Royal Rumble 1998
Date: January 18, 1998
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 18,542
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the year of Austin and for once, the WWF is looking good going forward as the debcale that was the main event of Starrcade has caused WCW to hit a brick wall. The main event tonight is Shawn defending the title against Taker because he didn’t want to face Owen Hart, the most logical opponent. Also there’s the Rumble, which is obvious of a winner as there’s been in years, but in this case that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two main matches as you would expect. The rest of the card doesn’t mean much anyway.

Mike Tyson is in a skybox.

 

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

 

This is during Goldie’s midlife crisis/PAY ATTENTION TO ME phase. These two had a great match at Clash of the Champions so maybe this won’t suck. Goldust jumps him as Jerry is glad the gold one is in men’s clothing again. Vader shrugs off the shots to the back and chases Goldust to the floor. Vader rams him into Luna as we hear about Austin not being here yet. Goldust is sent into the steps as Vader keeps control.

 

Back in and Luna trips Vader up, finally allowing Goldie to get in a clothesline. Another clothesline puts him down and Goldust works on the leg a bit. Goldie drops a middle rope elbow to the ribs and we head back to the floor. Vader is sent into the steps so Luna can choke him a bit before we head back in. Goldust pounds away again but stops to kiss Vader. I may not be a pro wrestler, but I know better than to kiss a guy called the Rocky Mountain Monster.

 

Vader kills him with a clothesline and suplexes Goldust down before getting two off a splash. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but a low blow stops him cold. Another clothesline puts Goldie down again and Vader sits on his chest. He loads up the Bomb again and despite Luna jumping in his back, Vader drops it anyway and crushes Goldust for the pin.

 

Rating: D. The place popped for the ending which did look cool, but other than that this was a messed up match. Goldust in this gimmick didn’t really work because at the end of the day, he’s still boring old Dustin Rhodes working the same standard style. It’s not horrible but it’s not a good choice to have on a PPV.

 

Austin gets here and tells Cole to park his truck. Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns) follow him, presumably to jump him.

 

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

 

Minis here with Sunny as the referee. Max Mini (more famous as Mascarita Sagrada) is by far the most famous of these guys as he’s about 4 and a half feet tall but can move around very quickly. Nova and Tarantula start things off with Tarantula (on the heel team) being way bigger. Nova takes him down with some headscissors before it’s quickly off to Batallion (military themed guy) vs. Max. Max armdrags him to the floor which brings in Torito, meaning we’re in lucha rules (meaning sending someone to the floor means another member of your team can come in without an actual tag).

 

Torito can actually get his head over the top rope, meaning he’s just under the size of Rey Mysterio. Mosaic comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press and a release flapjack. A second flapjack attempt is caught in a wrist drag to send Torito to the floor and it’s off to Tarantula. That goes nowhere so here’s Battalion again. The fast tags continue as here’s Nova vs. Torito already.

 

They both hit the floor so Mosaic speeds things up against Battalion again. Mosaic spins him around again a few times before it’s back to Mini vs. Tarantula. Max gets caught in a spinebuster but goes up top almost immediately for a delayed rana. Max sends him to the floor and Tarantula backs off. Back in and Torito hits a Mafia kick to the back of Max’s head and a chop puts him down again.

 

For no apparent reason Sunny picks Max up so he can dropkick the villains. I can only assume Sunny is there to give the fans anything to care about. Mosaic and Battalion go to the floor as does Torito so Max can hit his big dive. The others dive on them as well and it’s a big pile on the floor. Back in Max rolls up Torito for the pin.

 

Rating: C. I’m going with a C because I have no idea what else to go with. I don’t know who these people are, I have no idea why I should care, and I might have seen these guys twice other than this (aside from Max). These matches are really hard to get into because there’s nothing to them. Much like a lot of the luchador matches in WCW had the same issue: why should I care about these people?

 

The Nation goes to attack Austin but only find an Austin foam finger.

 

The McMahons are in Tyson’s sky box.

 

We recap Shamrock vs. Rock. Shamrock has charged through the Nation to get this shot at the unofficial leader of the team. Mark Henry joined the Nation to save Rock from Shamrock less than a week ago.

 

The Nation argues over which of them will win the Rumble. Rock says the fans of course want to know what he thinks of Clinton and Paula Jones, so he tells the President not to lie down with dogs or you might get fleas. This joke would be done way better over the next few weeks.

 

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

 

Rock is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Rocky trying to get a cheap shot in the corner. Both guys shove the other into the corner and Shamrock blocks a shot to the face before hitting one of his own. They run the ropes a bit until Shamrock kicks him in the chest and knocks the champion out to the floor. Back in and Rock pounds away a bit before hitting a corner clothesline. Ken comes back with some clotheslines of his own but the standing clothesline is countered into a hot shot for two.

 

They’re trying to get out of first gear here but it’s really not working that well. The champ pounds on him in the corner and but gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex for two. Back to the floor with Shamrock going into the steps and then back into the ring. The spinning DDT gets two for Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. Rock tries the spinning DDT again but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two instead.

 

Shamrock pounds away some more and gets two off a powerslam. The Nation comes out and sneaks Rocky some knuckles whick go upside Ken’s head for two. Rock hides said knuckles in Shamrock’s trunks, just before getting belly to bellied for the pin and the title. Keep that in mind of course.

 

Rating: D+. Rock would get better, but at the end of the day this didn’t work that well. It was mainly punching with both guys trying to throw in a move here or there. This feud never quite worked as well as they were shooting for I don’t think and with Rocky holding the title forever, it didn’t do Shamrock much good either.

 

Post match the referee finds the knuckles and reverses the decision. The referee is beaten up very badly for his efforts.

 

A Coliseum Video Exclusive from “moments later” show a clean and dry Shamrock in jeans attacking the Rock.

 

Los Boricuas attack someone that they think is Austin but find one of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Brawling ensues.

 

We recap the LOD vs. the Outlaws, which is old school vs. new with the Outlaws defending the titles. The Outlaws put a big old beating on the LOD and tonight is their return.

 

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom

 

The Outlaws make fun of the 49ers who lost in the NFC Title game recently to the Packers. The LOD says that Animal’s back is fine and they’re putting the Outlaws on ice tonight. The Outlaws jump the challengers which goes badly in a hurry, as Animal powerbombs the Dogg. The champions try to walk out but get thrown back in so we can start with Hawk (who had one mohawk shaved off earlier in this feud) vs. Roadie.

 

Off to Animal as Road Dogg’s mouth is bleeding. The pounding continues so here’s Hawk for his one wrestling move in the neckbreaker. Gunn gets the tag and Hawk hits a freaking Lou Thesz Press of all things so he can pound away some more. Animal powerslams both Outlaws down and it’s off to a reverse chinlock on Gunn. Hawk comes in for his second surprise move of the match in an STF.

 

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal, who is tripped up by Roadie. They head outside where Animal is sent into the steps to finally switch the momentum. Hawk gets double teamed in the ring but clotheslines both Outlaws down (Animal is still legal) but charges into the post. Dogg finds some handcuffs and attaches Hawk to the post, making it a handicap match. Animal makes a comeback with a double clothesline, but Dogg hits him with a chair for the DQ.

 

Rating: D. So with an injury AND his partner tied up on the floor, Animal STILL couldn’t lay down for a pin? Seriously? This match sucked and would have been just slightly better on Raw with less time. The LOD was nothing at this point while the Outlaws were finally starting to turn some heads. Until this point though, they were two jobbers with the titles who kept escaping with them. Brighter days were coming.

The Outlaws destroy Animal until Hawk snaps the handcuffs to make the save.

Some fan wins the Austin truck.

We recap the build up to the Rumble. Basically, everyone knows Austin is going to win and EVERYONE else in the Rumble is trying to stop him but not one has been able to slow him down at all. The only difference here: the fans were eating this stuff up with a spoon.

Royal Rumble

Cactus Jack is #1 and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) is #2. The intervals are supposed to be two minutes again this year but they would wind up being closer to 90 seconds. Terry brings his chainsaw into the ring so Cactus throws in a bunch of chairs. The referee finally gets the saw out and they pound on each other with chairs. Cactus hits Funk in the head with one, then hands the chair to Funk so he can return the favor. These two aren’t exactly normal if you didn’t catch that.

Tom Brandi is #3 and lasts about ten seconds. Terry punches Jack down but can’t piledrive him on a chair. Cactus suplexes him through two chairs but can’t put him out. Rock is #4 and both hardcore guys are down. Rock pounds on Terry in the corner but Cactus blasts him with a trashcan and the double beating begins. Cactus puts the can over Rock’s head and they pound away on him, knocking him through through ropes and out to the floor. Funk hits Cactus low as Mosh is #5.

Mosh and Funk pair off as do the other two guys. Funk (the announcers are calling him that too) tries a moonsault but it winds up being more of a headbutt than a splash. Phineas Godwinn is #6 and helps Rock beat up Mosh. Not much happens for a bit until 8-Ball of the DOA is #7. Jack misses a charge and Funk backdrops him out to empty the ring out a bit. Apparently someone who might have been Ken Shamrock has attacked Austin.

Funk barely hangs onto the rope to avoid elimination until Blackjack Bradshaw (yes that Bradshaw) is #8 and looking as muscular as you’ll ever see him look. We talk about Mike Tyson while things slow down a bit until Owen Hart is #9. Jeff Jarrett, the NWA North American Champion at the time in a strange invasion angle, attacks Owen on his way in. Yeah this is what Owen gets for not bolting to WCW after the Montreal Screwjob. Yes I know he was under contract but you know Vince couldn’t hold him to it in that situation. Hart can’t get in the ring yet.

Steve Blackman is #10 and he has a hairy chest. 8-Ball piledrives Funk as there are way too many guys in the ring right now. Since people seem content to just tease eliminations on the ropes, no one is eliminated until D’Lo Brown is #11. Rock DESTROYS Blackman in the corner before getting in a fight with his Nation teammate D’Lo. Kurrgan, still a psycho monster at this point, is #12.

Thankfully he gets rid of some people like Mosh and….that’s about it for now. Dang it clear the ring out a little bit already. You’re a monster Kurrgan. Go destroy some villager. Marc Mero is #13, giving us a pop for Sable. Mero pounds away on Blackman in the corner but Kurrgan dumps Steve. Bradshaw pounds on Kurrgan as Rock teases not stomping his teammate before kicking away.

Ken Shamrock is #14 and he immediately kicks Kurrgan down. A big gang takes out Kurrgan as Rock hits the People’s Elbow (not yet named) on Funk. Thrasher is #15, giving us Funk, Rock, Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, Owen (not in the ring), Brown, Mero, Shamrock and Thrasher, or as they’re collectively known, WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Still nothing happens and Mankind is #16, confusing the announcers and immediately punching Funk out.

Shamrock finally gets his hands on the Rock as Mero asks Sable for praise. Goldust is #17 in a silver bodysuit with a thong painted on. A minute or so later he puts out Mankind but there are still way too many people out there. Jeff Jarrett is #18 and Owen runs in to beat him down. A spinwheel kick puts Jeff down, followed by Owen skinning the cat and dumping Jeff. Honky Tonk Man is #19 as HHH (on crutches) and Chyna come to the ring. Rock dumps Shamrock to complete Ken’s humilation tonight.

HHH gets on the apron and cracks Owen with his crutch to knock Hart out as well. Ahmed Johnson is #20, looking as bored as I can remember a wrestler looking in a long time. WAY too many people in the ring again. Mark Henry of the Nation is #21 and JR says Henry is “handling the big Johnson.” There’s no #22 which was supposed to be Skull, but he was jumped earlier remember.

Johnson is dumped out and he still doesn’t look like he cares. He would be gone next month anyway. Phineas is out after a ridiculous 28 minutes. On top of being in too long, he accidentally kicks a referee in the head on the way down, giving him a legit concussion. Kama Mustafa is #23 to give the Nation four members at the moment. We’re just waiting for Austin at this point.

FINALLY the glass shatters at #24 and the roof goes off the place. Austin comes in through the crowd because he’s got ten people waiting on him as he comes in. There go Mero and 8-Ball and things slow down AGAIN, because we need at least ten people in the match at all times for some reason. Henry Godwinn is #25 and nothing happens. Savio Vega is #26, but since we STILL don’t have enough people in the ring at the moment, he brings in the other three Boricuas to beat on Austin.

