the best example I can think of to show how important psychology and match layout are to making something a success. Let’s look at Sam. He has the most unique look in this promotion (much bigger and Caucasian instead of the mostly Asian roster) and in this match he was acting like the opponents were beneath him (the one finger pin and various times where he acted like he didn’t even need to try). That’s playing to his character and very good. Sam is different and he should act like he is.
His move set made sense too. It was a lot of power stuff like the powerbomb, gorilla press and chokeslam. Back at Wrestlemania XIII, Shawn Michaels said there was no reason for Sid Vicious to deviate from his power game because the power was going to take him wherever he needed to go. That makes a lot of sense for someone like Sid/Sam as their offense is going to be more devastating due to their power so it should be the majority of what they do.
That brings us to the rest of the match, which had some issues. As I mentioned, Mamba hit two low blows. The first one just slowed his opponent down for a bit and then it was right back to where they were going before. Something like a low blow should be a match changer, not something on the same level as a clothesline or a few right hands. If you’re going to do those big spots, use them sparingly. Otherwise they’re just a regular move and people won’t care when they’re used in important spots. If you need proof, look at WWE’s main event style of spamming finishers.
There were good things in the match but there’s also a lot that needs to be tightened up. I didn’t really feel a flow to the match. One team was in control, then the other was in control, then the heels won. The ending felt like it came out of nowhere and the match just ended instead of building up to something. I’d also like to know a bit more about Risky and Brawler. All I know is they’re “stars in India”. How long have they been wrestling? Should I cheer for them? How long have they been teaming? Stuff like that can go a long way.
A big guy covered in tattoos whose name sounded like Humungous says he’s bringing underground wrestling to China.
Eurasian Dragon vs. Humungous
Dragon is the Singapore Champion and Humungous wants to make it a title shot. The request is accepted and we’re ready to go. This was another example of the disappearing and reappearing subtitles.
Singapore Title: Eurasian Dragon vs. Humungous
Dragon is defending and gets driven into the corner as we hear about Humungous wrestling around the world. A few forearms sends Humungous into the ropes like a cowardly heel and he flips Dragon off after teasing a handshake. Dragon misses a Flip Flop and Fly but grabs La Majistral for the pin to retain at 2:28.
Humungous hits him from behind and says he wants a rematch. I’m not sure if debuting someone and having them job immediately is a good idea but Humungous had a good look.
KWF Title: Hayden Zenith vs. The Slam
Slam is challenging and his CWE Title isn’t on the line. One side note here: all of the titles that I’ve seen around here look really good. There are a lot of ugly belts in wrestling but these are all very nice. Granted part of that might be due to the fact that the KWF Title is a WWF Attitude Era World Title replica. Eh if you’re going to use a replica, use one of the best looking of all time.
They start fast (a rarity around here) with Slam sweeping the leg but stopping to pose, allowing Zenith to pull him off the ropes and hammer away. Some loud chops set up a hard Saito suplex on Slam and we get a cocky cover. A hard kick to Slam’s back sends some sweat flying (always a good visual) and we hit an octopus hold. Zenith switches over to a few more submission attempts as this is already by far and away the most polished match of the two shows.
Slam fights up but eats a pair of superkicks (giving us a Superkick Party reference) and they head out to the ramp. Some rather hard forearms knock Hayden back in and Slam’s top rope forearm gets….no cover. Instead Zenith slips out of a Jackhammer and we get a ref bump. Cue Bragg to check on the referee as Slam hits a suplex into a cutter (not a Jackhammer as the announcer puts it). It’s a ruse though and Bragg hits Slam in the head with the crutch so Zenith can retain at 8:33.
Rating: C+. This was the first time I really felt like I got an angle this promotion has tried to run. It’s a very simple idea and I got the point without having to figure anything out. Zenith and Slam were some of the more polished guys and Bragg as the champion who is scared of Slam is a good enough story. Throw in Bragg having a #1 contender in Selfie King and you have the makings for something interesting. I haven’t felt that around here too often and it’s very nice change of pace.
Bragg beats on Slam with the crutch to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Much like the tag, there’s good and bad on here. Let’s get to the good first: this felt like a more complete show. There were three matches here and each one felt like it served a purpose. The tag match was good and made Sam look like a threat to someone down the line. Dragon vs. Humungous looks to be the start of a feud and Humungous has some charisma to him. Finally you have the main event which felt like a good angle. I’m pleased here and while the show had some quality issues, it had a good structure, which might be more important.
On the other hand, the promotion is still lacking in character development. Let’s take a look at the two shows combined. Other than having Sam in his corner, what separates Ash, Jason and Black Mamba? They have a similar look and wrestle a similar style. I barely know anything about them and they really lose me when I’m trying to remember which is which.
Finally, the offenses need to be varied up a bit. In the first three matches of these two shows, three people used a frog splash. There are a ton of moves to use from the top and just because a frog splash is cool, you can use something else. Drop an elbow, drop a knee, do a spinning splash. Just don’t do the same thing that so many people have done. It was annoying in the Cruiserweight Classic and it’s the same here.
I liked enough of the show and this episode showed some promise but they need to find a way to keep that momentum going. Maybe it was just a lucky night with an angle to help tie things together at the end but they need to build on that instead of having a bunch of one off shows before advancing the story. Have people cut a thirty second promo (throw in subtitles if necessary) and keep things moving. It’ll keep people coming back and that’s the key at this point.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania III: The Big One
Wrestlemania III Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
This is the biggest show in wrestling history with the biggest match in wrestling history as its main event. How’s that for a standard to live up to? In case you’re one of the six wrestling fans ever that hasn’t heard of this show, the main event is Hulk Hogan defending the WWF Title against Andre the Giant in a match four years in the making. In the undercard we have the greatest match of all time. This is the first show where they treated Wrestlemania as something huge and not just a big house show, making it the first “modern” Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
The wide shot of the arena is still quite a sight. Oh and for once and for all: there were 93,000 people there. The argument about how it doesn’t hold that many doesn’t hold up as the total often listed is for football, which requires WAY more space than a wrestling show. It would be like covering half the field with more seats. On the other hand, let’s say WWE is lying about the number. A lie? In wrestling? Surely you jest. I don’t get why people are so obsessed with proving there were less people there than claimed.
Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.
Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.
Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton
No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.
Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.
Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.
Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.
We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.
Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.
Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes
This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.
A suplex gets two for Hercules as he picks Haynes up. Billy can’t suplex Hercules because of the back so the Greek guy hits a backbreaker to keep the momentum up. Hercules hooks the full nelson but can’t get the fingers locked, allowing Billy to escape. Jack fights out of it and they clothesline each other down. Haynes grabs a quick atomic drop to fire the crowd up but his back messes up again. A clothesline sets up a legdrop on Hercules and a middle rope fist to the head keeps Hercules in trouble. Jack gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls them both to the floor. Herc gets put in the hold again but a double countout ends this.
