Evolve
Date: April 2, 2025
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Peter Rosenberg, Robert Stone

It’s pretty clear that WWE is actually doing something with this show, as Swipe Right showed up on this week’s NXT, which is more than you would have gotten from LVL Up throughout its history. This show isn’t exactly great, but it’s the definition of something that is quick and to the point, which I can always go for in wrestling. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Brinley Reece is a big fitness person but there is more to her than that.

Zayda Steele is the real deal (see, it rhymes) and she always has to have her makeup and hair done perfectly. She was the first WWE ID signing and she’s ready for it all.

Brinley Reece vs. Zayda Steel

They fight over arm control to start as Jackson Drake is in the VIP Area. Steel fights up and slaps her in the face but gets taken down by the arm for her efforts. Reece tries a backslide but flips Steel over for a faceplant (that’s a new one), only for Steel to knock her back down. A kick to the head gives Steele two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex and Reece makes the clothesline comeback for two. Steel’s rollup with tights gets the same, only to walk into Breeces To Pieces (TKO) for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: C. I was surprised by Steel losing here as it felt like she was being presented as a big deal. At the same time though, Reece is someone who has been around for a bit longer and has something more of a track record. You can tell that WWE sees something in Steel and she looked ok in there, with the stuck up character working well enough.

Post match Swipe Right come out to drag Steel out.

Zara Zakher tries to fire up Kylie Rae, who is a bit scared of Wendy Choo, but she’s ready to fight. Or at least try.

Keanu Carver is always ready and thinks he could be the face of the company.

Luca Crusifino, who is the consigliere of the D’Angelo Family. He’s here on a mission to push the Family’s impact on Evolve.

Keanu Carver vs. Luca Crusifino

Crusifino hammers away to start and grabs a quickly broken sleeper. A slingshot shoulder has Carver down in the corner for a Cannonball as the hot start continues. Another slingshot is cut off though and Carver hits him in the face to take over. Carver sends him crashing out to the floor and we hit the chinlock back inside. That’s broken up so Carver hits a heck of a running basement forearm. Crusifino tries to fight up but his back gives out, only for Carver to miss a running shoulder in the corner. The Lawbreaker (Codebreaker) sets up a running boot for two on Carver, who is looking annoyed. Carver Pounces the heck out of him, setting up a running twisting powerslam for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C+. Putting these younger stars over someone from higher up on the food chain, event a few steps up, is a good idea. Carver is being presented as a big deal around here and that is how you turn rookies into somebodies. Crusifino isn’t going to be hurt by this loss as he and the Family are already dealing with Dark State on NXT. Everyone wins. Well not Crusifino but you get the idea.

Masyn Holiday vs. Chantel Monroe

Holiday runs her over to start and then does it again for a bonus. A hiptoss takes Monroe to the apron, where a pull of the hair has her more than a bit panicked. Monroe fights back and works on the arm a bit before grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Holiday hits some running shoulders but Monroe takes her down by the arm again. A rollup with trunks pins Holiday at 4:31.

Rating: C-. This was the first match where it felt like you were seeing two people who weren’t exactly experienced veterans in there. You have to start somewhere and they need experience, which was on display here. The match wasn’t terrible or even bad, but it felt rather basic and there wasn’t much in the way of energy, which isn’t a good combination.

Post match Monroe says she’s coming for the WWE ID Women’s Title.

We get a sitdown between Kali Armstrong and Dani Palmer, with Armstrong saying Palmer should be on the ground like Armstrong is going to leave her next week. Palmer says she missed a dive a few weeks ago but they should be working together. Armstrong says that’s a loser mentality, but Palmer gets in her face and says Armstrong isn’t good enough to back up these threats. Violence is promised next week. Palmer wasn’t great here but Armstrong showed more presence than Holiday and Monroe combined.

Joe Coffey vs. Harlem Lewis

They fight over a lockup to start before Coffey snaps off some armdrags. Coffey is pulled out of the air in quite the power display and Lewis sends him throat first into the top rope. Lewis stomps away and runs him over for a few near falls. Coffey fights out of a chinlock and hits a running shoulder. A spinning high crossbody gives Coffey two and another crossbody takes both of them to the floor. Coffey punches the post by mistake though and his hand is banged up. Back in and the hand gives out, allowing Lewis to hit a Jackhammer for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C+. I know that they aren’t that popular and I can get why but what the heck has happened to Gallus? The team, including Coffey, was a big enough deal in NXT that they should be better than this, but they just aren’t anymore. It’s weird seeing Coffey, who headlined two of the three NXT UK Takeovers, losing to a rookie, but points to Lewis for looking good in his big chance.

Kylie Rae vs. Wendy Choo

Choo pulls back her offer of a handshake to start so Rae takes her to the mat for a headscissors. Choo stands up to escape and grabs a headlock as commentary talks about how scary Choo really is. Back up and Rae flips over her, setting up a quick dropkick. Choo takes her down with a neckbreaker but Rae is back up with another comeback.

The Cannonball gets two but Choo plants her down again. Rae rolls out of the corner and hits a basement superkick, only for Choo to do an Undertaker sit up. Rae says she isn’t afraid of Choo and hits another superkick, setting up a crossface. Choo rolls out and hits a full nelson slam, setting up the Dirt Nap for the win at 6:15.

Rating: C. Choo, or at least what she is currently doing, is the definition of someone I don’t get, as the whole sleep deal has never done anything for me either in NXT or Evolve. She’s talented on her own but instead we’re stuck with…whatever this whole deal is supposed to be. On the other hand you have Rae, who is one of the bigger names coming in for this show and is kind of feeling more like a jobber to the stars thus far.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was focusing on having some of the newer stars getting some big wins and that is what needs to happen eventually. It doesn’t need to take place in every match, but stuff like this is important for their elevation in WWE. This show continues to fly by every week and things are starting to come together, which is nice to see for such a new series.

Results
Brinley Reece b. Zayda Steel – Breeces To Pieces
Keanu Carver b. Luca Crusifino – Running powerslam
Chantel Monroe b. Masyn Holiday – Rollup with trunks
Harlem Lewis b. Joe Coffey – Jackhammer
Wendy Choo b. Kylie Rae – Dirt Nap

 

 

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NXT
Date: April 1, 2025
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Booker T., Corey Graves

It’s another title show as Shawn Spears is defending the North American Title against Ricky Saints. Other than that, we need to find out some of the matches for Stand & Deliver as we are just over two weeks away from the biggest show of the year. There is a good chance that we find out some of those matches this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Stephanie Vaquer to get things going for a chat with Ava. After Ava praises her for her recent efforts, she announces that Vaquer has agreed to vacate the Women’s North American Title. Therefore, the new champion will be crowned in a six woman ladder match at Stand & Deliver (ERG), with qualifying matches beginning tonight.

Hold on though as Vaquer says she will give up the title if she gets to pick the challenger for the Women’s Title. Cue Jordynne Grace, who says she wants us to have the title match the fans are demanding. Cue Jaida Parker, who says she dropped Grace last week, but Grace brings up Parker losing to Vaquer last week. The brawl is on, with Grace LAUNCHING one of them over the top. Parker backs off a bit and a match seems likely. As usual, Parker feels like a star and that is going to take her places.

Trick Williams wants to face Oba Femi at Stand & Deliver.

Femi arrives and is ready to deal with Williams tonight.

The women’s locker room bickers over the ladder match.

Women’s North American Title Qualifying Match: Zaria vs. Lash Legend

Zaria actually loses a test of strength to start but gets her over with a sunset flip. They chop it out, with Legend’s getting quite the response. Legend knocks her down again but Zaria grabs a victory roll for two. Back up and a pump kick sends Zaria outside, where a lot of bickering ensues as we take a break.

We come back with Legend getting frustrated as Zaria makes the comeback, including a kick to the face in the corner. Zaria’s middle rope crossbody is pulled out of the air but she reverses a powerbomb into a hurricanrana. A German suplex drops Legend again but she’s right back with a chokeslam for two. Zaria is back up with a spear and the F5 finishes at 11:45.

Rating: C. Maybe I’m missing something with Zaria but there isn’t much to her that is keeping me interested at the moment. She’s a powerhouse but that’s not really making her stand out. At the same time, Legend has come a VERY long way and looked like a star here. I could have gone for her winning, which is something I never would have bet on just a year or so ago.

Josh Briggs and Yoshiki Inamura want to get to Stand & Deliver but Wes Lee, Tyriek Igwe and Tyson DuPont interrupt. Arguing ensues and Inamura challenges Lee. Game seems to be on.

Kelani Jordan seems interested in getting into the ladder match but Roxanne Perez comes in to say she wants to win the title so she’ll have every women’s title in NXT. Ava puts them in a qualifying match tonight.

The D’Angelo Family has gone looking for information on Dark State. They have found out the members: Dion Lennox, Osiris Griffin, Cutler James, Saquon Shugars. We get mini bios on them, most of which involve college athletics and intelligence. Tony D’Angelo sees potential in them, but has to calm Stacks down. The last plan Stacks put together didn’t go so well, but Stacks says he trusts D’Angelo. Tension seems to be high. This was a creative way to introduce the members rather than just having commentary say what’s going on.

Hank And Tank have new gear, courtesy of Pretty Deadly, but they’re not sure it’s the right look.

The members of the Culling want Shawn Spears to succeed tonight.

No Quarter Catch Crew vs. Hank And Tank

Hank And Tank are in their regular gear rather than the Pretty Deadly attire. Evolve’s Swipe Right is sitting in the front row as we hear about some bad weather in the area. Borne can’t get very far with Tank to start so Heights comes in to grind away on a headlock. It’s back to Borne, who gets taken down for a Pretty Deadly style double team.

Heights comes back in but Borne makes a quick blind tag and clotheslines Hank to the floor. Back in and the chinlock doesn’t last long and Hank gets over for the tag to Tank to pick up the pace. A spinebuster gets two on Heights with Borne making the save. Everything breaks down and Borne has to break up a Pretty Deadly Spilled Milk. A TKO/DDT combination finishes Tank at 5:38.

Rating: C+. Hank And Tank continue to do very little for me so it was nice to see them lose here. That being said, it did seem like they were trying to find something with the Pretty Deadly impressions so maybe some changes are coming. I could go for more of the Crew, with Heights continuing to look good in there. Borne is as well, which is a nice little bonus.

Here is Trick Williams to say that he is still the man around here. No matter what Oba Femi has said, there is nothing stopping Williams from getting back to the top of the mountain. Cue Je’Von Evans to interrupt, but Williams says the adults are talking. Evans asks Williams when he knew it was his time (which is what Williams asked John Cena, launching his singles run), which must sound familiar.