Thankfully Austin beats them out quickly but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Faarooq is #27 to give us the entire Nation in the ring. He goes right for the other Nation members though as his face turn continues. Not that anyone cares mind you but he is indeed turning. Austin and Rock tumble through the ropes through the floor to brawl a bit because that’s what those two guys do.

Dude Love is #28 to complete the running joke of the match. He immediately puts out Bradshaw as Goldust is on the floor but not eliminated. You can’t see most of the mat because of how many people are in the ring at the moment. Austin pounds on Rock even more with Rock falling to the floor again. Chainz of DOA is #29 as Faarooq puts Brown out. More brawling ensues until Vader completes the field at #30. This gives us a final group of….hang on I need a breath first…..Rock, Thrasher, Goldust, Honky Tonk Man, Mark Henry, Kama, Austin, Henry Godwinn, Vega, Faarooq, Dude Love, Chainz and Vader, or THIRTEEN PEOPLE.

Vader immediately pounds on Goldust and dumps Honky a few seconds later. Austin dumps Thrasher after an insanely too long 28 minutes. Austin puts out Kama to finally clear the ring out a bit. There goes Vega at Austin’s hands as well before Goldust dumps Vader. Godwinn goes out as well before Faarooq puts out Henry. We’re down to Rock, Austin, Love and Faarooq as Chainz was put out by Austin off camera.

The Nation members are thrown together and Rock gets hit by Sweet Shin Music and the double arm DDT. Austin hits Dude low and Faarooq throws Love out. Rock puts out Faarooq to give us Austin vs. Rock. They slug it out and Rock is thrown to the apron. Austin is fine with Stunning him and throwing him out to go on to Wrestlemania where he would claim his destiny.

Rating: D+. Austin was awesome as he always was in 1998, but the rest of this match pretty much sucked. As I said over and over, there were way too many people in there for the most part. Also you had WAY too many people getting time they didn’t deserve. I mean did anyone need to see Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, D’Lo Brown and Thrasher all getting over 28 minutes? Not much to see here other than Austin and Foley’s funny bit.

Tyson celebrates “Cole Stone” Steve Austin winning the Rumble.

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Basically they feuded extensively in the fall but then after Montreal, Shawn didn’t want to face Owen for a fear of him trying to legit hurt him. Therefore they rehashed Undertaker vs. Shawn for the title here in a casket match. Most of the video here is about the first Cell match, which is still amazing stuff. Oh and one more thing: DX (still just three people at this point) attacked Taker on Raw but Kane had saved his brother, uniting with him for the first time ever. That was six days ago, and remember that a certain Vince Russo is booking.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Like I said, Shawn is defending and this is a casket match. Taker throwing the lights back on makes Shawn jump out of the ring. It’s a brawl to start and Taker immediately grabs Shawn by the throat. Shawn punches his way out of it but jumps into another choke by Taker. An attempt at putting Michaels in the casket doesn’t work, but a backdrop that put Michaels out of action for four and a half years by slamming his spine onto the casket does work.

Shawn slowly gets up and is kicked into the casket but he immediately bounces out. We head back in with Taker missing an elbow but hitting Old School. Shawn gets whipped into the corner for the Flair Flip to the floor, which is probably the last move he needed to do at this point. Back in and Shawn dives into a powerslam but Taker still can’t slam the lid shut. Shawn comes out throwing powder and manages to get a breather. Taker is sent knees first into the steps and Shawn smashes the challenger’s back with the steps.

A piledriver on the steps actually works for Shawn but he’s got a broken back and can’t follow up. HHH whacks Taker with the crutch (where is Owen if he’s so angry?) as Shawn stays in full control. Back in and a jumping back elbow puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Shawn neckbreakers Taker before putting on a sleeper which is eventually countered into a Saito Suplex.

The forearm from Shawn sets up the nipup which sets up the top rope elbow. He must be either high as a kite on painkillers or on a huge adrenaline rush to be able to have a match like this at this point. The superkick knocks Taker out cold but Shawn is Shawn and stops for a crotch chop. Taker grabs him by the balls and we head back inside for the beating Shawn deserves. Another Flair Flip sets up the big boot, but Taker misses a clothesline and lands in the casket.

Shawn drops an elbow into the casket, closing the lid on both guys. Cool spot actually. Shawn crawls out but in a semi famous shot, Taker pulls him back into the casket, closing it with both guys inside again. Back in and Undertaker hits one of the biggest chokeslams he’s ever hit followed by a JUMPING TOMBSTONE into the casket. The Outlaws and the Boricuas run in as we reenact Royal Rumble 1994, but here comes Kane to save the day. By save the day, naturally I mean turn on Undertaker and shut him in the casket to keep the title on Shawn and end the match.

Rating: B. Considering Shawn’s back was literally broken in half during the match, this is a pretty awesome fight. When Taker gets ticked off and wants to hurt somebody, he can lay a beating out like few others in the world. Shawn struggling through a match in this condition is nothing short of great, and the fact that he survived Wrestlemania like this as well is perhaps the greatest physical accomplishment of all time.

Post match Kane nails the casket shut and hacks at it with an ax. He pours gasoline inside and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE to end the show. Taker of course would disappear from the casket once it was opened up.

Overall Rating: D. Good main event aside, this was a REALLY dull show overall. 1998 would wind up being an awesome year, but this wasn’t the best start to it in the world. We saw a lot of the relics of the bad times here, but Austin was coming and there was absolutely nothing WCW could do to stop him. This wasn’t a good show at all, but it was a necessary evil to get us to the glory days.

Ratings Comparison

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Original: B-

Redo: D

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

Original: B-

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

….what in the world was I on back then?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1998-austin-isnt-a-lock-to-win-please-believe-us/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I was in studio a few weeks back for a chat about Monday Nitro.  The hosts are much funnier than I am so it’s certainly worth a listen.

 

http://obtuseangles.libsyn.com/the-obtuse-angles-podcast-tommy-hall-pt-iii

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2017
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s a big night as WWE tries in vain to fight off the College Football National Championship game. Their best bet is appropriately enough a Hail Mary in the form of having Undertaker and Shawn Michaels appear, along with Roman Reigns defending the US Title against Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens in a handicap match. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie McMahon is in the back with Mick Foley (who now has even less hair) for his annual performance review. First though, she wants to talk about the rumor that Undertaker will be here tonight. You mean the rumor that you SHOWED A VIDEO FOR LAST WEEK? Seth Rollins comes in and tells Stephanie he’s in the Royal Rumble. Before that can go anywhere, Braun Strowman comes in to say he wants Goldberg or Reigns tonight. Rollins punches Strowman in the face and throws a plant at him until security breaks it up. Stephanie goes into screech mode to say she’ll handle this.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho

Reigns is defending. Hang on a second though as Strowman comes out and gets in a fight with Reigns, leading to a 3-1 beatdown. Cue Rollins with a chair for the save, allowing Reigns to grab his own chair to attack as well, so no match for now.

Cue Stephanie to say there’s going to be a handicap match later tonight while Rollins faces Strowman.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Braun doesn’t waste time and cleans house immediately crushes Seth in the corner. Rollins can’t get anything in as Braun pulls him away from the ropes. A neck snap across the top rope staggers the monster but he knocks Rollins off the apron with ease to send us to a break. Back with Rollins hitting a suicide dive and running knee to the face.

A low superkick gets two and the springboard knee to the face only has a limited effect. Seth knocks him off the top (which freaks Byron out way too much considering it was the second time in the match) and a frog splash gets two. One more trip to the top goes a bit worse though as Rollins crashes into the barricade. Braun is fine with just watching him for the double countout at 11:36.

Rating: C-. It’s interesting that they didn’t have Braun get the win here as he still doesn’t really have a major victory to his name (save for maybe last week over Sami but I’m not sure if that’s major). That being said, beating Rollins might be a bit too much for him at this point. At least they had him look good though and that’s what matters.

Seth holds Braun off with a chair.

Clip of Shawn’s new movie The Resurrection of Gavin Stone.

Bayley is really excited about facing Charlotte at the Royal Rumble and Sasha Banks says she’ll have her back. Charlotte comes in to laugh at them and Sasha yells at her, only to get jumped by Nia Jax. Nia cleans house and winds up choking Charlotte before walking away.

We look back at the Gentleman’s Duel.

Jack Gallagher vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak takes over quickly with a middle rope clothesline and cranks on a double arm choke. Gallagher comes back with his headstand in the corner, followed by a headbutt and running corner dropkick for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D+. This is a great example of how important a character is. Gulak is one of the least interesting wrestlers in the division and is going absolutely nowhere. Gallagher is a character unlike most in WWE and he stands out as a result. It also helps that he’s one of the only people who could play the character. If you don’t think that’s important, picture anyone else playing Undertaker.

Post match Gallagher says he has the rite to give Daivari a thrashing like never before in WWE. Instead though, he’d like to invite him to parlay, as in a sitdown meeting to discuss terms of agreement.

TJ Perkins teaches Shawn Michaels to dab.

Stephanie pesters Foley about where Undertaker is. Apparently Foley’s ENTIRE performance review depends on getting Undertaker in the ring in the next hour. There’s no real reason for this other than Stephanie decrees it and therefore we’re not allowed to question it.

Here’s Shawn to talk about about the Rumble. He’s enjoying the idea of Royal Rumble season, especially since it’s in his hometown, which is where he won the WWE World Title twenty years ago. “And yes, I am that old.” Shawn is much more comfortable sitting on the outside when you think about all the people in that match.

Cue the ONE MORE MATCH chant so Shawn says he’s going to teach us a lesson in standing up to peer pressure. He’s here to talk about his new movie but here are Rusev, Jinder Mahal and Lana to interrupt. Rusev thinks Lana should have been in the movie and says Shawn can put her in via CGI. Shawn accuses Rusev of being a Wookie but Rusev says Lana should have won the Golden Globe. Shawn: “Could you not talk about golden globes? It makes me a bit uncomfortable.”

Cue Enzo and Big Cass to say Shawn is the realest guy in the room. Shawn asks Enzo what we have over here. Shawn: “HATERS! HATERS I TELL YOU!” Cass thinks they could be in a movie called Beauty and the Beast or the Pianist. Shawn cringes and Cass explains the title in a joke that both hits and misses at the same time. They finally get to the challenge with Rusev wanting to fight Cass but it’s going to be Mahal instead. Shawn thinks he’ll stay out here for the match and if you’re not down with that, guess what two words he has for you.

Jinder Mahal vs. Big Cass

Joined in progress with Mahal hitting a running knee and a low dropkick for two. With legs as long as his, that offense makes sense. Cass comes back with his corner splashes but Rusev grabs his foot. That earns him Sweet Chin Music. The East River Crossing (pretty much botched) and the Empire Elbow wrap Mahal up at 3:09.

Rating: D. That botch didn’t look good and it might be time for Cass to get another big power finisher. Above all else though, Shawn is a good example of how to use a legend. He came in, promoted his movie (by saying the date over and over in an old school move), was involved in a nothing match and gives a quick endorsement before leaving. In other words, it was effective instead of something like Ric Flair where it’s a mess.

Emmalina video.

Neville vs. Lince Dorado

Dorado hits a very quick handspring into a Stunner followed by a running dive to the floor. Back in and Neville hits something like a fireman’s carry slam into an armbar. A release F5 sets up a Rings of Saturn of all things to make Dorado tap at 2:59.

Rich Swann comes out for the save but Neville ducks the big kick to the head.

Video on Edge winning the Royal Rumble.

Sasha and Bayley come in to see Stephanie and demand a tag match next week. Stephanie tells Sasha to take the bass out of her voice because she’s the only boss in this room. If Bayley keeps yelling, she’ll lose her title shot. The tag match is on for tonight.

Luke Gallows vs. Sheamus

Cesaro and Anderson are on commentary to make it a five man booth. They slug it out to start until Sheamus gets in a spinning kick to the face. The slingshot shoulder gets two and they head outside for more slugging out. A big boot knocks Sheamus off the top though and we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the ten forearms to the chest followed by the top rope clothesline for two. The Brogue Kick is loaded up but Anderson hits Cesaro with a bottle. The distraction lets Luke get in a flapjack for two. Sheamus pops up and hits the Brogue for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. These teams just aren’t interesting and their matches aren’t any good either. The idea of taking four guys who wrestle a similar enough style isn’t something that works too often and that’s what’s going on here. It doesn’t help that none of them have shown any personality that’s going to bring in any interest but hey, Sheamus and Cesaro had a series of matches and that makes them interesting right?

