Looking at why having two more pay per views between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania is wasting the Rumble.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-royal-rumble-thing/

Smackdown
Date: February 7, 2017
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the last show before Elimination Chamber because this is that annoying period where we have all these pay per views in the span of a few weeks. The card seems to already be set in stone, making tonight about the hard sell rather than about adding much of anything new. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video on Randy Orton vs. John Cena as the rivalry is renewed again tonight.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going in the only logical move. It feels good to be home but above all else, Bryan is grateful that he’s going to be a dad very soon. Cue Miz and Maryse to cut him off though and the heat is outstanding. During the entrance, Mauro makes a rare mistake by saying Sunday will be Miz’s second time inside the Cell instead of the Chamber.

Miz is an unsympathetic as you would expect him to be and suggests Bryan to be a stay at home dad since he can’t wrestle. Bryan: “Not being able to wrestle never kept you out of a ring.” The crowd gets into a shouting contest with Miz but here’s Baron Corbin to cut them both off.

Miz pitches an alliance but Corbin thinks he could knock Miz out right now. Bryan: “Oh no Baron. Please don’t punch Miz in the face. That would be terrible.” Cue Dean Ambrose to say he doesn’t sweat any of these people because he’s going to make some bad decisions inside the Chamber. Now it’s AJ Styles to cut them off but the fans cheer for him instead of the intended reaction. Bryan makes a four way for fun.

Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. AJ Styles

Non-title. Miz heads to the floor to start and his attempt at sneaking up on Ambrose fails completely. AJ’s springboard is broken up but Corbin sends Dean into the steps to put him down again. Back in and Miz starts doing Bryan kicks to AJ and Ambrose but it turns into a battle of rollups between everyone not named Corbin. Baron and Dean clothesline each other down and we take a break.

Back with a four man Tower of Doom giving us crowd reaction shots and near falls. Deep Six gets two on Miz but AJ’s basement forearm gets the same on Baron. Miz gives AJ the running knee but it’s time for Dean to clean house with whatever he can come up with, including sending Miz into the barricade and Corbin into the post. Back in and AJ hits his moonsault into the reverse DDT on Dean with Miz diving in for the save. Now the Forearm connects on Miz, only to have Maryse make a save. End of Days gives Baron the pin on AJ at 12:57.

Rating: B. Now that works. Corbin getting the win is a surprise and it’s not like Styles is going to lose a lot of face with the loss here. Above all else though I’m glad Ambrose didn’t get pinned because we’re actually protecting a champion for a change. Good action here and that’s what matters most.

Luke Harper says Orton stole his family but he knows how to fix things. That means a beating at Elimination Chamber, though it’s not clear if that’s an official match.

Natalya and Nikki Bella come in for a satellite interview. Nikki doesn’t think they can ever be friends anymore and Natalya goes into her standard “Nikki is awful” rant. They argue over who is more bitter and Nikki’s big insult is that the only thing Natalya has ever been good at is wrestling. Natalya says that when Nikki is old and banged up, Cena isn’t going to take care of her and will move on. If Natalya wasn’t married, it would be moving on to someone like her. Nikki walks out.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is extra aggressive here as he scores with an early dropkick and sends Ziggler into the corner. Ziggler sends him into the post though and hits the running DDT, only to have his superkick countered into a rollup for the pin at 1:02.

Ziggler beats Crews down post match and hits him in the back with a chair. Kalisto runs out for the save, only to get chaired down as well.

Post break, Ziggler is put in a handicap match against Kalisto and Crews on Sunday. What kind of face/heel psychology is that supposed to be?

Here are Mickie James, Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch and Naomi for a four way contract signing. Mickie talks about having more experience than all four of them combined and tells Renee Young to get out of the ring. It seems that Becky is trying to erase Mickie from history and take the credit for the Women’s Revolution. Without Mickie James, there is no Becky Lynch so it all ends Sunday.

Mickie signs so Becky says James walked away when it got too tough. This Sunday she’s walking through Mickie with straight fire which is all she is. Now Becky signs so Alexa laughs at the idea of Becky being anything but full of orange hair dye. Alexa talks about class and signs while saying she can beat Naomi on Sunday. Naomi says she can beat Alexa and talks about Wrestlemania being in her hometown. That means she’s going to slide down the aisle (yes slide) as Smackdown Women’s Champion. The brawl breaks out and the villains run away.

American Alpha/Heath Slater/Rhyno/Breezeango vs. Vaudevillains/Ascension/Usos

Gable suplexes English down to start but a few rakes of the eyes put Chad in trouble. Aiden misses a Swanton Bomb and it’s time for Alpha to clean house. Breeze tags himself in though and Breezango cleans house, only to have the good guys get in an argument as we take a break.

Back with Slater in trouble and Viktor tagging himself in for a chinlock. The Vaudevillains and Ascension get in an argument though, allowing the hot tag to Rhyno to blow the roof off the place. Everything breaks down and Jordan launches Gable onto a pile at ringside. Back in and the Gore hits Konnor, only to have Viktor hit a middle rope knee for the pin on Rhyno at 9:46.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t any time to really make this work but it’s so cute that WWE wants us to believe Ascension could win something on Sunday. I’m not sure if Alpha retains the titles on Sunday but I’m certain that Ascension isn’t getting the belts. This was fine enough to get the point across but you knew no one was going to get to show off here.

Rock N Roll Express Hall of Fame video.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. They slug it out to start with Orton taking over and kicking Cena in the ankle. Bray watches from the corker as Cena is sent out in front of him for another right hand to the face. Back with Cena taking a full nelson slam but still being able to send Orton outside. It’s too early for the AA though and Orton drops him back first onto the announcers’ table.

Back in and Cena hits the usual, including the AA for two. An Elevated DDT out of the corner sets up the RKO for Orton’s near fall, though at least they waited a bit in between. Another RKO is shrugged off into a ref bump, allowing Wyatt to come in for the double beatdown. Cue Harper for the save and the discus lariat on Wyatt. An RKO attempt doesn’t work and the AA puts Orton down at 13:38.

Rating: C+. As tiresome as this match is, it still works better than a lot of combinations. Cena needed a win here to go into the pay per view and it’s not like Orton has a big match coming up or anything like that. This was all it needed to be and felt like the match you would have expected given the circumstances. Harper’s full face turn moment is a good idea but I’m not sure about where to take him next, especially after he loses on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C+. This show came and went while plugging the pay per view. If that sounds like a really basic and simple idea, you’re starting to catch on. I’m having a hard time remembering a lot of what happened on this show as it completely flew in one ear and out the other. It’s not terrible or anything but there definitely isn’t a lot of fire going into Sunday.