Evans wants the #1 spot but he doesn’t have to step out of anyone’s shadow to do it. Williams says Evens has no idea what it’s like to be the champion. Evans: “You ain’t Trick Williams. You’re Carmelo Hayes.” That gets Williams’ attention, with Evans saying this is the exact same stuff that Hayes told Williams last year. Evans brings up dropping Oba Femi, which brings Femi out to tell Evans to say it to his face. Evans talks about getting so close to winning at Deadline and threatens to jump Femi again.

Williams isn’t interested but Femi tells him to shut up. Femi says the now belongs to him and Williams tells Evans to get out. Femi says Williams is talking too much so here is Ava to announce….the triple threat title match for Stand & Deliver (erg). Williams decks Evans but gets knocked to the floor, only for the lights to go out and Dark State to appear. Femi tells them to bring it so here they come to beat him down. Evans and Williams are laid out too.

Andre Chase is banged up and has a cracked rib, which has no timetable for recovery. He doesn’t have a ride home, but Uriah Connors and Kale Dixon show up with a wheelchair to help him out. Chase thinks they might not be so bad after all but they back up when they see Jaida Parker and Jordynne Grace fighting.

Fraxiom kind of mocks Hank And Tank over their Pretty Deadly stuff, but Axiom wishes he and Frazer were such close friends. Swipe Right (Ricky Smokes/Brad Baylor) come in to ask for a match against Fraxiom. Frazer accepts but Axiom isn’t impressed. Swipe Right are more interested in Roxanne Perez walking by, calling her a smoke show.

Women’s North American Title Qualifying Match: Roxanne Perez vs. Kelani Jordan

They lock up to start with Jordan taking her down into a headscissors. That’s broken up and Jordan flips to her feet as we take an early break. Back with Perez slamming her head first into the mat and flipping over her for an exchange of glaring. Jordan drapes her over the middle rope for a handstand spinning Fameasser (that was impressive) for two. Perez gets in a rake to the eyes though and Jordan is sent shoulder first into the post.

A big stomp onto the arm has Jordan in more trouble and Perez stays on the arm. Jordan gets two off a rollup but the kickout sends her arm into the buckle. Perez hits a northern lights suplex onto the arm for two and we take another break. Back again with Jordan getting in a kick but missing One Of A Kind. Perez’s cartwheel knee to the head (ouch) gets two but Jordan plants her with a DDT. One Of A Kind connects to put Perez away at 14:41.

Rating: B. Good stuff here with Jordan having to work hard to overcome the odds in the end. That’s the kind of win she has been needing lately and it’s a good sign for her future. I’m not sure if she’s going to win the title but at least she got a nice win on the way there. Perez very well may be on her way out of NXT, as she seems ready to be called up to the main roster.

Stevie Turner apologizes to Ava for Swipe Right but Robert Stone brings up the matches announced for Stand & Deliver. Ava is more worried about Dark State so she puts three of them in a six man against Oba Femi, Je’Von Evans and Trick Williams.

Ricky Saints isn’t worried about what Shawn Spears has been saying about his past. Tonight is about the future, when he wins the North American Title.

Zaria wants Sol Ruca out there with her at Stand & Deliver. Kelani Jordan comes in to say she’s winning the ladder match but Zaria isn’t impressed. Ruca says she’ll win….and Zaria doesn’t like that either.

Dark State is down for next week’s match but says no one is safe.

North American Title: Ricky Saints vs. Shawn Spears

Spears, with the Culling, is defending and goes straight to the floor to start. Saints is right there with a dive to take him down and hammers away to start fast. Back in and Saints hits a nice dropkick before unloading with right hands in the corner. Saints hits something like a dancing Old School off the barricade, including kissing his fingers and putting them on the forehead of a VERY happy fan.

We take a break and come back with Spears sending him hard into the corner. Saints catches him on top though and slugs away, setting up a top rope Jackhammer of all things, leaving both of them down. Back up and Saints strikes away, setting up a heck of a spinebuster for two.

It’s back to the floor for a tornado DDT off the apron to plant Spears again. Izzi Dame slips Spears the belt though and a shot to the face gets two. Spears loads up the C4 but Saints reverses into one of his own. Saints takes out the Culling and hits a spear into the Roshambo is good for the title at 10:17.

Rating: B-. This might not have been a great match but it was an absolute star making performance from Saints, who not only won the match and the title but showed all kinds of fire on the way. That’s what is going to make him into a bigger deal and it worked very well here. Saints is instantly a player and this will make people notice him. Great stuff for Saints here and I was impressed.

Post match Saints celebrates with the title but Ethan Page runs in to take him out.

Overall Rating: B. Good show this week as they set up stuff for Stand & Deliver (as annoying as some of it may be) and had a big moment in the end. This was the show that NXT has been needing and they made it work here, with a lot of stuff taking place in the span of two hours. You can tell that things are picking up for the biggest time of the year, which is exactly what needed to happen.

Results
Zaria b. Lash Legend – F5
No Quarter Catch Crew b. Hank And Tank – DDT/TKO combination to Tank
Kelani Jordan b. Roxanne Perez – One Of A Kind
Ricky Saints b. Shawn Spears – Roshambo

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2025
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Wade Barrett

We’re wrapping up the European shows this week with one more show in London. They’re getting a big one here too, with John Cena and Cody Rhodes going face to face again, plus Rhea Ripley getting another shot at the Women’s Title. Gunther is also getting to face Jimmy Uso to get ready for Wrestlemania so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going but as he puts the mic to his mouth, cue Cody Rhodes to interrupt. Rhodes says we’ve seen Cena talk for two weeks now so let Rhodes do his job for him. Let’s see: Rhodes has a bit of a lisp, so some S words don’t come out right. Like STARDUST. That’s who Cena is facing in his final Wrestlemania match in the main event: STARDUST. What else? Oh yeah: Rhodes has an arm tattoo his neck and he created his own wrestling company.

Rhodes knew Cena would go with some of these things but Rhodes is dealing with the idea that Superman is really dead. The truth is that they used to ride together and Rhodes knows that Cena cared about the people. Cena finally responds, saying he’s not going to punch down to Rhodes’ level. Instead he’s going to bury Rhodes at Wrestlemania. Cena is always accused of burying talent, but the reality is he is talent but buries mediocrity. He isn’t going to call out Rhodes for things like a lisp because Rhodes is just a chauffeur.

Rhodes thinks he found the blueprints so he can run the kingdom. For years, Rhodes sat by Cena and learned from him, then he tried to do it himself. Now he relies on cheap gimmicks like having fans chant his name to get by. Rhodes is a pied piper, as he uses cheap tricks to get people to follow him. All we get is some big mixture of every TV show that Rhodes has ever watched from a kid who is still scared of public speaking.

Cena hates seeing a pathetic nepo baby carrying the title when he had his gimmick tattooed on his neck. Rhodes is nothing but a common fan, who can go buy the Fanatics toy title and be the People’s Champion (nice touch of Cena calling out Rhodes for doing the same thing as the Rock, who got Cena to turn). Rhodes says that the people chose him, just like one man chose Cena but we don’t talk about him anymore (the fans OOO at that one). The reality is that Cena has more dick in his promo than in his jorts and he hangs out with Zac Efron and wishes he was 16 anymore.

Sure Rhodes left for his own company, but Cena didn’t even clean up his room before he went Hollywood. There are two of them in this ring right now, and which one of them sold out to the Rock? Rhodes: “John, you are still my hero, but you’re also a piece of s***.” Cena says Rhodes’ mind is full of feces and not facts. He sold out because no one is worthy of following him.

After all these years, he still finds ways to make things great, including Rhodes. Cena: “I make empires for billionaires. All you’ve ever done is steal money from their kids.” Cena goes to leave, but Rhodes says that not once have the fans told him that he can’t wrestle. THAT touches a nerve with Cena, who gets back in and they go face to face. Cena teases leaving but tries a right hand, only to walk into Cross Rhodes. With Cena down, Rhodes tucks his tie in (nice touch) and points to the Wrestlemania.

Cena was starting to go over the top supervillain here but then he and Rhodes started throwing bombs at each other. What mattered here was Cena gave something more of a clear explanation for why he turned. That gives both of them something to prove, with Rhodes needing to show that he can beat one of the best of all time and Cena wanting to prove that he still has it. Heck of a segment here.

Video on Rhea Ripley vs. Iyo Sky.

New Day comes out for a match and Adam Pearce introduces their surprise opponents.

New Day vs. New Catch Republic

The team is back and Tyler Bate has cut off a lot of his hair, looking a lot more like he did when he made his WWE debut. Dunne easily takes Woods down so Bate can hit a Swanton, followed by a pair of dives to the floor as we take a break. Back with Dunne in trouble and Woods hitting a running dropkick in the ropes.

Kingston knocks Dunne down again but misses a charge, allowing the tag to Bate. A suplex sends Kingston out of the corner so Bate can do his airplane spin. The German suplex/rebound lariat combination gets two, as does Kingston’s SOS. Dunne is back up with a kick to Kingston but Bate’s springboard is broken up. The Daybreaker finishes Dunne at 8:52.

Rating: B-. It was nice to have the Republic getting back in the ring as they’re a good team and there will always be a place for a team like them. That being said, New Day needed the win as they have fallen pretty far since their nuclear heat after turning on Big E. Having them win the titles at Wrestlemania would be nice, but dang there would be something to having Big E. cost them the match.

Post match New Day says they want a title shot so here are the War Raiders to say come get it.

Jimmy and Jey Uso fire each other up for their matches with Gunther. Jey tells him to be careful.

Gunther vs. Jimmy Uso

Non-title. Gunther starts fast with the chops and they’re on the floor in a hurry. Back in and Jimmy sends him outside for a suicide dive but the Superfly Splash hits raised knees. Jimmy catches him on top for a superplex into the Superfly Splash for two as the hot start continues. They go outside again where Gunther drops him onto the apron, setting up that hard lariat. We take a break and come back with Gunther hitting his big dropkick. The powerbomb gets two, with Gunther pulling him up. The sleeper puts Jimmy out at 8:35.

Rating: C+. I was surprised and a bit disappointed by this one as Jimmy felt like he was going to be getting this big shot at Gunther and then it was barely a step above a squash. Gunther kicked out of the Superfly Splash and then just mauled him. That’s not the most thrilling match, but at least Gunther looked like a monster again.

Post match the beatdown is on but Jey Uso makes the save.

Post break Jey helps Jimmy out but Gunther runs back in and beats both of them down. Gunther isn’t done and zip ties Jey to the ropes, allowing him to beat Jimmy up even more. He taunts Jey and gets in a belt shot to knock Jimmy off the apron. Jimmy is busted open and Gunther rubs the blood on his own chest. Jey tries to pull Jimmy to him but Gunther pulls him back for elbows to the head and a sleeper. Gunther: “HELP YOUR BROTHER!” Agents and security finally come in for the save. This was awesome and some good, old school heeling from Gunther, who is going so far that Jey is going to want to get his revenge.