Rating: D+. The fact that the crowd is hot for everything tonight is all that made this passable, which can be a great tool to bring a match up a lot. At the end of the day, they’re WAY too similar and neither guy is exactly someone that can carry a match. It’s not terrible but it didn’t go anywhere at all. This would be the only feud of note that Haynes had and he would be jobbing soon.
Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.
King Kong Bundy and his midgets say they’ll beat Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.
The other team says the exact opposite.
Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo
Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.
Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.
Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.
Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.
Macho Man won’t let Liz get interviewed.
We recap Race vs. JYD. Race is the King of Wrestling but Dog refuses to bow because he doesn’t think we have kings here in America. One night JYD put Race’s robe and crown on but Race decked him and tried to force JYD to bow. JYD is the Junkyard Dog in case you’re new at this.
Race, Heenan and Moolah (the Queen) says that there won’t be a new king tonight.
Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog
The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.
Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.
Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.
Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.
Hogan talks about riding to the show after hearing people telling him this was his last ride. Tonight it’s time for Andre to face the truth and all Hogan has to do is beat a 7’4 520lb giant. Andre has to beat Hogan and every Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is going to get Andre, not the dirty air or the politicians (HUH?) and Andre has to face the truth. I’ve seen the match he’s talking about probably 40 times and it still feels huge.
Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers
The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.
Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.
Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.
Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.
We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had left to make a movie and came back to find Piper’s Pit taken over by Adonis’ Flower Shop with Orton having sided with Adonis. Orton, Adonis, Muraco and Hart broke Piper’s leg but he came back with a ball bat and DESTROYED the Flower Shop. This is also billed as Piper’s farewell match.
Piper says he’s not going out to a man that wears a dress. No Retreat and No Surrender!
Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis
The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.
Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.
Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.
Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.
Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.
Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.
Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana
Davis is a crooked referee that cost both the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Apparently this is Davis’ debut as a wrestler. Mary Hart (no relation) is on commentary along with Uecker here as well. Tito beats up Danny before the match before we get going with Bret and Santana. Jesse steals the Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda as he leaves. Off to Davey vs. Anvil and Smith pulls him by the beard. That’s a bit rough even for Neidhart.
Tito comes back in to work on the arm but gets sent to the heel corner for some high quality choking. That goes nowhere so here’s Smith vs. Neidhart again. Jim takes him down with a suplex but Bret misses a middle rope elbow. Dynamite comes in for the chest to buckle bump from Bret but Hart comes back with some punches. Tito tries to break up some interference but only allows even more cheating by Neidhart.
Jim hooks a modified camel clutch on Dynamite before it’s back to Bret. I don’t think we’ve seen Davis in yet but before I can finish that sentence he’s in for a few stomps. That’s the extent of his offense as it’s already back to Bret for some actual skill. The sun is starting to go down so the arena looks dark now. Back to Danny for one kick before it’s time for the Hitman again.
The Harts slingshot Davis right onto Dynamite’s knees and it’s off to Santana for the beating on Davis that the fans have been waiting for. Tito destroys Danny and hits the forearm but Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four. Off to Smith who rams Davis’ head into Dynamite’s. A jumping tombstone (not yet named) kills Davis even more but Smith doesn’t want the cover. There’s the delayed vertical followed by the powerslam but everything breaks down. Davis pops up and hits Smith with the megaphone for the pin in the melee.
Rating: C-. As fun as the beating Davis took was, the ending is really stupid as he popped up like nothing and was able to knock out a power guy with a single shot? The guy was a referee a few months ago but he’s able to do that with one shot? Bad ending aside, this was fun stuff and the fans were WAY into it.
Heenan and Andre say that Andre can’t be defeated and everyone knows it. Bobby’s white suit is rather awesome.
Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware
Slick is here with Reed. That comes into play later. Reed overpowers him to start which is appropriate in a power vs. speed match. Koko comes back with that dropkick of his to send Reed out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the Bird Man’s ribs give Butch control again but Koko hiptosses him down. Koko pounds away and hits another dropkick for two. A run of the ropes proves deadly though as Reed rolls through a cross body and a handful of tights pins Ware.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Koko was there as a warm body to lose to Butch. Reed was going to be the Intercontinental Champion after Steamboat got done with it but Honky talked his way into getting the belt instead. This match was there only to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to now.
Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.
So far we’ve had eight matches and on average it’s probably a C- at best. I think the next one might help bring things up a bit.
We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. On an episode of Superstars, Savage smashed Steamboat’s throat into the barricade and crushed his larynx with the ring bell. One night on SNME, George Steele was facing Randy Savage and promised a surprise. Steele kidnapped Liz and when Savage got up, he saw Steamboat staring up at him and terror reigned.
Savage says that he’s retaining the title and is going to prove how amazing he is.
Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.
Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat
The fans give an audible pop for Savage which even the announcers have to acknowledge. George Steele comes out to back up Steamboat and show off that green tongue. They shove each other around a few times before Randy takes an early breather. Savage misses a back elbow and Steamboat hits a pair of those perfect armdrags of his. Randy is lifted into the air via a choke and it’s back to the floor.
Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.
With the champion tied up, Steamboat fires away with a vengeance. Savage gets loose and Ricky hits a cross body for two, kicking off one of the fastest sets of near falls you’ll EVER see. Randy finally slows him down with a knee to the back and a toss over the ropes, only to have Ricky skin the cat. Savage throws him out again and knocks him into the crowd for good measure. The top rope ax handle keeps Steamboat down even longer and Savage is in full control.
Savage hits a clothesline for two which Gorilla doesn’t like. Gorilla: “That could be a disqualification.” Jesse: “For what?” Gorilla: “Intentional.” Jesse: “Well of course it was intentional!” Gorilla could find some weird stuff to complain about at times. After a pair of Savage suplexes for two, Ricky starts firing back and sends Savage out to the floor. A top rope chop gets two for the challenger and they speed things up all over again.
We get another chase on the floor followed by a sunset flip by the Dragon for two. They trade ANOTHER great pinfall reversal sequence as Jesse declares this one of the greatest matches he’s ever seen. A slingshot sends Savage face first into the post and there’s a sunset flip for two for the Dragon. Savage reverses an O’Connor Roll with a handful of tights for two. Randy uses the tights again and sends Dragon shoulder first into the post.
They reverse an Irish whip and the referee gets bumped. Randy hits another clothesline and drops the big elbow but there’s no referee. Savage goes to get the bell but Steele takes it away. That earns the Animal a kick in the head so he shoves Savage off the top. Steamboat is back up and famously counters a slam into a small package for the pin and the title.
Rating: A+. This is the greatest match of all time so what do you expect me to give it. I’m amazed at how well this holds up nearly 26 years later as there is nothing wrong with it at all. The story goes that these two practiced this match at Savage’s house for three months beforehand and it shows. Not a thing is even close to screwed up and they’re so fast out there it’s unbelievable. How anyone can say this is anything but perfect astounds me to this day. If you haven’t seen this before, watch it now and take notes.