Results

Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose and Miz – End of Days to Styles

Apollo Crews b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup

Ascension/Vaudevillains/Usos b. American Alpha/Heath Slater/Rhyno/Breezango – Knee to the chest to Rhyno

John Cena b. Randy Orton – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 2017
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s that time of the year when just talking about a match in about two months is a big deal. In this case that means Goldberg is back to answer Brock Lesnar’s challenge for a match at Wrestlemania XXXIII, which is likely main eventing the show in April. Other than that we might get a few more details about what’s coming up in about a month at Fastlane. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH’s speech from last week about how tired he is of Seth Rollins not doing what he wanted Rollins to do. HHH blames this whole thing on Rollins getting hurt (the first time).

Stephanie McMahon and an unhappy Mick Foley are in the ring to start with Foley bringing out Samoa Joe, much to his annoyance. Joe hasn’t signed his Raw contract yet but first of all we need Stephanie to yell at Mick for not doing his job (whatever that means here). Foley doesn’t want to sign Joe, who goes on a rant about how there is nothing Foley can do to stop him.

For eighteen years Joe has been trying to get here and if one man giving him a shot means he has to hurt Rollins, so be it. Joe signs and here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Roman gets in Joe’s face and says that if Joe is putting Raw on notice, that means he’s putting Roman on notice. Foley immediately makes the match for tonight.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bayley goes right after her to start and literally bounces off the monster. That means it’s time for the slow beating to begin, including a hard slam and a lot of shouting. Nia misses a charge into the corner though and Bayley fires off some forearms, only to get sent even harder into the corner to send us to a break.

Back with Bayley fighting out of a waistlock and forearming Nia in the jaw. Another beal into the corner sets up a running splash though and Nia mocks Bayley’s dancing. Nia turns her inside out with a clothesline but misses a charge into the post. Bayley sends her in again but here’s Charlotte for a distraction, allowing Nia to Samoan drop Bayley for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C. I know they’re doing a very similar formula to what worked for Bayley down in NXT but that’s not going to work in such an abbreviated form, especially with so much else to focus on. Bayley hasn’t quite clicked on Raw yet but you know she’s going to get the title at some point. The question is when that’s going to be the case.

Braun Strowman vs. ???/???/???/???

It’s back to the old formula here as Strowman runs over everyone in sight, sending one of the four running up the ramp. The running powerslam plants one of them and the other two are piled on top for the pin at 1:54.

Strowman tells Foley this isn’t competition and heads to the back to find the boss. In the back, Strowman says he wants everyone so Foley gives him a match with Reigns at Fastlane.

Video on Akira Tozawa.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

The announcers make sure to plug Tozawa’s resume so it’s clear he’s going to be a big deal. Some early strikes have Gulak in trouble and a backsplash (WAY too popular anymore) gets two. Gulak’s comeback goes nowhere as Tozawa kicks him to the floor for a suicide dive. A Shining Wizard sets up the snap German suplex to end Gulak at 3:40.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but it made Tozawa look like the killer he needs to be. This could be a hint that Tozawa is going to be one of the next challengers for Neville’s Cruiserweight Title and I’ve heard far worse ideas. The cruiserweights are starting to come together and that’s a good thing all around, especially if it gives us something like Tozawa vs. Neville. Gulak is fine as a punching bag but PLEASE don’t try to make him any kind of a focal point.

Post match Brian Kendrick comes out to shake Tozawa’s hand.

Here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho with something to say. Owens brags about retaining the Universal Title but Jericho had something more important to get to. Last night someone won a little game and that means they’ve been calling themselves the G.O.A.T. No one steals Jericho’s name so Tom Brady JUST MADE THE LIST.

With that out of the way, Jericho wants to talk about a champion vs. champion match at Wrestlemania when he challenges Owens for the Universal Title. Owens doesn’t know if he can do that but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg gets straight to the point and accepts the match with Lesnar at Wrestlemania. Kevin likes this idea because Goldberg vs. Lesnar could be a great undercard match for KO Mania II.

That’s not quite what Goldberg meant though because Owens doesn’t have anything for Fastlane. Therefore, maybe Goldberg should get the next shot at the Universal Title. Jericho interrupts and threatens Goldberg with a spot on the list but Goldberg puts himself on it. That makes Jericho accepts the shot for Owens, who certainly isn’t pleased.

In theory this sets up Owens vs. Jericho, but at the same time it also likely means Goldberg gets the title. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he squashes Owens either, which is another great salute to someone who has spent months being awesome, only to get taken down by someone who doesn’t need the title for their Wrestlemania match.

Post break Owens isn’t happy with Jericho but Chris says he always has Kevin’s back. That’s not enough though because having his back doesn’t mean making matches for the Universal Title.

Tag Team Titles; Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Gallows and Anderson

Gallows and Anderson are defending with Enzo and Big Cass watching at ringside. Sheamus takes over on Anderson to start before Cesaro comes in with an ax handle to the shoulder. A Regal Roll into a double stomp from Cesaro gets two so the champs regroup on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting back and getting two off a top rope clothesline. The assisted Irish Curse gets two on Anderson but Gallows kicks Enzo in the face, drawing Cass in for the DQ at 9:00.

Rating: C-. THAT MEANS THIS FEUD GETS TO CONTINUE! WHY IS THIS FEUD CONTINUING??? I’m so sick of these teams fighting as there’s just no chemistry or charisma anywhere to be found. Maybe Enzo and Cass being added in could help things out a bit but sweet goodness this isn’t interesting so far. Fix this up already because it’s killing any show they’re on.

Black History Month video on Jackie Robinson.

We look back at Rollins being attacked last week. Rollins has a torn MCL and his Wrestlemania status is “very much in doubt”.

New Day vs. Shining Stars

Before the match, Kofi wants to know who has actually been to the Shining Stars Resort. That would be no one, because it’s not real. New Day gives people what they want, including magic, music (via Francesca II: Turbo) and cereal. Big E.: “What else can we give them? ICE CREAM???”

This is joined in progress after a break with Woods hitting a splash for two on Primo until an enziguri knocks Xavier into a Russian legsweep. We hit the chinlock for a long while, followed by a top wristlock for a change of pace. Woods fights back and gets in a missile dropkick, allowing the hot tag off to Big E. Everything breaks down and New Day cleans house, setting up the Midnight Hour for the pin at Primo at 5:48.

Rating: C. I’ve seen far worse six minute tag matches and that’s fine for a way to fill in some time on a show like this. New Day hasn’t done much of value since the title loss and I’d love to see them go somewhere. Unfortunately I’m not sure what there is for them to do other than go after singles gold.

Goldberg vs. Owens is official for Fastlane.

Jericho doesn’t think Sami Zayn can defeat him two weeks in a row. Kevin comes in to say he’ll have Jericho’s back.

The Rock N Roll Express are official for the Hall of Fame.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is challenging and Owens is at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Sami grabbing a rollup for two which sends Jericho out to the floor. Back in and Sami’s high crossbody gets two on the champ but it’s way too early for the Helluva Kick. Instead Jericho bails to the floor, meaning it’s time for a big flip dive to put Chris down.