We recap the CM Punk/Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins contract signing for Wrestlemania, with the announcement that it’s closing the show, making Punk a Wrestlemania main eventer. Punk made it clear that is NOT the favor Paul Heyman owes him though.

Finn Balor is ready to bring gold back to the Judgment Day, but doesn’t seem pleased with Raquel Rodriguez for losing last week. Balor and most of the men leave but Carlito stays behind, only to be thrown out by the women.

Judgment Day vs. Bron Breakker/Penta

Penta gets knocked down to start but Breakker comes in to take over without much trouble. It’s already back to Penta for the slingshot dropkick in the corner to Balor, followed by a backbreaker to Mysterio. Breakker pulls the top rope down so Penta can hit a big running flip dive to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Penta hitting the Backstabber and handing it off to Breakker to clean house. The running clothesline hits Balor and a super Sling Blade takes out Mysterio. The Super Spear hits Penta by mistake though and Balor adds the Coup de Grace for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: C+. It seems that we’re getting ready for a big multi man match for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania and Balor getting the pin here should getting him back into the title picture. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Dominik Mysterio added to the whole thing too, and having him steal the title would be great. Penta losing is a bit annoying, but it came after two finishers and miscommunication in a tag match so it’s hardly a terrible idea.

Chad Gable is still out with a medical issue, but he’ll be fine by next week for a match in his hometown. Adam Pearce says nothing is more important than his health, so next week, it’s El Grande Americano in action instead. Gable goes to leave and runs into the Alpha Academy, who he calls clowns and an idiot (Otis). Maxxine says she and Natalya have been talking and they want in the Women’s Tag Team Title picture. Oh dear.

Penta yells at Bron Breakker for the spear.

Here is AJ Styles to call out Logan Paul, who doesn’t leave him waiting long. Paul mocks the fans for not liking him, saying they’re on his time. As for Styles, Paul has had a change of heart. He’s a girl dad now, and he forgives Styles for what he did to him at Madison Square Garden. Styles has a daughter too, and forgives Paul for being the biggest douchebag ever in WWE. Paul can have all the money and fame that he wants, but the people care about what he can do in the ring.

The fans get on Paul for Prime being awful before the insults continue (with Styles kind of stumbling over his line about not letting your mouth write a check you a** can’t cash and Paul having to save it). Styles seems ready to fight but Paul teases a Wrestlemania match instead. Paul calls the fans poor and then tries a kick to the ribs, with the fight being on. They go outside but Paul gets in a low blow, setting up the Paulverizer to leave Styles laying. The Paulverizer looked great, but this feud isn’t clicking for me. It doesn’t help that it feels like the “these two have nothing else to do” feud.

Lyra Valkyria is happy with her title defense last week but now she wants to even the score with Bayley. She’ll do that next week in their title match.

Finn Balor says “he” won the tag match and wants an Intercontinental Title shot. With Balor gone, Liv Morgan says Dominik Mysterio shouldn’t be happy with this and is going to talk to Adam Pearce.

Raw Women’s Title: Iyo Sky vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is challenging and Bianca Belair is guest referee. After the big match intros, Ripley hammers away into the corner but Sky fights out in a hurry. They trade rollups for two each until Ripley takes over again and we take an early break. Back with Sky hitting a running dropkick, followed by a missile dropkick to put her on the floor. Sky’s suicide dive takes Ripley down again and they go back inside, where Ripley gets caught up top.

Sky tries a super poisonrana but Ripley blocks it, setting up a….I think super Samoan drop but Sky seems to get the better of it. Weird sequence. Anyway, Sky hits the Bullet Train and goes up, only to get headbutted out of the air for two. A toss Razor’s Edge sends Sky flying for two but Belair accidentally gets decked. Riptide connects but there is no referee, with the fans counting up to about thirteen.

Back in and Sky kicks out (over a minute after Riptide connected so it’s fine), leading to an argument between Ripley and Sky. Ripley hammers on Sky in the ropes but gets wrestled down, with Ripley hitting Belair in the face. Sky comes in off the top with a (accidental) missile dropkick to Belair, who calls the double DQ at 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a big time angle with a match included and that worked well. The double DQ is a way to avoid either of them taking a fall and should get us to what will likely be a triple threat title match at Wrestlemania. This one does have a story, though dang I could go for some more singles title matches for a change. Either way, good stuff here and they did it as they should have.

Post match the big three way brawl is on with Ripley getting to stand tall. Ripley adds a super Riptide to Belair to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s always impressive when there can be so little wrestling (only four matches) and yet it felt like a show that did so much for Wrestlemania. You can see most of the card from here and some of the other matches are just waiting to be set. The Rhodes/Cena segment was great and made me want to see the match that much more. This was the moving day show for Wrestlemania and that is a great feeling in Wrestlemania season. It’s the kind of show they needed to do and the next two weeks should be similar.

Results
New Day b. New Catch Republic – Daybreaker to Dunne
Gunther b. Jimmy Uso – Sleeper
Judgment Day b. Penta/Bron Breakker – Coup de Grace to Penta
Rhea Ripley vs. Iyo Sky went to a double DQ when both attacked the referee

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 27, 2025
Location: El Paso County Coliseum, El Paso, Texas
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are coming up on Unbreakable and that show has some open spots on the card. World Champion Joe Hendry doesn’t seem to have an obvious challenger for the title, with Elijah being one of the only people in his orbit at the moment. Other than that, we seem to be on the way to a Hardys vs. Nemeths showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Tatum Paxley/Gigi Dolin vs. Ash By Elegance/Heather By Elegance

Non-title and the Personal Concierge is here with By Elegance. Dolin takes Ash down without much trouble to start and it’s Paxley coming in for something like a Dream Sequence. Meta Four is watching from behind as Paxley gets the reverse surfboard on Heather. The Concierge breaks up a dropkick though and Ash stomps away, both on the ropes and in the corner. That’s broken up and Paxley comes back in to clean house. The Concierge shoves Paxley off the top though and Rarefied Air finishes at 4:58.

Rating: C. This didn’t have much time to go anywhere and it didn’t exactly make Paxley and Dolin feel like the biggest team. By Elegance did need a win though as they aren’t the most established team in the world. Meta Four might be the ones to get the titles from them, as some titles have to cross over to another promotion at some point.

Post match, By Elegance’s cake is brought out but a double noggin knocker lets Dolin and Paxley send Ash into it.

Leon Slater promises a fight with Nic Nemeth tonight.

Ash By Elegance panics over the cake.

First Class/Frankie Kazarian vs. Aztec Warriors/Chavo Guerrero

Chavo and Kazarian start things off with Chavo grabbing a headscissors. Navarro comes in and gets dropkicked down before it’s off to Laredo Kid for an even harder dropkick. We take a break and come back with Octagon Jr. kicking Navarro down, only to be sent outside. Navarro’s big running flip dive connects and it’s Francis coming in for a change.

Octagon’s forearms don’t do much good as Francis crushes him in the corner and bends the neck around the rope. Francis plants both Warriors with the World’s Strongest Wasteland and it’s Navarro coming back in for a chinlock on Octagon. That’s broken up as well and it’s back to Laredo to pick up the pace. The real hot tag brings in Chavo to clean house and we get Four Amigos before Francis gets the traditional Three. The Warriors hit nice dives to the floor and Chavo adds a Gory Bomb into the frog splash to pin Navarro at 15:08.

Rating: B-. Chavo looked a good bit better than I was expecting here and he more than held his own rather than just being there as the hometown star. The Warriors are the latest lucha tag team and that’s not a bad way for them to be used. I’m not sure what kind of a future it has, but this was a good showing from everyone. That being said, Kazarian being in there was kind of a weird call as he should be near the World Title sooner than later.

Rosemary is all evil and wants Xia Brookside to be evil too. I think.

Santino Marella has a sitdown with Mance Warner, with Steph de Lander, and Sami Callihan. They argue over their recent issues, with Callihan saying Marella is going to have to fire one of them. Callihan insults Steph, who throws a drink in his face, which is a bit more impactful than you might expect.

Jacy Jayne vs. Masha Slamovich

Non-title. They fight over a lockup and go against the ropes to start until Jayne pulls her down by the hair. Back up and Slamovich sends her to the floor for a corkscrew dive. They get back in but Jayne is smart enough to roll away from something off the top. Jayne knocks her down back inside and hammers away in the corner, setting up a running shot for two.

A knee to the face and some right hands have Slamovich down again and we hit the reverse chinlock. That’s broken up and Slamovich hits a rolling kick to the head but Jayne knees her down for two more. More kicks to the head send Slamovich outside, where she drops Jayne face first onto the apron. Back in and Jayne superkicks her into a running neckbreaker, only for Slamovich to grab the Snowplow for the pin at 8:43.

Rating: B-. Jayne was trying here and those kicks got her further along than I was expecting. Slamovich certainly didn’t squash her, but there wasn’t much doubt about this one. Tessa Blanchard is waiting for Slamovich and that is going to be a heck of a showdown for the title when we get there.

Post match Tessa Blanchard runs in and beats Slamovich down. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Lee make the save.

Video on Mike Santana vs. Mustafa Ali, with Ali cheating to escape multiple times.

Eric Young vs. Ace Austin

The Northern Armory is here with Young. An early arm crank has Austin down so Young turns his back and the Armory comes in. That’s broken up so Austin takes Young down and kicks him in the head. They strike it out until Young grabs a spinebuster for two. The neck crank goes on but Austin fights up and hits a Russian legsweep.

A springboard spinning kick to the face gives Austin two but Young knocks him off the top. The top rope elbow gives Young two but Austin is right back up. The Fold is loaded up, only for Austin to have to go after the Armory. Young uses the distraction to grab a piledriver for the pin at 7:12.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match here with Austin getting in some offense before the numbers game got the best of him. Austin is going to need some help if the feud continues and the Rascalz would seem to be a good choice for the spot. Young winning again isn’t a surprise, but hopefully he doesn’t go much further up the card.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. Hendry is glad to be back in Texas and now he’s willing to defend the title against anyone from any company. Cue Elijah, who makes it clear that he is not the next challenger. Actually he’s here for a song, which is about how the two of them are friends. Cue Frankie Kazarian with his own (bass) guitar, saying it’s time for his own concert. We get a few notes but the fans think he sucks. Kazarian’s song is about how much he hates El Paso so Hendry issues some threats of violence. That’s enough for Kazarian to leave, complete with the Goodbye Song.

Nic Nemeth vs. Leon Slater

Ryan Nemeth is here with his brother. Nic wastes no time in wrestling him down and getting in a little hip gyration. Back up and Slater knocks him down, which earns an eye rake over the ropes. A handspring elbow sends Nic outside, setting up the big running flip dive as we take a break. Back with Nic raking the eyes and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Slater hits a running boot to the face into a suplex for two.