Alice Cooper (male rock/metal singer) is here to back up Jake Roberts against Honky and Jimmy Hart. This was set up because Honky hit Jake in the back with a guitar, which was allegedly the reason for Jake’s addiction to pain medication that has plagued him for years. Jake says Honky got his shot but didn’t make it count. His mustache alone makes him the favorite.
Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts
This is one of the matches that is there to give us a breather between the masterpiece and the main event. Jake pounds away to start and hits a knee lift to send Honky out to the floor. Honky still can’t get his ring suit off so Jake rips it off for him. Jake follows him to the floor and slams Honky down before heading back inside. Back in and Jake charges into a knee to the face to shift momentum.
Honky drops a pair of knees to Jake’s back but misses a punch and walks into the short clothesline. The grease in Honky’s hair allows him to escape the DDT and we head outside again. Jake is sent into the post and the barricade so Honky can dance a bit. Back in and a middle rope punch puts Jake in even more trouble. There’s a knee drop to the Snake and a pair of elbows for no cover.
The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) is countered by Jake and there’s an atomic drop for the eternally funny selling by Honky. Jake punches him to the apron and Honky gets caught in between the ropes, meaning he bounces back up every time Jake punches him. The DDT is countered again and after a Jimmy interference, Honky grabs a rollup and the top rope for the upset pin.
Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.
Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.
Gene Okerlund announces a new world indoor attendance record of 93,173. That’s awesome.
Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees
Unlike the previous match that had a feud going with it, this is just a random heel and face pairing. Slick (the foreigners’ manager) still has his torn up suit on. Volkoff starts singing the Soviet national anthem but the pretty new Jim Duggan runs out to break it up. The Bees finally show up and it’s a big brawl to start. Duggan is marching around at ringside with the 2×4 complete with a little American flag taped to it.
We start with Blair and Sheik but it’s quickly off to Brunzell. The Bees work over Iron’s arm with tags faster than I can type them. They stay on the arm until Brunzell hits his gorgeous dropkick for two on Sheik. Everything breaks down for a bit and Brunzell gets caught in the corner. Nikolai keeps Brunzell in trouble as the fans chant USA. There’s the bearhug by the Russian but Jim smacks his ears to break the hold.
Off to Sheik for the gutwrench suplex for two and a regular version for two. Brunzell comes back with a quick high knee but the referee doesn’t see the tag. A double elbow puts Jim down again and Sheik poses a lot. Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring and sees Sheik with the camel clutch on Brunzell. Being the patriot that he is, Duggan blasts Sheik in the back with the board for the DQ.
Rating: C-. Not a terrible little match here until the stupid ending. This was again about furthering another feud in the form of Duggan against the evil foreigners. Why the Bees would be ok with Duggan doing that is beyond me but I guess since they’re all good guys they have to get along in WWF logic.
Andre says the next time you see him, he’ll be world heavyweight champion. Heenan says he’ll be the manager of the world champion and go down in history.
We recap Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan. Andre was there three years ago when Hogan won the title and they teamed together a few times with Hogan making the save when Andre was double teamed. There’s a LONG story (not mentioned in the show because it isn’t important) about Andre getting suspended and wrestling in a mask until Bobby Heenan, the guy behind the suspension, got it lifted.
Andre appeared with Hogan in Piper’s Pit where both received trophies; Andre’s for being undefeated for fifteen years and Hogan’s for being world champion for three years. However, Andre’s trophy was noticeably smaller, prompting him to say “three years to be a champion, that’s a long time.” A few weeks later, Andre walked into the Pit with Heenan at his side and challenges Hogan for Wrestlemania. Hogan is STUNNED and has the crucifix ripped off his chest. Hogan finally agrees to fight Andre at Wrestlemania and the arena exploded. Make no mistake about it: THIS is why Wrestlemania III is the biggest show ever.
Hogan talks about how he’s going to knock the giant down and shake the world.
Bob Uecker is brought in as the guest ring announcer. Jesse says hi to Terry, Tyrell and Jade back in Minneapolis. He did this on nearly every show but never said who those people were. It was nothing secretive: it’s his wife and kids. Mary Hart is guest timekeeper.
WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan
Hogan walks to the ring and the ovation is unreal. To put it simply, this is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. We get the historic staredown and we’re really supposed to believe that Hogan is nine inches shorter than Andre? It’s like three at most. Hogan punches away to start but goes for a slam a minute into this and falls down, giving Andre a very close two. That right there would fuel the rematch requests for the next year. Hulk’s back is hurt and Andre starts taunting him. A big forearm hits Hogan in the back and Andre slams him twice. Andre pounds away very slowly and hits a few headbutts.
Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.
We head back in for the legendary ending sequence. Hogan ducks a big boot and clotheslines down. It’s Hulk Up time and in the most famous scene in wrestling history, Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant to blow the roof off the place. The big legdrop makes Hogan immortal and the title is retained.
Rating: B. Ok here’s the thing: if you think this is about the wrestling itself, you have completely missed the point here. This was about making Hogan look like the biggest star ever and to say it did that is an understatement. On top of that, the match isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but the match is nowhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. This was exactly what it was supposed to be.
Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.
Overall Rating: A+. There’s really no other grade to give this. It’s the biggest show of all time, the greatest match of all time is on here, and the main event has two of the most famous images of all time. This show is the pinnacle of wrestling in America and it’s never been as big as this again. There’s nothing truly bad on this show as even the weaker matches are at least really short. This show was never about the wrestling though. It’s all spectacle here and it’s an absolute must see show for any fan and it still goes by very smoothly. If you somehow haven’t seen this, definitely check it out.
Ratings Comparison
Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton
Original: B+
Redo: B-
Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook
Original: F
Redo: D+
Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog
Original: D+
Redo: D
Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers
Original: D+
Redo: C-
Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Impact Wrestling Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We’re in a weird spot here as this is the final taping before the promotion is completely overhauled into Jeff Jarrett’s new vision. It’s also the final show for a lot of talent, including the Hardys who have publicly stated they’ve left the company. Other than that we have Lashley defending the World Title against Josh Barnett. Let’s get to it.
Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Rosemary
No intro and Madison Rayne is on commentary. Jade is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. They start brawling in the aisle with Jade grabbing some German suplexes inside. Madison: “I think Jade knows it’s going to take more than some German suplexes to keep Rosemary down.” That’s the kind of commentary that people mock Madison for but I’m sure Josh will say she’s the best female commentator ever.
The weapons are brought in and Rosemary chokes Jade over the ropes. A short range Coast to Coast drives a garbage can into Jade’s face for a seven but Jade swings away with a kendo stick. Madison keeps prattling on until Pope cuts her off as Jade powerbombs Rosemary onto the can.