Reigns says he’ll retain.

Here’s Foley to request Undertaker come out, making it sound like he’s summoning the Candyman (not Brad Armstrong for you old school fans). The lights go out….and here’s Stephanie to rip on Foley for being unable to produce the Undertaker. Stephanie talks about all the issues Foley has created, including putting the Cruiserweight division on the line, creating the monster Braun Strowman and above all else: ALLOWING SMACKDOWN TO BEAT RAW IN THE RATINGS.

Before I can elaborate on how stupid that is, Undertaker cuts them off and makes his big appearance. After a very long entrance (duh), Undertaker says he goes where he wants, when he wants and no one (as he gets in Stephanie’s face) tells him what to do. He’ll be in the Royal Rumble and has dug 29 holes for 29 souls so he can be in the main event of Wrestlemania. If anyone stands in his way, they will REST IN PEACE.

Jericho and Owens are ready to become national heroes because it’s time America was represented by two Canadians.

Nia Jax/Charlotte vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

It’s a big standoff to start and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Banks in control of Charlotte until a shot to the knee puts her right back down. Bayley gets the tag and does her elbow to the back into the sliding clothesline spot but it’s off to Nia for the domination. Charlotte comes in for some suplexes before the hot tag brings Sasha back in. That goes nowhere though and Bayley has to come back in, only to be run over by Nia. The big leg is enough to put Bayley away at 8:55.

Rating: D. I’m really not sure what they were going for here but it didn’t do much good. Unless Nia is being added to the title match (gee, if only there was a power mad boss who could make it happen), I have no idea what the point of this was. The match wasn’t even good and that’s not promising going into the pay per view.

Noam Dar offers Alicia a free slap but she kisses him instead. Dar is shaken and Alicia says Cedric was right: he can’t handle a real woman.

Here’s New Day to address Titus O’Neil wanting to be part of the team. After a break, Titus comes out and suggests being on the team again but first, let’s look at a clip of the original NXT with Titus stumbling while trying to carry a keg. They have an offer for Titus: if he can carry a keg around the ring in less than 12.7 seconds (the winning time of the original contest), he wins. Titus runs around but drops the keg before crossing the line. A match is made for after a second break.

Kofi Kingston vs. Titus O’Neil

Kofi runs around to start because Titus isn’t smart enough to keep up with him. A chop off goes to Titus and he gets two off a big boot. Kofi’s sunset flip gets the same and it’s time for some tromboning. That’s fine with Titus as he throws Kofi onto the rest of the team and Trouble in Paradise wraps O’Neil up at 3:39.

Rating: D-. WHY IS NEW DAY FEUDING WITH TITUS O’NEIL??? Is this really the best that WWE can find for them? These guys were borderline main eventers just a few months ago and now they’re feuding with Titus O’Neil less than a month after losing the belts? It says a lot when you can drag Kofi down but Titus pulled it off. That’s impressive.

Video on the UK Tournament.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho

Reigns is defending and is smart enough to lock Jericho in the shark cage, only to have Owens make a last second save. The champ is thrown against the cage, which falls down off the stage in a quieter than expected crash. Another shove sends Reigns into the steps as we’re waiting on the opening bell. The challengers have to tag here so Owens starts out for the team.

Jericho comes in and grabs the chinlock, only to have Roman, whose arm is banged up, come back with clotheslines. The Superman Punch misses Jericho and a Lionsault gets two. A Pop-Up Codebreaker is countered with back to back Superman Punches but Owens gets in a superkick from the floor. Reigns blocks the apron powerbomb though and scores with the apron dropkick. The Codebreaker slows Roman down though and now Owens hits the powerbomb on the apron. Back in and another Codebreaker gives Jericho the pin and the title at 8:19.

Rating: C-. What does it say that it took two World Champions to get the US Title off of Reigns? Like, couldn’t they have done the EXACT SAME THING by having Owens interfere and cost Reigns the title in one of their many matches? Nah, that might imply that Reigns isn’t invincible and therefore make things a bit more interesting. It’s not like this was some big major screwjob or anything as they just beat Reigns and that was it. I’m glad Jericho won the title though as Reigns certainly didn’t need it.

Overall Rating: D+. This show started off fairly strong and then fell off a cliff in the last hour. Above all else, Stephanie was up to her old tricks again and it really hurt the good things going on. Was the whole point of the performance evaluation just to set up the line about Undertaker doing whatever he wanted? That’s what we had to sit through all those Stephanie segments for? Other than that, the wrestling wasn’t great but I’m getting the Royal Rumble itch and that’s a very good sign. Not a great show here, but the title change is a positive step forward. Tone down the Stephanie and the show is much better in a hurry.

Results

Braun Strowman vs. Seth Rollins went to a double countout

Jack Gallagher b. Drew Gulak – Running corner dropkick

Big Cass b. Jinder Mahal – Empire Elbow

Neville b. Lince Dorado – Rings of Saturn

Sheamus b. Luke Gallows – Brogue Kick

Nia Jax/Charlotte b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Legdrop to Bayley

Kofi Kingston b. Titus O’Neil – Trouble in Paradise

Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho b. Roman Reigns – Codebreaker

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It wouldn’t be right if I was on time with these things but they’re mostly written up.  I’ll be able to do more than one a day (not saying twice a day) and hopefully get these done before they’re completely ridiculous. Today we’re going to have something a bit more long term with Angle of the Year (aside from Kurt of course). This time we have the best stories of the year and see which ones were the absolute strongest, be it for comedy, drama or just good storytelling in general. As usual, these are in no particular order and only WWE stories were considered.

1. Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens Are Best Friends

You might be seeing Jericho on here later but this one deserves its own entry. These two have been the top heels on “Monday Night Raw” for a few months now (depending on what mood Stephanie McMahon is in that week) and have produced some great comedic moments. Jericho has had one of the best career resurgences I can remember in recent years in 2016 and his material with Owens is some of the best stuff he’s done this year.

I can get the idea that the constant teases of breakups are getting annoying but it’s going to make things even better when they finally do split up for good, likely due to Jericho putting Owens on the list. I know Jericho is going to get most of the praise for this team but Owens has more than pulled his weight throughout the entire angle. He’s been a perfect partner for Jericho and the World Title makes the story seem even more important.

Above all else though, the story has been funny. They have great chemistry together and Owens is so great at insulting a crowd that Jericho has something to bounce off of. It’s been funny, had some drama and is just all around entertaining. That’s really hard to do in today’s WWE and these two Canadians have done it as well as anyone has in a good while.

2. Heath Slater Has Kids!

If there’s one person who has been playing with the house’s money all year and has no business being this high on the card for this long, it’s Slater. After a few weeks of being bounced back and forth between the two shows in an attempt to earn a contract, Slater was given an ultimatum: find a partner to win the Smackdown Tag Team Title tournament or get out for good. In what might be the surprise of the year, Slater and Rhyno actually won the titles and earned Slater a contract. Why is this so important you ask?

As the title says, Heath Slater has kids! This turned into a battle cry for Slater, who had somewhere between two and ten kids (who we would eventually meet). He and his very redneck wife had a dream of installing an above ground pool while eating spray cheese and crackers like a real, middle class family.

This was a great example of what “Smackdown Live” does best: take something so simple and basic as Heath Slater is a country boy and turn it into a story. They wound up getting some crazy mileage out of it, especially when you consider how much Slater has floundered over the years. This gave him a much longer shelf life in WWE and was entertaining at the same time. That’s a great story and one of the best angles of the year.

3. James Ellsworth

Nothing specific here but rather just Ellsworth in general. Ellsworth appeared over the summer as a victim of Braun Strowman and then came back later on in the year as AJ Styles’ mystery tag team partner. While Ellsworth was attacked and replace by Miz, Dean Ambrose took notice and eventually made Ellsworth something like a charity case, treating him as a little buddy for the next few months.

This turned into one heck of a roll for Ellsworth, who went on to defeat Styles three times in a row, earning himself a WWE contract and Smackdown World Title shot in the process. Above all else though, the key to Ellsworth was he barely ever had a single offensive maneuver. Most of his offense was either done by Ambrose behind the referee’s back or some pathetic right hands. Ellsworth’s only move, a superkick, was dubbed No Chin Music due to his, shall we say, oddly shaped face. When Ambrose wasn’t helping, Styles defeated Ellsworth in less than a minute, though Carmella of all people took a liking to Ellsworth next.

While there is certainly a case to be made that Ellsworth overstayed his welcome, I classify him as someone who is completely harmless and rather entertaining at times. There’s just something entertaining about this weird looking guy going further and further every week, only to get destroyed when it came down to a straight match. The character goes too far if it’s something like Eugene, who was put in a competitive match against Triple H at one point. Ellsworth wasn’t very good and was never treated as very good, which kept him as harmless and entertaining like he should have been.

4. Broken Matt Hardy

I’ve said almost all I can say about this story but my goodness does it get much more amazing than this? I’m really not a big fan of it as the Broken Universe has almost nothing to do with wrestling but GOOD GRIEF the effort put into this has been remarkable. Hardy has literally created his own set of rules and an actual continuity behind them to turn it into one of the most creative things I’ve ever seen.

I know the wrestling isn’t all that outstanding (if you can even still call it wrestling most of the time) but that’s not the point here. It’s given the Hardys a completely new take on wrestling and turned them into something interesting for the first time in way too long. Some of the big matches have gotten repetitive but the original Final Deletion is still outstanding.

That being said, I’m not sure where it goes from here. Hardy is seemingly starting to run out of ideas and the story really has run its course. Like, how do you do more than an entire show built around a single idea? It’s very entertaining but I’m hoping they cut it off before it gets all stale, which TNA has a major problem avoiding a lot of the time.

5. Mick Foley and Sami Zayn

This is an odd one but the talking has carried it to the levels the company has likely been shooting for. Much like Ellsworth, this one starts with an incident involving Strowman. For weeks, the monster known as Strowman had been demanding that “Monday Night Raw” General Manager Foley give him more competition, but that only resulted in a string of rather boring handicap matches. One night, Zayn answered but Strowman wasn’t interested in someone Zayn’s size.

Eventually they did fight and, as is his custom, Zayn was completely destroyed. He wanted a rematch and Foley said no, prompting Zayn to demand a trade to “Smackdown Live”. Foley agreed and the trade offered was Zayn for…..Eva Marie. This set Zayn off and brought out a fire in him that Foley had wanted all along. There was never any trade agreed to and Zayn was given his rematch with Strowman, which he somehow won by lasting the same amount of time as Strowman (just because it’s entertaining doesn’t mean everything has to make sense).

This story worked because it had a distinct arc. Zayn grew a lot out of it and Foley gave him a strong endorsement in the process. One of the keys to this was the fact that Strowman never actually pinned Zayn. Strowman might have had him dead to rites in their first match but Foley stopped it for the sake of saving Zayn’s health. The fact that Zayn wrestled to a draw (or a win as it seems to be called now) was a big moment for him, though I’d be surprised if Strowman doesn’t annihilate him in the final match between the two. If so, at least it was a good story to get us there.

6. The List of Jericho

Where do you even begin with this one? Earlier in the year, Jericho debuted the Gift of Jericho, which was basically just him posing like an imbecile and letting everyone praise him. Eventually he started calling things the “insert name here” of Jericho, culminating with an incident on the September 19 episode of “Monday Night Raw’.

Foley had been getting on Jericho’s nerves so Jericho said Foley was going on the list. Soon thereafter, Jericho started carrying a physical list with him and wrote down various names and things that annoyed him. This led to a VERY popular catchphrase of “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”. It turned out that Jericho was actually writing things down the entire time and he actually released it, complete with spelling errors, on his Facebook page.

One of the most important keys to this though has been how everyone has sold it. People like Xavier Woods and Ellsworth seemed terrified of being put on the list and nearly begged Jericho not to put them on. When everyone is playing along (except for McMahon who is of course WAY too cool for something like this), it makes the angle that much stronger. This whole thing worked as well as anything Jericho has done in several years and I continue to be in awe of everything he does. It’s the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all year and is going to be hard to top.

7. Randy Orton Joins the Wyatt Family

We’ll wrap it up with something that not only made sense, but has been played off very well. Orton and Wyatt feuded with each other for a few months with the rest of the Wyatt Family attacking Orton almost every time. Unlike most of the Wyatts’ victims, instead of getting partners to help him with the fight, Orton said “if you can’t beat em, join em”, and that’s exactly what he did.