Back up and Slater slams him down for two but the Fameasser gives Nic the same. Nic’s sleeper is broken up so he takes Slater up top. Slater knocks him away but gets crotched, setting up a superplex to bring Slater crashing down. A quick Twist Of Slate looks to set up the Swanton 450 but Nic blocks it and gets two off a rollup. The Danger Zone is blocked as well but Ryan grabs Slater’s foot. A superkick into the Danger Zone finishes Slater at 15:06.

Rating: B-. Another solid performance from Slater here as he is getting more and more established in the main event scene. He’s not all the way ready for that kind of a spot yet, but he’s also managing to hang in there against bigger and more experienced opponents. Losing to Nic isn’t a big shot against him and they had a good match on the way there.

Post match the Nemeths go after Slater but the Hardys return for the save. Matt issues the challenge for Rebellion to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what to think of this one, but it did keep me invested for the most part. You can see things coming together for Unbreakable and probably even Rebellion, so at least the things are going in the right direction. Other than that, we had some nice enough matches, with Slater again doing well for himself in a big spot.

Results
Ash By Elegance/Heather By Elegance b. Gigi Dolin/Tatum Paxley – Rarefied Air to Paxley
Aztec Warriors/Chavo Guerrero b. First Class/Frankie Kazarian – Frog splash to Navarro
Masha Slamovich b. Jacy Jayne – Snowplow
Eric Young b. Ace Austin – Piledriver
Nic Nemeth b. Leon Slater – Danger Zone

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the big one as things have to change at some point in WWE. I’m curious to see how this show goes as I haven’t seen the television leading up to it since the show aired so maybe the show will feel a little bit different. The theme is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, which has included some outstanding movie parody trailers. Oh and Batista and John Cena look more than ready to become the top stars in the company. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

This is your “get them all on the show” match, which was likely just the DVD extra. They’re all in their show colored shirts with Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long at ringside. Before the bell, Hurricane gives Heidenreich his own mask so Heidenreich punches him in the face. Must be a villain. The fighting starts with Spike being sent to the steps as Hurricane makes the mistake of hammering away in the corner, making him the first elimination.

Reigns is out next as the ring is still very full. A bunch of the cruiserweights hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm. That high level of missing the point could explain why they don’t get on television very often. Masters doesn’t like that line of thinking and dumps Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a hurry. Haas is tossed as well as the ring is clearing out a bit.

Masters dumps Nunzio, though it might not have been over the top. With nothing else to do, Heidenreich destroys a turnbuckle and tears off his mask before clotheslining the heck out of Venis for an elimination. Dean and Grenier are out as well, followed by Rosey, all at Heidenreich’s hands. Rhyno is out next and it’s Dupree following him in a hurry. Both Bashams go out as the fans are behind Regal.

With about twelve people left, we get the always natural looking Raw vs. Smackdown showdown with Akio and Holly being tossed, followed by Regal to even things up a bit. Tajiri mists Heidenreich so the blind monster gets rid of London. Heidenreich and Tajiri fight on the apron until Snitsky gets rid of them, leaving us with Jindrak, Booker, Masters, Snitsky and Viscera.

Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky and hits the big left on Viscera….which staggers Jindrak so much that Masters can get rid of him. Nunzio does the “I’M STILL IN” deal, only to be tossed seconds later. Viscera crushes Booker in the corner but he’s fine enough to low bridge the monster to the floor. The full nelson is broken up and a superkick gives Booker the win.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of hard to get too annoyed at a match like this as the whole point is getting people on the show and therefore onto the DVD, which is a nice bonus for the talent. I know this isn’t the most important match but it came and went fast enough and wasn’t terrible. Assuming you can ignore the RAH RAH RAH Raw vs. Smackdown aspect, it’s nothing too bad.

Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. She’ll have a job in WWE as long as she wants one for how good she can make that sound.

The Titantron is revealed with the red curtain coming up. They’re nailing the theme this year.

We get a montage of the trailers, leading to the big reveal of the final trailer: Gladiator, featuring Steve Austin as Maximus. It’s a cool idea and suitable casting but there were better trailers.

It’s strange to see Wrestlemania in an arena. That’s one of those things you’ll probably never see again.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Not a bad way to start and the red carpet in the aisle makes it even better. They’re the Smackdown Tag Team Champions but Eddie isn’t sure if he can beat Rey. There’s no superhero outfit this year as Rey has Mexican/American flag inspired gear. Rey flips out of an armbar to start and hits a running knee but has to adjust the mask. A second armbar works a bit better for Eddie and but Rey pops up and climbs onto Eddie’s shoulders.

The sunset flip is countered into a catapult to the floor but Rey switches places and teases a dive to take us to an early standoff. Eddie takes him down into a keylock to stay on the arm before sending Rey outside. Since he’s a luchador as well, Eddie busts out his own dive to the floor, with the fans rather pleased with him. Rey adjust his mask again, as he isn’t wearing the regular kind and the clasp is different, causing a lot of issues.

Back in and Eddie stays on the arm (instead of the leg because Eddie is smart, since working on Mysterio’s leg hasn’t worked well for most people) before switching over to a surfboard. That’s broken up so Rey armdrags him to the floor, meaning the big corkscrew flip dive can take Eddie down. A backbreaker gives Eddie two though as Rey can’t keep the momentum going. Rey gets back up and tries the 619 but walks into another backbreaker for two, allowing Rey to fix the mask again.

Three Amigos connect, with Rey holding his mask the whole time. The extra vision lets Rey avoid the frog splash and now the 619 connects. The West Cost Pop is countered into a hard powerbomb for two as they go back to the back. Eddie tries another powerbomb but this time Rey reverses into a hurricanrana for the pin and one final mask adjustment.

Rating: B-. I don’t know how much the mask stuff messed with Rey but it seemed to be causing at least a bit of a problem. He had to mess with that thing probably a dozen times in a twelve minute match and it was becoming really noticeable. The idea here is to continue Eddie’s descent into jealousy over not being able to beat Mysterio and that could be a heck of a story.

JBL and the Cabinet meets Evolution. HHH says Ric Flair is the wrestling god and maybe one day someone will believe that JBL is that good. A staredown over belt importance and a WOO to Orlando Jordan ends a terrifying prospect. Somehow, JBL and HHH only had one singles match ever against each other and it was on a random Raw in 2008. You would think they would have met at least a handful of times.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Money in the Bank with Tyson Tomko out with Kane. Kane gets a cool entrance where the ladders on the set are on fire. Almost everyone goes after Kane in the aisle and a variety of double teams take him down. Christian tries to use the melee to bring in a ladder but Jericho slams it into his face. A springboard dropkick sends Edge into Benoit to knock them both off the apron, followed by Jericho’s dive onto Edge.

Shelton hits the big running flip dive onto a bunch of people, with Kane adding the top rope clothesline to take down the same pile plus Benjamin for the wipe out. Back in and Jericho dropkicks a ladder into Kane but Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in a cool shot. Benoit’s climb is cut off so he Crossfaces Kane and then Edge, the latter of which allows Kane to hit Benoit with the ladder.

To make it worse, Kane crushes Benoit’s arm in the ladder over and over. Edge spears Kane down and it’s the big reunion with Christian, who grabs his own ladder to smash Kane at the same time. Now it’s Shelton coming in to send Christian outside and flapjack Edge into the ladder. Shelton and Jericho fight on top of the ladder until two more ladders are brought in (Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”), meaning it’s everyone but Kane on top at the same time.

Benoit, Jericho and Christian are knocked down, leaving Shelton to hit the exploder on Edge off the ladder for the huge crash. Jericho is left to go up but Shelton runs up a second ladder to clothesline Jericho off because he can do something like that. Christian knocks Shelton off the ladder as Kane returns from the short term death that afflicts wrestlers in ladder matches. Tomko comes in and kicks Kane in the face before helping Christian to the top in a bit of a call back to TLC II.

Kane is back up though and shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down to the floor and onto Tomko. Jericho and Kane knock each other off the ladder and everyone is down as we need a breather. With Kane down, Benoit (bleeding from the head) hits the Swan Dive off the ladder. Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane off but the arm is too banged up to get the briefcase. Edge blasts Benoit in the arm with a chair though and that’s enough to pull down the briefcase for the win.

Rating: A-. Yeah this was great with more time for drama and fewer instances of having the people laying around forever because there are too many people in the match at the same time. Edge winning is the best call as no one has been chasing the title like him and now he can steal the title down the line. It’s a heck of a fight though with a bunch of awesome spots and stuff that kept the fans interested without many dead spots. Great stuff and an awesome way to debut the concept.

Here’s the still injured Eugene, whose music doesn’t start until halfway down the aisle. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment every, after the midget army getting together to fight off King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania III (Hillbilly Jim was included as well, and he spent a good hour talking about it during his Hall of Fame speech). Cue Daivari and Muhammad Hassan to complain about not being on the show (that they’re on) and rant about the prejudice in Los Angeles.

Hassan is ready to make his own Wrestlemania moment and jumps Eugene, setting up the camel clutch. Cue Hulk Hogan or the REAL AMERICAN save, including a double noggin knocker. Hassan gets sent outside so Daivari can hit Hogan with a chair. Since that doesn’t work, it’s a big boot and another toss to the floor so the posing can commence. Hogan even gets to do the big pose in front of the huge American flag on the stage. Yeah it’s old hat but I’ll always be a Hulkamaniac so this made me smile.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton won the World Title last fall but lost it in a hurry and has been on a slow downward spiral since. He needs to get back on track so he’s going after Undertaker and the Streak while turning heel in the process. Orton’s dad Bob is helping him a bit, because Orton has slid far enough that he needs that kind of help.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

The druids with the torches are here so you know it’s serious. Undertaker glides to the ring for a pretty cool entrance, which goes much faster than usual for a bonus. Orton comes out second for some reason, albeit with his own cool entrance of pyro raining down behind him as he poses with the still awesome Burn In My Light playing. After some early dodging, the first right hand gets Orton launched into the corner.

The dropkick out of the corner gets two and Orton backdrops him for a bump you don’t see from Undertaker that often. The early RKO attempt is shoved over the top as Undertaker is starting a bit slowly here. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to the floor to take over. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and Snake Eyes connects. The ensuing big boot is cut off with a running elbow though, sending the fans straight into a LET’S GO UNDERTAKER/RANDY SUCKS chant.

The slugout goes to Undertaker and we hit the dragon sleeper as Undertaker busts out some different stuff for a change. Orton breaks out and grabs a sleeper, which doesn’t please the crowd. The counter before Orton can take him to the ground is more appealing but Orton is back with a powerslam.