Jade comes off the top and dives into the mist and a Red Wedding (F5) for another near fall. Back up and Jade is knocked to the floor and another Red Wedding outside gets nine. Rosemary gets posted and Jade washes her eyes out before powerbombing the champion onto the steps. That’s still not enough to finish things off so Rosemary mists her again. A third Red Wedding on the stage retains the title at 11:09.
Rating: C. Jade hit a big move, Rosemary hit a big move, Jade hit another big move, Rosemary used the mist, Madison got really annoying every time she talked. This was entertaining while it lasted but it was also a very formula based match and a result we’ve seen so many times already. Rosemary really needs a new opponent and if it’s not Allie, I have no idea what they’re going for.
Moose wants Cody.
Matt Hardy has brought the family to his zoo for a day of togetherness. On top of that though, Matt wants to see how Jeff can handle his new found powers.
Moose calls Cody out for a fight and he doesn’t care what club he’s a part of. Cody comes in from behind as Josh rips on Moose for getting involved in Rhodes Family business. Moose fights back and powerbombs some production guys before getting into it with Cody again on the ramp. Wrestlers try to break it up and here’s Brandi to yell at Cody to stop. Cody agrees but beats up Josh Matthews instead. Well I’m a fan.
James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz
Josh is back on commentary and talking about his dedication to the job to be back. Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross would be out of action for months you see. Oh….joy. Storm jumps Jesse to start and grabs a belly to belly. It’s off to the Adonis Lock but here’s Kingston for a distraction so James can take out the knee. Josh: “I could have used someone like Kingston earlier when Cody was out here!”
We hit a quickly broken leglock as Josh is now insulting Jeremy Borash. Jesse fights up with a clothesline and gets two off a Blockbuster. Now we get to hear about Josh’s in-ring career (He was undefeated. Like a certain other heel commentator at Wrestlemania perhaps?) as Kingston gets inside. Jesse suplexes him and grabs another Adonis Lock to make Storm tap behind the referee’s back. Cue Bram to chair Jesse, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 6:30.
Rating: D. So you have two problems here and I’ll let you pick which is worse. First up, we have Matthews running his mouth non-stop and becoming the heel character who will be on the show for two hours straight every single week. Second, we have the DCC needing three weeks and cheating to beat Jesse Godderz, which is supposed to be a big deal. I really, really hope they make a change to commentary because Pope as the lead face and Josh as a heel isn’t going to work.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett
Lee is defending. Everett doesn’t waste time and gets in an early Pele to send Lee outside for a big flip dive. Another big flip dive takes Lee down again and a top rope Asai Moonsault has Lee reeling. Back in and Lee does his running C4 and hammers away but the announcers are arguing about something changing next week.
Lee stomps away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline as Josh tells Pope to cut out the comedy. A springboard missile dropkick puts Lee down but Everett can’t follow up. The hurricanrana driver plants Lee but Gregory Helms grabs the referee at two. Everett chases Gregory off and tries the shooting star which hits raised knees. Lee grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin to retain at 7:11.
Rating: C-. Everett was a good looking flipper and that’s about it. The Helms thing feels like an X-Division version of Ric Flair and HHH which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. At least we had some entertaining stuff here but the division is in need of (another) overhaul and I don’t know if I believe TNA is going to do it.
Matt tells Jeff to feed a donkey named Vincent Van Gogh. Vincent tells him to get a shark and keep it in a salt water pool. Jeff has a pre-mo-nition that says they’ll be outnumbered in an upcoming fight. Everyone grabs Vanguard I and it’s time for the next trip on the Expedition of Gold.
Back from a break and the Hardys arrive at an undisclosed arena.
After a look at Lashley and Barnett warming up, the Hardys are backstage and demanding a shot at the National Tag Team Titles of the World. Senor Benjamin asks the #1 contenders (apparently named the Appalachian Outlaws, who won a sixty four team tournament) for their autographs and then electrocutes them. The Hardys offer to replace them and agree to work without being paid.
The match is made and turns into a hardcore brawl in the back with Matt being left alone. Jeff is stuck in the back getting beaten down by the Outlaws but Jeff and Benjamin bust out the fireworks. The Outlaws bail and Jeff comes back to the ring for the win and the titles, setting up a big celebration.
Drew Galloway comes up to Moose in the back and offers him a shot tonight.
Long recap of last week’s wedding.
Laurel is in the back, crying and screaming, still wearing the wedding dress and holding the champagne.
Global Title: Moose vs. Drew Galloway
Galloway is defending and kicks Moose in the face to start before it quickly goes outside. Drew gets the better of it and sends Moose into the steps, setting up the Celtic Cross onto said steps for a near countout. The bell saves Moose but he still loses the first round. The second round begins after a break with Moose kicking Drew in the face and running him over as a bonus. A moonsault gets two on the champ so he bails up the ramp, only to get caught like you would expect.
Something like an AA (not a Death Valley Driver) onto the apron drops Moose again but he powerbombs Drew onto the apron as well. Again it’s nearly a countout but this time Moose wins to tie the score. To continue the theme, they kick each other in the face to start the round. Moose is back up with the Game Changer for two but Galloway hits a Claymore and a Tombstone for the same. They slug it out with Moose getting the better of it and no selling another Claymore. A second Game Changer takes us to the end of the match at 15:13. Moose wins on a split decision and Josh starts complaining.
Rating: B-. This is mainly due to Galloway leaving and needing to get the title off of him in time. Now in theory that should have been done with the Hardys as well but you can’t expect TNA to get something right twice in a night. Anyway, they beat the heck out of each other here and Moose winning is the right idea, especially with a good performance like that. I’m not wild on Drew leaving but you have to get the title off of him here and that’s exactly what they did.
Drew throws a chair.
We get the same Barnett video from last week.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Josh Barnett
Lashley is defending and gets kicked in the head for his efforts. More kicks have Josh in control but Lashley takes him to the mat as we go to a break. Back with Lashley taking a jumping knee to the chest but grabbing an armbar to slow things down. The spear is countered into a cross armbreaker attempt but Lashley is in the ropes. Barnett’s keylock is countered and a spear gives Lashley the pin at 9:21.
Rating: D+. That’s an edited ending as there was originally a screwy finish with Barnett getting the pin but having it reversed a few moments later. As it is, this was little more than Lashley’s latest uninteresting test as Barnett doesn’t have much standing in TNA and his debut promo was weak at best. Just a match really and not a very interesting one, as is often the case with MMA style wrestling matches.
A preview of next week’s show with a list of names appearing (nothing out of the ordinary) takes us out.
Overall Rating: D+. And that’s it for this version of TNA. The big development here seems to be Josh Matthews doing his best Michael Cole impression. That character got old fast and Cole is FAR more enjoyable to hate than Matthews so I give this a good week before he’s the most annoying person in wrestling. Unfortunately it’s not in the good way but rather the “I’m not going to watch the show anymore because he’s driving me crazy” way that I’m sure a lot of fans will reach soon.