We come back from a break with Jericho getting his head taken off with a clothesline. Another Helluva Kick attempt is countered into the Walls but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. One day that’s going to win a match and the roof is going to come off the place. Sami’s tornado DDT is countered into the Walls but he’s right in front of the ropes. Owens throws in a superkick though and the Codebreaker retains the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was fine though I’m glad Sami didn’t win the title. He needs to get one someday but at the moment, this was the right way to keep things going. Eventually they can pull the trigger and set up Owens vs. Jericho but they’ll probably wait until after Fastlane, which isn’t the worst idea in the world.

We look at Goldberg challenging Owens earlier tonight.

Sasha Banks is getting her knee looked at when Charlotte comes in to mock her for not even having her health. Charlotte promises to keep a seat open for Banks next week when her best friend gets a shot at the title.

Austin Aries is in the ring for an interview with Neville. With Rich Swann out with an injury, it’s time for a new #1 contender to be crowned. As luck would have it, there’s going to be a five way elimination match between Jack Gallagher, Noam Dar, Cedric Alexander, Tony Nese and TJ Perkins in a five way elimination match for the #1 contendership. Neville doesn’t care who he faces so here are all five challengers to interrupt each other while saying they’ll win. A big brawl breaks out with Neville being the last man standing, mainly because he’s one of the only ones who didn’t try a big dive.

Emmalina debuts next week.

Neville/Noam Dar/Tony Nese vs. Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins

Joined in progress as we come back with Gallagher taking a snap suplex from Neville. Nese grabs a front facelock but has to stop for the sake of forearming Perkins and Alexander off the apron. Gallagher gets in a headbutt to put Nese down so Neville demands Dar allow him to take the tag. Apparently Dar isn’t the best listener though as he tags himself in, only to have the also tagged Perkins dropkick him in the face. Neville won’t have any more of this and walks out on his partners, leaving Nese to take the Detonation Kick. A Lumbar Check puts Dar away at 5:05.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it did a decent enough job of setting up tomorrow’s five way. There should be some good action there and that’s what we got here as well. I’m still digging the heck out of Neville with his logical actions as he has no reason to stick around when someone isn’t going to listen to the King’s orders.

Jericho pitches an idea for next week: the Festival of Friendship. Owens is skeptical but goes along with it.

We look at Reigns and Samoa Joe from earlier.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Cole says this is a new Chamber but doesn’t elaborate. What sloppy journalism.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Joe jumps Reigns before the bell and Reigns is in trouble as we take a break with no bell. Back with the bell ringing and Reigns taking it to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Joe comes right back with an enziguri and pops Reigns in the jaw with an elbow. A slugout goes to Joe and he drops the backsplash for two more.

You’re not about to keep Reigns in trouble for that long though as he comes back with a Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is loaded up but Joe is smart enough to roll outside. That earns him the apron dropkick and a Superman Punch but here’s Strowman for a distraction. Joe gets back up and hits a Rock Bottom for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C+. That’s the smart ending as you want to make Joe look strong in his debut but you also keep Reigns protected at the same time. The match was little more than a power brawl but that’s what both guys do best. The Strowman distraction was the right call and the match at Fastlane could be interesting as well.

Post match Strowman cleans house and powerslams Reigns through the barricade to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this better than most shows because, for once, it wasn’t so much about the in ring product. Sometimes it gets annoying to have long matches for the sake of having long matches but this week was more about setting up stuff for the future, especially Fastlane. The wrestling was perfectly acceptable this week but the important part was knocking out a bunch of stuff that they need to get done with a month before the next pay per view. Totally fine show this week and a nice upgrade over recent weeks if memory serves me right.

Results

Nia Jax b. Bayley – Samoan drop

Braun Strowman b. ???/???/???/??? – Running powerslam

Akira Tozawa b. Drew Gulak – German suplex

Anderson and Gallows b. Sheamus/Cesaro via DQ when Big Cass interfered

New Day b. Shining Stars – Midnight Hour to Primo

Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn – Codebreaker

Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins b. Tony Nese/Noam Dar/Neville – Lumber Check to Dar

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns – Rock Bottom

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Just…..wow.  This has been floating around for a bit and if this is the case, I have no idea where we are on a lot of these things.  Here it is with a thought or two per match.

WWE Universal Championship
Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

Someone explain to me why this is the main event and for a title.  Please, someone tell me why that’s what we need.  I can almost buy this as the main event (assuming Goldberg can go more than five minutes) but why in the world does this need to be for the title?  Does the winner really need to take the title on hiatus for weeks at a time?  That’s their best idea?

WWE Championship
Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

If this happens, Wyatt better win.  Orton doesn’t need this and Wyatt is considered a choker so let him defend the title here and eventually drop it to someone over the summer.  This should be a layup so I don’t buy it happening, unfortunately.

RAW Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Again, this should be a layup (as well as a singles match but WE MUST GO FOUR WAYS!) and by that I mean…..actually it should be Sasha turning heel and getting the big title win, setting up Bayley with the big singles win around Summerslam.  I know people want to see Bayley win the title here but she’s not ready yet.

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker

This is one of two schools of thought.  If they try to have Reigns go in as the mega face, it doesn’t matter who wins because Reigns will be blown into the Atlantic by the booing.  If they have Reigns as the heel monster who spears old man Undertaker over and over until he can’t get up anymore, I’m sold like Hercules to DiBiase.

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

If they just absolutely have to do this (and they clearly do because it’s HHH at Wrestlemania), please don’t screw it up by having it go half an hour.  This is nowhere near as big a match as WWE seems to think it is but it seems to be what we’re getting, assuming Seth can walk again.  I’ve heard rumors of Shane McMahon replacing Seth if he can’t go but either way, HHH needs to go down here.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

I could go for this being for the US Title and all they have to do is have Jericho put Owens on the List for some reason.  This is the match that should happen, has been planned for months and needs to take place by schedule.  Stop messing with the good ideas you have and everything will be fine.

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon

Of all the matches on the card, I think this one makes me madder than all the rest.  AJ had one of the best years in company history but for some reason he’s stuck babysitting the boss at Wrestlemania.  The match will have some big spots and entertaining moments but how much praise do you think AJ is going to get for it?  This is going to be the Shane McMahon Show and that’s a very sad moment for AJ.

John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse

BRING BACK SHANE!  Word on the street says this is Nikki’s last match with Cena possibly proposing after the match.  You know, because WRESTLEMANIA needs to be a Nikki Bella night.  Cena isn’t going to be around much longer and now we get to hear about how Nikki has just overcome so much and how she’s earned all this and should get her happiness or whatever, because somewhere along the line she because Trish Stratus and Lita combined.  I can’t stand this for everyone involved as they all, save for Nikki that is, deserve so, so much better.