For some reason, Orton hammers away in the corner, meaning he has to escape the Last Ride. The referee gets bumped though and here’s Bob with a cast shot to Undertaker’s head for the close two. Undertaker boots Bob off the apron and grabs the chokeslam, which is reversed into the RKO in midair (one of my favorite counters ever) for two and a big sigh of relief from the fans. For reasons of general cockiness, Orton tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to make Undertaker 13-0.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it never came close to that higher level. It would take a little longer for Undertaker to get that much better at Wrestlemania so for now it’s just a good one. Orton was trying here and looked better than he has in a long time, though aside from that one RKO, he never felt like a real threat here. Still though, one hot near fall is better than none and it wasn’t bad by any stretch.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme. It’s the annual Playboy match as we’re now supposed to believe that Christy can wrestle and isn’t just there because of her looks. Lita has been training Christy and is more interesting than anything Christy has been doing. Keep in mind that Christy isn’t at fault here. She isn’t a wrestler and is being thrown into a match because she won a modeling contest. That’s on WWE, not Christy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Trish is defending and Christy has Lita with her. The bell rings and Trish drops to the mat but kicks Christy away in a rather heelish move. They head outside with Trish sending her into the steps, followed by some chops in the corner back inside. The Chick Kick misses and Christy hits one of her own as the fans are just gone for this.

Christy does the splits on top to set up a sunset flip for two, only to have Trish spear her down. We get the BORING chants as Trish stops to yell at Lita, allowing Christy to start in with the kicks. The reverse Twist of Fate and a rollup give Christy two each but Trish has had it. That means the Chick Kick to retain the title and end Christy’s wrestling run.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting? Trish was wrestling herself here as Christy was only good for some tumbling and that Twist of Fate. The women’s division is all but dead at this point and it’s likely going to be a long time before things get better. Christy was trying here but had no business in this spot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was annoyed that Shawn eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and beat him up, setting off the big feud. Kurt is annoyed that people were talking about Shawn in 1996 when Angle was an Olympic champion. Now Angle wants to prove that he is the better man on the biggest stage. Shawn is down with that because he’s Shawn Michaels and it’s Wrestlemania. This is more or less WWE saying “yeah it’s going to be a classic and everyone knows it.”

Various celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare at each other both before and after the bell until Shawn slaps him in the face. That makes Angle take him to the mat and Shawn is completely outclassed there. A headlock takeover works a bit better for Shawn as the fans are behind Angle for a bit of a surprise. The headlock stays on for a good while as they probably have a lot of time here. Shawn switches over to a short armscissors, allowing Angle to power out ala Bob Backlund (his old mentor).

Shawn is right back with the headlock but this time Angle powers up and takes him into the corner. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and it’s Shawn with a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Angle hits an Angle Slam into the post to take something out of Shawn. A suplex gives Angle two and it’s off to the bodyscissors to stay on the ribs/back.

The belly to belly gets two and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Angle’s belly to belly superplex is broken up but Shawn misses the top rope elbow. Shawn is fine enough to backdrop Angle to the floor and he’s crazy enough to hit a high crossbody to the floor with the knee possibly hitting Angle in the face. Angle gets back up and teases the German suplex off the apron to make the fans a little nervous.

A low blow gets Shawn out of trouble and that means the springboard spinning splash onto Angle onto the announcers’ table for less of a pop than you might have expected, mainly because the table doesn’t break. They head back in for the slugout into Shawn’s forearm and nipup so things can pick up again. Sweet Chin Music (way too early) is countered into the ankle lock, setting up the big crawl to the rope. Angle gets it again but this time Shawn reverses into a rollup for two.

Another Sweet Chin Music attempt is countered into the Angle Slam for two as frustration is setting in. In another awesome moment, Angle pulls his straps up so he can pull them right back down again because you know it’s serious. The moonsault misses though (probably spent too much time with the straps) so Shawn goes up, only to get caught in the super Angle Slam for two, meaning Angle looks ready to cry at the kickout.

Angle talks a bunch of trash so Shawn snaps off Sweet Chin Music to shut him up. That gets a very delayed two and they both need a breather. Angle picks the ankle into the ankle lock as he’s right back up but this time Shawn can’t kick away. Shawn fights everywhere but finally gets pulled down into the grapevine for the tap (after a nearly goofy amount of time).

Rating: A+. Yeah what else do you want here? They told an outstanding story with Shawn going with the natural talent but Angle just wanting it that much more and turning up the intensity to a level Shawn couldn’t reach. It made Shawn look like he couldn’t beat Angle on his best night, all while putting in an instant classic. These two went back and forth with one big spot after another and Angle took away a lot of Shawn’s strength by working on the back. Check this one out if you haven’t in a while as it’s worth seeing again.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit (and I think there was an edit in there as the set was put together in the blink of an eye). Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame but wants to get down to business. He wanted the meanest and baddest man in WWE so his guest is Steve Austin. Cue Austin (with a glass breaking transition as we cut to the stage), with JR saying that he’s back at Wrestlemania. He hasn’t missed one since 2000 so that’s not the biggest accomplishment. Piper asks if Austin is the rebel and slaps him in the face so Austin calls him an SOB and returns the slap. Piper: “I kind of like you.”

With that out of the way, Piper talks about respecting Austin but gets cut off by the WHAT chants, which he doesn’t seem to understand. Piper takes issue with one thing: he was ticking Vince McMahon off when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel. Austin runs down Piper’s appearance and they get in each other’s faces, allowing Piper to quote Cool Hand Luke about a failure of communication.

Cue Carlito, with Piper and Austin accusing each other of bringing him out. Piper: “I’ll get back to you.” Carlito accuses both of them of arguing like girls, before declaring them both non-cool. Piper: “Who the h*** are you? You look like Alfalfa.” Carlito wants the two of them out of here and loads up the apple but Piper takes it away.

It’s Carlito taking the spit this time so Carlito hits him in the face as Austin laughs. Bored of that, Austin beats Carlito up and Piper sends him outside. Beer is consumed until Austin Stuns Piper. This completely missed as Piper and Austin didn’t have anything to say to each other. Carlito getting to be out there was a nice few moments for him but this was all about the legends, who didn’t need to be there.

It’s immediately time for the sumo match with a much harder cut to Cole and Tazz. They had to edit something out of there and we get a VERY long crowd shot during the next entrance. That was probably to remove the ropes, but it still felt like something was cut.

Upon further review, they aired the You Talking To Me trailer here and announced it as winning the Best Overall Trailer award. They’ve aired that on Raw and Smackdown, so why cut it here?

Akebono vs. Big Show

They do the full traditional opening as the fans are really not interested in this one. We finally get going, they slap each other, pull at the gear a bit, Show lifts Akebono and spins him around, and then Akebono wins. This didn’t work again as it came and went as it just wasn’t the right thing for a show like Wrestlemania. Akebono never wrestled for WWE again and I don’t know if he ever appeared again so I’m not sure what the thinking was here.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the Smackdown World Title. It’s built around a culture clash with JBL being the old, rich traditionalist while Cena lives by his own rules and cares about the people. Cena won a tournament to get the shot so JBL talked about how people like Cena didn’t deserve to be champion. He couldn’t get Cena to go too far though and Cena is ready to explode here.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and gets a police escort into the arena. Just to show off, we get a shower of JBL dollars, which are always a nice touch. They trade shoulders to start with JBL getting the better of it (the big boot out of the corner probably helped a bit). A suplex gives JBL two and he chokes Cena on the ropes for a bit. Back up and Cena is fine with getting into a slugout but JBL catches him with a Ron Simmons style spinebuster. A neckbreaker and some clotheslines stay on Cena’s neck, followed by a sleeper to do something similar enough.

Cena slips out and it’s a double clothesline to keep up the slow pace. JBL sends him outside for another neckbreaker before going up top for some reason. That earns him a slam out of the air but Cena can’t follow up. Cena starts his comeback but the fans aren’t quite thrilled. The Shuffle gets some energy flowing and after ducking the Clothesline From JBL, the FU gives Cena his first World Title out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Very bleh match here as there was no drama and the match just ended out of nowhere with Cena shrugging off the first ten minutes and winning with very little drama. I know the match itself doesn’t matter that much but Cena wasn’t ready to carry something like this and JBL was never capable of carrying something like this, leaving us with a very underwhelming match.

That’s also the end of JBL’s long title reign and really, it was a lot better than I remember. JBL can talk very well and while his matches weren’t great, it didn’t come close to dragging as a lot of people (myself included) remember. Maybe it was knowing when it was going to end but I didn’t mind this nearly as much as I expected to. JBL winning the title in the first place was a big stretch but he held it a lot better than I would have guessed.

Hall of Fame video. Hogan and Piper were long overdue. Heenan on Iron Sheik’s speech: “WHAT THE H*** DID HE SAY???”

Gene Okerlund brings out the year’s class:

Nikolai Volkoff (sure why not)

Iron Sheik (just don’t let him talk….or maybe let him talk….it could go either way)

Paul Orndorff (belongs in for 1986 alone and is smart enough to point at Miss Jackie)

Bob Orton (always good for a solid performance and still selling the injury from earlier)

Jimmy Hart (yep, and comes off as one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling)

Roddy Piper (would have headlined almost any other class)

Hulk Hogan (odds are we’re not here without him)

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH has dominated the World Title scene for a long time and has used Evolution to help him hold onto the title. Batista has proven to be unstoppable and then won the Royal Rumble. HHH tried to talk him into going to Smackdown but Batista overheard the evil planning, sending Batista onto a path towards Wrestlemania and the title. This isn’t the hardest result to figure out and the fans are begging to see Batista take the title away from HHH for good.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him, plus Motorhead plays him to the ring, just in case you thought Batista was cooler. I mean, you can barely understand the words because Lemmy butchers it in a great Brutus Beefcake impression but HHH rising up through the stage makes up for it a bit. Batista doesn’t get much of a pop, mainly due to the lack of the famous band performing his music.

The early power lockup lets them drive each other to the ropes but it’s only good for a standoff. They do it again with HHH’s running shoulder having no effect other than waking HHH up a bit. Another shoulder drops Batista but he’s right back up with something close to a powerslam. Batista hits a backdrop, only to have HHH knock him outside to cut the momentum off again.

Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps and Flair gets in some choking with the jacket. Back in and HHH gets two off a suplex, setting up more Flair choking. Whatever emotion the fans had for Batista after that HHH entrance is long gone now as HHH has beaten him down for about seven of the eight minutes the match has been going so far. Batista slugs away but walks into the spinebuster, because of course HHH needs to hit a spinebuster as he dominates Batista in the biggest match of Batista’s career.

A backdrop breaks up the Pedigree attempt but HHH is RIGHT BACK with the facebuster, leaving him on defense for all of three seconds. HHH goes up and gets clotheslined out of the air to no reaction as the fans are gone. They’re smart enough to realize that HHH is going to cut Batista off again and, as expected, Batista charges into a big boot in the corner just a few seconds later. Batista sends HHH over the corner, only to have HHH whip him into the steps.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and it’s time to hammer on the cut as the fans finally have something to cheer about. The big running clothesline in the corner rocks HHH and a powerslam gets two as there isn’t quite the energy in the offense that you would expect. It feels like they’re just doing stuff to fill time until the ending instead of of building something up.