As for something resembling a season finale, it was fine enough with the Grand Championship changing hands and a main event with some resolution. I liked the show well enough, even though it’s not a show that is really going to mean anything going forward. When so much of the roster is gone and there’s a good chance a lot of it will be adjusted, there isn’t much of a point to this one. Still though, not horrible and that’s fine for what this was supposed to be.
Results
Rosemary b. Jade – Red Wedding on the stage
James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call
Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Moose b. Drew Galloway via split decision
Lashley b. Josh Barnett – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania II: I Knew I Hated Triple Threats
Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira
This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.
This is on a Monday for some reason.
This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.
Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.
Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.
Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.
Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.
Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco
This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.
Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.
Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.
Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.
Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage
This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.
Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.
A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).
The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.
Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.
Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.
Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.
Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.
Jake Roberts vs. George Wells
Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.
Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.
We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.
Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.
We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.
Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.
This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.
Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.
Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.
T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.
Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.
Off to Chicago!
Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.
Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre
Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.
Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff
This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.
We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.
Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.
Battle Royal
NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry
WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart
Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.
The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.
Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.
Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.
Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.
Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.
We look at the end of the battle royal again.
Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs
The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.
Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.
The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.
Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.
Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.
Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.
Off to Los Angeles.
Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez
Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.
We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.
Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.
Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer
We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.
Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.
Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.
We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.
Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana
It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.
Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.
Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.
Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.
Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.
We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.
Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.
Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.
Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.
WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy
Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.
Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.
Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.
Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.
Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.
Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.
Ratings Comparison
Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco
Original: D+
Redo: D
Randy Savage vs. George Steele
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Jake Roberts vs. George Wells
Original: F
Redo: D+
Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper
Original: F
Redo: D
Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff
Original: D-
Redo: N/A
Battle Royal
Original: B
Redo: D
British Bulldog vs. Dream Team
Original: B-
Redo: B
Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer
Original: N/A
Redo: D-
Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy
Original: B-
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: D+
Redo: D
Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Thoughts on the 2016 Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards
Don’t these usually come out earlier? These are Meltzer and Company’s awards (yes I’m aware his readers vote on them and if you believe that he doesn’t influence voting, you’re really missing the obvious) and I’ve jotted down a few thoughts on each. These aren’t meant to be any kind of in depth analysis and are really more along the lines of if I agree or not.
Category A Awards
Wrestler of the Year – AJ Styles
Yep. There really wasn’t another option here, save for maybe Omega or Naito.
MMA Most Valuable – Conor McGregor
If there’s a bigger layup this year, I have no idea what it could be.
Most Outstanding Wrestler – AJ Styles
For the life of me I still don’t get the difference between this and Wrestler of the Year. I’ve had it explained to me more than once and I still have no idea why both of them need to exist. No one else in WWE was even in the top ten.
Most Outstanding Fighter – Conor McGregor
Enough MMA in the wrestling awards.
Best Box Office Draw – Conor McGregor
I didn’t even scroll down before I wrote who won. Again: it’s not fair to compare WWE and MMA but that’s never stopped Meltzer.
Feud of the Year – Conor McGregor vs. Nate Diaz.
Erg here we go again. The top wrestling feud was AJ Styles vs. John Cena, which was nearly quadrupled in points.
Tag Team of the Year – Young Bucks
Nope, and I’m sure their finishing move being the MELTZER DRIVER had nothing to do with this.
Most Improved – Matt Riddle
I’ve heard nothing but great things about him so I don’t have any issue here. I would have gone with Miz and the scoring was Riddle – 1026 and Miz – 1020.
Best on Interviews – Conor McGregor
Again, didn’t even have to scroll down. Miz was the top wrestler and got blown out again.
Most Charismatic – Conor McGregor
Nakamura was second.
Bryan Danielson Award (Best Technical Wrestler) – Zack Sabre Jr
Hard to argue that one, especially with some of the stuff he did in the Cruiserweight Classic.
Bruiser Brody Memorial Award (Best Brawler) – Tomohiro Ishii
I’m not a fan of the guy but this makes sense.
Best Flying Wrestler – Will Ospreay
As I’ve said many times so far: hard to argue. Ospreay does some insanely cool looking flips.
Most Overrated – Roman Reigns
I can’t go with this as Reigns is certainly good, if not very good, in the ring. He’s just presented horribly and far too strong. I’d actually go with the #5 option: Cody Rhodes. Name one great match he’s had and tell me why he’s one of the hottest free agents in wrestling. Rhodes is good but highly overrated. Reigns is good but horribly mismanaged.
Most Underrated – Cesaro
He’s won it three years running now and I tend to disagree more every year. At what point is it on him and not WWE?
Promotion of the Year – New Japan
Yeah pretty much. TNA didn’t even crack the top ten and didn’t make the Honorable Mentions.
Best Weekly TV Show – New Japan
It’s not clear if that’s the Japanese show (if one exists) or the AXS show. NXT was all the way in sixth here after winning four years straight and Raw was after Impact. It’s not THAT bad.
Match of the Year – Tanahashi vs. Okada (January 4)
It’s a runaway and Nakamura vs. Zayn was fifth. I disagree but the January 4 match was very good.
MMA Match of the Year – Robbie Lawler vs. Carlos Condit – January 2
If this can have it’s own exclusive award, why can’t the rest of them? That doesn’t make sense.
Rookie of the Year – Matt Riddle
Again, fine. I think I voted for him on the WrestleZone Awards. The only WWE name on the list: Daria Berenato. That makes sense given how WWE doesn’t really hire rookies. Speaking of rookies, he’s a rookie and most improved? That’s kind of odd.
Best Non-Wrestler – Dario Cueto
Even in a down year for Lucha Underground, this is no surprise and shouldn’t be.
Best TV Announcer – Mauro Ranallo
Was this ever in doubt? Corey Graves was a close second.
Worst TV Announcer – David Otunga
Why does he have a job? Aside from being married to Jennifer Hudson that is.
Best Major Wrestling Show – Wrestle Kingdom
You knew this was going to be #1 and it’s no surprise. It’s a very good show but too long for my taste.
Category B Awards
Worst Major Wrestling Show – Wrestlemania XXXII
I was there and I got bored.
Best Wrestling Maneuver – Kenny Omega’s One Winged Angel
It certainly looks good. You know what doesn’t look good? The #2 choice: the Rainmaker. I’ve said it for years now but IT’S STILL JUST A FREAKING CLOTHESLINE!
Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic – Bellator Kimbo Slice vs. Dada 500 Fight
That was indeed embarrassing. The #1 wrestling pick was Lesnar cutting Orton open at Summerslam. This one is very opinion based and I can’t think of anything that jumps ahead of everything else.
Worst TV Show – Raw
Am I really the only person who still watches Impact?
Worst Match of the Year – Shelley Martinez vs. Rebel – TNA One Night Only
I actually watched this due to the horror stories and it really is this bad. I’d go with HHH vs. Reigns due to where it took place but this is fine.
Worst Feud of the Year – Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young
Makes sense. It also makes my head hurt.