The Big Show vs. Shaquille O’Neal

You knew this one was going to happen and while that doesn’t make it much better, it’s still the case.  This is going to eat up about fifteen minutes with all the introductions and pre-match shenanigans and that’s fine really.  It’s going to come and go with no one remembering it so let’s get it over with and worry about the rest of the show.  I just don’t care enough to get annoyed about it and that’s fine.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

So….this is Ambrose’s spot I suppose.  I mean, it’s not like you could do one last match against Styles or have him defend against Baron Corbin.  While the latter is still a possibility, it seems more likely that they’ll put them both in the battle royal or on the pre-show because Nikki’s proposal needs more time.  I’ll actually take Corbin winning again here, which would be a great idea for him.

This isn’t the strongest card in the world but there’s more to like about it than last year’s show.  At least there’s no reason to believe New Day will lose to the League of Nations again.  I still want to know what was up with that.

Main Event
Date: January 26, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries

Hopefully we can get by without another broken arm. It should be interesting to see where they go with no Darren Young for a change as he’s been the one constant of this show, which isn’t the best idea in the world. It’s also the final show before the Royal Rumble so expect some high quality highlight packages. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Lince Dorado vs. Brian Kendrick

After Aries tells us that Dorado used to be a meringue champion, Kendrick is sent head first into the buckle and then out to the floor. A baseball slide takes Dorado down and we have a jarred knee. Back in and the knee is fine enough for a moonsault press onto Brian for two, followed by a hurricanrana for the same. A springboard Stunner gives Dorado another two but the shooting star hits knee, setting up the Captain’s Hook for the tap at 5:10.

Rating: C+. I was really surprised here but the match was a lot better than I was expecting. Dorado is fine for a generic cruiserweight and his offense was rolling until the end. Kendrick is still very hit or miss and while I’m rarely a fan of someone winning with two offensive moves in a five minute match, this was a very nice match.

To Raw!

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending but Reigns starts fast and knocks him to the floor for a running dropkick. Back from an early break with Owens on commentary and telling Byron to shut up. Naturally we LOOK AT THE ANNOUNCERS’ TABLE TO SEE PEOPLE TALKING while the match is going on. Jericho grabs a chinlock as the announcers pepper Owens about his upcoming title defense.

Ever the arrogant heel, Jericho slaps Reigns in the face a few times so Roman uppercuts him out of the air. The Samoan drop into a rollup is botched so Jericho hammers away, only to have the drop hit a few seconds later. The Superman Punch is countered with a dropkick but the Codebreaker is easily powered away. Now the Superman Punch connects but Owens comes in for the DQ at 9:45.

Rating: C-. This was fine while it lasted and thank goodness they didn’t change the title back already. Owens interfering is fine and thankfully they didn’t have another champ lose all over again. The match wasn’t terrible and Reigns wasn’t entirely booed out of the building so this is one of the better possible outcomes.

Post match Reigns is beaten down but manages to lock Owens in the cage and spear Jericho. Coolish moment I guess, though wouldn’t it make more sense to have Jericho locked in the cage and beat Owens down as a preview for Sunday?

Video on HHH winning the 2002 Royal Rumble.

From Raw again.

Sami Zayn vs. Seth Rollins

Only the winner goes to the Rumble. It’s a feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about how these two used to be friends and even roommates. Neither can get anywhere in the first few minutes so Seth turns it into a fist fight and scores with a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Seth missing the springboard knee and getting caught in the Blue Thunder Bomb so CUE THE CROWD REACTION SHOTS!!!

A Michinoku Driver gets two more on Seth but Rollins runs the corner and throws Sami down for the Blockbuster. Seth grabs the Falcon’s Arrow for two more and a jumping knee to the face just sounds painful. There’s the Sling Blade but Sami reverses the Pedigree into a tornado DDT.

The Helluva Kick misses but Sami backdrops him to the floor for a big crash. Back in and a sunset powerbomb gets two more on Seth, followed by the exploder into the corner. Rollins bails to the apron and manages a Pedigree to knock Sami cold…..and here’s HHH. Or at least his music hits, allowing Sami to small package Rollins at 15:57.

Rating: B-. This match had some of WWE’s greatest hits for stupid ideas, including ALL THE CROWD REACTION SHOTS and that stupid music fake out. I’m looking forward to Wrestlemania but unfortunately it’s so we can get done with this HHH vs. Rollins feud. Why in the world we need to sit around and wait for so many months on this feud isn’t clear but odds are it’s “well, you can’t expect TRIPLE H to lower himself to any other show.”

Shawn Michaels won the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke

Rematch from last week. Brooke hiptosses her down and does a one arm pushup (Aries: “I usually do no arm push-ups.”) but gets headscissored into an armbar. An arm crank sends Dana outside and we take a break. Back with Dana stomping away in the corner and slapping on a bodyscissors. Brooke’s cartwheel moonsault hits knees and Fox gets in the northern lights suplex for two of her own. The ax kick puts Brooke away at 10:10.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as they basically did the exact same thing last week. Fox is in a weird place as she’s talented enough to beat up some of the women but WAY out of her league against the top of the division. Brooke has fallen off a cliff lately and I don’t see a way back up for her at the moment.

One more Raw trip to wrap us up.

Here’s Goldberg for the closing segment. The chants cut him off and Goldberg seems to forget his lines a few times. He finally gets them right by talking about facing twenty nine other men in the Royal Rumble for the right to face Owens or Reigns. Cue Paul Heyman to talk about who Goldberg might be facing on Sunday. It could be Randy Orton, Braun Strowman or even this man: Brock Lesnar. Brock comes out while Heyman keeps talking but Goldberg says get in here. The fight is almost on when the gong strikes. Undertaker shows up and we get the big three way staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to see on this one with the first match being fun but meaningless and the second match being something we saw just last week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill Main Event with the highlights carrying things as far as they’re going to be able to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Main Event
Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Austin Aries, Byron Saxton

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania and hopefully that means Main Event ups its talent for a change. It’s hard to say what we’ll be getting here as it almost always the case, which makes for some interesting shows. Some star power, even in the short term, would be nice around here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sin Cara vs. Bo Dallas

Aries says he’s feeling bo-tivated. I’ll just leave you with that one and move on to Cara armdragging Dallas out of the corner for the first real offense. That earns Cara a neckbreaker and some knees to the back of the head, followed by a chinlock. Back up and Cara sends him to the floor for a suicide dive, followed by a springboard moonsault press for two back inside. The Swanton Bomb gives Cara the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Cara winning over a heavyweight, even one who doesn’t do much, is a good idea as there’s no reason to suggest that someone who has been around for several years would have an issue just because he’s fighting someone a bit heavier than he is.

Video on Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens from Royal Rumble.

From Raw.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Owens is defending and I’ll put the over/under for Reigns interfering at four minutes. Jericho is on commentary and for some reason, Strowman goes over and chokeslams him through the table. Owens bails to the floor at the bell and some right hands have no effect. A dropkick puts Strowman on the floor but he runs Kevin over with ease back inside.