In the weeks since then, the fans have been waiting on Orton to turn on Wyatt in a big swerve and it just hasn’t come yet. While I can’t imagine this partnership is going to last until “Wrestlemania XXXIII”, it’s still done a very good job at giving us some storytelling, along with FINALLY giving Wyatt his first title in WWE. That was long overdue and it took Orton to actually get us there.

This story isn’t rewriting anything or doing anything we haven’t seen before but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been good. Orton is the kind of guy that can go from good to evil at the drop of a hat and that’s something that can make this story work so well. I’m sure Orton will turn on Wyatt at some point but all that matters is how big the pop is when that first RKO connects. Until then, just sit back and enjoy something being done by good wrestlers.

You might have noticed how I put these nominees together. That’s right: it’s been on a list, and that’s the choice here. The List of Jericho is even more proof of what happens when you take the dumbest ideas in the world and give it to someone as talented as Jericho. I’ve had more fun seeing Jericho put people on that List than I’ve gotten out of anything else this year and there’s a good chance it’s going to put him back in the World Title picture. Also, I’m going with this over the Broken Universe because, very simply put, the List has led to more wrestling instead of insanity that doesn’t serve many people other than Matt and Jeff.  That’s more than enough for the best angle of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re in the Monday Night Wars era now and it’s all about Shawn at the moment. He’s back from injury and in the Rumble tonight, looking to become the second person ever to win back to back Rumbles. Other than that we’ve got Bret vs. Undertaker which is another of those matches that can be hit or miss. It’s hard to say what we’ll get here….well not really because I’ve seen this show a bunch of times. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

The opening video is about how the champion is defined by Hart, as in Bret Hart. Tonight though he’s against a force who has no heart, in the form of Undertaker. The IC Title match (Ramon vs. Goldust) and the Rumble are talked about as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Last month at IYH, Jarrett hit Johnson with a gold record to set this up. Johnson is basically Ezekiel Jackson with a bit of skill and charisma. Jarrett immediately bails to the floor to hide. Back in he tries a hiptoss and Ahmed is like boy are you stupid or something? A headlock is easily countered by a throw from Johnson and a clothesline takes Jarrett down. There’s a World’s Strongest Slam for two for Ahmed and things slow down again. Johnson misses a clothesline by a mile but Jeff sells it anyway of course.

A cross body misses as well but this time Johnson goes flying over the top, getting his hand caught in the ropes on the way down. A HARD whip into the steps puts Johnson down and we head back in. Ahmed starts no selling stuff and catches a dive in a bearhug. That goes nowhere so Johnson sends him to the floor and hits a big dive. Back in and Ahmed misses a FREAKING SWANTON (remember that he weighs like 280) and there’s the Figure Four from Jarrett. Johnson powers out of it twice, so Jarrett cracks him with the guitar off the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Diesel isn’t worried about the Rumble tonight and doesn’t think it’s Vader Time. He doesn’t care who he faces at Mania, but he isn’t happy with Taker being the #1 contender.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Things settle down a bit and it’s back to Billy vs. Skip with the champion in control. Sunny hits on Bart until it’s Bart vs. Zip. A gorilla press puts Zip down but he makes a blind tag, allowing Skip to take over. The champions are fine with the double teaming stuff too, and take over on Skip very easily. Sunny gets on the apron and is knocked off just as quickly, giving us a nice upskirt shot in the process.

Now we get to the important part of the match as Billy goes to check on Sunny, allowing the Donnas to pound away on Bart. Skip hits a nice plancha onto Billy before suplexing Zip onto Billy for two back inside. Billy gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile, being put in a chinlock by Zip. This goes on for awhile until we get a sloppy spot where the Donnas collide and Skip rams heads will Billy. This would work a bit better if Billy wasn’t about eight inches taller than Candido.

Hot tag brings in Bart and everything breaks down with the champions taking over. The Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo) crushes Zip but Sunny’s distraction lets Skip break things up and take Zip’s place. Ignore the fact that one has the straps of his singlet up and the other doesn’t, and the fact that they look as different as Demolition did. In an ending the Expresses used back in the 80s, the Donnas load up a double suplex on Bart, but Billy spears Skip down, causing Bart to fall on Zip for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Tag wrestling at this time was really weak with very few solid teams anywhere to be found. The Gunns were ok at best and the Donnas were only popular because of Sunny. Billy would turn heel relatively soon and would eventually join up with Road Dogg to form the New Age Outlaws and turn the division completely upside down. Nothing much to see here but it certainly wasn’t terrible.

We get some of the Billionaire Ted skits, which were unfunny shots at Ted Turner. Not his wrestling company directly, but Turner himself. I’m still not sure why they decided to do these but no one liked them and they came off as mean instead of funny or witty. Note Vince Russo as one of the executives in the board room skit.

We recap Razor vs. Goldust, where Goldust is hitting on Razor to mess with his mind before the match tonight. To say Goldust’s character got them in hot water around this point is a huge understatement.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

We get the usual promos for the Rumble, but we start with a statement from Shawn’s doctor who says he’s back and healthy. Thankfully this is kept VERY short and he’s not dull. We hear from Owen, Roberts, Lawler, Horowitz, Vader and Shawn. Shawn would be the most obvious winner ever in the Rumble since…..well since last year when he was the absolutely obvious pick to win.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1, having lost a match on the Free for All to Duke Droese, who won the right to be #30. Henry Godwinn is #2 and I believe he’s feuding with HHH at this point. Helmsley pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped down very quickly. The intervals are back to two minutes this year thank goodness. Trips pokes him in the eye and chokes away until Bob Backlund is #3. Backlund saves HHH before pounding away on him. These wide shots are showing how nearly empty the upper deck is.

Jerry Lawler is #4 as HHH hits the jumping knee to the face of Godwinn. The fans chant Burger King and you know Lawler isn’t going to pass up a chance to rile up a crowd. He goes to get the slop bucket that Godwinn brought with him, but Henry clears the ring and gets the bucket, throwing it over the top onto Lawler and some of Backlund. Bob Holly is #5 and things slow down a bit until HHH erupts on Godwinn for some reason.

We get some slow paced elimination teases until Mabel is #6. Still nothing happens so here’s Jake Roberts at #7 to an ERUPTION. No one is eliminated yet. Jake throws in the snake and everyone but Lawler can get to the floor. After nearly giving him a heart attack with the snake, Lawler disappears for a good while as he hides under the ring. Mabel gets tied up in the ropes and pounded on for a bit until Dory Funk Jr. is #8.

The DDT is countered by HHH as we hear about a friendship between Terry Funk and Bruce Willis of all people. Backlund and Funk go at it because they’re both old and I doubt Dory knows most of the other people in the ring. Lawler is seen hiding under the ring. Yokozuna is #9 as there are WAY too many people in the match at the moment. Backlund puts Dory in the chickenwing and is eliminated by Yoko for a prize. Yoko crushes Godwinn in the corner but Mabel splashes Yoko, killing Henry in the process.

The 1-2-3 Kid is #10 but Razor charges down the aisle to chase him away (not eliminated). Officials get Razor off the Kid but it takes Mabel beating Razor down to stop the chases. It amazes me that Razor wasn’t in more Rumbles. Come to think of it….he was NEVER in a Rumble. Omori, a Japanese star that doesn’t mean much yet, is #11. At the moment we’ve got HHH, Godwinn, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Mabel, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, the Kid and Omori in the match.

Wait where is Godwinn? I guess he went out off camera. Yoko and Mabel double team Omori until Jake pounds away on Yoko to the loudest reactions of the match so far. Funk hits a double underhook suplex on the Kid as Savio Vega is #12. He spinwheel kicks Mabel down, allowing Yoko to dump the reigning King (Mabel if you’re lucky enough to not remember that gimmick). Omori goes out thanks to Roberts and things slow down again.

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

The camera work in this is really bad as they keep looking at corners of the ring instead of the full thing, making us miss a lot of stuff. Savio pounds on Vader until one of the Squat Team members (BIG fat guys who are there because they’re fat and look alike) is #15. Vader sloppily throws Gilbert out and does the same to the Squat Team dude. Yoko and Vader slug it out again and people respond again.

The other member of the Squat Team is #16 but they both get in to double team Vader. The Mastodon (Vader) punches their faces in as only Vader can do before knocking them both to the floor. Owen Hart is #17 and everyone but Yoko is on one side of the ring for some reason. Vader and Yoko double team Savio who doesn’t seem interested in selling at all. A pair of splashes in the corner crushes him, as do a regular splash and the big leg from Yoko.

Shawn is #17 to a decent pop but significantly smaller than Jake’s. Vader throws out Savio as Shawn goes after HHH and the Kid. Vader and Yoko slug it out a bit before slugging it out a lot. They fight against the ropes, so Shawn gets a running start and dumps them BOTH AT ONCE. Now THAT wakes up the crowd. If that’s not enough, Shawn gorilla presses (!) the Kid to the floor as the ring is suddenly very thin. Hakushi is #19 as the big guys fight on the floor.

Scratch the floor part as Vader gets back in and cleans house, but none of the eliminations count because he’s not legal. Once he’s finally taken away, we’ve got Shawn, HHH, Holly, Hart, Hakushi and Lawler underneath the ring. Tatanka is #20 as Shawn thrown Jim Cornette, Vader’s manager, out. Hakushi hits a Muta elbow on Hart in the corner as HHH of course goes after Shawn.

Michaels teases a bunch of eliminations to try to make us think he’s not winning. Owen dumps Hakushi as Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jock strap over his face) is #21. Shawn gets sent through the ropes to the floor, where he pulls Lawler out and sends him back into the ring. Tatanka puts out Montoya as Shawn puts out Lawler.

Here’s Diesel at #22 and house is cleaned. There goes Tatanka at the hands of the tall one and it’s time for Shawn vs. Diesel which gets a pop but is too short to mean much. Kama (Godfather) is #23 as this continues to go slowly. Shawn pounds on Holly (why is he still in this?) in the corner as Kama and Diesel slug it out. The Ringmaster (Steve Austin who is brand new here) is #24. He’s in white boots which is a really strange thing to see for him.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

HHH punches Diesel, so Diesel grabs him by the head and LAUNCHES him to the floor. The Game made it about 48 minutes which isn’t bad at all. MAKING A DIFFERENCE Fatu (don’t ask. PLEASE don’t ask) is #26 and he doesn’t do much. Shawn and Owen can’t suplex the other one out so here’s Isaac Yankem DDS (Kane) at #27. The ring is WAY too full but Barry is put out to thin it out a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn which put Michaels on the shelf leading up to this match. Shawn hangs on AGAIN though and puts Owen out while we’re looking at a double feature. Austin kills Shawn with a clothesline and here’s Marty Jannetty at #28. Fatu superkicks Kane as the burst of energy from Marty is already gone. Shawn and Jannetty go at it because they’re former partners. Perfect: “They’re rocking now aren’t they?” They punch each other down and the British Bulldog is #29.

Smith goes right for Shawn because of what happened last year. I love little bits of continuity like that which you never get anymore. Davey puts out Marty as Fatu GOES OFF on Austin before clotheslining him out off camera. Yankem puts out Fatu and here’s Duke Droese at #30. The final group is Shawn, Droese, Diesel, Smith, Yankem and Kama.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Rating: D. Oh this was DULL. The problem here was that like last year (although to a MUCH weaker degree), there were very few guys you could buy as a winner here. It’s FAR better than last year’s match but the crowd was dead for long stretches of this, mainly due to boredom. You could see the star power of the future, but that’s the problem: they weren’t stars yet and no one bought them at this point. The match isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not good if that makes sense.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

Oh yeah we’ve got a thirty minute match left to go.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and Taker is still in his skull mask period. Diesel is still straggling behind and stares at Taker during his entrance. They brawl with neither guy getting much of an advantage. Since this is WWF, we recap what we just say two minutes ago. After all that, here’s the world champion. Taker stands in the middle of the ring and Bret circles him for a bit. Hart pounds away in the corner and Taker stares at him.

Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner which is one of my favorite of his moves. He chokes Bret in the air and moves very slowly. Off to a smother hold which goes on for a LONG time. Bret finally makes the rope so there’s Old School….which sets up the smother again. Bret fights up and hits a middle rope clothesline followed by a regular one to send Taker to the floor. There’s a dive to take out the challenger as this finally picks up the pace a bit.