Worst Promotion of the Year – TNA
Can we get the award named after them? That’s TEN YEARS in a row.
Best Booker – Gedo
Of course. He scored 851 points, or nearly ten times second place.
Promoter of the Year – Dana White
Real promotion/sport. Fake promotion/sport. Totally the same thing.
Best Gimmick – Broken Matt Hardy
If this was ANYTHING else, they were kidding themselves.
Worst Gimmick – Bone Soldier
I only saw him in a battle royal so I’ll take the word for it. The Cabinet was #2 and probably who I would have gone with.
Best Pro Wrestling Book – Ali vs. Inoki
I haven’t read it but Pat Patterson’s Accepted (#2) was good.
Best Pro Wrestling DVD – Seth Rollins: Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim
People still watch DVDs in the Network Era?
Overall, I don’t have many complaints about the wrestling stuff. As usual, I do have a problem with comparing MMA and wrestling for reasons that should be obvious. These are mostly fine but PLEASE stop mixing MMA and wrestling. It’s just not a fair comparison and comes off as more of a way to put MMA over WWE for whatever reason. On a less annoyed note, Meltzer and company love them some New Japan and while I rarely agree on that front, it’s hardly a bunch of ridiculous choices. These aren’t as fun without something to get mad over and that’s really not here this time around.
NXT – March 1, 2017: It Better Be Going That Way
NXT Date: March 1, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Tom Phillips
It’s the final night of the taping cycle and we’ve got a big title match to send us out. This time around it’s the Authors of Pain defending the Tag Team Titles against the former champions DIY. These teams had a surprisingly good match back at Takeover: San Antonio so maybe they can pull it off again here. Let’s get to it.
Preview for tonight’s show, including Asuka defending the Women’s Title against Peyton Royce.
Opening sequence.
Sean Maluta vs. Patrick Clark
Clark is your latest “flamboyant” wrestler so Maluta punches him in the face during his opening…..shall we say prancing. Maluta gets two off a Shining Wizard but Clark gets all ticked off and hammers away in the corner. A suplex sets up a chinlock and of course Maluta makes a quick comeback. Clark will have none of that though and hits a bad looking Fameasser for the pin at 2:40. The fans didn’t seem impressed though Clark has a really athletic and lanky body which could be used in a better gimmick.
Sanity wants Tye Dillinger to accept his fate and stop drowning in his own choices. Instead of dragging his friends down with him, Tye needs to face Eric Young on his own. Nikki Cross says if he doesn’t, the whole world will burn.
Women’s Title: Peyton Royce vs. Asuka
Royce won a triple threat last week to earn her shot. Feeling out process to start with Nigel talking about other great female Japanese wrestlers (and managing to plug the Network at the same time). A shoulder just fires Asuka up and she forearms Peyton down. Both of them miss big kicks and it’s a standoff.
Back to back hip attacks put Peyton on the floor but she sends Asuka into the steps as we take a break. We come back with Asuka fighting out of a chinlock (as is customary) so Royce starts working on the arm that went into the post. A standing armbar only seems to tick the champ off and a suplex drops Peyton.
Asuka starts striking away but hurts the arm again. Instead it’s a Shining Wizard for two on Royce but a spinning kick to the face gets the same on Asuka. That goes nowhere though as Asuka kicks the heck out of Peyton and spins her down into the Asuka Lock to retain the title at 11:20.
Rating: C+. They did a very good job here of making Asuka look vulnerable. One of the biggest problems is finding a realistic opponent for her and this was as good as it was going to get with either Royce or Billie Kay. Asuka wasn’t in the greatest danger here but she also didn’t squash Peyton, which made for a much better match.
Post match Billie Kay comes in for the double team but Ember Moon makes the save. Asuka holds up the title and Ember stares her down. There’s Takeover.
We look back at Takeover: San Antonio where Shinsuke Nakamura’s knee was injured. Kassius Ohno checked on him in the back.
Here the end of last week’s episode with Kassius Ohno saving No Way Jose from Bobby Roode and getting in a fight with Ohno clearing house.
William Regal makes Roode vs. Ohno for the title in two weeks.
Paul Ellering gives the Authors of Pain a pep talk.
Wolfgang is coming.
Shinsuke Nakamura is back next week.
Tag Team Titles: Authors of Pain vs. DIY
DIY is challenging. Akum stares Ciampa down to start but Tommaso isn’t the slightest bit intimidated. The double spear through the ropes drops Akum and some double clotheslines put the champs on the floor. Ciampa tries a dive through the ropes but gets sent hard into the post to put him right back down.
Back in and Ciampa gets caught in the wrong corner and runs into a backbreaker for two. Ciampa chops and slaps the heck out of Akum but gets caught in an assisted backbreaker to put him down again. The one sided beating takes us to a break with Ciampa in trouble. Back with Tommaso avoiding a charge and making the hot tag off to Gargano so things can speed up. A suicide dive drops Akum and a springboard moonsault does the same to Razar.
The double strike to the corner drops Akum for two and Ciampa grabs his flip over armbar. Razar makes the save and sends Gargano to the floor. Ciampa gets in a kick though and Gargano comes back in for a double powerbomb out of the corner. Razar saves his partner from the running double strike (which really needs a name) but it’s time for the stereo armbars. Cue the Revival for the DQ at 13:25.
Rating: B. These matches are giving me a Sting vs. Vader vibe where the smaller guys do whatever they can to take down the monsters but then they get hit really, really hard. The ending was the right call as all three of them deserve to be in the title hunt and there’s a chance that the title match will be outstanding. The Authors are a good choice here for the sake of mixing things up and that makes for a good dynamic.
Back to back Shatter Machines let the Revival stand tall to end the show. I can’t stand them (triple threats, not the Revival) but this better set up a triple threat tag match for the titles at Takeover.
Overall Rating: B. Fifty minutes go by and we seem to have two title matches set up for Takeover. In two or three weeks we’ll likely have the NXT Title match and you can probably pencil in either Young vs. Dillinger or a big tag match as well. This show flew by and gave us some good wrestling as a bonus while setting up the big card. Good stuff all around, as usual.
Results
Patrick Clark b. Sean Maluta – Fameasser
Asuka b. Peyton Royce – Asuka Lock
DIY b. Authors of Pain via DQ when Revival interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania I: At Least It’s Not The Colossal Tussle
I had to get here eventually and it feels great to be back. These shows are the first reviews I ever did as I thought it would be fun to look back at every show leading up to Wrestlemania XXXIII. Little did I know that I would spend four years doing them and wind up going on to do every major PPV of all time. That’s appropriate as this is the birth of the modern PPV (Yes Starrcade came first and no, it wasn’t the same kind of show. Well not at first at least) and the biggest event in wrestling.
Wrestlemania started off as little more than a house show with mainstream press. Fueled by the Rock N Wrestling Connection which saw wrestlers appearing in pop and rock music videos (thanks to the rise of MTV), the show was the follow up to a pair of shows called the Brawl to End it All and the War to Settle the Score.