Kevin is knocked into the barricade and this is one sided so far. The way too long charge sends Strowman head first into the post though and Owens adds a Cannonball against the barricade. A backsplash and frog splash give Owens two but Strowman comes back with the powerslam. Cue Reigns though and it’s a DQ at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This might as well have been a big countdown to Reigns coming out and going after Strowman, which is probably one of the top matches at Fastlane. It’s not the most interesting match in the world but if Strowman goes over, it could mean something.

Roman Superman Punches and spears Strowman but Braun pops up.

From Raw again.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman talks about how every legend has an asterisk next to his name because there’s always an exception. Andre the Giant was undefeated for fifteen years until Hulk Hogan beat him. Ronda Rousey was undefeated until she met Holly Holm. People like John Cena and Kurt Angle have amazing legacies but BROCK LESNAR. That leaves Goldberg as the argument against Brock and that must be eradicated. We get to the point: Lesnar wants one more fight with Goldberg at Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil

This is certainly an upgrade. The trio takes over on Epico to start with Kofi kicking him in the chest to set up Big E.’s Warrior splash for two. All six wind up in the ring and New Day puts on a triple abdominal stretch with spankings. Back from a break with Titus coming in off a blind tag and suplexing Woods. It’s off to Primo for a slingshot splash and armbar but Woods enziguris Titus down and it’s Kofi time. The SOS gets two on Primo and everything breaks down. Epico hits the Backstabber on Kofi but a quick Midnight Hour puts Epico away at 10:36.

Rating: C-. Standard six man here and I can even forgive having to sit through Titus against New Day again. It really does help to have someone that the fans care about in a match on this show after all the weeks of Darren Young. The Shining Stars are fine enough in the ring and there’s nothing wrong with being jobbers to the stars.

Video on Seth Rollins’ return from injury.

We’ll wrap it up with this.

Here’s HHH to talk about Rollins. HHH goes over his history with Rollins and takes credit for most of his success. With HHH by his side, Rollins would become the man and the face of the WWE. All Rollins had to do was hold up his end of the bargain but then his knee gave out, which was like spitting in HHH’s face.

Rollins was a failure when he came back because he didn’t take any responsibility for everything falling apart. HHH is the one that deserves an apology because Rollins tried to blame him for everything being a big mess. The reason HHH doesn’t come out here anymore is because he doesn’t want to be the guy that ends careers anymore.

Every day he puts on this suit and ties this tie while trying to be a creator. Every day he tries to create the next Seth Friggin Rollins but now he’s done trying. The jacket and tie come off, drawing a HHH chant. HHH calls Rollins out so here we go….but SAMOA JOE makes his debut and lays Rollins out from behind. Joe annihilates Rollins as HHH leaves. The fans are very happy with Joe as he Koquina Clutches Rollins out to end the show, wrenching Seth’s knee in the process.

Overall Rating: C. I can’t emphasize enough how much it helped to have someone like New Day on this show. They weren’t in any danger and their match didn’t mean anything but it helped so much to have them on the show and doing something instead of the usual old acts. The stuff from Raw helped a lot too, making this one of the better episodes in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2002
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s hard to say what to expect here but hopefully it’s another rocking tag match with some talented people getting to show what they can do instead of jobbing to Undertaker after a former World Champion’s finisher doesn’t have much of an effect. Oh and we get the debut of Crash Holly for reasons I don’t even want to think about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week, which somehow gets to be narrated by Stephanie. Dang they’re getting right to the point this week. Anyway, Undertaker is challenging Brock Lesnar at Unforgiven.

Opening sequence.

Billy vs. Rey Mysterio

A very early Rico distraction (those sideburns are mesmerizing) lets Billy jump Rey and choke in the corner. The tilt-a-whirl powerslam plants Rey and Tazz makes gay jokes. Rey gets in his first offense with a dropkick to the knee so Billy clotheslines his head off, making sure that Mysterio has nothing of note so far. Rico cheats a bit more so the fans are all over him, making Rico the best thing about the match so far. More shots to the back keep Rey in trouble but a springboard dropkick sets up the 619 with Chuck making the save. That means Billy gets to work Rey over even more until Mysterio gets a fluke cradle for the pin.

Rating: D. So Mysterio can go move for move with Kurt Angle in a classic but can barely get in a dropkick on Billy Gunn of all people? This is almost entirely on Billy as he just wasn’t giving Rey anything to work with and it showed horribly. It’s ok to let Mysterio get in a little offense, get taken down, let the comeback go on for a bit and have the co-villains cheat so Rey can do the big comeback at the end. It’s called having a match with a story but this was all about Billy working Rey over without much effort.

Post match Rico tells Chuck it’s time….and he proposes to Billy because he wants to be tag team partners for life. Note that the word “marry”, “husband” or “I love you” are never mentioned. Billy says yes and hugging ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon is challenging after pinning Jamie in some recent tag matches. The battle of wristlockery start things off until Shannon armdrags him down. Nidia grabs a leg but Shannon dropkicks the champ to the floor anyway. Back in and a harder clothesline than you would expect from a cruiserweight match puts Shannon back down and a belly to back gets two.

Of course the fans would rather talk about Nidia’s puppies because Raw featured a match talking about Molly Holly’s hymen, meaning you can’t quite blame them at this point. That’s what WWE has deemed acceptable from its employees so don’t act surprised when no one cares about your matches as a result. Moore elbows him in the jaw and gets a near fall of his own off a neckbreaker. A Whisper in the Wind gets the same but Jamie counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb. The Tiger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: C+. Good match here but the fans didn’t care because WWE has given us no reason to care about them. Just because there’s good wrestling out there, no one is going to notice because WWE has made us care more about the women at ringside. I’m not sure what it means that Nidia is possibly treated with more respect than the women on Raw but it seems to be the case.

Paul Heyman is hyping Brock Lesnar up for his match with Randy Orton when Randy comes up and says absolutely nothing of note.

Edge and Rikishi are ready for a six man tag later and Rikishi actually tries to explain how the Stinkface is a symbol or something. Piece of the Kish still isn’t a good catchphrase.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and one of those matches that would be totally different just a few years later. Also Lesnar is now WWE Champion instead of Undisputed Champion as continuity takes another hit for the sake of pulling a title out of a briefcase. Orton charges straight at him and actually gets two off a rollup. That just means an overhead belly to belly though and Brock is already smiling.

Brock throws him over the top and hits an STO back inside. He throws Orton onto his shoulders and drives Randy back first into the buckle over and over as this is a total squash. Heyman: “HE WANTS THIS!” A dropkick to the ribs staggers Lesnar and Orton gets in the backbreaker. For reasons of general stupidity, he heads up top for the high crossbody but gets rolled through into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C-. Is there something in the water over on Monday Night Raw? You can have Brock roll through people like this on Smackdown but Raw’s big solution is to have him sell for people and need Heyman to save him all the time? Ever since he’s gone to Smackdown he’s been treated like the monster he’s supposed to be and it’s made him a hundred times more interesting.