Bret tries to dive off the apron at Taker but is pulled out of the air and rammed into the post. Taker rams him into various other things until Bret reverses a whip into the steps, trying to damage Taker’s knees. Back in and Bret works over the knee as this is going nowhere. The Figure Four goes on….and on…..and on……and Taker turns it over.

Bret gets to the rope, so let’s put on ANOTHER LEG HOLD! It’s that always riveting one where Bret drops an elbow on the leg and just lays on it. This is also known as the Dusty Rhodes Special. He does however mix it up by trying to take off Taker’s mask. After being in this for literally about three minutes, Taker smashes his free leg on Bret’s head before we head back to the floor. Taker chokes away with a cord and sends Bret into the barricade as we head back in.

The champ goes back to the freaking knee as the fans loudly boo Bret. Taker’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and it’s back to laying on the leg. Dear goodness get this over with already. We’re over twenty minutes into this and NOTHING has happened. To save my sanity the hold doesn’t last as long this time and Taker fights back. There are some legdrops and a clothesline as Taker’s knee seems fine. He loads up the Tombstone but Bret slides down his back and guillotines Taker on the ropes.

A DDT puts Taker down and Bret starts headbutting the back. We get the Russian legsweep but Taker sits up. The bulldog takes Taker down and there’s the middle rope elbow. Bret gives the fans a thumbs down and loads up the Sharpshooter. Taker grabs him by the throat to block it but Bret knees him in the ribs. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we lay around a bit more.

Bret is up first and takes off the buckle from a corner. He goes for the mask again and gets it off to reveal….the same Undertaker we’ve seen for like five years at this point. Seriously he looks fine. Taker fights back but gets rammed into the exposed buckle. That gets no sold and it’s a Tombstone for Bret. Since this is such a dull match though, Diesel pulls the referee out at two for a DQ.

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Taker comes in to yell at Gorilla, saying that Diesel won’t be champion on his watch. Gorilla makes it a cage match so Taker can’t interfere.

Diesel goes on a big rant about how he’s not afraid of the dark and says he’s going to have his hands in everything from now on because the WWF is running on Diesel Power. This was his official heel turn.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Overall Rating: D. This is a really weird show to grade because while most of the matches got bad grades, it’s not that bad of a show overall. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. The first two matches are certainly watchable, but they’re not that good. The Rumble is also passable, but it’s dull at times. Not horrible, but definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestle Kingdom 11
Date: January 4, 2017
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 26,192
Commentators: Steve Corino, Kevin Kelly

This is one of those shows that I do every year as I pretty much have no other option. While I only kind of follow New Japan, I almost always enjoy this show, even if I have no desire to watch the show all the time. If nothing else it’s nice to have English commentary, even though I’m not wild on the idea of listening to Corino shout SUPERKICK whenever the Young Bucks are on. Let’s get to it.

As is always the case, since I barely follow New Japan, I’m going to miss a lot of details or not understand a few things. Please bear with me as I’ll keep up as well as I can.

Pre-Show: New Japan Rumble

Basically an annual Royal Rumble to get everyone on the card with regular timed intervals. Michael Elgin (returning from a broken orbital bone) is in at #1 and at #2 it’s…..Billy Gunn? Seriously? Well he’s no Haku but ok then. It’s rather odd that the crowd is quiet (as well as far away from the ring) so you can really hear what they’re saying. Billy’s shoulders have no effect so Elgin tells him to try it some more. They shove each other a bit and the one minute (or so) clock runs down with Bone Soldier (of the Bullet Club and formerly known as Captain New Japan) in at #3.

The Soldier very slowly hammers away until Gunn and Elgin easily take him down. That allows the announcers to do their stupid inside jokes about Corino in Roppongi. Cheeseburger is in at #4 and the announcers freak out. Cheeseburger actually low bridges Soldier out so Gunn punches both guys down. The referee (actually in the ring) tells Gunn to stop with the hair pulling. Are there DQ’s in battle royals?

Jushin Thunder Liger (who just happens to be Cheeseburger’s mentor) is in at #5 and it turns into a tag match for, what, a good forty five seconds or so? It’s actually even shorter as Elgin tells Gunn to suck it and clotheslines him out. Kuniaki Kobayashi, a 60 year old legend who had a big feud with Tiger Mask is in at #6. He takes his sweet time getting to the ring and the camera stays on him the entire way because he’s a legend and all that jazz. A fisherman’s suplex on Liger…..gets two, because you can be eliminated by pin. That doesn’t answer my DQ question but it makes things a bit more interesting.

Tiger Mask (IV) is in at #7 and he grabs a crucifix for the pin on Kobayashi. It’s good to get rid of him as he looked about 90 years old out there. Manabu Nakanishi, a former IWGP World Champion, is in at #8 to clean house with ax handles. Elgin no sells his so Manabu spears him down instead. A double clothesline puts both guys down instead and it’s Ryusuke Taguchi, a comedy guy, is in at #9.

Everyone goes after Nakanishi and it’s a dog pile for the elimination. Liger puts on the surfboard but Tiger Mask dives in for a cover and an elimination. That’s rather creative, assuming you ignore Liger’s shoulders being up. Taguchi rolls Tiger Mask up for another elimination about ten seconds later as Yoshitatsu (one word for some reason) is in at #10.

In case you’ve lost track, we have Elgin, Cheeseburger, Taguchi and Yoshitatsu as the announcers do even more inside jokes. Yuji Nagata is in at #11 and grabs a quick seated armbar on Taguchi. Yoshitatsu makes the save and is immediately the most hated man in the building. Hiroshi Tenzan is in at #12 as Nagata suplexes Yoshitatsu for the elimination. Tenzan and Nagata slug it out and Corino says he missed Yoshitatsu’s elimination due to being on Twitter. Taguchi’s hip attack misses and….well I’m not sure what happens as Hiro Saito is in at #13.

The old guys get in a three way fight and Nagata is pinned, much to Corino’s chagrin. Scott Norton (a MUCH bigger deal in Japan) is in at #14 to give us a final field of Elgin (who has basically disappeared), Cheeseburger, Taguchi, Tenzan, Saito and Norton. A quick powerbomb eliminated Taguchi and everyone decides to go after Elgin….one at a time. That goes as badly as you would expect and Saito is taken out by an Elgin clothesline. Norton is eliminated a few seconds later, leaving Tenzan, Elgin and Cheeseburger.

Elgin throws Cheeseburger at Tenzan before putting Tenzan out to get us down to two. Cheeseburger hammers away and actually scores with a superkick. For some reason, Cheeseburger tries a sunset flip on a guy whose finisher is a powerbomb. The Elgin Bomb gives, uh, Elgin, the win at 25:13.

Rating: D+. The announcers made it very clear that this was about having fun instead of being a serious match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Elgin getting a win is the best option as it’s not like there were many choices here other than a bunch of legends or comedy guys. Give the win to someone who could use it and have some fun in the process. This was fine for a pre-show battle royal and that’s all it was supposed to be.

The opening video runs down the card in order, which I think I kind of like.

Tiger Mask W vs. Tiger the Dark

The announcers flat out say this is for the sake of promoting an anime, though this has potential with Kota Ibushi and ACH donning the masks respectively. Feeling out process to start and it’s a double dropkick to give us a stalemate. Back up and we get to hear the announcers explain some of the anime. Dark backflips out of the corner and hits a dropkick to set up a big flip dive out to the floor. A running discus lariat only seems to wake W up, meaning a dropkick puts Dark back on the floor.

One heck of a moonsault to the floor drops Dark but he comes right back with something like an Octopus Hold back inside. Dark gets two off a tombstone and the kickout shocks him. That snap German suplex lets you know it’s Ibushi and a tiger suplex (fitting finisher) gets two. The sitout Last Ride gives W the pin at 6:34.

Rating: C. For a match between two talented guys who are having this match to promote an anime that I have no interest in watching….I guess I’ve seen worse. Both guys are good enough and the match was fine for an opener, though it felt more like a dark match. I guess they would rather do this here than get on the crowd’s nerves by doing something less serious later and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Roppongi Vice vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are defending and along with Matt Sydal/Ricochet and ReDRagon, these teams have traded the titles since November 2014. As a bonus, the champs come to the ring with the IWGP, PWG and ROH Tag Team Titles plus custom made Superkick Party titles. They even call the Hardys out on the way to the ring as the angle continues despite them never showing up in TNA. I love that for some reason.

The challengers clean house to start and put the Bucks on the floor, sending them bailing up the ramp. That doesn’t happen in Japan though and Vice follows, only to eat double superkicks. It’s nearly a countout but we get the WWE DIVE UNDER THE ROPES AT WHAT SHOULD BE THE COUNTOUT BUT THE REFEREE IS KIND OF SLOW spot.

With a lot of trash talking, the Bucks knock them outside again as Kelly says the Bucks should be thanked for a lot of the fans here. I’m not sure I’d go that far Kevin. Rocky is told to suck it over and over (dude chill with that) before a superkick puts him down on the floor. Nick kicks Matt by mistake though and a superkick takes down a young boy. The hot tag brings in Romeo to clean house and it’s a double knee to take Matt down.

Trent puts him up in a fireman’s carry but flips him into a rack (cool spot) so Romero can hit a top rope stomp for two. Strong Zero is broken up though and it’s time for even more kicks from the Bucks. You know, because that’s what they do. Nick takes too much time on top though, allowing Trent to run the corner for a German superplex. Corino tries to talk about how this is Chaos vs. Bullet Club but of course doesn’t bother to explain what any of that means (Yes I know what it means but if you’re a new fan, that means nothing to you. That always bugs me.).

Trent misses a flip dive and lands back first on the floor in a bad looking crash, leaving Rocky to hurricanrana both Bucks at the same time. That means nothing though so let’s throw another superkick. The elevated 450 gets two on Rocky and the fans really wake up off the kickout. Four straight superkicks get two as Trent is still down. That means More Bang For Your Buck but Romero rolls Matt up as he tries the rolling fireman’s carry and Trent grabs Nick so Rocky can get the pin and the titles at 12:46.

Rating: C+. I liked the match as much as I can like a Young Bucks match with the loss making it a little bit better. Then again I have no reason to believe that the Bucks won’t get the belts back like, tomorrow, as these guys are given titles almost every single week because they get to be faces and heels at the same time for reasons that continue to elude me.

The Bucks say it doesn’t matter because they still have the rest of their titles. DO THESE GUYS EVER SELL ANYTHING???

Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Titles: David Finlay/Ricochet/Satoshi Kojima vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon vs. Bullet Club vs. Chaos

That’s the longest title I’ve ever written for a match. Finlay and company are defending and this is a gauntlet match. For some reason (which I’m sure you can understand), Bullet Club brings out some women to dance before the match. Bullet Club (Hangman Page/Yujiro Takahashi/Bad Luck Fale) vs. Chaos (Jado/Will Ospreay/Yoshi-Hashi) start things off with the Club jumping them as you would expect heels to do.

We settle down to a banged up Yoshi getting beaten down in the ring with Takahashi throwing kicks and Page getting two off a jumping DDT. A neckbreaker allows for the hot tag to Ospreay as things speed up in a hurry. Ospreay starts fast with a cartwheel moonsault over the top to take out all three members followed by a middle rope corkscrew moonsault for two on Page.

Adam’s front flip into a clothesline gets the same but a moonsault kick to the head is enough for the hot tag to Jado as things speed way up. Everything breaks down and Fale starts hurting people, which is what you’re supposed to do when you’re that size. Takahashi gets in a quick DDT for the pin on Jado at 7:36.

Los Ingobernables (Bushi/Evil/Sanada) are in next and their entrance takes forever, allowing the Club to recover. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Fale crushes Sanada for two. Takahashi gets in a good looking kick to the face in the corner but Bushi dives through the ropes to take out Page. We get something like a Conchairto with the second chair wrapped around Takahashi’s head and since that should likely kill him, a dragon sleeper makes him tap a few seconds later at 12:38.

We’re down to Los Ingobernables vs. the champs so let’s have another very long entrance. Thankfully the champs start fast with Ricochet and Finlay (Fit’s son) hitting stereo flip dives to take down some Ingobernables. We settle down to Bushi choking Finlay with a shirt but it’s off to Ricochet for one heck of a series of smooth transitions into a kick to Sanada’s face and a DDT to Bushi.