The show, featuring Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up in the main event, was a smash hit and has since spawned an unthinkable 32 followup editions. Wrestlemania paved the way for the modern day pay per view and is by far the biggest show of the year for the WWE. We’re going to examine these shows one at a time and one per day until we reach Wrestlemania XXXIII this year in Orlando. Let’s get to it.
Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
We begin here at a show that certainly won’t be like the rest of these. This show is far more about the spectacle than the major matches which is shown in the main event. Our big match tonight is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Paul Orndorff and Roddy Piper in a grudge match. Yeah the first show doesn’t even have the world title on the line. Today, there are at least two world title matches per show. Anyway, this is where it all began so let’s get to it.
The opening video is a bunch of shots of New York City with the WWF logo and some pictures of the wrestlers coming in later. The celebrities for tonight’s show (headlined by Muhammad Ali) are also shown.
Here’s Mean Gene to sing the Star Spangled Banner.
Tito Santana says he’s ready for the undefeated Executioner and he’s going to teach the newcomer a thing or two about the big leagues.
The Executioner says he’s going after Santana’s injured leg. So much for secrecy.
Tito Santana vs. Executioner
Executioner is Buddy Rose (of Blow Away fame) under a mask. Tito is WAY over here in MSG so he was a good choice to open things up. We start with a crisscross before Tito dropkicks Executioner out to the floor. Back in and Santana hooks a headlock to take Executioner to the mat as we’re still waiting on that promised leg work. Tito charges into a boot in the corner and Executioner takes him down with a knee to the ribs. A spinning toe hold is easily escaped so Executioner goes after the other leg. So which one is injured in the first place?
Tito shrugs him off and the masked guy hides in the corner. Since it’s a corner that Tito is looking straight at, the hiding doesn’t go all that well and Tito slugs him down. Executioner comes back with a slam and goes up, only to be slammed right back down. A Santana splash hits knees though and we get to the knee work. That work consists of one cannonball down onto it before Tito kicks him to the floor. Back in and the forearm sets up the Figure Four to make Santana the first winner in the history of Wrestlemania.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t too bad and the crowd reacted well to Santana, but Executioner was just a guy there to be evil. For an opening match this was a pretty good idea but for a match in general it was pretty lame stuff. Then again they have no idea what they’re doing at this point so it’s understandable.
S.D. Jones says he’s ready for King Kong Bundy. I see why I’ve never heard him talk other than this show. He’s going to get down for Bundy.
Bundy says Jones needs to be ready for the Avalanche and the five count.
S. D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy
Here’s an infamous one. Jones is a guy from the old days who is here to make the fans feel good I guess. The match lasts 23 seconds with Bundy shoving Jones into the corner, splashing him three times and getting the pin. According to the WWF the time was 9 seconds, which doesn’t even make bad sense for them.
Matt Borne, the future Doink the Clown, says he’s ready to beat a worldwide star in Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat’s problem is that he’s too nice of a guy. That’s likely true.
Steamboat says this is the biggest card ever and he’s here to develop his meanness. You don’t hear this often, but Steamboat failed miserably in that regard.
Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat
Borne is the Maniac so I have another name to use. Steamboat is looking chiseled here. I’ve never seen him so ripped up and it’s a strange look on him. Also he isn’t called the Dragon yet which is even odder to hear. Ricky speeds things up to start and chops Borne down before hitting a chinlock only about 40 seconds in.
Off to a headlock instead with Steamboat backflipping over Borne twice with the second time resulting in an atomic drop. Back to the headlock which is shifted into a front facelock but Borne comes back with a snap suplex for two. Ricky is like dude I’m Ricky Steamboat and suplexes Borne down, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. A shoulder block puts Borne down and the cross body ends this near squash clean.
Rating: D+. Eh it’s Steamboat in the 80s so how bad can this be? Ricky wasn’t a huge star yet but he was rapidly becoming known as something special. It would be another year or so before he started tearing the house down on a regular basis and started having his masterpieces. Borne would be a lot better when he had a gimmick to go with his skills.
The Sammartinos are ready for Johnny V and Brutus Beefcake. Bruno threatens Johnny V is he tries to get involved.
David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake
Sammartino was the son of a legend and had a good way into the business as a result. He had a good look on top of that, but he had one thing holding him back: he had no talent. His “career” was really just a way to keep Bruno around for a few more years to draw in some extra crowds and that’s the only reason this match is happening. Beefcake is new at this point and is nowhere near what he would become so this is going to be pretty bad.
David’s height doesn’t help him either as he’s about 5’8 or so. They head to the mat to start and Brutus has to bail to the floor for a breather. Back in and Sammartino takes it right back to the mat with a front facelock. A legdrop to the arm has Beefcake in trouble and it’s time to talk to the managers a bit. Beefcake comes back with a headlock takeover but David grabs the legs to work them over a bit.
Off to a leg lock as we keep things very basic so far. Brutus fights up with his leg seeming fine all of a sudden. He drops some forearms to David’s back and there’s a hard whip into the corner by Beefcake. David comes back with a backdrop and they slug it out a bit. Sammartino strikes like his daddy. A suplex gets two for David but Brutus sends him to the floor. The managers get into a fight and both guys run in for a double DQ.
Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s a competitive match and not completely terrible, but the problem is how low level of quality this was. Neither guy was terrible but you could tell they were trying which makes a big difference. This could have been WAY worse but it just wasn’t that good in the first place.
I forgot to mention how the interviews are being done. Alfred Hayes is standing in the entrance with the ring behind him as the guys come by him for their matches. The interviews are recorded earlier in the day though so it’s kind of odd.
Anyway Valentine says he’s tough and leaner than usual.
JYD says he’s going to take a bite out of Valentine. So he’s promising to cheat? Good to know.
Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine
Dog cranks on the arm to start and punches him in the shoulder ala Marciano. A punch to the face takes Valentine down and a headbutt sends the champion (Greg in case you’re not familiar with this era) to the floor. Valentine tries his luck at the arm now and pounds away with some forearms to the back of the head. I’m not sure if that should hurt the Dog or not.
The champion goes after the leg now with what looks to be the start of a half crab but he never turns Dog over. A kind of DDT on the leg has the Dog in trouble again and there’s a headbutt between the legs. Dog breaks up the Figure Four and hits a headbutt to stagger the champ some more. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere but Dog causes Valentine to blast him in the head instead. Valentine grabs a fast rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.
Rating: D+. I’m getting tired of using that rating but this is what the matches keep coming out as: not terrible but nothing good at all. Valentine would get back to his current feud with Tito Santana very soon with the title changing hands pretty soon if I remember properly. Dog was there as more of a fun character than a serious threat so this was fine.
Speaking of Santana, here he is to tell the referee what happened. The referee restarts the match but Valentine walks out for the countout without ever getting back in. That’s just building Santana vs. Valentine for later.
Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff say their countries are better than America. Where’s my pitchfork when I need to run freaks like these off?
The US Express say they’re ready.
Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik
The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.
Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.
A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.
Sheik and Volkoff said they’ve proven their superiority now.
Intermission which is edited out of the home video releases.
Big John Studd says he’ll slam Andre and keep the money.
Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant
This is a bodyslam challenge with some special stipulations: if Andre wins, he gets $15,000 but if Studd wins, Andre has to retire. Studd charges in to start but is immediately chopped back and he bails to the floor. Back in and Andre punches him in the head and rams him in the corner with all of his weight. Studd goes for a slam and Andre is just like dude please. The fans chant for a slam as Andre puts on a bearhug. That goes on for a good while until Andre shifts over to a facelock. Apparently if this goes to the time limit, Andre has to retire. Andre kicks at the leg for a bit and casually slams Studd for the win. It’s as quick as it sounds.
Rating: D. This was pretty terrible but the fans loved Andre and he had to be on here. Also this was part of a big feud as Andre and Studd cut Andre’s hair a few weeks before this. The match was pretty weak but then again what are you going to expect from these two guys with Andre’s body starting to fail on him.
Andre hands a few bucks out to the fans but Heenan steals the bag and runs off.
Andre says he doesn’t care about the money because he’s better than Studd and now he’s proven it. He isn’t retiring anytime soon either.
Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter want Wendi’s title back. Richter is MAD here and has a nearly man’s voice.
Moolah and Lelani Kai are ready to keep the title.
Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter
The big deal here is that Cyndi Lauper, pop superstar of her day, is in Richter’s corner. Moolah, as in the woman who cost Richter the title a few weeks ago, is in Kai’s corner. The camera is on a wide shot for the start of Richter’s music (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) and the whole crowd literally gets up at once. Cool visual. For reasons that continue to elude me, the slow motion shot of Richter and Lauper running through the back and into the arena is a famous clip.
They both pull hair to start and we’re clearly in a normal women’s match here. By that I mean neither girl is that good in the ring and their moves are really overblown. Richter cranks on the arm for a bit until Kai pulls her hair to take over. Now the champion works on the arm for a bit and Richter is in trouble. More hair pulling ensues until Richter puts on a body scissors.
Kai charges into a boot in the corner and Richter shoves the referee away like a jerk. Moolah chokes away at Wendi in the corner until Lauper comes over to make the save. Richter hits a kind of reverse AA and a splash for two. Lelani hits a backbreaker for two before going up for a cross body, only to have Wendi roll through for the pin and the title.
Rating: D. These two just didn’t work that well, but that would be the case for almost any women’s match back in the 80s. The girls were out there basically for a spectacle or in this case the pop culture connection that was driving the era. Richter was a HUGE star at this point, occasionally main eventing house shows when Hogan was in another city.
Richter and Lauper dance around the ring in celebration in another semi-famous scene.
Richter and Lauper celebrate in the back as well.
We introduce the celebrities for the main event. The guest ring announcer is Billy Martin, former manager of the Yankees. He introduces Liberace as guest timekeeper, accompanied by four Rockettes. They all get in the ring and do the famous kicks which you’ll see in the occasional highlight package. The guest referee is someone you may have heard of: Muhammad Ali. Jose Torres, another boxer, is on the floor as well.
Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff
Piper comes out with the full New York Pipe and Drums band while Hogan and T come out to Eye of the Tiger. Advantage Hogan/T. Piper and Orndorff have Bob Orton as their second while Hogan/T have Jimmy Snuka. Advantage Hogan/T. This is looking kind of one sided isn’t it? Oh and Pat Patterson is the inside referee while Ali is the outside referee. The heels all hug and we’re ready to go.
Orndorff and Hogan get things going but Piper tags in before there’s any contact. Therefore T wants to fight Piper and they immediately head to the mat. T and Piper do some amateur stuff and T actually lasts long enough for a standoff. We get some staring until T hooks Piper in an airplane spin. Everything breaks down and Ali gets in to help break it up. Orton and Snuka try to get in as well but Ali glares Orton down.
Things break down again and the heels get rammed together until we get down to Hogan vs. Piper. Hulk rams Piper’s head into the mat over and over until it’s back to T. Hogan offers his knee as something to ram Piper’s head into and it’s back to the champion to send Piper to the outside. Orndorff jumps Hogan from behind and knocks him outside where Roddy blasts him with a chair.
Paul chokes away from the apron until T charges in for the save. Pat Patterson has to pull T off and you know he enjoys this in some way. A double atomic drop puts Hogan down and Orndorff hits a vertical suplex. Roddy comes back in to get in his punches and knee shots followed by an Orndorff top rope elbow to the back of Hulk’s neck for two. Paul goes up again but misses the knee drop and there’s the hot tag to T.
Orndorff and T brawl on the mat for a bit until Mr. gets in trouble via a Piper front facelock. That goes nowhere though as T stands up and makes the tag with no effort to be seen. Hogan pounds away but walks into a belly to back suplex. Orton and Snuka get in the ring for no apparent reason and as the referee calms things down, Orton comes in off the top with the cast but hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin.
Rating: B-. Is it great? Not even close, but the point of this match was the crowd reacting to it rather than the match itself. It’s easily the best match of the night and while the only question coming into tonight was who was getting the fall. This was exactly what the fans wanted and that’s what this was supposed to be about. Nice main event here.
Piper and Orton bail but the good guys let Orndorff leave without beating on him even more.
We recap the ending of the main event.
Hogan, T and Snuka talk about winning.
Credits end the show. That’s a sign of the past.
Overall Rating: D+. First and foremost let me make something clear: the overall rating for this show means jack because the whole thing was there for the spectacle and the matches were an afterthought other than the main event. This show was a huge success and kickstarted what is known as the Golden Era, so I don’t think you can call it anything but a good show. It’s also on the list of shows that every fan has to see at least once, just so they can say they’ve seen it. Not great quality, but incredible historical significance.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
So many wrestlers write their life stories and would make you think that they’re the greatest wrestlers of all time. In Luger’s case though, it’s much more along the lines of “I was a great athlete, I was in awesome shape, and I won some titles.” That’s a very rare case of a wrestler being realistic about his skills and not spending two hundred pages bragging about how amazing they were.
The book is a pretty straightforward guided tour of Luger’s life and career with an especially detailed look at his journey to becoming a born again Christian. In this case though it’s not like Bill Watts, who basically beat you over the head with it. With Luger, it’s basically “My life sucked, I did a bunch of stupid things, God helped me get through it and I’m a Christian. Here’s how you can be one too if you’re interested because it’s awesome.”
It doesn’t really offer any major insight into Luger’s life as it’s basically just his life story. It’s a very easy read though and I knocked it out in a few days while doing a bunch of other stuff. His fans will like it but there’s nothing really groundbreaking and it’s not that high up on the list of great wrestling books.