Mark Henry congratulates Billy and Chuck.

Crash signs his contract and thanks Stephanie when D-Von comes in. The Reverend is upset about Billy and Chuck but again we never heard the word wedding or marriage. He talks about how immoral is it but OF COURSE Stephanie cuts him off for not showing her enough respect. The ceremony is next week, D-Von faces Batista later and just in case you forgot, Stephanie is the most amazing and intimidating person ever.

Tajiri vs. Mark Henry

Tajiri’s kicks and strikes have the effect you would expect them to have and it’s time for the slow beating. The handspring elbow is knocked out of the air and Tajiri’s sunset flip has no effect at all. A running dropkick to the head works a bit better but Henry shrugs it off and powerslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Henry is really strong? Like, REALLY strong? To the point that he can bend frying pans and is barely hurt by someone kicking him really hard in the head? I’m still not sure who is supposed to be impressed by Henry squashing a member of the cruiserweight division, which is often treated as a bunch of second class citizens in the first place.

Stephanie moderates a sitdown interview (in the back without much light) between Undertaker and Lesnar. After making it clear that they’re both EXCLUSIVE to Smackdown, she throws it to Brock who lists off his career accomplishments. Undertaker laughs off the idea of a young pup like Brock beating him because no one has ever taken Brock where Undertaker is taking him. Undertaker promises to beat Brock up for the first time but Heyman makes it personal by bringing up Undertaker’s wife Sara being pregnant.

If anything happens to Undertaker, he’ll take care of Sara but not the unborn child. The table it turned over and nothing happens. This was WAY too long and it really didn’t make me want to see the match any more than I already did. Granted I checked out when Stephanie started talking about how this was a Smackdown exclusive because it might be the least important detail since….oh whatever the name of whatever award/honor Stephanie has most recently won.

Reverend D-Von vs. Batista

Batista has what would be his theme song for years and the red trunks instead of the gray one he had been wearing. D-Von jumps him to start and gets in a quick chair shot, only to take a Batista Bomb for the pin in a minute and a half. The man that pinned John Cena clean last week everyone!

Nidia talks about the wedding next week (using the word for the first time) and asks Jamie if they’ll get married one day. Jamie hugs her and panics.

Matt Hardy brags about going toe to toe with Brock but Shannon isn’t all that impressed. Hardcore Holly, Matt’s opponent tonight, wants to know where the footage of Matt losing has gotten to.

Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle are ready for their six man tag tonight. Angle is annoyed at Benoit for costing him the #1 contendership so Benoit comes in and we have a staredown.

Matt Hardy vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade rollups for two to start before opting to just punch each other in the face. Tazz would rather talk about cheese jokes (Wisconsin remember.) as Holly gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backbreaker sets up a belly to back superplex, only to have Matt knock him away and get two off a moonsault press. The Side Effect gets the same but Holly gets two of his own with a powerbomb. Neither finisher can hit so Hardy grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into another one with Holly grabbing the tights for the pin.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly good match here but I’m not sure I get the point of having Matt lose over and over when he’s getting a push with the Shannon Moore stuff. Holly isn’t great but at least he’s good for a watchable match. Matt can play the heck out of these over the top characters with huge egos and that’s what we’re getting with the Mattitude stuff.

Rico doesn’t have time to talk because he has wedding plans to set up. He’s going to be Billy’s best man.

Crash vs. Hurricane

They circle each other to start until Hurricane puts him in a Tree of Woe for a good crotching. The high crossbody gets two on Crash, followed by the Eye of the Hurricane for the same. Holly misses a charge into the post and takes a super swinging neckbreaker (that’s always looked cool) to put both guys down. The chokeslam is countered into a rollup so Crash can impress Stephanie or whatever.

Rating: D+. So now we’re to the point where we’re jobbing talented guys like the Hurricane to validate Stephanie’s investments? This is a situation where it would have been better to just have Crash show up on Smackdown one night and say he changed brands off camera. There was no need to make this a story other than for the sake of more Stephanie vs. Bischoff nonsense.

Edge/Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

These are the six people from the series of matches last weeks if the reasoning isn’t clear. Rikishi and Angle gets things going and I’ll spare you the normal “why is Rikishi here” question. Thankfully it’s quickly off to Undertaker for a big boot but it’s way too early for a chokeslam. Instead Benoit comes in and kicks away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts.

Rikishi comes back in to far too strong of a pop and gives Benoit a sitout Rock Bottom before throwing him into Angle. Edge gets a slightly weaker pop as he goes after Eddie, who takes over off the strength of some double teaming. The heels keep Edge in trouble with the rapid tags and it’s Angle grabbing a chinlock.

An Edgecution gets Edge out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Rikishi gets in a belly to belly on Angle and superkicks Benoit, leaving Angle to take the Stinkface. Angle and Benoit have a quick collision so Chris puts him in the Crossface. Eddie is furious….and surrounded. The OH NO look on Eddie’s face when he realizes what’s going on is perfect and his trying to chill with Rikishi is even better. The spear sets up Eddie’s face being shoved into the thong, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. If you put Rikishi in some tights or even regular trunks, this doesn’t feel nearly as awkward. They did their thing here with the villains looking slightly more inept than they should. Benoit vs. Angle should be fun but that doesn’t make for the best tag match in the world. Edge has kind of fallen through the cracks in recent weeks and his feud with Eddie needs a boost as they barely interact directly.

Overall Rating: D+. This depends on what you find more important. The wrestling is a little better this week but the booking is atrocious, with things like Crash Holly getting a story, Billy and Chuck’s impending shenanigans, John Cena being sacrificed to D-Von of all people and Hardcore Holly beating Matt Hardy. There’s so much that can be great around here but as usual, WWE seems more interested in doing the least logical and interesting things as possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 750
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re less than two weeks away from King of the Ring and it would be nice to have them actually plug more than one of the first round matches for a change. Other than that we have Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Title coming up but since Hogan can’t be bothered showing up, there’s only so much they can do to set things up. Let’s get to it.

It’s Memorial Day so Jim Duggan welcomes us with a USA chant for all the fallen soldiers.

Opening sequence.

The announcers hype the show a bit and promise a catfight between Luna Vachon and Sensational Sherri.

Intercontinental Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Marty Jannetty

Marty is defending and has Sherri in his corner for a story that almost no one remembers. Bigelow has to break up a battle of the women to start and Marty gets pounded for not paying attention. Serves him right. Marty has to fight out of the corner and lands on his feet to counter a backdrop. We hit the bearhug though and things slow down all over again. Marty comes back with either a middle rope knee to the back of the head or a middle rope headscissors which was partially botched.