Evil comes in but gets chopped by Kojima as everything breaks down again (as it should). We get a bit of a botch with Ricochet being thrown into a Codebreaker but Bushi can’t quite get it straight. To be fair that’s almost impossible to do if you’re not the Revival. Kojima starts busting out brainbusters until Evil grabs the referee, allowing Bushi to mist Kojima for two. An STO puts Kojima away a few seconds later and we have new champs at 21:02 (total time including entrances).

Rating: B-. I’m very, very glad that they made this a gauntlet match instead of having all twelve in the ring at the same time which just didn’t need to happen. Los Ingobernables seem to be the rising stars of the company and it’s a good idea to give them some titles. That being said, the announcers basically flat out said that the titles change hands all the time and they actually would do so again the very next day. In other words, this means nothing but at least it was the right choice here.

Juice Robinson vs. Cody

Robinson used to be known as CJ Parker and Cody is of course Cody Rhodes. There’s no real story to this one other than Cody needs an opponent for his Japanese debut. Cody is part of the Bullet Club but he’s not rocking the shirt here. Eh the Bucks can superkick him later. Something I’ve always liked about this show: every time a match starts the camera zooms in on the ring. It’s just a cool visual.

A hiptoss puts Juice on the floor to start but Juice counters his dive into a belly to belly. As we look at the replay, Juice cannonballs into the Cody against the barricade for a painful looking crash. Back in and Cody grabs an Alabama Slam to take over before stopping to pose by leaning on his fist.

Corino points out that Cody has been at Wrestlemania, Final Battle and Wrestle Kingdom in the same year. That’s not bad but Cody points the Bullet Club gun at Corino, who had a big feud with his dad in ECW. A side kick drops Cody but bangs up the knee which was tweaked on the cannonball.

Juice keeps showing some great fire as he comes back with a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster (or at least some knees in the vicinity of the chest), only to have a chop block take out the knee again. That means a modified Indian Deathlock until Juice grabs a rope. Why does it always take so long for them to realize they’re right next to the ropes? Cody keeps talking trash to Corino and gets two off an elevated DDT. Juice gets in a clothesline and tries a powerbomb but the knee gives out. Cross Rhodes is good for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. I liked this way more than I was expecting to and it actually worked as a debut instead of just a regular squash. I’m not sure where they’re going with Cody vs. Corino (in this company at least) and Robinson looked WAY better than he did during any of his NXT matches. This was a lot better than I was expecting and I had fun with it. If nothing else, maybe Cody can finally live up to some of his hype.

ROH World Title: Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reilly

Cole is challenging in a Final Battle rematch and is another member of Bullet Club. They shake hands and Cole spits in his face because that’s how heels are supposed to act. Kyle has the cross armbreaker on in less than twenty seconds before grabbing a quickly broken rear naked choke. A shove off the top is enough to set up ADAM COLE BABY and the champ is down on the floor.

Kyle comes up holding his shoulder and Cole rushes it with a chair to really take over. Back in and O’Reilly fights with his legs in a smart move, though I’m not sure how long that’s going to last. It’s time to go after Cole’s leg as Corino breaks down the champ’s psychology: he has a way to beat you by working on any body part so he’ll switch around for what works at the moment.

Normally I would get annoyed at a style like that and say PICK A BODY PART but the commentary explaining the wrestler’s mindset (which we are only going to know if we’re told) is a good thing. Cole gets in a bicycle kick and they do the ROH forearm slugout before a double kick puts both guys down.

The champ easily wins a strike off and scores with a brainbuster but can’t get the cross armbreaker. Instead Adam kicks him in the head and hits back to back Last Shots (that suplex into a neckbreaker onto the knee) for two. Another kick to the shoulder sets up three straight superkicks, followed by a fourth to the back of the head. A third Last Shot gives us a new champion at 10:18, making Cole the first three time champion in ROH history.

Rating: B-. This is a situation where the backstage issues make the story a bit more logical. Apparently Kyle turned down a contract extension with ROH shortly before this show and would have been a free agent. Obviously you can’t keep the title on someone who isn’t a guarantee to be around so they did the title switch. There’s nothing wrong with that and it really was their only viable option.

As for the match itself, they did what they could in this setting but there’s a limit to how effective they can be with ten minutes. The shoulder was a fine story and played into the finish so I have no problem there. They just didn’t have the time to make this work but they did well with what they had.

Ads for upcoming shows, including two shows in California, which I believe are the first ever stand alone New Japan shows on US soil.

Tag Team Titles: Chaos vs. Guerillas of Destiny vs. G.B.H.

Chaos (Tomohiro Ishii/Toru Yano) and G.B.H. (Great Bash Heel, comprised of Tomoaki Honma/Togi Makabe) are challenging the Guerrillas (Tama Tonga/Tanga Loa), who are part of the Bullet Club. Also Yano, a comedy guy, has stolen the World Tag League trophies (owned by G.B.H.) and the title belts and maybe Corino’s wallet. Got all that? In a logical move, the Guerillas beat the heck out of Yano for stealing their belts. Where’s Repo Man when you need him?

Honma slams Loa but misses a headbutt (a trend for him), allowing Yano to unhook the corner pad and whip Honma in. It’s off to Ishii for the monster power in the form of a suplex, followed by Yano coming in and immediately tagging Tama in instead. Makabe comes in as everything breaks down with Makabe clotheslining someone in every corner. Corino talks about the high amount of F Bombs (but thankfully his only jab at WWE is someone tweeting him to say this isn’t PG) and GBH gets in ten right hands to the Guerillas’ heads.

With everyone else on the floor, Tama slides around (very slick) and jumps into a DDT on Makabe. Honma comes in and SWEARS A LOT (with Corino laughing so much he has to turn his mic off) before dropping a headbutt on Loa. Everything breaks down again with the Guerillas sending Yano outside and swearing even more. We lose Corino again thanks to four F bombs during a powerbomb on Honma for two.

Makabe powerbombs Tama to set up Honma’s top rope falling headbutt for another near fall with Ishii remembering he’s in the match and diving in for the save. Guerilla Warfare (an upside down Magic Killer) drops Makabe but Yano tags himself in from behind. Ishii gets to have the time of his life by fighting both Guerillas at the same time, only to have Yano low blow them both, setting up a rollup for the pin and the titles at 12:27.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to as the comedy was nowhere near as big of a deal as I was worried about it being. Once they gave up on the tagging (as they should have done) it got a lot more entertaining and I got into the match by the end. Above all else though, this was a great example of why English commentary helps. I would have had no idea what was up with the champions not having the belts and the trophies in general had it not been for Corino and Kelly and those are important details. That helps so much and it’s made the show that much more entertaining.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi vs. Kushida

Takahashi, part of Los Ingobernables, is challenging and was known as Kamaitachi in ROH. He came in as part of a ticking time bomb countdown so his entrance consists of a bunch of big pink balls. Yeah I’m not sure I get it either. Kushida spends a bit too much time posing and gets knocked off the corner, only to come back with a kick to the face and a HUGE flip dive off the top to the floor.

We actually get things going with the champ working on the left arm (to set up his Hoverboard Lock arm hold) but getting caught in a very fast sunset bomb. That warrants a check from the referee and thankfully Kushida is able to continue. Those head shots are always scary so it’s a relief when the people get up. A downward spiral into the middle buckle stuns Takahashi though and a Tajiri handspring elbow keeps him in trouble.

Takahashi grabs a release German suplex though and Kushida comes down on the head again, followed by what looked to be a bit of a botch off a top rope hurricanrana, which came off as more of a top rope seated senton. The champ falls outside for a top rope…..something that looked like a backsplash to a standing Kushida though it barely made contact.

Back in and Kushida opts for a kick to the head to put both guys down for a well earned breather. Another sunset bomb doesn’t work and Kushida pulls him out of the air into a cross armbreaker on the floor. I’m liking the fire from Kushida here and he stays full on face by throwing Takahashi back in instead of taking what would have been an easy countout win. Back in and some hard kicks to the arm set up the Hoverboard Lock but Takahashi guts his way out and turns it into a fireman’s carry, only to have Kushida counter into a rollup for two.

A weaker Hoverboard Lock doesn’t work so they just punch each other in the face really hard. Kushida heads up top (probably not the best plan) and grabs another Hoverboard Lock, only to be countered into a super victory roll for a close near fall. Takahashi sends him head first into the corner and grabs a fireman’s carry into something like a spinning Emerald Flowsion for the pin and the title at 16:53.

Rating: B+. Here’s the thing: really don’t like either guy and I was dreading this match more than almost anything else. That being said, it’s still the match of the night so far as I was getting into the idea of Kushida wanting it to be a fair wrestling match and Takahashi going for the head for the sake of the title. It told a good story, though the ending felt a bit out of nowhere. Still though, really good stuff.

Never Openweight Title: Katsuyori Shibata vs. Hirooki Goto

Shibata is defending. If the previous match was one I was almost dreading the most, this was the one I was certainly dreading the most. The Never style is one I really don’t care for, though I understand what they’re going for with it. The announcers push the idea that Goto, who is a two time Intercontinental Champion, a three time New Japan Cup winner and a G1 Climax winner, has never won the big one. Uh, right.

Shibata slaps him in the chest to start so Goto grabs a headlock. That earns him a trip to the mat in a top wristlock as Shibata wants to make up for his own taped shoulder. Now the announcers aren’t sure how to define success because it might be something other than winning. So they’re ripping off the Dolph Ziggler story? And this is supposed to be the best in the world?

A shortarm scissors keeps Goto down but he powers out and starts with some YES Kicks. As tends to be to my annoyance, Shibata no sells and forearms Goto in the face. Yes we know he’s tough. Find something new to do. Shibata no sells a suplex but finally stays down when his bad neck is rammed into Goto’s knee.

Goto actually scores with some clotheslines but runs into an STO to put both guys down. Back up and Shibata gets in his rear naked choke to pull Goto right back down to the mat. You can feel the audience getting worried here and a BIG sigh of relief when Goto makes the bottom rope.

More hard strikes don’t get us anywhere but Goto’s suplex into a Side Effect gets two. Goto starts unloading on Shibata with even more strikes, followed by back to back GTR’s (Nightmare on Helms Street with Shibata’s head going into Goto’s knee) for the pin and the title at 16:23.

Rating: B-. Ignoring the story not making sense given Goto’s title history, I’m still not a fan of this tough man style. I know it’s a throwback to the old school strong style and all that jazz but I just don’t care for it. This is a case of me really just not being the audience for a style though it’s entertaining enough. Not bad at all but nothing I’m ever going to want to watch again.

Long video on Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Tetsuya Naito without a translation so I’m kind of guessing here. From what I can tell, Naito (defending here) has been corrupted and doesn’t care about tradition and honor but is awesome enough that it doesn’t matter. Tanahashi is all about the company and being great in the past but time is catching up with him. He’s beaten Naito is a lot better now, meaning this is a huge challenge. Assuming that’s the case, I’ve heard far worse.

Intercontinental Title: Tetsuya Naito vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi

Naito is defending and is the leader of Los Ingobernables. Tanahashi debuts new music here and it really doesn’t sound great. I can barely remember his old song but I’d bet it was better than this. There’s no contact in the first minute as Naito isn’t interested in a lockup. They lock up over a minute and a half in and it’s Tanahashi being sent to the floor, leaving Naito to pose on the mat as is his custom.

Back in and Tanahashi actually pulls hair before dropkicking the champ down. HIT THAT AIR GUITAR BABY! Naito starts in on the leg like a heel should, including throwing the boot to the referee the champ can get in a dropkick to the knee. That’s a new one. A reverse Figure Four doesn’t last long and Tanahashi fights back, including a middle rope flipping splash for two. This has been a fast ten minutes so far and I’m kind of surprised by that. It’s too early for the Texas Cloverleaf but Tanahashi is cool with a dragon screw leg whip over the middle rope.

A Sling Blade on the apron (which may or may not be the hardest part of the ring) sets up a high crossbody to the floor with Tanahashi landing on Naito’s head for a NASTY looking landing. Back in and Naito basically falls into the ropes to crotch Tanahashi, setting up a high angle side slam for two more.

We hit a leglock on Tanahashi for a long time but he’s finally able to turn it over into a deep Texas Cloverleaf. Another rope is grabbed so Tanahashi goes with back to back Sling Blades, only to miss the High Fly Flow. Destino is countered into a rolling neckbreaker to put both guys down again. Back up (again) and they kick at the knees with Tanahashi getting the better of it off a dragon suplex.