Batista sends him outside but goes after Flair, allowing HHH to grab the chair, which hits the referee by mistake. Flair’s belt shot is countered with a spinebuster but HHH’s belt shot gets two. The fans react to the kickout and Batista hits the spinebuster for the big reaction. That’s too much cheering for HHH’s liking so he hits Batista low. Batista blocks the Pedigree with raw power though and hits something like White Noise. The Batista Bomb finally makes Batista champion.

Rating: C. It was miles better than Cena vs. JBL but egads this didn’t do Batista any favors. This was more about giving HHH a big sendoff as champion than making Batista look like a star and….I can’t say I’m surprised. Batista has looked so dominant and smart for the last six weeks that HHH probably couldn’t help himself from cutting him off. HHH did put him over, but it could have been a lot stronger without HHH beating him up and outsmarting him for the first half of the match. Much like the previous match though, it’s all about what comes next rather than what happened here, but HHH made sure to make himself look good.

The big celebration and highlight package wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. Much like last year, this really needed forty five minutes to an hour trimmed off (and again it’s easy to see what should be gone) to make it great. As it is it’s quite good but there are a lot of times where it felt like it was dragging. The two World Title matches were outclassed by Money in the Bank and Shawn vs. Angle (not exactly shocking on either front) but they got the endings right and aside from the sumo match and Piper’s Pit (which wasn’t that long), only the very short women’s match is bad (and that has various other positives).

What we got here was a strong Wrestlemania, but it needed some time trimmed off to really make it great. That being said, this is still far better than the five hour monstrosities we get now. It’s a completely watchable, at times great and very important show though, meaning it feels like Wrestlemania. The streak of good Wrestlemanias continues, though the show getting longer isn’t the most encouraging sign. Check out the ladder match and Shawn vs. Angle if you have the time though as they’re worth a second look (or nineteenth look in some cases).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Collision
Date: March 29, 2025
Location: UW-Milwaukee Panthers Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuinness

We’re just over a week away from Dynasty and in this case, we have a title match preview before the pay per view title match. This week, Wheeler Yuta is facing Dax Harwood, which doesn’t quite feel like the biggest match in the world. Other than that, we’ll likely get some push towards the pay per view so let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Toni Storm to get things going. She calls out Megan Bayne, who doesn’t show up. Storm isn’t sure what happened, as Bayne laid Storm on her back like she had just bought Storm a steak dinner. After the match, she went to her hotel, laid down (as she does on the mat here), got up, stubbed her toe, hit her head on the sink….and then got up to remember who she was.

Violence is promised at Dynasty but Penelope Ford comes through the darkness to kick Storm in the face (very nice job there as she came out of nowhere). Storm fights back but Bayne comes in and hits Fate’s Descent. Bayne tells her to bow down and throws the out cold Storm to the mat. At this point, Bayne almost has to win the title as she has dominated Storm throughout their story. If she loses, it’s going to kill her momentum.

The Death Riders aren’t happy with Cope and Claudio Castagnoli wants to take him out on Dynamite. Jon Moxley says he fears three people in his life: his mother, his sister and his wife. Then he met Marina Shafir, who promises to feed Willow Nightingale her own liver. As usual, the less talking from Moxley, the better.

Jay White vs. Kevin Knight

They wrestle around a bit and that’s good for an early standoff. Knight flips out of a wristlock to take White down but White is back up to win a battle of shoulder blocks. A hurricanrana drops White again and Knight fires off the uppercuts. White’s brainbuster gets a quick two and we take a break.

Back with White chopping him out to the floor but Knight makes the clothesline comeback. A running frog splash (that’s a new one) gives Knight two and White’s Rock Bottom is countered into a rollup for two more. White manages a German suplex to get out of trouble and the Blade Runner finishes Knight at 10:38.

Rating: B-. Nice performance from Knight here, who has done some good stuff in various places and is now getting a chance on a bigger stage. White is on his way to the Owen Hart Tournament but got to make Knight look nice enough in a win. That’s not a bad way to go and it made for a fine TV match.

Post match White shows respect and Knight gets a nice ovation. With Knight gone, White talks about how he needs the World Title shot at All In because he is a variety of nicknames. At All In, he gets to show us that it is still the Switchblade Era.

MJF threw out the first pitch at the Texas Rangers’ home opener. He points out that Bobby Lashley lives in Texas but the Rangers asked for him instead.

Athena was outside of Mercedes Mone’s dressing room earlier. That’s intriguing.

Mercedes Mone vs. Robyn Renegade

Non-title. They grapple to start until Renegade hits a quick dropkick. A running boot in the corner hits Mone and Renegade rolls through a middle rope high crossbody. Mone is back with a Backstabber for two but Renegade kicks her down. The moonsault misses though and Mone hits the Mone Maker into the Bank Statement for the win at 3:10.

Rating: C. Renegade has shown herself to be a reliable jobber to the stars and that was the case again here. She got in a bit of offense on Mone before Mone wrapped things up, which is about how this should have gone. It might not have been a great match or anything, but it was nice to have Mone get in the ring for a quick match for a change.

Post match Mone is happy with her win and her recent success but now she wants in the Women’s Owen Hart Tournament to take the Women’s Title at All In. Tony Schiavone says Billie Starkz is in the tournament as well, but Mone says Starkz’s trainer is terrible. Cue Athena (Starkz’s trainer, or at least mentor), who drops Mone with a Forearm and loads up the O Face (top rope Stunner), which hits Renegade by mistake. I don’t buy that Athena is going to get the push that she deserves in AEW, but it’s nice to have her facing bigger competition for a change.

Queen Aminata is injured and can’t wrestle tonight but Serena Deeb comes in, mocking her for getting injured due to not listening to Deeb. Aminata isn’t going to listen to Deeb, who tells her to use the time off to think about it.

Learning Tree vs. Top Flight

Bill stares Darius down to start so it’s quickly off to Dante vs. Keith. Dante grabs an armdrag and hits a dropkick before Darius comes in to strike away in the corner. Bill comes back in for the far bigger chops to put him on the floor as we take a break. Back with Darius getting over for the tag to Dante, who is immediately dropped by Bill.

A Boss Man Slam puts Darius down but Bill’s Stinger Splash hits Keith by mistake. The string of kicks to the face into a springboard Downward Spiral drops Bill and something like a Shell Shock gets two on Keith. Bill comes back in and splashes Dante in the corner. Keith’s running knee sets up Bill’s huge chokeslam for the pin at 9:38 (with Bill’s bugged out eyes looking rather nutty).

Rating: B-. Another nice match here with Bill continuing to look like an absolute star. He’s turned into something of value as he has the intensity to back up his giant power stuff. I’m not sure I can imagine the Learning Tree getting the Tag Team Titles, but Bill being involved in a higher profile match is a good thing. It seems that Top Flight is right where they’re going to be, making them one of the more disappointing “what if’s” in AEW thus far.

Post match Cru teases coming in for the beatdown but AR Fox runs out to save Top Flight. Anytime this feud wants to end, I’d be fine with it.

Jamie Hayter is glad to be back to face Billie Starkz tonight, in the show’s main event (that’s certainly a choice). Oh and she’ll be in the Women’s Owen Hart Cup too.

Here is Adam Cole, with the Undisputed Kingdom, for a chat with Daniel Garcia, who comes complete with Matt Menard. Cole praises Garcia for their recent matches, saying they were the toughest of Cole’s AEW career. That shouldn’t work for Garcia though, as he should be bothered that he couldn’t beat Cole. They need to finish this fight and Garcia agrees, but Menard asks how many shots Cole is going to get.

Cole couldn’t beat him and Garcia doesn’t have to do this, but Garcia wants to. Garcia issues a challenge for a rematch, but the seconds get in an argument. Garcia cuts it off, saying it’s no time limit, no outside interference. That’s a weird way to go, as Garcia was acting like it was a fresh challenge, but Schiavone mentioned the match before they got out here. That’s either a really badly worded promo or Schiavone jumped the gun.

Athena, with Billie Starkz, is ready to knock Mercedes Mone out again. She’s in the Women’s Owen Hart Tournament too. As for tonight, she’ll be watching Starkz’s match VERY closely, and yes that sounds like a threat.

Dax Harwood vs. Wheeler Yuta

They fight over wrist control to start and go to the mat with Yuta getting the better of things with a headlock. That’s broken up and Yuta has to bail from the threat of a Sharpshooter. A northern lights suplex gives Harwood two and they head outside, where Harwood is sent into the steps. Yuta stomps on the arm, with Nigel using the HE HAS TILL FIVE, which he thinks is a great catchphrase. Harwood is planted with a superplex and we take a break.

Back with Harwood on the other side of the barricade but fighting out with the good arm. They get back inside with Harwood working on the leg, including wrapping it around the post. The Hartbreaker around the post has Yuta in more trouble but he breaks up a traditional Figure Four.

Harwood is right back with a belly to back superplex for two but they both need a breather. Yuta’s Cattle Mutilation sends Harwood to the ropes for a change so Yuta puts it on again. Harwood breaks it up a second time and gets the Sharpshooter but the rope is grabbed again. Back up and Yuta grabs the seatbelt for the clean win at 12:24.

Rating: B. Better match than I was expecting, but egads Yuta is just not interesting. He feels like the most generic wrestler you could have today and nothing he did here made him stand out. Harwood is the guy who can work well with anyone on his own, but seeing him lose time after time has turned these matches into instances of waiting for the inevitable. That’s a weird way with the title match coming next week.

Post match Harwood is annoyed at the loss, claiming that it was only a two count. He grabs the referee so security comes in. Cash Wheeler comes in as well and gets shoved down, though Harwood might not have known who he was. They go face to face but Wheeler walks away.

Cru asks the Patriarchy what is up with AR Fox, but Nick Wayne thinks it’s the team asking him for help. They imply that he’s right, but nothing is confirmed.

Hologram vs. Blake Christian

Lee Johnson is here with Christian. They trade flips to start and both of them try dropkicks to give us a standoff. Christian offers some mocking applaud before slapping Hologram in the mask. They wind up on the floor, where Christian misses a moonsault but is able to send a charging Hologram into the steps.

We take a break and come back with Hologram flipping him into a northern lights suplex for two. Hologram loads up a dive but takes out Johnson by mistake, followed by a hurricanrana to bring Christian off the barricade. Back in and Christian puts him down, setting up a springboard 450 for two. Christian hits a powerslam but misses a Lionsault, allowing Hologram to plant him down again. The very spinning torture rack bomb puts Christian away at 8:47.