We take a break (kind of an awkward place for one) and come back with Jannetty caught in a chinlock. Marty fights up and gets two off a middle rope clothesline but Bigelow shrugs off the jumping back elbow. With nothing else working, Marty tries a front facelock, earning himself that hard slam from Bigelow. A double underhook powerbomb into a backbreaker looks to set up the flying headbutt, only to have Sherri grab Bigelow’s foot. Marty kicks him to the floor for a plancha, setting up the countout to retain.

Rating: C+. Jannetty is a lot better in the ring than he’s given credit for and if he was able to stay clean for more than probably eight days in a row, I’m sure he would have been a bigger deal. It’s not like he was that far behind the other midcard acts of his day. Couldn’t you picture him around the same level as say, Jeff Jarrett?

Bigelow crushes Marty’s ribs before leaving.

Back from a break and Sherri calls Luna out for a fight. Luna comes out and takes a quick beating but Bigelow comes out to make things a bit less even. Tatanka runs out for the save. Wouldn’t Jim Duggan make more sense as he’s facing Bigelow in the tournament?

Steiner Brothers vs. Rich Myers/The Executioner

Rick works on Executioner’s (generic masked jobber) arm to start before whipping him HARD into the corner. One heck of a jumping Steiner Line makes things even worse so it’s off to Myers, whose luck is even worse. Why is it worse you ask? Well that’s because after a few quick holds, Scott gives him a pumphandle slam and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER.

If you’ve never seen that, it’s a vertical suplex but Scott drops them straight down into a sitout Tombstone. It was probably only used about ten times because people are scared to death of taking the thing (understandable) but DANG it looks great. Even the New York fans were impressed by that. The Steiner Bulldog wraps up the body that used to be Myers.

Rating: D+. The more I watch the Steiners, the more impressed I am by them. They just maul people like they’re nothing and it’s one of the most entertaining things you’ll ever get to see. That Screwdriver looked perfect and it’s still one of the best finishers, or at least the most devastating. Just fun all around here, unless you’re Myers.

Mr. Hughes vs. Bert Centeno

For the sake of simplicity, just imagine every power move you would expect to see in a squash and Hughes uses it here. A Boss Man Slam wraps it up in very short order.

King of the Ring Report with nothing new to talk about.

Jim Duggan vs. Mark Thomas

Jim runs him over, does a very rare suplex and finishes with the three point clothesline. Just a squash.

Post match Duggan leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.

The 1-2-3 Kid can’t believe he’s here and can’t believe he’s been offered $5,000 to face Razor Ramon again (upgraded from $2,500). He still won’t do it though.

Razor Ramon vs. Tony Roy

The fans chant 1-2-3 with Savage leading the people. Roy rolls a distracted Ramon up for two and it’s time for the beating to begin. The all away slam gets two and Ramon puts on a leg trap chinlock. It’s off to an abdominal stretch, followed by the super belly to back suplex and the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: C-. I can go for a ticked off Ramon hurting small people who dare to annoy him. Ramon is big enough to make the power moves look good but he’s not big enough to be considered a giant. That’s a rare physical type and something that can be turned into something special, which Ramon certainly was.

Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna come out to say Memorial Day should be June 13 because it’s the day Hulkamania will die. At least I think that’s what they’re saying because they have to talk over the HOGAN SUCKS chants. Duggan pops up in the balcony to wave the American flag as we wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. Just a night of squashes as we’re completely out of things to talk about before the pay per view. That’s the danger of running a tournament as there’s not much to talk about because for some reason they seem to think the tournament itself is more than enough to carry the whole thing. Boring show here, but check out the Screwdriver.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 24, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Something tells me this one won’t be as memorable as last week. We’re less than a month away from King of the Ring and the tournament is mostly set but the big story continues to be….well non-existent really. Most of the stories feel like they’re just there instead of one thing being miles ahead of the rest. To be fair though, that makes for some more interesting shows as you don’t know what you’re getting. Let’s get to it.

Doink the Clown comes out for his match and hides underneath the ring (hiding as much as you can with a camera on you) but we cut to outside where Lord Alfred Hayes is with….DOINK THE CLOWN! See, it’s an illusion, which is code for WWF announcers being too stupid to realize more than one person could wear a clown suit.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Doink the Clown vs. Mr. Perfect

This is the third try at this match as both previous attempts had gone to draws. Doink throws a towel at Perfect to get in some cheap shots but Perfect easily takes him down and works on the leg. Back from a break with Doink limping around but still beating Perfect down on the floor.

Perfect comes right back with a headscissors to keep Doink on the mat. It turns into an amateur match with Perfect getting the better of it and stomping on the knee again. Perfect puts on a leglock with Doink’s shoulders down and slaps the clown every time he gets up before getting pinned. Doink takes him right back down though and we hit a top wristlock of all things.

We take a second break and come back with the two of them slapping it out until Perfect is pulled face first into the middle turnbuckle. That’s fine with Perfect, who clotheslines the heck out of Doink and sends him outside. That means we play switching clowns (somehow the referee doesn’t notice the missing makeup but Vince of all people catches the problem) but the fresh Doink is caught in a quick PerfectPlex to send Perfect to the tournament.

Rating: B. This was an entirely different kind of match than you would have expected as heel Doink was a fascinating character who could wrestle a rock solid technical match and be all evil at the same time. Of course Perfect can keep up with anyone on the mat and he was on some amazing fire in this face run. It’s a shame he didn’t get to do it more often too as he was excellent around this time.

Post match Perfect gets double teamed until Crush comes in for the save.

King of the Ring Report with the now complete brackets:

Bret Hart

Razor Ramon

Mr. Perfect

Mr. Hughes

Tatanka

Lex Luger

Bam Bam Bigelow

Jim Duggan

Hulk Hogan, looking probably forty pounds lighter than usual, is ready for Yokozuna and brags about his barely existent physique.

Money Inc. vs. Mike Bell/Tony DeVito

Non-title and DiBiase offers $100 for a shoe shine, meaning Heenan has to be held in his seat. A kid comes in and does the shining but IRS says that’ll be $70 tax. The kid doesn’t seem to mind making $30 for about forty seconds of work and leaves smiling. Of course Vince and Randy freak out about how humiliating that was for him. DiBiase sends Bell face first into the mat so it’s off to DeVito as the fans get on IRS’ case. Not his literal case but you get the idea. The squashing continues as we hear about the 1-2-3 Kid winning last week. Ted’s powerslam sets up the Write Off clothesline to put Tony away.

Rating: D. Just a squash here (with Vince saying DeVito was squashed after the match) and that’s all it needed to be. DiBiase always felt a little bit out of place in 1993 as he didn’t have the same fire he had a few years earlier. Then again it might be the whole tag team thing as Money Inc. was fine but not exactly inspiring.

Crush vs. Bobby Who

Crush throws him into the corner and we’re already in the bearhug as the announcers make WHO jokes. The head vice wraps this up after far longer than it needed to go.