The High Fly Flow (What knee?) hits Naito’s back but the second attempt (No really, what knee?) hits Naito’s knees. Thankfully the champ holds his knees and can’t follow up. After a bit of time on the mat it’s a reverse tornado DDT followed by Destino to give Naito the completely clean pin at 25:43.

Rating: A-. I could have gone for a bit more of the knees playing into the finish but this was a great back and forth match with the leg work building up throughout. The idea of both guys working the same body part was interesting and Naito winning completely clean is the EXACTLY right call. Tanahashi is forty years old and has more titles than he knows what to do with so this isn’t a career breaker. Also as a bonus, the match never felt long. That can get old in a hurry but it wasn’t a problem here.

Kelly plays up the idea that the ace of the era (Tanahashi) might be out of gas. That could be an interesting story as it’s what we’re seeing with Cena over in WWE.

We hit the recap video for the main event and they actually put in subtitles. Basically Okada is the defending champion and the new ace of the promotion while Kenny Omega (leader of the Bullet Club) shocked New Japan by winning the G1 Climax. Okada says he’s the man entrusted with New Japan and wrestling’s futures and he’s not going to let someone like Omega mess with those responsibilities for his own gain. As a sidenote: it’s really weird to hear English in these things.

Ok before we get to this thing, let’s pause for a minute. As you probably know, this match has gotten INSANE praise online with Meltzer calling it possibly the best match of all time. While I’ve learned a long time ago to take everything Meltzer says with a ten gallon bag of salt, I’m going to go out of my way to be as impartial as I can on this one. I know it’s big and I know it’s important but I’m curious to see how much of the hype it deserves. Like, I haven’t heard a match this hyped up since……oh since the last Wrestle Kingdom.

IWGP World Title: Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada

Okada is defending but Omega gets a big Terminator style entrance, complete with Omega acting out the scene where the Terminator beats people up and steals their clothes. Omega comes in with the half mask and shotgun but NO SUNGLASSES THAT HE PUT ON IN THE VIDEO. Well that’s minus half a star right there. Seriously does no one care about continuity? Also I don’t believe you clean with a gun so minus another half star for that.

They lock up at just under a minute in before hitting the mat for the opening wrestling sequence. Omega takes him down with a headlock and they’re definitely taking their time with this one (as they should). Okada comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and we hear about a cultural difference as Okada is making his second defense of a title he won in JUNE. I know the argument is that you don’t hot potato New Japan titles around between the same people (other than almost every other title) but that’s getting into UFC territory.

Both guys escape finishers and Omega spits in Okada’s face (WAY too common a thing tonight) before taking a breather on the floor. Back in and a big boot drops Omega, who is sent right back outside. An Orton elevated DDT makes things even worse for Kenny and….it’s table time, though the announcers point out that Omega put Okada through a table at one point.

Omega is sent over the barricade and Okada adds in a running crossbody as we hear that more foreign fans are watching live than ever before. No sarcasm: that’s awesome for both NJPW and wrestling in general. Back in and we actually hit a chinlock for a bit before Kenny pops up for something like a running Fameasser. A running knee to the ribs and a hurricanrana put Okada to the floor.

That means the rise of the Terminator pose and a big (very big) flip dive to take the champion out. We hit a one arm camel clutch until Okada grabs the rope and hits a high angle AA to get a breather. A modified STF sends Omega to the ropes and Okada is getting frustrated. As the champ gets back up, I need to point out Corino being great on commentary by trying to explain the wrestler’s mindset here. You NEVER get that enough in most wrestling companies but it’s incredibly valuable.

Omega gets in a backbreaker and baseball slides Okada over the barricade to keep working on the back. A springboard moonsault over the top almost overshoots Okada in a rather impressive display of athleticism. It didn’t make great contact but it looked awesome. We crank up the violence a bit with Omega putting the table on top of Okada for a running double stomp from the apron.

Kenny gets two off a powerbomb and it’s time to get frustrated. A Regal Roll followed by a middle rope moonsault gets two and there’s a large cut on Okada’s back. Okada puts him on the top for a dropkick out to the floor as the champ keeps staying in there, waiting on Omega’s mistake. Neither guy can hit a finisher from the apron through the table (that thing better break) and before I can finish typing that, Omega is backdropped over the top and through said table.

After we make sure Omega isn’t dead, Okada hits one heck of a missile dropkick for two. With some warning from the Bucks, Kenny blocks the Rainmaker and grabs the big spot of the match with a dragon superplex. Looked painful but it’s hardly this amazing move that will never be topped. Omega scores with a knee, only to walk into that gorgeous dropkick from the champ. A running knee to Okada’s head looks to set up the One Winged Angel but Okada reverses into a tombstone for a delayed two.

The crowd is WAY into this (which makes me wonder what the difference is between this and an opening match where “they’re showing respect to the athletes”) and you can hear them gasp when the Rainmaker gets a near fall. One heck of a shotgun dropkick sends Omega into the corner where the Bucks tell him that he can’t be beaten. Ignore him laying on his back with his eyes closed.

Kenny pops up and reverses a tombstone into a modified version of his own and both guys are down long enough to look at the crowd for a bit. They slug it out again until Omega snaps off a dragon suplex, followed by a Shining Wizard for a VERY close two. Kenny STILL can’t hit the One Winged Angel as Okada escapes and hits a hard clothesline. Oh wait: the RAINMAKER (Does capitalizing it mean it’s something other than a hard clothesline?).

Omega makes the mistake of grabbing his hand while kneeing Omega in the head, setting up a third Rainmaker. Another tombstone is countered into a jumping knee to the face but Okada counters the Angel AGAIN into the jumping tombstone. The fourth Rainmaker (if I EVER hear a New Japan fan complain about WWE wrestlers repeating finishers, I’m going to have a very hearty laugh) finally ends Omega at 46:17.

Rating: A. It’s too long and the Rainmaker was used too much. Those are my only criticisms of it, unless you count New Japan fans over hyping ANOTHER Okada match at Wrestle Kingdom. Yes it’s great and a classic but six stars and the greatest match of all time? Really? If you cut off about six to seven minutes here and there, it probably goes up to a higher rating but at the moment, it’s just excellent and one of the best matches I’ve seen in a long time.

I’m interested in the fact that they didn’t have Omega hit the One Winged Angel. That sounds like they’re setting something up for the future and I’m interested in seeing if that’s the way they’re going down the line. Okada winning doesn’t seem like the best idea as it doesn’t fit the last year of storytelling but if they’re setting up something for WAY down the line (and NJPW loves to do that), I’m not sure I get this one. Great match though.

Gedo (Okada’s manager) and Okada talk about taking New Japan global in a speech that I don’t understand (though Corino translates part of it).

The English commentary ends and we get some shots of the Japanese announcers wrapping it up.

Overall Rating: A-. Let’s get this out of the way: this show is long. Like it’s almost Wrestlemania long. Unfortunately, that makes it a bit hard to sit through and leaves you wanting to pick out things that could have been cut. In this case, it’s probably part of the main event and maybe make the Six Man Title match a regular one fall match, though I like the gauntlet style better than having a bunch of people out there at once and no one being able to do anything.

As for the good, there really isn’t a bad match on this show and that doesn’t happen. There are however a bunch of matches that are just ok or slightly above average and that brings it down a bit. The show isn’t something I’m ever going to watch again and it’s probably going to be gone from my head in about three days, as is the case with most of these shows. That’s true because of one point and it’s the reason I don’t watch more New Japan: I don’t have a connection to it.

For me, wrestling is a long form story. There are characters I’ve watched for years and I care about what happens to them. New Japan, partially just due to the language barrier (which again, was GREATLY reduced thanks to Corino and Kelly, who weren’t great but did exactly what they were supposed to do), doesn’t offer me that, at least not without a long time being spent watching them.

That’s the difference between WWE and New Japan: one is based on storytelling and character development and the other is based on in ring work. What people so often overlook, and what might get on my nerves most about wrestling fans (and people in general) is that they so often feel the need to bash you over the head for not knowing what REAL wrestling (or anything for that matter) is because it’s not the style they like.

It’s the same reason I take Meltzer’s ratings with a grain of salt: he likes Japanese wrestling a lot and isn’t big on the WWE style. Why people think that’s a bad thing isn’t clear but any reviewer does it. I’m a bigger fan of the simple stories that you get on NXT and Smackdown and I care more about advancing those stories than having a great match (though that’s important too). You can like both and still be a wrestling fan, which is the case here. I liked a lot of this show but there’s no emotional connection for me because it’s just not my style.

The show, as usual, was a lot of fun and very entertaining but I’m not likely going to watch more of it until next year. Wrestle Kingdom is easily the biggest non-WWE show of the year and it’s certainly bigger than a lot of WWE shows. I’ll be watching it every year because it deserves the attention for offering some of the best wrestling in the world and entertaining me every time I watch it, even if I don’t find it as great as some people.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Main Event
Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries

I’m really curious to see if Main Event trolls us like Raw has been doing in recent weeks. I know we’ll be seeing some Roman Reigns stuff but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be any more interesting here. As usual it’s going to come down to whatever original stuff they have to offer here and that can be all over the place. Let’s get to it.

Ariya Daivari vs. Lince Dorado

So much for this week. Lince flips out of a wristlock to start and sends Ariya outside before grabbing an armbar of his own. Daivari stomps him down in the corner, only to get caught by a spinning crossbody out of the corner. It’s too early for the shooting star press though and Dorado is sent head first into the post. The Magic Carpetless Ride (frog splash) ends Dorado at 4:29.

Rating: D+. If they could find two less interesting cruiserweights, I’m really not sure I want to see them. This was a really average match that was pulled down by how dull both guys really are. Neither is interesting but for some reason they both have jobs and regularly appear on TV. I know you need jobbers but could you find someone better for TV matches?

Video on Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman.

To Raw for the first time.

Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

Last man standing, meaning Sami is about to die. Sami gets in a jab and tries some kendo stick shots but Braun just breaks it over his leg. Another stick gets about the same treatment and the moonsault off the barricade is pulled out of the air. A few rams into the post have Strowman staggered until he punches Sami to block the diving DDT. Some clotheslines drop Sami, whose offense is shrugged off over and over again.

Back with Sami being sent off the ramp as the match goes out of the arena, meaning the fans can’t see. As you might expect, this earns some widespread booing. Sami finally sends Braun into the equipment cases so Strowman throws him on top of them. Strowman THROWS A CASE AT HIM and thankfully it doesn’t cause a bad case of death.

Sami cracks him in the back with a chair as they stagger back into the arena. That just earns Zayn a toss onto the stage, followed by a whip into the screen. Zayn chairs him again and Braun is staggered, followed by a crossbody to put Strowman through some tables for a six count but Strowman is reeling.

Sami swings again but Braun grabs the chair and drags him up onto the ramp in another scary power display. The powerslam on the floor gives Braun a seven so Strowman just unloads on him with knees to the head and right hands. Another powerslam on the floor ends Sami at 15:48.

Rating: B. I had a lot more fun with this one than I was expecting to as they gave Sami all the offense they realistically could. It’s also a good sign that Strowman is rapidly getting the hang of wrestling like a monster instead of just standing around and doing power stuff. They beat the heck out of each other here and Strowman selling yet still shrugging the offense off was done quite well.

Sami does a stretcher job but Strowman turns it over.

Back to Raw again.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Owens is banned from ringside, Reigns is defending and loses the title if he gets counted out or disqualified. The champ runs Jericho over to start as the fans are split on Reigns. A middle rope dropkick gets two for Jericho so Reigns comes back with his string of clotheslines. Reigns tries the apron dropkick but crashes into the post instead, giving Jericho a near countout as we take a break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and hitting his modified belly to back suplex for two. The Superman Punch is blocked but the Lionsault hits knees. The other finishers are broken up until Jericho grabs the Walls. That lasts as long as you would expect the Walls to last until Jericho goes up top again, only to dive into the Superman Punch for a near fall.

Another spear is broken up and Jericho takes off a turnbuckle pad. That sets up the old Eddie Guerrero grab the belt and pretend to get hit with it spot. The referee doesn’t buy it so instead the Codebreaker gets two. Jericho goes into the exposed buckle and the spear retains the title at 13:06.