Rating: B-. So you know all those matches where Hologram has looked good and commentary talks about how awesome he is but he never seems to move up the ladder or do anything important? Of all of them that I’ve seen so far, this is the latest one. The match was entertaining as usual, but Hologram needs to do something new already.

Thunder Rosa and Kris Statlander are both in the Women’s Owen Hart Tournament and they’re both ready to win, even if it means facing each other.

Jamie Hayter vs. Billie Starkz

Hayter powers her into the corner to start and then runs her over with some shoulders. Starkz gets a sloppy sunset flip for two and a kick to the head out of the corner does a bit better. Hayter takes over again and we take a break, coming back with Starkz having to go to the rope to escape a half crab. A basement superkick sends Hayter outside for a suicide dive and Starkz drops her Swanton for two.

Hayter is back up with a dropkick into the corner and we need a double breather. A brainbuster onto the knee gives Starkz two but Hayter knocks her down for the basement lariat. The Hayterade misses so Hayter kicks her in the face and grabs a German suplex for two. Hayterade is blocked again but this time Hayter goes big with a springboard Hayterade for the pin at 10:00.

Rating: C. What a weird choice for a main event. I’m guessing this was going with the idea of “it’s 10:00pm on a Saturday night and this is against March Madness” so they completely punted on this match. It wasn’t exactly great stuff either, as Hayter needed a win to get back after her absence but Starkz isn’t quite a top level opponent.

Athena comes out to stare down Hayter to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show ran out of steam near the end as it felt like they just stopped putting on important stuff. The first half or so is good and the action worked, but the weird main event and Hologram having the latest in his long list of interchangeable matches didn’t help. This wasn’t their best show as it might have been decent, but it only felt somewhat important throughout, which makes for a bit of a testy two hours.

Results
Jay White b. Kevin Knight – Blade Runner
Mercedes Mone b. Robyn Renegade – Bank Statement
Learning Tree b. Top Flight – Chokeslam to Dante
Wheeler Yuta b. Dax Harwood – Seatbelt
Hologram b. Blake Christian – Spinning torture rack bomb
Jamie Hayter b. Billie Starkz – Springboard Hayterade

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Elimination Chamber 2018
Date: February 25, 2018
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Paradise, Nevada
Attendance: 15,126
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania XXXIV and that means we need to crown Roman Reigns as the #1 contender all over again. Brock Lesnar is waiting for the winner at Wrestlemania and you know how much WWE loves that match. Other than that, the Raw Women’s Title is also on the line in the Elimination Chamber. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Gallows And Anderson vs. Miztourage

For those of you who have forgotten, that would be Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas. Axel grabs a headlock and then a front facelock on Anderson to start. Some right hands keep Anderson in trouble so it’s off to Gallows, who dubs Axel a nerd and hammers away. It’s back to Anderson, who gets punched by Dallas a few times to take over again. Anderson gets in his HI YAH kick but misses a blind tag, meaning he gets shoved off the top as we take a break.

Back with Anderson still in trouble with the Tourage taking turns pounding away in the corner. A belly to back suplex gets Anderson out of trouble though and it’s…not enough to bring Gallows back in. The running boot to the face is though, with Gallows getting to clean house. It’s already back to Anderson, who gets taken down, but manages to send Dallas into the ropes to crotch Axel on top. The Magic Killer finishes Axel at 8:50.

Rating: C. It was a total run of the mill match, but this is what I want in a Kickoff Show match. They got in, had one match, and then got out before they overstayed their welcome. Yeah it could have been on any given house show, but that also means you’re just kind of warming the fans up rather than giving them some big match. Perfectly fine match, though it does show why the tag division isn’t exactly memorable around this time.

The opening video looks at this show being one of the last major stops on the way to Wrestlemania, with the winners getting a guaranteed spot on the show. Normally I would mock the idea of wrestlers having no path to Wrestlemania, but that was exactly what they would wind up doing with John Cena this year.

We recap the Women’s Elimination Chamber, which was announced by Stephanie McMahon (of course) as the next big thing the women are getting to do for the first time. There is also tension between Bayley and Sasha Banks, who are both in the match anyway. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are friends too, but they’re on a bit better page.

Raw Women’s Title: Women’s Elimination Chamber

Alexa Bliss is defending and this is the first ever women’s edition of the match. Sonya Deville is in at #1 and Bayley is in at #2 to get things going with five minute intervals. Deville wrestles her to the mat without much trouble to start as Bayley isn’t quite on that level. Bayley gets smart by sending her into the buckles instead, even throwing in a glare at Bliss.

Deville gets in a shot of her own though and catapults Bayley into the Chamber wall, which Bayley manages to grab in a cool counter. Back in and Bayley misses an elbow and things get to reset a little bit. Bayley knocks her onto the floor for the big elbow and two before grabbing the chinlock.

Mandy Rose is in at #3 so Bayley goes after her, even managing to knock Deville back as well. The numbers game starts to get the better of Bayley though and Deville spears her down before a double ram into the wall gets two. Rose drops her for two more and Deville has to yell at the referee. Bayley gets sent into the cage again and it’s Sasha Banks in at #4 to give us something of a tag match.

Banks starts fast by sending Rose into the pod over and over but Deville is back up. Deville drops Banks for two and is the only one left standing as Bliss is looking nervous in her pod. Bayley and Banks are back up to send Deville into various hard things but Rose drops Banks to even things up again. A faceplant drops Banks but for some reason Rose doesn’t cover, allowing Banks to pull her into the Bank Statement for the elimination at 13:53.

Mickie James is in at #5 and cleans house, including a double clothesline to Bayley and Banks. Bayley gets dropped with a neckbreaker and then flapjacks Banks into a nipup. A hurricanrana takes Deville down on the outside and a heck of a kick to the face drops Banks. For some reason James climbs the cage and, after kicking Bayley down, hits a super Thesz press from the top of the pod to pin Deville at 17:34.

Banks is right back up with a Backstabber into the Bayley To Belly to plant James though and we’re down to three at 17:59. Bliss panics in her pod as Bayley and Banks are fine with sitting around waiting for Bliss to come in. Bliss is in at #6 to complete the field so she tries to hide in the pod, then climbs up the Chamber wall. The other two go after her and all three wind up on top of a pod…where Banks kicks Bayley down (and the fans approve). Bliss tries to beg off from Banks, who is jumped by Bayley, allowing Bliss to jump Bayley for a change.

Bayley fights up with a suplex but gets tackled into the corner by Banks in short order. Banks gets tied in the Tree Of Woe so Bayley can stomp away, only to get superplexed by Bliss. A frog splash to Bayley gives Banks two and everyone is down again. Back up and Banks sends Bayley into the buckle but takes too long, allowing Bayley to hit a super Bayley To Belly as there are way too many B’s in this match. Bliss (See what I mean?) takes care of that by rolling Bayley up for the elimination at 25:32 and we’re down to two.

Bliss takes her time getting up and Twisted Bliss hits raised knees. Banks misses a running boot though and gets her leg caught in the wall, allowing Bliss to take her down again. That’s not enough for Bliss, who goes up for Twisted Bliss from the top of the pod to the floor. The falls only count inside though and Banks is able to get a quick Bank Statement. That’s broken up so Banks starts to climb, only to be sent into the pod. A top rope hanging DDT retains Bliss’ title at 29:37.

Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the three two person teams (James and Bliss were close enough) were a nice way to tie things together. Bliss surviving over both Banks and Bayley is believable with the two of them fighting, but she felt like she escaped rather than surviving. It’s good enough, even if it never quite got into that next level. For a first edition though, it worked.

Post match Bliss can’t believe she won and says the win means everything to her. She says this is about every girl and woman in the audience who ever dreamed big. This proves you can be whatever you want to be so dare to dream and dream big. She’s looking out at the people and the reality is…none of them will ever accomplish their dreams. Tonight, she proved that no one is better than her and she just won, despite no one believing in her. Bliss was laying it on thick and it felt like the turn was coming, though it still worked.

Braun Strowman is waiting to get inside the Chamber. Oh geez I had forgotten about the “wrestlers use their own phones for promos” period.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Titus Worldwide vs. The Bar

Titus Worldwide (Titus O’Neil and Apollo (hold the Crews) with Dana Brooke) is challenging after beating the Bar in a non-title match. The Bar jumps them before the bell but get clotheslined for their efforts. Apollo hits a big dive to the floor (thankfully not injuring himself on Sheamus’ mohawk as he’s in his Taxi Driver phase) and the match officially starts. Cesaro seems to be favoring his leg as Apollo hits a top rope splash for two. Back up and Apollo gets sent outside and we settle down a bit.

Cesaro grabs the chinlock before handing it back to Sheamus for an armbar. That’s broken up so Cesaro grabs a front facelock, which is broken up as well. Sheamus is right there to cut off the tag again though and the armbar goes on again (he’s nothing if not consistent). Cesaro grabs another chinlock, which is broken up, but Sheamus is right there to break up another tag attempt.

Sheamus cheap shots O’Neil off the apron but misses a charge into the post, allowing the diving tag off to O’Neil. Some big boots give O’Neil two but Cesaro leapfrogs him for a blind tag to Sheamus. That doesn’t work either as O’Neil pulls Sheamus out of the air for Clash Of The Titus. Apollo hits a dive onto the champs and a high crossbody gets two on Sheamus. Cesaro takes out Apollo’s knee though and it’s a White Noise/springboard spinning uppercut combination to retain the titles at 10:04.

Rating: C. This was little more than an extended Raw match as Titus Worldwide didn’t feel like the most serious challengers. They were a fun enough team, but that’s not enough to beat the rather serious Bar. The match was fine, but I’m not sure how much drama there was about a title change.

We recap Asuka vs. Nia Jax. Asuka is going to Wrestlemania after winning the Royal Rumble but Jax is going after her. If Jax wins, she’s added to the Wrestlemania title match.

Jax crushes an Asuka match in the back.

We look at Asuka’s undefeated streak, which is now in danger. This gets a rather good deal of time, breaking down the streak in a Rumble By The Numbers style.

Nia Jax vs. Asuka

There is still something creepy about Asuka’s match showing up on the Titantron at the start of her entrance. Asuka starts fast with a dropkick but gets dropped with a single headbutt. As tends to be her custom, Asuka is right back up to go after her again, only to be knocked down again. A knee to the back cuts Asuka down again and a backbreaker has her in more trouble. The running elbow gets a delayed two and Jax shrugs off a kneebar attempt. Asuka comes back with a quick guillotine, which is muscled up into a Jackhammer for another power counter.

Back up and Asuka fires off some kicks, only to get countered into the Samoan drop as this is one sided so far. The big legdrop misses though and a sliding kick gives Asuka two. Some more strikes put Jax on her knee, where she screams, only to be shut up by a running kick to the face. Jax catches her on top but Asuka grabs a sunset bomb for a huge crash. A missed charge sends Jax’s shoulder into the post and we hit the cross armbreaker. That’s broken up with a powerbomb into the corner as the fans are getting more into this. Jax picks her up for a powerbomb but Asuka reverses into a victory roll for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: B-. This was a good example of telling a story in a match as Asuka wasn’t getting anywhere with her usual stuff. She was up against a different kind of opponent and had to find openings where she could to win. I liked the match a lot more than I was expecting to and that’s always nice to see.