Rating: D-. There’s only so much I can say when a match runs over three minutes and there are two extended holds. Crush really did seem ready to jump through the ceiling but it never quite happened. Maybe it was the color scheme but it just didn’t work for some reason. Either way, this was longer than it needed to be and the WHO jokes didn’t help.

Here’s Razor Ramon to talk about his loss to the 1-2-3 Kid. He’s not exactly happy as you might expect and has an idea: he’ll face Kid again next week and is willing to put up $2,500 to get Kid in the ring. Vince shifts things over to the first round of the King of the Ring with Ramon facing Bret Hart. Cue Bret as the fans chant 1-2-3. Bret makes fun of Razor for losing to one of the underneath guys and Ramon is livid as the Canadian leaves.

Heenan does his watching TV bit when Johnny Polo (Raven) pops up on his screen to say don’t change the channel because Adam Bomb is next. Eh clever enough.

Adam Bomb vs. Phil Apollo

Apollo would wind up playing Doink when the original (Matt Borne) left. We hit the beating in a hurry, which might be taking place due to Phil’s trunks being WAY too small. Adam throws him outside for a bit before hitting him with a top rope clothesline. The Adam Smasher (powerbomb) is good for the pin.

Bam Bam Bigelow is ready to win the Intercontinental Title and isn’t worried about Sherri Martel in Marty Jannetty’s corner. She was in his corner?

Overall Rating: C. That opener does more than enough to carry the rest of this squash heavy show. It’s quite the drop from last week but it’s still better than watching Shawn Michaels vs. Jim Duggan in a long, boring match. It helps that I like some of the wrestlers on here like Bomb and Crush so this wasn’t the hardest thing in the world to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

To say these recent shows haven’t been interesting is a huge understatement. They’re just not working and haven’t been in almost the entire time the show has been on the air. You get a few moments that are better than the rest but really, the show feels like Superstars with a budget and we need more than that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Earlier today, Savage and the Smoking Gunns supported some Special Olympians. Nothing wrong with that.

We look at last week’s brawl between Mr. Perfect and Shawn Michaels.

Lord Alfred Hayes says someone is here in disguise and we’ll see who it is later.

Smoking Gunns vs. Glenn Ruth/Tony Vajda

Ruth is more famous as Headbanger Thrasher. Bart hiptosses Vajda to start and the Gunns start tagging a bit. Ruth comes in and takes a clothesline as well but something is botched, only to have the Gunns save it with a double legsweep. Some very slow offense ensues, including some kicks and legdrops as the arm work continues. Billy backdrops Glenn into a piledriver (which might have been a botched powerbomb) for the pin.

Rating: D. Long and boring stuff here but that’s what you had to expect. The Gunns certainly weren’t a great team but at this point, there wasn’t exactly much to go around in the division. They helped bolster the ranks a little bit and that’s exactly what the division needed around this time.

Vince brings out Shawn Michaels for a chat and we hit the SHAWN IS GAY chants. Heenan: “You hear that? Shawn is great!” Shawn told us all that he would win the Intercontinental Title and defend it around the world, which is exactly what he did. He told us he would beat up Mr. Perfect and he’s done that too.

Vince suggests that Shawn isn’t exactly a fighting champion so Michaels agrees to face anyone anywhere anytime and you know that’s not something you say in wrestling. Cue a “fan” who looks a lot like Marty Jannetty in a hoodie and sunglasses. The “fan” gets in the ring and removes the hood and sunglasses to reveal….MARTY JANNETTY! He’ll take a title shot tonight and just happens to have his gear in the back. Vince says it’s on for later tonight.

Razor Ramon vs. The Kid

This one is kind of famous. Razor throws the toothpick in his face to start and lights up Kid’s chest with some chops. There’s the fall away slam and Razor slaps him in the back of the head. Razor misses a charge into the corner though and Kid goes up for a moonsault press for what might be the biggest upset in company history.

THIS is the moment that put Raw on the map. After being just another wrestling show for a few months, this match put it on the map as a show where things could happen. This isn’t some pin where interference led to a pin. The Kid capitalized on Ramon’s mistake and got a 100% clean pin. It’s the kind of thing you don’t see very often and the New York crowd ate it up. There’s a reason this one was on highlight reels for a very long time and it still shows up occasionally.

Tatanka vs. Scott Taylor

Taylor gets backdropped to the floor for a fast start as Heenan talks about toilet paper statistics. More throwing around ensues and Vince suggests the Kid should now be the 1-2-3 Kid. The Papoose to Go puts Taylor away.

Rating: D+. Another squash but the fans needed a minute to breathe after the huge upset. It really is amazing how well Tatanka did with such a generic gimmick. He wasn’t all that talented in the ring either but he made the most of it and that’s what matters more than anything. Fans can tell when you’re trying and that usually means success.

King of the Ring Report with Gene talking about the tournament and World Title match.

Yokozuna vs. Kamala

Kamala looks confused by Yokozuna’s entrance but he looks that way more often than not. The collision goes to Kamala and a superkick to the chest staggers the bigger man even more. Kamala chops away but a shot to the throat slows him down again. The huge leg crushes Kamala but he pops up for more chops. Fuji grabs the leg though and Yokozuna finishes with the usual.

Rating: D. This was actually a lot less bad (I can’t say better) than I was expecting here with Kamala giving us a few hope spots before losing in the end as you had to expect he would. Yokozuna was clearly on the way to getting the World Title back at the King of the Ring and there’s nothing wrong with that. He never should have lost it in the first place.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Shawn is defending and gets rolled up a few times to start. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor as Heenan is in full on panic mode early on. Marty follows him out with a slingshot plancha and the fans are WAY into him here. Back in and Marty grabs a flying headscissors for two as the very hot pace continues. A whip into the corner turns Shawn upside down and out to the floor. Michaels can’t walk out though as Mr. Perfect is waiting for him in the aisle.

Back from a break with Marty eating a hot shot and we hit the chinlock. A catapult sends Shawn had first into the post for a very close two as the fans continue to die over these near falls. Marty gets two off a jumping back elbow and powerslam, followed by a spinning crossbody for the same. Shawn comes right back with the superkick but stops to yell at Perfect. That earns Shawn a towel to the face, setting up a small package to give Marty the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This was the kind of fast paced match that you just didn’t get from Raw so far, making this even more impressive than usual. Marty winning the title (the first title change ever on the show) was a major deal as it made you feel like anything could happen. The fast pace helped a lot here and that’s why the match stood out: it was genuinely different and more proof that the line should be “the Jim Neidhart of the team” rather than the Marty.

Overall Rating: B+. This is the show that made people believe Raw was something different. Having two big surprises like that in a row made Raw feel so much different and really inspired the Monday Nitro formula. The idea here was to make Raw feel like a show you couldn’t miss and that’s exactly what they did. Really well done here and by far the benchmark for good Raw’s in the early days.

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