Rating: C+. The ending actually deflated me and that’s not a good thing about the top face on a show. There’s just no reason for Reigns to keep the title at this point and everyone has to know it at this point. He’s not helping the title and he doesn’t gain anything by holding it so why keep doing it this way? I mean, other than as a middle finger to the fans who want ANYONE else to hold the title.

Bo Dallas/Darren Young vs. Shining Stars

Epico and Young hit the mat to start before it’s already off to Primo, who walks into a string of slams. A fired up Dallas runs Primo over on the floor and we take a break. Back with Dallas screaming at us to believe in him, allowing the cousins to take over. We get what sounds like a JOBBERS chant as Primo starts in on the arm. A slingshot legdrop sets up another armbar as Aries suggests a thumb to the eye. Dallas collides with Primo and winds up on the floor as everything breaks down. Primo grabs a rollup on Young and pulls the trunks for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D. I liked Dallas’ fire but then again I like almost anything he does out there. The Shining Stars are starting to remind me of Lance Storm: they might be technically sound but that doesn’t mean I have any interest in watching what they’re doing. Young continues to be a warm body and that’s why he’s still on Main Event.

One more Raw segment to wrap us up.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show with a lawn chair, a table and a man standing in place with a sign over his face. Owens introduces Jericho as his first guest and he’s not happy. See, the fans were chanting for Goldberg just a few minutes ago and that means TAMPA JUST MADE THE LIST.

Jericho has breaking news: he’s the third (sixth) entrant in the Royal Rumble! Owens isn’t pleased but Jericho says no matter what happens, they’re still the champ. Kevin still doesn’t want to do it but he gets cut off by Goldberg’s full entrance. Goldberg throws the chair out of the ring and Jericho isn’t impressed. Jericho: “You know what happens when you destroy the set?” Goldberg: “YEAH! Spear, Jackhammer.”

Owens throws out the rest of the set and the brawl is teased until Paul Heyman breaks it up. He says the Rumble will be elimination, repeat, elimination, repeat but Roman Reigns interrupts as well. That brings Reigns to Lesnar but now it’s Braun coming out to take the mic from a cowering Heyman. Owens and Jericho bail to the floor and Strowman is in the Rumble too. A double spear drops Strowman and posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. What exactly were you expecting out of this one? The show was another slog through the disaster that Raw has become with some very lame original matches to go with it. I really wasn’t feeling this one and I have no idea why I’d want to keep watching this show if it wasn’t so quick with all the recaps.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Oh dang it 1995 WWF still exists. This is that year that no one likes to talk about and you have to fly through it as fast as you can or you might risk seeing something on it. The big twist this year is that the intervals in the Rumble are only 60 seconds, so the whole match is like 40 minutes long. The other problem is that Diesel is WWF Champion here. The good news is that he’s facing Bret Hart, one of the two men capable of dragging an awesome match out of him. Let’s get to it.

We open with the big deal about tonight’s show: Pamela Anderson arrives. She’ll be escorting the winner of the Rumble to the ring at Wrestlemania. A bunch of guys arrive to greet her.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Pamela Anderson has been given a lot of gifts from various wrestlers. One of the running gags on this show is that Pamela clearly doesn’t want to be here at all and has these “GET ME OUT OF HERE” looks on her face the whole night. Todd Pettingill tries to hit on her and completely fails of course.

Jeff says it’s time to celebrate.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

Post match Taker beats up the druids and has a staredown with King Kong Bundy. During the staring, IRS steals the Urn. There’s the launch of the feud and Bundy beats up Taker for awhile.

Diesel doesn’t have much to say about his match with Bret.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka leave Bigelow in the ring, where Lawrence Taylor, NFL legend, laughs at him. Bigelow shoves him down, and there’s Wrestlemania people.

We get a recap of the 94 Rumble, focusing on Diesel’s dominance and Shawn helping to eliminate him.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Luger says he wants the title. Lex, it’s been over for you for like eight months now. Let it go dude.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Here’s Pamela Anderson to watch the Rumble at ringside and MAN does she look miserable.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade because as good as the world title match is, the Rumble sucks it right back down. IRS vs. Taker isn’t anything good but it’s much more boring than bad. The opener and tag matches are good so I can’t complain much there. 1995 would be AWFUL for the most part though, mainly due to all of the problems you could see coming in the Rumble. Still though, not an awful show by any stretch and it has a great world title match.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2002
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for a showdown as we have what would have been a dream match back in the 80s, assuming it could have actually been booked. Tonight we have Brock Lesnar vs. Hulk Hogan in what could either make Lesnar look like a killer or wind up killing what little heat he’s built up over the last few months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a newsreel style video about Hogan’s career, which is somehow contained in about a minute. This switches to a much more modern look at Lesnar’s brief career, which is a pretty nice way to set up the match.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Angle takes him down by the arm to start but Cena gets in a shoulder to put him on the floor for a breather. Back in and Angle sends him outside before a ram into the steps allows Cena to slap the steel instead of actually having his head touch it. Cena’s early comeback is cut off in a hurry via a belly to belly and Angle drives him into the corner as this is one sided so far.

A chinlock slows things down again and the rolling German suplexes make things even worse for Cena. The third is blocked though and Cena gets in a DDT for a breather. Another comeback is countered with the ankle lock but Cena rolls through that as well. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and here’s Benoit to Crossface Cena for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but Cena has hit the ground on fire and looks like he belongs in the ring with these guys. The key thing here is that Cena has no business hanging with someone like Angle but he does well enough to make it work, especially due to the intensity. He’s doing basic offense well enough and the intensity carries him even further, which is a great sign for him going forward.

Cue Mysterio, Guerrero and Edge for ensuing saves/beatdowns.

Post break Benoit and Guerrero yell a lot because Benoit is the best submission wrestler on the show. Angle shows up to protest but Eddie makes peace and proposes a six man for later. Angle: “That’s fine but I thought you wanted real competition.”

Mark Henry vs. Reverend D-Von

Henry is all evil by jumping the preacher from behind as I try to remember why in the world these two are fighting. D-Von trips him up though and gets in a double stomp, only to have Henry grab the boot to stop a regular stomp. Henry knocks Batista off the apron and hits a side kick (!?!?!) followed by a powerslam (that’s more like it) for the quick pin.

Batista beats Henry down but Rikishi makes the save, setting up a match.

Rikishi vs. Batista

Batista shrugs off some right hands and hits a full nelson slam to start fast. Some forearms to the back have Rikishi in trouble until Batista walks into a DDT. The charge is stopped but D-Von hits his buddy by mistake, setting up a superkick to give Rikishi the pin.

Batista is ticked off at the mistake.

Brock goes into Hogan’s locker room despite Heyman’s protests. After a break they go into the locker room with Brock asking if Hogan wants to do this. Not only does Hulk want to, but if he was Brock, he’d put the title shot on the line. Brock is in. Heyman: “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO???” He goes on about how this guy is different because Hogan has overcome the odds for twenty years. Brock thinks Heyman is losing confidence in him.

Torrie Wilson jumps Nidia. I’m sure the fact that Torrie is in lingerie is just a detail.

Billy and Chuck vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore

These teams have been having issues on Velocity as of late. Hurricane trips Chuck down to start and a Shining Wizard gets two. Billy comes in from behind and hammers away on Shannon to take over. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in Hurricane for a failed chokeslam. Instead it’s a double flapjack for two on the superhero and Tazz makes sex jokes because that’s what you do when there’s a gay gimmick in the ring.

A double knockdown allows for the real hot tag to Shannon for the house cleaning as everything breaks down. Rico is sent to the floor (Tazz: “There go the sideburns!”) and Billy shoves him in the way of a Hurricane dive. Back in and Billy and Chuck load up a Doomsday Device (Code Red), only to have Shannon turn it into a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and again, it’s a good idea to have a new team win some matches. Well, I mean it would be if there were TITLES for them to win but this leaves you with a tag match for the sake of a tag match. That’s fine for some filler, but if this is supposed to be anything serious they need to make some major adjustments.

Edge, Mysterio and Cena are getting ready with Cena freaking Edge out a bit. Mysterio says he’ll take care of Angle tonight.

Kane is coming back. Shouldn’t that be on Raw? Or is he the subject of another “bidding war”?

Heyman can’t talk Stephanie into changing the stipulation for Lesnar vs. Hogan.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/John Cena/Rey Mysterio

This has serious potential. Cena has a bad shoulder coming in. Thankfully we take the break BEFORE the opening bell but come back with this joined in progress. Eh I’ll take what I can get. Back with Angle working over Edge in the corner but Benoit walks into a flapjack. Mysterio comes in and hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner, only to be taken down into the corner for the heel beatdown sequence.

Again it doesn’t last long though as Rey headscissors him down and brings Cena back in for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down for a bit and Cena winds up getting beaten down again with Benoit picking him apart as only Benoit can. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle hits a rare spinebuster for two.

As is always the case though, the heels make the mistake of going for their finisher, allowing Cena to superplex Eddie down. The hot tag brings in Edge and everything breaks down again with everyone getting to hit a single spot before someone else takes them out. I love that kind of sequence. The Angle Slam drops Cena but Kurt’s trash talk sets up the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C+. This could have easily gone on longer but I don’t think they wanted to have Cena out there that long, which I can understand. The faces looked great here and I don’t think the heels really need to prove themselves that much. You can see the Smackdown Six being formed though and that’s nothing but great for all of us.

Angle is livid about getting pinned by a 12 year old and promises to take care of Rey later. He accurately points out that Mysterio wasn’t legal so the pin shouldn’t have counted.

XXX plug.

Jamie Noble/Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson/Kidman

Genders have to match here. Thankfully the men start after breaking up an attempt at a catfight. Kidman dropkicks Noble into the corner as Tazz reminds us that Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion. Jamie is sent outside but dives back in to save Nidia from the spanking. Torrie comes in for some slapping but Jamie trips her up, allowing Nidia to grab a rollup for the pin. This was nothing.

Stacy and Dawn Marie are catty to each other and sex with Vince is implied. Dawn gives Stacy some papers to give to Stephanie but she hides them under the couch.

After a break, Stephanie comes in to get the papers but Stacy says she sent Dawn after Stephanie. It’s a ruse of course and Bischoff pops up to take the papers while Stephanie laughs. I love that Stacy’s plan doesn’t include waiting until the cameras are gone.

Hogan knows Lesnar is stronger and younger but he has the Hulkamaniacs in his corner and is ready to fight.

Hulk Hogan vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner gets Rock at Summerslam. We get the big staredown to start and Hogan can’t do the shove out of the lockup. On the other hand, Lesnar shoves Hogan so hard that the bandana flies off. Brock’s slam is no sold and he misses a charge into the corner. Hulk drops the elbows for little effect as we hear about Hogan slamming Andre. Lesnar takes a breather on the floor and uses a Heyman distraction to crotch Hogan against the post.

Back in and the beating continues as Heyman keeps shouting HE’S DIFFERENT. For some reason Lesnar heads outside to set up the announcers’ table, earning himself a ram into the post. Cole: “That is why Hogan has been successful for twenty years in this business!” Because his opponents are idiots? A powerbomb gets two for Lesnar but it’s already Hulk Up time.

The big boot is pretty much no sold so Hogan does it again and drops the leg but the kickout puts Hulk on his feet. A third big boot looks to set up a second legdrop but Heyman grabs the boot. There’s the F5 but Brock doesn’t cover. Instead we hit the bearhug with Hogan bleeding from the mouth for the knockout.

Rating: D+. The ending was a really good symbolic way to have Hogan lose as he always survived something like that but the build to it was really lacking. This felt like it didn’t have a middle with Hogan dominating to start, Lesnar getting in a little offense and then the finish. It’s far from terrible and it accomplished the necessary goal but it was hardly anything special.

Post match Lesnar chairs Hogan in the head, putting him out of action until February. Lesnar rubs the blood on his chest as the ROCKY chants go nowhere to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but the important thing here is you can see what they’re trying to accomplish. There’s clearly a goal going forward and that’s really all that matters at this point. The youth movement is in full swing and with Hogan presumably out of the way for a long time, there’s a good chance that we could get somewhere in the near future. That being said, there’s a lot of bad stuff going on as well, by which I mean Stephanie vs. Bischoff. They kept it shorter this week but dang it brings the show to a grinding halt when it shows up. There’s good stuff here but it’s not quite good enough.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And they still make my head spin.