Post match Jax beats up Asuka again, including a spear through the barricade.

Alexa Bliss is happy with what just happened to Asuka. No one is ready for Alexa.

Asuka is helped out. It feels like there is a lot of time filler on this show.

Roman Reigns (mixed reaction) is asked about some recent comments. Reigns: “Do I look like the kind of guy who cares what Paul Heyman has to say?” He’s not worried about Brock Lesnar, but tonight he’s winning the Elimination Chamber and going to Wrestlemania to take Lesnar out.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy. Wyatt beat Hardy, who became Broken/Woken and started talking about various weird things, as they both tended to do. This gives us creepy Wyatt vs. Broken Matt, which is as odd as you can get.

Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy makes his entrance, then the lights go out and Wyatt appears in the ring…but only Hardy’s robe is left. We get a Hardy voiceover promising to make Wyatt obsolete, with Hardy singing some of Jeff Hardy’s Obsolete song. Wyatt goes looking for Hardy, who appears on the steps and the fight is on, including the opening bell.

Hardy wastes no time in knocking him down but Wyatt does his upside down lean in the corner. That earns Wyatt some applause, with the fans joining in. A DDT drops Hardy for two but Wyatt is back up for the running crossbody. Wyatt knocks him down again and we hit the chinlock as commentary makes various jokes to mostly ignore the match. The fans are clearly distracted by something else as the chinlock continues.

The hold is broken up and they head to the apron for a slugout, with Hardy being knocked out to the floor. Wyatt plants him again out there for two back inside and he’s….I guess frustrated? Hardy gets a boot up in the corner though and a tornado DDT drops Wyatt for two. The Side Effect connects for the same and the middle rope elbow to the back of the head staggers Wyatt again.

Wyatt is frustrated enough that he hits the release Rock Bottom into the backsplash for two of his own. The fans chant for Rusev as this match just keeps going, though Wyatt missing a middle rope backsplash brings them back to reality. Well as realistic as this is going to be. Sister Abigail is loaded up but Hardy reverses into the Twist Of Fate for the win at 9:56.

Rating: D. This was a great illustration of why the Broken/Woken stuff did not work in WWE. The appeal of this stuff in TNA was that everything was so low budget that it could be the focal point. Here though you have something as grand as the Elimination Chamber and bigger stars, which make this feel really low rent and, in short, stupid. The match wasn’t very good either, making this quite the chore.

We recap Ronda Rousey debuting last month at the Royal Rumble in a pretty awesome moment. Well, minus all of the bad smiling and awkward sign pointing.

Various wrestlers talk about how tough and awesome Rousey really is.

Here is Raw General Manager Kurt Angle for Rousey’s official contract signing, joined by Raw Commissioner (because each show needed TWO bosses) Stephanie McMahon and HHH. McMahon and HHH talk about how great Rousey is and how no one has been a bigger deal since Angle himself. Rousey comes out and looks more serious than in her debut, which is a nice upgrade.

Rousey says she can’t believe she’s here and talks about how much this means to her, only to have the fans’ ROUSEY chants cut her off. She thanks Roddy Piper for being her inspiration and hopes she can make his family proud. HHH gets down to business and asks if Rousey wants any perks in her contract, but Rousey wants to be treated like anyone else. The only thing she wanted is an invite to Wrestlemania, but she’ll also be having her first match at Wrestlemania.

Rousey is about to sign, but Angle says he’s in awe of HHH and McMahon. They’ve been talking about Rousey for a long time now, because they wanted to manipulate and humiliate her after what she did to them at Wrestlemania 31. Angle: “Isn’t that what you said Hunter? Three years in the making and now we own the b****?” HHH cuts that off in a hurry and tries to get Rousey back to her dreams while saying Angle has the flu.

With the guys gone, McMahon has Rousey almost ready to sign, but Angle pops up to say McMahon had been calling Rousey a has been. The death stare is back and so is HHH, who has to save his wife’s life. McMahon leaves so Rousey puts HHH through the table, earning herself the big slap. Then….Rousey just lets her leave before signing. This was pretty long, but it set up the obvious mixed tag for Rousey’s debut at Wrestlemania.

Commentary talks about what we just saw.

Fastlane rundown.

John Cena is worried about having no path to Wrestlemania, continuing one of the dumbest ideas in wrestling.

We recap the men’s Elimination Chamber, which is all about getting to go to Wrestlemania and challenge Brock Lesnar. This year’s edition has seven people, because a structure literally designed for six people has to be changed due to reasons of WWE being screwy. All of them want to win, but there isn’t much hiding that this is going to be Roman Reigns.

Men’s Elimination Chamber

Before we get going, Elias has to promise that he’s going to Wrestlemania, albeit in song form. The fans do seem to like the WALK WITH ELIAS deal and he’s entering last for an advantage. The song is dedicated to himself, because Las Vegas doesn’t get a song. The fans aren’t appreciative so Elias threatens to go sit in his pod. Then he sings anyway, because that’s what a heel would do.

Braun Strowman FINALLY interrupts as the entrances continue, along with the filler. After a good ten minutes of entrances, including Strowman scaring Miz from inside his pod in a funny bit, Miz Rollins is in at #1, Seth Rollins is in at #2 and Finn Balor is in at #3 to actually start this off (in a Wrestlemania preview) with five minute intervals.

Miz suggests an early alliance with Rollins to go after Balor and gets nowhere. Balor isn’t interested in teaming up with Miz either, but he’ll team up with Rollins to go after Miz in a funny bit. Miz is quickly thrown over the top and the alliance ends with Rollins grabbing a rollup for two. A dropkick cuts Rollins down and a basement version drops Miz again. Rollins kicks Balor down for two and it’s off to an exchange of rollups for two each. Balor gets caught in a backbreaker and a springboard clothesline takes Miz down again. There’s the Falcon Arrow for two on Miz, who landed hard on his shoulder.

Rollins hits a double Blockbuster for two each and it’s John Cena in at #4, even sticking his tongue out at Rollins in a weird look. They stare each other down before the fight is on, with Cena beating up Rollins and Miz at the same time. Balor gets back up but it’s Rollins knocking all of them into a corner for a string of running forearms. Cena isn’t having that and fireman’s Rollins and Balor at the same time. Both of them escape the AA though and Miz neckbreakers Rollins for two. Cena and Rollins both hit superplexes and everyone is down, with Roman Reigns coming in at #5.

Reigns gets to hammer away a bit before getting in a showdown with Rollins. They’re rammed into each other though and Miz DDTs Rollins for a fast two. Miz is the only one standing and he eventually starts firing off YES Kicks to all of the others before focusing on Reigns. This goes as well as you might have expected but the comeback is cut off by Balor. Reigns powerbombs him straight down and gets in a Samoan drop for two on Cena.

Braun Strowman is in at #6 and it’s a staredown with Reigns, only for Strowman to go after everyone else. Rollins and Cena get suplexed at the same time before Strowman literally throws Balor around. Miz climbs the Chamber wall…and Strowman goes right after him for some rams into the wall. Then Miz is thrown onto a pile in the ring for quite the visual. Everyone is down and Strowman is waiting on Elias, the only person left to enter. The running powerslam gets rid of the Miz for our first elimination at 20:18.

Elias comes in at #7 to complete the field but realizes that Strowman is waiting on him. Everyone but Elias goes after Strowman and they get together for a Shield Bomb for two. The AA gets one, followed by the spear, Stomp and Coup de Grace but everyone (save for the podded Elias) brawls, leaving Strowman down instead. Elias comes in to cover everyone not named Strowman and then takes turns beating on most of the people. A top rope elbow gets two on Rollins and the spinning powerbomb hits Reigns for the same.

Strowman misses a charge into the post but Elias can’t electric chair him up. That means the powerslam can get rid of Elias at 25:52. Rollins knees Strowman down and Cena goes up, only to dive into a powerslam to give Strowman another elimination at 27:23. Strowman and Balor slug it out, with Balor getting some boots up in the corner. Balor is back up with a Coup de Graces to Reigns but Strowman powerslams Balor at 30:40.

We’re down to three so Reigns and Rollins agree to team up against the monster, which doesn’t get the reaction you might expect. Strowman gets low bridged out to the floor for a ram into the Chamber wall. Then Rollins, like a schnook, turns on Reigns with a Buckle Bomb but Reigns Superman Punches him down. Strowman is back up and chases Rollins up a pod but gets pulled down with Reigns’ Samoan drop. Ever the slightly crazy man, Rollins drops a frog splash off the pod for two and Reigns gets back in. That’s fine with Strowman, who dropkicks him to the floor and powerslams Rollins for the pin at 36:33.

We’re down to two and Strowman invites Reigns to “COME GET THESE HANDS BOY!” Reigns gets shoved out to the floor but escapes a powerslam and sends him into the wall. The big dive over the top hits Strowman, but it doesn’t look as good when they’re at the same height. Strowman gets knocked through the pod but doesn’t stay down long, allowing Reigns to hit a Superman Punch as the fans aren’t pleased. Another Superman Punch sets up a blocked spear so Reigns hits a third Superman Punch. Two spears finish Strowman to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 40:11.

Rating: B-. And there it is. Strowman gets to be this big dominant force in the Chamber and has the all time performance, which would be a clean sweep in any other Chamber, but instead, Reigns wins AGAIN. That was the problem for WWE at this point as it was ALL about Reigns. John Cena was in this match and was a complete afterthought, along with other multiple former World Champions. But it sets up Reigns for another Lesnar match and that’s all that matters.

Post match Strowman powerslams Reigns and sends him through a pod to end the show. Now in theory this would set up some kind of Reigns vs. Strowman showdown, but nah, as Strowman would spend a few weeks beating up Elias before going to Wrestlemania where he would pick a ten year old out of the crowd to win the Tag Team Titles. Which he would then forfeit. Then he would win Money In The Bank. And lose the cash-in when Lesnar interfered. Then he would lose to Lesnar for the vacant title. But at least he ALMOST got to beat Reigns here right?

Overall Rating: C-. I was kind of looking forward to seeing this show again as this period isn’t the most fondly remembered. After a few years away, I was wondering if it really was as bad as remembered and….it’s really just dull. There is nothing on here that is must see, with the two Chamber matches being the highlights. Even those matches were just ok, as Bliss keeps the title and Reigns gets to move on to his next destiny Wrestlemania main event. The rest of the show is completely skippable (save for MAYBE the contract signing) with nothing you need to see. I’m glad to be away from this era, as it lives down to its legacy.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

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